2005-09-08 Show

The following is an exclusive of PCU Radio and MadHouseLive.com.

Dirty 50's rap, my choice of the vibe

Aha!

Hello everybody, you're back on the Madhouse, it is now 9.24pm EST

And I'm here with nobody except for Athena, my girlfriend in the studio as usual

How you doing Athena?

I'm well, thank you very much

I know Milkman was hanging out earlier and he apparently went to do something and has not come back yet

So for the time being it would just be me running the helm

Andy's not here either tonight

night, uh, he is, uh, been working very hard today and decided to take the night off the

show, so anyway, let me just down a little bit here, well, uh, what can I say, Thursday

night, um, it's another episode of the Madhouse here, September 8th, um, uh, let me give it

the toll-free line here, it's, you want to call in, you want to dial 888-278-8509, once

again, the, uh, toll-free line for the show is 888-278-8509, I'm breathing, wait, I keep

keep breathing. I'm just getting used to this new mic setup. I go and I end up half the

time breathing into it, and I sound like I'm 500 pounds, and I'm only 400. Well, what's

been going on in the news lately? More hurricane stuff. We're over here in Florida, and there's

a hurricane. Yeah, it is a hurricane, right, Athena? It's a Category 1 hurricane, and it's

off the coast, and it's just kind of sitting there, and it's supposed to do a loop and

do nothing. So, just to forewarn you, I was looking at the radar here a second. Let

Let me turn my head back.

I'm not showing anything of interest right now, just football.

But it looked like there was some pretty nasty rain bands that were going to be making their way into the area that I'm in, in Florida.

So that might mean that we might get cut off here if the electricity takes a hiccup or the cable takes a hiccup.

And in that case, just hang on, and I'll try to get back on as soon as I can.

So just bear with me tonight.

I don't know if they were headed this way or not.

I didn't see the radar in motion.

It just looked like a nasty line of storms headed over here.

here, so keep your fingers crossed and hopefully everything will be okay. And for some reason

I think I might be getting disconnected any second now because my computer is acting funny,

but anyway, let's keep our fingers crossed. Anyway, in store for tonight, of course, prank

calls as usual. I've got some numbers coming in from Lonesome. As always, he comes through

with very good stuff. Nunu here is telling me that he just called the gentleman James

Broadwater and got him to pick up the phone. Look at that. I don't know if he's Borat's

friend but he's a guy that borat aka ali g was uh fucking around with in mississippi i think so

we're gonna have to check that out i'm gonna give that a early call here for nunu because he's on

the uh he's out in england so he's gotta go to sleep early early than we do um what else we got

here we got some numbers coming in from honolulu hawaii um cyber bean internet cafe grandma's

coffee house uh there's the katrina's travel agency in pennsylvania and an invitations and

more by katrina in lakewood new jersey woman answered at 9 24 p.m about three minutes ago

uh i think he was always a lonesome loser for coming through with that uh uh the uh the numbers

his stuff is always of high quality and i never have any complaints so it's too loud uh thank you

very much for coming through with that okay guys uh hang on here bear with me i'm trying to get

my bearings as usual. I never start on, on time. Uh, again, the toll free line to call

on the show is 888-888-278-8509. Okay. Okay. Uh, let me get some music playing here real

quick and then we're going to go ahead and start the, uh, uh, first call. I'm going to

try to give a call to this gentleman. Um, nice. I'm going to give a call to this guy,

James Broadwater in Mississippi.

Hang on the line.

Hang on the air, guys.

I'm going to be right back with the first prank call.

It's 928, and you're listening to the Madhouse.

It's a lot of background noise.

Hey, Milkman.

Hey, what's happening?

What's up, man?

What are you doing?

All right, man.

I'm okay.

I had things I had to take care of here, man, so I'm sorry about going late.

Oh, that's good.

Are you okay?

I mean, can you go on?

Yeah, oh, yeah.

Everything's cool now, man.

I'm ready to rock and roll, baby.

What are you saying, man?

How's it going, brother?

Well, I don't know, man.

Man, I've got off to a shitty start.

Like, I had this phone call.

Yeah, man.

I sound like shit.

Athena, how do I sound?

You don't sound like shit.

Are you listening?

We just got to get some damn good numbers.

That's all.

No, I...

Where's the lonesome at?

Our lonesome friend.

He's coming through.

He's got me with numbers, but it's like my heart isn't in it tonight.

I don't know what the fuck's happening, man.

What?

All right, man.

We need a good call to get you sparked up.

I'm in a pissy mood, man.

I want you to be a little bit sparky.

Yeah.

Get that in our belt.

Maybe it's...

Who are we going to call?

We got, I'm trying to hook up this call with this dude, James Broadwater.

James Broadwater in Mississippi.

This is a call that Nunu has been begging me to do this call for him for, like, fucking ever.

Hey, I've got to talk to you, too, man.

Me and Nunu was chatting, and there was some good ideas I'll run by you later, man.

So I think you will enjoy it.

Okay.

I'll get up with you later off the air on that.

Okay, yeah, after the show.

Let's get my call, man.

Let's see what you've been up to.

Well, here's the thing.

Do you have a phone card?

I had a phone card you gave me.

Did you share that with KDK or someone else?

I got a brand new one here for you.

Oh, man.

Yeah.

I knew you did.

Everybody, thank you very much for hanging on with my journey.

Whatever.

All right, guys.

I apologize for delay, friends.

Just had to take care of a couple things.

I was in here earlier, and something turned up with the neighbors.

I had to go out and check on the neighbors.

I had a little problem, but everybody's okay.

No one's hurt.

So, I apologize for my lateness.

You got fighting neighbors and stuff, man?

No, no, no.

Just something was going on out there.

Just I had to go take care of it, you know, meet up with them and stuff.

I guess somebody's had a little problem, so.

Okay, all right.

Well, hopefully we'll have that occasionally.

Yeah, exactly.

Well, as long as everything works out, then that's good.

Yeah, man.

Right on.

All right.

I'm going to get the toll-free number line out for everybody.

Again, that's 888-278-8509.

That's 888-278-8509.

Okay, all right.

So we're doing better here

Milkman did you send that to me

Let me check my buddy list here

I think you're working on it still

While you get that going here

Let me talk a little bit

Everybody be sure to visit

The show page madhouselive.com

Again that's madhouselive.com

That's where I have

I've been keeping up pretty good

Update with that

If you missed last Saturday's surprise show

That we did here

You've been keeping up real good

Yeah I've got last Saturday's episode

It was me, Zolar, and you.

We did an impromptu Saturday late show, and that was a really, really good show, man.

I had a great time.

That was very fun.

And who of all people would come in on a line?

Incredible, inedible, Roy Woods Jr.

Exactly, yeah.

That was cool, man.

Roy Woods Jr.

Did a call.

Did a call, even, yeah.

I've got that saved.

Yeah, it was cool.

Cool. So I want to thank Prankmaster for coming through with that interview.

We've got to talk about Prankmaster. What's going on with Prankmaster?

You tell me, because I'm in the dark as usual.

Look, man, I don't know what the exact situation is.

I haven't got a chance to talk to Mr. Z.

I've talked to Prank.

Listen, everybody, the way I feel about Prank is part of the show.

I enjoy having him on.

He's fantastic.

He's got a lot of contacts.

He's got a lot of history with PCU.

There's a lot of listeners that have been around for a while.

A lot of them are going to identify with the show.

Plus, he connects with the younger crowd.

He's that bridge to the younger crowd.

Between the older crowd that are into pranking and some of the younger people.

He brings that juvenile spark to the show.

He has the heart and the soul of a child.

Exactly.

And the demeanor at times, too.

Exactly, exactly, exactly.

Hey, I'm not knocking it, Frank.

Man, it's good.

Innocence is good.

Hold on to it as long as you can.

Oh, yeah, man, because once the real world hits you, man, God.

That's it, right?

You end up like me and Zolar and Carlito.

Yeah, we've got debts and stuff.

We've got health problems.

Oh, man.

Car payments and insurance and oh, Jesus.

I just said women and the thing is it gives me the look like, what?

Well, you know, I've got seven girlfriends, okay?

I've got a Stratocaster, I've got two Taylors, I've got two Alvarez's, I've got two more Fenders.

All my girlfriends got strings, and they all are guitars.

Oh, really? So you make love to your guitars?

Oh, baby.

I'm going to play a little song for you all there.

Yeah, well, hey, a little bit of sports update out there for football fans.

Oakland 7, New England 3, with 2.33 left in the first quarter.

at the kickoff of the football season.

Thank God football season is here.

Yeah, baby!

Oh, yeah, man.

I love football.

This is great.

I love waking up Sundays at clock

and making myself a breakfast

and just sitting in front of the TV

until 7 o'clock at night

and just watching football.

And then the good shows start on Sunday nights, too.

You know, you've got your Simpsons and stuff like that.

At least for me.

That's right, man.

The new season.

Holiday season.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, and...

Come on, man, I can't log a chat.

You can't, you can't.

I've got to restart, man.

Oh, you were in there earlier, I hear.

Okay, all right.

We're just bullshitting everybody, I'm sorry.

Yeah, I was.

Okay, wait a minute, there it came.

You're in there?

What's going on?

Oh, jeez.

Excuse me.

Oh, you're here in there.

Yeah.

And DTT, thanks for trying to help us.

You just gave out the wrong URL for the homepage for the show.

You put in the maid house.

And I have no idea what the maid house is.

That better not be some kind of fucking joke.

That better not be some gay porno site that he just gave out trying to say, yeah, this is...

No, there better be some hot ladies with some skirts hiked up or something.

There better be some fucking nice Asian chicks in there.

Oh, my God.

Lord.

I can't even...

Oh, shit.

Maid house.

I'm going to find out Maid house.

I've got to see what that is.

That's crazy.

Look, you hear me breathing into this mic, man?

I suck, man.

Oh, man.

I'm such an amateur.

I can't really hear you breathing.

Every once in a while, I'll catch a puff, but it's not too bad.

I'm such a fat ass.

That's why.

Like I said, if you've got anything nice over here, just kind of blow a little bit this way, shotgun or something.

Oh, yeah, we'll get that digital high for you.

Digital contact shotty high.

The kind of day I have today, I'll definitely be doing that tonight, for sure.

Yeah.

Hey, can I give a shout out?

Yeah.

I'd like to give a shout out to everybody here at PCU.

Thank everybody.

KDK, the madman, helps us out with the server, KDK, and sponsors our show on the network.

and we've got a new listener i invite in tonight named electro everybody and he's right here in

the chat room give him a shout electro lunatic he's a new listener and he's a gizmo fan too

and he's a pc wizard so i just want to give a shout out to electro lunatic yeah exactly he's

out of country too man where's he at where's he from getting that international fan base

i've gone everywhere so like i said we're having uh problems weather weather-wise here so this is

is probably what's going on the madhouse party party party that's right that's right what's up

man now you're back okay man i thought i thought the stream got derailed or something there i just

want you to gotten a mass silence for a second there and i got like well maybe i'm talking to

myself i better maybe quiet just in case of one year right yeah yeah exactly i kept talking until

i got confirmation i got disconnected so um okay that's what i thought because then i i did bring

bring up the um the actual stream and it was like playing rotation calls but i normally keep it down

really low okay since i got caught here i didn't have it turned up at all okay i gotcha i gotcha

so i'm gonna i'm gonna go ahead and e-blast you this this car card here okay and i've got a brand

new one too for later on for kdk so i'm sharing this card with you from kdk right now okay all

right cool and i'll give kdk a brand new one if this thing runs out okay there should be several

dollars okay all right well that's that's perfect that's perfect i need to i'll i'll make a donation

a whole bag full of tricks i'll make a donation here or something do something so you can uh hook

me up with hey hey look that's that's no problem we'll get we'll get her straight baby hey i you

know i've got some new things in the works too i'm gonna run by you too later so um yeah you

might be able to do some calling from my end here too i'm working on i've got a bunch of stuff at

radio shack today hell yeah and uh i'll have everything hooked up maybe by tomorrow and i'll

I have an idea of what we can do with it.

Yeah.

Take some local calls on, baby, or do some toll calls from here.

Well, you know what?

I may be even, you know, if I ever have a problem with my phone going on here,

as long as I have an Internet connection, I can even redirect the toll-free line.

That's when I'm going to make it so we can do the gizmo.

Right.

Make it so we can do the gizmo, and you can still be on the call and talk and interact with them.

Exactly.

It'll be perfect.

I won't have to worry about the phone.

I won't have to worry about batteries or calling cards through gizmo.

Yeah.

It's going to be a great thing.

Good things are happening here in the madhouse.

Yeah, baby.

Okay.

All right.

Well, hey, look, concentrate on sending me that card so I can get the natives are getting restless in the chat room.

We've got to start making some calls here, these kids.

The natives are growing.

Do not overthrow us there, militia men.

We are here.

Yeah, well, yes.

The number is going now.

Now.

We're getting, uh-oh, uh-oh.

There it is.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, through the Google chat.

I love this Google chat, baby.

That's great.

Hey, isn't it cool, man?

Everybody out there, if you have Madhouse Radio, it's me, right?

Is that me?

Yeah, Madhouse Radio.

Milkman, what's yours?

Milk Space Man?

No.

No, mine's Milkman 82.

Milkman 82.

That's, I'm sorry.

Hey, that's where I'm at everywhere, baby.

I'm going to run another promo here for everybody and give them the information again.

Yeah, exactly.

About our little Madhouse party.

Hey, you were in the middle of giving out a shout-out, though.

You might want to repeat that real quick.

Oh, did I get it?

All right, let me try it again.

I want to give a big shout-out and thank you to our sponsor, KDK.

Woo!

And Madman, the guy that keeps our server up and running and all of us chatting and happy.

Yeah, baby.

Satan, our big guard, our bruiser doorman.

Thanks a lot.

And we've got a brand-new listener from overseas I invited.

He's a Gizmo fan.

He's a big computer whiz, and his name's Electro Lunatics.

Everybody, he's in the chat room.

Say hi to our buddy

Electro Lunatic

Our new listeners

And he's getting

Into this thing

He's going to be

Doing some calls

And trying to

Send him in

And he's going to be

Doing some sound boards

And stuff

He's just got the prank

So welcome

Electro Lunatic

Good yeah

We got a lot of

Yeah you're making

Some friends through

That gizmo thing

Huh

Yeah man

I'm looking for

My buddy Phaser

He should be on

He's out of Canada

Yeah where is he

At Phaser

He was the guest

We had him on

Last week actually

Yeah

Well you know

I'll tell you what

We could do

You know

You know, we may be able to do another one of those conference things here.

And Electro's got Gizmo.

All right.

So maybe we can work on that here and do a conference there during one of the breaks or something

and come back up on him.

Yeah, most definitely.

Most definitely.

Yeah, I want to give a quick shout-out to Tank.

I see Tank is in the chat room.

Tank from Technofrag.

Yeah, Tank.

Yeah, I like Technofrag.

I was on there again Saturday night.

We were on there with Zolar and you and me.

Yeah, man.

Well, thank you for letting me in.

a nut yeah oh yeah yeah but i i didn't hear all the viper i had to go to sleep but um i tried to

oh i i stayed up i ripped it too it's hilarious i'll send it to you man that's good did he do

calls or what what was this he did he tried to do a call but he was having problems he was using

ventrilo and and for whatever reason it was just it was acting up so uh they ended up ditching the

call so he was just basically you know just ripping asses and stuff it was fun yeah it was

It was fun.

Okay.

We've got to ask him sometime again to describe the wall of sin.

The wall of sin.

All right.

You're going to have to share that.

The wall of sin.

Yeah.

If you stayed up for the bonus show and the double extra feature from TechnoFrag,

then you'll know about the wall of sin.

The wall of sin.

All right.

Well, you'll have to catch me up on that.

Well, hey, we're going to do our first call.

We're going to do our first call for Nunu here.

He's been begging me, like I said, for weeks and maybe even months to call this cat.

We've got to get Nunu taken care of.

He's dedicated, man.

He is dedicated.

He's dedicated.

He is.

God bless him.

God save the queen.

All right, let me get...

Who did I see?

Nandini Broadwater on the line here.

Okay.

And everybody just hang on, and I'll be back with this first call.

It's only 9.53.

Seriously.

Normally we don't start this late, but we've got everything running here.

Give me a second.

I'll be right back.

We'll be right back with the Madhouse.

Thank you.

this is done to the second

per second billing

after tone

record message

after tone

record message

James Broadwater

try to crack

pick up phone

oh yes

try to crack

yep that'll bring him on

I think I just took a shit

ah we've lost him

damn it man

okay he's not picking up

let me show you

I can try one more time

damn it man

they just picked up

over there too dude

that sucks

man we'll get that

right for new new ones

I'll get a card

we will be back

and we'll definitely

invite them to the party yeah well yeah dirty dirty had i been able to unfortunately since

things got started off late um i couldn't start that i couldn't you know in theory i wanted to

call that dude at 9 15 so i gotta make it up to nunu again man i'm sorry dude i'm an asshole what

can i say i'll figure it out one day man this is for me here

we always try and take care of our listeners

Listeners, as soon as we get a live one, we will have the party on.

Hey, who was playing horses last week?

Was that you?

Horses?

There were horse sound effects.

I was hearing the...

Oh.

Someone was...

I didn't know there were horses on Gizmo, man.

That's crazy.

I was just wondering how you did it, that's all.

How to hack my Gizmo.

You want to hear one?

Yeah, yeah, do it.

Listen, everybody...

Oh, you're breaking up.

All those shitty listeners out there.

you're breaking up like crazy

but it's not like someone was taking a shit

I don't know

it's about packed man

so I'll be late

I just need to get crazy

just get everything

let's try to get

check out the bars on your gizmo

you're coming up really bad

alright hang on

well let me try another call here

let's call Ben Gay

once again that's Ben Gay

he's in Dublin, Georgia

and he answered earlier tonight

hopefully he's still up

and I try to get him on the line, everybody.

It's 9.57, and we're trying, once again, to get our virgin call tonight.

Everybody hang on, and we'll be right back on the map.

Can I speak to Ben, please?

Hello?

Hello, may I speak to Ben, please?

Hello?

Yes, may I speak to Ben, please?

Hello? May I please speak to Ben? Damn you.

Ben, you're gay.

Ben.

You're gay, aren't you?

I need to speak to Ben, please.

I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you.

Yeah, well, can you hear me now?

Slightly.

Slightly? What's the problem? What's going on?

Am I coming in too hard?

Dude, you're extremely quiet.

I can't hear you at all.

Well, you need to speak up yourself, okay, kid?

You know what I'm saying?

He's not here right now.

Well, who am I speaking with?

It's fine.

Casey.

Casey Gay?

Yeah.

Let me ask you a question.

I got a really, really bad strain in my hamstring.

It hurts a lot.

You think your dad can help me out with that?

That's only the fourth time, huh?

Do you get made fun of a lot because your last name is Gay?

Oh, yeah.

You're nothing new.

Really?

I'm nothing new?

You sure you can put up with this, right?

Oh, yeah.

Okay.

You're nothing new to me.

Have you ever gotten so upset at someone calling you gay that you wanted to punch them in the face?

Not really.

No?

Steve, obviously you've got a whole lot of time on your hands.

I do.

Have you ever had sex with a woman just to prove to yourself that you're not gay?

You've got a lot of time on your hands, don't you?

I've got plenty of time.

I've got all night, sir.

I have three hours and 19 minutes and 26 seconds.

What's going on?

What are you watching there in the background?

I'm watching anything.

You know the birdcage is on tonight.

Really?

Yeah.

You ever see the birdcage?

Never heard of it.

You ever see Scent of a Woman?

Huh?

You ever see Scent of a Woman?

I'm still not hearing you.

You ever see Scent of a Woman?

I don't think not either.

You wouldn't know about the Scent of a Woman then, huh?

You're still extremely quiet.

I'm just trying to hear you.

Well, look.

You know, I get this complaint a lot, but you really need to stop coming with excuses.

Number one.

Number two, instead of scent of a woman, would you be more familiar with the smell of K-Y and ass?

Is he trying to make me mad? Because it's not going to happen.

I'm not trying to make you mad. I'm just trying to get you to admit you need to change your name.

And I'm here to offer you plenty of suggestions for last names, such as straight.

He hung up already.

What a gay. That's funny, man.

What kind of last name is gay?

That's a very gay last name.

He's a gay son. A gay son.

Son of gay.

Hey, man, your dad's gay.

I had a guy I went to school with, man.

I'll just tell a quick story, man.

His name was Charlie Johnson, and this guy was, like, flaming before we even knew what flamers were.

This was back in the day.

And everybody ended up calling him Gason, Charlie Gason.

So he ended up being Gason.

Gason.

The son of the gay we just called Gason.

So you know a lot about that guy, huh?

Oh, man, I got a long history there of harassing the gay sons.

They just love me.

You just love harassing gay sons.

All right, well.

Hey, we got to keep up to date, Sean.

I'm still on prank calls occasionally, too.

Really?

Yeah, you need to come through yourself, man.

You never, once we get that hooked up on your end, you can definitely do a prank call, man.

Yeah, man.

We'll get this thing tweaked, man.

We'll get it set up.

You should just call the toll-free line sometime here on the show.

You call it.

it you know you meet your gizmo call it and then i'll conference you know we'll do i'll do it well

you know that's what always for me it doesn't dial for me it doesn't we need to call we need to talk

to call eight because when i try to call for my area code yeah it won't let me i can call katie

k line and no problem and we have the same company and um yeah we're yeah so he suggested call it to

me so yeah that's what i'm saying it might be just a thing that where they just need to activate our

that area code yeah because i have to use a toll call calling the car just to call the toll never

recall it okay all right i got you all right man well yeah well i'll have to i'll have to look into

that and see if i can find out maybe there's an extra charge i don't know i don't know i'll find

out all right man uh what else is going on let me have well heck if there is i'll help out with it

man yeah okay well it no that's fine uh everybody the toll-free line is 888-278-8509 once again

toll-free is 888-278-8509 you know that's something i get calls from canada sean war calls

He calls the show, and who else is it?

Who's the Canadian kid?

Randy Dandy?

He's Canadian, right?

No.

One of those guys in the news.

What's his name?

You know, Randy hasn't called in.

He didn't call in last week.

Did he?

I mean, Rand was in last night, but he's got school, I guess.

His school is conflicting with his listening hours and stuff.

So he's got, like, a band, I think.

I think he plays skin flute in a band.

Skin flute, yeah.

Yeah, I'm sure.

Yeah, that's good.

That's good.

Poor Randy.

But no, Randy, just because you're not here now, I guess I can get away with that.

So if you're listening, then you better come on and check into the chat room here and defend yourself.

Well, definitely.

And everybody else, call in toll-free, like I said, 888-278-8509.

And honestly, I usually don't get calls anyway until 10-something, so, you know, that's what I was going to say.

Yeah, you know, I think a lot of people just kind of are shy, you know, and, you know, there's nothing wrong with that.

You get a little bit of courage, a couple beers, you know, and whatnot.

whatnot, and find out, hey, man,

that sounded like a cool party. Let's go

join it. Give us a buzz, man.

We're going to be on. We're here for you.

Right. Look, man, are you throwing

out promotions for Madhouse Live at 9.15

p.m. next? You got it, baby.

Wait a minute. Why are you... Never mind.

Okay. I got to update it.

Okay. Let's see. In the chat room,

KDK, what's he saying? He's getting another

server to handle podcast traffic.

It's awesome. KDK's going to be podcasting now,

huh? Too cool. Yeah.

Yeah, man, I would definitely love, me and you have talked about that, right?

Yeah, exactly, man.

I'm trying to get that thing going, man.

So now that we've got a place to put them at, you see, that was part of the problem.

I was going to have to figure out about getting my own website or something.

Right, exactly.

Yeah, that would be cool.

And Nunu is saying he should get a PCU-related name, which I agree with.

We lost PCURadio.com, right?

I don't know what happened, how that went out in the big showdown.

Well, I guess Ted has registered it himself.

self you know he's got the whole he's in charge of the of the domain apparently so he's not giving

it up yeah he's just making it a google like well it's whatever i mean that's his prerogative

yeah i'm sure i'm sure it could probably be worked out but is it even worth the trouble

you know they need all the help they can get no one's listening over there they're dying away

withering away and you know it's unfortunate but choices were made and you know they decided to

go that way

with the ass hats

and then my hat's

off to the ass hat

you know

yeah well we'll get

I'm sure

well all KDK has to do

I guess is wait for his

to expire or whatever

and then renew it

himself

pick it up

and he's been watching

I guess

I don't know how long

in line maybe

oh okay he's saying

10 months

so in 10 months

yeah so we

in theory

we won't have

PC radio for 10 months

and I've got

I've got promos

that say

PC radio dot com

I gotta

I gotta go in

and edit those

or make some

make some new ones

and stuff I guess

I don't know

Yeah, exactly.

Just identify with KDK Prank Calls, and that way, you know, it's definitely going to point wherever we go.

It's always going to point back, because our man KDK's got a hand on that one.

Yeah, and all my calls now, everybody out there, all my calls are posted on my archive page at manhouselive.com.

And they all have, you know, a little intro at the beginning that gives a promo for KDK Prank Calls and manhouselive.com at the beginning and the end.

And so, by all means, feel free to download those and spread those around,

share them with people so they can hear what's on the Madhouse

and spread the word about listening to KDK prank calls.

And everybody, very important, try to listen in during the day.

We used to get big numbers, you know, when we're not live,

back on the PCU, on the old server, on the old servers, you know.

And right now we're not holding those numbers anymore.

I don't know what's going on.

It's the stolen bookmark syndrome, but our numbers are coming up.

We're gaining prominence again.

People are realizing where the live action's at.

Yeah, well, I think any day now, one of the two competing servers are going to die,

so it won't be a big deal anymore.

My Azhat's off in salute.

Play out taps.

Oh, hey, you know what?

I want to give out a shout-out to my buddy, the little buddy.

May he rest in peace.

Bob Denver.

Our buddy, Gilligan Denver.

Yeah, Bob Denford, that is a, yeah, isn't that something, huh?

I don't know, what do you, you know, I didn't know he was,

he supposedly was some really smart, lesbian guy and everything.

He was, he was actually, yeah, he was actually on for a long time.

Hats off to you, little buddy.

Little buddy, yeah, man, I used to love Gilligan's Island.

I'd watch the shit out of it every night.

Oh, I do.

At 6, it was on our local channel at 6, and then at 6.30, they showed a,

they showed it on TNT, I remember that.

I could get back-to-back episodes of Gilligan's Island.

It's a sad thing.

It's coming to pass.

They're all dying.

Who's left, I guess?

I don't know.

Who's left?

Marianne and Ginger, I figure, are the only two left, right?

No, the Professor's still alive.

I think Louise is on her eighth.

I don't know if he is.

I don't know.

No, he is.

He is on a...

I heard.

There's a website where you can pay, like, 20 bucks to have a celebrity call you for a birthday message or something.

and he's one of the people.

He's on there.

He's Johnson or something.

Yeah, he's alive still.

And I know the two, like, Marianne and Ginger both,

but I'm pretty sure everybody else is there.

I think Ginger's been reincarnated several times.

Yeah.

As much as I love her, she's probably got, like, her third or fourth plastic face,

but, you know, hey, she looks good, you know, with the plastic action.

I saw her, like, three years ago, I think I saw her, or something like that.

She looked pretty raw, man.

Yeah, yeah.

It's crazy.

You know how to stretch it so far, man, and then it just starts getting the raccoon-eye thing going.

Yeah, well, she had the whole, she looked like she was a big-time smoker, too, back in the day.

You know what I mean?

She just has that yellowish look to her and stuff.

I've got a buddy, Katie Kate.

She's got this friend, Jill, and Ed Rosenfall, Edgar, comes on the show sometimes,

and they're really big smokers, too, and I really enjoy my smoking.

I like these great big old cigars you get out of Cuba.

Can you get Cuba cigars there, or are they still...

Yes.

Yes, they're illegal here.

You can't.

Yes, they're illegal.

Yes, they are illegal.

Well, I just said yes, and then I said they're illegal here.

Well, you can get them easier there than I could here, then, right?

You can get some there.

If you can get them, you're probably going to pay $25 or $30 a piece.

Damn it.

Damn it, man.

I said yes, that was my answer, and then I corrected that by saying they're illegal here.

Yeah, okay, good.

Well, you know, I took a cruise to the Caribbean once, and we stopped in Nassau, St. Thomas, or St. Martin, I guess.

In Nassau, I bought a bunch of Cohibas.

I bought a bunch of Cohiba Red Dot Cuban cigars.

You know, because you have two types of Cohiba.

The kind you buy in America is made in the Dominican Republic.

Same company, Dominican Republic, Dominican grown.

Yeah, and then the real deal is Cuba, which you can get anywhere else in the world.

And they were dirt cheap in the Bahamas.

I bought a whole pack of them, nice cigars.

And I was smoking one a night.

I had like ten left over.

And they announced to us that if you have any cigars that are Cuban,

you're not going to be able to take them off the port,

so you're going to want to have to smoke them tonight.

So I went to the cigar lodge.

Smoke all your evidence now.

Oh, yeah, I smoked about two fat cigars.

I smoked two Cohiba cigars that night.

Smoke a dog turd.

I could not talk the next night

I hear ya

What do you think

We give some call

I was out here

And start a

Athena when did I

Start stirring up some action

When did I say that story

That was Sunday right

Did I say that story

Around you Athena

I don't know

I'm hoping I didn't say it

Last week on the air

And I'm just repeating it again

Holy shit

Well you know Red

On Red's tubes bar

Yeah

He really liked him

Stogie's tube

Yeah

Fucking Red

And the Rosenthal's

Yeah right

Look man we've been talking

For like a long time

And we haven't done anything

Alright man

Man, let's light up the touchstone pad.

Yeah, let's burn the waves.

I've got Katrina's Pono Kona Art in Hawaii.

Answered there about four minutes ago, Katrina.

I could charge this.

Katrina's Porno Art.

Porno Art.

It's just P-O-N-O.

I don't know.

Okay, it's an easy twist of words.

Hey, man, I'm drunk.

I couldn't read.

Baby had a couple of beers.

It's Porno Art.

Pono Art.

What kind of Porno Art you got?

Pono Art.

Okay, well, we're going to try giving that a call and see what's up with that.

Pono art.

Pono.

What is pono art, man?

P-O-N-O.

It's almost porno.

Yeah.

It's porno, but they all have socks on.

Yeah, exactly.

I don't know.

Yeah, yeah.

They're wearing their sock condoms.

Yeah, sock condoms.

All right.

They go all over the whole, the whole cock and balls are covered in it.

That's safe right there.

Exactly, man.

Up north, man, they use those, you know, when they go out in the wintertime, man.

Like at the bargain.

Yeah, well, I mean, if you use a condom, you can still get, what, gonorrhea and stuff if you, right?

Can't you?

I mean, I don't understand how you, because your eyeballs get it.

I hope not, because them condoms, man, those condoms right there are what I count on, baby.

And I ain't at it yet.

Yeah, all right.

What you count on.

Hey, you know, we'll call her up, man, and let's see if she's got any porno art.

And if she tells you, you know, I'm sorry here, I got an answer for her.

Okay.

I want you to suck an apology out of my dick.

Alright

I'll go with that

Okay well everybody

Hang on it's 10.14

We're going to try

Another call here

Bear with me

And we'll be right back

On the Madhouse

You're just listening

On PC Radio

Make a call

Hang up

I have to put this

Card in the USB

Dial in our break

Please enter your

Authorization code now

Yeah now

You have

Three

Dollars

Thirteen

Ten

Please enter your

Identification number

Now

Current balance

Will allow you to

Talk for

Four, two hours, five minutes, twenty-three seconds.

Katrina, it's Kathy speaking.

Aloha, Kathy, how are you?

Hello?

Yeah, aloha, Kathy, how are you?

I can hardly hear you.

Uh, please, please try harder, okay?

Hello?

Yes, I can just barely hear you.

Uh, well, you can deal with it, hang on.

Now, ma'am, is this Katrina's?

No.

What do you mean it's not Katrina's?

You just said it's Katrina's a second ago.

Uh, it's Katrina's shop.

Yeah, exactly, and I'm looking for Katrina's shop.

Yes, this is Katrina's shop.

Okay, the art shop, right?

Yes.

Okay, what kind of hurricane-related art do you have?

We're interested in opening up a mural here.

I'm sorry?

How many pictures of the storm aftermath do you have?

You know, I can't even hear you at all.

How many?

It's getting worse and worse.

What type of pictures do you have of the storm aftermath, I said?

What type of pictures do we have?

Yes.

We have volcano pictures.

Volcano.

We have artwork and we have photos.

Do you have anything related to Katrina?

No.

Well, this is Katrina.

You mean Katrina, the hurricane?

Yeah, I'd like to see a picture of two refugees having sex in the waters of the storm.

The green water.

Do you have anything like that?

No, I'm sorry.

Do you have anything, animals eating trash after the storm?

No, I'm sorry.

Do you have any pictures of...

I'm sorry, I've got to hang up.

You don't have to hang up.

Wait a minute.

Let me open my checkbook here.

No.

Coconut porno.

I will send you a check.

You write it in the email.

Maybe that's not right to be talking about Katrina, you know.

What the fuck is up with this phone tonight, man?

Everybody's like, I can't hear you.

Oh, seriously.

I don't know.

You sound good here, but I don't know.

I've heard that before.

Yeah.

I don't know.

You need to do a test run and you call me and stuff because way back when you had your audio down too.

too so well this is the it's it's the phone and it's i'm using the i'm using an xbox communicator

to talk into the phone with so maybe that's what it is i don't know no you need to put a preamp on

it i don't know maybe it's just the lung that's no one no one's calling if someone were calling

it would sound like that but nobody wants to join the show tonight apparently so anyway that number

The number is 888-278-8509.

Once again, that's 888-278-8509.

Yeah, baby.

Yeah.

All right, let's see what else we got here.

Grandma's Coffeehouse.

Just Cruisin' Cafe, Mocha, Java Cafe.

They got a lot of coffee over there in Hawaii, I guess.

Well, that's what I'm calling it.

Yeah, they do.

Actually, they grow some really wonderful coffee there.

I get some here.

It's expensive as hell, but it's actually pretty smooth coffee.

What is it?

That Kona coffee comes from there, right?

Is that what it is?

Kona Gold.

Kona Island, right?

Yeah.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, they've got that Maui Waui.

They've got this really good stuff, the Maui Waui brand.

Yeah, baby.

That's good coffee right there.

Maui Waui, yeah.

Hey, you know what?

Have you ever tried making food with weed, like cooking food?

Oh, God.

Brownies, of course, are ever classic.

Cake is good.

Cake.

And another one I found out we used to do was pizza.

Pizza?

But anything, okay, here's the way it works.

Anything that kind of stays liquidy after it's cooked won't cook it all out.

So, you know, pizza's got the sauce on it.

Yeah.

Put it down inside your pizza in the sauce, and then it won't dry it out.

Same thing like a burner.

It don't dry out, you know.

The cake is the same way.

Well, what do you do?

So, okay, it's not like you order a pizza and you stuff.

No, no, no.

You make your own pizza.

Wow.

Yeah, like a Chef Boyardee or whatever.

And back in the day, you could get those really nice mushrooms, you know,

and just be really far out and just have an electric mushroom ganja pizza.

Yeah, that is big stuff here.

There are a lot of cow pastures here.

I know you being no man here.

I was just going to say, I miss Florida, man.

That was the shit, boy.

Oh, man, yeah.

Go out with your little plastic bags.

Oh, yeah, dressed in black.

I never did it, but Andy, who's normally in here,

here he couldn't make it tonight because of uh just uh you know the way life is and shit he

couldn't make it tonight but he said he'd be listening in he might be listening now big shout

out to andy hopefully he's on next week i think what do you think of andy he works out pretty

good i like him he's good to play off of here and he's pretty cool yeah he's funny as shit

but he he has stories of going out shrooming as they call it out here to like pastors and stuff

and yeah there's a lot of people who got shot by farmers like you know they were going out at night

Because what would happen, these people...

I don't know what the big deal is, man.

I mean, it's natural stuff.

I mean, I don't understand why.

I know someone who told me that they were...

I guess since they can't tax it, that's the deal.

Well, no, I know someone who was out,

who told me they were out once with somebody,

like a friend of theirs, getting shrooms,

and the guy literally, in the middle of the field,

took a mushroom out of cow shit and ate it right there in front of him.

Like, just straight up, like, right there.

there, just devoured it right in front with cow shit all over it, and that's when he was

like, okay, I am never doing this again, and he said it was really, really nasty, so.

Please enter, 59 seconds, hello, hello dear, how are you, I'm good, how are you, oh, I'm

not so good, I've confused my medicine here, I dropped the pills, and the yellows, and

and the blues, and the reds, and the whites are all mixed together.

I don't know.

I just took about four of the blues, and I think the blues are the downers.

So I took the yellow ones and tried to counteract,

and now I just feel like I'm running around in circles now.

Hello?

Is this?

This is Emmett.

Is who?

Emmett Brown.

What can I do for you?

Well, uh, coffee now, that's a good antioxidant, right?

Coffee?

Yes.

I have no idea.

Uh, how hot is your coffee there?

How hot is it?

Yes.

It's hot.

How hot? How hot does it get there?

Is it just me, or is this conversation getting on, or...

This?

The blues or the Viagra.

I guess you need lots of those, don't you?

you. Could you help me out? Well, I'm kind of busy right now. Well, I'm kind of busy

too, if you know what I mean. Okay, we're going to have to call back later, is that

all right? Can you pour the coffee on my penis? Would you mind? I would mind, yes,

I would. What would you like? I have to go, sir. Goodbye. That was good. All right, good.

But, ha, nice little turnaround.

Isn't that nice?

What did you think, Athena?

Normally, this is the time where I go, what did you think about that, Milkman?

But Milkman isn't paying attention.

But I just got confirmation he's back on.

He just rebooted.

Milkman will be right back on in just a second.

I guess he's not on right now.

Let me send him a message right quick while I give out the toll-free line.

That is 888-278-8509.

Once again, that is 1-888-278-8509.

Everybody out there, feel free to call in and talk to me.

I can put you on the air.

You can do a prank call.

Or we can just shoot the shit for a little bit.

It's a free call.

By all means, feel free to call in.

I haven't had one caller yet tonight.

So, you can be the first.

And you might win a prize.

You might win a prize.

How could you pass that up?

Anyway, Milkman, do not update.

Do not update your shits.

She was very hyper.

DTT with the comment that she was hyper.

Yeah, she was a little excited by that.

God, pouring coffee on my penis, that would just be bad.

Hot, hot coffee.

Maybe iced coffee, that might be nice.

As soon as Milkman gets on, I'm trying to wait for him to get in before I do another call,

so he doesn't end up jumping in in the middle of a call and ruining the show.

He wouldn't ruin the show, I'm kidding.

Okay, let's see here.

Club Sandy in Honolulu, a woman answered at 10.38 p.m., three minutes ago.

go. Let's try that. Nice fresh number. I'm making that noise in my mouth as I was eating

pistachios. I think I'm out of them now. Whoa. I just almost spilled water everywhere. Milkman

tells me he is on. I can't be found. Okay, we're going to have to shut down Gizmo and

restart that. Bear with me, everybody. We're trying to get Milkman back on the line before

I do my next call. Hello, Club Sandy? Hello, ma'am. Is this Club Sandy? Yes. May I speak

Speak to Sandy, please.

Oh, I'm sorry, Sandy, not here.

Who is it?

Oh, you tell me first.

Huh?

You tell me first.

Who is this?

Oh, Sandy, be here like 8 o'clock.

8 o'clock?

Yeah.

Who is this?

Who am I speaking to?

Bitch.

Hang up the phone.

I'll keep Milkman on until he can respond.

For some reason, it's not working tonight.

Well, we have a caller, and that would be my house.

That would be my parents, and I'm not going to talk to them.

Because last time I tried to put my mom in the air, she went absolutely apeshit on me

and yelled at me, blocking my house.

You got to love a nice cigar.

cigar, huh, Athena? You don't like cigars. Have you ever smoked a cigar, Athena? What

kind of cigar did you smoke? A black and mild? One of mine? Whose black and mild have you

been smoking? You bought black and milds. You wouldn't lie to me, right? Hmm, I think

she had relations with somebody. Who the fuck is Not Carlito? What the fuck is up with that?

Is it Not Carlito in the chat room? Um, okay, Sane is coming in saying that so-and-so is

on the air with a live call-in number of blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah. Yeah,

Yeah, see, I wish I could call him, but I am under orders by my superiors here at PCU

not to call that gentleman anymore because we don't want to be promoting him.

I've called him a few times, but I guess the bottom line is he's had some really bad beef with KDK in the past.

He's had some beef in the past with KDK, so he doesn't want to instigate.

If he's not talking shit about us or him, he doesn't want to give him a reason to.

And I want to give a shout-out to Sean Ward.

Apparently, Sean Ward is listening, and he's in the chat room as not Carlito.

What a smooth character.

That's awesome, man.

Sean Ward.

Sean Ward is a man.

I wish he'd call in.

Let me get that number out again.

It's 888-278-8509.

Once again, that's 888-278-8509.

That toll-free line is open for you, Sean Ward, or anybody else here who wants to call,

do a prank call, or just talk.

By all means, do so.

As a matter of fact, the listeners are up.

I'm not doing too shabby listener-wise right now, despite the type of show I'm having.

You know what, I just had a horrible shit day today at work.

I got fucking yelled, not to get yelled at, but I got called in a meeting about my attitude,

because apparently my attitude is taking a step down.

I didn't tell you about this, did I?

You're asking what my problems are, you know.

They pulled me in an office to complain about me, and then asked me what my problems are.

So I presented with a 28 checklist that I've come up with of problems that I have with a place,

and now they want to have a meeting.

I don't know.

I'm just bullshitting it, but I had a shitty day at work, and I wish I didn't have to work.

I wish I could just go to school like some other people.

That's really good.

That's my dream is it would be right now in my life just not to have to fucking work or

nothing, just fucking go to college and get a degree and just not fucking, ah, man.

Anyway, let me try to get Milkman.

Are you there?

Can you hear me yet?

Hello, hello, hello.

Milkman, Milkman.

Let's try him once again here.

Athena, someone's coming on me in the chat room.

You going to let them do that?

Yes, you're...

Milkman, it sounds like you're peeing.

Jesus.

Okay.

Jesus, Jesus.

Milkman, try to restart your gizmo.

I'm going to have to give up and put you on the air.

That sucks because I hate being on.

I'm so used to not being alone on the air anymore.

It's just so scary.

You can see by the quality of the show tonight.

Okay, anyway, let's keep trying here.

We got an escort.

And, you know, I should call Club Sandy back.

That bitch hung up on me.

That was very rude of her, that woman.

Anyway, hang on, guys.

We're going to do another call here in just a second.

It'll be on in just a second.

But for the time being, just hang on, listen to the song, and I'll be back as soon as possible with that.

It is now 10.50.

You're listening to The Madhouse on PCU.

Hello?

Hello.

Yes, what do you want, honey?

What are you looking for?

Well, look, I called in earlier.

I needed you to sit down there, but I asked who are you, and you hung up on me.

Why?

Oh, not me, not me.

Plenty of people work here.

That's not me.

First time I hear your voice now.

I don't know.

You wouldn't lie to me, would you?

First time I hear your voice now.

You, you, this is the first time you hear my voice?

Yes.

You wouldn't, you wouldn't lie to me, would you?

What you looking for?

I'm looking to come in and have a good time, you know.

Oh, no, no, no, no, we don't do that.

I'm not looking for that.

We don't do that.

That's why somebody hang, hang, hang, hang up on you.

Hang, hang, hang?

Okay.

Well, no, I need, if Sandy's not there, I need to talk to someone else.

I need, I'm supposed to deliver this.

Oh, you want something and you come over here.

I have a delivery to make, but I need, I need to speak regarding the rate for it.

And if she's not there, you need to please take my message.

This is urgent.

This stuff is going to spoil out here.

Oh, you want to mess up and give me the phone number that I tell her to call you?

Well, I need your name.

I keep asking you for your name, you stupid.

Let me talk to someone else.

Please.

Huh.

Go play.

I didn't say that.

What do you want?

She's lying.

I didn't say that.

That is not what I said.

That woman is a liar.

Well, look, I have, first of all, Sandy told me to call because I went in there and I had a huge, a horrible experience.

She told me to call right now.

She told me to call and get it straightened out.

She was going to get me the rebate.

I call now, and this woman is here, and she's saying that I'm talking, what, that I want to have a good time?

What is that supposed to mean?

What kind of sick, joke, perverted people woman is that?

Explain yourself, I said.

Talk to me.

God, I know you're there, damn it.

Fucking talking to you.

I thought you were just going to leave me on hold.

Hello?

Yeah, what is going on? Why are you not talking to me?

Okay.

What's the big fucking problem?

What you looking for?

I told you, I need the rebate. I came in, I got bad service. Sandy told me to call now and talk to her.

Okay, you want to talk to Sandy, right?

Well, she's not there.

Listen, I don't care what you say.

She told me to get the name of the person who answers the phone.

That's all I'm trying to do.

What's your big problem? Why can't you do that?

We don't know you. We don't give you the name, okay?

I know Sandy's name.

You know me.

You know Sandy's name.

You talk to Sandy.

You wait for 8 o'clock.

You call to Sandy.

Sandy's the owner.

I don't know you.

I don't give you my name.

Don't you dare yell at me.

Do you need a translator?

I don't yell at you.

I talk to you like that.

I don't yell at you.

Do you need a...

Oh, now you're talking nice.

Now you're talking good.

That's how...

Oh, you look like crazy people.

I don't want to talk no more, okay?

Yell, yell, yell, yell, bitch.

Yell.

You stupid fucking bitch.

God damn it.

Why does she got to be so angry for?

She hates America is what it is.

She hates being American.

She's ashamed of being American is what her problem is.

God damn it.

Athena, you couldn't hear that, could you?

I'm never going to fly into assholes there, man.

Holy shit.

You know what?

I bet you what I know.

I bet you what I know what is the problem.

The problem is...

Hang on.

Okay.

Let me go back to the chat room.

Lonesome is giving me some new numbers, which is good.

What else is going on?

Excuse

me, exotic dreams,

exotic island escorts, exotic room service, wow, exotic room service, let's give them

a call, yeah, alright, here comes another call, coming at you everybody, you're gonna

We'll be right back in a second.

It is now 1056 Eastern.

You're listening to The Madhouse on PCU Radio.

Silent as the room service, please.

Yeah, it sounds like I can hardly hear you.

Hang on.

Do you want to give me your landline number?

What's your landline number?

I'm on the landline now, dear.

Okay, what is it?

What's your room number?

Yeah, 214.

And which hotel was that?

Look, let me just ask you real quick.

First of all...

I can't talk on this phone line.

If you give me the room number and the last name, I can call you.

Why don't you shut the hell up?

Fuck you!

Fuck you, fucking piece of shit!

Fuck you, you stupid bitch whore.

Please enter your destination number now.

Oh my god.

You should have heard the words that came out of that woman's mouth.

She just yelled at the top of her lungs, fuck you, you fucking piece of shit.

I mean, like, she was tormented.

What the hell is wrong with that woman?

Oh my god.

Some exotic room service.

I was going to tell her I needed help cleaning my hotel room.

I had blood in it, and she fucking had to do that.

I had a whole fucking thing set up and shit.

Nobody wants to cooperate with me tonight.

Everybody just wants to be negative to the Madhouse, man.

Nobody wants to play.

You've just been listening to a sample of the Madhouse.

If you like what you hear, be sure to listen in every Thursday night at 9.15 p.m. on PCU Radio,

your number one source for live and recorded prank calls.

For more information, visit MadHouseLive.com or KDKPrankCalls.com.

It's an exclusive of PCU Radio and MadHouseLive.com.

Hey, what's going on?

Well, check it out, man.

I'm over here and I'm looking for an escort.

What can you do for me?

Talk to me.

What kind of cows you got there or not?

Where are you located and I can have someone return your call?

What do you mean return my call?

What the hell are you doing in there, tough guy?

Come on.

Why don't you get to work?

Hey, look, motherfucker, if you want shit to work, it's kind of simple with all the less drama.

What you do is you leave your name and number, a lady returns your call,

you make arrangements directly with the lady.

Why don't you kiss my ass and put your boss on the line?

You know, I'm just in too bad of a mood to do prank calls tonight, I think,

because I don't even want fucking lit from anybody.

God damn it.

Jesus Christ.

What's going on here?

Hotspot video in Wailuku, Hawaii, confirmed about two minutes ago.

All right, let me see what's going on over here.

Nothing's going on over there.

Everybody, bear with me.

We're still trying to get everything working out here.

Once again, the toll-free line is 888-278-8509.

Excuse me.

Once again, that's 888-278-8509.

You can call and be live on the air, on PC Radio, on the Madhouse, by all means.

Please do.

Other than that, let me also include the other shows that are on tomorrow night at 10 p.m.

Zolar will be on with his show, Zolar Vision.

I'm not sure if Prankmaster will be on, but Zolar always does a good show.

Ain't that right, Athena?

You listened last week, right?

KDK will be on the air Saturday night at 10 p.m.

with the Lunatic Fringe.

Sunday nights, Sean Ward starts at 9 p.m.

with his Peanut Punch Radio.

That's 9 p.m. on Sunday nights.

Monday nights at 8 o'clock,

you have Billy Mira from Howard Stern fame.

He also does a show.

Again, that's Monday nights at 8 p.m.

And a big thanks to Billy Mira and Dr. Lego

who are graciously at this time

providing a server space for PCU.

and

nothing on Tuesday night

for the time being, Wednesday nights

at 10 o'clock, KDK returns

live with Psychobabble

which is a less low

it's a more low key show

lower key show, no prank calls per se

but it's a pretty good talk

and good comedy and just good conversation

I really like every single

show that's on here to be honest, I listen to all the shows

on PCU and they're all good

so if you like my show or if you

If you'd like any of the other shows, by all means, be sure to listen to the other ones, spread the word.

Speaking of spreading the word, you'd want to be sure to spread the podcast file, which is going around now.

Let me take this call real quick here.

You're on the madhouse.

How fat are you ladies?

We got 500 pounders.

And under.

What's your problem with fat girls?

I'm not talking about under.

Yeah, fat girls are okay and all, but I like to cover them in white talcum powder while I fuck them up.

Yeah, well, you just roll around until you find the worst one, because you know what I like.

Yeah, you find the one...

Never mind, I'm not going to get that nasty into it.

Anyway.

Don't go around there.

You're going to end up with that funny looking lip.

Who is this?

This is Milkman.

Hello, I'm Milkman.

What's going on with the toll line?

It's not working for you?

Gizmo's dead?

Is that what the official deal is?

No, I didn't take the update.

Everybody took the update.

I was on all day.

so you got through

in the toll free

what happened

how'd you get

you got through

in the toll free

I had to use

my caller calling

card to call

your toll free

oh shit dude

this is

it's crazy man

that's crazy

I'll get the

I'll tell the

KDK

I don't know

they just called

me with the pills

oh my god

if anything

good's gonna come out

who the hell

was that

she was cussing

and shit

she

I don't know

I think she's

having a bad day

just like I did

today man

I don't know

that wasn't

that crazy bitch

we called

the escort

hello

was there

Nautica

I played part of that.

I didn't play the portions where she was just talking,

but I played the portions where she actually acknowledged me.

Yeah, man, she was playing pimp out all night, and that was so nice.

Yeah, she was.

We ought to call her, man.

For sure.

Hey, Milkman, what do you know about podcasting, bro?

What do I think about podcasting?

I think it's a new trend, and a lot of people are doing it now.

Yeah.

And everybody's getting iPods.

Like I said, that's why I'm interested in it,

because when I was talking to all these different people on Gizmo,

of, it was like, oh, you do a show?

What's your podcast? How can I get your

podcast? And I said, well, we do a live

show. Well, let me get your podcast.

I can't listen. I've got to listen at work

and my TV's going live.

All right, well, as soon as I get the podcast

in, I will give you the number.

I've been looking into it. I think it's definitely

a thing that's got to happen.

If ADK's got it going on, then I am more

than happy. Yeah, well, I've been looking into it.

I think we could do it on... I think I could do it

because, you know, mine would be

be more small-scale, not a lot of people

would be hitting it as KDK

would have. Well, the thing is that, you know,

what I've been looking into, okay,

you can have it for whatever

place you're going to keep it. I'm sure

some new programs like those.

I've got another one that I just

read about in my computer magazine.

There's different ways to go about it. The main thing

is getting the RSV work right.

Yeah, when I get a chance, I'm going to try out

the podcasting stuff that

apparently the new winner does.

Yeah, man. And, you know, that promo you sent me

The other night, it got clipped.

I only got part of it.

I don't know if it didn't all get recorded, but there's a chance.

Well, that's just the new intros and outros that I have for prank calls.

That's all I meant to send to you.

Okay.

Yeah, so you got all we heard.

All I got was one.

That's shitty.

Yeah, that transfer didn't come through.

Well, hey.

Sure.

By the way, another time.

Yeah.

So, hopefully, I don't know.

Are you going to be able to get back on the air with me, or what do you think is going on?

I just feel it's still in the update now.

Okay.

It just passed my firewall, and it's asking me to go through it now.

All right, well, I'm on.

I'm on, so once you jump on, get in there, and we'll get you back on.

You have to call me, because whatever reason.

Okay, all right, I'll call you.

Once I see you on, I'll call you.

I'm going to be on until you talk.

All right, man.

All right, cool.

You got it, man.

Peace.

Thanks a lot.

All right, man.

All right, peace.

Milkman, everybody.

Milkman calling in by phone.

Normally the co-host of the show

But with all the problems

That we're having tonight

Everything is not working smoothly

With my disconnects and phone issues

And quality of the calls and stuff

But if you would like to call in

Please do

1-888-278-8509

Once again that's

1-888-278-8509

And you can call in

To an end of the show

I've given out that number so much tonight

I still don't know what to call

I see Joop's on

on. We were talking about Joop earlier. It's good to see Joop. Funny guy. And he's off.

Never care. Let me see what else I'm getting here for calls. Hotspot video, intimate in

call. Those escorts don't play to block numbers, I guess. I don't know what that's all about.

But we can try Hotspot video for sure. For sure, for sure, for sure. And we're going

to try Milkman one last time here for the night. See if I can get him connected. I keep

saying the last time we're going to try and I keep trying to gravitate to getting

him back on so you're if he shows up and then um try a few more calls i'm hearing you it was the

update the update fuck things up don't worry let's let's take it easy let's take it easy okay let me

let me try the prank call here dude now that i have you on the line okay uh everybody it's 11 14

we're gonna try to call hotspot video and wailuku hawaii see if i can get something going on with

them if not um i don't know look what do you think about tonight so you think i'm thinking

about calling it quits pretty soon if you know it's just you know sometimes these shows happen

we had two weeks ago this happened you know last the last two shows have been really good but

show before that was a really crappy one well you know i don't know man just something was just

going whack today i was on fur man i was on and the update didn't come all day and a couple people

said update and then i until i get on the damn show you know actually the easiest thing i was

doing today okay well hey hang on are you able to hear me now yeah you're breaking up a lot

But you're coming in.

I can discern you.

At least I can make you out of here.

Okay, hang on.

Well, you hang on the line.

I'll be right back, everybody, with another call.

All right.

It is now 11.15, and you are listening to the Madhouse.

Just one moment, please.

Super.

You have $2.38 for 1.35 minutes, 23 seconds.

The dead is telling me to call the super.

Oh, we got a crappy connection.

You better read that one, because it's going to sound like hell.

Jesus Christ, what a crappy night, man.

I can't even get the connections right.

Yeah, I'm going to have to redial that one.

God dang it.

I don't know.

This is not working out.

I think it's him during Hawaiian Cods over there pissing on our phone calls.

What the hell is wrong with them?

Yeah, they're ruining what is normally a good show.

Hey, everybody, kdkprankcalls.com is the homepage for PCU Radio,

and it's also the page for the chat room link.

If you'd like to join us, if you're listening and not in chat, by all means, jump on in.

kdkprankcalls.com

Also at

kdkprankcalls.com

forward slash podcast

dot xml

That is KDK's new podcast.

Definitely

be checking that out as soon as I get off of here.

And see

what happens with that. Hey, Milkman.

Hey, Milkman, you're coming in pretty good, too.

Sound good. Milkman, hello.

It's gone. What? Not again.

What's this 30 seconds?

30 seconds?

I don't know what's going on here.

Guys, let's try one more prank call here,

and I'll make an executive decision whether to take a break

and try another half hour or if we're going to call it a night

because it's not working very well tonight, guys.

I'm so sorry.

I usually have a great time at the madhouse.

What happened?

Athena, no.

It's overheating.

Your computer's going to fry.

You can't put it on.

Well, I'd take a break.

You think so?

Yeah.

I think I could.

I'll go over by the cat box and come right back and

Are you start playing gizmo while I'm while I'm while I'm doing that just a couple minutes and but I'm our song I play

Everybody give me a chair

Breaking back in the part

We can't I can't anything big man. We can't understand you at all

Okay, I'm gonna restart my gizmo. I'm gonna take a break

All right, let's do that.

All right, man.

Well, let's call a timeout again and take a break.

And I'm going to try once again to get everything working okay.

Hopefully it does.

If not, guys, don't be mad, but I'll call it a night because I just don't want to sink things.

Bear with me here.

I'm going to try one more time.

It is now 1119, and we'll be back in the madhouse right after this.

I'm really in a fucking deep shit right now.

Why?

Because my car just fucking broke down.

Your car just broke down?

Yeah, it's like a shitty-ass car, man.

It's got 150,000 miles on it.

Like mine, right, okay.

Yeah, my car does, too.

I've got 150,000 of mine, too.

So what happened?

What kind of breakdown did you have?

Toyota Camry, 93.

93 Camry?

Okay, well, like, okay, so you're broken down right now.

Yeah, like, I'm sitting right now waiting for AAA to come.

Holy shit, dude.

So what happened?

What, it started sputtering or just didn't start again?

No, no, what happened was, I got that, uh, check your engine light, and I was driving, figured I'd be home in a couple minutes anyways, but, like, I don't know, maybe about five minutes, get a fluid.

The pipe that holds the radiator fluid.

No, there's two pipes, from the radiator, one that brings the radiator fluid through the engine, and the one that brings the radiator fluid back into the radiator.

Yeah, okay, yeah, I know what you're talking about.

So, one of them popped and exploded.

loaded oh that happened to me like that's no big deal you can get that replaced you can actually

is it bad if it's not too bad you can actually buy the tape and seal it real quick i can't hear

you you can't hear me oh shit hang on no shit hey um oh yeah i've had that happening before um

how bad is it how bad is the pop uh pretty bad it's like almost cracked all the way down

oh never mind then yeah i mean i could stop the engine but then it just shuts off it just shuts

off it's probably just overheating dude i think yeah this car's like it automatically overheats

Check out the travel plans, check out sex,

throw it out and get a new car.

Shit, dude, yeah.

Well, you know, it might be just something to do.

The reason why I called was because I wanted to know

what's going on until tonight.

Until tonight.

The show, actually, the show hasn't been that good.

We're having technical problems,

and I got a hurricane sitting off of here,

so I don't know if that's affecting,

but let's just say the show hasn't been that good,

and I'm thinking about, I was in the middle of a break,

and I'm going to come back,

and I'm going to try a few more calls,

Wow, did you get any good numbers?

Yeah, the good numbers, yeah, well, we're getting some good numbers, but I'm just, I don't know, I had a rough day today, and, like I said, I've been disconnected twice already, and people, you know, sometimes you get good numbers, but you just can't get people to cooperate, it's kind of one of those things.

Well, that's why you gotta wait until I get, wait until, that's why I was great, wait until I get there, so I got a shitload of fucking 24-7 numbers, I got, like, maybe about a list of 100, 800 different numbers.

Well, how long is it gonna take you to get home, then?

I've got a 24-7 in, like, different states and shit.

When are you going to be home, then?

What's up with that?

Ah, maybe I'll be home within, like, less than 30 minutes.

That's a good one.

All right, well, we'll see.

If I can keep things going, then I'll definitely be here.

We'll try to rejuvenate the show.

Hey, real quick before I let you go, real quick before I let you go, what's going on?

Are you going to be on Zola Ridge tomorrow or not?

What do people want to know?

I'm guessing I'm going to.

Okay, all right, all right.

Well, there's people we're asking in the chat room and stuff, so.

But, um, dude, make sure you say save, you know, like, save palace.

Yeah, save Frank Master.

Exactly.

Yeah, I don't know.

Don't worry about it, man.

It'll be okay.

You're a valuable asset to PCU and everything.

Yeah, I figure you're just going to be fine.

All right, man?

Yeah.

I'll accept.

All right, man.

Well, good luck with the car.

All right, thank you.

Hopefully I'll be able to talk to you or see you or whatever, like, in a couple of minutes or so.

Okay, good deal.

Hopefully a little while.

All right.

All right, man, I'll see you then.

All right, yo, if you do log off, you want to do a couple calls or no?

I might be up for that.

Just get with me afterwards, and I'll watch you.

All right, cool.

All right, man.

All right, talk to you later.

All right, later.

All right, that's Prankmaster, everybody.

Reporting, and I guess you guys' problem is his radiator.

But you heard it from him.

He's expected to be on Zolar tomorrow night.

So for those of you who have been following the drama in the forums about him being fired from the show,

maybe it's not going to be during tomorrow.

All right.

Okay, well, let's continue the break.

I just thought I'd put him on because, I don't know,

I was excited to have a caller finally.

But thank you for calling Pragmaster.

And anybody else who wants to call, you can call at 888-278-8509.

That's what I was going to say.

I'll be right back after this.

Hang on here, everybody.

How you doing?

I'm calling in to try to help you feel better because I know how it feels.

Oh, man, what a shit night, man.

It's crazy.

It all started at 6 a.m. today.

day. That's all I got to say. You know what I mean? What happened at 6 a.m. today? I woke

up. Your alarm went off late. I woke up alive. Holy shit, man. So what's up with you? How

have you been, KDK? I'm fabulous. I'm just sitting here listening and you're bringing

everybody down. I'm bringing people down now. Oh, God. Yeah, because you're so down it's

contagious. I got to remember this from when I'm down. I didn't realize that when I'm down

I'm bringing everybody else down. Now you know what it's like. Now you know you have

have to quit when you're ahead, I guess, right?

You know, you need to do a couple lines of coke

and let's do some pranks.

Yeah, exactly. I need to do pranks. This is exactly

what I've got to do, man. I've got to, I don't know.

It's just not, I don't know, it's not working out

tonight. It's, like, anyway,

I've got to be more positive. I'm going to lose my listeners.

What the hell, right? Jesus.

Yeah. Anyway, um...

Do you have some numbers to call?

I've got some. Are they sending in any numbers for you

to use? All I'm getting, you know, Lonesome

is always coming through with his stuff, but they're all, um,

like, escrow places, and I think these people

was just a little

pissy tonight or

something.

I don't know

what's going on

in Hawaii.

They're all what?

They're all pissy

or something.

They all, I

don't know, I

called one lady

and she almost

had an epileptic,

not an epileptic,

she almost had

a nervous breakdown

on the phone.

She's like,

fuck you.

She had a

hippie fit.

Yeah, she

went crazy, so

I felt, bless

you, bless you.

I kind of felt

bad, you know,

I don't know.

Well, you better

not leave early

because I'm

drinking tonight

and I'm expecting

you to entertain

me at least

until Prank

Master gets

home.

Exactly.

The pipe master's exaggerating.

You know, he's talking about having a little hose in his radiator.

He can fix that with scotch tape.

Yeah, I was trying to tell him about the tape.

I mean, I've done it before.

That happened to me before, where all I had was scotch tape in the car,

so I taped over a little hole that had, like, burned through the radiator hose because of the heat.

Yeah.

And it turns out I never even replaced the hose,

and I never even got, like, real tape to put over it because the scotch tape works so well.

Oh, wow.

I was afraid to fuck with it.

Oh, hell yeah.

You see, if it's working, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Right, exactly.

He might have to, like, I don't know.

I don't know.

I haven't talked to him that long, but I don't know.

Anyways, KDK, would you like to do a call, man?

I would love to do a call.

Awesome.

Okay.

Do you have any numbers out there, or would you like me to start spitting stuff out for you?

Oh, I don't have any numbers.

All the only numbers I have are for Kevin and Tina.

If you wanted to call up Fat Tina and Crazy Tina and Fat Kevin.

Should I know them?

Or Three Brothers Dieter.

Yeah, Tina and Kevin were on the show like two Saturdays ago.

Oh, okay.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They ruined the show two Saturdays ago.

The Zolar called them like five times last week.

It was pretty funny.

Oh, yeah?

Okay, all right, cool.

Were you listening to Zolar last Friday?

I listened to about half the show.

I had to leave for some of it, but I heard some of it.

Yeah, he kept calling them, and they were cursing him out and everything.

Holy shit.

If you were to call them, I wouldn't be able to speak.

Okay, yeah.

Well, I'm trying to get you as a guest caller or something.

I had to put you on the spot.

If you don't mind, by all means.

No, sure.

All right, cool.

Hey, what about Giovanni's Tomato Pie Restaurant in Hawaii?

Do you have a person?

Person.

Or just, like, businesses?

Right now, that's the whole thing.

I don't have any people.

I have businesses is all I have so far.

Okay, just call anybody.

Okay, well, let's do that.

All right, well, you okay with this tomato pie or tomato pie restaurant?

I don't know.

Well, don't even tell me.

Just put me on the spot, and I'll pull something out of my ass if I can.

Okay, well, let's do it.

All right, KDK.

Everybody, hang on.

We're going to get this call going with KDK guest caller.

Thank you very much.

I appreciate it, by the way.

Just one moment, everybody.

It is now 11.31, and you're listening to the...

Hey!

Hey.

I think I might have accidentally hung up on you,

because I was trying to figure out how to raise the volume on the earpiece here,

because I can hardly hear you.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

That was you.

Yeah.

That was definitely you.

Yeah.

I think I accidentally hung up.

Oh, okay.

All right.

We'll get it back on.

Hang on.

Okay.

One hour, thirty-five minutes, twenty-three seconds.

You there?

Yeah, I'm here.

Awesome.

Finally.

Goodbye.

Hey, calling because I have a cousin who recently came to visit from Cuba, and he wants to stay, but he needs a job.

So I want to know if you guys are hiring or anything.

No, not that I know of.

You don't need like a dishwasher or somebody at the bus tables or something like that?

Not that I know of.

Well, can you ask around?

Okay.

I'm sure a place like that, you're probably losing people, like, left and right all the time.

No, no.

Well, he speaks very fluent Spanish, in case you have a lot of Spanish clientele.

Okay, thank you.

Well, I'll send him down to...

What a bitch.

Yeah, what a jerk.

You see what I mean?

I'm going to do a really good Spanish accent, right?

Yeah, yeah.

Because I was going to ask you to come in and say,

my cousin's on the line, and then put you through,

and have you act outrageous.

Yeah.

That's like Cuban refugee cousin.

I want to talk to a person, not a business.

Well, how about Richard Tush?

Okay.

Richard Tush, he's an old guy.

I love old guys, Katie.

I love the old people.

They're always so stupid.

God bless the old people, man.

Without them, we wouldn't have them.

Right.

All right, Katie Kay, thank you for helping me out.

We're going to get you back on another call.

Thank you very much.

Okay.

All right, everybody.

It's 11.35.

We're back on another call in just one minute.

Please

enter your authorization code.

$2.34.

Please enter your destination number.

54 minutes, 29 seconds.

Yep, Richard too.

I don't remember seeing that anywhere, but that's... I'm married.

Well, this is the number that was in the paper.

Maybe somebody else is playing a game on you, putting your number in the paper.

You're looking for a date.

Nope. Been married over a year.

Well, listen, back in my day, I used to be quite the swinger.

Maybe you bring her along.

I already hear you.

Let's all go out for coffee.

Hello.

How are you doing, dear?

Mrs. Tosh.

How are you doing, Mrs. Rosenthal?

I'm a throat cancer lady.

I've probably seen you at the supermarket.

Absolutely.

And I'm calling because I saw your swingers ad in the paper.

Oh, you got the wrong swingers.

You're not into swinging anymore.

It's the voice, isn't it?

No, we were never into swinging.

It's the voice, isn't it?

Bye.

Don't call again.

It's because of the throat cancer, but I tell you, I have an excellent body for an 87-year-old.

Every day of my life, and nothing has drooped.

Nice.

Oh, well, that sucked.

No, that didn't suck.

That was actually kind of funny, because the guy was just like...

Yeah, you know, I was like two seconds away.

I was less than a second away from hanging out

until she got on the line, so...

Yeah.

So, hey, I liked it.

Very good.

And you know what?

I'm getting a lot of home numbers now, so...

Oh, you are?

Cool.

Yeah, so I'm going to start...

Oh, we got an Arab lady.

Oh, I love calling Arab women.

That's for sure.

Arab lady.

Call an Arab lady,

and you stand up this time

and call me in whenever you want.

Okay, let's do that.

All right.

I'll do the gay guy,

because Arabs think all gays ought to be killed.

Yeah, well...

They don't really aggravate her.

Yeah, they think everybody should be killed,

to be honest with you.

What?

I don't know.

girlfriend, you know my girlfriend is turning into

a Muslim sympathizer? Oh, really?

Yeah. Does she know that in Muslim

countries, they kill gay people?

Athena, did you

know in Muslim countries, they kill gay people?

She didn't know that. You see, she doesn't... They literally

do. They have public executions

of gay people. Of gay people, really?

Yep. Wow. That shows you.

Another reason why, reason number 507

why I hate Muslims.

Yeah, that's, well,

we hate Muslims. Alright. Hang on.

Alright, well, let me give

Give Nusrat a call here, and you'll stay in London, I guess, right?

Yeah, okay.

Awesome, awesome, awesome.

All right, everybody, we'll be right back with the next call.

It's 1139 Eastern, and you are listening to The Matter.

29 seconds, don't forget.

Hello, assalamu alaikum.

Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

Yes, hello.

Look, I have a small problem.

Huh?

Yes, hello.

I would like to let you know that there have been many Muslims who are lost in the aftermath of the storm.

And we would like to know if you would like to make a donation of burqas or if you have any hummus.

Hello.

Yes, we have a survivor here on the line.

This is a gay Muslim child who we have rescued from the rubble of the mosque in New Orleans.

Salam alaykum.

Likas salami.

Donate burqas and hummus.

No sense of humor, those people.

Oh, God.

When it comes to burkas and food, they just don't do it.

It's going to be a couple of years before people are ready to joke about Katrina, I imagine.

I guess so, yeah.

It's still too soon.

It's still going on.

There's still people dying.

Yeah, you know, maybe I should put a kill box on it.

People are just now figuring out, wait a minute,

New Orleans wasn't the only people where people are dying?

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, it's horrible, horrible news.

Let me ask you, so podcasting, what do you got planned with that?

How are you going to go about that?

What's your outlook on that?

Are you going to put some pranks on there?

What I'm going to do is, I don't know how to put multiple files into a podcast.

I'll figure that out eventually.

But for now, there's going to be a link on the front page for a podcast

that will link to the most current episode of KDK's Lunatic Fringe.

Okay, cool.

And then that's what I would like to encourage everybody to go submit around to podcasting sites

because the link will change, but the file name will remain the same.

Yeah.

I don't know if you heard that.

And then hopefully eventually, you know, for the different years of the show,

So I'll be able to figure out how to do a podcast with multiple file names

so that people can pick which ones they want to download

and even collect the entire history of the Lunatic Fringe if they want to.

That is so cool.

I would definitely love to get into that.

I don't know if you heard Milkman talking earlier,

but he says that a lot of people he's meeting,

they're asking him what PCU's podcast addresses are.

Well, PCU doesn't have a podcast.

Yeah, all right.

Everybody would have to have their own individual podcast for their own individual shows.

Oh, yeah.

Well, that's what I mean.

But I could very easily put a link for podcasts up on the PCU site for each individual show.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That wouldn't be much of anything.

If everybody wanted to do like I did and, you know, just date the one file every time you add a new show,

that way I wouldn't have to change the link.

Like, every time you're doing a new show, that would make it easier on me.

Yeah, exactly.

And I'm pretty good at keeping copies of my show up.

So I think that would be, I would definitely be interested in that, K2K.

That's a very good idea.

Well, I moved that thread to the layer of the elite.

You can go and read that whole thread about podcasting and figure out how to do it.

Right on.

Okay.

How to make your file and even a site that will help you make it

and a site that will help you test it and make sure it works.

Good deal, good deal.

Then it's as simple as just linking to that file.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, and there's tons of ways to download podcasts, right?

I mean, you can use, well, you've got WinApp, of course.

so I've already talked about that, but iTunes is pretty popular, actual iPod.

I haven't tested it yet, but I understand the new version of Winamp,

you can subscribe to and set to download regular podcasts like you can with other podcasting software.

I play with it less than it is really easy.

Like Doppler, that's a popular podcasting software that's free.

You can go to download.com and download Doppler.

I've installed it on my, I have Doppler, as a matter of fact, on my desktop, but I've never used it.

I have an RSS ticker that just shoots news at me all the time,

and I'll break in with breaking news sometimes on the show.

Right.

Well, once you get the podcast working,

all you've got to do is go around and submit it to all the sites like Podcast Bunker

and all the other sites where they have listings for all different podcasts that are available

so you can get the word out so people know about it.

Exactly.

And as soon as I get the other server,

we're scraping by by the skin of our teeth on what we're doing with the server now.

It's inevitable that I'm going to need another server,

so I'm going to go ahead and get one,

and then for the moment I'm going to just use that for podcast hosting.

That way I can have the files in a higher bitrate and stuff.

Exactly, and it'll progress to something else with time.

Because the shows lately, because we're on Technofrag,

I've been able to record them in stereo, full stereo.

Cool.

So I can have some really, really sweet-sounding podcasts

instead of the old 16K mono.

Gotcha.

Yeah, exactly, yeah.

So it's a lot better quality.

All right, good deal.

I like what you're thinking, man.

All right, well, hey, KDK, thank you for calling, as always.

And thank you for everything you do.

You're much appreciated, sir.

It's great.

Great time.

Peace out.

And you'll be on, sorry, let me plug you real quick.

You'll be on Saturday night at 10?

I'll be on Saturday night at 10, and I've got a whole pile of new KDK prank calls to premiere that night.

All right, awesome.

All right, well, I'll be there.

Okay, peace out, bro.

All right, have a good night, KDK.

Thank you for calling.

God bless.

And that was KDK, everybody.

Thank you very much, KDK, for calling in.

and join in in the Madhouse.

If you would like to do so as well,

you can call 1-888-278-8509.

Once again, that's 1-888-278-8509.

Guess what?

Man, Lonesome Loser is the man.

He's coming through with...

I know he pays good attention to the show

because I'll make a vague reference to something

And he'll already be confirming calls for people like that.

And here he is already hearing my conversation with KDK.

And I've got Islam R. Mula in L.A., Aino Laid, an old guy, Arloin Stoner, old lady, Hugh Cumming, Richard Cummer, and Marguerite Milky.

So I've got plenty of stuff to work with once I come back from this break, which I've been trying to take forever.

So I feel better

Right now

And guys just give me a little bit

I really have to go take a piss

So I'm going to be right back

And we're going to come back

With some several good prank calls

I promise you

Thank you for bearing with me tonight

And it looks like my connection problems have stabilized

So we're not going to have that trouble any longer

That's always good news

Anyway everybody as I said

I'll be right back in just a moment

It's 11.48 and you are listening to The Madhouse

on PCU Prank Calls Underground Radio.

Online, we have...

Who do we have?

Reclude.

What's up, Reclude?

Reclude.

Big Reclude.

Hello?

Hello.

What's up, man?

Not much, man.

How you doing, man?

Doing all right.

Just recovering.

Recovering?

Last fucking Friday,

Jeff the Drunk almost got my ass kicked.

Now, what happened?

You did a prank call with Jeff the Drunk

for your number?

Like, what, you three-way hit him?

No, I fucking, it was my goddamn fault.

Okay.

No, I just, I gave out a client's number, and I shouldn't have.

They recognized my ass and came over the next day.

Really?

I had to fucking pay back their recording time, and the guy threatened my ass.

He threatened your ass?

Yeah, he's a big motherfucker, too.

Yeah?

Big fucking recon dude.

Really?

Did he break anything?

What, no, he didn't do shit.

No?

Damn.

I mean, it was all, I mean, nothing happened.

I was just fucking, fucking, it was all for a day or so.

Holy shit

I can imagine man

Since shit like that happens man

So they

So they pretty much

Just tracked you down

Yeah yeah

In hindsight of it

It's hilarious

But that's like

Every prank caller's

Worst nightmare

Is what just happened to you man

For the most part

That had to be

The worst prank experience ever

Holy shit

But yeah like

Fucking

Of course

Jeff the drunk

Called

Started calling the guy out

And punking him out

And shit

Oh Jeff

Told the girl

That he wanted to give her

A and one shit

Oh my god

It was fucked up

and the guy got on the phone

and was like,

who the fuck is this?

Damn.

What the fuck he gonna do,

you little bitch?

You little bitch?

Oh my God, dude.

Did they get recorded at least?

I mean, did y'all record that?

Oh, I hope not.

I don't know.

It was...

Holy shit, man.

That sounds like

it must have been hilarious

at the time,

you know what I mean?

Oh, yeah, it was funny.

Then I got a call

like about fucking 2.30

after the show was over.

I'm just sitting there.

Yeah.

She just fucking called me out.

She's like, I don't...

It's like we kept on making...

And they just blonde once.

Aw, damn.

I didn't know what the fuck was, and I said who it was.

Oh, really?

Low and bold, they didn't disconnect.

Sure enough.

Oh, fuck, dude.

But it's cool.

Everything's, like, leveled out.

Oh, that's good.

I mean, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I imagine it's just because of shit.

Shit like that happens, man.

I don't know.

Oof.

Oof on me.

All right, well.

Anyway, so what's going on with you, man?

What else is up?

Shit, not much.

I just fucking had some mastering, mastering some shit.

R&B.

Yeah.

400 pound about shit.

Well, what do you mostly see?

What's the most popular genre you'd have to say?

Honestly, around here, it's just...

I mean, I get some decent once in a while.

We get some major label in every once in a while,

but once every couple of months, we'll get...

Exactly, right?

As long as you're paying the bills or nothing.

Oh, yeah, dude, it's just the work.

Plus, I can do my own music.

That's cool, man.

That's cool.

Yeah, man, I don't know.

I fucking hate work.

I don't know.

I had a horrible, horrible day at work today.

Oh, shit.

What do you do?

I work in an office with a bunch of people who are just, I don't know.

Fucking douches.

Douchebags.

Yeah, make the same mistakes over and over again, and just, you know, just compounding

on top of, you know, it all just falls back, although it always ends up falling back on

me somehow, some way, you know what I mean?

I gotta fix everybody's mess, and I'm just, you know, fucking tired of it, but I'm too

lazy to find another job, so, you know, I should, though, because it's stressing the

hell out of me, man.

No, it's, man, I was in the office job, I got, because I get bullied in my office to

be, you know, laughing, I'll be entertaining them, and I talk shit to some bitch and said

she looked like a fucking Bob Marley, ugly, she, I didn't get fired over that, though,

What I got fired of was because they fucked up my check,

and I called and cussed out the temp agency.

The temp agency that had you working there?

Because they were doing your check?

Holy shit, really?

Goddamn.

Because I told her, I said,

Dale, she emailed me and told me to call her.

I said, you're fired.

I said, you know what, you fucking bitch?

And I just chewed her out for like five minutes.

Oh, yeah, at that point.

She took it all.

Oh, at that point, yeah.

She took it all.

Loved it.

It felt good when you were done with that, huh?

Yeah, I mean, they love me at work.

I mean, I've built like a database.

I'm pretty good with computers,

is, but I just get bored. Right. So let's make some, like, I'm ready to get back into

the prank game. Okay. Just not with my own client's numbers. That's the one rule I broke.

All right. Well, hey, I got a bunch. I got a John Doody in San Francisco, California.

Oh, that's a good, let's give him a homo call. All right. All right. Cool. You want to go

ahead and take the reins on that one? I'll put you on, man. Yeah, we'll give it a try.

All right. Good deal. All right. Well, everybody, we're going to be back with Reclude prank

prank calling Mr. John Doody in San Francisco, California.

Let's see how close to the caster district this guy is.

All right, everybody, we'll be right back with the next prank call.

It is now 12.03 Eastern on Friday.

The weekend is finally here.

We'll be right back in just a moment on the Madhouse.

All right, a lot of prank call time.

Speak to John, please.

John's not here. This isn't the home.

This is now I'm talking. I want John.

I've been admiring him for a long time.

Can you get him on the phone, please?

Is this, oh, okay.

So is this his son or daughter?

Now listen, we're just trying to talk to John Doody.

Maybe I could talk to you about my problem.

I've just been a big admirer of him for a long time.

Hello.

I'm just looking for a John Doody.

My name is Francisco.

I'm just a big admirer of John's, and I want to meet him.

Really?

Yes.

I just like the clothes he wears, the way he walks.

I just want to meet him.

He's a wonderful person.

Is he?

Yes.

Can you help me with that?

The way that John came back?

Yeah, I just live over on Lombard Street.

You can tell him to see me there.

I take the number three trolley every day, and I see him around town sometimes.

Does John know you from?

You know, the club, the bar.

There's a little bar he goes to every once in a while.

It's not like the regular bar.

It's not exactly a straight bar.

But, well, you know.

You know old John.

Put me up.

0-1-23-24-6-7, the bar I call up.

Recently?

Have him give me a call.

Francisco, do you have a last name?

Yes, Jen S.

His name is J-O-H-N-S.

Okay, your last name is John, but you're looking for...

Well, I don't know exactly. I think it's D-O-O-D-Y, I believe.

I think that's what he told me.

Okay, I'll give him the message when I see him.

Okay, wonderful, honey. Thank you for being so supportive.

Hello.

You're welcome.

Hello, Mrs. Doody.

Hello, Mrs. Doody. Hello, how are you?

Good, this is Armando, and I'm here with Francisco. We're here together.

And I want to let you know that your husband has been a very big change in my life,

We make a special cake for Mr. Doody and he is very special to us. He come to the bar. He has taught us many, many, many things. Very giving, oh yes, I say. Very talented too. Yes. You are wife? No, no, I'm not his wife. I'm a very close relative.

Oh, very close, huh?

Very nice.

Mr. Doody has the testicles hang very low.

Hello, Mrs. Doody.

His testicles hang much lower than his penis does.

Is that a fact?

I thought you would know.

No, we're not pointed that way.

Well, why not?

Because.

Is he blood relation?

Yes, he is.

How close?

Very close.

Sister close?

So what is your name?

My name is Armando.

Armando.

Armando Perez.

And I am 18. And Mr. Doody was there for my commencement and everything. He tutored me. He helped me with math. And he's paying my tuition now.

He is?

Yes. And he found me the car.

He did what, I'm sorry?

The car, the car, you know, the vehicle.

He gave you a car?

He found it for me. He got me a good deal. I think he put money in for it, you know.

I think a used one.

A used car, yes. A used car.

Well, that was nice. I didn't know. He didn't tell me that.

Did you know how loving he is to me, Mrs. Doody?

Did you know how loving he is to us?

No, I really didn't know how loving he is to you.

Does it make you jealous?

I'm nothing against him.

Are you very jealous?

Don't want to spill up his business tonight.

No, actually, I'm not jealous.

Why are you so angry to me?

I'm not angry.

I'm very happy if he's happy.

You're talking down to me.

No, I'm not talking down to you.

You make me feel like dirt.

No, it's okay.

It's okay, Armando.

It's okay.

You make me feel like the sludge at the bottom of New Orleans.

Why would you feel that way?

Because I'm not happy with my...

I think he's still insecure. He's still young.

I'm not...

He's not totally out to his family yet.

I'm not happy with myself and I'm not very happy with my body.

Well, he's okay, though.

I mean, he's a little insecure.

I have, how do you say, the bird chest?

Oh, stop it, Armando. Stop that.

You know I have it.

No.

Yes, oh, Lord.

No, you're a wonderful person. Just don't beat yourself up over that.

Mrs. Doody.

But anyway, we just like that.

We give them a cake.

Mrs. Doody, Mrs. Doody, what color is your hair?

My hair?

Yes.

Brown.

And your eyes?

My eyes are very light blue.

Oh, light blue, but your hair is brown.

I see.

Well, Armando, you're too sensitive to talk right now.

When you're running, do people say you're running doody, like diarrhea?

That I'm what?

That you're running doody?

you would be

if you were running

down the street

would you be

Ronnie Doody

I guess I would be

so then I say

look is diarrhea

going down the street

I don't think

you're such a

dirty Mexican

dirty diarrhea

running down the street

is what I say

I see you running

you're such a dirty

Mexican Armando

stop that

how often do you run

making fun of those people

how often do you get

the runs Miss Hershey

sorry

how often do you get

the runs Miss Hershey

Miss Sheets

Miss Poopy

and so

when should I give him

this message is this an urgent message or yes well the cake is going to boil yes it's a tiramisu cake

we only have so many condoms you know white yes salt cream but down on lombard street is where

he's supposed to meet you or he's just no that's he knows he knows what we are club it's a bar

club bar we have the beds in the back too no one knows about do not tell please miss miss poopy

Of course, I would never tell

Miss Kaki

I'll give him this message

Okay, well, I appreciate you, ma'am

You're very, very kind

Miss Doody, do you look at yourself after you go?

Armando, do you know how to talk to somebody like a civilized human being?

Absolutely, that's absolutely wrong

I am not from

You should be ashamed of yourself, Armando

I'm not ashamed, I'm not from a civilized country originally

I see

Yes

Dirty, dirty wetback bastard

Yes, I am

And so do you guys make these kind of phone calls all the time just for fun?

All the time, you know, just we make it for fun.

It's something to do, but, you know, when you have last name Dudie, you know how it is.

Yeah, I grew up with it.

My last name is Farty. Farty.

So where is Dudie from? Is that Polish?

Yeah, it's Polish.

It is not. Be serious. What is it?

It's Polish.

Polish? Where in Poland?

Not

sure.

You do not know your race?

I didn't know all my relatives, so they didn't really tell me very much about my background.

Did you hear about the submarine, the Polish submarine?

No, and I'm not really interested in your jokes.

It had a screen door.

So this is your cell phone, 801-232-4368?

No, that is my house phone number.

That's your house phone number?

Yes, 801, you said 801?

No, that's my cell phone, you silly bastard.

No, that's my house now.

I don't like you making fun of me, you bastard.

Get out of my house.

So are you two lovers?

Listen, buddy, I'll hotwire your car and drive it away.

You will thrive, but you don't get far.

Are you two lovers?

Yes, yes, we are.

The three of us are lovers, you know, Mr. Doody, too.

Well, when he's drunk.

You know, if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have my fake visa.

So how long have you known John?

Oh, you know, since before the war.

Sorry I didn't hear you.

A few months.

Just a little more than a casual acquaintance, but he's touched us in a way.

Very deep, very deep.

Did I tell you about his testicles yet?

Yeah, you told me about them.

Oh.

Wonderful.

Very low, you know.

I'm sure it's a family trait.

Yes, I think so.

Now, do you doodies have lots of hair on your ass?

You don't have to answer that if you don't want to.

Don't hang up, please.

When you decide to speak to me with respect, then I will talk to you.

Francisco, talk to her.

I apologize.

I'm sorry.

No, your mother was a whore, Armando.

Don't you be mean to her.

She's a whore, too, you know.

Miss Doody.

Miss stupid Doody, bitch.

It's your doody, Miss Doody.

Why don't you jump back over the border, you little bastard?

Do your duty.

You ruined all my friends, all our acquaintances.

Well, just to let you know.

So, pretty much, are we done with this phone call, or?

Are you done?

Is there anything, Francisco, anything else I need to know?

I guess not.

Okay, well, we're going to go.

Is there any other message that you need to give John?

No, no, just tell John to please, you know, take care of his wife, keep it clean, you know.

Yeah, just tell him to call.

And call.

Call a lot.

You have a number there, right?

That's enough.

francisco okay okay francisco i can have him come over if i have an address i can give him

unless he knows where to oh no no no you're not going to try that you know not going to try what

you know you'll get the address and the next thing you know you you come in here uh to hurt

hurt hurt me and and you're gonna francisco no i don't think i would be bothered doing that

well he knows where to meet us and we we will can we can we come over no i don't think i bought

I bought a box of saltines, and Francisco has some cheese, cheddar cheese, mild.

Well, I'll have him give you a call.

Okay.

Very nice talking to you.

Very nice to you.

All right, thank you very much.

Sorry about my little bastard friend.

Bye, Dodie.

That's all right.

Bye, Dodie.

Bye.

Bye-bye.

That was weird.

What the hell?

You see, that's another person who's probably used to getting prank calls.

Oh, my God.

She would like to handle it like a...

Yeah.

Yeah, and she says, are you going to speak like a member of society?

Is that what she said?

It's like, what are you, like, refraining you, you dumb bitch.

Yeah, and she's like, let me speak to Francisco.

He's obviously the sane one in the conversation, right?

Crazy old lady, that's crazy.

What the hell?

Oh, that was my name.

Yeah, yeah, no, that was at the end.

Oh, shit, I forgot I was calling you Francisco.

Oh, she didn't care.

She knows it was a gag, but that was a very good call, man.

Oh, I got a Harry Bush on here.

Harry Bush.

What's that, man?

There's a Harry Bush.

Harry Bush.

I got a call.

I got a number here for a Harry Bush.

Yeah, let's call, like, can you, like, I'll tell you what.

Can you do, like, any, like, celebrity voices or something?

No, you know, I don't do any celebrity voices, to be honest with you.

I wish I did.

Yeah, that's fine.

It doesn't matter.

Yeah, I'm not.

I wish I was Billy Mira.

What the hell is that?

Okay.

Anyway, well, you want to try calling this?

We got Harry Bush.

you got evil tool harry bush that sounds good harry bush okay uh in lexington some old guy

and it called about 20 minutes ago but she'll still be up all right well okay here we go uh

we're back on with reclude he's gonna hook us up with one more prank call uh stay tuned to the

madhouse it's now 12 yep harry bush lexington kentucky hello hello i speak to harry this is

hey how you doing you old bugger me and my buddy online just want to talk to you for a little bit

Now, I just want to meet your buddies.

Old buddies from Wakeback College.

Don't say that, buddy.

My other buddies on the phone.

Hey, speak up there.

Yes, hello.

Hello, Harry.

What's going on there?

Harry, this is Mr. Harry Bush.

All right, buddy.

We're in business now.

Yes, I've been talking to your friend, and I'm going to buy the business.

And we're looking to see if you'd like to invest.

Yeah, we've got a good business.

Now, that's on you.

We're going to be...

I'll just pass this one up.

Uh, uh, bowl, bowl, bowl, semen, bowl, bowl, bowl, semen and water coolers.

Every office needs one, buddy.

I tell you what, we got the clearest one.

No, we don't.

No, it's not for your office.

I'm telling you, it's for every office in the great U.S. of A.

Let me tell you what, I'm on a no-call list, and I don't care if I have your ass arrested.

Why don't you kiss my ass?

It's a good deal of water.

Goodbye, man.

Why don't you kiss, kiss my ass?

Kiss my ass.

You can't stop me! You can't stop me! You can't stop me! You can't stop me!

You against water? That's communism.

That's communism?

Oh my god, that's a communist plot.

He sounds like a good ol' boy.

Pinko, let's call him back and say, you pinko bastard.

You wanna call him back? I'll put you through again.

Yeah, let's call you pinko bastard.

God damn

You hang up on me

God damn

Rusky

Hang on

Where's he at

He's in Lexington

Kentucky

Tell him

Tell him you know

About his

His

Fucking

What are they called

His moonshine

They can't trade this

Can they

Nah

It comes up as like

An 810 area code

Or something

From like the

Virgin Islands

It's okay man

We're safe

Yeah

Milkman will take the hit

If anybody does

So it's okay

don't worry about it

he's

he's the fucking

father

yeah well fuck it

somebody needs to

take the hit

for once for me

yeah exactly

alright well let's

get Harry Bush

back on the line

for you here

we'll be back

in just one moment

buddy come on

you don't gotta be

a communist

come on

hey listen

just listen to me

Just listen to me once.

Come on, buddy.

Come on, be an American.

Come on, hear me out.

Hear my sales pitch.

Hello?

Where do you live?

Please enter your destination.

Oh, you son of a...

Ramp bastard.

I could try one more time.

Oh, hey.

Hang on.

I'm going to get going.

What are you doing?

Hang on, hang on, hang on.

All right, man.

Hey, Recklood, thanks for being on the air, though, man.

It's great having you on.

Hey, no problem.

That was a good prank.

Yes, it was.

It was very good.

And, Recklood, be sure to call in next week.

I would love to have you on as a regular guest, sir.

Heck yeah, man.

I'll be around.

All right.

You take it easy, everybody.

I'll eat you.

All right.

Wipe out.

All right.

Bye.

That was Wreck Food, everybody.

Thank you very much for joining the show.

You've just been listening to a sample of the Madhouse.

If you like what you hear, be sure to listen in every Thursday night at 9.15 p.m. on PCU Radio,

your number one source for live and recorded prank calls.

For more information, visit MadHouseLive.com or KDKPrankCalls.com.

It's an exclusive of PCU Radio and MadHouseLive.com.

Okay, well, it's now 1227, and we picked up some steam over there, thanks to everybody who's been calling in.

KDK, Reclude, Milkman as usual, and Lonesome, coming up with the numbers as always, he's a fucking machine.

um uh we give him uh some more some more help here by calling john duty that was a great call

um josephina moron sir f rat old guy answered yeah i'm gonna try this one on my own

um everybody the toll-free line to call in the show is 1-800-278-8509 once again that's one

jesus christ i said it wrong it's 1-888-278-8509 once again the number to call the madhouse live

right now is 1-888-278-8509.

Peoploid is in the chat room and he's telling me that his former landlord, Donald, has a

handicapped son who doesn't live with him.

He suggests I pretend to be the retarded son, tell him I want to go back to school.

Confirmed about 10 minutes ago, he's an old bastard so he should still be there.

And he gives me his phone number.

so we're gonna um we're gonna give that dude a call people that's the one out for you and um

you know send me all your prank requests and all your music requests um bam bam bam uh on aol

instant messenger you can reach me at madhouse radio on yahoo i am at madhouse pcu radio and uh

And Hotmail, MSN, is MadhousePCURadio at Hotmail.com.

On top of that, you can reach me on Google Talk, if you have that, at Madhouse Radio.

If you don't have that, check it out.

It's a nice and neat application.

By the way, MadhouseLive.com is the home page for the Madhouse,

which is the show you're listening to right now.

Again, that's MadhouseLive.com.

And kdkprankcalls.com

Again, that's kdkprankcalls.com

Is the home to PCU Radio

And where you can go to join the chatroom

See, the chatroom is holding stable tonight

You got people coming in and going as time goes on

But we're charging along

Anyway, I'm going to give that call to that dude that people sent me over

I guess it's going to be the retarded son of his former landlord and see what I can do.

God bless me for doing this.

Anyway, we'll be right back with that, everybody.

It's 1230 now, Friday morning, and you're listening to The Madhouse on PCU Radio.

Hello.

Yes, hello.

How are you?

Good.

Look, I need to speak to you about the problem we have here.

I'm over here and someone told me that you have a problem with your building.

Well, my name is Sukhreen Darul Ajala and I am with the homeowners association of the city.

And you are being investigated for having a poor structure in one of your buildings that you own.

Are you aware of the complaints against you?

No.

Well, uh, sir, uh, the only problem that we have now is that, uh, you're facing a big, uh, lawsuit.

Uh, someone was apparently sitting...

Call me at one o'clock in the morning?

Yes, we called, uh, we just received the complaint now.

We received the complaint now, you bastard.

You son of a bitch.

I forgot.

Fucking, I forgot that I was supposed to, um, act like, uh, like a retard there.

That's sad.

Alright, uh, let me go back in the chatroom.

See, a lot of people are talking to me.

uh somebody told me about scrambled weed eggs you know i heard about you gotta make the butter

you make that weed butter you um cook weed and butter and then you skim it i think yeah and then

you can get a high on off of whatever you cook with that butter you fry eggs in it you do whatever

put it on your bagel i'm gonna do that once i just i feel so fuck i i i'm so scared of ruining

you know a nice sack of weed because i tried to cook with it and burnt it or something like that

but anyway there's a show called uh weeds on showtime now comes on um every sunday i think

and it's it's pretty cool it's all about some some uh homeowner lady some rich lady whose husband

dies and she starts selling weed in the neighborhood it's a really really funny show

kevin newland's in it so if you haven't seen it yet uh be sure to check out weeds on showtime

very cool show and yeah you would like that um let me see what else is going on in the chat room here

Bam, bam, bam.

Some more calls here.

Dolores Tramp in South Dakota.

Gabina Dumbass.

Anyway, I was going to call Sir F. Ratt.

Sir Ratt.

He answered about 20 minutes ago.

Oh, yeah.

Apparently the Patriots won tonight.

They beat the Raiders.

I'm assuming the game's over.

Unless they went into overtime for some reason.

I stopped looking at that.

But they were winning 20-14 when I last saw at the end of the third quarter.

But I don't know, actually, who won now.

Let me take a look at that.

If anybody cares, fucking, you guys probably already know.

If you do care, you probably already know.

So, whatever.

Okay, let's get Mr. Rat on the line here.

If you guys just hold on a moment, I'll get another prank call.

It is now 1235, and you are listening to the Madhouse.

Be right back.

What the?

You son of a bitch.

Damn, he didn't even let me talk.

Woo!

What's going on over here?

Mad Man's talking about, yep, weed butter is the key.

See, I knew it, motherfuckers.

That's how you gotta do it.

Mad Man, send me a recipe or some shit.

I'm too afraid to do it, but fuck.

I'm gonna do that one day.

I'm just gonna put it on my toast in the morning.

I heard that you just get an overall body high when you do that shit, so.

And you, um, you waste a lot less weed than by smoking it.

Because when you smoke weed, it just kinda burns off.

When you don't, when you're eating it, you're getting all that THC up in, up in that ass.

And we got a caller here from the great state of Texas.

You're on the madhouse.

Good evening. You're on the madhouse.

Yeah.

Well, they were on the madhouse, but we lost them. Oh well. It happens.

Weed is really fresh as munchies.

Okay. Yeah, I guess, I would guess so. That probably would happen. Okay.

Um, go back to the chatroom here.

Who can I call?

True. This is Richard Roma also.

Madhouse, you're on the air.

Hello?

Hey, what's up, Prankmasters?

Not much.

I think you were a shitload of numbers.

There was 24-7.

Okay, hang on.

24-7 numbers?

24-7 locations?

Okay.

Oh, yeah, you did.

Look at that.

I wasn't paying attention.

Okay.

Oh, look at that.

Bob's a big boy.

Would you like to call one of these, sir?

Yeah, sure.

Okay.

Do you have a preference of these, or would you like me to go through them here?

Doesn't matter.

Dragon 5, man.

24-7, sir, and I tested them, too.

Oh, really?

Really? Oh, dude, look at the news cafe in Miami Beach.

Oh, my God, can you imagine that?

I even found 24-7 numbers in New Orleans.

Yeah. Did you test them?

Yeah.

In New Orleans, really?

Yeah.

And I got an answering machine.

Oh, man. Hey, you want to call the Baba Palace in Chicago?

Sure.

And that's 24 hours. All the ones you sent me are 24 hours, right?

Yep.

Okay, cool. Well, we'll call the Baba Palace, all right?

Uh-huh.

All right, cool. Well, Prankmaster, hold on the line, and everybody also hold on the air,

and I'll be on with Prankmaster and another prank call.

It'll be just one moment, and you're listening to The Madhouse.

Oh, yay!

Yeah, good time.

Yes, how are you doing, my friend?

Very good.

Very good. It's been a long time.

What do you want, man?

Uh, let's see. Uh, if you're...

Sorry?

I've been.

I've been? I've been.

I've been.

How's your voice? Is the voice good?

I can't hear you, sir. What'd you say?

Hang on, hang on. Talk to my brother. Hang on.

Hello, you see?

I'm sorry, I'm not paying attention. Hello.

Hello?

Yes, hey, hey man, look, I need to come in. I got a party of like ten people here.

No, I don't speak, I don't speak Urdu, brother.

What?

I don't speak Urdu.

What's Urdu?

What are you talking about?

I have about ten people who we just came, we're looking at houses here in Chicago, properties, and we would like to come in for some food.

Ten people? You're looking for what?

Ten people, three are Jews.

Do you have kosher?

This is a restaurant.

What kind of food are you having there, sir?

This is Indian-Pakistan food.

Good, good.

What is better, the Indian or the Pakistan?

Huh?

What is better, Indian or Pakistan food?

Pakistan and Indian both.

Okay.

When you get mad at the other side of the...

Do you throw a nuclear missile from India to Pakistan over the Kashmir?

Yes, sir.

You do?

What did you say?

Who do you think the Kashmir belongs to, India or Pakistan?

It belongs to you.

No, I don't want it. It's a piece of shit.

Yeah, I would like to see you, sir.

Yeah, I'd like to see you.

Oh, no problem.

You got a problem?

No, we have no problem.

You want to make a fight with me?

No, no, I just answer your question.

What is the question? I said who is...

I think you have nothing to do. Go sleep or do something.

Why don't you look at your mother?

Thank you, sir.

No, go to hell.

nothing bitch that was pretty funny yeah right yeah man that was pretty good man

hell yeah i was actually gonna start up trying to do like babaloo but then i said nah

hey i got like a cube in a restaurant and then you gotta start singing babaloo

yeah um that's awesome this uh people people over here he sent me a link to uh

uh, to a website all about, uh, eating weed, how to make blood butter and how to cook with

it and stuff. Dude, I'm gonna, I'm so gonna do this before I quit smoking weed. I'm gonna

make some, like, I'm gonna make some, like, like, Rice Krispie, oh, hell yeah, get me

a Rice Krispie to get you high. It's gonna be so awesome, man. Anyway, so, tell me the

truth, is this for real what's going on with you and Zola? You're gonna be, now, you, you,

what do you do? You review prank, uh, pranks. You review, um, haunted houses? Yeah. Do

Do you dress up when you go to the haunted houses?

What?

Do you dress up when you do the reviews?

I just, I actually just, you know, go in and ask, like, I was a regular customer and see, like, whether it's, like, uh, you know, what, so, gray and shit, or, you know, like, how, like, like, the ratings, like, one bat, two bat, three bat, four bat, five bat.

Now, tell me this, uh, so you won't be able to make it to Zolar's house until 1030?

Uh, we kind of figured, like, that's something, so.

Okay, alright, good, good. Well, let's not push it, but you're planning on being on the show tomorrow. You don't have any idea how many people asked me before the show started on IM, is Prankmaster going to be on tomorrow, what's up with Zolar, so, okay, so, I already did this once, but I'm just saying, everybody out there listening now, Prankmaster will be on, don't worry, it'll be a normal Zolar show, all points intended. I don't know what I'm talking, I'm rambling.

Yo, I got a good number for you to call.

Okay, what do you got?

Baghdad Cafe.

Where?

Baghdad Cafe?

Where's the Baghdad Cafe at?

Just the last number.

Okay, I see it.

Got it.

Yeah.

Oh, nice, the Baghdad Cafe.

Okay, well, let's give that a call.

All right, cool.

All right.

Hang on the line, Prankmaster.

We'll get that on.

All right, everybody.

All right, cool.

Yeah, we're doing another call here, everybody.

This is going to be the Baghdad Cafe in San Francisco, California.

It's now 1247, and you are listening to the Madhouse.

You want to go on first or me?

Nicholas, how can I help you?

Well, hello, Nicholas. How are you, sir?

Good. How are you?

I'm not too bad, thank you.

Look, sir, I just got back from the war, and I was looking to try to relive that wartime experience.

What do you say?

Um, we actually, we don't, we're not, like, Baghdad.

No?

Have you heard of the movie Baghdad Cafe?

Uh, I don't really care for much for art and shit like that.

I just...

I don't, I don't really either.

I've never seen the movie.

Uh, what, what, what was your, uh, what was your name again?

Nicholas.

Uh, Nicholas, look, you don't understand the shit that I saw over there, man.

You don't know what it's like to see people buried up, up to their, to their heads with

with their arms sticking out of the sand,

so they can wave goodbye to you as you walk away.

You don't know what it's like to have the fear of some raghead

coming up behind you and blowing you up.

I'm appalled that you would have a place, a business called the Baghdad Cafe.

You know how offensive that is to me and my brothers.

Yeah, we're really sorry, man. It's really offensive.

Thanks a lot. Have a good night.

You son of a bitch. You un-American fuck.

What assholes.

I'm totally gay right there.

I know, man.

Yeah, he thought I was...

It sounded like he was actually chewing on a dick

at the same time while I was talking.

Yeah.

You know what?

I think you have something there.

Yeah.

All right, call the adult shop and I'll go.

I'm going to call this place.

Okay, who do you want?

Do you want the adult shop?

Okay, they have a theater.

Pugh's in an arcade.

Yeah, I'm going to ask about the arcade.

I'm going to say, like, make a provided adult game.

Yeah, exactly.

Okay, all right, man.

You're in with that.

All right.

I'll put you on, alright everybody, here we go with another call, the man has his steam back up, we'll be right back in just one moment, everybody, you're listening to the man on PCU Radio.

Hello, it's the Dildo Shop, how can I help you?

Yes, I'm calling about the video games.

Video games?

Yeah, the arcade.

Oh, okay, the arcade, yeah.

Yeah, um, uh, I was playing one of the games, uh, I think the game's called Devil Action

Dildo, and, um, the dildo, when I picked it up, it accidentally smelled like, uh, like

someone actually stuck it inside.

Um, can you tell me about that game?

Uh, not really, but let me, wait up, just give me a second.

This one's a video arcade, man.

Huh?

This, uh, I think you got the wrong one, because this is a video arcade, you have to

watch movies.

You don't play any games.

Oh, well, it says in your ad that you have an arcade.

Yeah, arcade.

You know, arcade.

Movie arcade.

Movie arcade that you can flip to the...

Well, in your ad, it says an arcade.

Okay, yeah, and it's a movie arcade, man.

Pay attention.

It says movie.

Hey, hey, what?

You calling me dumb?

No, no, no.

Just hang up.

You fucking...

Damn it.

Ah, shit.

Did you hear the guy?

He's like, just hang up.

Jesus.

You want to try to call him again?

Sure.

All right, hang on.

Let me see how I can do this here.

Oops.

Try

it again.

All right, hang on a minute.

Enter your authorization code now.

Try to miss a pen.

Your death number.

Secret space.

Hours, minutes, twenty-nine seconds.

We're calling an adult shop.

May I help you?

Yes.

Can I have the movie, Weapons of Ass Destruction?

You have to hold on just a moment.

I'm in the computer.

I can't pull it up yet, okay?

Okay.

What was the name of that movie again?

Weapons of Ass Destruction.

Don't have that one.

How about The Sominator?

The only thing I've got is Pirate Licks.

I don't think so.

Goodbye.

Fox Player,

how about that one?

Oh, shit, man.

You'd think one of those

would actually be a movie.

God damn it,

that's fucked up.

Hey, um...

I got a bunch of funny ones.

How about Star Trek,

The Next Penetration?

Star Trek,

The Next Penetration.

Oh, my God.

Shaving Ryan's Private?

Yeah.

The Lord of Men,

Cometh?

Really?

Yeah.

Okay, hey...

Let me ask you,

speaking of video games,

Prankmaster,

do you like video games?

Do you play video games much?

Uh, a bunch and a lot.

Not too much.

Uh, well, do you ever go online for video game news?

Well, my computer was, like, so shitty, I can't even do 3D gaming, so...

Uh, well, do you ever go, like, to any of the websites to check out my video games, like IGN or anything like that?

Yeah, I have.

Well, I, I have...

Whoa, holy shit.

Oh, my God.

Hang on, everybody, we have a crisis.

Are you there?

Yeah, I am.

Okay, we lost you there.

I had a bunch of good names that I could have came up with for him.

Frankenstein.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Dildos.

But how about this one? E3, the extra testicle.

Okay, well, hang on. I'm going to have to interrupt you real quick.

I have some breaking news real quick here for everybody, please.

Okay.

Everybody, I'm being informed here through the chat room, for those of you who aren't in the chat room,

or just for reference sake, Dada is reporting that Fox has bought IGN for $650 million.

That's right, News Corp, run by Rupert Murdoch, has bought IGN for $650 million.

That is insane.

Wow, man, you know how much IGN is going to suck now?

And, you know, IGN has been progressively getting crappier and crappier along the years, I think.

I've followed them since they were Game Players Magazine back in the mid-90s,

and they actually abandoned the magazine that focused on IGN, and now this is happening, I don't know.

Anyway, so what other numbers do you have here?

I got a shitload, dude.

Yeah, I'm looking here.

The Majestic Diner, the News Cafe, Club Deep.

Club Deep.

God, that's nasty.

Yeah, call the Wizard of Suds.

I got a good idea for that one.

Which one is it now?

The Wizard of Suds.

Lizard...

It's in Las Vegas.

Vegas.

You sent that to me already?

Yeah.

Oh, there, Wizard of Suds.

I wonder what that...

Oh, that's like beer.

Okay.

All right, all right.

You want to take that one?

I'll put you through it.

Yeah, I'll take it.

All right, cool.

Got an idea.

All right, good deal, man.

So, hey, look, we're getting those prank calls in

That we wanted to get done

We were talking about

Getting prank calls

For like a few days

And we never got a chance

So here we are

And now I'm actually able to

Alright

Alright well

Hang on everybody

We'll be back

With the next call

In just one moment

Here's a recording

Sorry

Please enter your offer

You have

One dollar

Fifteen cents

Will allow

Five minutes

Twenty nine seconds

Are you there?

Yep

Ah yes

Is this the visitor's side?

Yes sir

Listen

I made up a great song

that could be used in your next promotion.

Oh, well, you need to call and talk to the owners.

They're here in the morning.

It's about 10, 30, 11 o'clock.

Will, can I tell you a little bit?

No, I won't forget.

I'll forget, so call the owners.

Will, can I just tell you a little bit?

I was going to start singing.

Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Sides.

Please enter your destination number now.

That guy won't play.

Here's another one.

Let me try another one.

You want to just call Save on Drugs in L.A.?

Which one?

Too late. I was going to call a Save Androids in L.A.

Okay. You can start.

Okay. Actually, this is Shark Club.

Shark Club, yeah.

Charlie's Chili Restaurant.

Okay. Hang on pretty much. I'm going to do a call this time.

You hang on a while, and I want you to join in, possibly, okay?

All right.

Everybody, I'm going to try another call here, everybody.

1.03 a.m. now.

Going strong. You're listening to The Madhouse.

I'll be right back in just one moment.

Peace.

you have one dollar 14 cents nation number now it took me a long time to get you back on huh

yeah baby sorry about that yeah i know hang on birdie will allow you to talk

Doctor, 54 minutes, 29 seconds.

Yes, hello, ma'am.

Look, I'm not too happy.

I just came in there with my son, and he...

Hi.

Hello.

I'm sorry?

Yes, ma'am, can you hear me?

Yeah, you're going to have to speak up a little bit.

Okay, look, ma'am, here's what's going on.

I just came in with my son, and he's autistic,

and apparently you guys served him some kind of food here,

which is spicy as all get-out.

He's got it all over his eyes, his ears, his mouth.

All in his gums everywhere, and he is going crazy.

What kind of responsibility is that of you to do something like this?

I'm f***ed up. I can hardly hear you.

Well, look, what I'm trying to say is my son is on the line right now,

and he's autistic, and you guys have fed him spicy food.

He had no idea what he was getting himself into, and now he's suffering.

Was he with an adult?

Charlie, are you there? Charlie.

Who is this?

Charlie.

I'm not feeling too bad.

Yeah, Charlie, he's throwing up through his nose.

Who is this?

I'm telling you now, this is Carlito.

I got here with my son, Charlie.

He's autistic, and you goddamn fed him some hot pepper shit,

and now he's all going crazy.

And you want me to do what, exactly?

I want you to come over here, play for the cleaning bills,

play for the medical bills, and I'm holding you personally responsible.

And that's all she can do is laugh.

Try your shit all over the place.

What the hell's wrong with you?

Prankmaster, you there?

Yes, I am.

I got Milkman back on the air, too.

Thank God.

Hey, man, that wasn't too good, but that wasn't too bad.

Yeah.

Yeah, you know, no problem.

These numbers are working out beautifully, man.

Yeah, exactly.

I just had a caller come in, but I accidentally didn't get to you in time.

So if you want to call back, please do.

do uh prank master i'm gonna want to clear the lines here before i head off the head off the

air but i thank you very much for participating yep thank you with your permission i'll save

these numbers and maybe i'll get to some since they're 24 hours i can definitely get them next

week yeah and uh maybe zola or hitman or two of them tomorrow night are you guys planning on doing

prank calls uh tomorrow you think because uh last last week there weren't two uh the times that i

heard there weren't too many calls going on yeah uh that's because of the hookup but uh yeah i

I think this week, there's going to be probably, I don't know about a hookup, but I think this

week we'll have a lot more numbers and start doing a lot more prank calls this week.

Awesome, dude.

Well, I'll be in there listening.

Everybody listen in tomorrow at 10 p.m., right?

Yep.

All right.

All right, man.

Well, hey, Prank Monster, thank you very much for calling.

Have yourself a super night.

All right.

You too.

All right.

Stay black.

All right.

This is Delicious Carlitos Radio.

Have fun.

Delicious.

That's what I like.

All right, man.

Later.

All right.

Bye.

Delicious.

Prankmaster's cool.

Prankmaster.

What are you talking about, delicious prank masks?

Jesus Christ.

What are you, a cliver there, saber?

Oh, man.

Hey, Milkman, you're barely coming in.

Oh, okay.

You're coming in strong, but you're coming in quiet.

I think it's this damn connection over here.

I'm telling you, these ISC people are out to get me.

Yeah, it's probably what it is.

I know they are.

They're listening to me.

Look, man, I have you back on the air, but I'm about to call it quits for the night.

It's about six minutes

I have normal quitting time

I think I'm going to go ahead and call it off now

The show started off to a slow start

But it ended up actually picking up speed here

Towards the end

I got some pretty decent calls

Milkman

Yes

Man, you're barely coming in

But I just wanted to say as always

Thank you for being on the show

Thank you for everything you do, sir

Okay, this is Mr. Ed

Mr. Ed just wanted to say thank

Mr. Ed

You were letting me on the show, Will Holbert.

Yeah, thank you for being on, Milkman.

All right, man.

Okay, then.

Thank you, and bye-bye.

See you later, Recluse.

KDK, Madman.

Peace to you.

Bye.

Fabulous.

That's Milkman, everybody.

Thank you, as always, Milkman, for joining in.

Well, as I said, tomorrow night, Zolar is going to be on the 10.

It's about time for me to call it quits, though, because, man, I'm, like, ups and downs.

I guess I could take one of them, cool.

You're on the madhouse.

Hello?

PCU?

Yeah, this is PCU.

You're on the madhouse.

Who am I speaking with?

Um.

Bro, what's up, Christian?

You guys like that board?

Oh, no, we're not that bored, but, you know, this is what else you're gonna fucking do on a night like tonight, man.

There ain't shit going on.

It's whatever.

We just prank call.

What the fuck, man?

What the fuck?

So, what's the number for?

What are people calling for?

What is this supposed to call in for?

Yeah.

Well, you know, people call, they shoot the shit, or they do prank call me on the air.

Yeah, that's all it is, man.

This is what people can call in and get involved with.

Not people just listening to me and my fat ass talk all night, you know what I mean?

You gotta switch it up on people, so you can keep them listening.

That's just how it is, man.

That's how you do radio.

I just gotta say that last one that you guys did to Charlie's Chili over in Cali.

Yeah.

That one.

That wasn't what?

That was shit.

Yeah, that was shit.

Yeah, it was.

It was, yeah.

But, you know, I mean, you roll with the punches.

I've had good calls tonight.

I've had bad calls tonight.

But, whatever, man.

It's been a shit evening.

He got to talk to a lady.

The lady was like, yeah, they're fucking dumbasses.

What the hell is that?

Dude, if they got a better prank, call us back.

Exactly.

Yeah, well, just, it's been an awful night.

What can I say, dude?

This is what happens, man.

All right, man.

Well, I'll keep listening in if anything new.

All right, man.

We'll keep listening in and all that shit.

All right, man.

All right.

Well, thank you for calling us, sir.

I always like the fact that people like to join in.

Even if it's negative, it's not negative.

But, you know, to be honest, it's been a crappy show.

So, what can I say?

It has been crappy.

I wouldn't say crappy.

It's just been less than stellar.

But regardless, everybody, be sure to listen to Zolar tomorrow, as I was trying to say, at 10 p.m.

KDK is on Saturday night at 10, as well, with the Lunatic Fringe.

Sunday is Sean Ward at 9.

Billy Mira is on at 8 o'clock on Monday.

And then KDK returns once again Wednesday night at 10.

And you'll be back on the Madhouse next Thursday.

So that's it.

What else can I say?

It's been an okay night.

I thank everybody for being involved

Prankmaster for calling in

Everybody else who called

Milkman for joining in

And Lonesome Loser

As always for the hookups with the calls

I was going to say I couldn't do it with

Everybody out there who wasn't

So be sure you visit

MadhouseLive.com

And listen to all the

Previous prank calls on the show

Past episodes if you missed them

And be sure to spread the word

and for everybody to visit kdkprankcalls.com.

And that's going to be it for me tonight, everybody.

Thank you very much for listening.

And stay tuned for 24 hours of non-suck prank calls.

Right.

That's my shit.

Okay.

Good night, everybody.

Have a good weekend.

Good night.

you hear, be sure to listen in

every Thursday night at 9.15pm

on PCU Radio

your number one source for

live and recorded prank calls

for more information visit

Calls (28, 1 h 9 min of 2 h 49 min)

Transcript

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