2005-09-11 Show

The following is an exclusive of PCU Radio and MadHouseLive.com.

Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and girls, bitches and home-ass niggas,

the weirdo is back.

I want everybody right now to put your blunts up.

You're now listening to Bizarre Solo Album,

the Handicapped Circus,

and I'm your boy, Young Miles of Future,

and my man's about to get it crackin' for y'all.

The band has a new lead singer.

Everybody stand up.

Put your motherfuckin' hands up for the number one weirdo, Bazaar

Bitch, it's a nigga with the shower cap, kickin' a nasty

Dirty 50 rap, I'm Detroit's London Man

Man, I got a fuckin' rash, that's all I gotta say

What's up everybody?

Thank you for joining the special late house edition of the Madhouse

Um, Joop just quit, I didn't even see Joop was on, man

God damn

Um, yeah

Hang on everybody

okay first of all um uh i am on uh pcu i know that much uh techno frag venison's asking about

that in the chat room now yeah i want to be on techno frag but i think katie case is a little

too drunk right now to be able to to execute that maneuver and getting me streamed over there so

since i don't have access to techno frag i don't think it's going to be happening i wish it did

but we'll see if we come up on there but it's just going to sound the same it'll sound just as

as good as, uh, listening to me

on here, uh, cause

the sound quality won't be as good as KDK gets

because he has, uh, direct access

to the, uh,

Technofrag server, and I'm looking for

my lighter, cause I've got a nice

freshly packed bowl of Crip,

and I can't find a lighter to light it

with, and we have a fucking crisis.

Um, anyway, it is, uh, September

11th, uh, just short of 2am,

it's now 1.58 Eastern,

and we're doing a special edition of the Madhouse,

um, I'm sorry it took me so long

to get back and running, but I had to

reboot.

Lonesome Loser, who was providing

me with a lot of phone numbers,

needs to resend

everything he

sent me before

because I had to reboot. Anyway, so I'll get

prank calls going here as soon as

Lonesome can resend that stuff to me.

Anyway, in the

meantime, if you'd like to join the show, by all

means, please do. You can call in

toll-free at 1-888-

278-8509

Once again, that's

1-888-278-8509

You can call in and be live on the show.

You can even do a prank call with me or just

pretty much just shoot the shit.

I'll be here as long as I can stay up.

It's 2 o'clock now. Hopefully

an hour, hour and a half. If the show goes

good, sometimes I can go even longer.

People like

DTT, I think that they

are listening to the

technofrag server as of yet uh looks like venus is going to hook everybody up and get us simulcasted

on technofrag so that's good um other than that i'm going to go ahead and attempt to get um my

boy milkman here who normally co-hosts the show with me um via satellite and see if we can connect

him in without any auto trouble if not i promise i won't keep trying to connect him like i did last

thursday we'll just uh give him a few shots and if technology doesn't uh work then we're not going

gonna push it hang on everybody what's up okay that's not gonna work we'll have to retry that

later for now uh we're just gonna do a solo show here but um no by all means it's not sold because

everybody can call in once again that's 1-888-278-8509 um master uh yeah i'm getting a

bunch of files here from prank master i don't know what that's all about let's go ahead and

give those a look, you'll see here in a second, um, bam, and I want to give a shout out to

my big, uh, to my boy Miz, uh, Misery from, uh, Sin Clans is in the house, inside the

chat room, uh, he's joining up, he is, uh, a good friend of mine, uh, for quite some

time now, and, uh, by all means, everybody, give him a shout out in the chat room, Misery,

uh, you're most welcome here in the madhouse, so thank you for joining in, um, take a look

Look at what I've got available here for numberos.

I'll get you guys...

Oh, I've got an Al and a Marie Capone in Massachusetts.

These are older confirmed ones, though.

Seymour and Florine Sandick.

I've got Stanley Sandick.

Carl Fuge.

Fuge.

Samuel Fuggy.

Black Guy Hansard at 9.39 p.m.

in Brockton, Massachusetts.

Samuel Fuggy.

There's that Walter Disney guy I wanted to call.

Let me see if we get Samuel Fuggy, a black man who answered a Massachusetts call,

because black people are very hard to come across as far as ability to prank call goes.

So I'm going to try to give him a call.

Let me get over here real quick and play some more music while I get that set up, everybody.

It's 2-0-2, and we're coming in with your first prank call of the special edition Madhouse for September 11th.

Be right back in just a second. Thank you.

Hey, what's up, man?

What's up, it's Screaming Meat, Jesus Christ.

What's up, man, what's up, what's good?

You busy right now, or what?

No, no, we're on the stream.

I don't know how, what's the delay on the stream?

Stream right now, where are you listening at right now?

I'm in Calgary, Canada, it's like, I don't know, five hours from L.A.

Well, I know that, but I mean, what stream are you listening to, the PCU or the Technofrag?

Uh, PCU, man.

PCU, yeah, we're on the PCU, um, I don't know, what's up with the stream, you can't hear it, or?

Well, no, I can hear it, but what's the delay, like, I'm hearing through the internet, you know?

Like, I'm listening to it and whatnot, but I'm wondering what kind of delay I'm hearing it from.

Oh, oh, well, um, yeah, there's a delay, but, um, I'm on, I'm on delay.

Like, it's like a, it depends on your computer how, how bad the delay is.

Oh, no, I'm hearing it now, I'm hearing it now.

That's like a ten second delay, man.

Yeah, yeah, you gotta turn that down and we'll get all confused and shit.

Yeah, we're cool, we're cool.

Yeah, it's cool, it's cool.

Don't worry about that.

Yeah, yeah, KittyK, I'm sure in the chatroom, KittyK just passed out.

Um, anyway, man, so, yeah, so, so, what's up, you wanna, you wanna, you wanna do a call,

or, I got, I got a bunch of numbers here that are coming through.

Whatever you want, man, let's give her, fuck it.

Let's see here.

Balls out, man.

Alright, alright, I got a, I got a badass coffee here, um, in Alaska.

A coffee?

Yeah, it's in some place called Badass Coffee.

Oh, no, we have that shit up here in, like, Calgary, that's, that's stupid, man, it's

like a franchise that went under.

Is it really?

Don't bother

Yeah don't bother

With that shit

I've never heard

Of badass coffee before

Really

Yeah no there's like

There's a fucking like

Picture of a donkey

In the

In the middle of it all

So they're just

You know

That sounds like

A bunch of ass

Fucking yuppie yuppie idiots

Don't even worry about that

Fuck that then

Alright man

What else I got

Yeah

That's a downer

But

Okay

I'm just giving you

The truth man

Well hey I appreciate

I got a

I got a Nelson M. Shitto

S-H-I-T-O

Is his name

Shitto

And he picked up

About a half hour ago

About a half hour?

Yeah, about a half hour ago, so he's probably still up. Less than a half hour ago.

Let me think about the shit-o. I don't really...

Where can you go with shit-o that he hasn't already heard before?

Yeah, well, I mean...

You know?

Alright, well...

You tell me, I can get rid of your shit here.

No, you keep feeding him and I'll make it happen.

Alright, well we got Carl Pohina in Hawaii.

Carl Pohina.

A woman answered there.

That sounds good right there, yeah.

You want to try them?

What time is it in Hawaii, though?

Like, plus two hours, so in the morning here?

No.

I don't know, it's...

Or for over there, two in the morning?

It's, uh, it's like ten, nine o'clock, ten o'clock right now at night.

Nine, ten o'clock, so you have a pretty good chance of getting...

Hola?

Yeah, nine, ten o'clock.

You want to try them, or what?

What's going on?

Oh, my God, what the...

All right, we're going to have to disconnect on him.

If you can turn your radio down when you call in, it'd be great.

Everybody, yeah, KDK,

Hey, everyone's saying you passed out.

I don't know, man.

Just chill out, man.

It's okay.

If you didn't pass out, you can take your drinks.

It's okay.

Anyway, again, that line is 888-278-8509 if you want to join into the show.

I'm going to go ahead and, as I was trying to do before, we're going to set up our first

prank call tonight.

Caller, you just called in.

If you want to call back in, please do.

Didn't mean to disconnect on you, just said I lost you there for a second.

I think you went back to your computer speakers.

You got to remember, when you're talking to me on the air, you got to talk through the

phone only or it won't make any sense fuck man sorry about that everybody we're back on let me

take this caller again you're on the madhouse hey sorry carly you're doing me man that's all right

that's all right well look i just gotta cut off the air myself anyway so i don't know what the

fuck's going on oh really yeah man yeah i don't really know what's going on there yeah well

everything you're hearing is behind like i said so just uh stick stick to the phone when you're

talking to me you know what i mean all right i'll uh i'll keep talking if you just want to

fix shit up there oh no we're straight we're straight we're back on the air and we're okay

Okay, man, alright, so, uh, you still want to do a call, like I said, I'm getting numbers here, but, uh...

Alright, whatever happens, man, just throw her out there and we'll try to make it fucking work.

Okay, well, here, talk to Carl, how's that, man, you want to talk to Carl, Carl Puhina?

I can't, sure, why not, Puhina?

Carl Puhina, Puhina, in Hawaii, Carl Puhina.

Alright, I'm going to try to give it some beat, like, some fucking Beach Boys flavor.

Hell yeah, do it, man. Alright, man, so it's, uh, 2.10 a.m., everybody. We're gonna come back with our first prank call. Please, just one moment.

Give her.

Matt!

What's going on, man? Jesus Christ. You might be partying pretty hard out there, or what?

Apologize, man. What's going on tonight, anyway? You don't know? Well, no. You're, you're Pahuna, right? Who is this?

Like, I just got this number from a buddy who's supposed to be, supposed to be Pahuna's place, but, uh, if you can just guide me along here, that'd be great, man. Pardon me?

Well, he's not from Residence.

Yeah, right on, man. You ready to party or what? You got some fucking tequila there?

What's going on there at the Hoonah? Like, man, Hoonah!

I don't want to bother you, man, but Hoonah sounds like a fucking party name.

I'm getting fucking right rowdy here. Let's get ready to fucking get down and give her an air.

Let's get in the party now. It's time to fucking season the party.

Let's get in the party now.

Please enter your destination number now.

I don't think he wants to party, man.

I don't think so, either.

I don't know.

That was like my first song.

I pranked.

Well, you know, it wasn't bad.

I hope that went all right.

There have been worse.

It's all good, man.

Very good stuff, man.

Very good stuff.

So you're in Canada then, right?

Yeah, man.

Yeah.

How's Canada treating you?

It's rainy right now, but most people think it's snowing.

Is it cold yet?

How cold is it getting now?

Is it down in the 50s and shit now?

I couldn't really honestly tell you because I don't know Fahrenheit.

night but it's like still like 15 celsius though hey you don't need a jacket you just get fucking

wet but it sucks that sucks man that sucks yeah dude all right so uh i don't know do your thing

and i'll call back in a bit good deal man thanks for being on oh everybody that was uh that was

our friend from canada for some reason i forget his name now i apologize sir but uh thank you

very much for calling and if you'd like to take his place you can uh feel free to call in at

at 1-888-278-8509.

DTT, I don't know what's wrong with your connection to the stream.

I got cut for a second.

I got booted off the intranets, but I'm back on, so it's okay.

Don't worry, DTT.

Don't panic.

Just keep listening if you're on PCU.

Whoa, that's my pipe.

If you're on PCU, you should hear me, and if not, you should probably catch me later.

What the fuck is going on?

Alright, kitty cases go on as long as I want, and I think I'll do that.

By all means, uh, let me do a...

Yeah, okay, good. My J came out in the right place.

Let me kick this faggot here.

I'm gonna kick somebody.

Boom.

Ooh, I can't.

Dammit, man, I can't.

Anyway, um, let me get back over here in the gizmo and try Milkman one more time.

See if we get my boy on here in the line. If not, we're gonna have to call that quits.

In three, two, hello.

Hello, hello.

That's it for Milkman. That's it for gizmo.

No, I don't think they're going to be on tonight.

I'm sorry, guys.

I know you're broken up.

We lost our caller.

Sorry about that.

Whoever was calling from Michigan, please call back.

I apologize.

You couldn't hear me.

Again, that's 888-278-8509.

Let's take this next caller here in the line.

You're on the Madhouse.

Who are you?

This is Khalido Brigante.

How are you?

Well, this is Arnold.

He says Misery says you have a show.

Uh, uh, Misery has a show, but, uh, it's a little gay, you know?

Don't you get out of there now, because it's not working.

Yeah, his, his, Misery's show is a bunch of shit, you know what I mean?

Misery's everything for me. He supported my politics. But who are you anyway?

You sound like the governor, man. What's up?

Are you from my house?

I was in the middle of smoking. Who is this? Is this Misery?

Misery? No.

No.

I am not Misery.

Oh.

Misery is a very fine friend of mine.

Oh yeah? Alright.

Came for governor in California

Governor

Nice man

Hey man, fuck California though man

California can kiss my ass, you know what I mean?

What's wrong with California?

I'll put it from the ground up

Huh?

You're gonna sink it too, you fag

It's what you're gonna do

You know what you gotta do?

Yeah, what?

Go back to Mars

So I can kill you now

You wanna rumble, man?

Come on, old man

Yeah, let's get back to my spaceship

Maybe we can do that

Puerto Rico, man

Whatever, man

Old ass, Arnold Schwarzenegger

You ain't shit

I am not old, okay?

Yeah, I can beat you by three times as much, but I don't care.

You weigh like 300 pounds right now, and that's all fat.

Who are you?

You do a very good who are you.

That's for sure.

It sounds just like the soundboard, man.

Who's your daddy?

What does he do?

Very good.

This is the best on-the-phone Schwarzenegger we've had ever on the Madhouse, to tell you the truth.

Arnold?

Arnold.

The best Arnold, yes.

The best Arnold.

But this is Arnold.

What are you talking about?

This is Arnold.

Maria's right here with me.

You want to talk to my wife?

Yeah, put her on.

Never mind.

She's in bed right now.

Sorry.

He's in bed right now?

Yeah.

Man, that is sick.

Come on, man.

Come on.

Who is this?

Someone here knows me.

Who's on the air?

I have nobody.

Nobody knows me.

Only for the government officers.

Fuck the government.

Maybe on the last of the loan.

I don't know.

Maybe I can...

But I think my person will beat him anytime.

Do you think that you'll be re-elected?

Yeah, okay.

Will you run for re-election? Tell us, will you run for re-election? We want to know here on the Madhouse.

There's no re-election, okay? The president, I'm going for 2008.

But if Christopher Washington goes for president, I might be his vice president.

Everybody, you heard it here first. Arnold Schwarzenegger live on the Madhouse announcing

he will not be running for re-election in the 2000-whatever election.

I'm going to be the president of the universe, the whole galaxy.

Take everybody down. Who are you? You must be, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, you must be, uh, an animal.

No, there's not much animals. I can't, I can't, I can't even talk right now.

I want to hear, I want to hear Arnold Schwarzenegger taking a shit. Can you do that for me?

Okay, let me go talk to the director right now.

All right, hurry up.

Okay.

Let's go.

Maria, don't worry about it. I'm just going to take a shitter.

Take a shitter.

Okay, I'm in the toilet. It's very small.

You don't have to go in the toilet. You don't have to go in the toilet, you know.

Yeah, don't worry about it. It's very expensive, don't worry.

Okay, they must have a huge toilet, a walk-in toilet.

Are you ready?

I wish I was the governor.

Just pretend I'm shitting on you, okay? No problem?

Okay, I'll open up. Go ahead.

Okay, I don't got to go.

I almost got to go right now, I got to, I got to bang on my, yeah, you have to see my

shit, alright, well, I gotta go, please do wash your hands, yeah, yeah, alright, alright,

alright, alright, alright, alright, thank you, God bless you, God bless you, that was

good, I've always wanted to hear Arnold Schwarzenegger take a shit, and I think that was a very good

representation of it um yeah christopher walken running for president i saw that site it's very

interesting um let me go into local news here uh while i get ready to make another call um

apparently chris rock took a line from kanye west on the uh national um on the national front

the national telethon that was on tonight um got like all the networks that were pbs abc nbc all

all the fucking piece of shit networks that i don't watch anyway because they have a bunch of

shit shows anyway um the fuck is that a cable vision system has issued a required weekly test

for the following blah blah blah boogie nights is on boogie nights is a good movie anyway what

was i talking about yeah uh chris rock was on the uh telethon and you all know how uh con us came

out and said that george bush hates black doesn't care about black people and all that shit well he

he took a line, and I think he says, George Bush doesn't care about midgets, and it just,

it came across really funny. I haven't seen it, but I read the article about that, and I can't

wait to find a copy of that. George Bush does not care about midgets, and we all knew that he

doesn't care about midgets. I don't necessarily think that he doesn't care about black people.

I think he doesn't care about the unfortunate. It's really what it is, but I'm no fan of Bush

myself. For all you Republicans out there, don't take any offense. I mean, I did vote for him the

the first time it was young i was foolish i was like 20 they know what the hell i was doing and

i voted for the other guy but i'll never make that mistake again and i didn't i voted for uh

for ralph nader no i didn't i voted for john carrey and it didn't work especially here in

florida fuck florida man um speaking of which here's kanye west for you guys so you know what

i'm talking about the city has changed dramatically tragically and perhaps irreversibly there's now

over 25 feet of water where there was once city streets and thriving neighborhoods i hate the way

they betray us in the media if you see a black family it says they're looting see a white family

it says they're looking for food and you know it's been five days because most of the people

are black and even for me to complain about i would be a hypocrite because i've tried to

turn away from the teacher tv because it's too hard to watch i've even been shopping before

even giving a donation so now i'm calling my business manager right now to see what's what

is the biggest amount i can give and and just to imagine if i was if i was down there and those are

jesus christ how how unprepared and how nervous can you be on tv this kanye sounds and looks i

can watch him now on video of course you guys can't you can just hear but he's next to mike

meyers you know awesome powers and shit saturday night live fame um next to kanye west who's has

has his hands in his fucking pockets and is nervous as all hell for some reason.

He's stumbling.

He sounds like a five-year-old kid knowing that he's going to pull some kind of prank on his teacher

and is just stumbling on every word because any second he's going to say something,

that's just going to shock everybody.

So, obviously, we knew something was coming here.

Let's keep listening.

Those are my people down there.

So, anybody out there that...

Those are your people, right.

Yeah, you're one of the poor black people.

I want to do anything that we can help with the setup, the way America is set up to help the poor, the black people, the less well off, as slow as possible.

I mean, this is, Red Cross is doing everything they can.

We already realize a lot of the people that could help are at war right now, fighting another way, and they've given them permission to go down and shoot us.

And shoot us.

They have given permission for them, they, whoever they is, has given them, whoever them is, to go shoot us, black people, rich black people like Kanye West.

Whatever you say, man.

And subtle, but in even many ways more profoundly devastating is the lasting damage to the...

Everybody listen to Mike Myers try to shift the focus off of Kanye West here.

Survivors will to rebuild and remain in the area.

The destruction of the spirit of the people of southern Louisiana and Mississippi may end up being the most tragic loss of all.

I just cut it off.

Everybody, here is the big payoff of everything.

George Bush doesn't care about black people.

Please call.

He looks right into the TV camera and says, George Bush doesn't care about black people.

All breathless.

Like, oh my God.

And then who do they show next?

In the past few days.

Chris Tucker.

in the past few days is wannabe michael jackson wannabe ass fucking chris tucker most unfunny

he he was funny back when he came out when he was a shit the first what was that movie oh man

the bruce willis movie with the fucking future and the the chick with the i don't know whatever

he was funny back in his day back in friday and shit but now it's just all a bunch of bunch of

crap anyway uh moving on um let's take a look at what's coming in through the chat room from

From Lonesome Loser.

I've got a Pizza Paradiso.

I've got a Aikahi Park Shopping Center Domino's Pizza.

Big Kahuna Pizza.

BJ's Chicago Pizzeria in Hawaii.

The Boogie Woogie Pizza Inc.

in Pahoa, Hawaii.

Or someone answered very recently.

Anyway, whoever called in with the Arnold, that was awesome.

I think that was one of my boys from St. Clans.

Or whatever that was.

Let me know when you get a chance.

And, oh, yeah, big shout-out to Uber.

Uber sold that, who was in the chat room.

He's another one of my good friends from the same clans

who I've been affiliated with for just over a year now.

Good people.

I'd like to welcome all of them for joining in to PCU

and listening to the Madhouse tonight.

Thank you very much.

You guys rock.

All right, let's go ahead and try to get another call here on the air.

Everybody, bear with me.

It is now 2.29 p.m.

And, yeah, Domino's Pizza does fucking suck.

That's the worst pizza.

It's at the bottom of the totem pole

As far as it's concerned

I will not eat Domino's pizza

You can offer that shit to me free

I won't eat it

I'll pass free pizza

Only if it's Domino's

I'll take frozen pizza

Over fucking Domino's

Nasty ass

Crap ass

Give you gas

Pizza

I always get gas

When I eat fucking Domino's

Anyway

Alright well

Let me get this fucking prank on

That's what you guys are here for

It's 2.30

And we'll be calling

Some kind of pizza place

Somewhere in Hawaii

In a second here

I'll be right back on the Madhouse.

Yeah, how you doing there, son?

You're breaking up pretty badly there.

God damn it.

Can you hear me now?

Oh, I got you now.

Hey, look there, buddy.

Look, I just went in there.

You got them donuts?

We got them donuts?

Yeah.

Hello?

What's up, Luke?

You got them donuts over there?

No, we got no donuts.

What do you mean you got no donuts?

What the fuck are you talking about you got no donuts?

Hey, we got no donuts, jerky.

What the fuck are you playing with?

Don't fuck around with me on the phone.

I'm a busy man.

Yeah, well, I'm a busy guy, too, so we got no donuts here.

Luke, you're right.

Look, you rat son of a bitch.

Don't fucking laugh at me.

Hey, listen, Zip-A-Neck.

Hey, listen, son of a bitch.

The world isn't about the jerky boys, you bitch.

This is fucking great.

No, no donuts here.

You're just going to fucking laugh at me all night, aren't you?

Yeah, who is this, Michael?

This is Carlito.

Carlito.

Yeah, Carlito.

How you doing, man?

Carlito.

Yeah.

No, pizza.

Pizza.

You're on my radio show right now, man.

Are we really?

Yeah, you are.

I'm swearing.

You can't put me on there.

No, you're on internet radio.

We talk all we want.

You can say cock, shit, fuck, pussy, cunt.

Oh, my God, huh?

Yeah.

All right, so listen.

If you want the real deal, you want the best pizza, that there is.

I don't care.

Even beyond the shores of Hawaii, you want to be at Boston Pizza because we're the real thing.

Boston, fuck it.

There is no better.

Are you from Boston and shit?

How about you?

Fuck Boston, man.

Boston ain't shit.

Huh?

Red Sox suck.

Everybody got to have an opinion.

That's why they make chocolate.

That's why they make vanilla, you know?

That's why they make faggots.

I mean, there's only two teams I vote for.

the Red Sox

and anybody that loses

that's why they make

faggots from Boston too

right

they make what

that's why faggots

come from Boston too

right

faggots

faggots man

faggots

gays

is that what you said

yeah fuck Boston

and fuck the Irish

well thank God for the faggots

because it takes them

out of the competition

like you know what I mean

whenever y'all get married

y'all do that gay shit

over there in Boston

don't you

that's our right

you know

that's our right

then there's more room

for the real people

you know

this way here

there's more girls

around for us

it's a modern day

I don't know. What are you going to do, you know?

God's going to reclaim you like New Orleans is what's going to happen.

That's all right. That's why we live over here, you know?

Hawaii is dirty, too.

I could really care what happens to that whole mainland.

Hawaii is dirty, too.

Hawaii is a bunch of shit.

Hawaii is going to go down, too.

Well, you know, there's an airplane ticket for you right out of here if you don't like it.

There's plenty of room in the world for you.

I'm going to pollute as much as I can here in Hawaii.

I'm going to throw all of my trash everywhere.

Really?

Someone will catch you.

No, they ain't going to catch you.

There's no Americans here in charge.

It don't matter.

You don't want to do that bad stuff because someone will catch you.

You're not going to do nothing.

There's a price to pay for all of that.

You tell me, if I came into your place right now and took a big shot in the floor, what would you do?

Beat the shit out of you.

You'd try.

Yeah.

But you're from Boston, so you can't do shit.

Well, you know what?

And you know where I'm from?

I'm from New York, man.

We don't play with you.

We don't know how to handle you people in Massachusetts.

That's right.

That's right, man.

That's right.

So what's up?

You got a problem or what?

Come on, man.

Your pizza sucks, too.

That's all right, buddy.

Your pizza sucks.

You put pineapple in that fucking...

Why don't you come down here?

Why don't you come and see me?

Why don't I?

Because that's what you want.

Come on down.

I know you want to suck my dick.

I know you want to suck my dick as well.

Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, you see?

You admit it.

That's all Boston's about.

Bring it down here, Calito.

All the faggots in Boston is ready to suck dick.

Yeah, that's right.

Just like the Red Sox suck dick too.

That's right.

Because there's some kind of life you have where you have to do this stuff.

So this is a very interesting radio you have.

Very interesting radio thing if you have that.

You know

Because like that's

It just shows me

That you have like

Nothing going

No I got plenty

This is what we do man

I do this all the time

I get lots of

This is what you do

Like you know what I mean

Talk stupid

Yeah

And all the dumb hoes

Pick up in Boston

That's for sure

Really huh

People actually listen to this shit

People

Everybody loves this shit man

Not everybody

Because anybody with a half a brain

That I know don't listen

Anybody with a half a brain

Would listen to this show

Instead of eating

Your shitty ass pizza

Wow

That's right

Like you said

Everybody

That's why

God gave us choices

Choices, right?

Whatever the fuck you just said, right?

Somebody gave us choices.

Somebody did.

Yeah, well, all right, man.

Well, you're going to hell.

That's all I got to say.

That's all right.

All right, man.

As long as we have fun.

Yeah, that's right.

Well, I'll see you in hell then, buddy.

All right, talk to you later.

All right, listen.

Take it easy.

All right, Chief.

Bye.

Oh, well, I feel bad.

He was kind of looking like a nice guy.

That guy did sound like a sexy Zolar Mike and T says.

Mike and T-Y, whatever.

Is it Mike and T or Mike and T-Y?

I don't know what to say ever.

I think it's Mike and T.Y.

Irish only hit their women, that's true.

Yeah, if I was a woman down there with a skirt, you'd probably hit me.

KDK, don't take any offense to me making fun of gays.

I love gay people.

I love gay men.

No, I don't.

Let's see what's going on here.

PeopleLoyd is sending me,

Hey, check this out.

You need some backstory before you use these numbers.

There are the numbers for two notorious hillbilly and confirmed inbred ladies from back in my hometown.

town they live in a shack listen to police scanners on the front porch all day and they

talk with a hillbilly voice you have never heard before these two numbers are for inside of the

same house so he doesn't know which if i can but it'd be crazy funny if you were to three-way call

them and make them wake each other up uh anyway here come the numbers and folks are crazy inbred

and he sends me the numbers of evelyn and helena i guess they're related because they have the same

name, last name. So, yeah, um, most definitely, I'll give, uh, I love calling hillbilly women

up. They're great to, to bash on, so we'll, uh, we'll try that. Uh, let me see what else

is going on in the chat room. People are talking about that last call, about the donuts and

everything. That guy was interesting. Uh, he, he tried hating on me, but whatever. Alright,

everybody, if you want to join in the show, someone tried to call during that call, um,

by all means, please try to call me back. Uh, the number is 888-278-8509. Once again,

Again, that's 888-278-8509.

Also, if you want to reach me on AOL Instant Messenger, you can reach me at Madhouse Live.

Once again, no, fuck that.

Reach me at Madhouse Radio.

I always do that shit.

Madhouse Radio on AOL.

Yahoo Messenger, Madhouse Live Radio.

Madhouse.

Fuck me, man.

I can't do this shit right.

Yahoo is Madhouse PCU Radio.

I'm high off my ass.

Madhouse PCU Radio.

And MSN is MadhousePCURadio at Hotmail.com.

Okay.

Bearings here.

I've got a bunch of...

I would have liked to have called that Badass Coffee, but apparently they're not legit.

But we'll call the Carter family here as a request from Peoploid, everybody.

So hang on.

Maybe they're still awake.

We'll see.

I don't know where they are.

506 area code.

I have no idea where the 506 is.

You're on the madhouse

Hey what's up

Screaming at me again

Oh hey

What's up man

Nah

Trying to keep it

Different

Anyway

Trying to keep it different

Yeah

I don't know

It's weird

Hearing the stream

And hearing my voice

And it's a completely

Different timing

So

I'm gonna turn down the scream

That's a very good idea

And

Yeah

I don't know

Let's keep it real

Let's make shit happen

How old are you

I'm actually 23

Right now

23

I turned 23

On the 6th of August

On the 6th. So, did you drink more alcohol before or after you turned 21?

Definitely after.

Do you think George Bush hates black people?

Absolutely. I think you Americans, to wake up, in my personal opinion, not that Canada is any worse or any better,

but corruption is worth millions and your corruption is worth hundreds of billions.

That's right.

So, my opinion, you know, but I would never join the army.

You wouldn't, huh?

Yeah, not that I want to make this a political hour, but...

No, that's fine. We can get political.

It's getting pretty ridiculous, and you people aren't really understanding it.

Man, what do you mean, you people?

I mean, not you people. I don't mean that in a racist sense.

I know, I'm just playing.

Americans in general, you guys all realize the fact that it's getting pointless,

but you can't do anything about it, and that's what I find humorous about the whole...

America's just nostalgic for the 50s and 60s,

and they're trying to believe that it's still the 50s and 60s,

but it's not.

It's not the 30s, 40s, 50s, and 60s.

It's fucking 2000, almost to the 90s.

It's 2005, and shit's changed.

Technology and everything has made other countries viable politically and economically.

But I think the biggest laugh of it all is that you think you're a democracy.

And if you look at the voting history

And you look at the past

You're anything but a democracy

And that's what you're fighting for

But on a lighter note

I don't want to get into that shit

Because it's, I don't know, 30 years

And I'm ready to have some fun

But I'm just calling it even

Well, have you been drinking tonight or anything?

What's going on?

Absolutely, I don't know, for some reason

But my welfare family has really turned me on

To beer and, like, Clamato

You know, when you mix that shit together

It's pretty stupid

It's a pretty trick drink

But if you drink, like, 15 in a row

You get pretty fucking pissed, eh?

Wait, you're mixing beer and Clamato?

Yeah

Now, what kind of beer are you mixing?

You could even mix, like, the cheapest beer

Like, I'm talking, like, OE's, right?

Right

You could do that

And mix it with, like, Clamato

And it makes the beer just that much better

or you just have to try it for, like, you know, a couple sessions, and then you're hooked.

But isn't, Clamato's clam juice and tomato juice, right?

Yeah, dude.

Yeah, like, mock shit.

Or you could even just straight tomato juice.

But it tastes like absolute shit for, like, the first, but then you get used to it,

and you're like, Jesus, fuck, this is an actual pretty good drink.

And then you could drink, like, OE's and stuff like nothing.

Pretty cheap drunk.

Okay.

Well, good night.

That sounds, I'll take your Canadian word for it, man.

That's insane.

Absolutely, man.

Keep listening to the show

You stay black

I'm doing the best I can

You're doing good

Thank you for joining in

Spread the word to all your 23 year old friends

What are the laws in Canada

You're 23

What's the youngest you can sleep with

18 right now

Actually I believe it's 14

But you're not going to cut me off like that

We're going to prank before you cut me off

You want to do another prank

There were some complaints about the last one

I don't know

Oh, man, well, I'll tell you what.

Let me see here again.

We got the Grinds Cafe and Espresso.

I usually, I can only get business.

Well, when you do me shit like that, like the Grinds Expressing,

like, what do you expect?

It's going to be shit either way, right?

No, you just jump in there and say some crazy shit.

I mean, if someone's answering the 238,

and it's only like 8 o'clock over there,

you get in and just say some bullshit story about you came in

and something happened.

It's really all you got to go with.

It's not.

All right, well, we'll hook it up, and I'll work with it.

All right, well, we'll see what happens.

But when you're dealing me crap like that, and you're telling me that I'm sucking on air, that's not cool.

All right, I didn't say you suck on air, dude.

I just said that some people were saying some shit about your last call.

That's all I said, man.

I don't need to take offense.

All right, well, let's make it happen, then.

All right, let's make it happen.

All right, dude.

Calm down.

All right, everybody.

Tough guy's going to be on the line here, and we'll have the next prank call.

Be back in just one moment.

You're listening to The Man Out.

Brothers and sisters.

We're going to have church tonight, and tonight this speaker is Reverend Rufus Johnson.

Code now.

Para mensajes en español, Marquez.

Fly, feeling down, I taste the stress away.

That's why I bizarre smoke ten blood days.

Ain't stuff up likely, I got a blunt in my mouth, so sit and chill.

I got some pills, and here are the fucking refills.

Jesus, you didn't sound that friendly like 10 minutes ago when I was in there.

I'm sorry.

I'm wondering why you came in there and I ordered like a big brew and you're acting all uppity.

Me?

You know, like, yeah.

You sound just the same as when I walked in.

And I don't mean to sound rude or anything like that.

You guys are really off your mark tonight.

Like, your people called me a faggot tonight and that was absolutely uncalled for.

Oh, I'm sorry. I apologize for the belligerence, but your people call me a faggot tonight, and I come there, like, every other day, and I was absolutely appalled, and I completely cannot understand your rationale.

Yeah, sorry.

She was blonde, and I've come there about every other day now,

and everything has gone just great except for tonight when it was, I mean,

my coffee was just a tad too cold, and I asked her to warm it up,

and she gave me such attitude, and I was absolutely appalled when she was like,

here's your fucking order, faggot, and I was like, oh, my goodness.

Who said this?

You know, I'm there, I'm, pardon me?

Who said this to you?

I really don't recall her name, but it was long, blonde hair.

She had a ponytail, and all I wanted to do was warm up my crappuccino

and just do my thing like I do every other day, and that was it.

I don't want to cause a scene or anything,

but I just had to let you know that this is just...

What can I do? Pardon me?

Who was this? When did this happen?

I don't know. About an hour and a half ago.

We don't even have any waitresses who will go on hair work tonight.

No, about an hour and a half ago.

I just asked her to warm up the crab and that was it.

She gave me the stare like it was death.

I mean, it was warm right after she gave me it, but I mean, my heart stopped.

It was like, just get me over it.

And I don't really understand what to do.

Like, I can come back in there and raise shit, but I'm really not like that.

I can, I can just, what, I, what do you suggest, like?

I didn't have any blonde waitresses working the last hour and a half, I'm the only girl

here, and I haven't even made a cappuccino tonight, I.

Jesus.

This was an hour and a half ago, you say?

Absolutely, yeah.

And a blonde waitress said this to you?

Pretty much, blonde, yeah, like, I mean, I wasn't really paying much attention, till

she delivered me the cup, and I was on my way out, and I was, I was, like, I'm still,

It's like a blur

You know

It's just like a blur

And this was tonight

I don't

For me

This evening

Absolutely

It was an hour and a half ago

And I came in

And

I ordered

And

I mean

I was doing pretty

Pretty good

Yeah

Right

You know

Sitting there with my iBook and shit

And

I go up and I order another

And she gives me this shit

And I'm

I'm staring at her

Like

Like she doesn't know what she's doing

And she just turns away

Like

It's not

Not a big deal

And then I turn to her, I'm like, you know, when I stare at her, and she just smiles politely and leaves.

She knew exactly what was wrong.

And I still, I'm still fuming.

I'm still fuming.

I have your mug.

I paid $10.99 for your mug.

And what do I get from it?

Nothing.

All I get from it is attitude, you know.

And I'd be happy with cock, but no attitude.

Not even cock and attitude.

All I get is a plain fucking look.

Oh I'm sorry

Jesus I swore

I didn't mean to swear

All I get is a plain attitude

Pardon me

I'm sorry

I'm just very fucking

I'm

I apologize again

I am very irate

Right now

All I get is attitude

And

And a shitty fucking

Shitty coffee

I apologize

You know

And then

And then she stares at me

Like a blank

Blank stare

I didn't get

No fucking sprinkles

I didn't get no fucking

Mephine

I didn't get offered

Fucking cinnamon

For my goddamn

Goddamn.

One second.

I'm ready.

No, I'm ready.

Okay.

The other day, you know, I care about you people.

You guys are a corporate media whore, but I still want copies of this shit.

Copies.

But Carmen, she's pretty new because I haven't seen her before.

What I'm going to do, she's going to be in there, right?

She did.

Hold it up.

And it was a year before he beat up this fucking whore.

I didn't.

I can't zip it.

I can't talk.

What is it?

You're fucking kidding me.

Is this time?

You know, really?

Yeah, I don't know.

It's human.

Today, you're telling me that tonight, you're right.

You're God.

For anything tonight, she wasn't in the goddamn party.

Let me reiterate.

Oh, no.

The supper week went out.

Two minutes.

Oh.

Hey, you there?

Yeah, that was way too long.

Yeah, that's fine.

It was good, though.

It was pretty good.

Hang on.

I hope it was decent, at least, because that was pretty much bullshit on my end.

No, it sounded cool.

No, it was cool, man.

It was cool.

Well, either way.

I've got to scramble for a phone card now, phone card-wise, here.

Hopefully someone can send me a phone card.

I think Milkman's still on.

All right, well, if you're in it even farther, man, let me know, and we'll tag-team shit.

Okay, all right, man.

No problem, no problem.

All right, man, well, thanks for calling, though.

Thank you.

All right, you had a great call.

Thank you, man.

All right.

Alright, everybody, that was our Canadian caller once again, uh, coming through with another prank call, and now I am all of a sudden out of minutes, apparently, I remember now, I think Katie came, might have been using that card also, I don't know, whatever, um, fuck, an interesting call, uh, let me check in the, uh, chat room, yeah, I got a bunch of numbers here coming in from, uh, Misery sending me some stuff, some really funny names here on the chat, let me pull those up here, do-do, okay, I've got a, uh, Brickwood Cummings, uh, Brickwood Cummings in Hawaii,

Hawaii, a Puanani Cummings in Hawaii also.

Yeah, he's telling me, and that's true, that is begging a call.

Puanani Cummings.

Oh, my God.

But in two minutes, I don't think I can do it.

What I'm going to have to do is take a break and see if I can figure out a way to get some more calls on here, on the air.

Matter of fact, fuck that.

I know what to do.

All right, everybody, I'm going to take a quick break, and I'll be right back.

And what I'm going to do is just get myself set up so I can get a hold of some more minutes here.

And we're going to do a few more prank calls before we call it a night.

We're going to the call on the line now.

Hang on here a second.

You're on the madhouse.

Ah, yeah.

How you doing, Carly?

Oh, yeah.

What's good, man?

How you doing?

Dupe.

Is it Dupe?

This is Dupe.

I call you Dupe, my man.

What's up, man?

Good, good.

What's up?

Good, good.

Hey, man.

I've got a crisis.

I just ran out of phone card juice.

I got like two minutes or one minute left, I think, or something now.

Ah, okay.

Ah, man.

It sucks, though.

What's been good, man?

What you been up to?

I just started school up taking film courses.

Taking film courses?

Yeah.

We're looking to get into, like, filming stuff, or, like, what exactly?

Yeah, making, like, experimental-type films, concept films, B-boy films, stuff like that.

That's cool.

You're going to a dedicated film school or, like, a university with a film college on it?

A university with a film college on it.

All right, that's cool.

They're one of the top ten experimental programs.

All right, that's cool.

That's cool.

Well, definitely, that's a good thing to get into, man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I already got a computer science running, so that funds everything.

think. Oh, okay. Yeah, I was a comp sci major, but I dropped out. I dropped out, but I got

like 20 credits to finish up, so I'm kind of doing both at the same time. Yeah, that's

cool. I decided not to go for comp sci because all the good jobs got outsourced, it looks

like, around here at least. There was a lot of outsourcing from the 90s out, so not much

money in it. What are you going to do now? What am I going to do now? I'm going to take

a break. I'm going to try to get another phone card here so I can make some more calls,

man, is what I'm going to try to do. Okay. Well, I'll let you take a break. You get a

card, maybe I could do

some pranks. Yeah, yeah, just call me back.

If you hear me and I got another card I'm set up, just give me

a call and we'll get that working.

Alright, stay chill, Carly. Alright, no problem. I'll talk to you later.

Peace. Alright, peace. Alright, man.

That was Dupe, everybody. Dupe in the chatroom. Thank you for

calling. Dupe, I forgot to tell him.

I think I mentioned him already. He has a prank

call on my page at

madhouselive.com

That's madhouselive.com

You can hear Dupe's prank call that he did

to a KFC in Hawaii, which

which was goddamn frickin' hilarious.

Pay him at 54 strats.

What the hell was that?

Milkman says some crazy shit sometimes, man.

Anyway, I got to take that break

so I can make some more calls.

I'm bullshitting, guys.

I'm going to be right back in a second,

so everybody just chill out for a few minutes.

I'll play some music,

and we'll come back and we'll do some more calls.

It is now 3.02 a.m. Eastern,

and you're listening to The Madhouse on PCU Radio.

Yo, Madhouse will be back right after this.

Fuck your life.

Nigga.

Nigga, fuck my life.

You've just been listening to a sample of The Madhouse.

If you like what you hear, be sure to listen in every Thursday night at 9.15 p.m. on PCU Radio,

your number one source for live and recorded prank calls.

For more information, visit madhouselive.com or kdkprankcalls.com.

Calls (5, 23 min of 59 min)

Transcript

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