2005-09-22 Show

The following is an exclusive of VCU Radio and MadhouseLive.com.

We eat every day.

These are home-ass niggas.

The weirdo is special blunts up.

You're now listening to Bizarre Solo Album.

Cap Circus.

And I'm your boy, Young Miles of Future.

And my man's about to get it crackin' for y'all.

The band has a new lead singer.

Everybody, put your motherfuckin' hands up for the number one weirdo.

Hit such a nigga with the shower cap

Kickin' a nasty, dirty 50 rap

My Detroit son in life

That's what it's about

I got two lesbians, full-blown AIDS

Full-blown AIDS

You never heard Bizarre, man

He's got AIDS

No, he just wants to fuck girls with full-blown AIDS

He wants to fuck lesbians

Here, listen

Put up your arms when it's too

It's where you find me

But downtown, well, it's gritty and grimy

The home of the cheap old

Troy?

He's from D12.

Oh, he's from everybody in D12, that's why.

Anyway.

Yeah, he's kind of weird.

He said the big dude in the D12 videos.

Oh, he's the big fat guy?

Yeah.

You know how anyone is a big fat guy.

Yeah, he's kind of sick, though.

He's like the sickest rapper.

Like, not sick like good, but sick like...

Sick like Biggie, like can't barely breathe.

Yeah, he can't breathe very much either.

But he makes like nasty raps, though.

Well, hey, everybody.

We're bullshitting over here.

We're finally on the air, and I'm like, what?

25 minutes late.

It's 941.

And I've been having the week from hell, and that's translated to tonight

because, actually, a lot of you know, well, some of you out there,

DTT in particular is very adamant about me fixing my Internet problems

that I've been having thanks to Bright House.

And they came out once, and they broke my entertainment center

in the process of trying to fix the problem and didn't fix it.

So that was Tuesday night.

Whoa, excuse me.

That was Tuesday night, but they came back out tonight just less than an hour ago.

Everything is fixed, so the phone lines will be up tonight.

I have to go turn the 800 number on, the toll-free lineup,

but I'll let you know when I do that after introductions are done and intros.

Anyway, so we're back.

We're 100%.

In theory, we should be able to have a normal show tonight,

so I'll be a late starting one.

Anyway, here with me I have Andy.

Of course, what's up, Andy?

Hey, what's up?

Top of the food chain.

Hey, hey, you're going to go by Andy, right?

That's the bottom line.

It doesn't matter.

All right.

Anyway, Athena is listening.

She'll be able to hear your calls, but she does not want to be on the air.

And I don't have an extra mic, actually, so she can't be on the air.

Are you going to the chat room with Tina, or are you just going to play your pogo?

She'll go in the chat room.

That's nice.

Hang on, let me turn this mic off here.

That sounds better.

Ah, see?

That's much better.

I'm going to need to run and get a cover for the mics.

So, damn it.

So the calls don't sound too bad.

Anyway, if you want to join the show, go to, for now, go to madhouselive.com, madhouselive.com.

and click on the Listen, Join icon on the front page,

and you'll see all the options to get a hold of us.

Of course, we're being broadcast right now on Prank Call Underground Radio, PCU.

You can visit that home page at kdkprankcalls.com.

Server Space is brought to you by Billy Mira, who does our Monday night show here.

Billy Mira from the Howard Stern Show on his server.

Actually, Dr. Legg, I'll take that back.

Dr. Lego, from the Billy Mirror show, and you can visit him over at pranktheworld.com.

That's his website.

So madhouselive.com, kdkprankcalls.com, and pranktheworld.com.

I believe it's pranktheworld.com.

Yeah, DTT's telling me to move to DirecTV, but no way, man.

DirecTV's whack.

My parents have DirecTV, and it sucks, man.

Like, I don't know.

Yeah. The only reason that I bother with Bright House is because their DVR is cheap.

Like, you only have to pay, what, five bucks a month?

Yeah, it's awesome.

Yeah.

You can't live without it.

Yeah, I'm so hooked on it now, and I have HD DVR.

I've got every single channel except for the Spanish channels,

and, like, the NBA and baseball packages, everything else I got.

I have the baseball package.

You did get the baseball package, yeah.

So can you record the baseball that comes on there?

Yeah, I record it and watch it when I go to work.

So who does all the comments?

This is like local stations, and they just rebroadcast it?

Yeah, they just pick up whatever the cable feed is, the Fox feed usually.

Fox Sports.

Okay.

So I got to watch the Cubs lose like 80 games.

Oh, that sucks, man.

Yeah, you're a Cubs fan, right?

Yeah.

I'm not much of a baseball fan, but I follow the Cubs for any and whatever.

All right, I'm getting numbers here from Lonesome.

Lonesome Lewis in the chat room, thank you very much.

He's Harry Dick.

Harry Dick, exactly, yeah.

They're all reliable.

There's always a Harry Dick out there

Yeah, that's just Harry Sachs and Harry Dick

We've got Irving S. Fuke

Saatchi Fuke

Harry and Cindy Holman

Holman

Remember Holzman?

Holzman, right?

Yeah, Holzman

Jimmy Boner

Joe Geek

Harry and Jackie Hooker

And Melvin Boner

So, I wonder how

I want to talk to Lonesome and find out

How is it that he actually finds

Does he just go and

I think he just makes up a funny last name

He'll like put in Boner

and find all the boners you can, right?

That's pretty much what he does.

I guess he finds them in Hawaii and shit.

And, yeah, see, he does Washington, Oregon, and Hawaii.

Those are, because it's early over there.

It is 6.45 p.m. in the West Coast in California,

and it's around 4, I guess, 4.46 right now.

Maybe even 3.46 in Hawaii.

What time is it in Hawaii?

Give me that.

I think it's a two-hour difference from California, isn't it?

Damn.

I'm on call and my voicemail's going off for work.

I'm not going to answer it

I'll answer it

I'll take a break in a second

I'll answer it

It's too fucking late

For that shit man

God

Fucking people won't go to sleep

It's like 10 o'clock

You're okay there

Yeah

It's like 10 o'clock

Yeah

You know what

These are people on work comp

And they feel like lazy bastards

They're up all night

And they're like

You know

I'm going to go ahead

And wait until the last minute

Before I call

Oh yeah

They'll call

They'll call like

Yeah I need an Italian interpreter

That's why I would do that too

I would wait until the last minute

Because I'd be like

Look they got someone on call

There's some fucking

Fuck that

Fat Puerto Rican sitting around waiting.

That's his job.

Fat Puerto Rican and his boxers answering the phone.

If they didn't have the stuff I do while I'm talking to these people,

oh, Cubs suck go-cards.

Who said that?

I forget who that is exactly.

Oh, it's Cumbat.

Yeah, man.

Man up.

You disgust me.

Man up.

Cards are the win.

Are the win.

Cards for the win.

Someone set up the cards.

Yeah.

Jim Edmonds is gay.

Well, make yourself known.

If you want to call and talk Cubs, I'll put Andy on.

I hope not.

That would be terrible.

He could kill me.

All right, well.

I hate the Cardinals.

Then I won't give the toll-free number out for him.

Not to him.

Yeah, not to him.

Everybody else, if you want to call, 888-278-8509.

I'm pretty sure that's activated.

Let me check just in case.

We'll try it.

And we've tested the phone lines.

And we're 90, 90, Athena, what would you put, what would you estimate the chances that everything's going to work out tonight?

Well, give me a percentage.

I have a percentage.

98%?

I'm more of an 89%, but.

I'm going with 14.

14% from Andy.

Big Andy with 14%.

Thank you for your faith.

Well, let me, okay, the line is not re-enabled.

So if you try to call and you got a busy signal, try again.

But you know what?

You didn't try to call.

So nobody tried to call.

I know how you guys are.

You guys don't want to call until late.

You guys are busy doing stuff now still.

So anyway, big shout-out to the chat room, everybody in there, Misery's in.

He had some problems with Time Warner also.

He was talking to me about that during the week.

I was bitching about it.

Milkman, that's right.

Milkman is actually buying me a phone card because he only had one hour left on his.

I had an hour's plenty of time.

I made him go out to buy a new phone card.

I know.

Oh, man.

I'll be right back.

I'll be there in a little bit.

Well, he's been gone for a while because it's across the street from him.

It's like a, whatchamacallit, whatchamacallit?

Having fun in the party room.

It's like an anti-seize.

In the party room.

If he was out right now, he'd be like, yeah, baby.

Yeah, in the party room.

Yeah.

Oh, man.

Yeah.

I like the best is when he does a little, like, the little promo.

The car lead on the matter.

Yeah, yeah.

I like, yeah, I got to get him to record some promos for me.

Just, you know, he should be, I got to get him to do that.

I don't know if he, yeah.

I'm sure he would.

He's down for anything.

Yeah, what's he doing?

I don't know. He's always on my computer.

He's like, do you need any phone cards?

I'll go get them.

I'll be right back, sir.

Thank you very much, Milkman.

I hope nothing happened to him.

I hope he didn't fall down or something on the way there.

There's a lot of Jamaicans. I don't know.

He's got some weird stories.

Virgin Islands is a really weird place.

They're dangerous. No, they're pretty safe.

Those are friendly blacks over there, man.

They're island blacks.

Don't we see the Marines there all the time?

That's Haiti.

Is it Haiti?

I don't know.

Where's Granada?

South America.

Okay, so that's not the Caribbean then, right?

Granada was an island though, right?

And Ronald Reagan sent some troops down there for like a weekend?

Yeah, I saw that movie with Clint Eastwood.

That's all I know about it.

Heartbreak Ridge.

Really?

Anybody who wants to know further about Granada can rent that movie.

And fast forward it until like the last half hour and then watch that.

Is Ronald Reagan like appearing?

He shows up, yeah.

Yeah, Clint Eastwood's pinned down, and Ronald Reagan and the Monkees are in a helicopter,

and he's strafed the Cubans.

And the Cubans are there, they're like, oh, there's Cubans, and the Cubans have, like, a bulldozer.

It's like the big battle, the Cubans on a bulldozer.

Cubans on a bulldozer?

Yeah.

I think I saw that.

They're like, those Cubans have a bulldozer.

Everybody's like, we better get out of here.

Really?

Yeah.

Really?

Yeah, but then they kill it.

You know, the Cubans can't fight that good compared to, you know, Americans.

They got a lot of spirit, but Puerto Rican's never won anything either, man.

There's never been a successful Puerto Rican wrestler in the WWE.

What about Savio Vega?

Yeah, never did.

Savio Vega?

Who's Savio Vega?

Savio Vega.

I don't remember.

Wasn't he in The Nation?

The Nation?

Nah, he sucked, though, man.

Remember Coco Beware?

He was good.

He was in Puerto Rican, though.

He was Dominican.

He was black.

He was Dominican.

He was really black.

Yeah, man, he should have been Dominican if it was Coco Beware with, like, a parrot.

Yeah, he had the bird.

I liked the bird man.

He was, like, my favorite when I was a kid.

Junkyard Dog was a man, though, man.

And when Mr. T wrestled Junkyard Dog, that was a good fight.

No, you know who, remember that bad guy, Bad News Brown?

Bad News Brown.

And he used to put his hand on the top of your head, and then he'd kick you in the back of the head like the ghetto blaster.

I don't remember that, no.

Ooh, Bad News Brown.

Hey, in senior year English, you wrote a story about something in your life.

He said we had to write an essay about the biggest thing in our life

or something really major to happen in our life.

And you wrote it about two wrestlers.

I don't think I did.

You drew a picture of two wrestlers.

One was hitting the other one in the back with a steel chair.

I don't think I did that.

Yeah, you did.

It doesn't sound good.

See, you never wanted to admit to all this shit.

I just don't remember it at all.

It was a hand-drawn picture with crayons, and it was like some wrestler I hit in the

back with another one.

You were in my senior.

You showed it to me.

You showed me the picture.

Dude, I was in AP, and you were in English for the second leg.

No, I wasn't, man.

I was Mr. Edmunds' class.

You weren't in my English, but I didn't draw a picture.

Yes, you did.

We had a draw a picture, and I drew a picture.

I forgot what I drew a picture of.

I forgot.

It was probably Star Trek or something like that.

I don't know.

God, that thing is going on.

Athena, can you get that for me?

We'll put it on the air

So you guys can see

What I deal with

And work

There's no one

No one drew a picture

Of a wrestler

Yeah

The last time I remember

Drawing a picture for school

Was like

Mike Tyson

Tyson?

Yeah

I was like 6th grade

Oh my god

What's that noise?

That's this

Hang on everybody

We're gonna put you

You guys are gonna hear

What I gotta deal with here

Let's see if it's

A Hispanic person

What if it's a live person?

It's gonna be a voice

It's always a voice recording

Ah thank you

She brings the cover

It's good right there

Thank you very much Athena

Athena

That sounds horrible

It was my mom

Hello

No I can't put her on

Last time

No last time

She freaked out

She got mad at me

She called me

I was telling her

To speak English

She's gonna call right back

And yell at you

Well I wanted to put her on

But she

I know I heard that

She wouldn't

I can

I can call it

I can do her voice

No no no

She will curse me out

She gave me such hell

She's like

You disrespect me

If I don't want to

You just hung up on her

See she's already

Calling back

Yeah, you gotta talk to her now.

I gotta take, hang on everybody, let me play some music because she gets mad if she goes on here.

Hey, you're a dick.

I'm not a dick.

You just hung up on your mom.

Hey, she'll be fine.

She'll be fine.

Alright, Phil, listen to this, everybody.

Hello, you're on the Madhouse.

You're on the Madhouse.

Oh, my God.

Hey, Randy.

Yeah.

What's up?

I know his voice.

What's up, Randy?

How them cubs doing?

Not too good.

We won today.

The entire game.

How them cubs doing?

How are they beating the cards?

Not very often.

This year we beat you more often

We won the season series

Which is kind of a bonus for me

I can barely hear you

I can't speak

It's so awkward

We suck, you're right

Everything works for the Cardinals

It must be great being a Cardinal fan

Congratulations

Way to go out there

And really choose a team that might struggle

I'm supposed to be a Cardinals fan

I mean, I'm from the area.

Where are you from exactly again?

Well, actually, I'm technically from St. Louis, but now I live in...

You're in Canada.

Oh, yeah, I live in Canada.

You should like the Blue Jays.

Yeah.

I live about 1,000 miles from Canada.

I think you just said you lived in Canada.

No, I said everybody thinks I live in Canada.

You live in South Canada.

I live in Illinois, so...

You live in Canada.

I've seen your caller ID from, like, Ontario or something like that.

Now you're trying to be American.

I said, now you're trying to be American.

I've seen your caller ID.

You come from a toll-free number to me?

Hey, you checked my caller ID.

What does it say?

Yeah, what does that area code 309's from?

309.

Nah, this is...

Well, you're calling me from a toll-free number.

I don't know what that's all about.

What are you calling me from, a pay phone?

Oh, no, I'm actually calling from my home.

I'm on the run.

You have a toll-free number at your home?

That's weird.

You have a toll-free number at your home.

Oh, no, wait.

No, no, no.

Yeah, my caller ID must be fucked up,

because it's telling me my...

Oh, that's what comes up on my ID when I call people.

Toll-free number.

It says 888-278-8.

That's cool.

My only two numbers I should have is 000-123-456.

That's my Skype out and home.

Okay.

All right.

Your home I see here is, hang on.

I'm not going to give it down.

Why don't you give us your phone number?

That'd be funny.

No, man.

Randy's cool, man.

Maybe no one's going to call him.

Hey, Randy.

Randy, you want to do a call, man?

I don't know, just because of the audio problems I'm having right now.

I just really wanted to get my comments about the Cubs and the Cards.

Okay.

All right.

Wow.

Hey, what's your football team, Randy?

What?

What's your football team?

The Rams.

Okay, they suck.

Well, they used to not suck.

Yeah, well, that was a few years ago, and now they suck.

So, there.

Hey, what about those Bears?

If you're a Bears fan.

We're in first place.

What do you think about that, Junior?

First place.

They aren't going to win this year.

They aren't going to win next year.

They've won, like, once.

That was a good year, though.

I really, football, I really go for both teams

because I don't really care who wins a Rams and a Bears game.

We're just thinking you're very wise.

Yeah, but I've seen the Rams and the Bears play in a game.

I mean, I've seen them in real life.

I mean, I don't watch them.

I wasn't watching TV.

So what did you learn at Canadian school this week?

Who did they say won the war in 1812?

Uh, well, asking Izzy, he says he learns his class.

I learn my classes, I mean, in French, even though I don't know any French, so.

That's your mom?

Thanks, I'm retarded, and I have Down syndrome.

They're teaching you French, and you have Down syndrome?

Yep, because I don't know French, and every Canadian knows French.

Yeah.

The only French I know is how to say, I surrender.

Very good.

So everything in Canada, everything has to be in two languages, right?

Or is that just in certain provinces?

Uh, I think everywhere.

Really?

So, like, all official signs?

Izzy lives in, like, the Niagara Falls area.

Okay.

Oh, Izzy, all right.

Yeah, what happened with y'all's show?

You and Izzy were doing a show over Skype or something, right?

I guess Izzy couldn't do it anymore, I don't know.

Because his dad, well, Izzy's pretty much MIA, right?

We don't know where it's up with him.

Oh, he's been around.

He called in last show.

Well, he didn't call in, but he was in the chat room because I said on the KDK show, I think.

Okay.

Yeah, that his mommy and daddy won't let him listen.

So I think I came off and he got into the chat room.

Okay.

All right.

Well, hey, Randy, well, thank you very much for calling.

If you feel inclined to do a call later on, by all means, call in and let me know, okay?

Well, see, I just don't really like your audio.

I don't like it.

Well, you can't hear me well because if I try to talk to you well, I'm actually, I get too close to Annie.

It's kind of uncomfortable.

I have to take a break and set it up so, you know, we're not going to be, I don't know, it's hard to say.

But it'll get better.

See, this is better, right?

You like?

Yeah.

See?

I don't want to get you any trouble with that.

All right.

I'm going to get next to him, and it isn't my thing.

It's obvious that you're not feeling it tonight.

You're not feeling the thunder.

So, you know, just go on, and please keep listening, though.

It's good to talk to you, man.

Okay, man.

I'll be listening to the rest of the show.

All right.

I'm kind of offended that you don't want to do a call, is all I've got to say, but fine.

How are you offended?

I don't know, man.

Look, you know, I have you on here all the time, and you don't want to make a call.

That's disrespectful.

respectful it's that's like hey i want to do i want to do calls in and kept disconnecting me

oh well yeah it was last yeah that's when we had the the phone problems man it's all because your

cable call cable company is a bunch of colon patrollers yeah they're a bunch of asses man

yeah it's okay half hat hour by the way is the ass hat hour still in existence yeah 12

12 midnight we're going to jump back on that we'll definitely what exactly is the ass hat hour what's

What's that?

Andy doesn't understand it.

Yeah, that's new to me.

Yeah, there's this dude that called someone an asshat in the chat room,

and one of the co-founders got mad, and he closed the chat room,

and he took us off the air and all this, and KDK and him were going to fight,

and they had to break it up.

The cops got called and stuff, and they were going to arrest KDK and all these charges.

So KDK just split, but now they're cool again and stuff.

stuff but uh we used to call the asset hour just to make fun of the word because it's a bunch of

shit i made up half of that story by the way but what it all came down to is like someone called

someone an asset in the chat room and that somebody was a really big friend of one of the

the co-owner of the station so he got pissed off and he and he closed us off oh my god yeah

so kdk had to take back over rachel douches in orlando florida wow okay well i got a later guys

All right, bye.

See you, Randy.

Later, Randy.

Yeah, Randy.

East Michigan, that's downtown.

That's, yeah, East Michigan.

Okay, that's close to that.

I got to take a break now because I got to talk to my mom.

I should have taken care of this earlier.

You just talked to her, though.

No, she said, I'm going to call you back for more information, which means I'm going to call you back.

So, I don't know.

She probably just wants to tell me about how expensive it is and to fix my car.

Because I have a cracked radiator.

4,000 pesos.

You have to pay lots of money.

I'm going to trade in the family donkey.

Oh, we only have four chickens left.

You can't get your waitress to fix.

How long does it sound like that?

She doesn't sound anything like that.

She sounds very articulate.

Like, she has a Castilian accent.

She sounds very articulate.

All the cows have not cow.

I don't know what he's talking about.

I don't know who it is you're describing.

Does your mom sound like?

Athena, does my mom sound like that?

No, she doesn't.

That's fucked up.

You two talked before the show.

All right, everybody, let me play something here for you guys,

and I'll come back and we'll get to the calls, I promise you.

I've got the numbers are coming in from Lonesome Loser.

If you want to join us in the chat room, you can go to kdkprankcalls.com.

Again, that's kdkprankcalls.com, and click on the chat icon.

You can also go to madhouselive.com and click on the listen, join link,

and there's a direct link to the chat.

You can join us in JavaScript through the direct link there at kdkprankcalls or for PCU.

Or you can, if you're an IRC, you can log into irc.lazy-net.de.

Once again, that's irc.lazy-net.de.

By all means, just go to madhouselive.com and click around.

Go to listen, join, and you can see how you can call in, how you can reach me on the instant messenger and everything like that.

My mouth, I'm really caught in my mouth right now.

You do a good job with that web page, Carlos.

I do.

You get a lot of information just right there.

Yeah, yeah.

I try to make it as easy as possible.

You learned that at UCF?

Yeah, I did.

Did your mom again?

That was my half of an education at UCF.

That's another toll-free number call.

All right, homo, you're going to have to call back.

This sucks.

You know what?

I can't see caller ID right now.

Why not?

I don't know.

It sucks.

And now the phone call died.

Oh, my.

I hope they hung up.

I hope this is not a sign of the internet dying again on us.

Motherfucker.

Anyway, look, I need to get some water because I'm all, like, do you hear that?

I have nothing in my mouth.

It's very bad because I haven't smoked.

Anyway, and plus I've got to talk to my mom, so let me play this.

I keep saying the same thing over and over again.

I never fucking get to it.

It's 10.05.

We'll be right back on the Madhouse.

I don't have time for tonight, man.

That's what I was trying to get out of you, you freaking freak.

I wasn't paying.

I thought you meant a dollar, and I thought you meant like you only had like 30 minutes.

No, no, no, no.

We have an hour.

but now I've got like

a lot in about

two thousand

it took you a while

did you shop around

that's what I said

I had to drive

oh you had to drive

I went through a gauntlet

I had cops chasing me

and everything

woo man

he was like

pull that damn

rascal's scooter over

I said shit

hell hell

I'm trying to make it home

man I can't

I'm going to fill up

my deep ends

so they just kind of

let me go with a break

and a warning

hey Milkman

let me ask you

you're from Texas right

hell no

I ain't no damn

Texas redneck

god damn it

Now, shit, you crazy bastards.

What the hell are you?

Where are you from exactly?

I'm a damn freak, man.

I'm from outer space.

I'm an alien.

Tell us the truth now.

I know you used to be a farmer.

I was a farmer back in the day, man.

I used to kick turds up there in the pasture, son.

Yeah, up there in the hills of West By God, Virginia, in Ohio, the southeastern corner, man, the growing capital of the southeast.

feast you freak us out sometimes fortunately fortunately i'm retired this is subway in

kodiak arkansas andy what are you doing my son my friend not much it's good hey hey all right

well i'm glad you're back man we missed you glad you got to make her back i hope uh yeah everything

thing square over there i remembered my phone this week yeah all right well i am having i am

having a dedication here dedication swag here i got a big old jamaican laga red stripe won't get

up red stripe when i'm uh working on as we speak what what do you what are you celebrating

something what are you talking about no i i'm just celebrating since i got off on that ticket

man just melt me on the birthday oh yeah yeah halloween baby halloween it's halloween it's

my birthday. Milkman, you're going to be a father. Milkman, it's your birthday. Everybody

who wants to announce the news that Milkman is now going to be a father. Yeah, it's his

birthday. Yeah, man. I'm going to have a little pumpkin and a little turd. Yeah, so is it

going to be white or black? Do you know yet? Milkman's got to wait until it comes out before

he knows whether or not it'll be white or black. Yeah, exactly. I'm really hoping it's

black. It'll be brown for sure. It's going to come out beige. Oh, yeah, man. Yes, I

We're in the Virgin Islands, man.

Virgin Islands.

What if you got a virgin island?

Hey, we got chocolate milk here.

I don't know about that, man.

Isn't there a lot of hepatitis on there and stuff?

They got all them flus.

They got all those European viruses.

Wow, man.

Yeah, they do.

Yeah, you got to watch out with that.

No, you guys are sicker than we are.

Do you think?

Uh-uh.

I'm good, man.

Every time I'm on it.

I'm telling you.

He can hear you on here.

What?

These people here are healthy.

Oh, really?

I keep on lunging forward.

Yeah, yeah.

All right.

I do it, too, on accident.

yeah these people are healthy man are you sure it's amazing hell yeah man do you check your

papers i'm telling you what the shit's clean damn i'm telling you son wow no man well oh yeah

i would never no i would never do anything with a dominican woman that's just wrong

it's wrong for uh for um hispanics across yeah for puerto rican and dominicans across

Oh, shit.

It's good, man.

It's all good once you're up in there.

Both sides would mobilize their armies immediately and force separation.

Didn't your daddy tell you that?

It's all good once you're up in there, son.

You don't know how fierce a rivalry is down there.

Well, it's amazing then because actually if we keep the peace here,

we've got a pretty good plan, man.

But, yeah, man, I've got quite a few South Sea Duff friends.

All right.

Well, good.

Wow.

So, anyway, congratulations on the son.

I hope you have a son, and it will be your second, right?

It will be your second or third?

Actually, that will be good, man.

I'll take a son, man.

The trisexuals are kind of hard to explain to people.

You know, they'll try anything sexual.

Okay.

So, you're giving birth to your own child?

Well, actually, yeah, I'm going to hatch up a big one in just a little bit, man.

A couple of beers there and give me a bean burrito and have me a little brown puppy.

So you impregnated yourself, and you still don't know

whether or not it's going to be a white or black baby.

Well, actually, I didn't have to impregnate.

No, I'm asexual, man.

I don't have to impregnate myself.

I just automatically start dividing.

My nucleus does.

You're going to have a baby car.

That's what's going to happen.

It's crazy.

There's my phone again, man.

Is it?

Carlo.

Sex is only just for, you know, fun.

Carlo.

We have a lot of new, a great theater.

Oh, my God.

A puppy.

Carlo.

I hope it doesn't work.

Because they can call me at the last minute

What time are you officially off

Off the air

No off of a call

Next Friday

I mean are you allowed to go to sleep at night

No I absolutely have to

I've gotten calls at 3 in the morning sometimes

For like an interpreter

At the Florida hospital

Like the hospital

We got a contract with them

We got a lot of tourists here in Orlando

So they get a lot of people who don't speak English

They get a lot of French tourists and Japanese

Why do those people call you? You don't speak those languages.

Oh, but I have a list of interpreters we have on call.

Oh, you have to call them?

We pay them extra on their salary to be on call.

Can I work as an interpreter for anyone that speaks English? That would be a sweet job.

For British?

Yeah, like someone from Britain or Australia,

Ireland, Scotland.

I'm Scottish myself, so I can connect with those people very easily.

You can't speak that Scottish to have a different language.

I understand it, though.

Like, there's a guy who put the video cameras up where I work so our boss can monitor us.

Right.

He was from Scotland.

Really?

Yeah, I understood him.

He said cunt a lot.

Oi, laddie.

No.

What was that?

He was like, Willie.

Oi, laddie.

Willie from the 60s.

No, that sounds weird.

Did you score to beat me up, laddie?

No, he'd be like, hey, you fucking bastard, and he'd walk around.

He was mean.

He was like a mean little guy.

Yeah, they're all mean over there.

Like, my grandparents who are Scottish, they're all mean.

Yeah, he should die.

Mean, vicious people.

Milkman, let's do some calls, man.

We gotta try calls.

Hey, Coop.

You got a card, or do I need to send you these?

I got a stack.

Send me one.

Send me the toll-free.

Yeah, we'll just use your stack.

Yeah, we'll use your stack.

I got plenty of cards now.

Yeah.

Thank you very much.

Since I got a ticket and just escaped by the cranes of my life there.

You got to be careful with that, man.

Those cops on there, they don't play.

Do the cops drive those weird SUVs over there, those Mitsubishis?

No.

Actually, I think they got, like, a few of them are the Monte Carlos.

Those, you know, the, I mean, what's going on with the red, the round rear taillights?

An Impala.

Yeah, that's it.

Okay, that's it.

Sorry.

Impala.

Now you got it.

I mean, it was an oldie.

And they've got a few SUVs.

Those are hot, right?

Ford's and a couple of others.

They've got a new bunch of shit now.

I don't know why.

Hell, you've got to see, there's more wrecked police cars than trucks and people on the road.

Do they even have, like, highways in the Virgin Islands?

Like, I would imagine there would be no road for a highway.

Yeah, we've got a horse that drags up in the middle of the pass there.

No, I'm not trying to say that.

It takes the cow turds out of the way.

You said all that.

I'm just saying, like, you know, is there a highway?

Like, can you go and get on from Main Street to, you know, U.S. too?

Yeah, what's it called?

What are the highways called?

Can you drive on your car?

It's really cool because if you come down here, you know, it's like country directions.

Well, you go down there by the gas station, take a ride over there,

and you go down three more streets and take a ride.

There's no signs.

No roads or nothing.

It's pretty much like the Virgin Islands.

I always tell when one of these tourists, you know, or one of these Americans come up and one of the Yankees show up,

because they're like, hey, man, how do I get from Route 77 over to 26?

I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about?

It's pretty much like lawless there, right?

You can do whatever you want, like white slavery.

Yeah, it's pretty cool, man.

Like, I was chugging that beer all the way down the road without anything wrong.

They don't worry about it.

I was doing about 80 on my rascal scooter in the wrong lane.

It was cool, man.

You're drinking and driving in a rascal scooter?

Oh, hell yeah, man.

It's cool, man.

If the cops pull you over, man, they'll have to hold your beard and see if you've got any extras, man.

They're cool.

Wow.

Yeah, they're pretty lenient.

In Puerto Rico, they'll let you do anything.

You can get away with murder.

I was in Puerto Rico, and I was snorting coke off a hooker's ass crack, and then I snapped a goat's neck.

And no one said anything.

Bitch, you're too afraid to go to court.

That's some serious real crack there.

Real crack.

Ass crack and crack.

I snapped the goat's neck like it was nothing.

Like it was nothing.

I just snapped his neck.

Well, better to have some goat water, man, than have to choke the chicken.

Whee!

That's right.

I'm having a coughing attack, like usual.

Damn.

We've been smoking quite a bit, Annie.

Athena, do you want to partake?

You drive?

Athena said she'll fall asleep immediately.

Yeah, she does.

She doesn't last very long.

Yeah, we tried smoking.

We smoked like at 5 o'clock one day or 4 o'clock, and that was it.

She was out.

She was out for the whole night.

It was crazy.

Anyway, what's going on?

We've got people talking about Ireland.

His first experience was walking in Ireland at night.

A car full of kids drove by, throwing eggs at random people.

You know, I did that in Daytona Beach on spring break.

And we got chased down with a group of college students once.

I remember that.

We were in a convertible.

What's that car?

Was it a Celica?

Yeah, it was a convertible Celica.

My ex-girlfriend Stephanie's car.

We were throwing eggs at people.

And I learned the trick to egg somebody when they're walking.

You can only do it perfectly if they're walking towards you.

Like, if you're both going opposite directions, you know what I mean?

Like, if he's coming at you, walking towards you, and you're going the other way.

So you can see the fear in their eyes.

Yeah, well, I hit this kid who was on a bike.

Yeah, you shouldn't have done that, because, like, mobility is your enemy.

I hit him on the top of the head with an egg, and he fell off his bike.

And he had this goofy-ass, dumb smile, and I hit him on the top of the egg,

and on the head with an egg.

Excuse me.

Bless you.

And he fell down off his bike.

Bless you.

I saw it in the rearview mirror, and I felt bad.

I felt bad.

And then we threw it into this crowd of people, and then we kept driving for a while,

and then traffic stopped because it backs up on Daytona Beach on the strip.

It was people going up and down with their cars just showing off.

Because there's a lot of honeys out there.

Yeah, there are.

And I would drive out there in my 85 Thunderbird with the front all beat up.

You would do that?

Yeah.

Really?

The slow, slow cruise.

Two miles an hour, so everybody sees you.

Everybody knows what I'm representing.

What do you represent?

Chi-Town?

No.

Well, we're in Deltona, Carlos.

Yeah, that's right, D-Town.

I don't know, this is nothing for Deltona.

What did those wiggers in here call it?

They were saying something.

Detona? Something?

Del City.

Yeah, that's dumb.

Del City, Del City.

What the fuck, Del City?

I would say, I would think if you said Del City, I would think, you know,

everywhere around here doesn't know, but, you know,

the land is right next to Deltona.

It's a far huger metropolis.

Del City, oh, ho.

It loans to give me some numbers for people in Deltona, Florida.

You got one once.

I remember.

It just popped up.

I was like, hey, that's where I was born.

So that's where I was.

I was raised in Deltona.

Andy lived the majority.

No, you didn't live in the majority of your life there, right?

No, I don't know.

You lived around Central Florida, right?

It's close.

Yeah.

For the most part, you went to high school there and shit.

Anyway.

I'll call some of them damn freaks over here in Crystal River, man.

Crystal, yeah, because they got the nuclear plant out there.

That's why.

That's where I worked at, man.

Big old nuclear.

Nuclear.

So you worked there, and then you made enough money there to retire?

Yeah.

No, man, I made enough money there to come work in the refinery, son.

Yeah, he was...

Now I don't have to milk cows except for fun.

Yeah, see, he used to milk cows in the army.

Yeah.

Right?

Weren't you, like, in...

Yeah.

Yeah, he was undercover in Afghanistan as a milk farmer.

What?

Yeah.

In India.

I'm sorry, was it India or Pakistan?

What was it?

Indiana?

I would believe...

Yes, I got to fucking go home.

No, man, we need you to go undercover.

We need you to go undercover milking cows in Indiana.

We need you to infiltrate this.

Larry Bird is bringing guns into the state.

Salt Lake, Indiana.

Well, actually, see, I've got a few Amish relatives in my family.

That's how the tradition got started.

Y'all did the Amish, you did.

So now you own, like, a big ranch and you live on it in the Virgin Islands?

I live right on the side of a big mountain here, and it's terraced off,

and I've got goats out here running around eating the weeds off the side of the hill

and shitting everywhere.

and got me some Holstein and Red Cinnabon cattle.

Wow.

Pretty good living.

That sounds pretty good.

We've got to go there.

Yeah.

How far?

Right up on the other side of the mountain, too, man.

It's called Weed Mountain.

If I send you...

The other side of the mountain is Weed Mountain.

Weed Mountain.

But is there weed there?

Oh, man.

Where is that shit?

We're in the tropics, baby.

It's like 90 degrees year-round.

So if we go there, you're going to get us some killer, right, Bill, man?

Oh, how dare you.

So, Bill, man, if we send you...

Need you to ask?

Well, man, if we send you an address, will you mail two, yeah, will you mail two road

trip plane tickets here?

Three.

So we can go to the Virgin Islands.

Yeah.

If we send you our address, we'll do that.

Yeah.

Okay.

All right.

Well, I need them addresses right away.

All right.

Oh, yeah.

There we go.

Carl's will give you his address, and you will send it.

First class, please.

But, you know, it's not like a sticking point.

It's not a problem.

I got it.

Yeah.

I didn't think you wanted them flat-carded.

And then there could be, like, a special Madhouse edition from the Virgin Islands.

From the Virgin Islands, yeah.

Oh, hell yeah, man.

We could do that.

Oh, yeah.

We'll go down to the Cruisin' Rum Distillery, man.

We'll get topped off, and I'll take you up there to see the drinking pig, man.

Buster the Drinking Pig.

Who the hell is Buster the Drinking Pig?

That's Milkman's best friend.

Milkman sees him as my roommate.

Buster the Drinking Pig.

Some people have the pink elephant.

And Milkman has Buster the Drinking Pig

He always bitches about me

For leaving the bathroom a mess

Buster the

He speaks with a Cockney accent

And he's like

He's got the spectacles on

He looks a lot like Winston Churchill

But a big pig

Right?

Is that how it is?

He's a cop

Like a Yardie

Not a Yardie

Yardies are

Bad boys

Yeah

Black gangsters

From Britain

Yeah

They're like

I read that

This one Yardie guy

Pushed a bullet

Through someone's skull

To kill her

Pushed it through

What?

I don't know.

I think that's bullshit.

Look, Lonesome Loser already

coming through with

Michelle Ho-Ben in Deltona.

A woman answered at 1025.

I'm going to Google map that real quick

so we can see where in Deltona it is.

The Gore...

I don't know where that is.

I never...

There's so many streets in that fucking...

I know.

It's the largest town in the world.

Yeah, it is like...

Oh, whoa.

Google's nice,

but get my...

Damn, hold that long end, son.

Yeah, man.

Drop the long end.

He had to rip his headset off.

Push it back down his throat.

He may need it.

He may need to breathe.

All right.

Damn.

Wow.

Scrape up them chunks, man, and I'll spread it together and make a sandwich.

That was like an aftershock.

That was like, you know, a good 30 seconds after I hit it, and then I'm like.

I was good, though.

You got a lot in your lungs, bro.

That was terrible.

I cut up.

I got to slow down, man, because I'm like, wow.

You got to watch out when them eyes get real red, you know, coin slots, man.

and start popping out of his head, man, Carlito Duck.

I know, I always like that.

My eyes are always red.

Well, yeah, but yeah, anyway, I'll watch out for that.

I'm being called by everybody.

Jesus Christ, listen to this music while I handle this.

I've got to babysit the work again.

Hang on, everybody.

Look, man, talk away.

I'll be right back, everybody, sorry.

And we'll do calls, I promise.

I'll stop bullshitting with these people.

You know, I'd like to also, you know, I'd like to mention that, you know,

our prayers are with everybody down there in the big New Orleans.

If you manage to make it back home and you have to leave again,

we definitely feel for you and pray that you find your way and find peace soon.

And all you guys over in Texas here that are about ready to catch some shit out of the fan,

find some safety quick, and we wish only the best for you.

And if any of those people in Texas are related to my bosses that I work with,

please wish all the destruction to land upon their homes,

because they're real assholes in this area.

That's right. Terry, Eddie, all you guys, may you have a ton of destruction on your shit-ass house.

Can I shit in your cowboy hat, your 55-gallon cowboy hat, brother?

Your ass hat. Your 55-gallon ass hat.

Yes, he wore the boots and stuff, man, you know, and he talked like this,

and all the red asses, their asses are so damn red.

They look like Roy D. Marcer right after he just come out of a jalapeno eating contest.

He's as red as his ass, are we, sir?

Bud, Bud, Terry, all you guys, Eddie.

We wish you nothing but the best during this storm and all the destruction.

You know who you are.

I don't shout out to all our friends.

ADK provides us with this excellent chat.

Dr. Leggo gives us our voice.

We go out there and ask all for you, you guys.

Yeah, thank you.

He's been talking nonstop.

Oh, he's great.

You need to get these for my brother.

You told me you were going to get him these.

What, those right there?

Yeah.

I got the third one now, too.

I got a whole set.

Man, you really piss me off sometimes.

All right, well, we'll get you some.

See, I never tell you I'm going to do anything, and I don't.

What's that skipping noise?

Y'all hold and mind your business, because Lil' Evil Neenah is a hard chat Nazi.

Do not say a word.

So.

Puppy, puppy.

No, no, this is work.

Get him out of here.

I'll be true to life.

His mom is probably, I love this.

It sounds like a fucking sprinkler.

Ah, it's a fucking game.

Yeah, otherwise when you're like really drunk and you try to get across the line,

you think, ah, man, I'd be getting a thing coming around,

it hits you in the back of the head.

I've never been drunk in a Sprinkler, Milt, man.

Is that what you do?

Oh, every time I get a chance, man, shit.

Nothing like a free anal douche in there.

Yeah.

What's your fucking name, this bitch who can't stop calling?

No, man, I mean...

Oh, yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

What are you talking about, no man?

We've been on the same CD for an hour.

God damn, man, you got it done?

No, I don't know, some bitch named Cathy Young keeps calling me.

I should call her on the show and fuck with her.

You can't do that, man.

That's like dead or crossing the line.

Yeah, I can't mix work and end show.

That's the bottom line.

I'm not allowed to mix that stuff.

I didn't know that was a work call.

Yeah, it's when I'm on call...

If it wasn't work, we could break bad.

It's a really bad...

it's a really bad week for the show because of that who's calling now i don't know let's see

what it is i think it's right ever get your stuff straightened out over there the cable man

the cable yes it did everything's working perfectly hang on let's let's put that

let's see who's my color these turned off right now i gotta update that hang on

oh it's too late no man that's your topic isn't the topic hasn't been changed

oh you're right i gotta change the topic dude yeah yeah kitty cake

Hey, he's probably not paying attention.

You have a dupe.

I got shits to do.

You knew our buddy?

Hello.

Send us in a great idea.

Hey, what's going on?

Hey, hang on a minute.

We got something on the air.

How you doing, man?

Yeah, I'm doing all right.

All right.

Fucking wrecked me fucked up.

That movie fucking...

I actually might get my name out there.

I'm doing a movie that's going to Sundance.

Sundance?

Really?

Yeah, film festival in Colorado.

You're acting in it?

What's going on?

No, I did all the audio editing and the voiceovers and shit.

And, like, I'm getting a big plug off of it.

They're going to put my fucking website on the credits.

Okay.

All right, well, that's good.

Oh, so I thought you were going to star in a movie or something like that.

Nah, hell no.

Not yet, but they need to, man.

They need to make me go in there one time.

Yeah, they should.

Damn it, man.

I need to be in a movie.

All right.

What's up, man?

We pranking hard tonight.

What's going down?

Yeah, it's time to start the pranks.

Thank you for calling in.

It's a late start.

Look, I'm on call from work, and it's been the week from hell this week.

I've had a lot of shit happen.

I've lost my cell phone today.

Me too, man.

I had a lot of work done today.

Look, I've lost my cell phone this week.

I've had cable problems.

I finally got fixed today.

The only positive part of today.

What else happened to me?

I cracked my radiator today in my car.

You shouldn't have done that.

Well, it wasn't my fault.

I got a cracked rear light, rear taillight.

Damn, you better not go with any drugs, man.

No, no, I don't.

No, I don't.

That's all I got to say, man.

It's not bad.

It's not visible, but it's just cracked.

I don't know.

I can't expect me to find that in here.

It's in there somewhere.

It's ridiculous.

In fact, I'm going to have to look through a whole fucking pile of CDs.

It's ridiculous.

It's not here at all.

I don't know.

I don't know where all the CDs are.

What would it say on it?

Here, up here.

It'll say, Dan the Automator.

That's us who we were listening to there while I had to...

That was my CD, and that fucker took it.

Yeah.

And then he gave it to you, and he's like,

this guy should burn a copy of it.

That's bullshit.

And then, like, you play and you act like, you know, I'm not the one who turned you on to that.

And I was, but you just don't know it.

Hey, man, you want to do a call right quick?

I got some people named Gay.

Gay?

Gay.

Cheryl Gay and Robert A. Gay.

Bob Gay.

What's Robert A. Gay?

Robert A. Gay.

He's in Deltona, which is the city where I grew up in, and Andy lived there for most of his life.

Daytona, like, Florida?

No, not Daytona.

It's half Daytona, half Deltona.

Half Daytona

Half Orlando

Half Daytona

Half

It's not okay

Halfway through Orlando

And Daytona is

I want this too

Well you want it too

Touchdown

I won't take that

Oh yeah

That's the

Amogam

That's a lot of

Did you find it

No

It's there

It's somewhere

I don't know

We'll find it

I want a brand new one

Does that have scratches on it

Alright fine

Whatever

We'll do that

Alright everybody

So let's start a call here

Rick Lude

You're on the line

Thank you very much for calling

Fuck yeah

It's 1040

We're finally

It's a dollar still

You failed here, Sonny, you got bugged by me.

Yeah, you going to do a WC Fields call?

Or are you going to do...

Oh, that would be bomb.

All right, go over.

He does a really good WC Fields.

He's really funny.

Nah, you know what I...

Wait, hold on a second.

Let me ask the chat room real quick.

Yeah.

Type it in there.

What voice should I do?

And I'll do, like, impression.

I'll try to do less impression.

Yeah, and everybody...

Or the WC or any one of your wonderful selections.

WC Fields.

Because I have to...

I can't ask it over there because it's fucking delaying, though.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, you got to...

Come on, you fucks.

Hurry up.

I'm even a lost boy.

Lost boy.

W.C. Fields.

Yeah, that's what I'm going to do.

That's Milton.

He's talking to you.

We'll do it.

I'm going to ride W.C. Fields.

I'm going to force my way.

All right.

Hang on, everybody.

Rick, what's on your mind?

I don't know.

There he is.

All right, everybody.

We'll be right back after this.

Okay.

Rick Luke.

Yeah.

Robert Gay.

Robert A. Gay.

Hello, I'm speaking Robert A. Gay, please.

hello this is this is wc how you doing there ma'am just want to speak to old buddy robert a gay

old buddy of mine who is calling wc how you doing all right we got a little battery but i have a

backup but reclude might have to call back in it's curious mr fields there's wc about to get

your name buddy above me sonny call back correctly yes you will don't worry man it's all i think i

think the phone died i think it died right when milkman said that yeah it did oh million you

You jinxed it.

You jinxed us.

No, this is a battery problem, man.

This is the cheap one that came with the phone.

It was like a $9 phone.

Damn it.

Now, how many times do I got to tell you, Carly,

that you cannot use some batteries in your vibrator before you start to show?

I'm going to hook up a phone battery to a vibrator.

That thing, that would be more powerful, I think, right?

No, that's what I was talking about, baby.

I just like to plug them straight in the wall, man.

You can't get much better than 110.

I bring a generator in the house

and hook that up

I get my washing machine

going and I put a

vibrator in my ear

it's like a carter

come here slave

I have my slave

rub my toes

if you could go down on yourself

would you do it

that's what I got bitches for

Aw, come on.

But what if you weren't getting any?

You would resort to it, though.

You've got to be kidding me.

If it was easy as masturbating.

A dog can lick his own nuts, man.

I ain't a dog.

Shit.

I will get something, son.

You know that.

You know what?

Athena's going to have to.

There's a player here, man.

Athena, you've got to put this back on the base.

All right.

Athena, everybody.

Athena's stepping up.

Athena always does the back.

Oh, my God.

She's our intern.

Okay.

I've got to lock back in.

As soon as we get this fixed, then the rec loop can call back in, or anybody else can.

I haven't even given out the toll-free.

It's 888...

Give Rickley the chance, man.

All right, well, let's just give it out.

Hang on, he'll call back.

888-278-8509.

Rickley, please do a call back in.

Sir, phone line is back up.

This is the good battery.

This is a radio check battery that I spent a good amount of money on.

Give a shout-out to Blake from Georgia.

It's Boonie.

Okay, well...

Laugh out loud.

Boonie says to give a shout-out to...

Hey, Boonie, this is from Asshat.

He's listening to you.

He's giving you a shout-out.

Boonie, no, no, no, no.

Blake is the dude.

Oh.

Hey, Blake, this is Boonie.

Loud name.

Laugh out loud.

Hee-hee-hee.

There you go, everybody.

You're on the madhouse.

How you doing now, baby?

Hello, WC.

How are you?

Yeah, let's make some brain calls, baby.

Yeah, all right.

Well, we can...

Feel like a spring checker tonight.

Yeah.

We can go ahead and try the other gay person.

Yeah, it's the gays. We can call back and say they must have got disconnected, but they don't want to call you.

All right, well, let's do it. She said she was getting Bob gay, right?

Yeah, we're going to say, hey, I got disconnected.

Oh, did you hang up on him?

Oh, you suck.

No, no.

He didn't hang up. That milkman killed himself.

He killed himself. He was so upset that he thought we hung up on Rick.

I think he just started strangling himself, and he passed out.

I'm going to go suck my exhaust fumes off my scooter.

Milkman.

Milkman got so upset once he ate his cell phone once.

Right.

All right, anyway.

Okay.

Hang on.

We're going to get...

All right, let's try getting Bob Gay back on the line.

All right, dude.

We'll be right back, everybody.

It is now 1046 on that madhouse.

And I have no music to play.

Yeah, two left crew.

Yeah.

A personal part of my life.

And ladies, listen up.

I may just save your relationship.

Please enter your authorization code now.

Sorry, this authorization code is not valid.

Please enter your authorization code now.

$1.54.

2.34.

Minutes.

29 seconds.

Hey there.

Hello.

Take the Robert A. Gave Lee.

Hello.

Hearing so well.

Please wait.

Oh my God.

Oh, that's so annoying.

The hell was that?

A lot of strange noises over there.

That was a Notre Dame theme song.

Hello?

Strange noises, I'm confused.

I'm confused, I'm trying to speak to Robert A. Gay.

To who?

I have a package for him.

Hello?

I got a message for Bob Gay.

There is no Bob Gay here.

What do you mean there's no Bob Gay there?

Why are you trying to get smart with me?

I know damn well there's a Bob Gay there.

That was great.

Oh, bitch, man.

Stupid bitch, God.

There's no Bob Gay there.

Didn't she say a second ago?

She said she was gonna go get him, and now all of a sudden she can't go get him?

Alright, I'm calling her now.

Your current balance will allow you to talk for 2 hours, 25 minutes, 29 seconds.

This is Cheryl Gay, and an old guy answered about...

Oh, Cheryl Gay?

Yeah, about 15 minutes ago.

what the fuck is that i just thought i could fix it what is it it's a bad line

Oh, we're messing with you.

Hey, hello.

Hello.

Hello. Who the hell?

Hello, Carlitos.

What? Who's this?

Carlitos, you Mexican peanut.

Oh, it's Prankmaster.

How did he get on the line?

That son of a bitch.

Hey, Prankmaster, how you doing?

Oh, good fucking tonight.

Oh yeah? Good.

Good.

How's your car working?

Yeah, it is tonight.

Okay.

All right, well, let's not talk about the car, then.

Okay, let me see.

You sent me a number, right?

You sent me two.

Which one do you want to call first?

We totally lost Reclude, man.

I just forgot about Reclude.

Hang on.

Hang on, Pregmas.

How did Pregmas get on the phone and Reclude go off?

I don't know.

Hang on.

It's an AC Madhouse Live.

We eat every day.

You're now listening to Bizarre Circus.

And I'm your boy, Young Miles of Future.

And my man's about to get it crackin' for y'all

The band has a new lead singer

Everybody switch your motherfuckin' hands up for the number one weirdo

It's a nigga with the cats kickin' the nasty

Dirty 50 rap, Detroit's on the rise

It's called Zax

And he ain't got pop shit in his act

I got two lesbians, full-blown AIDS

Full-blown AIDS

You never heard Bizarre, man?

He's got AIDS?

No, he just wants to fuck girls with full-blown AIDS

He wants to fuck lesbians

Here, listen

Yeah, he's kind of weird.

He said the big dude in the D12 videos.

Oh, he's the big fat guy?

Yeah.

You know how anyone is a big fat guy.

Yeah, he's kind of sick, though.

He's like the sickest rapper.

Like, not sick like good, but sick like...

Sick like Biggie, like can't barely breathe.

Yeah, he can't breathe very much.

But he makes like nasty raps, though.

Well, hey, everybody.

We're bullshitting over here.

We're finally on the air, and I'm like, what, 25 minutes late?

It's 941, and I've been having the week from hell, and that's translated to tonight

because, actually, a lot of you know, well, some of you out there,

DTT in particular is very adamant about me fixing my Internet problems

that I've been having thanks to Bright House.

And they came out once, and they broke my entertainment center

in the process of trying to fix the problem and didn't fix it.

So that was Tuesday night.

Whoa, excuse me.

That was Tuesday night, but they came back out tonight just less than an hour ago.

Everything is fixed, so the phone lines will be up tonight.

I have to go turn the 800 number on, the toll-free lineup,

but I'll let you know when I do that after introductions are done and intros.

Anyway, so we're back.

We're 100%.

In theory, we should be able to have a normal show tonight, so I'll be a late starting one.

Anyway, here with me I have Andy.

Of course, what's up, Andy?

Hey, what's up?

Top of the food chain.

Hey, hey, you're going to go by Andy, right?

That's the bottom line.

It doesn't matter.

All right.

Athena.

Athena's listening.

She'll be able to hear your calls, but she does not want to be on the air.

And I don't have an extra mic, actually, so she can't be on the air.

So, huh.

Are you going to the chat room, Athena, or are you just going to play your pogo?

She'll go in the chat room.

That's nice.

Hang on.

Let me turn this mic off.

That sounds better.

Ah, see?

That's much better.

I'm going to need...

I've got to run and get a cover for the mics.

So, damn it.

So, the calls don't sound too bad.

But anyway, if you want to join the show, go to, for now, go to madhouselive.com, madhouselive.com,

and click on the listen, join icon on the front page, and you'll see all the options to get a hold of us.

Of course, we're being broadcast right now on Prank Call Underground Radio, PCU.

You can visit that home page at kdkprankcalls.com.

server space is

brought to you

by Billy Mira

who does our Monday night show here

Billy Mira from the Howard Stern show

on his server

actually Dr. Lego

I'll take that back

Dr. Lego

from the Billy Mira show

and you can visit him

over at pranktheworld.com

that's his website

so madhouselive.com

kdkprankcalls.com

and pranktheworld.com

I believe it's pranktheworld.com

Yeah, DTT's telling me to move to DirecTV, but no way, man.

DirecTV's whack.

My parents have DirecTV, and it sucks, man.

Like, I don't know.

The only reason that I bother with Bright House is because their DVR is cheap.

Like, you only have to pay, what, five bucks a month?

Yeah, it's awesome.

Yeah.

You can't live without it.

Yeah, I'm so hooked on it now.

And I have HD, DVR, and I've got every single channel except for the Spanish channels.

And, like, the NBA and baseball packages.

Everything else I got.

I have the baseball package.

You did get the baseball package, yeah.

So can you record the baseball that comes on?

Yeah, I record it and watch it when I go to work.

So who does all the commentary?

This is like local stations and they just rebroadcast it?

Yeah, they just pick up whatever the cable feed is, the Fox feed usually.

Fox Sports.

Okay.

So I got to watch the Cubs.

It was like 80 games.

Oh, that sucks, man.

Yeah, you're a Cubs fan, right?

Yeah.

I'm not much of a baseball fan, but I follow the Cubs for any and whatever.

All right, I'm getting numbers here from Lonesome.

Lonesome loser in the chat room.

Thank you very much.

He's hairy dick.

Hairy dick, exactly, yeah.

They're all reliable.

There's always a hairy dick out there.

Yeah, that's just hairy sacks and hairy dick.

We've got Irving S. Fuke, Saechi Fuke, Harry and Cindy Holman.

Holman.

Remember Holzman?

Holzman, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, Holzman.

Yeah, bitch.

Jimmy Boner.

Joe Geek.

Harry and Jackie Hooker and Melvin Boner.

So, I wonder how, I want to talk to Lonesome and find out how is it that he actually finds,

does he just go and, I think he just makes up a funny last name and just look,

he'll like put in Boner and find all the Boners he can, right?

That's pretty much what he does.

I guess he finds them in Hawaii and shit.

And, yeah, see, he does Washington, Oregon, and Hawaii.

Those are, because it's early over there.

It is 6.45 p.m. in the West Coast in California, and it's around 4, I guess 4.46 right now.

What time is it in the morning?

It can't be that early.

I think it's a two-hour difference from California, isn't it?

I'm on call and my voicemail's going off for work.

I don't even fuck it.

I'm not going to answer it.

I'll answer it.

I'll take a break in a second.

I'll answer it.

It's too fucking late for that shit, man.

God, fucking people won't go to sleep.

It's like 10 o'clock.

You're okay there?

Yeah.

It's like 10 o'clock.

Yeah.

You know what?

These are people on work comp and they feel like lazy bastards.

They're up all night.

They're like, you know, I'm going to go ahead and wait until the last minute before I call.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, they'll call, like, yeah, I need an Italian interpreter.

That's why I would do that, too.

I would wait until the last minute, and I'd be like, look, we got someone on call.

There's some fucking fat Puerto Rican sitting around waiting.

Yeah, there's some fat Puerto Rican.

That's his job.

There's some fat Puerto Rican in his boxers answering the phone.

If they didn't have the stuff I do while I'm talking to these people, oh, Cubs suck go-karts.

Who said that?

You suck.

He's in, I forget who that is exactly.

Oh, yes, come back.

Yeah, man.

Man up.

You disgust me.

Man up.

Cards are the win.

Are the win.

Cards for the win.

Someone set up the cards.

Yeah.

So that's used to be so common.

Jim Edmonds is gay.

Yeah.

Well, make yourself known.

If you want to call and talk Cubs, I'll put Andy on.

I hope not.

That would be terrible.

He'd kill me.

Yeah.

All right, well.

I hate the Cardinals.

Then I won't give the toll-free number out for another minute.

Not to him.

Yeah, not to him.

Everybody else, if you want to call,

Call 888-278-8509.

I'm pretty sure that's activated.

Let me check just in case.

We'll try it.

And we've tested the phone lines, and we're 90.

Athena, what would you estimate the chances that everything's going to work out tonight?

Give me a percentage.

I've got a percentage.

98%.

I'm more of an 89%, but.

I'm going with 14.

14% from Andy.

Big Andy with 14%.

Thank you for your faith.

Well, let me.

Okay.

The line is now re-enabled.

So if you try to call and you got a busy signal, try again.

But you know what?

You didn't try to call, so nobody tried to call.

I know how you guys are.

You guys don't want to call until late.

You guys are busy doing stuff now still.

So anyway, big shout-out to the chat room, everybody in there.

Misery's in.

He had some problems with Time Warner also.

He was talking to me about that during the week.

I was bitching about it.

Milkman, that's right.

Milkman is actually buying me a phone card because he only had one hour left on his.

is he had an i had an hour's plenty of time i made him go out to my new phone card i'll go

oh man i'll be right back i'll be there a little bit yeah well he's been gone for a while because

that it's across the street from him it's like uh what's your mccall it what's that having fun

in the party room it's like a party room right now

Yeah, he'd be like, yeah, baby, yeah, yeah, oh, damn it, yeah.

Oh, man, yeah.

I like the best is when he does a little, like, a little promo.

The car, they don't even matter.

Yeah, yeah.

I like, yeah, I got to get him to record some promos for me.

Just, you know, he should be, I got to get him to do that.

I don't know if he, yeah, I'm sure he would.

He's not for anything.

He doesn't have anything to do.

Yeah, what's he doing?

He works on, I don't know, he's always on my computer.

Yeah, he's like, do you need any phone cards?

I'll go get them.

Yeah, I'll be right back, sir.

Thank you very much

Milkman

He's probably

I hope nothing happened to him

I hope he didn't fall down

Or something on the way there

There's a lot of

Jamaicans

I don't know

He's got some weird stories

Virgin Islands

They're a really weird place

They're dangerous

No they're pretty safe

Those are friendly blacks

Over there man

They're island blacks

Don't we see the Marines

There all the time

That's Haiti

Is it Haiti

I don't know

Where's Granada

South America

Okay so that's not

The Caribbean then right

Granada was an island

Alright

And Ronald Reagan

Said shit

Then he sent some troops down there for, like, a weekend.

Yeah, I saw that movie with Clint Eastwood.

That's all I know about it, Heartbreak Ridge.

Really?

Anybody who wants to know further about Granada can rent that movie

and fast-forward it until, like, the last half hour and then watch that.

Does Ronald Reagan, like, appear?

He shows up, yeah.

Clint Eastwood is pinned down, and Ronald Reagan and the monkey are in a helicopter.

And he's strafed the Cubans.

John Glenn.

And the Cubans are there.

They're like, oh, there's Cubans, and the Cubans have, like, a bulldozer.

It's like the big battle, the Cubans on a bulldozer.

Cubans on a bulldozer?

Yeah.

I think I saw that.

They're like, those Cubans have a bulldozer.

Everybody's like, we better get out of here.

Really?

Yeah.

Really?

Yeah, but then they kill it.

You know, the Cubans can't really fight that good compared to Americans.

They got a lot of spirit, but Puerto Ricans never won anything either, man.

There's never been a successful Puerto Rican wrestler in the WWE.

What about Savio Vega?

Yeah, never did.

Savio Vega?

Who's Savio Vega?

Sabio Vega.

I don't remember.

Sabio.

I don't know.

Wasn't he in The Nation?

The Nation?

No, he sucked, though, man.

Remember Coco Beware?

He was good.

He was in Puerto Rico, though.

He was Dominican.

He was black.

He was Dominican.

Really black.

Yeah, man.

He should have been Dominican if it was Coco Beware with, like, a parrot.

Yeah, he had the bird.

I liked the bird man.

He was, like, my favorite when I was a kid.

Junkyard Dog was a man, though, man.

And when Mr. T wrestled Junkyard Dog, that was a good fight.

No, you know who?

Remember that bad guy?

Bad News Brown.

And he used to put his hand on top of your head and then he'd kick you in the back of the head like the Ghetto Blaster.

I don't remember that, no.

Ooh, Bad News Brown.

Hey, in senior year English, you wrote a story about something in your life.

He said we had to write an essay about the biggest thing in our life or something really major to happen in our life.

And you wrote it about two wrestlers.

I don't think I did.

You drew a picture of two wrestlers.

One was sitting, the other one in the back with a steel chair.

I don't think I did that

Yeah you did

It doesn't sound good

So you never wanted to admit

To all this shit

I know

I just don't remember it at all

It was

It was a

Hand drawn picture

With crayons

And it was like

It was like some wrestler

Like I hit in the back

With another one

You said

You were in my

You showed it to me

You showed me the picture

Dude I was in like

AP

And you were like

In like English

No I wasn't

No I wasn't man

I was Mr. Edmonds class

You weren't in my

I didn't draw a picture

Yes you did

We had a draw a picture

And I drew a picture

I forgot how I drew a picture

of. I forgot. That's probably Star Trek

or something like that. I don't know.

That thing is going on. Athena, can you get that for me?

We'll put it on the air so you guys can see

what I deal with.

No one drew a picture of a

wrestler. Yeah. The last time I remember

drawing a picture for school was

like Tyson. Tyson?

Yeah. That was like 6th grade.

Oh my god, what's that noise? That's this.

Hang on everybody. We're going to put you... You guys are going to hear

what I've got to deal with here. Let's see if it's

a Hispanic person. What if it's a

live person? It's always a

the voice recording. Ah, thank you. She brings

the cover. That's good right there.

Thank you very much, Athena.

That sounds horrible. It was my mom!

Hello!

No, I can't put her on.

Last time, no, last time she

freaked out. She got mad at me. She called me.

I was telling her to speak English. She's gonna call right back

and yell at you. Well, I wanted to put her on, but

she, um... I know, I heard that.

She wouldn't, uh... I can call

it as her. I can do her voice. No, no, no.

She will curse me

me out. She gave me such hell.

She's like, you disrespect me

if I don't want to speak to you. But you just hung up on her.

See? She's already calling back. Yeah, you

gotta talk to her now. I gotta take... Hang on, everybody.

Let me play some music, because

she gets mad if she goes on here. Yeah, you're a dick.

I'm not a dick. You just

hung up on your mom. Hey, she'll be fine.

She'll be fine. Hang on. Alright, though, listen to this, everybody.

We're right back. We totally lost Reclude, man.

I just forgot about Reclude. Hang on. Hang on,

Prankmaster. How did Prankmaster get in front of

Reclude to go off? Right?

I see now.

Prankmaster called in.

This is probably him calling, right?

Hello.

Hey, how you doing there?

What's going on there?

Radio transmissions.

What is it you say, you old butter?

Is that what you say to people sometimes?

What I'm saying?

What you say?

How you doing there, you old...

Is it you old butter?

What do you say sometimes?

You old butter.

No, I just say, I'm looking for an old shirt brigade.

No, no, but sometimes you've done other calls and you go,

Hey, how you doing there, you old butter?

I think, is it you old butter or something?

You old bastard or something.

Something you say.

I'm trying to try to slur it so they don't understand what I'm saying.

Yeah, it sounds like your old bugger.

It sounds like your old bugger.

I don't even know, man.

I'm probably just high.

I don't know.

Okay, well, all right.

It sounds funny.

You want to call anybody else?

I got a Michelle Hoban, if you want to make another call.

Michelle Hoban?

Hoban, yeah, Hoban.

B-I-N-A.

All right.

Let's call her.

Let's convert her.

Okay.

All right.

Actually, I'm going to change my voice now.

I'm going to preach her.

Oh, you're going to preach her?

Awesome.

Okay, well, we'll hear that.

Hang on, everybody.

Everybody will get another call here in just one moment.

I'm going to prank Master in the background.

What's up, man?

Hey, you.

Who is this?

What's up, Prank Master?

Hey, let me ask you real quick.

What did you get arrested for?

Huh?

What did you get arrested for?

I didn't get arrested.

I heard that you got arrested or something.

Huh?

I heard you got arrested.

How?

I don't know.

Some dude was saying that you had gotten arrested.

Oh, yeah.

That's what someone was saying.

You got arrested.

You weren't paying child support.

What happened?

All right, well, look, you don't need to talk about it.

It's all right.

Anyway, so, hey.

I didn't get arrested.

All right, well, good.

I'm happy to hear that.

Hey, dude, let me ask you.

I got reclued on the other line.

He's going to make a call real quick.

And then you want to go ahead and give me a call back after that?

All right, cool, man.

All right, I'll talk to you later.

Call back after recluing is done, all right?

All right.

Farewell.

Hello.

Hello, recluing.

Hello.

Good, good.

Hang on.

It's going to be Delta.

How you doing there, sweetheart?

I got a singing telegram for you.

Okay, would you like to hear it?

Robert A. Gay, Robert A. Gay, let me call you sweetheart, I'm in love with you, I love to hear you more like, when I'm with you, you blow me away, and that's all, Robert A. Gay says call him tomorrow, okay, he says he's a good friend of mine, and he says you've caught his eye, you're the apple of his eye, I think you may have the wrong number, he knows what he's talking about, he knows what he's talking about,

this is this is uh you know right well francesca let me tell you a little girl that's asleep right

now uh-huh or would you like me to sing her level i'll ever call this number again

hello who is this

okay and you mr albert uh we can call would you like to call walmart i've got plenty of walmart's

Yeah, no, no, I'm not trying to prank you.

I want to do a prank with you.

I'm saying, we can call a Walmart store.

I got a Subway, and I got a...

Let's call Walmart.

Let's call Walmart in Alaska.

Yeah, let's see if they got a...

Hang on for a second.

What is that?

That's creeping me out.

Hello?

This is real voice.

Please enter your destination number now.

No.

It's Matt Alpert.

It's on.

He still calls me.

The speed slot dialed does not exist.

You got a three-hole punch?

Oh my god.

Three fucking hole punch?

That's tight, dude.

Yeah, I'm still here.

Excuse me sir, this is Walmart.

Walmart.

Walmart?

Are you trying to call Walmart?

Walmart?

Wait, let me transfer you. Hold on.

What the fuck are we doing, man?

What the fuck are we doing?

Actually call Walmart now.

Yeah, go ahead.

We're actually going to call Walmart now.

This is weird.

I'm in such a haze.

Hang on.

Can you hear me?

Can you speak up, please?

Oh, my God.

Hello.

Yes, ma'am.

Hello.

Speak down to you.

Bitch.

This is the worst prank phone call ever.

Yeah, that sucked.

Can you hear me?

I can't hear you, sonny.

You ought to speak up.

I got my hearing aids down low.

Huh?

We're sorry.

Sorry, the number you have dialed is invalid.

Please try again.

How'd you do it all?

Red stripe.

Your birth balance will allow you to talk for 52 minutes, 35 seconds.

People gotta speak up.

People gotta stop calling me.

I'm gonna try and do a call.

I want to do such an apology out of my own hands.

Hey.

What was that?

It was Milkman.

How'd he do that?

Milkman, you're so loud.

You hear how weird the phone sounds in Hawaii?

It's like Japanese.

It's not like we're calling him.

Hello.

Hello, love.

What, what?

Hello.

How are you there?

Hello, ma'am.

Breaking up and I can't understand you.

Layaway, please.

This is Layaway.

I need you to check on a package for me, please.

Okay.

What's your, um, last four digits of your phone number?

Two, two, one, zero.

What's with this phone connection?

Okay.

I don't have anything.

Let me see.

One, two, eight, zero.

Try your other number, yeah.

Oh, 1-2-8-0.

Yes.

Ma'am?

Walmart.

Yes, ma'am.

Hello.

1-2-0-8?

Oh, my God.

Worst phone call ever.

This sucks.

Your current balance will allow you to talk for 44 minutes, 11 seconds.

Hey, set the bird.

Oh, man.

Hmm?

Everybody that likes me.

You got 700 versus zero?

Yeah.

You got a good Walmart?

Hey, how you doing there?

Very good.

Great.

Can I get the pharmacy, please?

I think it's closer.

Let me transfer, okay?

Okay.

Go in and look, bitch.

One moment.

Can you go look for me before you transfer me?

Don't try to hang up on me.

What about, where do I do returns at?

How about that?

Okay, have direct line.

Move it up.

Line four.

No, no, no, no, no.

Whoa.

Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

This is my last quarter.

Oh, okay.

One moment, okay?

Oh, thank you.

I love that.

This is my last quarter.

Keeps everybody like, oh, that's his last quarter.

They don't use transfers in Walmart very much, do they?

Because every time I call them, they want to give you a number.

Yeah, they're like, you know, call back.

You should be like, yo, fuck that, that's my last quarter, dawg.

Hell yeah, man.

Because I'm walking down the street and I got to call Walmart.

Who calls Walmart for a payphone?

Who would call Walmart for a payphone?

That's so fucked up.

They should be like, you're not calling Walmart for a payphone.

Who does that?

No one.

Yeah, exactly.

Pharmacy?

Hello, this is the pharmacy.

Excellent.

Excellent. Look, sir, may I give you the UPC code on this so you can look it up for me, please?

Is it a drug? Is it a...

Yeah, it's a drug. Come on. I need to ask you an important question about this. I don't know how to pronounce it. I don't know what it really is.

Here, let me put you on hold. I need you to turn my computers back on.

Oh, God.

I need you to turn my computers back on.

All right.

How long?

Can we... All right. How long is it going to be?

It takes about two minutes for it to get all the way up.

All right, well, I'm counting.

If you want, you can call the A Street Walmart and they can answer all that for you.

No, no, I bought it there.

Don't try to pass your problems, bro.

Me and you are going to have a nice long conversation.

Me and you are going to have a nice long conversation about this.

Hey, let me put you on hold.

I'm going to get my computer back.

All right.

You better come back.

I will.

He's going to hang up on you.

How long do we have to wait?

Two minutes?

He said two minutes, man.

We have to just wait because what if he comes back on?

That's fucking rude, man.

Really, Walmart?

I guess what?

He's closing.

I'm probably making him a pick.

He's turning his computer back on.

No, you're a dick.

Hello?

I'm going to transfer you to the phone over by the computer that I turned on, okay?

Okay, thank you.

He sounds like a little fucking dork, man.

He's actually transferring me, though.

Yeah, I'm transferring you.

He has to run over there to pick it up.

Yeah, I guess so.

We just hang out and go, like, yell at him.

Great.

It says, fix your audio.

Yeah, are you there?

Okay.

Yeah, okay, just want to make sure.

All right.

I don't know, what's the number with the barcode?

Yeah, the barcode number.

Go ahead and read it off.

All right, so three, two.

0-3-9-0-0-0-0-1-1-6-9.

Are they dashed in there?

Nope.

Are they separated at all?

I said, like, two numbers in the last set or one number in the last set?

Yeah, you got it.

Is it just 6-9 or is it just 9?

Well, you got a three.

I see the barcode thing, and then there's a three all by itself, a small three.

And then inside the barcode, there's five numbers and then a space and then five more numbers.

and then another space in one small number by itself.

Ask him to speak up, please.

Can you speak up a little bit, if you don't mind?

Okay.

I'm on my last quarter.

The first small number was a 3 at the left?

Yeah.

Okay, and then the big number starts 23900?

Yep.

And then there's a space again?

Yep.

Is that correct?

Yep, and there's a 00116.

That space in the number 9.

Speak up there, Bruce.

Um, I suppose so. It's a 3-2-3-9-0-0, then 0-0-1-1-6, and then 9.

DTT's just having a hard time.

3-2-3-9-0-0-0-0-1-1-6.

And then 9.

I'm missing 1.

And then 9 at the end. 9.

You heard me? 9, I say, at the end.

Is there a 9 right before the 6?

No, there's a 9 after the 6.

9 after the 6?

Yep, the last number is 9.

Okay, have

you read it off again?

All right.

This is taking so long.

This guy's the worst Walmart employee ever.

NyQuil?

Lesson bridge.

Yes, yes.

NyQuil, yes.

NyQuil.

Is it NyQuil?

NyQuil.

Yeah, NyQuil.

What's the interaction with Viagra?

What is this VIX?

VIX?

You rub that on your chest?

Yeah, Vicksnake's NyQuil.

I'm going to tell you something.

My 8-year-old son came home and drank about three.

You put a damn party shot glass on the top of this thing.

And my son came home with this, and he said he got it at Wal-Mart.

Well, they told me, I said, where'd you get that?

He said, Wal-Mart.

In his book bag, drank three shots of this on the bus ride home from school.

And what's that all about?

I asked for the pharmacist, okay?

I thought you were the pharmacist.

I asked for the pharmacist.

Who is it?

What are you doing there?

What, are you cleaning the floors?

Are you the computer guy?

I just work in the pharmacy area also with the pharmacist.

All right, well.

I didn't hear that you asked for the pharmacist.

I just picked up the phone.

Well, hey, thank you for picking up the phone.

How about that pharmacist?

Okay, I'm going to put you on hold.

All right.

He doesn't know anything.

He mumbles a lot and is stupid.

I think he was playing with himself.

That was Bruce.

You think this pharmacist is going to be like...

No, it's going to be him.

He's going to come back and he's going to be like...

Tell him to speak up, though.

Damn the pharmacist.

You know, your kid's probably just going to need sleeping

There he is

Hello, sir

Yes

Yeah, look here, sir

My son has come home with this bottle of this Nick Will

Okay, that's an over-the-counter cough and cold and cold medication

He's had three

You put a shot glass on top of this

This is a thin piece of shit shot glass

Excuse my French, I'm sorry

Excuse my language

That's the way that drug is dispensed, sir

And he's

People can dose it

He is seven years old and took three shots of this at school at lunchtime,

and he got caught, and now he's going to get expelled.

Okay.

And I asked him where he got it.

He said he got it there at the Walmarts.

Okay, it's over-the-counter.

That means that anybody can come in and buy it.

It's a normal kind of cough medicine that people take when they're sick.

You've given this?

It doesn't come with a cap on it to dose, but it's just like any bottle of anything.

The person doesn't have to even use a cap.

They just drink it.

You understand that my seven-year-old son drank this?

You bought this at your store and drank it.

Well, that's the problem nowadays, sir.

There's quite a few people that buy that kind of stuff.

And quite a few of those things are being taken off the market and also removed from all accounts.

He's hallucinating.

He's yelled at his mother.

His mother is in the bathroom locked in there crying with the hot water on.

There's steam coming out of the bottom of the door.

He is angry.

He's yelling.

He's talking back.

He wouldn't eat all his food.

Call the poison control people.

He's kind of mad about it, too.

You mean to tell me that my 7-year-old son went in there and bought drugs and drank it,

and you guys let him do that?

Sir, that's over the counter.

We have no control.

You sold that to someone who's under 18?

NyQuil?

Yes, of course.

You did.

So if my son goes in there and wants to buy a shotgun in your sporting goods section,

he can do that, too?

No, he cannot.

He can go in there and buy beer?

No, he cannot.

What does this have, if you're the pharmacist, why don't you tell me what, what, what's in

this, in this Niquil?

That is a medication, an antihistamine.

Uh-huh.

What kind of, what's...

It's a decongestant.

What's the antihistamine?

The doxylamine.

Okay, good, that's one.

Do you, do you have the bottle there?

Well, yeah, I'm making sure that you're, you're the real deal.

Okay.

What else?

Sir, this is, this is a normal kind of thing.

Hey, I think you're lying to me.

You're not a, you're not a real, I demand to speak to the pharmacist.

What's that?

I demand to speak to the real pharmacist.

This is the pharmacy manager.

Okay.

Oh, the pharmacy manager.

Did you go to medical school?

Okay, sir.

I am going to have to go, okay?

You need to call the poison control center if your son is acting judgmentally.

You are a peddler.

You are peddling drugs to children.

No, I'm not.

Yes, you are.

You're going to answer to God.

Well, we all will, won't we?

And you're going to answer to the Lord.

and you're going to answer to the...

You need to call Poison Control.

I'm going to...

The sun is hallucinating.

What is your name?

I'm going to contact my lawyer.

What is your name?

My name is James Halleck.

Halleck?

H-A-L-L-O-C-K.

What kind of name is that?

That's a fake name.

Okay, thank you, sir.

What is your real name?

Give me your social security number.

How tall are you?

How much do you weigh?

What did you get in the SATs?

I beat you.

What is your credit card number?

Alright, good.

That wasn't too bad.

Milkman, what are your thoughts?

That was pretty good.

I think he was trying to hold out on us.

I don't think he gave his real name there.

I could heal the goat while you made that call.

I don't even understand, you know,

why he wasn't even concerned that your son has this incredible boner

and wouldn't do an ammo for a seven-year-old.

That's terrible.

Oh, what?

We were talking about NyQuil, not Viagra.

I spent too much time making him look up the shit.

You should've just made him do it over and over again.

Wait a minute, let me give you those numbers again.

Look these numbers up for me, please.

And then we have some guy who...

I got the number for Red Stripe here, but he...

Oh no.

Who is it? Is it your mom?

I gotta go back to work again.

Yeah, Hazy, I can't tell people I'm calling the police because that's actually a bad thing.

Then they'll take you seriously and they'll call the police and then...

This is illegal, you know.

Technically.

We operate under the radar, though.

On the ground.

Who's on the phone?

Hello.

Hey, man, what's up?

Not much.

Hey, congratulations, I heard.

Oh, God.

I heard about the show tomorrow.

You're going to have a great time, right?

Yeah.

You're going to go down to Zolar's show tomorrow, right?

Yep.

All right, well, that's great.

I'm very happy.

You're going to make it then, huh?

So what's going on?

You, this prank master, of course, right?

Yes.

Great.

Great, and then Zolar, of course, is going to be hosting, and you have, what else, you

got KDK, and he's getting a tattoo of some shit.

Yep.

And you got...

He's going to be there getting his nipple pierced.

Right, and then High Pitch Eric is going to be there also, right?

Is he confirmed?

Do you know at all, or am I not supposed to know?

We don't know.

I don't know if he's confirmed or not, but...

Okay, but he's...

But we also might be getting a close dash.

We don't know yet.

Oh, really?

You're going to get...

And let me have a little present for everybody.

You're going to have a present?

And you're going to have Nicole Bass down there?

No, I said we're going to have a little present.

No, before that.

For everybody.

Wait a minute, before that.

Who else did you say was going to be on there?

Nicole Bass?

Yeah, Nicole Bass.

Really?

Okay.

Maybe.

We don't know yet.

Oh, yeah, I know who she is.

I'm just saying.

I didn't know about that until now.

This is the first I'm hearing about her.

Yeah.

All right, well, that's cool.

That's cool.

So, anywho, do you want to go ahead and do it?

Can you hear me?

You probably can't hear me well.

Do you want to do a call, man?

Forget it.

Now someone else is calling.

All right, I'm going to do two great ideas, and I think they'll definitely go somewhere.

The vehicle places the first two numbers, call at either one of them.

Okay, do you have toll-free capability?

Do you have three-way capability?

Because if not, we're going to have to hang up.

Yes, we do.

All right, let me give you a toll-free number real quick off the air, okay?

All right.

All right, so you will hear this only, but I can't hear you.

All right, hang on.

Hang on, everybody.

Huh?

Yes.

Hang on.

Hey, tell him to quit bugging that debut and hang it over.

Did you get that?

You got it?

Okay, good.

I hate that guy.

I don't know if he did it right.

Prankmaster, we're still here.

Yeah, it's busy.

It's busy?

Yeah.

Oh, come on now.

You're yanking my chain.

Hang on.

Give me a second here.

I might be able to do it now.

Hang on.

Enter your authorization code now.

Para mensajes en español, marque asterisco uno.

This song is good, though.

You like this song.

Hawaii, by the way.

You get that.

That's a way better song than this song.

Prankmaster.

Oh, who you told me to call, man?

Best phone call ever.

That was the best right there, man.

Hell yeah.

Yeah, Prankmaster.

Woo!

Yeah.

This mill, anal?

That's the number I done called, man.

Hang on.

No, no, no, no, no.

Call, it should be the first number or the second number that I gave you

Oh, I told you the wrong one

Hang on, I forgot to tell you who I called

You were calling the anal guy

Alright, what?

Okay, so we'll try

Deliver, Shuffle, Lie

Okay

Ace Auto Sales

Alright, we'll try Ace Auto Sales, okay?

Okay

Alright, I gotta do this all over again

Hang on everybody, I'll be right back

And I won't play Beastie Boys

You there?

Yes, I am

Alright

This is a song like, you know, Vikings would probably be into.

Yeah, the drinks are good.

And they're still alive.

Our Vikings, Vikings.

Invading England.

Do you have a right color or does it weigh much like?

No, it doesn't have to be right.

W-H-I-T-E.

Right color.

Okay, let me turn it down. I'm getting all kinds of static here in the road and everything else.

Now, can you spell that for me? What are we talking about?

I'm going to White Park, W-H-I-C.

Oh, White.

Yes.

I'm so sorry.

Sure.

We've got White Park, and we've got like a car station right up in this white.

Are they new, or have they been used?

These are used cars.

Okay, now let me ask you this.

I'm a week.

Yes.

Let me ask you this.

I'm kind of having a problem with people.

What are they used by black people?

Do you know if the right cars were used by black people?

Are you sure? Because if it is, then I'm just going to throw out the car and not even bother.

Because otherwise I'll just throw some gas and shit out of the car.

Because I'm part of the KKK and I don't like black people.

How about you? How's your feeling on the KKK?

Well, we live in America, and everyone has the right to voice their opinion, but I think that anybody trying to hurt anybody else is, like, you know, if somebody's trying to hurt you, then you have the right to, like, stop them.

Sounds like Jesse from China.

But see, because I, like, I usually go to, like, car dealers and burn other black cars.

And do what?

So can I, I burn other black cars at car dealers?

So can I come here and have like a black car burning come over and stuff?

I'm not, I don't really understand, but I guess I'm kind of slow that way.

I'm saying, can I come over and burn other black?

Rather that you didn't, no.

Why not?

Because that just doesn't even make a bit of sense.

Well, I mean, because I'm going to have my whole organization from the KKK come over.

Actually, let me let you talk to the leader. Hang on.

Hello? I do not know what this gentleman is talking about.

He is holding me here against my will.

I do not know what this gentleman is talking about.

Okay.

I do not know what this gentleman is talking about.

Oh, then what do we do?

I don't know. Do you have any white?

When we mean white, we mean we don't want a car that's tainted.

We want a car that's not tainted with niggerdome.

Okay.

Do you have any?

Well, I'm sure that there are plenty available that haven't been painted by anybody or anything, but...

Can you provide documentation that'll prove that it has not been sit-in by anybody but a white person?

That was a what?

That was white the whole time, never even a passenger, nothing like that.

I don't know how you could achieve such documentation, but I'm really not real sure about it, but...

Here, could you hang on just a minute? Hello?

Yes, sir.

How you doing?

I'm doing okay.

All right, good.

Well, you have a good night then, all right?

Okay, bye-bye.

Thank you.

That sounded like a damn freak over at the House of St. Ian.

Prank master, you are insane.

That's his day job.

I know.

Why did you say that you're bombing cars?

You're going to get us in trouble, man.

You can't say that.

I wasn't trying to be good.

No violence.

I kind of completely, like, he completely fucked it around, so I couldn't.

I had to cut that off.

I was going to make it, I could have made it funny with, like, I want a pure car, and,

you know.

Yeah, I kind of fucked it up.

You can't go around saying that, man.

It's post this after 9-11, man.

You're going to get us, I don't know.

You just can't.

Yeah, there's like a freaking echo on this.

I'm sorry.

Sick.

Oh, stupid.

Thank you for calling in.

Well, here's my other idea.

You call me up and you tend to be a girl and you'd be like,

For Sally, this is from, I'm from the Fat Ass Connection.

Calling for, you know, brothers.

Can we hear your girl voice?

Actually, I can do Fat Albert.

Okay, we want to do Fat Albert.

Who do you want to call?

Call this other Chevrolet place and tell them that you want a car, a large car.

Tell them you weigh like 400 pounds or whatever.

You're doing Fat Albert, okay?

Just try to freak them out, and then I'll get on.

You put the phone on me, and I'll say that I want a pure car, okay?

We'll try this out, all right?

How does that sound for a plan?

You like that plan?

I guess.

I like that plan, too.

All right, everybody.

Hang on.

I don't mean to be nasty.

I'm not trying to do that, but, well, let's see.

Don't, please don't tell me you're going to bomb them again, man.

You're going to get me in trouble.

I'm scared.

It's been, you don't understand how bad this week has been with me and Luck.

It's just going to, I don't know, just don't, don't do that.

Okay, we got a deal, Prank Master.

No more, no more death threats, no, no bombing, no acts of terrorism, okay?

All right, good.

All right, hang on, everybody.

We'll be back with another prank call with our guest caller,

our good friend, Prankmaster, just one moment.

Delilo Chevrolet, how may I direct your call?

Hello?

Yes, um, I'm wondering, do you guys really do have a nice, succulent town?

It's Grover.

It doesn't sound like Grover.

Jackets, t-shirts, floor mats, sport bars, cleaning kits, ditch covers, dash covers,

chrome parts for your engines, and much, much more.

Number one goal...

What the fuck?

Takeover.

Wait, is that their hold message? That's creepy.

I don't know about the hold.

Thank you for holding it. It's one of the sales.

Hello?

You guys have been nice in Montana.

Excuse me?

You guys have been nice in Montana.

Yes, we do. That's our motto.

Yes, I love that motto.

Is there anything we can do for you?

Yeah, um, hang on. Talk to my brother.

What's up? How are you?

I'm doing well. How about yourself?

I'm French-Canadian is what I am.

I hear that.

So, you got the used cars or the news cars?

We have both. Used cars and new cars.

You got those new cars?

New cars? Yeah, we do. Those are the used ones that are almost new.

Alright.

Yeah, we got some of those, too.

I want one of those, but I don't want any black people that haven't been in that thing, dirty it all up with their marijuana smoke.

Really?

Yeah.

Well, I couldn't tell you about that, but if you come on over, we can definitely show you some.

This guy, he tried to sell me a car once, and he was black. Not to offend anybody, he was black.

Oh, really?

It had rib sauce all over the steering wheel.

Oh, is that so?

And I have a big fat gut.

I'm about 400 pounds, and my belly hits that steering wheel.

And my nice white work shirt.

Oh, it's a horn.

I sell boats, and my white work shirt got all full of old fermented rib sauce.

Is that so?

Yes, sir.

Ribs and wing sauce.

It tasted like rib.

I licked the whole thing clean, though.

Oh, do you lick everything that you see?

Is that how you do that?

Yeah, that's how I roll.

Do you have any barbecue sauce maybe over there?

We can do some licking.

Oh, you can do the licking you want.

I think so.

I bite sometimes.

I'll have to dip it in your ass.

You bite sometimes?

I'm very hungry.

If I get hungry.

I'll tell you what.

If you're a biter, let me put you with my partner.

Okay, hold on.

Oh, his partner.

I thought he was going to tell you.

I'm going to fuck with my buddy.

That's cool.

This guy's annoying.

I'm going to transfer him to somebody else.

You should just tell him you want to buy a car and he's going to come in there and pay cash for it right now.

He told us you were the best guy.

Look, there's a gentleman there talking very nasty to me.

I told him that I just want to purchase a vehicle, I have cash,

and I'm trying to see what exactly you have in any kind of Japanese foreign imports in that are used.

Something maybe in the late 90s, 96 or older.

Do you have anything like that right now?

Could you let me know?

No, we don't carry any Japanese Chevrolet dealer.

Most of our used car lot is Chevrolet.

Why is that?

We sell Chevrolets here.

We're a Chevrolet dealer, so...

Chevrolet crap.

Have you got a Cavalier?

Hello?

That wasn't fun at all.

Ah.

He was all serious.

No.

No, we don't have...

No, no, no, no.

That's not funny.

We don't appreciate crazy phone calls at the happiest Chevrolet in Hawaii.

We remember.

Who the hell was that Cobra guy anyway?

That's what it was.

They really hate the Japanese.

I bet you can't find a Japanese car in Hawaii.

No, it's a lie.

No, Japanese people go there all the time.

That's like the number one vacation spot in the entire world.

Yeah, but there's probably a segment of the Hawaiian population that hates Japanese still for the bombing of Pearl Harbor.

No, they hate us.

What do you mean they hate us?

No, not you.

Yeah, but there's a group of people who hate the Japanese.

Us, the more successful people.

Are you still there, Prankmaster?

I think the Grover is getting off.

Did you get to hear that?

You got to hear that.

What did you think about that call?

How was that?

Man, Prankmaster, what's going on tonight, man?

What?

Anyway, so you're going to be on tomorrow night, right, at 10 p.m. on Zolar Vision, right?

with a lot of people,

KDK and Piper Cherick

herself, Zola, like I said before,

Keith, and everybody should definitely

catch that. The Prank All-Stars

Evening.

How long do you think you guys will go?

I don't know. Okay. Well, don't sound

too excited, Prankmaster. I am, I'm just

talking.

I look forward to tomorrow, so

everybody tune in tomorrow for

Solovation.

Alright, well, thank you for calling, sir.

You have a great night. Bye.

All right, Prank Master.

That was Prank Master, everybody.

You're on the manhunt.

How disappointing, Master.

Hey, Prank Master, how you doing?

How you doing?

What's next?

I got a good idea.

Let's call a bomb threat.

I'm so angry, I got hopes in my mouth.

I got big, you got big toys in my mouth.

Let's call, let's call a bomb threat.

You're threatening everyone now.

Let's tell President Bush we're going to kill him.

No, no, no.

Don't even say that, dude.

Let's not do that.

No, no.

You can't even say that.

Let's call Matika.

Hello.

Yeah, we can call Matika.

Hello.

Who is this?

It's a prank master.

You want to call some pranks?

That's great, man.

That's a great prank.

Let's call somebody.

Let's call the one and tell them we're going to kill the kittens.

I can make really nice.

I can make really nice old-person voices let's hear that

I need uh, if you guys don't like cars

I want to bomb that place

the, the, the black cars

oh my god, oh my god

let's call, let's call somebody

somebody. I could do real nice voice. I got some great ideas, guys. Let's call the FBI

and tell them we want to bomb them. Let's call the White House. That'd be really funny.

Call the White House, and then we tell them we're going to assassinate. That'd be really

funny. And let's call a hooker over. I got that one turned on when I was giving her over.

All right. Did he really get turned down for that one, man? He did not. Tell him the truth.

He got turned down.

Oh, that was a good one.

Oh, yeah? Okay, yeah. Hang on, I'm trying to, I'm going to enter a valid link to your number.

Okay, you want, you want me to point calls?

Yeah, yeah. Who do you want to point call, Plank Master?

Don't make fun of me, you bastard.

No, I won't make fun of you. I'm sorry, I don't mean to make fun of you, Plank.

You guys, you fuckers.

I'm sorry. Sorry, Plank. Plank Master.

Let's call up another car dealer.

We can call, I don't have any car dealers available, but we can call Sanjay Shithole,

S-H-I-T-O-L-E, Shithole.

I don't know, in Illinois, in Aramon.

Oh, that's funny.

That's so good.

All right, well, I'm glad you like that, Planky.

Let's go ahead and...

That's so funny.

Hang on, everybody.

You guys are a part of me.

Okay, yeah, well, we love you.

I'm a part of you guys.

I can't sit on my own.

Oh, you can't do shit?

All right, well, we got Plank Ness on the line here.

Thank you for calling back.

Thank you for putting me on the line.

You're very welcome.

We'll be back in just one moment with Plank Ness.

Hello?

Okay.

Hello.

Hey, how you doing there?

You got any white cars?

Hello?

Hello? Yeah, let me let you talk to my father.

I'm sorry, I think you got a call.

Hello? Hello, Dad?

Listen, Dad, you got any white cars down there?

You got any white cars, dear?

Listen, shithole, I'm tired of you.

I'm tired of what you're doing to me.

Hello?

You're making me feel so, so sad.

Do you have a daughter?

Sorry, who is this?

Listen, listen to me.

Hey, I live down the street, and you stole my garden homes.

Okay, whom do you want?

I'm talking to the shittos.

You know what I'm saying?

Shittos.

I'm trying to talk to the shittos, baby.

You know what I'm talking about?

No, no, okay.

Just hold on for a second.

Listen, I'm going to get you.

I want you to understand.

You got any white cars?

Because I'm going to get you.

White what? White?

I'm gonna hump on you, the sides of your house.

You have two minutes remaining.

White, sir?

Point is point in the west.

I'm just, you guys have white course?

Sir?

They've been touched by a negro.

I'm very sticky.

Okay, ma'am, I'm not able to hear you.

Man, I'm what you think I am, a sissy?

I sound like a fag to you?

I'm not able to understand what you're saying.

Listen to me, I don't understand what you're saying.

I'm from, I'm from this country.

I speak in English perfectly. You can't understand that?

Then you go and get your GED.

GED?

It's good enough diploma. You know what I'm saying? You got any white cars?

White cars?

White cars. I think, because I want white cars. I don't like black cars. We don't like them.

Like them.

What, man?

Do you make the cool shit toes? Hello. I'm talking to the shit toe

Baby, what's up? Okay. Listen, I just trying to find a white whore white

What you know the white core? I don't like black whore the black whore

They don't even run right they don't start up anymore. The white car is good

It gets up every day hard-working. I think the man you got a wrong number. Listen white cool

Look at you, you baby

You know that one?

What's your name, Freddy?

Let me tell you something, buddy

I got your ass

You just lost your ass, buddy

Fagmas is back

Everybody in the chat room

We lost him

Yeah, we ran out of minutes

He hung up on me

I don't understand

Was that a good call, guys?

Yeah, we ran out of

I'm the master of planks.

This is Plank Master.

Who is this?

This is Reclude, right?

Who's there?

Who's this?

Who is this in real life?

Show yourself.

It's your Plank Master.

Plank?

Come on, you guys.

You guys don't know me?

We know you, but, you know, you may be offending somebody who's, you know.

Oh, what's there?

Yeah, you know.

Hey, let's call.

I got a great idea.

Let's call it a special Olympics, and then we'll get me.

I want to be in the shot put.

I'm gonna shot put bombs on the crowd

I gotta go

I gotta take some medicine

On my hips

I went down

And I got these swords in my mouth

Oh man

You get those flare ups

Yeah

I can't talk

I can't point too well

That'll teach you to pleasure women like that

Yeah well you know

She um

Um, well, you know, I wanted to give her pleasure, because y'all want to pay all that money for her.

Okay, look, man.

I want your finger raw, and she's great.

Okay, I got to go take some canker sore medicine.

Okay, well, good luck with canker sore medicine.

I got to put some Propylation H in my mouth.

Get some, put some Vicks on your lips.

I got a new lizard.

Oh, you got, oh, my God.

You guys don't laugh at that, you quits.

We can't laugh at the lizard, come on now.

No, you son of a bitch.

You gotta fuck me over now.

Tell Prankmaster it's okay, because he's in the chatroom.

He's a bit upset.

We're just messing with him.

Oh, that's okay, Prankmaster.

Okay, all right.

It's okay.

Boo, boo, boo, boo.

Oh, my God.

All right, dude.

Okay, bye-bye, kid baby.

All right.

Bye, Prankmaster.

Bye, Planky.

Bye-bye.

Oh, my God.

Prankmaster is taking a shit in the chatroom.

Don't be upset

Oh my god that was great

Who was that

I don't know but

That was probably Zolar right

It was the Zolar reclude

I thought it was Zolar at first but I think it's reclude

I don't think Zolar he's not in the chat

I thought it was Zolar

It probably was he always

He always fools me

No he's not even online

Yeah but that could be just like a ruse

Like a clever ruse to trick you

Who was it then

Who was it?

Maybe we'll find out one day.

We should have a contest on Name the Mystery Caller.

Well, no, I mean, like, we would, like, whoever it is,

any time Prankmaster calls in, you got to call in right after.

Yeah.

We hear from Prankmaster, and then right after we hear from Plankmaster.

Plankmaster.

Yeah, exactly.

That was, that was, I don't know.

Oh, we love Prankmaster.

He comes in with the calls.

Yeah, we got another character.

It's all in good fun, Prankmaster.

Don't get mad.

We love you in the madhouse.

Everybody here, come on, man.

And Prankmaster, to everybody, when anything happens to him, everybody's like,

oh, my God, what happened to Prankmaster?

Where's Prankmaster?

Is he going to be on the Zolar and everything?

Everybody's all concerned about Prankmaster.

Anyway, are you sleeping over there?

Hey, listen, the ridicule, man, is what it's all about.

People love you.

If they're not paying attention to you, they ain't going to talk about you.

It's all about that, man.

The roast is the truest honor.

I roast me.

I've got people telling me that they were afraid to say anything in the chat

because prankmaster would get upset he would cry um what did you just say wait what did you

wait a minute you just said anyway i don't know uh prankmaster is upset it's not zolar

prankmaster says it's not zolar i think i thought it was reclute it sounded like reclute at the end

of it man oh see reclute said it wasn't him yeah well no one wants to get hacked no no one wants

to get hacked anybody man he barely has internet he's got that he got dial up yeah exactly

I'm going to hack you in my 56k modem.

See, that's my Prankmas impression.

That's not that bad.

That was kind of like, hi.

Yeah, hi.

Exactly.

That was Misery, wasn't it?

It might have been Misery.

I don't know.

No, I don't think it was Misery.

I don't know.

It was a pretty good impersonation.

Yeah, it was.

It was pretty good.

Let me, I tried to, okay, good.

We got, the call already is working, so now I can tell you who it was.

The following is an exclusive of PCU Radio and Madhouse5.com.

We're going to have a running pole the rest of the evening.

Everybody just said, that's nice, Juve.

Okay, all right.

There you go, Juve.

Way to figure it out.

How was school this week, man?

Oh, it was great.

Yeah, man, I wish I was just going to school and didn't have work because it's just a bunch of shit, man.

Enjoy it while you got it.

It was my birthday this week, so I got to miss Monday.

Oh, really?

Your parents have to stay home?

Yeah, I bugged the shit out of her.

Okay, well.

I ate a box of Jawbreakers and I climbed a tree.

That's not right.

Okay.

Alright, everybody.

Misery's saying it wasn't him either.

Misery's saying he just said...

Everybody's like, who was it?

KDK?

People think it's KDK.

People think it's Misery.

Why?

I think it was...

I know who it was, but I'm not gonna say.

Yeah.

Misery says he's sick.

He says he has no voice.

I don't know.

Was that the dead?

Oh, shit.

Was that DD?

Yeah.

Alright.

Well...

So, Juke, what's up, man?

You wanna do a call or you're just calling to shit the shit?

Of course I want to do a call.

You want a call?

We have another shithole, or shitoli.

I guess these are Indian.

They're Indian, actually, not Arab.

It's not Arab, I guess, to the untrained ear.

But I know that they're Indian, apparently.

Do you know them?

Yeah.

No, I can hear from the way he was talking.

He was saying F as P.

That means, like, late.

Oh, shit.

Yeah.

Okay, so you want to call, we're going to call Nitlin Shitoli.

I guess S-H-I-T-O-L-E is the last name.

Do you have any, like, businesses?

Businesses.

We've got a few Walmarts that we haven't called.

They have a Subway in Alaska where it's, I think it's like 7 p.m. right now, 6, it's like 7, 8 p.m. right now.

Maybe you can call them and see if you can get, like, a whale sub or something like that.

Yeah.

Can I get some polar bear on that?

Yeah.

Or some polar bear on that.

Baby seal.

Yeah, maybe get some baby seal.

Yeah, you want to try to call Subway and run with it, or do you want me to look for something else here?

Do you think Subway will be open now?

Oh, Subway's open so many times.

In Alaska?

In Alaska, yeah.

The sun never even goes down in Alaska.

Yeah, they're open all night.

They're open 24-7.

Oh, yeah, definitely a man.

I guarantee it.

I will eat a pen live on the air if they don't pick up.

How's that?

A what?

Oh, man, a pen.

Okay.

That red pen right there.

All right.

There you go.

I hope the answer goes.

No, I mean, they're not going to answer.

All right.

Hang on, everybody.

We'll be right back with Joop.

He's going to be calling the subway in Kodiak, Alaska.

Either Joop or a red pen.

Yeah, or I'm going to eat a red pen if they don't pick up, so hopefully they do.

Find something to play here, no.

No. No.

Baby? No.

Baby? Who's baby?

Uh, yeah.

No, keep going down, scroll down, something like that.

Trumpet.

Ooh, ooh, you've played that before.

You've never seen it?

No, the Notorious Thug.

Oh, I guess I could. That would be great.

Play some T.O.K.

Play some T.O.K., okay, Callie-Co?

Hey, uh, look, man, be nice to Frank.

I'm not. I'm not. I love Prank Master. He's my friend.

You can pass Bone Thug.

That's like the remix.

yeah, look at that.

Biggie, Biggie, Biggie, Biggie, Biggie.

Biggie, Biggie, Biggie, Biggie, Biggie, Biggie.

That's Biggie right there.

He lost you. I cannot.

What's your ID in calling back?

Ah, I can't believe you.

I fucking lost you. Jupe, call back.

Holy shit.

Fucking god damn.

Athena woke up. She was sleeping on the couch.

She just jumped up.

Man, that cat was mad as hell.

Here are the speakers.

speakers, loud, feedback, and delay, oh man, I try to warn people in the chat room, if

anybody who never, I apologize for that, once again, this time it was my fault, I kicked

out, I kicked out the fucking shit to the speaker, oh my god, so yeah, Reckless says

that they did a Busy Bones album called The Gift, either the song or the album, I'm not

familiar with that one, I don't know what it was exactly, man, you know what, my headphones

I can't hear the left side of my headphones for some reason.

I don't know why.

It's fucked up.

Anyway.

I probably blew the damn speaker out there,

sticking your finger in the light socket.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, anyway, Prankmasters logged out.

My ear goggles jumped off my head and bounced off the floor.

Someone said that they didn't hack Prankmaster.

Everybody, I apologize to you.

Please call back in.

I apologize for that.

Call back in immediately.

You know the toll-free number.

or hopefully just redial.

I'm not going to give it out so no one else calls.

Let's try to

keep it up at least for a few minutes for the callback.

And he just took a break, apparently.

I think I'm going to, too. It's 12. We're going to take

a quick break, and we'll come back

and try to do some last few

calls. Jupe, if you're

out there, please call back so I can put you back on.

And in the time being,

like I said, go

to madhouselive.com.

Once again, madhouselive.com.

And if you want to also join us in the chat room, if you're listening,

if you're not in the chat room already, you can go to kdkprankcalls.com

and join the chat link, and you'll be on with us.

Anyway, let me go ahead and take that break, and we'll be right in just one moment.

It's now 12 o'clock, and you're listening to PC Radio.

Okay, we're back.

I don't need to go on.

I know, what are you doing?

I don't know, I'm confused.

I like this beat.

What do you think about this beat?

This is a neptune.

I don't know.

That's a boldest name.

Fast trombies.

I'm not into it.

too much i don't really like enough i like that one the the the nerd song the cop car yeah exactly

that's a good song yeah the nerd song yeah and then that one they do about uh strippers i like

that okay other than that no and then the one that's only produced with snoop that was good too

oh beautiful no no drop it like i thought oh yeah i don't like that beat though what

yeah it's that was a hot shit it sounds like a video game or something you like that i guess so

So, yeah.

I don't listen to much of that, but.

Okay, so KDK says he wants to hear the call, the mystery caller,

which is like some kind of big debate now, apparently, of who exactly it was that.

Milkman ripped it already.

Milkman, you're on top of things.

Yeah, I got nothing else to do.

Yeah, man.

Milkman, if, yeah, I don't know.

It's kind of like a running poll in the chat room here.

Well, Milkman, Milkman, Milkman, who do you think it was?

You know, now I'm stumped.

At first, I thought it was Milkman.

I think it's Milkman.

I think it is.

I think it's Miltman.

What do you think about that, Miltman?

It was me.

I called him.

Oh, yeah, I see.

Okay, so please don't make no fun of me because I was riding on my scooter, my wet cruise,

my scooter there.

That's cool.

Hey, Miltman, you know what I noticed?

The competition isn't even on tonight.

What's up with that?

You know what I'm talking about?

I'm not supposed to say his name.

Hey, you know what?

You know what?

It is past the ASCAP hour by about seven minutes.

Oh, shit.

We've got to do the ASCAP minute.

That's right.

All right, we got to do the asset manager real quick.

Hang on, we got a caller.

This might be Juke.

I don't know.

It's a 408.

What the hell is 408?

408.

It's Canada.

It's on him now.

You know 408 Canada.

Yeah, it's Canada.

They have...

Canada, you're on.

Ah, here we go.

Who are you calling with?

Operator here, do you know how to use Relay?

No, no, no.

What's your company?

Who are you with?

Sprint?

Hey.

Operator here, I'm sorry.

Do you know how to use Relay?

No, I don't want to use...

We don't want to use Relay.

Where are you calling from?

Operating room, sir.

I'm not allowed to be involved in conversation.

I'm talking to the operator.

I declined the call.

I declined your call, damn it.

Thank you.

I have to be real quick.

Don't call back.

Don't call back because, motherfuckers, you start doing that shit, I'm going to end the

show.

I don't give a fuck.

You start with that relay shit.

What is that?

The same.

You go to a website and shit, and you start.

All you got to do is say no and go to the next call.

That's it.

But why do you want to take the relay call?

It's going to take them more effort.

Try and call back, then he's supposed to say no and go to the next call.

Relay calls are long and boring.

Oh, because it takes a real long time for them to relay.

Because they've got to relay and read it back and everything.

And it's just been done.

You know what I mean?

It's been on Howard.

It's old now.

Yeah, it's old.

Real old hat.

It was funny the first two times I heard it after that.

It's just so long and boring.

And it's like filler.

And it's just an embarrassment to the prank call community.

We don't do that in the madhouse.

No, we don't play that.

We don't do that on PCU either.

I know Zola.

In general, no one does that.

I don't know anybody that's ever done it.

I know someone who does.

Milkman will bomb whoever does that.

No, we can't say that.

I will bomb you in my little white and brown rascal scooter.

Yes.

See?

I have a feeling that it was him.

This son of a bitch.

Damn it.

Why would you make fun of him?

How the hell could you figure out what he was doing?

What song is this?

It's a little milkman because I'm 66 years old.

I'm trying to find out.

There's a song here called GSM.

Hey, play some T.O.K.

That was T.O.K.

Oh, my God.

Come on, y'all start off the far eyes, man.

Yeah, man, you know about T.O.K.

The Chi-Chi Man song.

What?

Oh, Chi-Chi Man?

I think I have that.

Yeah, man.

That's old.

Yeah, the T.O.K., man.

Is that the name of them?

Chi-Chi?

Yeah, it's T.O.K.

I don't think I have it.

Hang on.

T.O.K., I think I have it.

That's what you're talking about.

I had it, I thought.

I had it.

Yeah, they do that song.

I love that stuff.

I thought I did.

There it is.

I've never heard this before.

Is this rap?

This is reggae or something.

Reggaeton.

Not reggaeton.

No, I don't like it.

That's it.

You like this, Miltman?

You pervert.

Oh, this is awful.

This is it.

Hey, I want that one there.

You have to send that one to me.

Miltman, you like this?

this oh yes really seriously that song is about killing gay people isn't it

isn't about about blowing up um or burning down gay bars and stuff and killing the gay men inside

of it i don't know man it's just a cool song i have no it's it's about killing gay people i

remember that because i had this girlfriend who would go to gay bars with her gay clothes with

her gay um her gay friend and come home and told me that this one time they were playing that in

there and all the guys were dancing and some jamaican guy was like if they only knew what

they were talking about i don't know it was like some gay i don't know man put it up to a pole

because i don't think so anyway that's enough gay talk for the night yeah um yeah we got chilies

where'd the chilies start coming in from we got a bunch of chilies coming in uh 408 is california

san jose area okay thank you lonesome he's always on top of the number aspect of the show um we

We should try another call.

We called the shitholes already.

Goatsy?

Denise Goatsy.

Oh, Goatsy.

That's the end of Tavia.

New York.

That's late.

Yeah, he's on exhibit A.

That was an hour over an hour ago.

Yeah.

Wait until you see that.

I'm not going to see Goatsy.

I've never seen it, and I don't want to see it.

I've heard of it.

I don't want to see it.

No, thank you.

Nobody post it in the chat room.

I don't want to click on it in an accident.

I'll be gay, people.

Doesn't he have a bunch of shit, too?

Goatsy and he's like a bunch of, like, tub girl and all that nasty shit?

No.

You know, I guess I've seen just a little bit of the CD, man.

If you look at it, you know, the hole in the CD.

The artwork is, like, lined up with the hole in the CD.

That's Goethe.

What are you talking about?

I don't know.

I was so confused.

Look, man, I'm confused now.

Exhibit A, man.

KDK's new CD.

It's just been released, man.

Where did you come out?

It's a real slick production.

Where did you come out?

We're talking about Exhibit A.

Exhibit A, yeah.

Exhibit A is...

You said Goethe.

Goethe.

Oh, man.

I see what he's, yeah, he's trying to say, go see some guy who, I don't know, I don't want to tell you, Andy, it's sick.

Anyway.

I don't want, it's uncomfortable.

What does it, no, no.

Exhibit A is what, $8? Is that what KDK is selling it for?

Man, and I'll tell you what, that's a hell of a deal at that price.

Yeah, it's his newest prank call, his newest call, it's, let me read it out, KDK prank calls his proud tenants.

And that's Exhibit A, a CD collection of almost 80 minutes of the funniest and most memorable KDK pranks of all time.

There you go.

And he's selling it for $8.

Man, that's a hell of a deal.

$8.

And you know what?

I think he gives one out every night on the show on Saturday night, right?

I don't know if he does on...

He didn't do one last night, did he?

You know, I don't think he did, but, you know, hopefully everybody will tune in Saturday, tomorrow night,

for the big prank all-stars,

full art vision, combo, lunatic fringe,

and who the hell knows what else,

and see if you can get your free CD.

All right, exactly.

It just may happen.

Well, how about I go ahead and try one more last call?

It's getting, I don't know.

I don't know.

I think I sent a call out at night.

I don't know.

How many people?

We've still got a pretty decent amount of people.

Yeah, man.

I don't know.

Yeah, I don't know.

Okay, well, I got another call.

Let's do another call.

Yeah, let's do one.

Burn that card up.

Let's burn the card up.

Exactly.

Thank you.

And thank you, Milkman.

You're welcome.

big props to Milt Man

braving the tough streets

of the Virgin Islands

yep

there's no Virgin

I got back

and I almost got a ticket

I'll have you know

where he could be

captured and

sold into white slavery

at any moment

yeah exactly

but I'll forgive it

Jamaican Red Stripe

beer

and they left me alone

Pirates of the Caribbean

Goatee is on the CD

of his

I guess Goatee

what did KDK call Goatee

is that what it is

told you

he did really

God

Milt Man is like

an idiot

it's a lot like

it was a prank call

No, KDK isn't.

I'll memorize this old CD.

There's a freaky dude that everybody watches on the internet,

and it's also featured on the CD.

It's kind of like a cult classic.

I'm the real Goatse.

Yeah, Goatse.

I put Goatse in a closet and took his place.

I think maybe you called here on the show a while ago.

It was a plank mystery call from Goatse.

Do you think possibly Goatsy was the one who did the Plankmaster call?

You know, I'm still wondering.

This is like a running chat room poll here.

You know, no one has figured it out yet, and I'm still wondering myself.

I think we never will.

Hopefully we will one day.

We'll find out.

Yeah, somebody eventually will come forward.

DTT seems to think it was you.

I think it was Milkman.

I think it was Milkman, too.

You have three votes.

I don't remember him.

I don't remember him talking to me that whole time.

Don't you guys stop ganging up on me because you're watching me.

I'm telling you now.

I shot my wife's scooter to him, boy, now.

What's it mean?

Yeah, a real man can't keep, like, a train of thought that long.

Yeah, it's like, choo-choo.

He would be like, who's the playmate?

Yeah, a little bit of rock and a lot of car.

He was bad ass.

All right.

Let's do another call, everybody.

I'm not going to play Chi-Chi-Mon again, man, okay?

Yeah, Chi-Chi-Mon was awful.

That was awful, man.

I don't know why I hated that.

One time for the last time, you guys.

Put some machine gun.

Commodores everybody. Be right back with you in just one minute.

KKCD, wow.

Please enter your authorization code.

Have five dollars.

Please enter your destination number now.

The fuck am I calling?

You have five dollars.

Please enter your destination number now.

In a twenty-nine seconds.

So what's up?

Hello.

Bubble the Love Sponge is gonna be on Sirius 2 with Howard?

Is it though?

Yeah.

Hello, how you doing there, old man?

Pardon?

How you doing there, old man?

Hi.

Good.

How old are you?

Okay.

Good.

Let me ask you a question, sir.

I don't have time for questions.

Thank you.

Well, I don't have time.

I'm going to send you a fine in the mail.

I'm too old for your questions.

Die, you son of a bitch.

God damn it.

That didn't work too well.

I had Chili's here.

I didn't want to call Chili's, man.

Fucking Chili's.

Roy Homo.

We're homo. We're homo in Holiday, Florida. An old guy answered.

They give me gas.

Chili gives you gas?

Chili gives you gas. Exactly.

I used to say Honolulu.

What can I do with chilies?

What can I possibly do with a call of the chilies? I don't know.

Tell them you got gas, and you want to find out what they're going to do for you now.

Call them and ask them why they don't do the Baby Back Rib commercial anymore.

Tell them you love that.

It's my favorite song.

I will never go back.

You can have a CD with it coming out, because it's the hot shit.

He was like, I remixed it, tell me you remixed it under some different beats and you wanna come play it for him.

Yeah, but I don't, what if, what if I gotta come through?

They're not gonna be able to hear me.

You have dialed a number to which long distance charges apply.

What do you mean?

Please dial-

An 800 number, you bitch? That's an 800 number.

This fucking phone. This fucking VOIP shit.

Please enter your authorization code now.

What kind of phone is that, an Emerson?

Uh, Uniden.

Oh.

It's the Target one. It's the Target. The Target Emerson is Uniden for electronics.

You can't get no Emerson unless you're in Wombat, right?

Well, you can get it at Walgreens, right? I think I've seen it at Walgreens.

You're just so fucking smart.

It's the truth, man.

You really get it at Wombat. You really get Emerson at Wombat.

It's the truth.

You will get it if you're lucky.

You ever go to anything that's Emerson?

What?

You ever get any Emerson headphones? They suck.

Yeah, they are garbage. I agree.

Hello?

Hey, what do you got to go over there?

Hello?

Yeah, what do you have to go?

Everything on the menu. Would you like to place an order?

Possibly. Let me tell you what. I'm very hungry.

I don't have any money. I'm very hungry. Can I come by and just give me some food?

Well, I'm going to try one more.

These people confirm by like at 10 o'clock and shit.

Maybe we call them like order a taco or something, you know?

Order a taco?

KFC, yeah.

Yeah, repeat to that.

Whoa, a lot of those KFCs have Taco Bells now anyway.

In Florida, man, they start bringing those out.

You know, they got all three of them in one stop.

It's really cool.

Let me try one more call here.

Should I call?

I don't want to call another Chili's, man.

I'm not feeling Chili's tonight.

Let me try Roy Holt.

Well, I called the shithole already.

It's called Lynn Lame.

Try to shoot the shit.

Oh, that's too dry.

I don't know if I'm over that.

You got everybody?

Last call of the night.

We'll be right back.

I'm not talking about the guy that just fucked you and left.

Fuck him, okay?

Please enter your authorization code.

You do not have sufficient funds to make this call.

Message.

Motherfucker.

Dial the old card.

Use the new card.

Way to go, Milkman.

Yeah, thanks a lot, Milkman.

Use the new card.

Shut up, boy.

Use the new card.

Sorry.

Mama, what's the daddy song?

Papa was a rolling star.

Please enter your authorization code now.

Nobody appreciates daddy.

Now, Mama got to rub this job.

I ain't going front.

But come on, at least people appreciate me.

You have $4.95.

Please enter your destination number now.

Women need compliments all the time.

Women need food, water, and compliments.

That's right.

Balance will allow you to talk for eight hours, fifteen minutes, twenty-nine seconds.

See that Walmart on Don King Road?

I think that's named after Don King.

Yes.

Yeah, I think so too.

Where is it in?

Alaska.

Yeah.

That's where he's from.

Don King.

Eskimo.

You have four dollars, ninety-four cents.

Oh, I messed up.

All right.

Well, that's it.

it. After three, I call it quits. A little earlier than normal, but it's just been that

kind of night for me. I have to thank Andy for showing up. No problem. Thank you for

being in. That's why I took a nap earlier today. Yeah, alright, good deal. You're not

off schedule now, right? Well, I got to work at like 8 tomorrow morning. I got to work

at 7.30. Yeah, your job is easy. You just sit there. Ah, work sucks. Anyway, other than

that, what else have we got here? Milkman, of course, thank you for being on as always.

hey no problem time man welcome back in no problem i don't know who the hell it was prank master

it wasn't me baby no it wasn't me i'm sure it wasn't me no man doing your big talk up thing

i like that yeah he's mad ass you know okay well i want to thank everybody in the madhouse man

because we have a live show right here tonight in the party room.

We have several famous appearances tonight.

Also, don't forget to get your music from KDK Productions.

Exhibit A, CD at www.kdkprankcalls.com.

And stay tuned for tomorrow's night ass-kicking show.

They've got the Prank All-Stars featured on Zolar Vision Lunatic Fringe.

Hollabaloo.

They're going to be a big throwdown.

Make sure you be there

Or be square

10pm

Look out baby

Yeah

Right here

Where you're listening to this

Go to

KDKprankcalls.com

And of course

MadhouseLive.com

Milkman

You really need to look into

Maybe being the

The announcer

At the

At a

At a strip club or something

You have

You have the talent

I think

You could do that

You could do that man

All you horny hand clappers

Isn't that what they say

Horny hand clappers

Hey what's up

It's a strip club

And uh

Milkman

man, say it for me real quick in your taco voice. Say, now all you horny hand clappers

put your hands together. All you horny hand clappers put your hands together. Eh, maybe

not. I don't know. I should tell a story about when we went to the strip club. Yeah,

you should tell a story about when we went to the strip club. Yeah, because my girlfriend

is right there. But you were 18. Horrible. I don't know. We were at the strip club. It

was eight years ago. It was the only group of people in there. It was us and a couple

of our buddies

and we're sitting there

and we go walking

and we sit down

and as soon as we sit down

probably like five minutes later

the DJ guy

who had a Wolfman

had a jack voice.

What did he say exactly?

It was

What did he say?

You gotta pet

No, he told me

I had to tip.

Yeah, he said

No, no, he said

Look at this fat

perverted motherfucker here.

He just started

talking shit about you.

Look at this fat

perverted motherfucker here.

Yeah, and he said

What else did he say?

He said

You gotta pet the kitty.

I forgot what he said.

He said

Yeah, he said

I had a tip.

I don't know what that is.

I don't think it was

fat perverted motherfucker.

It wasn't quite that mean.

Yeah, he did.

He said that.

He said it was fat.

I think he was like

tubby pervert

or something like that.

No, he said I was perverted.

I don't even know.

I was just sitting there

watching the girl.

Yeah, but you were.

You were creepy.

How was I creepy, man?

You just have a creepy

look on your eye

when there's like

new girls around.

Yeah, Sam never...

He looks like a...

Like a dog

looking at a pile of meat.

Like many piles of meat.

Like a steak?

Not even once.

It was just piles and piles of sticks.

I don't friggin' close like that anyway.

I've only been twice.

Both times were with you, actually.

So that's it.

All right, well, madhouselive.com.

Thank you for that story, though.

It should have been funny, but I can't remember exactly what he said.

I used to tell it, right?

Yeah, he had that weird one.

I was like, yeah, look at that.

He said this fat perverted motherfucker.

No, I know he didn't say that.

It wasn't that mean.

I think he said something like that

Yeah it was something like

This is the first time I've seen pussy

It's going crazy

Alright well everybody

That's the night

You want to make sure to listen to Zolar's show tomorrow

Whose guest is as we said before

Kitty K and Keith will both be there

Getting respectively

Getting tattoos and piercings

Whatever

Prankmaster is also due to be here

Maybe Poinkmaster will call in

That'd be great

If you're listening to Game Point Master

You'll probably go off

You'll go very well with that

I'm going to try to

I'm just going to replay that hour of the show

While I take Andy home

Yeah I'll give him his ride

And that should probably contain that

At some point

I also hear it's rumored

That High Pitch Eric will be on this show

Also tomorrow night

Via live webcam

cam he's interested in a prince albert piercing really live on the camera so this could be a real

blowout show that's gonna be crazy you can't wait for that one when you see it in here i bet you

i bet you you're real excited i'm gonna rip it i'm gonna rip that one for us milkman in case i

miss it yeah i imagine you will man i don't know do you so he's gonna be actually out so he's i

I thought he was just calling in.

He's actually going to be in Zolar's apartment or whatever?

He's supposed to show up now.

You know, he was invited.

Whether he shows up or not, I don't know.

But I think it would be in his best interest to show up because he'll have a good show.

He'll get some good promo out of it.

Okay, well, here's your preview of tomorrow's show.

Oh, yeah!

You like that, you f***ing pig whore?

Yes!

You want some spit in your face, you dirty piece of s***?

Yes!

Please spit in my face!

Oh, yeah!

Look in the camera, whore

Say hi to your daddy

Hi, daddy

Look at me

Say hi to your mommy

Hi, mommy

Are you proud of me?

I'm a fat pig

Whore just like you

You smell like a f***ing elephant

Open your mouth, pig

Okay

Why don't you, pig?

Look at the camera

I love spitting my mouth

Off the camera and tell us what you are.

I'm a messy little spit-covered dirty pig.

Okay.

Oh, my God.

That's over at HowardStern.com.

That's the Bang High Pitch.

Oh, Lord have mercy.

That's going to be a great show tomorrow, man.

I can't wait.

If you didn't know, go to our vision live at 10 p.m. right on this video.

That was High Pitch, Eric.

If you don't know who we're talking about, there it is.

He'll be there getting a Prince Albert, possibly.

Be sure to listen to that, everybody.

Anyway, I'm going to call it a night.

Thank you to Lonesome Loser for coming in with the numbers.

Joop, I'm sorry.

I don't know.

I swear to God, I had everything set up and I lost you.

I don't know what happened to Joop again.

He got dissed.

I'm so sorry.

I asked him to call back.

I guess he didn't come through.

Everybody else in the chat room and everybody else listening tonight,

Reclude and Mystery Caller for Poink Master, whoever that was, that was great.

And I invite you to call Zolar's show tomorrow.

I bet you that would be great.

Let's see if that happens.

If not, I'll try to send it to Zolar so he can play with him there next time and see what happens.

Let me see if he'll play.

All right, well, that's the show, everybody.

Thank you very much for listening.

And I'm playing the wrong fucking file.

Hang on.

That's the standby.

This is the end show.

All right, everybody.

Have a great weekend.

We'll catch you here next week.

Bye for now.

Peace, you guys.

You've just been listening to a sample of The Madhouse.

If you like what you hear, be sure to listen in every Thursday night at 9.15 p.m. on PCU Radio,

your number one source for live and recorded prank calls.

For more information, visit madhouselive.com or kdkprankcalls.com.

Calls (28, 1 h 9 min of 2 h 39 min)

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