2005-10-13 Show (part 2)

What the fuck is this?

Listening House Radio Podcast.

What's up, everybody?

Good evening.

You're listening to The Madhouse as usual.

I'm your host, Carlito, here by myself in my place.

How do I say?

By myself in my apartment.

No Andy tonight.

Andy decided to take certain things, and he's not able to make it, apparently.

He's not going to be awake for very much longer.

But I do have the milkman on via satellite, I believe.

Sir, are you there?

Yeah, what's happening, Carlito?

Sorry, Andy's missing in action.

Well, yeah.

Hey, you know what?

He lives a crazy-ass life.

And, you know, I talked to him, and he sounded like he was asleep.

He was like, no, but I'm going to be asleep soon.

And I was like, what'd you do?

He was like, yeah, you know, I did blah, blah, blah.

I was like, yeah, yeah.

You fucking traitor.

Athena's out with her girlfriends tonight at Universal Studios doing some bullshit,

and I didn't want to go because I wanted to do shit.

Hey, Milkman, check out this song here.

Have you heard this?

All right.

I heard myself today to see if I still feel.

I focus on the pain, the only thing that's real

That's Johnny Cash.

The needle tears a hole

This is his last song that he released.

The old familiar thing

You've heard this, right?

Try to kill it all away

I'm getting chills, man.

But I remember everything

good song everything what have i become my sweetest friend no goes away in me and you could

have it all i'll play the rest of that later that actually you know i that is his um he that's his

last song that he recorded and it's actually a nine inch nail song i believe is that right

by Trent Reznor.

That's a crap.

Man, I got chills up and down my spine.

The Man in Black.

Rest in peace, big man.

Yeah, he wrote that right at the end.

I think that was about two weeks before he died.

No, maybe not.

Maybe I'm exaggerating,

but it's a really good deal.

He heard the song.

I guess he heard the Nine Inch Nails version of it

and decided to make a cover of it.

Got permission from Trent Reznor.

And yeah, that's a badass song.

I heard it.

That is freaking wild.

It is on the commercial for my favorite TV show,

which is The Shield,

which starts up again in january season five um great one of the best shows on it is to me it's

the best show that's you know on now it's not on now the season ended in june season five starts

on fx uh fucking when is it tuesday nights wednesday nights i don't know what's going to be

but that is uh i just found out today force whittaker is going to be in that show

this year they had glenn close on as a special uh guest all season and they had um who's the guy

guy from barbershop the black dude i forget his name now he's in a bunch of black movies he was

trying to steal the atm and barbershop i forgot his name now oh man yeah i know you're talking

about x not coming to me yeah he's pretty funny but um yeah uh he's he was on it too anyway i'm

getting off track send you a card number here okay you know what i am i tested the one i have

from last week and i think i have about two hours left okay so yeah i checked everything on here i

have already been confirmed the stack of them and we need to go through and get rid of as much as

we can so yeah okay yeah they expire no no i just i hate having a bunch of open cards because if i

lose one and i'm out yeah well actually pc use out because that's another thing i use them for

right i got one two three four five six seven open cards yeah that's crazy yeah well hey um

let me see uh how do i sound on your internet i got i think someone said the sound is a little

low i think i hope i'm okay uh the encoders are looking just a bit low maybe if you bring up the

overall i mean in my phone you sound good yeah it's coming up you know i adjust my i adjust my

level to what i hear all right but i can see the encoders are are lagging there and they're not

really uh spiking at all kind of low okay all right well i'll keep working on that hang on let

me try boost out a little bit here boosted boosted boosted boosted i don't know i don't know it'll

have to do i'm sure i'll get it there it goes this is another boostier oh my goodness oh my god

God, no way.

So anyway, everybody, as I said, thank you for joining us.

It's 9.42.

I only started about 10 minutes late today, so thank you, everybody, for hanging in.

Who wasn't?

I see the chat room is starting to fill up a bit.

We have the regular crowd is in there.

It's a little slower than normal, but I'm sure that will pick up in a little bit.

If you're not in the chat room, be sure to go to kdkprankcalls.com

and click on the chat icon and browse around through KDK's site,

who is the guru of PCU Radio, the brains behind the talent.

What is it you call him, Milkman?

Milkman.

He is the manner.

He is the cerebro of the prank call.

Yeah, there you go.

There you go.

And, you know, I'm sad to report that I was monitoring the Wikipedia page for KDK,

and it has been taken away.

It has been deleted for being inappropriate.

Yeah, very, very, very shitty situation.

You can hear the crowd is not very happy with that.

I guess they say he's not...

I want to shit in the ass hat of whoever that hater is, Carly, though.

Yeah, you know who it is.

I'm not going to say who it is, but you know who it is.

What can you do?

And the booze should stop all of them.

Does the booze just stop all inappropriately?

Live in Folsom Prison is just a record all need to own.

That's very true, Tucker Mike.

And didn't I just play that?

That's in one of my promos, right?

isn't it? Let me see.

Let me see. Maybe I didn't play it.

Did it play right now?

Yeah, the Take Your Pants Down rejoin.

What the hell is that? I guess I didn't play it then.

Huh, I don't see it here. Yeah, I didn't play that.

Yeah, I'll be, yeah, I'll have

Tucker Mike if you're listening. I'm sure he's listening.

Yeah, keep

listening. You'll definitely hear Folsom Prison.

That's one of my rejoins. That's usually my

first rejoin of the night will be that one.

Anyway, shout out to Hayes

because he wants me to shout him out, so there you go.

Everybody in the chat room,

We've got, I want to thank Booney, Chainsaw, DoubleD.Ed's in there, DTT.

The super fan of PCU is in there, of course.

You've got Hayes, HomeworkGuy, who's a new person I've never seen before.

Jolt, who's one of those guys that I never see talk, but he's in there.

I wonder who that is, seriously.

So we've got quite a few people that are just on Madman's server.

Oh, okay.

And they're logged into, like, Illinois and so many other rooms.

And they just stay logged just about everywhere on the server.

That's why there's a bunch of unexplained names that are on there, like year-round.

Yeah.

Spoonjabob and all those.

Okay.

Well, that explains a lot.

I don't think they're actually listening, but they're logged in because they use a server.

Okay.

Yeah, Spoonjabob is another.

Well, Tucker Mike's in there, of course.

Milkman, you're in there.

And Lonesome Loser, the man with the numbers.

And he's already came through with numbers.

I have one, two, three, four already.

He's already confirming them.

Nice.

Just confirmed.

We have an old guy.

We have a redneck guy.

We have a black woman.

And then we have a guy.

Do you have any numbers from last week that we didn't handle?

Do you have any new numbers?

Because those numbers are great also, man.

I haven't added to the list, but I do have last week's numbers still.

You do have last week's numbers still?

Like the nightclub or whatever.

Okay.

We never did call 2-plus-2.

You can call 2-2-Benny's and some of the other clubs.

Nice.

Moon Rakers.

Nice, nice.

Hey, I've got Recluse asking me here what the gizmo number is.

We don't have a conference set up, but I'm sure you can set that up if he wants to.

Yeah.

Let's get things moving full steam.

I'd say in about 20 minutes we'll try to get Reclude or maybe Zolar or somebody on here.

I was talking to Zolar because I didn't think you were going to be in here at all tonight.

Actually, I apologize about that, but I've had some major PC problems.

These Microsoft updates wiped out my last format, so I had to go back.

I cannot believe it, but restore for XP and save my butt.

I have to get me on air tonight, so I had to do a reinstall, and then I ghosted this thing.

Well, that sucks for you.

It's no laughing matter.

I really hate it when that kind of shit happens to me.

You know, hey, I want to tell you, you've talked about Windows Vista.

I saw some updates today that came out of Windows Vista,

and it looks like a lot of the things that you heard that were wrong with it,

it looks like they may have been addressed and fixed.

Okay, well, I get all the PC mags I subscribe to, PC World, PC Magazine, Computer World, Extreme Tech, and there's another one over here I do.

Anyway, everything I've read, they're like, there's going to be big money for it.

And so far, people I've talked to, they're actually doing the beta test.

I got a copy of the beta test, actually.

They said it's full of bugs.

Whether they actually get it up and running by 2006 by release date, it's hard to say.

Maybe they will because you're looking kind of bad now.

Right.

I'm sorry, when is the release date supposed to be for it?

It's supposed to be 2006.

Okay.

All right.

Well, we'll see if that happens.

Hopefully it does.

It's hard to say.

You know how they get.

But there's three major cornerstones to it.

Number one that's in it, it's like a fancy user interface, like graphic user interface.

face. It's going to look kind of like

a Mac setup. If you ain't never seen

it, it's real

glitzy looking title boxes

and all that crap. You can

flip the menus over and

read on the side of them or read them on the back

and do a bunch of weird, goofy

crap like that. The main thing was

supposed to be WinFS, which is a new

type of file system, which

is a big advance over

NPFS, which is what

we use now. Right. It used to

be FAT32.

was the old standard

and now NTFS

and now,

yeah,

okay.

Yeah,

I mean,

I can remember

back in the fat days,

dude.

Oh,

yeah.

I actually worked

on the original Windows,

you know,

3 and before.

3.1?

Yeah,

even before that,

yeah.

Yeah,

word.

Anyway,

let's stop talking

about computers

because,

you know,

you know how people get.

They got all antsy and stuff,

so I'm just getting

everything 100%

a little bit.

We'll start prank calls

for the night.

Just let the numbers

accumulate

and if you want to share,

by all means,

in the chat room,

Everyone be sure to go ahead and give me any numbers you have,

any ideas you have for prank calls, by all means.

Also, madhouselive.com is the website for the show.

Again, that's madhouselive.com.

Check it out.

I just did an update with the last few episodes,

as well as the prank call you heard before,

which is a prank call from last week, I believe.

What, the people in Puerto Rico that I called,

saying they wanted them to get out of Puerto Rico?

And we got some Puerto Ricans for some reason

It was a pretty good call

Yeah

That was interesting

And also I'm going to have that bit that Reclude did

Did I play that?

Yes I did, Reclude does a great

Great Latino gangsta sounding guy

It's awesome

Oh yeah

He's good man

Bruno Vega

I sent him a copy of that for himself

So he could use it in his show

And I'd like to say congratulations to Reclude for a great show.

Dr. Lego and Prank the World that they did also was great.

Man, I apologize.

I missed the whole thing this week with all this crap going on.

My ISP was giving up.

And then I was trying to get all these updates and stuff.

So maybe, you know, somehow fill me in or give me a rip of it later.

Yeah, I haven't been streaming anything lately.

I should be, but I'm not.

But that's that.

So congratulations.

To Reklu, to Dr. Lego, great shows that they've had.

KDK had a short but good show last night, I think.

He didn't do much, I mean.

But he, you know, he did an effort.

Didn't Zola go on last night also?

No, I don't know.

I didn't hear it, never hearing.

I believe Zola went on.

Someone went on last night.

I heard KDK sign, and I stayed on for a while to see if Zola would come on.

And then I just turned down the volume, and then I went about my business.

Yeah, yeah.

And Chainsaw's asking why Zola comes in and out like that.

I don't know.

He's kind of weird.

He's like a ninja.

as long, he has a lot of enemies in the chat room, Chainsaw, that's why, he can't stay

in one spot, yeah, he's always on the run, so, that's Zolar, um, anyway, let me see what

else has been going on with me, I don't know, um, yeah, like I said, I'm alone, I got all

the lights off here, it's just really dark and all moody in here, Athena will be here

like, probably like in an hour and a half, two hours or something, she's at, she's at

the stupid haunted house bullshit they got over there in Universal Studios every year,

Which I've gone every year except for once

Since they started it in 93

Like they take the Universal Studios Park

And then they shut it down early

In a night time

They got people dressed up like

Like psychos

And they have people with fake chainsaws

With no blades on it

They make the noise and everything

And they chase you around

And they set up these haunted houses

You can go through

Like five or six of them

And they're all

Like really expensive haunted houses

You know what I mean

Like really quality stuff

That they put in there and stuff

And people get really drunk

Yeah I've only seen the commercials for that

I'd always wanted to go.

Yeah, all in Hornets.

I heard they're just an awesome ass-kicking team.

Yeah, well, this is the first year I finally don't go because it sucks.

It's gotten worse.

Every year it gets worse and worse.

I don't know if it's because I've gotten older because I started going when I was, like, 14,

and now I'm 26, so maybe that's what it is.

I don't know, but a lot of people agree with me that it gets packed,

and it's still too hot here, man.

Like, today was a cooler day.

We're getting into what they call seasonal, which for us is a high of 89 degrees.

So that's like a break for us

So people are starting to open their windows

And shit like that

I'm seeing a lot of people in the neighborhood

Opening their windows and stuff

I've seen some snowbirds too

Yeah, well, yeah, I think

Yeah, I guess so

Yeah, there should be any

But I think they usually come after November

Most of them come after Thanksgiving

They do Thanksgiving at home

And then they

They all start showing up

Yeah, well, yeah, they start showing up

After they do Thanksgiving

December 1st

They stay until like March and shit

So, let me go back into the chat room

Oh, yeah, I'm trying to say

If you want to reach me here on the Madhouse, if you'd like to get a hold of me, you can go, as I said before, to MadhouseLive.com.

Click on the Listen Chat link on the top of the page, and you'll be zoomed to the beautiful pages I've made with all the ways to contact me.

You have my Gmail address there if you'd like to write me with any ideas, any comments, any complaints, or submit your own prank calls for myself to play.

or I can pass them on to KDK or Zolar or Reclude or anybody else who's on this show,

Billy Mira, can't forget about him, Dr. Lego.

Share it with them so they can also play it on here.

Maybe even if it's good enough, you'll probably get on the rotation

and you'll be able to hear yourself maybe sometimes when there's no show on,

which I've done actually this week for the first time I heard a few of my calls

just on the rotation while I was at work and it was pretty cool.

I was like, hey, that's pretty cool.

That's me.

The new Newt Gillespie call, I heard it on KDK's show.

Oh, yeah.

He debuted right here.

Yeah, I know.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, and that's a great call, that Tom Hanks call.

He's a dumbass.

That's the best soundboard call I've ever heard.

Exactly.

Yeah, I saw some new soundboards today that were up.

I forget for who.

I think there was a Celine Dion freaking out on CNN soundboard that I saw today for the first time.

I don't know if KDK's seen it, but I saw the page and I bookmarked it on my browser at work.

and I didn't send it

so I'll probably

I'll check that out

and I'll send it to him tomorrow

just so you can check it out

because he's got tons

and tons of sun boards.

She is a pompous diva too.

Yeah.

Oh yeah.

Well she freaked out

on CNN.

I think it was about

Katrina or something.

She had a breakdown.

She's a weird

weird bitch.

Yeah.

She's stupid.

Anyway

if you want to reach me

at AOL Instant Messenger

you can do that

at Madhouse Radio.

Yahoo Messenger

is Madhouse

PCU Radio.

Again that's

Madhouse

PCU Radio

Radio, AOL Instant Messengers, Madhouse Radio, MSN, Madhouse PCU Radio at hotmail.com, and

Google Talk, you can also reach me at Madhouse Radio, what else can I say, yeah, the email

for the show is madhouseradio at gmail.com, I'm going to go ahead and also give out the

toll-free line if you'd like to call in, the toll-free line is now open, you can reach

to the show at 1-888-278-8509.

Once again, the toll-free number

to join the Madhouse tonight.

Free HR to you and cost me tons of money,

so why don't you make me broke?

1-888-278-8509.

It doesn't cost that much money.

You know what I've noticed?

I'm the only person on PCU

who pays for his own inbound phone calls.

You know that?

Like, KDK offers this for Zolar, Dr. Lego.

to go. Sean doesn't do any inbound calls, I don't think, unless you know his personal

number. He doesn't have many callers calling in, but that's how he does it. But yeah, I

pay for my own calls, and it's not that expensive, at least, I don't know. It hasn't been yet.

It's been billing.

The call eight server?

Yeah, well, I mean, well, the call eight server? Huh? Yeah, the call, yeah, the call eight

number, yeah. It's a good deal. It's a good deal. You should look into it for yourself.

You know, I know you have some people in your family who are in jail and stuff, and

It's a good way for them to get a hold of you, you know, they don't have to pay.

We have our first caller.

You know what happened to me last week, right?

You know, part of the reason why I wasn't here.

Hang on, let me get this call right quick and then we'll deal with that.

All right, my friend?

Yep.

If I can turn off the friggin' ass music.

You're on to Madhouse.

What's up, my brother?

What's up, man?

How you doing?

Oh, sorry.

No, no, no, that's me.

That's me.

I had a job.

Oh.

I forgot I got to do this switcheroo when I put people on the phone.

So what's up, Red Flute?

How you doing, man?

Not bad.

Yeah, just doing boring computer work, so I need to get some fucking yells out on some bastards over the phone.

Oh, yeah?

I'm going to be just a dirty pervert tonight.

All right.

We've got to call a lady, then, if you're going to be a dirty pervert.

We can call a guy, too.

They get even worse.

Okay.

Well, I've got Dick.

I don't like gay.

Most people don't like gay stuff, so.

Well, you've got your choice.

You've got an old guy, a redneck guy, a black woman, a guy, an old lady, and a guy.

Old lady.

Easy target.

At the home of Dick Dingle in Pullman, Washington, an old lady answered,

Ooh, I got a number of a white guy who lives in Puerto Rico.

I'm going to handle that one.

You know, you should call that.

That was my plan for you.

But you want to do a pervert call then.

Call the old lady.

Yeah, we can do all of them.

Well, here's what I was thinking as I was taking a shit earlier.

I was thinking that it would be cool for you to do your Latino voice calling that dude

and telling him that he needs to get out of your country, Puerto Rico,

because you're Puerto Rican and you don't need white people taking our jobs and shit.

That's pretty funny.

Yeah, we could do that.

All right, cool, cool.

But we have to call Dick Dingle first.

But unfortunately, guess who's trying to call him right now, tying up the whole thing?

Who?

I'll give you one guess.

Prankmaster.

Yes, he is.

Put him on, brother.

He won't be able to hear you.

Damn it, man.

Call him back.

What I'll do, let me put him on and then I'll call you back on the freeway, all right?

Sounds good.

We're going to tell him that you're Dick Dingle and you're going to prank call him, all right?

How's that sound?

Yeah, do it, brother.

You're on the madhouse.

Hello?

Who am I speaking?

It's Prankmaster.

Prankmaster.

Well, you can't hear me over there?

You got a lot of ruckus back there.

Where are you?

Sounds like you're in the den.

Yeah.

You're in the den?

Yeah.

Well, turn on the TV, bro, or step out or something.

I can't hear you.

Hang on.

All right.

Oh, no.

There you go.

All right.

How you doing there, Prankmaster?

Okay.

You doing okay?

Not too off.

Hey, so last night, it didn't work out with your mom calling in, huh?

No.

All right, well, keep pushing, and I'm sure that it will work out.

What can I say?

I'm saying at least, you know, KDK is willing to hear another side of the story,

and it seems like people may be settling down with this, whatnot, you know.

So just relax, and I'm sure things will be okay.

Yeah, I hope.

Well, don't sound too down.

How about we think about positive things, and we do a prank call right now?

Okay.

How would you like to call Dick Dingle in Washington?

Dick Dingle.

Dick Dingle, an old guy answered there not too long ago.

Dick Dingle. Would you like to call him?

Sure.

All right. We're going to do that right now.

Everybody, we have our good friend Prankmaster online.

Thank you very much for calling.

And we're going to have him prank call Dick Dingle live on the air in just one moment.

We're right back on the Madhouse.

Okay.

Okay?

Okay.

You sure it's okay?

Yeah. Let's try him. Let's try asking.

I don't know.

I need an idea.

Stop everything for Prankmaster.

All right.

I'm just kidding.

What can you do?

I don't know.

No, just come on, man.

You're the prank master.

You're the master of pranks.

You know what to do.

Not really.

I just go with the flow.

Yeah, try to do a survey with him about his favorite potato chip.

I don't know.

And just make it all creepy or something.

Just get creepy on the guy.

Just get sick.

Do something.

All right.

All right, well, good luck with that.

Here we go, everybody.

We'll be right back in just a moment.

You're listening to the Madhouse.

It's now 10 p.m. sharp.

Good deal.

Yep, I sent you the numbers.

I got it.

No worry.

I got it.

Thank you.

Hello, this is Dingle Residence.

Hello?

Hello.

Hello, this is Dingle Residence.

Is this Dick Dingle?

Yeah.

What do you want?

I have a question for you.

What is your favorite potato chip?

What is this call about?

Why are you calling me this late at night?

We have created a new product called Dingle Chips,

and it's a combination of...

Well, you got a speech impediment, boy?

Can you speak like you just molested a nine-year-old, you fucking child-molesting fucking idiot?

You just got fucking owned, you fat bitch.

What do you have to say about that?

Why don't you take your fucking hearing aids out?

Oh, speechless, huh?

Go, go, go, go, go.

Fucking kid.

Yeah.

What's up?

What happened?

Some asshole.

We don't want to deal with assholes.

That would suck.

What else have we got?

I can call him.

No, I think it was somebody from the chat room.

It was obviously somebody who listens to TCO.

Oh, man, really?

Really? I don't know. I didn't think it was, I don't know, some dick?

But yeah, I don't know, man. I'm sorry about that.

You know, shit happens. You know how it is.

Yeah, who was the number from, anyways?

I'm not sure. Milkman, who was it from? Milkman got it from somebody.

I don't think he's sure anymore.

Charlie Rogers.

Charlie Rogers, is it? Yeah, Charlie Rogers.

Yeah, that Charlie Rogers has been in there for a while.

See, you don't know Charlie Rogers. You haven't been in the chat room for a while.

That's probably what's going on.

Yeah.

All right, well, do you want to try another? I got Mr. Vincent Prick here.

Is it from, who's it from?

uh this one is actually a milkman who's this from this is this right here it says parker

parker people have any uh confirmed or not he's still coming through he's he's verifying some

let me go ahead let me get you with myth uh let me get you a vincent prick hang on a second hang

on hi hey how you doing hey what's up carlito hey not much how you doing double d i'm good

Hey, where's the PM, that fucking Pito?

Where's Pratt, right there?

Whatever, yeah.

He's on, whatchamacallit, he's on my other line.

But if you hang up, I can connect you with him,

and I can call you back through the toll-free line and connect you with him

if you don't have a problem with the phone ringing at your house right now.

Hey, can you call my cell phone?

All right, let me, can you send that to me in the chat room, like real quick?

Yeah.

All right.

Yeah, hold on.

Okay, Anthony, go.

Yeah, all right, cool.

He's going to send that to me in the chat.

This will allow you to talk for one, four minutes, twenty-nine seconds.

How's that sound?

Yes, this has been some prank.

Hello?

Yes, I have a couple questions for you.

Do you like milk, sir?

Milk?

No, do you like milk?

No, but I'm a prank master like nine-year-old and girls.

What the hell?

What?

He just hung up again.

Now he's calling back in.

Let me get it back on.

Thank you, Zolar, for the impromptu.

Yeah,

are you really trying to get me fucked up around here?

I don't know what the hell's going on with these numbers, man.

Milkman, who's sending that in?

I was Zolar.

I can tell you right now.

I was definitely Zolar.

That was Zolar?

Was that Zolar?

He's not in the chat right now.

What was the internet code?

He was in the chat, but it wasn't for now.

What was it?

Something like...

That was Parker also.

It was...

Yeah, Parker.

718?

Yeah.

There's Zolar now.

Yeah, Zolar is in here, Zolar.

Yeah, Zolar is in Zolar.

Can you give me a, I had a really good idea for, you know, the prick, but, you know, I was going to say, like, you know, do you like milk?

He goes, well, we have a new product called Prick.

It's the milk of a penis, and we've named it Prick.

Prick, it does the body good.

Okay, well, we got one here.

Let me see, let me go through all the names here.

These are from Peoples, because, oh, trust me, just go with Peoples.

I've trusted him, you know.

Okay, you got it. I got, let's see, Mark Jamison in Compton, Los Angeles.

Compton, Los Angeles? Compton, yeah. Was it Compton, L.A.?

Is Compton, L.A. or is Compton, California? I don't know how it goes.

All right, we can try that real quick if you like.

All right, sure.

Okay, so you're doing the milk thing?

Yeah.

You know, we're a big fan of milk on this show. We have a milkman who works on it.

Hang on, everybody. We're going to try this third time's a charm. Just give me one moment.

uh your current balance will allow hour 24 minutes okay 29 seconds hello hello yeah is this uh mark

jameson oh it's the dd who is this dd the dead dick that's dead you motherfucking pito hang up

hello i'll go fuck yourself oh jesus fucking pito what's with the language

Fuckin' this fuckin' asshole.

Holly, hang up.

Alright, hang up.

Fuckin' piece of shit.

You fuckin' da dick.

Go tell...

Tell him, Frank, man.

Go fuck a nine-year-old motherfucker.

Da dick, da dick, da dick, da dick, da dick, da dick, da dick.

Go fuck yourself, motherfucker.

Da dumb, da dumb, da dick.

Go fuck yourself, motherfucker.

I'm gonna...

I'm motherfuckin' smarter than your piece of shit.

Yeah, shut up.

Shut up, you fucking nine-year-old raping motherfucker.

Call the other hand up, please.

Okay, hang on.

That obviously wasn't from Peepers.

Milkman.

Explain that, Milkman.

What the hell is going on?

I keep getting all these numbers.

You got that from the dad, didn't you?

Okay, well, that makes more sense.

He just gave you his own number.

That's probably what it was.

He just gave you his own number.

I figured he'd have a good number.

You should actually give that out until, like, the end.

Like, actually, you know.

Well, I'll speak with him.

I'll speak with him, and I'll get him straightened out.

He's young, you know.

He doesn't know.

I don't know.

He just, you know, hang on, I got a Bruno Vega here in Puerto Rico, in Vieques, Puerto Rico,

which is that island where they had that base that they kicked out, the Americans out.

You want to try calling him?

Who's it from?

Bruno Vega, it's actually from, this should be from Lonesome.

Is it from Lonesome?

Yeah, yeah, Bruno Vega, Beverly Hills, Guaynabo, Puerto Rico.

Bruno Vega, okay.

Bruno, all right, hang on everybody, we'll be right back with Bruno Vega in just one moment.

There?

Yeah.

All right, Bruno Vega.

Four times the term.

Yes.

You Bruno?

Bruno Vega.

Yes, have you heard of the new product called Prick?

What did you say?

Have you heard of the new product called Prick?

I don't understand you. Speak clearly, please.

Have you heard of the new product called Prick?

No, have you heard of Chastity Best for a fucking nine-year-old, you fucking child molesting son of a bitch?

Hang up. Hang up.

You fuckin' son of a bitch, you charmalistic motherfucker, you a piece of shit, man.

Why you fuckin' not in jail, you son of a bitch?

You hang up the phone, hang up the phone, little baby.

I can't take it.

Yeah, you conditioned up by your cunt tiger, you fuckin' cockaroachers, cuntsuckers, you motherfuckin' piece of shit.

Are you finished yet?

I'm going to put a dick right in your mouth, you fuckin' little friggin'.

I can't believe that my fans would do this to me and to you.

You know what I mean?

I have more faith in the fans of the Madhouse.

I feel like quitting right now.

I'm not doing a show ever again.

This is so horrible, what they're doing to my show.

My show.

My own fans would give me numbers like this.

Oh, you know, they're giving you their own phone number.

Yeah.

And, you know.

I feel betrayed.

I feel like, you know, it's like Pearl Harbor all over again.

I know.

Well, look, I got this one here that Milkman himself has confirmed, apparently.

We got a Virginia Byron.

Virginia Byron.

Yeah.

Mountain View, California.

All right.

Let's go ahead and try that right now.

We'll give this one more shot.

Hopefully, everything's working out.

I have milkman's assurances. So give me a second. Hang on everybody. We're gonna try this again. We'll be right back in just one moment.

Virginia Black.

That's black.

Bring up Carlito. It's Zola.

He knew my fucking girlfriend. He's a nine-year-old.

I'm gonna call my cell phone on my friend.

Zola, how could you do this?

Zola, you're hurting me. This is insane. I'm trying to, you know.

You know, I had to put my friend's phone number in your fucking instant messenger to fool you.

Close. I don't know.

Me and you are going to have a talk, Zola.

I got the nine-year-old girl coming in tomorrow, and she's going to be on my show.

So everybody tune in to our vision at 10 p.m.

It was now 12-year-old.

No, she's 12 now, she says.

Yeah, and we'll have her on the show tomorrow.

Good deal, man.

Good deal.

You know what I say.

If there's grass in the field, you can play ball.

If it's good enough to bleed, it's good enough for me.

Don't say that one.

Don't make a pee old enough for me.

All right, Frank Baxter, keep your hands up the nine-year-olds.

You're with a fucking pudgy baby gorilla bastard mongoloid.

Oh, my God.

Oh, fuck this house.

Oh.

Oh, and by the way,

there's numbers coming over tomorrow.

It's stripped for us.

180 bucks I gotta pay you, though.

180?

Seriously, so dark.

Go fuck yourself.

Hey, listen, bring your father over here

so I can slap that fat fuck, too.

Seriously, kid.

Go fuck yourself, dude.

You have no life.

Hey, listen, sue me, okay?

I will.

What are you doing?

Make me famous.

I will.

I'll sue you for the harassment.

Hey, listen, when you lose all that weight,

can I buy this shit that's gonna be

half your body, that flab,

Frank Nesta had his stomach stapled, you know.

Did you hear about that, Carlito?

I've thought about doing it myself.

I sound like surgery.

Yep, yep.

He's got big stitches across the bottom of his stomach like a C-section

when they take a baby out of a uterine.

Oh, really?

Yep.

That's it, man.

What are you going to do to that loose, frabby skin that's hanging off your body

when you lose weight?

Tattoo it or sit on it?

You just cut the skin off, you narrow it to a board, and you practice on it?

All I have to say is to all of you listening, all of you in the chat room,

how dare you?

How dare you hurt this guy's feelings like this?

Frank Nesta, maybe you have some fans out there.

on Carlito's, uh, you know, show.

Maybe you should give out your phone number again.

It's sad to say to society, I think.

Hey, we're gonna call it a night here.

That's it for everybody.

Thank you very much for listening.

Stay on the air, and I won't bother you no more, Carlito.

I'll just listen and stuff.

No, no, Zola, me and you will talk.

Me and you, that's all I gotta say.

Me and you will talk.

All right.

Hey, I'm not...

Keep your hands to yourself.

Put them in your pockets,

and when that loose thing went off your body,

donate it to symptoms out there

from burn units that need that skin you got

hanging off your body.

Michelle.

Thank you, Zola.

And he laughs like that

I don't know

I just

No I kind of knew

It was him

Like from the beginning

Because I could tell

How he

Like when he sounds

Like a girl

You can kind of

Tell it's a guy

You know

Because it's like

Hello

Yeah

Yeah that's very good

Look I'm going to go

I'm going to call KDK now

I got to discuss

Some stuff with him

And see what I'm going to do

Make some phone calls

I've been talking to Ted

And everything

And I think I might

Talk to him

That's it

Thank you very much

For calling Frank

Alright dude

Dude, um, you know,

I'm not canceling the Madhouse.

I'm not going to have a talk with Zolar.

I'm not pissed off at anybody on the air.

Anybody listening, I should say.

Anybody who contributed, that was all great.

I'm just...

Satan's in there.

Satan's saying, he's too stupid to know Carlito's doing it on purpose.

You know, I don't know.

Seriously, this is great.

But I feel bad now.

If Athena was here, I would not be doing this.

Because she would be telling me not to.

Oh, my God.

So that was that, everybody.

Wow.

That's insane.

Hey, Milkman, I can barely hear you, Milkman.

Applause.

Yay.

There you go.

Applause, yes.

Applause.

I'm so good with this shit tonight.

DTT tells me, Carlito, don't be nice.

That's what he says.

He's like, fuck that.

Don't be nice, man.

So props.

Who just participated?

That was great.

And I had more people that wanted to get in that, right?

I know Brandon Vegas was telling me, but I couldn't spit it out any longer.

It was just too much torture for that guy, but that was great.

Zolar, Reclude the Dead also contributed.

And to everybody else who wanted to get on that, maybe we could do that some other time.

Brandon Vegas, yeah, from Charlie Rogers.

Brandon Vegas is taking blame for being Charlie Rogers.

That was great.

After the asshat incident, now he's getting the Charlie Rogers bust.

And the greatest thing is I told him what?

I'm going to have a talk with Zolar is what I told Zolar.

I'm going to have a talk with you.

Like, I got beef now, man.

We're going to talk like men or something, man.

I hope Zolar understands that was just a joke.

He's a smart guy when it comes to things like that.

Yeah, he is.

He even played the whole thing out.

I sent him a number from my friend's cell phone.

Yeah, and no, I'm not going to be moving the madhouse to PCU.

I don't even talk to Ted.

I've had, like, maybe one or two conversations with him online when he used to be.

Hey, we're in TCU, baby.

Yeah, this is TCU.

That was for everybody here.

I'm not moving anywhere.

I love TCU.

I love everybody here, and I love KDK.

No, it was a prank just to keep the thing looking real.

Yeah, we had to keep it a theater of the mind.

We had to keep prankmasters on our side because, I don't know,

it's just the thing to do.

I don't know.

It's a different avenue.

Hey, but you know what?

If I had taken a different attitude all this time,

we would not have been able to have done that right now.

That was great.

No, it would have been over with.

Yeah, it would have been.

So I think I'm definitely going to be passing that on to everybody.

Everybody, I'm going to have to make a copy of that tonight and listen to it,

because that was awesome.

Oh, that's going to be a classic.

Yeah, that was a classic.

That was a classic.

It's a gangbang.

Most definitely, man.

Bruno Vega even got in on that.

That's crazy.

Oh, my God.

He just got recluded, too, with that.

That was so awesome.

And I act all confused.

I'm like, huh?

What's going on?

What?

He's like, I can't hang up.

Oh, Jesus.

Pushing the button.

Yeah, exactly.

Beep, beep, beep.

That's going to solve your problems right there for sure.

Start beeping buttons.

Oh, man.

So what else can we do now, Milkman?

Dude, I sent you a whole bunch on Google Talk of clubs here.

If you're interested in any of those, there's always somebody there.

Yeah, okay.

The problem is that they're loud, but let me pull those up.

Hang on.

Because I saw you sent me the Tutu Benny restaurant, which I've called before.

Yeah.

I was that girl who kind of, I think she kind of dug me or something.

Yeah, yeah, that's right.

Right, you were telling her about your scratch-off tickets and stuff.

Yeah, that I didn't get scratch-off, I don't know.

Yeah.

That was weird.

Yeah, Weedman wanted to get on that too, huh?

I'm seeing now.

He wanted us to call him as a stoner residence, unfortunately.

Well, he's in Canada too, and I don't think I can call Canada.

Well, I could, but it would probably take up all that phone card odds left.

I think it's still local battling.

Oh, yeah?

Well, look at that.

I didn't know.

See, I never called Canada.

Uh-oh, Prankmaster's busting me now.

Let me see what's going on.

Oh, see, he thinks that you were giving me, because I told him, just tell him you get

the numbers and you give them to me.

That's all you do.

Tell him, you know, I mean, that's your job right there.

Right.

Don't take any shiver, Frank.

I wonder, he can't listen, right?

He doesn't have a computer.

No, he don't have a computer.

He just knows when the show starts.

He started calling right at 9.15.

He's like, oh.

Yeah, yeah.

Crane is home.

So, anyway, let me go into the chat room, look at what Lonesome's sending me here.

He's got me with Sue Pranker, Musu Do, Simi Booty, Virginia Baron Ho, Douglas Dick.

Yeah, these are all the names I was using for Prankmaster, actually.

Two of these are apparently Americans who live in Puerto Rico, which is interesting.

Douglas Dick.

I wish Recklood would call back.

I'm getting him to do Bruno Vega, calling the real Douglas Dick and telling him to get out of Puerto Rico.

Damn it, man.

Yeah, let me tell Recklood here real quick.

Hang on, just bear with me, everybody.

Oh, yeah, by the way, you want to reach us here, of course, the website to go to is madhouselive.com.

When you go to madhouselive.com, you'll be able to click on the Listen, Join link on the top right-hand corner of the page,

and that's your key to get into the chat room.

It's absolutely free.

You can use your Java client for free on your web browser, or you can use the IRC option.

The server is irc.lazy-net.de.

Again, that's irc.lazy-net.de.

That's not a German term, though.

It's American.

Yeah, PCU is a channel.

Thank you very much, man.

You're always so helpful.

AOL Instant Messenger users, reach me at Madhouse Radio.

Excuse me, Madhouse Radio.

Google Talk, same thing, Madhouse Radio.

Yahoo Messenger, you can reach me at Madhouse PCU Radio.

MSN users, Madhouse PCU Radio.

at hotmail.com

and also

Myspace, I'm on Madhouse Radio

is the URL

myspace.com forward slash

Madhouse Radio, I'm probably going to

change that soon into

one of those, you know how they have special pages for

bands where you can post music and stuff

I'm going to, Sean Ward told me to go ahead

and do that, that's a better option because I can put my

prank calls up there, spread them around

yeah, so anyway

go ahead and get that call in, let me tell

I was trying to tell

sent oh boonie sent me 20 numbers in the chat room hang on let me look at that see what boonie

sent me oh hell yeah he did look at that that's some shit all right we got record back here

the madhouse i need to be able to come dude you want to come just uh it's it's it's better with

me it is it is better with you look no more i'll have that talk with zolar and everything will be

just fine don't worry frankie i don't know why you guys just fucking with me i'm what you know

You know what I found on the god damn KDK site?

I'm bored of me.

Well, did you punch on me?

Yeah, well no no.

Cause I'm the master of porn.

What about the wink? I like that.

What kind of people are you gonna bomb them?

I don't bomb nobody, I don't hurt nobody.

I know, you're peaceful, you just molest people.

I go, you show off, you bitch, you bitch.

Enough of that fuck.

Let's just call it Plague Some Fucks.

Okay, do you want to try that plan I had?

We got Douglas Dick in Puerto Rico.

Douglas Dick, yeah.

There's Douglas Dick or there's also a Virginia Ho.

Virginia who?

Virginia Ho.

Virginia Barron Ho.

I don't know.

I think Douglas Dick is a better shot to be an actual white person.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

A guy answered there about 30 minutes ago, so you should be straight.

It's an hour later over there, same time as Milkman's place.

It's like 1130 or something.

Puerto Rico is still the same time, Carlito.

Yeah.

Oh, that's right, because they don't have a time change.

I don't know.

I used to go to Puerto Rico every year, I should know this, but you're actually going

to be calling Rio Piedras, which is a city near San Juan, which is pretty ghetto, so

this might be actually interesting.

I don't know why anybody from the States would want to live there, but there it is.

Okay, so it's San Piedro?

Where it's near?

It's near San Juan.

It's very near San Juan.

San Juan, okay, all right.

It's in the suburb of San Juan, and the guys, Douglas, just tell them, you know, just like

like here you would tell me that i need to get out because you know i'm taking your job shit like

that well oh yeah so i say how are you fucking the bastard cracker you fucking honky cracker

you yankee you go back to fucking your gringo that's what you got to say gringo gringo you

bastard you ain't no part of us exactly all right we're gonna have to go back to your country there

we go everybody this is this is reverse racism at the best reverse racism let's try it we'll be

right back in just a second okay we don't know hey what's okay hello stop yeah why are you doing

taking a job slingo why are you in this country taking the jobs from the brown-skinned people

you explain that to me you think it's funny open your mouth you coward show yourself piece of

shit call me from someone i'm going to stick something up your ass and be a nice blade you

go back overseas you fuck please enter your death number now let's call virginia now fuck man i got

I didn't want to put up a fight.

Yeah, he's a faggot.

He probably knows.

Like I had that call before.

He's like, oh, shit.

Bruno Vega is trying to get him.

Yeah.

Virginia, oh.

It never works when I do it like that.

Virginia.

Virginia, I want to speak to Virginia right now, please.

Excuse me?

I want to speak to Virginia.

Virginia is sleeping right now.

Okay, well, you go and get him, man, because this is really important.

Who is calling?

This is Bruno Vega.

King?

Hey, why are you coming to this country?

You take away the jobs from the blue collars?

Buster, get Virginia up right now.

I'm going to come to your house, man.

You don't fuck around with me.

Bruno Vega.

You hear that name?

You tremble in fear.

Who you are?

I am Bruno Vega.

It's M.I.

You speak correct English, but you sound like some kind of Puerto Rican.

Why you take the jobs from the real Americans like me?

I was born in this country.

Well, I was born close to this country.

And it makes me sick.

So you go get Virginia now.

You wake her up.

It's an emergency.

Please enter your destination number now.

Damn it, man.

I want to start calling, like, you know what I'm saying?

Like, act like, it's going to be like, I appreciate you.

Like, act like a hillbilly.

Well, I was thinking about calling and trying to get people to join the Ku Klux Klan in Puerto Rico.

See how that would work, you know?

Oh, God, that would be funny.

You bet.

You'd be like, yeah, we got a Puerto Rico problem here in this place.

We got to get some people together.

Good luck.

You got any numbers in, like, Atlanta?

Some, like, deaf or black number?

Like, Jenkins?

Yeah, exactly.

Williams and shit

Yeah, Conrad

That's a plan for sure

Well, hey, Reckless, thank you very much

And you're going to be on Tuesday night again, I suppose, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah

You got everything worked out with that problem you had?

Yeah, I went and bought a mixer today

Because I'm fucking tired of this

It's like, the reason is

Because I got like fucking half

I got so much fucking equipment down here

But I can't use it with that DirectX

Because I haven't got a

All our sound cards are compatible

With like a different kind of standard

use like the regular jacks in the back okay oh yeah so what i'm gonna do is i got i got a way

to bypass it i gotta set up some crazy shit just so to work okay but uh i got it all in i'm gonna

have a microphone permanently like taped to the phone and then i'll be able to talk but you know

what i'm saying like i'll be i'll talk to the receiver but everybody will hear it okay oh yeah

i got you yeah on the other end yeah i figured you should get a phone patch man they're not i

don't think they're that i'm gonna get one soon they're not my fucking boss has one it's like 150

$150 there is so nice.

And I used to use it all the time.

I used it to record so many pranks, and then he fucking, like, hid it from me.

Because, you know, I like to prank people.

Yeah.

Oh, really?

So he's like, oh, that's an...

Exactly.

Bastard.

He fucking hid it.

He won't tell me, but I said, I want it in that room right now, because he knows I'm using it.

So he, like, locked the room and shit.

I'm like, yeah, you fucker.

That's all right.

I'll just...

I'll get it together.

Well, you know what?

You know what I did?

I bought two...

For $13, I got it hooked up so I can talk.

It's going straight to the computer.

I had to talk into the handset, but I can hear through the headset.

You know what I mean?

Kind of like it's a lot better sound quality.

It's a lot easier.

Well, you have to send me what you got.

I'll go ahead and get it.

It's a lot easier.

You know what?

I'll send you a copy of exactly what I got on the Radio Shack receipt.

That's where I got it.

$13.

Oh, shit.

It was one cable and two adapters.

You want, I don't know, one-third, I don't know, something like that.

I don't know.

Oh, God, dude.

You have to send me that.

I'll go buy that, like, tomorrow.

I'll fucking take this mixer back then.

Yeah, exactly.

Oh, the mixer is good for other stuff, though, but hey, you know.

Yeah, but, I mean, we've got fucking tons of mixers down here.

I mean, we've got, like, this $120,000 mixer.

I can't even use for this fucking shit.

It pisses me off.

You've got, like, all these nice, expensive tools.

I can't even use them.

Like, the cadenza mics would just, there's no way.

They would be way too sensitive.

Like, it would just be, like, crazy.

But, anyway, I tried to use that Beta 87 one night.

It's real nice.

It's, like, a $200 mic.

It's, like, one of our cheapest.

So, I tried to use it, but it was, like, crazy.

So, but, anyways.

ways yeah man send me the if you could send me the fucking receipt or whatever man i'd love that

yeah yeah i'll copy down exactly like the serial numbers or whatever and you'll know exactly what

to get or you know what i mean i'll send you i'll hook you up i'll tell you what you guys cool did

you like that did you like the theme song to the the hand release no i didn't hear it yet i'm up

the side of the oh yeah send it to me yeah send it to me it's like me singing like michael mcdonald

punking out a little molester bitch and oh okay oh yeah i did hear that i did hear that yeah me

and athena were actually listening to that laughing we were on the couch listening to that

That was a great night.

All right, yo.

All right, well, peace.

I'll talk to you later, man.

All right, thank you.

Bye-bye.

And that was Reclude, everybody.

Thank you very much, Reclude, for calling in today.

Sorry, everybody.

Just bear with me here while I try to get him.

I'm going to give him one more chance to get on.

He's logging off now.

That's a good sign.

Let me do the same and log back in.

Comment real quickly on next week's show.

there is a slight

small possibility that I will not be

able to do a show next week

if so I will have a

best of that I've already created

of the best of I think it's

like four different shows I think the best part

of all four of them so

it's a it's a really

funny show it's stuff that you've heard before

but you've only heard it once before

and it's all cut up so you won't even know

so be sure to listen

I'm 90% sure I'll be here

but just in case I'm not

for some reason,

which I can't explain right now, unfortunately.

If I'm not, there will be a show.

I'll send a copy to Milkman,

KDK, whoever I can to see if they can broadcast

it for me. There'll be a show next week.

No matter what, there'll be a Madhouse episode

and there's only a 1 in 10

percent chance that it won't go on.

Let's try Milkman once more.

Hey, what's up, man?

Hey, man, this is a party room, man.

Can I take your order, please?

Alright, I want extra party tonight.

Okay, extra party.

Dirty.

So I get with extra cheese?

Extra KY, actually.

All right.

Could we interest you in a double serving of that?

I don't like double.

Just single.

I don't want to go too crazy.

Anyway.

All right.

Well, hey, I'm going to take a break.

I'm going to take my first break of the night.

Cool, man.

Yeah.

Are you excited about that?

I'm ready to go, dude.

I'm back on the air, and now I can go pee.

Great.

Well, hey, now's your chance.

All right, everybody.

We'll be right back in just a moment.

It is now 1045.

Go ahead and come through with those numbers

If you have them

When I come back and when I try to hit a few numbers

That Boonie sent me

It's got me some dude selling a Furby

A bike for sale

An Afro Hawaiian erotic servicer

Calls herself a brick house

Look at that

calls herself a brick house.

Free skin analysis,

minister for weddings, 20 years experience.

That's got to be funny.

Ice cream truck for rent, private

bartender for hire, Halloween tarot reader,

a janitor who has

equipment for sale, and a taco

Aquastand, that's for sale.

That's interesting.

And, of course, Lonesome is coming through with some numbers.

I want to try to hit some more of those.

We'll be right back in just a moment, everybody.

Please stay tuned.

You're listening to Madhouse on PCU Radio.

Brooklyn.

When do you motherfuckers...

Soft Carlito is back.

I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

Madhouse is on PCU.

I hear that whistle blowing.

yeah baby what's this that you're telling me now prank master is saying that he wants you to call

him yeah he's uh i guess he must be upset from all the going wrong calls that were going on the

air and i'm having trouble with my sprint service right now i can't even call him so i told him i'd

have to wait till later to call him okay and you're gonna try to ease his mind about whatever

it is that's bothering him i suppose i guess i guess i just you know i can't stay on the air

all night with him on the phone but i mean i'll try and call him here in a little bit if i'm you

know if he's still up and i'm awake it works out with him what's reclute doing uh reclute's posting

in what's been going on yeah reclute is pretty much saying he owned him i was telling prank

him was it out directly okay yeah so anyway he blocked him or something so yeah i guess he

finally blocked him so hey yeah yeah so you like the you like the john uh the um the uh the johnny

cash on yeah i remember that video was big news i remember seeing the video and like eh whatever

And then I finally got around to checking out the song today

After I saw that commercial

That was cool

And I read all about it

His last recording is pretty appropriate for his life

What's the name of that song?

It's called Hurt

Oh my god, it just puts chills on my spine

That's the man in black, dude

He was cool as hell, man

If you watch the video

If you watch the video, it's even better

Because apparently they shot him in a way

where it's in his house and it's just um he has no makeup they don't bother getting the best

angles they show him as it is him that's exactly like he wanted it and he's old old guy by then

he's old he was old he was dying he was sick you know and he's just and it shows him in his house

and then i guess there's some kind of um some kind of muse johnny cash museum in california

that was flooded was flooded over and got closed down because people lost interest in it and it

was all decaying and all broken and they were showing that in the video they were showing it

and it was like a testament to his life like he was this great thing and now he's just all broken

and everything he was really and then they kept showing like pictures of his past like his youth

when he was young and everything yeah in the 60s man he always had that black leather jacket and

everything and they call him the man in black because like everybody even the establishment

couldn't stand him and all the kids liked him you know because he was like cool you know he was

was even a partier and stuff yeah exactly yeah so he lived life like people like him man i wish i

could say i live like like johnny cash because he lived it to the mat you know what i mean like

people like that jimmy hendrix he was the ultimate you got jimmy hendrix he just went out all in his

life you know i mean he died young but he fucking yeah you know he you know he made his career in

three years he made fame in three years yeah exactly he was undiscovered and in three years

He was internationally renowned and universally now.

Yeah, and then gone, just like that.

You know what I mean?

Mm-hmm.

Oof.

Bob Marley's another one.

Died too early.

Yep.

Stevie Ray Vaughan.

Yeah, exactly.

Janis Joplin.

Richie Valens.

Yeah, Keith Moon.

The Big Bopper is another one.

John Bonham.

How can we forget, more recently, you have from Nirvana, damn it, the hell is that guy's name?

Kurt Cobain.

Yeah.

Tupac and Biggie, you can say to an extent, I guess, if you want to go that way.

It's fucking...

And the guy from...

Oh, Jesus.

Alice in Chains.

The singer.

Oh, the singer.

It'll hit me in a minute.

Somebody send me his name.

Somebody send...

I'm sure someone in the chat knows it.

And we're reminiscing on fucking bullshit.

Here's a Tori Amos cover of Smells Like Teen Spirit, which is very sad.

You just think about...

It's very crappy, though.

That's the way she sings it

It's just so shitty though

I can just imagine

Kurt Cobain hearing this

And just

Loading up his chocolate

You know what I mean

It's so horrible

This is what did it

You probably heard this

Oh my god

Dude it even sounds depressing

I know

What she is

Oh god

I mean

She does some okay stuff

But that one there

Makes me want to fart

Yeah

Makes you want to fart

The fuck is that

I just want to fart

That's so disrespectful

You don't even want to like spit

It's like

I don't want to fart

I just need to fart

It makes me want to shit on

Somebody's chest

You know

It's like some nasty shit

Put a plastic plate

Over your face baby

Oh god damn it

God damn it

I'll shit on it

You know

Yeah

Isn't that a hot plate

I think you know a little bit

Too much about that man

That's kind of weird

Anyway

So in the chat room

There's a lot

Of the numbers have grown

I see our listening numbers

You know

You know, this show, people listen to my show, I think, start listening to it later.

Well, no, I think Zolar pays some numbers when I watch, like, around midnight.

He gets steamrolling around midnight.

I steamroll about 10.30.

I start peaking, yeah, and I hold my numbers until, like, 11.30, and then I usually quit.

Nowadays, I usually quit around 12, because I need to get sleep.

Yeah, well, you've got work scheduled and everything, so, you know, you're always going to work night.

Yeah, man.

Yeah.

Oh, what was I going to say?

Very important.

Just to let you know, I'm a college student.

I'm taking a semester off because I went to school from, like, man, I started in January of 2003

and went all the way straight without taking a semester off all the way until July.

And I'm talking about I took summer semesters, I took winter semesters every single day for all that time.

I went to school straight, and I got my degree, my associates, and I'm getting ready to go to – I'm going back to a four-year – look, I was going to a four-year university when I first got out of high school.

I was 18, just turned 18 like a month, and I was already – I had my first apartment with my friend Andy, who's on the show.

He was my roommate and another friend of ours, and I wasn't ready, and I really fucked up, and I ended up getting suspended from the university.

university so i had and then i took like three years off and i had you know just you know you

know just life mistakes i got involved with a girl who was a drug addict get your priorities in line

yeah then again i i you know i made some bad mistakes in my life i held a few crappy jobs and

but i turned myself around and i finally got to a point where i could afford to go to school again

i might have to pay i had a full ride to to a four-year university here in orlando oh man

university central florida and i lost it i was but you know i was young but you learn but now

I really appreciate it

But I'm going to go back

Triumphally going to go back to the same university

That I kicked out of

It's like something really big for me

But I decided to take a semester off

Because I didn't want to go burnt out

Don't get burnt out man

Just give you a chance to breathe

And relax and feel like you're alive again

And just disconnect from the strain

And then you'll come back full force

Exactly

I know a lot of younger people listen to this show

You know, don't be too quick after getting out of high school, bro, to jump into college.

Take a year off and travel or just even just fucking chill at home and smoke and drink with your friends who stay or whatever.

You know what I mean?

Just don't, you don't want to, you want to get that break.

You need a break after high school.

After you're fucking, after you, since you're five years old, all the way for 13 years, you're going to school.

I mean, yeah, you get summers off, but shit.

I mean, senior year you have all that pressure, prom and graduation and getting your grades in on time.

And you don't want to be jumping in.

SATs.

Yeah, SATs, fuck.

You know, yeah.

And then if on top of that you're having to deal with, oh, I've got to apply for the university and I've got to get accepted.

I'm going to accept it and forget.

You know, I wish I would have known.

I would have taken a year off and I would have traveled.

I had money.

I had a choice.

I had an allotment of money.

It was like I could get a car, get an apartment, get all this stuff for myself, and, you know, pay for some of my school, which I ended up having to.

I had a full ride.

But, you know, instead of taking that money, I was given an option.

I could go travel for a while, you know, just around the country, see New York, see California and shit.

Or I could have just moved out of my own.

And I decided to move out of my own.

Worst mistake I ever made.

Yeah, man, that's a tough blow, man, especially since, you know, you had the full ticket, you know, damn it, meal ticket.

Exactly.

But, you know, you learn from these kind of things, Carly.

You learn, you know.

So what I was trying to get to in all this is in January I will be going back to school.

So, knock on wood, I won't have to start the show at 10 o'clock anymore.

I want to keep starting at, in theory, 9.15, but in truth that's, you know, 9.30 with me.

Sometimes I start at, you know, well, last week I started almost at 10.

So I may have to change back the start time to 10 o'clock if I end up with a Thursday night class,

class which should probably be over around 9 30 i live right down the street so it wouldn't take

that long um to get home but um i'm just concerned that if i get a class that ends at 9 45 or

something like that i may have to start to show at 10 30 even or 10 15 i'll stay up at that point

i'll i'll i'll induce myself you know art of with caffeine or whatever to do a show i'll still be

here thursday nights but i may not be starting as early as i am now i may not be starting at

in the 9 o'clock hour, maybe starting at 10 or maybe even up to 10.30 a.m.

But that's way in the future.

We'll definitely be using all those Western numbers.

Yes, definitely.

We'll definitely be having to, yeah, because at that point it's too late to call West Coast.

But, you know, there's, you know, KDK starts at 10, you know what I mean?

So does Zola.

Yeah, but see, he's on a different day.

We're on Thursday, the day before the last day.

Yeah.

So it does kind of affect the dynamics where other people, you know,

have, you know, almost a weekend show that, you know, uses their number.

or so, so, you know, there's a lot better chance of, you know, getting some response

from the calls, you know.

Right, right.

Everybody's in bed on it, aren't you?

Yeah, exactly.

I know, right?

So they're really pissed, you know.

Hardly anybody's ever drunk.

Oh, what are you doing?

Yeah, exactly.

Well, it'll work out.

I mean, we'll call the West Coast.

It's still going to be seven something.

Come on, man.

Yeah, man.

Unless there's some old farts.

You can get some good numbers out of this shit.

Yeah, man.

Well, that's good.

You're going to take a break, man.

This will be a plus for all our listeners then, definitely.

Yeah, well, I'm halfway out of my break, so don't worry.

There will be a show.

Just I'll keep you updated as the months come by.

And I still have to go down to university to have a whole appeal process.

I have to go in front of the dean and all these people.

And, oh, it's going to be horrible.

And I've got to pay money up the ass to do it, too, apparently.

Because I owe the university, no joke, about $330 in fines.

Oh, damn.

And that's including, I had four library books that I kept out for seven years.

Um, so they, they said that they would, um, they would, like, they told me that they would not charge me the fines if I just turn in the books, apparently.

And, fucking, this is prank master just calling over and over again.

I can't put him on right now.

I, I, I'm talking philosophically.

Okay, I just fucked up the phone setup, so that's probably going to make a loud noise when I turn it on.

It wouldn't be loud.

No, no, no, when I turn on the phone, it probably won't be.

Um, yeah, they're, and the chairman is asking, why would I get a night class?

Uh, Jesus is asking me.

That would be because I work also

I work a normal

You have a daylight job

I wake up at 6am

Now because I'm actually not getting up

I used to get up at 5

I want to get back to that

I used to get up at 5, drink my coffee

Do my email, go out

Go down to the gym here at the apartment complex

Come home and get ready for work

Take a shower and everything

Smoke a bowl, take a shower

And that's another thing

I need to quit smoking weed

man i'm like it's getting insane with me smoking weed right now it's not you know man i'm talking

like i used to i used to partake quite a bit you know i mean thank lord man 10 years man not a puff

you know i need a new job i gotta quit and it's just like right now financially it's it's only

25 bucks a week but still that's 100 bucks a month i mean i i'm on a short budget myself i mean i

barely make it as it is but i had to work i'll work from 7 30 until 4 30 every day money through

I get weekends off at least

I'll do my show tonight

I'll probably get to sleep around 1

And I'll have 5 hours

Sometimes I don't fall asleep until like 3

If I had a good show I'll listen to it again

Tonight I'll probably listen to the first hour of the show again

That gangbang call is going to be hilarious

If there's enough requests for it I'll replay it

I'll replay it as I listen to it

I'll listen to it

I'm sure

I'm sure if you throw that out there on the table

In the chat room, if you're all listening, let me know

If you want that, I'll do that for you

We'll do a repeat of the first hour of the Madhouse

I'll probably end, in that case, I'll end at midnight

Because I'm actually really tired

To be honest with you

I've had a little

Not much sleep this week

And I'm, to be honest with you

I'm drinking, I'm on my fourth beer right now

And it's actually kind of dozing me

You know what I mean, like when you're tired

I should not have drunk

It hits you quick

So I'll be good for another hour

How's the weather been up here, anyway?

I haven't heard nothing since I've been off the air for so long.

Y'all getting a dose of the weather?

We've been having, like, rain like crap, dude.

Yeah, we had a lot of rain over the weekend, last weekend.

This week, it's just overcast, and it's down into the high 80s,

which for us is, oh, my God, it's going to be fall soon.

You know what I mean?

It's kind of like everybody feels, you know what I mean?

It's starting to cool down.

It's not, because we normally get 96 with, like, 100% humidity.

It's insanely hot and steamy outside, like a sauna.

The humidity is just about gone right now

Except it kind of rains and it's still around

But it's not horrible steamy outside

In about a month from now

Will be very comfortable weather

Comfortable weather to open up your windows every night

I love having my windows open in my car

It's going to be great because you know what

I held out my AC in my car

Cocked out in June

When the high

Was like 98

The heat in this with the humidity

It felt like 105

105, dude, 105 degrees, and I would literally, dude, I would wake up in the morning, take a shower.

This is at 7.30 a.m. that I would be in my car to go to work, and by the time I got to work, I was drenched.

My back was drenched, and I only live eight minutes away from work, okay?

It was that horrible, and I'm an AC addict.

My apartment is always around, it's like 70 degrees in here or lower usually, so it took me a lot of adjustment.

to get used to it, yeah.

Dead, if you want to find out what the temperature is,

the weather is, because I see he's got that script.

I'll do it, right? I can do it.

I am in Orlando, which is the 32817 area code.

3-2-8-0-1.

Yeah, I work at Florida Power, dude.

And I was working boilers and the fans,

and I'd get inside them son of a bitches.

And they would do this thing called squeezing,

where they'd pump hot water up through the boiler tubes

and cause all the ash and stuff to fall off.

you get inside that freaking boiler man it would be 90 some degrees outside it'd be 106 when you

walked in right in full denim coveralls you had to have a positive air breathing mask on

hard hat gloves you know boots i mean jesus i mean you would sweat off literally eight pounds

man in the shift yeah wow really damn it it was crazy dude i got i got a friend in um at work who

wars with the marines he said the hottest place that he went to was japan he said he was stationed

in japan and he said that place was so insanely uncomfortable in the summer he said because it

was just so humid like in the desert in iraq it's hot but there's no humidity it's a dry heat it's

not the same um in japan it's it's about that hot just under it but it is insanely humid because

Because they're like little strips of islands in the middle of, like, the warm waters of the Pacific.

It is insanely hot in the summer there.

He told me that they dress head to toe in white.

Everything is covered.

Everything except for the face in white.

And that's what is comfortable to them.

Whatever.

That's what the Japanese do.

He's got some crazy stories about Japan.

Where was he at?

Was he at Yokosuka or where?

He was Marines.

I forget.

I don't know.

I don't know what base it is.

Hatsugi?

I'm not sure.

There's two, right?

Well, it's probably the Naval base, I assume.

I can't remember the name off the top of my head.

Yeah.

A Tugi, probably.

Yeah.

So, chat room, they're all playing with the dead weather thing.

I think he turned it off, though.

I don't like it when he does that.

He's been having that.

It's kind of fun to play with.

Remember the other day, I was in there.

I think you were gone.

He's got the script.

Yeah, I had something there.

Well, if you want to do it right now in the chat room, I think he turned it off, but

You hit an exclamation point, weather, space, and then a zip code or a city and state.

It'll give you the weather there.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, I guess he's got a script that does that.

And the coolest thing, I was doing it, and I was getting, what was I getting?

Damn it.

I got, like, Afghanistan, Iraq, Beirut, stuff like that.

It was kind of cool.

Oh, cool.

It's actually getting kind of cool.

Watch, I'll show you.

I'm going to do Afghanistan.

It works by area codes or by longitude and latitude?

Area codes.

Zip codes was working.

And then.

I'm sorry.

The zip code's in a state, like city slash state, or I'm doing city slash state.

Oh, city, town, country.

Yeah, so I can do, some of them didn't work.

Like, I think I got Iraq to work.

Let me see.

I'm doing Kabul, Afghanistan.

Watch.

Yeah, it's 48 degrees Fahrenheit right now in Kabul.

That's nice, man.

That's like, you would think it'd be hot in Afghanistan, right?

No, man, Afghanistan's got a lot of mountains and shit, dude.

I guess that one Kabul.

They got that one valley that runs right up the middle, dude, where all of them rushes

and everybody got wiped out.

And there's, like, no white men being ever seen hardly up in there, ever.

It's just so far remote and surrounded by mountains where all that good kush is growing at, baby.

Oh, yeah, kush, man.

I've had kush once.

All I've got to say is wow.

Oh, my God, dude.

Right?

That's the shit.

Yeah, that is the shit, man.

Purple hair.

Yeah, so my dealer, my weed dealer got, get this,

My weed dealer starts hooking up with his stepmother, who's like five years older than him, but about 20 years younger than...

You mean like hooking up with her?

Hooking up, yeah.

Oh, man.

Oh, my God.

And his dad finds out, and they're getting divorced, so he brings up in court, yeah, he's a dealer, so he's got to stop selling.

Oh, God.

And he's in financial shit right now, too, so he can't even buy product, apparently, because his dad skipped out.

They own a house together.

The dad just left the house, and he was like, fuck it, you take it.

You know what I mean?

He just moved out on his own.

So they were both on the deed.

They owned the house.

They bought it together, like, recently to sell it again in a few years, which is a stupid idea because the real estate market is about to crash.

I am predicting by this time next year the real estate market will have crashed.

Especially here in Orlando, houses are so fucking overpriced.

It's insane.

Because Athena and I are actually trying to get a house together to move out in February.

And it's insane what they're asking for houses up here for what they are.

And you know they're going to fall.

Athena and Orlando is nuts anyway.

Yeah, exactly.

And if you just moved a little bit out of town and could stand and drive, you'd get phenomenally low prices.

Right, exactly.

I lived on the lake for $150 a month, all utilities paid, AC day and night.

I had a boat.

Everything was supplied, cleaning supplies, dishwasher, you name it, man, a washing machine, everything, $150 a month.

Real quick, Lonesome is sending me numbers to places in Puerto Rico.

That's just reminiscing.

I haven't been to Puerto Rico since like three Christmases ago, man.

And I used to go every year.

The day after school got out, I would be on a plane to my family in Puerto Rico,

and I would come back maybe a day or two before school started again.

So a third of the year of my life when I grew up was in Puerto Rico.

So I consider myself that I was raised there, I guess.

I say, you know, I was mostly raised here in Orlando, but that for me, that was, I mean, I was there in the best time.

Yeah, I was there in the best time, in the summer, man.

We could go to the beach, and I have tons, I'm an only child, but I have tons and tons of cousins.

and it used to be a rhyme.

Oh, yeah, man.

Yeah.

So, yes, if anybody was wondering, I am, despite what my bio says,

and I'm a Cuban son of what, I don't know what the hell it is.

I don't know, it was funny as shit, I read it.

Yeah, I'm Puerto Rican and Italian, actually, mostly Puerto Rican.

I have some Italian in me.

I was born in Orlando, Florida, but I was partly raised in Puerto Rico, like I said,

three months out of the 12, every year, up until I was 18, I was in Puerto Rico with my family.

So I consider myself raised in both places.

I am American, as all Puerto Ricans are, of course.

Milkman, you can attest to that.

You're the Virgin Islands.

You're in the territory.

Oh, yeah, man.

That's what I'm here for.

I love it, dude.

I love my expatriation status, dude.

Yeah, exactly.

I could never be a Yankee again if I ever had a choice.

You know, you should move to Key West, man.

Key West is a lot like the Caribbean.

It's more...

But it's Hurricane City, man.

That's the reason why.

I was going to retire and get a house there in Central Florida, man.

I could get some hellish deals outside of Ocala, man, like great, wild deals.

Ocala is a little remote, but it's nice.

A lot of horse racing.

Yeah, man, but anywhere in through there, you wouldn't believe what you can get land and houses for.

A lot of old people pass away, and you can just get some knock-down debt deals.

Man, the city I grew up in, the old people passed away, and then the properties, the houses went up for rent,

and people from New York came down and ruined it.

I don't want to disrespect New York, but they went up to New York, the city.

The city sent some company up to New York and offered $300,000 for you to buy a house in the city I grew up in, in Florida, and to get you moved down and everything.

I think it's like $250,000, so it's like enough to buy the house and get yourself set up and everything.

So who lives in the ghetto in New York or wherever, like Brooklyn or Queens or whatever?

I don't know.

I'm not educated in New York.

Who's going to live up there

Get an offer to come down to Florida

You don't have to shovel snow anymore

Get yourself out of the hood

And they're going to give you $250,000 to do it

What the fuck are you going to do

You're going to get up and move

Now it's like new New York

It's where the fuck it is now

It's bullshit

You need to check Zolar's IM

He sent me a file

And I have it

There's some kind of song

That somebody asked me to play

And I don't have it

I got it.

No, I got it.

I got it.

I was going to play, but then I started talking about bullshit.

I didn't know if that's something we wanted to mess with or we wanted to start doing a few more calls or exactly what you wanted to do with that.

Let's play it real quick.

I was kind of sitting back on it.

Hang on.

I'm playing it right now, actually.

I forgot to.

I just checked.

I think you've got it right.

It's named Lane Staley.

All right.

That was the guy from Alice in Chains.

You're my cuppy, cake, gum, truck, fatty, little ass boy, you eat your eye, you're my cuppy, cake, gum, truck, fatty, fatty, fat boy, you're a stupid guy, you're a chubby, wubby, wuffy, big, holy, pokey, apple of your mother's eye,

Bam, modulation

That is insane, man

Yeah, that was funny

So, I guess Frank was in the background

How did that happen?

Is that off his show or something?

I have no idea where it came from

He just said

Play a song

I wrote the music and edited it for him

Zolar sent it to me

Sidekick Chuck

He wrote the music

And edited the audio clips

That was really cool

You need to check his IM

He's sending me an IM

I got so many windows open now

I know you do

Starting from the live

Zolar

It's short

Play it if I want

The guy did the guitar himself

That'll be Sidekick Chuck

Yeah, yeah

So definitely Zolar gives props to

Sidekick Chuck for his help on that

You're my

Coffee cake on

Sugar

Is that Zolar singing?

That's Zolar singing though, right?

That's not Zolar singing

Who's that singing though?

I don't know

Probably that dude, Sidekick I guess

That's not Zolar's voice

No, I think that's Zolar's voice singing man

Are you sure?

I haven't heard it

really good so send it to me later it sounds like it is i don't know maybe it's pretty it's pretty

twisted man whatever man this thing here is going crazy with the weather shit man oh yeah i can't

believe it is still having a button punch i'll figure it out later somebody's gonna start

raising some hell yeah uh yeah well he he turns page after page no he turned off he turned it off

off last night. Last night, I was having fun with it. Everybody was in there just throwing

cities up and shit. Oh, cool. Cairo, it's 70 degrees Fahrenheit. Columbus, Ohio, where

Reclude is, is 61 degrees. Bald Knob, Arkansas, 61 degrees Fahrenheit. See, that's what I

wanted to be here right now, man. I can't wait. I can't get over that, man. It's only

48 degrees in Afghanistan. That's insane. I wonder how hot it is in Baghdad. Someone

I'm going to do Baghdad, Iraq in there, please.

Just one person.

Not everybody do Baghdad.

I'm not here, man.

Yeah.

The first person who does Baghdad, Iraq in the chat room gets a prize.

You're going to love the prize, I assure you. There's no

prize. But seriously, I'll give you a shout out in the air. I'll do that for you and you'll

to earn my respect

and I'll send you

one Carlito dollar

which would be good

for the soon to come

Carlito store.

Yeah.

No,

I'm just kidding.

Wouldn't that be awesome

if I had the Carlito store?

That would be so cool.

Yeah.

Well,

KDK has shirts

but I think that's a company

where you can actually,

you just send them a logo

and they'll make a shirt

for you for like,

you know.

They've got places here

that'll do that.

Like,

you can get this little

can holders,

you know,

huggies and hats,

all kinds of stuff.

Right,

right.

Well,

hey,

We need to stop bullshitting

Because I said I was going to end the show

In about 37 minutes from now

And I call it

The show probably

Beep, beep, beep

Yeah

That was funny it rang

Yeah

You turned it off, didn't you?

No, no, I didn't

Well, the toll-free line for everybody is

I got to tell

Tell Prankmaster

He keeps sending me these messages

And I'm going to have to break it to him

That you ended up going back on the air

Okay

Okay, well, he's what?

Now, he

He stopped trying to call in, though

I was afraid to talk to him

He's probably

Well

What the hell, dude?

You know what?

And actually Psycho Chuck is confirming

That was Zolar singing on his show last night

While talking to Prankmaster

That's funny

So he was actually trying to send to Prankmaster

Zolar must come on late

Because I stayed up for a while waiting for Zolar

Well shit I ripped a good part of the night

I'll have to just look back and see

Yeah I don't know

I think I heard part of it

I was kind of messed up last night too

I was and I was so pissed off

I was fighting with the computer

Well actually I talked to you remember

I'm sorry yes you did

Yeah, you were having computer trouble.

Amazingly enough, XP Restore worked.

I told you it does, man.

The only time in my whole damn life that I ever needed it to work and I never thought it would,

and I pushed a button and it worked.

I about fell over, dude.

Oh, shit, dude.

It's craziness.

That's wild.

That has been the most worthless piece of shit for me ever, man.

Really?

I don't know.

I've tried so many times to do a restore when I've had a problem.

Nothing.

So I use Norton Go-Back normally.

I hadn't installed Go-Back yet.

And like I said, everything just went crazy.

You know what I figured out part of the problem was?

It wasn't just the Microsoft updates.

I got a different keyboard, and it has drivers for it, right?

And when I put them drivers in, it just made the system go whacked.

Wow.

And I even downloaded them from the site.

Hey, it's 69 degrees in Baghdad, Iraq.

You've got to love that, huh?

That goes out to all our boys and girls, our men and women in Iraq fighting there.

I may not agree with the war.

Um, that's where it just causes what I, I, I support the truth.

Milkman, you support the truth, don't you?

You were in the Army yourself.

You're an Army Ranger, right?

Yeah.

I, I was, man.

That's where I first got into, um, cow milking.

Yeah.

And by the way, people were asking about what happened to my hand, okay?

Well, last week during this park computer outage, um, I was trying to get the, uh,

milking machine adjusted, and the thing went haywire, man, and, and, and got stuck on

my fingers.

So the milking machine tore hell out of my fingers.

I see.

You got your hands.

You did not lose fingers, but you did have extensive trauma through your fingers.

Well, there was a lot of trauma.

But, see, my fingers, you know, will automatically regenerate, you know,

vegetatively regenerate.

So anything that was, you know, snipped off will grow back like a tail on a

chameleon, you know, or like that thing.

You know, same thing.

Oh, that's crazy.

Well, glad to know you're okay.

Thank you very much for that news update

I appreciate everybody

You should have heard everybody

God damn that was loud

All I had was just the stuff I ripped

Oh nasty

Alright look we gotta do a call

That's enough

Enough talking for now

Baghdad chants of mushroom cloud

Very good

I like that one

That was kind of funny

Let's be nice to our Muslim friends

friends in the chat room dtt and i don't know who else definitely man there's a big bullshit

cloud over that in washington right about now yeah oh man isn't bush a dumbass you know he

blinked 24 times after a question i saw the interview man with matt law they asked him about

they asked bush he was bushes out there in in louisiana at 6 45 a.m and i'm i'm up doing my

things here i've got i've got the uh the my hd tv on and i got you know the today show on hd is

That's what I usually do, and drinking coffee, looking at using the laptop.

And I'm watching Bush get interviewed, and Matt Lauer asks him,

do you think it's fair that the American people have to pay for the war in Iraq

and the Iraqi people aren't sharing any financial burden for it

while the victims of Hurricane Katrina are being offered loans

that they're going to have to pay back within 10 years?

And they can't also file bankruptcy anymore.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, and Bush had, like, he started to talk, had a three-second pause, like, blank stare,

blanked his eyes, like, 24 times, I think, in a scope of three minutes total.

And he just said, I'd rather not talk about that right now.

He came off as such a mess.

I have it on my DVR.

It's recorded.

Oh, God.

Save that clip, man.

I'd love to have that one.

I'm going to keep it on there.

I have stuff on there since January, man, like episodes of shows.

Hell yeah, burn it off into an MPEG or something.

I'm going to have to buy a TV capture card sometime soon.

Okay, yeah.

If you've got a way to get it in your PC, you can just convert to an MP4.

Well, I've already learned how.

I found a website that talks about this specific box.

It actually records stuff in HD, dude.

I can record TV shows in high def.

I can, yeah, 22 hours worth of high def I can record or 80 hours of regular TV.

Wow.

Yeah.

I have a half peg TV card.

I just plug it in my USB port and it's got a tuner built into it.

And, you know, it just automatically starts playing whatever I'm watching on TV.

Plus it's got an S-video input.

So whatever I put on my S-video, you know, my camera or whatever.

Right.

You know, I have a camera I keep out in the, actually in the stables there to watch the cows

to make sure that, you know, nobody's going in there and bothering them at night.

Let me ask you real quick.

I plug it in there sometimes.

All right, we're going to do a prank call, but before I do that, Mark, this is Mark Guitar.

That's Joop, isn't it?

I think, I believe that's Joop.

He sent me a file of him playing.

Let me play that real quick for him because he's still in the chat room.

I believe this is, he said this is him.

That's pretty Cassio, dude.

Yeah, that was kind of funny, but that's a long file.

I can't figure out who is this.

That would be definitely a prank master.

He'd love that one.

Yeah, well, that was from Mark Guitar in the chat room.

Thank you.

I'll give you a little surprise for that.

He asked me to play that for him, and I am pleased.

I definitely am.

You do a good job, too.

Okay, who are we going to call?

Athena is the one that told me that.

Oh, yeah?

She told you about that?

Yeah, she knows.

She knows what's up

Let's see

Yeah, let me call the real Bruno Vega

I'm going to call the real Bruno Vega

And Winchester

This one goes out to a reclute

Who is the purveyor of the

World famous Bruno Vega call

Bruno Vega, well the Bruno Vega voice

I love it

Yeah

I know man

You're a prick

Alright everybody

We'll be right back with the real Bruno Vega in just one moment.

Speak to Bruno, please.

This is him.

Look, I want to talk to you about something.

Who do you think you're going around?

You called my cousin in Puerto Rico, and you said that you're going to kick his ass, man.

Hey, you got the wrong one.

No, man, this is Bruno Vega in Winchester.

Yeah?

Yeah, you've had the house from my sister-in-law for a long time,

and he said you're calling him in Puerto Rico.

Hey, you got the wrong one.

Talking that shit, man.

You got the wrong one.

Look, man, I'm up here.

I'm in Richmond, man.

I'm not too far from you, you know?

Hey, you got the wrong one.

You're going to have a problem.

You're going to find yourself with a problem with me.

Hey, you got the wrong one.

What, you afraid of me, man?

What's up, Bruno?

Hey, you got the wrong one.

You a pussy, man?

You got the wrong one.

That's all you can say.

You got the wrong one.

I know what you done, you son of a bitch.

You Vegas or a bunch of dirty people.

Well, he didn't stay on for long.

Jeez.

That was a nice try, though.

Milkman, where the hell are you?

I lost Milkman.

I'm not off the air, am I?

No.

There you are.

Sir.

I forgot.

I brought the wave.

Wave.

So, that was okay.

That was a good call.

I was laughing my ass off.

That's why you was missing.

Yeah.

My bad.

Yeah, that's unfortunate that he couldn't get into it with me.

I was trying to push.

I was trying to prod.

I was like, yeah, I can get him to.

Yeah, exactly.

I can get him to crack.

He wouldn't bite.

He was close.

He was getting agitated, you know.

Yeah, he almost broke over.

Well, let's call him as crap.

I have a neck of Taylor Gallagher.

You got it, you got it.

Crap.

I don't know what the hell that first name is, but I'm going to make fun of her.

It was a black woman who answered at 9.33 p.m. just two hours ago, but she lives in Georgia.

Maybe she's up still.

Hang on, everybody.

We'll try her now.

Georgia.

Hello.

Yes, hello.

Is this Matahakalejikala?

No, you got the wrong number.

Is this Ms. Crap?

No.

Who is this?

Who you want?

I'm looking for Ms. Crap.

Look, I lost her.

something I lost my cell phone and I'm trying to see I gotta call my son hello

well you got the wrong number this is not miss crap no he's not I'm looking

for Mac to have the courage you got you got around no mega who can enter your

destiny you know oh you know I want to call again I wanted to call her every

week we need to do Monica again was that her the the lady that talked to me about

turkey oh you talking okay no no no i got those numbers you still got the number right um no do

you have that number still i lost it okay yeah i usually save all my numbers but i'm behind on

that too because if you save that list if if you don't send me numbers in aol if you're sending me

in google like you do i i don't i don't archive them yeah there's no way to archive unless you

cut and paste yeah exactly and i forget i keep forgetting to do that and i i kicked myself

myself, because those are great numbers.

You still have them?

Yeah.

That's awesome.

You're going to get that.

You know you can put Google Talk in Trillion?

No.

Yeah.

I didn't see the plug-in.

They got a plug-in for it now?

You have to use Trillion Pro, though.

Why don't you bust out a serial number for me, man?

I can't find one, man.

I can't find it yet.

I've been looking for one, too.

I know.

You've got a virus trying to find one, and I actually went online on several peer-to-peer

Peer Network's trying to find a copy of it, and every one had a virus.

Every single one had a virus on it that I found.

I was like, fuck it.

Yeah.

They're a bunch of shit, man.

That's why I don't use that peer-to-peer, because all the NMVirus is on there.

So if anybody has, knows of a working serial or a crack that's legit for Trillium,

to upgrade it to Trillium Pro, by all means, please let me and Lokman know,

because we could use that.

Because we depend on Google Talk a lot.

That's our alternate

It's kind of cool to have something independent

In case trailing goes down

We can still communicate in Google

It'd be nice

I'd just like to see it out there

Have it out there also

Hey man

If they get us a cereal

We'll give them a ticket

Into the Carlitos store

Do a special request call

That's definitely enough

For a free Carlitos Madhouse shirt

Which will become available

As soon as I get it set up

Which is probably going to be

Like a year from now

Let's try to get some more listeners

And shit before we start doing that

Yeah, so anyway

Alright, shall we continue?

Yeah

Let's continue

I just found it now, let's see

Alright, okay, that's right

You're finding that

So send that to me

Send that to me in AOL if you don't mind

Alright

Alright, so I can keep that that way

Even if I don't save it

I'm just trying to remember her name

If I say it

Is she Dracolin?

You know what?

I have it here.

I think I asked for her.

It wasn't the Pasha on Booty Stink, because that was the husband.

No, that was the husband and wife.

Oh, it was.

Okay.

I remember.

I can find it in a second.

Let's see here.

I just got a big text.

I got to look through it here.

Yeah, I actually had to play an episode here that I just edited today, which is available

as well as all the-

It was Menzies.

Menzies.

I don't know.

All the good shows are at madhouselive.com.

Again, that's madhouselive.com.

Past episodes are up there, and prank calls from the show, edited out, are in there.

And the archive shows are edited.

You don't have to sit there and listen to the music if you don't want to.

You don't have to listen to the breaks.

You don't have to listen to the dialing.

You don't have to listen to the wrong numbers or the unfunny parts, because it's all edited out.

All I put in there is what was an actual good show.

So it's much shorter than listening, yeah, and you can hear it straight through.

It's like the straight meat.

Yeah, exactly, the straight meat.

I need to get an iPod, too.

I have so much shit that I want to buy.

I want to get an iPod Nano.

I want to get the black one.

The black one looks hot, man.

The iPod Nano looks fucking sexy.

Not worth the extra money for the black, though.

No.

Is it extra money for the black?

I don't know.

Hell, yeah.

I have to buy it.

If I was going to do that, I would just go ahead and get the 60.

I have to buy the Sirius X-Act jockey Sirius handheld Walkman tuner.

I've got to buy that, too, before Howard goes on.

Because, look, I need to hear that shit, man.

Especially if Zola's going to be on there.

I'm going to hear that shit.

I had XM for a while.

I canceled XM recently in order to get serious.

But I haven't bought the...

I wonder when that's supposed to start with Howard Stern.

Is he supposed to start on that?

January 1st.

If you go to HowardStern.com, you'll see a countdown clock, actually, my friend.

Okay.

And that's the latest.

He might go earlier.

I don't think he's going to go earlier anymore.

But, consequently enough, he's named his two channels.

Channels, what is it, Douche 100 and Bag 101, I think it is.

So I'm going to play right now.

These are, no lie, these are the first sounds, the very first sounds from that station.

So this is history in the making right here.

This is the first sounds that came through on Sirius Channel 100,

which is Howard Stern's primary network.

This is Douche Bag.

This is Douche, actually, Douche 100.

Here's a listen to the very first of

What I think is going to be history in radio

Which is Stern going to satellite radio

And the eventual death of

Crappy terrestrial commercial FCC radio

Take a listen

This is John the Farter

They had this guy farting

This is the guy that farts on Howard all the time

He can fart like marathons

Like an hour straight

On command

I think they had him farting for like a super long time

That was the very first thing they ever did

This is them setting up right now

So, I so wish I was serious right now, though, because it's so, you know what I mean?

Like, no commercials and shit, and the music is so much better quality.

I'm an internet radio freak.

Yeah, me too.

I'm getting into it.

Oh, God, you think so, right?

If I'm doing an internet radio show.

I've got so many dozens of streams I rip.

This takes too fucking long.

That's what I like about this, you know, the streamer for me,

because if the ID3 tags and stuff are all set up right, you know,

it already names the songs for you and everything.

Right, yeah, exactly.

If they're set up right.

So this is what they played for like two straight days, I think.

I love farts. Farts are great.

Anyway, that was a waste of time.

He must have been listening to Tori Amos' song, too.

Yeah, exactly.

Instead of shooting his own, he just tried to fart himself off.

I'm going to fart off.

All right.

Well, let's continue with the prime calls before people get restless here.

Let's pump up some calls, man.

Yeah, exactly.

Wake some people up.

Sideshook is telling me, did I see the new iPod?

Very literally, it's called Circuit and Plays Videos.

You know, I saw that today.

Didn't Steve Jobs announce that today, I think, or yesterday?

The new iPod video, iPod, iPod video?

Oh, yeah, the colors.

All the color ones now have the photo and the option to put composite video in it.

Well, this one here is going to have video support,

and it's going to be supported with downloadable TV shows.

Supposedly, the day after a TV show comes on, you can download it through, I guess, iTunes.

Probably iTunes.

And iTunes, and you can watch the whole TV episode on your iPod.

And in theory, you can also do the same with movies and shit.

So can you imagine if Netflix was doing that,

where they would send you a copy of the movie to your iPod for like $1.49,

and you could watch it on, it's like a two-inch screen, but still.

Well, you know, if they actually get that kind of service running,

somebody like the PSP or somebody would probably pick that up too.

Oh, yeah.

You ever seen video on the PSPs?

Yeah, oh, yeah, it looks, yeah, yeah, a friend of mine.

Oh, it's great.

A friend of mine bought a stolen one at work.

Not at work, but he's got a guy.

He goes to the barbershop, you know.

So he's got the bootleg DVDs, and he had the stolen PSP he bought for $100.

That thing was awesome.

It looked so cool.

I played it for a whole day.

Dude, it is, man.

I've been getting all kinds of good movies.

Yeah, and you can surf the Internet on it now.

Supposedly, it gets on wireless networks, and they have a web browser for it.

Yeah, you can.

You can do it through 802.1 network.

Yeah, I haven't bought anything yet.

that I've eliminated the Nintendo one, the new Nintendo, the Duo, whatever.

I'm not going to get that for sure.

The DS?

The DS.

Fuck that.

I got it.

It sucks.

Oh, you do?

Yeah.

See, I'm not going to get that.

Then my next option is either the PSP or an iPod.

I want one application.

I got both of them now.

I got me a 20-gig iPod.

Finally, I broke down.

Okay.

Click-wheel type.

Okay, yeah, exactly.

Exactly.

I'm thinking about one of the two.

So, yeah, and Jim was telling me that iPod Nanos are as thin as number two pencils.

Yeah, I saw that today.

I saw pictures of them, like, next to a number two pencil.

I think Nanos are the ones that still have the drives, and the Shuffle, I think, is the one that has a flash memory.

Shuffle is no screen, so you can't tell what song.

Yeah, you have to.

Yeah, it's flash memory.

Yeah, exactly.

So I don't want that shit.

That's, like, only 99 bucks, right?

But it's really cheap.

Yeah, right, 99, 150 bucks.

Man, when I was in Manhattan, when I went to New York, I swear to God, so many people had iPods.

iPods were everywhere.

Everybody.

People from just normal people, like executives had them on.

People who looked like they were working in waitstaff had them on.

People just walking, shopping.

People working out.

Rich people, poor people all had iPods on the train.

I swear to God, there was a majority of people with iPods and without iPods on the train that I was riding.

Man, it was crazy.

It's like cell phones here, man.

It's like a status thing, you know.

Oh, hell yeah, man.

When I went to the Virgin Islands, yeah, cell phones, everybody's cell phones up and down.

Cell phones, cell phones.

Oh, my cell phone's like, fuck that.

Over there, it's the Bluetooth headsets, too.

I got one for Athena.

Athena, I got her one.

They walk around like 75 cents, you know, with the freaking Star Trek headset on.

Exactly.

And they fucking flash when you talk.

It's so god ugly.

Hey, I got Mary Manzi, so we're all for milk, and I'll send them both to you.

Okay, good.

Good deal.

Hey, you know what I've noticed?

Hey, you've got Joe Meatless, too.

Meatless?

Okay, good, good.

Did you send him in AOL?

I'm just sending him around.

Oh, you're sending him around.

I'll give you back Dick Peterson, too, if you need him.

I'm going to send him to you in AIM.

Okay.

Randy's saying that the Cardinals lost.

Well, that's unfortunate.

I'm sorry about that.

Okay, there they go.

Yeah, and, yeah, you know, Randy Dandy's talking to me now.

He's telling me that he's not buying an iPod until he can get a camera on it.

You know what?

Very smart.

They already got a camera for it.

They do, really?

Oh, they have an attachable one, I'm assuming.

Yeah, it's a plug-in.

Okay.

Oh, well, there it is.

Everything plugs in.

I got the one with the remote.

I want to get, you know...

That little FM transmitter.

That's the FM modulator.

You see, when I'm...

Man, my trip.

Yeah, I'm trying to get one.

Right now, as it stands, I'm going to be walking around with, in theory, a serious

handheld thing with an FM modulator, and then I guess I'll be walking around with an

iPod with an FM modulator, I guess.

I don't know.

You know what I mean?

Like, I want to...

Athena, that's the thing, man.

You may be able to rip straight from the Sirius into your iPod.

Man, I got a co-worker who wants to sell me his laptop for $300.

I'm like, oh, Jesus, I want it so bad.

I just want it for school, man.

It's just cool.

Like, Athena has hers here right now.

How old is it?

I just love using it.

I sit on the couch and use it while I watch TV.

Oh, so why has it got Centrina?

I think it's, I don't know what it is.

Athena Centrino

or has it built in

801

no it is

it's a 1.4 gigahertz

processor I think

it's nothing too

fancy

but for me

I mean

I have a nice computer

here at home

my computer is decent

I'm about to upgrade

as soon as I move out

when we get this house

together

my expenses are going

to go down

when I move out

to the house

because I pay

rent on an apartment

I'll be paying

on my own

have a one bedroom

all by myself

and then I'll be

splitting a mortgage

with Athena

so that's probably

going to be a lot

cheaper

I'm probably going

to save at least

300 bucks a month

I'll have money to buy lots of gadgets

It's going to be great

The first thing I'm going to do

Is upgrade the studio here for the show

It's going to sound a lot better

Better mics, better computer

Get a sound, get a foam patch

Get a mixer

He's got one of these Shure SM58's

These mics are rock

I've got fans blowing straight at it

You can't hear shit

I'm getting one room for myself

Apparently in his house

It's going to be for my computer

Isolated and acoustically

Yeah it's going to be

Isolated acoustically

It's going to be

In a nice quiet part of the house

And everything

It's going to work out perfectly

So

I think it's Mary Menzies

You were supposed to call her

Or you

You ended up down

Or all the milking

Or one or the other

You know what

I was trying to get to

The episode here

Let me go here

You're the last one

That just sent on

Archive show

Send me

I was in charge

You shouldn't be able

To vote either you bitch

Awesome. That's great. How old are you, ma'am?

Huh?

How old are you?

I'm 50 years old.

You're 50? Wow.

Yeah.

And you fried the okra?

You have to come down and shoot it yourself.

We'll try to get to it.

Who?

Milka. Yeah.

Is that Milka?

Yeah.

You dialed either one or Menzies. I can't remember. I know you dialed the wrong number.

Okay, anyway.

I'm going to do the first call.

Let me call that lady.

What's her name?

Rolada?

What's her last name?

Rolada Milken.

Oh, it is?

That's it.

Rolada Milken.

Man, but if it was the wrong number, I'm not going to be calling the right person.

Shit.

Well, either one of those two.

It's one or the other.

Okay.

All right, well, we're just sending it.

I've got to find it.

She's probably up watching.

Prankmas is calling.

Should I put Prankmaster on finally?

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Tell him that you finally went.

You decided to get right back on the air.

You've been messaging the hell out of me.

it's here we're gonna do with you sir all right nothing i thought uh zola was on because somebody

told me zola was on no he might be going on after i think he went to he went out i think he's gone

i don't see him on uh no no zolar why you're gonna call zolar or something you don't think

it's going on i don't know because uh randy dandy told me that uh i have my own soundboard now okay

like he said like randy dandy told me i have my own soundboard now yeah i just heard that yeah i

I heard of it.

I haven't seen it or tested it out yet, but I heard that it's up there and that it's funny.

You should check it out.

Well, I want it down.

Well, who's hosting it?

KDK?

If he's hosting it, ask him, I suppose.

No, because I don't want that shit up there because it's not funny anymore.

All right, man.

Well, I'm going to have to call it a night here, but thank you.

And as I said, be strong.

Just keep doing what you're doing.

Is Milkman still on with you?

His milk, yeah, you can't hear him, but he can hear you.

Yes, sir, he's here.

All right, uh, tell the milkman, call me back when, give me a call when you're done, all right?

You got that, milkman?

Yep.

He says yep.

All right, thank you.

All right, let's roll.

He'll probably call you after the show.

All right.

My poor guy.

And another call.

Hey, I got good news, man.

Boonie the man.

Got her numbers.

Serious.

No kidding.

Yeah, man.

I'll send them to you, and he said he ain't confirmed them,

but he says they're probably pretty reliable.

Nice.

You know, just for that, we'll call Booney's number.

Hang on, let me take this call.

One of Booney's, I mean, one of Booney's numbers we'll have to call.

All right, dedicated.

I will be definitely confirming when it works.

Hey, what's going on here?

I'm the black cook.

I work with Adam.

Black cook.

How you doing, black cook?

I'm all right, man.

I can't wait to give that big, fat, pudgy fuck a big anal.

Dry?

Is that how you do it?

Yeah, man.

man. We just use the Crisco from the kitchen. Yeah. I would love to. You make him your cell

mate? Yeah, man. When we be back in Chile, man, we'll be making that shit, man. And then

he just spins over. I see his big ass. He look like a white bitch. Yeah, I just thought

of him. Yeah, we good friends. We go back in the cooler, man. After I get my anal, I

just put it right in his mouth. He cleans it all off. And then it's real good, man.

I'll tell you, that's the best sex I've ever had with that little, well, not little, that fat-ass white cracker.

That's gross, Black Man, I'm saying.

Well, you know what I'm saying, it's pretty good, though.

It's pretty good age, I'll tell you what.

I got some, I got this weird thing, though.

I got, and the last time I did that, my dick pulled out.

I got, I got these herpes.

Well, you know, there's, there's, my God.

You know, there's a real...

Hey, what's going on, baby?

I'm sorry, it's not a, we're not tracking the call.

Okay, it's not the po-po.

Who, who is that?

No, that, that was just a mistake.

I made a mistake. I dropped the phone, and it made noise. That's all it is.

Oh, okay, okay.

I'm not, we're not, yeah, the line isn't being traced. It's okay.

Yeah, he ain't underage, is he?

now tell me sir

Black Chef

What's Pregnancy's

Hygiene like?

Well

What do you mean?

After the anal sex?

Well just in general

I mean

Does he go around

Doing nasty shit

While he's cooking?

Yeah well he be

He be eating all the time

You know I'd say

Hey baby

You gotta stop eating

You know what I'm saying?

Cause my dick ain't that long

Your ass gonna get too big

We can't even have anal sex

Yeah exactly

After a point

It's a little too much

I understand

Yeah

You know what I'm saying?

I mean them bitches get too fat

You know what I'm saying?

He can't have a good anal anymore.

He'd be fucking his rolls, you know.

Pretty soon, man, he'd be fucking his rolls.

All right, well, as our one and only black listener,

is there anything you'd like to say on the air right now?

I'd like to say, motherfucking, y'all a bunch of haters.

That's right.

Y'all motherfuckers at work, man, they treat him bad, you know what I'm saying?

They don't treat me bad.

I whoop their ass.

All that shit behind his back.

But I'd like to say, stole somebody's bike on the way home.

I was stealing some guy's bike, man.

Man, some dude is chasing me, man.

Yeah, good.

But because I was looting, man.

I went down to New Orleans.

I was looting.

I went and got me a Snickers bar and shit, man.

Went into Walgreens.

Got me some jewelry, some watches.

That shit was badass.

I went into Walmart, got me a bike, man.

Nigga stole a bike.

That's it.

That's it, man.

All right, well, you tell that big fat cracker.

Tell him you're looking for him.

Tell him to stop beating them pop-tarts, motherfucker.

You know, I went on.

Shit, shit, man.

Man, he be eatin' all that shit, man, desserts and shit, man, the manager always talk to him.

Yeah, man, that Crisco's pretty badass, man, he don't need no AY, man, that Crisco is where it's at.

That Crisco is where it's at.

That shit start, we start gettin' good anal, man, we start gettin' the rowing, you know what I'm sayin'?

That shit get hot, it just get slippery, man, this is the best, best white cracker anal I've ever had.

Oh, it's, he comes from a, from a, a, a long line of, uh, white cracker ass, is all I gotta say.

Well, that's all right, man.

He makes some good pranks, too, man.

I heard him.

Oh, shit, man.

That one about the mill.

What is that?

The prick?

Oh, man.

That was funny shit.

Well, you know, he's racist, though.

He uses the N-word all the time.

You know that, right?

What?

He does?

Well, I'm going to give him fucking double A-ing the next time.

I'm going to give him shit, man.

I'm going to get my brother in on that shit.

Good.

Well, I just thought I should let you know.

He just hung up.

I guess Black Chef is angry.

He doesn't like people using the N-word.

DTT says Carlito does not buy hand-me-downs.

What the hell is that all about?

Oh, some people wish they could have a soundboard and he's bitching.

Yeah, Booney says some people wish they could have a soundboard and prank him.

I'm telling you, man, it's a true beat.

I tried to tell him.

Yeah, that's a goddamn true.

Well, how about we do one last call?

Let's use one of Booney's numbers.

I've got a guy with a microwave for sale, free skin analysis, minister for weddings,

ice cream truck for rent, private bartender for hire.

Her hair is all sexy female.

Black Cook's bad, man.

Yeah?

I'm hearing it in the replay.

I'm dying.

Oh, really?

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah.

That's great.

I like this Afro-Hawaiian erotic servicer calls herself a brick house.

What do we got to call her?

I wish I had that song.

Brick house.

We ought to hook up Black Cook with John Weedless.

Yeah, we should.

We should.

Maybe we should just call her.

Let's just call her, man.

Call her Ronald Milken?

Yeah, the chick.

Yeah.

She's probably still up.

Old lady.

She sounds like she stays up all night.

My mom does.

She never goes.

She said she's by herself, so she probably watches TV a lot, dude.

Yeah, probably.

Probably.

Oh, she talked to me for a long time.

Geez.

Yeah.

All right.

Well, Mary Menzies.

People are nice around here, man.

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, let's call her Ralta.

All right.

In the meantime, we'll get another song.

Not the Milkins.

Yeah, exactly.

Very good.

Well, wow, it's already 12.

Yeah, this is going to be the last call of the night.

I've got to get to sleep.

But, oh, yeah, like I said, I'm going to replay the first hour of the show, everybody.

So what I'll do is we'll do this last call

We'll say our goodbyes

We'll do the outro music

Give me about five minutes

Hang on the air

And I will replay the first hour of the show

A lot of people miss it

Because the numbers weren't as high as they are now

So if you missed the first hour of the show

Listen to it

Because there's an awesome prank call fiesta

That goes on

What was it called?

The gang bang

The prank call gang bang

Yeah, the gang bang

Prank messing up

Tag team

Exactly

I'm going to sit here and lay back in my chair

And just listen to it with a beer

Yay!

Alright, well

Well, what the hell song was it I was going to play?

Son of a goddamn mother effing...

I don't know.

You can play that Cash song again.

Hey, man, I've been...

You definitely got to send that to me.

Yeah, I've been told by my work that I have to stop cursing.

Can you believe that?

Well, I don't know what the fucking hell people's got a goddamn problem with fucking cussing.

I never fucking cuss.

I don't know what the fuck that's all about.

I can fucking cuss all I fucking want, you know what I mean?

You know, hell.

Who is it?

Taylor Mow.

Exactly.

That's how you do it.

All right, here's the song I want to play.

All right, everybody, we'll be right back with the last call of the night.

We're going to call back the mother of the madhouse.

Let's see if we can get her to be a regular call person.

Her and the Samoan boy.

We've got to call them on a semi-weekly basis at least.

All right, we'll be right back.

Hello?

Hello.

Hello, ma'am.

How are you?

All right.

Good.

Hey, we talked last week.

Remember me?

Uh-huh.

We talked about the turkey.

Oh.

Do you remember me?

Yes.

Can you help me out with something else, please?

What?

I got into an argument with my girlfriend.

What?

I got into an argument with my girlfriend.

Uh-huh.

I called her the wrong name in bed.

You called her the wrong name?

Yeah.

Why did you call her the wrong name?

I was tired.

She keeps asking me and begging me and forcing me to make love to her,

and I don't want to sometimes, and we got to it.

I called her the wrong name, and I think she got mad.

She got mad.

Well, she scratched my chest and everything.

Mm-hmm.

And then she took a shower, like, right then.

Like, she wanted to get all of me off of her, you know?

Mm-hmm.

What do I do?

Do I buy flowers?

Do you do?

Yeah, what do you think I should do to make it up?

All I can tell you, do you have a Bible in your house?

Yeah, I have some.

It's in the closet.

I took it from...

I have one in the...

I went to the hotel, and it was in the drawers, and I stole it.

You stole it?

I stole the Bible, yeah.

Idiot.

I didn't have any money for the Bible, and I went to the church, the Baptist church,

and the pastor said that he couldn't give me a Bible unless I gave him $5.

And I don't have $5, so I stole it instead.

You stole it?

Yeah.

Is that bad?

You see where your first mistake comes from?

But I stole the Bible, but I wanted to read the Bible, but I don't have the money for it.

Yeah, you wanted to read the Bible, and you stole it.

So there is where your first mistake comes from.

So I have to return it and then buy a new one?

Exactly.

So I've been reading the Bible this whole time and it's not doing anything for me?

Because you stole it.

I didn't know.

You stole it.

Well, I don't have...

You stole it.

I can't afford...

The Bible would work for you.

I can't afford a Bible, though.

Find some way to sacrifice that $5.

I went to the bookstore to read the Bible and he said I couldn't read unless I bought a coffee.

Exactly.

I stole the coffee.

All you have to do, you carry back the Bible to the church.

You ask the pastor forgiveness, and the pastor will find a way to give you one.

Well, here's the thing.

I went back to the church for service, and the pastor came out and said,

someone has stolen five Bibles.

Exactly, and you did not show yourself.

Well, I stole five.

Even after, you could have gone to the pastor and told the pastor,

the Bible. Because I didn't have the money to pay. Then the pastor will find a way to

give you the Bible. Without you you had to be guilty about it. I stole more than one

though. You stole more than one? Yes. I stole five. And what did you do with the five? Well

one of them is for my car. One of them is for the bathroom. One of them was for work.

I work at a bar, I got one for the bar, and the other one is for me to just have, you know.

I put one in the closet in case the other ones got stolen.

Because you never know, anybody is still a Bible.

But there is where your mistake is.

So look, I want to...

There is where, so you have to make it right in order for it to go right, and your girlfriend will also be right with you.

But what do I do with the Bible?

Well, do I have to give her a Bible for her to stay with me?

No, no, you've got to take the Bibles and them back and confess sins that you have done.

You know what happened?

This was Saturday when I took them, and then on Sunday I went to...

It don't matter when you take them.

Sunday I went to the service.

You've already done the wrong.

I went to the service Sunday, and he stopped everything.

He said, whoever stole the five Bibles, if I find out, I'm going to call the police.

And you did not give up yourself.

And he said, this is your chance to say it and you're not in trouble.

Say it in front of everybody.

I didn't want to say it in front of everybody.

I don't want to say I'm poor.

Exactly.

So when no one said anything.

You did not want to do it in front of everybody.

But after the service, you should have gone and made your confession right.

It was just between you, Jesus, and the pastor.

Nobody else would have known.

Okay, but the worst problem is that when I didn't stand up and nobody stood up,

he said, okay, you know what?

Since no one's going to admit to it, you're all guilty.

And then he got mad and he said, no more church for today.

And he made us all leave.

And then the biggest problem was he said, and before you go,

if anybody, even if you turn yourself in, I'm going to call the police.

You better hope I don't find out who stole the Bibles.

And he said he had an idea who it was, and he looked at me.

He looked at you?

Yeah, he knows I did it.

And he said he's going to call the police.

So what do I do now?

I'm going to go to jail for, I just want to learn about Jesus.

All you have to do is ask God to forgive you.

Go to him and let him know what you did.

And he will forgive you.

He's about seven.

You have to ask.

No, you have to have it in your heart to carry back those five Bibles and you have to ask God honestly from your heart, not the minister's heart or not your girlfriend's heart. From your heart, honestly, God forgive me for what I have done. And then you go to the minister and let him know.

Let me ask, but what do I say to my girlfriend for her to apologize? What do I do?

Well, the problem is you cannot send nothing to your girlfriend until you do what you're supposed to do.

So I have to do the Bibles first.

Exactly.

Okay.

And I do that tomorrow in the morning.

Okay.

And I'll see if I can work one out with her.

Can I call you next week and maybe find out?

No problem.

Let you know what happens.

Okay.

Is this Mary?

Yes.

Okay, Mary.

Well, thank you.

I'm Carlito.

Okay.

I live in St. Thomas.

Thank you.

I'll pray for you, too.

Okay.

Okay, God bless you.

All right.

God and the Virgin Mary and St. Joseph and St. Lazarus the blind

and the Virgin's 12 stars of the crown bless you and send over you.

And thank you for everything.

We'll watch over you, too, if you go and do the right thing.

Okay.

And don't tell me, yes, you're doing it,

and then you don't do it tomorrow because it's going to be a bigger problem tomorrow.

I know.

If I would have done this in the first place, I wouldn't have done it.

All right.

Okay.

So make sure you do that.

Okay.

Thank you, Ms. Mary.

All right.

Okay, good night.

Fantastic call, dude.

Mary is hilarious, man.

She is great.

She's a trip.

I'm going to have to call her every week now.

I need to call Mary every week and talk to her.

She's good, man.

That's a good way to end up a show, you know.

That definitely is.

Oh, my God.

That is too funny.

She always gives.

Yeah, that is too funny, man.

I can't believe that, yeah.

All right, well, that's going to be the show.

So as I said, go ahead and stay tuned for the repeat of the first hour of tonight's episode

where there was the great gangbang call, as everybody's calling it.

Do not miss it.

Please stay on.

You're going to love it.

On top of that, we're going to be back again here next Thursday.

Be sure to listen tomorrow night at 10 p.m. to Zolar, host of the Zolar Vision Show.

Zolar, of course, from the Howard Stern e-show and the Howard Stern radio show, Fame.

He's on at 10 p.m. Eastern Standard Time tomorrow, the always controversial Zolar Vision show.

The staple, the cornerstone of PC radio, KDK's Lunatic Fringe, will be on Saturday at 10 p.m. Eastern as well.

Be sure to listen to that.

That is a very, very good show.

KDK does a bang-up, super-duper job.

Sunday nights

Sunday nights I think

I'm hoping Sean Ward will come back

Sean Ward is a very funny

Comedian

Artist

And a very funny person

We need to get him to call her

I wish we had his number

Can you imagine Mabel

Talking to Mary

Miss Mary

They would just go crazy

They'd have a great conversation

We've got to hook that up one day

But he's on at 8 p.m. on Sunday.

If he's not on, I'm sure Zola or Reklut or myself and Milkman or KDK

or somebody will do something that night because we always get a lot of people in there.

No matter what, listen to PCU at night.

Anywhere starting from 10 o'clock on down, you're going to hear something.

You never know.

It's to be surprised anything can happen.

Yeah, Monday night you have Billy Muir, also from the Howard Stern Show.

He's a comedian, a very good impressionist.

From Howards Turned Famous

I said he's got the

Friends of Bill M Show

Will be on as well with Dr. Lego

Who of course provides us with our

Server space

Provides the stream that you're listening to right now

So please patronize him

Every Monday night at 8pm Eastern

Great show they have there

Lego is getting next year

I don't know if he'll review another episode of Prank the World

But if he does, that'd be great

And he's been a call to hear

He's been a caller and a guest caller

Here in the show before in the past

So be sure to check him out

Tuesday night, Reclude was also on tonight

Reclude is on at, he starts at 7pm

Which is really cool, I kind of like that

He starts at 7 and that leaves enough time

For someone else to cover after him

And get some good people

To answer him

Get some early numbers and that's good for people in Europe

Such as Nunu

Who can't stay up

It's good for him because it's earlier for him

Anyway, that's at 7pm Eastern

Recluse Tuesday night hand release

And of course

KDK returns Wednesday

For his Psychobabble

Which is the only non-prank call show

On the network

But it's still a hoot

And if you listen you might even hear a prank call

So be sure to check that out

It's always a party hearty show

It's a potpourri of surprises

Exactly, it's a very good show

It's a good unwind

Thursday at 10pm

And then we'll be back next Thursday the 21st

Here at 9.15pm Eastern

for another bang-up episode of the Madhouse.

Great show tonight, Milkman.

Yay!

Yay, had a great time.

Everybody, thank you for participating.

Everybody who called, everybody in the chat room,

be sure once again to visit kdkprankcalls.com.

Again, that's kdkprankcalls.com,

as well as the Madhouse home, which is madhouselive.com.

We'll be here again, as I said, next week at 10 p.m.

So, Milkman, thank you for being on.

Thanks a lot, man.

All right.

Great time we had, everybody, and we'll catch you all here next week.

Have a great weekend.

Enjoy your Friday TGIF.

It is now Friday.

You can slack tomorrow, everybody.

I'm going to slack so much tomorrow that I'm going to get drunk.

It's time for...

Hey, you know, the dead needs to lighten up, man.

Yeah.

Slack and lighten up, man.

What's wrong with the dead?

Is he upset in the chat room again?

No, he's talking suicidal here.

He gets up and waits out.

He's joking

Don't listen to him

I think so

I think he's just

He's just trying to keep people interested

Yeah

Lighten up anyway

He's got a sick humor

He has dark humor

Which I kind of dig

That's why I like him

He's a funny guy

He did great tonight though

Great job today

Don't go away

Don't leave us

Because we love you

We don't love you

Thanks for calling in

Yeah

You did a great job

We wouldn't have

He was in the big gang bang

Yeah exactly

That's what I'm saying

We need to keep him off

For the next one

This will lighten him up

Exactly

And everybody stay tuned

We're going to replay that.

All right, that's it.

I can't talk anymore.

Milkman has said thank you.

All right.

Thank you, everybody.

I love you all.

Have a good weekend, God damn it.

Rest in peace, Big John.

Yeah.

Big John Melendez.

Who?

Big John Cash.

Madhouse Radio is live Thursday nights at 10 p.m. Eastern.

Why don't you shut the hell up?

Fuck you!

Fuck you fucking piece of shit!

Be sure to visit us online at madhouselive.com.

Calls (9, 25 min of 2 h 20 min)

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