2005-10-16 Show (part 1)

Who the fuck is this?

You are listening to the Madhouse Radio Podcast.

The motherfucking press.

Hey, good evening to this very super special, emotional, controversial, religious Sunday night edition of the Madhouse.

With me on the line, I assume I have the dirty ass Milkman.

Milkman, are you there?

Hey, baby, what's happening, man?

This is going to be good, man.

I'm all pumped.

Hopefully, we got everything we need.

We got a good phone card.

Thank you very much, Milkman.

I got plenty more.

I got two more, so we've got plenty, yeah.

Awesome, awesome.

We got that going.

What else?

Lonesome Losers in the chat room, as always.

Thank you very much, Mr. Lonesome.

Yeah, baby.

How can we do it without him?

He's our man.

I don't know.

PC will be at a huge disadvantage without Lonesome Loser, that's for sure.

And you know what?

I've got to turn on the TV.

The TV's on.

He's a trooper.

I mean, he is our ground trooper, our man in the trenches.

That's true.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I don't know how we do what we do without him, you know,

because he comes through with such quality numbers, and thank you very much as always.

Exactly, man.

Thank you.

And everybody else out there, thank you very much for listening.

Pretty good numbers out there as far as listeners are concerned,

so I thank you all for joining in.

A little bit of Mary Jane here for you all.

I spark up what's left of my marijuana stash,

and I think I'm going to quit after what I have left, Milkman.

It might be time to quit.

Oh, no.

Yeah, I'm going to start smoking.

Uh-oh, you're going to have to take a good break now.

I'm going to start smoking crack, I think.

No, my sources for...

Oh, shit, man.

No, no, no, no.

My sources for weed have gone away.

He's gotten in trouble with the law.

Oh, right, right.

And he started actually sleeping with his...

He started sleeping with his mother-in-law, who's about five years older than him.

Oh.

Yeah.

So his dad knocked him out to the cops that he's dealing, so he's all scared.

And I don't want to go through the trouble of finding someone else

I think it might be time for me to quit

Yeah, I hear you

Yeah, and I can buy alcohol still

So I think I'll do drunk shows from now on

Since KDK looks like he might be stopping that for some while

Which I applaud him

I applaud him for going on the wagon

Exactly

He did a sober show last night

And it was actually a really good show

He's always worried

But you know what, that's how I see it

It was a great show

Yeah, I get worried about, you know

Not having, not being able to get high

But I'll probably do good

I think that music's too loud

I don't know

actually you'll get over the shock after the first couple weeks to couple months if you if

you stay with that long and after that you know you're like oh well yeah well i did it just clouds

me i did four months um about this time last year all the way up until christmas christmas eve and

then i got into issues with my ex-girlfriend we broke up at that point shit started going crazy

around me and i i i fell off the wagon i started smoking again so here here's to saying uh weed

Feed free again.

You can do it.

I've got enough for two nights left, tonight and tomorrow.

I might save that last day's worth for next Thursday, do my last show.

There you go.

Well, man, actually, when I laid off, man,

I couldn't get down past the last half a joint every month or two.

Really?

So finally when I gave up, man, that's the level I was at.

And then I spent 11 years, man, since I had doing the cotton job.

Oh, hey, good for you, man.

This has been a long time.

I've been a good boy, though.

Yeah, you've been a good boy.

Well, you deserve it.

You deserve it.

I spent so many thousands of dollars growing up.

Oh, God, I can't even imagine how much I spent on weed.

And, wow, I started smoking.

Oh, my God.

Excuse me, I started smoking like in 2000.

So I'm thinking in the last five years, I probably smoked more.

Oh, really?

2000?

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah.

You don't want to hear when I started.

Oh, yeah, let's not get into that.

Right before you was born, son.

Back then, as you see in that movie, Half-Baked Back, when you started smoking a nickel bag, it cost a nickel, right?

Is that how it was?

No.

Oh, yeah, it cost a nickel.

actually cost less. You could buy the whole

ounce for $15. Oh my god!

$15 for a minus. Yeah, and you'd fold the sack

over the top. If it

didn't fold all the way over the top, then that was full.

Really? So what was a lid

back then? A lid, right?

Just a lid is just whatever

you normally get it at. If it's a

OZ, if you're scoring OZs normally, then

you get an OZ, that's your lid.

Oh, okay. I thought a lid was an actual amount of weight.

A lot of people, as time went on,

back at first, no, no, no.

It varies on what your regular amount would be.

Okay, oh, okay.

But back in the day, you know, OZs was the way to do it.

Actually, two OZs was your lid, because you got two OZs for 30.

Yeah, okay.

OZ, ounces.

Oh, okay, I see what you're saying.

I was like, this whole time, I was like, what the hell is an OZ?

This whole time, I was thinking, anyway, well, that's cool.

Well, I don't even think about it.

That's my old lingo back from my head days in 1917, you know.

Uh-huh.

See, you know, since I've actually stopped now, I have to let you hear what I really sound like.

Now, this is my impersonation voice of a normal person.

This is what I really sound like since I had to quit Carlito.

Is that what did it, huh?

This is what the milkman has to do now.

I normally ride around on a rascal scooter.

Rascal scooter.

All right, well, hey, Nunu says that it's time to do pranks.

He's also saying that you started smoking

He says you started smoking in 1923

That's very correct

I was born in 1917

I was a young boy

Yeah, alright, well

Grandpa started the brownies when I was a young Amish lad

Where's my, you know

There we go

Yeah, I had a gun, yeah, I'm sorry

I'm sorry

It's just I have to take control sometimes

I had the gun, I'm just messing with you

So yeah, alright

All right, let me, as Noonoo's clamoring over there, let me get started with a prank call here.

Yeah, let's get him set up, boy.

Let's set it off.

Let's shout out real quick, DTT, Dead's in the House, we've got Brandon from Vegas, Boone, Me, Lifey, all our buddies out there.

Welcome, welcome.

It's going to be a good ride.

Thank you very much.

Thank you for joining us.

We've got numbers for James Conman.

Of course, the Lonesome.

Lonesome is right.

Yeah, of course, Lonesome.

We've got numbers for James Conman, Alfonso Crook.

I've already called Alfonso Crook.

That's one of my calls that I have.

I've got Moa Fock Puta, Phil Puta, Sarika Puta, Janina Puto, and Nika Moles.

Nika Moles.

Interesting.

I've got, well, that's funny.

A Latina woman answered at 916 at the name of Janina Puto.

Puto meaning a male bitch.

You call someone a puto, you're pretty much telling them off.

That's a big Mexican thing.

My people are putos and stuff like that.

No.

You're looking to get your ass kicked.

Yeah, you call someone a puto, you're looking to get into trouble in Mexico.

Or in California, Southern California.

Yeah, they were fighting words.

Yeah, those were fighting words.

Bear with me, I'm just setting everything up.

I started the show about ten minutes after walking in the door with a handful of groceries.

I've been running all over the place today and Sunday.

I never rest.

so um that's why i'm playing music now while i get everything set up audio wise and phone i

gotta connect the phone and i gotta go grab my beer out the fridge and uh let me get this here

set up right quick hang on there we go you can't have a show without applause you know oh yeah man

okay we've got our audience here exactly our in-studio audience exactly i had to make sure

that was working and close that all out there put that on the bottom of the screen so i can click

on that whenever i need to actually gotta change that thing we're almost there hang on everybody

we'll start up in just a second what's going on with you milkman how was your weekend man it's

been a pretty good weekend except for my isp god darn there's been a like a depression a tropical

depression that's been passing through here in rain for about almost a month straight okay and

man my isp's been getting like major gas problems flatulating big time i'm sitting there you know in

the middle of a connection that thing takes a fart and heck i might i might be off for a minute

I might be off for hours, and my connect speed's down to about 25% of what it should be.

Right.

That sucks, man.

That sucks.

That's bullshit right there, man.

I'm sorry to hear that.

All right, well, let me try to...

So if I get smacked out, I'll be back as soon as I can, man.

Yeah, well, all right.

Something happens to me.

Yeah, something happens, just message me, and we'll get you on.

Okay.

Well, let's...

Same procedure.

Let's call Janina Puto.

It is 936.

We'll be right back with the first call of the night.

You're listening to the Madhouse Special Edition on Sunday.

Hello, Buenas Tardes.

Buenas Tardes, how are you?

Hello.

I speak English.

May you speak to me?

I speak English.

Speak to me, bitch.

Hey, can you help me out?

I need some pussy, man.

I'm looking for some pussy, man.

Some pussy, man.

You got some pussy, man.

I speak English.

What do you speak, man?

I speak Spanish.

You speak Spanish?

No.

Then what do you speak, you stupid Mexican?

What do you speak?

Italian.

Italian?

You speak Italian?

You speak French?

What are you?

Hey, puto.

Cock, goddammit.

I didn't speak anything.

He didn't speak anything.

He knows what's up.

He knows he's going to get pranked.

He knows.

He knew it was coming.

Yeah, exactly.

Opening up with puto.

Yeah, all right.

That's what they get for opening.

It's a pussy.

Yeah, you want some pussy, man.

That's what they get for doing that.

All right.

I'll lead him in, man.

Yeah, all right.

Well, we got Muwafak Puta.

Muwafak Puta.

Miss Puta?

No, she's not here.

Who am I speaking with, then?

I'm her niece.

Who is this?

God damn it.

Look here.

This is Chirico.

And I want to understand what's the whole thing with the advertisement here in the phone book with the puta, man.

Okay.

Well, you know what that means.

I'm looking for my son.

Well, excuse me.

It's a last name.

It has nothing to do with that word, okay?

Don't you fucking yell at me.

What do you think you're talking like that to me for, huh?

Who do you think yourself is?

Some puta is who I'm talking to.

Bitch, I'm the niece.

I know who you are.

Well, excuse me, so don't call here again or I'll let you down.

Oh, I'm so afraid.

Well, fuck you.

Fuck you, fuck your mother, fuck your aunt, you fucking bitch.

Come on, come on, bring it up.

Come on, what, you got a problem?

You want to go toe-to-toe to me?

You don't want to answer my problem?

Please enter your destination number now.

I'm an uppity bitch.

I'm not talking about your ass, man.

That was good.

You don't have to come across so rude to me.

What the fuck's your problem?

That's not the word.

Yeah.

Anyway.

So, yeah, Sean Ward is not on tonight.

Sean Ward is not on.

The warden.

Where the heck is our warden?

He's filming some TV shows or something.

I don't know.

Am I?

Oh, yes.

Yeah.

We got a cross-platformer here.

Yep.

He's moving up.

So, he's doing some kind of show or something.

And then he's recording, so he's not going to be in this week.

Oh, okay.

He'll probably be in, like, at midnight, I think, according to...

You don't ever go to the forums, do you?

Sometimes I do.

Not a lot.

Not lately.

Since all the crap's been going on, I haven't really been over there.

I've been having some trouble with my PC.

And then last week I had that incident where I got caught in the milking machine.

Now my fingers have completely grown back on.

Oh, well, that sucks.

Keep on trucking.

That's what they say.

Exactly.

Well, thank you.

Thank you, Lonesome, for coming through with that number.

And that kind of worked out.

I'm still waiting on him to come through with some more.

I'm sure he will in a second.

Again, he works very hard over there.

Let's see what else I can do here.

I'm not going to stay on too long, actually.

I'm not going to stay on too long.

I might do a little bit after 10, 15, 10.30 or something like that.

Maybe a half hour, 45 minutes.

Just trying to do a little something for everybody out there.

There's a lot of people listening right now.

Yeah, let's do it.

Trying to get my prank on.

And I'm offering it up to anybody else who wants to go on.

It doesn't look like Rekluid's on, but I know Zolar is jumping in,

and he might want to do a show.

Okay, cool.

Yeah, maybe a repeat of the whole super all-star show we had a few weeks ago.

Maybe he'll like to do it.

I've told him, and he's come across it.

He's having computer problems.

Let me see, actually.

He hasn't said anything.

He's working on it.

So maybe he'll be on.

Maybe not.

We'll see.

Randy Dandy is saying that someone is in the chat room with his name.

Huh.

Not NPC.

I don't know what he's saying.

He says someone's in his name in the chat, but not.

I don't see him even on any of the servers.

It's only coming back with just his name.

Yeah, well, he's Randy Dandy, too.

I guess that's it.

I don't know.

I just checked.

He's not anywhere on the server other than here.

Yeah, exactly.

Exactly.

Well, anyway, yeah, I'll keep you posted if Zolark gives me a message,

if he's going to be on or not.

I'll let you all know what's going on with that.

Let me actually send him a text message.

And I am real quick.

Are you interested on going?

Randy Dandy, you ought to go ahead and do a Nick change now

because I don't see you anywhere but PCU.

Yeah, I see, like I said, I see a Randy Dandy, too.

I don't know if that's him or what.

That's it.

That's it?

That's him.

Okay, yeah, so yeah.

So change your nickname.

And yeah, you're supposed to...

And register it.

I'm putting you as an op.

I already got permission to do that yesterday, so yeah.

And Madman's confirming there's no such lazy Nick Chanton,

no such person under that name.

So Randy's just changed his name.

Okay, so Randy's okay.

He put a symbol at the end of his shit.

There he goes.

There you go, Randy.

Randy figured it out.

Good work, Randy.

Congratulations.

Yeah, he's a good type.

There you go.

All right.

There you go.

Okay, let's do another call.

Let's see what I've got working.

Everybody, if you have any calls, any numbers you want to submit to me, now would be the time.

AOL Instant Messenger, Madhouse Radio.

Again, AOL Instant Messenger, Madhouse Radio.

Yahoo Messenger, Madhouse PCU Radio.

And MSN is MadhousePCURadio at Hotmail.com.

Um, Google Talk is Madhouse Radio, which nobody talks to me at, so, eh, whatever.

Oh, is that for Milkman?

Milkman's the only person that talks to me on there.

Yeah, man.

Yeah, so, hey.

You're the man.

How, how is, um, how is, uh, Trillium working for you?

Trillium Pro.

We got, we got the hook up with that.

Oh, man.

Hey, let me, I gotta do a big shout out to my brother, Boo.

Ooh, man.

Yeah, man, Boonie got us set up, man, with the Trillium Pro.

Cool.

And this thing is mad.

All right.

Mad.

I mean, it does so much stuff, dude.

What does it do other than what the basic does?

Well, okay, it's got two other services.

Actually, if you've got your own home network, let's say you've got computers in your house,

you can create your own messaging program right in the house, like from computer to computer.

Oh, sweet.

Yeah, that's the Rendezvous.

And then there's another one called Jabber.

I don't know who all use it.

I think Google's using a version of Jabber, but I haven't figured out which one it is.

But other people that are using Jabber, you can also now enter there.

Well, Jabber is Google Talk, right, I believe?

Yeah, I think so.

I think so, but I've got to find a server name.

Once I get the server name, then I'll be on there with that.

Oh, I've got instructions.

I know how.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, I'll send you a link after the show.

Yeah, yeah, cool.

Send them over, man.

And then the logging is, like, incredibly crazy, man.

I mean, it's so detailed.

It gives you a time scale, the amount of duration.

You can search by name, by word.

You know, it completely logs everything.

And also, it shows all your icons now of all your people in the main window.

It's really cool, man.

Oh, cool.

That's cool.

I like that.

Yeah.

I like that very much.

All right.

I'm going to have to do that as well after the show.

I'm just behind on shit.

Yeah.

That's all right, man.

We'll get you set up, man.

You get a few minutes.

It's not that big a deal.

Yeah, okay.

Good deal.

Well, we'll do that.

All right.

Let's do another call real quick for everybody.

Try to get in as many as I can here while I have time.

James Conman in Michigan.

Let's go ahead and give him a call.

I wonder if he was on that Con Air flight.

I don't know.

Con Air?

In the movie?

In the movie.

Great movie.

Yeah, well, is this maybe the guy that I called asking him if...

Yeah, I think I already talked to this dude, though.

Oh, I don't know.

I think I called him once asking him if he gets pulled over a lot with his last name.

I don't know.

Oh, hey, look at this.

We got Melvin Reaper just came in.

Melvin Reaper.

Some foreign-sounding old lady who answered about six minutes ago.

And that's from Lonesome.

So we're going to go ahead and try that, then.

Give me one moment here, and we'll get that on the line.

Thank you, everybody.

We'll be right back with the next call.

All right.

Hello?

Hello, how are you?

I'm fine.

This is Sundy.

What are you calling for?

Well, I'm looking for Mr. Reaper.

We need him to come in tomorrow.

We're going to be filming some stuff for Halloween, and we need the Reaper to come down.

We heard he's very grim tonight.

To who?

Well, we're filming some Halloween specials, and down here at the local station here at Arlington

I'll tend up the NBC affiliate.

We're going to be having people with Halloween-like last names.

And Mr. Reaper is top of our list, and he's eligible for a trip to Disney World.

And $5,000 courtesy of the Big White Grocery Store.

You think he could be here about 6 a.m. here at the NBC station?

We'll put him on, and we're going to have women who will give him a massage and everything?

I do. Thanks, Bill.

Well, what's wrong? Is it the massage?

Well, give me your name and who you're calling from.

Well, my name is Jack Valenti.

Yes.

Do you need me to spell that for you?

I also want to know who you work for.

I work for the NBC station here in Arlington.

What NBC station?

NBC, Channel 12.

I didn't know they had one here.

Well, now you do.

Was there a problem with NBC?

I have no idea.

I've never seen it.

What are you, some stinking Democrat?

You didn't even go to church today, did you?

Well, no, just sit there.

Go, go, go.

I command you to speak.

Go, Melvin, please.

Damn it, woman, I know you're there.

Send a news chopper over top of our house now.

Yeah, yeah, we're going to send a news chopper over top of your house now.

All right, bitch.

Well, I'm going to hang up then.

Rude bitch.

Bitch.

Bitch, you bitch, yeah.

I hear the chopper moving.

Yeah.

I used to have a good chopper sound effect, but I don't have it anymore.

I lost the bitch.

Oh, shit.

She just didn't want to talk either.

Yeah, she's no fun.

Where was she at, that grouchy old bag?

Yeah.

You know, I need to come up with better fake names, because I keep using Jack Valenti.

Well, Jack Valenti is a good name, though, man.

I do think it's a good one.

I got some numbers here I'm sending you that are coming in too, man.

All right, cool, cool.

Send us on in.

Some dedicated numbers here.

Good deal.

Send them on in.

We'll do that.

I got an Alexandru Jiga in California who answered.

A lady answered there.

That number, 945, about six minutes ago.

It came from Lonesome Mozo.

I got your numbers coming in.

If you want to send in anything else to us here at the Madhouse,

through the chat room you can do that.

Visit kdkprankcalls.com.

You can reach us and send us anything you'd like.

Let's see what's up to Reclude, who I see has joined the chat room as well.

He sent in a bunch.

Oh, he did?

Okay, good.

Good, Reclude.

Hey, Reclude, by the way, if you feel up to it, I'll be going off the air at about 10.30 and about a half hour or so from now.

So if you want to take over after that, or Zola wants to take over, or KDK wants to take over,

or anybody out there wants to take over, by all means do so.

And welcome to Nigga Stole a Bike, who's also in the chat room now, of course.

All right.

All righty, well, let me continue moving on.

And did you send me those numbers yet, or am I waiting on you still?

Yeah, I sent one in AIM.

That first set there, that's new now.

All right, let me get that in AIM.

There it is.

No, it's not.

There it is.

I don't have it.

You give a little bio on it.

I don't have it from you.

Let me see if Reclude, no, Reclude hasn't sent it yet.

I don't know.

Are you sure you sent it?

I don't have it.

I don't know.

Yeah, I'll send it again.

Yeah, it says you signed off, actually, off of AIM.

I'm off AIM?

Yeah, it says you're signed off, yeah.

All right.

Dude, I'm online.

Yeah, okay.

That's okay.

In the meantime, you get that working, we'll call Mr. Jigga real quick.

I got to get the right Jigga music here before moving forward.

What do I have for Jigga?

Jigga.

I'll just send him to you here on Google Talk if you have a problem.

Okay.

All right, go for it.

All right, we'll be right back, everybody, with the next call.

It is now 9.53.

You're listening to the Madhouse on PC Radio.

Turn the music up in the headphones.

Good evening.

What's going to go?

The damn echo.

Who?

First of all, lower your voice, okay?

Why are you talking so loud?

What's the matter with you?

You listening to me?

No.

What do you mean, no?

Then why are you saying no, then?

I don't know who is you.

I don't know who is you, you stupid liar.

Nah.

Can I speak with Jigga, please?

Jigga.

Can I speak with Jigga?

He's not here.

Well, who is this?

Is this Miss Jigga?

Yeah.

Jigga.

Jigga, Jigga.

Jigga who?

Jigga what?

Hello?

Yeah.

Jigga who?

I don't know who.

Jigga what?

I guess she doesn't understand that.

That was kind of stupid.

Goddamn calls aren't working tonight.

This is what I get for trying to do a great, super special edition show.

It's a bunch of crap because it's no good.

Damn it, man.

Crap, crap, crap on the hand stick.

All right, let's see what else is going on.

Someone get a hold of Reclude.

Reclude, give me a call.

Anybody else give me a call.

You can call the toll-free line.

It's open.

Yeah, 888-278-8509.

Again, the toll-free line here is 888-278-8509.

Yeah, Reklu, by all means, give me a call here.

I don't think you're logged in to AIM.

That's what it is.

I'm not logged in to AIM.

No, it shows you're not logged in.

I'm going to send this to Google.

Yeah, send it to Google.

That's weird.

Your dot's closed.

That's why I couldn't send it to you.

That's what I couldn't figure out.

Okay.

That's new name, and here's a shitload I'm going to be coming from Reklu.

All right, cool.

Reckless is going mad with the numbers.

All right, cool, cool, cool, cool.

See, that's a good sign.

Reckless should go on, I think.

Reckless should let me do my thing for a little bit, and then he should go on.

Oh, yeah.

Reckless follows up with the freaking double gang tag team on this night.

This would be a good one, man.

Policemen would really get a benefit.

Yeah, the guy there, in truth, is I'm trying to, I got some stuff I got to do here in the apartment,

and maybe some TV to watch or something.

But like I said, I'm doing something for you all right now, and then Reckless will take over,

And then I can even join Reclute on the gizmo.

Or Milkman, you're welcome to help him out, too.

Just, you know, do your thing.

Yeah, man, I'm always up, man.

Y'all just let me know.

All right.

I'm always happy.

That's up to Reclute.

So give me a shot at Reclute, and we'll hand it over to you.

Okay, let's stop talking about that now.

Let's give a call.

Yeah, that's John Carver.

That's some new news number.

He hates evolution.

Tell him he's won a holiday to the Galapagos Islands.

I like that very much.

Tell him how nice the air, how great the weather is, and fans of Charles Darwin.

Discovering the theory of evolution.

okay we'll do that um but i'm gonna take a a mini break here because i need to get some beer out of

the fridge because my system is lonely right now let me pull a song that i'll play real quickly

one song as i hit the bathroom and uh take a whiz real quick and then we'll start the show

uh back with that call for new new uh before it gets too late for him because over there it's

like what three in the morning or two i don't know what the hell what the hell's going on over

But, you know, I don't know what to fucking play.

I'm not prepared.

What's up there, fuckers?

Hey, what's up, bitch?

How you doing there, recluse?

Hey, not bad, man.

Let's insult some people.

All right.

Doesn't it always feel good to insult people?

Oh, yeah.

It gets me ready to go into work.

That's what I say.

Oh, yeah.

What do you work at again?

I don't work there. I breed champion horses, man. You know that. No, I don't. I work at

an office and we translate shit. I don't know. It's a weird place. It's like a law firm kind

of thing, but they do a lot of other stuff.

Like fucking deadbeats, like wetback languages?

Wetback languages, Chinaman languages, Arab languages.

That's good for you.

Mm-hmm.

Good for you.

Okay.

Speak the white man's language. That's great.

That's right. Well, I'm supporting the white man myself. You want to call this dude who's

freezes or your number your number actually or you want we can call this uh john calvert actually

for noon if you want yeah that's good i called him last week yeah we'll call him again all right

cool all right good deal i've never called him but we can try that have you yeah his plan is we

should call tell him he's on a holiday to the galapagos islands no you know it's funny it's

like i called him last week i told him about the theory of hand release okay all right that sounds

good did you really what what was this he got he got real pissed at me he said say what what is

your motive of calling? Are you just some sick bastard or some shit? I can't remember

what he said. Well, he's the one with all the answers, you should know. I know, he knows

everything. Exactly. Oh, that fucker. All right, well, hey, let's do that right now,

then. We'll be right back, everybody. Reckless on the line. Hey, you, Reckless, are you interested

in picking up after me here? I can't stay on for much longer. Yeah, I'm going to go

check. I haven't even fucking tried out my new audio setup past, like, going online,

but let me just, yeah, give me, like, about 15 minutes, and I'll work it out for you.

Okay, cool, cool. Well, you let me know when you're ready to go on, and I'll try to see if I can stay on that long, so you don't lose any listeners.

We got a pretty good number right now, so you should...

Oh, shit, yeah. Right after this call, I'll go fucking get ready, then.

Awesome. All right, dude. All right, well, hang on, everybody. We'll be right back at Reclute. Just one more.

No problem.

I gotta call this number.

This is

id net please leave a message at the beat yeah you fuck you like that

evolution, do you? You're going

to hell! I got your evolution

right here. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. They're evolving their ass-whooping.

Yeah, exactly. My, my.

Oh, wait a minute. No, no, no. You're the guy that...

Wait a minute. What? I think we got this

fucked up. Now, this is the guy...

Does he like it? No, he doesn't like it.

Okay, you're on our side, buddy. You're on our side.

We got oral for you. No, no, he likes...

Oh, yeah, that's right. Okay, yeah. Yeah, we like this

guy. All right, yeah. We like you,

John Calvary. Okay, we got oral and anal for you.

you what do you want yeah what do you however you want it we'll hook it up for you you want

a fucking tossed salad you dirty fuck no wait you know you're on our side yeah i'm sorry man

we're gonna take it out of school as they're polluting minds with all that fucking evolution

it's been a bit right on you fuck you prank master's gonna own your ass hang on record i

might lose you here hang on no no it's not record it's prank master oh yeah prank master i mean

I mean, listen, I don't...

She's on your recording.

What are you doing in me piece?

You know, they say a prank master's innocent now.

That's the whole consensus.

Oh, fuck that fat fucking guitar-playing bitch, Psyche.

He plays guitar.

Oh, that bitch, yeah, exactly, yeah.

What a motherfucking bitch.

Here's what the deal is, all right?

The bitch was fucking at a ham up her ass,

and her husband was talking,

and then Zolar mentions the Howard Stern show,

and then she's like, oh, oh, okay, she's awake.

Exactly, yeah.

Look at what you're bullshitting me, y'all.

Please enter your destination number now.

I can go with that.

All right, Greg Lula, thank you very much for trying.

Let me get off of here.

I'll get prepared.

It'll take me a bit.

Yeah, it's fine.

Don't even worry about it.

I mean, if you've got to go to bed, go to bed.

I'll pick up when I can.

Will you please try your call again, please?

All right, cool.

Good news.

All right, thank you.

This is a recording.

It's someone else calling in, but now they're no longer there.

I think I know who it was.

I'm not sure.

I think it was Randy Dandy who was calling in.

So, Randy, if that was you calling in or anybody else, whoever was calling in, free-for-all call back.

That's 1-888-278-8509.

You can be here.

And I guess we have confirmation.

Reclude's going to try to go on after I leave at 1030.

And what's all this then?

Oh, that is.

Someone said something weird in the chat room.

Okay.

Chinese crested teacups.

Ooh, look at that.

Yeah, Reclude's got this thing where he's been finding, like, ads for pets or missing pets

or people selling pets and calling and fucking with them like that, using that as a reason to call them.

Oh, this one, I guess they're selling them?

Yeah.

Yeah, this one must be selling.

I just remember hearing him say, I mean, he didn't explain it to me, but I know that was his concept,

so that's what I'm seeing here.

Okay.

These are dogs.

Okay, that's a cool concept.

All right, well, hang on.

Let's try one of those, and we're going to try to buy a dog.

Aw, they're not there.

Bunch of bastards

Okay you see the one

That I just sent

There's Steven Tyler's dad

Is that for real

Ah that's what it says

That'd be cool

That's for real

Hell yeah man

I love that everybody

Yeah someone was calling

Steven Tyler

I don't know what to tell

Steven Tyler's dad

Holy shit

I'm gonna ask him

His big ass

I can ask him

His big ass list

Randy Danny says

You won't answer your phone

That's Randy Danny

That was calling

Well yeah cause I had

I was in the middle

Of a prank call

I was in the middle

Of a prank call

That's why

So yeah try

Well he's on delay

So I figured

He'll figure this out shortly.

He'll figure it out, and he can call back, and we'll put him on for sure.

Let me try to call Steven Tyler's dad.

Hang on, everybody.

We'll be right back.

Hell, yeah.

You on the bat, Al?

What's up, homie?

What up, dawg?

How you doing?

I'm down from the streets being my friend from Compton.

All right, girlfriend.

That's nice.

Yeah.

Me and my nothing much.

How you doing, Randy?

It's good to hear from you.

It's been a while since you've been here.

I'm just doing fine and dandy.

All right.

Well, hence the name, Randy Dandy, huh?

Yeah.

That actually works out pretty nice.

Exactly.

So, your cards lose.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Yeah.

Well, then now I'm going to cheer for the White Sox.

I think the White Sox are going to pull it off, I'm pretty sure.

So, you're choosing to root for the White Sox in spite of what happened then?

Yeah, but I'll never root for the Cubs.

Okay.

Well, that's fine.

Andy's not here.

I'm not a baseball fan at all.

I watch and everything, but baseball, I don't know.

I'm more of a football, NBA kind of guy myself.

Too much standing around in baseball for me, you know what I mean?

Yeah, I watch, like, college basketball.

Yeah, I can't get into college basketball.

There's so many teams, it's hard to get into it, man.

Oh, yeah, that gets confusing unless you get into one division.

Yeah, you know, yeah, I think that's what I've got to do.

I've got to pick a division to stick to.

I might do that here soon.

But anyway, so how are you feeling?

Are you feeling up to a prank call, or are you feeling up to just calling and shooting the shit?

I'll do a call.

Oh, I have school tomorrow, so I'm in the mood to do one.

Look what I got.

I've got Bozo.

That's the name, Bozo, in California.

Some weird guy answered a 955 and lonesome called with a strange accent.

He called him, and he was blowing a clown horn into the phone.

So that sounds like a trip.

You've got to, like, ask this guy to come to your party or something.

You know what I mean?

Something's got to go with this guy.

Hey, hey, did you manage to hear that one lady last night kneeling at the gay club?

I've got it.

The one I knew?

Yeah, I've got a copy of it here.

Oh, my God, that lady was hilarious.

Yeah, I'll play that.

I'll play that here before I go.

Sure.

And I'll try to play that in between the time rec move goes on.

So, yeah, no problem.

Yeah, we'll play that.

So if you can, stay up for that.

We'll play it for you.

Did you understand a word she was saying?

I understand some Milkman.

Milkman understands that stuff.

That's Patois.

Isn't that Milkman?

It was actually a little bit of Patois, but it was a lot of Jamaican.

Yeah, I can't hear himself.

So she was really laying out some serious cussing.

She was telling him, asking like, you know, who the hell are you?

I'll try.

He can't hear me, so I'll tell you later.

Okay, tell me later.

All right, yeah.

Let me get you on with Bozo the Clown, all right?

I don't know if it's a clown, but his name is Bozo, at least, and he seems to be weird.

So we'll put him on with you.

All right, hang on, everybody.

Right back with our guest caller, Brett.

My birthday, my birthday.

I think you got the wrong number.

Well, I heard that my friend called you up, and he said that they were honking horns,

and I have no idea, but I want a birthday party bad.

Well, good luck. Goodbye.

What am I going to have to do? Call Mr. Rogers?

Damn it.

What an asshole. I know, right?

What are you going to do? Call Mr. Rogers?

He doesn't do appearances. He's dead.

Yeah.

Please enter your destination number now.

You want to try calling Dick Dick?

Dick Dick?

Yeah.

Okay.

This balance will allow you to talk for 2 hours, 31 minutes, 29 seconds.

Dick Dick in California.

She's on to us.

I think she got the call from Lonesome and just had her disconnect.

Oh, fuck.

I was actually expecting like a guy with a weird voice to answer the bows at one.

Yeah, I was hoping for that.

Like who?

You know, like a Krusty the Clown kind of guy sounding guy, that would be great.

Yeah, I was going to go, that's why I started with the bar mitzvah thing.

Yeah, that would be great.

Exactly.

You just have to tell me, you have to be kosher, no matter what, you have to be kosher.

Do you want to try one more here before I let you go?

I've got an Arlene and a Gerald Weed.

Sure, let's see if we can get any luck out of this.

Okay, third time's a charm.

We'll be right back everybody.

meeting arlene and gerald weed hello you hear about roger fuck these people man

your destination number now hang on let's try them again your current

will allow you to talk for 30 minutes 29 seconds okay i'll do this i'm gonna go

hurry we missed you call us on our cell phone fuck you hang on

Hey, Joe, how's it going?

I was trying to sell you some Girl Scout cookies, but it seems like you hung up on me.

Yeah, you bet.

As you can tell, I have a real strong voice, and I'm obviously in the Girl Scouts.

Call me back at 261-050.

Hi, and I love you.

You're sexy.

Hi.

Oh, babe.

Well, there's no luck tonight.

There's no luck tonight, no?

I'll try, dear.

I got these 12 extra minutes here to see what's up.

Yeah, what's up?

Do you know what show Sean Ward's on?

He's not on a...

I don't think he's on a show.

He's doing something.

I'm gonna, I'll tell you real quick here.

He's doing something.

Sorry, real quick.

Do-do-do-do-do.

Where is he up here?

His name is Sean Ward.

He's over here.

Show of Conflictions, he says.

He is on Ed's night party, he says.

Oh, they must have re-invited him, because he was already on that show.

He was in the hot tub.

Yeah, they're taping four episodes tonight.

They taped three last night, I guess, so, damn.

I'd hate to be the guy who's a puppet.

What is this show?

Is it a comedy sketch show or something?

What I've heard is, actually I think there's a clip in the forum somewhere, if it's still there, but it's like a show, and it has this funny looking puppet guy, and he's the host of the show, and it has this other woman, and she's the co-host, and they have this one part, and it's called the hot tub part, and all these hot women gather around the hot tub guests, and the last time Sean was on, he was the hot tub guest.

Okay, that's crazy.

Wow, that sounds fun.

Give it to Sean Ward.

That's a thing moving up, man.

That's where I want to be in about a year.

So is that Canada?

I guess that's Canada only.

Yeah, that's on, I think it's City TV.

City TV.

Yeah, I don't live there.

City TV is the one that plays porno out there, too, right?

At late at night or something like that?

Yeah, I think at night.

That's what Izzy says.

Okay, cool, cool.

All right, man.

Well, that works.

You're in Illinois, but okay, but Izzy.

So what's up with Izzy, too, man?

I haven't heard about him in a while.

He's had a disappearance.

I guess he's too busy with his so-called girlfriends.

You should see what he looks like, though.

I doubt he has that many.

Really?

He might, if girls in Toronto or wherever he lives are that easy.

Then I want to move there.

Unless he's like my one friend who stalks, and the girls hate him.

But I doubt that's busy.

I wouldn't know.

Well, good luck tonight and later.

Yeah, I'll do a few more minutes and I'll hand it over to somebody else,

hopefully a regular, if not, I don't know.

I hope a real good call comes out of this.

I hope so, I hope so.

If not, then...

We had no luck in the...

Yeah, well, if not, then I guess people are going to listen to it instead of just recording shit, so...

There we go.

Alright, man, well, thanks for calling, man.

Later.

Okay, that's Randy, Dandy, everybody.

Thank you very much, Mr. Dandy, for calling in.

Yeah, how you doing there?

Hi.

Hey, is this the Asian...

Hello, is this the Asian Femdom?

Yeah.

Great, I'm interested.

Well, talk me out, what's going on?

How'd you get our number?

I got it here.

A friend of a friend sent it to me.

My friend, Mr. Kim, sent it to me.

Okay.

Have you done this before?

Yeah.

Well, no.

I've pretended a lot.

I've never really done it.

I love being submissive.

What kind of submission are we looking at?

How far do you guys go?

Well, maybe you should go.

You have a computer?

Yes.

You should go see your website first.

Oh, what is that?

Asia Sports.

Okay.

What am I supposed to see there?

And sessions start at $300 for the hour.

If you've never done sessions before, you need to send me a $100 deposit.

$100 deposit?

Mm-hmm.

What do you mean, the $100 deposit?

For what?

If you want to make a session.

What, I'm going to get stepped on?

Can I get stepped on?

Well, you go and look at the website, because if you've never done this before,

you should familiarize yourself with what we do.

I'm familiar enough.

You don't have to worry about that, okay?

Don't get smart with me.

No, seriously, $100 deposit.

Now, can I do this cash?

Please enter your destination number.

now. What a punk.

There's another asshole for the night.

Everybody I've been calling is just an asshole.

A bunch of punks. Yeah, I'm telling you.

I'm telling you, man.

The Sunday night crowd is tough tonight.

Yeah, something. Hang on.

Well, unfortunately,

that didn't work out as planned

because at the same time,

I think Jupa's calling. Are you looking at the chat room script?

Am I? No, I'm not looking at the chat room.

I haven't looked at the chat room for a while now. Let me see what's going on.

Okay.

KDK came back on.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, yeah, see it.

Okay, well, so it is.

Excuse me.

I had to light something up there real quickly.

Okay, let me see if I got another call here.

Another number I can call.

Carlos Santana.

Let me try to call Carlos Santana.

Yeah, man, Carlos, yeah.

Yeah, I wish I had...

I don't have any Carlos Santana music.

That'd be cool if I could play something right now.

Oh, yeah, you do.

I sent you about five songs of theirs.

Of Santana?

Yeah.

Oh, you did?

Oh, that's right.

When I first...

Django...

When I first started.

...bunch of them.

Okay.

Samba Pate, right.

I know.

You know, what's...

Samba Party's good.

Hendrix.

Or Europa.

Do I really have that?

Yes, I sent you five of them, man.

I don't see them here.

Ween, Mariachi.

Yeah, they're some of the best cuts, man.

Okay, I see one here.

All right, hang on, everybody.

Let's try this.

Ah, it works.

Okay.

Oh, this is a good song.

Yeah, it is, right?

Yeah, everybody knows this one.

Let's get Carlos Santana.

Oh, you know what?

I should have got a caller.

I should have taken that.

Boy, it'd be nice if we could get Reckley to do this.

Bruno Vega.

We're in a run-down.

Hello.

How you doing there?

I'm doing terrific.

How about yourself?

That's great.

Not too bad.

Thank the Lord.

Thank you for calling.

How have you been tonight?

I'm excellent.

Good deal.

I'm smoking a cigar right now.

You ever smoke cigarettes, man?

No, that's stupid.

It is.

Well, you never try.

I've never been curious.

Just try it once.

No, because I have asthma.

Oh, yeah.

And that would kill me.

Yeah, it'll probably kill you.

You want to stay away from that.

True.

Then again, you probably don't want to live in a big city either, because that'll kill you, too, if you have asthma.

Yeah.

All right.

So, what do you got going on next week? School, huh?

What? Yeah, I got school next week.

That sucks.

But I'm also, I'm going down to Florida, too.

Oh, when's that?

Uh, like, what, uh, Thursday after this Thursday.

This Thursday, okay.

Where are you going? You going to South Florida or Central Florida? You know yet?

I'm going to Palm Beach.

Palm Beach, South Florida. Very beautiful down there.

I do a lot of work. I go there, like, once every two months.

I have to go down there for some of our vendors and my work, so.

Yeah, it's awesome. My brother lives there. He's, like, really rich.

And he has a giant house with a plasma screen TV.

Okay. All right. Good deal. Good deal. All right.

Yeah.

All right.

Are we going to make prank calls?

Yeah. You want to call, um, I don't know what this is.

Kilroy or something. I have no idea what this is.

You can try and send me.

Um, I bet you Gerald Weed won't answer.

I don't have any phone numbers right now, unless you want to try to buy something for somebody.

Let me go back to the other...

Do you want the dog calls, Carlita?

Yeah, we can have you call, try to buy a dog.

Is that a Chinese crested?

No, those are teacups.

No, what is...

It's Chinese crested.

Is that a dog?

Yeah, it's a dog.

That is a dog?

Dogs are not teacups.

Oh, I don't know.

Okay, well...

Teacup is a size.

Teacup...

Oh, the teacup size.

Oh, Jesus.

Whatever, man.

I hate...

I don't know I hate dogs, but this is...

People who are into dogs are really weird.

It's pretty expensive.

Or, if you want to call the Hooters in Phoenix,

I have that number just came in right now,

I'll confirm from Lonesome Loser if you'd like to try that.

What do you prefer?

Oh, let's call Hooters.

Let's call Hooters.

It's on.

All right, everybody, we'll be right back with the next call of the night.

It'll be the last call of the night, actually,

because I'm being informed by Starlight in the chat room that Reckless is ready to go.

So we're going to turn it over to him so I can do my chores that I have to do around here.

I've got a lot of shit to do.

But we'll get you one more call for the night.

Thank you very much for being with us.

We'll be right back.

Okay, Mom, just a second.

All right, Mom.

Say your mama said hi.

Yeah, he says hi.

He actually said that. That's funny.

Please enter your authorization code now.

Okay.

Thank you for calling Hooters at the Arizona Center.

Cindy, how can I help you?

What was that? You talk really fast.

I'm sorry, what?

I can't understand it when you talk that fast.

Please repeat what you just said.

I said thank you for calling Hooters at the Arizona Center.

This is Cindy. How can I help you?

Oh, I'm doing excellent. How about yourself?

I'm fine. Can I help you with something?

Uh, yeah.

I was just wondering, like, my girlfriend, she's, like, 12.

She's got eight cups, and she's been trying to get a job at Hooters for, like, six years.

And they said no.

And I was wondering, if you want me to come down there, I'll tell you what's what.

All right, you go ahead and do that, and then you can also write a letter to your governor

that states that you have to be 19 in Arizona to serve alcohol, and 16 just to get a job.

Okay?

You have a great night, and please don't call back.

I'm going to poop on your chest.

You're going to poop on her chest, man.

That's just, yeah.

There you go.

You got balls, man.

That's how you do it.

Yeah, I got some balls here.

I got some poop balls for you.

All right, man.

Please enter your destination number now.

Ah, shut up, woman.

Hang on.

You there?

All right, well, hey, thank you very much.

That was a great call, man.

All right, thank you.

Good night, then.

All right, you have a good night.

I'll call in to reclude or whatever.

All right, good deal.

He'll be right on, everybody.

All right, yeah, thank you.

Well, then, Milkman.

That was great.

Now, I'll get mixed up.

Now, was that Matt or Mark?

I thought that was Matt.

I thought that was Jupe.

Whoever Jupe is, that was him, I thought.

Okay.

I thought it was Jupe, but hell, they've got so many interchangeable names, you know.

Mark.

That was Mark.

Anyway.

I'm pretty sure it was Mark.

Okay.

They make good calls.

Whichever one it was, they always make good calls.

Yeah, exactly.

Well, it had to be Mark because Matt's in the chat room.

Okay.

All right.

Well, everybody, thank you very much for being with us for a quick hour, about an hour show.

show there that we did. Again, I'd like to apologize to KDK for the misunderstanding

and playing his material. There was no, this is Beck and Tendon. I hope everything is fine

and that I still have a show. I didn't mean to do that. I'm sorry and I understand if

I'm suspended. That's fine. And Milkman, you should really take the blame for it because

you sent it to me. Yeah, I did send it to KDK. I didn't realize that that was something

that wasn't to be used. So I did send the call. I edited it down to minus 3 dB.

for us saying it.

I think you owe

KDK an apology too,

Wilkman,

and, you know,

I mean,

you didn't ask for it.

I apologize.

You're a music pirate.

I'm just kidding, man.

I'm sure everything's okay.

I'll talk to him

off the air

and we'll straighten it out.

Maybe I should just

stop talking about it.

Anyway.

Well, thank you

everybody who called in.

Reclude,

Matt, Mark,

wherever that was.

Randy Dandy

for calling in also.

Am I missing anybody?

No.

I think that's all

we took today, right?

What happened to

Carlos Santana?

Never got to

But Reckless is ready to go

I really need to get that shit done

I might join in his show later

I'll call in his show or whatever later

Well thank you Milkman also for being on

Thanks a lot man

This is a blast

Thank you PCU we love you

Madman everybody out there

Dr. Lego and KDK our sponsor

It's all for you guys

Everybody listens

And everybody be sure to stay tuned

As soon as possible we'll have Reckless Sunday Night Hand Release

police in just a moment and i thank you all for joining have a great week we'll catch you here

this thursday at uh 9 15 or later bye for now well damn it i just shut the fucking music off

fuck i yeah i need uh what did the carlos santana going after me that's that's the only

song i have man we'll get with that

Madhouse Radio is live Thursday nights at 10 p.m. Eastern.

Why don't you shut the hell up?

Fuck you! Fuck you fucking piece of shit!

Be sure to visit us online at madhouselive.com.

Calls (14, 22 min of 2 h 20 min)

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