2005-10-16 Show (part 2)

The following is an exclusive of ECU Radio and MadHouseLive.com.

Smoke weed every day.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, bitches and home-ass niggas.

The weirdo is, I want everybody to put your blunts up.

You're now listening to Bizarre Solo Album, the Handicapped Circus.

And I'm your boy, Young Miles of Future.

And my man's about to get it crackin' for y'all.

The band has a new lead singer.

Hey, whoa, that was loud.

Hey, everybody, how y'all doing?

Good evening.

Thank you for tuning in to this very super special, emotional, controversial, religious Sunday night edition of the Madhouse.

With me on the line, I assume I have the dirty-ass Milkman.

Milkman, are you there?

Hey, baby, what's happening?

there, man. This is going to be

good, man. I'm all pumped.

Hopefully, we got everything we need. We got a good

phone card. Thank you very much, Milkman.

I got plenty more. I got two more, so we

got plenty, yeah. Awesome, awesome.

We got that going. What else? Lonesome Losers

in the chat room, as always. Thank you very much,

Mr. Lonesome. Yeah, baby.

How can we do it without him?

He's our man. I don't know.

PC will be at a huge disadvantage

without Lonesome Loser, that's for sure.

And you know what? I got to turn down the TV.

The TV's on.

He's a trooper.

I mean, he is our ground trooper, our man in the trenches.

That's true.

Yeah, yeah.

I don't know how we do what we do without him, you know,

because he comes through with such quality numbers.

And thank you very much as always.

Exactly, man.

Thank you.

And everybody else out there, thank you very much for listening.

Pretty good numbers out there as far as listeners are concerned.

So I thank you all for joining in.

A little bit of Mary Jane here for you all.

I spark up what's left of my marijuana stash,

and I think I'm going to quit after what I have left, Milkman.

It might be time to quit.

Oh, no.

Yeah, I'm going to start smoking crack, I think.

No, my sources for weed have gone away.

He's gotten in trouble with the law and his brother,

and he started sleeping with his mother-in-law,

who's about five years older than him.

Oh.

Yeah.

So his dad marked him out to the cops

that he's dealing,

so he's all scared.

I don't want to go through the trouble

of finding someone else.

Oh.

I think it might be time to meet a friend.

Yeah, I hear you.

Yeah, and I can buy alcohol still,

so I think I'll do drunk shows from now on.

Since KDK looks like he might be

stopping that for some while,

which I applaud him.

I applaud him for going on the wagon.

He did a sober show last night

and it was actually a really good show.

He's always worried,

but you know what?

That's how I see it.

It was a great show.

Yeah, I get worried about, you know,

Not being able to get high, but I'll probably do good.

I think that music's too loud.

I don't know.

Actually, you'll get over the shock after the first couple weeks to couple months

if you stay with it that long.

And after that, you know, you're like, oh, well.

Yeah, well, I did four months about this time last year

all the way up until Christmas Eve.

And then I got into issues with my ex-girlfriend.

We broke up at that point.

Shit started going crazy around me,

And I fell off the wagon

And I started smoking again

So here's to saying

Weed free again

You can do it

I've got enough for two nights left

Tonight and tomorrow

I might save that last day's worth

For next Thursday

Do my last show

There you go

Well man

When I laid off man

I couldn't get down past

The last half a joint

Ever much or two

Really

So finally when I gave up

Man that's the level I was at

And then

It's been 11 years man

Since I had

Doing the cotton job

Hey good for you man

I've been a good boy, though.

You've been a good boy.

Well, you deserve it.

You deserve it.

I spent so many thousands of dollars growing up.

Oh, God.

I can't even imagine how much I spent on weed.

And, wow, I started smoking.

Oh, my God.

Excuse me.

I started smoking like in 2000.

So I'm thinking in the last five years, I probably spent a lot more.

Oh, really?

2000?

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah.

You don't want to hear when I started.

Oh, yeah.

Let's not get into that.

Right before you was born, son.

Back then, as you see in that movie, Half-Baked Back,

Back when you started smoking, a nickel bag cost a nickel, right?

Is that how it was?

No.

Oh, yeah.

It cost a nickel.

It actually cost less.

You could buy the whole ounce for $15.

Oh, my God.

$15 for a line.

Yeah, and you'd fold the sack over the top.

If it didn't fold all the way over the top, then that was full.

Really?

Yeah.

So what was a lid back then?

A lid, right?

Wasn't that...

Just a lid is just whatever you normally get it at.

If it's an OZ, if you're scoring OZs normally, then that's your lid.

Oh, okay.

I thought a lid was an actual amount of weight.

People, as time went on, back at first, no, no, no, it varies on what your regular amount would be.

Okay, oh, okay.

But back in the day, you know, OZs was the way to do it.

Actually, two OZs was your lid, because you got two OZs for 30.

Yeah, okay.

OZ, ounces.

Oh, okay, I see what you're saying.

I was like, this whole time, I've been like, what the hell is an OZ?

This whole time, I was thinking, anyway, well, that's cool.

Yeah, well, that's, I don't even think about it.

that's my old um old lingo back from my head days in 1917 you know uh-huh see um you know since since

i've since i've actually stopped now i have to let you hear what i really have sound like now

this is this is my uh impersonation voice of of a normal person but this is what i really sound

like since i had to quit carlito is that what did it huh this is what the milkman has to do now

Yeah, I normally ride around on a rascal scooter.

Rascal scooter.

Oh, man.

All right, well, hey, Nunu says that it's time to do pranks.

He's also saying that you started smoking in 1923, so explain that.

That's very correct.

I was born in 1917.

I was a young boy.

Yeah, all right, well.

Grandpa started the brownies when I was a young Amish lad.

Where's my, you know.

yeah i had a gun yeah i'm sorry i'm sorry it's just i have to i have to take control sometimes

so yeah all right let me um let me as noon is clamoring let me get started with a prank call

here yeah let's see what we got that up boy let's set it off let's shout out real quick dtt uh the

deads in the house got brandon vegas boom me lifey all our buddies out there welcome welcome

Welcome. It's going to be a good ride.

Thank you very much.

Thank you. Thank you for joining us.

We've got numbers for James Conman.

Of course, the lonesome.

Lonesome is right.

Yeah, of course, the lonesome.

We've got numbers for James Conman, Alfonso Crook.

I've already called Alfonso Crook.

That's one of my calls that I have.

I got Moa Fak Puta, Phil Puta, Sharika Puta, Janina Puto, and Nika Moles.

Nika Moles. Interesting.

Well, that's funny.

A Latina woman answered at 9-16 at the name of Janina Puto.

Puto meaning a male bitch.

You call someone a puto, you're pretty much telling them off.

That's a big Mexican thing.

They call people putos and stuff like that.

No.

You're looking to get your ass kicked.

Yeah, you call someone a puto, you're looking to get into trouble in Mexico.

Or in California, Southern California.

Yeah, those are fine words.

Bear with me.

I'm just setting everything up.

Cabron.

own i i started the show about 10 minutes after walking in the door with a handful of groceries

and running all over the place today and sunday i never rest so um that's why i'm playing music

now while i get everything set up audio wise and phone i gotta connect the phone and i gotta go

grab my beer out the fridge and uh let me get this here set up right quick hang on there we go

you can't have a show without applause you know oh yeah man see we've got our audience here

our in-studio audience exactly i had to make sure that was working and close that all out there

put that on the bottom of the screen so i can click on that whenever i need to

actually i gotta change that but we're almost there hang on everybody we'll start up in just

a second what's going on with you milkman how was yours weekend man it's been a pretty good

weekend except for my isp god darn there's been a like a depression a tropical depression that's

been passing through here in rain for about almost a month straight and man my isp has

been getting like major gas problems flatulating big time i'm sitting there you know in the middle

of a connection that thing takes a fart and heck i might i might be off for a minute i might be off

for hours and my connect speeds down to about 25 percent of what it should be that sucks

bullshit right there man i'm sorry well let me try to so if i get smacked out just you know i'll

be back as soon as i can man something happens to me yeah so then have us just message me and

We'll get you on

Okay

Well let's

Let's call

Janina Puto

It is 9.36

We'll be right back

With the first call tonight

You're listening to

The Madhouse Special Edition

On Sunday

Hello

Buenas tardes

How are you?

Hello

May you speak to

Speak to me bitch

Hey can you help me out?

I need some pussy man

I'm looking for some pussy man

Some pussy man

You got some pussy man

I speak English.

What do you speak, man?

Spanish.

You speak Espanol?

No.

And what do you speak, you stupid Mexican?

What do you speak?

Italian.

Italian?

You speak Italian?

You speak French?

What are you?

Hey, puto.

Cock, goddammit.

I don't speak any Spanish.

He doesn't speak any.

He knows what's up.

He knows he's going to get pranked.

He knows.

He knew it was coming.

Yeah, exactly.

Opening up with puto.

Yeah, right.

That's what they get for opening up.

It's a pussy.

Yeah, you want some pussy, man.

That's what they get for doing it.

All right.

Lead him in, man.

Yeah.

All right.

Well, we got Muwafak Puta.

Muwafak Puta.

Miss Puta?

No, she's not here.

Who am I speaking with, then?

I'm her niece.

Who's this?

God damn it.

Look here.

This is Chirico.

And I want to understand what's the whole thing with the advertisement here in the phone book with the puta, man.

Okay.

Well, you know what that means.

I'm looking for my son.

Well, excuse me, it's a last name.

It has nothing to do with that word, okay?

Don't you fucking yell at me.

What do you think you're talking like that to me for, huh?

Who do you think yourself is?

Some butas, the one I'm talking to.

Bitch, I'm the niece.

I know who you are.

Well, excuse me, so don't call here again, or I'll let you down.

Oh, I'm so afraid.

Well, fuck you.

Fuck you, fuck your mother, fuck your aunt, you fucking bitch.

bitch. Come on. Come on. Bring it up.

Come on. What, you got a problem? You want to go

toe-to-toe to me? You don't want to answer my

problem? Please enter your destination

number now.

Uppity bitch.

That was good.

What the fuck's her problem?

That's not the word.

Anyway, so yeah, Sean Ward is not on

tonight. Sean Ward is not on.

The warden. Where the heck is our warden?

He's filming some TV shows

or something. I don't know.

Oh, yes.

He is?

Yeah.

Ooh.

We've got a cross-platformer here.

Yep.

He's moving up, so he's doing some kind of show or something.

He's recording, so he's not going to be in this week.

Okay.

He'll probably be in like at midnight, I think, according to...

You don't ever go to the forums, do you?

Sometimes I do.

Not a lot.

Not lately, since all the crap's been going on.

I haven't really been over there.

I've been having some trouble with my PC.

And then last week, I had that incident where I got caught in the milking machine.

Now my fingers have completely grown back on.

Oh, well, that sucks.

All right, well, keep on trucking.

That's what they say.

Exactly.

Well, thank you, Lonesome, for coming through with that number.

And that kind of worked out.

I'm still waiting on him to come through with some more.

I'm sure he will in a second.

He works very hard over there.

Let's see what else I can do here.

I'm not going to stay on too long, actually.

I'm not going to stay on too long.

I might do a little bit after 10, 15, 10.30 or something like that.

Maybe a half hour, 45 minutes.

And I was just trying to do a little something for everybody out there.

There's a lot of people listening right now, so.

Yeah, let's do it.

Trying to get my prank on.

And I'm offering it up to anybody else who wants to go on.

I know it doesn't look like Reclude's on, but I know Zolar is jumping in,

and he might want to do a show.

Okay, cool.

Yeah, maybe a repeat of the whole super all-star show we had a few weeks ago.

Maybe he'll like to do it.

Yeah, I've told him, and he's come across, and he's having computer problems.

So let me see, actually.

Uh-oh.

He hasn't said anything.

He's working on it.

So maybe he'll be on.

Maybe not.

We'll see.

Randy Dandy saying that someone is in

Is in the chat room with his name

Huh

Not NPC

I don't know what he's

He says someone's in his name in the chat but not

I don't see him even on any of the servers

It's only coming back with just his name

Yeah well he's in

He's Randy Dandy too

I guess that's it

Yeah

I don't know

It's not

I just checked

He's not on any server

Anywhere on the server other than here

Yeah exactly

Exactly well

Well anyway yeah

I'll keep you posted if Zolark

Gives me a message

If he's going to be on or not

I'll let you all know what's going on with that.

Let me actually send him a text message.

And I am real quick.

Are you interested in going...

Randy Dandy, you ought to go ahead and do a Nick change now

because I don't see you anywhere with PCU.

Yeah, I see, like I said, I see a Randy Dandy, too.

I don't know if that's him or what.

That's it.

That's it? All right.

That's him.

Okay, yeah, so yeah.

So change your Nick, man.

And yeah, you're supposed to...

And register it.

I'm putting you as an op.

I already got permission to do that yesterday.

So, yeah, and Madman's confirming there's no such lazy Nick Chanton,

no such person under that name.

So he's, Randy's just changed his name.

Okay, so Randy's okay.

He put a symbol at the end of his shit.

There he goes.

There you go, Randy.

Randy figured it out.

Good work, Randy.

Congratulations.

Yeah, he's a good type.

There you go.

All right.

There you go.

Okay, let's do another call.

Let's see what I got working.

Everybody, if you have any calls, any numbers you want to submit to me,

now would be the time.

AOL Instant Messenger, Madhouse Radio.

Again, AOL, Instant Messenger, Madhouse Radio, Yahoo Messenger, Madhouse, PCU Radio,

and MSN is MadhousePCURadio at Hotmail.com.

Google Talk is Madhouse Radio, which nobody talks to me at, so, eh, whatever.

Except for Milkman.

Milkman's the only person that talks to me on there.

Yeah, man.

Hey, how's Trillium working for you, Trillium Pro?

We got the hook up with that.

Hey, I've got to do a big shout-out to my brother, Boone.

Oh, man.

Yeah, man, Boone got us set up, man, with the Trillium Pro.

And this thing is mad, mad.

I mean, it does so much stuff, dude.

What does it do other than what the basic does?

Well, okay, it's got two other services.

Actually, if you've got your own home network, let's say you've got computers in your house,

you can create your own messaging program right in the house, like from computer to computer.

Oh, sweet.

Yeah, that's the Rendezvous.

And then there's another one called Jabber.

I don't know who all use it.

I think GE Talk, Google's using a version of Jabber, but I haven't figured out which one it is.

Okay.

But other people that are using Jabber, you can also now enter there.

Well, Jabber is Google Talk, right, I believe?

Yeah.

I think so.

But I've got to find a server name, and once I get the server name, then I'll be on there with that.

Oh, I've got instructions.

I know how.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, I'll send you a link after the show.

Yeah, yeah, cool.

Send them over, man.

And then the logging is, like, incredibly crazy, man.

I mean, it's so detailed.

It gives you a time scale, the amount, the duration.

You can search by name, by word.

You know, it completely logs everything.

And also it shows all your icons now of all your people in the main window.

It's really cool, man.

Oh, cool.

That's cool.

I like that.

Yeah.

I like that very much.

All right, I'm going to have to do that as well after the show.

I'm just behind on the show.

Yeah, that's all right, man.

We'll get you set up, man.

You get a few minutes.

It's not that big a deal.

Yeah, okay.

Good deal.

Well, we'll do that.

All right, let's do another call real quick for everybody.

Try to get in as many as I can here while I have time.

James Conman in Michigan.

Let's go ahead and give him a call.

I wonder if he was on that Con Air flight.

I don't know.

Con Air in the movie.

In the movie.

Great movie.

Yeah, well, is this maybe the guy that I called asking him if, yeah, I think I already talked to this dude.

Oh, I don't know.

I think I called him once asking him if he gets pulled over a lot with his last name.

Yeah, I don't know.

Oh, hey, look at this.

We've got Melvin Reaper just came in.

Melvin Reaper, some foreign-sounding old lady who answered about six minutes ago.

And that's from Lonesome.

So we're going to go ahead and try that then.

Give me one moment here.

And we'll get that in the line.

Thank you, everybody.

Be right back with the next call.

All right.

Peace.

Hello.

How are you?

I'm fine.

This is Sundy.

What are you calling for?

Well, I'm looking for Mr. Reaper.

We need him to come in tomorrow.

Tomorrow, we're going to be filming some stuff for Halloween, and we need the Reaper to come down.

We heard he's very grim tonight.

To who?

Well, we're filming some Halloween specials, and down here at the local station here at Arlington at the NBC affiliate,

we're going to be having people with Halloween-like last names.

And Mr. Reaper is top of our list, and he's eligible for a trip to Disney World,

and $5,000 courtesy of the Big White Grocery Store.

Oh.

We think he could be here about 6 a.m. here at the NBC station.

We'll put him on, and we're going to have women who will give him a massage and everything.

I do.

Thanks, Bill.

Well, what's wrong?

Is it the massage?

Well, give me your name and who you're calling from.

Well, my name is Jack Valenti.

Yes.

You need me to spell that for you?

I also want to know who you work for.

I work for the NBC station here in Arlington.

What NBC station?

NBC, Channel 12.

I didn't know they had one here.

Well, now you do.

Is there a problem with NBC?

I have no idea.

I've never seen it.

democrat go to church today did you well no just sit there go go go i command you to speak

mickle melvin please damn it woman i know you're there send the news chopper over top of her house

yeah yeah we're gonna send the news chopper over top of your house all right bitch well i'm gonna

hang up then good bitch bitch you're the chopper yeah i used to have a chopper sound effect but i

don't have it anymore i lost the bitch oh shit she just didn't want to talk either yeah she's

no fun where was she at that grouchy old bag yeah you know i need to come up with um with

with better fake names, because I keep using Jack Valenti.

Well, Jack Valenti is a good name, though, man.

Do you think it's a good one?

I've got some numbers here I'm sending you that are coming in, too, man.

All right, cool, cool.

Send those on in.

Some dedicated numbers here.

Good deal.

Send them on in.

We'll do that.

I've got an Alexandru Jiga in California who answered.

A lady answered there.

That number, 945, about six minutes ago.

It came from Lonesome Mozo.

I've got your numbers coming in.

If you want to send in anything else to us here at the Madhouse, through the chat room, you can do that.

Visit kdkprankcalls.com.

You can reach us and send us anything you'd like.

Let's see what's up to Reclude, who I see has joined the chat room as well.

He sent in a bunch.

Oh, he did?

Okay, good.

Good, Reclude.

Hey, Reclude, by the way, if you feel like, if you feel up to it, I'll be going off the air at about 10.30 and about a half hour or so from now.

So if you want to take over after that, or Zola wants to take over, or KDK wants to take over,

or anybody out there wants to take over, by all means do so.

And welcome to NiggaSolaBike, who's also in the chat room now, of course.

All righty.

Well, let me continue moving on.

And did you send me those numbers yet, or am I waiting on you still?

Yeah, I sent one a name.

That first set there, that's a new name.

All right, let me get that a name.

There it is.

No, it's not.

There it is.

I don't have it.

You give a little bio on it.

I don't have it from you.

Let me see if Reclude, no, Reclude hasn't sent it yet.

I don't know.

Are you sure you sent it?

I don't have it.

I don't know.

Yeah.

I'll send it again.

Yeah, it says you signed off, actually, off of AIM.

I'm off AIM?

Yeah, it says you're signed off, yeah.

All right.

Dude, I'm on live.

Yeah, okay.

That's okay.

In the meantime, you get that working, we'll call Mr. Jigga real quick.

Got to get the right Jigga music here before moving forward.

What do I have for Jigga?

Jigga.

I'll just send him to you here on Google Talk if you have a problem.

Okay, all right, go for it.

All right, we'll be right back, everybody, with the next call.

It is now 9.53.

You're listening to The Madhouse on PC Radio.

Turn the music up in the headphones.

How you doing?

Good evening.

What's with the echo?

Who?

What's with the damn echo?

Who?

First of all, lower your voice, okay?

Why are you talking so loud?

What's the matter with you?

You listening to me?

No.

What do you mean, no?

Why are you saying no, then?

I don't know who is you.

I don't know who is you, you stupid liar.

Nah.

Can I speak with Jigga, please?

Jigga.

Can I speak with Jigga?

Hello.

He's not here.

Who is this?

Is this Miss Jigga?

Yeah.

Jigga.

Jigga, Jigga.

Jigga who?

Jigga what?

Hello?

Yeah.

Jigga who?

I don't know who.

Jigga what?

I guess she doesn't understand that.

That was kind of stupid.

Goddamn calls aren't working tonight.

This is what I get for trying to do a great, super special edition show.

No, it's a bunch of crap because it's no good.

Damn it, man.

Crap, crap, crap on the hand stick.

All right, let's see what else is going on.

Someone get a hold of Reclude.

Reclude, give me a call.

Anybody else give me a call.

You can call the toll-free line.

It's open.

Yeah, man.

888-278-8509.

Again, the toll-free line here is 888-278-8509.

Yeah, Reclude, by all means, give me a call here.

I don't think you're logged in to AIM.

That's what it is.

I'm not logged in to AIM.

No, it shows you're not logged in.

I'm going to send this to Google.

Yeah, send it to Google.

That's weird.

Your dot's closed.

That's why I couldn't send it to you.

That's why I couldn't figure it out.

Okay.

That's new and new, and here's a shitload I'm going to be coming from Reclude.

All right, cool.

Reclude's going mad with the numbers.

All right, cool, cool, cool, cool.

See, that's a good sign.

Reclude should go on, I think.

Reclude should let me do my thing for a little bit, and then he should go on.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, Reklut follows up with the freaking double gang tag team on this night.

This will be a good one, man.

Policemen will really get a benefit.

Yeah, the guy there, in truth, is I'm trying to, I got some stuff I got to do here in the apartment,

and maybe some TV to watch or something.

But I'm doing something for you all right now, and Reklut will take over,

and I can even join Reklut on the gizmo.

Or Milkman, you're welcome to help him out, too.

Just, you know, do your thing like you do a lot.

Oh, yeah, man, I'm always up, man.

Y'all just let me know.

Yeah, I'm always happy.

That I'll play real quickly

One song as I hit the bathroom

And

Uh

Take a whiz real quick

And then we'll start the show

Uh

Back with that call for Nunu

Uh

Before it gets too late for him

Cause over there it's like what

Three in the morning

Or two

I don't know

What the hell

What the hell's going on over there

Uh

But you know

I don't know what this is

I don't know what the fuck I'm playing

I'm not

I'm not prepared

What's up there fuckers

Hey

What's up bitch

How you doing there

Recluse

Hey, not bad, man.

Let's make some, let's, let's, let's insult some people.

All right.

Doesn't it always feel to insult people?

This makes my.

Oh, yeah.

It gets me ready to go into work.

That's what I say.

Oh, yeah.

What do you work at again?

Um, I don't, I don't work at, I breed champion horses, man.

You know that.

No, I don't.

I work, I work at an office and we do, we translate shit and we, I don't know.

It's, it's a weird place.

It's like a law firm kind of thing, but they do a lot of office stuff.

Like fucking deadbeat, like wetback languages or?

Wetback languages, Chinaman languages, Arab languages.

That's good for you.

Good for you.

Speak the white man's language.

That's great.

That's right.

Well, I'm supporting the white man myself.

You want to call this dude who's selling a Bichon Frise?

This is your number.

We can call this John Calvert, actually, for noon, if you want.

Yeah, that's good.

I called him last week.

Yeah, we'll call him again.

All right, cool.

All right, good deal.

I've never called him, but we can try that.

Yeah, his plan is we should call and tell him he's on a holiday to the Galapagos Islands.

No, you know what's funny?

I called him last week.

I told him about the theory of hand release.

Okay.

All right.

That sounds good.

Did you really?

What was his...

He got real pissed at me.

He said, what is your motive of calling?

Are you just some sick bastard or some shit?

I can't remember what he said.

Well, he's the one with all the answers.

He should know.

I know.

He knows everything.

Exactly.

Call that fucker.

All right.

Well, hey, let's do that right now.

We'll be right back, everybody.

Reckless on the line.

Hey, Reckless.

Well, are you interested in picking up after me here?

I can't stay on for much longer.

Yeah, I'm going to go check.

I haven't even fucking tried out my new audio setup past, like, going online.

But let me just, yeah, give me, like, about 15 minutes, and I'll work it out for you.

Okay, cool, cool.

Well, you let me know when you're ready to go on, and I'll try to see if I can stay on that long

so you don't lose any listeners.

We've got a pretty good number right now, so you should.

Oh, shit, yeah.

Right after this call, I'll go fucking get ready then.

Awesome.

All right, dude.

All right, well, hang on, everybody.

We'll be right back with Reckloot in just one moment.

No problem.

I got to call this number.

Hello, this is the ID net.

Please leave a message at the beep.

Yeah, you fucks.

You like that evolution, do you?

You're going to hell!

I got your evolution right here.

Yeah, and release.

Yeah.

They're bobbing their ass whooping.

Yeah, exactly.

My, my.

Oh, wait a minute.

No, no, no.

You're the guy that...

Wait a minute.

What?

I think we got this fucked up.

Now, this is the guy...

Does he like it or no?

He doesn't like it.

Okay, you're on our side, buddy.

You're on our side.

We got oral for you.

No, no, he likes, oh yeah, that's right, okay, yeah, we, yeah, we like this guy.

Alright, yeah, we like you, John Calvary.

Okay, we got all an anal for you, what do you want?

Yeah, what do you, yeah, however you want it, we'll hook it up for you.

Up, you want a fucking tossed salad, you dirty fuck, nah, wait, you know, you're on our side.

Yeah.

I'm sorry, man.

We're gonna take it out of school as they're polluting minds with all that fucking evolution.

Yeah, it's been a bit of a...

Get right on, you fuck, you...

Plankmaster's gonna own your ass.

Hang on, Reckless, I might lose you here, hang on, alright?

No, no, it's not Reckless, it's Plankmaster.

Oh, yeah, Prankmaster. I made this up.

This is on your recording.

What are you doing in me piece?

Henry!

You know, they say Prankmaster's innocent now. That's the whole consensus.

Oh, fuck that fat fucking guitar-playing bitch, Psyche.

He plays guitar. Oh, that bitch, yeah, exactly, yeah.

God-mother-fucking-bitch. Here's what the deal is, all right?

The bitch was fucking at a ham up her ass, and her husband was talking,

and then Zolar mentions the Howard Stern show,

and then she's like, oh, oh, okay, she's awake.

Exactly, yeah.

Look at what you're bossing the media on.

Please enter your destination number now.

I can go with that.

All right, Greg Lula, thank you very much for trying.

Let me get off of here.

I'll get prepared.

It'll take me a bit.

Yeah, it's fine.

Don't even worry about it.

I mean, if you've got to go to bed, go to bed.

I'll pick up when I can.

Will you please try your call again later?

All right, cool.

Good news.

All right, thank you.

This is a recording.

You're on the madhouse, Matt.

Hey, just hang up.

Someone else calling in, but now they're no longer there.

I think I know who it was.

I'm not sure.

I think it was Randy Dandy who was calling in.

So, Randy, if that was you calling in or anybody else, whoever was calling in,

free for a little call back, that's 1-888-278-8509.

You can be here.

And I guess we have confirmation.

Reklud's going to try to go on after I leave at 10.30.

And what's all this then?

I don't know what that is.

Someone said something weird in the chat room.

Okay, Chinese Crescent Teacups.

Ooh, look at that.

Yeah, Reclude's got this thing where he's been finding, like, ads for pets or missing pets

or people selling pets and calling and fucking with them like that, using that as a reason to call them.

Okay.

All right, this one, I guess they're selling them?

Yeah.

Yeah, this one must be selling.

I just remember hearing him say him.

He didn't explain it to me, but I know that was his concept, so that's what I'm seeing here.

Okay.

These are dogs.

Okay, that's a cool concept.

All right, well, hang on.

Let's try one of those, and we're going to try to buy a dog.

They're not there.

A bunch of bastards.

Okay, you see the one that I just sent you?

There's Steven Tyler's dad.

Is that for real?

Uh, that's what it says.

That'd be cool if that's for real.

Hell yeah, man.

What's up?

Yeah, someone was calling in.

Steven Tyler.

I don't know what to tell Steven Tyler's dad.

Oh, no, you should.

I'm going to ask him his big ass.

I'm going to buy an earthquake.

I'm going to ask him his big ass list.

Randy Danny says you won't answer your phone.

That's Randy Danny that was calling.

Well, yeah, because I was in the middle of a prank call.

I was in the middle of a prank call.

That's why.

Yeah, that's right.

Well, he's on delay, so I figured he'd figure this out shortly.

He'll figure it out, and he can call back, and we'll put him on for sure.

Let me try to call Steven Tyler's dad.

Hang on, everybody.

We'll be right back.

Hell yeah.

You on the bat, Al?

What's up, homie?

What up, dawg?

How you doing?

I'm down from the streets being my friends from Compton.

All right, girlfriend.

That's nice.

Yeah.

Me and my nothing much.

How you doing, Randy?

It's good to hear from you.

It's been a while since you've called in.

I'm just doing fine and dandy.

All right.

Well, hence the name, Randy Dandy, huh?

Yeah.

Yeah, that actually works out pretty nice.

Exactly.

So your cards lose.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Yeah, well, then now I'm going to cheer for the White Sox.

I think the White Sox are going to pull it off, I'm pretty sure.

So you're choosing to root for the White Sox in spite of what happened then, right?

Yeah, but I'll never root for the Cubs.

Okay, well, that's fine.

Andy's not here.

I'm not a baseball fan at all.

I watch it and everything, but baseball, me, it's, I don't know,

I'm more of a football, NBA kind of guy myself.

So, too much standing around in baseball for me, you know what I mean?

Yeah, I watch, like, college basketball.

Yeah, I can't get into college basketball.

There's just so many teams.

It's hard to get into it, man.

Oh, yeah, that gets confusing unless you get into one division.

Yeah, you know, yeah, I think that's what I've got to do.

I've got to pick a division to stick to.

I might do that here soon.

But, anyway, so how are you feeling?

Are you feeling up to a prank call, or are you feeling up to just calling and shooting the shit?

I'll do a call.

Oh, I have school tomorrow, so I'm in the mood to do one.

Look what I got.

I've got Bozo.

That's the name, Bozo, in California.

Some weird guy answered a 955 and lonesome called with a strange accent.

He called him, and he was blowing a clown horn into the phone.

So that sounds like a trip.

You've got to, like, ask this guy to come to your party or something.

You know what I mean?

Something's got to go with this guy.

Hey, hey, did you manage to hear that one lady last night kneeling?

I've got it.

The one that I knew?

Yeah, I've got a copy of it here.

Oh, my God, that lady was hilarious.

Yeah, I'll play that.

I'll play that here before I go, for sure.

And I'll try to play that in between the time rec Luke goes on.

So, yeah, no problem.

Yeah, we'll play that.

So if you can, stay up for that.

We'll play it for you.

Did you understand a word she was saying?

I understand some Milkman.

Milkman understands that stuff.

That's Patois.

Isn't that Milkman?

It was actually a little bit of Patois, but it was a lot of Jamaican.

Yeah, I can't hear him.

She was really laying out some serious cussing.

She was asking, like, you know, who the hell are you?

I'll try.

He can't hear me, so I'll tell you later.

Okay, tell me later.

So let me get you on with Bozo, the clown.

I don't know if it's the clown, but his name is Bozo, at least, and he seems to be weird.

So we'll put him on with you.

All right.

Hang on, everybody.

Our guest caller, Brad.

Could you come to my birthday, my bar mitzvah?

I think you got the wrong number.

I heard that my friend called you up, and he said that they were honking horns, and

I have no idea, but I want a birthday party bad.

Well, good luck. Goodbye.

What am I going to have to do? Call Mr. Rogers?

Damn it.

What an asshole. I know, right?

What are you going to do? Call Mr. Rogers?

He doesn't do appearances. He's dead.

Please enter your destination number now.

You want to try calling Dick Dick?

Dick Dick?

Yeah.

Balance will allow you to talk for two hours, thirty-one minutes, twenty-nine seconds.

Dick Dick in California.

She's on to us. I think she got the call from Lonesome and just had her disconnect.

I was actually expecting like a guy with a weird voice to answer the bows at one.

Yeah, I was hoping for that, like who, I don't know, like a Crushing the Clown kind

of guy sounding guy.

That would be great.

Yeah, I was going to go.

That's why I started with the bar mitzvah thing.

Yeah, that would be great.

Exactly.

You just have to tell me.

You have to be kosher, no matter what.

You want to try one more here before I let you go?

I got an Arlene and a Gerald Weed.

Sure.

Let's see if we can get any luck out of this.

Okay.

Third time's a charm.

we'll be right back everybody uh arlene and gerald hello you're about i just these

people man a bunch of assholes back and i'm like let's be listening to your destination number

now let's try them again your current balance will allow you to talk for 30 minutes 29 seconds

okay i'll do the three we missed you call us on yourself you hang on

Hey Joe, how's it going? I was trying to sell you some Girl Scout cookies, but it seems like you hung up on me.

As you can tell, I have a real testosterone voice, and I'm obviously in the Girl Scouts.

So call me back at 261-050.

Hi, and I love you. You're sexy.

Yeah. Oh, babe.

Well, there's no luck tonight.

There's no luck tonight, no? I'll try. I got these 12 extra minutes here to see what's up. Yeah, what's up?

Do you know what show, uh, Sean Ward's on tonight?

Um, he's not on a, I don't think he's on a show.

He's doing something.

Let me go to the forum.

I'll tell you real quick here.

He's doing something.

I'll tell you real quick.

Um, do-do-do-do-do-do.

Where is he up here?

His name is Sean Ward.

He's over here.

Show of Conflictions, he says he is on Ed's Night Party.

Does that make any sense?

Oh, they must have re-invited him because he was already on that show.

He was in the hot tub.

Yeah, they're taping four episodes tonight.

They taped three last night, I guess.

I'd hate to be the guy who's a puppet.

What is this show?

Is it a comedy sketch show or something?

What I've heard is it's...

Actually, I think there's a clip in the forum somewhere.

Oh, really?

It's still there.

But it's like a show, and it has this funny-looking puppet guy, and he's the host of the show.

Okay.

And it has this other woman, and she's the co-host.

And they have this one part, and it's called the hot tub part.

And all these hot women gather around the hot tub guests.

Okay.

And the last time Sean was on, he was a hot tub guest.

Okay, that's crazy.

Wow, that sounds fun.

Good for Sean Ward.

That's like moving up, man.

That's where I want to be in about a year.

So is that Canada?

I guess that's Canada only.

Yeah, that's on, I think it's City TV.

City TV.

City TV?

Yeah, I don't live there.

City TV is the one that plays porno out there too, right?

Late at night or something like that?

Yeah, I think at night.

That's what Izzy says.

Okay.

Well, all right, man.

That works.

You're in Illinois, but okay, but Izzy.

So what's up with Izzy too, man?

I haven't heard about him in a while.

He's had a disappearance.

I guess he's too busy with his so-called girlfriend.

You should see what he looks like, though.

I doubt he has that many.

Really?

Or he just...

He might, if girls in Toronto or wherever he lives are that easy,

then I want to move there.

But he kind of...

Unless he's like my one friend who stalks,

then the girls hate him.

But I doubt that's busy.

I wouldn't know.

All right, well, see ya.

Well, good luck with the rest of the night and later.

Yeah, I'll do a few more minutes

and i'll hand it over to somebody else hopefully regular if not i don't know what i hope i hope a

real good call comes out of this i hope so i hope so if not then we had no luck in the yeah well if

not then it gives people something to listen to instead of just recorded shit so here we go all

right man well thanks for calling man later okay that's randy dandy everybody thank you very much

mr dandy for calling in yeah how you doing there hi is this the asian hello yes hello is this an

The Asian Femdom?

Yeah.

Great.

I'm interested.

Okay.

Well, talk me out.

What's going on?

How'd you get her number?

I got it here.

A friend of a friend sent it to me.

My friend, Mr. Kim, sent it to me.

Okay.

Have you done this before?

Yeah.

Well, no.

I've pretended a lot.

I've never really done it.

I love being submissive.

And what kind of submission are we looking at?

How far do you guys go?

Well, maybe you should go.

You have a computer?

Yes.

You should go see your website first.

Oh, what is that?

To Asia Sports.

What am I supposed to see there?

A session started, $300 for the hour.

If you've never done sessions before, you need to send me a $100 deposit.

$100 deposit?

Mm-hmm.

What do you mean, a $100 deposit?

For what?

If you want to make a session.

What, I'm going to get stepped on?

Can I get stepped on?

Well, you go and look at the website, because if you've never done this before,

you should familiarize yourself with what we do.

I'm familiar enough.

You don't have to worry about that, okay?

Don't get smart with me.

No, seriously, $100 deposit.

Now, can I do this cash?

Please enter your destination number now.

What a punk.

There's another asshole for the night.

Everybody I've been calling is just an asshole.

A bunch of punks.

Yeah, I'm telling you.

Yeah, I'm telling you, man.

The Sunday night crowd is tough tonight.

Yeah, something.

Hang on.

Well, unfortunately, that didn't work out as planned.

Because at the same time, I think Joop was talking.

Are you looking at the chat room script?

Am I?

No, I'm not looking at the chat room.

I haven't looked at the chat room for a while now.

Let me see what's going on.

Okay.

Oh, okay.

Scroll up to where KDK came back on.

Okay, yeah, see it.

Okay, well, so it is.

Hang on, excuse me.

I've got to light something up there real quickly.

Okay, let me see if I've got another call here, another number I can call.

Carlos Santana.

Let me try to call Carlos Santana.

Yeah, man, Carlos, yeah.

Yeah, I wish I had.

I don't have any Carlos Santana music.

That would be cool if I could play something right now.

Oh, yeah, you do.

I sent you about five songs of theirs.

Of Santana?

Yeah.

Oh, you did?

Oh, that's right.

When I first started.

Bingo, um...

When I first started.

Bunch of them.

Okay.

Samba Patee, right.

I know, what's...

Samba Patee's good.

Hendrix.

Or Europa.

Do I really have that?

Yes, I sent you five of them, man.

I don't see them here.

Ween, Mariachi.

Yeah, they were some of the best cuts, man.

Uh, okay, I see one here.

All right, hang on, everybody.

Let's try this.

Ah, it works.

Okay.

Oh, this is a good song.

Yeah, it is, right?

Yeah, everybody knows this one.

Let's get Carlos Anto.

Oh, you know what?

I should get a caller.

I'd take that.

Boy, it'd be nice if we could get Reckley to do this. Bruno Vega.

You're in the rent house.

Hello.

How you doing there?

I'm doing terrific. How about yourself?

That's great. Not too bad. Thank the Lord. Thank the Lord. Thank you for calling. How you been tonight?

I'm excellent.

Good deal. I'm smoking a cigar right now.

Oh, wait.

You ever smoke cigarettes, man?

No, that's stupid.

It is. Well, you never tried. Never been curious. Just try it once.

No, because I have asthma.

Oh, yeah.

And that would kill me.

Yeah, it'll probably kill you. You want to stay away from that. True.

True, true. Then again, you probably don't want to live in a big city either, because that'll kill you, too, if you have asthma.

Yeah.

All right.

So what do you got going on next week? School, huh?

What? Yeah, I got school next week.

That sucks.

But I'm also, I'm going down to Florida, too.

Oh, when's that?

Uh, like, what, Thursday after this Thursday.

This Thursday, okay. Where are you going? Are you going to South Florida or Central Florida? You know yet?

I'm going to Palm Beach.

Palm Beach, South Florida. Very beautiful down there.

I do a lot of work. I go there, like, once every two months. I have to go down there for some of our vendors and my work, so.

Yeah, it's awesome. My brother lives there. He's, like, really rich, and he has a giant house with a plasma screen TV.

Okay. All right. Good deal. Good deal. All right. Well.

Yeah.

All right.

Are we going to make prank calls?

Yeah. You want to call, um, I don't know what this is. Kilroy or something. I have no idea what this is.

trying to send me. I bet you Gerald Weed won't answer. I don't have any phone numbers right

now, unless you want to try to buy something for somebody. Let me go back to the other...

Do you want the dog calls, Carlita? Yeah, we can have you call, try to buy a dog. Is

that a Chinese crested? No, those are teacups. No, what is... Is Chinese crested? Is that

a dog? Yeah, it's a dog. That is a dog? Dogs are not teacups. I don't know. Okay, well...

Teacup is a size. Teacup... Oh, the teacup size. Oh, Jesus. Whatever, man. I don't know

hate dogs but this is people who are into dogs are really weird uh it's expensive or uh if you

want to call the hooters in phoenix i have that number just came in right now confirmed from

lonesome loser if you let's try that what do you prefer let's call hooters let's call hooters it's

on all right everybody be right back with the next call of the night it'll be the last call

of the night actually because um i'm being informed by starlight in the chat room that

reckless ready to go so we're going to turn it over to him so i can uh do my chores that i have

to do around here got a lot of to do but we'll get you one more call for the night

thank you very much for being with us we'll be right back okay mom just a second all right mom

so your mama said hi yeah he says hi he actually said that that's funny please enter your

authorization code now okay thank you for calling hunters at the arizona center cindy how can i

help you what was that you talk really fast i'm sorry what i can't understand it when you talk

that fast. Please repeat what you just said. I said thank you for calling Hooters at the Arizona

Center. This is Cindy. How can I help you? Oh, I'm doing excellent. How about yourself? I'm fine. Can

I help you with something? Uh, yeah. I was just wondering, like, my girlfriend, she's like, she's

like 12. She's got eight cups, and she's been trying to get a job at Hooters for like six years,

and they said no, and I was wondering if you want me to come down there. I'll tell you what

You go ahead and do that, and then you can also write a letter to your governor that

states that you have to be 19 in Arizona to serve alcohol, and 16 just to get a job, okay?

You have a great night, and please don't call back.

I'm going to poop on your chest.

You're going to poop on her chest, man.

That's just, yeah.

There you go.

You got balls, man.

That's how you do it.

Yeah, I got some balls here.

I got some poop balls for you.

All right, man.

Please enter your destination number now.

Ah, shut up, woman.

Hang on.

I hate that bitch.

Hello.

You there?

Well, hey, thank you very much.

That was a great call, man.

All right.

All right, thank you.

Good night, then.

All right, you have a good night.

I'll call in to reclude or whatever.

All right, good deal.

He'll be right on, everybody.

All right, yeah, thank you.

Well, then, milkman.

I'm not going to say that.

That was great.

Yeah, that was great.

Now, I'll get mixed up now.

Was that Matt or Mark?

I thought that was Matt.

I thought that was Joop.

Whoever Joop is, that was him, I thought.

Okay, I thought it was Juke, but hell, they've got so many interchangeable names, you know.

Mark, that was Mark.

Anyway.

I'm pretty sure it was Mark.

Okay, they make good calls.

Whichever one it was, they always make good calls.

Yeah, exactly.

Well, it had to be Mark because Matt's in the chat room.

Okay, well, everybody, thank you very much for being with us for a quick hour, about an hour show there that we did.

Again, I'd like to apologize to KDK for the misunderstanding in playing his material.

There was no disrespect intended.

I hope everything is fine and that I still have a show.

They didn't mean to do that, I'm sorry

And I understand if I'm suspended

That's fine

And Milkman, you should really take the blame for it

Because you sent it to me

Yeah, I did send it, KDK

I didn't realize that that was something that wasn't to be used

So I did send the call

I edited it down to minus 3 dB

Before I sent it

I think you owe KDK an apology too

Milkman

I apologize

You're a music pirate

it i'm just kidding man i'm sure everything's okay i'll talk to him off air we'll straighten

it out and maybe i should just stop talking about it anyway anyway anyway yeah well thank you

everybody who called in uh reclude uh matt mark wherever that was randy dandy for calling in also

am i missing anybody no i think that's all we took today what happened to carlos santana

uh never never got to but reckless ready to go i'll let him go because i really need to get that

shit done i might join in his show later i'll call in his show or whatever later or something

All right.

Well, thank you, Milkman, also, for being out with me.

Thanks a lot, man.

Yeah, man, this is a blast, man.

Good time.

Thank you, PCU.

We love you.

All right, thank you.

Mad Men, everybody out there.

Dr. Lego and KDK, our sponsor.

Right.

It's all for you guys.

Everybody listens.

And everybody, be sure to stay tuned.

As soon as possible, we'll have Reclude's Sunday Night Hand Release in just a moment.

And I thank you all for joining.

Have a great week.

We'll catch you here this Thursday at 9.15 or later.

Bye for now

Well damn it

I just shut the fucking music off

Fuck

Aye aye aye

I need uh

What did the Carlos Santana

Go on after

That's the only song I have

Man

We'll get with that

Hang on

We'll get with that

Calls (9, 14 min of 54 min)

Transcript

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