2005-10-27 Show

The following is an exclusive of ECU Radio and MadHouseLive.com.

We eat every day.

Are you not entertained?

I know why you are here.

You're now listening to Bazaar's solo album, Circus.

And I'm your boy, Young Miles of Future.

And my man's about to get it crackin' for y'all.

The big body, switch your motherfuckin' hands up for the number one weirdo.

It's your nigga with the shower cap, kickin' the nasty, dirty 50 rap.

And what's up everybody, you're listening to Madhouse, thank you very much everybody

for joining in, it is 9.43pm, so I'm not starting as late as usual, but then again I'm not starting

on time, I'm trying to grab that music.

What's up Milkman, how you doing?

Alright man, what are you saying to Khalido?

Not much, we're all here.

Oh, Jesus.

This is, um...

What night is this?

Athene, is this my second or third night without smoking weed?

Uh, second.

Second?

It's only been two?

Well, let's see.

It was third, because last night I couldn't hear you.

I was just listening to streams.

That'd be third.

No, it's the second, because I announced it on the Recluse show.

That's right.

Okay, yeah.

That was Tuesday night.

I announced it on the last show.

That was on the hand release.

Hang on.

Okay, okay.

Damn it.

Okay, good.

Phone is working.

Okay, I forgot to check the phone until the last minute.

The phone system is working.

And in a second, I will activate the toll-free line, but not just yet,

because we're going to talk first for a little bit, and then we'll get to prank calls.

Actually, Nunu has an information.

We need to do a prank call for Nunu that I asked him to help me out with getting the number.

Did you get me that number yet?

I am getting it now.

All right, anyway, everybody, you're here with me, Carlito.

It's Thursday night, as usual.

You're listening to The Madhouse.

I'm here with my girlfriend, Athena.

Athena, scream hi.

There you go. I don't know if you guys heard that, but that's

Athena and Milkman, of course, joining. Andy is not

here tonight. He had to work a late night

for a catering job and bullshit

and whatnot, so he's actually going to stay

home and drink, and he might be listening to the show.

Maybe he'll call in. Probably not. He's very

afraid to be on the phone.

But if you do want to join in, in a second, I'll

activate the toll-free line, so give me a little bit to get

things set up here, and then we'll be happy

to take your calls and do live prank calls.

I don't see Lonesome on, though,

unfortunately. Lonesome Loser's not in the chat room yet.

I'm sure he'll join us later.

Yeah, but he's such a good provider.

But if you want to join in in the madness, go to kdkprankcalls.com.

Once again, that's kdkprankcalls.com.

And you can join in the chat room through there and send me your confirmed numbers.

Hopefully confirmed.

If you can, please try to confirm that.

If not, I'll still try, but they may not work.

Other than that, you can also reach us here at Madhouse Radio.

Again, that's Madhouse Radio on AOL Instant Messenger.

Madhouse Radio is also your link to get a hold of me on Google Talk, if you're a user of that.

Google Talk, Madhouse Radio.

Madhouse PCU Radio for Yahoo Instant Messenger listeners.

Madhouse PCU Radio and Madhouse PCU Radio at Hotmail.com is MSN Messenger to reach me.

All this information is on the homepage of the show, which is madhouselive.com.

Again, that's madhouselive.com.

Click around.

The archive section is not up to date.

I do have all the archives ripped, for the most part, with the exception of what will be tonight's show.

I plan on tonight, first thing after the show ends, I will do the best update possible to fix the broken links on the site.

I would have done it now, but I didn't have enough time before the show started.

So I think I've got three episodes worth of shows, including the special edition from the hurricane show we did on Sunday night.

Yeah, as everybody knows, we had the Hurricane Wilma come through the state here in Florida where I live.

And thankfully, we didn't get hit as bad, but I was not able to do a show on Monday morning through the hurricane.

It didn't work out.

But we made it through pretty unscathed

We had horrible weather here

But it was a lot worse down south

In the Miami area

Very horrible

They still don't have power

They still don't have gas

I work for a company that does transportation

And I've got contacts down in South Florida

And they've given me horror stories

Of how it is down there right now

So I feel for anybody

Well nobody's listening right now in South Florida

But my best goes out to my competition

Mr. Blackout

Who as I take it has been unheard of

Since Monday night

Since he did his last show

He's blacked out

Blackout is blacked out

He's literally in a blackout

So

Uh oh

Yeah and he's actually

Not broadcasting tonight

So I'm assuming that

Um

No B.O.

Yeah

But we don't want to

Um

Wish ill on him

Of course he's our competition

Uh

He's on usually at this same time

But

Uh

I want to wish him the best

And hopefully he's okay

And makes it through

Without a problem

Hopefully he gets some

That's right

So that's

That's for uh

Blacked out

Anyway

Um

A gentleman in a skull

Or our man Carly

Exactly

I don't hate

And we've got Fred Phelps' number

Fred Phelps is a very

Bigoted

Christian minister

Where is that

75, I've got to find out exactly where he's from

But we're going to try to call him early for Nunu

Also, let me ask you real quick

Milkman, last night on

KDK's Psychobattle

There's a lot of talk

A lot of people in the chat room right now are saying

They missed it, a lot of people who saw it

Who were there for it last night, I was not

I was passed out.

But a lot of people that were there for us say it was incredulous.

Want to bring us up to speed with what happened?

It was.

Well, okay.

Yesterday, like I've had for all last day or so, I've been having major PC problems.

I did a reformat, and I could just listen.

I couldn't get into the chat or anything.

I didn't have Winamp or StreamRip installed.

So I'm listening off the browser, and the night's going pretty good.

And anyway, somehow or another, you know, Prankmaster's been calling in, getting banned, da-da-da-da-da-da, coming in.

So finally, Zolar got PO'd about it.

Because what happened was that Prankmaster evidently got all his numbers, Zolar's phone numbers, out of his telephone while he was asleep, I guess, during that Zolar lunatic fringe episode.

Well, after he took all the numbers out, then I guess he's been using them randomly at different times to give numbers to people and da-da-da-da to cause havoc, I guess, for Zolar, from what I understand.

Well, KDK had came on and admitted that he was kind of like, how should I say, he had suggested, PM asked Kim, he goes, should I get the numbers or not?

and he said yes so yeah kdk apologized about that zolard had threatened that if uh prankmaster's

not pulled his ip blocked pulled from the chat room blocked from the forums and blocked from

listening if possible the zolard would not do any more shows for a piece of you okay so some drama

obviously so the the big handle drop so anyway this that's just that's just the opener that's

just the opener for what's about to happen so right after that then they got prank master

on the phone and kdk started doing like a line of uh perry mason questioning man i swear to god

like ironside or something man you know i was proud man he was rolling around that wheelchair

you know he would say one thing and he'd ask another question before he finished the other one

well poor prank master got caught up and tripped over his his feet and told so many stories he

You couldn't keep track of all of them.

Well, when it was all said and done then, basically, he admitted that he did do something

and still kind of half claimed he didn't.

And, you know, pretty well, in the end, it's, you know, pretty well, it was supposedly an accident.

I went down.

He was out on the lake.

There's a story with some little girl, I guess a 12-year-old or something on a raft, maybe.

Some version of that.

Something happened with a girl.

Well, anyway, he was supposedly lifting her up on the raft.

This is a sordid tale.

Oh, my God.

Okay.

Supposedly helping her up on the raft, and accidentally his finger slipped in her.

Accidentally?

Front side.

That's such an easy accident.

I mean, you know, come on, man.

I mean, you know, that's some pretty damn good aiming there for an accident, but whatever.

That's the claim.

And he was denying it, and it went out over the air, and finally, I guess, you know,

and roundabout way finally admitted it wow also the truth came out finally kdk this is pretty good

kdk i couldn't believe it was amazing kdk extracted the information right it was worse

than pulling teeth so as far as i know he's not being in the chat room anymore he's allowed to

call in on the telephone and that's about it well i don't know um he's he can't hear the show

i know that he's he's bet he's on the ban list for the for the server i'm looking right now

the administrator page.

I don't see it there, but I know

from what I hear, he's banned from listening to the server.

He can't connect to the Shoutcast server.

He's banned from the

chatroom, and I believe he's banned

from the forums

also, so for the most part, he's

out of touch with PCU.

Unless he figures out...

Like his browser or anything like that?

I don't think so. It's an IP.

It's an IP block. I don't know.

I know MadMan and Satan, they know what they're doing.

So I'm pretty sure they say they banned him.

They banned him from the chat room at least.

And it's just a thing where he's coming in and he's just getting kicked and he's getting made fun of.

He's using proxies.

Yeah, I mean, it just needs to stop.

It's time.

And if that's how it went down last night, yeah, you know what I mean?

It's over.

You know what I mean?

It's over.

Yeah, I mean, he needs to find another hobby.

I hate that happened.

He's a friend of the show.

He's a friend of all of PCU.

Yeah.

But, you know, what he did is shameful.

And, you know, a lot of people just can't, you know, cannot live with it and don't want to deal with it.

And, you know, I feel bad, you know.

I guess it's just like with a murderer, you know, if you ever get out of jail for murdering somebody,

you're always marked a murderer, you know, no matter who you try to be today.

Yeah.

Well.

And, you know, it's sad.

Yeah, but, I mean, how long has this been going on now for what?

I'm thinking a month and a half.

Close to, yeah, at least a month or two.

At least a month or two.

Wow.

Yeah, well, I don't know.

If he calls in, I'm not going to put him on the air anymore, is what I'm saying.

You know, for the most part, because I don't want to get into this crap anymore with him calling in and everything.

I mean, you know, as much as I like Crankmaster and everything, I don't care for what he did, if that's true.

And I think, you know, you're making a wise decision, because all it's going to do is just inflame the thing more.

Yeah, it's going to antagonize people.

You know, then everybody wants to call in and starts cutting jokes on him and da-da-da-da.

And, you know, it's not worth all the hassle anymore.

Okay.

And, you know, Prankmaster needs Prankmaster, you know, he's my friend,

but he needs to, you know, make the adjustment and get over PCU.

It's not that big a deal, you know.

There's other things in life besides, you know, doing prank calls and stuff.

Well, I mean, it might be a good thing for him just to get out there and find another hobby

or find something else or find real friends or not on the Internet or whatever it is.

I don't know if for some reason he is listening now, best to him,

But I've got to stop it on my end.

I don't want to alienate anybody else who doesn't like him from listening to the show.

And, you know, it's too much at this point.

It's been going on for too long.

So from now on, this is the last you're going to hear about Prankmaster on the show.

If what you're telling is true, and, of course, I trust you and everybody else in the chat room.

Oh, it is.

I would have ripped it.

I mean, I have to say this was probably singularly the most moving episode ever.

Wow.

Singularly moving episode of PCU.

It had me literally in chills because Ellie called in after that

and very delicately explained her experience with that type of activity.

Right, which I've heard of, yeah.

I've heard of it.

I mean, with the thing that happened in her family over sexual incidences between family members.

So she said, yeah, she's coming from the vantage point where it's...

She's coming from a real, real, real tough place with it.

With her view of the thing, it's not a joke to her like it might be to everybody else.

Everybody else is not something, you know, we all talk about it.

It's a joke.

It's like, oh, yeah, you know, blah, blah, blah.

But for her, it's serious.

So let's just call it, on Pragmaster, the final verdict, he's banned from TCU.

He can't listen.

He can't be in the chat room.

He can't join in the forums.

And that's it.

As far as I know, if you feel this was best for him, he's not going to call the show

because I'm just not going to put him on.

And I have the ability to block numbers from calling.

I have call blocking on the toll-free line.

He's got my personal number, and I'm not going to put him through that door.

So if he tries calling in, I'll put him on once and say, hey, look, I can't put you on.

If he tries calling in, then whatever.

Okay, so let's move on.

Positive things, positive things, positive things.

Okay, so I want to give a shout-out to Lonesome Loser, who's finally joined the chat room.

And he's already coming through with the numbers, as usual.

Thank you very much.

I've got numbers for Mr. Dick R. Blood, with an E at the end.

Bloody.

We've got Chin Q. Harry, and we've got Violet Busty.

all confirmed numbers is normal

in his professional style

he's the most professional call

confirmer that we have on PCU

oh yeah most definitely so thank you

very much Lawson we'll be calling you numbers

very soon and

also yeah so what Monday's

this is the last madhouse before Halloween

isn't it?

not nothing the last madhouse

yay Halloween

it's not the last no no no

I never you know I never really got into

to halloween my my mom was very christian and she didn't want me to be celebrating how morbid it was

you know what i always ended up getting in trouble either the day before or the day of halloween

when i was in school and i would always end up not being able to trick or treat i think it was

just an excuse for my mom not to have to drive me around or whatever or take me around you know

so she'd always find an excuse not to not to let me do it so and she's also the woman who was

against water guns and if i bought a water gun with my own money i'd have it for a few days and

and she'd find it and break it in pieces without me knowing.

Oh, no.

Because she was against guns.

I don't know.

We have issues.

And I'm still seeing counseling for her.

No, no, no.

Not over my mom.

I love my mom.

She just started calling in now.

She needs to understand that Thursday nights is madhouse night.

She doesn't need to be calling in.

Anyway.

I called mom ahead of time this time.

I told her, hey, look, I'm getting ready to go in here,

and I'm going to talk to you now while I can,

because I'm going to be able to talk to you a little bit later.

I'm going to be busy.

Okay.

She said, oh, okay.

Okay, well, have fun.

Thank you

That's nice, great

Well hey, we're going to try to call

What is this guy's name?

Phelps

Can't remember his first name

Fred Phelps

Let me look him up on the internet

Fred Phelps

Related to Wilma Phelps

The Hurricane

Yeah, no

Fred Phelps

The first I heard of him

I was probably 16 watching 20-20

Which is one of my favorite shows when I was growing up

It sucks now

But Fred Phelps is this guy

He's actually in Mississippi, imagine that.

He's a racist, I don't want to say racist, but he's got problems.

He's a very hateful person.

He has a group of, well, actually, yeah, this is his website, believe it or not.

It's godhatesfags.com.

Again, that is godhatesfags.com.

Yeah, this guy is for real.

He does not play.

That is hardcore.

yeah he he he harasses people like to no end i'm posting his uh bio page here in the chat room for

everybody he was just he was in the news about a month ago he came he was in the news again

uh this week and i figured it's about time that i give him a prank call but i have no idea what

to do you have any ideas for this guy he um he claims that aids is uh sent from god to kill fags

secure homosexuality um let me let me read a bit of his bio here 1951 while preaching at the

arizona bible institute uh that's samaria's mom i don't know right he's a five-point calvinist

who urges all people to carefully study and discern what are the signs of the times blah blah

um anyway he's yeah he's he's really weird he has a website called god hates america also

apparently this guy's weird yeah he's he's very very weird and i know he's actually in league

He's in league with a group of Jews who are against Zionism.

Practically meaning a group of Jews who are pretty much against themselves.

What?

They're against an Israeli state.

I'm serious.

There's a group of Jews in America.

They're Hasidic Jews.

They're practicing Jews, and they demonstrate against Israel being a sovereign country.

They believe that they should not have their own land,

that they should give Palestinians their own land back.

I don't know.

There's some twisted people.

There's a group for everything out there.

That's like me being Puerto Rican and saying I'm against Puerto Rico.

I'm against Puerto Ricans having freedom.

You know what I mean?

I don't know.

Whatever.

People.

I don't know.

So he's friends with them, apparently.

I hate Spanish people.

Yeah, exactly.

God hates Puerto Ricans, and I'm Puerto Rican myself, or whatever.

Anyway.

Yeah.

Come on.

They hate you, right, clown?

Exactly.

Well.

What is the mentality of these freaking idiots?

Yeah.

True enough.

Man.

The Lord, I'm looking at it, he's got Love Crusades, Six Daily Pickets,

they're picketing the funeral of a Catholic Army Sergeant,

picketing Mikhail Gorbachev, visiting America and Kansas.

Bird shithead, I loved him.

Bird shithead, he's got the bird shithead, that's right.

That's what me and my dad used to call him.

Yeah, exactly.

My dad, he's passed away now, so that one there goes out to dad.

That's what he used to call him.

There's a big high five to that.

Bird shithead, all right.

bird shithead.

Well, hey, let's

give him a call. Let's stop talking. Let's do a prank call.

Let's call this out.

Quank Mass is in the chat room

also. No reclude yet. That's awesome.

Let's see. Let me go real quick.

Yeah, thank God for Katrina. That's what

it was. The thing I

saw, the news I saw the other day

was in New Orleans, he was picketing.

I don't know if it was in New Orleans, but he was

supporting Katrina because

New Orleans is a symbol of

America, a putrid, toxic

stinking cesspool of fat fecal matter what yeah yeah i know they were they were thanking god i

got the idea i got the idea yeah okay you can like kind of like maybe like play him along a little

bit and you know and say you're interested in getting affiliated with this organization that

you know you've got a lot you've got a lot of people out there that are behind you and

how can we get together and stuff like that you know and then break it to him towards the end and

that you guys are a bunch of fags wanting to join his group.

Exactly.

There you go.

Just kind of switch it up on him.

Like, aren't you the gay group?

Okay, just like you said, God hates himself, his own people,

so why not let these people at the madhouse join in?

And they're all gay, and they want to join the I hate gay group.

Yeah, there we go.

All right, well, I can do something like that.

I think I can work that out.

Well, let's give him a call, everybody.

Turn around on him.

Let's turn around.

Let's see what I can do.

Thank you for bearing with me.

Yeah, some version of that.

Yeah, thank you for bearing with me for my 15, 20, 25 minutes of rambling.

We'll do some prank calls now.

It's now 10.03.

We'll be right back in a moment on the Madhouse.

Thank you for listening.

This is not the song I wanted to play.

I've got a specific number of songs that I like to play every night,

and for some reason it never wants to work out for me.

Let's try this again.

Come on, Phelps, you old bastard.

Hello.

Hello, how are you doing today, ma'am?

Good, what can I do for you?

This is Rodney.

I'm calling here from ABC News.

How are you?

I'm good.

Great.

May I speak with Mr. Phelps, please?

What was it regarding?

Well, I'm calling regarding we were trying to get an interview with him here.

Okay.

Tell me more than that.

What do you mean more than that?

What do you need to know?

Why don't you put me with the man of the house?

The man of the house?

You should call the Westboro Baptist Church.

Yeah.

Okay.

You really sound like a professional journalist.

Well, the house is...

Work on those professional journalists.

Ma'am, ma'am, it's the house of God.

It's the house of God.

Either put me on with God or Mr. Phelps.

It's not the Oprah show.

We don't...

I don't...

What do you want, really?

Why don't you get playing games and say what you want?

Okay.

I need to speak to Fels.

We're thinking about doing a piece regarding religion and politics right now.

We'd like his opinion on a few things and maybe even interview him for primetime news.

Okay.

We're not so desperate.

We're not looking for desperate.

We're trying to get him.

What you need to do is say what you want because you're not going to get on the phone with him until I am.

Okay.

Listen.

Let me talk.

Heard the ABC story tonight?

Not tonight, no.

Heard the ABC story tonight?

It'll be on next week on 2020.

He was on the air with us.

And 2020.

I know, you did 20.

Listen to me.

Listen, we hate fags.

We're trying to expose the truth about fags.

Oh, yes.

Yes.

Let me put it to you this way.

2020 never saw a fag they didn't want to promote.

It's a new 2020.

We've taken over.

Do you know what happened?

Listen, Peter Jennings died.

Since you're clearly incapable of having any truthful discussion,

and you're full of guile, you need to go to the website and send us an email.

We've seen all the ones between Texas and Topeka, Kansas.

What are you talking about Texas?

What's this Texas bullshit?

Should I call her again?

Hell yeah.

I got her.

She stayed on that time.

Like I said, tell her that you're an organized group

and you'd like to find out how you could join his organization.

And break it to him about you're just an organized homosexual.

I'll go through the email and get an interview with a faggot.

That's what I'll do.

KDK with the faggot thing.

But he's a faggot.

Nah, KK's not a fag.

KK's cool.

Yeah, well, as Nunu knows, a fag is a cigarette.

A fag is somebody that...

I could try calling the son.

Hang on, maybe the son is a bit of an asshole.

Okay.

A bit more of a moron.

Hang on, let me...

That came from Nunu.

I've got that here.

I've already got that here somewhere.

I have it somewhere here, Phelps.

Here's Fred's number.

Ah, one of his relatives thinks it's his son.

He thinks like that shit too, blah, blah, blah.

Benjamin Phelps.

Okay, we'll try to call Benjamin.

Maybe we can speak to him.

Benny.

Benny Phelps.

Benny, make sure I got that right.

Oh, yeah, in the chat room, a few people were asking that song I was playing from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

That is who?

That is...

What the hell was that?

I can't remember who that was now.

That is Velvet Acid Christ.

The title of the song is Fun With Drugs.

Fun With Drugs.

I'll play that at the end of this.

Let's get Benjamin Phillips on the line.

Hang on, Bill.

Four, ten, minute, twenty-nine seconds.

God, that woman was an annoying bitch, man.

I know.

I hate women like that.

I would never marry a woman like that.

Dean, if you think about getting like that,

just let you know.

No way.

Hello, you have reached the law offices of Phelps Chartered.

The office is closed at this time.

This guy's a lawyer?

Hours are Monday through Friday,

8 a.m. to 5 p.m.

If you wish to leave a message,

please dial the extension of the person you would like to reach.

If you do not know their extension,

please dial 8...

Ah, fuck that.

All right, we're going to save that for next week.

Maybe I can come up with a better idea

than just saying that from ABC News,

because obviously she's not going to fall for that.

But I got close.

I got, she was, she was, all I needed was a good story

and she would have put me through to Mr. Phelps.

So we are, we are dead close.

So I, I take responsibility for fucking that up.

That could have been really good, but.

I wasn't fucked up.

She's fucked up.

Yeah, she is.

She missed out on a good LHS show.

Yeah, exactly.

She could have had a great time.

Had a great time.

Anyway, well, that was for Nunu.

Thank you very much, Nunu, for, for getting that number for me.

I'm going to save that and I'll come up with something

and then try to get the work in the future.

Okay.

Yay, Nunu.

Nunu from Britain, from UK, whatever he wants to call it.

Thank you very much.

Okay, but we have more numbers.

Don't worry.

We have more numbers from Lonesome Loser.

Plenty of them here.

Like I said before, we have Dick Blood,

Chen Harry, Violet, Busty, Richard Stank, Sandy Dandy.

That's almost like Randy Dandy, like a female version of Randy Dandy.

Oh, my God, man.

Nancy Fancy, Beatrice Bowser, and Bobby Bowser.

that all sounds fine and good

number one I need to save

the phone card pin that you just

sent me because it's taking me way too long to get the calls

going number one number two I really need to

take a whiz because I'm on like my third beer

and it's catching up to me

I've had

a pretty hefty bit of coffee

and about three beers so I really

need to take a whiz so I'm going to play

a quick song and I'm

going to run it to be less than a song

yeah well

Well, hang on, everybody.

I'll be right back.

I'm going to play a quick song,

and I'll be right back with the next prank call of the night.

Milkman, if you want to talk, by all means, knock yourself out.

I'm going to put some Snoop Doggy Dog here for you while I do that.

That's too short of a song, though.

Shit.

Okay.

I'll be right back, everybody, in just a moment.

It's now 10.28.

Go ahead, man.

Roll tune, man.

All right.

Stand by.

All right.

I'm back, everybody.

Athena's been on the website,

which I've been looking at for like a few weeks now.

now. Perverted slash justice.com. Let me put a link to that for everybody. You ever heard

of that website? You're cutting in and out. What's going on with you over there? Milkman.

What is it? The Milkman. The website. Perverted. I did it wrong. Trying to share this with

everybody. HTTP. That's perverted. Hello? Yes, I'm here. Milkman. Come on. Tell me you

Do you hear me?

Perverted Justice.

Hey, can you hear me?

Yes, I hear you.

What's going on here?

Come on.

You hear me?

I hear you.

What's going on?

Milkman.

Respect.

Let me see.

I'm still online.

Anyway.

Yeah, I hear you.

Okay, good, good, good.

Have you ever heard of the website pervertedslashjustice.com?

Okay, Milkman, you're going to have to restart your gizmo because you're not hearing me.

All right, I'm going to restart and I'll be back.

Okay, you do that.

I'll do the same while you're gone.

All right, all right.

Okay, all right, bye.

All right, well, Milkman will be right back with us.

Let me disconnect him, close our gizmo.

We're having serious trouble today.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, that's pervertedslashjustice.com.

If you haven't heard of it, check it out.

It'll probably piss you off.

uh but i've had ideas of calling these people who molest kids um well not molest kids but they

solicit kids for sex on the internet um from people posing as children uh teenagers and whatnot

and um they pretty much bust them they have god i think so far in 2005 they're up to 32 convictions

i think or something like that that they've gotten just from luring people into soliciting them

for underage sex and then they just turn around and send it right to the authorities and they get arrested.

They really make lives, the people who do this, they make their lives a living hell for that.

I mean, they spread their phone number, their address, they send flyers to their neighbors and to their work and everything.

Anyway, you shouldn't be doing stuff like that online if you are, shame on you.

And people like this are out there to get you.

And I do know that Shaquille O'Neal is actually involved with them for a fact.

For a fact, Shaquille O'Neal is involved with them.

and I'm not kidding when I say this, he's actually involved with them

and trying to stop

child molesters

pretty much, right, internet predators

I'll go back to the chat room here

Hellion in the chat room

is asking me to call this guy, he just found his cell phone

number after years of wanting to get revenge on him

for an incident in high school

when he called him up and tried to

masturbate on the phone thinking

he wouldn't know, ew that's nasty

he obsessed with anime and once said he wanted to

die and be reborn as one of the Sailor Moon girls

and this is a guy

I, I'm guessing this is a guy, well, yeah, obviously, Chris Babcock, number, and he thinks I have enough info, well, cool, Hellion, just for you, for that guy being a nasty fuck, we're gonna give him a call right now, going out to the chat room, so, and if you have anybody you wanna get revenge on, for whatever, ex-girlfriend, ex-boyfriend who's pissed you off, or anybody who's tried to fuck around with you, or just someone you normally hate, um, get that number to me, as long as it's confirmed, we'll do it, either myself, I'm sure anybody else on the show will do it, I'm not on the show, but on the network, on the radio station,

Whatever the hell we are

On PCU

That's better to say

Man I'm stumbling

All over on words

And I'm not even smoking tonight

I'm all like

I'm such a bad talker

Okay

Next call's coming through

For Hellion in the chat room

We'll be right back

In just a moment

Hang on here

That's not working

Sorry about that Hellion

Remind me to try that again

Later in the show

And by all means I will

But for now Hellion

I cannot call Mr. Babstock

talk. That's not going to work out. He's obviously

either on the phone or he's

got his cell phone turned off or some shit. So we'll

try him later. Don't worry. Just remind me because

I forget shit. Guys, I'm

sorry for the technical problems and everything

we're having. Via

AOL Instant Messenger, I can let you know that

somebody's telling me. Prank

Master's talking to me online. He's saying that he

wants to start a new segment called Weird Facts.

That he'll give me weird facts

every week. Do you know that Mozart wrote a song called

Lick Meek in Arse? Which turns out

to lick my ass.

and Ant will not, uh, whatever.

I don't know what Parkmaster's talking about.

He's obviously crazy over there, so

let's just close him down

and pretend he did not talk to me.

Um, let me open Gizmo up

and try to get Milkman back on here so I can do another call.

Uh, again, like I said, thank you for

bearing with me and my technical problems as usual.

Nothing ever seems to work right

the first time. But usually everything

works by 11 o'clock, and we're almost there.

Hopefully Milkman has his shit straight this time.

Third ring's a charm. Fourth ring's

even better. Hello. Yes.

All right, good.

We're in business.

Excellent.

All right.

Let's hit lonesome's numbers because we're failing here quickly.

Let's call Chin Harry.

Let's call Mr. Harry Chin Harry.

Chin Harry.

I've got to have something to do with that.

Thank you.

All right.

Music, music, music.

This way.

All right.

Hang on, everybody.

I turn it up.

Stop it.

How you doing there, you old bastard?

Mr. Harry? How you doing, Mr. Harry?

Hey, Chin.

Yeah, how you doing, Chin?

Oh, no, I'm not Harry Chin.

What?

I'm not Harry Chin. This is him right here.

Hurry up.

Testing out, let's see if you'd like to try it.

Hello?

Goddamn.

Hey, good to meet you, bastard.

Worst internet radio show ever.

I was going to tell you to ask him if his wife is Chin Huck.

No, I was going to ask him if his wife is Harry Bush.

Goddamn it.

This is the goddamn worst internet show ever, I swear to God.

I can't get anything to work.

And it's been like this for the past few weeks.

I just...

Nah, we're all right.

The best calls have been the ones that Reclude and everybody else calls in and does for me.

You know?

God.

And no one is even calling in because I'm not giving out the toll-free number.

You shake it off, man.

You shake it off.

It's stress.

Yeah.

The toll-free line to call in is 888-278-8509.

And again, that's 888-278-8509.

Why don't you call in and talk to me?

Maybe even do a call or something.

Try to save this faltering show.

No, seriously.

I knock my show a lot, but we do a good job here.

Everybody seems to be listening.

They've got plenty of listeners right now.

Lots of people in the chat room.

If you're not in the chat room but you're listening, be sure to join in.

Go to kdkprankcalls.com.

Again, that's kdkprankcalls.com and join the chat room icon.

And also be sure, while you're at it, to go to madhouselive.com and browse around the show website.

Who can we call now?

Yay.

I got Nancy Fancy.

Let me try that.

Oh, we got a redneck woman, though.

I got to try.

I got to go for the redneck before she falls asleep.

All right.

Oh, redneck, man.

Rednecks are cool.

They're funny.

Yeah, that's your people right there, Mugman.

Yeah, man.

We got a lot of redneck homies.

Sure.

Hi.

We're not able to come to the phone right now,

but if you'd please leave your name and a number,

we'll get back with you as soon as we can.

Thanks, and have a nice day.

Yeah, bitch, I got your fancy right here.

You better pick up the next time I call you.

Now nobody wants to pick up.

We need your Hawaii number.

Yeah, we need the Hawaii's.

Antwolf Nancy Fancy is not going to answer.

We'll try Sandy Dandy.

Okay.

Randy, are you there?

Yeah.

Someone has got to be there.

God damn it.

Oh, yeah, Randy.

Put your mom on.

Yeah.

Or anybody else.

Call in.

888-278-8509.

Be right back.

Is this?

Does this speak to Sandy?

Sandy Dandy?

She's asleep, but hold on, okay?

All right.

Sandy's always sleeping.

sleeping. What's your name? Kiki. Kiki Dandy? No. Your last name ain't Dandy? No. Oh, you must

have. Okay, I see what's going on. Divorce, huh? I'm getting divorced. Again, divorce. Yeah.

Oh, you've never been married? No. That's just what I say, Kiki. Kiki, what's that short for,

Kiki? Huh? For? Lakeisha. Lakeisha? You got a Kiki out of Lakeisha? I can see that. I can see

that how's the weather up there it's like cold it's cold you're in south carolina you're in

spark right it can't be that cold it's in like like in a low 60s i think that ain't cold brandy

your favorite alcohol you don't drink no what do you do nothing you don't smoke you don't drink

do you hyperventilate yourself you know those people who like to do that while they do that

you know you ever heard you ever heard of nxs uh you never heard of nxs no you know who suge knight

that is yeah he he likes to choke himself out when he masturbates no lie you know dr you know

you know dr dre yeah he doesn't have a penis either i'm not joking this is carlito good

evening this is carlito you're on my radio show yeah kiki come on now it's me over in uh wscs

uh your number one patient for she was all down and she said hang on and she sandy

Hello

Hello.

Hi.

Explain yourself.

You were divorced.

Over there.

Sleeping in my bed.

Not cool anymore.

Girl's house.

I got a taste.

You were too clipped on.

Afraid.

I'm not afraid of guns.

You ain't afraid.

You know what?

Get your hood out, buddy.

On my side.

Buddy, you don't know who I really care about.

Scared.

You know what?

Let me talk to the lady.

Black's always quick.

What's up, blockbuster?

My woman.

There's a black guy grabbing on her ass.

Where's the respect?

What?

Angry.

Instead of all you, I'm down.

Get my number, Brett.

Ain't no Brett.

My name?

My name's Carlito.

How do you get my name?

Don't worry about that.

Let me talk to Mr. Black for Mr. Black.

He over there.

Cheat game.

Hold on.

I'm just gonna be telling people to hurry up.

Hey, what's with you and Kiki?

Is that your girl or is that your sister?

Big ass.

Ready?

Can you do me a favor?

Bank that ass real quick for me.

I can hear it.

Let's get fricking back.

I gotta get this.

You know what I mean?

I gotta squeeze one.

She's right.

I thought she was on the radio.

No, no, no.

Yeah, but I mean, I gotta go back to the job.

That's not work.

That radio ain't work.

Come on.

Let's spank your ass real quick so I can hear it.

I got a question on the rear.

What do you want to ask me?

Someone gave it to me.

Thank you.

Hey, can I ask you a question?

Sure, go ahead, sir.

Is you over there jacking?

I don't know.

What do you think?

What's going on?

You can't even walk by.

You can't even spy, buddy.

Who's going to spy with that girl in case she spying on her?

I'm out there with that girl in case she spying on her.

Put a hole in her.

You're saying I ain't getting Carlito, right?

Put a hole in her.

Who put a hole in who ass?

In your ass, prison style baby, prison style

My kids gonna treat me

You're gonna be a butt, that's what I want, that's what I want

I'm dry anal

I told you, someone that doesn't like you gave me

Someone

Just someone, you don't need to know

This is between me and Kiki, that's all it is

Then who is this?

Someone

Someone number two?

I wanna know how big your wang is

Just ask me how big my motherfucking gun is

Just tell me.

I don't know him.

Yeah, I promise.

I don't know him.

When's the last time your man gave it to you?

Damn, what?

Dude, man, you're gay, man.

What?

You don't know who he is.

I know, but...

I got your dirty laundry.

Your dirty laundry over here.

Dude, who is he?

On my face.

Shut up.

Let him hear this back, man.

It's gonna be for college.

I told you, this is Carlito.

Don't use the N-word with me, okay?

How do you know the number?

One gave it to me.

That's all you gotta know.

I don't even know who he is.

I didn't call for you.

Talked to the lady.

I'm gay.

I'm trying to prove to my parents that I'm straight.

So I was talking to Kiki.

I thought she was a guy.

She sounds very masculine, you know.

There's no crack.

The only crack I'm thinking about is yours, Black.

Have you ever stolen a clown in Black?

I don't speak that.

You speak in English?

I can't hear you.

You wet and covered.

You don't get them, you fake them.

12 to the guy

Man, you gay, man

For real

No, I'm not

For real

Just because you have 12 cocks doesn't mean you're gay

Black, don't say black

You black

I love black people

Kiki, though, I want to talk to

She's been talking to me this whole time

She started cock blocking me

She's talking to me

You don't want me like you'd like

What the fuck are you doing here in a minute, man?

I'm not

Look, don't make me roll up in there in your hood

That's all I got to say

What?

You're here

You're here, black

You're here

I'm getting tired of repeating myself

This is Carlito Brigante

I got nothing

Just because you have a gun doesn't mean

you're the man ain't nothing don't say you know what i say i called to talk to kiki you guys got

to be all in my business how did you get to know what do you know i mean i'm doing the question

i'm the one making the questions i'm in charge i'm in charge you ain't in charge of you

i'm in charge of everybody over there you and i say jump you ask me kiki tell him what happened

last night true let me let your memory what was your woman like only the truth you need to know

She was sleeping with a gay man last night

I know

Be quiet

Kiki, shut up

Everybody shut up

I'm gonna start shooting people in this bitch

I told you already, rip your hood

Right here, the Taco Bell

Taco Bell here next to the shopping plaza

You know why, man

So what? So I started what?

You know shit about me

Hang up the phone

Shut up. Don't disrespect me.

I want y'all to shut up.

I want the bitch to shut up, and I want you to shut up.

This is mean.

Hey, call to talk to black.

It's between me and black.

Argue and nuance each other.

What's that say about black?

This is between white and black.

That's all it is.

That's how I see it.

I don't like to see what I say about you.

Hey, what do you call a black man running down the street?

Innocent. Innocent. Innocent. Innocent.

You don't even know how to kill somebody.

I was in the army.

Look, between me and you, I got honorably discharged for something to happen in the army.

I can't talk to you about it.

It had to do with a guy.

I had sex with an Iraqi and I got kicked out of the war.

What can I say?

Call on me, man.

I hit star 69 and I got your number back.

Some girl, Kiki, called me.

Oh, nigga, I want to talk to you, Carlito, again, last night.

She's laughing.

She knows it's true.

All I got to say is your house is in an order.

All I got to say is you got to check your woman.

This could all be solved, me and you just get together, you give me about a hundred dollars, and I'll keep quiet.

You can't afford a hundred dollars.

You're always like, don't say nothing, don't say nothing.

Just like you get arrested, you're like, don't say nothing, don't say nothing.

You're all calm.

You're all black, right?

You talk too much.

You shut up too.

You're a little pussy.

You give me a dollar, I'll suck her too.

Look, you know, this shit, personally, I got it from someone.

Someone that doesn't like any of you, I say.

Well, it's like this, bro.

You don't tell me what it's like.

I'm in charge.

Touch home, bro.

This time, I'm in charge.

You called, Kiki.

You know what happened last night?

You didn't call that motherfucking cop.

I didn't call your little motherfucking ass.

You don't want to own up to what happened.

You put it your own way.

You don't want to own up to what happened.

Look, between...

You're a motherfucking fag, don't you?

Yeah, it is.

What are you going to do?

Are you going to call the cops?

All right.

You know what?

You know what they're going to do?

You're going to call the cops.

They're going to come over, and they're going to search your crib, and it's over for you.

No, dumbass.

They're going to search my phone.

Yeah.

You ain't calling no cops because, you know, they come over, you guys are in trouble.

That's all I got to say.

It's in the game.

In the game, I am playing.

This is serious.

This is real life.

Shut the fuck up.

Oh, I'm not talking to you.

Who are you?

I already told you my name.

What's your real name?

Second name.

Can I please have a credit card number and expiration date?

Security number.

Stop until I either get a credit card number or an apology.

I'm good, bro.

Dude.

Intimidated by you.

Either you shut up or it's called.

I gotta say.

Whatever.

I'm tired of this.

You know what?

Again.

Me again.

It's over between me and you.

I go this and my man wants to do this with you and all this.

It's all lies.

All right, just go for it.

Any other woman.

I'm done.

that was interesting man you was getting you was getting a roundhouse over there yeah athena

You know what's wrong?

You okay with that?

What was wrong?

The nine-year-old thing?

Is that what the problem was?

You don't like the nine-year-old thing, I said.

I'm sorry.

I don't think I ever got to the nine-year-old thing.

I think they got started as soon as you said,

that's my girl.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, that's when they got serious at that point.

They were like, hey, wait a minute.

I was hoping you'd get them to do a promo, you know.

No, I wasn't going to.

I didn't want them to know anything

because I actually threatened them.

You know, this is...

Yeah, yeah.

That would have been maybe some other day after, you know,

Keep that number

Put it in the big book

That was a very good call

Thank you everybody

For dealing with that call

I don't know if that was too long or whatever

But that was interesting

It was beautiful, it was confrontational

I'm all about the confrontation

It's good when I get people who are confrontational back with me

I wanted to do a promo but it wasn't best

Let me go back into the chat room

PrankMyCity has a special guest calling

Okay.

Okay, Prankmaster, who's going to call?

Okay, who?

I bet you it'll be Roy Wood Jr.

I don't know.

Nice.

Some kind of East Coast Bob comedian.

Who's East Coast Bob?

Hell, I don't know.

Some comedian he said.

Who is...

Hopefully he's not listening to me making fun of him.

But I don't know if he's going to call now.

I don't know.

Well, he just sent me a message.

He said don't call anybody.

Okay.

Well, the line's open if he wants to call in.

Glenn, if he gets on, he's a semi-famous comedian.

I have no idea who East Coast Bob is.

Right.

You probably need to expose your words to us.

Probably if he's going to call the Madhouse, for God's sake.

If he's going to call this shit show, he probably does.

Hang on, let me do a search for him.

Hang on, East Coast.

I got a bunch of East Coast stuff.

I don't know anything about East Coast Bob.

Somebody tell me if you know who East Coast Bob is, if he's going to call in.

Yeah, he can call in, but I don't know what to talk to the guy about.

I don't know.

All right, well, if he calls in, I don't know, I'll do something.

Televised phone pranks East Coast Bob outdid Captain Janks at some point?

I don't know.

Someone out there, if you know who East Coast Bob is, by all means.

I got an article here.

Phone pranks of single-handedly got Michael Savage fired from his MSNBC show.

I thought Michael Savage was still doing that show.

He's going to make the show funnier.

Okay, well, if he calls.

We'll see.

Claiming to be Philadelphia Major Ed Rendell called Rosie O'Donnell a big fat pig on live

I have TV.

Oh, that's Captain Jack's that did that.

I remember that.

That was the first episode of the Rosie O'Donnell show, right?

He called in and said, yeah, then he says, I'm like, you're a big fat pig or something like that.

I remember that.

That I've heard before.

East Coast Bob got through when Savage was discussing airline horror stories.

He apparently began to insult Savage.

Oh, yeah, this is the guy that got Michael Savage to say that shit about gays.

Remember that?

I've heard this before.

I've heard this.

Yeah, I remember this is really controversial.

He said, yeah, I think Savage thought he was off the air.

I guess, quote, he said, you should only get AIDS and die because he's gay.

You pig, how's that?

Why don't you see if you can sue me?

You pig, I remember this.

I've heard this and everything.

That's true.

All right, well, I guess the guy, yeah, I remember laughing when I heard this.

If he wants to call in, I'll ask him about what it was like,

and I want to ask him how he gets on national shows.

I'd like to know his secret because I'd like to prank him.

Eastcoastbob.com.

Eastcoast, it is?

Okay, eastcoastbob.com.

There it is.

Everybody, if you want to see who might be calling in, go to eastcoastbob.com.

And we'll see if Prank Monster comes through.

There he is.

Sure enough.

Oh, there he is talking to Adam Carolla.

Also, apparently.

Oh, look, he's got a few.

Okay.

He's prank called Paige Hopkins.

He prank called some L.A. news anchor.

He prank called a police chase in L.A.

Okay.

Interesting.

Prank called the Reverend Willie Wilson.

Okay.

Anyway, that's that.

What can we do now?

Let me go back in the chatroom and see what's going on in there.

Again, if you want to call the toll-free line, that's 1-888-278-8509.

Again, that's 1-888-278-8509.

And DTD is telling me that that's Bob from the Stern Show, the Reverend Bob Levy from the Stern Show.

And guess what?

I'm not going to be able to put him on because that's going to piss Zolar off if he hears that.

Because I'm pretty sure the way he got that number would be from Zolar's phone list.

Doesn't that make sense?

If it's Reverend Bob Levy.

If it's something to do with Stern Show and its outrageous number, man, you probably better not call it.

I probably better not.

I mean, if he calls in, fine, but, yeah, I'm not going to call the dude.

But, I mean, you know, just go ahead and use one of those torn pages out of Zolar's phone,

but it probably would be a bad vibe.

Exactly.

We'll see if he calls in.

If he calls in, I'll put him on.

If he wants to call in, by all means, okay.

Well, no, if somebody calls for a show, well, hell yeah.

Okay, all right, cool.

We'll give them a tour around the madhouse.

Exactly.

We'll let them, and maybe that'll be fun.

We'll have them even do a prank call or something like that.

Okay.

Hell yeah.

Yeah, again, if you want to call in toll-free, 888-278-8509.

That's your key to get into the show.

He's talking to his girlfriend.

Who's that?

Pragmaster?

No.

Who's talking to his girlfriend?

What?

He's Coach Bob.

All right, cool.

Well, we'll see what's up with that.

DTD, tell me who cares, blah, blah, blah.

Anyway, people are freaking out.

What the hell are you doing, Carlito?

What's DTT on right now?

What's he pissed off about?

He's always getting upset about stuff.

No, and Adam Carolla is not going to call in.

That'd be nice.

DTT's telling me not to be nice.

Okay, anyway, enough of that.

We have a confirmed number for Catherine Tootie in Virginia.

Redneck woman.

Let's go ahead and try to give her a call.

Again, that's Catherine Tootie who we're going to be calling here next on the Madhouse.

It's now 11.13.

And this is going to be one call here before I take a break

And we'll come back and try to get full steam again

With back-to-back prank calls here for a while

To make your people happy

I have a bad feeling that people might be upset

With the quality of the show today

I keep saying that

And it's probably making things worse by saying that

But anyway

Everybody, hang on

And we'll be right back with the next call

Hello?

Hello, Ms. Tootie

I'm afraid she has the wrong person

Hello?

Look, don't let me go, please

Hello, Ms. Tootie

There is no Ms. Tootie here.

Well, who the hell is this?

What did you do with Ms. Tootie?

Hey, check this out.

Check this out.

You like the foodie?

I mean, not to talk to Prank Master.

He can talk to me all he wants.

DTD says, do not be nice to Prank Master.

Well, I can be nice to whoever I want to, DTT.

No, I'm kidding.

DTT, he's got it.

Carlito is an independent man.

He's got his own opinions.

Yep, yep.

I'm very...

Don't worry about it.

Don't tell me what to do, God damn it.

No, I'm kidding.

We'll still let you come in and talk on our show.

Yo, KDTT, we don't care.

If DTT is such a man, why does he call in the show?

No one else wants to call in DTT.

All right, call in.

Hey, wait a minute.

Tell Recluse to call in.

He said he's been trying to call us big.

Yeah, that's right.

You know what I need to do?

I need to start calling businesses.

I have better luck with businesses than these people.

People don't have patience.

I don't know.

I just think it's the night that we call.

You know, it's like, you know, it's hard to get people and it's easy to get businesses.

Yeah, exactly.

Exactly.

Big nasses.

Okay, well, yeah, I need businesses.

Is Lonesome in the chat room still?

No, he's not.

He's gone.

No, he got signed out.

He signed out.

Yeah, he signed that he never came back.

God dang it.

Well, it's a loser.

Shame on him.

Yeah, he signed out of the AIM, too.

Oh, well.

Well, Milkman, give me a hand here.

Try to give me some numbers in Hawaii or something, business numbers, so I can do some calls.

You know what I mean?

You want me to get some numbers?

Yeah, anybody out there who wants to get me numbers for Hawaii, California, Alaska,

businesses, restaurants, whatever you can think of.

That might work out a little better for tonight, because obviously calling people straight is

It's not working out.

And I also want to say what's up to Phaser.

Phaser, I have not seen him in a while.

Look, he's back.

Yeah.

Cool.

He said somebody's trying to call the show.

Yeah.

And he's getting a busy number, so I don't know what's going on.

So, Phaser, tell your buddy or you to send in the information then on the AIM,

and then we'll do it.

Yeah, exactly.

Well, he's saying he's calling from Eastern Europe, I think.

Isn't Phaser in Canada or something like that?

Yeah, he's in Canada, yeah, B.C.

Okay.

All right, Moldova, he's a cool call to make to Michigan.

Again, an engineer thinks he's a hooker.

Oh, that sounds really interesting.

Okay.

Milkman, what kind of beer do you drink?

Are you a beer drinker?

On occasion, yeah.

On occasion.

Have you had a chance to try this Pumpkin Spice Ale by Budweiser?

Oh, hell no.

I've never even heard of it.

Seasonal beer that came out.

They're doing seasonal beers now, kind of like Sam Adams has their seasonal beer.

They have the Summer Ale, and they have the Oktoberfest beer now,

and then they'll have my favorite, which is the Cherry Wheat for Christmas time for the winter.

Yeah, well, Budweiser's getting on the bandwagon.

They're doing the Michelob pumpkin ale, pumpkin spice ale, and I don't know.

Is the phone busy?

The phone is not busy.

Let me check.

Reckless says he's calling the number, and it's busy right now.

Nope, phone is not busy.

Athena, you got your cell phone there?

Athena's going to test it.

Hang on.

It is 888-278-8509.

Let me re-update call 8 real quick.

It should be working.

Damn it, it's coming up busy.

What the hell are you saying?

Okay.

There is one.

Phaser sent me the information.

I am having phone trouble.

Oh, it is disabled.

What the, buddy?

You no wonder nobody's calling him because the goddamn phone is disabled.

Redirect your number again.

And I did re-enable it.

Yes, I'm sure when you re-enable it.

Disable it and then re-enable it and see what happens.

Yeah.

That's it.

Hang on.

I'm going to send you this information from Phaser.

Okay.

This guy's in Moldova.

Okay.

Do that.

And I have confidence.

Athena, try it one more time.

It should be working now.

Redial that.

Thank you, baby.

Again, that's 888-278-8509.

You know what?

What? That guy was probably trying to call in and it was busy.

If he was.

Oh, okay.

He's close, Bob.

For God's sake, if that guy calls in, I really...

You know what? I was almost embarrassed.

Have her test it now.

Yeah, she's testing it. She's dialing it now.

Hello?

Hi.

Hi, how you doing?

I'm good. How are you?

Do you want to talk to my Carlito?

Yes, please.

Why are you sleeping with my Carlito?

We got Texas calling in.

Tina.

You bitch.

Turn the phones on, you fucker.

I'm a dumb fuck.

You know, I could have sworn I turned it on.

I was told that he had one of the best pranks, but that was a fucking bomb ass.

Was I good?

Oh, yeah.

With those fucking nigs, man.

That was hilarious, dude.

That was fucking the shit.

The nigs.

I know.

I feel bad.

I don't like being racist, man.

You know, I make racist jokes and stuff, but I'm not like that.

I feel bad, because...

Oh, bullshit.

You fucking sat there and told me.

Don't fucking try to act nice in front of...

What, are you black people, man?

Yeah, you know what?

Zola would say, fuck the niggas.

You know, he's always...

God, man.

Of all the people I know, Zola really knows how to throw the N-word around, too, man.

He loves doing it, too.

Zola would tell you.

He does.

Like on the Stern Show?

Yeah, I know.

He's a big racer.

That's what he gets on the air for.

He calls up and just...

He called, um...

What did he do?

He called, um...

He called Chris Rock...

Chris Rock the n-word, didn't he?

Last time Chris Rock was in the studio, I think he was, right?

That's pretty funny.

Yeah.

I mean, that's balls right there, called Chris Rock.

That's fucking...

That is...

Yeah.

I know, man.

Yeah.

Exactly.

Yeah, that's funny shit, man.

Fuck it.

That was badass.

And, fucking...

That dude was trying to call.

The East Coast Bob was trying to call.

And, like, I...

Okay, cool.

You gotta help me out, though.

East Coast Bob.

What has he done?

He did that Rosie O'Donnell call, apparently, right?

No.

No, that was, that was, uh, fucking, that was, that was clearly jank.

Yeah, that was jank.

That's right.

No, it was, I'll show you what he did.

Let me go up on his fucking site.

I'll read it.

This guy's a fucking, yeah, Joe, John O'Larrison.

That's a bitch.

Yeah, Lacey, oh.

That is the, I'm fucking, Adam.

Okay.

Yeah, I don't remember the Adam Cruella, but here, let me play that.

Those are funny, fucking.

Hear that real quick.

Oh, you can hear it, actually.

It's not a body. Hello everybody. I'm Paige Hopkins an object investigators thought that would be the body of Lacey

quadriplegic murder ball an anchor divers pulled it out of the Berkeley

marina today the

27 year old

He just has out of sight. Never mind. Could you hear that at all? Could you hear the computer?

Yeah, I heard a little bit of that. You know what?

I've got it worked out where I think people will be able to hear a milkman from now on on the phone

Yeah

Yeah, I don't have it on her.

I have to actually do a little wiring, but I think I figured it out.

That's good news for everybody.

Yeah, that's cool, man.

People calling in can get the full show.

Let me ask you, Rick, to put you on the spot, but would you like to do a prank call?

A guy in Michigan, an engineer.

A guy in Michigan is an engineer, and he thinks he's a hooker.

He thinks he's a hooker.

That's all I got.

What?

A guy in Michigan.

Some dude in Michigan who thinks he's a hooker.

No kidding.

He's an engineer.

Okay, hang on.

Rick, I got a call here from Zolar.

Let me see what's up with Zolar.

and I'll put you right back on.

Hang on a minute.

Yeah.

Hold it.

Hey, East Coast Bob, I'm calling in.

Oh, Mr. Bob, how are you there, sir?

Good, good.

What show am I calling?

This is the Madhouse.

I'm broadcasting live from my basement in my boxers.

Nice.

And your name is Carlito?

That's right.

How are you tonight?

I'm okay.

Hey, how exactly do you run your show?

Over the computer in your basement?

Well, I steal Internet, first of all.

I steal my Internet, and I have a stolen computer,

And I pretty much harass people

That's how it is

Hey, I like that

And are you broadcasting all over your internet

From the same place you masturbate from?

Well, I masturbate in several spots in my house

In my basement

My favorite place to masturbate is right here

In the chair that I'm sitting in

You should smell my chair

It's glazed

Excellent

Well, I'm glad there's no television going

Smell the internet radio

So, seriously, Zola

How are you doing tonight?

Thank you, Bob

You can't fool me like you used to back in the day

I'm a smart now

I almost had you

Yeah

Yeah, you're doing well, though.

So what's up, man?

How you been?

I was kind of sleepy over here, fucking, and I put your show on to make sure it would wake

me up, and sure enough, you were making a fucking very funny phone call to those fucking

niggas, man.

It was fucking hilarious.

That's where we're just talking about you and the N-word.

That's great, man.

Thank you very much for that.

So, Zolark, tell me, you actually, you called Chris Rock the N-word, didn't you?

Did you not?

Actually, when I first, he claimed he handled it so well, he wasn't even shocked because

he heard it so many times, but when they showed him on E, he should have saw his, I

I mean, his eyes bulged out at the time he was on.

Second, Howard said, let's take some phone calls.

Chris Rock immediately went, I'm going to call my nigga.

Sure enough.

There it is.

Exactly.

There it was.

That's awesome.

Yeah, he did for a moment on the Howard stuff to him.

The cancer guy died.

Ebert's a lifestyle, right?

Ebert and Roper.

Yeah, Ebert's a lifestyle.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, his wife.

Terms.

Oh, my God.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

I may believe one of them of them had a nigga.

I don't show anymore.

Oh, well, screw him then.

He can't take a joke.

That was about movies, man.

I hate his reviews.

him and who you know that faggot on NBC with the handlebar mustache who thinks he knows movies

he doesn't know his name kick his ass I hate it not Geraldo I hate everybody who thinks you know

about movies and gets on and tries to give reviews because they usually don't know shit

you did how was that well that's the best way to do it right get the as they come out kind of like

an exit poll you know how was you know there's your new there's your new segment for your show

you go down to the movie theater you get some digital audio of the people and then bring it

back and play the audio on your show exactly oh well that's a good idea i could run with that

try your ideas are great zola give me a status on the serious show any any new news yet um what's

going on you're okay yari delabate had told me that you know they're gonna do all the crazy

lunatics before howard gets like uh when do you read they're gonna nobody and then they're gonna

go down the line of fucking all the people they're gonna fucking you know use as displays like angry

black and shit like that they just put them in there because they need a nigga to get in there

They've got to keep the NAACP off their backs, so they've got to put those in there.

How do you think I got a job where I'm at now?

Thank you, white people.

I'm not even black.

Sometimes you grab a man and you say, yeah, he's almost.

That's enough.

He's halfway there.

You don't speak English.

Anyway, what was I going to say?

Howard's parents are on the air tonight, I guess, or something.

I don't know.

I don't have Sirius yet.

I've got to get him.

Yes.

Yeah, yeah.

They've got my chance to go on the show also.

He's going to be on the show.

run down, you know, the wackiest people first. He's not going to put somebody like me on

who's trying to do a serious, he's trying to do outrageous, crazy shit so people keep

their interest, contract runs out. Exactly. He's going to do the whole, the real Howard

100 and he's got the, yeah. You'll do fine, Zola. I'm sure you're going to do, you'll

be one of, I mean, God, for, for, for real, with what you've been doing here, I'm sure

you're going to do just fine. It'll be all right. Well, I never really claimed to be

a, like I call in, but I know, I know all the background on it when I call, you know,

I'm, I'm doing this and shit like that. Anyway, I mean, I'm, I'm getting used to this and

And I always wanted to do something like this anyway, but Mike's getting this thing.

A guy who Piazza.

Well, if all the people want to get in touch, we can let them know how he's doing and stuff.

You would email to Mike Piazza.

Is that the Stern Network guy?

Am I right or am I wrong?

No, I got much.

Now, now, now, now, now, let's get to another reason why I called.

He did not.

He's telling me it's not Bob Levy.

It's East Coast Bob, who I've never, I'm reading, I know of the stuff he's done.

I just didn't know his name by heart.

Oh, yeah, East Coast Bob.

Yeah, yeah, but he's not affiliated with Stern, I don't think he is.

No, it didn't come from my phone book. That's for sure

But Frank master and under some other way of getting friend my phone number

He body else out of my phone book any of my phone numbers to me come visit you at work

Speaking a threat where everybody on the internet could be his witness. I'm gonna 24 be in the hot cities and trade-off

I guess a month a month in the hospital

For him to fucking to my phone book is graceful to know that I know about and I'm able to come down there and fucking

and make you look

totally different.

Mongoloid.

Well, Zola,

thank you very much

and everybody,

you'll be on tomorrow.

You got anything

special planned for tomorrow

that we should know about

or just...

Tomorrow is going to be

a special day.

Cam will be going to

let me utilize the studio.

We're going to do

a show together.

Zogo Vision?

All right, cool.

I like that.

7 p.m. I guess

you're going to start?

Yeah, yeah.

Start promptly at 7 p.m.

and we'll have a cam on.

He's going to have

some girls down

to the studio

and we're going to

have some classic fun.

Wow, sounds like great.

Sounds like a hoot.

That's what we love

Thank you very much for calling in Zolar, I'll be sure to turn in and I'm sure everybody

else will.

Thanks for having me.

Alright my friend, you take care of yourself.

We'll talk to you later.

Guys, Zolar!

Another call on the line, we lost the record.

Hey I sent you that information from the phaser, Zolar.

You're in a man house?

You're in a man house.

Turn down your speakers.

My god.

What's up?

Hey, turn the radio down sir.

Yeah, hi there.

How you doing?

Who am I speaking with?

You're speaking with Matt Leroy.

Matt's in the EU.

He's in Europe and he wants to do a program with a guy.

Okay, who is this? Fazer I'm speaking to?

Yeah, I'm doing it.

Oh, what's up?

Hey, not bad, not bad.

You're selling?

I've got Matthew on the other end.

All right, all right.

Matthew's got me online from Moldova.

Moldova.

Mr. Warren, I know.

The conference thing, you know, he wants to...

To be honest with you, this isn't sounding very good at all, though.

Okay, I'm doing it.

He's doing it.

I've never done it in a video game.

You've just seen he's hacking overseas Russians and he's...

Okay, so if you really like it, I'm going to...

We'll do that call actually next right now if you want to keep listening.

Alright, we'll do this then.

Okay, cool.

We'll get, that's next up on the, on the map.

Yeah, this is Carlito.

It's been a while since we talked to you, man.

It's good to hear from you.

Okay, you keep the radio down?

No, just extra, I'm going to have to disconnect because the sound quality is really bad.

It's going to drive everybody nuts.

Okay, we'll be listening now.

Okay, keep, keep.

Yeah, no problem.

We'll get that right now.

Alright, we'll be back soon.

Welcome back, Lonesome.

Hopefully he's okay.

Anyway, um, so, damn it, we lost Reclute and all that mess.

Shit.

Hopefully Reclute's out there.

I can call Reclude back so he can do that call for me

While giving the details on that

Phaser, a friend of ours from Canada

A friend of Milkman's

Is going to have us do the call

We'll do that next

He said he was on one show with us

Yeah he did

That was a really good show we did

That was the one with Nautica

Who we've actually forgotten about

Let me try to call Reclude back

Let me get some music before I do that

This guy reminds me of a teacher

from Charlie Brown.

Womp, womp, womp, womp, womp, womp.

Yeah, exactly.

I'm sorry, Fazer.

I had to get rid of him.

He's a good guy and all,

but I can't.

Yeah, but man,

he was like loud in the store.

Yeah, it was bad.

It was bad.

Well, keep listening, Fazer.

We'll do your call for you right now.

No problems.

I have no problem doing that.

Be right back.

Let me try to get Reclute here.

I'm going to call him directly,

see if he wants to try that again.

Be right back, everybody.

Give me a second here.

Hello there.

Hello, Reclute.

We lost you, man.

Alright, what happened?

Well, you know, you got Zolar talking.

Ah, but I got you, ready?

Hey, listen to my new song.

Alright, play it away.

You wanna hear it?

Let's do it.

Yeah, it's real nice.

Wow.

Listen to that.

It's great, Reclude.

I don't know what to say.

I've seen these retards make an album on the internet, and this is like the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life, dude.

Yeah?

I'm starting to like put shit.

Yeah?

Like it's a whole, this vlog is like, it's head of it.

Well, there's an audience for everything, Reclude, man.

You know what I mean?

I don't know about that, but yeah.

Yeah.

Alright, well, hey, guess what?

We got a request for a call, and I promised you I was going to have you do this.

And I have more information on it actually now if you want to try it.

Yeah, that guy that's an engineer or some shit.

Yeah, I got a request to tell him that we are from the FBI.

I don't know if we can do that, but he's been reported.

Yeah, you might want to take this one.

Yeah, exactly.

No, no, no.

We won't do the FBI thing.

Yeah, you might want to take this one.

No, I think that's an all-you call.

We'll definitely not do the FBI thing.

All right.

What does it do?

He thinks he's a hooker.

Is that what it is?

Thinks he's a hooker?

I don't get that at all.

I don't know.

I mean, do you...

Okay, does the person that...

I was thinking maybe it could have been, like, the person that gave...

Hacker.

Number.

I think it's spelled hacker.

It's a hacker.

The guy.

He spelled it wrong.

He means to say it's a hacker.

He thinks he's a hacker, not a hooker.

Apparently, he's been trying to hack people in Russia.

Apparently, that's what's going on.

Oh, a hooker.

I was like, what? He's a hooker. What's the big deal between blowing somebody and hacking them?

Exactly, exactly. There's no difference there.

Anyway.

But yeah, I mean, fuck it, man. Yeah, fucking KDK said it. He knows that album.

Yeah, okay, yeah.

Wait for me to say, dude, I'm going to make, dude, on my show next week, there's going to be like fucking cool remixes of that shit.

Awesome, man. I'll be looking out for that. Be sure to share. Be sure to share.

It is so fucking, yeah, let's call that motherfucker, man.

I guess his name is Ahmed Yassin.

Yassin Ahmed.

Let me know.

I'm going to copy this.

I'm going to send it to you on your AOL, okay?

Yeah, let's not admit we're anybody, but like we're FBI.

You know what I mean?

Let's make him think we're important.

As long as we don't say we're cops or we're FBI or whatever, then I'll be good.

Hey, you're investigators.

Okay, here we go.

We're investigating a complaint.

That's all we got to say.

And you got it over there, right?

What's that?

You got it over there?

You got the info?

Yeah, I got that.

Just got it.

I'll dial it in for you.

Give me a second.

I'll put that right through, okay, man?

Yeah.

Okay.

Hang on, everybody.

We have Recluid online.

Yeah, the PCU.

This is the PCU.

Fuck this.

Hang on, everybody.

We're drunk again.

I'm drunk.

I'm high as fuck.

Caleb, you're working for PCU.

You have nine cents.

Will allow you to talk for an empty.

My desk, Ian?

Yes.

I must speak to him immediately, please.

Who am I speaking with, sir?

I'm not sure I can disclose that.

That's a very important matter, sir.

I need to speak to Ahmed Yassin right away, please.

Ahmed Mohamed.

Okay, it says right here in the paper, A-H-M-E-D.

Ah.

Okay?

Yep.

Okay, so I need that person right away.

No, I'm not Ahmed.

I'm Mohamed.

Okay.

Okay, well, you're just going to have to answer some questions real quick.

Sure.

What's going on overseas?

I'm talking about the credit.

What do you think is happening overseas?

Why don't you tell me in your own words?

Sure.

Be honest.

But the Lingo account that I called in today to cancel it today because of...

No, this is, this is, no, no, no, this is something a little more deep than that.

We're not talking about credit cards.

Very serious.

Oh, no, you're not going to get off that easy.

Okay, we're trying to do, we're trying to do everything we can to keep them at bay.

Do you realize that?

We're trying to keep them...

Russians, the Russians are upset.

They keep them at peace.

I'm telling you, it's not that easy.

I need you to tell me everything.

Do anything.

All what happened is that, is that I did have an account on the, on the Lingo.

Google, Google, is the voice over IP in their name?

In their name?

You say, explain that to me.

My information and everything.

Very new there.

Well, you better.

I mean, you're going to have to give it to the next person who calls anyway, so.

Might as well go ahead and give it to me now.

I mean, we've already, now wait a minute.

We got all this right here.

We just need, the thing I'm trying to find out.

Yes.

Is we're just trying to find out what exactly, what happened with the Russians.

That's all we want to know.

We need to know, like, every detail of contact with the Russians, starting from Russia.

We know about the computers and what you've been doing, so, I mean, that's what we're trying to find out about.

We're trying to just get the...

Okay, sure, sure.

Okay, I just want to understand, because I'm not Ahmed, I'm Mohammed.

No, that's fine.

No, I understand, but go ahead.

Okay.

Basically, I got to know someone through the Internet.

His name is Talal, but he's not in Russia.

Okay.

He told me that we can have, like, a business, like a phone business.

Basically, what he told me is that he has, like, international lines.

He has a contract with a phone company that he can actually,

that actually I have to send him a language device

that would actually bring, like, customers from America

and, like, register business and everything

and have him contact and have, like, my customers contact that device,

that language device, and then through that language device,

basically, you connect them to, like, back home, our country.

This is crazy, you know.

You know, we can't, I mean, this is, that's what, the embassy is going to give you a call.

That's right.

This is really, I mean, this is really serious.

Because that's a major, I mean, oh, God.

What's happening?

Especially in a time like this, I mean, this is a crazy, crazy, crazy thing.

Well, you know, I understand, I mean, I understand, you know, I feel you, that you might be innocent.

But, you know, the judges, I don't know what they're going to think, you know.

What did they do?

Am I in trouble?

Well, yes.

What did they do, sir?

They just violated international law.

I really don't know anything about that, sir.

Well, ignorance of the law is no excuse.

I mean, I have to come down.

I'm going to get a hand release, you know.

I mean, that's exactly what's going to happen.

What I'm talking about, I mean, well, you're going to get a call just a little bit from the embassy.

Okay.

I don't know how to put this to you, but, I mean, you might as well just, you know, pack your bags.

Pack your stuff.

No, they're going to come get you.

Don't worry.

It's coming over.

I mean, that's all there is to it.

What did they do?

What did I do?

You know what I'm saying?

I'm going to connect you with somebody.

One second.

I'm going to explain it a little bit to you.

what we're going to do is we're going to have somebody from uh the russian embassy explain this

to you because the man was not from i was from russia you you i think you haven't misunderstood

i mean maybe he lied to you but this this is what we're talking about post-cold war i mean

you know what i'm saying those connect you like it let me get you what what is the problem look

my name is vladimir let me see he tell you americans what is this serious

national waters what what about uh tell you what mr yassin we know about your plans we have been

in Chechnya many years.

And we are not...

That was another great prank, dude.

That was fucking hilarious.

He is pissing his pants.

Oh, my God.

He's running away.

I was, like, scared to death, man.

I was like, I don't know how I kept that up

and I'm fucking high as a kite.

What did I do?

I usually do a good Russian,

but I don't know.

I couldn't get in a character.

Damn it.

That was great.

That was pretty funny, though.

He's like...

He's thinking he's starting a war or something.

I said that to international waters, bud.

I was messaging you to tell him that we were going to deflate that, make him think that he was starting a war or something like that.

I don't know if impersonating a Russian ambassador might be something you can't do.

I'm burping.

Excuse me.

I'm tricking you.

I didn't even say who I was.

Not one time did he ask, who are you?

He freaked out, though.

He didn't say my name on that call.

Yeah, exactly.

Exactly.

Yeah.

The guy's like rotted, like he's calling his, like, bomb squad.

Exactly.

They're coming, huh, he?

He's calling all credit.

Run!

He's calling all credit.

They know about the credit card.

He's going, like, he's going to go into, like, the underground railroad.

Exactly.

Underground railroad.

Chechnya, he freaked out.

I don't know.

Maybe the guy's in the Chechen rebel stuff.

I don't know, man.

That was crazy shit.

Anyway.

Excalibur is in a chair and was saying I should ask if he has a towel nearby.

No, no, no, no.

That's bad.

I was about to say, what was I about to say?

I interrupted you, I'm sorry.

Anyway, very well done, man.

That was very well done.

Yeah, it was a funny call.

It's good, man.

I know it was a good night in the show.

Two or three.

All the blacks are just funny.

Yeah, exactly.

You can't beat blacks, man.

It's hard to get blacks.

Like I said, they don't answer block numbers normally, so that worked out perfectly.

Yeah, but they're probably high as hell and shit.

Exactly.

They're just sitting over there and they're just like, oh, they probably think it's somebody in town or something.

What was that?

Some dude, probably in Dearborn or something like that.

Oh, motherfuckers.

Yeah, you know how it is.

Well, that's cool.

Well, hey, Rick, thank you very much.

And you know what?

Guess what?

I promised on your show I was quitting weed two nights tonight.

It's been 48 hours since I last choked up.

I don't know how I'm doing it, but I'm doing it, man.

I tried it, but then, like, my dude had...

My excuse is always, like, call the guy.

You know what I mean?

I'm always trying to find an excuse.

But this time, we'll see how I do it.

I'm drinking though, I can drink still.

We'll do that. I might pick up smoking cigarettes.

No, I'm kidding, I can't do that.

Athena's not smoking cigarettes. Nah, we don't need that.

That guy's running for the border now, man.

He's packing up, he's...

I said, why pack your bag, son? I don't know how to break it to you.

Exactly, he's ready to fly back to...

To jail, motherfucker! You're going to jail!

You're going to Gu...

Hey, that's where he's headed to.

I don't know, come and tell me.

Hey, buddy, you're gonna have to come up the next flight to Guantanamo Bay, motherfucker!

Yeah, you should call my bag saver.

Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, something like that.

We're gonna call, like, you know what we should do? We should call, like, places in, like, you know, like, in L.A.

Yeah.

What the shit?

Did he support your front door head?

Regulation, INS is over.

Alright, man, so Tuesday night, for everybody to know, Tuesday night you'll be on 10 p.m. as normal, right?

What's that now? 10 p.m.?

Once I get done with this band shit, dude, I'm gonna be, like, fucking on all the time.

Awesome.

Like, no, not all the time, but, like, earlier at least, some more hours.

Exactly, yeah.

I'm short.

For the time being, at some point on Tuesday night, you're gonna be on, right?

All right, Tuesday night hand release.

Probably about a couple hours, yeah, and then it'll be nice.

I'm fucked up.

I'm sure I'm going to have a week.

Don't run out, man.

Hey, man, I just need to get some more.

Fuck it.

Thank you very much.

I'll take it here.

All right, man.

Reclude, everybody.

Thank you very much for calling in.

Reclude.

Reclude, the host of the Tuesday night hand release.

What the hell is this?

This isn't no goddamn...

No, it's not.

Okay, let's see who this is.

Hey, did you get that song I sent you?

You're in a madhouse.

Hey.

Hey, man.

What?

Thank you very much.

I'm calling from overseas.

Oh, hey.

Let me ask you a question.

Where are you from?

You're from Mandova.

Where is it again?

I'm sorry.

It's Mandova.

Mandova.

Where is it?

It's a country between Romania and Ukraine.

Oh, my God.

Between Romania and Ukraine?

Yeah.

That's crazy.

Were you a Soviet bloc country at some point?

Oh, on a great job.

I don't know how to explain it.

My English is so loud.

Great.

We're doing our best to change our mood.

Thank you very much.

To help you, Biden, for you, how can I help you with that?

We got funding.

All you have to do if you want to help me is do it right now for the show, if you don't mind.

A promotion.

Can you do that for me?

Yes, I can do it.

Okay.

How can I make it?

Just say, give us your name, say, I'm so-and-so, and I'm listening to the Madhouse from...

From wherever.

Yeah.

On PC radio.

From Moldova.

It's a country between Ukraine and Romania.

It's a great show.

Come on, listen, enjoy your time.

Thank you very much for doing your best, really.

Thank you very much, sir.

Now, tell me, a former Soviet bloc country, how old are you?

I'm 29 years.

29 years.

So you were around, you remember the whole Soviet thing, right?

Was it shitty?

Yeah.

Are you better off now than you were back then?

I mean, I know the job situation is probably worse now, right?

Yeah, the situation is horrible now.

Maybe before, you know, the government once saw everything was going better.

Some Americans, we even see black people.

Wow.

Black people here, yeah?

Which is wonderful, you know?

It's the old collage.

One day you'll be a Puerto Rican and that's when it's over.

You might not know what a Puerto Rican is, but eventually you'll find out.

That is funny.

Very much truly.

From now on, I would like to thank my friend Ron.

I just got to know him today and he said, come to this show.

It's wonderful.

And now we have just listening to you.

You're killing us, guys.

We love it.

Great.

Hey, keep listening.

Tell all your friends.

And we hope you're more than willing to be on here on our show, on the Madhouse.

We appreciate you.

We'll do a call with you.

Sure.

Sure, brother.

Sure.

Okay, my friend.

Thank you very much.

Goodbye.

Wow.

That's awesome, man.

We're totally international.

I've never...

I've heard of Moldova.

Yeah, Moldova, yeah.

I thought it was like the Maldives.

Isn't that some island somewhere?

The Maldives?

No, Mald...

Yeah, that's something else.

That's not even the same.

This is a country here in Europe, what he's talking about.

In Eastern Europe.

Imagine that, man.

That's crazy.

We're all over.

We're in former Soviet countries.

How the world has changed in 10 years.

I can be talking to people who used to be under communist rule.

Yeah.

That's incredible, man.

Birdshit head.

Yeah.

Yeah, Zaga Birdshedhead used to be their master, not anymore.

He did a lot of good, good things, man.

He did.

He's the one that killed it.

Him and Reagan both did it, and the Pope, and MTV.

Yeah.

Yep.

All right, well, hey, guess what?

I got to pee.

So we're going to get back to pranking here.

Pee for Putin.

Yeah, we're going to do a few more calls.

Did you get that song I sent you?

Yes, I did.

Play that, man.

All right, but it's good, man.

You're not shitting me here, are you?

No, it's a song about, okay, what it is, is there's a big movement here, a rally, to get rid of Bush.

It's called Drive Out the Bush Regime, The World Can't Wait.

In six days, they're going to begin the end of the Bush regime.

And there's a song that was done about the movie 1984.

You remember the movie 1984, George Orwell?

Yeah, where everybody didn't have their rights, and the guy's running away.

Right, they watched everything you did, they knew everything.

thing well this song is a parody but it's bringing bush and how how it is uh affecting us today with

what the regime is doing okay all right well i have to find that here though real quick

song for freedom song for freedom song for freedom it's called 1984 okay give me a second i'll get

that on here i gotta set up the break to shit i'm never on time and i apologize everybody that i

usually have my um my break set up nicely this is going to be a repeat of a break if let me keep

Stop explaining.

It'll be...

The break that you're going to hear

is going to be songs you've probably heard before.

Before...

Previously on our break,

so I apologize ahead of time.

Let me load that up here.

Boom, boom, boom.

I don't know where that went.

Shit.

Put that over here instead.

Okay, there's that.

And...

Damn it.

So anticlimactic.

I'm sorry, everybody.

Give me a second here.

You sent that on AIM.

Madhouse Radio.

Going back.

Solar Vision.

I can't find it.

Damn it, man.

What was the name of the file?

What's it called?

1984.

Dot mpg.

Nineteen eighty-four dot mpg.

There it is.

All right, this better be good.

This is a song, right?

I can play it for the break?

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah, it's real music.

Okay, cool.

All right, here it comes, everybody.

I'll be right back after this.

It is now midnight.

It is now Friday.

You made it to the weekend.

Congratulations, you bastards.

Yeah.

It's almost time for the weekend.

Well, it is the weekend.

I considered this the weekend, so thank you for joining in.

Bear with us during the break.

I'll be right back.

We'll get to more prank calls, and we'll call it a night.

Well, we have plenty of show left, and we'll be right back in a moment.

You're listening to The Madhouse on PC.

Madhouse will be back right after this.

Stuff going on in the chat room, huh?

Yeah, baby.

Yeah, what's with all the... I was telling Athena now, what's with all the fucking...

Dude, man, it's coming down. They're guilty, man.

I mean, we've always known it, but thank God, you know, they're going to prove it.

Well, it's like Athena's explaining to me now.

He doesn't really have anything to lose at this point.

I mean, he's not up for re-election or anything, but shit.

Well, of course he does. Yes, he does.

He has his reputation.

I don't understand.

The whole thing he's wanting to do is continue this Republican neocon stranglehold

and the corporate control war.

He's losing all that now.

Yeah, well, it's like Sean Ward said.

Legacy will be he destroyed it.

Yeah, well, yeah, exactly.

It's like Sean Ward said.

I said, you had Clinton come in there and try to change all, you know, run the government, you know, completely different in a different way.

A health program?

Come on.

And they put the same goddamn people in charge.

I had $180 to get my eyes looked at.

Now, that's ridiculous.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

No, no, no.

Don't get me started on the state of the medical industry now because I'll get angry.

I hate that shit.

I mean, that was the kind of thing that Clinton was trying to straighten out.

Like, Canada's got universal health care.

And what happened?

Yeah.

I mean, why can't we?

We can.

I guess we can.

You can go over there and buy cheap medicine, like a third of what we pay here.

Yeah.

No, I guess it makes sense that the poor can't get a quality heart surgery,

and it makes sense that I have to pay $150 to get an MRI.

How about $60 to fill up my damn tank?

Exactly.

$60 a damn gallon?

Exactly.

And fucking, hey, well, hey, you know what?

Exxon Mobil.

All the refineries are up working and everything.

Yeah, but you know what? ExxonMobil, what do they post? A 61, some kind of record?

I don't even want to start it, man. I just get angry.

We get all profished.

Yeah, record profit for ExxonMobil, despite the fact that we're going through all this shit.

September 2nd, mobilize.

What are you going to do, man? I'm telling you, it's the fall of Rome. It's going to happen.

It's going to happen. I hate to say it, but the way shit's going now, I don't know what to say, man.

I don't know what to say. Anyway, enough of that, because we're going to alienate people already.

It's overdue. I'm out of Babylon.

along we've lost seven people during the break so uh we need to get back to calling people that's

all right because because let's let's be nice let's be nice now republic i'm sure there's at

least one republican listening and they're not that i hate republicans i just hate the religious

right god damn it oh man and i you know there's a difference now that's finally coming out yeah

the religious knuckleheads and and the actual republicans are actually two separate beings

things in one party. That's the truth right there. There's a difference between the religious

conservative right and Republicans. And the thing is, the goddamn religious people, the

religious right gets in there and they just want to take over. And they want to take over.

And they want to push their ballots and push their views on everybody. And they'll do whatever

it takes. And they're self-righteous and they say it's in the name of God, blah, blah, blah.

My ass is in the name of God. That's all that matters. Bullshit. God doesn't care.

Yeah, and God doesn't care about gays either.

If God cared about gays and, God damn it, in the Bible, Jesus would have said something about homosexuals.

Where in the Bible, you tell me, where in the goddamn Bible does Jesus say anything about homosexuals?

Where?

Jesus don't say nothing about it.

He didn't say anything.

If it was such a big goddamn deal, then he would have said something about it.

That's how I see it.

It's in the Old Testament.

Exactly.

That's where that stuff is about lying with a brother.

For the most part, the Old Testament is null and void.

It is.

Jesus came in.

That's the covenant.

He rewrote everything

He said love your neighbor

He didn't come out and say

Anything about homosexuality

You know what

Because it's not a fucking problem

It's not a big fucking deal people

Get over it

Making mountains out of

Molehill out of bullshit

Who fucking cares who you sleep in

What's your sexual preferences

I'm not interested in it

I'm not either

I don't know

Why hate

You know what

I sleep with my guitar every night

If you really want to know

You're a goddamn guitar fucker

And you're going to hell

He's got a hole in the middle of it

Whatever floats your boat

Do what you want

Jesus Christ

You know what

All this shit has turned me off

In the last 10 years of my life

I slowly and slowly

I turn my back on my own religion

Of Catholicism

Because I get tired of them talking about

How women don't have the right to make a choice

To end a life

And how people are going to hell

for further sexual preference, whatever.

Now I'm just turned off

for religion as it is.

Well, look at all them damn priests.

They're the ones that are doing all the damn pedo shit anyway.

Exactly. The system's all fucked up.

And you don't throw rocks in glass houses.

And you just behave yourself as what you need to.

Anyway, whatever. I digress.

It is now 12.13.

Yes, my clock is four minutes fast.

I just realized.

You are hot for a call.

Maybe we ought to call Nautica.

She doesn't want to talk to me anymore.

She's upset at me.

I'll take his piss

I'd call

We gotta call

You gotta call Miss Mary

For the night's over

Yeah you know

Let me call her early

Last time I woke her up

And I felt bad

Yeah

Do you think I should call her

Maybe

I'll get you the number right now

Yeah call her shit

She likes you

Don't worry

You're her adopted son

I've gotta hear somewhere

You've gotta tell her

That you made it

Through the hurricane

I gotta hear

I got Mary Menzies here

Don't worry about it

Okay

Let's call her real quick

Let's talk to her

For a little bit

And see what's up with her

This will lighten it up

Yeah it'll lighten

Let's lighten things up

And then we'll get

We'll get to a few prank calls, and we'll call it a night, probably around 1245 or so.

We'll give you another half hour, 45 minutes, so stay with us, please.

If you want to call in, by all means, call in toll-free, 888-278-8509.

You notice that the minute I finally got my ass out of my head, got my head out of my ass, I should say,

and figured out that the phone line wasn't working, the phone was ringing off the hook.

Yeah, man, you couldn't get it to stop.

Yeah, exactly.

Exactly. So if you want to call in, now's your time.

By all means, the lines are free, 888-278-8509.

Milkman, if you don't mind posting that in the chat room for me while I get this call going.

And that's toll free, free of charge.

If you don't mind and if you haven't yet, please visit kdkprankcalls.com.

That is the home for our good friend, KDK, who is the owner and our inspiration for the station that you're listening to now,

PCU Radio, Prank Call Underground Radio.

Our proud sponsor.

Our proud sponsor, exactly.

Also, please visit SeanWard.net.

That's for the Sunday night show, which is on at 9 p.m. Eastern.

Sean Ward, who had a great show, by the way, last Sunday on his return.

Oh, that was a rabble-rabble.

Yep, Old Mabel returned.

turned. Of course, tomorrow night you can hear

Zolar, Zolar Vision.

Actually, what is it? Zogo Vision?

Special edition Zogo Vision.

Featuring Zolar Vision

at the new studios

of Dr. Lego and all

the insane it's going to pursue.

My God. Exactly. And Dr. Lego

of course, as you call him, the voice of

PCU, the man who provides us with our

server space for, well actually

where you're listening to us right now on PCU Radio.

Our shoutcast. Our shoutcast server.

Who is also a

A featured co-host

Practically he runs

Billy Mara

Yeah Billy's not in that much

So you know

What's up with Billy

I mean he's funny and all

But I don't think he likes to prank calls

You know he said himself

He's busy working on his career

That's number one for Bill

Yeah well he's good

There's nothing wrong with that

He's done stuff recently on Saturday Night Live

He did some voices on

Right

Yeah

I don't have nothing against that

No no

It's just a lot of times though

They ought to call it Dr. Legos

Prank the world, exactly

Yeah, prank the world

Well, yeah, you can visit Lego at

Pranktheworld.com

You can visit Billy Mira at

Billy Mira, that's B-I-L-L-Y-M-I-R-A

Excuse me, Billy Mira

Comedy.com

And, um, Reclude

He doesn't have one, he has Reclude.com

But I don't think it's working yet

He's got something on there, he's got some music shit

But Reclute is on Tuesday nights

Usually at 10pm

7pm whatever

If you tune in you'll find out

He's probably going to be on at 10pm

For the time being

That's a Tuesday night hand release

Like I said Billy Mira is on here

Along with Dr. Lego and assorted others

8pm Eastern

On PCU Radio

Saturday nights

I'm all out of order

I'm confusing everybody

Saturday nights is the staple show of the network

work. That is KDK's

Lunatic Fringe, 10pm

Eastern, here on PCU.

Wednesday night,

KDK also returns for a

non-prank call show, which

is also very good. Last night was a very good show, like you said.

That's at 10pm as well.

Again, that's

KDK's Psychobabble

at 10pm Eastern, Wednesday

nights, and you can always visit us here

as you are tonight, Thursday nights at 10pm

Eastern Standard Time.

I don't know. 9.15pm.

Again, usually 9.15, probably more like 9.30 Eastern Standard Time for the Madhouse.

Also, be sure to visit madhouselive.com.

Again, that's madhouselive.com.

If this is your first time or one of your first times listening to the show,

be sure to visit madhouselive.com and get your fix on the plethora of prank calls that are on there,

which haven't been updated since, like, September 13th.

I really need to get in there and edit some of the better calls that I've had.

So those are all what, Carly?

Those are all free MP3s that the listeners can download and enjoy at their leisure?

Free MP3s of calls and free MP3s of show archives.

Yes, I know you're surprised.

Oh, my gosh.

I know you're finally hearing this for the first time, I'm sure.

I'm so retarded that I can't remember much more than a couple sentences of what you said.

Who is this?

I'm KDK, as a matter of fact.

Hello.

Okay, hi, Keith.

Hey, a little big shout-out.

Let me do a big shout-out there.

Madman also.

Madman does our terrific hosting right here in our chat room.

He's got irclazy-net.de.

You can go check it out.

He's got some fantastic web hosting prices there, too.

You're going to die.

Okay, good deal.

Yeah, share that with everybody.

And, of course, Satan in the chat room.

Let me go ahead and go to the chat room real quick,

give a shout-out to everybody who's in there for joining us in.

You can go to kdkprankcalls.com to join in the madness in the chat room for the PCU stream.

Give a shout-out real quick to Saiyan, of course, as I said.

We've got Mad Men in there, Milkman in there as well.

RekLoot is in there.

I, myself, and KDK.

To the regulars here for PCU, Ben Luton is in there.

We've got Cerebus, Chainsaw, DaDead.

DaDead is crazy.

DaDead cracks me up.

Lonesome Loser is in there, of course.

Of course, DTT, Superfan is in there as well.

I've got some new people in there, DARS, Estimated Profit.

I don't know how to pronounce that.

Yeah, he's been active tonight.

Yeah, well, welcome in.

Excalibur's in there, Jay Nefarious, Mr. James Nefarious.

I haven't heard from Megs in a very long time.

I wonder what's up with her.

She's probably behind the keyboard because I think JNF usually grabs the keyboard,

and she only gets on whenever he's either asleep or AFK.

I hope they're still okay.

That's the power couple.

couple yeah joel killer california who's your sidekick chuck yeah uh your sidekick chuck's in

there who's a friend of right he helps zola out a lot he put up that that uh um what the hell did

he put up in the chat he put up uh uh zolar vision wallpaper up too recently i think that was today

right he put up a zola i know you don't you don't check the phone so much right you're not active in

that i i hadn't checked him today i was busy trying to get my computer running right and

there's my there's our buddy there uh tucker tucker yeah tucker's in there old tucker mike

Mike, man, he's got a great site, too, man.

He's a good artist.

Yeah, exactly.

You've got Tug Fasers in there.

Faser, who came through with that excellent call that we did with Reckless and myself to the Russian deal.

You've got someone from the X3N clan's in there, Evil Donner.

He's in DeLand, Florida.

That's the leader of the clan.

Yeah, oh, that's cool.

He's actually, I believe he's the one from DeLand, right?

Yeah, he's the guy from, he's about, he's from, pretty much he's from my hometown,

which is really cool when I saw him.

I was like, wow, man, you're like from my hometown that I grew up in.

That's really cool to meet someone like that.

Of course, my girlfriend, Athena, is in there monitoring,

making sure I'm not flirting with anybody, any of the guys in there.

She's laughing.

Stop that.

Now I mean it.

We've got Spoongebob and Darius Slyam and Silver Kaz.

Everybody, thank you very much for joining in.

And we've got another call here live.

Let's go ahead and take that real quick.

You're on the mat.

Yes, my God.

Damn luck.

You're on the mat.

Dubbed it.

Jerk it.

Go.

Get it off.

Hurry up.

Get that hand release.

How much?

Are you going to go?

Are you anti-Bush?

Anti-Bush?

Yeah, anti-Bush.

Yeah, I didn't vote for him last time.

I would have voted for the other guy.

I'll admit.

Oh, I'm not a fan of Bush.

I'll admit that I did vote for Bush in 2000.

I'm embarrassed to say it, but it's the truth.

But I don't support him now.

I don't support him now.

The only Bush we like is between a girl's legs.

Dude, you know what this is.

Germany's got some weird stuff going on.

They've got, like, half Nazis over there still, man.

I don't know.

And even the French have Nazis there, too, still.

And we have the Nazis.

We still have the Nazis.

Yeah, I'm sure they still exist, yeah.

Yeah, a lot of them came to America.

Actually, you know what?

The NASA, for the most part, NASA was run by ex-Nazi rocket engineers

who were captured after World War II and were brought to America to help us in the space race.

As a matter of fact, what is it, Von Braun, is that the name of the guy?

That's the guy.

Yeah, the Titan.

the titan

he went to the moon

exactly

he was a member of the

exactly and his

work that put Jews

and slavery work to build these rockets

and rocket planes and stuff to bomb

New York that they never got a chance to do

and the first jet planes that were ever built

by the Nazis and everything

that same work went into creating

the ICBMs, the nuclear ICBMs

and the Cold War

and the rockets that put man

put man on the moon, if you want to believe.

I don't know any more.

A lot of people say it was all fake about putting man on the moon.

I don't know.

Yeah, that's true.

Yeah.

Do you know that South America, Argentina, everything,

yeah, they're always saying, yeah, people in South America,

and every once in a while they get extradited to Israel or Germany,

and they get tried on war crimes.

They're all dying, but every once in a while you hear one being found and extradited.

You even hear about them being caught here in America, actually, getting extradited.

But I know a few of them have actually been taken to Israel, tried, and have been found guilty and everything.

What's that movie by, who's that guy?

There was a movie that I saw, was it App Pupil, where they talked about that?

I think there was a movie where they were, it came out in 98, I think, or 99, App Pupil.

It was a book by, who was the guy that did the Pet Sematary, I forget his name now.

Who the hell is that faggot?

No, I'm sorry.

Stephen King?

Stephen King.

I don't know.

Check it out.

I think it's called App Pupil.

I think it's Stephen King, yeah.

Like King?

King.

Okay.

You know who Stephen King is.

The movie's at...

Yeah, I know.

I believe it's at Pupil.

That's really interesting.

That's an interesting Nazi movie.

What else?

What is the one with the guy?

Who's the...

No, there's that Nazi movie, American History X.

That's an awesome movie right there, too.

That deals with Nazis.

Yeah, that's the skinhead movie.

I never seen this.

Oh, American History X is an awesome...

Dude, that is a good movie, man.

And you got to see, there's a scene in it where black people try to break into the skinhead's house.

And he totally fucks them up.

Yeah, you got to check that out, man.

Yeah, rent that.

Rent that.

American History X.

That's got James and James.

I'm going to go to Hollywood, then.

Yeah.

Hollywood.

Is it James Norton?

That's the guy, right?

James Norton from Fight Club?

Yeah, he's in it.

I don't know.

Okay.

Yeah, all right, anyway.

And James Norton and the guy, the kid from Terminator 2 is in it, too.

Awesome.

Check it out.

Anyway.

What's up with you?

Yeah, um, we cut the blockbusters.

I would venture into an argument with them.

They blacklisted me because I didn't return a movie because I didn't feel like it, basically.

So I can't go over there anymore to rent.

And, uh, blockbusters suck.

So, actually, I'm strictly Netflix right now, and I love it.

I did the switch to Netflix, and I won't go back.

I'll be honest with you.

They have a better selection anyway, and I just burn movies now.

So, fuck blockbusters is what I've got to say.

You like to get...

I use, um, is it DVD?

I'll tell you in a second.

I've got to pull up.

Uh, yeah, I use DVD strings.

Yeah, when DVD shrink doesn't work, I use DVD decrypter, but 90% of the time I use DVD shrink, that's right.

Yeah, it's a nice freeware utility.

It is, it is. It's hard to find now, but it's very nice.

You go to, I forgot the website, I don't know, altavisa.com, I don't know, there's a website out there.

DVD shrink.com, or you, they don't host it anymore on their site.

Yeah, after you go to afterdon.com, afterdon.com.

Because Cuckoo is all...

Exactly.

DVD shrink is dead.

Thank you very much for calling in, man.

Always appreciate it.

Yeah, you did.

Oh, no, no.

You did, too.

You did.

Don't even talk to me, man.

I like it when you call in.

It's great.

It's good that you're calling into the shows now.

It's very good.

Yeah, I know.

I like it when you guys call in.

I'm sorry you can't go.

What do I think about Prankmaster?

From what I hear about what happened last night, I didn't hear it firsthand, but I

trust everybody saying that he admitted to it about the whole thing, so it's all coming

together.

I don't condone abusing children.

He's been banned from the chat room.

He's been banned.

They're attempting to ban him, I guess, from listening to the stream for the most part.

I'm not going to have him on because I can't.

I mean, I can't.

If everybody's against him, if KDK's against him, if Solar's against him,

I'm not going to be putting some guy on who nobody wants to be on.

You know what I mean?

I'm not going to piss everybody off just to make him happy

and make a few other people happy who might support him.

I mean, I don't have a personal problem with him,

of what he did is true um i i can't condone it and you know i can't have him on you know what

i mean i know you don't appreciate it now i know you're a guy i don't again dude i will

yeah exactly it's an endless cycle yeah it's an endless cycle for sure for sure man well hey you

know what for the most part it's over i don't think we're going to be hearing him of him ever

again yeah who cares it's like you it's dead you know what i mean and for the most part it's been

been going on for six seven whatever how many weeks has been going on i think it's it's it's

dead and buried for the most part like exactly ignorance is bliss you know what i mean it never

happened it's over yeah all right man pretend that he never exactly that's exactly what we

need to do don't worry about man and you know what in a month we'll we won't even we'll be like

yeah nobody can even know him or nobody can exactly all right my man well hey thank you

very much for calling in pleasure to talk to you take care yeah peace to death peace to death

All right, excellent.

The Dead calling in.

Thank you very much.

Yay.

It's always good to hear from him.

Yeah.

All right, so what was I doing again?

We were going to call Mary.

We were going to call Miss Mary before we ran out of time here because it's starting to get late.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, man.

Okay.

Fuck your life.

Shut the fuck up.

God damn it.

Nothing ever works right here.

Okay, Gina Ferris.

James is telling me Meg has optical neuritis, which I have no idea what that is.

Oh, gosh.

It sounds serious.

Hopefully, she will get better, but it could be something permanent.

Inflammation of her eye.

She could go blind.

Oh, my God.

Athena, do you know what optical neuritis is?

That's not what your dad has, right?

Okay.

All right.

Well, we want to give a shout-out to Meg.

She has optical neuritis.

Hopefully, she'll get better.

According to James, it could be something permanent.

So we give her a shout-out, of course.

Yes, we give a big shout-out to Meg, and she's in our thoughts.

All our prayers out to you, man.

Most definitely, everybody.

All our prayers and thoughts out to Meg and to James.

Hopefully she feels better.

Most definitely.

I'm sorry to hear that.

No wonder I haven't heard from you.

No wonder she ain't been around.

Exactly, man.

I was wondering what was up with her.

Well, that's very sad.

I'm sure everything will work out.

If not, then your thoughts and prayers are with us.

We're here for anything we can do for you, James.

Anything you need, by all means.

And Meg's also, if you're listening.

Let us know.

We'll be here for you.

Okay.

Call in if you feel like making a laugh.

Exactly.

Yeah, we'll do what we can.

You know, sometimes a laugh is the best cure.

It is.

Yeah, maybe KDK has been known to cure people, as a matter of fact.

He has.

So, hey, try that.

Try that way.

Okay, let me get back to Miss Mary.

Let's try to call Miss Mary real quick.

We'll call her.

We'll get a few more calls in.

I got, I don't think, Lonesome's in the chat room, but I don't think he's been able to confirm.

He might be busy.

But we'll try at least one or two more calls.

If you have any numbers that you want me to try, now would be the time before we end the show here pretty quickly.

Say that to me, AOL Instant Messenger, Madhouse Radio, Yahoo Users, Madhouse, PCU Radio.

And even if I'm not in the air, by all means, add me to your Betty list.

Talk to me if you want to just talk PCU or just talk about what's going on, any ideas, any suggestions for the show.

Also, if you want to email the show with your own prank calls,

You can email him to KDK.

I forget his Gmail account.

I'm sure it's on the website.

Or if you'd like me to play them for you, by all means go ahead.

You can reach me at madhouseradio at gmail.com.

Again, all this information is on our website, madhouselive.com,

on the Listen, Join link at the top right-hand corner of the page.

So if you have your own prank calls, if you have the ability to record them

and you want to share them with us or with KDK, let us know.

Send them to us.

We'll be happy to play it.

As long as it's good

We'll give you your shot

And if you want to call in

By all means you can also

Just like the dead

888-278-8509

Let's go ahead and call our good friend

The mother of the madhouse

As I like to think of her

Miss Mary Menzies

In the Virgin Islands

An island woman who always never has a problem

Even when I woke up at 1.30am last time

She was willing to talk to me

She was like oh no I'll talk to you

She didn't want to pray with me though

So, damn it, man.

Okay.

Hang on, everybody.

If I get some music on.

You have to have her do a prank with you one time.

Call me.

She probably won't.

She'll probably be against that.

She's too Christian.

But, yeah, let's give her a call, and then we'll come back to you.

That's wrong.

How do you know that's wrong?

Yeah.

All right.

We'll give her a call, and then we'll do maybe a few more prank calls, and we'll call

her tonight.

Thank you for hanging in there, everybody.

We'll be right back in just a moment.

Hello.

Can I speak with Ms. Mary, please?

Huh?

Mary?

Huh?

Mary, how you doing?

Okay.

It's Carlito.

How are you doing tonight?

All right.

Did I wake you up again?

Mm-hmm.

Well, I keep waking you up.

You want me to stop calling you this late?

Should I call you earlier from now on or what?

Okay.

It's okay.

Well, I don't mean to wake you up and all, but I just want to let you know don't worry.

I thank you for your prayers.

I made it through the hurricane okay and everything.

Okay.

We're here.

We're safe.

How's everything over there?

We're over here fine.

All right.

That's good.

Did you go?

I had a lot of fun.

Yeah?

Good.

You been going to church?

Yeah.

Good.

How was church last week?

Very good.

Very good?

Just good or very good?

Very good?

Well, that's good.

I'm going to let you go back to sleep.

I didn't mean to wake you up, man.

All right.

Well, look, I'll tell you what.

I'll talk to you next week.

I'll try to call you a little earlier so I don't wake you up, all right?

All right.

Then you get some sleep, all right?

Okay.

All right.

I love you.

All right.

I just feel bad when I wake up.

She loves you, too, Carly.

Yeah, she finally said she loves me.

That's so great, man.

Yeah.

This is great, because I normally don't talk to my mom, and I need to get my mom fixed.

I normally don't talk to my mom on Thursdays, because I'm always doing the show when she normally calls me.

Right, right.

Right, right, right.

She's like our adopted mother.

She's adopted the man out.

That's right.

All the cuckoos that hang out here.

Okay.

Exactly.

Okay, so I'm looking at Madman's webpage here.

He's got hosting, what, 12 gigabyte data transfers?

You see that price?

For $3.95.

$3.95.

What?

You can't beat that.

You see what you get?

They're crazy.

That's crazy.

What doesn't, you know, what did that sound like?

Yeah, I told somebody four bucks, and they said, what, four bucks?

I said, all right, actually, $3.95.

Wow.

They said, well, that's more like it.

That's even better.

Yeah, that's five cents cheaper than what you were saying.

I said, well, yeah, that nickel meant something back in 1932.

Hell, yeah.

Well, you know how the gas stations do it, where they'll charge you $2.99.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Just to keep it under that $3 mark.

They'll do anything to keep it on that psychological marker.

You know what I mean?

Anyway, I digress.

Let's go ahead and you send me a number here sent by somebody.

Let me get back to it because I lost it.

Chris Campbell?

No, that's the person you're calling.

This is the number for Chris Campbell.

It's by estimated profit.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Some guy he knows from Florida.

From Florida?

Some kid from Florida.

I don't know.

He doesn't have much more information now.

He just knows him from the Internet.

that correct me if i'm wrong but are you sure about that zip code the area code 945 i think

that should be 954 i don't know that's what he sent i don't know you might got it wrong

you would know better i'm not in florida right now uh that's a south that's uh that's a fort

lauderdale number i think no that's uh okay what's for the south west palm beach for something like

that all right we'll try it uh you know what i don't think it's going to work though i think

that's the area of the state that has oh serious well i'll try but you know i'd work i've been

I've been trying to call West Palm Beach and Fort Lauderdale and Miami all week.

You can't get through, man.

I'll try it.

Hang on.

Oh, okay.

Let me try it.

I'm not against trying things.

954, that's right.

It is 954?

Yeah, you corrected it.

I doubt it'll work, but I'll try it.

Presidents?

Yes, it is.

Great.

This is Scott.

I'm calling you from FEMA.

Yes, sir.

This is Scott calling from FEMA.

Yes, sir.

Okay.

We got your claim here.

I'm afraid we're going to have to decline you for any type of aid.

You're actually going to have to return any type of aid you received here in the last few days.

You're not eligible for aid, sir.

You're not even an American citizen.

What the hell are you trying to do?

You might have the wrong number, sir.

No, no, no, no, no.

Look here.

We show you got some aid here for the story.

You're not eligible.

You're not an American citizen, and we're sick and tired of you damn Floridians trying to steal all the government money.

What the heck are you trying to do, boy?

What, you think you can buy a widescreen TV, a goddamn digital cable box, goddamn Pokemon cards?

What are you trying to buy? A brand new car? What the hell's wrong with you, boy?

That's what I'm trying to tell you.

You better give me my money back, Mr. Campbell.

You're stealing from the government. You're stealing from the baby's mouth.

There's plenty of Haitians down in Homestead that need this money.

It's funny, huh? It's funny, huh? You like stealing from the government?

Yo, where are you right now, man?

I'm in Washington, D.C. This is FEMA, Federal Emergency Management Agency.

Call on your cell phone.

Well, what the hell? Come on, now.

$1,218.25.

That's it?

That's a lot of spam.

That's a lot of spam to feed them hungry babies' mouths.

You think it's funny to take advantage of Hurricane Wilma?

How do you take advantage of Wilma?

Send another hurricane down there if you people don't get in shape.

I ain't laughing.

They'll make me send the Russians down there.

How are you doing with that, boy?

I'm actually doing pretty good.

My parents got hit pretty bad with it.

That's good.

I'm glad to hear that.

How's your house?

It's pretty good.

You have an apartment?

Yeah.

What kind of apartment?

Second floor?

Third floor?

You afraid of them winds?

You stayed with your parents, didn't you?

Did what?

You stayed with your parents, didn't you?

No, no, no.

Because you're afraid.

What, did you go to a shelter?

No, I stayed.

In your apartment, you stayed?

Yeah, I'm up in Tallahassee, though.

Tallahassee.

Tallahassee?

Yep.

That's your Fort Lauderdale.

Yeah, you live in a trailer park, damn it.

That's where I'm from, but I'm going to go there now.

Well, I'll tell you what.

We need you to go back down there.

We got a lot of branches that need to be moved.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, and matter of fact,

Jimmy Carter's on his way down.

He's going to build a few houses for Habitat for Humanity.

Uh-huh.

And you're drafted.

Oh, yeah?

You better get ready.

You got a good pair of work pants.

Get yourself some sandwiches and get down there.

We'll be at your house here tomorrow morning at 6 a.m.

You better get some sleep.

We're going to put you to work.

We ain't paying you to sit around your apartment masturbating to porn.

That's trying to get to work.

Jeb Bush needs you, boy.

That's how we do things here in Tallahassee.

I'm actually doing pretty good.

No, I said this is how we do things in Tallahassee.

If we don't play, you lazy bastard, either die or you better get out of state.

Take the bag from over your ears, boy.

Yeah, open your ears.

Listen to how things are going down now.

This family needs you.

We got plenty of trouble.

We need you to roll up your sleeves and go down there.

We need you to move ten branches out of the way,

and we need you to dig three underground toilets.

Because all the bushes are getting indicted.

Are you an American or not?

What's it going to be?

Yes, I'm an American.

All right.

Well, you ready to do some work then?

Some hard labor for your country?

Or are you going to be a pussy, huh?

Yes, sir.

You're a goddamn pussy on your head, huh?

Uh-huh.

Well, you're un-American.

All I got to say is move your ass to Georgia with all them other pussies.

Do you know why the Indian River flows north?

It tears, boy.

Why does it flow north?

Because Georgia sucks.

If you ain't going to work, get out of the goddamn state.

Get out of state.

We got a Humvee coming down.

Are you going to get on the Humvee, go down south to do some work,

Or are you going to get on the school bus and go up to Savannah, Georgia with all them other homos?

And then go to Guantanamo.

And you're lucky we don't send you to Guantanamo either.

Can I ask you this?

I told you this.

I forgot my name.

When I went to family,

Damn right.

So angry I forgot my name.

I'm going to go down there and push you around is what I'm going to do.

Must up your hair.

Put my hand down.

I'm going to put my hand down your pants.

That's right.

Yeah, that's right.

I know you like that.

You like the sound of that, boy?

You got any black in your family?

I don't know.

You sound like you do.

You guys going to sit there and not work?

Yep, pretty much.

Go to hell.

Get off my phone.

Hang up.

Hang up now.

Hang up before I get angry.

You don't want me angry.

That's the first in prank calls

Where the guy actually says hang the fuck

That's over

Okay

That was a good one

That was a try

I guess yeah he's got

He has a South Florida cell phone number

I guess he moved up to Tallahassee

You know what I bet you he's going to

What's in Tallahassee

FSU or UF Athena

Which

He's not going to 4AM

Because he's white

No no no

I think it's FSU

FSU

FSU and yeah

So he's probably going to FSU

His parents don't have a house then

That's crazy

What name did I say at first?

I forgot what my fucking name was.

I don't know.

I was getting into laughing at your accent.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

My accent.

Okay, let's do one more call.

Let's call the last number that I got confirmed, which is Mr. Dickie Tinkle in Tennessee.

It was confirmed about over an hour ago, so I doubt the guy's going to call.

But I'm getting ready to call at night because it's almost 1 o'clock.

So we'll try this.

Hopefully it works.

If not, we're going to have to call at night.

I'm sorry, everybody, but that's how it goes sometimes.

Last call tonight coming through in just one second.

Be right back with you guys.

You're listening to the Madhouse on, I don't know, what are we on, PCU?

Is that what it is?

PCU, damn it.

Is that what we're calling it now?

All right.

That's your PCU, god damn it.

All right.

You tell them.

Be right back.

Hang on, everybody.

That's right, Sonny.

Hello.

How you doing there, buddy?

What can I do for you?

Well, good afternoon.

Look, we're rounding up some people down south of Florida,

and we're going to do some work.

Want to know if you're in on there, Mr. Tinkle?

I doubt it.

We're looking for some experts like yourself, Mr. Tinkle.

Dig some toilets.

Yeah, we are.

Move around some porta-potties.

What, aren't you an American?

What's wrong with you?

What, are you some kind of Democrat?

Find your job, punk.

I'll get you.

I got your job right here.

I'll give you, uh, I got you a blowjob.

Who gives you a destination number now?

Fucking redneck bastard.

What a bitch.

Hillbilly, redneck ass, racist ass.

I didn't even want to work, damn it.

Whatever.

Yeah, he's a scam.

They're all talk.

All talk, man.

All talk.

A lot of blow.

No show.

Yep, exactly.

Just like, I don't want to get into it.

Well, you know what?

Milkman, it's been a great show.

I think I've done a great job, despite the fact that I knocked on the show the whole time.

I think we had some pretty decent calls, and I think I have some pretty good material to rip and make some upticks.

Those people you called, the collared people, oh, my God, that was great.

That was great.

Indeed, it was.

So I'm definitely going to try to get it on there.

And the Moldova, oh, my God, the international connection.

That was great, too.

That was great.

You got a primo out of that one, too.

Yay!

Exactly.

Well, as I said to everybody, continue listening to PCU.

Even when there's not a show on in the evenings,

you can hear the best selection of recorded prank calls on here 24 hours a day.

Other than that, be sure to check us out every evening.

evening um you're sure to hear some great live prank calls and live uh live radio here uh the

finest in internet radio for sure here on pcu radio again as i said thousands of time tonight

thank you very much everybody who participated all my callers today reclude the dead help me

out of here milkman who am i forgetting zolar called in tonight uh yeah we had our uh our

friend from either uh yeah phaser called in our friend from the mall not the maldives were

Or Moldovia, I forget.

Yeah, Moldovia.

Yeah.

Anybody I'm forgetting, I'm sorry.

Lonesome Loser, thank you as always for the call, for the numbers.

He's gone now, but I thank him.

If he's listening still, possibly, thank you very much for everything you do.

And what else here?

What else?

What can I say?

Yeah, MadHouseLive.com.

Again, MadHouseLive.com.

And KDKPrankCalls.com.

That's the night.

Milkman, thank you very much for helping out.

All right, baby.

Always a pleasure.

Thank you.

Big thanks there to Madman, Dr. Lego, KDK, and everybody out there at PCU,

because this is why we do it, for you.

This is why we do it for you.

Oh, yeah, Reclute, of course.

Reclute called in tonight, everybody.

Reclute.

We had a great call tonight also.

Okay.

Don't be a seafield scram, son of your butt, man.

Exactly.

Well, we're calling it a night.

Thank you, everybody.

I appreciate everything you do.

Have a great weekend.

We love you all.

We'll catch you here next week.

And wipe out.

Bye Ellie, I love you!

Calls (18, 50 min of 2 h 35 min)

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