2006-01-12 Show (part 2)

Yeah, what was I saying?

What's up, everybody?

You're listening to The Madhouse.

It is 9.40 p.m. on Thursday, January the 19th.

And we're just here taking your calls at 1-888-278-8509.

Again, you can reach us here tonight live, toll free.

Yeah, 1-888-278-8509.

It's on our dime.

Is that what you said, Milkman?

Milkman, are you with us, sir?

We lost you earlier.

We lost Milkman again.

Milkman, there he is.

Correct.

Hey, I'm hired.

Get your numbers ready.

That's right.

Confirm numbers, please, and get ready to join the party.

Exactly right.

Because Carlito's got a wild set up for you tonight.

Yeah, we sure do.

Well, of course, next to me I have Andy.

How you doing, brother?

What's up, Andy?

How you doing?

Thank you for being here tonight.

I'm pretty good.

You sound great in the microphone tonight.

I always sound great.

Well, you have an extra special nice voice tonight.

It's that gurgle that I work so hard on because everybody wants to hear that.

Exactly.

You will want to hear it.

Everybody loves the gurgle.

Exactly.

We like to hear the back of your throat.

All right.

Anyway, that's Andy, everybody, here with me in the studio.

And, of course, via satellite from the Virgin Islands is the Milkman.

What's up, Milkman?

How you doing?

You're sounding good.

I'm great over here.

What sound effect is that?

That one, yeah.

This one here has subplots.

See?

You know, it would be funny if you had, like, an ice cream truck for Milkman.

If I had an ice cream truck?

Yeah.

Yeah, I should do that for him, right?

I could see Milkman as an ice cream truck driver in the Virgin Islands.

Because that's the closest thing we have to it, that is.

Exactly.

Who else do we have in line?

You know, I was in that speech and tongue.

Great.

Well, we have Reclude.

Reclude, are you with us?

Yeah, Reckless, try to bring your mic up

You're sounding a little short there

Working on it, a little better, a little better

Hey, you fucker, what about

It's great, keep working on it

But we're glad to have you here

Reckless, what you been up to, man?

You've been smoking all day, haven't you?

You said you've been smoking all day, right?

Living the dream, baby, living the dream

Yeah, it's a struggle, alright

And also from, uh, now, Milkman

I'll let you introduce our next guest here

AMD, of course, right?

Yes, sir

Your girlfriend, go ahead

All the way from Devon, England

We have a special guest tonight, a great provider of numbers, and another avid listener.

His name is AMD out of England.

So, hello, AMD. How you doing?

We don't have our British guest here at all. AMD is a no-show.

He's been here the whole time, and he sounds funny. He sounds nice.

He's not British. Is he Scottish? Is it?

AMD, mate.

What's with your friend AMD, man? Oh, he said he was going to be a man.

Oh, he said he fucking didn't like you, Carlito.

Oh, he did? Because I took too long? Is that what his problem is?

No.

I do remember him saying he'd be a man.

Is this a conspiracy?

Seriously.

It's Tony Blair's fluffer, actually.

Is that who it is?

Tony Blair's fluffer.

He doesn't need a fluffer.

You know someone tried to kidnap his four-year-old son or something like that?

Do you want to confess, Carlito?

No, it wasn't me.

I think it was AMD.

No, I heard of some kid out in New Jersey.

Oh, yeah.

That's what it is.

That's what it is, man.

Oh, my God.

You're sad.

How do they know who's that guy when the other one's going to talk?

Exactly.

Yeah, this happens all the time.

Anyway, what else we got going on Milkman?

You're going to steer me back on course here, right?

We're taking your calls.

We did that part.

Also, yeah, if you want to get a hold of me on AOL Instant Messenger with your number of submissions,

numbers of people who you have a background story and want to have a prank call tonight,

we do that here as a free service also.

We enjoy doing that for you listeners if it's your first time or if you're a commoner, regular, I used to say, right?

No, you could be a commoner.

A commoner?

A madhouse.

A commoner.

A commoner would be like someone who isn't, like you, would be a commoner.

You're associated, but you don't follow the culture.

You're just here for a show.

I'm looking way too deep into it.

Never mind.

Let's just forget the last two minutes of our conversation.

Do you have a culture?

No, we don't have a culture here.

If we have anything, it is not a culture.

It's more like a mold spore.

Yeah, it's a virus.

It is not a culture.

I was going to say, is it like a culture sample?

Maybe like...

What?

Okay, yeah.

Well, hang on.

I got a request to put someone else in our conference call.

And I'll have...

Don't say who it is, Andy,

because we're going to see if you guys can figure it out.

It's going to be the most exciting surprise ever.

Yeah.

Okay.

Who do you think it is?

Can I go first?

Go ahead.

Nelson Mandela.

Nelson Mandela would be incorrect.

I'm sorry.

Oh, I know.

Tony Blair.

Not Tony Blair, no.

We'll see.

Reclude, your guess.

Oh, Bill Cosby.

Close, but no.

Bill Cosby's nephew.

Close.

Very close to Bill Cosby.

Oh, my God.

On the air now, we have...

Go ahead, caller.

Well, guess who it is.

Don't say who you are, caller.

Hey, baby.

Alright, now guess who it is. Carlito, you guess first. Who do you think it is?

Um, I think it's Prank Master.

Baby!

Interesting.

Reklu, any guess? Reklu doesn't know. Reklu doesn't know half the shit that goes on here.

Can I rape you, Carlito?

Oh my god.

That's a giveaway there. Come on, Milkman. Who do you think it is?

Milky!

Oh no.

It's the dead.

How you doing, Milky?

Oh my god. Is that Prank Master?

Baby. No, it's the dead, baby.

It's Prank Master, everybody.

Prank Master online.

Hey, Prank Master.

How you feeling, Camille?

Sounding good, man.

Are you feeling good?

I'm feeling like shit.

Yeah, like somebody shit in my skull.

Hey, the dead.

I'm feeling like shit.

Hang on.

Whoa, time out, time out.

Dead, do you have headphones on, man?

No.

You should do that.

Yeah.

You should play headphones on.

I'm on a speaker, and I'm on a mic.

Well, take the speaker out, because we keep hearing ourselves, and it sounds like shit.

Oh, God.

Yeah, we're echoing.

Dude, if I fucking...

I can't fucking hear you.

If you can get some headphones on, we can continue.

I don't want to fucking pay $30 for a pair of headphones.

Have you ever been fucked in a wheelchair?

Fuck yourself, a recluse, you fucking asshole.

Listen, you don't fuck with me.

Go fuck yourself, recluse. Go fuck the prank master and the fucking ass, you motherfucking asshole.

Tell him to die.

Yeah.

Fucking bitch.

Listen, why don't you go piss on your own feet?

Go get a fucking shot of Dizono on the rocks or some shit.

Get Dr. Kevorkian.

Okay, that's wrong.

Go get fucked by your bitch, Scarlett, or some shit.

Starlight.

Scarlett?

Starlight.

Let me go slap her right in the face.

Fuckin' fuck, fuckin' bitch, Starlight.

Go fuck your, go fuck your Willy or some shit.

Willy?

Go wake up your Willy, man.

Dad, now, respect, now, be nice.

Now, I apologize.

They're making fun of you, that's not very nice.

I wish I had a good time.

Don't be a pussy.

No, I'm just, you know, we love the dad here.

I'm just kidding, man.

We like the dad.

Yeah.

So are we okay today?

I mean, we're okay, right?

Huh?

We're okay today, right?

Today.

Yeah, he's a cool guy.

Yeah, he makes good pranks.

He does.

Great.

He's a great contributor.

Everybody can prank while Long's here.

Is he even on with us?

The Dead, where are you?

Hey, Rick.

Yes.

Have you heard that DDD is now a co-host on the Dr. Lego show on Mondays or Tuesdays now.

Is he really?

Yeah, it's a great movie.

Yeah, it's a big movie.

I like that.

It's a big movie.

I was trying to get The Dead to move into my house, but that's probably out the window now.

Where is he anyway?

The Dead, speak up.

I'll send a dispatch out to The Dead.

He's not responding anymore.

I think he might have left.

Hello?

Yeah.

There you go, Dad.

We thought you hung up.

Yeah, we didn't want you to hang up.

My grandma gave me a happy ending.

Okay, she did already.

She had a bedtime story.

What bedtime story?

Happy ending, jerky.

Jerky, jerky.

Did you go out with the hand-release, D.D.?

Shut up, you motherfucker, you.

Goddamn, boy.

Today you're going to be on Dr. Lego's show now?

I don't give a fuck.

I want my own shit, Carl.

You should be the host.

Look, there's a place called The Weed Man.

It's a Latina woman in California.

We're way off track here, guys.

Come on, now.

Anyway.

Let's make some pranks.

Stop being a fucking faggot.

Exactly.

Let's stop being assholes.

Hello, the land of PCU and Carly 2 and Milkman and Recluse.

How are you doing?

I'm sorry about that.

My PC fucked up and I lost the stream.

Hello, the RMD, everybody.

Hi everybody, how are you all doing?

Tell us about yourself, where exactly do you live?

I live in Devon, well it's actually Torquay in Devon in the UK.

I did work for a legal firm until the firm went up and so at the moment I'm flogging windows for a place called Coastal Windows in Devon too.

And I'm also drunk.

Great to have you on the show.

So you're the voice behind the crazy neurotic old guy that we thought we were genuinely pranking somebody.

but it was actually me

it was actually me and

Nono actually got it

straight away because he

well not the first time but he clicked on

the second time it was me and yes

Nono you were 100%

correct it was me

and I was just like well like I say

the famous catchphrase is what?

you were calling me this time in the morning

classic stuff great stuff

AMD does that make you feel like a big man

that you tricked us is that what it is

No big man. Well, well, not really. No, but

All music it's not my

No, no, yes, you said it was me, yes, you are 100% correct.

Nuno wins a prize, everybody.

Nuno is a brilliant genius.

You do indeed.

Nuno, you've won five Carlito dollars for using the Carlito store.

You can't put one over on him, Harlan.

He's a smart one.

All right, we've got submissions from Lonesome Loser in the chat room.

If you're not in the chat room, do so now.

If you're using an IRC client, you want to go to irc.lazy-net.de

and join our IRC chat in channel PCU.

Also, if you have Java installed, you can do that.

You can join us in the chat for free right from your web browser.

You want to head on to www.kdkprankcalls.com.

That's K-D-K as in kill, death, kill, prankcalls.com.

Exactly.

Where is the dead?

Did the dead say something?

For the love of God, we're going to cut you off.

Anyway, so also madhouselive.com.

Are you puffing on the raft?

Tell us the truth.

I just wanted to have a bedtime story with Penthouse.

A happy ending from the maid.

A bedtime story from Penthouse.

Those are the nice ones.

Penthouse is the classy one.

I like the man in them.

Anyway, the dead isn't too happy, guys.

You guys are making fun of me.

I'm just saying, I'm hearing rumors of the dead.

He just sent me eight periods in a row as a message.

Dude.

What do you make out of that?

Let me count that.

That one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

That's nine.

Nine periods in a row is all I got.

Well, I'll tell you this.

He's a good pranker, and we're good to have.

Exactly.

I mean, we're glad to have him.

I'm fucked up.

My understanding, eight periods means I hate you,

I never want to talk to you again.

Nine means everything is cool, we're all good,

I'll be back later.

There's a whole big difference between eight and nine periods.

I think so, too, yeah.

So we're all right.

It's a very dangerous form of communication.

Well, let me send him a three.

Let me send him two back.

Two is I love you.

You know what?

In honor of the dead, I'm going to go on and prank everybody with his voice tonight.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

You can't do that.

No, no.

That's the perfect way to honor the dead.

No, no.

Reckload, you're a very volatile guest, and that's why we love you on here, because you

get us ratings, because I'll tell you, we're having the best summers you've ever had before.

We've got 34 people listening on PCU, and we have five people on the secret server.

Yeah, already.

Exactly.

Well, yeah, it's not even 10 o'clock, though.

I guess.

What'd you do?

Nothing? What'd you do?

Alright, you have stuff in your...

Okay, I see what you got in here.

Yeah, you're on, Da Dead.

Yes, Da Dead, you're on.

Da Dead's in, apparently.

If not, he needs to disconnect and try to reconnect.

Da Dead.

Anyway, I heard a beep, so I think somebody's just come in.

Yeah, we're not talking, so...

We'll continue this as long as we can.

Hang on, guys.

Okay.

So, yeah, the website for the show is madhouselive.com.

This is always organized, man.

We never end up starting up like a normal show until like 10.30 anyway.

I hear Da Dead back there.

Da Dead, how are you doing?

Hello.

I don't think that's the dead, man.

That sounds like somebody else.

That sounds like Quanky.

That sounds like Prankmas.

You bitch, you fucker, you.

How did Prankmas get out?

You gonna make a prank?

He just did.

Prankmas is always in, man.

He never goes away.

We'll talk more about that later, but here, what I'm trying to get at, Lonesome Moves

in the chat room are Guaranteed Confirmer, great guy.

Like it, wow.

He is saying, oh no, I got one, two, three, four, five, six.

I got seven periods from the dead.

Oh, that's good.

That's good.

Seven's okay.

So eight's the bad one.

13 would mean he's going to kill me, right?

It's the time of the month.

This guy has a heavy period.

The numbers I got here, I've got, okay, from the beginning, we've got Donna and Darwin Dump.

We have Harry and Patricia Dump.

We have Clifford Raw.

We have Raymond Raw.

We have Billy Crystal in Idaho.

We have Bobby and Robin Williams.

We also have, in Akron City, Ohio, we have Junk Cars and High Weeds, Nooses Complaints, Dog Bite Reporting.

Yeah, I used to live there.

Yeah, in Akron?

Rubber City.

Yeah.

Yeah?

Rubber City?

Is that for condoms or tires?

Rubber City.

Yeah.

No, Firestone and shit.

Oh, they're out there.

Yeah, that's where all the degenerates make tires.

The dead left our conference.

I think they blow them up by hand, too.

Don't be a fucker.

Don't be mean.

Keep it right with us.

We also have the Weed Doctor in New Jersey, and we have the Weed Man in California.

Yes.

Try the Weed Man and ask him for some blow.

Exactly.

Say you want to get stoned tonight.

Okay.

Yeah, if you want to submit your numbers to us, either get in the chat room.

uh if you can't make it there's plenty of room in there of course you can also get us on madhouse

radio on aol instant messenger again aol instant messenger madhouse radio uh yahoo instant

messenger you want to hit us up at madhouse pcu radio and if you're using msn messenger you want

to use madhouse pcu radio at hotmail.com that's that so let's get started eh um we got up here

Here, let's call the junk cars, highways, news complaints, and dog by-roaming thing.

I seriously can't believe that's a business.

It's just for people to complain about their neighbors.

That's all it's listed as?

Yeah, it's Akron City, and I got that.

And some old lady answered it about a half hour ago, so she should still hear it.

Oh, hells yes.

Let's do it.

Let's see if I can figure this out here.

All right, folks, we'll keep listening.

It's now just about 10 p.m. Eastern on Thursday the 19th,

and we're coming at you with the first call.

We'll be right back after this.

One more.

Yeah, what do you say there, ma'am?

Is this where I can call about dog bites and whatnot?

Not necessarily a dog bite.

Are you reporting one, or you're asking about one?

I'm reporting a very large, obnoxious dog who snarls and stuff at me, and it's horrible.

Hey, stop for a moment.

What you're describing to me is not what you just asked, so I need to know so I can direct you where it should be.

Oh, okay, so you can't help me? What's going on?

No, what I'm asking you is you're speaking about a dog bite.

No, no, not a bite.

Does it already occur?

Ma'am, please don't be rude to me.

I pay taxes here just like you do, and I pay your salary.

Sir, I need to know, are you talking about a dog bite?

No, just listen.

No bite.

N-O-B-I-T-E.

No bite.

Just a dog who's a nuisance.

And they have high weeds.

And they have this car that hasn't been running for two years in the middle of their lawn.

Like right in the middle.

Not even Park Strays.

It's in there.

and the door's been open for two years now and the dog is inside chained up inside then he just

barks and barks and barks and barks and barks and barks and barks and barks and barks and barks and

barks he barks sir i cannot assist you unless you allow me to ask you questions go ahead number one

house is it vacant no there are people living in the house at this time with the dog yes and

they're and they're white people stop for a moment let me ask you another question they're dirty white

white people. Sir, let me ask you

a question. Please. I need

from you, address, name of

the people who live there. Yes, I do.

I need the address. Can we talk

faster than this, please?

Sir, if you wish for me to assist you, I'll be more

than happy, but if you cannot answer my

questions, I will end this call. Hey, listen.

Listen, woman. No, hang on. Listen, I don't need

you to get on my lap. You're at 325 North

Exchange Street. Hang on. My cousin's

going to explain this to you a little better, okay? Because obviously

you don't like me. Hang on. Alright, go ahead.

Hello? Hello? Hello.

I'm trying to... I got them dogs running around. You guys got a car?

I can't hear you.

Can you hear me now?

Apparently you have a phone.

No, I have a fucking mouse right up my ass.

Okay, the information you gave me is for three different requests.

So I need to know what's going on right now so I know where to direct service requests.

That's why I'm asking you questions the way I am.

Okay, let's clear our minds. Clear our minds. Clear our minds. Clear our minds. Okay?

You're clear with me?

Oh, you're here.

My name is Jack Valenti.

address that you're speaking about yes exactly at the address that i'm speaking about there are

what's the address there are high 325 north exchange street god damn it high weeds there

okay fine i need to know the address so i can you don't want to work do you you just want to sit on

your black ass don't you it's two zero zero five i'll spell the rest h-i-g motherfuckers h-w-e-e-s

S-I-N-E-H-E-L-A.

If this is a national service request, then I can help you,

but what you're doing here is not helping anybody out.

But I'm telling you the information.

Obviously, we can't... I don't know if you need a translator.

Sir, sir.

Listen, lady, we got a lawyer that wants to talk to you.

Put the lawyer on the line right now.

Hello?

Hello there.

Yes, I'm the lawyer.

Hello there.

Ma'am, can I speak to you, please?

Hello there.

Yes, I'm actually the lawyer representing them two fellows here,

but they're dog bites.

And actually, I've been listening to the call, and you actually sound very unprofessional.

And, well, I'll tell you what.

If you carry on like that, then you'll be up with a lawsuit on your hands, okay?

So I'd like some...

You're goddamn right.

Yeah, some respect from you, please.

What is your name, ma'am?

I didn't catch it.

So, ma'am?

She quit.

Call that bitch back.

Damn right, mate.

Damn right.

Hey, Carlito.

Yeah, what's up, man?

What the lawyer?

Hello?

Stop for a second.

Hey, Carlito, can you hear me?

Am I coming in all right?

Yes, yes.

Verklut, you've got to remember, unless I'm telling you I'm putting my uncle on the line or something like that,

they're not going to hear you.

So you're actually talking over me and her, actually.

Okay.

I have to hit, like, two buttons in order to make it so you can get hurt.

Oh, I didn't know that.

That's okay.

No worries.

We're testing this old technology.

It's new technology from the future.

Yeah, exactly.

I went through time.

Carlito, could she hear me okay?

Yeah, she heard you fine.

She hated you.

No, she didn't hate you.

That's fucking lazy fucking...

You drove her crazy.

Something about the British accent gives it validity that he was a lawyer for some reason.

You know what I mean?

That's right.

I'd be in business if I wanted to sue her off.

Exactly.

Actually, in England, he probably sounds like a common gutter swipe or something.

You think so?

No.

Well, I could do a posture accent.

Hell, hell.

Something like that, anyway.

I'll work on it.

We'll work on it.

That's a project to do.

Okay, well, yeah.

I wonder how you guys are.

I think you guys are fine.

Okay, let's continue on and see who else we can call now.

Does anyone know what I have to title a page to make the default 404 not found page?

I know that.

I know that answer.

I have no idea.

I do.

I've done it before.

I have it written down here somewhere.

Well, you can treat.

Yeah.

Anyway, so in the chat room we have someone saying what's happening.

Obviously a smoker of weed.

uh not much here sir because of the name of his name which i won't give out i don't give out the

aol names because it's kind of private you know oh please do okay it's uh zolar is talking to me

he said the lady was funny who was okay so you got a chat room going here a private chat well

we can't be careful with that oh yeah i'm not supposed to give out um i'm not supposed to give

out um oh that's in violation that's a chat room to be in yeah that might be violation i think this

vip chat i think i think that's that's not now everybody wants the vip chat huh now everybody's

gonna be pissed they can't be in it they can't be in it though i probably couldn't even get in it

they would they'd be like no yeah well new news asking me if i'm going to he can't be in the vip

chat new news asked me andy you have to show your titties he wants you to show uh call george

turkey neck turkey neck yeah you know we got turkey neck he sounds like it right

I said the waddle, you mean?

Talking about my titties.

You need to take me out to dinner first.

Hey, Milkman, I don't see you on Google, though.

You're not on Google.

Get on Google.

That's how we normally communicate in there.

That's our normal...

I'm on nigger chat.

Hey, Carlito.

Yes, sir.

I'd just like to say that I'd like to say hello to all the niggers out there.

Yeah, over here in the UK, we like niggers.

We sure do, bloody hell, governor.

Who's that imitating me?

Well, my name is actually actual.

Jolt, my name is, and we actually, we do talk like that as well, like everybody in America thinks that we talk like that.

Well, it is, and it's bloody potatoes in the mold here, that's for sure.

Cool.

Someone else has joined the chat room, I suppose.

No.

Has joined the conference call. Who do we have on?

I will block him.

Yeah, man, wagwan, great Scott in the house.

How you doing, buddy?

The dead, all right, the dead, yeah.

No, it's not the dead, everybody. Is this great Scott?

Yeah, man, wagwan, man.

You made it.

Great Scott.

That sucks.

I thought we were going to talk to the dead.

You don't even know who Great Scott is.

I know, but I thought we were going to talk to the dead again.

You don't know how important Great Scott is.

All right.

We want to have...

Great Scott is good, but he may be limited on time.

Do you have any time, brother?

Yeah, yeah.

I don't lie on the floor and roll around with incense if you want to ask me that.

All right.

Milkman completely understands that.

Minata Chichiman, you know.

Chichiman.

I know what that is.

I've heard of that term.

So anyway, so you're, you're, um, do you want to do a call?

Are you a little bit on time?

Is that what's going on?

You got to get back to your cell.

So we're just doing the conference is really fun.

Oh, God.

The dad is there.

I hear him.

The dad's right here.

I'm here.

Hey, the dad.

The microphone got fucked up and my mouse died.

Your mom died?

Your mouse died?

Your mouth.

His mouse died.

Yeah, I had to rip my subway battery.

I have a cordless mouse, so you know.

Oh, yeah.

That's some crazy shit, uh, the deads.

Yeah, those corks might say it. They go all the time.

You have a big cat, the dead?

Probably blew a rotor in it.

The dead, you got incense burning?

No, I don't. I ran out.

The dead ran out?

No, I didn't. Actually, I didn't run out. I took a trace of peace.

I look good in getting naked.

You're gonna be getting naked, eh?

Nigga.

Anyway, let's continue. Um, we've got, who do I got available here?

I got the weed doctor and I got the weed man.

The weed man.

Try and score some blow off him.

The weed man.

Do you want to attempt that call, Great Scott, while we have you?

Do you want to try the weed man in California?

What?

Fill me in.

What?

Sorry.

What are you laughing at?

There we go.

He was just breathing at the same time.

Why'd they call him the weed man?

I don't know.

There was a Latino woman who answered there about 30 minutes ago, and it's in California,

in Hanford, California.

But why'd they call him the weed man?

That's what I think you should ask.

Yeah.

It might be, they might fight weeds, or they might, I don't know.

That's a good question.

Maybe they have weeds.

Oh, so you mean you want to tell them that you want to buy some smoke?

Exactly.

Tell them you want to buy weed.

You have weeds, you fucking idiot.

Or, oh, no, you can't threaten them.

You can't threaten them.

I just want to threaten everybody.

You have weeds, you fucking idiot.

No, we're going to tell them.

In fact, they're all angry.

I'm going to tell them we need to get some weed.

We're coming through now.

We're going to come knock on his door to pick up some weed.

All right, no, good.

And we need to get stones, yes, because, well, just say it's an urgent call.

They're going to know.

No, I mean, if we're asking for weed.

We need to get wasted.

A British guy in Jamaica is a zombie.

And a zombie in Bruno Vega does a Spanish guy,

and I'm multi-generous, whatever the hell I am.

There you go.

I got my incense burning.

Good luck with that.

So when I call, I'm going to ask for the weed, man.

The weed, man.

Yeah, the weed, man.

Yeah, man, we're going to ask for the weed, man.

See what I'm all about.

You got it.

We'll be right back, everybody, with the next call.

great scott to guess it's now 10 12 we're calling the weed man california

authorization code now sufficient funds to make this call message 49

we're gonna need a new phone card number

All right, I'll send you a card here.

All right, because I didn't bring up the one that I bought today, unfortunately.

All right, hold on.

My bad.

It's going to come to you in AIM, okay?

Okay.

Yeah, so nobody else has sent me any private numbers.

We got Saigon in the chat room.

He's a very controversial Saigon.

Yeah, he's a fucking cult.

Saigon sucks.

It's in the words of a...

Yeah, man, I like that.

Ben Saigon.

All right, enough about Saigon.

Jesus Christ, there's no control here.

Someone with an English accent.

That is me.

Dad, shut up for a second.

Go ahead.

Dad, why do you hate Saigon?

I am the man with English accent.

What the fuck are you on?

I'm on English, man.

What's that?

What's that, boy?

Well, how the devil are you doing, then?

Well, I'm very spiffing at the moment,

and it's very, very big entertainment

in this particular part of the world,

so there you go.

That's as posh as my accent gets, you know,

apart from the Welshness.

Yeah, man, you know Jamaicans in English get along.

People calling us and saying,

Oh, damn right, mate, damn right.

I got a lot of Jamaican friends,

and they're quite good,

because they come down here for a smoke now and again.

You're in a madhouse.

Hello?

Yeah, what's up, Milkman?

How you doing, man?

All right.

I can't aim this thing to you, so I was just going to give you over the air, but I guess

I'm going to be on air with it.

Well, you know what?

No one's going to know.

Just give me the PIN number.

Who cares, dude?

Okay, but it's a different card.

We got a problem, then.

We got a problem.

What's wrong?

You can't send me a message?

Is that what's going on?

I'm not able to get in right now, man.

You're not able to get in right now.

I'm trying to chat room.

I'll try in the chat room.

Send it to me in the private message in the chat room.

You're in the chat room.

I understand.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Sorry about that, man.

I'll send a message back.

As usual, I don't know what the hell's going on.

That was the best call ever.

Yeah. Of 2006 so far was that one.

Wow.

And recklessly in the way to me.

Yeah, right to the point that he didn't know.

Exactly.

And then, you know, he said,

I apologize for being as dumb as he is.

Yeah.

Anyway, well, let's try to get something going on here.

Hopefully he'll fix this, too.

Prank. Prank.

We can't. We can't.

So we get a phone card.

And I bought a phone card today,

Man, it's... I left it in my frickin' car.

And you're still on the speakers.

Jesus Christ. You're still on the speakers, aren't you?

Yeah.

Dude, I know that's my fuckin' headphone.

You don't give a fuck.

You don't care.

You don't care, Dad.

I don't got no headphone.

You don't care.

I don't got no headphone.

I just want to have a fuck you.

Hey, man, you with the Madhouse Live crew right here

with your host, Kali, doing calls,

milking out the sidekick, Andy,

and the man without the headset

the dead

why don't you have fucking headphones

you go get a stereo dildo

go fuck yourself

a reclute you fucking asshole

oh jesus

why you need to buy some headsets man

I can't the dead put his helmet on

and walk to the store and get a new headset

guys we're gonna have to regroup here

the dead's not working out cause he's over there

the short bus doesn't go to best buy

I think I eat your asshole.

Fuck you, reclude.

The short bus only goes to the supermarket.

That's all I get.

When they get headphones at the supermarket.

Alright, Milkman, what's your status?

Anything yet?

He's not even talking.

Right now.

That's when he's the best.

Yes, I'm trying to fucking eat.

I'm trying to message you.

Send me a message, Carlito.

Message.

MSG.

You know, if I have to call a break and go to get the damn phone card, I will, dude.

I got it that time.

I was asleep.

Some guy tells me he has a card for me.

It's probably if you call it.

It's a joke.

If you call, I hear your phone will explode.

You have been signed up for it.

Oh, what the fuck, man?

Okay, wait a minute.

What am I doing here?

I can sit down and...

I'm really...

I'm, like, really...

I don't know what's wrong with you.

I'm not feeling well here.

Okay.

You're not feeling well?

Hey, hey, send me an IM on AIM, okay?

All right.

Hey, listen, listen.

While you figure that out, we're gonna...

I got a backup here.

Lilson Loser's sending me a phone call.

Record you to make me pre-come.

Fuck you.

Well, I don't know what to say.

Reclute makes me freak out.

Oh, Reclute makes you.

Headdress.

I'm touching my asshole right now.

Chichimon in the house, the dead.

It's a field show meeting.

That's invalid pin number.

Please re-enter.

You have 50.

My fingers stink now.

Call followed by the pound key.

Ready?

Yeah, man, you ready?

All right.

You have 50 minutes remaining to make another call.

Calls (3, 14 min of 40 min)

Transcript

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