2006-02-07 Show
7 Feb 2006 · 46 min · 4,979 words · source
Calls (7, 28 min of 46 min)
- PokerStars collections scam call live 7.8 min clip ↓
- Music Call studio automated menu ivr 48 s clip ↓
- Recording studio called about studio takeover live 3.3 min clip ↓
- Prank call to escort Nautica live 1.3 min clip ↓
- Dunkin' Donuts in Michigan asked about donuts live 3.9 min clip ↓
- Best Buy prank call setup playback 6.3 min clip ↓
- Caller confronts unknown person on phone live 4.5 min clip ↓
Transcript
Can I speak with either Chris DeWales or Charles Ford, please?
Speaking.
Is this Mr. Ford?
Yes, sir.
Well, good afternoon, sir.
My name is Jack Valenti, and I'm calling you from PokerStars.net, collections department.
Apparently, someone there at your residence there has been playing online on our website quite a bit here at PokerStars.net,
and we are owed a sum at this point of $239.25.
And we'd like to know if you are able to go ahead and pay that soon,
or there will be a suspension of your account.
Pardon me.
She has, either she or yourself, has lost several games,
totaling $239.25 in the last 10 minutes.
In the last 10 minutes, we haven't been playing in the last 10 minutes.
Well, if it goes up past $200,
we quickly try to make a call to the number on file to make sure that you're aware.
I actually got an update here.
Here, another bet has been lost, $242.28.
Okay, you know what?
We're not even online right now.
I think you're lying, man.
We have your name.
We have your everything.
What is the address?
What is the email?
We don't give that out.
How do I know that you're not going to use that?
Exactly.
How do I know?
Because you know what?
We're not even online right now.
You listen to me.
He's been having dinner.
Pretty lady, who has dinner at this time of day?
What are you, a vampire?
Excuse me, it's 5.30.
You people are bummed.
It's 5.30.
You know what, Al?
Look, bitch.
Try and tell me that I owe you money.
I'm an attorney.
I can't owe you money that I don't have, that I don't have.
Ma'am, calm down.
Bring it down to a tone, because if not, I'm going to charge you.
You know what my bankroll rate is right now?
It's 30.
I don't believe it.
Okay, I'm not going to tell you, but it's 30.
I believe it.
I don't believe it.
I've got to be honest with you.
I don't believe it.
Okay, well, you know what?
I don't care.
Most people have their differences.
I don't care.
Try and get it, try and get it from me then, okay?
This is America.
I have not been playing.
Oh, America.
I think you're the, you probably.
Believe me, I lived in the, I lived in the sea.
You know what?
I bet, you know what?
I'm a smart person.
You know how much I make?
$45,000 a year.
The house next door to me's been sold.
Today is Thursday.
On which one?
Which is you?
When he decides to announce his identity, the law sees bad, they'll knock him out.
We're at the ripoff.
My friend, this could be the best thing that ever happened.
Those who believe life here began out there, across the universe.
Tribes of humans who may have been the forefathers of the Egyptians,
Baltics, or the Mayans, have been the architects of the Great Pyramid.
Lost civilizations of Lemuria or Atlantis.
Some believe that there may yet be brothers of man who even now fight to survive.
Live somewhere beyond the heavens.
There will be no order, only chaos.
That being said, grab a blunt, take a big hit, sit back, and enjoy the ride.
This is an exclusive of PCU Radio and MadhouseLive.com.
Flight controllers, listen up.
Give me a go, no, go for launch.
Booster.
Retro.
Bye.
Guidance.
Guidance, go.
Surgeon.
Go, boy.
E-com.
We're go, fly.
GNC.
We're go.
Tell me.
Go.
Control.
Go, fly.
procedures go inco go fao we are go network go recovery capcom we're go fly launch control this
is houston we are go for launch drug real from real real chris i take this today first of all
um when you shut the hell once you shut the hell up the baby is only a little crazy like painters
or composers or or some of those men in washington you son of a bitch speak listen you follow up
I'll beat you motherfuckin', I ain't even speakin' Spanish, what the fuck you want?
No, you speak English, I say.
You motherfuckin', you motherfuckin'.
I go ahead, man.
Motherfuckin' you.
You bitch.
Don't never, don't never call again to this boy, man.
Mow my lawn, mow my lawn.
You motherfuckin', I'm a bitch.
Why you so angry?
What's my quality?
I'm gonna fuck you, man.
We're so high right now.
We're not low.
We eat every day.
And I'm your butcher, crackin' for y'all.
What's up everybody, how y'all doing tonight, today?
We're still getting used to that whole time change thing.
What's up everybody? You're listening to a special afternoon edition.
You know what, I might as well just call this a regular edition of the Madhouse.
This is the Madhouse 420 show.
It is now 418, so we have two minutes left until 420, and you know what that means on the East Coast, ladies and gents.
That makes it time to relax.
So, excuse me.
I'm here.
I am Carlito, your host for the afternoon.
I'm going to be doing some live prank calls, hopefully, if I get some numbers from y'all.
You can, well, normally I would give my toll-free line out right now, but the toll-free line has been shut down until tomorrow.
There has been a change.
There's a fucking echo in here, man.
The hell is that?
God damn it, that sucks.
I hate it when there's an echo, especially when I don't know where it's coming from.
them, let me look at my mics, and I only got one plugged in, anyway, so yeah, normally I'd give the
toll-free line out for y'all to call, but that's not gonna happen today, I'll get that working by
Thursday night show, but you are listening to PCU Prank Call Underground Radio, and we are taking
your, I am, I should say, because no one else is with me right now, but I am taking your live
prank call request, it's now 419 p.m. Eastern Standard Time on Tuesday the 7th of February of
the year 2006 so if you're listening now you're listening live hello um you can send your live
prank call request to me on aol instant messenger at madhouse radio that's madhouse radio if you're
not able to get to instant messaging if you happen to be at work or you just don't have
instant messaging installed on your computer that you're listening to us to you can email me with
With your live prank call request, be it to a friend or an enemy, a wife, a son, a co-worker, on the cubicle, two or three down next to you,
email me at madhouseradio at gmail.com.
Once again, that is madhouseradio at gmail.com.
And I'll hook you up at no charge for free.
We'll do your prank call live right now.
um also if you head on over to the home page for pcu radio that's at kdk prank calls.com again
that's kdk as in kill death kill kdk prank calls.com um you can join our chat room where there
are about eight people right now one two three four five six seven people not including me so
that was a good count eight people in the chat room right now not many no one's talking everybody's
is idling so it's a slow day in the chat room but you can join us there and you can private
message me with your prank call request um we ask that you just at least try to confirm that
said person is at home or at work or wherever it is that i'm calling them at that they're going to
answer and give me a name of course so first and last name where they live and a little bit of
background or whatnot if possible and uh i will work my magic in the meantime i'm going to uh go
go ahead and give out my uh home number here to someone uh by the name of reclude who used to
host a show here on tuesday nights uh but due to his impending schedule he was unable to continue
with that now last night we had a a new live show premiere um some gentleman by the name of hunter
and there were mixed reviews some people liked them some people hated him but in the end everybody
listened to him and as far as i feel hell let him get a chance but anyway um if you want to visit
at the homepage for the madhouse which is my show um i'm normally here on thursday nights at uh
around 9 30 ish p.m eastern standard time that's every thursday night here on pcu where you're
listening to me right now um if you get home by the way be sure to check us out in the evenings
because we have live shows every night for the most part have live shows with live prank calls
and live talk and live callers and and live everything god damn it so be sure to check us
out once you get home if you're at work or you're at school or something and you listen to us uh
give us a try in the evening but um yeah thursday nights is when you can hear my show the madhouse
it's usually hosted with my main man the milkman from the virgin islands and we normally connect
them via satellite link but he's not available today he is a little under the weather so he's
not going to be with us today this afternoon but he'll be with us thursday i hope and pray
hopefully everything's okay with him our prayers are with you and uh the big andy big andy's my
co-host here in the studios in madhouse studios and he's normally here also but like i said it's
it's an off day he'll be here thursday nights that's when we do our normal hardcore show
but i'm here to do some daytime pranks everybody so like i said send in your requests
via email to madhouse radio at gmail.com you can reach me at aol instant messenger
messenger madhouse radio is the nickname again that's madhouse radio yahoo messenger do you say
you have mad yahoo messenger madhouse pcu radio aha you see i got you there madhouse pcu radio
now wait a minute now you say you only have msn messenger well this is what i say madhouse pcu
radio at hotmail.com that's right so you're listening to prank call underground radio and
And you're normally listening to recorded prank calls.
But I'm here to give you some live prank calls.
It doesn't get better than that, ladies and gentlemen.
Well, anyway, I only have one number in so far from my main man, Reckless.
He's giving me a number to a recording studio.
Some guy is an asshole to him, so I'm going to be an asshole back.
And wage vengeance in the name of Prank Call Underground Radio.
This is Music Call, Music Call, Inc.
And, yeah, we're going to give them a call right now without any further ado.
do so stand by gents we'll be right back with the next uh with the first prank call of the
afternoon in just one moment it's now 4 24 smoke them if you got them we'll be right back after
this hang on folks your balance please enter the number you wish to call 500 minutes music call
oh my god you guys finally pick up first of all i've been calling you guys for like the last two
weeks nobody picks up what's the deal man monday through friday nine to five well i'm calling at
5 15 what you guys can't give me 15 minutes what does that say about you buddy what's that who's
Who's this? Who am I speaking with?
My name's Warren.
Warren? You mean that some of their people out there still with the name...
Anyway, how far up the ladder are you? Because I need to speak to someone in charge.
I do for you.
Well, check this out. I want to come in and I want to record, but I don't want any shit.
You know what I mean? Like, I want to have full range of the whole studio.
I want to have my own people running the boards.
I want to have my own people singing.
And for the most part, I'd like your people to leave the building while we take over.
How much would that cost?
Man, this is 2006, and this is how we do things right now.
Now, if you want my money, you're going to do what I say.
I don't want your money.
Well, give me the boss then, because obviously you're some kind of little pissant guy who just answers the phone.
Sir, you have a very good day. Thank you.
Ma'am, kiss my ass.
I killed that bastard.
I'm talking to myself. I said, I killed that real quick, didn't I?
I feel like calling that bastard back. I think I'll do that as a matter of fact.
Hang on, let's try to get him back on the phone.
No, me, I can't. I do what I want.
You have 497 minutes.
Okay, let's try that again. Let's try that again.
Yeah, listen here.
Is this Warren?
Yes, sir.
Why'd you hang up on me, Warren?
I told you to have a very good day.
And then you did what?
Then you hung up on me?
Be honest with me, Warren.
You hung up on me, didn't you?
Sir, you have a very good day.
Hey, asshole.
Why do you keep hanging up on me, Warren?
Listen, you hang up on me.
Have a good day, sir.
You're going to regret it.
Have a good day, sir.
I play golf with Mr. Musical.
Know what I'm trying to say to you?
I'm glad you do.
Well, I'm a big guy.
You're going to lose your job unless you help me out.
Look here, Warren.
Have a good day, sir.
Look, Warren, you stupid cock.
Warren doesn't want to cooperate, apparently.
Anyway, that's Warren's problem, not mine.
Yeah, that's Warren's problem, not mine.
So that was the only number that I have here.
Because no one else is submitting numbers right now.
Imagine that.
So in the meantime, if you want to send in a number, again, I'll give out the email address.
That's madhouseradio at gmail.com.
And madhouseradio, if you're using AOL Instant Messenger.
just hook me up at Madhouse Radio
and I'll hook you up
likewise let me see if I can
find actually
you know what it might help if I open my email
and see if anybody sent anything
in so yeah if you're listening
for the first time this is a live show
it is 4.30pm
eastern excuse me that's
1.30pm on the west coast
on Tuesday February the 7th
so this is live it is not Memorex
this is indeed live
www.gmail.com
Um, okay.
And, uh, yeah, send me your live request.
Like I said, normally I'd give you the, uh, toll-free number, but it's not working.
Ooh, look at that.
Google is coming out with a chat service.
Wow.
Imagine that.
Google is really taking on fucking...
Google is really taking on Yahoo as...
in every...
in every fucking way possible.
Um, this position on AOL is telling me he got the day off.
Well, great.
He found work and whatnot.
Well, that's good, this position you had last Tuesday off.
I think you should just consider that you don't work on Tuesdays.
Heh.
but there it is. I'm on my third gin and tonic, and it's not that early. I consider I can start
drinking at about 4 p.m., and I started drinking at 3 p.m. today, so what's that say about me?
Screw it. What do you guys know? I'm going to go ahead and go to the archives here and see what
numbers I have that have been confirmed in the past and see who I can possibly call right now
to do a prank call. I'm going to read those off to you in just a second here. Let me open up that
log got a few walmart's got a few mcdonald's um you know what who i haven't called in a while
there's this black lady a black lady she's a female escort her name is nautica she lives in
atlanta and she's six foot 220 pounds let me continue guys i know you're excited just hearing
that six foot 220 pounds brown hair brown eyes 42d 38 40 imagine that 42 wow 38 and 40 in atlanta
a black girl who was an escort i haven't talked to her in a while i miss poor nautica we used to
give her we used to call her nautica instead of nautica and she used to get pissed off like a
motherfucker and um yeah let me give her a call see what she's up to and see if i can uh hook
up this prank call because she always gets angry and that's that's the best if there's anything you
want to do when you're in a prank call is get someone angry that's what it's all about super
right back after this folks with the next prank call live on pcu radio you have 400 damn girl
what's up how you doing i'm fine sweetie but i'm no longer in the business what kind of business
though whatever you call me for if you have my stage name that no no kind of business no baby
look it's not like that you know we knew we go way back we don't even know you yeah you do we
We, you know, we met before and everything, and I told you I wanted to buy you that, you know, all that.
And me and you gotta be...
No, look, man, you got the wrong person.
Look, player, you know, me and you, I used to get drunk, and I used to dream about you.
I woke up this morning thinking about you.
I guess Nanika doesn't want to play.
Can you believe that? Nanika got out of the game?
She's out of the business?
Nanika doesn't hoe no more?
What the fuck is wrong with that?
Jesus Christ.
Anyway, I figured out that I lost a stream for her for a second.
I don't know how much of the show you guys have been listening to.
So anyway, if you want to reach me here, the toll-free line is down for the moment.
It won't be back up until tomorrow.
But you can still send your prank call request via email, madhouseradio at gmail.com.
That's madhouseradio at gmail.com.
And you can send them to me via AOL Instant Messenger, Madhouse Radio.
Again, if you're on AOL, you can reach me at madhouseradio.
You can also join me in the chat room and send them to me there.
Chat room is at kdkprankcalls.com.
That's K-D-K as in kill, death, kill.
Kdkprankcalls.com.
Hit the chat link, and you can join our chat room as long as you have Java installed.
Now, if you don't have Java installed, but you do have an IRC client that you're using,
such as merc or so on you can join us at irc.lazy-net.de right so late break in development
we just found out that nautica or nautica as i used to call her i used to prank call her just
about every week back when we first started this show she's no longer an escort well imagine that
we can't fuck with her anymore let's see here who else we got that i can call let's see here
I got a lot of fucking escorts and stuff.
Adult video entertainment, that's been done before.
That's juvenile.
That's fucking juvenile.
Dunkin' Donuts.
Dunkin' Donuts in Michigan.
M-I is Michigan, right?
Yeah, M-S is Mississippi.
Okay, so Dunkin' Donuts in Michigan.
Let's give them a call, see what we can do with them.
I'm pulling stuff out of my ass here, folks, because I don't have much to work with.
And I'll probably actually cut the show off here in a little bit, because there ain't
that much to do.
And we'll just call it a day.
But for the time being, here comes the next call.
Be right back after just one moment.
Come with me because you look so fine that I really want to make you mine.
I really want to make you mine.
Come on and get your kicks.
Now you don't need the money when you look like that, do you, honey?
How may I help you?
Hi.
What did you say?
Dunkin' Donuts.
Dunkin' Donuts?
You have donuts?
Dunkin' Donuts.
Oh, Dunkin' Donuts.
Okay, let me ask you.
How many glazed donuts do you have there ready made?
Like, if I come in the next two minutes, how many can I get?
How many?
How many did you want?
How many you got? Ask first. You show me first, baby.
Okay, okay. Let me check.
Show me a peanut. Show me a peanut.
Too long, man.
What's the sound if they're fighting?
Six dozen.
You have six dozen on hand?
Yeah.
Okay, so you have a lot, huh? Okay.
Let me ask you a question, man to man.
I lost my job three weeks ago. I don't have any money, but I'm hungry.
You think you can maybe give me some free donuts?
We don't do that, man.
Just one or two, please?
No, I can't, man. You know what?
I'm hungry, please. You know, my kid's here. We haven't eaten in two weeks.
No, you haven't.
Wait a minute, I'm not the boss.
You want to talk to the manager?
I can give it to the manager.
Okay, thank you.
You want to talk to the manager?
Yeah, please.
One second.
Thank you.
Hey, buddy, how you doing?
I'm good, how are you?
I'm not good.
Maybe you can help me.
Look, I have three kids, right?
One of them is birthday's today, right?
One of my kids' birthday's today, and I haven't been working for three weeks,
and I don't have any money, and all he wants for his birthday is like a donut.
You think maybe I can go down there and I can get like, you know,
a dozen donuts for free, you know, before you throw them out?
I mean, I don't have any money and I don't have anything.
I'll do anything you want.
I'll go down there.
I'll give you sex or, you know, I'll clean the toilets or whatever, you know.
Free donuts for me.
Fuck you.
No free donuts for me.
Wow, this show is really working great.
This would be the second crappy show in a row.
That's a bad sign because if I do a third one, quit.
Ever.
Um, the Chili's Grill and Bar in Honolulu, Hawaii.
We can call that.
Who else do we have?
We have Beer King.
Beer King in California.
California. San Diego, California. Excalibur Limousine in California. Oh, I know that guy.
That guy's cool. I've talked to him before. He's cool. El Coquí Nightclub in Puerto Rico. I can't
call Puerto Rico, unfortunately. I don't have an international card. Let's see who else I can call.
Um, um, um, um, um, um, um. I'm gonna look for a Best Buy. I got a running gag that I do with
Best Buy that's usually funny. Oh, there it is. Best Buy in Honolulu. Okay, I'm gonna call that
next hang on folks we'll be right back with the next live call of the day it's now 4 45 p.m eastern
tuesday the 7th that's 1 45 if you're on the west coast listening to us and i'll be right
back with the next prank call of the afternoon we'll be right back in just one moment
you know what this show's not gonna work out because the phone card i have won't let me call
like half the places i want to and i have a suspicion that possibly you might you guys
might be better off just listening to rotation so this would be the shortest episode of a live
show ever done on pcu i bet you but in the meantime we've lost uh eight listeners and i
apologize to everybody but i'm actually gonna call it a day because there's nobody out there
to call and i'm not feeling it and uh using my best mind i'm going to call the show because
no one's calling in uh no one can call in anyway uh no prank calls are working out and
And, yeah, so the meme part, I'm going to turn it back over to your rotation for the time being.
So please enjoy.
The prank calls you're going to listen to.
And as I said, join us here tonight.
I believe K-Bone's on tonight, later, around 10 p.m. Eastern for a live show.
If not, someone else will be on.
Maybe I'll try to come back on.
Whatever.
Yeah, we're going to call it a night.
So, everybody, thank you for bearing with me as I tried to do some kind of show.
It didn't work out.
But you guys are all troopers.
And you guys are all winners in my book.
I'm sure I am in your book as well so that's it if you want to reach us here
KDK prank calls calm or visit the my home page this is madhouse live it'll do
it for me you very much for trying guys I tried and I love you all catch you
We'll see you here on Thursday.
Bye for now.
I got your dirty laundry over here.
Who? Who is it?
On my face.
There's one person right here, and that person's in the room.
Can't stay in your car.
You like this?
Yeah.
Calling me from block number.
I didn't know a block number.
It was hanging.
Look, man, I heard your whole conversation.
Don't make me call the police.
Yeah, you know what's up.
Yeah, it's not you.
I'm going to blackmail you.
So scared.
Third-day-ass motherfucker, what's your problem now?
Jive turkey, you bitch.
You didn't hear, boy.
You jive turkey motherfucker.
Who's this?
Man, you can show me a place where I'm about to go whoop some motherfuckers ass
because I don't even know who the fuck you're talking about.
How much are you going to charge?
You got to pick somebody up over here to attack the cab.
Man, this ain't no motherfucking taxi cab.
I'm trying to fucking pick somebody up.
I'm going to whoop this goddamn ass.
I kicked the ass of y'all little bitches and your goddamn mother.
What?
Your mother.
You motherfucking niggas.
How you like that, you piece of shit?
I know.
They're fucking niggas.
I'm a bitch.
You niggas motherfuckers.
He's a pioneer, my man.
What?
Man, I'm a motherfucking 50-private goddamn phone.
This is a white man that don't want to hear from no goddamn niggas calling me in the fucking middle of the night.
Listen, listen, boy.
Listen, boy.
Listen, boy.
I'll show you a boy with a 12-gauge shotgun, motherfucker.
Listen, cracker.
Listen to that three letters.
Listen here, cracker.
Listen here, cracker.
You got that, honky?
I'll show you some fucking three-letter, motherfucker.
I'll see you here.
I'll see you here.
Are you Michael Frazier?
Man, this ain't Michael Frazier, man.
This is a white man.
What's up, Mr.
uh look let me just ask you real quick first of all um why don't you shut the hell why don't you
shut the hell up fuck you you stupid bitch we would give you a couple hundred dollars though
Are you ready?
I wish I was the governor.
Just pretend I'm sitting on you, okay?
No problem.
Okay.
I don't got to go.
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Yeah.
Well, I got to go.
Please do wash your hands.
Yeah.
All right.
Some kind of license have where you have to do this stuff.
So this is a very interesting radio you have.
Very interesting radio thing if you have that, you know, because, like, that's, um,
it just shows me that you have, like, nothing going.
No, I got plenty.
This is what we do, man.
I do this all the time.
This is what you feel like.
Talk stupid.
People actually listen to this shit.
Everybody listens to this shit.
Not everybody, because anybody with a half a brain that I know don't listen.
Anybody with a half a brain would listen to this show instead of eating your shitty-ass pizza.
How old are you?
Thirteen.
Yeah, fucking right.
You sound like you're fucking eighteen or nineteen.
I'm thirteen, I said.
Yeah, right.
Yes, I was born thirteen years ago, last Friday.
I'm hanging up, and you better not call.
Do you have stripes in your underwear?
Do I have what?
Stripes in your underwear.
You are a sick fuck.
Come on, let me talk to your sister, man.
Be a pal.
No!
Have you ever seen your sister naked?
No!
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