MADHOUSE-March30th2006.060410.0

or some of those men in Washington.

You son of a bitch, you motherfucking...

I know you speak English, I see.

You motherfucking...

Go ahead, man.

Motherfucker, you.

You bitch.

I'm punching him out.

Mow my lawn.

You motherfucking...

Why are you so angry?

Where's Pasquale?

Fuck you, man.

We're so high right now.

We're not low.

Smoke weed every day.

Now I'm listening to Bizarre Soul

And I'm your boy, Young Miles, the future

And my meat cracker for y'all

Put your motherfuckin' heads in your dick

Shower cap, kickin' the nasty

Dirty 50s rap, I'm Detroit Center

Hey, whoa, that's loud.

What's up, everybody?

You're listening to a special goddamn edition of the Madhouse here

on a Sunday morning, 2.11 a.m., April the 9th.

And here on the line, live, I have Jupe.

What's up, Jupe? How you doing, bro?

Oh, I'm doing great tonight.

How are you, man?

I'm doing good. I'm doing good. It's good to hear from you. Thank you for being on. I'm so short-noticed.

All right. That's all cool.

All right. And I believe we have Milkman. Milkman, are you there? Please check in.

Hello. Hello. Welcome. Welcome. How we doing?

Not bad. Not bad, Milkman. You can't hear Milkman, but he can hear you, and I'll translate anything he wants to say to you in a second.

If you don't mind bearing with us, we should be good to go.

So, yeah, a lot of stuff happening tonight, apparently.

I think my sound quality is really bad right now.

I might have a low battery in my cordless phone, and that might affect things here, but we'll see how we do.

We'll weigh in on some things that happened tonight, I guess.

We might do a prank call or two if anybody has numbers out there to want to send.

Excuse me.

You can also reach us toll-free here at 888-278-8509.

I'm going to try to fix this mic here real quick.

It's going to sound like shit for a few minutes at least.

Sorry, everybody. Just bear with me here.

Jupe, what are your thoughts on what happened tonight on PCU with the whole Zolark thing?

You think it's legit? You think it's a phase? You think it's a permanent thing?

You know, it's kind of the same thing happened to me.

When I had the Friday slot, like, way back, like, in the summer, and I kind of quit.

Like, I just stopped doing it.

Right.

Because I wanted to go out and do shit.

Exactly.

But you eventually, like, come back and, like, miss doing it.

It drags you back.

It's like, you know, kind of drags you back into it, you know what I mean?

It's, um, I've felt like that before, even recently, especially now.

I thought about taking a hiatus for a week or two and maybe doing something on a Thursday night, go out, do some shit.

But no, I haven't done it.

I can see getting burned out on it.

I'm sure you can too, Jupe.

Milkman's always on here too.

Milkman, you get burnt out too sometimes, I bet.

Yeah.

There's times when I like to take a little break.

Yeah, there's always something.

I mean, going on, I'm sure Zolar's a very busy cat, you know, and he's got a lot of stuff going on on his end also.

I mean, I'm sure he's got plenty of stripper parties or Howard Stern fan-related stuff that he can do.

And if he wants to do his own thing, then, I mean, that's by all means.

And I expect him to come back myself.

I could definitely trade nights with him and do a Thursday night thing with Zolar and a Friday night thing with myself.

But if that's not possible, then so be it.

But I guess what we're going to do now, is that the official thing, Jupe, from what you heard?

Lego's doing the whole Friday night thing.

It's all going to be his block now, huh?

Yeah, that's cool.

I've never listened to Dr. Lego really before.

Right.

I don't know if he's that good or bad.

Have you listened to him?

Lego?

I listen to him just about every week.

I catch at least the last half of his show, if not more.

Sometimes I can't hear the whole thing because, you know, I get in late on a Friday, sometimes after work.

But I support him.

I like his stuff, he's very hard on himself, but I'm the same way, you know, on my show, I'm hard on myself, I keep saying that I suck all the time, but he does a good show, and Zolar does a good show, everybody here does a good show, Jupe, you guys do a good show over there, you guys are hard on yourselves also, but, um, I mean, it's not a bad thing, it's not a bad thing, I, I question, is Lego gonna be available on a weekly basis to, to hold the important Friday night slot, is what my question is, he's a busy guy too, right, he, he comes across as being busier than Zolar is sometimes with,

his band and his business and his other business and his other business

and his other stuff that goes on in his life.

So I don't know what that's going to lead to.

I don't know.

It's going to be weird.

I don't have Zolot to look forward to on a Friday night, but so be it.

If it's over, then it's over.

But like I said, I'm sure he'll be back.

Jupe, I don't know.

You agree yourself?

Yeah.

Like, I'm sure Lego will be just a fine house,

and if he really sets his mind to it, he'll be determined to do it.

And I know Zola will eventually come back

It's not like a permanent thing

It's not a permanent thing

He loves doing it, I know he loves doing it

I have a feeling he might have something going on

Behind the scenes with Sirius, to be honest with you

And I've gathered that from a few things

That he said and everything

I was trying to explain this in the chat room

And people weren't following me

He said that, you know, last week

On my show, he said he was going to do a submission

For the Howard Stern Film Festival

And then the last show that we did

he came around and said that he couldn't because there was some kind of conflict of interest thing

and people who are involved with Sirius can't be his submitters and stuff and I and he also said

he was talking to Tim Sabian who's the program director at Sirius he talked to him Thursday when

he was there for the Stern Roundtable so it may very well be that he's just gonna be getting his

own thing on Sirius you know on Howard 102 I guess just starting a new you know a new channel on

there and if that's so good for him you know what I mean he uses as a stepping stepping board and

and he moved on up, and, you know, no hard feelings there,

but it's hard to see a lot of people in the chat room

also hating on him all of a sudden, you know?

Everyone's just a tickled douchebag in there.

They can't think for themselves.

Yeah, yeah.

You know, I put a hiatus on myself in the chat room this week.

I didn't visit there until my show Thursday,

and I stayed in for Friday

because I wanted to be involved there in Zolar's show,

and then I stayed in today because it was a really, I don't know,

I mean, I think the chat room is mostly, the most active the chat room ever gets is Friday and Saturday night, so I decided to go in, you know, and I had thought about earlier about trying not to be in the chat room any longer unless it was during the week because it's taken a really negative tone kind of thing, you know, lately, and I don't know, it's kind of a bring down myself, I don't know if maybe that's what got Zohar going, maybe he just heard comments and stuff and people giving him shit, maybe that brought him down, and if that's so, I'm sure he'll be back, because I know there are more people here that like him than dislike him,

And the people in the chatroom just liking him tonight

I think we're just kind of people

We're just, you know, looking to ruffle some feathers

People like Saigon and Reglatz and shit like that

Just going in there, looking to start some trouble

Because controversy is to be had

So that's that

Milkman, do you have any comments you want to make real quick on him?

Juke can't hear you, but Juke, just hang on here

We'll let Milkman talk, we'll let you know when he's done

Go ahead, Milkman

Yeah, the way I look at it is Zolar

Zolar is probably one of the most dedicated hosts on the network

There's several dedicated hosts

And Zolar gives a lot of time for free to all of us.

And he doesn't get a lot of recuperation for it, but he does enjoy what he do.

And I think that maybe Zolar would like to take a break.

He's specified several times he's gotten sick.

He still went on.

He's went on two or three hours after he's done sitting off.

In my opinion, Zolar is probably trying to take a break.

And being a very honest man like he is, instead of trying to leave KDK hanging and like, well, I might be back or I might not, you know, maybe I'll have the spot, maybe I won't.

He's just going to be a man and say, look, KDK, I got to get off here.

And for whatever reasons, possibly, like you did note, there are some background things, I think, maybe issues that he may be concerned with in his new networking with the whole thing over there at Sirius.

I mean, I've been listening to some of the stuff on Sirius, and I've heard his comments, I've heard your comments,

and it very well could be there could be a conflict of interest at this moment in time that he should back out and see how it plays out.

But I think Zolar will be back when he gets a chance and gets a little break.

He just needs a break.

So guys, I wouldn't lose hope on Zolar.

Zolar likes what he does.

He likes to bust people's nuts.

He enjoys it.

He'll be back to smash someone's nuts again.

in all right i'm in awe of what zolar does on a weekly basis he does long super long shows he's

gone up to i'll tell you what there have been twice in the last month that i've gotten up you

know at 5 a.m gone by the computer and seen people actually saying he's still on at five in the

morning you know zolar is still on there prank calling people and talking and playing music and

entertaining people and the numbers are up and that says something for his his talents and his

ability to entertain a crowd especially the pcu crowd so he's good at what he does i mean he does

shows he'll start at 10 o'clock if you can imagine starting at 10 o'clock and going all the way till

three four in the morning sometimes non-stop maybe takes a break or two small break that's

something i never do because you know i can never go more than three hours at the most myself i get

burnt out so that that tells you a lot so he's good at what he does and i hope to i hope it's

It's not an extended period without him.

I hope it's only a temporary thing, and I would bet top dollar that he'll be back.

Maybe he'll be back next week, as a matter of fact, and go out in good fashion.

So there it is.

There it is.

Jupe, let me ask you a question.

Yeah.

You said that you originally had the Friday night.

That used to be your night back when you had your show originally.

Is that how it went?

Oh, yeah.

Was there a different feel?

Did you like a Friday night better than what you're doing now on a Saturday night?

You know, Saturday, I just wish I could start a little later, because it's like, it's inconvenient, because like, my mom's always down there fucking doing laundry at 8 o'clock on Saturday, and that's all. Friday night was a good slot, but I can deal with 8 o'clock, and I think I might just be starting like at 6 o'clock every week instead.

That's true. I like that today. I heard you're showing its entirety. Hang on, Milkman's going to say something. Go ahead, Milkman.

maybe a suggestion to help out jupe and uh jupe see the household there help mom do the laundry

you'll have that lot you'll have that dryer out before your show goes on all right milkman says

that maybe you should help out your mom with the laundry before the show starts so you don't have

to worry about that whole racket during your show fuck that yeah does your mom do your laundry for

you do you do your own laundry yet or are you still at that stage no i'm not gonna do my laundry

oh man you're gonna have to do your laundry someday even do you could you think you could

do a load of laundry if you had to like if your mom said tomorrow that's oh i know how to do it

i just i don't wanna he's don't wanna okay all right well there you go must be nice enjoy it

while you can because pretty soon you're going to be out doing your own laundry and that's always

fun exactly man i i i fucked up my lawn my first load of laundry when i left college

left for college the first time i just about completely flooded out the laundromat with

soapy water i did i just jumped like half the bottle of tide inside the machine i didn't know

know what the hell it was i was like all right just throw it all in there and i left you know

i went to this two stores down i came back and half the laundry mat was flooded over with like

soapy water and suds and stuff and i freaked out i grabbed my stuff and i threw in the basket and

i ran out of there and and i went to my mom's house the next day and had her do it for me

so i had to run back to mom and have her do it for me in that in that sad you it must be nice

yeah it must be nice yeah i had to do my laundry since about sixth grade man i mean i i wasn't

allowed to pretend it was like i had to take turns and do it i had to do dishes i had to do all that

nasty shit so i ate it still but you know i had to start early yeah there you go so jew what else

can we talk about today you want to try to do a prank call i got some numbers from lonesome loser

they're confirmed oh sure you're good all right here's what we got we got ted turner we got doreen

Green Dread, and we got Rahit Boob.

Rahit Boob.

Rahit Boob, an Arab woman in Omaha, Nebraska.

I didn't know they existed in Omaha, Nebraska, but apparently they do.

And this is confirmed about an hour ago.

Let's see if they're still there.

You want to take this one, Joop?

Oh, sure.

Right on.

All right, here comes Joop with the first prank call of the extended night.

We'll be right back after this, folks.

Don't go anywhere.

And I'll give her back her bag of cucumbers and Vaseline.

You do that.

Cucumbers and Vaseline.

Go ahead, Boob.

Yeah.

Well not was what a yeah and the common the chat room Arabs are all over the place apparently they are I hear a lot

About that. I want to have my name's last name or a first name. Yeah, sounds really real at the jizz in her hair

High school somebody snatched the Burke off some girl's head. She started Chris. It's pretty sad was funny

It seemed we've got a dollar plus in a a a IE a Hawaii

I, uh, a, uh, I, uh, a dollar plus, um, try Doreen Dredd or Ted Turner.

Let me say real quick, I'm sorry, KDK, um, I didn't know you wanted to keep going on.

I kicked you because I thought you were done, and, and Joop said you were going to go on,

and I thought I was going to go on, so we decided to go on together.

So, my bad. Joop, I'm sure you're sorry that we cut KDK off short, but...

Man, it was all, it's all you.

It's all us, I guess. It's all our fault.

Anyway, let's do this. You want to try one more, dude?

Oh, sure.

Okay, you want to try that $1 plus in Hawaii?

Fuck yeah.

Milkman, what time is it in Hawaii right now?

It's a five-hour difference, so it's 7.20 p.m., is it?

7.25.

What do you say to a fucking $1 plus in Hawaii?

I don't know, 7.25.

I wonder if it's one of those all-you-can-buy, everything's a dollar,

or if it's just like everything's cheap.

I mean, there's two different kind of dollar stores.

There's the kind where everything is a dollar,

and there's the one where, like, everything is, you know, $3, $4, $5.

I guess we'll have to find out.

Anyway.

One's $1.30.

I think you may be talking about dollar store.

Dollar store.

It's a dollar, you know, use a dollar for an item.

I don't know.

Those Arabs run those dollar pluses all over the place, too.

I'm going to complain about it.

All right.

Hang on, everybody.

Here comes another prankage, if you don't mind.

All right.

I'll start this one off.

Hang on, dude.

Hang on, everybody.

Early because they're Hawaiian.

Thank God you guys are still open.

Is this the dollar plus?

The dollar plus.

Okay, great.

Great. What's your price structure like over there? Are you guys one of those everything's a dollar kind of deal, or is it different?

Dollar plus.

So it's plus a dollar? Like a dollar one?

Looking for a dollar store.

Well, whatever. As long as you guys got some toilet paper for a dollar, then we're in business.

Toilet.

Single roll? Is that one-ply or two-ply? It's not that sandpaper shit, is it?

It really irritates me. Have you used it before? Is that what you guys have in the bathroom over there? Do you grab it off the shelf and use the...

I'm here at the hotel right now, actually at the Marriott.

Where are you guys located?

Waimalu.

Waimalu?

What's that?

Is that the street?

Okay, if you're new in the islands, you're not going to be able to find this is a small shopping center.

Well, I'm in Aia right now.

You go someplace in that area?

Yeah.

This is in the country?

Yeah, well, that's where I'm at right now, in Aia.

Doing some botany studies, and I need some toilet paper.

I just made this nasty mess in the bathroom here in the RV,

and I'm thinking about stopping by, picking up some toilet paper, because it looks like we're out of it.

You can go to any supermarket.

No, but no, no, no, no, no. You don't understand. I only have a dollar left here.

It's really expensive to fly over to Stinkin' Island, you know what I mean?

And to be honest with you, there's not a lot of Americans here either.

But I'm over here near Kahiki, Healy Street, you know?

Yeah, on Cock Mac Street.

I only can get one roll for 61 cents.

What do you mean? I can get as many rolls as I want.

It's just, you know, you get something like long...

What, do you get some kind of rationing on the paper here or something? What's the matter?

I can't talk.

Sure you should.

It was just telling me to go somewhere else at best.

Hey, dollar plus man, you there still?

Yeah, he's there.

Hey.

Hey, dollar plus guy.

Hey, cheap bastard.

Please enter the number you wish to call.

Let's call Los Habaneros, a Mexican restaurant in Kaliwa, Kona.

Please enter the number you wish to call.

Shut up, bitch.

I hate that bitch.

Hold your ears, everybody.

Thirty-four.

Minute.

You're taking this one?

Sure, what are we calling, a Mexican restaurant?

No!

Los Habaneros.

You know, I've got a problem with the name over there.

My name is Julio.

I'm a Mexican man

Well, I'm of Mexican descent

And I'm awfully trifled with the idea

That you think all Mexican establishments

Have to be named after something Mexican

They have to be named after something

Like Mexican food or fucking, you know

Sir, are you going to be placing an order?

Yes, order you to change the name of your establishment

Here's a bike

Oh, you fucking

You know what I realized? Habanero's is like a band on like Cuba, not Mexican.

Habanero.

Oops.

Ooh, there's a Los Garcias. I'll take that one.

Okay.

Because I'm Eddie Garcia. That's your favorite character.

That's my favorite character.

Please enter the number you wish to call.

Excuse me, Jupe.

Minute.

Chinese food coming up, man. That's not good.

Someone's telling me...

Los Garcias can help you.

Hey, yo, how you doing, man?

Good, can help you.

Yo, my last name is Garcia, too.

Uh-huh.

Yo, that's crazy. What kind of food y'all got, Cuban?

No, Mexican.

Yo, Mexican, yo, just like me, yo.

Yo, what the fuck, yo?

Yo, Garcia.

Yo, is this Garcia?

Yeah, bro, hold on.

You like a to-go order?

Yeah, I need to speak to Garcia.

Oh, he's not in right now.

Who's talking?

Make a message.

Yo, my name is Garcia, too, yo.

Right on, bro.

Yeah, so what you all got there?

Y'all got some...

What you need?

Y'all got anything with jalapenos?

Hold on, bro.

You need a to-go order?

Yeah, no, I want to come in, yo.

Yo, come in before 10 o'clock, bro.

It is 10 o'clock.

It's before.

I need my VIP chair, though.

What do you mean VIP chair?

Yo, I'm a Garcia, yo, with some of my military ID.

It says Eddie Garcia.

Nobody gave you a VIP chair, bro.

Yeah, but I was in the war.

Okay, well, good to know, bro.

I appreciate it.

Yeah, but it says here, if your last name is Garcia, you get a free burger and you eat at the free table.

It's AMC?

Yep.

Yo, what's wrong with you?

Yo, I'm a veteran, yo.

Yeah, good, bruh.

I got kicked out of the war, though.

Yo, I did. I killed five of my

old men on accident.

My bad.

Yeah, well, take my order.

Take my order, yo.

No, I got it now.

I'm gonna come pick it up.

Yeah, that's what I said, yo.

Yo, my name is Private Garcia.

It's

lightning here, yo.

These numbers are coming, uh, to everybody.

Thanks to Lonesome Loser in the chat room.

Thank you, Lonesome Loser.

Hey, Lonesome Loser.

Affirming at 2.38 AM. That's crazy.

What a trooper.

You should give him a show, man.

Fuck, yo.

Think they just hung up on you?

Well, I'm gonna call back.

That's what we told the phone bitch comes back here.

Yo, my father's gonna fire you.

Told you I'm Garcia.

I'll see you.

Please enter the number you wish to call.

Milkman, what were you going to ask, man?

I had you on mute because of the fan.

Oh, it's all right.

I turned it off.

It's over with me.

It's not relevant anymore.

Yo, and I want, like, just a little bit of cheese on it.

And a little bit of cheese.

That's it.

You got all that?

No, I never got nothing, but you got to come down here and order it.

Yo, what the fuck, yo?

Yo, my dad's going to fire you.

Fuck you.

What the fuck, dude?

Asshole.

Okay.

Do you want to keep going, Jupe, or do you got to go?

I just want to sit down and listen to this.

All right.

I don't feel like I'm putting anything into it.

That's okay.

Well, I'm sorry.

Well, hey, keep listening, man.

Thank you for joining, man.

You wish to call.

All right.

We will, lady.

Anyway, Jupe, thanks for calling in, man.

It's always a pleasure.

Please enter the number.

All right.

We're being rushed off the phone here.

All right, man.

Peace out, my friend.

Later.

Jupe, big Jupe.

Ooh, my voice is fucked up.

There we go.

That's better.

Ah, much better.

Yeah.

oh yeah nice one yeah i was man i'm burping like a fiend and i'm sweating my ass off too man it's

fucking hot it's so i am too man i turn off the freaking fan man and my guts are rumbling like a

thunderstorm man from that spaghetti i had tonight you gotta take a shit no man it's just rumbling

through me man yeah i'm on my third beer and i've had two somas tonight so i'm about to get

I'm about to get really fucked up

hopefully I wake up in the morning

you're going to be polluted

whatever

I was doing taxes today

I was doing my parents taxes today

drunk

I was doing my parents taxes tonight

drunk listening to KDK

and I think for some reason

they're getting a huge return

I think I might have done it wrong

so I printed it

and I'll see anyway in the chat room

if you're not in the chat room

I don't know if I'm going to give out

the normal shout outs to everybody

because for the most part if you're listening now you're probably a pcu regular we have 37

listeners right now for 3 a.m which isn't bad i guess not bad man you kidding i can't fucking

complain half the numbers yet nope nope nope hang on we got a call an exclusive call take it any

second now hold on get my chinese you think you can maybe finger you know like go down on your

girl like live on the air for us here real quick can i lick your pussy live on the air do that

Yeah, shit, man.

When you come back down with my Chinese food, all right?

For real, she's going to do it?

Yep, yep, she said no problem.

All right, my phone's dying here, hang on.

In fact, she wants me to lick her pussy while I have a piece of broccoli in my mouth.

Oh, nice, nice, hang on.

I'm going to walk around here around the apartment while I get the other phone.

Hopefully it's charged up enough.

So what's up, Lego?

What's going on with you tonight, man?

Nah, man, you know, I lost, my fucking throat is killing me.

I lost my voice, but I'm ready to prank.

Good deal, good deal.

Hopefully.

You know what?

I didn't charge up my phones after the last show.

I'm like a dumbass.

I sat here, my fat ass, doing nothing.

Can you plug it in?

Yeah, I got another one here.

I had to charge it for about 15 minutes, so we should be able to get a few pranks in here.

We'll wait for the one to die, and then we'll...

We got, like, Sam for the Sun going operation.

Listen, can you say that?

For the most part, yeah.

Get me a drugstore in Hawaii.

This guy.

Lonesome Loser will get you a drugstore in a second here.

I know.

I got a place called The Stool Tool.

Cool. If that's not a gay boy, I don't know what is.

All right, go ahead.

Do you want to wait for a drugstore, though? Hang on.

Yeah.

I also got a, speaking of Chinese food, we get the Po Sing Chicken.

No, I'm sorry, the Po Sing Kitchen.

All right.

And we got another Mexican restaurant here also, if you want to call that.

Sure.

Is it up to me, as usual?

Yeah, well, no. You know, any of those work for me.

All right, let's call the Mexicans, then.

Okay.

Okay, in the process, I'm going to have to do a little switcheroo with the phone.

All right, so hang on, Lego, and hang on, everybody else.

We're coming back with a prank call.

Then, Lego, I'm going to talk to you live on the air, if you don't mind.

Surely.

All right, then.

We'll be right back, everybody.

Hang on.

Okay, Lego, can you say something for me real quick?

Check one, three.

Awesome.

We got it.

Okay, hang on.

Okay, here we go.

Mexican restaurant.

Cool.

We're calling Los Chaparros.

This is Lisa.

Hey, Lisa, how you doing?

Lisa?

Yes.

Yes, Ricardo, how are you?

I'm sorry?

All right, listen, I want to pick up an order.

I'm sorry, I can't see you.

I would like to get to go.

No, open your ears a little, okay?

Because you've got to fucking listen to me here.

I want to pick up an order to go.

Okay, what can I get for you?

All right, I want to get two hard tacos.

Oh, we only have soft tacos.

Oh, I like my tacos hard, my men.

All right, I'll take the soft, two soft tacos with bison beef.

With what in beef?

Bison.

I'm sorry, we have shredded beef.

Right, that's what I want, in a brown sauce.

Brown sauce?

Well, what do you mix the beef in, like a spicy brown sauce?

We cook it with chipotle peppers, onions, garlic.

Oh, I love that.

You sound so hot.

What can I get for you?

I'm saying, is it hot or is it mild?

I would say it's medium.

Can I get them extra hot?

Okay.

So I'll take the two soft tacos like that.

And what else do you recommend?

I'm sorry, wait.

So this is a two-item combo with shredded beef, both spicy.

I don't want the combo.

Oh, just a la carte?

Yeah, I want the carte and the tacos.

Okay.

All right, and what else, like a quesadilla, burrito, what else you got?

We have quesadillas, burritos, tamales.

All right, can I get some French fries?

Sorry, we don't have French fries.

Oh, you don't have French fries?

Okay, because most Mexican places I know have them.

What kind of, like, what do you have in place of French fries?

Well, for sides, you have your choice of rice and beans or soup or salad.

Are the beans kosher?

Yes.

Okay, so there's no, like, pork or, like, lobster in them?

No, there's nothing. There's just beans. Baked beans like Heinz.

All right, I'll take the beans.

Do you want to add that to your two tacos?

Yeah, it's like a baked bean, right? Like a brown bean?

It's like a pinto bean.

All right, you know, a pinto or a Corvette, Volkswagen, I don't care.

I just want like the Heinz, you know, they make it like the Heinz beans.

It's got like, it's like a brown sauce with it, right?

There's no sauce.

Well, I'm saying it's tasty. It tastes good.

Yes, but we just...

Sweet.

No, they're not sweet.

Oh, they're not sweet.

What do they taste like?

They're just regular Mexican pot beans, and then they're cooked with oil and refried.

I only want them fried once.

You don't have to refry them.

Okay.

So that sounds good to me.

So we got the two tacos, we got the beans, and I guess that's it.

I don't want to eat too much because it's getting late.

Okay.

So it's going to be a two-item combo with all beans, no rice.

Is that correct?

Right.

What's your name?

My name's Lisa.

Lisa, all right.

All right, so when will this be ready?

We're going to have this ready for you in about 10 minutes.

Oh, wow, okay.

I'll probably be like 10, 15 minutes because I've just got to put my pants on.

Are you busy there tonight?

Sounds like there's a band playing or something.

You want to put it under my name or should I just pick it up?

No, no, no.

Victor, let me give you my cell phone.

It's 310-217-7891.

That completes your order then.

Put it on, yeah.

Tacos with all beans.

What do you think of that?

Do you think that's good?

In 15 minutes?

Yeah, 15 minutes.

Yeah, I get, you know, let me just think.

Could I be there in 10 minutes?

I need 20, probably.

I don't know.

You know, I'm just trying to think.

Do you guys have a salad?

Yes, we do.

What kind of salad do you have?

We have a house salad.

We have a lochaparro salad.

The lochaparro salad has corn.

All right, you know what?

That's too exotic for me, all that crap.

You don't have, like, a Caesar salad?

Salad.

Salad, which just has lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, red onion, and cheese.

What kind of cheese?

Shredded Monterey and Jack.

Nah, that's too heavy for me.

What do you have to drink?

What kind of drinks do you have?

Diet Coke, lemonade, iced tea, fruit punch, chorizo, sangria, horchata.

Oh, fruit punch.

Dr. Pepper.

I'll have Dr. Pepper.

Dr. Pepper.

All right, what do you have again?

Dr. Pepper.

Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite, lemonade, Sprite.

Orange.

Do you have orange?

We have orange chorizo.

Orange who?

Teresa?

Teresa.

Oh, I don't know what that, what is that, like an energy drink?

It's a bottle of Mexican soda in a glass bottle.

Okay, and what does that mean it's Mexican?

The water's not good in it or something? I'm going to get sick.

It's a Mexican brand of soda.

Right, so they make it with that Mexican water that makes you sick over there.

You're supposed to not drink the water when you go there.

Zuma.

Okay, so you're not interested in the soda.

Well, that's what they say, right?

The revenge.

Except tap water.

All right, I want soda, I just, you don't have the flavors I like, I don't think.

What about root beer?

We went through all of the flavors that we have.

We do not have root beer.

We do not have orange soda.

All right.

No, because sometimes when I order from places, even though they run down the list,

they don't always mention all the things.

Like, they might have cans or something.

I mean, I don't mean to be rude.

You don't have to get snippy with me.

I'm not getting snippy with you.

I'm just confirming that we don't have the sodas that you're asking for.

Okay.

Then what about beer?

We don't have our liquor.

You don't have any beer?

No.

Not even a Mexican beer?

We don't have any beer.

Okay, you only serve wine and sangria?

Wine. We don't have our liquor license.

Isn't sangria alcoholic?

We only have non-alcoholic sangria.

Ah, that makes sense, because you can't serve alcohol. All right.

Did you want one of those?

Is it good?

Very good.

So good.

Sweet. All right, can you, can I, I'll tell you what.

Let's do the sangria and a bottle of salsa.

Small.

I guess, yeah.

Oh, you have tiramisu?

What do you have for dessert?

Chocolate Kahlua cake, bread pudding, and slime.

Do you have key lime pie?

Yeah, pie.

Is that a Mexican delicacy?

What's that?

Key lime pie.

I don't think so.

It's a fried ice cream.

Yeah, fried ice cream.

Oh, we don't have that.

He just said, I just heard the guy in the background.

Sorry.

Is this your order?

What about my order?

This is your order.

Okay, Lisa, yeah, but I mean, come on.

I don't understand why you gotta be a little, you know, all messed up on me.

Just trying to get it straight, you know?

Just trying to get a good meal going here.

Okay, well, I'm just trying to make sure this is everything you want so I can get it ready for you.

All right.

What's the band there tonight?

There's no band.

Oh, there's no band.

You don't have, like, some guy, like, with a hat on playing the chinchilla?

Your tamale's so hard.

All right.

Are you Mexican?

Like, is this authentic Mexican food made by Mexicans?

All right.

Because if it was made by some, like, you know, Korean guy, I wouldn't want it.

Why is that?

Because then it's not authentic Mexican food.

If I wanted, like, Korean food, I'd go get, like, Korean to make my food.

So I love you, and I'll see you in like 15 minutes order with the two taco combo the sangria and a small salsa

All right, I'll be there and I'll get the sangria with the seltzer and the tacos and the and the baked beans all right

I'll be wearing a green shirt. Thank you very much. All right. We're something skimpy

I'll see a little bit how long can you keep an idiot on the phone?

I don't know man even with all the dirty talk in the background fucking hoe she was it was funny

I thought somebody I didn't realize that was you saying get the fried ice cream

I'm making gay sounds all the time.

You want to do one more?

I got tons of shit from Lonesome Loser, the man.

Let's do one.

I got your drugstore in the Kalua Mall shopping center.

Hang on.

Go ahead.

Bless me.

It's a long drugstore in Honolulu.

Tasting Chinese.

Thank you for calling.

How may I help you?

Hello?

Yeah, I got a really bad sore throat.

Uh-huh.

What do you got?

Second piece.

Fourth piece.

Don't put me on hold long.

Feeling good.

Okay, let me.

I have to page someone in order to answer your questions.

I have to put you on hold.

Well, what do you think the best cough syrup is?

Hold.

It's to take some cough medicine with cough drops.

Yeah, which one do you recommend?

Anyone is good.

Robitussin is good.

Yeah, you like that one?

Yeah.

All right.

Because I was thinking maybe I would just take, like, a tampon and stick it in the back of my throat,

and it would, like, ease the pain a little.

Sir, I don't think that's going to help.

All right.

Well, then, what about NyQuil?

NyQuil is good if you need that.

Will that help me sleep, too?

Yes, sir.

If I drink a whole bottle of it, can I hallucinate?

Please.

No, wait. Listen, what about... Do you guys have any of that...

Ugh.

I like the way she's talking... You asked for some Cody.

Fuck Hawaii, anyway, man. You know what I mean?

Come on.

All these are Hawaiian hitmen.

I hate that.

Milkman says I'm the Hawaiian hitman. I'm so fucked up, dude.

Why don't you put me on fucking hold?

I don't know what the fuck with cold.

...16th is Easter, and that means specials are hopping at your neighborhood...

Yo!

...drug store.

Next week is Easter?

What the fuck, man?

Thank you for your patience during this brief delay.

Peter's Cottontail.

Fuck Easter, too, man.

You know what I mean, Lego?

Fuck Easter.

Can you call back there?

Fucking niggers, man.

Hey.

Can you call back there?

Speaking of Peter's Cottontail...

Hang on.

I'll put you right through.

Hang on, Lego.

Thank you for coming.

I'm trying to help you.

Yeah, listen.

Are you the same girl I was talking to?

Um, yes.

Why are you putting me on hold like that?

I answered your question, and I needed to talk to a pharmacist for you.

Okay, listen, you know, I have a little bit of a mental problem,

and, you know, so I don't, sometimes I say things, it's like a,

I have something called Tourette's Syndrome.

Sometimes I'll say things that I don't mean to say,

and I have a sore throat, and it's, you know, I'm just, like, not feeling good tonight.

Okay, sir, all I can tell you right now is take some cough medicine, or if not, see a doctor.

Yeah, well, you know, I saw a doctor today,

and they said if I was uncomfortable to call the drugstore,

they would be able to help me.

He wouldn't give me a prescription because he said, hello?

Yes.

The doctor said the medicine that I'm already on can affect me

if I take certain drugs, and he didn't want to give anything to me.

Okay, so then you should listen to your doctor's approval.

He said I could help you with that, sir.

If you need, you need to talk to your doctor.

No, he's my doctor, really.

He's an ass.

I don't trust him. He's a new guy I'm seeing. He's like, you know, I think he just got out of medical school or something.

Do you know Dr. Kevorkian?

No, I don't. I'm sorry.

Yeah, he's in town here. He wanted to put me on this crystal meth stuff.

Okay, sir. I'm sorry if you're having trouble with your doctor, but I can't answer your question.

All right. So how much is a bottle of Fremonda juice?

What was that, sir?

How much is a bottle of Fremonda juice?

From what? I said, would you like me to call a food clerk for you?

A food clerk? I don't know if from under juice is a food category.

Okay, well I don't know exactly what that is, but would you like to talk to my manager?

Yeah, I would.

Okay, one second please.

SHUT UP MOTHERFUCKER!

YOU FUCKING...

GODDAMMIT!

Fucking nigger ass car alarm son of a bitch!

It was always a fucking problem here.

Always, always a fuckin' problem here, man, like, you know what I mean?

Yeah, well, talk to Ben.

Fuck my life.

Talk to Ben to get somebody good.

I gotta live blessed to the fuckin' immigrants!

Drugs by mail.

Where's this, Honolulu?

Yeah, Honolulu.

How long's the manager on the phone?

Man, I really need some pussy, man, you know what I mean?

I really need to, I really need to, I'm gonna go to Honolulu in a minute, myself.

You think my girl's cheating on me in Amsterdam, dude?

Nah, dude, I don't think she's cheating on you like what categorizes as cheating.

I think she might be sucking cock, but...

Cheating, motherfucker!

But if the guy doesn't come in her mouth, it's not cheating.

Is that how it is?

She was so fucked up today, man, when she called me.

I told you. It's all about drinking and getting pounded in the ass.

Let's fucking go to Amsterdam, dude. Let's all fucking save up and go.

Milkman said he's down.

Let's go.

I'm down.

We can do the show right from there.

I'm ready.

Fuck yeah.

Longs.

Long dong.

All right, call back.

Hang on, nigga.

What happened to Kim with the 69, Carlito?

Call back.

Hang on, Lego there, chief.

Punch you in the mouth, Lego, if you're here right now.

Cool.

Hello?

Yeah, is this the drugstore?

Who is this?

What's up?

What do you want?

It's Victor Maitland.

No, I was trying to call the drugstore.

My fucking throat was killing me.

And then some asshole put me on hold.

Oh, you got the wrong number.

What are you, Darren, what's going on?

What do you do?

What do you want?

Is this like an establishment or a home?

No, it's a personal residence.

Darren, don't get all fucked up on me.

I'm sorry, I'm not feeling good.

Stop calling over here.

When did I call?

Fucker.

Who the fuck is Darren?

He's a fucking stupid, pineapple-eating Hawaiian bitch.

Get him back on the phone.

We need to get some racist word for Hawaiian.

Yeah, I'll come up with something.

What's a racist, racist line, Kev?

Pineapple nigger.

Please enter the number you wish to call.

Hang on, I'm gonna hit readout.

Yeah, that's good. Pineapple nigger.

Entered is not valid.

Oh, fuck you.

Please try again.

You fucking cunt.

Please try to call again later.

You fucking cunt.

Fuck that bitch, man.

Why do you guys use this elaborate fucking phone system?

What the fuck?

Because, because we're not business owners like you, Lego, okay?

Oh, dude, fuck off.

You know, it's not my fault you're fucking getting laid, alright?

You know what?

It's not my fault that I don't have enough capital to start a business, okay?

Dude, you should let her get laid.

You know why?

Get it out of her system now, dude.

She'd never do it.

I just hope you fuck the hell out of her.

I hope you, like, made her pussy sure before she left.

Fuck, what are you talking about?

She came down for a weekend.

It was, like, 75% fucking.

That's all we did, man.

That's what I'm saying, man.

I hope you, like, fucking left burn marks on there where it'll fucking scab up and be non-useful for a week.

She fucking calls me begging for me to go up there to fuck this fucker.

That's all she...

No, man, I hold my house in order, all right?

I'm, like, the number one fucking...

I'm the number one pussy eater.

Well, remember...

Number one, I'm the number one pussy eater.

Number two, I got the cock.

You know what I mean?

Fuck.

Yeah, well, Mr. Cock, remember, if she can't get the cock, she's getting it somewhere else.

No, she's getting it from me, motherfucker.

That's what it is.

You're always on here.

Now, what's this? You actually let your woman hit it up with another dude?

If he's a cool guy, and, you know, dude,

it's a whole fucking thing.

I can't explain it.

I know.

It's a different thing.

It all depends on your relationship that you have.

Yeah, you know, the bottom line is if I didn't, she'd cheat on me.

So it's kind of like the legal way she can cheat.

I don't know, man.

But you're not married, but you've been together for like 10 years or something?

Dude, let me just tell you.

Tell me.

See, if you let your girl swing,

swing then it's all cool right now she's fucking some dude and she's cheating on you but she's not

though man i can tell you for a fact i know she called me today she's like all i'm doing is

thinking about you yeah oh it's not not when she's fucking drunk at a bar and there's some

fucking good looking amsterdam guy there she's not drunk with a big fucking bulge in his pants

she's fucking salvatating look amsterdam has nothing on carlito and i say here and now

Now, Amsterdam has nothing in Carlito because I fucked that bitch and she has, she has, she, she's good for, like, the next five months.

Dude, I'm not saying no.

I'm just telling you, you know, what happens in Amsterdam stays in Amsterdam.

It's not like that.

But seriously, we got to go to Amsterdam, dude.

She told me she went up there and it's, like, she called me today, tonight, you know, like, about three hours ago.

She's like, dude, it is insane over here, dude.

She, we're going to go next year again.

She's like.

Oh, yeah, dude.

Fuck yeah, that place is nuts.

She went there right now, she went to a coffee shop, the first one she went to was like a bakery, sat there and they bought brownies, and she said she got, it was like, it took like a half hour to kick in, but she got so fucked up, she's like, I just, she went to sleep, woke up two hours later, and she was still like high off her ass, she said, and I was like, oh shit.

Fucking her panties were down around her ankles and she had Vaseline on her ass.

You had this thing about proving to me that my girls, you know.

Listen, let me tell you.

I'm not like you. I satisfy my women. You know what I mean? I don't even want it. Myself, you know, in my history, I've never had a woman break up with me because I wasn't satisfying her.

Dude, it's not a matter of that. Some women have a bigger, like, fucking craving, a bigger desire.

They're not worth it. They're bitches. They're bitches. I will never break my back for a woman. Fuck a woman. You know what I mean?

Why do you say that?

Because fuck women, man.

Fuck women.

What do they fucking, what do they do to you?

So you're saying you want to go, like, gay and shit?

No, no, I'm saying what is...

You want to hang out with fucking Scott?

No, no, no.

What's one woman, what does one woman have that the next one doesn't have?

You tell me.

A hole's a hole.

Just like the jerky boy said, a hole's a fucking hole.

Wrong, man.

Some chicks have definite tight up pussy.

Fuck, yeah, so you find the next one, whatever.

If your bitch came there and started some shit with you, you know what?

You cut it off right there and you just start fucking some other hole.

Fuck it.

The difference is, I could fuck some other hoe and fuck my hoe.

See, you got the hookup right there.

I wish I was you, because you're not even married, right?

No.

Technically, she doesn't have half, right?

Well, you know, what is it, palimony or something?

Whatever the, no, tell me the truth, though.

You're not married, right?

Eh, you might as well call it that.

If you were, if you, let's say, okay, whatever fucked up.

If you and Kim just fucking split it off right now, okay?

Yeah.

Would she get half of your business?

Well, yes, man.

You'd see me on fucking, you'd see me on divorce court, man.

Fuck that.

Fuck that shit.

Because you're in New York, right?

But have you been?

After five years, man.

After five years, they own it.

Not in Florida.

Fuck that.

At least in Florida, if you don't have that marriage shit, if you don't have that contract,

if you didn't go to the JOP, Justice of the Peace, or the priest, you're straight.

That's how it should be.

Because fucking, you know what I mean?

A woman will change her fucking ass on you in a second.

Just this, look, do you hear this right here?

You hear that snap of the finger?

Just like that, a bitch will straight up fucking lose your ass

and go with some fucking Jamaican guy.

I'm with you, nigga, shit.

You know what I mean?

Fuck them women.

That's what I'm talking about.

They'll do anything in a second.

Anybody listening to me right now,

and let God know you've been in that position before,

you're older than me.

You've been burned by some of those bitches before, right?

I hate that shit.

Fuck that shit, man.

Talking about, I'm on my period, I got a headache.

Fuck that shit.

What's up with that?

Seriously.

Fucking woman.

You ever bang a, not a pregnant woman, you ever bang a married woman?

Yeah.

Business.

You bang, you, you.

I'll tell you, you got, I'm so mad, I'm going to go fucking smack her in the fucking face when I'm done.

Well, what happened with you getting her pussy live on the air?

Let's do it right now.

Nah, fuck it.

Now I'm going to kick her ass live on the air.

Do it now.

Come on.

Kim, come here.

Do the 69 on the air.

We want to hear that shit.

Dude, I actually have a recording of him fucking blowing me to completion.

Man, you're all talk.

You want to hear it?

You're all talk.

Let's hear it.

All right, hold on.

Legos right here right now, bitch.

I've been this drunk on the air ever in my life.

She ain't doing it.

She's not doing it because she's a woman.

No, she would do it.

She's working.

I just fucked up her...

I just did something to her computer, so she's fucking around.

Whatever.

You let me talk to her.

I bet you you won't because I'll set her straight.

Listen.

Yeah, exactly.

She's already on the other side of the room on her computer, she ain't getting up.

What can I tell you dude, at least my bitch ain't getting like two black cocks on her ass right now.

There are no fucking black people in Amsterdam, and if there are, they shouldn't be there.

Dude, there's no black people in Amsterdam?

There's no, I'll eat my hat if there's a fucking black man right now in Amsterdam.

Dude, when there is a black man in Amsterdam, it's like fucking over.

When there is, when a black man figures out what's going on in Amsterdam, he'll pimp that shit out, fuck it.

All right, so what else is happening, man?

I don't know.

You want to do another prank call?

You want to be...

Didn't you say you wanted to talk to me?

Yeah, we're talking right now.

What's this about?

All right, nigga, shit.

You know, you always talking shit about me.

Come on.

Man up.

Why do I talk about you, man?

Man up, Lego.

Man up.

Come on.

What do you mean, man up, man?

Man up.

Yo, man, bros before hoes, all right?

Bros before hoes.

Here we go again, taking my ideas, just like Zolar does.

What do you mean?

I'm just fucking with you.

You think this Zolar shit is...

here's what I think, alright, here's what my

thinking is, I think that they gave

Zolar a little hint that he's going to get

his own thing on Sirius, and he thinks

he's got to move on, and he's

got to hang out with the right people on Friday

nights, because that's when all the shit happens where he's

at, and he's going to get in

so he's going to kind of take a hiatus

and I don't have no beef with that, whatever

good for him, man, whatever it

takes, man, you know, if it was me, shit

I, you know, you know what I mean

but I honestly think

I honestly think, just like Joop said, just like Milkman says, just like KDK says, that he'll come back.

You know why?

Because he loves this shit.

Because this is the root of where it's at.

For me, this is where I'm going to be at.

So you're seriously going to do a Friday night show?

Are you going to start at 10 o'clock and go all the way?

I'll go on from like 10 to 10.15, no problem.

You're going to do a 15 minute show?

Yeah, that's all I need, man.

Do you know that I originally wanted the Friday night spot?

I'll tell you what.

If Zola really isn't going on, you take it.

Lego, you are Johnny Come Lately.

You know what that means?

I'll sing it for you.

Something kind of like a gay thing?

Motherfucker, I'll sing it for you.

When Johnny comes marching home again, hurrah.

Oh, now I got it.

At the last minute you come, this nigga here,

yo, I'm Lego, I'm going to take Friday night.

What's up?

Dude, you know, it's all good, man.

I'm just playing with you.

I can't do Friday night because my woman will kick my ass.

No, you're doing it now.

You've committed yourself.

I fuck on Friday night.

Dude, your woman will get pissed.

Let me tell you something right now.

Fuck that bitch.

You're going to be pissed at your woman.

You ain't.

In fact.

Look, fuck Kim.

Fuck Athena.

Fuck any other bitch out there because when it comes down there, bros are for hoes.

That's what I'm saying.

And that's why we should have a fucking room full of fucking hookers tonight.

Banging them on the air.

Fuck it.

Why aren't you here?

Why aren't you here in Atlanta right now?

Why don't you fly down or I fly up there and we do that shit, you know?

I've been telling Zolar, I'm coming up May 5th up north.

Okay.

Why don't we chill out?

Why don't we do something?

Where are you going to be?

You know what I mean?

Where are you going to be?

Where are you going to be up north?

I'm going to be in Pennsylvania.

I'll take a ride up to New York.

Dude, Pennsylvania, you're fucking an hour and a half away.

Fuck it.

Let's do it.

All right, fine.

May 5th, it's on.

May 5th, we're there.

Yeah, you know what?

Let's go to KDK's house and fucking kick his ass, too.

No, let KDK come here and we'll kick his ass, too.

Tired of him.

Tired of KDK.

Dude, I got...

Dude, we'll go to KDK's house.

It's like...

I mean, he's got a nice place, but, you know...

His radio set up's like Sanford and Son, dude.

Nice place, my ass.

He's got a...

You know what...

You know what a hud home is?

Dude, let me just tell you.

Don't let Zolot kid you, okay?

KDK's house...

KDK's on Section 8, motherfucker.

Bro, don't let KDK fool you.

He has, like, a fucking beautiful apartment with a fucking beautiful view of Manhattan.

He's got a view of Manhattan from Connecticut.

My dick.

My fat dick.

Oh, Zolar's got a view of Manhattan?

My bad.

I'm sorry.

Go ahead.

Continue.

Like, I'm sorry.

I'm stepping over you.

Go ahead.

Oh, KDK's got a really nice house.

He does?

Yeah.

He's got a fat apartment, dude.

And his upstairs neighbor is Crazy Dave?

Yeah.

Yep.

Okay.

He's got a lot of crazy neighbors.

Whatever you say, man.

So, yeah, what happened with Joop, dude?

Fucked you.

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah, Joopie.

He had to go.

Whatever.

Joopie was a little weird wacky tonight.

He wasn't on it.

You know, he's angry.

He's angry.

You know what got him all messed up?

Zolar.

That's what it is.

Yeah, because he's Zolar's, like, butt boy.

Exactly, man.

He's always licking Zolar's dick in the background.

What happened now?

What did Zolar do?

Zolar came true, right?

right? Yeah. He sold out. He sold you out. He sold KDK. He sold me out. He sold everybody

out tonight. And what are you going to do about it? What is Lego going to do about it?

Lego? What I'm going to do? I'll tell you what. Oh, by the way, you know, what I'm going

to do is I'm going to tell you the truth about Saigon. Saigon. Fuck that nigga Saigon. I'll

kick his ass. No, dude. That nigga been talking about calling my show for the last month and

he never calls in. You know what? Let me just tell you about Saigon. First of all,

there's a reason he doesn't call in and there's a reason he's a faggot no he's he's not bro okay

i'm gonna tell you i know the guy for a while he used to uh he believe it or not he's been

following me around for a few years saigon has um he's he's first of all he's he he's he's got

like a very bad speech impediment where he can't talk and he's missing the left side of his body

so from like he's missing his left leg his left ball his left testicle exactly fuck that um he's

missing his left tit he makes half of his dick he's missing his left his left man titty and um

you know you know brain it's it's a pretty much if you saw him it's a pretty horrible scary sight

i mean you'd probably rather you know have sex with fucking beetlejuice who's calling who's

was calling? I don't know, Abe Froman. Put him on. I heard the beep. No, that was Kim's

computer. Whatever. Kim's computer now. What's Kim doing? Kim, what are you doing? She's

looking for other reasons to cheat on you, dude. Fuck that bitch. She's checking her

email. Drop her like a rock. Drop all them bitches like a rock. Whatever she's doing,

she's up to no good. No woman, no woman is doing anything good at 3.20 in the morning.

Let me tell you what, if your woman is out at 3 o'clock in the morning, she's up to no

no good. You agree with me, Lego?

I 100%. If your

bitch is not at home in your bed

sucking your cock or

riding your cock

at 3 o'clock in the morning,

she's fucking some fucking Jamaican

ass fucking black dude

and some fucking nasty ass hud home

like KDK where he lives at.

Ain't no woman out in the street

at 3 o'clock in the morning up to no good.

My ass. My ass.

You know, dude. My woman is at

She's at my house by 1 a.m. If she's not home at 1 a.m., it's over.

Hold on a minute. I got to play a song, all right?

You do that.

Captain Lego.

I'm going to play a little fucking live concert for you.

Hey, everybody. Lego the musician is going to play a song.

All right. This is...

Sucker motherfucking Lego.

Can I hear you?

Can you hear this?

Oh, yeah. I hear it.

Okay, now I'm in tune.

Yo, sing some shit about Kim.

Okay, here we go.

Hurry up.

Ready?

Taking too long.

Here we go.

Cena.

Hey.

Why you sucking cock in Amsterdam?

Oh, shit!

Athena, why you suckin' cock in Amsterdam?

It's over, bitch!

You're such a whore, such a whore on Carlitos.

Athena, suckin' cock in Amsterdam.

Such a whore, but then again, you're all fuckin' whores.

And it's bros before hoes, that's what I fuckin' say.

Thank you very much.

That's my song of the night.

Cheated on me.

Hey, do you know that that's, you know what song that is, right?

That's Athena's a whore.

No, but there's a song by The Who called Athena.

No, there's not.

Yeah, yeah.

Is there really?

Yeah, and that's the song.

It goes, Athena, just like that.

You know this one time I got so mad at Athena, I broke a bottle over her head?

Blood everywhere?

Everywhere, dude, and then I, it was good lubrication.

Yeah, it works, it works, it works good for the ass.

Dude, hey, best sex ever had was after breaking the bottle over my woman's head.

Yeah, because then she's fucking just, like, laying there incoherent.

You can fuck her in the ass without complaining.

What does Milkman want?

Go ahead, Milkman.

Hang on, Lego, I'll interpret here.

A good soldier is not afraid to fight on a bloody field.

That's what Milkman says.

A good soldier is not afraid to fight on a bloody field.

Lego, would you have sex?

Here's my dilemma right now.

Would you have a problem fucking Kim when she's on her period?

Depends.

A, how horny am I?

B, what part of her period she's on.

If it's like the first day or the last day, probably not.

But if it's like the second or third day, you know, you stick your cock in and blood just squirts out everywhere.

Oh, God.

Dammit, dammit, dammit.

What's wrong with the last day, though?

The last day is like...

You know what the worst thing is, Carl, you?

I don't know if you've ever experienced this, but...

I don't do that shit.

It's when a chick forgets when she's having a period, and she fucking, you know, and you're

laying down, and you know when they fucking get on top of your cock, and they mount you,

right?

And all of a sudden, you feel this, like, warm substance dripping down your balls, right?

And you go to fucking reach down, and like, say, what's that on my balls, and you see

your hand is all bloody with fucking period blood on it.

It's all matted.

That ain't no pussy juice

Now here's my question

If she told you to lick your fingers, would you?

Mm-mm

What if she said prove your love to me?

What if she said wipe it all over my face?

I'll wipe it on her face

I ain't gonna wipe it on my face, fuck that

Give her a red Sanchez

True story

Fuck that bitch, first of all

No offense, but you need to take control

You should go for that punch in the face, number one

Number two, two weeks before

Before I was sent out to Afghanistan, my supposed woman at the time had me go down on her when she was on her period.

You know what I did to her?

I took her and I put my gun in her mouth.

I almost fucking killed her when I found out that I got my red wings.

Do you have your red wings, man?

Do you know what I mean?

No, no.

I mean, look.

Oh, I got mine a long time ago.

I wouldn't mind if the chicks got a period.

I wouldn't mind going down and, like, licking her clit or something.

No, but I but I wouldn't stick my fucking tongue between the lips. You know what I mean?

This bitch and you this bitch and you that she was on it and dude, you know, it's fucked up

I don't know if you really realize that the whole deal about a girl's period but that's like a month old blood that's been

Yeah, man, it just all of a sudden fucking comes out

It's fucking stinks. It's enough some nasty shit

They're all like, oh, it sheds the shell and the fucking uterus and shit.

It's like, fuck you, bitch.

Yeah, it's like a layer of fucking skin.

Let me just, you know, it comes out in clunks.

That's nasty.

Let me tell you, man.

But you know what?

I got to tell you this.

I respect a woman that she has to go through that shit every month.

You know, that ain't easy.

I don't give a fuck.

I couldn't deal with that.

Too fucking bad is what I say.

Yeah, but I'm saying I don't know if I could deal with, like, bleeding like that on a daily basis.

I'll make her bleed out of her mouth.

That's all I'm saying.

Now, what do you feel, like, how's your girl, man?

Like, did she fucking hurt you with her teeth, or she's got that under control?

No, dude, here's the thing.

Did she deep throat you?

Did she take the whole thing down?

No, she's really talented at that, to be honest with you.

All right.

She does a very good job of handling.

Fuck you.

She can peel a banana with her lips.

Fuck you, thunderstorm.

Anyway.

What did thunderstorm do to you?

The fucking thunderstorm.

The fucking bullshit weather.

Anyway, no, she does a really good job of handling the business.

You know what I mean?

All right.

How do you?

How's Kim do? I bet you Kim is a pro.

Oh, dude, Kim is...

Every guy that Kim's ever, like, gone down on fucking, like, says she's the best.

You're a lucky man, Lego. I'll tell you what.

I could sell that shit for a lot of money.

And you're in a band. How's that for...

And how's that go?

Dude, I'm only kidding about you like that.

No, she's a nice girl. I'm sure she's a nice girl.

I know she hates me.

No, dude.

She told me, I hate you.

You don't hate anybody.

We were talking the other night, and she was like, I hate you.

Well, that could be because you were, like, you know, pulling a hash.

You don't like that.

Well, I was fucking her.

Were you pulling her hair?

No, she don't like that.

It hurts so good.

I'm sorry.

I'm looking at my sister.

It hurts so good.

All right, well, listen.

You know, it's 3.30 in the fucking morning, bro.

What, you got something to do?

You got to go to church tomorrow?

Actually, I do.

You do that, then.

All right.

Actually, I fucking do.

You got a problem?

Go ahead and go, then.

All right.

Go ahead and go, then, boss.

Is there anybody even listening to our show?

There's 36 people listening.

All right, God bless them.

God bless them, fuckers.

I'm staying up fucking late, and I got shit to do tomorrow for 56 motherfuckers.

So do I.

Hey, man, thank you very much for calling in.

I'm fucked up off my ass, but it's an honor to talk to Dr. Lego, whatever your real name is.

Pete.

Peter North.

Pete North.

Peter North.

Look, man, says you're Pete North.

Kim wishes I was Peter North.

All right, listen.

What's it like to be a Jew?

Well...

In New York.

You get to eat, you get fucking presents for eight nights in a row.

Fuck that.

During the holiday.

Every night you get a present, dude.

You get a bunch of socks.

No, dude, we get good shit, okay?

You get some gay-ass presents.

You know what?

Yeah, man, it's like you fucking Muslims, you don't get shit.

Fucking Muslims?

I killed like 20 Muslims when I was in Afghanistan.

Fuck a Muslim, dude.

You owe me.

You owe me a did a thanks for all the Muslims I killed.

Is that right?

Yeah, you do, motherfucker.

Because you know what the Muslims would do to Israel the second...

You know, the second the United States pulls out of the Middle East, Israel's gone.

Yeah.

Don't fuck with me, because you know what I'm talking about.

Yeah.

No, I'm not fucking...

I'm with you, man.

Yeah.

I'm right behind you, man.

I got your back.

You got Syria.

You got Iran.

You got fucking Lebanon.

You know how many people got Israel's number?

Don't even start.

Yeah.

Welcome to America, Lego.

You know how many people want Israel?

How many people want Israel?

You tell me the truth.

Oh, man.

You know what?

Israel ain't going to be easy to get through.

Fuck Israel, too.

Yeah, they're tough.

They're tough.

They're tough because why?

Because why?

Because the United States, right?

They don't fuck around.

They got a lot of F-16s, right?

No, I think that Hitler thing, you know, toughened them up a little.

Yeah, and who did 9-11?

Be honest with me.

Mossad.

Who did 9-11?

Mossad.

Israel.

Israel did.

No, dude.

Don't even go there, dude.

Dude, you guys did it.

Come on.

No, dude.

Uh-huh.

You know.

That ain't like, dude.

You know what you guys did.

That's okay.

Aw, man.

Stay in the dark.

You know what you guys did.

Listen.

Fuck Coke.

Who's Coke?

Is that you?

He's some still-out motherfucking nigger, is all it is.

He says he hates me.

Well, fuck him, then.

You should kick him.

You should ban him.

Yeah, I'm not going to kick him.

You're in charge, Lego.

Yeah, but he's entitled to his opinion.

But that hurts my feeling.

And hate.

You know what?

But hate's a very tough word.

You know what hate means?

You wish death upon a person.

I don't hate nobody.

I don't know about that, but hate's a strong word.

I don't hate nobody.

Leggo, you're my biggest enemy.

I don't hate you.

Dude, you're my biggest enema, and I don't hate you.

I'll enema you out.

I'll clean out all your bowels.

Dude, you could be my high brook colonic.

I will clean out all your bowels.

I will clean out your lower intestine, your upper intestine.

I go all the way up to your stomach, Papi.

Oh, yeah.

You like that, right?

I fucking maybe didn't even get to my pancreas.

I'm like Roto-Rooter on your ass.

Cool.

Yeah.

Don't say shit about Total.

We should come out with a product like that.

We should.

Fuck it.

So, Lego, we're going to Amsterdam this summer, right?

All right, and we're going to leave the girls home,

and we're going to make up for all their slutting around.

We're going to fuck women in the red light district,

and we're going to smoke all the hash we can.

All right.

Fuck it, right?

Yeah.

No, but bring Cam along.

No, fuck him, dude. Listen, come on now.

I would fuck him.

Alright.

What's wrong with Kim?

I can't ride the train now? Is that what the problem is?

Go ahead, ride the train. You and the rest of the world.

Alright, we'll talk.

Listen, Coke is, uh, he's German. He's a Nazi motherfucker.

He's a fucking German kraut bastard.

He's a Nazi motherfucker.

Don't get me started on the fucking kraut Germans, either.

But let me tell you, German women are fucking animals in bed.

Yeah, but they got fucking hairy ass pussies too

And their pussies stink

Yeah

German women's vaginas smell

And I mean, it's like the day after the period

You know that smell you get after the day after the period from a woman?

It's like ricamortis?

Uh-huh

German women 24-7 smell like that

And I'm not kidding

Yeah

You can dush all you want

You can dush that pussy all you want

But a German woman's pussy is gonna smell like the day after the period is over

Yeah, I fucking hate that

Fuck that

On that note, I gotta go, man.

I'm pissed off.

Whatever.

Get out of here, Lego.

All right, well, fuck you all.

All right.

Dude, where's Milkman?

You're a sellout.

He's here.

He's playing his guitar in the background.

You can't hear him, but he can hear you.

You don't even fucking, like, say hello.

He's all upset because he fucked Scott up, man.

What's your problem?

Nothing.

You got a problem?

I ain't got no problem.

It's 3.30 in the morning.

What the fuck am I doing up doing this?

It's 3.33 in the morning, and hang up.

I command you to hang up.

All right, listen.

I'm in charge.

Before I go, I just gotta let you know one thing.

What?

Exactly.

I need you to hang up, motherfucker, bitch.

I'm in charge, you motherfucker.

Who told him to hang up?

Milkman, who told him to hang up?

His wife.

You sell out, Milkman.

I told him to hang up first.

And I'm way too fucked up to be doing a show.

I'm way too fucked up to be in the air.

You're fucking a riot tonight, bro.

I don't give a fuck.

I'm dying.

This is funny.

I don't give a fuck.

You was going off when you was doing that fucking, oh, holy shit.

I was fucking laughing.

I tried to say a couple things to you.

I was crying, dude.

I don't give a fuck.

I don't give a fuck what anybody says tonight.

I'm going to do what I fucking want.

I'm fucked up, and I'm on the air.

And you know what?

KDK, Lego, even fucking Sean Ward,

Joop can say whatever he wants to say.

Zolar, if you even give a shit anymore,

I don't give a fuck.

I'm going to say what I want to say tonight.

Milkman, you got a problem too, Milkman?

Listen here, buddy.

Let's fucking tell everybody what the fuck we think

Hey everybody go fuck yourself

That's what I said

What are all those guys over

What is it shit city or hit city or hit parade

Hit faggots

They're not broadcasting us tonight

Whatever those faggots say

Hey here's what I say

We got 33 listeners

And guess how many people

Hit city has

13 motherfucker

Who's winning that war

hang on hang on hang on how many people listen to this who killed blackout who killed blackout

milkman who did it buried who who buried that fact healed the delivery who buried that faggot

ass south florida motherfucking jew who did it was it carlito carlito and then you had turd

burger do the embalming exactly who wiped them off the face of the earth carlito did right

Fuck Blackout.

I'm sorry.

Hang on.

I'm sorry.

Blackout probably doesn't even have a place to live right now,

let alone have a place to broadcast.

Motherfucker hasn't even been on the air for like fucking three months now.

All right.

Fuck Blackout.

I buried Blackout.

And I should have Friday night, motherfucker, right?

Who should have Friday nights on?

Dr. Lego?

Come on, man.

Dr. Lego's in the game?

I think we should have it.

You're going to tell me Dr. Lego's going to have a Friday night show

Just because Zola goes away

Just because he does what he does

Dr. Lego's going to get a Friday night show

I'm not going to get the Friday night show apparently

Is that how it is?

Well you know the plus about it

The plus about the whole thing is

If Dr. Lego is really going to take over Fridays

We're probably going to be doing about 3 or 4 Fridays out of every 2 months anyway

Because he don't show up for about a month or 2 when he takes a break

I don't give a fuck, I ain't doing it

I'll stay on Thursday nights

Either you give me Friday nights permanently

Until Zora comes back

Or I'm gonna keep doing

Fuck that shit, man

What, Lego's gonna have a fucking

His fucking band's gonna come up

Or we're gonna do a gig in the

In the rodeo

In the rodeo chorale band

For our band

It's gonna be on Friday

I can't be on

What are you people gonna do?

What are you motherfuckers gonna do

on a Friday night when there's no Zohar

and there's no Dr. Lego?

What are you going to do?

You're going to listen to the rotation all night?

There's going to be a lot of hand relief.

Yeah, they're going to beg for Carl Leder to come in there.

You know what?

Fuck it.

You know why?

Because Lego wants a Friday night show.

Congrats.

As we speak, Dr. Lego got kicked out of the fucking room.

Dr. Lego got kicked out of the fucking room for spamming

because he's talking about my girlfriend.

Whatever, man.

Fucking Lego.

Whatever.

He's a great guy.

Come on back, damn it.

All power to him if he wants to do the Friday Night Show.

I'm sure he'll do fine.

Well, anyway, I want to say thank you to the 38 people listening to us right now.

We have 35 people listening on PCU's normal website, the normal stream for PU.

We also have three extra people listening on the Scab Network, as KDK calls it, because he hates me because he's a vindictive bastard.

uh 38 people totally listening k scab whatever kdk wants to hate let him hate yes kb uh the phone

call's not coming across bro don't bring up your phone audio man come on now wiggle your mic cord

way low man switch phones hello bro yo eddie turn up your microphone i know i i fucked up the phone

i think i broke another phone oh there you are eddie damn it eddie man you're freaking me out

Oh, man.

I'm going to move in my little boat.

I had Lego on the phone.

He was calling his Leroy.

I think I broke another phone.

I'm really going to pick it up.

Get the other one out, man.

You got one more left to do.

No, I know what happened.

The phone battery died.

We'll call Lego back if he's going to talk shit.

In the meantime, I got to take a piss, number one.

Number two, something's going to happen.

I got to get the other phone real quick because I didn't charge the phone up

because I'm a stupid motherfucker.

So hang on, everybody.

body we're gonna follow this it's chloe's fault it's my fault motherfucker you're another one too

no man you look at him i don't punch you in the mouth

i told you i didn't remember to put that thing on the hook it's been a long time since i've been

this fuck up anyway let me uh play this uh i'm gonna play something you're doing good man you're

on a roll tonight but you're not like you're not gone oh god i gotta take a piss like you don't

want to know milkman you want to do some news you're ready for news and shit or like what the

fuck uh well you caught me quick man you like give me like 10 seconds notice here let me bring up my

news feed here we're dialing in the api network as we speak whatever whatever all right well

we're gonna play some music real quick i'm gonna go get the other phone i'm gonna play a song that

was sent in to us um by my good homeboy what's his name what's what's the black guy that hangs

is out of here, California.

California just sent us a

song to play. California? Yeah.

God damn it, I got to pee like you don't want to know.

California sent me a song here for us

to play tonight. Okay, I got the news feed

coming up now, man. Oh, you do?

Alright, well, we'll do that later.

Hang on, let me play this song

from California

real quick. Alright. I can't find

it anyway, never mind.

Never mind. Milkman, get ready for your news.

Give me a second, get ready for news. I'm going to get the other

the phone gets it up here okay all right i'll be right back hang on everybody i'll be right back

in a second for you anyway milkman cat's trying to run away hey milkman talk motherfucker all in

the show where is he so hey yeah everybody you're listening to the show this is uh pcu radio for

what it's worth this is uh a special edition of the madhouse and uh people in the chat room

big fucking whoop anyway uh dr dre in the chat room is asking if i fought in iraq no that isn't

correct i never made it to iraq i made it to afghanistan and i killed a chance of sand niggers

and i kill a chance more if i could but unfortunately i didn't get to do that oh

jeez come here anyway um let me see if i can fix the phone here um dr dre says his uncle lives in

baghdad the fuck we want to do that and my cat's gonna say hello hey this is like kdk show say

Say something, bitch.

Meekay.

Yeah, Meekay.

I'm Milkman.

I named my cat after a Japanese name.

Meh.

Where you at?

Meh.

Whatever.

Because Milkman thinks he's in charge.

I'll kick Milkman's ass if he was here.

Right now.

I'll punch him in the face.

I'll punch him in his fucking black face.

It's about time to end the show.

Because I'm really fucked up.

To be honest with you all.

But I thank you all for listening so late.

It's like almost 4 o'clock.

But I'm tired.

like a motherfucker i'm really really messed up right now i would like to thank dr lego and juve

for calling in and i would like to thank lonesome loser for staying up so late and contributing uh

numbers to call eastern you know i should call one more number if any of y'all care i'm gonna

prank call one more establishment here what are you doing milkman i killed a cat you killed your

your cat i ran out i backed up and put it in reverse and and the cat got underneath the back

of my rattle scooter wheel good i got a hell of a news article man you ready for this mental

patient charged by feds after threatening to cut off bush's penis huh penis just in tell us 11 06

p.m okay so somebody threatened to cut george w bush's penis yep okay news after this call

This prank call?

Hello, how you doing?

Hey, thanks.

Excellent.

What time is it?

Are you guys still seating people?

Then what are you answering the phone for?

In case of what?

Come on, come on.

You can seat me.

I'm on my way right now.

You can hook me up, right?

Look, look.

Don't give me any shit, all right?

Is there a man that I can talk to there?

Hello.

I just want a plate of hobo skeddy.

Man, I'm seriously tired of women.

Ah, see, what good ever came out of a woman?

You.

Other than that.

Me.

What are you eating?

Please enter the number you wish to call.

Eating cereal over there?

No, man, this is good shit.

It's hobo scatty.

We should call Dale Slaughter.

But we do have a beautiful news headline, man.

Just hot off the press.

So whenever you're ready.

In a second.

Who's that in a second?

Before we hang off here.

Hawaiian faggots.

Up all night.

Bunch of bitches.

Time is in Hawaii right now.

8.49?

No, 11.

10.30?

The person you are calling

Is not answering

Fuck them up their asses

Right Milkman

That's right

Eat some poi

Isn't that rotten root

Isn't that some kind of root they rot

Or they make it all sour

It's like a grey freaking mush

Scraped off of a root man

And I heard it tastes like

Worse than a nasty ass

Whatever if they like it those faggots

Anyway you ready for breaking news

from milkman here everybody yeah man go ahead hit it madhouse news just in off the press right here

in madhouse news that's right you heard it here first mental patient charged by feds after

threatening to cut off bush's penis headlines released 11 6 p.m now to the story a patient at

the alton mental health center has been charged with threatening president george w bush arafat

That Nijma, a Palestinian who lives in Belleville, has been temporarily committed to the mental health center when he made the threat on March 18th.

Two psychiatric technicians called the Secret Service.

Nimja told federal agents the next day that, in quote, to cut off his appendage will fill it in.

It's not too harsh considering what he has done to my country, according to the indictment.

After the agents began reading Nijma his rights, Nijma claimed it was just a joke.

Mental patient charged by feds after threatening to cut off Bush's penis.

You heard here tonight, Madhouse News.

Back to you, Carlito.

Yeah, man.

Let's cut off the commander-in-chief's penis.

That'll show him.

And we want to shave Cheney's nads.

That'll make it all right.

Anyway.

Sure, nads.

I'm going to go, Milk Bandits.

I'm way too messed up.

It's way too late.

You're in the perfect condition to make some calls, man.

I'm in the perfect condition to go to sleep with my dick in my hand while I try to masturbate.

Let's fuck up somebody's night, man.

Then you go spanky the manky.

Spanky the manky.

They tell me that Hawaii doesn't have daylight savings, so apparently it's only 948 over there.

Well, Lonesome Loser by now is sleeping, I'm sure.

I mean, this has been so late.

He hasn't sent me a number in like a...

Dude, he always sends in a backlog of numbers.

Yeah, I know, but it's late, dude.

Hey, wait a minute.

My Australian connection just checked in.

Let me get a number.

I don't have Australian access, man.

I can't do it.

I thought you had an international card.

I don't.

I gotta go.

Take care, Negro.

I can't.

We'll be back on Thursday.

Thursday, if you like it, then fucking suck my dick on Thursday, everybody.

No, wait a minute.

We're going to be on Friday.

Friday?

So don't even try and mess with us.

Whatever.

That bitch Lego took it.

I was going to put him in the air now.

Lego, he's a freaking liar.

He's going to come back and kick everybody's ass.

You want to see how many bitches are really with him and how many already sucked dick and started turning on his back.

Whatever.

You guys want to talk to him, that bastard, that traitor?

I'll put him on the phone.

Your mic is low, dude, but I've got a his-and-hers supermarket, right?

Australia.

Wow.

Okay, hang on.

Skippy's Supermarket.

Mike Hunt's.

For finished recording, press pound to cancel, press star.

Hey, motherfucker.

You gonna call me this time of night?

I'm gonna call you back if you don't like it.

Hey, Milkman, why don't you say what you wanted to say?

All right, listen here, man.

Tonight was your night.

night so now you've got your shot so uh zolar move over man we're coming in on friday it ain't

gonna happen it ain't gonna happen i try to whatever you can be as positive as you want but

that shit ain't gonna happen oh man all these lamers in here in the chat have already knifed

zolar in the back geez what a shame so hey everybody thanks for listening and catch us on

on thursday or something like that we'll be back on right yeah um i need to get some sleep we are

definitely going to have an improved version of the madhouse for you man this wonderful surprise

edition tonight i'd like to give my thanks and all i can thank you the big old madman who provides

us this wonderful boxing tag team wrestling match of a room here right here on lazy net servers man

man. You can't beat it, man. Punch somebody in the face, go home laughing, man. Dr. Lego,

our voice, man, our wonderful man that provides the stream right here, keeps us all laughing

and running everything around here and telling everybody what the hell they're allowed to do,

man. We love you, Dr. Lego. Thanks a lot, boss, for giving us this wonderful stream.

And my God, Katie Kay, our wonderful benevolent benefactors, the PhD at PCU,

otherwise known as the cerebral of the prank legendary prankster katie k thank you so much

for believing in us and giving this opportunity to fuck with everybody's head thanks a lot katie

we love you and carlito in the madhouse andy the lamer who can't even show up every night we love

you guys thanks a lot man you are my bros and you guys keep me laughing and i'm always glad to be a

a part of the Madhouse, all you crazy knuckleheads out there at PCU, this is what it's all about.

Because if it wasn't for you jokers out there, we wouldn't be here, man.

We pay to come in there and fuck with you guys, and we love all of you at PCU.

Thanks a lot for tuning in and stopping in the chat, cussing somebody out, and all you

losers over there at Hollywood Hits or whatever the hell.

take your 13 listeners

and shove them up your ass

vaccine Carlito

well thank you for all 36

of you who are listening at 4am

I appreciate it thank you very much

and thank you for everybody

in the chat room thank you to Jupe

for calling in at the beginning of the show

thank you for Dr. Lego for entertaining

us for so long so late

and thank you to Lonesome

Loser for hooking us up

with numbers so late

to call in also um it's been great it's been a great experience uh kdk i'll kick your ass

dr lego i'll kick your ass zor i'll kick your ass um anybody in the mouth anybody out there

who wants to get punched in the mouth and kicked in the ass i'll do it um milkman i'll fuck you

up juke i'll kill you don't threaten to cut off george bush's penis i won't do that but i'll tell

I'll tell you what, Ted from P-U-N-I-N, suck my dick.

Everybody out there who has got a problem with me, you can kiss my ass.

I'll drink what I want.

I'll smoke what I want when I want.

If you motherfuckers don't like it, too fucking bad.

If I say I want to leave at 4 o'clock in the morning, too fucking bad too.

Fuck in the chat room, I say fuck poop.

Fuck bobo bot.

Fuck googly moogly.

Fuck venison.

You went the way of the unit.

Fuck Little Evil Neo, you bitch.

Fuck Madman, you son of a bitch.

Oh, I love Neo.

I'll slit Madman's throat.

Dr. Dre, you suck my dick.

That prick.

Hashy, you ain't no better than Hunter, motherfucker.

That's what I gotta say.

Everybody, fuck you.

Saigon, you're a stupid motherfucker, too.

I'll kill you, motherfucker.

I'll kill everybody in the chat room.

Oh, you go to hell.

But listen on Thursday night.

Peace out.

Love you, Lifey, man.

Thanks for tuning in.

I'm just kidding. I love you. I know we're fucking with you. I gotta go masturbate

But it's over already, so what do you call yourself?

Como se llama hey fuck you poop you son of a bitch and I'm out and fuck all you motherfuckers

But I like you eat. I like you earth dog y'all son bitch

Calls (8, 35 min of 1 h 52 min)

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