2006-04-20 Show (part 1)

You listen to Madhouse Radio with Carlito, Minimon, and I'm Psychic Andy, Smorgaslyft, and Rastafari.

Today is Thursday.

God too.

God?

Which one?

He thinks he's huge.

Not bad, but oh, perhaps not.

When he decides to announce his identity, the Lord sees mad, they'll knock him out.

We're at the Republic!

public. My friend, this could be the best thing that ever happened. Those who believe life here

began out there are across the universe. Tribes of humans who may have been the forefathers of

the Egyptians, the Baltics, or the Mayans. They may have been the architects of the great pyramids.

Lost civilizations of Lemuria or Atlantis. Some believe that there may yet be brothers of man

who even now fight to survive somewhere beyond the heavens.

There will be no order, only chaos.

That being said, grab a blunt, take a big hit, sit back, and enjoy the ride.

Following is an exclusive of PCU Radio and MadhouseLive.com.

Flight controllers, come up.

Give me a go, no go for launch.

Booster.

Retro.

Go.

Vital.

Go fly.

Guidance.

Guidance go.

Surgeon.

Go blind.

Just go.

We're GoFlight.

GNC.

We're Go.

Telmu.

Go.

Control.

GoFlight.

Procedures.

Go.

Inco.

Go.

FAO.

We are Go.

Network.

Go.

Recovery.

Go.

Capcom.

We're GoFlight.

Launch Control, this is Houston.

We are Go for Launch.

Detain!

I know drug real from real real.

Chris, I take rants today.

First of all, um.

Give me the room number.

Name I can call you.

Why don't you shut the hell up?

Fuck you!

Fuck you, fucking piece of shit!

But maybe he's only a little crazy, like painters or composers or some of those men in Washington.

You son of a bitch, speak English, America.

You son of a bitch, you motherfucking, you are.

I don't speak Spanish.

I know, you speak English, I see.

You motherfucking, you motherfucking.

I go ahead, man.

Motherfucker, you.

You bitch.

Don't never, don't never fall again to this boy, man.

Mow my lawn.

You're a mother fucker.

Why are you so angry?

We're supposed to squalor.

Fuck you, man.

We're so angry right now.

We're not wrong.

Smoke weed every day.

The whole ass suck.

You're now listening to Bizarre So Circus.

And I'm your boy, Young Miles of Future.

And my man's about to get it crackin' for y'all.

The new leaguer.

What's your mother fucker?

It's a nigga with a cap.

Kickin' a nasty.

Dirty 50 rap.

I'm Detroit's son of a...

Hey, good evening, everybody.

The music's too loud.

stupid and you're stupid who you turn the microphone down instead of the music i didn't

do it kind of sound engineer you you don't do anything here andy i just come here and drink

you don't even smoke anymore what's up everybody good evening it's 10 14 and we're 15 minutes late

we've been later before right yeah i can barely hear you dude put that yeah you're on low probably

are we there you go all right hey we hear andy hey everybody it's uh april 20th 4 20 welcome to

the madhouse madhouse live on the madhouse radio network that's uh hitcity.com has us on of course

but our flagship station is pcu radio pcu prank call underground radio that is and we're located

at kdk prank calls.com kdk as in kill death kill kdk prank calls.com that's andy's third favorite

website right after um the official website for the cubs yeah and um i don't know where i was

going with that your website yeah my website madhouse live.com it never gets updated and

whenever it gets updated madhouse live.com that was my favorite update uh website last time it

got updated in october in october yeah i liked it then it was like wow look at this i put pranks

on there in february but i haven't put a new show on there since then but soon enough i have uh a

A guy who's been editing stuff for me.

He edited the last show two weeks ago, and he's getting to the one last week.

And I haven't even hooked him up with any props or anything like that.

So I'm sorry, guy, but I'll get that on the website as soon as possible.

We'll have the prior shows caught up at some point.

I'm not going to catch him up, but I'll start putting him on regularly.

You know what I mean?

I'm not going to go back to him.

I don't think you will.

Who cares, really?

Hey, where's the November 13th show, man?

I want to hear it.

November 13th is the worst show in the history of this.

You remember that one?

Yeah, I do.

That was horrible, yeah.

I beat Athena after that show.

I beat her up.

I beat her up with a Nerf bat.

I can't believe you could do that.

With a Nerf bat, I beat her up.

So, yeah, it's April 20th.

Andy, what's April 20th mean to you?

It's the anniversaries of Hitler's birthday, Columbine, and the Oklahoma City bombing.

It's also the birthday of Joey Lawrence.

Yeah, and I think Jesus may have been born on 4-22, maybe.

Jesus was born on 420, dude.

Yeah.

The Easter Bunny was born on 420.

The Easter Bunny.

Dude, you know how freaky the Easter Bunny looks when you go to the mall and I saw this?

I saw the Easter Bunny, like, in the Santa, you know, like, Santa Claus is out there with,

you know how freaky it looks to see the Easter Bunny out there?

No.

I think he looks like a perfectly normal person.

No, a person in an Easter Bunny costume is weird, okay?

Well, I mean, it's a giant white rabbit.

It is.

Because usually they got, like, something gay going on, like a scarf or a kerchief or

something like that.

This guy had a huge Louis Farrakhan-style bow tie.

Really?

Yeah.

One time I saw one that had a Pele Pele jumpsuit on.

Pele Pele jumpsuit.

Yeah, a Pele Pele jumpsuit.

I thought it was gangster.

Yeah, it is.

Was that the black mall?

No.

No, that was the white folk mall.

The white folk mall.

Black people don't really wear Pele Pele jumpsuits.

They just act like it's cool and get white people to buy them.

And get away to get them to pay money for it, yeah.

Remember Cross Colors?

Yeah.

What was that all about?

That was the worst-looking clothing line ever.

nothing but no car can i was the worst remember cargan that was nasty i thought that looked better

in cross colors cross colors was like green and it was like africa colors and like yeah i mean it

was red green and yeah those aren't really good colors if you ask me like i don't want to wear

a shirt that has those three colors on it you can't combine that shit no that's definitely not

you know and if people used to have like red uh jeans to wear with it and that was just you know

red and green jeans yeah i'm glad nobody wears that anymore that was terrible that's when

when everybody

used to wear

the clothes

backwards

like crisscross

and shit

what the hell

was that all

about

oh I'm cool

I wear my

shirt backwards

I always wear

button up shirts

because I'm fat

so I never

got to wear

I couldn't

button my

shirt up

or behind

one time

I asked my

mom to do it

and she slapped

me

really

yeah

well

I'm sorry

then she pushed

me down the

stairs

that's every

Christmas around

the Andy house

I almost

said your last name

um so

Andy are you

ever gonna pick

a nickname for

yourself or is

this gonna be

straight up Andy

Well, I mean, it'd kind of be pointless to switch to it now.

At this point, yeah.

Everybody's like, who's that?

I mean, I've got a lot of different nicknames I've had over the years.

Thundercock.

No, that was your nickname.

I'm proud of that nickname, though.

I don't know why my roommates, my two male roommates, started calling me Thundercock

one day on the phone.

Someone told us that that was your nickname, and then you thought that it meant because

you had a big dick, but actually I heard it's because on your downstroke, you fart.

No.

On the downstroke.

Every time you got the down stroke, you let one go.

I farted during sex once.

It was embarrassing.

But I don't think she heard it, though.

I doubt it.

At that point.

She heard me crying.

That was about it.

Okay.

Yeah, so you're listening to us on kdkprankcalls.com.

It's PC Radio Hit City, which is always, guess what I forgot, Andy?

The homepage for Hit City.

Give me a second here and I'll get it.

It is www.aim-planet.com.

No, here we go.

It's HitCity.

I put a WWD there next to me.

It's HitCity.Aim-Planet.com.

You're listening to us there, featured on iTunes as well as Shoutcast.

HitCity.com, playing your hit music.

DJ Frosty's there, everybody.

DJ Frosty.

Yeah.

Who is this guy again?

We said it was Wayne Brady once, but he has a name.

That's Nelly.

Nelly.

That's not Nelly.

Anyway, so yeah, a shout-out to Austin Moore, host of the Austin Moore Show.

I don't know when he goes on, but a big shout-out to him.

What's up, Kat?

How you doing?

Take this.

Ha-ha-ha.

I hit the cat.

Yeah.

Tina's not listening tonight.

I like that cat.

He ran away.

I'm sorry.

So thank you to everybody listening.

We have a total of 31 listeners on PCU.

We have 19 listeners on HitCity.

We're all-time low.

And we have three listeners on the scab.

So we're up to 22, 50, 50-something.

53.

Well, thank you, everybody, for joining us.

I'm honored that 53 people would listen to us bullshit tonight.

night um it is 4 20 april 20th uh and connotations i guess was that's a big weed day yeah like at

this time last year i was hooked up to a gas mask um so yeah my life's changed a lot yeah i think i

had a gas mask on most of the night and um i probably smoked over 100 bucks of the high grade

chris brown not nelly who the fuck is chris brown he played for the bangles he was a free safety

Okay, so Chris Brown for the Bengals.

He wasn't that good.

I don't know why he's up on Hit City.

Yeah, he can't even tackle.

He does a football show on Hit City.

Oh, okay.

Every Sunday.

Remember we had the guy at our high school who used to be a pro football player,

and he became like a coach.

He was like Coach Black Guy, and he didn't do anything.

He played for the Jets for one day, signed a contract, and got hurt.

I think, I want to say it was like in a preseason game.

Probably before that.

Ended his career right there.

Yeah.

He just drove around with a Lexus

and he didn't even do anything.

He walked with a limp.

I'm Coach Brown.

He had it set up so even at school all he did was ride the golf cart.

He rode the golf cart around and looked for skippers.

I rarely saw him ever.

All the

black and Puerto Rican girls were in love with him.

Coach Brown so far.

He drive a Lexus.

Coach Brown, you look good.

You got a Lexus?

He had that old reddy ass Jets jersey.

He always wore it.

It was like 1980 style.

And then he'd go out to the football practice and just stand there.

And I don't think he ever said anything.

He was one coach that didn't say shit.

I don't know what his purpose was there when I was there.

He was just, like, you know, to give a little respect to the team.

I guess so.

I guess if I haven't been around, was I some kind of icon?

Like, they have me, like, I go to the buffets around here,

have me come and just stand there.

People, you know, they want to come to see me.

Like, look at that, that's Andy.

That's big Andy.

Who he can eat.

He ate five pounds of potatoes.

Damn, man.

So, Sunday, Easter Sunday, you ate a lot of potatoes.

Between me and my brother, we ate three pounds of roasted pork and five pounds of potatoes.

I could do that, though.

I can't do the potatoes.

My brother, he's even larger than I am, so that was mostly him.

Were these mashed potatoes?

Yeah, I mashed them.

It was due to, no, I make everything fresh.

I made, like, it was awesome.

All right.

You keep the skins on those potatoes?

No, I peel them.

You peel them off?

Yeah.

Okay.

I put butter and garlic.

Real butter, margarine?

How's it work?

No, real butter.

Real butter.

Okay.

Good deal.

All right.

If you guys want to reach us the fastest way, if you're using AOL Instant Messenger, write this down.

If you're using AOL Instant Messenger, Madhouse Radio is our nickname or whatever, our screen name.

That's what I meant to say.

If you're using Yahoo, no problem.

Hit us up at Madhouse PCU Radio.

Madhouse PCU Radio.

And if you use an MSN messenger for some weird fucking reason,

you can reach us at madhousepcuradio at hotmail.com.

Once again, Austin Morris telling us that Chris Brown wasn't a coach.

He never was.

I guess he didn't play after.

I mean, he didn't coach after he got hurt.

Probably not.

Anyway.

You know who I think that is?

Wasn't he Eddie on the Urkel show?

Remember the guy Eddie?

Yeah, that dumb guy?

Yeah, he's like, I'm Eddie.

I'm Urkel's best friend.

I'm cool.

Urkel's not.

What was the name of the other guy, the older kid, the guy?

You know what I mean?

No, Eddie.

It was Eddie.

Eddie?

Yeah, I think so.

Oh, what was the game?

Eddie Winslow.

Yeah, okay, but who was the dumb dude?

Remember?

It was Weasel was the short guy.

It was Waldo.

Geraldo, Geraldo, Geraldo.

Geraldo, Waldo, Waynes.

No, it was Waldo, Geraldo, Faldo or something like that.

Dwayne Wayne.

Dwayne Wayne was a different show.

Yeah, I'd like to kick Dwayne Wayne's ass.

Yeah, you could.

You know, there's only 10, it's like, what, 15% of the population

is black, but there's like

about 35% of the shows on television

are for black people.

They don't even watch them either.

I don't get it. And they run the NBA.

They don't run the NBA. They play the NBA.

Well, they don't run it, though.

Isn't that crazy? Are there any black owners

at all in pro sports?

Magic Johnson owned a piece of the team.

And Jordan did for a while.

Magic Johnson owned a team.

I think the Wizards are owned by a black guy.

Alright.

No, Magic Johnson owns the Magic Johnson

Yeah, what's it?

They got the Magic Johnson Theater.

Magic Theater where they have, like, a metal detector when you go in.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, if there's a Magic Johnson Theater, it's a good bet they have metal detectors there.

Yeah, but, yeah, if you ever go to, like, you know, it's just a terrible thing to say.

If you go to a black theater, usually they got, like, all sorts of shit on the screen.

It's like they don't even care.

There's gummy bears on the screen.

Yeah, it's like they don't care.

Like, they know, like, if we clean the gummy bears and the Lifesavers off the screen,

that they're just going to put them right back up there.

True story, the second Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles came out, what, like 91, I'd say?

Yeah, I think so.

I put gummy bears in my mouth, threw it on the screen.

I don't believe that.

I did.

I don't believe that you would waste gummy bears because you're so fat.

They were the orange ones.

I don't like the orange ones.

I picked them out.

I don't like orange gummy bears.

My favorite gummy bear flavor is green.

This is my favorite.

And I would say red, then I'd say yellow, and then orange.

so I took the one I liked the least

and I got them sticky in my mouth

threw them up there

about 8 years later I went there again

and sure enough I got one up to the screen

and they were still up there

they're going to close that movie theater

the one in Orange City

oh the dollar show?

no no no the other one

the United Artists

that one was terrible

that was a terrible one too

there'd be like 12 year old skate punks

and they'd make fun of you

and always that one cop sitting there doing nothing

he should run off the skate park

remember tcby you know some nasty shit i don't know maybe an ice cream yogurt tcby sucks i think

they're out of business i don't even know there's any tcby's out there anyway um if you want to call

us uh the toll-free line will is open now should i give it out yeah yeah whatever you get if you

want to call in the toll-free line is 888-278-8509 again you can reach us here live toll-free tonight

and dial 1-888-278-8509.

That's a free call.

It won't show up in any bills

if you're like 12 years old and scared.

Like most of our calls.

I don't want my mom to see it.

She'll get me in trouble.

It's long distance.

It's not long distance.

It's a free call.

It won't even show up in a bill.

Right, Andy?

I've never called, but I don't think so.

Why have you ever called my show?

Because I'm usually here.

You're usually here.

Yeah, that's true.

When I didn't use to show up all the time,

I was usually doing something fun.

Really?

Something important.

sleeping this is like this is like the fallback thing i think for most of these people listening

except for the dead he's a dork the dead he's not even he's been calling me out all week saying i

called him a retard you called a retard last week you called a retard last week and then friday

sounds like you protested too much i guess so you called me out all week he kept saying

carlito has a loose asshole i don't get it i was sitting there tuesday reading him say this and

And I'm like, man, I wanted to go to sleep, but I wanted to stay in there just to see what he would say.

And he was just saying that I have a loose asshole or something.

You see, the second they give out the trophy line already, they're taking it upon themselves.

Ah, it's a relay call.

Jesus Christ.

It's going to sound like shit, then, huh?

They suck.

Black out, everyone.

Hang on.

Hey, this is IP Relay Operator 9.

Yes, yes, yes, go ahead.

Go ahead, go ahead.

Go ahead, go ahead, and go ahead.

What is the nature of this call, please?

Operators don't have any information on the call.

Holding on the person's response.

Are you an operator?

Oh, no.

It might show up on my bill.

Go ahead.

Please terminate the call, operator.

Go ahead.

Thank you.

IP relay operator 901.

Wait a minute.

Don't hang up.

That's what I wanted to say.

Operator, terminate the call.

Dude, don't fucking call me with a relay,

because then I'm going to fucking turn off the toll-free line, you assholes.

So stop it, all right?

If you want to call, then call on yourself.

Yeah.

Those are more annoying than relay calls.

I mean, it's funny, maybe,

maybe but you understand how long it takes to do that shit it's funny for people who don't know

that it's a joke you know like if you get that call from someone else look you might be somebody

new and i know it's funny the only way it's fun and you record it and then you play it back edit

it out because it honestly takes like two minutes between every conversation and we're just sitting

here like okay you know i mean so we don't want that yeah yeah just call in and we don't hate on

you but whatever man the relay thing has been done and killed trust me by the guy who used to

to go on and against me uh blackout i don't even think he's on right now i don't even have his

numbers up anymore he's insignificant to me i say didn't he die in the hurricane i thought no he's

like a i don't know he lost his house i think he i think his sister ran out on him and owed like

two months rent and stole his checkbook and and used it up so he had to move out i think he's

living like from friend's house to friend's house and stuff yeah he's he's a he was a really

important person at one time at one time blackout was actually on pcu i remember when he went to

Japan for that summit

and he threw up

on the Prime Minister.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's right.

And it wasn't the food.

Wow, the middle daughter

from Family Matters

got into porn?

You know, she disappeared

from the show.

You remember that?

I don't even remember

what she looked like,

but I'd like to see it.

They had this cheeky girl.

Send us a picture.

Earth Dog.

They had this cheeky girl.

Yeah, Earth Dog.

I want to see that.

Anytime someone famous

goes into porn,

I gotta check it out.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, this cheeky

black girl fucking...

She was on there

for like three seasons,

I think,

and then she disappeared

and never came back.

Oh, God.

See, I'm going to have to turn the toll-free line off.

There you go.

You're winning the fun for everybody.

This shit gets out of hand.

I just ended the show, man.

I'm serious.

Don't fuck with me.

Damn you.

All right, so the toll-free line is down because people can't behave,

so we'll just continue the show like this, and we'll talk.

But we've got plenty of prank calls for you folks tonight.

Now that the lines are clear, we don't have to worry about that.

Lonesome Loser in the chat room.

As I mentioned before, yes, we do have a chat room.

You can go there now.

Join us at kdkprankcalls.com.

click on the chat link and you can use your java java client right through your browser

or you can also join us if you're using an irc client standalone like merc or mirc or whatever

it's called or something like that irc.lazy lazy why lazy that uh dash net dot de that's irc.lazy

dash net dot de okay uh speaking of the chat room lonesome losers in there now uh confirming

Confirming numbers, he's the official confirmer of the Madhouse,

and I'd have to say a PCU in general.

He's just as important as any host.

Would you not agree with that, Ian?

What would we do without him?

Probably not.

Lonesome Loser, you know, he helps out a lot.

Anyway, he's sending a number here, it looks like, for Dr. Gene Scott.

Used to be on, used to have a ministry, I guess, begging for money.

He died last year.

He was 75, Lonesome Loser believes, and his wife took over.

she's almost 30 years of and is a former porn actress okay so she was a porn actress and she

became saved or i don't know but you know if if if you're really into god that's as good as coke

for getting girls you know you can just god them up he's like yeah god wants you to let me peel it

back and god wants me to beat it up right now 30 years old and he was 75 that's good i hope to

pull that i think when i get to be about like 55 or something i'm gonna go into that at my own

church. That's some classic Bible stuff.

The church of the dead. I'll have the dead

retarded come out of there and then I'll heal them.

Church of the dead. You are healed.

Now you talk just like me.

You shall support Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ talk just like me.

The Holy Trinity.

He sent us numbers for Erotic

Bakery in Seattle, Washington.

Erotic Bakery.

Excuse me. We also have Erotic City

Topless Club. We have

High Life in San Antonio.

We have Dr. Gene Scott's

ministry which we were talking about before his uh melissa scott is the name of the lady the ex

the wife i guess of the deceased the widow of this minister and she now runs things her

porn name was barbie bridges i don't know who that is i'd like to see a picture

yeah yeah get us some pictures of barbie bridges or something yeah we gotta see what she looked

like uh stupid prices in hawaii okay yo why you so stupid dope yo uh legends of spirit mountain

and Oregon, and

blimpy subs and salads, and

TCBY. How can you go wrong with that?

It's gotta be the worst place to eat in the world.

Yeah, TCBY. What is this?

It's the country's best yogurt.

Yeah, I named it the

This Can't Be Yogurt. Oh, really?

Because it's nasty. That's pretty witty.

It's like some frozen... I stole that from somebody.

But seriously, folks, TCBY is nasty.

I guess they still do exist.

Earth Dog is sending me clips for

Jimmy Foxworth.

That's the chick right there?

I don't want to see her.

We're over here.

New York Pipeline.

Oh, Swerd, that's her?

Wow.

Why is the World Trade Center still up there?

Jamie Foxxworth played Judy.

Oh, that's the chick from The Family Matters.

Yeah, that's what we were talking about.

Oh, I thought you were talking about this other chick.

Well, here you work it, man.

I'm talking to shit.

Jesus Christ.

Oh, yeah, look at that.

Oh, yeah, that is her.

Wow.

She's still cheeky.

Cheeky ass cheeks too

The guy should dress like Urkel

That's it we can't blow him up

That sucks

She goes by the name Crave

She can be seen in Sugar Walls 29

You can't really see her body in this

Copy that real quick

Let me share that with the chat room

Okay so this is

Jamie Foxworth

There you go everybody in the chat room

If you're not in the chat room you miss out

On the porn

TCBY is good says Hashy

He's only had one flavor

It's some nasty shit man

I'd rather I don't know

You know what tastes good I take sugar free pudding

I make it and I freeze it

You ever have ice milk before

Ice milk is good

You use cream instead of milk

It's really good

Chocolate ice milk is like ice cream

Frozen but it's milk and chocolate

They add something else to it

It's like ice cream but more milky

It's really good

If I had it, I'd probably like it, but it doesn't sound good from your description.

You're a big chocolate milk fan, Andy.

Yeah, yeah.

Ain't that silly?

Okay.

Braden's asking why the line's busy, because people keep calling with a relay.

Oh, there we go.

Picture of Barney Bridges.

You guys are on timeout.

Lonesome Loser sent us a picture of Barney Bridges.

It's posted for everybody in the chatroom.

I hadn't seen it yet, and okay.

You'll probably get that one bigger.

I'll try that right there.

All right, Andy, you drive when it comes to porn.

I know you're the expert at that.

I don't need porn myself.

Your computer's like weird

Your computer's nice

See right there

Photo gallery son

You see where it says

Bridges up there

Oh Jesus

There

Go up there

Yeah click that

This is great

There we go

Now we're supposed to

See a bunch of

Different girls

Hey Andy say gallery

Gallery

Damn there's a word

I know you say wrong

I thought it was gallery

Yeah you won't tell me

Look at that

It's like a white girl

That's nice

Wow

Okay

Well Barbie bridges

God wants me to

Beat it up

Yeah I guess so

God wants me

To tear it up

And peel it all back

He was entrusted in a mission to do that.

You got to call her.

We got more pictures of Barbie Bridges.

Here we go.

I like her hair.

That's like the kind of hair I dig, too.

Even though it's a small picture, I can't face it.

Any second now.

Oh, see, you can probably click on those right there.

These people spell erotic with a K.

They must be German.

They're Dutch.

Frecke, bedunge.

There you go.

How do you get to go back, man?

Just click back, man.

Back.

Don't right-click on the picture.

You got to right-click on white space.

Anywhere else.

It doesn't have text or a pic right there

There you go

I like that she got a little fucking

Oh wait

That's not a good looking face

Is that a reason?

That's not a reason, though.

No, that's what early 90s looks like.

She probably...

Now that she's all Christian, she's got her hair cut.

If I lay this right here...

It's probably dark.

She probably doesn't dye her hair anymore.

I like tan lines like that.

I don't know.

That's just me, but...

She's got a lot of bush.

I dig that.

But I think that's like a 10-year-old, maybe 15, 20-year-old picture.

Yeah, that looks like early, early 90s or something like that.

You can tell by the bushes.

Yeah, I don't mind that, though.

That's not too much hair.

I'm saying, like, when you've got those tan lines like that,

when you've got a dark room, you can find your way back.

Like, sometimes I'll just kind of get confused.

You just turn that black light on.

Oh, shit.

No, no, you've got a little bit of light because, like, you know,

I always turn the light off.

I don't want anyone to see me, but there'll be just enough light

so I can see that pale skin.

It's like runway light.

It's like a road map to the alien.

Pretty much.

It's an arrow pointing down.

There you go.

Very good interpretation.

I like when the titties are two different shades.

They are two different shades.

It looks exotic.

I don't know.

I don't like it.

Because I imagine that they're clothes,

and it's like a painted-on bra.

I don't know.

It makes me feel like that's sexy for some reason.

That's weird.

You really like that?

I don't know why, but yeah.

I like the tattoo on the small of the back.

No, that's terrible.

That's a whore tattoo.

No, not only whores get that, though.

A lot of...

No, whores.

Athena got the worst tattoo.

Oh, really?

While she was gone.

On her right shoulder blade.

Was it a...

It's the planet Earth with a fairy flying around.

I heard it was a tattoo of the black cock that was reaming.

No, it wasn't.

There's no such thing.

No such thing.

Oh, Mandingo.

She would never fuck a nigga.

I mean, she would never do that.

She has Mandingo tattooed on her.

No, she doesn't.

It says Mandingo was there.

Kiss the ass.

Okay, people begging for the

Tour for Atlanta to open

I'll open it up later

Make a call first

We're talking, alright?

You haven't made a call yet

Everybody revolts

Exactly

Hey, Dan, why you suck so much?

Info about Darjeeling

We should call that next, I suppose

I want to look at more pictures of this girl

Alright

Well, shit, you can go back to it

It's right here

See this tab right here?

Cool

There you go

Knock yourself out

Up inside the cooch

Doesn't look like any

Oh, maybe that's one

No

So, anyway

While Andy does that

It's 4-20, April 20th

this mean i guess is a big weed uh aka marijuana smoking day um but of course i don't understand

the connotations no one really has an answer why 420 is 420 is the police uh code for uh marijuana

possession i heard that's not correct that is correct i don't know and then also jesus is born

on 420 so you smoke pot jesus is not born on 420 he was born in august i think andy dick was born

andy dick that faggot he's a funny he's bi so what's wrong with that my kdk is too yeah see

what are you gonna i didn't say nothing i didn't say nothing like that i like i think it's better

to have gay guys than bi guys there's more chicks for us okay yeah so anti-drug anti-drug uh this is

the guy who's been editing my prior shows he says carlito you should do you should do you should

call. People want to ask them shit

about porn, like if they watch it

how often, etc. That could be funny.

Andy, your thoughts? Yeah, well

I don't think people are going to answer you.

I know. They'll be like, I'm not going to talk to you.

People don't talk about their porn, man.

If he wants to call

and ask me, I'll tell him.

Brain is saying, put it back on

nigga. Alright. Right now, I'm a big

Tara Patrick fan.

She was on Stern the other day. I hate when he has

porno girls on because it's not that good.

Yeah, because how are you going to

You know what I mean?

If they had a webcam.

They'd sit on the civvy and go,

and then you're like,

all right, I can hear him moan.

I got like 50 videos out of my hard drive.

Exactly.

Oh, you got the videos too?

Because you don't have them on demand and shit?

Well, yeah, I do have them on demand.

But, you know, even that, that's not bad.

You already got big, though.

Yeah, he did get really fat.

He looks fatter than everyone.

I was talking to Saigon about that last night.

See, look, everybody's got that little 420 hip-hop.

Yeah, here's the first one.

I heard that Lord Spoon in the chairman says

He says he heard that 420 is not a police code dealing with possession.

I don't think all police codes are the same in every city.

I believe they are, but it's never been a police code.

That's a fact.

I think it is.

That's true.

Let me try to pull it up, man.

Hang on.

I saw the...

Wait, there's another picture of Jamie Foxxworth in there.

Jamie Foxxworth is back.

I think that's the one we're seeing now.

Really?

No, it's not, actually.

That's a different one.

Hang on.

All right.

Are you typing in police codes?

I'm trying to get the Wikipedia.

I think I typed it wrong.

All right, dude.

I got it right.

So, then what is the official reason why that's...

420 is a stoner holiday.

I'll list off the reasons in a second, but I believe

the correct reason is

this group of people out in Berkeley

used to meet at 420 p.m. after

classes. That was the time that they would

make it there by at a certain spot at Berkeley

and that's when they would smoke up and they just called

it their code for it was 420

and say, hey, we're going to 420 today.

And they'd be like, yeah, we're going to 420 today. That means we're going to meet

at 420 at the spot. I know

311 is a police code for rich white

boy rank game music. It sucks ass.

You're a fucking punk

311's the worst band ever

Isn't it Indies in Disposure?

Isn't that what it's supposed to be or something?

No, it's a police code for faggot reggae singers

Who think they're cool, but they're not

What was the cat doing?

She just jumped up there and I clawed the fuck out of her

She doesn't have any claws, she's so fucking retarded

Anyway, a group of guys

Waldos, whatever that means

In the 1970s made 420 the official meaning

Time to smoke marijuana after school

There it is, I'm telling you

That guy doesn't know shit

Yeah, that's demented, man.

What does he know?

He knows all about weed.

Look it up on there.

Okay, we're looking it up right now.

Oh, the Jin Dynasties.

He's probably like when the emperor smoked pot.

The end of the Jin Dynasty in China was 420.

Yeah, maybe that's why.

Yeah, it's also the beginning.

No, this is the end of the Jin Dynasty.

We were going to smoke our pot when the Jin Dynasty was over.

Faramond leaves the France at the cost of the rent.

Yeah, okay.

All right, there you go.

Beginning of the Southern Dynasties in China means the end of the Jin Dynasty.

These are all reasons I would smoke weed.

birth of jarrah

not cause some fucking hippie smoked weed on 420

yo there was a western roman emperor named

glycerus

glycerus is the shit right there

that's a great name right there

my name is Leroy Glycerus

that would be my black name

and glycerus he burns shit like glycerine

so he was probably

that's 420 right there maybe

and there's also the death of

Orocius a Spanish historian and theologian

Yazdegerd I

No, you see, you gotta put, like, the little parentheses in between the 4 and 20.

No, I got it right here, watch.

It's significance...

Fucking shit.

It has significance within a drug culture.

Okay, 420 cannabis culture.

We're getting to it here, any second now.

Yeah, we believe Wikipedia over here or whatever you got there.

Wikipedia is slow as shit.

Anyway, so Saigon is calling people fags for some reason.

I don't put that above them.

Anyway.

Whoa.

Any second now that I look...

God, this shit is slow.

Anyway.

Oh, the Indian Penal Code.

For what?

For tricking someone.

Oh, there it is.

Okay.

Alright.

A Bangladeshi, Indian, or Pakistani ethnic slur.

A person acting fraudulently to cheat someone out of their belongings.

A confidence trickster from section 420 of the penal code.

Whatever.

Alright.

Okay.

I'll put it right there.

Okay.

The exact origin of the term is unknown.

See?

Everybody looks like they fucking know shit.

Yeah.

In American culture, number 420 relates to the consumption of cannabis, weed, and elements

of its associated culture marijuana users gather on april 20th every year to celebrate and consume

marijuana okay so the accepted origin according to snopes.com and high times magazine the marijuana

logs and the straight dope claim that in the early 70s a group of teenagers at san rafael high school

in san rafael california used to meet every day after school at 4 20 p.m to smoke marijuana at

at the Water Tower.

Okay, this is a refuted urban legend

that says that that's a drug bust.

That's refuted.

Okay.

And so cares.

Marijuana grew wild on or near Highway 420 in Ontario,

they say also.

Those are plausible, they say.

Grow up, you fucking potheads.

An ounce of marijuana going for $300

sold gram by gram at $15,

which equals $420.

If I quit smoking, you can't do it.

That's my mom.

That's unanswered.

I don't want to talk about that.

Hit off on that shit.

I'm not doing that.

Just hit off.

There you go.

All right.

Why are they going to be bothering me?

I was just over there.

Fuck.

Why did you drive him safely?

Okay.

That's not funny.

That's how she talks.

She cries whenever she talks.

That was once.

And that's refuted.

That's disputed.

No, I heard that.

That's disputed.

It was our outgoing answer.

That was not my mom's voice.

For like two months.

You assholes used to go around with a tape of my mom crying.

I told her I was going to go over to her house at 9 p.m.

And I showed up like at midnight.

I took a long way.

And she called crying and left the message on the answering machine.

No, no, because it was like, she's like, I haven't heard from you in two days.

No, no, no.

I haven't talked to my mom in like three months.

You get two days.

She was not like that, man.

What do you mean?

She's still like that.

She calls you an hour after you left her house.

Two hours.

I don't know.

She just wants to make sure I'm in it okay.

I want to say you have a good night and I didn't let the big bugs bite.

All right, enough about my mom.

I should call people and just cry.

That'd be a good grandpa call.

You'd cry like your mom.

All right.

Anyway, refuted urban legend is 420 degrees Fahrenheit is the temperature at which marijuana burns.

The primary method of use.

In reality, it burns at over 450 degrees, so there it is.

Another refuted urban legend is that it is police code for a drug bust or marijuana smoking in progress.

Or that 420 is or was the shift change for the police.

However, there is no 420 police code.

And this one is bullshit.

There's 420 chemicals in marijuana.

There's actually only 315.

Anyway, so we can keep doing this.

April 20th was the date of Bob Marley's death.

That's incorrect.

He actually died on May 11th, 1981.

What did that dumbass die of anyway?

Not dumbass.

Who, Bob Marley?

He had cancer.

Then he stubbed his toe on it.

He got cancer from it or something.

No.

Why?

I know one thing is he left the world with a bunch of stupid children and made shitty music.

Yeah.

But then any white guy who's got a Bob Marley poster on your wall, that doesn't make you cool.

No, it doesn't.

I hate when I see, I go into some kid's house and they got a poster of Bob Marley.

Bob Marley smoked pot.

Yeah.

Yeah, but Bob Marley, that's some of the worst music around, too.

That fucking reggae shit is just really bad.

We play Bob Marley every show.

Yeah, it sucks.

The first song on the show is Bob Marley.

Should they get rid of it?

Yeah.

We should play just MF Doom all night?

No, I mean just something like Bob Marley.

No, yeah.

It's the most simplistic music ever.

They just slow it down.

They sing in their fucking native accent.

I suppose so.

Man, we've really been bullshitting for a long time, haven't we?

Yeah, you're supposed to make a call.

Everybody's going to be gone.

Whatever.

Let's see how long people can go.

Yo, TCBY Yogurt, Pretzel Maker, Mrs. Field Cookies, all in one, I guess,

at the Hawaii Kai Shopping Center in Honolulu, Hawaii.

You want to call this bitch porno bitch here before it gets too late?

Yeah, you should probably call her.

Magic Matt asks if I like the Boston Red Sox.

Andy hates the Boston Red Sox.

I don't hate the Red Sox.

Oh, you don't?

You like them?

I hate the Yankees and Mets and the Cardinals most of all.

Cardinals are assholes.

St. Louis Cardinals are assholes, yeah.

The Cardinals are fags.

Yeah.

Yeah, I heard they're going out of business.

And then Derrick Lee got hurt, so the Cubs season's over.

Oh, my God, really?

Yeah.

Wow.

You see, I have some hesitation cut marks on my wrist today.

You cut yourself today.

Derrick Lee's not playing.

It's over, man.

Magic didn't make the playoffs.

Yeah, but that was just great that they got close.

They did a pretty impressive push, though, man.

I'm telling you, they won eight straight against some tough teams.

And then they lost two straight.

And then they lost two straight, yeah.

They lost last night and the night before.

They lost to the Bulls.

I'm going to look at more pictures of Barbie Bridges.

All right, you do that.

I'll keep talking here.

Where's it at?

Is it over here?

It's over here now.

You can move it over there if you want to see it.

It's one...

No, there.

One of these here.

That's it, Scott.

There you go.

Hey, what's up, girl?

All right.

She's got her ass in that picture.

So, yeah, we're...

These are very, like, for a porno chick, these are very softcore.

You think so?

I look...

It looks like Playboy's, but it may be Hustler.

Yeah, she looks like she was probably in Playboy.

She's in a magazine.

Look at that.

That's so stupid with the hat on.

I hate when they put girls in stupid outfits in porno.

I'm a pulpy.

This is my favorite picture with the track marks and his shit and all the fucking bikini lines.

Yeah.

That's the hot shit.

And the fake pearls.

All right, so let's call one of these TCBYs while you check that out.

She's got a nice dumper.

We're going to call the TCBY in Colorado.

Blimpy subs and salads and TCBY.

All right, I've got to get back to the number there, big guy.

Shut up.

Hang on.

You call me big guy all the time.

My whoopie's the same.

I call you chubbykins.

Damn, who keeps on leaving messages?

Boom T2S, Matthew.

How you doing? Is this the TCBY?

Yes, it is.

Okay. What kind of flavors do you have?

We have cheesecake and white chocolate.

White chocolate mousse?

Soft serve.

White chocolate mousse? What is this mousse?

Whoa! Whoa!

Sir, can you explain the mousse to me, please? I'm interested in coming in there, but can you explain the mousse?

It's a yogurt flavor.

flavor. It's a yogurt flavor but mousse. What's the difference between like a mousse and just

like a pudding or a regular chocolate flavor? What makes it moussey? I don't know. You have

no idea? No, no. What do you prefer there? Of the three, what can you recommend? For

all the white chocolate mousse. White chocolate mousse? That does sound good. Do you have

a sugar-free alternative there? The chocolate is no sugar. Okay. No sugar and no fat. Don't

lie to me. No sugar and no fat. If I go down there and I eat it and it has sugar and

and I die because I'm diabetic,

I'm going to come back and kill you.

You know what I mean?

I mean, that would really be...

Any other questions?

That would really be fucked up,

you know what I mean?

Any other questions?

Okay, so this is frozen yogurt you sell there.

Is that ice cream?

Yes, it's frozen yogurt.

And what's the sense in that?

Is it better taste?

Is it better for you?

It's just a different type.

Okay, okay.

What else do you have?

Do you have, like, a hot dog

or something to eat other than ice cream?

We have subs,

but I have customers right now.

Let me talk to one of the customers real quick.

You should ask him if he had waffle cones

Waffle cones

I don't get that

I don't like that

Why would you want something

Like you're eating an ice cream

And then why do you want your ice cream in something sweet

Like you want your ice cream in an ice cream cone

Because it ain't sweet

And then people are like I want a waffle cone

And then they melt and they drip out of the bottom

They're fucking gay

They glue this fucking paper onto it

You can't eat the whole thing

I hate the paper sometimes

I used to go to ice cream

Like my mom would go

Let's go get ice cream

And I would get it in a little

I get it in a cup

Yeah that's what I would do too

I don't want the cone

Cones are retarded

The cone is like shit

The cone is like fucking paper

Yeah cones are stupid

They taste like paper

They leak

And you gotta hold them

I used to just get a cup

And a spoon

It's the easiest way to eat it

Yeah but let me get a spoon

You know when I get

Halfway down to it

I like to take the spoon

And just mix it all

Until it gets soft

Like a soup

And I eat it

Really?

Yeah it's good

You don't do that ever?

No

When I was a kid

I had a microwave

When I eat ice cream, I throw it in the microwave before I eat it.

Well, you have to do that.

If it comes straight from the freezer.

I like to melt it a little bit.

Well, because, yeah.

But if you get it right from the grocery store that first night, you can eat it right straight from.

Because it melts a little bit by the time you get home from the grocery store.

Oh, well, that's just for eating right away.

You don't need ice cream anyway, you sugar.

I eat sugar-free ice cream.

There's good sugar-free ice cream.

Oh, that's not the worst.

It gives you shits.

Yeah, I don't eat it much.

It does give you the shits, though.

But, yes.

Magic Matt is asking me to give him a shout-out.

So, Magic Matt.

Magic Matt on AOL.

You can reach us there at Madhouse Radio.

Right?

This is Madhouse Radio.

Good.

The phone battery's dying, so people can't call me anymore.

So you can play it on a station.

He has it on a station.

I don't know.

The link to my show so I can play it on my station.

I'll have to get that to you later.

I don't just give that out.

Go Red Sox.

And he says we should call Walmart.

Yeah.

Okay.

Saigon says Zolar's departure has caused a massive drop in listenership.

I disagree with that.

It was already a little before he left, as a matter of fact.

And I think that's the reason why he left.

Yeah, no one was listening before.

What are we at?

Oh, let's see.

We're at the 41, son.

18.

We're up to over 60.

We gained one.

63.

63 listeners.

That's good.

63 listeners.

And we are over 60.

But I remember, like, you know, like, a couple months ago, we were up around 100 users.

Yeah, I know.

And I thought we were doing better, like, now than we were before.

So, those people lost out on a lot of, you know.

I think I'm funnier drunk than I am high.

That might be part of it.

Okay.

I didn't like coming

when I was high sometimes.

I used to really watch TV.

You used to kind of

just chill out.

I used to really watch TV

and I'd be like,

I'd be sitting back here

and I'd be like,

man,

Chris is stupid.

Yeah,

that was never nice.

No,

I could whip his ass.

I can't,

so.

You can't.

Are you going to turn

the thing back on

so he doesn't call?

Well,

thanks for giving it out.

Yeah,

I'll go with the

toll-free line now.

Alright,

yeah,

don't call it that

fucking internet relay shit

because it's not funny.

Yeah,

you're going to cause problems.

Nobody likes it.

It's okay,

later then it could be funny but when you call us it's not funny exactly okay so moving right along

let me re-enable that first here we're gonna call the next uh prank in toll free lines now open if

you want to call in after that um feeling juicy in san dimas california home of bill and ted right

yeah i love that movie san dimas high san dimas high rules what was the name of their uh team

They're a mascot

Wild Stallions

No that was their band

Okay

See Demas High

Was it like the Broncos

The Broncos

That was a great movie

That was

The second one sucked

No I like that one too

I like when they're

Playing checkers

With the Grim Reaper

That all that shit

Took too long

And then Evil Bill and Ted

Evil Bill and Ted

That was the first movie

Where they had

Just like evil people

Like evil me

And evil you

And shit

Yeah then they had

The stupid ass

Station thing

I like that too

Alien

Station

That was a great movie

Station

And then Station played a wicked bass

He played the bongos man

I thought he was playing bass

I don't remember

I must have seen the first one probably like a hundred times

Remember when evil Bill and Ted

Killed Bill and Ted

And then he hocked a loogie on him

That was great

He was totally going to hock a loogie on evil me

I mean a good me

Yeah that was the best

Ah shit

I hate these smileys

I gotta turn off the smileys and his cats and shit.

Yeah, why is it he does that?

That's kind of gay.

Yeah, no, it comes up automatically.

It's not his fault.

He does a good job.

So anyway, I'm supposed to be playing weed music tonight during calls, so.

You haven't.

You got, like, hits from the bong?

Do you got any of that stuff?

I didn't download that.

I could have brought the CD if you told me you didn't have it.

I got Cypress Hill on the break, though.

We're gonna be playing I Wanna Get High.

And the Gospel Weed song by Bizarre is also gonna play.

But right now, here's Styles P with Good Times, I Get High.

And we're gonna call somebody.

but it sucks

yo hey what's up

what place is this

this is in wepahu

how are your prices

well it's various

we have like clothes

we have tvs and stuff

so the prices I don't know

people look at prices differently

yo that's stupid

how much is

your most expensive tv

my the most

Okay, what is the most expensive TV over there?

2,100 for a 56-inch Panasonic.

Yo, is that a plasma screen?

Is that a plasma screen?

No.

Yo, that's...

LCD.

That's stupid, yo.

Yo, how many you got on hand right now?

I'm coming in with my credit card.

Yo, I just bought this credit card.

Oh, we only have the floor model right now.

Yeah, I just bought this credit card.

I'm coming in.

Okay.

Yo, how many...

You don't have any in right now?

We have the one that's on the floor right now.

Yo, I'll take it.

Huh?

I'll take it.

Okay.

Yo, can you all install that in my house?

Do we install?

No, we don't install.

Yo, how do I install?

I got this 12 inch TV.

I don't know how to install it.

Give me any kind of a TV and how you install it.

I don't know how to install a TV, so I don't know what to do.

Hello?

Yeah, you got the biggest TV, 64 inches, the biggest in the world?

The biggest TV we have is 56 inches.

That's the one I want, yo.

Yeah, we're selling it for actually $2,099.

There's no tax or anything.

Oh, no tax?

Yeah.

You're going to pay $2,099.

That's your tax.

Is that under the table, no taxes, yo?

No, no, no.

Yo, that's how I get paid, under the table.

We're a liquidation store, so.

Yeah.

Yeah, we pay the tax.

Yo, I build luggage under the table.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Yeah, you can come by here, man, and pick it up if you want it.

Yo, you got any tables there, too?

Two, I need a table to put it on, unless you're going to install it for me.

Oh, like a stand?

Yeah.

Yeah, it's on a, we have a TV stand for it.

Yo, can I put it on a table, though?

A table?

Yeah.

What kind of table?

Like a coffee table.

Um, if you want to.

I got like, I got like five coffee tables here.

Yeah, you can put it on a coffee table if you want to.

All right.

It'll go on a coffee table.

All right.

So, how do I get that HBO?

How do you get the what?

That HBO.

It gets that HBO on it.

You got to call in the cable guy.

Okay, y'all got that?

No, we ain't got that.

Y'all got that box?

Y'all got that?

No, we ain't got the box.

You got to call Roadrunner.

Y'all got that, the scrambler?

No, we ain't got that.

Yo, I got that, the scrambler.

Oh, you got that?

But I got this 12-inch TV, and I can't see nothing.

You know, it's small.

Yeah, you just got to come and get the TV, then.

I sit like two inches from the screen, and it's like I'm in the movies.

Yo, so you want to come over and, you know, maybe take this scrambler off my hands?

No.

Yo, I'll trade you for that TV.

We can't do that.

So, hey, you want to sell the scramblers?

Want one, man?

Okay.

I'll hook you up nice.

No, I'm cool.

I'll hook you up 522 channels, man.

You just give me 50 bucks, yo.

You get all that?

That's for digital?

Yeah.

The digital one, they don't have scramblers with digital cable.

Yeah, they do.

I got it, yo.

I got it.

I got it in Korea.

I was over there in the army.

They got that shit.

Yeah, don't tell nobody, but I'm serious.

50 bucks, yo.

Yo, you get all that porno and stuff?

I know you like that wrestling, you know?

Yo, come on, man.

$50.

No, I'm cool.

All right.

Well, how about I bring it in and I show it to you how it works?

Maybe, maybe, but yeah.

Yo, you want to buy this white kid?

Buy a what?

I got this virgin white kid over here, white boy.

He's a Howley.

you know you know what a holly is all right man all right yo well i'm coming in and we're gonna

get that shit on all right i'm gonna show you to the box it's a it's a blue i call it the blue box

i drew a picture of the hamburger on it too all right yo well peace yo center the number you wish

to call shut up yeah that's pretty good i like i love eddie eddie call eddie calls great oh eddie

garcia eddie garcia the biggest tv in the 102 inch plasma okay exactly what earth doc said he says

He likes that character also.

Great.

Is this the image of the biggest TV?

Ooh, it's a Samsung, too, just like my cell phone.

Cell phone, Andy.

I want to get that new cell phone, man.

$250.

I don't know.

The largest TV in the world, 102 inches.

It's got dolphins on it.

That's what Vander Holyfield got.

Vander Holyfield beats it up.

He crashes through it like it's a curtain.

He's, like, retarded.

Have you seen him talk, really?

He talks about Jesus.

Yeah, man.

I mean, like, if you got all that money, but you've gotten the shit out of your whole life,

you should retire early.

He's like, I'm going to appear in the next show.

I mean, he sounds like fucking Muhammad Ali already.

You remember Celebrity Deathmatch?

Yes.

When they had Evander Holyfield versus Mike Tyson?

No.

And Mike Tyson.

They fought in real life.

Why do they need to be on that gay show?

Well, they had a rematch, and they fought in a hotel room.

And Mike Tyson made a ring for him.

He picked up the phone.

He goes, ring, ring, hello.

And he's like, oh, it's for you, Evander.

And he goes, and Evander Holyfield takes the phone.

and it goes hello hello hello and then um mike tyson took the phone and spread smashed it over

his head and then the man holyfield would just talk about jesus and get back yeah it was weird

i've never seen that i was high in that show it looked funny yeah that was a stupid show when i

saw it was funny because it just made the man holyfield kept coming back and they're like

he's coming back again what is it what do you want god what should we put in whatever man you're not

nice to it i don't know i don't like that cat i don't like any of these two cats are here um

Poop is sending numbers for Bob Marley, Jeff Foxworthy, J.JuShit,

Chat Paul Pimpa, Hank Hunt, Chuang Ching, Cy Y. Chang, Jesus Christ,

Carlos Mencia.

He says that's the real Carlos Mencia.

You got to call that.

Eddie Garcia has to call Carlos Mencia or take this call first.

Who is that, the dead?

Illinois.

No, I thought the dead was from Illinois.

Yeah, he is, but he's from Schaumburg or something.

Oh, I know Schaumburg.

Schaumburg is gangster town.

Yeah?

No, the Italian gangsters.

They're real gangsters.

Polacks and gangsters.

Hello?

What's up, guy?

Not much, guy.

How are you, guy?

Hey, this is Demented from the Weed Smoker Lounge on camfrog.com.

I just wanted to share a 420 rip with you guys.

All right, sure.

Go ahead.

Let's do that whenever you're ready.

You guys have a happy 420.

All right.

You too there, buddy.

You have the lungs of a virgin girl.

Sure, that's it.

Yeah.

Well, that's the 420 lounge.

We've been getting a lot of listens.

Yeah.

420 lounge.

420 it is.

Man, I can't find any weed anywhere.

wear most of it. Maybe some people in the

420 Lounge can direct me to some weed or something.

You know what I mean? You know anybody in

Central Florida that's not a cop or something?

That'd be nice. I think they could get quality stuff.

You know, 420 Lounge. Probably.

Who do you think that's all about? I mean, you can get

it shipped to you if you, like, you know, really

don't care. Yeah, somebody do that.

Braden is saying, open the line for a

Puerto Rican. The phone line's open.

The toll free line's open. It's 1-88...

He's a Puerto Rican, so he's probably not paying his bill.

Yeah. Yo, I gotta steal the phone

first, but yo, I'll call you.

We'll find out if Brandon likes to race his car.

Yeah, so 1-888-278-8509.

Again, that's 1-888-278-8509.

Andy, what is the worst weed song you could say?

What comes to your mind?

I don't know.

I think it's this next song we're going to play here before we do this prank call.

Afro Man, Because I Got High.

Yeah, I don't like that song.

Don't you think that's the worst weed song?

But I'm going to play it anyway.

I know people who are like, Afro Man is really good.

Whatever.

And people don't know because just that one dumb song was like the hit song.

I heard nothing else.

What else did he do?

I heard one, like, you know...

What else did he do?

Yeah, he was, like, the forerunner to Kanye West, kind of.

He was, like, you know, he thought he was, like, you know, all smart and shit.

But he did the stupid song to get on MTV, and then...

Yeah, and then, like, you know, it kind of ruined him.

It kind of ruined him.

It ruined his popularity.

You know, Eminem pulled that off, right?

He did that, My Name Is Some Member.

Hi, my name is...

Yeah, but that was still, you know, a real song.

Yeah, but his album was, like, nothing like that, though.

That was the only song, and he did it on purpose.

Just to get on MTV.

you know but that's when you get

solidified i guess in the industry or something like that whatever that means because it ain't

He doesn't even play fucking videos on there anymore.

I still think he's a really good rapper.

I just can't listen to him more than one or two songs because he's so nasally.

He's like the modern day equivalent of Flavor Flav.

Flavor Flav is great as a bad guy just yelling shit.

And he's like Snoop Dogg, too.

I don't like Snoop Dogg on his own.

I like Snoop Dogg backing up Dr. Dre.

The problem with Eminem, I think, he resorts to lots of comedy and jokes in his rap.

Yeah, well, half his album's serious and half is goofy.

Yeah, but the goofy stuff, he relates it to current events and stuff.

Like, if you listen to his album that came out in 2000 right now,

the second album, it's stupid because he's talking about, like, I don't know.

Tom Green.

Yeah, it's like my bum and all this stuff.

Nobody knows who Tom Green is anymore.

Not Jenna Jameson.

Who's the other bitch?

The girl who was really famous and shit.

The one that had.

Tatiana Ali.

Not Tatiana Ali.

He talks about Britney Spears.

not Jenna Jameson

the girl

the chick that

used to be

with the guy

with the dick

and the

the porno

Athena

with the black guy

no not Athena

the guy that was

with the guy

from Motley Crue

Pam Anderson

I was never into her

that's old shit

no one's into that shit

yeah she's old

she has hepatitis

yeah

I mean would you think

it's funny if you heard

a song like that song

it'd be like

rapping about

Cindy Crawford

right now

you know what I mean

it's not current

it's gonna be stupid

I still like Cindy Crawford

His stuff will not stand the test of time.

That one portfolio she did for Playboy, like in 98.

Right.

Yeah, that was nice.

Black people coming up next.

Juicy Chicks and Waffles in L.A., Los Angeles, California.

I just love the combination of chicken and waffles.

Chicken and waffles.

Where did that come from?

Ask them where that came from.

I think we've called them before, haven't we?

It wasn't this one.

We've called them before.

If you go to L.A., there's all sorts of chicken and waffle places.

Did I tell the chick, I told her to get me someone, uh, I was starting to talk about

hot sauce, I said, ask him to get, put some on the phone, talk about hot sauce.

This boy goes, yeah, I like crisp.

Yeah, that's the hot sauce I like, yeah.

I don't know much about, no, no, no, no, that was dope.

I like crisp.

My thing, like, a lot of it is, I think they make their chicken, they just dip it into

their waffle stuff when they deep fry it, and so it's, like, cheap to do it that way.

It's nasty.

So, like, you make waffles all morning, chicken the rest of the day.

Good afternoon, this is Salaman, how are you?

Good afternoon, is this Juicy Chicks and Waffles, please?

Hello?

This is, uh, yeah.

Okay, yeah.

That's the name of the company.

What do you sell there now?

We sell Mexican food, and we sell chicken, and we sell waffles.

What happened to the chicken and waffles?

What do you mean, what happened?

Well, do you have them there still? They were really good before.

Yeah, yeah, we have it.

Yo, are the black people still there?

Excuse me?

Are the black people still there?

I don't understand your question, sir.

Are there any black people? You know, the black people that used to be there, are they still there?

I don't know.

Okay, well, I don't know much. What is the menu like? You have Mexican, I need chicken and waffles is what I want, sir.

Uh-huh.

Okay.

We do.

Now, who primarily comes in to buy chicken and waffles? Mexicans, white people?

Mexican people.

Mexican people get chicken and waffles?

Not many, but yes, few people.

What about black people?

Probably, I don't know.

Do you have a lot of black people coming in there asking for chicken and waffles?

no but that's not up to you to know but understand your question sir so if you

like to order yes order but I'm with the state in my eyes white people or

Spanish people whoever what about Puerto Rican people what about Puerto Rican

people what about Puerto Rican people okay sir have a nice night no I want to

make an order please you was Mexican Mexicans don't sell no chicken and

Waffles is lying. It's a trap

for black people. You should ask them about

Assland. Assland. Assland.

Okay. I'm waiting for the phone.

Please enter the number you wish to call. Let's call

Feelin' Juicy. Please enter...

Hi, I have a question about

Goofus and Gallant. Do you think they were kind of funny?

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Goofus and Gallant, they were

related in High Life?

You know, High Life? But you don't.

Okay. Sorry. This is in the magazine?

No, it's not. What is it then?

It's a grocery store. Yo, we love your

your magazine, though.

All righty, then.

I think you have

the wrong number,

but thanks anyway.

Bye.

No, but I got...

Ma'am?

Oh, God.

What a bitch.

We should call...

Let's do that.

Let's try to get

someone else to...

Yeah, send them the...

Yeah, um...

That guy's name

was, um...

Ariem.

A-R-I-E-M, right?

I think it was...

No, no, no, it was

A-R-I-E-M.

Calls (8, 19 min of 1 h 6 min)

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