2006-04-20 Show (part 2)

it's probably bad

you know what else

is interesting

is the different way

that white people

smoke weed

compared to black people

and like Puerto Rican people

yeah

you could do all the show

on just on that

like why

why won't black people

like you give them

a bong

and they look at it

like it's like

a calculator

they have no clue

how to use it

or a book

like what the hell

going on

like that dude Eli

he's like fuck that

you know what I mean

he's always like

well no he

I like you

the black guys

that I hung out with, I always eventually

go, because you'd be like, look, dude, it's way better

to smoke out of a bong, because it's not as

harsh, and it goes straight to your head,

and you can take a bigger hit. And eventually

they came around, but they still rather smoke

a blunt. And then

black guys won't smoke joints. They're like,

no, I ain't smoking a joint. I won't either.

I think joints are for fags.

Joints stink you up, I've found.

Really? You think so? Yeah, they do. I hate them.

They're terrible. They burn so fast,

they taste awful. Blunts are

the best, I think. A good blunt.

I roll the best blunts in town

But I don't anymore

For a white guy

You think you're going to go back to anything?

You think this is permanent?

Probably

If I end up getting the job I'm trying to get

They're going to random drug test

Every two years at least

I'll get one

It's not worth it

Every once in a while

I'll sit there and be like

It'd be great if I could just smoke a bowl

It always leads

like when i smoked i always end up smoking too much and then it gets to the point where you

don't even you don't even really get high anymore because like when i quit smoking for a little bit

and then like i didn't smoke for a week and then i smoked just like a bowl of crippy yeah and i had

like yeah like my i had like you know pleasure waves in my legs and shit i was all tingly and

stuff like that and i would smoke really good weed like you know months before you know i would smoke

smoke every day really good stuff, like just top

grade stuff. They didn't want to do anything

to me hardly compared to that. And then the stuff I was smoking

then wasn't even that great.

I just can't contain myself.

Oh, no.

Yeah, I'm a terrible person.

Arian Farrow, Washington age.

That could be him. He was about that age.

Messenger Pace High School.

Okay, well, he's got a lead on him. No phone number yet.

Lonesome Losers on the case. Thank you, Lonesome Losers.

We love Lonesome Losers. Could he be that old?

Because he was a couple years older than us, right?

Excuse me.

Andy, what do you think of the soundboard I made?

You don't have a lot in there so far.

What do I got?

I didn't use it at all.

The short fart.

We got that.

Here's more weed music.

Ludicrous blueberry yum yum.

Ever had any of that, Andy?

I smoked that before.

Yeah, I've had that.

I've had pretty much all the regular stuff, but there'll be all sorts of times where people

are like, oh, I got that blueberry, or oh, I got that chocolate, or oh, I got that purple

hay.

And you get it, it's not really, like, you know, it's kind of purple, but, you know.

Yeah, you don't get it.

I mean, I'm not saying that you don't get it, but, I mean, it doesn't make any sense.

Well, you know, every once in a while I would get it, but then they'd be like,

oh, you need an extra five hours, a quarter, an acre, or some shit like that.

I'd be like, you know, I don't really get high off it, just, you know, much more than I would off a regular Crippie.

Right.

So, after a while, I was like, fuck it.

When I first started smoking Crippie pre-9-11, the guy came by, he was like a,

i think he was on like from south america and he rode around on a uh i got ninja all day

and he had a backpack and he had yeah you call him up and he'd be at your place in 15 minutes

he had a backpack with like six or seven different kinds of weed holy shit and he'd sit there and he'd

be like this is really good if you want to chill you're drinking you need this if you're doing

this you need this he's like if you're getting up on yak this will put you down all sorts of stuff

and that was great but that all you know after 9-11 yeah we didn't have that kind of variety

is not down not this far south anymore well no well florida we always get the best stuff because

it comes in through miami and through tampa we got like you know we're surrounded by ports so

we get really good weed here okay like in our weeds cheaper and anywhere you know maybe like

you know if you're smoking regs you know it's cheapest in the southwest but if you're smoking

creepy it's florida and then like you know new york and uh oregon and uh fucking washington

and they get real cheap shit out there.

D.C., they got cheap shit.

Ours is pretty good.

Pretty good price-wise, and we get pretty good variety,

but it's not anywhere near what it was before 9-11.

Everything he pulled out of his bag was just like nothing but crystals,

and it's just like, oh, man.

And he's riding around with that on his bike.

Yeah, it was his motorcycle, and he was cool as fuck, too,

because he'd sit there, and he'd be like, you know,

give me your bong and we'll sample all of it.

We'd smoke like two or three bowls before I'd even buy anything.

You'd be fucked up by that.

Yeah, I don't even remember his name.

I just remember I just called him and I was like I think it started with a B and he was

Spanish his last name started with a B that's some crazy shit yeah I was like yo man like

you know he'd come by you know you hear him jetting up on his ninja

after 9-11 that cat disappeared they probably took him away yeah maybe him and Cheech yeah

How many lists have we got?

Okay, we've lost seven listeners.

Okay, we're moving right along, everybody.

Oh, we've got a couple back.

Anyway, Andy, I've got the soundboard going on, so you've got the toilet flush.

I played that when you were going to the bathroom.

Really?

That's fine.

We've got four minutes of farts.

We don't want to hear that.

Laughter.

We've got the...

Hey, Nelson.

Yeah, Nelson, we've got the buzzer.

That was always good.

We got Taps, if someone dies.

Proof, his funeral you said?

Yeah, Proof died, and then he had his funeral this week.

Proof, right there.

We'll play this for Proof.

Proof, he was the guy on 8 Mile who had the dreads, I think.

That was his character.

Is he the one that fucked the white chick in the DJ studio?

I don't know.

I never really watched the movie.

I bought it for my school.

Proof's dead.

That shit's too loud.

Damn it.

Anyway.

That's for Proof.

From D12

I don't know

Whatever

He's a good friend

Of Eminem's or something

Yeah that's his

Claim to fame

He's a friend to

A dorky white guy

Exactly

He was a good rapper though

I like this stuff

I don't think I have

Anything by a proof

I have a song with a proof

I've never even heard

Him before

Tell you the truth

I mean I probably

Heard him

Like I heard some

D12 stuff

So I'm sure he was in it

But like

You know

I never really

Well

He can't find any

Phone number for the guy

I have an address

For him

But no phone number

Well that's alright

Thank you for trying buddy

That's Lonesome Loser

Trying as always

He's the number one stunner.

Number one stunner.

Okay.

Bob Marley.

Complimentary to a lot of people for smoking.

People, I guess, who you hate.

I just don't like Bob Marley.

This is such simplistic music.

There's nothing really going on.

And it's not even that it's such bad music.

It's the fact that it's so loved for no real good reason.

You know what I'm saying?

It's like when people love stuff that sucks, it pisses me off.

Yeah, people really love Bob Marley.

Yeah, I mean, there's, like, you know, people, you see them, you see, like, white kids in

cars, they ride around with their Bob Marley stickers on the back of their car, and they

listen to reggae music just because they smoke weed.

Like, it's like, you know, it's, oh, I smoke weed, therefore I must listen to reggae.

That's why I don't like it, because it's, like, it's just a stupid stereotype.

These are the same kids, if you got a Bob Marley poster, odds are you have a, you got

an alien head up on your room, too, or you got an alien head with a cat in the hat hat

on it.

Oh, that's stupid.

Or, and you probably have a picture of a Scarface poster, because you're a total tool, and you

just go with whatever is cool.

Yeah, you're a fucking dork.

Scarface is the most overrated movie of all time.

It is.

I agree.

It's not that great.

I like it, but it's not.

I mean, I know why Black is like, yo, Scarface, yo, say hello to my little friend, yo.

But, I mean, it's like, you see white kids who love it, you think of Scarface.

They don't understand it.

It's just, it's pathetic.

It's sad.

Iris Van Meter.

Now, this is Nunu from the United Kingdom, the UK.

Our allies and friends over there.

Iris Van Meter is trying to ban sex education and introduce a law where kids have to get written permission if they want to attend sex education classes.

You know, it was the opposite when I was getting sex ed in sixth grade here in Florida.

They gave you the permission slip to give to your parents if they wanted you not to go.

They did it opposite.

I thought they didn't give sex education to you Puerto Ricans the way you guys reproduce.

They did.

Oh.

They did.

Went down to the hospital.

We got to see the aborted baby inside the little formaldehyde jar.

It's swimming around in there and flicking you off and shit.

It was dead.

Oh, it was dead?

It was a formaldehyde.

What do you think it is?

Jesus.

God damn it.

If you put that on your blood, you'll get fucked up.

Don't do that, kids.

Don't do that.

Dang.

That should make you crazy.

I will.

That'll kill you.

I've seen people on that before.

Really?

Yeah, it didn't look like it was fun.

Did they have boners?

I didn't check.

That's not what I heard.

I'm sorry.

I heard they get boners.

That's what I heard.

Nunu says, yeah, whatever.

It's a sex education.

Call her saying you are calling everyone in Kansas offering free sex ed without permission

and wondered if she needed any advice.

Perhaps on the estimated positions for older, larger, fat women.

We've had her picture on this show before.

I don't remember how to get it.

And Nunu's probably asleep by now because it's like, I don't know, 5 a.m. over there or something like that.

He's not that late.

There's six hours difference.

He stays up late listening to us.

He's crazy.

Does he have a job or anything?

He does.

He's not working until 5 o'clock in the morning.

What kind of job do you think Nunu has?

I think he works in a call center.

He's probably a Bobby.

No, I think he's a Bobby.

He's a telemarketer.

I think he's a telemarketer.

Yeah, I think he is.

That's bizarre.

They got telemarketers there.

Yeah, he has prank calls with telemarketers, actually.

And they're funny.

He doesn't talk ever.

He's never talked into prank calls.

It's all sound boards, but it's good.

Remember the one with Tom Hanks?

No.

Tom Hanks talking to Tim Searcy, the president of the Telemarketer Association?

Yeah, I think I do remember that, actually.

He did that.

Hey, Jimmy Hendrix, this is good.

Purple Haze.

Yeah.

Speaking of Purple Haze.

It's not really a pot song, really.

I think it's a heroin song.

Really?

Yeah.

He didn't have any pot music.

Yeah, when you take a spike of heroin, I get Purple Haze.

Purple Haze.

Yeah, and then they name weed off of it.

They were saying the toll-free line is still busy.

I didn't know.

You probably just didn't.

No, it's been enabled.

The toll-free line is enabled.

It's been enabled.

888-278-850.

You just disabled that.

I'm going to log in again and check it.

But, yeah, the toll-free line is open.

If you want to reach us here, 1-888-278-8509.

And I am confirming that that is enabled.

Call in.

Go for it.

Our PR friends.

Yeah.

Cafe Weenie in Seattle, Washington.

Let's see what else we have here.

We still got to call that Melissa Scott bitch.

I have to call her without blocking the number.

No, I can't.

You don't have to be, like, you know, especially vicious or anything.

You can call her.

Talk to her, dude.

She's like, hey.

What's up, Dad?

Jesus Christ, it's so warm in here.

Hello?

We're sorry.

Your call cannot be...

Oh.

Yes, hi.

Is this the helpline for, um, with the Gene Scott's Ministries?

Okay.

Um, it's kind of embarrassing.

Is this anonymous, first of all?

Yes.

Okay, so, like, if my parents were to call back or something,

I mean, you guys wouldn't tell them unless you have my permission, right, ma'am?

Yes.

Okay.

What kind of help do you offer?

Are you listening to the program?

Yes, I am, and I'm inspired, and I really wanted to talk to somebody.

I have some evils in my heart, and I want to make a change, but I don't know how to do that.

I don't know if someone can maybe help me out, pray with me or something.

Well, if you continue to listen to the program, this is a message line.

Okay.

You would find out how to do that.

Well, can't you help me?

Why are you picking up to help me, I thought.

God put you here to help me Jesus and God both of them. Okay. Thank you for calling, but it's an intervention

You should call back you like this Satan I got the young boy

I'm a pederast

And I ain't going over to Satan for show she did it to not to follow up

I understand what she was saying, but just you you're supposed to leave a message

I don't know. What the hell was that about what I want to hear live who that there's really if a gene Scott was dead

dead he said oh from on the brave okay on the grave your donations have kept me alive that's

how it works i'm not going to die until you pay me cafe weenie in seattle washington we're feeling

juicy we already called feeling juicy didn't we i think so maybe we didn't call them maybe not

feeling juicy that's probably like a juice place yeah i don't know did we call and ask for a peanut

peanut butter smoothie with extra creatine and meth.

Andy, why don't you ask for something?

Why don't you ever do a call?

Well, I laugh, so it's not good.

I guess it doesn't work.

Here's something for Andy.

Mad Lion.

Yo, you want some of this or what?

Reggae.

I don't like reggae.

Like, if I ever came here early, we could do calls before a show.

I'd do it.

I should next week.

You got your Mad Lion.

Yeah, who's Mad Lion?

Feeling juicy, juice bar.

This is Megan.

How can I help you?

Hi.

Great.

Great. I'm doing great. Do you have anything with creatine?

With creatine, we do not. We do have a metric shake, which is...

Ooh, the metric shake.

Sorry?

The metric shake?

Yes.

Is that weighed in kilograms or something like that?

Let me go check for you. Hold on one moment, please.

Kilograms. Okay.

That's stupid.

Should be right back with us, everybody.

What is wrong with the toll-free line?

I thought you wanted peanut butter and jelly.

I want peanut butter and jelly with an extra metric.

Extra metric in it. You'll put that metric shit in it.

Metric.

This is April 20th.

It's not Hitler's birthday, is it?

Okay.

You wanted to know if it was weight in kilograms, you said?

Yeah.

It's, um, I'm trying to look for it.

It's whey protein that's added in, like, any smoothie you want.

Oh, great.

Okay.

And there's no sugar, no aspartame.

I'm trying to, I'm not exactly sure what you're looking for.

Just, I don't know.

It's a metric shake, so I thought maybe, you know, it being metric.

Oh, I see where you're coming from now.

Yeah.

Yeah, actually, no, everything is measured in grams.

Grams, so that's metric.

It's true.

Great.

I only accept food in metric units, so that's great.

Do you have the peanut butter kind of thing going on?

We do.

We do have a smoothie called a Wacky Banana, which is nonfat milk, or you can do soy milk if you'd like.

Chocolate, peanut butter, banana, and yogurt.

And the yogurt can either, it's nonfat vanilla yogurt, or you can do soy yogurt as well.

Okay, how do you milk, how exactly do you milk a soy?

You know, I'm not exactly sure about that.

It's a very good, intelligent question.

I'm sorry I don't know how to answer for that.

Oh, you're being snappy.

No.

I mean, soy milk.

I've always wondered, how do you get milk from a soy?

What is a soy, anyway?

It's a soy bean.

How do you milk a bean?

I don't know.

You could probably, like, juice in it, I would assume.

Oh, probably has a...

Probably has more of a milky flavor, kind of like coconut milk.

You think it has teats on it?

It's not really milk.

It's more like juice.

Do you think it has teats on it?

Mm, probably not.

Yeah.

That would be my guess.

Big teats or small ones?

I don't know.

It's a good question.

I know.

It's a good question.

Maybe you should answer that for me.

You got big teats or small teats on them beans?

I'm sorry.

I have to go.

We have customers.

Is this a question about beans?

I'm sorry.

I have to go.

What was your name?

You know, I'm going to hang up now.

What is your ID number, please?

I don't have an ID number, but thank you for asking.

Can I have your social security number?

No.

Come on, girl.

Okay.

Bye.

I'll give you the wacky banana.

Ah, you banana.

Wacky banana.

Alright, that was pretty good.

Thanks, Andy.

Anyway, Poop says he could imagine Carlos being Scarface, but he kills those guys who invade his home.

You know they made a video game, a Scarface video game where in alternate reality he survived?

No, I didn't know that.

And started up again.

The game is you as Tony Montana starting up again after all his people got killed.

Really?

Yeah, with nobody.

No Manny, no nothing.

I want to play the Godfather video game.

Is it out yet?

Yeah, it came out like a month or so ago.

If I wait for it to come out, like, you know, I only buy my games, like, when they're $15.

Yeah, you got to get them.

I wait, like, eight months.

Yeah, I don't get why you want to pay $50 so you can get eight months for $15.

Yeah, exactly.

Just for the presence of saying, oh, I got it.

Like, I won't get an Xbox 360 if the price drops, like, twice.

I heard the PlayStation, the new one coming out, was, like, $900.

That's sick.

I'd rather get an Xbox 360.

I'd rather get an 8-ball and a fucking really hot whore.

Oh, that's great.

Yeah.

Yeah, that is great.

Wait a minute.

I don't know, but I don't play video games if I don't have to.

I'd rather get an 8-ball and a really high hooker.

Like, you know, a $600 hooker.

And then you still have a couple hundred bucks left over.

$800 well spent, Andy.

Okay, who shall we call next?

Poop.

Call C.A.Y. Chang.

He answered when Mark from Monkey Phone called.

Why not then?

Who is Mark from Monkey Phone?

That's that kid who touched himself on camera.

Yeah, that's right.

I remember that.

And then, like, old white guys pay him money.

That's Joop's twin brother, Mark.

Really?

Joop has a twin brother?

Mark and Matt.

No, Matt is the brother, and Joop is Mark.

Really?

Yeah.

Anyway.

They're not doing a show this Saturday.

Too bad.

They're in Florida, I heard.

They're in Illinois.

I heard no.

I heard they're busy in Florida.

Oh, yeah.

Brother's wedding is in Florida, yeah.

We're at in Florida.

They should come by and stay in your guest room.

Let's find them.

I got his last name.

Harper.

It is.

It's Harper.

You got to find that bitch.

Joop Harper.

Yeah.

Saigon says, Gregory wants someone to go to Tahoe with him tomorrow.

Give me his number.

Okay, I guess that's from Craigslist.

He also says, call this gamer radio.

They got like 200 people listening to their crap.

Their Skype name is MMO Game Time.

Okay.

Well, I can't.

I'm not going to use Skype.

Fuck that shit.

Sorry, Saigon.

Perhaps we'll call Gregory.

I don't know if that's a Craigslist thing or not, but I'll check that out.

Dr. Dre says, poop is a fucking queer.

Poop or jupe?

Poop.

Is that what he calls jupe?

He calls them poop?

Poop.

sound a little gay, but that may be because they're like

12. Well, the stoner kids are in the channel.

Everybody sounds gay when they're 12.

They had a link to their website. I should give

them a shout out. That was pretty cool.

The Weaker Smoke, I'm sorry,

Weed Smokers Lounge. Smokers with a Z.

Yeah, because that's the

smoker way to spell it.

I hate that. Why do I think this is the wrong

shit to be clicking here for some reason?

Okay. They say they're in camfrog.com.

Camfrog.com. I don't see any weed smoking

on this bitch. Whatever. I don't know.

Okay. Oh, yeah!

Yeah, there we go.

Some porn will just flash right up.

There we go.

You close that?

Dick.

Here, you do what you want.

Hang on, let me get to the numbers here.

Second call someone.

Team Casino.

That's awesome.

Team Casino.

We're Team Casino.

Well, speaking of Dr. Dre in the chat room,

if you want to visit our homepage, madhouselive.com,

you can also visit PCU Radio at kdk, as in kill, death, kill,

kdkprankcalls.com.

And on either page, you can join our chat room.

Dr. Dre's in there hating up on, uh, who is it now? He's hating up on, uh, fuckin' somebody.

Who was Dr. Dre hating up on?

Saigon, right? I think? No, Poop. Yeah, Poop is a fuckin' queer.

Team Casino, this is Mindy.

Team Casino?

Yeah.

Okay, is this a casino or is this Team Casino I'm speaking with?

Nope, we're a casino company. Sorry.

Okay. Can you furnish a basement to look like a casino?

Uh, don't do that.

What the hell do you do? Is Mindy there?

If you want, I'd go online and see what I could find there as far as, you know, tables and things like that.

I don't really have a computer, though.

You what?

I don't really have a computer.

Oh.

Well, I just claimed bankruptcy and all.

Hmm?

I just claimed bankruptcy and all, you know?

Uh-huh.

Lost the computer, lost my pool table, lost the widescreen TV.

I even lost my refrigerator.

I lost my refrigerator and I just eat canned and boxed up, you know?

Oh.

So what I'm trying to do is I'm trying to start a casino for my friends and stuff to come over, the guys, everything on the weekends.

Oh, yeah.

You know, if I was you and I wanted gambling just, like, in my house with my own equipment, can you make anything?

Yeah, I can.

Are you handy?

Yeah, I am pretty good, yeah.

Yeah.

I sling that hammer.

Oh, good for you.

Good for you.

Okay.

Yeah, I just built something.

Okay.

What do you do exactly?

Well, I'm asking for, like, I'm showing here.

Someone told me to call, speak to Mindy.

Do you guys have, like, tables and stuff, and you can set me up,

maybe rent out some, you know, car dealers and stuff like that?

I need a blackjack dealer and stuff.

We can rent you.

So we can bring our equipment and our dealers and do a casino for you

if that's what you're wanting.

That's what I'm talking about.

Once a week we do that.

Oh, okay.

I want horse racing also.

Give me your information, and I will mail you some information.

Are you walking?

You're walking right now, aren't you?

You know how I know?

How?

I can hear it in your voice.

Oh.

Because you've got the heaving that you get in the front.

I'm not, anyway.

A little bit.

What's that?

What was that?

Okay, let's see.

What was that?

All right.

What is your name?

My name is Ariam.

Okay, can you spell that?

A-R-I-A-M.

Okay.

And where should I mail this to?

You want to mail that to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue?

Or is it 1400?

1400, I'm sorry, 1400.

We moved two blocks down.

Yeah, 1400.

Pennsylvania Avenue, that's in D.C.

No, we're over here on the West Coast.

Oh, yeah, but we're headed over there next week.

Moving over there now.

Oh, okay, where are you moving to?

The West Coast.

Do you have your address?

The West Coast.

Okay, yeah, maybe you don't have an address for yourself yet.

I do, I do.

I mean, do you cover California?

I'm hoping...

You're moving to Eugene.

Eugene.

Oh, good.

Okay.

Oh yeah, Eugene.

Alright.

That's right.

Thank you.

And what's the zip code there?

99701.

I mean, like I said, we're just moving.

Alright.

I will mail you some information.

Okay.

Alright.

When you get...

What kind of services do you render?

You got blackjack, roulettes?

How does it work?

We've got blackjack, roulette, poker, and craps tables.

Okay.

I have to remember my list.

Dog fights

Pit bulls

Um

Illegal activity

Prostitute

Strippers

Cock fights

Bonestore fights

The card game war

Which I don't know

What that is

Andy

Yo Andy

Pick a number

Between one and ten

Four

Yo you're wrong

It's five

Four

Give me fifty dollars

The card game war

I don't know

Let me imagine that

Four

That'd be a good casino game

Why is it more

A casino game

That's the perfect

Game of chance

Yeah but it takes

It takes a long time to play.

Yeah.

Even that, can't you flip a coin?

Why can't they have coin flip?

Yeah.

Coin flip.

Cock fights.

Coin cock fights.

The gay war.

Dog fights.

Pit bull fights.

All right.

Well, that was Team Casino.

That's cool.

That'd be awesome if I lived out there, have a bouncer party, you know, get a casino set

up in your place and stuff.

Sure.

That'd be awesome.

And Aerothx says it is 1600 Pennsylvania.

That's what I said.

I thought it was murder at 14.

It is murder at 1600.

1600.

Okay.

So I was right originally.

Okay.

Dr. Dre says, nigga ask, nigga, nigga, ask about me.

Okay.

We did.

You didn't hear it?

You missed it.

There's a whole segment about you.

A whole segment about Dr. Dre.

Wow, look at that.

We're down to 11 on A-Book.

Oh, my God.

Are we under 50?

We just got two more.

We gained two and we lost one.

So, hey, we're making up.

We're under 40, 40.

Well, we're under 50.

50.

Okay, we are at 50.

I can't count.

We're under 50.

Under 50.

Wow, not a good night.

People are snowing and stuff, man.

And there's only seven minutes left in 420, man.

You're not going to smoke, are you sure?

No, I can't.

I know, man.

I'm going to be taking a drug test in the next three weeks.

But I smoked a lot of weed and passed the drug test.

Yeah, I'm not going to be taking any of those fucking cleaners or anything.

I spent like $100 worth of stuff to get myself clean.

Really?

For real, I'm not kidding.

About $100 worth of shit to get myself clean.

Well, how'd you buy?

I bought tea.

I bought three different herbal things.

I bought a $30 pill set from the head shop with a lot of water.

Yeah, I'm just going to drink a lot of water.

A lot of water.

Like, I know before I go, I'm just going to, like, you know, time out my piss,

and I'm going to wake up real early that morning and start pissing

and drink a lot of water and, you know, take my test.

I'll be fine because it's been – by the time I take the test, it'll be, like, two months.

Yeah.

And nobody gets caught on two months, hardly.

Well.

And even that two months, that was, like, three weeks of smoking once a week.

Yeah, you just smoke on Thursdays.

Yeah, because I come over here and smoking some Reggie.

You're clean by now.

Yeah, I should be.

You know, I'm going to make for sure.

Yeah, just drink a lot of water just in case.

But, yeah, you'll be fine.

I feel confident in you.

Congratulations.

Me too.

If I could do it, anybody could do it.

Batman testing in Washington.

That's a weird company.

Yeah.

You think they would get sued by D.C. maybe?

Like, you know, you can't really call yourself Batman.

I want to have the Amazing Spider-Man Insurance Company.

Amazing Spider-Man.

Yeah.

The Amazing Spider-Man Insurance Company.

That'd be cool

It would be

It'd be great

So we're gonna take a break

We're gonna be right back

Can I say

I don't know

Two minutes

Five minutes

Play Ryan Dirty

That's not a weed song

Oh this isn't a weed song

What happened to the

You changed it

I had a whole break set up

And shit

And it's gone

Son of a bitch

Well that sucks

Chill

What about chill

Was it chill

No it wasn't that one

It wasn't that one

No chill

That's all weed stuff

Right there too

Aw, damn it, man.

I haven't played that in forever.

The Dan the Automator shit.

That's right.

Eh.

I forgot already.

I played Santeria.

There's so many good songs.

You're going to play something stupid.

I know it.

Watch.

I'll set up the break in a second.

Watch this.

No, I don't want to hear that.

I don't want to hear...

Hang on.

You're not even paying attention.

Shaking all over?

You play that for real?

I played that last week.

I played that last week, son.

I don't pay attention.

Uh-huh.

You're usually up and about, man.

I go take a piss in our bathroom.

I drink a beer.

Is that what it is?

Okay.

That's all part of my plan.

The more beer you drink, the less THC you have in your system.

Yeah, because you're peeing it out.

Yeah, it flushes you out.

You're pissing like a racehorse.

All you got to do is pee, as long as you're pissing and shit.

Yeah, and I drink so much water.

I drink at least a gallon and a half of water a day anyway.

Really?

Yeah, it's healthy.

I drink a gallon and a half of water, and I eat a tube of cookie dough every day.

Are you noticing you're saving a lot of money?

Have you noticed that?

No, I'm not.

No, dude.

Oh, you're broke.

Yeah.

Well, you'd be doing a lot worse right now if you were buying weed for the last month.

Oh, yeah.

How much are you spending, let's say, in a month?

On a month on weed, I'd probably be up around $500 at least.

$500?

And that'd be on my slow month.

Like, the last few months, I was up around $500.

Over the summer, I was probably up around like $700, maybe $800.

Really?

Yeah, I was smoking a lot of weed.

Yeah, I'm saving about $125, I'd say.

On an average month.

Yeah, you smoke fucking Reggie, dude.

I could never do that anymore.

more like i did that when i was a when i was a jet before i knew any better i haven't heard that term

in a long time but i was like 19 or 20 i was smoking reggie but then i moved on and like once

you once you start going to creepy you can't go back to reggie like full time because i remember

like i'll smoke reggie i go in the shower in the morning i turn it on real hot you know i turn the

shower as hot as i could go and let it run on my back and within five minutes i'll spit in a black

and green shit that's what reggie does to you it's disgusting yeah it's got a lot of shit in it

Reggie's garbage

It's got fucking chemicals

All in it

The Mexicans grow it

In fields that get crop dusted

You know

You can't

You can't smoke that stuff

All the time

I don't see how you do it

I mean

You don't smoke that much though

This is supposed to be

The last little bit

That I have left

And I'm gonna quit tonight

Tomorrow

Did Peepers call you?

No I didn't call him

I left him

I'm not gonna bother him

Yeah I wouldn't

I wouldn't

You know

I'd leave a message

If he called me back

Like I said

You know

Ask Eli

I'll ask Eli

I gotta get some money around

Maybe I'll get a big amount

Yeah

But then I think about it, you know what?

It's not yet.

I mean, you're pretty old now.

I am.

Usually most people quit at about our age.

But I started late.

I started when I was 21, 22.

Yeah, I think I started when I was 19.

I didn't smoke in high school.

I didn't smoke either in high school.

I did a lot of caffeine pills.

I remember we used to do caffeine pills.

I'd get fucked up, not crash.

You'd eat a whole bottle.

Yeah, sick.

All right, we'll be right back.

We're going to take a break.

It's 11.58.

We're just short of Friday.

The unofficial kickoff to the weekend.

4-21.

That's the police code for gay sex.

Gay sex.

Thank you.

I knew that was coming.

4-21.

We got a 4-21.

Gay sex with a young black child.

Yeah, so everybody listening, please stand by.

We'll be right back in about five minutes.

Please enjoy music and entertainment, marijuana-related, for the end of 4-20.

You have two minutes left to smoke what you got.

Oh, my God.

It's 11-59.

Anyway, we'll be right back, everybody, after this.

A doctor is slipped to 20.

It's the Onion Radio News.

This is Doyle Redland reporting.

Dr. Ken Schneider was appreciative, but says he was slightly taken aback.

Calls (3, 10 min of 33 min)

Transcript

Comments 0