2006-06-08 Show

following is an exclusive of

PCU Radio and

MadhouseLive.com

Thank you for being

Thank you for being so excited everybody

Thank you all for being so excited

No, no, thank you really. Seriously, no, no

You're too kind

How y'all doing tonight? Carlito here

and I'm going to do a show

It's 10

16 p.m. Eastern Standard

Time on Thursday, June the 8th

and I am here broadcasting

broadcasting out of Florida by myself tonight. I have no co-host next to me tonight, so bear with

me. Man, I'm sorry I'm late, but I was listening to the Arty roast on Howard Stern on Howard 100.

Very good. Very good roast. Very funny. Colin Quinn was very funny on it. For those of you who

do not have Sirius Radio, you missed out. Be sure to get that one day. Man, I don't know. We have

have uh 34 listeners right now i'd like to thank each and every one of you for being with me

tonight and you want to be sure to join us in the chat room if you are not in there already

you can head on to pcuradio.com you can also go to madhouselive.com madhouselive.com is the home

page for this show right now if you also want to join us on the toll-free line the toll-free line

will be open later on today not right now don't try calling it because it's not up and if you try

i'm going to get very pissed off and i'll leave it off permanently whatever the toll-free line is

1-888-278-8509 again our toll-free line you can call us anywhere in the united states

even canada i have a lot of canadian fans 1-888-278-8509 that toll-free line will be open

open later on for everybody to use everybody calling tonight now if you're using aol instant

messenger you want to get a hold of me madhouse radio again that's madhouse radio and we're back

i don't know are we back can someone tell me if you're in the chat room go ahead and tell me if

we're back yet or not or if you're on uh aol you know fuck it i don't even know how far i got into

my whole introduction because um because the fucking stream died fucking great un-fucking

believable. Un-fucking-believable

is all I have to say. Don't get me started

on this shit because I'm tired of the drama

and I'm tired of the bullshit

that goes on in PCU and

I'm tired of all the wah-wah. We're gonna cancel

the stream and I'm not gonna do a

show and I don't like the way you said

this and I gotta ban you from the chatroom

for that and blah blah blah.

I'll tell you what. It is so fucking

disheartening and it's so fucking

boring after a while that I'm

fucking sick and tired of it. Alright?

That's what I have to say about that.

let me let that out since i'm here by myself tonight let me just let something off my chest

about pcu and how sick and tired i am that every month i gotta worry that someone is gonna get

their period uh who's related to uh to the host or something like that in pcu someone's gonna get

their fucking period or be going through pms getting their monthly someone out there is and

and and whatever it's just whatever let things happen as they may i don't know if i'm gonna do

do a show next week okay i don't know if i'm gonna be here next week i don't even fucking know i can't

get a straight answer from kdk about what's gonna happen with pcu so i don't know what to tell you

people tonight i don't know if i can just tell you hey we're gonna be back next week or hey listen

to my own personal stream or hey catch me on some other stream because i can't make plans because

obviously i just have to sit here and limbo while other people decide what's gonna happen with this

stream while kdk decides if he's gonna sponsor it and run a rotation and while lego figures out

if he's going to keep it going on his own end with his own rotation.

So I wish I had something to tell you all.

I wish I had something to tell you all about what's going on with my show.

But I don't.

I wouldn't do my fans wrong like that.

I wouldn't do the people who listen to my show on a weekly basis like that.

But I have no choice.

So be sure to keep in touch with me at MadHouseLive.com

because any announcements are going to come through there.

Or go to PCRadio.com if you want.

If you really want to do that, you can go ahead and do that too.

And yeah, I'll keep you guys as posted as I can.

matter of fact everybody if i am gone next week since i don't have a straight answer whether or

not i'm going to be here next week everybody go to in the event that i can't be on this station

this stream that you're listening to right now be sure to bookmark pcu.audio-stream.com

and that way that's my personal stream and about 20 20 of you will be able to hear it

but i've received offers from people who can give me 20 slots here and 20 slots there and 15 slots

here so i'm thinking in worst worst case comes the worst i'll make a web page with a bunch of

different places where you might be able to get a spot and listen to my show worst comes the worst

that's it and best case scenario then we may have to worry about it but whatever excuse me a minute

i say go to the chat room and see what people are saying uh no more zarkawi who's poop tells me that

the stream didn't die for him well my stream stayed up mine did the pcu stream went down but

mine didn't mine didn't go down um my man says uh right at the start of the show music is when i

got cut off right when we heard your voice it got cut off so all the shit i said at the beginning

of the show was all for nothing because the pc stream went down okay understood thank you

everybody for sharing that with me i sat here for about three minutes and talked shit for nothing

we got tons of numbers in the chat room uh from lonesome loser who is uh a very good person when

a good source i should say when it was a good person too but he's a good source for uh numbers

for us to call and prank call um let me throw some out here for y'all listen to and you let

let me know on your end of what you want me to call. Uh, we got a restaurant, apparently an

Indian restaurant, possibly yak and Yeti. This is in Colorado. It is, uh, 8 24 PM there. So we'd

have to call that pretty soon. Uh, we've got a location called hell's kitchen in New York. We

have the Simpson dairy bar this year. I would like to call tonight, the Sesame street lounge

in Tennessee, a black guy answered at nine Oh two, a black guy answered at nine Oh 2 PM at the

The Sesame Street Lounge in Tennessee.

Only in America.

Han Phuc Jewelry Store.

We got a few Vietnamese here.

Dak Phuc Restaurant.

Phuc and Duong.

We got the King Kong Barbecue Restaurant.

We got a restaurant also named as Monkey King.

We've got the Dirty Dog Tavern.

We got Uncle Tom's Cabin.

Uncle Tom's Cabin.

Uncle Tom's Broasted Chicken and Pizza.

This is in Arizona.

Uncle Tom, if you didn't know, guess what?

That's the name for a sellout black guy.

It's a book and a movie.

Check it out.

Required reading here in Florida.

In our Cracker Jack high school system.

We also have Stinky Trash Guys, Stinky Butts Graphics, Mighty Mouse Internet Cafe.

We got a few Walmarts.

We got a few TGI Fridays.

We got a few Wendy's.

We got three Circle K's.

Three circle K's.

That's KKK.

From Lonesome Loser with his subliminal racist comments.

He's a white supremacist, everybody.

Lonesome Loser.

Good man, though.

Good man.

Find it.

Ooh, a Curbs.

Curbs is that women-only gym.

I don't think that's fair.

I don't think women should have their own damn gym.

Men can't have their own damn gym unless they're gay.

Straight men can't have their own gym.

If they do, then they're gay, right?

We have the YMCA.

And women are allowed on the YMCA.

Apparently, I found out last week and there's a YWCA.

YWCA huh a YWCA a Young Women's Christian Association whatever but apparently men can't

join that but seriously guys check out that book Uncle Tom's Cabin good book um people asking when

can they call in give me a second uh Joop's asking can we still use your stream like next week yeah

sure you can use my stream tonight you can use it next week whenever you want to homeboy um Dirk

McGurk states hey I was wondering if you could prank this old pervert that lives a flute a flute

ha that's one a few blocks next to me he's a registered sex offender and everything

and even tried to pick up some kids from my school a while ago nice his number is blah at first he'll

probably deny it but he's gonna get really mad and start screaming it's hilarious here's some

dirt to make him even funnier and i've got dirt well thanks dirk mcgurk for the dirt we'll probably

to call him in a little bit um no more zarkawi who's uh i guess he's celebrating the death of

uh zarkawi who was the uh leader of al-qaeda in iraq in iraq apparently about 20 hours ago he

got bombed us usa usa a fucking voice here so anyway we've got um dr lego online dr lego say

Say hi.

Hi.

How are you?

All right.

How are you doing?

Ah, breathing's got a pulse.

All right.

So what brings you...

What brings...

This is the plant.

Okay, what...

What brings...

What?

I gotta tell you something.

Yes.

It was like a fucking hook.

Okay.

I wanted to share that with you because it was, you know, it was, you know, pretty, like,

I was like, I was like, damn, what the fuck are you taking?

So your dick was on crack today.

You know what I'm saying.

How'd you feel?

So listen, man.

Yeah.

You know, what are you getting all, like, fucking, you know, emotional and shit?

I'm not getting emotional, just letting some steam off. That's all it is, man. I got a right to do that if I want.

Yeah, that's your show. You can do that.

I'm just saying, man, I never said I'm taking the stream down.

Oh, that's good. Good news.

Yeah, no, dude, if KDK wants to fucking close shop, that's up to KDK.

So we're going to have a rotation on one? Is this going to be a dead stream during the day?

Yeah, I mean, dude, I'm going to need some help from people, but...

No, dude, this stream will not be dead. I'll fucking kick up a box and make a rotation.

We've got to do something, man.

If I had a, I could just, you know, if I could do it, I could.

I need another computer.

You know what, I could do it.

I don't mind doing it.

I just need material because, you know, I need people to help me compile material.

But, you know, I'll be honest, I don't think KDK is going to do that.

I think he's just, you know, he's a little fucking freaked, you know, right now

because, you know, I guess, you know, it's the summertime

and not as many people might be listening right now.

Now people, you know, go away and this and that, you know, the finals coming up.

I mean, whatever it is, whatever people are doing, they're doing.

So, you know, why is he freaking out, dude?

And why are you freaking out?

Don't be freaking out.

It felt good.

I don't know.

It felt good.

It felt good to do it.

It felt good to say it.

I can't say anything else.

That was you?

Yeah.

All right.

Well, yeah, I just felt kind of bad, so I had to call in and tell you that.

I'm not going to stay on and, like, fuck up your show.

I just...

No, no, you're not fucking up anything, man.

I just wanted to let everybody out there know that I have no intention of ending this stream.

Well, very good.

That's very important of you to say.

It's very needed right now.

Would you like to do a prank call, or do you not care to do that?

I don't know.

What do you want to call?

Let's see.

Curves.

Do you have Curves up there in New York, man?

Do you know what a Curves is?

Curves, it's like a fat woman's gym?

Yeah, pretty much.

Yeah, it's fucked up that they get their own gym, you know?

I was just bitching about that a second ago.

Oh.

All right.

Let's do it.

All right, let's do that.

What's up with the prank?

Okay, try to get in.

And then accuse her, you know, accuse her shenanigans.

Like, what the hell, you know?

What does she think she is?

That's what you're going to do.

All right, hang on, everybody.

Lego with a prank.

Yay.

Okay, you want to call Uncle Tom's cabin?

The person you are calling is not answering.

Please try your call again later.

87-4.

All right, hang on.

Please enter the number you wish to call.

Hey, hey, hey, how you doing?

You too?

Hey, hey, hey, how you doing?

Doing good, doing good, what's up?

This is Fat Albert.

Okay.

I just ate some Uncle Tom's.

It didn't taste that good.

Okay.

I ate your book.

I bought your book to make some recipes.

Oh, actually, I can help you, man.

It was about some sellout nigga.

Come on, Fat Albert, don't play.

That sounds good.

Yo, I'm gonna go down there and eat all your food.

Oh, no.

Go ahead, it sucked.

Go ahead, let him go say it.

I don't think it sucked.

I just, I thought I was doing a prank.

Alright.

You kind of just like fucking like, you know, like, walk right over.

That's how I roll.

Hang on, I'll give you the other Uncle Tom's cabin.

How's that?

Alright.

Alright, what are you saying now, Lego?

That the rain in Spain is gay.

I'm sorry I'm bringing you down, man.

It's a bad show.

No, you're not.

You're not bringing me down at all, man.

You know, after last night, I can understand.

Yeah.

Yeah, man.

Did you ever call KDK back last night?

I fell asleep after I called him again.

I was like, whatever.

I give KDK the finger.

I didn't fucking call him.

Well, maybe I did.

I don't even know.

You did something, I think.

Yeah, I don't know.

I was so upset.

I was going to fuck him in the ass, and I didn't.

Really?

You just got out of the mood?

Yeah, I just fucking couldn't take it anymore.

Yeah.

Sorry to hear that, man.

One meg ohm.

You know how to read resistors?

I'm learning, actually, yeah.

What color is the black and the brown?

I can't understand.

Oh, I couldn't tell you, I wouldn't know.

I don't know.

My inventory of that stuff, that's about it.

I need to, I need a one mega ohm.

What's this for?

You'd think they'd fucking tell you, these cocksuckers.

I'm building, I'm building a, uh, for my car.

Okay.

You know?

Yeah.

And people gotta fucking tell me what the right shit is here.

Yeah.

Everybody's a critic.

Hey, whoa, ho, ho, it's, you know?

Yeah, buddy.

I don't know how you're gonna...

I'm, I'm, I'm gonna move on, Lego, unless you, I mean...

Yeah, no, I'm not good, and, and I'm fucking up the shelf.

I fucked up the show.

The phone's not working.

You know?

What can I do?

I don't know.

I'm going to listen to you, though.

I'm out here listening.

All right.

Well, thanks, Lego man.

Appreciate it.

If I get a call back.

All right.

Tell a friend or two, okay?

And three.

All right.

Thanks.

Goodbye.

Dr. Lego, everybody.

Dr. Lego.

I don't know what's wrong with the phone.

Maybe it's just my mood.

Maybe that's what the problem is.

But it's not working that good.

This goes up for poop in the chatroom.

For some reason, he loves hearing racist music, and he sent this to me to play.

We'll do that while I make the next prank call.

Hang on, everybody.

Thomas, bro, it's the chicken.

How you doing?

Good, all right.

Hey, this is Albert.

How you doing, Albert?

Good.

What's your biggest bucket of chicken?

Depends on what chicken you're looking for.

Are you looking for regular chicken or wings?

No, I want regular big drumsticks.

Well, we got a 48-piece chicken, which is like four chickens.

Yeah, and I get just drumsticks with that?

They're the easiest to eat?

No, actually, it's whole chickens.

I strip them in one bite.

All you got is one whole chickens?

We do whole chickens, yeah.

Hey, I like that idea.

Can I come down there and get the 48 piece?

Come on down.

Hey, that's great.

I don't play no more.

Thank you.

And I'm not playing with you.

Okay.

Don't make me play down there.

Okay.

I'll play with the chicken in front of everybody.

I make him tap dance.

Hold on a second here.

How you doing, officer?

How are you, sir?

Hey, I'll make the naked chickens dance on top of the counter.

And I'll make him do the kicks.

Okay.

Then I stuff him with the giblets.

I give him the giblets, you know what I mean?

Okay, buddy, what do you want us to do?

Hey, hey, hey, come on.

Let's do the giblets tonight.

I ain't got no giblets.

I'm going to give you some.

Is this a legitimate phone call, sir?

Yeah, I have my giblets ready for your chicken.

Did you pluck all your feathers out this morning?

That was kind of funny.

Yeah, kind of disturbing.

Imagine Fat Albert making naked chickens dance.

dance. Nunu has sent me

and, you know, Nunu's got a big fucking mouth

on him, too. He's a fucking little bastard

sometimes. Get a little tired of Nunu's attitude.

Knock it off. Um, Poop

in the chat room has sent in several numbers

tonight, as usual. Excuse me, as

usual. Under the guise that he has

tonight, no more Zarqawi. What has

he sent exactly? Uh,

Raymond and Sherry and Magalano,

Alagunda Kike,

Faradago, Doto,

I don't know what happened. Some kid named Bobby

who's a dumb chink, he says,

and a nigger mart there's no nigger mart man that's fake he says there's a nigger mart in

elizabethan tennessee my ass that's nigger mart man there's no such thing as a nigger mart no

one would ever make a business called nigger mart i don't care if it's tennessee or what

anyway uh nunu is really wanting me to call some retirement home you know what fuck nunu

fuck you up your ass don't listen anymore you'll be an asshole uh saigon is telling me to do

something that i don't want to do so we're gonna close this window off because i don't i don't

listen to saigon fuck saigon um and again poo poo really reiterates yeah there is type in nigger

okay whatever you say it's all fake all fake baby what else do we have for lonesome loser we got

walmart walmart walmart walmart we tried the curves didn't work we got tga friday's wendy's

circle K what do I do who do I call okay let's call the let's call the King Kong

a barbecue restaurant let's call the King Kong barbecue

restaurant and this is in Oakland California and there's some Asian guy

working the grill tonight they're right back after this okay hello guys is the

King Kong restaurant restaurant please yeah this is King Kong restaurant what do you

want I want to make an order please why you yelling so loud stupid but the

Well, the kitchen is loud. What do you want?

Why are you yelling at me? I haven't even placed my order yet, man.

Why are you yelling?

You want to order the food?

Calm down. Just slow it down, okay? Slow it down.

Oh, yeah, okay.

Take it easy. Can you walk away or something from the loud noise you're yelling at me?

You're making me nervous, okay?

What do you want?

I want two orders of chicken.

Huh?

I want two chickens.

What kind of chicken do you want?

Barbecue chicken. What do you think?

Barbecue chicken?

Yes.

You don't have a barbecue chicken.

What do you have?

Oh, we have the steamed chicken.

Steamed chicken? You steam a chicken?

Yeah.

What are you, stupid? What does that taste like?

Steamed chicken, you know, like with the ginger.

You put ginger? That's not barbecue, man.

Yeah, I know. I said today we don't have the barbecue chicken. Today it's all gone.

I don't want. It's all gone?

Uh-huh.

Well, can't you make me some? Don't you have any barbecue sauce?

Oh, no. We don't have any more. Oh, God. No, no, no chicken. No barbecue chicken.

Give me the barbecue sauce only. I just want to drink it.

Oh, you want to drink it? We don't have that now.

The barbecue sauce?

Yeah. We don't have barbecue sauce.

Oh, come on. You have some in the cooler. I know you do. Come on.

Yeah. We have the soy sauce. We don't have a barbecue sauce. I don't know what kind of barbecue sauce you want.

When you want it, you just come in and see what kind of food you and then you take it out. Okay?

What do you do with the dripping from the chicken?

I don't understand too many.

I speak Chinese, so I'm upset.

Okay, chicken make an oven, drip oil, right?

I don't know.

Can you come in and take a seat of food?

And then what do you want?

Just let me know, like that?

Can you leave?

I don't want to see you down there if I go down there.

Because you make me upset.

You're yelling at me.

You're very rude.

Bad person, bad.

You understand bad?

I don't know, sorry.

You don't understand bad?

I don't understand.

You're from China?

Yeah, I'm from China.

Where are you from in China?

I'm from China, yeah.

Where in China? What city? What city?

Oh, I don't know what city.

You don't know what city you're from?

Yeah, I don't know.

Do you have a mother?

Excuse me, what kind of food you want?

Where's your mother at?

Oh, no, I don't understand. You want the food, you just call me.

Sorry, I'm cut down because I have customers here.

Okay, go to the bathroom. Can I go to the bathroom?

room whatever man i don't understand why that guy is so weird and why he has to yell when he talks

i don't understand everybody i really don't fucking understand that why do people yell why

do people live their life yelling like i was earlier okay please enter the number you wish

to call i'll do that it's called monkey king well that didn't work but that sucks okay moving right

along what else can we do i can turn on the toll-free line so people can call i can turn on

on the toll-free line so people can call the toll-free line is 1-888-278-8509 again the toll

free line here to reach me not us because my co-host actually i have an announcement to make

andy is not going to be leaving until august or something like that he's going to be back next

week and then a workout for him up there is going to go to a school that's closer and he's just

visiting family for the week so andy will be back next week earth ducks is call andy in illinois you

know i don't have i don't have his number and i he said he was gonna call in but i think i forgot

to give him the toll-free number to call so that really sucks unless he gets internet access he

might be trying right now and the phone's fucking busy holy shit let me turn that back on then

again the toll-free line is 1-888-278-8509 that will be available soon now if you're using aol

AOL Instant Messenger, you can reach me at Madhouse Radio.

Again, AOL Instant Messenger users, Madhouse Radio.

If you're using Yahoo Messenger, you want to hit me up at Madhouse PCU Radio.

Again, that's Madhouse PCU Radio.

The homepage for this show is MadhouseLive.com.

Also, be sure to listen PCU Radio.com.

You can join our chatroom on both of those.

PCURadio.com, MadhouseLive.com.

Join our chatroom, why don't you?

Talk to the very good fans that I have.

Yeah, the toll-free line is now officially open.

The lines are now open, everybody.

Go call in.

And if you'd like to email me if you don't have access to a messaging shit thing.

Look at that.

Two seconds and it's already fucking pressure again.

What do I do with the phone?

Good evening, you're in the madhouse.

Go ahead.

Come on, it's home, motherfucker.

I was just going in to say hey, Carlito.

Hey, man.

How are you doing tonight?

The fuck's up, man?

Nothing, man.

I'm just here clowning.

I agree with you and I agree with Lego.

Yeah.

What did Lego say?

Because, actually, honestly, I wasn't paying attention when he was calling.

You what?

I wasn't paying attention much to Lego when he was calling.

I was doing, like, something in the background.

That's why I sounded so out of it in nonchalant when he was trying to talk to me.

I wasn't actually...

I was trying to pay attention.

It's not that I didn't want to pay attention,

but something really serious was going on with the stream,

and I had to fix it before I got kicked out, so...

Yeah, I noticed you lost it earlier, too.

Yeah.

Yeah, I did, and that really pissed me off,

because I had a good-sounding intro and everything,

and sure enough, that happens.

and just, yeah, yeah, mess.

They're going to win.

Yeah, he'll be back tomorrow.

I turned the mic down.

And he's not going to be doing the trucker school,

so he's going to be back next week.

Isn't that great?

Mother trucker, yeah, he,

I don't know if I should drop his story,

but I think I will.

Matter of fact, what happened with him,

the truth is, he checked the place out

right before he left,

and they had like 40-some complaints

with a better business bureau and shit like that.

It was like a scam school,

so he decided, he opted not to go up there, apparently.

That's what happened, so good for him.

He didn't complain.

Yeah, and he said last week, he said a lot of these places are scams, so apparently that's what the shit was, man.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, so he's going to go out and visit his family, and he'll be back, so that's great.

Oh, that's cool.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But, uh, yeah, fuck a scam.

I got caught up in one of those.

My cousin hooked me up with him.

Yeah?

It was, like, exactly what they did still to the day.

I was up there for, like, an orientation, and they were like, we need $250 for your licensing fee.

Oh, bullshit.

I'm like, all right, fuck you.

Yeah, exactly.

You know

What license

I don't even know

What you're selling

Man you know

You know what pisses me off

I get

Like when I was unemployed

Recently and shit

You go to these

Interviews sometimes man

You get there and they're like

I honestly went to one

Where this guy

Seriously wanted us to

Sell imposter

Cologne and perfume

In businesses

Like actually

Going to businesses

And the people

Like working at the

Regular job in an office

Going in there

And trying to sell them

Stuff while they're working

I'm like man

You're fucking crazy

And like it's like

Yeah and you know

All it takes is a hundred dollars

And if you make it your first six weeks and you get enough sales, you get your own office.

I'm like, man, fuck you.

Was he black?

No, he was a wigger, I would say.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, and he had some other girl who was like the office manager.

No, no, she was like a secretary.

And she was like a regular white girl.

Sounds a little nigger.

It does.

You know, I went there and they were listening to the Urban Station on the radio when I was filling out their resume.

And that kind of threw me off right there.

Honestly, that right there kind of threw me off.

Yeah, there goes the detour sign in the interview.

Yeah, well, honestly, I swear to God, I sat down and this other girl sat down next to me.

You know, she came in right after me.

And she's like, fuck, they had this boombox playing, like, the rap stage.

Nothing wrong, I listen to rap music, but very loud.

And she turned it down.

She's like, I'm going to turn this down because I can't feel what's out.

I can't hear myself think.

And then the woman got mad at her and told her to go ahead and leave.

I was like, okay.

And then she came out and she turned it back up.

I was like, okay.

Totally unprofessional, but I work in an unprofessional environment right now myself.

You know that Mad Hatter dude that you called Monday?

Yeah, that was a trip.

I called him, like, I guess it was last night.

I told him I was pushing myself across the country in a wheelchair.

Found his number in high time.

Uh-huh.

Top 100.

He's like, wow, I'm kind of semi-famous then, huh?

I had him going on that, and then I told him I was coming through town where he lives,

if he could hook me up with some weed.

Yeah?

He was like, no, but my friends could.

Oh, shit.

Are you serious?

Yeah.

What a fucking dork, man.

It's funny.

He's weird, man.

I had him on the line for 26 minutes.

Is that like some kind of gaming clan he's in that's called that, or does he really think

he's a zombie hunter or something?

He really thinks he's a zombie killer, I think.

Wow.

Because he was all, I was like, well, what the hell you do?

Zombie killer.

Okay.

Too much answer for you.

Reading a lot of comic books, that guy is.

Jesus Christ.

I think they play D&D.

Oh, is that what it is?

Okay.

Him and his buddies.

Oh, yeah, so his character's probably something like that.

Yeah, I had a group of them here at the university they go to.

When I first started going, they would meet every Wednesday.

They had their own little club.

There were like 30 of them out there, all dressed in black with capes and stuff on.

It was just the weirdest thing, man.

They're like sitting there like, you know, a four-year university.

It's an accredited university.

And they're like, I'm like, what the hell, man?

I mean, Dragon's just playing game stuff.

It's just so weird.

You remember that vampire shit that came out?

You remember that?

When I was in high school, when I was leaving high school, when I was about to graduate, that became big, like, Vampire the Gathering.

I didn't understand, but there was that, and there was something else, too.

Wasn't there some werewolf? I don't know.

There was a vampire one, like all the Marilyn Manson kids were liking that shit.

So, anyway, how's the old lady doing, man?

We'll tell her I said what's up.

She's probably listening anyway, so.

All right, man, well, thanks for checking in.

I'll tell Andy you said hi.

All right.

All right, man, we'll catch you next week.

All right, man.

It is cloned homegrown, the one and only, from, uh, oh, shit.

Either Dallas or Houston.

I think it's Dallas.

I don't know.

Whatever.

Thank you for calling in.

And his line is now open.

You can join us at 1-888-278-8509.

Again, the toll-free line is 1-888-278-8509.

Lonesome Loser has sent in some more numbers.

We got Dragon Slayers Limited, Flintstone Portable Mini Storage in Powers, Oregon.

Oregon. Something sets me off about that name, Oregon. I hate that. I would hate to live in a

state with the name Oregon. It's just sick. It's not natural, man. I don't get it. Why you'd want

to live in a place called... It's too close to Oregon. Organs. It's so perverted sounding. My

organs, everybody. We could try a Walmart. Mighty Mouse. Let's call the Mighty Mouse Internet Cafe.

Hey, Lost and Loser, real quick, I'll call out to you. If you can try to get me the number for

For our Dunkin' Donuts guy in Michigan real quick, I'd like to try to give him a call.

I don't want him to catch us flipping like he did last week.

I hope you're listening.

If not, I'll send you a message.

We'll be right back with the next prank call in the 90s.

Is this Dragon Slayers?

No, he doesn't live here anymore.

Who is this?

Who is the Dragon Slayer, man?

Is this?

Dude, who is the Dragon Slayer, man?

Hold on, please.

Andy.

What's up, man?

I'm looking for the Dragon Slayer, man.

I need a Dragon Slayer.

I got your card.

It says Dragon Slayer is limited.

minute, dude, I totally need a dragon slayer. Huh, where'd you get the card at? I got it

over here, it was on the third stall at the Burger King. Really? The Burger King is closed.

Well, no, I got it earlier, dude. It's been closed for like three years. No, not the one

here in town, man. The one in Portland. The one in Portland, huh? Yes. Well, I've never

been to Portland, so I don't know how you got my card. Well, someone's been spreading

the word, maybe it's his fate, but dude, I need a dragon slayer. Huh, well, yeah, I

I have no information about dragon slayers, so I don't know what to tell you.

Well, I'll pay you all the money you need, dude, and provide whatever you want, but we totally gotta get rid of this dragon, man.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, this Komodo dragon, man. The feds are after me for it, man. We gotta take him out.

Really?

Yeah, man. The feds are on their way now. They said something about animal cruelty.

Really?

Yeah, I gotta get rid of this Komodo dragon, dude. Come on.

Huh.

Dude, slay him. Dude, totally slay him.

So how'd you get this number?

Do you use daggers or what exactly?

Well, I don't know what you're doing, but I'd appreciate it if you don't call her again.

Dude, come on. Just kill the dragon, man.

Alright, thanks for not calling her again.

I will. Don't make me get my friend Eddie to call you, man.

They say he looks a lot like me, with dark hair and dark skin.

Well, I'd appreciate it if you don't call her again.

Well, dude, it's got this $5 off coupon, man.

It's written on the back with magic marker.

Okay, whatever that was.

Apparently, I did lose a connection to the chatroom.

not to the chat room, I lost connection to the

PCU stream. So let me reconnect

that, just one moment. Yeah, well, okay.

And we're back. Great.

I don't know how much of that call

actually went out, but apparently I lost

the stream in the middle of that, and that

sucks. Sorry, everybody. I don't

know if you got to hear all that.

Madman's asking if I already finished. No, I'm back on

the stream now. I think I am.

Molson Loser has sent

me the number for the Dunkin' Donuts

of the crazy

Arab guy. That really sucks.

I wonder how much of that call y'all got to hear.

It was pretty good, actually.

It wasn't that bad.

I don't know.

In the chatroom, at least tell me how far it got.

Appreciate it.

Thanks.

Love you guys for everything you do.

Okay.

So apparently, yeah, the PCU stream has gone down twice tonight.

Maybe KDK, you can take a look at that, or LEGO or something like that if you're listening.

Huh?

Why not be pals and take a look at that and see who it is that's causing that tonight?

That'd be interesting to find out.

Jerky murky!

Anyway.

So the toll free line is open

1-888-278-8509

And I'm going to call the Dunkin Donuts in Michigan

Famous guy here in the madhouse

We'll be right back with that

What happened?

Power went out

You had a power shit

I had the think tech on the line

And power went out

I was just in like

In complete darkness

I was like dude the power just went out

I was like really?

I was like yeah

So I had to

You must have been getting power surges before

When you got cut off

There's nothing wrong with the server

I don't think there is

I don't think so

Yeah

I think it's

I think it's the, you know, I think it's the Orlando Power Authority or some shit.

Yeah, I'm looking at it.

It doesn't look like it's storming.

It's just probably something.

I don't know.

Last week I got cut off because the internet went down,

and I lost, like, ten listeners in that whole bullshit.

This sucks, man.

Wow, I got 23 listeners on PCU.

Thanks, everybody.

I hate that.

Yeah, it sucks.

It sucks.

That was grooving.

What can you do, man?

What can you do?

Hey, it's only going to get better.

Yeah, I guess so.

All right.

Well, I just want to make sure you're all right,

Because, you know, it's like you were, like, gone, and I'm sitting here building a fuzz box.

I figured out the resistor problem.

Oh, you did?

Good.

Yeah.

Good.

I'm glad that worked out.

What are you using, the brown one?

Brown 25.

25 amp?

Yeah, 25k, bro.

What are you talking amps?

I don't know.

The resistor, man.

Resistor is not amp.

It's k.

K.

Ks, all right.

All right.

Then, you know, your fucking capacitors are microfarads.

Do you know that?

I do know that.

You ever take a resistor and plug it into a light socket?

No, I can't say I have.

What's it do?

Yeah, it's fun, man.

They fucking explode.

It's cool.

Nice, nice, nice.

All right, so I'm glad you're back.

I just wanted to make sure you were all right.

Yes, thank you for being concerned, and thank you for having me, Lego.

No, it's all right, man.

All right, so fucking go out, man.

Fucking prank the world.

Do your thing.

Pranktheworld.com.

Yeah, something like that.

Is it .net?

Is that what it is?

It's kimstits.com.

I just lost the stream again, dude.

Come on.

I did.

I seriously did.

What's going on?

I don't know.

I just lost the stream again.

I can't even connect to it.

Is your cable company crapping out?

No, I'm fine.

Everything's connected.

I got the laptop and everything's connected.

Let me try it again here.

I don't know what the fuck's going on.

That's weird.

You want me to restart the server?

I think it's all right.

I don't know.

I might just wrap it up soon, I guess.

If it's not working.

I don't know.

We'll see what happens.

All right, dude.

All right.

Well, thanks, man.

Thanks for calling, dude.

Bye.

got it. There. That was a reserved

call from Dr. Lego. Dr. Lego checking

in to see what was wrong. Yeah, I got a power outage.

Sorry, everybody. Don't know how much of that

y'all heard, but yeah, I

keep getting kicked off the PCU stream.

My stream is fine. It's not getting kicked out, but

the PCU stream keeps kicking off,

so I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do,

man. It's like it's

ending already early. Already

ending early. All my listeners are gone.

Man, that's just... That's just

fucking great. A call out to Lonesome

Loser. Dude, if you're out there, I need

Need the numbers that you sent me tonight.

Need the numbers.

Need the numbers because I lost them in the process of losing my power.

So there it is.

Hopefully we can stay on the stream tonight.

I don't know if it's going to happen.

It might just lose again.

Tell you what, if it goes out again, I'm going to end the show.

I'm not even going to try to come back on.

We'll either come on tomorrow.

I'll either, I should say I.

We'll either come on tomorrow, Saturday, or Sunday, or something like that.

We shall see.

So everybody relax.

Do not panic.

Play some music.

Columbia, Columbia.

There we go.

Okay, well, when Lonesome Loser gets back to us...

There we go.

The numbers are coming in.

Yay, Humpy's Great Alaskan Ale House.

Nice.

Applebee's Neighborhood Grill and Bar.

Coon Rapids.

Oh, we called that place on Monday.

That was funny.

I remember that now.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Ha, ha, ha.

That was a great Blockbuster video in Coon Rapids.

Let me call the Applebee's again.

Let me call that last week.

Hang on, everybody.

Let's call it a night.

It's coming right up.

Okay, you know what, guys?

This isn't going to work tonight.

Sorry.

I'm not feeling it.

And there are too many technical difficulties and too many assholes and too much shit.

And I'm not going to go through it tonight.

I'm not going to put you through it.

So I'm going to call it a night.

I'm going to end the show.

So anybody else who wants to go on, go on.

You have my permission.

In the meantime, I'd like to thank everybody who was participating today.

I'd like to thank everybody who sent in numbers.

and yeah

Joop is

parting shout outs here

Joop is asking

are the monkey phone boys

allowed to use my stream next week

sure go ahead

sure you can

you can definitely do that

Mad Men says

he's having trouble with the stream

because the stream

isn't working very well today

for whatever reason

I would like to thank

Lonesome Loser

for helping out

with sending in numbers tonight

I think we had like

one or two good prank calls tonight

didn't get to

get to get into anything

that I wanted to

but honestly

Honestly, it's not working out.

Maybe I'll do another show to make up for it.

But right now, like I said, I'm going to call it quits for the night.

Quit while I'm ahead.

Yeah, so thank you for everybody who called in.

Thank you for everybody who listened.

And we're going to head out.

We'll catch you here hopefully next week.

I wish I had an answer for you, but apparently I don't.

So we'll see what KDK decides is going to happen with me.

And his drama, as always, getting in the way.

Who the fuck is this dude?

I don't know.

Who the fuck is this dude?

I just gave it to him today.

He didn't even interrupt me.

Who the fuck is this dude?

Man, I can't kill a tree, man.

We're going to straight beat your butt, buddy.

I'm going to get a butt?

Nah, man.

Who the fuck is this?

Oh, God.

Man, this is gay, man.

Herbert, you just don't know who you is, dude.

Who the fuck is this?

Who the fuck is Herbert?

He don't have a dick.

Who the fuck is like this?

Man, he scaring me.

I don't know.

I ain't get my number.

I got your dirty laundry.

I got your dirty laundry over here.

Dude, who is it?

Hold on.

On my face.

I want to ask you what I'm saying.

Elk at my house.

Fucked up on one person right here and that fucker for the rest.

Can't stay in your car.

You like listening to block numbers.

I ain't no block number.

No conversation.

Don't make me call the police.

Yeah, you know what's up.

Yeah, I got you.

I'm going to blackmail you.

So scared.

God, turkey ass motherfucker.

What's your problem now?

Drive turkey, you bitch.

You didn't hear it, boy.

You drive turkey motherfucker.

Who are you speaking to, Sean? What do you need?

Man, you can show me a place, dude.

I'm about to go whoop some motherfuckers ass

because I don't even know who the fuck you're talking about.

How much are you going to charge?

You got to pick somebody up over here to attack his ass.

Man, this ain't no motherfucking tactic, man.

I'm telling you, I'm fucking picking somebody up.

I'm going to whoop his goddamn ass.

I kicked the ass of Sean on the bed, dude, and your goddamn mother.

What?

Your mother.

You motherfucking nigga, how you like that?

You piece of shit.

I'm not a fucking nigga.

I'm a bitch.

You nigga motherfucker.

higher than that, don't mind.

What?

Man, I'm a motherfucking

sister of the goddamn phone.

This is a white man

that don't want to hear

from no goddamn niggas

calling me in the fucking

middle of the night.

Listen, listen, boy.

Listen, boy.

I'll show you a boy

in a 12-gauge shotgun,

motherfucker.

Listen, cracker.

He's gonna have three letters.

Listen here, cracker.

You got that, cracker?

I'll show you some

fucking three-letter,

motherfucker.

I'll see you here.

Are you Michael Frazier?

Man, this ain't Michael Frazier, man.

This is a white man.

Look, let me just ask you

real quick first of all um when you shut the hell why don't you shut the hell up you

stupid please enjoy what you're doing man in in hallelujah

give you a couple hundred dollars though are you ready i wish i was the governor just pretend i'm

sitting on you okay no problem okay i don't go ah oh yeah oh i gotta go please do wash your hands

Yeah, some kind of life you have where you have to do this stuff.

So this is a very interesting radio you have.

Very interesting radio thing if you have that, you know,

because it just shows me that you have, like, nothing going.

No, I got a plan.

This is what we do, man.

I do this all the time.

This is what you do, like, you know what I mean?

Talk stupid.

Yeah, yeah.

Really, huh?

People actually listen to this shit.

Everybody listens to this shit.

Not everybody, because anybody with a half a brain that I know don't listen.

Anybody with a half a brain would listen to this show instead of eating your shitty-ass pizza.

How old are you?

13.

Yeah, fucking right.

You sound like you're fucking 18 or 19.

I'm 13, I said.

Yeah, right.

Yes, I was born 13 years ago, last Friday.

Yeah.

I'm hanging up, and you better not call.

Do you have stripes in your underwear?

Do I have what?

Stripes in your underwear.

You are a sick fuck.

Come on, let me talk to your sister, man.

Be a pal.

No!

Have you ever seen your sister naked?

No!

Calls (7, 16 min of 52 min)

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