2006-07-20 Show

You are listening to a replay of Madhouse Radio.

Well, I think you should fucking hang up

or I'm going to find out who you are and punch your fucking face in.

How's that?

Be sure to visit us online at madhouselive.com.

today is thursday god which one

when he decides to announce his ability the law sees bad don't knock him off

we're at the republic my friend this could be the best thing that ever happened

Those who believe life here began out there, across the universe.

Tribes of humans who may have been the forefathers of the Egyptians,

Baltics, or the Mayans.

They have been the architects of the great pyramids.

Lost civilizations of Lemuria, Atlantis.

Some believe that there may yet be brothers of man

who even now fight to survive somewhere beyond the heavens.

Grab a blunt, take a big hit, sit back, and enjoy the ride.

The following is an exclusive of PCU Radio and MadhouseLive.com.

Flight controllers, send up.

Give me a go, no go for launch.

Booster, go.

Go.

Vital.

Bye.

Guidance.

Guidance, go.

Surgeon.

Go, boy.

Go.

We're go, fly.

GNC.

We're go.

Tell me.

Go.

Control.

Go.

Info.

Go.

We are go.

Network.

Go.

Free.

Go.

Capcom.

We're go, fly.

Launch control.

This is Houston. We are going for lunch.

Detain!

I know drug real from real.

Chris, I take this today.

First of all, um...

Why don't you shut the hell... Why don't you shut the hell up?

Fuck you! Fuck you!

The baby is only a little crazy.

Like painters or composers or...

Or some of those men in Washington.

Who are you, mother of...

Son of a bitch, speak English, America.

You son of a bitch, you mother fucking...

You are...

I'm not speaking Spanish.

What the fuck do you want?

No, you speak... You speak...

I see.

You motherfucking

I go ahead, man

Mother bitch

Motherfucking you

You bitch

Don't never

I punch you in the mouth

Don't ever call again

Boy, man

No, my lord

You motherfucking

Why are you so angry?

Where's my squad at?

Fuck you, man

We're so high right now

We're not low

Smoke weed every day

And gentle

The weird

You're now listening to Bizarre Soul Circus

It's the future

My man's about to get it cracking for y'all

Everybody put your motherfucking hands up

It's the nigga with the shower cap

Hey, good evening everybody.

Welcome to another fabulous episode of Madhouse Radio.

And you're listening to me, Carlito.

And with me here is Andy. How are you?

I'm super.

Alright, welcome back.

Thank you for asking.

I'm doing a lot better this week, so we're doing a show.

And that's what we're going to do.

We're going to be trying to do a show today with Skype.

guy because i don't have a working phone line right now at home so i tested it earlier tonight

i did a test run of it a stress test and lonesome loser was helping me out by monitoring the stream

for me i just spit on my arm and uh he said it was working fine so we're gonna try to work that

out everybody if not we'll do something right and we're entertained right we're gonna sing

no i'll have to get you to show us your cell phone use that i tried a different one you could

hear but um the microphone was shut off on the phone yeah yeah i couldn't talk they couldn't

hear me it sucks well then i might you just call people and then we yell and they just don't hear

excuse me well so we can't have anyone call in tonight nobody can call in tonight i'm sorry

very very sorry but no one can call in tonight next week i i actually got rid of the uh the uh

the voip the v-o-i-p whatever you want to call it uh service the vonage service let's say and

And actually today I got off the phone right after work with Bell South,

and they're going to be having local, normal telephone service here on Tuesday night.

It'll be connected.

It's going to be actually coming through the telephone wires?

Through the telephone wires, actual, not this choppy broadband internet.

Maybe we'll actually have them understand us.

Exactly.

We're going to use the phone cards and everything's going to be great

and no more technical issues with the phone

and no more waiting 10 minutes to make a phone call.

I got a line with a local number, with a caller ID, and with a three-way calling.

That's all I need.

That's all we need for the show.

No call waiting because, you know, the phone's busy, the phone's busy.

Yeah, no, I'm just going to hold it anyway.

You'd rather you get off the phone and enjoy the show.

Right.

So I'm sorry, folks.

No toll-free line and no stereo stream tonight.

Now, we are archiving in stereo.

We're not doing stereo stream.

Stereo stream is down, Andy.

The stereo stream is up.

They just put it up.

Hallelujah.

The stereo stream is working.

I fixed it.

Yeah, I didn't even know it went up.

No, seriously, I emailed this guy, and it said I had a show tonight,

and they had to fix my stream, and it went on.

It went on 16 seconds after.

Look at that.

We're encoding.

That's great news, Andy.

Everybody go to the stereo stream at once.

Yeah, I didn't say that, so KDK can't get mad at me.

But go to madhouselive.com forward slash join.

Again, that's madhouselive.com forward slash join.

And you can choose whatever way you want to hear us in mono,

you want to hear us in stereo,

You want to join the chat room.

You've got the toll-free lines up there.

Don't call it because it's not working.

Sorry, it'll be up next week again.

Is it the same number?

Yeah, the same number.

Yeah, the toll-free line doesn't change.

The toll-free line doesn't change.

Now, the personal number you reach me at, if you want to call me at home, it's different.

But the toll-free line has not changed.

It's going to be the same.

It's 888-278-8509.

But don't call that.

It's not going to work tonight.

I'm sorry, folks.

But we're going to be lucky if we get to do prank calls.

So I'm itching to start trying that.

But let me just run through this shit real quick here.

If you want to reach us on AOL Messenger, Madhouse Radio.

If you want to reach us on Yahoo Messenger, Madhouse PCU Radio.

And if you want to reach us on MSN Messenger, Madhouse PCU Radio at Hotmail.com.

The chat room is live, and the chat room is going on right now.

We have plenty of people in there.

Join the chat room.

Go to kdkprankcalls.com.

KDK as in kill, death, kill.

KDKprankcalls.com

Also, be sure to check out

MadhouseLive.com

That's our home page

In the chat room, just a quick shout out to everybody

in there, we got KDK, Madman, the Milkman

who's usually on the show with us

but I don't even think he's around

Did you talk to him last week at all?

You know what, I talked with

Milkman after the show, right?

Did you talk to him on the show Thursday?

Yes, yeah I did

And he said his shit, he's like

Like, you know, I'm banned.

It's not that bad.

He's still saying that?

Yeah.

Well, I talked to him afterwards.

He's so odd.

I was sick, and I talked to him afterwards, and I said, hey, look, man.

You told him to quit saying that?

Yeah, I told him to quit saying that, and that Andy doesn't hate you, and stop hating on Andy.

And I said, all right, Milkman, do this.

Saturday afternoon, are you doing anything?

No, no.

I'm like, okay, I'm not either.

I'm going to be home all day.

You call me when you get home, and we'll go online, and we'll get it worked out, and we'll get you back on the show.

You know, we'll make it so we can connect you again.

You're going to go ahead and check out the connection.

Right.

So he said, all right, 12 noon, I'll call you.

I'm up since 10 o'clock.

I have breakfast.

I clean around the house.

I sit down with Athena.

We wait for Milkman to call.

He doesn't call until 4 o'clock in the afternoon.

Tells me he's on his way home.

He's going to call me.

He never called me back.

He never called me after that.

I've called him twice.

Didn't get a hold of him.

So I'm trying everything I can to get Milkman back on the show.

So that's what's up with that.

That's very courageous of you.

I know.

I'm trying.

I'm honestly trying to get KDK back.

Not KDK.

I'm trying to get Milkman on now.

KDK, I left him a message earlier tonight.

Remember that guy Hunter Long?

Remember that kid?

Yeah.

He did a show.

He called in once and we made fun of him a lot and stuff.

Well, he hacked the PCU stream today and was doing a show.

He just got on there and he was saying that we suck and all this shit.

I just kept kicking him out.

That's kind of funny though.

I was watching the kid kicking him out, but I called KDK to let him know,

hey, look, he's saying shit.

shit but anyway i guess they're accusing kdk of having hijacked their stream so he did it to us

or something i don't know whatever they know how to do something like that yeah apparently they do

well he's got the password remember he did a show on pcu he never bothered to change it or anything

never bothered to change the password maybe that would have been a smart thing to do exactly well

i'm not we're not hating on kdk before anything gets blown out of proportion but that's what

happened with that the dead is saying hi tell andy i love him and wanna fuck him in a non-homosexual

kind of way and i wanted him sweet want to start he wants to asterix you i want to asterix you

andy do you want look what the hell look at his buddy icon man holy shit that's got an anal buddy

icon what's it doing in aol it's fucking the guy in the ass is it yes he's so gay i didn't know he

was gay i honestly thought he was straight i don't know man he's always making gay comments and he

He puts that on his AOL.

Yeah, that's pretty good.

Anal.

Are you sure it's a girl?

Because I can't see it from that far away.

That's a guy.

I don't see any tits in there.

That's guy on guy right there.

They got their shirts on.

Yeah.

I don't think that's a shirt.

They're all supposed to be fat people.

They're all supposed to be fat guys, yeah.

That's why I have sex.

I keep my shirt on.

No, I strip down to the undershirt.

That's the homeless thing.

You keep the undershirt on?

Yeah.

See, the undershirt accentuates my flabby arms.

No, it doesn't.

Yeah, my arms aren't that bad.

Okay.

It's my stomach that looks awful.

what about when you go swimming

nah I'm alright then

I don't swim in public so

it doesn't really matter

I gotta get a public beach

otherwise than that I'm slightly tan

for a large man I'm very tan

yeah cause you tan a lot that's really weird

I haven't done it in like a month

well Poop is in the chat room also giving us numbers

thank you Poop

Lonesome Loser

confirming numbers here

we got Buffet China, Bud's Drive Thru

International House of Pancakes

Jack in the Boxes

Hometown Buffet

Arby's

Roast Beef Restaurants

Arby's

That's a good roast

You ever get a roast beef

Sandwich at Arby's

You know

I didn't know they were called that

I thought it was just Arby's

Arby's

Yeah but Arby's

They got

Yeah I know

I guess they're just accentuated

But man you get that

Roast Beef Sandwich at Arby's

And all it is is bread

And then

And that beef

And then cheese

No cheese

It's got juice on it

It's got that juiciness

Yeah

That's just

If you get the real shit

Like in Chicago

That's real big

That's just dang dude

Yeah

Like you fucking

Dip the whole bread

and it's just like

a big soggy mess.

And that French dip.

Yeah.

That's good stuff.

Well, no,

they don't call it French dip.

They call it Italian dip.

No, it's called Italian dip.

Italian dip,

they just take it.

It's fucking awesome.

It's done right.

It ain't French, man.

You gotta watch out.

I don't know.

Eli gave me that French dip stuff.

Yeah.

This is Chicago's favorite here.

Yeah, but it's not

really a French dip.

So you don't like

the New Day Chappelle episodes?

No, I thought they sucked.

They're not what they used to be.

Yeah, a few moments I laughed.

Like the whole catfish thing

was funny.

Yeah, the one that he didn't want on the air.

No, I didn't think the Tupac song was funny.

Yeah.

Everybody's done that joke already.

Oh, all right.

I thought the one with the pixies for each race on his shoulders,

and they were like, you know, that was funny.

Yeah, that was funny.

Except for the white people one.

Yeah, the white people.

The Japanese one was pretty funny.

Yeah.

Just because the Japanese guy.

Ra-ra.

He called her Ra-ra.

Ra-ra.

That was killing me.

That was the funniest one.

You have disgraced my family, I bet.

That's crazy

Of the two episodes

That was easily the best part

I guess

I guess you could say so

Alright well there's Dave Chappelle

I don't think either one of those episodes

Was anything like what was the last season

Every one of the episodes

Last season was better

There's two episodes left on that

It's Sunday nights 9pm Eastern

On Comedy Central

Check your local listings

That's our sponsor for the night

Comedy Central

Central. We're going to be at Comedy Central soon, Andy.

It's too bad you're leaving.

You're out of the circle of trust.

KDK says,

LOL Andy DeFranco. Crank that

dyke. Is she still alive?

DeFranco? Who's that? Who's Andy

DeFranco, Andy? Any ideas on a representative?

No, he's a musician.

Is there a conference or something on New News?

Trying to get my attention? This should be

great. Oh, the ACLU conference.

That's right. Bush is out there. Stop the

ACLU. Stop the ACLU.

Oh, stop the ACLU. Oh, no. Okay.

Okay, I'm confusing the NAACP.

You know, they're having a conference.

How come I don't have their numbers?

Hey, Nunu.

Hey, wake up.

The biggest conference in America right now is the NCAA.

No, not the NCAA.

What's the black one?

NAACP.

NCAA.

The NAACP conference is tonight.

It's today.

It's this week.

So try to get that number.

Try to get a number for the Gay Games in Chicago.

Andy, explain that one.

They have a Gay Olympics there.

Yeah.

Your mayor is out there talking about it.

Is he?

What are you doing?

I was going to hell.

Suit?

What, did you dress like sexy?

He was a chaps

No man

He was dressed in a suit

Margaret Cho was out there too

What was she doing?

I don't know

She's always doing comedy

She's doing subpar comedy

Anyway

So let's see if this is going to work tonight Andy

Beirut Express

A retarded sounding guy

Answered a 10 on IBM

Alright mom

I take that

We'll be right back after this

I get bombswashed

Everybody's retarded

for worse. Nails was more faker than the letters on her purse. Not quite the Gucci butters.

No drawers, Gucci cutters, and the hoochie studded. You got another desk in here? She

listened to that rap shit. He was out of touch with no fuss. Only thing she said was,

she just pull out before you bust. Lights can help you dream work, but let's try.

Hey, how you doing? This is the Beirut Express. No, this is Alessa's Grill. Alessa's Grill?

Yeah. Okay, I was trying to charter the Beirut Express for my wife. She's in Lebanon

on right now?

No more Beirut Express.

Oh, no, but I need to get her out of Lebanon.

Do you think you can help me out?

Do you have anybody out there

who maybe owns a donkey or something

we can stick her ass on?

No.

Do you got any...

We'll call him back.

He got hung up on.

Watch how fast I call people back with this shit.

That sounded not bad.

Yeah, I thought that sounded pretty good.

Well, my fear is if it takes up too many resources,

it's going to make the stream jump.

You got to remember,

I connected to two streams at once right now.

So everybody in the chat room,

let me know if that sounded right,

if you could understand him,

if you could understand me.

Did it jump around?

Was it skipping?

Was it buffering?

Whatever you want to call it.

If you can, in the chat room, immediately tell me what the quality of that was, please.

Because I might just keep doing the calls like this.

And just keep the phone line for people to call in.

And that way, you know, I can turn off the phone and I don't have to take callers.

I don't feel like taking callers.

Like two weeks ago when you all took over my show, Lego.

So Clone Homegrown is asking, is it up and running now?

You said so.

I could do a show after you.

I guess Clone Homegrown, if you want to do a show after me, sure, man.

I'll stay tuned, everybody, for the CHG show.

For the Chigga show, featuring Chigga.

How many listeners do you think I have right now?

I've got to open that shit up.

Yeah, I was showing Andy.

We have the podcast.

It's been updated last week with our one-year anniversary best-of show that we did, that I did.

Andy, of course, called in.

Thank you.

Appreciate that.

No problem.

Milkman, of course, called in.

Very emotional reunion with Milkman.

Milkman broke down in tears.

No, he did.

He was so happy about the show and everything, about the one-year anniversary, he actually cried.

Yeah.

Wow, we've got weak numbers tonight, man.

We've got 63.

Actually, well, no.

Take away two.

We've got 61 listeners right now.

That's not that bad.

Combined all together in our Madhouse Radio Network.

That would be T-Big Radio.

Oh, okay.

And, of course, we are...

Let's see how many of them we lose.

Yeah, let's see.

We're holding at 26 now.

Now, they are featured on iTunes, where you can also subscribe to the Madhouse Podcast.

We're supposed to be playing music, man.

this song we started playing before right i think so okay good yeah all right clone homegirls says

i sound good but i'm low let's uh boost that gain there you go see if that sounds better um

people in the chat said yeah that's right we're gonna get that gauge right now carlito said that

doesn't mean fuck i don't know what he's saying i'm not gay okay earth duck says my mic is low

on skype okay well i'll try to fix that for some reason skype takes over my mic settings

And it's really annoying

But I'll work on that folks

I promise

Okay

Who's next?

Bishamon Japanese Restaurant

Burger King Coco's Family Restaurant

We got a lot of stuff here

Taco Natso

Nazi Taco

Yeah

Tell me what

God damn it

I'm gonna just do an old man voice

Harry Carey?

No the guy

Mangala

You want a Dr. Mangala special

Who's Mangala?

He's the guy that did all the experiments and shit

it really dr mangala that's just that's a crazy scary name yeah he's a guy that did his stuff on

the jewish twins and stuff like that yeah wow wow they were really occult and weird those people

dirty nazis

wait is that one i don't know so you think that was i think he all he could hear was the music

i didn't get to show the music loved it yeah i know but he didn't oh so you're saying the music

The music was probably louder than we were.

Exactly.

All I could hear was the music.

I got to get quicker with it.

He was probably, like, hopping around.

He's like, yes, I like this.

Good.

You can't get the adults good.

All right, let's try him again.

Connecting.

Connected.

I think he just hung up.

Yeah, he just picked it up and hung up.

Asshole.

All right, we're working on it, folks, okay?

Just relax.

Just relax, everybody.

Smooth Center wants me to play the clip where Milkman is crying.

That was a joke, everybody.

Don't take everything I say seriously, okay?

I thought you wrote about

when he was crying.

There's a huge feminist conference,

Nunu is saying. Hopefully they're arriving tonight.

Muslims confirming names for the

feminist conference. He also says the NAACP

conference is finishing now. They will be

staying in the hotels tonight. They're going to be out drinking

and eating fried chicken and stuff tonight.

They're going to have a big cookout tonight

and where is it at? Chicago?

They're probably going to play dice.

They're going to roll dice all night.

Oh, roll dot tom.

No, they won't say it.

There you go.

I'm sorry.

Nero IHOP.

Mexican girl with IHOP.

They don't know anything about pancakes.

Don't think so?

That's our thing.

Mm-hmm.

Baskin Robbins.

God, that ice cream sucks, man.

Does it?

Oh, yeah.

It's pretty good.

No, that ice cream sucks.

I haven't had it in there in a long time.

You shouldn't.

Papa John's Oriental Express.

Oriental Express.

Let's try that.

Excuse me.

Yes, hello.

Is this the Oriental Express?

Yes.

Okay.

How much is it to charter the Oriental Express tonight?

Wait, this is the Chinese fast food.

Exactly.

I'd like two tickets for the Orient Express, please.

We don't have that kind of chicken Orient Express.

What about chicken?

What kind of chicken are you looking for?

We have combos.

Combo?

Can I get the number three combo?

Okay, the three items one?

Yes.

Okay.

Are you on your way right now?

I can be if you'd like me to.

Okay.

So, okay, we close at 8.30, okay?

Oh, well, you close when I get there.

Okay.

So, see you later.

Thank you.

Bye-bye.

Hey, don't make it.

You better make it.

Damn it.

Okay.

This isn't going to be the best night.

This has got to be an easier way to do this over here.

Hang on.

All right.

We'll play this.

Okay.

Jane of Fairies says that Joseph Mengele was played by Gregory Peck in The Boys from Brazil.

Sounds like a gay poem, but it was really a cool movie.

Don't a lot of those Nazis go to South America?

Yes.

That was a good movie.

There was, like, little clone Hitlers everywhere.

Really?

Yeah, they're killing chickens and shit.

Like, they're crazy.

So they clone Hitler in Brazil?

Yep.

South America?

Yep.

That's kind of scary.

And then there was, like, an old man fight at the end, if I remember right.

Yeah.

Like old man fights in the movie

where they kind of grab each other's wrists

and they struggle for a bit

and then one goes to the ground.

Really?

You ever seen those in the old movies?

No.

Wrist action.

Okay.

There it is.

The only solution is I can prevent Sky

from controlling my violent controls

by doing Dada.

I think I did that.

I tried to do it.

I think he's still doing it, though.

Yeah.

And I guess my mic was too loud earlier.

I apologize.

Should not be a problem any longer.

And he's going to the bathroom.

I can only assume.

And I'm going to figure out what I'm going to do.

You know, this sucks that I've been able to have people call in.

It's always so much fun.

It takes the heat off of me after a while.

Letting y'all call in and whatnot and so forth.

Poop says there's a Walmart near him.

That's 24-7.

Nothing but Puerto Ricans, Mexicans, and blacks work there.

A lot of black people got attitude at Walmart.

You know that, Andy?

A lot of black people get attitude at Walmart.

Well, here's what happened to me.

I was high like three weeks ago.

I was at Walmart.

And I really hate Walmart, but I had to be there.

Yeah, that's true.

You do hate Walmart.

I do hate Walmart a lot, but I had to be there with Athena.

Because Walmart took your father's eye, right?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

A screwdriver from Walmart took his eye out.

But regardless, I was going down the lane with my buggy.

And these two black dudes that worked there were coming up.

And I said, fuck it.

I ain't going to move.

I'm going to go straight through.

And the black guy got mad.

It was this big black dude.

And he turned around when I passed him.

He was like, yeah, man, hit me with that buggy.

I'm going to see what you're going to do.

Something like that.

And I got scared.

Well, you were riding like a dick in public and you got put in your place.

I think it was a good experience.

But who makes you think that you could just run people over with your shopping cart?

Because they work for Walmart.

As big as you are, you could have killed them.

No, it's just the cart's going to kill them.

The cart's wider than me.

Don't say I'm wider than a grocery cart.

That's a lie.

I don't even get that.

I was saying you were going to hit them with your cart and crush their tibulis.

They shouldn't work at Walmart.

That's the problem they got to deal with if they're working at Walmart.

Sorry.

his music. We're supposed to play any other music. Hang on.

What other music? The normal music.

Here we go.

Yeah, so for Walmart.

Send me that number, by the way.

Taco Milkshake, a.k.a. Poop. Send me that number

for Walmart. Who's he, a.k.a. Poop?

You like Poop, right? Friend of yours.

It's called the International House of Pancakes.

Let's try that. I don't know what I'm gonna do, but I'm gonna

do it. You know, I notice whenever I say that

on the show, it usually really sucks.

Okay. What's the largest pancake

I can get? What? I would like

some large pancakes. Some large

Large what?

Large pancakes.

Yes, hi.

I need some large pancakes.

God damn it.

Fucking, I need some large...

Jesus, God.

It didn't work.

See, it kept controlling the microphone on me.

That sucks.

I'm just noticing it's really...

It's a really touchy program that we're trying to use here.

Let me try to fix that again, the settings here.

Just sound devices.

Let's see.

See, it's not checked.

It's not supposed to be.

How do you know that it did it then?

Because I could see it bring it down the second I started to call,

and it was shut right back up when I was done.

on. He said, sound devices, okay, let me try that again. Tools, options, sound devices.

Tools, options, sound devices. Yeah. And it still does it by itself. I don't understand

it. I don't know. I don't know why it controls my sound devices after I tell it not to. Maybe

I gotta update it. I don't know. Clone Homegrown says that it's skipping around. Well, that

sucks. Sorry. Nunu

News says I'm a long-legged Puerto Rican.

Again, if Thena made you go to Walmart that she needs to give up the anus,

Jay Nefarius says, tap into the Walmart PA.

That's not even possible.

We tried that and it didn't work.

I don't think it worked.

We tried that, when was it?

Friday on Zolar's show.

I was calling in and we were trying to tap into the PA system in Walmart.

We don't know if it worked or not.

I don't know if it worked for sure or not.

So apparently it is scrambling.

Well, that sucks.

Okay, continue.

Let's try another prank call.

Let's try Bud's drive-thru.

An older Mexican woman answered at 10.18 p.m. supposedly.

we'll try that right now we'll see how much longer we can do a show hopefully we can make this work

yeah okay um yeah bud may i speak may i speak with bud please

it sucks man they heard you until the very end and they get to give him an answer to hook him

um yeah i don't know man i don't know i can't get the skype shit to work and that means we

We can't do prank calls

and what's the point

of doing a show?

You know what I mean?

You can talk for two hours, Andy.

It's a lot of pressure.

Yeah, of course, Tom.

Yeah.

Do you have anything

we'll just shut off the show

until next week

and, you know,

we'll smoke some weed

and watch some TV.

Eat some peanuts.

You'll probably just leave.

You don't like hanging out

with me anymore.

We got to do something.

You want to see Clerks 2?

You don't want to see Clerks 2, right?

What, are you turning

the fucking belt man on me?

Why don't you like me, man?

You don't want to hang out.

Busy doing what?

Working.

Watching TV.

You used to be able

your cable company.

Sorry.

Oh, you know Adelphia?

They claim bankruptcy.

They're being bought out

by Comcast and Time Warner.

Where'd he go?

Yeah, Time Warner's

going to take him back

over in Florida.

I'm hoping it's not Comcast.

Time Warner picks him up,

switches him over

to Bright House.

Comcast isn't good?

No, Comcast is out.

They're in some parts

of Orlando already

and they really suck.

My dad's out there in Chicago.

No, Comcast out there is good.

Like, Adelphia

and other parts of the country

is good.

But out of here,

it comes from Miami

up to Orlando

and it's really slow

and it sucks.

sucks you don't get half the channels you can't get any on-demand stuff comcast is good comcast

is right on par with time warner which is bright house what we got here so you're just hoping that

someone else buys them yeah i'd be happy with bright house because i know bright houses shit

is good you know their internet connection is good everything is good that'll help out a lot

with this show yep all right let's try another call you know if this doesn't work i don't know

anybody might call it a night you know it's obvious i mean we can't do prank calls there's

on choosing to do

a prank show.

So let's try

talking to the microphone.

What if someone

could call in?

No one can't.

Would it still sound weird?

Mm-hmm.

You're saying

they can't hear you.

Nope.

Well, they can hear you.

What's happening is

it's killing the microphone

on me for some reason,

which makes it so

they can't hear me

on the other end of the phone.

Plus, this is a bad night,

maybe.

I don't know.

Whatever.

We're dolling too much on it.

Let's see.

He's confirmed some names

for people from

the feminist conference

at the Crowne Plaza Hotel.

Kim Gandy,

Olga Vines,

Melody Durnatch.

Kim Gandy.

I like a name like Olga.

That's a nice name.

We'll try that one.

Hang on, folks.

Even Olga is either very hot or very ugly.

There's no hot Olgas.

Bullshit.

Ah, it's hot.

Tell guests or a member of management, please press 1.

For individual or group reservations, please press 2.

Group sale.

Why don't I just hold for an operator then, I guess.

Yeah, but no.

No, but a real hotel.

You can see the hotel guest or a member of management, please press 1.

For individual or group reservations, please press 2.

For group sales, catering, and meeting inquiries, please press 3.

If you wish to speak with a guest service representative, please press 0.

Thank you.

All right.

Let's have a...

Did you know the Albany Crowne Plaza is a perfect choice for your wedding?

We're proud to offer our...

Mr. Shawana, speak. I can help you.

Hi, good evening.

Hi.

I was wondering if you...

What's your last name?

Last name, or do you want my last name?

Last name, V-I-V-E-S.

V-I-V-E-S.

Okay, hold on a moment.

All right.

How would she know, right?

You reached the Crowne Plaza Albany Hotel's message center.

The guest you are trying to label now.

All right, good.

Talk about it, Andy.

People talk about that shit all the time.

I officially don't smoke right now.

Oh, okay.

All right, that's right.

Everybody forget you heard anything of that.

Who got it?

All right.

Just like spinach.

Yeah, I think you should avoid calling any place where you gotta go do a message system.

I'm sorry, what?

You should avoid calling places where you have to go through a message system.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They didn't answer, but we could try something else.

Hang on.

Next prank call is coming right now, folks.

Thank you for calling the Crowne Plaza Albany Hotel.

If you wish to speak with a guest or a member of Manatee,

please press 1-0 or bring a 2-0 to me in question.

If you wish to speak with a guest,

please press 0.

Have a great day.

Support, enhance, sensation, and both patients.

We love you.

Yes, services.

This is Tina.

May I help you?

Do you need to speak with Vavis, please?

D is in David.

As in victory.

I'm saying to you, is it V-A-V-I-S?

Let's try Gandhi, G-A-N-D-Y.

We're proud to offer our exquisite banquet facility.

Hello?

Hi, Ms. Gandhi?

Yes.

How are you, Ms. Gandhi?

I'm fine, thank you.

Hey, good.

Some dirty dishes here, would you mind coming over and cleaning them?

Oh, no problem at all.

Because you're a woman.

I'll be right there.

Yeah.

Can you clean toilets, too?

Absolutely.

What else can you do good?

I'm pretty good at most everything.

Do you know how to satisfy a man sensually?

You got anything that you need for me to do tonight, or are you just calling to harass?

I need you to take out the trash, woman.

All right.

Good night.

You owe me a rib.

I hope people could hear that.

I don't think they could.

I think they heard her talking, but not me.

Folks, let me know if you could hear me talking to that.

I don't know if you did.

Clone Home Grumps says you heard it.

Good.

Excellent. That's fabulous. That was a good call.

Andy, any thoughts on that call?

Talk into the microphone, Andy. I'm sure you can do it.

That's fine.

There you go. This is the new sound bite. Right here.

I took a big shit.

Who said that?

Some guy I called. I thought I made this into a prank call.

I called this guy and accused him of taking a shit in the church toilet.

And he freaked out on me. It's so funny. He's freaking out.

I was like, man, I don't know who you are.

I told him, you know, stuff, you know.

I took a big shit.

I said

You took a big shit

And he's like

I took a big shit

He's like

I took a big shit

That was funny

Yeah

He says he's gonna call the sheriff

The sheriff

I love when people say

I'm gonna call the sheriff

Like yeah

Let me call Bob Oak

Wait a minute

Sheriff

Come on down

It's a deputy

Not a sheriff

Yeah the sheriff's not gonna come out for a second

The sheriff

I don't care

Shaq's gonna come out to your house

And say

You took a big shit

Here come over here sir

I took a big shit

There he is

I want to lynch him.

He sounded Catholic.

Sounded Catholic.

Yeah, yeah.

Anyway, sorry.

What are you doing?

I hate it when you do that.

Why don't you go kick the cat again?

He's not around.

Anyway.

So what do you think about Lebanon, man?

Any thoughts on that?

Why don't you tell me what you think, and then I'll go ahead and run with that.

All right.

Okay, Andy.

You always ask me questions.

We never hear your opinion.

My opinion on it is...

I think your government agent is trying to get me to say something treasonous.

I don't know.

I think Lebanon just got a little crazy.

They're a little tired of some shit that's been happening there for a few years now.

And they stopped taking shit.

And I think they're making a few mistakes right now, to be honest with you.

This is my idea.

But you know what?

Let them do it.

Let them shut those people up, honestly.

You don't agree, I'm sure.

You're pro-Arab, right?

No, I'm not.

You're anti-Israel.

I hate everyone.

You hate everyone?

Yeah.

So why don't they kill each other, Andy?

I just don't.

I don't agree with how much you need to give Israel.

I heard somewhere where Israel is the 14th richest economy.

A lot richer than Lebanon is.

A lot higher GDP than Lebanon.

A lot higher GDP per capita than Lebanon.

Yet, the United States gives them, I want to say it's like $450 per head, per person living in Lebanon.

That's how much aid we get, $450 per citizen.

And I think it's like 2,500 for Israel.

It's like really disproportionate, yet they're a lot better off.

Israel is a lot better off than Lebanon is,

but we give Israel a lot more aid than we would to Lebanon, than we do to Lebanon.

The largest lobby in America.

And AIPAC is what, a Jewish one?

Yeah, it's a Jewish lobby.

Really? AIPAC is?

Yeah.

I thought it was the old people.

I thought it was ARP.

AIPAC.

Really? And ARP's up there too, right?

Yeah, they're probably up there.

I mean, I don't know the number one.

Yeah, ARP is a big one.

Yeah, NRA is big.

Not really that big, right?

I don't know.

Anyway, Clone Homegrown says he will give his head for $350.

Actually, that's not Clone Homegrown.

Someone's imitating Clone Homegrown.

Clone Homegrown will give his head for $350, Andy.

That's expensive.

Yeah.

I mean, he's got a jug habit to support.

Shit, dude.

That's a lot of weed, man.

That is a lot of weed.

So they're getting rid of the penny, Andy.

Are they really?

Yeah, there's a bill to get, I'm sorry, there's a bill to get rid of the penny.

Like, how sad is it in the country now that we have to get rid of the penny because it costs too much money?

It costs one and a half cents to make a penny.

I know.

And that's some shit.

Yeah, so technically.

I mean, I don't think we really need more.

There's so many out there.

People throw, I know people who throw them out.

I literally, this is a guy at my old job.

He would take them and throw them in the trash can when he got them after lunch.

I was like, you dumb motherfucker.

They're insulting.

You stupid spick.

Don't throw away money.

It's a penny.

Yeah, fuck it, just put it in a jar at home when you get home

And then you get $20 in like six months

And you get yourself, you know, get yourself some beer

Or something like that

Yeah, that's $20, that's a half a tank of gas for me

That's a lot of tolls too, man

I'm paying $2.50 each way

I'm paying $5 a day to get to work

Are you serious?

$5 a day to get to work

That is

I work over a half

When I get to work

That first hour is pretty much

paying for the gas and the tolls for me to get to work that day you know what i mean yeah i work

car out today for the first time ever like yeah i've had that car for like six seven months right

yeah and i finally filled it up for the first time really it cost me like 43 dollars wow man

yeah 15 gallons yeah i gotta get a new fuel filter and shit on my car see if i can get the

mileage back up to what it used to be probably well it's an old car i have a 90 99 hondo accord

so

I mean they're good cars

and stuff

they're not that

but after a while

a car starts losing

it's robustness

as far as

you know

miles per gallon

is this happening

I got a 97

I guess

cause I got

I guess when I was still

yeah

but it's a stick

but it's not like

it was when it was new though

I don't know

I didn't have it then

I don't know what I'm saying

but a new Camry

alright

sorry I'm giving out

what car you have

you're gonna get

car bombed now

click and clack

yeah

click and clack

this shit sucks

that's the PBS

radio show

my mom watches that

yeah

the clackets

they have a TV show too

too? I don't know. I know they have a radio show.

What's that old radio show

they put on NPR every Saturday night? It's like

old time radio show or something.

Lake Wobegon?

Something dumb like that. Yeah, it's really sucky

but they always play that.

Garrison Keillor? Yeah.

NPR sucks, man. I don't know. You know, I like

BBC News. How do you feel about

BBC News? Do you find they have a more credible source

than anything here in America? Yeah.

They're a little sensationalistic. I don't trust them either.

You don't trust the BBC either?

You don't trust the AP? You remember when Princess Diana

was dying on TV. We were watching

it in 97

because they preempted Saturday Night Live

for it. And the BBC

reporter she was at, and you said

you said, I won't believe

until the AP reports it.

And then I made

a big deal when it came out.

I don't know why I said things like that.

I really like to argue.

You're like, I don't recognize it

until it's the Associated Press.

That's true. I love to argue.

You were saying that you were in a British subject

I was like, okay, whatever.

And like an hour later, the AP confirms it.

You know, you're like, okay, fine.

Yeah.

That's a big thing when the AP confirms something, man.

AP rarely fucks up.

Now, the New York Times, that's something else.

Which is the one that made up the story of the New York Times, right?

No, the Washington Post.

Yeah, someone.

One of them.

One of them really fucked up.

That's why I don't read newspapers.

I don't watch local news at all.

CBS News.

Fuck local news.

I don't watch the local news for shit.

It's all scary stories, bullshit, and the weather.

Fuck it.

I get my weather online.

I get all my news online.

That's all I need.

I need the internet.

That's it.

That's the only news I get is online.

Okay.

How about a prank call, Andy?

Right here.

Yes.

That's where you all came, bitches.

Um, Jack in the Box.

We don't have Jack in the Box here in Florida, dude.

No.

I know they had a problem with undercooked hamburgers in the 90s.

In the early 90s.

That's all I know about them.

I know I wouldn't go to a Jack in the Box.

I hear good things about them, though.

What's with the fucking music?

Jesus.

We're almost out of music already, damn.

It's crazy.

You know what it is?

Because usually we turn the music off when we have a caller and stuff.

And now we have nothing to play.

What do we do?

What do we do, man?

Got to play something in the background here.

Okay.

Burby's Roast Beef Restaurants.

Let's try that.

Yes, come in on my seat.

Hey, how you doing, darling?

Oh, yes.

Hey, your drive-thru is open until late?

Drive-thru also?

Yes.

Okay, I got a dilemma.

I'm really hungry right now.

You guys are the closest restaurant to me, right?

But you have to promise not to make fun of my face if I come through the drive-thru.

Okay.

Okay, because look, I just got turned around by the cops

I was wearing a bag over my head and the cops pulled me over and said I can't do that

And they made me blow the breathalyzer, right?

And you know the legal limit is .4 while I blew a .3

He made me blow it like four times, you know

Okay

Alright, so I'm going to come by

But you've got to realize I'm drunk

So just don't tell anybody I'm coming by, okay?

Okay

Okay, and you've got those roast beefs?

Yes, we have those specials for regular roast beefs for $5

Wow, you're a really good sales bitch, saleswoman.

Hey, do you have a sandwich?

Yes, we have a corned beef and turkey.

Okay, corned, can you get...

Only the, I'm sorry, only the drive-thru is open until midnight, okay?

Not the lobby.

Oh, but I...

The lobby is open until 10.

But I can't, I have a lot of acne.

You know, I wasn't gonna come in the lobby.

What, you're gonna close the drive-thru?

No, no, no, we open the lobby until 10, and then drive-thru is open until midnight.

Okay, can...

Okay.

If I come in, will the person wash their hands in front of me before they cook the food?

We have the sink on the back, so you're not going to be able to see the sink on the back,

but they'll wash their hands.

Can they promise to?

Yes, they could promise me.

Will he show me the wet hands and all that and let me smell them before?

Because maybe he can wash his hands with lemon in front of me, you know?

Okay.

I mean, I got lemons.

Oh, we have them right here, too.

Oh, you know, but I have the strong lemons.

I just picked them out of my, I don't like those, you know, those other lemons, they're

not, they're dirty.

They have a cinnamal, getting all that dust and hair and, and you know, people, they go

to the bathroom, they don't wash their hands and you come back and you touch the lemon

and it's got all that stuff on it, you know, all those germs and they get in the food.

Hey, let me, how clean is the oil that you use for the roast beef?

We don't use oil for the roast beef.

Oh, you don't fry them?

We don't fry roast beef.

Could you do that?

We're not allowed to do that.

What if I slip you a 20?

I'm sorry?

What if I slip you a 20?

Can you fry me up some roast beef?

Come on.

You can do it.

Come on.

I'm not allowed to do it.

Yo, girl, you're the manager.

I am the manager, but I'm allowed to do it.

You can do that.

Come on.

I'll totally make it worth your while.

No, I won't do it.

Yo, I'll buy you a sexy dress.

Come on.

Oh, no.

Yo, it's leopard.

Okay, so we're all been segmented, okay?

Yo, I got this leopard dress.

I'm sorry.

I have to let you go because I have some people working, too.

It's leopard.

don't care

that's all I have

any any thoughts on that

is that clappable

for sure yeah

alright good

great

and you're gonna be

an AC tech

yeah

you gotta learn all about

contactors

and duct work

and

yup

and all that shit

air handlers

you know what an air handler is

no

you don't know anything dude

I know so much more

you should take the classes

here at SEC

and shit man

they got they're really cheap

and they certify

they're gonna train me

and pay me

while you're being trained

oh that's good

that's good

your dad's hooking you up

with that job right

yup

that's good

Awesome.

Why am I learning anything now and then risk sounding like a smartass and pissing them off?

He says every call I do is about food.

He's got a point.

The Fat Albert calls about food.

That's about food.

Food takes up a lot.

We've been talking about a bunch of food on here.

You mean peanuts the whole time?

Hey, thanks for bringing over peanuts, man.

That's great.

I appreciate it.

No problem.

Everybody loves peanuts.

Yep.

I got a gin and tonic, and he's got peanuts, and that's about it.

I've been injecting myself with this new medicine Andy

I told you about this right

Yeah you did

You mentioned this

It's a lizard spit

It's Gila monster spit

Yeah

Is it Gila or Gila

Gila

Gila monster

Yeah sure

I don't know

I've never seen one before

Supposed to make me lose weight

And control my blood sugar

Let's see if that happens

The dead wants

Either my body or Andy's

But Andy

I'll be yours

Will you

I'm alright

No I think it's yours

He only talks to you

He doesn't like me at all

He likes you

He doesn't like me at all

Really

Yeah

Yeah?

Yeah.

Good.

The day wants your body.

All right, fine.

Okay, man.

Poop has still not given me that number for the Walmart.

Poop, I command you to give me a number for Walmart, please.

I got a 7-Eleven here.

Hey, we should call Fuck You Bitch Motherfucker Guy, too.

Yeah.

Lonesome Loser, see if you got that around.

I'm sure you have that available.

Try to get us a number for Mr. Fuck You Bitch Motherfucker.

How about we take a break, Andy?

Five-minute break.

Let me regroup.

Let me refresh my drink here real quick.

Yeah, sounds good.

Wash my hands.

and I'm going to come back

and we're going to do some more prank calls.

Okay? Good.

All the listeners, please don't go anywhere.

This is going to be really quick, I promise you.

Do not panic.

Hang on. I've got to

do something here.

Andy, talk about something. I screwed up big time here.

What did you do? I didn't set this up

correctly real quick here.

Do you have a middle part ready?

A middle part? Yeah.

I do.

Why don't you pray? I didn't add it to Winamp.

Unfortunately.

Hang on.

Unpour here.

Input playlist from folder.

MadhouseLive.com

and be sure to check out

KDKPrankCalls.com

You should have done it already.

I should.

I got to a slow start today, sir.

Sorry.

But here it is.

Right?

And there it is.

Okay.

We'll be right back after this, everybody.

Be sure to keep listening.

It is now 1110 PM.

Fuck.

Piece of shit up there.

I never liked him.

I never trusted him.

For all I know,

he had me set up

and had my friend

Asia Fernandez killed.

right here

radio will be back

right after this

I'm sorry about that

we've got more prank calls

to do tonight

probably going to end the show

in a little bit here

if you don't mind

I apologize for certain things

that I need to attend to

right now unfortunately

so if you don't mind

So let me do a few more prank calls, and we'll move on with the night.

Lonesome Loser has sent me the number for the Dunkin' Donuts guy.

Let's see if I can get Skype to behave now and work, and we can do this prank call.

We'll be right back after this. Hang on.

Dunkin' Donuts, how can I help you?

Hi, ma'am. How are you doing?

Good.

Hello, my child.

Hello.

Let me ask you a question about your donuts.

Go ahead.

Just exactly how many holes do you put in each donut?

I'm sorry?

Just exactly how many holes do you put in each donut?

About 12.

12?

Yes, sir.

How many fingers do you have on one hand?

What do you mean?

How many fingers do you have on one hand?

Excuse me, are you trying to play with me or what?

I don't have time for you.

Don't yell at me, please.

I love you.

Who is this?

I love you like a sister.

Who is it?

It is I.

Who?

I.

A-Y-E.

I.

Listen, I don't have seriously to talk with you, okay?

I don't have time for that.

So, you know what?

Go sleep is better for you.

Have a good night.

Ma'am, have a serious talk.

Aw, I'm hearing this.

Let's try her again.

Talk to me like that, will you, woman?

I'll let you remind you all to pray for Andy tonight.

Like a donut.

Yes, sir.

This woman speak to me hang up phone.

Why?

Okay, so what do you want?

I don't know what you did to my friend, but he's in great pain and cannot function.

What did you do to him?

You threatened him every week, and now look what happened.

Okay, just tell me what you want.

What I want?

I want an apology.

Apology for what?

For what you did to my friend.

I'm sorry?

For what you did to my friend.

Hello, ma'am.

Who's man?

You're the man.

I'm the man?

You're the woman.

Talk to me.

What do you want exactly?

You're the woman that works there.

Do you want to play?

Yeah, I want to play.

I can't play with you.

It's like, hello?

Don't get fresh with me.

You want fresh?

Don't get fresh with me.

I love fresh.

I don't play.

Fuck you, bitch, motherfucker.

You remember that?

Yeah, I like, yeah, I remember you.

You remember?

I like to, I like it because now, you know, because, you know, the phone.

And I don't want to say nothing.

Say it to me.

Say it bad to me, buddy.

Come on.

Say it bad.

Huh?

Say the bad things.

Say the bad thing to me.

You think I'm afraid?

You missed a good call.

And he's over there asleep.

Damn it, man.

That was great.

I'm going to have to.

That's the best call of the night right there, everybody.

That's how you come back from a slump.

That was awesome.

Thank you.

Thank you, everybody.

And the show moves on as soon as I find music here.

Okay.

So, as I said before, be sure to visit us at madhouselive.com.

Again, that's madhouselive.com.

The chat room is also open.

You can also reach me on AOL Instant Messenger at Madhouse Radio

and Madhouse PCU Radio if you're on Yahoo Instant Messenger.

That was a great call.

We can try to call this Walmart in Hawaii where an Asian woman has answered.

Let's try that now.

Speak

Speak a little slower, please.

Hello, Walmart.

How may I help you?

Oh, my God.

You're so rude.

Hello.

Why do you have to speak so slow?

I'm not retarded.

You said to speak slow, so that's what I did.

Not that slow.

Don't exaggerate, honey.

Okay, so what do you need?

God, I need to speak to Arturo.

Arturo?

Yeah.

What department is, do you know what department he is in?

The, uh, the weapons and sports.

Oh, okay.

One moment.

Hey, don't bullshit me.

Hello, ma'am?

Hello?

Yes, is this sporting goods?

Yes.

Do you have any crossbows?

Crossbow?

Yeah.

Um, okay, hold on.

Let me check, okay?

You don't know?

No, because I'm the cashier.

You don't know?

You work there.

You don't know?

I'm the cashier.

You're the cashier?

I'm the associate on the floor.

I asked for sporting goods, ma'am.

Yeah, I'm going to get the associate in Sporting Goods.

Cashier, answer the phone and get the associate in Sporting Goods.

Cashier doesn't answer the phone.

Sporting Goods does.

You know what?

You better let me talk to a man, not a woman.

I'm getting the associate on the floor to help you out.

Is it a man or a woman?

It's a man.

What's his name?

I'm going to go check.

Hold on, please.

Thank you.

Hurry up.

He's probably going to put me on internal hold.

So we're going to take her off.

Sorry, everybody.

Tried to do that.

Didn't quite work, but I tried.

All right.

Clone Home Groom confirms that he's going to be doing a show tonight after me.

It will be on the Madhouse Radio Network.

And it will also be on PCU.

As long as KDK is okay with that, I'll simulcast him on PCU

so you guys can hear a show after I jump off for the night.

Let's try to do another prank call here.

I'm going to be ending the show here soon.

But keep listening because after I, Carlito, is done here with the Madhouse,

house, we will have

Clone Homegrown with the show as well.

So Clone Homegrown, this is your

notification to

hurry up and get ready.

I'll be messaging you as soon as

I'm ready to kick over the stream to you.

Do not kick the stream until I give you permission,

sir. Thank you. So

prepare yourself. In the meantime,

Lonesome Loser has also

said, and KDK says he's okay with him being on

PC, so fine. We'll simulcast him on there

for everybody to hear. So be sure to stay tuned

after I am done. Then I go anywhere after

After I end the show, there will be another live show after me.

And be sure to visit Clone Homegrown over at clonedhomegrown.com.

Um, Pussycats, Happy Bakery.

I don't like the sound of Happy Bakery.

I don't trust that shit.

Let's try to call them.

Grab back.

That didn't work.

Oh, well, I tried.

Let's see if there's any other numbers.

Who else can we call?

We tried Bud's already.

We just tried the Buffet China.

We tried IHOP.

We tried Jack in the Box.

Arby's Rose Beef Restaurants.

Tried the Bayroom Express.

Bichamon.

I don't know if they're going to be open.

It was a while ago.

Okay.

McDonald's inside Walmart.

He's a local number three.

Moculant.

Caesar's Pizza.

It's again.

Sorry, folks.

I'm trying to find Juan Pollo Chicken in California, where it is now 740.

They should be open still.

Hang on.

Have you heard of Mississippi?

Have you heard of Muddy Waters?

Blues, mix it on with our own kind of way.

We like to do it our own way, the experience way, right?

Something like this here.

excuse me i'm so excited i'm excited and i just can't hide it ma'am yeah i'm doing great how are

you super thanks for hanging up on me bitch that was a waste of time let's try to call her back

hang up on me yeah have you heard of mississippi yes i have

i'm sorry for the uh actions of my friend who was on the phone just a moment ago i'm sorry

Okay, how can I help you?

Okay, great. Can I have a to-go order, please?

Okay.

Okay. Do you have any pico de gallo?

If I have what?

Pico de, pico de tumadre. De gallo?

Who?

Pico de gallo. Pico de gallo.

Oh, pico de gallo.

De gallo.

Yes?

No, what's that? No, two L's. Gallo.

Yes?

Well, it's good if you have it. Are you ready?

Yes.

What do you have that has that pico de gallo in it?

We have the sign. I'm not picking the pico de gallo. It's on the side.

Oh, man.

You got steaks there?

Hey, isn't that a steak where you cut it up in little pieces and you put it in the thing with that stuff?

No.

You know what I mean?

You take the meat and you put it in that thing?

On what thing?

I can barely hear you.

Shove it up your mouth.

Yes.

Do you do that thing with the meat?

No.

Do you do that thing with the meat?

Don't answer me.

I don't know what I'm doing.

Athena, are you here with an update?

Oh, come on.

You got to have an update.

You're wet?

Andy, how's he doing?

Is he sleeping?

Oh, he's fine.

He's fine?

How are the cats doing?

Bring Chloe over here.

here bring chloe over here real quick woman i command you to bring the cat to me hurry up you're

taking too long come on we're trying to do a kdk style show heaven forbid i talk bad about kdk

yeah anyway what to do what's to do everybody who is this oh there she is here's kdk show everybody

hey how you doing hey say hi sebastian say hi oh sebastian you said hi to everybody oh my god

let's do this for a whole hour oh sebastian beautiful i was supposed to do a katie k's ipod

number one ipod of the day but i didn't have time to find a song so i just did that so that's uh

katie that's katie k's ipod song of the week and the theater says i'm bad there it is everybody

that's a clip from last week's show that went on for two hours last week on katie k's lunatic

french and that's number one on my ipod too katie k that's my favorite song i've heard that

three times this week that whole half hour you talking to sebastian what's his other cat name

mouse lonesome loser has sent me a number for shan yi poon ballet school in san francisco yeah

okay saigon wants to know where he can download the show of kdk jokes i don't know the show of

kdk jokes what the hell are you talking about that show of kdk jokes the one where i made fun

of katie doesn't exist there was no such thing andy said that um the blue oyster theme uh from

From the Police Academy movie was KDK's number one show on his iPod.

Number one song on his iPod.

And I got in trouble for it.

And everybody said there was beef that wasn't there.

I don't know.

And he got me in trouble as usual.

Always does.

But I digress.

We continue with the show.

I'm trying to get a hold of cloned homegrown negro son.

Who says that he's not able to connect to the stream.

Of course, you can't connect to the stream until I'm done with it, dude.

Get a grip on yourself.

Cloned homegrown.

When I'm done with my show, you'll be able to connect.

And once that happens, it'll work.

It will work when I am off the street.

Duh.

So we're going to end the show here in a little bit.

And after that, as I said, Clone Homegrown will be on.

That's all the night.

We're going to call the Dunkin' Donuts guy again.

See if he picks up again.

Because he's in a sassy mood.

Hey, do you have any leopard?

Stupid prank.

Anyway, should I continue with the show?

Oh, should I just kick it over?

Tell you what, everybody.

I'm going to call it a night.

It's time to go.

Time to go, everybody.

Ending a little early tonight, but not a problem,

because we'll be back next week.

Be sure to visit madhouselive.com.

Again, that's madhouselive.com.

Looking for my outro music here.

My new outro music.

What is it here?

Anyway, also be sure to visit pcuradio.com.

And never forget, you can also visit

Visit kdkprintcalls.com.

If you're on MySpace, you want to be sure to add myspace.com forward slash pcuradio.

Again, that's myspace.com forward slash pcuradio.

That's the MySpace page for pcuradio.

My MySpace page is myspace.com forward slash madhouse live.

And be sure to listen to Maro for Zolar, his one-year anniversary show.

will be tomorrow at 10pm

Eastern. That is a one year

anniversary show of

Zolar Avijon.

I believe High Pitch Eric will be in the

studio, so I look forward to

that. Be sure to listen Saturday to

KDK's show. That is a

Lunatic Fringe and that starts at 10pm Eastern.

And Sunday nights,

perhaps Sean Ward will grace us with

the show. Perhaps not. But if he

does, it'll be at 9pm Eastern.

Sean Ward's Peanut Punch Radio.

and Wednesday nights

KDK does a show as well

that is his cycle babble

10pm Eastern on Wednesday nights

and then Thursday nights you complete the circle

with us here

10pm Eastern every Thursday night

Madhouse Radio and like I said

next week we'll have better shit to do

we'll have a working phone line

we'll take your calls on the toll free line and everything

but be sure to tell everybody

to check us out

check out our podcast

it's available on our website

site madhouse live.com and um it's also in itunes in itunes radio store just do a search for mad

house radio and you will find our podcast you can uh subscribe through there just go to the

home page regardless um but i i also like to say um you know fuck hunter fuck hunter he's a bitch

you know i'll kick his ass and i'll kick anybody else's ass out there who's got a problem

and everybody please

your prayers out for

the best of health right now

hopefully he'll be better soon

and we leave you with this

goodnight, catch you next week

goodbye

stay tuned for Cloned Homegrown next

Herbert, you don't know who you is, bro.

Who the fuck is you, you fucking Herbert?

You know what I did?

Man, he scared me.

I don't know, I didn't get my number.

I got your dirty laundry.

I got your dirty laundry over here.

Bro, who is you?

Hold on, I'm laughing.

On my face.

I want to ask you one more question.

I want one person right here and that person for the rest.

Okay, stay in your car.

You like this?

Yeah.

Calling me from block number.

I ain't know a block number.

Do a tag.

Yeah, man, I heard your whole conversation.

Don't make me call the police.

Yeah, you know what's up.

I'm going to blackmail you.

So scared.

Jive turkey ass motherfucker, what's your problem now?

Jive turkey, you bitch.

You didn't hear, boy.

You jive turkey motherfucker.

Who you talking to, Sean?

What you doing?

Man, you can show me a place, dude.

I'm about to go whoop some motherfucking ass

because I don't even know who the fuck you talking about.

How much you going to charge, you guy?

Pick somebody up over here to attack you, damn.

Man, this ain't no motherfucking traffic, God.

You come fucking picking somebody up, I'm gonna whoop your goddamn ass.

I kicked your ass, you son of a bitch, you and your goddamn mother.

Your mother.

You motherfucking nigger, how you like that, you piece of shit?

I'm not a fucking nigger, I'm a bitch.

You nigger motherfucker.

How you like it, man?

What?

Man, I'm a motherfucking bitch that pried a goddamn phone.

This is a white man that don't want to hear from no goddamn niggers

calling me in the fucking middle of the night.

This is, this is boy, this is boy, this is boy.

Look, let me just ask you real quick.

First of all, why don't you shut the hell up?

Fuck you, you stupid bitch.

What the fuck are you doing, man?

Stay sick and take the street.

Yeah, get to the K, yo.

You know, just dip a wing in your pocket and run it up to me.

Yeah, but I'm only one over here.

I cannot drop a chicken on you.

We would give you a couple hundred dollars, though.

Even though, guys.

Are you ready?

I wish I was the governor.

Just pretend I'm sitting on you, okay?

No problem?

Okay.

I don't got to go.

Ah!

Yeah.

Oh, I got to go.

Please do wash your hands.

Yeah.

Some kind of life you have where you have to do this stuff.

so this is a very interesting radio you have very interesting radio thing if you have that you know

because like that's um it just shows me that you have like nothing going no i got plenty this is

what we do man i do this all the time i get lots of what you do like talk stupid yeah yeah really

huh people actually listen to this shit people everybody looks at shit man oh hey not everybody

because anybody with a half a brain that i know don't listen anybody half a brain would listen

to this show instead of eating your shitty ass pizza how old are you 13 yeah fucking right you

You sound like you're fucking 18 or 19.

I'm 13, I said.

Yeah, right.

Yes, I was born 13 years ago last Friday.

I'm hanging up, and you better not call.

Do you have stripes in your underwear?

Do I have what?

Stripes in your underwear.

You are a sick fuck.

Come on, let me talk to your sister, man.

Be a pal.

No!

Have you ever seen your sister naked?

No!

Calls (14, 21 min of 1 h 19 min)

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