2006-08-31 Show

You are listening to a replay of Madhouse Radio.

Well, I think you should fucking hang up

or I'm going to find out who you are

and punch your fucking face in.

How's that?

Be sure to visit us online at madhouselive.com.

And here are all three, four of us, technically.

Did that just send you he's horny?

What did he say?

He said he's horny.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Okay, I'm sorry.

I thought he said I'm so horny.

I wouldn't put that up up to dead.

Up to dead.

Crazy poor to dead.

Hey, everybody.

Good evening.

Madhouse Radio.

Smoke weed every day.

Oh, the mics are too loud again.

Hey, everybody.

Carlito here reporting to you live Thursday, August the 31st, 10.07 p.m.

Eastern Standard Time.

Clone Homegrown taking a hit already.

That's cool, man.

Clone Homegrown from Texas.

What's up, man?

How you doing, bro?

Smoking the weed every day.

Yeah.

Taking the front billing for milk, man.

That's cool, man.

Good to have you on.

Clone Homegrown's here with us via satellite on Lincoln, of course, and other than three-time domino champion of the Caribbean, the Milkman.

The Milkman, what's up, man?

How you doing?

Hey, what's up, man?

Nothing, man.

Glad to be here, man.

Glad to have you here.

Hey, man, we got a great show.

Oh, yeah.

Wait, man, we're going to fire it up, man.

Yeah.

Y'all hold on to your little panties because it's going to be a good one.

It's a fired up show.

Big old daddy car, he's got something good for you.

It is.

It's a fired up show.

It's going to be a big event tonight, that's for sure.

We got a lot to talk about.

Yes, sir.

Let's not.

That's for damn sure.

Dropping dimes, as I said earlier tonight.

We'll be dropping dimes tonight.

Oh, yeah.

Never dropped a dime in my life.

Well, good.

Good.

You have that to say.

But, you know, dropping dimes can mean a few things.

You guys are smoking dimes.

Pennies, man.

Pennies.

But, you know, dropping dimes can mean you're going to narc someone out.

Dropping dimes can mean you're just going to talk the shit out about somebody or some

people or something that happened.

And you know what?

I think we'll be doing that tonight.

You guys are smoking dimes.

Yay.

Yeah, well, yeah.

Well, I smoke more than a dime.

I smoke more than a dime a day.

I don't know what you're talking about.

We're doing whatever we need to do.

Go down to the gold, baby.

Yep, down to the brass.

I just want to get rolls up a dime whenever he packs one up.

Yeah.

Milkman smoked a dime.

A dime costs a dime.

Not anymore.

It costs less than a dime, man.

An ounce costs $15, guys.

Can you imagine an ounce costing $15?

I mean, that's just flammable.

$15.15.

Yeah, but Clone, you were growing it.

It probably just cost you $10 to make it.

Come on, man.

Yeah, it was free for you when you were growing it.

It was free, but maybe I shouldn't be talking about that.

I'm sorry.

Yeah.

30 pounds every eight weeks.

Damn, really?

Are you serious?

Wow, that's a nice harvest, man.

That's some good money.

That's some good scratch.

Wow, man.

Living the dream indeed.

Clone Homegrown living the American dream.

Oh, man.

What do you think?

We got an extra room here.

Make some pocket change.

You know?

No, that's okay.

I'd be too scared to do that, man.

Shiny braces aren't a lot of fun, man.

Yeah, that's true.

We don't want those.

No, that's why I did it in Alaska.

It's almost legal.

In Alaska, really?

Okay, so that's why I did it there.

Yeah, like 25 plants is a misdemeanor.

That's not bad.

Okay, so pretty much me and a small-time local grower will get you a misdemeanor if you get caught.

That's not bad.

It's like six months in jail.

Yeah.

But you didn't know it was probation.

Well, the first one you could probably, yeah, exactly.

The first time you could probably get away with it, you know.

Well, not too long.

So not having to do the time, maybe probation and what they call it, pre-trial intervention.

Yeah.

So probation, I don't know if you know.

You don't have to say that you know, but if you've heard.

Well, you've got to pass a drug test every month, right?

Isn't that how it goes?

At least once a month?

Yeah, I've heard that.

Shit.

You've heard that?

Okay.

You've got to pass a drug test every month?

Yeah, man.

I hear a lot about violation of probation a lot.

That's the thing.

A lot of the brothers get things for you.

Oh, yeah, okay.

I hear that a lot.

Violation of probation, and you hear that.

Trespassing.

My last month of probation was in jail.

Well, that sucks.

We don't want that.

We don't want none of that.

We'll have none of that.

None of that at all here we will have.

You let me know, and Milkman will bail you out.

He'll Western Union some money right over to Texas for you.

Ain't that right, Milkman?

He'll hire me to do it.

Yeah.

So, great.

We're here.

It's Madhouse Radio.

We are alive.

We're live and alive, and you can reach us tonight if you want to email us at madhouseradio at gmail.com, madhouseradio at gmail.com.

You can also communicate through the chat room by visiting our homepage, madhouselive.com.

Again, that's madhouselive.com.

You can also join that over at kdkprankcalls.com, kdkprankcalls.com.

and if you're just using an irc uh client milkman will tell you right now how you can connect that

way go ahead milkman take it away i think milkman fell asleep we lost milkman so i'll chime in with

milkman you fall in you're there milkman had a heart attack milkman got attacked by his cat

something happened to milkman okay well we'll wait for milkman to come back but um irc.lazy

dash net excuse me uh dot de again that's irc dot lazy dash net dot de if you want to reach us

uh reach the chat room that is and using an irc client so there it is uh plenty of people in the

chat room yes yeah milkman would have messed it up home like i really hope that's what happened

maybe he had to go take a diarrhea shit or something help is all right um i don't know

Hopefully he makes it out okay.

Hopefully everything comes out okay for him tonight.

I dropped my poker.

Hey, guys.

In the chat room, we've got plenty of people.

I want to thank everybody who's joining us in there, of course,

none other than the man himself, Lonesome Loser,

who is confirming a lot of numbers in there already,

and we'll get to those later.

Yeah, I'm here, man.

There you are.

What the hell happened to you, man?

Taking a shit?

Okay.

Man, he's really behind if he's just hearing this.

I think he's listening to us on the stream.

Wow, Milkman.

man. Wow. I'm disappointed in you. Um, India. No, it's not. I'll work on that now. I'm working

on it. Okay. There you go. Cool. Good. Women, women are useful for something. Hey, can you

light the cigar for me? Venus? And I had like, stop talking for like three minutes. Oh, you

can't, right? Cause you'd be tempted to turn back to the nicotine habit. I'll do that.

That's okay. You don't want to. You look at it like it's a penis. Like, yeah, I can put

it in my mouth, but do I really want to? Where's it been? I know that look. Yeah,

yeah i know that look from from my girl it's like yeah i guess i could if i had to put it in my

mouth i mean yeah what were you looking for a pen okay that okay don't point you can talk it's okay

people aren't gonna hear you excuse me uh so yes the show is ready and milkman left i guess he

might be rebooting it's okay he'll join us shortly everybody milkman will be back but

i'm in the chat room and i'm trying to say uh just to give a shout out to everybody in there

like i said before um oh yeah my status is away thank you uh to jonathan in the uh in the chat

room who just reminded me that uh my chat my status on my messengers are away i am back and

that is now fixed um jonathan of course is in there as well as on some movies i was saying to

dad the dead saying that he needs to whack off to porn that's great go to uh go to some website

where that could be taken care of for you i'm sure you know where to go pornotube.com right

Right, Athena?

Your favorite website.

The website of the week from Athena.

Plumpers.com.

Okay, Plumpers.com, too.

That's also right.

Clay is in there saying everyone is confused after last night.

I guess so.

Jill Rosenthal chimed in with it was chaos.

Yeah, that, too.

Sun Runner is in the chat room.

Never seen Sun Runner before, but welcome to our family.

It is embarrassing sometimes, but it is what it is.

It is now 10.15 p.m. Eastern Standard Time.

If you're on AOL Instant Messenger, reach me at Madhouse Radio.

Again, AOL Instant Messenger users, reach me at Madhouse Radio.

Yahoo Messenger, Madhouse PCU Radio.

MSN Messenger, it is working, good.

MadhousePCURadio at Hotmail.com.

And that's about it.

You can also join us toll-free on the telephone.

If you have a phone, you can call free of charge anywhere in the 48.

Well, you can actually call anywhere from the 50 states.

and that line is open to canada as well on a uh on a monitored basis we can't have people

calling from canada too much because it gets expensive but we can do that milkman's back

yeah what's up milkman let me know if you're all right good we got you welcome back bro welcome

back milkman welcome back welcome back yes man the company leaves there they pulled up around me

i'm back all right good to have you back god damn it um what else have we done the toll free

line is going to be uh 1-888-278-8509 that line is not open at this time we will open it we

normally open it sometime after 11 p.m eastern standard time uh that would be 8 p.m eastern

standard time for all you folks on the east coast on the west coast that is rather or uh or 10 p.m

where uh where uh clone homegrown is from over in the uh in the central standard time uh so what

What should we talk about, guys?

What happened recently in PC that we should talk about?

I'm out of the loop.

Oh, man.

Where do you want to start at?

For once, I'm not out of the loop tonight, guys.

I know what's going on.

Oh, my God.

Where's the drama of the game?

Yeah, where does the drama?

Well, I'll tell you what.

Go ahead, Milkman.

Let us know.

Give me a rundown.

Give us a rundown.

Just a rundown.

My favorite show, my favorite show, is Psychobabble.

Every Wednesday, man, this is one of the most dramatic shows there is on PC.

These are the most dramatic, I'd have to say.

Well, as usual, it never failed to satisfy.

I was listening to this week's episode, and I'll be darned if the whole house didn't catch on fire, man.

I mean, the place was burning down.

PCU Central was on fire.

K-Bone took off, ran for the gas station.

KDK was in there fanning the flames.

Lego, Azor was calling in, man.

They had gas on the fire.

I'll tell you what, it was a scene, man.

Man, the house is burning down, man.

Burning down the house.

That's right.

The roof is on fire.

We don't need no water because we let the motherfucker burn.

Clone, that's right.

Clone.

The motherfucker was burning.

Clone, and finish it up.

Burn, motherfucker.

Burn.

There it is.

Burn, motherfucker, burn.

Thank you.

We need that song.

We don't have that song.

We need that song, everybody.

Clone, how long did you stay up last night, Clone, listening to all that malarkey?

Certainly the whole time.

Oh, that sucks.

I'm sorry to hear that.

I just wanted to make sure everything was all right.

You were worried.

You couldn't go.

So in the end, what?

Okay, so in the end, Dr. Lego.

In the end, they had gay sex and came all over each other.

In the end, Zolar and Dr. Lego make up with KDK, right?

Is that how it is?

Yeah.

Basically, they came back into the fold.

They realized the error of their wisdom.

Yeah.

And they sought guidance, and they rejoined TCU, and it seemed that the unity in the whole was greater than the individual limbs, that their branch would die without us, TCU.

All right.

Fair enough.

So, yeah, I did hear all this.

Actually, here's what happened.

I went to sleep around the time.

I was kind of – I had a few drinks.

Athena, while we went out to dinner, right, I had a few gin and tonics, right?

I came back, had about maybe a few beers.

and of course i'm on pills so they it doesn't take much for me to get a little sauce and i was

yeah no it's it's i have a prescription but um you know smoking a little bit and everything and

you know get to listening and and i'm in there you know just listening away and i you know i

what i had an interview today right athena so we went to bed around one it was late i wanted to go

to bed at 12 at the latest stayed up until one couldn't stay up anymore started up the stream

ribbers and um and holy shit if the whole thing didn't end at 230 and and lego says that it was

a whole bullshit thing now what happened okay so for what i understand i heard everything on both

sides of the table and uh katie is is the the start of it all that kdk was saying that his rank

of of the talent on pcu was um was himself then then me right as number two number three yeah

It was Zolar or something, number four.

The list changed about maybe five times within three hours.

KDK was on the spot.

Yeah.

He was on the bottle, too.

He was on the bottle.

Oh, yeah.

He drank all the alcohol in the house, from what I understand.

There was no alcohol left in his house.

They were definitely slamming some shot vodka.

It was.

And it was a good show, and I have it all.

It was a good show.

It was good entertainment.

But let me just play.

Okay, now, here's what perturbs me about the whole situation, okay?

And here's what I'm not too happy about.

I get embroiled in this.

Let me give you my side of the story.

Athena can attest to this.

Athena's next to me, and she's nodding in agreement, right?

There she goes, nodding, just like I said.

A good woman does.

Hi, Athena.

Milkman, she says hi, Milkman.

We went to bed at 1, right?

We went to bed right when KDK got kicked off.

About 1.30, right?

Let's say 1.20, whatever.

We didn't listen at all

to what happened

when Dr. Lego

kicks KDK off of PCU.

KDK. Midstream.

Midstream. KDK decides.

KDK has the information for

the Madhouse radio stream where we're

being listened to now.

64K radio brought to you by me.

That's over at MadhouseLive.com.

Courtesy of the Madhouse.

It's a first come, first serve

basis and it's on an official stream

so please don't spread that around but whatever that's wrong and there's yeah this we have 17

people listening right now over there but anyway and i attribute that to what happened last night

probably that's probably what happened last night and i know that probably doesn't make kdk happy

but hey it does suck but anyway so kdk goes to my he kdk has information for my stream i've let

him know since the time i got it back in in fucking december i said kdk yeah if anything

thing ever happens that you need

to find another stream to go to in an

emergency, here's the

password, here's the instructions to log into

my stream. You can get

20 listeners,

you can broadcast on whatever

bitrate you want, it doesn't have to be stereo, whatever

you want to do, you go ahead and do it.

So, sure enough, last night

that emergency comes, and he

enacts the Madhouse Emergency Radio

Network, and it worked like a charm.

He was able to keep broadcasting until

2 or 3 in the morning on it, and that was

that's very good uh then i catch flack apparently i and i'll have this isolated but apparently what

happens is dr lego and zolar and and his friend great scott who we'll talk about as well um decide

to take over pcu okay and they start doing their own show and they're dissing kdk and they're

dissing everybody else and they're naming names and they're talking about shit and then they start

start talking about me and i'm asleep ladies and gentlemen i am a gentleman and ladies rather

i am asleep at this point okay because i need to go to an interview tomorrow i'm recently

unemployed i have a life outside of pcu okay bottom line milkman does clone kind of does we

all do have a life outside of pcu we live in in the thing called the real world here ladies and

gentlemen believe it or not there is a real world there's a lot of you who don't listen to pcu until

Until 9, 10 o'clock at night for the live shows.

And you know what that real world is.

It's where you work and you make money and you pay bills and you hide from creditors.

And you try not to speed when the police are around.

And shit like that.

That's where we all live.

And I was dealing with that.

I had something to do in the real world.

I had to go back to the real world.

I was taking care of what Carlito needs to take care of.

At 2 o'clock.

You had to rest.

Yeah.

well here's the thing that i don't appreciate number one well about 1 30 in the morning i'm

just finally you know getting into my thing right athena we're you know taking it easy getting ready

to to reflect and go to sleep and sure enough here comes a phone call from dr lego now i stated in

the chat room several times last time i don't want to be involved with the pussy faggot shit i don't

want to be involved with the drama i don't want to be involved with the he said she said all that

that bullshit i'm not into it i don't want to do i don't want to deal with it okay don't call me

at 1 30 in the morning for shit okay because i don't want to deal with it he's lego's lucky

okay and this is lego calling me to put me on the air so he can debate with me about me going

whether or not i'm going to go with kdk or lego number one don't call me at that time in the

morning for that bullshit because i'm not going to be in the mood he's lucky i didn't pick up

up the phone and curse him and Zolar

and fucking great Scott

Wigger out. Honestly.

Fucking lucky, number one. Man's got to rest.

Number two. Man's got to rest, damn it.

Number two, here's the theme of the night.

I make the fucking decisions around here.

This is my show, with the

exception of the involvement of Milkman,

number two, and Clone Homegrown,

number three. We all make the

fucking decisions on here. We make the decisions

on what kind of show we're going to do,

how many pranks we're going to do,

what kind of pranks we're going to do. If we're even

even gonna do fucking pranks in a night we'll make the decisions here i'm number one chiefly

backed up by my two brothers here on the air that's how we do it around here okay dr lego

doesn't tell me dr lego doesn't dictate where i'm gonna be what time i'm gonna be and how i'm

gonna be neither does kdk neither the zolar neither does anybody else so let me handle that

okay that let let us handle that let me chiefly handle that okay number one number two that's

That's right.

That's your right.

Number two, I already said, if I'm going to pick sides in this little petty bullshit of you guys,

number one, I don't fucking care.

Number two, I'm going to go with KDK.

Because fucking KDK is the guy that gave me the shot on here.

He's the guy that originally gave me the shot here.

And that's who I'm going to side with.

I live in a world where I actually have loyalty to people who deserve my loyalty.

I'm not a fair weather fan, as it may be.

So that's how it goes.

That's what I say.

KDK's always stuck by us.

exactly don't put me in a position number number two where i'm gonna have to make a fucking choice

and this goes towards kdk don't put me in a position where you know if i'm gonna want to

be on both streams i can't be in both streams i'll do whatever the fuck i want because it's

my show if you don't like it pull the fucking plug on it lego if you don't like it i don't

know if you're listening but if you don't like it pull the fucking plug on my show you don't have

to play my show i have plenty of other people i have three streams that i run on not including

Including my own stream, okay?

There you have it.

It's not the end of the world if Lego doesn't want me to be on.

He likes me, that's fine.

But don't fuck with me, okay?

Here's the next point that I have to bring.

Oh, my God.

And I thank you, Milkman, for bringing this up.

When things get too close to home, and when I need to say something,

and when I need to take the thing serious,

it's something like this right here that happened last night.

Okay, faggot.

Number one.

What the fuck was that?

I understand Zohar saying whatever he wants to say.

That's just him going, you know,

We ban her back and forth like that.

No big deal.

He's referring to the April Fool's show that we did where he called me a spig on the air,

and I pretended I got pissed off, and then KDK pretended to fire Zolar and blah, blah, blah.

It was planned out a couple weeks in advance.

Yeah, exactly.

All of it.

All parties involved.

It was.

That's fine.

Okay, fine.

No problem.

That's funny.

Zolar and me are cool in that sense.

But Dr. Lego, I don't know why he's involving me in bullshit like that.

that i really don't i you know i really have little patience for shit like that okay fuck you

dr lego if you're gonna say some shit like that seriously keep my personal life call me a fat ass

yeah i'm a fat ass doc you know kdk says it all the time i don't give a shit but when you're

attacking somebody who i you know who's special to me who i care about she has nothing to do with

it okay if kdk wants to do that to kim no problem what the fuck did i have to do with that honestly

What the fuck?

Why are you involving me in some petty bullshit like that?

I've been thinking until they called me.

Exactly.

Why are you going to start shit with me?

There's no reason for it.

There is no call for it.

What is he...

Fuck, you know.

Again, I'll make the fucking decisions.

If they want to push their ratings, let them keep it over there on their own, their little

pigsty, man, because that shit stinks, man.

Yeah.

Well, KDK had the information to use my stream, and he used it because he had to.

Zolar has that information, too.

he doesn't understand how to implement it

so he has it

Joop every week uses my stream

so he can archive his show in stereo

just like I do

Lego has

I know for a fact

I've sent Lego the information

for my stream if you ever had to use it

he has no need for it because he has

fucking more web space than God

or whatever the fuck he says

so Milkman

what are your thoughts on this whole situation

so we can move on

Man, I think that everybody needs to cool out, and I think that fighting and trying to make a big dramatic stink on the air every week is not good radio.

People get tired of it.

It's just like watching a couple drunken people fight every night.

After the second or third time, you're ready to slam the door and just call the police and tell them to haul these bastards away.

Let's stop all the bullshit.

shit let's get back to the family that we all are man and we're all a great group man

amongst pcu i seek it i ask i implore upon the intelligence that remains with all the people

who follow pcu let's get away from all the drama for howard stern let's be pcu let's have fun

let's provide a good service to our listeners and what come what may we ain't gotta be millionaires

have fun it's about right not money right okay and let me add this here real quick let me cut

cut the music milkman please if you don't mind real quick let me let me calm down and say this

here now dr lego and your ilk okay what you did last night you pass it off to katie k as a joke

as some big fucking thing that you have planned out ahead of time between you and others to get

to katie k to get under her skin as some kind of weekly fucking drama thing here's what i have to

to say you can't fool me okay i'm not that i'm not that gullible i'm not as forgiving as kdk is

and i know what you did last night sir was not a joke was not a ruse and was not a bit for

fucking internet radio for the 32 people who are listening right now on pcu i know that's

bullshit i know what you did was on your own volition for whatever you wanted to do and you

you realize it was a bunch of shit and at the last minute you decided to kowtow to kdk and apologize

and pass it up as some kind of fucking thing it wasn't a joke lego i'm not as forgiving and i'm

not as well humored as kdk is i may seem to come across as a nice guy when we come down when it

comes down to it you fucked up dude and that's fucked up okay that's all i have to say i don't

hold anything against you you don't have to call in my show anymore if you don't want to

don't call into my show to talk shit about me

and don't call into the show to start problems

because again this is my show

and I'll make the decisions

on who and what I want

on the show and who's going to be

talking about what on the show

if you want to call into the show

you want to do a prank

you want to talk about what's going on

you want to talk about what's up with the show

that's cool if you want to talk shit

expect to get hung up on

because again as I said this is my show

it's not your show because it's your stream

It's not KDK's show because it's his station

And it's not Zolar's show

Because he's better than me

And you know what to be honest with you

I believe Zolar is a better prank caller than me

And he runs a better show than me

I'll be honest with you

I enjoy Zolar he's my favorite show on PCU

Milkman again it's my decision

I'm sure you have your bias

You think this is the best show

And sure I think this is the best show on PCU

And I put Zolar even

If not maybe a little ahead of me

And that's my honest opinion

After that I'll put KDK

and after that, it goes however it goes.

And after that, it's none of your fucking business, everybody, okay?

If you want to know, talk to me in private.

If you seem cool, if I know you, I'll tell you who I think is the worst.

Lego.

But other than that, you know.

Excuse me.

I burped.

There it is.

Cloned, any ideas about that?

What do you say?

Who do you think is.

I'd say save the drama for your mama.

Save the drama.

And just let it be.

Yeah.

Save the drama for your mama.

Yeah.

All right, I think the people want prank calls here, huh?

I think we're done with that.

Are we on PC still?

We're still on PC.

You know, the thing is, Dr. fucking Jewbag isn't on AOL right now, so he's probably not even listening.

So whatever, you know?

Oh, he's probably listening.

Dr. Suckbag isn't listening right now.

His kids will be reliant.

Whatever.

Well, you know what?

It'll be on the podcast.

If he can figure out how to run a podcast.

I know he has an iPod.

If he can figure out how to put a podcast on it, then I'll be more than happy to make this available for him.

It'll be on this weekend.

Wow, I love Lego, man.

Whatever.

But Lego needs to just chill out, man.

It's just too much now, man.

He's taking it too easy, man.

This is, like, way worse than the Ted days, man.

I'm telling you, man.

Dr. Lego, I've been here since Ted was the man, since KDK, since Sean.

I've been here for a couple years now and a while, man.

And since you came on, I love you.

I've always told you I'm a great fan of yours.

But I don't know what's gotten into you lately, man.

And I'm really kind of alarmed because it's going to cost the community to split.

It's gay.

We don't have enough listeners.

We don't have enough listeners to need to be driving them off with this.

So, man, let's just come back together.

Do your show, whatever day you're supposed to do it.

I don't know.

Is it Friday or is it Monday or Tuesday or whatever?

I'm always glad to hear you.

And let's just let bygones be bygones, man.

Let's just calm down.

We don't have to tell everybody I'm better.

It's like this.

Okay, let me just tell you one time.

It's like Neapolitan ice cream.

There's three flavors.

You've got chocolate, you've got strawberry, you've got vanilla, man.

They're all the same thing, man.

Neapolitan.

Which one's the best?

Well, when I'm in a mood that I want to just kind of kick back, man, I want chocolate, man.

Yeah.

Well, if I'm feeling like really happy, man, I might go strawberry, man.

If I just feel like I want to slide back to mellow, man, I'll just go on to some vanilla.

So which one's the best?

It just depends on my mood.

It depends on your mood.

and like I said

last week

is it Lego the best

is it Dalar the best

is it KDK

it depends

it depends what you want

and just mix it all up

make ice cream soup

like I said last week

ice cream soup is the best

smoke more weed

and chill the fuck out

right

what clone said

clone has

you gotta listen to clone

because he's living the dream

everybody

he knows the secret of life

is smoking more weed

and chilling the fuck out

smoke a mass amount of weed

daily

and take

take at least one shit daily

cause you have to do that

sometimes too

Sometimes two, depending on how much cheese and fiber you've been eating, you know?

I love the cheese, man.

Chalk cheese, man.

Don't get me started on cheese.

We talked about cheese on the afternoon show.

Gouda cheese.

Yeah.

I'll stick with my Munster cheese.

Gouda, man.

There's nothing like it.

Stay away from Breed, man.

That shit's nasty.

Oh, that's nasty?

No, you got to eat your Munster cheese, man.

What do you...

And again...

I like the Gouda cheese, too.

And again, guys...

Breed comes with mold.

Again, guys, in the end, the Madhouse Radio show has started a controversy and it's ended on a food conversation.

What a great show this is.

I got the munchies, my man.

Yeah, we got the munchies.

That's why.

There it is.

So I think that's it.

Dave's not here.

Yeah, Dave's not here, man.

Zolar is checking in on AOL Instant Messenger.

He says, I better say it on the air.

Zolar has told me in the past he loves Carly.

Yes, he has.

Zolar does love this show.

He has said plenty of times that this is his favorite show on the show, on the station.

Zolar's a local kid in that house, and a very welcome friend.

He is a welcome friend, and he's a good friend of the show.

Yes, he is.

That's correct.

Absolutely correct.

Zolar's a good friend of the show.

What Zolar said on that clip.

I was even on his show the other night.

Oh, yeah, you were on the Skype show, and I told him, man, that was a good show.

I listened to it, except for the amount of time where I had to go out to buy beer for the hurricane, right?

We went out to buy beer for the hurricane, and if you can, you can't hire us.

Yeah, we got beer.

We're drinking it now because the fucking hurricane was a four-hour thunderstorm.

You know, Andy told me that they've gotten worse weather in Illinois and Chicago than we got here from that stupid hurricane.

They've been getting rain for the last three days.

When I was in Alaska, the winds and shit would come down off the mountain like 70, 75 miles an hour.

Exactly, man.

Man, people panic.

They just want you to go to the store and spend money.

But here's what Zolar says.

You know, yes, he loves the show.

We love Zolar.

We all like Zolar a lot.

He's a good friend of ours, and he's always a welcome guest to call in and whatever.

I don't include him in the whole thing.

He's telling me here, and I'll tell you real quick.

We're going to run this down so we can finish this shit up so we can get to fucking prank calls.

Because people who listen to podcasts aren't going to have a goddamn idea what we're talking about.

And people listening on T-Big Radio have no idea what we're talking about.

We have 67 listeners right now on our extended Madhouse Radio Network,

and about half of those people don't have any idea what we're talking about.

So let's hurry this shit up.

It's almost 40 minutes into the show.

And again, here's what he says.

He says it was all a big prank.

Lego was setting this up from two weeks ago.

KDK pissed Lego off when he said something about his wife.

Let me make a point about that.

That, number one, KDK was accused of calling Kim a cunt, okay?

That didn't happen.

I heard the replay of it.

I have a copy of it here.

I listened to it several times today.

He never called her a cunt.

He said, fine, I got to go.

What did he say?

Go suck a dick or something like that?

He said something to that effect.

He didn't call her the C word, man.

He just had to go take a piss, and this stupid woman gets on the damn phone

because she can't mind her own business.

That's what it is.

Lego says enough stuff about her, and they always joke around about it.

I don't understand how come all of a sudden it was a sensitive moment

when normally he talks much worse about her.

And I think she's great, and I think Lego's great,

but I can't understand why all of a sudden there was a big difference in the whole thing.

Yeah.

Whatever, man.

Anyway, moving on.

Sorry.

Yeah, it's okay.

I understand.

That was the only thing that was real.

Athena is a man.

I don't know what that means.

It's a woman, maybe.

He's a bitch.

That's it.

I'll play your show on every stream available.

No good to talk about the one you love.

I told KDK no good.

It's okay to goof on me, but not my kids.

Families fight all the time.

It's natural.

It really was a joke from the start.

It went out of control.

I don't believe that, Zolar.

I'm sorry.

I really don't buy that, okay?

You can cover for Lego if you want.

That's cool.

No disrespect to you, but I don't buy that from Lego, okay?

honestly that man all of our jokes man we let everybody in on it like lego is going to be

personal lego is not working on like three levels above us or something like that okay he's not the

fucking the fucking architect out of the fucking matrix or something he's not that smart he's not

stupid but he's not that super intelligent i'm superior to him as far as intelligence is concerned

um and he says you know i like to show the best i've said in the past and with the whole time

Yada, yada, yada.

Okay, so there it is.

Are we done with this now, folks?

Can we move on?

I've said...

I'm ready for a call.

Clone agrees.

Clone, why don't you lead us out with a...

Are you ready?

Are you loaded up for a bong rap real quick?

I can do, honey.

All right, good deal.

Here we go.

Smoke weed.

That's more like it.

Okay, that's more of the madhouse that we're used to listening to and used to enjoying.

Yeah.

All right, good.

Shit, yeah, it gruesome.

Welcome back from that small intermission.

We are ready to continue with the show now, regular listeners.

Let's do that.

Okay.

Crank away.

And the reason I changed the chat room to a voice only was because I've been instructed in the past,

if any shit like that goes down, to be sure that I put the chat room in lockdown so that no one can hijack it again.

That's the only reason I did that.

No more hijacking.

We will not allow that.

So that's the reason I did that.

It was a strenuous time.

We had no idea what was going to happen for a few hours there.

You know, we didn't know if we were in some trouble, so...

People were kicking operators out and stuff.

It was getting pretty crazy.

Exactly, so we can't have that.

That's not an acceptable practice in the ECU chat.

Nope.

I took it off.

The IRC lockdown was a required thing.

You did the exact thing you're supposed to do.

I did exactly what I had to do according to my manual passed down to me from KDK himself.

Jonathan says...

That's the official PCU manual.

Exactly, and we all have a copy of that.

The clone of yours is on the way.

Anyway, Jonathan says, hey, Jonathan says, hey, hey, man, I got another prank for you.

Call my stepmom.

Her name is Rebecca.

Her number is 8 5 0 6 9 8 2 7 5 6.

Oh, why did I just give that number?

Oh, shit.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, no.

Oh, shit.

OK, nobody.

Nobody call that.

I said the wrong number.

Yeah.

What number?

Oh, I just fucked Jonathan up so bad.

888-

What was it?

888-278-8509.

That's what it is.

That's what I thought you said.

Oh, man.

888-278-8509.

8509.

That's what I said.

No one had a chance to write that, man.

Do a down call, but don't answer until we're ready.

888-278-8509.

I'm sorry, Jonathan, dude.

I'm so fucking sorry.

Whatever you do, do not give them $10 this time, man.

They figured it out.

You're on Google, man.

You've made Google.

That's fucking something there for the blooper reel for the show, man.

You know what I mean?

Oh, man.

Anyway, hey.

But seriously, bro, do not give out the 800 number to the victim anymore, man.

No.

That's not wise to us.

Dude, we got an email.

We got an email back from Chink All About It.

Did I tell you about that?

I know Milkman, I told you.

Clone, we got an email back.

We prank called that lady Chink All About It.

And I gave her the 420 show the other day.

Yeah, exactly.

We'll be doing one maybe tomorrow.

I'm not sure yet.

that's going to be a last minute decision

but if I'm allowed to do a show

on the PC you stream so after what I said about

Lego but whatever like I said pull the plug if you want

and Jonathan I'm really sorry

about that dude but

oh shit

just call her and tell her hey leave your phone off the hook

yeah that's what it did

that's what did it

what the hell was I talking about

what was I talking about

you said that you won't give it out in the air no more

or give it out to the listeners

okay okay that's right um we got an email back from a lady uh who we prank called and she had

a good sense of humor she said uh what did she say yeah what did she say exactly i got the email

here somewhere um i gotta i gotta pull that up for you guys so you guys can hear that here she

said i like she said um i like i like the call said but you shouldn't have said i'm sexy and

that wouldn't you sound like a sexy lady and she said um she said she didn't buy it after that

Hang on.

Here we go.

I got it right here in front of me.

The stream is probably skipping because I'm pulling it up.

Here's her words.

Thanks for the prank phone call.

Next time, don't refer to me as a sexy lady and I might believe you.

Hope your show is doing as well as our business.

Co-owner of Chinkabout It.

Her name and co-owner of Chinkabout It.

We'll keep her anonymous.

I sent her an email back.

If I could put her email on the website, madhouselive.com, anonymously.

She hasn't responded to me.

She probably doesn't want it, so I won't.

I respect that.

But I thanked her for a sense of humor.

Just change the name, protect the guilty.

Yeah, but I thanked her for a sense of humor and for not calling the cops on me.

That's really appreciated.

I really appreciate that.

Ms. Chink, that's very great.

Someone's trying to call in.

Maybe it's Zola.

Yeah.

Anyway, again, I'm really sorry about that.

Shityes says Carlito is smashed already.

He laughs out loud and he says,

Smashed creative.

I don't get that.

I dropped my cigar, but it wasn't lit.

Don't worry if you didn't.

Okay.

We're ready for prank calls then, right?

We're about to.

Yeah.

All right.

Here we go.

Lonesome Loser sitting in numbers for Madhouse Tattoo.

The Madhouse.

The Madhouse Cafe.

Mahoney's Madhouse Pub and Grill.

We got Lucky Poon.

The Jizz Biz.

Wow.

We got a few Chinese.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Here's one.

We got Blunt Logging in Iowa.

An old guy answered.

We've got Craps, Inc.

We've got Doofus Rufus the Clown.

We have Mango Fool.

We've got Foolish Craig's Cafe, Mad Fool Games.

Here's one for Milkman, El Lachero Milkman in Los Angeles, a Mexican guy.

Milkman the Butcher, apparently.

Nice.

Looking out for me.

Thank you there, Mr. Luton.

You're a hard-working man, BCU.

That's right.

And we also have, hey, man, Milkman Grocery Home Delivery.

There you go.

Watch out, Milkman.

We also have in the theme of the hurricane that was nothing here, Ernesto's.

We've got two of those, and we have an Ernesto Motel in Coral Gables, Florida.

And there it is.

What else can I say?

That's a few numbers to get pregnant.

Yeah, we have plenty to work with.

And if you want to send your numbers again, be sure to send them to us.

I gave out the information earlier.

AOL Instant Messenger, Madhouse Radio.

radio join the chat room or email madhouse radio at gmail.com again the email is madhouse radio

at gmail.com let's do a prank everybody what are you guys thinking what are you guys feeling

milkman you want to call your grocery home delivery do one man do you want to call the

do you want to call the grocery home delivery uh we could do that man remember i can't get on

the air so do it well i'm saying you can you know we could we can you can call in and we

Call the hotline if you want.

Anyway, Skull and Bones on AOL Instant Messenger.

Okay, he what?

He just joined.

Oh, we're good for Zolar.

Good to see you here, Zolar.

Zolar is joining the chat room.

Skull and Bones says, drama, drama.

I'm glad I only listen to you.

Hello, Athena.

We all have a life until Madhouse Radio comes on.

That's nice.

And no disrespecting, one of the greatest hosts on PCU is me.

That's what he says.

So there it is.

Excellent.

Yay.

Super.

See, we have the support.

We have the support, everybody.

People like us and what we do.

Okay, damn it, man.

I've never had listeners on my private stream.

That's a beautiful thing.

And we haven't done a prank call yet.

Oh, look at this, man.

We got the Problem Gambling Helpline also.

That is too much.

I got to call that.

Hang on.

Let's call the Problem Gambling Helpline.

Let me run off and do that real quick.

Yeah.

Yeah, man.

I'm going to call the Problem Gambling Helpline, everybody.

Here comes the first prank call of the night

This is Led Zeppelin

Bing, bing, bing

Okay, those aren't working

We're going to have to move on, Flatline

Sorry, we tried

Try to confirm your numbers next time

Confirm your numbers

How rude of me

Guys, you there?

Milkman, you with me?

Hell yeah, man

Awesome, awesome

Okay, let's move on

Who did I say before?

We're going to call Milkman Grocery Home Delivery, where a woman answered.

This is in California, everybody.

Milkman Grocery Home Delivery.

Stand by.

Next prank call is coming up.

The first prank call hasn't been.

How are you doing?

Good.

Is this the Milkman Grocery Home Delivery?

It's just after hours, so I didn't answer correctly.

Did I catch you at a bad time?

Were you in the bathroom or something?

I was vacuuming.

I never did the proper answer.

Vacuuming?

Me.

Oh, wow.

You're really eager to please, aren't you, ma'am?

You sound like a nice lady.

My name is Ernesto Garcia, and your grocery service, no chance I could get something delivered tonight, is there?

Man, I really need some NyQuil.

NyQuil?

Yeah, but I'm not sick.

You're sick?

No, I'm not.

But you need NyQuil?

Yeah, I got a problem.

What's that?

I keep drinking NyQuil like I tried it once, and it really dinged me up, you know?

I was sick, and ever since, I haven't been able to stop drinking.

I have to get my three-hour fix in NyQuil.

Who is this?

My name is Ernesto Garcia.

Really?

Yeah.

I found you guys, you know, a friend of mine told me, hey, call these people.

They deliver the home stuff.

I was wondering, I need like a pack of Newports, some NyQuil, and I don't know.

Can you swim by the McDonald's real quick?

No.

What can you do for me then?

Well, we deliver, our delivery service is different.

It's not like ordering a pizza, number one.

Okay, pepperoni?

No.

Oh.

This is what my friends and my family do to me, you know, what you're asking.

So I think it's a joke.

No, it's not a joke.

I'm serious.

I'm as serious as cancer.

Well, the website.

What is it?

Milkman.net.

You've got to be kidding me.

Well, no, that makes sense, right?

That's what I...

You know, never mind.

Go ahead, continue.

I'll tell you at the end of this.

Yeah.

Yeah. Our customers place orders off our website, and we deliver on a route-style basis.

So depending on where you are is what day of the week we deliver to you.

How much do you charge for this kind of service?

There's a $7 delivery charge, and there's a $40 minimum.

Okay, so you go to the grocery store, and I'll tell you, hey, I want some beans and stuff like that, and you'll get them?

Uh-huh.

Okay. So if I was really embarrassed and I didn't want to go out to buy condoms and tampons,

Would you, like, pick them up for us and stuff?

I don't know if condoms are actually at the grocery store where you can get them.

How can you not get condoms at the...

Absolutely.

What kind of world is this?

You can't get condoms at the grocery store.

I don't know, but they don't have them.

They're not on my website.

I know that.

Well, you can pick some up for me before you deliver it.

He shops at two stores in Fresno.

Yeah, but there's a gas station in between.

You can pick up some rubbers.

No, he doesn't do that.

What do you call condoms?

Rubbers?

Discs?

Latexes?

What do you call them?

Don't give up on me, come on

You're throwing me for a huge loop here, buddy

Do you smoke?

No

Did you used to smoke?

No

You sound like it

Well, I have allergies really bad

Oh, what are you allergic to, the moss pollen?

Yeah

Yeah? Cigarette smoke?

Yeah, that'll do it

Well, I'll let you in

Here's the thing that's going on

I do an internet radio show, right?

And we have a co-host named The Milkman

And we're looking for places called Milkman

And sure enough, there you are

And he's actually been trying to secure Milkman.net for a while.

Oh, is this what this harassment is all about?

No, it's not harassment.

It's a little...

Come on, bud.

It's a little bit of ribbing.

What's the big deal?

You can deal with it.

You live in California.

Don't you guys like liberals and stuff?

So...

Oh, not me.

Not you?

No.

Oh, man.

We're in the San Joaquin Valley, so it's a little different here than, say, like, L.A. or San Francisco.

Because you're rich white Jews?

No.

Oh, you're not Jewish?

No.

Are you Catholic?

Probably not.

I'm not going to answer that question.

Oh, come on.

If you're Catholic, you can't be Republican, you know.

Oh, really?

Is that the rule?

Yeah, because Democrat is the party of the Catholics.

Well, maybe I'm Catholic, but I go against all normalcy.

Why?

You're probably pro-life, aren't you?

Is that what it is?

That's why you do it, right?

That's why you're Republican, right?

I know you.

I know your kind.

No, that's really not it.

Yeah, right.

You're pro-life, so you're Republican.

You let that.

Okay, so the Milkman.net thing, is that what you're, all this is about is Milkman.net?

Well, we gave up on Milkman.com.

It's a porno site, so we decided to try to get Milkman.net.

Well, yeah, well, Milkman.com is a porno site now?

It's owned by some porno people in Australia.

Oh.

Yeah, imagine that.

And they won't sell it anyway because we've tried to buy it.

You have to?

Mm-hmm.

So did we.

We offered $35,000 and they wouldn't take it.

How many hills would do that?

Honestly, how much do you, if I can, you probably won't tell me.

But you won't tell me, like, what would you consider selling?

You know, that would be something I'd have to discuss with the other bot, with the other owner.

Yeah.

Before I could come up with a number.

Okay.

All right.

Well, hey, let me know.

You know, I can call you back sometime.

I don't want to harass you.

Oh, my God.

Well, you were kind of harassing.

I'm not trying to.

I'm just, you know, trying to be, you're a nice lady.

I like you.

I dig you.

You know, if I lived in California, then I might go ahead and order your service.

Where are you from?

I'm in Florida, actually.

Florida.

Yeah, but you're kind of far.

I mean, that's kind of expensive, $7 just to have you pick up.

$7 is kind of, you know, is, I don't think we've delivered to Florida yet, though.

I would hope not.

But, you know, then again, I think I have enough ability to actually drive to the grocery store

and pick up what I need instead of having it delivered to me.

Well, you'd be surprised.

Well, I'm not a rich, white Catholic myself, though.

I'm just a poor Puerto Rican college student, Catholic, who hasn't been to church in three months.

But hey, you know what? I used to be an altar boy.

So you're a fallen Catholic.

Not really. I really disagree with organized religion now, but I used to be an altar boy, and I was thinking about...

That's the thing. You've gone way to the other end. You should meet my sister.

But you want to know the truth, though? You want to know the truth? I was in a seminary in South Florida.

You were in a seminary?

For six months. I got kicked out.

You got kicked out. Well, I can imagine what the mouth you got.

No, I got...

You wouldn't get kicked out.

I got into a relationship with another person, and I was gambling, and they kicked me out.

And I was actually excommunicated from the church.

Okay.

I have, you know, my story, if you and me sat down and shared my life story, you would cry.

You would hug me.

Hug me.

Not too many people make me cry.

Well, my story is sad.

I'm pretty tough.

I was kicked out of the army, too.

Out of the army, too?

Yeah.

Because of a relationship?

Not really.

I kind of, you know, made a mistake.

Yeah.

Yeah, you know, never mind.

It had to do with a grenade, and I threw it the wrong way.

Anyway, hey, let me tell you what.

Can you just say real quick, you know, this is Milkman Grocery Delivery, whatever you're called.

No.

Oh, come on, for me.

No.

At least for Milkman.

He's an old man.

He lives in the Virgin Islands, and he just lost his job, and he's very sad, and his wife left him.

Why would I say that?

Just for him.

Just say, hey, Milkman rocks, and you're listening to Madhouse Radio.

That's all you have to say.

Is that what this is?

Madhouse Radio, yes, ma'am.

Madhouse Radio.

Yes, ma'am.

And how did you get my number?

I don't know.

We got it from our fans.

Our listeners sent it in.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, we said Milkman has a crisis.

He lost his job and his woman at the same time.

Well, actually, the Milkman doesn't have a crisis as far as the one I know.

Oh, so you're married to a Milkman?

Actually, yes.

Is he Amish?

No, he's not.

Is he Republican?

He's very Republican.

Is he really?

So you're doing it for him.

It's for the money.

No.

Yes, you are.

No.

He tells you what to do.

He so does not tell me what to do.

Yes, he does.

That's how it should be in a good Republican Catholic family.

The woman...

And he's not Catholic either.

Oh, he's not?

What is he?

He doesn't agree with organized religion.

You know, that's a sin, you know.

That's a sin?

Yeah, for you.

He's never been Catholic.

You'll be excommunicated.

He's never been for me.

No, see, because I know the priest of the church here.

Well, you know what?

I play golf with the Pope.

and I'll tell them and you'll be excommunicated.

Actually, I have a picture of my grandfather

with two of the older priests

and they were building the Catholic church

and the Catholic school here in this town.

Really?

Yeah.

That's a great story.

I've got more.

So, hey, well, can you give me the pro-more now?

Come on, we're desperate for listeners here.

We've been trying everything.

We're about to be kicked off.

You know, I don't believe one word

that comes out of your mouth.

I'm a habitual liar.

What can I say?

Come on, just for me to say, hey, this is Lucy, and Milkman rocks, and I'm listening to Madhouse Radio.

Well, you know, I've got to go put gas in the car.

Oh, here we go.

How long is it going to take?

I just did it.

It took me five seconds.

And there's a dog staring at me who's dying to go somewhere, anywhere, and the Milkman's not here.

Excuses.

I don't know what to tell you.

I wish you'd cooperate with me, but, you know.

No, I'm not going to cooperate because you've driven me crazy.

All right, well, thank you very much for being a part of the show, then.

And there are plenty, you know.

She just hung up on me.

Stupid woman.

Jesus, God Christ.

A biatch.

That's what I'm saying.

Any thoughts on that?

She could at least say goodbye.

I mean, we talked for so long.

I thought we had a thing going on.

Yeah, yeah.

Jill Rosenthal says she had a premature orgasm.

and god damn Mike

and EarthDog says I was flirting

so there it is

and that's in the chat room

I'm glad you liked it

that one went out for you man

so she owns

now we gotta find the cloning center

yeah we do we gotta find clonehomegrown.com

does anybody own clonehomegrown.com

Dr. Lego probably does

at this point I bet you anything

if he doesn't he will now now that he heard it

but yeah

good times everybody good times

Well we did give her a plug

Her website's out there

Check her out

Whatever her website was

I forget

But check her out

Hack it

Yeah

Yeah that's right

Hack it

It was milkmanrocksthemadhouse.com

That's the one right there

That's the website

You're gonna end up with

Bring it down

Milkmanrocksthemadhouse.com

Bring it down

Attack it

Everybody

Something is up

With the mic here today dude

And I don't know what it is

Everything should be working

Just fine

You're no job in it

I guess so

I'm blowing it

Blowing out the water

I think I'm going to be stock on time, man.

Let me see who else is saying anything here.

Zola hasn't said anything in a while, so we'll kill him here.

Black Star, let's see.

Gamer says, what's up?

He's in Memphis.

Yeah, yeah.

The dad says he's not sure if he's going to tune in to us tonight.

He said he will if he's up to it.

I hope you're up to it.

Man, dad's getting hammered again, man.

Yeah.

He's getting hammered again, man.

Worried about him, man.

Worried about him.

I know, man.

I hope he's doing okay.

I know he's having a hard time.

Yeah, he's doing Xannies and shit and drinking vodka as usual and stuff.

That's not good, man.

Oh, God.

Xanaduers, man.

Those are not good.

He's headed down a spiral that I've only seen on an after-school special.

And that leaves nowhere good.

Oh, man.

He's probably going to lose his girlfriend or something.

I don't want him to make headlines in the obituary.

So, DeeDee, call in to the Madhouse.

Get your head shrinking right here in the Madhouse.

Come back there.

or rejoin PCU, man.

And get with it, man.

Get with us.

Hey, man, that reminds me.

Here's one thing.

We've received, I've received five prank calls with the dead and Tuck.

Tuck sent in some prank calls that he did with the dead.

What?

The two, the super friends.

You know, I haven't heard them yet, but I promised Tuck that I would play them.

He's supposed to call in sometime tonight.

He's not listening.

Another gummy good call.

He's not listening because we're not, he, his computer isn't working

and we're not on regular radio yet.

but here's what I got

I got one here with the dad and Tuck

called Big Black Men

and it is

I don't know how long it is, we'll find out here

let's play this here, this is the dad and Tuck

wow, god damn it, 6 minutes 38 seconds

this is kind of long

350, 220

DVD confusion, I guess this is

just Tuck by himself, let's see this

probably a silly question, I'm not really up

on the technology or anything

but my

the DVD

DVDs? I know back when I used to have my children were little, and we would have to return the videos, and we would always have to rewind them, but this DVD keeps spinning and spinning in the machine, and how long do you know when it's fully rewound?

Okay. DVDs don't have to be rewound. You're my alt player, and they're good to go. You don't have to rewind them.

Are you sure I won't get in trouble if I just take it out as it is?

Because I'm always a good patron, and I'm always used to have to pay fines

because my boy wouldn't rewind it that way, and I wouldn't know when it got to the store.

And now I'm just hoping when I bring it up to you, we're not going to get in trouble

because, you know, these newfangled things I always get.

There's no season, but they're late. That's the only thing.

Oh, well, I hope it's not late. I got it. Well, my boy got it the other day, and he got it for me. Meet the Falkers? I don't really understand why they were laughing at the title, but I just didn't get it.

Well, anyway, I'm just, thank you.

Okay, so I'll just bring it up to you.

Are you open on Sunday?

Yes, ma'am.

Okay, so I don't have to put it in your slide.

okay okay well i might come up there later and and uh we'll see well thanks how though if i can

put in your slot or give it right to you okay well jesus loves you jesus loves you

jesus loves you yeah that was pretty funny at the end they were the

Put it in your slot

Not bad

I don't think I can play this whole one here

It's 6 minutes 38 seconds long

Let's play a little bit of this

But it says

Talking to dead Saudi prankers

I gotta

Give me a whirl man

You know that we're trying to unite the world

Through Skype right?

Yeah

What about your country?

I'm in America

You're in America?

Yeah

Oh my god I love America

What the hell is this?

Who are they calling?

They're in Saudi Arabia.

Are you for real?

And she wants to live in America?

She's a freaking terrorist.

I want to come to America to blow things up.

Hey, Mike.

Yes?

This is Mike.

He's from America.

Hi, my name is Nora.

I'm from Saudi Arabia.

Hi, how are you?

You said you lived in America.

What part of America did you live in?

I am a horny.

And I'm pretty horny.

What the fuck?

Okay.

The hell?

She's horny.

Are you for real?

What is she, like a Saudi Arabian phone sex chick?

We're in America.

I'm in Tennessee, and Steve there is in Illinois.

He's in Chicago.

Dude.

He's not Illinois.

He's Illinois.

I'm from Illinois, so I can do better than that.

You don't come from Saudi Arabia.

Well, I shouldn't have listened to what you were saying.

Dude, come back.

I want him.

Yeah.

Come back to your kingdom.

I think you are a black man, Dave.

What?

I know I'm not.

Bye.

Come back to your kingdom, please.

Because there is a fucking guy.

Come back to your kingdom.

No, no, no, no, no, no. I like it. Who is it?

I like him.

Brother.

Okay, I would like your brother.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hi, man.

Hey, what's going on?

Hi, everybody.

Hi, man.

What's happening?

No, this is not the Blackman. I think the other guy is.

Yeah.

I don't like him.

Right, so do you dig Blackman? Do you like him? Do you enjoy the company of Blackman?

No, I don't like him.

Do you like Blackman?

Okay, that's it. It's too long. Can't play the whole thing, but that was pretty good.

End of the show, maybe.

That was a good call.

That was pretty good.

So I think they were being pranked.

I don't know.

Were they calling Saudi Arabia?

Is that the thing?

I suppose.

I think so.

It sounds like they got that reverse prank.

Because they keep going how they're in.

Okay.

Gotcha.

Okay.

I just sent you something here.

Yeah, Nunu.

Nunu sent us something.

Okay.

Let me see this here.

Nunu has a number for these guys.

Who are these guys?

Milkman, explain.

Yes.

Who are they?

Who are those guys?

What are they doing?

Said he'd send us the number.

or Neely sent us a number, damn it.

Yeah, send us a number.

I don't know who the Hayes Squad is.

Is that what it is?

Hayes Squad?

Let me open it up here.

Let's see here what this is.

Who the fuck are these guys?

It's like these weird-looking packy guys in a picture.

I don't know who these guys are.

What's their website?

He's Neely sending us his neighbors.

Hayes.

Okay, custom car modifications.

Official launch party.

They like courage.

Oh, there's some packies out in the U.K. who customize their cars?

I guess that's what it is.

Okay.

Well, that's interesting.

I think they're trying to make a special deal, man, over here in the States.

Oh, whatever.

Well, maybe I can give them an offer.

I don't know.

Okay.

Nunu says, yes, they customize cars but suck at it, he says.

That's funny.

And he sent it to me earlier.

Nunu, send me the number real quick.

We'll give him a call.

Don't worry, man.

And, hey, congratulations to Nunu.

Nunu, did you hear the news about Nunu and the E-Bombs World Contest?

Yeah, he won.

Yeah, he won a contest.

Nunu rocks.

He did a prank call.

Nunu is the king of soundboard prank calls.

He did a George W. Bush soundboard prank call and it won top billing on E-BombsWorld.com.

What's that?

E-BombsWorld.com.

Is that the website?

That's the one.

That's it.

That's pretty damn good for a wanker.

Yeah, it is famous for its prank calls.

So congratulations

Sir Nunu in the UK

Way to go, way to go, way to go

We're very proud of you

You've come so far

Okay, Nunu sent me the cell phone number

What's Nunu?

Try to give me the guy's name

Real quick and we'll call it

Before that, we need to do pranks guys

We're really like fucking wagging

You know what I mean?

We need to get some prank calls going here

Quick, quick, grab a lonesome number man

Yeah, here it is

From Lonesome Loser

In the chat room

Craps Inc

I hope they're still

Open

Craps Inc

A Mexican guy answered

This is in California

And

What are they

What are they about those

Here we go

That's not true

Not that either

Here we go folks

Play that

Yeah this

What

Hello

Wasn't called for

Please enter your

Destination number

Now

Lonesome

I don't

I don't know

What the fuck

Does he think he is

You don't talk to me

Like that

I'm the king of pranks

How dare you talk to the king of pranks like that?

I think he was the queen of pranks, that one.

I'm the spick of pranks.

How dare you talk to me like that, sir?

Oh, Jesus, man.

I didn't even get to see anything.

Drunk into that.

Nunu called him like...

We're going to the next one, man.

Holy shit.

Nunu called him like two hours ago.

How the hell would he still be on guard?

Someone else must have messaged him.

I have no idea.

That's funny as shit, man.

Whatever, dude.

Okay.

Maybe I'll call him later.

I should complain about that.

Okay.

Cloned, here we go.

Here's a number from the UFO hotline.

Oh, yeah.

I got a bunch of people sending in the UFO hotline.

Is that confirmed?

I mean, the sources that are giving me the UFO hotline are questionable.

Yeah, they're questionable.

I'm saying, can we confirm that's not the FBI or something like that?

It isn't.

Here we go.

I can't.

Calls regarding recent sightings are welcomed by the National UFO Reporting Center hotline at yadayadayada.

The hotline is staffed 24 hours a day

Hmm, okay

Interesting, alright

If they don't answer the FBI

You know it's not them

Okay, and if not, then I'll just say

Then I'll just say I'm lonesome

Losing, I have the wrong number

Alright, hang on folks

UFO hotline

Who is this?

They're 722

Oh shit man

man. Yeah, did you see something? No, yeah, I did. What do I do? Where are you? Over here

in the car. But what city or state? Myself right now? Yeah. San Francisco, California,

just south side. Oh, wow. I'm a tourist. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's 722-3000. I saw two men

holding hands. Oh, wow. That's queerer than a football bat, you know what I mean? It is.

Yeah. What the hell is that all about? San Francisco, you should be used to that. Fucking

Fuckin' aliens, man.

Fuckin' Mexicans and shit, you know?

Aye, aye, aye.

What do I do about it?

I don't know what you do.

Why power?

There you go.

What do you do?

I'm Spanish.

Aye, aye, aye.

Are you Hispanic?

No, uh-uh.

What are you?

Uh, Russian.

Russian?

Russian.

I speak Russian.

You don't.

Yeah, I drink vodka and get drunk.

Perfect.

That's what Russians do.

They do.

You know your people were our enemies.

What's that?

Your people were our enemies a few years ago.

Yeah, what are you?

I'm one of your enemies still

I don't forget

I forget but I don't forget

Just like I told Dr. Lego

You know what I remember

Your people coming here

Acting like

Like Americans

With suitcase bombs

With nukes in them

I don't forget

You know what

Ronald Reagan

Should have kicked your ass

Ronald Reagan

Would have kicked your ass too

I wish Ronald Reagan

Was still alive

God damn it

He'd still be president

We love you

Ronald Reagan

If Ronald Reagan were alive

He'd still be president right now

I swear to God

Who's watching TV

That was a damn good call

Yeah I don't know

Who's watching TV over there

Clone, are you watching TV?

We had the wrong number, shitballs

I'm going to try that again

Yeah, I know, that's the funniest part

It was funny though, she's a Russian

I was on the phone for like a minute and a half

Yeah, everybody, don't trust Russians

Okay, because if they're here

They're probably communists

I don't know, I had a couple of good Russians

Probably had their number

I don't know, be careful of Russians

I don't trust Russians, I don't trust

Chinese

They were gun runners in Alaska.

Oh, yeah?

You see?

See what I mean?

That's how it is.

I don't trust Russians, Chinese, or...

It's a C-H word.

And I don't trust Jews from New York, either.

Hang on, everybody.

We're going to try the UFO hotline again.

And actually, WinApp just took a shit.

Aw, damn it.

I don't know if you worked for them in a minute, man.

They came down and took your Mustang away.

I'm going to have to do something.

Hang on, folks.

Here we go.

White powder.

Yes, white powder.

Let's try that again.

Hang on, everybody.

moving right along i guess must be an invasion or something going on folks

there must be an alien invasion on the way and called it yeah something happened i don't know

yeah maybe i fucked yeah that's why you give him out in the chat room you idiot

yeah guys come on man you want a good show don't don't fuck it up for us don't don't pee in our

pool everybody don't don't pee in the damn pool um exactly it has another quote from lego last

night don't shit where you eat whatever that's supposed to mean have you guys ever yeah um let's

see here hang on i gotta i gotta restart something here and fix something here okay that's done

okay let's see here who's next who's next on our list yeah the toll-free line is not even up right

we got to open the toll-free line up my bad okay okay it's about that time it's about that time

it's 11 30 we're past time to do that so anybody wants to call in i see andy's in the chat room

I'm Andy. What's up, man?

Former co-host of the show.

Andy, man. Andy, big Andy.

How did you send in that convoy song, man?

We got a great big convoy.

He's got that on his truck, his greatest hits.

Yeah, we do. We got to do that.

Stream is probably skipping right now, and I apologize

if that's so.

We got a big old convoy driving

through the night. Milkman, get on and play

for certain purposes, you know what I mean?

Yes. Whatever you say, buddy.

Whatever you say. Clone agrees.

LittleEvilNeo joined in the chat room.

And again, the toll-free line is now open.

And the line is 888-278-8509.

There you can call us right now.

888-278-8509.

The toll-free line is now open.

Be a guest.

That's right.

Be a guest.

Call in.

Don't be a stranger.

Anybody who wants to call in.

Now is the time to call in to the show.

That includes you.

Yes, holler.

Holler at a player.

Well, Joe Rosenthal admits the obvious.

It's not toll free from the UK.

Can you open an office here, please?

No.

We're not opening an office in the UK.

I'm sorry.

Why would we?

A bunch of punnies.

Yeah.

We have a local UK representative, Sir Nunu.

You have to contact Sir Nunu.

That was a good outburst, Clone.

That was a very good outburst.

I like that.

Okay.

Okay, we'll call the Clone Zone Computers and Service in Ontario.

Ontario?

O-N?

Ontario?

I guess it's Ontario.

We don't have a state in the United States with O-N, is there?

It must be Ontario.

I don't think we did.

Okay.

It must be.

Phone's ringing.

We have a caller.

Who's calling?

Oh!

I know who's calling.

Matt, how's it going?

You're on the air.

What's up, Colleen?

Oh my God, Jonathan.

How you doing?

Good to hear from you, man.

What's going on?

Are you ready for your storm?

Aren't you getting a hurricane over there in the Carolinas or something like that?

Just rain, that's all.

Oh, just rain.

That's all we got, too.

It was nothing.

We got the brunt of it, right, Athena?

Wow, a bunch of rain.

Enjoy the rain.

Enjoy the day off of work if you don't have to work, man.

That'd be totally awesome if you don't have to.

Yeah, I got a six-day vacation.

Oh, that sucks.

You took your vacation in the middle of a storm.

Yeah, I went playing.

Yeah, yeah.

What can you do, man?

What can you do?

Did you enjoy that prank call we did for you two days ago?

Yes, I did.

I've been playing it a lot.

Yeah?

Cheese Boy?

Yeah.

Okay, very good, very good.

I thought you'd like that one.

Did you play for your friends at all?

Oh, yeah.

They enjoyed it.

Good, good.

And you told two friends they could ask you to, right?

Yeah.

Good.

My bad.

I appreciate that very much.

Are you a fan of football at all, sir?

The Carolina Panthers.

What's that?

Panthers?

That's our football team up here, the Carolina Panthers.

All right, so you're a Panthers fan then?

Do you follow them at all, or are you just kind of root for them when you have to?

You got us in the background there.

I just watch them on TV and stuff.

They usually have a big Super Bowl party going.

Okay, good, good.

Well, I'm glad to hear that, man.

Their Super Bowl parties are great.

What's your whole take?

Did you listen last night to what happened?

I didn't see you in the chat room.

I didn't know if you were paying attention to what happened last night with the PCU.

Man, I listened to a part of it.

I don't know what they were yabbing about, but it got annoying,

so I probably went ahead and turned everything off.

Yeah.

I got a question for Mip Man.

Okay, he's listening, and I'll translate what he says back to you.

Go ahead, Jonathan.

Okay, Lord Scrooge has been asking me,

Milkman has a birthday coming up.

Is that true?

Milkman, go ahead.

That is true.

Well, he's telling me that it's today,

and I don't know if that's true or not.

Thank you very much, Jonathan.

You're a great man.

I appreciate it.

He says, thank you very much.

You're a great man.

Milkman, is your birthday today, man?

Yeah, it's Halloween, man.

It's a trick, man.

Oh, your birthday's on Halloween.

Well, I knew it.

I guess.

His birthday's on Halloween.

Poor John.

His birthday's in, oh, okay, his birthday's in two months.

I get it.

Okay.

October 31st.

October 31st, Halloween.

Milkman, that's Milkman's birthday.

So that's what it does.

Hey, have you all...

Thank you for the wish there, Jonathan.

...called about Rebecca?

Rebecca.

You know, yes, we can call.

My farewells that I accidentally gave her phone number out over the air,

and I'm really sorry for that, Jonathan.

then. Oh, that's okay.

Okay, well, good.

Well, I have it here. You said

that she complains about carbs a lot.

She's really picky about things when you do

the call. Okay, don't.

Okay, say your name. Okay, guys, so she's really picky

about carbs, then. Yeah, it's real

picky. Is she a big girl?

No, she's skinny. And she's picky

about carbs, really? Yeah.

Huh, okay. Alright.

Alright, I have an idea I can do with that, man. Just keep

listening. We'll do that prank call next. How's that sound?

That'll work right now. Alright, John.

And whatever you say, boss, give a shout-out there to all your friends.

If you want, real quick, now's your time.

Take over the show for a few seconds.

Tell them to send in some cookies to the man I have.

I'd like to give a shout-out to all my friends and listeners and PCU.

And I hope you all have a great Labor Day weekend.

All right.

Well, God bless you, Jonathan, White Power, and thank you very much for calling in.

No problem.

All right, my friend.

Later.

Bye-bye.

All right, bye-bye.

Ride the ride.

Well, hell, if you're going to ride, you might as well ride the ride horse, everybody.

Just like Jonathan would say.

in his memory we say that

there it is

ok so let's do it

Jonathan how old is Jonathan DeLocas

Jonathan what is he

yeah DeLoc

Jonathan's about

49 I think he said

I think that's what his age is

older than Milkman younger than

Little Evil Neo at 49 years old

that's right I'm only 80

you know now Carlito

that's right we have 77

listeners right now

We have 77 listeners right now.

That's no lie, everybody.

Saigon is a crazy...

You know what?

I really don't know.

I don't know if that's Saigon or not who we're talking to.

I don't think it is.

This guy called me last night.

He called me on accident last night.

Okay.

All right.

I don't know.

It's 100% Saigon.

You think so?

Huh.

I recognize his voice.

You can tell.

You can hear the hate.

You can hear the anger.

Yeah, you do.

That's Saigon, definitely.

Yeah, not what I was expecting, but it doesn't make sense.

That's for damn sure.

Hey, here's a call from...

That's why he doesn't normally call in.

He don't want to fess up to it.

Yeah.

Because he sounds like a redneck.

Yeah.

Well, I guess so.

Here's Tuck, everybody.

Tuck's calling in.

Buddy's got a great attitude.

He lives right in the character.

Tuck, you're on the line.

Tuck, Madhouse Radio is here.

Hey.

What's up, Tuck?

How you doing, man?

What's happening, y'all?

Who's been hogging up the phone all night?

We had the, uh, long story.

You're out of the loop.

We had the toll-free line turned off for a while here, and we were waiting.

But I knew you were going to call in.

We played two of your prank calls.

Oh, great.

Not bad at all.

What did we play?

We played, um, guys, remind me real quick.

We played the two black, uh, the Saudi Arabian call was the last one we played.

Very good.

We were laughing.

Oh, yeah, I was with, uh, the dead.

The dead, right.

Great. And we did some other one, I forget now.

I don't know. I'm in a weird...

The DVD short one we did, too, here.

Oh, okay.

We played those, too. Very good work, man.

Were those a long time ago that you did those, or were those recent?

Like, the DVD one and the most of those I did within the past week,

I just, like, got, like, a phone card,

and I just went through my local phone book

and then called, like, the local blockbuster or whatever.

Okay.

And the one with the dead is back when the dead would come and he would get on Skype

and he would just start randomly calling people.

Randomly?

Randomly.

Just numbers.

He would like see something and I'm going to call this person to that person.

He would call people all around the world.

Yeah.

Well, this one particular time he called Saudi Arabia and two Saudi Arabian guys started pranking us.

And they actually spoke English?

That's some funny shit.

Yeah.

That's funny.

I'm surprised Saudi Arabia doesn't seem to be the kind of country with that kind of sense of humor,

but they actually understood the international language of prank calls, and that's awesome.

I'm thinking they, like, came here for a while to study bomb making or something.

Bomb making chemistry.

Scoping us out or something for a couple of years, then went back and, you know.

Yeah.

So they had a little...

They took the shoes.

Awesome.

What else is up with you?

Are you making any progress?

Hey, real quick, Gangrene is in the chat room and he says hi.

Well, hi to Gangrene and everybody else.

Yeah, and everybody else.

Shout out.

And to you, his neighbor, too.

After the holiday, after Monday, I will be going to Memphis and getting my shit together.

Oh, hell yeah, man.

I will be back on the hotline there with everybody.

so until then

so I'm coming back

and I'm going to get all my stuff together

I'm going to get my website up and running

podcast back grooving and everything

yeah I'm going to be grooving

and I'm going to be selling comics here pretty soon

with KDK right

the Jill Rosenthal comic book

the Jill Rosenthal comic

as well as my own comics

awesome

I'm going to get that out and done too

awesome

the KDK comic is coming along very well

Well, we have all our stories written, and I'm inking, like, the first two stories for the first issue right now.

Okay.

Awesome, man.

This is great.

So it's rolling and going.

Mm-hmm.

I'm very excited about that comic book myself.

I want to grab a copy of that, man.

It's going to be great.

From Madhouse's graphic artist.

Oh, yeah, we'll get you a copy.

Yep, yep.

And it'll be nice to have it.

We'll get you a copy.

As Milkman is saying, you're a resident graphic artist,

And there's been a

Earthdog has come through

With a few graphics

Since then

But yeah

It's still

Still a little dry

Right now

As far as graphics

Are coming through

So it'll be good

Good to have you back man

Good to have you back

And Gingery wants to point out

That he's also in Tennessee

Little Evil Neo

Is his neighbor too

Yeah he's like

Somewhere around where I am

Alright he's in

He's in Jackson he says

And I know Neo

Is somewhere in Tennessee too

Some place or something

Oh oh

Is she

That's his neighbor

Like um

I thought Neo

Was like California

No she moved to

She moved by the university or something like that, I think.

Did she move by UT?

I think so. I think that's what it is.

Okay.

Knoxville? Maybe Knoxville?

That's like East Tennessee.

Near Memphis.

That's where the Smoky Mountains are.

Okay, gotcha. Near Memphis or something.

Okay, well, good. See?

You guys need to represent for Tennessee PCU fans.

There you go.

Totally, totally.

We need more Southern culture.

Well, hey, Gangrene says he's about 15 minutes away from you.

Okay, awesome.

Awesome. Well, maybe you can give me...

Give you a call, and you can show each other your pee-pees. That's awesome.

Yeah, I can say that my whole dilemma on why I have, like, been out is because where I am in the Jackson, Tennessee area,

I have Macintoshes, and I don't know what Jackson, Tennessee said to the Apple company,

What they said about the Apple's mama, but Apple pulled out anything to do with Apple computers at all.

And it's all PC.

It's all, like, Macintosh, I mean, Microsoft PC friendly.

Okay, that's good.

And they won't have anything to do with Macintoshers.

The only closest place is Memphis, which is like a, like a, like a, about a hundred miles, uh, out of the way, either direction, either Nashville or, uh, Memphis.

So they drive all the way out to Memphis to get your Mac?

Yeah, and, and I can't send it to them, and it's just a whole big nightmarish, uh, badness.

That shows you.

They got a Mac coming.

You know, with all this trouble, would you ever get a Mac again, or are you going to stick to a PC from now on?

If I knew the trouble again, too, I would just go with PC originally.

But, I mean, like, back when I was into it, everybody, it was Macintoshes, it was all around Jackson at the time.

Really? Okay, so it was just a thing of circumstance.

And then something happened.

Yeah.

And then they just, like, well, we don't have to deal with Apple anymore.

Right, just a thing of circumstance. That happens, right?

I don't know anything about Mac, it's just all I know is about PCs, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Yeah, I bet you anything, the next time you...

Yeah, man, sell that thing.

The next time you open up a system to sell the Mac,

I'd say probably the next time your Mac takes a shit,

you'll probably have a bunch of places you can go to closer to where you live.

This is probably a temporary thing, you know?

A little vacuum, it'll get filled, there's money to be made there,

I'm sure people will fill in a spot, it'll be alright.

Yeah, um, it's gonna be good.

But once I get everything back, I'll have, like, a modern computer,

and then I'm going to go and get to step up and get the satellite Internet connection,

say, like, QSNET or something.

Yeah.

Okay.

Cool.

And then I'll be a whole lot better, and that way I can streamcast

and do all kinds of fancy-schmancy stuff in the future.

Everybody got their own streamcast tonight, these days.

Everybody's got their own shoutcast.

Yeah, man, more drama on PC.

See, you're lucky you're not even involved in it.

You're lucky you don't have to deal with it until you get back.

Oh, just give me the Raider Digest version.

KDKA got upset at Lego and Zolar again,

and they made their own stream for a few hours,

and they bashed everybody,

and then they kissed and made up before the night was over.

There it is.

2.30 in the morning.

Yeah, I know.

What, yesterday or something?

It's in every Wednesday thing these days now.

It's an every Wednesday

thing now.

The Wednesday night show

is like the big drama show.

It's a fucking,

yeah, it's the

the soap opera

of PCU.

Oh, it is the drama.

Yeah.

Yeah, it is.

Hey, you want to do

Now that we have you on

you want to do a prank call

or you got to run?

No, let's go.

Here's what we got.

I got a motel

Called Ernesto

Ernesto Motel

I don't know

We got Mad Fool Games

We got a cafe

Called Foolish Craigs

We got a clown

In Virginia

We got a place

Called Blunt Logging

I don't know

You pick it

And you start it

And I'll come in

With something

Let me see if the clown

Will pick up

Let's try that

He was confirmed

A little while ago

But maybe he'll still pick up

We'll try

This is Doofus Rufus

The Clown

And yeah

Yeah, we're going to call him right now.

Hang on, everybody.

The next prank call is coming up.

Big Tuck on the line with us.

And we'll be right back after this.

Yeah.

Hey, Tuck, by the way, no matter what.

Hello, this is...

Dale.

...my phone number by this excuse.

I'm sorry you're missing me, but I can hear you now.

Micah, you eat too many carbs, you fat ass.

That was kind of rude.

There you go.

I tried something.

Let me try something.

Yeah, here's one.

Let me try something confirmed more recently.

clone stone northwest this one goes out to clone homegrown there you go what is it i don't know i

have no idea it's called clone stone northwest i'm going to accuse him of cloning though all right

that's my premise oh you fucked up that sheep oh that sheep has two legs bitch what the fuck

there's my idea hang on i don't know you know sometimes it just doesn't work out you know what

It was like some sort of business or something, but it was like...

Yeah, Clone Stone Northwest, I have no idea.

Maybe they just... Clone Stones, you know?

Close enough.

Is it a residence or a business card, either?

I don't really have any residences.

I kind of have a no residences request from Lonesome Loser,

and he kind of follows through with that.

I don't know.

All right, Tuck, well, let me not waste any more of your time.

I'm sorry, dude, but hey, thanks for calling in.

Thanks for the update.

Dude, I can't wait for you to get your computer back up.

Let me know the minute it happens.

Make sure to message me.

Dude, I can't wait either.

Dude, I'm sure you out of anybody is excited about it.

We're excited for you, too, bro.

Yeah, because I can play porn on my DVD player again, and I've been missing that.

You don't have to sneak shots of the porn at the Internet Cafe anymore, that's right.

No.

Or the library.

No, no, no.

Yeah, they kind of frown on that there.

Yeah.

All right, dude, take care of yourself.

The library and the public library don't like it either.

Yeah, all right, enjoy the stay in Memphis, man.

Okay, man, I will be back around.

I got

Play some more of my calls man

Yeah

For sure

Make any live ones

Play some of the

Some of the

Recorded ones

No problem

We'll round it out man

Later

Alright man

And if I suck

Let me know

No problem

So far you're doing good

No problem

Rock on

Alright rock on

Love

Revolution

Revolution it is

Is this the question

Is this

As Tuck would say

Love

That's his saying

That's why I said

I'm not trying to be gay

Um

Jonathan says

I messed up

Okay, he says, I called Peace's number instead of Rebecca's number.

Oh, shit, really?

Did I do that?

Oh, I did.

Oops, I called the wrong guy.

Sorry about that.

Whoopsie.

Okay, we'll fix that.

Flatline says he called another problem gambling helpline,

and someone actually answered, how can I help you?

So we'll try that in a little bit.

The phone line is now open.

$500, buddy.

Yeah, well, hey, Cloned and Milkman, of course, with Tuck leaving, the toll-free line is now open.

And that line is 1-888-278-8509.

So if you haven't called in yet tonight, feel free to call in.

It is a free call.

It's on my dime.

Use it or lose it.

It's there while it is.

It may be gone any day now.

That's right.

We'll drop it off tonight.

Hey, I had a good interview today, though, you know.

I had a good interview today.

Right, man.

Yeah.

They said they were going to interview one more person.

Right.

It was up to between me and the other person

So we'll see what happens

Maybe I have a job again

Clone Homegrown is not having an interview tomorrow

Apparently

We have 73 listeners right now

In our extended network

Thank you

40 listeners on PCU

18 listeners on the Madhouse stream

And 16 listeners on T-Big Radio

Thank you very much everybody for listening this late

It's almost midnight on the East Coast

Yeah I know

I'm telling you it's awesome

Awesome. It's awesome.

And I really think it's only because of the fact that what happened last night, what went down.

And like KDK said, it was counterproductive.

It was a counterproductive thing because now less people are listening on PCU.

And there's probably a lot of people trying to listen on my stream at time to time,

and they can't get through because they think the server's maxed out.

People are disenfranchised.

People are disenfranchised. They don't like it.

It's counterproductive, like I said, everybody.

Don't do it anymore.

It was cute, and then it was okay, and now it's boring.

Right.

So I know either Zolar or Lego were trying to call in earlier tonight,

but I wasn't taking calls at that point.

I am taking calls now.

So if you're still listening and you want to call in, now's the time.

Go ahead.

The toll free line is open.

Feel free.

We'd love to hear from you.

Save the drama for your mama.

It is that time to take a break, though, guys.

Let's do a call while we wait.

Well, it is time to take a break, though.

Let's do one more call, then we'll take a break.

And then we'll come back and do another hour or so of the show.

And then you can play your cool new break tune.

Yes, that's right.

We have some new break music.

That's very, very...

I think you reminded me of that.

Yeah.

Let's set that up.

Okay.

Um, um, um, um.

I liked it.

Clone Zone Computers and Service.

We haven't called them yet.

The new bumper.

We haven't called Clone Zone Computers and Service.

Tell them you got a child porn on your computer and you don't want it on there.

I could do that.

We got a call from Cali...

Uh, from, uh...

Uh, we got a call...

We got a call from the suspected Saigon, actually, right now.

Hang on, everybody.

And they hung up quickly.

Never mind.

We had a call for a second there.

Good.

Let's do a call.

He probably heard that we were going to take a break, and he decided not to try right now.

I'm sorry, dude.

Try later.

Okay.

It is what it is.

It is what it is, indeed.

We're doing clone, zone, computers, and servers right now.

Hang on, everybody.

The next prank call of the night is coming at you immediately.

Those Canadian numbers are just not working tonight, dude.

Okay.

We need to regroup.

We had a few failures here, and I don't know.

I really got to take a piss.

What's going on here?

Okay, here is the supposed Saigon again.

Hang on, let's see.

Let's see what happens here.

Let's take this just here.

Go ahead, Milkman.

Don't call me a cunt.

I didn't call you a cunt.

What did I call you?

Oh, Kim?

No.

I know you got pissed.

That's no excuse.

Yeah, whatever.

Hang on.

You just need to tell me and ask for permission before you go piss.

That's right.

Caller, you're on the air.

Go ahead.

Hey, how you doing there, buddy?

All right.

How you guys doing?

I'm enjoying your show.

Should I turn down my computer?

Yeah, it might help out a little bit if you turn on those speakers.

Okay, I didn't know, you know, okay.

Keep, please do.

Yeah, hey, I'm just enjoying your show.

All right.

It's like about 858 out here on the west coast.

Yeah?

How's the weather over there?

Oh, man, I was down today in a place where it was like almost 100 degrees.

100 degrees?

About almost 100.

About a month ago, I got like 118, but it was nice, real nice.

Is it the fucking desert or something?

No, no, this is way up in Northern California.

Dude, how old are you?

Wow.

We've got a running back going on.

We've got to pull.

We need to settle this.

40s?

Can you tell us 40s, 30s at least?

Well, how old are you?

I'm 27.

You're 27.

As a guy, that's true.

Milkman's, I forget how, Milkman's 58 and Kronholm Grum 17.

Wow, okay.

Well, I'll give you my age within a year either way, okay?

Okay.

That way the New World Order fascists can't pinpoint me directly with their laser beam from the satellite, okay?

Okay.

Okay, I'm 56 years old.

Okay.

But I'm going on 18, man.

All right, awesome, man.

I'm going on 18.

Rock on, rock on.

There are a lot of rumors out there, man.

in? Are you Saigon? No, that's really weird because I don't understand what that's about.

I have no affiliation with Saigon. I was an anti-war dude and the guys that turned me

around were these greatest Americans in the whole Vietnam era called the Vietnam Veterans

Against the War. These guys were army dudes that were still in the army, fighting the

Army, and they opened up a coffee house and was counseling young dudes not to get involved

in that bullshit like they got going over in the Middle East to make money for the corporations.

That's what I'm saying, man.

Fuck the corporations.

Yeah, motherfucking, that's what's propping up the middle class right now in this country

is the motherfuckers going, they make munitions, you know.

Yeah.

They don't make TVs no more or radios.

They got their slaves in China doing it, but they sure are good at making bombs.

Making bombs and killing our youth, man.

Yeah, it is the truth.

The poor youth.

All them sons of bitching senators and congressmen,

none of their children are in the Middle East,

except there might be one or two that fly over in airplanes and drop bombs, right?

And they're just rich kids playing with multi-billion dollar fucking toys.

Man, I'm telling you, man, the mafia rules this country.

It is, man.

Don't believe none of these bastards on CNN or Fox News.

who's, I don't know about the mafia, the mafia's pretty impotent right now.

Does anybody?

No, the mafia, dude, they legitimize and they got their great-great-grandchildren.

You think the mafia's stuck to fucking dealing dope on the corner and loan sharking?

And you think the mafia's stuck to white slavery, prostitution, pimping and shit?

No, them motherfuckers, man, they sent their children to Yale and Harvard.

Okay.

They sent their children to Yale and Harvard, and these guys, man, they're now called the corporations.

Believe me, dude, hey, just check it out.

If you don't believe this shit, get on, and you can find out, dude, about fucking,

there's like $80 billion unaccounted for in defense contracts.

The mafia moved up, man, into the defense industry, dude.

Dude, this is the same slime bags back in the 30s, Al Capone's era and shit.

Man, I'm telling you, but, you know.

Okay.

What do you think about the Jews in New York?

Well, you know what?

It's like there's six billion of us people on the planet Earth,

and I myself try to live my life where every one of those people are a potential brother or sister to me.

Okay.

And it's a great mystery, man.

It's like I don't believe that Bible bullshit.

There's a little bit of universal truth in there that relates to Eastern philosophy,

like doing to others as you'd have others doing to you.

Well, that relates to karma in Eastern thought, and that makes sense to me, man.

Doing to others as you'd have others doing to you, right?

Right.

If people would live like that, we wouldn't be killing each other, right?

That's the damn truth, sir.

Right on, man.

And I'll tell you what, of all the people who call on this show, you are the one who's most on the ball.

Well, I don't think so, man.

Man, I'm really a real fucking asshole, man.

I go through all kinds of shit in my life, you know.

It's like one minute I hate everybody in the world, and the next minute I love everybody in the world.

I'm like a fucking spiritual schizophrenic, man.

Are you on any medication right now?

All right, well, I'm making today, do you guys got Dollar Tree stores out in the East Coast?

Absolutely, sir.

We have Dollar Tree stores here in the South, yes, sir.

Okay, well, I just bought a case of wine today at the Dollar Tree store.

You can buy wine at the Dollar Tree store?

Yeah, I bought a case of wine.

Yeah, and it comes in really beautiful bottles, and it's got corks in it, and it's all fancy.

It's like, you know, dark green bottles with a cork.

It looks like, you know, Rothschild, 19, whatever, you know, the gourmet that comes in a bottle.

But it's cheap-ass wine.

It's got either too much tannin in it or whatever.

So the wineries, they ship it, and they sell it at the Dollar Tree.

Anyway, but you take a quart jar, and you put, like, 10% wine in it.

You put 10% grape juice and fill it up with 80% ice-cold water.

And, man, you've got one hell of a wine cooler.

Oh, yes. Is that what you're drinking tonight?

Yeah, that's what I'm drinking, man.

You get your alcohol from the Dollar Tree store?

Yeah, I do, man. I'm like, oh, man.

You all got better, Charlotte.

That's awesome.

Because of my political beliefs, I'm not on the high end of the economic bracket, you know?

Yeah, yeah.

So, you know, you were part of the instigation of the whole blow-up last night with KDK and Lego and whatnot.

Yeah.

Any thoughts on that?

Would you like to tell what you think about that whole crap right now?

I'll say this, man.

I enjoy listening to your show a lot more than I do Katie K's.

Because Katie K, sometimes that dude pisses me off when I shut my computer down.

And then I'm curious, so I come back and listen.

I think all of you guys are great artists on the cutting edge of an evolving art form

of prank radio calls.

I don't understand why there are millions of people listening to you guys.

Believe me, dude.

I don't listen to Howard Stern's show.

I don't have no serious radio and shit, but I listen to you guys because you guys are

It's like pushing fucking people's buttons, man.

I'm telling you, I like that shit.

Yeah, it is an art.

I agree.

It is an art.

And it's fun.

Oh, yeah.

Sometimes, man, I mean, sometimes it's just, it's like you almost take me up to the top

where I can go an evolutionary step further in my own consciousness.

And it's like, and then other times I think, man, how wretched the world is, man, you know.

Oh, it is fucked up, man.

It's a nasty, horrible world full of angry people.

Oh, yeah.

They're about to get you.

Oh, man, that's what, yeah, it is, man.

Yeah, that's why I do, dude.

I got them to disconnect the cable.

I used to have cable TV, and I'm telling you, dude, that shit was just, it almost killed me, man.

It was talking to you?

The fucking, you'd turn on CNN and Fox and them news and them motherfuckers would be spewing the latest propaganda.

propaganda, and it's like, and then the commercials would come on, and they'd try to give you

some kind of disease through subliminal suggestion through their commercials, right?

Right.

And it's like, but I consider PCU and what all you people do, and there's nobody any

better, and you're all artists, man.

Like I tried to say last night, you're like the 16th century painters.

You're great, man, but you each got your own styles.

You each got your own styles, and that's what makes you unique and worth listening to.

All right.

And that's it, man.

It's like that's the difference between you and CNN and Fox News and shit

is them guys, they come from a mold of propaganda machines stamping out.

They don't have no originality or nothing.

They're just reading from a script.

Well, I'll tell you what.

A lot of people will agree with you.

Andy, former co-host of the show, says you speak the truth.

Gingery has a curious question.

Do you ever listen to Art Bell?

Are you aware of who Art Bell is?

Well, I used to back in before I went to prison, man.

I used to talk with Art Bell about two or three times a fucking week on his radio show.

I'm sorry.

You talked to Art Bell on his radio show, sir?

Yeah.

Back in the early 90s, yeah, I used to be on his show about three times a week.

You were actually on his show?

Yeah, about three times a week.

No shit.

Yeah, and I used to do my own version of prank calls on Art Bell's show.

I'd call up and I'd say really off-the-wall shit just to stir people up,

and then I'd sit back and listen to people calling and saying,

Boy, that guy's crazy.

Boy, that last caller you had already just shows you the world's full of crazy people.

Oh, people like that ought to be locked up and they ought to throw away the key.

And they tried to, man.

They gave me, I did fucking years and no shit.

Dude, and I didn't hurt nobody.

I didn't steal nothing from nobody.

But I took it over the edge where I used to drink a lot of alcohol

and washed down about 10 hits of acid,

and then I fucking started calling up the local motherfucking power elite,

and they framed my ass and put me in prison.

Yeah? All right.

All right. I'm sorry to hear that.

Well, it's like, you know, I was convicted, you know,

among the charges I was convicted of several counts of terrorist threat,

but it was all done over an annoying phone call and shit, you know,

and a few other felonies that was like, yeah, it's like...

It's like that, I know.

Yeah, you can't, it's like, okay, like, I tried to expose some corruption that was going on in any way,

but I took a, I didn't do it in the right way.

I didn't live my philosophy of basically the hippie values that was established for me in the 60s.

Okay.

So I started, like, scaring people.

I bought a big arsenal of guns and shit, and I bought some rural property, and I, you know, and I, and I, and it's like I scared a lot of people, and so they got together and they put my ass in prison for a few years, and now I'm fucking come out of prison.

You know, I mean, I was in fucking San Quentin.

I was in fucking Soledad.

One time, though, you know, and a couple other prisons I've been to,

and before that I never even had a police record or a fucking parking ticket.

Okay.

But if you piss people off too bad, they'll frame your ass and put you in prison, man.

They'll put you in prison.

Man, the police and the fucking lawyers, they all work together, man.

Whatever you do, let me...

Can I say one thing that might help somebody out there?

Sure.

If you are ever arrested and charged with a crime, remember this,

that when the shit is coming down in the courtroom and the DA is talking shit about you,

if you fail to object on the record, then under the law, then that establishes evidence against you.

And if you sit there and let your fucking public pretender send you, you know, they work, man.

The DA, the public defender's office, the judge and the cops, they're all, man, they're all in bed together.

They totally are.

Okay.

I hear that.

Remember that, though.

You've got to object.

You've got to object on the record.

and if you just sit there and you fail to object,

well, they count that as legal evidence against you.

Okay, all right.

You haven't given us a proper name.

You said Crazy Fucker in California.

We'll just call you...

Crazy Fucker from California, man.

Yeah, Crazy Fucker from California.

Real quick, Milkman maintains that you're Saigon,

and he also says that he remembers you from Art Bell.

I know he's a radio connoisseur from the 90s and 80s.

Yeah, I used to be on our bill quite a bit.

Let me ask you a question.

Would you be opposed to doing a prank call with us right now?

A prank call?

Well, I never did prank calls with total strangers, man.

I used to, like, drop a lot of acid and drink a lot of alcohol and fucking then call up the fucking police and shit.

Well, that's probably why you went to prison.

Yeah, that's why.

I don't do that no more, dude.

Dude, they called it terrorist threats, dude.

Well, I'll tell you, now I'm afraid to do this.

Hey, I used to fucking own land, dude.

I used to own fucking land here in the Golden State, dude.

Yeah?

They took my fucking land away from me.

They took everything I had, dude.

Everything, man.

I went down for a lot of years, too, dude.

Yeah?

I went down one stretch, and before that, I was in my 40s,

and I never even had a fucking parking ticket.

And they fucking dicked you over like that?

Yeah, they dicked me over, dude.

That's a bunch of shit, man.

See, here's what happens.

They call them counties and states and shit, but actually they're fiefdoms.

We live under the feudal system like in Europe in the fucking 11th century.

In Europe, they had the nobles and the serfs, right?

Yeah.

Well, if you're a fucking serf like me or a peasant, you can't fuck with the nobles.

They're the ones that own the castles and the dungeons and the fucking everything else.

All the land.

Yeah, they got motherfuckers right now over there killing women and psychopathic American motherfucking little pimply-faced bastards

who five years ago was killing people on their video games are now over there fucking killing women and children

and motherfucking the Middle East.

And then when the people fight back and oppose them, they call them fucking terrorists.

Yeah, well, I'll tell you what.

I fought in Afghanistan myself.

I was an 82-year-old boy.

Jay, was you ever exposed to, they call it depleted uranium munitions?

Yes, I've seen the effects of depleted uranium, and I fear that I may become, you know,

Yeah, you might have a child, man, and he might have a fucking extra arm grown out of his asshole or something.

I know, I know. It's a fear that I live with.

It's really sad, dude.

I'll tell you what, I have problems now, and they're probably due to that, sir.

See, they wave the fucking flag, and they get people scared, right?

Oh, these motherfuckers are coming to take our shit!

Oh, these motherfuckers!

And actually, I don't even believe that fucking Bush blew up the Twin Towers.

I don't know.

Sometimes, check out prisonplanet.com, a guy named Alex Jones, dude.

and he's got some convincing fucking evidence about this shit.

The guy that owned the Twin Towers, his name was Larry Silverstein,

and he bought it for $200 million, him and his consortium,

and he took out a $3 billion insurance policy and collected on it,

and all those fucking buildings that fell, dude.

Man, I'm telling you, check out AlexJonesPrisonPlanet.com.

You know, when PCU ain't on the air, they're playing reruns,

i i go to alex jones and shit okay you dude right on man right now well hey crazy fucker man thanks

for calling be sure to call us here on a regular basis we like to catch up you know what you should

saigon whoever you are whatever my name is not why do you call me saigon hey i'm this what the

people say that you're you're a saigon i'm sure you wouldn't take a name man i tell you dude i i

got i got friends man that used to you know i used to smoke dope that came from saigon i used

I used to buy fucking grass from dudes coming back from Vietnam,

and the grass was laced with like fucking 90% like opium and heroin and all kinds of shit,

and you take one toke, and all them dudes, they used to sit over there and just toke out

and watch the fireworks go off making money for the corporations.

That's a sad fucking piece of shit, man.

You know what really pisses me off?

There's a lot of good American guys that don't have no arms and legs,

and they haven't since they got it blown off in fucking Vietnam.

And there's a whole lot of other good American boys that right now ain't got no arms and legs

because they got their arms and legs blown off over there in fucking the Middle East.

Let us get the fucking asses out of the Middle East.

If I come to Europe and attack you, you've got a right to defend yourself.

That's what all them fucking people over there are doing.

And as far as that shit between the Hezbollah and the Jewish people,

well, the Jewish people and the Hezbollah are kissing cousins for about the last 2,000 fucking years, dude.

Okay.

Let me ask you, before we let you go, if you promise not to get too crazy,

I'd like you to talk and explain this to a place called Killer Pizza from Mars.

Okay.

Killer Pizza from Mars.

They ain't going to put me back in prison for doing this shit on them.

No, me and Milkman will take the blame for it.

He's in with the Supreme Court.

It's all good.

He's a conservative.

Yeah, they'll take the blame.

They'll take the blame for it.

We got you.

We got you back there.

All right.

Hang on, dude, crazy fucker.

And here we go.

Crazy fucker is going to call killer pizza from Mars.

And here we go.

Right back after this, folks.

Where is it located?

California.

Where at in California?

Escondido.

Escondido, huh?

Yeah.

Is that far from you?

Yeah, it is.

Yes, it's about 1,000 miles, actually.

There you see? We're safe. No problem.

No problem at all. Hang on, dude. We'll be right back after this.

Do you think it'd be possible to order a pizza?

Sure.

Okay, do you have any pizza with Pasiblian, Pasillian mushrooms and marijuana buds and topped with hashish?

Oh, sure, for an extra bill. Sure, we can come up with that stuff.

Really?

How much would that pizza cost me?

A couple hundred bucks.

That's all?

Yeah.

Is that for the large or the small or the medium?

That would be large.

Oh, man.

I would like to order five of them if I could.

Oh, yeah, sure.

Seriously, I thought we had a deal, dude.

Yeah.

What?

Now, are you going to do, can you deliver it to me?

No, we don't deliver.

Oh, I got to come in for it?

Yeah.

Okay.

And because you know what?

I've heard from many, many people, man, that UCAT's got the best pizza in the state of California.

Yeah, we got the best pizza, but we don't have all that.

Huh?

We don't have all that, sorry.

I know you guys ain't got all that.

And I just, but I tell you, man, I'm going to come in there next time.

You're an Escondido, right?

Yeah.

I'm coming in, dude, and I'm going to buy some pizza, some pizza, some pizza.

Right on.

Hey, just remember, dude, you're feeding the people, man.

And you're a holy man.

You're a holy man.

You feed the people, man.

There's nothing more holy on this planet than feeding the hungry, right?

Right, and keeping your sense of humor about it.

When an asshole like me calls up and talks some off-the-wall shit, right?

I'm the Martian.

All right, man.

Right on.

All right, dude.

I wish you would have had some magic mushrooms and some hashish and, you know, topping off the pizza, man,

because I tell you, I'd get in my spaceship right now and come on down, you know.

That'd be perfect.

Yeah, every time I try to land my spaceship, though, in Escondido, man, you know what happens, man?

Like the defense department, man, they start shooting like rockets at me and shit, you know?

And it's like, because I got an old spaceship.

See, I'm an old fucking space alien.

Come in next weekend.

Okay, I'll do that.

Is that when, that's when we're going to party down, isn't it?

That's right.

Okay, man.

Set a place for me, dude.

All right.

Love you.

All right, man.

Take it easy.

Peace out.

Great call.

Great first call.

That was pretty lame, wasn't it?

Not bad.

You know what?

You're better than Prankmaster already.

It was just off the top of my head.

It wasn't bad.

And let me clear the line and we'll wrap up here.

Crazy Dave bagged.

All right.

We're going to call you Crazy Fright Fucker on this show if that's what you want to do.

Call me Crazy Fucker from California.

California, remember, I'm from the greatest place on the planet Earth, man.

Don't let nobody tell you any different.

Even though it's got a lot of demons and devils with fucking badges and law degrees,

it's still the greatest place on Earth if you know how to get around them, you know.

And I learned how to get around them, dude.

Sir, you're a great representative for the great state of California, the Golden State.

Thank you, and I'll tell you this, man.

Love, peace, and joy to every living thing on the planet Earth

because it's all a great mystery, isn't it?

Yes, sir. Absolutely.

Well, God bless you.

I love your show, man.

I'm an addicted fan, dude.

I'm addicted.

We'd love to have you here.

Tell all your like-minded friends and call in next week.

We want to hear you on a weekly basis if you can, dude.

It would be awesome.

We'd like to make you a regular segment here on this show if possible.

If I'm still alive, I'll be trying to talk my jive.

That's what I'm saying.

All right.

Later.

Jesus.

Jesus, God, Christ in heaven, man.

I don't know what to say.

We've got to earn Crazy Dave.

Yes.

And he tops Crazy Dave for sure.

He does.

Yeah.

God rocks.

Clone, what are your thoughts on Crazy Fucker from California?

Fucking fruitcake.

Hey, but it's great to talk to.

It's great to know that we still have crazy people in America in this great country.

This is the Martian.

Amen that this is still a great country.

Yeah, man.

I don't want to be a leader.

Jesus H.

All right.

Well, hey, guys, we need to take that break.

I like his strength, though, on the dope.

Yeah?

Man, I don't know what else to say except for that was awesome.

I like his toppings for his pizza.

I would take a double on that, man.

I'm sure you would.

Yeah, he's old school.

He is now the reigning oldest listener to PCU, isn't he, huh?

I mean, come on.

He's older than Zolar, isn't he?

Yeah, older than Zolar.

Well, I think they're as close as they may be.

He's older than Jonathan, the reigning champion, for oldest listener.

He is definitely older than you, and after that comes Jonathan, and after that comes you.

Well, I'm 87.

Oh, you're 87.

That's right.

Okay, now you're going to break into your old man voice.

But that doesn't count.

That doesn't count because I'm actually affiliated with the madhouse.

Yeah, you are.

So, okay, you're right.

There is a difference.

Okay, folks, we're going to take a break.

Clone, you're not going to go, are you?

Because usually you leave around this time.

Are you going to hang on with us?

No, I'm here.

All right, good.

Clone's with us for the long haul.

Milkman, you're still with us, right?

Yeah.

All right.

We're out.

We're going to come back and eat the wool drink, pal.

We're having an interesting show here, everybody.

Everybody in the chat room, hang on.

Everybody listening, hang on.

We have...

Don't forget to play your new bumper.

Yes, it's coming up now.

We're down to 51 listeners.

I don't know what that means about the last caller if it's something else, but whatever.

We're still doing our thing here, folks.

We've got to do a call.

Yeah, we'll do some calls when we get back.

Everybody, hang on.

It's 12-26.

It's the weekend unofficially.

It's Friday, September the 1st.

Welcome to a new month.

We'll be right back after this.

You're listening to Madhouse Radio, madhouselive.com.

Madhouse Radio will be back right after this.

If I am, you're going to like it too, baby.

Be sure to visit us online at madhouselive.com.

What's so tough now?

Little black skin.

Eat your black pants.

I hate black pepper, black quinoa, and piano.

My gums, because they black.

All right, and we're back.

And we're back, everybody.

Hey, good evening.

We back.

All of us, we back.

Thanks, everybody.

Coming right back at you, everybody.

Madhouse Radio.

Evening show.

What's that?

What are you eating?

French fries?

All right.

You fried them or you put them in the oven?

Oh, yeah?

Oh, you get the potato.

You slice the potato up.

Yeah, home fries, man.

You got to love home fries, man.

I got live turkey breakfasts on the whole week, man.

Yeah, I just had the last of what was left from dinner, which was a cube steak made in vinegar with some pepper.

A little bit of adobo

A little bit of onion on there

And some rice

That's what I have for dinner tonight

Not bad

Adobo is the king of spices everybody

Adobo

Be sure you check out adobo.com

Adobo

Is there an adobo.com

Hey guys find out milkman

Is there an adobo.com out there

If not I want to get that

I claim that

I like sazon too

Sazon is good

White people don't know what we're talking about.

Yeah, so we're here at Madhouse Radio.

Yeah, clone.

What?

Madhouse Radio, and we're going to keep going.

Again, if you want to reach us here, toll-free, the line, the phone line,

that's a toll-free line in the United States and Canada.

I don't know about Mexico, but if you're in Mexico,

you're probably not listening because you don't speak English.

And I'm not about to do a Spanish version of this show,

but the toll-free line is 1-888-

The only thing they recognize is Adobo.

adobo is on here oh adobo yeah yo i hear that 1-888-278-8509 again the toll-free line here

tonight is 1-888-278-8509 it's on our dime and we continue with more show tonight everybody

thank you very much for hanging in there with us tonight and uh what else can i say

dropping dimes earlier today and now we're dropping pranks zolar if you want to call in

dude again calls on a toll free now um someone someone's asking if we have a filipina i don't

have a filipina wife with you know you're filipina fina's greek milkman is your wife filipina did

you have an ex-wife was filipina no sir no sir no and clone has an australian woman

Mine's Australian.

Australian, yeah.

Yeah, and that's a...

Clark, what's...

Give out your...

I don't know if you want to give out your MySpace, but there's a picture of your old lady up there, huh?

She's got a...

Yeah, that's her.

I don't know if you want to give that out, but...

I tell you what, she looks very Australian.

You should be very proud of yourself, sir.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Good deal.

Do you have any kids, man, or are you just you and the old lady?

It's just me and the lady right now.

I've got two by another.

Oh, I see.

So...

So I need a little child support.

Oh, man, that sucks.

You've got to get out of that.

You've got to get a lawyer to get you out of that.

Is that possible?

Can you get out of child support?

I don't think you can.

Why would you want to?

I'm sorry.

That's kind of insensitive.

I'm sorry, dude.

That's not good.

Yeah, Flatline asks if it says adobo food is Filipino food.

No, adobo is like a spice.

It's for meats and stuff.

I don't know how to explain it.

It's a Hispanic kind of spice you can buy in a big jar in Alaska.

It has, basically, it has salt, it has some garlic, it has a little bit of onion, it has

a little bit of cilantro.

All mixed in.

Different additives.

Maybe a little bit of pepper if it's con pimenta.

Yeah, exactly.

I don't like the con pimenta.

I like it just straight.

You can get it with Sazón too now.

Sin pimenta.

Yeah, sin pimenta, exactly.

And you can also get the Sazón one, man.

That's what I get.

It comes red.

Yeah, I'm not a fan of the Sazón too much because, I don't know, not all the time.

Sometimes.

We keep a few packets here.

You know, you get the little envelopes of it, right?

Yeah.

That's what we got here.

Every once in a while, we throw that in the rice.

That's the one that you can use on poultry.

It's really good.

Yeah.

The poultry says on it.

I put it on my turkey.

Nice.

On your turkey, huh?

Good deal.

Yeah, it's good, man.

Yeah, man.

Puerto Rican turkey.

So September it is, man.

What's up with September?

The apex of the hurricane season.

Happy birthday.

Clone's birthday.

That's right.

Happy birthday, Clone Turning 32.

Clone turning 18, he can finally buy cigarettes.

A Virgo.

Yeah, a Virgo.

What's that mean?

I know Geminis are crazy.

That's me.

Milkman is a...

He's supposed to be some kind of Virgo, but I'm going to be a virgin in here.

Oh, Virgos are virgins?

Okay, good.

They're innocent or something.

I don't know.

And Milkman, what are you, a Cancer or something?

I'm a virgin now.

Are you a Cancer?

I'm a virgin Islander.

Oh, that's a Cancer.

Man, my birthday is Halloween.

So what is that?

Is that Scorpio?

Scorpio.

Oh, Scorpio.

See, we're not supposed to get along.

I don't buy into that.

Mind out.

I don't buy into that bullshit.

You know, what's an astrological sign you don't hear much of?

You don't hear much about Taurus.

You know, I don't know any Taurus.

Pisces.

Pisces, yeah.

Aries.

I don't hear much about Aries.

You know who Pisces is?

You know who our resident Pisces is?

KDK.

Excellent example.

No.

KDK.

KDK is a Pisces.

Yep, KDK.

How do you know this?

Zohar is a Gemini just like you.

Yeah.

Oh, Zolar

I keep track of everyone

Yeah

Zolar's a Gemini, isn't he?

He's born in John June also, right?

Yes, he is

Yeah, we're really

We have a birthday really close to each other, I think

Yeah, that's good

I thought so, yeah

You crazy old Gemini

Well, happy birthday, belated or not

Yeah

So, Zolar's asking for Milkman's MySpace link

Milkman, you don't have a MySpace link

But you do have a picture

Which I have per your request

I have not shared with anybody

Mine, by the way, is Clone Your Own Homegrown

Clone to your homegrown, right?

Wait, clone homegrown, yeah.

Clone to your own homegrown, is that what it is?

I'm sorry, whatever, I'm fucking hit up.

No, it's clone homegrown, I'm sorry.

All right, clone homegrown, myspace.com for us.

Adobo.com is available.

Hey, reserve that for me, Athena, okay?

Get the corporate card out, the Amex we're going to get out here.

It's in the desk, the Amex corporate card.

We're going to get adobo.com, and we're going to register that.

We're going to put a prank call website on there.

We're going to blow KDKA out of the water.

We're going to crush him like Dr. Lego would do.

I'm going to do that in the name of Dr. Lego.

I'll bury you.

What the hell?

Is he freaking Nikita Khrushchev or something?

I don't know one except for me and Milkman probably understand that.

He's got a shootout with Smack in the Table and shit.

Yeah.

I got it.

Yeah, that fucking guy.

I'll bury you.

That's some scary shit if you think about it.

Can you imagine Vladimir Putin going to the United Nations and taking his shoe off and

banging it on the podium and saying, we will crush you?

You know how freaked out he was?

That would be funny if that guy from Iran, that prime minister, whatever his name is,

if he did that, you know, if he took off his shoe and just sort of banged it on the podium

saying he'll crush Israel.

That would really scare some people.

He'd be dead in a week.

He would be dead.

He will be.

You know what?

He won't be, but he's going to die.

He's going to die.

Thanks to Israel, I bet you.

It's going to be interesting what plays out.

Hey, there you go.

Neo's a cancer.

Yeah.

Neo's a cancer.

There we go.

And we got Clay, MST3 Clay.

Andy, I think he's a Gemini.

His birthday is, I think he just had his birthday.

When is Andy's birthday?

I think it was in August, actually.

August?

August, I think his birthday is in August, yeah.

Is it late, late August?

I'm not sure.

I'm not 100% sure.

There you go.

yeah i don't know i think late august yeah i know andy i know out of the three of us they used to

you know we're we're roommates and stuff mine was the first and he came right after and then

the other guy was uh around christmas time it was around december something yeah sometimes i'm

pretty sure andy's like a like a month after me so he's probably like late i say late august you

probably just had a birthday and i totally missed it so happy birthday to you uh yeah right right

Right on, Andy.

This is for you.

Happy birthday.

You damn freak.

I missed you.

You're one day closer to the grave.

That's right.

Get ready for it, Andy.

Soon you will be dead.

Make sure that you got the insurance paid up on your big 18-wheeler.

Yep.

We got a big old convoy rolling through the night.

And Milkman just running all over the place.

Hey, everybody.

How about some prank calls, huh?

That's what we're here for.

Hey, let's do some prank calls.

It's Gregama, baby, and it's Gregama.

We've got a service center by the name of Derps.

We also have a place called The Hump.

Derpa, Derpa.

Derpa.

And we've got Gimpy Golfer Cartoons in Northport, Florida.

That's it.

That's the one right there.

And he says he's a cancer.

Well, I'll be.

And he calls me a fat fuck.

You know what?

I'll kick Appleseed for that, you bastard.

I dare you to call me a fat fuck.

That's not true.

Gimpy Golfer Cartoons.

Thank you, Madman, for the ops.

Oh, yeah?

He gave you ops?

Good.

Awesome.

Some kiddie kids not around, so we can do stuff like that.

That's right.

We can do stuff like that.

Anyway, well, happy birthday to you, Appleseed.

Happy birthday, Appleseed Andy.

You cancer.

I know you had a birthday.

I don't think I said happy birthday to you when it happened.

I don't think I caught it, so whatever.

I remembered.

Better late than never.

Okay, we're going to call that last one then.

We're going to call it the Gimpy Golfer Cartoons.

I don't know what the hell that is, but we'll call it that.

Gimpy Golfer.

Yeah.

I have no idea where this is going, but we're about to find out.

um that's where they play goofy golf i suppose there's something hang on everybody i love goofy

golf man the around the fucking zippers on their mouth probably it's a freak sorry hang on

everybody we'll be right back with the next one i'm the tiger woods of goofy golf

golfer gimpy golfer the gimpy golfer gimpy golfer yeah who would that be i'm looking for the gimpy

golfer who does the cartoons i get the wrong number dude who the hell is this that's the

It's the wrong number.

Oh, you're in Northport?

Northport.

Yeah.

You know what I think about Northport?

Who is it?

I'm from Southport, sir.

Southport.

Yeah, Don Francisco's the name.

Don Francisco.

Yeah, how you doing?

What do I want to talk to you for?

Well, I want you to get out of Northport.

Hey, how about this?

Get off my phone.

How about I kick you off?

How about blow me?

How about I punch you in the mouth?

Have a nice day.

How about you come give me oral sex?

All right, you got it.

Yeah, you see you're homosexual too, aren't you?

Yeah, come on over.

I'm going to spread it around all over Northport, sir.

I'll put a gun in your mouth, motherfucker.

Hey, I got you on tape.

All right.

I got you on tape threatening me.

All right.

Give me $5,000 and I won't press charges.

All right, have a nice day.

You homosexual?

Fuck you.

Hey, Mom.

Jesus Christ, what's it take for the fucker to hang up?

God damn it.

How many times do I got to tell him something?

He threatened me, clone.

Go kick his ass.

Pervert.

Kick his ass, clone.

I'm going to send Guido and the boys over there.

Right from the madhouse.

Geez.

I'm telling you.

Guido is our poor guardian.

I'll kneecap him tomorrow.

Our lead bouncer.

This is a place called The Hump.

Send Andy out to kick their ass.

Yeah.

Send Andy out to kick his ass.

Well, I'm closer.

Well, Andy will kick anybody's ass.

No, he won't.

He's afraid.

I'll just stick his dog on him.

His dog with no nuts.

Everything's all our team, dude.

Yeah.

There you go.

Getting to Hump.

Hey, how you doing?

All right.

Good.

What's going on with you?

I'm fine.

Anybody humping around?

Yeah.

Yeah, is this The Hump?

Yeah.

What kind of services do you offer there?

What kind of what?

Do you offer the KY service?

Pardon? Sorry, I can't hear.

KY Service. Want service? Understand English?

Yes.

Hey, can you give me someone on the phone who isn't the help?

Sure.

Okay, thanks.

Do you want to make a reservation or something?

Yeah, sure. Go ahead. Hurry up. Preferably a man.

Can I use a reservation?

Whatever. I don't speak to women. Can you give me a man on the phone, please?

Okay.

Move it.

Goddamn women.

Move it, move it, move it.

Chop, chop.

Hello?

This is not a man. Are you a man?

What's so funny?

Why are you laughing like that?

Yes, I can't speak to women on the phone.

I'm not allowed.

Oh, you're not joshing me.

You're truly...

No, my wife doesn't let me speak to women on the phone.

You're getting me in trouble.

You want me to get another divorce?

What's wrong with you?

Move it along.

Come on.

I got three kids to support.

Stop laughing.

Get me a man.

Truly.

So you're not allowed to talk to me at all?

No.

We're not even talking right now.

No, we're not.

No.

Hurry up.

Jack coming to the phone.

Jack who?

Jack, the general manager here.

Valente?

Pardon me?

Is his last name Valente?

No, his name is not.

My name is not.

Hey, hang on.

My wife has stepped out real quick.

Hey, you've got to help me out.

Come on, you've got to get me out of here.

Ma'am?

Are you calling for a reservation, sir?

Yeah, but this marriage is going nowhere.

She just stepped out.

Just talk to me real quick.

I don't ever get to talk to any other women.

Well, here's the man that you need to talk to.

I want to talk to a woman, please.

Let me talk to a woman.

Oh, man.

Hi, this is Jack.

Can I help you?

Jack, are you a woman?

No.

I'm not allowed to talk to women.

woman. It's not funny. Okay. Why does everybody always laugh when I say that? Thank you, Susie.

All right, I was just talking to a woman, though. Is that okay? I'm not a woman. No,

but I was just talking to a woman who was here as a customer, and I just don't want

to get you in trouble. No, no, no, I'm just not allowed to talk directly to women or my

wife will leave me again. Okay. No, I'm definitely a guy. Oh, you're straight? Yeah. Oh, please,

Don't get too demanding.

Oh, so you're not straight.

Why should I be?

Well, this isn't going to work out then.

Do I need to be straight for you to talk to me?

She's jealous of gay men, too.

What?

She's jealous of gay men every goodbye.

No, but, oh, man, I was totally going to give him a great story.

Please enter your destination number now.

Hey, Athena, will you talk to him and say, ask if...

I work in motels anyway.

Athena will never do a prank call.

You should call and ask if I was talking, if your husband was talking to some guy.

Again.

I'll be good.

I don't think I can.

I already lost it.

Hang on.

Oh, God, if KDK was around, he could call in and beat Jill.

That's right.

That would be great.

Was my husband just talking to a man over there?

You've been talking to my husband.

You bastard.

You're cheating on me again with men.

180 withdrawal, cancer.

You know, KDK last night said that, I don't know if it was in a drunken stupor,

but he did say on record last night that his mom, his mother, cheated on his dad with another woman.

Well, he actually has been telling the truth about that for a while.

Oh, yeah.

I didn't know if that was public knowledge or not.

I was taken aback by that.

Yeah.

Wow, that's something, huh?

That's kind of insider news, but people pay attention.

You may have heard that.

People pay attention.

Well, you got another life.

You know, you think you're something over there in the madhouse.

And Gang Green.

Gang Green with.

Hang on, Milkman.

Gang Green with us on breaking news real quick.

Cut the music, please.

Gang Green reports that Busty Cops 2 is on right now.

Busty Cops 2.

So be sure to check that out.

Is that Cinemax, do you think?

Athena, can you go see it?

What's on Cinemax real quick?

I don't know what channel.

Cinemax.

Channel MS.

You don't want to watch that.

The channel masturbates you while you're sleeping on Saturday nights.

Let me tell you what, Cinemax for a 16, 15-year-old kid in the 90s, you know,

that was great access to some whoop-off material right there, man.

Saturday night, man, Cinemax, Skinemax is what we called it.

Oh, you know what I'm talking about, right?

Skinemax, baby, that's what I'm saying.

Free porn, got it right.

If you had it set up right, you'd get it right in your room.

Hell yeah, man.

Good times, got all the 90s.

Gotta love the 90s.

We talked to George Takei.

Believe that?

We talked to George Takei.

I know.

That's something else right there.

We'll have to call him maybe next week.

We'll give him some time.

Yeah, we confused him with Mr. Miyagi.

Next time I think I'm going to confuse him with somebody else.

Bulu Miyagi.

Yeah, someone else.

Maybe I'll say he's Mr. Fuji from the WWF or the WWE.

I love Mr. Fuji.

Yo, what was it like?

Yo, out of the time.

I already smell.

Athena, you didn't have to run to check Cinemax.

I was just kidding.

Come back.

She actually liked to do that.

I have such a great woman.

She's awesome.

She actually took that seriously.

She cut up her lip to check the TV.

It's okay.

I don't need porno.

I myself don't need it.

I don't need to masturbate.

She's mad at me now.

She's walking off.

Whatever.

Give me another beer while you're at it.

No.

I got three other ones here already.

She doesn't know I have a stash of beer right here under my desk.

That's the way to be.

That's how it is.

I hide beer in the toilet.

Keeps it cold.

Okay.

Yeah, man.

You got to know these tricks.

You got to know where you hide your porn and where to hide your beer.

She doesn't know where either is right now.

It's Miller time, gentlemen.

Let's do another call.

Griffin.

We got a Griffin roughed.

I was kidding.

I have more beer here.

But you can have that one.

Is that one for you?

Oh, you drink it then.

Get liquored up for me.

I like it when you liquor it up.

You scream less when I'm on top of you.

Because I don't crush you as much.

Oh, come on, baby.

I don't cause as much pain to your ribs when you're drunk.

I'm on top of you.

What the hell, Milkman?

That's sick.

How about we delve into the Lonesome Loser archives?

Milkman, Uncloned, any call that I've done in the past year?

You think anybody you want to try to call back?

A 24-hour number?

I feel like the Dunkin' Donuts.

Dunkin' Donuts, that's right.

I didn't think about that.

How about that?

Good idea.

Dunkin' Donuts.

Let's see if he answers.

Dunkin' Donuts in Detroit, Michigan.

Home of the fuck you bitch motherfucker guy.

Fuck you bitch motherfucker.

That guy right there.

Let's call him.

Let's do it.

That's him.

That's the one and only.

That's the one and only fuck you bitch motherfucker guy.

FYBMF guy.

FYBMF-er.

Fibbermuffer.

Yeah.

You know what's awesome, guys?

I don't have to go to work tomorrow.

High five.

Yeah.

I might get some pizza tomorrow.

Can we do pizza tomorrow?

Yes.

Hey, guys.

I got permission.

We're doing pizza tomorrow.

And here's a call that I haven't done.

I played it in a week.

Here's a song I haven't played in a while.

We're about to play it right now.

And we'll be right back with the next prank call.

We're calling the Dunkin' Donuts, the famous Dunkin' Donuts.

One moment, folks.

Wow, it says www.dobo.com is now a prank site.

Good work, Milkman.

Very well.

Very well done.

Dunkin' Donuts.

Hey, hon, how you doing?

Can I speak with Sam, please?

He's not here.

Is he not working at Nice anymore?

No, he left at 12 o'clock.

At midnight?

Yeah.

Word.

What time is it now?

It's 1 o'clock.

No, it's not.

Are you for real?

Yeah.

In the morning?

It's 1 a.m.?

Are you serious?

Why are you talking to me like that?

Like you got some kind of prejudice against me.

What's your problem?

Little bitch.

Get his home number, Milkman says.

Very good idea.

We waited too long to call him.

Good job, guys.

Thank you for making me wait.

I'm trying to find the button here so I can unmute Cloned and Milkman.

Hang on.

There you go.

Cloned's back.

Milkman's back.

Thank you.

I can hardly breathe.

Jesus, God.

I have to hold my breath any longer.

That bong head he does over here about killed me, man.

Because clone farted.

Speaking of bong heads.

Milkman, how...

Milkman.

I mean, Milkman.

I'm talking to the phone.

Milkman, can you play some Under the Bridge?

Under the Bridge?

Yeah, come on.

You're not that old, are you?

you oh man come on play something we know play something no no no no no play something we know

can you play stairway to heaven i know you know stairway to heaven do it you even have your guitar

there uh and i can't do this and then the headphones in the echo man oh that sucks i'm

sorry dude i'm sorry you were close though you're doing really well well i know it but i i gotta do

it without listening yeah i know i know the setup we have yeah i know try it awesome great well

Well done, Milkman.

That's a great song.

Keep doing headphones.

Bravo.

Bravo, Milkman.

Very well.

Very well done.

Clone Homegrown, why don't you play...

I can't see it, but my lighter's lit.

Yeah, and he just burned his head.

Clone, play the armpit fart for us real quick.

Do you have any instruments you play?

I play the trumpet.

I used to play the trumpet.

I haven't played it in years.

Clone just plays the bong for us.

That's our music here.

Smoke weed every day.

And that's okay.

Here's one we got.

We got Jew Mary Lou in San Antonio, Texas.

Jew Mary Lou.

Let's call Jew Mary Lou.

Let me pick a song here we can play.

Actually, I do.

I can't find my harmonica.

Do you have a harmonica?

You like John Popper?

I play Stairway to Heaven, but that's only like a 10-minute fucking song,

so we wouldn't get anywhere with that.

Let me see if I can play here real quick.

Under the Bridge I was talking about.

All right.

Good work, Milkman.

Milkman, how long have you been playing the guitar for?

I don't even know if he's listening.

I just started practicing the other day, man.

Oh, bullshit.

You just got the tape the other day in the mail?

Lurgatorn, five days or less.

Stevie Wonder.

You know that guy that's always on at night?

Steve Stefano.

Stefano?

Yeah.

That wears the black hat.

That tape?

Yeah, my dad ordered it.

Lurgatorn, five days.

Stefano.

That's bullshit.

My dad ordered that.

He didn't learn shit.

Nobody ever heard of him.

My dad learned the same riff and he kept playing it for like the next ten years over and over

over again that's all he learned from that stupid tape he sat through like one lesson i was like

dad oh you gotta do set sit through like more nine more of them and you can become a guitar master

i knew yeah i remember that was like learn play guitar in the first the first day i remember that

all right everybody here comes the next call jew mary lou we're right back folks

hey jew hello jew i'm looking for jew yo i need to speak to jew i don't know who you're talking

Mary Lou?

Call me.

Yo, my name is Carlito.

I don't know who you are, sir.

Is this Jew?

You must have the wrong number.

I need to speak to Jew.

What is it that you need, sir?

What do you mean, what do Jew need?

Look, just because I'm a Jew doesn't mean you need to treat me like that and call me a Jew.

You call me Jewish American.

You understand?

Hey, speak up, Jew.

Damn, Jews.

Hello.

What do you need?

I need to speak to Jew.

Who are you speaking?

My name is Eddie Garcia.

see ya i don't appreciate your old lady over there talking to me talking down to me because

of my religion what are you talking about she said what are you some kind of jew you know what

sir i happen to be a jew crazy you're crazy crazy you fucking jew hey hey sir i command you to

respond enter your destination number now i'm calling right back

hello just hung up on us motherfucker what a piece of shit bunch of bastards huh what about

about that clone what do you think how much it matters fucking damn jews they were answering

the phone and everything and all that

the hair lip is back everybody the hair lip is back

whatever you say whatever you say hell yeah look man you give him hell

Let's do one more call.

Let's do a call.

Let's do one more.

I'm starting to get a headache here, guys.

All right.

106.

Let's round out with one more call here.

I don't know who we can call.

Let's call Britton, man.

Come on.

Yeah.

Gotta call.

They'll be asleep, so we won't get nobody's answer on that one.

Well, here's one.

We'll call Britton.

Well, first of all, we'll call the 24-hour gambling helpline.

We're going to try this one more time for Flatliner.

Flatline X.

All right.

FlattenX, X Flatulence, whatever his name is.

You've got to, like, fast-forward through half this song to get to the good part.

It takes forever.

Jeez.

This is your generation, though, man.

It's a great song.

Yeah, it takes too long.

Look, four minutes and a half into the song.

There we go.

But the whole song is a whole presentation, man.

It's a whole elevation from a mood to a feeling, man.

Let me set this out there.

What's the group that, if you take four of their albums and play them at the same time,

that it's really trippy?

It's just any of them, probably, if you're playing four albums.

Yeah, you got me.

No, there's one that I've heard, if you play the four albums.

Like, you know, you've all heard of the Pink Floyd.

Oh.

I know there's a Pink Floyd one with the movie.

Yeah, it's Huey Lewis in the News.

Huey Lewis in the News?

It's not Huey Lewis in the News, man.

What?

It's Huey Lewis.

Huey Lewis in the News.

I know that, man.

That would be so trippy.

Huey Lewis in the News?

Aren't they the ones that did those?

Yeah.

Aren't they the Back to the Future soundtrack guys?

Yeah.

Yeah, man.

Blue Ushulis.

Whatever.

They're the homosexual reminiscent band, Blue Ushulis.

You guys are patronizing me.

Hang on.

Here comes another prank call.

What the heck are you doing?

The two guys.

What you're on?

I hate change.

It's all dirty.

Shit.

Yeah, pennies and shit?

Yeah, it's dirty.

I throw them away.

I keep quarters.

I throw them in cars.

I was going to set him up.

Oh, I'm trying to get through.

What's going on?

Are you leaving?

Good night.

Why is your head humming?

I don't know, but we tried that toll-free line again, and it didn't work, dude.

Do a domestic call, man, because we know somebody will answer.

Go out with an answer call.

Yeah, they're not working that well.

Okay, Lonesome Loser has just sent me a number here for a person named Minnie Mother Hardon,

an old black lady, answered at 1.08 a.m. one minute ago.

This is in Florida.

All right, let's try that.

Hang on, everybody.

Hey, Ms. Harden.

Ms. Harden.

How would you prefer that I say it?

What would you prefer that I say it?

Your last name?

Do you have any sweet potato pie?

I heard you were selling sweet potato pie.

You don't do the watermelon pie either?

Oh, come on.

Have you ever made a sweet potato pie?

Would you make one for me if I gave you some money and gave you the sweet potatoes and then the pie?

Do you make good pie, sweet potato pie?

Is it good?

I do.

What else do you make that's good?

I cook most anything.

Grits?

What kind of grits?

Do you like cheese or what?

Well, the way anybody likes them.

How would Jesus eat grits?

Huh?

What do you think Jesus will put in his grits?

Pork?

I don't know.

Do you think he'll have hand grits?

Barbecued chitlins.

I don't know.

Oh, man.

I don't know.

I just, I don't, I have this, I don't want, you know, I think Jesus is coming back, and

I'm trying to get a dinner for him, you know?

And he ain't no eat no dinner when he come back.

No, he, he talked to me.

Jesus, I know.

He talked to me through the TV.

He said he wants barbecued chitlins and, and, and, and watermelon and a sweet potato

pie.

And I prayed to God.

I got down to my knees and said,

God, tell me who can make the best sweet potato pie.

And God said, Ms. Hardin, he wants you to make the sweet potato pie.

Well, are you going to do it for baby Jesus or not?

Do you love Jesus?

Well, let's do it.

Come on.

I don't think I love the Jesus you're talking about.

No, same Jesus.

I don't think so.

Jesus comes up.

He don't worry about size, what have you.

He talked to me through the TV.

Oh, through the TV.

And then he called me on the phone.

Jesus did, yes.

Jesus Gonzalez.

He lives on the street.

Well, he wants a sweet potato pie.

He said he's coming back to judge the living and the dead.

And his kingdom will have no end, amen.

Well, come on.

You want to be saved?

We've got to cook him a sweet potato pie.

But you don't say.

Yes.

It's a matter, if we don't, then the devil's going to win.

We don't say.

We need to cook him a sweet potato pie.

And I'm making the turkey.

And the chitlins are coming out of a friend of mine in Minnesota.

Soda.

Yeah.

Well, come on.

Sweet potato pie.

No, but Jesus doesn't want it.

He's the white guy with the sandals.

You know who I'm talking about, right?

You know the white guy with the sandals and the beard?

That's Jesus.

Baby Jesus.

Well, he told me he wants you to cook a sweet potato pie for his dinner.

It's his next supper.

Come on.

Please.

If you don't do it, then I don't know what's...

No one's going to be saved.

I don't know either.

Are you saved?

I definitely am.

Well, you need to do this for us, please.

You know how many people aren't going to go to heaven?

I don't know and you don't either.

Jesus is going to fail.

No, he don't fail.

Yes.

Jesus is going to fail unless we cook him this sweet potato pie.

What do I need to bring you?

What do I need?

You need some nutmeg?

No, I don't need nothing.

Adobo?

Do you have any adobo in your house?

You know?

No?

What about...

Do you fry chicken?

I cook most anything.

How do you fry chicken?

How do you make it?

What do you use?

Well, I use butter with the fat.

You butter it up, too?

No.

What's in the batter?

No.

You just throw it in the oil?

In the fat?

Well, you lard?

All right.

Do you put any hot sauce on it?

No.

What do you eat with it?

Mashed potatoes?

Whatever I cook, it's good in the meat.

What's your favorite thing to eat?

I don't have nothing to eat.

Oh, why?

Are you diabetic?

Yeah, I'm diabetic.

Yeah, me too.

What are you on?

Are you on Metformin?

Are you on Glucovans?

I don't know.

Well, Jesus told me to call you.

Yeah, he did, Sugar.

Jesus told me to call Ms. Hardon to make a sweet potato pie so we can all go to heaven.

And he said to talk to you about your diabetes.

You're not taking care of your diabetes, are you?

Are you taking your medicine?

Are you running on Glucovans, Glucofades?

What are you taking?

You know, I'm on Bayeta.

You should ask him about Bayeta.

It's a good, it's an injection.

This is, I don't know, a poor old lady.

It's really good

That's what I do for the glaucoma

Now I'd kill for some sweet potato pie

I've never had sweet potato pie, honestly

I have no idea

The sweet potato's in it, that's all I know

I like that sweet potato stuffing

The Puerto Rican stuffing

Oh my god, Carly

That's the bomb, ain't it

Yeah, man, I can't wait for Thanksgiving, bro

It's coming soon

With the raisins, man

A little bit of cinnamon

Not good for you, but it is good for you

All right, gentlemen, you want to do it?

When they put a little bit of pepper in it, too.

Gentlemen, are we going to be available for a show tomorrow afternoon?

What do you think?

I'm not 100% sure.

What's your guys' status on that right now?

I say let's do it.

Let's do it.

All right, Clump, what do you say now?

What's your time?

4 o'clock, so we can hit 420.

Is that too late?

Maybe we should do it around 3 o'clock.

Your customers demand it.

All right, they've been asking.

Okay, we'll shoot for 3 p.m. Eastern.

That's 2 p.m. your time, Clone.

That's 4 p.m. your time, Milkman.

All right.

You heard it right here in the Madhouse.

3 p.m. tomorrow, 420.

Get out your tube and light up your bowl and fire up your splits.

What's the show called, Carlito?

It's Madhouse 420 Afternoon Special.

Friday night, Friday afternoon.

Let me tell you what.

We always do prank calls.

We always do good prank calls in the afternoon.

I'll tell you what.

It's the truth.

A lot of calls, a lot of good prank calls here coming up.

I wish I could tell you.

Zolar told me that he couldn't make it to call in.

He tried very many times, but I wasn't taking calls at the time.

He's talking to his wife, he says, or his old lady, his honey or something.

If that's for real, I don't know.

Oh, honey, honey.

You know.

Bum, bum, bum, bum.

It's got Miss Howard Stern on the front end of it.

I guess.

Or that rich lady he gets money from.

That's awesome, dude.

Zolar.

Come go down on me for $5,000.

That's how it is.

Zolar's a man.

He's a good person.

That's a nice gift, dude.

That's a good racket.

Man, I want Zolar to do a real Zolar Vision show again, man.

I've been dying for one.

It's been like more than a year since I've seen one.

More than a year?

Oh, with the video and all that?

A real Zolar Vision show.

Yeah.

The vision.

The vision part.

The vision part of Zolar Vision.

Maybe he'll turn...

The last one I ever saw was that nasty piece of shit skank master on there.

Ah, fuck that guy.

And my mind is still burning.

I'd like to see something better.

Fuck that guy, dude.

Fuck him up his ass.

Clone Homegrown, any goodbyes you want to say real quick before we let Milkman take us out of here?

Thanks, Madman, for the jobs.

Yeah, that's all he cares about.

And thank you, Clone, for joining us tonight, man.

Thank you for staying with us all night.

We finally got you through to a whole night, man.

No problem.

I'll probably be in the doghouse.

Eh, whatever, you know.

She'll get over it, dude.

Milkman, take us out of here, dude.

Take the dog in me.

Yeah, Milkman, take us out of here, dude.

Let us know what it is.

All right, man.

I'd like to give a big shout-out and a big thank you to our brother, Madman,

who provides us with this wonderful chat room, the RC chat room,

the boxing ring to knock somebody in the teeth,

You can smash them in the mouth and come back smiling later after your band's been lifted.

Thanks a lot to Mad Men for all the wonderful services you do for us, man.

I'd also like to thank Dr. Lego, that crazy, wonderful knucklehead,

lame-brained, crazy man up there in New York, Dr. Lego, who gives us our stream.

No, really, brother.

Thanks a lot, man.

We love you, man.

Just keep it up, man.

We love you.

Oh!

That was my foot, Andy.

I was going to shout my foot, Andy.

Also, I'd like to thank Katie Kaye, man, our benevolent, wise sponsor,

the man that made this wonderful community here that we all enjoy and love, man,

the prank community, PCU Underground.

Katie Kaye, our mentor, the superhero of the prank world, legendary pranks.

Thank you so much, big brother.

Also, I'd like to thank Carlito, man, our fearless leader of the madhouse militia,

my general, my commander, we hail and salute thee.

thank you for everything you do it's devoting so much of your money and time to this wonderful

community yeah i'd like to thank sin plans our buddies over there give us team speak

i'd like to thank clone homegrown our other partners that joined on the show i'd like to

thank andy out there trucking on the big 10-4 highway sending that convey tongue man we're

looking for it man and get cap off your ass if you can man yeah man i'd like to thank everybody

Everybody out there in the chat room, most especially, I want to thank you, our listeners.

It's all about you, listeners.

We love you, man.

That's why we do it, man.

We don't make a dime, but we spend some here.

We drop dimes to keep you entertained.

Yes.

We welcome you to come and join our show tomorrow, the 3 p.m. 420 Mad Show.

Get your numbers ready.

We'll call your bosses.

We'll call your friends, your family.

We'll raise havoc and bring them into the madhouse.

We'll see you all tomorrow.

See you tomorrow.

So soon.

That's right.

Thank you so much.

We love you.

Carlito, back to you, big brother.

That's right.

Okay, and Earth Dog confirms that, yes.

Zolar Vision will be on at 10 p.m. tomorrow.

Be sure to tune in for that.

Zolar Vision over at xyzolar.com.

Zolar Vision tomorrow, 10 p.m. Eastern, right here where you're listening to us now.

Also, KDK will be on Saturday night at 10 p.m. Eastern as well.

Joob and the Monkey Phone Kids more than likely will do a show.

I would suggest that would be sometime this weekend, probably either Friday or Saturday around 8 p.m., 9 p.m.,

so be sure to check out for that.

Sean Ward, he may do a show on Sunday night, probably not, but maybe he'll make an appearance Sunday night, 9, 10 p.m. Eastern.

Monday night's Dr. Suckbag and the Money Hour at 10 p.m. Eastern.

And Wednesday night's KDK Cycle Babble at 10 p.m. Eastern.

Be sure to catch that also.

So, hey, there you go.

Isn't that KDK and Lego's drama?

That's the soap opera, the ongoing soap opera of KDK, Lego, and Zolar

on Wednesday nights at 10 p.m. Eastern.

No, let's put it in proper order.

I rank Lego, Zolar, then KDK.

Well, here's my list.

That's my opinion.

If you want to know my list, number one is Sean Ward.

Number one?

Yeah, okay, let's do that.

Are we talking about drama or are we talking about PCU hosts?

PCU hosts.

Number one is Clone Homegrown.

Number two is, what's that guy?

The guy that couldn't get it to work out either, like Clone.

Turd Burglar.

Number three, I'll give you sure.

Yeah, Hunter is number three.

Billy Mirror is number four.

And number five is me, Carlito.

So there you go.

That's my top five list for PCU.

Yay, we love Carlito.

That is the true, true list who is the best here.

We thank you all for voting.

Yeah, thank you.

Those are the results.

Don't turn it upside down.

Those are the results officially here.

And let me thank everybody who called in, of course.

I want to thank Tuck, Jonathan, Saigon, Crazy Fucker.

Anybody else call in?

Zolar for trying to call in.

That's it, right?

Jonathan.

I said Jonathan.

That's about it.

Thank you, everybody.

Thank you for everybody who we pranked.

TheMilkMan.net.

Check them out.

They live in California.

Get them to deliver you some condoms.

And thank you, everybody who's listening.

We do this for you.

Thank you.

We do this for you, everybody.

Thank you for listening.

Why don't we do a show before 8 o'clock and do it until 10?

Wouldn't that make more sense?

I wonder about that, huh?

Why not, man?

Because that Friday slot is ours anyway, you know.

All right, let's do it.

Clone, you cool with that instead?

Let's do an 8 o'clock to 10 o'clock show tomorrow?

That's fine.

Okay, let's do that instead.

Okay, we got it.

We'll group up at 7.

What time are we going on?

8 o'clock p.m. Eastern Standard Time tomorrow.

We'll do a show.

8 p.m. tomorrow.

Yeah, maybe.

That's not 100%.

Not 100%.

Something could come up for me or any of us, but we'll make it tentative.

And that Carlito has gas.

We'll be on the air.

Okay, so possibly I'll give you an 82% chance we'll do a show.

That's pretty good.

That's not bad at all.

is a better chance

than Sean Ward doing a show.

That's pretty high, man.

That's almost as high as Clone.

Yeah, exactly.

So there we are.

All right, everybody.

Take care.

Thanks, Clone and Milkman.

And we'll catch you next week.

We love you, man.

White Power,

madhouselive.com.

Check the podcast.

Almost forgot.

4.28 p.m. show.

Yeah.

You are listening to a replay

of Madhouse Radio.

Well, I think you should

fucking hang up

or I'm going to find out

who you aren't

punching fucking face in.

How's that?

Be sure to visit us online

Online at MadhouseLive.com.

Calls (14, 1 h 8 min of 2 h 54 min)

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