2006-09-07 Show

You are listening to a replay of Madhouse Radio.

Well, I think you should fucking hang up or I'm going to find out who you are and punch your fucking face in.

How's that?

Be sure to visit us online at madhouselive.com.

Madhouse, baby.

Okay, there it is, everybody.

Good evening.

Welcome to the show.

Madhouse Radio is back.

By popular demand, as the music says, as you should have heard.

I don't know why that has to happen, but hey.

Hey!

10.04 p.m. Eastern Standard Time

On another Thursday

The first Thursday of September

Is this the first Thursday or the second Thursday?

This is the first Thursday, right?

Yes

Okay, we're okay then

It is

You say

The first Thursday of September

The seventh

The sixth

The seek

The sheeks

Sixth

Sheep

How was that tongue twister?

The sheek

Sixth

Sheek

Sixth

The sixth

Sheep

Sixth

Seek

Sick

That, that right there

Find that

Yes, that's the tongue twister.

I recommend drug organs for good cheeks.

Okay, alright, well, baby buggy bumper butts.

And we're here.

And the girl who doesn't talk.

Yes, that's the easy one, though.

And what was Peter Piper picked a pack of pickled peppers?

That's like the easiest one, too.

That's the first one you have to learn.

That should be in every immigrant test, you know?

If an immigrant can't say that right, he doesn't become an American citizen.

an immigrant should be able to say that three times in a row

correctly without stumbling

in order to become an American citizen

I just said because I can't understand what the hell they say

and they'll understand me half the time

racist am I? maybe perhaps

but we're here nonetheless

thank you everybody for listening to us tonight

Madhouse Radio you can reach us online

on AOL Instant Messenger

Madhouse Radio

if you're using Yahoo Messenger you can reach us at

Madhouse PCU Radio

and if you're using MSN Messenger

Madhouse PCU Radio

radio at hotmail.com we also have a live toll-free number you can call in if you're anywhere in the

united states and canada uh canada we do ask that you please keep those calls to a minimum but you

call in nonetheless that toll-free line will be repeated many times tonight but for the first time

uh you can try writing it down don't call it now because it's not open but it's 1-888-278-8509

Again, the toll-free line here tonight, where you can reach us, is 1-888-278-8509.

Here in studio with me tonight via satellite linker, well, first of all, of course, Athena's here next to me.

Athena, scream hi. She says hi.

First and foremost, of course, the three-time domino champion of the Caribbean, none other than the Milkman.

Milkman, how are you doing tonight, man?

It's always happening, man. It's great to be back.

I'm really enthused, man. I think we're going to have a great show.

I think so, too. I think so, too. I think you're right.

I'm excited about it, to be honest with you.

We'll be okay. Don't worry, everybody.

We're going to have a great show tonight. We're all buzzing.

We have nothing to do but pranks and talk tonight,

so just take it easy, relax, and listen to us, why don't you?

Also, of course, VL Saturday at Lincoln from the great state of Texas, I think it is.

Clone Homegrown. Clone Homegrown, how you doing?

Doing mad.

Yes, it is very alive.

smoking weed every day smoking weed every day here in this show that's me every day that is

that is yes sir and uh anybody else here no right we're okay we're good we're covered we got all

bases covered as far as that's concerned um i gave out how you call in i gave out how you uh

text in we give out how we chat in milkman tell everybody how they they can join the chat room

if you don't mind yeah man all you gotta do is get in there on irc.lazyashnet.type in the room

Zoom ECU and come join us, man.

Got a great boxing ring here.

A lot of juice.

You'll have some fun.

Stop by, man.

Provided by Madman Services Incorporated.

All right.

Hey, Carlito, could I do a quick shout-out to a friend?

Sure.

Shout-out to a friend.

Why not?

Great.

I'd like to welcome all our listeners from down under,

and I'd like to say hello to my friend Danny.

Welcome to the Madhouse.

Danny.

There's a Danny.

Oh, that Danny chick from down there.

Yeah, welcome.

Welcome, welcome everybody.

Everybody, welcome from down under.

We always love new people.

That's right.

We got people from the UK and from Australia and Canada listening.

And some Holland country or something.

That guy from Holland or something.

Worldwide.

Slovenia.

Yeah, that's right.

And we have listeners from California.

So thank you everybody tonight for joining us here.

I also want to say a special thanks to one of the six major comments.

Yeah I know I was right

That was just

That was just a radio

But hey

Hey guys

We're being brought to you today

Also

On the Madhouse Radio Network

Of course

PCU Prank Call Underground Radio

Go to PCU Radio dot com

PCU Radio dot com

Also

KDK Prank Calls dot com

KDK as in

Kill Death Kill

KDK Prank Calls dot com

That's KDK's site

He'll be on Saturday evening

Um

He was on last night also

Very drunk

Talk about ass too

Yeah

Tell me about it

He's got an ass cyst

cysts. So if you have any suggestions

for someone getting over the ass

system or cysts

cysts. Drink a lot and take

morphine. Cysts. How do you say

you know what's hard to say? Plural cysts.

Cystuses.

That's a funny one. Cysts.

Cysts. Cystuses.

Cystuses. Alright, that's fun. But yeah,

that's KDK. He's not. KDK has

had a boil on his ass and they

popped it and he can't sit down now.

That's what happened to him. Ouch.

Yep. Essentially that's what happened.

He didn't wash his ass, and he got a boil.

Oh, KDK's laying there on his belly and enjoying our show.

Yeah, he got a little bit of a hit.

I'm sure he's welcome to join in the madhouse.

That's right.

I'm sure he's probably shaving today.

He's trimming his mustache and everything today.

Tonight.

He told me he'd be doing that.

There's nothing else to do, so good.

Good for you, man.

Yeah, for the first time tonight, we're being listened to by Hits1Radio.com.

That's Jammin' 101.

I guess this gentleman does a...

It is a top 40, I think it's a top 40 format he's got.

But yeah, we have 106 listeners on there right now, man.

He's lost a few listeners since we started, and that's sad.

I'm sorry what I've done.

Welcome, all you people.

We're going to have a fun night, man.

That's right.

And of course, we're on PCU, we're on Livestream, and we're on T-Big Radio.

So we're on a total of 183 people are listening to us right now.

183 people listening to us right now.

I'm sorry I take that back

You got us a track 7 from that

So that's 176 people listening to us right now

But still, in theory

This is the most listened to show

On a prank call underground radio

I think that calls for your little news

A little bit

Look at that, we've broken a record for the week

That's great, breaking news

That is great breaking news, I'm very excited about that

That's right

What you got to say about that Dr. Lego?

I'm kidding, I'm kidding Dr. Lego

Yeah, how do you like that?

Yeah, Dr. Lego.

Joop says he's from Pennsylvania, everybody.

Don't forget Pennsylvania, where he's from, baby, Joop says.

Oh, yeah, baby Joop is from baby Pennsylvania.

Yeah, we love the Amish.

Penisylvania.

Yeah, Joop is our only Amish listener.

I don't know how to...

It's spelled Penisylvania, but...

Yeah, something like that.

Something like that.

Lonesome Loser, a.k.a. Uber Loser.

I think he's changing his name.

Loser, as we'll call him tonight, I guess.

Lonesome Loser is sending in numbers for us to prank call tonight.

night we've got the roxbury shell we got working man yes yes he is we got the roxbury shell whoops

there it is we got humped lumpers toots bar um what else foster old-fashioned freeze drive-thru

dining old-fashioned freeze dive-thru diamond what that just sounds long enough to fuck with

yeah that doesn't even acronym is foff of their foster's old-fashioned freeze drive-thru

Make sure I need a park and get me something to eat there.

Yeah, they're taking up too much space, man, on my screen.

We got Puritan Backroom Restaurant.

Now, that's a joke waiting to happen.

The Puritan Backroom Restaurant.

We got an Arby's in Alaska.

Homer, Alaska.

Where's Homer, Alaska at?

Our resident Alaska-esque expert.

Any idea?

I think it's right next to Central Alaska.

In the Kenai Peninsula.

It's at the very tip of it.

The very tip of the Dick Peninsula?

Gotcha.

I don't know exactly what you're talking about.

Yeah.

I had to cut there once

We also have

In the armpit of Alaska

We got Club Roxa

We got a bunch of shit here

Boise Town Square

We got a Victoria's Secret

We got Silk Stockings Entertainment

Strippers

And all types of debauchery

Send us your prank requests

All we ask is that you make sure somebody will answer

In English

Right

In Anglais

So yeah

Hey, the MySpace page for PCU Radio is myspace.com forward slash PCU Radio.

That's per EarthDog.

He asked me to give that out.

MySpace.com forward slash PCU Radio.

And you can also reach the Madhouse MySpace page.

MySpace.com forward slash Madhouse Live.

Talk to us over there.

And, yeah.

So let's start.

What's there to talk about?

Who died?

Who died this week?

What are our celebrity deaths this week?

Anybody we should know about?

Oh, Gilligan.

Gilligan died.

That's horrible.

Gilligan died?

Really?

The career of Tony Blair just died today.

Yeah.

Steve Irwin's dead, right?

We were supposed to talk about that.

Any thoughts on that gentleman?

Did he deserve to die?

Are you happy he's dead?

Are you sad?

I think he might.

Do you care?

Milkman, start off the round table.

What are your thoughts on Steve, Crocodile Hunter, Irwin?

Crikey.

I got stung in the chest by a stingray.

I'll be honest with you, the guy pissed me off.

I live behind my two little daughters.

He's got a daughter and a son,

but still, a two-year-old and a six-year-old

or an eight-year-old or something,

an eight-year-old girl, two-year-old boy.

Didn't he try to feed that little boy

boy when he was a baby to a crocodile or something once an accident then something happened like that

i think yeah yeah kind of like michael jackson over the balcony yeah he was holding a baby in

his arms and he was feeding a crocodile people were freaking out and i remember that yes yeah

what a moron for that what a moron for that but i guess a good guy living the dream living the dream

that's right great entertainer yeah he was a great entertainer and he did what he did for a reason and

now he's got you know hey man he died doing what he loved you know you can't knock that exactly he

live the dream just like that's uh that's your recipe for life clone homegrown clone homegrown

everybody is that's that's how i live clone homegrown is 79 years old and he looks like he's

25 so you can all learn a bit from clone homegrown home clone bone phone home clone grown um so yeah

so that guy he got hit in the chest by a stingray barb and he pulled it out and he died

you know and and there it is yeah that's when he collapsed that's when he pulled it out i didn't

have time but we prank called his office in january right reclude and me both called him

in january of this year and we almost got through to him we got through to his handler and she

almost bought that we were going to interview him but um i think at the last minute she i think

reclude yelled at her or something like that we i didn't get a chance to isolate that for tonight

but reclude dropped the gun yeah of course yeah reclude he suffers from that but you know so

So this is for Steve Irwin.

Taps.

As Will was doing when someone of, you know, some importance to us dies.

All right, great.

Rest in peace, Mike.

Rest in peace.

Rest, sleep with the gators tonight.

Or the stingrays, whatever.

Well, yeah, he did a great service unto the world.

So good for him.

A lot of people hated him.

You think the gators will get back to him in heaven?

Well, the crocodiles might.

I don't know.

I don't think crocodiles go to heaven.

Crocodiles are a devil animal.

I don't think they go to heaven.

You know, snakes don't go to heaven for sure.

I think they shed crocodile tears

Yeah, well that's why they go to hell

I mean, they're liars

Honestly, I don't think there are any crocodiles

Or rats, I don't think rats are in heaven either

You know, I know dogs go to heaven

All dogs go to heaven

I'm pretty sure cats go to heaven

All that good stuff

According to Muslims, 36 virgins will be in heaven

There are 36 virgins in the whole world

We're over 18

Or we're 20

And I don't buy it

Hey, there's one here, man, I'm a virgin

Right, okay

Okay.

All right, Prankmaster, whatever you say.

So, yeah, Prankmaster's back in the PC now.

Carlo made me a virgin again.

I did.

I have the recipe for being a virgin.

Guys, get with me after the show for that.

I have the recipe for you to become a virgin again with me and my book that I sell,

How to Become a Virgin in 10 Days or Less by Carlito.

There it is, everybody.

Enjoy.

How to be a virgin, Alan?

No, no, just how to be a virgin.

Just win it from your coconut tree.

Yeah, no, no.

Just how to be a virgin.

That's all that is.

Okay.

Okay, shall we do a prank call?

There's really nothing else to talk about.

What else is going on that's important?

I don't know, nothing, right?

I don't have anything else going on.

I don't have a job still.

We might need a phone card.

Is that important?

We got $1.80 worth of phone card juice.

Milkman, how much will that get us on your coconut phone card?

That should get us a couple hours at least.

That was a $10 card, and that got us about eight hours.

Yeah, we've used it for about three weeks now.

So we have another night, a good night.

You know, we were calling the Internet.

Let's just do domestic calls in the States tonight.

You know what I mean?

We'll be all right.

Excuse me.

I burped way too much this year.

Unless we get a special request, man.

Unless.

Unless we do.

Well, yeah, we do already.

Noonoo wants us to call that Hayes squad.

We're a bunch of Pakistanis that look like they, I guess, they customize cars and shit.

And he's been begging everybody on PC to call these people.

How about the videos released today?

On what?

There's videos today?

On, uh, you know, I read about them.

Yeah, on Al Qaeda training sessions.

Okay, so all I heard, I heard, I haven't seen it yet.

I have it recorded.

I haven't seen it.

That's me, always on the run.

I heard that they released an Osama bin Laden tape where he met the 9-11 hijackers and everything.

Is that the case?

Yeah, yeah, that's it.

Yeah.

Any ideas?

You know, they found Osama bin Laden now.

They know where he's at.

Oh, I'm sure they know.

Yeah, they have him cornered.

He's in Pakistan.

He's in the mountainous region of Pakistan.

Afghani-Afghani border.

That's exactly where he is.

Our famous George Bush said he would go anywhere in this world to kill him.

Yeah.

Yet, he's going fine.

Well, you know, they offered a $20 million reward.

...prisons that the CIA has been sponsoring is actually a reality.

Also, another headline today, Tony Blair's career will soon end.

The only guy to try to collect that reward.

He has actually volunteered to step down.

Clone, what are your thoughts on Osama Bin Laden?

My thoughts as a former member of the 82nd Airborne and having served in two parachute jumps into Afghanistan.

Well, my thoughts are the American government don't want him caught because they offered a $25 million reward.

And they stopped the only guy that tries to go over there and hunt him because he has Geiger counters and shit.

Right.

Who the heck are you talking about?

I know there was this dude, there was that cat who was actually trying to find him,

and he said he was about to, he was like a month away from being able to locate him or something like that.

He was like this vigilante that went out there, and he was fighting on his own.

They found this guy like on the way to there in the airport.

And he was going to use Geiger counters to find Osama bin Laden?

What the hell is he going to do?

Isn't that to detect earthquakes or something?

What was he, fucking live in a fault line or something?

I don't know.

It detects radiation levels.

Radiation.

oh radiation levels okay i don't know i don't know i mean the guy's on kidney dialysis man

you would tell me a guy kidney dialysis is living in the mountains son of a bitch man i don't know

man i really i i don't know i i i mean i find that hard to believe the guy is on kidney dialysis

has been on kidney dialysis for at least five six years he met with the cia agent in the hospital

in dubai sudan about a year or two about a year or two before 9-11 right he was in um

comes in sudan for surgery right and i guess the cia agent went to the same hospital right

so i've heard so i've heard the guy had contacts man they honestly the guy had context you don't

we don't know what's gonna what it is he was a cia agent up until the 1980s okay correct it was

that yeah i mean he he fought the mujahideen and all that you know they they fought not the

mujahideen well yeah the mujahideen they they fought um russia we were helping them fight

fight russia we trained them we trained the mujahideen to fight russia um because you know

we were against russia and russia was in there trying to invade them and take them over they

had a skirmish they're kind of like russia's version of vietnam they were in trying to push

communism or whatever in in afghanistan and and sure enough the united states was helping them

you know yeah the same thing happened we helped out iraq in the same in in those times also we

gave them funds and weapons and planes and shit because fucking you know they were fighting iran

All their weapons of mass distraction.

Yeah, all that.

The weapons of mass destruction they had, or our weapons, you know, we sold them to them.

Yeah, whatever it is, we sold it to them.

Anyway.

Not distraction.

All right, well, that's what I think.

I think, yeah, I think Osama's an asshole.

I think he's, I guess he's out there.

That's what Clone thinks.

What's the other thing?

Blair, Tony Blair, Prime Minister of the UK, I heard he's going to be stepping down within a year, right?

I think that's what they're saying.

Right, and they're going to try and push a big fight for that party to get him out of there sooner.

The pro-Bush party.

The Progressive Party?

No.

Is it the Progressive Party?

No.

The Labor Party?

No, no, no, no.

Right.

The New Labor Party, I think, is what he's for, right?

That's where his affiliation, right?

The Labor Party.

Basically, the allegations that came out in the news that the torture prisons do exist

And him citing what the United States in this preempted war, basically planned out war from the Downing Street memos, has come back to haunt him.

Now the people are like, aha, see what kind of people you've been involved with.

So basically they're going to get rid of the guy.

Okay, I understand.

And hopefully soon enough they'll take a boot shot.

So sure enough, here's what's going to happen, everybody.

You know, you get Blair out of there and you'll get a new prime minister who's against the war.

He'll pull the U.K. out of the war in Iraq and the war in Afghanistan.

The United States is going to be left high and dry.

Our biggest, you know, the second biggest member in both those wars outside the United States, the U.K., and they're going to pull out.

What about the coalition of the willing?

Bullshit.

Well, who's left?

Spain is out.

Okay, Spain is out.

Japan's getting out if they didn't get out already.

The U.K. is going to get out after this all blows over.

What do they got, Italy?

I don't know.

Honestly.

Poland, I think, is there, too.

That's about it.

South Korea is a big one I think too

I think they're real heavily involved

Because pretty much South Korea's military

Is pretty much our military

An extension of our military

Just like Israel is

Just like Germany is

Just like Japan

Japan basically is an American military power

Their only military really is

Our bases and our carriers

Out based in Okinawa and etc.

In Japan

That's our Pacific outpost

I think the USS Enterprise is out there too

The Cirrus, not the Kirk and everyone

I think that's the other carrier

that's out there, right?

Isn't that the carrier

based out of Okinawa

that they're about to retire?

Is the Enterprise.

It's being replaced

by the Ronald Reagan,

I think,

or the George H.W. Bush.

There's a new carrier

that's going to go out there.

Oh, my God.

Nuclear carrier.

Yeah.

No, honestly,

that's being made.

The next nuclear carrier

is that one right there,

and I think it's being

based out of Japan,

taking over the Pacific Fleet.

Here's my final answer on it,

okay?

And I hope you guys follow,

okay?

Let's do it, Frank.

Okay.

very good moving right along everybody i just got a message from sir nunu what's he say he's got a

confirmed one somebody who spent one day in jail yesterday confirmed uh michael jailed for refusing

to wear a seat belt what says he's a firefighter has a fire lots of people yeah a lot he's had to

cut lots of people yeah he's cut lots of people out of uh seat belts so he says he shouldn't have

have to wear it i guess and he refused to wear one he got arrested for it excuse me yep well

that's bullshit jailed jailed jail for not wearing a c-bill what's this world coming to everybody i

don't know parasailing got a dui too any thoughts on that gentleman she's a bitch fuck her right

we would here we go yeah i want to i want to see her in the prison guard go at it yeah okay

Okay, in night vision, huh?

All right, good deal.

She can get slammed.

Yeah.

I don't know.

Maybe it's her trying to get street cred, you know?

I mean, her album flopped and that happens.

She's going to be hardcore now.

Yeah, I guess so.

Convict Lake Resort is also coming in confirmed.

We got a new news number.

Let's see if we can find out what the hell happened to this dude.

Hey, guys, just to let you know, Milkman, you might be excited about this.

We're testing a new system here tonight where you may be able to talk to...

Okay.

You may, you may, I give this a 50-50 shot, you may be able to talk to the people we're calling tonight.

And, Clone, same thing for you.

And if we play sound boards, they may be able to hear you.

So what I need, Milkman, you need to remember that you can't give me the little hints and clues in the middle of calls anymore because they're going to hear you.

You know what I mean?

All right.

So it's complete silence unless you're jumping in.

Unless you want to jump in on the prank.

Cloned and Milkman

Hopefully I'm praying to God and Allah and Buddha

And everybody

All of them guys

As soon as we can let's test it out

And find out if they can hear me

If they can't then no problem

Okay good

Good deal sir

We'll call the guy who got

Here's the thing he refused to pay the fine

Or do community service

So that's why that guy went to jail

That firefighter

He refused to pay the fine or do community service

He had to spend a day in jail, it looks like.

Well, that's some shit right there, huh?

You know what I mean?

That's terrible, man.

That's ass right there.

Okay.

Well, let's do it.

Let's call him.

Let's see what we can find out from this gentleman here.

I feel bad for him.

You know, that's bullshit.

But let's just fuck with him.

What can I play?

Here we go.

We're right back after this, everybody.

Are we on his side, first of all?

In reality, yes.

But for this call, no.

How's that?

Oh, okay.

I'll tell you what, Eddie Garcia is not going to be for this, okay?

How does that sound?

Fair enough?

All right.

You've reached the bone still.

Sorry, can't get you to the phone right now.

Leave your name down.

You have $1.

No, no.

I wanted to hack him.

Can't push pound, man.

Shit.

Well, that didn't work.

Oh, well, we tried to call him.

All right, let's check out some of our numbers here.

No problem.

Yes, he is.

And bad news, guys, apparently we're not going to be able to have you guys talk to the callers.

I'm sorry to have you guys all excited for that, but it doesn't look like it's going to work.

I apologize.

Were you going to change my pants now?

I was all wet.

I know you were.

I'm sorry, man.

Get the old lady.

Are you okay with the old lady?

I heard you were fighting with the old lady over there, man.

Yeah, we're all right.

She hates you, though.

Yeah?

She hates me.

You can't burn two bushes at once, man.

So what happened?

Is it because I call her old lady, or is it because someone was making fun of her?

and she thinks it has something to do with it.

Uh-oh.

I think she got something.

I got it.

Oh, she's sick?

She's sick.

Maybe that's what the problem is.

Oh, well.

All right.

Well, tell her I said hi, and I hope she feels good.

I'm trying to make it better.

All right.

Good deal.

All right, everybody.

Well, there goes Clone.

We don't even know her name.

Old Lady.

That's what we call her.

Clone's Old Lady.

Old Lady Clone.

Old Lady Clone Lady.

Miss Cloned.

Miss Grown.

We hope you come back.

We're going to call someone else.

We're going to call the Hay Squad, all right?

No, sir.

Noonoo, not good at all.

We are 0-2 for the night, dude.

We haven't even gotten through to anybody.

Noonoo, what are you doing to us?

Man, I mean, we're just sucking ass tonight.

Something, man.

Fucking, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaking of battle stations, what are we going to do at 420?

I don't know.

Next week, next Tuesday, let's do that.

Next Tuesday, all right, man.

Need to ask, is that an international card?

Hell yeah, it is.

We call everybody all the time.

Oh, of course, man.

Yeah.

It's the same one I use always, your wanker.

Yeah, your wanker.

It's the same one we always use here on the show.

Athena's gone.

Clone's gone.

I don't know what's going on.

I don't know.

Should we end the show?

Let's end the show.

All right, everybody.

Thanks for listening.

No, no, no.

This is for the madhouse, man.

Thank you, everybody, for listening tonight.

It's been great having you all.

Good night, everybody.

Thank you.

I'm just kidding.

I'm going to do that to you guys.

You guys get involved.

Meanwhile, back at the Ram.

Back in the studio.

Carlito did this.

Previously on Madhouse Radio.

That's what happened last time on Madhouse Radio.

It was brutal.

I don't know.

It was horrible.

Check out the podcast if you missed it.

Yes.

The toll-free line, everybody.

www.madhouse.com

Right.

Milkman, may I say you sound very handsome tonight?

Well, thank you, sir.

No problem.

I brushed my hair and combed my teeth.

You what?

You brushed your hair and combed your teeth?

Yes.

Shaved your tongue tonight.

Awesome.

The toll-free line is now open.

And again, the toll-free line is 1-888-278-8509.

Again, that's toll-free anywhere in the United States of America and Canada.

1-888-509.

Call

in right after this Lonesome Loser call.

Yes, after that.

uh john dowser sir sir on msn messenger is saying what's up man and we say back to him what's up

thank you for listening to our show sir we are very happy to have you on hey welcome as the first

time messenger welcome to the madhouse network madhouse family you will receive a guide and a

brochure in the mail tell two friends we ask tell two friends of our show always tell two friends

every week every time tell two friends and that'll get you a shout out that's right that

That will get you a shout-out.

We love new listeners here, motherfuckers.

We have 147 minus 16, 131.

And we take away another 7 for that.

124.

124 listeners right now to Madhouse Radio.

Yeah.

Super-dee-duper, everybody.

And Saigon is making a point.

The poor guy from Hits 1 Radio lost his listeners so far since Madhouse went simulcast.

And that's right.

That is correct.

He has.

But you know what?

We have a lot of people that are still listening.

72 of them

And

They're a music station

Most people calling them

Are looking for music

And not to talk to us

Not to listen to a talk show

And they move on

But

That's right

Most of them are still listening

We're not going to sit here

And talk about hippie bongs

And

Yeah we don't talk

Horse shit

Philosophy and all that

Bullshit

Yeah

We're going to have fun

We're going to do some calls

And we're going to talk some shit

Less

But we do real plant calls

Let's take a caller right now

Though however

Hang on

Madhouse Radio

You're on the air

What's up Carlito

Jonathan

Jonathan, Jonathan, the official first of the night.

What's up, Jonathan? How are you, sir?

I'm okay. What's up, sir?

Nothing, man. I watched Star Wars today.

Oh, that's good.

I watched Episode 3 today. How's that? You seen that one yet?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I've seen it, too, a thousand times, but I just felt like watching it today for some reason, and I enjoyed it.

Yeah.

Yeah. What's your favorite Star Wars episode, Star Wars movie?

Three.

Three? Episode 3, then?

Uh-huh.

Good deal, Jonathan. How's everything going with the buses?

Pretty good.

My bus broke down this morning, so I'm on a spare bus.

Oh, shit.

Really?

Yeah.

I had a small air leak, and the warning came on, and the thing just shut off.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

Your bus broke down today, dude.

You got a loaner now?

Is that what's going on?

Yeah.

I'm on a spare bus.

Good.

Well, hopefully everything works out with your bus, man.

Yeah.

I should be getting it back in a couple days.

Super-de-duper, man.

All right.

Awesome.

Awesome. And as long as you can keep working, as long as the money keeps coming in, then we're okay, right?

Yeah. Hey, are we trying to call a cheese boy back here?

No, we haven't. Send me his number again. Maybe we'll try to call him tonight.

I'm sending it right now.

You got it, Jonathan. Keep listening, man. It's always good to talk to you.

All right.

All right, brother, man. Goodbye. White power, sir.

All right.

All right, bye.

You know what? I swear Jonathan is a white power guy.

Milkman, what are you doing over there with the phone?

Going to the school round there, man.

That's what they do, sir.

That's what they do indeed.

Okay.

Hey, Jonathan said he sent you some sugar-free cookies,

and he just sent me some double-fudge chocolates here.

Oh, yeah?

It ain't too bad, man.

Well, I haven't got my sugar-free ginger snaps yet, no, but I'm waiting on it.

I am waiting on it.

That's a lot, man.

Yeah.

Yeah, I know, dude.

Anyway.

Okay.

And now on to a Lonesome Loser call.

Yeah, we're going to call the Convict Lake Resort.

Got it?

Oh, cool.

The Convict Lake Resort is what we're calling next, everybody.

Not affiliated with Convict Air?

No, as far as I know, no, it's not.

Formerly known as Con Air?

Nope, no, sir.

Here comes the next prank call of the night.

This is a good movie.

We'll be right back after this, everybody.

Here comes the first prank call of the night.

He got the whole world in his hands.

This is the Convict Lake Resort.

This is the Lake Resort.

No, it's not.

Where is this?

Who'd you tell me?

Where did you get this phone number from?

Oh, someone told me they called the Convict Lake Resort over here.

Yeah, but...

Yeah, so we want to set up a room, man.

So this is not Resort.

What is this?

Is this the French Riviera or something?

You sound French.

No, no.

This is the Jupiter.

Anyway, this is not the number that you're looking.

Oh, the Jupiter.

Yeah, okay.

We have plans to go there, too, though.

I just confused the numbers.

Hello?

Sir?

You rat bastard.

Sir?

Please enter your destination number now.

So I'm going to call him right back for being a dick.

Oh, god damn you.

Fuck it.

Who cares?

I hung up on him.

He's a bastard, that damn Frenchman.

The hell's a Jupiter, anyway?

Anyway, Jupiter.

All right.

Jupiter is a good name for a dog, you know?

Jupiter is for figs, man.

I don't know what the fuck it's for, dude.

I don't know.

Hang on.

Let's...

Wait, that's Joopsy Doodle's number.

You know what?

I think that was Joop's house.

Was that Matt?

I think so.

Yes, maybe that was.

I think that was Matt.

Jupiter.

Joop should change his name to Jupiter.

Matt was perpetrating a hoax.

Yes.

You turkeys.

How dare you slip a crazy number in there?

How did you involve Lonesome Loser in that mess?

How dare you join Lonesome Loser in that mess?

You ought to be ashamed of duping him.

Lonesome Loser works very hard.

Yeah, yeah.

Speaking of that, let's call another Lonesome Loser number, Carlito.

Thanks, Milkman, for telling me what I should do.

I got to fix something here.

Hang on real quick, everybody.

Let me fix my controls over here.

Got to go to options and fonts.

Here we go.

Motocons.

Let's see what I got turned off.

Off there.

There we go.

What do you got to find?

A what?

Nothing, nothing, nothing.

I'll be a dirty bitch.

Okay, that number didn't work.

But we can call

We can call Club Celebrity

Where a black woman answered

This is in Detroit, Michigan

Detroit, Michigan

Milkman

Milkman lived there for a while

I'm sure you enjoyed it there in Detroit

That's right

That's the right side of the tracks right there

Exactly

Let's play this here

We'll be right back after this, folks

We'll try to get a successful prank call this one

Yo, is this Celebrities?

Uh-huh

Yo, you looking for a bodyguard?

No, we're not

Not at this time

Yo, what about dances?

Pardon me?

What about dances?

What about what?

What about dances, yo?

I don't know.

You can call back in the daytime.

Yo, I just got up to all, man.

I need to dance.

Look at me dance.

Watch me dance.

Ha-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta.

Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta.

Look at me dance.

La-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

See that?

Yo.

Damn it.

That sounds too loud.

I don't think she even heard me tap dance.

That sucks.

I was in a dancing mood, everybody.

Watch me dance.

Yeah.

Anyway.

Let me be beat, Simon.

So we're 0 for 4 tonight

In terms of good prank calls

I'm sorry everybody

We're trying our best here

Don't go anywhere

It's going to get better

But you can call in and help us out

1-888-278-8509

Again the toll free line is

1-888-278-8509

Yes

Who we got here

Club Celebrity we already called

Club Rockza

da. Club Roxa.

Roxa. Roxa.

Club Roxa.

Elmo's Adult

Books and Video. Okay, let's try

that. I'm going to try to call Elmo's Adult

Books and Video, everybody.

Hang on. This is just

great, man. This is a great show.

This is a great, great

show tonight, man. We got either nobody answers

or the people don't want to play

or we get the wrong number.

Damn it,

man. What is going on? We're looking bad here.

in front of all these people.

I'm screwed by 125 people right now, man.

They all think we suck.

Well, honestly, I swear to God, this show is normally good.

No, man, you only...

Hey, listen, man.

A true performer knows you only look if you let your...

Is that how it is?

Sounds like a bunch of crap to me.

That's the way it is, man.

A true performer covers up the mistakes.

Look, man, were you ever a football coach in high school?

Hey, buddy, I'm two.

Yes, okay.

No, I was a center now, and I was a nose guard also.

I mean, I wasn't a center, but I was a defensive tackle.

That was me, and a nose guard, too.

too. That's always fun. Good times.

Good times. I was really fast, man,

so that's why they put me at center, and I would

hit people really hard. That's how you do it.

That's what they, yeah.

But then you got someone's hand on your ass the whole time, too.

That's why they put me as nose guard, because I knew how to take

a center out. Yes, that's right.

That's right, everybody.

Well, again, the toll-free line is

1-888-278-8509.

Humpin'

Lumpers. Humpin' Lumpers. That sounds

sick. Puritan Backroom Restaurant.

Let's try that. The Puritan Backroom Restaurant.

run this is in uh new hampshire let's stay away from the club you sound in place yeah i think

that's a little the club's always got no way it is too much i think for us okay well we'll try to

pull a club call because there's always so much noise to compete with you and you never get a

communication rarely yeah yeah you got a point well here comes the next call see if we get this

to work anyway one moment please hello i say okay hello from sigman the sea monsters i don't know

enter your destination number.

Shigman and the Shit Monsters?

T-Monster.

Man, they probably played that before you was born.

What am I talking about?

You're good, Ballard.

That's supposed to be a cartoon?

One, four, fifty-four minutes, eighteen seconds.

They dressed up in these stupid-ass, like, rubber suits.

What's that, one of those black-and-white weird shows?

Collar is cool.

Hmm.

Nineteen-seventy-six.

Good evening, parent and background.

This is Kim.

How may I help you?

Hey, uh, I just have a question, you know?

How many people in wheelchairs do you think you can sit down?

With wheelchairs?

Yeah.

How many do you have?

How much room do you have there?

Do you have room for 30 wheelchairs and their nurse aides?

In the restaurant?

Yeah, and we've got one guy in a hyperbaric chamber.

We've got a really long extension cord.

You've just got to plug it in, you know?

Yeah.

Well, we couldn't take care of that, though.

I don't know about that.

I mean, if you don't, it's against the 22nd Amendment and all that, you know?

Why is it against the 22nd Amendment?

Because you're supposed to...

We have wheelchair access.

Let me read the 22nd Amendment.

In all forms of duress and times of war, every restaurateur must make available towards him

and anyone whatsoever, regardless of race, creed, or disability, perfect stands and room within reason

in any establishment in the state of New Hampshire.

Yes, within reason.

Exactly, and this is well within reason, as bound between Martinez versus the state of New Hampshire last year.

We are handicapped access.

Okay, that's fine.

Good.

You said it right there.

That's what I said at the beginning.

Okay.

Before you read me that.

So we're coming in then.

And when are you coming in?

We'll be there in about 12 minutes.

We're coming down right now.

12 minutes, she'll be out there.

The nurses...

We close at 11.15.

Why is that?

Oh, because it'll take us exactly that long to get there?

Because if you look at our door when you come, that is our closing time.

Ma'am, Martin Luther King and Helen Keller didn't die for this, okay?

Okay.

Sir, I'm not trying to give you a hard time.

Well.

I'm telling you, our closing time is 11.15.

As long as you're here by then, that's fine.

It's easy to just brush away the handicapable under the rug, isn't it?

If you have been to our restaurant before, you would know that there are many handicapped people that come here.

But not like these handicapped.

These retards are about to kick the bucket any freaking day now just trying to get them one last meal.

As long as you're here before we close, I'll be happy to serve you.

Even the guy in the happyberry chamber? His name is Jimmy?

Yes.

Jimmy Mathis. He came down here and he showed us, folks, what the problem is.

Thank you very much.

Ma'am?

Yes?

I have gas? Listen, damn it, she didn't stay for the part.

That was funny.

There we go. See, it's not that bad, everybody.

Someone opened a can of something over here. What's that smell?

You didn't blow your system, man.

No, hey, Athena, smell the phone now.

Athena's like, no.

That smells good.

The phone smells really good now.

The cat took off running.

The dog left.

Poor cats.

Not bad.

Not bad at all, everybody.

Not bad at all.

Okay.

And, yes, that was me who farted.

That's me who pooed it as JNF asked.

That felt good, too, man.

Didn't smell that bad at all.

I'm surprised.

We have an Arby's here in Alaska.

Does Clone not close up back yet?

He's sick, you know.

No, he's not.

He's gone, man.

Yeah, he's sick, but he's sick.

You know what I mean?

He probably got sick.

He got that sick up on him.

We got a number here for Aloha Maui Gay Whiz.

Oh, I forgot to mention.

Before the show tonight at 7 Eastern on Sirius Satellite Radio,

our own Zolar, who will be on, I believe, tomorrow for Zolar Vision.

Tomorrow at 10 p.m. tomorrow on PCU Radio.

Anyway, very funny show.

My favorite show on PCU Radio.

Be sure to listen to it.

he gave a plug for his show

and he gave a plug for Prank Call Underground Radio

over the air

I was simulcasting and I heard it man

I was very proud of Russ

he said

he got to recommend

he got to mention

Zolar Vision on PCU Radio

he didn't say PCU Radio.com

but he said PCU Radio

he was so close to getting us there

so close indeed

Carlito and Milkman

And we'd like to say thank you to the 123 listeners that we have right now.

Again, we're having one of a lesser in terms of quality show.

It's a good quality show.

Okay, all right.

But that's not our super funny happy show we usually have.

It's a great quality show.

It's just fine.

We're doing just fine.

And that was a very good prank call.

So there we are.

You just stick around and enjoy because it's fun.

And you know what?

Here in the Madhouse, it's all about you, the listener.

All about you.

We have all forms of communication available for you.

You can call us toll-free anywhere in the 50 continental states.

You can reach us on Messenger.

You can jump right into the chat room.

We love our audience, man, our listeners.

It's all about you.

It's why we do it.

We pay every week to provide you with free entertainment.

So do not be discouraged and please stick around

because we have a lot more fun and participation for all you listeners.

We both quit our day jobs just for this.

That's true.

We both quit our day jobs.

Just for this.

Just for this, everybody.

We quit our day jobs.

I used to work in Rascal Scooters manufacturing facilities.

Uh-huh.

And not any longer.

Not anymore.

That's right.

I used to...

Nope.

I decided I would give it up, hang out in the coconut tree, and get my little satellite

antenna up in the air.

Yeah, I know.

I used to clean public phones.

I used to clean public pay phones.

They don't exist anymore.

All because of me.

Hang on.

Let's take this caller.

Good evening.

me and you're on the air go ahead i don't know thank you for calling goodbye i guess you did

that uh the beep scared him away the beep scared him away i have to turn it off i forgot to turn

it off you have to send me the mp3 of that tritone man that what that tritone yeah it helps a lot a

lot if you have telemarketers calling it you know yeah the second it calls through the hang zone i

used to actually do i actually used to do marketing calls man yeah and the tritone as soon as you hear

that you're supposed to get a function right on the computer and automatically takes that call

Out of the system, yeah.

So a lot of people don't realize it.

They just put a tritone right on the beginning of their call,

the electronic answering machine.

Most call marketers and automated systems will automatically delete you from their call.

Right.

Their call.

That's funny.

You buy that, what is it called, Athena?

Telezapper.

You buy that Telezapper.

It costs you like $60 or something.

Or you get a phone.

Come with it now.

We'll quit for cheaper.

But they used to sell the Telezapper little box,

and all it is is a little machine that plays that doo-doo-doo.

Every time you pick up the phone.

That's all it does.

That's it.

You know,

Lego's got one of them things, too,

but it plays like a pre-recorded message.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

We don't accept calls from unmarked calls.

Yeah.

Over and over.

I know, I know.

Well, that's fine.

My grandmother had the same thing.

It just played over and over.

Mm-hmm.

That's what you gotta do sometimes.

So if you hear that tone, folks,

if you're listening,

if you hear that tone,

you didn't have a wrong number,

we just,

we forgot to turn off that function.

Let's see if this is them calling again.

Try to do-do-do.

Oh.

We tried to explain it

Let's see

You're on the air

There it is

Hello, hello

AT&T Internet Relay

CA6325

Relay call

We don't accept

Internet Relay calls

No, no, no

Thank you

Bye-bye

Homosexuals on Internet Relay

Yeah, I hate the Internet

That's one thing

You do not do

In the madhouse

No offense

I know that you

Retards out there

Do not need

Internet Relay

Well, no

Don't offend the people

Just

In your own voice

The whole thing is

It's just boring

It takes too long

And yeah

That's the reason why.

That is the reason why.

It really detracts from the quality.

You're not speaking with a human.

Yeah, exactly.

And then we had to wait for the translation and stuff.

Just call in, man.

Just call in or have your brother call in or something.

We don't want to take the fake calls.

Milk Manor.

If you want to use your gay voice or your stupid voice.

Yep, yep, yep, yep.

So there it is.

I've got to get into something here real quick.

I've got to test this to some off-show business for like two seconds.

Milkman, entertain the people with something.

Tell them about something that's going on real quick.

Give me about 30 seconds here.

All right.

Well, I'd like to thank all of our friends out there in PCU.

We've got a chat room today, lazy-med.de.

Come and join in, man.

We've got all 30 people already in here having a great time, man.

Some of our favorite listeners in here, Brandon Vegas.

Hey, Brandon.

What's going on?

There's one of our new listeners.

Danny, hi, Danny.

Hey, Dr. Lego's in the house.

Dr. Lego.

Dr. motherfucking Lego.

That's all he said, man.

You know, let me say real quick, Dr. Lego.

Dr. Lego and gangrene.

Hey, hey, Dr. Lego, he's got, like, the best intro, I think, to PCU, I think.

I like that intro a lot.

It's very funny.

I love his opener.

Yes.

Yes, it is.

He did the whole thing himself.

And believe it or not, you know what?

I finally caught the Joopsy Doodle one with the way he's doing all those little voices

and speeding them up.

That is hilarious.

Oh, that intro.

You know what?

I take that back.

That's my favorite intro now.

But Dr. Lego is second.

He could change it, you know.

But, yeah, Joop's is funny at the beginning.

Dr. Lego's got a good mash.

Yeah, but Joop, man.

Joop has a funny ass.

Joop and the Monkey Phone Kids have a funny, funny ass intro to their show.

the monkey phone radio

because

it tastes like shit.

Yeah, something.

No, he's got the one

that's like a black guy

that goes,

last time I listened

to monkey phone radio,

I shot a nigga

named Tyrone.

Like that.

Something like that.

It's really funny.

It's very entertaining,

everybody.

And he's on

on the weekends,

usually around 8 o'clock,

either on Friday,

Friday,

Friday or Saturday night.

Be sure to catch him,

Joop,

the Joop and Friends

radio show.

Joop,

what is it,

Monkey Phone's

Retard Night,

I'm sorry.

Let me give him

proper accreditation

yeah

monkey phones

retard

that's

Joop and his brother

and his

and his other friend

some other guy

and some guy

named Beans

a bunch of retards

hilarious

yes

they make very good

phone calls

very happy phone calls

Joop's intro

is the best everybody

yeah

they'll be on sometime

this weekend

we already said

Zolar and KDK

are on this weekend

Zolar tomorrow

10pm

KDK

Saturday

who else is on

fucking

Lego

we talking about him

He'll be on Monday at 10pm

And KDK will be on Wednesday

That's right

Joop says he'll be going on tomorrow night

After Zolar

Or if Zolar doesn't go on tomorrow night

He will fill in

So Joop will be on tomorrow night

Sometime tomorrow night

As early as 10 o'clock

It'll be good man

Sometime tomorrow night

So hey man

If you're listening to us for the first time

Go ahead and call in man

Again, that's 1-888-278-8509.

Milkman, what time is it over there in Australia right now?

Now it's 1 in the afternoon.

1 in the afternoon.

So at 12 p.m. in the afternoon in Australia, for Danny, who's asking, she's complaining about time zones, that'll be the time that they are on.

There we go.

There you go, Danny, right?

12 p.m. is either Zolar or Jupe will be on tomorrow night.

Hopefully Zolar.

That's right.

Danny, we're at 11 p.m. right now.

Now you've got it correct.

Very good.

Very good, woman.

Let's call the Aloha...

You should be like 14 hours, I believe, in front of us.

Right.

Let's call the Aloha Maui Gay Weddings.

They're probably not open, but we'll call this.

Aloha Maui Games...

I'm sorry.

Aloha...

I'm reading the other one.

Aloha Maui Gay Weddings.

Well, wait a minute.

They might be because it might be 6 o'clock still.

You can't get married at 6 o'clock, but we'll try.

The plans.

Calling Dick's Body and Fender.

Hello?

Dick's Body and Fender Shop in Honolulu.

Hello.

Dick's, Dick's.

You want to speak to Dick?

Yes, please.

You have to speak loud now.

He there?

Now?

Jesus, I got you.

Hello.

Hello, Dick?

Dick?

Yeah.

How are you, sir?

Can't hear you.

Can you hear me, sir?

How old are you?

85.

Oh, Jesus.

Well, God bless you, sir.

Huh?

God bless you, sir.

I think you better call back later.

God, sir, hello, can you hear me?

I can hear you, but I cannot.

Do you still do body work?

Yeah, yeah.

You do body work?

I retired on body work.

Well, I'll pay you whatever you need.

You come recommended.

My body isn't tan enough.

I'm trying to get more color.

I need to get it more tan.

What can I do?

I don't know.

You have to call the body shop and find out.

Well, I called the body shop.

They said the best guy to ask is Dick.

He knew all about bodies.

Let somebody answer that.

Just a minute.

Okay.

Jesus.

My husband is dead. He's retired already.

Okay, well, here's the thing.

I'll pay him whatever he needs.

I'll pay for his medicine for the rest of the year even.

I just need to get more tan to my body.

Will you please repeat that?

I want to get more tan in my damn body.

Hello?

This is a body fender shop.

Exactly.

For the body, that's right.

Damn it.

God, that's...

I think Milkman's that old pretty soon that he can't listen.

You don't curse me.

Jesus.

You can't cuss at a girl for fending a hang-up, man.

I don't know, man.

God, that guy's old.

Huh?

Right?

Play with him, right?

Like, get him to where he can, like, answer,

and then, like, back away and say something stupid like,

you got a dick in your hair?

Hey, dick, how you doing?

Yeah, yeah, that guy might be funny to fuck with.

We need to come up with a plan for that.

Milkman, make a note.

I'm going to send you a copy of that here.

Here, put this in the research department real quick.

Have our guys in the research department check that out, okay?

Okay, you're not even in the goddamn Google Talk, are you?

Son of a bitch.

I'm in G-Talk.

The hell I ain't looking at you.

The hell you're not.

God damn it, man.

The hell you're not.

I see you right now.

God damn it.

You bastard.

Son of a bitch.

I just typed it to you, bastard.

I just gave the phone number out to everybody.

This is right.

I just gave the phone number out inadvertently to everybody in the chat room.

So, yeah, have fun with that.

Call Dick.

Sorry.

I just gave out his address and everything.

call everybody you know what on me

call Dick's Body and Fender Shop

I meant to send that to Milkman

don't call that now

whatever they're old they don't care

they don't know

they're not going to hear you anyway

so don't worry about it my bad

I just gave it out to everybody in the chat room

we'll call them another time

sorry old man if you're listening out there

you bastard

I'm 87 years old

that guy

that guy was in school with me

Yeah

He graduated two years

Wider than me

What is all this

I've got a place called

Ice Scoop Doggy Poop

Come on man don't mess with me

That shit Ice Scoop Doggy Poop

Shut up man

Big Mama's Country Kitchen

We also have

One of them urban deals

Where they pick up the dog

Hey Milkman what's up with Mary Menzies

Give me her number

Oh man it's late dude

if she won't be up now.

You don't think?

We can't call anybody internationally anyway.

We've got to save that money.

But we can call Big Mama's Country Kitchen.

Let's call Big Mama's Country Kitchen.

Let's do that.

Hey, call it Jack Masterson, man.

Okay, you got it.

We'll do that.

Kind of like get into, like,

mix it in over to, like, a fat ass album.

Okay.

Yes, we'll do that.

Big

Big Mama, this is Venus.

Hey, how are you?

I'm good.

Good.

What kind of cooking you guys have there exactly?

What kind of cooking?

Yes.

We have a cook here.

I didn't ask if you have a cook.

Oh, my God.

I didn't ask if you have a cook.

I just said what kind of cooking.

Why?

Why would you say that, yo?

Why?

What do you want?

I didn't ask what kind of cook you have.

I asked what kind of cooking you have.

We have no cookies.

Cooking.

You think because I have a list, you know, that I'm not a smart man?

Come on, man.

What do you want?

What kind of cookie you have there?

Cookie.

What kind of food, man?

Well, I guess you'll have to come in and look at the menu.

Just tell me.

I won't come in unless you tell me.

You want my business?

No, I could spend $500.

Woman.

What the fuck is wrong with these people tonight, man?

How do cookies?

I don't get it.

We'll try to call her back.

Hang on, everybody.

We're Jonathan's buddies, man.

I guess.

Enter your destination number now.

I promise you, Jack Masterson, and I forgot, so...

It's Jack Masterson.

Big Mamas, this is Dina.

Hey, Dina, how you doing?

I'm fine.

Good. Hey, do you have enough room for me? I weigh about 428 pounds.

I can't understand a word you're saying.

I weigh about 428 pounds.

Then you're fat.

All right, hang on. Let's get the instant replay on that. Hang on.

That is too much, man.

I don't know if I can do the instant replay on that

Hang on here it comes

Hey Dina how you doing

Hey do you have enough room for me

I weigh about 428 pounds

Then you're fat

That's fucking wrong

That's great

Oh man

You gotta call her back man

Ask her what she has

Yeah man

Yeah, man.

Someone should call in and just say that I'm threatening to kill myself

because I just got told that I'm fat, that I'm sensitive to that kind of thing.

Call in as Fat Albert and say, tell him that you don't think that you took everything.

Hey, hey, hey, that's not cool, man.

You don't talk like that.

This is my buddy, Jack Albert.

Yeah.

Jupe, call in, man.

Someone call in.

The toll-free line is 1-888-278-8509.

Here's somebody, everybody.

See, there's OR or Lego.

I don't know which one of these New Yorkers this is.

House Radio, you're on the air.

You should, you bastard.

I'll shove a giant hamburger right up your cock.

You'll kill...

What the fuck? What?

That's not kosher.

I'll call Playboy and tell him that you're a shemale

and you want to be in Penthouse.

Oh, yeah? You got me there, Dr. Lego, Dr. Schmegma.

How's it going today, man?

What up?

Nothing. Did you just hear that last call we did?

Yeah.

Do you mind trying to call back, you know, calling them back

and telling them that I'm threatening to kill off myself because I got called fat.

Because you who?

Because I got called fat by that lady that I'm threatening to off myself.

Okay.

I was Jack Masterson, okay, the overweight guy.

482 pounds I weigh.

Okay.

Tell them I'm your brother.

Tell them that I'm not taking it well.

He's from the Fat American's Priceless Hotline.

All right, hang on.

Let's try this.

Big Mamas, this is Deanon.

Yeah, hi, Deanon.

This is Brett Matheson.

My brother just called there a little while ago.

Okay.

You know, he's got some problems, so I'm sorry if he came off a little, you know, wacky.

Okay.

I think somebody told him he was fat or something.

And, you know, he's got a real complex about that.

And then when people say that to him, you know, he gets all...

Did he say that I said that?

Yeah.

No, I didn't.

How would I know if he's fat?

Oh, because he's about 400.

I mean, he's got a real problem.

Okay.

That's fine.

This is a restaurant. Can I help you with something?

Yeah, he just wanted to know what kind of food you guys serve there.

We have American food, hamburgers, sandwiches.

We have some Mexican food.

We have hamburgers. We have that kind of food.

Right. Okay, can you make like a sloppy joe kind of thing?

No, we don't have sloppy joes.

See, you'd have to really look at a menu.

Oh, well, can you take like the taco meat and just throw it on a bun?

Our taco meat is pulled meat.

It's not hamburgers.

Yeah, it's pulled meat.

So you want taco meat on a hamburger bun.

Well, what I was going to say, that's like a sloppy joe.

You take the taco meat and it's all ground up, right, with the sauce.

You put it on a hamburger.

It's a little spicier than a sloppy joe.

I can do it.

I can have the cook do it, yeah.

All right, how much would that be?

Hang on.

It's going to be $5.75, and that comes with french fries.

Cool, and can you, can you rub that on your pussy for extra flavor?

$5.75

I'm really particular to fish tacos, but can't get a good fish, can't get a good

Yeah, that lady just wouldn't do it

She wasn't cool, man

You're not cool, man

Look, I just, I didn't even call in to prank, I just called up to say yo

Hang on, hang on, hang on, let me clear the line, I think she's listening

Okay, she was listening over there

She was still on the line listening.

I didn't want her to get on to us.

Okay, so you were calling a prank.

You were calling to say yo.

I was about to say, you know, what's up?

Are you coming to my party Saturday?

Saturday?

I can't make it Saturday.

That's this Saturday?

Yeah, I would have flew you in, man.

I don't know.

I can't make it to New York on Saturday, man.

That's wish.

Yeah, I don't have any money, dude.

Wait on it.

Dude, I would have fucking taken care of it.

I wouldn't want to impose like that, man.

Have you flown me up to New York?

I wouldn't want to do that to you, man.

Hey, whatever, man.

Is KDK bringing his ass over there?

No, he was going to come over for Labor Day,

but because of his puss problem, he didn't come.

And he's got to work on Saturday, so he's done.

Oh, man, that sucks.

Well, there'll be other times.

Yeah, no, definitely.

I might have him come here and do the Christmas show with us.

Awesome.

Christmas show.

That'd be cool.

I'll have to do a nice Christmas show.

I have Kim dress up like Santa Claus.

Oh, yeah.

Female Santa Claus.

She's pretty sexy.

I mean, I don't know if you ever, like, fucked Santa Claus in the ass.

Not yet, no.

Let me tell you.

That's on my list of things to do.

Mardi Gras, sex with Santa Claus, and get that tooth replaced that I lost last year.

You ever see Bad Santa?

Yes, I have.

The woman who likes to fuck Santa Claus.

That's one of my favorite movies.

That's me right there.

And then she's in the back seat going, fuck me, Santa, fuck me, Santa.

Yeah, yeah.

That's a good movie.

That is a very good movie.

That is quality.

That's an Academy Award winner.

Yeah.

Madden snakes on a plane.

So do you get a Christmas gift?

Yeah, why not?

I don't know, man.

Yeah, we...

Dude, you got to understand something.

I mean, I may be a Jew, but half my family is, like, Catholic and Protestant.

Oh, that's beautiful.

Yeah, we do it.

In fact, we do it all.

Yeah?

We do fucking...

We do Feliz Navidad.

We do it, man.

Yeah, Cinco de Mayo.

I won't do any of that Lebanon shit.

Oh, no, no, fuck that.

That's not good business there, no.

Yeah, no, fuck that.

Fuck them.

We don't need their business around here.

You know, I was telling KDK the other night, I don't know if you're aware of this,

but Bush, you know, I do that money show on Monday night, yourmoneyshow.com.

Yes.

George Bush has put our country in more debt than every president prior to him combined.

Yep, I know.

It's over.

And it has nothing to show for.

No, no, it's fucking bullshit.

This is before he started, before his first administration, for his first term.

Had a surplus, I believe, right?

The last Clinton administration had a surplus, made more money than it wasted,

and it went from that to being like the administration that's wasted the most money ever in history.

Dude, it's Sanford and Sund government.

It is.

It's a bunch of debauchery and homoerotics.

You want to call the White House?

I know their number, but no, I'm not about to call the White House, no.

You know what happened to Turtberg on his network?

He called the White House one day, and we've never heard from him again.

Is that right?

That's exactly what happened.

True story.

I wouldn't lie to you, Dr. Leglet.

We will stay away from the White House.

All right, so you're going to be doing a show Monday?

You're planning on one?

What's the story with that?

Yeah, we're going to do a show Monday,

and it's going to be a very actually special show.

Hey, man, great show this Monday, by the way.

Enjoyed it.

Athena, right, you were here, too?

We had a great time listening to you.

Oh, yeah, you liked that?

You and everybody, it was a great show.

Oh, yeah.

Dude, did you hear that hooker fucking smack my ass?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dude, she fucking, like, she was, she tore me up.

She was, she could be good on the show.

What's that all about?

I don't know.

That woman, yeah, she was.

She was on top of her game

Even KDK was like

Get this woman a show

You know

That's what I'm saying

Yeah

I'm gonna call her back Monday

Do that

Call her tonight

Let her know what's up

I will

Alright

Alright man

Alright Lego

Take care of yourself

Say hi to Kim for me

Alright my brother

And the kids

And God bless you

God bless

Alright

Go on

Dr. Lego

Dr. Lego with a horrible phone connection

Man I don't know

I don't know what's going on

With phones

I know man

It's not like he was doing it

From a bacon frying pan

Or some shit

You sure it wasn't Jack Masterson in there?

Dad, that's Dr. Leggo's phone back there.

Hey, I'd like to say a big shout-out to my favorite Black Sabbath fan.

Who's that?

Black Sabbath fan.

Sabbath fan?

Black Sabbath fan?

Yep.

And who's that?

Yep.

My favorite Black Sabbath fan.

Who's that?

That's my friend on my messenger.

He just sent me a message.

Oh, okay.

I thought you were saying you had a Black Sabbath fan who was someone.

Okay, I see.

So that's it?

Shout-out to him?

What's he do?

What's he done for us lately?

I'd like to say a big shout-out to Black Sabbath Queen.

Okay, good, good, very good.

Thank you, thank you.

Thank you for stopping the show for that.

Hey, everybody.

You can call in tonight on the toll-free line, of course.

Hey, listener, you're welcome in the madhouse.

You are.

Everybody's welcome in the madhouse, except for one person out there.

You know who you are.

You're not welcome.

You're listening tonight, but you're not welcome.

I will shit upon thy headstone of thy grave.

That's right.

Post thy picture

Upon PCU for all to see

That's right Athena

You're not welcome to listen to this show

So have I told you yet

Milkman have I told you yet

We are down to 99 listeners now

Not bad

Not bad for 11.30 at night

We have 100 listeners

Yeah baby

I'm disappointed we only have 99 listeners right now

I should be doing better

Everybody be sure to visit

PrankTheWorld.com

It was just a brief

intermission call

from Lego.

Be sure to visit

PrankTheWorld.com

And now the numbers

will go up.

Now that he's off the phone.

Be sure to visit

PrankTheWorld.com

Damn it.

That's Dr. Lego's website.

And DrLego.net

and all that

and whatnot.

Santa on the radio.com

That's right.

Scree is in the chat room.

A gentleman by the name

of Scree.

He says he did a

Christmas prank once.

He said,

Ho, ho, ho, I'm Santa.

The guy on the other side

put his kid on the line

with no warning

and he proceeded to tell him

for Christmas you would be

you would have dead parents and a dead Santa

and a murder-suicide bid

he was 15 at the time with little sense

and even less morals

okay, even less

yeah, that's horrible

man, you know

hey, you remember we did that prank call

me and Zolar, we got on the PA system

of that Walmart

and I said that

that's a classic

Zolar gave out the

PCU website and he said

you're on Zolar version and I said yeah and Santa Claus

isn't real

I remember that

Santa Claus is fake

what do you guys call it the flashlight or something

I don't know we got on the PA system

it was great

you had to ask them to transfer

to something

so that was fun everybody

we did that here

on PCU radio

that'll be Zolar on the line

yeah yeah okay how about we take a break real quick we'll come back and do some more prank calls huh

i gotta i gotta get my meds all right man let's take a little break let's take a little break

you know which new promo i want to hear uh we have a new promo

oh the turrets guy oh yeah that's coming up next you're right very good call i'll be up next

okay well everybody uh be sure to visit madhouse live.com keep listening we'll be back in about

about five minutes it's uh madhouse live madhouse radio no it's morning right after this

yes i am you're gonna like it

be sure to visit us online at madhouse live.com yeah we're back everybody welcome back to the

show the show is back the back and the show back is the show and we love niggers

We are the most black friendly show

On PC radio

On the internet that is

The most friendliest to the African American

And the homosexual community

And the nerd community

And also to our audience too

In particular

We provide toll free lines

You may call in

That's right

It's not every internet radio show can give you a way

To call in toll free

But god damn it we have since the beginning of this show

1-888-278-8509

We have a total of

102 listeners right now

on our combined Madhouse

radio network spanning the globe

all over the place

like AIDS. We have infected

the internet.

That's right. Like AIDS infected

blood in your pool.

We are in there, but we are not a threat.

Right, Athena?

Because you can't contract AIDS in a public pool.

Cool. I just learned that today.

No, I haven't known that.

I don't know, man. We're going to stay off that commode seat.

Yeah, I heard you can get it from Blue Raft.

Blue Raft.

I heard Blue Raft.

Do the hover. Do the helicopter, man.

Whatever it takes.

Athena, you do the hover, right?

Breathe in that poison gas.

You always do the hover? Will you sit down, Athena?

If it's in the toilet, do you do the woman hover?

You know what I'm talking about?

You know what the hover is, right?

She's shaking, yes.

You grab the handicap bars.

Milkman, do you hover, or will you sit down?

If they had the paper things, will you sit down?

You've got to be kidding.

I don't sit nowhere unless I'm in a human being's house that I know.

I don't even do it then.

We have two bathrooms here.

I won't use Athena's bathroom.

I'll just use mine.

I'm not saying anything.

I just don't want to share anything.

Well, I'll use my mom's.

I'll use my grandma's.

I'll use my mom's.

And my family.

But that's it.

That's it.

Anything else, no way.

Yeah, I know.

Yeah, and it's, you know what, but I don't use urinals either.

I use a stall for everything.

Number one, number two, I always use a urinal.

You just pee in the sink?

I mean, no, I don't pee in the sink, but I always use a stall.

I do not like using urinals.

It's nasty.

It splashes up on you and sends you urinal.

Do you sit down when you pee?

No, I don't sit down when I pee, no.

I don't give a shit, no.

No, no.

All right, when you're wiping, do you reach between your legs or around your backside?

You do between, you do, no, you do around the backside.

I do around the backside.

side you're supposed to do between the legs right if you reach between your legs you've got some

problems yeah no i do around the back side the back side is how you do it and you go from from

you know you go back to forward to back you know what i mean you don't do forward back forward you

do back forward back you know we have a caller okay hang on let's take our caller here around

here did i interrupt the prank no you did not sir you can call it what's up how you doing

Oh, you're telling me, man.

What happened with you?

Uh, she's sick as hell, man.

Oh, she's sick as hell?

She's got what I got last night.

Oh, yeah?

Uh, what'd you get?

Food poisoning last night?

Do you think, or?

Yeah, that's me, too.

No, I think it's just stomach flu or some shit.

Oh, that sucks, man.

Probably gave it to her.

Uh, like a one-day thing.

Uh, okay, well, that's good.

She'll be over it then.

She'll lose some weight.

She'll be happy in the morning, you know?

It works out for everybody, right?

Lose dinner.

Yeah, yeah, man.

Yeah, yeah.

So she seriously pissed off at me?

for something I said.

I didn't mean to.

Just whatever happened

in the chat room

was kind of disrespectful.

How's Mike and T?

You know him, man.

He goes in there

and he talks gay stuff

all the time, man.

Did he steal your ID?

No.

Why?

He should not have, no.

As far as I know.

Was it him

that stole your ID

and was talking all this shit?

Probably.

I've got the logs of it

that what I think was

what it was.

I don't think I had

anything to do with it.

No, I didn't have

anything to do with it.

I don't think I did, dude.

I hope I didn't.

I don't know.

I'll send you what it was.

I don't know.

Well, you were there for it.

Was she in the chat room?

No, I wasn't ready.

I assumed names.

Yeah, all I did, I sent, you know, I was talking to you until you went to go pick up your meds,

and then I went to play my game, and I'm not paying...

I wasn't even fucking ready.

Well, the next thing I know, oh, really?

You went out there for nothing?

That sucks.

I fucking drove 15 minutes for nothing.

Dude, you got to call your pharmacist before you head out there, man.

You know that.

Oh, fuck that.

They told me 20 minutes.

When they tell you something, they should mean it, right?

I learned.

I just go the next day.

I drop my meds, you know, my prescription.

I leave it there overnight.

night. I come in the morning. Yeah, but I would have been out, so I did go a few days

without it and went and picked it up tonight. Yeah, I gotcha. And you got sick anyway,

so what the fuck. Walgreens sucks. Walgreens, yeah, you know. Yeah, they're kind of stuck

up the Walgreens on the street for me. I don't like them. They're close. That's why I use

them. I'm in their network. I don't want to transfer over, but they're a bunch of asses,

you know. So how's the show going? Eh, it's, you know, we had, you know, we finally started

getting a few good pranks here. We took a break. We just came back from the break and

And here we are.

You know?

I don't know what to say, man.

Yeah, we can.

You want to make a call?

Hang on here.

Let me see what I got.

Um, I don't know.

We're kind of low on numbers.

Here we have one in, um, where'd it go?

Hawaii here.

That'll work.

Dicks, pool, and spa.

Dicks, pool.

Yeah, we also have surf and ass.

What?

Surf and ass.

That's exactly what it's called.

Surf and ass.

In Hawaii.

Let's try to call surf and ass.

Hang on.

You're going to take this one, Clone?

You're going to...

You can take it.

No, I'll jump in, maybe.

Okay, we'll do surf and ass. Hang on everybody. I don't know what to do, but we'll do it. Let's see. Let's see what happens

Surf and ass?

Yes

Okay, can you explain to me, do you guys understand what the word ass means in the United States?

No, like, you know a donkey?

Yeah

Because they're like donkey balls, so the ass is a donkey

Okay, but is that what you really mean? I'm on the side, I know what you guys mean, right? It means ass?

Yeah, like, surf and ass

coffee, you know, like how there's badass coffee

and then there's the surfing ass.

Yeah. It's kind of offensive, though, you know?

That's badass. Yeah, but the thing is,

my son here, he's going through the phone book

and the next thing I know, he's saying,

ass, ass, dad, you're an ass.

Fucking cool with that. And then...

That's your problem. Well, look, he's 16

and he's been arrested twice.

Well, that's your problem. That's not

my son, that's your son.

Look, this is him right here.

And I asked him, where'd you learn...

I don't want to talk anymore, you know, if we're called surfing ass coffee

And just because a one person has a problem with it, doesn't mean we're gonna change anything for you, kay?

It's all kay.

Well, here's the problem.

You see what you taught my son?

Asshole, she didn't let me talk.

She's a little feisty one, isn't she?

Yes, she is.

She's one of the Lulu bitches, okay?

God, she needs a good dick and is what it is.

Sorry, Athena.

Didn't hear that. She wasn't paying attention.

That's all she needs.

Put that on.

Yeah.

I ain't had any Peter now for three months!

Whatever, dude.

Alright, I'm trying to see if I can get the lady to come back here so we can do another call.

Any second now, the bitch will come.

Ah, fuck it.

We'll just redial.

Uh, we're gonna call that other one, then.

What was it, uh...

Do-do-do-do-do-do.

Dick's pool and pool.

Yeah, that's the one.

Dick's pool and pool.

There's Dick's pool and spa.

Okay, we'll do that.

Because they think the toilet...

Damn it, man.

...as soon as possible.

God damn it, man.

All right, well, that's it for the pranks, I think.

All right.

I don't know.

We'll see you later, leader.

Maybe I'll be on a little later.

Hopefully, if you can, just come on in.

If we might end the show around 1230 today

Because it's not moving very well

You know, we're just bullshitting here

But, hey, whatever, man

If you make it or not, we'll catch you next week

Thanks for being on, man

We'll have you next week for sure

All right, man

Hey, I hope your wife feels better

Tell her I said I'm sorry

If there's a misunderstanding

But, you know, nothing but a respect here

Hopefully she feels better

And you too, sir

All right, we'll check you later, man

All right, man

Enjoy your spanking, clone

Clone homegrown

Calling from the couch

Yeah, he did.

We have it on tape.

He did it.

He absolutely did everything he accuses of.

Gotta love beer.

Gotta love beer, everybody.

Got to love beer.

Hey, it's our good friend, Dr. Mangala.

Hang on.

Crazy fucker from California, you're on the air.

Crazy fucker from California?

Who's the crazy fucker from California?

You, dude.

That's what you told us to call you.

Well, first, let me say this.

Go ahead.

You know the people and the homegrown clone there and you, Carlito,

and you're having a very fine show.

Well, thank you.

We're trying our best, but...

Hey, the fuck up the cell?

Oh, yeah, man.

After how many beers?

How many beers?

I haven't drank no beers, man.

In fact, I ain't drank no beer in months.

Yeah, but you're drinking that Manischewitz stuff

you're buying at the dollar store.

Oh, that's been gone.

Oh, you drank that all already.

Here's the thing.

This should be a public service message,

and it should be on all the labels of all alcohol everywhere,

is that before you consume this,

You should at least, you must, three more of this beverage if you don't want your liver to drift.

At least if you don't want a headache.

Oh, no, it's liver, man.

You know what causes cirrhosis of the liver to people that drink alcohol?

Because they don't drink three times more water than they do alcohol.

And when the alcohol gets in your liver, it evaporates the water that's in it,

and your liver starts cooking.

Is that what it is?

Well, they don't want to tell you that, you know,

because these fucking doctors make too much fucking money off of liver transplants

and all the other bullshit, you know?

Yeah.

So they don't want to tell you just basic fucking household medicine, is it, man?

You know, if you drink alcohol and you don't, that's why, you know,

you live to be as old as you want to live without your fucking liver giving out on you

is drink at least three times more water than alcohol.

That's a must.

That's a number one.

Okay.

Drink three times.

You don't mix your alcohol with your drinks either, right?

Is there any truth to that knowledge right there?

The what?

You stick to one drink.

You know what I mean?

You don't switch drinks for a night.

You're going to stick to vodka.

You stick to vodka.

You don't mix it with bourbon or anything like that, right?

Well, in my opinion, man, I one time was at this party, dude,

and it was like about 4 in the morning,

and, man, there was all these fucking glasses that were half full of shit,

and they were running everybody out the door,

and i fucking uh and says hey man can i drink what's in these half empty glasses they said

well you got to take it with you so i found this quart jar fucking dumped about 10 different

together man and i i ended up in jail that night but i had a goddamn good time god damn it man

that's all as long as you had a good time so yeah but that you know that was like over 30

fucking years ago dude up in it that happened up in canada yeah yeah i used to live up some

Some shit right there.

I love Canada.

I'm saying anybody from Canada that's listening, I love you, man.

I love you, sister.

I love you, brother, sister, man.

Canadians are good people.

Everybody in New York.

I like New York, too.

Oh, yeah, man.

I've been listening to all the shows on CUI.

I listen to Dr. Lego, and I listen to Zolar, man.

And I tell you, man, I'm getting off on all of it, dude.

You're getting off on all of it?

Okay.

Let me ask you something real quick.

What are your thoughts on the JFK assassination?

How old were you when that happened, and what do you think happened there exactly?

Well, I was about 13 years old when that fucking happened, dude,

and I really didn't think much of it at that time because it's like,

I'll tell you what, though, man, that Jacqueline Kennedy, man,

when she married that Aristotle Onassis dude, that Greek shipping tycoon dude,

I thought that was a good thing, and everybody was fucking talking shit about her.

Yeah.

It's like, but, you know, but the only thing I didn't like about what Kennedy says is Kennedy said this.

He says, this was one of his biggest fucking bullshit lines.

Fucking rich pricks from Massachusetts says,

don't not ask what your country can do for you, but ask what you can do for your country.

Right?

That's Kennedy, yeah.

Now, that's fascism, dude.

Dude, when your government ceases to serve you, then you're serving them, and you're their fucking slave, man.

You know, Hitler could have come up with that line.

And this guy George Bush, you've heard of the Homeland Security?

Yes, the parliament, yeah.

That's Bush's Gestapo.

Just like fucking Hitler had a Gestapo,

Bush couldn't come out and say, well, we've got to form the Gestapo because of the 9-1-1 towers that our buddy Larry Silverstein blew up and collected a $3 billion insurance policy on.

He couldn't come out and say, well, we've got to form the Gestapo.

See, if the motherfuckers can scare you, they've got you beat down.

That's what they did to the Jewish people.

That's how the Nazis did it.

The Jewish people couldn't believe that them fucking Germans would be so fucking evil

that they'd round them up.

They couldn't fucking believe it.

No, they couldn't.

They were astounded by the whole thing.

They were totally astounded.

They weren't like us Americans.

Everybody's fucking paranoid and thinking, you know,

that fucking Armageddon's coming after them

because they're slowly pulling the rug out from under us.

And it's like, now check this out, dude.

Dude, them Jewish people there, what happened to them people there over there in Germany,

that was totally fucking evil, dude.

And I'm telling you, it's totally evil what these motherfuckers are doing right now.

Yeah, I agree.

You know, bombing the shit out of the Middle East to steal their fucking oil.

Yeah, I think it's all a thing.

Hey, how did you get out of the Vietnam War?

You're that age, right?

How did you stay in the military?

I was drafted.

And, hey, man, my whole family is military.

Oh, yeah?

Okay.

So you did fight in Nam? Did you see any action?

Hey, you ask me and I'll tell you, I was like 17 and a half years old, man.

Okay.

And I was walking down the street one day in my fucking hometown.

And in my hometown, one of the biggest military bases there is, is just a couple miles down the road.

and it's like I seen this girl and she smiled at me and she was a hippie chick

and she walked into this coffee house, man.

So I follows her into this coffee house and get a cup of coffee

and she disappeared in the back somewhere.

But so anyway, I started hanging out in this coffee house

because they were playing like fucking some good music, man.

They were playing like Crosby, Stills, and Nash.

Crosby, Stills, and Nash at that time, that wasn't Goldie Oldies.

Them were hit number one records, right?

Right.

Okay, this was like 1967, right?

So anyway, to make a long story short, I started going back to that coffee house

because they had good coffee and they fucking had good music, good rock and roll,

and they were mellow people.

And I started talking to them, and these guys were Vietnam veterans against the war,

and they were still in the military, and they had opened up this coffee house

to counsel young guys like me not to get involved in that bull-fucking-shit.

And I'll tell you what, dude, they did a good job of it,

because, man, I turned on, tuned in, and dropped out.

Okay, good. So he just dropped out.

Yeah, but that's the answer to your question.

So I became like a fucking guy, man, who was totally anti-war.

And these guys didn't do it from their rhetoric, man.

They did it from fucking showing me pictures of what was going on over in Vietnam.

And like I say, man, it's like the Vietnam veterans against the war are the greatest bunch of guys in the world.

God damn it.

Of my generation, anyway.

way yeah well now these these guys against the war they're they're the greatest guys of your

generation dude i hope so i hope history does prove that man well history will prove that dude

because all you you cannot overcome you cannot overcome hate with hate that that is a law of the

universe you can only overcome hate with love right i mean there's there's over five million

million muslims practicing muslims in this country and that's a conservative estimate

and 99.9 percent of them man are good fucking people just the same as anybody else man

yeah i agree so speaking of which would you mind talking to a friend of ours here i'm sure you know

who he is the gentleman who works at the donut shop yeah what donut shop he works at a dunkin

donuts in michigan are we going to do a prank yeah i just want you to talk to this guy i want

I want to thank you about that, Carlitos.

That was cool last week.

Thank you.

You're a good dude, dude.

The Mystic Pizza.

That was really good.

Yeah, that was cool.

Whatever that was.

I like that.

That was good.

Hey, talk to this guy real quick.

What's his name in the donut shop?

Oh, yeah.

He leaves at midnight, dude.

We need to call right now.

Hang on.

Where is it at?

It's in Michigan.

Hang on.

Let me see if I can get a hold of him.

Hang on, dude.

It might be too late.

Oh, shit.

Hang on.

Let me try that.

It's three hours.

You know what?

Right now, it's only like 8.59 out here where I am.

All right, let me check.

Second Donut.

Hello?

Yes.

Hello?

Yes, go ahead.

Who is this?

It's Sam.

Sam?

Yes, yes.

Okay, now, Sam, my name is Lawrence Silverstein,

and I represent the Krispy Kreme Donut Company,

and we're thinking about putting a store in directly from you.

What are you going to do?

We're going to put in a donut shop, a Krispy Kreme donut shop, across the street from you.

Okay.

And we was wondering, until all facilities are up and running, if we need to, you know...

Yeah.

Is this Sam?

Uh, no.

Who is this? Is this a donut?

Who is this?

Yeah.

This is the immigration department.

All right.

Where are you from, sir?

Where am I from?

Yes.

Could you leave your name and your number, because we're really busy.

uh yes this is lawrence silverstein of uh the new world order crispy cream and defense department

and homeland uh department and uh what department are you from again what what i got you there

brother the department of donuts you say at the end there i don't know what he said at the end

dude he says what department oh i got you there brother and he hung down the phone over there

Well, anyway, let me clear the line, let me clear the line.

The phone's here, too.

We had a battery die on us.

All right, dude, well, hey.

Hey, Carlito, man.

Yes, sir.

Hey, after listening to PCU, dude, I can't listen to normal radio, man,

because it sounds like a bunch of fucking retards.

You guys are the fucking greatest radio station in the United States of America

and around the world.

Now, I understand that you're even going to Australia and the U.K. and all that shit, right?

Yeah, we're all over the place, man.

All right, dude.

That's good because you just keep evolving and growing, dude.

Sex, Batman.

All right, right.

Love, peace, and joy to all living sentient beings on the planet Earth, man.

Here and elsewhere, man.

Everywhere, man.

Everywhere.

God bless you, sir.

Love you, man.

All right.

That little Martian.

That guy is just, he's great.

He's just something right there, man.

Marvin the Martian.

Whatever he is, man.

I love him.

Whatever his name is, you know, some people don't like him.

Some people think he's someone else.

He's definitely worth a dime.

Whatever he is, he's a funny guy, and I love putting him on just to talk to people

because he's just got this view on things.

And you know what?

We finally got a hold of Sam.

That's great.

We haven't talked to Sam in a few weeks.

And he held him longer than like a minute.

Hey, and Clone's back.

All right, Clone, man.

Yeah.

I've been here for a little bit.

People, thank you, thank you.

No problem.

Good to have you back.

Well, that was good, man.

How does your butt feel?

Did you get a good spanking?

Oh, Jeeves, do tell.

No, I got a good dildoing.

Oh, yeah.

She got you with that one, huh?

Oh, God, I didn't say that.

You know, I've been working on an ice dildo here for the bedroom between us.

Damn thing melted.

Knobbing, knobbing, knobbing.

Yeah, I just got an ass cyst.

You got an ass cyst.

You got an assist.

Knobbing, knobbing, giggly, giggly.

The assist from Kobe Bryant.

All right.

Well, hey, that was great.

I think we got a pretty good promo from him.

Hey, they're an asectomy.

Yeah, an asectomy.

That's what KDK has.

Poor KDK.

Yeah, dumb fuck will make a good promo.

Yeah.

Gangrene says he just hacked his neighbor's router and he's going to a lot of porn.

We need to call him and tell him to stop going to that site that has pedos.

And he gives me his information.

I don't know.

Oh, I see.

He's looking at a lot of porn.

Some friend of his is looking at porn, apparently.

Okay, well, there's something to do.

Right, so he's acting his route, and he sees what the traffic is.

Oh, and it's porno.

Pornography.

Well, that's just sick, man.

We don't condone pornography on this show at all.

He must be somewhere up north there, like near New York or New Jersey.

He's in Tennessee, man.

This guy's in Tennessee.

That's sick.

Everybody in Tennessee is sick.

Everybody in that city is sick.

He must be on vacation.

Take me to another world.

Take me to another place.

Let me forget all that hurts me.

Speaking of famous Tennesseans, I'd like to say,

Hello, how you doing, man?

To Billy O'Neill.

Oh, hell yeah.

And Tuck, of course.

You know, I talked to Tuck earlier tonight just to give you an update on Tuck, our good friend Tuck.

He called me earlier tonight.

He will have his internet back in a week.

He took his computer today to get fixed, and he won't get it back for another week.

So he can't listen to us tonight.

The Madhouse's resident graphic illustrator and artist.

Him and EarthDog both help us out a lot here.

So, yeah.

What did that guy say?

He said after he listens to PCU, everything else, they sound like a bunch of retards.

That's funny.

That's something else, man.

That's pretty funny.

We better save that clip, man.

I'm glad I got that.

Yeah, I got that.

Add that one in there.

You got 428 pounds worth of fat.

I'm not.

It's 482 pounds, first of all.

482 pounds is how much I weigh.

Add both of those clips into our intro.

Yeah, I got that.

Yeah, we're going to have to work on some new stuff.

Do you mind if I...

It's so girly, Athena.

I don't...

We can do that in between segments when we go to break, you know?

Hey, do you guys know what Pilates is?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Pilates.

Would you guys do Pilates?

No.

Why not?

No.

Why not?

That's for California.

Free weight.

Yeah.

Milkman does free weights.

I would rather work on Nautilus or free weights or...

Yeah.

Yeah, well, Athena seems to think that I should do Pilates.

Saigon does Pilates in the nude.

Have you ever heard of a man who does Pilates?

Any of you two?

Do you think that's something a man would do, is do Pilates?

No, right?

Never heard of it.

See?

Athena, you understand now?

Athena doesn't understand why.

A lot of those humos out there do it.

Well, yeah, but Athena doesn't.

Danny does Pilates.

Danny, oh, hell yeah.

Well, see, Athena doesn't understand why I want to do Pilates with her.

And I tell her, because I'm a straight man.

I don't want to do Pilates.

I don't want anybody to know that I do Pilates.

She should be embarrassed if I were to do Pilates.

I do Pilates.

And I'm proud of my blue raft.

Next thing I know, she's telling her friends,

oh, my boyfriend does Pilates with me,

and then they're telling their boyfriends about it,

and then I meet them at some get-together,

and there's a faggot that does the Pilates with his woman.

So, no.

I'm not going to do it.

Saigon says do push-ups.

No, I don't see you doing it.

No, I'm never going to do Pilates, woman.

So get over it.

No, it's push-ups, push-ups

Yeah, so

Go run

Yeah, definitely no Pilates, everybody here

I'm a no Pilates guy

Guys, we're dry on numbers

Earlier, Jack Masterson had the runs

Yeah, he did

Lonesome Loser, I think, is out of commission

He might have gone to sleep early tonight

But we thank him for everything he's done

We don't have any new numbers from him

I don't have one from the archives

The archives

That would be a little tougher to do tonight, but we can do that.

Any ideas who we can call from the archives?

Let me see here.

Izzo's Illegal Breeders.

I don't know.

How about L.A. Crack?

Remember we had Jib call L.A. Crack one time?

I don't know if you remember that or not.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That was one of the calls that I think he actually got through on.

Yeah, that was an Australia call to an L.A.

I can't find it now.

L.A. Crack.

I don't know if he sent that or not.

I don't see it.

I've got to be honest with you tonight, the calls that we've had a lot of success with,

I know, Milkman, you're not going to be happy with this, but they've been from Prankmaster, actually.

You know?

And he's still sending in numbers.

That's sad.

Well, it's just one of those nights, dude.

What?

I didn't hear anything you just said.

I know.

I didn't hear anything you just said.

La, la, la.

number for gangrene he said he's he's hacking his i'm not going to mention he's hacking the router

not to get in trouble but i guess his neighbor is uh looking at porno right now on a porno site

called shoosh time athena can you open up the website you're the internet police porn cops

yeah athena is going to open up the website for me on the madhouse laptop shoosh time.com the s

S-I-P-C-H-O-O-S-H-Time.com.

I-P-C-U.

What?

Internet.

Porn.

Britney Spears is really a man, it says.

I don't get it.

Anyway.

Okay, so it's a wet hooker.

How can a man have two kids?

I don't know.

Don't you have two kids?

Hey.

Oh, you're right.

Britney Spears has two kids.

That's right.

She's pregnant with one right now.

Or she will.

She will be.

Okay, so the guy is looking at porno.

And we're going to call him from...

I wish I knew who was Gingrey.

Let me know if you know his ISP.

Do you know his ISP?

Yeah, find out his ISP.

And I'll call as his ISP.

Yeah, we'll call from his ISP.

BellSouth.net.

Excellent.

Okay, we got it.

We got a premise.

We have an idea.

We know what we're going to do.

He's with BellSouth.net.

Excellent.

And we have a patsy?

Yes, we do.

My name is...

I'll be Eddie Garcia.

I am with BellSouth.net.

and the gentleman is looking at porno.

Hang on, we got a caller.

I haven't heard you do a Vladimir voice in a long time.

Oh, that's been a while.

Yeah, that's right, Vladimir.

Hang on, let me take this call.

Good evening.

Hello.

Hi, who is this?

Neo.

Oh, Neo, what's up?

I'm not used to the new number.

What's up with you?

It's Evil Neo.

Evil Neo.

How you doing?

Doing good.

Put her on the call, Carlito.

I'll do that.

Neo, do you do Pilates?

No.

You don't?

No.

Do you do any type of, you ride a bike?

I'm not trying to be mean, but you would never...

Do you know what Pilates is even?

Do you even pay attention to that kind of thing?

You do.

I've tried doing Pilates, and no, that's okay.

Okay.

All right.

I got you.

Well, would you expect...

Yeah, but I do walk and I ride my bike, but yeah.

Would you expect a man to do Pilates?

Would that be something expected?

No.

Probably yoga, though.

Yoga.

See, and that's what I was telling Athena.

Yoga has just finally become accepted for men to do, you know?

Yeah.

I'm not about to be the guy to make the jump to Pilates.

I'm sorry.

Not for the male race, no.

I'm not going to be the guy to take that bullet.

That's the only game I'm going to do.

Pilates are like yoga.

Yeah, exactly.

I want to do yoga.

Athena, what if we just do yoga together?

Would you be down for that?

Yeah.

Okay, we'll get a yoga DVD.

We'll do yoga.

There we go.

Okay, hey, there's this dude who's looking at porno.

He's in Tennessee, and we're going to prank call him at bellsoft.net.

Would you want to hang on the line for that?

Sure.

Okay, all right.

Alright, let's see. If you want to jump in any time you can, for the time being, just feel free to hang on the line and listen to this live.

Alright.

Here we come with that. Hang on, everybody.

Oh, that's great. Beautiful.

It's a fax machine.

It's a fax machine. Whoa, that worked.

Whoopee, everybody.

Lovely. Fabulous. Wonderful.

Lonesome Looter says, I'm fucking pissed.

Fabulous.

He was watching the crappy game and, wait a minute, the Dolphins lost, man? Are you serious? Dolphins fucking lost?

Let's hope.

Ah, Jesus, God, man.

I guess the Dolphins won.

The Steelers won.

I guess, I guess they do.

So, um, so Lonesome Loser's in a bad mood.

Let's go.

Lonesome Loser's really upset.

He said he feels like beating the shit out of something right now.

I guess he really, he really takes the Dolphins football seriously.

Very, very sorry to hear that.

Um, Neal.

Yeah, I'm Prankmaster.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, he, uh, fuck Prankmaster.

Why is he coming back around to you now, huh?

I'm, I mean, yeah, I don't know.

The best numbers we had all night are from him, actually.

Um, would you like to call someone here?

I have a bunch of funky names

We got Ray Stinks, Harry Johnson, Mike Hawk

Mike Hawk

Mike Hawk, I get it

Um, Dick Link

Huh, I didn't have

Alright, here's what I'll do

I'm gonna put you through to Maxie Pad in Indiana

Maxie Pad

We'll be right back with that prank call

Here comes little evil Neo

Hold on there, glasses, we'll be right back after this

You know what, Neo, I'm sorry to say it, but I don't think this is gonna happen

Eh, it's all good

I know.

Well, hey, we'll try again next week.

Last week it didn't work.

This week it doesn't work.

Whatever.

Any shout-outs out there?

Anyone that's saying anybody's special hellos?

KDK, if he's listening.

I know he's your best friend.

Love, Nia.

Not at the moment.

Okay.

Well, hey.

Good luck to you.

Yeah.

Be careful.

Wear a helmet if you're on your bike.

Yeah.

We'll catch you next week.

All right.

Later, homegirl.

Smile later.

Bye-bye.

All right, brother.

Brother.

No one gets that except for me.

We love Nia.

Hey, I didn't know I had you on mute, man.

I'm sorry about that, dude.

My bad.

My bad, my bad, my bad, my bad.

Honks, one dollar.

Lonesome Losers back confirming for us.

We got Honks, one dollar.

Okay, cool.

Honks, one dollar.

Let's try to call Honks, one dollar.

Let's see what happens.

Yes.

I agree with what you say.

Thank God for him.

Where do you play that song?

Holy shit

We're doing bad tonight

With the music too man

How about some more

Johnny Cash for your ass

I'm gonna have to do a promo

For lunch later

I guess

Yeah man

You know I love the man

In black

You have that one song

That he did

The last one

The last one he did

Before he died

Hurt

I think so

I think I do

Yes I love that one

This one here

Okay we'll play this now

There you go

That just like that

You ask for it here

You get it here

Bring the fire

Whistle to KDK

Yes that's it

Okay we'll play this

and we'll come back with Honk's $1.

Hang on.

I hurt myself today

to see if I still feel

Hey, how you doing?

Honk's $1?

Yeah, this is the Honk's Polly store.

Hey, what exactly is the nature?

Do you have the $1,

everything you want to buy

is $1 there?

Uh-huh.

Okay.

Everything, absolutely everything,

do you have light bulbs for $1?

Hold on one moment.

One moment please, okay?

Honk, honk, honk, honk, honk, honk, honk, honk

I can't hear him

Honk?

Yes, everything in our store is a dollar

Okay

Honk, honk, honk, honk, honk, honk, honk

Hello?

Yeah

Honk, honk, honk, honk, honk, honk, honk, honk, honk, honk, honk, honk, honk, honk, honk, honk, honk, honk, honk

I did it, boy

Honk it, honk it, honk it, honk

I don't know why I did that to her

Please enter your destination number

No

I'm gonna try to call her back, hang on

You're supposed, you're supposed to ask her

Hey, do you have notebooks?

Yeah, we do.

How much are they?

Your current balance will allow you to talk for 41 minutes and 25 seconds.

Canned goods.

Yeah, potted meat.

How much are those?

Okay.

Do you have any potted meat food products?

Honey, I can't hear you.

Do you have any potted meat food products?

It's closed right now.

You have to call back tomorrow.

Well, can I come in in the morning?

Do you have any potted meat food products?

No, we don't.

They're spam.

Do you have any Vienna sausage?

Yes.

How many do you got on hand?

I have a hurricane coming.

I want to get some.

Honey, I don't know.

I'm off work right now.

You'll have to come in here.

Did you hear about the hurricane that's coming?

All I know is my son's in the hospital right now.

I don't give a damn about a hurricane.

Hey, you know how he got in the hospital?

Oh!

Who the hell was that?

I gotta say that.

Oh!

Damn it, man.

Oh!

I gotta shit.

Oh!

The hell was that?

Andrew Dice Clay.

The end of there.

Oh!

The fuck out of here

That's funny as shit

Wow

We got a bunch of good sound clips tonight

Yeah I know

We got a bunch of good sound effects tonight

For the show man

This is going to be great

I'm going to have a lot of fun editing this show tonight I think

Wow

God what the hell got into that woman

She got the devil in her man

At the end there that's what happened

You know how people get the holy spirit

She got the devil in her

Oh sick sick woman

She might have been bloated with a gas cramp there from that sausage.

Whatever, dude.

She ate all the pot of meat food product, man.

That's what it was.

Vienna weenie weenies.

Acupuncture and chiropractic excellence.

This was just confirmed by Lonesome Loser in Washington, the state of Washington, not the D.C. of Washington.

So we'll try to call that.

Okay?

And we'll play Ring of Fire now.

Not that one.

The other one.

I can do that acupuncture on your penis, man.

Maybe I'll do that.

Maybe it'll hang up.

Don't start straight with that.

Yeah, no, that's right.

Don't go straight to it.

You gotta work your way down to it.

Yeah, we'll start with the ass.

You know, this song is about hemorrhoids.

Acupuncture?

Acupuncture, please?

Are you calling to make an appointment for acupuncture?

Sure, whatever you say.

Yeah, yes, I am very interested in acupuncture, yes.

Okay, do you have an appointment for tomorrow?

Yeah, as soon as possible.

Well, honestly, I have tremendous pain in my back, and I think my kidney shut down, my left kidney.

Oh, so you're having, like, an emergency?

No, I mean, I saw the doctor.

He said, your left kidney is acting a little funny.

Try acupuncture in the back, and the kidney might come back, he said.

You saw your doctor today?

Yeah, earlier today.

He referred me.

So you would be a new patient then?

Yes.

How much are we talking about here to get these needles on me?

It's $130 for the first visit and then $50 per visit after that.

Oh, I've got my own needles, actually, though.

Will that get me somewhere?

No.

So how did you put these needles in my pressure points?

Well, actually, the acupuncturist would be the best person to speak to if you have questions.

Yeah, but you heard the stories, though, right?

You want me to just get the doctor to call you in the morning and she can talk to you about this?

How old is the doctor?

Pardon me?

How old is the doctor?

Yeah.

She's in her 30s.

Okay, that might be a problem.

Let me tell you what's happening.

The last doctor I went to was a female

I had a thing with her

My wife found out

And I'm not even supposed to see a female doctor

She fucking hung up already

What a bitch

How do you get to say my story

The life story thing threw her off

She just needs to get home

She has a kid in the hospital apparently

That's what it was

Oh god

That's a great thing

I want to hear that right now

She'll have to hear it on replay

You play it, but you know what I mean.

I want to hear it regardless.

Dude, we're going to call it a night.

Yes.

We're out of numbers here, man.

You know, we're out of numbers.

It's not a night.

My gosh, we do love learning some music.

It's not a night.

Clone is back for the night.

Hey, Clone.

Good for you.

Yeah, yeah.

Smoke weed every day.

Clone, any goodbyes you want to say real quick here?

He's saying goodbye to his weed.

Yeah, I just want to give a shout out to all you at Madhouse, Carlito, Milkman, myself,

Cena.

His self.

Clone is the only guy on this show who says,

say thanks to myself.

Thank you very much, so.

That's awesome, man.

That's awesome you can do that.

Clone, it's good having you on here, man.

I love me.

Yeah, that's true.

I can say that about my...

Clone, it's good having you on here, man.

Thanks for being on here tonight, man.

It's always a pleasure and an honor.

No problem.

Sorry about the back and forth.

Whatever, you know, it's happening.

It happens to me all the time, too, man.

I know how it is.

Milkman, it's time for your...

Is it true that I have a life outside of here?

And you know what?

That's a good thing, man.

It's an important thing.

I don't, but, you know, everybody else should.

Milkman, speaking of not having a life, go ahead and get us out of here, dude.

Tell us what's the what here for the show tonight.

Speaking of not having a life, I definitely won't be in New York or New Jersey anytime soon.

Okay.

Freaking laser.

Yeah.

No, but anyway, Mr. Madman provides us with this wonderful IRC chat.

room it's a little boxing room you come in and knock somebody's teeth out come back smiling

later on after your band's been lifted man we're all good friends here thank you so much mad man

for all you do also i'd like to thank dr our wonderful sponsor that provides us with this

wonderful stream so that we may tend we may tickle the ear balls of the world with our great show

and all the talent here on pcu thank you and god bless you dr motherfucking lego i want to

to give a special big thank you to kdk our benevolent sponsor the man that recognized

the brilliant talent that would become the madhouse carlito our wonderful leader here

thank you so much kdk we love you all you do in creating this wonderful creative community here

pcu of creative individuals also i'd like to thank carlito my fearless leader and commander

of the madhouse god what will we do without you pcu has never been the same and will never be the

same since we've become thank you so much carly for having me and all the fun you're welcome

you're welcome thank you clone homegrown yeah you're your own favorite you're your own favorite

favorite listener thank you so much

I'd like to thank the hardest working man in PCU, the legend, Lonesome Loser.

We love you.

Thank you.

No one could do nothing without you, Lonesome Loser.

God bless you.

You are a jewel.

Also, I'd like to thank you, our listeners.

It's really all about you.

It's not about me.

It's not about Clone.

It is about Carlito.

But anyway, it's really about you, man.

Man, we do this for you.

We pay every week to put this on the air so that you can have free, interactive, live entertainment from the Madhouse.

And we love you all.

Thank you so much for joining us in our chat room.

All you new listeners, all 250 of you out there, and all 50 of you, or 99 that are left, thank you so much.

Right.

Tune in next week.

MadhouseLive.com.

Take a great night, man.

We love you.

Well, we'll wrap it up here.

Thank you, Milkman, for everything you did tonight.

night thank you for everything yeah we'll do a 420 on tuesday i think thank you thank you yeah

we'll do uh clone you up for a 420 show what time uh we'll start around 3 p.m let's say what time

what time 3 p.m we'll start we'll take it up until like six or something yeah exactly two uh two

central three eastern i don't know what that is in australia sorry australian listeners but hey i

I want to thank all our 94 listeners that we still have right now,

T-Big Radio, Madhouse Radio Network, that one guy.

What was I called?

Jammin' 101, everybody on there.

Thank you for listening all night, dude.

We really appreciate it.

I want to thank also Danny.

Danny.

For tuning in and joining us here.

Black Sabbath Queen.

Thank you, Australia and Britain and the world.

and thank you everybody who called in

we had Jonathan, we had Neo, we had

Dr. Lego and Crazy

Fucker called in and everybody

who we pranked, thank you for being such a good sport

tonight, I have to

thank Prankmaster, he did send in numbers

that were actually good calls so we

recognize him, Wankmaster

thank you sir, it's all

in good fun and Lonesome Loser

thanks man, you already got your thanks but

yeah, everybody in the chat

room, everybody who listened, everybody else

all the stuff be sure to listen tomorrow

for Zolar

then Joop then Saturday

night 10pm Eastern is

KDK's Monday night

is Dr. Lego

in the evening and Wednesday night

will be KDK again with his Psychobabble

so be tuned for all that be here be tuned

and stay tuned for

your local for the

commencement of your music

and or pranks depending on where you're listening to us

from and that's it

and hopefully we'll be on Jammin 101

101 hits one radio a lot in the future.

We appreciate being on there, dude.

So, that is it.

Good night, everybody.

Good night, guys.

Good show, guys.

Bye, J-Nap.

Bye, Dad.

Bye, Mr. Nino.

You piece of wanker, you.

Fuck you, bitch.

I like social media.

You are listening to a replay of Madhouse Radio.

Well, I think you should fucking hang up

or I'm going to find out who you are and punch your fucking face in.

How's that?

Be sure to visit us online at madhouselive.com.

Calls (18, 41 min of 2 h 5 min)

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