2006-09-28 Show

You are listening to a replay of Madhouse Radio.

Well, I think you should fucking hang up

or I'm going to find out who you are and punch your fucking face in.

How's that?

Be sure to visit us online at madhouselive.com.

Yeah.

Oh, shit.

My co-hosts are not on.

Hey, guys.

How are you all doing, everybody?

Madhouse Radio starting.

Fashionably late as usual.

Music too loud.

There you go.

Wouldn't it be a show if the music wasn't loud at the beginning of the damn thing?

So yeah, we're here. We're going to do a show. We're excited. We're all jazzed.

We have Jesus in us, all of us, except for Clone. He's an atheist.

But other than that, he has the it in him.

Yeah, so here with us today, in the studio with me, of course, is the gorgeous, beautiful Athena.

Athena, wave hi to everybody. She waves hi.

Three-time domino...

Wow.

Yeah, that's what I said.

Three-time domino champion of the Caribbean, none other than Milkman Larry Holmes.

How you doing, Milkman? Say hi to all the ladies.

Not much.

Good to have you.

That's what I predict.

I predict an action-packed extravaganza tonight.

And none other than the man himself,

Clone Homegrown, checking in from Texas.

What's up, Clone?

How you doing, man?

What's up, Ramadan to all our Muslim listeners?

Is it Ramadan already?

Oh, shit.

I thought that was...

I guess it is Ramadan.

Ramadan, though.

No, man.

Just even rusty.

Man, I don't know what you do for Ramadan.

What do you do?

You fast, right?

Yeah, that's what you do for Ramadan.

You fast.

Starve all day until 6.

Until 6, until sundown.

I hear that.

You've been jerking off about virgins.

Yeah, the eventual virgins.

Well, that's only if you're martyred.

You've got to kill yourself and kill a few Jews along with you,

and then you'll get the virgins.

Remember that, everybody.

Remember that.

They don't have to be Jews.

They can be Christian dogs.

That's true.

Yeah, they can be Americans, too.

Americans and British, I guess.

I don't know why there would be any problem with Canadians

that Muslims will have, but apparently they don't like

Canadians that much either, but anyway.

But there it is. Apparently we were having

some technical difficulties at the beginning of the

stream kicking, and I apologize, but we should

be back to normal now. Here we are.

The toll-free line will be open tonight.

The toll-free line is, we'll

be repeating this several times, but

the toll-free line is 1-888-

278-8509.

Again, the toll-free

line here tonight, where you can call us

toll-free, toll-free, toll-free,

is 1-888-

278-8509.

I think this music is way too loud.

There we go. That's better. Now I can actually hear myself

talking. Brought itself up by itself.

Imagine that. It has a mind of its own, everybody.

And, um, yeah.

So we'll be talking tonight.

We'll be doing pranks. We'll be, uh,

doing something. So be tuned.

As KDK and DTT would say.

Um, I don't know. Anybody have

any news? Clone, how's the job going over there?

Yeah, Milkman has news, I guess.

Always been good when I can work.

when you can

yeah

it sucks you gotta

wake up so early dude

I feel sorry for you man

I would hate to wake up

that early in the morning

go ahead Milkman

what do you got to say bro

how that new

for the request

a prank to our

website man

very good

I don't remember

how to do that

well you gotta go to

you gotta go to the

website first of all

that's madhouse

live.com

that's our homepage

for the show

that's where you can

download pranks

you can download

shows and pranks

there you can

subscribe to the podcast

and you can also

request a prank

prank at the top of the page click on request a prank and uh send in your information it comes

directly to us here in the studio and we call it for you is that easy it's free of charge

and it's fun cloned is indulging and it goes straight to the desk that's right it goes right

here to the main page to the main desktop madhouse central and uh and what else can i say it goes to

a good cause right a damn good cause that's right small children in africa yes small children in

in Africa. Just the small children. Once they get

past... Spreading the disease.

Yeah. We gotta try to control AIDS

at the source. The small children.

The ones on the mom's pit

you see with the flies in the mouth.

Yeah, and the flies in the eye

and they don't blink the eye. That's sick.

Yeah. That's just sick,

man. Blink, motherfucker, blink.

That's what Chris Rock would say. Hey!

On that note, guess what? That's absurd. That's why they're

saving it for. I've got breaking news.

I've got breaking news. Clone, I need your

advice on this. And Milkman, I need your advice

on this.

Oh, we're in trouble then.

No, no, no.

In theory,

tonight is the last night

that I'll be smoking weed

regularly.

In theory.

Clone just laughs like,

yeah, alright, baby.

Clone's like,

yeah, right, motherfucker.

I've heard this before.

So what do you think?

Any suggestions?

Quitters never win, man,

and quitters never lose.

Have you ever quit, Clone?

Have you ever had to?

Has a judge ever told you to?

No.

Oh, man.

Come on, have some faith.

I was on probation for five years

and I still didn't quit.

Wow, don't you have to submit once a month or something like that?

Yeah, I had to piss once a month.

And you passed the drug test once a month?

Every month except for three.

You failed three times, so what, you had to spend the week in jail at that point when you failed?

Yeah, at the end of my probation.

Oh, that sucks, dude.

Wow.

Oh, man.

It wasn't just jail.

It wasn't prison, right?

It was just jail.

No one cares in jail, right?

Yeah, it was just county jail.

Yeah, that's a cakewalk, right?

Yeah, I guess so.

So were you stuck with more people?

You were stuck with like 10 people in a room or something?

Is that what it was for a whole week?

Yeah, shit.

It was more like 110.

Oh.

I guess it's not that bad.

That's cool.

No, they gave you plastic forks and knives and shit.

Oh, man.

That's fine.

That's not bad.

I can eat with a plastic fork in a night.

If I could hack that, Athena.

Right?

Could you?

Could you go to jail for a week?

No, Athena says no.

Morgan Spurlock did it for three years.

It was good, man.

Yeah, I know.

Stay out of jail, kids.

Don't do anything.

But yeah, I plan to quit smoking.

Tonight will be the last night for me to smoke here.

That'll be it.

I think it's the end of an era.

Milkman, you smoked for a long time.

You smoked back in the Willie Nelson days.

Were you going to smoke forever or were you just going to do it for a while?

Well, I think I'm not going to buy it anymore.

I'm not above the occasional toke at a party or at a get-together with friends or something like that.

Oh, I see.

A fucking freeloader.

Yeah, exactly.

Exactly.

Nah, man, you find out that you have no friends, and you'll never get another hit.

So that's a great plan.

Yeah, well, I don't have any friends left.

My only friend who would smoke me out was Andy, and he's gone.

And there was our friend Eli, and he changed his phone number, and I can't find him.

You never know. Florida's not too far. I'll come by one day.

All right, so when you come by, we'll smoke. That's cool.

If I were to go out to up north and hang out with KDKA or Zolar or something,

and there was some weed around, I'd hit it.

But I'm not going to be the kind of smoking every day, you know, every morning, waking and baking kind of thing like I've been doing for the last five, six years.

That's good, man.

Yeah.

Oh, don't worry, baby dog.

I'll take you tonight.

Yeah, I don't know.

We'll see.

I've said this before.

About once a year I go through this, and one time I went through a good four or five months without smoking, and I went right back to it.

We'll see what happens this time.

Yeah, I remember, man.

You know what this means, right?

What?

You're the only pot smoker on the show now.

That's one thing.

Well, that means more for me.

That's right.

You get all the weed that people mail us on the show, it goes directly to, you know, it

goes directly to Clone now, the inter-office mail system that we have here.

It goes to his mailbox from now on.

So send your weed to Clone Homegrown.

Clone Homegrown.

Living the dream, everybody.

Well, that's a decent amount.

Dude, this is a lot.

Athena, we're not going to be able to finish this tonight.

Look at this.

Care of Clone Stone at home.

We should roll a blunt.

Can you roll a blunt?

Do you know how?

Shit.

Milkman, can you roll a blunt?

Yeah, man.

We get those papers down here.

Actual, like, tobacco bees, man.

Yeah, that's good.

I have enough for a decent-sized blunt.

I don't think I can smoke this all tonight, man.

This sucks.

We need Andy here.

That's what we need.

Andy, come on down, man.

Come over.

I know.

I'll just quit tomorrow.

After I finish this blunt, I'll commit and quit tomorrow.

Yeah, you do that, man.

You do that.

You know, if I were to fucking quit, man,

Man, I'd have to do the whole rehab thing by now.

You think so?

Yeah, you know, I thought about looking into the Marijuana Anonymous or whatever it is.

But then, you know, they just try to push Jesus on you, man.

It's a bunch of crap.

Well, they don't have methadone clinics for dope ass.

I remember when I was a young boy, I used to get my weed for $5.

A whole ounce for $15.

box. We put together

a lunch money and we

go chug our milks and

go and smoke a big heater

the size of a

door that you can roll up the windows and

turn up the ACTC.

Whoever calls it a heater, man.

It has been flashing back ever since.

I don't know, man. Heaters, man.

Heaters. I never heard it called a heater before.

That's funny. Milkman's showing his age here.

Shit, dude.

Holy shit. That's what I'm saying.

Hey, man. The CD is

is going forward. I've edited about

one-third of it right now.

It'll be done, I'd say, in about two weeks.

I scouted out, you know,

today how I'm going to be creating it, and I got

some information, so hopefully soon I'll be able

to get that in production. Do you think anyone's

going to buy the damn CD, man? I don't know. I hate

to invest so much into it. I will.

Good. See, that'll be sold novel. You get

a free one. Cloned and you and KDK

and people like that will get a free one, so we need to get a few

suckers out there to buy it. Well, I want to buy some. Okay.

That's my complimentary one for my collection.

I want to buy some for all my friends and relatives and send it out for a Christmas present.

They'll say, what have you been doing with your life for the last few years?

Absolutely nothing.

Nothing.

Yeah, exactly.

Exactly.

That's what it is.

Yeah, man.

It's a great, not to sound like an opportunist, but it makes a great Christmas gift.

And I'm planning on releasing it probably for $8 a copy.

So right there.

I don't know.

If that's too much, what do you think?

And it's going near you in time for the Christmas holidays.

Yes.

at madhouselife.com

and...

Yeah, that's a good one.

How much does KDK

sell his CD?

I think he sells his

for $10, right?

His CDs?

I think they're about

$10 or $11.

I think he sells them.

Somewhere around there.

That's not worth it.

No, I'm kidding.

No, seriously.

He said he'd sell

the CD on his site too.

Yeah, man.

No, I'm kidding.

KDK's CD is great.

I never heard it,

but I've heard his stuff.

I've heard a few

of his calls.

They're pretty good.

Blowing.

Yeah.

Aw, yeah.

Clones got issues

with KDK.

Aw.

Yeah, no.

They don't like each other anymore.

You get your mic muted, don't be a good boy now, clone.

Yeah.

That's our sponsor.

We love KDK.

Yeah, it's okay.

We love everybody here.

We don't have, except for like two people.

That's right.

Almost everybody.

What do you want, that?

You see I found the three of those?

Isn't that cool?

Yeah.

Inside joke.

So yeah, anything we can talk about before we jump into the pranks?

What's been going on?

I don't know.

Hey, enjoy your last moments of freedom, everybody.

because the Republicans have taken over

and your right to habeas corpus has been removed

and you're no longer going to have to feel like a free person.

You're going to stay guilty until proven innocent.

So you're saying that habeas corpus is gone, not for everybody.

I thought it was just for terrorism suspects or whatever it is.

Anybody is a terrorist now.

That's the thing.

The definition of a terrorist is anybody they think is a terrorist or want to say is.

So it's going to get to the point where anybody who's ever...

They're not allowed to torture, but they're allowed to do tough interrogations,

and that's defined by Bush.

And that basically is all, okay, we won't put a bag of water over your head,

but, you know, all that naked shit and sticking things in your...

Well, they'll do the sleep deprivation and stuff like that.

That'll all be okay.

Yeah, sleep deprivation and shit like that, you know, that's torture.

They say it's not torture, but it is torture, man.

It'll go crazy.

That's the only way for the guys down in Guantanamo, man.

Think about them.

They can't sleep for a week.

Yeah, that's true.

Clone has a point.

Milkman has a point.

It sucks.

And the world sucks.

And our country sucks right now, the way it's going.

And hopefully the Democrats...

It's 1984.

It is 1984.

Where are you?

Take a better note.

You are a donkey, Mr. Bush.

There you go.

That's where George W. Bush was.

That's right, Mr. Bush.

Oh, Carlito, did you hear the latest?

Oh, what?

Speaking of our brother Chavez.

Yes.

7-Eleven

Hang on let me

7-Eleven yes sir

Is this a crisis or breaking news

I have two different diddles for it now

Two different jingles depending on what you want

This is a crisis jingle

We'll do the crisis jingle

You introduce it here for us

Breaking news right here on Carlito's madhouse

Take her away Carlito

I thought you were doing it

Holy shit 7-Eleven is dropping Citgo

7-Eleven drops Citgo right

So no more Citgo gas being sold at 7-Eleven

because Citgo is a Venezuelan oil company.

7-Eleven is taking on their own good.

That's all it is.

They've been working on making their own.

They're making their own fuel brand.

Yeah, they've been wanting to do that for a good 10 years now, I think.

So that's all it is.

I mean, they're making it out to be old.

Yeah, they started last year, basically.

They started last year because of all the uproar and everything

about all these Christian fundamentalists out there saying,

I'm saying bad things about our president.

We're not going to show him a weapon.

and get ready for some really shitty gasoline from 7-Eleven.

I guess.

I really like 7-Eleven.

It's a good store.

You can get a good hot dog there.

You know that Citgo is our sister company here.

We work with Petrovesa and a lot of the gasoline

because Citgo comes right here off this island.

Oh, right.

See, what's the point of that?

They're affecting the economy of the Virgin Islands,

the U.S. territory.

Come on, nobody wins in that case.

Big time.

You can't buy Citgo.

Hey, man, you have to switch hands all the time.

You know, yeah, you've got a point, Cullen.

It should just become one, you know, company.

One government.

The government should run it.

What do you want, that?

American-ized, yeah.

They do run it.

What are you talking about?

Yeah, I guess it's too expensive.

Halliburton, you know, Cheney.

I don't know.

It's sad.

It's a sad world we live in.

We hear that Russell now has another record millions in profits for that Tamiflu crap

that he was pushing out there for everybody

that bird flu for the last

two years. It's never happened.

You have to ask Crazy Fucker about this.

I'm sure he'll give us some good comments.

He'll have a good hour dissertation for us

about that. I'm sure he will do.

I'm positive he will.

What was I going to talk

about? We got another

thing in Columbine. Not Columbine. In Colorado

some guy killed a girl

sexually assaulted a bunch of women.

Molested some girl. Molested or something.

What do you think he did? Do you think he just diddled them?

Or did he actually do the deed with them before he killed one?

I wonder.

Oh, he probably thought he might be smart.

Yeah.

But how would he do that if you have six girls?

Come on, man.

If you're going to kill somebody, of course they're going to take the page.

Come on.

What's the point?

He's going to destroy the evidence.

Yeah, but I'm just thinking, I don't think he got any further than deadling

because, you know, how's he going to stop to do a girl

when there's five other ones standing around and he's the only one with a gun?

I don't know.

Well, he said he had a bomb.

I don't know.

I'm not making fun of the situation, but I'm just speculating maybe he just maybe tested him a little bit.

I don't know.

Fucking God.

Oh, fuck it, man.

Make fun of it.

He's an asshole.

That's what I got to say.

I don't give a shit.

They need to strap his fucking head and hang him with piano wire off the highest chapel.

He's dead.

Here's an idea that probably wouldn't work.

Yeah?

I say strap every kid with a piece, man, and let them go to school and have fucking fun.

You know what?

Survival of fitness.

That's right.

Right, get rid of the stupid ones, you know?

I always say, it's only the strong survive.

In the end, the Asian kids will build tunnel systems under the school, and they'll survive.

And the Anglos and everybody else will fight it out on top of the school,

and then they'll come and take over afterwards, right?

Milkman, you being of Asian descent, you know how that's how it works.

Actually, what'll happen then is that what's left of the human race will have to go underground,

and they'll turn into cannibals, you see.

and the people that are left on the surface of this world then the meek shall rule and america

speaking of asians did you see survivor the the end great next week great guy climbed up the tree

and fucking yeah he got the baby bird and was gonna eat it yeah i saw that that's kind of

sickening you know whatever that's what he wants to do i'm back into asians in this thing i really

think the asians are going to pull through uh with the wind they're no longer on the same you know

They merged tribes.

They split up the tribes.

It's not by race anymore.

Yeah.

But whatever.

It's still a good show.

They got my attention.

I haven't watched the show in a long time.

The agent was the one with the hidden immunity, too.

Yeah, yeah.

That's something.

The two Koreans.

Well, they had to do something.

They had to prey upon the haters out there that would watch just to say, hey, so-and-so's

going to lose.

And then by the time you see it's all rigged and everything, you're suckered in like an

idiot and watching the next episode.

It's a brilliant move.

I know.

Whatever.

every, as long as people watch and watch the commercials

and that's all they want, guys.

But I have a DVR, so I skip it.

The only kid that didn't watch it.

I don't know. That's at the end. That's what it's going to be.

Anyway, the chat... I recommend Looney Tunes.

You can't watch...

They don't even give Looney Tunes anymore, man.

I don't think you can watch that anymore. Where can you watch Looney Tunes?

I know. It sucks, man. Now you're on

Cartoon Network. I know. Even Cartoon Network.

Nobody carries Bugs Bunny or

Daffy Duck anymore, man. I mean, that's

the kids being... Well, Warner

had rights on it, so they probably

Probably have just stuck it away somewhere, you know, and it's just moldering away.

You've got to bring it back.

All the great episodes.

I know.

It's sad.

Okay.

Well, we have numbers, man.

We have numbers to call.

We have a phone card.

We have two, man.

We've got, guess what?

Mary Menzies.

We can call her tonight because Lonesome Loser hooked us up with the phone.

Yeah.

He did.

Anyway.

Right on.

Hey, Lonesome Loser.

The heart is out.

Where's my man?

I saw us doing a prank call.

God bless the Lonesome Loser.

Yes.

That's right

Hey he's sending a bunch of stuff here

Let me tell you real quick

Give me the rundown here

This is in the chat room

You can join the chat room

By heading to

PCURadio.com

You can also join the chat room

By going to

MadhouseLive.com

And clicking on the

Listen

Join

Link

At the top of the page

He's sending a number

For Super Friends

We also have

Midtown

Restaurant

Some guy named Nick

Keeps calling myself

From this place

Looking for some bitch

Named Nikki

So maybe call

Looking for Nick

See where you can find him

up yeah yeah we got that we got packer expeditions we got uh the sex shop here we got a soul food

restaurant we got brothers chinese restaurant imagine that we've got uh victoria's secret two

of them yo man yeah we've got oh here we go tel aviv kosher meats deli and liquor that's something

right there tel aviv kosher meats deli and liquor quit burping you bastard we also have a 7-eleven

that we can call. We have Sanford and Son.

That's enough of that, Clint.

Look at this. Sanford and Son Antiques and Auctions.

That's something right there.

Oh, yeah. That's what they call it now.

It used to be trash.

Sanford and Son.

Yeah.

And, yeah, we got our Walmarts here.

We got our Burger Kings,

our Walmarts in Hawaii, and all that stuff.

We got a few numbers in Alaska.

Big up to Alaska. Represent, Gnome.

It's all good. Represent.

Represent, AK. Yeah.

Word up.

um ak-47 man 47 man that's right that's right that's right um milkman you said you had a number

for uh for tom green right you have his phone number and we also have mary menzies coming up

uh also here yeah man there you go let's call mary menzies it's still early it's only 10 30

that's right she may only be in her jammies now maybe she need to check back in report with her

I don't think that lady sleeps

Remember she's a nice old helpful

Granny friend of yours

You don't want to provoke her and say anything nasty

She is a friend of the madhouse

She is a friend she's a good friend

She's our best friend

She is your mentor

Real quick I have written down here

I forgot to mention I have an announcement

The name of the new CD we've come up with it

Milkman you made it up so why don't you go ahead and tell everybody

What it's going to be

What's your fat ass been up to

What's your fat ass been up to lately

lately that's not it is that it oh shit that's it oh that sucks what a bomb is that what you

ordered that was a good one is that what you ordered seriously oh man i ordered it man what's

your fat ass been up to lately man no i thought it was how's your fat ass doing i like that one

better that's gonna be okay how's your fat ass been doing how's your how's your fat ass doing

or how's your reorder reorder yeah cancel that stop the presses stop the presses everybody need

to get that reprinted.

Okay, anyway, let's call somebody.

Oh, I got a joke.

All right, a joke from Clone Homegrown.

How do you know Steve Irwin wasn't wearing suntan lotion?

Because the razor would got to him.

That's weak socks.

The razor would got to him?

I guess that's, yeah, it did him in.

A lot quicker than cancer would, man.

That's something.

Poor Steve Irwin, you know, what can you do?

Have they buried that guy yet?

They keep burying him.

God rest his soul.

Every day I turn on the TV.

Finally, three weeks after.

God, and I'm telling you, every time I turn the TV back on,

another funeral service for Steve Irwin today, and it's like, okay.

Well, you know what they're going to do is they're going to split his body up into portions,

and for each type of animal they torture and torment,

they're going to feed a piece of that to him and tribute.

Wow, man.

Alligators will hit his head.

They just feed it to a truck.

I guess.

Clone, are you feeling better?

I know you were sick earlier in the week, like KDK.

I know you guys were kissing, and you guys got, what was it?

Yeah, I had a doctor's appointment today.

They said it was probably an esophagus, and we'll see.

Any painkillers for that, man?

No.

You've got to do that.

No matter what, you've got to just say, oh, my God, the pain is so bad, I need Percocet or something.

You always, I mean, I can go in for dandruff, and I'll say, oh, man.

Yeah, but painkillers are painkillers, man.

Damn painkillers, man.

It's fun.

I've got to get off of that.

Anyway, all right, seriously, let's do a prank call here.

We'll call Mary Menzies next.

Mary Menzies.

Well, let me call this one first.

I'm going to call the Tel Aviv Kosher Meats.

It's getting late, bro.

I'll call her next.

Don't worry.

We've got plenty of time.

We're early.

We'll call the Tel Aviv Kosher Meats Deli and Liquor.

It's 10.30 here already.

Oh, wah, wah, wah.

She can wake her ass up.

I'll wake her up.

She has time for me, man.

She's going to sleep at you.

She has time for me.

And here comes the first prank call of the night.

Let me find a fucking song to play here.

Right.

Back after this.

Jeez.

That's probably one ring away from that working.

Mary Menzies calling you.

All right.

Mary Menzies is asking us to call.

And there's, oh, okay, you got Tom's home number.

Oh, that's funny.

Tom Green's home phone number.

Awesome.

What's the best one to call, Milkman?

Okay, I see here.

I got it.

Never mind.

Same number, same number.

Okay.

Hang on, folks.

We're going to try again.

Yeah, call Mary because it's too early for Tom.

All right.

Let's call old lady Mary.

Hello?

Hello, Mary?

Hello?

Mary?

Uh-huh.

Hey, it's Carlito.

How are you?

Okay.

I'm sick.

Mary?

Huh?

Are you there?

Yeah, man, a long-distance call.

Oh, with who?

A friend of mine.

Okay, okay.

How old is she?

What?

How old is she?

She's an elderly person.

Oh, how old?

No, no, no.

I can go old.

That's fine.

Oh.

All right, Mary, I'll call you back later.

Whatever.

Okay.

I need your help, but whatever.

Fine.

Bye, Mary.

Kill me, milkman.

Dun-dun-dun.

Oh, man.

I invite you to call back.

Yeah, she didn't even answer, though.

I don't know.

We'll see.

She didn't respond to that when I said it.

I wish I could find my harmonica, but I think my wife hid it.

You have a harmonica?

Yeah, I got a harmonica.

Yeah, that's cool.

When did you get it?

How long ago?

I got it in.

Oh, look at you, milkman.

You're a good guitar.

Yeah, we got two guitar players and a trumpet player here.

You know, we can start a band, man.

We got to get the band back together.

All right, I'll do something.

We'll do a track for the new CD or something.

Call it something.

Well, who's going to be playing the skin flute?

That'll be Athena.

I mean, we can bring Frank Mass in on it.

Yeah, Frank Mass.

K2K and Keith

and the bagpipes

I guess

yeah man

yeah

alright well

we're going to try again

I guess I'm going to call here

let's see

I'm going to call that 7-11

Sanford and Son

ok we can do that

then we'll call the 7-11

I'm going to call these people early

make sure they're going around

someone just confirmed

I sent in to you

right here in Google

ok

alright we'll call that next

I see that's coming

good deal

I got that

antiques. We're going to call the Sanford

and Son antiques first.

All right. Love this song.

Hey, may I speak with Sanford and

or Son, please?

May I ask in regards to?

In regards to the deal for the fleet.

Okay. Could you hold, please? Sure.

Social engineering.

Hi. Hi. How you doing? Is this Sanford?

Pardon me? Is this Sanford?

This is Sanford and Son. No, I need to speak

to either Sanford or his son.

There is no Sanford here.

Look, I only go through the boss, honey bunny, all right?

All right, can you please get the old man?

Listen, honey bunny, this is the boss.

What's your name?

No, what is your name?

Excuse me, I'm calling about the fleet.

You guys are past due on your payments for these antiques, ma'am.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

We're calling from the fleet center downtown.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Okay, well, you have a few articles of our antiques over there that you've been holding for a while.

Nope, I only buy my own.

Woman, woman, let me speak to Mr. Sanford, please.

There is only myself.

And who's the son?

There is no son.

You know, Fred and Lamont.

It's a joke.

Is the son like your lesbian lover?

You are a freak.

What's her name?

It's Faggot.

That was funny.

Oh, boy.

Yeah, she called me a faggot

The bear's at the honey now

She even said Fred and the moth

Hello?

Sorry, they start at 69, so I was trying to mess with them

Anyway, that was kind of funny, guys

Good deal, we need to call her back

Oh, okay, well don't forget to block it

No, no, I do block it, dude

It's fine, if she calls back, she calls back

Well, what's the problem over there? What's the cat doing?

Fucking cat

This cat over here, he loves jingling the front door

With his two paws

so it sounds like

someone's trying to

break into the house

at 3 o'clock in the morning

and it scares the shit

out of you

because we'll be sleeping

and all of a sudden

we hear like someone

trying to force open

the door

and I'll run out

and it's the cat

staring at the

the cat will be staring at it

and I caught him

doing it the other day

he likes jiggling it

on purpose

I think because

he gets attention for it

the fucking bastard

that cat

he's getting put

in the shower again

he was when you weren't here

when you were in class

you can put up

your video camera

and put it on

the night vision

and then film it

and then you'll

blast him

yes

Yes, yes, and then we'll show him the evidence.

I'm going to make a video clip of it and put it right there on the site.

Nunu says that he sent in a number here for Sonny Landham.

He was in the movie Predator and 48 Hours, also in a porn movie.

Who is that guy?

Great idea.

I have no idea who that is.

That's the Indian dude.

The Indian dude?

In Predator.

I didn't see Predator.

I don't think I've ever seen Predator.

That's with Arnold, I know, and Apollo Creed's in there, right?

Oh, that's a great movie.

I follow Creed and Arnold.

Hang on, I think we're getting a call from either Zolar and or Dr. Lego.

Jesus Christ, you're on the air.

Yeah, you know, I'm a little fucking sick of your shit.

You got a big fucking mouth, and you're rude, and you're vulgar to people,

and it's really just fucking insensitive, and I don't like it.

You're a fucking Jew, and we're even.

Happy Rosh Hashanah.

Rosh Hashanah to you.

What's up, man?

Happy New Year, bro.

How you doing?

How you doing, man?

I'm all right, man.

We're just trying to do our thing here.

How's everything with you, man?

Good show Monday, by the way.

Enjoyed it.

Oh, yeah, until I got fucking booted off by somebody.

I wonder who did that.

Um, I think, yeah, maybe the, yeah, because, I mean, you're right there.

You know if the stream took a shit, right?

And it didn't take a shit.

Well, the stream didn't take a shit, and I stayed connected to your stream.

So I would think, you know, somebody kicked me,

and as soon as I changed the password, didn't seem to have any problems.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, who had it out there?

Hunter doesn't have it anymore.

Nobody should have it.

I'm not going to point my finger at anybody, but, you know, I know Frank Matthews did a show the night before or something, and he had the password, and then, you know, he called up trying to, like, blame it on Zolar.

Really?

So, you know, look, I got nothing against that kid, you know, but I don't know.

It just was too bizarre.

I've never dropped a stream like that before.

No, that's bullshit.

He did it on purpose, dude.

That's all it is, you know.

Yeah, we were just trying to get Zolar.

He was the first person to say that it was Zolar in the chatroom when it happened, dude.

You know it was him.

You know he did it.

He's like,

Yeah, so, you know, whatever, dude.

I mean, you know what?

Stupid.

We're on to your game, Prankmaster.

I'll say it.

Fuck it, man.

I'll say it.

I don't hate the kid, but, you know, sometimes he's just crazy.

Anyway, whatever.

But, yeah, I had a good time doing the show.

And, you know, whatever, dude.

It is what it is.

Sometimes you get a good one.

You know, sometimes you don't.

Sometimes you don't.

I know.

You know, just, I, supposedly, you know, High Pitch Eric is coming to my house.

I have a gig Saturday night.

Right.

But I told him he could come to my house, and he wants to do a show from, like, 6 to 8 on Saturday night,

a special, like, early edition Prank the World show, and he's going to do it with Dale and Sales.

That's great, dude.

That sounds fun.

Yeah.

So you and Dale and Eric?

No, I'm out.

You're out.

I'm in it.

So just Eric and Dale and Sales, then?

Yep.

Okay.

All right.

So it should be interesting.

Saturday, 6 to 8?

Something like that.

He's going to start at 5 and go to 8 or start at 6 and go to 8.

Okay, we'll figure it out.

I'm sure.

Yeah, I'll let everyone know in the chat room.

Yeah, man.

If you find it, let me know and I'll spread the word Saturday to you.

I'll be here.

Yeah, awesome.

So how's everything else?

Anything I can do for you?

Yeah, you want to do a prank call?

That's what you can do for us.

You have any requests?

I've got a few things here.

Can you get me a McDonald's?

I'm going to look for a McDonald's.

McDonald's in Anchorage or Alaska.

We got a McDonald's in Alaska.

We'll call it right here.

All right, give me that one.

This one is in Anchorage, okay?

Okay.

And, yeah, we'll do that next.

Here comes Lego with a call.

Hang on, bitches.

Yeah, hey, how you doing?

Hello?

Yeah, hi, how are you?

My name is Jake.

I was in there a little while ago.

Are you there?

Are you listening to me?

Yeah, I can barely hear you, though.

All right, well, listen.

I was in there a little while ago, you know,

No, because the connection is probably all fucked up.

Listen, I was in there a little while ago, and I had a little bit of a problem.

Remember a couple of years ago you guys had that lawsuit because the lady spilled the hot coffee and burnt her leg?

Yeah.

All right.

Well, I had a similar kind of issue, only kind of like the opposite thing.

I ordered one of those frozen milkshakes you guys got, and I put it between my legs, and I'm driving away.

way, by the time I got home, my balls were frozen, now I gotta procreate, I can't procreate

tonight, he's fucking gone, what an asshole, he didn't last long, what's wrong with that

guy, he's like, huh, what, that was a good prank, I was going somewhere with that, it

was good, yeah, and he hung up, he's like, huh, it's just he can't, when somebody don't

play along, if they don't play along, you wanna try Burger King instead, I got one,

give me a Burger King, okay, hang on, dude, oh, we got one McDonald's, if you prefer,

we'll do a Burger King, hang on, this isn't, this isn't Fairbanks, hang on, they're getting

getting robbed. I guess so. They're getting robbed or some shit. What's going on with

these people? What's going on with the fucking world today? You can't get through to McDonald's.

Hang on. We'll try one more. I dropped my apple pie on the floor and I need to know

what to do. What's going on, Lego, as usual? He's checking out on me, dude. Yeah. I don't

know. We're taking a shit here, dude. Lego, any other announcements? Saturday show? Anything

else you want to promote out there? I would just like to announce that, hey, did you hear

my new song? Your new what? Song? My new song. Which one was it? Did you play it Monday?

I got cut off because I got knocked off the air, but I played it again.

It was the one about, you know, pranktheworld, pranktheworld.com.

Okay, yeah, I did that one.

And you also played the I'm Going to Legoland one, too, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, I played it at the beginning of every show now.

Yeah, it sounded good in stereo, by the way.

Thanks for going on there, dude.

I enjoyed that.

Hey, I meet you.

Thank you for, you know, hooking us up with that.

Whatever.

You know, whatever, man.

I'm going to let you get back to your shit and do your fucking thing because you're a funny motherfucker.

All right, brother, man.

Well, take care of yourself.

good luck in all your shit

and we'll hear you around

day

Dr. Lego

the nefarious

Dr. Lego

that's right

who is

who is this

sunny guy

I'm trying to remember

something

I know he's in

I don't remember

seeing him

what do I got to

go with here

he's in Predator

man

the first one

he's in the first

Predator

in the jungle

he's the Indian

okay

alright

I'm trying to find him

here in IMDB

right quick

actually yeah

Nunu sent me a link

he gets killed

somewhere early

Oh, he's one of the first people to get killed.

Huh.

Okay.

Well, we'll try that.

He's the one that I can remember.

Yeah.

Nunu, if you can get me George Takai's number right quick, I'd appreciate that so we can

call him also.

But we'll do another prank call, and we're going to call that Sonny fucking guy.

Sonny Landham.

Right.

Okay.

We'll be right back after this, folks.

Next prank call's coming up.

They look like a Roman sail.

Hello.

Sonny.

Hello.

Sonny, how are you doing?

I'm fine.

Sonny boy, how are you?

Hey, look, Mr. Landham.

Yes.

Is it Mr. Landham?

Is it Mr.?

Yes, Sonny Landham, yes.

Oh, hey.

Excellent.

Hey, sir, I'm a big fan of your material.

I hope I didn't catch you at a bad time.

No, I was just in bed recuperating from a heart attack, so.

Oh, really?

Did you get a bypass?

I have to have a triple bypass, yes.

A triple?

That's nothing.

I have a floor bypass, a quadruple bypass, man.

Myself, I'm in Hawaii right now.

I'm on the beach right now staying at my third house.

Oh.

Yeah, we worked together on 48 Hours, and I also bumped into you over at the Sluts movie.

On the what?

On the Sluts movie, the Sluts movie.

Yeah, my name is Jack Valente.

You don't remember me, sir?

Yes, I remember you, Jack.

How you been doing, brother?

Been doing fine, been doing fine.

What you doing in Hawaii?

Well, we're kind of shooting a pilot for a new TV show.

Right.

And we had a good idea.

There's going to be an alien who's going to be loose inside the rainforest here in Hawaii.

I don't know if you've ever heard of the Palua Rainforest.

It's the only rainforest in the United States, you know, over here.

That's where they filmed Jurassic Park, sir.

I'm familiar with that.

Okay, so I don't know if you remember the movie Jurassic Park,

but we actually have the actual buildings and all are out here still.

We're using that as a set.

And this alien's going to be loose, and we needed to kill someone in the first five minutes of the pilot,

and we're thinking about bringing you back for it.

I'm sorry, sir, what?

He who dies the most, me.

Yeah, exactly.

That's what I'm saying.

You're an icon, and you're well known for this.

Well, here, how are you thinking of doing this, Jay?

We might fly you out of here for about three weeks,

and it's probably going to be sometime right before Halloween.

Right before what?

Right before Halloween.

So probably the first Monday, but the last Monday of October,

we're looking at possibly flying you out for a good three weeks.

All right.

Well, now, I'll tell you what.

Do you have my e-mail?

No, what is that, sir?

It is Sonny, S-O-N-N-Y, Landon, L-A-N-D-H-A-M, at tell L.

All right, .net, I'll tell, okay, so Sonny Landon, L-A-N-D-O-N.

No, L-A-N-D-H-A-M.

Oh.

You know, it's spelled like Landon Ham, L-A-N-D-H-A-M.

Oh, you're not Michael Landon's brother.

Oh, we got the wrong guy.

I'm sorry, I thought you were Michael Landon's brother, Sonny Landon.

No, I was the one that did Predator 48 hours.

Predator 48 hours, we had the wrong guy.

Oh, okay, are you the guy, Apollo Creed, the guy from the Rocky movie?

No, I wasn't in Apollo Creed, that was Carl Weathers.

Carl Weathers, yeah, oh, okay.

Oh, I think we were one of either Carl Weathers or Sonny Landon.

I'm Sonny Landon.

Well, can you do me a, can you, you know, make it sound like you're dying real quick

Quick, and we'll see if we can go with you instead.

I mean, he's about to die.

No, no, but just go like...

That's right.

Yeah, I saw that.

It's all predator.

Hey, what did it sound like when you had your heart attack?

I passed out.

You didn't make any noise?

Not to my knowledge.

Did you say, like, I'm having chest pains or anything?

Well, you know, we are at 11.

No, it just hit me.

Oh, just...

Okay.

You know, we're at 11 o'clock back here, Jack.

Okay.

Mr. Valenti, please.

Please, Mr. Valenti.

Pardon?

Mr. Valenti, please.

Mr. Valenti.

All right.

We have a...

L-A-N-D-O-N.

Got it.

No, L-A-N-D-H-A-M.

L-A-N-D-H-A-M.

Okay.

And ham.

Oh, okay.

I got you.

All right.

That's at .com.

Okay.

And L-A-N-D...

Yeah, .net.

I got you.

Hey, let me ask you a question.

Why haven't you added They Are All Sluts to your website?

You haven't added the Sluts movie to your website?

The porno you did in the 70s, they're all sluts.

I say you do.

You're the president of the internet, sir.

I don't feel what I'm having.

I know.

We know we lost our brother and we don't want to lose you, too.

So you take care of yourself, okay?

God bless you.

All right, sir.

That guy's old and crazy.

Oh, my God.

You may want to add that to the CD.

I might want to, yeah.

He's old as shit.

A bunch of trash.

God, that guy's old as hell.

That was good.

I wish I remembered him.

And he's so funny, he would let us call him back.

He would, yeah.

I feel bad.

I shouldn't have made fun of the heart attack, you know.

But that was funny stuff.

You'll have to go rent it now.

No, I've got to watch Predators and that porno.

Oh, yeah.

Athena, make that so, okay?

Find that porno.

She's against porno, Athena.

She doesn't like me watching it.

48 sluts per hour.

Whatever it is, man.

So, that was fun.

Thank you, Nunu, for that.

Good idea.

Good work.

Did we get George Takai's number yet?

Yay!

Sir Nunu!

Yay!

Have we gotten George Takai's?

Yes, thank you.

Have you gotten George Takai's phone number yet, I wonder?

Let me check the, uh, no.

Please send in George Takai's number.

I'll get it.

I'll have to hit the old Madhouse Archives here for a second,

and I will find it in just a moment.

T-A-K-E-I, right?

We'll purge the number.

Here we go.

I have it right here.

Matter of fact, no, I don't.

You lied.

I thought I did.

Oh, no, he's given me the number before.

Liar.

I think I'm spelling it wrong.

Maybe that's what it is.

How do you spell Takai?

T-A-I-E.

That's, no, that's not right.

right? TAKEI. T-A-K-E-I. T-A-K-E-I. Well, I know he's given it to me before. I don't

know why it's not coming up now. Well, holy shit, that's something. Eh, whatever. Well,

Nunu, help me out, man. I know you have George Takei's number there. Takei, however you pronounce

it. I'll try one more other thing here. I'll try to figure that out. It had been on our

420 stuff. Was that when it was? Oh, I see. I think Nunu just spells it wrong. It's T-A-K-A-I.

That's how he spells it, I think. Okay, here we go. I got it. Way to slow up the show,

Yo, Nunu.

Yeah.

Oh, this is just fun.

Fucking Palmy.

Fucking Palmy bastard.

I got it here.

In L.A.

Hey, Sir Nunu's cool, man.

He's a friend of the madhouse.

He tries his best.

That's funny.

Yeah, he's sending it in too at the same time.

Don't give Nunu any shit, man.

All right, we're going to try to call George Takai.

I have an idea for him.

I was just fucking around.

Chill out.

Yeah, no, no, no, we're cool.

On the Howard Stern show two days ago that he ejaculated when he was holding on to another

man while he was riding a motorcycle when he was younger.

Like, just riding the bike, he had a big explosion in his pants, he says.

So, I'm going to offer him a job with Harley-Davidson as a consequence.

Let's see if he goes for it.

I don't know.

Let's see if he picks up.

I don't know.

He should be there by now.

He went left to go back home two days ago.

Damn it, are you guys there?

Are you listening to me?

I'm talking.

What?

Jesus, man.

Huh?

What?

Hey, who's that you said, son of a bitch?

Did you hear something, old man?

You guys are asses.

Let's try to call Dirk

Try hard

Mr. Decay?

Yes

Hi, Jack Valenti with Harley Davidson Incorporated

How are you doing, sir?

Just fine

Excellent, sir

I just want to let you know

We received a few emails regarding an appearance I guess you did

On some radio show where you spoke about an embarrassing incident

That you had on a motorcycle

And just curious to know if you're interested in probably

and possibly shooting a magazine ad

and possibly maybe a print ad in the newspaper

for Harley-Davidson regarding it.

Could you talk to my agent about that?

And what's her name?

Him.

And the agent?

Mr. Davidson has a strict rule about dealing with women.

Yeah, he doesn't...

Women in the agency.

The agent is Michael Greenwald,

but there is a Julia Buchwald if you ever work with a woman.

Okay.

It's just, you know, women are more intimidable, you know?

Intimidatable

Whatever it is

Yeah man

Whatever you say man

So talk to my agency

Okay

Hey man

You did a great show

On the show this week man

We love you

Well thank you

And you have very nice lips

Well thank you

Alright baby

I love you

Thank you

I love you

Bye bye

I love you

I love George Takei

He'll never

He'll never admit to my love ever

I never get to hate him

I love his fucking voice

He is

He's something

He poses a centerfold

Yeah

In Chopper's magazine

magazine as a joy boy poor george tk tk tk tk yeah i love you poor george tk all right we did

that what's next guys any ideas any bright ideas call back mary man call back mary right now time

to call back you think so last call for mary i don't want to bother her though no she's busy

11 it's not she's off the phone but now i think i want to i want to try this she ain't gonna be

be on there that long. I'm gonna try to call Sanford and Son. You'd be surprised. I'm gonna

call her back. Give her some more shit. What's the problem? Oh, okay. Who makes the decisions

here, sir? Hi, dude. Do you hear that alarm? Where's that alarm coming from outside? Sounds

like a prison breaker. Hello, Sanford and Son. Pardon me? Mr. Sanford? What? Mr. Sanford,

please. Totally. Oh, a pep's a confusion over there. It's a trick. Fucking Star Wars. It's

It's a trap.

Jesus, man.

Relax.

Just prank calling you.

Like, it's a trick.

Whose phone is this?

Fucking Mr. Sanford is a moron.

Mr. Sanford.

Okay.

Coming up next on Madhouse Radio will be prank calling.

You should have soundboarded those, fucker.

Yeah.

I got to keep calling George the guy.

That's funny.

But that fucking other guy was a trip, man.

That Indian guy or whatever.

Is he native?

Yeah.

Is he reservation Indian or 7-Eleven Indian?

Milkman. Oh, Milkman's muted.

I didn't even know Milkman was muted. Hey, Milkman, I'm

off mute now. Hello, hello. Oh,

Jesus, God, I'm sorry. I forgot to unmute you.

I'm sorry. Um, that guy

that we called earlier, Mr. Landum, Sonny Landum.

He's a reservation Indian.

He's a reservation Indian, Clone says.

Is that correct? Okay, Milkman's just not

going to talk now, I guess. Yeah, shit, you're

at the powwows. Powwows, okay.

Alright, I wonder if his chair care what.

Um, Thug Mansion Studio.

Well, that's awesome, dude.

Let's call Thug Mansion Studio, guys.

That's a plan.

Tick-tock, bitch!

I'm Izzy Bunny.

Been right along.

Yes.

You hear that?

That's going on outside.

Call Mary, and I'll get Tom's number.

It's the end of the world, as you know it.

Something's going on out there, and I'm not...

You got Mary's number still?

Mary Menzi's number?

Uh, yeah.

Yeah, I do.

I haven't gotten rid of it yet.

Hang on, let me get some music going here.

Um, do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do, okay.

I think you got rid of it.

but you might have to send it again because you kind of filled everything up here.

Oh, here we go.

Here we go.

Okay.

I got the number here.

We're going to call.

Let me call Mary Menzies first.

Okay.

And then after that, we'll call Tom Green.

All right.

Good deal?

Good deal.

Excellent.

Great.

Yay.

Yay, everybody.

They call in as Jack Masterson.

This time you got a web problem.

Introducing Carlito.

Well, I tried to, but she wouldn't listen.

It's a suicide problem.

I guess.

Yeah, I know.

She doesn't listen to me.

She doesn't pay attention.

Hello?

Hello, what's up?

Where's Larry?

Hello?

I can't hear you.

Where's Larry?

I'm on the phone.

Who is this man?

Are you Jamaican?

Sir, who did I call?

No, man, you're not here.

Who?

No, man, not here.

New news giving us the story of Sonny Landham in the chat room.

You should join PCRadio.com or MadHouseLive.com.

Rather, you should go there, either one of the two, and then join the chat room.

It's simple to do.

Damn it.

No excuse why you should not be in a chat room with the whole bunch of people.

bunch of people in there milkman how many people are in that chat room right now man man right now

we've got about 55 and we're already gone we don't want to 26 okay 26 thank you very much

the fastest counter here is clone homegrown all right clone you get a gold star good work man

yeah man yeah man call tom green real quick and we'll try mary menzies again for milkman

oh man i'm gonna miss milk and pot i have a bad feeling about it

message. What the hell? Send a message to another subscriber. Enter the area code and

phone number. I guess he's on the phone and he has a voicemail and the voicemail is full.

How many people listen to that crap show of his anyway, that bastard, stupid motherfucker?

Hell, I don't know, man. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Alright, Mary, you're

so contrary. Alright, guys, come on, knock it off. Enough of you two. We're going to

to call someone else. There's a skater on my

peter, knock it off.

Did I ever call the 7-Eleven? No, I didn't.

I'm going to call him next. Hang on.

Try that. There's a skater on my peter,

knock it off. Remember that guy was like,

uh, what? That was McDonald's,

I thought. There's a dozen of my cousins

can't you hear them bastards buzzing?

There's a skater on my

peter, knock it off.

Smoke weed every day.

Alright, hang on. We miss you, Cardino.

Hi, 7-Eleven, Casey speaking.

Gazizza, how you doing?

Hi.

Gazizza?

Who's this?

This is Gazizza, John Gazizza.

This is 7-Eleven, do you have the right number?

Yeah, I'm looking for my son, Mr. Gazizza, David Gazizza.

That's why I asked for Gazizza.

Gazizza?

Yeah.

Is that you?

What's your son's name?

David Gazizza.

David?

Is your name David?

Do we have any David in here?

Ask for the last name.

David Gazizza.

Oh, we don't have anybody by that name in here.

What the hell you say, woman?

Let me tell you something.

I'm not very happy the fact that you guys...

Do you guys have SitGoGas over there?

What is that?

Citgo gas, is that what you use, Citgo?

No.

What do you use, Royal Palm, Pineapple Brothers?

No.

What kind of gas do you have there? Is it Citgo? Don't lie to me, woman.

We don't have any gas here. We're just a convenience store.

What's the country of origin of your conveniences?

Oahu, Hilo, Hawaii.

Hilo? What kind of country is that? No, no, United States.

Yeah.

Please speak to your manager, please.

My manager is not here.

Is there a man that I can speak to there, please?

No.

Come on.

All women work in there?

Yes, all women work here.

That's what the problem is.

I said that's what the problem is.

Why?

Because when women are working, they don't ever do anything right.

You're not even selling gas because you're all women.

Excuse me?

I bet you.

if a man was in charge you guys would be selling

selling gasoline

and what is your name?

my name I told you is Michael Gazuzza

ok bye Michael Gazuzza

I love you

whatever

she's a little fireball that one

excuse me

she got all wound up man

watch out with her

she was ready to take a bite out of my ass

I'll tell you what

Don't try Mary now. Let's try Mary.

Oh God, fuckin' Mary. Alright, we'll try her one more time.

Don't tell me again to get this woman, because she's not cooperating anymore with us, apparently.

Pile the right number, dammit!

Whatever. Your fuckin' details.

Alright, alright.

Alright.

Hello.

Man, who is this, man?

The motherfucker.

Hey.

He's dialing this fuckin' number.

I don't understand what he's saying.

Guess what?

You don't call that a hot fuck, is this?

So guess what?

What are you doing with my woman?

Where's Mary, you bummer slut?

Hey, listen.

He's gone.

Well, I guess we're not going to talk to Mary Menzies anymore.

What the hell is that all about?

Jeez.

Who is that mad ass nigga?

Yeah, I'm saying, he's a fucking uppity nigga.

God damn it, boy.

I don't know how to get in.

Boy loves Brandon.

Okay.

Well, that didn't work out, apparently.

Who are we going to call next?

That was great, man.

That was funny.

I don't know what happened.

Thank you for a cuss-out list.

Every time I get Friendly Mary, this time she's probably just, you know,

getting a phone to her son or something.

That's funny.

We need to get Great Scott over there as well.

We got to do.

Great Scott would be hilarious calling her.

Lion Pump and Hump.

I have no idea what that is.

Lion Pump and Hump.

Huh.

We got the Dong Boo comic store.

Weird Wally's over here.

Carl, somebody sent me a message.

What?

They're asking me how to join the chat from your site.

Click on the

Go to the home page

You click on listen join

And in the center of the page it tells you right there

Just follow the flashing icon

It's a little box that says PCU chat

You click there and it takes you right there

Easy to do

Anybody can friggin do that

Or you can just go to

IRC.net

That's about as good as

Milkman does with it

That's about as good as Milkman does with it

Let's call Leprechaun liquor

Quiet! I command you to be quiet. We're gonna call Leprechaun Liquor.

Alright asshole, we're calling Leprechaun Liquor.

Ooh, he commanded you.

Yeah, you guys are out of control.

Hello?

Hello, liquor store?

Yes.

How are you sir? Inside or something?

What?

Where are you? Outside or inside?

What?

Where the fuck are you?

You are a fucker, motherfucker.

Hey, I asked you where you are, asshole. Come with me, man. Come on, talk to me.

Son of a bitch.

Fucking funny, man.

Whatever that's about.

Clone's really wasted right now.

It's really funny.

He's all combative and shit.

Four up.

Yep, yep, yep, yep.

He's bummed out because you're going to quit, man.

Yeah, man.

Man, that's fucked up.

Man, whatever.

You and Milkman can smoke another for me.

It's all good.

Maybe it won't smoke.

I guess I'm not...

I give my share back.

I give my share back to Clone.

I'm sure he's going to not be broke up about that.

There we go, man.

Clone, you're making out in the long run, man.

Come on.

Don't be a fool.

You're going to like it.

It's a good thing

I'll give you a silent treatment

I guess man

You guys are just all

Fucking standoffish

To me tonight

I don't know

We're about to end the show

Cause of your

The way you guys

Are acting

My sweet kisses

Ah whatever

That's not a man

That's not a woman

I mean

We're gonna call

Sanfordness and Plumbing now

This is a different place

This is the plumbing place

Actually hey

You know who

We could call

It's not

You know this

Helped me last week

I don't know if you

Caught that milkman

But

I forget

That was good

That was

Yeah, I uploaded a podcast today, and he is on there.

Favorite Arab, that would be Sam.

Sam the Donut Man at Dunkin' Donuts in Michigan.

We're going to give him a call next, and then we'll do the next call.

The other Sam for this time, we didn't call yet.

So, fucking right, yeah.

You heard it here first, everybody.

We'll be right back after this next week.

Yeah, Sam, please.

Hello?

Sam, please.

Sam here speaking.

Sam, Sam.

Sam is not here.

What do you mean he's not there? He's always there.

Speaking.

This is Sam's brother.

He's not here. He didn't work today.

Well, where can I... I'm supposed to call him.

Where can I call him at?

Well, I don't know.

Well, you know...

If you are his brother, you should know where he is now.

I just came back from the army.

Oh, you came... He don't have a brother in the army.

You are a big liar.

I'm not a big liar.

Okay, I don't have a time to you. I have a customer.

Fucking shit.

Stupid fucking woman.

Jesus Christ, talk like that.

I am not there.

Yeah.

If you are his brother, then you have his number.

Yeah.

I have to shit in this.

When I got on my head, I couldn't let that go from my feet.

I have to go make a donut now.

Fuck you and make donut.

Leave me alone now.

You do not call.

Hey, you sounded like Tarvash.

Yeah, do not call.

I shit in the hole.

Do not call.

Hang on.

Let me try to play that again.

I want to hear her say that.

Over here.

Oh, fuck you, Carlito.

Fatass.

Oh, hang on.

Hello.

Yes, hello.

Is this Carlito?

Yes, it is.

Who's this?

Sweet Kisses.

Oh, Sweet Kisses?

Are you really...

Don't I sound like a woman?

No, not really.

Well, I am.

Are you sure?

Yes, I'm...

Yeah, let's see.

I got one, two boobies.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Let me guess.

I don't want to be rude, but are you, like, older than 30?

Yes, I am.

Wow.

That sounds fun.

Oh, right, right.

Wow.

Yes.

Yeah, so you got a thing for my friend Milton?

I talked to him.

Yeah, you talked to him?

Yeah.

Yeah, you talked to him?

Oh, that's good.

You got his picture yet?

Yeah, I know what he looks like.

Oh, yeah?

That's good, good.

You send him your picture?

Yeah.

Well, what about us?

You're going to post your picture for us?

Everybody wants to see it in the chat room.

Everybody is saying that we want to see sweet kisses and what she looks like and everything.

Oh, really?

Yeah, I'm telling you.

Appleseed.

And you know, Appleseed, he's got a big thing for you, too.

No, he doesn't.

Oh, yes, he does.

He was telling me, he was asking me to get your phone number,

and I said, no, that's Milkman's, you know, that's Milkman's bureau.

Aren't they all gay?

Most of them.

Appleseed is.

Appleseed and Katie here both buy, and I'm taking already.

Hey, fuck you.

Claude's like, hey, fuck you, man.

I'm not really looking for it.

Oh, that's good.

Good for you.

Good for you, yeah.

I'm having fun.

I got my sound going on.

I got it going on Friday.

It was in the chat room Thursday, but I couldn't hear what was going on.

Uh-huh.

So I got my sound going Friday.

Okay.

So how did you find out of this whole PCU thing?

At Milkman.

Oh, Milkman.

Okay, so you know Milkman already then.

Yeah, I already know Milkman.

Oh, good.

Good deal, good deal.

Well, hey, are you enjoying yourself and the time you've been having here in our conjoined family?

Yeah, this week I'll be able to understand why half of this stuff is going on in the cat room.

Yeah, it's interesting.

It's a very funny thing, man.

We were like a, I don't mean to call you man, but you know what I mean.

So, hey.

He calls me man.

Yeah.

Well, hey, let me tell you what.

But if you break Milkman's heart...

Do what?

Don't break Milkman's heart, okay?

Why?

Because you had to deal with me.

Well, what are you going to do to me?

Well, you'll find out.

You don't want to find out.

Just, you know, don't break his heart.

But he's in the Virgin Islands, and I'm somewhere else.

I know, but just don't break his heart is all I've got to ask you, okay?

It's just too many rooms.

My wife was in Australia.

Clone just saying that his wife was in Australia, and he was in prison.

That's how they met.

Who?

Clone homegirl, you know?

Yeah.

Yeah, you know.

Alright lady

Well you want to say hi

To anybody

That was your time

If you want to plug

Your website

Or your DVD

That you're selling

Go ahead

Am I going to be on the air

Oh you're on the air now

Uh uh

You've been on the air

The whole time

Oh my god

Oh you didn't know

I'm good

Gotcha

Oh my god

So there you are now

You got to turn the sound down

Yeah I hear it now

Alright then

Alright well

You have yourself a great night

Thank you for calling in ma'am

Alright

Alright god bless you

That's a nice

That's a nice fire crack

For you milkman

man. All right, man. You ain't kidding me. Literally. That's what she said. Yeah, man.

So what are we doing now? Appleseed said that she's a hotter Estelle Getty. That's funny.

That was nice of him to say, huh? Hotter Estelle Getty. That's wrong. Shame on him.

Shame on him. We were in the middle of listening to this again. Hang on. Let me see if I could

Yeah, Sam, please. Okay. I guess we lost it. Oh, shit. Never mind. What? No, we had it

on Instant Replay.

Yeah, I lost it.

I had it ready to go

and it, uh...

Yeah, you know.

Yeah, we messed it up.

I messed it up, sorry, guys.

We'll have to catch it

on the, uh,

on the podcast.

I'm sorry, Milkman.

Sorry about that.

Sorry to let you down.

Cloned also.

That's all right.

Yeah.

Look at it in this turban.

I'm going to put it back

over my head.

It is...

It is a jerk-off.

Whatever you say, man.

Whatever you say, buddy.

Who are we calling next?

Uh, I was going to call

someone after that.

Well, who was it?

Do you remember?

I called Sam.

He wasn't there.

Who was the other guy we were going to call?

I forgot.

Samford and Son Plumbing.

Yes, that's right.

Thank you, Plumb.

Thank you very much.

Good looking out, dude.

Okay.

And that's a stoner memory.

I know.

That's what I'm saying.

How long have you been smoking?

How many years?

There's no reason to quit.

How many years would you say you've been smoking?

There's a number right here.

Samford TNT Talk.

Okay.

You do that.

I got it.

At least 13 years.

13?

Wow.

That's something, man.

I know.

Yeah, I've been smoking for about six.

Milkman, how long have you smoked for?

Like, a good 13 years, haven't you, Milkman?

When you were smoking?

I quit 13 years ago.

Yeah, but how long were you smoking for before that, though?

About 27.

Wow, dude.

That's something.

Well, see, I'm not that bad.

I can keep smoking for a while, I guess.

See, there's hope for you, man.

Yeah, there is.

You actually could regain your mind in past five seconds.

Huh?

What?

Whatever, man.

All right, we're calling the plumbing company.

Here I am.

God dang it, man.

That's just something.

Call that number I sent you right there in GD Talk.

In the GD Talk?

In the goddamn talk.

What are your goddamn talk?

You want me to call ADT Securities, seriously?

I hate to eat and run.

This is like one of those deals you can bitch about your account or report.

Support something if you want.

Hang on.

We've got breaking news from Clone.

Hang on.

Go ahead, Clone.

I'm going to bail.

I've got to get up at 4 a.m. and go make some money.

All right.

Well, good for you, man.

At least somebody here.

Someone's got to support this show.

Good deal, man.

Maybe I'll call in in a little bit.

If you get a chance.

If not, no pressure.

All right.

Thanks for being on, man.

Love you guys.

Thanks for being on there.

I love all of you in the chat room.

Except for a few.

Clone at home.

Yep.

Milkman, take care.

You rusty and crusty old fool

We love you

Carlito

Thank you

Keep it real

We will man

We'll catch you next week

Thanks sir

Alright

Lucky bastard

Ciao brother

Lucky bastard gets a job

Not shit

We gotta get jobs

Milk bag

Clone at home man

I know

Clone at home

We're gonna call

I don't know

Fuck him

We're gonna try to call Walmart

Whatever

We'll kill some time

Before the break here

Hi everybody

Yes indeed

Indeed.

I'm not going to miss coffee.

That's for one.

Yeah, Milkman, what's with this whole cookie thing, man?

What's the cookie exchange going on around PC that I'm not in on?

You got Jonathan making cookies, and you're getting cookies.

Well, yeah, it started a long time ago.

When Jonathan first started calling in, he was offering cookies.

He was going to send cookies to all the hosts, Katie Kay and us and everybody.

He didn't offer me cookies.

Yeah.

Yeah, he did.

I don't remember that.

Well, they were the sugar-free kind.

Oh, yes.

Speaking of Jonathan, I haven't even heard from him all night.

He might be working.

Remember last week he had to work?

He might be going.

Oh, that's right.

You know?

He does the overnight shit on the little short bus.

Yeah, he's been working a lot of overtime lately, dude.

That's probably what it is.

We got another caller here.

You got to call Cheese Boy.

You know he's in on it?

I'll explain that to you later.

Oh, he is.

Hang on.

I was waiting for Jonathan to call in about that, but hang on.

Hang on.

Let me get this first.

Hello.

What's up?

Who's this?

Panky.

Oh, great.

Great. Excellent.

How you doing?

What can we do for you?

I'll shut the door.

You suck a dick.

Tom, you suck a dick.

Who is this guy now? Tom, maybe?

Yes.

Okay.

What did he do?

Yep.

I understand who you're trying to tell me that he is.

I don't think I'm marbles.

Yeah, you do.

Enter.

Up your ass.

Up your ass, please.

That's how you get rid of him.

I'm sorry, Bookman.

I'm a piece of shit.

Yeah, I'm playing your mom's skin flute.

Okay.

No, sir.

It's out of here.

Okay, because it's not for me.

What now?

Is that really you?

Yeah.

Yeah, have a great night, sir.

All right, you too.

All right, bye.

When will he get a clue?

You fucking douchebag.

Jesus Christ, when will he get a fucking clue?

Dude, there's like something fucking noise.

That was his fucking hearing aid.

I don't know, I think it's...

He's setting like 19 or 20 on his hearing aid.

Yeah, they're interfering.

And you're squealing and shit.

Whenever he calls...

The fucking deaf is stupid.

That's some shit right there, dude.

Fucking skin flute.

Hey, Sweet Kisses says she plays the skin flute, Milkman.

There you go, man.

You got yourself a winner there.

You're going to go in for me later.

Yes, congratulations.

We got the Spread Eagle Inn here to call.

Ooh, look at that, Athena.

Spread Eagle Inn.

All right.

Gives me an idea.

Let's see here.

All right, we're going to give that a call right now.

Hang on, everybody.

The Spread Eagle Inn.

Sir, I have a question.

My friend Adam, we're trying to find him.

We were wondering if he could possibly see if he could find out if he checked in over there.

It's not a hotel, the bar.

Oh, it is?

Yeah.

Well, he said he was headed down there.

Yeah, we thought maybe he was going to spend the night.

Can you ask to see if he's there?

What's he look like?

Adam Erlander.

He's an overweight.

He's about 21 years old, but he looks like he's 18.

Curly hair, yellow teeth, weighs about 262 pounds.

He has a tattoo on his right back thigh and an appendix scar.

Nah, dude.

Nobody's here like that.

Well, can you just ask for Adam, please?

Adam Erlander.

There's no...

I know all the people here, dude.

It was a prank call.

It's really not funny.

Look, you son of a bitch.

I'm trying to find Adam.

All right, then go fucking find him, bro.

How about I go down there and push you?

You've seen this picture.

You've seen him on Dateline NBC.

Dateline NBC's own Prankmaster calling in earlier tonight for what I don't know.

Master what?

Master of what?

Jerking dicks off.

Master of shit.

No pranks.

Bullshit, man.

Yeah, Milkman, you said it, brother man.

Yeah, that's right.

I haven't heard no damn pranks.

He can master anything.

Maybe masturbate while he was listening to them.

His pranks suck.

Remember when we used to make him do prank calls and he was stupid?

Like, one time he said he was going to plant a bomb in a car?

Stupid ass, man.

Yeah, the funniest thing we ever did was a damn gangbang call.

That's the only funny thing that ever came out of Prankmasters.

Yeah, the only fucking funny thing that ever came out of Prankmasters

was that time that we got everybody in on a joke

where he thought we were, like, getting...

People were sending in bad numbers

and they were calling him and making fun of him or something.

What the hell?

You ought to play that, man.

You ought to play that on the break.

That's long as sin, man.

Man, you know, it's 7 minutes and 46 seconds long.

It's 8 minutes long, dude.

It's like 8 minutes long.

You can play that over the break.

They've laid out.

Fuck that.

You had the shirt.

Hang on.

Hello.

Hello, is Dingle residence?

Is this Dick Dingle?

Yeah.

What do you want?

I have a question for you.

What is your favorite potato chip?

What is this call about?

Why are you calling me this late at night?

We have created a new product called Dingle Chips, and it's a combination of...

Well, you got a speech impediment, boy?

Can you speak like you just molested a nine-year-old, you fucking child-molesting fucking idiot?

You just got fucking on, you fat bitch.

What do you have to say about that?

Why don't you take your fucking hearing aids out?

Classic, man.

This goes on for a good, like, five minutes.

Oh, speechless, huh?

I think it was somebody from the chat room.

It was obviously somebody who listened to T.T.A.

He's a fucking whore in there.

It was obviously someone who...

Milkman, who's this from?

I couldn't figure out what it was.

This right here says Parker.

Parker.

What the hell are you talking about, Parker?

Parker.

I had to make something up.

What's up?

Yes, has this been some prank?

Is Vincent you like me?

Hello?

Yes, I have a couple questions for you.

Do you like milk, sir?

Milk?

No, do you like milk?

No, but I'm a prank master like nine-year-old end girls that fuckin' put molest-

The hell?

...year-old?

This keeps going, wait until the dead gets in on it.

No, it's E.D.

Who is this?

E.D.

The dead.

DICK.

Dead, you motherfuckin'-

I like his pl-

Thanks a lot.

Hang up, Carlito.

Oh, Jesus.

Fuckin' Pete, though.

What's with the language?

Fuckin' the fuckin' head, too.

Carlito, hang up.

Alright, hang up.

Fuckin' Pete, the dick.

You fuckin', the dick.

go fuck yourself

go fucking nice

you hear me

tell him

bragmaster

I'm like

yeah

yeah bragmaster

you tell him

you fucking

retard

that's what

remember he had

that phase

where he

you remember

he had that

phase for a good

month where he'd

call in and

when people

started like

calling him out

on stuff he'd

just start hitting

the buttons on

the phone

like it was

like the ultimate

power

yeah yeah

like the ultimate

power. It was like, oh, I'm going to start hitting

buttons now to defend myself.

Fucker.

Yeah, just sit down.

I'm so fucked yourself,

motherfucker. I'm gonna

I'm motherfucking smarter

than your piece of shit.

Shut up. Shut up.

Shut the fuck up.

Yeah, anyway.

Yeah, so, uh, California

is checking in on AOL Instant Messenger,

dude. We haven't heard from them in a while.

Yeah, come on. Come and get me.

California says, what's bracket?

That's what he says, just like that.

What's bracket?

Yeah, he ain't called into the show for a long time, man.

Yeah, so, California, yeah.

Good man, it's good to hear from him.

He's a funny guy, funny guy.

Prankmaster says, Kodiko plays fucking innocent.

Yeah, that's great.

We're going to have to play that.

End of the show, we're going to play that, dude.

We definitely got to play that in its entirety, the Prankmaster gangbang.

Most definitely.

I tell you what, I have to, man.

I have the original I'm-Gonna-Kill-Myself call, man.

Oh, you do?

And the thing goes on like a half hour.

I've got that.

I've got when he admitted to KDK that he won't listen to the girl and all that.

We've got all that audio here.

The whole episode.

Yeah, we've got it here.

We've got the reasons for you to hate him, everybody.

So, yeah.

Anyway, enough of that.

We're going to take a break.

It's almost midnight.

It's almost Friday.

Congratulations.

Friday's here.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, baby.

Yeah!

Friday is here.

So, we're going to be right back after this.

it is now 11.59

almost midnight it's about to be Friday

the 29th of September

and give me about 5 minutes

and we'll be back for more shows so in the meantime

we leave you with this

feel free to call in after the break

toll free line is 888-278-8509

you're listening to Madhouse Radio

be sure to visit us online

at madhouselive.com

What's going on in the chat room, Milkman?

Uh, I think there's a bit of news.

Do I hear a jingle?

Coming up.

Suicide.

It could be coming up next.

Picture of ammonia and popcorn ready.

Mike Master has threatened to kill himself using deadly gas, everybody.

Breaking news.

Please stay tuned here for more information.

I love that.

This is such an awesome jingle.

dude. I love this thing. It's like...

That was great, man. It goes perfect with

anything, because you can be like, you know,

Prankmaster, commit suicide.

Again.

For the thousandth time.

Yeah.

KDK appears on the Howard Stern show.

That's, you know, it's...

Yeah.

That's awesome. Anyway, man.

Now he's using different names and

music, man. Is it really?

Yeah, it's coming in the crazy.

Okay, anyway, the podcast

Podcast listeners are not paying attention to it, so who cares?

who we calling next dude we got a lonesome loser is checked in

with um bangkok west pie hole pizzeria augie doggies aziz convenience store oh yeah look at

that aziz convenience store very good very good milkman i need you to do me a favor and the call

is going out there i need a uh i need a suicide hotline um that is not a toll-free number i need

I need a 24-hour suicide hotline that is not a toll-free number.

Please, if you can do that for me, I would greatly appreciate it.

And I also, if possible, if anybody can find me a toy store in Hawaii or Alaska or California that's open right now,

a toy store, a Toys R Us or maybe a small KB toy store, I don't know.

I have an idea for that, and that's all I have for now.

That's all I have for now.

I have ideas for pranks.

So the call's out there, please

If you're out there and you're listening

Answer it

Heed the call

Please do

It's very important

Breaking news

Yes

Okay

You heard it first right here on the mat

That's right

Okay, we need a

We need a convenience store

Yeah

I'm excited about this one, everybody

The bodega

Hey, man

I want a nickel

One more

Come on, come on, come on, come on

I'm feeling lucky

Feeling lucky, feeling lucky

Come on, one more

I'm going to change my neck

Maybe nobody will realize

I'm such a deaf idiot

One more, one more ring.

Come on, one more.

Yes, man.

Milkman, how's the weather over there in the Virgin fucking Islands?

And it's wonderful.

It was a nice, pleasant 88 degrees today.

We had a steady 10-mile-an-hour breeze.

Yeah.

Humidity was practically zero.

Wow.

Very sunny.

It was nice.

Good.

I even got a tan on my arm.

Well, that's something right there, dude.

That's awesome.

Hell bell.

I'm going to go back to the beach, Carlito.

Yeah.

You come down here, man.

We're going to go to the beach.

I'm going to take you over to one of my favorite beaches, you and Athena.

We're going to go snorkeling, or I'll do it, and I'll catch a live Caribbean lobster.

Oh, yes.

And sweet kisses, too.

And then I'll bring it in and grill it right there on my portable grill right on the beach, man.

You got a hibachi?

Oh, man, I got one of those Q grills, man.

Oh, yeah.

It's just bad.

Dude.

That thing cooks like a bastard.

Yeah, dude, we're getting ready to buy a treadmill here, man.

Isn't that exciting?

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

I don't know where that came from, but we're getting ready to...

Athena's getting a treadmill as a gift from her parents.

Girl.

Yeah, so we were looking at treadmills and stuff.

Oh, I'd like to have one of those.

Treadmills are fucking expensive.

I can't run, but I...

Treadmills are expensive for what they do.

Oh, my God, dude, a good one's like 600 bucks.

No, dude, the cheapest one that we saw at Sears, 800 bucks.

I want to say it was either 699 or 799, and it was a piece of shit.

I mean, honestly, it wasn't that nice compared to the other ones.

You got to pay $900 or higher, man, for a decent one.

You're going to believe this.

I found an email suicide hotline.

An email?

You already can give it up.

Oh, man.

That's something.

I'm going to kill myself.

Here's my email.

Email me.

We've got to spread that around to Prankmaster.

Email me, please.

That's fucking sad.

Prankmaster is so into this that he does what he does.

Anyway, the next call is coming, everybody.

Whoop-dee-doo.

We have a toy store, and I have an idea for a prank call.

Oh, so, oh, not that again.

Anyway.

Yeah.

Here we go.

Shut up, fucking phone.

All right, we got to back up.

Watch here, man.

I got what you asked for, man, coming right now, man.

Look over here in your G-Talk.

Okay, Andy's bringing up a point.

I should call his fat guy voice, you know, that John Master's in?

Yeah, exactly.

No, call an exercise store.

Make your hearing aid school or something, too.

Tell them that you're hard of hearing and, you know, that you're like 90% deaf

and they're about 100% stupid.

Okay, okay, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.

Okay, now look.

Okay, excuse me.

All right, let me set that up.

This prank call is going to be to Suicide Hotline.

God help me.

Block your number.

Oh, yeah, I will.

I will, I think.

I hope I do.

Return number.

Yeah, man.

Hang on.

Suicide Intervention.

Yes, hi.

My name is John Erlander,

and my son is, he's just rather upset.

We got into an argument tonight, and I just want to make sure he's threatened in the past to smell gas.

And I was wondering if you could maybe talk to him just to make sure that everything's okay.

I mean, I will do it when I weigh, what, 482 pounds, and it's hard for me to get to the room next door.

The thing is, our CA for the night, she's actually on another line right now.

Can she give back maybe like in about five minutes, maybe longer than that?

Tell him it's an emergency to hold you down.

Can I just at least get him on the line so I can at least get him talking and we can wait or something?

Well, the thing is, she's on her line, so there's no way for me to get through to her,

but I can page someone else and call you back.

Can you talk to her?

Can I talk to him?

Yeah.

No, I'm sorry.

I'm not a clinical associate.

This is an outside service for the company.

Oh, man.

I'm not certified to speak with anyone.

What do we do?

I don't know, hon.

I mean, as of right now, that's pretty much the only choice I have.

He's got gas.

I know.

I told him, man.

He's been breaking a lot of wind lately, and I told him he's got gas, and he takes it wrong, and he slams the door.

I told him to go to the bathroom, and he just slammed the door on my face, you know?

I said, man, that stinks.

You stink, man.

I know where we want to go, then.

Fine.

Help us.

Yeah.

Jesus, I'm not even just like, yeah.

Yeah.

Whatever.

I want a piece of dog doo-doo.

We can call back in a little bit.

I guess.

Maybe we could try.

Solar says I should try getting out and walking on the free street.

That's what I say.

But no one listens to me around here.

I want to ride my bike on a treadmill.

Put on black and lay your fat ass right out in the middle of the railroad tracks.

Yep, yep, yep.

Who do we call?

Is Prankmaster in the chat room still?

Under an assumed name or something?

Oh, he's in there under a different name now.

He ain't got the balls to use that crappy-ass name he has.

I guess.

He can if he wants, dude.

Whatever.

Don't be a bitch.

Anyway.

Yeah, I don't know.

I didn't kick him out or nothing.

All right.

If he's stupid enough to stay in there, because everybody likes him, you know.

Yeah, all right.

We'll call the KB Toy Store in Hawaii.

Zolar, if you get a chance, call in, man.

The toll-free line is 1-888-278-8509.

Again, that's 1-888-278-8509.

and we will

yeah yeah

Zola if you get a chance

call in

if you can't

that's cool

whatever man

God I love Zola

you haven't called in a while

you haven't called in a long time

it's the dead

he's kind of crazy though

yeah

hey I've got another one here

calling KB

20% off Dora

hey

this is the KB

toy store

yes it is

ma'am

who's in charge

of your Barbie doll aisle

the Barbie doll aisle

yes

who's in charge of it

yes

um

there's two of us

working tonight

so we're kind of

Well, can you get me someone who might have been there tonight, please?

Okay, I've been in this aisle.

We've both been.

Can I help you?

Okay, well, let me ask you a question here.

I went in there, and I really don't appreciate the fact that one of your employees there on the other aisle

made fun of me when I was talking to my wife and my son.

Okay, that was to about what time today?

Roughly, I would say about two hours ago.

Two hours ago.

Maybe longer.

I don't know.

I was so upset after it that I went outside, and I hyperventilated,

and I damn near didn't make it back to the car.

I threw up all over myself and my clothes.

I was so affected by this.

Okay, I'm very sorry about that.

I'm not too sure who that would be around that time.

Well, you know what happened?

I was there right by the Barbie dolls, and my son was looking at the Barbie dolls,

and I said, damn, look at this one here.

and we took the Barbie out and we pulled down her skirt and panties on the Barbie doll

and one of the employees over on the other side started laughing at me in front of my son

and my wife yelled at me right there and then my son started laughing at me

and I really don't appreciate it.

And you know what, I think I'm going to bring you guys up on the lawsuit.

Okay, the store manager will be in tomorrow.

Do you want to contact her regarding this?

Well, let me ask you, what's your name?

This is Donna.

Donna.

Is that with an E?

What was that?

Is that with an E?

No E in Donna.

Okay, whatever.

What's your social security number so I can write your number down here, please?

Sorry, I'm not allowed to give that information.

You don't even have one, I bet.

Is there a man who's working there?

Not tonight.

Is there ever a man who works there?

Yes, we do have two guys working there.

You know, that's probably what the problem is, is that it's just women working there.

Okay, like I said, that store manager will be in tomorrow morning.

You can call and...

Well, do you have a lawyer, someone who represents you?

You can talk to the store manager tomorrow.

Well, you're answering the phones because you're in charge.

So you're the first point of contact.

Well, everybody does answer the phone.

Donna.

Well, you know what?

It's your night.

So we can settle right now.

You know, just me and you.

Just, you know, we can settle.

We can settle.

Don't let me have to, you know, I'm going to have to take KB Toy Store as a court.

I threw up in my clothes and everything.

Hold on.

Hello, what's the problem?

I don't understand.

That woman on the phone right there, I just asked if he had any Barbies in stock.

and she just went off on this tangent.

I have no idea what she's talking about.

Would you please help me?

What Barbies are you looking for?

We're looking for the special edition December 2003 Barbie,

and we called over there, and she's going off on this wild tangent

about coming in, that someone made fun of her,

that some guy went outside that wanted to sue.

I don't know what she's talking about.

What do you mean?

I was talking to some lady right now on the phone,

and I asked her the question, and she went off on some tangent.

I have no idea what she's talking about.

So you're just looking for a 2006 Barbie?

That's right, the 2006 Holiday Barbie.

What is the big deal?

It's $49.99.

Oh, you have them already?

Yeah, we have.

It says 2006, but it's not 2007.

Do you hold them or not?

It's the only one we have.

Well, that's what I said in the first place.

And what's the big deal?

You know, ma'am, I'm not happy about this.

I'm thinking I'm going to bring you guys up on charges.

For what?

For suing, for suits.

You know, wasting my time.

This woman made me feel bad on the phone.

I don't know what the problem is.

I don't know.

Have you taken any classes in business science?

No, we don't take business classes.

I'm a business scientist.

Uh-huh.

Okay, do you know what that means?

I have no idea.

Do you know what kind of car I drive?

I don't really care what kind of car you drive.

I drive a Dodge Stealth.

Well, um, I don't know.

What kind of car do you drive?

You're just looking for a Barbie, right?

Well, yeah, what kind of car do you drive, though?

Damn it.

I drive a Barbie car.

I don't know where I was going with that.

I hit the jackpot.

Look in your G-Talk.

Just pick where.

Oh, man, that's a lot of them.

Yeah, we got a lot to go with.

Hang on, let me burn some of the numbers here.

We'll see if we do that.

What's going on in the chat room?

What's this now?

We got a saga going on here.

Is that what it is?

Honestly, I mean, do we have to degrade ourselves to this?

Hang on.

I love Deadly Gas.

What's up?

I don't know.

It's Dedede and What's-His-Face going back and forth, right?

And Breakmaster or something like that?

It looks like, yeah, he must be messaging him.

Yeah, I guess.

Whatever.

45 Irlanders in the USA.

Oh, my God.

What will we do?

Ooh, Middle East bakeries.

All right.

An Arab woman answered at 1220 a.m.

That was about six minutes ago, people.

That's awesome, dude.

Let's do it.

Yeah.

Let's ask them if they have any hummus icing for their donuts.

Yeah.

Oh, this is in Australia, dude.

We got enough minutes on our card?

We're going to use Lonesome's card for this one.

Thank you, Lonesome.

What did you say now, Milkman?

So that guy, that would sound just like Zohar's audio.

It used to sound like it all the way.

Yeah.

Hello, Middle East Bakery.

Hey, ma'am, how is it?

Good?

Is, is, has, uh, halal meat?

Sorry?

Is, is, has halal?

Is it halal?

What is it?

Your, your food, is it halal?

Yes.

Okay.

Which one do you want?

Like, what, what you looking for?

Is, is, have the baklava?

Yes.

What does make you think I do this?

You know? Do you like it?

Hello? Ma'am?

Yes?

May I speak to a man, please?

Yeah? Can I know who's speaking?

I only speak to man.

Okay, can I know who's speaking, please?

Arthur.

Sorry?

Arthur.

Arthur?

Yes.

Okay, just one second.

Hedy, Hedy.

Why is it that woman answering phone?

Why is woman answering phone, man answering phone?

Who are you? It's not your business anyway.

Look, I'm calling to make order and you have this woman answering the phone.

It's not your fucking business.

Tell me what you want.

I don't speak to women on the phone.

I only speak to men.

Okay, it's your bad luck.

It's your problem.

It's not mine.

What are you after?

Take my order, you Mr. Man.

I don't want your order.

Shove it up.

You should have asked her if she was wearing a veil.

She didn't sound like she was wearing a veil.

I don't know what the hell that was.

That's funny.

It does not matter.

That was like an Australian and Arab, like, fucking hybrid accent, I think, right?

Was it?

Did you hear the twang of both?

Yeah, that was great, man.

That's an interesting example of linguistics.

I need to replay real quick.

That's the word?

Yes.

Okay, just one second.

Hetty, hetty.

This is funny.

This guy's funny.

Hetty.

Hetty, hetty.

I'll have to call him back.

I might do that, man.

Sir, why is it that woman answering phone?

Who's this?

Why is woman answering phone, man answered phone?

Who are you? It's not your business anyway.

Look, I'm calling to make order and you have this woman answering the phone.

It's not your fucking business. Tell me what you want.

I don't speak to women on the phone. I only speak to man.

Okay, it's your bad luck. It's your problem. It's not mine. What are you after?

Take my order, you mister man.

I don't want your order.

Shove it up.

Okay.

And switch to Arabic and come right back.

That was good, man.

Yeah, that was interesting.

Prankmaster has stated the only fuckhead who he will talk to right now is Zolar.

Zolar, call in.

Call in, Zolar.

Zolar should call in, and then we'll call Prank.

Yeah.

Yeah, we'll call Pranky Prank.

I hear retard.

Yeah.

Milkman, hold off on those.

You're making the stream skipper.

Call in, Zolar.

Hold off on those real quick, Milkman.

I have enough of them.

You make the stream skipper every time you send one, because I'm having trouble with

my computer.

Oh, okay.

I've got plenty.

I've got plenty, dude.

It's cool.

Ooh, we got Poopies Puzzle.

So we also have a dinner theater by the name of Dracula's in Australia.

Dracula's Dinner Theater.

We'll call that right after this.

Yeah, like I said, Zola, call in, please.

I need to talk to you, but yeah, we'll be right back after this.

Good afternoon, Dracula's.

Norman, this is Tom speaking.

Hello, Dracula's?

That's right.

What can I do for you?

I was wondering if I could make reservations, please.

When would you like to book tickets for?

When are you opening it, honey?

When is the next show?

Okay, the next show I could get you tickets for would be Tuesday or Wednesday of next week.

Tuesday or Wednesday of next week?

Are you guys that popular?

We are.

Oh, man, but we're going to be gone by then.

What a shame.

We're from the States, man.

I can't really conjure up seats out of nowhere, but I would if I could.

Can you squeeze me in?

We'll sit on the stairs or something.

How many of you are there?

Two, just me and my son.

So just the two?

And what night were you looking at, tonight or tomorrow night?

You got something tonight?

I'll come and I'll give you...

I have, you know what, I have U.S. dollars.

Well, that's very tempting.

But, look, all I could do for you at this stage would be to put your name down on a waiting list for tonight.

If by some weird twist of fate something did become available, we'd give you a call.

But that's probably the best I can offer you.

But I don't think you understand.

I have U.S. dollars.

I could have U.S. dollars if I went down to the bank and exchanged my money for them.

So, you know, tempting.

But they charge you a fee.

I didn't give it to you for free.

Did you want me to put you on the waiting list?

I'll sign them John American.

Well, do something, come on.

This looks, you know, over completely.

However, I don't think that we have enough seats to accommodate you.

What we could do, though, is the waiting list option.

So what do you reckon?

What did I got to do to get a little piece of that pie?

Have you got any, like, a cell phone number or something I could take down?

Yes, are you ready?

It's a toll-free number.

Okay.

No, you can't call it, man.

I can't let you call my number.

What would my wife would say?

Okay, well, you don't want to go on the waiting list

and won't give me your phone number to call you.

Well, let me ask you a question.

Listen, how is it possible that some guy dressed up like Dracula with a cape and fake blood on is so damn popular?

How big is your place?

It holds about 300 and something people.

Look, I've got another call coming through.

Did you want me to put you on the waiting list, or did you want to leave it for this time?

Can I speak to someone else over there?

There's no one else available at the moment.

What would you like to say to them?

Just, I'll hold for someone else, yeah.

Musical instruments.

Okay.

She's very accommodating.

Yeah, not really.

Really? I'm not gonna hold her.

Thank you for holding the line. One of our operators will be with you shortly.

That sounded funny. Thank you for holding the line.

She doesn't understand, man. American dollars, you know?

The way we grew up in America, we're led to believe that anywhere you go,

as long as you have U.S. dollars, you can get anything you want,

any country you go to, for some freaking ass reason.

That it just fucking comes to you.

Hey, man. You're on the air. What's up, brother?

Hey, Carlito.

How you doing?

Let me turn this back.

Alright.

All right.

Still not able to listen to your radio show.

Oh, shit.

Computer's still fucked up, huh?

Yeah.

My friend and I reformatted the disc a few days ago,

and then it was up and running,

and then I tried to go to my email,

and it has to get on me.

Oh, man.

You sound like you're not doing too well.

Did you just come in from doing some laps or something, man?

Well, I...

Laps in my head.

Oh, you're upset about the computer, or you just...

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it's like my life flying to the world.

Man, well, I just go, you know.

I don't have a life, man, except for surfing the Internet.

Yeah, what else is there to do?

That's like the extent of what my life is at this point.

I'm totally, like, addicted of my computer.

I'd rather hang out with my computer than people.

Yeah, why don't you get yourself a new computer, man?

Go treat yourself to a new Dell.

Dude, I bought this computer new a year ago from Florida.

Oh, that's like brawling right there.

You ever heard of Tiger Direct?

Yes, I have.

Yeah, I bought it from them, man, and it crapped out on me like about nine days after the warranty expired.

Oh, son of a bitch, end up like it is, you know?

It's probably some kind of switch.

I'll tell you what.

Well, actually, actually, it's totally my fault.

That's why I'm the dumb fucker from California, man, because if my computer was running great,

I was getting instantaneous downloads, and then I tried to make it even better, right?

I tried to soup it up even more, and I deleted a main startup program,

and that's when all the troubles began, and, like, it's my own fault.

Well, how's everything going with you?

I'm sorry to hear about your computer.

Everything's fine, man.

I was wondering if you wouldn't mind talking to my friend Adam, maybe just talking to him.

He's being a little out of line.

Yeah, I'll talk to anybody, man.

I was hoping you'd put Bush on the line.

I'd like to straighten his ass out.

Well, this guy's almost as bad as Bush.

All right, that's cool.

Let it rip on him, okay?

His name's Adam, and, yeah, we're going to do this next, everybody.

Crazy fucker's going to tell it how it is.

Let's see if Adam picks up the phone.

If you're a man, if you're a man enough, you will answer the phone, sir.

Ain't that right, crazy fucker?

Well, an Adam is a really small unit, you know?

It's like this.

It's actually a theoretical reality.

It's a theoretical reality.

It's not actually.

It's just a name they've given to a great mystery.

All right.

Adam.

Right on, man.

All right.

Hang on, dude.

I hope he's not an Adam bomb.

I hope not, man.

Take the diapers from under your nose.

He's a child molester, though.

I'll tell you what.

Oh, yeah.

Well, he would don't want to go to the joint then.

You would let him know.

Hang on.

Well, that didn't work.

Whatever, dude.

Hey, Carlito.

Yeah, go ahead, man.

Are you still there, man?

Yeah, we're here, dude.

There in sunny Florida?

Yeah.

You ever watch the Survivor game?

Yeah, I saw it tonight before the show.

Yeah, well, actually on the West Coast here, it comes on at 8 o'clock,

so your show is like about an hour into it when it comes on here.

Okay, you saw it today?

You know what?

When I was in prison, I got addicted to watching the Survivor show,

and it really helped me.

And now I'm watching this new one

and in the first two episodes

it was all individual ethnic groups,

four different ethnic groups

competing with one another

and now they ruined it tonight

by merging them into two tribes.

That was a bunch of shit, man.

It was going to be so controversial.

I was into it.

I pulled my support of the Hispanic tribe.

Did I tell you that story?

No, you didn't.

I didn't hear why you were rooting

for the hispanic tribe well i'm hispanic so it was natural this is running for the hispanic tribe and

they got rid of billy last week and i was like you know what that's up and i pulled my

support and i decided to support the asian tribe i think those two koreans are going to win it man

uh what which one cowboy and the uh other one you know cowboy he's a vietnamese no he talks

the he's a little skinny dude that talks all this he's kind of cool and yeah yeah

Oh, yeah, he's got a Zen philosophy about him.

Yeah, yeah.

But, yeah.

The homeboy that hates him, the Korean guy and the other girl who are always, you know,

always together and shit, those two.

The dude that found me a beauty idol on Exile Island.

Yeah, and the chick that got all the votes tonight, the one that got voted for

but didn't get kicked out, those two right there.

I think those two are going to pull it off in the end, I think.

Yeah, well, they're definitely, man, that dude that found that Asian guy that found the immunity idol on Exile Island, man, you know, he's a very intelligent person.

Yeah, but, you know, it had to be an Asian, you know, not even stereotypical.

The Asian goes there, and he's all like, I'm going to do it like this, and he's, like, figuring and doing math.

Yeah, yeah, that was cool, the way he done that.

Yeah, if that's not a statement for the way of this country right now, I don't know what is,

where the Asian guy ended up being the most resourceful one, you know,

that's just how it is in, like, modern days here in, you know, in the United States and colleges,

they're full of Asians, you know, the teachers are all Asians, and all the, a lot of Asians are smart,

all the engineering jobs are in now, and you know what, one of the hardest,

I think one of the hardest professions out there, you know, the CSI stuff,

stuff, you know, forensic science, you know, all the good forensic scientists are Asians, man.

You know, all the major forensic scientists and the pioneers in it are all Asians, man.

Those people are super smart.

Yeah, well, look what they did, man.

They took over the automobile industry and by taking a, basically they took a six-cylinder American car

and broke it down into four cylinders.

Yep, and there it is.

Yeah, they're pretty slick people, but I was hoping that on the Survivor game that all them races would battle all to, there was like one member of each race left, and then they would form like two two-person tribes, and then finally break it down.

I'd like to see which race would have survived the longest.

Yeah, man, and the white race is getting ready to tear itself apart out of all of them.

But, yeah, well, hey, man, I'm going to end the show now, but it's good to hear from you.

Dude, I hope your computer gets fixed.

I'm going to be reformatting my PC tomorrow.

Well, you know what?

A couple months ago, man, I bought an old Apple computer,

and I'm going to try to get it online until I can get my good one fixed here.

I bought a, it's a really old Apple, but it's like, I think I might get it online because it's getting the signal and all that.

But it's like, I'll tell you what, that's how pitiful my life, you know what, I don't know, man.

I'm torn maybe to go live out in the woods in a cave because I actually, when my computer broke down, it was absolutely traumatic to me.

It was like not being able to get on the Internet is like showing me just how big of a freak I've become.

It's like, don't ever go to prison, dude.

They'll break your ass down in prison and turn you into a robot.

Did you ever do any time in solitary confinement, man?

No, no, you know, I went, I did a whole seven-year stretch without getting in any kind of altercations with any inmates or any guards.

Okay, that's good.

I didn't get one write-up.

I didn't get any write-ups, and I managed to be able to, well, like, get along with everybody in the place, you know, even, you know.

So, even, you know, I came close a few times to going to solitary confinement,

but somehow I always, at the last moment, was able to bullshit my way out of it.

That's good.

I'll tell you what, you know what, I'll tell you this.

Let me say one last thing, man.

You know what, there is literally hundreds of thousands of good people in prison

that are just right away admitting because they said he won't forgive them.

And there's a lot of dudes who committed crimes when they were young men

and have been sitting in prison now for over 20, 25, 30 years.

And I really do think that they should be given a second chance.

I think that convicted murderers, their first-time offenses,

I'm not talking about serial killers.

I'm not talking about psychopathic killers.

I'm talking about people that fucked up and made mistakes.

guys that they're lifers in prison that have earned college degrees man and uh run inmate

counseling groups and help people and are totally rehabilitated people and they won't the the

fucking motherfuckers won't let them out of prison because they they make too much money off

is the slave labor camp yeah meanwhile these fucking war profiteers these fucking sons of

bitches that are perpetrating warfare for corporation profits they're the ones boy

they're the girls of the society well yeah that's that's all right man it's time for people

to organize man and demand that they fucking start emptying out the prisons and i'm talking

about, man, I know dudes in there that are holy men.

Holy men?

Yeah, guys, you know, I had a date to get out, and I'd bitch and snivel and moan, and

I mean, I was in there with dudes that were lifers, doing life sentences, and they had

a better attitude about life and the world in general than I do.

That's something, though.

Well, anyway, Carlito, I'm glad to touch bases with you, bro.

It's always a pleasure, man.

man. Keep in touch and get online soon, man. Huh? Yeah. Get what now? Keep in touch and

get back on the internet soon. Yeah. I'm going to either that or I'm going to fucking go

out in the woods as far as I can get and find a cave and seal myself up and meditate my

way into a higher consciousness in reality where I actually become the computer. Good.

And that might do it.

It might.

You know, transcendental meditation.

It's better to have rest and meditation than stress and medication, right?

Right.

All right, bro.

All right, my friend.

Take care.

Peace and love and joy to all living creatures on the planet Earth.

Earth and elsewhere, everywhere.

Earth and elsewhere.

You got it, buddy.

All right.

All right, bro.

Bye.

And he just talks some kooky stuff sometimes.

I love that guy.

I don't know if it's an act.

He is the best caller.

Yeah, he is.

He is.

He has the greatest observations.

He has the seriously accurate insight.

It's good to kind of check in with him every once in a while.

And on that note, dude, we're going to have to end, dude.

It's getting late, man.

It is getting late.

I don't know.

It's almost 1250.

It is 1251.

I'm saying it's almost 1 o'clock.

I don't know.

Hey, I sent you a heap of numbers there.

You want to do one final goodbye before we never hear from you again?

I rethought the sous, I think.

Maybe I think that's some poor taste.

Let's not do that.

Thank you, Milkman, though.

I appreciate it.

But, hey, we got a gas station here in San Francisco, a Chevron.

Good try to call them.

Let's try to call them.

Cool.

All right, we'll do one more prank call, all right?

It's not that bad.

Call up as a homosexual, though.

As a homosexual?

No, that's okay.

You do that.

I guess I'm dead.

Good evening, John.

Hello, Chevron.

Yes.

This is the Chevron?

Yes.

With gasoline, right?

Yes.

Okay.

From what country origin is your gasoline?

Hello, I can hear you.

Hello?

What is the country of origin of your gasoline?

Hold on, I can hear you.

Hold on.

Oh, bullshit.

Hello?

Bullshit.

Hello?

Hey, don't say bullshit, okay?

I'm sorry.

What can I do?

I can hear you.

How can I answer your question?

Don't yell at me.

Please.

What is country of origin of your gasoline?

Oh, shit.

Shit.

That's it.

That didn't make her happy.

That's funny.

That's some funny shit right there.

That was good, man.

Hey, don't bullshit me.

Can we catch that on replay, Milkman?

Try to get that on replay, man.

Oh, my God.

That's...

All right, here we go.

It's Louie.

Hello, Chevron.

Yes.

This is a Chevron?

Yeah.

With gasoline, right?

Yeah.

Okay.

From what country origin is your gasoline?

Hello, I can hear you. Hello?

What is the country of origin of your gasoline?

Hold on, I can hear you. Hold on.

Oh, bullshit.

Hello?

Bullshit! Hello?

Hey, don't say bullshit, okay?

I'm sorry.

What can I do? I can hear you. How can I answer your question?

Don't yell at me!

Okay, that's enough. That's all I wanted to hear of that.

Oh, man.

I'm sorry.

Let me see if I can get her again. Hang on, let me try it one more time.

Holy shit.

I'm not really apologetic this time.

That's what I'm going to do.

Like we got off on a bad foot.

And then start right back into it.

What is that?

All right, whatever.

We're done with the show here.

We'll keep it ringing.

Milkman, take us out of here.

Are you ready to rumble?

That's right.

Just stop by the PCU chat room, knock somebody's teeth out,

and come back smiling after your band's been lifted.

And make sure you wash your hands before you shake them.

Thanks a lot, Mad Men, for all you do.

I'd like to thank our other sponsor, Dr. Lego.

He brings us great streams.

We will tickle your ear by fancies all around this globe.

Thank you so much to Lego, and thanks for calling in.

To thank our benevolent sponsor,

the tender of this crazy community we call PCU.

Thank you, KDK.

Hero of the Prank World.

A man with the foresight and the knowledge to realize

that the Madhouse had to be unleashed upon this world.

That's why I'd like to say,

our fearless leader right here in the Madhouse,

our commander, our general leader,

Peter Carlito.

I love Carlito.

God loves me.

Thank you so much, Carlito.

I saw him every week at the party room at the madhouse.

Yes.

Also, I want to thank the hardest working man in PCU, the Lonesome Loser.

God only knows where we would be without the Lonesome Loser.

So don't you all pick on the Lonesome Loser because he is one great dude.

He's a crazy guy.

I'd like to thank our special guest also.

We had the Clone Stone homegrown.

Yeah, that guy.

And a new visitor, my buddy, Sweet Kisses.

Oh, my goodness.

Yeah, he's my sweetheart.

Milkman is totally taken by this lady, I mean, I'm worried about her.

She is something else, boy.

I think she's after her money.

Thanks a lot for all those cookies, too.

Hey, man, watch your trust fund this time.

She's after my retirement money.

Yeah, whatever.

don't give up

all his money

also I'd like to

I'd also like to

thank Andy

who joined the

chat room

oh yeah him

everybody man

we thank everybody

the dad's in there

and everybody

who else called in

crazy fuckers

I especially

want to thank you

the listener

we love you

this is why we do it

it's all

without you

we'd be nothing

we pay every week

for you to come in here

and get an

act of entertainment

and get a laugh

and smile to take home.

Yeah, yeah.

Thanks a lot for tuning in.

I guess.

So just a few bit of items.

You know, of course, tomorrow, I guess,

High Pitch Eric and Dale and Sal

is calling from the Dr. Lego Memorial Studios

in New York.

So catch that tomorrow at 6 p.m. or so.

And then after that, I don't know,

maybe Jubal will do a show.

But then Zolar is confirmed.

He told me online he will be doing a show tomorrow.

That starts at 10 p.m. Eastern.

Zolar will be doing a show.

And Saturday, for sure, we know KDK will do a show.

KDK will be making an appearance on the 10th of October on the Howard Stern Show.

He will be having sexual intercourse with a post-op transsexual.

Don't miss it.

I'm sure it's going to be gripping.

And it's going to do wonders for us here at PCU.

Dr. Lego does his show normally on Monday nights around 9 p.m. Eastern.

and yeah, I guess

Joop does a show somewhere in there with his brother

and whatnot, Monkey Phone's

Retard Night, either Friday or Saturday

usually, and then Little Evil Neo

does something every once in a while too

so be sure to be out there to listen

to PCU and all that jazz

visit PCRadio.com

and visit MadHouseLive.com

subscribe for the podcast

if you haven't yet, so you can

automatically get every episode of this show

on a weekly basis

basis and that's it that's all we have to say milkman thank you for being here man it was

awesome thank you lonesome loser for the phone card thank you lonesome loser for the phone numbers

and the phone card thank you for your hard work nunu thank you also everybody the dead in the

chat room everybody in the chat room everybody everybody gets an a plus from me today great guys

good work everybody today great calls man i loved your famous calls thank god to nunu that was some

great numbers yes i also want to thank a new listener here that messaged me baby puppy cat

Thanks a lot, Baby Puppy Cat, for listening in.

Huh? Baby Puppy Cat?

Alright, whatever.

We're out of here, folks. Have a good weekend.

Thank you, Milkman, and thank you, everybody else.

Thanks a lot, man.

We'll catch you next week.

We love you too, Sweet Kippers.

You are listening to a replay

of Madhouse Radio.

Well, I think you should fucking hang up

or I'm going to find out who you are and punch your fucking face in.

How's that?

Be sure to visit us online at

Calls (25, 1 h 1 min of 2 h 14 min)

Transcript

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