2006-10-26 Show

Who plays What Happens in America?

Well, we themed your ass in World War II.

What do you have to do?

We never did, and who helped you out just now?

You pissed off, woman.

Don't talk to me like that.

We don't need you anyway, bitch.

God, fuck you.

Call me a stinky, stinky fucker.

You are listening to the Madhouse Radio Podcast.

Oh, man, this is going to be a bad night.

It's bad luck.

I'm talking to the mic.

It's bad luck, I said.

It's bad luck.

We're going to have to put it right up to your mouth.

What are we going to do about it?

I don't know.

We just have bad luck.

Fucking bad luck, right?

Bad luck sucks.

Hey, everybody.

It's the Bad Luck Show

Madhouse Radio is on

Welcome to us

In you, in your ear, touch your ear

Touch your speak

Direct to your house

Fiber direct to the house

That's how we are everybody

Thank you everybody for listening tonight

It is Carlito, it is 11.08pm

We are starting 1 hour and 8 minutes late

You know what, too bad

Right Mr. X, too bad

Yeah I say, it's going to be like this

We have a guest in studio tonight

night and maybe he or she will identify who it is uh there are a lot of rumors flying around as to

who is in the chat room and in in the uh in the madhouse radio studios here in uh beautiful sunny

florida um is it howard stern does it sound like howard stern to you say hey now hey now no it's

not howard stern it's somebody famous everybody there's somebody famous in studio tonight with me

your job is to guess who it is that's right guess who is in the in here today anyway uh manhouse

radio is starting with me here via satellite link up i assume i have uh certain other people

uh starting with the domino champion of the virgin islands none other than mr milkman holmes

hey cardito what's up brother i'm glad to be back man you're sounding very good and uh

And it sounds very interesting.

The show sounds like it's going to be very interesting.

And we've got a new in-studio guest, Mystery X.

Sounds very fascinating.

And I'm going to be interested to find out who this Mystery X person is.

Or if we could ever figure it out.

But it's going to be a great show.

All you folks out there, get your numbers ready.

We're going to call everybody you know.

That's right.

Oh, I'd like to ask if there's anybody out there that has a phone card that could donate for a few calls, please.

If you do, please message me or Carly, though.

I ran out of phone cards, and I apologize.

So I'm asking the listeners out there if you could donate a phone card, please.

Yes, please.

Back to you, big brother.

Save us, everybody.

Save us.

We're in dire need of a phone card.

It's a horrible thing.

I've never asked an audience like this before.

We need a phone card tonight.

Right, Mr. X?

Donate us a phone card.

Yeah, please donate us a phone card.

Mr. X implores you.

I will not reveal who Mr. X is until you donate a phone card.

That's a lie.

Appleseed, a.k.a. Andy, the former co-host, whose chair you're sitting in now, Mr. X, says,

I like the mystery guest more than Milkman already.

Well, that's great.

Milkman, my friend.

That's okay, Milkman.

Don't worry.

Don't feel afraid.

It is not.

Well, actually, I've got some stuff I'd like to send you, man, if you're on aim.

yes aim is standing by go ahead and use the aim away aim where you can reach me yeah where you

can reach me here in the studio at madhouse radio aim users madhouse radio jupe wants to call in

he's checking in at madhouse radio also and in due time we will have jupe to make a special

announcement also tonight we have tons of special announcements that tonight is going to be the

The most historic night in the history of Prank Call Underground.

Not only the radio station you're listening to now, but every...

I'm telling you, this announcement here, Mr. X, this announcement tonight is so awesome.

I am so excited about it tonight.

This is groundbreaking in the realm of all internet radio that's ever occurred in the history of internet radio.

Would you not agree with me?

I agree.

See, this is going to change the face of prank calls live on the internet forever.

If you think Zolar was an amazing thing, this announcement we're giving you tonight is even more amazing than Zolar's first show where he became a fixture.

It's more amazing than KDK's first show ever.

It is more amazing than what KDK did with a man with a mutilated penis a few weeks ago.

And we can guarantee you that Saigon will always talk shit about it.

Yes, and Saigon will always talk shit about it.

That's very true.

Frankly, this is bigger than anything that's ever happened in Internet radio history,

what we're announcing tonight.

So be tuned tonight.

I assure you, you will not be surprised.

Whatever.

And Clone Homegrown himself living the American dream.

Smoke weed every day.

What do you say, man?

Sorry.

I'd say what's up, but damn, man.

And I'm eager to find out who we have.

We will find out indeed.

Clone, you're excited about this.

Can I say?

No, don't say.

Don't say, but you're excited about this, right?

Clone knows.

I'm super excited, man.

I love the guy personally.

He's a great friend of mine.

It's going to be awesome, everybody.

I love to see him here.

This is groundbreaking material.

We have tons of new announcements for you tonight.

night. It's one of the most amazing nights

in my career of

doing... This is definitely the most

defining moment since I started

doing a show on

PCU, everybody, so

long ago. And there it is.

Thank you very much, Mr. X, for doing that.

Let's see what Lonesome Loser reports.

Lonesome Loser has reported...

Lonesome Loser reports

a phone card for us. So thank you very

much, Mr. Lonesome Loser himself.

The hardest working lay person

in... Excuse me, I'm a Clint.

Clemson. I'm so excited. I'm for Clemson.

And PCU.

Milkman, why don't you go ahead and announce another person who's joining us for the first time here on our satellite link.

Hey, man. Hey, I'd like to...

Talking to the mic, you horse's ass. Jesus, God.

Yeah, I'd like to announce...

Welcome the Warrior to our...

Yeah, welcome the Warrior to our...

Our little party. We call them Madhouse.

There he goes. Great. So the Warrior is with us here.

Dear Warrior, why don't you say a good howdy to everybody out there.

Hey, how are you all doing tonight?

We're okay.

A lot of background noise there.

You're calling us on location.

You're going to be reporting from another location tonight, I suppose.

Thank you very much for being there with us, Warrior.

Warrior is all playing into this also, everybody.

Anyway, there's no music at all, man.

Milkman, turn that music up, man.

There you go.

Much better.

Thank you.

Milkman, what are you doing back there?

Are you playing for yourself in the background so we can't hear you moaning?

Is that why you're stepping back from the mic?

He's eating Sweet Kiss's cookies.

Oh, he's eating cookies.

He's better than having a problem with the satellite.

Yeah, I think the satellite's all fucked up, probably.

That damn coconut phone of his.

Oh, by the way, what's up, Mr. X, Mr. Man?

What's going on, Clone Stone Homegrown?

What's up, dude?

Yeah, man, I'm so excited about this tonight.

I'm so jazzed.

The best show ever.

I'm stoked, man.

Let me have another bong hit.

Go ahead, please do.

I'll join you.

You can't hear it.

I'm in a headset, but I am.

Aw, man. See, it's not the same when we can't hear the bong hits anymore.

We need to get it recorded so I can at least play it artificially every time you do it.

We need to do this.

We've got to get you a recording of you smoking a bong hit,

so every time we do, I'll just play it so you're not pressured to make a lot of noise.

You know what I mean? We'll talk. We'll talk.

Anyway, taking a look at the chat room, let's see if there's any speculation out here.

Anyway, Milkman, you got any announcements to make yourself real quick?

Anything you want to talk about now's the time?

Yeah, everybody.

It's almost election day.

Try to get in there and get a ballot.

Trust the devolved machines.

Do not trust the electronic voting machines.

Stay away from it.

Remember, everybody, your vote is in.

Your vote is in poll.

Do not want to be ripped off by some hacker.

Your vote is in poll.

And go for the paper ballot.

You have to vote like a day or so early.

You're doing something, Milkman.

You talk so funny.

Are you talking too loud or something?

You're doing a good job.

This is a very important night.

We need to get everything 100% here tonight.

Well, Milkman's trying to say his vote, right?

Mr. X, you vote, don't you?

No.

Mr. X doesn't want to mention it.

Everybody vote.

Anyway.

Whatever you guys say, whatever you guys say.

With a paper ballot.

Okay.

Milkman, enjoy yourself over there with whatever you're talking about.

Paper ballots and voting on November 7th.

Did you get that, Carlito?

I understand.

He said, do not use a die-abold machine when you want to go to vote.

Insist on a paper ballot.

That's exactly what he said.

That Clone Homegrown is a parent.

Very silly, Sally.

I sent you a file.

Yes, I did get that.

A bong hit already.

Are you serious?

Wow, that is quick.

You are on top of things.

How did you do that so quickly?

We need to hear this thing on.

Milkman, cut the music real quick.

Thank you.

Cool.

All right, good deal, man.

Very proud of you, sir.

Very well done.

Thank you, thank you.

I did my part.

Smoke weed every day.

Doing your part.

Are you working again yet, Mr. Clone Homegrown?

I delivered flowers today and yesterday and probably tomorrow.

You might want to look into hanging out at Home Depot with some Mexican gentlemen.

They could probably find you a job.

Yeah, I think I'm going to take your job since it's open, man.

Selling oranges down there by the freeway.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Selling oranges is not a bad way to make a living.

Okay, what's the speculation we have here now, Mr. X?

Let me see here.

It's not Zolar.

Let me go back up here.

It looks like a whole lot of nothing.

Let's see.

Andy's thinking that it's Sean Ward.

He said it better not be that homo Sean Ward.

No, it is not that homo, Sean Ward, everybody.

Jupe says it isn't Zolar.

Oh, no, that's something else.

He's in something else.

Let's see here.

And it isn't that homo, Andy, either.

Yeah, Milkman hates Andy, Mr. X.

It's pretty sad.

Tom Mabe.

No, man, he's my trucking buddy.

We got a big old con boy.

Jack Bauer says it's Tom Mabe.

No, it's not Tom Mabe.

That would be a KDK exclusive.

I would not dare steal something from KDK.

Saigon was asking if it was Chong

No not Chong

Not Cheech either

Not Drew Garabo

I could only cream my pants

Brandon Vegas asked if it was Drew Garabo

Local Monday

Local morning

Talk show host from Orlando

Drew Garabo

No it is not

It's not Blackout

Is it Blackout?

I don't know

You never know man

Maybe it is Blackout

You know who

Get it right

Have you noticed who hasn't done a show tonight?

Who's not doing a show right now?

No

Blackout's not on the air

That's why Saigon isn't a show

Yeah, man.

Maybe it's him.

I don't know.

Oh, drop it.

Well, I don't know.

Wait.

Not Cheech.

Not Chong.

It's not Jeff Howell.

Whatever that is.

And there it is.

It's Fuck You Bitch Motherfucker Guy.

Yeah, that would be great if it was Fuck You Bitch.

That's what Andy said.

That does not sound like Fuck You Bitch Motherfucker Guy, though.

Fuck You Bitch Motherfucker.

So, whatever.

There it is.

Yeah.

Prank calls, gentlemen?

Should we do that?

Prank calls, man.

Line them up.

Shoot them down.

That's right.

All right, well, guys, I mean, should we make the announcement now?

Let's go ahead and do a prank call real quick, all right?

Yeah, let's do a couple of pranks, and we'll let them shut it out.

Yeah, that's right, Milkman.

We've got to make a show out of this, all right, guys?

So, Mr. X, just stay quiet.

Just chill out.

We're going to work on it, everybody.

Remember, we was called, guys.

You know, after tonight, I may not be able to do a show again on PCU.

It's a blessing that my last night on PCU may be tonight,

night and that in that case it would be the best show i ever had this announcement is going to be

so great for my future um i'm going to be financially independent now thanks to this

it's that big of an announcement everybody you won the lottery man way to go no no i didn't win

the lottery well in in in a literal sense i did win the lottery if you think about it i didn't

win that's right i didn't win the cash money from playing the number but i did win the lottery in

this deal that i have struck by myself and you know that's the way to fucking look at things in

life too you know it is it is you need to be positive an optimist always an optimist like

right now i am an optimist because i consider myself half dressed not half naked see and mr

x not really mr x not embarrassed to sit next to me with my shirt off so there it is okay so it's

not who i thought it was then i don't know man i mean it's not i don't know earth dog think it's

Is it Pimp Slut?

Say what's up, Pimp Slut.

No, I know who it is.

It's not Pimp Slut.

I'm smart like that.

Mr. X shakes his head.

It's not Pimp Slut, everybody.

Sorry.

Good guess, Sir Thug.

But no, not Pimp Slut.

Like I said before, a whole bunch of nothing.

Is it Jonathan?

Yeah.

Jonathan?

No, it is not Jonathan.

That would be funny if Jonathan was here.

I am too afraid to let Jonathan...

I don't like him, though.

Yeah.

Tell Mr. X I got fucking smoked out last night

Not with my dealer on a blunt or two with Joe.

Nice.

Nice, man.

That's very nice.

Very, very nice.

I need to enable the toll-free number.

Who's frying eggs out there?

Milkman?

Milkman.

Yep.

Go ahead and look in your Gmail right now.

Look in my Gmail right now.

The Gmail account?

We need a sound effect for Gmail.

I mean, G-Talk.

G-Talk.

G-G-G-G-Gmail.

Anyway, let's see here.

In my Google.

Check my Google.

Sir, you have not...

There we go.

Now it's coming through.

You slow bastard.

Let's see.

Act like a gay guy and get her to think he is gay now.

Oh, this is new news production from last week that didn't go through?

Who was it?

No, Warrior, right?

No, this is one of them sweet kisses.

Okay.

All right, fine.

Milkman, you know what?

Milkman, I don't appreciate you giving Ne-Yo the number to my bitch.

Debra Mansfield, what's up with that, man?

Why'd you give her that number, man?

That's a madhouse property.

Why would you do that?

Well, that's...

Oh, Jesus, God.

God, would you talk into the microphone?

I don't know what the hell you're saying.

Don't speak Arabic.

I don't speak Arabic either, you Muslim fuck.

Here he goes.

It's Milkman.

Hang on.

Milkman has to talk, everybody.

Hey, Milkman, you're a faggot.

Fuck you, bitch, motherfucker.

All right, my bad.

I'm sorry, man.

Fuck you, motherfucker, bitch.

All right, prank call.

It's time for the prank call.

We're going to try to call.

Okay, let me refresh your memory, everybody, from last week.

This is something that didn't fucking go through.

Ralph and his girlfriend Cindy, his favorite NASCAR driver is Jeff Gordon.

Do you know anything about racing?

So Jeff Gordon, you wouldn't know.

Isn't he pretty much the gay NASCAR driver?

Yeah.

You wouldn't know.

Pretty much what it is, man.

Come on.

Mr. X does not know about NASCAR, everybody.

There's another clue.

He goes to White Castle at 5 a.m. to drink coffee and read the paper.

His girlfriend thinks he is seeing someone else,

was told that he has been known to pick up prostitutes.

He goes to a bar called LJ's on Friday night on Meridian Street, yada yada.

They recommend I act like a gay guy and get her to think that he is gay now

and gives me the cell phone of the girlfriend.

I really hope the girlfriend answers this time, gentlemen,

because I was really excited about this last week and you guys did not come through.

Appreciate it.

This is their first number.

I have the first number first.

That's right.

What is up with you and the mic?

No, man, seriously, what is your problem?

Because, remember, I lost my J20 to a different mic.

I didn't have the noise cancelling direction on the other one, man.

I don't know.

KDK is upset in the chat room.

You know, soon we might not have to worry about KDK anymore, everybody.

I mean, that's the way it's going to go on Madhouse Radio.

Soon enough, we may not have to worry about anybody else.

We are going to be independent, everybody.

This is the...

I'm telling you, everybody, it is the most groundbreaking event

event in the history of internet radio here tonight october 26th when's halloween guys

the 31st what day is that is that a thursday my birthday is on tuesday baby hey milkman's

birthday on the 31st all right happy birthday milkman all right happy birthday mr president

we're in the mood tonight one day closer milkman one year closer to that day when you hear that

Already there, man.

I have come back just on certain clowns.

Yeah.

Ted in the chat room.

Dude, homeboy, we haven't said how you get into the chat room, you know?

That's a fucking piece of shit chat room and those assholes that run it.

Motherfuckers.

IRC.lazy-de.

Isn't that not correct?

IRC.lazy-de.

I don't know.

That's no way to join.

Like, Mopin's going to know.

The good old IRC way for IRC.lazy-net.

.de.

Very good.

Very good, sir.

Very good.

Very well played.

Okay, we're doing the first prank call to that Ralph, gentlemen.

I need to find a song to play.

Any suggestions, gentlemen?

First song of the night, first call of the night is where we start things.

George Clinton.

Ooh, smoke weed every day.

Smoke weed every day.

What song is that?

That's a Dr. Dre song.

Do I have that ready to go?

It's the next episode, ladies and gentlemen.

The song, which is Clone Homegrown's request tonight.

Milkman gets the next song tonight.

Milkman gets song number two.

There you go, everybody.

Yeah.

Well, I'm privileged then.

I'm number one.

Mama said I could be something one day.

Because everybody, Clone Homegrown also has...

Also look in your aim.

I did send you that file.

We also have Clone Homegrown.

And I want to dedicate that when you get ready for that.

God damn it, mother...

God damn you, motherfucker.

God damn it.

What about Clone Homegrown?

He has a special announcement tonight also, don't you, Clone Homegrown?

Come on, you know why you have a special announcement tonight.

Or are you not aware?

Milkman, did you not tell Clone Homegrown about the special announcement tonight?

No.

I told him, but he was taking a bong rip, so he might have forgotten.

Wow, so he's not even aware of this yet.

Okay, fine, we'll let you know when it happens.

The announcement's coming soon, everybody, but anyway...

Meet me in the private room.

Yeah, yeah.

We'll talk in the back room real quick.

Hang on.

So let's play this real quick.

Take care of that.

We're going to bring Clone Homegrown up to speed.

And, uh, shit.

First prank call tonight is coming up also.

One moment, please.

It's not working, gentlemen.

What?

Not working.

We'll have to try it later.

Shit.

Anyway.

Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh.

I had them on mute.

My bad.

Milkman, report, sir.

How are you feeling?

Here you go.

Thank you.

Great.

I have a voice.

Excellent.

I'm glad you feel good with a voice.

Hey, check your aim.

I sent you a file, and when you're ready for that,

I would like to request to make a dedication to that.

Okay, no problem, sir, absolutely.

I will check that before this segment is through.

We will play that before the Super Announcement.

Again, like I said, the most important night in the history of PCU is tonight.

We need to call somebody.

We need to get this fucking...

Yes, sir.

We got to break the hymen.

You know what I mean?

I wouldn't admit it, Mr. X.

Call Cindy Taylor and get her boyfriend in trouble.

Milkman just talks, Mr. X, sometimes.

He just kind of goes.

It's all right.

We got the Buccaneer Hotel in the Virgin Islands, Milkman.

Any idea?

That's what Chris had said, homeboy.

You know where the Buccaneer Hotel is?

Milkman.

Where the what?

The Buccaneer Hotel.

Is that the hotel you fixed?

Yeah, man.

Yeah.

Yeah, man.

We got the number.

It's right down the road from where I used to work.

We got the Buccaneer Hotel here on ready to call, man.

Confirmed by Lonesome Loser himself.

Give me some background information.

What's it look like?

What color is it?

Come on, man.

Well, I haven't seen it for a while.

I think it's like pink, I think.

But I can't remember what it looks like.

But it's right next to a golf course.

They have the triathlon there.

They show it on the sports channels and stuff.

Okay.

And it's a nice hotel, actually.

It's one of the nicest ones on the island.

All right, good.

Well, we need to call that then, don't you think?

Yeah.

We'll call Cindy Taylor before it gets too late.

She's not answering.

I tried a bunch of times.

It didn't work.

We'll try it later.

I need to call the...

It's not answering?

No, it's going straight to voicemail, man.

Did you try the cell phone?

That's what I try, straight to voicemail.

Okay, never mind.

Call the Buccaneer.

Okay, we'll call the Buccaneer, and then we'll try her one more time.

We got stuff to do here.

Moving on.

Yes, indeed.

We're trying again, everybody. Stand by.

Man, what color is this place?

Is this a Buccaneer Hotel?

It's a Buccaneer Hotel.

You got any spaces, man?

Hello?

You got any spaces, bitch?

I kind of told the night.

Hey!

Hello?

Yeah, where's the spaces at?

Where is it?

Where's your spaces at, man?

Yeah, that's too clear. Can't hear too clear.

You can't hear me too clear.

Mr. Rex, hang that up real quick.

When you call back, the connection is not good.

Shut up!

Hey, you hear me now?

Yeah.

Yeah, you hear me now, don't you?

Because you're scared.

What you're saying?

I said you're scared and you hear me now, huh?

Are you scared?

Yeah, where's your spaces, man?

Where's your spaces at?

Spaces.

Where's your spaces at, I said.

I know you're there, asshole.

Tell me where your spaces is at.

Man, I want my spaces, Mr. X, you know?

Oh, I'm going to have to call him back.

Hang that up, Mr. X.

I don't want his spaces all full.

Man, I know he's there.

We're going to call him back.

Hang on, everybody.

We're calling for my spaces.

Oh, I wish I knew you was wanting to do some same toy numbers.

I could have already got some more hotels lined up.

Make it so, man.

Hey, buddy, where's the spaces at?

Can you please just answer me my question about the spaces?

Why is your spaces all taken?

What spaces are you talking about?

The spaces in your hotel.

I want to know if the spaces are there or not.

You got how many spaces you got, man?

We need spaces.

One living room, one closet.

Whatever.

Yeah, whatever it is, man.

We need some spaces.

Hello.

Yeah, how much is your spaces, man?

I told you that the hotel is full.

Huh?

Huh? Their hotel is full?

Yes.

Come on, man. You don't got no space for me in there anywhere? I just need spaces.

No.

What do you mean it's full? What is that supposed to mean?

That there's no room.

I don't need room. I need spaces.

I don't know what you mean, but...

I just need one space, man. Just one spaces. Come on. Give me some space.

I said there's no room.

You son of a bitch. Give me a space.

I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.

Oh, man. Spaces.

This is one of those words that just hit me all of a sudden. Spaces.

God damn it, I'm muted.

You're not muted anymore.

It doesn't matter, there's no damn spaces.

Yeah, there's no spaces, man.

Is spaces like Puerto Rican thing, Carlito?

I don't know what it is, man, but I want my spaces and I want them now.

No one has any idea what I'm saying.

Okay, I just sent you one there, a good one.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you very much.

Let me give you a little background on this.

I have an announcement to make, everybody.

Is it?

Zolar.

Is it really good, also?

Shut up.

Zolar has just been opt in the chat room, everybody.

Breaking news here.

Breaking news.

You heard it first.

You heard it here first.

Were you here at first?

I mean, Madhouse.

Madhouse Radio.

Soon to be something new, everybody.

This is all going to be new.

Right, Milkman?

Aren't you guys excited about this clone?

I know you're excited.

I'm all for it now.

Yeah, man.

I'm excited about it.

Man, I'm pumped.

I'm enthused.

I know and I believe that Clone is up to the challenge.

that we're going to present to him.

I'll step up, man.

I'll be the man about things and take a shot.

Okay.

Well, Milkman in Google, G-Talk as they call it,

is sending me a number for the King's Alley Hotel,

which is under construction,

and tell them no crack rooms this time like four years ago.

I'm going to ask if they have any help.

A little background.

They used to have an older hotel there,

and it was really

plagued by a lot of crack whores

who'd come around and pound on the doors

trying to get some sucky fucky

for a rock

so they actually tore down

that hotel and tried to rebuild a new one

and it's still not completely

all the rooms are not online

they're still using some of the old rooms

so you can kind of badger them about that

and tell them you don't want no damn crack whore room

like you had the last time like four years ago

and dammit I heard that you can actually

You can buy crack out of the unfinished rooms right now.

That's what I hear.

Really?

I'll have to frequent that place.

Yeah, that's it.

Everybody, be sure to go there.

That's a tip from Madhouse Radio.

Congratulations.

Everybody, we're moving on.

We're moving on.

Yeah, tell them that you don't want the included crack whore.

You want to bring your own and get some crack.

Okay, well, I'm going to ask for spaces.

There's speculation in the chat room about the spaces.

What is a space?

How do you order a space?

What does a space do?

People are asking.

Could a trash can be a space?

Perhaps.

I don't know.

You know what?

It's got space in it.

It does.

It's not man-sized.

Yeah, you're at a point.

Very well put, Mr. X.

Issue being, I don't know what a space is.

I just made it up.

So, space is, to you, whatever you want a space to be.

Ted says, in hotel terminology, is it a room?

KDK supposes a closet could be a space.

So, yeah, I mean, it's a good discussion on the word space.

Just think about it.

Space means space, outer space.

What do you think about when you think about space, man?

You think about either outer space, you know, stars and planets,

or you can think about, you know, the amount of room you have in your house,

a parking space.

Space. It can't be space. It's a word that transcends everything.

Clone is just hitting the microphone like, okay.

Who is it?

I know. Very well. I know. We're moving on.

Someone there is echoing. You know what? You got to get your shit straight over there.

I just took a bong hit. Sorry.

Okay. Whatever. We're calling the King's Alley Hotel that's under construction right now. Okay?

And there it is.

King's Alley?

King's Alley Hotel. I mean, that's the kind of place I would go to look for crack.

A place called King's Alley. Fuck it.

There is a titty bar in Dallas named King's Alley.

Well, you see, they probably had a crack there.

I bet you they have crack there in some form or another.

I'm sure they do.

I don't know.

They're closed now.

What do you think?

Probably because of crack.

That's what I heard.

We're right back with that prank call.

And then after this, the announcement, everybody.

The announcement coming next after this prank call.

Sweet.

Okay, good.

Yeah, I sent you the area code.

I got it.

I figured it out.

Thank you.

I love you, Carlito.

I love you, too.

man is someone going to pick up at this i'm going to send you a different number man those guys

must not be answering well they're under construction still i suppose maybe they're

not answering a phone we're going to keep waiting for this uh damn uh fucking announcement i mean

should we just make it now or at least part of it or something before we do the announcement

we have somebody well you can give away a little bit oh man i mean this is such big news you just

want to all right i guess we can give away i know you just want to blurt it out right now don't

Don't shoot your wad yet.

Don't shoot your wad yet, man.

Hold it off, man.

And let's play some more pranks and do some more stuff

and wet the appetizers for the listeners

and get everybody all ready for the...

All right, well, we're doing one more prank call than the announcement.

I guess I suppose that one doesn't count.

The nail is going to come here in a little while.

Whatever.

Well, that doesn't count.

I'm hoping Crazy Fucker calls in tonight because he's part of it, too.

People in the chat room, Andy himself says,

make the gay announcement already.

ready saigon speculates is milkman going to ghost ride on his hover round um and there we go

speculation coming in uh when's he going to bring the guest in when the show's over i don't know

speech about it never earth dog crazy saying christ make it this is a monumental show hawk

fan says he can't get in everybody hawk fan can't get in you suck i'm sorry hawk fan you can't get

get in i wish i had that song keep on knocking but you can't get in that'd be awesome that'd be

awesome for for him right now but no alas i do not have that song anyway damn that would be good

that would be good right that wouldn't that be so apropos we need to play some acdc or something

man let's play something good here man god damn it okay i just sent you another number these guys

are open all night a casino there okay i'm gonna ask for their spaces the only one in the virgin

whatever about 15 minutes from me they're the only casino on the virgin islands yeah this one here

the dv arena casino resort where are they located in christianstead it's dv carina no uh yeah it's

part it's actually it's out it's out far east okay it's in the christianstead district but

far east okay all right um super what can i say we'll call it christianstead then it is

uh here's a casino too so you can fuck with them whatever you say brother whatever you say

Here comes the next call. Calm down, buddy.

Nice-ass rooms, man. Beautiful place.

Good evening. Good evening, Courtney. Is that your name?

Yes, it is.

So I'm about to assume you're a man with a woman's name.

Just kidding, Courtney. How are you doing today, sir?

I'm doing well.

Excellent. Sir, how long have you been working there?

For the beginning of the year.

It was the beginning of the year, so about 11 months going on now, huh?

Do you like it there?

So far.

Have you ever thought about maybe pursuing another type of avenue?

Maybe taking that step up that they're not giving you there at the Avena?

Nope.

Well, let me tell you something, sir.

I'm recruiting staff from the Avena to open up the second casino on the Virgin Islands.

It's going to be actually on St. Thomas.

And I would be more than happy to have you come on over for an interview.

We're looking for management staff.

We're looking for someone to be in charge of the front desk

and the whole operations on the front lobby area floor.

We're going to consider you a manager.

It's going to be associate manager, actually.

You actually are a manager, but you're the manager of the associates.

All the associates, the front end staff, whatever you're being paid now,

we can definitely look about maybe doubling that,

maybe even more than double what you're making now.

Hold on one second.

Sure.

Hold on one second.

Yes, sir.

I think he's taking it.

Man, there's a law against anybody having a casino anywhere but the Virgin Islands and St. Croix, man.

It's really going to mess with his head.

Maybe he's calling the governor.

Mr. Governor, now, that's all money I'm saying.

He's picking open up a casino.

Yeah, and he's dead, too.

There's no more terms for him, man.

This guy's a big fag, man, an anti-man.

Bruno Vega.

Hey, everybody knows Bruno Vega, that bastard.

He's a son of a bitch.

Who?

Bruno Vega, man.

You don't know who Bruno Vega is?

This is Bruno Vega.

I'm just fucking with you.

He's awesome.

He's the best.

Is he Borat?

No.

No, but he used to do a lot of calls on our show.

Sounds like somebody's killing the keyboard.

I'm trying to do something.

Hello.

Okay.

I want to thank you for the opportunity, but no thank you.

Who did you discuss it with?

I didn't discuss it with anybody.

Oh, come on.

Did you talk to your...

Did you call your wife on the other line?

No, I don't have a wife.

Do you have a boyfriend?

Do you have a good night?

Do you have a boyfriend?

Uh, good night.

We have excellent benefits for same-sex couples.

Come on.

Look, I'll tell you the truth.

It's a gay casino, okay?

Come on.

We're rich gay.

Anything, sir.

Hate you hanging out.

Oh, Jesus.

That's as far as we got.

All that waiting for nothing.

On, I'm a bitch.

Good night.

I know.

We tried.

Not bad.

Milkman, you're sending me another resort, but I need...

You're a kid.

We're gonna make the announcement, everybody.

I am very excited about this.

You have no idea how exciting this is.

This is going to be the most important announcement ever made in the history of this program.

This is the biggest announcement in my life as far as this show goes.

Mr. X is here also.

We're not going to talk in all of our lives.

Mr. X is not going to go revealed after this, though.

Mr. X.

And until the very end of the show, we're not going to play that final card,

which is what's going to seal this deal.

Do the breaking news clip.

I will, damn it.

But when you hear who Mr. X is at the very end of the show, it is all going to make sense to you why this is just absolutely, absolutely fucking amazing.

And we have a guest who's going to be calling in right after the announcement.

Oh, my God, Ricky.

I've been dying to find out.

Earth shattering, everybody.

So, yeah, let me get set up here.

I can't wait.

Any speculations?

Who's here that can speculate?

Clone, do you know the whole story?

Do you know exactly what the announcement is?

Would you like to make your honest guess?

Go ahead and tell me what your honest guess at it might be is.

Split.

Maybe it is a split.

Maybe perhaps it is.

Maybe it is.

Anyway, people are begging for the announcement.

For a golf club in the end.

I don't consider it.

I don't consider it a split, though.

A golf, a what?

I don't know.

Andy agrees.

You know what?

And I'll tell you what, and I feel bad.

My best friend, Andy, former co-host of the show, very close friend of mine,

Even he has been kept in the dark about this announcement.

It is that sensitive that it had to be kept between literally a tight-knit group of one, two, three, four, five people know about this.

And we've been planning it for three months now, and we have finally decided to go forward with this.

It's just, honestly, everybody, I'm so excited to announce this.

But you know what?

I can't find the special music for it.

That's what I'm trying to stall because I'm a fat-ass moron.

never gets anything fucking right hang on listen to this for 10 seconds hang on oh yeah milkman

can you get your electric guitar later tonight and play some um uh play some stairway to heaven

for us i'd really like i have a request for you to do that from somebody all right good deal man

man i'd love to but okay no buts good i thought you were gonna give me a 25 is dead it got hit

by lightning oh man that sucks okay what can you do i'm sorry that was my recording interface man

Yeah, no big loss.

That's how come I can plug in my low impedance mic to it.

No big loss.

Little Evil Neo speculates I'm going to become a woman.

No, absolutely not.

Appleseed asks if it's a gay orgy.

And then be fucked by Katie Kane.

Yeah, look at all these speculations.

It's flying.

Ted's making an announcement also.

He probably has to go take a shit.

Jill Rosenthal speculates, am I pregnant?

No, I am absolutely not pregnant, although I have been checked for that twice before.

Is Dina pregnant?

No.

No, no.

No, she is not.

She is not.

Athena is not with child.

That would not happen.

It's time to do a call.

Stay tuned for the announcement.

No, we're doing the announcement now, man.

After this next call.

Bullshit.

You know what?

You're no longer part of the equation, okay?

You're no longer part of the equation.

You got it.

But here we go.

The announcement, everybody.

I can't do this, man.

This is something.

I'm biting my nails here.

Hurry up.

What is it going to be?

The announcement, everybody, is that I have created the most powerful team

in the history of Internet radio, and we are splitting up PCU starting tonight.

We're taking the best and the brightest of PCU and outside.

Even one person so famous he goes unnamed until later tonight.

It is absolutely insane who this is.

But we have created, between I and several others, Milkman included,

The new station, the new stream that we have, we have bought a new server.

400 users can listen in 64K stereo, and we're also offering 400 listeners in 24K mono.

We are going to be listed on iTunes.

Starting now, it is already listed, everybody.

But due to issues, I cannot give the stream out until we officially go live on Monday.

day but everybody i present to you um what do i present to you i forgot already hang on i messed

it up son of a bitch i had this ready and not but uh this is going to be a place for all of us to go

where we can enjoy ourselves without having to deal with other people who are literally uh technically

not as funny as we are or as talented as the group that i have created so i give you everybody the

the new face of madhouselive.com,

and our new website, 98.6themouth.net.

Here it is, everybody.

The Madhouse Radio Network.

Why would you ruin it, you stupid shit?

You talked over it.

My big moment, and you talked over it.

Oh, man.

I'm on delay, I'm sorry.

Oh, man.

Well, that's it.

It's over.

Forget it.

Deal's off, Milkman.

I'm kidding.

I didn't mean to talk to you like that, Milkman.

All right, awesome.

I didn't mean to talk to you like that.

Anyway, here is the announcement.

The new face of manhouselive.com and the new 98.6themouth.net.

It's fucking up on me.

98.6themouth.

That's right, everybody.

That is our new stream.

It is 98.6themouth.

It is going to be online starting Monday.

98.6themouth.net is the website.

site. We have created a new

stream with myself.

I will be still on Thursday nights

on none other than 98.6.

98.6.

That's right. I would like to thank

God damn it.

I would like to thank EarthDog very much for

having created that for us.

I am so freaking excited about this.

I mean, here's a sample of

what 98.6 amount

on Sunday nights.

None other than Mr. Lonesome

Loser himself will be

be hosting a radio show sunday night starting at 9 p.m eastern i don't know the title of the show

but it's going to be music by lonesome loser with occasional talk and he'll be taking toll-free

callers on the 98.6 mouth line that's 888-278-8509 uh lonesome loser has sent this in this is his

idea of what it will sound like to listen to uh his show milkman do you have that ready

Okay, here you go.

Did you send it yet?

No, you were supposed to send that to me, dude.

Seriously, what's going on here?

It's a professional.

I just sent it to you, man.

Look and check the folder.

This is a professional operation.

Okay, here it is.

This is what it will sound like.

Sample from Lonesome Loser right here.

98.6.

No.

That's like that.

Lonesome Loser, we play music just like that.

You guys get it?

No.

I've confused the hell out of you.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, baby.

Yeah, so everybody, 98.

Lonesome Loser rocks the house.

yep it's 98.6 the mouth you can spell it nine eight pt uh hyphen six d-a-m-o-u-f dot com dot

net dot net right is that right mr x what do we 98.6 the mouth 98 point system is six mouth the

mouth dot net everybody our new stream that's going on live on monday bong hits for 98.6

That's right, because none other on Saturday nights going head-to-head with KDK himself,

the man who I believe is the only one among us who could actually take on a force as strong as KDK,

none other than Cloned Homegrown, 10 p.m. Eastern, 10 p.m. Eastern, every Saturday night.

Can you believe it?

The news coming in here, 98.6 amount.

mouth clone homegrown every saturday night at 10 p.m eastern on 98.6 the mouth i'm excited about

it dude it's gonna be awesome man what do you have to say about your new show anything that

we should know about it is cloned even here is it has he been eliminated already cloned your show

i missed that announcements about your new show on 98.6 the mouth.com pulling a bomb here uh it'll

be it'll be fun great great man that's it there you go yeah all i need to know you have that to

to look forward to, motherfuckers. It's going to be fun.

I can't wait for Closed Show.

Saturday nights.

Oh, shit.

Oh, Jesus, help me. God in the mouth.

98.6.

Thank you, Ms. Drex.

God, help me. Jesus in the mouth, man.

That's all I got to say.

98.6 in the mouth. The party is here.

You're all invited.

We're working on that bumper right now.

We haven't finished it yet.

98.6.

I love that so much.

That's the most hilarious thing I've ever done in my life.

Joop is sitting in his submission at themouthradio.com.

That'd be awesome, too.

I don't know why I love 98.6 The Mouth, but it just sounds funny, so that's why I decided to name this drink.

98.6.

That's a good one, man.

I love it.

Oh, man, I am way too fucked up for this tonight.

Oh, man, oh, man.

Look at that.

I can't even talk.

Hang on.

I've got to clear the line for our special client, who's going to be a PCU personality.

Are you high?

Oh, man, I haven't been like this in a while, honestly.

Yeah, it is Mr. X.

You're right.

Very good.

Way to go, Mr. X.

Yeah, Mr. X came through tonight, man.

I'm only a man of his.

Is it Snoop Dogg?

Is it Matis Yahoo?

You don't know everybody, so try to find out.

Here on 98.6 The Mouth.

And our special caller is on the line.

Mr. X is definitely not Jewish.

No Jews on this station.

I don't know about our next caller.

Let's find out.

His name is very close to a Jew.

Maybe you'll guess who it is.

Oh, it's Carlito there.

Everybody, the closest you're ever going to get to a Jew on 98.6 The Mouth,

you've got to add a P to the end of it, Mr. Jupe himself.

It's Jupe.

Because you don't spell Jew J-O-O, you spell it with a P, and it's Jew, and it's a two-oh.

I'm so excited about this, Joop.

Joop, you're going against Zolar on Friday nights at 10 p.m. Eastern.

Yeah, I think I can take that movie.

I've been doing internet radio at least more time than he has.

Yeah, he's in it.

He's not worth the shit on the bottom of my boot.

Do you have anything you'd like to say to Zolar?

Zolar, I am told he is listening tonight.

Do you have any announcements you'd like to make or any word you'd like to say to your new competitor,

who I think you're just going to totally fuck him up and manhandle him,

because you're way better than Zolar has ever been and much more talented here in 98.6 The Mouth.

98.6 The Mouth.

Friday nights at 10 p.m.

Go ahead.

Now's your time, Gio.

Take the floor.

I will say something, but you have to play the 98.6 The Mouth jingle for me really quickly.

Okay, let me try to turn it up so you can hear it.

You probably won't, but I'm playing it right now.

Okay, good.

98.6.

No.

I love that.

It's like the fucking cheesiest radio jingle.

I know.

People are...

Milkman, it's your job to tell people what the website is.

You're the one that's in charge of getting the webpage.

I mean, you told me we had 98.6 to mouth.

Which one is it?

It says awfully long web address.

I know.

Are you spelling it all out?

I think JDK has it, according to the way that I described it.

Man, this is totally crazy.

So, Jupe, man, fucking good luck.

It's going to be fucking awesome to have you back on the air.

Oh, yeah.

You know, all the backroom drama that's kept you off the air all these weeks.

I've missed you, brother.

People think I'm just lazy, but I'm kind of on a forced hiatus

because my mother had a neck surgery and she's been home for three months

and I haven't been able to do my internet radio show, which I miss.

Right, okay.

That's all that's been keeping me.

Yeah, well, you know what?

Yeah, you know what?

And you've eliminated her then, huh?

Yep, she's gone.

Dead.

Excellent, man.

How much did that cost you?

Well, I did it.

You did it yourself.

Awesome.

It cost me enough for a packet of disposable butter knives.

Oh, awesome.

Don't even ask me how I pulled it off with those.

Not even a spork?

It was actually one of those cheap butter knives.

The plastic ones.

It was a cheap butter knife.

Man, that's like a spoon.

That's got to hurt, man.

You're hardcore.

Right in the ass.

Yeah.

Okay.

Fucking awesome.

You want to do a prank call before we let you go, Jupe?

Host of...

Oh, you've got it.

Host of 98.6 The Mouse.

Oh, no.

Jupe and Friends.

What is the name of my show?

It's Jupe and Friends.

It can't be a monkey phone.

Can it be Jupe and Friends?

Jupe and Friends.

Yeah, Jupe and Friends something.

You're on tomorrow at 10 p.m., and I hope you're going to be ready.

Well, I'm going to be on P.C.

Oh, shit, we're splitting from P.C.

We can't do P.C. anymore.

It's 98.6 of the mouth, so there it is.

I'm really discombobulated because I've been thinking tonight was Friday night

because there was a bomb threat called into my school,

and I don't have to go to school tomorrow because I don't feel safe.

Did you call in a bomb threat?

No.

Okay.

Okay, just making sure it wasn't you who did it, because you wanted a Friday off or something.

Now, that would be funny.

That would be funny.

So, if I wanted Friday off, I would skip Friday.

Good, yeah, you don't have to, yeah, yeah.

Joop's cool like that, man.

All right, yeah, I'm really cool like that, yeah.

I know you are.

Let's call somewhere.

Give me a number.

I got Piehole Pizzeria.

We got Wanker's Corner Saloon and Cafe in Oregon.

That's funny.

Ooh, ooh, Wanker's Corner.

Wanker's Corner Saloon and Cafe.

Lonesome Loser says a dumb bitch answered about 20 minutes ago, so they should still answer, hopefully.

It's Oregon.

Okay.

I'll file a complaint with them.

Okay.

Well, everybody stand by.

Here comes Joop with the next prank call of the night on 98.6 The Mouth.com.

98.6 The Mouth.

Oh, great choice.

Jen, how may I help you?

Hi, is this Wanker's Corner Saloon?

This is Wanker's Corner.

Hi, I have a grievance I'd like to take up with you.

Okay.

Um, I was in there around lunch today, and as it's a cafe, I figure, I'm kind of tired.

I'm on my lunch break from work.

I'm going to take a break and drink some coffee.

Okay.

And I come in.

I order the coffee.

I sit down.

I drink, for the most part, all of the coffee.

About half of my cup is lost when this awful, atrocious-looking man comes out of nowhere

and spits the coffee onto my lap.

Oh, my goodness.

And I was wearing khakis, so it seeped right into my groin.

I figure, all right, I'll go, like, fix myself up.

I'll go home.

And I'll grab the manager for you, okay?

All right.

Okay, hang on just one second.

The comments in the chat room are hilarious.

How can you not understand 98.6, what is it called?

98.6 them out.com.

It's not that kind of a concept to grab people.

I know, assholes.

Get it right.

Don't listen.

Let's go.

Can I help you?

Hi, my name is Robert Jackson.

Did your employee explain to you the situation?

I haven't even gotten through all of it anyway, so you want me to start from the beginning?

I came in the shower today.

I'm an accountant.

I'm going.

I figured, cafe, I'll just grab some coffee, go back to work, right?

And I order a nice tall cup of coffee.

I'm about to take it better than, you know, any other skin.

This awful-looking man, very grisly, bald, almost, I figure, right, the burns are avoidable.

I clean myself off as quick as I can.

I call him to work, and I tell him, I'm going home.

A bit of money, but I'd rather have no burns and have to pay a spot on it.

I go to lay down for a nap, and I say, I think I'm going to, I've got to do something about it.

And I woke up a couple hours ago, and the pain was awful.

And it was swelling.

You know what I'm talking about.

I don't even have to say it.

Swelling, it was red.

What are you talking about?

My penis.

Penis was swollen and red.

All right.

Burned.

I can only imagine.

Absolutely.

I had burns and boils and blisters.

On your penis?

In my lap.

In your lap?

And I go to the hospital.

They wrap them in gauze a bit.

They tell me that I'm going to have to stay the night.

This is where I'm calling from, the hospital.

You did nothing.

You did nothing when I came up to the register and said,

Did you see that guy?

He came up to me and he spilled coffee right on my lap.

You guys did nothing.

And you know what?

You're being served is what I'm saying.

I'm what?

what? You're going to be served. You can do anything for me. Yes, my

hospital bill.

Hang it right out of your pocket.

No way to doubt that.

Knock yourself out, though.

Yeah, I don't know what to tell you.

I don't know. Did you tell anybody? Did you report her to anybody?

Who did you tell?

Police.

No, when you were here, did you tell anybody that worked here?

I told a woman at the counter.

Counter. Bar?

Yeah.

What did she look like? So I can get an idea of who you talked to.

That way I can find out.

She had, like, the hair like that.

Wait, she had what?

She had blonde highlights.

Brown hair with blonde highlights behind the bar? A younger gal?

Younger gal behind the bar? Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay, that was the only person bartending today.

And so it got it on your wiener, you're telling me.

I mean, before the burn one.

That's where one of the burns, it stretches all over my lap.

And you're sure you were at Wanker's Corner in Wilsonville?

Yes, that's the irony of that.

That's crazy, isn't it?

Yeah, I hear you.

Let me get Jan Handler.

Who is this?

Hello?

Hello, who is this?

Who is this?

Hello?

Let me get Stan Savick and see if she can work it out with you.

Who is this, I say?

All righty.

Hello, sir, who is this?

Who is this?

Who are you talking to, David?

Hold on, let me get her.

She'll answer.

Who are you talking to, David?

Hello, Dad, you fucking asshole.

Who is this?

You ruining my fun again, Dad?

Whatever.

You raining on my parade?

Let me let this woman come back.

Milkman, say something.

Say something.

It's taking too fucking long.

Hey, man.

98.6.

No.

I don't care.

I got time to get high.

I know, man.

Because it's all about 98.6 to mouth.

We take our time.

You should let them know that they're on 98.6 to mouth.

You're on 98.6, The Mouth.

I have so many ideas.

Magical evening.

Magical evening from The Mouth.

98.6, The Mouth.

I'm so excited about this.

Are you still there?

Yes.

All right.

Well, I want to make sure who you talk to.

The younger gal, dark hair, blonde highlights, right?

Yes.

Angie, were you at the bar?

Do you know it was Angie that was at the bar?

Yeah, it started with an A.

It might have been Andy.

That was her.

All right.

Hold on one second.

Okay.

One second, David.

Okay.

You just call me David.

David.

It's funny because I introduced myself as Bob Johnson or something like that.

When I said David, when I supposedly picked up the phone, what did you think?

He doesn't know how to hear grown-ups.

Asshole.

Fucking asshole on the mouth.

He's oblivious.

98.6.

Wait, no, 98.6, I'm sorry.

Is the chatster here after the split?

You know what, we're going to have to do something about chat room, I don't know.

The warrior's working on that, isn't he?

I don't know.

We'll figure something, I'm sure, wink, wink.

Don't worry, it'll be ready, it'll be in place by...

Yes, it will.

Yeah, it will.

Any second now.

Any minute.

This is Robin, how can I help you?

Oh, I need to talk to Angie.

To who? Angie?

She's not here right now, she already left for the day.

Can I take a message?

Well, she was the one who refused my question.

Who refused your what?

The person who refused my gesture.

I called her, said I wanted her, and the person spilled the coffee all over me.

Okay, hold on.

Where were you sitting at?

Sitting at the restaurant when this happened.

Sitting right by the bar.

By the bar?

Okay, let me grab her then.

Just a second.

Okay, hold on.

Back out, man.

The case is black on a Thursday night.

Can you believe that?

Back out.

That's funny.

Yeah, wow.

Oh, no.

Oh, not that.

Wah.

Straight downhill on that server.

Yeah.

Because KDK isn't even half the man Blackout is.

KDK doesn't know the truth about Blackout.

We do hear him in the 8.6 amount, though.

Yeah, and the truth is that he's a good guy.

He's gonna tell you the truth is he's dead already.

Uh-huh.

Go to the Blackout site, see if you can find him.

Nope.

We eliminated Blackout.

Okay.

Or did we?

It's kind of a conspiracy.

You can't really be sure.

Uh-uh.

You can be sure about is that the mouth is the best internet radio station,

the best thing to hit.

Live prank calls, since, you know, live prank calls itself.

Sliced bread and shit.

Should we keep holding here, or should we just call it a...

Yeah, just hang up. It's not going anywhere anyway.

Hang on, let me clear the line here.

And here we are.

Joop, thank you very much for calling in, my brother.

Great call, we had a great time.

I'm really excited about Friday night.

Is tomorrow night a go? You think maybe next week.

Do you need time?

Um, what was that?

Are you going on tomorrow night or are you waiting until next Friday?

I'm going on tomorrow night.

Oh, look at that, man.

See, it's on, man.

Tomorrow night will be the official first night of 98.6.

You can avoid you.

On 98.6, the mouth.

98.6, the mouth.

All right, man.

My brother, man, we will catch you soon.

All right.

Thank you very much.

I'll talk to you later.

All right, man.

All right, later.

You have a good rest of that show.

Oh, yeah, man.

It's a great night.

Thank you so much for being a part of it, sir.

All right.

You're welcome.

All right.

Absolutely, sir.

So, yeah.

Yeah, dude.

An exciting night indeed with the new arrival of 98.6 MF.

There it is.

What was that?

Oh, cool.

You can do that?

I didn't know that.

Wow.

Look at that.

Ted thinks it's a joke.

I think KDK says he'll put, I'm keeping my Thursday night because that's obviously the

most popular line in the history of internet prank culture now.

We're bringing out the chat Nazi, too.

Yeah.

I don't know.

Do you think she'll come through with it?

We've been talking.

Klona's been trying to smooth over a few people.

I don't know if Neo is one of them, but we really need to see if we can bring Neo over.

I don't think she's getting the type of love that she deserves over at PCU.

Not that we're split yet.

We're still officially with PCU until, I guess, until Monday morning.

Monday, 8 o'clock a.m.

That's when it's official.

We got that already, Mr. X.

Don't worry, man.

I can play it, actually.

I have it right now.

You want to hear that one?

It's actually a promo for our first contest

that we are going to be giving out a new toll-free line,

which is going to be the apex for a contest we're doing

where the 1,000th caller to our toll-free line

will win a humongous prize that we can't even talk about yet, ladies and gentlemen.

Man, I'm like coughing up a storm tonight.

This is fucking nuts.

I have no idea where he sent that to.

Son of a bitch.

Hang on, let me try to find it here.

who's echoing there dammit i do not allow you to echo on this show 98.6 no i don't know trying

to find this music here hang on folks uh bear with us okay shit found it okay here it is the

new bump the the second bumper for 90 we got 20 calls and as you know one call equals a billion

people which means 20 billion people were offended by this 98.6 no see is that easy man we have all

All the production, thanks to EarthDog, has been created already.

Our official, I'm hoping he comes over.

Thank you, EarthDog.

I'm not 100% sure.

Milkman was, I'm assuming, Milkman, you let him know about this already, the plan?

I mean, you said EarthDog was a sure thing.

Yeah, I did.

I briefed him earlier.

I agree with EarthDog that he made our two bumpers already for us.

And really quick timing, literally, I mean, we had this meeting today.

We had the conference call.

Literally, you know, we talked on Skype.

uh milkman i mr x here was uh i was already here uh he made the drive over um and and it's not that

long of a drive i guess but still a pretty long drive and uh jeep also called us as soon as you

got out of school yeah and we made the decision 90 about 98.6 the mouth and uh earth dog was right

there on top of things i let her know look you know this is going down we need your help in on

we need these two things and sure enough he did it so there it is everybody 98.6

Mr. X, you want to make a comment real quick?

He's a trooper.

Mr. X doesn't want to talk now.

Mr. X is all nervous and shit.

All right, fine, that's fine.

All right, he doesn't have anything to do with anything, though.

He's just trying to say neutral right now.

That's understandable.

Is he high?

Probably, yeah.

I'm not sure.

I wouldn't know because I don't do that stuff.

I don't do drugs, so I don't know.

Loser.

The Warrior is reporting that Hamburglar is already asking for the link to the new IRC.

I'm sure Warrior will make that available

as soon as we know what it's going to be

everybody, so be tuned

by the end of the week and be sure to visit

98.6themouth.com

and you can get all the information you need

right there, 98.6themouth.com

everybody, be sure to

set that on your home page

so that you don't miss anything

KDK says he's on vacation

starting tomorrow, KDK you know

I wanted to say while Jeep was on the phone

you can be a part of

of 98.6 the mouth if you're willing to follow a few rules um and if we have space for you i mean

if honestly right now we have some openings still in the afternoon times on wednesday and

tuesday and you're more than welcome to warm up for me before my show so uh there it is you know

for some reason uh clone doesn't come through then maybe uh we'll invite him i'm kidding

we know we're back you're gonna be fine you're gonna be flying clone don't worry sir for the

the confidence, man. I'm sorry.

My bad. Brandon Vegas. I'm going to kick

KDK's ass. Where will these people

go? Where will Brandon Vegas go? Where will

Gangrene go? Where will people like the dead go?

Will he be a fan of the mouth? I do not

know. We're hoping Neo comes over

to the mouth with us.

She can have any night she wants. That's open.

Oh, the dead's a big time Madhouse

fan. You know, I really know the dead's

going to be with us.

He didn't get much love from Dr. Lego.

It got kind of booted off his show.

Maybe we'll even give

We'll give the dead his own show.

We have the fortitude.

We have the financial independence now.

With the announcement that we haven't even made yet,

we have the financial independence that we're going to be able to.

Here's what the announcement is.

Go ahead and go to 98.6demoff.com and click on the Contact Us link right there.

If you want to show, our contest right now is,

and I'm going to make this announcement right now.

Here's the contest.

contest we are offering uh five hundred dollars worth of equipment that includes a laptop uh with

all the software you need installed we include two headsets and speakers and we also include um

a lot of software um that you will need to make a show we're going to hook you up anybody out there

who wants to do a show that thinks they have it get in touch with us at 98.6 themouth.com

and um right there we we have compiled five hundred dollars worth of equipment for you to do a show

from your home.

All you need is BroadbandStreamDSL

or Kale or something like that.

Let us know you're interested.

The winner, the best of the best,

will be offered that package so they can

make their own show. It's going to be awesome.

We've put it together.

Saigon just announced he's gay in the chatroom.

Saigon just announced he's gay in the chatroom, so there it is.

Really. He said he had a boyfriend.

Yeah, he did.

Oh boy, that's

some real news there.

Imagine that. Everybody, we haven't announced another

This has got such an emotional night.

It's like a soap opera here, man.

Breaking news.

Doot, doot, doot.

On 96 The Mouth.

It's like the last episode of MASH here tonight, everybody.

The announcement being that Saigon is gay.

Self-admitted here on 98.6 The Mouth News.

98.6.

Sidekick took his turn every single combination of the website.

It's so fucking easy, man.

Milkman's already posted in the chat room.

98.6 The Mouth.com.

It is not that bad.

M-O-U-T-H, everybody.

96.98.6themouth.com.

Earth Dog is...

I thought you said .net.

Yes, .net also, though.

We got them both.

.net.com and .cc also.

That's...

I'm sorry.

What about .org?

No, not .org.

You can't get a .org.

You know that.

You know better than that.

If we're not for profit, maybe we get .org.

Did we apply for .info also?

I like .gov.

That'd be great.

Little Evil Neo says,

Fuck it, fuck it all.

All you motherfuckers can go kiss my white, fat, blarging cottage cheese ass.

I don't know what the hell that's all about.

But there it is.

Anyway, more pranks.

Let's try one more prank, and I'm going to take a break,

and we'll come back and continue with our special announcements.

The toll-free line, though, is now open.

The 98.6 is the month line.

I just thought I should warn you all.

This is Neil speaking.

I just thought I should warn you all that I'm about to go apeshit on some people

and start a kicking spree if the retardation in the chat either lessens or stops completely.

Too late.

I think our first victim.

Go chat not the guy that we love, Neal.

Our first victim is Saigon, already kicked.

Saigon, will you go on the Howard Stern Show and sit in the Robo Spanker, Neal?

Very, very tasteful.

We have a call from the beautiful state of Illinois.

Hang on, everybody.

Mr. X's mom.

98.6 the mouth.

You're on the air.

Yeah, hi.

Hi, I'm loving the website, man.

Hey, what's up, Andy?

How you doing, brother?

It's great.

I'm sorry you had to find out, you know, on the air.

Yeah, but now I'm looking at the website and, like, how much you guys have invested in and everything, and it's just awesome.

It's just fucking awesome, dude.

I mean, anybody can go to it.

Yeah, I'm really excited, too.

I know.

I'm going to enter the contest, and maybe, you know, I think I probably have the inside track,

but I'll win the computer and all the accessories, and then I'll have a show, too.

I'm really excited about it.

Andy, it's a long time, long overdue.

Any news on how's the weather up there in Illinois?

It's cold.

Good.

Good for you.

That's generally what happens up here.

It gets cold.

It went down to 50-something this week, and it was very cold for us.

Could George Clooney hear me?

Can George Clooney know I'm not George Clooney?

That's who you have sitting next to you, right?

Do I win anything for guessing George Clooney?

You don't get George Clooney because it's not George Clooney.

That is not right.

See, it's not George Clooney.

Because if it's Mel Gibson, we could have some Jew talk.

Not Mel Gibson either, man.

I don't associate it.

I'd like to hear Mel Gibson debating Lego on Jews.

Yeah, that would be great.

Mel Gibson hates Jews.

Yeah.

So, wow, three months of planning, and this is what you came up with.

Yeah.

This looks like you spent, you know, years on it.

It does.

You know, I'm amazing, but you know what?

When you have the heart and fortitude to do something groundbreaking for Internet radio,

you just go for it.

I quit my job just for this.

It's amazing, you know?

And it sounded like I was depressed at times.

I even had a big explosion with the way I was talking to Zola on Lego.

It was all the stress of trying to get this deal to go down.

And when it finally went down, I can finally say this much.

So this is what you were working on whenever I went and took a piss break.

You were working on this, right?

Every time he went to get a beer or a piss break, I was working in the background trying to...

And then you were probably, you know, with Athena's family being like a Greek shipping magnus and everything,

you were probably going to tap into those funds too, huh?

Gave it away, bro.

Gave it away.

I know, yeah.

I gave it away, yeah.

I should have kept that from you, but yeah, it's exactly what happened, dude.

It's exactly what happened.

Three months of planning, and now you can see the website yourself, man, 98.6themout.com.

I don't understand what the big fucking problem is with it.

I like the flash thing in the beginning when you get to the website,

and it has pictures of you, like, in a superhero outfit, and you're masturbating a chick.

Yeah, that took a lot of planning.

There's this thing on there, everybody.

Don't listen.

Everybody go for yourself and check it out, 98.6themout.com.

Or .net, whatever you want.

Andy, what are your plans?

When are you coming back down to Orlando here to the 98.6 studios?

Maybe this summer I'll go to the 98.6 compound.

That would be awesome.

Yeah, I'll actually start my real job inside the month.

Right now I'm working at the UPS.

Ooh, a real job.

That's awful.

A real job, man.

So, yeah, well, I'm going to do the sheet metal shit.

That's our plan.

Are you going to be cutting sheet metal?

Yeah, well, I took a test, and I ended up out of 400 people on the list, I'm number 7.

That's good.

I know, right?

That's good.

That's the top 2%.

A man with their skills can make it like that.

Number 7.

No, the top 2% are the people that are at 98.6, the mouth dot.

Come on.

They both go there.

You know what I mean.

98.6 is the mouth.

Yeah, I went to dot, like, what was it, NED, like the Netherlands or some shit?

NE.

NE, yeah.

That's how I got there.

That's the Warriors.

years. He got the NE site

out of the Netherlands. He got the deal.

I got the .com through Yahoo and

Milkman. I got the .net

through, I forget what it is, something

over there, Virgin Islands. I think it's .vi

or something like that. He's got the,

I don't know, but it all goes to

the homepage, 98.6themouth.com.

Yeah, well, I'm real excited

and I don't even know how I'm going to be able to sleep

tonight. I'm glad I took a night

off work to listen to this great announcement

and it's probably going to change the

face of the planet. Excellent, man.

And, you know, we should get into Korea.

Maybe we could make them laugh, and then they would calm down.

You know what?

Maybe 98.6andup.com could do something for the whole world.

I know who's sitting next to you.

It's Kim Jong-il.

It is not Kim Jong-il.

I wish.

It is not Hugo Chavez either, sir.

Although I've tried.

I tried.

Kim Jong-il.

Well, I'm working on my submission to the contest,

and then also the part of the page with the other stuff.

I'm looking at that, too.

It's great.

Okay.

Yeah, really, with you in mind, I put that part in there.

You always mention that in the show.

You can have links to free porn, too.

Do that next, and then it'll be a winner.

Hopefully that's going to be Mr. X's forte, perhaps.

I don't know.

Wow, is it Ron Jeremy?

Not Ron Jeremy, no, no, but you're getting warmer.

You're getting much warmer in terms of popularity.

I've taken enough guesses, so I better go out the phone.

All right, brother.

All right, Annie, peace out, my brother.

Take care.

We're going to talk to you again.

Yeah, yeah.

All right, bro.

God damn it.

Hey, Carlito.

Who was that, Milkman?

I'll kill you.

I'll gut you.

No, that was clone burping, not me.

Bullshit.

I wanted to find out if you could play that file I sent you, man, because I want to make

a dedication.

Make a dedication?

Go ahead.

What kind of music do you need?

The file that I just sent you.

The file.

Oh, God help us.

All right, let's see what this is all about.

Fuck you, Milkman.

Trying to blame me.

Milkman called you out, man.

Man, you got to do something here at 98.6themouth.com.

Millman got scolded by KDK Saturday.

And last night, too, I heard it.

Or Wednesday.

Yeah, last night.

No more of that, though.

No more of that.

Madgo says 98.6 is a free FM station and the mouth was paid $30 million.

Not quite there.

No, we're not that lucky.

But I'll tell you what, it's compensation enough.

enough uh hawk fan is just begging for a link to the new station i've told she's 98.6 the mouth.com

is that fucking easy is it that hard is it that hard who the hell is this 98.6 the mouth you're

on the air hello hello how are you doing hi hi um i was trying to um spell that god-awful name

of the radio station 98.6 the mouth.com sir or ma'am um okay because i'm i'm a new listener

and I'm really interested in, you know, switching over.

You guys sound like you've got to do that.

Hi, Ted.

Is that Sivian?

I think it's Siobhan.

No, could you really?

Siobhan on the air, you know, I totally was not expecting this already.

Could you just spell it for me once?

Because I have a pencil right here, and I want to listen,

but it's really hard to spell.

Have your eye out.

Hey, why not if Ted wants a spot?

The number nine, the number eight, the number point.

Wait, wait, hold on, hold on.

98.6, the mouth.

No, you've got to tell us.

The mouth.com.

98.

Point six, the mouth.com.

What comes after the eight?

Six comes after eight.

Do you not know what a 98.6 is?

No.

You've got eight and then point six.

Now, hold on a second.

It's not an integer.

You don't have to be hurtful towards me.

Hello?

It sounds like you're blowing through a tube.

Hello?

That's multiple plus cash.

How do I do that?

That's Card Master.

I can hear his hearing aids squealing.

What's going on with the 98.6 the mouth phone?

Card Master's hearing aids squealing, man.

That's him on the phone.

It's not a legal domain.

What the fuck is that?

Is that Frag Mr. coming in on his cruise ship?

I've got a 9 and I've got an 8.

What's the next character?

point

that's not legal

in a domain name

of course it is

dot com

you know

like dot

98 dot

you're pulling my chain

98.6 them up

dot com

sir ma'am

you know

I really

we have a bad

connection here sir

I don't appreciate

your

your cunning

attempt to trick me

I don't understand

I don't know

who put you up

to this kid

no

you're god awful

and evil

I don't have to

stand for this

and you don't have

any respect

for your elders. Your mother.

Hey. Hey. Hey, hey. Respect.

Respect me, woman. Look here.

Sit down. On your knees.

No. On your knees, I said

now. Do it. You know, show me that

pretty, show me that pretty mouth.

You're going to fail if you can't spell it.

Show me that pretty mouth. What will you do

for the mouth? Tell me.

98.6 TheMouth.com

Oh my god.

I don't know.

We don't have time for so-cars.

98.6 TheMouth.com

It's all KDK's fault

Who the fuck was that?

I don't know

Ertago's pranking the pedo man

Was that Ted?

I have no idea who that was

I think it was Ted

Using Frank Master's phone

Because I could hear the hearing aid squealing

Yeah, thank god

Sounded like Siobhan

You know, it sounded like Siobhan at first, right?

Yeah, Mr. X is saying yes.

Teflon said it sounds like Phil Henry's voice.

That's so true.

Very true indeed.

What's going on?

Sid Haig, I do so many calls.

KDK does a lot of calls.

You think so?

I don't know.

Milkman, what do you think?

Do you think KDK does a lot of prank calls?

Okay.

Clay is asking how I can run any radio station with all that bad feed with the mic and the phone.

That wasn't me.

That was obviously our caller.

It was a collar problem.

That was coming from the collar.

Killer P says he doesn't blame Carlito for leaving after all that shit Zolar and Lego gave him.

That's true.

I mean, we will address that soon enough.

Soon enough, we will address that.

We need to take a break, everybody.

And then after that, we're going to do some more prank calls.

I really need to take...

Hey, you never did play my request.

What was that?

I requested you to play the file that I sent you and let me do a dedication.

But I can't find it.

Hang on, let me see here real quick where I could find it.

Dude, look in your Trillium folder.

All right, all right, all right.

Here I go.

Just hit execute on the download.

I lost it.

I closed it.

Oh, Jesus.

You said it on AIM, right?

Yeah.

Just go to the download folder.

I'm working on it.

Look under Milkman.

We have another call on the 98.6 amount phone.

Okay, now give me the title of it.

Let me send it to you.

No, just give me the title of it, sir.

Sir Milkman.

Yeah, right-click on there.

Right-click on the artist.

That's right-click on artist.

It is stuck.

You gonna answer it?

I don't...

Ah, ah, damn it.

Ah.

All right, hang on.

I'm answering it.

This better not be this...

Hello.

98.6, the mouth you're on the air.

Yo, man, it's Bubba Johnson, man.

I was in the chat room.

Yeah.

Oh, man, I'm trying to spell that damn domain name, but it's hard, man.

You know what?

Sorry.

You know, it's purposely...

It's like a litmus test almost.

You know what I mean?

You know what a litmus test is?

Yo, man, I was held back in the third grade.

Ray, don't be talking shit to me, boy.

You know what a litmus test is, boy?

I know what a litmus test is.

It's about what I'm about to do to your ass.

Yeah, well, honestly, it's a test to keep people like you from being able to access 98.6.

What do you mean, people like me?

You know, you people.

You?

What do you mean, you people?

You people, man.

You stink.

Man, you a racist, little white boy.

You got some feedback there, but honestly, you know, the last time that the black race...

All right, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

All right, I'm not going to go there, all right.

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

All right, go ahead, black man.

Now, I want to go to this website, right?

I got my Internet Explorer up.

I'm going to start typing right now.

All right, here we go.

He still uses IE.

You can't exit with Internet Explorer.

98.6.

We don't support Internet Explorer.

Mouth.com.

Here you go.

Say, the Internet Explorer.

Oh, geez.

This is like my job all over again.

I can't do this.

I get paid for this for $10.50 an hour.

The most likely causes are you are not connected to the Internet.

Now, I know that's a straight-up lie because I'm in the chat room.

You know what I'm saying?

Have you unplugged the power cord going into your cable modem, sir?

No, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

Make it show delete three times.

The website is encountering problems.

See, that's what I'm talking about.

Your website does have a problem.

Ain't getting nobody to spell it.

98.6 them out.com.

It's only accessible with Firefox 2.0.

All head.

Y'all crazy white people.

Y'all need to change the name.

A new beta version of Firefox.

You obviously need to get Firefox.

You have to change the name so a brother can spell it.

Nobody's going to spell 98.6themouth.com even if they go to college.

Go download Firefox 2.0, sir.

That easy.

Then you can.

All right, I'm going to ask Lakeisha to help me.

Okay, well, good for them.

I'll talk to you later, but change that name.

Let me ask you a question.

Where exactly can you get a computer with credit like that, like you people have?

How do you know what my credit is like?

I hear your voice.

A black man got bad credit?

I hear your voice.

Of course a black man always has bad credit.

A black man got bad credit.

A black man always has bad credit.

Do you go to Rent-A-Center?

Is that where you get a computer like that, Rent-A-Center?

That's where I went to Rent-A-Center, the same place I found your mama.

Oh, motherfucker bitch.

That's fine.

98.6 The Mouth is open-minded, sir.

So go open-minded, except when a black brother calls in.

Whatever, man.

There's never been a black man on 98.6 The Mouth.

You're the first one to be on.

That's because it don't exist.

It does exist.

It's so true.

Even you know it, Mr. Black Man from California.

98.6 in my mouth is in full effect.

And you know there's a lot of black people in California.

Not in your part of California.

There's a couple.

There's a couple, yeah.

That's right, and all two of us are going to kick your ass.

Yeah, right.

I know one named Rodney King.

We'll bring the boat keys on.

O.J. Simpson.

Well, he moved to Florida.

Anyway, I digress.

Yeah, that's right.

You digress because you...

Yeah, I know.

It just pisses you off.

Don't make me use the same word up in here.

All right, we can agree to disagree, black man.

But like I said, 98.6amount.com.

Go ahead and upgrade to Firefox 2.0.

Restart your computer and give me a call back, all right?

All right, I'll do what you say, brother man.

All right, good luck there, man.

And disable your firewall, too.

All right, I hope you got that last part.

And go to the website and enter the contest.

Yes, even people like Ted himself, the venerable Ted, are able to enter the contest.

so that they can join us.

Excuse me.

Coughing.

98.6themouth.com.

It's a great time here, everybody.

Celebration time.

Come on.

We need to take a break.

Celebrate good times.

Come on.

Did you find the song that I sent you yet, bro?

Yes, I did.

Let's play that now.

Fine.

Here we go.

I want to make a quick face for this song.

This here's a rubber duck.

You've got a copy on me.

Please come on.

This one goes out to our good buddy, Andy.

Yeah, 10-4, Big Ben.

Sure, for sure.

By golly, it's clean.

Clear to Flagtown.

Come on.

The Big 10-4 there, Benny.

Oh, this is that Convoy song, man.

You do understand that he's not driving a truck anymore, though.

I miss this song.

This is a great song.

I haven't heard this in years, man.

Anyway, everybody, we're going to go ahead and take a break real quick.

I just want to give out the information to contact us.

If you're using AOL Instant Messenger, Madhouse Radio, or 98.6 The Mouth on AOL Instant Messenger,

Yahoo Instant Messenger, Madhouse, PC Radio, well, and I'm not even signed in on that.

I guess I am in that.

But that will be replaced by 98.6 The Mouth as well on Yahoo Messenger.

And you can also reach us at 98.6themouth12 at hotmail.com.

And, yeah, the chat room that we're using now, I guess, is going to be over at PCU.

So that's irc.lazy-net.de.

Join the 98.6themouth.com chat room.

We're also in the PCU chat room for now.

And you can also visit us at madhouselive.com.

but more importantly, the brand new 98.6themouth.com.

Excellent, huh?

Great.

We're all excited here.

It's going to be a great night.

We're taking a break now.

We'll be back in five minutes listening to Madhouse Radio on 98.6themouth.com

and PC Radio, I guess.

We're done.

That's right.

98.6themouth.

All I know, he had me set up and had my plan A.

I'm going to do like a convoy in the night.

8.6 the mouth, the mouth.

Right here, he's not.

Radio will be back right after this.

Smoke some weed.

Jesus is here.

Jesus has arrived.

There it is.

Ian Green believes in 98, 96 the cock.

It's 98.6 the mouth.

That's a funny thing.

We did originally talk about a name that included the word cock.

But we thought people would become confused.

so we did not put in that we made it 98 yeah too much cock on pcu yeah too much of that

cock humor on pcu that's to be distracted by the cock that's right the whole point of it

that's right that's right we're getting ready i'm not gonna be kissing my boyfriend on saturday

night exactly a welcome change indeed no more of that we are strictly republicans here on 98.6

to the mouth and you support the Republican Party.

Well, I'm Green Party, man. Sorry, dude.

Oh, okay. Well, that's fine.

I'm Democrat, so...

Everybody's like, fuck you, man.

All right, we're not Republicans. Sorry. I'm sorry.

That's the big lie of tonight is we're not Republicans.

I'm sorry.

Okay, anyway, Lonesome Loser calls.

Lonesome Loser numbers, anyway.

Let me see here.

Which window is...

How's Mr. X hanging up over there?

He's fine. He's in the cut.

Whatever that means

He's in it though

We've got Big Mouth Entertainment

I think we need some

Open promotions or something like that

Let's see what Big Mouth Entertainment does

And see if we can't maybe book them

For something for our new stream

98.6 The Mouth

Here it comes everybody

Next prank call of the night is coming in

We waited too long to call Dallas, everybody.

Plus 5, 2, plus 6, plus 3, dot com.

Okay.

8.6.

Not 8.6, the math.

Mike Casey and the Merge Band, the best in live old school funk, jazz and blues.

What the hell?

Jazz and blues.

Let me try to hit zero.

Zero is not a valid answer.

Oh, you bitch.

I hate you, phone bitch.

She had a cute voice, though.

Yeah, I heard you enjoying yourself.

Milkman, what do you think about that woman's voice?

I like it, man.

Very smooth.

Very good.

That's how we do it.

4 plus 5, 2 plus 6, 3 plus 5.

I get it.

I'll tell you what, Ralph has a good voice, too.

We'll have to get Sweet Gifts to do a promo for us.

All right, Milkman, what do you get if you add 9 plus 8?

17, right?

All right, what do you get if you...

What's the dividing factor?

Well, no.

Then you add 17 by 6, right?

98.6, so 9, 8, 6.

Let's say you add 9 and 8, and then whatever that is with 6.

What's that?

17, 23, right?

Yeah.

And 23 is 2 plus 3, which is 5.

But, yeah, what's that tell you?

Where are you going with that?

I don't know.

I just was wondering how I can make 98.6 into one number.

And you come up with 5.

You ever do that with numbers?

You ever just start adding them until you're left with a one-digit number?

That's numerology, dude.

Yeah, you got to think about that, too.

Nah, I have this thing with letters I do.

Letters, yeah, man.

It's all, um, that's the things that we do.

Jesus, God.

Damn, uh, pollution.

We need to move on, everybody.

Actually, I've got a weakness as far as numbers go right now.

We don't have much support from Lonesome Loser for 98.6themouth.com.

I thought he had his own show on here.

What's going on, man?

He's getting ready for his show, dude.

He just messaged me early and told me he's already got 10 different playlists set up.

Yeah, really?

Okay, well, that's good.

I know he's been on iTunes all day.

He's made a lot of money.

He's put a lot of money into it.

I've got five working on five more.

Yeah, that's awesome.

That's awesome.

It's going to be great.

Our music is going to be provided by Lonesome Loser here, 98.6themouth.

Our own music producer is going to be Lonesome Loser.

He's coming up with some original songs, too, for us, all our jingles.

And some original music here we're going to have on 98.6 MF,

all being produced by Lonesome Loser.

Earthduck, I'm assuming, is going to be on.

Now, will the stream information and stuff be given out Monday?

98.6 MF.com has two streams, a 400-slot 64K stereo

and a 400-slot 24K mono stream.

stream. They will both be

available. They're both

going to be announced on 98.6

TheMouth.com on Monday.

Monday morning by 8 a.m.

That should be up, if not earlier.

So be sure to watch 98.6

TheMouth.com.

I know you're excited.

Do we have any more numbers here?

Get your stream rippers ready.

I know. You know who we haven't

called in a while? Our good friend.

You know who I'm talking about. Sam.

Sam the Donut Man. It's been like four weeks

as we talk to the fucker, dude.

Maybe we'll come up...

Oh, but you know what?

It's 1-0-6.

He's not at work.

Never mind.

Oh, excuse me.

Carlito.

Yes, sir.

What's going on?

The Warrior had an excellent suggestion

of who we should call, man.

The Warrior, go ahead.

You're in studio.

We have completely ignored you.

Try at the top.

We should do some wake-up calls.

Wake-up calls to London, England.

Let's try that.

Let's see who we have in England

that I can pull up from the Madhouse archives,

the 98.6 archives.

Guys, where do we go with this?

Where is Lonesome Losers?

I just pulled out a bunch of nose hairs.

Nice.

One man's nose hair is another man's prank call victim.

London.

No results for London.

Bullshit.

Try UK.

Tweezy nose hairs, too.

What about Australia?

That sucks.

G'day, mate.

How do you do from down under?

I know what's going on.

Lonesome Loser changed his name to Anti-Matter and I can't search.

What's that thing?

Can't search the archives that way if he does that.

So, fuck.

That sucks.

Gotta do something here, gentlemen.

We are not in the...

Welcome back, lovebirds.

Yeah, hang on.

Look in here, look in here.

Hawaiian Brines Billiards Professional Shop in Honolulu, Hawaii.

Didn't they just have an earthquake there two weeks ago?

Yeah, Hawaiian Brines.

Heard of them.

That's where I got my pool cue when I was in Hawaii.

Wow.

Good.

Are you serious?

I didn't know you went to Hawaii.

Look at that.

Yeah, I've been like five or six times.

Awesome, dude.

How many listeners do we have on the show right now?

Yeah, we're doing pretty strong right now.

We're actually beating out the competition, so that's good.

All right.

Did we have over 100 listeners?

That's amazing.

All right, we're going to try Hawaiian Brian's Billiards.

That is going up.

We'll try Hawaiian Brian's Billiards.

No need to panic.

You know what?

Our listener numbers just went down, Carlito.

We have 98.6 listeners on the mouth.

98.6 listeners on the mouth, everybody.

Exciting times these are that we live in, everybody.

right back with the next prank call of the night as soon as i find the right song to play

and he's taking out here it goes 98.6 to mouth.com doesn't know what always happens second half of

the show yeah just the numbers stop working what is it with that kind of luck it's just a bad

stigma of us not being officially on the mouth yet i think what's the chat room saying kitty

is going to sleep that's fine yeah he maybe he's not happy um apple seed andy gives it two out of

of three stars for the website. Awesome.

Madgo says, message Carlito for your free

98.6 receivers. I got mine. It's

so slick. I don't know about the 98.6

receiver, dude. I don't know what you're talking

about. No such thing. There's no

98.6 receiver. Although

I do have to announce that we have the

98.6 The Mouth

player. It's a special player

that is optimized to hear

98.6 The Mouth and all our

content in the best possible way.

Right, Mr. X?

Hey, you know what I thought of? Yes.

Our next call, we ought to call and find out, do a wake-up call to Charlie Patton, the official phone baptizer.

Hey, man, where's his number at?

I'll send it to you right now.

Hurry up.

We've got to call the phone guy.

That's right, the guy we had last week, everybody, if you weren't listening to Madhouse on Madhouse Radio, that is.

We've got a gentleman to throw his cordless phone into a tub full of water

and the hopes that it would heal him from his supposed cancer of the neck,

which he actually has.

What a dumbass.

He's actually had, I think he's one of those habitual liars

that is always saying, oh, I got cancer, oh, I had a heart attack.

They've said he's already said.

He's got a heart contract, dude.

He's had four different heart bypasses, right,

in the last four years or something like that

because he keeps telling people he's sick or whatever.

Oh, yeah, he's had one every six months here in the last couple years.

years essentially he's a guy who tells people he's sick just he's sick just for attention so um

where's that number man we gotta call that waiting on you dude okay here it comes now

we're waiting on you on the mouth all right there we go charlie patton in nebraska here we go with

that on 98.6 the mouth if i can find it again i lost it here we go equals a billion people

which means 20 billion people were offended by this 98.6 the mouth person p's odb does not

Not him. He was alive when that song was made.

Mr. Patton, how are you, sir?

Good as hell, sir.

This is Pastor McCorders. I'm calling to check in with you.

Hold on a minute. Let me turn my TV off.

All right, brother.

Okay. I'm not going to...

What's the matter, brother?

I'm not going to hear you now. Go ahead.

I thought you were feeling better, brother, after the work we did last week. What happened?

Well, it came back. It's going down in my left kidney, and I'm losing my eyesight.

You're losing your eyesight? It's down to your left kidney now, sir?

When do you think you're going to go legally blind?

Well, the Jims can try to slow it down.

Okay.

And they said I probably, they really can't answer these.

It's working on my nerves.

I kept having this problem looking at, oh, God bless you.

How are you going into a real bright light room?

Right, light, that's right.

That's right.

Yes, yes.

Okay.

Okay, that is what happened to...

I understand, but what do you think it is that you did to God exactly that pissed him off to the point that he decided to do this to you?

Well, I didn't do anything to get any...

Did you covet your neighbor's wife?

No.

No, did you commit...

I don't do that thing.

Did you commit adultery? You can tell me the truth.

I only got one lady, and she's not married.

She's not married?

No.

So you're living in sin with her, then?

No, I'm not living in sin with her.

Did you play her organ, sir?

Excuse me, I think you're asking too many personal questions.

Well, I'm Father McCordus.

I'm trying to save you, but I'm thinking maybe this is the root of the cause.

You're living in sin somehow.

He hung up on me already.

Oh, man.

Ah, shit, I think I moved into it.

The funniest thing was his phone going dead.

That was a hazer.

Let me throw the phone in the water again.

Excellent call, man.

Yeah, but that was great.

All right, last week he threw his cordless phone into the fucking tub.

Interesting indeed.

Do we have any...

Auriok says,

Milkman's voice sounds like recorded voice clips.

We need to call someone before we call it a night.

We're going to call Crazy Fucker, see if he's around.

I haven't heard from him tonight.

I'm worried about him.

Yeah.

Fuck you.

You think we should call him then?

Yeah.

Well, he won't be there, but maybe we'll get his mom again.

Call that fucker.

We'll call...

We're going to have him talk to...

fucking bitch motherfuckers.

Call me back real quick

and give him a good night prayer.

Okay. Well, hang on. Let's just

see if we can get Crazy

Fucker to do it. I want to hear him talk to somebody.

And I want to take on what we're doing.

Oh, okay. Have Crazy Fucker

talk. Great.

...equals a billion people, which means

20 billion people were offended

by this.

98.6.

Prepare to enter standard orbit.

Current designated LF...

There's your fucker.

We're looking for you, man.

What the fuck?

That's a fucked up answering machine, bro.

Hurry up and call me back.

We're into the show.

We're waiting for you.

Hey, man.

What's going on with you?

Oh, sitting here listening to your show, man.

Oh, he's a call screener.

Dude, Jesus God.

What is on that answering machine?

Where'd you get that from?

Where'd I get that?

I get that from Star Trek.

Okay.

We've got to hack that.

Is that the original Star Trek or what exactly?

No, it was Star Trek, The Next Generation with Captain Picard.

Yeah, that's my favorite one.

And it was one of the Ensigns that was answering the communication around the planet LSD-6.

Okay.

And they went down to, no, actually it wasn't from that one.

It was from when the space station.

Anyway, hey, man, I've been listening to your show.

Anyway, I do that.

See, I get so many fucking phone solicitors calling me up, man.

Yeah?

Yeah, I put a new message on there a couple, three times a week.

Right, just to fool people a little bit?

Just to fuck with their heads.

Fuck them, yeah.

Give them something to smile about when they're calling your house harassing you, right?

Uh, yeah, it's like, you know, just part of the grand, uh, fantasy of life.

That's good.

Yeah, why have a boy?

I'm sorry, but we're not home right now.

P.G. Mickey, you know.

Yeah, it's gay. It's gay. It's gay. You get tired of it.

Let me ask you a question. What do you think about our whole split from PCU, 98.6themout.com?

Any ideas about that?

Well, I just love to think about that.

Who knows what Jill Rosenthal would say about that.

I have no idea.

Who cares?

Are you going to have to call Jill Rosenthal to see if she's going to like that or not?

I would have no idea.

I can't believe it.

That's amazing.

I'm going to steal her listeners.

Are you a fan of Jill?

No, I don't.

I try to listen to Jill, but it's like inevitably,

inevitably katie k always says something that pisses me off within the first 10 minutes of

trying to listen to his show so i fucking ring off and it's the same with that dude zolar

i try to listen to him too but within the first 10 minutes he says something that really

fucking offends me so i ring off of him why don't you talk like zola real quick what do you can't

Okay, is he imitable, do you think?

Well, okay, I try to talk like a tough guy from New York.

Okay.

Okay, yeah, yeah, he on there.

No, that's not it.

That's not it, no, no.

He on there.

No, that's not it either.

That's a redneck.

Yeah, okay, a tough guy, East Coast, New Yorker.

What do you mean we got a pocket car down?

Where the fuck do you think?

Dude, I've had my New Yorker, man.

and we don't talk to nobody we get with me.

No, that wasn't it either.

That sounds British.

I don't know, but I think that was Nunu.

That was a poor Englishman that got mugged in New York.

In New York.

He was a gutter, called for the police,

and the police come up and fucking kick him in the head.

That's what he gets for being a British guy in New York.

Sleeping in the street, yeah.

That's right.

The poor guy gets fucking mugged,

and then he's laying in the street,

eating the fucking pigs come up and beat his ass for fucking soliciting a sexual act yeah yeah well

you know what man you think we're going to succeed with 98.6 in the mouth of course man of course

good oftentimes uh most success comes through failure you know because it's all it's everything

is a fucking illusion on this planet dude everything is an illusion yeah it is it really is

Right now, we think it's only our egos that make us believe that we are even an individual being.

It really is. It's only our egos that are holding our lives together.

Everybody's ego is holding their life together.

That's all they live for is their damn ego. That's all they worry about.

24-7 these people worry about their ego.

Well, right. We've got these temporal animal bodies

And we've got this spark of consciousness that's divine and universal.

But when we're like this spirit in this animal body, and it's always a conflict with one another.

And, you know, and that's true about that, that, you know, the spirit in the flesh or enmity,

that's one of the things in the Bible that I believe is true.

Yeah.

But, you know, the Easterners put it a different way.

They say, you know, the Buddhists, they say that all suffering is caused by attachment

and that we're attached to our flesh.

When we're babies, you know, we're like in a kind of like an innocent state,

but yet we're still like doing these animalistic things like lunging onto our mother's nipples

with our lips to suck that life milk, that life milk out of our mother.

That's what I'm talking about, not life milk.

out of our mother's teat, and then, you know, our mother is, to get that milk fluid,

she's eating other living things.

It's all circle.

Yeah, this whole, if you take, you know, here's something that has just occurred to me, man.

Okay.

Is that this.

Testify.

You see a really beautiful woman.

You see a really fucking dynamite beautiful woman.

I mean, just physically perfect.

The hips, the waist, the beautiful breasts, everything, the legs, everything.

And she's just the most beautiful thing you've ever seen,

the most beautiful creation on the planet, right?

But then you realize that out of her beautiful butt comes these big turds,

and then you also realize that underneath that beautiful skin of hers

is all these organs like fucking guts and intestines and fucking lungs and a heart.

And you look at people and you start realizing that it's like beauty is really a fucking illusion, man.

Because underneath, you know, inside of the most beautiful people's bodies on the planet, man,

there's all this fucking pulsating fucking gooey shit.

And there's like sulfuric acid in the stomach that's melting whatever is consumed.

Yeah, but it's weak.

Huh?

It's weak.

It's weak, though.

It's not powerful.

Well, right.

But still, it's like what I'm saying.

You know, it's like it's just, see, that's it, man.

And it's this divine spark.

Yeah, there's something there, man.

It's this divine spark that's in us that.

It's from, I call it the mothership.

Yeah, yeah, that's right, man.

It's, it's.

You ever get up in the mothership?

Yeah, that's, yeah, it is.

It's like I, that's why I like to put that kind of like Star Trek shit on my fucking answering machine.

Because I like to like, I like to fantasize that I'm part of that shit.

You ever dream that, you ever dream that you're inside the, in Star Trek, in the Star Trek universe?

No, I do it in the day, I do it while I'm awake, man.

man. I got these Star Trek videos and I watch them over and over and over again. And then

I rewind it. I'll watch like a segment and then I'll rewind it and sometimes watch it

six more times. And I think that Gene Roddenberry, man, he was an inspired guy when he did all

that shit. And what you're seeing is the future, man.

He was a future thinker.

Yeah, yeah, you know, when he did that, them communicators, what are they?

They're fucking cell phones, man.

Yeah, exactly.

30 years later, they're realities.

Are you possibly thinking maybe you could do a show on 98.6 The Mouth?

Oh, shit, dude.

Dude, man, the Homeland Security Nazi motherfuckers would come and I'd say something that would, man, put you, you know, I mean, really, man, I think I'd lose it, man.

I think that these fucking fascists that are, these mafia motherfuckers that are holding our government away from us, they'd come and fucking, they'd assassinate me.

They wouldn't let a guy like me be on a fucking radio show, you know.

A lot of people would like to hear your show.

I think you'd be a great, valuable member.

If you ever think about it, even just a surprise show one day, the door's opening.

Man, people get so fucking pissed off.

You know, the fucking gangsters that rule this country, they wouldn't let me fucking do that shit.

And believe me, dude, they are fucking gangsters.

Even Alex Jones, man, the only place I get my news is from Alex Jones at PrisonPlanet.com.

And I'll tell you this, he said something yesterday, man, the shit that I've been thinking for the last six months.

He says that the Republicans are like the Gambino crime family and that the Democrats are like the Genovese crime family.

And he put it in that context.

And that's exactly who's hijacked this country, these fucking corporation war profiteers.

And they've raped the forest.

You ought to see, man, you ought to see what they did to the fucking forests on the west coast of this wonderful, wonderful fucking continent of ours, man.

They devastated the forests.

These fucking Weyerhaeuser Corporation, the biggest woodcutters in the world, have devastated the forests, man,

to the point where it's like now whole towns up in Washington State

are washing away every fucking wintertime when it rains

because they've taken all the trees.

They've clear-cut the trees off the entire hillside.

Clear-cutting the trees now.

Yeah, it's caused soil erosion so bad

where there's just hundreds of miles up in Washington State

that look like moonscapes.

That's sick.

They actually removed all the topsoil from the fucking ground, man,

and it's like they're turning, what they're doing, these motherfuckers,

they're turning this country into what's going to be like the Middle East,

you know, the sand over there.

It's the big desert.

Yeah, the big desert.

That's what happens when you remove the topsoil, man.

And you know what, dude?

The food, they've taken all the fucking farmlands

and they've turned it into these fucking gated communities for the yuppies and the motherfuckers,

rich foreigners that come over here and they buy up these farms, but yet they don't farm.

They just want a fucking place where they can get away from all the fucking people they've victimized.

Well, speaking of victimization, let me ask you a question.

Yes, sir.

How would you feel about a possible intervention now over the phone

with a young lady by the age of 18 named Sarah who has a drug problem in Colorado?

Sure, I'll talk to Sarah.

Tell Sarah.

Call Charlie, dude.

You know, Sarah, and she's a young girl.

She has a beautiful life ahead of her.

Hello?

Yeah, I'm here.

Are you there?

Yeah, I'll talk to any young person who's got a drug problem,

and I'll tell them, man, stay away from methamphetamine, man.

That's for sure.

I would.

I would for sure.

That's the worst one of them all, man.

You've got to see what methamphetamine is doing to the young people out here, man, in this state, dude.

It's like it's taking some of the brightest and most promising fucking young people

and turning them into prisoners or corpses, man.

Yeah, it's killing them.

It's a horrible thing.

It is.

It's literally killing them.

Yeah.

All right, man.

Well, hey, hang on the line.

We'll get that on for you right now, okay?

Don't go anywhere.

Crazy fucker and everybody else, it's crazy fucker with the next prank call of the night.

An intervention?

Hey, let me just preface what I just said.

Now, hey, it's none of my business what any fucking drug anybody does.

I'm a complete libertarian when it comes to what people do.

I feel that you should be able to take any drug you want to take.

But I'm just telling you, of all the drugs there is, the one to avoid,

the one that really will fuck you up if you mess with it is methamphetamine.

Right, that's the most dangerous.

That's the worst.

I'm smoking ice right now.

That's worse than taking all the others combined.

Clone says he's smoking ice right now himself.

Well, okay, let's see.

You tell Clone to keep smoking that shit,

and let's see six months from now if he'll still be smoking that shit, you know,

without some fucking kind of big tumors coming out of the side of his fucking head and neck or something.

All right.

I smoked it for a year and it only had a pimple.

Man, they make that meth.

Well, he ain't smoking methamphetamine, is he?

Because I don't know.

I think ice is that ice-concentrated cocaine or something.

Ice is crystal meth.

Oh, it is.

Okay, well, okay then, dude.

Keep smoking that shit.

Every day in six months from now, man,

I'd like to talk to you and ask if you've got any big fucking tumors

growing out of the side of your neck or something.

Yeah, listen to what Crazy Fucker's telling you.

He's been down that road.

he knows well i just know man i was in prison for seven fucking years with good percentage of the

dudes having fucking killed fucking people while fucking tweaking on methamphetamine hey uh well

let's call sarah her boyfriend's name is seth if she asked you who told you to call just say seth

said to call all right all right he's uh she got arrested with uh 17 pills of ecstasy this girl

So there it is.

Ever try that?

No, I've never been able to get around to rave and ravers.

Hard to get in there at your age.

I understand.

I'd like to.

I listen to rave music.

I like this Australian band called The Tribe.

You ever heard of The Tribe from Australia?

They play fucking rave music.

Can't say I have, but yeah.

All right, brother.

Hang on a lot for me, brother.

Okay, we'll be right back.

All right, anyway.

Oh, hey, let me ask you a question.

Okay, go ahead, go ahead.

How much are the prices of oranges in Florida per pound?

I have no idea.

98.6 cents.

98.6 cents?

Well, shit, out of here, dude.

They're almost $3 a pound for fucking oranges.

Yeah, that sucks.

A fucking half a gallon of orange juice is $5.

That's some bullshit.

Five bucks for a half a gallon of Florida fucking orange juice, dude.

Milkman, real quick, do we have, I was trying to call that second number.

Milkman, do we happen to have another phone card that we can use in an emergency here?

Because that other one is not working.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, I don't know if we killed it or what.

Hey, who's that girl Tuesday night that has a show on PC?

Little Evil Neo, who we're hoping is going to come over to the mouth.

Yeah, I caught her show like Tuesday night, but I never found out who she was because

she was all, she just kept cussing because her phone calls were getting busy.

Probably done getting a car break now, hold on.

She gets frustrated.

Oh, she's cute.

She's a little cutie, isn't she?

Yeah, you seen her picture?

No, I've never seen her picture, but I can pretty much determine what people look like

by hearing their voice.

Oh, yeah.

Because the spark is there, but.

Yeah.

I can tell, man, if people are good or evil by their voice, dude.

She definitely could be the mouth of the mouth.

She's good.

She's a good person.

I know that.

All right, brother.

I got another phone card here.

We're going to try it one more time.

Thank you so much.

Don't go anywhere, my friend.

We'll be right back.

Hey, if that doesn't go through, man, have him call Charlie.

Hey, I'm really honored you called me, man.

No problem, man.

We wouldn't have it any other way.

I feel like a fucking celebrity, dude.

And indeed you are.

The call from Carlito and Homegrown.

Yeah, and Mystery Man and 98.6ML.com.

Yeah, hey, I tried to get your web page up there, but I got that Internet Explorer shit.

And I guess you told that other dude that...

Firefox 2.0 just came out yesterday, I think it was.

Okay, now I can either get Yahoo, Firefox 1.0, Safari, or I've heard of it,

but I know it's not very well used, but a lot of people swear by it.

I guess it's an Apple program.

Is it? Safari is the Apple browser, is it not, Mr. Maddy? Would you know?

I don't know.

I've got an Apple computer that I'm using right now.

Try Firefox, man. Firefox is a great little program. You'll like it.

Right. That's what I have on my broken computer is Firefox.

Oh, no, man. We'll try Opera, then.

Yeah, I got... Hey, man, where should I buy a motherboard other than Tiger Direct?

Oh, shit. I don't know.

NewEgg.com.

It's called what?

NewEgg.com.

Okay, I'll check them out.

Check that out. They're a sponsor on 98.6 The Mouth.

Because I called up Firefox.

I mean, I called up fucking Tiger Direct where I bought my computer

and the guy just fucking laughed at me.

He just laughed at me, dude, when I told him that my computer broke down

nine days after the war and he was fired.

Yeah, that's bullshit, man.

Yeah, I mean, if the guy wouldn't have laughed at me, I would have bought a motherboard for him.

But the fucking motherfucker laughed at me, so I ain't gonna buy no motherboard for him, motherfucker.

People over there, you've got to respect the guys on the phone here, man.

Let me ask you this.

A computer's got a motherboard.

Why don't it have a father board or a sister board or a brother board?

Can you tell me that?

He's quick to get flunked.

Maybe that's the problem.

Yeah, it's got to have a brother board, a sister board, and a cousin board and uncle board.

The father ran out to get cigarettes.

I've got a mistress board.

Yeah.

All right, hang on.

We're going to call that guy.

We're going to call this druggie chick, all right?

All right.

All right, we're trying this again.

Yeah, nobody panicked.

Your name's Sarah?

Sarah, yeah, Sarah.

Friend, you're a friend of Seth, and she just got arrested with a bunch of ecstasy pills.

How much ecstasy?

There are 17 pills of X.

17 pills?

Yeah.

It's a felony for each pill.

What was their weight and their purity?

I don't know.

I don't know, brother.

I don't know what the weight and purity was.

You didn't get the lab report back yet, huh?

I have not yet.

I have not, no.

Okay, okay.

Jesus Christ, hang on, man.

You're killing me.

Hang on.

If you could send me some of those, I could get them analyzed.

I don't know how to find out, man.

He's got a lab here, everybody.

Hey, man, numbers don't work.

I don't know.

Hang on.

Sir, hang on.

Let me get these guys out of here.

Are you there, man?

Yeah, I'm here.

I can't get anything to work.

I'm trying to call the numbers.

They're not working.

Anyway, let me ask you.

How's everything?

Let me ask you something, man.

How's everything going down there in Florida, man?

I mean, it's not bad.

It's not snowing yet, huh?

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean.

Man, we're getting ready to snow up here where I am.

It's going to get fucking snowy here in about another three weeks.

Really?

Yeah, it's already almost down to freezing.

Oh, shit.

That part of town.

That's some shit right there.

Where exactly is that?

It's up in the mountains here.

It's up by the Oregon border.

Yeah.

It's up by northern, way northern California.

I don't know how they call that fucking San Francisco northern California.

That ain't northern California.

That's like central.

San Francisco is about 300 miles south of where I am.

Really?

So you're technically in as north of North Carolina gets, right?

About 50 miles from the Oregon border.

Wow, not bad, man.

Well, hey, brother, I'm going to let you go.

I'm going to wrap up things here, but thank you very much for the ride on, man.

Hey, do me a favor, will you?

What do you do?

Send you a number.

Give your girlfriend Athena a big kiss for me, will you?

I will.

Absolutely.

I'll take care of that tonight, man.

All right, dude.

You do that.

All right, my brother, man.

Peace out.

Tell her it's from the crazy fucker from California.

Oh, I don't know.

I'll give it to her again.

All right.

Hey, call me up any time you want.

Yes, sir.

You got it.

Love you, bro.

All right.

No problem.

Bye.

Look, man.

The phone card works.

What doesn't work is the phone number.

It says it can't be dialed.

Both of them.

I tried both of them.

Phone number doesn't work?

Yeah, maybe a bad Zerica.

But I got to get to bed, man.

It's almost 2 o'clock.

You know?

Man, we're running late.

It's almost 50 minutes.

50 minutes.

We got the 50 listeners just about right now.

But I'm saying we've been on for a while.

And I've got to get some sleep.

I've got to be up at 9 o'clock tomorrow.

Well, call Charlie back and give him a good night prayer then.

Ah, no.

We're calling it a night.

You need to take us out of here, man.

I really need to get to sleep.

I have tons of things we need to talk about.

And we still have the final bit of our special news for tonight.

I'm going to need to get through it.

You know what I mean?

People have been waiting all night for the final announcement.

That's right, man.

Well, that's right.

Take us out of here, brother.

Yeah, man.

And we had a great tonight in 98.6 The Mouth Madhouse Studios.

That's right, man.

You've witnessed the dawn of a new age of Internet radio, man.

Quality, high bitrate streams, tons of calls, lots of fun music.

You got it all right here on 98.6 The Mouth.

That's right.

I'd like to thank all our sponsors out there, especially Mr. Madman,

our wonderful master chat irc where he's at where you can come in and pop somebody's teeth out

bust him a knuckle and come back in shake hands when your band's been lifted if it ever gets

lifted also i'd like to thank dr on our final show tonight thanks a lot dr lego appreciate it

thanks for all you did also i'd like this that's right i'd like to uh also thank our very important

Gordon, recognizing sponsor, the man that realized the talent that when they would become the madhouse,

which would become the superpower house of the Internet, 98.6 the mile, KDK.

Whatever.

The Cerebro, the prank world, man.

We sure love you, KDK, and thanks a lot, man, for bringing us into this new era of prank callery.

Clone does not agree.

God bless you.

Also, I'd like to thank our new leader and master of the stream of the internet of hottest

prank called music, tunes, and entertainment on 98.6 The Mouth, Carlito, our fitness leader.

That's right.

98.6 The Mouth.

All hail.

That's right.

Up to Heil Hitler.

That's right.

We love you, Carlito.

There it is.

Thanks a lot, bro.

No problem.

I want to thank Clone Homebrew, The Warrior, also.

Go ahead.

Okay, I'd like to thank the lawyer also for joining us here in the satellite link in the party house room.

And I'd especially like to thank Sweet Kisses.

Thank you for them cookies.

And the milk was wonderful.

And thanks for the great numbers once again.

And everybody out there, thanks a lot.

And especially a big shout out and thank you and high five to the hardest working man in 98.5 the mouth.

98.6 the mouth.

Oh, man, Mr. Lonesome Lures are looking forward to those new playlists there

and the new rock and roll show coming out,

hosted by none other than the Lonesome Lure himself on 98.6 The Mouth,

right here on this fat channel.

That's right.

Soon to be announced.

98.6.

Also, I want to thank all of you listeners out there,

because without you, we'd be nothing.

We'd do it all for you.

All right.

We love you all.

All you people.

We pay every week just so you can come in here, have interactive entertainment,

and now for you to become a very big integral part of the hottest new web stream, 98.6 The Mouth.

Okay.

Go to our website, 98.6 The Mouth.com.

98.6 The Mouth.com.

Or .net or .info or any of the other ways out there that you can get there.

They all redirect to the same URL.

And our podcast.

See if you can get a show on there.

The Mouthcast

That's what we're calling it everybody

The Mouthcast

I'd like to thank everybody for listening

And especially our big fearless leader of this new stream

God bless you Carlito

Back to you sir

Back to me in the studio

Thank you very much

I'd also like to thank Mr. Mystery Man X

Thanks a lot for all your support

And helping us get this new show up on the air

And the stream on

And the new website

Thanks Mr. Mystery X

Thanks for all the thank yous

Yeah, we couldn't have done this without Mr. Man here.

Mr. X, I think it's time that we go ahead and announce who you are.

Who is he?

It's been Saigon the whole time.

Saigon here in studio, everybody, on 98.6.

98.6.

No.

98.6themouth.com brings to you Saigon on the air, everybody.

I had no idea that Saigon was cool.

Yeah, yeah.

So there it is.

The real Saigon is here.

If this is not Saigon, I challenge the real Saigon to present himself and step forward.

Nothing.

Okay, then.

So we stand and the rest are cleared.

Saigon is here in studio with us at 98.6 The Mouth in the Mouth Studios.

98.6 The Mouth.

I'm excited about this venture we're going into, Saigon.

Financially, we could not have done this without you.

That's correct.

All right, so excellent.

Saigon, very shy, of course.

Of course, you know, he never called in.

That's the only reason.

He's a strong guy behind the laptop here, but he keeps that quiet when it comes to the show.

So thank you for sitting in the co-host chair.

And don't forget to enter the contest for the all-powered-up laptop, dual-core processor,

complete recording studio, and wireless studio center.

Offered right on 98.6themouth.com.

Enter the contest, folks.

Don't miss out.

I want to thank everybody who made this great night possible.

I just want to say, of course, 98.6themouth.com is fake.

I think, honestly, and the sad thing is there's about two or three people out there

who are seriously still asking, what's the real, who's asking this, guys?

Hawkfan is one that's freaking out.

What's the website?

We have had a ton of people in the background like, what's the website?

We've got one guy asking what the link to the chat room is to the new IRC server.

Ted has been going crazy.

He called in twice.

wife yeah it's been a great night i want to thank uh jube was very it was in on this the whole time

thank you jube do you think kitty k kitty k is kitty k knows is a joke right because he left the

chat room but for a while there he was like i don't doubt it kitty goes like i don't doubt it

for a second everybody i think carlita would leave i think at first he might i don't wonder

something happened god bless kitty k but uh hopefully he gets he realizes i'm just gonna

I'm going to follow it dead.

Yeah.

Well, we had fun.

I have not laughed like that in a while.

I've never laughed like that in a year.

So a big thank you to Joop, who is a person who his seriousness in this was awesome.

Lonesome Loser came through with numbers, of course.

Everybody in the chat room.

Andy did a great job of trying to help out also with his stunning review of the 98.6thamouth.com website,

which kind of worked perfectly because it's not even really a –

We gave out so many different ways to actually access that.

Anyway, it was a great time, everybody.

Clone, you did well, too.

Thank you for rolling with the punches on such short notice.

And Milkman as well.

Good job, guys.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Warrior, thank you very much.

Great concept, man.

Warrior, you helped out also.

Oh, yeah.

I don't hate you as much.

Yeah, because you guys are on the same page sometimes.

Earthdog, I have to thank Earthdog.

I literally at work sent them a message five minutes before I left work tonight

and said, look, I need you to make me a fake radio promo that says 98.6 them out.com.

Motherfucker did it, like, at the last minute, and he did a great job at it.

Made two bumpers, two fucking bumpers for me.

Awesome.

Couldn't have done it without Earthdog.

Dude, did you see the icon he made up?

He made an icon out for this?

Did he really?

Dude, I sent you the link a long time ago, man.

This guy actually made a...

Go up.

Are you serious?

Hang on, I got to see this.

It's good.

I posted it in the chat room.

Are you fucking serious?

I had no idea.

I wasn't paying attention.

Let me see.

Go up, Spacey.

My fucking God.

So fucking awesome.

I'm keeping that, man, for this episode.

Oh, man.

That is fucking hilarious.

Put it on the website beside the call for this show.

Oh, my God.

That's hilarious.

98.6 the mouth, man.

What an incredible night we've had here.

Who else?

Am I forgetting anybody else I need to call?

Crazy fucker, right?

Yeah, go ahead and talk to that guy.

Whoever can identify the mouth wins $100.

Yeah, whosoever mouths that is wins $500.

And, of course, I like to say now that the mouth search,

the search for the new voice of the mouth,

the mouth of the mouth, laptop offer and all that,

that's not valid, sorry.

Sorry.

Because you can't answer for it.

Sorry.

Don't try to get upset, everybody.

So that's it, man.

Good work, guys.

We had a great show tonight.

It's super late.

It's like 2 o'clock in the morning.

But, yes, thank you for reminding me, Mr. Man.

I mean, Saigon, thank you for reminding me about that.

We're going to call it a night, everybody.

Please join us.

And, hey, I need to mention I have been behind on the podcast.

I'm going to try everything I can do to update last week's show

and tonight's show on the podcast by Saturday evening.

I'm going to try my best to have at least one, if not both of them, on by Saturday night at midnight, okay?

If you even care.

If anybody even there listens to the stupid Madhouse podcast anymore because they haven't updated it in so long.

But there it is.

Try to back it up.

Anyway, thanks, Milkman.

Thanks, Clone.

Thanks, SoFan.

I'll tell you what, you've been getting a lot of calls out, too.

Quite a few new listeners have been coming in and downloading your calls, man.

Awesome.

I'm excited about it.

And thanks to everybody who listened.

So what?

I don't get to go up against KDK on Saturday night?

I'm sorry to let you down, Clone.

We had to let you down the hard way, but no, it's all fake.

But you can still try.

You know, I don't know.

Maybe the mouth, maybe we've started something here, guys.

Maybe the mouth will come to light.

The mouth will rise again.

Oh, there will be a mouth, my people.

The mouth will rise again.

I'm still going through the chat.

I'll be listening to Juke.

That's hilarious.

Jim Florentine was on my morning show this morning.

Yeah, Jim Florentine even, huh?

Yeah, he's going to be in the Addison at the Improv.

In town, over there where you live?

Yeah, yeah, so I think I'm going to head over there tomorrow night or Saturday.

Awesome, dude.

That's awesome.

Good luck with that.

Jim Florentine is a funny guy.

He's a pioneer in prank calls, man.

Consider yourself lucky for that.

All right, man.

All right, we're out of here, folks.

Check us out next week.

Be sure to listen to Who's On Tomorrow on the Mouth.

I can't live with that image, man.

I got it up in front of here.

that's so fucking awesome i have no idea i would laugh so hard if that was like an hour ago dude

you're gonna put that on the front web page man just put a little bit smaller in the corner or

something you know or put it on the listening link the mouth oh jesus god oh man great night

on tomorrow i don't know zolar's probably on tomorrow kdk another thing man guys stop the

the drama stuff, man. Don't split it up.

Yeah, Zolar's gonna be on. Yeah, and then

KDK will be on Saturday night, 10pm.

Zolar's tomorrow, 10pm. Sunday's

nothing. Monday, Jupe's on there

somewhere, maybe. Monday,

Lego, he retired, so no.

Tuesday, Neos,

Toxic Shock. Wednesday, KDK

at 10 o'clock. And then

we'll be back here for the Madhouse

on next Thursday,

which is gonna be November, the first show of

November. We're wrapping up the year here.

Hey, man, does this mean we're not gonna be able

able to hear that stupid PCU award show

that Dr. Lego was harking about for like

a week and a half. He's bailing out

without the award show. Yeah, I like the award

show, dude. That bastard, man.

What a joke. I like

to find out, you know, who in the hell's gonna judge

that one. I guess. Yeah,

we're gonna have to do the award show here.

High pitch, Eric. Yeah, high

pitch, Eric. That's right. On the

mouth. Alright, we're back. We're back this

week. Peace. When's Jeep

gonna do his show? Is he gonna do his show on

Friday still? I don't know what he's doing.

On the mouth?

I don't know.

Maybe he'll do it on the mouth.

We need to start calling our private stream the mouth now.

I think Lonesome Loser is going to have an awesome show, man.

Yeah, Lonesome Loser and his music show.

Man, we have done so much live tonight.

All right.

Saigon deserves a show after that.

Clay Sane, Saigon.

Anything?

You have anything?

No, nothing.

Saigon doesn't want to talk.

He speaks his words in the chat room alone, everybody.

So respect Saigon.

He's a very integral part of the show.

Do another bong hit before you go, Saigon.

Saigon.

It doesn't do bongos.

No.

We got to go.

We're out of here, folks.

All right.

Milkman, thanks.

Everybody else, Warrior, thank you.

Oh, Warrior, thank you for the new TeamSpeak server.

Awesome, dude.

Thank you for coming through with that also, man.

Appreciate it.

Are you there?

Are you listening?

No?

We're thanking him.

He might have gone.

Yeah, you're welcome.

Hey, man.

Good work, and thanks for sitting in.

We'll try to get you more involved next time.

This was just a little crazy.

I'm sorry.

Later, Clone.

Later, Milkman.

Later, listeners.

Peace.

Later.

all right peace out man meet me in bed in five minutes we've kisses okay no she doesn't resist

he's in your bum like we do yeah the mouth does we call it remember crazy fucker i think you're

lying we have excuse me we have your name we have your okay and what is your everything what is the

address what is the email i don't we don't give that out how do i know that you're not gonna

exactly how do i know because you know what we're not even online right now you listen to me

dinner what are you a vampire excuse me you're a bum you people are 5 30 you know what asshole

look don't try and tell me that i owe you money i'm an attorney ma'am yeah i have gas listen

Calls (17, 41 min of 2 h 28 min)

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