2007-01-18 Show

And who plays What Happens in America?

Well, we steamed your ass in World War II.

What do you have to do?

We never did.

And who helped you out just now?

You piss off, woman.

Don't talk to me like that.

We don't need you anyway, bitch.

God, fuck you.

Call me a stinky, stinky fucker.

You are listening to the Madhouse Radio Podcast.

You don't talk to me like that, bitch.

I don't even know who the fuck the fuck you.

Put your man on the phone, I said.

Fuck you.

What are you crying for?

He died.

Did someone die?

Ma'am?

Yes?

I have gas.

Listen.

Oh.

Madhouse Radio is live Thursday nights at 10 p.m. Eastern.

Why don't you shut the hell up?

Fuck you!

Fucking Taylor Swift!

Be sure to visit us online at madhouselive.com.

Ladies and gentlemen, we're going to ask you for some fan fear.

The band, Fan Fear, because, ladies and gentlemen,

Sting has always gone ahead of itself.

They have done it again and again and again.

I remember the year they brought in the fat boys that were hotter than 10,000 firesides.

And if you know, and if you enjoy hip-hop, if you want one of the codes like this,

have a crack of the booze.

For the first time inside the state of 96, welcome to Carlito's Madhouse, baby.

Call us radio.

Yay, we're on.

I'm getting there

I'm on the fretful

We can't start the show

Stop the show

Stop the show everybody

Hang on, the clone will help us with that

Not ready yet

One more puff

In a second

Let me get these kids up

Whoa, Jesus God, clone

It's cloned right there

There you go

That's what I'm talking about

Everybody, we're here tonight

Congratulations, we made it

again through another week we are still alive we are not at war with another country yet the

terrorists have not struck again that we know that we know jack bauer is hard at work saving

oh yeah i started the other day it did it's pretty good i haven't even seen but like one episode you

know who's in it fucking kumar is he's a bad guy he doesn't look he doesn't look like a muslim he

looks indian like he is and they're trying to get him to play a muslim it doesn't work

jesus christ who was that someone was loud clone you're loud man still alive oh my god bring me

down bring me down it's all good breaker it's all good brother so yeah we're here tonight to do a

show it's me here carlito and studio with me is will will say hi to the hey everybody will's made

it tonight i think i got a little bit more live tonight i don't know last week i was just like i

don't know well you're also drinking tonight oh what the heck are you i am now we're about to

to take a moment for that you know what it sucks is you know we don't have an extra bowl for will

that's okay athena took well we always do this thing now where we all take a hit at the same

time oh yeah so you're just gonna have to you just gotta take a sip and then we'll i got i got

me some brandy too so you know that's all right that's what kind of brandy is that you bso e and

j bsop wow very nice it's very very gangster milkman is here milkman what's up i got a

question somebody's breaking up clothes working on it milkman what's up with you man yeah man

man. Welcome to the show. Thanks for being on

tonight, man. Yeah, man. I'm right here, man.

Milkman.com.

I know we're ready to have a wonderful show.

I haven't been there yet.

Cardio's got some wonderful adventures up

his sleeve for all you kiddies out there.

So get your good numbers together

and let us bust all your friends

down. Goddamn right. Send them in.

What he said, man. Do that thing.

Punch them in the mouth.

Punch it in the mouth. And we'll give a quick

shout out, man, to my buddy

Mr. Craig. Craig

90.6, though, a mile.

Sweet kisses, my girly.

Sweet kisses.

Papa Bear, all you new people out there, welcome to this wild thing we call the Mad Owl.

That's great, Milkman.

Very good.

Very good show of your pipes.

Clone Homegrown, Living the American Dream is here tonight.

Clone, what do you say there, sir?

I'm trying to live it.

You know how it goes.

Are you depressed?

Yeah, I got some bad news today.

It's cool.

Life goes on.

All right, man.

Well, I hope that works out.

You got someone sick in your family?

I hope everything works out.

We'll be praying for you here.

So there it is.

Yeah, my mom's sick.

All right, man.

It's not super bad.

Is it pretty bad?

Bad enough, you mean?

Well, there's no turning back from it that way.

Yeah, it's one of those.

My mom is probably going to be there in a few years herself.

He's degenerating as far as health goes.

So, unfortunately, you know,

Mama Lito is not going to be around for much longer.

Hopefully not, you know.

Hopefully she will be here for a long time.

But in all concepts, you won't win.

Sorry to hear that, Clone, man.

You need someone to talk to.

That's your family, man.

So we'll be taking up an offering tonight for Clone.

If you want to donate to that, that's over there at CloneHomegrown.net.

That's cool.

CloneHomegrown.net.

I haven't been to either one.

Never seen a quarter round.

CloneHomegrown.net is great, Will.

Okay.

That's my favorite one out of all.

We all have our own page.

And I'm in charge of the mouth.

You know what?

I'm going to have to do more.

Oh, my bad.

I got to get you to put me down on your aim list or something.

Will and Reed 420.

You're there.

Will and Reed 420.

If anybody wants to, now we all know your last name.

You got to send me that information.

All right.

We will do that.

I will, man.

Or Milkman here.

He's good at that kind of stuff.

He's young.

He's young himself.

He's a very young guy.

We'll get him on, man.

Yeah, that's right.

We will.

What's up?

Oh, shit.

We got Nugs in the house.

Nugs, what's up, man?

Just in time for introductions, man.

Say something.

Yeah, it's about time.

It's Nugs here.

What's up, man?

Good to have you on, bro.

Thanks for being on, man.

Make sure you got some headphones on.

All right, man.

Make sure you got some headphones on.

We got a bro in the house, man.

Yeah, Nuggs here.

He does great.

You know, Nuggs, you're on the...

I warn all you kiddies out there, man.

I just uploaded Nuggs...

Two weeks ago, Nuggs called in.

No, three weeks ago, Nuggs called into the show, right?

And did some pranks.

I just uploaded that today.

That's all uploaded.

That's on one of the podcasts for today.

So be sure to check that out.

The podcast is updated with two new episodes.

MadHouseLive.com

Check out the podcast

Get a hold of us through there

And look out for the CD coming soon

If you happen to miss out

Or you'd just like to hear another great episode

Of the Madhouse

Go check out our podcast

www.MadHouseLive.com

That's right

The CD's coming out any day now

I've got problems

Milkman I've got problems with the CD man

You know what happened did I tell you

No man

I need to take requests.

I need to take suggestions.

That's the screensaver here, Will.

It's scary.

We're starting to get paranoid.

It's a cop screensaver.

That's it, man.

It's a blue and red flashing light.

Hey, hey, hey, don't talk about that.

That's bad karma, man.

Shut up.

I got some stuff I got to deal with.

I'm bringing my brother here.

We don't like talking about cops on here.

here we don't respect cops on the show i'm sorry to say i don't know nugs is way hot but not anymore

i'm sorry i can't respect the pigs i can't do it it's hard to it's hard to respect police

i got hit for dumb shit all the time like i get searched every time i get pulled over i get

searched i'm like what the fuck i'm not the whitest puerto rican you know every time and

it's always like nugs man you're you're you're way loud try to bring your uh your uh milkman

Man, work with him on that.

Maybe get him to turn his mic moves down a little bit.

All right.

We got to do this shit early, man.

Now we're encroaching on the time.

But I got to search him.

He's loud.

Nugs has got to work on that.

You get searched every man?

Nugs, just back away from your microphone.

Hold it about a foot away from your face and try it.

He's working on it.

Will, you get pulled over?

I mean, you get searched when you get pulled over, man?

I got searched when I was like 16.

They put me out of the car.

I had a permit

And they tried to say

I was speeding

And all on the yellow lines

I'm like nah

They put me behind

The car in handcuffs

To search the car

What the fuck

I was 16

What am I gonna do

Yeah

You know

Can't they just put you

In the back

I mean that's real fucked up

No they

You know normally

You know

Alright you gonna lay

On the back of the cop car

Just stand here

You know

Right

No he gotta do that

Put you in cuffs and stuff

That's fucked up

And it was a Mexican cop

Man go figure

A Mexican cop

Well okay

Puerto Rican

I've never seen a Mexican

Are there Mexican cops

Hispanic in nature.

You live in California.

Are there any Mexicans there?

No, I haven't been to California like that.

Dude, that's an inside man.

That ain't a cop.

Yeah, the only Mexican...

Yeah, we got a Mexican cop here.

The only Mexican cop I know of is fucking Eric Estrada.

What's his face from Chips?

What's his name?

Punch.

Oh, Punch.

That's the only Mexican cop that I know of.

He's got that new show on too now, right?

I don't know.

Oh, he's going to speak?

The armed and famous.

Yeah, Eric.

I haven't seen it yet, man.

It's in Columbus or something like that, I think.

What town are they in?

No, they're in

They're in Africa.

Indiana? Come on, there's nothing

There's no... They gotta put them in the real shit.

They gotta put them in L.A. or something like that.

I thought they were doing it in L.A.

No, they can't go to no hard town.

They can't go to L.A.

No, they couldn't have it. They'd get shot.

Indianapolis is rough, though, man.

Well, maybe. I don't know. I don't know nothing about Indy.

Indianapolis is a pretty big ghetto.

Man, there is this wildest

They will run your ass down.

Her name's Debra.

Don't screw around.

That's right.

Debra the bus driver.

That's funny, yeah.

Debra Mansfield.

I think that's cash, man.

I'm sorry.

I think that's cash.

There's plenty right here in case.

Here's an ashtray.

You know what to do from there.

Beat bowl.

That's right.

Pack up the green bud.

So, yeah.

There we are.

Man, I'm pissed off at somebody.

Guess who I'm pissed off at?

What corporation am I pissed off at tonight?

Milk Mango first.

AT&T.

Negative.

Will, what's your guess?

Incorporated.

No, not Chigga Incorporated.

Singular.

Not Singular.

Nugs, if you're able to talk, any guess?

Mixed Skin Smuggling Agency.

That sounds bad.

Yeah.

Yeah, he's got to put headphones on, man.

But no, man.

Comcast.

I do have headphones.

Something's coming through on your side.

Turn off your stereo mix, bro.

Turn off your stereo mix.

That's right.

Make sure you're on microphone only.

I think that might be what it is.

But no, I'm pissed off at Comcast, man.

I spent two hours last night talking to this

Comcast shit. Oh, is that what you got?

Oh, shit. I had Adelphia.

We're stuck with Adelphia

in this stupid conference here. Oh, I got shut off by Adelphia

because I was peer-to-peer

file sharing. Oh, they do that?

I was downloading everything I had on my computer, man.

Oh, see, I don't share anything.

I'm a leech. I don't share anything

because I don't want that to happen. Well, I had

email and apparently you have to share

in order to download. Yeah, it makes you a server

pretty much. Yeah, man.

get you you got to get a business package though that's the loophole you get a business that they

can't say because you can you can um give away like copyrighted material because you're making

it you can just say you make it yeah it's my stuff you know i'm saying get a business account

yeah that's a static ip yep and that's your loophole to that so that's what you got you

gotta pay like what extra 20 30 bucks but hey whatever if you're really into it though you know

well how many nerds are there in the world actually um i don't know

Oh, there's quite a few.

There's so much shit on Emule.

You can get anything.

I thought Emule was dead.

I thought it was all torrents now.

Oh, hell no, dude.

And it's got everything.

Porn applications, music.

BearShares are the shit, man.

Yeah, my roommates do BearShare.

Is that still around?

That's old.

Are you serious?

No, they've been doing updates.

Just like LineWire.

LineWire, you just steal their pro copy right off their website.

You have to have the old BearShare.

The new BearShare sucked.

I think it did.

I don't know.

with mx that was awesome for music and they took it out i think it's back in some way but

i just file i don't know i stick to torrents man torrents very reliable i mesh i mesh became the

new bear share i miss back when i was first came out i used it for porno purposes it was great for

video and you know that i just go to the website it's only music a bunch of gay ass shit prank i

hear someone saying prank jesus said prank jesus is saying prank uh what's going on in the uh in

the chat room real quick let me uh pay attention to the chat room for like 10 seconds dtt says

how is your fries in hell better than aol that's dtt i'm sorry that's wrong

i'm sorry anyway zombie slayer says play some racist music when you call the walla

what's the walla yeah play some damn nigger we hate you

Zombie Slayer.

Walmart.

Okay.

Wow.

MSC3 Clay is announcing Carlito, Clone, Milkman, and That Guy in the Studio.

All right.

Guy in the Studio, man.

All right.

That's me.

Oh, is that me?

Yes, you.

You're the guy in the studio.

Oh, okay.

I'm the guy in the studio.

All right.

And we got Nudge in the house.

It's Will with the Thrill.

Okay.

Hey, somebody remember my name.

Awesome.

I can't remember none of y'all names.

All I know is the names.

I couldn't match the sounds with the names.

Well, slowly, maybe.

I'm still like, fuck you.

Time to hit another one.

I'm tired.

I'm trying.

I'm trying to remember because I'm like, okay, what's this dude?

Who is he?

Okay, I need to remember something about him.

And it wasn't working.

It's Bill, right?

Not Will.

It's Will.

Willie Will.

Will.

Chill, Will.

It's not Bill.

Big Will.

Chill.

Big Will 420.

James.

No one ever calls you James.

I'm Agent 007.

You know what I love?

I'm double.

No, wait.

I'm 048.

048.

I had this manager who used to call me Jose all the time on purpose.

Jose?

He used to go like, I don't know why I keep calling you Jose.

I was like, motherfucker, my name is Jose.

Carlos, man.

How do you confuse Carlos and Jose?

I wanted to call you Pedro one time.

No, check this out.

What's up?

My ICQ has 007 in it and 420.

All right, well, Clone, you said that you're well.

My ICQ is 69.

Did you pick that?

007, 420?

It just came out like that?

Wow.

It's like 420, 69, 3007.

Yeah.

And people use ICQ still?

I don't know.

Isn't ICQ like AOL?

No, I was like, Jonathan was asking me about it today.

He was, too.

He asked me.

ICQ is AOL.

AOL bought ICQ.

Yeah, they keep it running, but it's shit.

But Jonathan today was like, hey, man, do you use ICQ?

I was like, what the hell is ICQ?

That's like so September.

Hey, man, ICQ is the shit for file transfers, Carlito.

Yeah, but nobody used it.

Man, I tried that mess.

No, it's good for file transfers.

ICQ?

You can queue transfers.

You can have up to like 20.

Yeah, ICQ, though, like, I found some hot spots, but then it was like 1 megabit, 100 kilobits a second.

It was the slowest shit in the world.

No, it was like 25.

That shit used to get on my nerves.

Like, they got all the stuff you want, but it comes out slow.

Yeah, but ICQ, man, you could get some tail back on ICQ, too, back in the day.

But ICQ is like real September 10th.

You know what I mean?

That's what they call things that just aren't modern anymore.

I call them their September 10th.

You know?

ICQ's one.

What else is there?

VHS tapes

That's rule

I'm still using that

Hey

Why are you using VHS

Because I got the dual DVD

And VCR player

And I just record the TV shows

That's all I got

Dude all my porn's VHS

You know what

That's gonna be valuable

In a couple years

You think so

When the VCR

It's gonna go retro

Like 8 tracks

I got Tracy Lord

Selling on eBay

Tracy Lord

Wasn't she

Wasn't she a minor

In some of her movies

I just remember the titles

Of them

I can't remember the actors.

I don't know.

Yeah, I just...

You know, Will, how old are you?

25 in a couple of days.

All right, well, happy birthday.

I'm 27.

You know, if we had the porno when we were...

I'm 29.

When me, Will, all right, and he's 29.

Who was 12 again?

Milkman's 82.

I'm going to molest you, that little 12-year-old.

Nugs is 12.

I'm 87 years old, you young whippersnappers.

Milkman's 87.

He just makes himself sound young.

Clone's the oldest one here.

He's 29.

And I'm only about two years old.

Somebody sounds real old.

I don't know if it's Clone or if it's Milkman.

It's Milkman.

Milkman sounds like the groovy dude from back in the day.

Hey, man.

He does.

He's a young man, like the old-time Deja.

When I was a young whippy snapper, I used to burn a lot of stuff.

You got Milkman started on this.

He doesn't stop when he starts that old talk.

but what i was trying to get at is the fact that uh don't make fun of guys i'm gonna cut you off

you don't shut up man i got the button right there man don't ask him don't fuck with me man

quiet i gotta beep you right there yeah so you do that right there

that's this computer over here well i'm trying to say man if when we were teenagers 14 15 16 years

old we had to rely on vhs tapes and stolen magazines to look at porn right and now these

these days these kids can just go online you know and they get it for free what the fuck man man i

had to buy all my own computers and i didn't get one until i was 16 that sucked man i didn't get

a computer till i was 19 but i kept going i i used one at the library like every day i could

use it if i had to in school and then when i when i was 17 i graduated went to college and i used

the computers there and two years two years later i got my first computer now i got like three in

here and that's something man that's something man you know so vhs you got a free laptop when

when I went to college.

This one chick in one of my classes,

she has an old retro laptop from 1996.

I got one from 82 or 83, man.

It's got a something bod modem in it,

like lower than a kilobit,

like 180 bytes per second.

We're talking way...

All right, we got to get on to pranks, man.

We're just like, this thing is getting out of control.

We're getting out of control.

All right, prank calls.

We're sorry about that.

We're sorry.

So pranks now.

They say, we say.

We all got to do pranks.

All right, I'm going to try and keep you focused.

All right, thank you.

Okay.

You're just getting drunk over there.

And I'll pass it up on my couch tonight.

I should be good.

No more nerd talk.

It was like two shots, maybe.

Fuck nerds, man.

I don't want any nerds calling in tonight.

If you're a nerd, don't call in to the show.

Is it on?

No, it's off because the nerds call in too early.

Who wants you to bet Jonathan is the first caller of the night?

When I want that turnoff.

I'll give you, I'll bet you $5 he is the first caller of the night.

Hey, man.

What's up?

I bet you.

Hey.

I can't talk.

Hey, Carlito.

He's always talking real loud, but far away.

He's like, hey, Carlito.

Hey.

Oh, man.

He said he fucked his girlfriend today.

What?

Word.

Jonathan.

Hey, we got to talk to him.

Get him on the line.

Well, maybe not today, but he said it today that he fucked her.

A word?

Wow.

He's a test.

Good for you, man.

But.

DDU is giving him shit all day.

So he's not a 47-year-old virgin anymore.

All right.

Congratulations, go ahead and do that one right there

Let's, yeah, a little applause right here

For that, right there

And our condolences to the woman

Yes, our condolences to the woman

Yeah, go ahead Milkman

I got the music for you

Open up the 800 line man

Because I got a special caller I want to call right now

Oh my god, oh my god

Senator Orrin Hatch, everybody calling in tonight

I didn't mean to announce it yet

Yeah, that's right

All you hecklers, get ready

I'm not going to get the toll free line out

Who is it?

Send me a message.

Go ahead.

He's got it.

All right, whatever.

We're going to get you a website, reviewedpornatmadhouse.com.

Reviewedpornatmadhouse.com.

You get to watch all of us off in seconds.

Oh, man.

It's hard to get a long porn for free on the internet, you know?

You're going to get like 30 seconds is the most you can get.

Aren't you going to feel bad that he watches something that somebody else already watched?

Like, she's been used.

Well, here's the thing.

You have no sticky pages.

Every single porn you see, there's a different woman, right?

How many women in America are doing porn?

You'd be surprised.

We don't even get to see all of it.

Yeah, but in America, I mean, don't you think at some point you'd meet a woman who has been into porn?

I've heard them on the radio.

I don't know.

Haven't you?

I don't know if I have.

I don't know.

Not that I know of a woman.

I know a stripper.

Two strippers.

Yeah, but strippers don't all do porn.

I had a stripper.

They all do drugs.

They all do cocaine.

Yes, they do.

I realized that real quick.

I just love cocaine, man.

First one I met, straight cocaine.

Cocaine!

That's a stripper drug right there.

Okay, sorry.

Okay.

I lost my job.

There we go.

You got the line open?

The line is fucking open.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

I'm in a curse.

No, no, you're fine, Will.

It's enabled, man.

So the toll-free line is open.

If you want to reach us on AOL Instant Messenger, you want to hit us up at Madhouse Radio.

Again, that is Madhouse Radio.

Should I do that over there?

How do I get in that crazy-ass chat room?

I don't know.

The phone's ringing.

You know what? I should monitor the chat room.

You should.

Is that over there?

The chat room, you can open it up.

Okay.

Hang on, let me get that ready.

Well, we'll take a break in like 10 minutes or 15 minutes.

Man, how's radio? You on the air?

You know.

Hey, what's up, Nugs? What you doing, man?

How you doing, man? How you doing?

We're doing good. How are you, brother?

Yeah, I'm good.

Great, man. You sound like a very fun man.

You're not really 12, are you?

No.

I turned off the wrong phone.

You're not 12, right? You're like 16, 17?

No, excuse me. My mother told me I was three.

to stay out of jail, man.

That's good, man.

It's an everyday struggle.

Trying to do whatever.

That's right, man.

Well, trying to still

make a living, right?

Yeah, right now

I'm about the highest playing.

I feel like I can

come up with a good new list.

That's good.

I'm like,

right now I'm to the point

where I'm actually

seeing the colors

and hearing the sounds.

All right, man.

Right on, man.

So, I don't know.

You want to do a prank call?

I got a bunch of numbers here.

Yeah, man.

Let's crank them all up.

Let's do something.

I've got

Insane Motorsports

sports and

apparel.

How do you

mix motorsports

and apparel?

What the

fuck is that?

We got car

parts and car

shirts.

I got leather

and I got

hat.

Jesus Christ.

Not like a

motor hat.

Let me tell

you about them

a little.

We got used

car parts.

We got car

mats.

We got

Febreze for

your car.

And we got

Dale Earnhardt

shirts.

Oh yeah.

How about

the Jimmy Dice?

Hey, just ask

them about their

Dale Earnhardt shirts.

I got a damn evil

Knievel out, but...

Number three,

Dale Earnhardt.

All right, man,

we're going to call

Insane Motorsports

and Apparel.

I had a song that I

wanted to hear all day

today, and that's

Ice Cuba was a good

day.

Right.

And we're going to

play that here, and

we'll be right back

after this with the

next call in.

Oh, my God.

First call in.

Play it out.

Shut up, clown.

Bitch.

Better than your

stupid music.

Yeah.

Told you.

Oh, man.

I hate fax machines.

We got Camp Jubilee.

Camp Jubilee.

Yeah.

Bring Christopher on.

All right.

Camp Jubilee, here comes.

Hello?

Yes, how are you doing today?

How are you?

I'm good.

I was calling because I have a question for you.

What do you all do over there, exactly?

We have camps in the Wenatchee Forest, and we have cabins, and we run it up to groups for different events.

Okay, well, listen here.

Okay, we're thinking about having an annual Wakanodo picnic over there.

How much would it cost to have that?

What kind of picnic?

Wakalulu. How much would it cost to have the picnic?

And what exactly is a Wakalulu picnic?

I'm a direct descendant of the Wakalulu Indian tribe.

We weren't having them out there in Kansas, but they changed the law where you were allowed to shoot at red Indians.

We don't do that anymore because too many accidents occurred, so we need to move it.

Alrighty. What all would this involve?

Well, it'll probably be about a four-day festival.

We could bring some totem poles, do some rain dances,

and we might have a bare-naked deer scavenger hunt

to see if we can find the most deer feces that look like the United States of America.

This is no joke.

One time we went out in the woods, and I found this piece of deer turd that looked like Texas.

I swear to you.

Well, can you hold on for just a moment?

I sure can.

Okay.

We go by the regular calendars. We go by the Indian calendar.

And we do that by using astrology and astrology and the signs that our gods give to us.

So I don't know how to convert, but here, we be coming there on Wateke.

On the 4th of Wateke to about the 6th of Wateke, which is a three-day,

which is actually two numbers, but we count by threes.

Okay. Is it like in, you have the regular seasons like summer, spring, winter, fall?

Yes, we do.

As a matter of fact, if you want, you may join us in the festivities.

Actually, we invite all people of the Caucasian persuasion to come out and join us

so we can recreate the Thanksgiving, you know, like you could be John Smith

and we can give you one of our fine young Indian ladies who we can call Pocahontas

and y'all can fornicate and have children.

And therefore, that way we know we can be legal here.

Well, I'm absolutely not interested in that, but...

Well, I mean, you know, it's just an offer. That's just for say.

But what season are we talking about? Spring and summer?

The season of Walu, which is kind of, I guess you could say it's like spring.

But just to let you know, just to let you know, towards the end of the night,

some of our members, they tend to get a little rowdy.

And last time we had one of these over in Kansas,

we had a couple of guys who decided to go in the woods and put war paint on,

and they went crazy into the forest, and they came back with all kinds of deers and everything else.

And apparently they killed a koala bear.

I never knew koala bears lived in Kansas, but, you know, things happen.

Well, what we would have to do would be to be able to line up your calendar with our calendar

and figure out what dates exactly to see if the camp is even available at that time.

Well, I mean, even if it isn't available, we can live in the woods.

That's what we do.

We're Indians.

You know, build a couple of teepees, you know, go find the nearest river, you know, do whatever.

Kind of like the last Mohicans.

Well, and about how many people are we talking about?

Well, let's see.

There's me, there's Magua, there's Mohawk, there's Totem, Flying Eagle or Sitting Bird.

There's probably about 12 to 38.

Okay, so somewhere between 10 to 14.

No, no, hold on. 37, because Red Bull, he's not coming this year.

He called me yesterday and said he couldn't make it.

Because apparently they had a burglary at the casino or something, I don't know.

Okay, and where are you currently located at? Are you in Yakima?

I'm about, right now I'm kind of down here in Jacksonville, Florida, because we had to bury one of our members.

So I'm down here just for a couple days or so because we have to bury him in the woods.

But we had a couple of problems with the law today because they said that we couldn't bury him in the woods because it wasn't right.

And then one of the police officers called me, something that was highly offended.

He told me that I was not supposed to be there.

I was supposed to be in apartment number 8 in Oklahoma.

That is the building that the Cherokees live in, and we disregard the Cherokees at all times.

Okay, well, I'll tell you what.

If I can get your name and number?

Okay, yes.

My name is Sitting Bull, and my phone number,

I actually have to call the apartment we all live in in Kansas.

I forgot the name of the hotel, but I can give you a call back in a couple days or so,

and we can work things out.

Okay, well, the hardest part is going to be getting,

somehow you're going to need to be able to match the calendars up to get dates

so we can tell exactly what's going on in the camp and the area at that time and if we can do this.

I mean, we can just send you smoke signals and let you know it's still alive.

There's no numbers there at the hotel?

Well, I don't know where it's doing it right now. Like I said, I can give you a call back.

All right.

And or if you're up for it, I can send my hawk with my message and you can bring it back.

He's real friendly. He doesn't bite. Just feed him some kibbles and bits and he's good to go.

Okay. Well, we will wait to hear back from you and go from there then.

All right. My hawk should be there about tomorrow afternoon. I'm going to send him off in the morning.

All righty.

You have a good one.

toilet bowl flushed

that shit's funny

oh my god

was it a hawk

or was it

what did you say

you were gonna say

a hawk

yep

it was a hawk

right

yeah

yep

I didn't know

Indians used hawks

I thought they used

like eagles

you should've said

eagle

I'm gonna send

my bald eagle

out there for you

that's funny

I'm gonna send

my beaver

to come down

no man

if you're gonna talk

fucking

get away from the bathroom

he's sitting there

I got y'all

speakerphone man

I had

I had a turd

in the shape of Texas

that was great

my god

that was good man

I don't like him

a deer turd

honest to god

in the shape of Texas

I don't wanna know

I don't wanna know about it

I hate deer turds man

the fucking deer turd

don't they just have

pebbles

yeah

they just like pebbles

they're like

the freaking

like berries

yeah

they're like cocoa puffs

yeah man

they're so kibbled and bit

That's what they're like

Yeah

Craig says

Nerds really gotta

Put their nose in there

Do another call

Me too

Wanna do another call?

Me?

Yeah

Sure man

Let's crank it up

I'll pull a flea out the box

Let's go

Alright

Oh my god

Flea

Oh yeah

The black lady

She's the one that called

Hey man

Give me

What's her face's number

Give me the

The bus driver chick again

I forgot her name

Debra

Yeah

Cause

Nugs made her crack up

Last time he called

He started laughing

I got that on, I got that on the podcast, it's so funny, oh my gosh, he's, he's a shit,

you called her from like some kind of Sweetwater Creek Baptist Church or something like that?

Yeah, I don't forget what it was, yeah, you're like, this is Frida, baby, Frida, she's like,

uh-huh, it's so funny, oh man, all right, we're gonna, we're gonna call, um, I got,

oh, here's what we got, taxidermy, don't they, uh, fix up dead people, or is that the, uh,

The animals, right?

Stuffed animals.

If you could pose

Jojo, you know, your dog.

Jojo the dog?

Aw, poor Jojo, man. He's dead.

Can you get my

ostrich?

You had to put him down.

My pet ostrich. Oh, yeah.

Hey, Nugs, here's what you do. We'll call the taxidermy place

and you say that

your dog is sick and dying

and ask how much it'll cost

to have him stuffed or whatever.

And then we'll actually go like this.

Then we're going to go, you're going to say, hang on, baby, real quick.

All right, that price sounds okay, and then we'll go.

When can you come pick up this dog?

All right.

So you guys say, wait a minute, hold on, hold on.

Give me a moment.

Oh, man.

I'm just sick of this dog.

He's sick of this dog.

He's peeing and chewing on everything, motherfucker.

I'm on a quiet note

What's my shawty?

Stop talking, dude

Nice and quiet

Alright, we gotta stop joking around

We're in a funny mood

We gotta play some music

And move on with the show

Hang on

God, motherfucker

Yeah

Um, let's, uh

I guess we are high

What's a good high music?

We already played

You should download, um

I forgot his name, though

Afro Man?

That's probably one of the best high music

Oh, yeah?

Yeah

Look at that

You shouldn't be smoking. You're too young.

Hang on. I'm going to play Pusher, man.

Whatever, man. Behave yourself.

Get me in trouble with your mom again like last time.

Hang on, everybody. We're coming with the next prank call.

Just a moment.

Ooh, Fat Dog Convenience Store.

Damn, that would have been great, that idea about the taxidermy, man.

Damn it.

We had such a nice time planning that.

You want to call a convenience store, then?

Yeah.

at our Fat Dog convenience store in Texas, Frankston, Texas.

Okay, here that comes.

One moment, folks.

Fat Dog, there we go.

Hello?

Hello.

How you doing, baby?

Fine.

Yeah, I need some help.

Pardon?

I need some help.

What you need?

Well, I need some macaroni and cheese and some collard greens.

How much is that here, baby?

Hold on.

You know, speak English?

King John Doodoo.

Hello?

Hello, yeah, how you doing, baby?

How you doing, baby?

How do I know you?

No, how you doing?

I'm doing good.

Man, good.

I'm using him, baby.

I need some praxis on some food.

Get some what?

Praxis on some food.

Do y'all not speak English down there?

No, not really.

Don't get smart, boy.

I will come to the zone and hit you in my belt.

Well, I'm down here.

Come on.

I'm a tethered green black belt.

Don't mess with me.

I'm a crying shopping grandmama.

Get a hold on me.

Uh, I don't.

No, you don't.

Don't beat up Chuck Norris.

You don't own nothing to me.

I'm crazy.

All right.

Well, I can understand you.

Come get some.

Bring it on.

Chop chop.

Come on.

Let's go.

I'm ready.

Do something then, boy.

I'll buy instead of you.

Chopped?

Chopped.

Uh-oh.

Party chopped.

Is that going to be all for you?

Hell no.

I'm ready to fight now.

Uh-oh.

Let's do it then.

I'm going to whoop your ass in the name of Jesus.

In the name of Jesus?

Hell yeah.

I'm an atheist, though, so I really don't really...

Whoa.

I'm going to throw that right in the hell then.

Let's go then, boy.

Chop, chop.

That's nice talking to you, but I got to go.

You better be scared to eat this bitch.

I love you, and I'll see you later.

God bless you, baby.

That's pretty funny.

Niggas are funny.

Oh, man.

Hang on.

Let me clear the line real quick.

What else is up, man?

I don't know.

What are the voices?

You got the old black guy, right?

Yep.

You got the old black guy.

You do the old black lady.

You do the little kid.

I got a whole arsenal, dawg.

That's right, man.

Do you have a CD you're working on, right?

Yeah.

As a matter of fact, I'm on track number 28.

It's going to be big.

You're on track.

Oh, you're working on the 28th one right now?

Yeah.

Wow, man.

I'm still working on it.

I've got some companies down here that produces, like, comedy CDs and stuff.

They want to pick it up, so.

Oh, shit.

Well, there you go, man.

That's awesome.

I know.

Well, let me know when it's out, and I'll definitely get a copy, man, as long as you sign it.

I'll get you up for free, Pimpin'.

Whatever, man.

I'll pay.

I don't care.

I don't need no charity.

Yeah, man.

All right, man.

Well, thanks for calling in, bro.

No problem, man.

Yeah, don't be a stranger, and get back in on the TeamSpeak

If you can

Alright, I'll catch y'all later

Alright, man, later

Alright, man

Nugs, everybody

An awkward silence

But follows us

Hang on, let me get

Clown open here

We got Milkman open here

I'll turn Nugzak on

Alright

Alright, dear man

I got stuck for a minute

When he said

Let me get the pie

So I can get some

Macaroni and cheese

And collard greens

I got stuck on that

For like a minute

Two minutes

Macaroni

I'm a fighting whammo

Yeah

Macaroni, cheese

And collard greens

I don't know

I laughed harder on the Mac

Yeah

I'm a fighting grandma

I love that

I like hot sauce

On my macaroni and cheese man

That's a good

That's a good combination

You ever do that?

That's a good shit right there boy

Oh you know what's good

With macaroni and cheese

A1 steak sauce

You put that A1 steak sauce

In the macaroni and cheese

You try it

Oh man

Macaroni and cheese

With mushroom

Cream of mushroom soup

There you go

That's my man over there

That's what I'm talking about

Are you mixing it?

I'm telling you man

Condensed soup

You mix it in

It's like a sauce

Throw in a little bit of onion

and tuna

and you got

tuna casserole

on the stove top, man.

My girl Sweet Kisses

told me that menu

right there.

Oh, man.

Put it on a piece of bread

cause it's gonna be single.

Oh, man.

Hey, the phone is ringing.

This is our first call

back in the night.

No, it's Jonathan, though.

All right, Jonathan.

I told you he'd be

the first one to call.

It was my father.

Yeah.

Jonathan,

you just cost

$5.

Jonathan.

What's up, Carlito?

You owe me $5, man.

For what?

For all the times you call in, man.

You owe me $5.

I'm just playing with you.

How you doing, man?

I'm doing okay.

I heard you got something out of us.

Yeah.

What's up?

Jonathan.

Yes, I did.

Tell us how you're doing.

All right, so you met on the Internet?

Did I meet him?

Did you meet her on the Internet, or do you know her already?

I've been knowing her for a long time.

You've been on her for a long time?

That's how you do it, man.

He puts a beating on.

Jonathan's like, giggity, giggity.

So you've been working on it for like 10 years now?

You finally got in?

Yeah.

Was it the first time with her?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah?

Good, man.

So what do you rate it?

Two, one, and ten.

What do you give it?

Not for sure.

I'm starting to think you didn't really do it, John.

I'm starting to have my doubts.

You know, this kind of thing, you're real quick when it happens.

You know, you're like, you know, snappity.

What the hell is this clone saying something nasty?

What are you saying?

Lies.

Oh, yes.

Lies.

they don't believe you that's creepy I'll fix that real quick there we go so

what else is going on man how's the bus industry treating you how the house the

app price the diesel doing you get a brand new bus well you get a 2007 model

uh-huh is it a blue is it a bluebird they still make bluebirds man yeah oh

yeah is it got AC on it you know it's our conventional it's not a pusher this

What the hell is a Vistra?

I know, right?

That was a great bus man, man.

Yeah, man.

So tell me the truth about this.

It's got AC on it, right?

Does it have seatbelts on it?

Yes.

The newer buses are only equipped with seatbelts.

Man, I remember the old, like, when I was in high school, the football team, we got shit.

So we ended up having to take, like, the oldest bus that they had on campus.

And it was the kind, the bluebird that had the engine, like, right by the driver.

So whenever the thing drove, it was like the whole time.

And you compare that to the older ones with the engine in the back,

and it was so much louder than that.

Like, the engine was sitting right there, like in front of the bus.

The old days without seatbelts.

That used to be fun.

Yeah, no seatbelts on the bus in Florida.

Nah.

And no AC, man.

In Florida, that's pretty bad, man.

You sweat to death.

Man, April, it gets hot here, you know what I mean?

April, it's like in the 90s sometimes, right?

Is it?

The humidity makes it to, like, 120.

He knows nasty ass buses, and it stinks in there.

Yeah, I had a lot of buses that way.

Yeah? That sucks, man.

Are you in the union?

Uh, yeah.

No, you're not.

You're not in the union.

Are you really in the union?

He's not.

He's in the bus union.

We used to ride those old buses from the 60s.

They didn't have no padding on the back of the seats.

They were solid metal.

That's good, though, man.

I bet you those things are still running right now.

No, but just some black man made a restaurant out of it.

You remember that dude on, the black dude on Colonial back in the day?

You were back here then.

This guy, he gutted out this old school bus and made a restaurant out of it.

He had chairs in it and everything.

And he used to park it on the side of Colonial here.

And people would drive up and go and sit inside the bus and eat.

Yeah, he made his own rolling restaurant, man.

That guy was a trip.

He had some good ribs, man.

He made ribs, and I got them a few times.

The jerk chicken is good on the side of the road.

The jerk chicken is what's up.

I don't like jerk chicken.

That jerk is my own chicken.

That jerk is his own chicken.

Just like Jonathan does.

What's up, Jonathan?

You were saying we interrupted you.

What's up?

I was in Orlando last week, and I was trying to get a hold of you.

The hell?

You didn't come over and bring me my cookies, motherfucker.

Yeah, I was trying to get a hold of you to see if we could meet up somewhere.

Somewhere.

You should have known.

You could have called the madhouse line.

Fucker.

I got it, and you turned it off.

The mouth line, man.

You know, what's the number you call in?

Tell everybody how to call in.

Let's go, Randy.

The toll free number is 1-888-278-8509.

Oh, hang on.

Someone was singing.

Say it one more time.

What's the toll free number if you want to call in?

Jonathan, take it away.

The toll free number to call in is 1-888-278-8509.

All right.

Good deal.

We're going to put down a commercial.

There you go.

There you have it.

We're going to put down the commercial with your permission, man.

That's fine.

All right, man.

Well, hey, congratulations on everything tonight.

You have a thing.

You know?

Yeah.

Yeah, we're nice talking with y'all.

Hopefully she doesn't get pregnant.

I hope not.

She's a burger.

You don't think she'll get pregnant?

I hope not.

Is she 50?

Tell her to come on in 40.

Tell her how fucking fertile can he be.

She's how old?

45?

Yeah.

Is she post-menopausal?

Say that again?

Do you think she's post-menopausal?

Dead.

Yeah.

All right.

So you ain't nothing to worry about.

You're damn right.

Yeah, you're good, man.

You can go, uh...

Yeah, yeah.

Just, you know, no rubbers, nothing, man.

Just living in that river any day of the week.

Exactly.

Yeah, well, congratulations, man.

We're very happy for you.

We hope everything works out with the marriage.

I hope so.

All right, if she breaks your heart, you let us know.

Put her on the phone, Jonathan.

Yeah, if she breaks your heart, let us know.

We'll kick her ass, all right?

All right, we'll do it.

All right, brother, man.

You take care of yourself.

All right, y'all too.

Yeah, say hi to all your fans.

I'm sorry, you're supposed to do that every time.

I would like to say hello to all my friends and listeners, and I hope y'all have an excellent weekend.

All right, Jonathan.

God bless you, sir.

All right.

God bless y'all.

That's Jonathan, everybody.

Milkman's just singing like a retard.

I am Milkman.

I got to do a retard voice.

I think I got to do a retard voice.

You should do a retard, sure.

I don't know why I don't do all these things.

That was perfect timing with the music, Will.

Good work, man.

You're getting better.

That's the wrong sound effect.

Fuck it.

I ain't doing either, Milkman.

I love you.

98.6 the mouth.

Milkman always sounds like a retard.

Yeah, yeah, I partake the mouth.

98.6 the mouth.

Are we having a good show tonight, do you think?

Is it average?

So far, I have a good time.

I would say.

I'd say we're doing okay.

I'm doing better.

Yeah, you're doing good, Will.

Good work on that.

I'm not trying to cut you off yet.

Your show, you know.

All right.

Good.

We're having a good night here, everybody.

A couple more pranks should be good.

We're going to do another prank here before we take a break.

God answer.

Or maybe we just have to take a caller.

Jeez.

People love this show, man.

Why the hell would Milkman be calling the house?

Man, I don't understand this guy.

He wants to do a prank.

He's going to get a file.

Milkman, you're on the air.

It's Craig.

Craig.

Oh, Craig. Oh, my bad. You know, I see Virgin Islands and I don't know for sure.

What's up, Craig, man? How you doing?

It's cool. It's cool. Everything's cool down here, man.

When you come in and take a trip?

I don't know. I got a next cruise I take. I'll probably be stopping over there in probably St. Thomas, I think.

St. Thomas.

St. Thomas. That's far. You got to take a ferry to get out there.

No, no. You can't take no ferry.

How do you get your car?

It's like four hours, man.

What the fuck? That one sucks living in Virgin Islands. You're stuck in this little island.

How is it four hours to get anywhere?

How is it four hours?

How is it four hours on the ferry to go to St. Thomas?

It's an hour and a half to fly there from Orlando,

and you're going to tell me it takes four hours to get there?

Four hours.

Fuck that shit, man.

I wouldn't want to live down there.

They better have some gambling on that, man.

And they drink water out of these cisterns

because they don't have any natural water on this island,

so they got to take all the rainwater,

and they recycle their piss water, too.

That's just fucking mad.

That's only when it gets, like, real, real, you know, dry.

Man, we won't get used to that fucking world we live in these days, man.

We haven't had one cold day this whole winter out here in Florida.

We can send a pipe from Alaska, but we can't send one to the U.S. version of the island.

I know.

That's, that's...

You should come down here, man.

I'm working on it.

I'm thinking about going down there and spending some time with, uh, with Noki Tits over there.

Yeah, man.

He's like the only, uh, the only guy from the state down here.

We need some new blood, man.

So, uh...

We've got all kinds of inbreeding and shit going on.

It's crazy.

What do you got to do down there?

You guys got a Kmart, right?

Yeah, we got a Kmart, dude.

It's like our only department store.

No, they got a big Kmart down there.

We got a big Kmart and a little Kmart.

Puerto Rico has like a two-story Kmart, man.

It's insane.

What?

Yeah, and they've got like special escalators

where you can put your shopping cart on

and take it to the second floor.

And they have a Sears there that's four stories high.

A Sears in Puerto Rico at the Mall of America.

That sounds like something in Japan.

I don't know, but seriously,

The Sears is four stories high

I think the Macy's is three or four

You know, the JCPenney's like four stories high

It's sick

We got a story whorehouse down there

That's about it

Hang on, I'm sorry

We weren't paying attention

Oh, Craig, what's your

What's your relation to Milkman?

Are you his master?

His slave?

Is he your slave?

No, he's my buddy, man

Oh, that's good, man

Are you the guy with the iPod?

Say what?

Are you the dude with the iPod?

No, no

No, that's not him

Wow, look at Milkman.

I got a bunch of friends now, man.

Look at that.

He's a man, man.

His only friend used to be his cat.

Yeah, I got a couple.

That's good.

Look at Milkman getting out there.

All right, man.

Good for you.

When I came out, he introduced me to all the strippers and shit.

We were real cool.

Strippers.

Oh, Milkman Seacrest.

Milkman.

Is he there now?

You listen to him now.

Someone's crackling over there.

What the hell?

Is that a clone?

Jesus.

All right.

Oh, Craig, I'm glad.

Thank you.

That's a big bag of Fritos.

Whatever, that's disgusting.

That's disgusting.

What are you doing?

Stop.

This is always easy.

What's up with that?

Yeah, hang on.

We've got, um, I've got a video here that's called

How to Avoid Being Arrested by Cops.

Clones, pay attention to this, man.

You might need this information.

That's the one I told you about.

We don't have no cops down here.

I can't hear shit.

Cops are optional, man.

We ain't got no cops down here.

What's a cop?

Yeah, over there, like in Puerto Rico, too,

it's like, cops don't exist.

You can speed wherever you want, except for the highway.

Optional, man.

Yeah.

And they drive those, like, four-wheelers, don't they?

Those really weird Jeep-looking things.

Yeah, we got the cops and explorers.

And explorers, yeah, that's in Puerto Rico.

And they've got, like, full body armor all the time in Puerto Rico, man.

Every cop has, like, fucking body armor.

It's sick.

They got their Kevlar on, like, 24-7.

They're at war.

They're at war, yeah, with each other.

You know there was this video that came out three years ago in Puerto Rico?

These cops, they were going to do a raid on a drug house.

They hit the wrong house.

They hit the one next door that was having a baptism party with, like, 20 members of family.

they went in there with billy clubs and beat everybody up and like threw women on the floor

and they had the wrong house and and they showed the video next door the people the drug dealers

just got away like drove off and they didn't even know starting to sound like cuba starting to know

what it is pretty much puerto rico is a sad sad place yeah so hey craig man thanks for calling in

bro yo no problem all right man take care of yourself spread the word there with all the uh

the virgin islanders cool you know we we accept uh you know people of that race you know we're

open-minded here we've got all we've got an asian here we've got you know yeah we don't we have

pretty much i mean i'm hispanic well you got you got you got african-american in you pesos all right

yeah well and uh milkman is asian don't forget the gringos man but white people clone is a white

person and he's uh i'm part native american dude yeah see we got all man this is a beautiful moment

right here this is a beautiful moment we're all here together and the day after martin luther king

Is that Monday?

The day after.

It's Martin Luther King Day.

How are you going to mess up our one day, man?

How are you going to mess up our one day?

Hey, did you see my Martin Luther King Day tree out there?

You have a Martin Luther King Day tree?

I kept my Christmas tree out until Martin Luther King Day.

You got to take it down on my birthday.

Yeah, okay, yeah, that's when we keep it up there until Monday.

You forgot to water it, man.

No, it's, uh, we don't have that problem anymore.

This one's artificial.

It's a fake one.

You can't pour beer into your tree all year, man.

What's that $5 one from Walmart?

No, it's $35 for Target, all right?

I'm a shop alum.

No, no, wait.

After the 25th, it was like $5.

$3 for the same tree.

Really?

Yeah.

I paid $35 for that Target, man.

Lit.

They were lit up for $10.

Wow.

All right, Craig, we're going to go, man.

Thanks for calling in, bro.

All right, thank you.

All right, man.

Later.

Later, man.

It was fun, man.

It's my fault for having a Christmas tree up on January 19th.

It's half out.

You see the bottom part

Of it's all gone

I started putting it away

Yeah and then the cat

Like finished it up

Fucking cats man

Kept breaking the fucking thing

Hang on I gotta take

These doofuses off of me here

There you go

Doofus and gallon

Fuck you

I don't ever wanna be

On your show again

Yeah whatever

And you're always here

Every week he says this

Clone quits every week

And he comes back

Don't make fun of my friend

Every Thursday

Like at 8 o'clock

Who do I remind you of though

Um

Uh

KDK

No

Who

Thank you very much

That's wrong

Thank you very much

KDK

I'm the best you've ever heard.

KDK is an ass, man.

He pissed me off over the weekend.

I'm not speaking terms with him right now.

Just so you all know right now.

I'm not very happy with him.

Make of that what you wish, but he's got to watch his mouth, motherfucker.

You know what I'm saying?

Tell him how it is, man.

Watch your mouth, man.

Don't be talking back to me.

Don't talk shit to me.

And the same thing goes to Dr. Lego, too.

I don't want to hear anything from him.

I don't need to be hearing that shit, all right?

You shut up, too, Dr. Lego.

You need me.

I work for you.

I work for everybody in the mouth.

I work for both of you, you know.

If you don't want me on, pull the plug.

You know what to do, man.

Don't disrespect me.

None of you disrespect me.

You too, Milkman.

Don't disrespect me either, man.

I'll cut you off.

That's right, man.

We all here in the back at house.

I'll cut you off too, Will.

Here's the baby powder.

I'll cut you off too, Will.

Who's Daryl?

Daryl, we're in the chat room.

Anyway.

Seriously, I love all of you.

KDK's cool.

You know, Lego's cool.

They just sometimes, I gotta let them know who's boss here, you know.

Who's the boss of PC?

That's me.

You know?

Lido's father.

I also like to say

KDK and Lego.

Alright, so that's it.

I said all I'm allowed to say.

Anyway, Clone Man,

when's your next show gonna be?

What's going on with you?

You're getting lazy.

Nah, I just figured out

I fixed my shit today, hopefully.

Alright, man.

Yeah.

So the Clone Homegrown show's coming up.

You know they still got

proof up on the PCR chat

and the PCR, um,

the PCR deal,

the PCR webpage?

He doesn't do a show anymore,

does he?

Got who?

that poop kid you know that kid poop no pimp slut pimp slut that's what i meant there's this

kid on here named poop it is funny he keeps asking play that racist music he's probably

dude asking for racist music he always wants me to play that johnny rebel racist music he's so

stupid i played it once as a joke and he's like that's the best music ever i don't know where

that kid is he talks shit about kitty k's cat that would be poop trying to find you never heard

Johnny Railroad for, man?

Pimplebutt lives right over there in

City.

He lives somewhere on the west coast of Florida.

Yeah, just south of Crystal River, man.

I guess.

Spring Hill.

That's right.

Dude, one of the wind amps crashed, man.

This sucks.

The backup wind amp crashed.

Hang on.

Let me kill it.

Hopefully it doesn't kill the whole show

We should go to the break first

And then do that

Let's do one more prank call

Before we do that shit

Hey, will you play that song for me

On the break

The new Jimi Hendrix song I sent you

Yeah, I gotta find it

Damn it, I forgot

I will play it during the show

I got the Jimi Hendrix and Snoop Dogg thing

Alright, Milkman

Stop moving the mic

Stop moving the mic, motherfucker

motherfucker Jesus all right out of all these out of all these Johnny Rebel songs which one

should we play we got the confetti no I don't want to play that we got none none see this guy

put it on random on random shows up so this one we've done before this is hey remember when we

called the the guy in Alabama the black dude and we were started playing Alabama nigger

this is a bad song that's fine you coughed all over me wow that was before we could play the

the music in the phone calling back there man people make music like this man it's fucked up

all right uh one more prank call then all right uh before we take a break real quick it's getting

late here i gotta be up and have my song for break we're gonna call yes we will play your

song after break i'll do that um we got hot diggity dogs some break during break some angry

asshole answered a 1209 hot diggity dogs oh we got a sexy i don't know but we'll call this angry

angry asshole, alright? Fine? Fine.

Good. We're in agreement. It's excellent. Great.

Um, let me find a song here

to play. We played that

recently. Um,

I don't know. I wanted to play

some ACDC, but I'm not too sure

when I do that.

Yeah, I don't know.

I'm just trying to find something to play.

Ooh, Beat Nuts. I haven't played that in a while.

There we go.

Ooh, you're gonna beat your nuts?

Very good. Very good, man.

That's very mature of you. Will has his

his mature hat on tonight, everybody.

All right, hang on.

Next prank call tonight's coming right up.

Hey, that was pretty quick, man.

Who's this?

This is Valente.

Hey, Valente Garcia.

How you doing?

Valente, what's happening this fine evening, man?

Not much, brother.

How are you, man?

Freaking working, bro.

How bad?

How hard, I'm stupid.

How hard are you working?

You know, man, it's never a dull moment.

Okay, you're being kind of rude to me, though.

Is everything all right between me and you?

Oh, hell yeah, man.

I'm not being rude.

All right.

I mean, people usually aren't nice to me on the phone anymore, you know, because of the count of my weight.

That's nice, dude.

I've been in the same gig you've been in.

Yeah?

I am.

That's awesome, man.

So you're a big guy, too?

Bad?

What's happening?

Nothing.

You sound pretty chill and loose.

You just rub one out, buddy?

I've been rubbing one out, dude.

I've been sitting at my desk for the last three hours, man.

I've got to have a little cocktail, maybe a couple of this, a couple of that to keep me going, man.

At your desk?

Sure.

Do you sell stuff?

I'm a loan consultant for a mortgage company, so I'm in the mortgage industry and finance.

And what's the name of the place Hot Diggity Dogs, man?

Because I used to, about three years ago, for about four years prior, I did concessions at Home Depot.

I had three Home Depot locations, and this big conglomeration came through and purchased all the spots.

Wow.

So I went back into finance.

Hey, man, let me ask you a question.

Question, I've come across myself in a will, an old grocery store that's closed out.

What could I build in there, a church?

Like, who could I market that to?

What do you got going?

A grocery store, an old grocery store, sir.

Where's it located?

Kentucky.

In Kentucky?

Yeah.

Man, I'm from Wyoming.

How am I going to know about Kentucky?

I'm calling for some goddamn advice, man.

Well, it depends.

I mean, it depends on why the grocery store go away.

I mean, there's a reason it went away.

Crime.

Did the traffic go away?

No, there was, like, a hostage situation inside of it,

and then they found all these bugs inside the cereal,

and then the company went bankrupt.

Damn.

Yeah.

And it's also haunted.

Kaboot.

What's that, man?

No, it's a very old building.

It was built in the 1800s.

Make this shit work for you, man.

Take the negative and turn it into a positive.

So I was thinking turning it into a haunted house.

Mm-hmm.

You know?

Yeah, dude, I got nine-year-old twins.

I took them to a haunted house for the first time this year for Halloween.

How old are they, nine years old?

And they just freaking freaked.

Yeah?

Wow, man, well, that's great.

What are you trying to tell me, man?

Nothing, I'm just, I'm on a radio show,

and I was going to give you a prank call, but you were too nice.

I'm sorry, it's just.

Let me ask you a question.

You're in Littleton, Colorado, right?

I am.

What happened over there a few years ago?

Something's coming to mind.

Yeah, Columbine, man.

Oh, that's where it was there?

Frickin' trench coat mafia freaks went through the door and started gunning people down there.

Oh, yeah.

It was friggin' about two, three miles from here.

Oh, that's something.

Don't you guys build missiles out there, too, or something?

Oh, they do all kinds of shit, man.

All the shit we don't even know about, you know?

Isn't there a missile factory there or something?

Don't they build nukes there?

Nah, they used to have Rocky Flats.

They cleaned that out.

They closed that down and spent cleaning it out for the last decade.

Well, shit, good, man.

Yeah, I mean, they got Cheyenne Mountain down in Colorado Springs, man.

the command center of the universe, basically.

Oh, what, of, uh, not NATO, of, uh, NORAD?

Well, yeah, they got the Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs,

and then NORAD is right there under the mountains in Colorado Springs.

Nice.

That's the plan, man.

If you're going to be in the Army, or, I mean, in the military,

you want to be, like, in NORAD or something, you know.

They put you in that big-ass mountain, like it was a standard nuclear attack.

That's the safest job to be right there.

Those freaking towelheads killing people and...

Oh, watch out.

Sir, I don't mean to tell you anything, but this is a Muslim-oriented show.

It is?

Yes, sir, it is.

Well, you know, it should have happened.

I don't know.

Can you say your name, and I'm listening to Goober and the Snothead on 98.6 The Mouth?

98.6 The What?

98.6 The Mouth.

Go ahead.

98.6 The What?

The Mouth.

98.6 The Mouth.

The Mouth?

Yeah.

We're here in Littleton.

No way.

Yes, sir.

Put on your dial right now.

Listen to us live.

98.6 the mouth 98.6 the mouth tell him we're on hd radio yeah we're on hd radio man between the

dial so uh so there it is man congratulations you've uh won the tickets what'd i win the

tickets to you won the tickets to uh what is it over here the tickets to ride no it's the ultra

music festival march 23rd and 24th in uh miami uh miami florida congratulations sir

Sweet, one trip, tickets, all accommodations.

It's a beautiful thing.

Yeah, you got free fly and free accommodations.

Congratulations.

Yeah, he's got, like, what?

What is it, 25 to 11, and he wins this.

That's right, man.

That's right.

We're fucking crazy over here, you know what I mean?

So, congratulations, man.

Right on.

All right, so we're...

See those in the mail?

Yeah, well, I'm going to take you off the air real quick here,

and we're going to go to a song, everybody,

but what's your name again, man?

My name's Patrick.

All right, Patrick, we're going to take you off the air.

We're going to take your information, and we're going to be all good.

All right, man?

All right, so this is a little bit of Trick Daddy here coming at you on 98.6.

Come out.

Killer.

All right, you there, dude?

I'm here.

All right, awesome, man.

Congratulations, bro.

You kidding me?

No, no, seriously.

How did that come about, man?

No, we're just calling people around here in town, and, you know, you just happened.

and we got one of your business cards here out of a punch bowl,

and we got you down at the Ultra Music Festival.

You like techno, man?

I didn't like anything.

I'm in, you know, whatever.

Awesome.

Well, we're sending you to Liberty City.

That's right outside of Miami.

All right, we got it.

You got Deep Dish, Junkie XL, Shiny Toy Guns, and Miss Kitten are going to be down there.

I don't know if you've ever heard of them, but...

Oh, hell, look out, man.

I'm going to be nuts.

Oh, you're going to be free on...

This is March 23rd and 24th.

It's a Friday and Saturday.

We're going to be flying you down there.

You're going to be staying in Liberty City, sir.

Dude, I'll be free anytime you want me to be free.

I got flexibility.

That's the name of the game.

Awesome, man.

All right, so why don't you let us know real quick.

How can we get a hold of you?

You want to come down?

Actually, you want to come down to the studio, sir?

I do.

You got to make it down here probably tomorrow morning.

Tomorrow morning?

Yeah, tomorrow morning is the best time to get that, sir.

All right.

All right, so can you be here?

I can do that, man.

All right, you got a pen?

Write it down?

I do.

All right, let me know when you're ready.

I'm ready.

All right, you're going to be going.

Yeah, just give me the address.

Yes, they can throw it in the map.

All right.

What's that?

All right, awesome.

Okay, well, make sure you get the zip code right, all right?

80123.

Yeah, that's my zip code.

All right, man, we'll see you here tomorrow, dude.

Just ask for Scooter, all right?

What are you talking about?

Fourth floor.

Scooter.

Fourth floor.

I didn't get your address, man.

Dude, ask for Scooter on the fourth floor.

We're at the front desk.

He'll lay you down to the prize area, and you've got to fill out the W-2, and you're good to go, man.

Fourth floor.

All right, well, everybody, thanks for being on the air tonight.

We're going to see you guys later.

Peace out, everybody, and thank you for listening.

Hello?

See how you are?

Okay.

You didn't give me the address, homeboy.

Dumbass.

Hang on, let me make sure the...

I'm sorry, I had to take that somewhere at the end.

I don't know.

He's probably thinking, man.

All right, we're back to program in 3, 2, 1, and action.

You didn't give me the address, homeboy.

What happened?

Nothing.

Was that believable at all?

I think he bought it, right?

I'm going to say he bought it.

That was great, dude.

record that one part

you look so high

you fell for it

you gotta clip out

that part

it's like

give me the address

homeboy

and then put

manhouselive.com

there you go

see

fourth floor

scooter

I didn't get your address

man

dude ask for scooter

on the fourth floor

we'll have the front desk

he'll lay you down

to the prize area

and you gotta fill out

the W-2

and you're good to go

man

alright well everybody

thanks for being on the air

tonight

we're gonna see you guys

later

peace out everybody

and thank you for listening

hello

see how you are

Okay.

You didn't give me the address, homeboy.

We'll call him again next week or something.

He'll be like, dude, man, you're going to pick up these tickets, man.

What the hell?

We're going to sell them.

We've got some hot women here dying to meet him, man.

Oh, man, that's too funny.

That is too funny.

All right, we're going to take a break here,

and we're going to come back and do a little more show before we call it a night.

Play my songs.

I'm going to work on it, all right?

Don't get yourself.

Oh, wait, wait.

That's not him.

oh that's crazy fucker man

maybe he's got his accordion again

remember last time he called

crazy fucker and his crazy accordion

I want to hear my Snoop Dogg song

you know he heard we were going to a break

that's probably what it is

so we're going to take that break

he'll call back or we'll call him

so there it is

it's Friday December

no it's January 19th

12.36am

stuck in the past

Stuck in the past.

2006, everybody.

Yeah.

Yeah, we'll grab back after this, folks.

What a suck-ass year.

It won't end.

You better not call the real damn police.

Madhouse Radio is live Thursday nights at 10 p.m. Eastern.

I don't have time for your bullshit.

Fuck you, man.

Be sure to visit us online at madhouselive.com.

Oh, yeah? Come over here. I'm going to tell you.

You want to talk to your mom?

Fuck you, bitch. Motherfucker.

Okay, this is the song that Milkman

begged for us to play. This better be good.

I haven't heard it yet. Yeah, man.

Milkman. K.K. likes this song too, man.

This is rap music, man.

This is rap music, everybody.

I'm Milkman. I know rap music.

Good dog, man. Alright.

Alright. Anyway, we're back, everybody.

A few more prank calls and a few more

topics and we're going to call it a night.

Anything going on in the world we got to discuss? Milkman?

Will? Anything you know of?

Fark, it's Fark it real quick.

Let's do a Fark run here real quick, huh?

Pull that over here.

Hey, man, we're having the annual coconut contest, man.

And we sent the promo to you there also, the coconut contest song.

Yeah, the coconut contest.

Interesting.

Yeah, I'm really excited about that.

Yeah.

Yeah, you've got the promo, man.

All right, well, a house passes a tax hike to big oil.

Yeah, no more subsidies for big oil.

Fuck yeah, motherfuckers.

Kiss my ass.

Fuck you, big oil.

Yeah, fucking billion-dollar record profits, man.

We're paying three fucking dollars a gallon.

Fucking bullshit.

You got Colbert.

Stephen Colbert was on the O'Reilly Factor tonight, man.

Did you know that?

Here's the wild fucker from California.

No, it's from somewhere else.

I don't know.

It's from Virginia.

Hang on.

I don't know what's going on here.

Hey, what phone is that?

All right, let's do that.

Who the hell is this?

Spirit, what's up, man?

What's up, man?

You come across like the dead over here all of a sudden.

I hate my hair.

That's something he would say.

Where the hell is that kid anyway today?

He's dead.

Is he alive still?

Hopefully not.

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

Big statement right there, man.

The next thing I know, I'm going to look over to the chat room and I'm going to be banned.

Yeah.

I'm kind of right.

Fuck you, man.

That's not true.

Whatever.

He bans you all I'm banning you, all right?

So eat it.

All right.

So eat it.

Eat it to death.

Eat it.

He's got my back.

That's right.

I got your back.

You got good friends here.

So yeah, did you send me numbers?

I'm assuming you sent me some numbers, right?

A while ago.

Yeah, I sent numbers, but they were confirmed a long time ago.

Shit, I wasn't paying attention, man.

I get in this bad run, I don't pay attention, I fuck up.

A guy named Cameron.

Any businesses you might have sent that may be still open?

No, I didn't send any businesses.

Damn, just people?

Yeah, just people under, like, 18.

There's one 18 that's a teacher from a school, but...

Wow.

So you're from Virginia, huh?

Yep.

Right on.

How the hell did you know?

Oh, it just comes up on the thing.

Dang, I got the details in front of me, but that's some shit right there, man.

Virginia's an interesting town.

Interesting state.

What's the...

Are West Virginians the ones who are dumb compared to Virginians, or is it the other way around?

Well, no, man.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Right up Virginia.

I'm in the middle of a nigger town.

Wow.

Well, that's something.

Yeah, I'm afraid to leave the house.

Aw, that's sad, man.

I'm sorry to hear that.

You shouldn't be afraid to leave the house in America, man.

Are you armed?

Do you have weapons in your house?

I have a knife, and that's all.

That's all you need?

Yeah, all I need, bro.

I'm going to go outside and get boned in the ass.

I'll be like, oh, I didn't have a knife.

Where's the army knife?

I want to learn how to do throwing knives, man.

You know what I mean?

When you throw it at the tree.

I don't know any of that shit.

Yeah, like that one guy in the movie with Whitney Houston.

The guy from Dancing with the Wolves.

What's his face?

Remember, he had throwing knives.

He was throwing the knives.

That's a good talent.

Throwing knives.

Kevin Costner.

That's the guy.

Very good.

All right, clone.

Ding for you, man.

Right on.

Was that clone who said that?

Yeah, I'm eating, man.

Yeah, I'm eating.

All right, dude.

White Castle Cheeseburgers.

Yeah, the monkeys.

So, dude, I'm sorry we didn't call your number like we said we were going to, man.

No, that's all good, dude.

That's my bad.

Well, I didn't say I was going to, but I meant to do that.

I'll get you next week.

If Rev comes around, well.

Yeah, well, I feel bad.

You confirmed him and I didn't do it, man.

I didn't come through.

That's my bad.

I don't run into that kind of shit, you know?

You know, I like the people.

I do stuff for the people.

All right, man?

All right.

All right, Hellstree, thanks for calling in, bro.

No problem, man.

All right, take care of yourself.

Well, that was something, wasn't it?

I guess.

Did they talk about that in Virginia?

That's well as hell, man.

He's all right.

That's something right there.

He lives in the middle of nigger town, he said.

Wow.

He said that in Raw Racist, too.

Living nigger town.

That came out really, really...

Let's have some phone sex, man.

I don't know.

Well, good, man.

Good to talk to you, man.

It's good to hear from the people.

If you want to call in, Milkman will give you the number to call in right now, just like

Jonathan did.

That's right.

All right, 1-2-3-4-5-6.

No, it's 888-278-8509.

Give us a call on our dime.

It's just a little bit of time.

All right, what he said.

All right, Liberty City.

That's a ghetto in Miami, isn't it, Will?

You don't know?

I got stuck again.

I told the guy I was going to send us Liberty City.

You were dazing out?

Yeah.

Yeah, but I do it all the time, and I'm doing the show.

Isn't that sad?

I'm used to listening to it.

Yeah, it gets kind of scary.

I wish I could just listen to my show sometimes, you know?

Just chill.

Maybe not.

Yeah.

Yep.

Okay.

Clone, man, where are you going to take a bong hit?

We haven't heard one all night.

What the fuck, man?

Falling behind.

I'm eating, man.

Leave me alone.

Hey, it's Crazy Fuck.

Finally.

We'll keep this music going for Crazy Fucker.

Oh, man, sorry.

And that's something you don't do, Will.

You just don't do that here.

Clone, uh, Crazy Fucker, how you doing, man?

Hey, great. How you doing?

I'm doing good, brother. You sound real old again. What's going on?

I sound really old?

You again. Real lately.

Like I told you, man, I had a hard day at work.

You don't work.

I sell dildos door to door.

That's nice, man. Do you sniff them?

Oh, I don't sniff them. I just sell them. It's a good quality product.

You do demonstrations, man.

All right, hang on. Let me get these guys connected with you here.

Man, so what's going on? Are you still on the wagon?

Last we heard from you, you were on the wagon.

What wagon was that?

The I-don't-drink-alcohol-or-nothing wagon.

Is that a wagon?

Well, that's what they call it.

You're following the 10-step plan, you said.

Well, I got my tail in front of me, but I'll wag it for you.

But, hey, how's everybody there?

We're doing good.

Will's here.

Say hi to Will real quick.

Will, man, I really enjoy a lot of your stuff, sir.

I really do, man.

Man, when you do that, Black Lady, that's some of the best, funniest shit I ever heard.

All right, thank you.

It's intelligence.

He's talking about nugs.

I know he's talking about nugs.

You got the wrong guy crazy.

I know.

I figured.

But it's okay.

Well, how about their clone homegrown?

They all look the same.

How about clone there?

Hey, clone homegrown.

Hey, clone, you need some money, dude?

I'll send you a hundred bucks if you send me some herb.

He's eating right now.

All right.

Of course, like, whatever.

All right, hey, Carlito.

Yeah.

I hear you're going to college.

Yes, I am.

Why are you getting louder?

Well, are you working on the death beam or the American dream?

The American dream that doesn't exist anymore.

I'm making my own dream, the Carlito dream.

Hey, your last caller, that really depressed me when he said he was afraid to leave his house.

That's a sad thing, man.

That is, because you're right.

In America, no man should be afraid to leave his house.

That's right.

We should just be afraid to leave our country, God damn it.

Hey, hey, hey, that dude is paranoid.

Hey, hey, I'm going to put a super blessing on the last caller

because that did exercise a little bit of humility.

It's better to leave your house a little bit paranoid than it is to leave your house

thinking you're 10 foot tall and bulletproof, right?

That's right, man.

man, you don't want to get that kind of complex going on, you know, treating people like that,

is that it, wow, here's what I wanted to say, can we do a prank call, yeah, but can you play

your accordion during it, yeah, I will, get that accordion, give us the tune real quick,

this guy has the crazy accordion, you ever heard it yet, yeah, my accordion is,

it's my girlfriend's squeeze box, you didn't have a girlfriend's squeeze box, yeah,

She got on her chest!

My grandfather had a squeeze box, like the pirate.

And I play it all night!

Right on man, you play the squeeze box all night?

That's why I have to s-

The double fun bags?

Alright, play a crazy tune, come on, so we can do a prank call already.

We all live in America,

and we're all different colors,

some of us paint our faces,

try not to look like the others,

but in America,

you can pretty much do what you please,

As long as you do it to yourself, then you'll not get in the big squeeze.

But don't piss off the goddamn piece of shit, motherfuckers.

He's still amazing.

He's still there.

He's definitely a Republican lover.

He's asking you to PM him, man.

He's got a special message for you.

I got something special.

Who wants to be here for you?

Who?

What?

Con Con.

Who the fuck is Con Con?

Con Con.

Yeah, look over in the chat, man.

Okay.

Okay, is that the federal agent who's about to buzz me?

I sent him a, uh.

No, not that guy.

Okay.

That's Crazy Fucker's buddy.

That's Crazy Fucker's buddy?

That's excellent.

No, Kong Kong, man.

Message him.

I did.

All right, done.

We're almost out of here.

Clone, any thoughts on how good, you know, being sober is doing on old Crazy Fucker over there?

I see him improving a lot.

Dude, just call me Poop for the rest of the night, okay?

All right, Poop, whatever you say, man.

man. What's clone's problem?

That clone's in his tizzy? Poopy.

I don't know what's wrong with the clone. I guess clone's all pissed off.

Whatever. Too bad.

Too bad. No, it's just Osama

fucked me. Oh, I see, I see.

Sorry, man. Sorry about that.

We gotta do one more call here. We're gonna call it

a night.

We got a Quickie Mart in California.

Awesome. I don't know what I'm gonna do,

but I'm about to do it. Hang on, everybody. Last prank

call of the night. It's coming right up. You ready for the last

call of the night, Milkman? Alright, man.

Let's break it loose. I don't know, Will.

That's it.

Show's over, man.

Sorry, Milkman.

Sorry, clone.

We ended on a sad note.

No, no.

Well, we did okay tonight.

We didn't do too bad, but I got to get going anyway.

Sorry.

Yes, I'm going to play that song.

Yes, I'm going to find it right now.

Don't worry about it.

We're going to play it at the end right here.

We're going to go out.

It's a coconut song, man.

Hang on.

Fucking, this song is so stupid.

Hang on.

It's forcing me to do this.

Hang on.

I got to go to...

All right.

Just do this Hendrix song alone, then.

We did that already.

I'm playing that song again.

You didn't play the whole thing.

You only played like 30 seconds of it.

We played it under everybody, man, while we were ending the show.

No one could hear it.

Well, it's still played.

Say your goodbyes, man.

Take us out of here.

Goodbye.

Is that it?

Thank you, everybody, for listening.

We love your sweet kisses.

All right, whatever.

We love you, Craig.

You're doing a bad job tonight.

We love all you crazy coconuts out there.

I want to thank everybody who called in.

I want to thank Craig called in.

Jonathan called in.

A crazy fucker called in.

Yeah, a crazy fucker did call in.

Clone, I want to thank you for calling in.

Thank you, man.

Thank you for having me, Carlito.

Missed you, Madman, this week.

Maybe you'll be back with us next week.

Thank you for the chat, man.

It went down for a couple hours today.

Don't know if we got hacked or not.

Jesus Christ, Milkman.

The responsibilities on the show is what you're lacking tonight.

God damn it.

Milkman's just making crazy noise over there.

He doesn't understand what's going on in the air.

All right, Milkman, what's up?

up what's going on yeah what's up oh it's very awkward very awkward moment i had a good night

everybody yeah will will's here yeah i forgot about will where are my sound effects at i don't

know where's will at this is will sound effect uh which sound effect do you want i don't know

captain caveman i don't have captain caveman i gotta get captain caveman i'll give you that one

all right milkman so say goodbye to everybody man what's with the normal goodbyes we're waiting

in here on you man all right man i want to thank all my friends out there especially mr madman

who's in absentia but we do love you man thanks a lot for the great service you provide here with

irc lazy man where everybody can stop in smash a jar in the mouth and come back and shake hands

if your man ever gets lifted thanks a lot to big mr madman also i'd like to thank all our great

friends out there in the madhouse especially mr nuts a special guest tonight great calls man

And our new special guest, Mr. Will.

Thank you.

Long time missing member, Johnny Appleseed.

A truck with the big convoys into eternity.

Amen to that.

Mr. Clone, you did a wonderful job.

Mr. Big Bomb Hit.

Especially, I'd like to thank our fearless leader right here in the Madhouse.

Yeah.

Mr. Carly and the Generalissimo of the Madhouse.

Hey, hey.

Shut up.

God bless Carly.

Hey, thank you.

All right.

There we go.

I don't need thanks, everybody.

We're done. We'll be here next week, everybody.

I especially like to thank Craig,

my girl, Sweet Kitchen.

But all of you out there

who really matter to us,

the listeners, thank you so much

for tuning in and taking part

in our interactive entertainment.

Are you done? Stay tuned.

Finish it up. Stay tuned.

Coming up next Thursday, The Madhouse.

We love you. We'll see you then.

Back to you, Big Carlito.

though coming up on uh madhouse radio is uh rotation so be sure to listen to that madhouse

live.com and uh yeah who's on tomorrow's yeah man is zola on tomorrow zola on tomorrow's oh i don't

know zola's on tomorrow maybe and i guess jupe is on tomorrow too on so check it out man i think

everybody's on tomorrow dr lego's on tomorrow you know and uh revs on tomorrow everybody's on

on every minute milkman's on now yeah i love you guys something like that how come we didn't do

any calls from leticia williams leticia wallace is a stupid black guy he's not that funny i don't

do a good black voice man this doesn't work it's it's a dumb black thing i don't know it's i don't

know whatever hey you heard michael vick got arrested we didn't do any calls from michael

Michael Vick got caught trying to smuggle, like, resin onto a plane in the Miami airport.

I think it was Monday or Tuesday.

Dude, I thought he had money.

Why is he smoking resin?

He's an idiot.

Ron Mexico.

He's so stupid, man.

I'm smoking resin.

That makes $3 million a year.

No, he got to the airport security, okay?

He was carrying a bottle of water.

He refused to throw away the bottle of water.

They said, sir, you have to get rid of the water.

It's not allowed.

He didn't want to do it.

He threw it away reluctantly, got on the plane, left.

And then when they checked the bottle, it had marijuana resin in it, in a secret compartment.

It wasn't weed.

It was like some marijuana residue.

Oh, on the bottle.

Inside the secret compartment in the bottle.

A secret compartment.

Oh, I see.

No one.

Why would he carry resin, though?

That's what I'm trying to say.

I make $3 million a year, and I have resin.

He makes like $33 million a year, I think.

Whatever.

He's got like a big...

He probably had a bowl or something in it, and it just had some of the residue left.

No, he turned it into one of them quick bombs.

It had a hole in the side, and he just passed that bitch up.

I guess, man.

Well, this is the guy who has herpes, right?

And he was getting his medication under the name Ron Mexico.

Ron Germany.

Ron Mexico.

This is Joe America.

I got herpes.

I'm not...

Who?

Michael who?

That's on me, man.

This is Rotisserie Wallace.

Hey, hey, hey.

I love you, Dad.

All right, whatever.

We're talking too much shit.

We're out of here.

Thanks.

My special recipe right there.

We're out of here.

Thank you, everybody.

Thanks, Lussel Loser.

Thanks for the show, man.

Yeah, shut up.

Later, clone.

You don't talk to me like that, bitch.

I don't even know who the fuck you are.

Put your man on the phone, I said.

What are you crying for?

Did someone die?

Ma'am?

Yes?

I have gas.

Listen.

Oh.

Madhouse Radio is live Thursday nights at 10 p.m. Eastern.

Why don't you shut the hell up?

Fuck you! Fuck you fucking piece of shit!

Be sure to visit us online at madhouselive.com.

Calls (6, 31 min of 1 h 33 min)

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