2007-01-25 Show

And who plays What Happens in America?

Well, we steamed your ass in World War II.

What do you have to do?

We never did.

And who helped you out just now?

You piss off, woman.

Don't talk to me like that.

We don't need you anyway, bitch.

God, fuck you.

Call me a stinky, stinky fucker.

You are listening to the Madhouse Radio Podcast.

This is G-Man.

Hello.

Listen to the music.

Man.

Now we gotta start all over again.

Hang on, folks.

This sucks.

I'm just playing.

Um, hey.

This sucks.

No music, no nothing.

No Milkman.

What's up, Milkman?

How you doing, Milkman?

What's going on man

Madman you sit there and you respect Milkman

You're number two

Number two Madman is

We need music what the fuck

What's it called

What's it called that I play the intro right

I need to get my miracle ear

Worked on

Sweetkiss has borrowed it

And it ain't working no more

You don't talk to me like that

There we go

Ain't that right

We got phone cards

Yeah, we can work on phone cards

I bet you Milkman has a phone card

Milkman, you got a phone card?

Of course

What are you worried about, man?

I was just going to help out

Milkman owns a phone card

If we go and buy one of your t-shirts online

Again, we have t-shirts, mugs

That's right

wife feeders,

boxers,

stash boxes,

and all donations.

When you buy there,

we get a small portion

of what comes in,

so make sure you show up

and look at

madhouseradiolive.com

and buy a t-shirt,

promote our show,

and have the proceeds

go to the Down Syndrome Association.

There you go.

For a cure for milkman's cat.

He's a mongoloid.

Yeah, we gotta save

the mongoloids, everybody.

God, this is going to suck.

This is going to suck tonight.

Is this down your foot?

I don't know.

I'm going to kick the phone.

Yeah.

Hey, everybody.

We're here.

Try baking and go on the phone.

I'm sorry we're late, but we're here.

So stop complaining.

We are at Madhouse Radios.

Madhouse Radios are here.

First of all, thank you for cutting the music, Will.

Hey, it's Hilt the World.

Will's here.

Say hi to Will, everybody.

What's up, everybody?

Yeah, Will's here.

We got weak applause.

Weak applause.

Milkman's here.

What's up, Milkman?

All right.

What are you saying, Mr. Carlito?

Good to hear you.

We're going to have a wild show tonight, everybody.

Sure we are.

Yeah.

And Madman's here, too.

Madman, what do you say there?

Hey, Carlito.

How's it going?

I'm good.

Welcome to the Madhouse, everybody.

God bless you, Madman.

God bless you, sir.

There we go.

What's up?

I can't find these.

There we go.

Smoke weed every day.

There we go.

Every day.

Not me anymore because I quit again.

Oh, yeah.

I quit.

It's been a week.

Yeah, we'll see how long I last this time.

I've got a week.

I told everybody.

I'm going to last a whole week.

Tomorrow I'm making a phone call.

Matter of fact.

Is Will an enabler?

No, he's not actually.

He just brought a bunch of beer.

That's all I did.

Hey, thanks for bringing alcohol.

No problem, man.

That's what I'm here for.

Clone doesn't hear anymore.

Clone quit.

Clone said he doesn't want to be associated with us anymore.

He doesn't like us.

So there it is.

are you for real no he just said he's still mad at me i don't know what no he's just he told me

yesterday or the day before or someday this week i don't know the day ended in in day but uh he said

that uh he was not going to be with us for the time being that he's got his own thing going on

and uh i guess that's it so there's clone clone is gone everybody well cool cool oh he said cool

cool over there man so uh so yeah no i mean he's got his own thing that's cool that's cool

that's good for him he's got his own thing going on good pal hey he'll be back he'll be back i'd

like to welcome back tuck to into the fold tuck's on the air hey tuck how you doing tuck no tuck's

in the uh tuck's been working hard on the uh cd cover for the uh cd that may or may not come out

yes sir so look out for that uh milkman is sending in a phone card all right milkman good work

You are the man.

The truth is Dr. Lego said that

Clone wasn't allowed on the air anymore on our show.

I don't understand why.

Dr. Lego wants to kick us off the air.

He wants to take this show off.

He said if I don't come through...

So if you guys want to keep listening to Madhouse Radio

on PCR,

if you want to keep listening to Madhouse Radio on PCR,

you've got to tell Lego to keep us on

because I guess he doesn't want...

He doesn't have love for us anymore.

What is our today's talk?

Sorry guys

So yeah

You guys need to email

DrLego at

DrLego at gmail.com

And let him know to please keep this show on the air

Because he's trying to kick us off

Other than that we're hanging out in the chat rooms

So check out the chat rooms

And madhouselive.com

Has the

Different messaging softwares

And links

I do yeah

Who was the guy that put

In Living Color right

He always said Breastises

Remember that guy

Oh I don't know

All I remember is Handyman

Oh that was cool man

You don't remember

Yeah man that was

Dave what's the guy's name

You guys are pretty Breastises

You don't remember the dude

He's got three names

David something something

Oh David Alan Greer

David Alan Greer

He'd be in jail

Breastises

Yeah okay now I remember

Alright alright

He would probably call people

From the table in the jail

And he'd call

He's in jail

And if Frank called people on the payphone, he'd be like, do you have big breastises like that?

He's so stupid.

Like, yeah, okay.

Does you have big breastises?

I need audio.

You better not call my girl Sweet Kisses no more.

I got to get that whole, the whole, all the seasons, man.

Is it on DVD?

Hey, Ben had that on DVD for like the last five years.

Really?

Yeah.

Shit, I got to burn that, man.

You know?

That's right.

I want to see that, man.

You kids out there don't know about Living Color,

but that was groundbreaking

at the time.

You can do it.

That was some great shit.

Yeah.

All right.

Man, you never seen

black comedians

and white people

and everybody getting crazy

and hanging out together.

The Fly Girls, remember?

You know.

Oh, J-Lo

with the big booty

was on there.

That's what's up.

Yeah, that's right.

And Damon Wayans.

No one knows.

What does Damon Wayans

do anymore?

He had a sitcom

and it's gone, right?

He still does all the producing

for all his little stuff.

He does?

I don't know right now, but he's always into something.

He just got done doing White Girls and Scary Movie 3.

That's not Damon Wayans, though.

All the Wayans brothers live together.

They do?

They all produce together.

Okay, you got Damon Wayans.

Keenan Ivory Wayans is the head guy, right?

Yeah, Keenan Ivory Wayans.

And then Sean Wayans.

Marlon Wayans, Sean Wayans, the girl Wayans.

I don't know all their names.

That movie, Don't Be a Menace, South Central, while drinking your juice in the hood.

hood yeah that's a good movie too that's a good movie too we recommend all these movies here man

long island iced tea yeah what what's what brand is that okay this is chi chi's long island wasn't

that a restaurant back in the day chi chi's chi chi's and chong's i don't know no chi chi's was

a restaurant it was like the old the old chili's and then chili's took over chi chi's i have no

clue i think they merged at least we uh lee's and cheese and then they became i don't know

something like that so uh yeah phil connors in the chat room says that uh and crack dr lego needs

to cancel billy murrah oh wait we're not on regular radio i ain't gotta watch my language

you know who the heck phil connors is that's saigon ho chi minh himself so yeah i don't know

i don't know we got a lot of angry people uh we're gonna try to do a show tonight we're having

We're having a lot of technical difficulties.

I'm not feeling well.

So we apologize in advance.

We're starting almost an hour late.

45 minutes late.

It's 11.59.

Two hours.

I'm working on it, man.

My schedule is out of control.

I'm going to try and help him out.

You know what?

We're going to have to get on the schedule.

I'm going to try to do the little producing, get some stuff prepared to help you out, man.

You've got pool over there at work.

Why don't you get me a nice schedule?

I don't got pool, man.

man. It's just I've been there a while.

Whose dick do you have to suck?

Nobody's, man. I don't do that

stuff, man. It's bureaucratic.

If you talk crap about other people that

they don't like, then they like

you for talking crap about other people.

Who do they not like? And do they not like me?

Because I never get a shout out. We don't want to do all this

on the radio. You know what I'm saying?

We want to get into the whole work thing. We'll talk about

that some other time, man. I heard they don't like

Milkman. He's got bad credit.

Milkman has bad credit.

So, Madman, what's going on with the skating business, man?

Are you thrashing?

I haven't been skating recently.

I was snowboarding last week.

Oh, that's right.

It's snowing up there and shit.

Hey, man.

It's fucking cold, isn't it?

It's cold all over the country.

Right now, we're at 44 degrees.

You know what?

We're going to have the weather session.

It's clear skies, zero wind per hour, and it's about 44 degrees out.

We're the warmest in the United States at this time.

Except for Milkman, he's in the Virgin Islands.

Well, okay.

That's the red-headed stepchild of the United States.

78 degrees.

78, bastard.

We were 70 today.

I got two cranes.

We didn't hit 70.

We were 70 this afternoon.

We didn't hit 65 today, man.

Yes, we did.

It was cold.

Not midday.

10, 12 o'clock this afternoon.

I don't know because I don't have AC in my car, so I know for a fact when it's hot.

It wasn't hot today.

We're talking to the beer can.

Hey, you there.

Yo.

How you doing?

juke says chi-chis is still around chi-chis has some good salsa that's what that was a

shit right there chi-chi salsa oh yeah i like always like their um ranchero enchiladas oh yeah

i didn't know that was the thing that's good man we gotta get some pace and it's because it's made

in new york new york city new york city says that they have chi-chis and chilies in indy

holy crap man that's something what's better chi-chis or chilies chilies chilies oh chi-chis

by far i hate chilies i get cold food all the time chilies i don't think i've ever been to a

chi-chi's i've been to like a chucky cheese but you know that's about as close as i got that's

no good chucky cheese is no good either that's good that's a bad pizza get it it's worse than

chichi's too after they win the super bowl yeah good chucky cheese is worse than uh hungry howie's

hungry howie's is like really crazy you told me that is hungry howie's national or is this

Yeah, well, they're regional.

Hunker Howie's is a nasty pizza.

It's like ketchup bread.

It's like school pizza.

You can only get one type of crust, butter cheese.

Everything that you eat, garlic, they burn the garlic every time.

Yeah, it's like a crispy, nasty garlic bread.

Oh, no, it's like burnt garlic.

Oh, that's the nastiest stuff ever.

Well, Joop says now they make salsa cheese.

See, I told you the salsa's a big thing.

Well, thank you, Joop, man.

And that last prank call we played right before we started the show,

uh that was a jupe call from 2005 wow yeah man that was before uh before jupe was in high school

i think so i heard a call the other day this kid jupe man he was like 12 years old when he was

doing it he sounded really young but he was real funny back then this kid jupe he's got talent he's

got the juice man we should start calling juice instead of jupe jupe change your name man juice

Joop, joop, joop, joop, joop, joop, joop, joop, hoops, hoops, hoops, hoops.

God, this is a crazy night.

So, yeah, if you want to get a hold of us, the toll-free line is open.

Please do call in because I do not feel like doing prank calls that much.

I don't want to be putting the spot tonight.

I'm under a lot of pressure.

And Will does not like the phone.

I'm not saying I don't like the phone.

I can't come up with the ideas on top of my head sometimes.

I'm not planning.

I have to plan stuff out.

I'm not funny.

It's bad, though, you know?

I'm not funny on the phone.

I'm trying.

He respects the phone.

You know what?

When we go off air on this weekend, since I got three days off, I'll make some during the day.

There you go.

You know what I'm saying?

No, not record.

Just get some practice in and get my confidence up, because I think that's what I'm missing.

It's important to practice.

People like Jonathan don't realize that.

But, hey, if you want to call in, the toll-free line is, I don't know, is it open?

I don't care.

Oh, just so you know, we got 100 different numbers from misery.

Missouri.

Who wouldn't live in Missouri?

I don't know, but it's called Missouri.

Carlito, look in your aim.

I sent you the number.

Oh, baby.

My old friend, Debra Mansfield.

That bitch.

Debra Mansfield.

Charlie and Pat.

That's cool.

All right, good.

You know, he got married.

So I hear it's a Pamela, huh?

Congratulations.

Yeah, and it's not an Anderson.

Well, that's good.

We don't want to mess.

She's got, doesn't she have like syphilis four or something like that or AIDS two?

he's got some kind of weird disease seriously oh there's gonna die of it instead of him

yeah toll free line is ringing already and who would it be who who would it be you guys guess

anybody all right let's just talk to jonathan let me get the i can't wait for crazy bastard

to call i don't know where jonathan's from he's from north carolina jonathan you're on the air

What's up, Carlitos?

Hey, man.

What do you say, man?

What are y'all up to?

Nothing.

Where are you at tonight?

I'm at home.

Where's that, Alabama?

Hope, Florida.

Oh, you're in Florida.

All right.

Yeah.

He's always moving.

He drives a school bus, too, man.

Oh, that's right.

He's got the party bus.

Jonathan's party bus.

You got the party bus, and do you got the video camera, and just be going to Miami

and have the girls come on and show you the titties?

You ever think about starting a party bus, man?

You've got to do that, man.

I wish.

And then sell the videos online for $19.99 and get two videos,

and then you're subscribed for six years.

Jonathan's PartyBus.com, everybody.

Hey.

Jonathan's Bang Bus.

Oh, the Bang Bus.

Just to let you know, your messengers are not signed in.

Son of a cock.

Are you for real?

Which ones aren't signed in?

I'm on all of them, man.

AIM is signed in, but your Yahoo and MSN is not signed in.

Oh, man, everybody panicked.

Oh, look at that.

They're not.

Holy shit.

So the Yahoo is Madhouse PCU Radio.

The AIM is Madhouse Radio, right?

And then Hotmail?

No, MadhouseLive.com.

God damn it.

MadhouseLive at Hotmail.com is the MSN, right, Jonathan?

Yes.

And the ICQ is 347039711.

Who the hell uses ICQ?

Why do you do that?

347039711.

Yeah.

If you're an ICQ.

I thought you were using Gizmo also.

Oh, Gizmo. That's something. Gizmo. Poor Gizmo, man.

We need a new fucking Goonies. Not Goonies. Was it Goonies?

Was it Goonies? No, no, no. I'm confusing Goonies.

You're talking about Gremlins.

Gremlins. Yeah, we need a new Gremlins movie.

Yeah, now you got me saying Goonies.

We need a new Goonies movie, too, man.

Yeah.

Goonies is a great movie.

It's like a reunion.

Yeah, the Goonies reunion.

You know what I want to do with the camera?

Look at the camera!

I don't know. I remember the Truffle Shuffle.

Wasn't that Goonies?

Baby Roon?

Yeah, people just cut to me all the time.

Now the phone, see, the phone's cutting out now.

Holy shit.

No, I am touching it with my leg.

I'm molesting the phone.

Yeah, so Jonathan, man, you should really look into starting a party bus, man.

I'm going to see about doing that.

I just need the right type of bus to do that.

All right, we'll put in a disco ball.

A big yellow bus with the word school bus on the back.

Oh, yeah, disco ball and a helicopter pad on the top.

Okay, I'll see what I can do.

You let us know, man.

Yeah, we'll call up the Madhouse Party Bus, man.

That would be awesome, bro.

All right.

So what else is going on?

Did you go to church this weekend?

Last weekend?

I'll just go on Wednesdays because Sundays I have to work.

Oh, no.

You're not a witness, are you?

Oh, no.

Oh, those Jehovah's Witnesses have something.

Are you a witness, Will, before I start talking bad about Jehovah's Witnesses?

I'm in a non-applicable.

Okay, you're Buddhist.

No, I'm not an atheist.

I'm not a Christian.

None of the above.

I'm undecided.

You're agnostic.

Something like that.

I don't know.

Something like that.

All right, man.

All right, well, Jonathan, man, thanks for checking in, bro.

Oh, it's no problem.

Now's your time to say hi to all your fans.

I just want to say hello to all my fans and listeners and friends on PCU and PCR.

All right, then.

Hope you all have a good weekend.

Hell, yeah.

We will.

You too, man.

All right, I'll talk to y'all later, then.

Bye-bye, sir.

All right, bye-bye.

Damn it, Milkman, you're supposed to say something right there.

Well, yeah, yeah.

Oh, I was muted, I thought.

I unmuted you.

You know, the step is I hang up the phone, and while I do everything, the first thing

i'm gonna do is i'll meet you then madman and then you guys talk while i get everything set up

because i have okay the wheels on the bus go around the end round will's gonna go take a shit

and we're here better to leave one yeah so uh how does it work with uh oh let me ask you guys

you know these party buses you know what a party bus is right it's like a school bus that you can

parties on and drive around kid is it legal to drink alcohol on a bus if you're driving around

What's the deal with that?

Like, if you have an open container law, you can't have open containers on the road.

How does that work?

Nope.

It's not legal while you're driving.

It's not legal.

What about a limo?

You know what I mean?

Is it legal to drink alcohol in a limo?

Can you have yourself a beer while you're driving around?

While you're inside a limo, you're riding, is that legal to have?

I just see some...

You got to put your mics on.

I'm just talking to you.

I just see somebody at the liquor store.

When I was picking up all the liquor, they were coming out.

They had the limo and they were all drinking in the back

And you know what they had the LCD lights

On the side red blue green and yellow

Changing colors

So yeah they drink in the back of them things

I have witness to that tonight

So you can do it is it legal

I don't think it's legal but I've seen them do it

But you never heard of anybody like

I've never seen a limo being pulled over

Technically you're not supposed to have an open bottle in the car

But it's separated so the driver

Doesn't really get a chance to

So you can almost get away with it

It's one of those

It's one of those gray areas

Yeah it's one of those laws where they only

Pursue it if it suits their needs

Or they have no one else to pull over that night

Yeah

Like that law in Florida where you can't put a squirrel down your face

If you can't afford a ticket basically

Alright cool

So the toll free line is now open

Jonathan is off the line

So the line is open

888-278-8509

It's working for sure because Jonathan just used it

We got that to look forward to

Hey man Will if you ever need a mouse

oh that's connected dual mouse yeah it's dual mouse but we don't have a mouse pad for it but

oh i don't oh but i gotta take over your spot yeah it's okay never mind i know in an emergency

never knew you could do that bless me mst3 clay clay i always say his name wrong hungry howie's

is school pizza back in high school they served hungry howie's for us well hell i'd take that over

the school pizza we had here oh our school pizza used to be the bomb no everybody used to get pizza

and french fries

Chef Boyardee

eats it after shit

but in my high school

they were experimental

like when they first opened

they got this deal

with Burger King

and with Domino's

where they sold

Domino's pizza

and Burger King

Burger King stuff

right there

in the lunchroom

but then they

passed this law

that they couldn't do it

because it was unhealthy

what do they know

pizza unhealthy

yeah

look at me now

no there was something

like Whoppers

you could buy Whoppers

for like six bucks

yeah I've seen that

six bucks

no it was like

a Whopper Jr. for $3 or $2.50

or something like that. Now they're a dollar. They're a dollar each.

You can't get a quarter

pounder for a dollar anymore, man. Remember those days?

Two for two quarter pounders at McDonald's?

All I know is when you're in Japan

you're a big magnet. Holy shit, I'd like to have a damn

Whopper. I'm a fat ass.

Hello, man. How's radio? Who got Whoppers?

Huh? Alright, bye.

How do you get the wrong number for a 12-year-old blind woman?

Hey, we gotta find out what number she calls.

You should've asked her what number she calls.

She's calling from PQ. Hey, check the caller ID.

What's PQ?

St. Constant PQ.

That's not how you spell Canada.

No, there's one of those providences that have PQ in it.

I think it's...

One of those French provinces?

Something like that.

But you should have found out who she was trying to call so we could, you know, if they accidentally call in again, be like, yeah, this is...

Oh, yeah, he's here.

UPS, can I get your package number?

I don't know.

I don't know, man.

Oh, I'm sorry.

It got lost in the mail.

Yeah.

We sent it via USPS.

We need to...

I need to get one of those...

Is that how they do that, guys?

The Touchstone terrorists, I guess, did they purposely get a toll-free number that's like a digit off from UPS so people call them?

Is that how they do it, or are they actually intercepting these phones?

No, man, no, no.

They were actually hacking the phone lines back in the day.

Oh, shit.

You know, I was thinking that we could put advertisements, like, call, like, have a personal ad or, you know, something, you know, selling, you know, plasma TVs for $139 and have people call and leave a message.

and then we just call them back?

Yeah, just call them back.

Yeah, I got that.

That works.

Yeah, we got to start putting this toll-free line to use, man.

You know what I mean?

We've had it for over a year now.

We don't really do enough in front of it.

So, yeah.

Blah, blah, blah, blah.

Fall says that her junior high school sold Pizza Hut pizza, nachos, and tater tots.

Pizza Hut has nachos?

No, right.

No, tater tots.

Oh, tater tots.

I haven't had some.

High school.

I mean, school food, man.

Tater tots are like a staple.

No, no.

They used to have a monopoly on the vending machines because the kids would not go to the lunch.

They'd just eat out the vending machine.

They'd make like $1,000 a day.

Oh, well, I know the high school here.

Oh, man.

Baby Puppycat has fresh tater tots.

You're interested.

Really?

Send them on down.

Yeah.

Send them on down.

We need some.

All right, man.

Write that down.

We need tater tots for next week.

Tater tots.

Oh, here we got another caller.

All right.

This has been blowing up tonight.

Here's someone else harassing us tonight.

This is, uh, this is Clone Homegrown, the traitor.

Oh.

Yeah.

Hi, is this 911?

Yeah.

Yeah, I got an emergency.

What it is?

I'm out of weed.

Oh, man, me too.

I can't help you with that.

Hurry up.

Yeah.

What's going on, Mr. Moneybags?

Can't be on the show anymore.

What's up?

Not a lot, man.

I was just calling to see how it's going.

So what are you doing?

Yeah, what are you doing?

What are you doing?

That you can't be on the show.

Yeah, well, he's all important.

I'm in bed with the wife.

Oh.

Here's a phone for you.

I'm going to have to stop talking to my face.

Jesus.

Then you've got to hit on.

I know how to use the phone.

There you go.

Very well.

Very well done.

So, yeah, man.

Yeah, man.

There it is.

How's it going?

Nothing.

We haven't done one prank call yet.

We've been off for like a half hour or so.

It's pretty sad.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, you know, I had shit going on, man.

So, did you go on before us?

I saw it said clones, condoms, scents.

Yeah, it went on for a little bit.

What happened to the stream?

It started looping, man.

Yeah, it was down before I went on.

We did a good thing then, man.

Well, you know, you should totally warm up the crowd for me.

Start around 8 o'clock and just do until, like...

Well, I only started with, like, 6 listeners and got up to, like, 11.

Oh, that's good.

That's a good night, man.

Better than I'm doing.

How many listeners have you got now?

I've probably got, like, 20.

Four.

35.

Oh, not bad.

Respect.

Hey, y'all should have a competition.

That's crap.

That's less than KDK gets.

I'll give you until July 4th to...

Is KDK on Thursdays now?

He's not on Thursdays.

He's on Wednesdays and Sundays.

He wouldn't dare to compete.

KDK.

KDK's an oddball, if you ask me.

Yeah, man.

So, uh, you want to do a prank call?

All right.

Is that the purpose of this call?

Do it.

Other than you're out of weed?

I know you're not out of weed.

Lie.

Bullshit.

He'd be jonesing for weed.

Like, oh, I gotta get weed.

Um...

Yeah, you were jonesing here, like, earlier.

Me?

Yeah, you were.

You were like, I quit, but I'm probably not going to quit after a couple days.

No, I'm quit.

I've been fine.

Nothing.

I've only hit Athena twice this week so far.

All right.

We're okay.

Hey, Clone, your wife smokes, right?

Yeah.

All right, good.

Good for you, man.

We're going to...

Oh, okay.

That's okay.

We've got a few places here.

Let me...

Ooh, we've got Hot Diggity Dogs, Quickie Mart.

That's last week.

Sin City Tattoos.

Scooby-Doos.

In Massachusetts, what else?

I want to get a tattoo, a Scooby-Doo.

All right, Scooby-Doos.

No, no, no.

What's a tattoo?

I lost it here already.

Sin City tattoos.

Tell them you want a tattoo of yourself on your back.

That's right.

Like Steve-O's got.

You see Steve-O's got the one.

It's like, yeah, I'm cool.

It's huge, too.

I don't know.

I got an invisible tattoo.

Yeah, invisible ink.

Do they have glow-in-the-dark ink for tattoos?

That'd be awesome.

Can you do that?

Yeah, you'd die.

Yeah, probably.

All right.

That'd be sad.

Getting rashes everywhere.

They should do that, man.

I'm going to tell them I got glow-in-the-dark and it doesn't glow.

That sucks, man.

I got ripped off, man.

All right, cool.

Something fucked up.

Oh, you heard about the dude in South America or something?

He went to this tattoo parlor and he wanted to get a tattoo on his back of his soccer team.

But the tattoo place he went to, the guy was a fan of the rival team.

He was in a rival town.

So the guy drew a big penis on his back.

oh it was on uh they were talking about that in the news like three days ago i was like oh

that's pretty fucked up man but yeah so he's got a big dick on his back and made him pay for it too

i bet i wonder how long you went before they figured it out it was like europe it was one

of those soccer back in the u.s they would sue like a mofo yeah well you know about the chinese

tattoos right the chinese letters that a lot of them a lot of people are starting to say that

they say they don't say anything like i guess some guy like he says like i'm they said like

Like rock and roll.

He wanted to get rock and roll.

And it says I'm Jewish?

Yeah, it says something dumb like I'm gay or something like that completely.

Like I suck cock or something.

I don't know why you want to put a Chinese letter.

We got to move on.

You're right, Will.

If you don't Chinese it.

I don't know, right?

What the hell is that?

You know, we're going to go to war to China and he's going to end up in an internment camp for being a, you know, a traitor.

Just put it in English.

Yeah.

Like, you know what?

I'm going to rock those flags that go on your rear view mirror and just have an American flag.

Because everybody got every flag from every country.

American flag.

But you don't see one with the damn USA flag.

That's right.

I'm putting one up.

I'm going to put the Florida flag up.

There you go.

Florida, Florida.

I don't even know what it looks like.

It looks like the Confederate flag, but it's like red and white.

I don't like the Alabama flag

It's straight up

Half of it's the Confederate flag

Wait, wait, wait

California has a bear

That's awesome

I'm gonna get the California flag

On my rearview mirror

America has a big nipper

That's fine

Yeah, on a CD

Like the Puerto Ricans do

Them Puerto Ricans

Damn Puerto Ricans, man

I'm tired of Puerto Ricans

I'm Puerto Rican

Look at me, I'm cool

Yeah, whatever

Alright, well we're gonna put some

Elevating music on

We'll be right back

Clone's gonna call a tattoo

We're going to do this right here.

All right.

Hang up the phone, Will.

Hang on the phone.

It's glowing.

Aw.

Fuck it.

Hang on.

You're supposed to.

What else you got?

Scooby-Doos.

I got Big Ball Sports.

Big Ball.

Hey, a black guy answered there.

It's hard to get black people to answer the phone.

It's a really...

I don't know why, but we never get black people answering the phone here.

Food stands by the phone.

Yeah, that's right.

You're going to put food stands by the phone.

How do you start with black guy?

Will, do you know how to starve a black guy?

Ever heard that joke?

Serve?

How do you starve a black guy?

That's the stupidest, oldest joke ever.

You never heard that?

You hide his food stamps on his work boots?

I know you've heard that before.

That's like...

No, I actually have.

That's fifth grade stuff.

You're half black, clone.

No, why don't they make time in all black?

All right, what is that?

So they work.

They're white.

I get it.

That's funny.

I don't care.

Wow, you're racist, man.

You suck.

No wonder we fired you.

Dude, I hate everybody.

No wonder we kicked you off this show.

Big Ball Sports.

I'm racist to everybody.

Maybe you're half black, Will, or something.

I'm racist to hat.

Whatever.

I got Funky Town.

Oh, that's in Orlando.

Look at that.

Funky Town.

I want you to take me to Funky Town.

I got that song, too.

I'm going to play it for that guy.

All right, we'll call Big Ball Sports.

How's that sound?

We'll try this again.

Hang on.

Power just go out.

The modem's holding him.

Hello.

Hey, this is Big Ball Sports.

This is Big Ball Sports.

You got the wrong number, man.

This ain't Big Ball Sports.

No, man. You got the wrong number.

Who this? Who this?

They ain't big balls, man. They ain't big balls.

I ain't looking for big balls. I'm looking for big balls.

Balls?

You got big balls?

Yeah, I got big balls.

How big are your balls?

Big enough, brother, man.

How much juice they hold, nigga?

Oh, man. That guy's funny, son.

What number did you call?

Big Ball Sports. That's it. It's a black guy.

I think it was black. It sounded pretty black.

It also says...

It should be that number.

It says Print the Planet Company also.

Enter your destiny.

Let me call him back. Hang on.

It will allow you to talk for two hours and six seconds.

You want to take this or should I?

Go ahead.

All right.

Hey, down Moses, down in Jesus' land, tell old Pharaoh.

Will you sing it with me, brother man?

Let my people go.

Sing, let my people go.

Damn it.

Let my people go.

I got to get that song.

Swing down, swing low, sweet chariot.

That guy, he's got big balls.

Hang on, let me clear the line.

Gooby dooby doo

Looking for you

Latino woman

Oh, Latino woman

That's what it says

You want to talk to

A Latino woman

Clone homegirl

Sure

Alright, we'll do that

Clinton Mass

Is that made in Massachusetts

Or is that

Eastern time

I don't know

They confirmed

Wow, that confirmed

Like two hours ago, man

We don't want to do that

But we'll call

Funky Town

Some dude named

J.D. has

Funky Town music

In Orlando

407

I don't think

He'll be out there

You don't think

I don't know

He answered only an hour ago, man.

Not even that long, he answered.

Klo, this is pushing an hour, all right.

Hang on, Klo, good luck with this.

He still answered?

Holy shit, you know what I found out last night?

What?

You know they closed the Back to the Future ride at Universal Studios, man?

Oh, they closed that?

That's my favorite ride, man.

I like the Spongebob 3D fucking movie ride at Six Flags, man.

Yeah.

We don't have it.

We need to get a Six Flags.

Shark 40.

Shark 40, yeah, that's right.

Yeah, take that.

We got four dimensions, Klo.

what's up with that

what do you know

Spotify

that's what it is

it's 4D

oh yeah

yeah

he's upgrading it

yeah he's like

yo yo yo

we got 5D

5D

fuck that

it's 10D

nigga

but apparently

they took away

Back to the Future

they're gonna replace it

with either

The Simpsons ride

Fast and the Furious

or War of the Worlds

their work

War of the Worlds

would be cool

yeah

Simpsons though

the movies

all the movie renditions

sucked

I like War of the Worlds

okay the newest one

they have

That was okay, but the original War of the Worlds movie that that...

It was black and white from the 50s, man.

No, I'm talking about the one they had right before the one with that nigga...

Tom Cruise?

Tom Cruise.

The one right before that.

What do you mean right before that?

I've seen it.

Oh, you must not have seen it.

Another one?

They've got a color one that was that.

Pirate Cop.

No, it was like some suck-ass...

Was it made in Korea?

It was slow and boring, and they didn't have all the robots.

You sure you weren't watching Independence Day?

No, it wasn't Independence Day.

Independence Day,

that might be cool.

You could fly into the ship

and blow it up

and come out.

That would be awesome.

They already got

Men in Black out there, man.

Fucking,

let's work on that.

We gotta open up

a movie theme park, man.

Like that.

Terminators already exist.

They got that stupid

Terminator show.

They need to redo that, though.

They need to come out

with a new one.

Yeah, they got Shaq in it.

Yeah, whenever they do,

you've seen the show

and like Sarah Connor

is shorter than the

person who plays the kid

every time.

Like, it's so stupid, man.

It's so fucking...

Yeah.

Alright, hang on.

Who are we calling again?

Funky Town Music.

Take me down to...

Do I have that song?

Huh?

J.D.

J.D.S.

G.S.

He's a Puerto Rican, probably.

Funky.

Oh, there is Funky Town.

All right.

Funky Town.

Hang on.

Hello.

How you doing, eh?

I'm in town.

I was looking for Funky Town.

This one in the morning.

What is this?

Is this Funky Town?

Yeah.

I'm looking for a party.

You have one minute remaining.

For what?

The party caterer?

You cater to parties?

No.

No?

No, motherfucker.

Hang on.

Didn't they say you had two hours before?

I did the old number in accident.

How old is he?

I'm high.

He's not one.

It's 1230, stupid guy.

Hang on.

And why did I use a phone card when that's a local number?

Why didn't I just block my number?

I don't know, but you had one minute left on that phone card.

I'm stupid.

Well, that's what it lasts at, a minute, so it's fine.

We're okay there.

All right, clone, we're out of numbers.

I got one left and I'm going to try to call that on my own.

Hey, we can call Misery.

We got some people that have internet and you can talk about that.

You can offer them new internet service, man.

That company don't work and we'll come and install it tomorrow.

Hey, hey, hey.

Hey, you want to call somebody as a tech and try to fucking get them to delete their computer?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, let's do that.

Thank God.

What would we do without you?

Hang on, I'll pull it up here.

Isn't it a...

There we go.

Is that format, uh, CMD slash...

Like, uh, one of us?

You know the dots?

Yeah, it's all right.

Yeah, it's C format, C...

No, it's MBR slash, uh...

Oh, man, now I'm trying to play it.

How do you...

Oh, there's something...

I thought it was format slash C or something like that.

Isn't it format?

Dill or something.

I don't know.

Oh!

We wouldn't know what to do.

Oh, no, it's, um...

Virginia Watkins.

This is Virginia Watkins!

Yeah, I have porn on you.

Yeah, that's an old...

Yeah, that's a good prank.

That's a good prank.

Hang on, maybe I got, maybe we can reference that.

What's that called?

Tell her you're with the, uh, the FDA and you have a problem with the porn on her computer.

The FDA?

She don't know what FDA is, that's why.

Clone, are you working yet, man?

Are you, weren't you delivering flowers for a few weeks or something?

For a while.

Yeah.

That sounds like a fun job.

You know what the job I want, man?

Delivering water.

The big water bottles.

No one fucks with the water guy ever.

No one gives him any shit.

Because he's fucking built like a brick shed.

Yeah, I guess I can't do that.

Isn't it NBR slash F or NBR?

I don't know.

I don't know anything about computers.

I just...

Go on the other one.

Go on the other one and look it up real quick.

Go on the other computer and find out how to fuck off someone's computer real quick.

And I don't know.

All right.

Clone, I'm going to let you go, man.

Hey, thanks for calling in.

No problem, bro.

Take care.

All right.

Peace out, man.

Good talking to you.

You too, man.

Yes, sir.

All right.

Later.

Oh, Master.

I got your Master Boot record right here.

Oh.

Two seconds?

Well, you can recover that.

And you know who knows Madman?

Madman, you're the resident nerd.

Madman, what do I have to protect you from?

I know, man, but...

Uh-oh, Milkman.

So Milkman says it's not cool.

No, I fix computers every day, man, but it's not cool, man.

Aw, look at this guy.

Funky Timer Minds, the Shrek 2.

That's the Shrek 2?

I guess it is.

Yeah, well, Milkman doesn't approve of fucking up people's computers, apparently,

so I guess we can't, you know, whatever.

He's like Dr. Lego over here telling us.

Don't do that.

I'm kidding, Milkman.

I love you, man.

man. Not like that, but I like you,

at least.

Nah, it's cool, man. Nah, it's cool.

It's alright. Um, so what

do we do now? I'd rather do

a better prank, man. Why don't you call

Debra Mansfield and fuck with her, man?

I love Debra Mansfield.

Have Will call her. Will?

Yeah, you gotta get involved, Will.

That thing travels. It's, uh...

She is

an angry, alcoholic,

drug-addicted

black woman in Indianapolis.

We've talked to her many times.

4K, the master boot record.

It's FDIS slash NBR.

And that'll do what exactly?

That'll delete their boot record so they won't know where the operating system's at.

Wow.

So they'll just come up and say, unable to find operating system.

That's sad.

It can still be fixed, but it's still fucked up.

They don't know how to do it.

These people don't know what the hell.

These customers.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

These people don't know what the hell hit them.

All they know is the internet's out

And they want it out now

Bastards these are

You don't understand how much stress I'm under

But it's okay I understand

We want good karma here

Heaven forbid something here happened to the show

What would you people do

Hey I got something we can do

I'm going to check my blood sugar

Live on the air

Alright

This is the 5 second one

No it's about 6

Any guesses on what my blood sugar is

Normal is 120

120.

That's safe.

Let's see here.

I'll get my machine on.

189.

189, I wish.

It was 300 earlier today.

Milkman, you got a lot of background noise, man.

All right, here we go.

I don't have enough blood.

Oh, I do.

Look at that.

Okay.

Dermal, please.

Where's the thing?

Okay, it's not that bad.

It's 242, everybody.

That's like almost three times the normal limit, dude.

I'm going to die.

I should really not be drinking beer tonight.

I could go into a diabetic coma, Will, and you'd have to carry me down the stairs.

I will.

Yeah, right.

I'll drag you down feet first.

Alright so the chat room

People are saying Phil Connors says

That he does not agree

He does not approve of Milkman

There you go

Did you read the following comment

No I'm not paying attention to those people

You both suck

Each other

Mike Gitti says you suck cock

And that you're an old Jew fuck

You're not Jewish

Come on let's not get rude

rude no man he shouldn't talk like about lego like that that's not cool yeah msc3 clay he's a

fellow diabetic what's up brother he says we should all check our blood sugar that's right

very well he hasn't checked his sweet kisses is too man you got to check your blood sugar three

times a day fasting in the morning after after breakfast and uh after dinner very very important

you've been getting too much sugar from tina that's why you got your high sugar

No, no, no.

A little salty.

It's been a little salty lately.

We're just going to leave that one.

We're just going to like, yeah, we don't know.

Yeah, yeah.

Just, we're going to, and for the next topic, who are we going to call?

How about them bears, man?

How about them bears?

That's what I'm saying, man.

Yeah, what about them bears, man?

Hey, wait till the Colts get a hold of them.

Them big grizzly bears, you know what I'm talking about?

Them Colts.

All right, man, let's call Debra or let's call Charlie.

Call Charlie, Father McQuatters.

All right, we're Father McQuarters.

Father McQuarters.

I do bad voices, Irish voices.

I can't do them.

Charlie, I haven't done one prank call at all here.

I haven't done a prank call in three weeks.

You didn't do one last week.

Did I do one last week?

No.

I don't think I did one at all last week, did I?

No.

Yeah, anyway.

No.

All right, so we've got a lot of Colts fans in the chat room.

No.

Good for them.

Too bad they're going to lose next week.

No.

Well, you're a Colts fan?

No.

All right, good.

All right, man.

Uh, how about some Cam'ron?

We're right back after this.

Milkman, you gotta do something about your background.

Killing me, Milkman.

I'm taking a shit.

I got y'all speaker phone.

Speaker mic.

Come on, put your bench down.

I moved the mic away because it was making too much noise.

That's fine.

That's fine, man.

You can make noise over there.

Don't make too much noise, man.

Try Debra Mansfield

That hoe

Make that bubbling noise for me

Bubbling noise

Also Omni102

Asked if you'll call

His number

I've done it to you already

Smoke weed every day

That was a double one too

Right on man

My shit is clogged

Oh

Oh, that sucks.

This guy's name is John, and he lives in New York.

He's 25 with long hair.

Well, he's just asking for it right there, man.

Do you have long hair, sir?

Yeah.

Do you have long hairs?

All right, we'll call him.

You got long pubes?

You got long pubes, your brain, your pubes.

I'm going to dread it up for you.

Sick.

Will's got problems.

I'm a grizzly bear.

Shankirk, New York.

All right, we'll be right back after this.

Hey, what's going on, Jim?

Hey, not much.

How you doing, bro?

This is John, right?

I said Jim.

I'm very disrespectful.

My name is Bruce, and a friend of yours asked us to give you a call.

My daughter has cancer, and she's going into chemotherapy next week, and she's due to lose all her hair.

And we're wondering if maybe you could donate, you know, get a haircut and donate your hair for make a wig for her.

We'll pay you some money.

How much money do you need right now?

Is there anything out there you'd like?

Xbox 360, you got some of those here?

There's got to be something we can do, John.

Come on, work with me.

Come on, do business.

Come on, I want your hair.

What about your pubic hair?

I guess that's not going to work.

He doesn't want to part with his hair.

He doesn't have long hair.

This guy doesn't have long hair.

You guys lied to me, man.

Why are you putting me on the spot?

Will's over here dancing.

We were talking about Will.

You were saying that Will Smith used to dance to this with Carlton.

They had it on one episode where they were dancing to that one song,

this one right here, and they were doing a little dance.

That's pretty much it.

They seem like they had a lot of fun

In that show

You know what I mean

You know Carlton

Well he always did the

The Tom Jones song

You know it's not unusual

I don't think

It's not unusual

To be in love

With anybody

It's true

It's not unusual

That's the only thing I know from him

From Tom Jones

Oh you don't know

What's up pussycat

Oh I might have heard something

But I don't know him right off hand

I don't know him like that

You know

Milkman actually

His

Milkman's dad

Was related to Tom Jones

Really

But Milkman himself

Is not related to Tom Jones

I don't know how that works

Yeah, that's what he says.

I don't know.

How about Bentley Dyer?

Clone Homegrown says that Xanax is not a hard drug.

Did you know that?

Xanax is weird.

It turns me into a zombie.

It makes me angry.

No, it turns me into a zombie.

I mean, literally, like, I'm not there, and my alter ego comes out.

Your alter ego?

Well, like, my...

Bill comes out.

What do you call it?

Your unconsciousness?

Your Slim Shady?

Yeah.

It comes out.

Really?

That's kind of scary, dude.

I got busted with that.

That's why I've got that PTI coming up, man.

Ah, for real?

That's why I got this probation coming up.

Because I got busted with like 200, 300 pills worth of that stuff on me.

200 pills of that?

Yeah, man.

And you didn't have a prescription?

No, it was a prescription refill.

The stuff they refill the bottles that they have at the prescription store.

Ah.

Yeah.

Well, you're in deep shit now.

Yeah.

Well, if you need a lawyer, I know a guy.

No, no, no.

No, I got it all taken care of.

I just got to do probation.

That's it.

That sucks.

For nine months, hopefully.

Just for carrying around a legal...

I mean, it's legal, though.

But it was a prescription.

No, it was for the stores.

It wasn't for consumer use.

It was for the stores to refill their stuff.

How did you get a hold of that?

I don't want to know.

Yeah, we're just going to leave that one alone.

I don't know who's listening.

So Will's going to jail, everybody.

No, no, no, no.

Probation.

There you go, you know what I'm saying.

Alright man

We're going to take a break here

We're going to come back

And do a few more prank calls

If I have numbers

I don't know

Because Storm Shadow

A.K.A. Lonesome Loser

Hasn't been

Hasn't been communicating

That's right

Tell them to just

Format

F this

Slash

MBR

I don't know

If we should

Sweet kisses

Send in that number

Sweet kisses

Come on

Sweet kisses

Chop chop woman

I will give you

Sweet kisses

All

Night

Long

That's Milkman's girl

Oh wait

My girl is

I can't be saying that.

And you girls listen now.

Yeah.

I'm going to get busted tonight.

Yo, I'm not getting out tonight.

You in trouble now.

Yeah.

That's it.

You got your stand here.

You got your meat in the grinder, boy.

You know?

All right.

Athena, prepare the couch.

Okay.

He's the number one now, Cardio.

You know what?

I don't even know if I'm going home now.

Y'all got long hair.

I might get smacked up the back of my head.

Yeah.

I don't know.

We got plenty of room here, man.

This is going to text message me in like 30 seconds.

You say what?

What'd you say?

You don't talk about that like that.

Yeah.

Alright well guys

Hey we're gonna take a break

We'll be right back

And do some more prank calls

And we'll call it a night

So uh

That's it

It's uh

12.47am

It's Friday

Congratulations

GGIF

Poets Day

I'm gonna call in

Crazy mother fucker

From Cali

We'll be right back after this

MadhouseLive.com

That's the fuck

What's up

This radio will be back

Right after this

You don't talk to me

Like that bitch

I don't even know

Who the fuck

Put your man on the phone

I said

What are you crying for?

Did someone die?

Ma'am?

Yes?

I have gas.

Listen.

Oh!

Madhouse Radio is live Thursday nights at 10 p.m. Eastern.

Why don't you shut the hell up?

Fuck you!

Fucking piece of shit!

Be sure to visit us online at madhouselive.com.

Anybody hear me?

I got my caps out.

There.

I guess that's working.

I don't know.

Crazy.

You know this song, Will?

I've heard it a couple times.

My roommates all play this song.

That's good.

They play all that underground.

That's it, yeah.

It's an underground.

It's like, who sent you songs like that?

Young Z, Young Jeezy.

I got this from Madman when he came in.

He visited someday, one day.

Milkman.

What was that Snoop Dogg song I sent you?

The, uh, the, uh, the, uh.

Bill Bailey.

What was that?

Milkman, that was Jimi Hendrix, right?

I gotta find it.

Yeah.

I gotta find it real quick.

Let me type it in here.

Jimi Snoop.

Oop.

It's not there.

There it is.

It's not there in their mashup.

It's under Google Talk.

I gotta hear them.

Don't worry.

play that i'll play that next the next uh did you get that peyton manning song i sent you no

you sent me a peyton manning song dude i sent it to you like a week ago and i would want to

play that one i don't like peyton manning i feel for the guy you ought to hear him sing you'll

really like him then i don't know man don't let andy hear you talking about the colts man i get

pissed off he's a he's a bears fan man the bears are what too bad andy shit too bad you're gonna

lose, man. Hey, check out the retards in his

watch. Oh, man. Look at that guy. He's in a

fight. Ah, it's special ed.

Look at that dude right there. He looks like

Beetlejuice. You should do a call like that. Yeah.

I just called the number to get

the how many movie tickets

you have. That's not funny, bro.

My brother's retarded.

Milkman's retarded. Alright.

Madman. Madman lives in Chicago.

Milkman, are you ready?

Madman's a Bears fan. Are you ready

for the...

Alright, Milkman. Relax over there.

We should three-way somebody.

Hey.

Just let them listen to a conversation between, like, two retards.

Call that number.

I just sent you.

Okay.

Who is it?

Bill Bailey.

Beetle Bailey?

Bill Bailey.

Beetle Bailey.

Won't you?

What's this?

Who sent this in?

Omi?

Sweet Kisses.

Sweet Kisses?

Won't you come home?

LOL.

He will probably sound high or drunk.

He might be a good one to call.

Mess with his head.

Is he drunk?

He probably will sound high or drunk.

All right.

Cool.

We'll do that.

All right.

Hey.

Hey, you know who we should call them?

What do you call them?

Sexual offenders?

I'm 12 years old.

I need you to come.

Are you going to call Prankmaster?

Prankmaster.

Yeah.

You know who Prankmaster is, Will?

You don't know, do you?

I don't know Prankmaster.

I will admit, I don't know who he is.

He's a pedophile.

Okay.

Let me ask you.

Who?

Okay.

I know this show is the best, but who's like one of the best prank callers that, you know,

like the prank history top guru who's your favorite pranker like on on these stations

or like all time all time oh all time i mean i mean jerky boys are always going to be the king

i got i used to have that cd talking about you poisoned my food in my eye yeah oh poison

the snake poison eye yeah well you gotta think the jerky boys are always going to be the kings

because they're the ones that became the most successful they had a movie they had tons of

CDs that came out and made a lot of money before they

They left.

I wonder what they're doing now.

They broke up.

I know Kamal, I mean, they do stuff on their own,

and they do appearances here and there, but they don't get into it.

But, I mean, they're probably working at Mickey D's or something.

No, they got money.

Oh, yeah?

They got their stash.

I'm sure they do.

I don't know.

I don't keep up with that.

After that, I'd say Touchstone Terrorists are probably next.

You know, that dude's pretty funny, Touchstone Terrorists.

He still does stuff for the Stern Show every once in a while.

He says that he drinks a pint of whiskey every night.

You know the Touchstone Terrorists, right, Will?

No, no.

You know what?

I don't keep up with the whole prank call.

Man.

You know what?

Honestly, what's amazing is that we met up.

Or you know what?

I seen your show on Winamp.

Yeah.

Before you met me.

Well, not your show.

I seen the prank call, you know.

PCU.

Yeah, yeah.

I was seeing PCU.

And then you gave me the card.

It was like, yo, just check out the show, whatever.

I was like, wait, PCU?

It's like, that's what's up.

I was just seeing that the other week.

Like no love too long ago

And then you

Then you were working with me

I was like

That's what's up

You didn't even know

Didn't know

I was a D-list celebrity

Right next to you

Not D-list

I'm like H-list celebrity

I got like five fans out there

But I love you

Hey

You got more than five fans

Come on now

You don't wanna

You don't wanna put down the fans

Nah nah

I love you fans

Thank you

We love you guys

Keep me on the air

You guys need to call in more often

Everybody

Just call in

Here's Touched on Terrorist

This is a

Hold call

Oh we gotta call

What kind of service can I help you?

Yes, I hope you can.

Last year I had your service.

I had a lot of problems.

You want to get signed up?

Let me get you signed up here.

No, no, no.

I don't want to be signed up.

I want to be signed off.

Well, why do you want to?

You're already with us.

Now you want to disconnect already?

I'm not happy with your service.

Who are you going to sign up with?

That's my personal business, please.

Well, they're all no good.

Look, sir, I'm not calling you to debate my personal life with you.

Well, I'm just wondering why on earth you'd want to cancel.

Because I'm not happy with what I've received.

We're the best.

Well, I tell you, we'll give you 1,000 unlimited free hours.

I don't want that.

I want to cancel this free subscription that I just put in.

This is AOL, basically.

It's a computer.

I want you to not bill my account.

Let me give you a new access code.

It's 149.

Sir, is there somebody else I could speak to?

Oh, you sure awful disagreeable this morning, man.

Well, I'm trying to cancel something I'm not pleased with, and you're giving me a debate.

Oh, Willie, talk to this customer.

She's complaining.

Oh, here we go.

Yeah, this is Willie, the supervisor.

What's going on here?

Sir, I'm just trying to cancel my...

Jim, I'm saying you was complaining.

He didn't say you called to cancel.

He said you called to complain.

Because he's debating with you.

Yeah, he was going to give you a new access code.

I just, sir, I don't want, I don't want.

And a new password.

I don't want.

Why not?

Sir, that's my personal business.

I don't want.

And I just last week got your three month free.

And try it again.

Let me get you a new passcode.

Sir, I do not want.

1495W as in Watermelon J as in Shawanda.

Sir, who do I have to talk to to cancel this?

Because if you take it out of my account, I will sue you.

Did you write this down?

No, I didn't.

I'm giving you $1,500.

I know.

I've got three tips that they're like, don't watch this.

Did I say free?

Do you have another supervisor?

Because I don't know what your problem is.

Yeah, let me get my supervisor.

45 days for free.

I love it.

Did I say free?

I love it when he says that part.

It's so funny.

Did I mention free?

I'm just going to give it to you.

Bill, y'all, your credit card.

Access codes.

You got to send me a call.

That's a classic, man.

Yeah, that's a good one.

DMX, man.

Isn't he in jail?

What happened with him?

I would think he would be because he pretended like he was an FBI agent and then raided some security shack or something.

He did something weird.

Didn't he try to run somebody over with his SUV or something?

What's wrong with DMX?

I don't know, man.

He used to be off the hook.

And then he was like

You know what

I'm not recording

For the labels no more

Whatever man

I was like

Yo

Just finish it up

Make money

40 crappy songs

Yeah

40 crappy songs

And it'll be done

Yeah

Get paid

Whatever

Yeah

DMX has got problems man

Yeah he did

He's in trouble

For impersonating

A federal agent

Or something

I don't know

It's a weird story

We gotta find out

Milkman find out

About DMX

Alright

He's seen DMX

Alright

Milkman's like

Alright

How do you spell that?

What's the number that 9-1-1?

My simple motocross.

That's the one right there, man.

Close enough.

All right.

Peyton Manning's on the cover of Sports Illustrated.

Holy dog shit.

Oh, we got another caller.

Oh, my God.

It's from Vegas.

Wow, man.

What stays in Vegas, prays in Vegas.

Is this one of our listeners?

Sure it is.

I bet this is Brandon Vegas.

Motherfucker, you on the air.

He's got an all-nighter cap, man.

Hello.

I told you, Will.

Give me a ding for that.

Where's my ding?

All right, cool.

You like that, don't you?

If you walk Vegas on the caller ID, you know it's me.

Yeah, exactly.

Who else, man?

What's the saying?

What stays in Vegas, plays in Vegas?

What is it?

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

Is that real?

Is that for real?

You like that, don't you?

Pretty much, yeah.

You know what I heard?

Tell me this is true.

I heard the cops in Vegas, that they'll cuff you for no reason.

The second you get pulled over, they're all about cuffing you and locking you down.

They're shooting you.

Yeah?

They're shooting you, really?

Don't they have the cops that wear the little tights on their booty shorts?

That's Reno 911.

Oh.

That's enough.

When's that movie coming out, man?

I don't know.

That Reno 911 Miami movie, that's going to be good.

I'm looking forward to that.

So what's up, Vegas, man?

Brandon Vegas, what's going on with you, man?

Not much.

You said you wanted to check in with some of the new listeners.

Well, I'm not new, but new to him.

Oh, you're old school.

Okay.

Will, this is Brandon Vegas.

This is an old-time listener.

All right.

He's been listening since the foundation in 92.

Okay.

No, I don't know what he's been listening to.

95, maybe?

95.

Okay, that's what I thought.

Since 87, before the internet was around, we used to do this all.

We used to, like, trade around tapes.

That's how we did...

So, when's the anniversary date?

I don't know.

You got to do a big show.

January 26th.

Is it?

Oh, shit, that's right now, man.

That's, like, today, isn't it?

All right, man.

Happy anniversary.

No, it's not January 26th.

Yeah, it is 26th, right?

No, I know, but...

My computer says...

When did you start the show?

Oh, me?

Yeah.

September, no, October, July.

Milkman, when did we start the show?

July of 2005?

Yes.

Something like that.

But we need to do a big show.

No, we had an anniversary show last year.

We've got to have another one.

Well, it's not July yet.

I know.

We've got to prepare for it.

Look at this guy jumping the gun on us.

Hey.

Get on the gun.

Come on, baby.

We'll have an 18th month anniversary here next week.

All right.

All right, man.

So, man, where were you at?

You said you were missing.

You said you were back in Vegas.

Where were you before?

So I was back in North Dakota for a couple of weeks.

Oh, North Dakota.

So we talk about this place.

What is exactly there to do in North Dakota?

Oh wait, isn't that where Brokeback Mountain's at?

No.

Is it?

I think that's South Dakota.

Oh, close enough.

Talking about Mount Rushmore or what?

So North Dakota now.

What's better, North Dakota or South Dakota?

And what's the big difference between the two?

Nothing really, except for the fucking mountains.

That's about it.

Any Puerto Ricans up there?

Mexicans up there.

Yeah.

Mexicans are everywhere, man.

They got that labor, man.

That's how they get us.

They get that cheap labor.

They're everywhere, man.

Pretty soon.

Yeah, it's like them building the...

Yeah.

Yeah, it's something, man.

I know there's Mexicans in Vegas.

I'm not even going to ask about that.

I'm not for sure there are.

It's like us building the...

My bad.

Go ahead.

Yeah, go ahead, Vegas.

Half the city's Mexicans here, man.

Yeah, it's true.

Built by the mob and the Mexicans, man.

That's awesome.

But, see, that's the thing.

in Vegas, and I've talked about this before,

it's the kind of place where if you want to get drunk,

all you have to do is go to the casino,

play a few nickel slots, and it'll bring you...

Right? And you do get...

You still get served alcohol if you're playing at the nickel slots,

right? Yeah, sometimes. It depends

where you go. Really? Yeah.

Have you been to Vegas, Will?

No, not yet, but that's where I was conceived.

Is that how it happened? That's right.

Alright, cool. On the streets or in the hotel?

In the hotel. Awesome.

Good deal, man. Took a train there.

I don't know how I was conceived at all.

I don't think it was natural.

You probably haven't asked.

You're probably not that close.

I was conceived on a toilet seat, to be honest with you.

You need to ask your parents to get caught up.

I don't want to know how I was conceived.

They'd be too scared to tell you.

My parents are so cool.

My dad dry houses my mom while I'm over there visiting.

That's great.

On the couch.

That's kind of creepy.

So that's what happened.

You know?

And he was in the Marines or something?

Yeah.

Yeah?

And you live in Japan, too?

Yep.

Wow.

How old were you in Japan?

Ah, 13, 14, 15.

Wow, that's the best time right there, man.

That's Japan.

Tokyo, you were by Okinawa, right?

Okinawa is like a thousand miles away from mainland Japan.

Yeah.

So there's not much to do in Okinawa then, right?

No.

That sucks.

But anyway.

Yeah, anyway.

What's he up to?

Yeah, Vegas.

What are you up to, man?

Drinking some beers on the street.

Oh, word.

We're drinking make light here tonight.

What you drinking?

A million light.

All right.

We got Milkman coming with you.

Look at that.

This is Milkman Awesome off the wire.

Hip-hop icon DMX arrested in June, charged with driving without a license,

and jailed overnight after missing two court appearances, and is going to trial.

That's it?

That's it.

Man, I need to impersonate an FBI agent that will run somebody over.

That's all he got?

I think he impersonated, he said he was an FBI agent, but he was talking to a cop or something.

He was like, I'm an FBI agent, and the guy was like, really?

Okay.

And he, like, ran over, like, he was in some kind of parking garage or some weird shit.

I don't know, something weird.

DMX is nuts.

I think he was on X or something or Z's or something.

He's on J's.

All right, Brandon Vegas, thanks for calling in, bro.

All right, talk to you later.

It's good talking to you, man.

Yep.

All right.

You know what the next thing we should do?

Okay, besides the matter of fact, you know what?

On the anniversary, we should figure out if we can get some time slots available to do a marathon.

A marathon?

Yeah.

I have to get time off of work and stuff for that.

Well, you never know.

Hey, we're playing in the bank.

DMX considers changing name

For spiritual reasons

What the hell is he gonna say

It's gonna be the sign

What's the sign

What's it gonna be

The artist

Of the bible

What the hell

DMX man

Oh my god

That guy

He's bummed the fuck out

Let me turn that off

Yeah you do that

I got more DMX songs

Look at that

It's DMX

Nah this is a DMX song

When's the last time

He came out with an album

God man

Like five years ago

Yeah

Yeah, it has been about five years.

He was the hot shit back in the day.

One of my ex-roommates is all about DMX.

He's a good guy.

All I want to hear.

Dr. Dre discovered him, too.

Did he?

Yeah.

Oh, right.

Dre, he's one of Dre's prodigies, man.

Like Eminem and 50 Cent.

Yep, and Eazy-E.

I thought they were in the same group.

Who?

DMX?

Eazy-E and Dr. Dre.

Yeah, NWA.

No, NWA.

It's just the attitude.

Snoop Dogg wasn't in NWA.

It was Dre, Ice Cube, Eazy-E, MC Yella, and DJ Ren.

I got that all wrong.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then Dre found Snoop later on.

That's how that worked.

Ain't that right, Milkman?

That's right, man.

Yeah, Milkman's having fun.

Okay, I think I'm going to have to do that soon for spiritual reasons, he told MTV Europe after shedding the Darkman X name.

Oh, that's what it stands for, Darkman X.

New York, New York.

Wow.

Awesome.

New York, New York.

One hell of a...

Motherfucker, you on the air.

Fucking madhouse, nigga.

What's up, man? How you doing?

What's the word, brother? You're having a fucking exciting show tonight, man.

You think?

Yeah, well, you know, you always got the fucking good show.

It's like, it's got a format to it. It's an actual show.

It's no Zolar Vision, though.

No, no, no. You know why? Because fucking Zolar Vision is a fucking train wreck every time, brother.

No, man, it's a good show. I listen every week still, man. What are you talking about?

Well, that's the format of Zolar Vision. It's like a train wreck.

It's supposed to resemble like somebody wanted it to look like a fucking train wreck,

but it really is a train wreck.

It's an organized chaos.

Yeah, but it's not.

It's really chaos, but I want people to think it's organized chaos.

Man, I was listening to the roundtable today at work,

and I was hoping to hear you, and all I heard was that fat bitch Joey Boots talking shit.

Yeah, they don't invite me as much as they used to,

but much actually ask me what date I'd like to be on next,

and I should take a pick and choose what date I'd like to be on,

but I haven't done that yet, so I still have an available slot coming up.

Good.

Good, man. Let me know.

Anyway, my phone is very fucking iffy, so if it sounds like I cut out, it's my phone.

I got a bad phone.

But I wanted to ask you, not because, you know, I'm asking you to, you know, fucking get off the air or anything.

What time are you going to be on until tonight?

About 9. I think I might do until 1.30, because I got class tomorrow at 7.30.

Okay, because right after that, I'm going to fucking put Johnny Frotto on the air.

He's having a big fight with SFN, and fucking Eric the Midget got banned.

I heard about that.

He's a big fan from SF.

What?

I heard about that.

I read it today, and I heard they were talking about it on the Star Fan Network,

and Howard talked about it today, too, I heard.

Yeah, but no, now it's really blown up, that stupid social club thing they got going.

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

Will's stepping out real quick.

But, yeah, I heard Howard talking about this,

and this is that one thread that Johnny Frato guy, I don't really follow it that much.

This is really...

Right, me neither.

Me neither.

But, I mean, I happen to know Johnny.

I know of the thread.

I, you know, and I just got, like, in, you know, in the middle of it, so I'm gonna let

fucking Johnny go on PCR and fucking vent, and Eric the Midget got thrown off the fucking

SFN, and just now, it just happened just now.

Oh, shit.

Yeah, like, he was having a big argument with Mutt.

Yeah, I heard Howard telling him today, what was it exactly, like, yeah, if you're feeling

like you're gonna get hurt, just don't call in again, you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But it's for real, because, you know, Eric calls in, and he's like, you know, but he's,

I don't know, it's dragging his thing.

When is he going to fly with those damn balloons, man?

Get it over with.

Ever since they started last year, they've been talking about this.

Yeah, but really, really, Eric would fly with the balloons,

but it's physically impossible to do it inside the studio,

so I guess Howard tries to make it look like, you know,

it's Eric who's reluctant to do it.

They should do it in, like, a hangar or something, like an airplane hangar.

Totally, dude.

They should do it in one of those airplanes.

But that would mean that Howard would have to pay for something.

Unless somebody was donating every single aspect of it,

they would never do it.

Yeah, and pilots don't listen to Howard.

Anything that's done on the Howard Stern show that involves cash

is supposed to come out of that $500 million that they paid him.

Oh, really? So they don't get any leeway at all?

No, that money is his budget,

and whatever he can come out with in the next five years

after paying for all that shit is his pocket change.

Oh, the best, yeah.

Yeah, so that's why they're not going to Vegas either, huh?

Right, dude.

That means, look, unless he can get a sponsor to pay for all that,

he's going to come out of pocket for that shit.

They need to, they need to, because those Vegas shows are off the hook.

I mean, even you, man, you were out there all involved in that shit, man.

Well, I was lucky enough to have this show fucking pay for me,

because back on Terrestrial Radio, they had real sponsors that paid big dollars to get on the air.

Now that they're on Sirius, they don't have those sponsors coming over

and forking the big dough over for a minute's spot.

Right, right.

You know, so like, I got, by the adult industry, they brought me down there one year,

and then the actual show brought me down there one year.

It was pretty cool

I got lucky all the time

That I was down there

But you know

That's boring

People and stuff man

I'm going to continue

Listening to your show

And as soon as you go off

I'm going to jump on

Fucking PCR

And fucking let Johnny vent

Well tell you what

I'll give you like

You know

20 minutes

We'll wrap it up here

Because I really need to go

I was planning on not going

Further than 130

It's 115 now

Alright

So give me like

You know

15 minutes

And I'll

You know

Get yourself ready

Get everything situated

You know

And you can take over

Just keep listening

I'll give you the go-ahead.

I'll give you the high sign, all right?

Awesome.

All right, are you going to be on tomorrow, too, or is this in place?

Yeah, no, I'm going to be on tomorrow night, and that's just my normal show,

but I'm going to let fucking Johnny do his venting right now.

Cool.

Just for the sake of being on the air and doing it.

I'll listen to that.

All right, xyzolar.com is the website.

Awesome.

And Zolar Vision is the show tomorrow night at 10 p.m. Eastern.

Carlitos Madhouse, along with the Milkman, the irreplaceable.

All right, and the Will, and the Madman.

All right, dude.

All right, Mad Men, and we'll take you later, baby.

And I'll see you later in a little while.

Yeah.

White Power.

Love Zola, yeah.

Will hits off to talk to him.

I don't know how to use the phone.

Did you see that?

He's getting 70 days in Rikers Island.

Check out that retard right there holding that banner.

He's all happy.

Hey, look at me.

I got the banner.

Yay.

Good old banners, man.

DMX was sentenced to 70 days.

On Rikers.

On Rikers Island.

For what?

I thought they closed Rikers Island down.

No, that's a great...

Wait, that's the...

That's the rock.

For violating probation and showing up late to the court hearing.

Oh, but who doesn't do that?

Will's about to do that.

No, no, I showed up every time.

And they're talking about, oh, we can't extend it.

Because apparently my roommate tossed a letter, or no, he put the letter in his room, didn't remember that he had it.

and i was supposed to show it back in like june oh and ever since then i've been coming back like

i've updated all my addresses y'all have not sent me nothing yet you gotta watch out with that yeah

the state does not play man they will fuck the state i hope they're listening right the fuck

now yeah fuck you the state fuck the district attorney fuck the the the judge i don't remember

his goddamn name fuck them all that's right all right you know what i've never had a bad

I had a bad experience with a judge in Florida.

You're lucky.

I know.

I haven't had a bad experience yet.

I know.

But if I do, I think I'll figure out where he lives.

I looked at my thing.

I got off with a $500.

Did I tell you that came up at work?

That I put down, you know, they ask you, have you ever been convicted or charged with a crime?

And I said, no.

Well, I was charged with possession.

And then I got charged with possession and I had a lawyer get into it.

I paid a lawyer for $100, and my lawyer actually got the charge changed to disorderly conduct,

and I played no contest to it.

So it doesn't even come up as possession.

It's like I could just say, yeah, I was outside yelling like a motherfucker drunk, and a cop

came by.

Disorderly conduct.

I got that.

You don't know I got disorderly conduct?

No.

Let's go down the list of all the stuff I got.

Oh, great.

No, no, no.

It's only like three things.

Suddenly I'm scared.

No.

I got disorderly conduct for slapping a bitch's ass on Daytona Beach.

It was a black college reunion.

union i was slapping the asses just like everybody else there was like thousands of guys i was just

smacking all these bitches ass i smacked the one bitch's ass a woman cop comes and said oh you

want to smack some ass huh and put me in cuffs before i even knew she was behind me holy shit

yo and they got me with disorderly conduct they told me okay you can pay a 250 fine and you know

you'll you'll you'll be good to go and whatever like a hundred dollar fine i showed up to pay

to find her like oh wait no this the florida statue you broke you gotta go to court and it's

a misdemeanor i was like holy what the hell it's disorderly conduct right right but whatever so

i dealt with that and then they then i was at jimmy's billiards and then they gave me this

look look they gave me a uh they threw me down on the ground and scraped up my shoulder man

the cops too yo they were just being nasty man i didn't even do anything my friends beat up this

this other dude i hit in the bathroom they came after me with the gun calling me names like the

fuck out the bathroom threw me on the floor i spit on their keyboard on their laptop in the car

oh yeah that's fucked up man the cop that arrested me like he's an ass i hate the pig he was my um

he was my old wrestling coach in high school man i was like motherfucker you know him you know why

you gotta be like that man it was like you know but um i had a lot more weed than they found

No, to be honest with you.

You know, when I told you I had them 300 pills, I had a whole ounce on me, dog, and four quarters split up.

No, they found that, too.

They got the four quarters split up.

And I'm lucky they didn't hit me with distribution.

Distribution.

The minute you got that split up, they get you a distribution.

They did not hit me with the distribution.

They just hit me with trespassing.

And then they've now dropped the trespassing, but they left the possession charges.

I was like, wait a minute.

And if the trespassing doesn't show up anywhere, how did you stop me in the first place?

They were like, oh, it doesn't matter if they got you trespassed.

They just do what they want to do.

And you know, they tased me.

What?

And because I didn't have a dot to check it out, they can't hold it up in court.

I have two spots on my back where the taser hit me.

They hit me from behind.

It's not like I was coming at them or nothing.

They hit you from behind.

I was walking away talking about, I'm going to go see my friends in the movie theater.

Hit me with the taser, dawg.

What's that like getting tased?

I don't know.

I was on Xanax, dawg.

I don't remember a thing.

You were probably running.

That's probably why they took you.

I was not running.

I knew I wasn't running.

I was telling them, look, my roommate that I was with, he ended up going to the hospital.

He didn't even know it.

My other friends, they had pretty much bounced because it was time to go and she got picked up already.

So I'm looking for my keys, my car, and Kenny, my roommate, couldn't find any three of them.

He was in the hospital with the keys to my car.

Even if I did find my car, I couldn't go nowhere.

You couldn't go anywhere with it.

So I'm stuck.

They're telling me to leave.

I'm like, I'm meeting people at the movie theater.

It was done from there.

Fuck the police, man.

It's fucked up, man.

It's not fair, everybody.

We got to do one more prank call before we turn it over.

Let's do it.

We got to, oh, and Lonesome Loser, thank you, sir.

He's sending in a bunch of numbers here.

But I can't get to all of them, man.

We got Hooters of Mesa.

We've called them before.

We got D1 Suck.

An Asian woman answered.

We also have Jack in the Box.

We got Pumpin' Peets.

Hollywood Video.

Those still exist.

Oh, I just got a good one in here.

Taboo adult video?

Taboo.

Oh, I thought they were talking about the club down here.

Not the club down here, but they used to have boxing on Monday nights.

I want to get a VIP table there.

I'm not into the whole club thing.

Bambi, she's 45, 385 pounds and a lesbian?

Wow.

That's something right there.

Abjack Masterson.

Okay, we've got to figure out how to call this one.

All right.

Alright, I'll call her next, fine

Well, let me call one of Lonesome's numbers

And we'll call Bambi, we'll call her tonight

We're gonna knock this out

Dunkirk, this is more from

This is from Omi, man

I'm gonna dive in your waves, girl

Omi 1 Kenobi, dive in your waves

Slap your ass and ride the waves

Wow, that's fun

Alright, we'll play a song, I suppose

We're gonna do another prank call here

Your mama's so fat, when she sit around the house

She sit all the way around the house

he's here all night

your mama so

your mama best so bad

her teeth duck out of the way

whenever she speaks

the party you have reached

is not accepting private calls

if you want to allow

your number to be displayed

hang up

dial star 8-2

or

1-1-8-2

on rotary phones

and redial the number

who the fuck has a rotary phone

milkman does

well I don't have a spoof

till card right now

I don't have a spooftail card right now, so that's not going to work.

How much is it?

Like $10.

Okay, well, maybe next week.

Maybe next week.

And we'll pretend like we're the White House.

Speak up, man.

We're going to start some groundbreaking stuff here soon, man.

Yeah, we do.

We need to break the chain, break the mold.

You wait till you wait for this.

We're going to do it with cards from now on, man, real soon.

How's this?

I'll tell you about it later, man.

Your buddy Milkman's got a new sleuth.

Oh, shit.

All right.

98.6

The foul

The fucking mouth everybody

You know what I was thinking about going out

To like downtown with a size of you know

98.6 the mouth

And just have people call the phone number

At 10 o'clock at night

Just go down there while you're on the show live

And say call this number now

We should just do remotes

For like the middle of nowhere

Yeah you're on the mouth

You know just like get people down the street

No no no I'm serious I would go down

While you're on the show live

Oh shit we're never gonna get off the air tonight we're gonna make this quick

You're on the mouth

That sounds so gay

Hey

Now we gotta wait for him

cards from now on man real soon how's this i'll tell you about it later man buddy milkman's got a

new slew hey call bill bailey mouth everybody 98. you know what i was thinking about going out to

like downtown with a sign but you know 98.6 the mouth and just have people call the phone number

at 10 o'clock at night just go down there while you're on the show live and say call this number

Now

You know like, you know just like get people like down the street

While you're on the show

We had to make this quick though the boys are about a kid again, man, you're on the mouth

Yeah, we do.

We need to break the chain.

That sounds okay.

He's not paying attention.

We're going to cut him off.

Hello?

Yeah, now, right?

Now that I said we're going to cut you off, huh?

Are you there?

Yeah, I'm here.

Oh, man, I thought I heard a dial tone.

Don't listen on the computer, man.

Oh, yeah, well, I was trying to get through it.

Now I've got to set the volume down.

Yeah, we're on delay.

Hey, man, you're having a really good show, man,

Yeah, but don't play other people's clips.

Make your own calls live, man.

It's a lot better.

I heard that clip about 10,000 times.

Which one?

The one about, you know, the dude that called, you know, the pre-recorded one where the dude, he calls up AOL.

AOL?

Yeah, well, you know, I wanted to play that real quick.

I mean, I'm just, what the fuck, man?

It's a nostalgic clip.

Yeah, I pay my subscription every month, and I fucking...

You don't want to hear that shit.

Hey, let me ask you something.

What has a Howard Stern show?

Does that cost money to listen to?

Yeah, serious.

You've got to pay monthly for it.

Well, there's ways around it.

Oh, right, right.

I've seen them, yeah.

I just, you know, I'm not interested in Howard Sterns.

I got a book he wrote, and I'm not impressed with it.

He wrote a whole book about his experiences of jacking off when he was younger, you know.

That's a good story, though.

Yeah.

And he's dressed up like a drag queen on the cover.

Hey, we've got to be quick because Zolar's got to take over here in about two minutes.

You got your fun bag over there?

Hello?

Yeah.

Hey, man.

You're having a great show, man.

And PCR, man, is really good, really good.

And what happened to that Rev guy?

Why hasn't he been on lately?

He got fired by Lego.

He did?

Yeah, Lego and him got into an argument, and Rev's out.

Revi got kicked out. He got eliminated.

Legos firing everybody.

He had a really, really radical show, man.

You ever listen to that dude?

Yeah, he made the guy eat shit on the phone.

Well, I don't know.

He did. No, seriously, he did.

I don't know if the guy did or not, but boy, he sure pissed off a lot of people.

And that's fun to do.

That's what I was trying to do last week.

I was trying to see if you guys were dancing, but you didn't do it.

You're so fucking cool.

It's not a harmonica.

It's like I say, man, PCR.

I tell people to listen, man.

If I say it's the last fucking stand of free speech in the United States of America, man,

where fucking it's just there, man.

It's like First Amendment.

I'll tell you what, man.

Hey, man, you guys be careful because you don't want to be fucking up going to courts and shit

because I'll tell you why, man.

You do a least little fucking thing now.

Yeah, they're trying to bring laws in where they can, like, keep you from ever legally owning a firearm.

Like a keychain?

Yeah, well, basically, hey, dude, did you ever hear of a documentary narrated by Woody Harrelson?

It's called Marijuana, Truth or Menace?

I'm sure he did.

I know he planted it.

Danger or Menace?

No, I'm sure he would do something like that.

Well, I saw this documentary about marijuana and the history of it.

And they totally used the video clips and the laws from when they made marijuana illegal in the United States in 1937.

And it totally shows, man, how they used the fucking media to manipulate the masses of people.

About the Mexicans and stuff. That's what it was about.

Well, yeah, it started out with the Mexicans were the ones that brought it up in 1912.

Yeah, the old Mexicans.

And then they had the marijuana reefer madness.

You've heard of that one, right?

That's a great one.

Oh, have you seen that video about the acid?

No.

The acid video clip?

No, what's that one?

No, but reefer madness is that old black and white where they're trying to...

Yeah, reefer madness.

Not that, not acid.

Yeah, where the guy's playing the piano, he's all crazy.

Well, anyway, what it is is, man, it's just 100% documented, factual, historical fucking truth

about how everybody is manipulated by the media how these fucking people these small handful of

people get everybody goose stepping to their beat and right now they got everybody goose stepping

to go over to iraq and perpetrate fucking warfare on innocent fucking people so that

that fucking corporations can continue fucking killing off brave patriotic Americans.

They hate Americans.

They're trying to destroy our country.

These fucking corporations, man, they want to rule the fucking earth.

That's right.

And try to get a hold of that documentary.

It's called Marijuana, Danger or Menace?

Menace or Truth?

And I'll tell you, man, you'll see exactly what they're fucking doing to us now,

what they've been doing to us all along.

All right.

All right, man.

Hey, brother, man, we've got to go.

It's late, and I'm sorry.

Okay, love, peace, and joy to all sentient beings on the planet.

And I mean that.

Think about that.

Love, peace, and joy rather than hate, warfare, and tyranny.

Think love, peace, and joy, and live it.

I love you all, man.

Well, yeah, we love you too, man.

Take care.

Thank you.

We'll talk to you next week.

All right.

All

Well, you've been listening to 98.6 Point the Mouth.

98.6 Point the Mouth.

I got to go, man.

I'm real tired.

Milkman, we got to cut the show off, man.

Well, Zolar's going on, you know what I mean?

You know what I'm saying?

Yep.

Yeah.

So, Madman, you there?

Madman's been quiet for the last hour.

All right, well, everybody, well, Carlito is going to get me first on everything that's going on.

That's right.

We're going to try to make this show just a tad bit better.

Yep.

We're going to try and make me a little bit of a producer.

I ain't trying to take over nothing.

More responsibilities for Will.

I'm just going to try and take over a little bit more responsibility,

and hopefully we'll just make this show just a little bit better.

I'm sure Will's up to the task.

Milkman's got, you know, something going on with phone calls.

I don't know how he's going to do that, but that's good news, too.

I'm sure it is.

And all of our listeners, I want you to get a number and a name of somebody.

Give it to us.

Send it to us to all our different screen names so that we can make more prank calls for you and everybody else that's listening.

Oh, yeah.

And you're going to make our show great.

That's right.

And Madman, what's up with you, man?

Say something real quick.

We cut you off on accident, man.

What's going on?

It's all good, man.

All right.

Thanks for listening to Madhouse, everybody.

buddy yeah thanks for being here next week same time 11 p.m that's right 11 p.m you gotta say

11 30 p.m you gotta watch out you never know how to do the 10 but you know work don't like us

that's right we try work and others don't like us all right man will fence for coming by

no problem man i'm still sipping on this sipping on some scissor that's right careful driving man

No, I'm straight.

I'm straight.

You watched me, man.

Your old lady told me.

I've only had half the bottle.

That's it.

That's only half the bottle.

Half a bottle of liquor.

He's fine.

Okay, wait, wait.

That's more than half.

Two-thirds of the bottle.

That's more than half.

God help us.

Madman, thanks for being on, bro.

It's always good having you on, man.

No problem, man.

We'll talk to you next week.

And your audio's great tonight.

Better than Milkman.

Way to go, man.

Next week, I'm going to attempt to do a whole bottle.

Jesus Christ.

No, I'm not going to do that.

Milkman, take us out of here, bro.

Thank you.

I'd like to thank everybody for stopping by, man.

Our wonderful friends out there in the chat room.

Provide this with the chat room.

Thank you so much.

Messed up, man.

We love you, man.

You've been a great friend always of the show.

And we owe you a great debt of gratitude.

Thanks so much, man.

Also, I'd like to thank Sweet Kisses and our friends that called in.

My girl, she's great.

Also, I'd like to thank you, especially the listeners, man, because you know what?

It's all about you, man.

We do it for you.

Thanks a lot for stopping in, man.

Remember, next week, send us some great numbers because Will's got some great ideas he's going to spring on you.

So look out, man.

Nobody's safe when the Madhouse is on the air because we love our fearless leader, Carlito, the commandant of the Madhouse.

Thanks a lot, Carlito, for all you do.

All right.

Thank you for everything you do.

I want to thank Lonesome Loser for sending in numbers.

We didn't get to them all, but I will save them what we didn't get to.

I want to thank Milkman for sending in numbers.

I want to thank that cat, Obi.

Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Thank you.

I want to thank Brandon Vegas for calling in.

Jonathan, Crazy Fuckers, Zolar.

I want to thank, who else called in?

I'm missing somebody, aren't I?

Anybody else with the Atari 2600?

We need you to call in next week.

2600?

I don't know.

I got a Commodore 64.

Who else called in?

Is that all who called in?

Las Vegas, New York.

You had the wrong number, girl.

And the wrong number, girl, and PQ.

Thank you for calling me.

Ben in Vegas.

Tuck, I want to thank Tuck for designing and working so hard on the CD cover.

The CD's coming out soon, hopefully in a week.

I keep saying that every week.

Yeah, Tuck's the man.

But, yeah, the CD will be out very, very soon.

Volume 1 of the Madhouse Radio.

That's what I've been asking up to.

All of you listening tonight and everybody who was in the chat room,

everybody who does things here, whatever.

I'm out of gas

stay tuned for Zolar on PCR

prankcallradio.com

stay tuned for Rotation on

pcuradio.com

prankcallundergroundradio

and stay tuned for the best

on the mouth

madhouselive.com

check out the podcast, check out the website

check out the pranks

check out the shirt and the mug

it's all for sale

alright that's it man

good show everybody, good work team

take it easy, thank you all for calling

And show up next week.

Tell your friends to come on to the show.

MadHouseLive.com.

It's the shit.

Bye, everybody.

Let's get this meeting done in five minutes.

I won't let them call our names if it's boring, man.

And you better not let me find out who you're playing with or something,

because I'm going to call the real damn police.

MadHouse Radio is live Thursday nights at 10 p.m. Eastern.

I don't have time for your bullshit.

Thank you, man.

Be sure to visit us online at madhouselive.com.

Calls (7, 7 min of 1 h 35 min)

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