2007-06-07 Show

Who plays What Happens in America?

Well, we steamed your ass in World War II.

What do you have to do?

We never did, and who helped you out just now?

You piss off, woman.

Don't talk to me like that.

We don't need you anyway, bitch.

Shut up.

Fuck you.

Call me a stinky, stinky fucker.

You are listening to the Madhouse Radio Podcast.

Yay.

Whoa.

I think everything is too loud.

Loud.

There we go.

That's more like it there.

Hey, everybody.

Good evening.

Madhouse Radio back on the air.

How you doing?

I'm back.

I'm in a good mood tonight for a change.

All right, for good moods, man.

Cocaine, everybody, cocaine.

Yeah.

Milkman is here, Milkman.

Tell the kids what's up.

Tell them how it is.

You paying attention over there?

Pay attention, Milkman.

Pay attention, you crazy, crazy bastard.

Yeah, so I'm excited about the show tonight.

You know what I mean?

I'm looking forward to doing the show.

I hope you're all excited, too.

And excuse me while I do something here.

Anyway, in the meantime, it is Thursday, June the 7th.

It is now 1128 p.m. Eastern Standard Time.

You know, I think it's safe to say we start this show pretty much whenever we can start it now.

And I can't stick to a schedule.

I'm Puerto Rican, number one.

I'm lazy, number two.

And those will coincide with each other, despite the stereotypes.

But then again, and I'm also overweight, so I'm prone to being late.

And I'm just, yeah, I'm always late.

Ask my Athena woman over there in the other room.

She doesn't even want to be outside with me anymore to listen to the show, Milkman.

Can you believe that?

She doesn't want anything to do with this show.

Oh, my goodness.

I'm kidding.

She's supportive.

if she's running the MySpace page.

Well, let's bring Chloe back out.

Chloe!

That stupid cat.

All right, hey, everybody.

Madhouse Radio is here.

We're going to do prank calls.

We're going to talk.

We're going to talk about stuff.

And you know what?

What do you call the foamy stuff

you put on top of your microphone?

Is that called a muffin cup?

Is that correct?

Am I correct in saying that?

The windscreen.

Yeah, I've got to put that on my mic here real quick.

Can you entertain the people real quick,

giving the toll-free line?

I'm popping.

My peas are popping.

You tell them what it is real quick.

That's right.

right you just take a little thing a pan and it's in a little pan of lumen you put on your

skittle instant popcorn and if you don't do that then you just sound like

see this is better here now i'm not good now i don't pop my peas i need i need nice microphones

like nice you know what i mean like good quality mics is what i need here in this show

this is this credit get you on xlr and get you some low impedance get you some professional

Well, hey, bastard, my birthday is on the 20th, rather, on Wednesday the 20th.

So, hey, send me some of those mics you got over there that you've been honking.

No, I'm kidding.

I don't ask for charity, everybody.

But I do ask that you visit the website madhouselive.com.

Mad.

I'm knocking the desk with my fist.

Is that the new Madhouse?

It's changed a little bit.

The new Madhouse comes on the 14th, the 21st, the 28th will be the unveiling of the new version of Madhouse Radio.

I'm very excited about this, so watch out.

Here's your clue.

Now, we're not going to do a show on, did I just say Wednesday the 28th?

Son of a bitch.

This show's on Thursdays, man.

Thursday the 20th, whatever.

On Thursday the 21st, I'm not going to be doing a show.

But that next week

There's going to be some construction here in the studio

But that week

The 28th of Thursday

Is going to be the unveiling of a new

Way of doing Madhouse Radio

That I think is going to take us above and beyond

Any other podcast or

Internet radio show out there man

So look out for that

There's always innovative driving for the death

Right here in the Madhouse

Right on man

So anyway MadhouseLive.com is the website

You can send us your instant message direct from there, from the home page.

We also have the different ways you can contact us.

Click on the contact page.

Check out our podcast.

You can listen to old prank calls, and you can listen to old episodes updated.

I've got to announce, you know what?

I'll tell you what I did, man.

Over the weekend on Friday and Saturday, I put in about a good, I'd say,

put in about a good 18 hours over the weekend in updating the podcast.

I know almost all day Sunday you worked on it.

all day, just about all day Sunday, and

all the way until 5. You saw my message a few times

and you was really busy. I sat down on my

computer about this time on Saturday

night, and I didn't go to bed

until about 5.30 in the morning.

And I straight up just burnt through episodes

of the show and prank calls, and they're all

up on the website now, so check those out at

madhouselive.com. Anyway, real quickly,

real quickly, if you want to visit us

on, or contact us

rather online, you can do so

at our email address, madhouseradio

at gmail.com you can also do a request a prank at madhouse live.com there's a request a prank form

and it's absolutely free we're here live right now so if you want us to do a live prank call to

your uh whoever it is that you'd like us to prank call if you got a a business you went to this

week and they treated you like shit give us their phone number as long as you're still open we'll

call them tonight you got a neighbor you want to harass you want to mess with your sister a little

bit you know we won't be dirty you know we'll be goofy but we don't we won't be you know dirty

and inappropriate to...

We've never talked inappropriate to a girl on this show.

I'll tell you what.

We're the classiest show on the Internet, man.

We would never talk bad to a woman.

That's right.

We'll talk about that later.

Right.

So don't be afraid.

Give us your mom, your sister, your wife's name even.

We'll call your wife.

We'll treat her good.

That's right.

We'll take care of her.

Don't be afraid to leave the back door unlocked here with a madhouse.

We'll take care of her.

Oh, dude, I've got to tell you.

You know what I saw online on YouTube?

YouTube, there's straight-up video out of Marine Boot Camp, Marine, like, basic training.

What the heck?

Oh, man.

So, I don't know how, but they started, people were videotaping the actual way that they do basic training.

And I swear to God, they treat them, they say some shit.

Like, this one guy, like, they started chewing this guy out because he didn't fight right.

You know, in the Marines, in basic training, they do the thing where they hold the big Nerf bats.

You know what I mean?

They attack each other.

You know, they do that tandem thing.

So this one guy

He was being real weak

And he wouldn't go after the guy

And the Marine told him

Yeah get the fuck back

To the line

End of the line

And he told him

Don't worry

When you come back

In a body bag

Because you didn't want

To kill the guy

I'll take care of your girl

At home

I was like

Whoa

That was fucked up man

You don't say that

To somebody

You know what I mean

The guy has a girlfriend

And basic training

Hell yeah

I need to find that man

man. Someone find that. I forgot what it's called. It's a DVD that you can buy. I'm going

to buy that just to watch the Marine fucking basic training, because they, like, you know,

they break those guys down, man. They turn them into killing machines, you know? I mean,

that's like Full Metal Jacket right there, man, that movie.

Paul Erotica with your USMC.

That's right, man. They straight up, they beat you up.

They haze you. They haze and stuff, man. They like hazing. Those guys love hazing,

let me see if i can find see i'm not going to be able to find any one of those four

marines training i'll see if i can find it here maybe i'll play that audio real quick here we go

i found it right here marines training part one part three i'll see if i can find the one that

it was anyway i digest i digress the messengers that you can reach us at tonight live are the

the messengersers, AOL Instant Messenger users, Madhouse Radio, Madhouse Radio if you're on

AIM, alright, Yahoo Messenger, Madhouse Radio Online, Madhouse Radio Online, Yahoo Messenger,

what's that you say, MSN Messenger, MSN Messenger, Madhouse Live at Hotmail.com, and the toll

free line, Milkman will try to get this right, Milkman, what is the toll free line, my brother?

Eight, eight, ah, seriously, come on, hurry up, we gotta move on with the show, these

These people want pranks.

Okay.

You're supposed to get the toll-free line out.

Thank you for that.

Anyway, the toll-free line is 888-278-8509.

That's 278-8509.

Thank you, Milkman, for giving that out.

Anyway.

Are you high, man?

You don't smoke.

What's wrong with you?

You're kind of loopy.

What have you been doing?

Huffing?

You've been huffing paint over there tonight?

What have you been doing today?

I bet you sat in your office all day and huffed paint.

Oh, hell, yeah.

A lot more work done.

i've never huffed paint before man oh hell no i would never have paint

yeah but who man white people have paint i've never seen a puerto rican or a black guy huff

paint i never heard of a of a you never heard that's for an idiot that can't stand to think

yeah yeah you ever see that picture of the uh after you sniff enough that you don't think

there's a picture on uh the warrior on uh of this warrior guy uh he's a warriors fan and he's got a

a Warrior shirt, and his face is full of

spray paint that he's been spraying in his face.

It's like a common picture over at

fark.com. I'll send

you a copy of that. It's really funny looking.

Anyway, long story.

Anyway, so just go to madhouselive.com

if you want to see how to contact us.

We'll repeat the toll-free line and

everything throughout the night. Man, my mics are really

fucking hot. There we go. That's better.

Anyway, so...

I'm bringing that down. Sorry, folks.

It's going to be a bitch to fix in a podcast now.

Anyway, so the toll-free line here is

1-888-278-8509

And some news real quick

we want to hit up. Since we're mentioning Fark,

that is a new site. Fark.com.

Be sure to check them out. They're a sponsor for the first hour,

everybody. Fark.com. Thank you for sponsoring

the first hour of the show.

Fark.com.

Carlitos.

CarlitosFark.com

News here, Milkman. I shared this

with you earlier. Bob Barker is done.

He's gone. He's done

He's done with The Price is Right.

Yeah, he's 89 years old, is he?

Yeah, I think he's like about one year older than me.

I don't know, man.

That's right, Kenny.

Ending.

Anyway, here's a story.

Giving away one more car to an ecstatic contestant,

Bob Barker taped his last round of The Price is Right on Wednesday,

ending 35 years as host of America's longest-running game show

and five decades on network TV, man.

That's something right there.

You can't have.

They've tried to do the prices right without Bob Barker.

And you know what?

They failed miserably each time.

They did it twice.

Remember, they tried to do it in daytime, and it's always failed.

You have to have Bob Barker.

Well, who's going to be there to find those beautiful models, Janice Pennington and everybody,

and keep the lawsuits going and keep the interest in the show?

All them old ladies that come to the show are hoping they'll get fingered, too.

You know, Bob Barker, he slept with a bunch of those Barker girls back then.

and, you know, the girls that are on the show.

He hooked up with so many of them, man.

He's a pimp.

Bob Barker's, like, the biggest pimp right next to Mr. Rogers, man.

You know, he's been in the Miss America contest for so long, too, dude.

So he's packed on half them young ones, too.

Man, Bob Barker, he's a coxswain, I tell you what, man.

But 83 years old, man.

He kind of modeled himself after Hugh Hefner.

Anyway.

I had a guy I worked with in broadcast television and, like, worshipped this guy, Bob Barker,

and the ground he walked on had tapings of all his episodes.

all the funny things and like together this like huge ass like videotape and produced it in our

studios and like shipped it to him with like a book with all the news like cuttings and everything

out of articles over the years and he was like so in love with this guy that pop bark actually

invited him out to come out to his ranch out there in california man and uh i think he got a piece of

it yeah poor guy man but uh yeah no that's really true though that is really true i know but poor

Poor guy, if it was that deep into it.

But hey, Bob Barker, 83 years old, is done.

It's going to air on the 15th, so that is going to be a week from tomorrow.

So next Friday, the last Price is Right with Bob Barker.

I need to devo, I need to tevo that.

I'm going to set my DVR to do that tomorrow, as a matter of fact.

It won't be available until Saturday.

I can't record anything that's more than six days in the future on my DVR.

Thank you, Comcast.

But, but that's exciting news.

I mean, you know, Rosie O'Donnell, I guess, wanted to get in there, wanted to take it over.

And Bob straight up said, no, sorry, you can't do that.

He doesn't want Rosie O'Donnell to take over.

Fucking that lesbian.

You know that one fat girl from, what was her name?

The one on that viewpoint show during the day.

Star Jones?

No, the black girl.

Star Jones?

Yeah.

Ew, not her.

She's freaky looking.

I think you want to take over.

She's so freaky looking because she had that surgery and, like, she lost all the weight.

But her skin is still big

She's scary looking that lady

Star Jones is really

And she married that guy

Now she looks worse now than she did

When she was chunky

She looks really decrepit

And it's not natural the way she looks

She's going to balloon up

She got married to that one guy that everyone says is gay

Right?

I don't remember his name

But he's like in with that whole troupe

With Liza Minnelli

And that other fag she married

married right all right well check i wanted to mention here real quick over the weekend we had

the uh yes that was his name over the right over the weekend we had the jfk airport uh terror plot

you know you hear about that what was that all about they they arrested some some people in

trinidad or something i don't know and they they were supposedly going to blow up a pipeline

and it was going to blow up half of jfk airport and nut but you know first of all a ton of them

here first of all god damn it i want to mention something um supposedly there's this pipeline that

goes from new jersey to jfk in new york so basically it's it's traveling between two states

going through residential neighborhoods and it's carrying jet fuel to that airport that's like

that isn't that that's going to be like one of the busiest airports in the world i think jfk

i mean dude have you ever been to jfk i've never had the party you ever tried to like get around

rounding traffic up there i've never had the pleasure i've been to manhattan once i took oh

my god i took a bus horror it's not even a pleasure well i'll tell you what i took a bus

from pennsylvania through new jersey to uh to manhattan uh what two years ago when i first

started this show and yeah i would never i couldn't i couldn't function in a car in that

town i'd be like just taxi man just drive me around for god's sake because people drive like

insane people in new york man it's it's insane i don't know i don't know how zolar does it man

It's, like, ridiculous.

It's, like, you're...

I mean, like, they had me traveling, like, either from JFK.

I was working with a company.

We was doing work all over, you know, the East Coast and part of the U.S. here a few years ago.

And they would fly me up there, either JFK or LaGuardia, either one.

And then I would have to try to get my way to the hotel or whatever.

Either wait for somebody to come and show up, you know, and they were usually late.

Or try to, you know, get a late, you know, a bus or a shuttle or something.

Yeah.

And, man, I'd get in that traffic with the metro, and it would take, like, Jesus,

it would take, like, two, three hours just to go, like, 15 miles or more.

Oh, forget that, man.

That's insane.

You might as well just walk or get a horse.

Just ride the horse down the sidewalk and tell people to get the fuck out of the way.

Really, man, you've got to leave LaGuardia and then try to get to Long Island.

Oh, forget that, man.

Or get between the two airports.

Man, it's almost, like, hours.

We're talking, like, several hours.

All right, so it's a busy place.

Okay, but here's the deal.

They actually run jet fuel through a residential neighborhood between two states to get jet fuel.

How is that fucking safe?

How do you run jet fuel from New Jersey all the way?

And why would you have to do it from New Jersey all the way to the airport?

Why can't they just bring...

I guess they don't want to be driving with jet fuel.

Yeah, I guess they must use a lot of jet fuel at the airport, man.

That's like a hub right there.

JFK's a hub.

What's the big airport that's right there in New Jersey?

Oh, Jesus Christ.

I don't know.

Everybody lands there if they don't land in New York.

Oh, Trenton.

Not Trenton.

Newark, Newark, Newark

Trenton, yeah

Newark, no, it's Newark

Yeah, that's it, Newark

That's it

That fucking two of those

That's the one I used to land into

Yeah, two of those planes came out of Newark, man

You know what I mean?

Those planes

You know what I'm talking about

You know, I was up there working on Long Island

Whenever the end of the SST

Whenever that last one crashed

Right

I seen one of the last ones fly over, man

It was a trip

I remember the first time I was up there

And I looked up in the sky

I was like, Jesus, what is that thing?

I mean, it was huge

It looked like a flying saucer, but in the shape of a triangle.

And that thing just, like, glided over, man, and landed.

And, like, within, like, the next day or a few hours, like, within less than two days,

that thing was blown up, and then they never flew that thing again, man.

What exactly is this that you saw? I'm sorry.

The supersonic transport, the SST.

Oh, the Concorde, man, the Concorde. That's what I thought you meant.

The Concorde jet, yeah.

Why did they retire those, and why weren't there ever any more supersonic jets made?

They made it back in the 70s or something.

They're not affordable.

People wouldn't pay for them.

People wouldn't pay for the travel.

They're very expensive.

But New York to London was like four hours, right?

Or something like that.

Right.

But most people won't pay the hundreds of dollars it takes just to take one flight.

Wow, man.

Yeah, I guess that would be a problem, you know?

And they just over time aged and cracked and stuff happened to the fuselage in different parts of the island.

Well, no, no.

What happened, there was debris.

Even the explosion, the maintenance got to be bad, too.

No, the debris, there was debris on the runway from another plane that went ahead of it,

and it had burned it out.

It caught on a tire, the tire caught on fire, and it went up in the wheel well on fire,

and that's what broke up the plane.

That's what it was.

And it was part of the issues also that was coming out.

Hang on, Will's calling.

Let's get Will on the phone.

Will!

What's up?

You got to speak up.

What?

Huh?

I don't know, like...

You just went off the air, Will.

No, we didn't, Milkman.

Like about two, maybe like an hour, 45 minutes, two hours.

I'm feeling pretty good tonight, Will.

It's all right, man.

Just listen in and call in later on, man.

Okay.

All right, man.

All right, peace out, man.

We're at Warwick.

Will, everybody.

Will's a traitor.

All right, Will.

You're a traitor, Will.

That's right.

You hear me?

I was playing with you, man.

I'll see you tomorrow, all right?

Oh, now you're PCR.

Yeah, he's for PCR.

All right, so Will's not going to make it.

So, wow, it's just, man, Milkman, it's just like old times.

Me and you, just like we started out.

Oh, man, that's all right.

We'll still have a good time.

Milkman, you're my Robin Quivers.

The madhouse is still here.

That's appropriate music for that part there.

Okay, anyway, so, yeah.

So, whatever.

They caught some dudes, and they were like, yeah, we're going to blow up there.

We're going to blow up there, JFK.

Didn't he say something like, man, when you get JFK, man, it is important?

He said something to that effect, right?

Like, he said JFK hits home.

They love JFK.

Something like that.

He's quoted as saying something like that.

Yeah, anyway.

Anyway, I just wanted to say real quick here.

A lot of the main flights from all over the world are scheduled to land in JFK,

and then they fly from JFK to a lot of places.

It is really a big, important terminal.

All right, well, there's a story in the Daily News about a Brooklyn waitress here

who apparently was the last person to meet one of the accused masterminds of the JFK plot.

And apparently they're saying that it doesn't seem like he was what they're describing him as.

A lot of people are saying that it's a setup.

It's a setup, Milkman, is what I'm trying to say.

There's evidence there.

I've talked too much about it.

We've gone on a tangent, and I can't actually take the time now to let you know.

And, yeah, anyway, well, here, listen, the informant who helped the feds out is a drug dealer, apparently.

He's the informant who tipped off the feds about the guy, about the plot.

He's a drug dealer.

And, naturally, it freaked people that live at the pipeline out.

saying here um but uh apparently it might be there's speculation it's a move on on new york

city's part to get more funding for anti uh terrorist funds i don't know whatever deal with

it you know it's it's too much to explain right now anyway in new york a man has sued the maker

of a health drink called boost plus because he got a long-lasting erection and i i just want to i

just want to say what's the dr pepper here we call it viagra and don't be a pussy all right

All right, he ended up, let me see how long, how long was his boner, supposedly, though.

Court paper, he woke up the next morning with an erection that would not subside

and sought treatment that day for the condition under severe priapism.

What the hell is priapism?

Priapism?

I don't know, I'm going to post that in the chat room.

Someone define this word for me, I'm doing a show right now.

I don't know.

It's called, it's priapism.

One of them weird conditions that you have if you got like a dog dick without the skin cut off

and your dick gets caught outside the skin or some shit.

I really don't really care to know.

I bet you that was like, you know if you were to take a rubber band

and put it really tight around your thumb and leave it like that for about four hours?

Yeah.

Oh, man, his cock was like purple.

Oh, man.

He underwent surgery.

He should have took it out of his boyfriend's backside before that happened.

All right, look, he underwent surgery so they could put in a winter shunt

which moved his blood from one area to another.

other and then he had he had penile artery embolization embolization penile artery embolization

a penile damn an embolization in his dick a way of closing blood vessels cutting off some blood

flow prevents engorgement and lessens the likelihood of an erection so apparently this guy

he drank a this health drink called boost plus and he ended up with uh a an erection that wouldn't

to go down and he had to get it all mutilated

and apparently

it's supposed to be a great tasting, high

calorie, nutritional, complete

oral supplement for people who require

extra energy and protein

in a limited volume. I need to

find that stuff. Let me get the Lacknerd

cases of that shit right now.

I need to find that stuff so I can

spike a punch bowl or something with it.

So that would make for a

great party.

We'll feature that at our great madhouse party.

Give me a six pack of that.

Famous reunion party.

That's coming the second week of July, I believe, is our one-year anniversary.

Anyway, hey, in Salem, Alabama, there's a KKK Grand Wizard.

You know, they're like the highest-ranked member of the KKK, the Klan.

Oh, right, right, yeah.

Those are the guys that got this big, like, purple hat and shit.

They don't like to wear the regular white one.

Exactly.

They don't wear the white sheets.

They wear the purple sheets.

And they got the fancy cross on them, you know?

They got the nice-looking robes.

And they got nice shoes under.

You know, most Klansmen, they have, like, some nasty work boots or something underneath.

But if you look at these guys, they got, like, nice.

They got, like, Doc Martens.

So this guy here, he wears Doc Martens probably.

His name is John Carolina.

He's a grand wizard.

And he says that he is proud to announce that he is a homosexual.

sexual and he wants everyone to know that this will not interfere with his goal towards the

construction of a white nation so he's a clansman a grand wizard and he is now coming out of the

closet i shit you not he was seen at the meeting with his significant other william maddox who was

not a member of the clan but he supported him and uh yeah he says he's behind john and everything

thing he does he's glad that he found the courage to live freely and without fear wow so uh oh my

yeah it continues on it's very sordid and very disgusting uh anyway uh homosexuality is rampant

in the kkk he says imagine that you know klansmen they're gay who knew but everybody's very quiet

about it yeah so anyway he's yeah he's so he's saying he's a gay klansman and he's he's a grand

He's a grand wizard, so he's crazy racist, but at the same time, he's actually a gay.

I mean, nothing wrong with that, but still.

I'll be damned.

I mean, I had no idea that there were...

I knew he was a gay, too.

You know, they say that, too, and I bet you he was.

I bet you he was.

You know, he goes hand in hand with megalomania.

Yeah, we need Jim Stewart here tonight.

Too bad he's not here tonight, man.

Too bad.

Oh, true.

He's not here tonight.

Anyway.

Yeah, Jim's off working, man.

He's off working on his career, so he'll be back.

All right, anyway, we've got more stuff we'll talk about later.

I think it's time to do some prank calls.

Do we have any numbers?

Hey, you didn't tell everybody about my famous development there.

What's your development?

Tell us real quick.

I helped develop a Rascal Scooter Express.

Really?

A Rascal Scooter Express?

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.

It was in the news.

Okay, okay.

I got this here.

This thing is actually able to go 50 miles an hour, man.

All right, guys.

Listen, this story, I wish I could get this guy's number.

I'm going to post this in the chat room real quick, and hopefully someone out there might

be able to...

Oh, the trucking company that we towed it with.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, we need to get someone to get on this for us here.

We want to do a prank call either to the driver or the guy in the wheelchair.

And I shit you not.

What, like, Moyles trucking?

Yes.

A 21-year-old man was taken on a wild ride Wednesday afternoon.

Today.

Basically, he was in a wheelchair.

He's in a motorized wheelchair.

And he was in his parking lot.

And he was driving his little wheelchair, you know, like me.

And then this semi that he was crossing didn't see him because he's so short in his wheelchair.

and the semi is so high, he was in a blind spot.

So he hit the guy in the wheelchair.

He probably shouldn't have a red flag on his wheelchair.

Right, but he didn't just get hit with a wheelchair.

He actually, his chair got like pinned on the front grail of the semi.

So this guy is going down the highway.

He's going 50 miles an hour, and there's a short-looking guy in a wheelchair

who's a paraplegic or something.

and he's it looks like the guy in the wheelchair is is towing the semi and he's going he's basically

this guy is he's on a wheelchair trapped on a semi's grill going 50 miles an hour today

in pawpaw michigan p-a-w-p-a-w how do you how do you live in a town called pawpaw hey i live in

pawpaw anyway so we're gonna play the 911 tapes we got these here from our source the the arm

in Michigan. Let's go ahead and play those

Milkman, if you can, please.

Actually, you know what it was? We designed

the new Rational Scooter Express.

Yeah, whatever. And this is actually

designed to be heavy-duty and high

performance. It goes to a top-rated speed

of over 50 miles per hour.

Well, here's a reaction to your little

tow-load to the size of a semi-trailer.

All right, Milkman, let's listen here.

On emergency.

There's just a

semi going, what road is this?

Red Arrow, going down Red Arrow

and I had a wheelchair in front of it

with a guy and I don't think he knew

that he's pushing a wheelchair

down the road with a man.

I've got it. Thank you.

They got several calls about this

apparently. That guy sounded like

he wanted to laugh.

But it's no laughing matter, dude.

He's going 50 miles an hour.

You're going completely backwards.

Can you imagine if you're sitting in a wheelchair going 50 miles an hour

and you're being pushed by a semi that you're stuck on?

And you're like, any second now, this guy's going to get on the interstate

and start going like 80.

3.33 p.m.

29 seconds.

Can you imagine that he was pulling the semi?

Yeah.

Under the corner of Hazen and Red Arrow, there is a westbound truck dragging a man in a wheelchair.

He did not see him crossing in front of him when the light changed.

He's out in front of the middle school right now.

He's westbound?

He's westbound.

Who doesn't know he's dragging this man?

Okay, we'll get help.

Oh, jeez.

Here we go.

Help on the way.

Thank you.

Yep.

And all I can think is, meh, meh.

That would be so awesome to see.

I don't know what I would do.

I think I just, I would be walking out of a store, see a guy in a wheelchair going 50 miles an hour on the highway,

and I'd be like, eh, I don't know if I'd call, Milkman.

Would you call?

If you saw that, would you call on the cell phone?

I don't know if I would.

I'd be like, eh, I didn't see that.

I don't want to explain it.

I don't know.

I don't know if I'd.

They got it completely mixed up, man.

Anyway.

There was the Radical Scooter Express pulling the truck down the road,

and people were just alarmed and worried about the truck driver.

They got it mixed up.

Here's another one.

I think this is the good one here.

Jesus Christ, shut up.

All right, God, just calm down.

It's not that big of a deal.

God, we need to get this audio and use it to prank all people.

Jesus Christ, woman.

She's really taking it seriously.

That poor truck driver was terrified.

That poor guy.

Anyway, we should do a prank call now, now that we're hearing that.

I'll keep playing that in the background if you guys don't mind.

Find the name of that, because you sent me the link to it, and I was going to look it up,

and it was like Morrow's Trucking on Arrow Highway Road or some shit like that.

I've got the, I'm looking for the, here we go, the link.

I'm getting the link right now, everybody.

Send the link to MST3 Clay, man.

man. He is really good. Oh, that guy's going to

have it, huh?

He'll find it for you. I'm about

to post it in the chatroom, folks. We're going to do

a prank call here. Give me a second. Let me get myself

situated. We want to call this trucking

company. Yes, we definitely do.

Find out what they think of the new Rascal Scooter

Express. Here's the story. It's got the guy's

name, the driver's name, and the company's name.

There you go. MSC3Clay already found it.

Son of a bitch. Okay, anyway, folks, we're going to

let's see. Let me pick out of my hat here.

We got Jessica, who

has a boyfriend named Ryan,

Ryan and uh say you're his messenger it will be funna Jessica is the owner Ryan is her boyfriend

say that their relationship is over and you're their messenger and I'm their messenger I don't

know what the hell Borat is trying to get me to do those are probably like teenagers and shit

I don't know if I really want to do that I'll call him it just be silly I'm not about to be

like breaking up a relationship man that's fucked up hey we kind of have a few limitations we don't

We don't really like to do any, like, hateful calls, like, against children or sexism or anything like that with children.

We don't like calling law enforcement or government agencies.

Right.

We kind of try to keep it at a minimum as to what we do, but pretty well everything else goes.

Anyway, so everybody, send in your numbers real quick, all right?

Maybe I'll call, I don't know, here we go.

We got Tim Hortons.

Oh, that's the Canadian Donut Shop, man.

What's our rate to Canada?

We got a decent rate to Canada?

We've talked about...

Those are great.

great yeah we're gonna call yeah i've heard about these and is sean ward described into me and i'm

like i like to hang out in the tim hortons you know that sounds like that's right you don't have

them in there they've got these down um as far as i know in the east mid-easter around ohio and

pennsylvania and indiana yeah they're they're around there too west virginia i've seen them

up in that area too but you know you never see them down south krispy kreme is much bigger in

the south right used to be bigger in the north but yeah you don't really see that much dunkin

Dunkin' Donuts and stuff is kind of bigger in the South, too.

Right.

Right, man.

Yeah.

And they're bigger than Dunkin' Donuts here.

Or Krispy Kreme together, supposedly.

They're really popular.

Canada's a big coffee and donut place, I guess.

They're big on bacon.

Oh, I was just going to say, man, they've got excellent coffee, dude.

They've got, like, these lattes and all that crap, man.

They're really good, man.

Hey, hey, I got a revelation.

Are you ready?

Canadians like hockey, bacon, coffee, Tim Hortons,

Big Trees

and Maple Syrup

that's it

that's what Canadian

Sean Ward

alright so we're going to call that Tim Hortons real quick

this is in Canada

in just a moment folks

here we go

stand by

upon a time there was a little boy who lived in the deep dark jungles of Africa

his name was Little Sambo

that house radio is back

milkman messed up

we don't have a phone car to do prank calls

So if anybody out there has a phone card that maybe you can send on over to me,

that would be great, because that way I could do prank calls tonight.

If not, we're not going to do prank calls.

You're going to hear more news with Carlito and Milkman.

Milkman is in his car.

I ordered him to get in his truck, and he's driving down to the Haji Mart.

He's got to go drive two islands over and take the ferry now to get a stupid phone card.

Are you locking the door, Athena?

All right, good.

Athena's locking the door, everybody.

Good for her.

Milkman, you better goddamn call.

I'm going to play some more music while I try to figure something out here.

All right, Milkman, what the hell, man?

What's up, man?

I'm on my way, man.

I'm in the Madhouse Mobile right now.

You're in the Madhouse Mobile.

All right, so what kind of truck you drive exactly, man?

Give me the story.

Well, what it is, it's a customized rascal scooter, and it's got a cab over it.

So if it does rain, then I don't get wet.

It's pretty nice, man.

Milkman, for once, we want to talk.

Look, you know, it's bad enough we can't do prank calls right now until you call back with that code.

So, now you've got to actually, we need to have milkman secrets tonight, okay?

You understand?

Hey, I am right now at warp nine.

All right, now be honest with me.

What kind of truck are you driving right now?

This is a rational scooter, high performance model.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Just tell me, what do you drive?

What kind of truck do you drive?

It's actually, it's a Mercedes.

You're driving a Mercedes?

Okay.

A Mercedes.

Can you honk the horn on this Mercedes real quick?

Please.

Do it again.

People are gathering around the sides of the street, cheering and waving, man.

Yeah, we got milk vans out in Madhouse 1 on the Virgin Islands.

Catch us right now.

Madhouse Mobile Mercedes.

Milk van on location in the Madhouse Mercedes, everybody.

Be sure not to miss milk vans in the Madhouse Mercedes.

That's right, man.

I got my rascal scooter in the back.

Got a little custom lift.

All right, so how long is it going to take you to drive to the gas station where you're getting this?

I am on my way there now.

Now, I should be there within the next three minutes.

And I don't know why that card wasn't going to be refunded.

It was used on a call one time.

So I'm going to buy a $10 card so that we all can have some money.

I apologize about that because that was a brand new $5 card.

Well, I'm keeping you on the air because we've got to do a show,

and you're going to have to deal with it.

Hey, I am going to get out the card, and we're going to do a call.

And what we're going to do, as soon as I get you out,

scratch this card off, and I'll give you the number,

and you'll take it off the air

and you'll take the number down

and you'll start calling

and then I will fly back in the Madhouse Mobile

dodging the police on the way back.

The Madhouse Mobile Mercedes.

Yes.

They'll be on kill

and I'll be back in the studio if you want.

Hey, man, you take WWW,

you flip it upside down,

you got MMM.

That's the Madhouse Mobile Mercedes, everybody.

On location in the Virgin Islands right now.

If you're out there listening to us on the islands.

and then they had 4M.

Be sure to check out

Milkman at the gas station

on St. Croix right now.

Oh, you didn't burn out,

did you?

Oh, shit.

I got my window rolled up

a little bit here,

so that might have been

why you didn't hear that.

Oh, man.

So you're going to be there

in two minutes from now?

Are you being honest

or are you just bluffing me?

I mean, be honest.

I'm timing you.

I am giving you a gas minute

for about two to three minutes

because it's only

like two, three more minutes

to get to my work.

And I'm driving

the back road here,

so I'm going pretty fast.

I'm probably going about

out and it's like about 65 and a 25 so i had to be there a little quicker than normal all right

well interesting and then of course now you get the old grandpa idiot up here he's got his paper

and it looks like he's making about 15 so i'm gonna have to pass you on that he's gonna make

sure i can't pass it now so uh will is on his way to buy uh he's thinking about buying a spoof

tail card online too so maybe we'll have that just in case you crash and you die on the way

I mean, like I said, what other $10 card?

I won't use it.

I only used it once.

And this is what pisses me off, is I used it once to call Jen to a U.S. stinking number

that I should be able to call, and he told me I can call it, and I called and called

and called, and I couldn't get through to it.

Oh, shit.

It's a U.S. number.

Okay.

But I'd call it just to talk to her.

Oh, your cell phone sucks, man.

You and your fucking island, Virgin Islands, stupid coconut cell phone network you got

out there.

Yeah.

The fastest internet you got out there is like 52, 56K out there.

It's like the fastest internet.

Dude, that's mainframe there.

Oh, my God, now that's going to turn.

That's backbone internet right there in the Virgin Islands is that 56K.

Yeah, what they do is they take packets and they put them inside of hollow coconut shells

and they throw them up to the first guy in the tree

and he throws it up to the next guy on up the hill

until finally one gets in the water and flows all the way into the state.

And that's how we get our internet packets back and forth.

That's how you send your mail back and forth, too.

You put stamps on the coconut and you throw it out.

That's right, too, man.

Now, if you want to send it to flow, to hell, you know,

you just flush it down the toilet and wait for it to float all the way to the States, you know.

The rest is crap.

Don't you people, okay, aren't there, like, no lakes on the Virgin Islands

and you have to have these big cisterns on the top of your, on your houses to catch water?

No, we don't have any lakes here.

There was, there was one time, I guess, a long time ago, you know, hundreds of years ago, you know,

a lot of people don't realize that, you know,

of the Virgin Islands, is the second oldest settlement in the New World.

It was discovered in 1493.

There's been Western civilization established here since 1493.

That's a year after Columbus first made it.

Columbus discovered it, yeah.

1492.

The first trip, he was more north.

He did San Salvador.

Right, right.

He took the trade winds and left down England and come a little bit south,

and then he landed there in Plymouth Rock.

And then the second time he came, his original intent was to go to India to get the spices.

Spices and gold.

The Portuguese had already started to master that route.

Marco Polo...

That was where all the money was besides gold.

Marco Polo was a badass, man.

Marco Polo was going all the way around Africa, coming back off the Indian Ocean,

and hooking up with all this Chinese gold and shit.

And he came back and he was the pimp.

Yeah, he went to a radio, he went to the announcement thing.

Oh, God, your phone sucks, man.

No, the Portuguese were the first to get into the spice trade, actually.

Yeah, yeah, so.

This crazy Italian decides, I'm going to go and somebody will sponsor me to go.

And no one would do it, so he asked the Queen of Spain, and they wanted to start making some money.

So they got him a boat, he sent him on the three boats.

And on the second trip, he come back and he discovered the Virgin Islands.

Hey, Milkman, can I interrupt you for a second to ask you a really important question?

Sure. I'm right in front right now. I'm getting a hop out.

I was about to say, has it been three minutes by now?

Yeah.

Okay. Put us in your pocket. We want to hear the inside of the store.

Yeah, you can hear all the... There'll be a bunch of guys talking and shit.

Yeah, I'm on. All right, cool.

All right, cool. We're going to hear the Virgin Islands gas station here in just a moment.

What's it called? Is it called, like, Congo?

It's called Cruis'n.

Cruis'n? Cruis'n gas?

Yeah.

Yeah, go get it.

Yeah, mine would be cruising in the half.

Oh, God, I want to hear this.

Yeah, all this going on, man, it's like hopping, boy.

They got chicken wings frying up here.

They got shrimp.

When was it there?

Man, they got all kinds of fish here you can get right now, man.

What time is it now?

Jesus Christ.

It's what time?

We're just up and down, hopping here, getting their fries and all the goodies.

It's 12.15 a.m. right now in the Virgin Islands, and they're frying chicken?

It's so loud, I can hardly hear you.

Yeah, I can hear you fine.

I'm asking you.

Can you hear me?

Can I get a $10, please?

ask him for his phone number uh-huh ask him for his phone number okay okay how you doing

what does he want to talk to you okay all right all right are you ready to take me off the air

uh yeah hang on folks then we gotta play some music get this uh really loud here all right

we'll start scratching hey scratch you got you can you take me off the air hang on hang on

i'll tell you what i'm gonna most code this to you all right hang on we'll put it right up hang

Hang on, folks.

All right.

Did you hear that guy speaking Arabic to me?

We could barely hear him.

He sounded like he was far away.

Well, he's Arabic, man.

He wasn't talking real loud, but he was speaking Arabic.

He didn't want to talk to you?

No, he really didn't talk real loud.

He's kind of quiet, but he knows me real well because he's the same Arab I get all my cards off of.

All right, cool.

Well, two or three spots I go and get my cards, and certain ones that I use almost always.

I've got like three I use mostly, but this is the most popular one.

It gives it the best in it.

It used to give us like $9 or $10 hours for the same price.

Yeah, we don't get that money.

Yeah, we don't get that much anymore from them.

No, they've cut the mileage down, and I don't know where these come from,

and they don't ask a lot of questions.

They're standing up on some type of card that says USA on it,

and I see it on the Internet everywhere.

I would look for the name of the network on there,

and there's nowhere anywhere I can find any information on it.

Wow.

But where they're coming from, I don't know.

And they do give a nice...

It's probably Saudis, man.

It's Saudi money.

That's what it is.

Dude, I don't know, but I think these cards must have something to do with the Chinese now,

because when the minutes went down, the first access number was the best one,

but now it's a Chinese number.

Oh, shit.

Yeah, but again, to be funny, if you want to dial the Chinese number,

or just dial blind and just, you know, know that it's accepting everything,

you can hear it talk to you in Chinese.

Oh, shit.

All right, look, man, I've got to do a prank call.

Hang on the line, all right?

Alright, hang on, we're calling Tim Horton's for God's sake, hang on everybody, alright, whatever, hang on, don't go anywhere, we're doing a prank call, alright, well this is great, they won't answer, alright, hang on folks, we're about to call someone else, just a moment,

Tim Horton, can I help you? Hey, what's up hon? Pardon? How's it going hon? Hello? Hello? Sorry, can you please repeat that? Can you just turn down the radio please? It's down. Alright, how you doing? Who is this? Did I leave my debit card there?

Um, no.

What do you mean no? I was just sitting in the bathroom.

Hello?

Hello? Is there a man with your daughter?

Put him on the phone.

You sick woman, put him on the phone, please.

I command you.

Is there a debit card there?

Jesus Christ.

Hello?

I guess we have to wait on you.

Pardon?

What happened? I've been contending you all this time.

Hello? Come back to me. I need to speak.

Why are you talking to my papa like that?

Somebody's checking for your debit card right now.

He's looking for his debit card.

We're looking for your debit card.

There's no money in his debit card.

He said he called for your debit card, and you're not talking.

What is it?

What's up?

Hello?

Look at the fucking radio blaring.

God, people.

That Tim Horne sucks, man.

I want a different Tim Horne.

And I hung up on the milkman.

Whoops.

Sorry.

All right, good.

The good news is milkman will be with us shortly.

And also, Will has bought a spooftail card for us, man.

That's awesome.

All right.

I'm going to be back in a moment.

We're going to do a prank call with this spoof tell card real quick.

We're going to call this girl Jessica and make her think that her boyfriend's,

someone's calling on her boyfriend's cell phone to let her know that he's breaking up with him.

All right.

We're bad for this.

I'm bad for this.

I'm the one that's doing it.

I take all responsibility, I'll be honest.

But this is in thanks for you guys for dealing with us while we're going to do prank calls.

Just a moment here.

The next prank call of the night is coming up right now.

Like a woman, that's two.

To use your normal voice, press 1.

To change your voice to sound like a woman, press 2.

To hear a sample of what your voice change will sound like, press 4.

To hear a sample of what your voice change will sound like,

record a short sentence after the tone, followed by the pound sign.

Oh my God, you're listening to Carlito.

...is a sample of a woman's voice.

Oh my God, you're listening to Carlito.

The following is a sample of a man's voice.

Oh my god, you're looking at the car over here.

God dammit!

To change your voice to sound like a woman, press 4.

Why'd you do that 4?

To change your voice to sound like a man, press 3.

To record this call, press 1 now.

I'm calling Jessica.

Hello?

Hey, this is Wendy. What's up?

Well, I just saw your

phone number on Ryan's phone

and I'm like, what the fuck?

This is Wendy. Who the fuck are you?

Hello?

To call, press 1.

To listen to your recorded calls, press 2.

To add minutes to your...

Now, let's listen to this.

Press 3.

You have one recording saved.

June 8th at 1228 AM.

Oh, we need to start using these, dude.

Oh, you can barely hear this.

Hey, it doesn't come in at all.

That says you can barely hear it.

Oh, that's horse shit.

And they probably charge you to do that, to listen to that shit and everything else.

I bet you they're charging you minutes.

And they probably charge minutes for recording in a different voice, I bet.

And for a...

I'll bet you, too.

I bet you they did.

Ah, shit.

I got to look at...

Man, I'm sorry, Will.

I'm going to pay him back tomorrow.

It costs $20.

I'll give him a $20.

It's all good, man, Will.

I'll pay you back.

Thanks, Will, man.

Thanks for coming through with that.

Because we can totally use that in so many situations now.

We can fake our number to look like someone else's number.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

We're trying.

Look, guys.

We're trying to do a show tonight.

So we're trying to do a show tonight

Just relax

I'm going to go on until late

If I need to it's all good

We will do prank calls tonight

Do not panic

No Lonesome Loser

Lonesome Loser is gone

Milkman tell us

Milkman

Hey you are seen out

Milkman

Tell us about Lonesome Loser

What happened with Lonesome Loser

Oh, Lone Sauron.

Yeah, let's stop.

Hardest work.

Oh, shit.

Ouch.

Hardest working man in prank radio.

And he's gone.

We love him.

He's gone.

He's not gone, but he is working, bro.

Listen.

Who pissed him off?

He's actually working a new job, a different job, and he doesn't have time to actually

be here all the time because his shift overlaps with what we do here.

Yeah, right.

So let's all pray and hope that Lonesome Loser and his new endeavors will work out well.

And we'll look forward to him popping back in when he has a chance.

He'll be back.

Yeah, yeah.

Maybe not as often.

He'll be back.

We have only the best wishes for him.

Yeah, we miss him, dude.

You know, I hope he's listening on the podcast.

I should have told him, dude, listen on the podcast.

I know he likes your show.

Of course.

Yeah, I know he really liked this show.

He's always been a part of the Madhouse.

He really liked this show.

All right, anyway, so let me see if I can find a number here that I can call.

We got a prank request to the Gmail address.

I don't see one at all.

Oh, boy.

MadhouseRadio at Gmail.com.

Who sent that in?

Someone did.

I don't know.

Anyway, Tim Hortons has a thing called the Big Tim.

It's a giant mug that holds like 14 cups of coffee.

And he was suggesting we tell him that we drank two of them and now my heart is racing at 220 beats per minute.

That's kind of funny.

Can you find more to everybody out there?

Find the Tim Hortons, man.

We need Tim Hortons.

All right.

If you could find a Tim Hortons for me right now, that would be ace.

Right on.

I'm going to try to look for one myself right now.

Hang on, folks.

I'm going to come back.

I'm going to look for some Tim Hortons since I don't have anybody else who's sending me numbers.

I guess I'll do it myself.

The only problem with that is you're going to end up listening to more music tonight than you would normally.

So, whatever.

Deal with it.

And if you don't like the show, don't listen.

I don't care.

We're right back after this.

Tim Hortons is coming up.

Hey, boy.

Yeah.

Send in some numbers.

Help me find this damn card.

Tim Hortons.

Hello.

Oh, I'll ask you a question, man.

How much caffeine is in this coffee?

Caffeine in the coffee?

Yeah.

Man, I'm touching my...

Yeah, I'm feeling it all over me.

I never had...

I'm not supposed to have caffeine.

You're not supposed to have caffeine?

No, I used to be addicted to crystal meth, man.

Sucks.

And I started using caffeine again, you know?

Yeah, yeah.

Because it's just like crystal meth, man.

Open it up or what?

I had half a bottle of no-dose, and I had one of your big tins.

Oh, man.

Well, what should I do?

What should you do?

Yeah, I got a half a bottle of no-dose, man, caffeine pills.

And you drink a coffee?

One and a half of those Big Tims, man.

You know, honestly, you know I'm not a big Tim, so I don't know.

But if you're really having trouble, I take it you go to the hospital.

You'll be all right, though, man. Sleep it off.

Oh, God, I'm going to die.

I'm going to die.

I can see them still.

You know who I see?

Who?

When I was in Nam, I threw a Molotov cocktail into this hut in the jungle.

Into the jungle?

Yeah, and it was full of the old men from the village.

Yeah, they were protecting the rice at the village, and we had to burn it down.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

And where was this at?

In Vietnam.

In Vietnam?

I got shot by a sniper in Da Nang.

Is that how you got hooked on crystal meth?

No, I got shot in the pancreas.

The pancreas? Out of all places in the pancreas?

No, I'm done, Derek.

Do you need a medic?

I need a pancreas.

You need a pancreas? I can't help you on that one, man.

Get out of your pancreas. I'll give you my liver.

You can't live without your liver, bro.

No, I'll keep a small piece of it.

Small pieces?

I won't drink.

I don't think they've ever had a successful liver transplant, so I'm going to have to pass on that.

Well, they haven't had a successful pancreas transplant yet either, have they?

Yeah, I guess.

So what do you know, man?

man, you gotta, you gotta have, uh, faith, man, like, uh, hold on one second, here, here, talk to

Holly, all right, hello, hey, who's the dude that got in trouble for asking for gay sex in that

bathroom in California, is that George, George Michael, I don't know, you know that song, you

gotta have faith, yeah, you gotta have faith, well, I'm diabetic, I'm diabetic, and I weigh 428 pounds,

and i'm jack masterson you understand i'm diabetic you understand that now i came in and i got a

coffee and i asked for splenda and you put sugar in it and i didn't know until i drank about two

thirds of it and now i'm going into a diabetic coma all right that's it for her she's not going

to have any more of that she will make sure you stay down that was great was that any good i don't

know what i was doing there i have a bottle no does man bottle no does man that's some harsh

shit right there we'll continue calling numbers like that throughout the show tonight don't worry

we still got some show left folks don't worry we still got to take a break and after the break

we'll do more prank call the g talk here i sent you a couple messages man i don't want to take

a break in because if i take a break now man it the show goes it just you know every time we take

Take the break, and it's like...

Go take a dump in about an hour to be all right.

It's like diarrhea.

Cha-cha-cha.

We can't take a break.

We're going to take a break like in maybe a half hour or something.

We're going to wait until 1 o'clock at least to take a break,

and I'll take a break, and I'll come back, and I'll do more prank calls.

All right.

So, hey, I've got to turn the toll-free light off.

Do you think people want to call this catastrophe of a show tonight?

Let's find out.

Heck, yeah, man.

Don't call on in, man.

Tell everybody how to call in.

Milkman, tell them how to call in while I turn the toll-free line off, please.

Dude, all you do is you just take our dime.

Just dial on the phone to 888-278-509.

That's right.

All right, 888-278-8509.

And we're paying for the dime.

You just give a little time, and we'll make a call with you.

Yes.

All right, so, hey, we have confirmed here that priapism is basically a stiffy, a boner that won't go away.

Someone in the chat, Milkman, can you find that real quick, where that was from?

Someone give us the scoop on what priapism is.

That was like an hour ago, and I never read it.

i didn't get to it yeah scroll up real quick and read that to me i'm a little busy here anyway yeah

yeah i screwed them up and it says saigon oh great anyway so try to find out anyway folks i'm gonna

i'm gonna do another prank call here in a second but let me just turn on the toll-free line first

i'll be right back all right toll-free line is now open if you want to call in 1-888-278-8509

the line is now free now is a perfect time if you want to call in the toll-free line is open

so please do call us, 1-888-278-8509.

Hey, man, Ted's got a good idea.

Coffee-flavored donuts.

I tell you what, that sounds kind of good.

Coffee and peanut butter flavored.

Hey, you know, oh, man, a peanut butter-flavored donut?

Oh, man, that would rock.

Someone needs to do that.

Peanut butter donut, everybody.

Peanut butter donut, bitches.

How about punching on the menu on Sunday?

What do you say there, sir?

Not much.

Just getting ready to go to bed.

Yeah, we're having a lot of technical difficulties tonight, man, but I'm trying.

And you know what?

We just did a pretty good prank call, I think.

I listened to some of it, but my internet shouldn't still fall for tonight.

Oh, man, really?

You got bad weather or just your mom turned it off on you?

No, I got my internet on a timer.

Huh?

And it turns off at night.

You have your internet on a timer?

Yeah, because my routers get real hot, real easy.

and I only had to go through two of them because they burned up real easy.

How many routers do you have?

I have a fan on it. I have a fan on my router.

I got the main router and I got the wireless router.

Well, dude, wait, wait, wait, you got a wireless router and you got what else now?

I got the main router itself, the modem.

The modem, yeah. Okay, right, you got the modem and you got your router, right?

Yeah, I got a Belkin N1 wireless router for the laptops.

Wait a minute, but you only need one router.

Yeah, I got one for my laptop also because I don't have long extension cables to plug into local lines.

You know what you've got to do. You've got to get a wireless adapter on that other computer on the desktop, man.

You should only have one router. You're killing your bandwidth there, my friend.

That's too much and that's not very green.

I've got one, two, three, four computers in this house. We have one router. One wireless router. That's it.

But, yeah, I'm thinking about upgrading.

You know Comcast, they've got that higher speed now?

Yeah, that's what I'm planning on doing also.

That's like an extra 15 a month.

I'm going to get that.

I just started with Comcast now.

They took over my company that I was using before.

So I'm forced to get with them now.

And they say there's going to be outages this month.

So I'm waiting.

They do them at midnight.

So usually this happened before in the past.

The cable company decides to do an outage, and I lose the Internet right at midnight.

night and it happened a few times like during the show and i'd have to come back the next day and do

another show would piss me off man anyway and so hey i'd appreciate you calling in what do you got

planned what do you got planned this weekend you're going on vacation again anytime soon

uh probably in a couple of weeks okay where to exactly any plans um not for sure it might be

orlando florida hey man well if it is orlando let me know okay all right um you never give me your

your other number so I can get a hold of you.

I can...

Well, you know, you're online. You can send me

messages and stuff. There's ways to get a hold

of me, man. Yeah. You gotta be able

to. Oh, there we go.

Now the phone's on. Anyway, alright, man.

We'll say hi to your fans real quick, if you could.

I would just like to say hello to all my

fans and listeners, and I hope

you'll have a great weekend.

Alright, Jonathan. Alright, well, I'll

talk with you all later. Yeah, Jonathan.

Yeah. Yeah, Jonathan.

Yeah. Yeah.

Hey, boy.

Yeah.

I need a cheese sandwich, man.

Yeah.

Grilled cheese.

Say yeah real quick, Jonathan.

Go give him yeah.

Yeah.

All right.

See you later, man.

All right.

Later.

Crazy guy.

Yeah, Jonathan.

He got his routers on a timer.

He's got just a little fan on him.

Dude, yeah.

Just turn one of the routers off.

What the hell?

I got to turn it off because my routers get hot.

Okay, Jonathan.

All right.

You don't have to.

You don't run routers.

Do you want my riders get hot too, baby?

Know what I'm saying?

Okay.

I'm a little 12-volt fan.

I just got a little plug I put inside of my case, and I plug it right in, and it goes

right out on a little extension cord, and I build a little stand for it, and it sits

right up on top in a basket.

Okay, now check this out.

We got a number here submitted by Sam with a 2M-a-ma.

Sam Emma has sent in a number in Australia.

Do we get okay rates in Australia?

All right.

Good?

$10 card.

We got rates.

Okay, this is a shop called the Recycled Office Shop.

Yeah, this one.

Okay, good, good.

All right, this is called the Recycled Office Shop.

And ask for a guy named Don.

He has a really short fuse.

There we go.

And he suggests we say the keyboard is missing the F-A-T keys.

You'll think of something.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

And just complain about a second computer laptop.

You're about to.

Everyone unplug your power.

Yeah, so.

Get your internet savings card.

All right, we're going to call Australia, everybody.

Everybody, we're going to do a Fat Albert call tonight.

Talk to my mic.

I'm locked for a couple of dollars.

And if I'm a gimmick, then I'm going to get my internet one night.

So let's not go out tonight.

Give me the call or stop on in and say hello.

Because it was just a thin accident, Mike.

Yeah.

I don't know where you got that from or where you're going with it.

But it sounds like fun.

Milkman, good.

Milkman's having fun, everybody.

All right.

I'll tell you what.

Milkman's having fun.

All right.

And for Dr. Peppers.

For Dr. Peppers.

Okay, Forrest Gump, everybody.

We'll be right back with the next prank call tonight.

Just a moment, please.

He said he wasn't sure.

Good afternoon, Recycled Office Shop St. Peter's.

This is Nathan.

Hey, man, what's going on?

Hello?

Thanks, sir.

Is this the Recycled Office Shop?

That's right.

You got any glass tubes?

Glass tubes?

Inside the monitors, man.

You got any glass tubes?

No, I don't, sir.

What abouts do you got?

You got furniture?

Do you got coffee makers?

No, it's furniture and office.

I got a list of stuff I need.

You let me know what you got, and I'm coming in to get whatever you got.

Money's not an object.

We're opening a Jurassic Park over here, you know?

Okay.

All right.

Coffee maker?

No coffee maker.

Okay.

Showerheads?

No showerheads, sorry.

Desk?

Desk, yes.

How many desks do you have?

Approximately probably 20, 10 to 20.

10 to 20?

Yeah.

Now, is this the thick balsa wood, or not the thick balsa, the shitty balsa wood,

or is it the nice, thick, hard oak?

Yeah, it's a mixture.

Would you stand on it?

Yeah, you can stand on some of them.

Okay, and would it be safe for me to test it out if I stand on them?

Depends on which one you're looking at, really.

Okay, would it matter about my weight?

Sorry?

Would it matter about my weight?

I guess it depends, yeah, purely.

I weigh like 320 pounds.

How many is that in kilograms?

I have absolutely no idea.

It's like 20 kilograms or something.

I'm not sure.

Yeah, so I weigh 320 pounds, and I just want to come in.

I don't weigh that much, 320 pounds.

That's no big deal.

I come in, I just want to, you know, if I stand on the desk, if the desk does not collapse, I will get it.

If it breaks, I don't get it.

Okay?

Does that work?

I think that's a fair handshake.

Yeah, it'd be something I'd probably have to speak to store management about.

Well, rush, rush.

Get him on, what's his name?

Sorry?

Tell him Valente is on the phone.

Valente.

Valente?

Yeah, can you please?

Okay.

All right, thank you.

Oh, yep, give me a tick.

All right, then, hurry up.

Valente on the line in a moment, folks.

folks hey look at your gmail man we got a number from moyle's truck okay oh awesome awesome awesome

i see it now thank you oh man they were the first victims of the rashful scooter express all right

i'm not gonna wait for this guy anymore we're gonna clear the line here if he doesn't hurry up

by the time i get the number ready in the meantime i'll play this call we'll see if this guy comes

back. If not, we will have

the trucking company. Milkman, I don't have this

here. What the hell is going on?

Milkman,

in my Gmail or my Gtalk? I don't see that here.

What are you talking about? I don't have it.

It's your Gtalk, man.

The regular old Gtalk

where I sent you the number the first time.

They're in Kalamazoo, Michigan?

Ralph Moyle, Inc.

Oh, look at that. Okay.

Well, maybe they're closed.

I don't know. We're about to call the guy in.

We'll see if this is the guy.

company, and most trucking companies are open

around the clock. Yeah.

Well, we'll see. Hang on, folks. Let's see if we can get this,

either the guy in the wheelchair or the company.

They're not going to answer the company, but we'll try the guy

who was on the wheelchair that went flying

today. Hang on, folks. Hi, how are you doing? How can I help you?

My God, lady, what is the big deal with

the wait over there? How can I help you?

I mean, hey, I've been waiting for how long?

This is Valente. This is who? Valente.

Valente. Right.

How long have you been on the phone while

I've been arguing with my spouse? How can I

help you, sir? Well, I'm asking you, how long have you been

listening on the phone while I've been with my spouse.

Are you a woman or a man?

I've been out of lunch.

I've just walked in the door.

The guys have asked me to pick up the phone.

I've picked it up, sir.

What's your problem?

What do you want me to do?

Don't give me any guff, ma'am, okay?

I'm American.

Don't give me a lecture about what you're doing with your wife, mate.

I've asked you, do you want some help?

I've asked you three times, do you want some help?

Listen, kid, this is America, okay?

Do you understand?

Wow.

That's a firecracker right there, boy.

All right, we'll call her back.

Hang on.

Disrespectful woman.

We'll call her right back now.

Good afternoon, Marisa. I got off the shop. Madeline speaking.

Where do you get off hanging up on me like that?

Excuse me, I haven't spoken to you before this.

Yeah, this...

Who am I speaking with?

I spoke there with either a child or a woman who sounded very masculine.

Well, it wasn't me, so I don't like to be spoken in that tone. Thank you.

Well, she spoke to me in that tone, and I'm on guard.

It's really got nothing to do with me. I'll allow you to speak to her, won't you, by the way?

I don't want to talk to her, goddammit, son of a bitch.

We'll change the tune here first.

how many rude women do they have that work here god damn let me talk to somebody around here

these women sound like they weigh like 200 pounds let's get women here they probably got hair on

their arms good afternoon stewart speaking stewart you know i was talking there to some woman who

spoke to me with a lot of guff and i'm america number one and i'm italian also and i don't know

I don't know where women in this country that you live in get around telling men what to do.

Now, I want to know who it was that talked to me with such attitude and guff when I was calling in earlier asking about the desks.

My name is Valenti.

Right.

Fuck right.

Yeah.

You're being pretty bloody rude, mate.

What do you want to buy exactly?

This woman here told me in a very rude tone that she doesn't serve my people.

Oh, okay.

I said...

She was sitting right next to me.

I said, this is America.

This is America.

And she hung up the phone, a slap in my face, like, to say, oh, this is America, we don't serve your people.

You are sick, sir. You Asians are sick.

Oh, I'm Asian now, am I?

You live in Asia, don't you, you douchebag? This is Asia.

Right, I'm a douchebag now.

Oh, yes, you know what that is? What do you call them, Walla Woos here or something like that?

I'm like NYPD Blue with these wankers from America in there.

Don't make fun of my accent, sir. Do not make fun of me, buddy.

You sound a little fruity. You don't just sound Australian. You sound kind of there.

I'm on a day pass. I get out of the mental home every now and then.

No, I'm not talking about... No, you take it in the ass is what I'm trying to say, sir. You know what I mean.

Yeah.

You're kind of a fruit.

Is this SAFM or Triple M? What radio station are you from, buddy?

Triple M. This is 98.6, the mouth!

98.6, the mouth!

Washington, D.C.

You're a top bloke, mate.

How you doing, my friend?

I'm not too bad.

Ah, good.

Well, hey, I would like to thank you very much.

Now, you've won a trip to Walt Disney World, the Walt Disney World Resort,

if you're willing to take it after the abuse we gave you.

So what do you say?

Would you want to accept our offering?

I'd love to go to Walt Disneyland, mate.

Yeah, okay.

No, no, no, not Disneyland.

Walt Disney World, baby.

Oh, there's two different ones, isn't there?

Disney World, Disney World.

Get it right.

All right, so tell everybody who's sending you to Walt Disney World.

In the name of your station, sir.

98.6 the mouth.

I guess he doesn't want his tickets.

Was that first Tim Hortons we called in British Columbia?

Is that where it was at?

It was at what?

Was that first Tim Hortons we called in British Columbia?

Yeah.

That was an excellent call.

Yeah, that was good.

Oh, man, you got to love the mouth, huh?

Okay, okay.

Scratch that last one.

Yeah, that was a great call.

That was great.

We're having a fun time here.

It's been quick.

Down under, the big funny station is Triple J.

Remember, well, I don't know if you remember,

remember but one of the first times i heard like a a soundboard on commercial radio was triple j in

australia where they actually use the arnold soundboard and like broadcast it on commercial

radio man yeah so they are they're really into the pranks down there too yeah well she said he

said triple m i don't like triple m isn't that what we said was was that was you your appearance

you just made at the the gas station yeah the uh the the madhouse what was it the the madhouse

Mercedes Mobile. What was it?

Madhouse Mercedes Mobile.

No, it was the Madhouse Mobile

Mercedes. That's what it is. The Madhouse

Mobile Mercedes.

Okay, well, hey,

should I try to call the wheelchair guy first?

Yeah, let's go ahead and try to call that

trucking company. I think it was the number for the trucking

company. Yeah, well, they're usually

open around the clock. You think so?

Yeah, I guess they're open 24-7.

They'll have like a dispatcher.

Alright, well, cool.

Cool. Hang on, everybody. We're going to do that next.

I just had an odd conversation with a woman there, but the mic wasn't working.

Crap. You guys didn't even get to hear that. Son of a gun.

I've got to take a break. I've got to fix the phone, Milkman.

I've got to come back and wrap up the show. You know what I'm saying?

Are you there?

We heard the bitch coming on the 911 line.

Yeah, I was playing the other one.

Hang on, we've got a caller here who keeps calling.

Let's talk to the caller who keeps calling.

8966.

Don't give out the number on the air, man. What's wrong with you?

What?

I forgot to turn on the phone. I'm so stupid, man.

I had the phone in my hand

And I didn't turn it on

And I was like

Why can't this kid hear me

And I didn't hit talk on the phone

Ain't that fucked up man

Yeah

How old are you

Fifteen

Fifteen word

Wow man

That's something

Borat's thirteen

Good times

Is this Borat

No

Okay cool

You know who that Borat kid is man

Yeah

What do you think

You got beef with him

What

You got beef with him

What

You got beef with him man

I guess.

You open his spaces?

I'm his friend.

Oh, you are?

Okay, that's cool.

Tell him I said hi.

Tell him to call in sometime.

Okay.

All right, so whatever.

So, well, you got a number for me to call.

Don't give it on the phone.

Everyone's going to hear it, and you're going to get me in trouble.

You know how many people?

There's 228 people listening right now on the Madhouse Radio Network.

Yeah.

That's me.

I was banned.

You're a, you're, okay.

Hey, man, I'm going to go.

No.

What?

Can you get me unbanned?

You're banned from the chat room?

What'd you do?

I guess I offended KD, yeah, KDK.

What did you say to Tasty K?

Yeah.

What did you say to KDK?

I said, I didn't say anything to him.

I just said, like, nothing to him.

It was like, uh.

Let's see.

Okay, at 11.56, it says that KDK banned you, and then you got kicked.

What did you do?

What's your name?

Your name was Kurt, and you said, hi to Borat, and then you made spaces,

And you said, so Kurt's the program director

Kurt, go fuck yourself

See, I don't know what's going on, man

I can't unban you because I don't know what the shit

This is all complicated

I can't figure

What did you do?

What happened?

Why did KDK ban you?

What'd you do?

I guess I offended him by telling somebody else up the butt

Oh, okay

So, can you?

I've got to talk to the council, man

I mean, you put him in a bad position, you know

I mean, it's pretty bad

You know why KDK doesn't like that, right?

Yeah

I'm just saying

Why'd you test the water?

Okay, you didn't mean it against him, though, right?

I mean, I could put a good word in for you, you know?

Yeah.

All right, KDK, man, let this kid come back in.

He'll be good, right?

You won't do stuff like that again?

No, I won't.

All right, you're just going to be cool.

You'll chat and stuff, and you'll be cool, right?

Yeah.

All right, well, I'm saying here Carlito here says that we should let this kid get back on in the chat room.

Okay.

All right, fair enough?

Yeah, thanks.

All right, I'll do what I can.

I'll go behind the scenes and stuff, and we'll talk, all right?

All right.

All right, bro.

Good luck with that, all right?

Okay.

All right, buddy.

Bye.

Those kids, man.

Those kids.

I'll tell you what.

Are you around?

He just wants to get unbanned, man.

Hey, man, unban that kid, man.

I don't know what he did.

It could not have been that bad, KDK, man.

He's just a kid.

He's just a kid, man.

Let him be.

And 15-year-olds talk about gay and everything, and they don't even know any better.

He doesn't know.

Probably run his mouth and didn't realize that, you know, some people don't want to hear that.

Probably was an accident.

Oh, man, KDK, you were a kid once, man.

You were 15.

I'm sure you did prank calls when you were 15

And you would have been into this

You know, you would have been like

It's all it was

It's a kid

Anyway, we're going to take a break here

But everybody, free Kurt, man, free Kurt

You know what I'm saying? Free him now

Give him freedom, he deserves his freedom

Alright, we'll be right back after the break

We're going to be gone for about 5 minutes

We won't go anywhere

In the meantime, if you want to call in

888-278-8509 is the number

And that's about the half of it

We'll catch you in just a moment here.

Madhouse Radio, madhouselive.com.

And coming soon, 98.6themouth.com.

Stay tuned for more information on that as it becomes available.

We're right back after this, folks.

1.10 a.m.

Friday's here.

All late.

Got to testify.

Come up in the spot, look at extra fly.

Yeah.

For the day I die.

Radio will be back right after this.

Don't tell me 40,000 people are coming here.

They're not here.

Uh-huh.

Hey.

Hey, everybody.

We're back.

Madhouse Radio is back.

Say hi, Milkman.

Milkman.

Man, you sound really low, Milkman, tonight.

Not very loud at all, buddy.

Look into that.

Crank you down, buddy.

Crank that shit up.

All right, folks.

We're going to do some more prank calls and call it a night here pretty soon.

I know we had some technical difficulties, but I think we've done pretty good.

Drinking myself a Diet Pepsi, Vanilla, and Vodka.

Wow.

All right.

Just going to clear some things here in the chat room up.

Borat, we're done with you.

Apparently, Kurt has not been freed yet.

Oh, well.

Sorry, dude.

I tried.

Sorry, dude.

I put in a good word.

All right.

Nunu gave us the number for the white supremacist conference that I missed last week.

And it says...

Did you try to call the truck?

Try to call what?

The trucker.

More company.

Oh, that's right.

Yeah, I got that here, too.

Oh, we did.

Yeah, they didn't answer.

Place is closed.

Said they weren't accepting calls at this time and put me through to a machine.

They're not accepting the calls, I guess, because of the situation.

But I am going to try to call the guy who has the same name as the dude on the wheelchair.

We'll see maybe if we got the right guy.

So it's only like 1220 there.

He's probably still awake.

He didn't have that big of a day today.

No problem there.

He's all right.

We'll play this for him here in memory of him.

We'll be right back with that in a moment.

Martin?

Is Mr. Carpenter there?

Mr. Carpenter?

No, this is not Mr. Carpenter.

Is this Ms. Carpenter?

Yes.

Where's Mr. Carpenter at?

He's calling.

I'm calling from Rascal Scooters.

To what?

I'm calling from Rascal Scooters.

Is this the house of the wheelchair kid?

You know who that is?

No.

This dumb idiot was in a Rascal Scooter.

And he got pushed down the highway 50 miles an hour in his stupid wheelchair like a moron.

And now he's like, oh, Rascal Scooter.

Well, I got news for him.

I'm the CEO.

My name is Radio Shaq.

And I'm the CEO of Rascal Scooters.

I'm here, and I'm going to tell him that he's not going to sue us for nothing.

What are you talking about?

I've been drinking, and I'm the CEO of Rascal Screws.

You know what that is?

No, I don't.

It's these motorized wheelchairs that those retards drive.

And this idiot picked it up at 50 miles an hour and started dragging this semi-truck down the highway.

And now he said he's going to take my job.

Well, I'll tell you what.

Oh, God damn, no, buddy.

You understand what I'm saying?

Yeah, but I don't know who you are.

I don't know how you got my phone number.

Well, I'm looking for wheelchair retard carpenter.

Whatever.

whatever bitch

don't hang up the phone

stupid

don't hang up the phone

I'm retarded

alright folks

that was that

I guess that's not the guy

but that was still pretty funny

I'm sorry for being rude

but it was funny

alright so you want to know

what the real news was today man

I've got breaking news

breaking news

you ready for this breaking news

alright

the breaking news

Paris Hilton

is now in jail

yeah

alright man

oh wait I got breaking

I got breaking news

It's thick in the night

You know Paris Hilton got broken out of jail

She got released from jail

She got put on house arrest for 40 days

She claims that

It was all like shoplifting wasn't it

She doesn't shoplift

She claims that she had mental distress

And she was seen by a psychiatrist yesterday

And said that she was at the point of a mental breakdown

Mentally undressed

Something like that

So they let her go home

Instead of serving her 30 days or something like that

And now the breaking news is apparently, apparently, she's being forced to go back to jail.

She's ordered to return to prison is the most breaking news.

She went in on Sunday or Monday or something like that at midnight.

She got busted out today, and now she's got to go back again.

So there you go.

Apparently hours after Paris Hilton was sent home under house arrest Thursday.

I'm not picking them jailbird biatches.

Okay.

Okay, hours after being sent home on Thursday,

the judge who put her in jail for violating her reckless driving probation

ordered her into court to determine whether she should be put back under bars.

So she apparently is probably going to be going back to jail.

All right, all right.

Milkman.

I want to see her in that little pinstripe dress.

Whatever you say, man.

You're a pervert is what you are.

We're going to do another prank call, I guess, here.

I don't have any numbers to do, honestly.

Actually, I think we're going to end up...

One for the little puppy dog in the bag?

No.

Yeah, well, the Chihuahua, right?

Isn't that the Chihuahua she has or something like that?

Yeah, I think it's a Chihuahua.

It's a little rat dog or something like that, yeah.

I love Chihuahuas.

They're cool, man.

She just retarded.

She is.

But hey, man, she should have been in jail anyway.

Whatever.

That's not going to work out.

Speaking of cool dogs, there's Baby Puppycat, man.

Baby Puppycat.

Yeah, man, it's hot to me.

Those are probably my two favorite dogs.

dog whatever you say brother whatever you say all right guys we're going to do another prank

call here in a moment listen to the song and behave yourselves we're going to do one more

prank call here in just a moment hey baby puppy cats out there listening probably

sorry i took so long but you know i'm stupid

hey

all day in hotel gringo let's change my help you hey this is hotel

gringo hotel gringo yeah you said the hotel gringo greenville yes how's it going you got

any gringos there for red in your spaces plenty of spaces bigger your space 20 by 10 and you can

put so many mexicans in yours how about that man put a lot of room you can get a lot of room in

there that's true does that include the bathroom no no get a couple more in there i like to sleep

in the shower sleep in the shower and i leave my sweater on but i don't have any pants okay

and i like i like cold water i like you know what i do i turn on the water and hot is it good

uh-huh and then i let the hot water run out of the water here and it goes from hot to it gets

very cold yes but i don't think if i stay in the hotel the hot water don't run out right

It shouldn't.

That would take a long time to run all the hot water out.

Would that be a problem if I turn on the faucet and the shower glass and flush it?

Would it be a problem if I do that?

If I keep the shower on the whole time I'm in the room?

As long as the tub doesn't overflow, no, it really wouldn't be a problem.

I just want to waste your water, man.

I understand what you're saying.

I like to get my money worth.

That's a good point.

Very good point.

And I get it out of you.

Not out of me, but out of the company.

You tell me, how much it cost for the material in your room?

50 cents?

How much did I pay?

$52?

How much is a night?

$99.95.

For your spaces?

For the space.

But you know who I am?

No, I don't.

I'm Priceline.com's William Shatner.

Are you now?

So give me my special rate.

That's a big cent.

Yeah, it's my real accent.

So give me the special rate you give William Shatner, man.

Shatner would probably get $89.95.

Oh, yeah

So tell me about your toilets are they why is they white? Oh, yes

Why I am I'm practicing now flushing my toilet over and over again twice in my toilet

You well if I turn on the child a hot water full blast you're not gonna give me any chip, right?

Why? Why would I do such a thing?

Because you're wasting my water. I'm Mr. Greenvear. I'm Mr. Greenvear. Greenvear, don't waste my water.

I never have a problem with water.

So do you like making yourself burn with hot water?

Pardon me?

Do you like making yourself burn with hot water?

No, actually, I'm kind of with you. I like the cold shower, kind of thing.

No, but I turn it on hot first.

Well, once it runs out of the hot, then you got a nice cold shower.

Well, I sit on the shower, floor of the shower, and I let the scalding hot water come all over me, and it looked like a lobster.

That would hurt.

And then when the water finally runs out of hot, it comes out cold.

Yeah, to cool you off, yeah?

Yeah.

It's like a black and white cookie, man.

I call it the jing-jang.

Really?

It's called the jing-jang shower, man.

Never heard of it.

Jing-jang shower.

Okay, I'll take your word for it.

So how is your room services, man?

Room service?

Room service stops at 9 p.m.

And when does it stop?

It starts at 6 a.m.

I like a salad in the morning, man.

You like a tossed salad in the morning?

Tossed salad, yeah, man.

You're going to toss my salad.

You're coming up to me, man.

No, no, no, no.

Oh, you say I know what you mean.

But we do have a street out in front where there's plenty of salad tossers.

Do you have grape jelly?

We do, as a matter of fact.

I prefer grape jelly.

Well.

Outside of that, I prefer jelly.

How about strawberry?

Nah, fuck that.

No, gotta be grape.

Wait, what about, you ever do, on your toilet, you ever do maple syrup?

I can't say that I ever have.

Oh, it's good.

Syrup on your toilet.

Look, man, we're being perverted.

The other night auditor, he likes the syrup on everything.

He's a faggot.

Go.

You have a good night, then.

What the hell that was, but that was what it was, man.

How was that?

Good?

You know, I don't know, I think I'm doing a bad show tonight, but if you don't like my

show tonight, I'm sorry, it's a bad show, I'm trying.

Give me credit for that, bitches.

Thank you.

We're out of numbers, unless you know something I don't here.

Milkman, talk.

Okay, well that's...

Yeah, man, that was a great, but I don't think you can hear me, you got me muted.

You're not muted, I haven't touched the mute all night, you horse's ass.

Alright, so we talked about everything, so there's a Thundercats movie coming out, everybody.

Alright, Thundercats movie, yay.

Okay, Thundercats live action movie in the works.

Confirmed today.

Woo!

All right, folks.

We're going to be here next week.

Again, that'll be the 14th.

And the week after that, we won't do a show.

Sorry.

This episode should be on the podcast eventually,

so be sure to check out madhouselive.com.

There is also a newsletter that I'm starting up,

and that's going to be available over at madhouselive.com.

So watch out for that.

I'll give the word when all you need to go online to madhouselive.com

and sign up for the Madhouse Newsletter.

It's going to be called, of course, what else, Milkman, but the mouth.

All right, Milkman, take us out of here, man.

Yeah, man, I'm on a tremendous delay.

It must be like a 25-minute delay.

So I'd like to thank everybody for tuning in.

I'd love to thank our wonderful sponsors over there,

PCU Radio, Big Ted, Mr. KDK.

We've got a great lineup over at PCU.

Thanks so much for joining us.

Letting us come on in here and take a look at your earphones.

Everybody in our chat would like to say hello.

Thank you for showing up.

Hope you enjoyed the show.

Thank the hardest working man in internet radio.

Missing in action at the moment.

Mr. Lonesome Loser.

We hope he comes back.

Hope your job works out and look forward to seeing you soon.

Big old Jen Starr.

Jenstarr.com.

Where the heck are you?

Oh, that's right.

He's got a job.

He's really working.

All these people are getting all legitimate now.

you get a chance all legitimate now these people they think they are so man they must be moving

out of pirate radio and working what the hell wrong young one still stuck in his basement

smoking all the dope yeah thank you dr lego and all our friends over there at lego land

for tuning in and giving us the good laugh we sure do love y'all yeah most of all out there

you the listeners we love y'all thank you we do this all for you we pay every week

And give you the most exciting, outrageous, interactive entertainment in prank radio and internet radio.

But without our fearless leader, the Generalissimo of the Madhouse, we couldn't do it without you.

God loves Carlito.

All hail and raise your signs to Carlito.

We love you, man.

Thank you so much, bro.

Yeah.

Give us this little soapbox we call the Madhouse.

Yeah, damn, man.

You feel the spirit of the night, didn't you?

Woo-wee.

All right, man.

All right.

Everybody, be sure to go to PCURadio.com.

PCURadio.com.

Prankhole Underground Radio.

Thank you, Ted, KDK, all y'all.

Everybody else who listened tonight, thank you very much.

We loved it.

We had a good time.

We will catch you here, of course, next week at 11 p.m. next week.

Again, sorry.

One day I'll be able to start attending again, I promise you.

5.com it is, and we're out of here.

Peace out.

Have a good weekend, folks.

Calls (11, 30 min of 1 h 39 min)

Transcript

Comments 0