2007-06-14 Show

And who plays What Happens in America?

Well, we steamed your ass in World War II.

What do you have to...

I never did, and who helped you out just now?

You piss off, woman.

Don't talk to me like that.

We don't need you anyway, bitch.

Son, fuck you.

Call me a stinky, stinky fucker.

You are listening to the Madhouse Radio Podcast.

Madhouse Radio is out.

Okay, yeah, you put it on the other way now.

That's why I had to call me here.

Yeah, okay, good.

Hey, everybody, show is start now.

Show is start now.

Yeah.

Is your clapping coming in all digitized?

Yeah, it's digitized.

On yours?

Watch this.

I'll fix that.

Let's try that again.

Nope, digitized.

I don't hear any digitization.

I don't know.

I think you broke the microphone or the headset.

Something happened.

Don't worry about it, Will.

It's okay.

You can imagine.

You know what people sound like when they clap.

You've heard the show before.

All right, everybody, we're here.

We're going to do a show tonight.

Yeah, I'm excited.

We've got to get that one.

Which one?

Oh, that is.

Dude, dude, dude.

Like a retard saying that?

Minor Mencia.

That guy.

I banned Mencia.

Oh.

He was a jerk to me in the real radio studio.

I said, you know what?

Fuck you, Carlos Mencia.

He's banned.

He is banned.

All right, man.

We're here to-

The war of Carloses.

The Carloses do not get along.

Carlize don't mix.

Carlize.

All right, everybody.

We're here.

Madhouse Radio starting late due to technical issues, but we're here.

Damn it.

It is me, Carlito.

Will's here.

And, of course, Milkman is here.

Yay!

Milkman!

What's up, what's up?

This is Christ.

Hi, everybody.

We're going to have a good show.

Yeah, Milkman filling his spirit.

Milkman, what are you wearing tonight, man?

I'm wearing my red peonies.

Okay.

They weren't red when you put them on this morning, but now they are.

No, they weren't.

But it's bikini wear, so I'm ready to swim.

I'm going to swim right over to the studio right now.

Yeah, I can't wait for that.

We're going to send him out for some chicken.

Yeah, go get some fried chicken for us, man.

Yeah, man.

Oh, hell yeah, man.

I will bring a big old box of yum-yums.

Man, this shit is great, man.

I'm telling you, if you like fried chicken, it's good, man.

Deep fried, crispy.

It's got lemon pepper on it and a real light, thin cut.

Oh, man.

Lemon pepper.

I've never heard of lemon pepper on chicken before.

That is a crazy idea.

It must be out of your mind.

Dude, you cannot believe how good it is.

It is a secret, but it's very good.

Now you've got it.

Italian dressing powder.

Powder?

Yeah, you know, when you make your own.

Oh, the package, the package.

Yeah, put that in your batter with the fried chicken.

That sounds like a good idea.

That's good.

Or you can just marinate your chicken or your breast overnight in just regular Italian dressing.

And just do a breast up like that without any coating on it.

And it just changes the tasting completely.

Wonderful.

I'll be coating and marinating Athena's breast tonight, actually.

All right.

Yeah, all right.

Yeah.

You need some detailed photography.

Excellent.

Sexual topics, everybody.

Sexual topics here at Madhouse Radio.

We're excited about doing a show.

If it's not food, it's sex.

Oh, yeah, that's not connected.

I'm sorry, dude.

I apologize.

And if it's not sex, it's bullshit.

Yeah.

I got tons of AAAs at home.

No, it's not that.

Excuse me.

It's the toggle is missing.

the usb toggle clone you on that one yes thank you that was actually very good very good clone

we should get a replay on that but i'm too lazy to do that right now there we go there's your

replay all right folks we're gonna do a show milkman what's the story right now we got a

conference going on tonight about anti-abortionists or something like that yeah man a religious

knucklehead conference and minu has spearheaded it and done some early work for us we're looking

at teasing a bunch of wackos

and getting them all pissed off.

And we're open to suggestions.

And we're going to bother everybody

over at that conference.

Let them know the Madhouse cares.

There's an anti-abortionist conference.

Can someone post a link to that

in the chat room, at least,

so everybody knows what we're talking about here?

I'm anti-pro-life.

Please post a link.

How are you anti-pro-life?

What would that be?

You're just like, whatever.

I hope they die.

But?

That's it.

You hope they die in childbirth?

or just that?

Yes.

Die childbirth, babies.

All right.

Well, that's Will's opinion.

He's for, not for abortion,

but hopefully they die, you know, on the way out.

What is that when babies are born with blue heads?

You know how that happens?

You know, what is that called?

My question is if it's born with no oxygen.

Yeah.

It's called smurfy-wurfy.

You know what I'm saying?

You got no life there.

There's not an abortion, so that's your way out.

There's nothing wrong with that.

Suffocated on the way of birth.

Right there.

Sounds like someone lucked out, you know, on child support payments is what it sounds like.

Anyway, let's talk about some new stuff real quick.

Anyway, goddammit, Jonathan keeps calling in.

Jonathan, don't call in now.

I had to shut the toll-free line off.

Jonathan, we don't take calls this early.

You know that, man.

Jonathan Jones, toll-free number.

Already blowing up our spot.

I suspend that.

Jonathan, you can call in.

Calm your ass down, Jonathan.

Calm your ass down.

Jonathan, calm your ass down.

All right.

just here real quick let's shoot them all down madhouse aol instant messenger users madhouse

radio aol instant messenger users madhouse radio yahoo messenger is madhouse radio online

and msn messenger is madhouse live at hotmail.com and the toll-free line is not open yet jonathan

but it's 888-278-8509 or just ask jonathan he'll give you the number the most important thing is

to go to madhouselive.com

madhouselive.com

and that's where you can get all that information right there.

TalkShoe. TalkShoe.com

That's right. The automatic podcast there.

That's right. I was going to say, we are

broadcasting live now on TalkShoe.com

of course. TalkShoe.com

It looks like I was the only one there.

Will's the only person there. Alright, TalkShoe.

Woo! TalkShoe.com

I'm not even recording here. Let's record it now.

So Will can get this recorded

here. I'll make my

$5 for the week.

they're still sending you checks

I think I got one left

this will be my last

then fuck talk show

I'm not going to do a show anymore

they're not paying me

unless I get 100 listeners

I think they don't

let me turn this music down here real quick

alright and also of course

we're on prank call underground radio

PCU radio dot com

that's the one milkman

very good

and if anybody wants to relay the stream

you're more than welcome to

sure yeah

everywhere

broadcasted in the Philippines

contact us first

well let us know

so we can give you

We would like to give you props

First but yeah let us know

And of course we're on none other than

Technical difficulties kept us offline

On it but the new

Mouthstream 98.6 the mouth

98.6

98.6 the mouth

And if you type that in on Google

We're the first ones to show up

98.6 the mouth

You type in 98.6 the mouth

We're the very first site that comes up

Hell yeah man

Man, eliminating the other mouths out there is Madhouse Radio.

I was trying to plan something, like tell them some people were going to call and say,

I want to set up a meeting with you, you know, at 7 o'clock, you know, California time or something like that.

Mess with them, make it look legit, but then it shows Madhouse Live is the first radio show.

Really?

Yeah, they go to look it up, like, what's this radio station?

Nope.

Sorry, sorry.

Well, I'm going to make a fake 98.6amout.com website to get people.

Yeah, because I'll tell them prank calls.

Yeah, we're at 98.6themouth.com.

You know, you can get a subdomain from your website hosting

and then buy just the domain for 98.6themouth

and then redirect it to your subdomain.

Well, I can't give out the plan because someone else will do it.

Let me be quiet about it.

But I'm going to do it next week.

I'm getting the domain, and there will really be a 98.6themouth.com.

Okay, Milkman.

So there is sad news.

is next week there will not be a live show because

I'm going to actually, it's going to be number one

my birthday. Yay.

All right. It's going to be a

wank bet. Yeah.

Will's going to be here with me. We're going to

wank it. What's your birthday, Will? Right hand

man or left hand man? January 23rd.

I use both hands. February. 1, 2, 3.

Oh, okay. 12, 3 or

1, January 23rd?

Okay. I prefer help.

I don't have any. And Milkman's

birthday is in May. When's your birthday,

day man in like november or something like that milkman uh my birthday is think about it actually

june 29th oh milkman when is our one year anniversary that's july what the seventh

when's our anniversary year our two-year anniversary that's what i said when's our

anniversary coming up it's like aren't we almost on our third year no we're gonna be hitting the

second year anniversary in july i don't know what day we need to do a special show that's

Well, after July, then we're in our third year, Clown.

That's what I'm getting at.

Well, yeah, but it's the second anniversary.

We've got to do a special show.

Yeah, I'm going to actually go through the archives.

We'll be in our third year.

Exactly.

We're going to do a best of.

A big celebration.

We're going to do a live best of.

We'll do pranks, but we're actually going to do it.

Oh, with a best of.

Let's just go crazy and cut clips.

We're going to play clips, and we'll do some live stuff.

We're going to have a good time with that show.

We'll invite all our friends to come back.

We'll have Big Andy call in, because he actually was in the second season a little bit.

We'll have, maybe I'll let KDK call in at night.

Oh, cool.

Get him in on his CB and have him check in on Channel 19.

It'd be great to hear him.

Isn't Channel 19 the police channel?

850.

850?

Oh, man, that's the big trucker's channel.

Oh, okay.

Breaker Breaker 1-9.

Yeah, that's what you said.

What state is that in?

Meet me up at the pickle bar.

I think it's it.

I know on I-4 they use Breaker Breaker 1-9.

That's all I remember.

My dad bought, like, this CB radio, and we go and harass people.

Channel 9 is the emergency channel.

That's for the police.

Which one is it?

Channel 9.

Channel 9, okay.

Yeah, my dad said, never talk on Channel 9, you bastard, like that.

He said, don't ever pick up the CB and talk on Channel 9, you bastard.

They will trace you.

Could they trace you?

They can't trace you on a CB radio.

No.

It's almost impossible, dude.

You have to track it down with power levels.

It can be done, but it's very hard.

You have to have the FCC involved and all that shit.

All right, cool.

Nah, nah, nah.

It can be done just by other radio operators, but I'm telling you, with a mobile, it would be very hard.

I just got eight Aussie Fest tickets.

Aussie Fest, they still do that?

It's free this year.

Oh, that's crap.

That's like SeaWorld.

You get there for free if you want.

Man, I know Dollar Palooza is going to be playing this in August.

In Chicago, isn't it, this year?

For what's going on?

I think it's going to be in Chicago.

Right, exactly, in Chicago.

They're going to have this interactive thing to, like, you register your phone and get SMS messages

and go around and find these different prizes and blah, blah, blah.

I don't know, some kind of weird shit.

That sounds like a waste of time and money, but all right.

If you want to spend $500 to stand in the oppressive heat in August in Chicago and get

Hey, I got to go see it back in 96, back when it was still pretty cool and I was really

fucked up.

That's how you do it, man.

Yeah, Milkman.

I need to borrow Jonathan's bus, though.

Milkman doing roofies.

We got to get the party bus, man.

That's what we got to do.

Party bus.

The one year anniversary, we should get some satellite internet and do the show on the

the bus, on Jonathan's bus, and we'll drive around Florida doing the show live.

Hell yeah, man.

Yeah.

We don't have to do sidelines.

Send me some meskies.

What do we do?

And let's get crazy.

3G?

The 3G cell phone shit?

I don't know.

Or maybe we'll have the Madhouse Mobile Mercedes, like what we're talking about.

Anyway, so hey.

Dude, let me go around the island, man.

And I'll go around putting people on the show, man.

And I'll tune in to talk shows, man, and listen to it.

You're going to get shot.

That's what's going to happen.

Excuse me.

I know, man.

All right.

So check it out.

Let's move on here.

Do we have numbers to prank call?

I mean, are we even doing prank calls tonight?

What's the story?

I'm going to work on it.

Nunu is sending information right now.

Are you receiving any of this?

Yes, I'm getting Nunu's info.

Nunu, hang tight.

We'll call those soon.

I know you have to go to sleep soon because it's like 9 o'clock in the morning in the U.K. or something.

Well, and part of the deal is they just got done with a program.

So a lot of these idiots will probably go back to their rooms.

So now would be a time to, like, start, you know, prompting and finding out anybody that would welcome the kindness of the Mouth House.

Yeah, now would be the time.

All right, let's do some news items here real quick while we get our numbers on straight up.

Madhouse Radio News, madhouselivenews.com.

It's about fucking time, Jim.

Yeah, Big Jim is on the end.

I thought you said Jim.

No, not him or her.

All right, so we got a news story that Milkman sent in.

I thought this was the funniest one I saw in the last five days.

a train

oh my god

a train defecator

look at this guy's name

announcing

his name is

yeah let's

let's do the announcing

alright

this guy's name is

thank you

is Bonnie

Bonnie

B-O-N-N-E

Eberendu

and he was

defecating on trains

get this

Will

this guy kind of looks

kind of looks like

Will

I'm kidding

to purge himself

oh my god

oh Will's actually

a handsome guy

he was shitting him

he was shitting on the

on the train in order to purge

himself of inner voices urging him

to stab women and children.

And this was in England. He actually

stabbed a 36

year old man who smeared his

own excrement inside train

carriages and he's now

detained indefinitely in a secure

mind you, secure mental hospital.

Not an insecure one.

He was pooping on

the train. I'm gonna kill you!

Oh, wait, wait, wait.

I don't feel like

Killing women now, yeah.

So that sounds like the old fake defense there, if you ask me.

I don't think shitting is going to make me not want to kill somebody.

If so, maybe OJ was just constipated.

Maybe that explains it all right there.

What's more interesting than finger paint?

Poopy paint.

That's right.

Stinky fingers and poopy paint.

And I have sad news.

Will, do you remember Mr. Wizard?

Yes.

Oh, I used to love that show.

Well, I got bad news for you, my friend.

Did he die?

Mr. Wizard has died.

Mr. Wizard, 89 years old, died yesterday.

Don Herbert.

That was his name, Don Herbert.

What a stupid name, Don Herbert.

And he was doing this since the 50s, man.

You know, he started doing the Mr. Wizard show in 1951.

Oh, man, I can remember seeing black and white episodes before.

I didn't know.

I just thought he was on Nickelodeon in the 80s, but apparently he wasn't, you know?

Oh, dude.

Dude, he was, like, in the 60s and 70s, because, like, I can remember that shit.

Wow.

That was, like, you know, that was a big time then, man.

I was, like, in my 50s then.

Yeah, well, you know, I was around when Nickelodeon first got hot, and that's what happened.

So, yeah, he died, it looks like, either two days ago or yesterday.

I don't know.

I also wanted to let everybody know, we talked about this last week.

Tomorrow, be sure to set your VCR, your DVR, or just be sure to be around for the last episode of The Price is Right with none other than Bob Barker.

That will be on tomorrow.

Show your support.

Bob the Pimp Barker.

He is the man.

The biggest pimp out there.

Like I said last week, there are people on.

That is the Mac Pimp Daddy of all time.

You've got Mr. Rogers, number one, Cobra Commander, number two,

and then Bob Barker was number three when we were growing up.

That's how it was, man.

So there you go.

I'm doing some pre-calls over here.

Good deal.

I'm down.

All right.

Well, Will's confirming some calls, and that's it.

I wanted to mention here, I saw a story that there's this.

Have you ever tried cheese heroin before, man?

What the hell are you talking about?

Cheese heroin?

Police have confiscated cheese heroin.

Apparently in Dallas, 21 teenagers have died in the last two years doing cheese heroin,

which is a blend of Mexican tar heroin and over-the-counter medications,

including antihistamine, diffenfantihemamine.

Basically, they're grinding up Tylenol PM and Mexican black tar heroin,

and they're dying doing it.

And they're adding it to Swiss Amish cheese.

And it smells bad.

Why would you want to do that?

I don't know, but there you go, folks.

Kids, don't do cheese heroin.

Just do regular heroin.

Leave the cheese heroin.

Now you know why they call him Cheese Boy.

That's why, because he sells cheese heroin.

That's it.

And we're going to play a quick bit here.

I thought this was hilarious, everybody.

This will be about two minutes.

Oh, wait a minute.

Before we get away from the cheese heroin story,

do you realize that there is a Madhouse birthday coming up?

No.

Carlito's birthday.

Next Saturday is Jonathan's birthday.

No kidding.

Well, that's good.

This one here is going to go out to Jonathan.

And we're going to start doing some prank calls in a moment.

We're going to call that conference here.

Jonathan's going to be a big 59.

59.

Good for him, man.

What's up with all the old people on this show?

I don't know.

Milkman.

Dude, I'm only 87.

You sound 87.

That guy likes to lie.

He likes to pretend like he's older.

He's older, but he's only 77.

Yeah, he's got a lot of excuses that guy.

Watch that old codger.

Young whippersnapper.

All right, Milkman, listen to this.

Everybody listen to this here.

This is about two and a half minutes long.

I hope you enjoy this.

Any second now.

Here we go.

Thanks for calling Autoerotica.

Number one in automated phone sex.

Please say the name of the person you'd like to speak with.

Brandy.

I think you said Brandy.

If this is correct, press one.

Hi, this is Brandy.

Please state your name.

Murray.

Hello, Murray.

What are you wearing?

Jeans and a t-shirt.

I think you said jeans and a t-shirt.

Is that right?

Yes.

That's hot.

What would you like me to do to you?

Why don't you go down on me?

I think you said go down on you.

Is that right?

Yeah.

I'm going down on you.

Oh, oh, oh, wow.

You are really stiff.

Does it feel good to you?

Yes.

Suck it.

I'm sorry I didn't get that.

Does it feel good to you?

Yes.

Stroke it.

I'm stroking it.

Holy cow.

You are really hard.

Would you mind if my friend joins in?

No, not at all.

Great.

Press 1 for Crystal.

Press 2 for Yolanda.

Press 3 for Jamie.

Hey, I'm Jamie.

Thanks for letting me in on the fun.

What do you want me to do to you?

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

No, Jamie.

Put Brandy back on the line.

Get rid of Jamie.

I'm pretty sure you said get rid of Brandy.

No.

Goodbye.

What do you want me to do to you?

End this call.

I'm pretty sure you said play with my balls.

What?

I'm playing with your balls.

Oh, God.

This is pissing me off.

I'm pretty sure you said, fist me while whacking off.

Is that right?

No.

I'm fisting you.

Oh.

And I'm whacking off.

Oh, God, come on.

Just put Brandy back on the line.

I'm pretty sure you said, put Randy on the line.

Hi, this is Randy.

Hi, Randy.

Hi, Jamie.

Where should I penetrate Marie?

Oh, this is ridiculous.

I'm pretty sure you said pearl necklace.

Is that right?

What are you talking about?

I don't even know what that is.

A text message has just been sent to Marie's cell phone.

Ah, that's it.

I'm done.

This is Randy.

And Jamie.

Would you like us to finish on your chest?

No.

Hells yeah.

Hot damn.

We just finished on your chest.

Oh, God.

Pearl necklace complete.

I like that.

Pearl necklace complete.

I hope you all enjoyed that.

Oh, that was nice.

That's from the website StuckyandMary.com.

I thought that delved into our genre of prank call comedy stuff.

So there you go.

Enjoy that.

Hope you enjoyed that.

I think he was calling the Saigon number.

I think so.

I think that was Saigon's phone line right there.

His personal phone line that he was telling.

It was.

It was, no.

And then Mike Honey.

I'm sure you said, let Mike Honey stick his fist in my backside.

side yeah you know no one knows what you're talking about but hey whatever you say bro

whatever you say that's all right i know you guys you know it keeps you wondering doesn't it

inside inside stuff inside stuff you'll understand one day um i need another beer well where did you

put the beer away oh yeah you got it right there hook me up with a beer real quick if you don't

mind thank you all right so um we got numbers ready here let me go in the chat room and find

find out well bring me a new castles please i like a new castle yeah we'll throw it right at

you there don't worry all right let me uh we got sam you're a man we only got miller light here

dude i know i know i wish you had sam adams i should have bought some better than that i could

always a good choice always always a good choice sam adams okay uh where is the chat room here

here we go i got so much crap open there we go okay oh damn hey lonesome losers back hey red

at Don84. Is that Lonesome Loser? Yes.

All right. We're Lonesome Losers back in the house.

All right. Lonesome Loser.

All right, man. What's up, brother?

Good. Okay. Good, man. We got

Lonesome Loser in the house, too. We got

Nunu in the house sending in the information. We got the

different names of all the conventioners

here. I'm going to pull it up here in a moment.

I'm going to click yes. We need to call them because they're

going to be going to bed. They're church people.

They may already be in bed

saying their prayers. They're in Kansas

City. What is the

time zone in Kansas City? Are they an hour

or ahead or two hours ahead of us?

Do you know? Any idea?

They're two hours behind.

Two hours behind us. That's what I meant to say.

Okay, so it is now 9.54.

Yeah, we better hurry up and call these

bastards. So they're in Kansas City

and they're at the Bringing Life to the Heart of America

bringing, I don't know, a bunch of

crap. They're in the Hyatt Regency

here apparently and wow, the damn thing

is sold out. This is high dollar.

Wow. Who's the keynote speaker? Anyone

special? Anyone I know? You know, Billy Graham's

wife died today. And there's 40 floors

of these religious

cats.

Well, good.

Well, it's about time

we hit them up.

All right, so let me

get some musicians.

People who spoke

today, Wesley Smith,

Wanda Franz.

Oh, Wanda.

Yeah, good people.

Marvel Phil Klein.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, I don't know.

Reverend Dan Day.

I have no idea who

these people are, man,

but I'm sure they're

hilarious to talk to.

So who do you suggest?

Who gives a fuck?

Let's just call them.

Who do you suggest

I talk to first?

Any suggestions here

or just pretty much

at random?

Well, let's see how

you want to open up.

If we want to get

Let's get down to some meat and let's call the reverend.

The reverend, okay.

Reverend Dennis Day.

And you could maybe turn in as like a Catholic guy.

Okay.

Maybe like your Father O'Malley.

Father McCorders will call in.

All right, so we're going to call the Reverend Dennis Day.

Father McCorders.

Okay, Nunu says they should be returning to the rooms right now.

So this is probably a good time.

And we get the different people.

All right, so we'll call the hotel first.

And this is what we usually do for these conferences.

They're already in their pajamas.

Thomas.

Well, it's time to wake them up.

Bastards.

All right.

Well, let's do this.

It's time to...

Oh, wait a minute.

We got a confirmation.

They're only one hour behind us.

Oh, hell.

Oh, man.

It's almost 11.

It's almost bedtime.

They're doing their prayers now.

So let's get that on.

All right, everybody.

They're banging their heads.

We're right back in a moment with the first prank of the night, folks.

Oh.

Hey, Ray.

Can you pass over this stuff?

Hello, my son.

May you transfer me over to someone, please?

Pretty good.

I need to speak with Mr. Dennis, please.

Yes, Mr. Day, Dennis Day.

Thank you.

Where's that beer, Will?

The Hyatt Regency desk you have called is unavailable.

You may leave a private recorded desk at the tone,

or press zero, and the Hyatt Regency operator will assist you.

I start your message now.

Well, I am hitting zero, you fuck.

Hang on.

Let's read down.

We're going to call someone else instead.

Hang on, everybody.

Dude, you didn't say that in the recording, did you?

Uh.

Oh, God, I was not.

No, no.

Oh, Lord in heaven of all the prying spirits.

I didn't do that.

That was great.

This cardinal did not let the kitty out of the bag.

Dr. Angela Lamfanshi, a breast surgeon and co-founder of Breast Cancer, does need a call.

And I need to follow her breast.

I mean, check for lumps.

All right.

I'm calling one of her friends now.

She's a PhD.

Oh, boy.

Any second now, they'll answer.

All right.

I'm going to give him three more rings.

That counts as one.

Plus one.

I'll call him back later.

Hang on.

All right.

All right, so instead, I'm going to have to call one of our Lonesome Losers number here

while we let that stew a little bit because they are not answering at the front desk yet.

So we're going to call.

Let's see what Lonesome Loser sent in here yet.

Let's find out here.

All right, Lonesome Loser.

All right, we've got Al Capone's Hideaway and Steakhouse.

Wow.

Noah's Ark.

All right.

Donkey Inn.

Let's call the Donkey Inn.

This is in Palatine, Illinois.

Donkey Inn.

Donkey Heck Inn.

donkey in i really want to eat in the donkey in hang on oh boy that's all i need in is a donkey

dick holy shit i would just retire right now donkey show

hello donkey in yes what's going on what's your relation to donkeys well shit well that's just

wrong fucking god all right i'm direct to the kill man i'm telling you she's like i do i that's

That's a good question. What's your relation to donkeys? Why, you know? It's a legitimate question.

Yeah, but if you just open up with the most obvious.

I did not open. What are you?

These people need to be stroked.

Please enter your destination.

All right.

You need to backtrack.

Yeah, like you would know. All right, we're going to call Mr. Miyagi's Steak and Lobster.

Good evening, Mr. Miyagi's Steak and Lobster. This is Chrissy. How may I help you?

Hey, sir. How you doing?

Hello?

Hello, sir. How are you?

Sir?

Yes, sir.

No, this is ma'am.

You said your name is Chris.

Yeah, Chrissy.

That's a man's name.

No.

That's a man.

You got a man's name.

He is not a man's name.

You have a penis, don't you?

I what?

You have, no, I'm not going to say it because you'll hang up on me.

Is Mr. Miyagi there?

He is not.

May I take a message?

Well, I have a few questions about waxing on, waxing off, and all that kind of stuff.

What?

Waxing on, waxing off.

Is there a man I can talk to?

I really don't like talking to women.

Sure, hang on.

All right.

Boy, she's not happy about that.

Panties in the bus, huh?

Yeah, hang on.

Let me tuck my peter back between my legs and take it to my leg.

Milkman, be quiet.

Hey, how you doing, sir?

Just fine.

What's that guy's problem?

I don't know.

What's up?

I don't know.

He's like, I'm not a man, I'm not a man, I'm a woman.

Come on, his name's Chris.

Okay, what can I do for you?

Oh, I was wanting to talk to Mr. Miyagi.

He's not in right now.

Can I take a message?

Is there really a Mr. Miyagi who works there?

No, he's not.

His name is Mr. Young.

No, why does he say Mr. Miyagi?

You call him Mr. Miyagi?

Is he Japanese?

Oriental.

Oriental?

That's kind of a racist term, you know.

You're supposed to say Asian.

You're supposed to say Asian, sir.

Asian.

You know what Oriental really means?

This

is going to be the worst show of the year.

We had one of the best shows last week.

You know why?

Because Will wasn't here.

Oh, fuck you.

Yeah.

All right.

So what do we do next, then?

We got to...

Please enter your destination number now.

All right.

Let's call back to the hotel.

All right.

We'll try the hotel again.

Hello.

Well, then you're fat.

They don't even want to talk now.

They're straight up just ignoring me now.

They picked up the phone.

I heard talking in the background, and that's it.

I don't think they're going to play a new new man.

I'm trying.

I'm going to give them a little bit longer.

We'll call someone else instead.

I don't know, Will.

I don't know.

What do you got over there?

We got Madam Cleo's Massage Parlor and Escort Service in Canada.

Wow.

And you got two people named Penis.

Compton, California and Glendale, California.

I'm like, Compton.

Wow.

Helen Penister.

I guess that's Penister.

Helen Penister in Compton, California.

All right.

All right, all right, all right.

We got the Ding-a-ling Supper Club.

Let me give them a call here real quick.

The Ding-a-ling Supper Club.

Hang on, folks.

You eat peanuts?

This is the Ding-a-ling.

Yeah.

My ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling.

I want you to play with my ding-a-ling.

Okay, what's up?

You gonna play with the ding-a-ling?

You can ring my bell.

Listen, what's up?

Ring my bell, I said.

I want you to ring my bell, sir.

Sorry.

Can you say ding-a-ling again?

Aw, man, I'm gonna call him back. Hang on.

Enter your destination number now.

Ding-a-ling.

I don't know when they let black people start wearing suits.

I don't know how you can figure out how to dial a phone.

I, I...

What is your problem here?

It's called speed dials.

Do you have something you wanna tell me?

Ding-a-ling. I say I want you to say ding-a-ling.

Why should I do that? I said it once already.

Cause it's kinda hot.

Can you say penis?

Where you at?

Uh, I can't tell you that. I'm not authorized to tell you that shit.

Fuck you!

Hey, you don't wanna mess with me, sir. You hear that?

Police sirens. I'm from the ghetto.

Ooh, you're making me hot.

I think he's gone.

He said the F word to me.

Will, what should I do about that?

Please enter your destination number now.

I'm going to do that right now.

That right there should turn you on.

Wanking.

Hey, I figured out how to dial the phone again.

Well, that's really nice.

Isn't that amazing?

Is there something you want to say to me or what?

Ding-a-ling.

Well, that's kind of nice.

You ding-a-ling.

Hey, who writes your checks over there?

Who cares?

I do.

I'm asking, right?

Stupid.

I can't believe you know how to pick up the phone.

I think they're listening to us in the background.

You heard them?

Yeah.

Hey, I can hit buttons too.

See?

You're so stupid you can't dial the phone.

Who's stupid now?

Huh?

You dumb horse's ass.

Who are you?

Ding-a-ling.

Who are you?

This is Ding-a-ling Restaurant.

How can I help you?

Let's see if he picks back up.

Hang on.

This is Richard.

I think he's gone.

I'm going to call him back.

Hang on.

Who are you?

I only gave myself a partial

applause on that one, Milkman

that was okay

we don't have any breakthrough

prank calls tonight, Will, what's going on, man

we got okay calls

okay prank calls, you know

okay prank calls, what's this just say what's up doc

is that the name of the play?

man, when we start this early rating thing

man, it becomes like stage fright

you just go on, you let it happen

laugh, fuck it

I think it's the lack of THC

that's sad i can't function without that ah yeah well you know what the hell is any darn good then

man your connections down there shit my damn i'm gonna go i'm not all right no i'm just trying to

slow down and uh yeah and stuff like that i got family coming in out of town i wanted to you know

not have that around all the bringing good shit so you don't want to get burned out

okay milkman is really creeping me out tonight man he's really being weird

so we called the donkey in

we've called the Mr. Miyagi Steak and Lobster

we've called Ding-a-ling, we've got Goofies

Goofies? Nah, I don't know about Goofies

let me call one of Will's

excuse me, one of Will's

numbers here

we're going to call Helen Penister

or Penister

did she answer? She did answer?

do you think it's Penister or Penister?

it's going to be Penister, right?

Penis 10

oh, that's the other one, man

Man, there's two.

Penis 10.

You're 10 inches or what?

Penis 10.

Damn, man.

That's us.

J.J. Penis.

J.J. Penis 10 here.

Look at my damn penis.

All right.

We'll call J.J. Penis 10 next, everybody.

And then we'll call Helen Penister.

One of these has to work.

Here it is.

Good evening.

Hey, good evening.

Hey, is Mr. Penis 10 there?

Yeah.

Can I speak to him or is this him?

What?

Is this Mr. Peniston?

Yeah.

This is Mr. Peniston.

I said yes.

You're a mister?

Well, I'm not a kid.

Okay, so explain to me why you have such a high-pitched voice.

I beg your pardon?

Why do you have such a high-pitched voice for a ma'am, a man?

I don't.

You don't?

I don't.

This is your normal voice?

Well, I was born with it.

Oh, my goodness.

And you're, like, 20-something?

What is all this about?

Oh, I like the name Peniston.

I like the name Peniston.

Oh, good night.

Where does that come from?

Is that Polish?

I just don't have the juice tonight, man.

Just don't have the juice tonight, man.

Please enter your destination number now.

I'll do that.

Hang on.

Here comes Mr. Penister.

You know, I think I agree with...

Well, we need some new music on the show.

Hello?

Hi, what's up, Mr. Penister?

Oh.

Hello?

Oh.

Mr. Penister?

Yeah?

Oh.

Mr. Penister.

Hello?

Is there a Mr. Penister in your life?

Hello?

Penister.

Helen.

Hellie.

Hell.

Hey.

Please enter your destination number now.

Hey, you have a disgusting name, Helen.

And you should be ashamed of yourself.

Ma'am, can't you tell I'm trying to agitate you into a humorous conversation over the phone?

Hello?

Did I use too many syllables for you?

And why is a white woman living in Compton?

Please enter the destination number.

Okay, tough crowd tonight, man.

Hey, Jonathan's going to bed at 4 o'clock.

It was his turn.

And everyone should call in before it gets too late.

All right.

Or call 8-0.

Let me open the toll-free line here so Jonathan and anybody else can call in because we're sure.

Open the toll-free line.

We got our hole open.

We're doing a really bad job on our own.

So let us try to see if anybody else can uplift our spirits here and do something with the show here.

All right.

The toll-free line is now open if you want to call us.

Dark Chocolate, 888-278-8509.

Is that a business or a person named Dark Chocolate?

Person.

A person named Dark Chocolate.

All right, man.

That's cool.

Sexual chocolate.

All right.

You or Jonathan can call in now.

The toll-free line, again, where you can join us here live tonight on the air in front of hundreds, yeah, is 888-278-8509.

That reminds me, the newest podcast episode has been created.

It's been edited.

It will be uploaded tonight to the website and will be available on the podcast no later than 8 o'clock a.m.

Eastern Standard Time

tomorrow morning, I assume.

Yeah, yeah.

I assume that's Jonathan, and it is.

Hi, Jonathan.

Hey, man.

Yeah, what's up?

What's going on, Jonathan?

Not much.

Good to talk to you, man.

Good talking to you.

Yeah, what's your cell provider?

Who you got, Singular or the new AT&T?

I got Altel.

Ooh, that's a Jacksonville thing, Altel.

Altel on you.

Yeah, I just use the cell phone service,

and I got Skype, too.

Whoa, Skype.

Big guy.

You got the free Skype?

I mean, not the free,

but, you know,

did you pay for the annual

or whatever?

Skype.

Yeah, I got Skype

unlimited.

Skype, what's that,

20 bucks a year

or something like that?

Yeah.

Yeah?

All right.

Good deal.

Yeah, the show tonight

is kind of, you know,

we're trying, though.

Skype is.

Get it right.

Yeah, that's true.

Yeah, well, you know,

we do what we can.

We do what we can, man.

Any suggestions

that we could do here

to spice things up?

Throw a little few peppers

in the gumbo,

You know what I mean?

You can always call Cheese Boy and do a prank with the cheese heroin.

That's right.

Hey, are you still, you're Can-Can, right?

Yeah, but my internet just shut itself down.

Okay, we've got to talk about this.

You put, let me get this right.

He put timers on his router, right, Jonathan?

Yep.

What's that?

Were you here for this last week, Will?

Yeah, I was listening on my phone.

All right, you've got a phone here.

Okay, so I want to explain this to you, Jonathan.

And let me understand this, you have two routers at your house, right?

Yeah, the main cable modem and the wireless router for our laptops.

Okay, so you only have, okay, you got one router, one modem then, right?

Yeah.

Okay, and you have your router on a timer?

Yeah.

Okay, so what it...

It doesn't have a, you can't turn it on and off manually because it doesn't have a manual switch.

Okay, so what time do you tend to have it, you have it shut off at midnight every night?

It shuts off around 11.30.

Alright, 11.30, it shuts off, and the reason for that is because it gets too hot?

Yeah, and it doesn't work right when it's been on 24-7.

Okay, okay, so you have it, you have like, what do you have, like the old lamp timer that you, you know,

that you can connect to a lamp to make things shut off when you're on vacation, that kind of thing?

Yeah, it's one of those heavy-duty timers.

Got a clapper, clap on.

You should get a clapper, man.

Yeah, you can just clap on, clap on.

Oh, yeah, that would suck, though, because you hear our show and we start playing applause and start going in and out.

Jonathan, I'm concerned.

Honestly, that's the first time I've heard of anybody having that problem with their router that they had to put a timer on it.

That was my dad's idea.

It's your dad's idea?

Yeah, he's a cheese boy.

He's another cheese boy.

I have a fan on mine.

That's what I do.

How old is that router?

It's about a year old.

Oh, man, that's like brand new.

Is it a Lynx-y's?

Yeah, the main one is, I can't remember.

Put a fan on it, Jonathan.

You've got to put a fan on it is what Milkman is saying.

Get a nice fan, a $10 fan at the dollar store.

Or you get yourself $10, $1 fans at the dollar store.

And you put them all around the router.

And then you have those come on every hour on the timer.

And you're in it all the time.

You can listen to Madhouse.

Hey, wait a minute.

Why don't you get on TalkShoot, man?

Right, Will?

Yeah.

You can listen to the show.

Definitely.

You can listen to the show on your phone, man.

I can.

Yeah.

TalkShoot.com, man.

Yeah, you can listen to our show now live on your cell phone.

And it's in real time.

And it's free.

It's actually faster than the streams are.

You actually hear it a lot quicker.

Yeah, I got to get the Internet and put it on my cell phone.

No, it's free.

No, not Internet.

No.

You call them.

You call a number.

We're not toll free.

It's like a chat room almost.

Yeah.

It's one way.

Well, it's two ways.

Yeah, it's like a conference call.

Yeah, but we broadcast the show on the conference call.

Can y'all give me that number?

No, no, you have to register on TalkShoe.com.

You know what?

You go to MadHouseLive.com.

That's right.

And then you'll see a link there that says TalkShoe.

You click on the link, and I put all the instructions up there on how you do it.

Okay.

Yeah, do it, man, because, hell, we're trying to get some money.

You know, if you're going on there, it helps us out.

It keeps us in business.

You know what I mean?

Oh, yeah.

You want to stay in the line while I call Cheese Boy?

Yeah.

All right, hang on.

You hung on.

We're going to do a prank call with Jonathan.

I know you can't say anything.

thing explain to everybody who real quick what is this cheese boy thing now he's like uh he's

a guy who works with you and he's a real jerk right yeah he this is a little silly but he likes

to play with cheese too oh he's like he likes playing with cheese now yeah how does he make

like little cheese car and he goes stuff like that or is it funny to explain but yeah it's

Something like that.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, I'm bottling my cheese now.

He's the guy that fixes your buses?

Yeah, he's the general shop for me.

He's in charge of the whole shop.

Oh, okay.

He's in charge of the whole shop.

God.

That's a job right there, huh?

Just working for the county.

Uh-huh.

Fixing school buses all day.

All right, man.

Do you have a cell number?

I got the number.

You sent it to me last week.

I still have it here in front of me.

So I'm going to actually call that now, all right?

All right.

All right, don't go anywhere.

And Jonathan's going to stay in the line.

He's going to behave, right?

You're going to behave?

Yeah, I actually muted the mic while you did the call.

Ah, good, good.

You're a smart guy.

Look at that, see?

All right, hang on, everybody.

Here comes Jonathan.

Hold on, Jonathan.

Here comes Cheese Boy and Carlito in a prank call.

Please check with your phone company on how to temporarily unlock your caller ID.

Please enter your destination number.

Oh, shit, man.

You got to use the, uh...

What?

Oh, the spoof tell.

Spoof tell.

Oh, crap.

I don't know where that is right now.

I got it.

You got an email?

I got an email.

You sound like shit.

Yeah, well, like, you can make the call.

Yeah, you can do the caller ID.

It sounds like shit when you record it, but we don't need to record it.

Jonathan, you're still there, right?

Yeah.

All right, hang on.

He doesn't accept blocked calls, so we're going to act like he's...

You're not online anymore?

You can't send me a number?

No, that wouldn't work.

Never mind.

Hang on, Jonathan.

I'm going to try that again.

Local number.

I'll just use the area code.

It'll work.

Hang on, folks.

Here comes that.

We're going to try that again.

Hey there, Jonathan.

Please enter your password.

My password?

I don't have a password, do I?

Please enter your password.

I don't know.

I dialed the number and it said enter your password.

Please enter your password.

Let me try again.

Nope.

Jonathan, I don't think it's...

Please re-enter your password.

We're at his voicemail is what the problem is.

We're at his voicemail.

Yeah, he's not picking up, Jonathan, man.

Can we do a different call?

Can we do what?

Can we do a different call?

Yeah, sure.

All right, hang on.

Let me call.

Let me see what I got.

Please enter your password.

Okay, hang on.

Let me clear the line.

This is killing me.

Okay, are you there?

Yeah.

All right, we're going to call Buffy the Clown.

You want to talk to him or him or her?

I don't know if it's him or her.

It's a guy.

I'll let you do that, and I'll jump in if y'all need me.

All right, cool.

All right, we're going to call Buffy the Clown.

All right, hang on.

Then just same thing with the cheese herring or do the Fat Albert voice.

The Fat Albert voice?

All right, I'll give you a Fat Albert voice.

No problem.

I'll give you a Fat Albert voice.

We got a number here for a Quiznos owner.

Is that you sending that?

Hello?

Hey, what's going on?

Is this the Clown Buffy?

No.

What do you mean?

She's retired.

It's a she?

How long ago did she retire?

A couple years.

Well, how much money would it take?

Well, she's too old to do it anymore, but she's got a heart problem.

What kind of heart problem?

Hello, sir?

Yeah.

What kind of heart problem?

She just had to have a pacemaker put in.

Oh, Jesus, God, no.

Is Buffy okay?

Yeah, yeah, he's doing okay.

Is she in the hospital still?

No.

Oh, what am I going to do?

Oh, man, when did she die?

How long has it been?

Hello? You were supposed to tell me if something happened to her.

Would have liked to have been at the funeral. What about flowers?

When did this happen?

It's gone.

That call sucked.

Yeah, that did. Hey, thanks, Jonathan. Thanks.

Asshole.

Tell him to fill his tub full of water and that we'll bless the water for him.

We'll bless the water for him.

Oh, man. I wish I had that.

Let me try him again.

Eight hours, three minutes, thirty-two seconds.

Before deduction of applicable fees and charges as listed on the back of your card and poster.

Whoa, someone's fiancé got caught looking at child porn and bestiality.

And we got the number.

Hey, look in your G-Talk.

They sent you the number.

Look in the...

I sent you a link.

Did you get that?

Milkman?

Hello.

Please leave a message after the phone call.

All right, that's the answer machine.

All right, Jonathan.

Oh, well.

It's going down.

Yep.

You want to try one more prank call?

I could try that.

Let me see here.

We're going to call the Munch Mart.

This is Munch Mart number two.

This is in San Antonio, Texas, all right?

Oh, that's a fantastic place to go.

That's right.

He's going to go in.

Dark chocolate.

What's this dark chocolate?

Can you explain?

Do you know dark chocolate, Will?

Yeah.

You don't have to talk about dark chocolate?

Yeah.

This is a radio show.

I'm supposed to talk.

I know.

Yeah.

Yeah, when you call, do the Fat Albert voice.

Jonathan loves the Fat Albert voice, man.

Dark chocolate is one of my friends.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Is he black?

No, it's a girl.

It's a girl?

Yeah.

Wow.

Dark chocolate, huh?

Yeah.

All right.

Yeah.

Okay.

That's all I can say.

That's all we can say.

All right.

We're going to call the munch mart as Fat Alper just for Jonathan, all right?

And then Jonathan, you've got to go because I've got to go to the bathroom.

You got it?

Yeah.

All right, yeah.

All right, hang on.

Here that comes.

What song am I going to play?

Any idea?

Milkman, give me a song.

Hurry up.

Thanks, that monkey.

I don't have that number.

That song.

The Johnny Cash song.

The funky monkey.

The Johnny Cash song you sent me.

All right, you got it, man.

Here we go.

Well, you're so crazy.

All right.

That's not it.

And I ain't seen the sunshine since

I don't know when

I'm stuck in fulsome prison

Now you know why I don't get any different music.

Jonathan!

I got the song I sent you, clown.

You're a close Jonathan.

My God, Will, you know, I think you should get the shampoo and everything, man.

The whole kit.

The whole kit? Oh.

Yeah.

What's wrong with it?

I'm just saying, you can't take a chance.

Somebody called me Goldilocks the other day.

Goldilocks?

I was like, no.

No.

No?

No.

It's more red than golden.

Is this Jonathan, man?

Man.

All right.

Let's say goodbye to Jonathan.

The phone card's at Milkman.

We're going to take a break.

I need the new phone card, if you don't mind, while we're on break.

Hey, look.

Let's call the Pentagon.

Milkman?

Yeah, let's call the Pentagon.

Good idea.

Hey, Jonathan.

Hey, did we get disconnected?

Yeah, but the phone card, you robbed the juice.

Okay.

All right.

We're going to take a break, and we're going to get a new phone card here, and we're going

to come back and do some more calls, man.

All righty.

All right.

Well, thanks for calling in, man.

Good talking to you, brother.

All right.

All right, man.

We'll catch you next week.

Go say hi to your fans and all that jazz real quick.

I was just trying to say hello to all my friends and listeners, and I hope you have a great

weekend.

All right, brother.

Take care.

Peace, boys.

Meet me.

Suey.

You ever see that movie, Walk the Line, Will?

Milkman?

Any of you two seen that yet?

I was trying to watch it, or I remember seeing it, trying to download it, but then I was

like, I don't know.

Nobody's talked about it.

I couldn't get into it.

I tried watching it, and I was like, ooh.

Oh, it's supposed to be some life of this country guy?

Johnny Cash.

Oh.

The guy we're playing with.

Yeah, no, I don't think I could watch it.

Yeah, the guy, what's his face?

The guy, River Phoenix's brother.

What's the guy with the hair look, you know who I'm talking about?

Hair look Phoenix?

Joaquin, Joaquin Phoenix.

He wasn't believable.

Milkman, where the hell are you, man?

Hey, Milkman, is he even here?

Milkman!

Okay, we lost Milkman now.

All right, folks, we're going to have to take a break.

There you go.

Milkman, I need a new phone card, my friend.

And when we come back, we're going to call the cat who owns several Quiznos franchises

and the fiancé was caught looking at pedophilia and bestiality.

We're going to have to call that when we come back, Milkman.

So you got that other phone card you said, right?

Anyway.

Any second.

Yeah, yeah.

You've seen the map.

Did you message it to me already?

No.

Okay, what's this one?

No.

Okay.

We got a guy named Curtis who claims to be a tech support salesperson from Phoenix, Arizona.

Milkman's 82.

Yeah, he's 82.

No way.

Yeah.

No, he was born in 82 or something.

I don't know.

He'd be the same age as I am.

Yeah.

You're born in 82?

He's so old as dirt.

You're younger than me?

1882, maybe.

1882.

Him and his rascal.

Don't get him started on the rascal scooter thing, man.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Please, God, don't.

Don't, don't, don't.

He's got to turn around or run about.

The run about.

Oh, the run around or whatever.

Run around, run around.

The hover around.

Hover around.

There we go.

What's better, Milkman, the hover around or the rascal scooter?

All right, Milkman, you're killing me, man.

I don't know.

Fix that, all right?

We're going to be right back, folks.

We're going to take a break here.

It is now 1243 a.m.

So remember to play that Johnny Cash song that I sent you two weeks ago.

You know what?

Hey, hey, just start.

Or the T-Rex song that I sent you like two months ago.

Man, start sending them to me because I'm going to update his playlist.

I'm going to come in with a jump drive or something like that.

He won't play them.

He just wants to play the shit that he wants to play, and that's it.

I'm going to start taking over production.

song i'm gonna start taking over production because he with the music and the breaks and

what did you two jerks take over the show all right yeah okay you sons of me and milkman

gonna have our own show oh that's gonna be a great show here it's gonna be you two talking

yo what's up this is will yeah my name is milkman all right all right that'll be just as good

as a freaking geek show oh i'm sorry have you played clips from that no what what no no i mean

Like, on the parts where you were there.

I should just play me on the freaking geek show.

Just call it the Carlito Geek Show or something.

I've got them all.

I didn't go last week to this week to the show at all.

I was enough for it.

I was sick that day.

I called in sick and everything.

Man, I'm on my 10th absence.

I'm going to lose my job.

Oh, my God.

What's going to happen, Will?

You're going to lose your job.

Yeah, exactly.

I don't know.

Big deal.

There'll be another one.

Anyway.

You know what you do?

What you do is you take a month break and say, I need to quit and come back a month later.

Really?

Yeah.

You can do that?

What's the name?

Big Meek?

Yeah.

He went to Seattle

and then his boyfriend

broke up with him

and he ended up

with Michael

or something like that.

I'm just kidding.

Just kidding.

And I like the

Freaking Geek Show.

Everybody go to

Freaking Geek.

Yeah.

Milkman,

I need the phone card

and I'm going to

take a break, alright?

You ready for that?

You like the Matt Pools?

Alright, man.

I'm ready for that

Johnny Cash song.

Hell yeah.

It's coming right up.

Johnny Cash, everybody.

Johnny Cash on the break.

The one I sent you, bitch.

The one I sent.

Where's Jim Stewart at anyway?

Chris from the family?

Where's Jen Stewart?

He's nowhere around?

He's sick?

He's out?

He's busy?

No, man.

He's working.

No, he's working, dude.

All right.

That's fine.

All right, man.

We'll be right back in about five, six minutes, everybody.

Don't go anywhere.

Madhouse Radio taking a break.

Time to go to the bathroom, grab a beer, and all that stuff.

We'll be right back in about five minutes, six minutes, seven minutes, something like

that.

Figure it out.

It's too doggone late.

That's right.

Gotta testify.

Come up in the spot, look at X to fly.

Yeah.

For the day I die.

Madhouse Radio will be back right after this.

Don't tell me 40,000 people are coming here.

You don't talk to me like that, bitch.

I don't even know who the fuck the fuck is.

Put your man on the phone, I said.

What are you crying for?

Did someone die?

Ma'am?

Yes?

I have gas.

Listen.

Madhouse Radio is live Thursday nights at 10 p.m. Eastern.

Why don't you shut the hell up?

Fuck you!

Fucking penis!

Yes!

Be sure to visit us online at madhouselive.com.

Oh, man, I'm the best there is, honey.

You're going to look at me and go,

This is me.

Well, hey, it's me.

Giving you the word of love.

They must have some crazy dogs.

I don't want your crazy dog.

Get on down.

Or do you like the little young black man?

I won't be bad.

You're going to cry.

I won't cry?

You're going to cry.

Please, talk.

Revolute Talk.

show.blogspot.com

prank call

podcast

internet

for you

for your family

for your future children

it's all right here

Madhouse Raiders back

yeah I got a cell phone

a new cell phone

I got a T-Mobile Dash yesterday

yeah I'm not

you know why I don't

I don't want to get the internet servers on it

because all you can use on it is

it's not even 3G

it's just Edge

it's like the fastest you can get

after T-Mobile right now.

I thought they had the V-Stream

or whatever the hell it was called.

No, that's Verizon or something.

They have a new one coming out,

but they haven't rolled it out.

They've been wanting to roll it out

for like nine months now

or some new fast shit.

Slow ass.

Yeah, I know.

Well, even the iPhone,

it's not even 3G.

The iPhone's like some crap too.

It's something else.

What have they got?

I don't know.

The iPhone sucks, dude.

It's going to suck balls.

Like, you've seen the commercials for it.

It's not going to be anywhere near as fast.

It's all hyped up.

I've seen the, like,

when they were doing the demonstration

at the Apple convention or whatever.

It's not going to be that fast.

It looked cool, but it was moving fast at the time.

That's not how fast it's going to move.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's not.

Come on, man.

On that technology?

No.

No, thank you.

What is it, $399 with a two-year contract or something like that?

It's five years.

It's a five-year contract, $399.

Think about it.

You're going to get that phone, and you're only going to have service for two years?

Yeah.

Yeah, right.

And then you said, and they already said they already got the new version coming out

in six months afterwards or something.

you know

and it only holds

8 gigs worth of music

I mean

what else can you

I mean how much

do you really need

with you at all times

I've got 60

I'm on

no I know

but that's your iPod

my iPod yeah

whatever

anyway so I like

my new phone

but I gotta figure out

how to browse

and stuff on it

a lot of shit like that

so yeah

alright folks

Milkman are you here

Milkman is Milkman

anywhere

he's not responding

to our request

you muted him

no I didn't

I haven't touched

the mute

in 3 weeks

I haven't muted

Milkman

so don't give me

that shit man

Don't give me that shit with Milkman.

He's not even responding.

Milkman, talk now or you are fired.

Forever hold your peace, for real.

All right, Milkman's in the toilet.

That's it.

No more Milkman for the rest of the show.

That's it.

Out of here.

You're gone.

Sign on.

All

right, so we're going to use the spoof tell card, I guess, because Milkman is not responding.

And that's okay.

No problem with that.

Your connection just went slow or something over here.

Oh, yeah?

Maybe it's just this machine.

I don't know.

I hope it's that machine.

Ah, shit.

You know, Comcast is doing some shit lately.

Let me look.

don't jinx the show man do not do not do that okay japan plans nursing home for dogs

what well here's god don't they eat the dogs after a point there anyway that's china i'm sorry

that's aged meat yeah aged meat that's it they're kobe beef kobe dog that's china though let's not

confuse our asians man didn't you live in japan you know what you know what they're into i lived

Lived there for three or four years.

You ever get any pandas?

It was Okinawa.

I wasn't in Japan.

See, it's a big difference.

What's the difference between Okinawa and Japan?

About 1,000 miles.

Seriously?

Or 500 miles.

But it's not just all Americans.

Okinawa's here.

Japan's here.

Japan's Okinawa.

It's the same thing.

Speak the same language, no?

Well, they do, but it's the same thing between Spanish and Puerto Ricans.

No, those damn Puerto Ricans.

Yeah.

Hamster versus cookie bag.

So you never bought any panties out of a vending machine?

Is that even true?

I heard that's crap anyway, the whole...

You know, you always hear, like, yeah, in Japan, you can go down to the red light district

and they sell girls' panties in the vending machine.

I'm like, yeah, how are you going to know it's not new?

What do they do?

Do you actually find the pubes in it or something like that?

I mean, what are you going to do?

All you know, they're probably just putting in some old panties in there.

Cucumber-flavored soda in Japan.

That is nasty cucumber-flavored soda.

Have you ever seen the website that shows all the different ice cream from Japan,

all the nasty flavors they're into?

too did they're like squid no no the weirdest thing i ever had was it's either squid or octopus

ink covered popcorn powdered squid ink i was like i ate it it was like it was all right could you

tell the difference or no it wasn't all that great it was nice i hear they're into anything

that tastes raw or like raw seafood they're they're all about what was funny is they had

like a giant cheeto stick you know the cheeto puffs yeah they took one big stick and that's

that you get for, like, 10 cents.

Why make you keep digging in the bag?

Give you one big cheese puff, man.

I would totally be into that, man.

Just like I've seen pork rinds.

They give you one big cube like this

because they just cut the room together.

No, Puerto Rico, hell yeah.

There's one town in Puerto Rico called Bayamón,

and you go there, and they give you the piece of pork rind

that's as big as the size of your head,

and they sell them on the roadside.

You get that thing, and I swear to God,

you can break your teeth on the damn thing

if you're not careful about it.

Milkman didn't know what we were talking about, but, of course, Milkman is somewhere else, so I don't know.

You want to try to call Milkman?

14 reasons to allow drinking on the job.

Is that in Japan also?

No.

Okay, never mind.

All right.

All right, hang on.

Let's try to call Milkman real quick on the speakerphone.

It's an incentive to show up.

It reduces stress.

What is it now?

It leads to more honest communications.

An incentive to show up is drinking.

It reduces complaints about low pay.

I drink anyway.

Anyway, I don't care if it's, you know.

It cuts down the time off because you can work with the hangover.

Yeah.

All right, well, I don't understand what's going on.

Milkman just sent a text message, but we can't hear him at all.

Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.

When you're drinking?

That's, you got a point.

It helps save on heating costs in the winter.

It encourages carpooling.

Oh, yeah, I read an article.

I read an article.

They're close to developing air conditioning out of solar power.

Like an actual efficient solar-powered air conditioner.

Where's that ring coming from?

The Vivian.

Did you hear that?

Is that just me, or is the phone ringing while I'm...

Oh, that's right.

Lick my balls.

Hello?

Are you as blind as you are dumb?

Look at your Gmail, idiot.

Milkman sent you...

Milkman, you didn't send me anything.

Why aren't you talking on the computer for?

We're not.

We're talking to you this whole time.

We can hear you, but you're not talking to us.

Okay.

You're going to go back to the computer now, Milkman, so we can continue the show?

Yeah, man, I sent you the card.

Why are you not paying attention?

I sent you a brand new card.

Look and cheat on it.

Bye-bye.

There you go.

Hello.

All right, good.

Milkman, I don't know what you were doing.

Can you send that to me again?

Because I don't see it at all.

Phone card.

Need a bag.

What?

Send the phone card again.

Oh, my God.

This is the worst show of June.

I've been on vacation for a while.

And we've only done one show so far before this one.

So, Milkman.

Milkman, God damn it.

Answer.

Oh, Jesus, God.

I'm sending you the card again.

Okay.

All right.

Good.

I really want to call this pedophile bestial.

You want me to call dark chocolate, don't you?

All right.

Will wants us to call dark chocolate.

All right.

Milkman's going to send that in.

And I actually called before that the technician and asked him to play a song for me, but we

ain't going to do that.

Where did you send the song before?

On G-Talk?

Hello.

Yeah, I sent it to you a long time ago.

I sent you a couple of them.

On G-Talk, that's what I'm asking.

I said, did you like the Johnny Cash song?

And you said yes.

And obviously, we didn't listen to it.

Can I tell you a true story about that?

No.

Okay, well, I'll tell you anyway.

Lie is better.

Lie.

Well, here's the true story.

I never listened to it.

I just accepted it, and you asked me if I liked it.

I know you didn't.

I said, yeah.

I was just really lazy.

I know you didn't.

That's why I'm calling you on it now.

Because you didn't lie to me.

I was really lazy that night, and I didn't feel like telling you,

and I didn't want to listen to it.

I'm sorry, man.

You're an asshole.

I'm an asshole.

I don't do that

I don't smoke

I don't smoke either

It's been 15 days

For me since I last smoked

What do you want

A fucking cookie or something

You're not supposed to

Black people

Always trying to get credit

For something they're supposed to do

That's what Chris Chuck says

I'll take care of my kids

You're supposed to

I'm sorry

Will's not black

He's like Afro something

Afro

No actually

It's really a good song

And a lot of people

May like it

It's a

It's a Johnny Cash

cover of a modern song.

All right.

Which kind of makes it interesting.

I'll see if I can find it.

And in the meantime, we're going to call your number next.

I did send you a card again.

Do I got it?

I got it.

Do I send it again to make sure that you get it?

Nope, man.

I got it.

Hang on, folks.

The next prank call of the night is coming up.

I'm going to break my rusty trombone.

My computer works with Curtis.

Hey, Curtis.

What's going on, brother?

What's happened?

Not much, man.

I need some help with the Texaco port.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah, what do you got? Well, how much are your spaces, first of all?

What's that?

How much are your spaces?

How much? Uh, $19.95 for a month.

It's 2007, stupid.

Hey.

Huh?

It's 2007, though.

2007.

Hello? Mr. Curtis?

Yes.

Okay, so how much a month now?

It's $19.95 a month.

You know, you're not too, you're not really bright for me asking you techno support questions.

What do you support? Do you support Cisco routers?

Uh, we can't support it yet.

What about COBOL programming?

Mmm, that I'm going to have to defer to my technician.

Oh, you're not a technician now?

I'm not a technician, no.

You're a secretary?

No, I'm actually a national company secretary.

All right, copy down this memo, secretary.

Are you ready?

Hello?

Go for it.

All right, you need to take my name as Jack Valenti.

Okay.

All right, that's Jack with an H.

You got that?

Yep.

Okay.

Are you writing this down?

I am writing it down.

And what's my name?

What's my name?

How do you spell your last name?

V-A-L-E-N-T-Y.

Valenti.

Okay.

All right, I'm calling from the Rand Corporation.

Okay.

Okay, and my toll-free line is 888-278-8509, extension 128.

Okay.

Okay, and we need someone here as soon as possible.

Do you guys cover the area, the Phoenix area?

Yes, we do.

Okay, how soon could you be here?

Are you wanting on-site service itself?

God damn it, as soon as Paul Curtis, man, what is going on with you, dude?

You're really not coming.

You know what they say about first impressions?

We do everything remotely.

You do everything remotely.

Mm-hmm.

How do you do technical support remotely?

You explain that to me, smart guy.

We connect you off right at the top of the computer.

We diagnose and fix the problem for you right then and right there.

That sounds like dirty pool to me, brother.

No, not really.

I don't like people coming into my house touching my computer machine.

I can understand that.

So what are you going to get your...

I have one thing in security.

You get all your dirty oils on it, and I don't appreciate it.

So you're going to connect to my computer somehow magically.

What you do is you go to our website.

You enter a username and password that will be set up to your account.

From that standpoint, you authorize the technician to remotely connect.

Yeah, really?

You talk to the technician.

Yeah.

You tell him what the problem is, and then he will solve the problem.

Yeah?

So it works like that, huh?

That's not as easy as I can get it.

So let me ask you a question, then.

How do I go to your website when my computer isn't working, you stupid shit?

How?

Just call the technician on the 800 number.

Call the...

Oh, my God.

Okay, so he's going to connect through the phone to my computer and fix it?

No, he's actually going to go through some...

There's about six or seven reasons why he can't get connected to the Internet.

All right, go ahead, number one.

Number one.

What's that?

Number one?

As I mentioned, I'm not the technical guy.

You're the secretary.

Well, if you want to call us back, you can.

So what are you then? Are you a man or a woman? What's it going to be?

Would you like the 877 number?

I don't care. I gave you the 888 number. What's the big deal?

I'll have them give you a call.

Okay, well.

Okay, now you tell me, what's your job title exactly? Phone man?

Yep. I just take the calls.

You take the calls and that's it?

Mm-hmm.

Okay, can you offer me any suggestions on what to do with this COBOL thing?

You know what? I'll have you call our technicians.

They've got a 10-minute free consultation that they can answer all of your questions.

It sounds like dirty pool to me.

You know, whenever I call, I need testicle support.

You're telling me to tell you I need testicle support.

Is that funny or something?

Is that kind of a joke?

You know, sir, every time I call for phone sex, they tell me the first 10 minutes are free.

I get my phone bill.

It turns me $52 for 11 minutes.

What the fuck is that about?

Hello?

It's gone.

Milkman, are you...

I was messaging you all along.

You're not looking, dude.

It says testicle support.

Even Will was telling me that.

I don't pay attention.

Yeah, but they have testicle support.

Right.

You're not paying attention.

I was saying, like, I need testicle support.

I need testicle support.

Testicle support.

I need testicle support.

Oh, yeah, I got testicle support.

Oh, you're a NADSAC supporter?

They call you a jockstrap.

What do you hate that guy, Milkman?

What's this all about?

Is that your evil nemesis or something?

No, dude.

Dude, I come up with a good riff, and I was freewheeling with it,

and I was, like, passing it to you, and I was like, pass the ball.

Come on, Carlito.

Dunk it.

Slam it.

I don't know what to do with the ball.

And I ate the ball.

I was like, we've got to have testicle support.

That's what you called him for.

I'm sorry, coach.

Good job, man.

I threw the football on the wrong end.

I took the ball, and I ran down to the wrong end zone.

Shut up.

Hang on, Milkman.

Entertain the people for 10 seconds.

All right.

I'm just being a douche anyway

I just thought it was funny

to make fun of the guy

because he sounded like he said

it was testicle support

I heard it every time

I kept saying testicle support

testicle support

he keeps saying testicle support

oh man

a jockstrap in 1995

I was like oh my god

this guy is like so gay

he sounded pretty femme

he liked the fact that I called him a secretary

you know

hell you call me a secretary

it's me and you

that's all I had to say

it's me and you

He probably had his stockings on still to support testicle stocking.

All right.

So we can call the pedophile beastie old guy who got caught by his fiance.

Let's call the pedo.

Let's call the pedo like the dead would say.

We will punish.

And then we'll call dark chocolate after that, Will.

That's your suggestion.

We're dead, man.

And it's a black girl called dark chocolate.

Wow.

Does she weigh more than 200 kilograms?

Probably.

Probably?

Did you know her?

Yeah.

All right, you don't want to say.

Okay, well, we're going to...

As you can hear in the background now, the Johnny Cash song was picked up a bit.

Yes, it has.

It's got 26 seconds left, so we'll play that for the time being.

After that, we are...

Bye-bye now to Johnny.

Goodbye, Dr. Johnny Cash.

And after that...

Milkman, did you see that movie, Walk the Line?

Did you watch it at all, being a Johnny Cash fan like you are?

Brokeback Mountain?

No, I heard it was pretty exciting.

No, Walk the Line.

That one.

The Johnny Cash movie.

I saw it.

Brokeback Mountain?

No, I'm just kidding.

Yeah, I know you like that one.

God damn it.

All right, so.

That was hot.

I bet it was.

Okay, well, look at Milkman with the cool terms.

That was hot.

Show me the money, Milkman.

All right, well, here we go with the, okay, so again, this story here, this is being sent.

This is a submission by Johnny Five in the chat room.

Johnny Five has said, we've got Angel, who is a crazy, Angel's a woman.

Okay, Angel's a woman, apparently.

Elaine, a crazy biker bitch who owns several Quiznos franchises and her ex-fiancee was

caught looking at pedophilia, or pedophilia, whatever you pronounce it like, I don't care,

bestiality on her computer while she was on vacation.

Wow.

That's sick, dude.

Two Quiznos.

How do you get a Quiznos franchise, Will?

I mean, that sounds like it just makes money for you.

No, a Quiznos franchise.

Oh, yeah, they make money.

They got them things open up.

They even had a commercial, start your own Quiznos business.

Yeah.

Yeah, all the sandwiches play Subway.

When they first started, they were big on franchise.

They were on franchise.

Now, if you can even get a Subway franchise, you're going to make hand and fist.

I have never seen a Subway closed down.

I've never seen a closed Subway.

That's for sure.

And you know what else?

McDonald's, if you could get them.

You need to have like $2 million in liquid assets just to get open a McDonald's franchise.

$2 million worth of alcohol?

No, $2 million worth of...

Somebody's getting drunk.

You have $2 million worth in cash.

You can't have it tied in stocks.

That's a lot of homemade moonshine.

That is.

That's a lot of Puerto Rican rum.

All right, so we're going to call Angel.

Angel is a woman, and the person who got caught was a man.

Johnny Five, what was the name of the guy?

Coquito, man, Coquito.

What was the name of the guy that got caught?

That would help out probably if you have that, if you're listening.

That would help out.

Let me call Dark Chocolate while we wait for Johnny Five to give me the name.

Hold on, I got his name.

Oh, yeah, Milkman knows.

The name is Angel

Alright, we're going to call Dark Chocolate

Ask her ex-fiance

Ask about her ex-fiance

It didn't give a name for the guy

Johnny5, if you're out there listening

Type in now because we're about ready to call Angel's cell phone

We need the culprit's name

Alright, well, yeah

While I confirm

I'm going to call Dark Chocolate as Fat Albert real quick

I think that's appropriate

And we'll be right back with that in a moment

Hey, baby

Oh, you have this?

No

This is awesome

Yeah it is

Fucking Vietnam baby

I used to watch the show

Tour of Duty

Oh hell yeah

Yeah

Was this the beginning

Of the show

Yeah

And then the last song

It started out like this

I don't remember the end song

That was a bad ass show

But no one ever died

In that show man

Let me talk about that

How are they gonna have

A show on Vietnam

Tour of Duty

Where no one ever died

What was that about man

That was on every Saturday night

I remember that

That was a good show

Bull crap

Half that show

Should have been dead

In the first season

Right back after this folks

Fuck chocolate

I see your red door, and I want it painted dark.

Hello.

All right.

I don't think they're going to answer there, John.

I won't say your real name, so in case they're hearing, you know.

All right, there goes that.

Oh, it does, really?

Why would you do that?

I'm going to have my phone pick up automatically.

Because she doesn't have hands to use that.

She doesn't have hands?

Are you kidding me?

Oh, my God.

Will, what are you trying to do?

And her name is Dark Chocolate?

No, it's something else.

Should I answer to Dark Chocolate if she was picking up?

His name is Mike.

Okay, yeah, Milkman.

The pedo's name is Mike.

What's going on with Milkman knowing all the answers to everything tonight?

What's that about?

What's 1 times 1?

12.

Now, that's a lie.

Why can 1 plus 1 be 3?

1 plus 1 is not divisible by 0.

No, but why can 1 plus 1 equal 3?

Why?

I don't know.

If 1 is 2.

Synergy.

Oh, yeah.

The combinedness of the two create more than 1 in the total.

Okay.

Anyways.

All right.

We're going to call it.

Also, it could be a quark.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We're going to call whatever milk, man.

You crack me up sometimes.

Ha, ha, ha.

Okay, we're going to call the ex-fiancee of the pedophile bestial guy, all right?

Ex-pedophile.

The ex-pedophile.

I used to be a pedophile.

I'm just a bestial file.

No, I just play with animals.

You just play with animals.

No, I just fuck dogs.

I've seen that online.

That is just the weirdest thing ever.

Will just admitted to breaking the law, everybody.

everybody. Will likes

bestial porn.

You heard it here first. Will is a

pervert.

She just like leans over and the

dog just starts humping her.

Yep.

Thank you, Milkman, for the recreation.

Hang on. Here comes that. And horse dongs

just don't fit. Donkey dongs.

Horse dongs just don't fit.

You horse dongs. You horse's

cock.

Thank you. Thank you.

I don't mind. I'm going to start putting

I'm going to start putting your 800 number on the bathroom walls.

Yeah, that's exactly what I want.

I want that crowd calling me.

The kind of crowd that goes around surfing.

Let me call this phone number.

That guy talks too much, man.

Just fucking sing the song.

Get on with it.

Someone at work the other day said that to me.

Get on with it.

The ex-fiance's name is Mike.

He's the pedo.

I'm sorry, but I'm not able to take your phone call.

Please leave a message and I'll get back to you.

But there's no answer.

Bye-bye.

When you have finished recording, you may hang up or press pound for more options.

Why don't you answer?

That's all I got.

No answer.

Waited too long.

Johnny Five, we tried.

We tried.

Johnny Five is alive.

But we couldn't do your call.

Sorry.

He is responding to the messages.

Very good return.

Thank you for listening.

Taking part of the man out.

Sorry your victim wasn't available.

Yeah.

Yeah, we're holding our own tonight.

I mean, we're not doing too bad.

I mean, we're entertaining at least.

Anal?

All right, we've got some idiots out there that are requesting the number.

We're going to call a number for a guy named Anal.

They would like us to...

Like us to what?

Broadcast the number when we're receiving calls.

Well, yeah, we're...

888-278-8509.

That's right.

888-278-8509.

This cat name, once again, is saying, please call a waterhead.

What's a waterhead?

Is that an Asian?

What's a waterhead supposed to be?

A waterhead.

That's a retard.

Oh, that's not nice.

Name Frank Dobbs.

Ted pranked him, Lego got him, and his wife.

Retards get married?

Wow.

I sold cell phones to two retarded people.

They were married and they were together.

Did you hook them up?

No, I fucking robbed their ass.

Because I was at one of them high sales pressure fucking cell phone companies.

You just sell them, like, wireless cards that they didn't need and shit like that?

Cell phones, man.

I sold them, like, three cell phones.

Like, yeah, you need this right here.

That's wrong.

Everything you want.

You just sell them.

Yeah, you need it.

Unlimited phone calls.

International calling.

You need an international.

I made, like, a hundred bucks off them.

Man, that's wrong.

That shouldn't be.

Man, what if that would have been, like, one of those things where it's the newsbreakers,

Channel 6, you know, we're hitting on cameras.

I don't care.

It was my job to do it.

These two retards went to buy cell phones.

What happened?

This gentleman here took advantage of them.

Next.

I took them out back and beat them.

The Channel 6 news solvers.

That's what it was, man.

That's not right, Will.

You're going to a bad place.

What if you become retarded?

Is Dark Choco calling back?

Ooh, it's a lady.

Can you do tush?

I don't know.

Tush.

Oh, it's the technical support.

I think so.

What's going on, Dad?

You're not?

What was he's name?

His name is Gay Gringle.

Gabe Gringle.

What's up, man?

What's up?

Who's this?

What's that?

Who is this?

It's Gabe Gringle, man.

Oh, Gabe Gringle.

What's up, man?

You don't remember?

Yeah, you know...

Gabe Gringle.

Oh, let me turn this air conditioner off.

God, you got like a milkman brand air conditioner.

He's got a window shaker.

A fan with ice, it sounds like.

Yeah.

I got a window unit.

He's got a fan with ice in it.

I got a fan with a pocket that I stick dry ice in.

He's just a big mess that's coming off the dry ice, fogging up your room.

Yeah, so aren't you staying on OBT or something like that, man?

No, I'm out of Orlando.

Fuck that place.

All right, man.

You're in the real world, huh?

Fuck, I'm in Memphis, Tennessee.

Good God.

Oh, yeah, that's a step up right there.

I'd rather be in Memphis.

Shout out to all my buddies in Memphis.

So what happened?

The job in Orlando is done?

You're done?

It's done.

Man.

And you hate...

He said he hated Orlando, but yet he was staying, like, on South OBT.

I mean, anybody would hate Orlando.

That's all you saw was South OBT.

I saw a lot of Orlando, but Jesus Christ.

Yeah.

Those fucking people, and it's just hot.

Yeah, it is just hot.

Well, we can't all have window shakers like you do, man.

Dude, it's so funny.

Like, different times you go out on OBT.

Like, if you go out at, like, 4.30, the hookers are totally different from, like, during the day or early evening.

It's like the strip club.

You go at 4.30, you get the different type of girl at 4.30.

You go at night.

No, like, 4.30, it's the three-foot-tall, 400-pound, really funny black girls chasing down a truck.

God, man.

Yeah, this one, I was driving on OBT.

Nobody knows what the fuck we're talking about.

It's just a street in Orlando.

Every town has the street where you get the hookers, you know, the dance, the, you know.

Not like OBT.

Yeah, not like OBT.

I was like 18 years old in my first car, and I'm driving through OBT.

I have no idea really where I was.

And I'm driving down, and there's this woman, and she's obviously a hooker,

and I got my windows down and shit.

And she's like, hey, can you give me a ride down the street?

I was like, uh, no.

It was like a little scare.

I was like, no.

Every once in a while

You drive out

And you're like

Whoa shit

Yeah you see some weird

Weird freaky shit

In an OBT

Like some penthouse

Looking bitches

You're like

Oh fuck

What are they

Yeah

It's not like

It's not like it used to be

In an OBT

It used to be a lot crazier

Out there

It's kind of gotten

Like late 90s

I'm gonna give a fuck dude

They just drive on by

Yeah well they got

Other things to fry

You know what I mean

I said fuck on the radio

Yeah

Yeah so

So there it is

So what's up with you man

I mean you're enjoying

The time out of Orlando

You're working out there

In Memphis now

or is that where you stay at?

I'm still back and forth

between here and Atlanta.

I don't know.

Cool.

I bought a house here, so...

I tried to get a hold of you

like three or four weeks ago

because it was like,

I had...

Well, I was going to hook up.

I was going to call you

that one time I came in

and then,

man, I got sick coming in.

I just fucking got there

and went to bed.

It's a good thing

you stayed away then, man.

You don't need to get sick.

You got to be careful in OBT.

Yeah?

Man, you got to...

Did you pick something up

at OBT?

Tell us the truth.

You never tried?

You never tried to get sick?

You were right there.

You never made a stop, nothing like that?

Too much free pussy, what the fuck am I gonna mess with?

You got an old lady too, you said, right?

Yeah, that's right, you picked up the airport that one day.

Yeah, fuck.

Oh yeah, I just missed you at the airport.

Yeah, I remember I got home and I said, you better go now,

cause there's like no parking.

I spent a whole hour looking for parking at the stupid airport, man.

Oh yeah, my ass was on the roof that day.

Yeah, I wasn't even, I was like on the,

I was going like, I went through three garages,

I don't know what day, I don't know how I parked that day,

I was like under the hotel on the roof.

Every time I fucking go to the airport, I just go straight to the roof.

Yeah, you might as well.

What's the hell?

Just walk, you know.

Don't keep yourself...

You get closer to the elevator anyway.

Yeah, that's true, actually.

And I ended up, like, finding some elevator that got me, like, right by the terminal.

Not by the terminal, but right by the check.

And I was like, oh, that works kind of well.

I hate that airport, dude.

OIA is, like, the worst airport in the world, man.

Yes, yes.

Yeah, I heard bad things about the Atlanta airport, though.

I've never been, so I couldn't tell you.

If you go to the airport, they get you through it fast.

Do they?

It's just busy.

I heard it's huge and busy, though, probably.

All right, man.

Thanks for checking in, bro.

All right, bro.

You want me to make a call?

Yeah, you want to do a call?

If it got numbers, you got a number you want us to do?

Let me see what I got here.

Call anybody.

I'll fuck with them.

Call anybody.

All right.

The last number we got that we didn't call was the Munch Mart.

This is from Lonesome Loser.

Munch Mart number two.

Number two.

Are you online?

Are you in the chat room or anything like that?

Yeah.

There you are.

Let me send you the details myself here so you know what we're talking about.

Let me get that there.

Send you a message.

All right.

You hang on the line.

and uh no he does excellent spanish accent you do excellent spanish accents he says you do milkman

says you do good spanish accents and like that is that right let me tell him i applied for a job

yeah i've got my green card what's the problem yeah what's the problem man all right dude

gang green is coming up with a prank call as they like to call it in just a moment

scanner for effect okay help me right now this is linda may help you geez this is this is leroy

It's a muncher one. The black man, he come in, he just robbed me.

Excuse me?

This is Leroy. I'm at the muncher house. I'm number one.

Black man, he just came in and robbed me. The police are here.

Okay, so you're calling Shelf Food Mart.

No, I'm calling from munch number one.

I have no idea. I don't know what to tell you.

You're number two, no?

No, this is Shelf Food Mart.

Shell Food Mart.

Yeah.

Okay, so you're just letting us know to be careful?

Is that what you're doing?

They rob me.

They say, I call you.

Why call me?

They say, it's your son rob this store.

No, no, no.

I'm sorry.

You must have the wrong number.

Why you see your son to rob my store?

And they're gone.

Ah, no.

He tried.

He's like, excuse me?

He just completely quit.

He doesn't want Italian to Spanish to Italian.

That's pretty funny.

Yeah, you get, like, three different accents in one call.

It's one big immigration.

That's a testament to America right there, the big melting pot.

You want to call goofies?

Goofies.

Oh, that number went out over the air.

Don't call that number, everybody.

Pluto downgraded to rock.

Male teacher, 17-year-old female student, six months in probation.

Wow, that's all he got?

Hell yeah, it was about time Justice came out, man.

Jeez.

This would be a predator to be under the camera.

Goochies or Goofies?

Goofies.

Oh, is Goofy in?

No, Goofy's gone.

This is Mickey Mouse.

I need to talk to Goofy.

Oh, well, just a minute.

I'll put Goofy on the phone.

Yeah, you put Goofy on the phone.

Hang on.

Snappy.

This is Goofy.

Hey, Goofy.

It's Mickey Mouse.

How you doing?

What do you want?

Nothing.

Can you come wash my ears?

Wash your ears?

Yeah.

Who the fuck is this?

It's Mickey Mouse, dude.

You sound familiar.

I sound familiar because I'm Mickey Mouse, you're Goofy, we work at Disney.

What are you doing, man?

Nothing. Can you come wash my ears? You got some weed?

No place, dude.

You got some weed, yo. Hook me up. Mickey Mouse, washed ears, smoking some weed.

Can't help you.

What you got over there? I know you got some bitches.

Budweiser, Bud Light, Jack Daniels, Jim Beam, McCarty, all that kind of crap, man.

Well, put the real Goofy on the phone.

I gotta go, dude. I wish I could help you.

You're just silly. Put Goofy on the phone.

Goofy's gone.

Goofy's gone?

Put that girl back on the phone.

Can't do that.

Why?

She gone?

She's gone.

Why can't you hook me up with no bud, yo?

Dude, Goofy don't sell pot.

I didn't say pot.

I said bud.

Well, I'm bud either.

Hook me up, yo.

I got to go, dude.

Wish I could help you.

Where are you going?

You kind of sound goofy, but you're not Goofy.

I didn't think Goofy was going to pick that up and put him on the phone.

Goofy's right there, man.

Is that Goofy?

Yeah, I don't know.

Fucking, you know Goofy smokes weed, man.

Please enter your destination number.

Dude, he sounded like Jim Florentine, the famous Frank Collar.

He did sound like Jim Florentine.

You got a point.

He did.

That's what I was...

I was trying to think of who he sounded like.

Yeah.

He's telling you you sound familiar.

Like, yeah, no shit.

We work together on Mickey Mouse.

That's pretty funny.

Yeah, that's my grandpa.

I just bash him over the head with a pan.

He's not breathing.

But go ahead and let me make the sale.

Yeah.

All right.

All right, gang.

Great.

Thanks for calling in, my brother.

All right.

Take care.

Thanks for listening.

that was uh

you know honestly

he comes in with the best

he comes in with the best prank calls of the night

I think I'm not embarrassed to say that

he probably did the best prank call of the night

it was that last goofy call

I'm not gonna be honest

I haven't done that good tonight whatever

I had a good show last week I come back this week

oh you're doing fine man

hey milkman no mercy

you're too hard on yourself

you're too conscious

No, you said hard.

I know where you're going with that.

You've all been out of shape.

Pervert.

All right, yeah, so what happened now?

The space shuttle has the blanket is broken.

Who cares?

That's a repair shuttle using staples.

It'd be cool when it blows up.

They'll all be flying down there with their parachutes.

They'll be throwing a shoelace there.

Yeah, they're going to put it.

Man.

Man, so really they're going to go out and do a space walk

or they're going to take parts out of the medical kit

and the tile repair kit in order to fix some blanket.

Like, did they say it wasn't even urgent?

The big problem now, the computers on board the space station failed,

and there's no control for the water or the oxygen or the power right now.

Man, I remember, like, six years ago, they had the whole layout in PopSci,

Popular Science Magazine.

Really?

What is it supposed to look like by 2009?

We're, like, a quarter of the way there.

It's, like, a quarter of the way there.

It was supposed to go up.

Like, Ronald Reagan said it was going to be up by the end of the 80s.

It was supposed to be up.

And the first piece got put together, like, in 99 or something like that.

I mean, come on, man.

Come on.

And you really think we went to the moon?

Do you really think we went to the moon?

We went to Arizona.

We went to the moon.

A lot of people don't think.

I don't know.

Every year I see more and more convincing evidence that we did not, in fact, go to the moon.

At least I don't think we went to the moon in Apollo 11.

You know the movie Capricorn 1?

Capricorn 1?

No.

What's that, a documentary or a movie?

No, it's a movie about that whole thing being falsified.

Really?

Yeah, there's so much evidence to shadows and that there's wind or something.

It was a documentary.

A documentary?

Yeah, a lot of people.

I don't know.

No, I mean.

India's going to have a car that's $2,500 brand new.

India's going to have a $2,500 car?

How big is it?

What's the gas model?

You know what's going to happen.

I don't know.

It's called an elephant.

Man, Indians.

Indians.

They shouldn't drive Indians, man.

Aren't they bad drivers, Indians?

They're going to hold back 2,000 students because they have 19 or more absences.

You Indians just deal with selling the gas to us and everything,

and we'll take care of the driving.

Let the grown-ups drive.

All right, anything else you should know about the news here?

Nothing.

British Army spends more money feeding its dogs than its soldiers.

Yeah, it's baby puppy cat's birthday.

Wow.

Who's this, the dog?

Tennessee.

Baby puppy cat.

Happy birthday.

Tennessee sends tax agents to Bonnaroo to collect.

What?

Bonnaroo?

You know, Athena.

They're going to collect tax on illegal drugs.

Athena was trying to convince me to go to Bonnaroo.

We were going to go to Bonnaroo.

Some stupid, weird festival out in the woods or something.

You got to go camping.

I was like, I don't want to go camping.

They have one out here.

No, man, that guy got caught on a subway train last week.

The guy shitting?

Bonnie Aru.

That's right, that's almost the name.

Yeah, I don't like, I'm not into camping.

Have you been to the Rainbow Festival?

No, I would never go anything with the name Rainbow in it, Will.

No, no, no, it's a bunch of guys like Milkman.

Yeah, a bunch of guys in the Rainbow Festival.

No, I mean, like a bunch of people.

Yeah, Rainbow Pride Day, I know what that is.

No, no, it's not Rainbow Pride.

Will was out there at Disneyland wearing a red shirt

Not about going

On gay day

I have some friends that go

We're done, I'm done

We're all done, that's it

Will you done? Yes sir

Milkman take us out of here my good man

Good man, well I'd like to

Definitely give a big thank you out there

Mr. Tetto

For providing us a wonderful stream here

And a wonderful chat room

Dr. Lego also gives us our stereo

Peace to Signal

Thanks a lot

You guys are great

KDK

And everyone's sponsor

Love ya

I'd also like to give

A special thanks

To one of the hardest

Working men

In all of radio

Carlito

Don't kiss my ass

If you disagree

Yeah

And his name is

Boom Storm Shadow

Yes

Real name Michael Walls

Thank you so much

Yes

Thanks Storm Shadow

Lonesome Loser

He actually won the

Indianapolis 500 last year

The whole 18

You know

And he's a heavyweight

Boxing champ

Of 2007

Yep.

Thanks a lot.

I appreciate all you do, Mr. Storm Shadows.

Yep.

I'd also like to thank Freeware for joining us here on the show and helping keep it alive.

That's right.

Well, thank you for coming in, Will.

Yep.

What he said.

Also, I'd like to thank all of you out there listening.

Because let me tell you what.

It's all about you, the listeners.

We pay every week to entertain, provide the most interactive entertainment and all prank or radio right here on the internet for free.

Your cost, zero.

One or two laughs at a minimum.

Our cost, XXX.

Yeah.

Thanks a lot.

We really appreciate you.

$92 a month.

I need to start asking for donations.

And not to count the cards.

And that's you, Milkman.

Thank you, Milkman, for that.

Who is Frank?

Why are they telling me to kick?

I stole the cards anyway.

All right.

Frank.

Who's Frank?

Frank.

Who's this Frank you're telling me?

Please call...

Okay, Frank Dobbs.

Dude, I have no idea, man.

Lego had Melissa...

Oh, okay.

Then some guy's been on another call and got screwed up.

Yeah, on another show.

All right.

I've been flooding in with the old Fabio.

Some redneck dude.

All right.

You want me to try calling this Frank Waterhead?

I guess I can't.

Call him.

What the hell, dude?

I don't want to hear it.

All right.

Milkman finished taking us out of here.

We got two prank call requests.

What the hell?

We hadn't even looked at the prank request, man.

What the shit, man?

All right.

I'm going to finish the premature ending of the show.

And we're going to get back immediately to some more calls.

I guess so.

And then we'll let you know what happens.

That's right.

And I'd like to thank all of you, especially our listeners out there.

We love you all.

It's all about you.

We love you.

Sweet kisses.

Happy birthday, baby puppy cat.

And I especially want to thank our fearless waiter of the channelismo of the militia of the madhouse, Carlito.

Yeah.

Without you as our guidance, what kind of fun would we have?

Thank God for Carlito, y'all.

We love you.

Okay.

Back to you, big man.

Thank you, little man.

All right.

We've got two prank requests here, and I really need to do them.

We've got, okay, the reverend has sent in two numbers here.

We've got Patrick, who gets really angry when people make fun of the way he dresses.

Ha ha!

He tends to basically dress like a cowboy.

The boots, hats, even a huge belt buckle and tight jeans.

All right.

He's nowhere near being a cowboy, though he's a real estate agent.

Okay, good.

And we also have...

Oh, my God.

He's got the little Mother of Pearl buttons on there.

Good God.

We also got...

This one's good.

Some chick whose house is filthy, actually.

A friend of ours called Child Protective Services on her,

but they didn't do anything.

Her kid wears clothes that don't fit.

People smoke pot and drink around her.

That's just wrong.

You could totally freak her out if you call and pretend to be a lawyer or something.

Well, maybe I'll do that.

All right.

We got that.

And then we got to call this Frank guy who's apparently a retard or a waterhead, as they say.

All right.

Well.

All right.

Well.

Did you see the message I sent to you there?

One of our calls?

Yeah.

One of our listeners.

So you tilt the head and the water comes.

Yeah.

That's sad.

Don't make fun of the retards, man.

Down syndrome is not a joke.

Okay.

That's not a joke.

I got beer.

I got rum.

Yay.

Okay, let me call the Waterhead first.

Let me call Frank.

And then we will call the two requests.

And that's it.

So we're closing off all the requests now.

Don't send any more requests because we're not going to be able to get to them.

It's late.

And I still haven't had dinner yet.

And that's a tragedy.

I need to eat.

He hasn't even banged a peanut yet.

Make sure you come to

MadhouseLive.com

and see tonight's event

in picture

Streaming video, all 10 minutes of it

Not even, all 3 minutes of it

And Will will be holding the camera

by the way

Zoom in

Up close

That means Nuno will be wanking in the background

Will is the fluffer

We're going to call Frank Dow

Sing on, everybody.

Just a moment with the next prank call of the night.

We're wrapping things up here.

What's going on, brother?

Who's this?

Hey, not bad.

That's who it is.

Hey, you want to buy a cell phone?

Who am I talking to?

Not bad, not bad.

What's going on, brother?

Who am I talking to?

Not bad, not bad.

Are you interested in a cell phone, sir?

Why are you doing that?

Because it's not bad.

It's not that bad to do this, right?

It's not a bad thing.

It's too late to be calling people like this, man.

I mean, why are you doing this?

It's not a bad thing, brother.

Come on, brother, baby.

Come on, baby boob.

Please don't call again, okay?

Well, what if I call again?

What's going to happen, though?

Is it a bad thing?

It's rather rude.

I'm not being rude.

I'm just saying not bad.

I called you brother.

Come on.

What's bad about calling my brother a brother?

Please, sir, do not call again.

I appreciate it.

Do you believe in Jesus?

Yes, I do.

All right, can we do the Our Father Who Art in Heaven?

Please don't bother me.

I will be thy name.

Goodbye.

Thy kingdom come.

All right, well, there's Frank, everybody.

Knock that one out.

There you go.

Enter your destination number now.

Let me call his personal cell now.

Try that.

There is a reclaim in a comment in the chat.

That's not working.

Okay, let me clear the line.

We are going to call the woman with the dirty house whose kids got called into Child Protective Services.

Ashley, one moment.

Hello?

Yeah, how are you doing?

Good.

Is Ashley?

Yes, this is.

Yeah, Jack Valente, how are you?

Fine.

Okay.

Look, I want to speak to you about the cleanliness of your house.

Okay.

Okay. About how many pieces of garbage do you think you might be able to get out of there within the next 24 hours?

What is this about?

There's a lot of trash in your house and there's a complaint about you.

There's a complaint about me?

About the trash in your house, yeah.

From who?

Child Protective Service.

Oh, there's no trash in my house. It's all in the trash can.

Well, we're going to have to come down there and get all the trash and if not, it's going to be a big problem.

Okay.

Okay. Now, we also have reason to believe that people are doing drinking and smoking stuff.

off i don't care about that i just want your garbage okay okay i like garbage i'm what you

call a garbage file okay and i actually like to take garbage you ever know you know garbage juice

yeah you ever leave a trash can over full for like a week and you get that juice on the bottom

of the bag yeah i like to put that juice on me garbage juice you ever do that no would you would

Would you wash me?

Would you wash me and put on garbage juice?

Do you have any garbage juice?

I don't know.

Can you ask the guy back there if he had garbage juice?

What was that?

Do you have any garbage juice?

No, I don't have any garbage juice.

Do you have a juicer I can borrow?

Who is this?

Jack Valenti.

I'm the garbage juice man.

You're the garbage juice man?

Yeah.

You're the garbage juice.

I want a liter.

You shut up, you homosexual.

You're a homosexual?

Who's that guy who was speaking with my girlfriend?

Oh, yeah.

He is a homosexual.

He is?

Yeah.

Can I talk to him?

Okay, go ahead.

Hey, what's up?

Hey, what's up, man?

How you doing?

This is the Meatball.

What's going on?

Uh, what you doing?

This is the Meatball.

What's going on, baby?

You're the Meatball?

Yeah, my name is the Meatball.

I love meatballs.

Man, you do.

Hey, man, do you like garbage juice?

Yeah, I want to buy a liter of garbage juice.

Stupid, I'm looking for garbage juice, you dumbass.

Well, that's not your fucking selling.

Don't say the F word to me, you shit.

Oh, I'm sorry, ass.

I'll let you go that time.

That's one.

Okay, okay.

Now, how much garbage, you guys?

I'm in the market for garbage, for making garbage juice.

What kind of ingredients do you need to make garbage juice?

Garbage.

I produce a lot of garbage.

Garbage bags?

Yes, that too.

Donkeys.

What are we talking?

What kind of deal are we making here?

I like garbage juice.

I like to put garbage juice on me while people wash.

Where are we going to do this at?

Where is this going down?

In your garbage house.

My house is not garbage.

Yes, it is.

Okay, at my house, then.

You know that dumpster by the 7-11?

Yes.

That's your house.

That's my garbage house.

Yeah, that's where I want to meet you there, and I'm going to put garbage juice on you.

Boy, that's not really putting garbage juice on you.

I don't want it on me.

Okay, you don't have to participate, man.

You don't have to participate.

Oh, I was so down for it, though.

You want garbage juice?

I want to garbage juice you.

On me?

Yeah.

You like to keep the garbage juice on me?

You got it.

We're all going to watch while you put garbage juice on you.

Do you prefer green garbage juice or brown garbage juice?

I want brown.

Dirty and brown, baby.

Brown garbage juice?

Oh, I love the brown garbage juice.

You know how you make brown garbage juice, right?

No, but I'm willing to learn.

You take dirty underwear?

Okay.

And you make a soup out of it?

Okay.

You drink the water?

Okay.

That's brown garbage juice, baby.

Oh, that sounds like some hot garbage juice.

Yeah.

How old is that girl?

What happened?

How old is that girl?

Which girl?

The girl you was talking to in the background.

There's, like, seven girls now.

Oh, my God.

Jonas is 83, too.

Put these one...

Let me talk to all of them in just a second.

Yeah, they're all, like, barely 18.

All right.

That's what I'm talking about.

We're going to hide tonight.

Put them all in succession.

Succession, guys.

Come on.

Let me talk to the oldest one first and go down.

Hi.

Who's this?

Um, Michelle.

Michelle, how old are you?

Um, I guess I'm 17.

Shut up.

How big are your spaces?

My what?

Your spaces.

My spaces.

How big are your spaces, Ziv?

I don't have any spaces.

Oh, you got a space, baby.

I got a space.

You want me to show you your space?

You want me to show you your spaces?

Um, maybe.

You're 17?

Um, yeah, probably, yeah.

When did women become such whores?

Um, like, since, like, the 1970s or, like, something like that.

You ever wear a tie?

A tie?

Yeah.

Um, no.

Oh, damn, Ziv.

The man says you wore a tie once.

Alright, look.

What do you know about garbage use, man?

Um, like everything.

Yeah?

You have any garbage?

Yeah, I love, I love the garbage, yeah.

God, you're freaking me out, baby.

You're freaking me out, baby.

You're doing it to me.

You're a male, man.

Is there a sexier woman than you there?

Um, sort of, maybe.

Oh, put someone else on.

What?

Put the next woman on.

Okay, hold on just a second.

Alright.

Alright. This is the same woman. Who is this?

Hello.

This is not a woman.

Yeah.

Is this a woman? Is this a woman?

This is a woman.

Hello. Where is the phone?

This is the father.

This is the father?

Yes.

Where is the son?

Son?

Yeah.

No son, no son.

Would you like to hear the Holy Ghost?

The Holy Ghost? I love garbage juice, though.

Oh, fuck you and your garbage juice, man. I just want to talk to the Holy Ghost.

I already know about garbage juice.

I got really high once and I talked to the Holy Ghost. Hang on, Will's going to say something to me.

Get a girl on the phone with the voices you're saying

And make a moan

Are you guys into faking orgasms at all?

Oh god that explains it right there

I'm gonna go

Bye ladies

Bye

What a weird conversation

That was what it was

You could have like brought in

The finger

The fecal finger painter

Yeah

I put my thumb on my ass

And then

I drew a thunderbolt

On my chest

On my forehead

Like Harry Potter

I like to ride trains, mate

They deserve to ride trains, mate

Hang on

I'm calling the last call of the night

Which is the guy

Who doesn't like it

When people make fun of

When he dresses like a cowboy clown

Do you do clown parties?

Do you do clown parties, boy?

Do you have

Do you have Mother of Pearl buttons on your shirt?

You are probably definitely a mother of pearl.

I'm just going to ask him why he dresses like a faggot.

Hang on.

As Eddie Garcia, of course.

Maybe break into the following recorders and flip him out.

He's looking in the middle of it.

Yeah, like put him on.

I forgot you're a mortgage broker.

Sorry, I can't tell you.

You're not my mortgage broker.

I have assumptions about you.

Oh, I forgot.

Try and crack it.

record your message after the tone

crack voicemail

dude it's not voicemail

yes it is it's voicemail

that was voicemail

no you don't know anything

alright

anyway we're done

Will thanks for coming over

that was a great comeback call man

that was good hey you know

we turned it around

we did a 180 on your ass alright

milkman thank you

Milkman I said thank you

And I won't say it again

This is your last chance to accept my thank you

Excuse us

Can we do one more call to the convention please

Nope

God damn it

We gotta get a number to the now convention

The now they're done

It's 2 o'clock in the morning

I'm talking about some other day.

You can call, like, three or four numbers, man.

Try one more.

Wake up call.

No, I'm done.

I'm out of here.

It's over.

I got stuff to do.

You know where your child's at?

We just thought we'd ask.

Nice try.

All right.

Well, if you're listening on Talk Show, get ready for silence.

PCR, get ready for silence.

PCU Radio and madhouselive.com.

We picked up some people there.

We did?

Oh, look at that.

A lot of people on Talk Show.

Hey, thanks, Talk Show, for all you Talk Showers.

You should have called in.

We've never had a caller from TalkShoe.

In the future, feel free to call in and tell your friends and listen next week.

We don't ever broadcast a number very often.

No, we don't.

But, yeah, maybe next time.

We should please decide or at least the number.

Yeah.

Let me unmute them all.

See what happens if I do that.

Hey, what's up, suckers?

Oh, no one's wanting to talk.

Who's...

Oh, what's up?

Hey, what are you doing?

I'm waiting for my boyfriend to come home.

He's too drunk.

He's staying over the night here.

Ah, sure.

Yeah, all right.

Take care.

Bye, girlfriend.

All right.

Bye, Ms. Will.

That's Will's girlfriend

Your girl sounds hot

Will's like I know

Will's like I better get home

I would have get some tonight

But no

She's playing stingy

I'm going to swang that thing honey

She mad at you

She thinks she's putting me on punishment

But not getting me any

They don't know that we get it anyway

Oh yeah baby

I have that one song go every morning

When I get help

let me just go to my little black book here real quick call number two what's up baby there's always

a woman i really hope athena's asleep and i'm listening to this all right so we're out of here

uh anyway uh phil henry coming next on the madhouse radio network or silence like i said

anyway we're out of here play all the way please because quite a few people actually listen to this

and do get excited if you don't let it play through is this do people like this do people

Do people actually like this?

Do people actually like the Phil Henry picks?

I got tricked, man.

I got tricked for the first couple of months.

A lot of other people share our taste.

It's pretty funny.

It's like prank calls on a different level.

It's different.

All right.

I fell for it for at least a couple of months.

The guy is just controversial.

Yeah.

The thing, what happened.

He always plays innocent and he puts on idiots that he lets pretend like he can't control.

Yeah.

But he's really letting them do it.

Yeah.

And that's what's really funny is that people fall for that and he keeps on just stretching

that bit forever.

Yeah.

The problem with Phil Henry is those are off his website.

A lot of times they cut them off for one reason or another.

It's not my fault, but I try to play the ones that are as complete as possible.

The next one here is actually rather really complete.

It's a good one, too.

Okay, so it's not in our control then.

It's not.

Now we know that.

I do my best.

At least we did voice that concern for our listeners.

That's right.

Here at the most interactive radio show on PCU.

Yeah, in the country and even some parts of the world where you can catch the internet.

International.

Even India.

Internet radio.

We need to call one of those.

Try us in our Weibo chat.

I want my job back.

Try us in any of our other instant messengers.

Like our sub-manifestors who can call us and talk to us on top of the pig.

We'll catch you next week, everybody.

Later, Milkman.

Will, everybody else.

Top of the pig.

All right, good night.

Leave me in bed in five minutes.

So you will hear that.

Yes, I know.

What a lovely trip.

Bye.

You're a bum.

Calls (23, 40 min of 1 h 57 min)

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