2007-08-30 Show

And who plays?

What happens in America?

Well, we steamed your ass in World War II.

What do you have to do?

Who ever did?

And who helped you out just now?

You piss off, woman.

Don't talk to me like that.

We don't need you anyway, bitch.

God, fuck you.

Call me a stinky, stinky fucker.

You are listening to the Madhouse Radio Podcast.

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Mr. Soul.

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Yeah.

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much more all at madhouse live.com all right big crowd big crowd for that um other than that folks

uh we really have a few news items here to talk about we're not going to dwell too much on them

of course there's only one news item to talk about i think uh this week and that would be the uh the

gay senator the gay senator senator craig senator craig senator craig yet another example of the

The blasphemy that exists in today's politics, especially among the Republican Party.

He was arrested, of course, in a police undercover operation at an airport's men's room.

And he's accused of lying under interrogation afterwards, according to an MSNBC source.

Imagine that.

So yeah, apparently, and I guess this happened in June.

June 11th to be exact.

That was about a week before Carlito Day.

he solicited an undercover police officer for sexual evils shame shame shame so anyway uh it

did not work now first of all my question i i told this to my my fiancee athena how is it possible

if you're a senator that you can't just uh call a male escort to your house or whatever it is or

maybe not your house if you're married but maybe to to your hotel room or something i don't understand

why you had to go to a men's room in an airport of all places i mean usually like airports are

like really, really young. They have really nasty bathrooms. I can't imagine, uh, getting

a handjob in a men's bathroom in a, in a, in an airport, but for whatever, you know,

whatever, whatever floats your boat, buddy. Um, so yeah, the, the, the guy here, you know,

80 years old and, uh, 80 years, or maybe he's not 80 years old. I don't know how old he

is. He's not 80. I'm stupid. Uh, but anyway, uh, his mugshot also, I've been looking at

his mugshot here and I must say the very, very poor, uh, poorly taken mugshot. You

You would think you'd take a clue with the rest of the politicians who've been arrested lately.

You're supposed to smile and look as good as possible in your mugshot,

so it can't really be used against you.

Like, for example, who was that Speaker of the House or whatever that got arrested?

I forget the cat's name now. I'm drawing a blank.

I should know. I feel like an asshole for not knowing.

You know what I'm talking about. Not Tom Ridge.

That was the idiot from Pennsylvania who became the idiot in DHS.

Anyway, you know what I'm talking about.

anyway got arrested he took his picture uh tom feeney i think that's right anyway he took his

picture and uh and you know he he did like a really nice looking smiling had his makeup on

and everything you know and uh mel gibson got arrested for saying anti-semitic stuff and he

you know smiling looking all handsome as he always does is only just as only a george clinton did i

say george clinton seriously mel gibson mel gibson as mel only mel gibson can so you know now you

can't use that against him if you're going to run for election again you know run for office

because I'm pretty certain he's not going to.

Apparently, several Republicans, including Senator John McCain,

have called for him to resign his seat in the Senate.

That's something, man.

So will he stay?

Probably not.

He already stepped down today from all his different committees and whatnot.

But anyway, I wanted to play this audio here, a direct source from, of course,

our secret source out there in the media, The Arm.

The Arm has been out there, and he got this secret audio here.

You probably heard it already.

He wasn't able to keep it.

Speaking of which, how did the media not catch on for, like, June 11th, July 11th, August 11th, two and a half months?

How did, like, nine, ten weeks go by without the media catching any wind of this arrest?

I don't understand.

That's kudos to the arresting officer and the police jurisdiction there where he was arrested in Minneapolis.

Minneapolis. Kudos to the Minneapolis Police Department, Minneapolis Airport Police, whoever is responsible for that, for not letting it get out.

They did their job. You can't say they didn't give them preferential treatment.

As you will hear in our exclusive audio coming up right now, here is the interrogation of Senator Larry Craig.

Are you in court?

No.

No. I'm not going to go to court unless you want me there.

I don't want to be in court either.

Okay. I don't either.

Here's the way it works.

you'll be released today

I know I can bring you to jail

but that's not my goal here

let's not do that

I'm not going to bring you to jail

you solicited me

we can get into that

but there's two ways

you can go to court

you can plead guilty

there will be a fine

you won't have to explain anything

and you pay a fine and you leave

that's it, done

or if you want to plead not guilty

and I can't make these decisions for you

No, no, just tell me where I am because if you go not guilty, I need to make this apply.

Okay, and then I go to, if you go to not guilty, then I would have to come to court and I would have to testify the way I saw it.

So those are the two things, okay?

Does that explain that for you?

Yes.

Okay.

I'm just going to read you a ratio real quick, okay?

You got it on?

Yep.

Okay.

Is 6-11-07 at 1228 hours?

Yes.

Do you have the rate for me?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I missed it.

He said he is 79, so it was only a year off of that.

Is that correct?

I'm sure it's out here in this article.

I just don't feel like hunting down for the numbers now.

Those are the two things.

Did I explain that part?

Yes.

Okay.

I'm just going to read you your rates real quick, okay?

You got it on?

Yes.

Okay.

I couldn't hear.

Whatever.

He's old.

6-11-07 at 1228 hours.

Mr. Craig?

Yes.

You have the right to remain silent.

Anything you say can or will be used against you in court of law.

You have the right to talk to a lawyer now or have a lawyer present now or ain't.

I don't know why I paused that.

I hit the wrong button.

My bad.

And during questioning, if you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be pointed to you without cost.

Do you understand each of these rates?

Have I explained them to you?

I do.

Do you wish to talk to us at this time?

I do.

Okay.

I just want to start off with your side of the story, okay?

I go into the bathroom here as I normally do.

I'm a commuter too here, okay?

I sit down, go to the bathroom, and you said our feet bumped.

I believe they did because I reached down and scooted over.

And the next thing I knew, under the bathroom divider comes a card that says police.

Okay, so a picture, if you will.

No, I'm kidding.

But seriously, though, I mean, we'll listen to more of this if you guys don't mind.

I have only heard about half of it.

I basically got out of work, came straight here, set up the show, and started the show.

I haven't heard all of this audio yet.

I heard what was played during my lunch break on NBC News,

and I only heard about the beginning of it because I was, I don't like the local news.

I don't like the news that much, like, you know, nightly news and the local news.

I kind of stay away from it.

Anyway, apparently he was tapping his foot, which is supposedly a sign of the gays in the bathrooms.

That's how they have the sex in the bathrooms.

They tap their feet, apparently.

You know, I think I've tapped my foot in the bathroom.

I'm sure I tap my feet all the time.

I always fidget.

So I'm kind of worried that I might be in some trouble here doing that.

And, you know, I'm just afraid that maybe a cop has come close to arresting me just because I was fidgeting.

So, apparently, he actually moved his foot over to touch his foot, though.

That's kind of gay, man.

I guess he says he has a wide stance.

Now, picture, if you will, he has a wide stance on the shitter, so wide that his feet are actually touching the guy in the stall next to him.

I mean, this guy is, like, really, I mean, he must have been, like, he's got some serious constipation.

But we will continue.

And keep in mind, this guy, he says he visits this airport every week, once a week.

That's about as far as I can take it.

I don't know of anything else.

Your foot came toward mine.

Mine came toward yours.

Was that natural?

I don't know.

Did we bump?

Yes, I think we did.

You said so.

I don't disagree with that.

You didn't have a pissy match here.

We're not going to.

Good.

Is that proper for a cop to say, don't get in a pissy match?

I guess it's not that bad.

He seemed to take it okay.

He wasn't offended like, oh, I'm a senator.

How could you speak to me like that?

I don't, I am not gay.

I don't do these kind of things.

It doesn't matter.

I don't care about sexual preference.

I'm a Republican.

Anything like that gives you stuff back here.

I don't care about sexual preference.

I know you don't.

You're out to enforce the law.

Right.

But you shouldn't be out to entrap people either.

This is an entrapment.

All right.

You're skipping some parts here, but what about your hand?

What about it?

I reached down like this.

There was a piece of paper on the floor.

I picked it up.

Okay.

but about my hand.

I'm not being truthful with me.

I'm kind of disappointed in you, sir.

I'm really disappointed right now.

I'm not.

Just so you know,

just like everybody,

I treat with dignity.

I try to pull them away from the situation.

I'm not embarrassed.

I appreciate that.

And you did that after,

and I know that battle is the story

the first time I've had so far

has told me the truth.

We've been respectful to each other,

and then they've gone on their way.

He's kind of snooty, this cop.

He's got some balls.

He sounds young.

He sounds a little femme himself.

I think they put him on special assignment.

I think he has gaydar.

He's like a gay sniffing dog.

Okay, now that's something I've never done.

I've never put my hand under the divider.

Now, that takes a lot of explaining, because he didn't just reach down to grab paper like he's saying.

And he actually, you know, they say he ran his fingers along the other side.

That's really weird.

I mean, he must have been really, like, grabbing on to the sides of the stall with a wide stance.

And he must have been like, I got to take a big shit.

Like, I mean, he must have been like, you know.

I took a big shit.

Something like that.

Seriously, there's no excuse for it.

There's no excuse.

You know, poor guy.

People that lie to us every day.

I'm sure you do.

And sure you do, too, gentlemen.

So do I.

I'm sure you do.

We deal with a lot of people that are very bad people.

He's not a bad person.

No, I don't think I am.

So what I'm telling you is I don't want to be lied to.

Okay.

Okay?

So let's start over.

You're going to get out of here.

You're going to have to pay a fine, and that'll be it.

Okay?

I don't call media.

I don't do any of that type of crap.

I just want to point out, he just told them, and I want everybody to pay attention to this.

You know, if you ever get pulled over by a cop, a lot of you, most of my listeners are younger than I am,

So I take some precedence in trying to educate you and some stuff.

When you get pulled over by a cop, and let's say you've been drinking,

or I don't know, well, not if you're drinking, you're pretty much fucked.

But if you have, let's say you have some marijuana in your car or something like that,

you don't ever give out any more information than you have to, number one.

Number two, you can be guilty as shit, and you never, ever, ever say you're guilty.

it doesn't matter he these cops are paid to like play you psychologically and they will make you

like they'll say look man you know i'm gonna let you out with just a fine you're not gonna get

anything on your record just answer my questions be honest with me and answer my questions i want

you to understand a cop on his level can't make those decisions maybe the da can make that decision

uh but but not not the cop just to let you know that cop's lying to you he's just getting you

you to admit whatever he's going to get you to admit so he can, yeah, bend you over and

stall and hit it. Anyway, we'll continue listening, and we'll listen how this dumbass senator

for as smart as he is to be a senator, and he's a very well-spoken man, but you never

ever admit guilt, and you never ever like, you know, the guy, he admitted guilt. He pled

guilty to these charges. I mean, there's no, I think that's what has most of the Republicans

pretty much given up on him at this point and say, hey, he admitted guilt. If he admitted

You don't make guilt if you're not guilty, right?

This cop kind of played him, though.

It's interesting to listen to.

We continue now.

Fine.

Okay?

Fine.

All right, so let's start from the beginning.

You went in the bathroom.

I went in the bathroom.

And then what did you do?

I waited.

I stood beside the wall waiting for a stall to open.

I got in the stall, sat down, and I started to go to the bathroom.

That's all he has to say.

From here on out, he shouldn't answer any of the cops' questions.

That's all the guy's got to say.

Did our feet come together?

Apparently, they did bump.

Ah, you see?

See, you see, you see, you see what I mean?

You've already started.

When I got out of the stall, I noticed other stalls were open.

They were at the time.

At the time I entered, I stood and waited.

You could have sat wherever you want in the toilet, in the bathroom, right?

There's no rule that you can't sit next to somebody.

I guess there's a rule now, everybody, ladies and gentlemen,

never sit down in a toilet stall next to someone else if there's other stalls available.

I think that should be a rule if you're in a movie theater.

This one time I was in a movie theater in the back, in the back of the movie theater,

the back row, with my ex, with my old lady, my old old lady, my dead lady, and, um, this,

this, there was, you know, half the movie theater, if not more, was empty, and this

dude, this weird, creepy-looking white dude, um, he looked like the senator, he sat down,

like, right next to me, like, one seat over from me.

I'm like, dude, what the fuck?

Like, I think maybe he thought we were gonna, like, you know, like, I don't know, give

give each other handies, and he was going to get to watch or join in.

You know, white people are sick.

This is another example of a creepy white guy right here.

He's a fucking sinner.

He's a creepy white guy.

They were all busy, you know.

Were you late at any of your waiting?

I see your eyes.

I see you plant your fingers and look up.

Plant your fingers.

Did I glance at your stall?

I was glancing at a stall right beside yours, waiting for a fellow to empty it.

I saw him stand up, and therefore I thought it was going to empty.

Okay.

How long do you think you stayed up at the stalls?

Well, a minute or two at the most.

You went in the stalls that month.

Did you do anything with your feet?

Position them?

I don't know.

I don't know at the time.

I'm a fairly wide guy.

I tend to spread my legs when I lower my pants so they won't slide.

Okay.

Wait a minute.

I'm sorry.

I cut that out for my gay laughter.

Let's go back to that.

For yours, did I sit down?

Okay.

Did you do anything with your feet?

Position them?

I don't know.

I don't know at the time.

I'm a fairly wide guy.

I tend to spread my legs when I lower my pants.

so they won't slide.

Okay?

Did I...

Okay.

Gotcha.

...slide them too close to yours?

Did I look down once your foot was close to mine?

You know the scene in Austin Powers

where the dude gets...

When Austin, he's being choked from behind

from that Irish guy,

whatever his name was.

He had the Lucky Charms,

but it was like,

everyone's after my Lucky Charms or whatever.

Forgot the name of the guy.

The Irish villain who was in that, he would choke people with the necklace with his Lucky Charms on it.

And he's choking Austin Powers from behind.

He comes out of the wall, and Austin's sitting in the toilet dropping a deuce.

And all that Tom Arnold, the character played by Tom Arnold next to him,

sees is Austin Powers' legs going back and forth as wide as possible.

It looks like it's a woman spread eagle and convulsing.

I can just imagine him doing that.

Yes.

Did we bump?

You said so.

I don't recall that, but apparently we were close.

Well, your foot didn't touch mine.

I'm sorry.

It's all right.

And then with the hand.

How many times did you put your hand into the stall?

I don't recall.

I remember reaching down once.

There was a piece of toilet paper back behind me and picking it up.

Okay.

Was your palm down or up when you were doing that?

I don't recall.

I recall your palm being up.

All right.

Let me pick a piece of paper up.

Your palm would be down.

Yeah, probably would be.

I recall picking the paper up.

And I know it's hard to describe here on tape,

but actually what I saw was your fingers come underneath this doll,

so you're actually touching the bottom of this doll's leg.

I don't recall that.

I don't believe I did that.

I saw your left hand, and I could see the gold lining when I went across.

I could see that on your left hand.

I could see that.

Wait a moment.

My left hand was over here.

I saw there's a...

My right hand was next to you.

I could tell it was your left hand because your thumb was positioned in a faceward motion.

Your thumb was on this side, not on this side.

Well, we can dispute that.

I'm not going to fight you in court.

And I reached down with my right hand to pick up the paper.

What I'm telling you is I could see that, so I know it was your left hand.

Also, I could see a gold ring on this finger.

So it's obvious it was a left hand.

Okay.

My left hand was in the direct opposite of the stall from you.

You travel through here frequently, right?

I do.

Almost weekly.

You see, why would you say that?

That's only raising suspicion.

They're like, dude, man, you come in here every week and you sit down in the toilet and you have sex with men.

And you're a fucking senator, dude?

What the hell is wrong with you, man?

I mean, this guy is, like, really closeted, man.

I mean, he's got some issues.

That's some really freaky stuff, man.

You don't think about senators hooking up in bathrooms in the airport.

This is weird, man.

That is creepy, weird, dirty white people stuff, man.

Have you been successful in these bathrooms here before?

I go to that bathroom regularly

I mean for any type of other reason

No, absolutely not

I don't see

You're a successful

Activity in bathrooms

Embarrassing

Well, it's embarrassing for both of us

This cop

I know you're not going to fight me

This cop is a trip

He just goes

That's embarrassing

What an ass this cop

Yeah, I think the senator did this

But this cop was an ass to him too, man

I go to that bathroom regularly

I mean for any type of other reason

No, absolutely not

I don't seek activity in bathrooms.

Embarrassing.

Well, it's embarrassing for both.

I'm not going to fight you.

I know you're not going to fight me, but that's not the point.

I would respect you, and I still respect you.

I don't disrespect you, but I'm disrespected right now,

and I'm not trying to act like I have all kinds of power or anything,

but you're sitting here lying to a police officer.

Wow.

Hold on.

Pack your guns, everybody.

Mr. Officer is upset.

He's not playing here now.

This is something, dude.

I'm not trying to act like I have all kinds of power or anything.

But you're sitting here lying to a police officer.

It's not a testament that I'm getting from somebody else.

Did I do this?

I trained and I know what I'm doing.

Did I?

And I saw you put your hand under there and you're going to sit there.

I admit I put my hand down.

You put your hand and rubbed it on the bottom of the stall with your left hand.

Now, wait a moment.

And I'm not dumb.

You can say I don't recall.

If I had turned sideways, that was the only way I could get my left hand over there.

Why would you want to pick up a piece of toilet paper on the floor, man?

You don't want to touch that.

You don't know what they did to that, you know?

They might have dropped it when they took a shit.

It might have been stuck on the bottom of their feet while they walked through the bathroom.

That bathroom maybe has run over and it's got urine on the floor.

You know it doesn't smell good in an airport bathroom.

You got every nasty tourist person inside an airport like that, man.

Man, you get some nasty foreigners and European,

there's a lot of Russian kind of country guys in there.

Man, they're nasty, man.

And we're going to be starting, like, the Hajis and stuff.

All right.

I see it happen every day.

Nasty Hajis.

Every day off your home.

No?

Okay.

You do.

I guess I'm going to say I'm just disappointed in you, sir.

I just really am.

I expect this from the guy that we get out of the hood.

I mean, people vote for you.

Yes, they do.

Unbelievable.

And I'm a respectable person, and I don't do these kinds of things.

And I do respect right now, though, but I didn't use my left hand.

No, he didn't use his left hand.

That's what he said before, anyway.

They do.

And I'm a respectable person, and I don't do these kinds of things.

And I do respect right now, though, but I didn't use my left hand.

I wipe with my left hand.

I roll down with my right hand like this to pick up a piece of paper.

Was your gold ring on your right hand at any time today?

Of course not.

Try to get it off.

Look at it.

Okay, then it was your left hand.

I saw it on my own eyes.

All right, you saw something that didn't happen.

Why would he say try to get it off?

You can't, stupid.

Why would you say, oh, I switched that to my other finger?

It doesn't matter how implausible it is, man.

You get yourself a good lawyer to fight it out, man.

And any lawyer could have made that completely silenced, and it would not have come out.

But he fucked up.

And it did for a while, from like two and a half months.

That's amazing.

I can't believe that they didn't make it out in the news before that.

Fuck.

And the direct opposite of the stall for me.

You're sitting here lying to a police officer.

That was the only way I could get my left hand over there.

Not that hard for me to reach.

Or I answer that.

It's not that hard.

I see it happen every time.

Okay.

I guess I'm going to say I'm just disappointed in you, sir.

I just really am.

I expect this from the guy that we get out of the hood.

I mean, people vote for you.

Yes, they do.

Unbelievable.

And I'm a respectable person, and I don't do these kinds of things.

And I do respect right now, though.

But I didn't use my left hand.

I rolled down with my right hand like this to pick up a piece of paper.

Was your gold ring on your right hand at any time today?

Of course not.

Try to get it off.

Look at it.

Okay, then it was your left hand.

I saw it with my own eyes.

All right, you saw something that didn't happen.

Embarrassing.

What's going on?

Wow, he really pushed to get him to sign off right there.

But I don't know at what point did he plead guilty.

I hope there's tapes of when he pled guilty at some point.

That's what I want to hear.

It's going to be good.

Good radio.

Good TV, too.

A senator, man, for real?

God damn it, what's going on?

Jeez.

I know I see Milkman isn't around yet.

We can try to call Milkman, everybody.

You guys want to try to call Milkman?

Just for him not being on tonight, I want you all to know his real name is Larry.

Lerold. I kid you not, his real first name is Lerold.

And he goes by Larry. That's Milkman's real name.

Thank you, everybody, for listening tonight.

We're going to do some prank calls now. We've had enough of that.

That was the only news that we get tonight.

Nothing else really happened. What else happened?

There were some fires in Greece, and, oh, yeah, Alberto Gonzalez resigned.

Whoop-de-doo.

So we're going to call the Metropolitan Airports Commission at the Lindbergh Terminal in the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport.

A woman answered saying, airport fire and police.

Nah, nah, you know, lonesome loser, that's a good idea, but no.

I think they might be paying extra attention to things like that on a night like tonight, my friend.

Maybe a store in the airport, but I'm not about to call the airport fire and police that arrested the guy

and pull some kind of joke about me being in the toilet or something.

But whatever.

Anyway, Nunu is sending in a number for a Tracy Proch now.

Her daughter keep wearing some dumbass Christian t-shirt to school,

and they don't allow any logs or anything.

Here's that nigga Milkman.

You son of a bitch.

Milkman.

Hey, man, you're on the air.

What's going on?

What happened?

Why aren't you calling into the show?

What's the big fucking deal, man?

What?

Wait, let's talk.

Are you listening online?

line oh you just got in i just noticed you haven't called in for like you idiot i turned you on now

go back to the line you get that torque man torque there's a lot of torque that's true man that's

good that stuff does that stuff gets all your crevices man there's nothing better you get you

get some scott towel and you sand the shit out of your asshole man it feels good yeah it is i don't

like that aloe shit that aloe shit's gay i like to rip my asshole i'm such a man hey milkman would

Would you, Milkman, quiet, hey, hey, go back to talk to you, man.

I got the QRM on this, you know what I mean?

Me, me, me, me, me, whatever.

Milkman's coming back any second now here.

He finally decided to call in and act like I'm an asshole for talking about toilet talk.

I've been on the line, you just haven't ever come back and answered.

Why didn't you call me?

I told you, you call me, you answer the phone when I call you and you come on because I'll be watching.

I wasn't, I lose, I...

When you called Digital Roam, I couldn't...

Digital Roam, my dick.

Yeah, man, I could not answer.

Digital Rome.

Yeah, when I called back, I got beaten voicemail, so I called direct in a talk show.

Whatever.

And then I, like, interrupted toilet talk there or something like that.

Something like that.

Okay, here.

Well, we have the number for the Hilton Minneapolis St. Paul Airport.

All right, man.

My name isn't Larry anyway, you idiot.

It's Lerald.

I don't know why you'd tell anybody that.

It's Lerald.

Lerald.

So my name is...

No, my name is Frank.

Frank.

Frank what?

Frank Roosevelt.

Roger Franklin.

Yeah, I'm John Thomas.

My real name is John Thomas.

No, it isn't.

It's Arnold.

No, it isn't.

So they can say it good.

It's Arnold fucking Palmer, asshole.

Get it straight.

We're going to call the Hilton Minneapolis-St. Paul Airport.

I don't think they're at the airport, you know, milkman.

I think they're just in the area, so they call themselves the Hilton for the...

What was that name?

I don't know that.

My God, I got to pay for a wheelchair.

That's right.

That is the senator who was a gay, man.

Yeah, you didn't hear about the gay senator?

You don't have any TV, do you?

Well, no.

See, you're in the Virgin Islands.

Well, here in America, this senator guy, he propositioned an undercover police officer for sex in a bathroom in the Minneapolis-St. Paul airport.

And he's a Republican senator, and he pled guilty, and he just came out in the news like this week.

That's the news.

When was this?

It came out, I think, Monday or Tuesday, I think, and it's been compressing itself on and on.

It's been snowballing.

Really?

Yeah, I think it came out on Tuesday.

I think Monday night was when it got broken, and now it's just, like, snowballing.

It's gotten really crazy.

Really, really crazy.

Hey, public.

Yes, that's real.

Welcome to the party.

Very good.

Hey, I may say you sound extra shitty tonight, man.

It's awesome having you on the air, my friend.

Oh, thank you, man.

I just got out of the toilet, though.

Ellie says hello, I'm sure.

Sure, Ellie's in the chat room, man.

Hey, Ellie, Ellie.

Yeah, and I'll tell you who else is there.

I'd like to say hello to all my friends and haters out there.

This is Roger Frank, a.k.a. Hulk.

But I'm trying to get my CSL locating there.

Obviously, he has the E1 line, the coconut one.

Yeah, right.

You have to, like, reserve a spot.

Turd one.

The turd one line is what you got.

Right, yeah.

You actually have to get in line, and they have to, like, authorize it.

And then come down and look at your spot and blah, blah, blah.

Okay, good.

Well, hey, man, I hope you get your DSL, your dick-sucking-lips down as soon as possible.

All right, man, good luck with that.

Yeah, man, I need to get that dick-sucking-lips working again.

Yes, sir.

Stopping.

I don't know, not soon.

My lips, I have very thin lips for a Puerto Rican man.

I'm not talking about you.

Hey, man.

You already got a boyfriend.

Oh, yeah, you are.

Who told you?

Who told you Athena is really Al?

No, but really, man, if you are within listening range, I sure do, man.

and she had, like, to come over and just all the years.

Oh, yeah, you don't know.

We're not on PCU anymore for the time being.

We've been fired off.

We've been kicked off of PCU officially by KDK.

KDK kicked us off.

He said he doesn't want to work with us anymore, and he kicked us off.

So we're off of a – Ted isn't in charge anymore.

I don't know what's going on.

It sucks, man.

I miss Ted.

Yeah, Ted's not – oh, Ted's back.

I love KDK.

I told you Ted was gone.

Ted came back.

Milkman.

Milkman, listen.

Ted is back now.

Anyway, Ted came back.

He is?

Yes, he is.

He came back.

Okay, what's going on?

McMahon, speed me up here, dude.

No one cares.

This is an international show.

We don't deal with that drama.

I don't know.

He's back.

He said he wants to contribute.

He's back.

That's all it is.

And Ellie says hi.

Ellie says, yeah, she sent in a number from a catalog company that keeps calling her on her cell phone.

Anyway, Milkman, seriously, we need to do the first prank call of the night.

To the Hill, Minneapolis, St. Paul Airport.

Yeah.

Yes sir, whatever you say

We're on demand

Hey, Milkman

Milkman, what's that?

That's right, it's the time to do a call

Hang on everybody, we're going to come right back with the first prank call of the night

Touch me, like, between the stars

Someone touch me in the bathroom between the stars

Hotel?

Please

Any ideas, Milkman?

Flash discovery kit

License, terms and conditions apply

Whoop always wants us to play a dude.

Johnny Rebel.

man.

Look, man.

Milkman isn't even on the frickin' line.

Son of a bitch, I'm talking to myself.

Let me give this another 30 seconds before we give up.

Hey Milkman, you're back. Hey Milkman, you're back.

Yeah, shit.

Stupid phone, man. You live in such a...

Ah, man.

Your phone sucks, man. You suck. Everything you touch turns to shit.

Hey, interrupt.

man man you sound like crap on talk show on the phone on on the computer everything you type like

crazy everything you communicate just goes i'm tired of this milkman

jeez what's that a bunch of gay music on there man maybe they didn't take us seriously

look man what happened okay did somebody like shoot in the cell and then we got transferred

Nothing happened.

We were going to transfer to the manager, and the manager never came on the line.

Waste of time.

Saigon says DTT listens to this music.

I think he does, man.

DTT is like,

He said he does shit.

You know what I haven't heard in a long time is that Punjabi music, man.

How about play it over?

We talking.

DTT has the tape.

Yes, sir.

You know that Punjabi shit?

Yeah, yeah, man.

DTT, for real, I think he would get it on to this.

music he'll play this to have sex yeah well we're gonna we're gonna do a prank call

we're calling the mall of america everybody minneapolis st paul apparently this is close

to the airport as well one moment please we're gonna have dtt calling everybody stand by he's

gonna he's gonna speak about these allegations against him that saigon has made saigon is

apparently done a lot of bad things and we're just finding out that saigon apparently we have

approved that he hacked PCU, and that's why

we can't be on PCU tonight, everybody.

So we're going to get to the bottom of this tonight.

I have guns ready for you.

Anyway, we'll see if DTT joins. It's taking too long.

He's a retard. He's gone. Well, yeah, apparently

we're being told that DTT has hacked us off

the PCU network, and we can't be on because

of DTT. DTT said he wants

to call in to clear this up. We

wait. We wait for DTT to join

us, and please clear the air on this. He's listening right

now, so DTT, we challenge you. If you're a man,

if you're a man,

you will call me. Anyway, continuing

Continuing on, we're going to do another prank call to the Mall of America at the Hilton Airport.

I didn't know the Hilton Airport was part of the Mall of America.

Son of a bitch.

That's the biggest fucking mall ever, milkman.

You know, that airport apparently serves just the Mall of America.

It's so big.

Crazy, man.

Crazy.

We're right back with that prank call in a moment.

Airport Mall of America, this is Eliza.

How may I direct your call?

May I ask you a question?

I have public bathroom's inside.

I do.

I'm thinking how long, how long am I allowed to sit in there?

Stall.

82 pounds is what I'm asking.

There's standard and there's standard type EE.

Type EE.

Hold comfortably.

That's the sign.

Can you ask the architect?

I have an architect on the site.

Who's the man?

Is that a woman Jessie or a man Jessie?

No.

Oh, so even better.

Talk to him please.

One second.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

You can help customize your day.

Here comes the manager, everybody.

Is this new feature on?

Jesse, I heard the launching.

Sorry?

This is Jack Rasmussen.

How are you, sir?

This is who?

Rasmussen, sir.

Yes, sir.

I weigh 482 pounds, and I require a bathroom with handicapped access type EE, which is

the larger size.

Shower?

Huh?

Shower?

What's in the size?

I was in the most recent addendum to the Persons with Disabilities Act.

I was supposed to have one room like that with a refrigerator for my insulin also.

Reservation with us tonight, sir?

Yes, and it's totally unacceptable that I don't get my large-sized bathroom and a refrigerator for my insulin.

Sir, I weigh 482 pounds and I have type 3 diabetes.

Yes, sir, and what's your last name?

My name is Masterson, sir, Masterson.

Are you already checked into the hotel?

Sir, I tried to check and they can't show me the room. This is unobtrusive.

Sir, you don't understand. I'm in the room right now. I'm in the hallway. They're treating me like crap.

Where are you, sir?

My wheelchair is running low in the second floor, sir.

Second floor? I don't have any rooms on my second floor, sir. Are you calling the right hotel?

Yes, sir. I am. They showed me the room. It's a size EE.

It's supposed to be a size E-E-W with a refrigerator for my insulin, and it doesn't have it.

I'm a human.

The second floor, you twit.

You slag.

You do this to me.

You're a slag.

He's like, getting up.

I'm smarter than you, sir.

Legit.

Feeling.

You're funny.

You son of a-

I'm gonna be getting off the-

Is this the-

Is this the end?

I love Jack Masterson, man.

Oh, man, I love that.

Oh, man.

I think this is DTT.

The name says something that looks really, you know, it sounds like it has a yuck in it, you know?

DTT, there is, Andy's here, and he said he has proof that you're the reason we're not on PCU tonight, man.

You know what, fuck you, Andy, okay?

I'll talk to him.

No, he says you're hacking, he says you're hacking, man.

I'm not.

Q, fuck you, DTT.

He says fuck you, dude, and what are you going to say about that?

Nothing.

We were saying something about you, but I forgot what it was, man.

Oh, wait, what do you think about the senator who's a gay in the bathroom?

room isn't that nasty man it makes me sick you know that's close to where you live there in

chicago no in detroit oh yeah what's even closer right you're in detroit right yeah aren't you

right next to me i know you're next to minneapolis and shit yeah this guy this guy hey she's man

we're engaged you know yeah how's life yeah it's good we're gonna get married you're invited cool

so i hope you come but no yeah we're doing good man i'm going to school and i'm working i got a

a new job and shit, so, yeah, man, it's good, DTT, man, it's good to talk to you, Milkman,

how's everybody, Milkman's good, Milkman doesn't have any internet, but he's on the, on the

talk show network, you can't hear him, but he can hear you, as usual, and, and, yeah,

and, man, I have fun, KDK, KDK kicked us off the air, man, fuck, he kicked us off, he said

we suck, and, for real, yeah, yeah, we're only on my own, have my own station now, I

I guess I have to.

You know what, Carlito?

Try Dino.

Dino?

Yeah, I need a good word with that cat.

I don't know much about him, man.

He's a real good guy.

If you be along with him and all that crap, I'm going to talk to Dino.

Tell him to listen tonight, man.

We're having a good show so far.

We're doing prank calls, man.

Okay, talk to Dino, you know?

Big Dino.

Dino at?

He's a boy, right?

Yeah, well, what's his email, man?

Dino at what?

Dino at?

He's at CK.

CK.

Dot nut or something like that.

Dot something.

Dot nut.

Yeah, man, I'll check it out, man.

You tell those people over there, listen to Madhouse,

and even if they don't want us on the air, at least they can listen to us.

If we just got listeners, I don't care, man.

It'd be good to be on that show.

Is Matthew Gollar?

No, I haven't.

He's been, I've been busy, and I haven't seen him around.

I've only been online tonight, all week.

That's why you told me, because they kicked you out, huh?

Yeah, yeah, they kicked us out.

KDK said he doesn't want to work with us no more,

and he said that he wants to do his own thing, and, you know, we're cool.

You know, Ted's not in charge anymore.

he fired us the minute he got in charge, so, yeah, who, uh, KDK kicked us off, he said,

he said, fuck you to me, he said that I don't like him because he's a gay, and I said, that's

not true, you know, I don't care about that, but KDK doesn't like me, man, good, man, Earthdog,

make, let us know, man, you know, we got love for you, and you're down with, you're down with

2 Live Crew, hey, man, DTT, man, this is your chance to say hi to all your fans real quick,

We're going to move on

Say what's up to everybody

Real quick

What's up guys

Alright all DTT's fans

You can email

DTT at DTT.net

Alright man

Take care of yourself bro

Dude Carlito

Are you serious man

Or no

No

Tune in to PC

I'm not even online

They turned off the whole thing

They kicked us off

I'm going to

Talk to Dino

I'm going to say that

Okay I'm going to call him

Right now

Yeah tell him to go to

Madhouselive.com

And we're live

And whatever man

Alright man

Whatever man

Hey take care of yourself

Just tell people

People, everybody you know, tell them, because if not, we're going to get canceled.

Dr. Legos is going to kick me off the air, too, man.

Son of a bitch.

Where are you?

Where's Dr. Legos?

He's on the mouth.

Okay, I'm going to, I'll talk to you.

All right, bro, I'll talk to you later, man.

Hey, tell Dino, man, we need it.

Okay.

All right, DTT's on it, everybody, DTT.

Okay, hang up the phone, Carlito.

DTT, son of a bitch.

DTT is fueling up the jet right now, everybody.

He's on it.

Motherfuckers.

Yes, sir.

All right, folks, the next, man, you really hate Texas, don't you, man?

Man, you must really have a problem with Texans.

Oh, man, I love that ranch.

I want to go straight to the ranch.

Recklood likes to call in.

Recklood might call in soon.

Say you want to do a two-hour shit.

Nina said we should have said we wanted to do a two-hour shit.

That's funny.

I'm going to take a two-hour shit.

That would have been funny.

I'm going to take a two-hour shit, folks.

All right, anyway, we're going to come back with another prank call.

This is to the Hampton Inn in the Minneapolis-St. Paul Airport.

report. We're going to just talk to these people, you know,

taking the two-hour shit now. Hang on, folks.

This ain't no madhouse radio.

Motherfucker.

I don't know what I was doing with that, but the asshole

at least could have been nice enough to respond to my

term. Come on, Tim.

Yeah, man.

Yeah, man. Yeah, Ted is

saying he wants to call in.

Damn it. Why doesn't Ted...

He's calling on his Skype phone, right?

I don't think that's why he's never... I think that's why he's never

able to get through. Jonathan's on the line,

though, everybody. We're saved by Jonathan.

Jonathan, you're on the air.

What's going on, buddy?

What's up, Carlitos?

Hey, Jonathan, what's going on, man?

What's good for C.J.O.?

Yeah, man, it's a good show tonight.

Hey, Emmy Rose never got a hold of me, man.

What's up with that?

Yeah, we've been trying to make up our mind on what we want to do,

but don't worry, we did not forget about you.

Well, that's good to know, man.

It was nice to hear from the old lady.

So is that really her picture on the website over there?

The gang, what is it, cheeseboys.net?

Lostboys.bravehose.com

Lost Boys with two Z's, right?

Right.

Of course, very easy.

Yeah, that's our picture.

Yeah, that's cool.

Hey, man, check it out, man.

It feels good.

You know why?

Because I don't work tomorrow.

I got tomorrow off, and Labor Day's on Monday.

You know what I'm saying?

Awesome.

Four-day weekend, man.

Four-day weekend.

So I'm going to go on until late tonight, son of a bitch.

I'm excited about it.

Jonathan, there's a lot of requests of people wanting you to prank call the U.K. with us.

Would you be able to do that for me?

Sure.

Oh, hell yeah.

Noonoo, now's your chance.

Now, Noonoo needs to remind me what he was supposed to have you do.

Noonoo.

Oh, man.

Yeah.

We've got numbers in the U.K. that Lonesome Loser has gotten for you.

And Jonathan keeps, Noonoo keeps suggesting that you do certain type of prank calls.

I can't remember what they are right now.

And I don't see him anywhere in the chat room at this time.

He wasn't in the old PCU room.

He was.

See, he knows.

He might tell you.

He's telling us now.

He's typing it in now what he wants you to say.

Hang on.

John, have Jonathan call UK now.

Now.

He said it twice in all caps.

Well, Nunu, you know, if you're listening, I'm saying I want him to call,

but I don't know what it is he's supposed to call about.

He had an idea.

Jonathan, what do you think you could call the UK?

What would you like to talk to them if you had an opportunity to?

What would be the first thing you want to talk to them about?

I'm not for sure because they don't pay attention to the UK.

No?

Oh, man.

If you could get a date with a mean mother.

Yeah, they were the Queen Mother.

Now, you don't even know who the Queen Mother is, do you?

Not really.

Okay.

Well, Nunu says he wants you to just call someone and say that you just want to say hi to your fans, all right?

You ready to do that, man?

Say that again, you broke up.

Okay, I'm sorry.

Nunu says you should call.

We're going to call a place in England, and you're just going to say that you want to say hi to all your fans, all right?

Okay.

Okay, that's all it is, man, just what we do with this all the time, all right?

We're going to call John Boner.

All right.

John Boner.

Now, are you on the, are you at the Yahoo right now?

Are you able to get my message if I send it to you?

Hang on, let me turn Trillium back on.

All right, turn Trillium back on, and then I will send you the details

so you know exactly who and where we're calling, okay?

While we do our prank calls, we talk back and forth like that.

Milkman, what do you think?

Awesome, awesome, that's what I said.

All right, so let me get the message out to you.

Anyway, everybody, listen to this while we call the U.K. with Jonathan.

Hang on, everybody.

This is Becky.

How can I help you?

Oh, yes, ma'am.

this affair is pete smith um i'm having a little trouble over here i went in today

and uh you go to the bathroom and they just saw them they used them like a stun gun yes

Yes, sir.

This here is Pete Smith.

Smith, I was just calling from Lafayette Radio and I would just like to say thank you to the listeners.

Hotel, sir?

Yes, sir.

Smith.

I'm in the hotel right now. I'm on the first floor.

No, you just called me and you said you were on the second floor. You just talked to me about two minutes ago.

No, I didn't call you. It wasn't different, but I never called in.

You're getting off the phone. You have a great evening.

Yeah, cheese boy. Cheese boy. Cheese boy. You told him, man.

Lonesome Loser is hooking us up with an international phone card here.

So we'll call one more American number here real quick.

Did you hear the one we did earlier with the old fat guy?

To place a call, press 1.

To listen to your recorded calls, press 2.

We're going to call WikiWiki Burgers, okay?

For customer service, press 0.

WikiWiki Burgers.

Okay.

Please enter the 10-digit...

KCU.

He did, that bastard.

He needs to prove himself.

I don't know.

Number here.

Let's see what's going on over here real quick, real quick, real quick.

We'll try a different hotel.

Did you want to try...

No, we're not going to call the cops over there.

For number three, Toad Suck Bucks.

I don't know what that...

We have the audio jerk here also.

I was kind of saving that for Recklood.

He's going to be calling later.

How about the Whoopin' Holler Ranch?

Whoopin' Holler Ranch.

That would be good.

That might be good.

All right, hang on.

Let's do that here.

I'm going to just whoop and holler at them, all right?

I said that to you in case you want to join in.

That's the information on them.

Hang on, everybody.

We're going to try that right now.

Yee-haw!

Tell them, Milkman.

Okay.

All right.

Tell them to you, John.

If I need jumping, I will.

All right.

I'm going to change our voices to sound like men.

Milkman.

Milkman, where's your brain?

Okay.

Is there a time?

Do you have, like, a lights-out time over there, man?

Lights out.

Do you have the lights out?

Lights out time.

Lights out something.

He's a son of a bitch.

Oh, you money.

Milkman, welcome back, bro.

Uh, man, it's really stagnating over here, huh, Jonathan?

I think there's a smell.

It smells like a sheet.

Yeah.

Hey, I know who we can call.

Do you still have that girl Samara's number?

You want to try calling her?

I'll change your voice to sound like a man if you'd like.

Or change it like a...

Yeah, you can do that.

I can do the call.

Okay, you do the call?

Well, whatever.

We'll figure it out.

Tell me for real, though.

What is the number?

I don't have it, my friend.

I wouldn't need the number right now.

I don't want to say it.

Can you take me off air real quick?

Oh, you can't text it to me?

All right, if you don't want to, yeah.

Let me take you off the air.

Everybody listen to this song.

here now all right let me just try to call this one for the hell of it you let me know if we'll

figure it out if it's her or not and i want to say welcome to dtt in the chat room man dtt what's

up keep it keep it real she's a dirty girl jonathan well i guess that's it all right hang on let me

clear that out take a break now's your chance to say hello your fans we really wanted you to do it

internationally but we don't have an international card tonight very sorry nunu very sorry yeah

Yeah, maybe next time.

Maybe next week.

All right, man.

I'd like to say hello to my fans and listeners,

and I hope you come join us all at Life Attack Radio for some major fun.

Yeah, Life Attack Radio?

Yeah, Life Attack Radio.

All right, man.

Take it easy, bro.

All right.

Happy Labor Day.

All right.

Hey, you too, man.

Whatever Labor Day means.

Milkman, Heart Attack Radio, everybody.

Milkman, what is Labor Day about?

Is that a day like you're supposed to work?

Why did we get the day off on Labor Day?

It makes no sense.

What's the deal?

Your hard laborers out there doing labor, but the laborer don't stop.

Exactly.

Exactly what Milkman says.

Even on the day off of the holiday that we have for no apparent reason, we are expected

for the honeydew to do labor.

I have been telling you all summer, I want you greatly.

Yeah.

Just taking a second here for ourselves.

Hey, Milkman, you messed up my high.

You know what I'm saying?

Everybody, just take it easy real quick.

You know, just take a breath.

You know, stretch in your pants.

Stretch your pants out.

Now, Ted is calling in.

Ted, everybody.

Ted.

Big Ted.

Ted on the line.

You, you, you.

Ted is on the line.

What's up, Ted?

Holy shit, I got...

Tom, you're using a landline tonight, right?

Wait, why?

So what's going on, my friend?

I'm trying to.

KDK, I'll tell you what happened because you're kind of in the dark.

It was like 3 o'clock in the morning, and KDK went into the chat room in the new PCU chat room while you had yours down.

And he was really abrasive and aggressive with me for no reason, and he's accusing me of being a homophobic and hating him.

and he used some rather harsh terms and language with me

and I took offense to it and I told him I don't, you know,

he said he doesn't want to be affiliated with me anymore

and I said, all right, that's fine, so I guess I'm doing my own thing

and I'm on the road now. We'll see where it takes me.

Well, you seem to be doing fine. I have no idea why he would do that.

That's fine. I don't have to be associated on his station. That's fine.

He said he wants to start his own new thing

and he wants to reinvent and re-pioneer radio on the Internet,

so I said, all right, I guess we're not involved with that. That's fine.

but we're still fine.

We still have, you know,

we've got like 17 people listening.

That's just fine with me.

It doesn't bother me.

I'm doing prank calls

and I'm having a good time.

It will grow eventually.

But it sucks, man.

It sucks that you're going.

What's up?

You said you need an international card.

Yeah, I did.

Do you still?

Yeah, yeah,

because I can do international numbers.

That's for sure.

I think there's something left.

I'm just going to type it to you.

Cool, message it to me.

We've got a bunch of numbers in the UK.

Any thoughts on the senator caught in the bathroom?

Is the topic du jour tonight?

night oh he was playing footsie under the he's praying uh he was having foot sex under the stall

and running his fingers up and down the uh the stall like under the underneath like the guy the

guy could actually see his gold ring you know there's no excuse for that you know what he was

doing he's he was trying to get some that's kind of sad though how do you lose control like he was

like pooping at the same time that he was doing this yeah isn't there some kind of in the brain

that won't let you think about sex i think there's anything like that at all to be honest

I've never heard of that before myself.

I think there's people actually...

I don't know, I think maybe it's just my brain that I can't...

There's a lot of people who are into stuff like hot plates

and whatever you want to call it,

those nasty fetish positions.

I can't say hot plate.

I've heard of hot plate.

I don't know exactly what it is.

Isn't that when a girl's underneath a glass table

and a guy shits on the table so she can see it or something like that?

I think that's called a hot plate.

I'm not sure.

Oh, my God, people are fucking crazy.

Well, there's the Cleveland Steamer, too.

Dude, that's when you just poop on the grill or something.

That's really nasty.

There's a bunch of stuff.

The Cleveland Street.

Well, you should have the phone card.

I do.

I do have the phone card.

Would you like to do a prank call?

We've got the UK waiting to be hit up here,

if you want to help us out.

Okay.

We've got Gay Construction.

Gay?

Is that the name of it?

That's the name, G-A-Y Construction.

Yeah, here in Orlando, there's gay plumbing.

There's a W-W Gay Plumbing.

The guy's name is W-W Gay, and he has a plumbing.

Okay, I guess this is gay as in happy.

We're all supposed to believe that that's what it means.

Oh, right.

Well, it's England.

You know, I don't think it means the same thing over there.

I think they call it something else.

I don't know.

Anyway, so gate construction, or we also have crackerjack fireworks.

We'll try that later.

Let's try gate construction first.

I'll let you take it, of course, as usual.

We'll take a break here.

I like to let people steer the ship, if you want to, for a little while.

Okay, Ted, hang on, man.

We're going to find something to play here.

We're playing this.

All right, hang on, bro.

Thanks.

Everybody, Ted and Carlito with some prank calls.

You know, test your self out, boys, and your local neighborhood robbers, they've got a switch.

Nengay Constructions, Flindy speaking.

You do plumbing?

We take the motion works, centers, and things like that, Brisbane Entertainment Center.

Right here.

What should I do?

Oh, no.

Yeah, we're not plumbers.

Oh, no.

Calling some.

No, no.

I think I've got it.

Oh, shit.

Oh, sure.

Come quickly.

Plumbing.

Well, you better do it now, won't you?

Because I'm in a right mess over here.

You say that we're not plumbers, we don't see...

You have the number of a plumber, do construction...

Where are you calling from?

I told you I'm calling from Robin.

Where's Robin?

Madam, madam, I have on good word that you folks installed these toilets in here.

Say what?

I have on good word that this is the outfit that installed these toilets in here.

Installed my toilet?

Absolutely they did.

Problem that I'm having.

The Van Goghs are soaked in water now.

I've got millions of paintings all over my home.

I was storing them for a museum, and now water is going towards them.

The Mona Lisa is ruined.

We had the Mona Lisa over here.

It's ruined now.

Well, it's not the real Mona Lisa.

It's a replica, right?

But it's ruined.

No, the other one is the replica, and this is the original.

Listen to what happens when I do this.

Okay, thanks.

See?

The water goes out, but then it doesn't go into the bowl.

It's the water going over the side of the bowl.

It's up to your neck.

There's definitely shit all over this room now.

Get me the squeegee.

I'll push the water back.

Look over there.

Get me the squeegee.

Two turns, right there in the corner.

I've got it.

Come over quickly.

I can only hold back the water for so long.

Bobbin.

Where?

Right outside London.

If we were plumbers, which we're not,

couldn't we come to help you?

Well, we're living in a globalized economy now, aren't we?

In the UK.

Toilets.

15.

Remaining on your card.

If you make a call,

1.

Purchase additional minutes.

Blah, blah, blah.

Press 2.

Directory assistance for numbers with...

Please enter the area code and phone number you wish to call now.

Just my luck.

For international calls, dial 011, the country code, city code, and phone number.

I didn't pay attention to the fact that that was Australia, not the UK.

Press the star key followed by your speed dial code now.

This lady doesn't stop talking, does she?

God damn, she's like...

Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam.

For domestic calls, call to Puerto Rico, the U.S. Virgin Islands,

Okay, we're calling Crack-A-Jack Fireworks.

This is in Australia, so...

17 minutes for this call.

Expensive.

I don't think we should be calling Australia.

Lonesome Loser has one on the way.

More than...

Too expensive, yeah.

I guess we'll stick to the UK then.

You have humors, though.

I did.

This one he sent me.

Here we go.

John Boner.

Is there someone there with you, or is there someone on the phone?

No, this is me and you.

You're talking.

No, I was talking to you.

I was mumbling.

I've got John Boner in England.

Liverpool, England.

John Boner.

That was a good call, though.

Lonesome Loser.

You're Ted, not Lonesome Loser.

Man, I'm having a weird night.

Anyway.

Wait, I've already forgotten about you.

You've been gone for a week and I forgot about you, man.

I know, I'm that memorable.

Silliness, silliness.

All right, hang on, everybody.

Have you heard from Jim Stewart at all?

That you...

Wanted to get a hold of you when I first found out about it, so...

I was interested in seeing if he got a hold of you.

He was quite bothered by the whole thing, so...

He's probably in a better mood now, if he knows.

Okay, hang on.

He saw what Dad called.

We're going to do John Boehner.

You ready?

All right, good.

Boehner.

You have other ways.

to say the person

wasn't available?

I'm sorry.

I thought it said

the messaging.

Whatever, whatever.

Okay.

Whatever, whatever.

Ooh, Chipper's Chalet.

What's a chalet?

It says it's a nursery.

Chalet, yeah.

It's not a place

where people go to die

of old age, I think.

It's sort of nursing.

I guess it's like

a housing complex.

I don't know.

There's a place called

A Lot Like Family Nursing.

We have a place like Eden.

What else do we have here?

The Chicken Cave

in Australia.

That's so expensive.

I remember we were

calling hotels about bathrooms.

That was kind of fun

for a while there.

um that's really like then you get the police downstairs the bathroom tapping their feet

that's some craziness jeez i just can't believe a senator would do that it just escapes me

how that's i remember that one bubba prank i did about the toilet down to investigate what was it

you said that people were flushing the toilet or what was it now what was going on i remember

thing about it started out with a noise complaint with women that's right that's right yeah that

That was the night that I had a really bad show, and I wasn't around the next night.

And you actually, like, you actually had success with the convention that we...

The conference.

Yeah, it was the, what was it, the lesbian convention or the feminist convention, right?

The feminist convention.

The feminist convention, yeah, yeah.

We totally bombed at it, and then you came back and you had those awesome pranks,

and I totally missed those.

Are those up anywhere?

You didn't put those up, did you, that call at all?

I don't know.

I'd have to, like, look on my hard drive somewhere.

That'd be cool to hear.

I'm not really good about saving all my pranks, unfortunately.

Well, you archive them, but you don't really organize them, is that the deal?

Yeah, I haven't, like, gone back and looked at them.

Oh, really? I do.

I try to, like, once a week, I do the show before, edit it out, find anything good, take it out,

and then put it up on a podcast.

It's really good.

I like doing pranks on other people's shows, because that way they can do all the work.

Have me do your dirty work.

I got you.

Cool, man.

Understand, understand.

Okay, we're going to call, that was not in England, we're going to call, god dang it, I don't know,

a place like Eden, a place like Eden.

Is it a restaurant?

I don't know.

A redneck guy answered there.

A place like Eden.

I have no idea.

It's MacArthur Street, Shawnee, Oklahoma.

A redneck guy in the U.K.?

No, this is actually in the States because we don't have any U.K. numbers yet.

Lonesome Loser will get some soon.

But, okay.

So a redneck guy in a place like Eden.

So a redneck guy is working at a restaurant that sounds like it belongs in a yuppie neighborhood.

Yeah, exactly.

Imagine that.

Maybe he's the dish guy.

I don't know.

Those are usually Mexicans.

They do the dishes anywhere, right?

It's usually my kind of people.

My people usually are washing the dishes in the back.

Don't worry.

Your people will inherit the United States.

Eventually.

White people aren't having babies.

We're like the rabbits taking over Australia, you know?

We're fucking like rabbits, and we're mating, and we're taking over in numbers.

Soon there will be no more kangaroos or joeys.

That damn Catholicism doesn't allow you guys to use birth control.

You got it, buddy.

Catholicism all the way.

Hang on, folks.

Next prank call of the night is coming right up.

This is Jack.

Jack, what are your hours?

That's what's amazing.

I'm sorry, I forgot to take that from you.

He just stopped talking, weirdo.

You know, he reminded me of that creepy gay character in Family Guy.

You ever watch that show?

You don't watch much TV, do you?

Yeah, I watch Family Guy.

Yeah, the old guy who sided whenever children come by his house.

Yeah, well, is it that?

Not the, not the really, I'm talking about the, the guy's like,

hi, you guys know, and you know what I mean?

He's like really, the gay guy.

Oh, the hippie dude.

The hippie, yeah.

You know what I'm talking about.

I guess it's the hippie guy.

That guy, yeah.

Hi, you're doing.

Oh, son of a gun.

So creepy.

Yeah, creepy white guy.

It's creepy white guy night on the mouth, man, on Madhouse Radio, on the show.

Get off and let somebody else call in.

All right, man, I'm going to take a break, actually.

Hey, man, Ted, thanks for coming back.

It's awesome.

Are you going to be doing your show, or are you just going to run the IRC?

I'm just going to pop in from time to time.

Okay, well, cool, man.

Stay in touch, man.

You're the man.

All right.

Ted, everybody, good talking to you, bro.

Bye.

That was Ted, everybody.

Look, man, what do you think about Ted?

How about Ted, huh?

Let's put...

He's a great man here.

We have a gentleman here at Milkman.

Let's see if we can talk to this guy.

We're going to take him off mute.

Hello, TalkShoe guest five.

Identify yourself, please.

Who's this now?

I'm sorry.

Oh, cool, man.

Cool.

Well, thanks for listening, bro.

You're the man.

Where are you from?

You're from America?

The greatest country in the world, man.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

All right, man.

We'll keep on rocking, bro.

Thanks for being on Madhouse Radio.

You're the man.

MadHouseLive.com.

Tell them to run.

All right, whatever.

That's TalkShoeGuess, everybody.

TalkShoeGuess, the guest of the night.

TalkShoeGuess wins five Carlito dollars.

Nine and eight point six.

I know.

Awesome, awesome work that guy did, huh?

How about that, Milkman?

You know, he just popped in and he won five Carlito dollars, man.

They're good for anything in the MadHouse radio show.

Milkman, we're going to take a break, bro.

It's time for a break.

I got some meatloaf waiting for me in the other room.

I'm going to pick some of that up.

We've had some good prank calls.

We've had a little bit of fun tonight, you know.

It's moving, it's progressing.

It's a decent night tonight.

We're doing pretty good.

I'd like to thank everybody who's listening to us now, all 23 of you.

Thank you very much for listening to us right now.

Of course, all our Madhouse Radio podcast listeners checking us out.

Be sure to try to catch us live here on Thursday nights at 11 p.m. Eastern Standard Time, 8 p.m. in the Pacific.

That's right.

And, of course, we're on TalkShoe Live as well tonight.

We're going to come back.

We're going to do some more prank calls, some loads of moves.

Just to give you a heads up, we've got Wild Asian Masooses in San Francisco, California.

We also have the Green Park Hotel.

That is in Liverpool, England.

We're going to be doing some more prank calls.

We'll be taking some more of your calls.

The toll-free line is 1-888-278-8509.

Milkman, you're going to stay for the break, right?

You're going to be back after this, right?

I'll do this.

All right, good deal.

Milkman's going to be here, too.

We're going to be taking your calls.

Maybe Reclute will call in.

Hopefully, we'll see about that.

For the time being, we'll be back in about five minutes, folks.

Thanks for listening.

We'll be back right after this.

Don't tell me 40,000 people are coming here.

They're not here.

Let's go.

Guy tried to break into my truck.

Be sure to visit us online at madhouselive.com.

Yeah, it's a long way in Pembroke, Puerto Rico.

Madhouse Radio will be back right after this.

Thank you, everybody, for staying tuned.

Madhouse Radio has returned.

Milkman, you still there with us, man?

I wish we could trade.

Awesome.

I'm eating some KFC coleslaw, man.

You've got to love this stuff.

Oh, yeah, man.

KFC coleslaw.

All right, man.

All right, you're good.

You know, we had a new intro we played tonight, Milkman.

You missed it.

There's a new intro.

You'll have to catch it next week.

You'll have to be on time.

Unfortunately, your coconut foam was in the ass.

Milkman, we're going to call Wild Asian Masseuses here.

We're going to do a few more prank calls, and we're going to call it a night,

because I've got to go to school tomorrow.

Now I'm trying, but I would like to thank everybody who stayed with us after the break.

Thank you all who stuck in.

We have 21 listeners right now on the extended Madhouse Radio Network.

A good hello to everybody on TalkShoe and everybody else.

All you guys are awesome.

We're going to be calling Wild Agent this season.

Oh, that's right.

You can't see the chat room tonight.

We have in the chat room tonight Lonesome Loser, Tuck.

Tuck is in there.

Ted is in there.

We've got Baz, DTT, Ellie, Gain Green, MST3Play, Repo, and, of course, WisePool.

WisePool's a cool guy, dude.

I like WisePool.

Good people.

MST3, Ellie, WisePool.

Got a nice little gang in there.

Even Saigon.

Saigon is in there.

I saw Pauly Paul, my sister.

Yep.

Oh, man.

You're out?

Who?

Ellie?

Pauly Paul, my sister.

No, I don't think so.

Milk band isn't in there, I know that

Okay, we have a request to call in some guy named David Hughes

Maybe we'll call that

We'll call that next

First, we're going to call Wild Asian Masseuses here

Hang on, everybody

The next prank call will be tonight, right?

Hello

How you doing?

This is the masseuse place

Stop by here

Thinking about it

What's the rate?

How much is it?

We charge you $45.65

Including body samples and stuff

What about scrub?

What about a scrub?

You body scrubs?

Yes

Do they get the smegma?

I'll take a new, okay?

Well, I'm just curious

is you take the MasterCard?

I need cash.

Women take tips, right?

Do they take tips

for extra stuff or what?

You want a girl massage

for you, okay?

You pay tip.

Of course, pay tip.

What's the normal tip?

What is the normal tip, though?

It depends.

It's up to you.

What is the average tip there?

I don't know.

I just be testing.

You come here,

talk to the girl.

What if I tip $5?

What happens?

Okay, bye.

All right.

She's not having it.

I was nasty, everybody.

I'm sorry.

I probably turned off

a lot of people.

I didn't do that type

of prank call normally.

I'm feeling a bit lazy tonight.

Man, I was eating my coleslaw.

It's all gone now.

All right.

Put that over there.

Milkman?

Place a call to one.

I will.

Good evening, Madhouse Radio.

You're on the air.

Prank Master, what's up, man?

How you doing, bro?

Good.

I'll talk to you, like, in a year, man.

Yeah.

So how's it going, man?

It's good to talk to you.

Yeah.

Talk to you, too.

So what are your thoughts on bathroom sex?

Normal.

I've tried it.

Masturbated at work.

I have.

Everybody's jacked off at work, man.

Yeah.

So, what are you doing now, exactly?

Still the cruise ship thing?

Yeah.

What's up with, um...

What are you doing?

Asian.

How's something?

A lot of sugar.

A lot of cheese, though, I bet.

No cheese at all.

No cheese products at all, huh?

A little bit.

Asian don't need cheese, you know.

There's no Asian dish with cheese in it.

A little bit.

I think it's crab rangoon, really, and that stuff was kind of, um, invented here in the

States.

Yeah.

Thank you very much for calling.

It's good talking to you, man.

Don't be a stranger.

Later, bye.

Take care of yourself with the people.

Just be cool.

I've seen you lay out late at night.

Take care of yourself, I'm watching you, okay?

Yeah, I'm sure.

What are you going to be a jerk for?

I'm talking, I'm trying to be nice to you.

I'm being a father figure.

Why are you going to say that to me, man?

I don't want to be funny.

DK.

DK, you lost 25 pounds, you look hot.

You've been him.

I'm just curious.

Take care of yourself.

Hot.

Well, there you have it, straight from the horse's mouth.

Yep.

Yeah.

That's Lonesome Lizard, everybody, who sounds mysteriously enough like Biggie Smalls.

Interesting enough.

We're going to do another prank call now.

Yeah.

The Railway Hotel in Liverpool, England, everybody.

And then after that, we're going to do this personal call here for our friend Philly,

who I think signed off, waiting.

David Hughes.

Just a moment, folks.

We're calling this guy with prank message caller ID.

Uh, but here's our...

It helps if I take the...

Oh, what?

What if we're calling the viewers?

Whatever.

So, yeah, P. Philly, if you want to call in, now's the time.

The phone was busy because we were doing your prank call where nobody answered.

Probably because I waited so long.

I'm very...

So, if you want to call in, now's the time to do it.

If not, we're going to start wrapping up the show here, Milkman.

I think it's time.

It's almost 2 in the morning.

We've had a good show.

We've done our thing.

I want to remind everybody, of course, to visit us at madhouselive.com.

Madhouselive.com for the podcast, for the newsletter, for the archives, for the pranks, for the more.

And, of course, if you want to call in before we end the show, the toll-free line is 1-888-278-8509.

Again, our toll-free line here tonight is 1-888-278-8509.

You're dead wrong

We're not gonna listen to Eminem here

Sorry

Is this the Gully dude?

We've had a lot of people

I'm having trouble getting in the chat room

HouseLive.com you can't do it

HouseLive.link program

Have Java use the chat

Yeah it should open right up for you

That's odd I don't know

I'll check it out tonight

If anybody's in the chat room now

Using the Java client

Let me know if it's working or not

Maybe it's down

Maybe I messed it up

I don't know

I might have to fix it

I'll check it out man

Sorry about that, but hey, you're on the phone, man, and we're communicating somehow on AOL.

It's hard, you know, during the show, I get so many messages, I get to them in order as soon as I can, you know what I mean?

Yeah, I like the show. It's really cool. I mean, I don't call.

I appreciate that, man.

I try to call these, but they're not answering. It's probably too late. I waited too long, you know what I mean?

I have some more numbers, but it's probably too late.

Yeah, we're going to wrap up here soon, because it's getting kind of late.

What's Philly doing this time of year? You know, I was there a year and a half ago. I'm getting married close to Philly.

In Philly, how's Philly right now?

What's the temperature like over there this time of year?

Division, so it looks like...

Listening to a lot of the guys that we're talking about,

I guess the Yankees were playing last night, wasn't it?

Was the Yankees playing last night?

The Yankees were playing the Red Sox.

The Red Sox.

The Red Sox beat them last night, right?

Two.

Well, that's good, man.

Good.

It's starting to heat up.

World Series time almost here.

That means NBA is getting ready to start up here pretty soon.

Football season is about...

Hockey will be starting soon.

Yeah, hockey.

Yeah, we're not big on hockey down here, but...

Well, yeah, so football starts...

When is college?

Does the college football start next week, I think?

When does college football start?

One or two weeks from now?

I don't know.

I'm not really sure.

I think it's like any week now.

I think it's maybe one or two weeks from now.

I don't know.

It can't be that far away because I just started classes myself at UCF.

I don't know.

All right, bro.

Hey, man.

Thanks for calling in, man.

It's good.

Yeah.

How did you learn about this shit?

Did you learn through the podcast or did you search for prank calls?

It all started when I was really bored.

I remember a couple of years ago, me and my brother, one web hotel causing me to...

Man, those are pretty funny.

and the fat guy

in the hotel room.

Good stuff, man.

What's the next live show

tomorrow?

The next,

tomorrow,

there's a dude

named Zolar

who's on tomorrow.

He's over at

xyzolar.com,

I think is his website,

zolarkast.com.

He's pretty cool.

He's not on this station,

but he's on his own station.

He does a good show.

He does a lot of prank calls,

a lot of prank calls.

He's really good, yeah.

You gotta check him out.

He sees every Friday night

that's Zolar

and then,

yeah,

we're on next week

on Thursday night

night on um on the madhouse station goes on wednesday right legos on wednesday i don't know

what's he on last night i don't even know i don't even know i didn't have time last night man he

comes on when he can't for sure man why if that's you're calling in bro you take care of yourself

all right man and uh nice health thanks man i appreciate it to all your friends all right dude

with the booing man what was that about hit the wrong button i wasn't trying to boo just hit the

wrong number uh turrets guy says if you're getting married near philly and i am in the area i'll

I'll drop off a letter to congratulate you in Athena.

Poop, you can come in, Poop.

It's okay.

Oh, Milkman, I'm sorry.

Milkman, are you muted or not?

Say something.

Milkman.

Hello.

There you go.

I don't get this.

Did you get disconnected again?

Didn't mean to.

I'm sorry.

Let's see here.

We've got Wiseful sending in a number here.

I'm the lowest of the low.

Oh, this is an email he got from a person who was his best friend.

You are the lowest of the low, bottom of the shit pathetic.

Oh, bottom of the shit pile, et cetera.

Don't want to hang out with someone that is so low,

and I don't want to see you ever again to stay out of my life.

I pranked him before just for fun so he knows about PCU,

so I can't get him back directly.

But I dug up the phone info for his grandparents.

Awesome, dude.

Awesome.

I'll get the phone off the hook.

This is William and Mary Helze.

William and Mary Helze.

Los and Los says, sorry about the car.

I never got the pins.

When I get them, I'll send you the info.

Oh, yeah, no problem, man.

No problem.

No problem, man.

It's okay, man.

It's okay, no, no, no deal.

No big deal, no big deal.

And that's about that.

Okay, so Milkman, we're going to do one last prank call,

and we're going to wrap it up, all right?

You excited about that?

I am.

I'm excited about getting some sleep and going to school.

I have to pay tuition tomorrow, $963 for two classes.

And I haven't even bought my books yet.

Wow.

Expensive to go to school, man.

Expensive, expensive.

Anyway, here comes the dude's grandparents who this guy, Wiseful,

broke up with stuff, his best friend.

They broke up today.

I'm sorry.

I made a tremendous discovery.

I'll tell you what.

This cell phone, you want it back?

It says, it says, Grandpa...

Grandson.

Stop with him, huh?

Grandson's phone.

What do you expect I was doing in my girlfriend's bedroom?

What's that?

What do you expect I was doing in my girlfriend's bedroom?

Mother...

Stop it.

Cat is scratching on the door.

Stop it, Cat.

Now.

Stop it.

What do you think another man's cell phone is doing inside my girlfriend's bedroom, sir?

Imagine your girlfriend has a boy that's about...

No.

No, no, no.

No kids at all.

Kids at all.

And why wouldn't a boy have relations with my wife?

With my wife to be my girlfriend?

It's disgusting, sir.

Disgusting.

Disgusting that your grandson is having relations with a woman who's spoken for, sir.

On your grandson's cell phone, who had sex with my wife.

My wife.

And my bed.

Sir, there is a used condom on top of the phone.

When I appreciate this, I don't appreciate this trash that you've raised.

I'm talking about you, you piece of trash woman.

That's it.

you're a trashy woman

and you raised a grandson

who slept

with my wife

sap

speak English

how do you money make

goodbye

were they there at all for that

like I lost them at the end

something weird happened there

at the end

I don't know

that was kind of fun

wise fool says he was waiting

for a good night

to send that number

and I think that was a good night

man that was awesome

that was kind of fun

oh yeah

man what I was trying to say

I learned that

using spooftel

all the calls are recorded

online

all I have to do

is go to the website

and I got them all the calls

from tonight right here in front of me.

All I have to do is click on listen, and we can listen to a call.

So what time do you think we did that funny one?

I don't know.

What time do you think we did the one with the guy?

You know what I'm talking about at the hotel?

The really good one we did where the guy started crying.

What time was that maybe?

I don't know.

Here's one that says 7 minutes, 35 seconds.

I don't think that's it, though.

This is a man's voice.

We did a regular voice for this one, I think.

It was August 23rd, though.

Maybe that was it.

Maybe.

I don't know.

I would have recorded it.

I guess, look, see, here's a problem.

Now it says, like, recording none.

I know I made a recording of it.

I had to have.

That would suck if that didn't get recorded.

You know what I'm saying?

I'd really be upset if that didn't get recorded, dude.

Let's try to listen to this one that says it took 7 minutes, 35 seconds.

Yes, hello, this is Dr. Nargas.

May I speak with Don Carlos, please?

Yeah, this is Juan Carlos.

This is the one from last week, man.

Let's listen to this.

Hey, God.

Juan Carlos, this is Dr. Nargas.

How are you?

Fuck you.

Hey, fuck you, man.

Come on.

Come do my painting for me, please.

You gotta be fucking shitting me, you fucking stupid ass dumbass doctor.

Is that all you know how to say to a doctor? You know I'm the man of the car.

Yeah, shut the fuck up. You probably gotta be a fucking beaner to be doing this at this fucking time.

Hey man, my shoes cost more than you get paid this week.

Shut the fuck up, you fucking crazy ass-

How much do you get paid this week?

You ask-

I'm a doctor, how is that possible?

Doctor dumbass.

Look, I'm a bad doctor, I do bad things.

I know you're a fucking bad doctor. You fuck take your finger up your asshole

I do that I make you do you do the fucking prostate access to yourself. I make people smell my finger

Yeah, go suck a dick bitch. You heard? How much how much is it? Which is what? Your dick. How much is it? How much?

Right for you, you fucking gay queer bastard. I'm a gay queer doctor and I make abortions

Yeah, why don't you go fucking sit on a black dick? I have to, but you don't tell me what to do because I'm a doctor

I'll tell you what to do. I'll tell you to go suck a fucking dick, fucker.

How many times you gonna say that word, man?

What happened?

You don't know what you're gonna have to say?

I can tell you I'll fuck your mother.

Yeah? How many times you gonna fuck her?

A second.

Okay.

Hi, this is Dr. Nargas and someone was calling me here making bad noises.

Yo, yeah, it's me, motherfucker. What the fuck are you calling for?

What do you sound so high for, man?

Is that all you do? You sit around drinking Corona, painting houses, getting high?

Free for madness?

Yeah, motherfucker.

How you money make?

Excuse me?

How you money make?

Make my money

How you money make?

How you money make, stupid?

That's not hard to listen.

How you money make?

You must...

Man, you're a bad...

You smoke...

You sniff the paint.

I think you put a straw in the paint bucket and you drink it, man.

No, why the dick if you can't even fucking speak?

The whole man ready that and I said, I don't do that because I'm a doctor, man.

You need a doctor exam.

Go to a prostate exam?

Yeah.

Fingers up, you fucking asshole, you fucking asshole.

I tried that for you right now. You ready? Yes. Okay, hang on. Listen, listen, you ready? Yes.

Nah, man. Not a gun. Not a gun? Yeah, doctor, not a gun. Yeah? You got a-

Excuse me, I don't speak that language, man. What the fuck do you speak?

I speak English like America, man. I speak American.

No, you definitely don't speak American. You got the-

This is America. Tell him to stop speaking Spanish in the background, man.

You speak American only in my country, man.

It's not American. It's English, you stupid fuck.

He's speaking AI. No sé qué habla. Habla español.

Speak American, man.

Hey, what's up?

I'm from Colombia, man.

I'm from Cristal, man.

This is fucking Fabian. Yeah, I know it.

Yo, what's up, man?

Yo, you fucking Colombian bitch. You fucking Fabian.

Fuck you, yo.

Your sister's hot, man.

I got a sister, you don't.

You don't anymore, I took it from you.

You coming over, man?

For what, bitch?

Come over, man.

Yeah, whatever.

Dr. Nagas.

It's Dr. Nagas, man.

Fabian Nagas, man.

Fabian, this is serious.

Yeah, man.

Let me talk to him.

Yeah.

What's up?

What's up, man?

My bad.

I was just playing with you.

Huh?

I was just playing with you, man.

I'm lost, man.

Yo, you pissed off at me?

No.

Yo, you got any of that weed?

No.

Since when you don't got that weed, man?

Weed, man.

I was smoking.

I can sit around sniffing paint all day, man.

What?

Huh?

Okay, man, I'm going to go.

Okay, that's enough of that.

That was kind of fun.

Kind of fun, if I don't say so myself.

I'm trying to find the one from tonight, the one about the fucking hotel.

You know what I'm talking about?

Damn it, what time was that?

Let's try this one here.

This is, today was the 30th, right?

Okay, let's try this one instead.

Around 1230.

1230?

Let's try this one.

Call on the Hilton Airport, Mall of America.

This is Eliza.

How may I direct your call?

Hey, how you doing?

Good, how are you?

Oh, good. Let me ask you a question. Do you have public bathroom inside?

Yes, we do. Yes.

Do you?

Mm-hmm.

Wow. Hey, man. I was thinking, how long, how long am I allowed to sit in there?

I don't know. Like 10 minutes?

How, how big is the, um, the handicap stall?

Standard handicap stall.

I, I weigh 482 pounds in my locker. You know, there's, there's standard and there's standard type EE.

Uh-huh.

There's standard type, type EE.

You get the point. Hang on, let's go back to the end of this here. That's what I'm looking for.

Can I scroll? I can't, dude. This is perfect.

Yes, sir, I am. They showed me the room. It's a size EE.

It's supposed to be a size EEW with a refrigerator for my insulin, and it doesn't have it.

I'm a human. I'm a human. Damn you, I'm a human.

I understand that, sir. Where are you located?

I'm on the second floor, you twit. You slag. How could you do this to me?

What are you calling me, sir?

You're a slag.

Okay, well, I'm not going to let you call me these names over the telephone.

I will be getting a...

You're a quick, smarter than you, sir.

I'm intelligent, and I think, and I have a feeling.

You know what my feeling is?

I just need...

It's not funny.

You son of a bitch.

Hey, don't call...

Sir, I'm going to be getting off the phone right now, okay?

Have a good evening, okay?

Is this the end?

This is the end.

Have a good night

Whatever

That was fun Milkman

We lost control

Milkman we're done

Milkman take us out of here

Son of a bitch

You don't have to welcome him back

He's never gone

Welcome

Welcome loser

Thank you

Your discount coupon

That's me

Carlito is the king

Of prank calls

Ho ho ho

I'm kidding

No

Not that stuck up

Milkman

Good having you on

And it's good having you on

So thank you for being on man

Well, it's a lot of folk, and that's why it's too much longer.

My connection is worse than I expected it all to have.

Back to your usual works.

Everybody thinks...

I have my distorted muffled for work.

I'd just like to mention that, seriously, we did update the podcast yesterday with the last episode.

They're out today.

I will have this episode of the podcast probably up, I don't know, in a day or two.

By Saturday, it should be up.

so we're gonna

we're gonna stay

you know

right on top

of the fucking

the podcast

that's right

yeah sure

alright so everybody

thank you for listening

tonight and again

madhouselive.com

is the website

Milkman thanks for

being on bro

and thank you

hey man thanks a lot

man it's an honor

to hear about you

yeah

yeah man

don't do that

and stop that

stop that

shut up

I'm an attorney

gas

listen

this is

in bed

Calls (19, 42 min of 2 h 1 min)

Transcript

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