Conference Special (part 2)

You are listening to a replay of Madhouse Radio.

Well, I think you should fucking hang up

or I'm going to find out who you are and punch your fucking face in.

How's that?

Be sure to visit us online at madhouselive.com.

Everybody say hi on three.

One, two, three.

Hello.

You guys sound excited.

You guys sound just excited to do a show tonight.

This is y'all's idea, not mine.

I hold you all personally responsible for this show.

the failure that it's going to be hopefully not new news idea new news idea we're doing this for

new new is that the story all this hype for new new wow man anyway we're here everybody it's a

special episode of our show excuse me of madhouse radio we're going to be attempting we're attempting

to attack the telemarketers conference we're attempting to recreate what happened last year

the legendary uh zolar show which attacked the uh american telemarketers association conference in

in San Diego, where we succeeded in harassing Tim Searcy and Jack Valenti.

It was legendary in terms of prank calls,

and hopefully we will have just as much success, if not more, tonight.

But at the very least, we hope to be able to do something.

So here goes nothing.

Are you guys excited to do a show?

I mean, let's see you guys get pumped.

Hell yeah, baby!

Ah, great.

Who's with us tonight?

Of course, Athena's here.

Athena's next to me, of course.

and uh we wait on here and who else is here we've got the milkman four-time domino champion of the

caribbean what's up milkman say hi to everybody hey hey hey hey what's happening man we're ready

to kick some telemarketing ass are we man i hope so i hope we are i'm ready i don't know about you

guys but i hope so yeah okay i don't know where's carlito um oh you sound like shit milkman

outside of the

my delay

yeah

play orders

and shine for it

milkman you sound

like crap over there

try it out

really

yeah really

alright we'll see

if milkman comes back

milkman try to not

talk so loud

into the mic

maybe it'll

it'll sound better

try it again

okay

there we go

see that's how you do

okay

well that's milkman

everybody

he'll be back with us

shortly

clone homegrown also

clone homegrown

is in the chat room

not in the chat room

yeah but he's also

on the air

what the fuck

is that people

nothing

nothing man

We're all fine, we're all good, Cloned is here, and of course we have from the United Kingdom also joining us per Milkman's request, our good friend and occasional guest of the show, none other than AMD, what's up AMD, how you doing man?

How you doing mate, I'm doing good.

Good on you mate, that's an Australian thing, I'm sorry, I said the wrong thing, I got confused between my British subject.

How's Britain treating you man?

You can say, hello governor.

Hello governor, shine your shoes.

How's Britain treating you man?

What's the news out of the UK lately?

Well, it's raining

That's about it, really

Ah, great, good

No news is good news

That's the weather report

That's your UK weather report from AMD

Right, great, appreciate it

AMD with the word

Milkman, you're doing good

How's the Virgin Islands treating you, Milkman?

Oh, man, we're doing good, man

We had another coconut talk contest

Yeah.

And it looks like I'm in the lead right now.

Yeah.

Great.

See, plenty of people are listening tonight.

We have 55 listeners live.

This will, of course, also be on the podcast later tomorrow afternoon.

Katie Kay's show last night was good.

That's already on the podcast.

It's been updated.

It was updated earlier this evening.

Be sure to check that out.

Head over to PCURadio.com.

Be sure to go to MadHouseLive.com.

If you want to give us your prank calls, suggestions, and requests, be sure to do so by hitting us up on AOL Instant Messenger, Madhouse Radio, Yahoo Messenger, Madhouse, PCU Radio, MSN Messenger, Madhouse, PCU Radio, at hotmail.com.

And, of course, the chat room is open over at PCURadio.com.

You can also reach it visiting our homepage, MadHouseLive.com, the chat room.

Plenty of people in there right now.

Be a part of the party.

If you're not in the chat room, you're not getting the full experience of the show.

Milkman, why don't you give everybody the details on joining the IRC way.

Take it away and see if you get it right here the first time.

Sure, man.

Man, just type in irc.lazy-net.de, then enter the channel, pound PCU, and come on in and have a lot of fun, man.

We've got a bunch of crazy people in here, and we're about to cut loose on these telemarketers.

And get in here and fill in your comments.

We'd definitely appreciate it.

All right, excellent.

Speaking of which, I think we might have some urgent news.

It's not confirmed yet.

I am rushing over in the satellite center to go to CNN.

CNN. And sure enough, we have breaking news, everybody. We're going to come in with

breaking news. Milkman, can you please cut the music and tell

the crowd to please be quiet? Okay. We have breaking news

coming through from the Associated Press. We have a confirmation, everybody.

I don't know if this is good news or bad news, but North Korea has just confirmed

Guess what they have just confirmed, Milkman? You take it from here. I bet you know exactly

what it is. North Korea official news

news agency, they have

exploded their first nuclear

weapon. They are confirming

no radioactive leakage from

the site, but apparently they have succeeded

in their first nuclear

test this morning.

Well, it will be Monday morning for them.

It's still, of course, sun over here,

but it's into Monday afternoon

at this point, I think, over in North Korea, probably.

So we have a new entry,

officially, into the

nuclear family of the world,

North Korea, and I think that

We're going to see sanctions against North Korea on the part of Japan.

Woo-hoo, time to go to war.

Yeah, so, yeah.

Bush ain't going to do that.

He could get his ass kicked.

I don't know.

So it's confirmed.

The North Koreans are crazy, if you didn't think about it before.

So prepare for World War III, everybody.

We have broke the news here first.

You heard it here first on Madhouse Radio.

So that's it.

Okay, so that's it for breaking news.

We're going to go back to the show for the time being.

Any thoughts on that, gentlemen, before we move on with the show?

Let's get the UK perspective on that.

How do you feel about North Koreans having the nuke?

Are you guys as crazy about that as we are, sir?

Mr. AMD?

Well, there's not been a lot of it in the news, but it is quite shocking, really.

Yeah, it is quite shocking indeed.

I mean, those people are crazy.

They are, but I've played a lot of Resident Evil,

so my survival skills, I might be able to survive anyway.

Yeah, well, it's a good thing we went into Iraq

instead of dealing with the real threat in North Korea, but whatever.

We've got smart people in charge

who are making the right decisions, I'm sure.

So, yeah.

Clone Homegrown, Milkman.

Milkman, Clone, let me get Clone's perspective from a stoner.

What's your thought on North Korea sending off a nuclear bomb tonight?

Yeah.

That's Clone's thought.

And, Milkman, what do you say?

Okay, I have no idea what you said because you broke up.

But you said oil prices are going to go down.

That's a prediction, everybody, that oil prices will go down.

So, there it is.

and black box confirms meet meet move move so there we are okay so let's move on let's do

prank calls enough of that and i would like who who broke that story to me someone online broke

that news to me i forgot who it was i need to credit our source lord spoon actually uh broke

that news to me to that house so thank you sir yes okay so the telemarketer conference that's

who we're calling tonight that's what we're here for um it is at the disney's yeah coronado springs

springs resort here in orlando we actually went there earlier this afternoon we took several

pictures we scoped out the area fina and me and we took some pictures of of that uh location there

we got the general layout of this of the area and we you know we have an idea a few ideas of what we

can do prank call wise to terrorize these people um terrorize of course in just a joking matter

nothing illegal nothing bad nothing north korean oh man forment forment um we've got a bunch of

keynote speaker nothing illegal yes it is but uh nunu has sent me all the information to all the

people who are appearing and i've got the bios here in front of me of all the different um keynote

speakers who are who are there at the at the resort now so we're going to try to get through

to them and yeah so uh what do you guys think any ideas that you have any ideas you have

definitely the hookers okay milkman you give me the pictures again milkman throw me an idea real

real quick of how we can uh how we can prank these people well i think it'd be good again

we could start start clone give me an idea of something we can do these how is it possible

the guy from the uk comes in perfectly and milkman sounds like crap i don't i don't care

there's no telling there's no no explanation for this and um i don't know we're gonna try i have

the phone number ready here um i have the phone number ready for the horrible script and read it

to them like you're selling them something like a telemarketer would okay you are a telemarketer

yourself as a matter of fact aren't you no i'm a sales rep oh you're pretty much a telemarketer

you call people trying to sell stuff right or are you taking inbound calls i do that

oh really so okay so amd is a telemarketer and uh clone dabbles in the sales inbound and outbound

amd what what is it like being the telemarketer are you offended by us doing these prank calls

Are you empowered by us doing this, getting at your bosses?

Well, we're not, I guess you're not American, so it doesn't really affect you.

Well, no, the thing is, when they get angry, we wind them up on purpose so they really swear and everything.

That's more fun then.

Okay, so it makes the job interesting once, you know, something goes haywire.

Okay, I gotcha, I gotcha.

It does, because I've been called some real bad names.

Okay, okay, clone, if we can go late enough, we're going to try some of your wake-up calls.

But, I mean, we'd have to get to at least 1 o'clock a.m. local time here, you know, to actually have an ecosystem.

Not with me, man.

Not with you.

Yeah, you're not going to make it that late.

I know that.

But we'll try.

We will try.

I'd like to remind everybody that KDK will be on The Howard Stern Show in two days on Tuesday morning.

So if you have a serious subscription, be sure to check out.

Our own KDK will be making an appearance on The Howard Stern Show.

He will be doing a very dirty deed

A deed which will guarantee his entry

Into hell

That's all I'm allowed to say about it

So be sure to check that out

And away we go with the first prank call of the night

My first victim

Should we try it for Tim Searcy

Or should we wait up and just try to get one of these keynote speakers in

I say we warm up to the Tim Searcy thing first

I say we

Yeah I started with Tim the other night

He wasn't up

And get some room numbers

Okay well let's try this

we'll call Steve Walker

Steve Walker is the chairman

of the board of Walker Information

he has spent

let me get the information here

he spent the last 10 years leading his company

into the largest company

dedicated to customer loyalty

management many companies

are blah blah blah blah blah blah

I don't know I guess

I'm guilty by association at this point

so he deals with

he'll be talking about managing

Managing, telemarketing, customer loyalty, or something like that, if there's such a thing.

So there we go.

We'll see where this takes us, and away we go.

We'll be right back after this with the first attempted prank call of the night.

Friends, this is Pam. How may I assist you?

Hello, ma'am. I'm sorry. I'm having trouble with my phone.

There, that's better.

I need to speak to a friend of mine. He should be a guest there.

Would you be able to possibly transfer me over?

What's the last name, sir?

Walker. Mr. Walker. Stephen Walker.

One moment, please.

Thank you.

I'm sorry, what?

Good night, you.

Have a magical evening.

Magical?

All right, thank you.

Hey.

Oh, it's Disney.

Disney is gay.

The person in this room is not available to take your call.

Wah, wah, wah.

Okay, well, one person isn't there so far.

That's fine.

We have plenty of people who are there.

But, yeah.

You know what I just realized?

How do you know?

What I just realized, there's no need for me to be blocking the number.

I mean, there's no need for me to be using a phone card.

It's a local number.

No.

All I have to do is, or should I be using the phone card just to kind of, in case they can trace it back, do you think?

What do you guys think?

What do you think is safe?

Oh, it's a hotel.

It's a hotel.

Yeah, but it's Disney.

No way, yeah.

You're not calling direct.

Disney runs Orlando.

So, Milkman, you say don't call him direct.

Athena says don't call him direct.

McClellan says he doesn't care.

AMD, you call the shot.

What do you say?

And you save your phone bill.

And AMD says they phone.

Well, it's a local number, but either way.

Anyway, I don't know.

We'll figure it out here.

I don't know.

If it gets to be too late.

It's the star 67.

Yeah, I think it's safe enough that it's the star 67.

Athena shakes her head at me.

No.

Yeah, I guess they will complain.

They can't.

Especially calling the switchboard, so it should be fine.

Yeah, I guess you got a point.

I don't know.

We'll call it as it is.

If I'm going to call Tim seriously, I'm going to go through the phone card because he's

got, we've harassed him quite a bit.

He's probably.

And I'll just buy another.

That's what Milkman's going to do.

Okay.

Okay, next here, next up is, hang on, Tony Portman.

Tony Portman is the president of Stream.

She's the keynote speaker.

She's speaking, looks like she'll be speaking tomorrow.

She's revolutionized the approach to contact services, business with her drive, enthusiasm, and enduring pursuit of excellence.

Let me post a picture of her here for everybody to see who's in the chat room.

And, again, if you're not in the chat room, be sure you go to PCUradio.com or MadHouseLive.com and join the chat room.

The instructions are there.

And there it is.

That's a picture of our next prank victim, Ms. Toni Portman.

And I will try my best now to get a hold of her.

Give me a second here and we'll be right back.

She's wearing a pearl necklace.

Yeah, I'll give her a pearl necklace.

I won't.

I mean, no, no, I wouldn't.

Athena doesn't know what a pro name is.

Yeah, I noticed you said that real quiet.

Tony Portman's room, please.

Portman.

D-O-R-T.

Double N.

No yet.

No yet?

Nope.

Oh, man.

What about James Lyons?

To the left.

L-A-Y-O-N-S.

L-A-Y-O-N-S?

No, no, no.

L-L-Y-O-N-S.

Lyons.

I don't see that last name either.

L-Y-O-N-S.

L-Y-O-N.

See, yeah, I saw his accent.

I am.

I'm stupid.

No, you're not.

Yes, I am.

First name?

James.

James?

James, James.

That's James Lyons.

James Lyons.

Yes.

James.

Yes, James.

Where is James Prunk?

Because there's two of them.

Oh, I don't know.

He's with the conference.

Oh, okay.

Yes.

Not a problem.

I'll connect you and have a magical evening.

Okay, God bless you.

Thank you.

The same to you.

I'm not supposed to say that, Disney.

I'm getting drunk.

God, that would be lame seeing that every night.

You should see a security guard that every night.

Very gay.

God damn it.

Are these people not in their rooms yet?

They're all out getting drunk.

I think we're too early.

We're not the telemarketers.

We might be too early.

I was thinking about waiting up to like 12, dude, because fucking right now.

What do they got?

Milkman, can you...

Man, they got a big circle jerk going.

I think so.

They're jerking off thinking about telemarketing and stuff, man.

You know, you're saying about...

Yeah.

You were talking about having to say that every night.

Athena, right?

What about the security guard at the gate when we tried to get into the resort?

Wasn't he overly nice?

He was like a Brian Gumbel black guy, but he was super, super nice.

He's super, super nice, man.

He's like, hello, how are you doing?

We're like, we want to visit our friend here.

He's like, okay, can I see your license, please?

Yeah, he's like, can I see your license, please?

We're like, okay.

And Athena shows the license.

Oh, you don't have to take it out.

Have a magical day.

Go on down there.

Here's a second hand.

Just take a lap.

You're like, okay, thanks.

Super nice people there at Disney.

They're super nice when you're, I mean, at least, at the very least, a company like that,

if they're milking you for a lot of money, at the very least, they can be nice to you.

And that's the Disney way.

And I'm very proud to be associated in a town that's run by Disney.

You got to love Orlando, everybody.

Well, I'm moving to Orlando.

Hey, don't everybody talk at the same time now.

Say what now?

Go ahead, milk box.

I'm just kidding.

I'm just kidding, guys.

I'm messing with you.

I said they pat you on the back while they're banging your ass.

While they're raping you.

They're raping your wallet.

But Disney is a good time.

And if it wasn't for Disney, I probably wouldn't be living in Orlando.

Because Orlando would probably be nothing except for a bunch of orange groves and cattle herds and stuff.

That's all there would be out here if it wasn't for good old Walt Disney, the anti-Semite himself.

So, yeah, there it is.

So what do you think?

Should we try to call...

Yeah, because the people that are out...

Yeah, yeah.

Can we, like, order him early morning wake-up calls at, like, 2 in the morning or something?

That's my thing.

If I could, I mean, I won't be able to stay on the air that long, though.

I mean, I would like to stay.

We should have started at 12 and gone until 2, and at 2 o'clock we could have just started doing the morning wake-up calls and shit.

So, damn it, man.

Nunu suggests trying Tim Searcy's cell phone.

We could hold this at them.

Yeah, we could.

Tim Searcy, I'm sorry, Nunu recommends we call Tim Searcy's cell phone number and try him there.

We could try that, of course.

We could try that.

Or we can just try...

Look, man, do me a favor.

Do you still have that link to the schedule for the conference

so we can see what's going on right now, perhaps?

Are these people having a dinner or something?

Can I call...

Everything stopped after about 9 o'clock.

Well, okay.

At 9 o'clock or did the last event start at 9?

Because if it started at 9, it might finish at 11.

Let me see.

Okay, here we go.

I got it right here.

Oh, man.

From 9.30...

That's in the morning.

8 o'clock, actually, they had an exhibit sponsor appreciation in the La Mesa patio.

Damn it, man.

That's some shit right there.

Called the hotel bar.

Yeah, I know.

We went to the bar and we got the name of the bar, actually.

It's called Francisco's.

As a matter of fact, we got a picture of it and stuff.

Nunu is sending ideas for a prank here.

He says that we should call the front desk, tell them all the really obvious services.

Okay, I'm sorry.

I also say we're calling from Walmart and just read to them every single item Walmart sells and its price.

Very funny.

He says, do a call as Mickey Mouse.

You know, we need Zolar to get us.

If we had Zolar on here right now, he could totally get High Pitch Eric on the line and have him talk like Mickey Mouse to people.

That would be great.

Should we try to call Zolar?

Do you think he's out there?

I tried to call him earlier tonight.

Earlier today, rather.

You know who's got his number, Lego.

Oh, yeah.

I'm sure Lego does.

Hang on.

Let me try to call Zolar here.

Let me see if we can call Zolar for some help, for some ideas while we regroup and see if we can find someone.

Well, you know what?

I've got a bunch of people.

Someone has to be in.

Well, some of these people have to be in.

We've got Ryan Berry, Terry Williamson, yada, yada, yada.

Oh, geez.

Okay, hang on.

Hold the line for Zolar.

Let's see if we can get a hold of him real quick.

Hang on.

I like doing some heroin to this music, man.

Yeah, it's good heroin music.

If we can get him to come in, I'll be able to get back.

Okay, no Zolar tonight.

We are Zolar-less.

That sucks.

Oh, well.

Okay, so we'll try calling the hotel again

My fear, my only fear is that we're not going to be able to

To get past this lady anymore

If she starts recognizing my voice

So I'm going to have to do a Jack Masterson voice now

To try to get through

Let's see if I'm any good at this here

Let's see here, who are we going to try to call

Lisa Del Falco

Somebody said Dr. Lego is on

Dr. Lego is on what? He's online?

Yes, on his messenger

Hang on, let me see

I don't see him on the messenger

But I'll take your word for it.

Let me try to get a hold of Lisa DeFalco.

She's a member of the board of directors of the ATA.

She's doing a speech tomorrow.

All right, stop it.

Damn it, whoever's doing that.

All right, here comes the next attempt at a prank call.

Somebody said that we ought to call the bar and ask for some of these people.

Yeah, are they going to be at the bar, you think?

I mean, I could start asking for like 1,000 people and not get through to anybody.

I don't know.

We shall see.

Hang on, let me try something here.

We're going to try to call somebody.

Yes, hi.

Can you speak to Lisa DeFalco, please?

Yes.

Magical evening.

Okay.

Thank you.

Oh, man.

Thanks, Nunu.

No, he's right.

I mean, the people are there.

It's just we're calling too early.

No, I'm just fucking around.

I know you're just fucking around.

Chillin'.

It's cool.

I'm giving Nunu hell.

Chillin'.

All right, all right.

Here's an idea.

We can kill some time.

Do you guys know what OxyClean is?

Anybody out there?

Yeah.

Yeah, it's clean in there.

Acme.

Acme, right.

The guy, Billy Mays.

Billy Mays is the bearded guy who sells OxyClean on infomercials here in the United States.

And we have the numbers.

We're trying to locate his number, but we actually got the numbers to his neighbors in Clearwater.

That guy.

We weren't able to get Billy Mays himself, but we have his neighbors.

and we can try to harass them

and waste some time while we try to

spend a little time and see if these people can come back to their rooms.

I'd assume they'd be in their rooms sometime by 1230

and shit. You know, maybe we could just

kill some time.

Call the bar, man. Just do a test shot.

Call the bar? Okay.

The name of the bar was Francisco's, right?

That's what I said it was.

Hang on, let me do a search over here real quick

for Francisco's in Orlando.

Bless you.

Bless you, Athena.

At some point, Athena, you're probably going to have to actually just talk on the phone

just to ask for so-and-so, you know, and then just give it over to me, because they're going

to, they've got one person answering the phone.

Well, I was thinking I'd call in and ask for somebody, too, later.

Good idea, good idea, Mr. Cloned.

Good idea.

Milkman, you can do the same, actually.

Milkman can do the same.

C-L-O-N-D.

Cloned.

Cloned Homegrown.

C-O-L-O-N-D.

Cloned, you did last night on the show.

Any ideas you're going to try to...

Well, I got to get a bit.

Okay.

You just got to get a splitter and use a second phone so you can actually hear the people on the other line.

But you did really good.

I mean, it was close indeed.

I'm trying to find Francisco's phone number.

Francisco's.

Cisco's Coronado Springs Resort.

Let's see if I can find it this way here.

I don't know.

Okay.

That's a good nickname.

Well, yeah.

The resort has this whole Mexican kind of theme to it.

So when you go in there and it's all Mexican looking, they got Mexican music playing and Mexican decorations and whatnot.

So that's how they roll there.

Anyway, I don't have a phone number.

Lonesome Loser, try to get me a direct number for this Francisco's while I try to...

The Coronado Resort.

That's the one located in the...

Or something.

Coronado Resort.

Try to get that for me.

Well, I'm going to call Mr. Norman Hudson, who was a neighbor of this Billy Mays guy.

What else does he sell?

He sells OxyClean.

Doesn't he sell Orange Dream or something like that, too?

That orange shit?

Yeah, that orange sperm shit.

Yeah, that orange sperm stuff.

Okay, well, hang on.

Let me try this right quick.

Hey, call Tim Searcy's cell phone after this.

Okay, will do.

We'll do this, and we'll call Tim Searcy's cell phone.

Good idea, sir.

Good idea.

Uh,

Ms. Hudson?

No, sorry.

Where's Norman at?

Who's this?

My name, Tim Searcy.

Tim Searcy, I was looking for Norman Hudson, please.

Searcy?

Yes.

No, Norman stepped out, Matt.

Where's he at? He's pretty late.

Sorry, who are you?

My name is Tim Searcy, I said.

I understand who you are, but...

Who are you?

Who are you at? Are you the maid?

You can go fuck yourself, call the telephone.

Hey, bitch, don't talk to me like that, woman.

Rude bitch.

Whoa.

I'm going to call her right back.

Don't talk to me like that.

Women don't talk to me like that.

How offensive.

Hey.

Tell her you're going to put OxyClean in her mouth.

Hey, hey woman, I know you're there.

Nah, she hung up. Damn it, she was there. She hung up and she came back.

She's cleaning her mouth.

Orange glow, that's the shit.

Yeah, orange glow, you're right, you're right.

You need to stop calling, pal.

You don't talk to me like that, bitch.

I don't even know who the fuck you are and you're home, my house.

Why don't you write it down?

Who the fuck are you?

Put your man on the phone, I said.

Fuck you, I'll have the cop date. Just leave me the fuck alone.

I'm not scared, I want to talk to your man.

I don't care if you're not scared, just get the fuck off my phone line.

It's man business, you cunt.

Fuck you, asshole.

Cunt, cunt, cunt.

Now put your man on the phone or go clean or something.

Okay, that's it.

Brush your teeth with OxyClean.

She's got to get her mouth cleaned out with OxyClean.

She's going to spray orange glow on her fucking teeth.

Make sure to say have a magical evening.

Billy Mays MySpace.

Yeah, dirty mouth on her.

Billy Mays has a MySpace?

Are you serious?

That fucking guy.

Are you serious?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, check the mail.

Carlito.

That's funny.

Yeah, what's up?

Make sure to say have a magical evening in every call.

That's right.

You're right.

From now on, everybody has a magical evening.

Athena, I'm sorry you had to hear me say the C word.

That was Carlito, not Carlos that said that, right?

She knows.

She understands how it is.

Any news of Jack Mente today, then?

Yeah, man.

Yeah.

You ever buy anything from a telemarketer, AMD, over there?

Are you afraid of doing that?

Would you ever buy something from a telemarketer, being a telemarketer yourself?

Well, to be honest, what I do,

I actually can't stand telemarketers. I wind them up all the time.

I had some guy come in, rung me up, and asked me to try and sell me a phone.

And I told him I don't believe in phones. I said they're evil.

Okay, what do you sell? What do you sell, like vacations?

I don't trust them.

What do you sell yourself, vacations and stuff?

Well, timeshare, I've sold wills, mobile phones, anything.

Do people actually buy this shit?

Yeah, you get quite a lot of, you know, people that buy it, you know.

But the timeshare business, I wouldn't recommend to anybody.

Like, old people buy this stuff? Is that how it works?

Normally, what do you...

The old people used to buy a lot of wills.

Wills. People buy wills. That's sad.

Oh, man. That's fucking something right there.

Yeah.

The bad thing was, you can actually look up on thisistorkey.co.uk,

type in Britannic House

and we've had a lot of

bad press about it

so we closed down in the end.

That's nice. Good. You got that going for you, man.

Alright. Well, good. That must feel

very fulfilling. Alright.

Awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome.

Okay. Well, that was good.

You know what? I want to call

another one of this guy's neighbors. I actually want to talk

like Billy Mays. Like someone in

Delta Steve

is recommending that I do that.

Yeah, Delta Steve recommends that I call as Billy Mays.

I don't, I can't get into character.

Billy Mays, doesn't he talk like really, like, God, what's Billy Mays, what's he sound like?

I'm trying to remember now.

Use new OxyClean, man.

This stuff really works.

You know, he's like this when he talks.

OxyClean.

New OxyClean.

Like that.

Doesn't he say that?

God, how does he talk?

Hang on, let me try his lips.

That's it, that's it.

He's got to be on YouTube.

Do you think he's on YouTube?

I'm pretty sure he is.

Hang on.

on. Billy Mays. What else? He's got the orange glow. The power of orange. You know how he

says something like that? He's in something shit. The Mays. I had to try to imitate him

because I got to get in his character. Hang on. On YouTube now, stream is probably skipping

all because I'm bouncing it all around. But hang on. Try that hair real quick. Timeshares.

Oh man, I would never buy a timeshare. Like something so expensive from just someone calling

me on the phone? I'd be so scared to do

that, dude. Yeah, but we don't tell

Mitch the timeshare, though.

No.

And then they get flogged at the timeshare.

You're coming really bad. Okay, here's

I think I have a Billy Mays commercial

here. Hang on, let's see what this is.

What should I try to sell them? I'm going to tell them

that this guy's going to have

a garage sale next door.

That's the juice right there.

Okay, so we'll call Daniel Lopez.

He's another neighbor of his right now.

How you doing, buddy?

I think you might have the wrong number.

No, no, it's your neighbor, Billy Mays.

Neighbor, Billy Mays. Is this Danny?

This is Dan, but I think you might have got the wrong one.

No, sir, over here in Via Tivoli.

We live in the same subdivision.

How are you, sir?

Oh, okay, so you do live in...

Not bad, sir. I'll tell you what.

I got a garage sale going on this weekend,

and I want you to come down.

I'm going to be selling all my OxiClean

for three easy payments of only $24.99.

Are you in or are you in?

Um, I'm afraid not.

Sir, why don't you just give me your credit card and social security number and I'll run right over with all this shit.

Are you Puerto Rican?

Are you Puerto Rican, sir?

Um, seriously, who is this?

This is Billy Mays!

Sir, Mr. Lopez.

Mm-hmm.

I understand you're Hispanic.

Mm-hmm.

So you must not have good credit.

We take checks over the phone now.

The Hispanic joke didn't go over well.

The good credit guy.

The Hispanic joke didn't go over well.

That was a fantastic impersonation.

That wasn't that good.

I'm going to call Diane.

Let me clear the line.

Okay.

Better.

Diane Napier is also a neighbor here.

Brayden Ramirez says he's Puerto Rican too.

No, I'm Puerto Rican also.

We're not considered beaners.

That's Mexicans only are considered beaners.

Dupree says that his brother was arrested with a little boy,

an Ethiopian boy, and had crack cocaine on him.

Who is this?

Billy Mays?

That's some sick shit right there.

An Ethiopian boy.

There's no meat on that.

Nunu says, if anybody answers, make sure you get them to confirm their room number.

All the telemarketers' rooms are on a blog.

So if you've got one, you've got them all.

Very good.

Majin is sending me a video.

A YouTube video for Billy Mays.

Thank you very much.

Drifter Knuckles recommends we try to get Bill's number out of his neighbor's.

I don't think his neighbors know him that well.

I really don't.

And there it is.

Everybody's saying the stream keeps buffering.

Yeah, the stream here, my shit is crapping up a lot here all of a sudden.

I don't know what's going on.

I got something going on here in Miami.

I don't know exactly.

Let me try to kill some resources here.

I don't know what would be causing this here.

Let me turn that off.

Fuck it.

Yes, it is a stupid internet, everybody.

I apologize.

Oh, you know what?

I bet you it's YouTube that's doing it.

There we go.

That should have done it.

That should fix it there.

Probably is.

Yeah, I think, you know, because, you know, YouTube, it kind of, when you're done playing

in the video it starts refreshing every five seconds with shit and shit like that yeah yeah

that's what it was you want to go back to it yeah my fault everybody i apologize hopefully that just

fixed it what i just did right now okay let me take a sip of my drink here what are you guys

drinking you guys drinking anything over there milkman what you got drinking over there you

got a milk brownie bag walgreens orange soda oh walgreens orange soda that's harsh milkman what

What do you got over there?

Well, two for a dollar.

Man, I'm having me an ice cold half gallon of milk, man.

Ah, that's sick.

That's sick.

AMD, what are you drinking?

Whiskey?

Nothing but the finest Cronenberg 1664.

Okay.

I have no idea what that is, but it sounds good.

It sounds very good.

Earth Dog is drinking some...

It's a lager.

It's about 5%.

It's really nice.

Let's see.

Delta Steve is drinking Faygo.

Sweet Kisses is drinking Dr. Pepper.

Earth Dog is drinking Sam Adams.

And, yeah.

AMD, do they sell Sam Adams?

in the UK? Can you find a Sam Adams

beer, or is that just an American thing?

Well, San Miguel, but I've never heard of Sam Adams.

Sam Adams, yeah. It's an American

brewed beer. It's a very fine beer.

It's pretty much the only good beer out of America.

Yankee-ass beer.

Warriors drinking Mountain Dew?

Egan Bach is the best beer.

Okay, you got that. Clones recommendations right there.

Okay, okay, okay.

How about we call... Or Alaskan Amber.

Let's try another telemarketer, why don't we?

Let's see here.

Yeah, Francisco's Lounge does not have a direct number.

Did we ever get a number for the bar?

No, Lonesome Loser confirms that Francisco's Lounge does not have a direct number listed.

He said we'd have to try the different extensions of the main number to try to get through.

I don't think that's going to work here, everybody.

That's probably not going to be very successful.

I don't know if the switchboard can get connected.

I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know how much luck we'd have with that.

Let's see here.

What time is it now? 12 midnight?

I don't know. We could try to call somebody.

Let me look at a new news list of people who should be there tonight.

We've got a Mitchell Roth, Director of Finance of the American Telemarketers Association.

We'll call that now and see if we have any luck with this one.

Yes, hello. Hi, I'm trying to get a hold of somebody who should have checked in there earlier tonight.

All right, and last name?

I'm sorry, you broke up there for a second.

Oh, sure, the last name?

Oh, Roth, R-O-T-H.

Okay, let me check and see. What's the first name?

Mitchell.

Yes, I have them in the room. Would you like me to connect to the room?

Fabulous, yes, please.

Okay, thank you.

Have a magical night.

Yeah.

How are you doing there, you old fart?

There it is.

Not bad.

Hey, my name is Jack Valente.

How are you doing?

Okay.

All right, look, I got passed up for the keynote speaker tonight.

I was wondering if you wanted to come across the street to the Grand Floridian and possibly do a counterattack, Mr. Roth?

Yeah.

Does your pussy stink?

Terribly.

Terribly?

Let me tell you something about vinegar.

You know, you get yourself a nice bottle of white vinegar.

Not that apple cider shit.

Huh?

Speak up, bitch.

Hey.

What is it?

I told you, Ray, Jack Valenti, V-A-L-E-N-T-I, and I drive a Dodge Stratus.

You ever been in one of those?

Beautiful ride, beautiful ride.

Nice gray interior.

It's a 96, but I keep it well.

It's like brand new.

It smells like a new car inside.

You got me at a bad time, Jack.

Huh?

You got me at a bad time.

Oh, you doing your old lady?

Yep.

Oh, let me hear her.

Is she hot?

Hey, rock.

That's pretty good.

Okay, well, that's a good sign.

That's a sign that I think the people are in.

That's a good idea.

And I should have got the fucking room number.

Nunu was right.

We need to start getting room numbers now.

I know.

We got to start getting room numbers.

That's a good thing right there.

Yeah, we can't go on the attack until we excrete some information.

We got to excrete the information.

We got to excrete it.

That's what I'm talking about.

Right there.

We will definitely excrete the information, everybody.

Don't panic.

We are working on it here.

We're here at PCU where we are on top of things.

We could excrete the information.

That's right.

Excrete it.

Nunu says if I get them one, I get them all.

That's enough milk, man. Stop that.

Please. Okay, we've got...

I've got a ton of names here that we can try.

Should we try

for Tim Searcy yet? Should we hold on to that card

still? I don't know.

I don't know, man.

Not even a little while.

Okay.

Brianna Clark, manager...

One of my things is he's old. He may go to bed.

Oh, please. He's a young buck.

Brianna Clark is the manager

of member communications.

Right.

Whatever that means.

So we'll try her.

Alright, baby.

Good night.

Are you talking to your old lady over there?

Oh, yeah.

She's not mad at you, is she, again?

No.

Okay, good.

Good.

As long as you're okay, then we're okay.

Clone, when do you want to jump in and try to do a prank call yourself?

When I start to go to bed, I'll give you a call.

Okay, fair enough.

Milkman, you want to give it a shot?

You got the home number here, right?

Okay.

Call the house.

Call the house right quick.

And we'll do that.

In the meantime, I'm going to go back over here and see if I have any updated information

information from anybody in the chat room or just at least acknowledge the people in the chat room

see what's going on give a shout out to everybody looks like we're getting ready to looks like we're

getting ready to turn it up a notch and gear it up into full steam as far as our show tonight is

nunu says to call tim's cell and then his room yes indeed we will do that after milkman's call

randy dandy says he just dealt with a complete grammar moron on myspace whatever that means

and people just commenting on a different calls we did earlier tonight and milkman is now on the

line but we'll not connect him stand by everybody hello how you doing that sounds perfect right

there okay um we're gonna ask for you want to ask for uh brianna clark yeah i'll ask and then you

can like take over man i want you to excrete the information from him okay here i'm going to give

you three names if one doesn't work ask for the other one okay you ready okay brianna clark number

Number one.

Okay.

Raphael Manzen.

Want to spell that for you?

Wait a minute.

Message you to me, man.

Oh, yeah, duh.

Hang on.

Here it goes.

I'm putting it in the 420 room, okay?

Okay.

There, it's open.

It's open.

I sent you a bunch of there, okay?

You got one, two, three right there.

Okay.

Go to the 420 room, check it out.

In the meantime, we'll connect it.

And, yeah, thanks, man.

Appreciate it.

Raphael Manzen.

Yes.

Ask for Brianna first, though.

Brianna?

Yeah, Brianna.

All right.

Frank, this is Whitney.

How may I assist you?

Hi, Whitney.

May I speak with Brianna Clark, please?

Clark?

Yes.

Certainly, one moment.

Thank you.

And she's staying at the resort?

Yes, Brianna Clark, please.

I'm not showing a Brianna Clark.

Okay.

Could it be under a different first name?

You know, I know she's there with the convention.

What about Andrew Jackson?

Johnson.

Yes, Andrew Johnson.

Andrew Johnson.

Oh, Johnson.

Yes.

Okay.

My writing's terrible.

I'm sorry about that.

Oh.

Oh, I do have an Andrew Johnson.

I will connect you through, and you have a magical evening.

Thank you.

You have a magical evening.

Thank you.

Thank you, Milkman.

What an idiot.

Thanks.

Mr. Johnson?

Yes.

Hi, are you having a magical evening tonight?

My name is Jack Valente with the Coronado Springs Resort.

How are you doing, sir?

Doing fine.

Good.

I wanted to confirm, first of all, if you can rate your experience for me in the terms

between 1 to 5, 5 being the highest, 1 being the lowest, on your satisfaction so far at

the resort?

Sure.

Four.

Four?

Okay.

Okay. You're obviously not having a magical experience. Is there something I can do, you know, right now for her to maybe make it a five?

No.

No? Okay. How did you find the cleanliness of your room?

It's been pretty good.

Pretty good? Is it clean? We've had a problem with your room there with the actual bathroom itself. Any mildew or anything like that? We've had complaints in the past. Any issues with that at all?

Not to my knowledge.

Television is working fine?

Yes.

Okay. You've been pre-selected also for a complimentary gift basket as well as two Park Hopper passes for any of the four parks that we have here on Disney property, Animal Kingdom Lodge, as well as Disney MGM Studios, the Magic Kingdom, and Epcot.

If you're interested, I can have that delivered to your room in the morning along with the gift package in time for breakfast.

What time are you planning on waking up, sir?

I will be up at 3.

At 6.30.

Would you like me to set you up with a wake-up call for 5.30 a.m. or anything like that, sir?

From the room.

Okay.

Okay, so you want the two park hopper passes.

Would you be interested in eating at the Animal Kingdom Lodge as well tomorrow evening,

or do you have dinner plans already?

You already do have dinner plans.

Okay, I'm sorry about that, sir.

We'll be happy to compensate you any way we can.

I'm sorry that your service has only been a four.

Here at Walt Disney World, we do strive to have the best service possible,

and I trust you do have a magical evening.

What room number can we send these two tickets for you after 6.30 a.m.?

Close.

What a loser.

So, so close.

I failed, everybody.

I failed.

That was excellent.

I tried.

No, that was excellent.

You did good, man.

That sounded very good.

I goddamn tried.

It was believable.

That's right.

But you know what?

I'm going to wait an hour.

I'm going to wake him up.

What did you do?

Did you say, come from the bedroom?

Yeah, I guess so.

I don't know, man.

That's good.

That's fine.

He was too smart.

He was smart for us.

You know what I need to do?

Zolar is tricky.

Instead of asking for the room number, can you confirm your room number for us?

Yeah, exactly.

Zola says, can you please confirm your room number for me?

Exactly, exactly.

Very well put, Milkman.

Very good.

Very well put.

So, sorry, Nunu.

I failed again.

I fail you always.

Way to go, Nunu.

He's been on for a while.

Nunu says to confirm it for security purposes.

Very good.

Madgoat says to tell them we forgot to clean the betches and they've got cum all over them.

Very good.

blacklight to inspect a room for semen

and feces.

Dope the Steve

suggests we call back his Billy Mays.

Anyway, so who's next?

Who should we call? Milkman? You're not still on the line, are you, Milkman?

No, you're not. Okay.

Now he came off, man. You must have hung up

or I got cut off. I can call right back.

My bad for that. Hang on a second.

Let me get myself figured out here.

You sound better on this line, first of all.

Let me try to call

Miss Hudson again real quick. I like bothering her.

She gets all uppity with me.

What's going on with your old lady, man?

She hung up on me twice.

I've been trying to call you.

I'm sorry about that.

Who is this?

This is Billy Mays, your neighbor of yours.

I was trying to call her.

You know, she said the F word to me.

This is who?

She said that Billy Mays, Billy Mays, your neighbor, Billy Mays.

Billy Mays?

Yes, yes.

I was calling her.

Something came up, Tim Curry or something.

Tim Curry?

Yes, something came up on the ID as Tim Curry, but why are you calling?

Hold on, Tim Curry, you know who Tim Curry is, right?

The guy who invented the podcast?

The guy who what?

And vended the podcast?

Tim Curry?

No, I don't know him.

He's over here now.

I'm on his cell phone.

My home phone battery died.

Anyway, regardless, we have a freaking yard sale coming on Saturday.

I was wondering if you wanted to come by and help out,

maybe help out with the whole cleaning out of the garage and stuff like that.

We're doing it for charity, you understand?

Right.

And, you know, I don't know if you have some items over there you maybe wanted to sell or something,

but, you know, honestly, your wife there, she's got a mouth on her.

No, that's not my wife.

It's my roommate, but...

Your roommate? Well, she's got a filthy mouth.

Filthy, filthy, disgusting mouth on her.

You said some nasty words to her.

Well, she said it first.

She said it to me first, sir.

What, are you calling me a liar now?

Let me speak to her, please.

Was she over there yelling up a storm again?

Well, she's just, she's upset because, you know, the C word was used, you know.

You know what, she called me the S word.

Yeah, wow.

Wow.

I'm just thinking that it's a bit late at night, and, you know, you had mentioned you were calling me for business or something, and...

I said it's a charity thing, and she's obviously against children with AIDS, apparently.

She's probably racist is what it is.

And she doesn't know how to speak to men on the phone.

Well, I'm sorry you had this experience with her,

but she was under the impression that, you know, you were being nasty to her.

Does she clean the house at all? Does she pull her weight over there?

What's that any business of yours?

Because she sounds like she's a woman who doesn't clean the house and doesn't keep up with things.

And I'm liable to go down there and hit her in the head with a Bible.

You're my neighbor? Where do you live?

Billy Mays.

I live at 2738 on Tivoli.

Okay, well, kindly don't call me again.

Hey, asshole.

Look, first, I'm the president of the...

You're going to talk about coming over and hitting her head on the Bible?

With the Bible.

I'll come over there and hit you on the head with my fucking fist.

Let's see you try, homosexual.

I'm the president of the Homeowners Association.

You know what that means?

Homosexual?

Yes, that's right.

I'm a fucking homosexual?

You sound like one.

Buddy, why don't you meet me in the fucking parking lot right now?

Let's do it, motherfucker.

Come on.

Come on, let's go.

You got a woman living in your house that's not even your wife.

It sounds like she's your gay roommate or something.

My roommate, do you understand?

Well, you're not banging her, you must be gay.

And besides, as she just said, I don't need to fucking explain myself to you,

but the fact of the matter is, she's my roommate.

She lives here with me and totally pulls her fucking weight,

but that's none of your fucking business anyway.

Does she suck the pipe?

You know, you motherfucker, meet me in the fucking parking lot.

I'll be right there.

Yeah, let's go, buddy.

All right, faggot.

Wow, holy shit.

That's even better than the fucking conference right there.

That was nice.

The gay guy is pissed.

That's something, man.

Wow, that just made the whole night.

If we don't get any more prank calls tonight, they're just mad.

That's something with the show.

Wow, man.

That's something.

AMD, what do you think of that one?

AMD?

AMD was offended.

Is he even in here?

Yeah, hello, mate.

Hello.

Well, I think that was rather vulgar, and I'm not going to stand for it.

That's funny.

I'll call him back in 10 minutes.

I'm going to call him back in 10 minutes, accusing him of not coming out.

That's funny as shit.

Did you hear that?

You missed that, didn't you?

Athena was busy cleaning the house, like she should be.

Yeah, that's funny.

Call him back in 10 minutes.

Yeah.

Black Box, a.k.a. my good friend Jay from high school, says to call him back, saying he

looked for him, but couldn't find him, and accused him of wimping out.

Delta Steve says I should bring his...

Tell him you're the Golden Gloves boxer and you had your boxing shorts on.

Yeah, I should call back.

I'm Macho Camacho.

I'm retired.

I live in Clearwater.

I won't kick your ass.

I should go back as Jack Masterson saying that, my friend, we should get Billy.

What is Billy Mays?

We don't have his address.

That's the problem right there.

Might be it right there.

Wow.

Get his ass kicked.

Yeah, that's awesome.

Very good.

Good work, everybody.

If we know his approximate address from the neighbors, you see, we got an idea where he's at.

Yeah, well, I gave out the other neighbor's address.

Yeah, ring one of his neighbors and tell him he wants a fight.

Motherfucker, you know, I should have given him the other guy, Daniel Lopez.

I should have given him his address.

Yeah, I'm Daniel Lopez.

Oh, God.

That's what I should have.

We'll get both of them out in the car lot.

Yeah, I've got bad news, though.

The phone died.

The battery died on the phone.

Oh, shit.

So we've got to back it up.

Athena, do you mind?

You've got the extra phones, right?

Athena, grab the other phone right from the master room.

Put this one in the cradle in the guest room.

Okay.

The other problem is I need a phone card, though.

The phone card is safe.

Oh, no, I don't.

I have it here.

I got the actual card itself here.

I just had to do it manually now instead of speed dial.

Here we go.

We're okay.

We're okay, folks.

Don't worry.

We're okay.

I don't understand.

I charge that damn phone all day, so it should have been fine.

Maybe that's the problem.

Maybe that's what it is.

You have to make sure that the contacts are clean.

Sometimes when they get a little bit of dirt on them, they don't charge very good.

Yeah, I hear that, man.

Well, wait a minute.

it. Lonesome sent me the address. Oh, yeah.

He sent me the address for

the guy, for Billy Mays, 2738.

Okay, well, that's the one I gave

him, but I have the unit number now, which is

what's important. Okay. That's

funny. We should get Billy Mays' ass kicked

by this guy,

by Norman Hudson. That's some shit right there.

We're going to make news tonight. Yeah, we are.

Billy Mays.

If you're going to use Lopez's name, call us Eddie Garcia.

Yo, yo, fuck it.

Yo, Billy Mays is getting his ass kicked.

I'm going to vote for them and the police.

Yeah, I guess.

Otis and Sharon Wolf is also here, other neighbors.

We'll go back to that, folks.

We're going to call the conference again, though.

We're starting to heat that up.

Nunu is sending me more names of keynote speakers for tonight.

These are people that we tried to call earlier tonight but weren't there at the time.

I'm assuming that they're slowly arriving to their rooms, which is good news.

Was this on the cradle?

Was this charging?

Good.

Excellent.

Good.

Yes, it is working.

Awesome.

We are in business, everybody.

We are in business.

We decided to go house to house to sell you stuff.

I'm just talking shit.

Yeah, that'd be funny.

Okay, well, here comes the next prank call, everybody.

We're going to call the conference again,

try to get someone else on the line, everybody.

See if we can crack this egg wide open again.

Hopefully this works this time.

Jesse, you know I know you.

Can I speak to Mrs. Portman, please?

One moment, please.

Thank you.

And the first name?

Bonnie.

She hasn't arrived yet, sir.

Are you serious?

They're still holding the room.

Oh, my God.

Are you insane?

What about Mr. Lyons?

What is the last name?

L-Y-O-N-S.

One moment.

Thank you.

Wake up call.

Jim.

Yes, he's right.

Thank you.

I have a Jim and a James. Which one?

Oh, geez. James, I suppose.

What city are they from?

I'm sorry?

What city are they from?

They're with the conference, ma'am. I don't understand. I'm here with transportation with mirrors.

I don't understand what the difference between Jim and James is.

It's two different people, sir, and I don't want to connect you to the wrong person and wake up the other person.

It's 1230 in the morning here.

It's 930 over here.

Hey, go up by James, okay? Please put me through.

Hello?

Hello, Mr. Lyons?

Yes.

Super, how are you, sir?

Good.

I'm sorry I didn't catch you at a bad time. I understand you just got in your room, correct?

I did.

Okay, my name is Jack Valente. I'm calling with Disney staff, and we're looking to see if I can get, first of all, how you're rating the quality of your room between 1 and 5 tonight.

Jack, I gotta go to bed, dude.

Oh, come on, dude.

Sir, sir, this is good. I'm offering you two free Park Hopper passes for tomorrow.

Jack, Jack.

Sir?

Sir, free park hopper passes, sir.

Mr. fucking Lyons is too busy to talk to me, apparently.

Jack, he is.

Jack Lyons.

Jack, sorry, sorry.

Busy here.

I'm going to play those.

I'm going to go to sleep.

I'm too busy here, for God's sake.

Jeez.

Anyway.

I'm busy jacking off right now.

I'm going to go to his room and just stay at his desk.

Yeah, yeah.

Whatever.

My audio is way too loud right now.

And now he knows what it's like to be bugged by a telemarketer.

Yes, he does.

All you gotta call one of them is Billy Mays.

Billy Mays.

Don't forget to tell him to have a magical evening.

Have a magical evening.

Blackbox says I should call saying I received a complaint from Billy Mays.

That's a good idea.

I'm definitely gonna call that guy back again.

One more time at least tonight.

See about that.

That guy's an asshole.

Call another neighbor.

Yeah, I'm gonna call that neighbor again.

guy. Make references

to teleservices, etc. during the

calls. Good idea, Nunu. Very good

idea.

We're going to call next, yeah?

Oh, call Tim Searcy's cell phone.

Yes, that's right. We're supposed to call Tim Searcy's cell

phone. I've got that right over here.

Mr. Searcy's cell

phone. Okay.

One moment, everybody. That's coming right up.

Dun-dun-dun. I'm not available right now,

but if you'll leave your name, number, and a brief message,

I will get back to you at my earliest opportunity.

Yeah, Tim Searcy's cell phone.

Yeah, it wouldn't work.

I don't have his code shit.

Tim Sturgeon sounds like a handsome man, though.

What's Lonesome Loser sending me over here?

Let's see here.

Coronado Resort Housekeeping Direct Phone Number.

Awesome.

We have a direct phone number for housekeeping.

If I only had a room number, we could totally do that.

That's something right there.

Interesting.

No way.

We've got Scott Goodrich, who's the director of Capital One.

I wonder if he's there

That's interesting

Probably not

Capital One

That's a credit card company

They're actually here

In the land of it

Yeah guys

I'm out of here

I'll call in a minute

Okay dude

Thanks man

Appreciate it

No problem

Nice to meet you AMD

Later clone

Be well mate

See you that night

Clone Homegrown

Checking out for the night

We'll be calling in

In a second to

Attempt a prank call with us

Peace out

Yes peace out it is

Peace out clone

We already called Andrew Johnson

I don't know what's in his wallet

Andrew Johnson

We already called him

He sounded old as hell

Terry Williamson

Did we call her?

You didn't call Manzonar yet

Manzon, that's right, Raphael Manzon

Very good, let me check here

Raphael Manzon himself

Brianna Clark we tried for

Yeah, well, it ranked through but no one picked up

That's right

Let me see if I can get through to Raphael Manzon

Ask him what?

Ask him what's in his wallet

Do you speak Spanish?

If I need to talk to Rafael Manzon, please.

This is a guest.

Yes.

Give him the last name, please.

Manzon, M-A-N-N-Z-O-N.

Z.

Thank you.

I'll let him know. Have a good night.

You too.

Ah.

Damn.

Please leave a message at the tone or for operator assistance.

Not for sure he'd be there.

That was a good trick I did, too.

Son of a cock.

Wow.

Okay, we continue.

We continue to try this.

Madigode asks, what does magical experience mean?

Magical, they always say that.

Everything's magical at Disney.

Everything's magic this, magic that.

They have a magical time, magic all over the place.

No, she did not say have a magical evening in Spanish.

She just said have a good night.

That's all she said.

Speaking of stuff like that,

we have a request from Earthdog to play this

because it broke up when we tried to play this

at the beginning of the show.

so let me play it here while I regroup real quickly.

Listen to this.

And now for something completely different.

Dr. Lego.

Hi, it's Eric.

On mental discrepancies.

Can I speak with Edward or Connie, please?

Hi, Connie.

My name is Jay.

I work for KBBN 95.3 FM.

I wonder if I could put you on the phone with Eric.

We're live on the air right now.

Hey, it's Eric the Dale Show.

How are you?

Good.

We're at a new radio show in Nebraska.

How are you?

Doing great.

Watching Nebraska football.

phone. All right. Yeah. Listen, I have some good news for you. You're sitting down. Hold

on. Let me open the envelope. The envelope says, Penny and Edward just won $1,000. Congratulations.

Well, thank you. Did you pay the bills? Is this a joke? You just won. We picked your

name out of the drawer. You want to know how? You want to know what you can buy with the

money? Yes. It's a good investment. Vibrators. God. I'm trying to get ahold of Richard Dingle,

please. Richard Dingle is not here. He's in the nursing home. Oh, I'm sorry to hear

that man hey ma'am how are you what's your name my name is mrs dingle mrs dingle hi my name is

eric i'm a dj here in here in washington a radio station i have good news for you yeah sitting

down no sit down i have good news for you okay let me know when you're sitting down i'm sitting

down okay hold on i just hope it's legitimate i mean i'm a little skeptical about it i don't

understand well what are you gonna do when you get the money i'm not gonna buy anything i'm

I'm going to put it in my savings account so I can help pay for my husband's nursing home.

How about you buy a couple of vibrators?

I'm not interested in that.

You don't want to buy a couple of vibrators and a couple of dildos?

No.

No?

You just take another envelope and get somebody else's.

Let me ask you a question.

Is your pussy all dried up?

Just forget me, okay?

Your pussy's dried up, isn't it?

That's rude.

Going to a bad place with that one.

Dr. Lego

High Pitch Eric

Franktheworld.com

PCU Radio

Okay, very good, very well done, an Earthdog production

Shut up!

An Earthdog production I was saying

Any thoughts on that gentlemen?

AMD, what are your thoughts on that?

It's really good, like I was just saying on the chat room

There's a guy who works in the Labour Club

Who I'm a member of

And basically he sounds just like

High Pitch Eric

He's one of the committee men

I'm going to get his name

and second name and then we have to prank him because tell you what he is

just like him you know maybe you can get high-pitched to ring the label club

start abusing them and just say it's whatever this guy's name is but I will

definitely get his name right on right on brother you do that hey man are you

a gin drinker yourself do you drink gin I know it's a British drink well I do

have spirits now and again but I'm not a fan of gin I'm all whiskey or vodka but

all the time i drink beers beers mostly okay fair enough i'm a gin drinker myself that's pretty much

all i either have beer or gin i'm a gin person i'm out of time oh you know i did have tonic son

of a gun i just mixed it with a bunch of iced tea for nothing blah amv's got some really fancy

tell me about your optics optics yes i have um a full um bottle of seven comforts um vodka i've

I've got some gin, and I do have some normal whiskey,

and plus a few beers in the fridge.

But what is nice is dandelion, burdock, and vodka is very nice.

Okay, interesting.

Interesting.

You guys have a different way of drinking out there, I'll tell you what,

but you guys are very powerful drinkers as far as the British and the Scottish

and the Irish are concerned.

How much do you love Europe for the most part?

Oh, yeah, I love my drink.

Nothing wrong with that, man.

It's a free country.

That's what I say.

Okay, let's see who else we can call over here.

Lonesome Loser, if I could get a damn room number,

he sent me a ready number for housekeeping

as well as bell services at the Coronado Springs Resort,

the direct numbers.

So all we have to do is crack one of these damn people's

freaking ass room numbers.

So here we go.

We continue.

See if you can get one of the women to answer.

One of the women?

Okay.

Yeah, because you can tell them you're going to give a family pass.

They're worth $35 each.

They're suckers for that.

Let's see.

Angela Morris.

She is a contact center service VP, apparently.

We will try to call her.

We also have Chris Zolads.

Chris Zolads.

That's a funny sounding name.

These are people with other companies, though, who may not be there.

Zachary Rice.

Ryan Berry.

I already tried that.

Okay, I don't know.

We'll try anybody.

I'm not going to pick at random here.

We'll see who we get.

So wish me luck, folks.

See if I can get a hold of somebody here.

Right.

Be with you.

Thank you.

I'm tired of waiting.

Bullshit.

Good evening, this is Sam.

How may I assist you?

Let me speak with Tim Searcy, please.

What is the last name?

S-E-A-R-C-Y Searcy.

First name is Tim?

Tim.

Good night, sir.

sir. Thank you. Mr. Searcy, how are you, sir? Good. Good morning. This is your 1246 AM wake-up

call. Are you awake? Yep. All right. Are you ready? Yeah. Hello, my baby. Hello, my honey.

Hello, my ragtime gal. Do you hear the train going by, Mr. Searcy? Yes. The train of opportunity

going by? I'm not going to. And the name of Jesus has passed you by, sir. How does it

to feel to be such a failure. You're a failure and you're an abomination on the United States

of America. I'm embarrassed to be an American because you, sir, were born in the United

States. I challenge you to go to Canada and change your citizenship. Do you know who this

is? Mr. Searcy. Mr. Searcy, sir. Mr. Searcy, sir. Mr. Searcy, sir. Mr. Searcy, you cannot

not escape us you cannot leave us we will not relent we will be victorious in this fight i

command you to respond you win this battle sir but we will win the war thank you tim seriously

everybody tim seriously have a magical evening now nunu says to call his cell just to piss him

off you know what i think i'll do that call his billy mays there's no way i'm gonna get his

drone number out of him so i had to do something yeah he knows it's happening before he's not

He's not going to give his room number out.

I know him.

No.

That's why I had to do it that way.

Have a magical evening.

This is Billy Mike.

Hi.

We could have said, ask him what's in his wallet.

Please, driver.

I'm not available right now, but your name, number, and a brief message,

I will get back to you at my earliest opportunity.

Thank you.

For a voice message, press 1, or just wait for the tone.

To send a numeric page, press 2 now.

I got bad news.

At the tone, please record your voice message.

When you've finished recording, you may hang up or press pound for more options.

Hello, my baby. Hello, my honey. Hello, my ragtime girl.

Something, something, something.

Baby, my heart's on fire.

Have a magical evening from the Walt Disney World staff.

If you wish upon a star, something tells you where you are.

When you wish upon a star

Your dreams come true

I'm Walt Disney.

I'd like to thank you for coming down to my hotel.

I'm not dead.

I'm frozen under Cinderella's castle.

And as long as the Jews are still alive,

I'm still here to haunt you, Mr. Saucy.

Now do your best.

Thank you very much for staring at my hotel and have a magical evening and white power.

I don't know what to say about that.

I don't know.

It's just all that.

All he's doing is saber rattling.

He's saber rattling.

Anyway, I guess it was buffering up.

Whatever.

I'm having trouble with my computer today.

But Kim Jong-il is saying that war is coming to U.S. oil.

So there it is.

Anyway.

Let's see here.

I'm going to play some music right quick.

That is not the music I was trying to play.

Okay.

Delta Steve says that he's pissed off about Team America.

I agree.

It's war, everybody.

It is war.

It's coming to us.

Watch out.

Earthdog brings up a good point.

We should go back to Billy Hayes' neighbors.

We're going to call Billy Hayes' neighbor once again.

Watch out now.

You're going to do Eddie Garcia and call his up as?

I guess.

Watch out now.

We're going to call Billy Hayes' neighbor once again and see what we can do with this.

What happened?

You didn't show up, man.

What the hell are you talking about? I was outside.

Bullshit, I was out there too.

Yeah, well, you must be a fucking invisible man because I was out there, brother.

You must be a homosexual yourself.

I must be what?

A homosexual because you didn't show up. You hid behind your old woman.

You keep using the word homosexual, man. You got some kind of latent problem there, dude?

No, it's you the one that's homosexual.

Well, like I said, you have a hang-up with homosexuals.

Until you...

You know what that usually indicates, don't you?

You know what? The burden of proof...

that if you've got a big hang-up with that,

it's because you're late and homosexual, you know.

No. Who says that?

That's what psychiatrists say, dude.

Well, you know what my pastor says?

I really don't give a flying fuck what your pastor says.

Yeah.

All I care is about what you say to me and my roommate.

Well, listen, I'm an attorney.

Your pastor can say whatever the fuck he wants.

I'm an attorney.

If you want to fucking meet out in the parking lot, brother, do it.

Look, why don't you come over?

I waited out there for you for ten minutes.

I, I, you can, why don't you just come to my place, dude?

What?

Come to my place.

Come out to my place.

Seriously.

We'll come over here.

We'll talk like men.

And then we'll have a penis sword fight.

I ain't gonna talk like men to you, brother.

I'm gonna bust your fucking jaw.

Okay.

Well, here.

I'm...

Look.

You come over.

I'm at my boy's house.

Danny Lopez.

Where do you live, man?

Two...

Unit 230A.

What's that?

230A.

Unit 230A.

You come over right now.

You know where I live?

Yeah, I know where you live, son of a bitch.

You're right down the street, motherfucker.

What's my address?

You're at two...

You're building 2722.

You think I don't know what you did to my car, you faggot?

What I did to your car?

You fucked up my car.

I fucked up your car?

Yes, you did, motherfucker.

You gotta be out of your mind.

I never fucked up anybody's car.

You got that lesbian over there living in your house

who doesn't even clean the damn place.

Excuse me?

You got that lesbian over there down there.

Your house doesn't even clean the damn place

like a woman should because she's a lesbian.

Listen, what do you got against me, dude?

You're a faggot who messed up my car.

Messed up your car? How?

Danny's gonna kick your ass.

How did I mess your car up, dude?

You scratched it up and you tried to steal my stereo.

Hold on, let me hear what he says about my car.

What? How did I mess up your car?

You scratched it up when you tried to steal the radio out of it.

I never touched your fucking car, dude.

Then why is it you won't...

I never touched it.

Why don't you come help me out? Let me talk...

You're talking about the car. A minute ago you were doing a questionnaire.

Why don't you come out with the real truth, you little pussy?

You shut up, you cunt.

Oh, I'm a cunt, but you're a pastor and all this other bullshit.

Where do we live?

I'm not a pastor, bitch.

Where do we live?

Building 2722.

Wrong answer.

Bullshit, bitch, cunt.

Oh, man.

Man, oh, man.

I'll go right there.

I'll let my dyke bitch tam a little.

Those people are funny, man.

Wow.

Those people are funny.

We've got to put them on our list.

She thinks I'm a pastor, Ted's pointing out.

That's funny as hell.

Wow, man.

That's funny.

She has to take over the phone.

That's too funny.

Oh, man.

Wow.

He does sound like a...

He's a gay, I think.

He's a gay, for sure.

Yeah, he's a gay.

Totally.

He's a gay, everybody.

Until he proves it, he's a gay.

Anyway, I'll call him later, maybe tonight.

I'm going to go too crazy on them.

But, yeah.

What about offering some peaches to him?

Yeah, we might as well do some shit.

Let's call housekeeping to his house or some shit.

Yeah.

The conference, we've had more luck with those people than we have with the stupid conference tonight.

Took a trip out to Disney for nothing today, man.

What the hell?

No one over there, either nobody picks up or no one wants to cooperate.

Anyway, okay, so at this point, we've tried Raphael.

We've tried Andrew Johnson.

Jesus Christ.

AMD over there.

Come on, now.

Brianna Clark.

Terry Williamson.

Did we try her yet?

i don't know lisa defalco we tried no luck tony portman didn't it is not checked in yet apparently

they're still holding the room tim searcy we talked to already that was fun carl jacobs i don't know

bill morris i don't remember i forget who do we call who didn't we call man i should have been

keeping a list down i forget now shit okay um let's see america talk to him once and we get

him on the phone again we mess him up okay well who are the keynote speakers that we had at the

beginning of the show that weren't in yet let me see here let me go back to that who i did and did

not call james lion we talked to lions portman isn't in yet walker was walker was the first one

we called right and it wasn't in yet okay we'll try steve walker next then that's we talked to

andrew johnman yeah he was old as hell but he hung up in the end in the long run okay all right we'll

try uh steve walker again play this one here we go hi zachary rice please okay what is the last

Rice? Like the food? R-I-C-E?

Exactly. I see it here. I'll be happy to connect you to the room if you have a bad thing to do.

You too?

Someone's gotta frickin' answer.

The

person in this room is not a gay person.

It's not gonna work.

Could you speak Spanish, please?

Can I help you?

Hello, yes, I need to talk to Mr. Manson, please.

Good evening, can I help you?

Mr. Manson, Mr. Manson, can I...

I can't hear you.

Hello?

Yes, hello?

Ma'am, listen to me.

Damn it.

She's full of shit, she can hear me.

I don't know.

Dude, this sucks.

We need to get through to at least one person over there in that frickin' ass place, man.

This sucks balls, you know?

How many numbers have we got left?

I don't know.

At this point, I don't know who I've called and who I haven't.

I've been bouncing around.

I've been going down the list.

We called Searcy, Jacobs we tried, Morris.

Did we call Morris?

I don't know.

That's on...

Okay, we'll try Morris next.

We've got Roth, Clark, Manzon, Johnson, Rice, Berry, blah, blah, blah, Williamson, yada, yada, yada.

Our Milkman's calling in.

Hang on, everybody.

Hey, Milkman, what's up, man?

Hey, listen, I've got somebody here on the line that could maybe help us out with some calls.

Okay, Milkman, you gotta...

You gotta get yourself off the, um, meet yourself on the computer real quick so I can talk to you.

You there?

Hello?

Yeah, I'm here.

Okay, anyway.

Who do you got on the line?

Sweet Kisses, you're on the line.

Okay.

And she's gonna connect us to somebody?

She can call us.

Excellent.

That's the thing we need.

Okay.

Sweet Kisses, say hi.

Yeah.

Sweet Kisses?

I don't hear her.

Phone's on mute?

What's going on?

Okay.

Now the phone's disconnected.

I don't know what happened to you.

I heard her for a second and the phone got disconnected.

The phone.

Lost the phone.

Milkman lost the phone.

quite bad. You there? Embarrassing me,

damn it. You're embarrassing me. Nunu's begging

me to call the other people.

The people from the other companies

and stuff. I don't know if they're going to be there. I'll try,

but I don't know if they're going to be there, dude.

Scott Goodrich with

Capital One. Joseph

Sensgranti.

Blah, blah, blah.

We just need a freaking room number is all we need

at this point, man. It's all we need.

If we can get a room number out of one of these people.

Alright, Milkman, if you're going to call

Sweet Kisses, that's an excellent

That's an excellent idea, but you just got to mute yourself on the computer so we can hear you on one end.

You know what I mean?

Because you're coming on on both.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

No, I'll mute the mic as soon as she gets on the air.

Okay.

I'll make sure she can get on.

Okay.

We'll have her call back in.

Most definitely.

Okay.

Hold on.

Okay.

In the meantime, I don't know what to do here.

Hang on.

Let me see if I can call someone in the meantime.

Let me go into the archives real quick.

It's 1.10 a.m., but we still have the same amount of listeners that we've had all night.

So apparently we're doing something right.

Alright. You guys are still listening. I thank you all for listening so late.

Yes, it is. Hang on, let me connect that.

Okay, I'm here. What's up? Who we got?

Alright, what's up, girl? How you doing?

Alright, alright. Ready to do this?

Um, hang on. Let's see here. Who are we going to call this time?

Uh, to last its effort, I'm going to give you three names to ask for, okay?

I can just barely hear you.

You can just barely hear me. How about now?

A little better.

Okay, I need you to ask for three different people, okay?

Okay, number one is Angela Morris.

I don't want to talk to a girl.

Huh? You don't want to? Oh, no, no, you just got to ask for them.

Oh, okay.

You ask for them and I take over. Hang on.

We got Chris Hodges.

Who? What's the second name?

H-O-D-G. Are you online? You're online right now, right?

Yes.

I'm going to send you the information real quick. Hang on.

Go to the chat room. I'll find you here.

You tell me the second you get this.

Okay, I sent it. See those three?

Okay, just ask for them in order.

If the first one isn't there, then ask for the next one, then ask for the next one.

You know what I mean?

Okay.

Okay, hang on.

Let me connect you.

Hang on.

And I appreciate it.

This helps out a lot.

Hang on.

Hang on, everybody.

Chris Hodges, please.

How do you spell the last name?

H-O-D-G-E-S.

I'll be happy to connect you.

You have a magic name.

Thank you.

Hello, Miller.

Thank you.

What are you doing?

Hello.

Mr. Hodges, how are you doing, sir?

Yes.

Hi, this is Ralph Littlejohn.

I'm calling with guest services.

How are you, sir?

Yes.

I was concerned with the possible complaint that we had with noise regarding your area.

Have you heard any loud noises tonight, sir?

Sir, in your room, we've received several complaints of loud noises coming in around your room,

and we were just making sure that you hadn't been kept up by anybody possibly making any loud noises,

flushing the toilet a lot.

Has anything like that happened tonight?

Who is it?

My name is Ralph Littleton.

I'm a column with guest services here at the Coronado Springs Resort.

I've received a complaint from your guest next door that someone was flushing the toilet a lot behind you,

and the person next to you was also complaining,

and I wanted to call to make sure so I could track this down and make sure that you're compensated.

We're trying to make sure you have the best experience possible, have a magical evening,

and I wanted to apologize for the bad services you've had tonight, sir.

Okay, well, I've been asleep since like 9.30, so I haven't heard anything.

anything. Okay, I apologize, sir.

We're just trying to locate the

person who keeps making all this loud noise.

You haven't heard any loud noise at all today, sir?

No. Okay. I want to

compensate you with two Park Hopper passes

and a free meal

at the Animal Kingdom Lodge

for whenever you'd like. If you want to have it tomorrow,

Tuesday, or Wednesday,

you're more than welcome to stay as long as you want

here at the resort. We can even upgrade

you to the Disney Swan if you'd like.

It expires in a year.

If you don't have to do it now, if you want to come

come back down to Orlando. We'll pay for your flight

down to Orlando again. Free stay. You can go to all the parks that you want.

I apologize for the inconvenience that you've had tonight, keeping you up.

If there's anything I can do for you tonight, sir, feel free to give me a call back. I'm here at Guest Services.

You're positive that you haven't had any

loud noises or anything like that tonight, sir? That's right. Okay. For security

purposes, if you can just confirm the room number where I can send the package to you,

And they'll be there, are you waking up at 6.30 tomorrow for the conference, sir?

Yes.

And you're in room 115, correct, sir?

No, this is not room 115.

It is 115.

Not, no.

What room is it?

Building 17.

Building 17?

7B.

So you're in room 7B, sir?

Who is this?

Again, sir, my name is Ralph Lillijohn with Guest Services.

I'm trying to make sure that you get the best service possible and have a magical evening.

If I could just please, like I said, we're trying to, this is a complaint, a gentleman, apparently he's a Mexican, has been flushing the toilet a lot, playing loud music on his TV, we're just trying to track down exactly where he's coming from, like I said, you're more than welcome to come down, back down to the resort, we have a free compensation for you, we have open bar at Francisco's, have you been down to Francisco's yet, sir?

getting fucking close we got the building now he's in building 7b man i'm trying my

hardest yeah i'm trying my absolute hardest oh god that was so close

ask if he's in in 7b 7b but is that room 7b or building 7b how's that you know we had a chance

to take a map of that place that building you said building yeah me and the fiend had a chance

to take a picture of a map of the location and we didn't damn but there's only one building there

though oh shit you know what next you had to do was just walk up and look at the numbers on the

building and get an idea what the numbers would run oh shit i know we should have written down

this stuff when we were down there i was kind of nervous too there's people watching and shit

man we got good pictures they always play dumb with the front desk yeah i know we played dumb

with the front desk they're probably on us hey milkman that was thanks to sweet kisses though

we're so freaking close

if your line is still on

she's on right now

no I hung it up on accident I should have kept her on

that's my fault I apologize we'll have her come back

you want me to call back because she's still on

yeah we do okay let's use our brains

here if he's in room 7B

is it safe to say that maybe he's in the

700 series room do you think

I'm thinking maybe room 701

maybe 702 or something like that

yeah I'd say probably

maybe if I call and ask for room 700

I call and ask for room 704

Get the person there to answer

And say is this Bill

Frankinson no this is so and so

Okay thank you sorry to bother you and hang up

And there it goes maybe that'll do it

Yep yeah

I don't know son of a bitch I gotta take a piss dude

Yeah if we can get one

One number we know and get somebody to answer

Got it yeah

Shit that was close that's the closest we've gotten all night

To cracking this open

We need a dumbass like Jack Valente

though. He was more than willing to give the information

out. Hang on. Milkman, you're calling me, right?

Yeah, I was. Milkman, you're calling me, but I really

need to take a pee break really bad.

Like, nobody's business, you know what I mean?

Hang up real quick and call back. Give me like three

minutes and I'll come back, alright?

Let's be quiet. Answer it.

Answer it? Okay, hang on.

Are you there? Okay, we're back.

Get into the bathroom now. I'm awake to come back.

Okay, mute the computer, first of all.

Mute the computer. I'm gonna play a song.

I gotta take a piss, because if not,

I'm probably going to...

My bladder's going to explode, literally.

I've really got to pee really bad.

I'm on my fifth drink tonight.

Exploding bladders are not cool.

No, it's not cool.

That's not cool.

And I have medical insurance right now.

All right.

I'm going to play this song.

I'll be back in, like, two or three minutes,

and we're going to try this again.

Hang on, everybody.

Thank you for hanging in there.

It's super late.

It's almost, like, 1.30.

I appreciate all of you.

We're going to get this done.

I promise.

He's going to go to the bathroom,

and we're going to wait right here and be quiet.

That's right.

We're right back after this, folks.

folks. Hang on. We're back, everybody. I'm

PCU. I'm sorry. We lost internet

there temporarily. I apologize.

Thank you, all of you who are still listening

tonight. You're all very patient.

And I love you all.

How are you doing? Sweet kisses, too.

Okay, good. So we're still here.

Good deal.

Alright, the way it's going right now, we're going to try

one more time to get a

room number.

If we don't, we're going to end it

as far as the telemarketers conference is.

We got close, but we had no cigar.

guard. We tried our best. Hey, Carlito, Sweet Kisses said

that she will try to get a room number and then see if the guy wants to meet her in the bar

afterwards. Okay, maybe she'll try that. Yeah, she might have better luck than

I do. That'll work. After that, Sweet Kisses, we're probably just

going to have to try to call one more time to that guy who we've been fighting with all night

and get her to come on the phone and start

cussing with that woman and then you take over and holler in the background. Yeah, there we go.

I like that idea.

Okay.

Who's our next victim, then?

Who can we try here?

Talk to Chris Hodges.

We've got Bob Tate.

Okay, anyway.

Sweet Kisses, you're online, right?

Still, you're in the chat room still?

Okay, good work.

I'm sending you three more names.

Try.

Actually, no.

Ignore that.

And then Joseph, right.

And I'll send you a third one just in case.

Let's see this one here.

Bob Tate.

Oh, he's the one from Capital One.

Yeah, that's the one I want to get.

That's the one I wish we could get.

We'll do Scott, then Joseph, then Bob.

Let's see if we have any luck with this.

Okay, everybody, we're going to make one more go at it.

See if we can get the guy at Capital One.

So bear with us.

We're right back after this.

...why Goodrich.

First name was, I'm sorry, it was...

Scott.

I knew it was a test.

I'm really sorry, ma'am.

I don't have anybody by the name of Scott Goodrich.

I know Bob Pate.

And you're saying T as in Tom, A-K-E?

Yes.

But under Robert, no.

And let me go back.

T-A-T.

T-A.

T, Tom.

I'm sorry.

I thought you were saying cake, T-A-K-E.

I apologize.

But over the telephone, it's very bad connection.

I don't have a Robert.

Let me go and see if we have it as Bob.

I don't have a Bob either.

I'm looking property-wide.

I'm looking at all 27 of that person anywhere on Walt Disney World Resort.

Neither one.

Can't sponsor.

Who?

Can't sponsor.

Because we have a really bad connection.

Say that again because there's a moaning man in the background.

Sponsor.

S-O-P as in...

It's taking too long.

It's not going to work out, my dear.

Thank you for trying, though, my love.

I appreciate it, though.

I'm sorry.

You're a trooper.

No, you tried your best.

We tried as we fucking can.

Thank you very much.

That was my first call.

Hey, no problem.

Thank you, though.

Bye-bye.

Bye.

As it is, we tried our hardest.

Yay, sweet kisses.

It was a try.

How long is this conference in town anyway until?

I don't know.

Oh, we even have a...

Last for two or three days.

Wait a minute.

Pezboy comes through with a breakthrough.

Oh, dude, Pezboy had a map to the damn place.

Pezboy came through with a map.

Oh, shit.

And he's got building 7B rooms are $7,500 to $77.93.

Son of a...

Oh, man, but it's so great.

All right.

We're going to have to do this.

Look, he's right.

Look at this.

He's got it right here.

Bro, try a number.

Pez Boy, it's too late.

It's like 1.43 in the morning, though.

Wow.

Dude, now it's time to do wake-up calls.

I know.

Shit.

I don't know.

Yeah.

It's got to happen, man.

You think?

I don't know, man.

Yes.

Oh, do it, man.

Try one with the room number this time.

Oh, man.

Try and ask for a direct room number.

So we get the room numbers now.

Okay, good.

We got that.

Warrior said to hang up.

We hung up.

All right, fine.

oh man you guys are killing me here okay we'll try a room number we'll try a way look

just call off tomorrow okay i'm gonna do the same i'm not working tomorrow

telemarketers i'm not working tomorrow we're gonna be anti-telemarketers tonight

okay i'll try one wake-up call and that's it hang on hang on i was supposed to mention here

we got breaking news from asia again all right so the white house reaffirms commitment to defend

allies in the region, according

to CNN. What else have we seen

here, Athena? That the White House

is in no military...

Hang on. Nuclear test

constitutes a provocative

act, according to the White House.

North Korea could become 8th country to

openly conduct a nuclear test, according

to CNN. What else do we have going on here?

I don't have anything else urgently,

but apparently

the White House is in talks

with Japan and China as well with the

the situation is if they're taking the situation seriously seriously because being the time that

it is right now freaking 145 in the morning and the white house is talking about it but it's

confirmed white house is in contact with china and south korea over the situation so it is a

serious situation here everybody about what's going on i predict an invasion i predict open

war in in north korea and the korean peninsula i predict the second korean war here everybody and

And by the summer of next year, President Bush was informed of the North Korea event at 10 p.m. Eastern Standard Time on Sunday evening.

So apparently the nuclear test was at 9.30 p.m. Eastern Standard Time here on the east coast of the United States.

Does anybody care? I don't know.

KDK in the chatroom says, there was no need to fabricate a war.

After all, all they had to do was wait a few years.

KDK is very right.

The V-Less says California is going to get nuked.

North Korea, admittedly by the United States, has the ability to hit the west coast of the United States.

Rumors are that they've actually launched a missile into Alaska.

They have the ability to hit Hawaii.

Pearl Harbor, if you know what that is, Japanese hit Pearl Harbor.

North Korea is more than able to hit Pearl Harbor with their current missile technology with a nuclear weapon at this point.

It is admitted at this point, ladies and gentlemen.

Here we are, everybody.

Welcome to what the Bush administration has brought us into.

This is a world we live in now.

MST3 Clay in the chatroom says,

Taking North Korea seriously is a bit late for that.

Very true.

Davila says,

What's North Korea going to do?

Shoot us with rubber band guns?

No, they're going to shoot us with nuclear missiles, dude.

That's what's going to happen.

They are crazy people.

They are not sane.

You've got to understand.

technically still at war with north korea everybody the korean war never ended killed

millions of his own people tortured him to death he is worse than sanam hussein is

ever you got to understand technically when no one wants to admit technically the korean war

never ended technically we are still at war with north korea it was an armistice technically the

whole dmz was an admit a total failure exactly south korea and north korea they built the line

they built it up and they said

okay we're going to stop the war for now

until we come to an agreement

and the agreement never came

so technically the Korean war has never ended

it's been going on since the 50's

we're still at war

and now the other side has a nuclear weapon

and they have the ability to hit

our seat of

power in the Pacific

which is Pearl Harbor

I don't know what to say about that

I wouldn't be

surprised if they don't try

to take over South Korea

because that's where all the world's

Korean products are coming out of.

Samsung.

Look at all the shit they make.

Phones.

DVD players.

All kinds of electronics.

Radios.

Cars now.

Now coming in.

South Korea.

Military alert has been raised.

This is the world we live in now.

Shots and cars.

Yeah.

Everybody doesn't care.

Seismic activity at suspected news site.

per the white house confirmed everybody new north korea is a nuclear power now i mean what's the

worst case scenario here you got a country like north korea with with a nuclear bomb tested

equal to 550 tons of tnt per the associated press it's confirmed everybody they join in with

they join in with iran against us lonesome loser confirms here breaking news from lonesome loser

king jung il calls george bush poopy pants and bush responds by saying king jung il is a booger

eater we are we're taking it too far but seriously folks it's not a laugh it's it's in and the villa

says kim jong-il has a girl's name i agree okay that is true milkman what do you say we try this

again when's when's this end this telemarketers conference on tuesday wednesday monday when does

it end you have any idea i think maybe tuesday i don't know if it went to wednesday or not

we could try again tomorrow it might have went to wednesday we could try again tomorrow night

Let's try a room number.

Let's just hit one room number.

Ask for a room number.

Okay.

I'll try.

Just see what the fuck happens.

I'll try.

We're going to try one more.

Because now they're wise to us asking for names of people in the conference.

Now we'll just ask for a room number and just see what happens.

Okay.

And I'd like to recognize and thank Pez Boy for coming through with his breakthrough.

Very well done.

You are the man.

Thank you very much, Pez Boy.

Right on, Pez.

That's right.

Okay.

We'll give this a shot.

We'll do a wake-up call, and we're going to call it a night.

And I dare to say we'll try again tomorrow night

God help me

I need room 72

I'm sorry

7612 please

And the guest name in that room please

Jack Valenti

Sorry sir that's not the name that's connected to that room

Oh god please don't tell my mom

Okay fuck it I give up

We're getting close

That's not going to work

Yeah I know I know

Yeah piss

Piss.

Piss, Nunu.

We tried, man.

We tried to help you out.

Anyway, okay.

Folks, I tried.

We had a good show tonight, though.

Yeah.

I mean, we had fun.

You know, we're up until, God, 2 o'clock in the morning.

Got 50 of you listening here.

Not bad at all.

We had some good pranks, at least.

And it's 6.51 AM.

Yeah.

And we got to break the news of...

Almost 40 people in the chat.

Is there really?

Is there that much?

Holy shit, yeah.

There is a lot of people in the chat room.

Dude, I'd like to thank everybody.

And everybody, give yourselves a nice pat on the back for being here tonight.

Thank you very much, everybody.

Hey, call back the Oxy Queen guy.

We've got to call back one more time.

Get Oxy Queen.

God, man, you're killing me, dude.

I could get Sweet Kisses to come in as a woman.

Oh, jeez.

All right.

And start an argument, and then you can join in in the background.

Breaking news.

South Korea has suspended aid shipment to North Korea.

Was South Korea aiding North Korea?

Are you fucking serious?

Jesus, man.

Get sweet kisses on the line

He's starving people and everything

I don't know

I'm going to sleep dude

I got three places to go tomorrow

For possible job leads

I can't stay up anymore dude

This is irresponsible of me

We tried

Milkman thank you

This will be the last call then right

I can't do anymore dude

Everybody's tuning out

It's time to go

Milkman thank you

AMD

What time is it over there where you live right now

Thank you.

What time is it where you live?

What is it, like 7 o'clock in the morning?

It's 6.53 a.m.

Holy shit, dude.

You're a trooper, bro.

You're a trooper.

I appreciate you being here.

Oh, yes.

Only for PCU.

It's been an honor having you on here tonight, sir.

Don't be a stranger.

stranger thank you very much i will not be don't worry all right my friend we'll try this maybe

we'll try this again tomorrow if i have enough time i can try this again tomorrow with more

with more resources maybe we can actually get through to one of these people we'll get a room

number you know correlated to a name and we can pimp them out maybe we'll be lucky i don't know

we'll do some serious recon we'll do some serious recon i don't know if i could do that but we'll

try okay milkman you want to take us out of here real quick make it short though man don't

don't do the normal take us out of here but give us the version take us out of here all right man

i want to thank mad man for the wonderful irc chat boxing room here dr lego for the fantastic

ear all tickling stream here provided to us especially katie k man our men to our lord

on here katie k thank you for having the community and recognize that carly is a brilliant

Also, I'd like to thank Clone Homegrown, AMD, our special guest tonight over the satellite link, our UK representative and lawyer.

Also, I'd like to thank Sweet Kiss for joining me.

Very good first try.

Also, I'd like to thank especially you, the listeners, because it's all about you, and we do it all for you.

We pay to give this entertainment to you, and I hope you enjoyed it as much as we do.

Thank you so much.

Winsome loser.

The hardest working man in PC.

By God, thank you.

What can I do without you?

Pez Boy, great recovery.

Thanks a lot.

I'd like to thank everybody for listening.

And back to you, Big Carlito.

United Nations is to react to the unprovoked attack, apparently.

Wow.

This is craziness, dude.

I don't know what to say.

Dude, this is a special show, man.

It is.

It'll be an interesting day tomorrow, everybody.

I would suggest listening to the news.

I don't know.

Most of you people don't care about this kind of shit.

But, yeah, we'll see what happens tomorrow.

This is going to be all the rage.

That's because these kids that are alive don't remember all the nuclear bomb shit.

I remember when I was a kid, they showed you how to duck under the desk

or stand in a door frame made of concrete in case of a blast, man.

I mean, I still remember that shit.

I remember being a first grader, second grader, and they would still teach us that.

They taught us how to duck and cover and all that stuff, man, back then.

I mean, I'm 27 now, but, you know, I grew up in the, you know, I was born in 79, grew up in the 80s, and they told us, you know, when we were taught to learn, you know, Russia's the enemy, the Soviet Union's the enemy, they're going to kill us one day, hate them, and expect the worst, and fucking stuff, and, God, I don't know, whatever.

I can get you that video tomorrow if you want.

Please do, please do, we need to brush up on our ducking covering.

Yeah, I will, I'll send it over.

I appreciate it, thanks.

Thanks.

AMD, like I said, thanks for being on, man.

I know it's super late, but you did a great job, man.

I appreciate you being on.

No problem at all.

You're the man.

Milkman, thank you very much.

Thank you, KDK.

Thank you.

I have to thank everybody out there.

Pezboy, thank you for coming in at the end here.

Lonesome Loser.

I have to thank people like my good friend Jay Blackbox out there who tuned in for so late.

Everybody in the chat room.

Joe Rosenthal, KDK, MSC3Clay, Earthdog.

Thank you very much for the high-pitched Eric stuff.

Everybody, Ted is in there.

It's so late.

KDK, like I said already.

Nunu came through tonight.

Lonesome Loser came through tonight as well.

I appreciate everybody.

If I'm forgetting anybody, I apologize.

Pro-fuse.

I want to throw a big shout-out and high-five over to Mr. Ted.

Thanks for the pranks that you sent me.

I love it.

That's right.

Okay.

Okay, and Sweet Kisses, of course, also tried, you know, and that's it.

I don't know who else to thank.

That was a good debut call.

Yeah, I know, I know.

Well, here it is.

We're out of here, everybody.

Thank you very much.

Have a good morning.

Have a good week.

God bless you all.

I hope I'm here to talk to you.

We are at war.

Check the chat topic or stay tuned.

We may have another show.

That's right.

Maybe tomorrow.

Before the conference ends.

If I'm able to tomorrow, we'll try to break this bitch again.

You are listening to a replay of Madhouse Radio.

Well, I think you should fucking hang up or I'm going to find out who you are and punch your fucking face in.

How's that?

Be sure to visit us online at madhouselive.com.

Calls (19, 49 min of 2 h 4 min)

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