2007-09-06 Show

Who plays?

What happens in America?

Well, we steamed your ass in World War II.

What do you have to...

We never did.

And who helped you out just now?

You piss off, woman.

Don't talk to me like that.

We don't need you anyway, bitch.

Shut up.

Fuck you.

Call me up soon, you stinky fucker.

You are listening to the Madhouse Radio Podcast.

What's up, everybody?

Good evening.

Music's loud as always.

How are you doing?

Fuck.

Madhouse Radio's on the air for the first time in a long time, right?

Six days.

We did a good show on Saturday if you caught it.

You know, this is a new mic and it sounds like a fucking horse ass.

I'm in a bad fucking mood

I'm not sure if we are able to be heard

in the syndicate at all

I've got way too much shit going on

and this is too much, too fucking much

this is too much for me to deal with at once

yeah, anybody, everybody, thanks for listening

I'm understanding that I am coming through my cam mic

well that's a bunch of shit, isn't it

let me fix that, give me a second here folks

this is wonderful

as opposed to the time being

you're just going to hear me through the cam mic

so I can talk really loud

and I'll try to fix that

If not, I know that if you are a Syndicate listener, if you're a Syndicate listener, you can listen to us on Syndicate Radio, the server room, U.S., 8812, something like that.

Just go to SternSyndicate.com, I think is the website.

Anyway, well, thanks for having us on, Dino and everybody else who's listening to us on the extended Madhouse Radio Network tonight.

We're live.

We're here.

It is me by myself because Milkman is not available tonight.

Thank God.

Sorry for Milkman not being here tonight, everybody.

buddy excellent we're here we're going to do some prank calls i assume if we have any numbers coming

in if you have numbers to send in do so on aol instant messenger or yahoo messenger madhouse

radio again aol and yahoo instant messengers you can reach us at madhouse radio anyway if you have

msn messenger like a bunch of you fruits do out there you need to get with it but seriously though

So MSN Messenger users, madhouselive at huntmail.com.

I'm being advised to tell everyone to click on the little white box next to the speaker icon with the red X on it.

I guess that's what it is.

So everybody, click on the little white box next to the speaker icon with the red X on it.

For the time being, I'll get it fixed later.

Right.

If you want to reach us here toll-free tonight, the toll-free line is not open right now as usual at the start of the show,

but it will be open later.

The toll-free line is 1-888-278-8509.

Again, the toll-free line here tonight, where you can call us toll-free.

That's why we call it Toll-Free Bitches.

1-888-278-8509.

Again, that is the toll-free line.

We'll be taking your calls in a moment.

Anyway, if you missed all our contact information, be sure to go over to MadHouseLive.com.

Oh, look at that.

The phone's already ringing.

What did I say?

I said no callers yet.

Turn that off real quick.

I specifically ordered you folks not to call in yet, especially if you're from Houston, Texas.

Lonesome Losers is checking in in the chat room.

Lonesome Loser in the chat room.

What's up, Lonesome Loser?

MadHouseLive.com is the home for that, as well as 98.6 The Mouth.

You can subscribe to the podcast.

What else we got going on there?

Let me see.

I got my list here.

All right.

So, yeah, podcast, the newsletter, and prank archive is there, of course, a show archive, and, of course, more.

So go to MadHouseLive.com and join us there.

For the time being, the prank call is on deck for tonight.

We already have numbers coming in from Australia.

Sydney, Australia, from Lonesome Loser.

Alex has been trying to get in contact with Kathy, apparently,

and he suggests we say that we are friends with Emma or Kathy.

All right, so apparently something's going down in Australia,

in Sydney, Australia, home of the 2000 Olympics.

Actually, okay, so here's the skinny.

It's a number for someone who was a former roommate of some girl named Kathy in Sydney, Australia.

They were both friends with the actress named Emma Roach.

Best known for her role as Danny on the TV series Heartbreak High.

Music is way too loud tonight.

God damn it, dude.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

And I hope this mic sounds good.

Like I said, this is the very first time I used the mic.

I literally plugged it in and tried to use it for the first time.

So there it is.

If it sounds like crap, please let me know.

If it sounds good, please don't let me know.

Keep me thinking.

We also have Sanford and Son Inc. Plumbing.

We have the Rhino Records in Claremont.

Claremont.

That's a funny way to spell Claremont, isn't it?

And Dasturly Deeds Lawn Service.

We have many, many more pagan icons, horny bail bonds.

We've got a bunch of stuff here for tonight.

I've got to open a beer.

So I hope you all have had a good week.

I have had an interesting week.

I had two interviews today.

I think I did well.

I'm not jobless, but I'm looking for a new job because I hate where I work right now.

It's a very depressing place to work at.

News that we have for tonight.

Oh, yeah, we have a death in the family, of course.

Milkman, cut the music off.

All right, man.

We have a death in the family.

Mr. Luciano Pavarotti has now died.

So we send this out to Luciano Pavarotti

The fattest singer in the world

Is dead

That goes to Luciano Pavarotti

Nice beer slam

Drinking Youngling Lager tonight

Luciano Pavarotti

Very famous opera singer

We'll have one of his songs on the break tonight

Coming at you around 12.30pm

Be sure to catch that

Turd Burglar is checking in

He's going to call in a little bit

And that's a good idea

Turd Burglar man we had fun doing a bunch of conference calls on Saturday

I, Turd Burglar, and Ted, last Saturday, for eight people, the only eight people who were listening live,

we conference called Walmarts and McDonald's and all this weird stuff.

You have to check it out at manhouselive.com.

It's the newest episode on the podcast.

It is called the Conference Special.

Be sure to check that out.

In other news, wrapping up the news, rather, we have the new iPod was released today, announced today.

It will be available in a few weeks.

It is basically a clone of the iPhone without the phone service.

Basically, it gets Wi-Fi, so you'll be able to browse the net on your iPod.

It's all touchscreen, and you can share your music with everybody else around you who has an iPod as well.

I suppose you can probably sync it up to your computer without connecting it with a wire also.

But the only problem is $399 for a 13-gig iPod.

excuse me for sounding rude but i have about 30 gigs in my ipod right now and uh yeah that would

suck so i don't understand basically because they wanted to stick to a flash drive instead

of an actual hard drive itself you end up with a 13 gig uh 13 gigs of space in the night in the

ipod which is really shitty because i that holds like maybe i don't know maybe 20 25 movies if you

want kind of retarded so i don't know what apple was thinking in that case but uh that's what they

they did, that's their prerogative, so the new iPod coming at you, the iPod Touch, and

in final news, I forgot what it was, we had one more story here, and I just don't feel

like remembering what it is right now, so fuck it, I don't know if you guys were listening

at the beginning of the show, but I was playing some prank calls from previously, we had the

Dr. Nargis prank call, and we also have one, two, something, I don't know, there's some

other fucking prank call I was playing earlier, and I don't have the time to find out right

going on here in the syndicate chat room real quick and i'll get to it in a second i really

hope guys in a syndicate that you can hear my show if not dude i really fucking apologize i'm

fucking retarded and i'm half drunk right now i'm about to get high so deal with it anyway so uh

prank calls are coming right up i believe i will go ahead and call this sanford and sun

sanford and sun inc plumbing in temecula california temecula california um and again as i said we

probably will have a reclude that has already made contact luther says he'd like to call into

of the second half

of the show

and also of course

Turd Burglar perhaps

joining us later on

for some prank college

we look forward to that

and for the time being

I'm going to have to do

some quick fancy footwork

here to get my music

up correctly

I forgot to open it up

in time

you can see how organized

I am here everybody

but again as I said

visit madhouselive.com

and be sure to check out

Zolar Vision tomorrow

Zolar Vision live

at 10pm Eastern

Standard Time tomorrow

on the Stern Syndicate Network

there's your plug Zolar

and yeah thank you to

Zolar and Dino

for letting me be on

for the first time tonight on Syndicate Radio.

Awesome.

Okay, so, right.

Like I said, we are going to be calling Sanford and Son Plumbing.

We'll be back in just a moment with the first prank call of the night, everybody.

You fucking ass.

Fuck you, Mike.

I guess we're not going to talk to Mike, are we?

Dickhole.

All right, what else have we got here?

Goons Grocery on Martin Luther King Boulevard.

You know, there's nothing good going on, everybody, on Martin Luther King Boulevard,

so i guess you might as well just call them and find out exactly about that hey how's it going

this is the grocery store this is the grocery store asshole is this the grocery store well i

guess my nice little setup doesn't work as i expected it to beautiful great

oh this is a really shit show tonight hi everybody okay moving on i really don't feel

like calling australia yet i like to wait a little later i like to get those international

calls out later um we do have dasturly deeds lawn service we're gonna go ahead and call

the Dastroly D's lawn service.

This one is in

Evergreen, Colorado.

Hang on, everybody.

I'm just having number problems.

No, I got a new mic

and it's supposed...

The mic's supposed to work

on the phone,

but the mic doesn't pick up

on the phone,

so I still have to talk

on the phone.

You know what I'm trying to say?

Hey, uh...

Hey.

What's that?

The phone bridge, what's that?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I heard of them.

Okay.

Okay, this again.

All right.

That's cool.

Yeah.

Actually, let's see

what's going on, dude.

Do it.

Secret conference, everybody.

That sucks.

You shitting?

Face down.

down. Okay. Okay. Yeah, fuck you, Turnburn. Yes, you're supposed to report all shits to

this number, sir. Yes, sir. That is. You need authorization before you take a shit. There's

only one other rule, and that rule cannot mute while taking a crap. Flushing. That's

right. That's a very thick, yeah, that's a thick one. Very, very thickness. Yeah, you

can tell how, you can tell the thickness. Yeah, you can tell by the gurgling. Right,

that's true. That's true. You can tell. You can tell. You can tell if it's swirly.

That's right. True, talented shit connoisseurs can tell that. That's right. So what's this

Do people do...

Son of a bitch.

Hey, Turd Burglar.

All right, so what...

Explain this to me.

What is this all, man?

We're live on the air right now.

God damn it.

Oh, fuck.

What a bunch of retards.

Good one, Turd Burglar.

I appreciate that.

And thank you to Turd Burglar

for completely stopping the show on its heels.

Like it was going anywhere anyway.

Okay, seriously,

they were calling the Palm Shadow Inn.

This is in Indio, California.

It's like bad demo.

Yeah, and like I said,

in the background,

that was somebody just randomly calling numbers.

Yeah, you get the kids.

They go into, like,

ho-ho-ho boner kind of thing, you know?

I heard that.

I heard, but we were all there, dude.

How old are you again?

You're in your 20s, right?

Yeah, I'm 25.

What the fuck is up with that?

Are you still going to Iraq or what, man?

You're stationed where exactly right now, if you want to tell us?

If it's private, don't tell us, but...

I am in New York.

It's actually...

Unit.

There's a little church coming out of your girlfriend for you.

That's awesome, dude.

Yeah, yeah, I got it.

Oh, boy.

Okay, what's this?

Okay, it's a new...

Yeah, I know about it.

I was using it yesterday, as a matter of fact.

Let's tell you what.

Let's just do what we normally do for now, all right?

And, dude, kudos to you, man.

That was an awesome, awesome show that we did last Saturday, bro.

The Copper Shows.

I don't remember.

You don't, dude.

It's all on my website.

Go to the Madhouse site.

It's up there.

I edited it the next night.

I was like, dude, this has to go up, man, because you're going to do some crazy shit.

I remember talking to you after.

I don't remember.

No, it was good.

You were puking drunk at the beginning of it, and at the end of it, you were actually

sober and coherent at that point.

It was pretty good.

Yeah, I think we were on until late.

Yeah, no, we were on until like 3, I think.

Yeah, it was fun.

It was fun.

Anyway, I got the palm shadow in.

Do you want to take it or should I?

We have had no successful prank calls at all yet tonight, sir.

Not yet.

We haven't had any success yet.

I haven't been able to get through to anybody yet, so.

Well, that's because I wasn't here yet.

I know.

Fuck it, you know.

You know, we're jinxing this, man.

What's up?

Hey, lonesome loser, send some numbers to me.

I'm in the chat room.

Yeah, yeah.

Lonesome, yeah, whatever you're sending me, send them to Turd Burglar.

He's going to sit in for a little bit here or so.

All right, man.

So you want to call the palm shadow in?

You cool with that?

Or should I take that one?

Yeah, well, you call it.

I'll let you talk.

Oh, boy.

Okay, here comes that, everybody.

Stand by for the first prank call yet again of the night.

Turr Burglar, Carlito, and the man.

98.6.

No.

Are you able to hear music right now?

Nothing.

I am.

Yeah, is this the Palm Shadows?

What's going on?

Do you have any vacancies?

Spaces you guys have.

Yeah, how many spaces?

I need specifically spaces, dimensions.

You need what?

I need your spaces.

I need to know how many spaces and how much are your spaces.

Okay, I don't know what you mean.

You mean how many rooms do I have?

Spaces.

Your spaces, lady.

Come on.

Spaces.

How much space do you have?

Room is a space.

Oh, Jesus.

I'm sorry.

What do you need?

A space.

I need spaces.

Enough for four people.

How much are your spaces?

Our spaces are 59 per person.

59?

Per night, I mean.

I'm sorry.

59 per night.

And what's the deposit on that?

I need the full amount.

Wait, I know.

That's what I'm saying.

Like, what are you going to do with my card?

Are you going to put an extra $100 on hold or something like that?

Again?

For my card when I check in.

No.

I run your card through, it goes right through them.

Even shake.

$59.99.

What's your tax rate over here in India?

10%.

Jesus Christ, 10%.

It's six and a half cents where I'm from in Florida.

That's where you go back.

You southern people are all like that.

Go back to where you come from.

Go back to where you came from.

Yes, you are.

You southerners here in California are a bunch of jerks.

Okay, I guess we are.

I guess I'm not going to do business with you since your spaces are not tax deductible.

Okay, so you have a TV in the rooms?

Yes.

There's one TV per space, right?

Okay, so what will happen if you throw the TV out the window?

How am I going to pay for it if you don't have nothing on deposit?

Honestly, how are you going to make me pay for it?

You can't make me pay for it.

I'm going to have your credit card.

It's got the MasterCard logo on it.

It depends on how it goes through.

You have to be friends with Senator Gray.

He said that you have to accept it any way I say you take it.

You've got a MasterCard logo.

Who says that?

Senator Gray.

Senator Gray. Senator Gray. He's a senator.

He wrote the...

No, but you can't make your own rules on the fly. That's not permissible.

You know what? Do you want a room? I'm closing in five minutes.

Yes, I'll be there in about four minutes, but have you ever heard of the United Negro College Fund?

No, I have not.

You've never heard of the United Negro College Fund, ma'am?

I'll have to be besides a credit card.

It's legitimate, but it's a debit card, MasterCard, gold card.

It's got numbers on it.

You know what? If you want the room, come before I close.

I'm closing in about three minutes.

Where I'm from, we don't sash on the phone with men.

We respect our men and our elders.

You owe me a rib.

You what?

Give me a rib, turd burglar.

Fuck.

That's right.

Yeah, women.

All you women listening, you owe Carlito and turd burglar a rib each.

Hey, Eric, do you make your calls with...

No, I make my calls with AT&T.

All right, you want to call Goon's Grocery?

Turd burglar.

Yeah.

All right, it's your turn.

He's old as...

You heard him say the Dave thing?

You ever heard that?

Dave's not here, man.

You know what I'm talking about, little cheech and chong?

Dave's not here, man.

Hang on.

We'll call Killer Shrimp.

Killer Shrimp.

Okay, Killer Shrimp.

Yes, sir, my friend.

I got him.

You take this one.

I'm putting it on mute.

Yes, I wasn't paying attention.

What happened?

Shrimp.

Yes, yes.

Is this a shrimp place?

We do international orders.

My associate, he's...

Well, your order is?

I'm going to take an order.

Do you take orders?

Yes, I do.

I order to go.

Oh, very good.

Now, do you know what international means?

You don't know what international...

I don't know what international means, but, I mean, are you going to come pick up the shrimp?

Sure, yeah, we'll do that.

No, no, no.

Put them together.

International order.

Put them together.

Sound it out.

What would you like?

Sound it out for me.

International order.

Sound it out.

Come on.

Just sound it out.

Say international order.

Say it.

No, it's not a joke.

I don't take jokes at all.

I don't appreciate that, ma'am.

Okay?

What can I do?

This is America.

Thank you.

I need an order of shrimp scampi.

The shrimp and bread.

Here we go with the red tape.

The red tape, man.

What's that?

What do you have?

I don't want the red tape is what I don't want, first of all.

You don't want what?

Red tape.

Rice?

Red tape.

Do you know what red tape is on a shrimp?

You asked the cook, the chef about it because obviously maybe I should be talking to a man.

There is a...

Very good.

Go get him.

No, there's a language barrier.

Excuse me?

You said no to me?

I'm a man.

I am a man.

Asian or something?

Well, I'm just saying because you said it's a language barrier.

Is it Asian?

I speak Spanish, man.

That's cool.

Pasa, man.

Come on.

Let me talk to the...

I need to ask about the shrimp.

I don't want...

Ask them if there's any tape rojo on it.

Tape and take the phone with you.

I need to hear it, please.

When I say jump, you say how high.

So just do it, okay?

Be hung up.

What was my deformity?

I was actually lining a bowl.

I wasn't listening.

I'm sorry.

Seriously?

Awesome.

I could have been like, I keep dropping the phone.

All right.

We've got saddle tramp leathers here we're going to call, all right, dude?

All right, good.

That sounds drunk off his ass.

He's like, how long have I been talking about this?

All right, hang on, dude.

All right, so tell me more.

So you get to state, you don't have to go to northern Iraq because you're old lady's preggers, right?

That's cool.

Now, northern Iraq, that's actually a pretty good cut.

I hear that northern Iraq is actually a lot nicer than the rest of the country.

Well, I mean...

Fuck, dude, are you serious?

Isn't that Kurdistan, though?

Northern Iraq, like above the parallel?

That's right.

Yeah, that's right, because they run right there at the mouth, right,

where Iran and Iraq kind of connect into the Persian Gulf, right?

Yeah, that's right.

And from what they saw, the local people are actually appreciative of us.

There's still a group of insurgents causing trouble there.

Well, yeah, the Kurds, from what I understand, are pretty cool with the Americans.

Yeah.

Because we kind of protected them with the no-fly zone after the Persian Gulf War.

So they're pretty cool.

The Kurds are pretty cool with the Americans.

Yeah, yeah.

But then the Turks hate them, though.

Turkey wants to invade them or something.

So, yeah, you might see some hot action.

And apparently Turkey's, like, really mobilized on the border right there with northern Iraq.

So, yeah, watch out.

Yeah, and, you know, we're pretty much there to babysit.

Seriously?

Yeah, dude.

Yeah, so you're part of the surge, man.

I hope you come.

You'll be fine.

I'm sure that thing will end soon enough.

Soon enough, soon enough.

I don't mean to put you on the spot.

I know this says you can't, so are you supportive of the current administration, the way the war's being handled,

or do you rather not talk about it?

I respect that as well.

Well, I mean, I've talked to a lot of people in the Army.

Who wants to go to war?

Who wants to go to some piss-ass country like that, right?

You got a point.

You'd rather not be there, but fuck.

You want to call...

Yeah, get some music here and stand by.

Everybody, Turd's going to come back and do a prank call here for us.

He's going to set it up for us.

I don't know who it is, but I'm sure that'll be good.

Again, if you haven't gotten there yet, please go to MadHouseLive.com.

For those of you listening for the first time tonight on Syndicate or any of the other MadHouse stations

that are out there listening tonight, please visit us at MadHouseLive.com.

Let us know what you think.

You can send us a request a prank right there for free.

and you can listen to our show.

We've been on the air for about two years now.

And, again, we thank you, Dino and the Dinoians.

Hello?

Hi.

Hey, is this the pub?

That is just the pub.

Maybe a pub.

In Australia.

He sent me a residence in Australia, dude.

This is Sydney.

I'm going to send you the story.

Are you by the computer now or are you still smoking?

In Lonson.

I thought you had the international card ready.

My bad.

Bye, dude.

Hey, thanks, man.

That's cool.

All I'm saying, yeah, you can dip into them

if we're in the show or whatever, man.

Do it.

Well, you know, these actually, they pass these.

Oh, shit.

Cards, yeah.

Is that the VA, I think, that gives them out?

Or someone does, right?

The VFW, I think, right?

Fuck is it, dude?

I forgot.

I remember those.

VA.

Yeah, one of those gives them out to the soldiers when they come home and when they're leaving,

they give them a phone card to call home.

That's right.

That's right, that's right.

I've got the Siam Square House of Thai Food and Noodle.

Just came in hot off the press from San Francisco, from Lonesome Loser.

We've got the Finger Licking Bucataria.

I was about to say, you know, they're not before I moved here to New York.

Right.

What is that?

Is that Mexican or it sounds like...

Yeah, that area, Taqueria.

In Texas, there's a lot of Taquerias.

I had no idea.

Yeah, but I literally live like three blocks from it.

It's so outrageous.

As I was saying, yeah, sadhouselive.com and 98.6themouth.com, everybody.

Be sure to visit those websites tonight.

98.6.

No.

He said no.

Be back with a prank call.

Fuck.

Lonesome Lizard scared him away.

That's what Zolar does.

If you ever do a prank with Zolar on a show, you just hear all of a sudden someone...

You hear him saying, hey, how you doing?

And then you're supposed to take over.

It's really wicked.

Wicked. Really, really wicked.

Do you listen to Zolar? You listen to Zolar, right?

What about Stacey? Yeah, I haven't heard him in a long time.

PCU's dead. That's all there is to it. It's dead.

And I'm not giving you drama. I'm just saying PCU's dead.

All it is is KDK, and he's not even doing a show anymore.

He burned all his bridges, KDK did,

and he made an ass out of himself in front of a lot of people,

and a lot of people took offense to him,

and now he's got no support at all.

It was bad. Eventually, that's right.

That's right, my good friend.

All right, yeah, Stacey Skank, I dial.

Yeah, so you got bad luck.

All right, cool. I'm going to dial Stacy Skank over, everybody.

Stand by. The next prank call of the night is coming right up.

Dude, I don't know. What do we do? Let's call this Thai food place, all right?

What's that?

Okay, you got it. You're going to do the next one?

Yeah, I'm trying.

You should totally try conferences again, man.

Hey, this is Kirk. I'm from my associate's. He's got a lobster town.

How's this here? How are you?

Yes, I have lobster claws for hands, and I can't dial phones, so he actually punches the buttons for me.

I'd like to know if you guys are still seating tonight, sir.

We're where?

Seating in the house?

In the house.

The Tramp residence.

Yeah, the ladies don't take particularly interest in me because of my deformed lobster claws.

And, well, I mean, this is the Tramp residence.

I was wondering if you folks are still seating in the brothel tonight.

Seating in the brothel?

Yeah, your house is a brothel, is it not?

With the last name as Tramp, I thought Tracy, you know, maybe she...

Wah, wah, wah.

No, my brothel...

Sir, I don't appreciate your tone.

I don't take threats kindly, okay?

Okay, neither do I, motherfucker.

I haven't threatened you, sir.

I'm calling the police.

Hey, stupid, I asked for a business proposition.

He can't stop me, Turd Burglar.

Call him back.

Immediately.

That's what I'm saying.

Call him back immediately.

He's going to call the cops, everybody.

Watch out.

He said, call him in.

Call him again, man.

People are going to find it interesting to see Carlito do a Jack Masterson call live on a webcam.

Isn't that the gay people?

That's it.

That's the one, right, Turd?

Yeah.

It was like totally glory holes.

Like all we kept saying for the first half of that show on Saturday, dude.

It's just fucking hilarious.

I thought I sent that to you.

Well, you heard it, right?

I was here playing it the next day.

I drank it.

So I drank again.

Yeah, that's a vicious cycle I've ever heard of one, my friend.

Oh, look.

Did Lonesome Loser send you Raymond C. Nile?

Thank you for listening.

Madhouse Radio.

MadhouseLive.Radio.

Play that to the trash cans.

Yeah, play it.

Let's hear that.

Can't accept.

Left the voicemail, everybody.

All right.

I'm learning how to walk for me.

I'm really trying to put it on.

I got it.

I'm learning how to walk.

your back and i break your neck and i'm gonna knock that down and i hit you with that

i say we have the australian number here to call well we'll do that next oh when when state just

fucking walmart fucking walmart just walmart please this is called walmart hey ma'am are you

there don't go yet shit no australia i got the australian woman to do the australian number

with the international card all right so anyway this is a number for someone who was a former

roommate of some girl named kathy you got that story there this is zolar style here call back

too he said call back or we call i know right fuck did we miss awesome that's scary wow is it a box

for the kids that are out there like scary that uh does that are you sure that works you're on

your cell phone are you sure because i know maybe a cell phone might fucks it up the coding you know

what i mean maybe it didn't do it right maybe so and you change the address that nonsense one so

they can't track you down by the address either huh was that really it's all bumpkin oh that's

awesome dude so you can you can do as much damage as you want all for the kids you're listening

right independently owned uh cell phone cell phone um that that's some crazy i know like the

guys i used to work at they had their toll-free line was hooked up to like an a and i it was like

a f like f what is it called some it wasn't like traditional telephone it was actually like isdn

lines and all this shit something like that but anyway yeah they could tell you couldn't block

your number at all you could star six seven all you wanted to it would still come up it would

basically like my toll-free line it uses a and i to a certain extent because i can actually if

If you star-6-7 my toll-free number, it'll come up as blocked on my phone,

but I just look at the screen on the company that I leased my toll-free line with.

It'll tell me, even if you block it, it'll show me, like, exactly where you're calling from,

and it gives me your address, your phone number, and the name that's on the bill at that house.

So you'd still be safe, but, yeah, that's why I do it.

I've seen that guy that he said, so you're in Houston, right?

And I said, no.

Oh, fuck.

Seriously?

But, you know, I can do, which, you know, I'm not doing right now,

but i usually get charged though if i've tried it before they've charged me a fee they charge

they charge a fee per per connection actually oh from the home phone yeah i don't know about

the cell phone you got a point the cell phone they'll just transfer you straight up yeah they

just they'll get their call on their on their um on their whatever box in their via box and they'll

just transfer right through you got a point i guess so yeah but if you're on on the landline

yeah they'll they'll charge you like a connect feed it's like something like a dollar i think

to do it actually something insane like that yeah i'm gonna call this guy back probably

Yeah, we'll see if he can teach us some shit, right?

Yeah.

It's kind of funny.

A little talk.

Tried to ask him.

Hey, dude, wait a minute, man.

You got A&I, man?

Oh, that's funny.

He's like, what the fuck were you talking about?

Like, fuck you.

Either that or I just...

Yeah, something happened.

It's all right, man.

Whatever.

I wouldn't be too worried about it.

We're within...

It's not that late over there.

Anyway, we got more numbers.

We might do some more.

We got...

Did you get those numbers from Lonesome Loser?

I see a bunch of them here.

Actually, I'm fucking around with my computer right now, and I just closed out the chat room.

Oh, fuck.

We're calling Australia, remember?

I was telling the story before that guy called back.

All right, so the story turned burglar here.

Let me get that here again.

Just a moment.

Okay.

Where is Milkman?

Dude, is he even on?

I don't know what is up with Milkman, dude.

Anyway, this number's for Alex.

A girl named Kathy in Sydney, Australia.

They were both friends with an actress named Emma Roche,

who's known for her role as Danny on the TV series Heartbreak High,

and was also on a popular show called Neighbors in Australia, apparently.

So it's like, it's a former roommate of some actress, apparently.

Well, we're friends with an actress, a big Australian actress.

They've been trying to get in contact with Kathy,

and she suggests we say we are friends with Emma or Kathy.

So we're going to be friends with Emma or Kathy, and we're going to fuck with her.

You know what I'm saying?

Okay, you ready?

Everybody, here comes the next prank call of the night, folks.

Maybe the cable got cut out.

Again, we got a number in England, Manchester, England.

This is Philip Toon in Manchester, England.

All right, bro?

That sucks.

It's just like to the United States is the only way it works, okay?

I guess.

I'm just assuming.

Yeah.

Yeah, I don't have a, I don't have a, I don't know where that Lonesome Illusion card went.

Shit, dude.

I mean, I don't even think I programmed it.

No, it's not, it's nowhere to be found, nowhere to be found.

All right, man, I got one more in America, though.

I got Paul and Jennifer Pansy.

Pansy.

Pansies, and we got the Frederick Bum, also.

Called the Pansies.

It's called the Pansies, right?

That's what I say.

All right, everybody, hang on.

Here comes that.

Next prank call of the night in just a moment.

Getting all my balls for all my nights.

Serenade recorded call.

That song is about Phil Collins getting cheated on, man.

Didn't know that until the other day.

Shut up, guy.

We're going to call Frederick Bummer, right?

TNT what?

Oh, I'm using spoof card.

Spoof card.

He said, the toilet.

The toilet broke.

He broke the toilet when she's in pain, but I don't care.

All I care about is she broke my toilet floor.

He said, because she broke the toilet.

She's Margaret Gray.

So fucking bad, dude.

I'm sorry.

She had to give you a call because the toilet was broken.

She said, call Frederick Bummer.

I'm trying to get Fred on the line.

She's in hell.

This is going to hell for brother.

I thought it was her sister who, like, faffed and had to steer that away from that.

I'm like, oh, my God, Ann fell down.

She's like, are you the nurse?

You should have called this one Jamaican lady.

Yeah, this is the nurse.

That's funny.

Oh, man, we'll have to listen to that later, dude.

I've got another.

I've got a.

Hang on, let me.

This will shut up.

It doesn't shut up.

I got a number in England if you want to do it real quick.

And I've got a confirmed working international card from Lonesome Loser, dude.

Excellent.

Okay, I've got an Asian guy.

Yuck F. Ho

or Lai Fung Ho

these are in England

and we have

Philip Toon still

that one's in

Manchester, England

as well

other Asian guys

Yuck F. Ho

I had a long conversation

with Yuck F. Ho

like three weeks ago

actually

that guy's funny

I had a good prank call

with him the other day

you take him

let's see what we can do

with him

I asked for Yuck F. Ho

and it became

this big interrogation

and I told him

how America was

the greatest country

in the world

and stuff like that

you know what I'm

talking about right

join us next Thursday

and yeah I'll take a break

after that too

it's break time

alright everybody

hang on for the

The segment, we will be back after this with more prank calls.

And for the time being, Turd Burglar and one more prank call.

We're calling Il Campo in England.

This is Madhouse Radio.

Jackass, that guy.

He can be funny when he's in a good mood.

He sounds a little cranky.

It's like 6 o'clock in the morning over there, I think, or 5 o'clock in the morning.

Yeah.

All right, dude.

Well, hey, Turd, man, thanks for being on, bro.

You're the man.

Good rep for that.

Take care of yourself, man.

We'll catch you next week, if not sooner, all right, bro?

All right, great.

TurdBurglar.com.

And there you have it.

That was Turd Burglar, everybody.

Turd Burglar on 98.6 ML.

98.6 ML.

Yeah.

So, yeah, no Milkman.

Let me check to see if Milkman made it in yet.

Oh, there he is.

Holy shit, I didn't even realize it.

No, he's disconnected.

Fuck, he was here and we lost him.

Shit, he'll be back.

So, looks like after the break here,

we're going to take a brief break here, about five minutes.

We will be playing a Luciano Pavarotti call

in memory of his fat ass himself, Luciano Pavarotti.

Reclude will be calling in as well during the second hour of the show.

I do not have to work tomorrow.

I have no responsibilities tomorrow, so I can go on as late as I want.

As late as you guys will have me.

I'd like to thank all 36 listeners on Shellcast.

I'd like to thank all our podcast listeners for listening to us about two days in the future.

And I am keeping on top of the podcast, by the way.

And I have no idea.

Earthdog, I know you're good at this.

If you can count up how many people are listening in the Syndicate chat room so I have an idea

how many other listeners I have on top of my 36 live listeners on the Madhouse Radio Network.

So it's more than that.

We're having a very good night, and I think we're doing positively here despite the technical issues.

But, hey, it would not be a Madhouse Radio show without those technical issues, everybody.

In

the meantime, if you want to reach me, the best thing to do is to go to madhouselive.com,

send me an instant message.

Madhouse Radio is the username if you're using Yahoo or AOL Instant Messenger.

Again, that's Madhouse Radio for all you Messenger users out there.

MadhouseLive at Hotmail.com if you are using MSN Messenger.

And, of course, the toll-free line is remaining open for the break.

That line is 888-278-8509.

So coming up, we have Adolphus and Barbara Cotton,

a black woman who answered in Oak City, North Carolina.

We have more calls to Manchester, England, including Philip Toon and Lai Fung Ho.

Ho, we have Krize Trenny here in Florida.

All right, Florida represent.

And again, Reckwood will be calling in.

Milkman perhaps will be joining us after the break here.

Everybody, for the time being, I would like to thank you all for listening.

Be right back.

Be sure to visit Madhouse Live.com during the break.

And hang in there, folks.

It is now 12.52 a.m. Friday.

The weekend is unofficially here.

Two dogs all late.

I'm not looking for the day I die.

This radio will be back right after this.

Tell me 40,000 people are coming here.

They're not here.

I'm breaking my truck.

Be sure to visit us online at madhouselive.com.

Yeah, it's a long way to Tempest, Puerto Rico.

Madhouse Radio will be back right after this.

Ladies, Madhouse Radio is back.

It is now 12.58 a.m. Eastern Standard Time Friday, September the 7th.

Madhouse Radio is live.

Madhouselive.com is the site.

And whatever.

Had a good night so far.

We're going to continue on with some more Shiza.

We have Big Reclude calling in here any second now.

Actually, that's him right there.

What's going on, buddy?

Not much, man.

What's going on, bro?

Cooking it up?

What's going on?

I'm laying off.

Cleaning it out or just taking a break?

I mean, I can get it whenever I want, trust me.

Okay.

The funds and the means.

But now, I'm going to New York and trying to move out of this fuck.

Oh, yeah.

You told me about that.

That's right.

You were starting to move up in the studio world, huh?

Fuck, yeah, dude.

I'm going to meet some motherfuckers and I'm going to spend like five days in New York

like first week of October.

Cool.

It's not going to be too cold, I guess.

I've never been in New York in the winter.

I've only been there once in the middle of July.

That's got to suck.

That's fucking balls colder there.

Hey, Milkman's on the line, too, now.

I don't know if you can hear him, but Milkman is on the line.

Say hi to Milkman.

Can you hear him?

Oh, good.

As usual.

Yeah, so fuck.

So for the people who don't know you, this is Reclute.

We're on a lot of new streams tonight, man.

We're expanding.

So this is Big Reclute.

He owns a studio in somewhere, and, yeah, he works at Busy Bone, and he's worked with, and he got fired by Whitney Houston, right?

Oh, that fucking bitch.

Like, what happened?

Like, I was supposed to work with her through her relatives and shit, and then fucking that cunt had that crack house shit happen, like, the week before it went to New York.

Right.

That sucks, dude.

Whatever, dude.

I've had so much good shit happen since then, it doesn't even matter.

Major label, really not that much.

I mean, I want to.

That's a fucking spot to do it at, though, man.

With this little minor league fucking drink.

What, the secretary you got to get you the coffee?

Yeah, I saw her tonight, dude.

She kind of pissed me off, so I think fired her.

You think you fired her?

You're not sure yet?

Kind of like, yeah, right.

She was a doctor.

She's, you know, weirded out because I wouldn't even look.

Oh, you gave him a two weeks.

That's cool, man.

Whatever it takes.

Two to three weeks.

I think she lasted, actually, about three weeks to getting older.

Oh, good, man.

So, what was I going to say?

Oh, yeah.

We got a ton of numbers here to do some pranks, man, if you're ready.

I'm going to tell you a real public accent.

Like a tape.

Is that the spot there for the gays, 5th and High Street? Is that the deal?

No.

Okay, that's nasty, dude.

So what kind of show is it like?

There's only one called Community Tapestry.

Community Tapestry, oh boy.

Yeah, they have like two boring motherfuckers on there, dude.

I gotta get one in me, because I use...

Oh yeah, so we can spoof them, yeah, yeah, for sure, yeah, spoofcard.com, man, they're like 10 bucks.

Yeah, and it records all the calls for you, so like if you want to hear them...

Yeah, that's so sweet.

Yeah, you just...

Yeah

You know how much hassle

That takes away

From like everything

Yeah that's what I'm saying

Me I got the MP3 right there

And as soon as the call is done

I can replay them live

I want to say

Oh we just did an awesome

Prank call

Click click click

Playing

Anyone can hear it again

Yeah that's how

And what do you think

The one I sent you

The one you're

Punching the gut one

That was pretty funny

Yeah I like that man

I was listening to my

Like yeah that nice little medley

Which I was listening to

Yeah yeah

That's all yours

Put it on because it's really good

So you had a good run

With that one

I appreciate it man

That was fucking

Let's see if we can get that

Let's light a fire under our ass.

Okay.

That's it.

Okay, so you want to do England?

I've got an Asian dude named Lai Fung Ho in England,

and then we also got...

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay.

I can hit on that.

Okay, all right.

This is Lai Fung Ho.

This is an Asian person in England,

Manchester, England,

where there are very angry people there,

from what I understand.

And, I don't know.

Here comes that.

Everybody listen to this while we do that.

What are we listening to this for?

This is the sweetest fucking phone call.

What's his name?

Last name.

First name and a second.

Hello?

I need to speak to Bernardo, please.

Huh?

I need to speak to Bernardo, please.

What's his first name?

What's his first name there, Ronnie?

Huh?

Michael.

Who?

Michael.

C-H-A-L.

Who is this?

People.

Fuck.

Let's try it.

All right, you want to leave a message?

Hey.

We've got the Lake Resort.

This one's in America.

It's in San Diego.

The convict resort.

to work yeah then hey so I'm indoors that's all right man didn't answer what it wasn't even a

prank it's okay uh we also yeah we got a black family uh Adolphus and Barbara Cotton yeah they're

named Cotton and they're black that's funny Adolphus you know Adolf Hitler Adolphus Hitler

Adolphus and Barbara Cotton black Adolphus oh that's so black man Adolphus Cotton son of a

of bitches. Where are they at? They're in

North Carolina. You know, oh my

shit. Oh my shit. Oak City,

North Carolina. Let's do that. That sounds pretty

good. Alright, let's see. Hopefully they stay in.

Alright, Adolphus and Barber Cotton, everybody.

Hello.

You're going to have to call him in the morning.

Please come down there every day. You're going to just have

to let him know. He's been passing around.

You better get him on the feed.

It does, buddy.

Hang on. Let's call one first and then call

her back. I got the... Okay, yeah.

We got the University of Islam.

Dude, you only should, like, prolong it and, like, let her go to sleep.

Yeah, and then call and wake her back up.

Yeah, did you get to hear that show that I kept telling you about we did with all the conference calls

when we had Walmart talking to another Walmart talking to another one?

No, I didn't hear that.

We did that, and then we held, like, a big conference call,

and we told them that, you know, like, a bunch of people in electronics were getting laid off.

Yeah.

And, like, the managers were all on the line, like, thinking it was a real conference call from corporate.

Yeah.

It was real funny, dude.

That's pretty bad.

I think I did get into that.

I think I did catch that

Yeah I've got it all edited down

I keep promoting it

But it really was a good show dude

I was so wasted for that too man

It was great

Let's get another one here

We've got the Bums Rush Tavern

I don't know about that

Did we do the Convict Lake Resort already?

Did that not work?

No we didn't do that yet

We've also got the University of Islam

This is black Islam

Because this is a black guy answered at 106

this is the nation

the nation man

the nation apparently

so

yeah

we can do this

but

your papa's a rabbi

you gotta promise

me not to say

no bomb jokes

or I like

no explosion

no

it's just uppity racist

uppity racist stuff

is just fine

on the show

okay hang on everybody

Recklood's gonna

Recklood and I

are gonna call

the University of Islam

Islam

Recklood the racist

racist Recklood

coming up

Milkman

make yourself heard

if you're there man

say what's up

Milkman's here, everybody.

He finally made it.

Good to have you on, Milkman.

I'm not playing games, woman.

Stop playing games.

You better watch your tone.

I don't want to.

Listen, you watch your mouth.

You watch your mouth.

Stop.

You know what I'm going to do?

I'm going to punch you right in the gut.

You don't even know.

You don't know nothing about me.

You got a big gut, don't you?

I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have said that.

No, I mean, it's just an idea.

here but what i mean who you want to talk speak to i want to talk to michael bernardo michael

bernardo you want to make a big issue he's not here it's his number sources good but can you

turn the volume down a little bit like quick march i won't get in one of those preach on preach on

preach on you

that's sounding black muslim i've ever heard you hear that guy

Yeah, I know, it was like Jim Carrey.

Yeah, I know, like the Jim Carrey of militant black Muslims.

Did you know that Louis Farrakhan believes that black people came on some big mothership

that's orbiting the Earth or Saturn or something?

Have you ever heard that story?

He thinks that that Muhammad Prophet guy that they had, Elijah Muhammad or whatever,

that he went into some kind of UFO that's hidden around Saturn.

yeah he's like

he says that the black people

are like an alien race

that is superior

to the white man

or something

I don't know

he's really kooky

what has he been

hanging out with

George Clinton

doing crack

he's been saying

this since like

the 70s or the 80s

I think

that guy's got really serious

he's dying actually

right now

I heard he's

he actually toned down

his whole rhetoric

and he's like

trying to be cool

with the white man now

because he's dying

or something like that

are you serious

yeah he's like

he's recanted

a bunch of the crazy shit

he used to say

back in the day

that's what I heard

that he's like

close he's like getting really sick like he's like jerry lewis dying right now

fuck you see that guy in the labor day special this year i didn't see it but i saw the pictures

man he's got a big fat head this is like a big he looks like a you know how mongoloids had that

big fat head with no neck jerry lewis jerry lewis yeah he's got the mongoloid neck thing where it's

like just connected why you want to know my theory on that what's that uh getting a ton of money for

like yeah it's like a bunch of fatty foods yeah you think so that's what he got off the telethon

you know how much money

that motherfucker probably made?

You think he's made money

off of it himself?

That shit,

I know a procurable disease.

Yeah,

45 years now,

and they haven't done anything with it.

People still have it.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

I guarantee you,

people are getting rid of it.

They're probably making more money

off that than

NASCAR off hillbillies.

Sure,

for sure.

Piece of dumb hillbillies.

Yeah, man.

God damn it.

You know,

you ever think about,

like here in the South,

there's like a bunch of college,

you know,

football teams,

and all their rednecks

are into like,

you know,

their college football team,

Like the Seminoles and shit

And you think about it

These assholes

Have never been to college

Never will go to college

Their kids probably

Aren't going to go to college

But they're like

That's a good thought

I never even

Thought about that

Yeah

That's cool

I'm so sad

That's all those

We've got Juice

Juice

Yeah

Juice

B-O-O-Y-A

Juice

We also have

Ned lives in Nebraska

We've got

Ned Bourne

We've got Strippers

In L.A.

Alright Strippers in L.A. it is

Alright cool

Cool

Strippers in L.A. everybody

Come next in the mouth

We will continue this prank call that we're listening to.

Hold on a second.

That's just like, do they actually have a name?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, Silk Stockings Entertainment.

I'll send you the details, Dom.

I forgot what I was supposed to do this year.

Okay, here comes Reckless with another prank call, everybody.

Everybody.

Friend, I ain't going to say, but we, you know what I'm saying?

It concerns, the only thing it concerns is satellites.

What?

It concerns satellites.

It concerns a little Russian.

I can't speak about it.

A little Russian boy.

Oh, you got it.

Yeah.

I mean, it's real deep.

What's your name?

What's my name?

I mean that's an official name. I don't know why you're laughing at that. That's official.

Why do you want to speak to him?

What's that? We're going on a little trip to Russia and we could use his expertise.

He takes assistance and we were just wondering if we could go down and get women.

I'm up too.

He was here the other day.

No, she was there. Hang on.

We were standing at people's feet.

he was like

they got pictures

of him making out

with all these

young boys and shit

dude that guy's

fucking

it's nutty man

he was like

he was in love

with Marilyn Manson

I guess he kept

stalking him and shit

like he wouldn't

leave him alone

or something like that

the story goes

something really weird

yeah something really weird

like that yeah

somebody would be stalking him

you'd think it'd be

some goth or

yeah yeah right

no he's like

he just got in trouble

for wasn't he pissing

or something across the street

he pissed on somebody

or something like that

that's what he did here

yeah that's what he did there

he's a fucker

He's a fucker gay.

Funny.

He's a hilarious guy.

I mean, like, I'm a big fan of news radio.

He was hilarious on that show, but...

Oh, yeah, but he's...

Yeah, he's...

I wouldn't be, like, as a guy...

The KDK term, that's the new term for that.

I'm such a KDK...

Hater.

He's probably listening to...

I know he's listening to KDK.

I'm on to you, young man.

Hey, listen, KDK.

I'm getting a vagina where my cock used to be.

Why don't we just go on the...

Make it, and then you'll get on there with your fuckly face.

Man, Rich is disgusting.

Like, nothing...

Nothing makes that guy vomit.

He says he was

KDK says that was

Richard faking it

Apparently

I don't know

He sounded like he was

Gagging pretty hard actually

When it was

When I was

I don't know man

I don't shit either

Yeah

You don't think so?

I'm pretty bad on

With all that

Yeah

There's no PC anymore

PC is dead

Apparently

Don't worry

Start up now

Yeah well KDK will take it

He needs talent

He's got himself

And that's it

He burned his bridges

With everybody out there

You got him right

He needs

Oh

I am bisexual

I'm fabulous

Keep kidding

You want to call

Prankmaster?

Prankmaster? Try to call Prankmaster?

I think I have his number here. Let's see if he picks up.

Hang on, hang on. When was this? When was last week?

Last week was the first

when I did the show. When was it here? Oh, here it is.

I don't know. When is it here? It's either

908 or 646. I don't know. What

area code's in Pennsylvania? Where does he live?

New Jersey? New Jersey's

Jersey's 908?

We have a 908 in New Jersey.

Don't worry about it.

False.

We're going to have Rick Lou discuss something with Crankmaster, everybody.

If you don't know who Crankmaster is, you're about to find out.

Look, man, you're hanging in there, bro.

He's like Gary Glitter.

He's a young age.

I should play the video.

You know that, the bang-bang, I got it on the website.

I took that down.

I actually got it.

Oh, yeah, you took it down?

Yeah, because I was listening to it the other day.

I was pretty sure.

Yeah.

Remember, he'd beep on the phone, like, to get us off when people made fun of him?

He'd beep, like, oh, he got us now.

Watch out.

Right.

You know what's funny?

It's like his name alone is just fucking.

That's all he says when he prank calls people.

What was it?

Like a drink called Prick or some shit?

Yeah, milk.

Me?

Yeah.

Me and Zolar.

Yeah.

Yeah, you and Zolar and the dad and Jew.

We're like fucking with him the whole shit like for a whole half hour. Yeah, the dead

You fucking beat all you at home

He wasn't didn't know what to do with himself. It's like go hang up Carlito. Hang on Carlito. Oh

Okay, first call is gonna be to dad. Let's call him. Okay. He's probably listening

Find out

He'll talk doesn't mean he's attention. Hang on everybody here comes a prank master. He's got a pickup sometime

or press pound for more options.

Trying to get off the slant eye, you fucking child molester?

What are you doing, huh?

What, are you still prank master?

Are you still a master of all pranks?

Up your hearing aids, you fucking get that dick out.

Can't keep it.

Yes, sir.

We got the Convict Lake Resort if you want to try that.

I guess we could do the whole KDK thing.

That'd be kind of funny.

We could do Jill or...

Let's just make, like, tranks all night.

Yeah, all right.

Let's just have a tribute prank album, dude.

Wouldn't that be hilarious?

Tribute pranks, covers.

Covers of your favorite prank calls by Reclute and Carlito.

Yeah, that would make a lot of sense.

Freedom.

Yeah.

Like, hey, this is Frank Rizzo.

Do you like Frank Rizzo?

Frank Rizzo.

Hey.

Like fucking.

Kissel.

Remember Kissel?

Oh.

What's the other guy?

College Humor or something.

That's an old one.

I know what you mean.

All right, cool, cool.

So another prank call.

All right, it's going to be a KDK style prank call.

Test it out ourselves.

We're going to do our own tribute to KDK here.

uh yeah the convict lake resort

straight to voicemail so they got this awesome

okay got geraldine and paul

lamer

no no he changed it and he kept it

private like i did so were they

just kids or what are they doing who is it exactly

everybody does the same thing they keep on calling

yeah what do you want to do and they're like

like right away i know it's a fucking

you sound like a fucking oh that's funny

you should have told them to call

wants to say something milkman that's the one

adolphus and barbara connor i forgot about her

They should be sleeping by now.

Black dude in North Carolina.

Okay, now first we got to decide on a...

It's Jill, and he's got the old guy Ed as the other one.

This is Ed.

I don't know, he does something like that, like,

This is Ed.

Hello, this is Ed.

Something like that, I don't know.

Ed.

Office and Barber Car, we're going to call them back.

We talked to them earlier.

Here we go.

Hang on, everybody.

Fucking night, dude.

No.

Raising big black sauce for your number.

Man, please, don't beat my ass.

I'm sorry, man.

Sir, who it is?

You tell me.

Hey, someone call me over here.

I connected me to you.

I'm a little crazy.

Prince Everett, son.

He's like, who the fuck is this?

That was the fun.

Dude, I couldn't stop laughing.

Oh, that was too much.

I fucked that whole call up.

Oh, shit, dude.

That is fucking hilarious.

I don't know how funny that is.

You know, the good, the chill one was the best one, because it's like, who the fuck is this?

The other one that, who is, I know that call.

It's that kid who, those are really, really, like, really creepy.

That creepy lady sounding.

Hello.

How you doing there?

There was one about a Ouija board, and there was one about, like, I can't remember.

There was, like, two funny calls.

Yeah, and the rest of them were just real creepy sounding.

Yeah, it was like, oh, fuck, this is Loretta.

Yeah, this is Loretta.

No, no, no.

Yeah, no, I think I should have.

Fuck.

I did it at some random.

Call him back.

Come on.

All right.

Oh, we got a Keith Richards here also.

Okay, all right.

Let's try to see if we can get a Dolphus to answer the phone.

I don't know.

That was a pretty good hit.

Yeah, we struck gold with that one.

Yeah, that was good.

All right, I relent.

I will try him back one more time here to see if he picks up.

Milkman, what do you think about that?

Are you still on the line?

Milkman, there you go.

What do you think about that, man?

Excellent.

See, Milkman liked it.

I'm looking for a freaking-ass song so I can get a call on here.

Jacqueline's really got a call back.

It's like, Heidi, and you're...

Or you can call back the White Devil again.

That was funny, too.

The White Devil.

Excuse me, let me get the thunder out of my throat first.

Yeah, everybody at madhouselive.com

Visit reclude.gov

Do you have a website?

You had like a little test website you started

That made a funky noise when you loaded it up

Remember that one?

Oh, no, I took it as shit now

Yeah, I'm going to get a new one up

But I'm going to like wait

I put my money into so much shit right now

Once I do it, I'm going to do it right

Alright, reclude, hang on a minute

We're going to call him back, right?

Do we just want to say you got to call him your ass?

Who's there?

The black.

Now he's there that whole time, the dumbass.

Your recorded call.

Oh, man.

The 10-digit phone number you wish to call.

All right, we're going to do one more, and I'm going to call it Matt.

It's getting late, my friend.

Patricia Suckey, Keith Richards.

We get the Pleasure Island adult store for women only.

The 10-digit phone number you wish to call.

I don't know if you caught that.

Which ones you got now?

It's called Pleasure Island.

It's an adult store, but it's for women only, apparently.

We also have...

Adult store for women only.

Where?

In Torrance, California.

Torrance.

Let's do it, man.

All right, cool, cool.

Last prank call of the night, Reclude coming through.

Thank you, man, for calling in, by the way.

It was an honor having you on.

It was going to be.

Thanks for being on, bro.

Thanks for carrying the show for me a little bit.

Oh, yeah, man.

Oh, yeah, I will catch you next week, hopefully.

When are you leaving to New York?

Next week?

Be there, like, October through the night.

Oh, all right, man.

All right, peace out, my bro.

All right, bro.

That's Reclude, everybody.

Yes, that's right.

As I said, that is Reclude.

Wow, we did a lot of show tonight.

A lot of block.

A show block tonight, everybody.

And I had fun.

I hope you did, too.

Milkman, are you there with me, man?

Milkman, finally joining in.

Milkman, there you are, off of mute.

Hey, man.

It's been an odd night, but it's been a fun night.

You missed some calls, bro.

I don't know what to tell you.

Well, you heard some stuff, right?

You got to...

Okay.

I thought...

You know, it was it.

I'm going to play...

I want to play that black guy again.

And then we had one call.

You know, you missed a call at the beginning of the show.

Actually, it was pretty good.

I'm going to actually play that right now.

My gain is, like, really high here.

here. Let me bring my mic down a little bit. There we go. I think that, testing, testing,

testes, gazizza. Okay, good. That's a better mic level. No, I'm going to play this. I'm

trying to remember if I can, see if I can remember. Who did we call? There was one call

that was really wicked at the beginning of the night. We called him with the turd burglars.

I know you missed it for a fact. Who was it? Finger licking? No. Killer shrimp. I think

that was the one. Maybe that was the one. Why did I call killer shrimp? Yesterday, let

Let me go back to the second page over here.

Do not panic, Milkman.

We almost have it, my friend.

It should be this one.

Let's try this.

Tell me if you can hear this or not, man.

Not yet.

I'll tell you when.

Any second now.

We are wrapping up the show now, folks.

If you want to call in, now's a good time.

The toll-free line is open.

You can reach us here, toll-free, 1-888-278-8509.

If you want to call in, let us know what you think of the show,

what you think of the pranks we did tonight,

what you think about us.

If you want to tell us we suck, that's okay.

You can do that, too.

All right.

Are you able to hear music right now?

No.

Palm Shadow Inn.

Yeah, is this the Palm Shadows?

Yes, it is.

What's going on?

Do you have any vacancies?

Yeah.

How many spaces do you guys have?

Tonight?

Yeah, how many spaces?

I need specifically spaces.

Do you need what?

I need your spaces.

I need to know how many spaces and how much are your spaces.

Okay, I don't know what you mean.

Do you mean how many rooms do I have?

Spaces, your spaces, lady.

Come on.

Space.

How much space do you have?

Are you asking the rooms or space?

I don't know what you mean by space.

A room is a space.

Well, I don't, I'm sorry, I didn't term it that way.

What do you need?

Space, any spaces.

How many?

Enough for four people.

Why don't you figure out how much your space is?

Our spaces are 59 per person, per night, I mean, I'm sorry, 59 per night.

How much is the deposit on that?

I need the full amount.

I know that, but I'm saying, like, what are you going to do with my car?

Are you going to put an extra $100 on hold or something like that?

What again?

What are you going to do with your car?

Do you put a hold on my card when I check in?

No.

I run your card through.

It goes right through then.

Even shake.

$59.99.

It's $59 plus tax, which is $64.90.

What's your tax rate over here in Indio?

10%.

10%?

Yes.

Jesus Christ, 10%.

I don't set it, sir.

It's $6.50 where I'm from in Florida.

Well, then I guess that's where you go back.

You know, the thing is, if you're coming tonight, I'm closing in five minutes.

You southern people are all like that.

Go back to where you come from.

Go back to where you came from.

No.

Yes, you are.

You southerners here in California are a bunch of jerks.

Okay, I guess we are.

I guess I'm not going to do business with you since your spaces are not tax deductible, huh?

No, we have to charge tax.

I'm sorry.

Okay, so you have a TV in the rooms?

Yes.

There's one TV per space, right?

Yes.

Okay, so what would happen if I decided to throw the TV out the window?

I mean, how are you going to catch me?

I don't plan to.

Would I have to pay for the TV?

Sure.

How am I going to pay for it if you don't have nothing on deposit?

If I don't what?

If you don't have a deposit, how are you going to make me pay for it?

I'm going to have your credit card number, and I'll charge your credit card.

But I've got a debit card.

I'm telling you, I can't take it then, can I?

No, but it's got the MasterCard logo on it.

Well, it depends on how it goes through.

If it goes through as a credit, then I can charge your credit card, can't I?

You know, I'm friends with Senator Gray, and he said that you have to accept it any way I say you take it.

Who said that?

Who says that?

Senator Gray.

Who's he?

Senator Gray.

He's a senator.

Oh.

Oh, he says that, huh?

Oh, yeah.

He's a lawmaker.

He wrote the books.

Oh, okay.

Well, I'm glad to know that.

He'll throw the book at you.

But we can make our own rules, too.

No, but you can't make your own rules on the fly.

That's not permissible.

Okay.

You know what?

Do you want a room?

I'm closing in five minutes.

Yes, I'll be there in about four minutes, but have you ever heard of the United Negro College Fund?

No, I have not.

You've never heard of the United Negro College Fund, ma'am?

No.

I also have to have ID besides a credit card, and I have to have a legitimate credit card.

No, it's legitimate, but it's a debit card, master card, gold card.

It's got numbers on it.

You know what?

Uh, sir, if you want the room, come before I close.

But I'm closing in about three minutes now.

Where I'm from, we don't sass on the phone with men.

Pardon?

We respect our men and our elders.

You owe me a rib.

I owe you what?

A rib.

Jonathan.

That's right.

Jonathan, it's on the line.

What's going on, Jonathan?

Oh, you weren't listening to old Carlito and Terberger over at E.T.?

I had a lot of technical difficulties with my PC and phone.

Oh, fuck, dude.

Everything's just breaking down over there, huh?

Yeah, everything's working now.

That's good.

I'm glad to hear that, man.

So, yeah, you're here with me, Carlito.

Of course, Milkman is on the line with us as well.

And, yeah, what do you think about the show so far?

Well, we're ending the show, rather, but what do you think?

Well, it's been all right.

I've been listening to bits of it and trying to fix this computer and stuff like that.

But it's been running pretty good.

Good deal.

And the bus industry is going well for you?

School started back, of course, but you're doing school busing, right?

Yeah, next month.

I'm excited, man.

So, what's going on with the Can-Can Boys and all that stuff?

Anything new?

Oh, dude, I finally got to see you.

Milkman, you've been missing it.

I actually saw Jonathan on webcam, man.

I'm alive.

Yeah, you look a lot younger than I thought you would look.

Yeah, I've been taking care of myself.

Well, that's good.

Good, doing push-ups.

Yeah, I've been doing exercises and stuff like that.

Well, that's good.

Good deal.

Good deal, man.

All right, brother, man.

We're ending the show.

But, of course, you always have to call in.

Milkman, you want to say something to Jonathan real quick?

Something like that.

20 pounds, something like that, Milkman.

A chance, Jonathan, to say hi to all your fans.

Yeah, I'm sure they will now that you said that, man.

Would you do any fishing ever, man?

I'm going to do some fishing this weekend, I think.

I know, man.

It's depressing.

All right, bud.

Take care of yourself, all right?

I'll talk to you soon.

Next week.

All right.

Peace out, my friend.

That's Jonathan, everybody.

Jonathan.

Yes, indeed.

We are wrapping things up here, as I said before.

And if you do want to call us in, call us in.

I always say that.

I'm so fucking spick, man.

I can't even talk English from Milkman.

If you want to call in, the toll-free line is 888-278-8509.

We're doing a brief review of the pranks we did tonight.

We're going to play one more.

I want to play that call to the black guy that we did earlier tonight.

And after that, we're going to call it a night.

What did you think about the last call we played there, buddy?

Pretty good?

The call I did?

It was interesting.

I give it a 6 on a scale out of 1 to 8.

That's a weird scale, right?

1 to 8.

Let's see if this is the one here.

This is old.

old. This tremendous discovery thing

is as old. Yeah, that is 831.

Oh, crap. I'm on the wrong page. Holy crap, dude.

Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do.

Any second now. We're on

page one now. Everybody, as I said, the

toll-free line is open for a few more minutes.

Again, you can call us at

888-278-8509. If not,

feel free to go to

madhouselive.com for all

your madhouse fixins.

I want to thank everybody who listened to us

on TalkShoe, including Milkman. Milkman

has been brought to you tonight by TalkShoe.

We'd like to thank everybody in the Stern fan, on the Stern Syndicate Network.

It was nice being with you guys for the first time.

You guys seemed like a pretty cool crowd.

Again, thank you Dino, Zola, and everybody else who made that possible.

And everybody listening to us on the Madhouse Radio Network as well.

As, uh, I guess that's it.

God, we're on so many different shits now, man.

It's impossible to explain it all.

But no, PCU.

PCU's dead.

Let's see.

This is the call from Reckley.

I'm going to do a different voice.

Yeah, this is it.

Let's skip up to it here.

Buddy?

Yes, sir, who's this?

This is Mark.

I just love little old white ladies.

Love if you have some of that.

Microphone come back.

There we go.

You get the idea, Milkman.

It was a good night, but I'm really tired.

I'm going to go.

Milkman, take us out of here.

Yeah, your phone sounds.

This is not going to work.

Get the service.

Yeah.

We got a phone call.

We got a caller from AT&T Security.

Let's see who this is.

House Radio, you're on the air.

Go ahead.

Don't call me.

Do you know what's going on, big guy?

How you doing, man?

Right now, I promise you're going to get off in a second.

What?

Yeah, for sure.

Yeah, you can reach me at this number any time, man.

And it forwards to wherever I'm at.

Trillo, I'll have that.

I didn't have a chance to set up the server before the show started,

so I'll have it working before tomorrow night then.

Dude, like I said, we got to talk to the family.

Hopefully you like me.

It's not in big, but it works.

I'll give you a call.

Oh, yeah, we'll work it out.

Thanks for the support.

That's Dino, everybody, dino.com.

I got to learn this new setup.

Milkman, you were saying?

Yeah.

You sound like crap, Milkman.

I'm sorry, dude.

You're going to have to call me after the show, though, all right?

Milkman.

All right.

All right, that's Milkman, everybody.

Everybody, we're out of here.

I want to again say thank you to everybody who was involved with letting us be on the air tonight,

everybody who listened.

Be sure to go to madhouselive.com for our podcast and assorted.

This show will be up in about two nights, if not tomorrow night.

Thank you to everybody who's – thank you to Lonesome Loser, of course.

We'll catch you here next week, everybody, madhouselive.com.

And, yeah.

Calls (18, 38 min of 2 h)

Transcript

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