2007-09-20 Show

Hey, everybody, good evening.

Ooh, that is loud.

What's up everybody, good evening, Madhouse Radio is back on the air, here with you tonight

is I, Carlito, Carlito is present tonight, it's all here for Carlito tonight, everybody

for Carlito tonight, everybody, alright, um, I don't know if this is working, but in theory

we have none other than Milkman, Milkman, what's up man, okay, hello, hey Milkman, what's

going on bro okay maybe milkman will join us here in a moment milkman's trying to join us here

any way he can regardless it is i carlito of course uh madhouse radio will be on for the next

approximately two hours and 32 minutes and 14 seconds i don't have a lot of live listeners

right now kind of disappointed in all you excuse me so if you don't mind tell yourself to tune in

And tell your friends to tune in to Madhouse Radio.

Madhouselive.com is the website.

We're also broadcasting tonight, of course, on our syndicate, sternsyndicate.com.

Sternsyndicate.com, our flagship station for the time being.

How you all money make out there?

A lot of people actually representing tonight in the stick cam chat room.

That's good.

Good to see you all there.

Of course, madhouselive.com has our own following right there.

Madhouse, everybody there hanging out.

What's up to you guys?

Welcome tonight.

It's going to be a good show.

We've been out for the last two weeks.

I've been busy.

Had an exam tonight.

Had an exam last Thursday.

Luckily, I had an early exam this week.

Not much of a problem.

We'll be taking your call requests here, prank call requests, that is.

You can send them over to the Request a Prank link on madhouselive.com.

Be sure to join us again at Stern Syndicate Radio.

Plenty of people in there in the stick cam right now who are watching me as well as listening to me live.

You can also get a hold of me via Instant Messenger, Yahoo, and AOL Instant Messenger.

Man, I'm really off.

You know, I take a week off and I start stumbling a lot.

Yahoo Instant Messenger and AOL Instant Messenger users can reach us at Madhouse Radio.

Madhouse Radio if you're using Yahoo or AOL Instant Messenger.

If you're using MSN Messenger, MadhouseLive at Hotmail.com.

Again, MadhouseLive at Hotmail.com if you're using MSN Messenger.

And you can always reach us here toll-free on the toll-free line.

Milkman, are you there?

Can you tell us what that is?

Looks like we haven't had the Milkman yet.

No.

No man milk yet.

Anyway, the toll-free line is 1-888-278-8509.

Again, that's 1-888-278-8509.

If you'd like to talk to myself and the Milkman here.

Now you're talking, Milkman.

Yes, what the fuck is up, man?

Hello, Milkman.

Beautiful.

He'll get that fixed soon.

Anyway, to talk about in the news, there was some very interesting news stories here as of late.

We had a UCF, a UF, UCF, I go to UCF, we had a UF student tasered at a John Kerry forum earlier on Sunday, as a matter of fact, on Sunday.

I always like to play audio of things like this, so let's go ahead, Milkman, if you can cut the music.

Yeah, man.

Milkman's cutting the music.

There we go.

Good work, Milkman.

And let's go ahead and listen to that.

I need you to pile name upon name upon some wall in the future for a strategy that has failed.

That's the distinction.

Sir, I first and foremost want to thank you for your time.

You spent a lot of time talking to us here today.

I want to thank you for coming and being open and honest.

You recommended a book to us earlier.

I wanted to recommend a book to you.

It's called Art Madhouse by Greg Palast.

I haven't read it.

Yeah, he's the top investigative journalist in America.

I've already read it.

And he says you won in 2000.

Isn't that amazing?

Isn't that amazing? You won in 2004. In fact, there were multiple reports on the day of the election of disenfranchisement of black voters in Florida and Ohio.

I'll ask my question. Thank you very much.

I'll ask my question. I'm going to preface it. He's been talking for two hours. I think I can do better.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

I'm going to inform you, and then I'm going to ask you.

The reports of disenfranchisement of black voters on the day of the election in 2004.

There was also voting machines, electronic voting machines in Volusia County, Florida.

So amidst all this reports of phony, phony stuff going on, how could you concede the elections on the day?

How could you concede the 2004 election on the day?

And this book is that there were 5 million votes that were suppressed, and you won the elections.

Didn't you want to be president? I'm not even done yet. I have two more questions.

If you were still against Iran, how come you're not saying, let's impeach Bush now?

Impeach Bush now before we can invade Iran. Why don't we impeach him? Impeach Bush.

Clinton was a piece for what? A blow job? Why would he be a piece? Bush, alright?

Also, were you a member of Spelling Roots in college, Bush? Were you in the same secret society as Bush?

Thank you for cutting my mic. Thank you.

Are you going to arrest me? Excuse me. Excuse me. What are you arresting me for?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, dude. Anyway, now, for those of you who have not seen this yet, I'm watching the video here, of course.

You can see this on YouTube. Just put in UF Taser. That's Taser with an S and that is E, as I found out.

psychily enough and uh you can see this kid about to get tased now my thoughts on this uh he should

he's an ass apparently um he films himself doing stunts like uh you know you know uh jackass and

stuff like that he films himself doing those stunts he's already a stupid white kid been doing

stupid things and apparently in the process here you know he starts resisting arrest now a lot of

people say this is cruel and i am one who does agree that i think the police these days are too

too easy to go over to the taser gun and you know they never want to actually put any work into their

arresting methods or whatever it is you know anytime a lot of times i think a police officer

in in haste to be lazy and get someone to be under their control easily will use a taser gun

in order to get them to submit as opposed to perhaps just you know doing the right thing

just escorting the guy out you know and back in the old days you know you had a college student

like this i mean this this type of thing happens in colleges all the time you know people uh college

students are quite opinionated they're on the liberal side this guy is a bit of a conspiracist

i mean and also want to bring out he did bring up the skull and bones uh which that right there is

just uh uh wackadoo right there the whole skull and bones thing i don't buy that whole crap

god damn it milkman do you hear me yet now milkman what's up can you hear me now

milkman can you hear me yes yeah we're on the air right now man we're on the air right now

Oh, you can't hear anything?

Can you hear music now in the background or just me talking?

Okay, good, good, good, good.

Yeah, just technical issues, man, technical issues.

Anyway, so everybody say hi to Milkman.

Milkman, this is everybody.

What's up?

All right, so we're talking about the kid that got tased in the University of Florida, man.

How about that?

Wasn't that right?

Well, what I'm trying to say is, you know, this stuff happens on college campuses all the time,

and these lazy cops here, instead of just taking him out and beating his ass

or taking him out and telling him to stop being an asshole,

So they actually tased him in the process of pushing him out.

And let's listen to that happen, Milkman.

They're about to tase him, and this is the culmination of this.

I'm sorry if this is boring you all, but it is the real world.

A lot of people think this is proof that we're living in a police state right now.

I don't buy it.

I just think it's lazy cops with tasers.

You're only supposed to use a taser if you're in physical danger

or someone else is in physical danger.

But they should have escorted the guy out, but not tased the guy.

You know what I mean?

Just taken him out, dragged him out, made him look like an ass.

and I don't know if the people clapping

when they started clapping there earlier

I don't know if they were clapping in support of him

as they started walking him out

or if they were actually clapping

because he was so annoying

thank God that he's leaving

and he also would like to know

for those of you who didn't know

he did rush the stage

they had already announced that there were going to be no more questions

and he rushed the line and forced himself upon John Kerry

to answer his question

but here is the sound of him being shocked with the taser

and we will move on

all right just when i wrote and i'm no fan of you know i'm no anti-democrat or whatever

whatever this kid was trying to do again he's been known to videotape himself performing stunts

around gainesville and here the officers are clearly telling him to get on his stomach because

they're trying to handcuff him to get him out of the building and he is not he is resisting he's

putting up with his whole i have the right to say whatever i want i have the right to being

annoying asshole and here's where they give him the juice why are they arresting me

the cop says tase him now let's cut it out there that taught him though huh milkman that'll teach

he sounds gay yeah he he got off his little soapbox there really quickly as soon as they

gave him those volts it's like oh it hurts anyway so that that is that now the other big event of

the year um is is oj simpson milkman have you been following the oj simpson story in louisiana

in louisiana yes yes yeah from what i understand these are is a group of six black kids who beat

up a white kid in some middle school in louisiana i believe for some high school i'm not sure

and they all got found guilty and some of them are going to be serving 20 30 years in prison

and they're all 16 which you think is a bit obsessive yes yeah they were fighting in school

but you know kids will be kids it's not fair so the black communities the black communities and

al sharpton all got their sneakers out and i think they're going to be doing a march either today or

they did a march today or they're doing one tomorrow or something right you know whatever

man black power we support black power here in madhouse we're cool with that we're cool with the

uh the black movement you're fucking you're in your fucking coconut you think you're so funny

anyway so we continue on here uh with oj simpson milkman oj simpson uh uh he he

What else can I say other than, I guess, what the deal is here, of course.

I'm pretty sure everybody knows O.J. Simpson was in Vegas for some wedding.

He was going to be in a wedding or was at to watch a wedding.

And he found out that this guy had stolen his merchandise, his memorabilia, and was selling it.

And O.J. Simpson went up to the room with a posse of dudes.

And some of the dudes had guns.

And they basically stole the shit back.

back so if you ask me oj simpson just handled oj simpson's business and let's go ahead and listen

to audio of that milkman this is from our source the arm as always the arm as always the arm any

second now okay maybe that's not going to play immediately so anyway have you heard anything of

uh of interest other than than these three stories we're talking about now the black kids are in jail

the the uf guy who got tasered and oj simpson is in jail too everyone's just getting in trouble

In trouble with the law, man.

In trouble with the law.

But Don's missing balls.

This song always fucking starts there.

Went out, almost out of Iraq.

And that's why I said, like, we...

Yeah, lip service, man.

I hate lip service, too.

Anyway, again, the toll-free line is going to be open here in a moment.

Again, the toll-free line is 1-888-278-8509.

Milkman, we do have numbers.

We are ready to do prank calls because we have numbers.

The news phase of the show is over.

What's this great news you have for the manhunt?

Hey, here's OJ.

Listen to OJ.

Milkman, it would scare the shit out of me if I had stolen merchandise from O.J. Simpson

and all of a sudden I saw O.J. Simpson walk in the hotel room.

I think I'd about shit my pants at that point.

I thought they let him out. He's on bail.

Oh, what? Are you kidding?

They're starting this again with the wall-to-wall coverage?

Oh, God. See, this is where the media just makes me want to take a big shit.

You know what I mean?

I took a big shit.

I hate this shit. Here we go.

OJ, OJ, OJ.

Fuck you, OJ.

We're going to do prank calls is what we're going to do.

Fuck.

Play the music, Milkman.

Play my music.

Go ahead.

What's the breaking news, Milkman?

Make it quick.

Snap A. Snap A.

That dog got pregnant again?

That dog got...

That whore dog got pregnant again, Milkman.

Are you serious?

Milkman has a dog who's always pregnant, always giving birth.

I had no idea this dog was pregnant again.

Milkman runs a puppy mill, everybody, and that's the truth.

Just for you to see.

I'm disgusted.

Yeah, whatever.

Take care, you know, if I can't take care of sweet kids, it's up to you.

Okay.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

Well, hey.

Oh, it's nice.

Madhouse fans, racist fans, fun for you.

Yeah.

Milkman, this is the weakest start to the show we've had in about two months.

I don't even know if we have a phone call to do prank calls.

Anyway, we need to focus on the pranks, okay?

Once the moves are, find out, if someone can find out out there where that march is supposed to be happening,

what city that was in Louisiana,

some motels and hotels perhaps that are holding members of the esteemed black communities.

Yeah, man, I believe.

Yeah.

Money out there.

Yeah.

Anyway, we have a number here from New New for a sixth grade teacher named Stephen Mills.

Stephen Mills, who has a website with all the rules for his class.

There are hundreds of rules for his class, like ones on how to sharpen a pencil or how to throw up if you're ill.

Are you serious?

Okay, since yesterday he took his photo and phone number off his site,

so don't call too late, otherwise he will be suspicious, he says.

And he sends the picture, and I've seen the picture of this teacher.

So apparently this teacher puts up rules about how to throw up if you get sick.

I really would like to see that guy's rules for the class.

Anyway, so we have his number.

This is Stephen Mills, a sixth-year-old teacher who loves rules, Milkman.

Milkman, we're always breaking the rules here, aren't we, man?

Okay, I had the wah-wahs there for a second, my friend.

Did you hear that song I played on that message I sent you the other night?

No.

No, man.

I usually erase your messages before I finish listening to them.

Hey, what song would you like to hear now, though?

What song would you want to hear now?

ACDC, Bob Marley, Johnny Cash.

Bob Marley?

Yeah, Bob Marley.

What do you want to hear?

Three Little Birds.

Which one?

Three Little Birds, Kim Dameron.

You want to hear that?

Oh, man, that's gay.

Let me see if I have Three Little Birds.

I think I do.

Let me see.

Searching for the phone

I got three little birds

Three little birds

There we go

Hang on everybody, we'll be right back with the first prank call of the night

In just one moment

Jive Time Records

How you doing my brother?

We're setting up the bus, we're headed down to Louisiana

For the march, we wanted to know if you guys wanted to donate anything

We're setting up the bus

To go down to Louisiana for that march

We wanted to know if you guys wanted to donate or sponsor anything

It's a good cause, we'd love to

You guys can't afford not even maybe just a few autographs?

Come on, dude.

What do you guys have there?

Let them know.

That's what I'm talking about, exactly.

You got the satellite office, and then they told me to give you guys a call,

see if we can get you to sponsor something.

Reverend Run told us to give you a call.

Well, Reverend Run told us to give you a call, man.

That's fucked up.

You know what he's going to say when he finds out, right?

Wait until Diddy finds out, man.

That's fucked up, dude.

That's really fucked up.

Diddy's going to say when he finds out, man.

He's going to say that's fucked up.

It's like I said, man.

That's fucked up.

I'm sorry.

I can't help it.

What about some sandwiches?

What's that?

Sandwiches.

This is a prank call, man.

No.

There's no such thing as a prank call about something like this.

There's this bus.

We're heading down to Louisiana from Seattle.

Can we just see if you can break in maybe some sandwiches or maybe...

I'm a record store.

I'm not going to donate a sandwich to you guys.

Do you sell sodas there, like bottle sodas?

No, not sodas.

We sell records.

How about some CDs for the trip?

Can't do it.

Well, come on.

We'll buy them with just maybe a little discount.

Maybe get you to autograph them.

Get one of the guys to autograph it.

And I got to get going.

I need CDs, please.

Don't you understand?

Try Sonic Boom Records or Easy Street.

We need to talk to Jive Records, man.

This ain't Jive Records, man.

I'm telling you, Reverend Run himself told me to give you a call.

Reverend Run can fucking not do that.

Hey, man.

It's a tiny shop, and I don't really know if you talk to Reverend Run.

Well, I mean, I got the ID right here.

Look, see?

All right.

Yeah, I can see it through the phone.

Oh, that's right.

We got a fax, right?

A fax?

I don't know what that is.

A fax machine.

I don't know what a fax machine is.

I know what a saxophone is.

No, a fax machine, or do you have email there so I can send you it?

I don't have an email thing, an email machine.

Do you have a computer machine there?

We don't have a computer machine, only an eBay machine.

Okay, but I can send you the fax through it.

Can you just press 1 so you can accept it?

No, I can't.

I can press hang up, though.

No, just press 1 for me real quick.

You'll be amazed at what happens.

If I press 1 right now?

Yeah, you'll be amazed at what happens.

What's going to happen?

I'm going to send a fax to you.

Through the phone?

Yes.

I press 1, man.

There's Neil Hamburger in the juice.

What's going on, brother?

You're on 98.6, the mouth.

I would play the sound effect for you, but I forgot to hook up the cable.

All right, brother, you're a very cool guy.

Say hi to all your fans real quick.

Just say hi to all your fans and listeners, please, if you could.

All right, bye-bye.

Stupid asshole laughing too much.

That was a retarded milkman.

Don't fucking laugh.

don't you fucking laugh and not not okay hang on give me a second here to situate myself in just a

moment in the middle of turning on the toll-free line so our callers can call in and call called

upon it's a damn shame we weren't broadcasting on our station we shall see hang on everybody

just a moment here let me uh are you in the chat room dude did you make it in there yet

just a moment here milkman keep talking because you speak so clearly to everybody

bye hello no there's the facts i heard the facts milkman we have breaking news milkman milkman the

toll-free line is now open we interrupt milkman for a breaking news bulletin okay seriously we

are going to call and i'm being told that our mouth stream is dead like it's not working what

is going on everybody if you can confirm that out there confirm it the mouth is closed or is the

mouth open the next prank call is going to be this uh teacher that i talked about earlier steven

and Mills, everybody. Okay? Okay.

Okay, so right, so right, okay.

Coming up next, we're going to play a song.

I don't know which song. Let's see here. We're going to put it in the

song machine.

Chat room.

They're all there, man. They're all in the chat room.

Don't worry about it. Everybody's

except for Dr. Lego.

This show's so bad

tonight, Milkman, we even lost Jonathan. Isn't that bad?

Isn't that sad? Isn't that horrible?

At least you're still here. Yeah!

Milkman's still here, everybody.

Okay.

Okay, we have the Townsmen Inn in Gina, Louisiana.

A guy answered there.

This is the town.

This is where the march is going on, Gina, Louisiana.

The march was in Gina, Louisiana.

It already happened, huh?

Well, I hope they freed them.

Going to try to find some open places there.

So here, this is from Lonesome Loser.

And Lonesome Loser, thank you, man.

The hardest working man in Israel.

Jonathan's calling back.

There's no excuse for hanging up on us.

Hey, Jonathan.

There you go.

I'm acting up.

He's got it.

Look, I'm going to move on with the show, but thank you very much for calling in.

All right, bro?

And take care of yourself, Jonathan.

And coming up next, as I'm saying, is the Townsman Inn in Gena, Louisiana.

Just a moment, folks, for the next prank call.

This is going to be Rotisserie Wallace.

Remember him?

We haven't talked about him in a while.

Man, I've heard him a lot.

We have Ted on the line.

What's going on, Ted?

Make

sure that you're audible.

Myself, though.

Must be working.

Dude, is the mouse stream working now?

Yeah.

I lost so many listeners tonight because of that.

I feel like a fool.

I can't wonder, God, there's only one, two listeners on there?

It must really suck tonight.

You know, I think it might be the most.

Yeah.

I think it happens a lot during the day.

Really?

Where you connect and then it just doesn't.

You know what it was?

I was running the, by mistake, instead of running at 22 kilohertz, I was running at

It had a higher sample rate, and I didn't even notice.

I finally found it, and I fixed it, yeah.

So that's my fault.

That's my fault, because I just had to put in an intro file,

and it was a horrible nightmare.

But it's actually working normally now.

Yeah, it's really weird broadcasting.

Yeah, all you hear, it won't die, but it'll just play silence.

People can tune in, but all they hear is silence.

It's really wicked.

It sucks, but it's fixed now.

It's fixed now.

So, yeah, go ahead.

I'm okay.

Do you have your sound effect for that?

Do you want the crisis or just the breaking news one?

Breaking news.

Okay.

So I bought a virtual server with, like, several hundred gigabits of bandwidth.

I plan to, like, have, like, IRC servers on it,

Shellcast servers if you guys want it.

Okay. Okay. Interesting.

Well, that's good. That's good.

So what was Ted Web? I was never around for Ted Web.

Was that a prank call thing, or was it just, like, a server thing?

It was, like, my website.

Just, like, your space.

I'm going to bring that back to life.

I'm probably going to run, like, TeamSpeak servers and Ventrilo servers, stuff like that.

That's good.

Yeah, that's awesome, man.

Thanks.

I appreciate that for sure.

The TeamSpeak one for sure, because we never know where we're going to lose the one that

Milkman and I use when he's back to normal internet connection.

He's on tonight, though.

You can't talk to him.

He can't talk to you, but he is able to hear you.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

You can hear him.

He can hear you.

So he's listening to you right now.

It's good to have him.

It's amazing.

Talk to you is such a cool thing.

Let's him join the show from a phone.

Yeah.

I was thinking, like, just we have a bunch of our web goodies and gadgets,

just, like, stuff that we use to talk to each other.

Exactly.

Stuff that makes the show work.

I'm trying to light a cigar while I talk to you.

That doesn't work.

I thought you were doing the Jack Masterson voice.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, well, nobody knows that Jack Masterson is really just smoking a cigar the whole time.

Put mayonnaise on it.

Put mayonnaise on your sandwiches.

Oh, you know what?

I bought Cheetos today just for the specific purpose of doing Jack Masterson calls

because I find Cheetos are the best nasty.

While I eat Cheetos, at the same time as doing a prank call,

it comes across as very nasty and fat.

Yeah, like when the saliva mixes with the cheese.

Yeah.

And then it turns into, like, yeah, that's real attractive.

That orange fake, bright orange paste that gets in between your teeth, that one.

Yeah, that's the one.

Okay.

Yummy.

Yeah, man.

So, Oba Johnson, I feel, should call the townsman in.

Did you hear about this whole thing in Louisiana with the kids who were in jail

and the black people went down there to march?

Do you know what I'm talking about?

Uh-huh.

You do?

Well, the Townsman Inn is in G-N-O.

I want to talk about O.J.

Oh, O.J.?

What's your take on O.J.?

I feel like he was doing his business, but he did it very stupidly, as only O.J. could.

It's weird that suddenly they slapped, like, being in murder and all these charges on him

when all he was was in a hotel room pointing a gun at someone, allegedly.

Well, he wasn't holding a gun, though.

I don't think he was that dumb to do that, right?

Wasn't it the other guys were holding a gun?

Where did the kidnapping charge come from?

Like, it's so weird.

It's like they charged him with all this stuff

And it doesn't make any sense

I feel like they're throwing the book at him

Just to see if they can get something to stick

You know what I mean

Something if not anything you know

And usually a jury when they're faced with 12 charges

If they want to you know get him for something

You know the more that there is

The more chances that they'll charge him of a lesser crime

You know what I'm trying to say

If it's this big thing they'll be like

Oh well we'll drop the kidnapping charges

But he's going to be found guilty of conspiracy to commit

I just don't believe something will get him in jail

Yeah

That is so messed up you know

You know, it's like an icon of whatever, a role model.

You know, you let them get away with murder, literally, and then, I don't know, it's just so weird.

You don't think he's innocent of the Goldman Brown murders, do you?

Furman, the cop Furman, set him up, and that's why they lost the case, he says.

I don't know, there was a lot of DNA evidence, Milkman, that you're not paying attention to, you know what I mean?

Glove, a bunch of conspiracies that the shoes were found in different places than the gloves or something like that.

I don't know, there's still no murder weapon. Where's the murder weapon? Who knows?

Well, he flew to Chicago.

Maybe he just threw it away at the airport.

Maybe he threw it out of his...

Ford Bronco.

Bronco.

White Ford Bronco.

I don't think they even sell the Bronco anymore after that.

Okay, do you want to call...

Are you ready to call the townsman in?

I'm ready.

Okay, everybody, we're going to try another prank call here.

Just a moment.

This is Ted from Ted Webb.

Is it tedwebb.com?

Is that going to be the site?

Yeah, I registered the domain yesterday.

With three W's, right?

Yeah.

Okay.

Some bastard took the one with one W.

One, so you just added...

Okay.

But he has enough W's.

Maybe I could convince him.

Maybe.

I'm sending out to you now.

Here we go, everybody.

I was wondering if you could help me.

Like water pouring out or anything?

You can turn the valve off at the bottom of the toilet.

Okay.

Hold on a second while I do that, okay?

Don't go away.

Bring the phone over there.

The toilet by the floor.

I'll have to call someone to try to get him to come and help you.

My God, water is getting into the...

Okay, what room are you in?

Room 116.

Come and see if I can get him to come and help you.

And I'll call you right back, okay?

In just one minute, okay?

I'll call you right back.

She really bought that.

What's this obsession you have with toilet prank calls lately?

Like, you're always messing with the toilet and prank calls.

Like, hang on.

Let's see here what else I've got.

I've got a Walmart in Louisiana also in the same town.

I was going to call about a toilet to Walmart.

Okay, well, I'm going to do a fan-related call.

Feel free to jump in whenever you want, okay?

To call, press enter the 10-digit phone number you wish to call, followed by the pound.

All right, 30 minutes.

Just one minute, okay?

I'll call you right back.

It's your really butt.

Oversize what? Pringles?

What are you saying now, Ted?

I'm screwed up.

Sorry, we got another Walmart.

In the shower.

Seems like that's the best thing you can find in the shower.

We're about to turn it on.

I'm gonna give you a call first.

For sure, it's the electric and everything.

What do you know?

It's one of those big-end showers, you know?

The size of a good walk-in.

The size of a decent bed.

Who wants to buy all the time?

Yeah, well, I took Bill again and I smell again.

They said I was checked out for coccyx.

It's okay.

Yeah, but it puts off the oxygen, too, from the fan.

Yeah.

Well, the fan makes the oxygen.

No, but the fan is going to make oxygen when it turns on, so it's going to blow it out of there.

This water has oxygen in it.

It's going to generate a...

Pass it now!

Okay.

All right, so.

All right.

A Tesco before I knew what a Tesco is?

T-E-S-C-O.

There's a guy named Matt who answered in Louisiana.

There's also a Circle K in Louisiana, we can call.

We also have the Gotta Go Grocery.

That's in Louisiana also.

No, he doesn't do golfs now.

He gets a little nervous sometimes.

times. He's like the cheerleader, you know

what I mean? You know what I'm talking about.

Rah, rah, cheerleader. I'm

Milkman. Anyway, that was kind of fun.

Let's try calling this Circle K, if you think,

okay? You want to take it? It's your turn? Yeah.

In the theory of things? Okay, good, good.

Let me see if I can find a song here to play for

everybody. Everybody, let us know what you thought of the call.

You can reach me here, madhouselive.com.

I have all the messengers up there and everything, Stern,

Syndicate, whatever. Syndicate Radio,

rather, they are listening to us as well.

And we'll be back in a moment with the next

prank call of the night. Maybe a second now.

Everything is running slow today.

They got bad ramp.

Okay.

A date until the 23rd, 22nd, something.

They open it in the car.

The lead up to now.

My luck, and I need some of them.

You got, though.

Don't think they put me in the cashier.

Cashier's you see in your lifetime.

You wouldn't have.

Where I could blah, blah, blah.

CA, they was teaching me how to do a resume.

You did that at the YMCA?

Mm-hmm.

I'm their girl, I'm telling you.

When they do you, DM.

Come in, maybe the time when they get off from a session with you.

I don't even know you.

sometime when

somebody else

got more time

to talk to you

bubba

we were

talking about

your card

oh man

oh hang on

let me see

oh my god

zero

I gotta go

bubba

you wanna call

we can try calling

that in again

never talk over

that thing

we can call the

in once again

or we have the

like I said

the gotta go

grocery as well

grocery

gotta go right now

okay let's call

the gotta go

I'll start it off

since you did

the last one

stay in line here

Ted's back

with us

with more

four more

prank videos

Hey, Gago.

You guys got any grits?

Grits.

What's up?

What do you mean exactly you dug them all up?

What does that mean?

I don't even know who this is.

I'll tell you who I am.

I know what that means.

I'll let you go there because I'm busy.

Dude, I'm a busy man.

That was on mute.

Whenever you hear that sound right here, it's not necessarily they're hanging up.

It's me and myself on mute so I can laugh or make noise or break wind.

That one was definitely hang up.

I try to do it when they're talking so you don't think that they hung up on you because that's happened before.

Um, yeah, we can't call international, unfortunately.

Do you have the ability to do that on Skype?

Is that what Nunu's telling me?

Yeah, I could call, I could be.

Did you get that number from him, or from Lonesome, or should I send it to you?

You have to send it.

What's your rate for international?

Do you get free also, or?

No, but it's like...

A nicer bandwidth here would definitely be all over that, man.

All over?

It just doesn't work for shows for me.

I just have crappy bandwidth.

I'm sure you do better.

What's your upstream?

My upstream is...

Well, you know, it's not that bad.

It's like, um, I want to say it's 800.

800 up is...

It's not a mega up, but I think it's 800 up right now.

I have.

Really?

I have 800.

It's gotten better.

I used to only get like five down.

I did a few speed tests last night.

I was getting right at seven.

So I'm like, oh, pretty good, actually.

Pretty happy, so.

I might go back to Skype.

It's a lot easier than this whole dialing and numbers and yada yada.

Thank you for calling Tesco.

Hey.

Here we go.

If you're inquiring about trading hours, please press one.

This is the UK, everybody.

Please press two.

See him?

Yeah, let's go.

Yeah?

Everywhere, where are you?

Say what?

I need to...

There's no one in the men's clothing room.

Do you want to...

She's winding me up.

You winding me up?

You just need to bring them back and return them on your hairnet.

She's winding me up.

It's like, start me up.

Start me up.

Put it in my bun.

She's still there.

She's still...

Vote, Ted.

Do you vote?

Are you into voting?

Into that scene?

Yeah, I do vote.

Yeah?

Hang up on her.

Yeah.

Good.

Just curious.

Do you vote in the primaries or just the general election?

I vote in both.

I vote as much...

I vote as often as possible.

Every November 9th or whenever it is.

I'm under the illusion that it matters.

Yeah, I know. The illusion.

So they say, oh, you know, it doesn't, it doesn't.

You know, I found out that the precinct that I vote at

is one of the ones that in the 2004 election,

the vote counting machine was counting them backwards.

So more than likely my vote didn't count in the 2004 presidential election.

It's pretty crappy.

When only like 50% of the population goes on votes anyway.

Yeah, it's gotten better because in like 96 and stuff,

it was like, what, 30% in the 30s, I think?

Something like that.

It's gone up since then because of all the controversy after the 2000 election.

I heard on the Daily Show yesterday that something about the Republicans trying to find a way

so that all of California's electoral votes don't go Democratic.

Really?

Yeah, they're trying to, like, find a way to get, like, about one-third of the votes Republican.

Why?

They're trying to say Republicans are an underrepresented minority in California.

So then you get to have a handicap? Is that what they're saying? Bullshit.

Yeah, so those poor rich white people in the O.C. are being underrepresented.

Yeah, they can get an extra little boost.

Three votes for each of their one they get.

Yeah, okay, that sounds really fair.

Uh-huh, can't wait for that, dude.

Anyway, you want to do another prank call or are you going to call it a night here?

Good, good.

Let's do a few more here before I take a break.

I just want to remind everybody that we are, this is Madhouse Radio, madhouselive.com, 98.6mout.com.

We also are broadcasting on our main station here, I guess, for the night,

is SternSyndicate.com, Stern Syndicate Radio.

Ted, you're not a fan of the Stern show, are you?

Don't listen to it?

I've never listened, so I have no opinion.

No opinion. Okay, that's good.

Neutral party here on the line with us.

I have Sonic Boom Records.

We have Easy Street Records here.

We've got a grocery store, one of those IGA, whatever they're called,

IGA grocery stores.

That reminds me of those, like,

the Stapylatorines.

Stapylatorines.

You know, the hair removal products

that they show on TV

and, like, the cucumber melon light cream,

like those infomercials that...

That's all crap.

What were you talking about?

You know, the mall here in town,

they have a store that all they sell

is stuff that you see on TV,

you know what I'm saying?

Like, it's called As Seen on TV Show.

Yeah.

Yeah,

Yeah, I get tempted.

I see stuff and I say, that looks kind of cool, but everything looks so cheaply made.

You know, all the knives and the different stuff.

I did buy something there once.

The one that you should get and it's supposed to...

See, that's functional.

That'll work.

I don't know.

It's like, I use it.

I've tried using it and it's like you have to shake it.

it, you know, masturbation style for about 10 minutes before you get even a slight beam

of light.

You do have to do it for a while.

Yeah, it's good, like, little magnets, and it makes kind of a funky kind of feeling when

you move it up and down, kind of, you know, it's like, eh, eh, eh.

Yeah, I bought Athena, what is it, a cigarette, like, uh, ashtray that holds all the smoke

inside of it so none of the smoke comes out?

A smokeless ashtray.

A smokeless ashtray, yeah, for her car, because she smokes and it's disgusting and

I hate it.

But then again, I'm smoking a cigar right here in the air.

Eh, go figure.

Yeah, but you're not supposed to smoke in the car, though.

If you ever want to sell the car, you'll never be able to.

Yeah, and you get holes in the furniture.

It gets in the AC system, and it stinks up everything.

You get ashes all over.

You know what?

Don't smoke in the car, people, all right?

Don't smoke in the car.

Like my dad tries smoking, like...

That doesn't work.

Yeah, that's it.

I'm going to get every single speck of smoke outside the window.

This is what the forever flies like.

Sounds pretty bad.

It sounds like on the air.

I don't know.

I don't know. I think there might be something wrong with your forever flashlight

because it normally doesn't take that long from the store.

I don't know. I think that might be a defective one, my friend.

Karen's asking me where I got this.

She doesn't remember. She doesn't care.

I thought I'm funny. I'm forever funny.

I know. How could you? How dare you?

Okay, here's this guy, this guy, Mr. Mills.

I'm going to read to you the different rules that he has here.

Give me a moment here so I can pull that up.

Okay, entering the classroom.

Quietly enter the room ready to work.

The first person entering the room should pass out the papers.

Touch any equipment or supplies only when directed.

Sharpen any pencils before you begin work.

Copy the assignment listed.

Begin bell work.

Oh my God, this guy has bell work.

I don't know.

Students will receive one late pass per grading period.

A late pass will excuse any late assignments.

Staple the late pass on the paper and return it during your class period on the next school day.

When you are tardy, enter the room quietly.

Do not interrupt the teacher.

Teacher, complete a red tardy slip and list the reason for your tardiness.

Staple your pass to the red tardy slip.

Place the red tardy slip in the blue assignment box and then be seated and get to work.

He's got rules for everything.

When you need a pencil or paper, do not disturb the class or teacher.

If no lesson is being taught or no one is talking,

quietly walk to where pencils and paper are kept.

Take what you need.

Oh my, this guy's quieting down for the teacher.

He's got rules for quieting.

When you are absent, do not ask the teacher for your assignment.

Go to the missed work folders on the bulletin board.

Find the folder.

Locate your packet with your name on it.

Take it back to your seat.

If you do not understand the assignment,

use the procedure to ask a question when the teacher isn't teaching.

Enlarge letters.

Write absent in the top margin.

Return the completed assignment.

Check your CD-ROM for any needed paper.

Oh, my God.

This guy is insane.

Yeah, I think he set it up so that he doesn't even have to do anything.

He's got a whole system for him not to do work

Except for give his lecture

This guy's in his 6th grade too

Who wouldn't have this fool as a teacher

This guy sucks

My 6th grade teacher was totally awesome

Yeah

We had no homework

She never gave us homework

Ever in that class

The one that I had

My 6th grade class

My favorite grade was the 6th grade

I just posted the rules for everybody in the chat room

If you want to check that out

Ted would you like to call him

I'm ready to call him and complain.

I'm going to tell him that my son...

I'm looking at it.

I'm going to say that my...

He thinks he's in college.

Getting a drink.

You will not be able to leave class for a drink.

Don't ask.

That's it.

How many different...

Trying to see the number of issues in his FAQ.

FAQ, whatever.

Is it FAQ or FAQ?

How do you pronounce that?

FAQ?

FAQ, I do too.

He's got 39.

He's got 39 total.

Traveling in the hall.

Walk to the right of the hallway or stairs.

Talk only if necessary and use two feet voices.

Running is permitted only in gym class.

Yada, yada, yada.

All right, well, I'm going to call.

If you don't mind being the son or something,

I'm going to call as the father.

We're confused as to how to handle some situation.

You understand?

Okay.

All right, hang on, everybody.

The next prank call is to the crazy teacher.

Sir, bollocks.

All right, I'm going to go take a break.

Thank you for calling in, man.

It's always great having you on the air.

Everyone look out for Ted, www.web.com.

Yeah, the one with one wa.

Yeah, you want to go there.

I'm going to make sure there's nothing bad,

like Lemon Party or something.

But, anyway, yeah, Ted, I'll talk to you about your services, man.

That's an awesome deal.

Remember, you're always welcome to be on this stream if you want to also, man.

Hey, did you get to hear the Turd Burglar show last weekend?

I think I, yeah, I caught part of it.

Oh, you did?

Okay, cool, cool.

I only heard parts of it, too, but I understand it was pretty good.

He's got a good broadcast voice, that's right.

He was doing some funny stuff.

All right, dude.

Ted, thanks for calling in, man.

Take care of yourself.

We'll talk to you next week, all right?

Ted, everybody, Ted.

Big Ted on the mouse stream.

Ooh, echo.

That's better.

Hey, everybody.

We are continuing on with the show.

All right, I've got to take a break.

I'm going to turn that down a little bit.

So, yeah, Madhouse Radio, MadhouseLive.com, SternSyndicate.com.

I just want to mention here real quick, everybody who may not know,

Zolar will be on tomorrow night at 10 p.m. Eastern Standard Time.

Zolar and the Zolar Vision.

Zolar Party Nation, everybody, tomorrow night.

Be sure to listen to that here on SternSyndicate.com, my favorite website on the internet.

Milkman, of course, will be on Saturday night with Milkman's Milk Corner.

corner milkman good luck with that that's right look man any thoughts on the first hour of the

show man moving slow but moving nonetheless we've had worse we've had better that's right the next

half of the show we'll be back we'll be back with more prank calls again the toll-free line if you

want to reach us here tonight remains the same 1-888-278-8509 again the toll-free line here

tonight where you can reach us is 1-888-278-8509 i do want to mention that turd burglar is also

Also now doing a show every Saturday night around midnight, Eastern Standard Time.

That's the Turd Burglar Show.

Very talented prank call.

He's friends with the Phone Losers of America.

Did an awesome call here.

That's on 98.6 The Mouth, 98.6themouth.com, as well as madhouselive.com.

Saturday nights at midnight, Eastern Standard Time, Turd Burglar.

Be sure again to visit our website for our podcast, our prank archives, our show archives, everything else that's there.

I understand that the Stern Syndicate site was down last night.

I don't know if it's back up tonight.

i hope they get up as soon as possible my services are available to you folks at stern syndicate to

help you guys get back online as soon as possible i love you guys dino is a cool guy i just want

everybody to know now that i'm really cool uh dino i talked to him on the phone personally last night

he just wanted to relay some information to me on stern syndicate how you guys work and i'm very

happy and fortunate to be a member of the stern syndicate family of course i'm friends with zolar

good friends with zolar i've worked with rev in the past before he's okay that kid rev's got the

juice as i always say what's up ref anyway so we'll be right back in just a moment we're going

to be coming back with some more prank calls let me see if i can tell you exactly what's coming up

next we have elizabeth bolton elizabeth bolton in ireland coming up next we also have mugs and

jugs sports bar and grill in washington states we've got gypsies trucking in washington states

washington states uh-huh and uh we might even call the fuck you bitch motherfucker guy

anyway during the break we're going to be playing some music here we're also going to be playing a

The classic prank call, I don't know if you heard this one, Milkman, but stay tuned, stay on the talk show line there so you can hear that.

That's an awesome prank call made to us here by Reclude on our last show two weeks ago.

And of course, this show will be updated on the podcast by tomorrow evening.

Let's hear it for the podcast, everybody.

All right, it's 11.51 p.m. Eastern Standard Time here in the mouth.

We'll be right back with more show.

We'll be back in just a moment, folks.

It's too doggone late.

We'll be back right after this.

Don't tell me 40,000 people are coming here.

Not here.

You don't talk to me like that, bitch.

I don't even know who the fuck this fucker is.

Put your man on the phone, I said.

What are you crying for?

Yeah.

Have gas?

Madhouse Radio is live Thursday nights at 10 p.m. Eastern.

Why don't you shut the hell up?

Fuck you!

Be sure to visit us online at madhouselive.com.

Uh-huh.

Madhouse Radio is back on here, everybody.

doing what we do that's right what's up milkman how you doing there how do you fare

you're off you now man that call i got a big gun you see what happened let me explain that

for y'all reclude said that he could do any prank call character that kdk does 10 times better

so he actually started off doing like you know jill rosenthal and everything and i i kind of

think he was right reclude did a better job doing kdk's characters jill rosenthal and ed rosenthal

That's a funny big black gun call.

We're going back a long way.

Yeah, I was a joke.

Yep.

Yes, sir.

So everybody, like I said, be sure to stay tuned here.

We're going to do some more prank calls before we call it a night.

It is now midnight.

It's Friday.

The unofficial start to the weekend is upon us.

And what's up to all of you in Stern Syndicate?

Milkman, I'm going to give you the total numbers here for Stern Syndicate tonight if you're ready.

The biggest member of our network.

Let's see if I can get that here.

21 listeners live.

We've had a total of 196 listeners tonight on the Stern Syndicate Network, everybody.

So good work, Stern Syndicate.

You guys rock.

SternSyndicate.com, everybody.

In the chat room, we have Lonesome Loser, Tuck, Ted Webb's in there hanging out.

We got Clay.

Nunu was in there until earlier.

Nunu's still in there.

We got Big Repo.

He is.

Saigon's in there, of course.

Saigon, what's up, my nigga?

Hyper, Super, all those other dudes.

On the other side, Zolar is in there still, I see.

We've got a lot of people.

The Godfather in there.

Earth Dogs is up.

What's up, Earth Dogs?

Rev is in there.

That's some others that I don't recognize here.

Rocky, Saigon again.

They're all there, man.

What's up to Gina, DJ, BJ, Eyes.

What's up, girl?

How you doing?

Good.

Hurry up and get your internet service fixed, man, so we can get you back on the regular.

On the regular.

You know what I mean?

I need my lieutenants back.

Get my all good Madhouse Mercedes.

Madhouse Mercedes.

That's right.

Gang Green just checking in to the Madhouse Radio Network.

What's up, Gang Green?

Welcome in.

You good?

All right.

Good guy.

I don't see the dead anywhere, though.

Anyway, so what I wanted to talk about here...

Fuck, I forgot now.

You confused me, dude.

I was going to talk about something important, but I totally forgot what it was.

Anyway, so prank calls are what we need to talk about.

Here comes Elizabeth Bolton.

Elizabeth Bolton in just a moment here.

Look, man, I don't know what's going on tonight, but it's too loud.

That's one thing.

I don't know what's going on tonight, but we can't get any calls to go through, man.

I'm trying to call England now, and I just keep getting errors whenever I try to call.

I'm having trouble with the, whatchamacallit, the phone card.

The phone card is being ugly, being a bitch with me tonight.

You gotta love Crystal Latin.

Awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome, dude. Thank you.

We need to talk after the show.

We need to talk after the show, by the way.

I'm thinking about cutting the show off, because I feel bad for all the people who will stay tuned in.

But not much in the way of numbers that we can call right now,

because all I really have right now stocked up would be international.

Actually, actually everybody that tunes in that does participate in the choice of my house realizes that it was all about you.

And a listener can provide numbers for people that need a dozen ways for you to get your part.

Yeah, man, what you said.

I'm talking now.

An ill policy in my name up in lights and...

And you need to know how to keep up with what's going on.

I haven't sent out a new newsletter like in two months, man.

You know what I mean?

That's all right.

Soon enough I'll...

Yeah, excuse me, I'm tired.

There's stuff that I want to talk about, but why even drag drama back into this whole thing?

I just, there's just stuff, stuff.

You know what I mean?

Drama, drama, drama.

Definitely drama stuff.

Always something going on.

More fun, have fun.

Yeah, so everybody, if you want to call in, now is your chance.

If not, we're going to start closing up the show here because we, Lonesome Losers, are taking a break right now.

We're having trouble getting international calls to go through.

Yeah, I've got a friend out there.

I'm sure that's...

We can play another...

That's your favorite.

That reclude, we can play another reclude call

that we haven't played yet.

Oh, please, you guys have...

Hey, Milkman, let me ask you something.

Have you noticed that when you smoke weed,

sometimes if you listen to stuff in stereo,

it can kind of scare you sometimes?

You know what I mean?

It pops up from...

Your music perception is enhanced.

You know what I'm talking about?

yeah now what's uh pink floyd is really good for that kind of thing right like you you kind of the

way you the way you listen to pink floyd you get your mind altered however you want to do it

and you play the album from beginning to end that's that's the best way to experience pink

floyd right yeah really paying attention yeah it's trippy i know you smoke yourself you smoke

yourself you roll yourself a blonde you take yourself a nice uh smoke yourself a few bowls

you know i'm saying whatever it takes whatever type whatever you do you listen to yourself some

I'm Pink Floyd.

I'll tell you what, man.

That is a night at home well spent.

So, we're going to play Pink Floyd or something.

I don't know what else is out there.

A lot of people like to do the Bob Marley thing.

I'm not too big on smoking and listening to Bob Marley.

Because it seems every office I've worked at, there's always Bob Marley playing.

Someone likes to play Bob Marley on Friday.

Every office I've worked at, Friday's like, oh, you get to come in in jeans and we play Bob Marley at 4 p.m.

It's like, fuck that shit, dude.

Fuck that.

Bob Marley's so overdone, you know.

I hear a lot of Bob Marley.

Oh, I'm sure.

Yeah, you're in the islands, man.

Isn't he, like, revered like Pele, kind of?

Or Che Guevara?

It's like Che Guevara, Bob Marley, and Pele.

Like, who's that kid?

That kid, Sean Paul?

He's a sellout, man.

I don't like Sean Paul at all.

I don't appreciate Sean Paul.

Sean Paul's all right.

He's definitely a man.

No, no, no.

Exactly.

They termed his roots with...

I hate reggaeton man

I can't stand reggaeton

It's the same beat

I hear the Eddie Garcia

Yo what's up

Yo I got my reggaeton

All you hear from the distance

It's the same beat over and over again

All the reggaeton is like

It's like fuck

It's so boring

Reggaeton is so mindless and retarded

I don't like it

Milkman hold that thought

We're going to play Mr. White Devil by Reckler

This is a prank call.

It's five minutes long.

Mr. White Devil.

Recklood calls a, what does he call now?

He calls the nation.

He calls one of those Muslim, black Muslim.

You know what I mean?

I forgot which one it is.

It's like some kind of university.

University of Black Islam or something like that, I think it was called.

Anyway, so he calls as, he calls as a black man at first,

and then he changes into the White Devil, everybody.

Here we go.

Recklood.

UALC.

As-salamu alaykum, my brother.

As-salamu alaykum.

What's up, man? I want to join y'all. What I got to do, man. I got my beret, man. I got my beans.

You need to get over here.

Ready.

Get over here, like, quick. You know what I'm saying?

You know what I'm saying? I'm talking about that black, man.

You know what I'm saying?

I'm marching. Marching.

Marching.

Man.

Shit, man. I want to get in one of them stop lines. Yard.

What's up, man? Tell me something. Tell me something. Preach on me.

Preach on you?

Well, now.

Yeah.

We, as a people, you know, first I need you to start with, you know, repeat after me.

Uh-oh.

Say, I am somebody.

Somebody.

That's what I'm talking about.

I am somebody.

I know.

I feel you.

I am somebody.

You know what I'm saying?

I always felt that.

You know what I'm saying?

I've been telling everybody that last week.

Oh, yes, sir, my friend.

All right.

So what else I got to do?

What's step number two?

Oh, step number two.

All right.

It's pretty late here.

Okay.

Well, hold on a second.

Man, I got somebody who wants to talk to you real quick.

Alright, I'm on, man.

I will, they're on their way here.

Hold on a second, hold on a second.

Yes, sir.

Then, now, then, what's the information there?

Big asses have it.

Well, if you spoke a little clearer.

Thunder out, second.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

Now, can you understand me?

Loud and clear, Mr. White Devil, it was?

Well, here's what's going to happen.

Read a new drug.

Psych rain.

My new drug.

Is it rap music?

No.

going to be a diamond you can snort a diamond you can what free base wow what a bargain yes and he

ran down the street buddy what a bargain man yes he loved it i must bid you leave right now yes

sir i am going i'm going to hang out with pal and the rest of his soul hey handle your business

end of your business and by the way you're doing a great job thank you very much i am very yes and

And the next thing I'm going to do, I'm going to the White P. Diddy.

The White P. in honor of me.

Yes, very good.

All righty then.

All right, well, you have a good send-off.

If you ever want to sell your son to me, call on White Devil.

He'll be right down.

We are three, and we are one.

Okie dokie, White Devil.

Goodbye, my son.

I'm not your son, but hey, peace out.

Well, I'm not my son because I disowned you,

But if you ever want to sell yours, let me know.

If you ever want to work, I'm here for you.

All right.

Very good.

All right.

Double.

Goodbye.

I had to turn my mic up.

Hey, Milkman, wasn't that funny?

Wasn't that great?

Wasn't that special?

Yeah,

I like how he had to clear out the thunder.

Let me clear out the thunder.

Okay.

Yeah, clear the thunder out of his voice.

Oh, man.

Okay, so we're going to try this number.

We're going to try this number.

We have American.

You heard from him lately?

Who?

Reclude?

Today, he said he was going to be busy.

He said he was going to be busy tonight, but he was out there.

Hey, we're going to New York.

I don't think he's gone yet, but he said he was staying in tonight, whatever that means.

Okay.

He didn't make it.

Okay.

We have more numbers here in America that we can call immediately.

We can also try that Irish number in a little bit.

But for the time being, we're going to call the Aziz Convenience Store in Texas.

Aziz.

A-Z-I-Z Convenience Store.

Just a moment, folks.

Aziza.

Gaziza.

I'm in a...

Do you see me?

I'm around the corner here sir, I'm gonna flash my lights at you, you see me?

Corner, you see me? I'm flashing my lights at you over here, funny.

Here's some toilet paper.

You think you could come out here and bring me some toilet papers?

Not any right now, we have everything-

No, but I need toilet papers.

An accident in my pants.

I go out-

See my car? I'm over here flashing my lights right now, you see?

Wish.

Mop, I'm gonna call the state to-

I'll shut you down if you don't have a mop, boy.

Toilet papers, I'm gonna call the state to-

I'll call you tomorrow morning.

You a bitch.

You son of a bitch!

I hate the-

You son of a bitch.

He was there the whole time, that idiot.

Dundee Bistro.

Dundee Bistro, everybody.

Yeah, Dundee Bistro.

Dundee Bistro?

Am I still seating?

It's okay if you're not asleep.

I'm outside.

You see me?

I'm flashing my lights right now.

But I had an accident in my pants.

I was wondering, do you have a mop?

Maybe I could clean myself.

Will you have some toilet paper?

Flashing my lights right now.

Fucking with me, Milkman.

Because this is serious.

Second now.

Now, again, if you want to call us, you're toll-free tonight.

It is 888-278-8509.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hold up, hold up.

Time to hold the call back.

Hang up on me.

I got back online and I said hello, hello, and there was no answer.

Well, you see, the machine, I have a phone machine, and it says disconnected.

It said by person on it, person.

It said your person.

Who is the person over there that hung up the phone?

I asked the operator who hung up the phone, and she said it was probably a person.

Well, when we got disconnected, I called the operator first, and I said, I was talking to Laura.

I need to talk to Laura.

And she said, honey, I don't know what it is.

And then I went ahead and I called her back, and she said that someone hung up the phone.

And I asked her, are you sure?

She said she looked in the computer and it said hang up by person.

She said, ask the person.

The operator said, ask the person.

I'm not accusing.

It's just I had an accident in my pants.

I'm incontinent, and I'm here.

Something to clean with, please.

I'm embarrassed to come inside.

Is this Laura?

Problem, I'm embarrassed to get outside.

Come inside in order to take care of anything.

But I was maybe thinking that you could send one of the boys and maybe give me a towel or a mop for myself to clean up with because I made a mess in my pants.

I need to clean it.

Well, why don't you just head right next door?

They, ma'am, made a mess in my pants.

I can't.

I was hoping someone, someone over there would be kind enough to do me a favor.

Bring me a paper towel or two or the mop.

Do you not have a mop?

You don't have a mop?

Because I got hurt on 2020 that if you don't have a mop, the State Department can shut you down.

The State Department.

Laura, please.

You're supposed to bring the mop out if I ask.

It's the Good Samaritan law.

Damn it.

You know, I just realized, Milkman, I changed the voice of that to the man's voice.

I changed the voice.

It's so stupid.

I'm going to listen to that when we hang up.

Milkman, what's up?

Milkman, let's listen to that prank call.

Let's listen to that last damn prank call we did so we can hear how it sounded with the changed voice.

I forgot that I had changed the voice on it.

So I'm reloading the page here in a moment, folks.

We're going to have a Madhouse Instant Replay.

How about that, Milkman, huh?

Anything else we can talk about, Milkman?

Anything else going on?

No?

Oh, God, yeah, right.

The whole housing market.

When you join the ranks.

The housing market is right here right now.

That's what happened to Dr. Lego, did you hear?

Dr. Lego lost a lot of money on the stock market,

and he stopped doing his show on the stock market in the thousands.

In the thousands, Milkman, in the thousands.

Hundreds of thousands, I think.

No, tens of thousands.

Let's talk to Dead Dead.

I think this is Dead Dead.

On the air, this is Madhouse Radio. Go ahead.

You're fucking acting like a motherfucker or what?

I'm feeling the slow now.

You're not doing no fucking heroin or something, man?

I'm not into heroin, okay? I'm not into that at all. That's stupid.

Where did you get that from, that stupid?

You're fucking Carlito, man.

You get that from a straight-to-DVD movie, man.

You're fucking Carlito, man, though, man.

Yeah.

Carlito, wait, you know the original movie, man.

You get fucking killed at the end.

That's good. So what have you been doing with your life, buddy?

Are you still going to film school, or what are you doing now?

Nah, I'm not doing nothing.

I'm a fucking loser.

I'm just fucking sitting at home fucking messing.

Are you drinking still?

Yeah.

I got a new manager, though.

Okay, a new manager?

She sent a line away to me right now.

Okay, manager, the dead's manager.

Emmy.

Oh, is this that Emmy Rose chick?

Yeah.

What's up, Emmy Rose?

What's your website?

I'm a little sick.

I sound stupid.

Oh, that's fine.

Can you give us your website that's, like, impossible to find?

Because it's like Lost Boys with, like, three Zs.

Two Zs.

Why would you do that?

That's so hard to find.

It's a nickname they always use, so that's why I did it that way.

Oh, man.

All right, so.

Do you guys do shows, or is Da Dead involved with you?

He's in your stable now?

You signed Da Dead?

He hasn't done one with us yet, but, I mean, he's come in the chat room with us before, but.

Oh.

Looks like we're.

Da Dead's finding a new camp.

Yeah, we're still trying to tweak out the whole stick-em chat thing.

Oh, okay.

Okay, stick to Shoutcast, you know, stick to Shoutcast.

Yeah, yeah, I do.

I usually do Drunken Friends Radio, where I DJ for.

That's where I've been broadcasting our shows,

but I'm trying to figure out how I can do it both at the time, you know,

so it doesn't bog down my computer.

Oh, yeah, you need a good bandwidth to do that, my dear.

Good luck with that.

Yeah, and I don't have very much.

Good luck with that.

Well, we have slots available on the Madhouse on the mouth,

So you're always you're always welcome. What time do you do a show normally Wednesday night thing or what is it exactly Monday night?

It's really late like around 11 after 11 p.m.

Easter we have 45 stereo slots if you ever want to if you ever want to go on you get more than welcome

So the dead guys, I'm gonna move on did you the dead do you want to do a prank call for some reason here?

I know I call the Beverly Hills Center for sexual medicine for calling

All right, the dad everybody the dead calm and lost boys with three Z's and a w that bit that's that calm

What the head calm you man? What are you drinking that vodka? Fuck it? I did some Manhattan sweet

That sounds like a party whiskey vermouth Wow, man, that's yeah, you pray for you every night

Okay, you drinking Manhattan's isn't that a gay drink? That's like a cosmopolitan, right?

You drink girl drinks. Manhattan is a girl drink.

That's a girl drink. That's a girl drink.

You drink girl drinks, man. That's for girls.

Isn't that like the Cosmopolitan in Manhattan? Those are all the girl drinks?

You drink Fuzzy Navels, you pussy.

You drink sex on the beach.

Hey, he can hear you. You're not allowed to talk to him.

This man can go, um, call me later, man.

All right, kids.

Head to dad.

Yeah.

You too.

Fuck you.

Up your ass.

You whiskey gay drinker.

Drinking girl drinks.

You drink wine coolers, you vagina.

You're such a girl.

I bet you like, uh...

I don't know where I've been.

You drink wine coolers is all you drink, I bet.

Wine coolers...

Hey, you know what?

You know what?

Uh-huh.

Do you mind a fucker?

No, it sounds like another girl drink.

What is it?

Oh, there's a 192 gray knuckle 92 crew.

Yeah, you put a drop of that, put a drop of that, you put a drop of that, and you chase it down with, huh?

Yeah, fuck you, man.

You chase it down with apple juice?

Hell, man.

Alcohol? Do you eat your alcohol in applesauce?

Yeah, fuck you, fucking ass.

You take a shot of whiskey, you put it in a big applesauce, and then you eat the applesauce.

Hey, you know what?

Your girl.

Go fucking fuck me up and get fucking...

What? Make him humble. Humble, man.

Get fucking fuck me up.

Hit him in the ass and break his back, super ace.

He's got AIDS, too.

Huh?

AIDS.

Fuck you, man.

Fuck you.

Go away.

The dead, I'm hanging up on you.

You go away, motherfucker.

You're not allowed to call in ever again.

Come on, man.

Until you drink like a man.

You show me your dick, and I'll let you back on.

Yeah, fuck you.

I'll show you my cock right now, but it's in the fucking house, so I'm not going to

fucking show it to you.

Yeah, all right.

Well, you keep drinking your wine coolers, buddy.

I'm going to go.

Bye-bye, my friend.

Yeah, fuck you.

Bye.

Yeah, fuck you, too.

Bye.

I love you, gang green, man.

Gang green.

Not the dead.

Milkman is off of mute now.

What are you doing?

I have to mute him.

Milkman just destroys everything that he touches.

Anyway, that was the dead everybody.

That was just joking around.

We love the dead.

The dead's cool.

He's a good kid.

Milkman, turn that music down.

Now.

What is that?

What's wrong with you?

You know we're on the air.

Stop that.

You're not paying for that electricity.

Stop it.

You're stealing it.

Okay, we're going to play that call now.

All right.

Stop it.

Calling the Dundee Bistro.

This is Laura.

May I help you?

Sorry, what?

Hang up on me.

I didn't.

I got back online and I said hello, hello, and there was no answer, so I hung up then.

The machine, I have a phone machine.

Who is the person over here?

What?

This sounds like shit.

I asked the operator who hung up the phone.

Yeah, this sounds like crap.

Milkman, turn that off.

It sounds funnier to hear it like regular, despite the fact.

Milkman, are you still playing music over there?

Whatever.

Milkman, we have a special caller on the line.

Man, how's the radio here in the air?

Yes, you are.

Worm, how are you, sir?

We meet again.

Tell me what...

Pedge Jamison has been eating lately.

Hello, Pedge.

What's going on, man?

KDK has been playing the Halloween music on his shows for the last two weeks.

Oh, KDK.

Yeah.

He would spread it for just about any horror developer person.

What the fuck am I saying?

I'm ready for a joint meeting.

So what's the news with Pedge's empire?

I heard it was gone.

What happened with Pedge and Zolar?

Were you privy to any of that information at all?

We're going to hang up with you now.

Thank you very much for calling in tonight, all right?

Okay.

Is this a whole thing to get back at Zolar?

are? What's this about? Why are you calling in?

Why tonight? Why here? Why now?

Okay, that's good, man. Well, we all get to, you know,

shake the gayness out every once in a while. Be stupid.

No problem with that, my friend. What's been going on?

Are you doing a show anymore? What's your deal now?

Yeah, I just did a show tonight. Yeah? How'd it go?

Did pretty good. I see you had over 100 listeners

there recently. Actually, this morning

I was looking at the

comedy streams of the shoutcasts, and I saw you were

in about the top of the middle

range of listenership there.

It was pretty respectable. Well, you know,

know, it's not me doing that, it's, like, people, like, you know, you know what I mean?

Yeah, I know, but I'm saying that's, you have a, you have good content, I started thinking,

I saw this, you know, you know, as she plays the, uh, stand-up comedy, people really go

for that, this prank call thing isn't really that, that hot, you know what I mean, and

not like, not, not something like that, I was thinking of trying to come up with something

I could put up, content-wise, that wouldn't, that would gain a lot, a lot of people like

to listen to while they're at work, and I, the stand-up comedy works, you know, I can

only, I can only tolerate so many of those Arnold prank calls, you know what I'm saying,

over and over and over again.

Good morning, how are you?

There should be no more...

I would give good money to...

I would give KDK $100

if he never played one of those prank calls again

in this stupid stream.

You know what ruined prank calls?

Soundboards, yes.

And listen...

And the same stuff that everyone...

He's got the gift of pressing the button

at just the right time.

Kid.

That kid knows what he's doing.

Yeah, you got a point.

I really hate...

I frown upon soundboards.

Well, hey, it's good to talk to you, man.

You never called in,

but I never really...

You know that...

Remember you told me once

and said I could be on your stream

if I paid you 20 bucks a month

and I laughed at you.

I was just falling for it.

I just thought it was pretty funny,

but I would never pay that kind of money.

You really wanted to charge Zolar 20 bucks, dude?

You were going to charge Zolar 20 bucks

to be on your stream?

I don't know.

Maybe he was just trying to pay you as a friend,

or was it actually a deal,

or were you invoicing him for the deal?

20 bucks a month.

I told him, like, we need that much money.

Okay.

I'm not getting good.

Well, hey, if you believe he's a good guy,

that's fine, dude.

Thank you for calling in, though.

If you want to plug your site now, go ahead.

socialcrimeradio.something

socialcrime.com

everyone check out

socialcrimepedge

it's nice talking to you

keep in touch man

alright buddy

see you later now

I'm not taking sides

or anything

I'm just you know

Pedge wanted to call in

Zolar call in if you want man

you got the hotline

and if you call in Zolar

I can actually

you wanna talk

you know talk out

what happened

with that you know

I'm like dude

fuck you Pedge

how you gonna charge

20 bucks for

for Zolar to be on your stream

man that's some bullshit

you know Dino doesn't

charge me to be on

the Stenekit

Dino's a forward-thinking man.

He's not a Dr. Lego, and he's not a Peds Jameson, and he's not a KDK.

He's Motherfucker Dino, man.

What's up, Motherfucker Milkman?

How are you, Motherfucker?

What's your Motherfucker problem?

Milkman, Motherfucker.

Motherfucker Milkman is not Motherfucker Doctor.

Excuse me.

Wow, it's 12.52.

I said I was going to end the show like an hour ago.

Should I keep doing the show?

Anybody?

Everybody?

Let me know.

The live version sounded better, Carlito.

I don't know what he's talking about.

Dude, I totally forgot I was on the air for a second there.

I'm really out of it.

Milkman, take us out of here.

We're ending the show.

Emergency abort.

Milkman, are you there?

Going once, going twice.

No, Milkman.

Milkman would say at this time,

I'd like to thank everybody out there,

from the listener and the Carlito and hearing the man.

I'd like to thank, especially, I'd like to thank Lonesome Loser,

the hard-working man in Prank Hall Radio.

Lonesome Loser, thank you very much.

I'd also like to thank you, Tad, Tad, for giving us this crazy boxing ring here we call PCU.

Everybody like to thank Tad.

I'd also like to thank Dr. Lego, Dr. Lego in there, you know, Dr. Lego, he go, bro, bro, bro, whatever, whatever I'm doing.

I'd like to thank everybody on Stern Syndicate, sternsyndicate.bomb.

I'd like to thank Saigon for showing up tonight.

Repo says keep going.

Everyone wants me to keep going, but I'm definitely aborting the show.

everybody listening on talk show tonight we have 12 listeners on talk show and an okay show tonight

stern syndicate.com tomorrow night zolar will be on zolar will be on tomorrow at 10 yeah zolar is

on i'm gonna make a promo for zolar like this zolar is on okay all right everybody we're out

of here madhouse live.com is the best site in the world and where you should all go to madhouse

I am the King of Prank Calls.

I am the King of Prank Calls, motherfucker.

I am the King of Prank Calls, bitch.

Calls (11, 31 min of 1 h 58 min)

Transcript

Comments 0