2007-11-15 Show

Who plays?

What happens in America?

Well, we steamed your ass in World War II.

What do you have to do?

You never did.

And who helped you out just now?

You pissed off, woman.

Don't talk to me like that.

We don't need you anyway, bitch.

Shut up.

Fuck you.

Call me a stinky, stinky fucker.

You are listening to the Madhouse Radio Podcast.

All right, everybody.

We are here.

Finally here.

Why are we here again?

Oh, yeah, for that.

Hey, man.

It's Madhouse Radio, man.

Thanks for tuning in, man.

I keep hitting the microphone.

phone that's great radio right there everybody quality quality stuff all right folks manhouse

radio is back we're here in full effect 100 not for concentrate carlito is here tonight

98.6 degrees of his mouth is beaming onto the microphone right now 98.6 no respect the mouth

the mouth is open the mouth is in session everybody manhouse radio has returned milkman

of course is here milkman making his triumphal return to the internet machine which is

madhouse radio what's going on milkman very good statement i'm sure if milkman was here he'd be

like yeah man i just got back home man milkman will be joining us shortly milkman i guess he

never really left the show he just wasn't on the satellite link up but we got him back man i told

you guys i get him back the rest of you didn't believe me ted tuck the warrior baz are here as

well with milkman tonight what's up gentlemen how are you is anybody able to talk i don't think i

i know what i did let's try that again now can anybody hear me now please say something there we

go all right finally all right i forgot to hit the button to turn on the satellite the satellite

was not turned on i did not start my satellite receiver captain picard there in california was

sending a message as well captain who captain retard crazy fuck picard yeah captain picard

Oh, yeah.

Oh, he does.

Hey, Milkman, can you turn your microphone up?

You sound great.

You just got to turn it up a little louder.

You can do that.

It was my fault that there was a delay tonight,

so I want to apologize to the listeners.

No need to apologize.

I have computer problems, and I am back.

I'm back, and hopefully before everybody closes the stream,

we're going to get some laughs in,

because big-ass Carlito's got some fun playing for us.

Heck, yeah.

Milkman, I took care of it on my end.

Don't worry.

Don't touch your mic at all now because you'll be too loud if you do.

All right?

Leave it alone.

Don't touch it.

All right.

I'm not going to move it until you say something.

You don't do anything until I say you do it.

This is Captain Jean-Luc Picard.

Captain Ted Webb is on the line as well, of course, as we said.

This is Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USA Center Pride International Edition.

You know what was in my head all day today?

today was engage i kept thinking engage engage and i don't know why i just kept thinking that

engage like i was i would go to the copier and i'd press the copy machine and i'd say engage

and i think someone heard me and thought i was weird or something but hey you know

i grew up watching that show mr crusher the shitter is full the shitter is full mr crusher

anyway we we have uh yes uh all the gentlemen here tuck i see is here as well host of

of Revolutalk.

Ted is the proprietor of something.

He's the proprietor of Blue Planet Hosting, of course,

and Ted Webb, of course.

And we are, of course, here as well.

So be sure to reach us tonight.

Milkman, go ahead and give out that toll-free line

for people to call in, please, if you could.

Hey, man, that's right, man.

We are going to take the dime, and you give us the time.

It's 888-278-8509.

You can join in the show live, give us some pranks

and suggestions, give us a call.

That's right.

Also, be sure to, of course, go to madhouselive.com.

That is the official homepage of the show you're listening to.

You are listening to us, of course, on the extended Madhouse Radio Network.

Primarily, of course, we do want to say we are definitely on our flagship station,

which is syndicateradio.tv, Syndicate Radio.

Be sure to listen to Syndicate Radio if you're ever out there listening to stuff

because Syndicate Radio is where it's at.

You just heard a great show by Gary the Retard of the Howard Stern Show fame, Howard Stern Show Whack Packer, Gary the Retard.

I think he lives in Oregon.

Is that right, Tuck?

You listen to the Stern Show.

He's from Oregon, right?

Or Washington State, something like that.

He's in the Pacific Northwest, I think.

Don't they fly him out?

I don't know where he's from.

I think they fly him out.

Or is that the other one?

Is that Elephant Boy?

I think one of them lives on Oregon.

I think it's him.

I don't think he lives in New York.

I don't know how that works.

I don't know what's up with that.

Anyway.

They fly him out, but I don't know where he lives.

I think it's Oregon.

Yeah, I know.

They always have to fly him.

When he comes in, he doesn't come in as much, I think, because he comes from far away or something.

I don't know.

Anyway.

They call him a lot, though.

A lot of calls to him, I believe.

All right.

Well, like I said, SyndicateRadio.tv.

A lot of good stuff.

I was privy last Friday to hear a good show by Zolar.

And I also heard Hook Knows Mike.

Not Hook Knows Mike.

Hook Knows Jew, rather.

He did a good show on Syndicate Radio last Friday.

It was pretty good.

It was my first time finally being able to catch him.

I had a very busy schedule up until last Friday.

Kind of been kind of in the last calm here before the storm to the end of my semester.

What's the difference between a hook-nosed Mike and a hook-nosed Jew?

I don't know, man.

There's two different cats, all right?

But they're good people either way, all right?

There's a hook-nosed Mike.

There's a hook-nosed Jew.

Okay.

Hook-nosed Jew is the, I think that's Howard Stern.

It's hook-nosed Jew.

That's what they call him, hook-nosed Jew.

Anyway, hook-nosed Jew wasn't on here.

but oh yeah if you want to i'm sorry i'm taking a hit from a cigar but it is a cigar there's nothing

bad nothing bad here tonight folks yeah um if you want to reach me on aol or yahoo messenger you can

do so madhouse radio is the uh is the screen name madhouse radio for aol and yahoo messengers

if you're using msn messenger as i always say for some weird godforsaken reason you can also reach

me at madhouse live at hotmail.com is my uh my identity on msn messenger that comes straight

right here to me live so if you're out there you don't have me added add me and uh let me know

what's up let me know if you think we're doing good or not a lot of people are online right now

we got a lot of people in the chat room i thank everyone for joining us in uh joining us in i

always fuck that up joining us tonight uh we do have a lot of podcast listeners three new episodes

of the podcast went up uh this weekend last weekend actually actually no i think it was monday so

if uh if you haven't gone if you haven't gotten to the site uh recently there's all the reason

and to do so now because there are three new episodes of Madhouse Radio

edited and up there for you to listen to.

Also, if you join the new forums there,

you can go ahead and check out the newest prank call,

which we'll be playing on the break at the top of the hour,

a little bit at the half of the hour.

We'll take a break around 1130, I think, tonight

and play that prank call.

What was it called now?

Children Who Break Up Marriages.

A great call, an excellent call from last week.

Not an official prank call, but a prank call nonetheless

the less that we will play you can only get it in the forums at madhouse live.com um look at that

someone's already adding me to msn people to um i'm coughing here tonight people you know there's

a lot of people in uh on msn lately i i think i have a lot of like four or five people on there

up until recently lately i've been getting a lot of people on msn uh messenger i didn't know was

that popular it's really from what i've said before i think it's really only popular like

Like overseas, not in the United States, I don't believe.

But I could be wrong.

I could be wrong.

So anyway.

There must be a new update or something going on with that application.

Maybe it's inbred with Vista.

Of course, everyone joining us in the chat room, as I said, thank you.

We've got Baz.

I know Baz is in here, too.

We've got Fall, Cocaineese, Lonesome Loser, of course, checking in.

Nunu, MST3Clay is also in the chat room.

The Talon, Mr. Ripley, all of you kids, thank you very much for joining us.

Lonesome Loser, I'm sure, is busy confirming numbers now.

I see he has sent already quite a few of those numbers for us to prank call.

I see Spike Mike, of course, is also in the house.

Good to see Zolar.

Of course, Zolar will be on tomorrow night.

Man, my mic is way too hot.

There we go.

That's better.

Zolar will be on tomorrow night at 10 p.m. Eastern Standard Time on Syndicate Radio.

Be sure to check that out.

Zolar Vision, very good show.

My favorite show when I'm not listening to Madhouse Radio is Zolar Vision.

You heard that here first, everybody.

body and um yeah a lot of people in there dino's in there too good to see dino in the house i see

the dad's wandering around i see recludes listening in right now recludes uh uh communicating with us

right now and that's good maybe he'll join us later i don't have any news to talk about which

is good news for most of you because i think all you want to hear prank calls is that right

yeah man that's right all right guys who wants to hear prank calls let's hear it yeah yeah

Yeah, falootin' tootin'.

All right, we got a...

Hell yeah, let's get some calls going down.

All right, let's do that.

All right, so let's see what we got here from Lonesome Loser.

Remember, if you have a number you want us to...

Let's do exactly that.

Yes, that's exactly what we'll do.

If you have someone that you want us to prank call for you,

it's not too hard to get that information to us.

If you go to the Madhouse Live webpage, click on Request a Prank,

and in there you'll be magically whisked away to a form

where you can enter the information of your prank call,

and we will do it for you here live in the air tonight for free, no charge to you, all charged to us.

The cost is about $50 per prank call we do.

So be sure that you use it or lose it.

And there's only so much in the budget left, so please do that anyway.

Nunu has sent in a number.

Yes, Milkman, you're going to say Nunu has sent in a number, right?

I am going to say Nunu has sent in a number,

and we do have access tonight to our friend out there listening to International Card.

So if you want to make some international calls, tonight is the night.

That's right.

We're up and running with the famous Madhouse International Call Service.

Also, I would like to mention that a guest is also on my TalkShoe account right now.

Who's this?

If you want to bring him in, the dad is over there listening and enjoying the show as we speak.

The dad's on TalkShoe?

Yeah, I have him on my TalkShoe account right now.

No, I'm not. I'm in the TeamSpeak, Carlito.

Hey, man, what are you talking about, man?

I don't see him in talk show.

Let me look at that again here.

There's only you and me in talk show.

No, he's on my number.

He's on my account.

You stupid bitch, it's time in the team speak.

Oh, the dead's like on now, on the air now, like he could say something if he wanted to?

Yeah.

Right, yeah, if you unmute him, he can talk.

He's not, I don't see him at all.

He's not in there, man.

He's on my number.

Oh, oh, he's using, oh, I see.

I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

I threw you at him in my account, dude.

I'm going to mute my phone now.

Hey, the dead, how you doing?

I think you're on.

This is a fucking fucking...

Yeah, it is.

What?

What is your problem?

The dead, I had no idea you were on, man.

How you doing, mister?

No, I'm not saying fucking fuck you.

Well, I'm sorry about that.

I don't know who mocked you.

I thought it was Ted, but that's okay.

He loves you.

You guys are great friends.

Remember he bailed you out of jail that one time?

I'm just messing with you.

They're just joking around, BD, man.

He doesn't understand.

Crazy prankers.

Don't take him seriously, man.

He gets mad.

He muted himself, I think.

I don't know.

We got a few people listening in TalkShoe tonight.

So, hey, thanks, TalkShoe, man.

We love you.

And for you listening to us in TalkShoe, not only...

Hey, man, thank God for TalkShoe, man.

All our friends over there, because they have been a lifesaver for me.

Saved your ass.

All right, I'm going to tell you now to behave yourself if you want to stay on the line.

So be good.

and he's doing his character pajama johnny his old character okay well that's fine but this is

you know remember our manners and we'll be okay everybody just be good be good you'll have to

wait for your your turn yeah wait wait for your turn now son wait for your turn um i'm just messy

with the dead man you're a good guy man we like you around here it's cool it's cool we haven't

heard from you in a while so it's good cd's cool man yeah i dr lego last night was actually really

for killing somebody tonight, man.

I just wanted to mention,

I heard a bit of Dr. Lego's show last night,

and I had a good time.

I laughed.

I listened to it up until the point

my laptop battery died,

and I fell asleep after I felt, you know,

I brought it to bed with me,

and I was listening to it,

listening to the show with Athena.

We were listening to Lego,

and it was a good show.

It had some Dominican guy on there

who was pretty interesting, too.

So whoever that Dominican guy was,

yeah, man, you know,

I usually, you know,

I'm Puerto Rican,

and we normally don't get along,

Dominicans and Puerto Ricans, usually.

but i give you respect yeah dominica has caused a lot of problems in puerto rico but we're not

getting oh well let's see that's a sign of god god is a dominican and he made thunder come down

hear that thunder it's almost like a black and white thing but with you know american society

which is it's like as strange as it is yeah that's true all right so anyway i was trying to get to

these uh numbers that we have here uh we have a japanese restaurant called samurais and it is in

in Englewood, Colorado.

Nunu, Nunu's number, what is this about, Milkman?

Can you tell everybody real quick because I haven't been able to analyze it.

Have you read it?

Yeah, what it is, he's got some crazy guy that's 50 years old,

and he, like, wears leather all the time,

and he has a record of what he's worn every day since 1987.

So he's like a cuckoo, one of these, like, you know,

one of these, like, nutjobs that keep track of all kinds of little details.

He likes to pre-cum a lot.

He's gay.

So this is, like, one that's a total nutjob.

So, it ought to be interesting since he's 70 years old.

Where did this come from?

He's 70 years old.

He only wears leather and has a record of what he wore for every day since 1987.

And he's gay.

And he wears leather and rubber.

Likes to pre-cum a lot.

Whatever that is, man.

Dude, I don't know, man.

He doesn't wear leather and rubber because it says Biloxi.

Leather rubbers.

Is there such a thing as a leather rubber?

Let's go ahead and call that now.

Jesus Christ.

I don't know where Nunu gets these guys.

So, what's his name?

You always come up with some good shit, man.

Milkman, you just whited out the whole fucking screen, you jerk.

His name's Harold Ivey.

He's in Biloxi, Mississippi.

Oh, I dropped my keyboard.

Yeah, you dropped your keyboard.

I dropped my keyboard.

I'm sorry.

I dropped you on your keyboard, son of a bitch.

Look what you did.

You made me have to dial again.

Son of a bitch.

Son of a bitch, motherfucker.

Oh, man, those gin calls, man.

What's the one where he gets cursed out by some gay guy?

Yeah, with Sam.

Son of a bitch.

That's Sam.

Oh, God, I miss gin.

Oh, shit.

I haven't heard from him in a few weeks.

I miss Jim.

Son of a bitch.

Oh, man.

Oh, that shit is funny.

I know you're out there working hard in the world, but I just want to tell you I miss you

and I love you, bro.

He doesn't care.

He's not listening.

I would love to talk to you again.

Jim Stewart doesn't care about us.

He got a real life now or something.

He moved to, like, some Soviet bloc country.

Hey, man.

He's like, yeah, he's like totally taking over ownership of another country now.

Whatever.

You go, Jim.

Yeah, you do that, Jim.

Anyway, so, hey, folks, if you want to send in your prank request now is the time.

Don't be shy.

And I am dialing that first number of the night just a moment.

Hey, Cully, you know what?

I have that number.

What number is that?

The Indian guy.

You got it?

You have Sam's number?

Yeah.

Oh, right on.

For deduction of a fee and charges,

I will send back your card and post it.

That's good.

Our card will show a New York number,

so he may answer.

What's the guy's name?

Harold L. Ivy.

Mr. Ivy, sir, I need your assistance here.

Can you do me a quick favor?

I need to find out what you were wearing on New Year's Eve in 1993.

You do?

Yes, please.

Please, it's very important.

Yes, December 31st, 1998.

I thought you said 93.

Oh, no, no, I'm sorry.

92.

I'm sorry.

It's going somewhere.

92, you know, going into 93, January 1st, 93.

Please look that up.

Can I just ask you?

This is Carlito Roberts, the Citizens Auxiliary Patrol.

If you can just look that up for me, please.

December 31st, 1992.

All right, please.

Well, why don't you give me a phone number, and I'll call you back with that information.

I'd rather not, seriously.

Seriously. I mean, you should have it there handy with you.

This is the moment you've been waiting for, sir.

At what point did you actually transfer what you had on paper to the computer?

Because you didn't always have it on the computer, sir.

So what you did... Here's my guess. Hey, shut up.

Here's my guess. 1998, you got a computer and transferred it all over.

2003? Okay, so you kept it from 1987 until 2003?

Paper records only? 1982.

1982 in 1982 you start okay you started 1982 and so you went 11 years tracking no you went 21 years

tracking everything you wore on paper so how did you do it like in uh in under was it or was it a

port what was it a legal binder just write down every day what you wore and after you got dressed

in the morning you do this or after you got dressed in the morning you write down what you

put on or what you plan to put on but tell me the routine how does it work first 90 92 let you

understand sir December 31st 1992 that's right New Year's Eve you actually right

you know I was naked today at a naked sometimes you were naked here is what

doesn't wear leather rubbers that's what I want to know was that about man okay

that is one strange individual no he's strange but the audio was really bad he

had a bad connection and to let him go I'm sorry if anybody enjoyed that he was

it was barely making like any spike in the and the sound so I had to cut him

him off that's pretty funny though he was flaming bad i was gonna go you could have a lot of fun

turning into another charlie over time uh heck yes heck yes heck yes uh gentlemen uh i say we

make it you know we can make it a an international night tonight if you guys want i'd be i'd be up for

that um i can as lonesome loser if he's got any i have a whole bank of international numbers here

from uh old uh old calls that we've done together man i really want to request at least one type of

international call a manchester international call please all right let's go ahead uh lonesome

let me see if he sent anything in manchester i don't think he has yet we've got all our local

numbers that one that we did to that lady at the pub was one of the funniest ones we've done

in ages man okay let me i don't know if you got it cued but maybe you can play it later for the

listeners the manchester pub i heard that today on the stream you should try yeah i heard that

today on the stream my friend that is a good call we could call him back that again back we

We didn't have much luck with that, and I think it was really expensive.

Ted was the one that paid for those.

Ted, did you get a bill for those yet, for those Iraq and Iran calls we tried to do that one time?

Oh, no, I was using Skype, so it just comes off my Skype balance right away.

It wasn't that bad.

That's a good deal, actually, man.

I've got to get that Skype stuff.

I've got to get some more bandwidth so I can do that without worrying about it.

Anyway, here's the call.

What's up, fun to know it?

Well, I get the number.

Bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop.

Hello?

We've got a prank call coming up in just a moment, folks.

Who are you?

The super from the building.

How are you?

From what building?

Your building.

Company.

Well, no, the point...

I just wanted to call and introduce myself, see how you're doing, let you know how I'm going to be running things.

But why would you be phoning us at this time of the morning?

It's not morning, it's evening over here in America still.

No, well, I'm sorry, but it's morning.

Well, it's an international transaction.

Don't speak over me, I'll fire you.

You understand?

It's too late.

I've already been fired, love, so you can't fire me.

Hey, you know what?

I don't know who the hell you think...

That's it, get out.

Well, you don't have to.

You're fired.

And don't try to take any of the beer, because I know you, I'm on to you.

I'm on to you.

You're full of shit.

You're fired.

How much is your last paycheck supposed to be?

You tell me.

I'm going to take away 10% for your attitude.

Why don't you go piss off because I don't know who you are.

What's that supposed to mean?

You're an asshole.

I'm your owner now.

I own you.

I buy you.

I don't care who the hell you are.

I have your contract.

You know what?

If you're the owner, you come down here now.

I can't now.

Come down here now.

America, remember?

It doesn't very much.

You must be drinking on the job.

Correct.

Are you drunk?

You see, that's why I'm firing you.

I've got so many complaints about you, I'm firing you.

I need to get these complaints off.

Mr. Johnson, Mr. Walker.

Who the hell is he?

He comes in here all the time.

He said that the other day you threw a bottle of beer at him and it hit him on the head.

I have no idea what you're saying, sweetheart.

All I know is you need to...

No, well, I haven't got a clue what you're...

Don't speak English.

You're just an absolute...

You're an idiot.

You're homeless and you're jobless.

You're...

Really?

Yes.

Okay, then get out of my...

Get out of my...

Minutes ago.

Get out now.

Come here and you get me out.

I told you I'm in another country.

Then you're full of shit, then, huh?

How much have you had to drink today on the job?

I'm going to take it out of your last paycheck.

Tell me.

Are you real?

That's right.

Yes, you're the woman who's...

Do you know what my name is?

Yes.

What the fuck?

Me Julie.

I don't give a clue.

What's the name of this?

It's your social security number.

It's the bull's head, but it's...

You haven't got...

Have you really?

I doubt it.

But I bought it.

Change the name.

Do you make a living out of doing this?

I'm changing...

Because we phoned here before.

Oh, really?

How do you know?

We phoned in the morning about three weeks.

You woke us up.

So you all just happen to be sleeping on the job now, huh?

Sleep on the job.

Jack Valente from America.

No, Bedeck.

What's a tatasa?

What's that?

What's that in kilograms?

You know, you think you're so fucking...

It's actually 10 to 11 p.m.

The Flying Machine, this is Savannah.

How can I help you?

Savannah, what's going on?

Who's this?

The sexy Savannah.

Look, is this the Flying Machine restaurant?

Yes, it is.

That's exactly what I'm talking about.

Who's the head chef over there?

Don't wash your hands after you go to the bathroom.

And I went in there, and it was such an overpowering smell.

Cleaner.

Cleaning solution.

I know that you people are masking something, aren't you?

Here, why don't you talk to a manager really fast?

Make it quick.

How you

doing there, big house?

Pardon me?

Hey, big house, how you doing, big house?

So, as I asked her before, trying to find the head chef is over there.

Okay.

Has he been with you?

Well, I'm calling on him for business.

Prefer to get the runaround and get passed around from woman to woman.

To speak to the head chef.

Very good.

Okay, thank you.

Anybody can call in Manchester.

She can't hear me on the phone right now.

Which is good.

If she's there, even.

How do you spell Manchester?

M-A-N-C-H-E-S-T-E-R.

Okay, we've got Graham Dyke.

We've got Wilfred Dyke.

We've got Graham Dyke as well, again.

Wilfred Dyke, again.

the Shakespeare Hotel.

We've got a Garth Hope in Manchester.

We have...

Yay, Katie Kay is here.

All right.

We've got Catherine Queen.

We've got the Britannia Country House Hotel.

I don't remember calling that one.

Where was that from?

Let's do this.

The Britannia...

Oh, God.

I don't know.

On Palestine Road.

And there's a Palestine Road in Manchester.

Wow.

All right.

Here we go, everybody.

This is the Britannia Country House...

Let me clear the line.

I've got to clear the line first.

There we go.

All right.

All right, we're going to call the Britannia Country House Hotel in Manchester, U.K.

Just a moment, folks, to hear with that.

That's probably why we didn't do it the first time around.

It's a bum number we've been having.

Let's just stick to numbers that we have confirmed now.

How's that sound?

Let's not try to overachieve.

We've got the Pecadores Escort Service.

Ooh, you know what Pecadores means?

That means sinner in Spanish.

The Pecadores Escort Service in Miami, Florida.

Miami, Florida, all right.

Yeah, hometown, baby.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right, let's call the Picador's escort service.

Just a moment.

It is bad for your health.

Every time I try to use the phone, I have to dial it like four times for the ghost in my head.

It doesn't want to clear the line.

I hang up the phone.

I wait five seconds.

I pick it up, and it goes right to call waiting.

Squirt woman, who's this?

Private phoned.

It's a private phoned?

Yes.

Okay, well, I'd like to make a donation to the private fund of $100.

Don't worry.

I want that for Mama B. Joe.

$9.35.

She's not having that.

Enter your destination.

Let's try calling her back.

Ay, ay, ay, puñeta bicholita.

Hey, clean.

12, 12 seconds.

Before deduction.

I like to clean.

That's my part right here.

This music right here makes me want to eat a bowl of collard greens.

Good shit, man.

Yeah, we can.

We'll get bacon grease.

Nothing makes you far better than collard greens, man.

Hello?

That's Morello.

We have a number just coming in now from Lunsden Luber.

Luber.

Lunsden Luber.

Manchester, England.

The Walkabout Inn in Manchester, England.

Yeah, it's pretty common to clean the lady names.

You understand.

We understand.

I got a headache, man.

I've had a headache for like three days.

Fuck.

Hey, Carlito.

Hey, Milkman.

Did you tell me a few minutes ago that you was talking to a reclute, man?

Reckless, he's listening.

He's taking a break from the studio.

He's listening now, and he said to let him know when we want him to call in.

He's going to be calling in here soon, I hope.

Oh, is he back now, or is he up in New York now?

No, he's back.

He's been back.

He was on the show two weeks ago.

We did like an hour straight with him on the line.

I wasn't in the mood to do a show, and I had him on, and he killed it for a while.

I didn't know if he got back from New York.

I know he was on there for a while.

Yeah, he went to New York and everything.

He had a good time and all that stuff.

He's listening, so he'll be joining us later.

Shortly, I hope.

We'll let him know.

We'll let you know.

Is the Dead still around?

Bruno Vega is the man.

I forgot about the Dead.

The Dead, are you still there?

Yeah.

The Dead.

Oh, okay, good.

Do you have computer problems?

How come the Dead's not online?

What's going on?

I'm on Stick Em right now.

Oh, you're on Stick Em.

All right, you're on Stick Em.

But you're also on Talk Show, so you can join the show.

Yeah.

That's cool.

Cool, man.

Cool.

Cool, all right.

Good to have you today.

So, Rita, could you do a request and have Pachama John, the TV's character, do a call sometime before the end of the show?

Do a what call?

I'm sorry?

BD does a character called Pachama John.

If you could have him do a call before the show.

Yeah, yeah, he'll have to call in, but for sure.

I haven't heard that character yet, most definitely.

Okay, we have a request here coming in from, let's see, I've sent these numbers before.

Maybe we can get to the, tonight, we've got a woman named Rowena who is a lesbian who likes to date married women.

That's right.

We got that last week and we didn't get to it.

So we'll have to check that out.

Zach is excited that the whole gang is in town.

He wants Ted to do a Bubba Johnson call later.

That'd be awesome.

Most definitely.

We would like to have a Bubba Johnson call here for sure.

How about Bubba Johnson has the KDK's Mexican cleaning lady?

Yeah.

With the same, with which accent though?

With the black accent or a mix of the two?

No, no.

I was saying that Bubba could be calling to get a new Mexican cleaning lady.

Okay.

I see.

I see. Comprendo, amigo. Comprendo. Okay. We need to do a prank. We're going to call

the walkabout in next. So, stand by, everybody. The next prank call to Manchester, England

is coming up right now. Right now. Right now.

Do you think Molly Maid is open right now?

Prank call right now. What was that, Ted? What was your comment?

Oh, the thing we could call Molly Maid.

Never heard of it. Well, we can call her. Give me a number.

It smells like cat pee. Why does that? Why? Why?

Hey, buddy, we got a problem with the smell here.

Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen to this.

See that? You hear that? It's disgusting.

Smell here. Listen, listen to it, listen to it.

Cat urine almost. Do people smoke in these rooms?

Listen, listen to it, listen to it.

That's horrible. You understand where I'm coming from. You can hear it, right?

Listen, listen, listen.

Shit, man. It's almost like a urea smell, you know, like a pH than feces does.

Like an ammonia type of smell, you know?

Does this happen a lot here?

Mmm, yummer.

All right, let's look, look.

Can you get someone over here with a...

Do you guys have, um, trees in this country?

You know what I'm talking about.

2-15.

1-15, sir.

Got you there, didn't I?

Listen, listen to it.

Listen.

Don't say, oh, you can't do this, eh?

But that's so.

You get that going back to 1982.

You know why?

Because I'm an American.

A good American keeps all his records for the last 25 years, sir.

1982.

I have my record.

I've got everything I've done, everything I've worn, everything I've bought.

I've got all my receipts.

You know why?

Because I pay taxes right.

Honestly.

Honest person.

Now what?

Let's not get into the debate over you British people and taxes.

Because we kicked your ass the last time, didn't we?

Admit it.

And why?

Pakistani?

Australia.

What do you do?

Traveling and answering the phone.

You just happen to be traveling in your travels and your holidays, you people call it.

Oh, let me just pick up the phone here and answer like I work here.

Huh?

Is that how it is?

Sir, you're lying to me.

You're from New Zealand, aren't you?

I can smell it on the phone.

Look, that's New Zealand right there.

That's New South Wales.

I smell it on you.

Say something into the phone real quick.

Say it again.

You say onion.

Say barbecue.

That's funny.

Do you ever drink piss?

You see, this explains a lot.

The smell in here.

Look.

Oh, yeah, you're a piss drinker, aren't you?

The showers, huh?

I see a little.

Let you go.

I won't give you any more of a hard time, but this smells disgusting here.

Then get someone here to room 214 with the biggest industrial-sized bottle of Febreze you have.

I think we'll be okay.

Burning.

Burn some incense here, at least.

Have a rule against burning stuff.

We were smoking inside the room.

Got you on tape saying it was okay.

See?

That is you right there, son of a bitch.

Look.

Say what I just said.

Nice young man.

Very well-behaved gentleman like I was.

well all right you guys are back interesting conversation we just had there with a british

gentleman i noticed you from ebony man when he was mentioned the cat pee aroma he was a little

turned on yeah i don't know where it was going with the smell excited there i think he wanted

some of your empanada yeah deathlock was saying i should he's got a point i should have told them

to say chela's wheels that would have been good oh man that was a good call okay anyway i think

He kept me from falling asleep.

Yeah, I think he did.

Coming up next, I think it was a welcome excitement to his boring day.

I can't be excited to be working in London in a hotel at, what, 4 o'clock in the morning their time, I think it is right now?

4.15 or something? 5.15 maybe?

Yeah, he's somewhere in the UK. It would be 6.15, isn't it?

6.15. Yeah, but they're starting their day, so he's probably finishing up the night shift or just coming in.

He probably made his day.

That's cool. It's his Friday. All right, Messi.

We love Fridays here, man.

That's awesome.

That is awesome.

All right, we got the Rovers bar and end.

This one is in Salford, England.

I never heard of the Salford.

Hey, whatever happened with that Nunu, if you can report,

let us know whatever happened with that flood, the Great British Flood of 2007.

I heard that nothing happened.

Let us know.

Give us a report.

I hope you're okay.

We're going to call the Rovers bar and end.

Coming up next.

I heard he was on the breaststroke instead of the American crawl.

Oh, shit.

Shit there, buddy.

Shit there.

Okay, everybody, just one moment.

when here comes the next prank call of the night everybody the rovers bar and in south

be sure to visit madhouse live.com or return to that song just to call this you guys have

worse i say your spaces it's like 15 or something i don't know i just flew in i need a space

is this an inner bar or both this is that woman again girl you have that went nowhere

what was in it i told you i was gonna fail it's all because i had a negative nancy attitude about

Got it, but that's what happened.

I'm a through-fire.

Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed that over there, kid.

What was the name of that in Manchester, that pub?

What was it called?

Let me see if I can find that now.

Hog's Head or some kind of thing like that.

No, it was the Bull's Head.

It was a Bull's Head.

I'm looking for it here.

Garth Hope.

Yeah, something like it.

Hog's Head or Bull's Head.

Let's see.

I got a Tesco in Manchester.

Brian Cox.

C.S. Poon.

Lone Star Kick-Ass.

That's in Manchester, Texas.

Lai Fung Ho, Wilford Dyke, Yuk Ho.

There's a lot of Asians in Manchester, huh?

Why isn't there?

I see a lot of people, but...

Oh, there it is.

The Bull's Head.

Here we go.

We found it, everybody.

All right.

Yeah.

Silver tuna tonight, everybody.

Silver donut, whatever it was.

We're calling back.

The prank call we were playing earlier.

This is the Bull's Head Pub in Manchester, England.

Be sure to visit them at...

The Bulls Head Pub at manchesterengland.com, everybody.

Be sure to go there and check it out.

We'll be right back with the next prank call of the night in just a moment.

This is a repeat.

This is a look back with the Bulls Head Pub.

Just a moment, everybody.

Daddy, we're in that song.

Godzilla movie.

Godzilla.

No, it's just called now.

Godzilla in name only.

Godzilla night.

Close up.

98, man.

American version.

Fucked.

It's imposterous.

You can play the rest of that real quick.

I wonder why they didn't want to answer on a Thursday or a Friday.

When did I stop that?

I stopped it right when she started calling me a tosser, right?

When she got mad that it was 10 to 4 in the morning.

Let me see if I can find it.

Then she put on her sani, too.

There we go.

You tosser.

Tosser?

Punch you off.

What's that?

11 p.m.

Keep your ass in the American Revolution.

Greatest country in the world.

Anyway, the next call is coming right up.

That was good.

They were so pleased.

I want to thank Lonesome Loser.

He was right on top of that.

He confirmed that.

He tried to confirm it right as we were talking about it.

Lonesome Loser is the man.

Lonesome Loser gets a gold star for the night.

All right, everybody, let's clap for Lonesome Loser.

He's never gotten a gold star here yet.

Anyway, we're going to...

The next prank call tonight is coming right up.

This is the Stay In.

Stay In in Manchester.

Another Manchester call coming at you.

98.6 to mouth.

You can run all the time.

They didn't let me talk at all to them.

Bastards.

Cop parked outside in front of my house.

There was a cop outside of my house, dude.

What's going on over here?

Hang on, everybody.

I've got to check to see if the police are about to bust up in the manhouse.

Manchester people have...

Cobra is outside.

All our British listeners will understand what I'm talking about.

But I know cops.

That's a Mercury, he ain't a cop.

No cops drive Mercurys in Florida.

In Orlando, that's it.

All right, everybody.

We are continuing on.

Excuse me, with more show.

Warrior, I see, has sent in a...

Yeah, you sent in a number for an escort service, huh?

Escort service in London?

Interesting.

We might have to give that a call here.

Let's see.

Tuck, you sent in a number also, Tuck, for the Indian guy.

See, thank you very much for sending in.

That's the number one Sam's business number.

Jen's Indian guy.

It's in Chicago.

All right.

Number one.

Cool, cool.

It's old.

I don't know if it'll work, and it'll probably not work at night.

It'll probably work in business hours.

Yeah, because Jen did his calls in the afternoons and stuff like that sometimes.

I remember that now.

He did Sunday lunch.

So that would have been Sunday afternoons he was doing calls.

Let me see if I can find that here.

Let's see.

Jim Stewart.

Let me see if I've got that call here.

Yeah, that is one of the great ones.

Yeah.

It says the way he had his...

He had a whole series of them.

Like two or three of them were just like conglomerations of famous, famous calls to Sam Yu.

Yeah, but the orgy calls, man.

I heard that once and I about died.

I mean, he kept calling around the same place.

oh man

he's got German pranks up here too

I'm looking for that from Jen

he barely has any

pranks up right now on his site

I think it's gone

I think it's on the PCU site

on the old KDK prank site

I think it might be up still

I see Carlita and friends, Jack and Jen

that's all I see here

Milkman you're not muted man, we're talking to you

you're audible, don't worry about it man, it's cool

there's no more echo Milkman

man. Don't worry about it.

Alright. I think

Jin took away most of his

pranks. Unless... Oh, he's got

them, like, in... I see.

Jin...

His site is set up like... He only puts, like,

one, two, three, four, five up at a time.

Let me see. Let me see if we can find this one here.

Bubba's Palace? No, that's not it.

I'll have to keep looking for it. Or if one of you

out there has it, you know, send me a direct link to it

or something. If you guys can, Tad or

Tuck or someone like that, send that to me

directly or something like that. I don't know. Whatever.

We're going to call Sam anyway.

This is Sam.

I have all of his pranks on disc archived.

It's not that important.

We won't steal his thunder.

It's all good.

I think I have copies of all of his pranks.

All of his pranks.

Wow.

That's dedication.

That's big time dedication right there.

Have you guys ever heard of those Ventrilo pranks

that have been going around?

Is that old news?

is that you know is there any point in playing any of those warrior played one that was really

funny i've heard a lot of them i heard but i heard them like last uh like 10 days ago i heard them

all in one night i found them and i was going to play them last week on the show but i thought to

myself i think i think this has been around already like i think people have already heard

this i didn't i didn't bother playing i thought it was big you know what i mean like i thought it

was you know old news but is it you guys would know you guys have to pull something or those

ventrilo harassment had they been around the the internet for a while now or those like a

a relatively new thing.

No answer.

Great.

Alright.

Warrior knows about it.

Warrior knows.

He's not talking.

Hey, Warrior,

can you play that one

that you played for us earlier?

I got it right here.

Let's listen to this.

Oh, cool.

It's one of those

stop me if you've heard it before.

Let me know if you've heard it before

or I'll stop playing it.

Excuse me?

Who the heck is this?

I've got balls of steel.

Balls of steel?

What is that?

Hello?

It's time to kick ass

and chew bubble gum.

And I'm all out of gum.

Okay, get off the show.

Get off vent or I'll have you bent eat shit and die. I've got balls of steel

That's uh interesting

You have just been banned from the bank server blow it out your ass

Somebody's playing a joke on someone again

You think that's fucking funny do you fucking think I'm fucking laughing I've got balls of steel

I've got balls of steel.

Are you going to stay here or are you going to leave?

I've got balls of steel.

Okay, that's nice.

Balls of steel.

Steel.

Balls of steel.

There has to be somebody from the guild or somebody that we know.

Oh, I hope not because I don't think your mother's very happy about it.

I don't think so either.

I want every person, name written down, who's on the guild right now.

I've got balls of steel.

I've got balls of steel

I'll rip your head off

And shit down your neck

This is his mother

On ventral flow

Oh mother you fucking freak

I swear to fucking god when I find you

I'm gonna rip your fucking head off

And I'll be your goddamn dick alright

Blow it out your ass

I've got balls of steel

I'm gonna beat the shit out of your fucking mother

That gave birth to you

you fucking cocksucking motherfucker.

You just watch when I find your goddamn ass.

I'm gonna rip your fucking balls

and rhyme them down your goddamn throat

and make you a new fucking box.

Do you fucking understand me?

Get the fuck off my goddamn vent,

you piece of shit.

I'm gonna make you a faggot

when I find your goddamn ass

and I'll rhyme my fucking fist up your ass

with all my die-drains.

Balls, balls, balls, balls, balls, balls, balls, balls.

What'd you call me?

Balls of steel.

It only does it when you talk.

Balls, balls, balls, balls.

I'm serious about that.

I'm gonna get you.

Blow it out your ass.

See, it's only when you talk.

So you sure you don't want to switch channels?

No, I'm finding the Zara.

We're going to cut off the vents,

and it's only going to be given to certain people after this.

It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum.

That one guy sounds like venison.

And you are a lot of cum also, so...

Balls of steel.

So really, if this is you, I promise you...

Balls, balls, balls, balls, balls, balls, balls, balls, balls, balls, balls, balls, balls, balls, balls, balls, balls.

I'll be right back.

Well, who is that bitch?

Did you see what they wrote on vent?

They did?

In parentheses, who is that bitch?

Oh, snap.

Oh, God.

That's bad messed up.

That's somebody who knows my mom's vent.

It has to be.

Oh, the spy, though.

Remember, she thinks somebody's spying on her.

Yeah, it has to be a spy from her guild that she's in right now.

But come on, that's hilarious.

You don't think that's hilarious?

You know, honestly, I did until she started screaming.

I'm

I'm reporting this right now, so everyone off-vent now,

and I want to list the names of everyone that's on Lord of the Rings right now.

and um balls of steel balls of steel knock off i've got balls of steel ninja was on this and

then he left i went on to um the other place and i blow it out your ass type it in no uh

officer's chat blow it out your ass everyone is blowing out your ass it's okay just get on

officer chat congratulations i just found out who you are see you i've got balls of steel

steel. What do you want? Blow it out your ass. You're dead. I've got balls of steel.

What the, you fucking bastard. What a bitch. You shit and die. No, I'm gonna fucking kill

you, motherfucker, old style. You fucking watch, you prick. Fuck you. Blow it out your

ass, or rip your head off. He's gonna have a damn aneurysm. Blow it out your ass. I've

I've got balls of steel.

Hello?

Blow it out your ass.

Oh, my God, no.

Pointer?

He's starting again.

I've got chills again.

Write his name down again.

I've got balls of steel.

I've got chills.

Oh, my God.

What a stupid bitch.

She's not smart.

There's a follow-up.

I heard these all.

I'm scared now.

I heard a bunch of them, and that one right there was one of those ones.

Oh, my God.

I've got the chills again.

It's like, God, lady, just chill out.

Wow, she's like some weird mom who plays Lord of the Rings with her son and his friends.

And I guess she paid for a vent server, and this guy went on there and started harassing her.

This guy here, this cat, he's been doing a lot of these.

That's the only one I would play in the show, because for the most part, the rest of them are really loud.

Not the mill, for sure, man.

No, I don't know.

Balls of steel.

The second day, here's day two.

This is four minutes, though.

I'll play it later.

We'll play the second part of that, which is funny.

It's a lot of back and forth.

Yeah, the guy actually talks in his own voice.

So there it is.

Nunu says that there was almost no flood.

It came right up to the top of the flood defenses,

but not quite as high as they thought it would,

though it did flood Germany instead.

All right.

Yes, man.

Good.

Take that, Germans.

We kicked your ass again.

That's three times.

Fuck you, Germany.

That's right.

We'll be right back with the next prank call of the night, everybody.

This one here is coming from Mr. Lonesome Loser himself.

This is Beryl Pole, Calcutta on the Sea, England, whatever that is.

Back in a moment.

That was a particular moment.

I like the beat.

It's like being in mama's womb, you know.

It's like boom, boom, boom.

Yeah, it's got to be like that.

Rhymes with the womb.

I'm really close to my mom.

And they start with the rock.

Really?

Why does the dad keep saying Dr. Legos suicides?

Ah, shit.

Anyway.

So, yeah, Zev to Zev.

He's the person who sent the call from last week.

He sent in the information for last week's call.

It was four.

Who was it for?

Yeah, the one, the KGN dude that we did.

We're going to play that later here in the break.

Coming up with a break.

It's actually time for the break now, technically, everybody.

All right, so be tuned for the break.

He sent in a new number here for another guy, calling himself L6Bajaco9, which means the horny 69, basically.

He gave his number in a porno webcam chat room to a cam girl named Sexy Lady.

It's a Puerto Rico number.

Milkman, did we get minutes to Puerto Rico, man?

Tell me we get minutes to Puerto Rico.

Oh, hell yeah.

Who called it 69.99 cents left?

Yeah.

Cool.

All right, man.

Well, let's do it then.

I'm not going to play that old prank call.

Let's play this one.

Let's do this one first, rather.

We're going to call some guy who gave out a number in a porno webcam chat room.

He's a Puerto Rican guy.

This should be fun.

So be prepared, everybody.

Be prepared for fun.

Who says I lost the juice?

Who says it?

One moment for the next prank, everybody.

Break's coming up after this.

11.39 p.m. Eastern Standard Time, Thursday, November 15th, Madhouse Radio.

Here we are.

That brings back memories.

Memories of my first girlfriend.

You got the original Pasquale call, man.

That's still one of my all-time favorites.

Which one is it?

Which one now?

The original Pasquale call.

Yeah, it is.

Man, that's an old call, man.

That's on the rotation.

You got to go to madhouselive.com to hear that, everybody.

Hear what Milkman's talking about.

All right, everybody.

We're having a good show here.

This is Madhouse Radio.

As I said, we're about to take a break here.

Don't call this number again, man.

I have to thank everybody who's listening.

Milkman is very excited.

Don't you never call this fucking number again.

Don't you, man.

You son of a bitch, you motherfucker.

you motherfucker, you son of a bitch, oh fuck, I gotta play it now, you bastards, fine, twisted my

arm, it's only 33 seconds long, I can play it, here we go, where is Pasquale, this is the first

prank call ever done, ever attempted on this show, originally over two years ago, and as I said

before, it's a testament to what this show has become, the first attempt, and not even a bum

number the first time around, we got this number right off the bat, awesome stuff, this is where

Flores Pasquale, available, as I said, at madhouselive.com and the Prank Archives.

I'll beat you, mother fucker.

I'm going to speak in Spanish.

Look at you.

You bitch.

Don't never be this funny, man.

Mow my lawn.

And that was that.

Fuck you, man.

As I was saying, we are taking a break.

It is Madhouse Radio.

Yeah.

Everything is here, everybody.

Everything is here.

The best prank call internet radio show in the history of man is here.

The best show of its kind ever created is here right now.

The one and only, the uninspired Madhouse Radio is here, everybody.

Still in charge, still calling the shots, still entertaining the people,

still respecting the fans here tonight, everybody.

Madhouse Radio.

That's right.

When we come back, we've got more calls to do.

We've got Cecil Dand.

We've got Ronald Pohl.

We've got Big Daddy's Barbecue, California Grills Nightclub.

We'll be taking your calls.

The toll-free line will be open after the break.

Again, that toll-free line is 1-888-278-8509.

The toll-free lines will be opened up.

I know the dead wants to call in.

A reclude wants to check in also.

I'm sure Ted might want to join in and do some prank calls with us as well.

Everybody's welcome.

Everyone is invited for the second half of Madhouse Radio.

You know how we do it here.

We do it in the name of Jesus.

When we come back, as I said, more prank calls, your calls, everything like that.

We'll be right back in about five minutes.

Be sure to go to syndicateradio.tv, madhouselive.com.

Thank you.

Two dogs all late.

Testify.

Up in the spot looking extra fly.

For the day I die.

I'm a terrible night out.

You were the first out of the family.

That's how many 40,000 people are coming here.

Out of here.

House.

No, you know I haven't known you in a whole section.

Yes, I am.

You're going to like it.

Be sure to visit us online at madhouselive.com.

I forgot I'm supposed to turn on the mic.

And the dad already calling in.

Lens weren't open for more than five seconds.

Hey, man, what happened to Jonathan, man?

Whatever happened to Jonathan, dude?

Anyway, Madhouse Radio's...

Dude, I don't know, man.

He just kind of like fell away.

Hey, Carlito!

Madhouse Radio is back, everybody.

Madhouse Radio here.

Ted, Carlito, Milkman, The Warrior, Tuck, Baz, everybody's here.

I am bisexual.

I'm totally...

Reclute is joining in.

Reclute, what's up, man?

What's going on, Reck?

Not much, man.

Doing the show.

You know how it is.

We're talking about the Dateline.

Yeah, you heard that shit.

daylight dude yeah i'm lucky you walked out of the studio this summer a young bro you did not

man what are you a prank master now what's going on with you nah she's fucking i mean you know

she's like still but this 17 year old intern running around over there man okay let me know

i don't anymore trust me yeah because uh yeah that dude i was i was looking back over the summer and

god damn it dude i was wild dude fucking all sorts of drugs got interned i got some i got a hot

Yeah, that's cool to get an intern, so how do you get an intern per se?

Like, do you go to the university or the college?

Oh, fuck no.

Here's what happens.

People call me all the time.

Dudes will just hang up on me, because I didn't, I mean, what the fuck am I going to do with a dude all day?

F that shit.

I mean, people think it's sexist.

I'm like, look, get where I'm at, right?

I have yet to work.

What's my life?

Can't I be around?

Why do I have to hire some annoying douchebag guy?

It's, ooh, what do you do?

What does this man do?

Ooh, you know, fuck that.

Yeah, fuck that shit, dude.

Yeah, if you're going to be stuck there at work, you might as well have a hot broad and get in your coffee for you and all that.

Oh, yeah, exactly.

That broad, yeah, that fucking broad.

I pissed the fucker's self, but who cares?

This is fun.

Good times.

We did some good times.

She got college credit, too, for it.

It's all good, man.

No, she didn't.

She didn't care.

She got, uh, nothing either.

Oh, good.

I sit there, and we were feeding each other fucking.

That's weird, man.

No, we're sitting there, right?

You ever, you know what I'm saying?

Like, you get your mouth numb, right?

So we're sitting there.

Oh, my God.

And I looked at her.

I said, your mouth.

She's like, all right.

So I probably just start fucking.

And I was like, yeah, now do me.

So then she started doing it right.

And we kept on going back and forth.

It was just our gums.

I don't know.

So we kept on doing that.

It was like a theme for the week.

For the whole week you did this?

I was like, before I went to Memphis, I was fucking trying to stay up and shit.

So you got your lips and gums numb on yay.

Numb on yay.

And then you would finger each other's mouths using plastic bags as condoms.

No, no, no.

I was just putting my finger in a plastic bag to get that, get the yay.

Oh, okay.

I thought you were talking about something else there.

It sounded kind of weird for a second there, but still.

No, no, but I'll tell you what.

She had a fucking purty mouth, I'll say that.

A purty mouth, right.

Yeah, dude, it was like, fuck.

I felt, after I did that, I was like, aw, God.

I was like, we came to the conclusion we're going to go to a music park on Ecstasy.

One day, and I thought about it, I'm like, dude.

That's too much at that point.

Yeah, I was like, I mean, you get to that point.

Her fucking sister, I tried to date her one sister, and it was all, now they all hate

me, but I don't give a shit.

Tavern in Australia also here.

Huh.

Where's that at?

I mean, I know where Australia is.

What city?

Queensland, Australia is the tavern.

Queensland is a bunch of fucking hillbillies.

Right, I think so.

And then the cafe is in Perth.

Roy Blow in Benfleet, England.

And we've got Ann Blow in Stanford-le-Hope, England here.

Where?

Yeah, Stanford-le-Hope.

It's like a French-sounding name in England for some reason.

That makes no sense to me, but...

Oh, fuck yeah.

Let's call the angle.

I mean, I don't know.

I'll just...

We'll do Ann.

This is Anne Blow, okay?

It's A-N-N-E-F.

I'm going to take this hat off.

Anne Blow.

You always get that fucking hat on?

Yeah, I always put it on at the start of the show, and then my head gets all hot and stuff

because I'm a big fat ass with high blood pressure, and I always end up taking it off around this time.

Around midnight, I'm like, oh, fuck this shit, man.

Fuck the looks.

I need a haircut, man.

And then I turn around, and right now, I got a bald spot, dude.

I'm starting to get bald, like, right over here, right in the...

It's so bad.

I look like a monk.

So bad, man.

I'm telling you, man.

Get a fucking intern.

Make you feel 10 years younger.

That's going to make my hair grow right back.

I can't wait for that.

It doesn't matter at that point.

You'd be like, what the fuck?

Who fucking cares?

I thought I was kind of gaining some fucking chub right there.

And then my interns, I'm like, why don't you give me an emo makeover so I can bang you?

An emo makeover?

Yeah, because she likes these fucking emo.

I fucking hate emo bullshit.

Wow.

I just thought it was funny.

I was like, yeah, make me an emo and you and your friends.

Were you wearing black makeup and stuff?

No, I ain't fucking.

I don't know what the hell they're going to do.

I ain't slipped my wrist or wearing makeup.

Good.

You're going to start cutting yourself pretty soon here to release your pain.

Stuff like that.

Fuck that shit.

All emo and shit.

No, fuck that shit.

Anybody out there, I'll tell you what.

Public service announcement real quick.

Yes.

Anybody out there that fucking thinks like that Sean Kingston song about committing to

side overseeing, you need to do it.

Okay.

Go to your geekling, fucking do it.

Just do it and get it over with.

Be a man.

Exactly.

Be a man.

Like it's a game to get attention.

If you're going to do it, you're going to talk about doing it.

Just set a man up.

Man up or don't talk about it anymore.

Just don't keep bringing it up all the time.

Step up.

Bring your A-game if you're going to threaten suicide.

Bring your A-game to that bitch.

Exactly, man.

Just do it.

Just fucking do it.

And most of the motherfuckers, they fail at it.

How can you fucking fail at that?

That's sad if you can't even kill yourself.

I don't know.

We're dwelling too much.

This is a close subject.

Milkman tried to commit suicide twice by jumping off a coconut tree or something like that,

I think he said.

Oh, that fucking sucks.

That crazy fucker.

Well, I understand that.

It's untypical.

It's different.

Yeah.

Yeah. He's got a lot of child support bills, though, man.

Oakman's got all those Jamaican girls pregnant in the Virgin Islands.

I'll tell you what, though. Fucking blick broads.

Yeah.

All right, yeah. What's that?

I'll tell you what. We should do, like, a good...

Is it, like, morning over there, so we'll fucking wake them up?

It's 7 a.m. over there, I believe.

Who cares? Fuck it.

Let's blow them up, just wake them up. I'll give them a good old...

Yeah, there we go. And blow.

Coming up at you next, reclude on the line.

One moment, everybody.

at my fingertips i'll ever take the audience shall you uh vacuum cleaner a nice one picks

up everything cleans profits upholstery is kitten sauce bam yeah put towel cashmere dresses

cashmere slips right on slips right off clubs you know what i mean down guinness

just a little bit orange flavor in there low english tea we're gonna give you sorry you're

talking so quick i can't hear you what you're saying well i'm just trying to sell you something

and save you some time, ma'am.

You know what I'm saying?

More words are better.

Okay, what side of the street you on?

North or south?

What side of the street?

Hey, we're having a special today.

We're going to give you, we got vacuum cleaners.

We got big, large, tall, and small.

We've also got tea and crumpets.

We've got a couple of courtesans, nice things.

I don't know if you're on the path,

but this time of the morning, you've just woke me up.

Well, listen, it's a good wake-up call.

It's bright and early.

You see the sun shining out there?

You're lucky.

Fucking U of K.

She actually told you all, North.

She actually told you.

She actually thought about it for like a second.

North.

She actually fell for it.

She ran along with it.

They're so polite over there, man.

I know, dude.

It's like, yeah, let's call some more.

I love them here, but I don't know what it is about them Austrians.

They're a bunch of fucking girls.

Well, that was British, actually.

It was 5 a.m. there.

Good.

Let's fucking wake up the whole goddamn continent.

All right, let's call Roy Blow.

Roy Blow.

Roy Blow in Benfleet, England.

Okay.

Excuse me.

Coming up right now, everybody.

Big sale.

Special message.

My deal's for you this morning.

How you doing there?

You had your tea and clumpers yet?

We're going to deliver those straight to your house.

You've won a million dollars, a million pounds, a million liras.

How you doing today?

It's a little romp with a lady friend.

What's going on?

I can tell she's a beautiful bird just by listening to her voice.

I'm a voice analyzer.

Hello?

You're a voice analyzer.

You have.

You know how I use that spoof card stuff online, right?

You know, I get the cards.

Oh, dude, I've been fucking with that, yeah.

You got one?

Did you get one?

Yeah.

Did you know that they have a new product that came out the other day?

It's called Liar Card by the same company.

No.

It looked like a joke.

It analyzes the person you're talking to, their heartbeat,

and it'll let you know if they're lying to you while you're talking to them on the phone.

What?

Yeah, LiarCard.com.

I saw it, and I said, this has to be a joke.

It says, like, it plays a heartbeat.

Like, it tells you what their heart rate is.

if when they can't hear

but you can

when you're talking to them

and they'll start a buzzing noise

if it detects

that they're lying

that they're not being truthful

does it play on the phone?

yeah

it plays on the phone

like they can't hear

but it tells you like

it tells you like

it'll start going

if they're

I guess if they're lying

if it detects

that they're being dishonest

like if their heart rate

goes up or something

it'll tell you like

if they're lying

it's really wicked

it's hilarious

so it buzzes right in the phone

they can hear it

and you just fuck

they gotta do some

We've got to do some, like, W.C. Fields, Jack Burns.

Yeah, something weird.

Like, interrogation.

Yeah, I remembered I was going to talk about that.

I went to recharge my minutes, and at the bottom it says liar card available now.

And I clicked on it, and it's like, yo, I'm trying to find it now, see if I can find it.

Yeah, here it is.

The latest in spy technology is what it says.

Spy technology.

Yeah, from the creators of Spookard.

It's at liarcard.com.

And it shows, like, you can play the call back on the Internet, on the website,

and it gives you, like, a little graphic that shows you when they were lying and stuff.

It's really weird, yeah.

Those guys are fucking geniuses.

Yeah, I don't know how accurate.

I think that's, like, a joke thing, but.

It's still funny.

You can call somebody up and start busting their balls, though.

I mean, you can call them, like, well, I think you're lying, sir.

Yeah, you can now have a competitive edge to negotiate a sweeter deal,

hire better personnel, choose a more reliable supplier.

Huh.

During your conversation, the voice of the person

you called is analyzed

in real time, during which a heartbeat

pulse is played in the background, which only

you will hear. A buzz is also

played when the called party is suspected

of not telling the truth, or is

in an extreme state of mind.

What the fuck is an extreme state of mind?

If they're high?

I don't know.

After the call, you can log in to replay the call,

view the graphs, and read the analysis

of the call. That's wicked, man.

That's fucking, I'll tell you what, those guys are onto something, those motherfuckers

are onto like a gold, how about they invest in everything they fucking do.

I know, when they go public, I'm there man, because they're like the cutting edge

of this shit man.

It's like prank call or Evan.

Yeah, oh so you know the spoof card stuff is insane because you can like, it records

it for you and then you just click and download it right on the website when you're done,

it's great.

Yeah, I love that, we actually, I got two people fighting because of that fucking spoof

card.

Because you can change the ID.

Yeah man.

Oh, it was so great. We called one broad and told her, fucking, this fucking broad, he goes to the club, she's like 35, we told her, yeah, we're gonna fucking, uh, the county child services, your thumb dumpster, whatever.

Oh, shit.

Right after, I called the guy that we called, he kind of, like, called both people with the ID, you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah.

Like, vice versa.

You call one with the other, yeah.

I called the guy, like, yeah, you fucking call the man, and I knew his address, and he's yelling at me.

Oh, shit.

That's funny.

You just wish you could hear that call that you didn't, you know, that you didn't do, you know, the one where they called each other.

I just wish you could hear that call.

That's funny, dude.

That's the thing.

But luckily, they were at a club, and people were telling me what was going on.

Oh, okay, cool.

So it was...

Cool.

Yeah, let's fucking...

Let's go some more.

Sunny morning.

Yeah, I got Raj.

This is...

I guess this is a restaurant.

It's called Raj on Taj.

R-A-J on T-A-J.

I guess it's like some kind of haji restaurant kind of thing.

Oh, God.

All right, here we go.

It's in Hyde Park.

Hyde Park.

Good luck.

Let's try this.

Let me play a song.

Here we go.

Ah.

Yeah.

Taj?

Yeah.

Hello, how are you, my swinger buddy?

Hey, what do you got?

Yeah.

Another little bit?

You're kind of attitude.

Go place you ever ridden on a...

I'll be down there in about half...

Fucking night, I got...

Oh, yeah.

What's your name again, honey?

Looks like I called the right...

You don't have none of that?

Well, tell me about the meats.

What kind of meats you got there?

Okay, what's your...

Just like the chicken, you don't like that...

Oh, you don't eat that.

That's right.

I mean, some people...

It ain't for some people, you know?

To some more serious questions,

what kind of drinks you got over there?

We've got all the white ones, the red ones, and the beers.

Cool.

You're top or a bop?

Dishing at 12 and then going home.

Why don't you, hey, let's make it a night.

You know what I'm saying?

we get acquainted drink you know what i mean we just i'll give you an assignment i'll give you an

assignment i assign you to come with me tonight guys like you you know i'm sick what day i'd like

to keep going buddy the question was oh no they come on baby what go out with me tonight come on

oh you finish that i have to have good numb i got marks i got dork marks you know but i just i

don't need some parliament you know that night on the test we can wait on this two weeks couple

In the december we can do it

Oh wow damn you got a phone

You don't have no phone or what about us huh?

Not much of a phone

Oh that's it come on now you're just fooling me

I'll tell you what we'll call back to the US you know what I'm saying

Don't worry about that when we wait till late

Well I think I'm going to let you go now

Let you get back to work doing that hard work

So done

Hey up there Don Veer I call you

I call you at the end of December man

We go out we're going to have some fun together

You know what I mean

Heterosexual. I'm thoughtless.

I was into it, man. You heard what I mean?

I was like, I would, but I gotta study.

Listen, forwarders are all about studying.

Oh, man.

You stupid ass.

I never went to...

As I got, like, finals coming up and stuff, I'm, like, studying my ass off all stressed out.

And I'll be doing that for the next year and a half, probably.

You?

Yeah, probably. Probably, man.

Oh, that fucking blows.

It's gonna be fucking worth it. I'm gonna be pissed off I get a degree and I can't find a fucking job. I'll be so pissed.

Oh, no. Here's the secret, right?

Yeah.

It's just about confidence.

You go into some place, and if you've got to lie a little bit on your fucking application, do it.

Just have people back you.

I'll tell you what.

Foolproof plan.

You have a couple friends, the older and the people of a position they have.

I just, I went into one job where I lived, places, worked.

I had fucking people checking out like I have.

Oh, yeah, he was a manager here.

He was great.

You know what I'm saying?

I'm saying, dude, I got one of the best jobs.

You just get the people to vouch for you when they call in.

Oh, yeah.

That's funny.

Fucking have them call me.

I'd be like, yeah, he worked at this studio.

Oh, my God.

He was, like, the fucking best, most dedicated.

But then he fell in love, you know?

He just, you got to follow your heart.

Yeah, you got to follow your college.

What the hell?

Yeah, he had a studio or something.

I mean, that's a nice job, man.

It is.

It's hard as fuck sometimes.

I'm going to tell you what.

Being in close quarters with a fucking cocksucker.

No busy bum.

That's it.

You can say I work with busy bum.

Yeah, I mean, that's definitely cool.

I want to work with somebody.

Sure.

I'm really happy with that.

That fucking guy scared the shit out of me.

Yeah, he gets so weird.

I was listening to that episode the other day.

It's the weird, like, he bowed when he shook your hand when I was leaving, and, like, he bowed, and he held it.

Go on YouTube and watch his videos.

Yeah?

Yeah, they're nuts.

I'm scared the shit out of him.

I'm telling you what, you go on YouTube, type in Bissy, some funny ass shit.

All sorts of stuff about, like, he's talking about one of the songs he recorded here, too.

Really?

Crazy.

I'm gonna get going.

I got a headache that's, like, taking.

You know when you get a headache that hits your eye?

You know what I'm talking about?

Oh, that sucks.

Yeah, I gotta go find a painkiller to take or something.

Yeah, do that, man.

Well, it was nice, uh...

Dude, it's always good having you on, man.

Don't be a stranger, my friend.

Yeah, absolutely, man.

I'll always be around.

All right, cool.

You care about me.

All right, man.

You too.

Talk to you later, Reclute.

All right.

Reclute, everybody.

All right, Reclute.

Oh, man.

Give that guy a hand, man.

We did.

We did give him a hand.

I'll give him several.

Where's the microphone?

There we go.

That's better.

Anyway, yeah, that was fun.

It's good to have a Reclute on.

I'm telling you, man, my eye is like, you know when you get an eye ache?

I wouldn't even say a headache.

It's like an eye ache.

you know i got you guys know what i'm talking about you guys are not meat are you i hear milk

man dude it's like pressure man oh yeah it's bad bad but i've had it for like three or four days

now it won't go away man this sucks yeah yeah have you ever checked your blood pressure recently

my blood sugar yeah i'm on the test strip man i got uh no your blood pressure your pressure

pressure no no no not since i've been to the doctor dude man when your pressure goes high

you start feeling it in your eyes man so you you really should get it checked you know when you

You get a chance, man.

Stop by Walmart and you're handing that collar, you know.

Is that thing accurate?

I'm sorry.

I'm falling asleep.

I'm yawning, man.

I've got to get in the show.

Someone's calling in.

We'll take this call in a second.

But is that really accurate, the machine you sit down at Walmart or the grocery store?

I don't really buy it.

I think that thing can be calibrated, man.

Dude, it's closer than just guessing, man.

It's not that far off because I actually got an electronic machine and compared them.

Hey, hang on a minute, man.

Hey, what's up?

What's going on, man?

The dead?

How you doing? Nice, I'm very happy. Anybody else on the line with you tonight?

You usually call in with, like, other people.

Nice, Emmy. What's going on? Buttering some corn over there, are we? Awesome.

Hi. Hi.

Oh, you guys are just having a great old time, I'm sure.

How you been, man? You've been kind of, I'm really, I see off and on.

I heard you took a bath in some bad stock the other day, huh?

And is it that Google stock I told you you should buy that you went ahead and bought?

You bought Cisco stock?

Did Cisco stock go down, too?

God, everything went down.

I got a bad feeling.

The economy, I think we're headed for some bad times in the next 14 months, I think,

especially with the housing market and the subprime lending catastrophe that's going to be hitting us soon.

Stay away from the stock market now.

You might be best.

I would recommend buying auctioned houses.

I would recommend it because people have to live somewhere.

You know what I mean?

and now's the time to pick up

if anybody, if you guys have any money there

to put in capital, buy yourself a house or two

that's going on auction on foreclosures

and uh, and rent them out

dude, you know who's

blamed? the fucking

Congress, fucking Bush

and Cheney

they're the two fucking blamed

no, it's the banking industry, number one

number two, it's the Fed also

I think for not

stepping in on the subprime

rate issue and all those people I knew was gonna happen I was like how are you

people how these bands gonna lend to all these people who are at high risk for

subprime mortgages sure enough look what happened bit him in the ass that's

probably gonna all I got to go into another depression man I mean I would

hate to say but this time next year I think we're gonna be in the middle of a

depression it's gonna be horrible I'm gonna have to move with my family to

to, like, Europe, I'm gonna have to go to the Virgin Islands with Milkman, bunk with

him for a couple, like, months. I don't know what I'm gonna do. I bet you'd like to bunk

with Milkman, wouldn't you? No. Yeah, right. I know you. No, man. I would like to bunk

with Emmy, man. Oh, hey, there you go. Or Angel. Yeah, man. Would you be the top or

the bottom in that one? I don't know. What you drinking tonight, man? You drinking girly

manhattan's again no i'm drinking fucking 86 rum that's how you do that's nationwide yet it's only

available in chicago south florida like miami south florida or fort lauderdale i'll drive to

fort lauderdale but i'm not going to drive to miami it's called ruby r-e-r-e-y ruby ray

are you why yeah it's a big card Bacardi is really branching out more they get all

the flavored ones they get the wine cool the malt drinks now and now they got

that actually doing that huh good for that man that's a that's a

Puerto Rican rum Bacardi is yeah member of the Puerto Rican rum family all right

today like I said I'm gonna wrap it up I wanted to make sure I know you were

trying to get through for the longest man and I'm sorry but I I got to cut

the show um offer you know what huh liquor store and i'm gonna buy some of you know the

virgin island rum uh cruisin you know that milkman recommends cruisin rum yes sir it's good stuff

and i'm gonna buy it and i'm gonna like it and you know i'm gonna get okay good deal man it's

good stuff when i went on my cruise i bought i think it was like god like four huge bottles for

for like 12 bucks of it or something.

I brought a bunch of it home with me, man.

Pretty good stuff, yeah.

Yeah, that's what you get.

There's good cheap jewelry and cheap alcohol in the islands, man.

I recommend that to everybody.

All right, The Dead.

I'm signing off now.

Hey, thanks for calling in, man.

Maybe next week we'll do some prank calls, all right, buddy?

Okay, man.

You're making me horny, bro.

You're making me horny, too, man.

I'll be thinking about you tonight under the covers, man.

You got it.

See you.

Dead, everybody.

That's The Dead.

All right, we're going to wrap it up here in a second here.

Milkman's going to take us out of here.

Just some quick announcements here.

This episode will be uploaded to the podcast this weekend.

If you're not a subscriber to the podcast, do that now.

Please be sure to go to madhouselive.com.

Check out our prank call archives.

We did some changes to the website this week.

I'd like to thank everybody who helped us out with suggestions for that.

Much appreciated.

You can also check out our newsletter.

There will be an update to the newsletter this weekend as well.

The forums are there as well.

Please join in the forums.

They're trying to make that grow a little bit here and try to keep people connected.

Like I said, I've got Madhouse promos.

I've got prank calls that aren't anywhere else on the show.

I've got prank calls that aren't even on the rotation on there, so be sure to check that out.

Tomorrow night, be sure to check out Zolar Vision.

Zolar will be on SyndicateRadio.tv.

Syndicate Radio, of course, we are on Syndicate Radio now, as a matter of fact.

Be sure to check him out, 10 p.m. Eastern Standard Time, Zolar Vision.

Great show.

Looking forward to that.

That hook, nose, mic will be on in a few minutes after we are done here.

So if you're listening to us on Syndicate, please stay tuned for the hook, nose, mic show.

And also, if you're not listening to us on this, wherever you're listening to us, stay tuned, okay?

I want to thank everybody listening to us on Syndicate.

I want to thank everybody listening to us on Madhouse.

I want to thank everybody listening to us on TalkShoe.

I want to thank all the guys and team speak with us tonight, all of you.

Milkman, take us out of here, my friend.

Hey, man, I'll tell you what.

I had a great time.

I definitely want to thank our caller in tonight.

We had Reclude.

He joined in the show, man.

Always a good time when Reclude comes in, the guys.

Thanks so much for joining back in, Reclude.

Looking forward to hearing some more funny stuff with you, man.

I want to thank Mr. Ted, Mr. Ted, Mr. Ted, Ted, Ted Webb, man.

Captain Picard out there at the IBM factory.

He's the man, man.

Thank you so much for joining us.

He provided us with our wonderful team first care, man, the big group effort, the big orgy group check here.

We had a bunch of people on the team speak.

We had Baz and the Warriors, Doc.

I think everybody is locked in and wanting to hear.

Hey, man, thanks a lot, man.

I'm really glad to have you guys on board, man.

I also want to thank my favorite, hardest working man in the radio.

I want to thank you, Mr. Lonesome Loser.

Man, without you, man, this world wouldn't turn and last, man.

Thank God for it.

I'm the loser, man.

You got to give that guy credit, guys.

Yes, sir.

I want to thank everybody for joining us in the chat.

We had quite a few people in the chat, man.

A lot of people, yeah.

Busy.

Actually, Milkman, we hit a total of 52 listeners at our peak tonight,

which I'm going to say is the best numbers we've had since the PCU split,

Which is awesome.

So, hey, thank you, everybody, for spreading the word and listening to us.

Yeah, bye-bye.

Awesome stuff.

We love where we are now.

We really have it in here.

Hey, man, that number's going to go up, too, man.

Good fans, good people.

That's right, man.

Good people supporting us and everything.

I've got a bunch of new people that are going to join in.

Hey, man, I've got a bunch of new people that are going to join the family of the Madhouse

and get in this crazy thing we do with prank call radios, man.

This is some fun stuff, man.

I want to special thank you, man, our fearless leader, Mr. Carlito, man,

man.

Our El General

and he's the

more than I

ever had.

That's one big

militia.

Man,

what's up to you,

man?

I would have

killed somebody

tonight.

Thank you so

much,

man,

because somebody

was high on my

death list,

man.

So,

yeah,

brokers right

around their

knees.

Thank you so

much,

man.

And I also

want to thank

you,

our listeners,

because you

know what?

It is all

about you,

man.

We do this

every week for

you.

You don't send

us a dime,

we pay every

week just so

we can have

the most

interactive,

It's a fun show available.

Anybody can join in.

You can call in, join in the net.

My Anna's.

You can do a request a prank, I'm honestly from the web.

Hey, thanks a lot.

We love you, man, and keep coming back.

In fact, we've got a lot more fun stuff coming up this year.

And look for some really nice surprises before Christmas.

Thank you for tuning in.

I also want to thank Sweet Kisses for tuning back in.

And also, welcome back, Neo, to the family.

Neo's back in the family.

Welcome.

It's good to see you now.

And that's right, man.

I want to thank you so much for joining in.

Back to you, Big Carly.

All right, Milkman.

Thank you.

Okay.

I want to apologize.

We had two requests of pranks that came in, and we didn't get to them, unfortunately.

We had a lady who hates to be called fat, and we didn't get to that.

I apologize.

And I also want to apologize to Rozzy, who sent in, again, for the second time, Rowena.

I think we called her once before, and it was pretty funny.

But we didn't get to her this week.

I apologize, gentlemen, but it is saved.

We will try to get that on our next show either a week from tonight on next Thursday here at 10 p.m. Eastern Standard Time

or if not, maybe before then.

Maybe we'll do a surprise show sometime.

Ted, man, thanks for hosting the TeamSpeak for us so everyone can be connected, man.

Thank you for being in.

We didn't get to you either tonight, man, but I'm sorry, but I'm running out of gas.

Like I said, you're the man.

Thank you, sir.

Hey, it was a good show.

Running out of gas.

Thanks, Ted.

Tuck Warrior.

Everyone, be sure to go to prankcall.info for Tuck.

And the Warrior has no website, but be sure to check him out over there at...

Sunday afternoon, prankcall.info.

Click on the link.

That's right.

Listen to that.

And everyone, if you want to see the Warrior's video...

If you want to see the Warrior's video, be sure to go to pornotube.com.

He's listed on there.

Be sure to check that out.

Baz, I see, has been joining us tonight.

Everybody out there.

Awesome.

All right, folks.

We're out of here.

Do you like a porno?

Good show, man.

All right, thanks.

Everybody, thanks for listening.

We'll catch you here next week.

Watch Chuck live naked.

Madhouse Radio is live Thursday nights at 10 p.m. Eastern.

Why don't you shut the hell up?

Fuck you!

Fuck you fucking penis dicks!

Be sure to visit us online at madhouselive.com.

Calls (10, 31 min of 1 h 51 min)

Transcript

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