2007-12-06 Show

And who plays?

What happens in America?

Well, we steamed your ass in World War II.

What do you have to do?

I never did.

And who helped you out just now?

You piss off, woman.

Don't talk to me like that.

We don't need you anyway, bitch.

Shut up, bitch.

Call me a stinky, stinky fucker.

You are listening to the Madhouse Radio Podcast.

Ladies and gentlemen, the State of the Union is strong.

Mr. Speaker, Madhouse Radio is on.

I know all of you were sitting there clapping with everybody else, right?

Milkman, don't you expect everybody to clap?

Everybody's supposed to clap.

Everybody put your hands together now for this.

Yes, put your hands together.

Boy, I love this.

Milkman's pulling his foreskin back as we speak, everybody.

Madhouse Radio is here.

Oh, man.

You know, 89 years of it here, brother.

Oh, man, I didn't need to know that part of it, but good.

Here we are.

It is 10.

54 inches of love.

10 54 inches of love tonight on Thursday, December the 6th.

It's 10 to 12 p.m. Eastern Standard Time.

That will make it 7 to 12 p.m. Tedco's time.

We are here, and we're excited to do a show.

It's going to be a short show tonight because I need to get to sleep.

I got a lot of gripes.

I got a lot of complaints.

And hopefully we'll do some prank calls.

And it starts.

I'm talking now.

You guys.

It's not going to happen to be Einstein over there all the time, you know.

Nope.

You guys got an hour of me tonight.

That's all you get.

So enjoy it.

Sorry to let you down.

Stop fucking clapping, Milkman.

Stop the clapping.

I'm tired of the clapping.

All right.

Settle down, everybody.

Listen up.

All right.

So if you guys want to call in tonight, the toll-free line is out there, of course.

If you don't know it too bad, you can reach us on AOL Instant Messenger and Yahoo Messenger,

Madhouse Radio

That's the messengers

That's how you message me

Madhouse Radio

If you want to use the MSN messenger

MSN messenger can contact me

Madhouse at live dot com

Milkman will now give out the toll free line

Milkman please take it away

Hey man that's right

Man we got your dime

You give us a time and dial in tonight's live

Show 888-278-8509

niner. 8-5-0 niner.

Good work, Milkman. Good. You get a gold star

already for doing your job

because last week you had negative one gold star

I found out. It won't last for long, Carter.

It won't because you ended the night last week.

It won't last long. You know who won last week?

It was Lonesome Loser, the MVP of last week's show.

Congratulations, Lonesome Loser. He's

defending his title tonight.

I think Tuck had negative two. God bless the Lonesome

Loser. He had negative one. Tuck

was the loser of the night. Negative two. And I think

Ted came in with one, but we did

We did have the Lonesome Loser with two gold stars.

Congratulations, Lonesome Loser.

Ted, Tuck, the Warrior.

Who else is out there?

Anybody else out there?

I saw Brandon Vegas lurking, but he couldn't get in because no one let him in like I told you to.

So, hello, ladies.

Greet the people.

Oh, man.

BV's the man.

Been around a long time.

Yeah.

Well, he's out there.

I think he wants to get in.

Oh, Mario just died.

Anyway, so I'm assuming.

Oh, where is he?

I don't know.

He's in the lobby.

So, Tuck is here.

He said hi.

Hi, Tuck.

Good.

Good, and Ted's here, and the Warriors are on there too, so good man, I'm glad to see

some people in here getting excited, getting superfied, we're all super fried, superfied,

yes.

In the news, what's been going on in the news, I don't know, nothing big, Pimp C is dead,

rest in peace Pimp C, Pimp C everybody, Pimp C.com, it's here for Pimp C, Milkman, what

do you think about Pimp C, he's dead, Milkman isn't even here, well if he was here, I'm

sure that he would have a lot of nice things to say for pimp c since he's no longer with us

anymore one half of ugk is gone same that's a beautiful statement all that we just heard

everybody's here now ted the warrior i know the milkman stepped out are you guys around now can

you hear me we got problems nasa nobody can hear you hey asshole you hear me now don't you

exactly el diablo restaurant is coming in that's because i'm listening to the fucking stream

then you wouldn't be hearing me live

you wouldn't hear this right now

you'd hear it like 10 seconds from now

you see, milkman is what I'm talking about

I fixed the problem, I had stuff all

messed up and stuff

hey Brandon Vegas is here, what's up Brandon Vegas

BrandonVegas.com

yeah I can see this show is going to be shit tonight everybody

hope you're all excited for a shit show

anyway if you want to catch us here

we're ready to give you a raise

I'm having a flashback, a flashback, a flashback

a flashback

yeah you guys are really freaking me out tonight

Anyway, so if you guys want to reach us, you know how.

We're going to be doing prank calls.

I'm going to give them out again here, the numbers that we have.

We have Spank's Gentleman's Club.

We've got Hitman Exterminators, Ducky Korean Barbecue.

That sounds kind of fun, Ducky Korean Barbecue.

Hey, I think I'm going to call that.

Are you excited about that, Milkman?

Yeah, that sounds tasty, doesn't it?

Yeah, man, I'm getting hungry right now.

Holy shit, look at you all excited.

We'll be right back after this with the first prank call of the night

and more titillating conversation while I try to fix the audio here.

We like you, fans.

Thank you, listeners.

We'll be right back in a moment.

Kitty, kitty.

Call time.

All right.

Break call time.

Yeah.

Hey.

What are you doing?

Can you fax me a menu?

Shut your goddamn mouth.

What do you mean I have a fax machine?

Yeah, just walk in here.

Shut your goddamn mouth.

Yeah.

Okay, good.

What's the number 14 then?

I'm feeling the 14.

I'm feeling it.

What is the 14?

Number 14.

What's the number 14?

I'm feeling that number tonight.

Number 14.

14.

Come on.

We don't have a number 14.

You don't have a number, uh, number, uh, combos there?

Number, menu, we don't have it.

What's your favorite number?

Well, count, count on the menu, go, like, count number 14 and tell me what it would be.

Come on, what is it?

Yeah, that's what I'm saying, we don't have the number, menu, 14, you just read it.

Don't you believe in feng shui and all that Buddha stuff?

Come on, just count 14 items down and tell me what it is and I'll order it, come on.

I don't know, sorry about that, you guys will come and work here.

You're so stupid, you can't even count, huh?

Yeah, you're gonna fuck you.

Yes!

Alright.

I so stupid, fuck me.

me. That's a beautiful statement right there. Good for me. You guys are off mute now. I'm

sorry I put you on mute. I forgot I had you guys on mute. Alright. Good point, lady. She

got me there. I want to try to hear that again. It's probably too late by now. Alright, let's

see if we can catch a replay in enough time here. I don't think I have that short of a

a buffer 98.6 no so stupid you can't even count huh all right good caught it right in time all

right man that is talent talent i'm the talented carlito is here tonight i'm gonna give myself a

gold star oh yeah i got a gold star bitches now what me and milkman are tied and go star oh hell

no i don't want to say hi to everybody out there who's listening tonight all 58 people listening

Thank you very much for being here with us.

Of course, Milkman is listening tonight.

Milkman Jonathan is listening.

I think he's calling in.

Real quickly, we're just going to say what's up to some people out there.

So hang on, Jonathan.

Of course, Lonesome Losers in the house.

Lonesome Losers sending in numbers.

Brandon Vegas, I see you stopping by.

Nice to see you there.

If you have your mic on, say what's up.

Go ahead.

Jump in whenever you want.

I see the venerable Nunu.

The dead's hanging out, looks like, here online.

He's messaging me right now.

Great.

Good work.

The Warrior, Wise Fool, Gingreen, Killer P, Cocaine.

Cocaine.

Y'all go to the Madhouse forums and post a music request for Cocaine, man.

He had this big project, and even you, Milk, man,

he asked you specifically to put some music requests in there in the Madhouse forums.

You didn't do shit, man.

Come on.

You want to help the guy out.

He's trying to make you, you know, get you involved.

So go to the Madhouse forums.

Cocaine, he started a thread there, and put your music request for the damn show.

Whatever you put in there, we'll find the song, we'll play it on the show.

you got it, whatever, we'll play, we'll dedicate it to your honey, I see Falls out there too,

what's up big girl, how you doing, Daryl, everybody else, Tuck, Mr. Karoshi, I think

that's Ted Webb, whatever, and of course, Zolar Vision, who will be on tomorrow night,

Zolar Vision, Zolar Party Nation, tomorrow night, at 10pm Eastern Standard Time, 7pm

Pacific, be sure to catch that, Zolar Vision, important show tomorrow, I understand that

he's going to be dropping dimes tomorrow, so make sure you check that out, Spike Mike,

Mike, thank you for calling me earlier tonight.

Sidekick Chuck.

DTT checking in for the first time in a long time.

Straight out of flight school.

DTT.

All right, man.

Good to see you back.

Dino, Deathlock, they're all here.

Everybody's here.

Anybody I miss, I'm sorry.

That's enough, DTT.

DTT's on his knees right now.

You think DTT does the thing where you bow to the sun?

You know?

You bow to the sun, yo.

That's what I heard how you do it.

You bow to the sun.

Good to see you.

All right.

He says I'm a fucking Mexican bitch

Well that's good thanks man

You got it anyway so

More prank calls unless does anybody have an announcement

Or something they need to talk about

Anybody out there

DTT is happy he graduated

Good for you DTT

I got the rowdy rebel

They sell rebel flags clothing and other goods

That's a good game man

That's a good game

We're going to call the rowdy rebel coming up next

It's Madhouse Radio.

Everybody fillet your fingers right now.

Hey, is this the rebel place?

Yeah, it is.

Awesome.

What's the biggest rebel flag you got?

I sell for $40.

I have a 3x5.

I sell for $8.

4x6 I sell for $25.

Biggest I have is a 5x8.

Okay, my bull died putting him in an refrigerator.

Seagy.

So I wanted to have a rebel flag to put on top of him.

His name was General Lee.

Did he die?

How did he die?

Was it...

He got shot.

God, as asshole punk kids came up, shot them right in the eye, started running.

I don't think kids understand.

I don't think kids understand, you know, depending on how old they were.

Well, you know, Will Smith said the parents didn't understand,

but the kids don't understand these days.

They don't know the sacrifice that we made.

Or the sacrifice they're making.

Yeah, they're sacrificing everything for the South.

How are we going to rise again?

Yep, exactly.

How'd you end up in Washington?

I don't know.

I've been here most of my life.

So are you in the fifth column, too?

No, no, I'm just to the Confederate history, the Civil War history, and I'm just a rebel at heart.

Oh, okay, well, no, because I'm breeding war dogs for the Second Civil War.

And, yeah, I'm with basically the Second Reich of the Confederacy.

We're going to rise again.

So they're sending us into the North to implant our culture, country music, cornbread, things of this nature.

Good to hear.

Yeah, so...

We need more of that out this way.

Well, we're spreading the cornbread.

Everybody tells me, you know, I don't belong out here, but it's like, yes, I do.

This is my home.

It's heritage, not hate, baby.

It is.

Although I've had so much trouble, I'll tell you what, they're really starting to turn

against them big time, you know.

It's turning into a hate issue with me.

Oh, is it?

You know, because I have had so many scary moments.

I have had so much trouble selling, you know, doing what I do for a living.

I've had stuff thrown at me

I mean it's been

It's been pretty bad

It's just

And you know

These Mexicans

The Mexicans

Have their flags

Wherever they want

Not just white liberals

Liberal whites

They're the ones

I have the most trouble with

Yeah that liberal white flag

Is something else

Yeah

That American flag

And it's sad

Because the Civil War

Is a part of our history

I mean it's what

Built this country

Is the way I look at it

I'm feeling it right now

Hang on

Rebels

That's what I am

For this Yankee nation

I do not give a damn.

I punch Bill Clinton in the mouth.

Yeah.

Sex with his dog buddy because I'm a sexual philiac when it comes to dogs.

See, you know it well.

I'm going to go into the refrigerator with my dog.

You are?

We're drowning together.

Huh?

We're drowning together at sea like viking.

See, we're half viking, half racist.

Oh, you are?

Half viking, half racist?

Yes.

Okay.

We're the original white supremacists.

We used to go around in our Viking boats, and we'd kick ass.

You ever heard of the Battle of Wanton Bay?

This big Viking ship came down.

It was the American Navy and the Japanese Navy.

We'd kick their ass.

For the white race.

Because this, if you understood, but the American Navy, it's run by the Jews.

Yep, exactly.

And Hollywood.

This whole country is.

Everything is.

And the liberal media.

We're going downhill fast.

And the Rand Corporation.

Anyway, what kind of interference on the phone?

and I'm having a hard time hearing you.

I have a vibro.

Thank you.

See you later, Peepers.

All right, baby.

Use of the N-word.

I'm having a weird show tonight.

See you later, Peepers.

Whatever.

Good, that was fun.

I even get to sing.

I sang a racist rebel song.

All right.

Oh, man.

Zolar liked that.

That was kind of fun.

That lady was kind of interesting.

I had some good spaghetti tonight.

I feel really full.

That's good.

Yeah, Betty.

Oh, yeah.

What'd you have for dinner, Milkman?

What'd you have?

A ham sandwich?

Let's go ahead and have Ryan Tibble here.

Matt, how's Ryan?

fried Madhouse Roundtable.

Milkman started off.

What did you have for dinner tonight, Milkman?

All right, we get dinner, man.

I had a Big Mac.

Actually, it's a quarter pounder, a Swiss quarter pounder.

From McDonald's, man.

Yeah, they got Swiss cheese.

I had salad in here at the house.

Oh, salad.

You make some good salad.

That's what I'm talking about, baby.

A big tall glass of milk.

A nice Fat Albert salad there.

$20 bill crumpled up on it.

That's how you do it.

That's right.

All right.

I don't hear it.

It's a fat Albert Salad.

That's what I'm talking about.

All right.

All calories, no lettuce.

Good deal.

Ted, if you're around, we haven't heard from you all night.

Ted, what did you have for dinner tonight?

Or have you had dinner yet?

Where is Ted?

I think Ted's away.

He's not here, I guess.

Okay.

All right.

What about you, then, since you're brave and talking?

I had fried chicken, potato salad, and beer.

What kind of beer?

What brewery did you have tonight?

St. Pauly Grill.

You know, I never had a St. Pauly Grill.

I've seen it, the blue and white thing, whatever.

It's not bad.

It's pretty good.

All right, cool.

I'll check that out.

Tuck, you're up next.

Let's wrap it up quickly, please.

Crab meat spaghetti and a diet sundrop.

Diet sundrop.

Is that a soda?

Yes, it is.

Okay.

Citrus soda.

I'm a fan of citrus soda occasionally.

And, of course, we ran out of things with the Warrior Warrior.

What did you have?

Ramen noodles tonight?

What's going on?

Baked beans, I think I heard.

Okay, good.

Good.

Magical fruit.

Baked beef.

I'm just messing with you, man.

It's okay.

I'm going to have to go.

Beef, beans, beef, beans.

Beef, beans, same difference as all protein, baby.

It all comes out brown in the end, so whatever it was, we know what you mean.

We're going to call James Bond.

No, we're not.

I don't have our international card.

Ha, too bad.

We're going to call El Diablo Restaurant.

El Diablo Restaurant.

Exciting, isn't it?

Good.

I'm glad you agree.

The Devil Restaurant.

One moment for the next prank call of the night.

We've got about 40 minutes left to show.

The toll-free line will be open.

The mouth line will be open in a little bit if you want to call in.

In the meantime, please keep listening.

Visit syndicateradio.tv, syndicateradio.tv as in transvestite, and madhouselive.com.

Listen to the words, Milkman.

It's a big lesson for you to learn.

Open it up, Milkman.

Hi.

I don't know exactly how to work it, my buddy.

Just here working the phone machine, man.

You know how it is.

Yeah.

Fucking phone machine, right?

You work it all the time, I bet.

Don't use the phone machine a lot?

You put someone on who does, maybe?

Is anybody available?

I mean, you don't take the phone machine orders, so I mean, I got to put in an order.

Yeah, I'm ready.

What do you want?

You got a paper, a pen, any?

Wash your hands every time you go to the bathroom.

You sure about that?

Yeah.

I got a litmus test.

It goes right between the fingers.

It's a little strip, right?

And I swipe it through your fingers like a credit card.

Okay.

And it comes out.

And if it looks blue, you didn't wash your hands.

You got pee-pee germs on it.

No.

And that is a federal offense, sir.

You know why?

Why?

Because I am Richard Nixon Jr.,

son of the greatest president of the 70s.

Ended the war.

Ended communism.

Communism, all that stuff.

Uh-huh.

What type of vessel do you use for frying?

We don't.

You don't fry at all?

That's good.

That's good because I'm concerned with the polysaturateds, you know?

Yeah, everybody is.

And the GHB?

Okay.

MDMA either?

Okay, good deal.

I'm going to write down my order.

So we don't have fries.

Well, you bake stuff and what's the deal?

Yeah, we grill everything.

Grill everything?

Yep.

Well, any potatoes then?

I like potatoes.

No potatoes at all?

No sweet potatoes?

Any veggies at all?

Well, it's just burritos and tacos.

That's pretty boring.

anyway. How are you going to what? How do you grill the taco? Well, you grill the meat

and then you put it in the taco. Oh, so you're not grilling the taco then. This doesn't mean

that your story isn't adding up. Oh, yeah. You know what? You're a fucking bastard. You

know why? Why? You're ruining my show. You and your boring demeanor and your lack of

sense of humor and not wanting to entertain me. You're boring people. You're making me

feel like an asshole and you're ruining my night. You know what this means? That you

are an asshole? It is. Number one. Number two, I'm going to get canceled. Dr. Legos

from me. How much do you think I weigh?

Take a bet. Weight? Yeah, and

pounds, pounds. 115 probably?

Nah, I wish myself. Probably about 5'11".

511 pounds?

Well, 5'11", that's good.

You know, you're pretty good tall.

5'11", I'm guessing. Nah, I'm

close to 300, my friend.

I weigh about 298. I'm 5'11".

I've maxed out all my credit cards.

I've been unemployed for three months.

The only chance I get is this fucking Jew in New York

says, hey, you do a show on this computer machine.

You make people laugh. And what happens?

Because I call someone like you, you don't make me laugh.

You don't make anybody laugh.

What's going to happen to me?

You need help, man.

He's paying my cable bill.

What am I going to do?

What, use the rabbit ears or something?

Sounds like you need a lot of help.

I have a $1,400 flat screen TV that I bought last year for the Super Bowl.

What am I going to do with that?

I'm going to stick the rabbit ears in the back of it.

I'm going to watch what?

PBS?

Huh?

What kind of fun is that?

You know, I can't even get the ABC affiliate out of here.

It's a piece of shit.

It's a fucking crap place that I live in.

Then this black guy moved in next door the other day.

Slamming the doors all the time, running up and down the steps, playing music loud.

Just had to gripe.

I can't. I just got a lot of tension, man.

Tensis. This is quite the tensis, everybody.

Who do you think I am?

My head's been itching all week, too, man.

I mean, I don't know if I got, like, advanced dandruff disease or something, man,

but it's not going good.

Zach online says he doesn't like Tuck because Tuck is from the South.

Tuck, you're from the South, man.

Zach doesn't like you.

What's up with that, yo?

I don't like Zach because Zach is from wherever he's from.

Yeah, he's from the Deep South.

You're not South enough, boy.

I'm in the Deepest South.

I'm in Florida, man.

I'm not getting any deeper than this.

You can't get any South-nerder than that.

I think Alabama is the epitome.

Like, as I say, you know, the Deep South, the Deep South.

Now, Florida is the deepest of the South, but it's all, you know, a bunch of Cubans and stuff, man.

I mean, we took over a while ago.

I think Alabama is like the capital of the South now, right?

What was the capital of the South?

What was it?

The real South is like Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia.

Birmingham, Georgia, right, right.

Get out there to Gotha, Alabama, and stuff like that.

All those nasty towns.

Valdosta, Georgia.

That's the South right there, man.

That's where they made you pick some cotton back in the day.

I'd be picking cotton right now

If it was still slavery

I probably wouldn't be here

I don't know where I'd be

They'd pick cotton right here

Where I live right now, man

Yeah, don't you have a cotton field over there?

Your parents are probably

Your great-grandparents were probably slaves

Yes, they were

See, there you go, Tuck

Tuck's the son of a slave owner

They were

Tuck's descendant of slave owners, everybody

Here, Madhouse Radio has proved it again

DTT makes a good point

Even my senator's Cuban

No, he's not

He's not my senator

He's a senator in the other district, my friend

Not mine

I didn't vote for no Cuban

I don't like Cubans.

I want some losers.

You know, we got more numbers here from him.

We did El Diablo.

We did The Rebel.

We got a cafe called The Jumpin' Boba.

I don't know about that.

It's Banks Gentleman's Club.

Hitman Exterminators.

All right, let's call it Hitman Exterminators.

I'm excited about that.

All right, man.

We'll call it Hitman Exterminators.

Milkman, a music request.

Milkman, now's your time.

A music request.

Anything?

Hey, man.

You know what teams I like on there.

and I still want to hit an unfunky UFO, man.

We played that last week for you, man.

You ruined it.

I mean, like, a couple seconds of it

while I blabbed over top of it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, hang on.

Unfunky UFO?

And again, it's not showing up.

Why is it not showing up?

Unfunky UFO?

It's not showing up.

I think it's operator error, possibly.

No, it's not, it's not.

This operator here is the epitome of operations, by the way.

I don't mess up stuff.

I'm a smooth...

One ringy dingy, two ringy dingy.

They have a song called Operator, I think I do.

It's called a redneck hit house.

What do you call your mom, Milkman, huh?

You think about that?

You know, what's up with her?

How's she doing?

Well, you gotta call Heaven.

Call Heaven, man.

We'll be right back with the next prank call of the night.

This song is gonna suck.

This is Milkman's song, the one he wanted us to play.

Hang on, everybody, listen to this.

The worst song you've ever asked me to play, Milkman.

Not again.

Yeah, bye-bye.

And exterminators.

PO Box 3.

Hi, this is PO Box 385722.

Excellent. I was trying to find your location before. I need some help. I wanted to discuss the plans.

I had the architecture all laid out in my place. I've got a huge problem. I've got a lot of mosquitoes.

I've got feral ants. We've got fire ants in the back.

I've gotten in an anteater to try to exterminate the ants.

The anteater got lost somewhere. I have no idea if he's in the basement or the attic where he is exactly, number one.

Number two, I've got a snake to fight the anteater. The snake is out of nowhere.

I don't even know what kind of snake. It was all black. I'm pretty sure there's no all black snakes that are dangerous.

no, no, no, no, I got him at the, uh, at the,

uh, at the snake store, you know, that guy, Puppies R Us down the road, he's got snakes,

he's got fish, he's got puppies, he's got a puppy mill, and he's got a few cats, and

he's got a lot of parakeets, alright, I, I got a pit bull from him the other day, damn

pit bull, I had to bury this damn snake here, he said it's, uh, some kind of snake that

They scare out the squirrels.

They scare out the raccoons.

I said, well, maybe he'll scare out the aardvark.

And he's like, oh, maybe.

So we got an aardvark now, too, on top of this now.

We got anteater and an aardvark.

So what the fuck do I do?

Wait, sir, number one, I don't like you making assumptions.

You're my friend.

You're my business associate.

We're conversing on business.

Shut up.

Shut up back there.

Motherfucker, shut up.

Anyway, I hear the scratching.

I hear the scratching.

What can you do?

You got any CS?

Pharaoh ants.

You know what pharaoh ants are?

We got some of those.

We got fox snake.

Fox snake.

Ant eater.

It's wrong.

You haven't explained the whole thing at the end just to hang up on me.

Why would he do that?

Why would he make me go through all that again?

You know, he's just mean.

He's just a mean person.

He's a mean.

I think he was wanking and he was talking Jack Masterson.

I don't know.

That guy's fucked up.

Whatever that guy.

Whatever that guy, folks.

Yeah.

Is Ted back yet?

He got spices.

Where the hell is the Ted man?

Tedder.

Ted hasn't been here yet.

Son of a bitch.

He's fired.

You're fired, Ted.

You're out of here, Ted, on your ass.

Get off my show.

The Grinch is going to call in, I understand.

Jonathan's calling in in a moment.

We're excited about that.

Sean Ward's going to be calling in in a moment also.

We're excited about that.

No, I'm kidding.

I don't know if Sean Ward's around.

Talked to him the other day.

He's doing good.

I think I already talked about this, so why even bother?

You know, I don't even have my messengers up, dude.

What the hell?

Having a bad show tonight, my friends.

It's not going good.

Nothing, anything going on you want to talk about?

Hey, man, I'm doing good, man.

I'm excited.

I'm ready for Thanksgiving.

Hey, what's going on?

What's up, kid?

Bad times.

Bad, dark times for the Empire, man.

It's dark, dark.

Been busy, you know.

How's the back treating you?

I think it's still a lot better.

I'm in bed.

I'm back up in my chair and stuff.

I'm back to work.

Man, you still on painkillers?

Yeah, I'm still doing the painkillers.

You can send me one or two in the mail, man.

Man, I'll send you a $5 bill.

You send me, like, three bills, man, whatever you got.

Well, I can do that.

No, I'm not going to do that to you, man.

That's a federal offense.

Why are you going to do that, man?

Come on.

You're here on live radio.

Everyone knows you got to be smart, be on top of things.

Jonathan, I'm having a weird night tonight, man.

I'm probably going to end the show in about 12 minutes,

so I wanted to make sure you called in.

You always do when you're live.

It's good to talk to you, though.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, man.

I'm glad you're working again.

Yeah, I'm glad, too.

I got my brand-new bus back.

I had to take it in and add the heaters first on.

Oh, crap.

And it's working like a pro now.

Yeah, is that a Bluebird?

I think I've asked you that before.

They don't make Bluebirds anymore, do they?

They don't make them like they used to.

They make Bluebirds.

Are they good?

They're all a Bluebird vision.

Yeah, oh, it's a different one?

So what do you prefer, like, in the international?

I've only ever seen the Bluebird myself.

I've never seen an international for a school bus.

I mean, what's the...

Yeah, international just started making new buses.

I think a couple years ago.

Okay.

Are they roomier or anything?

I mean, any difference?

Faster?

More pickup?

Kind of a bluebird.

Okay.

Except bluebirds are a little bit more powerful than internationals.

Okay, good.

Well, you want that, yeah.

Definitely want a bluebird.

I trust a bluebird.

You know, growing up as a kid, you always see the bluebird symbol, and you know you're safe.

You know, you're going home safe.

You may not have a lap belt on.

You may not have a seat belt on, but damn it, you're safe.

never had a seat in the whole time that I that I took the school bus we never

had seatbelts on it was just to think what happened we got in an accident

wouldn't we go flying I don't know that's safe you see then I won

international all right man all right Jonathan now's your time we got a few

only a few minutes left here I'm sorry to let you down but I'm not gonna be a

long show tonight I got stuff to do but now's your time as always go ahead let

Let them know what's up.

I want to say hello to all my friends and fans and listeners.

I hope you all have a great weekend.

Please check out our new website, narsports.bravehost.com.

We've got some new guests coming to our show pretty soon.

I'm looking forward to the guests, man.

All right, well, I'll let you go.

All right, buddy.

Take care.

That's Jonathan, everybody.

Jonathan.

Oh, man.

Feeling good tonight, everybody.

Feeling good.

We've got Hungry Redneck.

This is in Oregon.

Oh, man.

What is with the rednecks in the Pacific Northwest?

I had no idea they were up there.

They really are infiltrating.

What is going on?

Killer P saying, call in Lisa the Realtor again.

We called her a few weeks ago.

That's right.

I remember her.

He's been giving out her number to Nigerian scan emails.

Oh, no.

Give her a call.

She's sure to bitch me out.

That's funny.

that's funny okay okay we called this realtor who apparently is very promiscuous and she's like in

her 40s or something we messed with her once apparently killer p has been giving out her

number to nigerian scam email people she's pissed off about it i mean it might be funny to call in

as a nigerian guy we'll see how that works this would be a good one for boba johnson but you know

ted can't be around that's too busy that's good a wife with history wallet fuck that guy worst

Worst voice ever in the history of the Madhouse.

God.

I'm trying to put everybody to sleep.

Get us canceled.

Dr. Leggo's going to cancel us, man.

I'm telling you.

Watch out.

Oh, hell.

All right.

Back in a moment with the next prank call of the night.

This is Lisa the Realtor, Madhouse Radio.

This email is from Wallace.

He said that you wanted to carve a picture for him to send you to the shack.

This is Wallace.

You're going to carve the picture for me.

Children.

I'm going to send you to the shack.

That's so stupid, wasn't it?

So, coming up next.

Gonna call the Hungry Redneck

Hungry Redneck

In a moment folks

Actually no

The Redneck Saloon first

We're almost done with the show

So stand by

I was hungry

Jake

Jake 12

What kind of rub you guys use?

Montreal

What's that?

Montreal what?

Montreal

What is it?

Montreal steak seasoning

You got any onions?

You guys grill any onions on there?

We can

Yeah yeah let's do that

You got mushrooms?

Yep

Got the onions?

No problem

What do you want for your side?

Uh fries

Just the drippings too

Possible

What?

The drippings.

You guys grill them or scrape the grill a little bit, get that gristle on.

Okay.

You got any white bread?

White, yeah.

Best spatula, you run it.

You run the piece of white bread along it.

You know what I'm talking about when you do that?

Um, uh, how close are you to here?

Five minutes away.

I just gotta get the wheelchair.

I'll be there.

So, gristle sandwich.

Gristle sandwich.

Can I talk to the guy back there?

Maybe, let me ask him in person if that's okay.

Well?

Yeah, bro.

Put bro on.

I was asking for a gristle sandwich.

Is that possible this time of night?

What, what, what do you need?

Well, you know when you make the steak, right?

Yeah.

Okay, you take that spatula, you scrub all that stuff off the grill.

You take a piece of white bread and you fold it in half and you run it longwise along the spatula.

And you take a slice of American cheese and you put it right down the half.

But who is this?

This is Ralph Littlejohn.

Where are you coming from?

I'm coming from my house, sir.

I mean, you know, because I'm Samoan doesn't mean I'm a piece of...

I don't know who you are.

I'm Samoan.

But...

I'm a Samoan.

Oh, you're one of those.

sandwich medium well steak and i was asking him what kind of rub but he doesn't know he's just a

kid that guy he's kid what do you know what kind of sandwich steak meat steak meats you have steak

steak meats no no don't hang up don't hang up no don't you i am going hang on listen listen i'm

the owner you don't hang up right here my hand you take your papers you roll them up tight you

shove them in your ass croatian i'm serbian i'm serbian i'm a serbian you bastard fuck you you

You bastard, he says, everybody.

I knew that Serbian part would get him at the end.

Oh, man.

My guy was funny.

You guys awake over there, man?

That was a good call.

Come on, assholes.

It was a good call.

Yeah, I'm here.

It was funny.

We were laughing.

We were so busy laughing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Whatever.

Don't be too excited.

We got a Serbian calling, then.

First, you roll him up tight.

You shove him in your ass, Croatian.

I'm Serbian.

Fuck you.

I'm a Serbian, you bastard.

That's a good point.

point show how you doing hi honey how are you what's up today how you doing okay baby

doing good thinking about you and whacking a little yeah hey let me you know blind people

how do you how do they know when to stop wiping their ass do you think they smell the paper but

it still smells like cocky sometimes even though there's nothing on it you know maybe they taste

it that's nasty why would you gonna have to wash your hands again no they did they wash

Oh, they just wash it off?

They just lick it off like a cat would?

Oh, that's nasty.

Very good, the dead.

Very classy.

Very good.

How you doing, man?

Good.

You got a snowstorm up there, huh?

That's not bad.

Oh, I thought it was the other day.

Well, hey, man, good.

I'm glad you're out, man.

Good for you, the dead.

I want to fucking go to...

Sounds like a good idea, Steven.

Yeah, maybe I'll...

No, I'm not going to say that.

Hey, you want to do a prank call?

You get the honor of the last prank call of the night.

We're ending the show.

Are you ready?

Are you excited?

Yeah.

Because I'm with you.

I love you so much today.

Pajama John.

Do this Pajama John thing.

I don't know.

I think I have like four minutes left in the card, so you better make it happen, all right?

What?

That's all I got.

Dead, everybody.

Don't you have the international card I sent you?

Always pushing it.

Yeah, Milkman, I know, but it's time to end.

I got to do an exam tomorrow at 6 o'clock in the morning because it's already 11.

I'm looking at six hours of sleep.

What do you think I am?

A machine?

I'm playing code?

Yeah.

Hang on.

The dad's in a prank call after this. The dad. I'm telling you, don't screw this up, man.

Keep on pushing.

Renick Saloon, everybody.

A liquor saloon or a hair salon?

Hi, baby. I was put there. People were hitting on me, and I told them I was, you know, I'm a shemale.

They were very rude to me, and I'm gonna file a complaint. I'm with my lawyer right now.

Where did you go, honey?

You didn't come here.

Yeah, I came over there.

You didn't come over here to Redneck's.

Can you talk to her for a minute?

Tom, my lawyer's on the freeway with me.

Hey, guys, how you doing?

Is this the Redneck Saloon?

I'm sorry?

Is this the Redneck Saloon?

Yes, it is.

I let my slow friend out of the cage, and he went down there, and now you guys screwed him all up.

Your friend was never here.

He was.

He says he was.

They were making fun of me because I was his shemale, and they were very rude to me, and I was very embarrassed.

That's over.

I'm sorry, man.

It ran out of gas like this right at the end, man.

Yeah.

Well, we had fun today.

You had fun tonight?

You had a good show?

I had fun.

Yeah, Milkman says one more call.

He's sending in a card.

Send in a game.

He's going to have to send it again.

Again, Milkman, you've got to send it again.

We'll do one more call before I go because it's been an hour.

Honestly, it's been an hour now.

We've got to be honest and be good.

Yeah, you're right.

I've got to do a test tomorrow,

and it's my responsibility to carry this family that I have now.

What test?

It's a business management test.

Are you still going to class?

Did you move on?

What happened with you?

Did you still have a break?

I'm taking breaks because I was talking to Andy,

And he's offering to give you a ride to the wedding in about a year.

Oh, you're going to get married?

Yeah, I know, exactly.

In May of 2009, you've got a long time.

But he said he'll give you a ride.

He's the best man.

He'll pick you up in Illinois.

He'll give you a ride down to the bachelor party and the wedding.

So you're invited, all right?

Okay.

He's letting you know now.

And Lonesome Loser's going to try to make it.

Milkman's going to be there.

Andy's going to be there.

We're going to have one big great show.

That's right.

and Zolar's invited so far,

and Lego's invited so far.

Zolar said he's interested in either hosting it

or coming down,

and I'm sure Lego will come down,

so we're going to have a big show,

and it's probably going to be

the last Madhouse radio show ever.

Oh, come on.

I'm serious.

You've got over a year.

What the fuck?

You've got five plus 12.

What's that?

You've got 17 months' worth of shows still.

Come on, it's almost a year and a half.

maybe I will

maybe I'm just

being a kid

married life

didn't stop

a lego from

that's true

maybe she'll

leave me or

something I don't

know you never

know what's

gonna happen

you know maybe

I'll go crazy

and end up in

jail then I

won't do

anything

hey man thanks

for that thought

I appreciate

that I'm gonna

sleep well

tonight

um here we

go we got

Irish Italian

says yo Carlito

I'm probably

your only

listener in

Italy

our only

listener we

have an

Italian listener

holy shit

all right

Hi, man.

All right.

I'm an 18th Italian or something.

I don't know.

Sorry to hear the show was going to end so early, but that call at the steak place was kick-ass.

Good luck with the exam tomorrow, dude.

Thank you, signore.

Thank you.

If Ted was here paying attention, I don't know, he would say something in Italian,

but apparently he's still out there cleaning brownies off the ground like last time.

Ted, are you back yet?

Fucking his cat.

How did you know that, Ted?

You got a camera in his house, don't you?

Yeah.

Toledo.

Dead says Carlito's coming too

So cool man

I mean DTT's coming too

We're going to have a hell of a show Milkman

It's going to be an awesome time

I know I'm coming

I'm coming right now

No I'm coming right now

So that makes a good show

You want to call England

I've got James Bond or David Maude

I don't know

James Bond

Raleigh England James Bond

This is live

This is Madhouse Radio, the last prank call of the night.

Everybody, listen, the last prank call of the night.

Please, I'm holding you to it.

We'll be right back after this, one moment.

Milkman is on a job.

Call Nunu.

Good call, Nunu.

Mr. Fuji.

Who gets a gold star?

His first one ever.

Congratulations, Nunu.

We could do it.

One moment.

She used to talk like that, guys.

Who the hell, that old...

I forgot her name now.

Tuck Hepburn.

In the morning.

Two stars.

Tuck Hepburn, that's right.

Tuck wins the night with two gold stars.

I don't know, I'll give him two for that.

That's funny.

Catherine Hepburn

No you know

What

It is

Tonight

Oh that was funny man

Good work

You get off my line

Alright see

Thanks to them man

For calling in

We'll talk to you next week man

We'll be tired that night

We'll have a whole ceremony

Dancing

I'll dance with you

At the wedding

Close though

Close dancing

Close

We'll touch it to go

I mean you're gonna

Make it hard for me

You know that song

You're making it hard for me

When I get so excited

we're replaying your call

so you're gonna be like

so you're gonna be hard in your pen

that's it

miss the replay

take care man

milkman I forgot about that

I should have replayed that

damn it

it's too late now

you can't get off my line

there's no end to this

that was funny man

that was good

yeah so Will's checking in

but Will

yeah I'm sorry Will

you're listening for the first time in a while

but I'm leaving now

cause I gotta be up really early tomorrow

for my examination

my final

with. My first of two finals,

but Big Wilf is checking in.

He's going to try to come in next week, he says.

Yeah, that's good.

Will's in the studio again, man. About time to see him

back. That's good. Fall says we're going to

touch wieners while dancing. Very good, Fall.

Very good. That's correct. How'd you know?

How the hell did you know, girl?

You are so

smart, girl.

She is so smart. That girl's

so smart. That girl's so smart. Anyway,

we're out of here. Milkman, take us out of here, my friend.

It's time. It's go time.

it's time is that time already oh my goodness thank you all our friends out there for tuning in

our good friend ted webb here in ascension providing us with this wonderful team speak

that we all thank you so much ted point of our mars i also like to thank all our friends out

here to join us here in the chat room we got a bunch of good friends out there lonesome losers

the man this all happened thank you so much bless you fearless lonesome loser

or make mail with a hitman number like to also thank you brandon vegas first time long time

seeing you in a long time welcome back my friend i'm glad you're here daryl fall folly folly mcfall

thank you so much for joining us game greens welcome back good to see you killer pay hey

long time no see man good to see you token a or cocaine whatever um i will be talking to you soon

in the forum area man always good to see you man long standing member of course okay representative

dear nunu of the man cam thank you so much pajama john excellent call man i'd like to thank you

also jonathan thanks for calling in repo wise for all of you other friends out there that i did not

mention i did not forget i love you all we love you here in the madhouse i especially want to

to thank you, our fearless leader, the Generalissimo of the Madhouse, Carlito, for making this

all possible.

Good.

I love you, bro.

All right, good.

It's all about you, our listeners.

We love you.

We do this every week for you at no charge to you.

We pay greatly.

Carlito paid $1,000 this month to keep the show on and making my donations as well.

So we do love you because we do this all for you.

Thank you so much for tuning in, and keep yourself posted on the Madhouse site.

There's a lot of new things happening, and spread a rumor,

Jim Stewart lives, but don't miss the Madhouse, because you never know.

He is a member of the Madhouse, and he makes it appear.

He's now being traced by AT&T Security and the Call Tracing Network.

You will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

As Jim Stewart is still on the run from AT&T Security, he's almost lost the trail.

Thank you, Milkman.

Very good.

Very well put, everything.

Thank you, as always.

You do a good job.

Take our lead out really quickly.

Yes, sir.

4 o'clock, new time for Revolutic on Sunday afternoons, prankcall.info radio.

That's right, prankcall.info.

Tuck, moving to a new start time, a special time.

No, it's a new start time, I guess.

4 p.m. Eastern on prankcall.info.

Congratulations.

Very good show.

Be sure to everybody check that out for Sunday's afternoon.

Sunday.

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday.

And, of course, tomorrow night, Zolar will be on with his Zolar Vision coordination.

Now, seriously, Zolar Vision is on tomorrow night at 10 p.m. Eastern Standard Time.

That is 7 p.m. Pacific here on SyndicateRadio.tv.

SyndicateRadio.tv, make it happen.

All right.

Be sure to catch all the programming on Syndicate Radio whenever you can.

There is a show every night.

That's right.

Zolar does a good show.

Zolar is madhouse approved.

I'd like to thank Zolar, of course, and Dino, letting us on this Syndicate stream,

and all the people over there tonight, DTT, Sidekick Chuck, Sidekick Chuck's in there I saw earlier, Spike Mike,

all of you kids, thank you very much for having us on.

All right, well, other than that, I guess that's it.

Wish me luck on my exams.

I will talk to you guys next week for the next installment.

That'll be December the 13th.

And this episode will be on the podcast, I estimate, in about two months.

So, yeah, all right, good for that.

Exciting.

Hey, man, good luck with the test in there, man.

I know you'll be looking forward to being a good thing.

Dude, I'll tell you what.

I went today to go take my test.

I got a window from Monday until Saturday to take this first exam,

and the other one I have until the other Monday, until this coming Monday.

Anyway, so I go there.

I get to the building.

I park on campus.

I walk about, you know, a long time to get to this building

where they have this computer lab set up for you to take your test.

there is a line going out like through the whole it's a huge building and there's a line that's

snaking all inside like it's disney world man i'm like what the hell i said forget that it was a two

hour line to take your exam so i was like you know what i'm just gonna go take it tomorrow

i don't feel like standing in line i get out of work tomorrow at four you gotta be kidding me

yeah i have i have until 6 30 to start the test i'll get there at about 4 30 and i'll give myself

two hours to take it i'm gonna forget that i'm i'll be damned if i'm gonna stand in that line

At the worst of the darn chicken sale, it can peck you fried chicken right here on St. Croix.

Yeah, I know.

I know what it is, man.

You know, black people like chicken.

You're out of line.

You've got to be kidding me.

I know.

So, yeah, there was a line to take my test.

I said, fuck that.

I'll take it tomorrow.

Why am I talking about this?

I don't know.

I'm going to sleep.

Good night, everybody.

We'll catch you next week.

Thank you.

I think you, Chuck, the Warrior, Ted, Brandon Vegas, Milkman, Lonesome Loser, and yes.

Revolution.

MadhouseLive.com.

Madhouse Radio is live Thursday nights at 10 p.m. Eastern.

Why don't you shut the hell up?

Fuck you! Fuck you fucking penis! Yes!

Be sure to visit us online at madhouselive.com.

Calls (7, 20 min of 1 h 2 min)

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