2008-01-03 Show

What happens in America?

Well, we steamed your ass in World War II.

What do you have to...

Who ever did?

And who helped you out just now?

You piss off, woman.

Don't talk to me like that.

We don't need you anyway, bitch.

Son of a bitch.

Call me a stinky, stinky fucker.

You are listening to the Madhouse Radio Podcast.

Hey, everybody.

What's up?

What's up, everybody?

Sorry about that.

Madhouse Radio's back on.

Right.

Everybody, we're ready to do a show.

Milkman is not present at the time.

He's having some computer problems.

We're having problems with the TeamSpeak,

So our normal conference is not working right now, unfortunately.

It sucks, huh?

Hopefully we get that fixed soon.

Milk and milk in a short while.

Recorded live.

Brandon Vegas is joining in.

What's up, Brandon?

Tell me you can hear me at least.

Hello.

All right, good.

Brandon's listening.

Okay, so we're here.

We're ready to do a show.

Everybody, if you're ready, you know how to get a hold of us tonight.

You can reach me, Carlito.

This is Madhouse Radio on AOL and Yahoo Instant Messenger's Madhouse Radio.

Sorry, I lost my temper, AMD.

It's been a rough day.

Milkman is here.

Milkman, what's going on?

It's your turn.

Just in time.

As always, a four-time Domino Champion of the Virgin Islands.

Milkman is here.

What's up, man?

Hey.

It's my brother, my fellow leader, the Madhouse.

Thank you so much for having me back.

I'd like to say happy New Year, 2000.

All our friends down here across the planet, every man, every age,

ready for some kick-ass fun and a new year of new surprises

because we've got a lot of fun coming at you, don't we, Big Guy?

Yeah, we do. We do have a lot of fun, a lot of fun times, a lot of good times.

It is a new year. It is 2008, and we made it through to 2008.

Promises to be a fun year. Merry Christmas to everybody.

I haven't been on since before Christmas, man.

That is a long time, so it's good to be back.

As I said before, AOL, Yahoo, Messenger users, Madhouse Radio, and if you're using MSN Messenger, MadhouseLive at Hotmail.com.

You can also be sure to visit MadhouseLive.com if you missed those.

You can find our different ways to contact us and subscribe to the podcast and whatnot, all that stuff.

Listen to our pranks, listen to our shows.

Also be sure to listen to Syndicate Radio, SyndicateRadio.tv, the official sponsor of the first hour of the show.

Seriously, Syndicate Radio has us on. We love you, Syndicate.

I've got to get on the ball.

I'm going to be running the podcast for Syndicate here shortly,

so all you Syndicate hosts who are listening now,

make sure that you can get a hold of me as soon as you can so we can get that handled.

I've got to go into the Syndicate forums and get all the instructions out to the hosts

who want to be involved in doing a podcast.

It's been really successful for Madhouse,

and I expect it to be even more successful for the venerable stable, which is Syndicate Radio.

And me and Milkman both are very happy to be a part of Syndicate Radio.

That's right.

Hey, thanks a lot.

All you guys over there, you guys are doing a great job.

That's right.

Thank you.

All right, good.

Oh, man.

Those feel good, don't they?

Yeah.

All right, so if you want to, oh, yeah, also we're on the mouth.

Wow.

98.6 the mouth.

Milkman, what is that toll-free line, brother?

Hey, man, I'll tell you what.

We got you dined.

You just give us a time, and you dial up 888-278-8509.

That's 888-278-8509.

And bring the show live.

Wow, that's really choppy.

We shouldn't have upped the codec because you're actually choppy now.

Anyway, it's 888-278-8509 is what Milkman tried to say.

And, yeah, maybe we can run it in half.

Back off my game a little bit.

That's probably my fight.

Maybe if we go down to 26, it'll sound good, but it'll be not as choppy.

Because you sounded good on the slower codec, to be honest with you.

You sounded better than this.

I'd rather have you not as high bandwidth.

Well, I think my mic guy had been a little bit hot.

So I'm going to back it off a little bit and see how that works.

Damn it.

I'm getting bad news here.

Apparently Zolar, and I tried to make it on here as soon as I could,

but apparently we lost our feature on the Syndicate webpage

because the cam was not up in time.

That sucks.

Damn it, man.

I screwed up big time.

I'm probably going to be fired from Syndicate now.

And it was good running with you all.

Sorry, man.

It's over.

Anyway, so we're here, as I said, tonight.

I don't see Lonesome Loser anywhere.

That's not a good sign.

But I'm sure that we have a show to do nonetheless.

Yeah, here's a zero.

It's a zero and something.

Who do we have in here now?

See, we have Tuck.

We have AMD.

Let me turn AMD on now.

AMD, it's been a long time since we've talked to you, brother.

How are you doing?

Hello, Kali.

How are you doing?

in good man man oh you haven't heard from you haven't heard you sound great right now and i

haven't heard from you in like a year brother it's good to see you thank you good to hear from you

how's it been a while it's been a while but i'm uh back here and i've got two ladies with me as

well hang on say hello ladies hey so yeah ladies they popped down they had to say hello so you

know good oh hi ladies hey hey hey all right nothing wrong with ladies okay so they're

They're having a tickle fight over there.

Watch out.

Hey, not much.

How are you?

We're good over here.

I'm sorry, ma'am.

Excuse me.

Just want to announce here, for those of you who care,

96% of the caucuses are in from the Iowa caucus today.

Barack Obama is taking the Iowa caucus with a 38% vote.

John Edwards, number two, with 30%.

And surprisingly, Hillary Clinton with a 29% result.

That's with 96% of the results in.

of the polls, 96% of the precincts reporting.

So apparently Barack is moving on to commanding lead

in the beginning of the primaries for the 2008 decision, 2008.

And I understand that CNN has projected Mike Huckabee

on the Republican side to take the caucus in Iowa.

So the frontrunners at this time are Mike Huckabee and Obama.

I'm happy with Barack Obama taking the Democratic nomination,

So that is good news, nonetheless.

Although I probably will be boycotting the Florida Democratic primary this year

because I'm not happy with the Democratic Party right now.

I believe I will be boycotting them.

So there's your news.

News break.

There you go.

That's the news.

Political politics, you know, Armando.

It's a sad thing.

Yeah, yeah, well.

Hey, you know what I saw today?

Have you ever seen the documentary or heard of it?

Either of you, AMD, anybody here, Milkman?

The Smartest Guys in the Room.

It's the story of Enron.

You ever heard of that?

Seen it?

Heard of it?

It's a good documentary.

Never, man.

That ought to be exciting.

Yeah, well, check it out.

Check it out.

It's good.

It's a very good deal.

Very good deal.

Is that the real Reclude?

Well, I always forget everything everywhere, you know.

Yeah, yeah.

Reclude, if that's you, send me a message on Yahoo real quick.

Confirm if you're in.

I'm happy to have you if you are.

We're going to start doing some pranks here in a moment.

Lonesome Loser is checking in.

Lonesome Loser's online.

The hardest working man.

Yay!

The hardest working man in the kingdom of prank calls is Lonesome Loser.

You can reach him at LonesomeLoser.com.

And he has sent in numbers already for the Super...

And he's having a rough week, dude.

I'm having a rough week, too, man.

I know what you're talking about, but it's time to let it go.

We have Superstition Farm.

We have Fuddruckers Restaurant.

Fuddruckers, those are some good-ass burgers.

Build your own burger at Fuddruckers, everybody.

But if you have a Fuddruckers near you, I recommend you go there.

Build yourself a big-ass burger, pile it on with all that shit.

Fuddruckers.com.

That's F-U-D-D-R-U-C-K-E-R-S.com.

Hollywood's.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Slow down here, Carlos.

Woody's Old Fashioned Burgers.

And we also have, rounding out the top four at the beginning of the show,

Lucky Duck Pizza in Deming, New Hampshire.

Excellent.

Any announcements, Milkman?

Anything going on?

We've been off for two weeks since we last did the last show.

So it was two weeks ago.

Did you have anything you wanted to talk about or announce real quickly here

before we start getting into prank calls?

Anything we should discuss?

I'd like to announce a wonderful season of the Madhouse,

the new 2008 series of shows.

Look out because we've got lots of prizes going on for you guys here.

Me and the Big Ed Armando have got some major plans coming.

So you guys do not fail to tune in every Thursday for some wild fun.

Yes.

Milkman has some good plans for us this year.

We're excited about that.

We'll just see where they go.

Okay, so other than that, I think it's time to do prank calls.

Getting a nice echo from AMD.

That's what I'm talking about.

All right, let's call this Fuddruckers Restaurant.

Jack Masterson, I think, is in the mood for Fuddruckers.

This is in Littleton, Colorado, the high school homicide capital of the world, Littleton, Colorado.

And the place is Fuddruckers.

The show is Madhouse Radio.

And you are stepping in it.

A lot of girl giggling over there.

What's going on? You guys diddling yourselves over there?

Tell me, what's a play-by-play, AMD?

What's going on? You sucking on nipples?

Well, I've got two birds on my bed.

Two birds?

Two birds on my bed, and, you know, they seem a bit mad.

But, like I say, you know, they're up for anything.

I've just seen if there's anybody, anybody they didn't like,

they want to prank tonight, but they can't really think of anybody.

Anyone, girls?

Are they kicking around?

Why not?

Come on, girls.

Well, I've got a load of the UK numbers if you want to do that.

Uh, Milkman, I'll PM you the, uh, list if you want it again.

Excellent, yes.

And confirm the numbers you have for the UK.

We are going to salt.

Well, I've got all four more than everything,

so give me a minute, and I'll PM you it through MSN, all right?

I'm excited about that.

All right, everybody, take it easy.

Take it easy.

All right, Fuddruckers coming up.

First prank of the night.

Fuddruckers, this is Allie.

How can I help you?

Hello?

Fuddruckers?

Yes, sir?

Question.

You guys have those all-you-can-eat burgers, right?

No.

What I heard you guys you can go in and you have all you can something special. No, sir

We have the sliders

Little tiny burgers and you can order four six or eight of them or more. It's just for the workers

Yes, sir. You don't have to build your own burger. You can make it really big

So what

We have ketchup

Um, pico de gallo.

Pico de gallo.

Funny, funny.

We'll have our, uh, flood cheeses.

Alright, so I'm gonna, I wanna make a hamburger, I'm gonna build my own burger.

I wanna have three.

Okay, wait one second, let me, are you gonna.

Three.

Are you making an order?

Yeah.

Okay, let me transfer you to someone real fast.

Who you transferring to?

Um, somebody that's at the cashier.

That's a satisfied burger connoisseur with a perfect mix of tangy.

Get your hamburger.

burger. I don't know if anybody's ever seen the movie Idiocracy. Hello? Hey, is this the

one? Have you seen the movie Idiocracy? There's a funny reference to Fuddruckers in it. Be

sure to check that out. If you like Office Space, you will like Idiocracy. If you loved

Office Space, you will like Idiocracy. That's an honest assessment of the movie. It's by

I'm by Matt Judge, who made Office Space as well as King of the Hill.

All right, what can I get for you, sir?

Is this the order department?

Yes, sir.

Is this the one I talked to earlier?

Yes, sir.

Can I apologize that I, you know, as I am talking, so I wasn't trying to use those.

You got your pen and paper handy?

Sir.

You ready to take down some water?

Sir.

All right.

Okay, I want for pound patties or how big are they?

Yes.

I would like three half pound patties.

Pound, okay.

How would you like those cooked?

Medium well.

Medium well?

Hang on. Hang on a second.

Okay.

I weigh 382 pounds, so I don't like you.

Can you say that one more time, please?

Uh-huh.

I work for Wuhan.

Mr. Action's really bad. Let me put you on hold real fast and move to a different phone, because that might be mine.

No, I'm just eating.

I almost just choked on pizza.

I'm fine there, Milkman. What's going on? You're quiet.

Fucker.

I'm ready to go somewhere quick. I'm going to hang up.

Thanks for holding. This is Elizabeth. How can I help you?

Hi, Elizabeth. How are you?

Wonderful. How are you doing today?

I think, I was talking to someone, but she didn't know how to use the phone.

She was saying she was having difficulty hearing you.

Oh, because I was eating when I was talking to her.

What was that supposed to mean?

Chewing, they can't...

I can't hear you.

I can't understand you clearly.

Can you hear me?

Okay.

Take my order.

Because I'm Bill Burger, you guys make this big deal, so don't give me any guff.

Don't give me any, don't get snippy, like my friend Dr. Lego would say.

I got, like, cheddar cheese, one slice of cheddar cheese,

American cheese in between the two, like, you know, two of those in between the patties.

Come here, I come.

Come here, I'm supposed to accommodate.

I actually play golf with him, Mr. Fuddrucker.

You sound like you have big teeth.

How big are the choppers?

I think you have like an overbite.

I can tell over the phone you have a nasty overbite.

You probably wanted to play the clarinet and couldn't because of your overbite,

so they had to put you on the drums, didn't they?

I know these things.

I'm Jack Masterson.

I play golf with Mr. Fuddrucker, Mr. McDonald's, and Mrs. Burger King.

I'm important.

I knew you were going so far.

Does it bother you when I chew on the phone?

She's out. I went into the office so I could hear you better. I'm the man.

You sound so hot, man. You sound really good.

How old are you? You're 78?

I got, you know, my first sexual experience when I was 64 years old. I was 17.

I was doing, um, indie service on wheels.

So, now she gave me a pass. So, we're cool though, right?

You know I've been into you, right?

Don't want to do anything about it still. Why do you keep denying?

Don't do it. Just let's do what me and you need to do.

Gotta jump on it, baby. Get on it.

Phone out because I'm calling the shots.

Because I call the shots. That's right. You do as I say.

You're the man.

Alright, lady.

all right i'm not gonna eat on the on the air anymore i'm sorry that's kind of rude i really

hate i have a pet peeve of hearing people chew loudly so i promise i won't do that anymore

oh that's wonderful man i thought it'd be fun for the show not i thought it'd be fun fun for

these purposes here hope you guys enjoyed that that was the first prank call in two weeks that

we've done here not bad at all i seriously almost choked on a piece of pizza in the process of that

all right having a good time we have a lot of uh we got a lot of international numbers i see

milkman you have them from amd i also have some here from my lonesome loser so we're going to be

calling those here in a moment we got an international card also sent you one here

this is a confirmed one as well let's see jamie torque in england excuse me uh his name is jamie

he's from torquay torquay torquay inland it looks like the town it looks like tor gay

yeah almost very close uh who else we got okay okay we also got ada rossi

We're not looking for a party.

We've got H. Heil Marino in Italy.

And we have Bruno Bernardo in Italy.

And we have Fritz Himmler and Dieter Bondfield in Berlin, Germany.

Seriously, Lulz and Luce is coming in with Italian and German numbers.

I don't know.

How are our rates to those countries?

Oh, my God.

Those wouldn't be too bad.

Hopefully, they'll speak English.

So as long as he's confirming their English ones, we ought to have a little bit of fun with them.

I'm sure he is.

He's probably asking stuff in English.

Or a German girlfriend.

Man, I hope I pass my drug test today.

Hey, I've been practicing my German, too.

Oh, good.

Good.

I've been practicing my Italian, so we're good to go.

All right.

So let me call this one you sent me.

Hey, what's up, man?

Hey, good.

Everybody else out there, if you want to send us a prank request, we do those for you tonight for free.

You can private message me that in the chat room right here.

Here, if you're in the chat room right now, you see me, hey, it's me.

Send me a private message with your prank call request.

You can call in if you want.

Again, the toll-free line is 1-888-278-8509.

And you can also message us on Madhouse Radio if you're on AOL or Yahoo Instant Messenger.

And if you're on MSN Messenger, Madhouse Live at Hotmail.com.

Or go to MadhouseLive.com, the home page, and send us a prank request.

request right there on the front page you will see where it says request a prank you click on

that you fill out the information it comes here to my desktop and we have money fun haha as we do

the call all right amd are you there uh explain to me about this guy uh jamie what what's his deal

he's he's in a band it's called rockology is that the name of it yeah he's in a band uh basically

so i was drinking with him about um half an hour ago he just went home and he's um he's a mate of

mind i do this website but he's he's a right wine that merchants and he annoys me to hell

and um basically you know he should be up now and um he's well he's he's so so um he's got a big

edge so try if you can do it just try and wind him up um but you want to book him for a gay party

and take it from there like you know do you mind taking your clothes off and stuff like that he

should be up because um i was with him just about half an hour ago in the pub awesome awesome hey

Hey, we got Recklet on the line, folks.

I didn't even know the phone was ringing.

Hey, hang on.

Hey, guys, Recklet's on the line.

Pay some respect.

Dude, what's going on, man?

You're on the line for this or just...

Rod's involved.

I'm not going to bring in fucking...

Snitches.

Snitches get, you know, stitches and sleeping ditches, man.

Yeah, most of the people I know are fucking drunk.

At least recreational users.

I can't unless they got to, you know, get out of something.

Yeah, shits love me.

Yeah?

Yeah, one time the alarm went off.

Shit, but, uh, shit on the table.

And I accidentally, like, left it down there.

The cops searched the whole place.

Well hey man

You're doing a service

To the community

Whatever the hell it is man

Oh yeah

It's just a little conversation

Goes a long way

You know

There was this one guy

They got a bunch of

Rods in the forest

Whatever

They're doing their duty

Oh yeah dude

That's cool

Oh yeah

Hey we got a

We got a dude

You're in the music business

We got a guy

Who has a rock band

Called Rockology

His name is Jamie

He's in

Where is he

In England

We're going to call England

If you want

Um

Okay

Yeah

I'm going to send you

The details here in a second

I've got plenty of info

Yeah, give me a couple details, I'll tell them I'm some bullshit producer and all that

There you go

What a party

Yeah, no problem, it's Rod

It's Jamie Darling

That's just a disaster

It is a disaster

Hey, I've done their website, it's not that bad

Hang on, hang on, reclude

Yeah, it's Jamie Darling

Jamie Darling, okay

He plays with Rod, that's his guitarist

What does he do now?

He plays acoustic rock and stuff like that

He's a rocker, he's got a couple of other bands, but he plays in Torquay

he's a mate of mine

I'm always winding him up

so basically he's got

just say that you saw him on

rockologyinfo.co.uk

that's his site

that I've done for him as well

so just say that you want to book him for some kind of gay party

just basically

AMD

what's the website again say it slowly

ok it's www.rockologyinfo.co.uk

and just say that you've had a look on there.

rockology.info

No, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

It's rockologyinfo, one word.

I just sent it to you.

AMD, I sent it to him.

He's got rockology.

Yeah, no, it's rockologyinfo.

Oh, yeah.

.co.uk

Oh, God, it's horrible.

And there's nothing wrong with that site

because I built it.

He's an old roadie for fucking...

I built that site,

so there's nothing wrong with it.

All right, AMD,

AMD who's on the line,

he says he built the site, so...

Oh, I'm sorry.

He's got some birds or something over there, he says.

Oh, that's right, some beds.

We call them broads over here.

We can twist the words around and add a couple.

That's a...

Chicks.

All right, broads.

Broads is cool.

Broads is classy.

All right, what is it?

What the hell...

Torquay.

Yeah, they've got the right side.

Okay, all right, well, let's...

You're on the right side, definitely.

Okay, well, let's quit dilly-dallying here.

Let's call the, uh, let's call the shit.

Recklood, you, uh, research what we get to call on here, all right, man?

hang on everybody

if he doesn't answer

the first one

keep trying him

because he'll answer

gotcha man

the Vodafone

voicemail service

407

wow that didn't work

hold on two seconds

let me just try him up

yeah try it again

no no

give me a second

I'll give him a ring now

no that broad

give me a minute

I'll give him a ring now

hang on

these broads back there

gotta start doing something

AMD make sure you got

your headphones on there man

because it's coming back

really bad

in the meantime

we're going to call

we're going to try to call Italy

or I can try to call Germany.

Let me send you some numbers.

Oh, dude, I can speak Italian, dude.

Oh, shitball.

Call Italy.

All right, I'm going to send you what I got from Lonesome.

You tell me which one you want to hit up.

We got New Zealand here also coming in from Lonesome Loser as well.

Okay.

Oh, shit, this is too freaking long.

Are you in the chat room?

Is that you in the chat?

Directly, yeah.

You are, right?

Okay, cool.

Let me send that to you directly then.

Hang on.

I wasn't sure.

I didn't want to send you sensitive information.

There you go.

You should have got that right now.

Whole list of them.

Shit.

Yeah, yeah.

in the chat private message you oh okay let's see what we got here we're gonna skin

you want uh ada rossi you want to do that one first hi guys

uh where are we at i've just got i've just got all the jamie okay so rossi said right yeah okay

okay we're gonna call ada rossi and then we're gonna do these number next hang on amd don't go

anywhere man we'll do that next we're gonna call italy first no worries i've just got hold of him

he's up he didn't know the number so he thinks i'm calling him back so he's gonna pick up next

Next time, okay?

Got it, man.

No problem.

The conference is now locked.

God damn it.

It did it again.

Podcast recording has been completed.

This is Ada Rossi in Rome, Italy.

Is it Rome?

Yeah.

Roma, Italia.

Picked up, but didn't do nothing.

All right.

Let me call Akon Marino.

All right.

We're going to call the...

I hear Milkman and AMD are both reporting that the band guy is available now.

Jamie's available, so let's try him again.

Yes, that's right.

I've just rung in.

You just rung in.

I've just rung in two seconds ago.

And he thinks he's got a booking.

All right, so good.

He's expecting a booking.

He's expecting a call for a booking, all right?

So we're good to go.

He is indeed.

So if you want to play it all the way, he's going to answer now in a minute.

Yeah, well, we'll see.

I can't talk, so I'll turn the mic up and turn the mic off, and the speaker's up.

So listen, guys, wind him up the fuck, all right?

He is on Honest to God.

I just spoke to him.

All right, well, let's call one more.

I just spoke to him a couple of seconds ago.

Bro, he is definitely on.

I'm next, maybe.

I cleared the line.

Oh, fuck, that's right.

You leave the messages.

Fuck, I always forget that shit.

No, that's forgettable.

He leaves the best messages.

Yeah, Bruno's the best of the messages.

He's always telling people, you got VD, you got VD.

All right, so, okay, we also got Bruno Bernardo here.

We can try in Italy, in Roma, Rome.

Yeah, any Italians, I'd love to get a first in on that.

Yeah, you know what I heard the other day?

I heard a replay of the show where we called Dubai.

We called it Burger King.

You remember that one?

Yeah.

I heard that the other day.

That shit's funny.

That guy was like a homo too

Yeah he was all into it

Where was he

He was from

From Burma

Burma

He said he was Burmese

Or something

Really

Something weird

I don't know

Something weird

Nepal

He was not Nepalese

Yeah

He was all about it

That was funny

Okay

Okay here we go

Here we go with

Bruno Bernardo in Rome

Hey

It smells like

It sounded funny though

We got to talk to them to test them.

They're so cool.

Yeah, they think they're so cool with their fancy cars.

We got a German.

We got Germans.

Spain coming in.

Yeah, okay.

Here's one.

We got Juliette Napoleon in France.

Paris, France.

Well, I'll tell you what.

Let's call the German.

I can German.

Did you get the Germans there when I sent them to you?

Did you get Fritz Himmler?

Fucking.

Wait a minute.

Yeah, I just said it's the wrong one.

Yeah, you should see.

Let me see here.

Okay, hold on a sec.

Himmler.

Himmler, yeah.

Isn't that the...

Oh, jeez.

Wasn't he the German fucking General Himmler?

It was a bastard, that guy, Himmler.

Let me try to speak my best German.

I got, like, bitch.

You ever use that?

Yeah, the translator.

It comes out so wrong.

It comes out so wrong, dude.

I need you to report to me.

Tell him to report for ethnic cleansing.

See if he says anything.

All right.

All right, so here's Fritz Himmler and Dieter Bonfeld

and Lachsmidstern Berlin, Germany,

wherever the hell that is.

Lachsmidler.

I don't know what the hell.

or the show here's germany and uh yeah we kick their asses remember that folks we'll be right

back after this next prank call of the night coming up here in a moment

we got eight hours to this number man pretty good eight hours in germany

It's Bracken English.

Do you speak English?

Okay.

This is the operator.

I'm connecting you to a man from the United States.

Okay.

You must need what train to take to the educational center.

Sorry, I'm here in Berlin.

Yeah, we are coming to Berlin.

We are coming for the show.

My name is Afield.

What's that?

Afield.

Yes.

We are taking the train to the educational center.

We would like to know if we have free coffee, judge,

and we would like to know if you want to come down.

It's all free.

Oh, no, no, no.

Thank you.

We're having a church.

Say it something.

They all speak English, apparently.

Let's try to call...

I'm going to call Gert.

I think I dialed it wrong.

It says, ask him about the sausages.

That's funny.

What's that?

Ask him about the sausages.

That's what Milkman says.

All right, hang on.

Reckless, anything while I dial the number here?

I'm not going to mess up.

Oh, hey, stalker.

You girt my hair.

Sounds like a pet name for jizz.

That's a good line.

I like that.

Ask him if he calls his penis Gert.

Dirt my Gert.

Come on, big Gert.

I'm Klaffy and I'm Kierkegaard.

What the hell is going on with these?

We're trying.

AMD, what's the status?

You think this guy's going to pick up this third time for real?

This is the last chance.

What do you think, man?

Oh, shit.

Hang on.

I got someone sent in a request.

Yeah.

For a number.

AMD, you there, man?

Yeah, I'm here now.

I'm just ringing his mobile now.

What's the request?

No, the fucker's turned it off.

He's turned it off?

No, he's locked it.

So he's not going to pick up now.

He's not going to.

He did.

I told him he had a gig, and he was going like,

why have I got a gig in the morning?

But I said, look, these guys are really serious.

So no, he ain't going to pick up now.

We've got some hotel numbers he can give us for Carly.

AMD's sending the hotels.

Reclute, I've got a number in England here we can try.

Aval West in Essex, England.

Aval West.

Aval just sent it to you in the chat, the IRC.

Oh, that's a name.

I hope it's not the fucking CIA and shit.

whatever they call it

well that's your phone

I don't care

wait it's whatever

it's my phone

it's my problem

not yours

don't worry about it

what are you fucking

worried about

call the FBI

come on let's do it

call them

come on call them

break new ground

yeah let's do that

how about that

alright hang on

naval west

20 UK wake up calls

I've got a big list of them

send them in

the conference

is now unlocked

worded

live

here we go

your royal family

listen we don't have

an important house

so listen to what

we're gonna do

You're making a joke.

I'm 40, so I want someone to give us a great guy.

It's so funny.

I can't hear you.

What the fuck is he saying?

What's wrong?

Down in dollars and what's...

I don't know.

I don't know who he is.

Listen.

He's taking to Mr. West.

You're making a joke.

Wait.

Hold on a second.

Wait a minute.

What's going on now?

You're for West, right?

Taking to...

Thomas Phineas.

Thomas...

I gather.

You're the queen, right?

You're drinking?

May you and joint upper England and the U.S.

The royal family is involved, and that's why we need to get...

I'm going to leave this house tomorrow.

I'm going home tomorrow.

No, no, no.

We're talking about ours.

Tomorrow we won't need...

Okay, calm down, calm down.

Listen, mother is, right?

Yeah.

Okay, well, the queen mother's not quite...

I can't let out the house.

That's next door.

Okay, what's...

You from Brazil?

I can't understand a word you're saying.

Are you a country, you...

I don't know what you're talking about.

It's 4 o'clock in the morning.

How can you lose the house when I got my wife in there?

Yeah, we got to do it fast.

You're doing too long to be a joke.

I'm getting serious.

You're doing too long to be a joke.

You cannot be a joke.

This hour, wake up somebody around.

You think I'm being funny?

Yeah.

I'm not being funny.

Get me neighbor.

What's it around?

Where are you coming from?

Your family is going to put a red card.

He did.

What the fuck was that?

What the fuck was that about?

That guy sounds like a...

What kind of fucking numbers did I get given you?

What did you know about him?

Is that one of the bro-

I don't know, that guy's like

He's like a fucking goat, dude

It's a joke, it's a joke, joke, joke

Where's he coming from?

I tell you what, that number, keep that number around

That guy's a fu-

I think we finally talked to our fri-

Yeah, I guess so, I guess they are slow in Britain

It's not like a retarded, Muslim, British guy

That's what he- yeah

It seemed like he was like

It seemed like he was a sand nigger too

See, he had a little sand nigger in him.

All right, cool.

What else we got here?

I want to say, if you're still listening,

boy, Jimmy from here in town, he's on vacation.

Get back on the messenger because I've got to give you some important information.

Get back on there and get a hold of me.

I've got to parlay some information regarding a job opportunity to you, my friend.

Get back online as soon as you can.

He was messaging me.

He got offline, but I think he's still listening still.

Who's that?

Just a friend of mine.

Don't worry about it.

Hey, I got that job, by the way.

Remember the one I was telling you I was trying to get?

I got it.

Start Monday.

Oh, yeah, there you go.

How many of them tests are you going to have to take?

I just took it now.

I took it, not now, but I took it today.

I went, like, four days without smoking and drank a case of water

and took a bunch of pills and Golden Seal.

I didn't eat it.

I don't know.

Well, that's good, then, man.

I couldn't imagine fucking even.

Yeah, it's hard.

Four days.

It's enough.

It's enough not doing it at fuck in the studio.

It doesn't matter.

People bring it over anyway.

I end up getting it.

There's no way around it.

The kind of job you do, I guess, there's no way around it.

It just happens.

Sucks.

What are you going to do?

What the hell?

Sucks.

Yeah, right.

All right.

So that sucks.

I bet you're crying.

Here's reclude being, you know, forced weed up on him.

Oh, no.

No, not that.

No.

I'm not that type of guy.

Yeah, right.

I got Tony Pope in Essex also if you want to stay on.

Filthy to the Pope?

Yeah.

All right.

So here comes Tony Pope in just a moment, folks.

Hang on.

Don't go anywhere.

The next prank call tonight.

I'm going to play that.

I'm going to go ahead and mention to everybody who's listening to us on Syndicate Radio,

Please be sure to click on the upper portion of the screen you're looking at if you have not yet.

And subscribe to the Syndicate channel so you can check out all the shows on here.

Of course, Zolar will be on tomorrow night.

Zolar Vision.

Be sure to check him out over at ZolarCast.com.

Zolar Vision on tomorrow.

Lots of fun times to be had.

Lots of good hosts.

Lots of stuff.

So be sure to stay tuned to Syndicate 24-7, motherfuckers.

And that prank call's coming up in just another second here.

Wash your dick and roll.

Gentlemen in the U.S. of A. that wants to...

Ready? One second.

W.C. Hold on a second.

What's up, man?

Like to run out of your drapes, you know what I'm saying?

You got any birds in there, old ladies or anything?

Uh, we got a panty cutter, so you don't have to worry about...

Too fresh with it without, uh, scissors, you know what I'm saying?

Right in, give it right in. In and out.

Snake oil sales, we got snake oil sales.

The snail's the old snake and, uh, makes it rise.

It's kind of like Viagra.

Got, uh, got more of a red one there.

I'm facing, what's going on there?

Say hello, it's crumpets.

You got crumpets with rays in them, what are you saying?

It's music, I like to go to the discotheques with the birds, with the bees, what do you think?

Ready?

Transport, what do we got?

What?

Sell you anything.

The slang I don't know is, we've got plots of, beautiful plots of land to sell you.

Pulling grass, you know what I'm saying?

You ever, you ever watch the western movies, the cowboy movies?

Horseback, it's right there, huge campus, all sorts of things.

They got, uh, young girls, you know, we got, uh, young boys, if you're into that.

It's like golfing, uh, horseback riding, just any of that.

Also, there's a free schooling for the young ones if you know if you can we have our schooling two years

You can get a BA in business of the and release to Massachusetts

Austin pulling you in you're trying to sell some land and

Scissors. Yeah, he man also got pain that goes to that sissy language

Listen, so we also got passes you know, we're just gonna start everything so be around a pin to that

When's the last time you banged a see or what? Do you like his music? He's this year

I'm gonna call the car unless you start. I've got that power. That's right

That's right, you guys have- they have them fucking, uh,

still ready.

Well, speak English.

Hey, me and you go down to the rink.

What's that?

Friends, you know, I'm sold, uh, drinks.

Come back to Nightstown and, you know, we'll just make up, you know, cause we had a-

If you know your history, you know, we had a-

years back, but we're trying to pa-

You don't think that-

Yeah!

I like what you guys like, we like things, so I figured, you know, we'll go over there and

Americans are like the British,

free, and everybody will be chanced to be an ambassador.

Of your gay-

Can you open yours? You have not-

Little love can go in Britain.

No, I'm talking about real, a ton of love.

I mean, they got great.

We'll just build one from here to you, you know, all the way from Boston.

I'd like to see a doctor if I was you, mate.

Doctor?

Mission number nine, we'll build one yours.

How about that?

You really want a head shrink?

You must have the internet.

You can't.

Angry, you're clearly.

We can't build a bridge from Iowa.

It's in the middle of the country.

What do you think?

I know you guys are a little bit bummed.

What we're going to do is we're going to concentrate on the waters.

Shovel?

You can't bring it back like the whole you can build a bridge with love

Like any American when he's hung the fuck off

You referred you to a doctor at one point

I know you guys are behind on the technology. I know that but we're damn idiots. Yeah. No, I'm sorry

I did a British people. Hey, I tell you what say well, I'm British walk-in. Hey, I'm breaking. I don't know

I'm British, don't be talking about my people that way.

I'm British, I'm Welsh, but yeah, I am from England.

I do live in England, I suppose.

One more real quickly, AMD's talking.

AMD's not happy that you made fun of British, you know what?

I live in North Devon.

Hey, listen, listen, you want to hear a joke?

What was it?

Not AMD, AMD.

Yeah, AMD, you guys can't hear each other.

You've got to remember that, AMD.

AMD, all right, let me be diplomatic here.

I'm sorry, but, you know, this is prank calls, you know,

and we're you know obviously we like the british and you know one of my fables is over there and

frickin i've been over there willy wonka's from over there except for nunu we can't find the things

that go on one thing that i don't mind they got a hot accent you got good desserts well i'm well so

it doesn't matter well all the way i just want to say you know i'll be diplomatic but i'm not

english i'm well give your uh give your brothers whatever the difference is between welsh and

English, I don't know, but whatever it is.

I know abroad from over there.

I chat with abroad from over there.

Hey, big difference.

Big, big, big difference.

That's pretty hot broad, but...

All right, hey, we got one more request here before I let you go.

We got a hotel in Italy where they definitely speak English, and there's a guy there called

Antonio, and he's a mommy, he's a mother's boy, a mama boy, mama's boy, you know what

I'm talking about?

Dude, everybody over there is fucking...

They live with their moms forever, from what I understand.

Oh, my God, until they're like 30-some.

Every broad I dated when I was living...

Hey, don't talk about my people that way.

Don't talk, hey.

I'm a 30-year-old boy.

I'm like, why?

Because I live with my fucking parents.

I'm like, how old are you?

She's like 30 fucking fucking.

I'm a 30-year-old boy.

I understand they live with their mothers until like the 30s and whatnot.

Let's get them.

All right, let's get them.

All right, so it's the La Petite Hotel in Rome.

Got it?

No, it's in Torino, from what I understand.

Torino, I believe.

Yeah, it's in Torino.

Not that.

All right, here comes that.

This is Italy, everybody, on 98.6 The Mouth,

syndicateradio.tv, and madhouselive.com.

Okay, you're asking for Antonio.

Hi, Reclute.

Hello.

Antonio's the guy.

I'm Daniel.

How much?

$10.

$9.

Son of a bitch.

No one hangs up on Reclute and Carlito.

Same thing.

For this, everybody, stand by.

through a hole so it's kind of like a whore so it's like a female pig so it's a freaking sense

all right one more time here the left petite hotel one more time before the break

all right man thanks for calling in recluse been a fun trip though i'm gonna go

fuck it all i'm gonna do i'm gonna find some drugs and do them all right man do them all

get them all smoke some drugs see you man all right reclude all right reclude everybody that

was fun wasn't it kids good deal go to hell i would like to remind everyone we're going to

take a break here in a moment but i would like to remind everybody coming up here at 12 midnight

night eastern standard time uh 11 to 9 p.m on the west coast we will have uh a show on syndicate

radio if you're listening on syndicate sub noise is coming up with a show i do not believe it has

a title for a show but he's coming up next on the syndicate network we are of course on uh prank

call that info still and we are of course also still on the mouth madhouse live.com uh we'll be

coming back after the break some more prank calls coming up next in the exciting second hour of the

the show. Are you guys off of mute? Who's on mute

right now? Everybody check in. Tad, you there?

Tad, welcome to the show, man. Tad?

Tad.

Hello.

Hello, Tad.

Tad, back from Chicago, of course.

How's it going? We're doing good.

We're having a good time here. Milkman is in the house,

of course. Milkman.

Brandon Vegas is here.

AMD is here.

AMD's here with the ladies.

Hello, buddy.

And Corey. Corey's here.

Who's Cory?

I have no idea who Cory is.

Hey, Cory.

Who are you?

What's your story?

Cory's.

Come on, man.

You don't remember me.

No, don't.

How are you?

Who are you, man?

PCU Radio.

Come on.

Ring a bell.

Yes, of course.

Cory from PCU Radio.

Awesome.

We don't know you.

Cory from PCU Radio is in the house.

Yes.

Yes, we can finally all enjoy the greatness, which is Cory from none other than PCU Radio

here in the house.

Yeah, dude.

Go, Corey.

All right, anyway.

Yes, Corey is also a co-admin of the team's base.

Oh, I got you.

Cool.

It was good to talk to him.

Excuse.

Excusez.

Okay, anyway.

So coming up in the second half of the show, we have Juliette Napoleon in France.

What else have we got?

What else have we got here?

We got Ian Dick.

We have the Rockin' Horse Dance Barn in Renton, Washington.

We also have the Lucky Duck Pizza.

We also have Woody's Old Fashioned Burgers that we didn't call earlier.

We'll get to that next.

And Frisco, Colorado.

That sounds crazy.

So, yeah.

If you guys want to call in, call in.

Do it.

1-888-278-8509 is the number where you can call us tonight.

1-888-278-8509.

If you are using AOL Instant Messenger or Yahoo Instant Messenger,

you can message me at Madhouse Radio.

Madhouse Radio if you're using AOL or Yahoo Instant Messenger.

And that is all.

Be sure to listen to Zolar Vision tomorrow night, zolarkast.com.

Zolar Vision tomorrow night, 10 p.m. Eastern Standard Time, 7 p.m. on the West Coast.

Good show, good time. Enjoy that.

And, yeah, so we're having a good time here, folks.

Send in your prank requests. We have lots of numbers to do still.

I've got information, as I said before, we have a number sent in from the Syndicate crew.

Carly, Carly has sent in a number for Josh and has given us a number that we can spoof back.

So, basically, we're going to make the caller ID look like it's someone else that they know.

And we're going to accuse them.

We're going to accuse the guy's girlfriend.

We're going to accuse Josh, Josh's girlfriend, of having cheated on him.

Coming up next on The Mouth.

So, be sure to check that out.

I mean, we're just excited.

We're going to go late tonight, I think.

We're going to have a good, long show.

I'm very excited about it.

So, please stay tuned.

If not, you know, keep listening in to the other shows that are on, you know, everywhere else.

It's all good.

It's all good in the hood.

We'll be back in about five minutes, everybody.

Please, thank you.

Nuts.

One more, please.

Thank you.

Thank you, bitch.

Thank you.

It's too doggone late.

Got to test the fuck in the spot with the extra fly.

For the day I die, I'm going to test the fuck in the spot.

This radio will be back right after this.

Don't tell me 40,000 people are coming in.

Not here.

I'll tell you how much it costs.

You're breaking my truck.

Be sure to visit us online at madhouselive.com.

Madhouse Radio will be back

right after this

Madhouse Radio's back everybody

good to see you Milkman

what I'm talking about

hey what are you saying brother

nothing much man

I got

I'm drinking

really good here bro

good yeah

what are you drinking now

you drinking some

Virgin Islands Ale

yeah man

I tried something

called Virgin Islands

Summer

I do

yeah man

I just got done

with the new castle veil and hey man thought i'd join in to the party good deal good deal it's me

here carlito yeah i just got a go ahead yeah man i just got a message um shout out opportunity for

mr uh amd you'd like to give a shout out please go for it amd yeah i wanted to say hello to uh

jenna my sexy lady i'll see you tomorrow so yeah jenna i will see you soon baby

My lady there, well, she's listening right now.

Jenna, girl.

Jenna.

Big Jenna.

All right, good.

Yeah, so it's Carlitos here, of course.

We got Milkman.

We got AMD.

We got Ted.

Ted, what's going on, man?

Make it heard.

What's up, Ted?

Brandon Vegas.

Corey.

Big Corey.

My sister's chihuahua.

His grandpa's own.

The legendary Corey from PCU is here.

All right.

Yeah, the person's not just got that.

Yeah, dude, that sucks, man.

I'm sorry you got that.

I would like to mention that Corey also has a level 70 character in the World of Warcraft.

Oh, my God.

You know, breaking news.

Milkman, stop the music if you could, please.

I have bad news.

All right, hold on.

Here you go.

Okay.

No, you got it already.

Thank you.

Okay, what's the problem now?

Here it comes.

I hear that Ted is involved in World of Warcraft.

That is horrible, Ted.

How could you?

How could you delve down that dark path?

Well, I've always had a dream as a child to be able to cast magical spells.

Oh, God, that's not the way to do it, man.

You should have gotten into Vampire the Masquerade, or Masquerade, as it were,

if you wanted to cast magic spells.

Why would you do World of Warcraft?

I've just seen so many people head down that dark spiral.

It's like a toilet, you know?

It's hard to get out of it.

It goes counterclockwise, you know?

Or does it go clockwise?

Like I said, I'll be under a bridge in San Francisco in, like, two years,

stealing Wi-Fi from a Starbucks.

Playing WoW.

Well, you know, good luck to you.

I've been asked many a time by coworkers at my old job,

hey, man, join our guild and join our server and we'll get you a trial.

I'm like, no, no thank you, my friend, no thank you.

I don't want to do it.

But I've been addicted to a game before, so I know how to keep it at arm's length.

You know what I'm saying?

Get this, I haven't played it yet today.

Yeah, well, whatever.

You're going to go into it eventually, man.

I can stop any time I want to.

I'm not an addict.

I can stop anytime

sure you can

that's what I say about weed

and look at me here I am again smoking

again anyway

smoke weed everyday

alright

we're having a good time here

we're two minutes shy of midnight

here on the east coast

happy new year

and uh three

what is it uh

8.59

Three minutes past four in the UK.

Okay, really?

Wow, that's late, man.

Thanks for being up so early or so late, whatever it is for you.

That's an awesome thing.

Hey, it's all right.

It's all good.

I got a bottle of fucking fizzy wine here.

It's good.

All right, cool, cool.

Yeah, we've had some fun tonight, I think.

Make a shout-out there.

Go ahead, AMD, with another shout-out.

AMD wants to do another shout-out.

Sure, man, why not?

Shout it out.

Shout it proud.

That was earlier, but I'll say it again.

Hello, Jenna.

Jenna and Vicky listened tonight, but I said they're both sexy ladies.

Both sexy ladies.

Well, Jenna is anyway.

I'll tell you that.

Oh, wow.

Interesting.

Okay, well, other than that.

We've got some bad action, man.

Well, good.

Good for you guys.

I'm glad you guys are having fun doing your shout-outs and everything.

Suddenly, Madhouse Radio has become the urban station.

Thank you.

We've got more prank calls to do.

Let's go ahead and go.

We've got the Rockin' Horse Dance Farm.

I've got to do some pranks because we had Reckless do a lot of pranks.

And they were fun, they were good, but I've got to, you know, this is my show.

People are going to start saying, oh, Carlito doesn't do anything.

I was just hearing Nunu actually on the phone with Reku.

I was wondering if he could talk to Long without wanking.

Yeah, well, there it is.

Okay.

Whatever, man.

All right, so I'm going to call the Funnel House where a black woman answered.

And this is in Long Beach, California, in the LBC.

I'm going to call that in a moment here so everybody don't go anywhere.

We'll be right back with the next prank call of the night.

Yes.

So excited about that.

long beach california the funnel house i wonder what they sell at the funnel house maybe funnel

cakes i'd go for a funnel cake right now guys work on that for me give me you find it is there

sounds good man yeah can you you just can't get a good uh you just can't get a good uh funnel cake

out there so you know unless you're at the fair powdered sugar and some strawberries

right back after this number here is from two weeks ago the wrong line speaking hey what's

going on big tim how do i big tim is your name's tim right no no no no this is the funnel house

She said your name was Tim.

Oh, I heard it wrong.

You were really quick.

I didn't have, you know, I just repeated the name you said.

You know, you said it wrong.

You said Tim.

Your name is Steven, so I don't understand why you would say the wrong name, because I'm infallible.

Excuse me?

I'm infallible.

I don't know what that means.

You ever heard of that condition in fallacy?

No.

I'm that.

I have that condition in fallacy, so sometimes that's what happens.

I can't, but I can't be wrong.

Hey, buddy.

Do you guys have funnel cakes?

I mean, I've been dying for one.

The fair came and went.

I didn't get a chance to go down.

I'm really into getting some funnel cakes tonight, man.

We do, but I just closed for about five minutes ago.

Oh, God, man.

I'm like two.

Do you have any that you threw out?

A sample that's been sitting since the morning.

That's fine.

How early in the morning?

Nine o'clock?

Yeah.

That's not bad.

How big a sample is it?

Small.

Oh, what, like a bite size?

No, not necessarily.

A couple bites.

Tell you what, can I get some batter?

Some batter?

Yeah.

I don't think I could do that.

Well, you know how it is, right?

What do you mean?

Because I've tried to replicate it, and I never can.

Well, I don't think my bosses will let me give it out.

Is your boss there?

No, they're not.

Are you in the bathroom?

Excuse me?

Are you in the bathroom?

No, I'm in the back.

Are you doing number one or number two?

This is where I end the phone call.

No, don't you dare.

Don't you dare.

I'm a secret shopper.

You bastard.

What's that?

I changed my voice to sound like a man.

Because I sound like a woman right now.

Hello, this is Quad speaking.

This is Quad.

What's going on, buddy?

I guess he's not having it.

That beep annoys me.

He goes, meep, every time I change the line.

It sucks.

Anyway.

Hey, guys, what's up?

Madhouse Radio is back.

More calls.

It sounds like NASA.

Mission Control.

Yeah.

Roger Neal.

Okay, we got...

We're oxygenating and we're loading out.

Roger Neal.

Roger Buzz.

There's a lot of astronauts named Buzz.

This is Buzz Aldrin.

All right, we're going to...

Milkman, you crack me up sometimes, man.

All right, we're going to call the Rockin' Horse Dance Bar in Renton, Washington.

Hang out, folks.

Time for another one, brother.

I'll be back.

It sounds like you have the phone in your bosom.

Are you there?

Is it a good phone they have?

Delco brand.

That's a good brand.

That's not Korean, right?

No, that's an American brand Panasonic, right?

It sounds a little far away is what I'm asking.

I thought maybe you got maybe one that was, you know.

China, right?

Maybe that would help.

That's not funny.

What's your name?

Chopper.

What's your position there?

Sir, I've already graded you on the opening.

You've got a poor.

You have three other categories to go.

Now, this is between me and you.

You screw this up, valuation comes on low.

Okay.

All right, so you got a poor already greeting because you were messing around on the phone

and you made a bad joke, a dirty joke, that you're in China.

I don't appreciate that.

I'm trying to be serious.

This is serious business.

We've had a high call.

I would like to know who you are, if you're seriously calling about a serious move to not sit around.

You're one of my friends.

Let's figure out what's going on.

All right, sir, take it easy.

Take it easy, okay?

My name is Jack Valenti.

I'm calling from Quality Control.

We had a complaint about the service at Rocking Horse Dance Barn,

and we're calling in to rate you.

If you get two bad ratings in a row,

we're going to inform the local chamber of commerce

and they're going to pull your liquor license.

Whatever it is that you have there that makes you money,

we're going to pull it, sir.

We're going to shut you down any way we can.

We're going to nip it in the bud

because we're sick and tired of the bad services

that have been going on here.

I've been in 15 years and I don't know.

We got a complaint from one of the county commissioners

about the level of service here.

Repeated complaints and other complaints

about problems, refusals of service, for reasons other than that there's a right for.

Because you have a right to refuse service, but not for people who are handicapped, sir.

Refuse service to any customer.

No, you didn't refuse service to a gentleman who has infallacy.

That has what?

Infallacy.

No, what is that?

He suffers from infallacy.

What is that?

It's a medical condition, sir.

I don't have to get into the gentleman's personal private parts, personal private life,

medical history on the phone, but he has...

He's never refused service to anyone in 19 years of business.

Who hasn't?

Because he has otherwise here in this fax, and it's notarized.

Policy, sir.

Okay, well, we're doing a phone conversation over material that can't look at

or know what you're talking about.

I'm going to send it to you in a moment, sir.

I'm just trying to, you know, and I told you already,

you've got to pour out right in the greeting,

and right now you're at a fair as far as your competency is.

Okay?

So you say you're the owner of the building now?

You're the owner of the building.

You're the super.

You're in business for 12 years.

You said 19, so now you lose.

Okay, you know what? You're a poor now for the attitude, sir.

This is a level two call now.

You're one strike away, sir.

You're one strike away from getting shut down.

The mayor is taking this very seriously.

Your name?

Jack Valenti.

I need your social security number.

The company you said was what?

I need your social security number, please.

Oh, yeah.

Well, what's your business ID, your tax ID?

That's not happening either.

Your FIN.

What's the name of my business?

The Rockin' Horse Dance Barn, Inc.

The

Barn, Inc.

Do you know how long that business has been in existence?

Exactly.

19 years, you said.

No.

You don't even have your information correct.

Sir, do I need to send you this fax right now?

Do you have a fax machine?

Do you have a fax number I can send it to?

It's the same number you called, but I'm not going out to my office.

Oh, my God.

You've got to work with me here, Dave.

Help you out.

You're not even doing...

I try everything I can.

You know Walmart's moving in again?

Walmart's trying to make a move.

All these businesses are like, you're going to be out, brother.

I hate to report this, sir, but you got a minus one.

That's it, man.

It's over.

I'm going to fax you the complaint.

You swear to God you never discriminated against a man with a fallacy ever.

Two days is exactly what I have here.

It just went through the steps right now for incorporation.

I have it right here.

Sir?

I don't need to get into the details of this personal private information

of the gentleman who made the complaint.

But it's a sick state of affairs in this town

that they will let someone like you operate like this

and judge against someone who just has infallacy.

It's bad.

Shame.

Shame on you.

Shame.

Sir, listen, the fax number is the same number I dialed right now, right?

Okay, I'm going to send the fax right now.

The fax?

You're not in fact.

Why don't you take the fax to a ball of paper, shove it in your ass, and you shit it out like a golf ball.

And you say, look at me, I'm a pretty girl.

Yeah.

You know what, you're out of a job.

I'm not going to rest until you're out of this town, sir.

You're a sick Renton.

You're a sick, sick person.

No, we're not in Renton.

Well, you got annexed.

You got annexed, you son of a bitch.

We're in Bellevue.

You're annexed into Renton.

It says right here through your registration, sir.

Nope, that's not even my paperwork.

Look, here's the facts again.

Sir, I am the person who's in phallus, okay?

There's only three people in this world who are in phallus.

Me, Jack Valenti, God, and George W. Bush.

You know what I say?

You're a failure.

You know what?

Your mother is embarrassed of you.

Yourself.

Shame on you.

Ended this refusal of service.

I told you it's private.

Private.

Are you taking a grunt or something?

right now? It sounds like you're just

pushing one out.

I just don't know where I'm going, man.

I don't know where I'm going. Up, down.

Good morning. I hate myself so

much. You know what I like doing now?

I think it's fun when I take a shower.

I do the number two while I'm standing up in the shower.

Plus the toilet. Oh, you don't mash it

into the grate with your feet?

Do you ever mash it in the grate with your feet?

That would be a personal question I don't need to answer.

You sure about that? Do you wash your hands after you use the bathroom?

Nope. Ah, you know what, sir? I got you

on tape and you serve food there, so

So, I guess you're...

No, we don't serve food either.

Well, you're supposed to wash your hands at the dance bar.

It's not the dance bar.

What is it then?

You told me it was the dance bar, Inc.

What are you, some kind of cypher?

What are you, an enigma?

What is this?

Oh, you're all Mr. Mysterious now, huh?

I told you so far that you had any...

You know what?

I'm going to shove it up your ass, okay?

Shove it up your ass and get off my phone machine right now.

Hang up the phone.

Get off of my phone line.

Get off...

I'm talking to you, right?

A, B.

Hang it up right now.

The shots are you're going to hang up the phone.

Don't I know I am.

I'm in phallus.

Phone, sir.

I'm not joking.

We are not joking with you.

I'm not on the phone.

You son of a bitch.

You bastard.

Talking for this long.

Here is I have the caller ID.

I know you don't because I blocked it, buddy.

Hold on.

I'll tell you your phone number.

You don't know my phone number, dude.

I blocked it.

Washington, man.

You don't have my phone number, dude.

Because I blocked it.

You know why?

Because I'm the enigma.

Changed.

I'll tell you what.

If you give me my phone number now, I will go down there and I will give you $100.

I will let you punch me in the mouth.

4-2-5.

Uh-huh.

4-1-2-5.

Shit.

Lock the line, man.

He's got the fucking number now, dude.

Oh, shit.

Hey, man.

I'm sorry, all right?

Please don't tell my mom, all right?

What happened?

What's going on?

Just don't tell my mom, please, all right?

I got in trouble for this last summer.

All right, I'm sorry.

I'm just sorry.

I'm trying to be quiet because I don't want my mom to hear.

You were just yelling at me.

Just walk back in.

Please don't tell my mom.

Talk to her on the phone.

Because I'm going to get in trouble.

with your game come on you're gonna call my mom tomorrow call whenever i'll do whatever you want

man just don't get me in trouble man just please don't tell my mom she's gonna take away my wii i

just got it for christmas please just delete it just delete it please delete it man i'll do

whatever you want no one get in trouble again what a hard-ass threatening people with things

like you were threatening and she put a game on layaway for me hey he just threatened you

he just threatened you he said look over your shoulder said threat you just threatened me

You said to look over my shoulder or something.

I'm going to tell my mom about that, actually.

If you try to call, I'm going to tell her that you said that.

Okay.

Don't you fucking call, old man.

I hate grown-up assholes like you.

The name is because he spoke to you on the internet.

You're a stupid grown-up.

You can shove it, stupid grown-up.

Are you done now?

You're a stupid grown-up.

Yeah, you stupid grown-up.

I hope you better not call my mom because I'm going to tell everybody that you shit in the toilet.

People do it.

Shut up.

And you spoke to her on the internet.

You shit in the toilet.

What's he going to say?

Coughing a lot.

Not trying to get unsick.

Trying to get unsick here.

That was fun, wasn't it?

You guys enjoy that?

Ted, Milkman, everybody out there?

He's got your number up in the water, man.

I wonder if he thinks I'm really like a kid.

Mommy, don't take my wig again.

Don't take my wig again.

Whoever's number that really is, that's going to be funny.

We had a peak of 77 people here before we went off of Syndicate.

it right now we have 60 plus a we got 24 plus another 9 uh 30 24 33 33 live listeners here

for 12 22 a.m is not bad we're having a good time man that's what i'm talking about oh yeah

oh man that was fun what a dumb guy that guy is i don't you shouldn't be threatening

We've got to go and see if he'll call us back.

Yeah, I've got to.

Don't tell my mom.

I know you did.

She's on my way.

Don't tell my mom.

I wish she could get someone to call us the dad.

Hey, Ted, can you conference call?

Can you call in and we'll put you on as the dad?

Could you do that?

Hey.

He's calling in now, motherfucker.

Oh, he's muting himself.

Yeah, I mean, he's calling.

He's on here now.

Oh, he called.

Calling in.

Ted, just try calling him.

Try it again.

just say that you

rung him

because he's been

touching you up

yeah

I'm gonna accuse you

of touching me

yeah damn right

I'm gonna tag you there

awesome

okay good

so

as a dad

you good with that

you got an idea for it

well you heard the prank

you heard the prank right

you sound a little rough

Pennsylvania

I'm gonna start

planning my wedding

okay guys

here we go

we're gonna call my guy back

Ted's gonna be my dad

theory

here we go

good luck Ted man

the conference

is now

unlocked

recorded

live

...in a little bit.

I don't know.

Where?

Do you got your headphones on?

Are you hearing yourself?

Not anymore.

That was weird.

That's weird.

The phone's screwy.

I don't know.

I had to reconnect today.

I don't know.

Do you hear a beep whenever I change the line over, when I click it over?

Yeah, I do.

That's kind of cool, though.

It gives you a sign that we're back on.

I kind of like that.

It's kind of professional.

It's nice.

Awesome.

I feel very professional when I'm on your show.

Good.

Hey, thanks, man.

I wanted to know that.

This is the most professional show out there.

Milkman just did it.

Okay.

Okay, virgin limousines if you want to do it.

No, let's not do that.

Fuck that.

You want to call Italy or Germany?

Italy.

He has great Italian voice.

I don't know, Ted.

You sound kind of upset, man.

What's going on?

Be honest with me.

You sound like you're in a funky mood, man.

I don't know.

You sound like...

We're doing an Italian call.

I tried a different antidepressant, so I'm a little bit weirded out at the moment.

Okay, no problem.

We'll take it easy.

I don't have any issues in my life.

The only thing that's an issue, and I'm just made up,

is I was supposed to start.

I got a note from another professor, warned them to talk shit about each other.

They usually, at least to the other students or whoever, try not to.

So I'm a little bit worried about what's going on.

I'm like, so who can I work with then?

That guy, the other guy is an asshole, is too busy.

Yeah, great.

So now you get stuck with the asshole, the guy who's too busy, who doesn't want to work with you anyway.

Why'd you bother telling me if you can't?

So I'm a little bit bummed about that.

Yeah.

Dude, Rudy Giuliani, he didn't even get anything barely in the whole Iowa caucus at all.

Yeah, isn't Barack going to win that?

Yeah.

Barack's won it.

Huckabee, 34% for the Republicans.

Mitt Romney got 25, apparently.

And the next after that is Fred Thompson.

I think he got 23 or 20.

I think it was like 19.

So that's pretty bad showing for Rudy.

He looks really weird.

I don't know.

Romney's a weird-looking dude.

And, yeah, Obama beats out Hillary.

And who else?

Edwards.

I think Edwards placed second.

Hillary placed third.

I'm surprised that Edwards has pulled out ahead as he has, but it's still not enough.

Edwards is basically tired with Hillary.

Anyway, we're talking.

Because we all know that pulling out isn't effective.

It isn't effective.

It's not an effective method of birth control.

Kids out there, do not practice the pull-out method.

Practice the rhythm method.

The rhythm method.

I have no idea what the rhythm method is.

I've heard of it.

Milkman, look that up for me if you could on the news line.

Get on the wire real quick and give me some information on the rhythm.

That is there.

Yes.

The rhythm method is a technique where they do the timing of the ovulation,

the temperature changes in the body of the female through the prospective time

to make the insemination would be at the time of the ovulation.

So that's the rhythm method.

All right, so that's what the rhythm method is.

Apparently it's when the man and the woman time the ovulations and the temperature.

That sounds like a lot of work.

You know what, either you can get pregnant or you can't.

Just adopt a kid.

There you go.

All right.

I'm not going to be taking temperatures of my scrotum and wearing boxers on purpose

and taking temperatures of my old lady.

No, I'm not trying to get pregnant.

We're not trying to get pregnant.

No, I was, you know, you said the pull-up method.

I said the rhythm method.

A slightly reserved Ted is going to call Alberto Costa in Roma, Italia.

I sent you the number.

You see that there, buddy?

Yeah, Roma.

You're going to do the international calls, right?

And I'll do the domestic ones.

That works?

Yes, I did.

I sent you the one.

Alberto Costa.

And apparently all these people that I have speak English,

despite the fact that they live in Europe.

Europe.

E-Europe.

Oh, another, you know, David Letterman came back.

Yeah, man, he has a big-ass beard.

He's got a beard.

Yeah, he said he's not going to shave his beard until the strike is over.

And Jay Leno also came back.

Dude, he looks like Father Time or something.

He's starting to look like Billy Gibbons.

Yeah, he looks like one of the Billy Gibbons.

You got a point, Milkman.

He does look like him.

ZZ Top.

No, not ZZ Top.

He's not ZZ Top yet.

He's getting there, though.

Well, eventually, he's going to get there.

That's correct.

He doesn't finish.

Yeah, he looks gnarly.

What are you talking about?

He's from Naples.

He wants to do a handstand.

He puts his hand in his ass many times a day.

Who is he?

Who are you?

He's from Naples.

This is the FBI.

Does anybody on this line speak the English?

This is the United States of America operator, and I'm tracking.

Is this person making an obscene call to you, sir?

Is someone making a dirty call to you, sir?

I am America.

You're kind of interested in the bad call.

Can you tell him that I am America, please?

You're this person who makes dirty calls in the morning.

Dirty.

You see, because we interrupted this as he was making the calls.

I have suspicion to believe that this is him.

You can tell him, please, question him in relation to making bad calls to the United States.

Tell him that we have his social security number on file and we have proof that it was him.

Vacation.

He gave it out to the man and dared him.

He said that this is me.

I am, say that, I am me.

I am a dirty person, he said.

That he said that.

Tell him that it cost this person that he called $28, whatever that is in lira.

Gross error, sir.

All right, tell him that we'll be checking up on him.

Ice him.

Tell him he needs to call me if he decides to go out of town.

Tell him he needs to check in with me if he tries to leave town.

He left already?

Okay, that's a great joke.

It's a big joke.

That was kind of fun.

That's what he said

That's funny

He saluted us

Well good

Beautiful

I don't know how funny

That is to people

I can kind of follow it

Because I speak Spanish

A lot of the stuff

Sounds

Saigon was saying

We should call him

A caravicho

That was funny

Caravicho

Which means literally

Sometimes everything

Makes you fun

Yeah it is

It is kind of fun

To kind of guess it

Yeah

Well Saigon

What Saigon said

We should have called him

In Spanish

Literally means penis face

Which I kind of think

It's funny

You know what I asked

No

Make this into your wife

Right

I heard you said something that sounded something like hand and poop.

I wasn't sure what it was.

Does she shit?

No, I can't.

You can't answer that.

You said he's really religious, too.

What a dumbass, that guy.

You know, he's probably like a priest.

Like, I don't have a wife.

He's a gay, too.

He doesn't have a wife.

Well, he's very religious, too, right?

He said that.

Oh, crap.

I think that was a priest.

Oh, man.

We're probably calling the Vatican or something.

Probably a cardinal.

Prayer down.

Yeah, I remember Rocky when he'd run down the street, go by the priest's house,

and he'd be like, hey, throw me down a prayer, hey, yo.

And the guy would be like, hey, the nombre de patria, he speak santi, whatever, you know.

Oh, God, it's good stuff.

They're getting some raspberry lemonade, sugar-free.

Yeah, man, it was good to talk to you.

Hanson's Diet Cherry.

I thought Hanson's was all about natural stuff, and now they use Splenda.

Yeah, they got the Diet Black Cherry.

Aren't they the ones that use sugar cane all the time, cane sugar?

Yeah, yeah.

I'd like to try, but I can't.

I can't touch sugar at all, but I did notice they have black cherry, and they have a regular

flavor, too, now, that's sugar-free, it's kind of crap, yeah, but they stick to the

old, original cane sugar, I bet you that tastes good, I heard that, uh, dude, that

is good, we have here a soda called Brow, it's really good with the real, yeah, with

the real, with the real sugar, yeah, in Puerto Rico, they have a lot of sodas and stuff,

and all their candies, and then they're made there, and they're all done with, like, cane

sugar, it's really good, really good stuff, it's not like, you know, the crap you get

over here better than maple sugar way better that's right it has different yeah it has different

whole sugars sure sugar in the raw i like i like you know i like black sugar sometimes in my coffee

too milkman i'm checking my g talk let's see here what do we got here like

Medford Road.

What is this?

What are confirmed?

These hotels?

The Maple Lodge?

These are top-confirmed hotels.

Yeah, both are confirmed.

Hotels in my town, they're both confirmed.

I rung both of them up just now, and two people answered, both women.

Okay, hang on.

I'm sending this to you.

I don't know if you want to call these, Ted.

These are hotels that are confirmed.

You have to dial 011 and 44 and take out the zero.

You know how to do that?

Yeah, yeah.

So on the number.

Torquay?

Torquay, how's it pronounced, guys?

Torquay.

There's Torquay.

Torquay.

Torquay and the first one.

Where is that?

Yeah, Torquay.

Torquay, Devon.

That's in England.

In Devon, UK.

Devon, UK.

It's the country, the rural part, right?

They're all mean over there.

It's so laid back here.

It's great.

honestly it's so laid back it's so good laid back he says over there hey so take out the zero and

add a zero one one four four to the beginning sounds like you got it i said i just spoke to

about five minutes ago so they they are they picked up this is my day is it i think it is my

friend amd i definitely definitely spoke to the people i i sent the uh numbers to to milkman

right try the other one and i'll try and confirm some more but that they definitely picked up both

of them did the second one is the same number again yeah i think quentin just kept sending

the same number over and over again no he didn't no there's a different one there oh yeah what's

the meat meat what's the meat but is that a pub or what is it what is it now it's hotels

2297 uh try the maple lodge one did you get that one that's the one that's 297.

through that's someone that's not going through we're gonna try that right okay that the meat

meat food road the meat food is yes meat for hotel it is the meat foot hotel the meat is the

bay hotel the meat foot hotel the meat foot bay hotel the meat foot bay hotel yeah meat meat foot

bay yeah that's one hotel all right yeah there's the here at your folder travel magazine that has

your house number as a bed and breakfast folders one you know talky special

Sorry, I've only been living here three months.

Oh, wow, that's a really short time to be putting your house on the market.

I moved here from East Anglia.

From where?

Did you? East Anglia, towards the East Coast.

Now, did you ring me about...

Oh, you live in New York?

No, England.

India.

England.

I don't let rooms.

I've never been and packed all my stuff yet.

My spare bedroom is full of boxes.

You don't like Americans.

Listen, I've traveled to 40-odd states.

Two of my best friends are American.

Yeah.

They live in central Florida, they live in Wisconsin, they live across Canada with them, they've been all up the coast as far as Maine.

What'd they say?

What? I know them and I love her dearly.

She's been over here and spent New Year with me.

I don't have a hotel.

Honestly, I've got a two-bedroom apartment.

Another one being used.

Full of...

Go in the area?

I have no idea. I don't know the area.

I'm half past five in the morning.

You rang me earlier.

That's good, Andy.

Sorry.

Yeah.

I drive down the street to buy groceries, and I'm broke.

See, because my friend somewhere has paid for me to go over to America, and then we camp.

We come and camp. It's one of the best ways of having a holiday.

Now, like, you won't even stay in our hotels over here.

It's all making sense to me now, the whole thing.

Like, you come to our country, you won't stay in our hotels.

United States, you're a hotel, and you're like, oh, sorry, I'm not a hotel, I don't know.

It's a hotel. I've only just moved here. I've got some of this up the road.

Criminal arthritis. I'm legally blind, which is why I moved down to be in the area to them.

You're not a hotel.

I'm not a hotel. Two-bedroom apartment. I've not unpacked all my stuff yet.

Why are you ringing me up so early in the morning?

Hotels are open all night.

Can you tell me the name of the magazine which had my...

It is not a hotel. It's an apartment.

It said it's the Fodor's Travel Guide, and it's your address, Meetford Road.

What is the address?

This is not Meetford Road.

No address.

See, and that's...

It's moved here.

Yes.

I think you should contact them and tell them.

Or you get more calls like this.

The only call I've had...

You know, to call them up and tell them there's been a really big mistake here, and...

I think you should contact...

You're looking for someone to...

Meetford Road.

I know where Meetford Road is, but it's on the road.

Is that a breakfast there?

I know that.

I think you should...

Well, I've not been in there, but once somebody was telling me about places,

I think you should contact maybe the...

I'm very upset.

A lot of pain, and it takes me a lot of time getting off to sleep.

Strong pain killers.

Don't let me woke up early in the morning with this,

because I can't get back up.

I didn't get off to sleep until 3 o'clock.

You know what?

I think we should really band together and go after the people who wrote the voters' magazine.

Protest, it's called, is it?

How do you spell it?

Chinese with anything, honestly.

One thing I remember about Chicago, before food especially,

I didn't like to have food because she's ruining me.

Here she gets that message.

Hey, everybody, this is Carlito.

We're back on the air.

Prank calls in progress.

I'm on people now.

Be good, be hybrid, be hybrid, driving people now.

I'm not yet.

I'm in Chicago.

You're in Chicago?

Yes.

You don't know that?

Yeah, I don't know.

High-level kids kill me.

Mike, nice.

Come on.

Why do you ask?

I mean, there's a lot of people who might do things to me.

I mean, I am very...

I'm very cautious.

I'm fine.

I take a lot of vacation also from my office.

I take Cerebrex.

I take Sina.

I take Paraschitis.

Oh, but why does it give the name Cerebrex?

Like, what's their love rate?

C-E-R.

He's insane.

That lady was just...

That lady's funny.

She says she has friends in Central Florida.

That's where I live.

Yeah.

On the show one day.

That's funny.

Anyway, man, that was funny.

Yeah, I lost internet, like, right in the middle of that call.

So, everything went down.

I was able to recover it, though.

Yep.

Power cycled the modem on the rider completely.

Luckily, it was a long call.

I think it was like maybe a ten-second

where I had to restart things

and might not have recorded, unfortunately.

Not a big deal.

It was a good call, though, man.

That lady's insane.

She's like, are you paranoid?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I know, right?

She's like, to the argument about Celebrex.

Like, no, Cerebrex.

Celebrex, Cerebrex.

That's funny.

Cerebrex.

Yeah, I think I'm ending the show, man.

I'm getting tired.

It's one o'clock.

That was fun.

Was that a wrong number, I'm guessing?

Because I don't think there was nothing like,

return, I got a hotel.

Yeah.

Yeah, I forgot how to register.

I know you do self, right?

Isn't it something like self and you do something?

Channel commander?

I don't know.

Yeah, yeah, but I'll do it.

I'll do it, man.

Cool.

All right, hey, thanks.

Thanks for calling.

That was a fun call, man.

Today, I'm going to wrap it up.

Go back to the computer machine, all right?

I'll be on my computer.

The computer machine.

I'll see you.

All right.

That was fun.

Woo-hoo-hoo.

That was fun.

All right, everybody, we're done.

We're having a good time.

Yeah, Milkman, let me take off and mute now that I can see you.

It's kind of weird seeing you doing the show.

Jesus Christ, this is Milkman.

All right, Milkman, we've had a fun night tonight.

AMD, of course, you too.

Thank you for that number.

I think we missed out the number, but it was still fun.

Good work.

Yeah, it's all good.

It's all good.

It's all good in the hood.

And Ted, of course, did a good job with that last prank.

That was funny.

Yeah, man.

When I came back on the stream before you came up, I still heard it.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, no, we lost Inter in the middle of that call.

So I was about to go back on syndicate, but unfortunately, I'm ending the show now anyway, so it's all good.

So, yeah, we're out of here.

Milkman, take us out of here, goddammit.

I'm done.

I'm tired.

I'm over it.

Dammit, dammit, son.

Goodbye.

All kinds of participation.

Some old-time friends of Matt's join us.

I get to pick a lot of special guests up.

Welcome back.

Are you back?

All right, Milkman, you sound like shit.

Are you back?

You're chopping all over the place.

You're chopping

Your audio's all chopped

Well maybe I'm talking

How about that

There you go

That's better

If I talk too loud

Then you can't hear me

So let's try it again

How about that

I'd like to thank

All of our special guests

We had a great crowd

Welcome back to AMD

Excellent

Excellent participation there

Great contribution

Thank you so much

Mate for coming back

Recluse

Thank you so much

For joining us

And some great talk

Recluse always

Great great stuff

Recluse

Welcome back, Ted Webb, thanks so much for what you do, man, just a simple server here,

I'll get together in the madhouse, we're in Vegas, hey, glad to have you along,

Welcome back.

Happy New Year to our friends.

Yeah, for you.

Also, what was it, Frank?

I don't know very well, but I'd like to say thank you for coming along and participating in our show.

We've had a few other people.

Hey, Mr. Loser, man.

I'm a man out here.

Crazy prank.

God, I love you.

You're a wonderful man out there.

Shout out to Jim and all the hot birds over there.

Over there laying there up there in these pads

Lucky bastard

Hey, shout out to my girl

She's got the sweetest kisses

This side of the Murphy and this side of Planet Earth

Yeah, hey, I'd like to give you thanks

Also to Fall

MST3 Clay

Game Dream

All the friends here that joined us

And anybody that may still be listening

Over there at Syndicate Radio

Thanks a lot for joining in

Also all of our friends on top of you

Hey, thanks a lot.

We hope you enjoyed it.

Also, I'd like to really thank all of you out there listening, our listeners.

You know what?

It's all about you.

We do this every week.

We pay so that you can have the most interactive entertainment on here.

And you're in the madhouse.

And tune everybody.

We've got some great stuff coming up for you this year.

100% improvement.

A lot more great guests.

A lot of fun out there to be had.

So do not take your dose of Thursday night fun right here in the Madhouse, baby.

I also like to especially thank our socialist leader, the Generalissimo of the Madhouse, the militia.

God knows what we'll tell you to keep an eye on our face.

Several people this week and several last year.

Thank you so much, Carlito, my brother.

I just told Hermano, we got to flag this out.

They're looking for detention.

They need you to come and give us $25 right now.

Yeah, Milkman, you know what?

Thank you so much, everybody, for joining us.

Milkman, you know what?

The second that you stopped your video on Stick Camp, you stopped chopping as much.

Your bandwidth over there isn't too good.

Ah, okay.

But you're going to be in the States in about a week.

You're going to be in the States in about a week or two, right?

So at that point, you should have more reliable internet.

Yeah, approximately a week, I'll be joining from the States.

All right, I'll be back out on the western tour, the far west tour.

Look for me in the parts of California, the mid-parts of California.

All my friends out there in California, stay in touch with your old baby.

Oh, Milkman, because I may be detecting you very soon.

Stay tuned, man, for more great innovations right here

with our crazy, fearless leader, Romano Arlito.

Back to you, big brother.

Hey, thanks, Milkman.

Thank you, everybody.

Everybody, Lonesome Loser, especially everybody who called in.

Nobody called in.

Reklu called in.

And Ted called in.

No Jonathan tonight.

And, yeah, unfortunately, there was some confusion with the syndicate.

That sucks.

Whatever.

Who fucking cares?

All right, you know what?

Fuck it.

Next time.

Fuck it.

So, is Fartsteam...

Well, Fartsteam is back, but on some different station.

Does anybody even care?

Seriously?

Whatever.

Anybody listen to that?

He said that he stopped it, and then he brought it back after four days of saying

that he didn't want to run it anymore.

So I don't know.

Yeah, because his new story that I read

was that server room is too unreliable, that it sucked.

I've been with server room for months now,

and I've never had one problem with their service at all.

I've never had any issues with the stream,

my stream on server room,

except if it's been for my own fault.

So, I don't know, whatever.

He told me he didn't want to run a network.

That's what he told me.

So I guess he changed his mind.

Eh, well, you know, he's just looking for attention.

The more he does that, the more he whittles his way and the more systems slip through his fingers.

You know what I'm saying?

I don't care.

You know, life sucks.

Life sucks, man.

It does, but...

Who's that, Corey?

My missus moved out on Christmas Day, but I don't care.

Oh, hey, AMD.

What happened to the two women over there?

They fall asleep on you, they leave?

No, they left a little while ago, but like I say, the thing about life, it's always good.

My missus moved out Christmas Day, but I've got two other birds that was in my bed earlier.

So, it's always good, mate.

Always good.

So, did you get any or did you just sit there and giggle all night?

Well, I couldn't really do anything with one of them, but I've had some off the other day anyway.

So, it's all good.

So, she's coming back tomorrow and her mate is as well.

So, you know, hopes for good things, good things.

Go for a threesome, man.

Those are fun.

Every guy should do that at least once.

Ted's done a threesome before.

Milkman hasn't, but Ted has.

I have a few.

Wait a minute, Chad.

Milkman had a threesome with two guys, probably.

Milkman had a threesome with another guy and another girl.

That's nasty.

Gary Coleman and Webster.

Ooh, that's nasty.

I've got to think for little black guys.

They had a three-way in high school.

Yeesh.

You're making me mad.

A quick roundtable, as nasty as it may be, and you can abstain if you want.

Would you be involved in a threesome if it involved a woman and a guy, not just two women?

Milkman, you first.

What's your vote?

Nine.

All right.

Tad, what's your vote?

No, that's actually really gay.

That is.

Yeah, you can get too close.

AMD, would you do it?

No, it has to be two women.

I can't even have a piss if another guy stood next to me in the urinal.

In the urinal.

Urinal.

You British queers are funny.

And the warrior, what about you?

Would you do it?

No, I would not.

And Corey?

Yes, I would.

Oh, yeah, Corey would.

All right, so Corey gets a gold star for doing this.

No, I wouldn't.

Yeah, right.

Fuck you.

Bye.

All right, Corey, yeah.

What the hell?

You dirty little monkey.

You can hold on to my hand, though.

Yeah, fuck you.

What are you talking about?

Okay, Ted Webb did not even know about the chest, okay?

All right.

Oh, fuck.

I am bicep.

I'm fabulous.

All right, we're out of here, everybody.

Thank you very much for having fun with us.

You're making fun of me because I didn't know about titty fucking.

Who doesn't know about titty fucking?

I do.

Oh, yes.

Ted doesn't know that I tried it because that girl could take it.

You're making fun of me because I didn't try it in the ear.

In the ear?

Yeesh.

Hey, man.

That's...

I can't talk about it.

There's something that happened to me recently about that.

I'm just not going to bring it up.

Let's not go there.

We're going to have a good night.

Goodbye, everybody.

Thank you for listening

Catch us next week

Thank you so much

Corey from PCU man

Thank you Corey from PCU

It's going to be me, Ted, Milkman, and Sweet Kisses tonight in bed together.

Here's audio of that right now. Listen.

What about me?

No, not you.

Oh, I'm up in the chair now.

You're uncut. We don't like that.

Yeah, not my voice. It's cute.

He's uncut, but he's uncircumcised.

Yeah.

Elsa, what's going on?

Elsa?

Voice.

Voice, though.

This is...

I just want a really soft voice.

It's very soft.

I don't even want to put a T at the end of it.

It's so soft.

Have big teeth?

Would you consider them big or...

Blue size?

Are the front two like chiclets or they're smaller?

They're not bigger than the other ones, right?

I like that.

That's nice.

Is your tongue pinkish or reddish?

Yeah.

Nice.

This is your voice.

I wanted to make an order for a machine, but then I heard your...

I mean, because it's a soft, soft, soft voice.

I'm just thinking, you know, you do it to me, you know?

I know it's inappropriate.

I know you're at work and it's kind of inappropriate, but I thought maybe, I don't know, take you out.

Sushis?

Yes, listen, I have this great recipe for sushi.

You want to hear it?

Sushi.

Poppy in that soft voice of yours.

Bye, Sophie.

So soft.

She's so soft.

I just decided to do a prank call.

What the hell?

That was fun.

Who else can we call?

Let's see.

We've got Fanny's Bar in Spring Valley, California.

Coming right up.

It's like the show never ended.

You always say more good things from the mad out there than the farted room.

Is this a live prank call or is this a show?

This is a live...

Oh, I don't...

All right, we're going to interview you.

Okay.

Get ready.

Is it Fanny's?

Fanny, how you doing?

I'm calling the bar.

Is this Fanny?

Okay, yeah, Fanny.

I'm not looking for you.

I was looking for someone who works at the bar.

Someone who works at the fucking bar.

Hello?

Curse.

Wando is at the curse, right?

Mess it up.

I'll call her back later.

All right, Corey, seriously, where are you from, man?

I want answers right now.

No, seriously, where'd you come from?

You said I knew you from PCU.

What's that all about?

What'd you do at PCU?

Okay, Ted Webb remembers me, right?

I know.

He remembers me.

I think I've heard of Ted Webb.

No, he's a kid who's been around PCU.

He's a prank caller from way back in the day.

Oh, man.

Well, that's good, Corey.

Yeah.

You're in Canada?

You're in Vancouver?

Where are you at, man?

Playing too much WoW.

I can't hear that question.

What do you want to say?

You're playing WoW, too.

Hey, man, what kind of music are you into?

Do you like the emo music?

You like the rap music?

I like the rock.

It's the good stuff.

You don't like the rap music?

Hey, man, this is...

Rap, rap, rap.

Look, this is rap music.

This is the rap music.

Whose phone is that?

Milkman?

Oh, Sweet Kisses.

Let's hear Sweet Kisses, Milkman.

Come on.

I wonder what it is that Milkman and Sweet Kisses do in bed every Thursday night.

Hello.

Hey.

Yeah, we're still on.

Say hi to Carlito.

He's in the air right now.

Say hello to him.

He can hear you.

Hey, what's going on there, lady?

Hey, Milkman, you two go have phone sex, all right?

It's okay.

Go ahead and go.

You two have your talk.

All right, man.

I'm already getting hot and heavy right here, okay?

All right.

Watch the camera, everybody.

All right, bye.

Okay, I'm going to mute it.

Bye.

Go on with the interview.

Milkman's going to do stuff.

I'm done.

Corey's a bad interviewer.

Corey, you got a poor for your interview.

It was a poor interview.

I'm sorry.

I'm playing WoW.

She doesn't listen to you.

Come on, man.

I'm in Battlegrounds right now.

What's your character's name?

What's your, whatever, your toon's name?

Whatever you guys call it.

What's it called?

My character's name is Ancestor.

And what is he exactly?

Is he a blood elf?

What do you got there?

I am a human mage.

Human mage, and you're level 70.

Yeah, with 100 days play time.

Wow.

Actually more than that, but I don't really want to calculate.

So you went up to level 70 in 100 days time?

That sounds like it's pretty, that's like a lot of gaming.

No, no, no, no.

No, no, no.

No, not that long.

But that's how long I've been playing.

Like, on the character.

Okay.

Well, good.

Okay.

Well, you need to meet me on Medal of Honor.

And what server are you on?

ToonMall, which Ted Webb better join.

Yeah, Ted, you got to adjourn that server, man.

It'll be a dick.

Fuck you.

I'm all about the paranormal, baby.

I'm going to have to get this stupid game.

I'm going to have to break down and get it, you fucking nerds.

All you nerds out there.

How many people...

How many people play WoW out there?

We're going to get Milkman on WoW.

We're going to have a Madhouse clan on WoW.

There's like a hundred people playing WoW.

There's what?

I got a 64K, $9,000,000.

Well, I know that.

I know there's a lot of people that play it, but I'm saying how many listeners out there are listening to it?

Hey, Carlito, I have two accounts.

I'll give you one if you want.

Hey, yeah.

Heck yeah.

I'll install it.

I'll just download and install the program then.

That's cool.

Yeah, okay.

Can I just download it without buying it?

And all you have to do is pay for the account, right?

Isn't that the deal?

Yeah, but I have the account.

I'll just let you use it.

Like, I'm down.

Yeah, well, cool.

That's cool, man.

Appreciate that.

I'll do that, yeah.

Yeah, okay.

Okay, cool.

Well, hey, look.

I don't know who needs a PS3.

Yeah.

PS3s, you know, I would not want to buy a PS3.

I would stick.

I don't want to buy a Wii, either.

That's too much work.

Let's get an Xbox 360.

Hey, have you guys seen the...

I hate Wiis.

Have you guys seen the Team 3 computer case?

No, can't say I have.

What's it?

It's got lights on it?

What's the deal?

Oh, it's the sickest thing ever.

I'm going to put it in my commenter.

Yeah, Dell came up with a World of Warcraft laptop.

It's so nerd.

Ooh, it's a laptop.

Hey, I was going to buy that, but it's too much money.

It's five grand.

Is it a decent gaming machine, though?

It doesn't have any impressing specs.

It just has a physics card.

I was going to ask.

I mean, if they're going to do that,

they need to boost it up with a nice graphics card at least, you know,

and put some, you know, make it a nice.

They just painted World of Warcraft.

I have no life on it.

That's the point.

I have no life.

World of Warcraft, colon, I have no life.

That's what the next expansion should be called

For World of Warcraft

World of Warcraft I Have No Life

That's the next expansion for WoW right there

Sorry to interrupt guys

I'm off to bed now

It's been a pleasure tonight

Always a pleasure guys

Always good fun

Like I said I've been offline for a little while

But I will be back on all the time anyway

So you guys have a good night

Hey AMD man I'm sorry that I snapped at you

But thank you for being on

I snapped at you earlier I feel bad

you know I feel bad I did I feel bad I'm a Welsh man I always get there the

mick chicken at me it's fine honestly the mid-size I'll tell you milkman we

got Brandon Vegas everybody else the warrior and all that Corey milk you know

and Ted I'll catch you all guys later I'm gonna have a sleep now because I'm

so bloody tired all right man it's asleep for us yeah I go Mac into the

the british women all right cheerio buddy no way all right man you know what i want to hear i want

to hear the the british call that we did earlier don't forget to register and speak for you guys

oh too late he went ha ha ha no register too late you stupid stupid limey you forgot yeah so we're

having fun here that was jen stewart he's gone we should have just told everybody that we should

gin stewart see if they notice that'd be funny our american listeners probably wouldn't they're so

dense you hate it i know what's up talk talk is back talk baby talk what's up talk we're doing

like an after show we're just hanging out we stopped the outro come see that case i'm not

gonna see that case i don't have send me a link to who dell's paying uh to me where where exactly

where oh i see okay in team speak all right hang on hang on i'm opening it now i'll let you know

what i think in a second here we go are you kidding me that and it wasn't even like yeah

but it has smoke coming down the side that's a freaking laptop seriously what is that

oh that's a case that actually does and some guy craft made it for like some fan club thing

that's weird that's too much man that's not even a computer at that point that's a fucking love

box or something what is that about that is no it looks like a miniaturized party float you know

You know, like you'd have that in some kind of the Rose Day Parade or something.

Jeez.

It's funny.

MST3 Clay said he thought that was Jen the whole time.

He thought AMD was Jen.

You crazy American.

You think they all sound the same.

You know.

Oh, those British, they all sound the same.

How racist of you, MST3 Clay.

How dare you.

All right.

How about we do another prank call?

All right.

I like that idea.

What's your number?

I'll call into the show and we can do something.

What do you expect we do?

Why is there so much?

Hang on.

And there's a source of noise from outside.

I don't know what's going on.

What do you expect we're going to do?

We're going to hang out?

Are you going to do a prank call, kid?

He's probably getting attacked by some gnolls right now.

Yeah, probably.

No, I'm getting attacked by damn trees.

Okay, I died.

Fuck.

Okay, yeah.

So, yeah, Jim Stewart, he heard one of my calls.

It's pretty good.

Ted Webb heard it.

It's pretty good, he said.

Yeah.

It's a pretty good one.

Some telemarketer called me.

Hey, you son of a bitch.

Bitch, what are you doing? You fucking bastard. Son of a bitch. Get the fuck out. Get out.

This fucking cat of mine stuck his face in my pizza box and ate about a third of one of my slices, that bastard.

Oh, I would. I would. If I was a bad parent right now, I'll tell you what I would do.

Tie a can to his tail.

Hey man, I witnessed today some kid getting beat over by Team Speak. It was pretty funny.

Getting beat? Like in the game getting beat? Or like his mom was beating him?

No, like, in real life, like, in his dad, I got him to go to Two Girls, One Cup, and his dad started, like, just screaming at him and stuff like that.

It was really funny.

Oh, God, Two Girls, One Cup is bad, too.

I still have not gone to that site.

I just heard what it was about, and I just, no way.

You know, Ted.

Hey, have you seen the Pain Olympics?

The Pain Olympics is fake.

That's been proven that it's fake.

But, Ted, you know, what you're saying about Two Girls, One Cup, for several weeks, I did the same thing.

i've refused to go see that because i was like uh-uh and i had to see it finally and i'll tell

you what it wasn't as bad it wasn't as bad as everyone made it out to be you should check it

out man you got to do it you got to experience that yeah and i puked and then i tied up my

brother and uh i mean i tied up my brother's friend or whatever and i forced him to watch it

over and over and over again you tied him up huh all right cool ted watch it or i be don't be a

girl watch it funny you're not gay for watching it just don't be a girl you got to do it

and the pain olympics thing i i've seen that that freaked me out the first time i saw it

tub girl was another thing that totally fucked me yeah looking at that oh god oh yeah tub girl did

fuck me up when i saw that but uh the pain olympics i saw the first like five seconds of it

and i said uh-uh no thanks and i never watched any more of it but then i did actually see on

youtube later on i saw where it was disproven they showed how it was faked and they showed

the story how it got faked and all that that i watched and but i've never gone back to see but

yeah that but two girls one cup watch it ted come on watch it live in the air we'll get your reaction

why don't you do that now we'd like to hear your reaction come on man do it yeah i i when they were

puking into into each other's mouths i kind of puked so i'm cory all right cory you're gonna

ruin it ted you're gonna do it live on the air you're gonna give us your reaction or not if

Yes, I'm going to give you my reaction.

I'll do it now.

Oh, my God.

Here we go, everybody.

This is going to be fun here.

TwoGirlsOneCup.com.

Let us know when it starts, Ted.

It says, warning, do not watch.

No, I guess you can't watch it then.

I think I watched that when I was 15 for the first time.

Oof.

Yeah, that would screw me up if I was 15.

Is it going yet, Ted?

No.

Oh, it's some fag telling me not to watch it.

Oh, God.

Someone's sending the right link to it.

You got to get the right thing.

I don't even know what the website is.

I think it's twogirlsonecup.com.

Or the number two, though.

I don't know.

Yep.

That's correct.

There.

The warrior has it.

I know he does.

He loves that site.

I said that to you, Milkman.

I said that to you after I saw it.

I remember that.

Milkman didn't even flinch.

He's like, oh, yeah.

That was great.

That is great.

All right.

Here we go.

Describe it to us as you're watching it, too.

MFX 1209, WWW.

Okay, there's a white girl and a black girl.

Yeah.

Messing with each other.

Oh, my God, one just pooped into a cup.

It looks like ice cream coming out, doesn't it?

Like soft serve?

Oh, my God, and they're eating it.

That is fucking disgusting.

Okay, that's it.

Oh, come on.

Whose poop looks like that?

I really think that's fake.

It comes out like some kind of weird ice cream.

I really don't think that's real.

It looks like Play-Doh.

I think that was injected in there.

Like somebody pushed that up there.

Yeah, it looks like you mixed all the Play-Doh.

You know whenever you mix a lot of Play-Doh colors together and it would get that weird color?

Like that brownish kind of deal.

That's what it looks like.

I don't understand who could be paid enough to do something like that.

Hey, did you see where they puked in each other's mouths?

Now that's some scab.

Yeah, that's nasty.

When I saw that part, I was like, oh, and I turned it off.

I didn't get to the end of it.

I actually saw when they started puking the shit out of the one girl's mouth to the other ones,

I was like, ooh, ooh, no, no, thank you, no, no, no, no.

Scary, scary stuff, eh?

Scary shit, yeah.

No, that side, yeah.

I was like, oh.

Everybody wishes that their daughters do that one day.

Yeah, I bet they do.

Ted, hey, Ted, I didn't mean to, you know, put you under pressure to do that, you know?

I'm sorry.

I'm not a bad influence, am I?

Please don't say that.

Okay, I won't say it.

All right, good.

Yeah, all right.

Now I'm really leaving.

This is the end of the show, everybody.

There's not going to be any outro.

This is going to be an abrupt end to the Madhouse Show.

This has been a special presentation of Madhouse Radio.

So I can give you my account in the morning.

Yeah, get with me.

Are you an AOL?

Do you know my name on there, sir?

MSN.

You've got my MSN.

I send you numbers all the time.

Oh, you do?

Well, send me a message there now because I've got 1,000 people on there.

I don't know for sure who you are.

I've got tons and tons of people.

Well, all right, everybody.

We're out of here.

Good night.

Thank you very much for listening.

Madhouse Radio is live Thursday nights at 10 p.m. Eastern.

Why don't you shut the hell up?

Fuck you! Fuck you fucking piece of shit!

Be sure to visit us online at madhouselive.com.

Calls (22, 1 h 10 min of 2 h 49 min)

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