2008-01-17 Show

Listen to House Radio Podcast.

Jesus fucking Christ.

Finally on.

Shit.

Bro, how fun we made it on.

Did you take nothing regularly and pee?

No, just everything messed up tonight.

Nothing worked right.

Nothing was, there was no video.

And then I got the video working and the audio stopped going out.

And it's all convoluted and it's a long story.

Let's just focus on doing the show.

I'm embarrassed.

I'm an hour.

There's just no excuse for it, man.

This is the kind of show you get here tonight.

I have a completely long story.

We'll make up for it during the show.

Whatever.

We are here.

Madhouse Radio starting up late Thursday, January the 17th, 10.52 p.m.

I am Carlito.

Here in the studio with me tonight is our roster of Tuck, The Warrior, and Brandon Vegas all checking in.

Gentlemen, say hi real quick, please.

Hi, real quickly.

Gentlemen, Milkman.

I understand, is going to be joining us in the second hour of the show,

which is pretty much going to be the first hour of the show.

Milkman should be joining us in about 15 minutes to a half hour.

All you Milkman fans out there, just relax.

Take it easy.

We'll have Milkman on shortly.

Don't worry.

It's all right.

Anyway, in the meantime, we're setting up.

Well, we're done.

We're done setting up.

We're ready to do a show.

It's already freaking late.

If you want to send your parent call request, we'll do those.

If you want to give us a call, we can do that too.

The toll-free line will be open tonight.

The toll-free line is 1-888-278-8509.

Again, that's 1-888-278-8509.

You want to reach me on AOL or Yahoo Instant Messenger, Madhouse Radio.

Again, AOL and Yahoo Instant Messenger, Madhouse Radio.

MSN Messenger, Madhouse Live at hotmail.com.

Or just go to the home page, madhouselive.com.

Yeah.

Lonesome Losers here.

here lonesome loser check it in lonesome loser all right hope you all take note bear witness

to the man who is a lonesome loser even though his work schedule has him working late on thursdays

he still makes every effort he can to make it here as early as he can uh in order to help us

out with the show and that's just a testament he's the man i know he's a big fan of the show

because he's been with us since day one i don't think he's missed i don't i think maybe he's

missed one night in like three years of doing shows i think i mean that's that's awesome

Lonesome Loser is the man.

Thanks, bro.

I want to thank everybody at Syndicate for being so patient.

God bless you all.

Thank you so fucking much for being so fucking patient.

You know, Dino, Zolar holding it down for us.

Gary the Retard.

A show that probably you guys would have been better off had it gone on until 1 o'clock in the morning instead of me.

So, you know, because I suck.

And other than that, you know, everybody in the chat room.

I see DTT was hanging out earlier.

I saw Saigon is in there.

Saigon.

Saigon's a fan of the name Ralph Littlejohn.

Dino, as I said.

Big Rev.

That kid Rev is on.

Rev is on.

What's up, Rev?

How you doing, brother?

Brother man.

Rev's cool.

Good people.

Class act, that Rev.

Everybody's out there.

The Warrior holding it down for us as well.

The ambassador of Madhouse Radio and Stick Cam.

Hi, Warrior.

How you doing, man?

Good for you.

I'm glad.

Doing good.

Oh, I'm doing good.

We've got requests already.

Godsend is asking us to do Walmart conference calls.

That's Godsend.

checking in what yeah i know walmart conference calls duly noted bad boys of iowa saying what up

y'all what up bad boys of iowa sorry we started so late and we're here and uh someone else is

asking who's live tonight uh i don't know man fuck i don't know who is live tonight uh just

keep uh listening and i'm sure you'll find out i'm curious as to who's live tonight too

so me blow guest

5 6 6 0 9 0 man

just stay tuned and we'll all find out who's

live tonight any idea

who's live tonight any idea

I don't know

you know I have

quite a few in the manhouse chat

room quite a few

okay good good so yeah like I said

before we're on syndicate

radio.tv of course syndicate

radio.tv

98.6 the mouth

And of course, we're also on prankcall.info.com.

Do you have any idea how bleeding, confusing of a URL that is, Tuck?

I mean, do you have any idea that prankcall.info.com is going to be completely impossible to figure out now?

I'm just saying, maybe, I don't know, just whatever.

Yes.

Make sure you get, I guess you can get info.

Speaking of long, convoluted stories, this is another one that,

And it's just a long convoluted that you really get into.

But for the time being, that's temporarily going to be it

until you iron out the details with the legal people, all right?

All right, well, yeah, you got your lawyers working on it, I'm sure.

So hopefully we get that straightened out because I'm just not going to have that.

But everyone listening, so we got a total of 21, 29.

We can't talk much about it, man.

We got a total of like 54 listeners right now,

which isn't bad for the fact that we started late.

So thanks, gentlemen and ladies and gentlemen.

Thank you all for that.

I'm dry.

I got a dry mouth.

I'm going to send the drink over here real quick.

So what's been going on, gentlemen?

Anything in the news, or should we just get into the pranks?

I think we just get into the pranks.

I think we've dilly-dallied in the alley enough tonight.

Oh, you don't want to hear about the stock market?

What happened to the stock market today?

All I know, end of the day at work, I was busy at work today around 5 o'clock.

A gentleman at work said, yeah, a stock market took a 300-point dive or something.

What happened exactly?

I know it rollercoastered all over the place yesterday.

What happened today exactly?

please let us know housing markets down of course well no shit housing markets housing market i

think we're gonna hit another recession it's probably because of the stupid housing market

and stupid people actually fell for all that crap subprime mortgaging and stuff like that

it's just retarded made no freaking sense when another fan didn't make sense when everybody was

getting into day trading and everybody was in in the stock market and buying tech stocks and the

The whole thing was inflated.

Everyone said, oh, I'm so cool.

I'm going to get in the stock market.

I don't know what happened.

Stupid faggots.

I hope you had fun with that.

We got a Club 99 Iraq in Beverly Hills, California.

That's really a place in Beverly Hills?

Wow, that is not a place I want to be.

Poke-O's Cookies and Ice Cream.

Yeah, the chat room over here is going to answer for you to do pranks.

Okay, yeah, I'm sure.

Let's go into that.

That's not, yeah.

It's not one and a bitch of a...

Yeah, here's another one.

um so there's a guy who a lady who a feminist who lost her job when she got caught shoplifting

excuse me and we got her number she uh where she at i don't know he doesn't give me the number for

that hey give me a number for some crazy guy in the uk i don't understand i gotta read the article

i didn't get a chance to read the article but we'll try that uh zev de zev has given me a number

for a guy calling himself big will said women call me in a porno webcam chat room called cam

webcam four the cam girl's name was trina or trinal real name tina trinal trina oh trina l

gotcha gotcha and it's a kentucky number so they got a big will in kentucky who uh who looks for

women yeah zev does that comes through with a lot of those uh uh webcam uh numbers so that they've

been really funny in the past we had that kid remember that kid that fucking kid that we called

and he got scared the kid is like oh my oh poor kid we got the kid scared

scared stupid kid that's what it gets for being a kid bitch um and we got the coco's bakery

restaurant yeah good luck kid all right so hey we're gonna we're gonna call um we're gonna call

coco's bakery restaurant in sacramento california the capital of uh what's california the bear state

or the golden state or is there just a bear on the flag what is it golden state right yeah that's

what it is california the golden state bitches all right okay here we go first perfect

the bear state the golden flag

tuck you ever have a golden flag before uh i'm not sure what it is so i can't really say

a golden flag is when a girl she pees on on the bed sheets and then she um she and you know she

gets them all covered uh in her pee and then you lay on the bed and you masturbate while she

fans you with the sheets like she she fans the sheets up and down on you after she peed on

That's a golden flag, everybody.

You heard it here first.

I haven't had that experience, I don't believe.

I heard you were into it.

I heard you asked an officer for that once.

Coco, Coco.

Coco, this is Coco.

Listen, I need two coquitos, coquito bread.

Coco's Bakery.

Listen, Coco's Bakery, two cocoa breads.

Coco bread, cocoa bread.

You have the two cocoa.

It's Portuguese.

Portuguese, Portuguese.

Coco bread.

Yeah, the cocoa bread.

Yeah, cocoa bread.

I'm not sure what you're talking about.

The brown bread that we serve?

Yeah, the cocoa bread.

Brown.

Yeah, loaf.

Loaf bread.

Cocoa.

Coming in to get them?

Yes.

No, I'm not going to come make it.

I come buy it.

You get here, we'll get you.

You have someone speak Spanish?

Because I, uh, Portuguese, Spanish, I call, I can't, I talk, I can't, I can't.

Next, everybody.

Cocoa bread.

He cook cocoa bread.

Do a space.

That's it.

Speak Spanish or English.

What did you do seriously?

Did you take the pencil and you, what, did you break it in half and play with it like

Like a little cars?

What did you do with the pencil?

Do you know what a pencil does?

Huh?

Do you know how to sign your name?

Bastards.

Sitting there like a stupid.

What's not funny about Cocoa Bread?

Fucking Cocoa Bread.

I'm in the mood for Cocoa Bread.

I wasn't laughing at Cocoa Bread.

No one likes Cocoa Bread.

That was a stupid thing.

It was a stupid thing for me to say.

Rick Moranis is running for president.

You don't say.

Milkman, get Rick Moranis on the phone.

Oh, he's not here.

Damn it.

Rick Moranis was Canadian.

Whatever he is.

If he's born in Canada

He can't be the president

From what I understand

He better check himself

Before he wrecks himself

Because I'm bad for his health

Ted guy

I don't know what a Ted guy is

I'll be quiet and listen

I need to speak to Mr. Lord

Nigel as soon as possible

It's most definitely you sir

Don't try

I have resources okay

Lord

Mr. Lord

Yeah.

See, I got you.

Because you said you're not Nigel, but I know you're Nigel because I said Mr. Lord.

And you say, yes.

So that means that you are indeed Nigel Lord, aren't you?

Mr. Lord, you have the recipe for the cocoa bread, don't you?

Yes, I do, yes.

You do have the recipe for the cocoa bread.

Now, what are you asking for for the cocoa bread?

Lunch, I'm afraid.

50 pounds?

Please, I just said succulent.

You've had it before, I'm sure.

It comes out really brown.

Coconut together, cocoa bread.

This is the best show ever.

hey guys you know i just had a thought why isn't there a jelly flavored with uh coconut

like you can make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with coconut uh coconut peanut uh

coconut jelly i think that'd be a good idea i would eat that that's kind of like a fluffernutter

work on it mark on it mom's coconut cocoa bread

is there coconut schnapps i wonder i mean i go i'd go for a fluffer fluffernutter right now

Those are good things, man.

You guys into Fluffernetters at all, any of you?

Gentlemen?

Ever had one?

Hello?

Never heard of them.

Yeah, you shits.

Fluffernetters are good.

Talking to us all about Fluffernetters.

It's Ted.

Ted, what's up, Ted?

How you doing?

Okay.

He's probably pulling the microphone out of his drawers.

All right, we're going to call the Club 99 IRAC.

Hey, the toll-free line is off.

I never opened up the toll-free line.

Oh, shit.

Let me turn that on real quick.

Hang on.

any requests you gentlemen have for a prank call anything you're thinking of us doing

or any numbers any of you here in the round table have anybody i don't think you guys have

sent me any numbers um no not no i know i got a number of a chick that likes to flash on uh

stick him if you want to call her oh geez i wonder who that is yeah sure send the number why not

we'll have fun with that have fun with those honkers honker honk or we can also call the

the porno webcom guy let's call that guy next hang on let's do that

up with this tonight man jesus christ can't get any numbers off

and the mic to work stick cams all messed up it's a curse

scrap it no show i'm thinking about it soon i'm not aborting yet i'm hoping something is

gonna come out of this man no please god something work we're gonna keep trying here hey let me let

me go ahead and get the next prank call here in the other night on the way we're gonna call

that other number didn't work all right we're gonna call pimp cut now i'm gonna call pimp cuts

i'm gonna call the wonderful dragon chinese restaurant this is in uh colorado colorado

chinese restaurant well i get that ready here we're gonna play a prank call yeah that's that's

right listen to this everybody uh it's away i'll be there can i talk to the guy back there

maybe let me ask him in person if that's okay bro put bro on okay for a gristle sandwich is that

possible this time of night what you need well you know when you make the steak right you take

that spatula you scrub all that stuff off the off the grill put it you take a piece of white bread

and you fold it in half and you run it long wise along the spatula and you take a slice of

america cheese you put it right down the house three seconds but who is this this is ralph

littlejohn we're coming from my house sir i mean you know because i'm samoan doesn't mean i'm a

I'm a piece of...

Wow, another busy line.

I'm Samoan.

I'm a Samoan.

I'm Croatian-Italian.

Oh, you're one of those.

Crystal sandwich and well steak, and I was asking him what kind of rub, but he doesn't know.

He's just a kid, that guy.

He's a kid.

Steak meats.

Do you have steak meats?

No, no, no, don't hang up.

Don't hang up.

No, don't do that.

I am going to hang up.

Listen, listen, I'm the owner.

You don't hang up.

You take your papers, you roll them up tight, you shove them in your ass, Croatian.

I'm Serbian. I'm Serbian.

I'm a Serbian, you bastard.

Isn't that fun?

That's a prank call from December the 6th, 2007.

I've called it, I'm one of those bucket of boners.

Why? Because he says his line, and it's just the only thing that I can figure out that he said.

I think this is where he says it.

Bucket of boners.

Isn't that what it sounds like? I'm one of those bucket of boners?

What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

I'm one of those bucket of boners.

Bucket of boners?

I'm Samoan. I'm a Samoan.

You sound boring, Sam.

Oh, you're one of those.

Bucket of Boners.

Those are talking over.

Yeah, but yeah, one of those Bucket of Boners.

What the fuck is that about, right?

Anyway, here's the good news.

While I was sitting here, I got a call from the real Eddie Garcia.

And we're actually going to call the real Eddie Garcia.

Hang on.

Let me get him on the line here real quick.

We've got an exclusive interview here with the...

Hello?

I think maybe he was trying to call in and I couldn't hear the ringer.

Oh, shit. Imagine that. The ringer was off. I didn't even realize that. That sucks.

Let me tell him to call back here on the mouth line.

Again, this is the real Eddie Garcia. Long time fans of this show know what we're talking about.

Maybe I'll play one of his calls later.

But I want to discuss a story with him on the air.

Hey, man. Can you try again? I had the ringer off. My bad.

All right, man. Thanks.

All right. That's him. That's the real. And it doesn't sound anything like it.

And you guys won't understand, but his stories of this gentleman here are part of the reason.

They are the crux of a lot of the manhouse prank calls that have occurred.

So, yeah, there he is.

Manhouse Radio, Eddie.

Hey, what's going on, brother?

How you doing, man?

I'm good.

What's good?

I'm surprised you never call me, man.

What's going on?

What you up to tonight?

You just got free time?

Nothing.

I'm calling to see what you're doing.

I wanted to meet you this Friday, Friday, Thursday.

It's almost over.

It's not almost over.

I'm just having a lot of technical issues.

But you're actually on the air right now.

You're being listened to by, let me do a grand count here, 21, 30.

Well, I figured.

That's why you have me call a number.

How's everyone doing tonight?

Everybody's good.

Wow, we've got 64 listeners live right now,

and then there will be about another 100 that pick it up on the podcast next on the weekend.

So it's a good deal, man.

I wanted you on.

The reason I wanted to talk to you is that we need to talk about what is probably one of the greatest prank calls that I've ever done.

I don't think you've ever known that you were unwittingly a part of it.

Do you have any idea what I might be talking about?

I have the slightest clue, because I remember a lot of the prank calls you did.

Yeah, all right.

I mean, to put one as the greatest hit, I have no idea which one.

Okay, we're going to go back to 2000, the year 2000, and you came over to my house once,

and we had stopped hanging out for a while after I got in a relationship with that one bitch.

And then you came over and you said, you remember Michael Seitz, right?

You remember the kid, the really dumb kid that went to the army, right?

How could I forget Michael Seitz? The guy was an idiot.

Okay, right. So this guy joins the army, right?

And he's out in the middle of the field in Bosnia, from what I understand.

Oh, my God, I remember this.

This shit's funny.

He's out.

I remember you telling me about this.

Oh, well, you...

You talked to Fly and...

Yeah, I called the kid who's in the army, this dumb, dumb kid.

I have no idea he's in Bosnia.

I thought he was in the army.

I thought he was, like, stationed somewhere in the States.

this is before 9-11, so there was no war at the time, I was like, maybe he's in Germany, or

something, or maybe he's in, you know, some base in, you know, Georgia, Fort Stewart, or something

like that, so I call up, and I'm like, yeah, is this Michael Seitz's residence, and so I was like,

oh, yeah, and I said, oh my god, there's been a horrible accident, and then I just hung up,

because I got, I thought it was, that was, this is, I felt bad, and I hung up the phone,

so two days later, you come over, you're like, yeah, so apparently someone called, and then

So, Mike's dad got scared and called the Army base,

and then they sent a helicopter out in the middle of the field to pick him up.

So, do you remember exactly what happened?

I don't remember it much, but I know it involved a helicopter going to pick him up in the middle of the war

to bring him back to verify he was still alive.

Yeah, I mean, honestly, it was a long-ass time ago.

But I do remember, like, I remember Mark's mother being pissed.

I remember Sly, I remember he had gotten mad because, you know, he thought something had, like, happened to him.

I don't remember what he thought had happened.

It was just like, you know, like, you know, somebody called and he had disconnected.

Maybe there was some kind of, you know, like, I don't know if he thought there was some kind of shit from the Army.

And, yeah, I remember wherever he was staying, he was like, I think he was, like, South America.

He was from South America.

South America.

Yeah.

Because that's where he went.

That's where he went AWOL.

I don't know if you even knew.

Yeah, he went AWOL, and then he showed up a year later.

He was married or something.

Something weird like that, right?

Right? Something weird happened?

Something like, well, he was married already with some chick when he met an army.

He was pregnant.

Then he fell in love with some other chick down there.

He was teaching all them people down there how to speak English.

He was like, the English is like, you know, right?

The call he did, and I remember people were like, you know,

you know, people were kind of funny.

Remember specifically you said there was a chopper involved.

I was like, oh, my fucking God.

I was like, holy.

And I played it off cool.

I was like, damn, so he's all right?

right, because I think it was almost like Sly sent you to find out if it was me or

not, kind of thing, like, I was like, oh, shit, because I thought, like, he's like,

yeah, Sly sent, he's going to call the cops, and I was like, oh, man, I'm in trouble, you

know, I got all, I got all nervous, wow, so, what was the outcome of that, like, did they

finally verify, I mean, what, did, did his dad ever know it was me, or did they pretty

much figure out, he never knew it was you, but he figured it, I mean, he figured it must

have been some kind of a hoax, you know, because, obviously, the people in the military

They're like, no, there's nothing wrong with your son, you know.

Nobody called.

You know, why would we call you, you know?

Yeah, why would we call him?

The guy needed help.

Excuse me.

I was too scared to buy any sauce anyways.

Is he done with that?

The guy sells barbecue sauce.

Did he stop that ever?

I don't know.

A little bit of money he made on it.

I think he kind of squandered.

As far as I know, he's not really working.

So the guy, for everybody who doesn't know, we're talking about Uncle Sly's.

What was the original recipe?

What was it called?

It was Uncle Sly's Gourmet Barbecue Sauce.

Yeah, it was basically ketchup mixed with a bunch of coarse radish and stuff, right?

Yeah, it was a good sauce.

Then he had the Uncle Sly's Gourmet Salad Dressing.

Which is the barbecue sauce with mayonnaise.

Yeah, well, the steak sauce, to this day, that bastard, I sat there once in that garage with him.

To this day, that bastard, I sat there once in that damn garage.

This guy, he was making his own barbecue sauce, and I sat there once, and I said, hey, Sly, man, why don't you, you know where the big thing is, is in steak sauce now.

Everybody's crazy about steak sauce.

I love steak sauce.

You should make a steak sauce.

And I said, oh, think about that, Carlos.

All right, I'm going to think about that.

sure enough three months three four months later he i i i you know we used to always go to the

movie theater on saturdays and i go pick you guys up i'm like what's going on at sly's house man

everyone's oh big big cookout barbecue and all this stuff like yeah sly's uh debuting his um

his on his barbecue sauce i'm like man the guy didn't even he the least he could have done was

invited me so i could have had some ribs or something with his new barbecue sauce with his

new steak sauce after i gave him the idea i mean he didn't invite me the whole thing i felt so

heard about that. That was the beginning of the end

between me and Sly.

After that, I didn't even get a little

piece of steak. I was like, man.

I wasted a lot of time on that guy, man.

I tried to help him out with his inventions

and stuff like that.

His rich, quick schemes.

I mean, I don't know. I wasted a whole summer

doing that. I don't know why.

He's a good guy, though. He means well.

He's just trying. He's good people.

I heard our friend

Pat was upstate, and he moved away

to North Carolina or something like that.

What was it? Tennessee.

he's in Tennessee

wow

no he got with

you know

his father's girlfriend

yeah

that's cool

now they're together

alright cool

cool

his brother

no that's fine

that's fine

no I just want to tell you

I'm about to do a prank call here

I want to see if you want to stand

I want to see if you want to stand in line

while I do it

it's like old times

we used to do this all the time

I remember we used to prank call people

all the time

in high school

I remember

you used to call them people on TV

yeah

I used to call

what was that

dad I wish I had those recorded

and you played that

you played that little mythical CD

yeah

Yeah, I played the bit.

And they're like, man.

Man, them niggas can't fuck with you, man.

It was a conservative TV station.

Yeah, the black guy's like,

Cole, you're on the air.

Man, them niggas can't fuck with you, man.

It was gay.

Yeah, it was a talk show TV station.

It was all conservatives,

all Republicans and stuff.

It was this black Republican guy.

Yeah, I used to call him all the time

and goof on him.

He'd get pissed off.

I remember they banned me from that station.

But I remember you recorded it, too.

Yeah, because I could record it on my VCR.

Yeah, there was that one senator.

I asked him, like,

what's wrong with your hair?

and he ended up getting arrested, like, in 99 or something.

He was all involved in the whole, yeah, he ended up getting, like,

censored and arrested for tax evasion or something.

Long story.

Anyway.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I'm going to call England.

This guy's name is Arthur Rock.

And, hey, guys, what time is it in England right now?

What is it, 6 o'clock, 5 o'clock, 5.30 in the morning,

4.30 in the morning or something, I think?

You can't hear them, man.

I think it's a five-hour time difference.

Yeah.

I think it's, like, 4.30.

It's probably 4.30.

It's 4.30.

It's confirmed, Eddie.

It's 4.30.

to go. Eddie gets a gold star. All right, cool. All right, hang on, everybody. Arthur

Rock in just a moment. This is Carlito and Eddie. Eddie, I named a character after you,

by the way, called Eddie Garcia. You don't know about that either. Okay. It's a mix

of you and Michael Seitz. His name is Eddie Garcia. I retired him about a year ago, but

we did a lot of prank calls that were very popular. You missed out on those, all right?

Oh, all right. All right, so I'll have to send you those calls later on. You see what

I'm talking about. Anyway, I'm going to play some Biggie Smalls here now. I'm going to

pleasant bismarcky hang on everybody hang on don't go anywhere

story in my situation i was talking to this girl from the u.s nation the way that i met her was on

tour that concert she had long hair and a short miniskirt i just got on stage dripping porn with

sweat i was walking through the crowd and guess who i met i whispered in the air come to the

See, this is worse, because all the numbers are busy.

Mr. Rock, how are you, my good sir?

I've got a message from the United States of America.

We're the United States of America.

That is odd.

I am the United States of America, and you owe us a favor,

so prepare yourself to write down these orders, sir.

He's just going to hang up.

Do you have a dollar?

He's like, I don't know.

We've talked to that guy before.

That sounds familiar.

He just freaks out on the phone when I call him every time.

All right, Eddie, man.

Hey, thanks for being on the show.

I appreciate it.

You had to come here.

You said you have Thursdays off, right?

Well, usually Thursdays off, yeah.

Like today I work sometimes, so I was there for the most part.

Well, next Thursday, man, the next Thursday you got off, give me a call before, like the

day before or the afternoon, and I'll make sure I let you know how to get over here.

We can hang out for a while and do the show, man.

It'd be cool to have you on here.

All right.

Well, I've been pretty strapped for sending you the message.

Yeah, did you get my message about the job opening that I heard about?

You told me you heard about somebody.

You never actually told me where.

So I'll give you a call back.

Yeah, I'll get you the info on your place.

All right, Eddie, take care, man.

Thanks for calling, bro.

Talk to you, man.

Yeah, no problem.

Talk to you soon.

That was cool.

I haven't talked to him.

I used to hang out with that guy.

He was like my boy back in the day.

Always me and Eddie.

Eddie and Carlito.

Eddie and Carlos.

Sitting in a tree.

F-U-C-K-I-H.

All right.

Anyway.

So what are you guys into?

Milkman is here.

Milkman, what's up, bro?

You got your mic on?

it's been a dark and slow day man it's been it's it's been a dark night god no man no i've had a

lot of technical issues it's crazy my ass is worn out you too all right yeah and i'm gonna be in

the show soon it's been a not been a good night house radio you're in the air go ahead yeah yeah

hello radio this is solar vision.com what's up man that's not the website what's up bro how you

you doing man okay bro we're gonna some prank as we definitely can i got a guy named big will who

wants to hook up with people in the porno webcam chat room right so they heard that uh you got the

big will also so they're trying to pay you double uh what huh i got the big i said they heard you

yeah sure man i still it's it's flying right over my head i'm sorry dude but i'm trying to grasp it

i can't all right let's do it let's do it all right man how you doing anyway man what's up

up with you pretty much just same old business you know every time friday rolls around i do a

stupid show and everybody says they like it so that's cool yeah it is a good show everyone

should listen to that shit man i listen every friday not last friday because i was out but

yeah i hear you i catch the show every time i'm in the house man i'm watching you cool man all

right enough of the ass kiss let's get to the prank all right do you need me to send you the

info on this guy do you have it already is that what you're trying to say right i don't know

exactly what it was i'm not up on it all right hang on let me send it to you here there you go

I'll send it to you right now on AOL, so be sure to look out for that.

I don't have it now.

Would you like me to dial it or you dial it?

I'll take care of it, bro.

You just sit back, relax, and enjoy yourself, all right, man?

Zolar with an excremental prank call coming right up, everybody.

Don't go anywhere.

It's a big win.

I got your number.

I'm actually in your area.

I'm calling on my cell phone right now.

Because we got one who's European in Fit Phil with a PH in the Fit.

Okay.

All right, I'll dial that one here.

talk to a cam girl named Alexia.

Ooh, that's kind of a hot name.

I'd go for that.

I don't know.

Hang on.

And we've got to talk about the future,

you said, after this,

so don't go anywhere.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Future.

I got an actual fucking code going on,

like one of these flu things going,

but you dial it and I'll tune up.

All right, man, you got it.

And so change of plans.

Hey, Zolar, man,

you sound kind of huffy.

Yeah, I'm congested.

I tell you, I got a flu.

Pseudofedrine, man.

Find something.

It's hard to find,

but that's some good stuff.

There's some stuff.

I got it, I got it.

I just have to pick it up tomorrow.

Okay, good, good.

Do that.

All right, hang on, man.

We'll try to get this one working.

It's been a slow night.

I'm not being negative.

You told me I got to work on that.

Don't say negative things about my show.

Yeah, it's nice to see you out here, you know.

It's all good.

We know it's not easy.

No, it's not.

It's not fucking easy.

All right, hang on, man.

No, it's the next seat.

It's the wrong number.

Am I not?

I'm calling from America.

This is a long distance.

All over the...

Getting anywhere with me?

No, you're not getting anywhere with me.

It's four o'clock in the morning and I was asleep.

Oh, saucy.

Let me try her again.

She's got to pick up again.

Well, what I've learned is that in England,

they rent out some of the rooms.

It's kind of like what we call a bed and breakfast here.

And then the hotel is, you know, the hotel.

But a hotel is a hotel.

We learn something new every day, don't we?

And for some reason, I'll call pubs, and pubs are almost the same thing.

They're like, you know, a house.

So it's like a residence

But they also serve alcohol there

To the general public or something

Yeah, so you learn something every day

Those people, they have a very nice culture there

You know, they open up their houses

They're very warm

Yeah, they don't like to be called

They don't like to be called

What did she say?

I said cunt

But she was more mad about dick?

No, she got

Fucking, I think it was

She didn't get past the F word

She didn't get to the cunt word

Oh yeah, that's that middle line right now

Yeah, all she heard was the F word

She was like

Man, if she would have heard you say the C word

She would have been all over that

Should I call her back and apologize?

Yeah, let's do it.

I'm going to call her back right now.

Zolar, you know what?

Good for you, Zolar.

Look at Zolar here apologizing.

Aw.

Zolar, you get your first ever gold star.

Good deal.

There you go.

All right, we're going to play a song.

He's a man of the people.

He's a man of the people, Tuck says.

Look at that.

Tuck likes you now.

All right, hang on, folks.

Once again, the spread eagle in.

That's what she said.

Put it in the spread eagle.

And thank you to Milkman for providing the phone card we're using.

See, Baz is joining in.

Milkman's good people.

Milkman rocks.

Yeah, he does.

God bless Milkman.

Yo.

Yo, Baz.

Why are you following this shit?

I'm not familiar with making off with yourself, dude.

It's one of your daughters.

First of all, fuck off.

This has that guts to it, man.

Guts.

He was ready to take the apology, too.

Yeah, he was all ready for it.

Then you slipped the tongue in, man.

The slip in the tongue.

You knew I was going to do that.

But anyway, speaking about slipping the tongue, you and your significant other, Athena, is

her name, is it not?

That's the one.

So you and her have been slipping the tongue back and forth for how long now?

Oh, God.

Three interesting years, yes.

Three interesting years, and at one time she had gone away to do, like, a green type for a certain amount of time, had she not?

Six months gone, that's right, that's right.

Actually, two years ago, today she left, as a matter of fact.

I remember that.

That was a very interesting time.

Yeah, but Greenpeace, was it?

No, it was Greenpeace.

It was fucking really honorable.

Yeah.

So, did she have a lot of adventures that she had told you from that?

Not really.

Nothing?

Well, yeah, I mean, they put her through a lot of training.

Like, they teach them how to repel from buildings she got to do.

Yeah, it was kind of wicked, because, like, you know, they do all the, you know, all that, not terrorism, but they do all the activism, you know what I'm talking about?

Like, they'll hang banners from buildings.

Right, but I thought they get, like, big ships trying to stop the whalers and stuff like that.

Yeah, they have, they use speedboats, and they have, like, one big ship that they use, too, for the whaling, and they have speedboats for other stuff.

And she actually got trained on how to use high-speed boats on water and stuff like that.

They trained her in that.

Yeah, and they trained her in, like, protesting and stuff like that.

Like, what to do when you're in a protest and the police come to beat you.

Like, what you should do to protect yourself and keep yourself from getting in any more trouble than you should.

It's, like, really, really cool stuff.

Yeah, they taught her.

Would that be drop down to the floor in fetal position to cover the back of your head?

Basically.

Basically, drop down into the position and cry for your mom, basically.

Well, there's something like when you're all lined up,

you're supposed to link all your arms together and you get down on your knees.

Right.

You know, and, yeah.

I'm making light of it.

Yeah, I know.

So what I was getting at is that she's a very adventurous person,

and all throughout her relationship, correct?

She's had a regular relationship with the little ups and downs.

That hasn't been a type of thing, yeah.

We're going to marry.

since uh since august was it august july or august no it was july i'm sorry july july middle

people that are outside watching and listen come in the room nobody will boot you as long

as that's like wow over it's 18 months away man that's gonna be may of 2009

that's right that's yeah that's right i was meaning to make that uh special thing i talk

about but thank you for letting the cat out the bag it's okay no it's okay no may yeah may uh

May 20...

God, I forgot that.

I think it's May 21st, 2009.

I figured that would be the last show

of Madhouse Radio.

All right, well, there you go.

An exclusive right here on Carlito's Madhouse.

2.6, the mouth.

Closer than...

The one I do, it's 98.7.

You got an extra degree, 0.1 degree.

All right, man.

Yes, sir.

Here's the deal.

The way it's looking right now,

I'm going to be getting married in Pennsylvania.

So, I'm going to be coming up.

My bachelor party is going to be

two nights before the actual wedding.

and I'm planning on holding it live in a location.

Let's see, I don't know where yet.

I have to find a place, maybe a bar or something,

probably in Pennsylvania, maybe like the Philly area.

I don't know, somewhere where a lot of people can come see it.

People from New York can come down.

I know some of the people, like the dad said he wants to come down.

Andy was the old co-host on the show.

He's my best man. He's going to be there.

Milkman's in the wedding.

He's going to be flying up, so he's going to be there for this big show.

Lonesome Loser said he's going to try to make it.

He's in Pennsylvania, so he's close.

I know Joop and his brother said they'd come, you know, for the show.

So all people going way back from Mark.

That's right.

Yeah, I always get confused between Mark and Matt.

I just know Joop.

So I know that Mark and Matt, so I always want to respect them, not say the wrong one.

Anyway, I know DTT says he wants to come down for this.

So, yeah, it's going to be, I'm planning on doing a live show.

We're going to do live prank calls somewhere where we can all hang out and drink beers and get loud.

And I'm going to try to get a live band of some sort.

I'm thinking maybe a goofy band, maybe a polka band, a mariachi band, maybe a jazz band, you know, get some old black people to play jazz, you know, in the background instead of playing the music like I do now.

Something like, you know, I want to make like this one big kind of cool event and that'll be it for a while, at least a few years until I get settled and then maybe I'll come back to doing live calls, doing live pranks or something.

I don't know.

Milkman said he'll keep the show going himself.

He'll be more than capable at that point.

We've got our crew still here.

I'm sure the show will continue, but not with me for at least a year,

at the very least a year.

So that's the plan.

It'll be a hiatus at that point.

Indefinite hiatus, basically, let's say.

I'm not ruling out that I'm not going to come back in a year.

Maybe I'll come back the next week.

Who knows?

You know me.

I might just be like, eh.

Right, right.

One never knows anything until it actually happens.

But no matter what, it's going to be a big show because it's going to be the bachelor party show live,

and I want it on video, on stick cam, if stick cam is still around,

if it's something else we're using in 2009, whatever it is.

We're going to have, like, a Peruvian nude.

It depends.

If we hold it in a strip club, we can do that.

If we hold it in a bar, I don't know.

I don't know if we can do that.

Maybe we could rent out a hotel conference room and have strippers and music and all that and an open bar.

Is Athena amendable to that?

Well, yeah, she's totally open with it because she gets her own thing and I get my own thing, so it's all right.

All right.

Well, I mean, that would be the apropos thing to the bachelor party.

That's right.

It's a bachelor party.

Come on.

How am I going to have a bachelor party and not have, you know,

especially if you're there, we have to have the nudity.

Of course, it has to be there.

It has to be straight.

Right, right, right.

Of course.

So, anyway, that's terrific.

Now, I mean, you know, that's good news, and we can actually dwell on that.

What are you getting at?

I'm just getting at, I mean, like, you know.

Kids?

I'm not ready for that yet.

No, no, no.

Oh, God.

No, yeah.

Yeah, but it just happens.

That's how it always is.

No one ever says that.

Yeah, I'm sure when you had your kid.

No, no, that was my next question.

I mean, you know, do you, because.

She takes her chemical precautions, let's say.

Like you'll be married for how long before?

Oh, man, I don't know.

I'm looking for at least two, three years maybe.

But like I said, it happens.

It happens.

How can it happen if she's on the pill or something, dude?

How can it happen?

Like, you know, she would only have to fucking.

She could have tricked me.

She could have forgotten to take it.

I don't know.

Maybe, I don't know.

Maybe the effectiveness goes away, you know, if we've all heard the stories.

All right, okay, all right.

So, any on for a scene for at least two to three?

Exactly, two to three.

Question, and then always the four.

All right, Zoe, so here's my, how old is your kid right now?

You have one kid, one boy, right?

When's it born, you got two girls, all right?

The oldest, is it teenage years, or we're talking younger, right?

What was that like when you had the 12?

I mean, was that, were you, how, so you were how, I'm sorry, I don't mean to ask how old you are.

Were you in your 20s still when that, when he came around, or what was that like, if I may ask?

Not a good time.

You're not, you're still in your 30s, right?

Are you in your 40s, or?

I'm 40, Carl.

You're 40, exactly.

All right, so let's say you had a 12-year-old.

So you were 28, so you were my age when you had your first kid.

Wow.

See, I wouldn't be ready for that yet.

I just, I couldn't, I don't know what I would do.

Well, I thought it was an excellent time in my life

because we have enough energy to compete with.

See,

See, I haven't touched it.

Two people just came back in.

There's people coming back in right now.

I don't know what happened to me.

Oh, I see.

You got it right back up.

I didn't know how you did that.

I didn't even touch it.

It left and it came back up on its own.

I don't understand what's going on.

It's on those bitch.

Stick Cam does that shit.

I'm listening off of Stick Cam, so it's okay, man.

Don't worry about it.

Yeah, it's nice, man.

All KDK fans or whatever.

You know, I want to clear the air here.

You know, I'm cool with Zolar.

Me and Zolar, we've been getting along for a long time.

I'll tell you what, Zolar, I want to thank you because when this whole thing finally went down with KDK,

when I realized, you know, this is enough, enough is enough, you were very gracious.

You opened up.

You helped me and the rest of the listeners, basically, of Madhouse out because you got us the in on Syndicate.

kid and i've got nothing but good things to say about about that and good things to say about

dean and everybody over there so i really point is i don't want any of those people like you know

tucker mike or any of them who fucking you know picked a different way to go hey oh shit well

now i can't show my face come on over right now carlitos has 160 live fans out of your screen

it will tell you how many live viewers are right this moment oh yeah i see that there that's

actually pretty impressive look at that tell me tell me man how impressive is that it is you

You see, and that's why I said it's a good thing to be on Syndicate.

It's good.

It's nothing but good things.

I want all those guys to come on over here and get in the chat room.

Yeah, there we are.

No, I was getting at, you know, don't be afraid.

That's true.

If you remember Zolar from the old KDK days,

and you haven't heard him in a while,

you know, you're missing out on a good show on Friday nights,

is all I got to say.

Yeah, even what's his face?

Ted.

You know, I don't care.

I never fucking really went around there.

All right, Zolar.

You know, I'll be honest with you.

This whole thing, this whole show and last show goes as planned.

I'm looking most forward to meeting Lonesome Loser

Just to see how the guy does it

I'm hoping he might set up a laptop there

Or whatever it is that he does

And he shows us live

While we're doing our show

I want to see how he does his confirmation

It would be awesome to see that in person

Hey dude, I don't mean to fucking

Play that down in any way

Because you know you're preaching to the choir

When we're talking about Lonesome

You are now number fucking one

You have 150 listeners

And nobody's got anything higher

or on the entire stick camp.

Well, hey, stick camp, thanks for having us on.

Thanks to you, syndicate.

All right.

All right, I just want to say for everybody who's out there,

come on in the room and subscribe.

All right, Zolar, take care, man.

Adios.

Zolar, and I see the effeminate kid Corey is here.

Corey, how you doing, man?

No words from Corey.

Speak.

Perhaps I've upset him.

Guys, I'm ending the show.

It's been a wacky, weird, uneventful show,

but it's been good nonetheless.

Milkman, are you there?

Do you want to take us out of here, man?

I know you weren't here for much of it, but you can.

Quickly, make it quickly.

Open, open.

Hello, hello, hello, man.

Well, I guess I missed everything once again, so I have not a clue what to say.

We'll do it.

We'll listen.

To all of our friends over here at the Madhouse, and we love you, and we thank you so much for tuning in.

And look forward to getting another show on with you very soon.

So stay tuned right here to 98.6 in the mouth.

And all the insanity that we call the Madhouse are generally similar.

Leader of the Madhouse, Hermano, my friend, my brother, back to you.

All right, thanks, Milkman.

Milkman, make sure you call me after the show, okay, man?

No kidding.

You got to call me.

I got to talk to you, man.

All right, cool, man.

All right, call the house.

Call the house.

Call the mouth line, all right?

All right, everybody, we're out of here.

The house, the Madhouse house.

I want to thank, I see Ted was here.

I don't think Ted ever got to join in, but Ted, thanks for showing up, man.

I want to thank Zolar for calling in.

want to thank uh the real eddie garcia for calling in can't take that call because i really got to go

offline show's over brandon vegas baz the warrior tuck all of you want some lujas we said already

before man thanks for everything everyone who's sending numbers zeb is evident uh we tried your

cam numbers uh one of them worked one of them didn't thanks for sending them in new new we

didn't get to his numbers man there's three new there's new new and new new new is a wanker

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, he's a wanker

Yeah, he is a wank

When did he get to his level?

Were you able to try the tattoo parlor in Saipan that I sent you?

No, I didn't, I didn't actually

You're an extreme wank job

Oh, crap, man

You should do that next week

Yeah, I will

Hang on, let me see the, uh, okay

Fuck, dude

Sorry, man

I will get to it

El Draco tattoo in Saipan

No problem

They do some pretty wicked looking tribal tattoos

I like tribal tattoos, those are cool

I love tribal tattoos

All right, everybody, we're out of here

Alright we'll catch you next week

Thanks everybody

And Tuck what is that URL again

Prankcall.info.com

And that's

D-O-T

I got it

We got it

Prankcall Radio

Anyway just Tuck

Look up Tuck

Tuck's Revolution

Revolution. The Revolutuck

show is on Saturdays. Yeah, Revolutuck.

Sundays. Is that what it's called? Revolutuck.

Sunday. Sunday. Sunday. Sunday.

Sunday. Alright, we're out of here. Bye, everybody.

We'll catch you next week. Next

week. I read.

Chuncha Chuncha.

Oh, where'd it go?

Have your pencils ready.

Number two.

Radio is live Thursday nights

at 10 p.m. Eastern. Why don't you shut

the hell up? Fuck you! Fuck you!

Fucking dick! Be sure to visit us

online at madhouselive.com.

Calls (7, 15 min of 1 h 8 min)

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