2008-01-24 Show

Who the fuck is this?

You're listening to the

House Radio Podcast.

You're fucking fresh!

Thank you for all y'all's enjoyment.

Little, little ditty that I wrote with

came across through the hydro.

Greg grews in a whole lot of hydro

and who you do with

and all that stuff.

Yeah, I said it's really.

I don't know this song that will

Hey everybody, how you doing?

What's up?

It's Carlito.

Yeah.

Oh man.

I have no video tonight.

night no video the camera's not working you can't see my six ass tonight sorry

oh you let down talk about the whole thing you know talk you gotta talk you're in the you're

in the hot seat tonight because milkman isn't here it's up to you to be annoying come on don't let

the people down madhouse radio is on live it is 10 13 p.m eastern standard time and uh we're here

here to do a show we're excited about the show and i hope you are too as i said just a second ago

the milkman isn't available tonight i'm just coming on i do know that tuck is here tuck what's

going on tuck oh hey hey everybody's here you finally here ah yeah hi i see brandon vegas is

in the house brandon vegas all right that's brandon vegas everybody all right yeah this

This train is going full steam ahead tonight.

Full steam ahead.

That's the steam right there.

Steam powered here tonight on 98.6 The Mouth.

98.6 The Mouth.

Thank you everybody who's listening to us.

We're on the Madhouse Radio Network, SyndicateRadio.tv, syndicators, mount up.

Thank you everybody in there.

I'm sorry that I don't have video working tonight, but for some reason every week for

For the last three weeks, the drivers for my webcam just seemed to uninstall themselves.

And tonight, you know, I said instead of starting the show an hour late like I had to last week while I figured that out,

installed the drivers, restarted everything, and got everything all set up again.

You're organizing everything.

Yeah.

Well, instead of doing that, I decided just to do the show without camera for once, for one week.

I'm very sorry.

You don't need it.

It's a radio.tv.

Well, it's syndicate radio.tv talk.

You wouldn't know about that because, you know, you just heard about them or something.

I heard you on Tuck's show.

I heard you on the Tuck's show.

I heard you on the Zolar show, the Zolar Party Nation on Friday.

Wow, Tuck, thank you for being on there.

Yeah, they called in, so I called in, and they've been a good gentleman.

And, yeah, love to everybody, all sides, all colors, all confederations.

Yeah, I hear that.

Imagine no countries living here today.

day all of us you know one of the good things of the fact that i'm not on um on video on stick cam

is i can do whatever i want and i can't get in trouble for it so unlike uh lego lego got uh

something happened last night i had lego last night that was bullshit he didn't do anything

he was just on and all of a sudden he was off i think that's all i can really say about it

talk maybe we'll talk about on the after show that's been going around everywhere here lately

yeah i mean they're on and they're just off i don't want to i don't want to bring it up

because i don't want certain people perhaps or maybe monitoring uh what's going on in the

syndicate uh side of things to to get upset or nothing like that i'm just saying that lego did

not deserve to be disrespected like it was last night by some by some people out there and at

least he was still able to do his show but i'm happy to be on syndicate tonight and hopefully

that doesn't happen again with me because i would be really pissed off if i couldn't be on syndicate

it anyway uh and of course be sure to visit madhouse live.com if you want to call in toll

free tonight so i had a burrito man i've got some acid reflux uh that's 1-888-278-8509 is the toll

free line for us tonight once again that's 1-888-278-8509 the toll free line it is free

for united states of america and canadia listeners call in tonight and be heard okay not england no

Well, not England. It's too expensive, man.

It's like a dollar a minute.

Well, I don't care that much about England.

Suck him.

Yeah, I told Nunu, hey, Nunu, if you want to call in, I'll pay for your call.

You can call in.

He never wants to call in.

He's a chicken.

He's a chicken shit.

He's a chicken yellow shit.

That's Nunu over there.

That's his mating call.

I see Saigon's in the house.

What's up, Saigon?

Lonesome loser has just arrived.

The loser of the lonesomes is here in the house.

I don't know what's up with Milkman, to be honest with you.

I haven't talked to the gentleman in, like, four days.

Let's try to call Milkman here in the mouth line.

See if we can get Milkman here in the line.

Tuck, go ahead and tell everybody about your show, please, while we dial up the Milkman.

Riverloo Tuck, prankcall.info.com, or just go to pcu.com and hit the PCI stream up there.

That's right.

Good.

So check that out.

On Sundays.

Is that the original website?

Is it back now?

It's in a black hole vortex.

Keep my light glass and bullshit.

We got Milkman here in the line again.

Next one.

Nunu says, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, Niaz.

Very nice.

Thank you, Nunu.

Thank you for that, too.

Beautiful.

It's beautiful, beautiful things you say that come out of your mouth.

Fingers, I guess, really.

He's not talking.

Yeah, technically.

He's typing.

He's definitely saying it.

Milkman sucks so bad his phone doesn't even ring.

I'm going to try calling him again, bastard.

I thought that was backwards.

What's been going on in the news?

Heath Ledger is dead.

the joker has yeah what up with that shit the fucking joker is dead man i see gangrene's in

your gangrene what's going on you mexican fuck what you're talking about man

god you are mexican aren't you sounds it sounds you're calling like from like from the inside of

a freight train car so you're being smuggled across the border or something you poked holes

Speaking of which, whatever happened to Crazy Fucker?

Crazy Fucker, if you're out there, man, give us a call.

We're worried about you, bro.

Anyway.

So, yeah, Heath Ledger's dead.

Any thoughts?

Chuck, you're a comic book aficionado, and he's going to be the new Joker.

I've seen the first five minutes or first four minutes that were leaked out of the movie

of the next Batman movie with the late Heath Ledger, I suppose.

Have you been following this?

Any of you who are in here, Gane Green, Tug, Brandon,

any of you following this story?

The death I've been following,

I knew they were doing a new Batman,

and I knew there was some jokers involved in it,

but I didn't put it together.

There was Heath Ledger, and then suddenly he dies.

And it's kind of reminiscent of when Jason Lee died

During the making of

The Crow

Back in the 90's

Brandon Lee

Yeah

Brandon Lee

Brandon Lee got

You know

There weren't blanks

There were

There were supposed to be blanks

Or they weren't in the gun

Or the blanks actually shot

Or something

And he got killed

In the filming of the first show

Yeah

Craziness

Yeah

Well anyways

It's not the same thing

But it's kind of similar

Yeah

They did

They found a rolled up

$20 bill

What does that mean

and i found up a rolled up $20 bill but there's no drug residue on it maybe he was getting ready

to use it and maybe he just had a heart attack maybe he just you know went oh and he died

you know what just happens he's $20 blowjob no he's getting like a thousand dollar blowjobs for

sure man yeah when you got that i see skelliot checking in from the australia hey man what's

up australian thank you for being on and we had a nice conversation yesterday nice young man

talking about prank calls and how he found our show on shoutcast and he was listening during

the week and now he's listening live wow yeah that's the ot y y y yeah yeah all right so uh

trying to do prank calls all right good we've got dwarf citrus farm prank calls what are those

trying to call milkman on the other line here maybe he'll pick up this one last try

it's a milkman theme here we got dwarf citrus farms doodle creative films

Holmes, Quickie Mart, Quickie Bar, Tug, Raven, Doughboy's Bakery, Reddick Assembly of God.

Reddick Assembly of God.

If that's not a black church, I don't know what is.

That's a stupid little guy there.

Mark Pye's Walkin' Grill, Rocky Hollow Lodge and Cottages.

You got a lot of...

Hey, Milkman, it's Carlito and this is Tuck, and we're all waiting for you.

So, I'm sorry I haven't talked to you in four days.

Woo!

Party, party!

I'm very sorry.

I didn't mean to, you know, ignore you and stuff, but I've just been busy.

Please give me a call because the show started and we're wondering where you are.

So fucking call, Milkman.

And if you want to reach us on AOL or Instant Messenger, it's Madhouse Radio.

Madhouse Radio on AOL, Instant Messenger.

And if you're using Yahoo, Instant Messenger, it is Madhouse Radio as well.

Okay, anyway, prank calls.

We're going to call the Dwarf Citrus Farms.

This is in Kilgore, Texas.

The Dwarf Citrus Farms in Texas.

Everybody stand by for this here.

Enjoy this little tune that I put together for you all myself.

This isn't it.

Is that a tune?

Talk.

No.

Did you beatbox it?

There we go.

This is the tune.

All right, we're right back with the first prank of the night.

Dwarf Citrus Farms on the mouth and the arm.

The arm is here tonight.

You know, Jim Stewart said he was going to be here tonight.

He's not here.

The wire.

Trumpets go down.

Another, a different phone.

He's got a new phone in my SIM card.

That's not good.

What's going on?

Is this the Citrus Farm?

Can you call back in the morning?

Not really, because I got something going on in the morning.

I just wanted to ask about the...

I don't understand you.

Young? What's going on? Is this the citrus farm?

Yes, I have a connection. We're down in the greenhouses. I can barely hear you.

Are you getting some frost tonight?

Excuse me?

Are you getting some frost tonight?

You are?

Because I was interested if you have any of that citrus here that gets bruised up.

I like bruised up, you know, citrus.

I like frostbitten citruses, you know?

We have a bad connection.

I can't hear you.

You're cutting out.

Why don't you shove the phone up your ass?

Will that help?

You got to clear those bad calls out real quick, you know?

I mean, I'm not just going to hang up on the guy.

If he can't hear me, I just say something bad to them and they get off the phone.

I don't care.

I don't care if you guys don't like it.

I know it wasn't mine.

Better me just saying, okay, never mind.

Let me hang up.

Crowd ever.

The worst crowd ever.

we're calling the doodle creative films again the toll-free line is open one triple eight two seven

eight eight five zero nine after this prank call feel free to call in we've got a lot of numbers

here we can prank call tonight guys i'm telling you a lot of numbers we got to get them all out

of here on their asses hi how are you doing is this the guys what's the story except what we

don't rent out equipment you don't rent out equipment so you handle the filming part and

everything okay i want to let you know what's going on my name is pierce that's p-i-e-r-s

you're writing this down i got it okay my last name is julianne j-u-l-i-e-n-n-e for the san

jose sharks now i know you haven't heard of me this is what i'm working on i'm a hockey player

in the nhl i just got out of the minor leagues and i'm just gonna sign up with the san jose sharks

and my agent is telling me the thing i can do to make myself more bankable is to film a video of

of myself so i'm trying and i'm willing to pay top dollar i'm trying to break in and maybe try

to get into the all-star game this year i'm trying to garner up the votes and he told me to give a

call to a few he gave me a few numbers here he said he wasn't sure about you guys but he had

heard about some he had heard through somebody i don't know the guy he's a new agent i just left

agents the last guy was a piece to be honest with you he took half of my money he forced me to sign

a power of attorney and everything sick kind of a video would that be well right now i'm not

certain. I'm going more of

the kind of

something in black and white or

night vision.

So?

Okay.

So what?

So what? So what?

Hey, you know,

so what, right? So what?

It's funny that it happened to me.

So what, right? Yeah.

What's the smallest camera?

I'm trying to fit something into

to like i don't know maybe something that i can put on top of the drawer because i don't want her

to know that she's on film with me because it's supposed to look legitimate so you can't use or

whatever those things are that's great but so basically what's going to happen she's she i

don't want her to know at all that there's a camera there at all so it's going to be me and

her and uh you know basically it's going to be coitus and what i'm hoping is this propagates out

and maybe get some street cred for me out there i haven't really been i mean i don't spend much

much time in the box at all i don't have any problems with alcohol mostly these russian guys

they got tons of problems not me not me just just looking to make a video of myself and the lady

well see i'm selling it actually there's a guy i can't tell you who he is but he basically you

sell the video he he'll probably give me a few mil uh probably like i think he's gonna i think

he can probably get three mil for it and that's tax-free it's under the table oh she's consenting

to it yeah it's okay yeah oh no i mean i always ask at every step you know can i you know say can

i perform oral sex on you i say may i perform oral sex on you oh yeah she's gonna no no i trust

she's gonna consent i mean i'm come on i'm pierce julianne she's gonna consent i mean there's no way

around this is gonna have to say i'm pierce julianne oh she's gonna consent it's but i'm

gonna make it it's gonna be all right you don't don't worry this is a gray area but i've learned

through my power of attorney problem

that, you know, there's certain

ways you can work things, and

in the end, it's up to the court.

I mean, in the end, well, I'll probably just have

to pay a portion of the profit. It's a big deal.

Big deal. She says she didn't know

about it. I'm just, she's, I don't know.

Maybe it makes, uh,

maybe it makes, uh, $12 million,

and I'll give her, I'll give her, you know, maybe give her

$300,000 or something.

Settlement's fine. It happens all the time.

Alright, so how small,

I mean, because we can't do more than one

one angle. It just has to be the one straight shot, which is the problem. I got to try to

make sure that I stay within the range. So we need something that has like a wide range

or maybe perhaps of the entire bed. You know, I personally, I don't just have a king size

bed. I have what they call a California king size. You're aware of these, this size of

bed. Right, right. What's that? Right, right. What's this? For the last few minutes, are

you just thinking? Well, would you like $300,000? I'm trying to think how wide an angle. I

look as rustic as possible these look as amateurish let's say i know we throw on this the word amateur

is thrown out or thrown around so like a loose girl these days in the in the adult film industry

it's not what it used to be but that's what i'm going for is the amateur natural yeah so nice

natural lightings nice browns earth tones is what i'm thinking when i think of this video i wanted

to remind people of earth tones would you like the uh how would you like to say maybe we can meet

eat later tonight discuss a little further i'll order some pizzas and i'll tell you what basketball

referred to me by the enda enda the enda no the enda actually the enda meets the the torso that's

the uh the neck beautiful prank call that was all right good good work tuck thank you continuing on

with our show let's see what the next number is i'm going in order tonight so we're going from

let's start going from earliest to latest here so we don't you know get a lot of people not

answering you know i'm sorry um yeah i see there's some issues in stick cam um i'm working on it guys

let me know i mean is it too loud is it too soft is it not coming in right just let me know uh

pht and the rest of you give me an idea and i'll i'm sure i can get it fixed uh thank you very

much syndicate radio.tv everybody be sure to listen to zolar zolar vision on tomorrow evening

at 10 p.m eastern standard time 7 p.m pacific only on syndicate radio.tv

That's right, you should be checking out this show

We of course are also broadcasting tonight on Syndicate Radio

As well as MadhouseLive.com, the Madhouse Radio stream

Catch old episodes of this show there

24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year

And, I don't know, yeah, PrankCall.info

All of us here, chilling tonight, listening

How many listeners? Get a listener count here

Okay, 31.

Let's see what stick cam's looking like over here.

Lots of slow night.

Well, we're doing okay.

We got kind of 72 total listeners.

That's not bad.

All right, good.

Not bad.

Not bad at all.

Okay, I've got the Rocky Hollow Lodge and Cottages.

This is in Arkansas.

Let's ask for some spaces, everybody.

Coming up next, spaces.

Rocky Hollow.

Rocky Hollow Lodge and Cottage.

Rocky Hollow.

A bunch of your spaces.

A bunch of the spaces tonight.

Adults.

You guys do hourly rates?

It's a nightly rate, $60.

Can you smoke inside there?

Concerned about anything happening?

You're not going to be coming around sticking your nose in, are you?

Listen, I'm going to be honest with you.

I'm a married man.

I'm not going to be coming with my wife.

So I like to keep things as anonymous as possible.

What kind of credentials are you going to be asking for?

Because, you know, she could come back and force you to tell her I was there.

You're going to ask for my address, like my real address and stuff.

Check, I mean, I put down 123 Sesame Street.

be okay, right? You're gonna steal nothing.

Why? Why? What do you mean?

You don't even know me, guy. How are you gonna assume

I'm gonna steal stuff? Well, why

don't you do a criminal background check

while you at it, buddy? I mean, shit.

I know one of your people didn't go

in there and put cameras to record

people, but it's gonna come up as like Rocky

Hollow Lodge and have the phone number, right?

What if we put it through like

Olive Garden?

I mean, I could say, you know,

took the office out for Olive Garden

tonight that'd be perfect 60 dollars would be enough for the kids at all that's that's one of

that's good news for me but i don't you know maybe just when you type it in you put in uh

olive garden instead of you know rocky hollow you type olive garden and yeah you type it in

because i was there once and i you know you guys type type in all the all the stuff you know you're

like what's your name and everything like that you ask the name and everything that's that's

all fine and good dude but i mean seriously i think you know give me a hand here you gotta

work with me here you gotta work with me yes

that's, and

again, I appreciate that.

That's exactly what I'm looking for.

But I'm just asking for you

as a man to help me out

and just don't put it through as Rocky

Hollow. Put it through as Olive Garden.

What's the big freaking deal? You type

in all the information. Then what's the computer

for? What do you ask all the stuff

for? Because you have to put it through.

That's the one that you just type there

it says from and you go

Olive Garden and you go

to and you put

Jack Valenti. That's my name.

And then you put the car number.

5-4-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da, you know, and an expiration date, and my address is

123 Sesame Street, and you see what I'm saying is, in the end, no one knows, I tell my wife,

she does the bills, and I say, look, I mean, unless you guys don't have to take the credit

card, what if I just give you cash, but when, when my wife opens the bill, and it says on

there, Rocky Hollow Lodge, and she's gonna call, and she's gonna say, I didn't stay at

at the lodge, who did, and you're going to look at the computer, and you're going to

say, oh, yeah, ma'am, your husband came in with another woman, and they had, no, she's

a redhead, actually, when she calls, what are you going to say, none of your business,

no, you're supposed to tell her that I was, unless they're going to take the charge away,

you're going to have to prove that I was there, and then she's going to say, well, if you

were there, who were you there with, and then I'll be like, I wasn't there, so they're

gonna show signatures they're gonna show uh-huh why you said that okay so that's bullcrap because

you know what okay i go now i give you 60 and i say okay one space that's it and then i leave

that's it then right i don't want any run around when i get there oh you gotta pay this deposit

no if i'm paying cash i'm paying cash it's 60 on the table no we're she wants the cabin she

She wants the whole thing outside.

She's into that thing.

It's nice and cool still.

That's what she wants.

That's what she gets.

She wants, that's what she gets.

I've been playing this for a long time.

I just want to take her to a hotel like she's some $60 hooker or something.

Okay, she's more than that, okay?

She answers the phones here, and she does a little bit of work in the back room.

That's what she is.

She's not some hooker.

I don't take her to hotels.

I take her to the cottage.

We have sex.

well i need you to i need you people to be anonymous and work with me because when when

my wife calls in and sees that it's on the credit card you guys are going to end up spilling the

beans what's going to happen to me cash advance come on the interest rate is double on the cash

and and you and it pays off last i'm carrying a balance i pay nine i pay 9.9 interest on purchases

this is 20 on cash and my payments go to the lower apr first about are you going to type in

the computer just so i can pay cash where you're going to type in the cash so how how much cash do

i have to give just a 60 so you're going to ask me how much do you need how much do you need how

much do you need don't give me the whole spiel all right look i want to come in for one night

how much cash do i have to give you so i go to the atm and take it out of the bank account and

I'm going to give you $60, and you're going to let me do whatever I want inside of that room 24 hours, for the night, until checkout tomorrow, right?

Are you going to get a warrant?

The deal, we're making the deal now, and you're saying $60 cash, then I'm going to come with my $60 cash.

So what, you're going to accuse me now, okay, so let's say I bring $60 in cash, okay, here's what's going to happen.

I'm going to check out tomorrow

And after I check out

One of your cleaning people is going to go in

And they're going to steal the TV

Let's say

They're going to smoke cigarettes inside

And leave the ashes on the floor

And burn a hole

Let's say that they do

They smoke drugs in there

I don't do that

And what's going to happen to me

But you're going to accuse me of having done that

Because you don't have a deposit

I don't want to take her

to a place where

I know, I understand all that crap, but I'm just saying

you know, she's really intent on this place. I'm going to come up with some of this

story. It's not going to work out. Can you put me through to that? Can you put me through to that line, please?

Phone there?

Why? I'm on my last quarter, buddy. Come on, give me a hand. You've got to work with me.

Who's your friend over there?

Who's the guy you told me?

You're doing fake cash for credit cards.

It's not going to happen.

I'm going to come in with my $60.

We already made the deal, as far as I can tell.

Put me down for one space.

Do you guys have a fireplace in there?

Some cottage.

What that?

Some cottage.

What makes it a cottage without a fireplace?

Yeah.

I have shit.

Apparently it's hard to hear the callers.

It's happening again.

It's happening again, Ted.

It's happening again.

again see warriors joining us the warrior milkman called milkman called let's call milkman back

distortion hey a call was doing a call long call all right man oh jesus god baby jesus are you okay

hey come home honey when we're doing the show you're live on the air now in the mouth

all right well hurry up hurry up hey milkman hey can you can you call the studio call the studio

so god damn it stop talking milkman hey call the studio man call the other line all right thanks

thanks that damn cell phone right all right good well we got breaking news here milkman's coming

back so now tuck tuck's gotta shut up hey ted what's going on man how you doing how's how's

are you getting flooded i heard you're being flooded over there milkman with the weather

report oh the wonderful milkman so you're stuck in traffic it's raining you had a flash flood

Smoke weed every day.

The rumors, man.

I heard the chariots start punching myself.

Why does that happen so much over there, just in California?

What's the freaking problem over there?

Why isn't everybody going to drive so much?

It's because everything is connected.

If you get on the 405, man, you're going to like me.

Why freaking city plan it?

Why can't they build an expressway somewhere else, man?

Help people out.

They've got to work with us, man.

I'll tell you what, man.

This place is so built up.

Have you ever got a chance to come out?

I'm going to try.

I don't know.

I'm flying to Pennsylvania in a week.

Dude, there is shit everywhere, man.

I mean, it's just like, you'd think, oh, okay, well, this is just only like the one good area or whatever.

Damn, every fucking place you go, man, there's something cool everywhere you go, man.

Man, every block is a next cool place.

It's like really cool.

California, everything is cool.

I'm supposed to be kind of like, you know, have a good time.

It's pretty cool, man.

It's really good New York, man, New York.

New York sounds like it's crowded and stressful and smells bad in the stores.

Hey, man, speaking of New York, we got a gentleman here.

named uh dan who needs to be prank called his friend gave us his number and uh for some odd

reason he has a fascination with his penis he he's always frequently frequently masturbating

and one time he caught him masturbating in a bathroom of an applebee's restaurant where he

lives in new york damn yeah exactly so he wants us to call as the manager uh complaining um about

him masturbating inside the bathroom and where's the beef where's the protein or something right

I thought that was Baba back here in the background

You're sick again, you're back

Yeah, I got the nipples

That's the place to be at, man

So let's call this

Masturbating Dan

He's coming at you

You're cocky, now you know why they call him the milkman

We're right back with the next part

Let's make it happen

What a toy

Whoa

How you doing?

You do that

How did you do that?

Bad job with that.

I wouldn't hang up.

Dork, though, huh?

He's got the Star Wars theme.

That's funny.

I don't do the Star Wars anymore, man.

Yikes.

That has ruined that.

Kids are into Star Wars.

Little kids are.

It's the stupid, the gay little kids.

Real kids.

Cool kids are into, like, Lord of the Rings and Hannah Montana and stuff like that.

That's what I heard is that Hannah Montana's cool.

That, um, Holden Poker.

Can you still, can you still watch what, what, uh, uh, um, what was the, damn, that

game show where they had the whammies?

you remember the whammies

you know what I'm talking about

Press Your Luck

can you still watch that

anywhere out there

what was it

Press Your Luck

they had that big screen

you know what I mean

they had all the icons

you know

you don't remember

and you go like

do do do do

and they go

check the game show

network schedule

the game show

network schedule

I'm sure the

street team here

in Madhouse

is looking for you

I could probably know

man

it's got a cool song

it's like

dun dun dun dun

motherfucker

I used to play that song to myself in my headphones before I played football in high school.

Somebody get the gold star pick and send that song in as far as they can play it.

Oh, the gold star.

The gold star is on the table.

How's traffic going?

The gold star.

What's your speed, Milkman?

What's your speed and heading?

I'm going to have a logical visit.

Here we come.

Pat, I got you.

All right, so you got your little friend there that's going to be on.

That's great.

I'm excited about your imaginary friend.

We got in here, everyone sounding off.

Tad's in here.

He's not talking much, but he's in here.

Okay.

Tuck's in here, he's very vocal tonight, he's been picking up the slack for you.

Thank you, Tuck, everybody, Tuck, very good, Tuck.

Brandon Vegas is chilling in here, and The Warrior, and Gangrene.

He's sipping on the wine.

Yeah, and you?

Sipping on wine.

All right.

Sipping on, Ted is doing lines of cocaine, he said.

Ted's experimenting with drugs tonight.

That's the man, Ted.

All right, so anyway, we got more pranks to do.

Hey, you want to call England?

You want to talk to someone in England, Milkman?

man. Beatrice, Beatrice, Susan, Dean, or put you on with Beatrice. Beatrice Poole. She's

in Bolton, England. That singer guy. What's his name? Sammy Bolton. What's his name? Richard

Bolton. Michael Bolton. Michael Bolton. Sammy Bolton. Michael Bolton. Same with that British

guy. The one that plays the piano a lot. Well, that really narrows it down. Gay British.

He was friends with Diana and he cried. He played that stupid song on the piano. Think

of the gay British guys. Where's that gay British guy? He is in the chat room. He's

He's behaving himself tonight?

He's behaving himself.

Will you tell that to the guy?

Junu just said that he quickly announces that Milkman is a wanker.

So there you go, man.

You are a wanker.

God, you sound funny.

This is a little announcement right here on the Madhouse.

Trish, you're going to talk to her and have fun, all right?

You sound like an old redneck with that laugh.

You're missing here, buddy.

God damn it.

You sound like you smoke.

Jeez.

You sound like a nasty-ass smoker guy.

Smoke weed every day.

All right.

Smoke weed every day.

This one's last, this is like three weeks.

It's not good.

Before deduction of applicable fees and charges as listed on the back of your card and poster.

We're going to call her back.

Try to do better.

This is Beatrice.

Tell her you're sorry.

You were confused.

I can't hear a word you're saying.

Now, who are you?

29.

Please end.

So retarded.

Did you put her on speakerphone?

That sounds nasty.

Hey, man, it's been like five minutes.

You said two minutes ago you're going to be home.

What's going on?

What's your status?

I'm home, man.

We're coming into the complex now.

The complex.

All right, good.

Good, good, good.

Peter York in Yorkshire.

Awesome.

I was playing a good song here.

Let's get back to that.

Cotton poster, man.

Me deaf.

You didn't know.

Did you hear what they said?

Back to this here.

Creep way.

98.6.

No.

Daft.

Isn't daft like saying you're slow, right?

Isn't that basically what it is?

We got a definition here on daft.

I mean, I don't appreciate it.

Alright, let me look here.

Informal or slang terms for mentally irregular.

It used to, you know.

That's a bunch of bullshit right there.

I am not that thing.

It comes to you, retard, basically, is what he did.

Stupid, foolish, idiotic.

Idiotic.

Stupid.

Also, delirious or insane.

As he has gone deaf.

You know, I don't like that being called stupid.

That's not right, dude.

Because I don't go around calling people stupid.

I may prank call, but I don't go, I don't say, hey, you're stupid.

That's just, that's, that's not funny.

That's not fun.

I complain about that.

Let me see if I get him back.

If not, I'll call Dean.

I'll tell you something.

I just looked in the dictionary and it tells me what the word daft means.

And you might've called me a twat, sir.

I take a special, a special anger exception to you calling me daft, sir.

I looked at what that word means.

That may not be a word we use here in the States a lot, but I am not stupid.

stupid i'm not foolish or idiotic or delirious calls me where does that i'd say you don't call

people dab you can go around call people daft york they just hung up your destination number

milkman made it to the chat room all right good milkman's here what are you saying everybody

hey the milkman's back in the mad mad mad mad mad madhouse

introduce my special guest they're called rlito okay who's that this is our friend right here

what's your name special guest no no let me see my id he's got to check his id he's a he's a member

of the secret service uh actually uh what is your uh what's your name there uh agent 007 my name is

He said he's going by the name Steve Ballard for the moment.

He wants us to call himself.

Steve Ballard.

Okay, whatever.

I'm going to ask him to remind me that.

I should treat people better.

as you can see he's a real fun kind of guy

you like him here Mano

sounds like it

Richard in the house

where's he from

Puerto Rico

Oh, this is kind of Puerto Rican.

Mexican, German.

Richard Alvarez from Puerto Rico.

Richard Alvarez.

I was born in Puerto Rico by accident, you know.

Oh, it was an accident?

Yeah, Mexico, German.

Yeah.

Actually, it was a good accident because they gave me my citizenship by accident.

Good for you.

My grandfather was a fucking Nazi.

Where was this?

Puerto Rico.

What town in Puerto Rico were you born in, sir?

What kind of Puerto Rico?

Vieques.

The island of Vieques.

That's not Puerto Rico, man.

That's a stupid...

That's an island.

It's an island.

No one cares about Vieques, man.

I'm sorry.

I don't mean...

Turn that down over there, eh?

Get the cell phones away from the microphones here, all right?

Your phone is ringing, man.

All right, Michael.

Mr...

All right, Gonzales.

Thank you.

Milkman, get that under control over there.

Get Gonzales...

Look at your mouth for the island of Vieques.

Hey, man.

Get...

get away

phone away

from the microphone

now

5

I'm going to

count down

from 5

4

3

let me go to 2

yeah he's got

all these women

calling him here

so

hey man

Mr. Playboy

Richard

they don't call him

Tricky Dick

for nothing

so Richard

Tricky Dick

you see

he's a tricky dick

you're hanging out

with Mexican Germans

born in Puerto Rico

oh geez

yeah man

he's from Puerto Rico

man

Puerto Rico

yeah

great

okay

Okay. Excellent. Alright, we're gonna

call Daniel Tweed. Where is he from? Who, me?

Are you Puerto Rican or New Yorker? I'm Puerto Rican

and Italian, sir. Not New Yorican and Italian. Puerto Rican.

Oh, okay. Puerto Rican and New Yorican. I'm from

Adesivo, Puerto Rico, sir.

It is. I was just kidding, man. You guys are cool.

Hang on, hang on, hey, I gotta take a phone call

Mira, mira, callate, callate

I gotta take a phone call

Tranquilo, tranquilo

Tranquilo, hey, Madhouse Radio, you're on the air

Jonathan's Jonathan

How you doing, Jonathan?

Pretty good

Alright, good

Hey, what's up with the room tonight?

Hey, what's

I keep losing audio on

the camera room

It's going normal for me

I don't understand

So is it choppy

Or what's the deal

Is it too high

Is it too low

What's the deal

Tell me please

Well the audio is fine

For about 10 minutes

Then it'll just shut off

On it's own

I'm not even touching it

That computer is

Working like a charm

Right now

The exception is that

The webcam isn't working

That's the only problem

Let me try

Taking that out

The webcam stopped working

That was all

So you guys can't see me

Tonight unfortunately

But I wanted to do a show

So I didn't want to

Leave you guys hanging

For like an hour

Without anybody on syndicate

So I said, let me go on without a camera, at least, so I can hold the Ford down, you know.

Next week, I'll get the camera.

It's the frickin' drivers.

You know, I got some money this week.

I'm going to go ahead and buy a nicer webcam, maybe one of those that focuses in and out, you know.

Like, Zolar has you just get that one, yeah.

Maybe something nicer.

I'd like to upgrade.

Jonathan, how's everything going, man?

Pretty good.

Awesome.

You got a drought up there, I hear.

Is that right?

What now?

Has it been raining up there where you're at?

I know you guys, didn't you guys get a huge storm?

It's been raining like 10 dogs up here.

Yeah, well, down here, it rains every morning.

It fucks up traffic.

It's really bad.

I'm late to work.

It was late to work today.

Eight minutes late.

Very effective places, man.

Running slow this morning, too.

That's my fault.

You're always on time, I bet, huh?

You ever get slow on your bus route?

But you get the worst luck with your buses.

You get into accidents with drunk drivers hitting your bus, and the bus broke down.

How's Pete Smith doing, man?

He's doing all right.

I just talked to him today.

He's working on a school bus tomorrow, and he gave me some information on what to do.

He's a good guy.

I like Pete, man.

Tell him to come back around.

He used to come around and everything.

He was a good sport.

He stopped calling, man.

Yeah, I'll let him know.

Thank you.

All right, Jonathan, we're going to move on here.

Can you say hi to all your fans and listeners real quick for everybody?

I'd like to say hello to all my fans and listeners, and I hope you all have a good week.

Thanks, Jonathan, man.

All right, see you later.

Thanks for calling.

That was Jonathan, and we're about to head off to take a break.

I don't know if someone's calling.

I guess I'll take it.

That's really loud.

Really loud fucking ringer.

turn that shit down is that it right there there we go there's one setting for this phone it's like

loud or off that's right here i think it's down for longer man yeah it sucks no camera no no video

tonight i don't i don't know i gotta get a nicer webcam you know dude i don't know the um drivers

uninstall themselves uh every unlike on a weekly basis here last week they did it and this week

they did i didn't have time last week it did it and i reinstalled i rebooted i had to reset

set everything up. I was 50 minutes late for the show.

I didn't want to do that to everybody

again tonight, so I said, let me at least go on

even though no video, I'll go on

audio only just for this week, and I'll have it fixed.

But next week, I'll buy a new webcam this

week. And this thing, I bought it for $9 at Radio

Shack. I was in there, I said, let me get a webcam.

It was like $9. Eh, I can afford that.

Yeah, dude.

Well, you know what? That's weird.

Did you check the manufacturer?

Yeah, I didn't want to take the time

to go to the website.

I really don't think they even made it.

I think they never

updated any drivers

for it at all

it's like a really

cheap Chinese

it's probably like

Sanford and Son

webcam

yeah well it's

it's like

like made in Korea

or something like that

you know what I mean

one of those

kind of things

oh those fucking

Koreans

oh it's getting us

yeah

the northern half

are crazy

and the southern half

are taking advantage

of us

that can be a webcam

yeah

I didn't like

to say dude

all I can tell you

is I got this

this damn cabbage

and every cabbage

cabbage

that kimchi crap

it tastes like shit

they ferment cabbage

and spices

in the ground

in clay jars

and they call it kimchi

kimchi supposed to be good it tastes like ass i don't think it's wrong yeah it is i had korean

once i didn't like it i don't let it wasn't nice it wasn't nice i don't like koreans you know that's

all i knew faces they have like leopard shit anytime he's gonna like uh anytime i see like

a weird fucking photograph jabs are cool like the jabs come on what are you gonna be saying bad

words man the japanese are cool we have a lot of listeners in japan tonight we love all of them go

do some pranks you want to do a prank or two real quick man you know what i haven't uh i don't

mean to impose but i want to see if we come to a deal here i will pay you whatever it costs you to

to get out and accommodations but in may of 2009 it's going to be my last madhouse show we're

thinking about doing it either renting out a uh a space a space you know and like in a hotel like

a conference room or something like that a reception hall we're gonna i'm gonna have like

an open bar i'm gonna try to have a live band and uh i'm gonna try you know we're gonna do like one

big show and lonesome loser is going to be there it's probably going to be in philly milkman's

is going to be there. Zolar is going to make it,

he said. I was wondering, because you've

done remotes before. I don't know

if you have the gear for it, but I'll pay

you whatever it costs to get all this shit in and all

that if you can come and be there

for the show and either

help us in getting it all

connected up. I'm trying to say

whether it be mics or whatever. Can you

do that? May what?

May 23rd

2009. It's

going to be Memorial Day weekend, but not this one.

And why are you closing down?

Oh, I'm getting married

It's going to be my bachelor party

My wedding's going to be two days after

It's not the last madhouse show

Well, it's going to be the last one for probably a while

It's going to go on hiatus for a long time

I wanted to have a bachelor party with all the people

Well, dude, if you're going to be in Philadelphia

You need advance notice, man

I got you down, too

See, this party's getting greater and greater as it is

We got DTT's coming

The Dead's coming

Can I bring the Dead?

The Dead's coming

He's riding with the best man, Andy, my best member, Andy, from Chicago, the best man.

Oh, dude, that's going to come.

They live in Chicago.

Yeah, he's going to pick him up.

Lonesome Loser's going to be there, dude.

Lonesome's going to come.

Lonesome Loser, man, I always wanted to give that guy a hug.

Me too.

He's in Philly.

He said he's going to come.

He'll be confirming numbers, hopefully, right there live.

We're going to get to see the man in action.

It's going to be awesome.

Dude, I mean, I want to see that because that's skill right there.

Yeah, so we're going to have an open bar.

We're all going to be drinking.

It's going to be on me.

Yeah, man, no problem.

I'll bring a couple of laptops.

I'll bring a camera.

I'll bring laptops, too, and everything.

Yeah, we'll get it worked out.

Now, is there going to be high-speed Internet there,

or should I bring one of those fucking...

Well, that's the thing.

I have to find the venue,

and then if they don't have high-speed available,

they will have to give Verizon cards or something.

You know what I mean?

Something...

Yeah, I got those cards.

Oh, you do?

It's not a problem.

I just need to know to bring them or not.

Awesome.

I thought I was going to have to get some myself.

That's awesome.

Cool, cool.

Yeah, and I'll pay costs for you to get this stuff out there.

I don't want you to have to pay anything on a party.

You don't have to pay me shit, dude.

Just fucking come there and have a party.

Awesome.

All right, cool, man.

It's looking big.

Anybody who's listening to me, if you guys can make it,

so you get over a year notice.

Just do me a favor.

Seriously.

What?

You know, just give me, like, advance notice

of exactly when, you know, I can get a hotel.

It's going to be the last, the Friday before Memorial Day in 2009.

Not this Memorial Day weekend, the next one.

It's going to be that Thursday.

I'm sorry, that Thursday.

It's going to be the last Madhouse show,

and then I'm going to try to make it for Zolar's show the next night.

You know, to be there, I want to be there.

So that'll be about when you're getting married the next day?

Saturday, two days after that, I'm going to get married on the 20th.

Oh, dude, we're all going to stay there and fuck a fucking wedding.

Oh, that'd be awesome.

Hell, yeah, I'd like to have you.

Your milkman's going to be, your milkman's in the wedding.

He's one of the groomsmen, so he's going to be there.

You get to meet him.

Oh, damn.

And like I said before, even DTT's going to try to make it.

Tuck, I think, said he might even try to make it from Tennessee.

We'll see what's going to happen.

Did you know what that sandnigger did?

Yeah, damn.

Tuck and DTT.

DT, yeah, he's going to blow himself up at the reception probably.

Like, ah, Carlito, no.

I love that guy.

I love that fucking dude.

Yeah, he's good people.

He's been listening since the first show, man.

He's the man.

Yeah, dude.

He's still, you know, we got to, it's funny.

We got to, like, we're at the beginning.

That's true.

And that's one of the reasons I'm still doing the shows for people like him.

Like DTT and Tuck and people from way back, going way back, you know.

We're still around.

Well, you know, you do a good, solid show.

You always have.

There's no doubt.

Yeah.

All right, so it's May 21st, 2009 is the exact date.

May 21st, 2009, all right.

I don't know if I have a camera.

Remind you in time of this.

It's going to be great.

I'm very excited about this.

All right, Lego, so thanks for calling.

No, dude, I'm going to keep listening.

Yeah, stick cam is cutting in and out.

I don't know why, but I keep clicking on the mute button.

Well, I'm going to take a break now, and I'm going to restart it just so everyone has advanced notice.

I'm going to restart it, so hopefully we'll see if we can reset the matrix here real quickly, all right?

All right, brother.

All right, man.

Thanks for calling, Lego.

Take care.

This is looking more and more like it's going to be a very interesting bachelor party.

Very excited about the bachelor party, man.

It's going to be great.

The bachelor party show, the final madhouse.

We're going to have music and everything.

So we've got to figure out what kind of band should I get there.

I was thinking a mariachi band.

I was thinking like a Puerto Rican music band.

That would be kind of cool.

I was thinking a jazz band.

Huh?

What was that?

Dude, that would be cool too, man.

Something with a little bit of variety, man.

Not trapped in one little tiny little niche.

Well, hey, you know what?

It would be cool if, I mean, if Lego comes down, we have him play.

He's in a band.

That'd be funny.

That'd be funny if we just had Lego as, like, you know, the Madhouse Radio Band.

You know, lock the Lego in the Madhouse Radio Band.

You know, if Lego's going to come down, then I'll bring my guitar, too, man.

Oh, shit.

See, we got Milkman on guitar.

We got to do, like, a whole five-hour show extravaganza, man.

We got to do so much crap.

Please do one little segment, you know, tunes, man, you know, a little tune session there.

Oh, yeah, yeah, it's going to be a good time.

I'm going to have to work some other musicians together.

Lego would be cool.

Lord Spoon says, Lord Spoon's telling us we need mimes.

All right, so Lord Spoon is saying that we need mimes, like 10 of them, and forget about a band.

That'd be kind of cool, just have the mimes in the background, acting like they're playing the music.

Yeah, like they're playing the instruments up in front of you.

We'll have to get some video footage of this extraordinary event.

And then, you know, like later on, like do the highlights of it, you know,

so it will be a memorable occasion, folks.

It will be worthy of video.

I trust it.

Yeah, so we're still a long way away, but we're already planning.

We're already planning.

A lot of people are.

Yeah, that's right, man.

Brandon Vegas right now.

That's the biggest plan.

Brandon Vegas is going to try to fly out.

This is going to be awesome, man.

We're going to have so many.

Hopefully, man, this works out.

I even talked to Ted.

Ted's going to be...

I think we're going to have a party bus going from Chicago.

I think I'm going to fly into Chicago

because I've never been to the town.

I'm going to hang out with Andy for a few days,

probably, and the dad, maybe see him.

I think I'm going to ride from Chicago with Andy,

probably the dad,

and maybe Ted can join the convoy or something.

I know Ted spends time up here.

Ted's got some connections in Chicago.

Yeah.

He could get to Chicago, man.

Yeah, my parents are running through Columbus.

I'll join the con.

Yeah, see?

We've got even more people here.

Milkman, there's a cell phone close to you, brother, man.

Watch out.

Get that out of there, man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Back that up.

Like QRM.

QRM, man.

It's crazy.

So, yeah.

And even your friend, what's his name?

Vincente Garcia?

Richard.

Richard Velasquez?

Vincente Garcia.

Garcia.

Yeah, whatever, man.

I'm going to work at Mexican and we are going to be kids.

Yeah, man.

This guy's fucking funny.

Are you from Orlando?

I live in Orlando, yeah.

That's right.

Oh, man.

That's right.

I live in Tampa, man, actually.

How do you do Eddie Garcia?

Eddie Garcia.

Is that his name, Eddie Garcia?

Yeah, he's a prank call character, but he's retired.

Put Eddie Garcia on right now.

I'll play.

With Roger Richards.

Yeah, well, yeah.

Play Eddie Garcia, call for Richard, man.

oh man

do I have any

on archive

alright well

keep

we'll play one

after the break

we'll play one

I promise you man

just keep listening

hey bro

is the party still

going on in Orlando

in that fucking

main street

on where

downtown

in downtown

the big parties

they do in downtown

in Orlando

the

calle orange

you talking about

the downtown parties

you know

yeah

they still do them

there was something

going on last weekend

I think

everyone said

They close downtown off and they have a big party in the streets

And people get drunk and fight

Yeah, that's always fun

Cool, man

Alright, man

I got to be there one time really late

So I didn't get to enjoy it

You got to get there early

The bars here close at 2

So yeah

We're taking a break, everybody

Everybody stay tuned

If you're listening on Stick Cam

It's very important you listen to these instructions

If you're listening on Stick Cam

When you hear the break cut out

When you hear the end of the breakout trope, be sure that you sign out of the stick cam room, wait about 30 seconds, and go back in.

And this is in an effort to reboot the stick cam room and fix the current situation there.

So this is a priority message.

Everybody in stick cam, prepare to get out of the room and come back in 30 seconds later.

Be watching out for that.

In the meantime, we have more numbers to call.

Lonesome Loser has sent in a ton of numbers here.

Here we've got Daniel Tweed, Lorraine Toon.

We have the whole hog and sauce in England.

And we still have the Tug Ravian, the Quickie Bar, and the Quickie Mart all ready to be prank called after the break.

We'll be back in about five minutes.

Please stay tuned.

It's now 11.38 p.m. Thursday, January the 24th.

You're listening to Madhouse Radio on syndicateradio.tv and madhouselive.com and prankcallradio.info.

yeah we'll be back right after this 20 calls and as you know one call equals a billion people

which means 20 billion people were offended by this 98.6 ml for you to hear five minutes away

i just gotta get the wheelchair i'll be there can i talk to the guy back there maybe let me

ask him in person if that's okay bro bro i was asking for a gristle sandwich is that possible

this time of night what what you need well you know when you make the steak right you take that

That spatula, you scrub all that stuff off the grill.

You take a piece of white bread, and you fold it in half,

and you run it longwise along the spatula.

And you take a slice of American cheese, and you put it right down the half.

Who is this?

This is Ralph Littlejohn.

I'm coming from my house, sir.

I mean, you know, because I'm Samoan doesn't mean I'm a piece of...

I'm not knock.

I don't know who you are.

I'm Samoan.

I'm a Samoan.

Italian.

Oh, you're one of those.

This is a sandwich and well steak, and I was asking him what kind of rub,

Oh, but he doesn't know.

He's just a kid, that guy.

He's a kid.

Well, he wrote a...

Steak, have steak, have steak meats.

No, no, no, don't hang off.

Don't hang off.

No, don't do that.

I am going to hang off.

Listen.

Listen, I'm the owner.

You don't hang off.

...right here in my hands.

Don't make me...

You know what?

You take your papers, you roll them up tight,

you shove them in your ass, Croatian.

You too.

I'm Serbian.

Fuck you.

I'm a Serbian, you bastard.

Madhouse Radio is live Thursday nights at 10 p.m. Eastern.

Why don't you shut the hell up?

Fuck you!

Fuck you fucking piece of shit!

Be sure to visit us online at madhouselive.com.

Toll free at 1-888-278-8509.

You know what?

I hope that when you die, they put your GPS in your box and a trap door at the bottom.

So when you die, you...

Madhouse Radio is back.

You are bigger than a woman.

You are better than a woman.

We'll always be behind you.

Do not let a woman...

We'll always be behind you.

ever make you who you are.

Okay, I'm...

Madhouse Radio's back.

The music's gone.

The music will come back in two seconds.

One, two.

There it is.

All right.

Yeah.

Madhouse Radio's here tonight, everybody.

We're having a good time.

We're enjoying ourselves.

We're behaving.

Thank everybody who's still listening to us right now.

Some more prank calls coming at you in a moment.

Thank everybody who was able to survive the syndicate restart.

start of course we got milkman ted webb tuck the warrior gang greens in the house brandon biggs

baz check it out we got our old crowd here having a good time all right good all right so more prank

calls eh i think we gotta call her we gotta call her we gotta call her hang on we gotta call her

let me get to it fast enough sorry caller they were calling unlisted anyway i don't like

unlisted i don't like block numbers all right see who this is business you got any business to talk

about party special gonna be we'll see we'll see i'd like to i'd like to think that we're gonna

have a nice show there for for the end of it for the end of it i'll come back but it won't be mad

house radio it'll be a new show i mean it'll probably be the same thing but it's gonna be

called something else probably entirely i don't know what i'll call it i don't know carlito party

nation or something i don't know i figured out carlito gone wild carlito gone wild uh super

karate monkey death car i don't know what i'll call it i'll call it something yeah something

Something like that.

Hey, you know, and we didn't call this last week.

I got a number here in New Zealand that's called, it's the Zippity Zoo Mobile Farm Petting Zoo.

Imagine, mobile petting zoo.

I think it's like a traveling petting zoo.

It's called Zippity Zoo.

Mobile petting zoo.

Isn't that crazy?

Very crazy.

Milkman, you got a phone card?

I think we're almost out of phone card juice.

I can call the number.

Yeah, I'll get you one.

I'll get you one.

Okay, yeah, that's right.

Ted can dial this one.

Let's take it away.

Let's do this one here.

This is from last week.

They should still answer.

New Zealand, they always hang out.

They like phones.

They like to play with their phones.

What was that here?

Zippity Zoo.

This is a call from last week that Lonesome confirmed.

It was about this time last week.

It should be okay.

Hang on.

Let me get that here.

All right.

You should be seeing it.

Right.

Engage.

Engage, number one.

All right.

Zippity Zoo Mobile Farm.

Ted's going to call that now.

We're excited about that, of course.

You know, I finally broke down.

I bought a Bluetooth headset on eBay.

It says you should get it in the mail tomorrow, UPS.

Oh, for your cell phone?

Yeah, I got a really small one.

It's really, it's no bigger than my earlobe.

Maybe not as a stretch, but I'm saying it's really small.

It's a small little triangle.

It fits right in the ear.

And I got it for a pretty decent price.

Pretty excited about that.

Congratulations.

Hey, yeah, I finally moved up in the world.

I got a Bluetooth headset.

said, watch out, guys. Watch out. I'm cool now. Brack is going crazy. Where did Brack

go? Go Brack. But I don't hear any ringing. I don't hear shit. Hello, is anybody speaking?

Hello? Hello, it is. Hardly hear you. It's a party for my son. Yes. At the mobile zoo.

I want the whole thing. When is the bird this Saturday? Mm-hmm. We're fully booked this

Saturday. We're often booked quite a couple of weeks ahead. Can you tell me what kind

of animals in the farm food well it depends on who i've got helping me um if i've got another

adult that can volunteer and come out and help me i sometimes bring my little pony um my little

my little pony yeah we sometimes bring that however um sometimes we have the donkey but

she's just had a fall so most of the time the milking goat what what's the chance that you'll

You'll be able to bring your ass over, though.

Very unlikely, as I said.

I'm already booked up, and we can't ask around when we're fully booked.

You were laughing at something I said.

I didn't know what...

Yeah, no.

We, as I said, we're fully booked on Saturday.

You said that you had a little pony, you had a jackass, and what else?

No, I didn't say that.

Goodbye.

That just

can't really be sanitary, a mobile petting zoo.

Those things, they had a petting zoo here in Orlando.

They had to shut it down because kids were coming down with, like, coli and stuff.

We got a prank request, Ted.

Oh, my God.

Acts tough, but it's a pussy.

Dresses like a white rapper and loves Britney Spears and Mariah Carey.

Has a small penis and can't get it up unless he looks at men.

He hates little people.

Sent by Joey.

Hello, Beverly speaking.

Yeah, calling about the Zippity Zoo.

Yes, what would you like to know?

I'd like to know if you'd like to tell me what you're on about.

And I believe that this is a prank call, so I'm going to terminate it.

Thank you.

Goodbye.

And terminate.

Thanks for the new phone card.

There's stew there in her juices for a little bit.

Those New Zealand girls look good, I bet you.

I don't know, how's the tale in New Zealand?

Phone, sound like, yeah, he's making it sound like, you know, this guy, he's got some guy over there now,

and they're making it sound like it's...

It's not on here, man.

The phone's not on this end.

It sounds like AM radio right now, thanks to you.

Would you knock it off?

It's not on here, man.

Maybe it's mine.

Is it mine?

No, mine's over there, where it always is during a show.

know it's yours milkman watch i'm gonna mute and i won't hear it that i muted milkman i don't hear

a big surprise wow guess what milkman's wrong he loses his gold star right now nobody has any gold

stars fuck you guys all right all of you maybe you should think about it talk warrior come on

bring the juice show's almost over we're getting close to ending time and you guys aren't you know

getting the gold stars here let's make it happen all right i'm gonna send you a few numbers here

that i got from lonesome loser you tell me what you think here we can call all right if you

You remember you had a part in your career here where you were doing toilet prank calls

where you were making the toilet keep flushing?

Oh, yeah, my career.

Yeah, you had that part.

Those were good times.

I was remembering that the other day.

I heard it on the stream.

On your stream, yeah.

Oh, yeah, you had called into our show.

Well, that was when I was putting the freaking phone in the toilet.

Yeah, you're like, oh, I'm messing with it.

Oh, no, and then she was in Australia, right?

You thought you were calling Britain?

Oh, yeah.

That's funny

Next one here

Where we got the pop in

Or the whole hog and sauce

For you

I said the whole hog and sauce

I might be able to do something

With Jack Masterson and that

Hulk sauce

We're from hog and sauce

Hog and sauce

Fox and everything

Yorkshire

Right, this is Yorkshire

The country Yorkshire

Oh

Way too long at some times

Well, I guess this is better

Than calling an hour earlier

Because what is it

Four over there

Instead of three

I think I'd rather be

Woken up at four than three

You're having it, man

Yeah, let me take a look

At the news stories here

We can try the pop in.

You try to take that one, because obviously my pranks aren't going to go anywhere.

Man, I had some garlic tonight, Ted.

I'm telling you, I'm just like...

Vampires await.

More numbers.

I'm sorry.

Lonesome looks like he's confirming some more.

Let's see what else we got here.

We haven't been called yet.

Here's one.

Oh, we just got another request.

Let's see what this is for.

Hang on.

We got Juice4Z0 sent in a request here.

Let me see if this was more legitimate than the one we had before.

Hang on, Juice.

The juice is in the mouth listening.

I'm pulling up his prank request now.

All right, he's got a concrete...

Okay, we were talking about this with him earlier.

He's a concrete worker.

It's winter time and he's bad up for work.

Can we call him and say we got his number from a job he did?

Something along the lines that we have a large concrete job for him.

Okay.

I guess we can do that.

Full construction.

Get you without dashes, I'm sorry.

The guy's name is Jake.

That's all I got, Jake.

No name of the company, just Jake.

He's looking for work, so...

He's looking for work.

That's all I got, yeah.

We got some side pan numbers, too, from Baz from last week.

We got to get to.

I sent you a new one. McDonald's. Confirmed.

It's a side pin.

That's not motherfucking Jake.

It's Milkman. Hey, what's up, man?

Check your G-Talk, man.

Check my G-Talk, man. What do we got there?

Oh, Steve Ballard.

Super prick boss of...

Is this your boss, Milkman?

Dude, I don't have a boss.

Milken wants us to call his boss.

It's some guy, he's a racist big guy

with white boy tattooed across his knuckles

and he doesn't like Mexicans, man.

Come on, is it Bubba Johnson and Eddie Garcia

got to call this guy, you know what I'm saying?

Let's do it.

I'm going to send that to you here.

He doesn't like blacks or Mexicans.

Well, yeah, he doesn't like Mexicans.

I'm sure he doesn't like the Schwatzes either.

You know what I'm saying?

right man he's uh he actually called you could even talk with him like as a british person too

man from british petroleum like from british petroleum okay in britain did you know yeah

hey jen said he's gonna he said he's definitely gonna fly out for the whole thing too so

oh really yeah i asked him i was like he's i just mentioned what was going he said well i'm

flying out definitely said i want to fly to the states and i'll wait until then so yeah jen will

be out here too it's gonna be wicked you come by and give me your it's nine o'clock

Okay, but you can call this on the DL, you know what I'm saying?

No, we don't do that.

You should have said, because I'm black.

Hey, no, man, it's in there.

Have Eddie Garcia call back.

Yeah, we will.

We'll do that.

Dude, move that phone over there, by the way.

That's you.

Get the phone off.

Turn the phone off.

A Mexican Metro PCS phone.

Jesus.

It's a fucking gay-ass iPhone, dude.

It's a homosexual iPhone.

It's a Taco Bell wireless phone that he's got.

Taco Bell.

Well, because the bag.

I want to talk about that.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm going to have him bubbled up.

Yeah, Garcia, man.

I will, I will.

Maybe I'll do Garcia in on it, because he does not like Mexicans.

Ansel has four dogs.

He doesn't clean the shit after them.

And so someone held her Jesus statue hostage until she cleaned it up.

He stole her Jesus statue.

He threw out his phone, that big boy.

Ryan, terminate the call, please.

Leave a funny message.

please

I saw that

the house

in Malaysia

this will be a

madhouse first

Malaysia on the mouth

we gotta play some

music here man

this is getting

a little funky

I got a big day

planned tomorrow man

gonna get some food

you know gonna eat well

I get Vietnamese

for the first time tomorrow

moving mics and everything

shame on you

milkman tonight

both of you

the two of you

think about it

hey

hello

how are you

ching chong ching

right back to you, are you guys seating, are you guys seating, are you guys sheeting, yes,

that's the one, are you doing, yes, your spaces, are you putting people in your spaces, oh

Jesus, what, what fucking, what's the language here, is this an English country, what language

do you people, do you speak Chinese or Japanese, do you speak English, on the island, on this

island, you guys speak English, I just flew in, I don't know, I just flew in, I don't

know. Do you speak English here? Yes, I speak English. Okay, good. No, because I didn't

know, maybe, I thought you maybe spoke Malaysian or something weird. No, we're speaking English.

So, okay, I'm just making sure I don't want to offend you, please. I'm from the South.

My name's Steve Ballard. Look, listen, honey. Sorry, sir? I know. Do you have anything without

gluten? You talk, you speak quite fast. Maybe you can get an English speaker on the phone,

phone, please. Oh, yes, I get you now. Okay. Thank you very much. This is usually the one

from Britain. We get this from the stores. Hello? Everyone be quiet, please. Okay, never

mind. That always gets me. I usually only hear this one during the British calls when

we're on hold. Well, Japan plays the, it's like an oriental music, like a ding, ding,

ding, ding, ding, like that. Hello? Hi, is this it? Hello? Hey, Mooshy Mooshy, how are

How are you, sir?

Yeah, good.

Good.

Can I ask you something?

Yes.

I had a few questions about your menu, and I was wanting to come in for a space.

You didn't know from my Gmail?

I'm sorry, what?

Can I know what is it regarding, actually, sir?

Okay, well, I had questions about gluten.

Can I buy?

How much, do you have a lot of gluten in your foods, and do you use pineapple or sugary

fruits at all?

You want to inquire about the food, right?

Yes.

Okay, food, because I'm not sure what the menu is, actually, sir.

What do you do there, dude?

I mean, what's your purpose there?

You know, I've been transferred four times.

I've been on hold for 30 minutes with you people trying to get this sale to go through.

I'm just waiting for my authorization number.

What's my authorization number?

Okay, like this.

Because I'm, actually, I don't understand what do you want, actually, sir.

Okay.

So, can you tell me what exactly you need?

Then I can transfer you to the respective department.

Question, a menu.

The menu.

For what kind of menu?

Is it Chinese?

Chinese menu or Japanese menu

or international menu.

That's why I'm calling them.

How many menus do you have there?

Yeah, we have a Chinese menu

which is served at Chinese restaurants.

Japanese food menu

which is served at a Japanese restaurant.

And Italian menu

where we have the Cavarini restaurants

served Italian food.

This isn't...

You're annoying me, sir.

I don't understand how many...

This is more than one restaurant at this place?

Yeah, because this is a hotel,

you have five kinds of restaurants

which is a Chinese restaurant, Japanese restaurant,

uh, Travel Cafe, which is self-international TV,

and also we have the Italian restaurants.

What?

Why are you so stuck up, sir?

Hey, look, man, quiet!

Jesus Christ, sir, okay?

Don't say anything.

Listen to what I have to say, okay?

Okay.

I won't interrupt.

Jesus, god damn it!

So slow, those people are...

It was pretty bright.

I thought that it was a prank call.

Usually they just

Yeah

Yeah but Saipan

Is a place where

They're really retarded

Like I hate

These little islands

Are almost really slow

They're all like

Hello

Can you speak

A slower please man

Can you speak

We had

You know no offense

To the dad but

When I played football

When I was in high school

There was a guy

He was a

Filipino

He was an overweight

Filipino kid

And he talked like

The dad does

So he'd be like

Hey man

How you doing

Yeah

No he couldn't make

Any word

Or he says he can make any one-syllable word into three.

Literally, like, oh, man, that guy was funny.

That guy was funny.

Let's wrap it up, I guess, here.

Let me see what other numbers I might have gotten.

That's it from Lonesome.

And you should hear my mother a lot back when she was just, she does not talk slow.

A convenience store?

No, but I have a McDonald's in Saipan.

That's what I like to call it.

That's right.

Here we go.

Yeah.

That's the one we're going to call.

This is from Baz, Big Baz.

Baz, are you married to a Saipanese girl or something?

No, Filipino.

Filipino.

She lived in...

She lived in Saipan.

Do Filipinos have Spanish last names?

They do.

My mother's maiden name is Garcia.

Man, what's that?

They're named after Philip.

It's, uh...

What's what now?

Native language.

Do they speak English?

English.

I think I offended Baz and I feel bad.

I should not talk bad about Filipinos.

Filipinos.

That's alright, man.

Filipos.

I'm not offended.

Yeah, don't piss them off.

It's like the world's first and first.

Hello?

Sir?

Okay.

Sorry.

Don't deliver any food.

Okay.

All those underwater cables

Salt water in the middle of the class

Hello

Hey, how you doing?

Hello

Can I help you?

Yes, you can

I bought a coffee there

Coffee?

Coffee

Coffee?

Yeah

You bought iced coffee earlier?

Mm-hmm

And then?

Okay, I liked it

I'm gonna call my manager

Oh, okay, yeah, that's good

Let's get someone with some power up

Hello

Yes, do you guys, do you have balloons?

Yeah

You don't have balloons?

Oh, what?

You guys don't make balloons?

Yeah.

Can I order balloons from you?

No, you have to come in.

Do you have any lobsters?

Hold on one second.

Oh.

Hello.

Okay, man, is this clear?

Okay, well, first...

I'm sorry.

Okay.

You is...

A refill?

Refill?

You said you don't like the taste of our coffee?

A refill.

Change it for you.

Are you coming in that?

Yeah, I'm fucking on it.

Go well for it, because I never know what they've been talking about.

Even though I worked at one, it was the worst job of my entire life.

You know, you want to rescue me here?

because I don't know what the fuck to say to this lady.

My name's Carlito.

I'll be handling the second portion of this said call.

How are you tonight?

Hello.

Hi, McDonald's lady.

What is your name?

Hi.

I have a question about your meats.

Well, sir, can I get your name?

Valenti.

Same name I tell everybody else.

Jack Valenti.

Are you coming back for the coffee?

Yeah, well, the problem with the coffee is it was cold.

This is iced coffee, right?

I have sensitive teeth.

When my sensitive teeth get hit by this iced coffee,

I spit the coffee out. It gets all over the windshield, and I crash my car until this gentleman here who you're talking to on the phone.

That's right. He ran right into my car, and I want restitution.

Now, there's no warning on this cup anywhere that says caution. The contents may be cold.

It doesn't say anything to be careful that if you have sensitive teeth, it's going to cause you excruciating pain and cause an accident.

This is what happens when we don't follow directions and don't warn our customers, and we're not responsible.

Okay, I know that our coffee cup has caution.

No, but it didn't say it's iced coffee.

Iced coffee.

Yes, you do.

Did you buy it from the Garapan McDonald's?

Yes.

The who and the what?

The lady made it for us.

Did you buy it from the Garapan branch?

The lady made it for us.

Special.

For a special.

I'm sorry, you're lying.

She made it for a special.

She made it iced coffee for us.

Special.

Look what happened.

Accident.

Bad.

Cargo boom.

Understand?

I'm sorry, but I can't get what you're talking about.

Can you just come down so I can talk to you personally?

Cargo boom.

Can I get your number?

Cargo boom.

Yeah, can I get your number?

Okay.

Seven, seven.

No, no, no, no.

I'm going to give her my real number.

Seven zero.

It's our number.

This is our telephone number.

That's what you said.

Phone, because I can hardly hear you.

You see a landline?

See the machine.

Because there's an echo, I can hear an echo, and I cannot hear you clearly.

It's because the phone line.

If you want to replace your coffee, I'll be happy to replace it.

The phone line's under the ocean, you know, ma'am.

We'll just expect you here.

Go see Lion King.

Get me aware.

I haven't started it yet, so it's always like, what?

It's like a fucking confusion.

That was my first.

I can't imagine.

Athena's just, she worked at McDonald's, too.

Yeah, she has.

I never worked for a fast food restaurant.

I applied for a Burger King once, and they hired me, but I talked myself out of it.

I got a job at a grocery store the same week instead, which became my first job instead.

then i worked at cinnabon for one night matter of fact cinnabon ever had you ever had a cinnabon

cinnamon roll infrequently though because they're very evil they're very rich and i made them and

i saw the amount of i saw the amount of butter that goes into those things and i was like my

good god butter because every time we walk past that place on one sheet of uh which i would say

is the size perhaps of a medium-sized pizza okay um it has a pretty sizable brick of butter that

that mashed into it yeah a pretty i would say it's a pretty it's a i would say it's about two

thirds of a standard brick of butter it was like a sweetened butter it was like butter but it was

sweetened also it's really rich and yeah yeah you put the cinnamon on top and the frosting was

really buttery too it was really wicked man but they're so they're so good though i can't have

them on diabetic but i would i would die i would i would buy my arm off for one right now oh man

man. Cinnabon with some coffee.

That was the best breakfast

ever. You have a nice Cinnabon with some coffee

and you put cinnamon in the coffee.

That was good stuff. Nothing better,

man. I used to be in those Hostess Honey Buns

or whatever. Yeah. I used to microwave

those.

Microwave a honey bun

That's a good idea

Think about that

Yeah he said

Only do it for like five seconds

Yeah oh if you don't

Then I'll brush it out of your mouth

Top of your mouth

Sick stuff

You know

You know we haven't called

Australians so long

I've got

I've had a request

For Australian numbers tonight

But I haven't been able to do it

Never got a chance

To look for Australian numbers

but I think I'm going to end the show, man.

It's 12.30.

Oh, okay.

I've got to work tomorrow.

Well, yeah, let someone else call in

because you're probably boring the shit out of me.

Oh, hell no.

We just had a good call.

We've been having fun, man.

Don't do that.

Okay.

Don't say that.

Don't stop being self-critical.

No, yeah, please.

Please do.

I command you.

Hey, we've got a Jasmine convenient store.

I'm going to do one last prank call.

This is in Malaysia.

Okay.

Let me send this to you here.

It's a convenient store.

Not convenience.

It's convenient.

The T at the end.

It's convenient that it's there, you know.

I have a question for you.

Are you ever going to use that stream?

Yeah.

I got the email about 30 minutes ago that they're shutting me off,

so I've got to finally go.

I'm lazy.

Okay, so you have no choice.

I have no choice.

Yeah, I'm moving over to it now, yes, sir.

Tonight, not tonight, tomorrow, Friday, whatever, you know.

Tomorrow night, we'll take care of it.

It'll be all migrated.

I'll relay the one into the other one.

I'm going to see everybody.

Be sure to go to madhouselive.com this weekend

in to get the new bookmark.

Oh, yeah, I had to change the Amptracker thing, too.

Interesting. So what happened to your

forum? I noticed that the guy who

was running the forums free had

some sort of thing happen and

lost everybody's forum. Yeah, they had a

hard drive crash or something. I have to migrate

there. Well, they have, like, one hard drive.

Yeah, I don't know. They're like, don't ask us

if we can recover. We don't know, and if we can,

we don't know when it's going to happen. I'm like, uh,

okay. Funny. The guy probably, like, has

one machine with one

hard drive running all this shit. Yeah,

Yeah, I know. But he probably didn't back it up at all.

They're not really responsible, the guys.

So, yeah, I found another one already I'm going to free, I guess.

Yeah, exactly. But it just sucks that I don't have a free.

They don't have a form at all anymore. What was that?

You bought so-and-so for what?

The reason why I called is because lying...

So-and-so for making an addition.

I want to trade it in for, like, a bottle of wine or something.

You just bring it in and let me have a look.

I can't promise you anything now because I haven't looked at the thing yet.

No, you're going to promise me now or it's a trouble.

What are you saying? You just bring it over.

If you want to exchange anything, you'll bring it over and let me have a look.

It's really from my store, then I'll make sure, though.

We only sell some particular brand.

If it's not our brand, then I'll definitely know it's not from my store.

And Duffy, that's all.

Nogak and Dali, that's all.

Two brands.

One from Nogak.

No.

If you have any complaints, I can entertain you.

Two picks.

What was that, Australia?

It was a leisure sideband.

Sideband.

To now.

All right, everybody.

That was a fun show.

We had so much fun.

We were so good.

Let me finish playing.

Hello.

Yes, I'm looking for balloons.

Okay, what kind?

I like the balloons, the blue, big, brown balloons.

Sure.

I like to blow them up and then let the air out.

Oh, come on in, you can do that.

How many could I touch and lick?

As many as you want.

You can touch and lick them all.

I like those balloons.

Those balloons are nice, too.

Whatever you want to do, man.

I like that shit.

We drink that shit.

Oh, whatever you want to do, bro.

I like to eat lobster, too.

Okay, you can eat lobster.

I used to order lobsters and shit.

Yeah.

And I wouldn't eat that shit.

I'd lick that shit.

You'd lick it, huh?

And then I slapped it, that shit, right off my table.

That shit was good.

Yeah.

I slapped it, that shit.

All right, man.

I'll see you later.

Right.

All right, man.

See you later.

I like that guy's voice.

It's funny.

He's like, oh, yeah.

Classic call there.

Classic call.

Here's the lion king.

You give me the money, you shortchange me.

I give you $10, you give me back $3.

No.

Yes, I want my money back.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Yes, but I want my money back.

You killed my money.

To you? I don't know. Who gave you the phone number?

You know I need my money.

Got a good horse I want to spend on.

You ever have lucky Lindy in the seventh race?

I don't know. I don't think so, you know?

What are you talking about?

I'm not to you, you know that? I don't know you.

What do you think? I have to go to Lion King.

I don't know. I'm sorry for you.

Okay, don't call here. I call a cab.

The policeman don't drive a cab.

He drive a police car.

I think you're crazy.

You want to go to Lion King with me?

I think you're crazy, okay?

I love it when Tarbash

sung. That was always fun. Whenever he'd go like

Tarbash singing was fun.

I'm gonna go loo, loo, loo. I'm gonna use you to do that

one too. That was funny. We're not gonna sit

here and do the jerky boy show, okay?

Because this is the Madhouse

show, folks. Alright.

Milkman, Tad, you were echoing.

Sir, I had to take you off the circuit.

Milkman, I hope that the cell

phone is shut off now. I trust.

We don't have any cell phone problems anymore, do we?

Milkman? Milkman?

Negatling. Negatling.

Negative, negative.

All right, man.

Is this the last week of you showing up late, or what's the problem with that, Hermanu?

No, we've got another list.

What location is she at, man?

Say what now?

Where's she at, man?

She wants to join in on the show.

Pennsylvania.

We've got another list up in Pennsylvania here.

Hey, man, Pennsylvania, home of the Madhouse Bachelor Party.

All right.

Milkman, take us out of here, bro.

We've got to go.

That's right.

Get me out of here, Milkman.

Come on.

You ready to go?

Yes, sir.

You got an angry Mexican over there.

You better fucking go, bitch.

Hey, man.

Hey.

Hello.

Radio man.

Yeah, radio man.

Yes, Mexican man.

Hey.

Radio man.

Radio motherfucking man.

Hey, gangrene.

Gangrene.

Imitate this guy.

Gangrene knows exactly what you're saying.

Hey, man.

Are you ever going to let me talk to the radio man?

Go ahead.

Talk the radio now.

Yes.

Yes, go ahead.

Hello.

Yes, Chicano.

You're Cholo.

Finally, you let me talk, man.

Talk, Cholo, talk.

I'm from where, dude?

I'm a Cholo?

Hey, man.

Pinche, pinche cabrón.

You're a pinche cabrón.

Pinche cabrón.

That's right.

Yeah, man.

Is that Mr. Spook Dollar?

Yeah.

Hey, all right.

Now, I want you to do me a favor.

I want you to give the microphone back to the white guy.

Give the microphone back to the overseer, okay?

Mm-hmm.

The overseer.

The jefe.

Overseer.

Yeah.

Do Mr. Larry Booker?

That, oh, who?

I never heard of him.

No, no, never heard of him.

Dump that.

No?

No, no.

Let's see what we do.

I think we got to, we got to, we had a bad connection there, Milkman.

I don't know what just happened, Milkman.

He wants us to do another prank call.

He wanted you to call that guy, man.

That's what he's trying to get you to do.

I got to go, man.

It's late.

I got to go.

No more calls.

Calls are over.

I broke the phone.

Look, I broke the phone.

No more calls.

Okay, Milkman, take us out of here.

I can hear you.

Other.

No, no, there's no more phone.

No more phone.

No, whenever you have a chance to, appreciate if you can call the fucker like at this time

too and tell him that this is you.

We need to get him mad.

Can I tell you a name?

We need to get him mad.

Come over.

It's an emergency.

There's an emergency in the plan and that's what we'll pay for services on his company.

Okay.

We need to cover it right now.

I got you.

We need to cover it right now.

That's right.

No sale.

everybody in T-Speak

say no sale

no sale

alright goodbye

Milkman take us out of here now's your chance

you got two minutes

it's been an interesting show

man

sorry I couldn't be here a little bit earlier

traffic jams in LA

legendary let me say

and they are real

They do suck, so if you're going somewhere in L.A., you better be getting ready to wait or get there early, because you're going to have to wait to get there.

But regardless, anyway, he's one of them who dreams of Hawaii.

Or two days' witness.

Yeah, he's about ready to fly out of here.

He's about ready to travel to Hawaii, so he's going to have his little hula skirt on.

So I'm going to get some pictures from Richard wearing his little hula skirt there and his little coconut bra on.

on. That ought to be interesting.

That's right, the Iceman. Yeah, he's going to be the Iceman

there with the hula hoop skirt

and the coconut shell bra on.

Can you imagine, man? Oh, boy.

Bye-bye.

One of them is going to ask him to sign it.

Yeah, the Iceman's going to say,

I'm happy that Milkman's making friends.

Yeah, I'd like to thank

everybody, though, man.

You know, get around the thanking part

here, man, because you know what?

We love you all.

Like a thank you, Mr. Ped, Ped, Ped, the Red of the Ped of Red, man.

Thanks so much, Ped, for all you do, man.

That's right.

Oh, yeah, and a special, a special call tonight for Mr. Ballard.

Thank you so much.

You make wonderful sausages.

I heard you've got some great smoked sausages.

How's your smoking?

I don't know, but...

Did he smoke the sausage himself?

He smoked the sausage.

I don't know how, but they do got a smokier room.

I'd like to thank him.

He's got a room just for smoking sausage.

Sausage room.

Personally smoked sausage for you.

A little smoky, buddy.

Lonesome Loser, man.

Yeah, thanks, Lonesome Loser.

Yeah, man, yeah, man.

Hey, man, Lonesome Loser, man.

He, you know, he did the hard work in mine there.

There, there.

So the numbers are hit, man.

Thanks you so much, brother.

My brother, my brother.

We're done

Thanks

Thanks everybody

Thanks

I'd like to thank also

All you wonderful listeners

Out there

Yeah them too

Them too

Yeah you know what

Whatever

It's all about you

Yeah sure it is

Every week

When you drop the dime

You just give us some time

And we all have some laughs

And smile

And go home together

All right

Back to me

Madhouse style

I'd like to thank also

Our special special leader

Here the famous leader

Of the Madhouse

The Generalissimo of the Madhouse Militia, Carlito.

Carlito.

That's right, everybody.

Gather in the master room.

We're going to have a hell of a party.

All of you new broadcasters can get located and have your special backroom invitation to the Madhouse Super Extravaganza.

God.

That's right, party.

Yeah, that's right.

Get ready for some fun, man.

All right.

That's right.

Thank you, thank you

I'm sorry, but this motherfucker

Don't let me talk

So I'm gonna shut the fuck up

Alright

Thank you so much

Alright, thanks

Milkman

Thank you for flying with American Airlines

To help me to fucking choose again, man

Yeah, fuck, they don't care

American Airlines sucks

Like I said, lonesome thanks, lonesome loser

Thank you Syndicate, everybody in Syndicate

it mrs dark jedi for holding down the four down there spike mike dino zolar everybody over there

lego for calling in grinch called in ted called in thank you everybody no gold stars awarded

tonight the only gold star winner was milkman and he had it voided out less than five minutes later

and i'm very disappointed so yeah guys say thanks everyone who showed up into the conference here

milkman of course thanks man can't do it without you thank you everyone you shut up yeah tuck

Tuck, thanks Tuck, Warrior, Ted.

Yeah, there'll be no pay raises this year

due to market conditions.

Exactly.

Oh, here's something we forgot to talk about.

About to get a motherfucking tax rebate, $600, man.

All right, everybody.

Woo-hoo!

Woo!

Yeah, I love it.

I'm going to buy so much weed with that money.

I can't wait.

I'm going to save the...

I'm going to help the economy up.

Yeah, thank you, George W.

Yeah.

Hey, Mano, listen, man, I need to talk to you after the show

so we can have a small madhouse board conference at the board.

Okay, you got it, man.

Give me a call at the house, the house machine.

You got it?

All right, man.

The show after the show.

I will dial the secret, secret red line to the house.

Okay, good.

All right, and, yeah, so, yeah, apparently, if you didn't know,

So if you're over 18, if you're a working, tax-paying American and you make less than, I believe it's less than $75,000 individual or $150,000 if you're in a couple.

Anyway, I think you're eligible for a $600 rebate this year at some point.

I suspect that sometime in the summer, hopefully, anybody out there who pays taxes is going to get at least a $600 rebate.

And if you're married, your spouse will also get $600, and you can get $300 per kid that you have for up to two kids.

So be sure that you follow through.

Look out for that.

I'm sure that the government –

$300 can be $300.

Yeah, I know.

Well, I'm sure that the federal government is going to probably spend about $25 million in mailing out just the notices about that.

Well, maybe not $25, but they'll probably spend several million.

You know, back in 2001 or 2002 when they did the $300 one, I think they spent like a few million dollars just mailing out the notification to everybody to let them know that we're going to get a check.

It was like, why don't I just send the fucking check, right?

Just send the check.

Hey, by the way, we're going to spend, I think it was maybe like $3 million they spent on it or something like that.

Anyway, so look out for your money check, everybody.

It's coming soon.

And I'm probably going to buy a new TV with that.

That's what I'm planning.

Or maybe a laptop.

can buy a lap a nice new laptop with that i don't know we'll see i gotta i gotta see i got six hundred

dollars gonna be burning a hole in my pocket probably around may or june i'm excited about it

so what are you guys gonna do with it let me let me ask you real quick round table ted what are

you gonna do with your six and a dollar rebate well your twelve hundred dollar rebate when you

get it because you're married i am going to recarpet the bedrooms all right recarpet the

bedrooms tuck what are you gonna do with your 600 not sure yet probably something needy okay

Okay? Okay.

He's going to buy a bunch of nudie magazines and alcohol.

Probably. Probably some...

It won't be DVDs. It won't be

magazines. He uses magazines.

He uses

magazines anymore. That's true.

Fuck magazines.

Give me a DVD, man. I'll take that.

I saw an HD-DVD porno movie

the other day. I was like, wow, that looks good.

Can't wait to see that sweat.

HD porn? Yeah. HD-DVD

porn. Come on. HD-DVD

scat porn. That's where it's at.

Unless it's going to be like National Geographic Explorer or something.

I don't know.

They're out there.

Warrior, what are you going to do?

Are you going to get HD DVD porn?

Jungle Tits.

Probably.

All right, cool.

That's Warrior's going to get porn.

Baz, are you out there?

Why not?

That has the Filipino sensation.

Yeah, man.

Yeah.

I don't know.

Probably use it on vacation.

Hey, oh, vacation.

That's a nice idea.

I'd like to do that.

Maybe I'll do a cruise.

Hey, I could go on a cruise, motherfucker.

There you go.

A cruise fucker.

That's cool.

Gangrene's gone.

I'm going to get $1,800.

I've got two kids.

Well, do it.

Do it.

Lucky bastard.

Two kids.

Yeah, I think so.

Okay, cool, man.

Go for it, dude.

Bring him down here to Disney.

Here in Orlando.

You'll have a great time.

Will do.

Sit on the show.

And Brandon has an answer.

Brandon, if you're there.

Any plans for your $600?

I'll probably get like an e-machines computer or something for $600 or something.

Okay, cool.

Cool.

All right, well.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

He wants a new rig.

Yeah.

We're all excited about our upcoming check

Look out for that

Brought to you by

The federal government

Spend needlessly and consume

Without concern

Yes

Anyway

We'll be back next week

Thank you everybody for listening

MadhouseLive.com

White Power

I am five seconds.

I'm five seconds.

This radio is live Thursday nights at 10 p.m. Eastern.

Why don't you shut the hell up?

Be sure to visit us online at madhouselive.com.

Calls (18, 58 min of 2 h 23 min)

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