2008-02-07 Show

Who the fuck is this?

You're listening to the House Radio Podcast.

Who the fuck is this?

What's up? House Radio is here.

We are live, we are proud, we are ready to do a big show.

So welcome.

Prepare to enjoy this created for you here with me tonight.

Milkman is not here yet, but we do have Tuck and Baz.

What's up, guys? How you doing?

Okay.

Tuck and Baz are doing good, apparently. Great.

Always glad to hear that.

If you're interested in knowing what this show is all about

If you've never heard us before

Be sure to check us at madhouselive.com

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You know where to do it

Okay, Tuck and Baz

Are you there now?

Tuck and Baz

It's appeared

talking about to be back i don't know oh oh i got a plane flight tomorrow i got to fly out

tomorrow so i'm not going to be doing a late show i'm probably only going to be able to do like an

hour guys i'm sorry sorry to tell you now maybe i'll go on until 11 30 eastern standard time

but normally we are on every thursday night we do prank calls and we do comedy if you want to

call in tonight you can also reach me at the toll-free line you're looking on the screen

it's somewhere over here over there i think i'm pointing at it right somewhere there i see

See right here.

There you go.

Oh, look at that big fat finger coming at you guys.

Somewhere around there, you're going to see a toll-free line.

888-278-8509.

While you're staring at my fat fingers, I can't.

I'm so retarded.

There we go.

If you click right about here, right about up there, you can subscribe to the Syndicate Radio Room.

So be sure if you have not yet somewhere up there, be sure to do that.

And then I got a little something there right there for you.

See that?

There you go.

All right, everybody.

everybody we're gonna have fun tonight we got stuff to talk about talk are you with me yet man

talk say something make a noise break a wind break a wind man come on break your mouth wind i don't

know god kill me with all this here yeah i gotta i gotta uh add some mods up in the syndicate radio

room here real quick but anyway um mitt romney has dropped out of the republican uh of the

republican uh primaries he's dropping his uh bid his run for the uh gop nomination so at this

this point john uh john carrey john mccain is apparently going to be the dude for the republicans

not bad not bad i have no sound effects tonight for some reason my sound effect board is not

loading up so for the time being you folks just gonna have to listen to me kind of bullshit here

and there while i do that um i got co uh kokanee as and it's now official it's not kokanee it's

kokanee uh kokanee has been sending in uh news stories this week thanks man he's at work tonight

i believe he said or he was going to be out or something like that maybe he'll join us later

but anyway um we got a uh we got a news story here some dude named ellis cleveland which right

there if that doesn't tell you oh oh listen to this guys those sound effects you guys know and

love yeah i like them apples i did it i did it i did it for you um this guy named ellis cleveland

uh was caught robbing a bank and they asked him if uh well he robbed four banks within a five day

span and when they arrested him that's what the cop told him the cop said hey you robbed uh you

robbed four banks and he said four i didn't do four i only robbed three banks but it doesn't

matter because i'm not talking to you guys i want a lawyer well unfortunately you already talked to

them you dumbass stupid moron so thanks to you and your little uh big mouth basically admitted

admitted to robbing three banks and pretty much gonna get in trouble for robbing a fourth what's

the point of robbing a bank i mean don't people always get caught has anybody ever not gotten

caught robbing the bank like eventually anybody except for that guy i mean large sums of money

and so and so much and so far the only person i ever heard there's some guy on a plane once some

guy in the 70s with a mustache and he uh he hijacked a plane or something and then he

parachuted out the back of it into like the pacific northwest area and he was never seen

again forgot that guy's name maybe some of you older listeners out there know what i'm talking

about i knew if uh milkman were around he'd know but i don't know the name i don't know what to

tell you uh anyway give me a moment here tuck are you with me yet tuck can you say something yet man

ah shit i know what it is hey tuck machine what's going on okay anyway tuck will hear me momentarily

uh also i want to say thanks i want to say thanks to clinton i say what the sequoia db cooper being

being called in by dark jedi thank you db cooper is the guy that's right um gold star for dark

jedi already early off in the show good deal man i think that's the first uh golden star for him

ever um i see a lot of people in the chat let's say what's up to uh god who do we got here now

of course dino as i said dark jedi is in there uh mrs dark jedi who's going as pleasure chest

that's funny oh that's funny yo i gotta i gotta add uh admin these people here let's say a buddy's

girl of course what's up uh dtt's in the house i see saigon's saigon's man if you were cool

you know most of the time i would you know maybe be able to oppie one day but you know i don't know

it's just there's a history there but cool you're you're a good guy see a lot of there i don't see

zola around tonight zola must be out uh i don't know must be going to sleep early tonight maybe

he's got a big day tomorrow you know uh i think he's on tomorrow so anyway i'm flying to

Pennsylvania tomorrow, and I'm hoping

I'm going to be there until Tuesday, and I'm hoping to see

snow for the first time. Hoping

to God that

I get to see snow for the first time this week

and never have. I've been born and raised in Florida.

I've never seen snow in my life. I'm not

planning on driving, and I know that much.

Madhouse Radio, you're on the air.

Hey, what's going on, milkman?

So,

we're talking about

well, nobody's talking. I think Tuck finally

made it back. Tuck should be able to hear me now. Tuck, you

hear me? Say something, and damn it. Okay, good.

Good, Tuck. Good one.

Anyway, D.B. Cooper. What do you know about D.B. Cooper, man?

That's the guy that did the first major backhand that jumped out of the back of the plane.

Okay, I hear it.

Hello?

Hey, Tuck.

He's eating nothing.

Tuck's talking over you.

Tuck, remember, they can hear you on the phone now, man.

We've got Tuck on the line here.

I can't hear Tuck.

No, he'll talk eventually. He'll get to it.

No, we're talking about D.B. Cooper.

So he hijacked a plane over the Pacific, and then he parachuted out the back of the plane or something like that?

like a like a regular like airliner it was like i think it was a 707 or a 727. i guess he went out

oh wow he probably died when he went out that you know he supposedly took the fairies in the

middle of the night probably impacted the money really in a watershed really so so yeah he probably

didn't make it but he that's balls though man he he almost got away with it oh he was like the

really first commercial hijacker i mean i mean no one ever thought of doing that that bastard

said the trend for Al-Qaeda, man.

Yeah, that's the problem.

Yeah, you know, heaven forbid the day

DTT gets his hand on Microsoft Air Simulator

or whatever the, you know, flight simulator.

Except for that.

Yeah, so Milkman, how's your week been, dude?

On your period?

Who is this?

Is this Sweet Kisses?

Hey, what's going on, Sweet Kisses?

How you doing, sister?

Good.

Good, good, good.

You sound very youthful tonight.

Of course.

Of course I knew that.

I knew that.

Of course.

I'm not 80.

No, of course not.

No, you're not in your early 40s.

No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

Oh, man.

So, how's the dog business going?

You're a dog breeder, aren't you?

Do you breed dogs?

I have.

How often do you sell, like, what do you breed?

What breed are you breeding?

Yorkies.

Yorkies, you breed, oh, those are popular dogs.

She's pregnant again.

Wow, how often does she get pregnant?

She has a litter.

Is it twice a year that she has a litter, or is it more than that?

Twice a year?

And you make some pretty good money on those puppies, I bet, huh?

Is it an AKC-registered dog that you're...

AKC.

Wow.

Your doll baby.

That's the racket right there, you know?

That's some good money right there.

I've got to start breeding cats or something.

There's no money in breeding cats.

You've got to breed dogs.

Yeah, Milkman's a big, big pooper.

Yeah.

He looks like the dog.

Yeah, that's true.

We're going to start breeding Milkman.

We're going to start breeding Milkman, little Milkman puppies out there,

and selling them for, like, you know, 50 cents.

Yeah, exactly. Give us money and we'll get rid of these guys.

It's good talking to you.

Alright, so Milkman, how soon until you get home do you think?

Close, probably within the next 15 minutes. I'm just getting off the 405.

Okay, the 405. Is that the big road in LA? Is that the deal?

Yeah, that's like one of the main ones. It's about seven lanes wide.

Right, okay.

Yeah, and so I'm working my way through.

Seven lanes wide.

I can't imagine being on a road like that.

Yeah, who's going to stop someone on those highways there, man?

They'll paralyze the whole fucking highway for everybody.

Yeah, the far right lane, they get in the exits, and everyone else is just flying, huh?

Okay, okay.

Yeah, well, usually, this time, you're usually stuck in traffic.

Well, yeah, and I'm not going to go on late tonight, was why I was asking,

because I have my flight tomorrow.

I'm flying out to PA, to Pennsylvania.

Tell us, we can't talk about your plan.

I've been telling her about some of your plans.

Oh, it's not this.

This is not the show yet.

I'm going to be looking at places to hold it, hopefully, where we can hold it.

But we're going to have this big show this May, May of 2009.

We're going to have one big last final Madhouse get-together.

We've got people coming from all over who have been with us forever.

You've got the Dad Says He's Coming, and Lonesome Loser, and Zolar, and Lego.

I'm hoping Dino shows up.

And everybody from all over, the names are countless of people who say they want to come.

Tuck said he might try to come up from the northern south.

And it's going to be a big thing.

We're going to do a live show.

We're going to broadcast it.

We're going to have a lot of people.

We're going to be drinking and having a good time.

Is that what we're talking about, Milkman?

Is that what you meant?

Yeah.

It's going to be my bachelor party slash final manhouse show.

We've got to stop jinxing it so much.

We can't talk about it too much.

But, yeah, it's May of 2009, everybody.

everybody, keep, stay tuned for that information, we gotta do prank calls, bro, it's, it's time to

do prank calls, what is the date today, today, well, I don't have any, uh, I see lonesomes in

there, lonesomes in the house, uh, false says I should breed the deads, that's a good idea,

you know, breeding the deads, the dead's gonna be a dad, the dad, wow, all right, well, hey,

mouth will talk, dog not, I know, that's nasty, I know what a dog not is, that's sick, yeah,

Yeah, God, dog nuts.

Come on, let me be the dog dad of it.

So, the dad, all right, well, we'll have to get the straight story from the dad on that.

We got a girl pregnant.

I thought it was a virgin still.

It's been tonight, you know, so I don't know.

I heard that he's, like, working on the dog unit.

Yeah, yeah.

Is it fall?

Is fall pregnant?

As far as I know, she's not.

God, Amy Rose and the dad, that's got to be beautiful.

All right, well, whatever, whatever.

Yeah, anyway, so, yeah, we're waiting on some numbers here.

If you want to send in numbers, please go ahead.

you know please feel free to send in some numbers to us uh i don't know we can call one of these

older numbers uh milkman if you want to stay on or we can talk about some news stories i don't

know if i'm gonna have time to do pranks tonight man it's okay cool cool did you ever god did you

did you ever find uh an international card because i got tons of numbers and i'm just i'm getting

numbers in from lonesome uh we got some in england we got we got one in honolulu that i'm gonna call

oh there's a tommy hill figure uh tommy hill figure look at that i think that's that's at

the store though okay all right like a tommy hilfiger outlet maybe here's a jiffy lube all

right jiffy lube man i love jiffy lube so you get a good deal of jilt jiffy lube i see what's going

on here hang on let me let me uh all right so we're gonna call a jiffy lube in honolulu what

time is it in honolulu right now is it's uh 8 p.m 8 okay let's call jiffy lube everybody i don't

have any hawaiian music we'll just play this it's close enough cool milkman hang on everybody

we're coming back milkman carlito and a prank call

We're calling Keen Dealing, I'm Jiffy Lube, Jeremy speaking, how can I help?

Hey, mahalo, mahalo.

Hello?

Hey, mahalo, you there?

Hey, what's going on, buddy?

Hey, is this the Jiffy Lube?

Yes, it is.

Can I ask you a few questions about your different packages?

Like, I'm looking for a quick oil change.

Okay.

Like, what are your ranges?

What's your cheapest one, like 19?

Well, it depends what kind of car you have, you know?

$36.99 for the conventional oil change.

Synthetic blend and high mileage is $56.99 and full synthetic is $69.99.

So what's the difference? Because of the synthetic-ness of the oil?

Yep, and you're just pretty much paying for the...

Dude, there's some places that only charge like $19, man.

Yeah, that's not us, though.

So what do you guys do that's so special? You're just changing the oil?

We check all the fluids under the hood. We check the tire pressure.

What do you do with that? For $19, they top off all my fluids except for the radiator.

They only pop off the reservoir, and they top off, they check all the fluids and belts, and they vacuum.

They check the belts, yeah.

You guys check the belts?

We check the belts and let you know if you need to replace them.

But we only replace serpentine belts, yeah.

If you have more than one belt running off the alternator, we usually don't replace those.

Oh, that's good.

Good.

That's good to know.

And here's another thing.

I don't want to be going there.

I don't want you people to start trying to upsell me, like, you need to get your radiator flushed, you know.

Well, that's what it is.

You can decline all those.

I get pressured.

You can decline all that, yeah.

I went in once to, not a Jiffy Lube, it was your competitor, and the guy kind of, he shook me down.

He made me and my daughter feel nervous.

He said, I told him, I was like, look, I don't need my radiator, plus it's fine, fine.

Then he said, you need your, look at this air filter here.

You know, it could start a fire and you could crash and your daughter could die, he said, your daughter.

And I said, look, you know, sir, I don't want to get the air filter.

I know how to change the air filter.

It costs like five bucks and I can put it in.

It's like, fine, if you want to take a chance with the life, chance with the life, go ahead and do it.

That's what he said exactly.

Just like that.

Well, we don't do that here, yeah?

What was this?

Yeah.

It's called scare tap.

We don't do that kind of stuff here.

If you don't want to do the service, that's fine.

Who pushed the button over there?

You know.

What was that?

Someone pushed the button.

I can barely hear you, yes.

Someone pushed the button.

Who pushed the button over there?

Nobody pushed the button.

I didn't hear anything.

I heard this. Something like that. That was number five. What's that? Is that the code?

What?

Is that the code? When you hit number five, is that the code for the other person?

For what? What are you talking about?

Well, you're trying to get the runaround with me, probably.

Sir, I'm just trying to answer your question as best as possible.

Okay, well...

It sounds like you're being very hostile for no reason.

I've had the runaround, and I've been...

I know you had a bad experience previously, but that wasn't at this Jiffy Loop, so don't take it out on me.

It might have been at that Jiffy Lube, you don't know.

And it might have been.

Maybe I'm just keeping it a secret.

But I'm testing you.

I'm testing you.

You got to understand, this car is my baby.

It's my car machine, man.

You know all the things I've done in there?

Oh, my God.

I've had so many meals.

I've conceived two children in that car.

I lived three months out of the car, as a matter of fact.

That car is my church.

It's like my church.

So what are the dangers if I don't get this synthetic thing?

And what's the big freaking deal?

Oil is oil.

That's up to you.

It doesn't matter if you get the synthetic.

If you don't want the synthetic, don't get the synthetic.

You don't have to.

So what's the synthetic do?

Because it's fake, right?

It's like manufactured, like imitation oil?

No, I mean man-made oil, yeah?

It's not natural.

What was that?

Some fentanyl oil.

What was that?

I'm just letting you know about the oil.

Okay, go ahead.

What was what?

You're asking me a question.

I heard the button again.

So frustrated, but no, seriously, man.

They start trying to upsell you and upcharge you this,

and you need this, you need that.

Yeah, you don't need that, people.

You don't need to get, do your own air filters in your car, for the love of God.

The synthetic oil is good.

You should use synthetic oil.

You should ask for synthetic oil.

It's very important because it carries less heat, and it's safer for your engine, people.

Synthetic oil is much safer for your engine.

That's a proven fact.

Especially Penn's oil, synthetic oil, is very good.

But, look, for those of you who maybe are going to start driving for the first time soon,

a lot of you ladies who listen to the show, whenever you go to get your oil changed,

don't let them talk you into doing the air filter

because they're going to charge you probably double

if not more the price

and it costs you a few

all you got to do is you go to the auto parts

and say hey I drive a 99 Toyota Camry

and I need an air filter

and they'll give it to you

and it's going to cost you like 5, 6, 7 bucks

and all you got to do is you open up your trunk

and you take out the one filter you put it in

it's easier than changing the cartridge on your

on your on your um on your razor that you use to shave yourself that's that's how easy it is

everybody so it's just bigger exactly just like he would so bucks entertainment.com who i want

to say is helping sponsor us on syndicate radio.tv thank you very much uh sequoia is mentioning yeah

the wipers too they always try to push the wipers on you when you get your oil changed

wipers are are are just as easy to install on your car than anything it takes you like five

seconds to do and you spend a lot less money if you buy your own wipers and that's easy to do

when you go get that air filter at the same time you go and you say i also need you know what i do

i i fix you know every 300 everywhere every 3 000 miles the light of my car goes off and i go i go

on my lunch break or i go on saturday afternoon and i get my oil change and the same time i go

right next door and i go to the auto parts and i get myself a new air filter and i get myself a

a new set of wiper blades, and I put that all in the parking lot, it takes me no more

than five minutes, and I'm able to get home in time after my lunch break, get my oil changed,

get new wipers, new air filter in the car, it's very important, everybody, take care

of your cars, this is wise, and the most important investment you can make is your car, right

after your house, milkman, you were going to say, please go ahead, bullshit, yeah, and

then what, the whole, when they'll tell you, oh, your oil is sludgy, look at this, they'll

They'll stick their finger in, and they'll bring it out, and they'll show it to you in their finger in your hand.

And they'll put it in their fingers, like, you see how sludgy this oil is?

This 80% of engine failure is due to the oil sludge.

Blah, blah, blah, blah.

You need to put...

Exactly.

If you let them, you piss them off, they'll rub it right in your face like a dirty Sanchez.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's just so stupid.

Like, look at this.

Like, you feel so embarrassed.

Like, you're so dirty.

Like, how dare your oil get dirty and black?

It's supposed to get black.

Oil goes black, all right?

That's just what happens.

I mean, unless you've got really bad habits, as long as you're changing your oil on time, you don't have to worry about sludge buildup.

Maybe once every five years, maybe you should run one of those cleaning kits.

And then again, you can buy it yourself and run it, right?

You can buy it yourself for a lot cheaper and do it yourself.

So don't fall for the hype.

They charge you, these places charge you like 19 bucks for an oil change for a reason because they make their money up, you know, upselling you and everything.

Look up for the upsell, everybody.

Look up for the upsell.

Milkman, another prank call is in order, I believe.

Every $100,000.

What?

Every $5,000.

You should really every $3,000.

I go $5,000 because I'm cheap.

I save, you know, it gives me one less oil change a year.

But now my car is pretty old, so I am doing every $3,000.

You only have to do this every 100,000 miles.

That's what the auto manufacturers want you to do.

No, they don't.

They tell you to go every $3,000, man.

What are you talking about?

If you're going to stay in warranty, you've got to go every $3,000.

You've got to take it to the dealership.

I'm driving a 2008 right now.

This car, 22 miles on what I got.

There's not even oil dips.

Until the light goes off and then you take them to the dealer and they'll check the oil for you.

Come on.

Once every 100,000 miles.

Bullshit.

And the water, the oil they say is good as water, man.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, that's what they want you to do every two years.

Yeah, I know.

You'll never get to that 100,000 miles.

Can I say something?

Hey, gangrene, say something, you Mexican.

What's going on?

I

I ain't drunk, man.

What are you drinking tonight, Coronas?

No, man.

I'm drinking Jack and Coke.

Jack and Coke.

I like Jack and water.

Oh, man, I hear you're gangrene.

Gangrene-go.

I love you, man.

Thanks for being here.

Good to hear you, bro.

He's tracking a guy named Coke.

Yeah.

Good to hear you, Tuck.

Tuck's talking, too.

what the echo uh are you uh you're getting a tornado here in tennessee it was crazy hey oh

that's one of my stories tuck uh coke and he sent that in he was wondering if you were close to that

there was a gas fire yeah tornado it's just sad he keeps saying the mall is gone sears is gone

no more sneakers and baby clothes man if it's had like a tornado go through the downtown stuff

stuff, yeah, well, shit, man, that's crazy, well, I'm glad you made it out, want some

more prank calls, how about that, all right, uh, Milkman, are you home yet, man, yo, you're

not drinking warm milk, are you, sweet kisses, yeah, sour milk, the dead is not in here,

gangren, um, all right, we're gonna call, I don't have an international card yet, do

I, well, I got numbers in Nevada, we got a casino, man, we haven't called a casino in

a while, all right, man, I gotta get some casino sound effects, hey, yo, you know, gangren

Green, we should become blackjack dealers.

Me and Gangerin are going to go for that, man.

Yo, no, no.

No me gusta esta blackjack.

Solo poker.

Yo puedo ganar bien.

Poker.

Harley-Nor.

Esta blackjack, tu no puedes ganar nada.

Yeah, no.

Blackjack, you have the best chance in the casino.

You have the best odds.

You can't make no money dealing it.

Not dealing it, no.

Yeah, that's true.

Well, you're supposed to get tipped.

Yeah, but.

Poker.

Yeah, poker, you can get some good tips.

Dude, I make $500 a night.

You work in a casino?

Yeah, I'm working in Harlow's Casino in Greenville.

I didn't know there were casinos out there.

On the weekend only.

No kidding, really?

Oh, cool, cool.

Cool, they're pretty strict when you've got to go through a lot of background checks and stuff like that, I'm sure, right?

Yeah, to get your gaming commission back.

Man, that sucks.

You got a drug test for that?

No, they didn't drug test any of the dealers because they knew they wouldn't have any.

All right, cool.

Awesome.

Okay, we're going to call it Depot Casino and Diner.

Casino and Diner.

Uh, this is in Nevada.

Milkman, are you 59 years old?

There's a guess here that you're 59 years old.

Is that correct, yes or no, Milkman?

87 years old, Bone Thugger, sorry.

He'll never get his training.

He'll never know his real age.

You're right, Tucker.

It's a mystery for the histories.

No, I want to know his real age for the histories.

That is what I said.

All right, look, guys, come on.

Let's focus here.

We're calling the Depot, Casino, and Diner.

Quit getting me off of track.

We'll be right back in a moment.

Milkman, hurry up and get home.

You guys seating still?

What games do you have there?

Games.

I said, what kind of games, guy?

What's going on with you?

What are you, what, you on the ball?

We have what?

Let me see your ID, sir.

Just a minute.

What's your ID?

Gang Green, yes, they can hear you, Gang Green.

How you doing?

How you doing tonight?

I'm good, sir.

I'm calling, I'm asking about the games that you have.

Do you have a, do you have card games, slot games, what's the games of chance?

Everything that we have are mostly multi-denominations, uh, slot machines.

We don't have any kind of tables of any sort, pretty much just slot machines and a bar.

Dude, call a real casino, this place sucks.

No table games?

Seriously, no table games?

You fucking Indians?

Put us through to Stockman's, man.

I can't push you through.

No, sir.

Transparency to surveillance.

You're talking.

It doesn't work, man.

Well, you need to call a casino that has table games.

Yeah.

Then I ask for pit one.

And then what?

Then what I'm going to do is I'm going to say, on BJ2, there's some guy in seat one with a dealer.

What's up, Milkman?

The audio is big, though.

Was it really?

We're going to get some on the rest.

What's that right now?

Sort of a normal game.

Yeah, normal.

Kiki Kuka?

My name's the cat.

2-3 testing, 1-2-3 distance.

Yeah, Tuck, we're hearing you, man.

Tuck.

Ooh, show clubs.

I want to call them to the casino.

We're going to call the...

What?

We kiss and pull Milkman's finger.

Look, is that a little euphemism for giving him a handy?

Is that what it is?

No.

I'm not playing, wow.

Her specialty is a blowjob and a...

What graphic have you to say about your girlfriend on the phone?

Very nice.

Very classy of you.

I love Milkman's blowjobs.

All right, we're going to call a cult in casino here before things get any more awkward.

You're listening to Madhouse Radio on 98.6 The Mouth and SyndicateRadio.tv.

This is going to be a short show, a short shit show.

Shush, shush, shush.

98.6 and a half.

I need a good one, please.

It is time. What's up?

One.

And you're going to try talking to them, but if they can't hear you, you're going to have to cut in, all right?

No, I'm going to get someone in trouble. Hold on.

I don't think this place has a pit.

Sounds like one of those other restaurants slash casinos.

Like a damn gimmick.

Colin, Broadway, Colvin Casino.

This is Amelia.

May I help you?

Is this pit one?

Hello?

Is this pit one?

Yes, this is the fucking casino.

Is this the pit?

Oh.

This is surveillance.

So what's your idea with the surveillance thing, anyway?

Well, what you do is you act like you're calling from surveillance

and then say, like, BJ2, that there's some guy cheating.

He's counting the cards.

You need to watch him.

You want to get him in trouble.

Cards, man.

What's the big deal?

How do you get...

It's like someone's sitting down at a table...

Hey, just call the 1-800...

It's blocked, man.

I mean, right now, it's busy.

Milkman's stuck on it still.

Milkman, are you home yet?

Okay, I'm going to shut up.

You just make brain calls.

The show's going nowhere.

Milkman, how soon are you going to be home?

You've been just about home for like 10 minutes, 20 minutes now.

I'm on my last stretch now.

Hey, Carlito.

What's up, gangrene?

What's up, man?

One time in band camp, there was this girl with a flute.

Then they ended up getting married.

Because here, we're going to call TD's Show Clubs in a moment.

Let's do it.

TD's Show Clubs.

Doing this one.

The rest of you are going to listen.

down your name what's your name how do you spell it yeah freaking say that tonight as long as it's

been going on is it the only person you that you've experienced this with tonight by the only

person you experience this with tonight and still my name's carlito you know what this is this is

worse than the emmy rose show that's really fun way worse thank you i appreciate that that's a

very nice thing why would you say something like that emmy rose all she does is play music why

Why you got to be mean to her?

No, dude, she does karaoke.

It's funny.

Oh, she does?

Well, leave her alone.

Let her do her karaoke, man.

She does a good job around here.

She holds the fort down all afternoon.

Dude, I love fat chicks.

Yeah, well, hey, me too,

as long as there's a little meat in there, you know?

That's all I care.

A hole's a hole.

All right, make another call.

Be funny, damn it.

Come on, Key.

Let's see what Zev to Zev sent in.

He always gets the people with the webcam.

Let's see here.

We got a guy calling himself George.

George, I say George, okay?

He was in a porno webcam chatroom, as normal here,

with these ones that he sends in, these leads that we get from him usually.

Sakatua got our girl named Nancy, and I guess he wanted to hook up, so let's do it.

He's in Virginia. This guy's called George. Let's try it now.

Emmy Rose is an overweight midget.

Fuck Rev.

Not a fat chick. He's got a point, though. She's short.

I love Rev. I mean, I love Emmy Rose.

What the fuck was that?

We're switching channels.

Let's talk about it.

Call me back.

All right, I see Milkman made it in here finally.

Good.

Welcome to the show, Milkman.

Welcome to the show.

My, my, my.

Great, now we're getting an echo.

Just what I needed.

Hang on, let me mute that.

Try to come back in.

And Milkman still has an echo, so we're going to block him.

Milkman, get that taken care of, please.

Thank you.

Zolar is God, who I can only assume is, what's his face?

Who was that one kid that was really into, um, into Zolar?

Who was that guy?

You know, what's McCall?

Yeah, you know who I'm talking about.

The guy on that show.

No, the guy on that show.

He's crazy.

I don't know who he's, he's that one kid.

I forgot, is that some Asian kid with a funny looking dick?

He says that we should have said we're going to ship him back to Mexico to do donkey shows

and punishment.

Who's he fucking talking about?

Say the guy's a terrorist.

Oh, no.

That's stupid.

That's a stupid idea.

I don't want to go back to Mexico.

Yeah.

Dr. Lego.

I like it here.

Dr. Lego's in the house.

Oh, man.

Dino says on Stern Fan Network, they said Amy Rose looks like the mom from Throw Mama

from the Train.

That's fucked up, dude.

Because that woman was like...

God.

I would have thrown her from the train.

Hey, did you hear Dr. Leo kick Eric off the show forever?

Oh, hey, tell me about this.

Was there drama on the air yesterday that I missed?

Because I heard the second half of the show.

So, Lego had Eric in?

Is that what it was?

Eric cannot come back to the studio.

Eric was in, and Dino got on the phone with him,

and they got into it, and the kind of drama on your syndicate TV,

and I don't know really what it was all about, but it was entertaining.

Oh, Jesus.

Oh, God.

Well, I missed that.

Thank you.

I tuned in, but I tuned in like at 11.15 last night.

I think it was already over by then.

By the time I tuned in, it was over.

Yeah, Lego had Eric over there in the studio for some reason.

Well, he does, usually.

And I don't really listen to Lego.

I just happened to tune in yesterday.

You know, that high-pitched Eric, he's a loose cannon.

He's a broken arrow, as they call it in the military.

You never know where he's going to go.

Yeah, getting death threats and getting called into jail and shit.

Here's what I understand.

Doing death threats, and then he got charges pressed on him,

Was down to the wire

Just like when he was going to get kicked out of the house he lives in

Was down to the wire

And he got lucky

And from what I understood

Wasn't it early this week or last week

They were saying that he was already back to it again with the lady

It's like come on chill out dude

You don't want to have people

I think I don't know

If it's the same woman

But he was cussing out

On the air

On Lego show

Some girl

Could have been the same girl

who has been having these issues with on the air live

doing the exact same thing earlier in the show.

It was just strange to me.

Yeah, but I was excited.

I did not get it.

I was, I was, I was.

I was excited this week to have heard Syndicate Radio mention so much as I did

on the Stern Show and Howard 100 and Howard 101.

Yeah, well, what's that about, Amy?

Well, no, because, you know, Eric the Midget,

is being featured on Johnny Frodo, whatever.

You know, here's the deal.

See if I can instruct Milkman to stop the music.

Milkman, you have an echo still, man?

All right, hold on.

All right, Milkman, stop that music.

No, man, I'm okay.

Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!

Thank you, Eric. Bye-bye now.

All right, thank you.

Yeah, thank you, Milkman, for that,

reminding us of that episode that I had once.

Anyway, you know, that's Johnny Frodo guy.

I don't know anything about him.

Like, I know he had some thread that was going on SternFatNetwork.

I went in there a few times and read it.

It looked like it was confusing and long and boring.

And it looked like a lot of people who were just spending too much time on the Internet to me.

So I never got into it.

I go into SternFatNetwork, you know, I usually just look at the front page of posts maybe, you know, once every three, every two or three days I'll go in.

Or if I hear something on the Stern Show that I say, you know what, it might be interesting to see other people's feedback on this.

Then I'll go in and read about Artie or something like that.

You know, stuff like that.

Anyway, I guess what's going on is there's a lot of beef and drama between Johnny Frato's social club people and Syndicate and all those accusations and this and that.

And apparently Eric the Midget was dropping dimes on the show saying that Syndicate Radio does file sharing, which I know for a fact isn't true, man.

Nobody in Syndicate is involved with that kind of malarkey.

but you know you know it's not cool to be going on on the air and and saying that to howard because

howard's gonna be like fuck that yeah anyway good luck with that well anyway the fucking problem is

you know now you know we got this nice underground thing going on here we're all having fun and all

it's doing is getting people at serious and stuff like that to start looking at and start you know

cutting strings around here so fuck that shit so is that what they were arguing about was eric

involved in that yeah dino go in the uh air with uh him and eric and i guess i was about because

dino laid laid the law on eric he just would cussed him out pretty good whatever anyway it's

just uh i don't know that sounded just like him right there that's pretty good okay let's do some

more prank calls let's get over this sounds like it's like kdk drama coming up all over again here

here you know what i mean i don't want to delve back into that fuck you fuck you fuck you that's

a very good impersonation all right scooby's dubai park pub this is in junction city wisconsin

apparently i mean that's what they tell me here show's almost over we got like 15 minutes left

because i'm not doing a long show tonight like i said guys i got a plane i got a plane flight

to catch tomorrow morning and i got a pack still so you know i always went to the last minute you

You know me, Carlito, huh?

Procrastinator.

We're right back with the next prank call of the night.

The Park Pub, one moment.

Scoobies?

What answer is that?

You're very indecisive.

Is it not at a certain time, or did you guys go out of business finally?

That kind of deal.

I'm just asking, is it closed or what?

What's going on?

Veils of secrecy with that lady.

We're going to call her right back.

Hi, this is the Cuskies.

We are not able to answer your call right now.

The Cuskies?

What do you think the name of that is?

Who the fuck wants to be called Cusky?

Me.

Sounds like you got a rotten ass.

I got the Cuskies.

I don't want the fucking Cuskies.

Are you still drunk, man?

Is that what your deal is?

I feel drunk, dude.

I'm post.

How much did you have to drink?

A lot.

Okay.

How many beers?

Shut up.

Well, you didn't have any beers, right?

Four beers and seven Jack and Cokes.

And how long?

Like two hours?

Three hours?

Two hours.

Two hours?

You want me to shut up and just listen?

No, no, no.

No, I'm just wondering, just trying to get a gauge of how drunk you are exactly.

Very.

Carlito.

Milkman.

Hey, Milkman.

Check your Gmail, man.

Yeah, send it in.

Milkman has an international card.

Yeah, bye-bye.

We can call some international numbers.

That's good news, man.

Of course.

Let's call Mexico and do the show.

Fuck yeah, let's do that, man.

Our buddy, our good friend and representative in the U.K.

in our UK office at the Madhouse.

Sir Nunu of Wankershire

is asking for

international calls.

Bring the Madhouse. We do comply.

Hey, how come Nia won't talk to me

in English? Nia's

weird. She got weird.

You know how girls get. They get weird.

Nia is cool. Madhouse Radio, you want to talk to Carlito?

I love Nia. Hey, this is

Jonathan. What's going on, buddy?

Cornelius. Cornelius. You know

that movie Fight Club. Cornelius.

Is that where I got my name?

No, you like that movie, huh?

That's a good movie.

Cornelius.

Cornelius, hang on.

Guys, guys, we have a caller on the line, so let's all be quiet and be respectful.

All right, Cornelius, now what were you saying?

You got that nickname in high school?

Good.

All right, so what's going on?

You've talked to me before?

You said long time, or what's the deal?

$12 an hour?

Wow, you're talking really low.

Where's the phone right now?

Are you using a Bluetooth headset or something?

You're in a cell?

Can you move it a little bit closer to your mouth?

Hello?

There you go.

All right, Cornelius.

Gold star.

What are you doing with the phone exactly?

Are you going to cover it with your shirt?

Are you going to be incognito?

You got to do a call.

You want to call Britain?

You ever heard of that place before?

Okay, good.

Well, if it's really far away and we saved their asses a few years ago,

if we're going to call, or do you like Tommy Hilfiger?

How do you feel about Tommy Hilfiger?

Do you like that stuff or not?

Dude, I'm not going to do a prank call if you're going to talk with a phone in your cheek, man.

Oh, God damn it.

Fucking call.

Fucking don't get the phone out of your fucking ass.

Jesus Christ.

Thank you for calling in, Cornhole.

Oh, yeah.

I'm going to sign for phone code, and you get the phone out of your cornhole.

He's like this.

He's like.

Talk like a man.

Like a man.

Man talk this.

The young kids don't know how to use telephones.

Yeah, people like me talk.

I'm making the minimum wage.

$4.75 an hour.

He's making $12 an hour now, Milkman.

Be respectful, man.

Come on.

That's the man's livelihood there.

I'm sorry.

I wish I was 15 making $12 an hour.

He ain't making that money.

Making that chattel.

Doesn't make that much more than me.

I sold my mama lunch money.

That's how I got that much money.

You think his mom gives him $12 for lunch every day?

That's a lot of money.

That's a lot of food.

He's probably fat like me.

My mama's lit, man.

She's only 482 pounds, man.

Man, she married to my father.

My father be a Jack Masterson.

You got it.

Okay.

Calls.

Pranks.

We're doing now before you run out of time.

Hurry.

We must.

Milkman, thanks for sending in that.

Let's call the UK, man.

Thanks for sending in the international phone card.

I appreciate it.

We're going to call Ruth Hobbs in Essex, England.

Just a moment, folks.

Wankershire, England.

Sir Nuno of his mouth.

Yep.

Wankershire, England.

That's his hometown, folks.

Wankershire.

A lot of shires over there, huh?

the mayor of wankershire the duke of earl of wankershire duke of earl yeah

god damn it milkman you know it's fucking uh black awareness month why would you talk

stuff like that that's not nice you know why man i love black people yeah so it doesn't mean you

should go around saying stuff my friends and my people don't get it wrong baby i love my friends

man they just happen to be black your friends just happen to be black like it's unfortunate

Unfortunate or something.

That's very nice.

Unfortunately, they're black.

Listen here, my brother.

It would be better if they were white.

I'm a brother.

I'm a undercover brother.

I got my bro's slip back.

Man, everybody knows, man, the milkman's a black man, right?

Nobody knows that the milkman is really a chocolate milkman.

The milkman has black teeth and black toenails.

Bomb number.

Black toenails.

That's nasty.

Chocolate Milkman here, baby

That's right, right here in the madhouse

Yeah, right in the madhouse

Right in the fucking madhouse

The madhouse taint

The taint express here tonight

Bad boys of Iowa are checking in

The taint of the prank world

We ain't assholes and we ain't dicks

We the taint of the prank world

Milkman, come on

That's enough, listen

Yes sir

Bad boys of Iowa, they're checking in here

here crawdaddy is checking in here he said crawfish is checking in um he's asking why did

we choose thursday night to do the madhouse why not a friday or saturday night well okay that's

easy you know milkman i'm gonna put you on mute now because you're not gonna stop all right knock

it off you're driving me fucking nuts here okay why do we choose that well you know originally

when we started the show on the on the old network on on the other network um a long time ago that

That was the only slot that was available.

And Zolar was on Friday nights, and Zolar is still on Friday nights.

And I'm not going to go on against Zolar.

I don't feel like it.

Number one.

So number one, anyway, the show originally started on Thursday because on the station that we started on, this was the only time it was available.

And to be honest with you, I have a life, and I don't always want to be around on a Friday or Saturday night doing a show.

And I figured Thursday was as close as possible to the weekend without interfering in my social life.

So it's close enough.

i i used to always call it the unofficial start to the weekend thursday night you know friday most

people slag or they take the day off like myself a lot of people i got tomorrow off you know

because i'm going to be on an airplane with a broken ipod man this sucks my ipod is broken i

can't use it on my plane flight so i'm kind of bummed out about that man i'm gonna have to stick

to my laptop and my phone which plays mp3s i can put up to two gigs of music on that so i'm going

to be relying on that but i'm not going to have the normal 60 gigs that i have on my ipod because

the headset phone headphone jack is broken on it sucks not about to like pay 95 bucks they want to

charge me 95 bucks to fix my ipod man i mean for that amount might as well just buy the new ipod

you know might as well get a uh i was thinking about getting an 80 gig uh 80 gig classic or

classic or not the ipod touch because you can't even there's no buttons on it so you can't turn

Turn the volume down without looking at it.

Just get a regular iPod with a click wheel.

Well, yeah, that's what I'm saying.

The classic.

They got a newer version of the classic version.

Madhouse Radio, you're on the air.

up man i've been saying that a lot lately

what's up what's up dino is this dino yeah man what's up nigga how you doing i'm sorry look at

me throwing the n-word around like i'm black wow all right how you doing man i'm crying calls going

yeah you want to do i'm i gotta go soon man i got that flight tomorrow i gotta pack still i always

went to the last minute to pack my stuff man all right because i do me a favor when you're on the

fucking flight yeah get a hot looking stewardess take her in the bathroom fuck her in the ass and

then ask her for some peanuts i would but the old lady is going to be flying with me but on the way

back i'm flying by myself so you know what you do slip some sleeping pills before you get on the

the plane so she knocks out yeah i'm gonna slip him in i'm gonna slip a mickey in her in her drink

all right dude just wanted to give you a shout out and shit but if you're gonna be

logging off man yeah pretty soon have fun have a safe trip dude and i guess you know

let's do a prank you know come on man we got time we got time all right call dial up dude

you ever call england you want to call england or i got a sports girl call some of them fucking

benny hillcock fucking motherfuckers all right let's do it fucked up teeth raymond bradley

coming up hey i probably should not have been talking about the whole drama thing my bad if i

if i did something i should not have done thought about that in hindsight you know what i mean it's

all good raymond bradley in brighton england coming up ready dino yeah good not me here we go now i'm

ready hello okay i'm you gonna be there are you a comedian or something i'm not a comedian

plans are t you're supposed to pick me up and take me to see the queen i was supposed to come

on her face and then wipe my cock off with her wig you didn't get the memo my god i've got a

Pratt on the phone.

Pratt.

I got it wrong, Pratt.

Oh, my God.

It's funny.

Pratt.

Vice girls and shit tattooed across his back.

Duh.

Yeah.

Underdog Sports Girl.

You want to hang on for one more?

I'll start it off.

All right.

Set it off.

This is in America, though.

No, not Britain.

This is the Sports Girl, though.

Music go.

Man, this has been a wacky night.

Dino, how you been, man?

How are the kids?

How's everything?

Oh, right, man.

Just hanging in there, man.

I've been gone for a while, as you know, but I'm back.

Oh, yeah.

This is probably going to be the last prank of the night, everybody.

So, just look.

I hang my head up.

Boys, hello?

Rex Valiant.

Look, this is a sports group.

Rex Hook, agent for Roberto Perez.

He's on the line here.

He's an MLB player from the Dominican Republic.

We're trying to get him some privacy.

He doesn't want to sit with the common people.

You guys got like a table you can rope off, like a little section?

Oh, fuck me.

All right.

Dude, you translate for me.

This is going to be fun.

All right.

Okay, sorry about that.

What were you saying, sir?

Okay.

I'm Rex Valiant.

I'm an agent for Roberto Perez.

He plays MLB

And he's in town

We're trying to get

Like a little

Roped off section

You know what I'm saying

Not a VIP

We don't have to go that far

He doesn't like

Sitting with like

Regular people

He's coming in

With his lady

Okay

Can you guys

Hook that up

I can do that for you

Okay

Are there any women

Maybe

Are there a lot of women

There

Or is this mostly

Like a sausage

Not right now

But

Beer and women

Possibly

You got beer though

Right

What did he get on draft

Get that part

This might be the gay grill, I think

I mean, it's okay if it is, man

I mean, we don't want to be confused

Yeah, Asian

Yeah, dyke bar, yeah

Well, that's cool

You have them and the girls come into it

But they're mostly women on women, men on men

We're palling with that here, but, you know, I don't think it's something for him.

Quiero que me busquen una mujer ahí que me pueden pegar el bicho como Benny Hill.

You got that part?

Yeah.

There's no girl, you know what I'm saying?

Right now, there's no hot women in here.

Fuck you, que no women.

Fuck you.

I want chocha.

How about any guy that said, like, long blonde hair?

Nothing like that?

No.

You know those...

What about, like, curly hair?

Like, you know, a little feminine.

No, but it's not here.

I want the juicy, white pussy.

You gotta go, because I got customers waiting.

Hey, you gotta go.

Fuck that.

Calcone, yo.

That is shit.

You're going to explode his ass vein?

Yo, you were supposed to translate.

That was supposed to be the point.

He was going to crack his ass.

You sounded like the dude we prank called for the first prank call we ever did on this show.

This guy sounds just like that voice you just did right now, man.

But he was legit.

He didn't even translate.

I told him I wanted his sister to fucking slap the back of my dick like Benny Hill.

Yeah, well, I didn't get that part.

that threw me for

well how does that work

Benny Hill didn't ever

hit anybody in the slightest

you ever see when

Benny Hill used to smack

that little ball headed

old man

yeah I remember

the ball headed old man

his pants used to fall down

and stuff

and he used to hit him

on the back

yeah he used to smack

that little fucking

he had like 20 slaps

in the back

yeah Benny Hill

great show man

great show

do you remember

when Benny Hill

did the A-Team

when he did his version

of the A-Team

do you remember that one

no

probably man

I haven't seen those

in a while

I know he used to have

the hottest bitches on that

oh at the end

they'd run around

like all half naked

making his stuff sometimes.

Oh, dude.

What?

That song.

You have that fast dance and shit.

You see them titties jiggling and bouncing

like they're on the Sibian.

I know.

Yeah.

All right.

Dino, man, thanks for calling in, man.

It was good talking to you.

All right.

I'll catch you on the rebound.

All right, man.

Remember, man,

go in the bathroom in the asshole,

cover some toilet.

Put some scope, some peanuts.

What's it going to take the smell away?

Eat the peanuts.

That'll take the pussy taste.

That's all.

Yeah, that's good.

That'll take the pussy taste off your mouth.

Smell like pussy and peanuts,

like I ate a bear.

All right, Khalil, man,

hearing, this is the great Carlito.

He is the great Desi Arnaz.

Make sure you get your pops and shit.

That's right, man. Desi Arnaz is my

illegitimate child of Desi Arnaz.

Alright, dude. I'll catch you later.

Bye, man.

Dino, everybody. Thanks for calling in, Dino. I play

applause, but I don't know where the hell the applause is. There it is.

It's funny. Thanks,

Dino, for uplifting our spirits here, but I

gotta go, because, you know, I would stay on

longer, but subpar show tonight,

number one. Number two, I gotta be on

a plane tomorrow. Man, I hate flying. I absolutely

hate i dread flying i'm gonna have to get every time i get drunk i end up getting drunk in the

airport bar so that i can deal with the flight i think richard christie does that stuff too

where's milkman oh shit milkman sorry about sorry that milkman you're making some kind of weird

noise it sounded like you were taking a condom wrapper condom out of its wrapper no man it was

my hard drive man my microphone was laying right by my pc the hard drive yeah saigon says don't

get too drunk they won't let you on the plane i'm the master at getting sloshed and no one can

notice like i've sat like i used to like i had i had a job at a call center had an hour lunch

break and sometimes i would go to the gas station i'll buy a six pack of natty ice

or uh or something else cheap like old milwaukee light and i sit in my car and i down that six pack

in about 30 minutes i'd be totally sloshed and i'd stumble up to my desk and i'd take calls for

the rest of the night and no one ever knew no one ever figured it i did it for like a whole

month straight once it's pretty bad i was an alcoholic i was like kdk at the end of it like

working i'd be like oh no i never got that bad i can hold my liquor like him he has like three

beers man never you ever noticed kitty kids like this is beer number three and he's already slurring

his speech and stuff and he gets like to the fifth one and he's like passing out like he's like so

drunk like come on i've had i've had i've had three beers so far this show tonight and i'm

nowhere near being drunk plus other stuff that i've done he always starts off a bit the saigon's

laughing but it's true he starts off with beer number three every time every time i listen to

that show beer number three it's all over here beer beer number three whatever well you drink

beer you're cool man am i bitter tuck what's your stance what are you doing uh sunday you got your

show going on let the people know man we're gonna be wrapping we're right we are wrapping it up

Sunday, well, probably, you know, the first year anniversary is coming up with the Revolutek podcast and the show and everything.

So maybe with it in a week, there might be more announcements about the anniversary plans for Revolutek at prankcall.nfo.com.

Has it been a year?

Good, man.

Good for you.

Oh, and yes, yes.

And be sure to check out tuckermonica.com.

It's updated, and we're trying to get people interested.

And you want a custom pin-up illustration, cartoon, comic thing from me,

give me an email, and we'll hook up on Price Ranges or a reason.

All right.

Cool.

Woo-hoo.

I've got some leftover Chinese food in the fridge.

I think I'm going to attack here when I get off.

Thanks, everybody, for listening tonight for sure, man.

You know, I want to say, oh, yeah, also, I finally, you know,

for those of you who were waiting i finally got around to editing two episodes in one and one

prank and they are available over at our website at madhouse live.com they're on the podcast now

also so if you haven't checked out your ipod or your itunes or your google or any whatever it is

used for podcasting or feed catching be sure to see be sure to take note that there are the

december 20th episode and the january uh third episode is currently uploaded the january third

The third episode in particular was actually really funny and very long.

It was like a three-hour show.

And I saw Saigon was mentioning earlier that we used to do, you know, shows until 2 in the morning.

I know, man.

That was back when I used to start work like around noon, you know, and stuff like that.

But I start work at 8.

I'm up at, you know, really early, 5.30 usually, 6 o'clock in the morning usually,

handling my business, starting off the day.

This is those afternoon 420 shows.

Yeah, those were good, too, when we used to do afternoon shows, yeah.

And, you know, I was thinking about, you know, going on until, like, 2 in the morning tonight, but I never got around to packing.

I had a lot of stuff I had to do today.

In the meantime, I had a lot of errands to run.

And so, yeah, sorry, guys.

Sorry it was a short show, but, hey, you do what you do.

Milkman, take us out of here real quickly, please, Milkman.

Please, quickly, Milkman, take us out of here.

It's been a great evening once again, man.

I'd like to thank you all for joining us here in the Madhouse, man.

A good bit of Ted, Ted, Ted the Rev, the man with the sound, with the plan, the game, man.

Thank you so much, Mr. Ted.

Sorry we couldn't make it in, but we sure do love you.

I miss you, my friend, my friend.

I'd like to thank all of our guest appearances tonight.

We've got quite a room.

Mr. James, Mr. Todd.

Let's see, who else else?

This is him here.

This is Mr. Baz.

Mavs, everybody, thank you for joining in tonight.

We sure have enjoyed having you around.

Crazy bastards here in the madhouse, that's right.

All our friends over there at Syndicate Radio, Mr. Dino, excellent call, man.

I think Carlito will have to partake in a tuna sandwich,

slather it on with some peanut butter.

That is nasty.

That's a good remedy right there, man.

I'll take care of your problem, brother.

Thank you for that.

No onions, though.

Hold the onions.

Hold the mayo.

oh okay that's nasty

that's right all our friends

thank you Mr. Lonesome Loser

the hardest working man

right here in the madhouse

house next to our generalissimo

of fun, Hermano

Carlito.

All right, good.

Thank you.

Stay tuned

for our next appearance.

That's right, next week,

promptly at 10 p.m., I promise.

A better effort.

I'm just nervous about flying, dude. Like I said, I don't like it.

It sucks. White knuckled the whole

time. I don't want to talk about it.

Oh, man.

It'll be over before you even

no man shake it off keep a little buzz on dude you'd be out there you'd be chilling out with

moms it'd be perfect and dad's in law you'll have a good time if i could if i could uh smoke you

know smoke a joint on the plane i'd be set man i'd be like woo let's go fuck it wow look at how

small the clouds are man i am so high man just bunch down on some brownies or some shit yeah

No I can't do that man

Can't do that

They'll smell it

Eat them when

How long does a high last

If I make brownies

How long does a high last

They come on slow and they last for hours

Well that's what I gotta do

I never thought

I'm diabetic

I can't have it

When you make your brownies

Okay, when you make your brownies, you powder it up as fine as you can.

You add it to the butter, the melted butter.

Then you add the melted butter to your brownies.

You don't let them get too dry.

They stay nice and moist, and that retains the THC content.

And a little while later, it's carnivorous.

Hey, man, this is great.

Is there anything else I can do it with?

Like, can I fry an egg or something?

No, man, the brownies is the way to go, man.

It's slow, yeah, yeah, yeah, man, but it comes on so good.

Well, I'm diabetic, so I really can't, you know.

That's the problem.

Get the sugar-free bounties, man.

The key is if you put it in the butter.

That's not fun.

They have those vaporizers now where it's no smoke, but it's just like air,

and you just get the THC content.

Really?

Yeah, but if you use it with your lungs, it's going to go quick.

That's the point.

The brownies is nice because it goes through the digestive tract,

and it's a lot slower and longer and holds on a lot better, you see.

So that's what the suggestion is for.

Yeah, I'll tell you what. I went out over the weekend and I bought myself a joint rolling machine, a little device that rolls joints for you.

And I got myself some king-sized papers and some short-sized papers, you know.

And let me tell you what. This is legal. I mean, I bought this legally.

I don't think this is wrong for me to show. We've got to be careful on stick cam. You can't show a lot of stuff.

you can't show you know drug related stuff but these are for rolling cigarettes here everybody

or you can't cuss anymore let's fuck that shit of course tobacco tobacco these are tobacco devices

anyway what you're seeing right now on cam i don't know if any of you have seen these before

i saw these for the first time a few months ago and i finally got down to buying some

these are clear uh uh rolling papers that i'm holding right here i don't know if they're coming

out but they're really wicked man they're made out of cellulose they're just like cellophane

They look and they feel just like cellophane, right?

And they're just like regular papers, but they're made with 100% natural, made from cellulose.

And the cool thing is, you know, you roll your tobacco, let's say, in it.

We got a call.

You roll your tobacco in it, and it shrinks, like, really closely.

Like, if you microwave it for five seconds, it shrink wraps, and it holds everything nice and tight.

and it's really cool

and you can see

what you're smoking

and it's just

far out

and trippy.

Wow.

And now,

now,

I was going to pick up

the phone

but they hung up anyway.

That would have been

the last call of the night.

It would have been nice.

Anything else?

We're just shooting

the shit now.

Fuck it.

Now I'm in a talking mood.

When we do sign out

here in a moment,

I just want to let you know

anybody who is listening

to us on Syndicate

can listen to

who's on next?

What's the chick's name?

Crazy

C-A

I don't know.

Crazy Ka or Crazy Sia

whoever that is

I'm assuming it's a woman

because it's in pink

is it Emmy Rose

it's that chick it's that white girl

the white girl is going to be on

the crazy Canadian

the crazy Canucks is going to be on next

be sure to listen to the crazy Canucks white girl hour

coming up next on syndicate radio

crazy Canucks party nation

be sure to listen to Zolar tomorrow night

I'm assuming, in theory, he will be on tomorrow night.

A big thanks to Sequoia and CleanBoxEntertainment.com.

I see he was trying to call in.

I'm sorry, dude.

I didn't pick up.

I had the ringer turned off on an accident.

So, yeah.

Bad Boys of Iowa, too bad you're leaving early.

Hear you soon.

Shout out later and have a safe trip.

Bad Boys out.

10-4.

All right.

So, yeah.

Thanks to everybody.

Thanks to Lonesome Loser, man.

It was fun.

You know, it's always fun.

What was your something?

Well, yeah, I guess I could show this to you.

This is the rolling machine.

Whoa, I can't show that.

But, yeah, this is the rolling machine right here.

It's really wicked.

You put your stuff in, you put your paper in, and you roll it, and it's rolled.

You microwave it for a few seconds.

I remember the Rizla rollers, man, back in the day, the Rizla rolling machine.

Let me see if there's a website for these papers here.

Let me see.

Yeah, papertrip.com, papertrip, papertrip.com.

that is i haven't seen the website just it's it's on the box on the package oh man here's another

thing i wanted to talk about son of a bitch i i you know i'm one of those people i don't want i

for the longest time i didn't want to get a bluetooth headset because i thought i don't

want to be like every other dork walking around with a bluetooth headset then i finally came

around i came across some money i said let me get a bluetooth headset if i like it i'll get another

other one and i'll link them up in stereo and i can listen to howard through my cell phone using

windows mobile you can listen to serious on windows mobile if for those of you who don't

know if you have a phone that has windows mobile and you have a serious internet radio account you

can you can listen just like if it were stiletto um you can listen to uh to to all of the serious

channels on your phone and i can do that and i do that so i thought it'd be cool to have you know

Because you can actually, with my phone, you can link it in stereo and you have one in each ear.

So I ordered a Bluetooth headset.

It got to me, and it was broken when it got here on eBay for $9.95.

I bought another one.

I paid for it a week ago yesterday.

I paid for it within literally two minutes after the auction was over.

I literally paid for it.

I still haven't received it.

I went to the mailbox today to see if it came in

I was like fuck this shit I'm pissed off

and the minute that happens I get an email

on my phone I get my email

it comes to my phone the madhouse radio mail

the gmail for those of you who don't understand

if you ever want to send me feedback or something

or a prank call request I get that

anywhere I am you know it's on my

phone that hits me up

so like if you ever want to get a hold of me

or something if you email me on the

madhouseradio gmail.com I'm going to get it

no matter where I'm at so anyway

Anyway, so I get the email from the guy.

He's like, yeah, I'm sorry.

They returned the package to me because I didn't pay enough shipping on it or something like that.

I'm like, you motherfucker.

Now I got to fly.

I was all habits like I'm going to get my headset before I fly out on Friday.

Now I don't have any headset.

Any of you have, Milkman, you don't have a Bluetooth headset.

You don't have a Bluetooth phone.

What about you, Tucker, Baz?

You guys have Bluetooth headsets.

Is it really worth it?

Yeah, I've got two Bluetooth headsets.

I have two Bluetooth headsets, man.

You have two?

Why don't you send me one, man?

Come on.

I've paid for two now that I haven't seen nothing for.

And here's what really pisses me off.

You went to EGAY.

That's the problem.

You went to EGAY.

Well, here's the other thing.

Here's the other thing.

My dad, who's like the most technically challenged person that I know, okay,

I get to his house over the weekend.

I usually visit my parents on Saturday or Sundays.

I go in the afternoon.

I drive up there, and I hang out with him for a few hours,

or we go out or something like that we go out to dinner go out to the mall or catch a movie or

something and then uh he's like hey uh carl carlito um hey can you connect this bluetooth headset can

you set it up on my phone i'm like are you fucking kidding me uh dude come on like i'm here i'm here

all pissed off because i haven't got i've been waiting two weeks for a bluetooth headset i paid

for two of them one which is broken and uh and and now here's the problem and uh and my dad's got

one i'm like what the hell not fair not right anyway so here's the thing here's the i'm showing

the the headset now on the camera right there this is the one so uh here's what i learned you

know i've learned from people like lonesome loser and nunu over the years just sending a lot of

numbers to very talented individuals i've learned how to trace people and uh this guy here uh he

made the mistake number one of putting his real name in his email to me where he told me that i

I had to go myself through Motorola warranty repair to get it fixed

because I know for a fact you can't do that if you bought it as a third party.

If you did a third-party purchase like this guy did,

if he's not the vendor, if he's reselling it on his own,

Motorola is going to tell you to piss up a rope

because you don't have a receipt for it.

So I told him that and I said, oh, well, you know, kind of thing.

So here's the thing.

I traced him by his name and the address that he sent the package from.

I traced him.

I got his cell phone number.

I got his address.

I was able to find how much he paid for his house

it was listed for like $400,000

in Boca Raton, Florida

it's like a rich Jew area

just north of Fort Lauderdale

and I saw pictures of him and his kids

on some Jewish website

some Jewish version of MySpace

just by using his last name

it's a really odd last name

and I was able to find all this information

so I called him and he freaked out

out he's like how did you get this phone number i was like i have ways i said i'm i'm i'm i said

i told him i was carlito from madhouse radio and and he freaked out and he yeah i called him you

know from the from the from the mouth line from the 888 you know 278-8509 and i guess he actually

um he hung up on me then he called it back and i answered i said madhouse radio and he's like so

you're really a radio station like yeah i said i got my people to trace you down man i said what

What are we going to do about this headset?

This is earlier tonight.

And he said, all right, here's what we're going to do.

Send it back.

I'm going to send you a new one.

We're going to take care of it.

Like, he freaked out.

So I had to – I was actually – I felt kind of good.

But, yeah, that was wicked.

I found out so much information on that guy just by using his first and last name and the address that he mailed this package from.

Really, like I know how much he paid for his freaking house.

That's kind of scary, man.

You got to watch out.

And it's amazing.

People like Lonesome Loser and stuff, all these people who get numbers all the time for us, they – oh, my God.

God, Lonesome Loser himself, man.

He's like a machine.

And, yeah, thanks to Lonesome Loser tonight, man.

It's a short show.

Thanks for showing up, man.

I know it's an effort for you to have to get out here so late on a Thursday night.

That was supposed to be applause.

I hit the wrong fucking button.

That was funny.

I meant to hit applause.

I just said I did this.

That's funny.

Whoops is what I meant to do.

Oh, man.

Yes, Gangrene, it was.

Well, it is still Thursday.

It's still early.

It's Friday for me.

Anyway, I was leaving.

Right, folks?

Good?

Let's go?

We done?

Anything else you guys want to bring up?

I've griped about just about everything.

We are back.

Keep going.

No.

I'm done.

No prank calls.

I need fucking sleep right now.

I can bring it a step away until next week.

You can't quit.

I'm a quitter.

It means from losers.

Winners or losers.

That's what I say.

Okay, so everybody, if you're listening on Syndicate, be sure to stay.

As soon as the music is done playing

Here in about two minutes

Be sure to sign out of the room

And wait a few minutes and sign back in

So you can listen to the White Girl Show

PCU.com

Yeah, that's fine, go to PCU

PCUradio.com

You got it wrong, not PCU.com

KDKprankcalls.com

Yeah, you can go to KDKprankcalls.com

I don't care if people go to KDKprankcalls.com

Because I know they're there

Yeah, we need to bring PCU back

it's funny that'll never happen

I will never work with that

I will never work with that asshole

KDK ever again

that guy is a fucking loony bin dumbass

is what he is I'll never work with him again

I refuse I'll work with Ted

he's reading someone's long drunken

messages on the air the other night

you miss KDK so much

I absolutely don't miss KDK

for the way he treated me and took advantage

of this show and we we dropped his ass we dropped him on his ass and look where he is now he's got

nothing left i was carrying that damn shithole that he was trying to run over there bullshit

the second i left that motherfucking asshole fucking fucking had to start one to kill himself

because i ruined him asshole because he's a fucking prick kdk unfunny motherfucker i'll get

Get Reckless to call his ass again

Reckless to call his ass again

There's a green light on KDK

Everybody take him down

No don't do that

That outfit's fine without him

Yeah we are just fine

We're doing better without him

Doing much better without KDK

He's bringing us down dead weight

We put Dr. Lego in his place

We put KDK in his place

Dr. Lego came around

Dr. Lego's like Libya in America

libya say hey my bad all right we fucked up cool we're cool yeah all right libya usa we're down

katie k is different katie k is some hat in hand yeah katie k is more like uh you know japan we're

gonna nuke his ass before we get him to agree we'd have to fight from house to house anyway so

we're done mother fuck where's the end music milkman get the end music in here man i can't

find it i can't end the show without the music i'm getting it up right now all right bro thanks

Hey, Milkman, make sure you call me up, too, man, you know, after the show.

You know what I'm saying?

All right, man.

We're out of here, everybody.

Thank you for bearing with us.

Yet another subpar show.

We'll be back next week.

98.6 The Mouth.

Gang Chicks every week right here, Thursday, 10 p.m.

On 98.6 The Mouth.

Madhouse Radio.

What's that supposed to mean?

This is bed five minutes.

What's that supposed to mean?

What is that, five minutes every time?

What do you guys do?

Every time you always say that.

Oh, five minutes, sweet kisses.

That's like a code.

I know that.

If you was on the camera, you wouldn't be wondering anymore.

Oh, God.

I don't want to see that.

That's nasty.

Oh, my God.

Look at my taint.

Oh, no.

Look at my taint, sweet kisses.

Hey, Ted, what's going on?

Speaking of taint

I don't know

Milkman has phone sex

With his girlfriend

And shows his taint on the cam

We're leaving Milk Ted

Guys stay in the team speak

We're going to discuss some business

And be back next week

Stay tuned to the station you're listening to now

Please

Madhouse Radio is live Thursday nights at 10 p.m. Eastern.

Why don't you shut the hell up?

Fuck you! Fuck you fucking piece of shit!

Be sure to visit us online at madhouselive.com.

Calls (11, 20 min of 1 h 32 min)

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