2008-02-14 Show

Fuck you, dude.

Listening House Radio Podcast.

Fuck up.

Good evening, everybody.

Madhouse Radio is back.

I'm on a desire to wake up.

Fuck that was.

Hey, everybody.

Thanks for listening.

Carlito's here.

I don't know why the hell I just yelled like that.

Here with me tonight, Milkman's on his way in.

In the meantime, we have the other members, the others.

I've got Tuck here, Brandon, Vegas, and Baz all in here.

Gentlemen, say hi real quick, please.

All right, good.

We're ready to do a show, ready to do some prank calls.

Got my trusty captain's hat on.

I haven't had it on for a few weeks, man.

I lost it, but I found it today under a stack of bills.

Right.

It's going to be a good night tonight.

We've got a lot in store for you all.

Lonesome Losers confirming away.

We've got a phone card ready.

We're going to have a good time.

If you want to reach us here tonight, you can call in.

The toll-free line is 888-278-8509.

Again, the toll-free line here tonight is 1-888-278-8509.

And if Milkman were here, he'd say something like,

if you've got the time, it's on the dial.

You can also reach me on AOL Instant Messenger and Yahoo Instant Messenger, Madhouse Radio.

Again, if you're using AOL or Yahoo Instant Messenger, message me at Madhouse Radio.

If you're using MSN Messenger, you can message me at madhouselive at hotmail.com.

And that's about it.

That's all I got for you.

Be sure to visit Madhouse Radio.

Rather, be sure to visit the Madhouse site, madhouselive.com.

You can send your prank call request there direct to me.

and we'll be sure to do our best

to get to those as

expeditiously as possible

tonight throughout the night and also

you can always call in and give us your request

or actually do a prank call with us if you want

we don't mind we open up the lines

for everybody here to have a good time

and I don't know this is what we fucking do

okay so whatever

I don't like doing prank calls all night you know I like to take

a break I'm a lazy bastard it's almost

Friday yeah I just flew

back from Pennsylvania boy are

are my arms tired boy are my arms tired folks no seriously i hate flying but it wasn't a bad

flight i had a pretty good time out there in pennsylvania kind of like a good time in the

flying machine yeah man that flying machine is something right there i rented a horseless

carriage and everything up there at the flying machine port i had a great time i saw snow for

the first time this weekend man i'll tell you what i'm glad i don't live with that every day

in the winter well i don't have to deal with that all the freaking time because that would

suck it's fun to see come down it's fun to watch it but when you have to start driving in that

that shit fuck that all right so yeah i'm gonna sit here nice sunny florida where it is nice and

non-snowy i hate the sun but i tell you what i hate this uh driving in the snow and ice even

more yep um just to round things off here let me just throw out the numbers that we have so far

we've got some requests here that have been sent in during the week i always compile those here

they we get a lot of visitors to the van house website during the week and people stop in and

leave their requests here i'll get to those in a second uh lonesome losers checking in of course

Turn that ringer down for a moment here

We're not taking calls just yet, sorry

Jump in the gun there, buddies

Jump in the gun there, buddy

Right now we've got Smoothie King

We've got Sassy Lassie Lingerie Shop

We've got the Stumbling Monk Tavern

We've got Red Men Club

Red Man Club, rather

Cyber Dorks, alright

Cyber Dorks

Joe's Crazy Grill

And we also have Hell's Canyon Resort and Marina

Yes

And the cough syrup's out there

yes yes uh cough syrup you can definitely call in and join with us tonight just not right now we

leave the uh first part of the show open for general discussion between us here and uh yada

yada yada and then after that we know we get the we get the go ahead you know call in and if you

want and we'll let you know when man so yeah for sure uh cough syrup we can do that cough syrup

already sent in a request here he says call an escort service who am i popeye call an escort

service call an escort service ask if she charges by the minute if she charges extra for

virgin if she will strip for a land party if she will travel to mexico if she's into donkey play

donkey play all right interspecies erotica if you can snort a line of cocaine off her ass and

finally if she will shit on my chest man that's a lot of stuff that's a good time man that sounds

like a bachelor party right there i'll tell you what you got the right idea cough shirt man i

like your i like your juice so we'll hang on to that idea maybe you can call in and join us for

for that uh baz i see baz what what are you saying now we got some uh saipan numbers here as well

that you're going to be sending in we'd like to get into those it's always fun yeah i'll try and

work on a few all right cool cool yeah because saipan is a funny place to prank call they speak

english there they're in an island in the middle of the pacific and it is still it's like what is

it like an afternoon over there or something like that so yeah that's always fun to do yeah uh great

right all right we got a lot of listeners here tuning in live uh off the bat so thank you

everybody who's listening live we appreciate it thank you to everybody over at syndicate radio

syndicate radio.tv home to the best in syndicate radio syndication radio and tv transvestites

all there for free no credit card necessary syndicate radio.tv i'm kidding syndicate radio

is great good people dino and everyone else over there uh spike mike and the like uh thank you

very much i understand rev is holding it down as well rev it's all good man thank you for being

and around and of course be sure to

listen tomorrow to Zolar, Zolar Vision

and the Zolar Party Nation will be on tomorrow

in 24 hours

10pm Eastern Standard Time tomorrow

and every Friday

on SyndicateRadio.tv

exclusively on SyndicateRadio.tv

and of course Zolarkast.com

it is now

10.13pm Eastern Standard Time

it is Thursday February the 14th

of 2008

I just want to let you all know that we have

I have two episodes that will be posted to the podcast tomorrow night.

I edited them on my plane flight.

I'll tell you what, the time went really fast.

Because like I was saying before, it was my first time ever traveling on a plane with a laptop.

I just sat there and edited manhouse stuff, you know, during a flight.

It felt like it was 30 minutes.

I had a great time.

The best experience I had flying, yeah.

I'm telling you.

I don't know how I did it without a laptop.

Your computer machine on the plane machine.

man my computer machine my laptop machine on the plane machine i'll tell you what you know you know

what's missing and i don't know why it's unavailable yet i know there's been efforts in the

past but we really we really need to get internet man wireless on planes um i don't know if it's

doable but i think that would be great you know if i was able to at least check my email and browse

the web on a plane i wouldn't complain because oh man if i had to fly to australia that's like 24

hours of flight because you have to fly all the way to california that's like a four or five hour

flight there and then you had to fly like another 18 hours from there to get to australia i hope to

never have to do that 14 from la to sydney you did that a couple years ago wow really so if you're

coming from the east coast maybe that's a five plus maybe like 1920 21 hours maybe you're looking

at there 1920 21 hours yeah that's like a whole day in a plane man well after after at least six

hours yeah after your layover you know you get your layover also you know in la probably and

port early anyway in an hour or two early you got to get there two hours early for an international

flight you got customs that's a whole day you lose just traveling in in a closed cylinder i go mad

when you get to sydney it's 6 a.m in sydney and so the day has just begun the same day has just

begun or the next day has just begun no the next day has begun wow so you can't really go to sleep

because it's 6 a.m.

Oh, dude, that's trippy.

So you lose a day there, too.

Test, test.

Exactly.

Oh, here I am.

Testies, testies.

Tuck, yeah, you're on.

I took your echo out for you.

There you go.

But, yeah, man.

I was talking and no one could hear me

and I wondered why.

I don't know that.

I figured out I didn't have my fucking microphone.

Duh.

Chief of Christ.

Hello.

Yeah, whatever.

All right.

We got more numbers coming in here, everybody.

Hang tight.

Hell's Canyon Resort and Marina.

And we also got the Happy Bear Vacation Rentals on Big Bear Lake.

Wow.

Is that the Big Bear of California?

There's like one Big Bear, you know, that's really famous.

Kokanee has sent in news stories.

Big one.

Kokanee has sent in news stories for the week.

He did announce that the first, well, the last living Marine who was involved with the flag raising,

the American flag raising on Iwo Jima, you know, the famous picture,

Make sure the famous movie that came out by, what was the name of that movie?

Right.

What was that movie by Clint Eastwood?

What was it called?

We Had the Flag or We Put the Flag in the Air?

That Clint Eastwood Army movie.

Flags of Our Fathers.

Is that the one?

All right, good.

Gold Star.

Who said that?

Who caught that?

Baz?

Was that you, Baz?

That sounds good.

That was Brandon Vegas.

Brandon Vegas with a gold star already.

All right, good deal.

Good deal.

Hey, Brandon Vegas, I wanted to mention Drew Garoppolo has a podcast now.

uh it's up on uh i think it's a drew garabo show.com or something like that drew garabo.com

if you google him you'll find he's doing a podcast he cool check it out yeah he's on my

fucking level now that bastard yeah take that drew garabo we took you down we took you down man

we won no one knows what i'm talking about except for me and brandon anyway uh so yeah that's uh

that dude died um a lot of people think that's fake uh i happen to think it happened but uh but

But from what I understand, it happened several times.

Like the first time wasn't a good shot or something.

So they ended up having to go back and shoot it again or something.

Whatever.

Long, long story.

So rest in peace, old man.

You deserve this for raising the flag.

Breaking news here.

I'm understanding that Zolar is possibly not on tomorrow.

More to come as soon as details are available.

Please stay tuned to Madhouse Radio News.

Thank you.

How is that possible?

I don't know how it's...

I don't know what I'm going to do.

I couldn't hear him last night because I was in Pennsylvania with no internet.

I had internet.

Like my phone.

I got a smartphone with T-Mobile.

And I get internet service with it, but it's not enough to run stick, is it stick cam or stick em?

Because for the last year I've been saying stick cam, and now I think it's stick em the whole time,

and I probably sound like a horse's ass every week here saying stick cam.

It is stick em, isn't it? I've been saying it wrong.

I thought it was stick cam, I don't know.

Yeah, but you learned it from me. You had bad influence.

I don't know, people out there, let me know, is it stick em or stick cam? Let me know.

It's rather embarrassing, I've been on whatever it is for a while.

CKM makes more sense

Stick em

Yeah

Well it's CKM

It's like stick em

I guess so

Whatever

Oh

It's the cam

My brain

My brain hurts stuff

Yeah my brain always hurts dude

Welcome to my world

So yeah

What I was trying to say

Is you know

I have

I can get internet

On my phone

Alright

And what I can do

I've got a service

Where I connect that

To my laptop

And I can browse the web

On my laptop

Wherever I am

I don't have to have wifi

But it's not

It's not fast enough

enough to handle stick them it can handle a shoutcast stream but uh i i don't i couldn't

find the the cynicus shot i don't know if they're i don't know if we're on shoutcast i've never done

it because it'd be way too much bandwidth for me to run um what i'm on i'm on prank call dot uh

dot info dot radio dot net sometimes they have the shout cam uh the shoutcast stream up and

sometimes they don't i know rev runs it therapy is having it up yeah well it's some it's hit or

or miss i know rev runs it all the time i think that's all i know and i know zolar is on there

but i can't i couldn't find it anyway so i couldn't listen to it so i didn't know he was

gone but that sucks hopefully he's back hopefully he comes back soon um you guys want to do some

prank calls or should we talk about some more stuff well let's pray all right let's pray let's

see prank calls or collide a candle and bring the shoutcast stream back one or the other all right

okay okay cool uh yeah yeah we're gonna get the pranks here uh we got um we got a request here

let's see let me get to this request here i think it was well one of them was a bad idea

this is an example of a bad prank call request everybody let me tell you what it is and it's

it's no offense to bone thug issues a cool dude well he's he suggested we call a walmart uh and

calls a terrorist looking to purchase weapons of mass destruction uh yeah that's not that's no you

don't do anything terrorist of all yeah we kind of don't want that kind of heat man but it's a

a good idea i know i was young once and i think but we did get a number here for someone named

laura uh it was sent in by tricks a baby 87 she sent it in on uh what was five days ago uh sunday

i think it was sunday anyway uh she has a baby all we have to go with like a 48 year old pervert

yeah well all she laughs well all she says here is that she has a smelly pussy that's all we know

know about it uh roger said a guy's name is roger sent in a number for laura in uh pennsylvania

believe it or not and who has a smelly pussy all right let's see let's see who's calling in here

i don't think it'd be jonathan but jonathan doesn't call in for us anymore he doesn't care

about us anymore hey what's this hey what's up tasty new how much man are you you're like one

of the old oh i've seen you around for like a while now right like year not a year maybe like

like a year now right a year ago really so what what happened you just got out of the um pcu thing

or just got arrested grand larceny five or what's larceny that's just that's three thousand dollars

three thousand dollars all i know about larceny is like sometimes when i buy a newspaper it'll

say you know don't commit larceny i guess so that means if you steal more than you're supposed to

get is that what you did or how did it happen can you know you're in liberty to tell us

Three TVs, a Corvette, $10,000.

You still, I'm sorry, a Corvette, $10,000, and what else now?

Three TVs.

New TVs or used TVs?

New ones.

What were they like?

What were we talking here?

They were pretty big.

I was working at Walmart, and I just threw them off the loading dock when I was closing up.

Were they 1080i?

Or what did they get?

You don't know if they get 1080i.

You got to make sure you steal the right ones, man.

You got to get something good.

Most expensive ones I could find.

At Walmart, the most expensive TV at Walmart?

mark yeah did you get like three grand three grand each wow yeah wow man that's insane well

not three they're a grand each well that's something so you get caught did you work there

or you just was driving by i worked there okay how did you end up with a what did you steal a

camaro vet for vet too the same at the same that's crazy man you got balls man here's to you man i'm

gonna i'm gonna take a sip of my beer just for you park out in front of where he works awesome

man so you want to do a prank call but the uh the toll-free line you sent me a number for bung

Bunghole, I'm sorry.

Bunghole Liquors, okay.

A Chinese man picked up and yelled, bunghole.

Hang on the line, dude.

I'm going to get that on the line here.

Everybody, tasty new.

Are you on parole, probation, or are you just out?

I'm just out.

I didn't go on parole.

Hey, you know, next time you get arrested, write down our toll-free line and call us from the pay phone in jail.

All right, will do.

All right, cool.

And anybody else that's listening now, commit the toll-free number to memory, 888-278-8509.

And make more crimes by making free alcohol.

Yeah, exactly.

Good point, Tug.

But, yeah, if you get arrested, you know, it's a Thursday night at 10.

If you're in jail or prison, give us a call and let us know what's going on, man.

Well, it's a free call.

It's a toll-free line.

So, hey, man, take advantage of it.

Cool.

Yeah, all right.

Everybody, hold on a moment here.

We're going to have a prank call with Tasty News.

It's actually ringing fast busy, which means it's not busy.

It's just check the number.

Make sure you didn't put an extra zero or something in there.

All right, one second.

Let me try something.

All right, you confirm that, stand in line, and I'm going to do another prank call while you do that, all right?

Just stay quiet, though, until I come back.

We're going to call cyber dorks, all right?

You can jump in if you want.

Just don't go too crazy.

You got it, man?

All right, cool.

Yeah, I love two-life crew.

By putting it in the sink.

That's something, though.

That's some hotel sex right there.

You get your woman on the sink in the hotel.

Hang her right there.

Don't do that at home, because you'll fuck up the sink.

I was wondering if you guys had any monster cable mice.

I'm really into monster cables.

I like the brand.

I buy Monster Cable whenever I can, and I've got Monster Cable tattooed across my chest.

Give me a call back.

Let's talk about it.

Work for you?

They picked up calling from my phone.

Hey, try that.

I'll stay here.

Look at that.

My cell phone's turned off.

I turned it off on purpose, man.

I didn't.

I got blue, bitch.

Tasty, I'm going to let you go, but thanks for calling in, man.

I'm glad you're out.

Careful with that larceny, man.

Stay out of trouble.

Remember the number, man.

If you need help, we'll do what we can.

Don't be tempted.

The saga continues.

If you want to call in, that now is your turn.

You can.

can toll free line is open if you want to call in the toll free line again is 888-278-8509 again

that's 888-278-8509 yeah and monster cables are a joke monster cables are the biggest ripoff just

like saigon said it is not a lie tuck can you turn this off man do you mind please hang on hang

on thank you tuck thank you where's milkman at son of a bitch that milkman let's try calling

milkman i don't have a i don't have an international card oh shit i can't call milkman i'll have to

turn the phone back on so i can call him international yeah international internet

what where's he at now virgin island international but he kept his uh stupid virgin island cell phone

number i told him to get a new one in the states i could you know people could call him without

having to get charged long distance up the ass jesus man how's radio you're on the air

Hey, Jonathan, what's going on, man?

Oh, look at you, a social?

You know, Jonathan, you're late today, and Tuck makes a good point.

You're late, man, you weren't the first caller tonight, I'm kind of embarrassed.

Good deal, man, good deal.

Good deal, man, I got a Bluetooth headset for the first time, finally.

Tell you what, it's some fun shit.

You ever use one?

Yeah, I like the Bluetooth, so I gotta get me one.

Get you one.

I'm serious, brother, man.

Get you a Bluetooth headset, man.

It's safe.

You can use it and you can use it, walk around.

I can listen to Sirius Radio on my Bluetooth headset when it's connected to my phone.

Because then I can connect my phone to Sirius Internet Radio and I can listen to Howard.

It's awesome.

Thank you, man.

Dude, I'm the superior force in technology, man.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, that's true.

I take technology, I grab it by the belt loops, and I say, get here, you fucker.

and they're right in the ass.

Just like that.

But it's a girl.

It's not a guy.

If it was a guy, I wouldn't do it.

Yeah.

Last one, you got the regular tube kind.

What do you watch TV on?

Well, in the living room, we got a...

Okay, good deal.

How many inches are we talking?

15 inches.

It's our room, right?

It's probably a little bit.

Okay, that's good.

Cool.

Cool, man.

HD channels, anything special?

Or what do you watch?

What shows do you like to watch?

Just comedy.

You ever watch Judge Judy?

You like that?

Yeah.

Judge Judy's kind of fun sometimes.

That's one of my guilty pleasures, Judge Judy.

The other one is Cops.

And I still hold steadfast that Cops is a fake show.

And people don't want to believe me, but I'm telling you, I believe that the majority of the segments in Cops is actually scripted.

I really believe so.

If you look really hard, and you've got to think to yourself.

I mean, I wish there was an expose on how Cops works.

Because how come, Tuck and the rest of you, Jonathan, you too, if you get arrested and there's a camera crew there, first of all, has anybody ever seen a camera crew?

Has anybody ever reported, I was out in town and I saw someone getting pulled over and the cops, you know, video?

I've never heard of that before, number one.

Number two, who in their right mind would release themselves to be on TV?

You know, you have to sign a release form to be on network TV, right?

You know, you've got to sign a release form with Fox or whoever the producers are of the show.

I forgot the name.

They're a really famous show.

It's one of the most successful shows in the history of television.

It's been on since 1987.

But who in their right mind is going to say, yeah, go ahead, you can show my face?

They have to blur you out.

They don't even show blurred out anymore.

They used to show blurred out every once in a while.

Those, I think, are real.

That's the only people who don't supposedly sign a release that are blurred out.

Oh, yeah, exactly.

The ones that don't sign the release.

release, but why would you sign the release unless they're granting you some kind of lighter

sentence for doing it? Shoot, man, I'm on TV. Shoot, hell yeah. What about TV? My mom's

streaming. Think about it, Jonathan. Jonathan, who are you voting for? Are you even registered

to vote? Do you vote? You don't have an opinion on the subject? You're not political? All

right, Jonathan, we're with you. Now's your chance to say hi to all your fans and listeners.

Those of you who do every week here. All my fans and listeners, and I hope you all have

Have a wonderful weekend, and happy Valentine's Day from the Lost Boys Extreme Radio.

Jonathan's been off it.

It's off it tonight, man.

What was it, Jonathan?

What's the website again?

I'm sorry.

What did you say at the end?

It's still the same.

Boys.bravehost.com.

Okay.

Our new name is the Lost Boys Extreme Radio.

Lost Boys Extreme Radio.

Okay.

All right.

Everybody, look for that.

Ed, that's your podcatchers.

All right, Jonathan, take care, bro.

See you.

I think it's off.

Jonathan is kind of off.

I hope he's okay.

They're calling Milkman here on the mouth line.

On the back line.

Let me get it somewhere where it doesn't...

On the low line.

I'm trying to get it somewhere where we don't get the...

Hello?

Hey.

Milkman.

You're late.

You got off on the wrong exit, you fool.

Okay, man.

Hey, call the...

I will call the studio line for a little bit, man.

Let's put you on, all right?

We're having a good show.

All right, man.

Hang up.

Call the studio line post-haste.

Thank you.

All right.

Dude, I hear a helicopter out there.

You hear that helicopter?

Listen, listen, listen.

I do.

The ghetto bird's out tonight.

They're looking for you, man

Yeah, man, something's going down in Orlando tonight, baby

You're scanning all the illegal downloads you got

They're

tracking your numbers.

Someone got carjacked

by a Haitian tonight. That's all you want.

Speaking of cops, huh? Maybe the cops

crew is out there. And how come the cops crew

Screw whoever comes here to Orlando, those fuckers, because they're fake.

Because if they came here, I'd expose them for the frauds they are.

Man, who's radio? You're on the air?

You said you were going to make it.

You said, oh, yeah, I'm going to take a nap before I get on the show tonight.

And I was like, well, good show.

We've been doing some pranks.

It's been okay so far.

Not doing too bad.

So, but you're not missing much.

It's all good.

How's your week been, dude?

Catch up with us here real quick.

Good for fun.

What you listening to in there?

It's kind of distracting, huh?

Smoke weed every day.

I sent you some Obama links today.

I bet you didn't get those either, did you?

You know what you need to do for me, Milkman?

I want you to go home.

You open Gmail.

You go to Gmail.

On the left, you click on Chats.

You look at all the conversations and stuff that I send you that you say you never get.

Yes, you click on Chats.

On my Gmail box.

Yes.

I see you online.

I send you stuff all the time about the show.

And then you'll come back two days later, oh, I didn't get that link.

I never got that.

Milkman, I sent you the DeAnda prank that we did off air after the show last week that was insane.

DeAnda?

I sent that to you.

It's a 22-minute call.

We'll have to play it in the second hour of the show.

Milkman did a prank call finally on the show.

Well, I guess it wasn't on the show.

It was off air.

And you did pretty good.

And then I came in and I freaked the lady.

It was to the UK.

It was very funny.

And I'll either play that at the end of the show or the last half of the show.

So be sure to tune in for that.

Milkman, I'm going to keep doing prank calls here, okay?

Oh, yes.

It is Valentine's Day.

Good deal.

You need chocolate today, man?

I remember that day when I worked at a grocery store, tomorrow was the second best day to get cheap candy and chocolate.

Because they would take all that Valentine's Day candy, get like 75-80% off sometimes.

I would clean out on some chocolate.

When I worked at a grocery store, and of course the big day was the day after Halloween, you could get a lot of candy for really, really cheap.

Tootsie Rolls.

Like Tootsie Rolls, they're too chewy for me.

I don't know.

That's how you mess up your teeth, Milkman.

You went to the dentist today, didn't you?

Oh, yeah.

Those are good ones, too.

Those are natural.

They go right from the ground, man.

Tootsie Roll has a chocolatey chew.

Tootsie Roll, I think I'm in love with you.

Whatever it is, I think I see, becomes a Tootsie Roll to Carlito.

Okay, we're calling the Buddy Computer Convenience Store.

This is in Malaysia, all right?

We're going to do that right now.

And here's a song in honor of Valentine's Day.

Be right back in a moment.

She said hello already?

Crab Tootsie Rolls.

They have a lot of wax in them, from what I understand.

But it's actually wax.

It's kind of nasty if you think about it.

You're eating wax.

Hello, is this the convenience store?

Well, this is the computer place, right?

Speak with Buddy, please.

Please don't hang up.

She doesn't want to talk to me.

Yeah, but I made a mistake.

But it sounds like you kind of sound suspicious.

Like something's going on with it, though.

Come on, give me the skinny.

Is it not in business anymore or what?

Just say long number.

Just tell me.

What happened?

She's up to something else.

Something else is going on there, man.

She said long number.

Okay, don't tell me long number.

There's illegal gambling in the back.

They're making sneakers in the back.

They're making shacks.

Shack shoes.

Shacks are shoes being made in the background there.

Speaking of which, the NBA All-Star Game will be on this weekend.

This weekend, the East meets the West.

Don't miss the NBA All-Star Game on TNT.

I think it's on TNT.

TNT or ESPN, one of the two, is the official sponsor.

The first hour of Madhouse Radio, official home of the NBA All-Star Weekend.

Home of the Slam Dunk Contest this Saturday.

Don't miss it.

NBA All-Star Weekend live from New Orleans, Louisiana.

I'll tell you why.

That's going to be the biggest disaster.

You big man getting all big on sponsors and stuff.

The biggest mess is going to happen this weekend in New Orleans, I bet you, for a reason.

You know what?

Last year in Vegas, they arrested a whole frickload of people, Brandon.

Isn't that true?

Brandon and Red will tell you.

They arrested a whole bunch of people last year in Vegas during the All-Star Weekend.

I bet you it's going to be probably ten times worse because it's New Orleans.

No offense against you, Louisianers.

I know there's not many that listen to us, but, God, you people are freaking crazy, man.

They fucking seceded there for a few hours doing that Katrina thing, man.

Not one night.

I think you got a Nazi police force there.

Joe's Crazy Grill.

This one's in Cathedral City, California.

Mexican guy named Carlos.

Favorite name.

Answer it at 10 p.m.

45, 49 minutes ago

Alright, let me get a song here to play real quick

Milkman, any requests? You can't hear it, but I can play it

How about some ACDC?

You know what I heard?

I heard on Howard they were playing for those about to rock

I hate to steal Howard's Kool-Aid

But I want to play it, I want to hear that again

Here we go, we'll be right back with the next Prank Call of the Night

Just a moment here, we're calling once again

Joe's Crazy Grill

In California

I'm going to speak to a Mexican guy

Poo-ah, simplify

purify, do or die.

Not a few questions about your chicken.

You got a grill, right? I'm sure you guys

got chicken. What kind of

sizes you got?

We have a tempura chicken teriyaki with a

California roll and we have a chicken teriyaki

plain.

You got that fruity stuff? Teriyaki

roll stuff? Spring roll stuff? That

healthy stuff?

You got something fattening?

It's all you can eat.

So what's your big thing there?

You got crab legs?

No, it's not a real crab.

It's imitation crab.

Imitation crab meat?

Yeah.

Okay.

What about potstickers?

Potstickers, no, we don't have it now.

No, not now?

Or just, why?

You never do?

Not because we have a lot of people now, and it's like a holiday, and we're not working

with those $2.99 things on the menu.

So you're not doing the buffet?

What's going on?

Well, we're doing the buffet now.

Oh, well, tell me about the buffet.

I'm asking.

Potstickers is not on the buffet.

Well, what's on the buffet?

I have a lot of people.

Just come over here, please.

Hey, hang on.

Take it easy.

I take it easy, but I have three people waiting for charge.

They want to pay the bill.

Let me just know what's on the freaking buffet, and I'll come in.

I have like 25 different things.

Give me the what's good.

There's one.

There's always one thing.

I have two choices.

I have sushi, I have cat rolls, and I have hand rolls.

You said sushi.

I'm replaying it, don't say anything

Hang on, take it easy, take it easy

Let me just know what's on the freaking buffet and I'll come in

Give me the, what's good

What's the, there's one, there's always one thing

You said sushi

I was trying to listen to see what he said

It said funny

Silly guy that guy

Okay anyway, continuing on here

What's that at?

That's California.

Where's Cathedral City?

What's that about?

It's another city, man.

Like one gigantic humongous...

I think you said here before, California, it's a crazy place.

It's a crazy kind of place.

You literally said that one, too.

I'm like, okay, whatever you say.

All right, we're going to call Subway in Malaysia.

All right?

All right, hang on.

Subway.

I want to walk in Subway.

We'll do that next.

Come on, sisters.

This is the Subway.

Hey, this is the Subway, right?

I have to speak Subway.

I get sick and tired of it.

How's the tuna?

if you had it. I said, how is it? It's a surprise? Yeah. I mean, it's surprising if you go down

and you get a whiff and it's sour, you know? Nice thing for the season. Okay. I'll tell

you what, it's about six and a half, seven, but I hear that's average, right? About six

and a half, seven inches. You have cars in Malaysia, right? You know this, the horseless

carriage thing? Car machine? Have you ever been in one? Okay. Yeah, well, it's really

cool. It gets you from A to B. I rented it, actually. I know a lot of you people who don't

I don't have car machines.

That's okay.

I'm coming in my car, and I want one of those tuna sandwiches.

But I'm asking you, you know, how's the tuna?

Because you ever get down there, and you get a whiff, and it's just got that sourness.

You know, it tastes like, you know, rancid red wine vinegar.

And that's not no Subway Uri Hitch.

You try that one.

No, give up on me.

Just try that one again.

Say it again a little.

Sound it out for me.

All right, honey?

Okay.

Yeah.

You want to take my order, sweetie?

Ming.

Just one Ming.

All right, we're Ming-ing here.

We're Ming-ing.

To answer a few questions in the chat room, you can reach me on AOL and Yahoo Instant Messenger on Madhouse Radio.

Madhouse Radio.

Yahoo and AOL Instant Messenger.

Are you there, Ming?

Ming?

Can you turn your pen on?

See if your vagina smells or not, all right?

Let's just get down to it.

I'm not going to call back for this.

Tell me now.

Vagina machine?

Vagina machine.

You have one of those in you, right?

Okay, you have a pee machine?

Oh, that's cool.

Nothing down there.

What can I say?

That's a good call.

Hey, thanks.

Thanks, man.

That was pretty fun.

Milkman, what's your status?

Where are you at right now, dude?

A couple minutes.

I'm starting down the countdown.

Stripping?

Right now.

Apparently he's stripping.

We have a request here.

We're going to do another prank call.

Let's see what's next here.

Is anybody on the line here with me?

No, just you.

Well, listening is Baz and Tuck, and Brandon Vegas seems to have stepped out.

I thought I had somebody on the line.

No.

No, no, no.

No one else is on the line.

Just you and me, man, and Jesus.

My passion.

Oh, you passed someone on the line.

Yeah.

Oh, who's that?

Sweet Kisses.

He's asking if we can hear him.

Okay, no, we'll try it back later.

I'm calling Happy Bear Vacation Rentals, okay, dude?

Do you know where that is?

Big Bear Lake?

Big Bear Turds there, man.

Crazy.

Altered Bird Turd.

This one is a request off the Madhouse line from Jennifer.

It goes out to Joe.

Next prank call of the night.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Next prank call of the night coming up in just a moment.

This is Madhouse Radio.

Thank you.

On the line, what's up, girl?

Happy Valentine's Day, Deanna.

Hope it's a great one for you, too.

The end end of Starda, your sister.

All right.

Hang tight.

Hey, Milkman, we got a prank call request from Nunu.

You know how those always go, right?

Those always great.

Sir Nunu.

Sir Wanker.

Yeah, we do.

Yeah, that number didn't go through for some reason.

Let me clear the line here.

All right, there we go.

It just kind of sat in limbo.

We'll try it later.

Vacation rentals.

Here's Nunu's, all right?

It's in Florida, here in Florida.

Oh, dude, we do not.

We have, did you hear about the paraplegic guy who was in the wheelchair

that the policewoman didn't believe that he was paraplegic

and dumped him out of the wheelchair because she thought he was faking it?

That's not funny.

That was me.

That was a guy.

Well, no, we got the cop.

We got the cop.

Yeah, it's on YouTube.

Oh, yeah, I know.

Yeah, I saw it on YouTube.

Well, we got the woman cop who did it.

The eject button on it.

Yeah, man.

That's different than the one I saw.

Really?

I don't know.

Well, it says here, Nunes is the fat.

Well, I saw a big black guy in a wheelchair, and the guy's legs just totally didn't work,

and he was flipping on the ground, and they were, like, checking him to see if he had weapons.

Yeah, but a cop, though. It was a woman cop, I guess. I don't know.

Yeah, it was a cop.

Yeah, anyway, it's a fat policewoman who tipped a paralyzed guy out of his wheelchair into the floor

named Charlotte Marshall-Jones.

Apparently, she's had a lot of calls already.

She looks like a dude.

Apparently, she's had a lot of calls already, so don't be too obvious.

Should I really be calling a cop? I mean, let's, I don't know, let's make the call here.

You know, that's kind of risky, don't you think?

That's a cop.

Do that.

If you want to take a risk, if you want to be the man, go for it.

Am I mad?

You know, at the beginning of the show, we played that song, If You're Mad Enough.

I mean, I guess this is it.

Let's do it.

Balls of the Wall here on Madhouse Radio.

We'll play that again.

We're going to call a cop, man.

This is crazy.

This is like when you were a kid.

This is like when you were a kid and you prank called 911.

This is it right here.

Hang on, folks.

Before the call can continue, say your name or the company you represent.

Then press the pound key.

It's raw.

What's in that music?

Boney James.

That is, you get to go star.

All right, that ain't going to work for shit, dude.

We've been pranked way too much.

We ain't going to play.

We're screening our numbers the cheap way tonight.

Whatever.

Okay.

Moving right along.

Sorry, Nunu.

That wasn't meant to happen, dude.

I tried.

Baz.

Baz, you've sent in some numbers for Saipan, I see here.

We've got El Draco Tattoo.

Yes, sir.

All right, cool, cool.

Hey, who's the top radio host, like a liberal host that just got busted for child porn in San Francisco?

I didn't hear about that.

He was Dianne Feinstein's aide or something.

No, I had no idea.

Didn't hear about that, no.

Yeah, Mike Savage is raving on him.

Oh, Mike Savage.

Mike Savage is cool, man.

I kind of like his stuff sometimes.

Yeah, I like it.

he's not all that bad he's a he's a he's not he's not conservative he's the one that's kind of like

really out there like he's kind of liberal yet kind of like not like conservative libertarian

libertarian yeah conservative libertarian yeah he has a decent show i've listened to before it's

kind of it's kind of interesting to listen to anyway so i think i'm talking about the right

guy maybe i'm wrong maybe he's one of those assholes the right guy okay okay i confused

him with another one there's another one who's got like a similar voice but it's a real diehard

are conservative i don't know they're on the same station here in orlando so whatever so

gangrene so um phil henry's on uh in in memphis and memphis no kidding is he is he doing his

i know he has 90 a.m is he are they simulcasting his new show or are they replaying his old one

no it's his new show his new show but he doesn't do the characters on it from what i understand

is that correct i don't know i just found out i just got back to memphis from atlanta so i'm

gonna listen tonight at midnight yeah cool let me know do they stream online um you can check i

I put the website in the chat thing.

990 AM out of Memphis.

Out of Memphis.

Google 990 AM.

All right, cool.

I'll check that out.

I haven't heard his new show yet,

but I think I had understood that he was not doing the pranks

and the characters anymore on his show.

We used to play one of those every...

He's podcasting.

Yeah, he is, too.

Really?

I've never gotten around to checking out the podcast.

I've got to do that.

He looks like a bum.

He looks like a fat Mr. Clean.

He looks like a fucking bum off the street.

Yeah, I hear his wife is pretty attractive, though.

Anyway, all right, so we're going to call the tattoo spot in Saipan, all right?

Thanks to Baz for that, by the way.

We'll be right back with the next prank in a moment here, folks.

You know, I played Call of Duty 4 online for the first time this weekend.

It might have convinced me to buy a PlayStation 3 next week with my tax return,

as opposed to the Xbox 360.

Switch to Xbox 360.

No, man.

Enjoy yourself.

No, man.

Enjoy yourself.

Maybe I scared him off when I confirmed

We got another number you sent too though right

Yeah that's confirmed also

Alright we'll try that here too

Cool cool cool

Gatling is bringing up

A friend of mine here Gatling

One of the listeners here

Long time listener

Bringing up about that group Anonymous

That is trying to take down Scientology

That's been going on for a few weeks now

I don't know all of a sudden out of nowhere

where this hostility towards scientology get like even more animated i don't know where it came from

from the various groups um i was i i worked downtown orlando and on the way home on on the

big stretch uh on the big stretch downtown orlando there's a scientologist building at a they got a

sign i was going by one time and usually traffic through here is always dead stop on my way to work

at eight o'clock in the morning and i looked to i'm stopped in traffic and one of the buildings

to the left of me uh says uh free stress test and i said free stress test and then uh that i kind of

like wait a minute isn't that one of those scientologist things and sure enough it said

you know church of scientology orlando's center or something something and i was going coming back

home a few weeks ago and there was a group of kids out in front of it uh protesting with science

it says scientology is stupid and stuff like that and honk if you hate scientology you know what

I fucking honked

Because I hate Scientology

I don't know

I don't know why I hate it

But I guess I should

You talking about there

Over off Interstate 4

Colonial

East 15

Interstate 4

Yeah right

Right around there

Right in front

Close to the 7-Eleven

Out there man

That's what I'm talking about

That

There's a weird 7-Eleven

Oh like going towards the arena

Yeah

I know where you're at

What happened to Milkman

Oh Milkman

Hang on

Hang on Milkman

You know what

I hung up on Milkman

I didn't even realize

Milkman are you there

Milkman

Hey

Yeah man

Hey

Why didn't you come back

On the line

So, I wanted to bring up real quickly, we're on the term of the arena.

Just horn if you're honky.

Milkman, I talked to you about this, but I turned down the opportunity to see Van Halen live in concert tonight at 7 p.m.

It was like a last-minute thing.

Someone told me they had an extra ticket.

They wanted me to, you know, they had an extra ticket, and they were offering me to go for free to see Van Halen in concert here in Orlando tonight.

It would have been at 7.

and probably would have finished by now.

It would have been awesome.

But no, I just didn't feel, I don't know.

Yeah, it would have been really cool to see Van Halen,

but it was really last minute, and I was going to do the show,

and I just, I don't know, I was not feeling like going out tonight.

But I had the chance.

I probably should have gone.

I bet you the Van Halen concert would have been cool.

But whatever, whatever.

Okay, so yeah, so these people are taking him down.

So I think, didn't they also recently hack their servers,

and they uploaded a bunch of documents

and stuff like that. I saw that. That was like three weeks

ago. And I did see the video, the

crazy videos with

Tom Cruise

too. That guy is just weird. Those videos

are on YouTube now. Try to check those out.

The Tom Cruise Scientology videos

are really fucking crazy.

I'm going to do one more prank here before

we take a quick break.

Let's try that other number from

Baz here for a side pan. This is Wild

Bills Bar and Grill. Alright.

All right, coming right up.

What are you saying, Milkman?

Horny if you're honk?

Horny if you're honky.

How you doing?

Speak to you real quickly about some situation here.

You know what?

You know, whatever.

Why are you so slow to answer the phone?

I think it was.

I'm sorry?

How many rings?

I think it was like six.

That was six rings, right?

Six rings?

It was six rings, right?

Six rings?

What are you talking about?

The phone ran six times before you picked it up.

You know, I think that was a little too...

That was about two rings too many.

Oh, sorry about that.

Yeah, okay, we're basic, okay.

Yeah, well, like, four rings, okay.

Five, eh, six, eh, that.

You got the...

Too long, yeah, sorry about that.

That's what you got right there.

Mm-mm.

The phone's like this.

Like that, okay?

This is the grill.

Hi.

All right.

What's the drinking age in this country?

Pardon me, sir?

What's the drinking age in this country?

God, you people.

Every person in this country I try to talk to is like...

You can say it again.

I don't understand what you're saying.

What drinking age in...

woman doesn't know how to answer questions.

Okay, sir, because you just gave me the phone,

and I don't know what you're asking.

I just want to make sure what you're asking.

Ma'am?

Should I ask my question a third time even slower this time?

Or did you understand it?

No, I'm not the one who answered the second one.

They just gave me the phone now.

Somebody, you're talking first, and she gave me the phone,

and I thought that this is for me, but...

How many...

If you're talking to her a long time...

Wait, wait, wait, God, God, God, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Shut up, you're confusing me.

How many people have I talked to now?

Three or two?

This is second, third now.

Not the third, the second.

Okay, the second one, I'm going to give it to her.

Jesus Christ.

Are they Vietnamese?

You're getting the economy running around.

I think they're Vietnamese.

I think so.

Tell them do, ma, mai.

Hey.

Easily confused.

Didi Mao.

Do, ma, mai.

What's that?

Didi Mao.

Do you understand Didi Mao?

Ma, mai.

Pina.

I just want to, I'm just asking you.

That's hot.

Yeah, well, see, here's the thing.

I've asked a question like three, five times or something like that.

Maybe I'm embellishing.

Can you answer the question for me?

Can you ask me again what is your question?

What is the drinking age in this country?

Jesus, God damn.

Please tell me the drinking age.

Can I speak to number three again?

Speak to number three.

Is this number one?

Number one.

You're the worst one of all of them.

Let me speak to number three.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Okay, the third woman I spoke to over there who spoke a little English.

What's her name?

Please get her on the line for me again because she actually understood me.

What's her name?

Put the...

No, the Filipino one.

Not Brian.

It's Valente.

Yeah, Nora, Nora.

Put this a long way, folks.

You tell her get on the phone now.

Tell her now.

Tell her I said now.

What, bye-bye?

Bye-bye.

Arguing about.

The train wreck.

No, I can't.

Is this Nora yet?

What is this?

Is this the Filipina bitch?

Become English.

Call, please.

Yes.

Sorry.

Good call, Tuck.

I was actually in the middle of quoting that.

Very good, man.

So it was dark.

Never been off this way.

Get off my brainwave, Tuck.

all right so we got a we got element here element here has sent us a number for a guy named mario

mario and uh this is what element says uh he uh he knocked on his door he was passing out flowers

for lawn mowing and the guy told him get out of here you goddamn fucking n-word and that is what

but he said,

ain't that fucked up?

He said the N-word.

He said N-word.

He said N-word, man.

All right, we're going to call Mario

and we're going to take a break.

So hang on, everybody.

Hello?

Sister,

I want to speak with Mario.

I want to speak with Mario, I said.

And shit.

We're taking a break.

I got to go take a shit

or something like that, man.

I got to take a monster shit, man.

Monster shit, Milkman.

What do you say, Milkman?

How are you thinking so far?

How do you think?

That's the first half

of Madhouse Radio, everybody.

We're going to come back

after a five-minute break

and do some more prank calls and take some more of your calls.

Remember, you can reach us at Madhouse Radio on AOL and Yahoo Instant Messenger.

Madhouse Radio on AOL and Yahoo Instant Messenger.

Wow, my mic is loud. Sorry about that.

That's Madhouse Radio on AOL and Yahoo Messenger.

And also, the toll-free line is 1-888-278-8509.

When we come back, we do have more numbers to call.

We've got the Fatty Low Chicken Rice in Malaysia.

we've got the crocodile farm and seafood in malaysia we still haven't called hell's canyon

resort and marina and we've got the red man club the stumbling monk tavern sassy lassie lingerie

shop and smoothie king all coming in uh bad boys of ohio of ohio wrong one bad boys of iowa checking

in what's up cough syrup said they're gonna cough syrup the guy cough syrup is says he's gonna try

to call in he might be joining us here in the second half of the show fall says she pranked

invited a prank caller called d sigas to call in and at least do a prank i'm not sure if he will

call but he's good at it and apparently just started doing it he has a show with 186 viewers

right now if that's cough syrup i don't know uh yeah dude oh yeah oh well hell let's do that

cool fuck join in bad boys of iowa says ohio what the fuck you better go take a shit good idea

very very good idea when we come back when they do more prank calls as i said give us about five

minutes and we'll be here again and uh and uh whatever yeah 11 27 p.m we'll be right back in

just a moment this is madhouse radio on syndicate radio.tv prank call that info and 98.6 the mouth

right after this

trying to reach your husband he has such a big car i'd love to take it in the ass and i got some

My brother wants to tell you, my kind of white lady has some of that North Carolina sausage, my friend Jill.

Call the doctor, my man.

I have a big, I don't know.

Big bag, I got a big black gun.

What are you going to do about it?

I bet you, what, what, who are you?

What do I do about it?

Crazy, I'm sorry.

My damn problem.

Sorry, man.

They put your GPS in your box at a trap door at the bottom.

So when you die, you open a tractor at the bottom, you check the GPS, and you go straight down to the hell.

Madhouse Radio is back.

You are bigger than a woman. You are better than a woman.

We'll always be behind you.

Do not let a woman ever, ever make you who you are.

That's a reclude call there, everybody. We're back.

We're recluded in a while.

DC Look is asking where he or she can find that reclude call.

Well, it was available before in the Madhouse forums,

but the Madhouse forums are no longer there anymore.

So I'll have to get that up there.

I will get it up soon.

There's a link to it, actually.

I'll try to get...

Nunu, I should play the end of prank for Nunu.

I should at least play the end of this here,

so Nunu can hear it,

and then we'll play the whole thing at the end of the show here.

Milkman's first prank call.

Historic moment on the mouth.

Thank you, everybody who's still listening to us.

We've got a pretty sizable crowd here

We've been having fun tonight

And I want to thank you all from the bottom of my ass

For staying with us

Now if you want to call us again

The toll free line is open tonight

And for the remainder of the night

888-278-8509

Again that's 888-278-8509

Rest in peace

Biggie Smalls

What is that called the end

That's weird Ted's not around tonight

He must not be in the house tonight

Okay, cool.

Man, how's the radio?

You're on the air.

DC Loke, how you doing?

Hey, DC Loke, what's up?

My phone's making a buzzing noise again.

That's my fault.

What's going on, man?

I should have known.

I used to work this job that was written because they had me.

At least an hour and a half long most of the time.

It gets the longest.

Three hours.

The longest in the podcast realm.

So how'd you find it?

Yeah, I walked right into that one.

So how'd you explain this?

Did you go on iTunes?

Is that where you found it?

Yeah, iTunes.

iTunes, okay.

It's never been listed on the front, I don't think, right?

I just, uh, you said a search?

No, I got it through, you know, I used to listen to the Phone Loop podcast.

Right, it's a popular one.

Right, right.

Yeah, you know, I stopped making those.

I was a KDK one.

Myself, actually.

Yeah, yeah.

The high-pitched air coast of the show.

Yeah, that was pretty good stuff.

Okay.

It was that way.

Okay, cool.

Awesome, man.

Jack Masterson is the overweight guy, the 482-pound man.

Yes, sir.

So simple.

Do his voice, people.

It is funny.

Yeah, one of my, we haven't done him much lately,

But one of my favorite recent pranks has been the one where, I don't know if you heard the one that we did.

I think I put it on the podcast where he breaks down and cries at the end of it.

That was on the show.

Yeah, it's on the website.

It's called Jack Breaks Down.

If you get the chance to hear that, it's funny, man.

It's like he starts, yeah, he's singing The Doors, This is the End.

Who did The Doors?

It's like This is the End.

My only friend, yeah.

All right, cool.

Well, hey, man, that's good to know.

I'm trying to stay on top of the podcast.

I fell behind since the new year started, and I know I added two new episodes recently.

I've got two more in the pipe.

They're ready to go, and I've just got to upload them and fix the script up.

So that should be done this weekend.

Oh, hey, now that I'm back in the show.

Awesome.

One more question I wanted to ask you, though.

Sure.

What happened to our friend Donut Guy?

Sam?

You've been harassing him.

Sam the Donut Guy.

Yeah, this is around, but when we call it, apparently there was a change in owners,

and it's like a black lady who answers now.

And we had some fun with her a few times, but it's not the same.

But, yeah, I think that he or whoever, I think it was his family that owned it.

I think they sold it off to another person.

Sold the business.

Yeah, so I think that's done.

Unless for some miracle reason we find another Dunkin' Donuts he might have gone to instead.

But it looks like they sold the business to someone else, which sucks.

You know, it's a big world out there, and this being an international prank call show,

I'm sure they'll always find a victim.

For sure, there's always someone out there.

hey man thanks for checking in with us dude

it's good to talk to you man keep listening

keep telling friends

hey man thanks enjoy yourself

alright take care

that was cool good to hear from fans like that out there

we have a very diverse group that listens to us

and see I told you motherfuckers

that the podcast is a very important thing

I need to stay on top of that

because we get a whole different

we've got a whole different crew of fans

who never listen to the show live

they listen to it you know whenever

they listen to it whenever they get an update

on their podcast, they listen to it

on the way to work, they listen to it during work

I talk to people, there's one guy

who works in a library, all he does is

shell books all day and he listens to the show

on his iPod while he shells books once a week

when I'm normally doing a weekly

edit to the podcast

we've got lots of fans

from all different realms, all over the world

actually, I'm always a fan of the

Dewey Decimal System

the Dewey Decimal System is a good thing

but it is rather confusing

confusing as as organizational as it is it can be rather confusing with all the decimals you know

wish it was a better way yeah but library nerds like it i guess so i guess so but you know what

i i've had a fantasy about doing a librarian like a hot looking librarian you know with with the

glasses and uh like that but none of them really exist all the librarians i've ever seen in in the

real world are all old women who are ugly they do yeah but uh yeah there's got to be a hot

librarian woman out there if any of you know of a hot librarian woman out there let me check the

phone out there yeah it's making that buzz again man i'll do that to it got a little better that

time okay anyway so continuing dude that chopper is still flying over this fucking place

erase your system erase your hard drive now man erase it man or it's getting it

you're getting your hard drive i can see the freaking light shining down right now

Yeah, man.

Flush it, flush it, flush it.

Flush my hard drive, yeah.

I'm going to do that.

Fuck that.

I'll go down.

Yeah.

Kokini agrees.

The podcasts are more important than some realize.

Indeed, Kokini.

Not Kokini.

Kokini or Kokini.

Kokini.

That's right.

Start with the podcasting, man.

Yeah, yes, sir.

Okay.

We need more numbers here.

Let's see what we got going on here.

Fatty, low chicken rice in Malaysia.

Let's call that.

More pranks are coming right up here in a moment, folks.

Nobody go anywhere.

Back in a moment with the fatty, low chicken rice restaurants.

and penne.

Exactly. I'd like to make a

reservation for two servings, please.

You want to make a reservation? For two

servings. Yes. God, just write

down the stuff. Get your pen, paper,

pencil, whatever. Get it out now. You got

it yet? You're so slow. You getting it

or what? What's going on? 2-1. Okay, whatever

that was. I was a big fat turd.

As usual, the second half of the show goes right

about here.

Okay. The bad boys

of Iowa. He wants us to

call a prank call.

not call prank prank call my brother-in-law about a call you got from his phone number

if you push it really hard he will break down and cry great okay why not no right back with that

the brother-in-law coming do it

sean can we speak please to you about your girlfriend huge woman a huge woman and she's

He's got these sweat things that come down.

Oh, man.

I'll tell you what.

Corn starch, man.

Honey.

Excuse me?

Did you say the F word to me, sir?

How about you take back the word fuck first?

Say that to me.

I take back the word.

Okay, I take back the word fuck.

You had to throw it in there, didn't you?

This is Valente.

Titties are a big ass.

They're hard titties, you know?

Guys, it's big.

Who thinks my girlfriend?

Hard salami.

Salamis, you know?

You know when you cut that salami down right about the middle length?

Look at that big fat...

What's that sound in the back?

What's that?

What's up, girl?

How you doing?

Don't talk to me like that.

You really need to learn to slap your woman around there, kid.

I'm talking to you.

I'm talking.

The men are talking, honey.

Go sit there and be pretty, all right?

I said, you just sit there and be pretty.

The men are talking.

They're having a man conversation, okay?

Don't you have...

Go make a grilled cheese sandwich, all right?

Go eat some cookie dough.

The men talk.

Sean, I'm trying to get a hold of you, dude.

I asked for you, right?

We picked up the phone and I said, Sean.

That's your name?

So...

Valente.

Related to the property manager sir

The residence that you're in right now

I was at Maddie's the other night

And walks your girl

All these stories

Tells me about her favorite perfume this

Her favorite perfume that

That she's wearing Clinique and all this shit

Blah blah blah

Sir you know we're not going to get into this right now okay

You're out of here

Because I'm not having this conversation with you right now

You know what's going on here

Be a man

Do your duty

And start telling that woman

To handle herself like a lady

Because she's doing a disservice to you and to her own self.

When your woman sits down on a bar stool and leaves that nasty sweat stain on there.

And when she got up from the stool, it made that sound that sounded like you were pulling apart two Playboy magazine pages that had gotten stuck together after you finished using it.

If you know what I mean, when you were 14 years old.

That's exactly what it sounded like when she stood up from that bar stool.

That's disgusting, sir.

Why does she sweat so much?

All I'm saying is cornstarch

Or get that checked out

Maybe she should have a DKG

Look up on your inner mind

What's your answer, dude?

Been going around all night

All fucking night, you know?

Trying to sleep, can't

Thought I'd give you a call

Have a talk with you

John, you're alright

Can you give your old lady a kiss for me on the phone?

Kiss her

The tongue

Gay?

Why don't you kiss the girl?

What's wrong?

Are you a gay?

Come prove it

If you're such a man, why don't you kiss

I wish I knew her name

But yeah, I think he's a gay

I think he's a gay

We have proof

I kissed my girl right now.

She was here, but she's not.

So I'll kiss Milkman instead.

That was fun, wasn't it?

All right, so we're going to play the D'Anda thing, right?

Let's listen to this D'Anda thing here.

Do you know anybody called David?

Called Eric?

No, you're going to answer her.

And use it.

Well, do I have to spend in an aeroplane?

I go in the aeroplane.

Pay then for spending in an aeroplane.

Is that a question?

I don't like aeroplane.

I'm afraid of aeroplane.

I see him.

You are in the...

God bless this place.

You know I hope.

Give me money if I get my telephone line.

This is a prepaid.

Sorry?

This is prepaid.

This is the...

Ricardo Martinez.

I am the operator with, uh,

I mean, Bell.

This person is not on the line any longer.

This is Roberto Martinez.

I am...

I mean, Bell in Miami, Florida.

We are the phone company.

You're a phone company in Florida getting hitched up.

Yes, we do some tests.

The problem is it is a very collective that you're using of a number

along the international call billing to the other person.

Actually, I didn't make the test.

He goes into undersea cables and he makes a test.

Yeah, well, he's got a submarine and he'll pull the cables out of it.

So there you go.

You are meeting right now, lady, that you're behind the cables.

You are meeting right now.

Now, you are not, you are not, you are in with this man.

He's going to send you out.

He's going to sell me out.

Is that a plan?

Yeah, he will.

You know there's a lot of problems in Miami.

Let me let you know.

What do you know about Miami?

I live in Miami.

You live in Miami?

I told you, I work from Miami bed.

And that's a good boy.

So I'm putting you down and you're refusing to pay.

So I am.

Okay, well in this case, in the name of the American court,

I find you guilty of not paying me.

You can do that.

And if they hate you, you're guilty of being an asshole.

That's memories from last week.

Almost, uh, almost, uh, wow, almost exactly a week ago.

Yay.

Anyway, we continue.

The next prank call tonight is coming right up.

That was nine minutes.

That's an edited version.

That doesn't have Milkman's ramble on it.

Milkman's ramble's missing from that.

Okay, we're gonna call, uh, Muriel, Muriel Beats.

The show's gonna be wrapping up soon, so, uh, call in now if you want.

888-278-8509.

Back in a moment.

It's not a mistake.

This is...

Bruce-san.

Dress me as sir.

Bruce-san.

Peter Spooner instead.

Peter Spooner in Manchester.

Manchester's always fun.

Peter Spoon's acting up again, man.

Buzzing and the people sound lower than I do.

This happens all the time at random.

The usual clears itself up.

The helicopter's jamming in the frippies.

Maybe that's it.

Phone tap, kid.

Yow.

Phone tap.

Yow, yow.

The Spooner is not gonna work, son of a bitch.

Craziness.

It's all buzzy.

It's all like...

it sounds like that listen you hear that

vibrator out off out of your ass and maybe a sound clip you don't have to be crass geez how

crass are you anyway so uh yeah dude i did my taxes last night did them in a half hour using

h&r block uh tax cut online dude i'm getting a two thousand eight hundred dollar return i'm

Real excited about that, boy.

That's a lot of weed right there, buddy.

Looking forward to that nice fat return.

I'm going to have it direct deposited in 8 to 10 days.

It only cost me $14.95 to file it.

And I did it by myself for 30 minutes in my underwear here at my computer where you are watching me now.

Imagine that scene last night.

Me shirtless in my underwear doing my taxes, eating greasy New York style pizza and drinking beer.

It doesn't get any better than that, folks.

And I was doing other stuff, too.

Where's my pants?

It was 30 minutes, but I took a three-minute masturbation break in the middle of it.

Cool.

It's all it takes sometimes.

We do it right.

Denny's Duke in Liverpool, England.

Denny's Duke is coming right up, everybody.

Just a moment.

Hi, Dave.

This is Christina.

Denny's?

Duke!

Hello there, pilgrima.

Pilgrima-san.

Pilgrimo-san.

Hello.

I just pick up the phone, and they're like, da-da-da.

All right, fine.

That's not going to work.

All right.

All right, we'll try the saddle-ing.

Saddle-ing.

This is the last call of the night, everybody.

Saddle-in in Liverpool, England.

Coming right up.

I hear you on the line, woman.

Could have been part of the fun.

I hear you over there not wanting to talk.

I hear you.

You're still listening, aren't you, stupid?

Why don't you say something?

Be a man or a woman.

Come on.

You could have had fun with us.

We could have made your day.

But no, you just want to sit there and listen in silence like a coward chicken that you are.

We all laugh at you, you inferior person.

Hang on, everyone.

Now she hangs up.

Now she hung up.

She finally hung up then.

Stupid.

This one doesn't even ring.

We're going to give it three and two and one, and that's it.

Well, we still had a good show tonight, didn't we, guys?

Didn't we, Milkman, Tuck, Baz, and Carlito?

Yes, we did, guys.

Yeah, I think so.

Yeah.

Most definitely.

We had fun.

All right, that's what it's all about.

Milkman, take us out of here quickly, please.

Take us out of here quickly, please, Milkman.

Definitely, man. I'd like to thank everybody who's checking us out here on 98.6 The Mac.

The Madhouse, that is.

I thank our good buddy, Ted.

This is Ted Webb.

Good to join us tonight.

Buddy's here in the mirror.

I thank the kids, man.

I'll throw our partners here.

Baz.

Dick.

Everybody else.

Howdy, howdy, fuckers.

Thanks for joining in.

That's our regular Madhouse crew.

Hey, all you guys out there in the chat room.

Howdy, howdy.

and the lonesome loser, the numbers hit man.

Hardest working man right here in the madhouse town.

Thank you so much, brother.

Come on.

DeAnda.

Bye-bye.

DeAnda.

Glad you could join us.

You did an excellent call.

Yeah.

That's not a person.

Do you know Joni and told her to go abroad?

I said, yes.

Bye-bye.

Thanks for tuning in, DeAnda, and having some fun with this.

This is Folly Folly, my sister.

Howdy, howdy.

Mr. Cyr Nunu of Wankershire and all our other friends out there.

Hello, and thanks for tuning in.

Taking part in this crazy thing we call Madhouse

and all our crazy knuckle-headed wild friends over here.

Syndicate.

TV.radio.tv.

Syndicate.

Excellent.

Thanks a lot.

Syndicate.radio.tv.

We sure enjoy your participation.

All right.

That's right.

TV.net.com.

I'm just kidding.

That's the other one.

Anyway, thanks a lot.

And we don't want to forget you, our most important, important person, you, the listeners.

Thanks for tuning in because, my gosh, we do this every week just for you.

We pay the money, and you just give us some time.

We drop a dime, and we have some laughs right here.

But we couldn't do it without our big leader, the Madhouse Generalissimo,

the leader of the Madhouse Militia, Carlito Hermano.

Thank you so much, brother.

All right.

Thank you for acknowledging this and sharing your particularly crazy sense of humor.

That's what I did.

Thanks, Milkman, for acknowledging that, too.

I appreciate that, man.

Thanks, Milkman, for coming in when you made it.

Thanks for the guys who sat at the roundtable.

Tuck, thank you.

Hey, man, blame it on the 505 and California Transportation Authority.

Thank you.

Hey, I blame everything on them.

War in Iraq, my low tax return this year, I blame it on them, too.

Probably could have gotten more.

And, hey, don't forget, everybody, you're looking forward to a $600 tax return each.

And if you have children, even more than that, an extra rebate, tax rebate check,

we're expecting probably in the summer.

Yeah.

Man, things are looking good, man.

$2,800.

Boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.

$2,800 plus $600.

What wage money?

$2,800 plus $600, that's like $340.

That's not bad.

$340.

All right.

Tuck, what's your plug?

What's going on with you?

You on Sunday?

pcu radio sunday one year anniversary of the revolution podcast uh which is recorded and

should be on podcast and we'll have uh some sort of special thing sometime on sunday uh to

commemorate it all right so somewhere so somewhere on sunday um you can go to to the what are you

i don't know go go to the uh go to pcu radio or whatever check the chat room there or something

if you want. Tuck's going to be on this weekend.

Sunday afternoon, I'd say

around 5 Eastern.

Alright, cool. I'll make it

a point. I'll be at the airport at that time, picking up

the old battle axe.

You know what I mean?

And thanks, Baz.

Thanks, Baz. I know Brandon Vegas was around

too. Thanks, Baz, for showing up.

Kokanee, thank you

for sending in articles this weekend.

Thank you, man. Everybody who called

in. Jonathan,

Tasty Noob,

I didn't get to the prank caller that Fall had planned.

I'm sorry about that.

Sorry, man.

My bad.

Anyway, and yeah, that's about it.

We're out of here, everybody.

We will be back on next week at the same time, 10 p.m. Eastern Standard Time,

until about this time.

Catch you next week.

Thank you.

And, of course, Lins and Loser, thank you, of course.

Al esfuerzo y al heroismo.

Yo queremos.

No lo necesitamos.

Good.

Bye.

Have your pencils ready.

Madhouse Radio is live Thursday nights at 10 p.m. Eastern.

Why don't you shut the hell up?

Fuck you! Fuck you!

Be sure to visit us online at madhouselive.com.

Calls (15, 31 min of 1 h 47 min)

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