2008-04-03 Show

What the fuck is this?

Listening House Radio Podcast.

Everybody, what's up?

Good evening.

Madhouse Radio is back for another time.

Another time.

Another time, another way.

We're back again.

Thank you everybody for listening tonight.

We're going to have a good show tonight.

I don't even know if there's anybody, Mike, hanging out with me.

Studio, anybody here?

Who's here?

Brandon Vegas, are you here?

Nope.

Yeah, I'm here.

Yeah, man.

Awesome.

All right, well, it's me, Carlito.

Brandon Vegas is here.

Milkman will be joining us via telephone in a little bit here.

Maybe that's him.

Maybe not.

Oh, there he is.

Oh, that's the reclude.

That's the reclude.

Hang on, let me get reclude in the line here.

Reclude?

Hey, you're just in time.

All right, everybody, we got reclude in the line.

He's going to sit there and behave.

Anyway, so Madhouse Radio is starting.

Milk Manable joining us shortly.

Reclude is in the house.

What's up, reclude?

How you doing tonight?

Massage?

Yeah.

Ooh, massage.

That's good.

Yeah, nothing but us living it up.

All right, everybody, if you want to reach us here tonight, the toll-free line will be open later tonight.

No, Reckless, what's that line, man?

Give that out if you know it.

Line A, toll-free map line is 1-888-278-8509.

Yes, sir.

U.S., Canadian, let's just say.

That's right, all of you.

UK, even Canadian, except for British Columbia, they're actually still banned.

But everybody else, it's a long story.

Some guy from British Columbia kept calling, so I banned the entire province.

Like, fuck it.

All of them are out.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, there's an area code in Iowa, too, that's banned.

Like, some asshole kept calling from a pay phone and hanging up all day.

I was like, all right, faggot, you want to do that?

Your whole area code is blacklisted.

Oh, my God, what about all the talented prankers and geniuses from Iowa?

Yeah, oh, yeah, it was somewhere, it was like, and I looked at it, it was like bumfuck Iowa.

It wasn't even like, you know, like Des Moines or something like that.

It was some weird fucked up...

I wonder where the guy found out about you at.

I don't know, he was just like, he's like, oh, let me call...

I swear to god

He would call

And was freaking Athena out

Athena would be like

Oh he called again

And when I come up

From work

I'm like shut up

So what

He's like oh

What if he knows

Where we live

He doesn't know

Where we fucking live

He's got our toll free line

It's anonymous

Big fucking deal

Toll free line

God

He's some

I was like

He's probably some

Like ten year old

Who gets home

And gets out of school

And probably goes to

The pay phone at the school

And calls our number all day

Whenever he goes by

Probably is

Probably is a fucking kid

Fucking kids

No kids are allowed

To listen to this show anymore

That's it man

Reckless

Oh my god

Yeah, kids are like fucking disease.

Yeah, you're one to talk.

Anyway, so speaking of kids and diseases, I don't know where I was going with that.

But if you want to, I guess we'll go with me.

But if you want to reach me here tonight, also, other than the toll-free line,

you can reach me on Yahoo and AOL Instant Messenger, Madhouse Radio.

Again, that's Madhouse Radio on Yahoo and AOL Instant Messenger.

And then we also have MSN Messenger, Madhouse, at live.com.

And, of course, just go to the website, madhouselive.com itself, and hang out with us.

And have fun

Fuck it right

I just recharged up

The spoof card

The spoof tail man

So we're good to go with that

Yeah dude

I ran out of like

Three of them

I was crazy

Last couple days

Yeah but how many

Cause what

It's ten bucks for an hour

Right

Yeah

So I've had like

Sash and a pot

Like what I'll do

Is I'll just sit here

And like I got a phone tap

Record right into my

Mixing board and shit

So I'll kind of have it

Hooked up

Like I just get an idea

Or go with it

And do people on the same idea

Like over and over

And over again

Holy shit

That's fucking funny

funny that's fucking crazy it's fucking crazy you sent me you know i gotta play that tonight

that was actually a really good call that one that you i wanted you like that yeah that was

pretty funny actually yeah i'll play that here in a little bit that's a good idea that's a good

idea i'm getting messages from milkman he's upset because he's not able to call and he's in his car

stuck in traffic as usual at this time of night he's he's in california like la like the worst

place to be stuck in traffic it's like a parking lot every freaking week yeah i know it um and i

can't call him direct he's got to call in let me call him on the other line here real quick okay

Let me get him on the line here, rather.

All right.

So, what have you been up to, man?

Studio work and just the same old, same old stuff you're up to?

Yeah, dude, just fucking pimping ass here and there.

Just like fucking mostly just working.

All right.

I had a little couple rendezvous there.

It's just kind of bullshit, though.

Yeah, man.

Nothing real great, but it's all, I don't know, it's fun times about this.

I'm still looking for my big break where I don't have to go into work anymore.

Like, nothing.

I just want to stay.

I just want to retire, man.

I envy retired people.

But no, it's not going to be possible, the way the economy is, man.

It's just a run into the radio thing, dude.

That's probably your best bet.

Yeah, you think?

Try to run it into a real-time job without being on.

Yeah, that's going to happen.

God, I'd probably be miserable with that, too.

I'm such a miserable person.

I'd be so miserable with that.

I'd be like, oh, fuck this shit.

You haven't reached the right mailbox.

Oh, I'm going to give out his phone number.

All right, so Milkman is actually...

Three, four.

You got that much, everybody.

You got three, four.

So, yeah, I don't know.

We've got a lot of news to talk about, but I say we just get to the prank also

since we've got Reclute on the line already.

You know what? I don't even have any numbers by now yet, sir.

Well, go to some news real quick. Get them mugs.

I'll find some numbers while you're talking.

You do that. Lonesome Losers is in the chat room also.

Thank you, Lonesome, for hanging out.

I'd like to say what's up to everybody on Syndicate, syndicateradio.tv.

Rev's in there, Spike Mike, I'm in there,

and Bubba, C, Bubbad, and Froggy.

Where the fuck is everybody?

Where are all the syndicators, man?

Fuck.

Fucking syndicators.

That sucks.

Apparently there's two chat rooms now.

Great.

That happened again.

Don't you love it when that happens?

It's beautiful.

Damn it.

And what else is going on here?

We're on Justin.TV.

I see our normal rough hands are in there.

It's a video stream that I use for the Madhouse side, and it comes with his own chat room

and a bunch of people.

Oh, okay.

There's a dude on there.

This is a black dude who looks like a gorilla who does his own prank calls, but they're

not that funny forgot his name why are you saying this on the air i don't know i don't know why i'm

saying it but he's not funny i'm just being honest the guy's just lost a fan you dumb fuck he's not

a fan he doesn't listen he thinks he's too good for us he i've heard his pranks are like really

dumb i mean they're worse than i don't know we're some prank masters remember how god he sucked

yeah it's like i mean that yeah those are fucking horrible and he calls himself the prank master

I'm like, dude.

I thought that was, like, hilarious.

Yeah.

Like, the prank master.

It's just, like, he would get, like, he'd laugh.

They just had fucking, they had two things of sense in their fucking head, you know?

They could make me laugh with a prank just by being a fucking do that.

It was unfunny.

And everything he did just did not, nothing ever, like, bellowed itself or anything like that.

I don't, I don't understand.

Like, he'd call me, like, yo, do you have quiet cars there?

I remember once he did some shit like this.

I'm gonna blow up your cars.

I was like, you dumb shit.

Yeah, you're gonna do bomb threats on my show, you fucking asshole.

Yeah, that's right, that's right.

Yeah, stupid, stupid.

And remember he said he was going to kill himself with deadly gas?

We started calling him Gas Master all the time.

He said some shit, I'm going to kill myself, I'm going to mix ammonia and Clorox,

and I'm going to kill myself, or something like that.

And we're like, okay, yeah, you do that, man.

Gas Master.

I'll tell you what, that one thing, right?

Yeah.

He got a cruise ship because he served something wrong.

Oh, did he?

And somebody got sick.

He was working on some cruise ship.

And I think he was supposed to make the easiest thing.

He was telling KDK this once

He's like

Yeah

They fired me

Cause they made

He made it raw

And someone got sick over it

I don't know what it was

And then he ended up like

He was fired

But he was stuck on the boat still

For like another four days

Cause he was out at sea

Yeah

Like

He can't

He's on the boat

What happened

So I don't know

I guess

I guess he was explaining

Like they kind of like

They locked him in his room

Or like

Not in the brig

But like he was allowed

To stay in his quarters

But he

Like he didn't have

Any normal clothes

And he couldn't go out

In his uniform

form so he's pretty much he couldn't leave his little quarters for like four days that's pretty

hilarious yeah that's that's fucked up and they weren't gonna let him like go around the cruise

ship like it was on a vacation when they just gotten fired you know that's pretty bad though

yeah fuck that i'm saying i mean i don't know i guess i guess i was going with that horrible thing

they say the skinny chef probably sucks because why is he skinny well yeah because you pray all

he does is eat well it might be good no he's a moron he can do that right okay well so he's

I'm about to Yahoo message you.

I feel like calling one of those cafes.

Toll House Cafe, that's right.

You still got those numbers?

Here's something.

Noon, while you do that, Noonoo's coming in with a taxi company in the UK.

They had to take some Earl, like, you know, an Earl, like a Duke, an Earl, whatever.

Yeah.

They had to take some Earl's daughter to the Chelsea football game 70 miles south.

Ended up going to some village 200 miles the wrong way, which had the same name as the football stadium.

So she was supposed to go to some, like, a stadium for, like, a soccer game,

and ended up taking her 200 miles away to some weird village for no reason, apparently.

Maybe Reclude can call us Lord Reclude, and they're called Mayfair Taxes in Northampton, UK.

So we got that number here.

That's like, sorry if it's like, yeah, I'm trying to think of how to, like, have an A.

Well, what the fuck are you talking about?

I'm like, well, you know, my daughter.

My daughter, you bastard.

You know, we call it soccer here.

Somebody can send me, like, a summary.

Yeah.

Somebody can send me.

Or I might attempt that call.

Otherwise, I'm going to try to figure out.

Nunu, send some more information directly to Reclude.

And then if you do that, then we'll be able to make the connection, you know.

Update Reclude.

You're in the chat.

We're in the chat.

So chat it up.

And a quick what's up to everybody in the chat room.

I see Bad Boys of Iowa.

Bone Fuck is just hanging out.

Brandon Vegas, of course, is on the line with us.

L.E. Fall.

Hollywood Fanja.

Or Vanya.

you that guy's got have you heard his voices man that kid can like he's a pretty good pranker that

guy yeah he's uh he's he's posted some stuff in the forums which everyone should go to madhouse

live.com check out the forums oh oh dude it's nestle toll house all right let's do it all i

gotta say here's one okay these are all in vegas they're like three hours right where are they at

again vegas vegas is that three hours back uh well you're in central right yeah i'm in ohio

You're in Ohio.

I'm just trying to think if it's before, like, don't think it blows up like 9 o'clock or something.

Well, then I get Vegas fucking.

Well, it's 7.22 in Vegas right now.

It should be.

It should be West Coast still.

Or, I guess, I think.

It's either 7 or, 7.30 or 8.30 almost.

Okay.

Well, here's two in Vegas.

All right.

7.30 confirmation.

That's right, yeah.

Brandon Vegas is in Vegas.

You told him.

He just looked at the clock, all right?

Where'd you send it to?

The Yahoo?

I'm looking at the Yahoo.

I don't see shit here.

Oh, no, it's on, uh, yeah, yeah, manhouse.

Yeah, that's the old, ancient...

Oh, that's the old one.

Well, no, that's still working.

Maybe I'm not signed in on it.

I don't know.

What the fuck?

Yahoo doesn't work for me sometimes.

I don't know.

Send it to me in the IRC because it didn't come through.

Bullshit.

Right?

Anyway, so just hang on, folks.

We're going to be calling the Nestle Toll House Cafe.

You got it?

What did we do to them last time?

What was that about?

Oh, it was the Richie Randall.

Okay, those are the Richie Randall's.

Yeah, that was good.

That was good.

I'm going to try...

I don't know.

Maybe I'm just...

I want to try, like, say, if I could push a little bit farther, maybe it'd be a little bit...

Like, you know what I'm saying?

Like, what would happen if that character turned...

...Randolph, he just started getting, like, all aggravated and angry.

That's my goal.

That'd be kind of scary.

Like, you know what I'm saying?

Just to keep on pressing.

Like, I called up...

Dude, I have a bunch of calls locally.

Okay, this is the 469 area code number, right?

I'm looking at the right one.

Nestle Tollhouse Cafe should be Frisco, Texas.

That's the one from two weeks ago.

Oh, no.

I got some from Vegas.

I got a house on ET Radio.

And that's still not coming through.

that's what the hell

send it to um

shit

hang on let me look

send it to

oh see you don't have me

on there either

see my uh

my Yahoo

yeah just IRC it

because yeah my Yahoo

look I have like

nobody on Yahoo

something's up with Yahoo

on my end

can I just post it

in the fucking

just post it

who cares

I don't care

well yeah

the kids will call

like Hollywood

he's like five

okay

that's right

this is

alright real quick

this is dead air

we're gonna

okay give us like

ten seconds

that's fine

we're playing music

it's alright

are we

we're good

people are listening

to something

Nothing really.

Alright, 702, right? Okay, cool.

Yeah, I'll just be the other one here.

Send that. I'll dial the first one while you're at that.

Yeah, folks, here comes the first call tonight.

This is a good number.

Yeah, well, we got some silver.

You know what I'm saying? Some sterling silver.

I think you guys got cables so we can push together.

Cables?

Yeah, I got a candlestick and a candle on.

Small, because you've got a big one.

The big ones? Yeah.

The big ones, they'll take about, like, an hour and 30 minutes to make.

Oh my God. Maybe I can have a couple of tonight.

So what about this little ceremony? Tell me, um, that yellow number five, um...

What about soda?

She fucked my boss, and she loves me now.

Yeah, go ahead, could you get her real quick, please?

Thank you.

I'm going to your house. Um, you want another ingredient?

Yes, yes, I just want to make yellow number five.

Now, do you guys spend that in there?

We were getting married tonight, and I just want to have a little romantic dessert.

People bring these without nuts, like the sugar cookie that I've been having.

Yeah, but what about before I just have a little...

People would be like a rehearsal dinner of the ceremony.

Just right by your cafe, right where the tables are at.

You want to do that tonight?

Yeah, just real quick.

I mean, the tables out there, that's the mall.

They close at 9.

Okay, so why are you...

What's the problem?

There's no problem.

The problem is what?

Are you the manager?

Yes.

Listen, good time.

You know, it's like if he's...

One, ain't he getting away?

There's no big tables out front.

You guys aren't...

Okay, could you just take a couple of those to the side, please?

and just, because we'll pay, we'll just get, and then.

You know, we don't own those tables, so.

Yeah, but put one to the side.

You'll put, how many tables are there on?

We can't put those to the side because we don't own those.

Okay, well, it doesn't matter, but, right, you guys, where are you guys at again?

The mall, right?

We're at the Metals Mall.

Yeah, exactly.

So, I mean, it's, I have a couple tables, and you say, hey, part of, we got to, you know, you know, we got to help.

Tables there, if you want tables there, there'll be tables available.

Okay, so, um, how many are there, because you can put to the side.

My mother-in-law is going to be down there at the sentence or whatever.

Chairs where no one can sit there, but I can't really move the tables.

Okay, you can move the chairs.

I can move, like, two chairs, but I can't.

We can't really touch the tables because they're not our tables.

Okay, no, I understand that, but maybe if you put, like, a cookie on it,

put one of your napkins or something on it, then you can say, hey, this is ours.

You know, nobody can say.

Can I go ahead and give you, like, a. . .

I can't charge you for the tables.

No, I'm not going to buy the tables.

I'm just about for the, you know, saying the milk

What kind of cookies did you want?

I just want the biggest ones, shaped like a heart, you know what I mean?

Just, you know, make your heart melt

You want the heart shaped cookies? You want that, the sugar cookie? The plain sugar cookie?

Yeah, no, wait, what are you talking about?

What kind of cookie did you want?

Okay, yeah, we want the gold fashioned chocolates that kids have

Yeah, and you guys got, what do you put them in?

Jeff, come over and bring my own glasses.

Hopefully she got them for ceremony.

Okay, and listen, just...

If you want the tables, sir, if you want the tables, you need to call customer service or mall management

and have them reserve the tables for them for you.

Okay, are they open right now?

I think customer service is open.

Okay, well, that's a lot of work. That's a lot of work.

You just, like, closed down the shop about half an hour early, like at 80.

No, we can't close the store down.

You know what I mean, Jess? You can pretend. You can ring it up.

We can't close our store any early, um, so there's...

Yeah, but it's alright. It's just special, and it's not wrong.

Everybody, you know, just want to get married. You can go ahead and do that.

Cookie, did you want us to help you?

So what's your name again?

Tiffany.

Okay, why are you giving me... I'm just trying... I'm a nice guy.

I'm just saying, I can't reserve the tables for you, and we can't close our store any early.

If you want a cookie cake, I'll be happy to make a cookie cake for you.

Oh, just go ahead and make that, you know, and you know what?

We need it this time, because I don't appreciate...

You know, we're just trying to get small little things.

We're willing to pay.

We're making a lot of big slots over here.

So we can pay.

I said that.

I'm saying I can't charge you for the table because you don't own the table.

No, that's not what I'm paying for the cookies and the milk, you know, you know.

I'm not too sure if we can help you.

We could do the cookie cake for you.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

We close at 9.

Okay.

And there are tables here if you want to use them.

Could you please talk to my father-in-law because this is going nowhere.

Hold on a second, okay?

Let me get Ralphie on here.

Does someone want to speak to Ralphie?

It's kind of cool

She's not a good candidate

She's too sweet

Yeah she seemed really

Just trying to be really

I don't know

Not political

Maybe it's like

Not the place

I guess so

You know what I mean

You're making cookies

I guess it isn't really

That type of place

Alright

We need to fuck

This

Alright

For a UK tag

He's always asking for UK shit

I got the page up here

Here's the deal

Milkman is

Let me get Milkman

On the other line here

You're going to be able

To hear him

He won't hear you

He's at a

7-Eleven with a crazy Indian lady

and he's going to send me the phone number.

He said he was going to text me the number. He never did.

So I don't understand why he didn't do that.

He's going to take video of the woman

as we prank call her, he says.

See, there we go. That's what we're talking about.

So let me get Milkman on here.

Let's get this shit down. This is going to be hilarious.

Putting the speaker on the back.

You're going to take video of this crazy Indian lady?

He's an Indian guy.

You haven't sent me the number yet, though, man.

Alright, well, I'm going to put

the stream on mute

and you really do you have it on you right now do you have the phone number right he says sure

where

are you at exactly?

I'm at the Amapillota.

Oh, my God.

Like, should I walk it down and break it?

You're going to call it, all right?

Tell me, when do I know if it's okay for us to call?

Because you've got to take videos, so we can see if we can keep it.

That's the problem.

Well, you can do a call, right?

You can dial a number.

Let's see.

It's a phone thing right now.

He's got a second phone.

He's going to film it with one videotape with one phone and stand in line with the other.

Milkman, how far away?

When are you going to be there?

You haven't answered my question yet.

I'll tell you what.

Why don't you call back this number here, the cell phone.

Call that back when you're there, all right?

Okay.

I'll tell you, okay, recluse that calling number now.

I'll put you on mute and you give me the phone number now so I can write it down so it's ready.

Recluse, don't go anywhere.

I'm going to have to put it on mute because everyone won't hear it.

I'm from California.

I'm going to get the number out again.

God, Milkman, it takes like an hour to get a phone number from you.

So, this number, when you are there, hurry up.

Bye.

Let's do this video.

Well, here's a funny one.

When Lonesome Loser sent in a number for one of my favorite restaurants,

Wackadoo's Grub Brew at UCF, which is my school,

that's the place there inside the university, in the student union.

He sent the number home with the fat-ass burgers.

They got some big burgers there, and they have their own brew of UCF golden beer.

The beer sucks, but the burgers are good.

That's awesome that he sent in the number for Wackadoo's.

That's what it's called. It's called Wackadoo's, man.

Yeah, the girls there are pretty slutty, from what I understand.

Is there anything really bad that's happened?

Call, like, whoever the latest...

Nothing like that, no, nothing bad like that.

Not at UCF, no, nothing really happens there.

Just too many students.

It's always crowded and cramped and shit.

I mean...

Oh, well, who's the...

Do they have any rivals or anything?

Nah, no, it's not a big football school.

They got a team.

I mean, the rivals are, like, USF.

That's the team in Tampa.

Or, like, the Gators or the Seminoles are rivals, too.

But, like, this school, like, at UCF,

Like, I'll go there to class, and people go with, like, you know, FSU shirts and stuff like that.

Like, Seminoles and Gators in Miami and stuff.

Like, they go to one school, but they wear, like, all the stuff for other schools in the state of Florida.

It's not a serious sports school, I guess.

I don't know.

Let's pass on that.

That's too close to home.

Oh, come on.

Oh, here's, I'm going to, I'm copy-pasting here.

There's one called Poof Films.

That's got to be, like, gay porn right there, dude.

I don't know if you heard that.

Poof Films.

That sounds really good.

Pooh Films.

P-O-O-F Films.

All right.

There's the list.

So, swing service.

There you go.

That's in L.A.

Cospicy here.

That's the top one.

That's the first one right there.

A guy answered at 940.

That was a guy answered about an hour ago.

All right.

Let's do it.

All right.

Cool.

Ontario, California.

Pooh Films, everybody.

Stand by.

Next practice.

No message.

On site.

You ready?

It's a crazy Indian guy.

What do you call it?

I told you you could call it.

It's like, I'm an exit away.

Hang on.

I got to buy my whole plaza right now.

And yell at me when you're ready, okay?

I'm going to keep you on some peace.

Jesus Christ, I'm trying.

So tell me when you're ready for action.

What's that?

This is a piece of ass.

My buddy wants to come in there and suck your dick.

He's got a cell phone camera.

The guy's a dangerous man.

Jackal.

He's a Samoan.

He looks, Milkman, you look Samoan, don't you?

You look Samoan, don't you?

You get that a lot?

Black.

The one you left in the bathroom, yeah.

Ready?

Jesus.

Where are you now?

You said you were there and you saw him.

Park a spot in the garage where I can take a validated.

It's not, actually.

It's going to go out.

I know it.

Hang on, Milkman.

Let you know when the price...

Are you ready to record?

Do you know when to record?

He's got the music up, he says.

Great.

All right.

Awesome.

Hello, the music buys cigarettes from you.

Now, Milkman, what's he doing, Milkman?

What's he doing?

Tell me, is the customer going to be long?

What's it look like?

Place a call.

Why?

To listen to your recorded call.

Please enter your destination.

All right, we'll call again.

Hang on, Rick.

All right, you're ringing again.

Stealing.

Man, just call when you get home, man.

He's not even talking to me.

He's talking about buns.

The guy's looking at him and he's trying to make a conversation.

All the gays.

I'm going to tell him to ask if there's a Samoan gentleman in there.

Let's do that.

I'm going to mute off my friend.

I look in your face.

Surround so much, you're disgruntled.

We put a window in a quarter, but you sell a seat.

There's only seven cars somewhere, okay?

What's next?

I'm getting angry.

One more time.

Maybe this will be the one.

Tell him about the Samoan guy.

No, we don't want to get Milkman.

I'm drunk.

Imagine.

Guy in your store.

Voice, you want to do the deeper voice change?

It sounds like a black guy when you call in.

that lately that can change the voice you want to do the deep voice i talk like a redneck and

it sounds like a greasy black guy from alabama you'll see we'll i'll replay it later on when

when you're when we're done and you'll see what i mean all right do that he's gonna get some uh

a lick of 40 i want you not to id him can hear milkman you called everybody here milkman talking

in the background i think the car you think it's the cops talking to him asking what are you doing

in here with two phones two phones what are you doing in here like one more time one more time

I just want to get, like, maybe he has a breaking point.

Let's do one call somewhere else, and then we'll call him back.

Let's give him a breather.

From those numbers you saw there, there's a bunch of them I'm interested in.

There was one.

What's Milkman talking about over there?

He's like, blah, blah, blah.

He's got the recording with.

All right, so the adult, notorious.

All right, this is a notorious adult video in Longview, Texas.

And here we go.

All of a sudden, there were two cell phones shopping for hats.

And you're in the store by yourself

Okay, that makes perfect sense, Milkman

We're gonna call him one more time

We just did another call temporarily

We thought we'd give him a breather and check in with you

Because we heard you talking

I thought it sounded like you were talking to a cop

Like, you know, someone had busted in on you or something like that

Suspicious behavior

Well, it's normal behavior from you

But, you know, people who don't know you don't know that, Milkman

I'm busy here trying to find

I'm gonna lose you

Because the battery's gonna die in the cell

How soon can you be at your house, man?

Be on for like another hour or so, dude

We'll take a break in a little bit

And we're gonna be on for like another hour

We're gonna do some calls tonight, man

Cool, let me know when you're at home then

Old dealer, right?

Take sure of that hat

And talk to me later

Yeah, I'll give you a call when

If Recklet gets off here soon

If not, then just hurry up and get on

On the satellite thing, man

Recklet, you wanna call him again?

Alright, let's do it

I got the phone plugged in, so no problem

Alright, hang on, Milkman

I'm Recklet, we're gonna call him

I'm gonna start getting funny, dude

Because he's kinda dry like toast

It's not what I was expecting

Thank you.

All the peeps in the syndicate radio room include R.I.P.

But, no, it's still been a good night.

It's not a bad night.

We haven't had bad prank calls.

We just haven't had super prank calls.

The first one was good, though.

Richie Randall is, like, a great thing.

I got to get those to you, dude.

I'm sorry.

I know you've been looking for them all week.

Yeah.

I'll get them to you.

I promise.

It's been busy.

You're busy.

You're busy, yeah.

Yeah.

We got Homo Comics in New York.

That's funny.

That's just human.

They're probably closed now.

Oh, no.

They just got confirmed, actually.

Really?

Okay.

Okay, well, two more, then.

We'll do Disturbing the Peace in Los Angeles, California.

Right.

The shuttle bus is towed.

The shuttle bus is okay.

Because I used to work there, and they fucking had kids.

I went out with this gorgeous and took her to the...

You know, that's the only race of woman that I have not conquered yet is Asian.

Really?

I've been with black girls, white girls, Hispanic girls, European girls.

I've been with a Middle Eastern girl.

She was Egyptian, and she wasn't, like, practicing Muslim or nothing like that.

She was actually Christian.

It was really weird.

but yeah

Asian is the only one

that I haven't

hooked up with

and I guess I won't

now I'm engaged

so I guess I'm stuck

with it now

you're going to make it out

to the big final show

in Philly

in May of 2009

we're going to have

a big final

it's going to be

my bachelor party

slash

big show

that Zolar

man and everyone else

from the show

from a long time ago

is going to come

it's going to be

the last man house show

oh really

yeah we're renting out

a conference room

in a hotel

in downtown Philly

and we're all going to get together.

We're going to have some kegs and some alcohol

and we're going to be hanging out on video

doing live prank calls one last time

for the end of the madhouse.

Not this May, but the next one

at the end of May.

The last Thursday or last Friday in May

it's going to be.

So if you can make it,

I'll do it.

You can crash the wedding.

You can stay the next day.

The wedding's going to happen.

We're going to get you invited.

But yeah, it's going to be a big thing, man.

Trying to make it, rec.

all right i don't know let's sure uh man shows up now we gotta see this in both in both fists i can

just see with these big fists and just like these cell phones barely creeping out like it was like

an idea i was just like oh you're talking about doing but i turned it down okay he's like all

polite like okay the towing service called disturbing the peace in la imagine that why

would they pick disturbing the peace i don't understand isn't it a song by ludicrous or some

shit like that i think it is somebody is watching some ghetto motherfuckers probably yeah yeah we

We're actually a repo man.

Everybody's a message.

Have they been one?

Fuck.

God damn it.

Dude, there's this answer there, too.

Damn.

All right, uh,

O-Comic.

O-Comic, let's do one.

Listen to your recorded calls.

It's like 5512 Star Pound.

Place again.

Well, is it, um,

a window audition?

Are you working that again?

Exactly, window audition.

So I say we call.

What happened?

He just sat there.

Like, he, I, I guess he just wanted to,

he did the whole silent treatment thing

where he just kind of sits there like,

I send you the address.

It's in New York, New York.

Yeah.

It's a 2-1-2 number.

I thought it was...

I thought it was a comic book place at first.

Yeah, I thought it was Homo Com.

Yeah, that's what I thought, too.

I was like, oh, great.

There's going to be some fags there with these, like, TV superheroes.

Yeah, like Sean Ward.

Oh, no, I'm kidding.

Anyways, Homo Com.

I'm kidding, Sean.

We love you, Sean.

No, not gay, but wigger.

Just, yeah, no.

He's a wigger.

Sean the Wigger Ward.

All right, so I'm going to try it one more time,

see if we can get him to maybe do one other one here.

God.

A little chill tonight.

No one's aggravated.

I guess it's not a full moon or something's going on.

Is that?

Like, no one's aggravated to it.

Everyone's just, like, chill.

I know.

What is it, fucking?

No.

What is it, Christmas?

I don't know.

Yeah, why is everybody chilling?

Like, it's pretty wicked.

Let's see what the chat room.

Maybe they have...

Woody's Ice House.

What about that?

I need for...

I would need an international card.

Here's

Here's one.

We got a prank request for a guy named Frank Garrett.

Let's see.

He works for Duncan Construction.

The man gives very funny reactions.

I used to harass him on a daily basis.

He comes up with the funniest shit to say back.

Sounds funny as hell when he talks.

If you want to listen to some of my pranks of this guy,

and he gives me his YouTube,

I'm mostly known for doing soundboard prank calls,

and this guy needs to be pranked with a real person.

The guy will get ticked off over anything.

If you could please call him, that would be great.

And I got his phone number here.

The guy's name is, again, Frank Garrett.

And he lives in Stilwell.

And it's an 800 area code.

How the fuck is it an 1-800 area code?

Stilwell where?

Stilwell.

It doesn't say.

He didn't even send me a complete phone number.

Hang on.

1-800...

Okay, it's the number for the construction place that he's giving me.

Okay, it's like their business number.

I don't know.

Is he going to answer at this time, dude?

Oh, maybe it's his phone.

It's like a toll-free number, though.

I doubt it.

You know what I mean?

They put him like a...

He's there.

The star six seven, my number,

because Spooftel does not call toll-free numbers,

I don't think, do they?

No.

I don't think he can.

Ah.

I'll just star six seven and fucking...

Well, this number's about to get disconnected anyway.

I'm changing companies,

so they can trace my number.

Oh, are you?

Okay, I was going to say, dude,

I tried to prank a couple.

Yeah?

Like, people that...

I don't know what it's called.

Unlike there is a company called Sweetwater with people spoofing it or not.

Those things, yeah, Star 6-7 doesn't work for shit on toll-free lines.

They've got a different system, yeah.

The spoof card will, but I think spoof card, like, you actually can't.

It won't call a toll-free line.

I'll try it, whatever.

It's worth a try, whatever.

And if he gets it, he gets it.

Big fucking deal anyway.

All right, so you hang on.

This is the last call for Reclute here, so everyone enjoy it.

Frank Garrett.

After that, Milkman will be joining us, and we'll do more.

I'll probably take a break after this.

All right, hang on, folks.

Here we are.

One more.

It's working.

This is Frank.

Frank with a G.

Frank Garrett with Duncan Construction.

Text it to you now.

You have reached Frank Boyd's mail.

Please leave him a message so that he can call you back.

Thank you.

It's just not going to happen, but hey, we had fun still, dude.

Thanks for calling in, man.

Yeah.

Man, the call was awesome.

That's all we got to worry about.

We set the bar early.

And we just...

What bucket?

Exactly.

And then we just kind of stared at it with our dicks in our hands like, oh, look at

the bucket.

Do one bucket.

All right.

We got the numbers there.

Ice house.

Do you want to try that Woody's Ice House?

Woody's Ice House.

Where the hell is that at?

Houston.

Didn't we call that last time?

Did we?

We were called there?

No, but it's...

Yeah, we've...

Yeah, I'm sure I've called everywhere,

but it's really early there still.

Right over there in Anchorage,

it's probably like 7 p.m.

It's 6.

Did the guy answer?

I can't find it.

Which one is it?

What's the name of the spot?

Max's Beefy Burgers.

Beefy...

Okay, there we go.

Anchorage.

Okay, gotcha.

Northern Lights Boulevard.

Fuck.

That's like super-ass north.

You know what I mean?

They see the Northern Lights guy.

It's probably like dark there

for like three months at a time

And all that shit

That's gotta be

One of the worst places

Yeah

My cousin was stationed

Like super ass

North Alaska

He said like

It would get dark

And like

The sun would go down

And it wouldn't come back up

For like a month and a half

Or something like that

He said it was really creepy

Oh my god

It was in the Air Force

What it was

I think he was doing

Something with NORAD

It was like a NORAD base

Or a radar base

Like an early morning base

Or something

Yeah I was in the Air Force

Whatever

Okay

Yeah well still

You had fun right

Alright cool

Alright so here comes

Max's Beefy Burgers

Here's the song

I think everybody

Is still listening to us

You're listening to

Madhouse Radio

We are live. We're here.

Reclutes on the line doing another prank call.

In a little bit, I'll be taking over again.

I'll be doing some pranks a little later.

We're going to take a break probably soon right after this call.

Again, as I said, Milkman is going to be joining us.

We have your prank request here to take.

As long as whatever, make sure you can reach us here at Madhouse Radio.

If you're using AOL or Yahoo Instant Messenger, again, that's Madhouse Radio.

MSN Messenger is madhouseatlive.com.

Madhouseatlive.com for MSN Messenger, that is, rather.

And be sure to visit the website madhouselive.com

Where you can check out our podcast

Check out our forums

We have exclusive prank calls that are available there

And nowhere else for that matter

And we have fun

Here comes Reckless again

Boy he wants to slow he's hard to speak

Okay okay

No I'm going to put him on the phone

Yeah but we're going to write down an order

Let me get him on the line real quick

He's a good boy.

His name is Rich Hamburgers.

Yeah, I want a...

Hamburgers?

Big Hamburgers.

You ordered a cake, Hamburgers.

You guys got one for Daddy.

Then I want two for...

Tell me, buddy.

What's my son about?

You're asking my son for his credit card number.

Who are you?

He just told me that you asked...

He's not giving his credit card number to you.

Oh, Daddy.

No.

Right now, a pair of scissors from the desk.

Right now, please.

No.

Yes, get me a pair of scissors and your credit card.

Listen, Richie likes to shake, Mr.

You go get me...

will get me the scissors

right now

sir

selling my son

what is this

hello

he's got one

we're selling

it's better than

just sitting around

doing nothing

well

that last one

was kind of

that was kind of

fun

that guy's

trying to break

him

he didn't really

blow

everyone's like

tonight

yeah like you said

you know after

thanksgiving

everyone's all

full of turkey

and they're all

like

oh what is it

you can't irritate

alright hey well

thanks for calling in

man it's been fun

man yeah

actually you said

it went what day

yesterday was the

second

yeah

Yeah.

You sent it yesterday or the day before?

It's a prank.

Prank to Cahoots.

Okay, I got it.

Cool.

I'll play it soon.

Man, thanks, Reclude.

Website up or something with your pranks, man.

I'm going to make a prank EP.

This is going to be great, right?

Richie Randall character.

I've actually discussed to get a gig there.

With Richie Randall?

Richie Randall.

Richie Randall and the Randalls or something.

That's funny.

No, Richie Randall and the Richie Randalls.

Yeah, I like the way you say that.

We're going to make a demo and we're going to blame it on some lame-ass stew can't stay.

They recorded it and make it.

What a weird shit.

Shit, Richie Randall.

It's just for fun, you know.

I don't care.

I'm just going to play shows.

There you go.

Just make horrible, nasty shows and just post it online on YouTube or something like that.

Yeah, exactly.

And then we're going to go on there, like, and all the plays we make are actually going

to be tied in.

Yeah.

I'm actually really going to dress up.

Is that the tie?

Yeah, I'm going to wear something really retarded, like a members-only jacket or something.

Members-only jacket.

Hey, how you doing, guys?

I just got to go here.

Just perform very, like, inappropriate songs and stuff like that and see what happens.

That'd be great.

It's going to be so hard.

we already got to

you know what the first

song is

that I wrote

would you go

what

would you

oh shit

she rocked his world

and now he's like

meet me

do something

see you Reckless

alright cool

that was Reckless

everybody

wow Reckless was on

for like an hour

more than that

hour and a half

or some shit

this fan's on too loud

here hang on

let me get some music

playing real quick

the sky is the sound

of my fan

because I'm big and fat

and I sweat

it's not like 68 degrees

in here

that's better

alright so here we are

we're still waiting

for Milkman I think

what's going on

Milkman in

no i see baz and brandon vegas are you guys still awake over there cool cool lonesome losers sending

in tons of numbers it looks like we got an international card here all right man new news

checking in he's stating that our stats on justin.tv are pretty good so everybody who's watching us

on justin.tv for the first time welcome be sure to visit the website that's at madhouselive.com

a lot of things going on in stickham of course our home on syndicate radio.tv i understand rev's

He's got a CD and T-shirt that's coming out.

Everybody, be sure to go to Rev.com, R-E-V.com, and order your shit from him.

He says it's very good.

I didn't get the answer.

He's got this prank, man, that's like, what was it again?

It was like this guy that was eating shit live on the air.

I don't know if Brandon Vegas or Baz have ever heard that,

but Rev actually did a call once to this gay chat line,

and he told the guy to take a shit in his hand or something.

The guy actually took a shit, and he started eating his turd.

like he told him to do it the guy started like straight up like it was like this black dude

oh man the guy's like oh like you hear him like he was like dry heaving in the background while

he was eating it and they actually got off and rev rev was just like dude what the fuck

and i was like literally eating oh did you it's i only heard it when it happened live like i

literally i wasn't even i was like i had it on in the background and i was kind of just like

chilling and on the back of my ear i hear this call and i like i was like in the middle of eating

eating like a sandwich

I think it was like

something I was eating

something weird

and I literally

had to put it down

I was like

that is so disgusting

this guy ate

like his shit

like on the phone

I was jerking off

talking to Rev

oh dude

you can call it

one fool one cup

there's a knife

there you go

Rev run with that man

you can have that one on us

and again the toll free line

is now open

if you want to reach us

here tonight

that is

1-888-278-8509

we also are on the mouth

that's the mouth line

1-888-278-8509

yes sir go ahead yeah i just found out that we're gonna be going to japan this summer in july

i was thinking i'm gonna be bringing my laptop there maybe i could try to get some numbers when

i'm over there and win a show yeah kind of what milkman is doing i can try to go to the place and

yeah give you the number and check out their reaction i would like to send you to the spot

there's there's a 7-eleven over there or some coin like a corporate 7-eleven that we called once

and the receptionist like got turned on like talking to me like i was i was making insinuations

about stuff yeah i heard that recently and then there's also a restaurant where i told them that

my name was funny i told this restaurant that my name was vagina jones so and i called back in

like later on and the guy's like the lady's like mr vagina and i started cracking up right there

that was funny he just fell up he's like oh vagina mr vagina like you're calling back mr vagina like

kind of thing like oh oh dude that was good oh yeah i remember that one yeah vagina jones whatever

those japanese will say anything they really but with jap japan though it really ends up just being

me saying you know mushi mushi and like mushi mushi like back really quickly and that's about

it it doesn't really go it doesn't really go anywhere from there so so yeah so my brother-in-law

lives in yakusuka and he's pretty familiar with that neighborhood so he might know some businesses

that have some good English speakers.

Okay.

I'm going to look into that.

Hang on, let's see what this is about.

Don't scope it out.

We've got an unknown caller.

Unknown caller, go ahead.

What's up, Carlito?

Jonathan, what's going on, man?

What's going on, too?

Not much.

You're an unknown caller today.

Did you block your number

or did it just come through wrong?

It already came through.

That's wacky.

So how you been, bro?

I've been doing all right.

We're trying to have a good time here.

We know RecLubes is doing some calls here with us.

We're going to take a break here pretty soon.

We're just shooting this shit a little bit, man.

Just trying to make it happen.

Do you ever, do you buy bottled water, Jonathan?

Yes, I do.

I'll tell you what, I don't know if you've ever seen these bottle of waters or like a cylinder.

I'm holding it up to the camera right now.

I don't even know if the camera's working.

It never freaking works.

But like, it's like a cylinder of water.

It's very clear.

It's called Voss, V-O-S-S.

And it's probably like the best tasting water that I've ever had.

It's from Norway, I think, or something.

It cost me three bucks.

When I looked at it, I was like, God, it looks so refreshing and clear right now.

hmm yeah what do you drink normally what what do you do are you a soda drinker do you make a kool-aid

coffee what do you what do you do like for drink wise what's your water soda pepsi guy you ever

get upset like you know you go somewhere that only has coke instead of pepsi have you ever been

forced to like you know you like what i hate is like when i'll ask for like i'm a coke person

myself and like the waiter or waitress will go see like they'll say i'm like really snotty i'm

And I'm like, dude, what the hell?

Like, I really care, you know.

I've never stood up from a restaurant because they don't serve Pepsi or Coke

and been like, well, fuck this place, you know.

They don't have the right one, you know.

It's insane.

And when you think about why does Coke and Pepsi advertise against each other?

What reason do they have to do that?

Like, most people don't really care.

They'll just grab what's there.

There's really no reason for Coke and Pepsi to advertise, in my opinion.

Either you drink Coke or Pepsi or you don't, you know.

And even if you go to a place that doesn't have Coke,

If they say, oh, we only have Pepsi, you're not going to be like, well, fuck that shit.

No, I'm out of here, because I'm a Coke drinker.

You know what I mean?

You're going to drink the Pepsi, big deal.

You're going to drink what's available to you, aren't you?

Yeah.

Jonathan, I hate it.

You know, you call in, and I always ask you the weirdest questions, man.

Yeah.

This is a soda.

I'm drinking the new root beer.

It's actually been out for a while.

It's an exclusive premium brand, old-style draft root beer.

Okay.

It's pretty good.

Is it really?

There was, I used to go to this steakhouse, it's called Hops.

Well, it was like a brewery, like one of those places that they make their own beer.

Like inside, you know, they have steak and stuff like that, but they have their own beer.

They used to make their own root beer.

Oh, man, it was good, like fresh root beer, like made right there, right there in the restaurant.

It cost you about three bucks, but it was like, it cost you like maybe $2.50, I think.

Like a soda was like a dollar, and like for the root beer, it was like $2.50, but it was so worth it.

And it wasn't really strong flavored.

It was kind of, like, bland, but you still had that root beer, like, taste, but it tasted so fresh.

It was awesome, awesome, but really, like, I can't have it anymore because I'm diabetic and it's sugary.

They didn't have a diet version of it, but I miss, they closed that chain up, I think.

I haven't seen all the hops that I've, do you know of any hops where you live?

Have you seen any of those over there?

Uh, no.

You don't know them either?

I don't know if they were just a Florida thing or what, but all the ones around here are gone.

People in the chat room are talking about Voss.

Blitz K saying he's got a case of it sitting there.

Yeah, this is really good stuff, but yeah, it is expensive.

I'm pretty sure it's from Norway.

I'm not sure.

I thought I read Norway on here.

The writing is, like, really clear.

Yeah, it is Norway.

They couldn't make it any harder for me to read it.

Jesus Christ.

DTT says, ice mountain water.

Never heard of it.

Celebs only drink Voss.

I thought they drank Fiji water.

I thought that was a celebrity thing, was Fiji water.

I guess I'm wrong.

Shows you what I know.

Well, Hal, look at me.

I'm drinking Voss, everybody.

Check it out.

I am a celebrity.

Awesome.

Jonathan, real quick, what brand of water do you prefer?

Zephyr Hills, or what's your deal?

I like any kind of water, but I've drank Voss before.

It's pretty good.

Cool.

I like, there's an Italian one called Panna, P-A-N-N-A.

That's really good.

That's good water, too.

I recommend that one.

I'd say that's probably my favorite water is Aquapanna, but they're owned by, like,

There's that one that's, like, this is a company that owns, like, all these small little waters

that are supposedly so different from each other that they're all bottled and owned by the same company.

I forgot the name of them.

I think it's Pellegrino owns all of them or something like that.

Anyway, all right, Jonathan, now's your time to say hi to your fans and listeners

because I need to go take a piss.

I'm going to take a break here, please.

Well, I'd like to say hello to all my friends and listeners,

and I hope you all have a great weekend, and I'll see you all back next Thursday.

Awesome, Jonathan.

Peace out, bro.

It's always good talking to you, man.

All right.

See you, sir.

Jonathan, everybody.

Jonathan checking in on a weekly basis as he normally does here on Madhouse Radio.

And it's always good to have him on, of course.

Blitz K is talking about Zephyrhills.

Zephyrhills is the best.

I don't think Zephyrhills is outside of Florida, are they?

I think that's a regional one because I know Zephyrhills, Florida, is about an hour or two away from here.

That's where they bottle it out of.

I grew up here in Florida.

There's springs everywhere, like actual springs that you can go to and swim inside the springs.

you know you can go to the beach if you want but the best the place to be is the springs uh here in

florida it's not i i it's fresh water and it's coming right from the ground it's like right from

the source you're so you're basically you're swimming and like in in in filled you know in

spring water you know if you can imagine filling up your pool with uh gallons and gallons and

gallons of purified spring water or you know whatever you know you buy in a store and you

you swim in it that's what it's basically like uh you don't want to drink it because there's other

people peeing and shitting and stuff next to you but uh especially kids but uh but definitely it's

it's kind of fun and it's so freaking cold like literally it's like jumping into ice and it's

that cold i understand it's the hardest acclimation like i don't know it's hard to explain because

you're not used to in florida florida is a warm place in the middle of summer and you know it's

It's like in the 90s with humidity, it feels like 100, and there's nothing best to do.

For me, I have allergies now, and I don't own, I live in a condo,

so I don't actually have to cut the grass or anything like that.

But when I lived with my parents, I would mow the grass when I was younger.

And on a summer day, like in June or July when school's out, I'd be mowing grass and stuff,

and it was so hot.

And the best cure for that intense heat after working in the sun in the afternoon in a Florida summer

was to go down to the springs and jump in.

It's like night and day.

You feel rejuvenated when you come out.

It's a great feeling.

So I don't know if there's springs anywhere else in the country, but I don't know if there are any.

But here in Florida, the springs kick ass.

They're all over the place here.

So be sure to visit your Florida Springs, floridaparkassociation.com.

I, myself, am partial to my Brita filter that's connected to my sink in the kitchen.

That's what I fill up my stuff with.

It's a lot more economical.

I don't know if it's as good as the bottled stuff, but it's what I use.

It's good enough for me.

I don't go too crazy with the whole, oh, too much fluoride in the water.

It's going to fuck you up.

Whatever.

Just drink your water, folks.

Okay.

Anyway, so it's time for a break.

I see Milkman is nowhere.

He's not even here yet.

Sad.

I wish the milk was here, man.

This is not the same without Milkman, especially this late in the show.

It's almost midnight.

Normally, we usually actually probably end the show normally around this time, but not tonight.

We're going to give it another go.

This is the halfway point.

When we come back, we have more prank requests already sent in.

International calls.

We'll be doing some UK wake-up calls coming up next also.

That's always fun.

We've got the Happy Burger Diner.

We've got the Midget Market.

Rude Dogs.

Super Duper Video.

Jammin' Joes.

Waldo's Pizza.

Bitsy's Meats and Dum Dums.

Alright, so we've got a lot of stuff we can call

We've got a lot of places to rapid fire prank tonight

I don't know why that started replaying itself

So anyway, be sure to stay with us

Oh, we'll also be taking your calls

888-278-8509

Thank you for everybody who's listening

On our extended Madhouse Radio Network

We'll be back in about 5 minutes

So please be sure you don't go anywhere

And be sure to go to MadhouseLive.com

During the break if you'd like to

And we've also got a reclue prank call

Coming up next, a recorded one

if you couldn't get enough of Reckless tonight.

There you go.

Right back in about five minutes.

It's 11.52, 11.55 Eastern Standard Time,

PM that is, Friday's almost upon us.

Thank you.

Be back right after this.

Madhouse Radio's back.

I just got off the phone with Milkman.

He confirmed that he just walked into his hotel room,

so he'll be joining us here shortly.

We're back to do a few more prank calls

before we call it a night.

See Gangrene's checking in.

Gangrene, what's up?

up he sent in some uh waves uh wave files basically some promos for us uh yeah they look

good we're going to be using those pretty soon thanks for sending them in i'm going to be making

in some stuff that uh who's calling in here we also uh got big soul checking in telling us we're

to order vos water cool awesome new news asking for numbers uh asking for that call to that taxi

place in england uh let's get uh hollywood on here what's up man what's going on bro

Like I said

I'm just sitting at home

Not doing nothing

Or playing too unproductive

You know that's good

And stuff like that

Nothing wrong with that

That's just deliverance

Right there

That's something different

I want to see

Is a remake of

Knight Rider

I know the TV show's coming

So I'm excited about that

I'm waiting for a remake

Of the A-Team

I think it should be

A high priority

For Hollywood right now

And you're a representative

Of Hollywood of course

I'm kidding

The A-Team

And also

Short Circuit

It's about time

That we get a new

Short Circuit movie

Johnny Bive is alive

Yeah Johnny

Johnny, we need an updated Johnny Five, you know, an updated Johnny Five model,

Johnny Six, or just call him Johnny Five or whatever,

and you get yourself that guy who played Kumar in Harold of Kumar,

you get him as that, oh, God, yeah.

John Lee Miller, remember the guy, that Johnny Five voice?

Hey, seriously, what's that voice?

Yeah.

I always thought it was Dan Castellanato for some reason that did that voice.

I guess it wasn't, huh?

Mm-mm.

I must be wrong.

It's like, you know who did the voice of Gizmo, don't you?

Gizmo.

From Gremlins?

Yeah, I remember Gizmo, yeah.

Who?

Howie Mandel did that voice.

Howie Mandel.

I'm not a big fan of Howie Mandel or his voices.

Because he does, all he had for, I thought all he had was that stupid Bobby thing.

Bobby's world, yeah.

It was so annoying.

I hated that cartoon and I hated it.

I hated Bobby.

Yeah.

And he would always do it everywhere he was.

He'd be on the Stern Show doing his stupid Bobby voice the whole time, talking in the Bobby voice.

He's like, get over it.

It's not even that good of a cartoon.

But you know who had a good cartoon?

It was Louie Anderson.

Oh, that was Life with Louie?

Life with Louie.

Louie or something like that?

Yeah, I think it was Life with Louie.

He had like a goldfish that was really fat that he fed donuts and shit.

Yeah.

He was always getting...

Yeah.

His dad would fart all the time and stuff.

Yeah, that was good.

Life with Louie was a great, great cartoon.

Yeah, so...

Whatever happened to Louie Anderson, too?

I know he was doing Family Feud.

He was doing Family Feud, and then he went to a fat farm.

Did he kill himself?

No, he's still alive.

Because everybody in Family Feud ends up dying of cancer or killing themselves, right?

Yeah.

It's a curse.

Man.

Last time you knew Al Borland was doing it, right?

Or the guy who played Al?

Yeah, yeah.

Cool, cool.

From Tool Time or whatever it was.

Exactly.

Everyone always says Tool Time, but it was always, oh shit, Home Improvement.

And another show that people always said, like Married with Children,

people always either called it Love and Marriage from the song,

or they would call it Al Bundy.

Yeah, I was watching Al Bundy or I was watching Love and Marriage.

I was like, it's not loving Mary, it's Mary with children.

Sick.

All right, anyway, so let's do some prank calls.

What do you say?

Yeah.

Let's do that.

I'm going to, as we did last time, I'm going to send you a list of the last numbers that we received here.

Yeah.

And you tell me what looks best to you.

And once again, I know I've said this a thousand times here recently,

but everyone be sure to visit madhouselive.com, syndicateradio.tv.

Oh, we're also on the new PCU radio.

Make sure you check that out.

Oh, we're on this, like, Dick's Quarren Grill.

You ever heard of that?

No, never heard of that.

What's that now?

Dick's Bar and Grill, you go in there, and they are just...

Chicago?

Oh, Dick's Bar. No, I was hearing...

It may be all over on...

There's a place in...

Super, super video...

You're in Rancho Cucamonga.

Rancho Cucamonga.

There's a place in Chicago I saw once on TV, like, their story was, like, they used to work...

You know, it was a regular hot dog place that was open late at night.

And it said that people kept coming in from the bars drunk, cursing, and yelling at them and shit.

So they finally decided, you know, to yell back, and it just became a thing that people go down there,

and they curse each other out, and it's, like, accepted, you know, kind of thing.

Like they're purposely rude

Yeah

I saw that

I think I saw that

On that David Tell show

Whatever show that was

That David Tell had for a while

Insomniac

I think I saw it on that

That was a deal

Fwap is asking

Do you guys wash your hands

After you rub one out

And he says that he didn't

Well

Rub one out

You know

After you jerk it off

You know

Do we

Yes

I wash my hands

I do

I wipe it in my hair

In your hair

It's good

It's good for the hair

I remember that

Yeah

I saw that recently

Gotta love that, man.

Something like that.

Yeah, something like that.

I thought we'd do Super Duper Video.

Yeah.

So Super Duper Video.

Here we go.

We're getting off track here.

Super Duper Video in Rancho Cucamonga.

I guess that place really exists.

I thought that was a fake name.

Here we go, folks.

One moment.

Hi, who is this?

Martha, how are you doing?

This is Super Duper Video, right?

You guys have like certain sections of video, correct?

Like you have dramas and you have special ones.

I'm looking for a very specific type of...

I don't know the name of it,

but I know the genre, it's going to be like gay bestiality,

like two dogs sucking each other off.

Do you guys carry something like that?

We do have adults, but we don't carry that.

You do have adults, but you don't carry...

Do you carry any bestiality stuff?

We don't.

Maybe men having sex with trees, or...

Is that like a nature-ality or something?

I'm just looking for something outlandish.

Do you have something like that, outlandish?

No.

Well, maybe you and I could film something outlandish.

What do you think about that?

I'm kind of up to date.

We could go to the market.

Gay bestiality video.

What do you think?

I don't know.

That would be fun, don't you think?

We could find two dogs, maybe two female dogs,

put peanut butter in the back of one of them,

and have them just lick it.

What do you think?

That's okay.

Okay.

Bye-bye.

Hey, are you on Rekuka Mancha?

Is that where you guys are located at or something like that?

To place a call, press 1.

She's gone.

Bestiality video.

What do you think?

Yeah, well, that's pretty brave of you to come out for the beginning of that.

I thought she hung up for a second there.

She was kind of quiet at first.

Thought about it.

But she hung on.

Good girl.

I wonder about Rude Dogs.

That's got to be a boss week.

Yes, I do have it right here on Whitechapel Street in Manchester.

Yes, I do.

Send me that real quick.

Let me send you that here.

Here you go.

Okay, so Rachel Wise it is.

I'll dial it now, everybody.

This is the first UK call tonight.

This is a return call from last week.

Rachel Wise coming at you.

We've got a lot more numbers here.

Wow, we've got them all over the place.

So we're going to be doing a lot of pranks here in the last half.

Right.

And I promise to do some of my own prank calls here.

Not much of a pranking move, but I'm starting to get more animated.

So I'll get to it.

Hang on, Hollywood.

Hang on, everybody else.

I won't pay attention to all that.

Here.

All right, here we go.

Where's this call?

John?

Yeah, mate, is it all right?

Stan?

Keeping track of these.

What?

We're going to have to tell the police.

I'm rot around.

rings quite loud. So if people

phone me, you're going to wake up

other people in my block of flats, and

that's not going to make them happy. I'm sorry?

What I need you to do is

stop phoning me, and then

we don't have a problem, okay?

Rachel, I'm right around Whitechapel

right now, so I'll be right there in about 15 minutes,

alright? I'll look forward to it, Tracey.

Great, right, right, great, great, great. That's

wonderful. Um, do me a favour. Go on

on negligee. Negligee for me, alright?

I'll see what I can do. Awesome.

In about five minutes. Okay, bye-bye.

I'll listen to you

and I'll go to the bathroom.

Let's just go to the bathroom.

You said that there last week,

didn't you?

Yeah.

That's funny.

She's keeping a track of this.

Have you been calling her since then?

No.

You haven't?

God, I wonder what you mean

if you've been keeping a track of this.

You have to keep a laugh.

Oh, shit.

What a crazy woman.

All right, dude.

Hang on.

Let's look at the next...

Oh, you've got a list already, though,

that I sent you.

Anything...

Midget Market.

Okay.

I wonder what that's about.

Idaho Falls, Idaho.

Idaho.

Ooh, midget market.

Maybe it's just a small market or a market for small people?

No, I'm going to see if I can buy a couple dwarves.

Dwarves.

You're partial to dwarves.

Do you have dwarf day workers?

We're looking for some short Mexicans.

Yeah, they've got to crawl into some small spaces in the attic.

We've got some small crawl spaces here, you know.

Please, give us a hand.

I've got a chimney, but I need nothing.

Right it is.

Hang on, folks.

Sorry it takes so long.

Hey, what's up, my nigga?

Yo, yo, yo, man.

This is show.

Yo, I'm the show gonna holla, Mike.

I need to get some stuff, man.

I think you probably got it.

Probably have to do something in the...

I need to get about 15 midgets.

That many there working there?

You got 15 midgets working there?

Yeah.

What do you mean, hey?

Midgets.

At least 15 midgets working there, all right?

I need these guys to crawl up in this crawl space and get these dead animals shooting.

We done shot them and stole them up here.

They starting to stink, man.

I need to get these little midgets up there.

Come on, get back.

Hurry up.

Wash your hands before you get done.

Go.

Fine, whatever.

Asshole.

Him and Joe's.

You stay in the line all of a sudden

Even if you feel like it, I'll introduce you, you know

Hi, by the way, this is Christina

Hey, what's going on, Trace?

Tracy? Tracy?

This is one of those loud places, and I'm not going to sit here and start yelling and waking everybody up

Someone who we don't want to wake our friends up

Speaking of which, I'm going to call Neil Bonner

It's like a double N

Yeah, I've got a bucket of Bonners

We've also got the Willow Dean Guesthouse

The guest house and my associate are in need for two spaces, please, as soon as possible.

Make that three.

For three spaces?

Possible.

When's your next occupancy?

Tonight?

Put me down.

Me and my partner, who's on the line, have a need for a room.

We expect the utmost privacy of this location, correct?

How many beds is it?

Do we have one bed, or is it two twins, or how does it work?

Single?

You can speak up or wake up, maybe do some jumping jacks and animate yourself a little bit.

This is business on the line, business calling.

Come on, get this.

Because we have the greatest currency in the world, the U.S. dollar, and we're looking to spend it.

Boy, do we have luck.

Yes.

Sir?

Mr. Guesthouse?

Sir, no.

Don't talk.

Two.

Evo.

What's wrong tonight with these people?

Why do they not want to fuck around?

Maybe we're getting too well known and they don't want to get money.

Everyone's like, Thursday night, don't answer your phone.

And if it's someone being stupid, it's those messing around.

I'm happy to see that Milkman finally made it.

Thank you, Milkman, for not being lazy.

Ooh, something fucked up, man.

And I kept logging in, logging in, and it kept on coming up blacklisted online.

It said blacklisted server.

Really?

Well, I don't know.

It's working now.

Maybe you just had to refresh your cookies.

Okay, so do you want to call him?

No, I did.

I hit it a few times.

All right, Al.

I'm going to send Hollywood two.

You've got two different numbers here.

Or I sent it to you already.

Neil and Ernest.

Would you like one of those?

Yeah, because we're going to do like a whole James Bond thing.

They've been chosen for a mission.

Cool.

Which one in particular would you like?

Neil.

I like that.

That's a nice, strong name, Neil.

That's an astronaut's name.

You know what I mean?

Neil, Buzz.

Those are all astronaut names.

Alan.

Neil and Bob are not.

Well, Buzz.

Another press conference.

We like good things.

Everybody listen to us on Syndicate Radio,

Justin.TV,

Madhouse Radio,

PC Radio.

The Hales Radio.

Yeah.

The Mouth Radio.

98.6, The Mouth.

98.6.

Okay.

Big Neil is not going to be big at all.

So much for the astronaut.

All right.

We can try Ernest then.

How about that?

Ernesto

conmigo next

goodbye for Ernesto

the taxi company here

who made

did you hear the story

about the taxi company

that we said earlier

beginning of the show

you get a chance to read all

I did listen to some

of Jen Stewart's

calls this week though

hey my name is Jen Stewart

I'm going to be

sending food to your house

so he hangs up with them

he sends taxis

and food to their house

pizza

he doesn't fucking care

Jen's crazy

but where it's like

a hotel orgy

like a bunch of calls

he's calling

like a Red Roof Inn

I think

or Motel 6

and he's calling

all the units

telling them

that there's an orgy

and he's asking people

to come down.

I think some of the people

are like,

yeah, okay, yeah,

I'll be there.

You know,

he's like,

I'm calling the different units

and I'm letting you know

there's an orgy

going on in my room

and I'd like to know

if you'd like to come down

and everything.

That was a good one.

Yeah,

I even know that he

actually made friends

with like some of the,

like the girl

at the front counter

at one point.

Like they were actually like,

oh, hi Jen,

how you doing?

Kind of thing.

He's like,

yeah,

who do you got?

Do you got anybody

in this room?

You know,

or something, you know, and you'd put him through.

She'd put him through.

Oh, it was great.

I've got to find that one.

Yeah, just go people.

She's given arguments to the police a few times.

Yeah.

All right.

So for the pregnancy one, let me see if I can find a new English one here.

Anything else coming in from Lonesome Loser?

He's flashing.

Let's find out.

I'd say so.

We've got David Jones in Somerset.

Davy Jones.

Wasn't that a pirate?

Or was that a patriot?

Not sure.

That's that.

Now we see that one there.

Pirate, okay.

David Jones.

I'm going to call that.

Pregnancy thing.

Hopefully he's an old person.

A woman answered there, so there we go.

Drama's about to ensue.

It's like that.

When I get in, everyone says, click, be my voice.

I'm just not feeling it tonight.

I'm staying away from the pranks and letting everyone steer the ship.

That was funny.

That's awesome.

How old did he sound?

He sounded like he was only middle-aged as possible.

The woman sounded concerned, like she actually bought it.

You heard her.

The lady was like, hang on.

Okay.

Actually, okay, he wants us to go.

It was like the slave ship.

I think he's trying to say.

Here's a dick for a man.

Get him old, get him black.

Now, get him a little jacket.

He's like, oh, we got loads of them.

I'm going to drop the N-bomb again now, sir.

Drop it, you drop it.

It's not me.

The words and opinions of Hollywood Vanya are not deals of Madhouse Radio, Carlito, 98.6, The Mouth, or Syndicate Radio, or whatever.

Speaking of Pan and Black, I'm playing that song.

We're going to call it Ye Olde Village Inn in Bembridge.

I'll send you the details if you don't have them.

Oh, we got Patsy Smith here also in Somerset.

Oh, right.

And once again, I forget to call the stupid taxi company.

Yeah, this is Eagle Village.

For the love of God, remind me for the next call, taxi.

Come there.

I'm at home.

I'm going to have my son come down there and look it over.

It's not a retirement.

I need a bed.

Once a week, sir.

I won't be too much trouble.

You got plenty of booze, though, right?

The wind-up.

That's what they call it, don't they?

They call them wind-ups?

Wind-up.

You're winding me up, you bastard.

If

me.

If that's what British call pranks, wind-ups,

I need to add that on my web page.

I need to put some meta tags that say that.

I just thought about that.

Start increasing my UK.

Let me write that down.

Don't forget the tags.

Meta.

Yes, thank you.

Hey, all right.

Look, and I was going to forget.

I'm going to sit in Rachel Weisz's house.

Yeah, when?

Yeah.

Yes, and are they close at all, do you know?

Do we know?

Uh-huh.

Wind up.

Okay, that's ready to go.

All right, Nunu, confirm that.

Is that what you wankers call, prank calls, do they call them wind-ups?

I think so.

I think in certain parts they call it that.

Confirm that, please.

Thank you.

Oh, yeah, Rev's showing off his CD.

That reminds me, I've got a CD that I've been working on for, oh, like the last three

years now, and I never get to it.

You should figure that out, man.

I do, but the thing is, I don't, I can't, I'm not artistic at all.

Oh, hey, I'll do, I'll do the artwork, man.

the cover i need i need the cover to be made i'll do the i'll have to send you one of my cds man i

don't have any you know i give mine away the hollywood vanya car right well i'm gonna sell

mine for like so i'm not gonna make any money off of it's gonna be three bucks each to cover

the shipping i'm just you know the shipping and the and the actual cd itself and the and for me

printing the case and you know the cover and all that so i don't know how i'm gonna do it i'm

probably gonna print them at the king coast or something like that and cut them myself that's

what i'll probably end up doing if you send me the artwork dude i'm printing at work but i gotta

We've got to cover it.

Sweet, yeah.

I'll send it right back to you.

I've got to get it designed.

I don't know.

Tuck said he'd work on it, but, you know, Tuck, he's a comic book artist.

And, you know, when I ask him to do stuff, I feel like I'm imposing him

because that's how he makes his living like that, you know.

It's his bread and butter.

And I hate to be like, hey, you know, do this for free.

Well, see, I work in the IT industry.

Nobody on me is like, oh, my laptop's screwed up.

Can you fix it?

Yeah, I was like, ah, fuck.

Here we go again, yeah.

Gotcha, gotcha.

Only wankers call it a wind-up, Nunu confirms.

So there you go.

Milkman, did you know that?

Is Milkman around here?

You can't hear him, Hollywood, but is Milkman here?

Please tell me Milkman's able to talk and listen.

Milkman?

Good, he's here.

He is here.

All right, good, good.

All right, so the taxi company, finally, here we go.

This is Renunu, who's been waiting patiently for this.

Let me send you the information here.

Got some articles, too.

I guess you can read them up if you want to.

I'm going to send them away to you here.

I figured that out.

Okay, we're going to call the taxi company that sent the Earl, a daughter of an Earl, to the wrong village.

200 miles away from where she was supposed to be for a soccer, or as you guys call it, football.

See that picture of her?

No.

Didn't see it at all, no.

I haven't clicked on it.

No, but I'll crash.

Is it pretty good?

She's got, because British girls usually are kind of like toast, you know.

No, this one's not.

No.

She's got a push-up on.

Maybe she's got some, I don't know.

She's got some feathers in her hair, too.

Maybe she's part Indian.

Maybe she is.

She's some Native American here.

Yeah, oh that kind of Indian, okay, I thought you meant the other one, I thought you meant the other one

No, no, not the other one

Hey, this is Rachel White, I need to get a taxi please

Yeah, where from?

I'm on Whitechapel

What time do you want it for?

It's possible, I'm at 38 Whitechapel

Whitechapel Street, yes sir

You in Northampton or New York?

Yeah, which is that course, do you know?

How many pounds?

The taxi

Whitechapel Road

We haven't got a 38 Whitechapel Road in Northampton

Yes, you do.

Right here, right now.

I just need to get to the Stamford Bridge.

Come on, please.

How soon can you...

Well, where are you again?

I'm at 38 Whitechapel.

Well, whereabouts is it, then?

Where are you located at?

I'm in Northampton.

Whitechapel Road, yeah?

I'm in Whitechapel Road right now.

Yeah, where is that, then?

Is it in Woodsonfield, or is it in...

No, I just need to get to the Stamford Bridge in Yorkshire as soon as possible.

Of course you do.

I'm just swimming, yeah?

It's fine.

I need to go see you.

Let's go.

Thank you, sir.

Do you want my telly?

You want my telly?

I don't think they're going to send anybody out.

He tells her that I'm going to send anybody out.

I was going to give her Rachel's telephone number.

Yeah.

No.

Telly is a television.

Oh, a telly is a television.

Shit, we're trying to...

Right.

That's why she flipped out.

Hollywood, I...

You said you want to give them a ring.

I was about to compliment Hollywood on the good work with that.

I was about to give them a ring.

That's the bed soon.

Yeah, not yet.

Let's see what else we got here.

Hang on, let me take a look.

Let me get the music started here.

Let me make sure the line's clear.

Does anybody else want to call in?

Am I talking up?

No, you're fine.

If someone else gets a chance, don't worry.

You've got to be quick on this show, because when people call in, if you're a good pranker...

Yeah, I'm more of a father.

Yeah, especially tonight, when I'm not feeling the juice, I'm going to let the others steer the ship, and it's fine.

We're having fun, dude.

Whatever.

I've got one last number here that's come in from Lonesome.

Patsy Smith.

Yeah, I'm telling you.

Patsy is the guy that's on Spongebob.

Yeah, I don't know if you've watched Nickelodeon or Spongebob.

Is that the Ku Klux Klan-looking thing?

Is it?

Well, who's...

It's on Spongebob

His best friend

That looks like a Klansman

That's like a starfish

That's dressed like

Oh it's Patrick

Yeah that's Patrick

Is it Patrick or what is it?

Patrick yeah

Patrick

That show's weird

I saw like one episode of it

And it creeped me out

And made me feel dirty

And I took a hot shower

You said you only

Had the movie hadn't you?

No

Yeah actually you know what

No I did

I got dragged in

I got dragged in with my ex

She or her daughter was three

Not my kid

But fuck

But yeah

Dragged me into that

And like all of a sudden

David Hasselhoff was like

Like, in the water, like a freaking dolphin.

I was like, okay, weird.

I was like, I really should have been high for this,

but I didn't think it would be appropriate.

But I did get to see the trailer for Episode 3, Star Wars, whatever,

Rise, what's it called, The Fall of,

what's it called, not The Fall of the Republic, what's it called?

Revenge of the Sith.

Revenge of the Sith, that's right.

I used to be a big Star Wars fan,

and that re-release of the trilogy just ruined it.

I know there's a new movie coming out, an animated movie's coming out sometime soon.

They're doing a TV series.

Oh, yeah, there's a TV series.

Yeah, the TV series.

Yeah, the prequel.

Yeah, the Clone Wars.

Between, like, Episode 3 and 4, isn't it?

Episode 2 and 3.

Oh, that's right.

But here's the stupid thing.

Yeah, but here's the stupid thing.

Anakin Skywalker has an apprentice.

I'm like, when the fuck did he get an apprentice?

I think it's Donald Trump, isn't it?

Yeah.

Yeah, exactly.

Exactly, but how does Anakin Skywalker get an apprentice

before he's even a Jedi, technically, or something?

I don't understand it.

I don't get that.

I wrote Lucas for you.

Yeah, Lucas.

Good luck with that, Lucas.

I'm hoping for a live-action one.

Hopefully it doesn't end up burying the franchise.

It's pretty much dead after Jar Jar Binks.

Do you remember the Ewoks TV series?

Was it a series or was it made for TV movie, right?

They had a very short-running series.

I think it was like four or five episodes.

Really?

I didn't know that movie that came out.

It was like a TV movie.

blonde curly

head girl

yeah the two

kids get lost

in Endor

or something

it was like an

old guy too

or something

I thought

yeah there was

there was an

old guy too

it was the same

people in the

TV movie

that was in

the TV series

oh okay

so it was like

an extended

I guess

like a launch

vehicle

true and I've

seen the Christmas

special too

which is like

ugh

god

that's like

notorious

yeah I saw

that at a

convention once

at a comic book

convention

I watched it

I was like

wow

that was really

weird too

like there was

a dancing

female Wookie

at some point, and I was like, whoa, this is

weird. How much pot would you have to smoke

to understand that? Tell me.

Okay, so Patsy Smith, the last call of the night

apparently, because we're slowing down here.

Actually, I'm out of numbers, so, yeah. Unless you guys

send in more numbers if you want before

time's over. Um, actually, here we go. We got

Tudor taxis here also. If you

want to try that. This was in Warwick. I don't know

if it's close at all. If you want to send Rachel

a taxi again. Sure. We can try

that one. Alright. Let's try this instead. Tudor

taxi. Tudor's taxi, that is.

Tudor's, okay. Tudor's.

That was a very annoying song.

Taking that off the list right now.

Good morning, next car.

Yes, need a taxi, please.

Whitechapel, please.

Whitechapel, I'm going to the train station.

Yes, I just got a call from my mother.

I need to get to the train station very quickly.

Whitechapel, can you get me soon?

I'm ready to get to the train station.

Whitechapel Street, London?

Yes.

No, yes, yes.

London.

I've got to hurry up and get to the train station, please.

Hurry up and come get me.

I'm in Warwickshire, my love.

You need to bring a London firm.

Yeah, come get me, please.

Hurry up and come get me.

At the end of that,

I thought it was big.

It was like I just drove by or something.

Did you forget what town she was in?

You should have said Manchester

because I think Lonesome had found one that was close.

Yeah, was it really?

Where was it at?

No, it wasn't Manchester.

Yeah, it was Manchester.

I don't think Manchester was close to where he was at.

Manchester, Lancashire.

Time.

Thank you for calling, man.

Awesome.

You too, man.

I'll talk to you.

I want to say to the fans and listeners out there.

Fans and listeners.

All my fans.

All my fans and listeners out there.

Hey, guys.

You know we say hi to the dead.

Oh, the dead.

We're the dead.

Where is he?

He's resurrected soon.

Yeah, hopefully we'll talk to him soon.

All right, bro.

Take care, man.

You guys have a good one.

See you, Hollywood.

Awesome.

Hollywood.

Vagina calling in.

Oh, I did want to report.

Oh, Milkman's saying, Milkman, that what's-his-face wants to call in.

What's that one guy's name?

Glowworm.

Glowworm is out there.

Cool, cool.

Man, maybe we might have Glowworm here on the mouth soon.

I did want to mention, I got a message a few days ago, an offline message.

i woke up in the morning and sure enough it was our homeboy in iraq fighting in the army you know

who i'm talking about turd burglar he is in iraq right now he's in baghdad to be precise actually

he's in that he's actually in baghdad and he said that uh he's going to be on leave soon and he's

going to be calling in to be on the show poopy yeah turd burglar is going to be joining us and

he said he is going to make an attempt to actually join the show live from his barracks in iraq

or even do his own show.

So he's going to be doing prank calls from the Green Zone in Baghdad in Iraq

as Turd Burglar.

And he's on a conference special, which we played over the week.

That was playing on the rotation.

I heard it the other day.

It's good stuff, good stuff.

Let's take this call here.

Oh, Glow Worm, what's up, man?

Not bad.

What's Fleeta doing?

Watch out for those rabies.

She's going to have to get those injections right in her gut.

12 of them.

For tetanitis, probably.

Tetanus.

Tetanitis.

I just made some shit up

Fuck, I'm stupid

Yeah, whatever works

Whatever works

Alright, cool, cool

Did you ever get that CD?

You said you were working on a CD coming out

A few times ago that you talked to us

Anything ever occur with that?

It's a legal trouble

Really? So when you pranked?

Actually, I

I'm gonna discuss that because I'm sure

Maybe it's still under litigation or something like that to us

I don't care, they can kiss my ass

Fuck them

Alright, cool, as long as you're on parole, you're okay

I'm not even, I'm not even, I'm not even, like, on parole

You're good, well, it's cute

but I'm still

I'm getting bored now

sandwiches

Subway or just

something else

Quizno

oh dude

I'm gonna go there

tomorrow man

you guys did you

does your

does your area

I don't know

your part of Quizno

is like your

region

did they get that

oh what's that new one

that ranchero

oh that is the shit

the ranchero beef

what is it

what is it called

yeah the prime rib ranchero

prime rib ranchero

dude that is the

that is the bomb

it doesn't come with

onions does it

no it gets

poblano

poblano peppers

yeah

I had it

Yeah, it's simple, and I told a lady last Friday, I was like, hey, put some onion on that before you put it in.

She's like, okay, she did it, and she said, that's probably a good idea, she's thinking.

I was like, yeah, think that deserves onion on it.

I don't know why not, but...

It could, I mean, you can probably get whatever you want to on there.

Cool.

The cheese has like a habanero.

Yeah, it looks like kind of like a Monterey Jack-ish kind of, not Monterey Jack-ish, but it's like a pepper-ish kind of Jack-ish kind of...

Yeah, I hate it.

It's all jacked out.

Okay, cool.

Cool.

You're probably tired of those sandwiches.

You probably can't stand them anymore.

I know how that is.

I've been there for the past six months, dude, and I hate that shit now.

I bet you can't smell that shit anymore.

I work at Cinnabon.

Oh, I hate it.

Like, you know, I was in McDonald's for like a year and a half.

Yeah.

Because, you know, I'd be sneaky and, like, I'd be in the drive-thru every day.

But Cinnabon, for a week, you couldn't stand the smell or the look of stuff, you know,

like, anything like that for, like, years after that episode.

I seriously like you because I feel like some bitch.

Because I always give this, I add this, or this, or this.

It's like, wait a minute.

People with asses

People just think like

Just cause you're paying

Like you know

Five bucks for a sandwich

It gives you the right

To go and be like

Oh you need this and this

I was a burger king

This one time

This guy came back

And all huffy

And pissed off

And you know

He like cuts in front of me

In the line

Cause he's got this

Big urgent

Big fucking deal

And you know

He tells the lady

At the counter

You guys missed up my order

I said I wanted

A Whopper

Cut in half

With cheese

And no mayo

And extra cheese

And bacon

But you guys did this

And I was like

Motherfucker

You gave him like

The most complicated order

Like you need

The freaking manual

For this whopper

That he wanted created

And then you're pissed off

Because you know

The teenagers

You know

Some of them

It's probably their first job

You know

Some of them

Were probably high

Or half asleep

Because they've been

Up since like

Five, six in the morning

To catch the bus

To go to school

And I was like

Fuck man

Come on

He's like freaking out

And I was like

You know

Next time write it down

And just hand it to them

You know

So they don't mess it up

So preciously

He was like

oh you didn't you you put the reverse i said no tomato but i wanted extra mayo and no cheese but

i wanted to cut in half i was like oh my god i couldn't even follow what that was man what do you

expect i'm like where i live at and what's it like yeah is that a 229 area code huh is that the 229

area code because it's like here it's the 706 here it's still 706 i got you it's like here

where i live exactly you do the amount of effort that you see is fit to you for the amount of money

you're making.

Fuck it.

I only make $6 an hour, man.

Yeah.

Who's going to be

into doing such a good job

when you're making

$6 an hour?

Fuck that.

And we're like,

whatever.

I'm going to coast by

as much as I can.

Bullshit.

I've been doing

some side projects anyway.

I'm just telling you

to be careful, man.

Be careful.

I started stripping,

prostitution.

Prostitution.

Making crystal meth

in the bathtub, you know.

Plasma.

Looking to sell your plasma

and it's very lucrative.

I'm not selling my plasma.

Oh, please.

You don't need your plasma.

I'll probably cut off

off my dick

until there's

some Asian guy

who needs one.

You gotta freeze it

first or like

I'm not gonna freeze it.

Harden it up.

Well if you're gonna

cut it off

make sure it's you know

you have an erection

before you do that

so it looks more

impressive you know.

Shave around it too

makes it look bigger.

Anyway that's gay.

You wanna call

I got four numbers

here in Britain.

That's the last

of the numbers

that we have for the night

cause it's pretty late.

Britain.

Alright.

Britain.

I'm gonna give you

four names

you tell me

which one you like.

I've got

Catherine King

Martin King

Sandy Stewart

Martin King.

Martin King, hey.

Give me Martin King.

Ah, yes, that's right.

On the anniversary of his assassination, actually, was today.

April the 4th.

That was, wow, I don't know, 50 years ago, was it?

Was it 58?

I don't know, whatever.

It was some years ago.

Yeah, but he died, so rest in peace, Martin Luther the King.

Martin Luther the King.

That's off of Coming to America, good movie.

That needs a remake, too.

Sexual chocolate.

Sexual chocolate!

All right.

Here it comes.

Hang on, uh, uh, uh, um, everybody.

It's starting so much tonight.

Good day.

Uh, my name is Jay.

You have a booking plan?

Yes, Mr. Jay.

Now, this is in the middle of the night here.

I know, it's important, sir.

I finally tracked you down, dude.

How do you feel about the black community thinking you're dead?

I'm gonna go hit my bong and smoke some...

He gives out his phone number when you call in.

It's like 855-788.

Like, they give out the number.

That's so stupid.

Why would you do that?

Don't ask.

I wouldn't do it.

You're like, oh.

It's work.

Yeah, I don't like that.

Every time they call in,

one, one, five, two, four.

Look at that.

It's tough, dude.

Yeah, man, you want to accomplish something.

Sounds like he was awake.

He can't complain.

You want to call another one?

Yeah.

Let me tell you the three.

I'll give you your choice.

We've got, I don't know,

Catherine King.

Call that one.

Catherine King it is.

Yeah.

Warwickshire.

I don't know where Warwickshire is.

Fuck, I guess it's England.

Hang on, folks.

I don't know where it is either.

Whatever, it's fucking not America.

I don't know that much.

Who cares?

Interesting.

Nah.

Hey, how's it going?

This is Freddy.

Just now?

Yeah.

Socks?

So that's your socks over here in my house?

Sorry, this is the wrong number.

No, Catherine, not the wrong number.

You gave me me at the club.

Bunch of liars, though.

You see, that was Catherine the whole time.

Like, I was like, no, no.

Whatever.

They say now.

Now.

Now, like, ten syllables.

Not ten, but, you know.

Yeah, they do suck.

See, we got a lot of British listeners.

Let me take that back.

The opinions of Glow Worm are not those of Milkman, Carlito, or Madhouse Radio Network.

Okay, speaking of which, I got one left, if you're ready.

Lonesome Loser, not something named

Sandy Stewart

I can see that, I'm visualizing it right now

Here it comes, Sandy Stewart

That's lit enough, people

Get up at 6, man

If you get called at 6, pick up the phone and stay on

Might as well pick up

Might as well just take a shower

Get some extra time to get ready

Drink your coffee, no, drink your

Watch your Harry Potter flicks

Smoke a bowl before work, go to work high, it's Friday

Have fun, come on, fuck

Fuck.

Yeah, thanks for calling in, Glo.

Worm.

No problem, man.

Man, man, it's always good talking to you.

Keep in touch.

See you.

I'm going to get back to this.

When the CD comes out, let me know.

It'll be out.

It'll be like three days.

Triple LP, man.

Awesome.

Yeah, man.

I'd love nothing more.

All right, see you.

All right.

All right, everybody, that was...

Who was that?

No kidding.

I knew who that was.

That was DJ Glo Worm, a.k.a.

Fuck You, a.k.a.

Frida.

I forgot Frida's last name.

No, Phil, what's Frida's last name?

What's her church that she goes to?

Bellawood

Bellawood? I don't like that

Bellawood? That's not funny

Anyway, let me play some music here

Milkman we're gonna finish out here

Lots of losers, don't send any more numbers

We've got enough

I'm gonna call one last one here to

Nicholas Holmes

Actually no I can't, never mind

Milkman take us out of here please

I must go

I must retire

we're gonna take a shit

I'll pull your fingers

as soon as we get off the air

oh yes

really though I'd like to thank Mr. Ted

Ted Webb

W-W-E-E-B

Ted Webb

yeah thank you very much

my brother Ted

what

you very much.

What are you thinking?

I'm telling him why.

We're thanking Ted.

We're thanking Ted because he's...

Well, I heard music and I thought I wasn't sure that if I got leaked out and just something happened there.

But yes.

Thank you very much for providing us with the wonderful services you do there with your blacklisted server.

There's no longer blacklisted.

It's been whitelisted.

So all you people out there, please thank Mr. Ted when you see him

because he does help make Madhouse popular every week.

Thank you so much, Mr. Ted.

www.web.com

Also, I'd like to thank all of our friends for stopping in tonight.

Several callers.

Mr. Racklew joined the show tonight.

Thank you, Mr. Racklew.

And we did have some interesting calls there.

Mr. Hodney, he did have a heart attack right after the call.

Calls were placed to shop the overdose on curry, folks.

A heart attack.

Yes, George.

And he started shooting up the place.

Killed a customer, I believe.

At least winged him anyway.

Everybody cleared the store.

I took off.

Bullets were flying.

I can see any guy, George.

Yeah.

Also, I'd like to thank our other callers in there.

I believe Mr. Hollywood called in.

Thank you, Hollywood.

Nice hands you got there.

Very funny.

Very funny calls.

Also, I'd like to thank Jonathan. He didn't call me tonight. Thank you so much for not calling me. I appreciate that.

Jonathan? Jonathan called him.

Also, I'd like to thank... Well, I didn't hear it, so he didn't call me.

Oh, that's right. You were busy cruising for sex in the bathroom.

I was out on location, guys, so that's what happened.

We did actually set this prank up. I spotted this engine guy here, and I did get some footage of him.

We will have that up on the site later on. I'll get that in the car, you know.

So we'll look and find what we can have

Thanks a lot Jonathan for not calling in

Also thank you

Mr. DJ Glow Worm

Formerly known as Clock U

Or whatever that funny guy

Hey man, good to hear you sound as good as ever man

And I hope we get well soon

I'd also like to thank our friends

Over at Syndicate Radio

Thanks a lot for joining in

Hope you enjoyed as much as we did

Also our friends at Clock U

If you're still around, Justin TV

If you'd like to get involved

all definitely stay tuned right on the matter and you point to get some out also like to thank

mr munson loser one of the most important people in our children make it all possible i remember

hit man the man with the plan to attack and keep us all out of the man you guys got it easy

and it gets the cows with my friends thank you so much also all of our other friends over there

Here at the Madhouse Chat in the IRC.

Thanks a lot for joining us here.

Yeah, thanks, everybody.

I'm sure you'll be having a lot of fun with Mr. Paul.

That's right, Baz.

Friends in Vegas.

All of our good friends there.

Mr. Sir Nunu.

He's our English counterpoint there.

He is our knight in shining armor.

But it is a bit tarnished because he's really into salt these days.

Oh, God, well, fuck salt.

I'd also like to thank, especially, that's right, fuck salt.

Danny said fuck salt.

I'd like to especially thank you, our listeners.

That's right, because without you, it would never be possible.

You know why?

Because every week, we strive to provide the most interactive show possible for you to join in and share a laugh.

Because that's what we leave right here in the madhouse, sharing a laugh is what it's all about.

Tell all your friends, tell all your enemies, send your enemies numbers in if you'd like.

Send in your friends' numbers, because you know what?

We'll get them laughing, and if not, we will have a laugh on them.

Thank you so much for tuning in because you know why.

We dropped the time.

All you got to do is just give us the time.

Give us the time.

Phones were, like, busy tonight.

That's right.

Catch the disease right here every Thursday at 10 p.m.

with the Generalissimo, the leader, the militia of our manhouse,

of France, going to air.

Carlito Hermano, my big brother.

Thank you.

Thank you so much for putting us up with all of our interviews here

And take some time out of your life, you know, with all the things you've got going on in school.

I know you're running for president.

School president, yes.

He's got his own party.

He's running for SGA president.

Democratic Party in Miami.

And he also is security for AT&T.

Thank you so much, my brother, my hermano.

All right.

Thank you.

That's right.

Thank you, Milkman.

Thank you to you

Thank you Milkman

For coming in

And yeah

Everybody else

Who is joining us today

Brandon Vegas

It's an honor

It is an honor

Brandon Vegas and Baz

Are both here

Thank you guys

Thank you Milkman

Thank you Lonesome

You're ready to thank him

Everyone in Syndicate

Everyone be sure to listen

Tomorrow to Syndicate Radio

I'm assuming it's Zolar

Zolar 10pm

If not my bad

Zolar 10pm Eastern Standard Time

Tomorrow

Party Nation

Zolar Party Nation

That's right

Very good call

And Syndicate Radio.TV

Be sure to visit

of all our podcast listeners

if you're listening to us

on the podcast

over at

madhouselive.com

why don't you

give us a shot

if you get a

Thursday night free

listen to us

at 10pm

Eastern Standard Time

we're here every week

Thursdays at 10

so try to catch us

sometime

if not

everybody else

join the forums

the forums

exactly

I was about to say

everyone who's listening

join the forums

if you haven't yet

go to madhouselive.com

click on the forums link

or you can go to

madhouselive.com

forward slash

forums

and or click the

forums button on

the front page on

the menu and you'll

be taken to our

forums we have

exclusive pranks and

aren't available

anywhere else on the

website or the

podcast or anywhere

and tons of stories

and articles and

stuff like that so

be sure to check that

out and that's it

man we're out of

here I'm tired I

am wow it's 1 30

this sucks okay

folks we'll catch

you next week thank

you for listening

it was okay we

had fun and thank

you to Reckless

for calling in too

you got five

minutes

Yeah, she'll do that.

This radio is live Thursday nights at 10 p.m. Eastern.

Why don't you shut the hell up?

You fucking piece of shit!

Be sure to visit us online at madhouselive.com.

Calls (22, 1 h 7 min of 2 h 36 min)

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