2008-04-17 Show

Who the fuck is this?

Fucker, who is this?

You are listening to the House Radio Podcast.

What the fuck is this?

Everybody, House Radio is back.

It's Thursday, April the 17th.

We're here, we're ready to do a show.

With me here tonight is the assemblage of Mad Housers.

And we aim to please, please enjoy tonight's programming, prank calls, comedy, talk, whatever you want to call it, whatever it is you think we do, or whatever you want to call it.

That is what we're going to do.

Here with me tonight, I see I have Tuck.

Tuck, how you doing, man?

Yes.

Happy, happy, love, love.

Thank you, Tuck.

All right.

Also, we have Brandon Vegas in the house.

Brandon Vegas, how you doing, man?

Hey, man.

Milkman will be joining us at the half of the hour in about 20 minutes.

Meantime, we'll be shooting the shit.

You just confirmed.

Talked to him a few minutes ago.

He confirmed he's going to call at the 30.

He's going to call at 1030 Eastern.

Without a show, without Milkman, it's like, I don't know what.

like it's a big it's a big hunk of shit um lonesome loser checking in also already good

deal lonesomes in the house local lonesome loser we got technical difficulties with syndicate

apparently gear the retard screwed it all up we're not able to close out without logging out

he actually closed out without logging out and it's it's messed it up so so they're all stuck

on the old uh and the old channel but you know his you know his show is still going but he's

not hosting you know what i mean it's just kind of like a limbo so i don't know what's going to

go on put it in a black hole he did i don't know he made it a big toilet flush but literally i

don't know what the hell i don't know what the hell he did i know it's possible to do that if

you like don't log out he was doing a show and he screwed it up so we'll keep trying to get

syndicate on here this sucks i'll keep retrying in the meantime uh warrior i know you're a

representative out there and so what happens you give a special person a computer uh exit

Well, The Warrior, if you're listening, let them know, if you can, that, hey, we're trying.

I don't know.

I don't know if they're even in the chat room.

I'll keep retrying here, retrying the page and stuff.

But I don't know.

Wish us luck anyway.

So, well, you know, we'll do the best we can here.

In the meantime, you can reach us here toll-free tonight, 1-888-278-8509.

And once again, the toll-free line here is 1-888-278-8509.

That is how you reach us here tonight.

night you can also reach me on madhouse radio if you're using aol or yahoo instant messenger again

madhouse radio if you're using aol and yahoo instant messenger zolar is asking me am i on

are you on let's call zolar let's call glenn zolarski oh yeah yeah we're on you know we're

on 98 of course as always we're on 98.6 the mouth that's about that 98.6 the mouth that's right

And PCURadio.com.

That's all you really need to know.

Finnegan schminnigan.

That's what I say.

The new PCU.

This is not the old PCU from, you know, KDK days.

This is the new PCU, and it has nothing to do with that gentleman.

This is the PCU.

This is the new, this is the real PCU.

I'm going to try to get a report here from Zola.

Also, we are on our other feed over at Justin.TV.

Video feed, you can catch us right now if you want to see what I look like.

Forget about that one.

You want to see what I look like?

You can do that there.

Let me move the mic over here a little bit.

Hello?

Zolar.

Zolar Carlito, Madhouse Studios.

How you doing, sir?

Hey, what?

The stick cam room is retarded.

It's retarded.

No, I'm broadcasting on it, but I don't think Gary logged out.

He just X'd out, and it's all in that gay limbo vortex of diarrhea flush thing that happens sometimes.

You know what I'm talking about?

Yeah, see, when he ended his show before mine, he was ending his show before mine,

And, you know, the chat room continued existing, and his camera was gone.

You know what I'm trying to say?

So it's kind of stuck.

Yeah, so I keep opening mine, and it keeps opening just fine, but no one ends up in there.

So I'm going to keep trying it.

So if you can let people know, you know, in the grapevine what's going on.

All right, well, I'll keep reloading, and hopefully eventually it will pick up.

So just go to madhouselive.com.

You can hear me, and you can see me.

You know, just go to the shoutcast.

All the links are up

You can listen right on the page

My brother

Yes sir

Yes sir Zolar

Alright bro

And thank you

Take care now

That's what you should always do

Zolar

And the Zolar Party Nation

That was Zolar

I'm talking way too loud

I'm turning that mic down

Carlito

Man to man

You're too spread out

You need to centralize

No no

That's how I feel

I think you'll feel

You need to centralize

It's just a glitch

It happens

Was Zolar even able to

Could people even hear Zolar

When I was talking to him

On the air

Was he audible

Yes

I could

I don't know if the listeners could

I could on here

No, if you can hear, they get better quality than you do in the talk show and the TeamSpeak.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, I heard them great.

All right, good, good.

So we called him on the bat line.

Hopefully that resolves the stuff.

I'll keep streaming away here.

Hopefully eventually people show up.

Anyway, can someone give the Warrior the IP address of the TeamSpeak?

Do you see him there, Tuck or Brandon Vegas?

Is he in our chat room at all?

I don't see him at all.

I can't do that now on the spot.

Hang on, let me see.

I got him.

I got him here.

Anyway, so there he is.

He's showing up now.

TedWeb.net.

TedWeb.net, colon, 8-7-6-7, whatever.

Figure it out.

Okay.

Anyway, so in the news, what do we have?

Anything that I should talk about?

What's going on?

The Pope's in America?

Big deal?

The Pope's in America.

The Mormons go to court.

Something else I can't think of off the top of my head.

Okay.

I don't think much has happened at all,

So I don't know how we're going to kill, you know, 10 minutes, 13 minutes for Milkman to call in.

Let's keep looking here and see what else we can do.

A take guns to work law was passed in Florida.

Here in the state that I live in, this is great.

You're going to be allowed to take guns to work under a measure passed by Florida lawmakers yesterday.

So, you know, apparently, and the place where I work for now, when I signed a contract, when I started working with them, they had a rule.

You know, you get this big, thick manual.

and they sat me down and a few other employees who were starting at the same time

and they had this big production in the conference room

and they were saying, you know, one of our rules here is that you're not allowed to have a gun

even if it's in your car in the parking lot.

You're not supposed to bring the gun.

If we find out that you have a gun, you'll be fired, basically, if you bring a gun to work.

Even if you don't bring it into work, just leave it in your car.

So actually, now, the state of Florida...

So if you get carjacked, you've got to be a pussy.

Yeah, exactly.

So now the state of Florida

Has passed a law

It passed by a vote of 26 to 13 legislation

Which is going to be signed into law

By the Republican Governor Charlie Crist

Or Charlie Crisp as they call him here sometimes

Because he's got like tan in the can

Like artificial tan all over him all the time

Long story

But anyway apparently by law

Your employer is not going to be allowed

To keep you from bringing your gun

To work

As long as it stays in your car

and there's some there's some businesses that are exempt like you know if you work in a nuclear

power plant or if you work in a prison or a school or stuff like that you know then you're not going

to be able to you know bring your gun of course let me take a sip of my beer here with madhouse

beer over at madhousebeer.com be sure to check that out sponsor the first hour of the show so

yeah tuck how do you feel about weapons do you own any weapons yourself are you a hunter or do you

i mean i know you live in kind of a rural area where weapons are common and popular rural area

you know like a couple of like uh protection like deer rifles that are old and don't ever get used

uh as far as like uh using them and having them and gun crazy knife crazy no no um but didn't

but then again you know where i went to school back in the day when i went to school like junior

high school sixth grade whatever kids would bring knives to train or have in their back pocket for

whatever and like a bowie knife or something i mean what exactly would they bring it was normal

like big bowie knives or like a butterfly knives or those little phones start to trade you know

trade and that was the whole thing and and back sort of when i was growing up a lot of the kids

would be in the camouflage and they would be in the whole kind of thing and that was just normal

yeah see when i went to school like like like like i'm not switchblade knives but like you know

You know, the Swiss knives and stuff, people, it was just kind of, it was just an accessory.

Okay.

And no one ever worried about them using it as a weapon, or we didn't have, like, the

metal detectors, none of that bullshit.

Yeah, well, I never had that in my school either.

I mean, and we never had, like a...

No, it's a different age.

We never had a gun problem in my school, but we definitely did have our, you know, have

our share of knife problems, I suppose.

I mean, knives.

But what I'm asking is, are you a gun owner yourself?

Do you own a weapon, or is that something you keep private to yourself?

What do you want?

Put that there.

Hi, Athena.

Close that door.

Anyway, Tuck continued.

Do you own a weapon is the question.

Madhouse speculation.

We have one for protection, but, you know, never get used or practiced or anything.

So I realize I do not.

Oh, okay.

But for people on the air, yes, I have a gun.

Okay, so watch out.

Don't fuck with Tuck.

Yes, it is protected.

Don't fuck with the Tuck.

He's got a gun.

Right, yeah.

Oh, and Coach, don't you miss my daughter.

Get the shotgun out.

Be match and we come up.

Coach, make sure he is.

Brandon Vegas, what about you?

you do you own a weapon at all any sort 22s okay cool you live in vegas that's a wacky town too

something about that town this is not right man they call it sin city there's not enough water

to go around there people are kind of crazy it's like on rabies you know you got to watch out for

people like that it's kind of scary 10 22 now yeah true 10 22 now on april the 17th you know

hitler's birthday's on sunday we're thinking about doing a show on on april the 20th that's

It's this Sunday, probably in the afternoon, maybe sometime around 4 p.m.

I don't know, maybe.

I was hoping to do an official announcement tonight.

That'd be a good idea.

I'm going to make every effort I can to do a show on April 20th, this Sunday,

after a special Madhouse show.

We haven't done an afternoon show in a long time, so that would be interesting.

So, hey, be sure to check that out.

Go to the website, madhouseside.com, to get details on that.

Okay.

It's one day of fun shows to do if you can get enough people to tune in.

Right, right.

Let's see what else we can talk about here.

We're just killing some time before Milkman calls in again.

We have about seven minutes.

Hopefully he calls in on time.

He said he was going to call in at the 30, and we're holding everything for him.

So we expect him to be behaved, calling as he says he will.

That's not a funny story.

Here's one.

This one is in the, what are the Twin Cities?

Is that St. Louis, Minneapolis, St. Paul?

Are those the Twin Cities?

Okay, all right.

A charter school, a Muslim school, for five years has not flown an American flag.

And when the director of the school was asked why they don't fly the American flag,

he said, quote, frankly, I actually don't know how to work that flagpole for five years.

It has sat empty.

They have a flagpole, and they refuse to fly the American flag.

They say that they don't know how to use the flagpole.

The state law, Minnesota state law, it is definitely Minneapolis, St. Paul,

requires all public schools to fly the american flag while school's in session so apparently it's

a law they're supposed to fly the damn flag because they're a school you know an accredited

charter school and the speculation is oh is it because they're a muslim school they don't want

to fly the american flag who who's really going to believe that for five years of school nobody

in the school has known or bothered to figure out how to use the flagpole is it that hard to use a

flagpole i don't understand boy scouts know how to do that um vfw vfw retirees know how to use a

flagpole there's no excuse for that man you get the flag up there just make it freaking happen

wanted to mention also in the madhouse website over at madhouse live.com there's a madhouse wiki

in the works if you haven't checked that out we're categorizing and i tell you what it's great

i've been having fun doing this i'm going to just go gonna rapid fire through some of these topics

except we've already talked about, not talked about, that I've already worked on here.

So basically we're culminating all the knowledge of all the pranks and all the characters

and all the people that have been around Madhouse for the last three going on four years at this point.

Give me a moment here.

It's pulling up slowly, but surely this is not a good sign.

And also keep in mind we do have forums up there at the Madhouse Live website.

We have our podcast.

We've got archives of pranks, a lot of different stuff you can check out.

uh anyway uh we've got you know we've got pages on bo steen uh charlie patton is on there dr nargis

eddie garcia father mcdougan also known as father mcquarters uh i've got a page we got a bio for

jack masterson jack valente has a bio up there joe america uh we've got the manchester pub calls

explained in detail uh rotisserie wallace sam the donut man has his own page and uh even vagina

Diana Jones, who made an appearance last week.

Diana Jones, our Japanese character, is here on the Madhouse Wiki.

So be sure to check that out.

Go to the MadhouseLive.com webpage and click on the Wiki button.

Let me go ahead and attempt to restart the syndicate room again here.

Let me give him a chance.

Try to give him a fighting chance.

Meantime, speaking of VFW, I'm going to go ahead and play a prank call here.

Actually, it's a pretty old prank call.

This is me and Sean Ward when we were doing a show together over two years ago here.

He was in town.

This one is called VFW

This is the first appearance of Eddie Garcia on the show

This is it, this is Carlito and Sean Ward VFW, just a moment

Will you have a hat at a jaunty angle?

Will I have a hat on?

Yes, will you have it at a jaunty angle?

I can't hear what you said, I'm sorry

I'm asking you if you'll have your hat at a jaunty angle

She ain't what she used to be

Ain't what she used to be

gray man she ain't what she used to be okay now you guys who the hell is this why you veterans

get a bar yo yo i don't got no bar yo who is this i'm a veteran of the war too yo yo i was in iraq

yo i got kicked out okay let me know who this is yo my name is lewis man lewis lewis garcia yo

lewis garcia yo i was in the army yo in iraq i dropped the mind of my foot they kicked me out yo

yo. They said it was the fourth time. This one time I threw a grenade on accident at

this general. He died, yo. My bad. Okay, I'll be here in another five minutes and that's

all. I threw the pin and kept the grenade. I said, here, take this, cracker, and I ran

away. I said, feet don't faze me now. Okay, what are you doing? You know, I'm just here.

You don't want to get into your veteran-informed wars. Well, I'm going to be here another few

minutes and that's all. I'm going to close. And then where will you be going? Huh? And

And then where will you be going?

I'll be going home because I'm going to Stateline in the morning.

What's Stateline?

Oh, come on.

Is that the insurance place?

What?

Are you going to see your insurance broker?

Yeah.

About what?

I'm going to go see my money that I left the last time I was there.

You're going to see if he's still got it?

Uh-huh.

Stateline.

How much of it do you think you would have spent?

Okay, the old gray mirror ain't what you used to be.

Okay, what do you got?

What are you up to?

Yo, I know where your money's buried.

Yo, I got the map in Iraq.

Oh, in Iraq.

Yeah, it's under the state line.

Either talk to me the right way or I'm going to hang up.

Yo, this is how I talk, yo.

I dropped a grenade in my foot.

My voice is like this now, yo.

I don't want to hear that.

Oh, come on, yo.

Come on.

Yo, I shot 10 of my old men on accident, my bad.

So I got, you know, dishonorable discharge and stuff,

but can I go down there and dance with the old ladies and stuff, yo?

Well, there's no old ladies here.

Well, I'm going to dance with you, man.

Huh?

You let me talk to that beach.

Hey, Milkman.

Talk to what?

Hey, what's up, man?

Can you break yet?

Hurry up and call in.

All right, we're waiting on you.

All right, man.

All right, good.

Thanks.

Milkman's going to be joining us in a second.

You stay in the background, yo.

Yo, my...

Sorry?

I'm Private Garcia.

Private Garcia.

Well, tell her you're talking to Private Garcia.

Tell her I said to shut up, yo.

Well, she's sitting here with her boyfriend, and he's a lot bigger than me.

I'm not going to tell him nothing.

Well, let me talk to him, and I'll let him know.

No, that's okay.

Don't be chicken, yo.

Yo, what's his name?

Oh, come on, yo.

Yo, I'll kick his ass, yo.

Oh, come on.

Don't make me kick everybody's ass in that bar, yo.

I'd like to know who I'm talking to.

Two good points.

I got to go to the bathroom, so you want to hang up?

No, give it to the man, I said.

I command you.

In the name of the VFW.

I don't let you.

There's no.

No, I got to go to the bathroom.

You are not allowed to go to the bathroom in the name of the VFW.

It'll reach in there, can I get with you?

I got to go, so if you're coming over, fine.

That's not.

take it with you like that girl said take it with you i want to i want to hear you your business i

want to hear you i don't want you to okay i want to go pee yo let me hear you go take a pee

hey i'm not a cholo and i'm not an f.a. cholo you stupid cholo man stupid gringa man

you ain't not a stupid gringo what's wrong with the chicanos man

here's milkman just in time milkman

Hey, what's going on?

What's going on?

What happened?

Syndicate's down, unfortunately.

Yeah, well, Gary the retard messed it up, apparently.

Uh-oh.

And a boo-boo.

10, 15 minutes-ish?

Okay, cool, cool.

So everything's good with you?

You want to explain to everybody what's going on with you since you're...

Guys, right now, I've got an exchange to the west, the far west, the Los Angeles Basin area.

I'm actually working, designing a new concept madhouse special.

It's really crazy.

Everybody will be very impressed with what you have to do for that.

The classical scooter is available on and on the market.

Now, if you brought you right here, 98.6 the mile.

That's the one.

Hey, Milkman, can you help me out here?

Look, I got a problem.

Clear my cookies in Internet Explorer 7.

I never use Internet Explorer 7 except for the syndicate room.

Okay.

And I have no idea where in Internet Options and Internet Explorer 7 you go to clear cookies.

It doesn't show up.

Okay, there's icons instead of a menu.

It's actually got icons.

And then when you click on those little icons, like the little house for the home,

I think it will be for tools.

You can go actually to the control panels and click Internet Options to do it.

Browsing History, Manage Add-ons, Toolbar.

There's no Cookies button here anymore.

Why don't they just keep it where it used to be, those bastards?

I would just go do it through the Control Panel and see the normal thing.

Yeah, but I think Internet Options there is the same one that comes up in Internet Explorer 7.

It is. Crap.

It should be there where it has to be and all that sort of thing.

All right, Eric, look.

See, I got a HIDI 7.

That's why you only use Firefox.

All right, I'm in security.

All I see, I can set the security level, so that's it.

That's not it.

In general, where you...

Hang on.

See, in general, you used to have, you know, clear your history,

and at the same time you could, you know, clear your temporary files and, you know,

and your cookies and your forms, and that's not even here anymore.

Restore, reset, no, that's not it.

It's in one of those apps.

Manage it.

No, it's not because I'm actually mobile, right?

10, no.

Certificates, auto.

Feeds, pleat.

No, that's for forms.

Let's try privacy here.

Sites.

Try that one.

That's popular.

Import.

Pop-up blocker, no.

Advanced, no.

Override.

That's not it.

That's cookie handling.

Advanced.

It might be under advanced, but I can't remember.

This sucks.

How do you know?

Let me look at the chat room.

Tools.

Okay, internet options.

Delete.

Browsing history.

Oh, okay, it's under browse.

Why would they do that?

Why would they not just say cookies?

There it is.

delete cookies okay do i want to delete yes yes i do okay let's do some pranks i'm gonna have you

here we've been shooting the shit waiting for you to call in we got a ton of numbers here from

the lonesome loser everybody 98.6 with you man we're they're trying to really roll they want

this thing out before uh cookies let's try this here now okay we're gonna go okay all right we're

gonna click on go live you know straight no told me to you know that you know clearing the cookie

You should fix it

So I'm trying that

Zolar

We already talked to Zolar

Actually

Zolar got Dino on the action

That's it

Breaking news here everybody

Looks like we got it to work

I think I might have had

Some action here

Yeah

If you're listening to us

On the mouse stream

Or somewhere else

On the new PC

Whatever it may be

Try to see

If you're a regular

Syndicate user

Dino if you're listening

Right now

Give us a test

Try and see if you can

Get into the syndicate room

I don't think everybody's

trying and trying. So give me a status

here, everybody. Let me know. Because they'll be

fined if they're caught in the

wrong stream. Right.

That's true. They'll be fined.

They'll be fined. Yeah, absolutely.

You need to get out now. This second, right

now. Get out now. Do not

listen to this on Shoutcast

because you are not allowed. Dino will have

my ass. Okay, good. So we're in. The confirmation.

Alright, good. Syndicate's with us now. Alright,

good. Let me get that

stream recording here. Alright, now we can do a

show. We got the whole family. Okay.

Hey, we got Justin TV and TalkShoe online tonight.

Justin TV.

No TalkShoe, but TalkShoe's got downtime apparently, but Justin TV's up.

I got you.

Yeah, they always do.

Always do.

But at least we got the other issues handled here.

We're doing good after that.

Yes, sir.

And Dino, yes, sir.

Yes, sir, Dino, I will call you after the show.

You got it.

It might be late.

Just letting you know.

Milkman, quickly.

Craig calls you before you have to go.

We got Slim's Tavern.

All right.

Okay.

We've got Club Caesar here.

We've got McDonald's.

We've got Burger King's.

We've got Hardee's, Jack in the Box.

We've got some Denny's here, Domino's Pizzas.

We've got a casino.

We've got the White Mountain Apache Tribe Resort and Casino.

All right, let's call them.

They're in Arizona.

Again, this is the White Mountain Apache Tribe.

You guys ready for this?

Because I am.

Milkman, you ready?

Yes, sir, buddy.

Let's get them on.

All right, everybody, get ready for this.

important fun time for us here on the show we're at back in a moment that's working milkman doesn't

look like it is milkman try a different one how much time you got maybe you can have jack

masher call where's my jack masher okay here we go i got my marker here all right wow this is a

really slow slow night tonight okay lucky jay's casino this one is on winnemucca boulevard in

winnemucca nevada nunu has sent in a number let me read this here a shitty hotel in rockaway

way new jersey home of prank master a guy oh lord a guy stayed there last week who was on drugs and

he complained about midgets hiding in the curtains trying to steal his money he was actually arrested

for it you can dial through to all the rooms yourself uh warn people about midgets say you

are from the front desk and they need to keep an eye on their money and curtains confirmed okay

good all right that sounds good new just send me the number and actually send me the number itself

But I'll do it. I'll do it.

Alright, there's our man from Wanker Charity, buddy.

That's true.

It

is up. That's confirmed.

Lonesome Losers said I was supposed to dial 2 with the last number.

God damn it, I screwed that up.

Okay, we're going to call the casino.

Just a moment, folks.

Lucky J's Casino in Nevada.

Whoa.

Casino, Sue, may I help you?

Sue?

Tonight, for Simpson scale, the slots themselves, there's a radiation.

There should be someone there.

There should be someone on staff 24-7 who can summon the statuses of the slot machines.

Okay. This is news to me. I have no idea what you're talking about.

Well, the Gaming Commission said it's, you know, required.

Oh, yeah? I can't help you at this time because I really don't understand what you're asking me.

Oh, there's a...

And do you want me to go around and look at all the machines at the ratings on the back of the machines?

No, they're all the same. They all have the same rating scale.

What it's put on there by the comptroller of the Gaming Commission...

...talking about, and I'm really not sure that information is to be given out in public.

I, you know, I'm really not sure what you want.

Well, who's the head immigrant over there?

Head who?

Immigrant.

Who's an immigrant?

Well, the head immigrant should know what the rating is.

My boss?

Fantastic.

I'm not a person.

Who's the number two?

Who's the number two what?

The number two person.

Really don't think we have one?

Well, are you assuming responsibility for number two?

The cashier.

Surely there's someone above you who makes the decisions.

And she's at home.

Who's in charge?

Who's in charge, stand with your needs.

So I am going to refrain from this phone call, and I'll get, you know,

if you want to talk to somebody, you can call my boss in the morning.

And you can ask her the questions you're asking me,

because I'm not really sure what kind of information you're looking for.

Hey, ice cream again, Dan, you want to hear?

No, not really, sir.

Thank you, have a nice day.

This is a prank.

Mr. K, it's all the way.

All right, that was the first prank of the night.

Oh, man, I didn't get through.

I don't know what happened to them.

I got them moving.

Dude, what the hell is going on?

We lost Syndicate again.

Syndicate, go down so much.

What the hell is going on?

You didn't hear that call at all?

You ruined him completely.

Listen to the show.

Sent in a number for Joe Frederick.

He's in trade school with him right now.

He's very arrogant.

Looks retarded.

Trains for MMA.

No kidding.

Went to Lincoln Way High School.

Is he up for an A-class chauffeur's license now?

Yeah.

No, he's actually...

I don't know what he's doing.

I think he's in trucking school right now, but the price of diesel is too expensive.

This guy has gas, hangs out at Hooters, and he says that we need to call ASAP.

All right, well, I guess ASAP now is right now.

I guess maybe you can get in with the assistant pharmaceutical assistant.

Sounds like a plan.

Let's see what else is going on, see if anybody else is communicating with us here.

Yeah, crazy-ass Andy.

Dude, I don't know what's up with Syndicate, man.

I give up sometimes.

times. I got a feeling Dino's gonna kick us off a syndicate. Like he's saying, we need

to talk. I'm like, uh, I think the syndicate thing's about to get kicked off. We're gonna

get kicked off a syndicate. All because of my technical issues. Well, we can get up,

you know. If they break down, we gotta do that and then try them again later, you know.

I mean, we do the best we can. We do the best we can. That's all we can do, my friend.

Kuro Cage is listening for the first time in a long time. That's a long time listening

right there. Who is it? Kuro Cage. Remember Kuro Kage? We haven't heard from him in a

Yeah, man, me and Andy used to have a lot of fun.

Well, he's listening, so he heard you.

All right, let's call this number for Andy here real quick before it's too late,

because Andy said it has to be quick.

I guess it's getting late over there.

These people in crazy lives go to sleep early.

Anyway, so here we go.

Let me play another Music Machine song here.

Here we go.

We'll be right back with the next practice.

Can you stay for one more call?

I can probably do it in nine.

All right, cool.

Well, you know the drill.

Yeah.

Hang on.

text to a girl i used to see saying that ourselves is cuter power at home i want to be

and i apologize if it's you say they're big joe hey buddy remember me from lincoln yeah we went

to lincoln together high school together high school lincoln lincoln way freshman year esterson

esterson man they called used to call me tubs don't remember freshman you remember the guy

that had the pickle stuck in his ass and he had to walk like 10 feet no no i know this is some

bullshit. That's me. That's me. I'm the pickle

fucker, man.

That was fucking gay and retarded.

Sorry, Andy.

You didn't last too long.

No, no. Nunu sent in that number for that hotel.

Alright, and again, this is

a hotel where some crazy guy said

that he was on drugs,

and he said there were midges

hiding in the curtains trying to steal his money.

He got arrested in the process.

Alright, so we're going to call through. He says,

Nunu says we can call directly through to the

different rooms. Cool.

Alright, so let's go ahead and do that.

Still got you, Milkman? How long we got you? For another five minutes?

Yeah, about five.

Yeah, it's five. That's a good deal. Alright, hang on, folks.

Check. It's moved to any groove. Relax the tongue. Let my mic...

To a hotel representative...

Alright, what room note do I pick?

104?

What was the first floor?

While your college dress...

Silence.

Key silence. Not just any sound.

Hello?

Yes, this is room 104.

It says room 104.

This one's just ringing.

Try to dial it again.

Is this the front desk?

Alright, what's going on with you people in Answer the Phones over there?

I'm trying to get 104, or 114, or 112, or something like that.

Why do you sound so low, lady? Speak up.

We're gonna hang up if you don't stop.

Being silly!

17.

Ken says he's been on beer number three for an hour.

That's funny.

This Larry is fucking gay.

Who's hooping up who?

He doesn't know who's in a room or who's not, man.

All he did was call and see if anybody answered, and he just found out that they were better.

Yeah.

Oh, I hope.

Yeah, well, Nunu, you find a room over there that's occupied.

pie you tell us hey there's someone in room 108 and then we'll call that because that lady's not

having it man and uh even still it sounds really low okay anyway you gotta go down the list and

like actually didn't say no no no if you don't know anybody here that's the news he wants to

go over and just read down the list and see in what room exactly i think it's time for you to

go to your meeting on my way sounds exciting i can't wait for that all right milkman uh call

me during the weekend and i'll catch you later don't work too hard sure cool that private

that will do it's right here all right my friends everybody have a good night we love you and i

sure will wow that's very small got three kisses it's chris you gotta cut him off sometimes i hung

up on milkman that's bad right shouldn't hang up on him he's a good guy anyway continuing on with

the show we've got more numbers here we got tgi friday planet hollywood all in guam we got chuck

steakhouse coming in uh lonesome louis just to let you know if if we're gonna call guam i need

an international card you're gonna have to help me out unless someone else out there has one um

oh there's another one house of chin fei chin fee chin fei chin fei chin fei i think that's what it

is c-h-i-n space f-e how's surrender you're on the air hollywood what's going on man

here man how's your week i know man she's a kickback up yeah mine is away like i had was

really sick for a week went away and like sometimes like yesterday it felt like it was

coming back i was kind of worried it's like oh man i'm getting sick again and i boosted up on

and, you know, vitamin C and gold seal and cleaned my system out.

Felt a little better, but I still, like, it's like lingering, you know what I mean?

I might just have to induce sickness just to get it over with, you know,

maybe just take some NyQuil this weekend, you know, kind of.

Maybe I might hibernate this weekend, but I got a lot of school stuff.

I got an exam next week.

I got lab work that I'm behind.

I got quizzes that I'm behind on.

I got so much to do this weekend.

And I've got, you know, company coming in from out of town.

Oh, great.

Are they going to be there Sunday?

Yeah, they're coming in Sunday.

I've got work that's due on Tuesday.

Oh, God, it's going to be a nightmare.

I've got someone coming over Saturday over here to the studio so we can work together.

I don't know, it's just a big nightmare.

Anyway, so good to see that you're doing good.

Well, thank you.

...on tonight, despite the technical difficulties.

I think we're going to be kicked off of Syndicate Radio here pretty soon, it sounds like.

There's rumors out there that Dr. Lego's canceling us.

He's convinced Dino.

Yeah, and, you know, we've talked about this.

Everybody out there, this is a special moment here.

We want to talk about this important news.

For years here on Madhouse Radio, we've talked about the importance of Dr. Lego

and the fact that he controls us and our ability to broadcast,

and he has threatened in the past to take us off the air.

And apparently at this time, Dr. Lego is not happy with the progress that we've done,

and he is now currently advising Dino on canceling us from the air.

So the show you're listening to now may never return.

And I would ask you all please to message Dr. Lego on AIM.

His messenger name is GetInSpace.

And also email him at DrLego at gmail.com.

And please beg him, ask him to save Madhouse Radio and reconsider here,

since our contract apparently is about to be expired.

And if the contract does expire, you can always use that to mail bomb him as well.

That's right.

You can also send him offers from Nigerian businessmen or sons of heads of state.

We got that number.

That's been an inside joke I've had for years about Dr. Lego getting ready to pull the plug on us and stuff.

We love Dr. Lego here, man.

He's the man.

Lego's cool.

And I'm just kidding.

I hope we're not going to be off of Syndicate Radio.

I hope not.

I always said Syndicate, Dino runs a tight ship, and it's good people there who have a lot of fun.

I got to listen to Politics with Pedro

He did an awesome, awesome interview

On Tuesday with an army

A member of the army

Someone who was actually out

He was deployed out

He was actually going through his experiences

And all this stuff

It was a very, very good show

I had been meaning to catch that show

But due to classes

I haven't been able to listen to it on Tuesday nights

So I would recommend anybody out there

To listen to Politics with Pedro

I believe he's on at 10 Eastern

On Tuesday nights

Of course, Lego's on the following night

Some Wednesday nights

He had a pretty good show last night.

And Zoller will be on tomorrow.

I don't know.

I think Zoller starts at 9 or 10 now.

He used to start at 10 Eastern.

Zoller, confirm that for us.

What about Turd Burglar?

Is he coming back on?

Turd Burglar messaged me three weeks ago.

He said that he is deployed still in the green zone.

He is in the actual green zone.

And he said he's got a leave of absence coming at the end of the month, I think.

And he said he's going to join us at that point for a show or two.

and he said he is still working on getting a mic

so he can do a show from Iraq,

which I think is going to be cool.

He said he'll be able to do prank calls from Iraq.

That'd be cool.

I'd like to see if he can prank call, you know, prank call.

That's true, yeah.

Yeah, so please, you know.

Prank from Iraq.

Just kidding, everybody.

You know, be sure to go to pranktheworld.com.

I think that's Lego's website.

He's a man.

Lego's cool.

Be sure to listen to him on Wednesday nights.

Okay, hey, man, you want to do some pranks?

I've got...

But Loser is sending in a bunch of pizza places, Domino's, Pizza Hut.

We also had that submission from Andy here for his friend Joe.

I already tried calling him, and I kind of ruined it.

But the guy, he trains for MMA, and he went to some high school called Lincoln Way High School.

What kind of MMA is that?

It's like, I think it's that Ultimate Fighting Championship.

Oh, okay.

Something like that, you know what I mean?

Yeah.

Yeah, anyway, so I might save that for another day.

But I'm just saying, throwing it out there.

You should always call him and tell him that Hoist Crazy died.

Yeah, who the hell is that?

I don't watch any of that fighting.

I don't watch any of the MMA and UFC stuff.

It's too much like wrestling to me.

Anyway, so you've got a preference.

I'll tell you, you've got Wendy's, Denny's, Jack in the Box,

Hardee's, Arby's, Burger King, McDonald's.

Good choice, man.

Let's call, I've got a quick stop.

I guess this is a gas station in Sparta, Kentucky.

You take the first one, and I'll follow through after that.

I think I'll use my new voice.

Andy, do we get a preview, or can you explain the new voice at all?

Yeah, New Voice is basically a guy with a voice.

That works.

All right, that sounds fun.

Cool.

That's pretty well done.

All right, everybody, here we go.

Next prank call of the night coming right up, folks.

Yo, Rockton, what's up?

Yo, I'm doing an analogy, man.

I'm trying to get paid in full.

Well, check this out.

Since Norby Walters is our agency, right?

True.

Karen Lewis is our agent.

Well done.

Zakiya and Fawtham Broadway is our record company.

Indeed.

Okay, so who we rolling with, girl?

We rolling with Rush.

Our Rushtown manager.

It confirmed a little bit ago.

Looks like I fixed the phone line, at least.

This is not a recording.

This is not.

Okay, let's see here.

We got Club Caesar also here.

Came in.

Let me see what else is recent here.

Let me play some music in the background.

I see Baz is in the house also, along with Ted, Tuck, Brandon Vegas.

Hollywood Vanya is here with us as well tonight.

I haven't seen Recklood in weeks, man.

It's been like two, almost two weeks now, I think, if not more already.

Since I've seen Recklood the other day.

Thank you.

Oh, yeah, you thanked him?

You saw him online?

Oh, good.

Okay, good.

Well, tell them what's up, man.

I've been looking for them.

Meaning to let them know.

Okay, we're in the house.

Guam is an island in the Pacific, and they speak English, and they're American citizens out there.

They're not a state, but they are Americans.

I've got a Tony Roma's.

That's a rib place in Guam.

How about we go ahead and call that?

All right, here we go, folks.

Another attempt.

No, no.

Are we supposed to dance?

Once Matt, a special host of the show, went together, I remember, to the grand opening,

and we sit down, and I get a steak.

I say, I want it medium well, and I get it, and the damn thing is raw.

Oh, disgusting.

Never went back, ever.

I had a horrible experience.

It took so long.

Yeah, I know it's the grand opening, but still, you don't serve a raw steak.

I mean, come on, raw steak.

And it wasn't like I asked for rare or medium rare.

It was like medium well, and I get like this nasty piece of raw meat.

And it was perfect because the manager comes right to our table right at the time.

He's like, hey, how are you guys doing?

And we're like, we just got our food.

He's like, oh, that's good.

How's the steak looking?

you how good it is and i cut into it it's like you know raw in the middle and bloody he's like

oh man i'm so sorry let me comp that for you and i was like you know what just you know no take it

off it's already taken an hour and a half and it's you know chilies um they were out of them for a

year i would not step on the chilies because three times in a row i had bad service the last time i

went yeah i went with one other person my uh that person had a hamburger and i had like uh it was

was like pasta or something like that you know and we waited like i want to say it was like an hour

maybe maybe i'm excited it was a long time like it wasn't like i was like damn this food's taking

a long time for a burger and some pasta and when i got my food it was cold so i was like this has

been done and sitting around for probably about 20 yeah something it was cold i was like dude

you know if you're gonna serve food you know if it's gonna take you a long time to serve a meal

It better not be cold.

There's just no excuse for that.

That means it was made and it sat around.

Now, you didn't even have the decency to put it under a heat lamp to try to fool me.

You bastard.

Oh, oh, I do need to make a correction from two weeks ago.

Okay, sure, please.

I told you that Fisher Stevens was the voice of Johnny Five, and I was wrong.

He was in the movie.

Okay.

I'm Blaney.

Correct myself, but I'm wrong.

I'm

waiting for a remake of that.

They should have, the guy from Harold and Kumar should play the Indian guy.

And we need an updated version of Johnny Five.

I think that's right.

I'm looking forward to a remake.

And I think, you know, another movie that's overdue for a remake is Robocop.

Are we out of here?

I really think it's...

I don't know if they're going to do that one again, though, man.

They kind of ran that one to the ground.

Well, no, it's time to restart.

They need to restart that, you know what I mean?

Oh, shit.

We've got a request from Hola Carlito.

I know you're doing your show, and I don't mean to interrupt you.

That's fine.

No problem.

But can I have a plug for you?

Can I have a plug for you for my new show on here?

Will you do a plug for me, please?

Yeah, sure.

Yeah, whatever plug you want, man.

I'll plug it away.

You can even call in and plug away.

Yeah, go ahead and let me know.

When me and Hollywood are done, you can plug all you want, man.

We're all about the plugs.

That's a cool plug.

Remember when porno stars used to get, like, ass plugs of themselves?

They probably still do that, huh?

Yeah, I don't know if they actually have a porno music.

I've got some of the tracks, actually.

Do you?

Yeah, I do.

Yeah, I've played them quite a bit, actually.

Yeah, maybe I'll play one of those right now.

Okay, continuing on.

In Guam, more numbers.

I have a taxi.

Hafa Adai Taxi.

I'm going to take this one.

Feel free to jump in if you feel the spirit.

Gotcha.

All right, just a moment here, folks, for the next prank call of the night.

How about a taxi?

Good job.

Taxi machine as soon as possible, please.

What's that?

I'd like a taxi machine as soon as possible.

We didn't have any taxi machines.

What do you mean you don't have any taxis?

Is this a half-a-day taxi?

This is half-a-day taxi.

Okay, so I need a taxi machine to come pick me up.

Where are you at?

The airport.

The airport?

Yes.

I don't see a service over there.

No, but I don't trust these people here.

I don't trust them.

I read in 2020 on the TV that said at the Guam airport that the taxi people, some of them were imposters,

and they were taking people to the mountain, and that one person came back.

He had to cut off his own hand to get out of the handcuffs.

It was that bad, man.

So where are you located in the airport?

I just arrived.

You're in the arrival?

Yeah, I'm in this new country.

It's a beautiful country.

I'll tell you what, I've had a pina colada already.

I've got my toothbrush, like a taxi machine.

Is that taxi coming anytime soon?

I don't know.

I'm waiting.

He's arguing with me.

Sir?

Yeah?

So how long?

There's somebody arguing with you?

Almost for a space.

What's that?

How much for a taxi space?

I'm going to go to the...

There's a Sheraton down here, down the way.

That's where we're going to be going.

Yes.

Yes, me, my wife, and a Doberman Pinscher.

And we have three pieces of luggage.

Okay, so again, it's for myself, my wife, the Doberman Pinscher,

and we have three pieces of luggage.

Honey, can we have a Doberman and a taxi?

Well, that's what I'm about to get to if you'll answer my questions.

Who's that there on the background?

That's my wife.

You guys can make an exception.

I have American money.

Greatest currency in the world.

No, I'll straighten it out with the DA.

It's cool, man.

I can walk a little further away from the airport.

No one will see.

By the time we go in there, we'll take the dog.

We'll throw the dog in the front seat.

And we'll, you know, just come down.

You have the button in the front to open the trunk.

Oh, yeah, I told you.

We got the Doberman, yeah.

The dog can go in the front seat.

He's in the cage.

and his dog in a taxi at the airport here.

I saw it on 20-20, and they found him later on.

He had to eat the dog, force him to eat his own dog, into a toilet.

He took a hacksaw, cut off his hand to get out, and he escaped.

He was half naked, and he got found by a garbage man in the garbage truck.

I've got a small vehicle over here, sir.

Oh, how are you going to fit my luggage?

He came in the plane with all the luggage.

It's the same thing.

I just saw it.

Why are you arguing with me?

he's a friendly dog

he's service

alright

we don't do it

those people

they don't like dogs

those Arabs

found them dirty

no seriously

they don't

from what I understand

they're very

like in their culture

it's a very dirty animal

great one though

there was a guy

the other day

I saw

yeah I saw

he's gonna eat his dog

force him to eat his dog

like some sexual thing

like yeah

we're gonna masturbate

while you eat your dog

yeah

come over a bunch

should have gone into

more shit about that

have a dog

they're Hollywood's

so here

Bill, I got a number in England, Trevor Hope, or I have businesses in Guam.

What would you prefer?

Hope?

Trevor Steward Hope, precisely, in Yorkshire.

I've got an idea for that.

This is a residence, right?

This is a residence, a private residence sent in by a lonesome loser here.

I'd also like to announce that we have breaking news here, of course.

Our secret source, The Arm, has been communicating with me

and has reported that he has infiltrated AT&T, AT&T Wireless, that is,

and he'll soon be reporting to us with cell phone numbers to prank call of AT&T customers.

So that is breaking news here.

That's going to be coming in the next several weeks.

So we have a new source.

The arm is a very hardworking secret person.

It has never been revealed who the arm is, but I trust everybody they know who the arm is.

It's an actual person.

We call him Codename Arm, but everybody who listens to us would know who this is.

AT&T customers?

AT&T cellular customers.

customers. He's got contacts in the company, and it's going to be provided. He said, I

asked him specifically to send the most ghetto-esque of people he can get his hands on, so he definitely

said yes. This is the same source. He infiltrated the Medicare in the state of Minnesota, and

got us numbers for people over the age of 65 recently. Those are some great calls. So

again, that's a secret source to arm. We'll be coming through in the next few weeks with

some very good numbers, and we're looking forward to that.

Okay. Hollywood, if you look at your...

You got what I said to you?

Okay, you got it.

All right, cool.

All right, hang on, Tuck.

And who else is in here?

Ted's in here, Baz, Brandon Vegas, Hollywood's on the line.

And you, of course, are listening.

It is now 11.27 p.m. Eastern Standard Time.

That will make it something like 8.27 in the Pacific.

And we're coming up on Friday the 18th.

Pretty soon the unofficial start to the weekend, the last day of the work week.

We're all excited about that.

I know I am.

We'll be right back with the next prank call of the night.

This is England, Trevor Hope on 98.6, the mouse, and Nick at Radio.TV, the new PCU, and that's it.

Yes, sir.

Just one moment, please.

Thank you.

Trevor here doesn't know your name.

I just landed.

Just one moment.

Are you wanting Trevor who?

For Hope.

He didn't.

He doesn't know who you are there.

I need to speak to him.

Can you just put on the phone real quick?

One moment.

Okay.

Landed.

Coming in.

You said you'd come get me.

So you're trying to go with that, though.

Yeah, because it's leftovers.

Come on.

I don't want any English leftovers, because their food is, like, so bland as it is.

Leftovers are probably even worse.

Like, shepherd's pies and...

Left-unders.

Yeah, right.

Is there anything good that the English make at all?

I mean, what do they do?

Do they do, like, shepherd's pie?

I guess that's okay.

Did they do the...

Who originated the pie?

Is that an American thing?

Clearly.

Who came up with the pie pie?

The market.

You know that.

To me, the best pie is the 99-cent one.

The one that you get the frozen one and the frozen one.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, even Walmart, any of the grocery stores has a 9S in microwave.

It's good stuff.

And the thing is, like, I would buy, I buy the one that's supposed to be for the oven only.

It's not microwave friendly.

I take it out of the tin, and I put it right in the bowl, and I put it in the microwave.

It just works just as fine.

No problem.

No problem at all works.

Okay, the next prank call of the night here.

Here we go.

I'm going to call Circle K in Guam.

I hope they serve gasoline there.

We're about to find out.

Circle K coming up the next call of the night, everybody.

Do you want another one?

Yeah, I'll take this one.

Okay, thanks.

Circle K?

Is this the Circle K?

Pass on you, okay?

Lucky.

You're lucky I'm passing on you.

You understand?

Yes, sir.

Who's that, sir?

No, I'm saying I'm just going to pass on you.

I'm going to let this...

I'm going to let the car size...

I was asking, you have 44-ounce cups, right?

So what bra size, those big...

Bra size holds the 44-ounce cups.

I mean, you know, that's pretty big, pretty hefty.

I do like to put your drink on top of it.

You do?

It doesn't fall down, right?

Would you trust hot coffee on top of it?

would you trust would you trust hot coffee on top of it oh someone else to take i can hear me i'm

sorry about the output listen to my before you tell me you can't hear me i'm gonna take a tub

can't believe it's not this tub i'm going to add splenda as these 44 ounce 44 ounce cups there

still i got roger humphries in england in west yorkshire have we have businesses businesses in

guam ask for it we should we should try the leftover thing or or hey i got a tgi fridays

Planet Hollywood

In Guam

What time is it there?

Right now I think it's like

3.30 in the afternoon

Or 4.30

Something like that

I think it's 3 or 4.30

To be honest with you

Tomorrow actually

It's like the next day already

Yeah

Nunu says I'm sick for that comment

Hey dude

You know what?

I got my

You know whatever

It floats my boat

Melts my butter

I do it dude

I can't believe it's not butter

I can't believe it either

I can't believe a bowl is not butter

Alright hang on folks

Planet Hollywood in Guam

Coming up

Just a moment

I'm going to be the representative for Jack Masterson.

He's a famous...

Come on in, you wonderful home.

...person.

United States.

I don't know if you guys do that here.

We've been to...

I'll give you my Guam cell number.

It's 671.

This one, I don't know.

What is your name again?

Okay, Amber.

Click.

Listen, man.

I'm sorry for coming in.

Finding autographs for my new book.

How many people can you guys accommodate,

and how many people would you expect to come see me there?

Travel with my own security entourage.

Right back.

Oh.

That's because my...

That's because my agent is...

a low one

doesn't mean

he's slow

mine is just

so low tonight

did the call

alright dude

hey

that's the

prankmaster gangbang

yeah that's

the

milkman

zolar

that's the

prankmaster gangbang

definitely fun stuff

have you ever

come back

oh god

after that

oh yeah

he was around

a few days ago

I thought

someone was

telling me

he was hanging

out

he's online

now

he's on aim

he's probably

listening

I know that

kid

he's a creepy

guy

he fumbled

a nine year

old girl

he never

figured out

to go

when he was younger

he admitted to it

or like his mom

was drunk

and told Zolar

on Zolar's show

that he wasn't

that innocent

and Zolar was like

what are you talking about

I was like yeah

you know he did something

with a minor

and then he actually

admitted to it

he said he was on a raft

and he was lifting

the girl up on the raft

and he accidentally

fingered her

and then he said

that he actually

did it intentionally

and it's just

I don't know

yeah he did it on purpose

he's a sicko

he's a sicko guy

anyway alright

and man thanks for

calling in Hollywood

alright and everyone

Everyone, it's geocities.com forward slash Hollywood Vanja.

Yeah, I actually put MySpace calls from Madhouse.

Cool, so that's MySpace.

MySpace.com.

And that's V-A-N-J-A-X.

V-A-N-J-A-X.

Oh, V-A-N-J-A-X.

All right, cool.

Hey, thanks for calling in, man.

Always a honor.

Catch you next week.

Thanks, man.

Got it.

There we go.

Wow, we've been on the phone a lot tonight, man.

Losing up those minutes.

I see Sean Ward is checking in.

Hey, Sean.

Maybe Sean will join us here.

We haven't talked to him in ages, man.

That crazy Canadian guy.

Dude.

Dude guy.

guy crazy tv guy good man though good man all right so what's going on ted how you doing man

we get our first chance here to talk to you finally how you doing bro oh dwarf great awesome

good to hear i am bisexual i'm talk you're still with us baz is here also brandon vegas how are

you guys doing everybody check in check in good good good to see you all testes okay house hat

go i got my madhouselife.com hat somewhere here i'm gonna get another beer too while i'm at it

should i take a break or should i just kill the show sean's asking that we retire the show

sean's asking if we're going to retire the show yes next year sean if you're listening

mr ward new news asking for uk calls reclude is checking and also reclude here is ready to call

in as well cool i'm gonna take a break real quick though hopefully we don't lose too many people

but i gotta take a break gotta take a breather i got a charlie horse and i gotta i gotta cure it

anyway so coming up after the break we have a whole ton of numbers in the united kingdom to

a call look forward to that of course the man himself reclude will be joining us in the second

hour hopefully ellie has sent in the number for a handyman named billy be checking that out as well

we've taken your calls we've been taking your requests you can call in toll free 888-278-8509

again the toll free line here is 1-888-278-8509 uh we've got michael reynolds robert weston

raymond weston roger humphries uh we still have another circle k we haven't called it in guam

We've got Great Martin Guam, TGI Fridays, Chuck's Steakhouse, and the Red Dragon Chinese Restaurant all coming up after the break.

Be sure to hang on.

We'll be back in about five minutes.

And also be sure to visit madhouselife.com, syndicate radio.tv, and all that good stuff.

We love you all.

Well, final year of Madhouse Radio is coming up pretty soon.

We're coming up close to it.

Stay tuned for that.

Anyway, we'll be back in about five minutes.

It is now 11.49 p.m. Eastern Standard Time, 8.49 on the West Coast.

You're listening to Madhouse Radio for April 17th, 2008.

After this.

98.6.

Oh, no.

Everybody, we're back.

Madhouse Radio is back on.

Second hour, final hour of the show.

Thank you, everybody, for joining in with us.

We've got a special treat for you here, if you guys don't mind holding for a second.

We'll be right back with the man himself, Sean Ward, coming up in just a moment.

Sean Ward.

Dude, the warden.

How you been, man?

How's the cook's going and all that stuff?

What's going on?

saw you in the town

kind of stuff.

That's what we're doing.

Stuff, entertaining stuff.

Everyone, be sure to,

everyone who's listening,

And be sure to go to SeanWard.net

It is

The CDs out there

And the art

Sign up for his

Sean Ward's

What's the word newsletter

Of course

That's right

My favorite newsletter

Of the month

Always get

Damn right

I appreciate it man

Yeah

Thank you

Good deal

Sean you're

Yes sir

Sean you're a prank call legend

We don't hear much from you anymore

I was actually playing the

I don't know if you remember

The VFW prank call we did

When you were here two years ago

Over two years ago

VFW

We called

VF

Or something

And that was Eddie Garcia

Garcia, the Mexican kind of guy, and you were over here, and we laughed and laughed.

It was a good old time.

Yeah, I remember seeing you fucking in prison.

We did two shows.

We did your show on Sunday.

We did my show on that Thursday.

That night you came in, it was like, hey, welcome to Orlando.

I'll sit down here and watch me do a show kind of thing.

Remember, right when we came in.

Oh, that's right.

Well, that's what we do, man.

That's what we do?

Hell.

What the hell, huh?

Yeah, what I want, that's the bigger one, right?

Yeah, well, hey, I'm already down.

Give me a table.

I hope they can give me a table.

I'm coming down.

Well, I announced last week I'm actually going to do that.

a table, because this is going to be the last year of the show.

So, I'm going to be trying to broadcast live

from Megacon. I was there this year. Ben, it was

insane. Cool. Yeah, I mean,

there were so many people there.

That's the biggest crowd at Megacon I've ever seen.

So, just like last time, if you want to stay

here, you're more than welcome to be a guest.

You don't have to pay for hotels, man. Cool.

Let us know. Me and Athena know with enough time.

You can get great living room. You can, exactly.

Yeah, the house is...

Yeah, well, you were here when I first moved in.

I had, like, half the house was furnished.

Now, it's like an actual laid-out

condo man so he's definitely very comfortable and uh yeah i'm planning on people actually live there

yeah exactly yeah and uh tuck says he might make it you know to promote his stuff also he might

come down to orlando but i i definitely am going to be there um representing madhouse and probably

doing some live live show right from the floor so yeah man that would be awesome man if you can if

you come if you come let us know man let me know appreciate it sir yes sir hey do you want to do

it or is it about okay it has been it has been now it's a pizza theme tonight apparently so you

Do you have your choice of Domino's, Pizza Hut, or Little Caesars or Papa John's right now?

There's also a Denny's restaurant here, just to throw that at you in case you're interested.

Denny's.

We'll get up to that in a little bit.

Maybe, maybe.

All right, so Papa John's it is in Colorado.

Colorado.

Hang on, Sean, and hang on to everybody else.

A treat, as I said, Sean Ward's here with us doing a prank call.

Yeah.

Yes.

Papa John's, right?

Papa John's in Lakewood, Colorado.

Papa John's, this is Ryan.

Would you like to try our two large, two-topic pizza for $20 special today?

Fuck yeah, I want to try that special, that sounds really-

Number please?

It's, uh, two one two, five-

Well, how many toppings does a pizza come with?

Uh, two toppings.

Two on the other.

One one, two on the other.

Okay, does that gotta be the same?

Please, but I want to get-

How many toppings do you have in total?

Have you tried the one pizza that worked there?

Can you deliver one of those with the pizza?

Yeah.

What's the home phone number? Can you give me the home phone number?

I mean, at home, could-

How much do you want me to store from one cent to another house?

Pay for it, yeah.

What do you mean, pay for it? I'll pay for the pizzas.

Well, alright, yeah, I mean, uh, it's two separate orders, but yeah.

A woman.

No, sir, not that guy.

Class act.

Class act, indeed.

Yeah, you want to try that Denny's restaurant, or you got to run?

No, we'll do the Denny's, but I'm trying to think of, um, what's that?

Denny's, and it's a 24-hour, um, diner-type setting.

Right.

Think here, let me think here.

I don't know.

Serves, what, the Grand Slam breakfast, right?

It's got the Grand Slam, the All-American Slam.

They used to have the breakfast Dagwood they took, and that was really sad.

Why did you get rid of it?

Uh, I don't know.

I think it was really bad for you.

It was like a whole loaf of French bread pizza with everything breakfast-related inside of it.

Like, egg, cheese, sausage, bacon, all mish-mashed inside and, like, pressed.

Ooh, it had to be, like, it was, like, enough calories for, like, a whole week, I think, in one little thing.

In one little container.

It was really sick, yeah.

I mean, I've done the prank before.

It was funny.

What was the prank?

Well, you know, I was in my overweight character, Jack Masterson, called in saying that, you know,

he wanted a breakfast at Agwood.

He found out that they don't have it anymore.

What the hell?

He dropped out of college because of the breakfast dagwood, et cetera, et cetera.

You know.

And Jack Masterson, I don't know if you know who he is, but he's a 482-pound man.

Honestly.

And he used to weigh more than that, but he lost weight.

He's a great, great character.

You should check out some of those calls.

I bet you never go to MadHouseLive.com, Sean Ward.

I go from time to time.

I haven't been in a while, though.

Oh, go.

There's been changes to my friend.

Changes to my friend.

But anyway.

It's madhouselive.com, not madhouseradio.com.

No, Madhouse Radio, they took it from me.

No, I never got it.

I'm sitting on that.

I think it's going to come available soon.

I think that domain's about to expire.

But I heard it's, like, impossible to get a decent domain anymore after it expires.

There's, like, four companies that take them all anyway, like, automatically.

Yeah, the robots just swoop in and fucking take them all.

There's, like, an auction process, too.

And if you want to join the auction, you have to pay into it and all this.

It's not fair.

It's not fair at all.

Okay, Denny's, you ready?

Okay, this is in the state of Oregon.

Most sexual-sounding name of a state in the United States, Oregon.

Yeah.

I've just, I get...

I love the garlic butter sauce.

Just a moment, folks.

Denny's.

...a doctor to discuss with the manager tomorrow.

Hey.

Now, somebody trusted her.

Placed her faith in her.

All right, Sean, hey, thanks for calling in, bro.

Keep on rocking and rolling.

Don't be a damn stranger, man.

And I'm going to look out for that comic.

This is number nine?

The comic out.

The book, yeah.

18th one, really.

Yeah, of that last series that you saw, that got up to six, 19th one.

19th one, cool.

Awesome, man.

Looking forward to that big 20th anniversary, big special.

Fuck yeah, so I'll put the word out when that shit's going down in your newsletter.

Awesome, yep, yep.

Everybody who's listening, how many listeners you got right now?

I'm in the 50s right now.

Fuck yeah, so I want to see 50 people go SeanWard.net, S-E-A-N-W-A-R-D.

That's right, baloney.

Hey, Sean, do you have any of your old prank calls at all, like archived and stuff?

Tons?

Yeah.

Are they up on the site also?

so he's hosting them for you cool awesome awesome everybody check those out because

they're great calls all right man take care of yourself man brother man all right sean you got

any time man ideal that is sean ward everybody this is gonna suck the phone's doing that damn

noise again god i hate it when that happens definitely is making that gay noise again

there jonathan four days i think i think yeah it's two days ago drop one one escaped my mouth

not anymore bastard money's worth jonathan you like boiled peanuts jonathan sir yeah

Yeah, they're pretty.

Cajun-style ones.

Flea market here, I go to this guy, he makes boiled peanuts.

He adds beer and peppers and Cajun seasoning.

Oh, it is the best thing ever.

You get a big bag of those and just chew on those all.

They're hard.

I mean, you've got to shell them and everything.

There's a trick to get it right, you know.

Yeah.

In a second, I'm going to be discussing pizza.

Pizza places.

Of the big chains, do you prefer Domino's, Pizza Hut, Papa John's?

What do you like to eat, if you have a preference, sir?

I love Pizza Hut.

Okay, cool, cool.

I like their crust.

I agree.

Their soft crust?

Yeah, man.

When they first came out, it was a big deal.

The big commercial, Dennis Rodman and David Robinson.

I remember that.

Yeah.

Awesome.

Hey, man.

The Magic team.

I'm a big fan of the Orlando Magic.

I live in Orlando.

They're in the playoffs.

They'll be playing.

I think I might be doing a show.

They're going to be on next Thursday.

It's going to suck.

Awesome.

I'm going to miss the show.

I'm going to miss...

Well, I'll have the game here on the TV next to me.

I'll do play-by-play.

You know what I mean?

I'm a big NBA fan.

And of all the sports, I'm a bigger fan of NBA, NFL is number two.

It's just NFL, the season is short.

It's not, I don't know, NFL is like one little space of time where I can get into football.

After that, it's gone.

And it's the same, I'm not a big fan of baseball.

Too slow, very slow game.

It's like a chess game, no thank you.

And hockey is, let's face it, dead.

I'm from Florida, what am I going to watch hockey for, you know what I mean?

Jonathan, now's the time.

Go ahead and say hi to all our fans and listeners.

It's the man, Jonathan.

Jonathan, take care, brother.

I'll call y'all later.

All right, brother.

Jonathan, everybody.

Everybody, jump on!

Woo!

All right.

All right, so let me name the chains.

I'm sorry, what was that?

Yeah, we're going to be losing our NBA team here in Seattle.

It looks like the Sonics are going to move to Oklahoma City.

The Sonics are moving?

Are you kidding me?

Really?

Wow.

Yeah, probably by 2010, maybe even this summer if they can get out of their lease.

That's something.

That sucks.

Wow.

So Oklahoma City is going to get a team then, huh?

Hmm, interesting.

Interesting.

I'm trying to think, who else wants an NBA team right now?

Who else needs one?

I keep thinking, I don't understand how LA has two teams.

I don't understand.

I think the Clippers have like one little small little hardcore group, don't they?

Like that follows them and stuff, like in LA.

I just don't understand how the Clippers can survive with the Lakers being right there in LA,

also in the same town.

Whatever, it's a flabbergasted name.

It's a lot cheaper to go to the Clippers game.

Is it really?

Yeah, I guess so.

I got some friends down there that can't afford to go to the Lakers,

so they go see the Clippers.

Really?

Yeah, because sometimes you just go to see the team that they're going to play.

You know what I mean?

Get an exciting team out there.

I've been a fan of the Orlando Magic since the franchise was born in 1989.

I was a season ticket holder, Shaquille O'Neal's second season,

the first year the Magic made the playoffs.

That was 93, the 92-93 season maybe, or the 93-94 season, I don't know.

uh been a big fan of the magic as i said and i'm excited the playoffs are going to start

uh i guess on sunday so i'm looking forward to that reclude is calling in everybody let's talk

to reclude big reclude what's up bro what's going on i hear clubs and stuff like that i mean

well no thank you about the strip club yes yes sir well i caught up with it it's like the biggest

cock tease why why do people strip clubs i don't get it you said i know i get the shit for free

over here i don't fucking just saved every penny he had and the guy went to a strip club and blew

like 150 bucks that in one night went crazy like just went absolutely nuts i'm like dude you don't

this is a guy who never spent his money and barely made it as it was and he blew i'm like i'm like

you seriously you wasted 150 and i was like dude what did you get for it did you like did you bring

her home i was like no but i i think she's different i'm gonna keep going back to see her

because we had a connection and she hung out when we moved me and talked afterwards it's like

Like, you basically paid a girl $150 to hang out with you, you know, at the strip club.

All you've got to do, you know, like, I'll tell you what, I've picked numbers on this a lot.

Really? Is that possible?

Yeah, well, there's a way to do it.

We're talking a decent pace, I mean, isn't it like...

That's fucking crazy.

Awesome, dude.

I think it was probably like,

one of the stories is like the crazy guys who hang out after, you know, closing time,

waiting for the stripper to come out, you know,

and the security guard beating him up because he's so in love with her, you know.

That shit's just retarded.

I don't know.

It's so dumb.

I love you.

Yeah, kind of.

Them broads are pretty decent.

I'm bad, but...

Yeah, but they're all on something, though.

I mean, isn't it basically...

I mean, strippers are usually on coke or something else.

They do that kind of work, but they do...

Yeah.

They got...

I don't...

It doesn't matter.

I don't give a...

...studio.

Is this the guy we pranked once that worked at some karate stuff that he could...

He knew karate, that guy?

Oh, no, that was just some douchebag that...

But this is the rival studio to Reckless, our arch-rivals, okay?

No, no, it's just some dude.

Fuck.

I'm like a scumbag, and then I'm like...

Oh, the Paper Tiger Studio?

Yeah, that's cute.

So whatever Richie Randall does, I want to know about.

Yeah, we're playing show.

I just want to see, like, because I made some big calls saying I'd get my down.

A bunch of those.

I got some, like, pizza places up in here in the States, and I got some numbers in Guam.

It's tomorrow afternoon in Guam right now.

I've got a TGI.

Tomorrow afternoon.

I got a Circle K, TGI Fridays.

I got a steakhouse in Guam, Chinese restaurant.

What kind of numbers you got in England?

Are they people or?

England are all people.

People.

All people.

Um, I got a redneck woman who just answered at a gas station in Mississippi do that

This is puppies in the chat rooms. Katie keys at you. What the chair? All right, never mind

All right, I was gonna see you the info book. I'll say I get I'm on that's right. Gotcha paste

Okay, folks. Here comes the next prank of the night everybody reclude Carlito pranking work. So we got to call England then well

Fuck a really good one. Yeah, I would have been few. Oh, it's just that's what fucking needs to happen circle

Okay, I got a circle K here. You ready for that? Fuck it. I'll be the decisioner

Circle K coming up

Lost fucking syndicate again

God damn syndicate

Fucking syndicate

What the fuck is wrong with him

Fucking shit

Like you

how you guys drink girls drink you do you smoke weed? Oh, that's great. No, that's good though

I admire that either. I was just asking cuz I was gonna call the police on you if you did over in floor

Do you believe that?

I'm having a

Do you like that?

Do you like the

Like in your voice right now

Does that make you feel

Like not in Guam

So subservient

I wonder

Just

I wonder if I'm married

Christ

I'm in a fucking country dude

Fucking with

Naked

I know but you grow up

I mean

Say

That's easy

You ask

Well yeah I mean

You find her

She got some friends

You know we'll just

Flavor

You watch American Tea

With you

Like how do we do

You know what I mean

I don't need that

Just come down there

Why don't you just come down there

Circle K

And I give you my address

I show you

I'm a good guy

Alright

Thanks so much

What the fuck was that all about?

Baz in the chatroom, he's got a Filipino wife.

Says he can get me a fucking what?

In my experience, Baz, the Filipino ladies are kind of short in stature.

Short?

You don't like that short girl?

Oh, they're stout, though.

No, they're fucking using.

Oh, you manipulated.

You gotta go to Titanic.

So he has all those broads on the boat.

Okay, okay.

Girls are hot.

Yeah, exactly.

Okay.

I dig.

dig all the way

before I go on.

Working so

goddamn like

nothing.

Can you imagine?

Yes, and I'm just

saying she's probably

short and a little

wide.

Fuck, I'll tell you

what, though.

No neck.

I'm telling you,

trust me, the

broads are good.

They'll treat you

good.

They'll clean.

Dude, Asian women,

you have no fucking

clue, dude.

There's nothing

like it in America.

You wouldn't even

understand over there.

You couldn't even

comprehend.

Fucking, I couldn't.

And I went over

there, I was like,

holy shit.

Right.

It's like these

fucking broads are

real nuts.

Would you live

there, man?

Can't go to Cambodia.

Probably can't go to Australia.

No, there's not a lot anyway, dude.

People probably do some pranks where people get pissed.

Okay.

All right, cool.

I got another gas station.

I got two more gas stations here, confirmed.

I got a bowling alley also.

And then we have the people.

Bowling alley, dude.

I got a great one.

This one's Zodo's.

Zodo's.

Light's in there and shit.

I gotta look that up.

That sounds like the grateful.

Yeah, Z-O-D-O.

Z-O-D-O.

Bowling and beer.

That's right.

I posted it in the chat room.

Oh, my God.

They got a website.

They do, really?

Shit, it looks...

What's the site?

I hate to say it, but it's crazy.

I told you.

It looks like a site.

A photo game.

Zodo Bowl.

I don't watch them.

Taps Grill.

Here's on tap.

It is fun.

Summer League.

It's not like a hillbill.

It's like a really...

It looks like a texture.

It's on tap.

That's pretty good.

They got Summer League so for me now.

Look at this.

Me.

Morning for you.

Holy shit.

So Summer for me, just to let you know.

Maybe you can say you were trying to form up a league.

Thanks for everybody.

One moment here.

We're going to have a positive.

if he's a manager.

Piss on your arm.

I said,

I said to hell with it.

I left.

Sometimes my bowl.

I'm a biker.

I get a free bowl

for my trouble.

You know what I'm saying?

I'll sign pay by.

Oh my God.

Well,

what happens if the

starts going crazy?

Like nothing happened then.

You know,

ain't they got somebody

that's going to step up

that I ain't getting

no free guy.

I think y'all like rednecks.

I think that's what it is.

What?

Yeah.

Well,

like rednecks area

and anchoring for all.

I've been building up

all week over this.

I feel horrible.

I was upset.

Call me.

Freebo.

Like, freaking call center.

I always get the redneck who talks like that.

He's just ignorant to everything except for the freebie that he's looking for.

You know what I mean?

He's like, I just want...

What do you have a call center for?

What do you do?

I do tech support, but I've worked, like, in call centers, like, customer service.

Oh, God.

For, like, who?

Oh, God.

It's horrible, man.

But for who?

Oh, I worked for Bank One.

Used to be a...

They're not even in business anymore.

They got bought out by Chase.

Yeah, that's right.

They used to be around here a lot, yeah.

Yeah, I've worked for three banks that are no longer in business.

Maybe that's a sign.

Maybe I should fucking kind of look into something else.

What bank?

Bank One, what else?

Bank One, what, Marketplace Bank, and Safeway Bank also was another one, too.

Oh, man.

Yeah, they all suck, yeah.

Oh, fuck.

Business now, so who fucking cares?

Fuck them, buddy.

Fuck them in the ass.

Yeah, man, I got fucking, I probably got a,

that was a good, take one more.

Cool, you got it.

Yeah, you got one.

I've got three gas stations.

I've got people, residences in England.

And, uh...

I wonder what...

I wonder how...

Call it.

Here's why.

I have a kind of question in my head.

What's that?

I wonder how these people reacted.

Who knows?

Like, nobody's ever...

I mean, nobody that I know.

I'm sure somebody's done it.

I've never heard a...

I think it's a cowboy or something.

A fucking cowboy.

A cowboy called.

A rodeo.

I think the English understand...

NASCAR

Pretty sure they don't

Understand country music

And rednecks

And hillbillies

They probably don't

Understand either

It's just not

Out of their scope

I think you gotta

Live in America

To understand that stuff

Especially NASCAR

Yeah

God

Might be going down

There actually

For a race

No

Fucking race

Oh for a job

Yeah no

Yeah dude

Cause I

I had this thing

The other day

Where like

I've been working

Six motherfuckers

They love me

The guy who

Um

Richie Rand

Is Nashville still

The big music town

That it used to be

Would not

That's just like

The hot grossing

Yeah Larry the Campbell

Sableguy is the most paid comic of 2007.

Yeah.

This is exactly what I'm just saying.

This is like a song that you're singing it, or are you playing it?

Oh, dude, I played everything on it.

I played guitar, arranged strings, the drum beat, sang on it, fucking played bass.

I played like...

I wish I could make my living like that.

That's fun, man.

Just working in audio.

It takes time.

Now I'm just recording bullshit, but soon I'm going to be making music.

Actually, you know what?

I am starting to make a decent living, like writing songs little by little.

I'm trying to

I'm going to get up there.

That's where the money's at right now in the music industry.

A lot of, like, the big artists, they just end up just writing songs and beats and stuff like that.

So that's where the money's at now.

It is, because you get a cut right away.

Like, you don't have to wait.

If you're a...

I don't know.

So we're going to call England.

I got Roger Humphreys, or Robert

Roger Humphreys, there you go

That sounds retarded

Wes Yorkshire, Roger Humphreys

This is the last prank of the night everybody, so enjoy it

Before you kill it

Let's fuck this one up

Michael Reynolds

United States of America

I thought you guys got up early

Oh, shut up

United States of America

What's he want to know?

What? I couldn't understand you

I'm looking for a whole case. I'm exchange student. I'm going to university over there

No, that's okay. You're my wife. Well, they said they can call on my own

They might it takes a while for them to find somebody so it might be a good good time

You can up for having for so long. God

She's over there. I'm just you know, it wasn't one. He could have hung up on right away

Yeah, it was all like he was like, you know, what the fuck he says something

Woo woo woo woo

Let's get some rest

I gotta go to bed

Tired

Glenn

You mentioned that

This time

That's exactly what it is

I got no lives

Over up

Head home

Tell me

I'd like to hear

Everybody's opinion

Think of the

Yeah give it to me

The album

Post it in the forums too

You know

Just go in there

And post it or something

Well as soon as it drops

Drop in May

Like give me a website

Everything

Official thing

Looks pretty decent

Alright man

Peace out

You're bothering me

As a reclude

Alright

Reclude

I think that's a night

It is one

Something

Seventeen

Who's here still

So, Baz, Ted, Tuck, you guys still present and awake?

Hey, hey, hey.

I feel bad for Ted, man.

It's like he's never involved with the show anymore.

He comes in late, busy, and today we just had...

He's been playing Wizard.

Oh, yeah.

Wizard.

The Wizard game.

All right, guys.

Well, hey, thanks, Ted, Tuck.

He's a wizard and we sell kids to the wow.

He sells weed to the kids and wow.

Wow.

There you go.

Look at that.

Ha, ha, how ironic.

How ironic.

Alright, hey guys, thanks for being in tonight.

Appreciate it. And Brandon Vegas, who was in here earlier, too.

We thank you.

And thank you everybody who listened tonight, of course.

Lonesome Loser, thank you.

Everyone who sent in numbers, Nudu.

Ellie sent in a number.

You know, there's nothing wrong with games.

I gotta get a PlayStation 3.

He personally told me that if he had the opportunity,

he would take everyone who plays video games and put them on a boat,

send it out into the Atlantic, and sink it from afar.

Wow, Tuck, that's really messed up, man.

Why would you say something like that?

so many of our listeners are gamers

that's really fucked up dude

we're out of here folks

he's not even denying it

too late Tuck

the jig is up Tuck

everyone visit madhouselive.com

I wasn't paying attention

we learned something about you

anyway so

everyone go to madhouselive.com

and catch us here

I'm sure it was beautiful

and I'm sure it was wonderful

That's true. Hey, Tuck, I just realized

if I do that show on Sunday

afternoon... It wasn't truthful, but it was interesting.

Tuck, if I do that show on Sunday

afternoon, that's normally your time.

Would that be okay with you?

Are you going to join us? Or what's the deal?

I would join, yeah.

I don't really do a show officially

on that time anymore, but I would join.

I should be around, yeah.

Cool. That's cool.

I also want to thank everyone who called in. We had

Sean Ward on the line tonight.

night reclude um who else milkman was on the line tonight hollywood was on the line tonight

jonathan was on the line tonight very good very good uh andy was listening tonight former co-host

andy was in the house i see saigon and we lost syndicate yeah we said that guy right that's it

no more thanks no more thanks everyone's been thanked enough reclude called in yeah he just

Ms. Feldman. Catch you next week,

everybody. Peace out.

Madhouse Radio is live Thursday

nights at 10 p.m. Eastern.

Why don't you shut the hell up?

Fuck you! Fuck you fucking penis!

Be sure to visit us online at

Calls (18, 54 min of 2 h 41 min)

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