2008-04-24 Show

listen house radio podcast folks what's going on madhouse radio is back another time once again we

are back here everybody madhouse live madhouse radio carlitos madhouse uh the madhouse just

madhouse some people say i don't know whatever it is you call it that is what we are here doing

tonight we'll be making prank calls we'll be having a good time we'll be having fun we'll be

taking your calls your requests might play a little music might talk about some current events

you know usually we'll have some guest callers in tonight i'm sure as we always do a lot of

prank calls a lot of fun so be sure to visit us here tonight if you want to message me you can

solving your problems tackling the important issues here the problem solvers the problem

solvers here in madhouse live.com tuck is the leader of the problem solvers the madhouse problem

Problem solvers.

Doesn't every...

I've got the rivets key right here.

Every local news station has, like, the problem solvers or the something masters,

the solution masters or some of the solution masters.

That's us, the Madhouse Radio Solution Masters, right here at everybody,

madhouseline.com, solution masters.

All right, so good work.

Good work, everybody who's here tonight.

I'd like to thank Tuck.

What's up, man?

How you doing?

Hi, I'm doing well.

Yourself, sir?

I'm doing well.

Thank you for asking.

Of course, we have Baz in the house.

Big Baz.

What's up, Big Baz?

Hey, what's going on, man?

How you doing today?

Pretty good, man.

Thanks.

And also, we have Brandon Vegas checking in as well from the state of Nevada.

Hello, hello, hello.

Brandon Vegas, Nevada, checking in, everybody.

Sin City in the house.

And there it is.

If you want to reach us here tonight, if you're using Yahoo or AOL Instant Messenger, Madhouse

Radio is the screen name, the message.

Again, AOL and Yahoo Instant Messenger messengers use the Madhouse Radio screen name to send in your comments, requests, and things like that.

And if you're using MSN Messenger for some reason, you can message me at madhouseatlive.com.

Of course, the toll-free line will be open all night tonight.

That line is 1-888-278-8509.

Again, toll-free tonight, 1-888-278-8509.

And we'll be repeating that number several times throughout tonight's

programmation.

So don't worry if you just missed it or just look at the screen that you're

looking at.

You'll probably see it.

Yeah.

And, of course, madhouselive.com is the website.

We are on Syndicate Radio as always, syndicateradio.tv.

It's up to you guys over there.

I trust and I hope that I'm coming through just fine.

Let me take a look at that.

I see quite a few bit of people here hanging out tonight.

I got to do a better job of promoting the show for Syndicate because I kind of

slack ass with that.

But we've got a lot of people hanging out in the chat room tonight.

Over at Syndicate, of course, our Justin...

Syndicate.tv.

How's that?

Does that work?

Syndicateradio.tv is the website.

And just please go there.

That's all you've got to know.

If you do go to the Madhouse website, keep in mind we've made a...

No, Syndicate.

It's syndicateradio.tv.

I was saying it wrong.

It was bad of me.

Oh, that's okay.

It's okay.

Oh, yeah, Milkman.

That reminds me of your little gaffe right there.

Milkman will be joining us at the last half of the hour around midnight.

And Milkman will be joining us via Coconut Satellite Line.

We look forward to that, of course.

Milkman, his schedule is conflicting with his appearances on the show,

but he does remain the number two guy here in Madhouse Dumb.

And, of course, we always are excited to talk to him.

We have several news stories to talk about here tonight.

We've got, wow, they've been coming in, I tell you what.

We've got a few prank call requests that have been sent in here earlier today,

day as well as over the weekend that we didn't get to lonesome loser is hanging out in the chat

room and he's sending in numbers as well thank you lonesome loser the hardest working man in all

of grand call radio that's the milkman would say if he was here that poor fucker at the work at

nights man that would suck and he's in california there's like bad bad air there or something i

don't know there's a lot of there's a lot of methane in that air or something you know that's

what i heard something like that there's asbestos in the air in california southern california

Anybody who's out there in California can vouch for that.

We got asbestos in the air.

That's why I stay here as far away as I can.

And beautiful and safe.

Florida.

Yeah, you guys are in the desert.

Vegas.

Brandon Vegas.

You're in the desert, dude.

What do you expect?

It's like an artificial oasis.

You're playing with nature.

That's like living in an underwater city.

You know, any minute that shit could cave in.

You're screwed.

You're not meant to live in there.

It's like flying.

You're not meant to fly.

If you're in a plane and you crash, your mom told you you shouldn't fly because you're not meant to fly.

No, I'm kidding, folks.

I'm just enjoying myself tonight.

I've had a busy week.

I'm letting the numbers pick up here a little bit.

News articles to talk about.

Let's go here real quickly to one.

Have you guys heard, and this is off topic here, but one of my guilty pleasures when I'm at work and there's nothing much going on at work.

you know we've every once in a while at work my work you know the workload gets a little slow and

i get some downtime and one of my guilty pleasures is i'll go to wikipedia and i put in a random term

or random thought or a random event or something like that and i just go from there and i branch

off and i keep you know opening tabs with articles within articles within articles within articles

anyway so somehow today i got in the subject of counterfeit money and you know there are these

these things called super dollars have you heard of super dollars at all uh brandon baz or tuck

no super dollar oh man it's crazy there's just like they're getting all that more there are near

near near perfect counterfeit 100 bills apparently they are they are basically it would take an

expert i look at you an expert would have to look at it for a very long time and catch a chance of

figuring out that it's actually fake like they use all the you know all the procedures so and

they've been in circulation apparently since like 2003 this started and it's like this big thing

that's being covered up and there's some people i think it's a cia that's doing it on purpose

what they're doing is they're printing this money that's near perfect in order to pay for all their

covert operations and stuff like that and it's getting circulated around because they're spending

it eventually gets into the system or but but what people within the cia and in the bush

administration are saying it's that it's north korea is like their biggest thing they say that

north korea is create is making these fake super dollars i've got blame the country yeah or they

also blame it on a combination of russian and vietnamese gangs or i think russian and chinese

gangs or something like that like that they've so there's like these three things like i don't know

It's a gang, like the Russian Mafia and some Chinese gang, or it's North Korea, or it's the CIA themselves that are printing this near-perfect $100 bills.

I was like, wow, that's crazy.

I think they said it's one in maybe 450,000 $100 bills is actually one of those super dollars.

It's really, really weird.

They're saying that that could have effects on the economy if it starts becoming a more pronounced problem.

The dollar is now, the value of the dollar is now kind of shrinking, shrunk, sorry, from how it has been, that there will be super-euros coming up there saying that that was true.

If I was a Russian and a Korean and all that.

Is the euro counterfeited at all?

I never hear about the euro being counterfeit, ever.

I've never heard a story or anything about the euro being counterfeited or something.

Sure, of course not.

No, not yet, but it will because the value of the dollar isn't what it used to be.

Yeah, it would make sense to counterfeit the euro because the euro is a strong...

Well, I guess maybe the euro is...

It's a new thing.

I think the euro is very hard to counterfeit.

I think of...

I've never actually seen a euro, but I've seen, like, pictures of them, you know, like

detailed pictures of them online, you know.

So was a dollar bill.

No, the dollar bill's never been...

The dollar bill was...

Oh, it's been green.

And so recently the dollar has been green, just straight up green and just a portrait.

Now they're adding a little bit of peach and purple and acting like, oh, look at us.

We're going to follow those guys.

Oh, yeah, right.

But I saw fake money all the time.

Hey, that's when your husband counterfeited.

That's really?

All right, well, what's your source?

Is it Wikipedia?

If you Google counterfeiting.

Of course.

Every counterfeiting.

Interpol.com.

Oh, the main thing you need counterfeit money for.

The Interpol, okay.

You expect money for whatever.

Yeah, that would be...

Yeah, true talk.

Okay.

Well, hey, gold star for you.

Thank you very much, sir.

You're on the board already.

Congratulations.

That's counterfeit money.

If anybody was...

Well, I've been trying to be a small ass for that.

Hey, did you ever see the movie To Live and Die in L.A.?

To Live and Die in L.A.?

No, I haven't seen that movie.

What's that about?

Is it a gang movie?

It's an awesome movie about counterfeiters.

Okay.

Willem Dafoe plays this counterfeiter and the Secret Service are after him.

All right.

All right, I'll have to check that out.

Good luck.

Check it out.

Willem Dafoe's pretty cool.

I saw a counterfeit Chinese movie.

Who was counterfeiting some Chinese?

Was it Chow Yun-Fat in the movie or something?

One of those dudes.

Or Jet Li.

His uncle got killed for counterfeiting money or something.

Or he was making the plates or something weird.

Which one was that one?

I don't know.

Was that that Romeo Must Die?

Yeah, it was that one.

Maybe it was that one.

I don't know.

They all seem the same.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I don't know the name.

He's like, uncle, uncle.

and they're like i want to kill you motherfucker and your mama if you don't make these plates

for fake chinese money something weird like that i don't know i don't know which one it was

whoever gets it right gets five madhouse dollars i wanted to bring up this fact here here in the

state of florida we got a problem uh every single cause every single sports team event charity out

there in the state of florida has like their own freaking license plate vanity style license plate

Like, I can go to get my new license plates.

I can pick any of the colleges or the universities, even community colleges.

They all have their own license plate.

You can pick any of the pro teams in Florida, all the NFL teams, the Jaguars out of Jacksonville,

the Bucks out of Tampa Bay, the Dolphins in Miami, all the baseball teams.

Well, the two baseball teams, the Marlins or the Devil Rays, the Magic.

The Magic, I'm a Magic fan, who got their asses kicked tonight, which is very stupid.

They're now ahead two games to one in the opening round.

They lost by, I think, 16 or 17 tonight.

This is a team, the goddamn Magic team, had their best road record in franchise history this year.

They played better on the road than they did at home, and they got their asses handed to them on the road.

I don't understand it.

they lost but i think it was like 17 points or something they completely collapsed today

you know and lots of toronto lots of the rappers what the hell anyway so anyway so there's there's

a whole plethora of these little special plates right so here's a new one that's coming out now

i'm pissed off this one is called it's a christian license plate apparently and it's if you look at

the picture of it it's like a blue sunrise sky and it's got a cross and in the background of a cross

is like the stained glass church window

like in the back of the gold crucifix

and it says I believe

and it's like it's going to be the Christian

it's going to be the Christian license plate

they already have a pro-life one here

like an anti-abortion

the fish for the next decade

yeah

pretty soon they'll have the Jesus fish

you know

then they'll have the Darwin one

I mean they have like the save the whales

they have the save the dolphins

they have saved the panther

they have saved the mosquito

what else is next

they've got like a Jew

what happens when they want to make a Muslim one

oh you can't put the Christian

it's the same thing

why couldn't you do that

that's not fair

if you make a Christian one you've got to make a Jewish one

and you've got to make a Muslim one

and a Satanist one and an Atheist plate

what about one that has the Atheist plate

enough is enough

you know this started

started when the when the space yeah there's gonna be one when the space shuttle challenge

was gonna be those the space shuttle challenger blew up and they wanted to make this fun for the

kids of the astronauts that died this is an 85 86 i was there my school my elementary class first

grade mrs annie's class we all took a school bus trip from orlando we took it to the cape cape

cape kennedy it's about an about an hour drive and we're going to see the first teacher launched

from space and you know we're on the side of the road they have these huge parking areas for

school buses and rvs to watch the launch right from the cave you have to be back like a few

miles but it's like you're right there you feel like you know you see the show and we and we're

all we're all there we're watching like yeah the space shuttle's going up and then all of a sudden

remember this it turns into like a big ball and then these two rockets are going everywhere and

then they explode and we're all like what's going on you know like we didn't know and then they're

pretty much all right kids yeah like we stood there for five minutes and said all right kids

We're going back on the bus.

We're going back to school.

We're like, what happened?

And then on the way home, we listened on the way to the radio, to the news of what had happened.

And I remember there were some kids that were affected.

Anyway.

That's crazy.

You saw that.

When that happened, they made the license plate, the Challenger license plate.

That was the first special license plate for a fund.

Everybody was like, okay, good.

Now I think they're over 100.

100, yes, as a matter of fact, Florida drivers can order more than 100 specialty license plates.

You know what?

It's getting out of hand.

You know, I mean, I swear to God, there's one, the cops have their own, the Girl Scouts have one.

I'm not kidding.

The Boy Scouts have their own.

Enough is enough, man.

Just straight up plain Florida license plate.

That's it.

You know, enough is enough.

I see them everywhere, you know.

They got Save the Turtles.

Is that just in Florida?

I don't know.

I don't know if they do, but it's just getting out of hand.

That's enough of that.

So stop that, state of Florida.

You have my orders.

Save the Christians, Hollywood says.

Hollywood might be calling in pretty soon here.

Yeah, Eep Op says that vet plates are okay.

I'll tell you what.

We can keep the Marines have their own plate.

The Army, the Air Force, Coast Guard, they can keep theirs.

And they have the Purple Heart one.

You get the Blue Ribbon.

You got the purple heart one

I'll let you keep the purple heart

And the disabled

What is it DMV or DWV

Or whatever that is

Now you're giving

Well that's the military

And give one to the firefighters

Oh maybe

No but this is

This is out of hand

I could go and get

A Miami Heat license plate

It's a corporation

It's a corporation.

It's a money-making place.

What's next?

They're going to put Walmart.

It's going to have their own.

Walmart, Florida.

Walmart loves Florida license plate for the Save the Walmart Fund or some shit.

Let me guess.

Prisoners are making these.

Manufacturing these.

They're probably outsourced to China, man.

I wonder where the damn license plates come from.

They don't make those things.

That's a wives' tale.

They don't make license plates there.

They're all telemarketers in prison.

I saw that TV show, Oz.

I know how it works.

anyway we got a caller in the line i think yeah they're telemarketers now that that is true that

is true you call for a psychic greeting it's like yeah oh yeah hey uh what what what is your name is

how big are your breasts you know that's what you end up getting now you call for a psychic

greeting and you're the clearest on the other side well i guess you're it's lucky for you that

it's just not out of you know out of the country oh it's suck uh we've got a listener in norwegian

Okay, if someone says they're Norwegian, where are they from?

Norway or Denmark?

Norway, right?

Yeah, I knew that.

Norway.

I'm with the Norway.

Norway in the house, in the mouth.

98.6.

No.

Norway?

Yeah.

True, true.

All right, so continuing on here, we have some prank calls that we need to do.

We'll get to some more articles later, man.

People get restless after a while.

Like, Nunu in a second, he's going to be like, do prank calls.

I'll roast these old nuts.

Okay, we got Bud's Grocery.

This is coming in from Lonesome Loser.

Maybe there will be two pranks with the cat.

Yeah, and we'll get kicked out.

He's not anywhere to be seen anyway.

Anyway, Bud's Grocery.

This is a redneck girl who answered.

Tell me here in a second.

Yeah.

Tell her I'm looking for Brandy because she owes you some money.

Oh, wow.

We got an unknown call.

Present yourself.

Jonathan.

I'll be calling in first for the first time in a long time.

That song is like, take it easy.

Easy.

You know that one?

I know that one.

It's been around a long time.

Hey, man, how fast do you take those buses?

Like, how fast are you ever taking it?

Well, not on the buses.

Buses to a speed limit.

It's set to the speed limit?

Yeah, I don't know.

How fast are those school buses?

Wait a minute.

I'm asking to take it down to the road.

How is that possible?

Hang on, Tuck.

How is that possible?

Does it go past, like, 65 or something like that?

Yeah, I think it was past 65, and the bus automatically shuts off.

It shuts off?

Well, that's not good to have a shut-off going at 65 miles per hour, man.

I know.

That'd be fucked up.

What if you're trying to get away from, like, Godzilla or something?

You're screwed.

That's not safe, you know?

You know, you're driving around people on the bus.

You need to be able to escape from Godzilla attacks.

You never know when there could be a Godzilla attack.

Dude, that's crazy.

And, well, you know, you see that movie Speed, too.

What if that happened to you?

That could happen to you, man.

Yeah.

Next thing you could be driving your bus, and next thing you know,

some Keanu Reeves guy is going to crash through the window while it's moving.

And he's going to be like, I am Johnny Utah.

I am an FBI agent.

Do you remember that movie?

That movie's crazy speed.

He's like, I'm an FBI agent.

Heck yeah, I don't remember.

He's so unbelievable, even as that neo-fuck.

Jesus, God.

Oh, man.

Jonathan, Jonathan, Jonathan.

All right, man.

So, hey, do you have a special license plate?

Or do you just have like a regular Georgia license plate?

Who's Bruna once?

I'm not from Georgia.

It's just a regular license plate.

Okay.

See, whenever I see someone with a New York license plate here in Florida, I like to tailgate them.

Just for the hell of it, because I'm like, man, fuck you, this is the South.

Get out of here, Yankee.

You know what I do.

You're in the deep South, Jonathan, so you have a special hatred for the Yanks.

I know you do.

Yeah, I'm not six or seven hours away from you.

Yeah, that's not bad.

Because there are black people away from us.

We need to come and hang out.

I found this great ice cream place that has sugar-free orange sherbet.

Oh, it's good stuff.

Me and you, we'll go out.

Do you like ice cream?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

See, we'll come.

We'll have an ice cream social, you and me and Athena.

That'll be good.

We'll eat ice cream together.

Jonathan, now's your chance to say hi to your friends and listeners because we've got to

do one of the prank call things, you know what I mean?

Yeah.

I want to say hello to all my friends and listeners.

I hope you all have an excellent weekend.

All right, Grinch Machine.

Take care, my friend.

And take it easy.

Bye.

Take it easy.

Big soul.

Take it easy.

We are going to call Bud's Grocery here.

Big Soul, real quick, is mentioning,

are we going to play that KDK clip from Saturday?

The answer is no.

The KDK clip was played on our special show that we did on Sunday.

We did a 420 April 20th special show.

We had a good time.

We did some good pranks.

And actually, my first YouTube clips are up for the first time ever.

We actually got a YouTube thing going on.

Be sure to go to madhouselive.com and check that out.

Nunu.

Call that.

Nunu wanted us to have Jonathan do a prank call.

You know, I thought about it, Nunu,

but maybe you should have been on time for the show tonight, huh?

Think about that.

And then maybe I would have done it.

All right.

Bud's Grocery, everybody.

This one is in Australia.

Whoa.

Is it Australia?

No, Louisiana.

Australia after that.

Bud's Grocery.

Thank you.

Bud's Grocery, Louisiana.

Bud's Grocery.

It says,

That's what it is.

Oh, Kuatans in one.

I need to get those effects.

Got a soundboard here somewhere with him talking.

Two more rings, everybody.

Two more.

Come on, baby.

You can do it.

Suitcase number five.

Deal or no deal.

You know what I was playing last night?

The arcade version of deal or no deal.

It is mind-numbingly boring.

It's worse than watching the show.

The game show itself.

It was like deal or no deal.

I'm sure I've never really watched it all the way through yet.

I don't even want to go into it.

But anyway, I did want to note here, Wesley Snipes, three years in jail he's getting.

Three years for Wesley Snipes, man.

Nah, what do you do?

Actor Wesley Snipes was sentenced today, Thursday, to three years in prison for three misdemeanor counts of failing to fax, failing to file tax returns.

The maximum requested by federal, he got the book.

You know what's funny, dude?

I was reading today in the paper.

I was reading in the Orlando Sentinel.

Now, this is a local story because it was taking place here in Central Florida.

Woody Harrelson, Denzel Washington, and a bunch of celebrities were appealing today to the judge to be lenient on his sentence because he's a good man and he's a man of the community.

Like, Denzel Washington actually was, you know, what's his face?

Who's that guy?

Woody Harrelson, right?

You know, that one loser?

The guy from Cheers and he's a pothead and he plants pot seeds all the time to get arrested on purpose and stuff like that.

this dumb he he made this big deal he was like yeah he said he says on the set of uh white men

can't jump there was all this racial strife because i was the only white guy on the set

and he was cool he opened up to me like a brother and and and settled down to hate and i consider

him like a brother and he shouldn't be put in jail the guy didn't pay his taxes for three years

and he's fucking rich as hell and he went to nigeria to go hide yeah that's nothing to do

of racial tension

is about paying your taxes.

The guy got interviewed once.

Jackson Jackson

Martin Luther King

told you I wasn't

paying taxes either.

When the accusations

first came out

the guy got interviewed

and he said it was

a brother of his

that has the same name

or a cousin of his

with the same name

that was faking his identity.

He came up with

his big cockamamie story

and then he would

just claim ignorance about it

like oh I don't know

what you're talking about.

Then all of a sudden

he runs to Africa

like Dave Chappelle

to hide from the fact

and they get extradited over.

Dumbass.

You gotta pay your taxes.

I gotta pay my taxes.

you rich son of a bitch pay your taxes don't call your rich fucking friends and talk to the judge

like they're your mom and dad to get you off the hook get those three years and maybe learn a lesson

pay your taxes next time wesley snipes what have you done lately anyway blade please you talented

bitch anyway the next prank call is coming up we're going to call bo jangle saloon this isn't

oh oh man i keep i keep forgetting to pick up the phone in time hollywood's trying to call in

hollywood give us a call man hollywood hollywood hollywood's listening call in call call in

In Hollywood.

With a ring that should give you a clue.

Yeah.

People in the chat room are saying, yeah, you know, we all pay taxes here.

This is a, you know, this is a tax-paying society.

People have been paying taxes since the Bible, man.

It's in the Bible. Tax collectors. Look it up. Wiki it.

Hey, man, what's going on, Hollywood?

We'd like to make a call. Please hang up and dial again.

No, I'm sorry about the whole problem there.

I'm not answering. I was in a heated discussion about Wesley Snipes.

That guy just boils my blood.

Dude, that came out.

How much he owed, like, money-wise?

How much he's worth?

I don't know.

He didn't make enough money.

A little reaction gave a loud wow to the crowd as he exited the courtroom.

His attorneys argued he should get probation or house arrest

and said they will appeal the sentence.

Yeah, bullshit.

Yeah, here we go.

Denzel Washington wrote a letter, as did Woody Harrelson.

Judge Joe Brown and Greg Mathis?

Are you kidding me?

Joe Brown?

Joe Brown and Greg Mathis submitted letters to the judge.

What a fucking joke, these people.

Jesus Christ.

All those judges can go to hell on TV.

All of them.

That woman that yells at people, too.

That damn...

Why can't he just get Judge Wapner, too?

I don't know what he's been sworn in.

I haven't read your...

He should have gotten Judge Judy to sign off on that letter.

Then it would have changed him.

I should have gone there, you know, all mean.

Oprah Winfrey, I bet you she'd do it.

And that Judge Judy chick just, you know, give me the douche chills, dude.

Anyway, hey, we're going to call Australia.

You want to do a prank call to Australia, sir?

Yeah, man.

I said, man, I had a bad day today, so I'm ready to get into a fight with someone.

Let's let some gas loose.

So this is Bojangles Saloon and Dining Room, and it's in Alice Springs.

That's the northern territory of Australia, Hollywood.

Holy shit.

What?

Good evening.

All right.

I'm Irish, sorry.

I've got to get my Australian accent.

All right.

So you take the first one, and I'll follow up on the next one.

Deal?

Cool.

Bojangles, everybody.

Good afternoon.

Bojangles.

Tim speaking.

Yes.

Can I speak with Tim, please?

Tim there.

Bojangles?

Hi.

Is the boat...

What was the boat in his name there that was there last night?

What did his name that was there last night?

Why

not i was making passes at me he tried to feel me i was holding my call

and talked to the manager tonight to my face name was told me a wrong name right now to a lawyer

today told me to go ahead and call you what was gonna happen to this right here it's probably

All about medium build, that's all I remember.

He tried to fill me up three or four times, and I tried to get out of there,

and he grabbed my arm and pulled me back in, and I only wanted him over there.

And he finally got him off me, and I left.

He pulled on my arm, and I've still got bruises on there.

Was it somebody who actually worked?

He was behind, yes, he was behind the bar.

I don't know if he worked there or not.

He was behind the bar.

At 30, he was pulling on me.

He finally came over there and got him off me, and I finally left.

My lawyer told me to pull you first.

Okay, just hold on a second.

What's the guy go for?

You want to end this one?

The duty manager.

Sure, then you can...

He's gone.

His license pulled.

That's such an American to say.

I'm going to get your lasses, bitch.

Get your lasses, bitch.

Miss Angie in the syndicate radio.tv room says that I never smile.

I never smile?

I should smile more.

I don't know.

I'm a sad person, Angie.

Turn your head.

You can turn your frown upside down.

Yeah, just flip the image upside down.

You'll be fine.

Yeah, it's whatever.

You don't want to see me smile anyway.

I'm missing a lot of teeth, and I have gingivitis.

You don't want to see that.

Break the damn camera.

Break the internet.

Okay, anyway, so that was fun.

That was Australia.

Not bad, not bad.

Let's see what else.

Oh, dude, I found a show that we did where we called Japan, like, nonstop.

I'm going to be posting that pretty soon.

I'll play it at the end of tonight's show.

I don't know if you've heard it, but it's May 2nd of 2007.

Let me see.

I wrote it down here.

March 2nd, 2007 episode.

So if you want to go to the madhouselive.com website, you can download it in the archive.

Look for the March 2nd, they're all in date order, March 2-07 episode.

We'll be playing it tonight at the conclusion of tonight's show.

Milkman called that the Japanese tour, whatever, something like that.

Japanese rock tour with your cock out or something.

He said something weird like that.

I haven't had any Chinese restaurant calls, have I, lately?

No, we don't. Let's see.

Those usually turn out pretty good.

Yeah, those usually turn out good. Cool. Good deal.

All right, so Bud's Grocery Never Answered.

All right.

I got a circle

let me go ahead

and prank

circle K here

oh I got your

I got a circle K

from last one

oh that did

cut up for you

I need to send that to you

did we do a circle K

yes that's right

that's right

yeah I appreciate you

that helps out

if you can edit

pranks like that for me

yeah I've got a bunch

of yours edited

from the last Saturday

show

I got to discuss

that with you

I have an idea

for that

cool

because you got

a pretty good

if you got

if you're able

to do that

you can help

other people

listen to the show

and go to the

to get the archives and everyone be sure to go to madhouse live.com if you're listening right now

subscribe to our podcast uh check out the archives that are up there we have pranks we have uh

we have two prank uh two archive two podcasts we got a complete you know shows and pranks

all together we've got a podcast that's pranks only when a new prank gets posted on the madhouse

website we add it immediately to the to the podcast and you get it right in your ipod or

or your iTunes, or your Google, or your Yahoo Pipes, or your AOL homepage, whatever.

Just go to MadHouseLive.com, check all the stuff out.

We've got a lot of cool stuff going on.

And that's the best place to be when you're not listening to any other show here.

Also, I want to mention, of course, tomorrow evening,

a friend of MadHouse Radio, Zolar, will be on, I believe.

He should be scheduled to be on tomorrow, tomorrow night, Zolar Party Nation.

And, yeah, I was disappointed.

I came to listen to Pedro on Tuesday night, and he wasn't online.

I was hoping to hear that politics show again.

Hopefully, he'll be on next week.

No, I'm trying to find some work for my friend.

Yeah, yeah.

They're working over at the Pancho's.

Yeah.

Trying to find some work.

Speedy Gonzales.

Okay.

All right, I'm going to call Circle K here, and this is in Louisiana.

It's a redneck woman who answered.

Always fun to talk to redneck women working at a gas station.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'll do that one, and after that, I'll see if I can scrounge up a Chinese restaurant for you there, Mr. Hollywood.

all right should be able to find one here i'll let you know okay everybody hang on for the next

prank of the night what's going on guest how's the load tonight you got that written down there

344 what do you get on the mid grades though what 355 56 i see any questions i want to give

any answers okay i got myself somehow some way i ended up with a gas tanker mid-grade fuel we'll

give it to you at 159 who can who can make a half lente yes i'm with our busto busto fuels okay i

got it i got it it's extra surplus on the side of the road we found a tanker mid-grade fuel we got

we'll give it to you a little drive-in 159 per gallon who what's the name of the jefe over there

who can make that happen where's he at now until the morning though your name again and uh phone

phone number and I'll call her and see. What kind of pulls do you have? I don't know all

these questions. Text here. Yeah, I know, but I said what kind of pull do you have personally

like you and me? What kind of pull do I have? Yeah. None. I'm just a cashier. That's a

big responsibility though, you know? Give me your name, your number. I'll get in touch

with my manager and I will call you back. Alright, this is Valente. Write that down.

Uh-huh. Yeah. Number. Are you an older lady? Not mature? Forty-five years old. What's

What's that got to do with wanting to sell gas?

What's your number?

It's 888-278-8509.

Yes.

09?

09.

Who's going to be giving me a call?

Clifford?

Who's going to give me a call?

Clifford?

Either Chris or myself.

So, or yourself, though.

You might call me back.

I might.

Do you have a ring on your finger?

Does that matter?

Because I'm interested in looking forward to a relationship with you.

Do you like popcorn?

No, I don't think so.

Do you like popcorn?

She didn't hear the click.

I didn't hear her click.

I want to ask her about popcorns, man.

I like popcorns.

To place a call, press 1.

There we go.

To listen to your recorded...

Her call back, ask her about popcorns.

Well, let's call the Chinese first.

Give her a little time to stew a little bit, you know.

Relax, she's just been sexually harassed.

We've got a sexually harasser.

Okay, I got...

Here's my first one here.

I got a red dragon Chinese.

This is in Guam.

Perfect.

Okay.

It's across from the Hotel Okura.

Okura?

Okura. Hotel Okura.

I'm going to send you a message here with the information.

Alright, there you go. The Hotel Okura.

Okay? Alright, so everybody, here comes

the Red Dragon Chinese

restaurant. This one's in Guam. We always have a

fun time when we call Guam. You can't

go wrong with a Guam call, dude.

You can't go wrong with Guam. It almost

rhymes. Right back in a moment. Looking good

here with the numbers. My God.

Unbelievable. Alright, let's see what else I got here.

I can't believe it's not butter. I can't believe it's

not the butter.

Go to your order.

Hello, go to your order.

Something, I'll clear this ring.

I sent you a number.

I confirmed it a few minutes ago.

Okay, you did?

Baz, you sent in a number?

Let's see.

Oh, the Buzz Inn Steakhouse.

You want to call a steakhouse?

Okay, it's in Everett Wah, Washington.

Let me send you that information.

Everybody, we're going to try Steakhouse instead.

Third try is the charm, I always say.

No doubt about that.

Hang on, folks, just a moment for the next prank of the night.

Yes, I know.

He's on, what's he, who is he called?

Everett Buzz Inn.

something is in the air i'm telling you what hello what do you want okay we got the china

king super buffet she's quite rude she's usually quite rude bad says we're gonna try the china

king super buffet just confirmed in california to add minutes to your card

it's all bullshit they can still search your glove compartment

it's a night tonight dude that is messed up that that is just not fair

Trump wants to know, what's the YouTube name so I can see the 420 vids?

MadhouseRadio should be.

I guess it's YouTube.com forward slash MadhouseRadio, or I don't know.

Did you see any of those things on G4 videos?

No, G4?

Yeah, they did a whole...

Did they really?

Yeah, really.

I used to watch a lot of tech TV, and when G4 took them over, I got a little upset, and I tried.

Yeah, but recently, apparently, the...

What am I saying?

Attack of the Show, I was watching it.

Yeah, Olivia Munn is hot.

Yeah, she's been hot.

Lego has, like, Dr. Lego has an infatuation with her.

Like, he's talked to her on the phone or something,

trying to get her to come on the air, but she won't do it.

Place a call.

That's all recorded now.

I wasted, like, two minutes with that.

Oh, fuck.

Anyway, what was that?

Okay.

All right, so, hey, another prank call here.

I got the Yanksy Restaurant.

This one is in Santa Monica, California.

One of these has to work, man.

Okay.

We got to get a hook here somewhere.

We need some help here.

Tuck, help us out here.

Hang on, folks.

Another restaurant coming up in just a moment.

Madhouse Radio, 11.03 p.m.

We've done an hour show so far.

This is our 24th.

Back with the next print.

Hello, Summer.

How are you doing tonight?

Good, thank you.

Good.

Can I please order that I'm going to pick up, please?

Okay.

You deliver?

Yes, we do.

Oh, wonderful.

Okay.

Yeah, actually, excuse me?

Hold on real quick.

Hold on real quick, ma'am.

Okay, thank you.

Hold on to what?

I have another line before you.

I need to pick up that line first.

Another lady?

There's another lady there, too?

Another line?

You're doing lines there?

What's going on?

Are you guys on the phone or what?

Yes, I'm on the other line right now.

Oh, you're doing a line right now.

Okay, I'll do a line, too, then.

How's that?

Yeah, I got a line right here.

We're into the yay.

The white lady.

I saw that Ardy video today.

I got it off the news group.

I'm convinced it's not a bit now.

Couldn't have been a bit.

Yeah, that's all right.

I'm going to pick up.

Is that okay?

I've been stripping all night, and I really need to get something to eat really soon.

Do you guys have, like, I've never been there, so do you have the buffet, or do you just make it?

No, we don't have buffet, ma'am.

Okay.

Okay, well, let me tell you what I want to order, and then you tell me how much it's going to be, okay?

Okay.

All right.

Do you guys have, like, the dinner portion of choke on it?

No, we don't.

Okay.

Do you have the lunch portion of that right now?

The what?

The lunch portion.

No, we have only the dinner portion.

All right.

Well, do you have the dinner portion?

Okay, well, can I get a large order, then, of hoolaid third?

I think you called the wrong restaurant or something.

Chinese food, right?

Yeah.

Okay, yeah.

Do you have the rectum block?

We don't, ma'am.

Okay.

Well, the other thing that I really order all the time is the suck me wang.

Do you guys have those?

No, we don't.

They're just on the side.

No, we don't have it, ma'am.

Okay, what is your special then?

Okay, what are you looking for?

Because I think maybe you called the wrong restaurant.

It's Chinese food, right?

Yeah, Thai food.

Right.

Hold it.

Do you have the, what's your special then?

Do you have the duck?

We have honey duck, yeah.

You have honey duck?

Is that sweet?

You know what, how about if you come in, you can order here.

That way you can see the food.

I think it might be better.

Well, I don't want to see it.

I just want to eat it.

I'm really hungry because, like I said, I've been stripping all night.

I understand, ma'am, but because you don't know what you want to order.

Maybe we can strip together.

Where do you work at?

Is this your second job you do?

Yes.

If you're going to call and to bother people, better not, you know.

If what?

I'm sorry, I can't understand a word you're saying.

I'm going to call something or who?

You know what?

We busy here, we do the business here.

Well, I'm busy too.

I'm coming there to give you my business.

Would you like to strip with me then?

Sorry, ma'am.

What are you doing after work tonight?

You're who?

You're retarded?

We busy here, we do the business here.

Well, that makes perfect sense.

We all busy here, and we do the business here.

Jesus, God.

Oh, my God.

Phone's trying to make weird noises again.

God, I hate my life.

All right, now Wilson Lewis just sent in a whole shit ton load of Chinese restaurants here.

This is good.

It's always fun.

Golden Rice Bowl restaurants.

I'm going to do this call here if you don't mind holding.

People are asking for UK numbers or UK calls.

Well, in order to do that, my friend, we would need UK numbers, my friend.

Nunu is referencing American Bastard.

That is a prank call that we did on April 20th on Sunday afternoon.

Great show that we had here.

I will be replaying that on the break

in a little bit

we'll be taking a break, if I don't take the break

then I'll probably just play the prank

you know what, I'll play the prank

in a little bit, American Bastard

fun fun prank call that we did here, be sure to enjoy that

in a moment, so stay with us here tonight

new news also reported

last week I believe there's going to be a

convention for the telemarketers

apparently that's going to be

starting next week, I believe

you were saying, yeah so

So, the problem being, that's over the weekend.

And I believe that's Memorial Day weekend.

So, that might be a little hard.

We'll try to do that.

Anyway, more numbers here.

Gong's Chinese food.

I'm sure we'll get some UK numbers here soon to do as well.

So, relax.

In the meantime, I'm going to call the Golden Rice Bowl restaurant.

Y'all don't mind holding here for a moment.

We'll get the next prank call here in line.

In a good time, as I said.

Just a moment.

Back in a few.

Deception Gassy this week

Notice I haven't farted much this week

Which one was

Oh the triplicate

Like where he has

Got three people going

At the same time

No I didn't hear

I didn't hear any new pranks this week

Yeah and I've listened

To a lot of Stern

I didn't catch that one

That was a couple

A couple weeks ago

No

I checked that out

You can put it up

If you want me to

In the forums

Yeah do that

Put it up in the forums man

Everyone go to the forums

If you're not in there already

Over at madhouselive.com

Be sure to check out

Our forum machine

Be sure to check out

Our wiki page

And all that good stuff

It's over there

Madhouselive.com

To place a call, press 1.

And they're not going to answer over there.

Okay, instead we're going to try Gong's Chinese food.

Let's see what new news is in here.

Press 3.

Our new news is that telemarketers can be pranked

Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday night.

Okay, well, keep that in mind.

Maybe we'll do a special Sunday afternoon show again next week.

We'll see how time does.

Okay, all right.

Hang on, folks.

Gong's Chinese.

He's solid.

I'll catch you on the next one.

My cat's freaking out.

Hey, cat.

Cat over here.

All right, that was Hollywood, everybody.

Hollywood, Hollywood, Hollywood.

Hollywood.

Motherfucker.

Hollywood.

All right.

The cat spazzing out, chasing its tail, wanting to get outside.

Hey, fatty.

Oh, he sees a bug.

That's what it is.

He sees a gnat.

We've had a gnat problem in this house again.

Someone's supposed to do the dishes in this house and doesn't do it when they're supposed to,

so now there's gnats everywhere.

Awesome, huh?

Yeah, anyway.

All right, folks, I need to add some more minutes to the phone card.

We need to play that prank from Sunday also, so we're going to take a break.

And I've got to save the podcast for Syndicate Radio, the video, the recorded first hour of the show.

Anyway, so that's the end of the first half of the show.

Folks, we'll be right back with some more pranks in a moment.

This is Madhouse Live, Madhouse Radio, Madhouse, over at MadhouseLive.com.

SyndicateRadio.tv, of course, is the stable.

We're also on 98.6 The Mouth.

Of course, PCU Radio as well.

PCURadio.com, be sure to check them out as well.

the extended madhouse radio family nobody in the justin.tv uh room thanks guys i appreciate it i

don't think there is how many people we got nine viewers all right we got nine viewers okay well

everybody who's in there man thanks for thanks for watching our video feed they're probably watching

oh hollywood's in there all right good we do got somebody in there but let me see are there any

i got hollywood that's it all right good we got one person in there justin bitch okay when we

come back we have more numbers we're gonna have some uk calls coming up in a moment uh we also

We also have a number here in Maidenhead from the Bad Boys of Iowa.

Hey, what's up, guys?

What's up, dude?

I haven't seen you in a while.

Mr. Iowa or Ohio.

I used to like to joke around.

What country is that?

P.K., is that China?

Let me know.

Report.

And your request coming up next year.

We'll be back in a moment.

This is Madhouse Live, Madhouse Radio.

And on the flip side, on the bright side of things, you know,

we still have about an hour left to show.

There's no need to panic.

And we'll also have a few more news articles here, perhaps,

so things slow down

and we'll just end our show

around 12.15, 12.30

like we normally do

so we don't need to panic.

Back in a moment, folks.

Madhouse Radio.

Yes.

To kill more time here.

I'm going to do a jig on the camera.

Jiggy, jiggy, jiggy.

All right.

Be back right after this.

And as you know,

one call equals a billion people,

which means 20 billion people

were offended by this.

98.6.

No.

No?

Hello?

Excuse me while I kiss the sky real quick.

Give me a second.

Hello?

Can you excuse me while I kiss this guy for a second?

Yes, I'd like to make an order, please.

Is this...

Which counter, Clank?

Is this Alblow?

This is Alblow, yes.

Okay, yes, I'm going to come and pick it up in my hand machine.

Pardon?

Come in my hand machine and pick it up.

Okay, good.

Yes, I'd like...

What?

Dude, I'm American.

Don't...

The starter, what?

What do you mean?

What is that?

The only starter I know goes in a car, and I got to rental.

I need to order a palau rice, or pi...

Just main meal, then, yes.

Pee-loo...

How is it?

this is like this you know i'm america and i only speak american and some of this brit because i

know you guys put the u in color i think i guess this is pila which main dish would you like to

order the pila right to order what what is uh pupa pupa da ums pupa down yeah that how many

portions two in order yeah two in one portion but what's the point no no i want the whole thing not

a portion how many puppets would you like to order if you're ordering one portion that's

and you'll get two papadums, that's in one portion, with chutneys as well.

But I don't want a portion of it, I want the whole order.

No, you misunderstood me there. You have ordered papadums.

Yeah, exactly, papadums for the, yeah, two of us, papadums.

If you want two portions, that's four.

If you want one portion, then it's two.

Okay, a portion is a part, but I'm asking, I want the whole thing.

I don't just want a portion, I want the whole order.

Would you like to order?

Yes, I'm ordering pilau, look, I really only, my first language is American, I'm from America, and not this English stuff, and this one here says P-I-L-A-U, so I know that you...

So it's pronounced as pilau.

It's pilau, that one, made the two

Now, he said a portion.

I'm explaining

I want the whole thing

Not just a portion of it

No, the whole thing

Is one portion

You get two pieces

And the chutney

Okay, but what I'm saying

I don't want a portion

Of the order

I want the whole order

You know, I want the whole thing

Not just a part of it

Not a portion

You want a completion of it

Yeah, yeah, you know

Like, that is a whole bit

I want two completions

Yeah, okay

Two completions, yeah

Okay, great

Two of them, yeah

Two completions

What about the pep noms?

Pep noms

Okay

What curries would you like?

Alright

I see the chicken curry

Marry with extra cockroaches.

With cockroaches, please.

Where do you call them from?

The United States of America.

Do you have any palmetto beetles?

We call them cockroaches.

Whoa, I'm making an order.

It's a free country, sir.

This is America.

I make an order where I want.

I feel like I want to.

No, no, no.

Watch your mouth.

Sir, I'm American.

Watch your mouth.

Shut the fuck up, you bastard.

Excuse me, this is...

American bastard.

How dare you, sir?

Shut up.

We've done for you.

You wake up in the morning.

You thank the God for us.

1-888-278-509

You know what, I hope that when you die, they put your GPS in your box and a trap door at the bottom.

So when you die, you open that trap door at the bottom, you check the GPS, and you go straight down to the hell.

Madhouse Radio is back.

You are bigger than a woman.

You are better than a woman.

We'll always be behind you.

Do not let a woman ever, ever make you who you are.

all right we're back everybody manhouse radio getting ready to shut it down in just a moment

here not not a moment but eventually here soon we'll be shutting it down i just had to shut down

watch out you remember what i was talking about how i didn't have a problem with the gas

this week something just happened here i'll tell you what something something disproved that i

think everyone who's still listening to us we have uh 11 21 uh let's see here one two three

3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 10, another 15 there, 25, 36, and over here we got another 11.

That's 47 listeners live.

Everybody, thank you so much for listening to us.

Actually giving a crap about something good, something fun, something decent.

MadhouseRadio, MadhouseLive.com.

Be sure to visit our extended family over at SyndicateRadio.tv, PCUradio.com, 98.6themouth.com as well.

Well, yeah, I'd like to thank all the guys, all the homies who made it finally to the Justin.TV room.

Thank you, guys.

We need to get at least 20 people in there at a time whenever we get a chance so we can start getting some traffic in there.

I turned down the video.

I darken things in the room a little bit.

Sometimes I like to make it dark.

You know what I mean?

I like to make things a little dark.

I'm going to try to stay on for about another hour or so, 45 minutes.

We've got a lot of numbers here that have come in in the U.K.

Off from Lonesome Loser, thank you, sir.

Sylvia Gilbert, Richard Gilbert

Peter Watts, and Nick

and Kirby, all in

England, awesome, so we're going to call

those, we also have a number here

located in Norway

I don't know what kind of minutes we get out there

it's the Vic Hotel in

Norway, they speak English, it's a hotel

called the, that's

all we know, Norway, I don't know, we're in

Norway, apparently

I'd like to thank Ted, who's

finally joined in, as well as Tuck, Baz

and Brandon Vegas. What's going on, Ted? How you

doing, man? You around? No, Ted.

What about the Tuck? Big Tug.

What's your status? Tug, yes, sir.

Tugging away? Yes. Big Baz

sending... Big Baz, of

course. Baz, you have any of those

funky numbers of yours? Where's that place?

Saipan? You got any of those, man?

It's always fun to call. I really like Saipan a lot.

They're so slow there, man. Slow people.

Slow asses. Here we go with Peter

Watts in England, everybody.

Specifically, it's Sussex, England.

I don't even know what part of England that is. Shit.

But we're going to call it, regardless, one moment, folks.

Next call of the night.

The U.K.

Sexism.

States of America.

California.

Didn't say you ever heard.

There's a lot of, I'm a Watts myself as well.

I'm looking at my place this day, and I'm trying to trace my roots down,

and I actually have a book that I received from the British Ministry.

Records of my ancestors, and I'm coming across some of the Watts here,

so I thought I'd give you a call.

I can't get to sleep, man.

I took a nap on the plane, slept eight hours like a baby.

Well, I was asleep.

Oh, that's okay.

We'll catch up, you know.

We can catch up on the sleeping a little bit.

You're not busy, are you?

I'm going to sleep now.

Goodbye.

Are you awake, sir?

Okay, that was the UK already.

Wake up call number one.

Bitches, Carlito's calling.

Hollywood's just updated the forums over at madhouselive.com with three new Carlito calls.

Awesome.

Thanks, dude.

Be sure to check those out, folks.

Uma over at the Syndicate Radio home room is going to be sending in a number for a David Poon.

Sending in the number, rather, for a David Poon over in Canada.

I had to sneeze there.

Sorry about that.

Douche checking in in the chat room.

What's up, big douche?

DTT saying, hi, what's up, DTT?

DTT says, Carlito is awesome.

Thanks, man.

Appreciate that, DTT.

DTT checking in.

Almost done with finals for flight school.

Awesome.

We'll be getting his license pretty soon.

That's awesome.

Good for you, man.

man and uh mebo guest 846309he as an echo says what up carlito with an e at the end like carlito

and he calls me the n-word all right man hell yeah yeah awesome let's let's try to call this

norway number here this is a hotel in norway folks let's wake up norway here let's have some

fun did they speak norwegian there or german or austrian or what's the deal is there a norwegian

Norwegian address, or language, rather?

Does anyone know?

It's a Scandinavian country, so...

They speak Scandinavian.

They speak Norwegian.

Okay.

You see, you know how ignorant I am, guys.

Okay.

All right, folks.

Just a moment here for the next prank of the night.

Norway coming up.

It's where all the white people are.

The real white people.

I thought they were from the Caucasus Mountains.

Caucasus Mountains.

I don't know.

Where are the Caucasians from?

What's the story of the Caucasians?

You always hear Caucasian American.

Who the hell's Caucasian?

like what is that i heard it caucasia carefully of spaceship thousands of years until they found

earth in the mothership they came and things of this nature jim hayes checking in with a big jim

from a co-worker of carlitos jim we're calling the norway dude hang in there you're gonna hear

a funny prank call hopefully or a big or a big shit jc loke says lots of violence and lots of

Of oil in the Caucasus.

So all you white people are from the Caucasus?

That's like Asia, man.

Isn't it like Russia?

Isn't it like right by Mongolia?

Or Magnolia?

Magnolia?

Mongolia.

Oh, man, I am so out of it.

So all white people are basically Mongolians.

Geography!

Did you not go to school?

Were you smoking a little of something-something

during geography class in high school, son?

No, I was eating mayonnaise.

maybe that's what did it i had some i had some carbs you know that's it yeah i'm saying

mongolia is east of asia okay mongolia is east asia the caucus

so mongolia is right next to so the caucus caucasia whatever this country is what's it

called caucus caucasus or white people are from apparently touches mongolia and mongolians are

So, like, Mongolians are, like, dark-skinned, retarded-looking Chinese.

You know, I mean, that's where the word Mongoloid comes from.

So, they got it.

They all look kind of like, you know, they all look like, like, everybody,

if you want to know how a Mongolian looks like, to me, I mean, I'm not trying to be.

Wow, that's really racist.

I'm not trying to be, but everybody, do me a favor.

If you have a mirror or if you want to.

You're going to be apologizing to somebody.

I'll be making an apology.

Everyone

Try to bite your left ear off

With your own mouth

Like make the best attempt you can right now

To bite your left ear

With your own mouth

Do that for a little bit

Watch yourself in the mirror

And that is what a Mongolian looks like

To me that's what you know like

And do that while you do it

Go

That's right there

Hey I can do it

You know my little cousin is

Has Down Syndrome

You're going to make somebody cry

I shouldn't do that joke

My little cousin Karen

poor little girl she's she's a sweetheart she's got down syndrome that's not funny i'm sorry

everybody okay i'm sorry i would like to make hi this is carlito regardless late recently i may

have made some statement that might have been offensive towards um whatever all right anyway

we're getting to this nick kirby in leicestershire england leicestershire just a moment folks and

we're learning more about where white people are really from they're from asia they're mongolian

touchers god let's pull out some inbreeding there i want a full report on this caucasian thing here

comes the next prank of the night this is nick kirby in england we got some stuff going on here

is this mr kirby oh sir are you ready did you wake up like you were supposed to sir this morning

well this is your early wake-up come up reach up as high as you can as low as you can down to your

toes well this is your 4 30 a.m wake-up call sir 30 a.m wake-up well this reservation's desk

I asked apparently for a 4.30 wake-up call, so I'm giving you a call.

Sir, you're here at the Hotel American.

You're room 163.

Exactly, the Hotel American in Leicester in England.

Yes, sir.

I'll have you down for a 4.30 and wake-up call.

Thanks, sir.

Well, good.

My job is done.

Now I need you to stand up and do five jumping jacks.

Oh, piss off.

And a one and a two.

All right, there we go.

I just took that.

That was an homage to Clone Homegrown with those damn Brits.

Damn bloody Brits.

That was kind of...

All right, that's a good one right there.

Now that's a keeper.

keeper i'll give myself a gold star for that me and baz are tied for one gold star tonight yeah

and i'm understanding here that stalin was from the caucasus from caucasia wow stalin you see

that white people are communist now apparently this is not boding well for you white people

something's up i'm on to this caucasian stuff like for the for 20 20 years i've been hearing

oh caucasian i'm caucasian american i'm not white i'm caucasian american

and i never questioned what what's caucasian mean where's that come from caucasian and now

i'm understanding this is a whole asian thing it has asian in it your people aren't white

your people are asians you're like you know you got more in common with like chinese people than

anything else what's american than anything we have an inbound phone call everybody let's see

how this goes what's radio do you want to speak to carlito please what's going on

So that's all the caucus areas, like the stands in that area,

except for, well, not Pakistan and all this,

but like Uzbekistan and all those kind of former Soviet areas?

That's something.

Yeah.

That's a lot of oil there.

No kidding.

always fire the symbol yeah the symbol of azerbaijan is a flame kidding you learn something

here every day no kidding so i need to get i need to get some land in azerbaijan is that the one

azerbaijan that's right you know these are all countries that i hear about i've heard of them

and i know they're in you know that part of the world but i don't know anything about what they

do or what they export or like what what the deal is with like azerbaijan like countries like that

like moldova is another one um you know i never hear anything about countries like that uzbekistan

Depends on whose news you read, you know?

I mean, like, you won't hear about it on CNN,

but, I mean, you read the Russian, you're bound to hear something.

Yeah, I hear that.

You've got to open your mind.

You've got to research everything.

That's what the show's about.

We bring up things like that.

I don't really have a...

I mean, I'm in grad school,

so I'm, like, reading about this stuff all the time,

but when y'all start talking about the...

So do you know how white people became to be known as the Caucasians?

I mean, how did they migrate over to America or just over to the world?

old i mean my limited knowledge and experience i do believe it was like the indo-european

migrations like thousands of years ago from around that area it'd be best to speak to like

the expert but you do have some uh modern take on what that part of the world's about well that's

cool man thanks for the update that says it's good information man i mean i don't know are you

into doing prank calls we can i can connect you with one or unless you just wanted to call the

way in on the topic at hand that's also fine whatever you want i'm just calling the way in

man cool not a problem pressure thanks all for uh thanks all for giving me a moment to spew off

right there you got it i appreciate that that's a great good information i'm gonna i'm gonna

investigate more about this whole caucasian thing thank you man the world man prank the world.com

see you man prank the world.com indeed dr lego will be on uh wednesday nights on syndicate radio.tv

and he's over at prank the world.com the lego.net dtt calls me a web bag all right man you got it

Jim, our friend Jim here, says he likes the page overhaul.

Yeah, there's been some overhauls to the page, some slight differences.

Even today there were some updates to the archive, the way it looks.

I'm tweaking it here and there.

And I do want to announce that for the Syndicate listeners, Dino and I will be both working.

Dino has looked at my page recently, seen a lot of changes,

and sees a lot of potential for Syndicate, for the Syndicate radio folks to have their own little setup

where you can kind of interact a little better with the hosts who are doing live shows

and get all your different pranks and archives and YouTube clips and stuff like that

kind of all streamlined together.

So I'm going to be designing a few options for a syndicate,

and I'm going to be presenting them to Dino and Dr. Ivano,

so I'm going to have to employ him for some graphics help.

But I'm going to be presenting a few options,

and I'm going to be helping them implement some changes on their website,

some very easy-to-do, easy-to-maintain stuff,

so they won't have to worry about it going out of date either.

gonna make sure it looks good anyway so look forward to that syndicate people i've been talking

to dino throughout the week about that and starting next week i'll start working on that so

stay tuned for that what the hell is your problem fucking cat knock it on the door damn cat that's

what i'm saying okay so anyway um we're gonna do the next prank call of the night here this is uh

going to be sylvia gilbert also in england we'll do another wake up prank call that was kind of fun

that guy was like oh go piss off all right we're gonna go piss off everybody with the next prank

prank of the night 11 48 p.m eastern i'd make it 8 48 p.m on the west coast thursday april the 24th

friday is almost here the wind down for the weekend is almost upon us we got one day left

to work hopefully for the majority of you so happy not to work weekends anymore man back in a moment

with the next prank of the night hang on everybody hang on that reminds me of something here's a new

story here's a new story that was really funny the secret service in the white house caught a

A Mexican Press Attaché.

Attaché.

What is a Press Attaché?

Is that how you pronounce it?

A-T-T-A-C-H-E with an apostrophe over it.

Is that a Press...

Attaché.

And what's a Press Attaché?

Are they just like a...

They hang out like a...

Like a reporter groupie kind of thing?

Or are they...

I don't understand what a Press Attaché is.

But anyway, there was a Mexican one.

And there was a recent meeting in New Orleans, apparently.

And he was there with some...

with some white house officials and this mexican uh press attache starts uh taking uh he he saw the

the people's black bears that were sitting around he started putting them in his pockets

um he stole several of them apparently he tried stealing he got caught by the

by the secret service i just wanted to point out how ironic it is that you know a mexican gentleman

is is uh he's caught uh stealing forget so fucked up the mexican uh press guy is stealing uh is in

in the white house stealing the black bears imagine that who didn't know who didn't figure

that would have happened that's irony right there i thought it was funny when i read it whatever oh

here's the other one the really funny one did you hear about the priest that tied himself his chair

up with balloons and flew away the dumb asshole did you hear about this guy in brazil something

about that elaborate more i will priest floats off under party balloons this happened uh i believe it

was monday or might have been sunday anyway a catholic priest like he was doing this for charity

he he got himself like a floatable kind of chair and he tied a bunch of balloons up to it right

and uh and helium balloons and i guess he had a gps device on him and he had like a cell a satellite

cell phone or something like that and he he went flying he he was expecting to to you know fly to

to some city 750 kilometers away from from where he started at his parish at his church but the

prevailing winds picked him up and he got blown out overseas the last time they knew about him

he was on the gps like 40 miles off the coastline over the atlantic ocean stupid asshole i don't

mean to be mean man but what kind of dumb asshole are you this priest was he where i wonder if he's

wearing his priest like smock you know like the black thing with the the whole that'd be cool if

he had the cardinal hat on you know oh let's hope so like how do you expect if you're in a you're

in a in a plastic chair with balloons on you how do you expect to be able to steer that thing at

all to to land exactly in in a city like someone in the city of dorados he was gonna land how how

do you do that i mean you're at the mercy of the winds you're in a freaking balloon machine man

I mean, how does he land?

Does he just start popping balloons one by one?

Or was he, maybe he was just going to jump,

maybe he had a parachute on or something.

You can't steer a balloon machine.

Dumb.

Stupid.

That fucking shit.

Anyway, so he had a GPS, a satellite phone, a buoyant chair,

and was an experienced skydiver.

Big old pin?

I don't know.

So apparently he's, this was days ago.

He still hasn't been found, and he's probably shark meat by now.

Shark bait.

anyway uh and we got you know a few other things to talk about here anyway yeah hollywood asset and

a very crass hollywood did he have a boy with him too that's kind of funny zach says god took him

that's funny too yeah that's what it was he he went into the light that's for sure man that's

gotta be bad going up with balloons and crashing down and drowning in the water and stuff and he's

probably all dressed up like a priest crazy guy he's probably praying the rosary all scared i

Richie was like, man, this really was a stupid freaking idea.

I could have had all the bacon I wanted to.

All that dieting, all that no eating eggs, no eating bacon, no eating pork.

It was a great idea when you turned up the holy wine at the time, you know?

Yeah.

Did he mention that they found his balloons?

Oh, they found his balloons.

No, that's an update there.

Did they really?

Yeah, they found them in the ocean.

Ooh, that's not good.

That's not a good sign.

Wow, they're never going to find that guy.

He's gone.

He's lost at the sea.

He's one with the big ocean

Big baby Jesus in the ocean is where he's at now

And that's just his fault

Anyway, in honor of him, we'll play this

This is the National Anthem of Brazil

I'll be back in a moment with Sylvia Gilbert in England

I'm sorry I'm late

I'll give you a 10% discount on any purchases you make this morning in the pantry for breakfast

Exactly, I'm with the hotel here, the Hotel Americana here in town

I'll have you down to give you a wake up call at this time

I was supposed to call you about 5 minutes ago, I'm very sorry I'm late

This is England, not America

Well, I am in England.

This is the Hotel Americana in England, ma'am.

Where about?

Well, we're here in England, ma'am.

Have you heard of England before?

Apparently you're visiting from...

That's what I'm saying.

Well, I have that...

Your hotel is your hotel.

I have down here that you're visiting our hotel here,

that you flew in from...

No, I'm not.

Well, you're from the American Embassy

that we had to give you a...

No, you've got a mate.

Well, this is the Gilberts.

That's me.

Sylvia.

We're in England, Gwent.

That's us right here.

Hotel Americana.

Are you awake, though?

You're a zombie.

Well, I'm...

Bye.

I'm supposed to actually, I'm supposed to write down that you confirm that you're awake,

and she's not, she's not going to confirm.

She's not a zombie, apparently, well, that's good, very good,

because zombies are just, that would just scare me.

Fucking zombies, man, watch out for that.

Brains.

Douche wants to call, oh, I still haven't unblocked British Columbia.

God dang it, hang on, let me take care of that now.

Excuse me, so Douche can call in.

Unblocking for him first, again, unblocking.

It'll be unblocked in a moment Mr. Douche

We'll be speaking to Milkman here in about 5 or 10 minutes

And wrapping up the show after that

We'll be catching up with him

In the meantime if you do want to squeeze your calls in

If you're not in British Columbia

You can call in

888-278-8509

Again that's 1-888-278-8509

That is a toll free line

You got the time and we got the dime

That's what Milkman would say

The thing about the time and the dime

Not to smoke weed everyday

day he doesn't do that um we got a lot of people in justin.tv now and our page and justin thanks

guys not not anymore monks we got 13 people in there oh yeah milkman he used to he used to smoke

quite a bit he said he was quite the smoker he was a hippie you know he was he was he was a nom

too you know yeah yeah crazy shit um i started looking into this here and i was following this

over the weekend before the story became big i was following this already um about the food

rationing that's starting to start uh starting to begin in uh in the wholesale in the wholesale

stores you know you got your costcos and your

sam's club to a

lesser extent here in florida we have bj's warehouse as well uh you know these are the

large you know places where you can go and barge large by large amounts of food like you can get

like you know very big you know things of me or very big very big things of peanut butter jars

of peanut whatever you know what i mean sam's club stuff like that they're they're having to

limit they're having to limit sales of the big bags of rice because apparently uh there's a run

on rice um there's a worldwide shortage on rice and a lot of people are starting to go hungry

in parts of the world that rely on rice asian countries and stuff like that and apparently

countries like china and india and places like that are coming to the american market and buying

up a lot of stocks of rice right now because they don't have enough to feed their people

because of a food shortage that's going on in that part of the world and that's leaving american

stockpiles starting to go down to dangerous levels so right now they're already starting to ration

and rice and there could be a run on cooking oil and flour and wheat and uh so it's starting i mean

i really think our economy is something insane i've never in my life in my 28 years of being

alive and i admit i am young but i am pretty old all right i'm almost 30 all right that's old like

when i was a teenager i used to consider 28 was like the the end of youth like when i was 29 i

said you might as well be 30 at that point and when you're 30 you're an adult you're not a you're

not a cool person anymore so i've got about i've got less than two months left of being 28 i'm gonna

be 29 i'm gonna be married to 29 at least i didn't you know at least i'm getting married before i

turn 30 that's not bad i'm blobbing away whatever so people are going hungry there's food shortages

in america what the hell is going on people fix it okay pay your taxes wesley snipes people like

that are bringing us down people like that and the north koreans we're gonna call peter watts

in england also in sussex sussex england well you know ethanol has made uh corn corn corn thing

crazy yeah there are a lot of riots and there's been some rioting in south america and mexico

to ethanol that's right and not and to embark in raising the price on well i've heard that

well i've heard for the most part that the uh the benefits of ethanol like corn-based fuels

it's not sustainable at all it's not possible to grow that much corn to sustain you know the world's

you know fuel needs apparently all it's done is drive out the price of corn for no reason

we need to stick to hydrogen yeah or electricity and you know we need we really need to get nuclear

energy you know let me get off get on my soapbox again here there you go but nuclear energy is

clean energy yeah nuclear energy is dangerous it is not it is not dangerous there's not there's

There are systems in place now that will keep Chernobyl from ever happening again.

And the whole Three Mile Island thing was not a disaster.

It didn't even come close to disaster.

There was no radiation leak that caused a huge problem.

It's been proven that there was no increase in the cancer rates in Pennsylvania as a cause of the Three Mile incident.

It wasn't an accident, everybody.

There's nothing wrong with nuclear fuel.

How are you, sir?

Well, I'm just being honest with you.

I'm looking for support for expansion of nuclear energy in England and in the United Kingdom

and the adoption of the American dollar as the new standard in Europe.

No, I will never go away.

Mr. Watts, he doesn't want to discuss that.

I forgot how to already talk to him.

I bet.

Anyway, so yeah.

But I'm being serious.

Nuclear power is clean energy.

There's no immediate byproduct of that.

It warms up some lakes because of the coolant.

Big deal, okay?

Okay, if the lake temperature goes up five degrees,

wah, all right, and so what?

So you get left with some nuclear waste.

Okay, big deal.

That nuclear waste, you put that away.

It's not going to contaminate the planet all over.

It's going to contaminate one little spot.

You build into like some kind of Cheyenne mountain kind of thing,

and you store all the nuclear waste in there underground,

miles and miles underground, and it's not a problem, you know?

know nuclear energy is a clean resource and don't listen to all these crazy hoodnicks that was like

oh no nukes and this and that and what shut up all right i think there hasn't been a nuclear

reactor built in america like since the 70s or something like that insane get over it fuck

angry let's try to call the milkman here everybody on the back line what's his phone number so what's

milkman's phone number get that out over the air if you could please real quick hello

I don't know.

Why are you asking me why I'm angry now?

Shit.

I don't know, my man.

Shit, motherfucker.

I don't know.

All right, hang on, folks.

Let's try to get Milkman here on the line.

He said his meeting was over three minutes ago.

I told him to call in immediately.

He never did.

Well, you know how Milkman is.

Always late.

Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.

That Milkman.

For the tone, the numeric page for more options.

Hey, Milkman, Carlito, Madhouse Studios.

You're supposed to be off of work like five minutes ago, so give me a call.

I'm going to end the show soon.

Goodbye.

Let's see if he calls in.

Oh, he does.

In the meantime, everybody, be sure to go to madhouselive.com.

Everybody, madhouselive.com.

You know, I think I might just end the show now.

Yeah, I think it's time.

I'm going to get some rest.

Actually, I would like to watch Survivor.

See, it's been a crappy show because there's been no Milkman.

Yeah, it's, come on, man.

No Milkman, no show.

I mean, that's all it is.

Let's go ahead and wrap things up here.

Yeah, I got stuff to do downstairs.

Yeah, I got stuff to do downstairs, too, but downstairs being inside my pants.

You know what I'm saying?

anyway so folks

thank you very much

for listening here with us

we've had a great night

tonight

what?

not good

oh you get it?

yeah good

Madhouse Road is live

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I'd like to thank Lonesome Loser for sending in numbers.

I'd like to thank everyone else, like Nunu

and a Norwegian guy that sent in a number

and all those people.

Thank you, folks.

Hollywood, thanks for calling in, Hollywood.

I want to thank DC, Loke, for calling in as well

to talk about Caucasians.

And Jonathan called in also.

Thank you, man.

And we mentioned Hollywood already.

I think that's all the call-ins for the night.

We'll catch you here next week folks

And in the meantime

We always appreciate everything you do for us

Thanks Tuck and the rest of you guys

Brandon Baz on you

Next week

This radio is live Thursday nights

At 10pm Eastern

Why don't you shut the hell up

Fuck you

Be sure to visit us online

Calls (13, 35 min of 1 h 38 min)

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