2008-05-22 Show

Who plays?

What happens in America?

Well, we steamed your ass in World War II.

What do you have to do?

We never did.

And who helped you out just now?

You piss off, woman.

Don't talk to me like that.

We don't need you anyway, bitch.

God, fuck you.

Call me a stinky, stinky fucker.

You are listening to the Madhouse Radio Podcast.

Good evening, everybody.

Madhouse Radio is back on the air.

It's 10.06 p.m. Eastern Standard Time, Thursday, May the 22nd of the year 2008.

I am Carlito, your host for the evening.

We'll be on until about 12, 30-ish, p.m.-ish.

No, that's a.m.

I always make that mistake.

Because, you know, it's still night, so you want to keep the midnight as p.m., but it's really a.m.

I think we should just consider midnight 12 p.m. and noon 12 a.m.

Because I'm usually, in an ideal world, I'm not awake by 12 or I'm just waking up at 12.

So I consider that morning.

In an ideal world, I'll be having breakfast at 12 noon, to be honest with you.

Anyway, so we'll be on until like 12, 1 a.m. or something like that.

Whatever, we'll fill it out.

We've got a lot planned here tonight.

We've got a big show.

As always, it always is a big show, but tonight is an exceptionally big show.

We've got a lot of stuff going on, a lot of things planned.

Dude, it's just hella good.

I'm not a person to use that.

I don't use hella a lot.

I'm not big into that word, but I think tonight I will utilize the word hella as hella good show tonight.

I'm predicting.

Prediction.

My prediction tonight.

night gotcha uh let's take a sip of my grape the hell seems to fit this show yes sir yes sir so

you can get a hold uh you can reach us tonight uh via yahoo or aol instant messenger the username

is madhouse radio screen name i guess is what you really call it again that's aol and yahoo

instant messengers madhouse radio is the screen name on msn messenger you can reach me at madhouse

MadHouseAtLive.com.

Again, that's MadHouseAtLive.com on MSN Messenger.

Toll-free, the line is 1-888-278-8509.

That is a toll-free line here tonight.

1-888-278-8509.

What are you saying, Tuck?

What is it, man?

Are you making a comment machine?

What's going on?

Someone in the chat room is saying,

Tuck, did Carly Toe block me?

Who's that?

That douche dude?

No, he's not blocked.

You're not blocked, but I'm just not taking calls now.

We don't take calls in the first part of the show.

Mr. British called you.

Yeah, that's just crazy.

Take it easy, British.

You need to message me first and let me know you have a lady on the line first before you call.

I already told you two weeks ago, homeboy.

You don't call into this show.

Oh, yeah.

It's a rule.

The only way he's allowed to call into this show is if he has a lady on the line who we can talk to for about two or three minutes.

And then we'll let him say whatever he wants.

anyway

we'll be policing

that action

we definitely will

hell yeah

bitch

anyway so

please go to our

website

madhouselive.com

is the website

for the madhouse

radio show

we have prank calls

archives of our

old shows

and bits and stuff

and we also have

our new

madhouse radio CD

tonight is the

official release show

how's your fat ass

doing

the cover was

provided graciously

by

well artwork by

Tuck

original artwork by

Tuck

very good deal

and

And you did a great job with it.

Also, there's Mike Tucker, which is on the cover there.

Okay, that's right.

TuckerMike.com and all that.

And you can see all the beautiful things that he has done.

Any way you can mix Mike and Tuck and ER, and you're good to go.

Mike or Tuck, all that.

He's all that.

Anyway.

And Hollywood Vanya actually printed the labels also.

Anyway, I'm holding right here in front of me.

This is the first copy that was pressed of the CD.

I don't know if it's visible.

Let me get a close shot in to the webcam.

There you folks go.

This is the very first.

Let me move my fat sausage finger.

Oh, it looks pretty awesome and shiny.

That's right.

It looks backwards for some reason.

I don't understand.

Oh, no, that's not backwards.

That's the right way.

See, there's a donkey there.

That's me in donkey form.

And it says, how's your fat ass doing?

That's the new CD.

It's available for free download.

You can download it for free, print your own label, make a CD.

An MP3 CD is also available for free download.

We ask for a donation if you can.

Be sure to go to madhouseside.com

Or you can actually purchase an autographed copy of the CD

As a matter of fact

I will be giving out tonight to one lucky listener

An autographed copy

The very first copy of this CD

I'm not getting it, Milkman's not getting it

No one else except for a lucky listener tonight

Will get a free signed copy that's sent to them

This is the one right here you're looking at

Number one, I'm going to mark it number one

So we'll see who actually gets this

We've got a prank call game

Prank call related game we're going to be doing tonight

So this is it here, number one

If you want it, pay attention.

All right.

Douche already saying he's getting it.

He's a very cock-sure guy.

Tonight on the line, I don't know how many of you out there listened on Howard 101 on Monday.

The big guy lady right there.

That's right.

I just got off the phone with that Paula Gloria lady,

the lady who got prank called by Richard so much from the Stern Show.

You did?

Oh, she just got off the phone with me at 10 o'clock.

She's like, is this Carlito?

I'm like, yeah.

She's like, do you want to talk to Nico?

I said, 10.30.

She's like, okay, fine.

And she hung up on me.

they live together

anyway

there's this very

eccentric dude

named Nico

Nico

Nico Hitler

anyway

I've made contact

with him

and he's going to

be calling in tonight

we're probably going

to do about 15 minutes

I want to see

if I can get him

to rant like he did

on the air

because he kept

getting his mic

cut off and shit

the guy is a funny dude

anyway

you're also listening

to us on Syndicate Radio

Syndicate Radio.tv

I've been watching

like YouTube

old shows

from their show

their little

streamlines

and started doing YouTube.

Yeah, you saw that, huh?

And pretty much,

it's pretty easy to give him the ranch

from what I've seen.

Okay, all right, awesome.

Well, I'm going to have to favorite

some of his stuff,

for sure, on my own YouTube stuff

because it's very interesting.

I haven't had a chance to see much of it.

I saw some of it.

I saw one where he got lunged at

by some guy and the cops got called on him

or something like that.

That was kind of interesting to see.

I don't know.

He seems like a very interesting dude,

so we'll definitely be looking forward

to talking to the gentleman,

Nico Hitler, Nico Haub, Nico, whatever you go by.

They're some interesting little people, yeah.

That's right.

Very interesante.

Anyway, we'll also be taking your calls and your prank call requests.

Be sure to send them in.

Send it to me in the chat room.

Big what's up to everybody listening tonight.

Lonesome Loser is checking in.

The king of confirmations is in the house.

Mr. Lonesome Loser himself.

He's a gentleman that...

Let me turn his music down a little bit.

Hang on there.

There we go.

He's a gentleman who works diligently here

for the last almost three years

while we're coming up on our one year anniversary show here

in about a month and a half

and as a matter of fact, what day is it today?

The 22nd?

You know what, next Thursday is going to be

the first episode of the last

Next Thursday will be the first

episode of the last calendar

of the last year of the Madhouse Show

in theory, if I do indeed follow through

and finish the show here

next May, end of next May

I don't know if that's going to happen.

So we're almost exactly a year away from the end of the show.

Near the last season.

That's right.

No, yeah, I guess so, kind of.

Not really.

The last fiscal season, I'll say.

But the last season would start in July, technically.

That would be season four.

We're wrapping up season three here at Madhouse Radio.

And I'm sure we'll have a special anniversary show, as we've had every anniversary that we've had here.

It's always fun.

We step it up a notch every time.

Dude, you know what I just realized?

I'm out of phone card minutes, actually.

i gotta go grab the wallet real quick and purchase some minutes i gotta have to play

a prank when i do that uh remind remind me i can't do pranks until i gotta go grab my wall

it'll take me like it takes me like a minute it's really easy i click three times and boom

it's done by the being anyway oh that dang yeah i got a phone card so you probably want to use

your spoof card right yeah i like the spoof card because it archives it for me and everything it's

all recorded you know what i'm saying it's all right there anyway so if you haven't gone yet

head to the madhouse live.com website i actually put some samples up of the pranks that are

available on the cd i figured i'll play one of them here uh why not huh you know give you guys

a taste of what's on anyway it's it's a old prank all of ours here that i'm gonna play

or perhaps not that old well i guess i would i would consider it old uh this one is called

sam the donut man 2 this is part two of a three-part series uh a lot of you have heard

this this is older but um some of our new releases i've heard that it is it is a classic

It is not dull by any means.

Anyway, let me play a part of this year for you folks real quick.

And we'll be back to talk a little bit.

And I guess I said we have an interview starting in about 15 minutes.

So hang in there.

We'll be right back in a moment.

Hey, how you doing?

Good.

What's up, buddy?

Good.

Are you the guy who said fuck you, bitch, motherfucker to me last week?

That's a great call.

Yeah, that was great.

That worked out well.

Fuck you, bitch, motherfucker.

That's it?

Fuck you, bitch, motherfucker.

You happy now?

Fuck you, bitch, motherfucker.

Okay, that's it?

Yeah, that's it.

Fuck you, bitch, motherfucker.

You happy?

Yeah, that's it.

Listen.

No, no, listen.

You listen.

You listen now.

You listen.

Why are you chicken?

You listen.

Come over here if you a man.

Don't talk to me.

It's like chicken.

Wait, wait, wait.

Listen.

Come over here.

I want to see you.

You listen.

Listen.

You listen.

Listen, if you man, you chicken. You snot man, you lady.

You have pussy, you mother fucker. You dick mother fucker.

You are dick, you have pussy mother fucker.

Are you asking me out?

Just come over here.

Are you asking me out?

Don't worry about what you want, you know.

Wait, hold on. Listen.

You hear that?

You happy now?

Yeah, I am.

Mother fucker.

That's good, that's good.

Are you happy?

I'm happy with your mom, yeah. Fuck your mom. Yeah, I'm happy.

Yo, what's up, kid?

Yo, I left my debit card.

Okay.

Yo, did you get my debit card?

My name is Eddie Garcia.

Look on it.

Eddie Garcia.

What's your name?

Eddie Garcia, yo.

Debit card?

Let me check for you.

Hold on.

No, I left my debit card and my military ID.

Okay.

Give me one second.

Let me have a pen for you.

Okay.

I have any credit card here?

Did you check the bathroom?

Yeah.

Hello?

Yeah.

Did you check the bathroom?

I checked the bathroom.

Yes or no?

No.

Motherfucker.

again yes right what are you saying did you know what did you no no i'm serious i'm serious

let me let me that's all folks did you did you know did you know me or no

we don't okay back to us from africa stupid huh from africa for what from africa stupid

mexican no where do you think i'm from from animal zoo no i'm from scotland bitch

Oh, okay, motherfucker. Do you know who's your daddy?

No.

Do you know how many guys fucked your mom before you came?

No.

Go ask her how many guys fucked her before you came.

Tell me. Tell me.

This is crazy, man.

We're back. I got the phone card all charged up.

Anyway, you want to hear the rest of that, go to the website. Figure it out, right?

MadhouseLive.com and shit.

Don't give me a hard time.

Anyway, so let me pull up a quick news article here.

We're going to talk. We're going to spend about...

Oh, yeah, anyway, I forgot to mention here, of course, Tuck.

Tuck's in the house, and Baz, both checking in.

What's up, fellas?

How you doing?

I didn't formally introduce you all.

Good evening, gents.

Good evening.

Hey, hey, hey.

I'm eating some delicious White Castle hamburgers.

Ooh, White Castle, huh?

White Castle sliders?

We don't have a White Castle here, you know.

All we get is that crystal.

I hear crystal is good, but not the same.

I'm almost embarrassed to say this, man.

I got these frozen at Sam's Club.

Oh, really?

I've seen those.

I saw them in a vending machine once.

They had White Castle little packages you could put in the microwave next to the vending machine.

I didn't follow through with that.

Let's call Nico here.

Let's tell Nico to go ahead and call into the line.

Let me go ahead and accelerate here a little bit.

A weird phone set up there.

It's very odd.

They're very polite people.

I wonder if this Nico is like this all the time.

Anyway, we have plenty of news articles that we can talk about if I can't get them on the line here.

Specifically, I'm trying to get this Nico dude on the line.

And it is not ringing yet.

I guess you kind of need to sort of explain a little bit of what Nico is.

You tell me.

You did some research.

You did more than I did.

All I know is that he's a conspiracy theorist.

A very eccentric one at that.

I mean, the guy is just off the wall in his thinking.

And actually, I just like, you know, I really should have probably gotten the audio of the guy talking.

You know, in hindsight, that probably would have been a good idea.

You know, I could have just ripped the show from Monday and played some of that audio.

Unfortunately, no.

I know that they replayed him on Tuesday on the Stern Show as well,

so he's a funny guy.

But whatever, you know.

No love had, no love lost.

I think that showed that he was on YouTube somewhere.

Anyway, here's something I wanted to talk about.

Microsoft, MSN, I guess you could call them.

Not MSN, but the Microsoft Xbox Live community people who are running that.

Okay?

You know, with the online gaming now and Xbox 360,

you basically set up your little gamer tag,

and that basically goes around with you on all your games that you play online you keep your

stats and it's a whole community out there based around everybody's gamer tag and whatever so on

and so forth anyway there's a guy whose name is richard gaywood i kid you not his honest to

goodness name is richard gaywood first name richard aka dick last name gaywood one word

g-a-y-w-o-o-d anyway he had his username his first and last name nobody who really does that

Who puts their first and last name up there, Mike Tucker?

Richard Gaywood, one word, was his...

Isn't it a real first name?

Yeah.

I think it's not T-U-C-K.

Yeah, exactly.

So Richard Gaywood had his gamertag banned by Microsoft

despite the fact that it's his real name.

That's pretty funny.

I mean, if anybody out there, I don't know where the guy lives.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I have no idea where the guy lives.

like it doesn't say in the article but it would be fun to talk to dick gaywood

it is kind of funny though you know really especially if you know you have the name

richard gaywood why make your gamer tag that just pick something else like hans brixman or

something you know or brock strongo or something like that something cool parents obviously

traumatize them bad enough now microsoft has to get in an action and kick him yeah i mean the

The fact that Gay is in his last name is really bad.

Then you got the word Wood in the same.

That's bad enough.

Then they have to call you son Richard on top of that.

So it's Dick Gaywood.

How do the parents not, I don't know how old he is.

It doesn't say how old he is.

I'm wondering, because if he's in his 20s, it's like, man, you know, that means he was born in the 80s.

You know his parents had to have known something, you know, unless they were really fucking dense.

Anyway, so.

Cruel.

Yeah, Microsoft banned his name, Richard Gaywood.

Because, you know, if I saw it, I wouldn't figure that's someone's first and last name.

I'm figuring something's like, I'm Dick Gaywood.

I think it was like some 15, you know, 14-year-old at home.

You know, like the Juke kids over there.

Like, oh, yeah.

It'll be Richard Gaywood.

It'll be so funny.

It probably is.

Yeah, that's probably what it was anyway.

And here's another article, a news story.

It says Alabama Sheriff.

They change their names like every day.

Yeah.

If you have like a Facebook or something or MySpace, they change their names like every day.

You know, every day.

Yeah, you can make it something different every time.

every day it's something completely yeah i know what you're talking about hang on let me let me

try to try to reach these people man come on maybe they're upset but i denied them their

interview at 10 o'clock sharp i told the guy at 10 30 told me to give him a reminder oh well

hopefully they call in at 10 30 hope i let him piss him off by blowing him off but we know we

can't just i told the guy 10 30 10 30 man and we got to keep this guy on a short leash because

he's like crazy fucker like times 75 like an extra 75 on top of that he goes off so we got

we gotta be quick to control i mean it's gonna take a lot of containment on my spot

on my part um anyway here's another new story actually why don't we just do a prank call we

got five minutes let's just do a fucking prank right i know um milk milkman will be joining us

at 11 o'clock at around 11 p.m uh milkman will be joining us via uh telephone he's gonna be

calling in he's not gonna be live on his show for about a month or two he says because of his

new work schedule but after that he should be able to go back to a normal daytime schedule

We got to fill in for him.

We got to sort of fill in that whole big old hole.

We're going to have to, yeah.

We're going to have to.

Well, I mean, between you, Baz, and Kokanee, and Ted when he's around, and Jim Stewart,

I think you guys might.

Ted whenever he shows up.

Yeah, you guys might be enough to fill in the space that's voided by his big ass.

They'll still know, dude.

They'll still know.

We won't fool no about it.

Okay, we got the National Wasp WW2 Museum.

What is the wasp?

Is that for like actual?

What is a wasp?

You know what, and I've asked this before, and I've never gotten a straight answer.

I'm a Puerto Rican, so I don't know.

What does WASP stand for, or what does it mean?

Like, I hear white people, like, I'm a WASP.

I think it's the Air Force, the Women's Air Force.

It's the Women's Army Air Force.

No, but actually, the White Anglo-Saxon Protestant.

If WAX was, say, like the Army or something.

Okay, all right.

It was for the Women's, World War II era.

Like the Women's Corps, okay.

But then, Baz, you're saying, you said it's white, what now?

White Anglo-Saxon Protestant.

white anglo-saxon protestant okay so basically like your normal white bread white white guy

wonder bread guy right all right i got you all right one wonder bread white anglo-saxon protestant

that's so stupid and stuck up i'm a white anglo-saxon protestant what if you're catholic

are you a wasp what if you're catholic a wasp i'm a wasp hey all right so we're gonna call

National Wasp

WW2

World War II

Museum

We gotta cut this

Quick

It's gotta be a quick call

Snappy snappy

That's what I'm saying

The WW2

Means

The

Air Force

Women

Who flew planes

During that era

Women

They didn't let women

They didn't let

They didn't let women

Fly planes

If they did

That explains a lot

Yeah they did wasps

That's where the wasp was

Yeah not

On the front lines

Or nothing

I'm gonna tell you people

Something

you know who really uh this might be a shock to all you americans listening out there but

um it's kind of like i really sometimes believe that russia really kind of won world war ii not

really the united states i don't know we were just kind of set up but then we went on to kick you

know ass in the pacific so we get that problem yeah but i hate the burst you bubble if you didn't

know about this but it's kind of like russia kind of did kick a lot more ass than the united states

did and uh they're the ones that actually you know went into berlin first and stuff so they

They kind of get the claim for making...

They were more driven than we were.

He would kill himself.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, they went for more shit.

Yeah.

They went for a lot of shit.

But we still kicked...

Hey, Normandy, we...

We got Normandy.

Normandy was badass, you know.

Perf...

You know, it was fun.

That was kick-ass right there.

I saw it.

It was badass.

I'm not putting it down.

But, you know, the Russians got...

The Russians got defeated and lost millions of people

all the way up to, like, what?

A few hundred miles away from their capital.

and then they got saved by some big

intense Russian winner

and by then they said Hitler was crazy

and he was like leave him up there

anyway let's get out of here

everybody we're going to do a prank call real quick

we got 30 seconds to do a prank call

alright

we'll be right back in a moment

with Nico on the line

hang on folks

Nico Hitler

it's good to have a serving of that

and red wine once a day

So, listening to you, an essay for you and everyone else that was involved,

definitely a great show, and hopefully leads to more opportunities on that venue.

But we want to know more about you specifically.

Are you indeed German, or what is your ethnicity or your nationality?

We've seen some of your videos, and we're actually registered to vote.

So, yeah, that's good.

That will fill a particular void that's in the city of New York, I think.

That's very, very positive.

Hopefully that works out for you.

So, what are you about exactly?

Website, mashups.com.

I'm sorry if I'm mispronouncing, misquote.

Someone had stolen your porn.

Can you explain?

I found that quote.

I was actually concerned about that.

If you go into more detail about that,

or some police report,

is this what you're talking about?

Innocent man.

Been doing very

violent things.

You got a point.

I mean, people have free reign over there to be violent, from what I understand.

They drive like crazy in an Autobahn.

The sound makes perfect sense.

I think I'm starting to see the picture.

Nico, let's take a break.

When you say that you've committed a few pre-calls yourself to do something that made you not want to do calls,

did that affect you somehow, or did it just become much dangerous?

I became a person that people would like to believe.

Okay.

It's almost like this world, this country needs a bit of a sometimes, you know?

Real quick, and actually, I want to ask you to do a prank call with me here.

We're going to call the National World War II Museum.

All right.

Who else is with you there, if I may ask?

Here we are on speakerphone.

Is anybody else there with you now?

All right, so if you don't mind holding, you're going to hear a series of noises,

and we're going to have a World War II museum on the line.

You're more than welcome to jump into a tirade as Nico Hitler.

I would like you to actually jump in, if you don't mind.

I would just ask you no threats on anybody's life or anything like that, of course.

That's the only rule.

Thank you very much.

Everybody, please hang on.

We have a special prank call here.

Let's see if they answer.

Hopefully this goes well.

Thank you, sir, again.

And hi to everybody over there who's listening along with you over there.

Hey, guys.

We'll be right back in a moment with the first prank call.

Everybody, this is Madhouse Radio.

I have to announce my prank calls as prank calls.

Do you think this guy's for real?

In what way?

Hey, it depends on what you mean by real.

I know, man.

Ma'am, this is Mary Ann.

Mary Ann, good evening, sister.

How are you doing tonight, my dear?

Calling, please.

This is Valente.

I'm here on the line with my friend Nico.

He came in earlier.

He thinks he might have lost something, so I wanted to connect you.

Are you getting ready to close?

Yes, but you know what?

I have a friend who's in Sweetwater, and I'm sure he'll be glad to open up the museum for you.

Oh, I mean, is this a personal line we've reached?

Yeah, he left to work late in the night, and just let me call him for you, and he'll come.

He's got a key.

Well, let me have, Nico, can you, what did you lose exactly?

I'm sorry, you're breaking up.

Try to speak up a little bit, Nico, or get off the speakerphone just temporarily, if you can.

He's going to tell you what he lost exactly.

Yeah, well, I lost my pawn collection after I came to Deaton.

this man obviously came in

he brought his items with him

and they were taken from him

he's of German descent

and we understand that perhaps there's a bit of

monocity there among the staff

we hate to make accusations but this man

yeah yeah yeah

give me your story tomorrow

I think we'll give you your story

the story now and you're going to act

sooner than later

or I'm going to

emotional stability

Powerful message that this man is bringing to the world.

This is not fair, ma'am.

She's gone.

We're going to do one.

Don't go anywhere.

No, Nico, you need to look into these spoof cards that I buy.

They spoof your caller ID, brother.

Yes.

We'll talk.

Hey, sir, how you doing, buddy?

Is this the City Diner?

Hey, good.

I understand this is the Fag City Diner.

Very excited about coming in.

My friend came in.

He happened to have left something there.

I was wondering if you maybe had found it.

He left it with his items at the front, and we were told the manager was going to review it.

Are you the manager?

Okay, what is your purpose there?

Absolutely.

Thank you, thank you.

Just a moment.

Let me lead this in, brother, man.

I got an idea.

You're from Germany.

Dr. Haust.

Dr. Haust, yes.

Folks, we'll be concluding the next prank call of the night.

This is Madhouse Radio.

May 22nd.

Nico's on the line.

Nico Hitler.

911videomashups.com.

You've got to hate music, too.

Why even play music?

I just like beeps.

Perhaps we can discuss it with you.

I think we can get the message across.

I've got Dr. Haust on the line.

I'm Valente.

Hey, Dr. House is from Germany, Bavaria, and he owns his own brewery, sir,

and he wants to make you a special offer, some cut-rate, fine alcohol from the island of Germany.

Yeah, I'm concerned we have a risk with life.

He's calling from Germany, sir. You've got to be patient.

I'm calling from Germany.

That's okay.

I've got someone else calling in three minutes, actually,

but I want to thank you again for his podcast.

I've got to ban the whole IRS. You guys should look into that.

All right, good. That is Nico, everybody.

Wow, that was something. I'll tell you what.

That was the best idea I ever had.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something to eat, yeah.

Boy, howdy.

Good one and a long one.

I'm telling you, we're becoming something here that we had.

Sean Moore two weeks ago.

We had Jen Stewart last week.

This week we have Nico.

What's next?

We've got to get the touchstone terrorist on here.

Or one of the jerky boys.

That would be something, huh?

Huh?

That'd be good.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

You can get Jimmy Brennan.

Jimmy Fallon?

What the fuck do I want Jimmy Fallon for?

Columbia Bridge.

No worries.

But whatever.

A person with a vagina on the vagina, then, sir, I'm not going to go for that.

I'm sorry.

This is a Christian house that we're broadcasting out of,

but we don't do that thing here.

You're a fucking trip.

No wonder you call yourself douche.

You going to buy the new CD?

Did you see the new CDs out, man?

Yeah, I am, I am.

Do you pace when you talk on the phone?

Yeah, you do.

You do, don't you?

No, man, I do.

You know what?

When I'm on the phone in the house,

I pace up and down the whole house.

I walk like a whole fucking mile

if I'm talking to someone long distance, man.

Why?

I don't know.

I have to pace.

I don't know what it is.

I'm nervous as fuck.

I'll just start pacing the house on the phone.

I don't like the steal, man.

I don't like the steal that you're...

Oh, well, you know.

I mean, complaints, follow through, all the paperwork, man.

You gotta have a lady on the line.

We just like talking...

You see, the thing is, you need to start pulling your weight.

You want to get on the line here.

There's been some trouble.

I'll let you on the line, but you have to have a lady on the line.

Because we need to...

No women call this show.

We get Eve the Queer for calling in maybe every once in a while.

That's about it.

Any lady?

Any who?

Any lady.

It would be your old lady, your mom, your dad.

Not your dad, but he's not a lady.

But any lady, anything.

What about my grandma?

Yeah, your grandma works too.

But you have to call her.

You've got to be on the line already, ready to go when you call in, man.

So when does this new thing take effect?

When does this take effect?

It took effect last week.

I know we're talking here.

I'm giving you a pass.

But I'm about to hang up on you, brother, man.

But again, the next time you call in, it better be with the lady on the line

or it's going to be a short conversation.

You know what I mean?

Okay, so why do you want ladies on the line?

What happened?

We were told, we got a complaint from Dr. Lego

that we need to start having more women listening to the show.

Demographics are low as far as women are concerned.

Tuck, you got the numbers, right?

I mean, what are we down to?

Like, what do we got, like a two-share in women?

18 to 32?

You need to get a female.

Something like that.

Yeah, well, no, she doesn't want to be involved.

She can be.

I mean, she doesn't count as a listener.

One percent, maybe.

Yeah, she doesn't really have to count.

Yeah, we've...

So, maybe.

Maybe.

We're trying to hit our demographics, Bruce Columbia.

You don't need to be asking questions.

You just need to follow the rules.

This is a sausage party show, and it's all because of you, dude.

You're bringing us down.

Columbia, I'm going to let you go.

We'll talk to you later, all right, man?

I'll call and play in an hour with the lady, maybe, you know?

All right, I'm looking forward to it.

Impress me, man.

Ben, do I get to talk for as long as I want?

You get to talk for, like, five minutes.

You get to talk for a good long while if you do, all right?

Okay.

There we go.

Jesus, God damn sausage party show.

We got people like this guy over here.

He sounds like he's jerking it when he calls.

I really hope, I want to hope he's pacing.

Because I hear him, he's like, you know, he wants to go through my dirty laundry and get my dirty underwears.

Dirty underwears, Tuck.

Classy people call it underwears.

You just call it underwear.

It's more than one wear, you know.

And what do we call one pair of pants?

A pair of pants instead of a pair of pants.

Whatever.

Anyway, so more prank calls coming.

Andy.

Andy's in the house.

Hey, Andy.

Yeah, that's right.

I forgot.

Former co-host of this mothership.

Andy's in the house.

What's up, dude?

Checking in the chat room.

Pretty kicking as far as the chat room's concerned over on Syndicate.

Everyone's having a good old time over there.

Anyway, so it's time for the contest here.

If you want to get the copy of the first Madhouse Radio CD.

What contest?

Autograph the contest I'm doing, man.

I really hope people participate.

This is a free freaking CD I'm going to mail you, dude.

It's a legitimate CD, all right?

It's not some bullshit.

Look at this.

show you here you gotta call in you gotta play the game okay and i'll tell you i wanted to say

what it was but now milkman's calling in that's right it's 11 o'clock what's up man

so we're looking at like a month or two before you can come back on the show like on the satellite

deal something like that man actually i'm right here by awesome yeah thanks for listening tv man

You know what, man?

I got a leg, you guys.

This is a vehicle.

It's fast drive.

Oh, man.

I want you to be the...

We got a new contest we're doing here.

This is some...

I'm buying this from another older radio show that used to be on the air a long time ago.

But let's still wait.

The show's gone.

You can say, basically...

So let's say you would say chicken, right?

Those are your three words.

You call in or you chat and you'd say beef, pork, and chicken, right?

Let's say Lonesome Loser has sent us a business.

My job is to get them to say the word beef without me saying the word beef.

You know what I'm trying to say?

Exactly.

I thought about doing this and I never did,

but I actually heard an old episode of this guy's show.

And Andy's saying, I'm ripping off Drew Garoppolo.

That's right, I am ripping him off.

He's not on the air.

He's not.

Who said that?

Andy.

Do you remember Big Andy, your friend?

Andy, what's up?

You couldn't?

That guy.

He's moving in on your territory.

You're gone.

He's getting ready to start co-hosting the show again.

He's not getting in that 300-pound market.

I've got a smaller flop than that, man.

So that's what we do.

That's the game.

and I'm supposed to get them to say the word

without me actually saying the word.

You know what I mean?

So I'll be like, hey, you got pizza.

I want that cow on it.

You know, cow.

What do you call that, cow meat?

Beef.

Yeah, you win.

All right.

You see, and so if I'm successful,

if I'm successful in getting them to say the word,

you win the game, you get the prize,

you get the CD.

That's my idea.

All right, so Milkman,

go ahead and give me three words real quick,

just three random words if you can.

I know this is hard for you to do,

thinking stuff on the fly.

I usually have to script the entire show for you.

Okay, all right.

We'll be here for like five minutes.

Car.

Truck.

Bicycle.

Car, truck, and bicycle.

All right, I'm going to go with car.

That should be the easiest one to do.

All right, and so we're going to call, let's see here, Charlie Brown's Club.

All right, this is in Fort Worth, Texas.

This is Charlie Brown's Club, and I'm going to try to say the word car without me actually

should see in the word card. Let's see if this is a viable

game. I don't know. If not, you know, we can just

stick to normal pranks.

It's a game that's too complex, though. It's doable.

Yeah, and I don't know. We'll see.

Anyway, so, hey, I might be, I might start

doing a Saturday show. Are you going to be working Saturdays,

man? I probably will,

but I flexed and I didn't last.

I'll be getting an air card. Maybe I'll, like, do my

observations and come back and be able to actually

do the normal. That's going to sound

great, I bet. That's going to be great audio quality

from Milkman. I can't wait for that one.

Yeah, man, I'll have a, I'll get a laptop, a card for my laptop this week, actually.

Anyway.

So be it.

All right, dude, we'll be right back with the next prank call of the night.

This is the, uh, the three word game, I'm going to call it, I guess.

Right back at him.

One of the four beasts saying, come and see.

And I saw.

And behold, a white horse.

Sure will.

Charlie Browns?

Jesus, how much are spaces?

How much is it to use your spaces?

Building?

No, no, I just want to use, you know, when I go down there to the, to the, to your

your location to the club i want to use one of your spaces so i want to know how much it is do

you charge to use the spaces or you know this is a nightclub that's what i'm saying i mean when i

come down to my machine use one of your spaces how much is it what kind of machine are you talking

about the thing that i'm you know when i come and i come in it you know i get to the place like hey

take the keys where what are you you know what are you going to put in the spaces

What machine are you talking about?

Well that's what I'm- you know what I'm- you know, I gotta have- you gotta have the spaces there for the machine.

What machines are you talking about?

The driving machine.

Driving?

Yeah!

You need to get a grip.

You need to get a grip? I don't know what you're saying, I gotta think more than two things.

Dumbass. That's what I'm talking about, what's your machine? What do you think you dumb bitch? Say it, it's a car.

That's the fucking game.

what is going on in the background is there a fire you got a code blue you got a you got a

code brown back there milkman huh watch out for la migra everybody there's an alert everybody

look out milkman's reporting here la migra is out so dino it might be best for you to go ahead and

sign off who else dtt you know after 9-11 definitely uh you got to watch out for la migra

uh sidekick chuck he's asian he could be vietnamese you don't know la migra man watch out

Immigration

They're coming

And you too

The Canadians out there

Watch out too

You know

You guys are

Immigrants

Kokany says

He always takes

At least 45 minutes

To shine his work boots

Wow

That's some

Wow

That's like army stuff

That's like

Fucking JROTC

Right there man

I've got some

I'm gonna turn him

On to some product dude

And you can

You can shine your shoes

In about

Like 3 minutes

Just

Just go

Go to the airport

And have them do it

That's black.

Oh, hello there, Mr.

Hello there, Mr. Coconut.

That'd be easy.

You got to give him 15.

You know what pisses me off, Milkman?

You know, last weekend, I went to a damn, I went to a restaurant.

I had a nice dinner with Athena.

You know, you hate it.

I go, you know, I didn't really have to go to the bathroom.

I make a habit.

When I go out, you know, to dinner, when I'm done, I go to the bathroom, and I just wash my hands.

You know what I mean?

I like to be clean, right?

I go there, and sure enough, if there's not a Haitian guy in a chair sitting there

with his colognes all out in the corner looking for a handout, you know?

So I go, I do my number one, and I come out, and I'm like,

all right, I've got to wash my hands, you know?

And here he comes behind me, and he's giving me soap and a towel and all this shit.

And you've got to give him a dollar, right?

You've got to give him some cash.

Yeah, man, that's a high-level, yeah, yeah, yeah, upscale town, uptown version.

He comes behind me, he's like fixing my shoulders, like my shirt, and lining me up right.

So here's the deal.

Now I wash my hands.

Now I'm going to reach into my wallet and pull out a dirty, nasty dollar.

My hand's all dirty again.

I'm not washing my hands, man.

I can get the soap.

I can get the towel.

But I tell him, no, no, no, it's okay.

Don't do anything.

I don't want to pay you.

I can handle it myself.

You can't do that to the guy.

That's because you're an asshole.

Now you're obligated to give the guy a dollar just because he did something that you could have done on your own.

I don't think the guy spoke English.

He was just impatient, dude.

He probably didn't.

But can you imagine, like, the kind of trauma that he goes through?

He's asking what colognes.

I know he's got, like, these cheap colognes.

I think they had, like, Aspen, you know, Stetson,

like, what, Preferred Stock.

He probably had that Michael Jordan cologne that came out.

Remember that Michael Jordan cologne that smelled like grass and ass?

Yeah.

All the white kids are like,

Like, we're going to get into Michael Jordan cologne.

Slam dunk.

I just took, I had a big

shave here in the restaurant of the steakhouse that I'm coming to.

Let me touch up mine.

You notice you need to shave your crotch a little.

Maybe that's good because you're bringing a lady home, let's say.

You're having a good first date.

You're going to get home.

You're going to get some stinky pinky, and you notice, oh, my God,

I got a bit of, you know, bushage down there.

You got guys, kids out there who are listening, all the teens,

be sure that you trim that bush a little bit.

Keep things nice and trim.

Women like it

And it makes your wang look bigger

I highly suggest

All you young guys out there

Regularly get a man groomer

Or something like that

And maintain yourself

Sculpt it

Douche does it

He says right there

DTT does it

They're all into not shaving anything

DTT has a

Big ol' billy goat beard

I bet you anything

He looks like ZZ Top

He's a turban man

He's got that bad ass turban

You go to hell for shave

Over there

DT's land

Destruction zone out, you know, I'm on a flight at 47, and, you know, a couple other, you know, weapons and stuff up there.

My weapon's a mass detonation.

Weapon's a mass detonation?

Yeah, mass detonation.

Mass, mass, mass detonation.

Okay, cool.

Mass destruction.

All right, Milkman, three more words, why don't you, man, if you don't mind.

Let's try that again.

Someone's in the break room.

All right, milk, coffee, and soap?

Coke.

Coffee or Coke.

I'm going to do coffee.

I'm going to pick all the Golden Crown Restaurant and Lounge.

of China.

What makes a place a lounge?

What's a lounge?

That means to have a section

where when you first get there

you can have a drink

and smoke a cigar.

You know what I mean?

You can...

The smoke room or something.

You know, you put on

your smoking jacket.

Most places, yeah.

Most places are allowed

to smoke

and you can...

Saigon says it's couches

where you sit around

and talk to whores.

You got a point.

Any place with couches.

I like going to places

that got nice big couches.

Like that bookstore I go to.

What's it called, Tuck?

You know the name.

No, I don't like that.

Borders.

Borders is the one I like.

They got...

Couches that are probably really nasty and infected with germs

because everyone probably has sex on them and shit, nasty stuff.

Or sweaty people sitting in them, Asian people.

Anyway, so we're going to be right back with the next call of the night.

This is the Golden Crown Restaurant and Lounge of China.

God, that's a long-ass name.

That's too much. Too many words, man.

Keep your business name short, people.

Just a moment.

Hello?

Still taking orders?

Okay, great. I'd like to make an order.

Will I still be able to come in and get a seat?

So I'm going to come in now asking about your beverages.

I really enjoy to come in.

I know it's kind of late, but there's nothing better than after my meal to sit down and just drink something warm, you know.

I just, I had a, I'm on some blood thinners and I got coldness.

Do you guys have soup?

What do you think?

I don't want like soup.

I don't like, I'm not a big fan of the soup.

What would you recommend I drink perhaps to warm myself up?

We have coffee.

We have tea.

All right, so I'm going to come and get some coffee.

I really, really enjoy, like, a cigarette.

There's nothing better than puffing on a cigarette.

I mean, you guys have a rule about smoking in there?

You can't smoke in the restaurant.

You can smoke in the lounge.

I'll tell you what.

You guys have chocolate cake?

So what desserts do you have?

Ice cream?

Have you ever had the delight of taking your coffee, dumping about, I don't know, four

tablespoons of sugar into it, and then you plop some ice cream on top a la mode, and

And you sip on that with a nice, long, ginny, slim cigarette.

Do you drink coffee?

Do you like tea?

Well, you're Chinese.

You don't drink tea?

Not.

You sound kind of...

What are you?

Japanese?

I'm American.

I'm white.

Cantonese?

Nope, just white.

Are you a wasp?

Is there anything else I can do for you, sir?

Well, I would like to make an arrangement for her to have my cigarette with my coffee and ice cream.

Come on in.

Yeah, but you said that I can't do it in the restaurant.

I've got to go to the lounge like some other person lounging around.

Look at the lazy fat man.

Man, drinking his coffee in his big fat cigarette.

That's bullshit.

Don't hang up on me.

We're going to call her back.

Lady, why are you encroaching on my as a nicotine addict to live like a human being?

Fucking bitch.

Yes, I would like to speak to the manager, please.

I would like to speak with the manager, please.

Can I have your name, please?

This is Valente.

Who am I speaking with, please?

It's the manager.

Can I have your name, please, and your phone number?

I would like your name and your phone number first.

I think you are.

No, no, no.

Who calls the Golden Crown doesn't mean you know what's my phone number.

I am the customer, and I am always right.

What is your name?

I asked you, what's your name?

I told you, Valente.

What's wrong with you?

Pay attention, lady.

Valente, hello.

You know what?

You've been calling a couple times in here.

Yes, and I'm complaining that woman who was on the line really hung up on me.

I just want my cigarette.

What do you mean you want your cigarette?

Some lady said I could have my cigarette with my ice cream and coffee.

That's bull hockey.

You know what, sir?

She called me the N-word.

No, he did not.

She did not.

Yes, she did.

I heard her.

She was next to me.

She talked to you.

She called me the N-word.

No, she did not say the N-word.

Yes, she did.

I'm going to tell all friends.

Okay, I'm going to go ahead and call a cop.

Do you know who I am?

I'm on the TV.

I'm going to call him and go after him.

That was kind of fun, and that all started with that game.

Oh, look, Valentine's no persona.

Genius.

Slims.

Paul says, don't Virginia Slims have flowers printed on them?

Yes, they do.

Those are the flowers that wasp women smoke.

Kiss a cigarette.

Paul says, I had some kind of Slim cigarettes when I was 12 that had flowers on them.

I think they were Virginia Slims.

I'm pretty sure those are the ones.

I said it was Ami4.

Capri?

Mistys are the ones, too.

They look like potpourri.

The size of like a lollipop dick, you know what I mean?

He says he likes half a Cuban cigar and half wheat.

Wow, you got some

fucking shit there.

By some.

Who doesn't?

Yeah.

We get them to say one,

you know,

I'll try and get them

to say the other two.

Let's go for the one.

I mean,

we could go for like

the trifecta, I guess.

Get them to say all three

and get bonus points.

Alright,

Nunu says his three words

are bollocks,

pillock,

to get those

unless you do UK.

But see,

the thing is,

I have no idea what

pillock is.

What is a pillock?

L-O-C-K.

What is that?

That sounds very...

We don't know.

Only we know what pillock is.

That sounds like

one of those

We were asking him that the other day.

We never got a straight answer.

And Burke.

What the fuck is a B-E-R-K?

That doesn't even sound like an insult.

What the fuck is a Burke?

Anyway, so...

Fuck.

I don't know what that is either.

Everyone, send in your three words if you want.

And if we get it to work, I will send you an autographed copy of the first Madhouse CD.

I really don't think I'm going to sell any of them.

I'm not aiming to.

I think they're mostly going to be for giveaway.

Man, dude, we're going to sell so many.

We're not going to even do it.

Here are the people who download the CD.

It's a free download.

All the calls are up on the site anyway.

It's not like you're getting anything that you can't get anywhere else.

But it is, you know, it's got original art.

You're helping support the show.

And it's autographed.

It's a legit-looking CD.

Did I open it yet?

Did I show you people?

I mean, this is not some bullshit production here.

This is a nice-looking CD right there.

You're looking at it right there.

Let me get it close right there.

It says it's got 98.6 The Mouth on it.

See it right there.

There's not some paper, kind of, it's going to fade in a week kind of cover, you know, CD.

It's an actual, really good looking CD.

There's the back cover right there you're looking at.

It's got all the tracks and the thank yous and the different information.

You see, if you're looking on cam, you see what I'm talking about.

That's the CD right there.

It'll be autographed right here, right in front.

That's CD number one.

Hopefully I get to sell it and to save that one.

Milkman, you're getting yours in the mail.

Tuck's going to get one, of course.

Everyone, you know, Baz, I think I have Baz in here.

Who did I thank in this CD?

Let me see.

Athena, Milkman, Tuck, Lonesome Loser,

Reklu, Jen Stewart, Ted Webb,

Kokanee, Baz, Brandon Vegas,

Gain Green, Hollywood Vanya,

Zolard, Dr. Lego, Dino, Syndicate Radio,

and Andy, and all our fans.

Those are all the thanks on the Madhouse CD,

as a matter of fact.

There you go.

It's a good hour worth of good prank calls.

It's good stuff.

I guess I did forget Nunu.

I just realized.

I forgot.

I didn't put Nunu on.

I didn't pass my Kiko call.

Wow, well, everyone, let's pretend Nunu's on there, too.

I really should have put Nunu on there, my bad.

I knew I forgot fucking a few of them.

God damn it.

And DTT's mad I forgot him.

Nunu says Berk is an idiot.

That's what he says that means.

He gave a long description that comes on an idiot, okay?

So there we go.

Zor says, no, KDK, no, I didn't thank KDK for this one.

Yeah.

Sorry, dude.

Anyway, so let's just do a regular...

Let's, uh, I did play that.

Even though he created it all.

Yeah, he did.

All right, call the House of Flying Monkeys.

This was in Spanaway, Washington.

We're going to give that a call.

Is Ted on the list?

Ted Webb is on the list.

Not Ted, Ted Webb.

You know what I mean?

Big difference.

Right back in a moment with the next prank call of the night.

We are calling the House of Flying Monkeys.

Just a moment, folks.

Don't go anywhere.

Man, how's radio?

Yeah.

Wicked.

Submission from Clay with a three-word.

Ball, crayon, and stick.

We'll take ball.

all. House of Flying Monkeys? Deal. Hey, are you guys still seating, making seating arrangements

tonight, man? Fuck. Yeah, yeah, it is. Here, real quick for you. I came in there earlier. Use your

spaces. You know when you change the oil, sir? This. Listen, listen, buddy. Listen, listen to me.

Listen to me. I parked my car there. I checked my oil twice a day. I got an oil leak. You know,

I came out. I put the cardboard under the car because I don't want to mess up your deal. I'm

sorry if I got oil all over the place, but I added about a quart of oil to my car. It loses

is about a quart every half a day like after every trip i got to put in a good good quarter

of a quart and it was down a quart i filled it up left the cap off you know what i'm talking

about you used to check it on the floor i have no idea i found the cap but i can't find it was

all i got all over your pavement there with a bug that's what i'm saying i wanted to bring

in some cat litter you see can you look there for my stuff though you know what i'm talking

about that one thing yes that's the dipstick that's right nothing out there i tell you tell

Tell you what, I got an idea here.

I say we just burn the damn oil off the damn fucking pavement, man.

Because I don't need this kind of trouble.

I don't need my insurance premium to go up, man.

I got to trade information with you.

I'm going to bring in my papers.

You give me your papers.

And then, I mean, I know you got to file a claim against me, dude.

I'm really sorry, but that's what I'm saying.

I messed up the space.

I know we got to trade information.

It was an accident.

It was a car accident, dude.

We have to do this the right way.

You need to give me your information.

By law, you have to give me your information.

Are you the owner of this, man?

All right, so where do you keep your papers in the safe?

Where's the safe at?

Well, you got the papers.

We need to trade information, dude.

He's not having this conversation.

All right, that was fun.

Switching to stick at the last minute.

I didn't get a chance to say it, so Clay, congratulations, man.

You won the game.

You get the first CD on the fly, too, man.

So send me your address.

I'll be sure to send it.

I'm going to sign that here live on the air.

Sweet Kiss is sent in three words, cat, dog, and bird.

That's kind of interesting.

We'll give that a try.

Cat, dog, and bird.

Everyone, be sure to go over to SyndicateRadio.tv

and, you know, check out the whole Syndicate Radio family.

Zolar will be on tomorrow night at 9 p.m. Eastern Standard Time.

That's, what time is that? Pacific, 6 p.m. your time, right, Milkman?

Zolar Party Nation.

Zolar Party Nation tomorrow night at 9 Eastern, 6 Pacific.

And there's basically, there's programming here all week on Syndicate Radio.

Be sure to listen.

And we're also, of course, on the new PCU Radio, PCUradio.com,

the biggest rotation of royalty-free prank calls on the Internet.

That's run by Ted, a good friend.

He provides us with our TeamSpeak server, of course.

And it's not the old KDK days of PCU.

He is an inferior, ineffective, uninfluential, funny person.

That's all I have to say about that.

Let's just leave it at that because he really pisses me off sometimes at KDK.

It's going to be me and him one day.

I'm telling you, everybody.

Mark my words.

No, he didn't invent it all.

You're going to open Prime Call Weekly one day,

and you're going to see a story that KDK got his tires slashed.

Let me not talk anymore.

All right, Milkman, Recluse Chicken, how much longer do I got you for, bro?

Oh, man.

That's not nice.

Huh?

Let me know.

You're good.

You're good to stay on the line.

I'm just going to keep doing some more prank calls.

Let me get some background music here.

Let me talk about a news article quick.

Take a quick break from the prankage.

I do got to take a break.

Actually, Milkman, I'm up against a hard break, man.

Oh, okay.

Well, I'll put the news article in there.

One of the poopers has already found my home.

One of the poopers? The dogs already?

One of the baby poopers, right.

Wow.

And they're just getting to where they're just starting to want to bark a little bit.

That's crazy.

I have a little girl.

I have you want to have this young madhouse pooper, baby pooper,

get a hold of Claudio or me or Sweet Kitchens and we'll hook you right up.

Okay. Good deal.

All right.

Well, Clay is saying he's not a CD buyer or a CD receiver.

So he's passing on the prize

Alright, so it's up for grabs for somebody else

Maybe we won't even give out the damn first CD

Maybe we'll just give it out at random

Someone's got to win the damn CD

He doesn't have a CD player?

He doesn't want... I don't know

Maybe he just uses MP3s

Download it then, you damn bastard

Hey Milkmaid, do you think you can wait for five minutes

Or are you going to be gone by then?

No, I'll be gone

All right, so what if I put you at home for five minutes and I take a break?

Because I really got to do a number one, you know what I mean?

All right.

We got an issue here.

All right, everybody, we're going to take a break here real quick.

This is Madhouse Radio.

It is almost Friday.

It's 1128 p.m. Eastern.

We're looking at the unofficial start to the weekend.

Play something from Mimic Theater and Clay's vinyl collection.

Yeah, I'll do that.

Okay.

Refuse charity from Carlito.

Clay, you're on notice, sir.

How dare he refuse?

The needle only plays 78.

Big Soul says, give it to me.

Big Soul said it in three words.

You win, you get the damn CD.

That's all I got to say, brother man.

I'm kidding, Clay.

It's all good.

Anyway, when we come back, we got more pranks to do.

We got the Windy Gap Bar.

We got Leslie Nateri.

She's the mother of actress Hayden Panetteri,

best known for her role as Claire Bennett in the TV series Heroes.

Oh, really?

Claire?

Claire Bear?

Oh, yeah.

That's what I'm talking about.

The cheerleader who must be saved.

That's the one.

This man is next up for the game.

he sent in cricket nutrition and copper cricket nutrition and copper those are some that's those

are some interesting words uh fetus man i'll go with that fetus man it's up for the prize up next

after the break what was that cricket trition copper just send me hey dude it's your it's it's

up to them to give me the easy ones if they give me the hard ones that they're out and win the

prize you know what i mean it's up to them i machine monkey my friends anyway so we'll be

right back in just a moment uh please stay tuned as i said we got a lot of more prank calls to do

a lot more uh news to go over we've been having a pretty interesting show so far to say the least

but of course it's a good thing milkman's here right yeah milkman all right yes sir all right

folks we'll be right back in about five minutes don't go anywhere milkman uh hang on line two

okay if you don't mind all right we'll be right back in a moment thank you folks at 1-888-278-8509

you know what i hope that when you die they put your gps in your box and a trap door at the

the bottom so when you die you open a tractor at the bottom you check the gps and you go straight

down to the hell madhouse radio is back you are bigger than a woman you are better than a woman

we'll always be behind you do not let a woman we'll always be behind ever make you who you are

left our show thank you everybody for tuning in you are listening to madhouse radio the best

internet prank calls you're listening to us on the extended madhouse radio network 98.6 the what

98.6

Radio.tv

VCRadio.com

Website is MadHouseLive.com

Along with SyndicateRadio.tv

I am signing here

I'm getting ready to sign here

The first CD folks

I got the pen out and everything

We got three contenders here for the CD

Ready to go

I did make him a sync before Milkman

Your old lady Sweet Kisses

Is actually next up

She submitted the thing

You know what I mean?

And she sent in a number for the Indianapolis Veterinary Emergency Center.

So this is, again, our words are going to be, this is a loud song.

I'll play that again.

Anyway, our words are cat, dog, and bird.

This should be pretty easy.

I'm going to have to do something fun with this.

Anyway, so sweet kisses, here you go.

This is a gimme.

Congratulations.

Smart girl.

So Nunu says that you and Sweet Kisses are going to end up making kids and then selling those.

Making babies.

Since you seem to be like breeders or something, the two of you.

You there, Milkman?

Alright, so what do you think we should do?

you cat dog or bird i'll let you pick it let's do bird that's that's the harder one let's do bird

let's make let's give yourself a challenge at least bird all right all right everybody i'm

gonna ask them for if they help flying machines out so we'll be right back within a moment with

the uh the veterinary emergency center here and the three word games i like to call it listen to

madhouse radio and the madhouse radio network and the mouth machine and all that shit and yeah

that guy tucking baths we're here also thanks for hanging in there

Hey, how are you doing?

Is this a veterinary emergency machine?

Yeah, that's what I was asking.

My pet, I got a problem with my pet.

Do you guys handle all types of animals?

I've got one of those flying machines.

Flying machines.

You know what I'm talking about?

Those flying machines that go floppa-floppa.

You know the one?

You don't know the animal that goes floppa-floppa-floppa?

You got your cat machine

You got your dog machine

And you got one of those flying machine animals, man

You know what I'm talking about, baby, come on

Other than the cat and the dog

What's the most common animal you'd see?

That's it, that's it

Okay, I mean, if you want to call it that

That's fine, now, here's

See, what the problem is, my bird

Somehow ended up in my

Snake stomach, I have no idea how it happened

I put the bird next

You know, next to the snake crate

and I put the milk crate

over the bird

the snake

together

next thing I know

somehow this bird

is inside my snake machine

I'm serious

I mean I really would like

to save the bird

fuck the snake

but the bird's important

the bird talks

it's an African parrot

snake

snakes are a dime a dozen

this parrot here

is supposed to live

a hundred years old

cost me a good three hundred dollars

I don't put any value

on snakes

hate snakes

snakes

work with those types of animals

so if you'll hold on one moment

I can give you the phone number

for some animal hospitals

that do work

with the exotic animals.

Well, can't you just...

It's really...

Can't we just open up...

How long does the bird have?

Please, we know...

It's like the bird's moving slowly.

She's trying to move the wrong...

She's moving the wrong way.

Hang on.

Move right there.

She's okay.

She hears...

She recognizes my voice, I think.

She's okay.

Look at her.

There she goes.

She's okay.

I'm tickling her.

A snake opening thing?

We can just open up the snake

and get the bird out.

That's all I'm saying.

Maybe you can just Google it real quick

and tell me what I should do.

I can't get a snake open.

I just need to do a surgery on the snake.

I can do it myself.

I need some alcohol wipes, right?

What else should I get?

I can't legally tell you how to do that.

Here we go.

You see, you people, just because you guys go through school,

all of a sudden you think you're entitled to all this knowledge.

Well, let me tell you something.

Knowledge is freedom, and knowledge is free.

I can go down to the library and get the same information,

but they're closed right now.

And you took the Hippocratic Oath.

so you you know you're bound by the hippopotamus oath no harm do good unto people shall not kill

thou shall not hurt um sick people so you're supposed to give me the information so i know

what to do to save pepita's life pepita left uh you know the the dryer machine now you can hear

it on the air i gotta go close the door you're not supposed to be drying clothes this later

so sweet kisses is gonna get the first cd sweet uh kisses give me your address i can mail it to

you and we'll do the official sign here as soon as we're done with this call there we lost milkman

yeah i'm here if she comes back entertainer she comes back okay the door i can help you they work

with birds and snakes hold on wait a second now he had to lay the phone down okay i'm i'm his cousin

benoit and he's just trying to think mouth over the place do you think that he'd be all right

doing that we'll just be able to hide him with a fork still in his mouth i don't know we don't work

We only work with cats and dogs, primarily.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute.

Wow, wow.

Okay, now I'm getting space.

Okay.

Let me get out of here.

Snake almost got me.

Okay, thanks.

So, look, here's the deal.

A snake got wrapped in my face there for like, here's...

And if you got hurt by the snake, then you have to go to the hospital, like the people hospital.

Well, lady, if you got hurt, it's you're liable because you're on the line with me and you're not...

I really am not liable because I told you that we cannot give you any medical advice over the phone.

And I told you, you took the Hippocratic Oath.

This is the veterinary emergency...

You can't be serious, sir.

Okay, the phone number is 745-7712, and I really wish you the best of luck.

Lady, look, if this snake, if this snake or this bird or I get hurt in any way in this process,

I'm holding the Indianapolis Vet Emergency Center, because you know what?

This is the night...

Animals, lady.

Sorry, I'm going to hang up now.

I hope you have, like, the best of luck.

What's your social security number?

All right, Milkman, that was fun.

Yeah, that was a good call.

I

was wondering if that was going to go anywhere.

Hang on, let me get this official sermon.

Let's sign the first CD here, Milkman.

Too bad you're not here to sign it now.

You can't do it.

You're not allowed to sign it.

I've got to put the phone up here on my cheek in order to do it.

Reclute's checking in.

As soon as Milkman, when you've got to leave, you might have Reclute on for a little while.

That'll be cool.

Cool.

Alright, so let's go ahead and get this over with.

I am autographing the first Madhouse Radio CD.

It's going out to Sweet Kisses.

Let me make this out here.

Here we go.

It works, because I've never used it before.

A-R-L-I-T-O slash and line zero for the year.

Woo, there you go, Sweet Kisses.

That's your autographed copy right there.

I got to let it dry real quick because I'm pretty sure that's wet ink.

Yeah, that ink right there will bleed in a second.

We're going to leave that right there.

Did we lose?

Dude, we lost Syndicate.

You know that?

Uh-oh.

Oh, man.

What happened?

I don't know.

I lost Syndicate.

What happened over there?

Crashing on me or some shit.

Hang on, Milkman.

Talk to the people.

They're keeping it in one of those leases.

Talk to people real quick here while I try to reset that, if you don't mind, please.

All right.

Well, in case you all don't know, I'm a lover and listener of the show.

She just won the first CD.

Everyone on Syndicate missed that.

The video feed went down, unfortunately, but I just autographed the first copy of the Madhouse CD.

There it is.

There's my autograph right there.

I got one of those fancy silver white ink kind of...

Oops, wrong way.

It's hard to do.

There, see that right there?

I got one of those.

Oh, that looks good.

I'm going to put that up.

I got Sweet Kiss's address here, where she's going to get the first...

I'm going to mark that number one for you, too, there, honey lady.

Don't let me forget that.

I'm going to mark number one on her right now, right here.

Remember, you two, if you're listening to the contest, come on in and participate, and you can get your outfit.

All right.

Wait, that's for you.

Congratulations, Sweet Kisses.

All right, so we move on.

Next prank called Milkman.

Do I still got you for another one?

Yeah.

What was that now?

All right, let's do one more here.

Lonesome Loser has sent in a number for Jimmy John's Gourmet Sweat Shop.

Okay, and Fetus Man is next up with his three words.

This one is cricket, nutrition, or copper.

I'm going to go with copper.

Yeah, I'm going to go with copper.

That's a hard one.

That's a very challenging one, Fetus Man.

Thank you very much.

All right, copper it is.

Here we go.

Just a moment with the next prank call tonight, folks.

I got some of that sandwich in the front of me.

Here's cold sandwiches.

That's not even, you're not even trying.

Dude, you got to be a little bold.

Where do you guys think you're going to go with this?

Cold sandwiches.

I can go to my fridge and get a cold sandwich right now.

No, it'll take me two minutes to put it together.

You got to put some little muscle into it.

Put some heat.

Give me some of that heat that I can't get at home.

You know what I mean?

Cold is instant.

I can go, I can get a frozen dinner right now and eat it cold if I wanted to.

I don't want to have to wait a damn second.

But if I wanted that frozen dinner heated up and cooked, it'd be about 15 minutes.

That's why I go to the restaurant.

The restaurant gives you heat.

That's all you're selling is heat, man.

You don't have anything hot there at all.

How's your soup?

Nothing hot at all.

I can't get anything.

They want to eat coffee, sandwiches, sodas, and chips.

No heat at all, no.

No muscle, nothing.

You don't have any originality.

You're not going anywhere with this, kid.

I give you a 4 out of 8 tonight.

50%.

I'm giving you the 2% curve, giving you a 50% instead of the 40 that you deserve.

What are you going to do next time to make me happy?

You guys got a microwave there?

You got, baby, you got A, you got the oven.

You got B, you got the sandwich machine.

A and B together, man, you got a panini going on, man.

That's where the money's at.

Paninis, people want their grinders, smoothies.

You guys got smoothies there?

Eagles, coffee, white tea, boring-ass half-faced sandwiches then, huh?

You suck.

Your phone sucks, man.

Anything?

Man, on in, bro.

Same time next week.

Talk to you in a week.

All right, man?

Work too hard.

Milkman, everybody.

Yep, yep, yep, yep.

That's Milkman.

Boy, we're having a fun show tonight.

That's all you want.

Look at that, Fetus Man.

You won the game.

name kokanee says he's having pizza anyone else want a piece dude i'll tell you what friday is

my pizza day tomorrow night i'm gonna come home you know i you know dude here's the thing let me

tell you something remember i talked a few weeks ago about the online ordering a pizza that you

can do with pizza hut dominoes and papa john's you know what i did i opened up and i i registered

for a free account with pizza hut.com let me tell you something that's the coolest i'm not

not being paid any money by pizza but let me tell you they got some awesome stuff going on with

their website you go to pizza hut.com right now you put in your address you put in the username

and the password right it finds the closest pizza hut location to your to where you live

and then you go on right there and you pick all your topics it shows you like the diagram of the

pizza right so you can pick like half of it sausage half of it pepperoni um you know you

You can put right there extra cheese, easy on cheese, light on the sauce, heavy on the sauce.

You know, you can split up.

It gives you a whole diagram.

You know, you can have one half this, one half that.

Excuse me.

I'm sorry.

I usually mute myself when I do that.

Anyway, so you get to design your own pizza, and you get it ordered to you.

It gives you your status.

It says your pizza will be there in 15, you know, 15, 20 minutes or whatever like that.

You can pay online and everything.

It's a really cool thing, man.

So it's amazing.

What I'm going to do tomorrow for the first time, I have it set up.

So all I have to do is I text to Pizza Hut my code.

I picked a code.

It's called Feed Me.

I text Feed Me to Pizza Hut, and they automatically put in my last order.

So my goal, it takes me 30 minutes to get from work to home.

So I'm going to get out Friday.

I'm going to get to my car.

I'm going to take my cell phone.

I'm going to text my order to Pizza Hut, and by the time I get home,

I would say roughly within the next five minutes

I should have my pizza at my door

Ready to eat

Won't even have to wait dude

Instant pizza

No waste time

That's the beauty of technology man

Will it work?

I don't know

I run the risk of me not being there

We've been trying to get to you for the longest time

I'm saying

Eat instant pizza

The internet is where we can like

Yeah

Instant whatever comes to your door

It's the whole point of the internet

That we've been trying to get for the past 10 years

Yeah man

I'm tired

We'll be living the Jetson

The Jetson life

We'll be here sooner than we know it

That's right

So Fetus Man gets another free copy

Of the CD here

I will give it to him as well

I will give up to one more CD out tonight

Other than that you're on your own until next week

We're going to give out 3 CDs tonight for free

Because it is a special night

so let me get that autograph here on the way here for you live on the air this is a very special

thing alive carlito i'll put number two on yours there fetus man i got your address here so that's

good let me give that the old john hancock machine here see all right so do you have how long did it

take for you to set up your signature like the the your little tag that you use for your comic

books did you work on it for a while because that's an important thing for a comic book artist

you mean the one that's on there now i made a psd of it and uh it's just part of the photoshop

program that i use which is you know setting it up and uh well i i wrote it like you see and

scanned it and then i have it like on so i'm i'm now on my official art now i can just put my

signature and it's always a uniform that thing which is kind of like a logo but it's actually

my signature now

and it's basically

how I've been doing it

in the past few months

and it's a good way

to just make it

clean

yeah but I'm saying

did you practice

your signature

I mean for

yeah but did you

practice it for a long

time to get your

signature right

yeah yeah yeah

I'm sure you gotta

practice your signature

you know you gotta

yeah yeah yeah

you just sort of

yeah

that's like the

perfect signature

of like hundreds

that I did

to get it to look

like that

yeah I see

yeah

or

yeah

this is an easy

Well, the thing is, like, I don't have, you know, I didn't actually have a Carlito signature.

I have a, you know, my real name signature.

I'm not going to put that on the CD.

I want to put Carlito on.

So I actually had yesterday.

I was like, man, I got to come up with a signature here.

I didn't even think about it.

You're developing it as you speak.

Yeah.

So, yeah, this is a new brand.

This is the only second time that I've made the signature official.

I've got a piece of paper here where I practiced it for like an hour.

it's all scrawled with blue ink on my different uh versions of my carlito signature but there it

is it's complete i'm rather proud of it it's a mix of cursive and non-cursive and uh it's got

the date on it too so there you go uh right there homeboy fetus man you get cd number two it will

be bark number two as well that's going to you sir i got your address here ready to go we are

rolling out of here one more cd will be given out tonight up to one more you can also call in

if you want, the toll free line is open

1-888-278-8509

this is Madhouse Radio

the prank call show that you heard about

we are on now, had a good show today

had some pretty progressive prank calls

we're playing a little bit of a game, we're not going to do this every week

I mean, we're going to do our normal show normally

but this is just a special show for the CD release

so I thought I'd make it fun

I wanted to give some away

and rather than just, you know, think of things

at the last moment, I said let me go ahead

and go back to something I used to listen to

and there we go

um corrupt corruption says he just bought the cd while the audio locked up in syndicate awesome

cool so good we got one sold already uh kokanee was reporting here diligently that the uh audio

and video were dead in syndicate yeah so sorry about that guys it looks like it's still working

now i think it's frozen oh shit no it froze again look at that man i've got problems with this with

this computer yeah the shout yeah the shoutcast stream works it's just like i have to run it

through the browser

and it just crashes

all the time, man.

It sucks.

They keep missing out

on a good show.

Well, I'm just telling

the listeners.

I mean, the show

has to stream for kids.

Yeah, yeah.

Man.

So, thanks for, you know...

I mean, he streamed

to 300 people alone

and I'm just saying.

Yeah.

Give me a moment here, folks.

Listen to this tune

while I get the syndicate

and the video stream

back up online here.

Oh, and Tuck,

I saw you uploaded

a podcast episode

about a week or two ago.

Didn't you?

A new one?

Yeah, uh-huh.

It's what's not new

But it's one I've had

Sitting around for a while

It's been taking this long

To actually get it up

So number 16 of Revolutuck

Is now up for

When you listen to it

It's just me playing comedy bits

And music and what not

And watches and who on

Getting a lot of stuff out there

That's been sort of sitting in the back

I miss the live shows

You didn't do a lot of stuff

It was really like a mellow

kind of laid back show

no I'm not saying that

it wasn't like

anything too intense

it was a sunny afternoon

middle of the show

exactly

yeah it was

and when I kind of

get in the mood

to kind of go

into that again

it's just been so busy

that it's been

the last thing

I've been really

wanting to think about

but if I can get

enough people

ahead of time

enough people

to know that it's on

and sort of help

participate a little bit

one thing I really

didn't really worry

about because

I can't do

do like you i can't do live the way i'm set up the dial-up situation and everything uh it's hard

i can't really do live calls but i can do recorded calls but it's just up to me to think to record

calls during the week and i haven't really been able to really you know you know pinch myself up

to go and do that every week so that's kind of why it's just be kind of lax dude there's a dude

Dude, on NowLive, in the Syndicate room, he's got a mask on.

He's freaking me out.

Is that Iron Man?

Hang on, let me look at that.

Is that Iron Man?

Yeah, it is Iron Man, dude.

That's so freaky.

I didn't know they had an Iron Man mask.

Man, that's scary, dude.

Iron Man is a very scary...

I wonder what they based the Iron Man mask...

You know they had to base it off of, like, some kind of tribal mask that they found out there,

and someone said, oh, look at that.

Yeah, totally.

I wonder what it was.

Yeah.

Someone collected the Ivory Mask or something and drew it, whatever you call it.

He's got like a Jedi looking jacket on

He's got like an Obi-Wan Kenobi

Jedi robe

He just showed his man boobs

That's cool dude man

Yeah rock out Iron Man

Iron Man's going nuts

Psychic Chuck's behind the jail now

He got caught by La Migra

He's flicking us off

Fuck man

That's cool

You can do some funky stuff with cams now man

Look at that

Disturbed

I can't get mixed and stuff now.

Disturbed, he's got a whole Miami Vice-looking thing, but in reverse parallel.

And there's some white chick with a lot of white blonde hair-looking stuff,

and she's got no background.

She's like in a box.

It's like this white girl, man.

That's the kind of girl I never get.

I've got a thing to set up and properly set up over here

and somehow draw lies on here on the cam soon.

That'd be cool

That'd be kind of cool man

You should make a show where you draw

Yeah if you could draw your comic book live

And have music and talk in the background

Yeah that's kind of what it would be

Like Bob Ross

Yeah just draw with our own working on

Just turn the camera on and draw

And have music or whatever

Dude you know what I did last week for real

I got a little

I burned a little bit of the hay

It was about 10 o'clock in the morning on Saturday

I couldn't get back to sleep

And I went ahead

head and i uh i turned on pbs and bob ross was on let me tell you something i had the funnest time

watching bob ross uh you know at 10 o'clock in the morning and saturday bob ross has his cool

painter guy yeah man he had a way he's dead rest his soul he lived here in florida but man

that guy had a talent you would think i'd be like you know sometimes i remember i watched bob ross

i'm like oh man bob ross fucked up this one but by the end of that episode he fixed it man like

Like, remember this one time, it looked like he fucked up the painting for sure.

He made this nasty-looking block thing.

Homeboy made it, turned it into a house.

He's like, fuck that shit, I can save this.

Bloop, bloop, blip, blip.

Made it into a log cabin.

It looked awesome.

It looked better than it did before.

Bob Ross is the fucking man, dude.

It's awesome.

Happy little mistakes, as he would say.

Happy little mistakes.

There's no such thing, yeah.

You see, that's how nature was.

It had mistakes all over it.

Like, like you, Tucker, because you weren't a planned, you weren't a planned child, apparently.

That's okay, though.

That's not a big deal.

hey we got a number in england here neville pool a guy answered about two minutes ago so let's do

that neville pool uh a prank call victim to be coming up here um i'm getting tired i'm running

out of gas so we're going to be ending the show here in a few moments we'll do a few more prank

calls hopefully we'll see how that works uh in the meantime here's this sorry i had the music up

did you say hello this is valente how are you music do you hear that racket tonight

I ain't a fucker guy.

What a fucker guy, that guy.

Called him right back, I am.

Messed up with the music.

I couldn't shut it off in time.

I was trying to do three things at once.

Shit.

I'll incorporate it.

I know.

Make your mistakes.

There's no mistakes.

It's half the little mistakes.

Man.

You incorporate what you use.

Exactly what you were talking about two seconds ago.

Dude, now this guy.

The Bob Ross method.

Now disturbed, man.

He's like drowning in water.

And he's splashing it.

That looks fun, man.

I wish I could live in the water.

you know you remember seinfeld when kramer was uh he was gonna live in the shower you remember that

he was like he was doing all this shit oh yeah cooking in the shower he was uh he was like

washing lettuce in the shower and he said he was gonna live in it i could live in the shower you

know i would uh dude i would get a walk-in shower and get like one of those uh plastic chairs those

resin chairs and hang out in that you know what i'm saying definitely would i would live in live

in a shower you got all your water you can do your number one right there you can do your number

with two and mash it into the grate.

I forgot about Reclude, man.

Hey, call in, man.

Sorry, forgot.

Alright, dude, let's see. Reclude might be calling in here

in a moment. That'll be cool.

Yeah, Cliff was on fire here earlier.

Also,

Now Disturbed looks like a mosaic.

Dude, that's just weird, dude.

A lot of weird stuff. A lot of weird stuff going on.

A lot of people listening to the show

and I want to thank all of you.

Let me do a quick count here. We got 23 on

shoutcasts and we got another

Another 21 listening, watching us on NowLive.

So that's in the 40s.

So, yeah, that's generally the amount of listeners that we get here on a night.

So thank you very much.

And, of course, we have a lot of people who listen to the show on the podcast as well.

So there it is.

You need to step up on the podcast, Tuck.

We got to get some, you know, just good prank call stuff.

You know what I mean?

We're joining here.

What's up, man?

Bro, you're not in Memphis?

No, I was in Nashville.

That shit was...

Yeah, I bet that.

Well, that's like

music city capital

of the country, huh?

Yeah.

You know what?

I fucking hate New York.

It is.

It's all

gum-pop bullshit.

It's such a bunch of bullshit.

But I'll tell you what.

The best episodes of Cops

are always in Nashville, man.

Nashville episodes

are like the best ones.

They got the most weirdest shit

going on in Nashville.

And man,

I remember Nashville

was always the best.

Like,

if they had a Nashville

Taser episode,

it would be the best episode

of Cops ever.

Ha ha!

You know,

I think I remember some shit.

Cool.

So, are you doing some pranks, man?

I know I kept you waiting.

I totally, man, I did a prank.

Oh, dude, I've been working.

It's no big deal.

Cool, man.

I've got a lady in England here, if you want to call her.

Rosina Walton.

Hey, my CD came out, by the way, dude.

I've got to get you a copy of it.

Oh, sweet, man.

Yeah.

Email me your address or, you know, the studio,

wherever you want me to send it to.

I'll send you a free copy of it, all right, man?

Oh, thanks, man.

I appreciate it.

Check it out, no problem.

I'll sign it with my old signature and all that stuff, you know?

What about your new signature?

Well, this is the new signature.

I made a new signature for the CD, actually, the Carlito one,

instead of the Carlos, whatever my last name is, you know.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you know, I got the celebrity signature now, you know what I mean?

Yeah, right.

That's what you should do, though.

You should definitely do that, man.

Hell, yeah.

You want to call England?

You want to call a business here in the States?

What do you got in the States, just for the hell of it?

Let's see.

I got Weird Wally's in California.

What the fuck is that?

Something, I guess.

Yeah, it's a bar.

It's a bar.

I got the Windy Gap Bar.

You ever watch Heroes?

You know that show Heroes?

Do you watch TV at all?

You know the cheerleader?

Well, there's like a cheerleader, the actress, her mom.

We got her number here also sitting around.

We haven't called that yet, but that's always a thing.

If you don't know much, we ain't got much to go with.

I got a diner here also we called earlier, but that might be funny.

So we got some stuff.

What did you call it?

What happened with the diner?

It's the Fog City Diner.

I called it the Fag City Diner.

What did I do with that?

I forgot now. I did something funny. I don't know. It was a while ago.

It was like an hour and a half ago or so. I don't even remember what I did.

Where's that at?

It's in San Fran.

And it's the Fag... I called it the Fag City Diner in San Francisco. That's funny.

Awesome.

Let's just call me, like, a fucking fag.

Yeah, you got it. All right.

Okay.

Hey, hello?

Hello.

Where are you guys located?

I'm battery and I'm parking there right now.

Okay, listen.

Yeah, yeah.

Did you see that? This is a game.

We're going to try to call back

We called this Chinese restaurant

I called them like three times in a row

I accused her of calling me the N-word

And she got mad

And said she was going to call the cops

I'm going to give her a call

Okay, well

I just did my regular Carlito

Send you the information on Yahoo

If you're by the computer still or not

That's the golden crown

Let's try that

Hopefully they're still open

I didn't call them that long ago

So we'll see

Alright, hang on folks

Here's another prank with Reclute

Hang on, man

Hey, hello

I got a question to ask you

Okay

Somebody call my dad the N-word

Somebody call my dad a nigger, I don't appreciate that

This is Richie Randall, I'm gonna cuss on you sons of bitches

Listen, I'm coming down here, dad nigger

She's gone already

She's still in a bad mood, she's like

She's a bitch, you'll see

Eventually we'll fuck her up

Alright, let's do that

That's bullshit

Speaking of spooks, do this one and then we'll give her a second to stew

Yeah, yeah,

is you Kennedy? Yeah, you could say something. That guy was weird.

Like I'll ever save it, but you know. He was kind of goofy. He was kind of f***ed.

He's an asshole. Pissed or something. Come on, you f***er.

Get mad, you son of a b***h. You son of a b***h. I'll say s*** about your mother.

Scotty's Restaurant. Let's call. Alright, let's. You need to get some good reaction.

That's right. We're going to call the Golden Crown, folks. Here we go.

Frank, I heard you guys are, uh, you guys are smokies. Smoke detectors got done.

Okay, you trying to get f***ing funny with me? I'll shut your goddamn p***.

No, you seem fucking...

Does y'all want more?

I started laughing, dude.

I couldn't help it, dude.

I just fucking thought you were laughing.

Frank Kelly, isn't that the guy that does all the impersonations?

That's the only thing I could think.

I was like...

That's a believable Firefly's name, though, Kexin Wops.

I should have looked this up.

That's Kexin Fireman or Fair Game.

Cops, Secret Service, stuff like that we want to stay with.

Dude, let's call back.

It's like EMS.

Just place that.

Let me see.

It's fucking Beaverton, Oregon.

What?

Oregon.

Nasty sounding name.

I'm almost out of time.

Let's call an England one first

And then we'll do him again

And we'll wrap it up

How's that sound?

Okay, it sounds good

I'm going to look some shit up

Cool

And I'm going to tell you

I got Rosina Walton

Harold Fawcett

Or Richard Cowell

Which one should

Or do you want to

I'll do this one

Let me call

I'm going to call

Harold Fawcett myself

Okay, yeah

And then when we

Oh, no

You did the prank call

Fuck that shit, dude

You're the funny one

Good thing

Do you want Walton

Fawcett or Cowell Fawcett

It says Harold Fawcett

He's in Lancashire

Or Lancashire

Lancashire is what it looks like

let me send you that

there you go

alright folks

here we go

we've got a handful

of pranks left

no one go anywhere

just a moment

get serious man

it is

it is yeah

alright so Richard

Richard plays a call

and I think I'm out of time

I think someone's going on

after me here

I better hurry up

who's going on

I forgot

one of the syndicators

is going on

who the fuck was it

is it Psychic

no Psychic doesn't do a show

someone's doing a show

I don't know

anyway

hang on Rick

we'll do another one here

okay

anyone else too

hello

yes

yes yes i'm asking you are you are you working well i'm yes and who are you excuse me i'm from

the sassy yes to come to your house oh there the sassy mood man let me call her back look whoever's

he just sits there yeah that's stupid all right so we can do the chinese restaurant again and i

also got one more person and no that's all three that's all three i got a denny's and a hooters

also in mesa arizona each of them both of them are in mesa hooters you know the bars like that

they don't

actually you know what

let's do the hooters

I like the hooters

it's funny if you act

like you're in love

with the girl

who you know

helped you out

you know

call it be all religious

on them

religious on them

on the hooters ass

alright let's do that

alright here we go

are you

are you the people

that

are you on

67th

station springs

you women are

she thought you were

someone else

she's like

oh hey Ted

playing online about him

trying to like read it

yeah

Johnny's Arizona

How'd you

Did you pull it up real quick

You got the address so fast

I was like

I didn't think I sent it to you

Wow

For you

It's gonna take too long

I got shit in my mouth

Oh what a fucking

Alright let me

Let me see what else we got

I think we got another one

From Lonesome here

Yeah this is fucking pointless

Oh, we got an Italian paparazzi guy in Italy.

Oh, yeah?

His name is Massino Sestini.

You know, he...

Oh!

Yeah.

Wait a minute.

Yeah, here's what you gotta do.

Give me his number.

How you doing, church?

I'm really trying to rid...

Drop the...

Thank you later, my friend.

All right.

Go out of business.

Say, I know the mire.

I'm sorry.

Point the manager there.

You know what I'm saying?

It's gonna be the job where you're gonna make the hiring decisions out of hooters, you know what I mean?

But they just come.

You know, they're coming there.

Interviews all whored out.

one in california where this guy had him like he had like he had like this in the trailer kind of

move up you gotta do this thing yeah that wasn't that wasn't that was good man let's let's do one

more let's call you want to call that chinese place i got a lonesome has been sending in tons

of numbers we got the well we got the the paparazzi right in italy he's not we were about to do that

one trying to think let me his name real quick let's do it i sent you i'm sorry i sent you a

whole block of new numbers that came in from lonesome that's all right we'll see what he you

If I'm overextending my stay on Syndicate, if anybody else needs to go on Syndicate, please let me know, and I'll gladly go off.

I'll stay on the Madhouse station, but I want to make sure I'm not encroaching on someone else's time slots.

Just let me know if someone else needs to go on.

Let me know, and we'll gladly move on.

Don't worry.

I know it's almost 1 here at Eastern.

God, I've got a lot of dust on this monitor.

Okay, so you're ready to call this dude, or do you want to do another one in the meantime?

Let's do this, dude.

I'm looking through all this shit.

Yeah, yeah, he's doing a fucking bag of paparazzi.

Okay, okay.

He shows up, like, taking pictures of a third of this shit, so fuck it.

What a fucking bastard.

People that do that shit are just sick, man.

Getting magazines like that shit.

All right, anyway, so we're going to call Massimo.

Massimo.

I think this is a, you know what, I don't think there's a guy in him, man.

I think it's, like, a company.

Let's just fuck one.

Let's just call him.

We'll figure it out.

We'll make something happen.

All right, let's do it.

Hang on, folks.

We're going to do that.

What did she just say?

Call back.

Like, scat to life.

I think she's been shit.

Yeah, they speak this weird like...

This is...

Oh, Sicilians and all, and they got their...

Fuck, all right.

Well, let's just try her back.

It's like 6 a.m. over there, I guess.

Maybe that's why.

Oh, is it?

Oh, thank you.

I think that was the wrong number.

I'm not sure.

Oh, shit.

All right, let's just try calling her back.

Hang on.

Fuck it.

Call it.

Get your ass up.

It's 6 o'clock.

Here's Steve.

Let's call the Chinese place again.

Yeah, let's call...

Let's call the Chinese...

Where'd that go?

Hang on.

Crown Restaurant.

Here we go.

All right, hang on, folks.

Hello.

How you doing, sir?

This is Fire Marshal John Francis.

We understand you're violating some fire codes down at your restaurant there.

He said, fuck, like that.

You heard him?

He's like, fuck that.

Anyway, got the, oh, shit.

He's on the guard.

Ain't going to work with him anymore.

All right, let's call another one, and then we can try the Italy one again,

the one we did before, the Massimo.

Whatever, you're the guy, man.

You can figure it out.

All right.

I think that'll do, because I'm almost out.

I got to work tomorrow.

All right, okay, so you saw the ones I sent you.

You got a perforation there?

A perforation, you know what I mean.

A perforation.

There's a gourmet pizza from Pompeii.

I don't think that's in New Zealand, right?

It's one of those.

Yeah, what the hell?

Nigel.

What's Nigel?

Nigel Lord?

Yeah.

Nigel Lord.

That's in Essex, okay?

Here we go.

...going around it.

It's a good...

Yeah, we've been having fun.

All right, let's call the Italian one and we'll wrap it up, all right, man?

Massimo.

I like that name.

I'm going to name my son Massimo.

Don't be a silly...

Massimo.

Blackface to Massimo in Italy.

See how that goes.

Didn't we just call them?

Yeah, you want to call them?

Oh, yeah, fuck them.

Just call that bitch.

See if she answers.

No, we'll do another one.

We'll figure it out.

Okay, we'll do one more where the person answers, no matter what happens.

Exactly.

Hello there.

Always get Indian peons.

I love that.

Somebody want to work here?

This piss-smelling guy.

Hang on.

This toy,

It's better than nothing.

No, we did have, you had like two, I think.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, yeah.

You had some good calls, man.

Don't worry about it.

Yeah, it was kind of fun.

It was all right.

I mean, shit.

Like, I'm fucking not.

I mean, I could have had that one, dude.

That one would have been so fucking funny.

Yeah.

Stop laughing.

That's funny, dude.

That's cool.

It happens, man.

No worries.

Stop fucking joking.

It was good.

Alright man

Relations on the CD release

Yeah send me

Send me the address

And I'll get you a copy

So you can check it out

Spread it around alright

Yeah sounds great man

Cool man

Talk to you later

Alright bro take care

Alright that's Reclude everybody

Reclude

Wow we've done a long show

I forgot about Tuck and Bass

So you guys still there

It's like you guys have been like

Doing nothing

In the show

All for like the last hour

Because you were asleep

You're all like

Tuck's on mute

How'd Tuck get muted

Tuck you're

You're unmuted now

I don't know

I don't know how you got

I don't know how you were muted

I don't know

Milkman always gets muted somehow

so anyway let's wrap it up

it is late

I want to thank everybody who listened tonight

we did sell our first

CD actually that's pretty good

I hope everybody downloads it

and definitely if you want to purchase it

you get a special copy of the CD

with some bonus pranks on top of it

you can download anywhere

I'm going to sign that here for a good old

who bought it

corrupt yes corrupt corruption bought it

thanks man

it's an honor

you know

to be the first person

to buy

actually buy the CD

you didn't just

you know

you didn't just win it

the actual first purchaser

so let me

autograph that now for you

well I thank everybody

for listening tonight

we're here every Thursday night

at 10 p.m. Eastern

7 p.m. Pacific

you can visit the website

madhouselive.com

I want to thank Lonesome Loser

for checking in

and of course

confirming away as he did

the numbers that I didn't get to

Lonesome

I will go ahead and save

for a later date

don't worry

all your efforts do not go in vain

I may be doing a show this Saturday

on Syndicate so be tuned

I might start doing a Saturday night show

either 8 to 10

or maybe in the afternoon on Saturday

so be sure to check that out

here I go signing your CD there good buddy

I messed it up

it's this Carlitos

I have such bad penmanship and handwriting

anyway there you go

it looks nothing like Carlitos

but trust me it's signed for you

there you go buddy

the first legitimate

purchaser of the

Madhouse CD

you're the man corrupt

I'll make sure that

dries out before I put it back

but your CD will be on the way

this weekend

should you have it

by this time next week

you should have your CD

your CDs actually

you have two CDs

do you want two CDs

in your mouth

anyway

venison's going on

I haven't talked to him

in a while

anyway yeah

so thanks to everyone

in Syndicate

everyone who called in

British Columbia

hey you have my address

it's in mine don't you

I think

did you send it to me

I do have it

I'll send you a letter

yeah email

yeah I need yours

I don't know

This weekend I'm going to make sure I send out

Everybody's getting

I got to get Jen a copy

I got to get Milkman this copy out

I wanted to send one to Zolar

So I definitely got to get down this weekend

And get on top of that

So yeah, everyone who participated

Nico, that crazy Nico guy

At the beginning of the show

That was kind of fun, interesting

He even did a prank I think, didn't he?

Yeah, he tried, it was fun

And everyone who listened

For those guys

Participating in Atlanta

That's right

Yeah everyone

Yeah even that

That game was

That we had

Participated every Thursday night

I'll tell you what

That three word game

Actually works pretty well

Yeah the game was great

Yeah we got

We got good pranks

As a result of them

You know so

Hell we might have to

Do that another time

For you know

On a special occasion

You know we can't

Always do that

But every once in a while

It's fun to play a game

Challenge yourself

A little bit

Challenge your mind

Challenge your skills

Exactly

Challenge your wit

Alright so

So, everyone, be sure to stay tuned to SyndicateRadio.tv and the MadHouseLive.com websites.

We'll be back Thursday, next Thursday at 10 p.m. Eastern, as I said already.

Why am I repeating that?

PrankHall.info.com and TuckerMike.com.

And, yeah, PCU Radio.

Thanks, Ted, for having us on there.

We'll be back next week.

Thanks, Baz.

Also, if you're still out there, thanks, dude, for being on.

We're out of here.

This is my friend, Al June 1st, out in the music store.

Thanks, everyone who listened tonight and everyone in the chat rooms.

Peace out. We'll catch you next week.

Calls (19, 54 min of 2 h 35 min)

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