2008-06-14 Show

Who the fuck is this?

Fucker, who is this?

You are listening to the Madhouse Radio Podcast.

Good afternoon, everybody.

Madhouse Radio starting now.

Madhouse Afternoon Show.

Doing stuff.

Good afternoon, everybody.

It's Saturday, June the 14th.

It's probably over here with me today.

I see that we have, who else now?

Tuck and Baz.

What's up, guys?

You guys awake over there?

I think I muted you guys.

Hey, hey, what's happening?

Hey, how you doing, though?

Buddy, old pal of mine.

Baz is around somewhere, too.

I see you two are sending a number, thanks.

I got a lot of other numbers here from...

Yeah, I sent you a number, so I used a call.

Yeah, so the country kitchen is in, and some other ones, Baz sent in one for...

I'm really loud, aren't I?

You guys are a little loud, yeah.

I want to bring it down a little bit, both of you.

Not too bad, though.

Let me turn the music down.

Okay.

There, now you guys...

Actually, no, you're okay, Baz.

You haven't even talked yet, buddy.

Okay, anyway, so yeah, we've got...

Hey, can you hear me now?

Yeah, we hear you now, man.

We hear you now, loud and clear.

It's me because I'm here myself, and it's blaring my own ears.

All right, well, I brought it down a little bit, so we're good.

I'm not in Syndicate because I think someone's broadcasting some fight on there, and I can't get in.

It says the username is already in use, so I can't go on Syndicate.

This is a Syndicate show.

Huh?

This is a Syndicate show.

Someone's broadcasting.

That's what I was going to ask.

I thought it was the whole point of you doing this.

Yeah, it is.

This would be a Syndicate TV fill-in.

Yeah, someone's got a UFC fight going on on there.

and I can't see that I'm launching to you.

Oh, you see, it trumps everything, brother.

I guess so.

Try to bring your mic down, Tuck.

It's really loud, man.

Try to bring it down.

Yikes.

Shave it down a little bit, man.

Maybe about two-thirds of what it is now would be perfect.

Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz.

Still loud.

Is that good?

Still loud.

Oh, maybe just not talk as loud.

Shit.

Maybe just not talk as loud, you'll be okay.

I don't know.

You've got to work on that, my friend.

Whisper.

Okay, I just did that.

There you go.

See, you sound okay with that.

Well, my settings are fine. It's your setting.

Alright, let me bring it down. Let me bring the output down.

There we go. Maybe that'll fix it.

We had trouble Thursday, and my settings were set the way they are.

You were like, oh, you're super loud.

Alright, well, I brought it down, so hopefully we can at least still hear Baz.

I've got a lot of numbers here. We've got the...

Okay, I'm done fixing it.

No, you're good. You're alright, man. We fixed it.

Country Kitchen Dragon 2000.

So what kind of practices did you do these before?

Are there any online that we could play or anything that we should know about the Country Kitchen?

How often did you call them and stuff like that?

Okay.

Not hearing you.

Okay.

Well, let's just try to call them then.

The Country Kitchen.

Hang on, folks.

Who are you calling?

The Country Kitchen.

I don't think they're going to pick up.

Nope.

Open at this time?

Any idea?

Big tuckle?

Yeah, well, this is usually, you know, this is the afternoon lunch rush about over.

So these are like businesses that should be open if they're in.

if they're interested in making business i mean they got to be open for breakfast

or well they had to have been open for a breakfast service but it's lunchtime

what's wrong with those guys that sucks because country kitchen is a good one

well we'll try later maybe they're just busy maybe we caught them in a busy time

we'll try them later going back to my b here see what else we got well now what about dragon 2000

what's their story local you know good good old typical local chinese restaurant can't go wrong

dragon 2000 all right cool do that all right let me try that dragon 2000 everybody where they at

in uh are they in tennessee or where exactly yeah tennessee to tennessee let's do that

that's a good song lord i really been real stressed down and out losing my ass something

like that let's find out the rest of development here in 1991 98.6 them out.com what's going on

what's up sister i'm good let's make some orders please is it too early

yeah you don't do right i mean i'm gonna come pick it up is that okay can i pick it up yeah

go ahead okay good but first before we get into that my son he likes spaghetti is there like a

chinese spaghetti maybe something you consider like spaghettis you got anything you would

consider like a chinese spaghetti well my baby he likes spaghetti no but what what do you have

like with spaghettis in it you know like it's a spaghetti spaghetti noodles yeah you got any

noodles yeah it's a lo mein lo mein all right so can you make it like a ball you can fry it

in the wok machine you know we put some oil and we put make a big ball of noodle

called the noodle ball well you know how to make the noodles you make it into a ball and you put

and you fry it stuff there it's only got a spot he has a spider he's playing with us by missing

it still unable to get on syndicate i don't know what's going on with these guys man

Yeah, yeah, well, because someone else has already,

I think they've said Dino's broadcasting some fights,

like the UFC fights or the Pride, it's Pride fights.

It's like, from what I've seen,

Pride I hear is like much more action-packed than the UFC ones.

These people aren't coming back, I'm going to clear the line.

I understand that those Pride fights are more exciting

than the actual UFC ones, they're like more no-holds-barred.

Like when UFC first started,

there weren't really a lot of rules from what I understand.

They could really do anything they wanted to.

true yeah like they wouldn't let you like you couldn't you couldn't bite and you couldn't claw

you know i mean you couldn't do the obvious stuff like biting or clawing at the eyes or

something like that they wouldn't let you do that but anything else was game in the early days man

those bad man fights oh yeah that uh it came out of it came out of places like uh where i'm from

from Jacksonson C.

A lot of the early

bad man,

what became UFC

came out of like

Jacksonson C.

And then it would have

like an annual

bad man competition

every year

and just the biggest,

baddest,

redneck,

should be each other.

And it was a

big old,

good old time.

And that basically

was part of what

became the UFC.

Right.

Well,

you know,

they used to be these,

the early,

early ones,

like I remember,

like we're talking

like 90,

early 90's

mid 90's

when they started

this stuff

they would have

some where like

they had one person

from each

like each

martial art

division or

martial art

practice

you know what I mean

like they would have

a sumo guy

a small Chinese guy

they'd have like

a bunch of stuff

you know

like different type

of a

yeah they'd do

different ones

that was always

cool to watch

they're like

enter the dragon

tournament type

different

like enter the dragon

the last Bruce Lee

would be

where everyone

goes to an island

and it's all

these great champions

from all these

different styles

and killing each other.

Exactly.

The whim of the evil guy with the one hand.

Uh-huh.

The evil guy or whatever.

I hear you, Tuck.

But there was this one...

They had this one time where...

I don't know what this means.

The evil guy with the one hand.

There was this one time,

this big, big diesel-looking Chinese guy, man,

and he was going against...

They sent him up at random.

They actually randomly would seat him out.

And he had to go against this really short guy.

And I was like,

I'm like, man, that short, skinny guy is going to get his ass kicked.

And they rang the bell, and the short guy jumped up in the air,

kicked the big guy right in the face, like right in the nose,

and the big guy fell back.

Big guy falls back and gets counted out right there.

The fight lasted like less than a second.

He just literally got up and went, whoop-ah, and kicked him.

It was gone.

It was over, man.

Like quicker than it even started.

It was done.

That was some funny shit, man.

I remember I got that at the...

There's only guys like Butterbean

Came out of here and shit

Oh Butterbean

He's a punk

He's a bum

I never took him seriously

He started to take seriously

That guy Butterbean

You know

No offense but

I know you're a fan of his

He's in a real boxer

No no no

He's

That's what came out of here

The early days of it

Yeah

I mean I remember

They had the whole

What sprung out of the 80s

I remember he did the whole thing

He was like boxing

And he accidentally hit the

He hit the dude

The ref

And the ref got knocked out

out by Butterbean at the same time.

Oh, Nunu's saying it's playing October 14th.

You know, he only changed that. The title isn't

updated yet. We are live. This is not

Memorex. This is June the 14th.

Butterbean kicked Johnny Knoxville's ass

on Jackass. Yeah.

In a jewelry store like in

Japan. That was funny.

The best thing is, at the end of that,

Knoxville's like, is Butterbean

okay? He's all knocked out,

bleeding, getting stitches on his back, and he's

like, oh. It wasn't in Japan, though. It was in the

States. It was like a Japanese-owned

jewelry store yeah because the paramedics are like stitching them and squirting like stuff on

them like that spray stuff that you know it's like a you know like a novocaine but like it's

like a liquid spray and he's sitting there he's like oh is butter bean okay oh man oh shit that

was funny all right let me try to kick the video up here give me a moment listen to this song folks

and we're gonna have a prank call in a moment too just a moment let me know if the uh if the

the title's updated

if it's his live

instead of October 14th

it should now

shit what happened

oh this is the episode

that was playing

before we started the show

I know I'm just saying

I wonder what happened

dude that's fucking

with people

he's like

he said some guy

has something up his ass

and it's not made of plastic

that's funny

it's made of flesh and bone

but that's always

just pushing the

pushing the envelope

all the time

he's all over the map

every like IM I got

left from him

was like

very random stuff

that had no connection

to anything else

oh I couldn't

I couldn't deal with that

Yeah last time

I didn't even come online

I wanted to listen to Zohar

But I was so tired

But I didn't even

Didn't even bother with

Going online

I'm sure he would have

Been bothering me too

Yeah

I think he

I think he just

Unions his entire buddy list

And whoever is online

Gets whatever he's

Rambling about

Yeah he just wants

To get some rise

Out of everybody

I forgot my password

For the freaking

Chat room thing

So anyway

Everybody go to

Prankcall.info.com

And you can see

All the podcasts

That I have

Podcasts that may be

They're so fun to me

To do

And hey

I posted a new

Doctor Who

Did the last installment

Of Trial of the Time

In 1996

It's up on the

Revolutus section

Of the MadHalf forums

Everybody

Yeah and how long

Has the

Oh geez

How long has the

The podcast been on for

You know what I'm saying

Like when did you

First start doing this

It's been over a year right

Yeah

Over a year

Over a year at this point

I think it started like

Late February

Of what

Of 07

Okay, okay.

Maybe I should play one of those after the show here today for you.

Since you're not able to do it live, really, because of your technical issues.

You know, because you don't have high-speed internet where you live.

Yeah, yeah.

You're in the boonies.

And I hardly get the time or effort to make prank calls to even record them.

So they start really bothering me doing them until I get a new batch of prank calls again.

Next time I make a new batch of prank calls again, I'll put the padpads on.

Yeah.

Yeah, maybe have you call in one show, just do a few of them, and you can put them on a podcast or something.

Yeah, exactly.

Like one of these Saturday shows.

They get the camera to work, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, fuck it, man.

Oh, excuse me.

You don't need that fucking camera, man.

I'll kick the cameras out.

Space Shuttle landed today.

I was up around 9 o'clock, and I heard the sonic booms this morning come over Orlando.

It's really cool.

I don't think you guys get that where you live, but over here, we get the sonic booms in the middle of the morning.

Yeah, it'll skivvish

It sounds like someone's pounding on your window twice

It sounds like that

And every time it gets me, I'm like, what the fuck?

They're like, oh, okay, space shuttle today, that's right

Then I'll go run and put it on the NBC affiliate

Yeah, it's really cool, cool stuff

Yeah, they never come close to Seattle

Oh, that's right, yeah, they're way up, still high over there

I don't think they're low enough to hear the son of booze

Until they hit part of the Florida area

Over the Atlantic

And then they come over Orlando

And then they turn up and they land straight down

Because we're right by the Cape. We're not right by it, but we're about 45 minutes away from where it goes up.

We see it launch every time. We can see it, and we feel it a little bit.

And I see Justin.TV has a new mobile service. You can actually broadcast from your mobile phone.

I'm going to have to start doing that. Broadcasting live.

You have little big phones, you mean? Yeah.

Yeah, right.

I do have my camera up and working in the setup.

I might one day get on Justin or one of these places and try some sort of cam show setup.

Experiment thing.

I don't know, man.

Really?

That takes up a lot of bandwidth, my friend.

I don't know if you could do that.

Sorry for the delay, everybody.

Just trying to get the video running here.

It's not looking good.

McStiggy's my friend out July 1st.

That's cool.

Go to McStiggy.com and get you one of my two shirts that I have personally designed.

You designed the shirts yourself?

And you can wear a piece of Tucker Mike art.

Well, it's art from the CD and I made shirts out of it.

And who knows what now.

Cool.

We'll see if we sell any more CDs this weekend.

and I sold two last week

and another one during the week.

It was pretty good.

I was really excited about that.

I haven't gotten mine yet, brother.

I haven't gotten mine yet.

I know.

I'm waiting on it.

I'm over at the mailbox every day

with my hands on my face

waiting for it.

Me too.

I think the video's working now.

Well, Baz, you bought yours.

You should be there any day now.

Let me check the status of that.

Let's see where Baz's CD is.

I don't know.

That's cool.

I'm sure Tom's playing, man.

It's milled out.

You're probably going to get it Monday,

I think I told you.

I was thinking Monday or Tuesday.

Those media mail rate, it's like affordable for me, but it's unreliable.

But to send it like regular mail, like regular USPS, it would get there like in three or four days, but it'd be so expensive.

It's like the same price as the CD itself, I think.

Jeez.

Yeah, and going from Florida to Washington State is about as far as you can go in the US.

Yeah, that's true.

That's true.

And I lie in the postage.

I say it's only one ounce.

It's really about two.

So hopefully they don't fuck that up, you know.

Anyway, okay, let's see if the video is working now.

All right, good.

Good, we got the video feed working.

No syndicate yet, but the video feed's working.

Hey, do you want any Saipan numbers today?

I found a whole list of Saipan restaurants.

Yeah, sure, sure.

That's in American territory, right?

If it is, then I can definitely call it with the spoof card.

I believe they are.

Okay, yeah, yeah, send it in.

We'll do those.

That's always fun.

Let me confirm one or two.

Awesome, thank you.

And Nunu sent in a number for Albalal.

That's that crazy free place, I think it was.

Was it really?

I don't know, something like that.

Oh, we got Curry in a Hurry.

That's from Wantsome Loser.

He's not around

Well he's around

But he's not responding

But I still got all

He sent in a bunch of numbers

Last week

That we never called

Let's try to call

The Lai Lai Garden

Chinese restaurant

They're

Are they big

Or are they big

Big

Thick

Happy

Hang on everybody

For the Lai Lai Garden

Chinese restaurant

Just a moment

This is the restaurant

That's the one

That's the good

Kind of suck

This is the

Got it

Okay

And what do you

Do you write it on

First me or

I don't know what you want

What

The rice

Do you have the house rice

Special fried rice

Oh god

So what goes in it exactly?

I've got some allergies, so maybe you could describe it a little bit to me.

It has your beef and your pork and your shrimp, bamboo, carrot.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, bamboo.

What's that about?

Oh, it's a vegetable.

Is it good?

It's good.

That's what pandas eat, though.

Huh?

That can't be good for you.

That's what pandas eat.

Are you there?

I'm here.

Okay, can I keep going back?

No, what I'm saying is that's what pandas eat, you know?

I mean, I don't think that's too much for the human body.

I don't even drink milk.

I'm sorry.

Well, don't apologize, but can we omit the bamboo?

You want it without the bamboo?

Are they bamboo shoots or bamboo knots?

Bamboo shoots.

Do you have any knots?

Do you have any breads?

Bread.

Yeah.

Do you have bread?

Mike, any breads?

You know what I mean?

Huh?

Do you have any Chinese breads?

No.

Why don't you guys have breads?

And what about cheese?

We got cheese.

All right, hang on.

We got bread and hamburger buns, but no Chinese bread.

All right, look, I'm a caretaker.

I'm going to put the guy, his name is Jack Masterson.

I come in every Saturday.

I clean the house for a little bit for him, and we order him one meal for the week.

He's bedridden, so I'm going to come pick it up.

I'm going to put him on the phone.

He's going to give you his order, okay?

Okay.

All right, Jack.

Here you go.

Hang on.

His name's Jack, okay?

Okay.

Hey, Jack.

It's like, how long is this?

With mayonnaise and ice.

Ice and ice.

44-ounce cup.

Mayonnaise and ice.

And a cup, yeah.

Okay.

To the fried wonton.

8 in order. So I can only go 8 in order.

So you multiple the 8?

There's the fried wontons that are 8 in order.

Okay, well I'll go for 30, because it's 30. So we'll do 30.

The orders of fried wontons?

No, I'm 30 total.

Let's go 24 total.

No, that's too much. Times 3, so we'll do 20.

8 times 3 is 22.

20, exactly. So, it is 20.

Okay, what do you want?

Chicken fried rice.

Uh huh, chicken fried rice.

Uh, yeah.

What's in there?

Do you have any oil, like, drippings?

Huh?

Any type?

I see.

Do you need some drippings?

I want some drippings.

What kind?

Beef drippings.

Well, it's going to be beef and rice.

Okay, well, what about the drippings from the beef?

I just want the drippings only.

I don't, I don't understand.

Do you know what a dripping is?

I know what a dressing is.

No, dripping.

Drip.

Huh?

Dripping.

Dressing.

Dripping.

Yeah.

There's not going to be no drippings.

What happens to your drippings?

The dripping, it's a stir-fry.

We don't put the dripping or anything else.

We just put the beef and the rice in it.

You have any beef fat?

No beef fat.

Is there anything, like, you throw away?

Like, maybe, like, that's nasty?

What about oil?

What about oils?

No, we don't put it in.

We don't put oil and stuff, drippings, in the rice.

Okay, well, here's another thing, though.

When you make the wontons, you fry them, right?

Uh-huh.

Can I get some fried drippings?

No, we don't do that.

Well, you just drove a little bit of my rice on top of it.

No, we don't do that.

What are you going to do after when you're done in the day?

You know what?

Tell your friend to come down here and look at the menu.

Wait a minute.

Do the stuff that you're asking for.

Hang on.

Hello?

Yeah, I got the phone back.

Is everything okay?

Did he give you the order?

He's asking for all the drippings and everything else, and we don't do that.

Oh, no, no.

You can't have drippings, Jack.

Jack, you can't have drippings.

Is he asking for drippings?

Uh-huh.

Jack?

I don't want the drippings.

No, no, no, you can't.

He can't have drippings, ma'am.

Don't sell him the drippings.

Well, we're not.

Did you, because, what are you, did you, did you see?

She said she's going to go get a lot of drippings.

Ma'am, she, he, can you take that off the order, because he can't have drippings.

He's not allowed to.

We don't have, I get, we don't have drippings to put in the food.

Okay, good, because then I heard this is a healthy Chinese restaurant.

His heart is almost covered in fat

They already told him

That's why he can't even get up anymore

He keeps trying to sneak here and there

He wanted three orders of fried wontons

And I don't know what he wants

Oh my god

So maybe you can talk to him

And call me back and tell me

He's a jack steamed vegetables

Steamed vegetables only

He can have a hard boiled egg

Then I suggest you cook him a hard boiled egg

We're not allowed to cook for them

It's a liability

So maybe

Okay so we'll do

Or like maybe

Two hard boiled eggs

And some white rice only

And some steamed vegetables

Okay

He's not

I don't

I don't think you understand

That you could put this man in danger

By selling him drippings ma'am

I can't believe

I wasn't going to sell him any drippings

I

Why don't you talk to him

And then you call me back

Thank you

Okay

No drippings for Jack everybody

That was kind of fun

I love drippings man

I loves me some drippings baby

Madhouse Radio and the Hizal

Anyway

Oh yeah, look at that

Dino's reminding me that

Duh, no wonder

The syndicate

I'm supposed to be on 4-6 on syndicate

That's my bad, whoops

I totally forgot about that

Well, Athena came home early today

She did

Athena came, hang on

Let's get this taken care of

It's always supposed to be 4-6

Where did I get 2-4 from?

I don't know, but for 6 times I get better times

Yeah, it does, you're right

But today I would have

Hey, hang on, Tuck, be quiet.

Hey, Athena, guess what happened?

You're on the air.

How you doing, baby?

Athena's hard at work in the living room.

Anyway, I'm supposed to go on four to six, and I went on two to four instead.

I don't even know where I got two to four from.

Isn't that crazy?

Crazy.

Isn't that stupid?

I'm

sorry we were fighting earlier.

You forgive me?

You feeling better?

Did you put some stuff on your eye?

Okay, put some ice and keep it on there, and it won't turn black.

I'm very sorry I lost my temper.

It's all right.

I forgive you.

Okay, well, I love you.

I love you, too.

And I'm going to be done at 4, so maybe a hamburger medium rare?

No.

You can't get that done in time?

Medium?

Cooked.

Yeah, you never cook, do you?

I'm going to hang up and I'll be there.

Goodbye.

Cooks.

Yeah, what's the best way to prevent a black eye from setting in?

Because Athena...

No, I'm kidding.

I never...

I didn't hear her.

I'm just kidding.

You put it wrong.

I know it's that phone call, yeah.

Yeah, seriously, I don't know where I got 2 to 4 from.

I'm so stupid.

It's probably just a pack of peas.

Yeah, whatever.

I don't even know if I have Dino's phone number here.

Hang on, someone else is calling.

And how's the radio? You're on the air.

Hey, Carlito.

Hey, what's up? Who's this?

How you doing?

Four from, you're totally right. I'm supposed to do four to six. My bad.

The good stuff, you know, he's playing. I was actually watching some of the fights. It's good stuff.

Those are pit fights, right?

I'm like fucking...

Actually, I couldn't do four to six today anyway. I had a problem.

So yeah, I'll go on if Dino's okay with it. We'll see.

Yeah, yeah, it's open right now.

Hey, thanks. Sorry about the confusion.

No problem.

Yeah, totally. I gotta go on syndicate now. I apologize for being a stupid.

I mess up like that all the time.

I'm like the guy who jumped out of the plane without the parachute with the camera.

That's me, Carlito, over here, jibbing out of planes, no parachute.

Like that cameraman.

I said that crazy, suicidal cameraman.

Was that you who told the story about the cameraman who was jibbing out of the plane

because of the great shot he was going to have, and then he had no parachute,

and he, uh, I hope the footage was good.

That's all I can say on that.

Yeah, I hope they saved the footage, at least.

Seriously, Dad, I really don't know.

I do stupid shit like that all the time.

And everybody, I'm getting on Cinecam.

We'll be right on for more prank calls.

Hey, man, it's like 5 a.m. in Saipan right now.

What was that, Bass?

It's 5 a.m. in Saipan right now, so probably won't find any businesses open.

Oh, that's true.

How about some of your family?

Give me some wake-ups.

Give me some of your family.

She doesn't have any family there anymore.

This is cool.

I don't know, that's kind of mean.

I wouldn't do that to your family.

It's not my family.

Oh, you married into the family?

I hate the in-laws.

I don't care about them.

Yeah, send them on in if you can, if you got them.

Send them if you got them.

All right, and we're on Syndicate.

All right, cool, everybody.

Everyone listening on Syndicate, watching on Syndicate.

The Madhouse show is starting in progress.

I don't know where I got the idea that it had a two-to-four show.

It's a four-to-six show, which makes more sense.

I don't know why I would want to do a show from two-to-four.

Anyway, I'm stupid, so yeah.

Four-to-six here on Madhouse Radio on SyndicateRadio.tv.

It's a Saturday show, Madhouse Saturdays.

You guys just missed a prank call that we did to a Chinese restaurant.

It was pretty funny.

A Jack Masterson call.

guys, if you missed it. In the meantime, we're going to do

another prank here. Let's see what I got.

Chow Wagon. Ooh, driving at the Rebel.

That sounds good. Is it a drive-in theater

or a drive-in food place there, Tuck?

Drive-in food place, I guess.

I don't even know now.

This list is a year old, dude.

So I could...

Bear in mind, this list is a year old

so I don't even know if these two work or not.

Alright, cool.

Alright, let's call

Chow Wagon first. I'm going today...

I don't know, there's something about the gluttony

being an american but i'm going to be going to a buffet here at about i don't know about five

o'clock or something like that i'm gonna eat all you can eat dude but it's one of those nice buffets

where they got the the steak too you know you go and you have your plate let me ask you guys a

question uh baz i don't know if you ever go to these places or or uh tuck if you do but you know

when you go to all you can eat buffet and they have the steak bar you know they have the big grill

with the steak and have maybe some chicken and stuff like that and burgers but yeah they have

the steak there and you're supposed to ask you know how you want your meat and you you know they

They give it to you.

So how does that work?

Like, usually, like, I'll take my plate, and I'll go to where there's, and the guy will ask me, yeah.

And I'll say, yeah, can I get one medium or whatever?

And then they're like, okay, sure.

Are you just supposed to stand there and wait for the steak to get cooked, or do you just go back to your seat and come back later?

Like, what's the proper etiquette for that?

Because I never get it right.

I don't know.

I've never been to a buffet that's got that feature.

See, I don't know exactly how it works.

Yeah, I don't think the ones I usually go to don't have it right there.

You're in Florida

But those

Mansion church

The kind of places

That are a little bit more

High end

Yeah

Where it's like

You know

We go to low class buffets

Yeah

We have the low class buffets

Here too

I have

I have these

Country store buffets

They're like

Just whatever I got

Whatever

Yeah

They got corn

And they might have

A salad bar

They got some

Steak fried

Country fried steak

Everything

Yeah

They got some chicken fingers

For the kids

You just crowd them

On the pan

And you just grab it

yeah

okay

well those buffets

see over here

you know

we get those buffets

but then every once in a while

like in the turret

we're going to the Disney area

for this one

but for this one here

like you know

they got like

they include steak

you know

they can actually go

they grill the steak

in front of you

but I never know

because I'll take a plate

and I'll be in line

and I'll say

okay I want one medium

whatever

you know

and no one else has a problem

everyone you know

gets their steak

right when they ask for it

and every time with me

they're like

okay sure

and I just end up

standing there

sometimes I just leave

and I never come back

I don't understand

understand how the shit works like i literally i want to go and just say okay i want one steak

medium and i'll be back for it and i have you know then i'll go and i'll i'll get some fried

chicken and some mashed potatoes and whatever else is on the menu and i'll go back to my seat

and eat and come back i want to be able to come back and pick it up but i've done that before

and i come back and they'd be like what do you want like i already put my order in and i go

well it's gone now you know what i mean like so so i'm just supposed to stand there for 10

minutes while they cook the steak for me that's just that's retarded though i want to eat i don't

To be honest with you

If I was going to order a steak

I would go to the steak house

And order it

And get you to bring it

Like you're supposed to

Like an American

Yeah

Who wants

This smiggish

Maggoty

Upscale

Gimmicky

Crap

Yeah

Who wants to go to

That's just me man

That's just me

As American

Yeah

To get a steak

Delivered to your table

That's

You know what

You got a point

You get your steak

And you get

What are you guys like

I prefer

I prefer A1 sauce

I'm not a big fan of the

What's the other one

Special 7

what's that other one

that Heinz one

that sucks

it's like ketchup

what's that one

oh 57 sauce

57 isn't that bad

but I mean

yeah

I know what you're saying

A1 is

superb

and superior

and it will share

and all that

yeah it's not as sugary

it adds a little bit

of wetness to it

it's a perfect combination

a nice steak

with some gristle on there

you cut that bad boy

and I like to dip my A1

I put my A1 on the side

and I take a little

cut a little piece

and I dip it right there

in that A1 sauce

Yeah, that's probably because I dip it.

I dip now.

Back when they were younger, they would smother it, but now I dip it.

Yeah.

Better on that.

Guest 11629 says Heinz 57.

That's right.

That's the one, Heinz 57.

There was a big push in the 90s where Heinz 57 was trying to become the replacement for ketchup across America,

and they had the commercials going,

Why use ketchup?

Use Heinz 57 on your fries, on your burgers, on everything.

It's good on everything.

Real men use Heinz 57.

Like, yeah, okay, that's good.

Yeah, I remember that.

I remember that.

Oh, this is Heinz 57 with, like, 57 extra spices.

Well, hey, you know, they're trying to get their product.

It's Heinz.

They're trying to up their, you know, mix it, you know.

Yeah.

Anyone could do that.

They wouldn't really want it to.

Yeah.

I'm holding out for Heinz 58 sauce.

You can't blame them.

I'm waiting for that 58.

I make the 58 sauce myself out a little bit of nutmeg, do they, Heinz 57?

That's what I call number 58.

Call it a 58, a little bit of nutmeg in that.

When I get my Heinz 57, I drop a good two tablespoons of nutmeg in there.

Shake it up.

Oh, yeah.

Dick Cavett was the guy that was pushing that shit.

That would be a good premise for a prank call.

Call up a steakhouse and try to get them to make a 58 sauce.

I want a Heinz 58.

You know how to make a Heinz 58?

You got that one special ingredient, weed or something.

I don't know, something like that.

I don't do that stuff anymore, man.

Yep.

I'm enjoying it, too.

yeah it's just too expensive dude i'm saving a good amount of money without doing it and i'm

not as paranoid as good for my health and uh i mean dude you know what's going on this this

saturday show is going to become the kind of like a cool down we'll do a prank but we'll talk a lot

in the middle you know it's an afternoon we're just having fun it's a beautiful afternoon here

in orlando florida thank you everyone for listening anyway um i'm gonna start i'm gonna be going to

school full-time and working full-time starting in the fall i'm gonna be so stressed out so i

You've got to give up stuff like that, you know?

You've got to have a full, concentrated mind, no alcohol, no nothing.

You know, just behavior.

I totally agree with that because that's kind of what I ended up doing.

You know, up until, say, five years ago where I was, like, coming in and working and shit,

and I was still in that sort of that mindset of I have to have a beer, I have to have some speed or whatnot.

not, and when I really got

serious into the

illustration gig, I totally cut

that shit out.

You have to.

I felt like my mind had to focus

to what I was doing.

It's fun to do and everything. It's relaxing.

Or I got lazy and I wouldn't have

tried.

The thing with stuff like that,

it does dull things down.

I do agree. As far as your

synapses and stuff like that. It's okay

to do, but when you need to concentrate on stuff,

stuff on work or school or something, it's good to take a little bit of a break from

it.

Everything in moderation.

We're going to call the Golden Corral Restaurant, which is where I'm going to be going.

I'm calling the Golden Corral Restaurant.

I'm going to ask about the steak etiquette.

See if we can get that on the phone.

This here?

Call.

It's a blah, blah, blah food.

That's the show.

Blah, blah, food.

Thanks, everybody, for listening to Madhouse Radio.

We're hitting down the steak etiquette here.

Steak buffet line etiquette.

You can call me Golden Corral, and that's the steak etiquette.

Hey, sister, how are you doing today?

I'm good, I'm okay.

Look, there was an awkward situation there.

I like to come in sometimes for your buffet, your dinner buffet.

You guys do the steak, right?

You know, where you come and get all-you-can-eat steak?

Yeah, we actually, all-you-can-eat, yes, we do have steak.

We have also, let me look at the menu, hickory, what is it, hickory, chicken, everything for him.

Everything, we have everything.

And you got burgers on that grill, too, right?

Excuse me?

You got burgers on that grill now and stuff like that, too, right?

Probably, yes.

Okay, all right.

All right, so here's my question.

Question. I came in last week and it was kind of an awkward situation.

When you come in and you want a steak, let's say, right, how are you supposed to do it?

Because I come in, the first thing I do...

I can't really hear you.

Okay, how are you supposed to ask for the steak from the Haitian guy who's making the steaks?

How are you supposed to ask the Haitian guy?

No, well, all you got to do is just, like, make sure he acknowledges you,

and then from there he should be able to give you a piece of steak without you asking him.

Well, the last time I came in, right, and he nods at me.

I mean, like, okay, I want one.

I said it really slow, you know, because he speaks Creole.

I said, I want one medium well.

They said, okay, and that's it.

And I stood there for ten minutes waiting for a steak.

Here's my, look, everyone, this always happens to me.

Do I put in the order for the steak, and can I get some more food and come back for it,

or am I supposed to wait there for it?

I'm not sure.

Do you want to speak to my manager?

Yeah, maybe the manager knows better than you.

Okay.

All right.

I didn't mean to be rude about that, but, you know.

I'm sorry about that.

I mean, it's horrible, though.

I'm sorry you had to experience that.

No, it's okay.

You're missing an X chromosome, and it's okay.

Don't worry about it.

Okay, please tell them from a manager.

Okay, no problem.

Have a good day.

All right, cutie.

What do women have, an Y chromosome or an extra X chromosome?

How does it work?

X, Y are women.

And then men are XX, right?

No, no, XX.

XX.

Y is men.

I watch Jurassic Park, yeah.

XX women.

Yeah, XX women.

They don't have the Y.

XY is, okay, right.

Right, and then if you have three, if you have an extra X, you're down syndrome.

Yep.

Trisomy, X trisomy, where you have three chromosomes and one of them is an X.

X trisomy.

Trisomy, yeah.

And if you have two Ys, you won't survive after childbirth at all.

This is Mike, how can I help you?

Big Mike, what's going on, brother man?

Question about the etiquette when you go get a steak.

Like, I went there and the Haitian guy said, hey, this is last week, I'm coming in again tonight, right?

Now, are you supposed to ask for your steak and stand there and wait for the steak,

or are you supposed to just come back when the steak is ready?

Because, like, I put so long time in the water, I've got to eat.

Well, it really shouldn't take that long.

It depends when you come.

It really shouldn't take that long.

We always have steaks cooked.

But I want a well-done steak.

Whatever temperature you want it.

Well done.

I mean, come on.

I don't, you know, I'm not going to eat any meat that a good veterinarian could have saved the body of the animal, you know?

Well, that's up to you.

I mean, you can tell the guy that you'll be right back or something like that.

But typically, people wait for their steak.

Well, I told the guy I'm back.

He was some Haitian guy.

I was like, I'm going to be right back.

And he's like, oh, Demi, Demi, Demi.

Where was this at?

I don't know.

Some Golden Corral.

I'm a tourist, sir.

I've been here for two weeks.

All right, so we're coming in again today, me and the kids.

But, I mean, I want to make sure, because last time I said that to him, and he said,

yeah, but not my mom.

And I wanted, you know, fried chicken, and I had some pot pie that you guys had there,

stuff like that.

I don't know what it was.

Came back in 10 minutes, and he said, oh, too late.

You know, he, like, gave it away to somebody.

The manager?

It wasn't around.

No one's minding the store.

It's like three people for the manager.

No one said nothing.

then it's like huh huh why well i don't know no one no one wasn't here because i don't have any

haitians working here so it probably wasn't my store oh i gotcha i gotcha so you don't yeah

that's a good thing though you guys what's the what's the one that has a lot of haitians in it

maybe it's down in fort lauderdale or something how far is fort lauderdale from here it wasn't

there there was another one close to disney man well there's nine stores in orlando what is up

with you people just feeding and feeding feeding feeding you guys gotta cut it out sometimes

seriously though all right so so i'm supposed to go and stand there and wait for my steak for

For like 10, 15 minutes.

It usually doesn't take that long.

It takes about five minutes.

A good...

Even if you want it all done.

Because we always have steaks cooking.

Do you think it's fair that a man comes into a buffet and has to wait five minutes before he eats?

That's just the wait time.

I don't know.

I mean, you can go to your seat and come back up.

Usually they wait for you and they put a piece aside for you.

Steak.

Oh, Jesus.

Steak is gone.

This is not fair.

It says if you have one X, then you have Up Syndrome.

That's good.

That's what I want.

Up Syndrome.

I got Up Syndrome.

Guest says to order my steak now.

Wait, can I go in and put an order in for a well-done steak so I can just pick it up and go to my seat and eat it?

It's a buffet, but I want to come in, and by the time that I get to the steak guy, I want that steak to be ready.

I'm not going to just be waiting around five, ten minutes again for the Haitian guy to make the steak.

To this store?

Yeah, of course.

The one by Orlando.

I'm in Orlando.

There's nine of them in Orlando.

Yeah, but I'm in the one in Orlando.

It's like central Orlando.

May I have your name, please?

Dante.

Excuse me?

Can we get a phone number?

278.

That's my work number.

I can't contact you through your work number.

Well, don't get a message to me or something.

I don't give my personal number to people.

I don't know.

I mean, you're a stranger.

You want me to get a to-go order ready for you?

I need a number.

I didn't say to-go.

I said I'm going to come in and eat the steak,

but I want it to be ready by the time I get to the heat.

It starts at 4 o'clock.

Well, why don't you put in that order.

I want that steak to be ready at 4 o'clock.

When do you start making the steaks?

At 4 o'clock?

4 o'clock.

4.10 is when I get my steak.

That's unacceptable, sir.

10 minutes for a steak?

If you want it well done, it'll be about 4.10, 4.15.

Start it at 3.50.

Right at 4 o'clock.

Okay, sir, if you don't do that, I'm going to be very upset.

I'm going to hold you personally accountable for it.

I'm not going to pay.

I'm going to ask for a refund.

Okay, no problem.

That steak better be ready.

Hey, she got on the phone now to make sure you're going to get my steak,

and he's not going to do nothing to it?

This is conversations.

If you want to come and talk to face-to-face, we'll talk face-to-face.

Oh, what's going to happen?

Fist to cuffs?

Are you threatening me?

He's threatening me.

Face-to-face, everybody, here in the mouth.

That's how we do it.

That's how we fuck here.

You're not going to go.

You wouldn't even go anyway

That's funny

I am going to go there

In a little bit too

I'll be there in about two hours

He's going to be

You the mother

Are you the guy

Who called about the Haitians

And the steak

Yeah that's me

Don't come out there

I don't know what you're talking about

I don't like to check a place

Oh shit balls

Yeah man

You have to let us know

How your confrontation goes

Yeah

I'll call live from there

Live

This is Carlito

Live on location

or I've just been arrested and accused of this, this, this, that.

Anyway, let's go ahead and play a prank call here.

I promise that I play this one again for...

That's what Henry was writing, by the way, the Disneyland one.

What was that, homeboy?

It reminded me quickly of that Phil Henry Disneyland remote bit that you played.

Oh, yeah, I've played that twice already, but that's good.

Yeah, he gets some kid with ball bearings going around flicking Phil Henry's nuts

while he's doing a live remote in Disneyland,

and he keeps like

he's like

we're here at Disneyland

like that you know

and the lady calls in

talking to security at Disney

yeah the lady gets scared

and calls Disney and stuff

that's what's pretty funny

alright let's play this

this is a prank called by

prank baller

bro bro

Cory something or another

Hey, stop it, Chica Chica!

You bad chode, God damn it, you motherfucker!

You come in and suck my ass!

You pen chode, stop this nonsense!

You fuck you!

You madarchod, son of a bitch you are!

You are a bastard, biggest bastard that is alive around in New York!

I fuck you!

You pen chode, you madarchod, son of a bitch!

what does he say

he says something like that

what does he say

you are a bastard

biggest bastard that is alive

around in New York

I fuck you

you mother shit

son of a bitch

you banshee

I know banshee means sister fucker

He calls him a sister fucker

That's funny

I like that prank

That kid

He was telling me today

What was that?

He sounds like that guy

That genius to call

Oh yeah

Yeah yeah yeah

And Indigo Fun says

Mother child is motherfucker

Yeah that's true

That's true.

And then Lan means penis.

I never isolated that call.

Remember the one where I called the...

It was me and Hollywood Vanja.

You know what I'm talking about?

And we called that Indian restaurant.

We called Curry in a Hurry.

That's the one.

I think it might be on the forums, on the Madhouse forums.

Everyone who's listening today for the first time or a regular listener, we have about 11 plus 24.

We've got 35 listeners.

Not bad.

Thanks, everybody.

Visit Madhouse5.com and check out the forums there.

We get a lot of prank calls that are isolated.

And for anybody who was wondering what happened to Hollywood, he messaged me the other day offline that he almost died and was in the hospital.

And he had explained it to me, and he never explained it to me.

Wow.

Yeah.

I think he got sick or something.

I don't know what happened to him, but I hope he's okay.

Whoa.

Whoa, excuse me.

Excuse me.

So, yeah.

Oh, we got a prank call request here also.

Let's take a look at that real quick.

Put some music if you don't mind.

Start up the music machine.

Thank you.

The Dead's on camera.

Always good seeing him.

Nice and bright and shiny.

The king of the CPs over there.

The Dead.

dead see we got a prank request here from william he says uh he sent a number for clarence clarence

guilty he gets bad grades his girlfriend is always cheating on emma and he lives with his mom

all right well he's going to school i would hope so uh he can fight and he's dirty a lot and he

can't dress he can fight he's dirty a lot and he can't dress that's nasty all right we'll give him

a call in a moment he lives in chicago cool beans trying to get the whole see if i can find this uh

that call the way that's occurring in a hurry see if i can find it here real quick because i got to

to take a leak anyway i'm going to go into the madhouse vaults let's see here jenna q let's see

what we got here so far we got jen you you tell me there's one that you want to hear we'll play it

uh jen accuses a woman of being an alien jen stewart calls an indian restaurant maybe is that

it i think that's a different one jack mashers and the king of escort pimps uh where jen's been

too we haven't heard from him in a while huh he's been kind of chilling in the cut he comes to go

yeah he has his good days and his bad days he'll show up you know all of a sudden let's see dr

Dr. Carlito, I don't want to hear that one.

Let's see what else we got here.

Sean Ward Montage, Hollywood Vanya calls it.

Judge holds court in parking lot for a 500-pound man.

I don't know what that one is.

Again, can you interrupt me?

The Hollywood Vanya got in a car wreck.

I'm not sure.

He sent me a message that said that he almost died.

I will explain it to you later, and that's the last we heard.

Never heard any more from him after that.

That was on Tuesday, I think he sent me that message.

I hope he's okay.

Is this the Circle K?

Okay, is this the circle? Okay, but lady, I'm gonna pass on you lucky. You're lucky. I'm passing on you. You understand

No, I'm saying I'm just gonna pass on you I'm gonna let this unless oh you do

How's you need to fit those puppies in?

She's checking checking everybody asking you have 44 ounce cups, right?

So what what bra size, you know holds those base breast size holds the 44 ounce cops

Okay, that was a classic prank call.

Not really, but it was a previous prank call.

I found the curry in a hurry.

Here we go.

It's on YouTube.

Actually, if you go to YouTube.com forward slash Madhouse Radio,

you can actually watch this one.

It's up there in the video archives on Madhouse TV on the main site,

MadhouseLive.com.

Let's play that real quick.

And I'm going to call them actually after the call plays.

so everyone we're going to call this place but so you see what we're calling here this is curry

in a hurry a prank from about uh three weeks ago and then we're actually going to call them back

right now oh

Oh, yeah, and also keep in mind when you hear this, the word lawn in Indian means penis.

And what are the other ones, I think?

Like we already said Banchu is sister fucker.

Madrachod is motherfucker, we said here, right?

Right, okay, that's right.

What else do we use in this call?

I'm not sure.

And in India, in Indian food, there's naan bread.

I'm sure you all know what it is.

Naan bread is almost like a pita that they make with onion and stuff like that.

And instead, I'm calling it lawn bread, which means penis bread.

Anyway, let's listen to that.

That was funny.

Forget to squeeze ban chur in there.

Curry in a hurry, please.

Curry for me.

Can you get a curry ready for me?

Bring it, my sir.

Chee mukul.

Sean, can you get a curry ready for me?

What do you want?

20 minutes.

You have it ready for me?

Oh, we're close.

You're sure you're not cutting in a hurry, you're cutting?

Yeah, we're pretty close right now.

What time do you open in the morning?

Eleven.

Eleven? Why are you laughing at me?

You laugh because I'm...

Tell me, how soon can you...

If I place an order in the morning, how can you have it to me?

You deliver?

Who is this?

This is Ali Kamal.

What time can you have it to me?

You deliver?

To you?

Yes.

I need some take out.

You do that in the morning? Eleven?

Yes.

Cucumber curry?

No.

You want big cucumber or small cucumber?

Do you have big one?

Not in stewed lawn, I like bread where you have the lawn

Cool

X

That urge

This breasted is lunch, is it?

Oh, this is fresh lawn

This is all

It's all fresh lawn

You like it crispy, Milan?

Yeah, I, I, do you guys put under something?

What is that?

Yeah, we actually put some cream sauce on it

Oh, well, what?

That sounds kinda good, I might like that

Pakistani

Very, very speedo

Is it real?

Heard of this before

Tastes good, I've never heard of it before

Is it, what's it called?

It's what?

Mecha

Mecha, mecha, ask

Ask what?

Mecha, mecha, aska

Mecha, aska

Don't know if there's any bancho

Do you have a, do you have any, um, anchooed? Sir? Anchooed ass.

Sister doesn't have bitch.

Sister fucker.

Sister-

Get your ass over here, you fucking cunt.

You bastard.

Arm, she has no arms.

Farm with her.

Sure.

Adi Lan.

Ted, Ted Amadi Lan.

Lan, what are you, American?

We said his mom's, mom's penis, that's what we said.

No, I'm not American, sir. I'm Samoan.

Adi Lan, too.

She's Italian, so if she's Russian-Italian, would you suggest for her?

Would you suggest that she had much for her Lan before?

She's never had lawn.

I've had plenty of lawn.

It's about to start charging with a square foot.

That was fun.

Terminate, terminate.

That's right, everybody.

Ryan, terminate the call.

Hello?

Am I audible?

What's going on here?

Why can't I hear myself anymore?

What the hell?

I can hear myself.

I can hear you.

All right, well.

I usually hear myself when I'm talking.

Now I don't.

Whatever.

Okay.

Tuck.

Tuck, who should we call next?

Let's see.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

I said I was going to call the occurring hurry next.

Let's try that.

Give me a moment here real quick.

We'll go.

Hurry.

Hurry up.

Hurry up, bastard.

We got a half hour left of prank calls here to do.

And next week, I promise I'll remember that my show is four to six.

Not the other way around.

I don't know where I got that from.

That is a two to four show.

I do remember now completely.

I have no idea where I got that from.

Anyway, next prank call.

Hey, call that Vietnamese restaurant I sent you.

I thought it was just some strange time that they had you scheduled you as.

It kind of squeezed you a little bit, but it's the only time in a row I can do it.

it all right so we're gonna call your number next fucking long vietnamese restaurant and that is in

saipan or where is it at exactly is it in the states that's in las vegas las vegas all right

cool the uh orlando's the wannabe vegas let's call that hello hello hey diddy mal i'm good

let's make it please okay of lawn bread exactly what i said you dumb shit do you think i said

dead man oh sir can i speak to the head immigrant over there please you're the head immigrant

sir yeah okay phone home i got i got punching phone home oh there he goes now i can hear myself

again yay all right punching phone home probably in the photo game what the hell is that supposed

to mean let's see let's see if we get a replay of that it's a replay here in 98.6

98.6

No.

Yeah, just call Pungshim.

Pungshim, sir?

Pungshim?

Yeah, okay.

Phone home.

Pungshim, phone home.

That's all we get.

Pungshim, phone home.

That's exactly what it sounds like to me.

Son of a bitch.

Pungshim, phone home.

That's exactly what it sounds like to me.

One of those prank calls where you get foreigners who say stuff that you have no idea what they say.

What was that other one we did?

Where the guy was a foreigner and I had no idea what he...

What was the title of that call?

The Box of Boners?

Bucket of Boners?

Bucket of Boners.

I think that's what he said, right?

Bucket of Boners.

Let's play that here for anyone who's probably heard it a thousand times already

as I try to kill some time here.

I'm one of those Bucket of Boners.

This is available on the Madhouse Radio website.

I should have put this on the CD.

You know that?

How close are you to here?

Like five minutes away.

Oh, okay.

I just got to get the wheelchair.

I'll be there soon.

Can I talk to the guy back there?

Let me ask him in person if that's okay.

Who, bro?

Yeah, bro.

Put bro on.

Okay.

All right.

How can I help you?

Buddy, I was asking for a gristle sandwich.

Is that possible this time of night?

What do you need?

Well, you know when you make the steak, right?

Yeah.

Okay, you take that spatula, you scrub all that stuff off the grill.

You take a piece of white bread and you fold it in half and you run it longwise along the spatula.

And you take a slice of American cheese and you put it right down the half.

Who is this?

This is Ralph Littlejohn.

Where are you coming from?

I'm coming from my house, sir.

I mean, you know, because I'm Samoan doesn't mean I'm a piece of...

I don't know who you are.

I'm Samoan.

I'm a Samoan.

I'm a Croatian-Italian.

Oh, you're one of those.

Yeah, I'm one of those bucket of foreigners.

What do you want to tell me?

A gristle sandwich and a medium well steak, and I was asking him what kind of rub, but he doesn't know.

He's just a kid, that guy.

He's a kid.

What kind of sandwich do you want?

He wrote a 16-ounce grill on a steak, or you want a...

What would you like?

I mean, steak meats.

Do you have steak?

Okay.

Do you have steak meats?

Sorry, sir, I don't understand.

You better come over here.

No, no, no, don't hang up.

Don't hang up.

No, don't you dare.

I am going to hang on.

You're playing with me and my fucking mind.

Listen, I'm the owner.

You don't hang up.

Who do you own?

The owner of the restaurant is me.

You're not the owner of the fucking restaurant.

I'm the owner.

I have the papers right here in my hands.

Good.

Then you keep it.

You know what?

You take your papers, you roll them up tight, you shove them in your ass, Croatian.

You too.

Sideways.

I'm Serbian.

Fuck you.

I'm a Serbian, you bastard.

Madhouse Radio.

It's a bunch of shit.

Thursday nights at 10 p.m.

Madhouse Raiders is a bunch of shit

New news reminded me, that's right

Italy lost to Holland

Like two or three days ago in soccer

And Italy's like the defending champions, man

They won the cup in 06

What's that all about, you fucking Italians

Get Ted on here and explain that, their failure

The tree, remember your failure at the tree

If anybody realizes

What reference that movie that is

Let me know

The tree, remember your failure at the tree

Well, you guys are on the internet.

I'm sure you know what movie that came from.

I'm sure there's at least one person who knows where that came from.

Anyway, so, as I said, we're going to call Curry in a hurry.

This is from a few weeks ago.

We just played their prank call just a moment ago.

I can't find it now.

I had it a second ago.

Ask them to host a LAN party.

Yeah, a PC LAN party.

Here it is.

Curry in a hurry in Salt Lake City, Utah.

One moment, folks.

Lunchtime prank calls here.

Madhouse Radio, Saturday nights.

Hello, Curry in a hurry?

Stupid order?

She's not dead, I know.

Well, who's this?

What do you mean she's not here right now?

Now, what the fuck is that you hung up on me?

What kind of service is that?

I'm going to call him right back, bastard.

Hello?

Can I make an order, please?

Excuse me?

Can I make an order, please?

Yes.

Good.

What do you like, sir?

I want to ask you, first of all, why did you just hang up on me, though?

What did I do wrong?

I mean, if I made something, if I, you know, are we supposed to do a handshake first, or

how did, what was the proper way of me making an order?

Excuse me, sir?

What's the proper way of making an order?

Because the last time you said that she wasn't there anymore, I guess I, did I say that I

was asking for a woman or something, or?

Oh.

What?

Yesterday?

about yesterday i'm saying i just called a little bit ago and you said she's not you said she's not

here and you hung up on me but uh she's uh my wife she's not right now what do you need sir

right oh i don't i didn't ask for your wife i asked to make an order okay how's your wife

what how many people no this is an order for food i'm not making bringing people over at all it's

just one person okay can you call for eight nine eight two three eight one sir no no who's this

This woman you're talking about that I'm supposed to talk to, what's this?

Today?

Yeah, today.

Who's the woman I'm supposed to talk to today and make an order?

How do I get some food?

She's work here.

Okay, but did I ask for her or did I not say I want to make an order?

No, you make, you give me the order, no problem.

But why did you hang up on me before?

Please explain why.

What did I do?

She's hang up?

No.

She's busy, I'm sorry.

Sir, I will play, I have this recorded.

I will play where you hung up on me and said that she's not here anymore.

Don't make me do that.

One second.

Let me talk to her, please.

Put her on.

Because you said she's not there and now you're lying.

I don't talk to liars.

What are you doing, sister?

Hi.

That man hung up the phone on me and said that you weren't there.

Chod, over here.

Yes, I want to eat and I want some bhenchod.

You want to eat?

Bhenchod.

You come in and eat.

I come to order for food.

So I want...

You come in, you are ready.

All food is ready.

It was like a buffet?

You need a...

How many plates you want to order?

What about your sister?

What about Benchot?

I don't know why you say that.

What is Benchot or Gandu?

What is that?

Bhenchod.

I don't understand you.

Bhenchod.

Ask the man, has any Bhenchod?

No.

It is.

Ask him for Bhenchod, please.

Inform me, please.

Just say, hey, do you have Bhenchod?

Yes, sir.

Yeah, do you have any Bhenchod?

Do you have any Bhenchod?

No.

Bhenchod.

I can't hear you, sir.

You call...

No Banshoot.

Banshoot.

Do you have any of that Banshoot shit?

Hang on, hang on.

What is the number again?

Give it to me now.

What is it?

898.

Give me number.

And who's this?

Who is that?

Who is it?

What is the area code?

Ron, what is your name?

What's your name?

Okay, Ron.

I'm going to be caught with a big complaint, okay?

Okay, you're a bad person.

Okay, he's a bad person.

We're going to call that other number, see, whatever.

Talk to the owner.

The beautiful thing of these spoof cards is I'm going to spoof the number as the restaurant and call the owner.

Here we go.

The owner's name is, but we'll find out, some woman.

French guy asking what prank call means.

Answer.

We go in.

French is us.

French balloons.

I was going down.

Hello.

Hey, sir.

That lady didn't answer the phone, and she told me you had to help me out.

Who me?

She didn't answer the phone, and then she said you had to help me out.

that I'm supposed to talk to you for help?

Hold on, hold on for a minute.

Maybe she's calling me.

Okay.

Maybe she's calling me.

I go to a specialty tobacco store.

Oh, dude, dude, dude, talking.

I know you guys talking, Baz.

I don't think you guys are cigar smokers or stuff like that,

but there is a place here in Orlando.

You call her right now.

She's available.

Well, look, man, do you have a conference call there or something?

Because she's not picking up the phone for me.

Yeah, she's other line.

She's call other body.

I call right now.

She say you call her.

Okay.

Well, just remember, Ron, I'm going to make a big complaint because you're a bad man.

He hung up on me.

I was trying to call back again now.

This lady, this woman, was supposed to play music.

Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.

Hello?

The owner of the restaurant?

It is, yes.

Okay, well, I'm calling from here.

And this man said I had to ask you about, you know, what kind of stuff that you had there.

Who's running the ship over here?

Who's running the fort?

It's a whole family.

It's owned by families.

Then why did this...

It's a hurry in a hurry.

Obviously, it has to be curry.

When you ask a question, what's sold there?

Oh, wow.

Look at you, wow.

Very nasty.

Very bad person, you, huh?

Why am I bad?

When I tell you it's curry, that's why, when it's dead?

Well, you don't have to be nasty.

You don't have to be nasty with me.

And you have to be nasty with us?

I was not nasty.

I was making an order.

This woman said...

Why don't you ask me what we sell?

We sell curry.

I didn't ask what you sell.

I tried to make an order, and the man said,

She's not here right now

And hung up the phone on me

I have it on recording

If you want to hear it

Do you not believe me?

We don't make orders

It's like a fast food

Well then I asked

It's an order

It's ready to go

Listen

I was asking a question

If they carried one thing

Okay I had it once

I went to India

On a business trip

I had it

And the man said

You need to call the woman

The woman

I don't call women

He's trying to get some big order

For tomorrow

For a party

And that's what he thought

They're calling for

Well, he was a very mean person on the phone with me, and said mean and nasty things to me.

Sorry about that, because he's my husband, and we both run the business together.

And as I told him that somebody was trying to call for an order, he told me he was very busy.

And if someone wants to place an order, they can call me, and I can go ahead and take the order.

If it's a big order, like for 20, 30 people, we do take orders.

If it's for one person, we don't.

No, but this is for 32 people who are going to be here at the VFW.

Well, if you still feel like you want to order, go ahead and give me your order.

I'll go ahead and take it.

Okay, so the last...

If you've ever been to my place, have you tried my food?

Did you like it?

That's the main thing.

You're talking a lot, I think.

Can I make the order now, please?

Do you like my food?

Have you ever tried it?

Does it matter?

I'm not eating it.

The old people are eating it, not me.

Don't be fresh, okay?

Because we're doing a favor for you.

I'm doing a favor for you.

I'm bringing you business, so don't be nasty, okay?

Okay, let's do it this way.

You don't have to bring me your business.

Why don't you just take me to any other place?

No, please, I'm sorry.

Because if I don't get it from you, then I'm going to get fired.

Please.

And then, how come you're being nasty?

If you like my food so much, how come you're being so nasty?

Because from the beginning, that guy just hung up on me.

He said, she's not here and hung up the phone.

It's me who takes big orders.

If it's a big order, it's me who carries them.

I already got a 25 people order for tomorrow.

Yes.

And he thought it's the same person calling me again.

That's why he said to talk to me.

Okay, no more fighting, okay?

Peace between me and you, okay?

Okay, can we be peaceful?

Can we be friends?

If you try to talk to me nicely, that's when I'll do that.

Okay, all right.

So I'm going to make an order.

I need, for 32 people, I need some, what is it called again, Baz?

I forgot.

Baz will tell me in a second.

I think it's bonchud.

Bonchud.

Is there bonzo?

Bonchud.

We have bonzo.

No, I want bonchud.

I don't know what kind of food that is.

with lawn with do you have any lawn why don't you meet me this evening at the place and then

we'll just oh we're gonna fight huh you bring it on come on i could take it see you bye i want

some lawn bread she's not having it that was funny though she's like why do you want to meet

you tonight for your lawn she wants my oh see that's what it was i'm gonna call the guy back

and say hey you old lady me and her giggity giggity giggity let me call him real quick

that'll be the last call of the day spoofing the number as the wife called hey hello hey your

Your wife said that she wants to get it with me.

She wants it tonight from a real man like Mr. T and Rocky III.

You remember that?

You remember Rocky III when Mr. T was like,

Hey, woman, you want it from a real man?

I said that to her.

She said, Oh, yeah, I want it from a real man.

So tonight, me and her, right here, listen.

We're going to give it to her tonight.

Your wife, your old lady, your mother-in-law.

Mother-in-law tonight, man.

Want to join in?

I mean, you want to ride the train, sir?

Call my wife?

Yeah, I called her, and we had a good conversation.

Okay.

And she said, me and her tonight are going to have some chode.

She wants my lawn tonight, she said.

We had an agreement.

We're going to meet in person tonight, and we're going to kiss.

We're going to make kissing in front of you and make you jealous.

Your marriage is over.

Maybe if you weren't mean to me, I wouldn't have sex with your wife tonight.

I called my wife.

You left me no choice, sir.

Maybe she'll get pregnant.

And you're going to have to raise the kids, because I'm not married to her.

You are.

are okay prove prove they're not my kids prove it buddy come on excuse me i said prove that your

your woman that your wife's kid is not my kid prove it all right you are all morning ask you

how good i taste and you're gonna know okay okay all right good all right all right tomorrow

morning and ask him how good i taste we'll do that live here on syndicate radio you should listen to

that everybody oh shit all right so we're out of here it's 3 58 we got two minutes just enough time

to say goodbye to all the people who are listening it's over yeah it's a two-hour show

Well, I'm going, dude, I'm going out to eat steak at a place that I, I'm going out to eat steak at the restaurant that I just insulted, you know, the manager at.

So, we'll see how that goes.

We'll see if I don't get in trouble for that one.

Ring a little Zoom mic or Zoom recorder.

Yep.

All right, well, if you're listening to us tonight, be sure to listen to us.

We're here usually, we're on Thursday nights and Saturday afternoons.

Thursday nights, 10 p.m. Eastern until usually 12, 30, 1 o'clock in the morning.

That's starting at 7 p.m. Pacific time.

And we also are on Saturday's correction from 4 until 7 Eastern.

So usually we would be starting the show right about now.

I made a mistake.

But next week we'll be on in our normal time, 4 p.m. Eastern.

Be sure to stay tuned to SyndicateRadio.tv.

Be sure to stay tuned to this channel here.

I'm sure there will be plenty of interesting stuff to listen to.

Tonight, of course, you will have Tabitha Stevens will be on tonight.

and Hooknose Mike will also be on tonight as well

be sure to catch that tonight

a lot of good programming here

and also be sure to visit my website

madhouselive.com

you can check out the Prank Call archives

we've got a lot of Prank Calls there

in the forums and on the main site

we've got a free CD you can download

and burn

free Prank Call CD out there for you

you can also buy an autographed copy from me

I'll send it to you

and the podcast of course

you can also subscribe to that

and get regular updates of shows

and Prank Calls here

we're here twice a week now

and I wouldn't have it any other way.

What about you, Tuck?

Anything to plug?

You're over at,

you got the Prank Call podcast yourself,

the TuckermicRevolution.

PrankCall.info.com

Okay, everyone be sure to check that out

and also go to Tuckermic.com

that's where you can get links to that stuff as well

as well as your comic book and all that goodness.

And, I don't know,

we're also on the PCU station as well tonight.

That's over at PCU today.

I always make that mistake.

It's going to be hard not to do that.

madhouseradio.com

non-affiliated to the other stuff

what used to be the KDK station

anyway, we're out of here

catch you here on Thursday

thanks for listening everybody

peace out

Madhouse Radio is live Thursday nights at 10pm Eastern

why don't you shut the hell up

fuck you, fuck you fucking people

Calls (10, 40 min of 1 h 30 min)

Transcript

Comments 0