2008-08-28 Show

Oh, who the fuck is this?

You are listening to the House Radio Podcast.

Welcome to the stage with a great big hand.

Dogs.

What's going on, everybody?

Good evening.

Madhouse Radio's on the air.

Ladies.

Hey, guys.

How are you?

I've been monitoring here on the side of the Democratic National Conventions.

As a matter of fact, we're going to have to go to breaking news right now.

Everybody, please hold on just a moment, please.

You got it.

Barack Obama's taking the stage.

You're going to hear his first opening remarks here.

This is history in the making, and I'm forcing you all to listen to it.

I'm shifting as I speak, ladies and gentlemen.

The paradigm is shifting.

A shift in the paradigm.

He says this about ten times.

Thank you.

How many is that?

Five?

No, thank you.

Six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

Jesus.

Thirteen.

Fourteen.

Thank you.

Thank you so much. Thank you so much, everybody. Thank you. Thank you, everybody. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you, everybody. To Chairman Dean and my great friend, Dick Durbin. Thank you. And to all my fellow citizens, great nation. Yeah. With profound gratitude and great humility, I accept your nomination for presidency.

oh thank god boy i wasn't sure he was going to do it

he could have come he could have he could have come out and said uh you know just i don't know

i just don't think we'll do it i thought about it they got to kill my ass and we decided to

give it to him i don't want to erase this thanks to the historic slate of candidates

who accompanied me on this journey and especially the one who traveled the farthest

A champion for working Americans and an inspiration to my daughters and yours, Hillary Rodham Clinton.

To President Clinton, to President Bill Clinton, who made last night the case for change as only he can make it.

That was a good Clinton speech.

I've never heard a bad Clinton speech, actually, ever.

And to the next Vice President of the United States, Joe Biden, I thank you.

Great choice, by the way. Good man.

Man, he kicked ass.

I am grateful to finish this journey with one of the finest statesmen of our time.

A man at ease with everyone from world leaders to the conductors on the Amtrak train.

He still takes home every night.

I don't buy that.

For the love of my life, our next first lady, Michelle Obama.

Hey, shut up.

Tell them, man.

They're cheering, man.

They love Michelle Obama.

All right, we're going to wrap it up here.

We've got to do some pranks.

We've got to get to the show.

Come on.

That's Malia and Sasha.

I wanted to see this though

I'm an Obama fan

I'm so proud of you

support of his

I had to make sure

I at least caught the beginning of this

he's gonna be his kid

and then he's gonna

he's gonna thank his mama

that's dead

and his dad

that wasn't around

and his brother in the Congo

or wherever

and

someone came up to him

on the campaign trail

and said a sad

sad story

oh that pisses me off

the people

I said that early this year

if I catch any of these fuckers

I won't vote for him

because of

I met Susie Cream Cheese over there.

I met her in Minnesota.

She told me that she can't do this.

Her husband's penis doesn't work anymore.

They can't afford Viagra.

I met this girl in Florida.

She got hit by this crazy guy that drove a Honda car that drove across 12 lanes of traffic

and hit me head on and tight-sweat my car.

Oh, my God.

Why, are you stupid?

Well, you making fun of me now, little man?

At least my dogs don't bark in the middle of the show.

There's a woman that was driving.

Of course it's her fault.

What do you expect?

Women drivers out there know what I'm talking about.

Oh, the worst drivers.

Little Madhouse Radio is here.

We just took a quick break there to hear Senator Barack Obama's opening statements of his acceptance speech.

Wrapping up the DNC convention in Denver tonight, Thursday, August the 28th.

Right.

He's probably...

That's not Violet and Kurt either.

Yeah.

I'll watch the rest of that later.

I'm sure it's recording.

It's supposed to be recording in HD.

I think it is.

If not, I'm sure it'll be on YouTube.

I'm sure they'll replay it anyway.

It'll be replayed, but, you know.

I'll catch the Clip Notes version of it.

No big deal.

For sure, I'll watch it.

I'll see it.

Yeah.

Larry King will play it later.

Hey, man.

We got some new...

All the members coming back, man.

Neil's in the house, dude.

Man, who's that?

that we got eels in the house that's good good to see neo big evil neo little evil neo

am i okay sort of in the middle evil neo and sometimes good neo she can be good she could

be a good girl when she feels like she can be good

hi everybody we're going to be doing our thing here of course as always every thursday night

it calls comedy news oh yeah it's manhouse radio manhouse radio that's right things of the like

We're just here to do what we do folks

Everybody joining us

Thank you so much

You can reach me over at Madhouse Radio

If you're using AOL on Yahoo Instant Messenger

Once again that's Madhouse Radio

And if you're using MSN Messenger

You can also reach me at MadhouseAtLive.com

Once again that's MadhouseAtLive.com

If you're using MSN Messenger

I am not feeling good

You know what Milkman

Can you halt the music real quick here for a second please

If you don't mind

Okay

On a serious note, I think I might actually come true about something that's been going on in my life here.

We never do serious topics here on this show, but this is something that's seriously going on right now with me.

I know I'm a joker. I know I'm a pranker.

I like to mess around, but I'm contemplating whether or not to do it because I like to keep things lighthearted here.

But this is something serious, and I don't know.

I don't really know if I really...

I feel like venting about it and maybe just getting it off my chest

and coming true with a lot of you folks about something that's going on right now in my life.

And this is something that even Milkman, who's like one of my...

Milkman's probably, you know, of my one, two, or three best friends out there in the world,

Milkman's up there, most definitely out there.

Him, Andy, and my parents, and my girl.

Yeah, you know, whatever.

I hate you, Tuck, though.

You suck.

You got to tune out if I say it.

the forums got fucked up

anybody catch that

that was crazy

over at madhouselive.com

we have our forums

working on fixing them

they're a little stabilized

but the pranks are up

you have to copy paste

the links right now

if you want to hear them

they're not playing

in the forums

like automatically

but I should be able

to get that fixed

Hollywood

it's like some images work

and some don't

yeah

I don't know

all the avatars

are gone

except for the avatars

that were like

built in

yeah

to the

to the main frame

of it

it's a nightmare

I'm gonna have to

try to work on it

um

so yeah

madhouselife.com

of course

all our friends

over at syndicate radio

syndicateradio.tv

that's me

I'm pointing at you

right now

you motherfuckers

you sons of bitch

fire up man

hey

no you're kidding

Show your titties.

There he goes.

Show your titties.

Let's even already get written there.

Hang on.

What's it say?

Born to pork.

All right, man.

Hell yeah.

Born to pork.

Oh, boy.

That's a dry nap.

Pork bellies.

Thanks, Sean.

I'll talk to you tomorrow night.

Do we have any pork-related prank calls we can play tonight?

Yeah, we do.

We got license to pork.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

What a fucking week this has been.

All right.

Artie's back.

Artie's in his new dorm over at UCF, man.

Over at Lake Claire, man.

He didn't believe me.

I was talking to him privately, and I was like, man, those dorms, the ones you're moving

into, they look like cell blocks, literally.

If you look at the back of it right now, it's got those big, huge bricks.

You see?

He's showing it right now.

I warned him.

And he's like, no, they're dope.

The living room has like a big ass fire alarm that goes, they got a big ass fire alarm and

they do like a, they used to do like fire, like alarm, like drills, like at two o'clock

in the morning and you're like required to come out like in your pajamas and stuff.

Yeah.

My God, dude, those, those dorms at UCF suck, suck.

I dated a girl that I spent many nights there cause I dated a girl when I first started

going out there, lived in one.

Oh God.

Call him the cell block.

Anyway, started school again this week.

4 a.m., garbage bag, donuts.

I'm taking an electronics engineering course.

I'm taking some A-plus certification courses.

I'm taking a local area network course.

So, uh...

Area network?

Are you going to be a SWAT sector?

No, man.

Local area networks, man.

I'm local.

I'm landing it up, man.

Subnet masking.

I just think he doesn't know.

See what Obama said.

Local area networks.

My brother shaved his head, man, so he can see some skin.

dollars a year. How else could he propose hundreds of billions in tax breaks for big

corporations and oil companies, but not one penny of tax relief to more than 100 million

Americans? How else could he offer a health care plan that would actually tax people's

benefits, or an education plan that would do nothing to help families pay for college,

or a plan that would privatize Social Security and gamble your retirement? It's not because

It's because John McCain doesn't care.

It's because John McCain doesn't get it.

Ha ha.

Huh?

What?

That's John McCain right there for you.

What?

He's so sick of John McCain.

Oh, man.

I see John McCain.

I hate him.

I see John McCain in symptoms.

I just want to go, huh?

Like, that's what he looks like.

What?

Yeah.

Oh, man.

Lonesome losers in the house.

I'm sure he'll be sending in numbers.

He's already sent in numbers.

Has he sent in numbers?

The houses are full of dinos.

G-Wiz.

Yeah, a lot of people here.

Zola.

A lot of people here.

That was a poor tank.

Man, we got a whole house.

Yeah, man.

And in Vegas.

I've seen the deal.

I've seen Tucker.

Hey.

A lot of them here.

Yeah, you're going big.

Hey, man.

Thank you for joining us.

Yeah, man.

Okay.

If you're out there listening, make sure you jump right into your nearest chat room.

Any .6 of mouth got a chat room.

Send me a tip.

Radio.tv's got a chat room.

and all of them with us.

Yeah, that's cool.

Anything going on that we can talk about here?

I mean, I'm waiting for some numbers to come in from Lonesome.

If you have your submissions, if you have anything you want us to prank call tonight,

please let us know.

I heard a great article today, and I'm going to try and get it recorded.

But they were talking about the most likely people in the world to commit harm.

We've got a question out there.

Here, everybody listen.

Anybody have any idea what town in what country?

Detroit, Michigan.

The person most likely to cause self-harm?

Nope.

It's not even the United States.

What do you think here?

It's a very friendly town, a favorite town of the Madhouse.

That's a clue.

Tokyo, Japan?

Nunu will probably guess it right off.

Tokyo, Japan?

Is that?

I don't know.

Nope, not San Francisco.

Nope, not Saigon.

There's that.

Nope.

Nunu, you got a guess?

Get Nunu.

Is it Orlando?

Orlando?

Where in the wanker jail is there right now?

London?

Nope.

Bangkok?

Nope.

Orlando?

Nope.

Manchester?

Ah, you got it!

Manchester, really?

Manchester.

So didn't go to me.

Well, as long as you're not harming each other.

I had an article today.

It was an audio article.

Yeah?

Yeah, on Radio Netherlands.

And these people are more likely to commit suicide or hurt themselves overdose on pills,

go crazy on alcohol in a rage, and try to kill themselves in any other place in the world.

I think that's why we get such a wonderful following in the man's justice.

As long as they keep it to themselves, that's fine.

They can do all the damage to themselves they want.

Not like in New York where they'll just kill you.

That's a new classification category there.

Man, I want to mention real quick, our podcast listeners,

or those who are listening live tonight who enjoy our podcast,

something is up.

I can't edit last week's episode.

it does not want to load in my editor

I can't do it

I'm going to ask if I see Hollywood around

I don't see him yet

but Hollywood if you're listening

or if you're going to be around later

I believe he said he would be

I might need him to edit this week's episode

last week's episode

I have a cool mp3 repair

if you need an application that might be the problem

well I can play the episode just fine

I can play it just fine

but if I load it in my mp3 editor

it just cuts off

Like about four-fifths of the way through, it cuts off and it loops all the way back to the beginning.

I don't know why he's doing it, but it's...

Yeah, you've got a bad spot somewhere in it.

If you send it to me, I could actually take it and convert it over and then convert it back to an MP3 if you want.

Well, check your email. You've got a link to it already, man.

I already sent it to you. I sent it to you on Friday.

Okay. No, I've got an email.

Yeah, it's that same one from last week.

I really don't think...

I've been asking for it.

I guess I just didn't see the email.

I have sent it.

I'll forward it to you again.

Tuck, you got that email, right?

Tuck got it.

Oh, damn it.

You know, I'm maybe seven years old.

I can't see past the end of my nose.

You got it.

Tuck got it.

Baz Kokany got it.

Lonesome Loser got a copy of it.

I'm not kidding you.

I send you all the same email.

Everyone got it.

Everyone listens to it.

The VIP list who gets to show it the next day.

Unedited, raw version.

You're one of them.

You've got to check your email.

Check your Google.

Did you get a text?

I got it.

I know he did.

We were talking about the breaks.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I collected those on the internet.

I see a text in your head, yeah.

Hollywood got it because Hollywood edited the calls and put them in the forms already, too.

All right, so here's some numbers.

Hollywood, you know, one of us is going to have them and put them all up on a torrent somewhere.

Yeah.

Maven wants to know, why don't we write show summers in the show archives?

You know, I need to start doing that.

I was talking to the Somacow guys, and they said that's a big thing to do.

You get discovered a lot easier if you put tags and summaries.

I used to do that all the time.

I used to, you know, sit there and break down the episode, but it gets, God, it's so tedious.

I really should do that, though, in the archives.

When you're doing a two-hour, three-hour show, you know, especially live and organized,

not the same, but, I mean, you know, have a living that is as hard to go and say,

Well, we did this here, and that came here, and you get a chapter in.

If you have a secretary who does what you do, it's kind of hard to do that.

If anybody wants to help out, you don't have to edit the show,

but if you can maybe give us a synopsis at the end of it, that'd be awesome.

Give me a hand, folks. I can only do so much, my brothers.

That'd be cool.

My babies, my baby sisters and brothers out there.

We get a lot of numbers coming in from Lonesome Loser.

What's up, bro? Nice to see you out there, my man, my mainstain.

We've got Fatty's Bar.

Fatty's Bar.

That'd be cool to call.

Fatty's Bar.

A Jazzy Chicken Cafe.

We've got Fred's Liquor Store.

A woman named Catherine answered there just a few moments ago.

We've got the Thunderbird Liquor Store.

What's the word, everybody?

Thunderbird.

And Jerry's Liquors and Cosby Cabins.

Cosby Cabins?

Like Bill Cosby Cabins?

Oh, hell.

Marty wants to know if you want to prank call his RA.

What's the RA?

I don't know what the RA is.

Is it the Resident Asshole?

The Resident Assisted?

The Resident Asshole.

Yeah, that guy.

That ass.

Sure, yeah.

We'll call him.

We'll call the Resident Asshole.

Send me his info.

We'll send him a pizza.

So you've already masturbated?

I'm looking here.

I know you've received an email, Mayor.

21st, 22nd.

For 95% of all working families.

Thank you.

Yeah, there we go.

With an economy like this, the last thing we should do is raise taxes on the middle class.

But they always say that.

And for the sake of our economy, our security, and the future of our planet,

I will set a clear goal as president.

In ten years, we will finally end our dependence on oil from the Middle East.

Well, good luck with that.

Heard it before.

I love oil, man.

Fuck that.

I ain't never given up oil.

They come up with a new term lately.

What's that?

and with the day that put it in my hair

petroleum overlords

you know petroleum politicians

and such but that's kind of cool

we gotta buy some petroleum like since we're

addicted to it we should call around like

we should call 7-Eleven or something and tell

them yeah you got a petroleum man

I got this addiction to petroleum

oh man

give me a brother up man

yo I need some foreign oil man

I don't want

that domestic

I'll lift the concrete underneath of your car, too.

Yo, you got any foreign oil, man?

Got any Saudi Arabian gold?

If it's on the grounds of the U.S., it ain't foreign anymore, is it?

I guess so.

All right, come on, guys.

And Fat Albert's Bar rounding out things here from Lonesome Loser.

Thank you, sir.

I'm sure that we're going to get to those pretty soon.

Hey, J&J, check it in.

Never heard of them.

I heard Lonesome Loser is, not Lonesome Loser.

I heard Jin Stewart might be making a stop in today.

That would be awesome to hear from Jin Stewart.

looking forward to

hearing from him

hopefully

yeah man

I hope he does

Jen Stewart

might be joining

us here soon

looking forward to

that

Mebo Guest

723856

asking

are you doing

a show tonight

no sir

no show tonight

sorry

instead of the

show you will

hear

what do we got

on the tap

for tonight

here Milkman

we got a

kiddie show

right now

going on

now Artie

is Mr. T

and Fairy Dust

is the winner

yay

yeah

Yeah, good.

All right, come on.

Let's do a prank call here.

We're going to call...

Who's the one that I wanted to call?

Fuck.

Fatty's Bar.

That's the one I wanted to call.

Hang on, folks.

Fatty's Bar.

First prank call of the night.

Just a moment.

The music is acting slow again.

Sorry about that, man.

It's a little bit of a delay.

And give them more support.

And in exchange, I'll ask for higher standards and more accountability.

And we will keep our promise to every young American.

If you commit to serving your community or our country, we will make sure you can afford a college education.

College is cool. You get to learn stuff and drink beer and smoke pot.

Jack Masterson in the house, baby.

Can we post a picture of your new girlfriend, Jack Masterson?

Oh, fatties. I got my marker and my mouth and everything here.

You guys have any food there?

Close it up.

Why do you leave so early?

I guess.

Close it up.

What time do you open tomorrow?

4 o'clock in the morning.

Yep, warning.

Looks like later on tonight, right?

During a recent screening, we noticed an issue regarding your account.

For your protection, please have your PIN ready and contact our CUST department at 1-800-964-8450

between the hours of 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Eastern Standard Time.

Again, that number is 1-800-964-8450.

Thank you for your understanding, and we apologize for any inconvenience.

Hi.

Talking to the guy.

Hey, I don't know what you're saying.

Did you say that or did that come from the car?

I don't know what the hell happened.

They detected what?

A problem with my recent phone card?

God, that's annoying.

Talk about your recent screening or something like that.

Oh, God.

I got such a headache.

Dylan is screening you.

Many of these plans will cost money,

which is why I've laid out how I'll pay for every dime.

We're going to take out a loan.

That don't help America grow.

Let's do it alone.

But I will also go through the federal budget line by line,

eliminating programs that no longer work

and making the ones we do need

work better and cost less

because we cannot meet 21st century

challenges with a 20th century

bureaucracy.

My guy's got all the fucking answers

doesn't he?

I got some new confirmed numbers coming to you

right now in the G-Talk.

Saigon says maybe someone

reported it for being pranked. I don't know.

Maybe. That would suck.

Neo is sending in numbers.

He's never known.

Thanks, Ne-Yo.

Fat Albert's Restaurant coming in here as well from Lonesome Loser.

We also have Fat Albert's South and Grand Forks N-D.

What's that?

Nevada?

No.

North Dakota.

Yeah.

What's better, North Dakota or South Dakota?

What would you recommend I go to?

If I had a choice, North Dakota.

Huh?

North Dakota.

North Dakota?

North Dakota.

Yeah.

I'm going to open up East Dakota one day.

They should make an East Dakota.

That's not that funny, Milkman.

Come on, man.

No mercy like that.

Yeah, that's a good one, man.

They're wondering why I had shit in my mouth.

Yeah, that's why.

Jack Masterson, you know, doing the whole thing.

Jack Masterson, that's shit

Anyway, okay

Let's go ahead and call Thunderbird Liquor here, everybody

Thank you, sir

Thunderbird Liquor is in Glendale, Arizona

Glendale, Arizona

Who's from Glendale, Arizona?

John McCain's from Glendale, Arizona, isn't he?

Not me

Arizona, isn't that McCain's hometown?

I don't know

I have no idea

I think so

I know it's Arizona

I'm from Arizona, but I thought it was like the old, like, old shit.

There's a lot of old folks out there.

I think that's where he lives.

Isn't he the senator from Glendale, Arizona?

Arizona?

Senator?

I think he is.

Pretty sure.

Anyway, evil artist goes out.

I think Obama's wrapping things up.

That's beautiful.

Good.

Get off and get my listeners back.

Here we go.

Thunderbird coming right up.

Thunderbird liquor.

Thunderbird liquor store.

It's the word, man.

What's a good word?

How you doing?

Who is this?

This is Masterson.

How are you, sir?

I mean, what, we can't make a little bit of small talk at the beginning of our transaction?

I mean, what's the word, buddy?

What's the word?

What's up?

What's the word?

For the recent screening, we noticed an issue regarding your account.

For your protection, please have your PIN ready and contact our customer service department.

Shut up!

Seriously, what's the PIN?

Oh, man, who wants to screen me?

Shut the fuck up.

Who the fuck is it that you're...

You're my penis.

This sucks because whenever it does that, I can't actually just click over and do the next call.

I'm forced to dial these.

I'm going to call them back because it's going to take longer to do this shit.

That was a bad prank call on my end.

I knew that wasn't going to work out.

Why would I do that?

For your protection, please have your PIN ready and contact our customer service department at 1-800-964-

The card is dead.

The fucking card's dead.

Can you believe that?

Did you hear that?

It won't even let me call out now.

They drained the fucking account.

Let me see.

Oh, man.

Maven says, watch out, they might trace me.

I don't know. This sucks.

Let's try this again.

Get their clothes, though. It's too late.

It's like 11 o'clock.

I think I did talk to them this late once, though, in the past.

This will be customer service for this phone card.

For the card, yeah. For the card.

I guess that ain't gonna work. That sucks.

Okay, well, pfft. Bullshit.

All right, well, let's continue on.

Let's try to make something out of this.

Let me try to use it one more time here.

Lonesome says he's got a couple cards he might send him in.

Look at, yeah, look at him.

That's what Maven's saying.

What's his saying?

That's that card.

To suck my dick, press five.

Like her office.

Love it.

We're calling Jerry's Lickers.

He's getting naked again.

He's ready to do a sumo dance.

That's his UFC gym shorts on.

That's whatever he did.

Hello? I'm just wondering, what's a good word?

You know, Thunderbird.

Remember that one?

Sir?

Oh, you guys got kegs?

You fucking shit.

You fucking...

God damn it.

God.

Fuck you.

Shut up.

I'm so frustrated.

Bounce to those assholes.

Fuck yeah.

God damn.

I don't know what the hell's going on.

Anyway, Cosby Cabins.

In Cosby, Tennessee.

That's what they call it, Cosby.

because it's in Cosby, Tennessee.

Let's call it that.

Now we're using a sleuth card?

Wow.

Oh, Christ.

Now Artie's wanking off.

Jesus.

This is bad.

Dude, Artie, stop that.

That's got to be the worst smelling desk chair in Orlando.

Worst than mine.

Is Artie, people, Artie in Orlando?

Come hang out.

No.

He'll make my desk chair smell bad.

Sure he could.

Reservation, please.

Do you have anything for this weekend, or is it too late?

Did I procrastinate, as they say?

Oh, good.

Can you tell me a little more about the spaciousness of them?

What kind of M&M's do you have?

During a recent screening, we noticed an issue regarding your account.

What the fuck?

For your protection.

He just cut me off in the middle of a call.

She didn't hang up.

She's going to explain.

I thought you had it.

Yeah.

No, she didn't hang up.

I thought you had a different card.

Right in the middle of me getting the M&M's.

Is that a splooge card?

Yes, it's a spoof card.

What the fuck was that?

God damn it.

I don't know what we're going to have to do.

I thought you used a different card that time.

You used a completely different card.

I'll get you one this week.

Yeah, please.

I'll get you one.

Someone get me one.

If anybody wants to go to spoofcard.com and get me one,

I would highly appreciate it because this show is going to suck

because something's wrong with that other card.

In the meantime, Lonesome Lucha got one.

After the show,

after the show,

meet me in the Madhouse boardroom

and we'll discuss it

and I'll get a purchase arranged

for a new one, okay?

Yeah.

If anybody can help us out

with a fill-in card in the meantime,

please.

We're accepting your donation

and we will highly esteem you

at that time, too.

We're okay.

We've got a Lonesome Loser Center

in another card.

I don't think it's a spoof card,

but we can probably use it.

Yes, that's right.

Is that my telephone?

Call them tomorrow, their customer service line tomorrow, record it, and just complain that they're screwing up your comedy.

Yeah, they're interrupting comedy and brilliance.

They're screwing up your provisional comedy.

You do a show, and you're paying good money for that card, and they are screwing up, and they are losing customers.

They are.

I've been using it for over a year

I go through a $5 card

Once a night

For the guy the last

52 weeks

Let's say times 5

That's like $250

How many weeks are a year?

I want to see how they respond to that

I don't know

That's almost

I think it's 3

I could buy a Playstation 2 with that money

Or 3 or something

I don't know

Yeah, record that call on the form of a complaint.

But it is the phone card company that's giving me the error.

It's not the phone company.

It's the phone card company.

Not my fault.

Preheat that oven.

That's what I'm talking about.

Whoever it is that you've got to call.

Okay, guys, come on.

Let's move on here.

We've got another card here from Lonesome Loser.

It's not a spoof card, I don't think, but it's a card nonetheless.

We think we do.

Yeah.

All right, let's get some pranks out of the way here.

I'm really, my brain's really...

We're gonna show a new pin number. We'll buy a new card, a new pin number, and they'll give us another year of anonymity.

Yeah, we'll see about that. I bet they will. They don't give a shit about me.

Maybe it was like Zolar or something. Like, oh, Mr. Zolar, yeah. Wish I was Zolar.

Yeah, definitely like Zolar.

Yeah, that's a nice guy.

Screaming you. You, you.

Is that just, am I the only one hearing an echo?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ladies and gentlemen.

No, no, no, no, no.

There's no echo, echo, echo.

Hello, hello.

We're not talking about that.

Who's that?

Try it again, folks.

Thank you for your patience in this less than stellar show tonight.

Losing a limb.

The good neighbors take a stranger in when a hurricane strikes and the floodwaters rise.

You know, three of ours has more wealth than any nation, but that's not what makes us rich.

We have the most powerful military on earth, but that's not what makes us strong.

Our universities and our culture are the envy of the world, but that's not what keeps the world coming to our shores.

Instead, it is that American spirit, that American promise, that pushes us forward, even when the path is uncertain.

Now there's network difficulties.

Now there's network difficulties. Great.

All right, well, we're going to call Brenda Higgins.

She's in England. Maybe the international card works.

Let's try that. Here it is.

This one came from Kokanee last week. Thanks, brother, man.

He's sending some numbers for us to do, too.

Travel West, a promise that led workers to picket lines and women to reach for the belt.

And it is that promise, 45 years ago today,

that Americans from every corner of this land

to stand together on a mall in Washington

before Lincoln's memorial

and hear a young preacher from Georgia speak of his dream.

116 minutes remaining for this call.

Thank you for using the 7-Eleven call home network.

Things are cool. All the kids are doing it.

Hi, good morning, Brenda. How are you?

Good, thanks.

This is a friend, this is Harry Brew, calling from the Citizens Auxiliary Change Department.

I'm wondering if you're ready for change. Are you ready to support change?

No change from her? What time is it in the UK right now?

3.52 a.m.

You have 9.22 cents remaining.

Please enter the telephone number you wish to dial now.

You have 115 minutes remaining for this call.

Thank you for using the 7-Eleven Call Home Network.

She's going to change whether or not she wants it.

Oh, boy.

Like on TV.

Took it off the line.

You fucking bitch.

Obama's done, looks like.

Yeah, he is.

Get the beat off there, bro.

Yeah, Obama's done.

Yeah.

Sonny DJ, you guys broadcasting in stereo now?

I'm not sure.

Do we broadcast in stereo now or not?

I don't know.

I got a weird number coming in here.

Hello?

Hey, who's this?

Hang on.

Call back in like two minutes, all right?

All right.

I forgot to turn on the, what's that called?

all the call forwarding so we could

get the, uh, what do you call it?

The toll-free line's not ringing to the right number.

Yeah, it went right to the cell phone. Sorry, dude.

Give me a second here. That's kind of

a prank. You know what? Oh, damn it.

You know who just called? Crazy fucker. I don't know if you guys

caught on last week's Zolar show.

Crazy fucker called me back out of nowhere.

Finally, the crazy guy.

Yeah, that was funny. Called me, and

I put him through me. Zolar and him talked

together. Yes, Milkman.

What is up? Yes, Milkman.

May you check your G-Talk for me, please?

And I'm very excited to hear about Crazy Fucker.

Carlito, please check your G-Talk.

Holy fucking God.

For the love of God, I better, because, God, Milkman's going to be like,

Hey, hey, man, you're not checking your G-Talk.

All right, let's see, Milkman.

What's going on here in the G-Talk?

Can we do Neal calls next?

Sure we can.

All right, Neal sent in numbers here.

Little Evil Neal, that is.

Kyan, go ahead and call in if you get a chance.

Little Evil Neal sent in a number for Cal.

He's Hawaiian and racist against his own people.

I met him while at the cartoon convention that I went back in May.

What kind of cartoons are those?

I don't know.

Like an anime convention?

She's, uh, she's in school for anime design.

She's actually in school for that.

Is it Neo?

Yeah, she is.

She's in school for that.

Hey, man, so what were you saying?

You had an admission to make?

Yes, um...

Oh, yeah?

Our relationship, or what is that?

Do you remember that time where I called Brian?

And we call in and start bitching at him about how his friend Bill...

And then he hangs up, we back, and I go into my girl voice.

I'm like that again.

When was this?

This is on my show.

Oh, yeah.

I do a little right now.

Okay, well, I actually don't know where it is.

I think it's...

I didn't say there it is.

Like everything or...

But I'm thinking...

Take the other route now.

It's mp3.com slash kyanpranks, all one word.

Yep, right now.

I'm in a bird's nest right now.

What about it?

I'm in a bird's nest.

He likes anal flags.

There's all these fireworks and fucking butane, propane tanks all over the place.

Look at that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is at the Democratic National Convention.

That's the one.

Very good, Kyan.

Oh.

Cyan, Kyan, whatever your name is, sir, you get a gold star.

Yeah.

Look what Michelle Obama said yesterday.

She said, don't pinch people in the country that is big.

What's wrong with this, Kyan?

What are we doing?

We're going to do a pro some racist guy in Hawaii.

Why does this guy have a spurt with 32 minutes on it?

Damn it.

No, man, I guess you lost it.

Thanks, lonesome.

Lonesome, thanks, man.

That helps out.

The Mega Man mark says you're a homo, Kyle.

We'll plan for this again.

Here's the deal.

The guy's name is...

I'm going to copy-paste you.

Are you in the IRC?

Where are you at right now, sir?

Paste it to me in the IRC.

I am awaiting your send.

What is your name again?

Kyanne.

There we go.

Yeah, I changed it.

That's not the right one.

Shit.

Everybody, I want to apologize for the lackluster show.

I'm going to explain why this show tonight has kind of sucked

when we're done with Kyan.

I don't want Kyan to be in a line for what I'm going to admit to.

Okay, so this guy's name is Cal.

He's Hawaiian and racist against his own people.

And Neo met him at a cartoon convention.

Neo, what was the cartoon convention, sweetheart?

What was it?

She doesn't like it when I call her that.

But what was it exactly?

What was it?

Cartoon Con?

Toon Con?

Okay.

Mikey's asking, what do I broadcast in before the encoding?

In Winamp.

Play in Winamp, and it goes out, and it goes out in the Winamp encoder for Shoutcast.

And we're broadcasting.

It is.

I've been using Winamp for, like, more than ten years now.

All right.

Don't go anywhere, Kyan.

Everybody, here's a prank call for you.

Hopefully this will go better than the rest of the stuff we've done here tonight.

The rest of the stuff that I've done recently.

No problem, man.

We all suck.

Don't worry about it.

look at me tonight right there you're better than me thanks man you're a good friend i don't mean

that in a romantic way you stick fuck okay you know are you can we just hawaiian people no

that's a good woman voice you hear though hello is this a turkish restaurant yes sir okay my

wife's upset because of the i guess you put something in the food that she doesn't agree

agree with and she's threatening to hit me with a bat unless you fix this because i screwed up

three times in a row i screwed some kind of some lamb stuff that you guys have over there

when did it happen sir earlier tonight she's threatening to hit me with a bat the judge said

you can't be hitting me baby couldn't you put in this lamb i don't have any customers tonight

which i served lamb after three o'clock well it was like i got it for lunch put it in the car and

I left it in the car, and she ate it, and she got sick.

Okay.

We ate it tonight.

I wasn't here.

If you come in tomorrow, okay, talk to the manager.

What is your problem?

I mean, what's the concern about the food?

If you tell him.

You're not, look, you're not.

Hang on, hang on.

She's really, I don't know if you're essentially upset.

How is it possible if I'm.

We are not illegal immigrants, ma'am.

I know, we're not illegal.

You're making discrimination right now to us.

We are not illegal immigrants.

I don't know what happened to food. I wasn't here and I'm...

I'll tell you what happened. I kept it warm inside the car.

I bought the food this afternoon.

I did it in the car about 8 o'clock at night. It was nice and hot.

The next thing I know, she got sick when she ate the food.

Okay, maybe so. I don't know. I'm not a food bird.

Like, how long you can keep it or stuff.

Maybe you shouldn't keep it that long outside. It's not good for food.

Maybe you should have put it in the refrigerator.

No.

I don't know.

I don't know why she's asking that.

Why are you asking that?

Why is she asking that?

What does it have to do with my personal life?

Because she's a slut.

She's always cheating on me.

Okay, so can you give me your phone number and name?

And I'll send my manager.

You can send him where?

To my house?

You're not sending a new man to my house.

For what?

I'm sorry?

Where are you going to send the manager?

To my house to do what?

To hurt me?

No.

People are going to hurt us.

You see what you did?

Now the manager is going to...

Please don't send him over here to hurt us, okay?

We were just...

Sir, I didn't tell you that I'm going to send my manager over there to hurt you.

I told you if you give your phone number, or what's the problem exactly,

I can tell him, or if you want, you can come by and talk to him.

Just relax.

Now, you tell him, you tell the manager, the problem is we bought the lamb.

I bought it in the car for about five or six hours in the heat.

Okay.

And she got sick after she ate it, but I said, because when it gets under an oven,

it's like I kept it in the microwave, unless you have a lamb, and we never had a problem.

I didn't hear any problem.

We eat here, too, but I don't know what is wrong with that lamb.

You know what I mean?

Well, you don't know, because we serve, like, we are serving lamb here right now,

and I don't know any, I don't have any problem, so.

I saw on the TV that there was this Turkish restaurant that was buying the lamb after it was bad.

And they were washing it with like a chlorine solution to make it not smell bad again.

Okay, we are buying our lamb from Haji Baba, like a wholesale lamb.

So we don't have any problems since right now.

Is it halal?

We should check with them.

Is it halal meat?

Is it halal meat? I don't know that.

Oh, my God.

We only...

Her vagina's bleeding.

You want to come over here, talk to the manager.

You can come by tomorrow.

Well, he's going to hurt me.

He's got your testicles, so never...

Is he a bad man?

Is he mean?

That was fun.

You're really good at that voice, man.

Oh, I had people yelling at me across the house.

It's like there's a damn psychotic in your bedroom.

Sounds like it.

Wow.

You could have fun with yourself with that voice there, man.

That's kind of hot.

I might call you...

I might call you in a few nights, have you talk me off.

You know what we should do?

Call another number

And I'll be at

I'm gonna move on

I gotta say thank you

For calling Kyan

Kyan Pepper

Thank you so much

It was an honor

Talking to you

Perhaps we will call

Upon your services

And we'll answer

Probably tonight

That was a little bad

Because the last prank call

Did you say you had a plug

Or something you wanted

To get out there

Not gonna get in

Cause I don't

I'm not

That's not how

Take care of yourself

Alright man

Here we go

Top of the morning

Don't say I'm not a

Purveyor of plugs

What's wrong with plugs

he's freaking me out

where's Hollywood Vagina at

speaking of vaginas

you know what I mean

where's that kid at

look at camera number 3

wow

look at that

what's up white girl

who's that white girl

over there in camera number 3

look at her

she's white

white

literally white

look at that

she's a little mature though

she's about your age

right there Milkman

there you go

camera number 3

what's going on

alright that's it

for camera number 3

camera number 2

not too bad

not too bad camera number four yeah what can i say camera number one you can just go ahead and

turn that one off now oh come on be nice to kyan well so what's kind of wait kyan has a showdown

kyan i love his little thing he's got a little rainbow going across like the bottom there was

myspace is he that he's like oh my god kyan you cracked me up he looks he looks like an overrate

Clay Aiken.

All right, well, we had fun with that.

So, good.

I want to thank Lonesome Loser for sending in a good working spoof card here for us to use for tonight.

Things are turning around a little bit.

That's right.

How's the radio?

It's time to start hitting.

What is this card?

Crazy fucker, what's up?

I heard you.

I heard my crack.

I heard my crack, sir.

I've got to grab some Zephyr Hills here real quick.

I'm sorry.

I've got to call each other.

Brother Rush Limbaugh, the right-wing wad.

He's a junkie.

It's like what you're on is like fucking...

It's true. It is, actually.

Hey, man, why do you support...

Why do you not support? Who do you support?

Who would you vote for if you could?

Because I know you can't.

None of them are motherfuckers. Not one of them, man.

Don't you understand, dude, that it's like you're going to the race.

People own all the horses.

Yeah, the Democrats and the Republicans is like voting between shittier and shittier.

Yeah, I hear that.

Yeah, we're all living under a state of somnolism.

Zombies were totally manipulated by fear and are not my enemies.

There's no way they could pay me any amount of money.

I'm so ashamed right now of being a citizen in Afghanistan.

Would you at least support that after what those people did to us in 9-11?

Or do you think that was the United States of America?

Afghanistan, but let's say the Taliban.

True.

Russians.

He was the man of the year ever.

Yes, he actually was.

He was a man of the year.

I don't think they named him mayor.

The biggest constructioner people out there.

And they helped fund Arbusto, wasn't that?

Bush's first business venture.

Yeah, something like that.

Yeah, it was Arbusto or something.

So you wouldn't vote for Barack Obama or McCain?

I will not vote for have a chance is he doesn't even know Ron Paul

Senator he's he's his whole record and his whole political career has been on nothing

U.S. can follow anything about Dennis Kucinich how do you feel about him well I don't know

anything much about him Carlito but I'll tell you this man hurry and build the George Bush's

in heaven for many many years man I think was Clinton a skull and bone I don't think he was

Yeah, yeah, yeah, he was, yeah, yeah, and they all went to the Bohemian Grove, they all went to the Bohemian, you ever heard of the Bohemian Grove?

In northern California, it's right, it's about eight, uh, fifteen miles, uh, west of, uh, and it's every July, the richest people on earth gather and worship at Stone's, telling you this,

The psychopaths and the criminals right now have guns.

CIA.

Psycho.

1830s.

And these motherfuckers are destroying America right now as we speak.

Are you sure of that?

I really don't think Clinton was a bonesman.

I know John Kerry was and the Bushes have been.

I don't know.

Are you sure about that?

Let me see who is a bonesman here.

John Kerry.

A bunch of people I don't know.

Co-founder of the Bushes.

Well, I'll tell you this.

All they do is gee wally.

They jack you off.

You know who's running this country, dude?

It's like on the planet.

You want to know where it stems from?

It's all in this world.

Right now, they want you young American people.

Crazy fucker.

I think we're going to end up...

If not Iran, you know where the next place I think we'd end up going into is Colombia.

I could really see the United States ending up in a military intervention in Colombia.

No kidding.

For what reason?

Under anti-terrorist reasons, technically, to fight the FARC.

but really probably just, you know, probably some kind of embroiled cocaine pro anti-Venezuelan kind of thing, you know what I mean?

Dude, dude, right now, fuck you guys who go up like what he says.

He says, government brings in, turn this off, man, they're doing water.

Fluoridation of water, just like in Dr. Strangelove, have you seen that movie before?

Yeah, yeah, man, that's right.

Yeah, all right, well, that's a lot of people.

But I'm not going to go crazy.

I'm not crazy like him and says that, you know,

your precious bodily fluids, you know.

It's like, I'm just talking about, I'm just talking about,

did you ever see the original movie, Time Machine?

The original one, yes.

I saw the original version of it, yeah.

Okay.

Where they found the brain sirens would come up and they go.

Right.

That's how they're doing it.

Right now they're under FEMA, Emergency Management Agency.

and all these filthy fucking sites.

These dirty motherfuckers in my generation.

You have me.

Everybody who's just tuning in now

or maybe just a newer listener to our show,

this is Crazy Fucker from California

joining us from missing for a long time.

You can see some of his stuff on our website.

Crazy Fucker, where were you for the last year and a half or so?

For those who might not listen to Zolar's show on Friday,

can you maybe let us know where you've been, brother?

Your little son coming back here?

I'll run it down to you in a short, in a short abridged version.

I haven't got adventures.

I fucking, this conversation with me, I'd like to no longer afford gas.

I could no longer afford gasoline.

And so I fucking sold my motor home.

But I was not in prison, and I was not in the net house.

Okay, good.

A lot of people were wondering about that.

And you've spent, I'm sorry, go ahead.

I don't mean to interrupt you.

I was not.

Ah, dude, the only reason I never even was able to contact you is because I was living in really remote, really remote areas.

You know, you could get a satellite where you couldn't even signal.

So what I, it pissed me off and bad, I carry a video.

Why'd you get pissed off? Was it vacations?

Well, no, sir, the guy, he's part of, he's up there with the Obama and the Boons and the McCains.

He's a rich man, don't you understand that?

He's a multi-fucking millionaire rich man.

And he used to say on his show,

Oh, you're like a...

Japan is a strictly defensive force now,

and you don't support that.

No, Spanish.

The Japanese have un-ended themselves,

and it's all...

It's one time on this fucking...

True.

The top 5% own 95% of the wealth

or something like that.

Isn't that what they say?

That's right, man.

That's right.

They're trying in the little...

say you can't stand that right it's suspended it's been some stupid uh let me know no there's

only one thing that's kept me alive sorry dude and that's the side my i went into my mind and

my consciousness and i've looked for the truth and i've tried on the planet earth only three

fucking things that are actually real on the planet earth the way that uh designer hated the

earth and you know what the piece what's the other one joy all sentient beings on planet earth right

That's right, man, and it's up to every single individual.

It's a single individual's own minds and their own heart.

And then say, a great philosopher years ago, do unto others as you would have others do unto you.

Crazy fucker, you've spent time with Suge Knight also, right?

And Quentin, is that correct?

Well, no, actually, Suge Knight, the founder of Dan Quentin, yeah.

Yeah.

And you spoke with the guy?

You said he was a pretty cool dude, right?

Or did you...

Well, every fucking night, every fucking day, the Lord went all he did shit.

But I did seven fucking years, fucking night in San Quentin, dude.

Framed up in Putin, dude.

Framed up in prison for the same kind of shit that I'm speaking now.

I'm not saying anything about anybody locally.

Now, if I came and said this, man, it's so fucking easy to go to prison.

I tell you young people out there, do this.

It's like if you party at home, not drink and drive,

do not ever let your fucking alcohol rage you're doing ever get you to somebody else.

If you ever feel yourself hate anybody, lay down, man.

They're out there, dude, edges and guns, dude.

And they're out there and they're turning and calling you a slave colony.

consider myself like you i consider you know why you know what the fucking thing i did dude

when i got my computer connection back was i tuned into you and zoe like a fucking religion

because i'll tell you what dude you guys prank people but in the big obama

dude but they're making money off of you i'm race yes operation northwoods and uh right

The Gulf of Tonkin, that stuff.

What's the boat they blew up in?

Oh, Jesus.

Start the Spanish-American War.

False flag.

I forgot the name of it.

And then Mossad, of course.

One of the biggest perpetrators in the world, the Israeli Mossad,

who's through deception, you know, all this deception.

The Mossad.

That's why, you know, man, they killed me, man.

They're an LKM to tell others.

You know why?

I don't know why.

religious fucking religious because you know why instead of going out nine percent they all

well and then the german nazis german nazis them as a scapegoat scape and it's like uh

okay so actually in germany we're we're german they were german and they could not fucking

believe says no man germany's up and they could themselves just like every day you people who

believe this oh it's like that song we didn't start the fire man it's always been burning

As the world's been turning

But

I'll tell you

I'll tell you this

So I'll tell you one thing

Yeah

Yes

Gasoline

Fucking can try

Do you know what dude

We have

It's the biggest

The Americans

Say oh there's some monopoly

No monopolies

And look at the gas industry

Look at the fuel industry

That's the biggest

It is a monopoly

Dude

They've all merged

Of course

There's no free

Take your

This sale

I'm part of it

Right

I create something

And sell it

But dude

Believe me man

There's places in fucking Alaska, man, that's got as much oil as Saudi Arabia.

Yeah, yeah, the price of it is insane.

It doesn't make sense.

It's not fair.

No, it doesn't.

They agreed in ignorance.

Battle got out during three and a half in Iraq.

America could...

Here we are now.

And here it's saying...

Don't disappear again.

Make your weekly appearances, you know.

And I'll tell you what, you were missed, but it's always, you know, it's good that you're back.

And please don't ever hesitate to ever call in

We'll give you

This microphone is always a mouthpiece for you

To share a little bit of your insight

Whether or not everybody wants to agree with it

We respect you as an elder

Not to say that you're old

But you are an elder

And I think that we should all respect our elders

And there is a lot of truth that comes to you

My good man

What my brother might do

Is investigate in your own mind

The motives

Why

can't we, why can't we, you might get older, it might be a woman, you never know.

Isn't everything a fucking illusion?

That might be a, like a, that might be like a 79-year-old woman out there doing that shit.

Or her master died for all we know, you know.

Alright, crazy fucker, man, you take care of yourself.

He always just hangs up.

I can never just say goodbye to crazy fucker.

He's always like, alright, he just hangs up.

Goddamn crazy fucker, man, that was good talking to him.

Jesus.

It's good to have him back.

There's some sanity crazy fucker coming back for the important elections

They're like the little blowfish

I'd like to share a song I wrote with you

Okay, good

If you like rap

You ought to sit on my lap

I get ready to take a crap

Cause every time I sit on crap

My butthole turns into a rapper

Think, Brant

PCU Radio

PCU Radio?

The fuck is PCU Radio?

Thanks, Earthog, that was my answer

I heard that in the 80s, man

Earthog production

That's a whole classic here

I've got to take my hat off

It's getting a little warm in here

The old black and white days

The old black and white radio days

Black and white prank call radio

Yeah

You start to color

Your internet radio there

And it'll be just like the old

Yeah

Crystals and static

That's right

Yes folks

If you're not tuning in

This is a prank call radio show

We're just taking it a little easy tonight.

This is Madhouse Radio.

I am Carlito, your host.

We're here with, who else is here?

Milkman's here tonight.

Baz is checking in.

Brandon Vegas in the house as well.

Hey, what's happening, bro?

Yeah, man.

Big Tug is in the house as well.

What's up, gentlemen?

How y'all doing?

Round the horn.

Yeah, yes, we're doing.

Say your name.

Call the line.

Believe me, sugar diddle.

Doing good on the numbers tonight.

We're maxing out 100 on our extended radio network.

We have around 18 people listening on 98.6 The Mouth.

We also have, in the 80s, Hovering in Soul.

Let me see here.

Well, it's down to 76 now.

Over on SynecdocheRadio.tv, over on the NowLive station.

What's up, gentlemen?

And we have another, we've got another 22 people checking in,

watching and listening over on Justin.tv.

So thank you, everybody, who is checking us out tonight.

Be sure to visit the home site at MadHouseLive.com.

And while you're at it, please visit SynecdocheRadio.tv.

Later on tonight, if you're watching on Syndicate, when we do wrap things up here eventually, pretty soon here, not pretty soon, but pretty soon, Psychic Chuck, the man himself, will be holding his conference as well, holding his quarters here. Be sure to stay tuned to that.

That ZOLAR will be on tomorrow, 9 p.m. Eastern Standard Time.

ZOLAR Party Nation.

Be sure to check that out.

We've got shows all up the wazoo here on SyndicateRadio.tv.

Please don't go anywhere.

Be sure to bookmark those sites.

They'll be given out later on tonight as well.

ZOLAR's Party Nation.

In the meantime, we do have a lot more numbers here.

Now, in the meantime, Loser and Loser did send in some numbers for Fat Sniper Weight Loss Supplements.

A guy named Dennis answered over there.

The Fat Sniper.

I get it.

We've got Egyptian Italian food as well in Dallas, Texas,

home of the Assassination and the Magic Bullet.

Since we were just on a conspiracy kick there with Crazy Tucker.

We've got a couple more of those numbers from the year still, bro.

Yeah, we do.

That's true.

We've got Fat Albertsons here to call.

We've also got Mary Bond, Nicola Bond, Leslie Middleton, and Maude Middleton.

Those are all in England, in the West Midlands.

I don't know much about West Midlands, England,

but we'll see what's up with those people over there.

That's cool.

I have some friends up in Derby.

Yeah, cool.

I did want to make note here,

any Comcast subscribers,

they are the largest internet and cable television provider

in the United States of America.

I am a Comcast subscriber.

Comcastic just came out today,

official from Comcast,

and this kind of affects me.

I'm a little concerned of this

because I do run my station out of here,

and this may cause me to go over the limit.

On October 1st, Comcast has announced, starting on 10-1,

they will update their user agreement to say that users are only going to be allowed

up to 250 gigabytes of traffic per month.

If you reach 250 gigs per month, you will be cut off

and also it is possible that you will be charged $15 for every 10 gigabytes you go over.

I don't know if that's just for uploads and downloads or what it is

or if it's a combination of the two.

But again, earlier today, Comcast Corporation announcing

they're capping their internet usage, is no longer boundless.

250 gigs of traffic per month is the new limit from Comcast

and I would expect that Time Warner and AT&T and the like will all follow suit.

So much for net neutrality

That is fucking bullshit

Dude, that is such fucking bullshit

That pisses me off

This is the biggest bunch of bullshit

When bandwidth prices are coming down lower

Than they've ever fucking done

These guys are just fucking trying to grab the money

And get everything they can

And gouge it while they can

Fucking prick

Comcast Associates

That's right

A Comcast spokesman said,

We've listened to feedback from our customers who asked that we provide a specific threshold for data usage.

Who the fuck did that? Come on, bullshit.

They talk to, oh, yeah, we got feedback, bullshit.

Yeah, oh, I'm sure tons of users out there, oh, yeah, I wish you would hold back,

make sure we can't download too much.

Specific threshold for data usage, this would help them understand the amount of usage

that will qualify as excessive.

Customers who go over the limit are contacted by the company and asked to curb their usage.

Comcast floated the idea of a 250 gig cap in May,

mentioned that it might charge users $15 for every 10 gigs they go over.

The overage fee was missing in Thursday's announcement, so it's not known if that's going to be the deal.

They also say very few subscribers use more than 250 gigabytes.

A user could download 125 standard definition movies about four per day before hitting the limit.

The cap is also above those of some other ISPs.

Cox Communications' monthly caps vary from 5 to 75 gigs.

Time Warner is testing caps between 5 and 40 gigs in one market.

it frontier uh communications plans to start charging extra for use of more than five gigabytes

per month also coming out comcast has is also rumoring apparently rumored here users who exceed

the 250 gigabyte cap twice will face service termination so that's that's fucking brilliant

thank you thank you comcast leaders of customer service god damn it that's bullshit that is

his fucking ass that is good republicans need to deregulate the world thank you yeah the

corporations can charge you any fucking thing they want and those who brought you the five

dollar gallon of gas wait till you see what these motherfuckers have got lying now you better

fucking god they put a democrat in there yeah someone's saying hey man i just want to let you

know our multiplex and prince george were taking advertisements for big screen replay screen and

and signs to help them out with their technical shit.

I told them if I could put up an advertisement for Madhouse Radio.

So when hockey season starts, I'll take a picture of the advertisement on the screen.

So hopefully we'll have more listeners from PG and Canadian viewers watching it on TV.

What? Wait a minute.

We're taking advertisements for their big screen.

We're going to be advertised in a multiplex in Prince George Camp.

Well, hell yeah. Look at that, man. Madhouse Radio moving up.

re-advertisement.

What?

Whoa!

Yeah,

Steven.

God damn.

My mom makes

the big screen.

Wow,

dude,

yeah,

I would love

to see a picture

of a madhouse.

My fist will be

big and pretty

on the big screen.

The big green

capture,

please,

please.

Tuck's knuckly

fist will be

all over the

big screens.

That's right.

Baz,

oh,

that's right.

Baz has reminded me

he also sent in

a number for

a UFO reporting

hotline,

24 hour,

manned.

I've got that

an email here somewhere. Let me go ahead and pull that up

here as well. We're going to take a break here real quick.

Thanks to everybody who's listening and watching tonight.

We're going to be back in about five minutes.

As I said before a thousand times, this is Madhouse

Radio. Be sure to send in your parent call

requests if you have any.

Yeah, my legs

are falling asleep here.

In the meantime, you can send in your

requests over at the

AOL Yahoo Instant Messenger, Madhouse Radio

and MSN Messenger, Madhouse.live.com.

You can also call in toll

free anywhere in the United States and Canada.

That number is 1-888-278-8509.

So coming up right after the break, more numbers.

We're going to be calling the U.K.

The UFO reporting hotline.

Kokanee has sent in again the number for a pastor who got into a motorcycle crash inside the church.

We'll talk about that when we come back here.

We've got his number.

That was in Tipton, Indiana, about 12 to 15 miles southwest of the church.

Excuse me.

We've got the number for the gentleman.

His name is Jeffrey Harlow.

Hello, Carlito.

Yes, sir.

The Dead has his number

Get the number from The Dead

The Dead

Send in the number for

I mean

Yeah The Dead

If you're out there

Send us a number for Frank Master

Maybe we'll call him

Whatever happened to Raunch Fox

What happened to the whole

Raunch Fox thing

Remember that

Didn't he

Exactly

Thank you

Never mind

We'll be back in about

Five minutes folks

Thanks for listening

We're going to go get a sandwich

That's the one

Ryan terminate the call please

five seconds i'm back right after this

hey everybody madhouse radio back ready to shut it down you guys are from mute

milkman tuck brandon vegas and baz all checking in studio here

down with the kids

we got prank master's phone number here good deal thanks man i am eating oh i wanted to say

real quick athena found these at my favorite grocery store publics they you know i've said

there are several things that i miss being a diabetic finally one one of the things that's

It's on my list, and I've been waiting for the day that it becomes sugar-free.

I found it.

Sugar-free Oreos, everybody.

Look at that right there.

I didn't weep, white people.

Sugar-free Oreos, yes, they do exist.

I'm so happy.

I can eat Oreos again.

What does that mean?

That was racist.

So much change, Carlito.

White people don't like sugar-free food.

Just as fat Puerto Ricans are diabetic.

So what's left is still on my list.

Still on my list.

I'm still waiting for white people to invent sugar-free Pop-Tarts

and sugar-free glazed donuts.

Sugar-free bacon on camera three.

Yeah, there you go.

Okay.

So, yeah, I'm still waiting for my sugar-free Pop-Tart.

One day it will come out.

But, yes, there is hope.

MSC through Clay, being diabetic.

You know what, man, Clay?

I'm going to tell you what.

The last sugary drink I had, I made it a point.

Had a nice tall glass.

I miss regular classic Coke, man.

Sometimes, there's something about it.

It's just right.

There's something right in the world, you know.

There's sugar-free Pop-Tarts, Stephen?

Where?

You tell me where.

I'm going there now to buy it.

And if they're not here, someone needs to send them to me.

Because I'm dying for sugar.

Dude, I lived off of Pop-Tarts when I was in high school.

Every morning, that's what I used to eat.

That was my breakfast, every morning.

Grab a Pop-Tart.

Pop-Tarts are great.

Great, especially for the hurricanes.

Whenever the hurricanes came, I would buy them.

One of the things I used to buy.

Remember Danish go-rounds?

Back in school, we called them pop.

That's not funny.

Do you remember what now, Baz?

What was that?

No, that's what they give you, pop farts.

A long time ago, back in the 70s, Kellogg's put out a product called Danish go-rounds.

They're like Pop-Tarts, but they're Danish.

Those were good.

I don't remember those at all.

Remember those milkmen?

Milkmen.

Yeah, a hole in them, too.

They were kind of like an oval shape, that hole in them.

remember toaster strudels were good yeah toaster strudels are good i like those those are better

than pop tarts right there man i like the hell out of some toasters yeah buddy and uh someone

is mentioning hydrox is the hydrox the hydrox are gone they're pulled from the market i don't know

if you knew who was mentioning hydrox dc loke yeah i'm real hydrox they're gone i heard they

were gone mikey129 says hydrox is back are they back i thought they took them off the market and

and everyone was crying,

we ate the Hydrox.

I didn't like Hydrox.

Maybe they just took it to market in your...

Yeah, I don't know.

But, dude, Oreos, look at this right here.

That's...

This is how you eat the Oreo right here.

You go like that.

You got to eat the Oreo right now.

Do you put it back?

I lick the...

Do you put it back or the...

No, fuck that.

I lick the icing clean.

How do you do it?

How do you...

I lick the icing clean,

and then I eat each side one at a time.

I have a friend, he takes them

He crushes it in his hand

And he just pops the pieces

That's what he loves to do

Here you go, excessive consumption

May have a laxative effect

Dude, they still have

Oh, shit.

Excessive.

It's really hard.

I'll do the break them up in my hand.

Sucralose sweetener.

That's Splenda.

Oh, Sucralose.

Okay, that's a good one.

And acosulfame potassium sweetener.

I don't know what that is.

That's probably what gives you the shits right there.

Yeah, but yeah.

Excessive consumption may have a laxative effect.

That would be mean.

I was under arms on camera three.

This is just getting worse as the man goes.

Yeah, let him go.

Artie, shave your pits on the air, man.

Go get your razor, Artie.

I don't have a camera.

There he goes.

I'm watching the camera.

That's why I'm not watching the camera.

I'm not shaving his crotch.

Artie, go get your thing.

Go shave your pits on the air, please, on the camera.

I'll give you a dollar.

I'll give you a sugar-free Oreo.

It may have a laxative effect.

Go put a shirt on.

Show your teenage man.

Get your hand out of your pants.

God, that kid.

He's got a lot to learn.

You wonder why I don't want him to come here to the studio.

He is wrong.

Put this shirt on and it's fine.

Dude, Omega Marks says they got sugar-free Pop-Tarts at Walmart and Kroger's.

No Kroger's in Orlando.

But, yeah, definitely are Walmarts here.

Hang on.

I need to Google real quick here.

Is there really sugar-free Pop-Tarts?

Because every time I go to the store, I always go by the cereal aisle,

and I look up and down the Pop-Tarts.

and i and i look for that sugar-free one i don't see them here it's under a different name yeah

that's that's not the one well let me know is the walmart brand omar let me know man send me

a picture or something google image it let me know what to look for i'm going tomorrow to get

some sugar i'm going tomorrow morning i'm going to get up early just to get some sugar free pop

tarts i don't care need that oh man and then you know on the mission sir and i don't know if they

They still sell it, but as an ice cream topping, they sell Oreo pieces, you know,

in a little tin, you know, like a little, not a tin, a little cylinder kind of thing.

I used to just buy that, and a few times I would actually pour milk on top of it and eat it.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

Gee whiz, what is wrong with this guy?

Oh, my God.

Oh, man.

He's probably doing his crack.

This is getting serious.

What is he doing?

What is he doing over there?

I don't know.

There's a black tape over that camera.

He's showing his crack, dude.

pieces of clinkers up to the camera that's a dingleberry he's showing off right there

oh he just ate a dingleberry just come back to consciousness i think he's about ready to vomit

very good stuff also oh my god let's call let's call his ra

i'm gonna call his resident assistant real quick and just talk about

This room has been brained.

Folks, here comes a prank call for you.

This room has been brained.

He's shaving his ass.

Shaving his ass, but with no...

You gotta use...

Yeah, there he goes.

Don't eat your...

Come on.

Goddamn.

And you gotta use shaving cream.

You're gonna mess up your razor that way, my friend.

Anyway, prank call coming up, folks.

Madhouse Radio.

I'm in the moment.

Don't be bonin'.

Building C.

For any other assistance, 825,000.

He sucks, man.

He doesn't pick up the phone.

That guy sounds like a douche anyway.

Fuck UCF.

Fuck UCF and their shitty parking.

Shitty, expensive parking, man.

Fuck UCF.

I went there recently.

Well, I went there last term, actually, as a matter of fact.

You know how they cost like $70, $80 to get a parking permit for one semester,

and you can't find fucking parking anyway if you wanted it?

Bullshit.

Where do they have WPRK?

Is that where it was at?

No, that's at Rollins College.

That's the private.

Oh, at Rollins, that's right.

Well, that's where, um, what's his face?

Mr. Rogers went to that college, as a matter of fact.

How cool.

Good school.

Expensive as hell, but very good school.

Very pretty school.

Very Spanish.

It's like all Spanish.

Spain.

Does Pikemaster answer, or is he not answering?

He's not, uh, I haven't tried him yet.

I haven't tried him yet.

You haven't tried him yet.

Oh.

I like to pretend that I'm nowhere as big old hat.

Omega Marks says,

A zero-calorie sweetener with zero glycemic impact that's organic.

Zero has no artificial ingredients, making it the perfect replacement for synthetic sweeteners currently in the market.

Made from organic sugar cane juice, which is naturally fermented and crystallized to create the first organic sweetener.

Suitable for diabetics, calorie counters, vegetarians.

That sounds pretty cool.

I've heard of Stevia.

I heard Stevia is good, and it's not bad.

It's natural, but it is very hard to find.

It's expensive, as a matter of fact.

It's hard to find, and it's expensive as hell.

very expensive to find a message what's that I again already says try again

please all right and then we got to do this we got to do basses UFO hotline and

we got to do the the motorcycle priest and then we got to do the British call

so let's get moving here I just I just took a you know sleeping pillow so let's

move on here Eddie Garcia yo Eddie it's been a long

I've seen it in little packages.

Little brown paper kind of things.

Hello?

Hi, this is Tiffany.

Tiffany, I got a problem.

There's dingleberries all over this place.

What?

Dingleberries are all over on the floor, on the mattress.

I didn't sign up for this.

Okay.

Who is this?

I didn't sign up.

What?

Who is this?

This is Little John.

Ralph Little John.

During a recent screening, we noticed an issue regarding your account.

What the fuck?

For your protection, please have your PIN ready and contact our customer service partner at 1-800-

Is that a B-card?

Are you fucking kidding me?

Is that a B-card?

Is that- did I use mine or lonesome- I think I might have dialed mine.

Ah, shit.

It must be the old one, yeah, because, yeah, that's the old one there.

And why is it doing that anyway?

Dude, get rid of it!

God damn it.

Of course, dude, somebody's paying you, man.

Someone turned you in.

Someone was monitoring and didn't like it

Who would have done that?

And she took her name down and that was that

You know who it might have been

All those people over there at Switchcard

That pretend like they're not monitoring your calls

And they are

Yeah, no, they're not monitoring the calls

They're not, but maybe they got a subpoena

I don't know

I don't want to call them

They call me, oh yeah

We've phoned out

We're just going to get rid of that

Let them keep the 13 fucking dollars

You're disrupting your improvisational comedy.

My improvisational comedy.

Maybe I was like, what the fuck?

All right, anyway.

You're explaining about it that you're doing it with show.

You are.

You're entertaining people, and they are infringing on your comedy, your job, your personality,

your public persona, your mastery, your skill to entertain people.

Not a lot of people called, but hey, thanks, brother.

Maybe one day you might do it.

maybe make a little

cashew with it

yeah that's right

yeah

Nick's sugar in the rye

is not recommended

I don't

I didn't

I think I've had it before

I think I put it in tea

a few times

I wasn't a big fan of it

I mean I couldn't

really tell the difference

isn't it

it's really molasses-y

isn't it

it doesn't have a lot of

it's really dark and molasses

it's got like

molassy

you know what I'm trying to say

kind of thick

kind of gooey

sugar right

it's hard to mix

it does

it has more of a brown sugar taste

yeah

oh yeah

yeah because

Because we have that in the Virgin Islands, dude.

We can grab a lot of sugar down there still.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Let's call the UK.

Well, no, no, no.

I'm sorry.

God damn it.

I keep forgetting.

Let's call the UFO hotline.

Let me find that.

That came from Baz.

Let's see.

UFO hotline.

Any suggestions for the UFO hotline?

Eddie Garcia, Baz, you said?

We'll do that.

There it is.

It's a national UFO reporting hotline.

Yeah, that'd be cool.

Okay.

They're at NUFORC.org, and they're in Davenport, WA.

All right, let's give them a call here.

One moment.

Hey, that's not too far from me.

There you go.

Send him to your house.

Tell him to get a gray.

Tell him that you would count a primate alien.

Last week we did get, remember that lady said she had the deputy on the other line already?

To trace us, some Asian.

I didn't even say nothing to her, though.

I didn't say nothing to her.

Oh.

That was, you may be right.

Hi.

Excuse me.

Can you hear me?

There's someone being rude in the background talking.

Can you hear me?

Okay, are you alone? Is this anonymous completely?

I'm sorry, my name is Ralph, little John.

What the fuck?

You legitimately have seen the UFO.

You can just hang up on me like that.

Sir, are you there?

Right, bastard. We're going to wait for this to clear up.

What the hell?

What do you know? A UFO thing?

How are they going to find UFOs if they act like that with people?

I'm going to tell them that in there.

Yeah.

The same gentleman I just spoke with earlier.

Sir, are you the same gentleman a few minutes ago?

As an American, obviously if I spoke to you earlier.

Well, I'm not American, sir.

Did I say I was American? Do I sound American to you?

How can I help you? Why are you calling me?

I believe that I came in contact with something that was not of this world.

I came to, I vomited.

Did you get a photograph?

No, I didn't get a photograph, sir.

I need to know, I think this has happened several times already.

Yes, I would, but I'm just a little concerned with your abrasive internet.

I have a paper and pen here.

Here, what is the address that I need to send it to?

No, sir.

I was given this number by a gentleman that I know from back when I was in the Air Force.

He's an airline pilot.

He took a picture of something when he was flying once cross-country.

He told me in confidence that you folks were anonymous, that I could send you a report with what I saw.

I think I saw a group of them crossing in a certain area.

And then all of a sudden I felt myself go down.

And I came to, and I can't account for three hours of my life, sir.

oh god look at you with the bugs there was 20 of them that crossed the capture them in my mustang

he's not gonna go patient with americans he's heard it every fucking day dude i'm sorry i know

he has an ounce of all that guy i have grown quote unquote i've grown very impatient with

americans let me call him again and ask him about his unpatriotism if he doesn't like what

where is it where are you calling to i don't know probably asshole that guy

you can go on, bro, you're impatient with America

if you're impatient with America, why don't you go back to

Ramunakha, I'm tracing this call

get the fuck out of my planet

asshole

he's so impatient

uh oh, he's tracing already

here's the guy, here's the guy

screaming

the next call we're gonna get here is gonna be like

I have traced

he's gonna trace it just like that

did you prank all my associates?

shit oh jesus christ man that reminds me we have that uh i like the megaphone let's put let's put

that prank call that we did was back with that just just to do it just to do it for radio

before the end of the show we will we'll fuck with him a little bit

that's carlito like i said seriously though who the fuck is he like i'm getting so tired of

americans i'm so elite yeah it's thursday nights right here on syndicate radio.tv

I love Zola's radio voice.

How you doing, dear?

Is that Zola?

She's asleep. I'm sorry.

Oh, this is her old friend, Miriam.

Miriam Lay.

Can you hold on for a minute, please?

Well, who am I speaking to, dear?

This is her daughter.

Oh, what was your name?

I keep forgetting.

I got the Alzheimer's, dear.

Hattie.

I'm sorry, Fatty?

Hattie.

Oh, Hattie, like a hat you wear on your head?

Wait, hold on.

Who's hunting me down there?

I is...

Hey, what?

All right.

Carlito, you pick it up from here, okay?

Carlito?

Eddie?

Yeah, Ethel Siller is coming on the phone.

Okay, hello?

Hello?

Is Ethel asleep?

Well, I have a lady here that we found here outside of the steps of the church, and she

gave us her phone number for a contact.

We're off.

You know, we couldn't do the free cab ride.

13 minutes remaining for this call.

Thank you for using the 7-Eleven call home network.

One Oreo left.

I didn't even have any milk.

This is Mr. Rice.

How are you, Mary?

How are you?

This is Mr. Rice.

No, I'm with the Potato Commission.

I'm just calling to make sure that you get taken your potato enema this evening.

Do you remember getting the instructions for that, madam?

Oh, please don't hang up.

Please don't hang up.

This is my last quarter.

Terry, she's coming.

We're calling the UK, by the way.

In the meantime, we'll keep playing this prank call.

What a great voice.

See who that is.

Phone, you know, the little phone book thing that you got,

the black little phone thing that she's got in her purse?

Uh-huh.

I got to hear, you know, she's here next to me right now.

I don't know if she's diabetic or she's drunk.

You know.

Ain't nothing wrong with me.

And what's your name?

The 7-Eleven Call Home Network.

Hey, Vlad.

Is Nicola gone?

Do I have a number?

This is Ralph Littlejohn.

How are you?

Hello.

This is Ralph calling for Nicola.

Is that your wife, Nicola, or your father?

That's me.

This is about the potato tomorrow morning.

This morning here in a few hours.

Let me see.

Okay, thank you.

Getting somewhere.

Hey, Lizzy Poo's back. What's up, negra?

Hello, man.

Hello.

Hi, Nicola. How are you?

Who's this, please?

This is Ralph Littlejohn, and I'm calling to make sure, just to confirm,

that you're still coming in for your potato enema later on tonight.

Today, rather.

Potato enema?

Yes.

I don't know. It's all messing about.

How many potatoes do you think you shove up there?

I love waking up the UK at 5.30 in the morning with bullshit like that.

Apparently, I was missing my own.

about she's too smart for that one there isn't she

somebody gotta go and get me over here

phone card network for english press one

You have eight remaining.

Please enter the telephone number you wish to dial.

Hello?

Yes, Ethel.

Ethel, I'm here with a lady who appears to be either drunk or inebriated.

We find her outside of the steps of the church,

and I don't know if you're a member of this congregation or not,

but she keeps asking us to give you a call.

I ain't drunk. I ain't drunk.

Answer the phone, Leslie.

You still want to answer the phone?

Did you drop it?

This is Ralph Littlejohn.

May I speak with Leslie, please?

I'm talking about something about the devil or something.

I don't know.

Does she frequent the church here?

Church where?

She frequents the church.

Apparently, she's a very religious woman.

I understand.

Are you a religious person yourself?

No, I'm probably religious, not completely.

Yeah.

I'm looking about and I smell a sulfur.

I think maybe perhaps she has a wicked ghost in her or something like that.

Is the white man may ever die you?

Yeah.

Dear, dear, I'm over here by the man.

Let me use his cell phone.

I call, it's Miriam, the white devil.

Come and get me and put me away.

What's your name?

It's Miriam.

It's Miriam Lay.

I'm over there by North Brown Street down the beach from you.

You see me around the church.

The white devil going to take me away.

I have a bad feeling that the white devil is around here somewhere.

Have you seen the white devil around at all?

I think the white devil is taking possession of those.

No, I haven't.

I hear it.

Don't you hear it, Ethel?

No.

They got me in the back of a van.

It's not looking like an ambulance, but the white devil driving it.

Miriam, they say, you coming with us?

I said, call Ethel.

Ethel gonna save my whole.

You say her last name?

Who's that?

On the street, I was living out of shelter, and I tried to escape and come by you.

I said, Edelzilla is going to be my savior.

She's going to save my whole...

What is that?

She lives in the dumpster by the church, he says.

Dumpster by the church, church.

Van down by the river.

She lives in the First Unity Church in the city.

Oh, no.

No.

No, that church.

They got bought by Columbia Church the other day.

In fact, they merged.

National City Church and National Church, and they merged together.

Did you hear about that one?

No, I don't know about that one.

Is the white devil on your end of the line or mine?

I don't understand.

No, it's the white devil on my end.

Can you hear that, Ethel?

Can you hear that, white devil?

I live on Farnsfield.

He said he corrupting the phone system, Ethel.

Boogie down, boogie down.

Did you pay your phone bill?

Have you been paying your phone bill on time?

Because the white devil will take over your phone if you don't pay your bill on time.

Yeah, I paid my bill.

I just paid my bill.

My bill just paid it today.

day and so the white devil said you last check bounce monday today after 2 p.m that's probably

what's going on here yeah i just paid my bill my car just paid it today for me was it in the

afternoon of my phone bill ask her what time she paid the phone bill this is important

phone bill had yeah today but she's gonna look on the receipt to see just let me know and ask

her for the receipt number too if you could i give it what number no on the receipt the receipt

Receipt number.

Huh?

The time, today.

Devil, you got to come and get me away from this white devil.

He say he going to impregnate me until, oh, my uterus been dried up for years.

Uh-huh.

They're going with what he says, white devil.

Devil.

22-27, where's he at?

I said he's at 7-10.

At 7-10.

11-10 a.m.?

Uh-huh.

Today.

You got the number on that receipt?

Yeah.

Give me the number on the receipt.

Receipt number 235-001-9315.

315.

9315.

93.

No, she don't know.

Did she make it an authorized phone payment center?

Ethel, don't listen to him.

He with the white devil, Ethel.

Don't listen to him.

Don't give him your personal information.

Ethel.

Oh, Lord.

Well.

Ethel, Ethel.

Ethel, this is Miriam.

can you hear me dear can we bring marion over i mean to get this i mean honestly she's she's

either drunk or diabetic and do you have like any any hard candy over there do you think

uh hard candy yeah any hard candy he had yes hello hello yes uh do you have any hard candy

for ethel yes because she i i think i need it i need it miriam lay i need it the donnie's yeah

Yeah, I'm confused.

The white devil's on the line somehow.

I don't understand how.

This lady's diabetic shock.

I'm not in shock.

I saw the white devil.

Who is on the phone?

That's her daughter?

My mother is blind, and she is almost 90 years old.

If y'all come with this foolishness again, I will have the phone come off you.

She fucking finally realized that it was a fucking joke.

Yeah, it's kind of fun.

It's all over.

It's on tomorrow night at 9 p.m.

Be sure to catch that.

We're going to call the U.K. again.

This is going to be

Mon Middleton

West Midlands, England

What is a piss-up?

It's a drinking session

Cool

That's almost

Almost 6 a.m. over there

We'll do it

We still have to

Cycle

Church guy

And prank master

We'll get into bed

It's almost 1 o'clock

Might take us about

10 minutes to end the show

Yeah, Walter

I'll give you a bottle of new

We'll thank my mom

For giving birth to me

And inside my mother

For more rings

Hello

How are you, sir?

Mr. Middleton

Thank you

That's very funny

Hey, I wanted to invite you

To a piss-up tonight

night i have uh it's coming it's coming well at least he knows how to hang up the phone better

than his friend leslie over there huh you have eight dollars 64 cents please enter the telephone

number you wish it was on ring number zero for that to happen folks is good good morning sister

how are you is this your mind you have eight dollars 62 cents please enter the telephone

number you wish to dial now you're gonna get bored of my show here tonight folks again let me uh let

Let me find that number for Kokanee.

Because I've only been promising I'd call it for the last, oh, fucking five weeks now, I think.

Pastor gets in a motorcycle crash during service.

Name was Jeff Harlow.

He broke his wrist when he lost control of his bike.

Oh, my God.

A pastor brought out a dirt bike during a church service to demonstrate the concept of unity.

This is on July 22nd.

Wow, that's over a month ago.

Apparently, he broke his wrist when he lost control of the motorcycle at the start of Sunday's second service.

driving off a five-foot platform and into the vacant first row of seats.

He underwent surgery on the wrist Monday.

That's interesting.

All right, let's do that.

Let's play some Punjabi music here.

What do you say?

Oh, it's fun.

All right.

Hey, could we edit?

I think that call would have been the Satan I Reboot Thee.

Satan I Reboot Thee?

He's answering your call.

He does have big problems.

Problems indeed.

How are you, sir?

I'm good.

How's that wrist of yours doing, sir?

Good, good.

Good. I wanted to lay down arms in prayer for you.

You know, we prayed for that wrist of yours that it wouldn't heal incorrectly,

but apparently we got the x-rays back.

We're going to have to actually have you come back in and remove two.

We're going to have to insert two pins.

It did not heal correctly, sir.

We kind of, we set it incorrectly.

How soon can you be here, sir?

We kind of would like you to beat the rush.

Okay.

I'm doing this as a favor to you.

What's so funny, sir?

Okay, look.

You came in here with a broken wrist, right?

Okay, you had a physician who was under the influence of alcohol who made a mistake, wrote it down, and found it on the report.

So what we're trying to do before the health inspector gets here is get this taken care of and under the bridge before they find out in the paperwork that we handled it wrong.

You understand?

Because the way right now, the way your wrist is going to fuse, you're going to feel a slight, low, dull pain, and it's going to become greater and greater.

And then you're going to come in here like, oh, my wrist, you didn't do it right, and then we're going to get in trouble.

Okay?

Okay, so what I need you to do is we need you to come here.

We're going to do surgery here, elective surgery here tonight.

Cleaning crew is the only people that are going to be in here.

No one's going to know.

We send you home with a bottle of extra strength Tylenol, and you're good to go.

Great.

Now, you're going to be in 15 minutes?

That's good.

Now, you're a man of the cloth, correct?

I lose every day.

Well, me too.

But, you know, you stand in front of people and talk out of the Bible machine, right?

Well, you know that machine that you open up that has the words in it?

You know what I'm talking about?

to read, look in your Bible. Do you have a Bible? Do you own a Bible, sir? Do you have

more than one? Wow. I have more than one Bible. I'm a big preacher with more than one Bible

in my... Do you have a Bible in your bathroom? The curtains are coming to you, sir. The curtains

are on you. Catch you later. No. Are you going to say your prayers tonight before you go

to bed? Catch you later. Will you pray that I won't be a sick person anymore? He's not

going to pray for me. Fucking ass.

What road is he in again? He's in Kokomo. Crossroads Community Church. There's too

too many churches in this world. They need to start

consolidating these churches, you know what I mean?

Oh, wait a minute. We were playing that prank, right?

Ay-yi-yi.

What's going on there?

Jesus. In the name of Jesus.

You

Hey.

Thank you in the name of Jesus.

In the name of Jesus.

What would Satan say?

Oh, God.

I just realized that.

Stupid Carlito.

All right.

Oh, my God.

You're doing it.

Oh, God.

Yeah.

Milkman, take us out of here.

I've lost power.

I've lost control of my bowels and my functions.

Can I terminate the call, please?

We are terminating the show.

Oh, hell.

The problem is you have to order.

I'm going to text this little man.

I'll tell you what.

Got a real kickin' afternoon here evening, friends.

Jerry Allen.

Enjoy myself, as always.

Hope you have, too.

We thank all our friends here at Stop Fire in the Mouth.

Here, fans, friends, with me, especially, our hit man with the numbers, Mr. Lone Simulator.

We know we couldn't do it without you, my brother, my man.

You are the numbers, God.

Thank you so much.

All our other friends at Stop Fire tonight, me, uh, friends, Zach, on everybody.

We have a season so long, life-like.

Oh, you guys, thanks a lot.

Thank you so much.

We sure do appreciate coming along and going to fun.

That's at our flagship station today, Radio.TV.

Go showbiz and bless y'all.

Oh, yeah.

Stay tuned.

Coming up next is Side Check.

Check coming up.

That's right.

Going to take a cruise.

Welcome, Maven.

Thank you so much for joining in.

and hopefully Frank Mastro will pick up on the phone call.

And if he doesn't, his app light is blue.

Blue needs a blue one side or the other for the floating.

It needs to be 25 feet by 30 feet.

We evacuate and...

So, um, what happened to you, you know, being around all the time?

You kind of laugh.

I know we pick on you and stuff, but, you know, I do.

I've known you since you were a little kid, you know?

Yeah, but that's because I'm busy doing shows and I have two jobs.

Two jobs? What are you doing? Cooking?

Yep.

You ever do the hibachi stuff?

stuff yeah that's easy to do right you just gotta be like right what's the easy especially when you

make the uh onion volcanoes you could do that really so what what are you what is it is that

vodka that you guys burn or what is it or just butter what is it no it's a japanese alpha like

sake yeah okay and then what else do you do hang on to the volcano there's one other thing you do

too with the fire well there's always two things yeah it's uh there's another fire one though

with you guys.

There's the...

No, maybe not.

I always thought

there was two things

that they would fire.

They did the volcano

and there's one

where they just explode.

And then they did

the smiley face

on the...

The smiley face.

Yeah, yeah.

Like in Fight Club.

All right, cool.

Yeah, man, well, you know,

some people wanted us

to call you.

I don't know why.

So, random show.

Thought I'd call you

and make sure

you're doing okay.

Yeah.

This thing, actually,

he's been out of action

for a while.

One of them used to

chill out and talk.

Very bad thing, man.

Guys, thank you

for being on the show.

I suppose you yourself

okay where were you getting milkman that you guys wanted me to call prank master i don't know

big deal call prank master there he is

It's a very smooth transition.

Well, sir, we're back on all you guys out there.

We did squeeze in that request.

Thank you so much, Edemano.

I'd like to thank also Mr. Ted Webb for providing this wonderful popsicle we have right here.

Coconut Tree Landline System there.

It's broadcast every Saturday night on the planet.

Thank you so much.

Crazy motherfucker.

Crazy bastard out there.

Thanks for calling in.

I did enjoy hearing your ranting and raving.

And also, Evil Artie, no more shaving the dingleberries on the camera, please.

Thank you so much for joining us, everybody, especially you.

That's right, our listeners.

You know what?

We love you.

We do this every week.

We drop the time.

All we do is ask that you use the time.

And that's your friends.

Better yet, remember your enemies.

And we're all sharing right here in this madhouse.

We're going to get ready about TV type thing in the mad better.

But don't forget, we can do it better.

Hey, thanks, Milkman.

Thank you for making fun of my medical problem.

Thank you.

I appreciate that.

Thank you, asshole.

Thanks to Lonesome Loser.

I'm kidding, man.

Love you, buddy.

All right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right, thanks to Tuck, you, of course, Milkman, Baz, and Brandon Vegas over here.

Thank you, guys.

Thank you for your focus.

for submitting numbers.

Lonesome Loser, of course,

the most important one as well.

And who called in tonight?

Kyan called in.

Had a good prank call.

There you go, man.

There you go.

Yeah, he did.

Thanks for not calling in, douche.

Crazy Fucker called in also.

That was cool.

Good to hear from him again.

Preaching the truth to you.

He was over there.

Everyone, be sure to visit

madhouselive.com.

Check out the Twitter page,

twitter.com forward slash madhouse.

And be sure to stay tuned

to syndicateradio.tv.

Visit the site.

visit the people there

and coming up next

is Sidekick Chirk

that's right

Sidekick Chirk

that's what he said

that's right

that's what he said

spleach card sucks

we're going to call him

and cut some out

we'll do that

and also of course

be sure to visit

tuckermike.com

my

Mr. Tuck

that is his website there

I think that's all

we don't have anybody else

yeah

seanward.net

we don't really have

a lot of people

with a lot of plugs tonight

that's right

alright

see you guys

bye Tuck

you're around man

you're just sitting there

like

All right, well, I'll see you guys later.

Next week it is, Thursday night.

Madhouse Radio is live Thursday nights at 10 p.m. Eastern.

Why don't you shut the hell up?

Fuck you! Fuck you fucking penis!

Be sure to visit us online at madhouselive.com.

Calls (18, 45 min of 2 h 38 min)

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