2008-09-11 Show

Well, in America...

Who the fuck is this?

You are listening to the House Radio Podcast.

Who the fuck is this?

Good evening, everybody.

It is Thursday night, and we're here, as usual.

As per usual.

I'm Carl Leder, your host for the evening.

Madhouse Radio making a beautiful return here.

We've been off for the last two weeks.

Well, I mean, we did.

We missed one show, but I guess when you only do a week show, you know, every week,

If you miss one show, you spend two weeks without doing a show, technically, I guess, right?

So, it's like half a month.

For some reason, I've missed shows before, but for some reason, it feels like it's been forever since I last did a show.

I don't know why.

I just, I guess the last two weeks have been...

A lot has gone on.

A lot, in my life, a lot's gone on.

That's been a long one, man.

It's, yeah, it's been a long break here.

It's like the show has been coming in Bermuda.

Yeah, it got sunk down in the triangle, man.

You know what I figured out just now?

The word triangle means three angles, and triangles have three angles in them.

Yeah, see?

Look at that, man.

Yeah.

Makes sense.

Triangle.

Did you get it?

As well as words you say so much you get, you know, you say it so much you get used to it.

You know, you don't ever think about what does it mean.

And then like a foreigner comes up to you and asks what, yeah.

Yeah.

The foreigner will come up to you and go, what does this word mean?

and you can't tell them

because it's as well,

I mean, it's triangle.

I just make,

no other meaning.

I make the symbol.

I'll pull anything.

Oh, I forgot to turn the cam on.

Whoops.

There we go.

Now you can see me.

Hey, everybody.

What hat you wearing?

None.

I don't have a hat on at all, buddy.

You wearing a hat?

No hat.

Not yet.

I think I'm going to need glasses eventually.

That's a loose shirt.

No, no.

It's a blue shirt.

It's a blue baseball type shirt.

Nothing crazy.

Nothing queer.

Hey, everybody.

No reason to really turn the camera on.

Really? No, but they get upset. The kids get upset when they don't see me, so.

Anyway, so hey everybody, I am on cam. We are Madhouse Radio. We are Madhouse Radio.

Checking us out wherever you're checking us out. Thank you for checking us out there.

Of course, here with me as always is Milkman. Milkman making it tonight.

We didn't think for a while that he might not, we thought he might not make it, but he made it.

What's up, Milkman? How you doing?

You're breaking up a lot, Milkman. I don't know what's going on.

She's looking pretty hot tonight, there.

yeah she was uh eating uh she was eating a lollipop earlier live on cam and i enjoy that

uh i enjoy that i don't know what what is it about watching a woman eat a lollipop or eating

a banana what are things that women can eat that men find interesting well you know i think women

eating a bananas lollipops if you don't know kid uh son uh i ain't gonna say if you don't know

Popsicles

Zucchini

No

You got some weird fantasies, Milkman

What is a zucchini?

Yeah, tacos

Hot dogs

Yeah

Eat that zucchini

Hide the banana, ladies

Alright, so

That's Tuck over there

Tuck's in the house

What's up, Tuck?

How you doing, man?

Doing fairly well

How about you, Phil?

I'm doing fairly well, too

Thank you, sir

Very well put

One of my browsers is not working here

so I'm busy trying to fix that here real quick.

Going into my task manager in XP and trying to repair that here.

Hopefully that'll start working so I can see what the syndicators are saying.

But hey, a big what's up to syndicateradio.tv.

What's up, fellas?

Show it all.

The full monty tonight is the motto for Syndicate Radio.

Of course, Brandon Vegas is here as well.

I don't know if he's paying attention, but Brandon Vegas, what's up, man?

Hello, hello.

Sin City represent.

What's up, man?

And, of course, Lonesome Loser also checking in.

The man himself, the dark hit man of prank calls,

is in the house sending in a ton of numbers already.

Good to see you, bro.

I was in Lonesome Loser territory, actually.

I was in Pennsylvania yesterday.

No, I was still on my way.

No, actually, we landed about 10 o'clock, actually.

Absolutely freezing.

Milkman, you're really cutting in and out a lot.

We're going to have to work on that, man.

Milkman's at work.

He's on his laptop at work.

I think maybe he doesn't get a lot of bars out there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's working on it around Internet Red.

radio we should be working that's right get to work milkman company time up man yeah that's fine

we can hear we hear you still man um so yeah last two weeks i don't know did i miss much

i don't know if i did a lot of things happened in the news uh lately here that we can talk about i

know kanye west got arrested what's that about huh while we were away what happened i'm sorry

The whole Sarah Palin thing happened when we were gone.

That's right.

The last show we did was live during Obama's acceptance speech.

Wow, that was two weeks ago today?

Yeah, we totally missed the whole Republican convention and all that.

Too little is.

Yeah, we did.

Yeah, that was a week ago.

Two weeks ago tomorrow, that was when Sarah Palin got announced.

Apparently Obama's gone down in the polls as a dead heat right now between McCain and Obama.

It's going to be an interesting election for sure.

not as much

but it's still

I feel

still feel

he's a superior

candidate

and I'm sure

things will work

out come

debate time

come debate time

I'm sure that

it's going to be

very interesting

but I really

don't see McCain

being able to

hold a candidate

they went with

the naughty

librarian

exactly

well good for them

we'll see how

that works out

they're all

fired up and stuff

but it can only

last so long

you know

a woman

can only hang around

for so long

until she starts

smelling like a dead fish.

Usually about

three or four weeks

is what I understand

of these things.

About the issue

of nothing.

Yeah, well,

the Republicans

really aren't saying much.

That's right.

So anyway,

thanks everybody

for listening tonight.

Of course,

we're going to be getting

into some topics,

into some prank calls.

Looking for some advice,

actually.

Going back to the

advice side of things.

Man, you've got really,

you've got to do

something here.

This sucks without you

being able to talk normally.

you get really bad like echo there in the background not echo but you got like a sounds

like an air conditioner be buying a new car probably this probably this weekend or this

weekend let you all know give you an update with the car of course i got into a car accident over

a month ago here at this point and uh did finally get that taken care of here apparently yesterday

the news came through to me from my adjuster he reported that uh the insurance company of the

woman who hit me her fault of course took responsibility they finally decided to take

responsibility for the accident so they are going to be um well they're offering to fix

the car now what i want to note is in the meantime what happened uh about two days after the uh after

the live show we did here uh my my car which is which is which is already damaged uh it was

leaking oil it's been leaking oil for about a year now so every saturday and every wednesday i open

up the you know the hood and i check the oil i add a little bit make sure all the fluids are okay

because it's leaking it's it's a 99 car and it has 185 plus mile 185 000 plus miles on it so

So, unfortunately, because of the accident, I'm sure you guys saw the damages already in my car.

I couldn't open the hood.

I had no access to it.

It's stuck.

And sure enough, I'm driving, and I start seeing white smoke coming out of the back.

I accelerate, and it starts shooting off at me randomly.

So, apparently, it's blown a head gasket, or it's about to blow a head gasket.

So, I've got myself, and I showed this to you folks here recently.

It's somewhere here.

Oh, I hope I do have it, because that's what I'm going to use for my down payment on my new car.

But I got the check right here.

Here we go.

Checked for over $1,700.

I have another $500 coming to me also.

Nice.

So that's a good $2,200 worth of down payment on a new car I'm going to be making.

I'm going to get another Honda.

More than likely, I'm going to get a Civic this time around.

I did have a Honda Accord.

I'm going to go a little smaller.

I don't know if Jack Masters is buying pizza tonight, Milkman.

It's totally off topic.

But I will be buying probably a car this weekend or maybe next weekend.

Yeah, I'm going to have to deal with Honda Civics.

Yeah, what does that have to do with Honda Civics?

Are you going to deliver pieces from your Honda Civics?

No, Milkman's thinking, well, he doesn't want that belly a piece of wood car vehicle in there.

You got a point, Milkman.

I think that's about a good...

You can put Papa John's on the top.

Jack Masterson would spend about $2,000 on pizza just for him alone.

You can put Papa John's on the top of your car and he drives it.

Yeah, yeah, so...

Totally a piece of wood vehicle in there.

So if anybody has any ideas or any suggestions,

but I think I'm going to lease the car because I don't want to stay with it for too long

because I would hope that within five years I would be able to maybe get a car

that's fueled by something other than gasoline, whether it be natural gas or by hydrogen.

You would hope so, right?

So I'm going to do a five-year lease, I think,

so I get some low payments that I'm going to trade it in right after that.

I'm not interested in purchasing this next car I'm going to get

because I really have a feeling like cars are going to change here within the next four, five, six years.

so I'm going to do that

now I am

I am wanting to get

the model

what are we

making the effort to

anyway

we are

well the

the demand is definitely

out there

when there's a demand

the corporations respond

plug it into a wall

go

plug it into a wall

go

that's how you really do

yeah

well there is

all this

all weird

all crazy stuff

plug it into a wall

go

well do my research here

plug it into a wall

there's a civic model

2009

that's powered on

natural

I think it says it's powered on natural gas.

Or, you know, I have no idea how that would work.

How would you fill that up again?

Would you buy a tank?

I think if they're working on the moon,

I'd be fired.

I never may be, man.

But how do you do that?

Do you buy a bottle of can of propane?

How are you going to guarantee

that your gas station down the street

is going to have your key weird

bio-green fuel that you need?

Exactly.

You don't.

Well, I think I researched once.

I think there's only one station.

I'm trying to get with this movie up, though.

There's only one station in the state of Florida that has biodiesel, from what I understand.

I think last year I did some research.

Yeah, you know?

Why even bother?

Why even bother going through with it?

Anyway, so yeah, new car.

It's always a good feeling, man, to get behind the wheel of a new car.

But I'm already haggling.

Already I'm trying to do as much as I can online via email.

I'm definitely, you know, and I took the idea.

I said, I'm calculating, you know, I know how much I want to spend monthly on the car.

So I'm doing the work myself, and I calculated my monthly payment already,

and I calculated how much the purchase price would be for the monthly payment I want.

And then what I'm going to, what always gets you, the best thing to do from what I think,

from what I hear, what I've learned in the past,

the best thing to do is when you go to the dealership,

you don't tell them what you want to pay a month.

That's how they get you.

You just tell them, I want to pay blah, blah, blah for the car.

I want to play $16,000, $16,000, $17,000, whatever it may be for the car.

That's my plan.

You know, I want to deal on the price of the car, and I want to deal on the interest rate, matter of fact.

I don't have the best of credit, but I'll get a cosigner, you know what I mean?

Mikey129 says, Carlito, Europe has the Prius that has the option to run gas electric or full electric.

That's cool.

We have Priuses here in Florida, too, right?

Actually, Athena's parents, they have a hybrid.

They have a Highlander, a Toyota Highlander hybrid.

It's really cool because the thing, like, when you start it, you turn on the car,

it sounds like you're sitting in a car that's not even turned on.

Like, you just start moving the car, and it doesn't make any noise at all.

Oh, yeah.

It is the trippiest thing, dude.

It is really, yeah, it's really, really wicked.

Really, really wicked.

Gatling 30 is saying M, M, M, M, M, sugar.

But I'm saying, you know, they're powerful enough to do what cars do,

for just, you know, plugging into the wall,

charge up, and go.

Everybody's got electricity.

Yeah.

Everyone has electricity.

Everyone has wall sockets.

Yeah, but wouldn't it be worse on the environment?

I bet you...

Don't be all doing all this weird stuff.

Everyone has electricity.

It's probably more pollution if you did it that way,

you know, because of the creating of electricity.

I don't know.

I don't know how it works.

You think so? How?

I do know that I saw the documentary

called Who Killed the Electric Car?

Where in California, I believe it was,

is they had GM made an electric car, and it was actually really popular, sold well,

it was a very good vehicle.

They didn't have a very long range, but they were perfecting it

to the point where it was going to have a pretty decent range.

I think it only got like 26 miles on a full charge.

But they were improving it, and then they took it off the market, you know.

They just took it right off the market, apparently, and for no reason.

I mean, they say that they couldn't have made a ton of money,

but they decided not to, and the speculation is, you know,

the oil companies and all that pressure GM to take their electric car off the market.

Exactly, no, because it was, yeah, there was pressure.

But to do it now, I think it would be a different story.

Right.

Hollywood Vanya.

I'll pressure now to be alternative fuel.

Hollywood Vanya's bringing up, he's asking me if I want the first season of The Shield on DVD.

That'll never happen.

Yeah, I wish they had, dude, that would be, you know, the most...

I would, because I've never really seen The Shield.

I would like to get into that.

Hydrogen?

I've never really seen it.

Look, man, hydrogen essentially is water.

I mean, right?

Right? I mean, you can get hydrogen from water, right?

I mean, basically, hydrogen is very plentiful.

So we're getting there.

It's one-third.

There you go.

And the planet is two-thirds water, so do the math right there.

We have 50% of the planet's water, or hydrogen or something.

I don't know.

Anyway, so Hollywood says, yeah, he's bringing up something that we didn't get to talk about here in the last two weeks.

The Shield, my favorite TV show of all time, I really think is the best show of all time.

didn't make its return

two Tuesdays ago.

If you didn't get a chance

to watch it,

and I said this before,

if you've never seen The Shield,

do yourself a favor,

get the first season,

get the second season.

Rent yourself,

go out and Netflix,

Netflix,

download,

buy,

rent,

Blockbuster,

whatever it takes.

The first season of The Shield,

the first two episodes

were kind of meh.

After that,

by the end of that first season,

you're hooked.

You're a Shield fan for life.

And I've seen them all.

I own them.

Actually,

to Hollywood, I did actually go out and I bought

every single season of The Shield

with the exception of the last season, season 6.

I wasn't too happy. But

the first two episodes

of this last season of The Shield have been

awesome. I'm very happy

with it and from what I understand

they're only going to get better.

So do yourself a favor and that's every Tuesday

night at 9pm Eastern.

You can watch The Shield on FX.

It's a shame the show is going away

but it's lived out its term. It's been on since

since 2001, I think.

It started at the same time

the Sopranos did.

I think it started

within a few weeks

of the Sopranos.

Yeah, that's a pretty good run there.

Yeah, it is.

It is.

All right, so there it is.

Especially in this day and age, yeah.

Really briefly,

I did want to mention

we did have a

Death in the Family here.

I don't know if you guys

heard about this.

I always liked that.

You liked Death in the Family?

I thought it was

a pretty good show, you know.

Yeah, that's good.

You liked Death in the Family.

Hey, Dan, Don.

Death in the Family,

that's a good show.

Don LaFontaine died

two weeks ago

I don't know if you guys know who Don LaFontaine is

he's the guy that did all the

Hollywood

movie trailer voices

that guy there he died

he was a very talented individual

he's the guy that did all the voiceovers

for movie trailers and stuff like that

he was the movie voice

very popular man

I think he was on a TV commercial once too

that I saw for Geico or something like that

so rest in peace

At least Don LaFontaine two weeks ago.

I mean, he's rotting by now, but he's gone.

That's it.

Don LaFontaine.

Or Don LaFontaine.

I already said it.

In a world gone mad, Don LaFontaine has died.

Brandon says The Shield is on regular TV.

That's right.

I have seen it in syndication.

I don't know if they cut parts of it out because there's some cursing in The Shield

and some mild nudity and some sex scenes.

Not like full out because it's still on FX.

It's not on HBO.

Yeah, they butcher syndicated shows.

They butcher those things to death.

I've seen Simpsons works butchered to death on syndication.

Oh, God.

Yeah, that's true.

They have taken parts.

Seemingly for no reason, they take out parts.

You remember that show in the 90s on HBO?

God, what was it called?

There was this guy, and he lived his life, you know, whatever,

and then it was always interspersed with old clips of black and white TV shows.

You know what I'm talking about?

Remote Troll?

No.

Was it Remote Control?

That was MTV.

That was the game show.

Yeah, but it was something like that.

Dream On.

There we go.

Piss Jug gets it.

Go suffer, Piss Jug.

Go Dream On.

Dream On.

Yeah.

They tried to bring that to Fox once.

They were syndicating it on Fox in prime time.

And they cut so much out of it.

I was like, this sucks.

Crap, you know?

Push the shit out of him.

Yeah.

Dreamon, he had, like, he had sex in every episode of that show.

Like, every episode had a sex scene in it.

It was an awesome, I was like.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

The hottest girls he was banging in that show.

Yeah.

I was in my teens back then, so that was like, you know.

I think that was on Sunday nights.

I love that show.

Yeah, Dreamon was a good show, man.

I love that show.

I almost forgot about that show.

I wonder if that's on DVD.

That's memories right there, man.

Larry Sanders' show was good.

No idea.

I haven't really thought about that show in a long time, but yeah.

Yeah.

Ariel says, when I log into my router modem, which one is it, NAT, WAN, or LAN?

NAT is your firewall.

NAT is where you do your port forwarding.

LAN would be your internal network, your 192.168.1, that whatever network.

That's your LAN, your local area network.

And WAN is your wide area network.

That would be basically your one connection that you have coming into your house,

your wide area network.

That would be basically your master IP address that, you know, the rest of the world sees.

So when you're logging into your router modem, I would suppose you would mean to say you're going to log into your LAN.

And you would log into your gateway address, which is probably going to be 192.168.1.1.

I'm not being paid for this, bitches.

This is what I do at work, so.

Brandis is 127.0.0.1.

That's right.

Or 10.0.0.1.

Depends on what class you're using.

All right.

There it is.

There you go.

Local Area Network's 101 there for you folks.

Hope you enjoyed that.

What else is a big one?

I had some more articles here.

Maybe we'll get, we talked about Kanye.

Oh, and one, before we do some prank calls here,

one last real quick story I wanted to mention.

You know we're big fans of RoboCop here.

You know I'm a big fan of RoboCop.

My favorite movie of the 80s

and probably one of my favorite movies of all time.

My guilty pleasure with the RoboCop series,

except for RoboCop 3.

But apparently, and I've called for this many times,

and this is announced back in...

Yeah, it was.

Plus, this is announced back in July.

There's a RoboCop remake finally coming out.

It's about damn time.

We've been long overdue for a RoboCop remake.

2010, apparently the director of Requiem for a Dream is just about signed on to do this.

So RoboCop is definitely back.

It's going to be awesome.

I might just get the old RoboCop movies in the TV show just to watch them before that comes out.

Looking forward to that.

So there we go.

So let's do some prank calls, folks.

That's what we're here for.

If you want to call us tonight, you can.

The toll-free line will be open.

That's 1-888-278-8509.

Again, you can reach us here tonight, toll-free, 1-888-278-8509.

If you're using AOL or Yahoo Instant Messenger, you can reach me here at Madhouse Radio.

Again, my screen name tonight, I am logged in currently, Madhouse Radio,

if you're using AOL or Yahoo Instant Messenger.

And also, if you're using MSN Messenger, madhouseatlive.com.

Once again, that's madhouseatlive.com for MSN Messenger users.

So there you go.

No excuse not to get a hold of me.

No excuse not to get involved tonight.

Is the music too loud, folks?

Let me know if I sound too loud or if the music is too loud or whatever it may be.

A little bit.

Is it really?

Hang on.

Let me go in there and boost that down a little bit.

It's definitely hot.

Yeah.

There we go.

That should be better.

All right.

There we go.

Testing, testing.

Testies, testies.

Eh.

Okay, good.

All right.

So, everybody.

Prank calls.

Lonesome Loser sent in a bunch of numbers.

We've got a working spoof card here.

Let's get to it.

We've got the French Continental Restaurant.

This was in Little Rock, Arkansas.

We also have, let's see what else.

We've got the Kim Son Chinese Vietnamese French Restaurant.

God, that's a lot to say.

That's a big, Chinese Vietnamese French.

That's got to be some interesting food.

We've got Le Bistro French Restaurant.

That's great, though.

Yeah, well, I guess.

I don't know.

I can't really say I've ever had French food.

Like, you hear so much about French food,

but what do they do other than pastries and stuff?

What's a French other than the bread?

They look great.

They have a lot of cream in it.

Yeah, they look great.

Yeah.

Cream and escargot, the stills, you know.

And cheese.

The stills, you know.

And every movie, TV show, it's the cheese, too.

Yeah.

Yeah, man.

All right, well, Zolar's God says they eat pigeon.

Fried wolf.

I'm a pretty guy, so I'm going to tell you.

That is sick.

Pigeon?

Yeah.

Oh, man.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that's right.

Pigeons are flying rats.

Quail and pigeons are flying rats.

That's nasty.

Why don't you just eat a rat?

Quail.

That's not nice to say to them.

Well, pigeons are nasty.

That's not nice to say to rats.

Leave rats out of it, man.

Shrimp and snail fried rice.

There you go.

Ooh, yeah.

There you go.

Shrimp and snail fried rice.

Well, we've got a German restaurant here also.

I was reading about Germany today on Wikipedia.

Chippewa Inn, Blue Heron Bistro, Country Burgers, Wellington Pub,

Pub, Peyton's Place, Kip's Restaurant.

God, we've got a lot of stuff here.

Let's just get to it, all right?

All right, so here we go.

The French, we're going to call it

Kim Son Chinese Vietnamese French Restaurant,

which kind of makes sense.

I mean, if you think about it,

Vietnam was a colony of France.

That's where that came from,

and China is next to Vietnam.

Yeah.

Is it Vietnam or Vietnam?

You've never had Vietnamese food?

You know, I never have.

Oh, whatever you want it to be.

It's what it is.

my uncle was in the war and he he called it vietnam he says vietnam not vietnam vietnam i

always run vietnam i don't know but uh no i've never had vietnamese food there's a there's a

few v there's a v there's a little vietnam a little saigon uh here in orlando on the main

road in downtown orlando there's a little section it's all vietnamese restaurants and stores and

and stuff like that.

And they've got a few that are really highly recommended.

And I know they do like these hot pots.

Like they have these hot pots that they throw a bunch of stuff in.

Yeah.

Yeah, I've heard good things, but I've never had it before.

You might want to check it out.

Miranda, and she's the host of the Freaking Geek Show,

which I used to make appearances on quite frequently.

I can't anymore because of my working and my life schedule.

And she's over at, oh, God, what's that damn station?

station. What was it called? WPRK,

right? WPRK. The damn station.

Rollins College. Yeah, Rollins College

WPRK. She's on every Monday

night, 1 to 3

a.m. Eastern Standard Time. Be sure to

check that. They do stream online.

They are a nerd

slash tech slash

you know,

our kind of crowd. They're on

a weekly basis. Monday, really late.

Be sure, and it's a good show.

I would love to make appearances on it.

Really late.

I think it's

WPRKDJ.com. They're on

Monday nights, really late, so be sure to check them out.

They're on Shoutcast as well. Be sure to throw

some support over there to

Dan and DJ. It's a good show.

I heard a few of them. Yeah, we had a good time there.

Try to get a better time for yourself.

You're a better eyes than the

late night. You got to move up, get some seniority.

No one's listening to you.

She's saying she wants one of my

I still owe her one of my

I did tell her a long time ago

I was going to give her one of the

Madhouse CDs and play on there.

I wrote a jackass CD, okay.

Yeah, play on the air at 3 a.m.

They won't know.

Fuck yeah.

Play those things in the center.

They won't know at 3 a.m.

Who cares, man?

What are they going to do?

Yeah.

Man, let's get out of here.

Let's do a prank call.

The Vietnamese, Chinese, French-Chinese restaurant.

Coming up in now.

Right now.

Yeah.

I really think I forgot how to do my show.

I forgot what buttons to push here.

Jeez.

You prank call people.

I gotcha.

Hello?

Hey, is this the French restaurant?

No, there's no Chinese restaurant here.

This is an old number.

Bye.

Hello, please don't hang up.

Oh, man.

Well, good work, lonesome loser.

Oh, wow.

Deep, deep, deep.

Yeah.

Please confirm that number, sir.

No.

He confirmed it.

Who served hamburgers last night?

It says right here, a woman answered.

Bye-bye now.

I'm going to call her back, as a matter of fact.

Let's see if she picks up the second time.

Sometimes they don't, you know.

We'll try.

Hello?

Yes, can I have a number 9 with egg roll, please?

This is not a Chinese restaurant.

It says right here in my paper, this is confirmed.

Woman answer, Chinese, French, Vietnamese restaurant.

Are you holding back on me because of my ethnicity?

Well, I made her laugh at least.

At least someone's laughing at that prank call.

You hear her?

She's like, Libyan is calling me for a number 9 with an egg roll.

She doesn't get mad.

How are we going to have prank calls if people don't get mad?

Yeah.

Nunu's here.

What's up, Nunu?

How you doing?

I used to have the old number for a black college.

A black college?

People always ask for Mohamed.

Black Collar.

Yeah.

Mohamedia.

We were talking about Mohamed.

Milkman, have you ever had Vietnamese food?

Well, you did, right?

You lived in L.A. for a little while.

I'm sure you hit up all those kind of restaurants over there, right?

There's a whole bunch of different kind of food out there.

Oh, yeah, man.

They got a little bit of everything out there.

It's good stuff.

Yeah, I did have Thai food for the first time about two years ago.

I got turned on to it.

Pad Thai.

They use a lot of milky stuff.

You know what I mean?

They got the white kind of sauce.

I like that.

I like white stuff.

Yeah, maybe you put some of it in there.

Some have it and some of it doesn't.

Maybe there's a peanut good with it.

But my favorite is the guy.

The southern guy, yeah.

It's actually pretty good.

Breaking news here from Nunu.

Actually, we're just finding out.

Milkman's fat.

I had no idea.

There we go.

Yeah.

Look out for that, everybody.

All right.

Okay, Milkman.

All fat tonight.

He's a wanker.

All right, so instead of that, let's go ahead and call the Le Bistro French restaurant.

This one is in Corvallis, Oregon.

Oregon, I, I, that's the state that I can't, I would never want to be able to say I live in Oregon.

It just sounds so pubic.

Oregon, Oregon, Oregon, Oregon.

Yeah, alright, hang on folks, we're going to do that.

I specifically said that my teeth are allergic to, who's in charge of cutting the meat over there?

Don't laugh.

I don't know how skilled they are if they did something like this.

Are they accredited?

During a recent screening, we noticed an issue.

Oh, fuck.

Oh no, they're here again!

No!

Oh, shit.

That is the new one.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

I'm using the new one.

They assured me this wouldn't happen anymore when I talked to them.

No, you are not.

Oh, God.

Talk to them now.

Yeah, that's great.

Beautiful.

Let's try it.

I think their customer service is closed.

Good night, everybody.

Thank you.

That's such an honor.

For those of you who are just not knowing what we're talking about here,

whoever doesn't know what we're talking about,

we use the spoof card system, which is very good for prank calls.

It lets us spoof our caller ID, gives us some anonymity.

But for the last three weeks at this point,

something happens with the card where it just cuts us off

and we need to talk to customer service to get it to work again.

And Hollywood and I both were able to fix that, what, two, three weeks ago.

Now it's happening again.

So let's see.

I doubt they're open now.

Your card for service.

This is going to suck.

I just bought this friggin' ass card.

I'm getting really tired of spoof cards.

Yeah, they're closed.

Bullshit.

God damn it.

God damn it, damn it, damn it.

Do you have to send me a notification or anything or email with that?

No.

Hollywood's sending me his number.

I know he fixed his.

Hollywood, if we can use yours, man, I'll give you my PIN number.

I just bought it today.

It's got 57 minutes on it.

We can trade, all right, man?

If that's okay with you, send me the high sign.

Here is mine.

He just sent me his.

All right, cool, cool.

We'll trade.

Me and Hollywood are going to trade cards.

pin number, so we should be okay for the night.

Alright, so we're going to call

instead, we're going to call the Rhinelander

German. We have screened him, too.

We have screened

Harley's vagina, as well. Yeah, they're going to

screen all of us.

Alright, hang on, folks. We're calling a

German restaurant now. Let's take it easier.

Hang on. It's going to take

a little longer. I need to

say the new pin number and the speed dial.

Give me a moment. We'll have the Germans on the line here.

The Krauts. No offense, Germans out there.

I want to apologize for offending all our German-American listeners and listeners in Germany.

I'd like to apologize for the insensitivity of our actions of my last week.

We did kick your ass, though. Twice.

Hey, don't make fun of Jim.

He's British.

Together, we get paid a full, full, full.

He's not lying.

He's embarrassed of being British, but he is.

He's a frickin' spy.

I talked to him the other day.

He's going to be so excited.

Why?

So I need more kids.

So I thank baby and things I did.

I used to...

I feel like that might have been a good prank call, too.

That French one we just asked, dude.

I got my voice changed.

I haven't used to you yet tonight.

I'm kidding, man.

I'm sorry, I had a frog in my throat.

Is this the German restaurant?

Do you have, like, the...

I'm sorry, I almost said the bad thing.

Do you have, like, the sausages there?

Yeah.

What did you think I was going to say?

I thought you were going to say something, so I was just imagining what you might say.

Well, I was reading a pamphlet about German food, and it had the W word in it.

But it's not really, like, modeled after that.

I mean, this is more like a sausage, right?

It's pretty close, yeah.

Really?

It's pretty scary.

Because my wife, she seems to think that I might be homosexual, kind of.

and I mean

it was just

I had this conversation

once

I went on this

website

and I was just

I didn't do anything

but I did trade pictures

but she's always

hounding me about this

and then the other day

I was eating a hot dog

you know like a

Coney Island hot dog

and she said

oh you probably like it

don't you

you like it

huh

you like it

so I mean

do manly men

go in there and eat

the

I mean Germans

are not

into that kind of

I mean I could go in there

and not be ashamed

in front of other men

and eat one of those things

right

Oh.

I mean, if, I mean, can I cut it with a knife?

I mean, is that normal?

Or is there a protocol where you're supposed to eat it the long way like a sword?

Like a sword swallow?

I mean, is there...

I would say once it's on your table, you can do whatever you want with it.

Okay, could I perhaps?

I mean, would it be bad if I...

Like a sword swallower, he takes it, you know, all the way down to the back of the throat.

I mean, it's nothing.

I'm not trying to be phallic about it.

I'm just making sure to see if it hits the back of my throat.

I've been working on the gag reflex.

To cut it up into little pieces, son.

Okay.

Okay. Would you think that'd be better?

I should start small?

I mean, there's nothing wrong with a man.

Like, there's manly men out there, men's men that go down there,

and they eat the wieners and nothing, like, no one makes assumptions or takes pictures.

They might.

Well, maybe. I mean, there are manly men that go down there.

I mean, big, kind of, like, yeah?

Do they have, like, yeah?

Do any of them have, like, hairy arms and stuff?

Older gentlemen? Yeah?

I might be interested in this.

Could you put me down for three spaces, please?

Are all three of them you?

you? Yeah, for me. I'm a large gentleman. That's fine. Okay. Now, what I want, between

me and you, when my wife calls, I'm not there, you don't know who I am. Okay. And if anything,

if she goes into the whole gay thing, then me and you are having an affair, you know?

Yeah. Do you like to eat wieners? All the time. Really? All the time. I work in a German

restaurant, of course I do. Have you ever played, you know, Fight for the Salami before

with another girl? No. Do you know how to do that? I think I have. Well, see, what

What you do, you and another girl, you get down on your knees,

and a man stands in front of you,

and between the two of you, you fight for his attention if you catch my grip.

I do.

Yeah?

Would you entertain that thought ever?

I mean, I know maybe I'm coming a little forward with you,

but since we've been having a sexual conversation since we started,

I thought maybe I'd go for it.

I'm just wondering if...

Are you wondering if it is...

Honey, honey, listen.

No, there's no friends.

No one's...

Is this me and you?

And I know what you're wondering, and it's true.

It sounds like I have an 8-inch penis, and you're absolutely right.

Yes, I do.

That was what you were going to ask, right?

No?

Yeah.

I would shave.

I would shave it for you if you'd like.

Horrible.

No, you'd like it hairy, or do you not find it more appetizing?

Okay.

How do you prefer your men?

Does it really make it look bigger if it's shaved?

No, it makes it look...

Oh, what about, like, do you want the big bush, though?

Yeah.

Really?

But it gets in your teeth and all that, sweetie.

Fine.

So you must not shave down there either, huh?

Tell me, tell me.

Okay, who are you going to call after I hang up on you?

Coming up next is the Chippewa Inn in Hayward, Wisconsin.

A woman acts her there at 10, 10 p.m.

Well, you have fun with it.

You're on 98.6 The Mouth, sweetie.

You're on 98.6 The Mouth.

Yeah, how are you doing tonight?

I win.

Yes, no, we don't have any prizes or anything like that.

See, I was going to play the sound effect for you, stupid cunt.

Oh, bitch, that was stupid anyway.

Anyway, God, man, I really have lost my game.

If anybody has any suggestions as far as, you know, the vehicle I'm getting.

I've been a Honda fan for a long time.

Now, Fina and her family, they're Toyota fans.

For the most part, the prices between the two are the same.

A Corolla and a Civic are really in the same price range.

I know they're both reliable vehicles.

Is there anything, does anybody, can anybody offer a bit of advice in choosing between a Toyota?

I find Toyotas are uglier than Hondas.

I see, yeah, BMW, yeah, already, I'm right, yeah, the Corolla, yeah, but the Honda's like

nice, they're nice looking cars, you know, compared to the Corolla, the Toyota cars are,

they look kind of like, like they're pregnant, you know, a Honda looks nice and sleek and

Japanese, yeah, leaks oil, leaks oil and gets in a car accident, it's a good point, thank

you, Tuck, yeah, yeah, you know, right now I'm driving, I'm driving my dad's car, which

which he bought new in 1995.

It's a 96 Toyota Corolla,

and it runs better than my Honda Accord was running a few months ago.

The AC is definitely better.

My car isn't that bad, though.

Reclude's here.

All right, Reclude, saving the day.

Reclude.

There's Dad.

Did you hear?

What's going on, man?

You're up, aren't you?

Something like that.

How you doing, man?

You sound a little surly tonight.

What's going on?

This morning, because I'm all about the new shit.

So I was, like, kind of dealing with that, so I fucking got up.

Wait a minute, Reckless.

So you're all about the 9-11 shit, so you woke up and you took shrooms?

Yeah, I just wanted to kind of get it out of my mind.

So you're done with that?

No.

So, but it was cool, so fucking it worked out good.

That's good.

So I took fucking shrooms, and it was all great.

Yeah?

How do you do it?

Do you make a tea?

Do you make a Kool-Aid?

You know, how do you do that?

I never have.

Um, well, this one fucking broad was, like, Jenny's goddamn, she already had it.

She had something.

Fucking, I let other people.

Right.

I just let people make, I don't like buying.

It's, like, the easiest.

Andy.

Like, fudge.

It was, like, a piece of.

Nice.

So I just drank it down with some shit real quick.

It didn't taste bad.

I didn't taste it.

Shit was, shit was real nice.

Lasts a long time, right?

Because you're kind of eating it, kind of stays in your system for a long ass time.

Yeah, it lasted several hours.

Okay, cool.

So, I mean, it was on it.

Do you drive a car?

Do you own a car?

Yeah.

Yeah?

Would you recommend a Honda over a Toyota?

Like, if I had to buy a new car this weekend, what would you recommend?

Any idea?

I don't know.

I think, I mean, I don't really, I never owned a, I owned a Honda.

It was alright.

Yeah?

It did its job, and the parts are cheap for it and shit, because there's so many of them.

That's right, exactly, yeah.

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking I'm going to do.

I don't know, I'll just get one of them motherfuckers.

Let's get whatever, as long as it gets to where you need to fucking go, right?

We'll fucking kill you.

Yeah, just get one of them.

Yeah, I mean, one of those two should be fine.

I don't know how it's worth.

I know that I'm in a Honda.

I don't have to do shit.

Yeah, man, I got in a car accident.

I got a check.

And I'm going to, instead of fixing the car, I'm just going to get a new car, man.

The car I have now, it's a 99.

It's all old.

It's leaking oil.

I think it blew a head gasket.

I think it's time, man.

It's time to let it go.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, fuck it, dude.

Get them motherfuckers up there.

Fuck yeah.

Hell yeah.

I'm going to send you some numbers, all right?

You see them?

Let's see here.

By the way,

Ecclude's on the line here.

Talented prank caller.

Madhouse VIP.

I know you all know who he is.

I actually had one of your prank calls

on deck to play tonight

on the break, man.

You didn't even know.

Oh yeah, what's that?

That one,

the Queen Mother's Day.

We haven't played it

in about a few months now.

Sweet, man.

Yeah, dude,

I've made the best pranks ever,

but I was so fucked up

I didn't record it

because I get the inspiration,

but it's like such a hassle

to hook up around here

because I wish I had

a simple way to do it.

Spoof card, man.

It does it right for you.

That's why.

So he called up, dude.

Dude, it was fucking big.

Dude, we called them, like, Kinko's.

I pranked them so much.

Get off.

Yeah, you got to prank them.

What?

You got to think for Kinko's, don't you?

You prank them a lot.

Yeah, well, here's the deal.

Here's why they're perfect.

Right.

Number one, the ones I call 24 hours a day.

And that's, they're a little bit like Waffle.

It's one of those dumb plays.

Right.

In a bar, nobody wants to play a Zoom.

It's one of those plays, you know, that's, I don't know.

I mean, now, I'm probably going to never.

So, what it is, that shit.

My mind's always going on this shit the last couple of days.

so I called him up

from that

gay guy

called up

but I was like

I told him

they gave me

lopsided business cards

and then the fucking

clerk told me

that the Jews

did World Trade Center

he did that

he said that

what

clerk

oh that you said

no no

I just made this shit up

I thought he said that

I was like

that bitch

he made that shit up

a fucking Jew

building 7

do you honestly think

that building 7

was done by my people

that's bullshit

I'm not gonna

and I had her so

fuckery dude

I was like

I kept on just

I don't know

let's try to do that

Actually, I want to do the same prayer.

I'm going to try.

Even though it's not going to be the same, that's what we need to do.

That's what we need to do.

Let me get you enough.

Because, I mean, you can call those all night, and nobody gives a fuck.

And plus, the people they hire that do the late shifts are always weird-ass.

Yeah, like losers.

Yeah, I know.

They're, like, just pushing paper all day and shit, you know?

Yeah, I remember there was this one motherfucker when I was in Akron.

He was such a sucker, and then I seen his ass at a bar playing with a dude.

dude i just did nothing but heckle his stupid ass oh my god i just kept on goes kinkos yeah

man kinkos rocks the guy was like pissed oh man ruined his whole show the whole kinkos thing good

man good ruin that it's funny but here's uh let me let me do this to you i think in the meantime

well let me just do this for you here's this one easy number and then there's one more oh that is

an easy number look at that i love that yeah it's fucking it's another thing they always have easy

easy number. Here's another one. This is actually this one I'm about to send you. These two,

man. And you know what's funny is, Ken, she can get away with it. They're so dumb at night,

I just, I'm like the other, if they ask for a number, I'll give them like the other store's

number. They must call each other. I've never seen a number that's all zeros at the end.

That's the first time. Yeah, it's them fucking, I don't know, they're fucking, they got tracers.

Yeah, well, say what's up. Laura's going to be leaving. Hey, bye, Laura. Nice to see

Bye honey girl

Sweetie

So who's that broad

She's just some lady

She's usually on cam

Not on cam now

But she's chatting with us

She's heading out

On the cam huh

Yeah

There's a girl on cam

She's going to syndicate man

She's got the girl on cam

Ferry

She's over there

She's playing with her hair

Eating lollipops

Live on the cam

Telling you

Oh yeah

Yeah

She's going to eat a banana later too

That's always fun

Banana eating ladies

Yeah man

You know what I mean right

When you see a woman

Eating a banana

You take notice right

Well yeah

It depends who

If it's a fog, I'd look away, but...

Oh, nice looking.

Off-broad, yeah.

Yeah, man.

Speaking of which, man, I'm telling you,

I was doing the wedding planning, man.

I got big for a nice bachelor party.

We got to make it happen.

You're definitely invited if you can make the trip.

It's going to be in Pennsylvania in May.

End of May.

I think there's a lot of syndicate listeners

who live near Pennsylvania or around there.

Maybe we can do a big get-together or something like that.

That'd be kind of cool.

Oh, sweet.

Yeah, who's all coming?

Milkman's in a wedding.

I know that.

He's actually going to be in it.

I know the Dead's going to come, DTT's going to come,

Zolar and Lego said in the past that they want to come.

So I'm sure there's going to be a lot.

There's a lot of people who said they're going to come.

So Lonesome Loser is going to be there, too, as a matter of fact.

He lives in Philadelphia.

I'm sorry to blow up a spot.

He lives in Pennsylvania where we're going to do the show.

We're going to do this big bachelor party show on a Friday or Saturday

or something like that.

So is it by Philadelphia?

Where are you going to?

Well, the wedding is going to be, like, in the Lancaster area, like the Amish country kind of area,

but the party, the show, is probably going to be in Philly, because it didn't...

Okay, Philadelphia. Yeah, dude, we'll see what I can... I mean, by May, I don't know where the fuck I'm going to be at, but I'll try, you know what I'm saying?

I might be in fucking Europe, who knows?

Who knows, man.

But yeah, if I'm around, you know what I'm saying, I'll definitely hang through on that.

We're going to get a banana show going on for that, that's going to be awesome.

Girl making the banana disappear, you know what I'm saying?

What the fuck?

You know you'd want it. You'd know you'd pay money to see a banana show.

Uh...

Interesting you should say that.

You've done it.

Let's talk a quick story.

Alright, I'm not gonna...

Actually, I took a trip to the military.

Fucking drugs.

That fucker could've done shrooms.

Do they test you regularly for that shit when you're in the army?

Dude, the fucking fire department was fucking on drugs or some shit, cause I was acting on it.

He said,

It's like, do you think I'm gonna let you give me a piss while you were fucking doing drugs?

You were already taking the fizzling bags.

Yeah dude

They don't tell you

The military

You don't have

Like if you have

Weed in your

Dude they'll

Fucking court

Marshal you

Oh that's

Bullshit

And it's

So anyway

In Amsterdam

We went to

This place

Called the

Banana bar

And yeah

It was a little

More than

I'm sorry

I'm a little

Bit

As of

What I've

Seen

Oh man

What's a

Banana

Well what do

You think

It fucking

What

Sounds crazy

There was one

Of the hottest

Broads I've ever

Seen in my

Entire life

And it

Disgusted me

I fucking

Yelled at

one i'm like you dumb bitches so pissed off because i i couldn't get high all it was still

steady it was sober dude i had a great time though except for that that pissed me it puts you you

gotta like they have these weird little things where they get tourists like hey to get in the

bar a certain amount weird and fucking dude it was fucking and i was like and then they wanted

me to pay i'm gonna find you goddamn post this is bullshit for that shit yeah what's the point

i was like still thought that pretty pissed off i had to go to amsterdam i couldn't do any weed

eat her shrooms

or nothing like that

that'd be yeah

yeah I remember

I had to go to a cafe

to see it

and I just went off

on this fucking kid

it was

it was my

went off

because he was all like

ooh hi

and she was like

get the mother

sitting there having

like a whiskey

or some shit

and I had this

cocksucker all fucking high

like ooh

look at me

and the shit is

I hear they're getting

rid of the cafes

and all that stuff

over there anyway

they're all going away

eventually

slowly but surely

they said they're gonna

they're trying to

push them out of there

they're making little rules

here and there

you can't smoke

and have food

and you can't have

have smoked and clothed and shit, yeah, so. That's going to pin off, dude, back over there.

Yeah. So now, fuck that place. We've got to do it now. Tourism's going to go down a little

bit. Yeah, oh, yeah, most definitely, yeah, I mean, what's the point? But from what I

hear, Amsterdam is actually, like, outside of the tourist area, it's pretty shady. I

understand. They make it sound all good and this and that, but when you get outside of

the tourist area, they say it's pretty crappy. Really? Yeah, so someone was telling me that

they went to Amsterdam once, and they strayed off the beaten path of the Red District and

And all that

The red light district

And it was kind of

Kind of freaky

They said

Dude

There's a lot of Africans there

And stuff like that apparently

Are you serious

Yeah

Oh yeah

See you have to get with a broad

As soon as I got up

They were coming from

A fucking carnival

Up in Rotterdam

Another city up there

Right

And man

Them broads were great

They took me to their

Fucking home

Set there

I had a beer

It was nice dude

Right off

I got a fuck on the train

And I was going like

Amsterdam and the airport

Are really opposite ways

So I was going across

The countryside

I'm looking out

And I see these

Fucking windmills

and shit.

Oh, sweet.

I'm like,

where the fuck am I at?

And I get off

and these two broads

are like,

oh, they just said

that shit.

It was fucking badass.

That's nice, cool.

So they took me

to different places in town.

It was like shit

I probably normally

wouldn't have seen.

Yeah.

You know,

oh, dude is good.

Anywhere he goes,

he gets crazy shit.

Dream, man.

So.

All right, let's go.

Which one do you want to call?

The first one

or the second one?

Oh, it doesn't matter, dude.

They're both cool.

We're going to call

the one in Columbus,

all right?

FedEx Kinko's coming up,

Everybody, this is Reclude here, and we're going to do a thing.

Hi.

Now FedEx Office.

This is Robin.

How may I help you?

Wait a minute.

What was that?

FedEx Kinko's.

I got the, what is it, Kenny Road?

Yes.

Well, I got a huge issue.

Who's got working in the daytime as far as me?

Well, there's a couple assistant managers, and then there's a store manager.

Yeah, you got some African-American fellow work during the daytime over there?

You got some African, maybe a little bit Asian, working on there in the daytime?

No.

Okay, it might be the wrong store then.

and CERN or two, with you and your people and anti-Semitic remarks.

No, we're going to deny it because I've got some printing I need done.

We're going to work out a deal because that's another thing, is they smeared that color.

A picture, took some glamour shots, that's what I do for a living.

I'm a photographer, glamour shots, smeared the color.

And that's what I had done on Kenny Road.

So I'm going to bring them to the city.

So I'm going to bring them up and show you where it's smeared.

I wonder if that's the problem

print job that we did we can get a hold of the manager

tomorrow no no no either but let me tell you what's going on there's a convention

tomorrow at that we're gonna need to do I ain't got tomorrow we got to get up

you don't say or no I got to get down there tonight I mean we got to figure

or something like that.

I mean, them are smeared.

Ordered tonight, but unfortunately...

I ain't paying for that.

I mean, I'll go back.

I used to do that in school.

I mean, I can go back there.

It ain't that...

I need them things tonight.

Y'all smeared them.

Y'all use them inkjet printers?

Because laser printers ain't supposed to smear like that, are they?

Don't.

We do not use inkjet printers.

Okay, well, say you got a glossy,

because we got, like, you know, 8x10s,

tens and that's what we're selling it was the model luke i said he's a plus size model and

the left side sheet that either that's why i mean what would this be like no lord no we're

going to take care of this tonight i mean i can't deal with this another day we need to speak to

no i'll tell you what i'm nobody gonna sit there and talk about somebody in the afternoon you know

what they said that my said about me something about appreciate that done that's that's another

thing at least i can get i mean i know i'm gonna get some money out of it i know i'm gonna get

some money out of it i tell you what is that what's going to happen i'm just getting those

and i ain't paying a dime for them i'll come down there

for them or wait until tomorrow when you can manage her right now

do you know what that person said okay well i'll tell you what they're horrible i never heard

nobody i would have had to do it again you know i would i would not like to hear but i guess there's

nothing i could do because i didn't ask the guy to say something he just took one look at her and

and said, well, what do you mean?

Them people are responsible for Building 7.

Oh, but if you call and speak with our manager, he can situation you.

Building 7, you know what, I'll look it up on the internet.

If there's anything else I can do for you.

Something you can do for me.

I've got to ask you a price on something.

For what?

He told me, Building 7, and I looked it up on the internet, and that was World Trade Center.

He basically said my mom would appreciate that.

You can't do anything about it.

No, I'll tell you what, I'm going to get a lawyer down there.

I am my picture marriage.

I'll show you.

All right.

Now, you'll have to speak to a manager.

Well, you're just writing on one of them receipts there.

Give them a rain check or something.

I've got to get in there.

That stuff is smeared.

I've got a convention tomorrow.

Okay, sir.

We're going to have a booth.

So I might need to run and get some supplies.

That's all the way downtown.

I'm not sure exactly what we're going to do about that.

But I tell you what, I don't appreciate that Building 7.

I'll tell you who it was.

It was that old mama.

That wasn't my model.

It was a Jew.

She's gone.

That's funny.

Did you just say that you would hang out?

We're all like crazy people coming and calling Kinko, you know?

Honestly, like, I kind of wanted a call back.

Best part is the fact that she's like, you're like, she said something, he said something really nasty.

You want to hear what it was?

You know what he said?

It's like, well, Tracy, she was just a dope.

Those people are so dumb.

I think she just...

No, that sounds like a legitimate call you would give to Kinko.

It doesn't matter.

Let's call the other one.

This one.

No, we should talk.

You remember that?

We just talked to him.

Remember that fucking broad name?

If you remember what that lady's name is, someone let us know.

God, yeah.

And the next, let me look at the chat room for a little bit, dude.

Yeah, maybe, maybe.

If we got that, then I'm going to call up.

Bitch, y'all are up.

Hey, you what?

She said, building seven.

I said, of course she's going to answer.

We should call, we should call back.

I'm just going to get her name.

She won't know my number.

I'll spoof it as a different number.

I mean, she won't know my voice.

I'll ask her.

I'm like, who's this?

No, if it's someone else, who's that lady who just picked up the phone over there?

They'll tell me.

Don't worry about it, man.

Okay, yeah.

We can spoof as a store.

We can spoof as the other store, too.

Yeah, yeah, you can do it as the other store.

Yeah, there you go.

All right, hang on.

Let's try that.

We'll get the name and then we'll call the other place.

I'm sorry, is this Robin?

Yes.

Robin, did I leave my USB drive over there?

It looks like you did.

Where did you leave it here?

It looks like a USB drive, it's small, and on the one hand it has this light, and on the top it says SanDisk.

And on the other hand it has this thing, and you put it in the USB, and it goes boop boop, and then it goes in.

And then the files go from the drive, and you put them in the computer.

So what color, and where did you leave it, and when?

And then I left click like this, and then it comes on the screen, and then you make the file.

Well, the printer goes in this, like this, the paper, I make the paper come out.

Who is this?

This is Robin.

When did you leave this jump drive here?

Maybe earlier today, I don't know.

Okay, and what color is it primarily, and what size is it?

Maybe it's white.

Maybe it's white?

Yeah.

Do you have anything in the lost and found?

That's it, that's mine, that's mine, that's the one that the guy said.

That's mine, the one, yeah, that's my USB drive, give it to me.

What one?

The one that I lost.

I don't know, I haven't looked in the lost and found yet.

Yeah, I need to know these things up.

Do you have the combination to the USB drive box?

I'm sorry?

Do you have the combination to the USB?

The combination to the USB drive box?

Yes.

Or you put the USB drives that people forgot and that you people keep,

and then you sell them again in the new package.

Okay, so what color is your jump drive?

It's white, maybe.

White, yeah.

Maybe or no?

Is it black?

Is it white?

Is it red?

Is it blue?

What color is it?

And I need to know what size it is.

What color you have.

Maybe it's white.

No, no, no.

I'm sorry, sir.

That's not the way it works, because there are many people that leave their jump tries here on accident.

Huh?

And we only go by what they tell us it looks like.

Well, I need...

Because if I say it looks like this, you say, oh, yeah, that's not yours.

You understand?

I need, like, a one gigabyte drive.

You need one, or you have one that's lost?

Well, it's lost.

I need it back.

Okay.

Well, you can come in, because we have several.

That's mine.

Give it now.

Sir, you can come in and take a look at it.

No, no.

Tell us.

No, you need to give it.

Did you find, did you tell me yes or no?

We have several jump drives.

You have all, you have several of my jump drives.

Okay, I want to come, and I would like you to give me my USB drives.

Okay, you can come in and tell us you have your jump drive locked here,

and then we'll give it to you, okay?

Pamela, Pamela, hello, Pamela?

It was Robin, we got her name, good.

That was kind of hard.

Yeah, I was like, Robin, it's Robin.

Robin, no failure pointers.

She's like a new weekly target.

Yeah.

She's a trip, man.

She just falls right in for it, doesn't she?

Listen, Robin, I'm going to come down there.

You have no idea.

I'm a gay man.

I'll tell you what.

I like them tits.

You get those big knockers.

I like them tits.

You're working all night.

I'm going to be down there.

Trust me.

Who did the prank about the knockers?

Was that you?

Yeah, maybe.

I think you did a prank where you called about the woman with the knockers.

Yeah, that was me.

It was you, though.

No, that's right.

Be the girl with the biggest triple D.

Something like that.

That's it, yeah.

You got a little upset.

Alright, alright.

FedEx Kinkos in Westerville, Ohio.

Hang on.

Let's play that Dr. Dre song down here.

Don't go anywhere.

Yeah, I'm dealing with an issue that you people cause me.

Oh, 7 Cleveland Avenue.

Why stop by?

Starting your account.

Are you kidding me?

Have your PIN ready.

And contact.

I used the wrong PIN number.

That's it.

it off it's been happening with my spoof cards and just till accident all right yeah i gotta i

can't log into mine remember that it just won't let me it's weird really dude they've been messing

up lately shit all right and i emailed them i didn't fucking yeah they're fucking assholes

yeah hang on don't go anywhere we're gonna call it again that's my fault my bad my bad i use no

problem i got i got news too to tell you all about i haven't talked about it yet but some

Some pretty interesting news about what else, a lot that's happened since the last show we did.

Nothing bad, nothing good.

Oh, that's pretty bad, actually.

FedEx office, this is Carly to help me help you.

What's going on? What happened with the phone?

Oh, can you hear me? Can you hear me?

Shit is going on, man.

Fuck, let me try it again.

It was like, it's like...

Call a different one.

Yeah, I guess so.

This line is breaking up for some reason.

Yeah, that was weird.

You placed a call.

Let me try to dial it again.

This, this spoof card, I'm going to start, I'm going to have to find another spoof card.

There's another one out there called spoof tell.

I think I'm going to mic switch to them because this one here has been sucking me.

Oh, that's the one.

I use SpoofTel all the time.

They're great.

I'm going to start using them because this SpoofCard thing is messing up a lot with me.

No, SpoofTel is great.

I use that about a billion times.

It's really...

The only thing you've got to do is you've got to wait until she's done talking to put in the numbers or what.

That's annoying.

On SpoofTel, it's really weird.

But other than that, it's, like, beautiful.

Cool.

I'm going to look into it.

I'm getting tired of the SpoofCard people.

Hang on.

I got mad.

You swear that your staff about to get hyped

I should have just listened to the man on the mic

This is the Head Start

This is the FedEx office, this is Laura, how may I help you?

Hello, you got the phones fixed over there yet?

I can hear you

Oh wonderful, what's going on with the phones over there?

I'm sure you're the one that I was speaking to when the phone went dead, is that you?

Yeah, things keep on happening, I mean

And that's kind of strange, coincidental

What do you mean?

With your company

Well why don't you tell me about it?

Okay, wonderful. Well, here's the problem.

I was in there one afternoon a couple days ago when I was, because I've been busy like crazy preparing for this convention in town.

And it's basically a plus-size model deal where I was making a bunch of 8x10s.

Well, the guy kind of, you know what I'm saying, the guy, I was afraid he'd have an issue with it, and he didn't.

So we do went and printed them off.

Now, the problem is I put them in the case and they smeared a little bit.

And, I mean, I'll just go deal with it.

I mean, there's an offensive problem.

Usually what I'm going to do is, because I've been working like crazy,

I've got to come down here now and take care of this.

Because we've got to get up at 730, be down at the Hyatt downtown there,

and set up an end, and we're going to be selling photos.

And that's why, I mean, that's the main reason I'm down there.

We've got a couple of models taking pictures.

But basically we need them prints, and they done smeared.

Okay, well, our inks don't smear.

We don't use ink, we use toner, so they should not have smeared.

But bring one in there, maybe we can take a look at it.

Yeah, I mean, I'll show them to you.

I mean, it was done in the Kinko's.

I mean, it just looks like it smeared.

Maybe it didn't print right or something.

I don't know what happened to it.

But, yes, why sure.

Eight by ten, but here's, well, there's a deeper issue.

See, this is just the first, first issue.

And I want to take care of it, because I didn't know there was going to be a manager over there and stuff.

But, uh, I talked to somebody at the workshop about one of my models.

I don't appreciate news.

I'm going to have to call and talk to the office right now.

I just need to handle this the fastest way possible.

But, uh, we're going to have to talk to a management or something.

You got any manager in there?

Okay, one.

Well, I can tell you all about it.

Isn't there a person that was helping you?

No, I was kind of in a rush trying to get stuff.

I just dropped it off.

I had one of my models, uh, one of my models help me.

And, uh, basically, I think she took care of it.

I can't remember when, but basically when I gave him the picture.

I think I dropped it off.

Somebody else picked it up.

I can't remember.

I was in a hurry.

I had to get this.

I had to get all sorts of stuff.

But basically what happened, he started getting offensive.

He seen my model, you know.

I thought he was going to, because they kind of, I mean, they're not nude, but they're kind of, you know, they got lingerie on and stuff.

I just wanted to make sure it was okay.

He said, yeah, that's fine.

And because it's actually Jewish.

And he made some comments.

Well, some anti-Semitic remarks.

I mean, it's horrible.

I mean, I wish he just would have said something, a word or one.

I'd still be angry, but he said something a little deeper than that.

What do we know that the person in the picture was a Jew?

Oh, she has a, well, actually, she had a little Star of David down there.

That's why.

She has it right next to her name, like on the pictures.

You know how every model's got a little bit of title.

She had it right next to her name, a little blueprint there.

But, like, yeah, I said, I said, yeah, she's a beauty, ain't she?

And he said something like, Building 7.

I said, what do you mean, Building 7?

You know what Building 7 is, ma'am?

Yeah, what you're saying.

Building 7, I said, well, what are you talking about?

He said, well, he goes, you know 9-11?

I said, yeah.

He goes, well, that was what they caused.

I don't know what you're talking about.

No, he said, it's building collapsed.

Building 7 collapsed, Sid, and he explained something to me.

He told me this.

I said, look, buddy, I have nothing to do with your family.

You don't know who you were talking to.

Broomneck kid, I think.

I just came in real fast.

How many days ago you came in?

Oh, it was about three or four.

Because I've been going to this stuff, and I thought everything was done,

and that's why i looked at my stuff did you come in over the weekend or during the week oh no i

came in probably i think monday or tuesday maybe actually because it had to be a weekday i didn't

come in a week because i do i do the business i think i ain't messing around in the weekend but

yes so he didn't believe he said that i said isaiah we gotta i just want to make sure i heard

what he said he said yay you ever seen a there's a film called loose change on the internet easy

Easy people, them conspiracy theorists and stuff like that.

He told me, he said, them people caused the building 7 to fall.

There was gold underneath it or something.

He was telling me all sorts of stuff.

I said, buddy, you better not be talking to me like that.

What did that have to do with the pictures of the mock views?

No, because he tried to say them Jews did it.

She was Jewish, and he tried to say, well, them Jews did World Trade Center.

I said, well.

So you're saying you came in with them?

By God, they were Muslims.

They were Arab.

have nothing to say he saw that star david he just came out he's racist anti-semitic and he

started going off by the basement and jews gold under the world trade center told me all sorts

of want to hear that sort of stuff number one i'm in a hurry and number two i don't appreciate

so what's going on is i'll be in there tonight we got to get them prints care of they done

smurred so well wait a minute wait a minute you say you're their manager and why would you hire

somebody like that don't you have no process down there to let anybody you all them racist

people down there. I heard stories about being racist and stuff in there too, but I didn't think

anything of it. I'm wondering what kind of people, what kind of people you got working down there.

We're there, three here, right now, and she was a dark-skinned care, but you know, just racism.

Yeah, my name is Vance. What's your phone number, sir? Number is four. One of our Kinko's locations.

Huh? What are you talking about? The Kenny Road location is 326-6000. I'll be damned. No, that's

614.

What would you like me to do about this issue?

Well, I'm pretty much going to come over there.

I'm going to call police.

I don't know what I'm going to do yet, but I need to get them prints right now.

We'll deal with that later.

But, I mean, I'm about to fight and appreciate it.

I got to try to call what the hell over there.

She got, she got.

I got to go crazy in there.

I will.

I mean, I'm going to use that shit for free.

I ain't, I ain't messing around at this point.

I'm getting.

Sir, state it if you would not use the four-letter words, okay?

What, what four-letter words?

Well, the one that you just used.

We'd be glad to come and help you with that.

What was that?

Remember where I just, you guys got me so mad.

I'm going to come up there, I'm going to work all that equipment up.

If it don't work, I'm going to get angry.

I might have to get one of them computers and get it running.

Because, I mean, I'll get my models up there, too, because I ain't putting up with that.

Neither will we.

So if you want to come in, we'd be glad to assist you.

So I can run them color copiers, because I know I can run it faster than y'all, so.

Come in.

So I'm going to come in and, I mean, because I'll get, you know what I'm saying, I'll just come right behind you.

You'll see me.

Gas station hat on, button-up shirt, black button-up sleeve shirt.

You're going to see me.

I'm just going to come right behind the counter.

What do you mean by coming behind the counter?

Well, I've got to take care of business.

What do you mean by taking care of business?

Well, I've got them smeared prints.

I'm just going to take care of it.

I know how to run a lot of washing.

I'm just going to come take care of it, get out of your hair, you know, so you don't have to mess with it.

And you don't have to ring nothing up.

I'm just going to get back there and take care of it.

Okay, well, bring in the bad prints and bring in your receipt, and we'll be glad to help you out.

All right.

You guys still got that inkjet down there, that color one?

We do not have any inkjets here.

We have a Sony picture station, and everything else that we have is like...

Wait a minute.

Somebody printed these off on there.

They said an inkjet or something.

I think that's why it's smeared.

Y'all print enough stuff on inkjets down there?

We have no inkjets in the whole store.

All right.

I do not have a single inkjet here that we would have printed eight by tons on.

Uh-huh.

Well, I can run them lasers.

That's fine.

I'll just come down here and run them lasers.

So if you see me, don't get alarmed, because I'm just going to be behind the counter.

I'm just going to go back and do it.

I'm not even going to ask.

When you say behind the counter, do you mean back where co-workers are, or do you mean outside?

Well, yeah, back by there where the machines are.

I'm just going to run them machines.

Okay.

Because I know how to use them, and I mean.

If you're a geek, we can give you credit for those bad copies.

Yeah, but I'm just going to run it.

I don't want to mess around with that.

I'm just going to, I want to run the machines myself this time, make sure it doesn't smear.

What's your name again?

My name is Laura, and when do you think you'll be in?

I'm going to be in about 15 minutes, honey.

My name is Laura, sir.

Okay, now, yeah, all right.

I mean, we didn't really get anything resolved.

I'm kind of upset about that, too.

Well, I'm not sure what you want me to do.

Well, I mean, fire somebody.

Ain't nobody talk to me like that.

I'm going to sue them.

Okay, well, then...

I'm going to sue everybody.

I'm going to come down here and raise hell and bullshit.

If you're threatening us, then that's not...

I ain't threatening nothing.

I'm just going to yell and holler a little bit and get my, I'm going to go back down and do my prints.

I'm going to holler up the storm.

No yelling, no hollering.

No, I mean, you ain't got to be calling anti-Jews to people, you know.

I mean, that's what happens.

You can't be doing that, you know what I'm saying, especially around 9-11.

You know, people still heard off of that.

You can't be doing that stuff, saying that's kind of a mess.

Okay, sir, we'd be glad to help you with your copies, but I'm not going to discuss this with you right now, okay?

We'd be glad to help you with your copies over for you.

Building 7 ain't that far.

You know damn well there ain't no gold under Building 7.

I'm not going to go there.

You guys are crazy.

I mean, that looks like a demolition team took care of it.

That's evil.

I don't know what happened.

I think that's Al-Qaeda.

I'll cover that one, sir.

I think, yeah.

You want to come in and make some copies and collect?

Oh, you agree.

I know you agree, but I don't know why y'all, why do y'all agree with him?

Just Osama, that's all it is.

Osama and his, he had them people fly them planes.

I don't appreciate it.

Or something, one.

The answer?

Well, no, I'm going to be in real soon.

I'm going to come in right now because I've got to raise hell about this.

This is ridiculous.

I've got to hoot and holler and make some noise.

I've got to make some noise.

I mean, I can't, you know, I'm American by God.

God, I work hard for my money, and I ain't going to have nobody sparing one of my models as a Jew.

Come in, but again, we want us to be polite.

We'll take care of what you need.

We expect you to be polite with us, too, okay?

Well, I can't do that right now.

I mean, you weren't polite to me, so I don't know why you're lying.

Well, you're putting words in my mouth if you're saying I'm dumb.

You've got to be kidding me.

You're telling me that Building 7 is underneath it?

Now, if you'd like to come in, we'd be glad to help you with your copies,

but I'm not going to discuss this with you anymore.

Well, I tell you what, I've seen the videos.

I know damn well what happened.

You have a good night, sir.

I'm going to get going.

Building 7.

7.

The best part is that she busted you on the phone number.

She's like, well, wait a minute.

That's funny.

Oh, man.

I almost want to go in and shift tonight, which sucks.

I wouldn't like to drive by there.

It's fucking hard.

I don't like that one.

I would just...

She sounds like a dumbass.

Yeah, she's a little cunty, but...

That would be funny.

I've been like, bitch, now I'm here, what are you going to do?

What does that mean?

Are you threatening?

Yeah, he's going to go behind the camera.

Some shit like that.

Oh, man.

So what are your thoughts on Building 7?

You think it was a demolition?

You think it really got?

No, here's what the.

I'm just looking at everything, and everything fell way too perfect.

It's like everything was too, like, weird.

There's too much, too many coincidences, too much evidence, just something that our government had a lot to do.

And it's not just, you know what I'm saying?

Like, I mean, it's just certain things.

Like, I mean, I'd say one of the fact that the BBC went to interview some of the hijackers

that were actually alive and living over in, like, Saudi Arabia and stuff like that.

I mean, that's...

Yeah, I've heard that the family says, yeah, they're still alive or something.

It's just, it's ridiculous.

Like, that's fucking, um, they had drill war games hang and...

The same day they were, yeah.

Just don't believe a second all that shit happened.

Nobody did shit.

There's no way in...

Yeah.

That could happen, and then fighter jets are not gonna fucking...

Like, shit is so tight.

Like, if you had a Cessna fucking plane and drove it the wrong way,

there'd be somebody in your ass in two seconds.

Yeah, to imagine.

Yeah, but it's just the airline.

The box cutters.

That's so fucking bullshit.

Pilots have a gun with them, and plus they're, like, military.

They're not a couple pussies.

You know what I mean?

No, back in the day, come on, when they used to hijack the planes,

they told the pilots, don't argue, just talk to the terrorist, the hijacker,

and ask them what they want and land the plane wherever they want you to land.

They're probably going to want to give up hostages

so they can train and get someone out of jail.

See, but that's the difference between running into a fucking building, though.

You know what I'm saying?

I mean, that's one thing, if they're going to land it and hold people hostage.

Yeah, but that's what the room was used to back then.

You know, if a motherfucker's trying to, like, steer the plane into a goddamn building,

what? He's getting his fucking ass beat.

But they killed the person, though. You know that, right?

That's what they say.

Well, supposedly.

I don't know.

I mean, there's no, like, there's no, like, there's no real proof of, like, any of this.

like as far as when the plane got shot down pennsylvania as well i believe i agree i believe

that that that plane did get shot down i really i hate to say it but you know what i feel like i

think it had to get done if you ask me yeah but i don't think that i mean shit from what the

coroner said there was no fucking couldn't even do all sorts of parts and that are not just gonna

appear or incinerate like i mean i'm not even talking about the world trade center i'm talking

about like pentagon like those and that's another one it's like fucking the holes don't like the

wing damage on the ground or anything and it was just like it's just a bunch of shit i don't know

and then then they still haven't released any camera footage and there's like i mean there's

thing after thing after thing that does not make any goddamn sense i mean it just it just doesn't

so that's what i feel yeah building seven had nothing there was a couple that were like so

bad did not fall over like five and six yeah exactly five and six were like burn the fuck

and they didn't fall over yet seven out of nowhere just fucking collapse nice controlled demolition

Yeah, there must have been something there, some views, it had some, I don't know, something was up with that building, I don't know.

Yeah, and what it was is honestly, dude, they did, they stored like tons of fucking gold out of those buildings.

And they actually have records of them transporting shit out.

Yeah, I don't know, I don't, the whole, it's kind of weird, I don't know, I just, I can't, I can't imagine, I think at the most our government maybe just was,

if they were, I mean, you want to believe maybe they just were incompetent or just inept to do anything about it.

I don't know.

I don't believe that.

The reason is because it makes sense for the war.

It basically justifies and gives them more power to, like, do what they did.

Like, to take away, basically, rights.

Patriot Act real quick.

Fucking go invade trees that have nothing to do with anything.

It's just like, I mean, it's basically like that whole thing happened like a hundred years ago, but with a ship.

The fucking ship sank and they justified a whole war by it.

However, they come to look at the ship and found out that explosives, like, blew it up from inside the ship.

It was like the USS Maine.

Like, it was way back when.

Yeah, that was the Spanish-American War.

We talked about that two weeks ago.

Yeah, the Maine and then the same thing.

I don't know.

It all goes way back.

Whether, do I think, I don't think the government was behind the attack.

I think maybe, I think just like World War II, during the Pearl Harbor attack,

It's pretty well known now that the Roosevelt administration knew that the attack was imminent

and they decided not to do anything in order to find an excuse to enter the war.

Yeah, I believe that.

I just don't.

With this thing, though, I mean, troll demolition just has.

I just find it really hard to believe that they were able to get demolition crews and squids

or whatever in those buildings like that to bring it down.

Well, yeah, I mean, they have interviews with those people on fucking CNN and shit, dude.

I mean, it's like, they actually have, like, places within the building,

like, basically in, like, elevators, is what it was.

Yeah, brilliant.

So, but anyways, yeah, I mean, it's, I mean, everything, just the way it falls.

I know something's up.

There's nothing I can fucking do about it.

That's over.

It's done.

Yeah, it's sad.

You know, all I know is that people died.

You know, it sucks.

People died.

It ruined our economy.

That's pretty much where we're at now, man.

Yeah.

But anyways, fucking more now, I'll get the fuck out of here.

Yeah, out of those numbers I sent you, which one do you want to call?

We got Buddy's Pizza was there.

I don't know if it's probably pretty late to call some of those, maybe.

Let me see here.

What do we got here?

Fucking California.

Buddy's Pizza?

No, it's probably open.

Buddy's Pizza.

That's right.

These are all Californians.

Yeah, that's right, that's right.

Okay.

All right, we'll do that.

Let me see what you got.

Kip's Resung Hong Call.

We got SARS.

SARS.

I got SARS in my rubs.

Nobody's talked about SARS for a long time.

Hey, what's up with SARS?

Did SARS get cured or something that no one's worried about it?

It just went away.

Yeah, imagine that.

It probably was fake the whole time.

All right, we'll call that.

Sun Hong Kong, is that what you want to do?

Yeah.

All right, that's in Berkeley.

We'll do that.

Sounds good.

Speaking of government conspiracies, all right, we'll do that.

Hang on, folks.

Just because I love my niggas, I shed blood for them.

Hey, yes.

Do you know who this is?

Mother.

Chicken.

Berkeley.

Shit.

Damn it.

Berkeley.

Grandmother ain't there yet, but I think she has some.

She's in the hot.

One of your chicks.

I think she's, I think she's got, yeah.

She's over at Harry's in big shape.

And I think I saw her.

What?

We never think you can just hang up on her.

Well, I think you might as well.

You understand that?

I mean, you're just blowing it off.

Ridiculous.

I think bring the support.

Read the report.

What are they saying?

Audio's out on Syndicate?

No, it's not bullshit.

Is it really?

Report, everybody.

Yeah, the camera's frozen on Syndicate, too.

God damn it.

Hang on, let me try to restart that, folks.

Give me a second.

Don't go anywhere, Reckless.

I gotta restart this.

No, go ahead.

Yeah, do what you gotta do.

All right, let me let them know.

You're wearing your hat.

Hey, what's up?

Let's see if this is working.

This should be back now.

Let me know, folks, if it's broadcasting.

It doesn't look like it is.

Uh-oh.

Click on Start Cam.

There we go.

Allow.

Move around.

Wave your hands.

Everyone give me a one if you see me again.

There we go.

We got some ones.

Good.

Okay, we're back.

We're going to call back that Chinese restaurant.

Was it Chinese?

What were we calling it?

Hong Kong.

Oh, what the fuck?

Hold on a second.

Let me look.

It was Kip's Restaurant, Sun Hong Kong.

Yeah, it's Chinese.

Berkeley hits.

Cool.

Let's do it.

Kibb's Restaurant again.

Or Sars.

Over there.

God damn it.

Oops, I forgot to turn on the audio.

To your call.

Number entered.

Re-enter the number you wish to call.

Don't say anything.

Please re-enter the number you wish to call.

You got a voice that screws it up.

Now.

There we go.

Take it away.

Damn it.

Shit, that's funny, man.

I think that's all.

You want to call that lady that kinkos again?

The first one we called?

Remember?

What was her name again?

Robin.

Let's try to see Robin answers.

Hang on.

I don't know. We'll see.

We'll see. I'm sure they told them.

God damn it. Hello?

Are you the prank caller?

What the hell?

Let's see. You have photos that are messed up.

During a screening, we noticed an issue.

Oh, fuck. I did the wrong thing.

That's awesome.

They gave him away, too.

They gave him away, too, man.

Because Reggie could have talked himself out of that.

Oh, you're sad, dude.

Like, call them, like, all the...

Call them more than you would imagine.

All right, let me get you a number of another Kinko's and another...

All right, while you do that, I'm going to call Reclue.

We got a number here from Fall, one of our longtime listeners.

She sent in a number for a fat school bus driver named Penny.

I'm going to give her a call.

For who?

A fat school bus driver who also works at a pizza restaurant.

Her name is Penny.

Oh, that's fucking broad.

All right.

I think that's who it is.

Hang on.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

The place is called Penny's.

There you go.

I sent it to you.

This is you now.

Now, I'm going to start it off, and you can jump in if you want.

Big woman named Jan, who is a school bus driver.

She's fat, and she also works at a pizza restaurant.

Imagine that.

And you get that other Kinko's there.

Now, I'll make sure that I use the right damn fucking number this time so it doesn't screw it up.

All right.

Don't go anywhere, man.

All right, go ahead.

All right.

Oh, you have a pretty color.

Screwing up.

That ring is going to screw up.

She's not going to hear us.

Call the car.

This line.

Damn it, I can't believe I screwed that up, man.

I hit the wrong button.

I got them on speed dial

I keep hitting the one

That I always use

Instead of the new one

It sucks

Pisses me off

Did you find that Kinko's yet?

We can call

Yes

Just pace

We've got England here also

We can call that in a little bit

Milkman Center

An international number

Lonesome Losers Center

Had a ton of numbers

We haven't even touched

Many of them tonight

We've been having fun

With Kinko's

Alright

Dude I'll tell you what

That's a

Why do you think

Dude it's

It's comedy gold

Yeah

I don't know why

They must hire idiots

Obviously

They do

I fucking hate

the motherfuckers

they are

they're a bunch

of fucking douchebags

yeah we got a guy

here saying

they screwed up

his project

for school

and all this shit

I've only been

to Kinko's

once in my life

and they treated

me pretty good

but they just

seem evil

not evil

but you know

they seem like

Starbucks and

McDonald's

one of those

big companies

that just kind of

you know what I mean

just screw stuff up

oh yeah

they got bought

by FedEx

yeah I mean

I've had

I mean it's not

I just like

like pranking the dumbass. There we go. All right, cool. It's always fun to prank. All

right, let's do that again. This is in Independence, Ohio. Is this closer to the other two down?

Also, would they recognize the other places? Oh, no. This is way up in, like, near Cleveland.

All right, cool. We'll do that. Milkman, you're going to head out for 15 minutes or something

like that, or are you leaving in 15 minutes? Milkman? Milkman's leaving. Milkman will be

back in a little bit here. Don't go anywhere, Reclute. We're going to do another call here.

All right, well, we'll be here. Actually, Maven's a chick. I'm sorry, Maven, sir. Thank

you. Milkman, play that music for me. Go, if you could, please. Thank you.

For many years, professional office people experienced what I experienced.

It was in the afternoon.

In the afternoon, what happened was, I kind of run a little, as you could say, modeling agency.

It's more for plus-eyed women.

And basically what I was doing was going down there and getting 8x10s made.

And number one, they smeared.

And I don't know why the hell they smeared.

You guys, you know, I hope you're not running with ink jets down there, are you?

No, I don't know how they would have smeared.

I know, that's what I'm saying.

I thought you did that, you know, the lasers, they don't smear.

One looks a little burnt, though.

I mean, do they ever think the heat must have hit it wrong or something, you know?

Then why would it smear?

I mean, I've got, I'm looking right here.

I mean, I mean, I know I'm not that delirious.

Bunch of them, like, smear right over the left.

Smear.

Deal with this.

You don't bring it back in?

Hey, well, we've got a much larger, I tell you what, there's another thing.

And not only did my pictures, but I tell you what, you know, maybe, I mean, what I,

seems like some people, maybe, I don't know, who are tall.

And he's seen one of my models, and he's seen that I kind of have a little bit of a hook.

I'm actually Jewish.

But one of my models has named this as David, right?

But he commented on that.

And then we started talking.

I don't know how he started talking about 9-11 and all that.

And he starts going into these theories.

He asked me if I'm Jewish.

I'm like, well, what concern is, what's that to you?

You know, hook.

You know they were working.

Why would I ever?

And then he gives it away, even though it's not me, you know.

But it invites remarks.

Marks and when they find out what a lot of people never heard anything like that. I mean, do you

honestly people are on buildings? So

what, where can we come?

We'll bring that in, but I'm going to have to use the computers.

So, basically, I'm going to have to use the computers a little bit.

And I'm charged.

I don't want to, I don't want to sue the paper.

I'm a crazy big queen.

Anti-Semitic remarks are the way to say, I mean, I'll kiss whatever.

Whatever it is, what I need is inaction.

You've never seen it.

So I'm just going to go down.

You give me the computers, and you take care of my...

Okay, if not, I mean, heads are going to roll.

I'm just going to go crazy down there.

I mean, seriously, my head's a piss.

Don't make all these words.

Put a word in that way.

Okay, that's neat.

You know, I can't sleep on that.

I can't go to sleep.

Well, that's not really a liberty to say that over the phone, sir.

Okay, well, you sound like a bitch.

And you can show me.

I bet sites you go, don't you?

Internet sites you like to...

When they're not.

When there's nobody there.

Wait a minute.

Hold on a second.

I go, we got off on the wrong page.

You were sitting there.

I was like, man, I don't want to look over there.

I was trying to make a guy uncomfortable because he wasn't budging on shit.

Those people are like robots.

Well, when do you get them, dude?

I have, like, tons of pranks.

When do you get them recorded?

I hope nobody takes it.

I mean, I definitely went against the Jews.

And it actually was not.

You talked to, like, the Boy Scouts, I think.

To be honest with you.

Probably the Boy Scouts.

No, it's some skull and bones cocks.

All I got to say.

Good.

Because it's like the guy, one sentence, and he was like,

Like, everybody was asking about it.

He got that shit green-lighted, like, so fast.

Yeah, it should be out in a month or two.

Yeah, it was like, they were still filming up until recently.

I mean, they didn't fucking crank that shit out.

Yeah, they cranked it out.

They decided to crank it out to get it out in time for the election.

Yeah, which is funny.

But hopefully it will sway things.

I wonder if it does.

I think that would be good if that film could sway everybody to vote for somebody more decent.

Yeah, hopefully.

This fucking Nazi fucking bitch they got.

Yeah.

Oh yeah

That chick

Oh man

Yeah man

But yeah

It's a fucking

That's funny shit though

We got the fuckers

We got to go ahead

Kinko's

Like

Big war now

Yeah I know

I gotcha

We're on it

Alright rec man

Thanks for calling in man

We had a good time

Alright man

Yeah I gotta go

Smoke some weed

And fucking

You know

All this hard work

Is killing me

Yeah I gotcha

Yeah

All this hard pranking

And smoking weed

And taking pictures

Yeah

Alright man

Alright good pranking

I'll talk to you later

Hey man

Have fun

Talk to you next week man

that's reclude everybody

reclude wow we had him on for a while

that was fun though man

called a ton of kinkos didn't we

my legs are feeling tired

so what do we do

do we take a break and do more calls

or do we just do a few more calls and talk

and end the show

that's the third cop that goes by in the last five minutes

something is going down in O-Town everybody

watch out

anyway I want to thank everybody who is listening

the line is now free by the way

Oh, man, it's 1-888-278-8509.

Again, that's 1-888-278-8509.

We've got a lot of people listening to us tonight.

Actually, not that many people.

Lately, I don't know if it's because I missed the one show,

but we don't have too many people listening tonight.

Slow night here as far as listeners are concerned,

but we're still having a good time, I'm sure.

I make sure to entertain you guys.

We've got a gentleman here who's listening from South America.

Imagine that.

Where in South America? I don't know.

I hope it's one of our allied countries there.

Maybe Colombia or Peru or something like that.

I don't know.

Maven says those cops are after me.

No, ma'am.

Those cops are not after me.

They went the other way.

So, oh, yes.

That's right.

Did you know one milkman's not here?

He doesn't know about this.

But I did want to let you guys know, Tuck.

Are you around, Tuck?

Who's here right now in the conference?

Brandon and Tuck or just Tuck?

Who's talking?

Who's audible?

Anybody?

Are you guys on mute?

No, I've got Tuck.

Tuck must have stepped away.

Anyway, I'll just say it.

So, I found out from my doctor two weeks ago.

looks like i got a kidney stone man it was crazy i kept uh kept man i every every you know it's

probably a bad thing that i'm drinking beer tonight but i would you know i you know on the

thursday nights i drink i drink beer i have like maybe two or three beers or whatever smoke a cigar

and uh all of a sudden you know every every every weekend friday saturday i start you know starts

burning when i pee and it's really bad cloudiness and stuff like that and i'm like what the hell

you know so i go to the doctor and they they put me they say oh maybe you got a bladder infection

fiction here take you know take these antibiotics and stuff and kept coming kept coming and then

apparently they said well yeah it looks like you got kidney stones my friend so i gotta gotta have

a ct scan this weekend on uh it's saturday technically tomorrow i guess saturday and have

a ct scan find out if i do have i don't know if i passed him or if i still have him or what my back

was killing me it was horrible i had to take that plane flight and i was getting over a kidney stone

i was like aggravated or i passed it or whatever my back was killing me and i had to sit in that

playing for like two and a half three hours oh man not fun so i'm really i'm kind of worried man

i'm young you know but i don't take good care of myself i've taken i take better care of myself

than i you know than i now than i used to but uh i'm not looking forward to passing a kidney

stone if that's indeed what's happening because i hear that is no joke they say that's worse

that's worse than giving birth a psychic says yeah they can be microscopic yeah that's true

so definitely not looking forward to that if it is a kidney stone i can't imagine what else it

would be so i'm on these antibiotics now look at that right there and i have a yeah because i'm

just i'm not looking forward to having a catheter of my urethra breaking stones or something whatever

no milkman was explaining to me i guess now they have a procedure where you kind of sit in a tub

and have like these ultrasound kind of thing that hits you and it breaks it up for you instead of

having to go up in the urethra i don't know how they do it now you know i just don't want to pass

it you know really i don't i i would rather i don't know i don't know i would rather get a

bunch of gold swagger and just knock myself out and pass it wake up three days later or something

like that i don't know it's not going to be fun hopefully you know it's something that won't be

too painful i mean it probably will be with my luck and uh i got approved today for a student

loan ten thousand dollars i've got the option to take up to ten thousand dollars so i'm thinking

i'm gonna i'm gonna have to i'm gonna have some medical bills now because i have a pretty large

deductible i got to play for ct scans and probably an ultrasound and all this stuff so

and i have to spend some money on medical bills so that's going to be there and i got to pay for

my tuition here and that's going to go there and um other than that i don't know and i got

i'm going to make a down payment on the car also and other than that i'm thinking i don't know

what i'm going to do i might get one you know what those new ipods came out um they got announced

this week and the new iphone the new ipod touch i think they finally got a winner there they got

model, which is right there, that's, that's the kind of, I have a, this is, this is my iPod here,

I've had it for two years now, my iPod, fifth generation video one, it was broken for about

five months, I opened it up myself and fixed it, 30 gig iPod, and it's usually, it's actually pretty

maxed out, so I wasn't about to get a new iPod, you know, that was only going to have 8 or 16 gigs

on it, because I wouldn't have enough room for all my stuff, I got a lot of audio, because I do the

show, I got all my, I put all my pranks on here, I put all my, you know, my show audio and stuff

Stuff like that.

You know, tonight I'll upload this show that you're listening to.

Now I'll upload it down here and I'll listen to it tomorrow with my notepad.

And I make notes.

I mark the times of the good parts and stuff like that.

And the good pranks.

And it helps me edit it out over the weekend.

And then I make the podcast.

But anyway, yeah, so I think they finally got it right with the new generation of the iPod Touch.

I keep wanting to say iPhone.

But the new iPod Touch because it's got the volume controls on the side.

It's not on the front.

so you'll be able to turn the volume

up and down without looking at the stupid thing

so like I usually carry my iPod

I usually have it like in my pocket

or I have it on my

I got one of those belt clips you know

so I got it on my side right there

I got my phone on my right side

and I got my iPod on the left side

so you know I like to

drive around and listen to the iPods

I don't want to have to look down and see where I'm at

so I might actually do that

maybe I will and you know the other thing I would like to get

is you know I don't know yet

That's more than likely.

I want to get a console.

I'm 99% certain I don't want to get a Wii

because that seems like a lot of work.

So, you know, as far as playing a game like that,

if I can't, you know, I want to sit vertical and do it.

That's how I want to be a gamer.

I want the kind of video gaming where you can sit vertically.

There goes the security guy.

Security guy.

I want the kind of gaming thing where you can sit vertically,

you know, vertically lay down and do your show.

That's exactly what I do.

Horizontal.

How do you say it?

I guess not vertically, horizontally.

Who does that?

And then the Xbox is pretty much dead.

I don't know of anything good or positive about it.

HD DVDs pretty much dead also right now,

so there's really nothing to do with that.

So on top of that, really,

there's so many benefits of the PlayStation 3 number one.

The Final Fantasy, of course, is going to be on there eventually.

I don't know, when is that Final Fantasy game coming out?

They've been talking about it forever.

At least three years in the making now, perhaps,

the Final Fantasy game for the PlayStation 3.

It also has a built-in Blu-ray DVD player, which is one the format wore.

So, I mean, why not?

How much are those PlayStation 3s?

Are they still expensive?

Are they still more than $300?

Something like that?

Well, you know, I was thinking it would be nice.

It would be nice to get a PSP.

But from what I understand, if I go to the store now and get a brand new out-of-the-box PSP,

they're not as easy to hack.

Because Milkman has the very first original edition of the PSP.

He was an early adopter.

and he's got the ability

he can copy the games

he's got emulators on there

if the PSP comes to the web browser

I'd definitely go for that

that would be awesome

I would love to have a PSP

if I can browse the web on it

if it has wifi, does the PSP have wifi?

I don't know

if it does, that would be awesome

JokerCard is saying the PSP 3000 is coming out

I guess a new version of it

there's another reason for me to wait more time

it was always good to wait time

$399

For a Playstation 3

They really

They still haven't

Dropped the price on that

Have they

God damn it

It's got a built in mic

Apparently

That's something

Anyway

I think I'm going to end the show

It's late

It's almost

It's 1230

And I have had

A little sleep here

But yeah

I've got

I'm just trying to think

You know

I got the announcement today

Approved for a student loan

$10,500

You know

I got the wedding coming

Most of that money

Is going to go towards the wedding

Because we still have to

to finish paying off our honeymoon, we were taking a cruise, taking a five-day, a seven-day cruise,

I believe it is, in the Caribbean, so it's my responsibility to pay for our hotel stay in

Puerto Rico, and our plane flight, and the spending money, the casino money, and all this and that,

so that's probably going to go to that, most of it, you know, yeah, anyway, and also, yeah, I mean,

I had fun this last weekend, man, we did a taste testing for our wedding cake, oh man, I had some,

And I'm diabetic, let me tell you what, my sugar, you know, this was on Friday we did

the taste testing for the wedding cake, and, you know, me and Athena, we got several samples

actually, we actually got to share with my in-laws-to-be, you know, my brother's sister-in-law,

my mother and father-in-law-to-be and all that, you know, it was cool, we went to the

bakery where we were going to do the cakes, and, you know, we were thinking, okay, they're

just going to give us little squares, you know, to sample, here's our chocolate, here's

our vanilla here's our marble they give us actual cakes like actual like you know when you go to the

store the smallest cake you can buy that maybe feeds maybe four or five people they actually

gave us three of those so we brought them home we couldn't finish it man awesome awesome place

in pennsylvania someplace in in the lancaster area out there i forgot the name of it but man

but i'll tell you what my sugar my i'm diabetic my sugar shot up like a like a rock or would it be

down like a rock i don't know no it didn't do that it shot up like a rocket basically and i and

And it hasn't gone down since, and I'm kind of worried about it.

I've been taking my meds like crazy for the diabetes, but I've been suffering for it.

I had a lot of cake, you know.

That's what you get.

Yeah, that's me suffering.

What are you up to, Tuck, man?

Where were you at, the bathroom, or where are you at all the time?

I had business to take care of, sir.

Uh-huh, business, eh?

Gotcha.

Important nighttime business.

I had to be taken care of before we could all go night and night.

Gotcha.

you i know you get taken care of now you get grumpy if you don't have your meditation time

yeah i know right exactly i i do it to you it's okay i understand it man it's cool

no worries there yeah yeah all right well um i think we're gonna end the show here it's it's

time it's a chuck are you going on you don't have a dishwasher either you have to do it by hand

yeah right do you have next see you see the thing is tuck has one pair of underwear and he has to

to wash it every day before he goes to work so yeah yeah so he had to make sure he you know put

his underwear in the laundry there and hung it up on the line all right anyway so it's chuck yeah

chuck's coming on next i'm just saying chuck do the pulleys no pressure chuck you know you don't

have to go on if you don't want it you know i'm just saying chuck usually goes on after us i want

to make sure i promote him accordingly i want to thank everyone who listened to us tonight oh oh

Oh, he does.

I had no idea.

Yeah, he does.

Yeah, he holds it down.

He's the official after Madhouse Party show.

Chuck comes on.

And what does he do?

He breaks.

What does he do?

He hangs guitars.

He shines his guitars.

He spikes his hair.

And I don't know.

I look at him.

Yeah, look at his face.

Spike that hair, boy.

There you go.

That's a show, isn't it?

Yeah.

You know?

Man, I'll be honest with you.

That's a show.

I'll be honest with you.

That's what he does.

I am kind of intimidated if I do have kidney stones.

This is something I'm really worried about.

I think this might be my personal Vietnam if it happens.

God damn it.

Someone give me some advice here.

What can I do?

Oh, dude.

That's not fun.

That is not fun.

That is not.

Will they give me some morphine for that?

Hey, wait a minute, though.

You know what?

I might be able to get some nice pain meds out of this.

I want to.

Maybe get an epidural.

That might be nice.

Anybody out there ever had an epidural before?

Let me know about that.

You pretty much just got to let it pass.

I think they only get it to pregnant women.

Oh, man.

I know the doctor will tell you, like,

the doctor will tell you, like,

the doctor's like, have you been drinking beer?

Is that what, I mean, out of nowhere,

he's like, have you been drinking beer or something?

I'm like, yeah, every Thursday night I usually have some beer.

This is a drinking night for me.

He's like, yeah, well.

It's like, you know, what I tell my patients

when they come in, when they have kidney stones,

I tell them, you know, drink beer.

It'll help you pass and it makes your kidneys work overtime.

I'm like, yeah, I guess that kind of makes sense.

Yeah, you probably have a stone in one of your kidneys and when it gets aggravated, it spills over and you probably got some particles or some grit that comes out from it and stuff.

So, you know, man, I'm like, oh, no, don't tell me that.

Yeah, man.

This has been Madhouse Radio for September 11th of 2008.

We didn't even talk about the 11th at all.

Well, we did.

I guess Rick Lou did touch on it.

His conspiracy theories.

I just want to say, you know, I don't really, like myself, I've thought about it.

You know, I really, my view on the whole September 11th thing.

It was a horrible tragedy.

I think we should all just remember that people died, of course.

Before we get into the whole people, you know,

oh, it was a conspiracy and it was fake and this and that.

Number one, I don't think there's any shadow doubt that a lot of people died.

That is a problem, all right?

But on top of that, I really find it hard to believe

that our government would have done something like that intentionally,

that they planned it or something.

I think at the most, I think that our government knew that it was going to happen

and either was very inept or dumb about it

or just simply said, let's just let it happen

so we can go into a war against terror.

I could see that happening.

I could see the Bush administration saying, you know...

But that's actually worse.

That is worse, isn't it? No.

To admit that you're inept.

It's worse to admit that you're inept

than actually you're a conspiracist

and you're malicious for other games.

It's worse to say you're inept.

Well, how's it worse to say that, you know...

It's really how they've really been more perceived.

Well, I mean, it's not worse to say that we fucked up.

I mean, it's like saying basically our bad.

You know, if we were in that,

that we were so stupid that we didn't see it coming,

and the evidence was there.

I pushed a button by mistake.

I pushed a big old red shiny button by mistake in my head.

Yeah, but there are a lot of weird things.

I mean, it's hard to see how those buildings collapse like that.

But, I mean, I've seen it explained to me on the Discovery Channel.

It makes sense the way they explain it.

The floors warped, and the trusses snapped, and it pancaked down.

It makes sense.

They did a pretty good job of explaining it to me.

I mean, that's Discovery Channel.

They're a liberal station.

Why not buy what they said?

If anybody's going to do the conspiracy, they're going to be them.

You know what I mean?

And shit, I miss Discovery Times.

There was a channel out there that used to be on TV called Discovery Times.

It was straight-up documentaries, like awesome documentaries, and it's gone.

No, now they made it, like, court, like a, like, police TV.

Based off of the current headlines.

Yeah, it was awesome, yeah.

And even one of the guys from...

Whatever was going on in the news that day, they would pull a documentary based on it.

Yeah, that had to do with it, yeah.

They used to have, like, documentaries on Castro and Cuba.

If Princess Di died, they would bring out all the Princess Di stuff.

Exactly, yeah.

I remember one of my...

They didn't showcase all that.

You know, when I first moved out of my house, when I first had my bachelor pad, when I left my ex-girlfriend and I got my own place, before I met Athena, I had a period of time where I was a bachelor.

I've talked about my wonderful days there right before I started the Madhouse show here.

And I would come home on a Friday with a six-pack of beer, and I would sit with my DVR, and I would go to Discovery Times, and I would go through the whole weekend, Friday through Sunday.

day, and I'd see, ooh, I want that documentary, I want to watch that, and I'd record all the

documentaries I wanted to see, and then I'd go to a history channel and do the same thing,

and then I would go to the third channel also, National Geographic channel, I'd do the same

thing on there, those three channels, I'd hit them up for the documentaries, and that

would be what I would watch all week, and just documentaries, always had fun, always

had fun, man, good times, good times, the one in Oviedo, no, that was, no, Oviedo,

does that's where i live with andy my friend mike that was you know that was 97 98 man that was way

before way way fucking before um i was uh i had a dvr dvrs didn't exist back then man we're talking

the 2000s man that was like 2005 when i first had my own place man man all right let's get out of

here guys um i want to thank lonesome loser if i didn't thank him already i want to thank reclude

for calling in i think he was the only caller of the week of the night right i want to thank all

our prank call victims i want to thank fall for sending a prank request see douches in the house

douche call me a cunt what's up douche how you doing man are you green yet douche make him green

damn it clay clay says my dad had to have the procedure done where they put him in a tub of

water he says you don't feel anything like you go to sleep awesome but you hear stuff like the

machine working if i can put up if i can put on my ipod while i do that i'm straight i'll uh i'll

I'll put some podcasts in there.

I'll load it up with some Dignation and Twit or something.

I don't know.

I'll get myself some shows to listen to.

Put some music on there.

I don't know.

That'd be cool.

That's good.

Hey, hell yeah, man.

If I can fall asleep getting my kidney stones taken care of, son of a bitch.

That's a good thing.

Anyway, Lonesome Loserman, you send in a lot of numbers,

especially in the UK that we didn't get to.

As always, they will be saved in a log.

I'll try to get to them.

Maybe we'll do a show Saturday.

UK tonight.

No one even calling you, Kate, tonight, man.

I feel bad.

Does that even work?

Lonesome Loser worked his ass off tonight confirming numbers.

My bad, dude.

Hey, Tuck, what are you doing on Saturday?

If I don't buy a car this Saturday, maybe I'll do a show.

You got plans?

If you give me plenty of notice, and if guests don't show up like they might, I should be around.

All right, well, we'll see about it.

I might be buying a car, though, so it doesn't matter.

and a big thanks

to everyone over at

Syndicate

and everyone who

listened

give me a little

notice

yeah we'll figure it

out

no guarantees folks

cause you know

I need a car

you know what I mean

anyway so next week

we'll be back

that'll be on the

18th

if you get a chance

please visit

madhouselive.com

I'm trying to remember

how I end the show

let's see here

I go to this one

here

and I go to

you know

atomic particles

happen

between now and then

do we ever cover

the big

Adam Smashing

big bang machine

did you hear about that

yeah the large

it could have ended yesterday

the world could have ended yesterday

well it's a large hard on collider

from what I understand

what nobody is noticing is that

it's not going to be full powered

all they did was turn the stupid thing on yesterday

it doesn't actually start smashing particles

together until October I thought

the world is not over yet but it will be ending soon

dude look

here's the thing

When I was worried about it

Up until the point

Where I heard Stephen Hawking say

Nothing's going to happen

Because if anybody knows the effects

That would happen

When Stephen Hawking was like

Nothing will happen

I was like you know what son of a bitch

Stephen Hawking knows about particles

And black holes and quantum physics

And all that

If homeboy knows that it's not going to happen

I'm putting my faith in Stephen Hawking

Stephen Hawking should run for president of the United States

I think the guy's a smart guy.

Smart guy.

Right?

Come on.

Yeah.

Who's smarter, Stephen Hawking or Einstein?

I don't know, man.

He's just going to sit there.

He sure doesn't want to talk.

Who would win in a fight?

He's probably not even, you know, there.

Someone else is probably saying all that stuff through the voice box.

I don't know.

Who would win in a fight, Stephen Hawking or Einstein?

I think that would be a good fight.

Stephen Hawking's in a wheelchair.

Of course he would.

come on man

well I guess

he got him there

I did want to

mention here

there was one

news story here

that Kokanee

sent to me

that I had found

also and I

thought it was

really funny

this is a

burglar in

Fresno

who apparently

he broke into

a home just

east of Fresno

he rubbed

food seasoning

over the body

of one of

two men as

they slept in

their rooms

and then used

an 8 inch

sausage to

whack the

other man on

the face and

head before

running out of

the house

uh a police officer described the crime as one of the strangest he's ever heard of said a suspect

was found hiding in a nearby field a few minutes later and taken into custody on suspicion of

residential robbery deputy said he had no problem linking a suspect to the crime it seems the guy

ran out of the house wearing only a t-shirt boxer shorts and socks he left behind his wallet and his

ID. Uh-huh.

He was arrested. Antonio Vasquez

Jr., 21 of Fresno.

Guilty. Vermont

said deputies headed to the victim's

home in a 300 block of yada yada yada.

Now, now. The victims,

both farm workers, told deputies

they were awakened by a stranger applying

pappy seasoning to one of them

and striking the other with a sausage.

Both the spices

and a sausage. I don't know what that's about.

I'm saying that one. Both the

spices and a sausage were obtained from the

the kitchen. After the man fled,

the victims discovered the home had been ransacked

and that money was taken. The money

was recovered, but the sausage used in

the attack was discarded and

eaten by a dog. That's right.

A dog ate the weapon. That

is crazy. What was the point

of that? Why? No proof.

No proof. No proof. What a

whack-a-nut. He's 21 years old. He was rubbing

seasoning on the guy who

was sleeping. You know, I'm staying

out of that. That's not any of my

my business.

Maybe he was

getting ready to

cook them.

I got a feeling

he had like a

big cauldron.

You know like

Bugs Bunny used

to have a big

cauldron and

he'd put like

potatoes and

stuff in it

and he'd stick

someone in there

to cook them.

That's probably, he's probably hungry, the poor guy.

You say stay out of that.

Let him go.

You know, he was seasoning his...

None of our concern.

Yeah, exactly.

Whatever it takes.

None of our concern.

None of our concern, you ask.

All right, anyway, we're out of here, folks.

Thank you again for listening.

None of our concern.

That was...

I really want to know what I got from that story.

Oh, hey, Bonaduce or Levy?

Who's going to get the shit to be at Fort Levy, huh?

It's not even a question for me.

Bonaduce is going to win.

That guy's a fucking...

He's a fucking machine.

Of course.

Oh, my God.

I'm saying he's going to kill Levy.

I've been without Sirius Radio this week

because of the fact that I'm not in my car

I do have a Sirius receiver here in the house

but the only time I listen to Sirius in the house

is when I wake up in the morning

I turn it on

it broadcasts to my bathroom

and as I'm taking a shower, shaving, taking a shit

eating breakfast, whatever it is

I hear Sirius but only really for a half hour in the morning

and then usually most of the

most of the Stern Show and Sirius that I listen to

is on my way to work

during my lunch break in my car on my way back.

So I've missed it all this time.

Shut up, Muckman.

So basically, all I know is that, what,

Levy's going to fight Bonaduce?

Of course Bonaduce is going to beat the...

I mean, I know Levy's part of the family here at Syndicate,

but come on, it's fake anyway.

It's a bit.

But for anybody who would...

You know why I know in a real fight

Bonaduce would wipe the floor with Bob Levy?

Because of the simple fact

that I was watching the Gary Bonaduce show once,

and the opening sequence to the

Gary Bonaduce show he was

in a bathroom right and

there was a stall you know how you have your bathroom

stalls and it was closed

from the inside like he was

there was nobody inside the stall but it was locked

you know what I mean like someone had went in

locked it and crawled under and

he was with like some other

kids or something like that and he's saying

I'm going to show you this once this is a

story about life and he took

his head he head butted

the bathroom stall

and cracked it open

with his head

and didn't even

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

didn't even fucking flinch.

I'm like,

holy fucking Christ.

And in this,

and in this one

Listen to the replay

from today

when Bonaduce

is talking about

all the shit

he went through

and what his dad

did to him

and what he did

growing up.

It's really disturbing.

Really?

Check it out.

Well, you know what?

I might

I'll turn that on tonight.

Now that I'm going to bed,

I'll turn it on.

Maybe I'll catch it.

Maybe I'll be lucky and it'll be playing that.

And there's one time, I remember on the first season of the show,

he was talking to that gay therapist of his that him and the wife used to talk to.

He had a coffee mug in his hand.

And he's just sitting there with an empty coffee mug in his hand.

And he goes, you want to see a trick?

And he takes the coffee mug and bashes it on top of his head

and it breaks into a thousand pieces.

And he doesn't even flinch.

And the therapist just hits you like,

Yes.

Okay.

Like, just like that.

I'm like, oh, my God.

Bonaduce, he's saying what he was doing for training was

he hired his trainer who was on the same kind of building size of Levy

and said, what I want you to do,

and he paid him double,

is to hit me every day so I'm used to it

like it's just like me brushing my teeth on a daily basis

so it doesn't even affect me.

This is how fucked up this guy is

Yeah, I'm sorry I leave you, dude, but

Yeah, all right

Anyway, we've been trying to leave for an hour here

Chuck, prepare yourself

Milkman, I already did get us out of here

But, you know, if you want to say something real quick, you can

Here's your theme song

Milkman, did that say something?

Show your titties

Show your titties, Milkman

Tuckermite.com

That's right, tuckermite.com

Milkman, where you at?

Show your titties

Milkman, Milkman

Tuckermite.com

All right, Milkman's not saying anything.

We're going to have to go.

No, we all did it.

Okay.

Take a mic, then.

Thank you, everybody.

We'll catch you here again next week.

Bye-bye.

This radio is live Thursday nights at 10 p.m. Eastern.

Why don't you shut the hell up?

Fuck, fuck, you fucking cunts!

Be sure to visit us online at madhouselive.com.

Calls (16, 49 min of 2 h 35 min)

Transcript

Comments 0