2008-09-18 Show

Listen here, if you come over here, I'll bust your fucking nose.

Yo, partner.

Good evening, everybody.

How y'all doing?

Madhouse Radio is returning again, another Thursday Night Extravaganza.

Whoop-de-frickin'-do.

Oh, boy.

Holy crap.

Holy shit.

Come on to your bed.

That was nice and creepy.

I like that one, man.

It was like, yeah, we're back.

We're back.

And it went, yeah.

that's that that's my crew those are my homies right there this is the life i lead

wow milkman's here of course the man himself the milkman the man of milk leche hombre what's up

man how you doing

shit it's gonna be sick well hell we got that to look forward to all right god damn it of course

Also here is the man himself, Tuck, the owner-proprietor of Tuckermike.com, comic book artist and prank call artist.

All right, we're going to have to do something here.

All of a sudden, syndicate all of a sudden, now people can use their mics when they're in there.

And Big Will just went in there with his mic hot.

Shame on you.

How do you turn that off?

Settings, Carlito.

Settings.

There should be a bot.

Callers auto-unmuted.

no webcams have audio it's it's unchecked it says that's it well it's unchecked so webcams don't

have audio if you want to hear them setting i'm gonna i'm gonna christ that's not scary i think

i just got it now that's just pissing me off fucking shit when did that start when i know

when did now live turn into that that bullshit now jeez anyway i think i got it i think i got

it we'll see about that anyway so in the meantime thank you everyone for listening here and watching

Madhouse Radio Network on 98.6, the Boca.

98.6, the mouth.

The Boca.

I think we got it fixed, Milkman.

Don't worry about that.

And also, of course, we're in our flagship station over at SyndicateRadio.tv.

Radio TV.

God damn it, son of a bitch.

Now Syndicate's really pissed.

I'm going to go off of Syndicate.

I'm going to ruin my show here.

Hang on.

Let's see.

Fuck Syndicate.

Fuck off.

You have one show you got to do.

All right.

I have 30 others.

All right, callers auto-unmuted, unchecked.

So now, okay, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

How do we do this?

All right, so if it says callers auto-unmuted, unmuted, right?

That's a bad thing.

I don't want them to be auto-unmuted.

I want them to be muted when they come in, so that's unchecked.

All right, then.

Muted means muted.

Webcams have audio, and that is unchecked.

I don't want to hear anything.

Show chat, yes.

Show media, yes.

I guess for show media

callers

yes

okay that's it

those are the settings

right there

I suppose

those are the settings

I suppose

now it's happening again

what the bloody hell

what is this man

tell them to shut

their mics off

do something

yeah

whoever's in now

turn your mics off

and leave them off

that's just fucking

annoying and rude

anyway

Megan Memo

you're the host

you don't have to

fuck with that

I don't have to

fuck with that

I don't have to

deal with this i'm we are professionals here at least i am and milkman is talk you're not a

professional you're still amateur but i don't know about me not you yeah yeah milkman's a

professional he's referring to me milkman's a professional he's at work right now son of a

bitch hell yeah he's at work right now and he's still doing his show that's a consummate

professional man how about that all right anyway i did want to uh give a what's up to everyone

one who's listening we'll be giving everybody uh you know formal introductions here in a moment

we're gonna let everybody filter in we have right now uh i don't know 33 plus you know i'm not even

watching how many people listening right now 33 plus 13 plus four plus and another that's 20 47

i don't know 145 listeners all right good we're awesome all right cool all right so they want to

mention here real quick reclude is going to be joining us here later on tonight uh for all you

fans of the richie randall calls milkman did you get did you finally hear this and i sent you the

uh the a link to this here i know tuck you heard this right richie randall got a shout out live on

uh i did not get well for all you all you reclude and richie randall fans here's a shout out from

over the weekend uh reclude prank call he told me he kept calling his dj regular radio uh terrestrial

MrRadio, Sonny95, I guess in Ohio.

He kept calling in about his lovely, I guess, what is it,

the overweight black girl, Francine, that he's always wanted to court.

Here you go. Listen to this, everybody.

Refreshing music, Sonny95, rolling through a commercial for you all, Music Hour.

I want to say hey and thanks for listening up on the north end.

Richie Randall and his lovely lady, Francine.

Please, Francine, don't leave him.

I love that, man.

I just wish, he said he didn't get to record that, you know,

but he said he kept calling the DJ,

The guy probably told him he'd give him the shout-out if he stopped calling him.

I love that.

If you don't know who Richie Randall is, go over to the...

I'd say everybody call up your favorite local terrestrial radio station.

Uh-huh.

And tell them Richie Randall.

And do the same thing.

Yeah.

Richie to Francis.

Yeah.

Richie Randall.

And, uh, the same.

So record it and send it all to us.

Tell them you're Richie Randall and you, you know...

Make a series of it.

Yeah, man.

Do I even have...

I'm sure we've got some Richie Randall pranks up on the...

Yeah, they're in the forums.

If you want to go see them, head on over to the Madhouse Radio forums.

That's over at madhouselive.com.

And take a look and see the pranks directly where he made...

He called a bunch of them as Mr. Richie Randall.

A nerd who has a bow tie and stuff of that nature.

I'll try to find one of them here.

Maybe we'll play it later on in the show.

We got one.

Does he have braces?

I don't think Richie Randall has braces.

I'm not sure.

We'll get clarification.

that's why he talks like that is it really well yeah obviously of course that is good call milk

man good call man gold star gold star man we're good for you good on you buddy mate here's a

ritchie randall call for y'all you know what we're talking about we'll play some of it here

warming things up getting ready to do some prank calls of our own the night is young it is 10 19

p.m and keep in mind you can always reach us here one triple eight two seven eight eight five zero

nine is a toll-free line uh-huh and once again that's one triple eight two seven eight eight

509 is the toll-free line if you want to call us tonight hello is this uh who is this

listen i got a i got a special request all right so i'm going down to a toll house cafe

what time are you open till when sir tonight tonight yeah i'm ready you're close already

okay listen what about tomorrow afternoon when you guys open no tomorrow the we want to be

close for Easter. You've got to be kidding me. Okay, what, all right, listen, what about,

all right, Tuesday night. Tuesday night? Yeah. Are you sure you know what you are talking

to? Yeah, Toll House Cafe, right? No, Toll House Cookie Cake. Yeah, Cookie Cake. Yeah,

you guys got tables in there? We are here at the mall. Yeah. And Frisco Mall. Yes. And

We open 10 to 9 o'clock.

Yeah.

You guys got tables there where you can eat the cookies?

Oh, yeah.

Okay, here's what I need you.

Right in front of the store?

Okay, listen to me.

Here's what we need.

I'll pay you $20.

What it is, I got a girl coming down.

She's coming down from Oklahoma City.

Oh, from Oklahoma.

Yes.

See, because I can't get too many girls around here

here, because I play the magic cards, and I'm on the computer a lot, but, so I met this

girl, she's kind of big, but she likes Toll House cookies, right, so I was thinking, man,

I'll pay you $20, and you wear, like, a suit, and you come over here and serve us your cookies,

you know what I'm saying, you say, and you act like I come there all the time, and you

say, hey, Mr. Ralph, you got a cookie here, and you know what I'm saying, you put it on

a silver like plate no i'm sorry sir but i cannot do that but i bring the plate you know what i'm

saying you say hey it's ralphie you know i'm saying oh mr mr it's ralphie randall it's my

name sir you say hey mr randall we like we we we glad to see you again and you know what i mean

and then you serve me the cookie and don't can we have candlelight we'll come here

Yes, sir, but I'm not allowed to do that.

No, come on, man.

You can find somebody else.

This is Ralph, man. This is Ralph.

And that would be me ruining the prank call in the back there.

Anyway, so it continues like that.

I don't know why I did that.

I walked all over the record as pranking.

We changed the name to Richie prank call after that.

Yeah, that was the first call with the character.

We said, we like Richie Ralph.

Richie's a good name for a retarded guy, I think, right?

Right? Isn't that about right?

You know, retarded guy, you call him Richie, Michael.

No offense, Tuck, I know your real name is Mike, but that's...

Hey!

I'm just close to retarded.

Yeah.

You know, a big name for retarded girls is Karen.

I know a lot of mentally disabled women named Karen.

Girls and stuff.

Yeah.

Wow.

Michael.

I don't know, it just seemed to me, when I was growing up,

when I was a younger guy, you know, you'd be at school,

and it was always in a special ed class

and there was always one named Michael.

I was like, oh, Michael, he's special.

Oh, Michael.

Let's hear it for Michael, everybody.

Actually, that sounds true.

Michael used to be like the number one name everyone had.

You know, like at the top names and names were babies

and Michael was number one for a long time.

Well, that's probably what's up then.

Yeah, well, then, no offense.

Yeah, yeah.

Coconut is asking.

It's a very common name.

There's like two or three Michaels in my classroom

And Joey's another one too

You hear a lot of Joe

Joe

Retarded Joe

Retarded Michael

Mikey

Everyone calls him Mikey right

And he gives out

Gives out the carts at the Walmart

Mikey right

Yeah yeah I know

I think Mikey is a retarded kid

Yeah

I'm still getting that background noises man

This sucks dude

They gotta do something about that

Syndicate get on that you know

Fix it or I will be

I don't know

I'll cancel you guys

Nah I'm kidding

I love Syndicate

They're good people

they're all right people hey man anyway speaking of which of all right people the man himself

lonesome loser our prank call confirmation machine he is here and he's sending in numbers

let's take a look here real quick and see what we got from the lonesome loser we've got

mikey's greek gyros there you go all right it's quick it's quick yeah we got planet gyros good

Good Friends Chinese Restaurant,

the Canton Dragon Chinese Restaurant,

Wonderful House Chinese,

you must have been lonesome losers

in the mood for Chinese and gyros tonight.

Hell yeah.

Chinese.

The Blazing Onion Burger Company,

Herphy's Burger and Teriyaki,

we got Bing's Bodacious Burgers,

Herman's Burgers.

Wow, we got a lot of stuff to do here tonight.

Herphy's Burgers.

Herbie, man.

Hell yeah.

Herbie's Burgers,

that should be the name of a sexual act.

Oh, yeah.

All right.

Good deal.

I think that's what Frank Lester had that one time over at Zolar's there.

Herbie's Burger.

Herbie's.

He had a Herbie's Burger.

You remember this one.

Oh, yeah.

I wanted to mention, speaking of Zolar, he will be on tomorrow night, 9 p.m.

Eastern Standard Time, 6 p.m.

Pacific here on syndicate radio.tv.

Zolar's.

Zolar's Party Nation and the Party Nation man himself.

Great appearance tonight on the Stern Fan Roundtable.

Well, I actually got a chance to listen to it.

I haven't listened to the roundtable live.

I've been catching it on the replays on Friday.

Oh, it was on there?

Yeah, they replay it on Fridays right on my lunch break.

So I usually catch it, but I hadn't heard it live in a while.

And I got, on Twitter, I got Zolar's tweet that it was going to be on.

So I made it a point to listen.

Pretty good appearance.

He always does really good on that show.

I wish they'd involve him more and stuff on the Stern Show.

He does a good thing here on Friday.

I'm going to be sure to check him out.

But you remember that one time?

I don't think you remember this Milkman, but he got Prankmaster.

It was, like, talking to me online.

It was like, yeah, do you think I should go to Zolar's house?

Like, yeah, you should bring some food with you, too, while you're at it.

Don't you think?

He's like, all right.

He brought, like, two large pizzas, and it was raining outside,

and Zolar made him stay outside and talk to him through the window,

and it was raining all over the pizzas.

That's a while ago now, but yeah.

Oh, man.

God, I miss those days, man.

Oh, jeez.

Fucking idiot.

Fucking gullible idiot, man.

I love to pursue stuff there.

Yeah.

Yeah, he's a tool.

All right, anyway, speaking of tools, let's do some prank calls, and we're going to get

to some news a little later, if you guys don't mind.

We always like to touch on the articles and news.

Nope.

Who's the guy that died from Pink Floyd?

I didn't say Led Zeppelin this time.

Pink Floyd.

Who was the dude?

One of the founding members.

Rick White.

Rick White from Led Zeppelin.

All right.

Good deal.

He's dead.

Awesome.

Who's Rick White from Led Zeppelin?

Yeah.

All right.

Well, that's cool.

And some other guy, some other black dude died, too, who made music.

That's good.

All right.

Black guy.

Black music guy died.

Black guy made music.

All right.

He was involved in that song, War.

You know, what is it good for?

Absolutely nothing.

nothing and then uh he was involved in making it i heard it through the grapevine he was one of

those guys you know what i'm talking about my guy yeah the guy has the music yeah the black one

the black one yeah the colored fella okay anyways let's do a prank call we're gonna call that

canton uh we're gonna call the canton dragon restaurant i didn't say nothing tuck you're the

one that told me the other day in private that you think that they all look the same did you

you know he said that milkman can you believe it nope tug was like they all look the same to me i

don't know what do you expect i know right they still have legal slavery over there

they don't want to admit it yeah

who made that song who whose song is that war what is it good for absolutely nothing

What song?

Who did that one?

Oh, God.

Yeah.

I know I have it.

Yeah.

Who is that?

Hang on.

Someone tell me.

One of the ICKs because he's hard to find.

The group is War.

So what's the song?

Eric Burden?

No.

Isn't Eric Burden?

Maybe it's War.

I don't know.

I think the group is War.

Is it War?

What is it good for?

I guess it is.

Hang on.

Let's try that.

What?

War and good.

There we go.

That is it.

All right, Gold Star, who figured it out?

Me?

Some white boy over there figured it out.

Me?

All right, white boy.

Yeah, tuck the white boy.

This stupid Tennessee boy.

This stupid Tennessee racist boy over there.

Racist boy over there figured it out, yeah.

Yeah.

Okay, here we go.

We'll be right back with the first prank call of the night.

Campton Dragon Chinese Restaurant in Wyoming.

Home of Wyoming fried chicken.

And I'm going to tell you what right now.

This motherfucking card better work.

I called, and I feel bad about this, but the woman argued with me that it hasn't been cutting off.

And we have recorded proof that for the last three weeks, the damn card keeps cutting us off in the middle calls, right?

She said, oh, I don't see anything.

It's clear. It hasn't been screened.

I don't see anything in your account that's doing that.

I don't know. You should be fine.

And I said, well, last Thursday it was doing it.

She goes, you know what she told me?

She's like, well, maybe you should try it now and see and then call us back.

And I called her the C word, no lie.

And I felt bad after I did it

But I was upset at her

She was real snotty with me

I muttered it under my breath

And I hung up on her

But I think she heard me say it

So I don't know

I'll call her tomorrow

And talk to her

And apologize

Oh Jesus

They like it when you call them the C word

Women secretly like that

They like the attention

Here we go

Starting already Tuck

Bad luck from Tuck

Is beginning already

Let's try it again

Good point

Jackie Chan did sing that song

From Rush Hour

He did sing that song

really badly too

he did not win

the fight

oh he didn't

that sucks

unfortunately

somehow he didn't

win

over a

crazy

guy

somehow he didn't

make it through that

much of a fight

anyway

or a celebrity

type of script

if that's all good

whatever it takes

dude I don't know

what's up with the phone

I could try to use

Hollywood's card

instead again

I think I still have it

here hang on

let's find out

what is this

what was there

okay

Okay.

Wow, this is going to be great.

All right, let's try it.

Let's play a different song, too.

I hate this song already.

Scramble it up a little bit.

Spoof card.

Oh, dude, big announcement here.

I don't know if you guys heard, but I got the email.

It's official.

Sirius is going to have the ACDC channel.

That's what we should be playing, some ACDC.

We're big ACDC fans here on this show, but we're a little excited about that.

Yeah, they were on Stern Show last week.

Oh, were they really?

Better now, better now.

Yeah.

Bullshit.

Call one now.

Let's see if we're sitting on the Civic.

Man, look at you.

Yeah, man.

Me, Mr. Car Man.

Really, Canton restaurant, the Canton Dragon Chinese restaurant?

Yes.

Now, could you explain to me the difference between Cantonese and Mandarin, please?

What?

People, and the food first.

Oh, the food is like...

Bad people demand Mandarins, right?

No.

So the Cantonese are bad?

They're both not bad.

They're both...

People like American people, the same dude, like, people and bad people, you know?

Yeah.

But they...

What do you mean?

Because I heard the Cantonese are like the niggers of China or something like that.

Someone was telling me they were dark-skinned and that, like, they would steal your wallet.

If I was in an elevator and a Cantonese person got on the elevator, would I be...

Would I probably, like, grab my purse and hold it close to me?

Depends on what place are you.

So what are you?

Are you Mandarinian or Cantonese?

I'm Cantonese.

Yeah?

So it depends on what place you were born.

Even in the United States, people still own your wallet, too,

but it just depends on the place that you are.

No, but the Cantonese people, they do more crime than the Mandarin people, I heard.

That I got no idea.

Why don't you know?

What are you?

Aren't you proud of your nation and your country of Canton?

I've been here almost like 20 years already, so I don't know the place.

I mean, like, I don't know how the peoples are doing right now.

And, I mean, like, everything's, like, going so fast.

A lot of people, they have, like, a lot of money.

But some of them, they're so poor and all kinds of stuff like that.

They're so poor?

It just depends on the place or where you live and, you know.

They have a pool?

So, I'm just, like, they're Cantonese, so they're bad.

Okay.

The Mandarin is all good.

No, not like that.

They're not good at all, no.

Who would win in a fight, the Cantonese or the Mandarinians?

Who would win in a fight?

Like if in China, the Mandaenese and the Cantonese got into a fight, it won't be a good fight, right?

Can you tell the difference between the Mandaenese and the Cantonese?

Can you tell?

Well, what's the difference?

The difference is, I mean, they're the same.

Just like the language is different.

Really?

The way it's different.

They talk different.

Even the word is the same thing, but the way that they talk is different.

Okay.

For me, it's like Cantonese, but I do know a little bit of the Mandaenese.

But some people, they don't know Mandaenese at all.

So, and they're so difficult.

Okay.

Well, that's interesting.

How do you ask in Cantonese, let's compare.

In Cantonese, how would you ask how much are the feminine napkins?

How would you say that in Cantonese?

What?

Are the feminine napkins.

How much are the feminine napkins?

How would you say that in Cantonese?

What's that mean?

You know what a feminine napkin is?

Uh-uh.

It is the napkin that the woman puts down there when she's on her cycle.

I think you got the wrong number.

No, this is the Cantonese people.

Oh, man.

All right, we're going to call her back and get some clarification.

Actually, this is important stuff to know, Bobby.

Gotta know how to say...

All you women out there gotta know how to say these things and can these.

They own half the country as it is now.

You could ask to take a colostomy bag instead of a napkin.

Yeah? Okay.

There we go.

Colostomy bag.

Maven says Mandarin.

You know, G4 TV reported that he might make an appearance in the next Iron...

Who's the man?

I don't know.

I don't know much about man.

Two ad minutes to your card.

Shut up.

Didn't he kill someone

I don't know

I don't know much

About Iron Man

I can't help you out

With that sir

I don't know

I heard it was

A good comic book

I kind of know

Who Mandarin is

He's just basically

Just like a

He's just like a

Chinese mystic

Kind of guy

But that's all

I really know about

It's a Joker card scene

He's a guy

I heard he doesn't

Really have

The great

Like a gallery of

Weapons

And like

Sheep

And bullets

and bullets, and all kinds of stuff.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A guy with, that's, that's, that's...

Conjured dragons and shit.

But isn't that the Green Lantern?

Doesn't he have the rings?

It could work.

Why has Marvel got to steal, you know, DC's flavor all the time?

What's that?

No, it's Amanda's.

I don't know what that's about.

I don't know.

That's been to Crossover somewhere down the line.

Tug, you're the comic book expert.

What's better?

Who's regarded as the most balls, DC or Marvel?

because from what

I understand

Marvel comics

DC is more

because all DC

had going for it

was Batman

right

for the most part

all DC had

that was cool

was Batman

everything else

sucks

Superman was gay

Batman was the

different league

well

DC also had

Vertigo

and people who

liked the Sandman

and Neil Gaiman

and Preacher

was Preacher DC

because Preacher

was cool

Preacher was that

alcoholic priest

right

Preacher was that

alcoholic priest

or whatever

yeah yeah yeah

And then Who Did Spawn was like a totally different, like a third-party kind of comic book.

Oh, Blazer and all that.

Who Did Spawn, that was like a different image, right?

That one was Todd McFarlane, which was Image.

Image, right.

And that was Todd McFarlane's comic book.

Yeah, I remember that.

Spawn was cool.

I remember Spawn.

Preacher was a good comic book.

My old roommate was a big fan of Preacher.

But you know what?

In the 90s and the 90s and the 1000s, there was all kinds of crossovers between the different

companies, their stories, and that's fairly possible.

I don't know if that's true, but it's possible that they could have stole rings from Green Lantern or Vice Marissa.

Who knows, man?

I remember once they actually merged DC and Marvel characters together to create their own characters.

They fought each other, and then the characters were together.

Dude, like...

And you know what?

The biggest bullshit...

It was Hulk versus Superman, right?

And it was the gayest fight.

Like, Superman beat him.

Like, they just did one punch, and Superman beat him.

That was it.

I was like, come on, man.

Yeah.

You've got to be kidding me, dude.

Yeah.

Well, yeah.

Hulk versus Superman, and then Batman and Captain America.

That was a good fight.

I remember that one was pretty good.

And didn't, like, Robin and some other one fall in love or something?

Like, the two that were supposed to fight fell in love or something?

don't know.

I just...

Oh, that was Batman

fell in love with Robin.

And then apparently now

there's going to be a Mortal Kombat...

They merged Batman with Wolverine.

Batman and Wolverine?

They merged Batman with Wolverine

Oh, geez, come on

And they merged them into

Batarang or some shit like that

Oh, God, that sucks

They merged

They actually fused them together

Like Storm and Wonder Woman

Get fused together

Yeah, so, yeah

There's Zars mentioned in Marvel vs. Capcom

The Teen Titans and the X-Men

They get fused together

Marvel vs. Capcom

Was a very good crossover arcade game

You know, it started off with

X-Men vs. Street Fighter

then became, what was it, after that was X-Men

versus Capcom, and then it was Marvel

versus Capcom, and then Marvel versus Capcom 2.

And now the bullshit, it really

pisses me off. Now Mortal Kombat's gonna do

Mortal Kombat versus DC Comics,

and they're gonna have Superman. It's like,

come on, who's gonna beat Superman?

I mean, are they gonna make it so Superman's powers

are, like, weakened somehow or something?

Because Superman will kill everybody.

Oh, so that's a Kryptonite ring? That bullshit move?

If you're gonna tell me, like, Raiden

and Scorpion are gonna be able to beat Superman

man up then you got something coming that's all i gotta say that's gonna be retarded that rings i

mean okay i guess so so yeah that it looks it looks kind of whack sub-zero omega mark hell

yeah the most awesome fatality i think was always sub-zeros man in the first mortal combat ripped

the head right off with the spine that was awesome awesome that was you know how did i don't even

remember how i remember scorpions you held down block and you did up up i think that was it right

Right?

Block and up, up.

And he did the thing.

He pulled off his mask and he spit the fire out and he burnt you up.

I remember that, man.

Hell yeah.

Fatality.

You got a lot of points for fatalities in the first game, too.

Dude, we're talking some bullshit.

Let's go back to the prank calls, all right?

We had a weak prank call there at the beginning.

Hollywood.

Hollywood calling.

Hollywood Vine is going to call in.

I keep missing his call.

Let me turn the ringer on so I can see when he's calling in.

Hollywood Vine is going to call in in a moment, I'm sure, here.

And he's going to catch up and do some pranks.

There he is.

That's probably him right there.

If not, then someone else beat him to it.

No, Dan, that's Hollywood Vanya.

Hollywood Vanya, you know, sir.

Madhouse Radio, the short bus of prank calls.

Yes, sir.

Were you a big arcade short bus of prank calls?

Were you good?

Four or so.

Were you good?

Yeah, man.

I actually worked...

I used to know the Nintendo World Champion.

It was Thor Ackerlin.

Thor?

He and I would go back and forth between Mortal Kombat 1 and 2 and Street Fighter 2.

All right, so what did you prefer?

I was a Mortal Kombat fan, even though it wasn't as structured as Street Fighter 2.

Mortal Kombat 2, I believe, altogether, was like the best of those 2D fighters in the 90s.

Mortal Kombat was the first one that had fatalities, the first one that had like a big butt and everything.

Yeah.

It also had, I mean, Johnny Cage, Raiden, and Kano were the first ones that you could actually get somebody trapped in the corner, up in the air, and completely take all of their energy away.

Yeah, the juggling.

Remember, they came up with version 1.2 and you couldn't do that anymore.

Yeah, yeah, they got rid of it after, yeah, that's right, they had the face stickers,

you could just sit there and get it done.

And also, the first version, Johnny Cage could knock off multiple heads, remember that?

Yeah, he would do like the three fatalities and he did three heads, yeah, yeah, and I

remember, that was kind of like him.

I don't know anything about, I don't know.

And Mortal Kombat 2, Mortal Kombat 3 sucked and I didn't play anymore after that.

Well, 4 was kind of cool because Qui-Gon Jinn, one of his, uh...

Qui-Gon Jinn?

Not Qui-Gon Jinn, um, Quan Chi, I mean Star Wars, Quan Chi would, he would rip your

your leg off

as you fell down

your own leg

crazy hell yeah

but yeah Mortal Kombat 2

all around

that was really good

and I did

I actually did like

Super Street Fighter 2

I really liked

oh fuck it

who was the

the Bruce Lee

looking guy

Faye Long

he was kind of

he was a really cool fighter

oh no

Faye Long

tall Indian guy sucked

he was like

another Zangief

or whatever

Zangief

anyway man

so how are you

feeling better

I know last week

you were sick

you were out of action

you were hanging out

but you were out of action

Mutuel Comprehende

Better Deja Vu

that's good

that's good man

you finally watched

Iron Man

we were just talking

about that

you said you got that

well I've got

actually I have it

sitting right here

on my desk

I don't have a chance

to watch it

I got that

Leatherheads

and Pathology

sitting on my desk

right now

Leatherheads

is that the football movie

yeah with George Clooney

and Renee Zellweger

yeah Fina says

she wanted to watch that

because it was

I was like

you want to watch

a football movie

oh no

I heard on Oprah

it's a romantic movie

I wanted to mention

here real quick

Oh, Oprah gave me the okay

We got this in the mail today

Because Oprah gave me the okay

Yeah, as soon as Oprah gives you the okay, Tuck's got a point

You know how that is

We got this in the mail, a DVD

A documentary called Obsession

Radical Islam's War Against the West

I don't know if anybody's seen it here

But I got it in the mail, I don't know how

They got my address or whatever it is

I gave it to them

Oh, you fucker, you

It says here

Winner of the Best Featured Film 2005 Liberty Film Festival.

Never heard of it.

Official Selection of the Newport Beach Film Festival.

I don't know how, I don't know why they sent it to me,

but it's, I started watching it,

and it's basically like, you know, Christian propaganda

about radical Islam and this and that and how evil they are and stuff.

I don't know, man.

I don't know.

Are you going to be voting this year?

You don't have to tell us who you're voting for.

I'm just curious.

I'm trying to get people's temperature.

Do you vote?

Yeah, I'm still kind of weighing out which way I'm going.

That's good.

You should do that, man.

Just, you know, take your time.

Make sure you make the right decision, whoever it's for.

Yeah.

I'm kind of concerned.

I was on campus the other day, and there were, you know, I'm an Obama.

Actually, I donated $20 to the Obama campaign three days ago.

I should be getting my car magnet pretty soon.

I'm going to put in my nice new car, nice blue Obama.

I've never, ever contributed to a political campaign.

This is the first one.

I actually donated $20 to Obama for America.

Somebody sent me a joke today you'll really enjoy.

What's that? Tell me.

They said Obama, he's going up to the pearly gates.

He knocks on the door.

He's like, let me in, let me in.

They're like, who are you?

He's like, I'm Barack Obama.

He's like, Barack Obama, who's that?

He goes, I'm the United States President.

He goes, when were you the United States President?

There's already been some people that have.

Remember those guys that were?

Yeah, but that was nothing.

God, they caught some rednecks with their sniper gun, you know, sniper.

They were the same guys that did the Abominable Snowman.

Yeah, no doubt, yeah.

Yeah, Dino had a good point.

We were talking a few months ago on the air,

and then Dino said, you know, there's just good,

man, they're just, they're going to let that guy get elected,

and then they're going to let him fix the country,

then they'll kill him.

I'm just going to laugh again.

Probably, yeah.

That's the consolation.

Probably.

And so who are we going to vote?

I'm kind of concerned right now.

I was at the, at school, and the Obama folks were there.

They came up to me and said,

hey, do you want to register to vote?

And I said, I'm already registered.

I said, do you need to change your address?

And I said, matter of fact, yeah, I do.

I've had, you know, I'm still registered to vote on my parents' address, different part of the state.

It's like 30, 45, 30, 45 minutes away.

So on election day, I usually get out of work, and I drive out to where my parents live, and I vote,

and then I have dinner with them, and I come back home.

It's kind of a pain.

So anyway, I decided, yeah, sure, why not, you know, because the voting place here is right down the street.

I could walk there if I wanted to.

I went ahead and did that three, four weeks ago, and I still have not received my new voter registration card.

So I don't know if I'm supposed to go to the old place or the new place.

I think McCain stopped it.

Well, McCain, like, stopped it in his tracks.

Yeah, he grabbed your voter card.

Can you confirm?

We're rigging the Florida election again.

Maybe.

Can I confirm where I'm registered to vote?

Because what I'm mostly concerned is that I'm going to go to the old place

and I'm going to say, you're not registered here.

Then I'm going to go to the new place

and they're just going to give me some provisional ballot or something

that's not even going to get counted because I live in Florida

where none of our votes get counted.

I don't know.

So I'm kind of concerned about that.

I think it's too late to even register to vote now.

So they screwed me up

And that's Obama's campaign

I'm going to be really pissed off if I can't vote

Or if my vote gets fucked up

Because of them

Oh sure we'll change your address for you

I was like yeah I really should take care of it myself

At the courthouse

But yeah I guess I'll trust you guys

And here we are now

And they're like do you want to volunteer

And I was like I already did

I did some phone banking for the Obama campaign a few weeks ago

And I told them oh well good for you

And they were done with me

They didn't want to hear from me anymore

more, so, whatever, hey, let's do some prank calls, Hollywood, man, come on, come on, let's

get on it, uh, what are you, I got some Greek restaurants here, gyro places, I got some

Chinese, uh, places, and, uh, we got some, we got some, we got some burger places here

too, now, you know me, I like, uh, for the moment, all right, there we go, so, I'm gonna,

I just messaged you, gave you a whole bunch of numbers there, yeah, all right, so, I'm

thinking, uh, we can do planet gyros, because that sounds like a gyro place where you can,

where you can go on the treadmill

and eat your gyro at the same time.

That sounds awesome, you know?

Planet Gyro.

Wipeout.

Hell yeah.

Did you see Wipeout?

Yeah.

The season finale?

Yeah.

With the awards and stuff.

That was kind of cool.

I'm pissed off, man.

The Terminator,

the last episode,

my DVR screwed up.

I only recorded nine minutes of it.

Oh, man.

Our DVR recorded

all of the season episode

of Halcyon the night.

The last five minutes.

So we didn't get to hear

what that speech was.

Oh, really?

I don't watch House.

Do you watch House?

I don't watch House at all now.

Okay.

Yeah, I do know that the Weeds finale was, I saw that this week, excellent finale.

I'm looking forward to the next two seasons.

It's signed on for two more seasons through Showtime, so if you're a big fan of Weeds,

you'll have that to look forward to.

This week, Shield, I did watch that.

I was kind of happy.

I thought there was a little bit of bad acting there upon Vic Mikey's part, but it's still

starting to heat up a little bit.

It's looking good.

And, of course, then I missed the Terminator episode, so there we are.

Okay, let's call the planet gyros.

I know everybody, you're waiting for prank calls.

We did a lot of bullshit talking last week, so we're going to do some pranks now.

Hang on, man.

We're all going, all right?

Not allowed to go anywhere.

Stay there.

We're going to have to terminate the call, Ryan.

Ryan, terminate the call, please.

All right.

What about we'll do Mikey's Greek gyros instead?

Yeah, that's cool.

I got it.

More blues traveler.

Hang on there.

Athena's family heard me say gyros would be pissed.

Oh, we got a confirmation on the menu for the wedding reception.

Yeah, is the manager in, please?

Yes, she is.

You know a woman in manager?

Hi, this is Louise.

Louise?

Yeah.

My name is Chris.

I brought myself, my cousin's nephew's wife in there, and also my wife as well.

I don't know what you guys are trying to pull, but are you guys selling beef in there?

My cousin is deathly allergic to beef, and after having your sandwich,

which he is in the hospital right now.

I want to know right now, are you guys selling beef or not?

Yeah, it's a beef and lamb combination.

It says on the thing that the gyro meat is beef and lamb.

Where do you get off selling beef when a gyro has nothing to do with beef?

It's supposed to be lamb.

That's how they make it, lamb combination.

Okay, well, they should have told that when we came over there.

They should have known that he was allergic to beef.

Now he's in the hospital.

He died.

Are you happy about that?

Well, of course I'm not happy about that,

but it says on our menu that gyro meat is a beef and lamb combination.

We told them ahead of time that he was allergic to beef, and they gave it to him anyway.

We told them strictly just lamb, and they gave him the lamb and beef.

No, don't make excuses.

Don't make excuses.

I'm not.

This is serious.

I don't know.

I don't know who took your order.

I know.

I don't know who.

It was some girl.

She was blonde.

Ma'am, we are going to need to get you guys to come to the hospital and see him.

My cousin, I think, is on his deathbed.

Because we told you guys that is the case.

We need somebody to come up here.

hopefully you being the manager

or possibly the owner

to come up here

and stay by his side tonight.

Do you have any plans tonight, Louise?

I would have said...

Louise, do you have any plans?

Do you have any plans tonight?

I'm here working right now.

Great.

Well, you're going to be up here

by his side when you get off, right?

We'll do what we can

if I get done with work.

Great.

Well, we'll see.

What time do you get off?

Well, I'm just doing a catering right now, so...

Okay.

Well, what time do you get done with that?

Around 10.30.

You're making excuses now, aren't you?

No.

When is the owner coming in?

When is the owner going to be there?

You are the owner.

So you're the manager and the owner.

I need you to come up here.

At least tell him I'm sorry before he dies.

Well, because I need to find out who was saying that, because that's not the case.

Okay, well, no, we told him ahead of time he was not supposed to have any beef,

and they put beef, apparently, in his sandwich.

Now, you have a blonde girl.

Zero meat, one kind of meat, so they should know that there's no way to separate it.

Here's the deal.

It was a blonde girl taking our order.

We told her, you know who I'm talking about?

I don't, yeah.

Yeah, I don't have one blonde person here right now.

Okay.

I will try to find out who could have been here.

Okay.

All of the people have brown hair here.

And I don't have a blonde employee, but, like, I will, yeah, I don't have a blonde employee.

You need to find out who it was.

Oh, I do.

Because I want to interview.

Okay.

But she knows that.

Well, see.

She left here at 3.30.

I'd like to have her come up here and stand by us tonight, too.

Okay.

Was that, like, before 3.30?

Yes, it was.

Today?

It was right around 1.

Okay.

Well, between 4.30 and 1 is when my lunch was.

And I know who it was, because we only have a blonde person that works here in the daytime.

Okay, great.

I'll be expecting you guys up here at the hospital.

You're Louise, right?

What's her name?

What's the blonde girl's name?

Her name's Vicky.

I'm expecting to see a Vicky and Louise up here, room 227.

Thank you very much.

Bye-bye.

I'm going to tell Paul he dies.

Oh, man, we've got breaking news here from the Obama campaign.

Email just coming in from the Obama Action Wire.

I don't know why I'm announcing this.

I get updates, I get tweets, I get emails.

Carlos, that's my real name if you didn't know.

Now that John McCain has realized his campaign will be about change,

he's claiming he'll take on the old boys' network in Washington.

There's only one problem.

With seven of the most powerful Washington lobbyists running his campaign from the top,

taking on the old boys' network is in a fight at a staff meeting, etc., etc.

Look at that. That says something else.

Obama's now, he's coming on strong, he's not holding back.

He's putting the pedal to the metal, the metal to the meat, so to say.

Let's see the Democrats, you know, finally getting some balls.

The broom to the broom?

Yeah, the broom to the floor.

Yeah, man, good work, Hollywood.

I'm thinking I'm going to try to call back after we'll do another call,

and then I'll call back, and I'll call back.

Was it your cousin?

He was a doctor. He's dead now.

Was it your cousin? I was going to call Jack Matterson.

The lawyer.

Almost dead.

Oh, shit, all right.

He's going to be taking his last breath,

so we figured you might want to tell him goodbye over the phone.

Yeah.

We should get him on.

Hang on.

Let me put him on.

Here's his last wish.

You boys are mean.

This is going to get a beating.

So you saw what else we have there.

What do you want to do?

You want to do that burger, the Blazing Onion Burger Company?

That sounds weird.

I don't know.

A Chinese restaurant, The Wonderful House?

Sounds kind of good.

The Wonderful House.

Okay, that's Chinese, you know.

Yeah.

And they're in Rock Springs, Wyoming, as I said, the home of the Wyoming Fried Chicken.

Hey, real quick question.

I held off because I've been busy.

I held off on editing the 9-11 show from last week because you said you were going to.

Are you doing that still, or should I go ahead and edit it?

Well, I cut the pranks out.

I cut the calls.

I left them at work, and I was off today.

Okay, that's cool.

I can go back and try to edit them.

I sure want to have time, maybe Monday.

That's fine.

I'll do the show.

Yeah, I didn't do it because I thought you might be uploading the show or something,

the whole show itself.

So I'll do it myself.

No problem.

It takes me like 15 minutes.

I can actually see where I cut it out.

It's all marked up.

So it's all good.

So the podcast listeners who are listening live, I've got like three emails already.

I sent one to Milkman.

People are like, where's the podcast?

People are really into the podcast.

If you happen to be listening live, it'll be updated by Saturday.

Yeah, they get pissed off when it's a show.

Oh, dude, they get pissed.

I got a guy, he's like, fuck, dude, I listen to my bike.

He's like, I listen to your show on my bike.

You better re-upload it, man.

Oh, I did want to mention, October 2nd, there will not be a live show.

So not next week, but the week after.

No live show.

We're going to be missing a show.

We're going to have to make some kind of schedule for the podcast.

Yeah, I know.

Oh, really?

Yeah, no live show on 10-2.

This week or next week?

Next week will be on, and then we're taking another week off.

So mark that on your calendars

Maybe I'll

You know what I think I'll do

It's been a while since I've done a best of

You guys remember we used to do best of episodes

Whenever I missed a show

And they were always fun

An intersperser with a little bit of music

And this and that

And I've got a lot of content

We haven't done a best of in over a year

So maybe I'll do that

Maybe I'll make a best of

And put it on rotation

Maybe so you guys have something to listen to

So yeah that's look forward to

No man house in two weeks

And, of course, we've got to put up the Satan.

Everyone visit madhouselive.com.

Go to the forums.

You'll see all our pranks there.

And the madhouse archivist, Hollywood Von, who's on the line now,

helps us out with all the pranks.

Man, it's an awesome service you do, man.

Thanks.

Appreciate it, man.

I love being serviced myself.

Hey, who doesn't, man?

Who doesn't?

There you go.

All right, let's go.

Let's do another prank here.

We're going to call that Chinese, right?

Wonderful House, Chinese in Rock Springs, Wyoming.

Let's get another song here in the...

Everybody used to think of him as...

There we go.

A little bit of Sean Lennon.

More like a bum, sort of.

A musical bum than anything else.

Yes, ma'am.

Do you deliver?

Hi, we don't deliver anymore.

Oh, that's okay.

I can come pick it up then.

I was just trying to save a little bit of time.

I need to place an order, please.

Yes.

Can you pick up before 9.30?

I can surely be there.

Hey, you ready?

Yeah.

Can I go ahead and place my order?

Okay, here's what I'd like

I'm a recent diabetic

So I need to know

Is there anything that you have

That has no MSG

Plus sugar

Do you have anything with no MSG at all

We can make everything no MSG

Okay

We can make that no MSG

Okay, wonderful

Now, do you have anything that has low sugar

Low sugar

Yeah, low sugar

Low sugar

You want low sugar and no MSG

I can die in the check, then they can make it.

Now, if you have to add a little bit of MSG to take care of the sugar, then that's okay.

Can you guys do that?

Replace the MSG with the sugar?

Because MSG is not as bad for a diabetic than the sugar is.

So if you can replace the MSG with sugar, or, you know,

if you can replace a little bit of starchiness with the MSG, take place with sugar,

maybe you could do that as well.

Okay.

Can you do that?

Yeah, how is it?

No, no.

In fact, now that I think about it, if you take a little bit of potassium from the rice

and take that out and add the MSG, take care of the sugar, that'll work even better.

Can you guys do that tonight?

Excuse me, can I help you, ma'am?

Yes, hello.

Hello, yes, can I help you?

Yes, I was wondering, do you guys deliver?

No, I'm sorry, we don't have any delivery.

Oh, wait, she just told me that.

Okay, I have just been diagnosed recently with diabetes, okay?

Mm-hmm.

And I was wondering, can you take out anything with sugar?

Do you have anything with sugar?

Because there's sugar in rice, is that right?

Yeah, rice is...

Okay. Now, if you can take the sugar out of the rice, add some potassium, and a little bit of MSG to cover the sugar up, will that work?

Is that better for a diabetic?

No, because inside the rice already have sugar.

Okay. Can you take the sugar out of the rice individually, then cook it, then add the MSG and a little bit of potassium,

and bring that sugar back up a little bit so that there's a balance in there?

No, because the rice, the rice when we steam already, it has sugar.

Because I don't know about the process.

With the chemical process, we can remove the sugar.

Because I think it's for 10% rice.

Okay, you talk too much.

Okay, here's the deal.

Can I make an order to deliver with, like, M&M fried rice?

Any delivery.

Okay.

No, I'm just saying, can I pick it up then?

Can I make an order?

Yeah, you can pick it up.

Okay, so can I have some M&M fried rice then?

Fried rice? No, I'm sorry, he cannot do the rice.

You can't make rice?

Just steamed rice, only steamed rice, steamed rice with sugar, not anything.

Okay, so can you take some steamed rice, steamed rice, add a little bit of sugar, and some MSG.

Yeah, steamed rice, you need to put a little bit of sugar.

Steamed rice, add about a pound of sugar, so a little bit of MSG, maybe some starchiness on the top of that.

Can you put some tomatoes in there as well?

Okay.

I'm really looking for a diabetic.

All you need with the rice.

Oh, you know what would be even better?

If you take the, if you had the sugar, can you add a little, can you add anything to bring the taste down?

Okay.

Hello, I'm a Habiro.

Hello, sir.

Do you speak English?

This is my Habiro.

Do you speak Chinese?

Do you want to speak English or do you want to speak Chinese?

Do you speak Chinese?

No, I don't.

Okay, what do you speak besides English?

Right.

Speak any other language?

What do you want, ma'am?

I don't understand.

You don't understand me?

Good, because I don't understand me either.

Do you deliver?

No, we don't.

Okay, you're the third person I've asked that said they don't deliver.

So at least you guys are consistent.

Okay, can you go ahead and just make me what I just ordered?

I need some M&M fried rice, okay?

What's that?

How soon can I get that?

Okay, what do you want, ma'am?

I said M&M fried rice.

Are you, are you, what, you can't see and you can't hear?

What's going on?

M&M fried rice?

M&M fried rice, thank you.

I'll be there in five minutes, okay?

What, M&M fried rice?

M&M fried rice.

We don't have it.

Okay, well, I'll bring my own M&Ms and you make the, you make the rice and I'll be there in five minutes, okay?

Okay, bye.

Okay, bye-bye.

The fuck is M&M fried rice?

I don't know.

I'm not kidding you, that might, that actually sounds kind of good as a dessert rice.

I might be into that.

Got a little bit of rice, a little bit of oil, a little bit of fried.

M&M.

Hell yeah.

Yeah, that sounds fucking good.

That guy's like, oh, hello.

Hello, hello.

How does that guy not speak Chinese?

What is he, Italian or something?

I don't know.

Get out of here.

He probably speaks Mandarin.

Get out of here.

That's what it is, right?

Yeah.

I don't speak Cantonese.

I speak Mandalorian.

All right, let's call back.

I'm going to talk to, who did we call?

Who was the last prank call?

It was Mikey's, right?

Mikey's Greek?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, you told her you were going to put your, was it your cousin in the hospital?

My cousin, yeah.

Okay, good.

I wish we had the sound effect like in a hospital kind of incubator in the background, you know, like

Does it sound believable?

That's one of the greatest prank calls ever.

I got to find that and ask someone.

It's somewhere in the, somewhere in the law.

I didn't help you in any of those.

Folks, call back that Greek place.

We've been in that prank call.

Those who never heard of the end of prank call, we did it off the air after a show, me, Ted, and Milkman.

And Milkman's just so weird.

He's like so creepy sounding.

Like, oh, yeah.

Yeah, I'm driving around in my limousine half-naked.

We're going to have a good time.

This lady's all like, uh, what?

Lady in Britain.

Nobody can freak a lady out like Milkman can.

Is Milkman here anyway?

Hey, Ted's here.

Cornelius is here.

You're my lawyer, right?

I'm the guy in the hospital.

Oh, okay.

The cousin, who was he?

I didn't say the name.

Jack.

Frankie.

Jack, Jack, Jack.

My son.

At this time

He don't love me

You can hang up

At this time

Hello at this time

This is a good song

I want to say what's up to Ted Webb and Cornelius

Cornelius from the movie

Planet of the Apes

Yeah Planet of the Apes too

Remember Fight Club

That was Meatloaf wasn't it

No no no

That was Robert Paulson or something like that

that was um

oh yeah yeah yeah

I'm sorry

you know that character

that was one of his names

that was one of his fake names

yeah the character

he didn't have a name

in the whole movie

I don't think they ever

said his real name

in the whole damn movie

yeah he was Jack

wasn't he like

I am Jack's

Abla Mangata

or whatever

yeah Jack

Abla Mangata

and then

he was

he called himself

Cornelius

I remember

once Mila was like

Cornelius

you know

Cornelius

yeah

man boobs comes up

man boobs

he's a big sweaty

man boob hug

That is an awesome movie.

It's one of my picks.

Yeah.

Yeah, man.

Oh, man.

If you've never seen...

I know everybody out there has to have seen Fight Club.

I saw it twice in a movie theater.

I loved Fight Club before it was cool to like Fight Club

because that movie failed in a box office

and it should not have...

I saw it on a whim.

Me and my friends, we were like,

let's go see this Fight Club movie.

What's this about?

Because we were big fans of Robert...

What's his name?

Not Norton.

Is it Robert Norton?

Ed Norton, yeah.

Ed Norton.

And we went to see the movie

I had seen him before in American History X

And I went to see that

And I was like, wow, that's a damn good movie

I told all my friends about it

And I said, hell, I want to see it again

And the illusionist

illusionist can't say i've seen that what was it is that about uh about that

All right, we're back everybody. Sorry about that. Hang on. Let me get hollywood back in line. Hollywood. Are you there?

We fixed it. I don't know what happened the pc froze on me, but

Just uh, make sure the cam is back on and they're back on the mouse stream. We should be back on syndicate

All right, give me some if you see me give me some wands see me here

here. If there's some reason, let us know immediately, please.

Post haste. Okay, so

where were we at? We were going to call back that

Mikey's gyros, that's right?

Yeah. Alright, folks.

Sorry about the problems. Just a moment.

Another prank call coming up at House Radio

Part 2 for the night. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Did we get to mention,

did that go out on the air when we were talking about CrazyFucker

and we made our demands about him coming back?

Did we do that? I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I heard it.

So, no. CrazyFuckerBand.

I heard it on here, but I had been

This hasn't gone down

Yeah

Crazy fucker band

We don't appreciate

It being banned

Exactly

Dude we lost

A whole bunch of listeners

During that

During the Madhouse stream

The problem being

We lost

For some reason

My stream

Doesn't no longer

Plays that little

Standby thing

If it goes offline

It used to play

That little jingle

You know

It stopped doing that

Excuse me

I don't know why

So there

Yeah I see the number

Is starting to come back up

So we're back on folks

Thank you

Hang on

We're going to do

Another prank call

In just a moment

Although I can see

you why he got banned of course of course you could who couldn't see why but he's listening

he'll be joining us shortly folks oh good it's almost he can give his explanation it is almost

sandwich time though so mean to him in the chat room i will let you know it is it is almost

sandwich time though i talked to you earlier he is on his last leg and i was hoping you would

talk to i was i'm gonna come down there like i'm just getting everything off of this so he's on

On the phone, he's, he's, let me give the phone to him.

I want to make sure that you at least tell him that you're sorry.

Hang on, here he is.

We are beyond sorry.

Jack, this is Louise from Mikey's Heroes.

Oh.

Hello, Tina?

No, my name is Louise.

Tina, I ate this, ate this food and they had to refood it.

I'm sorry, I'm not going to make it to your birthday, sweetie.

Make it.

I'm not going to make it to your birthday, sweetheart.

I'm so sorry.

I'm going to make it.

When you were, when you were, when you were like nine months old, they dropped you on your head.

I'm so sorry, Tina.

Oh, gosh.

Tina.

Why does that hurt?

Tina, are you there?

Tina, he's not talking to me.

Hello, Louise?

Hello.

Louise, he's in so much pain right now.

He's hurting so bad.

There.

You can laugh with me.

Will you please bring me another one of those gyros, those succulent gyros of yours?

Succulent gyro?

Yeah.

Will you put some vaginal juice on it?

Some what?

Vaginal juice on it.

Only if you want me to.

Yeah, I would like it.

Ready to call Ryan?

She's gone.

Ryan terminates the call.

Wow.

Oh, my God.

You don't think she's coming now?

Yeah.

It looks like a...

I don't think so.

I think she got it.

It looks like Crazy Fucker

finally made it in the chat room.

Breaking news, Crazy Fucker.

All right, good call.

All right, Milkman is going to take a break.

You too, man.

Always good to have you on, my friend.

Have a good one.

Hollywoodvineyard.com

Yes, sir.

.net.com.org.everything

.biz

See you, man.

Yeah.

All right, that's Hollywood, everybody.

Good to hear from Hollywood.

All right.

Biz.biz

Hollywoodbiz.biz

Biz.biz

We lost about 30 listeners

during that whole unfortunate episode that happened

with the loss of the stream, but we're...

The podcast is for...

That's what the podcast is for.

The sad thing is, I don't know how much we missed altogether.

Hopefully you guys didn't miss a lot of show.

But anyway, regardless, we'll be back.

What was that, Milkman?

I think I know.

As a matter of fact, Milkman, if you get some...

You know, some of our listeners...

Liverpool even heard it's really good.

Some of our listeners were upset last week we didn't do any U.K. calls.

Well, we have Kenneth Tracy coming up after the break here in the U.K.

Yeah, Milkman, send in the international card if you could.

Please do.

Yeah, so we got Kenneth coming up after the break.

We're going to make up for last week.

We got some calls to the U.K.

We do a special thing here called the U.K. Wake Up where we wake up people in the United Kingdom.

We have Kenneth Tracy, Melissa Tracy, Marjorie Doyle, and Jacqueline Warren all coming up next after the break.

We'll be gone for about five or six, no, about four or five minutes, as a matter of fact.

Also on deck, we also have the Blazing Onion Burger Company.

We've got Herphy's Burger and Teriyaki.

We've got Bing's Bodacious Burgers here as well.

We've got a lot of prank calls we can do.

You can always reach us here on AOL and Yahoo Instant Messenger, Madhouse Radio.

If you're using AOL and Yahoo Instant Messenger, again, please message me on Madhouse Radio.

If you're using MSN Messenger, the screen name there is madhouseatlive.com.

Again, MSN Messenger users, madhouseatlive.com.

And the toll-free line, that is none other than 1-888-278-8509.

Again, the toll-free line is 1-888-278-8509.

Also, after the break, Crazy Fucker will be joining us.

And also, Reclude will probably be making an appearance as well.

We're looking forward to that.

And we'll be taking your calls and prior call requests.

Be sure to visit madhouselive.com and be sure to stay tuned to syndicateradio.tv, syndicateradio.transvestite.

So as I said, we'll be back in a few minutes.

Please, folks, don't go anywhere.

We're having fun here, you know.

There's only Carlito and Milkman and Madhouse and Tuck and everyone else does.

We'll be right back in a moment.

Thank you very much for listening.

We'll be back.

Thursday night, we'll be back.

Back, back, back.

We'll be back.

right after this.

You don't talk to me like that, bitch.

I don't even know who the fuck this is.

Why don't you pan on the fuck, Dad?

What are you crying for?

Because that one died.

This radio is live Thursday nights at 10 p.m. Eastern.

Why don't you shut the hell up?

Yo, you fucking...

Be sure to visit us online at madhouselive.com.

Hello from the royal family.

Marving down.

Need your best.

Hello to me at once.

Yeah, yeah.

A dress.

Dress me as sir.

Salt royal.

Almost spinniest.

Yeah.

And you will prepare a suite at the royal order of the Queen Mother.

Sorry, I haven't got one.

What do you mean you haven't got one?

Our house suites are full up.

What? Do you know who you're speaking with?

Yes, but our suites are full.

Listen, this is the Queen we're talking about.

There is no such thing as a full suite.

You said the Queen Mother, and the Queen Mother, I'm afraid, is dead.

What?

You told me the Queen Mother. The Queen Mother is dead.

The new Queen Mother, you batty bastard.

Queen Mother. We haven't got a Queen Mother.

Hey, a fax wipe, thirsty?

F-U-O, you poofed up.

The Queen Mother died in 2002, Reckwood.

Was it in 2001 or 2000?

Call in toll free at 1-888-278-8509.

You know what, I hope that when you die, they put your GPS in your box.

And a trap door at the bottom.

So when you die, you open that trap door at the bottom.

You'll check the GPS, and you'll go straight down to the hell.

Madhouse Radio is back.

You are bigger than a woman.

You are better than a woman.

We'll always be behind you.

Do not let a woman ever, ever make you hear you.

Oh, that is weird.

We lost syndicate again.

Now it won't even connect to it.

Jesus Christ.

They know where you are.

They know where I'm at.

They know where you are.

I made some Hot Pockets and I can't eat them.

The break was too short.

I really want to eat my Hot Pockets, man.

This sucks.

Oh, they're hot.

Oh, man, it's so hot.

You should really wait about a minute or two before you eat your Hot Pocket after it comes out of the microwave.

I just burnt the shit out of the roof of my mouth.

Oh, man, that hurt.

I need some beer.

I don't know.

Always look out.

Stuff I got going on.

Yeah, I did, Milkman.

Thanks for the, um...

I did good stuff going on.

What's the link?

What's the link to the comic book?

Oh, tuckislove.blogspot.com.

It's a webcomic.

It's no webcomic.

I've been putting up.

And, uh, you know,

putting up the, the, the newer stuff for a while.

And just check it out and comment and like it, hate it, whatever.

Well, hell yeah.

Tuck is love, you know, man.

That's what they say.

Okay.

All right, I'm still trying to fix this here.

Everybody listen to this song

While we try to fix this

It is weird

Okay well

For some reason

We've lost the

Yeah for some reason

There's like no video

Now live right now

Like nobody's able

To broadcast right now

So

Alright well

We'll continue on here

Well

They know what

They're getting a hold of us

We're here over in

The 98.6

The mouth

You know

Madhouselive.com

Spread the word

If you're listening

anyway we're back everybody hey folks who's listening we've got a few listeners right now

of course uh ted i want to say what's up to ted ted are you around or you're just listening man

is ted over there uh he's he's laying down some more tile probably

knowing him oh good yeah ted the web

Ted the web oh the the casino place yeah not to find that number

hot cheese wow I got hot cheese on me I was I was meaning a hot pocket

but a string baby you know what hot cheese is a code word for cheese is a

the code word for this right here all right see what numbers we got here we've got a lot of uk

numbers here coming in from lonesome loser lonesome the loser of course the man himself

representing the 213 i don't know what that means he's representing la i don't even know what the

area code is from where he lives so don't ask me okay i'm a white guy what would you know white

people don't know what break codes are the phone book this is pretty gross i'm sorry folks i'm

eating here in la but i didn't have dinner tonight so eat dinner for me okay let's do this

Kenneth Tracy in the UK.

Let's give the UK a wake-up call here, why don't we?

I'll keep trying to connect Syndicate over here in the background.

Let me know if you guys see it pop up.

Just a moment, please.

Is that you?

Popping up things here pretty soon.

Yep.

I need to invite somebody to...

Just a moment.

What, Syndicate room right now, or is it just me?

Or says he can't shut his cam up.

He needs to pick his nose.

He can't shut his cam off, apparently.

Yeah, everything's frozen.

I don't know what happened.

All of a sudden, I went...

I think it might be actually Syndicate Radio's fault.

No, not Syndicate.

I think it's NowLives' fault.

Well, actually, it isn't.

It might be now live,

so the servers could have been just gun shit.

You never know.

Craziness.

Well, it's continuously trying to connect here in the background,

so we'll see if it picks up.

If not, then you know what it does.

Whatever.

We'll see if CrazyFooker calls us in.

How you doing, man?

What are those?

You sent a 911 call?

Did you really call 911, man?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

It's kind of from a sketch show

called The Whitest Kids You Know,

and so it's really fake, but it's funny.

Playing the marijuana ad real quick

Well I don't get it

I didn't get them

They didn't come through

Are you able to call

Without it sounding bad

Are you able to play it

Rather without it sounding bad

Probably

In a toll free number

So

Yeah I can talk you back

I can do that

Well let's just

Let's do some prank calls here real quick

You want to do that

You want to join in on some pranks

No I just called in

To pop in to say hello

Okay

I'm not

I

Hey

Hey hey

I got up at 4

I was shitting my pants

At 3.30 this morning

I literally woke up and I had brown in the back.

Really, man?

Yeah, it was that lovely.

What'd you eat?

But anyways, yeah.

Did you get some salmonella?

Well, dude, thanks for calling.

...virus again every month.

Leave the lines open, people.

Yeah, please tell us more about your city, uh, background.

Please tell us more about your gay period that you have once a month.

Please do.

Okay, we're calling the UK.

Kenneth Tracy, everybody.

Aw, man, Crazy Fucker's trying to call in, too.

Come on, Crazy Fucker, call in, buddy.

You can do it.

Crazy fucker is gonna call into the show

Actual Sprint Cole

I see it, man, I see it

Take it easy, milkman

Calmate hermano, calmate down

Calm it down, man

Simmer down now

Falling off the wagon this weekend, if you know what I mean

More detail, a little bit of

Is this canon?

Tracy, this is important

Take care, later

She's gonna get it for me

How good

How good do you do?

We had that the other day

What was that, right?

Doesn't it take like five seconds to hang up?

I don't know.

Coke and they sent an ambulance sound clip to play.

Awesome.

Let's play that right now.

Let's regroup here.

Let's call Melissa Tracy instead.

This is in England as well from Lonesome Loser, the man himself.

So it is confirmed Nile Live is having a spasm, as Zolar is saying.

So stay tuned for those who are crossing over from over at Nile Live.

Syndicate, we're over here.

Hello?

Melissa, may I speak with Melissa, please?

Do you know what time it is, mate?

It's 10 to 5 in the morning.

Did I wake you up?

10 to 5, I am.

Well, did I wake you up?

Could you please answer my question?

I had a piece of elevation with you.

What the fuck are you saying, sir?

I'm asking you a question.

You won't answer me at once.

Did I wake you up?

What did they have for it to you?

Please don't get mad.

Frenchman Tracy back now.

Bastards.

Let's try this again.

We gotta get some people riled up here in the UK.

Oh, they like being called French.

Actually, you know what's even worse?

In the past, we've called an Australian an Englishman once,

and he got really mad.

Joop did that.

You remember that joke, man?

when was that oh my god la crack la crack yeah englishman englishman you're bloody asshole

fuck off you can play that real quick i like crack here we go this is from way back in the day

crack is this la crack some of that good stuff if you know what i mean so i can sprinkle it on my uh

ice cream like jimmy's and get high i think you should fucking hang up or i'm gonna find out who

So you don't punch your fucking face in.

How's that?

Bollocks to you, you Englishman.

I'll come up and take my little glove off.

Englishman, you fuckhead.

Fuck off.

I'll take my glove off.

Oh, hey, did you hear Mila's last week?

Who's show?

Who did?

Who did a show?

Who?

She's doing a show now.

Where?

She's back doing a show.

A new head stream.

No kidding.

I didn't know about that.

Yeah, man.

I sent you a message, but you wouldn't know it.

Ted doesn't tell me anything

I don't care about me

I do want to talk to you after the show

I'm too busy moving furniture

Welcome to BG answer 1521

Ah yes shit balls

We're going to call Marjorie Doyle

Also in England

Sir I am

I was actually asking for a new

Access code

But somehow I got you in billing

Do you help me out with that or

Get your own permit

I don't want to

You will put in the machine

In the computer machine for that

There's a website I can't seem to be able to get up

And it's my company email

Like my company website

I'm trying to log in to get my email

And it won't come up at all

Can you transfer me to someone to help me out with that

Or can you help me out

And I don't need you to give me lectures

Because I hit the wrong number

Alright

I don't know how I got AOL

Who's this hello

Milkman, you said that Fall sent in a prank call request.

Is that correct, Milkman?

Fall sent in a number for Jan Smith again.

Oh, that's right.

We tried to call her last week.

A bus driver who works at a pizza restaurant called Penny's.

Fat, ugly, mean, stupid biatch, she says.

Ask her on a date or something.

Please tell her you saw her at the restaurant and that you think she's a nice lady.

Or think of something ourselves.

You can tell her you live near a grocery store called Carl's on 4th Avenue or something,

so she thinks you're in town.

Okay, cool, cool, cool.

All right, we'll do that right now, sweetie.

You got a tits.

One moment.

Penny?

Can I speak with Penny, please?

Well, I'm sorry.

I'm confused.

I've been drinking.

I need to speak to Jan.

You work at Penny's, right?

What's up, girl?

I work at the grocery store.

You know Carl's?

Come in a few times at Penny's.

I'm sorry I'm confused.

I'm a little nervous, but...

Are you single?

Yeah.

Would you be interested in maybe going out for ice cream tomorrow?

What are you doing tomorrow?

Well, a night.

Maybe we can go out for ice cream at night.

Maybe ice cream and...

Do you like popcorn at the movie?

I'm going to be busy, though, tomorrow.

And I want to see if I can set up, you know.

Are you afraid of dating?

Maybe we won't call it a date.

Maybe we'll just meet up.

Like, you know, have fun.

Maybe.

I work at Carl's.

I've seen you a few times.

And I come in the pennies a lot for pizza.

Okay?

And I like, do you know the guy who likes the, I like extra cheese or pepperoni?

And sometimes I get sausage, but sometimes not.

Talk, you know, you seem really nice.

And then, you know, I found, I don't want, you know, to be nervous or nothing.

But I like, I think you're a pretty girl.

I think you're a nice girl.

Well, a friend of mine said that they might know, like, your name.

So then I looked in the phone book, and then I couldn't find you there.

Then I called, I paid.

This is on the Internet.

There's this service called U.S. Search.

And then I look for you in this town under your name.

And then I found you.

So I called three other people with the same name already.

And then they all said, no, I don't work, you know, there.

I don't work there.

But you think that you know what I'm talking about, right?

You work at the pizza place?

See, that's you.

You're the girl.

I finally, like, fourth call of the night.

Crazy, though.

When was the last time you had a boyfriend?

Has it been a long time?

Does it make you nervous?

Jan.

I'm going to hang up.

Please, will you?

Are you a good kisser?

Bye.

Are you a good kisser?

Yeah, that's good.

That's Jan, everybody.

I don't know how big she is.

She's apparently a big woman.

She's a little.

Okay, we'll try to call her.

Later.

Maybe not later tonight, but later next week, maybe, perhaps.

Before we take our...

Yeah, we'll keep her for potential.

She stayed on for a little while.

Before we take our third vacation of the year.

Oh, man, I'm tired.

Okay, here we go again.

This is...

We're going to try to call Marjorie Doyle again without getting through to AOL.

Wish us luck with that.

Any prank call requests?

Old prank calls from the past?

Maybe we could play?

No Charlie Patton milk band.

We played that last week.

Don't go there, sir.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

You know what I mean?

You got the one at the casino?

The boom-bong, boom-bong.

Casino lost and found.

Yeah, I think I do.

Let's see.

Casino lost.

Actually, another good one is that very first call you did

in the pre-madhouse days to the guy at the bar.

Nigga cow.

And the kid with the shotgun.

He had a shotgun.

Oh, he wanted to shoot with a shotgun.

That's right.

All right, we'll play those in succession.

Here we go.

Yeah, hello?

Hello?

What's wrong, Peter?

How can I help you?

Yes, all right.

Is this DSL?

Well, that's what I was trying to tell you, sir.

Well, look, ma'am, I have a travesty here.

I've lost my wallet, my cell phone, my insulin shots, and my sugar is up on the roof, and I need to get my insulins.

And I can't find them, and I'm sure I left them there on one of the machines, and I can feel my sugar.

Hello, you have reached the last of town.

So that we can better serve you, please make a follow-up information.

You are being transferred, and a hotel operator will assist you.

That's right.

Can you take a photo of me?

Hello, yeah, look, my sugar is up through the roof, and I done left my diabetes kits there.

Where are you at?

Don't get an ambulance for you.

I don't need an ambulance.

I need my insulin pills.

I need my shio-

17 seconds for this call.

For applicable fees, keep it back of your car.

Come over here.

Hello?

Hey, Marjorie, how are you?

Who's that?

This is Ralph Littlejohn from the United States of America.

Well, thank you for telling me I'm in bed.

Did I wake you up?

You told me so.

But you've woken me up.

Did I wake you up right now?

Well, I don't know why I think it's funny.

It's not as fun as it used to be.

I think they're on to me, these bastards.

If you can get some minutes from Liverpool,

I've learned to move it,

and I've learned that people can move this from Liverpool.

So I heard they're just about as crazy as my instructor.

I'm tired. I'm yawning over half a second.

So we're going to call Jacqueline Worland next.

Hillary Rose.

The show.

Okay.

My insulin is way up in the sky.

Hello?

Yeah, I left my pills and my diabetes syringe and my insulins there.

You left them where?

I left them there on top of that machine there with the lights.

You left them where?

The machine with the lights.

They goes bing, bing, bing, bing, bing.

I left it on there.

You know the one?

No, I don't know the one.

I left my insulin shot.

If I don't take it, I...

You should probably come back and get it, sir, because I don't know where you left it.

Sir, you need to come back and get it because I don't know where you left it.

I left my contact lenses there.

I can't see.

Sir, I don't know where you left it.

You're going to need to come back and get it.

I left my keys.

I left my cell phone.

You're not understanding me.

I'm done with this conversation.

I left my shoes, my wallet, my pants.

Hello?

This is Alan.

What?

Hang on.

I haven't noticed, man.

We're back in Syndicate.

I wasn't looking.

There we go.

Okay, now we're back.

I was sitting there waiting for it to reconnect, and it finally reconnected.

We're back on NowLive.

Good.

It's working again.

Awesome.

Yay.

Good.

Okay.

So, yeah, apparently there was a problem with NowLive before, but now it is working again.

I think you need to refresh your browser if you want to see the show, but we should be broadcasting again live.

We're back in the loop.

Let me test it out here on my end.

We're almost done, though.

NowLive took a crash, but we're back in now.

Everyone should be back in order.

Let me see.

I don't know.

We're working on it.

We'll see in a moment.

I don't know.

Anyway, I was getting ready.

Okay, so we called Falls number.

That's good.

Baz said he liked that one.

That's good.

I want some losers sending in some more numbers.

I want some losers to hold off because I'm almost out of gas, my friend.

Almost tired.

Maven says, Jack Bauer versus Chuck Norris.

I would pay to see that fight.

Yeah, I agree.

That would be a good fight.

I'd like to see Nacho Vidal and Bruce Lee.

Who's Nacho Vidal?

Never heard of that one.

You didn't see that movie?

No.

Nacho Vidal.

No, I know

Are you talking about Nacho Libre?

I saw Nacho Libre when I was in the dentist's office once

They were playing once in the dentist's office

I didn't pay much attention to it

Anyway, so yeah, we're waiting here

We're looking

I should be able to get back on Syndicate

But it's not connecting again

It is not connecting again, son of a bitch

Let me try one more thing here

Really quick

It's been a very accident-prone show tonight

If I must say so myself

There we go, we're clicking on allow

We should be broadcasting now

Well, there we are, finally back on Syndicate.

Wow, geez.

Finally, now live is cooperating.

Awesome.

All right, where are we back in?

Sorry.

Dude, we went from having over 100 listeners to having 16 on Syndicate now because of that.

That sucks.

Anyway, things happen.

All right, well, one or two more prank calls we're going to call on tonight.

Just a moment here.

We're going to call Hillary Rose.

Just confirmed by a lonesome loser in the UK.

Here's a classic Carlito prank call.

What?

I'm over here at the bar.

Who the hell is this?

Hello?

Hello, yeah, is this the taxi service?

Man, who the fuck is this?

Is this the taxi service?

Man, I'm about to fucking fuck with somebody's ass.

Who the fuck is this?

Is this the taxi service, sir?

You think this shit is funny, huh?

Is this the taxi service?

Yeah, it's the taxi service when I put your head on my motherfucking wall, motherfucker.

Look, sir, I got a man over here.

He done diarrhea all over himself.

We need to get him out of the bar.

Nine hours, 20 minutes, 24 seconds.

For this call, for applicable fees, see the back of your card.

Did I wake you up?

Funny that I woke you up.

Do you stay awake now, or do you go back to sleep usually now?

What else?

There's nowhere else to go.

Who's the one that got mad at us last?

Marjorie?

Isn't she the one that yelled at me and got mad?

I think it was, right?

Marjorie?

She's a dent.

I think so, yeah.

Yeah.

All right, we'll call Marjorie one more time, see if she gets angry again.

Call her a dent.

A dent?

Okay.

A dent.

D-I-N-T.

Dint.

man out of here he drug he can't wait a minute what's a dent mean again dent b as in boy it's

a woman of loose moral fiber it's from the english to american dictionary loose moral fiber okay

one one step up from a prostitute oh okay good good see it could be worse right

now are you gonna help me out man oh god turkey ass motherfucker what are your problem now

hey it's crazy fucker crazy fucker on the air what's up man hey holy shit dude man

Man, I finally got through to you, man.

Fucking Illuminati took us off the air, man.

Friday, September the 19th, man.

Last week, I was hoping it was September 11th,

and I wanted to have your take on that, if you could, real quick.

Well, sir, I didn't want to call you up,

because it seems like whenever I call you up,

90% of your fucking room guests' sons are fucking shit.

Probably. They're probably gays, too, you know?

Nothing wrong with that.

Yeah, a lot of fucking queers hate me, too.

Yeah, hell yeah, man.

So, I'm sorry you couldn't call in last week, man.

so how'd you get banned from syndicate what's that about dude well dude earlier tonight it's like i

called in me i tried to cut in the syndicate radio i was on your on your even the guy he can

on the mothers you know like minded individual you're right in the head you wouldn't want to

be shit or fucked on or pissed on fuck no i'm doing anybody to try to shit upon me or sign me

i mean you afford but and i forgave them i would never let anybody shit on me because i was like

You can spit on me.

Human beings, we're not like pigs.

Pigs shit, piss, or they lay down.

We are civilized, and we don't do that kind of shit.

Well, actually, in that regard, it's like a definition of a pig and a human.

A fucking bird or a monkey or a buggy.

Okay, I'll answer your question.

Yeah, man.

It's within your own mind and your own DNA.

DNA is 6 billion of us

On the

In the Middle East

It doesn't matter who gets voted in

It's all

It's all bullshit dude

It's all fucking bullshit dude

Yeah man

That's the way it is

You need to think about it

It's a two party system

It's not a two party system dude

Party system

No

You should have your own show man

We call it the

Crazy fuckers party system

Well I'll tell you what there bro

Bro, I'm thinking about you.

You know, I got, you know, what's really crazy about me is I'm a good agent.

What's really crazy about you?

I'm a government agent, dude.

You're a government agent?

Yeah, I have the people and for the people.

For the fucking people.

That's right.

I don't constitute anybody.

I have never, never wronged, all right?

Because I'm not a, I'm not a.

Let me, let me tell you this.

You've seen Doug Knight, right?

Right, right.

Okay, you know, you know who I actually was closer to prison?

Oh, you don't know who Jim Gordon is, huh?

No, he was like a multi-millionaire drummer.

Like a big...

Hey, just...

Musician, musician.

Google up, drummer.

Jim Gordon, the drummer.

He's 70.

All right, so you were in jail.

You were in the same block with him, or you were close to him?

Yeah, I used to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner with him.

Three times.

Fucking G-block.

Jim Gordon, a musician.

Derek and the Dominoes, original lineup.

Eric Clapton also appeared.

Oh, there he is.

Okay.

Okay, American recording artist, musician, and songwriter.

Grammy Award winner.

Cut his mama's head off.

He was on acid.

Holy shit.

June 1983, he murdered his mother.

It was not until his trial in 1984 he was properly diagnosed with schizophrenia.

Complaint of hearing voices in his head, particularly those of his mother.

Unfortunately, he was not diagnosed before and instead treated him for alcohol abuse.

Wow, that's something.

He got out of it.

Right.

Dude, you want to hear another dude?

Dude, the same fucking prison, same time,

Chug Night, the Manson family.

Oh, hell yeah, by the Manson family.

Yeah, next door neighbor to me.

Hey, that looked at you first.

You're nuts.

Hey, man, you ever eat Hot Pockets?

You ever have a Hot Pocket before?

No, I've never,

I've never ever had a Hot Pockets for hot shit,

but I never ate one.

You know what's the thing to do?

Sell basics.

Eat your own fucking,

buy yourself some bean shit up.

Tell you what, dude,

Dude, these motherfuckers, they want to starve us to death.

Right now, we're still living in a fucking country in the world.

No, sometimes I don't know.

Well, dude, it is.

It still is.

It's still a fucking vehicle now.

Then they're going to have a police state and the Nazi book burnings and the last stop.

Oh, dude, dude, the Nazi book burnings.

No, no, seriously, listen to my voice.

These motherfuckers are trying to consolidate on the planet of the human race, and that includes me.

All we got left, bro, all we got, man, is we got to just...

Hey, but let me give you a few bitches about Syndicate Radio.

Can I give you some criticism?

Let it go, man.

The host...

Those are not those of the host or the rest of Syndicate Radio, man.

House Radio staff.

Go ahead, yes, go ahead.

Okay, all right.

This is not, uh...

This is not Carlito's opinions or views, but...

My bitch is a motherfucker.

You know, you get on Syndicate Radio and you click on that little...

Yes, I'm over 18, and I agree.

that I might hear offensive content.

But yet, when you hear offensive content,

why the fuck you ban people or kick people out of the room,

you stupid fucking hypocrite motherfuckers?

Oh, right!

On that, Carlito, you ever click on Syndicate Radio

and click on that little button?

I'm over 18, and I agree.

I might hear offensive content.

But yet, when you hear offensive content,

get all fucking pissed off in your fucking mother room, right?

Exactly, right.

I never kick nobody out of nobody's room.

I don't even know how to do it.

But I'll tell you what, dude,

you weren't even on the air.

And I'll tell you what,

them motherfucking four Jews,

the Jews now,

when you start talking about Jews,

you get bound in the weed.

So you think the Jews are running Syndicate Radio?

99% of what I hear on Syndicate Radio is bullshit.

You know, it's fucking easy.

Well, we don't think anybody's ever been out of there ever for anything except for a joke.

Well, I'll tell you what, dude.

You know what?

But you and people have never, ever banned me out of any fucking where, man.

I'll tell you what.

I'm saying I am, but I'm just asking you why.

If any executive, who the fuck would bother having a boyfriend?

You might hear offensive, and then when somebody starts offensive, you come off.

That's kind of silly.

That's a contradiction in terms, isn't it?

Yeah, it is, man.

It's a confusing world.

All right.

That's how we live.

Hey, bro.

One time, one thing.

Let me say this.

We've got to go to the show here soon.

All right.

Hey, you ain't got to show you dumb motherfuckers what they are all night if you want to.

You just want to get back in your comfort zone.

That's why you want to do some of a bitch.

You want to get back to your comfort zone.

You know what?

One fucking thing before I go.

Fuck me.

Get off Hitler.

On the planet fucking Earth.

We ain't fucking in defense of the United States Constitution where we live.

The work.

He always ends his comments just like that.

Just click.

Yeah, very eloquent indeed.

Indeed.

Milkman, we're going to end the show, dude.

I'm tired.

He took up the last of the gas.

You know what I'm saying?

Oh, yeah.

No more gas.

Ryan, terminate the call, please.

All right, let's get out of here.

Milkman, get us out of here, please.

It's time.

All right, man.

Well, hey, that was a really good show,

and I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did

and as much as we did.

So I tell you what, it was a good time.

I'd like to thank all our friends over there at syndicate.radio.tv.

Thank you for giving that chat fixed, hopefully.

The audio problem with open mics and stuff, they'll get sorted out.

But at least we'll do an on-air show.

It helps a lot if that's not occurring.

I know Dino will take care of that.

Thank you, G-Wiz and all the guys.

And also all of our friends over there at TedWebWebWeb.radio.

Thanks a lot, man.

Appreciate it.

We'll plan it to get you back on the air soon.

And we'll have a request to do a call with us here soon when you get a chance.

You can get done with your Mr. Candyman 18 there.

And right here in the map, many points, Clay, and then Jonathan, as always, if you could not call him in, we sure do thank Mr. Tuck, I'll say, and all night, you here and now, we couldn't do it without you because it's all about you, the listeners, that's right, we do it every week for you, we pay every week so that you think you're dying, so our party nation tomorrow night, all you crazy bastards will love him, don't forget it, our leader of the map, and now General Liesel of the militia,

thank you big bro thank you once again man i love you bro all right thank you i want to thank

everyone who sent me the numbers paul and most importantly i know bass and then some numbers

we need to get to but of course lonesome loser man thank you sir that's good when you send in

numbers but i think that's him uh thank you milkman thanks tuck ted uh baz the warrior

showed up tonight thank you and everybody who listened everyone who showed up to listen

it was an okay show we had fun you know we entertained ourselves better than doing nothing

That's some fun.

We had some news articles, dude.

I wanted to get to them real quick.

I don't know.

Give me a moment here.

There was one interesting one.

Fidel Castro.

Apparently, there's a book coming out,

and one of his assistants here claims Fidel Castro makes Wilt Chamberlain seem lame.

While the NBA legend Wilt Chamberlain, I don't know if you remember in the 90s,

Wilt Chamberlain came out and said he had sex with 20,000 women.

Fidel Castro claims he's had sex with 35,000 women.

and he's slept with at least two women a day for more than 40 years.

One for lunch and one for supper.

Sometimes he even ordered one for breakfast.

There you go.

There you go, man.

His security would comb Havana beaches each day

recruiting the hottest babes for Fidel Castro to get all giggity with,

so there you go.

Kokanyi also sent in this.

He got a good article here, and he made a good point.

Giggity, giggity.

Russia may build a space center in Cuba.

Not good news for the United States.

We talked about this a few times here in recent weeks, how things are deteriorating.

It almost seems that we're going into a new Cold War.

The Russians may be putting more rockets in Cuba, apparently, without nuclear warheads.

Russian Federal Space Agency is talking in preliminary discussions

about helping Cuba build its own space center.

They're quoted as saying,

With our Cuban colleagues, we discussed the possibilities of joint use of space equipment

and the joint use of space communication systems.

Putting a launch pad in Cuba does have some advantage for the Russians.

The Caribbean island is more further south than any part of Russia,

and that means it's easier for rockets to escape Earth's gravity

and get an additional kick from the Earth's own ground speed if they launch close to the equator.

Of course, the fear is, in that case, you have, you know, rockets and a launch pad

really close to the United States, about 90 miles off the coast of Florida,

and here we are, the Cuban Missile Crisis all over again, so that's where we are.

and apparently Russia and preliminary talks to open up a space center

just south of our own Kennedy Space Center, for God's sake.

Jesus Christ, what's this world coming to?

A dad named Raul Colon, 45 years old,

apparently, and I can understand this guy.

I say let him go.

His 15-year-old girlfriend, his 15-year-old girlfriend,

his 15-year-old daughter was in bed, and he was sleeping.

It was at night, and he hears these weird noises coming out from his daughter's room,

so he gets out

he goes to his daughter's room

sees a naked stranger

standing on top of the bed

he grabbed a metal pipe

and beat the shit out of

a 15 year old boyfriend of hers

apparently his daughter

was having sex

with her 15 year old boyfriend

and he didn't know

he thought it was a stranger

in there trying to rape his daughter

and he did the right thing

he put the metal to the pedal

basically you know

that's what I would do

he didn't know that she had a boyfriend

he didn't know she had a boyfriend

so you know if it's me

if my daughter's in bed

and I hear some weird noises

and I go in there

and there's some dude

half naked

standing up on top of the bed

I'm going to beat the shit

out of that guy

because I think

he's raping my little baby girl

so I say let him go

he did his job as a father

anyway

you should beat the shit

out of him anyway

oh yeah

and I don't know

if you guys

another article here

I don't know if you guys

heard about this

a gentleman here

in his 50s

has been accused

of raping his wife

who was in a nursing home

in a coma

unresponsive woman

woman in a nursing home he was actually having sex with her and uh i guess the the facility

officials had a feeling that the facility staff had a feeling that she was being she was having

sex he was having sex with her in private so they called the police and they set up a security

camera and sure enough he would go and visit her and talk to her and all this stuff and every once

in a while he closed the door and get on top and go at it and apparently because she wasn't

consenting to it despite the fact that it was his wife this you know they're saying that it was it

was rape and he has been charged apparently with assault oh dear i don't think that's fair dude i

mean come on they're married between you and your wife you know if if it is right between you and

your wife it's no such thing it's it's no it's a you know a victimless crime come on man i'm sure

she'll be off forward if she was up that's the best thing you can do you know they tell you

when someone's in a coma, you bring

the friends around, you do

things as normal as you can. You have

conversations because that helps bring them out.

You know, maybe he was just trying to bring

out, you know, with a good dickin'. That's all it

takes sometimes. So let him

go. Come on, man. That's not fair.

He's just trying to get a little bit on the side.

And I think that's it.

We're out of articles. We're out of time.

Thanks, everybody. Milkman, especially

and talking, all you guys.

Good to see you, Ted. Everyone go to BluePlanetHosting.us

I think that's the website.

If that's not right, I apologize.

Of course, tuckermike.com.

Yeah, that sounds right.

tuckermike.com.

That's the website there for Tuck.

And, of course, we always support Sean Ward.

Seanward.net.

He's got a lot of prank calls up there as well.

We'll catch you here next week.

Hey, where's Sean Ward?

Comment Sean Ward.

Sean wants to do a live blog.

Get in a good step over there.

Be sure to check it out.

We're fine to do it.

Check it out and be sure to tell them Matt Howe sent you.

Tuck and Milkman and Carlito and all of us, we sent you there.

Good night, everybody.

Have a good weekend.

Be safe out there.

Oh, yeah.

Better not.

This radio is live Thursday nights at 10 p.m. Eastern.

Why don't you shut the hell up?

Fuck you, fucking...

Be sure to visit us online at madhouselive.com.

Calls (14, 46 min of 2 h 4 min)

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