2008-11-24 Show

Well, sir, if you come in at 1 o'clock, you will not have an interview.

Do you see the trash can over there?

Uh, trash can?

Yeah.

Uh, what's the, Spongebob trash can?

Yeah, do you see it there?

Uh, yeah.

Can you go ahead and put the phone inside that, please?

Okay, okay.

Alright, thank you.

You know, the lady had to grab his...

Nah, don't worry about that, don't worry about that.

Just come in for an interview, alright?

You know, the child molester could come in and rape him, you know?

Who the fuck is this?

Who is this?

You are listening to the Madhouse Radio Podcast.

I figured out the problem.

Thanks to Syndicate.

Those are sharp people over there.

And, okay, so I'm going through these.

Lebanese moaning and lesbian.

We got meat drippings.

Do you have paper?

What do you have paper?

I don't remember that one.

That's when you were going to place an order.

Be like, we're closed.

No, I didn't ask you if you wanted to place an order.

I just wanted to know.

Do you have paper?

Yeah, that was kind of meh.

But I think the meat dripping ones was funny, wasn't it?

wasn't she like kind of one of those that she's meat drippings is that the one where i was ordering

uh drippings and i wanted to make interesting you go in from your voice of jack masterson voice in

the middle of the call yeah all right let's listen to that hang on that was on uh that was four days

ago jack masterson begs and pleads the woman on the phone for the drippings for his own bread okay

beautiful all right let's play that while i while i look at this uh this newspaper here and i'm

going to come up with um something to call this audio is not coming in yet i'm running a lot on

on the computer like at one time and I screw stuff up.

I changed to a new setup.

I'm putting the bird on one PC and it seems to be

actually doing better than trying to split it off

between two different, you know, splitting

services on one and the other, but it just doesn't

work out like that, man.

And here it is. Okay, well, I guess the audio's not going to play

immediately, so let me see if I can find someone we can

call. Let's see here. Okay, here we go. Construction

positions. Hiring concrete

form

carpenters, rebar, iron workers,

and concrete finishers.

And we've got two numbers here.

You know what?

That would be a great thing.

St. Johnson is trying to get out of stripping into construction.

Do you want to do that?

Okay, so you want to write down what it is that they're looking for

so you can say you have experience in all this?

I'm actually on the road right now.

Well, try to remember it.

Rebar ironworking and concrete finishing, okay?

And they're hiring concrete form carpenters, form carpenters in concrete, all right?

All right, and they've got two numbers there.

So I'm presuming it's probably two managers, and they've left their contact number.

So let's try to give this a call.

you want to take that one with Summer Big Johnson

and then accuse them

accuse them of being sexist

for not giving you an interview

and have no qualifications at all

and demand an interview, that would be great

this is going to be awesome

I'm going to do it as a Hispanic guy too

and have no experience in the job

and then accuse them of not

of being discriminatory

because they won't give me

can you imagine someone calling for a job

and being all accusatory at the beginning

oh this is great

Thank you for mixing it up.

I got the prank queued up.

It finally came up.

Hang on, everybody.

Don't go anywhere.

We're going to have Summer Big Johnson looking for a job.

All right?

All right, good.

Veal meat over there?

We do.

That's awesome.

What about anything gamey?

Do you have gamey stuff?

We have a lamb shake.

I'm looking for more gamey and tough than that.

I like rice and gamey.

No, not a lot of flavor.

Emma, like any venison?

No, we don't have any venison.

I'm sorry.

Oh, geez.

So what is a lamb like?

How does that come out?

Is it very dark?

It's a lamb shank, and it comes on the bone.

And it's really very tender, actually.

It pretty much falls off the bone because it's braised for like three hours.

And with mashed potatoes, it's very delicious.

But for gamey, that's probably, I would think, the most gamey item that we have.

Do you have anything with like dwarfings?

A lot of dwarfings?

Say that again?

Do you have anything with a lot of dwarfings?

Please hold while the Nextel subscriber you are trying to reach is located.

Hey, I was spoofing the number of the other one that they listed.

It's just not available right now.

I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

All right, we'll try the other one, okay?

I got the other line.

We'll try that one instead.

That's the Nextel that's out of range.

So those are those good old boys, you know, they got the yellow Nextels, you know what I mean?

You know, the close places.

You got to love those guys, man.

The small business, the guy, you know, with the yellow Nextel fleets out there, you know,

Out there just doing the concrete construction on the yellow Nextels.

Here we go, folks.

You've got to love Nextel.

Dressings?

Dressings.

You know, dressings?

No.

Dressings.

Hollywood.

Jesus Christ.

I can't untangle myself.

I've got myself tangled in the phone cord.

What do I do?

Cut it.

No, I can't.

Then I'll lose my audio.

Hang on.

Let's see.

How do I do this?

How did I get into this mess?

Oh, crap.

It's a fine mess you've gotten yourself into, Mr. Toledo.

I've got myself in a mighty pickle over here.

Oh, shit.

Here we go.

I think I got it.

Oh, did you?

Yes.

Aha.

I freed myself, everybody.

You saw it here first.

Carlito freed himself.

Boba Fett escaped the Sarlacc pit.

That's right.

Okay.

The droppings, you know?

When the meat, when it makes the oil come out.

When it makes the oil come out?

When the grease comes off the meat when you're cooking it,

and it, you know, it leaves that stuff on the thing,

or the cooking thing, the machine that you're cooking on.

Oh, the rotisserie?

Yeah, you know, it drops all that fat and grease and stuff.

Uh-huh. What about that?

Could I get some, um, like, red dip, red dip, dip in that?

We don't save that for anything.

Well, you're going to throw it away?

Vince, can't get to the phone right now.

If you'd please leave the name and number, I'll call you back.

Leave a message, yeah. Leave a message.

When you have finished recording, you may hang up or press pound for more options.

Hi, my name is Summer, and I'm looking at your concrete position in the paper,

and I'm trying to get out of the current job that I'm in right now,

and I'd like to see if I can get into concrete

laying and all that stuff.

Right now, I'm

a full-time...

Thank you for calling. Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Well, that's not working. Okay, let's keep looking here.

Let's keep looking here. No need to panic. I'm looking.

Let me pot up the music here and see what we can do next.

Oh, my God. Oh, no. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

My pants are on fire.

Okay. Construction trades.

It's Hurricane to $45 an hour.

What the hell does that mean?

Hurricane to $45 an hour.

Fee.

Don't fight a hurricane to turn to rebuilding.

Look.

Construction trades.

And then it says Hurricane to $45 an hour.

Fee.

561 number, number, number.

And then it says FBII.

No, TBII.TV.

What's TBII?

Let's look up what TBII.TV is.

Hang on.

What's this about, dude?

This is kind of creepy, huh?

It's all cryptic.

You think maybe it's like, you think maybe we can score some heroin, dude?

Let's take, maybe we can, maybe we can act on an anonymous tip and get some money from that number.

The tip, you know, the, you know, 442 tips.

Do they have that all over the country?

Do they have a tips line?

Let's see, tbii.tv.

Let's see what this is.

Hang on.

This is something.

Construction Caribbean and UAE.

The United Arab Emirates.

tbii is the florida-based corporation that has recruited for u.s caribbean and uae-based

construction projects since 88 to be a qualified applicant you must have at least five years in

your trader skill journeyman level supervisory level of contractors and contractors are welcome

we require a one-time trip to a tbii office for an interview and briefing by appointment only

you must be on time or you will be rescheduled you will need a current driver's license

since oh jesus christ we're full i haven't i haven't done any any briefing but i've done a

lot of debriefing in my position yeah debriefing oh man all right so this is funny this is cool

they look they got a picture if you know the palms the palm islands over there in the uae

that they're making the the the artificial you know fake continent or whatever they're making

out there that that they got a picture of that mate looks like they're involved in that flim

That's crazy, though.

It's such a cryptic thing.

All right, let's try to give them a call.

Hopefully, they'll call.

They're in South Florida.

This is a South Florida number, so let's see what this is about.

You want to do this one?

Yeah, let me take this one.

Let me call this Hispanic guy.

Okay.

Hispanics are always funny.

And I am Hispanic, so I'm allowed to do it.

Yeah, we can throw it away.

Well, don't throw it away.

I want it.

All the stuff that drips off of the rotisserie meat, we throw away.

No, you don't have to throw it away, though.

That's food.

I can eat it.

I'm hungry.

Well, I'm sorry.

We do throw that away.

Well, I'm hungry.

I don't have any food or anything.

I thought maybe you guys could help me out.

Maybe give me a little, you know.

I'll bring my own bread in.

I'll come in for happy hour.

No, I don't need anything to drink.

I need just, I want to bring my own bread that I got.

We have happy hour meat, or we have happy hour food.

We don't have happy hour price beverages, but we do have happy hour price food.

Well, you have drippings though, right?

No, I'm sorry.

We've already discarded it for the evening.

Oh, won't you make some tomorrow?

Can, maybe I'll come in and you give me a little cup of drink.

Thank you for your interest in TBII.

Current recruitment is for commercial, residential, industrial, locations, and pipeline construction.

Located throughout the southeastern United States and Caribbean islands.

You must have at least five years in your trade, management, or subcontractor experience.

A one-time trip to West Palm Beach, interview and briefing is by appointment only.

Day scales are up to $55 an hour.

Lunching, meals, family visits, no downtime.

Negotiate a long and short-term contract appointment.

Hello, my name is Hector Martinez, and I am a contractor.

I've been with many years of experience in many different fields of the construction business.

I am very much interested in maybe making an interview with someone there regarding a possible job.

If you can call me back, you can reach me at 407-459-4534.

Again, 407-459-4534.

I am more than willing to send my resume by email or posting on website, whatever you have available.

I look forward to speaking soon.

I have many, I have actually up to three years of supervisory interference as well.

And, yes, I'm making inspection too.

And when they come, they are making inspection on the paper.

And, like, look, did number two is not number one, is not here, number two.

And I said, you're out of here, man.

You're out of here, man.

Go back to the back of the line.

Fix, find your problem.

And I make the recommendation.

I said, you move every, the first time you come up, and everything in pencil.

So when you make a mistake, all you do is you go to the register, and you go, and it comes right out.

And you fix the problem.

And right on the line now, I have one of my students who still knows that I make very good.

Tell him, sir, I kid.

Go ahead.

Yeah, he's very good.

He tells me to do things, and I do it.

And I get to keep my job.

And he said under oath that he knows that I'm always coming on time, right?

Yes, every day on time, no problem.

I come early, I bring coffee sometimes for you two, right?

Oh, I love the coffee, yes.

It's from Colombia.

Okay, well, please call back, 407-459-4534.

Thank you.

Bye-bye.

That at least makes somebody laugh later today.

Okay, let's see what else we can make.

That's the kind of, I want to have that conversation.

i want to say that i make i make the people come up with the paper and it's no good and i said no

to go back i've been doing that for five years someone's someone's got a fucking okay here we

go full-time part-time gas electric company nights and days longwood and they got the number let's

try to give them a call let's see what's up with that all right let me try i want to do my character

what did i say let's just do you know flugentio nargas that's dr nargas uh we'll go hollywood

Hollywood, you're there?

I talked Hollywood to death there with my ramblation.

Okay, anyway, so Hollywood's going to try to call back.

Let me call the customer service here in a minute.

Try to deal with your racism.

Drift things, and I can stick my blood in it, and then I eat it.

You're more than welcome to come in and ask my manager and see if that's fair.

Well, you're telling me that you're going to throw it away.

Well, that's not fair.

If a man is coming hungry, he wants drip things.

You need to help him out.

I'll buy you something.

You know, I'll buy something from you before I eat it.

So you don't think I'm just coming to waste your time.

I'll buy, I don't know.

You're welcome to come in and ask.

Do you have Diet Coke?

Yes, we do.

Okay, I would like, I want to like, like, gristle and drink things and Diet Coke.

I think that's a good trade, because that way the Diet Coke fights that, you know, because like, it's diet.

So, you know, the, I save on the diet instead of drinking rum.

That's a good idea to do that.

We are waiting for the phone.

Okay, let's just try to dial this again.

Oh, juice.

Good.

Well, then, the dry things are so good.

You're welcome to come in tomorrow and ask if you can do that, okay?

Do you have chicken dry things?

It's all together.

Well, what kind of?

So, chicken, what else kind of meat?

You have lamb?

Turkey and pork.

Oh, pork.

Do you have any bacon grease?

I couldn't tell you.

Do you make bacon there?

We do.

So, you must have bacon grease.

Oh, God, I'm so happy.

Okay, you're more than welcome to come in tomorrow night, or tomorrow, and ask if you can do that, okay?

If you know your party's extension, please enter it now.

Otherwise, please hold for the next available representative.

Excellent. Finally, I get to speak to a person.

I'm going to do that comment. Am I speaking to somebody, a person?

Talk to the office. I'm going to help you.

Hello, am I speaking to a person?

You are speaking to a person.

Wonderful. I'm calling regarding your customer service rep job.

Okay, so currently what we have available that we are seeking are experienced telemarketers

to handle our outbound sales calls on several different programs that we have.

All right.

Do you have any experience in that area?

Yeah, absolutely.

I have six years experience in that, and I'm here to grab the tiger by the tail

and grab it by the belt loops and hump it into submission and make those sales.

That sounds great.

So what you can do is go into our Longwood location, fill out an application.

We'll give you an on-site meeting with management

They'll go over your credentials

And see what program works best with your experience

Wonderful, I have wonderful credentials

I am guaranteed

Put me down for an interview and a job offer

I will have my pen ready to sign it

You can go in for an interview

Between 9 to 1 or 2 to 4

Monday through Friday

You don't understand

When I come in, I get that job

We don't have any set appointments

I get the job

Between 9 to 1

I get the job

No matter what, I always get the job, baby.

Okay, sir.

I say, I'm going to grab the job by the belt, by the hips, and I put it right in it.

Yeah.

Damn, that felt good.

Would you like our address?

Yeah, I'm going to grab it.

Come here, job.

I've taken the job.

What's our address, sir?

Give me the job.

Yeah, give it.

Come on.

Yeah, give me the job.

Yeah.

It's at 6,500 Easton.

I don't, that doesn't, let me put it in my GPS.

Hang on.

What is it?

Are you taking down the address?

address 454 hello 454 southwest so i got it okay and that's it where is it at please confirm let's

come in between nine to one and two to four monday through friday hang on so i have you down for a

job offer nine to one and two to four monday through friday great yes sir that's excellent

so that's i'll take those hours as i can absolutely work that schedule that's fine

oh okay all right so we'll see you when you come in so do i have to bring a copy of my driver's

license and social security number?

You'll only need that once they hire

you, sir. Just come in and fill out the application.

You just made me

the offer, 9 to 1

and 1 to 4. You said that was my

shift. 9 to 1 and 2 to 4

come in to fill out the

application. I can work

that. That's fine. I'll take the offer

from 9 to 1 and 2 to 4.

Just please come in and fill out the application

during those hours, sir.

We'd be glad to interview you between those hours.

Is that Monday through Friday?

Monday through Friday, sir.

Do you have a shift differential?

Can we change it for a different time?

Sir, you can find out about all that once you come in and fill out the application and meet with management, okay?

What if I come in at 1 o'clock?

Can I leave at 10 instead?

Well, sir, if you come in at 1 o'clock, you will not have an interview.

The interviews are from 9 to 1 to 2 to 4, okay?

I don't understand.

9 to 1 and 2 to 4.

But I want a change for the second shift.

I want a second shift.

Job!

Please!

To place a call, press 1.

To look desperate.

It's so desperate out there right now with the jobs, man.

That felt good to do.

Oh, my God.

Wow.

That's madhouse, I guess.

Let's do the next one.

Hollywood's back from lunch.

Hollywood, call in if you get a chance.

I don't want you to lose your job.

This is a skill and art everyone should know.

And these days that we live in, you should always be ready to interview for a new job.

Because let me tell you, this year is about half the size what the employment section looked like about four years ago.

I mean, this is minuscule, and look, and it's all full of big ads.

There's an ad here that takes up half a page,

and on the same page there's another one taking a quarter of a page,

and another one taking like an eighth of a page.

That's one page right there, and it's almost all ads.

It has one, two, three, four, five, eight ads in it that are legit.

Look at how things are.

Lost it. I don't know what happened there.

Okay, let's play some music here.

Come on, let's get moving.

Let's do the next call here.

Who else do we got?

Any ideas, Tuck?

What kind of work would you like to look for here?

Should we look for maintenance?

Would that work out?

What about adult entertainment?

Adult entertainment is always fun.

Hey, wait a minute.

Let's see here.

I think this is...

Yes, hello.

Okay.

Hello.

Hey, man.

Let's have some of Big Johnson look for a stripper job.

Let's see if there's any numbers here for strippers.

Let's see.

Can't you find these jobs also, like, in Craigslist?

That might be something to try.

I'm sure that you can find a stripper job listed in Craigslist.

All right, so what would a stripper job be listed at?

I'm looking here, management, part-time, professional, health care, no, it's not engineering, it's

not restaurant lounge clubs, here we go, okay, let's see, food servers, quick service restaurant,

no, medical office assistant, no, no, it says restaurant lounge and club, but it says like

office assistant, what's that about, telesales, here we go, no, that's not what I'm looking

for, I'm looking for the porno actors.

You know, if we could find a marketing job or, you know, a telemarketer.

Right.

You know, some are big jobs.

People want to change from, you know, phone sex to that.

Well, hey, you want to call back the lady I just called for the one telemarketing job?

Did you hear that?

Did you hear any of that?

Yeah, yeah.

That was good.

You were excited.

I was all about it.

I was ready to take the offer.

Okay, here, we've got telemarketing pros, part-time.

Inbound vacation sales, international calls.

There you go.

Experience phone pros.

You know, pro is, you know, cops call prostitutes pros.

You know, that's like a street term for it.

So experience phone pros only.

Make the case.

He said, you know, you're looking for phone pros.

That's me.

All right, now I got the number to call.

You ready to do it?

Yeah.

All right, cool.

Let me see here.

Let me get my phone machine ready.

Let me get this out of the way.

I've got to search these ahead of time and circle them with highlighter like I'm really looking for a job.

That's what I've got to do.

Every Sunday, that's going to be my new thing.

I'm going to do that.

I found some stripper jobs in Orlando.

All right, cool.

There we go.

Let me know.

Okay, let's see.

Hold on.

Phone 6 operators are not prostitutes.

No, no, no.

But in a way, they are selling themselves over the phone, right?

Isn't that true?

They're selling their bodies over the phone.

That's the oldest phone profession.

I bet you the oldest profession, you know, they say it's prostitution.

The oldest phone profession, I bet you, is phone sex operator.

I bet you it is, son of a bitch.

Don't deny it, guys.

You know it's the truth.

And we should legalize phone prostitution right now.

If you can get phone prostitution, you should be able to get real people prostitution just fine.

Without any problems.

We'll be right back with the next call in a moment.

Thank you, guys.

Please stand by.

Thank you for calling.

This is Rebecca.

Rebecca?

Yes.

Hi, this is Summer.

I was wondering, when can I come in there and apply?

I'm sorry, I can't hear you.

When can I come in there?

What was that?

When can I come apply?

Okay, where, have you, do you have any sales experience?

Oh, sweetheart, I've been selling stuff.

I've been selling myself for a long time.

Okay.

I've been doing it for years, so I can definitely, if I can sell myself, I can sell anything.

You just look at me and you'll know when I come in, baby.

Okay.

Uh-huh.

So when do I get the job?

When can I start?

Okay, so we're taking applications tomorrow at 1.

Oh, you don't need my application.

Trust me, I'm going to be doing the best for you,

and you will never, ever need anybody else.

Okay.

Can I start today?

So you're about to come for an application tomorrow at 1 o'clock.

You don't need my application.

Not at all.

I'll bring all the pertinent information, but I'll tell you what.

I'll make more money for this company than you have ever seen.

Okay.

Well, I mean, I'm not the one that's hiring,

so you'll have to come for an application.

location. Okay. And you have to be here tomorrow at 1 o'clock. That won't work for me. I'll

be at my other job. Can I just come down today? Sorry, what? Can I just come down today?

Well, it's only at 1 o'clock. Listen, okay, your name is Rebecca, you said? Yes. Okay,

who's in charge? You would speak to Dave. Dave, can I talk to him, please? I will blow

his mind away. I'm telling you. Can't you tell by my voice? He's not hearing us because

it's after 1. What's his cell number? Get him on the phone, please. Ma'am, I can't

Can you get him on the phone?

No, go ahead.

Three ways.

It's okay.

Are you in the three ways?

Hello?

This is Dave speaking.

How may I help you?

Dave?

This is Dave.

No, ma'am.

This is not Dave.

Dave has left the office as he said today.

What is your name, sir?

Danny Lopez.

Your name is Danny?

J-I-M-E-N-Z.

Danny Lopez.

Oh, you've got a girl's name.

That's good.

I've got a girl's name.

I still have a boyfriend.

I'm Hispanic.

It's called Hyman.

But thank you anyway.

I've got a Hyman, too.

Anyway, okay.

Okay, can I talk to you about coming in today to sign up for this job?

Can you talk to me about what?

I need to come in today and sign up for this job

because tomorrow I'm going to be stripping when you guys are taking applications.

Okay, well, you're more than welcome to come in and fill out an application.

They probably won't reveal until tomorrow at 1 o'clock.

Okay.

But you're more than welcome to come in.

I'm coming to ask for Hyman.

You're Hyman?

Yes.

Not only do you have an American girl's name,

but you also have a female body part name when you're in Spanish.

There's no N on the end, though, so it's really not Hyman.

It's Hyman.

Yes.

It's just like Jamie with no one.

Are you into girls or are you into guys?

Girls.

You're into girls?

So we'll see you today at the first of the clock then?

So if I come there, if I do stuff to you, can I be assured to get this job?

Probably not as to why I'm not the person hiring, but I'll be more than happy to give you the application.

Let me ask you something, Hyman.

If I were to come there and do stuff to you that you have never had anybody do to you before,

would that put a really good foot in the door for me?

I doubt you'd be able to, but you do what you do, I guess.

Trust me, I'll do stuff to you you've never had anybody done.

Before 6 o'clock, we'll see you then.

Do you have the address?

Yes, you're right here in the paper, right?

Right.

Is the address there in the paper?

4-0-7-7-4-3-4?

I'll come there, and I'll do stuff to you, Hyman, that you have never had anybody done,

and I'll start working tomorrow then, okay?

Wonderful.

All right.

See you then.

Bye.

All right.

Hey, I'll see you later, sweetie.

That was fun.

Cool.

So that one's telemarketing pros.

That was pretty good.

Good work, dude.

That was good.

All right, let's see what else we got here.

here. I got a purchasing clerk position

available in Winter Park.

That's one of the more upscale parts of town.

Requires previous purchasing experience

and some driving.

Submit resume indicating interest

in purchasing clerk position

to Human Resources.

It's a fax number. It's not a

call number. That's not going to work.

Okay, Goodyear. Here we go.

Store manager at Goodyear.

Right opportunity for the right people. That's me.

Jack Valente.

Goodyear expanding workforce. Okay, good.

How about we use, and hey, Hollywood, we should really try the next call you do,

we could do the White Devil, because the White Devil's back.

I didn't know if you knew, but a new and improved White Devil machine.

It's actually much better quality now, so I'm excited about that, all right?

That's beyond, huh?

Heck yes.

Hey, you know what?

We're getting registered there in two months for the wedding.

We're registering a bit.

I'm going to put down five of those in the registry.

Awesome.

Yes, sir.

Um, that's a fax resume there.

Okay, so let's see if the store manager in Goodyear picks up.

I'm going to do that as Jack Masterson.

If I can find my Sharpie, I was using it, okay, for circling jobs.

There we go.

All right, hang on.

I've got one right here if you want to use it.

Oh, good deal, yeah.

See, now we can be the Masterson brothers.

Now that we get that.

All right.

All right, let's see.

Let me try to look for another call here.

What's another good one from the ones that you edited from the last show?

Do you recall?

The

Koran

and women's menstrual cycles

no

where's the woman

who got upset with me

there was water tea

and clanging

the clanging is good

the guy

remember I told him

to stop making so much noise

in the background

he got a little pissy

Yeah, okay, we'll play that one here

That's queuing up right now

In the meantime, we'll play a tune

We'll be right back in a moment, folks

Here's some Spider-Man music brought to us by Tuck

Tuckermike.com, that's the website

We didn't say anything about facts, those people lied

Well, that's not going to work

Let's see what else we got here then

Security guards

No experience, $89 D license required

Truck yard, full-time

L.B. McCloud, sequel license

Plus, Oaks of Kissimmee

bed skill nursing facility

maintenance director, here we go

fax resume to blah blah blah

or apply and no, no phone number

no phone number for any of the security guards

unfortunately, there's one for fax

resume, resumes can be faxed

to our office, nope, when I

see numbers I look to see if it says fax

and if it doesn't I read it, let's see

here, got it

it's gotta suck looking for a job this time

this time of year

cause there's not a lot of jobs this time of year

on top of the fact of the way things are

There's another fax.

Do people not take phone calls for resumes anymore?

People just want to be so, you know, how do you say it?

Not unconfrontational, but just uninteractive.

Not personal.

No more warm interactions like there used to be.

Job fairs.

Here we go.

All positions, entry level, fun, beer, loud music.

What?

$103 a month.

That's a really good fair.

Okay, here we go.

I'm going to read this to everybody.

This is what it says.

Okay.

Okay, all positions entry level is the title, the subject, $1,000 sign-on bonus, period, fun, period, beer, loud music, period, $2,103 a month, and it gives the phone number.

Dude, I think that should be like the frat party thing.

Jack Masterson is going to call in, try to secure that.

What's that about?

Fun, beer, there's some flim-flam.

Who seriously puts out a job fair?

that says that.

Fun, beer-aloud music.

All positions, entry-level.

I don't understand.

Maybe, whatever.

Let's see what this is about.

Okay, music.

That's right.

No, actually, I got this prank ready.

Here, this is Sabrina.

There we go.

Yes, hi.

Is this the cafe place?

Mm-hmm.

That's awesome.

Do you guys got that rose water stuff

you put in the teas?

Rose water?

Yeah, because I've got some, you know.

You have a vagina?

Yes, indeed, I think I do.

That'll do.

Here, this is Sabrina.

Yes, hi.

Is this the cafe place?

Mm-hmm.

That's awesome. Do you guys got that rose water stuff you put in the teas?

Rose water?

Yeah, because I've got this horrible sinus problem, right? Listen.

Yeah.

You know when it gets in the back of the nose like that?

Yeah.

It's right about here. Listen.

How are these associated? How can I help you?

Hello. Hi. This is Jack. My name is Jack Rasmussen, and I was calling interested with your all-physicians entry-level job posting for the Orlando Sentinel.

Yes. What area are you calling from?

I'm calling from Orlando.

Are you looking for full-time or part-time?

Anything available.

If hired, when can you start?

Immediately. I'm very desperate. I have been only eating hot dogs and then occasionally I can have Vienna sausages.

Can you hold for me one second?

Okay.

Can you hold?

Yeah.

They're in Hollywood. Is that how Hollywood ends? Hollywood!

How can you help me?

Hi, I was on hold with a nice lady regarding my job offer.

Okay, we are holding interviews tomorrow from 1 to 5.

You can see me?

Yeah.

It says,

it says,

from beer,

loud music,

and the reason I look

is because I was diagnosed

recently with terminal illness,

and they said that I should try

to enjoy the last months of my life

and have lessons.

And if you do the math,

that's about 180 days.

Okay,

we do have an interview

from 1 to 5 p.m. tomorrow.

Can you make it tomorrow?

Yeah,

so,

can you explain the words,

What kind of beer?

Is this where they're going to do the beer?

Excuse me?

Are they going to do the beer at this place?

We're located in 2130 Michigan Avenue.

It says here, fun beer and loud music.

Yeah, that is true.

Okay, so when do I get the beer?

Can you come for an interview tomorrow from 1 to 5?

Yes, but when do I get the beer?

I'm more interested in the, it says free beer.

Can you hold for me one second?

Do you give mp3s credits or how it was the music and we haven't

Are you able to

I could um redeem for

Yeah, I'll come in 11 a.m. I'll come I'll get up for the 11 a.m. Okay. Okay. Um, can you hope

Yes, yes, I came to a Hispanic woman who don't think she can understand

Sir, can you come in for an interview from 1 to 5 tomorrow?

Is there an American speaker that I could talk to?

Can you come in for an interview, sir, tomorrow from 1 to 5?

I'm going to wake up at 11 o'clock, sir, okay.

1 to 5, can you make it?

I'll wake up at 11, yes.

Okay, are you a distress professional?

I'm going to come to work from 1 to 5, so that's part-time, Monday through Friday.

Okay, now...

No, no, sir, it's an interview.

It's going to be conducted tomorrow between the hours of 1 and 5 p.m.

Are you able to come down here for an interview between those times?

Can I have your fax number?

Yes, I can.

I will come down from 1 to 4.

Can I have your...

What time is good for you between the hours of 1?

I'll be there on time.

At 1 o'clock, I'll be on time.

What was your name?

I always come in on time to work, so I'll be there.

What was your name?

This is Jack Masterson.

Jack what, sorry?

Masterson.

And I require that you guys have a handicap.

Can you please dress professional?

Yes.

And ask for Elizabeth.

Excuse me?

Excuse me.

Can you ask for Elizabeth?

Yes, I'll ask for Elizabeth.

But I require the handicap parking, and it's going to come in,

it's going to be the access links that the wheelchair van is going to come,

and they're going to have to come in backwards.

Someone has to make sure that they open both doors.

There has to be double doors open, because they racked the van and rolled to the door.

Can you hold for me one second?

Okay.

Do that, do that, do that.

Maybe on the phone.

Come back.

What do you want to talk first?

I'll talk first, and then you come in.

I'll give you an open.

Why am I talking about this stupid thing?

I'm thirsty.

I got cotton.

I bet you the minister drank.

Hello?

Sorry.

Elizabeth just came in and said all positions are filled.

I'm sorry.

Wait a minute.

Now, hang on.

I saw this on 2020

when you people do this

when you find out

that I'm handicapped

and that I'm terminally ill

that you all decided

you say

that you don't have

any openings

and it says here

it's a job fair

which means that

I could come in

and have them

we had

we have interviews

we had interviews today

from 1 to 3 p.m. sir

you said it was tomorrow

it just got filled

I'm sorry

you had the position

filled in one hour

yes

for the fun

and the beer

and everything

You think you can't get me some from Veer?

Mr. Mercer.

I've been in this conversation the whole time with my son,

and I want you to understand that you said he'd come in tomorrow,

and now you're saying that the position is out of wheels.

You know what I'm thinking?

I'm thinking you should switch this against my son because he's got a terrible...

To place a call, press 1 to listen to your...

Call her back?

Let's call her back.

Okay, I'm going to call back from a different spoof number.

Oh, Hollywood, are you in the...

You're in the chat, right?

Yes.

Just to let you know, when I'm calling out, this is the local number that,

so if you need to leave a message for callback for an interview or something like that,

that's the number.

It's a safe number to give out, okay?

And it'll come back here.

It's okay to leave messages with that number.

It makes it look legit.

We're having a good old time here applying for jobs.

This is a great idea.

Hollywood, let's just do a show where we just apply for jobs.

Because people need this kind of thing, you know, right now.

There's your phone number saying.

What does what?

My phone number say?

What does your phone number say?

It says you've reached the office of Jack Masterson, Ralph Littlejohn, Jack Valente, and Joe America.

I think that's what it says.

It doesn't say Joe America.

But it says you've reached the office of a few of the characters that I use.

And then it says we're closed right now.

Leave a message for the on-call staff.

You can also call the next business day at 8 a.m. Eastern Standard Time.

So it sounds legit.

And people will see it.

Is it Athena doing that?

No, it's me.

I did it.

Well, it's not, you know, if I'm leaving a weird message, you know,

they're like, that's the guy.

Yeah, that's the right number.

That's the guy.

This is his office.

It's like you said, it's that Jack Masterson guy.

It must be his brother.

Sounds just like him, but skinny.

So, okay, let's move on.

Let's do another call.

Who do we say we're going to do?

We're going to call them back, right?

Yeah.

Okay, and that was, which one was that?

Store manager?

Oh, shit.

No, that was the beer and the...

The beer.

Fun and beer.

What was that about?

She's like, yeah.

Like, she didn't want to mention it.

It sounds like they get people to come down

To apply Hollywood

And then they tie them up

And you ever see that movie Hostel

Maybe I ought to ask and see if my son

They've seen my son

He came there yesterday

And he hasn't been back home yet

Yeah

You ever see that movie

Bordello of Blood

With Dennis Miller

Yeah

Can you imagine it's something like that

Where you go

And you think it's a job interview

And then all of a sudden

They bite you

And you become a vampire

Maybe that's where they just put fun

What did I say

I can't find it now

God I'm so fucking retarded

Hang on

It's amazing I have a job as it is

on such a simian monkey here we go fun beer loud music with a thousand dollar sign-on bonus all

right cool let's do that then so we're gonna i'm gonna change the phone number this time so that

you think it's someone else okay but hey here's the thing that's the sting i'll tell you what

i'll tell you what hollywood you call in as summer big johnson okay we're gonna call her back and

you're gonna sound legitimate okay and when she tells you to come in for an interview i'm gonna

break in and said i thought you said the positions were all filled up you want to do it let's do it

Okay, so you're going to be Summer Big Johnson, or just talk as yourself.

Talk like yourself and just be legit, okay?

Can you do that?

That's all you've got to do for this one.

Play the straight man, okay?

And then I'm going to jump in.

All right, cool.

Hollywood, this is going to be amazing.

We're going to catch them in a lie.

And, folks, this is illegal.

This isn't right.

Hollywood, is it not true?

You know what I'm talking about.

You're not allowed to do that.

You can't lie and say you don't have a position.

Now you're with Dateline NBC.

Yeah, I'm going to be Jack Masterson with Dateline NBC.

Here we go, everybody.

This is going to work.

I know. What are the bets around

there, folks? What do you think? Do you think Hollywood

is going to call him as a straight-laced person? Do you think he'll get

an offer? Let me know. If you're out there

in the chat room right now, listening or watching to our

show, hit a number one if you think Hollywood's

going to get the interview offer. Hit a number

two if you think it's legit. They really

didn't. They really did fill out the

positions in 30 minutes. 50

minutes, apparently. Everyone's voting one

in a syndicate, so there you go. I mean, those guys

right there, they know. We got four ones. Four ones.

Mental retard votes three.

What is number three? I don't know. Neither.

We're not going to pick up.

That's probably what's going to happen.

Can I help you?

Hi, my name is Vanya Taraka, and I was wondering,

do I need to come in and make a, or put my application in,

or when you're accepting the application?

No, can you just hold for me one second?

I'll give you the details.

Oh, sure, sure, sure.

Thank you.

Hold.

Yes, I'm sorry.

Oh, no problem.

Okay.

Or do I need to bring my application in?

No, we're hosting interviews tomorrow from 1 to 5.

From 1 to 5 tomorrow?

Where are you located?

Well, I'm here in town, but I just didn't know.

I mean, I've got your address here.

Can you hold for me one second?

Sure.

Top Peace Association, how can I help you?

Yes, hello.

This is Jack Masterson with Dateline NBC.

You're speaking to one of my interns on the other line who you explained to us that you had filled all positions

because of the man's handicap, and all of a sudden you're still offering positions.

Do you have a comment that you can make?

No, the problem here is that my manager just stepped in the office.

She was hosting interviews from 1 to 3 today.

Can you put us through with your media relations department, please?

Give me one second.

Thank you.

Thank you for holding.

How can I help you?

Yes, am I speaking with media relations?

Yes, you are.

Excellent.

My name is Jack Masterson, and we were just a little concerned here.

I don't know if you folks are familiar with equal employment,

but we had a gentleman call in earlier who reported that he is handicapped

and we require handicapped access,

and he was told that he had filled all positions

and there were no positions available for interview tomorrow,

yet now you're offering my intern here, who called as well,

a position for an interview tomorrow.

Do you have a statement about whether or not,

do you follow equal employment opportunity guidelines at this organization?

Of course we do.

I see.

Is there a reason why you reported to someone else

that there were no interview opportunities available when indeed there are still,

or is there a lack of communication here?

More than likely because I'm the one that does the interviews.

and because it came up and I turned around and said that I told one of the girls to hold off on all interviews

because we've had so many phone calls and told them to tell them that we would accept applications right now,

and now I'd call back and schedule people for interviews.

When Jack Masterson...

I was supposed to be scheduling everybody just for...

Hey, hey, hey, excuse me, ma'am.

I want to let you know that in the court of public opinion,

you have made a very gross mistake to a handicapped man

because he was just looking for a job and all of a sudden he became a burden.

He was put on hold as soon as he was explained that he was going to come.

How would we know if he was?

He said that.

He gave that information to the woman who was taking the information,

who was offering him a job, an interview for tomorrow,

and said from 1 to 5 tomorrow, 1 to 4, I believe.

And then all of a sudden after he said he was handicapped, he was put on hold,

and for a while she came back and she said that the position was full,

that the positions were full.

And then I had my intern call in, and he's being told that he can come in for an interview.

So apparently you aren't alive.

Today or tomorrow?

We're not holding any interviews tomorrow.

Tomorrow, tomorrow.

Do you door-to-door Kirby cells?

Well, that's not what was said before.

You, ma'am, how do you plead, guilty or not guilty?

Not guilty.

I find you guilty.

Ma'am, we also have this on tape.

And I find you guilty.

We'll be submitting it to you.

Okay, not guilty. I'm sorry.

I find you guilty.

Do you have...

We have a report here that you don't have handicap ramps installed.

We have not discriminated against anybody.

We have handicapped people that work for us.

We would never turn around and discriminate anybody.

What kind of handicap do they have?

Uh-huh, exactly.

They don't have any bad handicaps.

What do they got, carpal tunnel syndrome?

I know those people.

That was fun, everybody.

All right, let's clear the line.

Oh, she's just like, we have not discriminated.

Carpal tunnel syndrome is not fun.

It is not, but it's all mental if you ask Howard Stearns, who is on vacation,

playing best of the year right now, aren't they?

Best of 98 of 2008

Dude it's Thanksgiving week

They did the same thing when they were on Terrestrial

Still deal with it alright people

He's on vacation

I'm really pissed off that Bubba's gonna be leaving

I'm pissed off that Bubba the Love Sponge didn't get the love he deserved

And is leaving serious

That sucks

That was a great great fucking show

Hey do you remember when they were doing all the

Submissions for the new show

Yeah I submitted a crappy submission

I don't even think they got it

To be honest with you

I heard part of Ham Hands

That's all I heard.

I heard Zohar's submission.

I helped him out with it.

And I heard part of Ham Ham's.

Blitz case says Bubba will announce it.

Yeah, he's going to be in Orlando on January 5th.

I didn't have Zohar's submission.

I didn't hear that.

Yeah, he played it.

I had it here.

I think I played it, too, for him.

He asked me to listen to it.

Send it to me if you can.

Sure, I will.

No problem.

Yeah, Bubba announced today he'll be in Orlando starting January 5th.

I've heard about that.

I'm kind of excited about that.

But it's going to be the terrestrial version, which isn't as fun.

I've enjoyed listening to the serious stuff

here on my way home from work every day

I get out of 5, I get to listen to an hour of him

and I listen to him a little bit on my last break

I take a 3.15, I listen to 15 minutes of Bubba

and listen to about an hour

on my way home from work or to school

so yeah, 15 cents a share now apparently

that's crazy to build up a fan base like that

oh big shout out right now

also to The Dead

he's in on the chat

yay The Dead, good to hear from The Dead

I gotta get going too now

All right, well, you get going, man.

Thanks for being here with us.

Oh, boy, okay.

Okay, man, thanks for calling, man.

Get back to work.

Bye, Dad.

No, I mean, Hollywood.

All right, that's done.

Hollywood Vanya is checking out.

That was fun.

We had fun with him calling for jobs.

What else do we have here to call?

Do you want to call some businesses?

We can do that.

I'm doing what's possible.

I got to take a whiz like a motherfucker.

That's all I know.

I got to pee.

The dad says he got 3 out of 15 wrong on his quiz today.

I don't have sandwich supplies.

Let's see here.

The dad says he got a 3 out of 15 on his quiz.

What is that?

What grade is a 3 out of 15?

Do you know off the top of your head what percentage that is?

I have no idea either.

That's what they call calculators for.

They call them calculators because they calculate.

80, he says.

80?

That's not an 80.

3 out of 15 is not an 80.

It's like a 20.

What's 3 out of 15?

What the hell is it?

Hang on.

Let me go to my, I think my cell phone battery died, so I don't know there.

And I'm using Vista, and I can't find, let's see, calculator.

Well, that's what it says in the chat room, so that's all I know.

Here we go, calculator.

You know, I have Google.

All you got to do is type it into Google.

3 slash 15 equals 20.

20 percent.

All right, the dad got a 20 percent on his quiz today.

All right, guys, seriously, I'm going to have to play a prank call because I'm doing the pee-pee dance over here.

You know the pee-pee dance?

I'm doing it right now.

Be right back.

I feel pretty bad.

The rose water gets it out when you mix it into the tea, but you got to mix it with your finger.

Do you guys have like the little rose water little shit that you put in it?

You know what I'm talking about?

No, we don't have rose water, but we do have tea that has like dried rose petals in it.

And we have another tea that's really good for clearing your sinuses.

It has eucalyptus and chamomile and spearmint all mixed together.

together at the chamomile stuff i put you to sleep i drank some chamomile once i was driving

drinking iced chamomile tea wow i'll tell you what great experience i ended up you know it felt

felt like i was like you know i actually turned on the cruise control in the car never used it

before have you ever used i mean is what's the point in the cruise control right why so you don't

have to use your feet right so i put in the cruise control and i i ordered the car to get to the

house and it sure as hell i made it to the house look i don't know how i did but it made it and

that that camomile tea is just something in that stuff that is does not sit well with me i don't

know if it was an adverse adverse reaction and then you know i would really appreciate it so

how many how many um how many times do you get requests for like iced teas um practically every

day i mean i don't work every single day but every day that i work i've gotten it has anybody ever

asked for an iced earl grey tea yeah do people ice an earl grey tea yeah they do they ice

Yes, everything, really.

How about for a large one of those?

How much would that set me back there?

At $242.

I'm going to be honest with you about something, okay?

Okay.

I'm kind of just calling you to fill you out a little bit.

I came in earlier, and I think I saw you.

I think you were the girl that was there that I saw.

Did she have red hair?

What I did was I went out, and I bought some diamond stud earrings

because I thought you would look really sexy in, like, diamond earrings, you know?

You know the ones where there's just a little piece of diamond in it?

No, I have no idea.

Yeah.

So, if I were, I mean, before I waste my time in going there,

because I'll just go return it to Zales,

would you accept the earrings from me?

I actually don't have pierced ears.

Is it against your Egyptian religion?

No, I just don't have them.

They were done when I was little, and I never wore earrings, so they closed.

But it comes with fur piercing, though.

Are you sure you have the right girl? I just got here.

I don't know. Beggars can't be choosers.

Any port in the storm, you know?

You have a vagina?

Vagina?

Yes, indeed, I think I do.

That'll do.

It doesn't have, like, the AIDS in it or anything, or, like...

No, not yet.

I haven't upgraded.

Is it that, you know, that...

Are you attracting bears?

Are you, like, attracting bears?

No, I'm not.

No, I'm not attracting bears.

Who's making all that noise in the back?

What's his name?

Yen.

Can you put Yen on the phone, please?

Yes.

Thanks.

Yen speaking.

Yen.

Yes.

Why do you have to be so loud in the background when I'm talking to the chick about, you know,

getting her the earrings?

What's with all the noise back there?

I'm working, man.

I'm sorry, but...

Well, turn the damn...

No, no, wait.

Hey, hey, hey, yeah, and listen.

You don't need to be making so much noise slamming the dishes down and the coffee cups and all that.

What's that about?

I'm sorry, man, but that's just the way I have to work.

I'm speeding, getting this place to hurry up, getting this place trying to close early tonight,

and I got to work tomorrow morning, I got to work tomorrow night, and I've been very busy.

I'm sorry, but I've got to do all this stuff.

It's required.

It's part of my job and my stability.

Listen, let me talk, sir.

Sir, it's not my fault that you're, you know, running behind because you've been staying up all night playing Nintendo.

It's not my fault.

Now you're in a rush, and slamming things doesn't make you go faster, sir.

Okay?

It does, actually.

No, it doesn't.

You're just going to...

I don't have to sit up there and waste the ten seconds, you know, the ten seconds that I'd on to together the last hour,

not slamming stuff down, trying to be careful with dishes and other supplies.

I'm fine, but that's not how I work.

There's not any...

I'm slamming dishes, meaning that I'm working hard, very, very hard to earn my money, to pay rent, to afford things that, you know...

You're going to waste your money on Nintendo games, right?

That's what you're going to do.

And renting games and renting movies.

Yes, it is.

And going to the movie theater where you know you're supposed to save your money.

Uh-huh.

And going out to eat and everything.

I like going out.

You know, I work hard.

I like to do things like that.

I like to enjoy myself.

I like to treat people well.

And that's just me.

And in order to get that far in life, I have to work hard at it.

That doesn't mean you don't need to throw the plates.

What is that noise?

That scares people.

It scares our sights.

It makes people tense and nervous when you do that.

don't do it anymore stop it now stop it sorry but i guess there's nobody around me it's not

knowing anybody this is going here are you annoyed no she's not annoyed i'm gonna write

you up okay please do that what's your last name yen what are you like vietnamese or something or

chinese yes of course yeah very careless of you what's your social security number um i'm sorry

but i'm not allowed to give that out how am i gonna identify how am i gonna identify you when

and I have to make the complaint with unemployment with the Labor Department.

Give me your credentials, sir.

I need your ID.

I need your numbers, your papers.

Come on.

Okay, I will give you this.

My license ID number is...

That's a little short.

It's supposed to have more numbers than that, sir.

No, that's it.

What's your date of birth?

I'm three years old, and I just turned...

When did you graduate from high school?

I graduated from high school in 2005.

All right, I guess you check out for now.

I'm going to tell you something, kid.

I'm going to come in there, and if I hear that noise again, the loud throwing things,

I'm going to write you up.

I'm going to write you a very dirty letter, and you're going to be sorry

when you get a bad failing grade from your owner there, the person who runs the business.

I play golf with that man.

I'm a close personal friend.

I'm going to tell him that you're trying to break the things there because you're running late,

because you're wanting to leave early, because you're tired and you're frustrated.

Oh, I've got to do this.

That's life.

That's life, sir.

Yeah.

Yeah, I understand that, but I don't do that in front of customers.

It's an absolute thing.

I'm not really doing anything wrong, to be honest.

We're on the phone now.

I'm a customer, and you're making these loud noises, and it's making me nervous,

and you made the lady nervous, and I'm trying to, you know, make an important conversation about a...

Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice...

God damn it.

All right, we'll try a different one here.

Let's see, who's next?

Who do we got here?

Let's go to the Lonesome Loser Machine.

Play some music.

There we go.

I'm rested.

I'm good.

Got my cell phone

Let me tell you something

They got this new Diet Pomegranate 7-Up

Diet 7-Up

Diet Pomegranate 7-Up

It's good stuff

Yellow

Hey, Mom

me guy and now I'm going to fucking cut you.

Oh, God, that's nasty.

Don't cut yourself, man.

You're not a cutter, are you?

You don't do that stuff.

No, I cut my penis.

Oh, hey, man, I bought my first soldering iron at Radio Shack today.

Did you solder your penis with this?

No, can you touch it when you turn it on? Is it hot? Is it burn? Is that how it works?

It burns. It goes up to like 200 Fahrenheit.

Does it really? Hang on, let me get it out of here.

Yeah.

There we go.

Let's see, it is a 15-watt grounded soldering iron.

So what do I do? I plug it in and I burn stuff with it?

Yeah, you could plug it in. You know, you buy the solder wire crap.

You know, there's like 50, there's like 40% lead and 50, 60%...

And you solder, you solder circuits with it and shit.

Are you going to do, I only soldered a couple times.

But I want to ask you something.

Are you going to solder your penis to a circuit board?

Just...

Become like a cyborg?

Yeah.

The glans penis.

I'm going to solder some LEDs to it and make it go on.

My little penis.

Yeah.

What's your favorite part of the penis?

The glans penis or the shaft?

I'm gay.

Well, you're a penis.

You like yours, right?

What's your favorite part of your penis?

I like them.

Yeah, what's your favorite part?

Well, what's your favorite part of it?

The glans part, or the shaft, or the base, or what do you like the most?

The head.

The glans.

That's what it's called, the glans penis.

All right, good.

Well, that's cool.

Good to know.

The dead's into his glans penis.

Is it perfect?

I shove, like, when I shoot up heroin and shit, I shove that needle in my pee-pee hole,

and I shoot up heroin like that.

that way you don't leave any tracks

and no one can find out

that's a good idea

good work today

that's a smart thing

if you're going to do that

so are you anticipating

the SHIELD series finale tomorrow?

I'm anticipating it's going to be good

I'm going to record it

I'm probably going to leave my class early tomorrow night

and where is it going to lead?

who knows

All the people that have seen early screenings of it and wrote reviews and shit, they're saying that it's pretty fucking good. It's going to probably surpass the Soprano season.

And I hope that Ronnie doesn't get, you know, arrested in the process.

Yeah, but the actor that plays Vic, you know, Michael Chiklis or whatever the fuck.

Yeah, Chiklis says he ain't for two.

Okay.

Yeah, that's what I read, yeah.

Yeah, because CCH Pounder, if she means what Claudette would think, Claudette wants her dead.

Claudette wants him dead, wants to kill Vic, you know.

You know, whereas, you know, the other way around, you know, maybe CCH Pounder, as an actress,

maybe thinks, you know, he should be able to get away with it or whatever.

Who knows, man?

I really think he's, you know, I know that Shane and Ma are going to end up being dead.

That's what I know for a fact.

I really can't see how that's not going to happen.

Maybe.

Maybe he's going to come out and he'll get outed out of the closet.

Remember when that happened to KDK?

That was really funny.

Yeah.

When everyone found out that he was really a gay instead of a bisexual.

Who? Yeah, he gave up. He doesn't even do shows anymore, I thought.

I don't know. Tuck's our correspondent from KDKdom.

When was his last live show? You have no idea?

Has it been over a month at this point?

I don't know.

Some loser told me that he's settling his defense.

Well, that's where that is.

Who cares? You want to stay on? I'm going to do some prank calls.

You want to stay on the line while we do that, man?

you know what i want i want i want uh fuck sessions yeah well who we're gonna call off

for fuck sessions what who do you want to talk to do you want to call for it do you want to apply

for a job all right let's see i've got uh i don't want to do security guards let's see what else we

got here educator three what's that the hell's educator three i'm educator three uh you want

to do construction or something let me look i'm looking here i don't know technical writers they

we got here here we go alarm company seeks experienced sales reps and telemarketers for

an alarm company great pay commission bonus and it says call mr dean for an interview you ready

mr dean yes sir for an alarm company it's installing a selling and and telemarketing

alarms okay tell me you have experience selling alarm systems okay like with uh with the big

companies i don't know who's the big alarm company adt is that the big one um i think it's adt or

Or some other company.

Okay.

Well, tell him you work with ATD or something.

All right, let's see if he picks up.

If he even picks up.

It's almost 2.30 here.

So let's find out.

We started the show too late today, but we're still having fun.

God damn it.

Just a moment.

I'll go anywhere in a day.

What's the name of the company?

I don't know.

Mr. Dean.

Hey, Mr. Dean.

I've been working for ATD for a number of years as a sales rep, right?

And I think I'm going to leave the company.

and I want to work for you now so is it a good time say that again um I've been working for

ATT ADD for a number of years and like you know selling alarm systems and stuff and I think I'm

gonna leave the company hold on one second you need to speak to this other person tell him

Are you talking to the same person?

No, this is Mr. Gaines.

Um, you're discussing your voice.

No.

What can I help you with?

Yeah, um, I've been working for ADT for a number of years, selling their alarm systems.

Okay.

And I'm taking, yeah, and, um, I got, like, kind of fired for trying something new.

And, um, I just want to.

What was the reason?

Well, I told someone that, you know, because some child molester moved on the same block as an old woman,

and I was trying to sell her an alarm system, and I said, well, this alarm system will keep the...

Well, look, I'll give you the address, and you come down and fill out an application.

You ready?

Yeah.

23.

Okay.

23-42.

Yeah.

Yeah, but, you know, the lady, the kid, the grand...

You know, the lady has a grandchild.

No, don't worry about that.

Don't worry about that.

Just come in for an interview, all right?

You know, the child molester could come in and rape him, you know?

Just come in for an interview.

23-42 West Palm Beach.

Okay, yeah, thanks.

All right.

I'll see you then.

Bye.

Why didn't you drag it out for him today?

Why didn't you drag it out?

Like, that was nice.

That was funny, though.

Oh, my God.

He got this whole story.

They're like, oh, okay.

I think they just want to see you today.

Dad, they love this story.

They're like, oh, let's just have this guy come in.

Who got fired for trying to sell the alarm system

because a child molester moved in.

That's a good idea, though.

Like, hey, did you know how many child molesters live in your neighborhood?

Did you know you have a child molester five doors down?

You could.

I'm going to have to look up and see where my child moved to.

There's one living like a block away from my grandmother's.

So, you know.

Oh, really?

Uh-oh.

Is he into molesting old ladies?

No.

Okay.

But there's a kid, my next-door neighbor just had a baby, so, you know, uh-oh.

Oh, okay.

All right, well, that's something.

Let's see what else we got here.

We got a fax number there.

If anybody has anybody that you want us to prank call, I know, what's-his-face wants us to prank,

but I tried to call two of them noon-noon, they didn't pick up.

I called the fatty, and I called the feminist, and they didn't pick up.

And I'm just afraid to call Searcy, man, because those guys, they're on to us, you know?

You know, they've got us by the balls.

They threaten to sue the dead.

You don't kill a dead horse, man.

Why don't you thank Emmy's mom?

Yeah, Emmy's mom.

I never heard her, I haven't heard her show in a long, in about a year.

But now that I've got Mondays off, I'm probably going to be listening to her music,

her music extravaganza.

Here's a job for bartenders today.

Do you want to call in together and try to get a job for bartending?

Okay, yeah.

We could tell them that we suck each other off behind the bar for tips.

We could say something gay like that, you know.

The Florida Bartenders Association Agency is needing now bartenders.

No experience necessary.

Okay, good.

Let's do that.

Let me get that out of the way here.

Bartenders needed, okay?

You ready for that, Dad?

I'm ready.

Oh, my God, am I ready.

I feel it in my soul.

We'll be right back in a moment, folks.

Florida Bartenders.

Yes, hello.

I'm calling here with my associate.

We're interested in bartending.

With your associate?

I'm an associate.

Am I 60?

No, I'm not 60.

I said with your associate?

see it? Yeah, well, he's behind me in line.

He's going to be applying

in a little bit as well, so we thought we'd

save the quarter and maybe make it on the

same phone call. But I wanted to walk you in

for a minute. Do you still use quarters?

No, but we get charged... Do you still use quarters?

We get charged 25 cents a minute

on the prepaid card. Oh, alright.

Well, let me ask you something. I'm sorry, I mean...

Jeez, okay, this is Ralph Littlejohn.

Huh? Ralph Littlejohn.

Ralph? Okay. Ralph, do you have any experience?

I have some experience.

Inexperience, I did some volunteer work for the VFW,

and then I would do some bartending there a little bit that I had learned from my friends behind the counter.

But it was just for small events, you know, for Memorial Day and Valentine's Day dances that they had and stuff like that.

And I only got small tips.

So would you consider yourself inexperienced?

I will be a novice bartending person.

I have novice experience.

Unfortunately, I only had a few of those positions, and I have filled them, so I apologize.

Okay, now.

You have a great day.

Well, wait a minute now.

Wait a minute, sir.

Lex has three years experience.

Aw, man.

I'm going to call that asshole back.

He was a jerk person, wasn't he?

He was a fucking jerk.

Yeah, all right.

Dead, dead.

I'm going to try to call him back and set him straight.

Florida bartenders.

Yeah, who's the jerk over there who hung up the phone on me

and said a bad word under his breath when I was just applying for a job?

First of all, I was sitting right here when he said it,

and he didn't say a bad word, sir.

When he hung up?

Unfortunately, he had filled out...

Unfortunately, he said he had filled all the positions.

Got it.

Sir, he doesn't need to take that.

Sir, what was your name again?

I grain you, motherfucker.

Hang on.

He's a handicapped man who's making an appointment,

and the minute he mentioned he's handicapped,

they said that all the positions are for press 1.

You want to let me talk?

I'm going back.

I am.

Shit, I don't think they're picking up.

Well, you've reached the Florida Bartenders Association.

Damn it.

We cannot take your call.

That's fine.

We've got another one here.

This is ABC Bar Association Agency.

No experience needed.

Now, Deb, we're going to learn a lesson here.

We're going to say we're experienced from now on, okay?

We've got four years' experience on Disney property.

You got it?

Because really, I'm in Orlando, and this is what we're calling, so.

We got...

You know what?

I want you to call a bar.

You know what I want to say?

What?

I want to say the bartender put me into the bathroom and raped me, and my anal cavity hurts now.

Okay, well, that's the reason why you lost the job, we'll say, all right?

Don't go anywhere.

Let's call the ABC Bar Association Agency.

Don't go anywhere, sir.

Can I help you?

Yes, hello.

How are you doing?

Let's make an appointment machine for an application and an instrumental vision of the interview.

And your name is?

This is Ralph Littlejohn.

and I have four years experience

and I'll be an asset to your organization.

What you're going to have to do is...

Fill out an application.

I got my pen right here in my hand.

I got my pen.

Where do I come?

Excuse me.

Why do you keep interrupting me?

Because you keep interrupting me.

I'm sorry.

Please don't write down bad thing on my application

because I did that.

What you need to do is get together a resume

and fax it down to our corporate office.

What's the fax machine?

We'll take a look at it

and see if it might be able to help you.

Okay.

But this is an agency. I will let you know that if we decide that we can't help you, there is a charge of $295.

Well, maybe we can negotiate. We can negotiate. I can negotiate. I'm an airline pilot. I can pay that machine.

What's the fax number, damn it?

It's 888-7...

Okay, and do I hit pound after that?

No, just fax it down to the corporate office.

Okay, you ready for the fax?

I get it.

Are you ready for it?

Pardon me?

Are you ready for the fax?

No, corporate office is in Fort Worth.

Well, I just dialed the number now, so I'm ready to hit send.

Well, it's not faxed down there.

Did you get it?

It goes to Fort Lauderdale.

Why would I get it?

I just faxed it.

Do I need to fax it again to Fort Lauderdale?

That's where you just faxed it to, Fort Lauderdale.

Okay, let me redial it.

Okay, and then send.

All right, did it go through?

Sir, I don't know.

I'm not in Fort Lauderdale.

Can you put me on hold and talk to the Fort Lauderdale fax department?

Unbelievable.

Fax it down there.

I'll give you a look, woman.

I will give you the check when I come in.

It's not about the money.

Oh, my God.

She hung up a little upset there.

That sounded like Hollywood Vanya doing a voice, didn't it?

Yeah, kind of, right?

It sounded like that.

You know, the Hollywood Vanya voice.

To place a call, press 1.

Did that be there?

To listen to your recorded call.

We lost a dead in the process.

And this is going to be the ring back.

Press 0.

And we'll shut that off for now.

God's sake.

It's going to ring again.

Phone does this sometimes.

There we go.

Cleared out finally.

Good deal.

Okay, so should we do some more pranks?

What time is it?

It's 2.50.

Is Enema Rose coming on next in Syndicate?

We'll have to leave Syndicate, Tuck, if that's the case.

I don't know.

Let me know if Enema Rose shows up.

The Enema Rose show.

If not, I'll do another hour.

Blitz says she will be late.

Okay, so can we go until 4 Eastern?

Would that be okay with you guys?

Is that going to work for your damn schedule and your people here?

Let me know.

Who's in there anyway?

I saw Dina was in earlier on his lunch break.

Blitz K Bat Trancer or is it B-A Trancer?

Tracer.

bat tracer

chuckle fat

good guy

buck foy

dirty twig

and drew down 67

all in the chat room there

we've got 73 people

watching our show

it's the tracers

that he shoots off

from

batman has

anti-aircraft guns

because the joker

has that big airship

so he has these

tracers

and they're called

bat tracers

and they go up

they go

like that

and they shoot down

and it hit

the joker machine

and it crashed

into the Lincoln Tunnel

and it blew up, man,

and it killed a bunch of

homeless squeegee men

that were there.

I remember,

that was a great episode.

Yeah, man.

Did Batman ever have,

was there ever a bat sub?

Was there ever anything,

was there ever a bat sub

that you knew of?

Of course, yes.

Wow.

Yeah, yeah.

He had a bat boat

and it turned into a bat sub.

That is cool.

And it could have turned

into the bat rocket.

Did he ever have the bat rocket?

Of course.

The bat moon capsule?

Of course, yes.

Did Batman ever go to the moon?

The bat sub goes up

and becomes the bat rocket.

Wow.

Ellie, I'm looking at you.

Ellie's not paying attention.

Ellie, I'm paying attention to you there, Sassafras.

Take it easy.

Carla's looking at another chat room.

I'm looking at your chat room, Ellie.

This is the Ellie chat room today.

Come down, kiddo.

Yeah.

The dead checked out, though, apparently, all together.

All right, let me get another sip of my 7-Up.

The Bats have passed out, apparently.

The Bats have as many chicken spaces.

Good point, Blitzkid.

That's good.

It's good to have chicken spaces up.

All right, where are we at here?

Let's see.

Who are we calling now?

Should we call businesses now?

Now, are we done with the job postings?

I think we've done that to death.

That was kind of fun.

Excuse me.

LOL, you don't look how you sound.

Incredible says, I don't look like how I sound.

I don't look like how...

Oh, I look different.

Okay.

Incredible.

Cool.

How do I look?

Do I look gay?

Is that what you're trying to say, bitch?

That's not nice to say.

Be respectful.

All right, what kind of business can we call here, Mr. Tuck?

What are you thinking about?

Any type of cuisine or anything?

What would you think would work out?

Let's think here.

I'm thinking.

Little Red Maker.

This is called Kmart.

I don't know if I have Kmart.

Let's look for Mart.

The store formerly known as Gay Mart.

We have a call there we already made.

Samuel Smart.

Mart Norma's Burgers and Breakfast on Martin Way.

Burger Man.

No, no Mart.

That's weird.

Maybe in our old archives.

Looking for Mart here.

We got the Surati Farson Mart in California.

An India guy answered there in April.

What else we got?

Taz Mart.

That's in Louisiana.

We got Maxwell Smart Solutions in California.

California. Let's go back down again.

You do alternate D for down.

I'm going to call it Surati

Farsan Mart. Let's see if they pick up there. That's an

old one. This one, this was confirmed back in

like, looks like it was back in April, so

who knows if they're still open. And I just lost it.

Son of a bitch. Where'd it go? What is that?

I don't know. Surati Farsan Mart

an Indian guy. It sounds like it's

I don't know. I don't know. It sounds

like it's a Persian kind of store. You know, Persian

food maybe. Kebabs and kebab stuff, you know.

Stuff like that. Let's try that

then. Take a risk, man.

Yeah, well, let's take the plunge, guys.

I'm going to have to buy a new phone card here soon, too.

No number there.

But seriously, though, God, didn't we talk about a remake that should be made,

Tuck, I believe, about Short Circuit, right?

Short Circuit remake should come out soon.

I would like to see that.

I would purchase stock in that if you could purchase stock there.

It would be cool to see a Short Circuit.

Really?

Why?

Who was the guy that was in all those movies?

Steve Guttenberg?

Remember Steve Guttenberg?

He wasn't in the second one, but he was in the first one.

He was in that RoboCop.

He was in, God, Police Academy and all that stuff.

Make my ears bleed.

Whatever it does.

Incredible says, forgot I had AIM.

Yeah, well, I do have AIM, Incredible.

Why name yourself Incredible?

Are you a fan of the movie?

Is that what it is?

It's an interesting movie.

Did you see that movie?

You're a comic book artist.

Todd, did you like The Incredibles?

Did you watch it at all?

The Incredibles?

Yeah, that's okay.

Pixar, yeah, of course.

Pixar couldn't do it all wrong.

Yeah, Pixar, Pixar, never go wrong.

Okay.

We're going to play a new prank call, you know, from the forums here.

While I set up, I've got to buy some minutes for the phone card here

so we can do some more live pranks for the next hour.

Yeah, we've got, let's see.

We did the one with the clanging in the background.

The one that was good.

There was one where we called and the lady got pissed off.

I remember.

It wasn't Lebanese.

It wasn't me dripping.

She played that one.

The Quran and women's menstrual cycles.

Maybe that's it.

There was one that we did and the lady got kind of upset at the end

because we kept calling.

Let's see.

And it's sent coming in the Koran.

It says women can't be around a man when she's menstruating.

Logical question, but the guy just hands up.

Carlito calls back two times and talks to a woman that gets really pissed.

Yeah, that's the one here.

The Koran and women's menstrual cycles.

That's the title of the prank call.

That's the kind of goofy-ass, nutty stuff that we do on this show here.

Known as Madhouse Radio.

Right.

Where's my mosaic at?

I'm looking for my mosaic effect.

There we go.

All right.

Hang on, folks.

We'll be right back with another prank.

Just a moment.

Good evening.

Good evening, I'm off to a restaurant, may I help you?

Hi, is this the Egyptian place?

That is correct.

What's the deal with those kabobs you got there, man?

Excuse me?

What's that stuff you put in them kabobs?

This stuff is good, man.

Kabobs?

Kabobs, yeah.

You know those, you know you got the meat sticks?

Yeah, those things are good.

What kind of spices you put in them?

Those are the secret recipes, man.

No, you can give it to me.

I'm not really quite sure.

You can give it to me.

It's all right, man.

I'm not going to tell nobody.

It's not that secret.

It's probably like a tradition.

What do you guys use?

Do you use spices?

Nutmeg.

I bet you got a lot of nutmeg.

There's spices that they use.

You put some nutmeg in it?

No, nutmeg they actually use with the duck, the buffalo corn.

No, I don't like that shit.

I'm talking about the meat kebab.

Meat kebabs, that's what I'm talking about.

That's where it's at, brother.

Right on.

Yeah.

So, is it customary to have to take your shoes off when you come in there?

Because my friend was telling me if I come in, I have to take my shoes off and all this stuff.

I'm like, I'm not going to put my feet where those dirty people are and stuff.

Nah, no need to do that here.

Would you eat food off the floor where you're at right now?

No, we don't eat food off the floor.

We've got tables.

Because you've got nasty stuff there.

If I had said to you, I will give you $500 Madhouse dollars,

and you were to actually sit on the floor and eat your meal off the floor, no plate,

like you had to put the...

What's your favorite thing to eat there?

Favorite thing to eat here?

Yeah.

Ah, the cooked mishwa is really good.

What's that like?

It's minced leg of lamb.

Yeah?

Mashed leg of lamb.

Okay.

With some mint and garlic.

Do you have white steak?

No white steak.

You know what white steak is?

Never heard of it.

I had it in Israel once.

I figured you guys would carry it, too.

It's like this thinly cut pork.

You slice it really thin on the backside, you know?

Nah, the Muslims don't eat pork, man.

Yeah, but you guys can make it, though.

You got a pork license?

There's no sort of pork in this house.

Is this something where I can't even bring pork or anything like that?

No pork whatsoever on the menu.

What if I bring it in, though?

What if I bring bacon bits for my...

Do you have salads there?

They're a salad.

Can I put bacon bits in my salad if I come in with them?

It's not recommended to bring it outside food.

No, it's not outside. It's an outside condiment. I'm allowed to do that.

It's a condiment, sir. It's bacon bits.

When you go to a grocery store, where do you find bacon bits? In the condiment aisle, right?

I usually never look or try to start all the occasions.

Well, the last time I went to the grocery store, the bacon bits that I got were in a condiment aisle.

That's not the food aisle. That's condiments.

So, I think it's...

I mean, am I going to get roughed up at the door

if I try to bring in my own bacon bits or something like that?

Well, it's usually not recommended to bring food in from outside the restaurant.

What if I...

Can I bring my own limes in?

Sir, may I ask where the phone call is going?

It's asking...

Do you have to make a reservation?

I'm going to make reservations,

but I need to make sure that you people and up and up,

I have special requirements for myself.

How many people in the party for you?

Is it a large group?

Myself, my son, who is going to be graduating from Flight Academy,

My ex-wife, my ex-wife.

And when were you looking to join it?

It's going to be later, it's going to be tomorrow, Friday.

Now, I want to make sure, here's another thing I was reading in this paper.

Let me tell you something.

This is called, it says here, radical Islam, eating purposes, I think something like that.

Let me know.

All right, it says here that menstruating women are not supposed to be near men.

Would that be a problem if my wife was, my ex-wife in this case, was possibly menstruating?

Would that be accepted?

You know what, man, I can't help you.

Well, it says here specifically that the menstruating women hang up.

This is Mai.

Hi there, Mai.

I would like to see if you were in.

I got your name here as Mai.

Have you ever played the game with the claw that comes down and takes the thing up,

you know, the toys up and comes in and drops it in the, you know what I'm talking about?

I have no idea what you're talking about.

You ever play the claw game?

This is Ralph Littlejohn.

Have you ever played the claw game?

The

whom game?

The claw game.

It was like you go to the machine and it has this thing.

It has, like, the little joystick, you know, and you put, you go up, back, left, right, and you hit the button and the thing goes down.

And it grabs the toy or the little bear and it puts it in, you know, you know what I'm talking about?

The machine has, like, the pee-pee that you hold on to and you move it back and forth and it gives you time.

And you push the...

I just played Hungry, Hungry Hippo.

No, no, not Hungry, Hungry Hippo.

Don't you know you put a quarter in the big box that has glass all around it?

It's a box, man.

And you put the toys...

I played Upprach.

What? No, the claw game. Come on.

No, Dutch.

What? Hello? Do you play the claw game? Have you ever played the claw game?

Monopoly?

No, it's... Okay, let's think about Monopoly, right?

Let's imagine you're going to play Monopoly.

You know how you put the money out at the beginning?

The banker gives out the money, you know?

You know how you're supposed to get two of the orange $100 ones?

$100 Monopoly dollars?

Candyland, like Candyland.

No, we're talking about Monopoly.

Why do you keep jumping around?

What's your problem?

Well, I'm talking about Hungry Hungry Hippo.

I'm talking about the Pee Pee Claw game.

Oh, Candyland.

No, Pee Pee Claw.

Come on.

You're boring.

God, you're so old.

Are you black or something?

I'm asking you a question.

Are you a black?

Uh-huh.

Oh, God.

Rita, I don't want to talk to people.

If I want to talk to people at that noon, I'll go to fucking work on Monday, okay?

What's wrong with you?

I want to talk to brain-dead assholes.

Stupid woman.

give me someone with a little bit of pep come on let's go she got arrested for shoplifting well

no kidding really i was trying to go that angle i was going to go that you steal the

what's that lady's problem she's like candyland no monopoly so i go into the monopoly thing and

she goes like candyland i don't know the pure evil says this is the crane game i call it the

claw machine the claw game right isn't that the claw game well what do you call it crane game or

claw game the claw box it does have it is phallic though any any men who play that uh want to play

with a dick and think they're going to get something

for it in return because apparently

you know, Pure Evil says his

dad kicks ass on it. I kick ass at Walmart.

The ones at Walmart are

really easy to win at because you can

go down halfway and keep moving around.

You know, it doesn't come back

up until you go all the way to the end. So you can go

down a little bit and move it and go down

and move it and hook something and

then go down and go all the way to the

side and then drag it and pick

it up. I kick ass at the Walmart one.

Yeah. One day I

I went in with five bucks and quarters, and I left with three Walmart bags full of toys that I won.

I won every single time.

I cleared out half that machine.

I remember I did that.

It was around Christmas time, too.

I'm really good.

The Walmart ones are so easy to beat, you know, because the other ones, they pack them really tight, you know,

so everything is really hard to get out of there, and you have to aim, and you shoot, and it goes down straight.

The minute you hit the button, it goes straight down and straight back up.

That's it.

it the walmart one you can go down a little bit and you can move it around still and get close

and move down go and you can get close and if it's got like a little tag you get the little

the little hook in one of them you know you go right and then you hook it and then when you get

it hooked in there you go you go all the way to the side and you drag it uh i've i've been to

several walmart's tuck now only in the central florida area but i've been to several of them

and they actually have advertised on them that they're i forgot what it's called better odds

or something like that than the average.

But you can clean out.

But those things are cash cows for companies.

Anybody that has a claw game,

when you play like most people play

where it's packed tight and it's only one shot, one kill,

those right there, those are cash cows

because you're filling it with 50-cent little bears

and you've got people who waste five bucks

trying to get one, literally, if they even do.

Most of the time, people play one or two

and they're like, oh, count my losses.

Why do I still have the image out?

let me get my cam back up here hang on whoops not paying attention here it's 3 p.m 3 0 7 p.m

as a matter of fact this this is a clock up there is it up there no it's right there that clock up

here right there is about three minutes it's about five minutes slow that one right there

in that general area right there right there there we go three it's 308 whatever that time

says there you have five minutes and that's what time it is so oh wait right there that's an 08

okay so who else do we call here uh tuck now we called uh was that the mart oh no we called a

feminist or something i don't know what we call a telemarketer woman for nunu nunu send another

one if you'd like in the meantime give me a give me a kind of food we can do chinese we could do

a greek restaurant maybe what what can we do here what would be fun anybody out there in the chat

room or an aol my uh screen name is madhouse radio if you're using aol or yahoo instant

send messengers send me a message on there let me know any type of restaurant you would like us to

prank call and i'll see if we have it here in our banks confirmed from lonesome loser he's not

available now but if he was i'm sure he'd be sending in good numbers but these are good enough

i'll see what we got here john thatcher joel pollock we got a tgi fridays those are always

loud even in the afternoon they just blast me he's like i hate places like that chuck's steakhouse

and pub let's see what else saint martin rectory oh that's a church saint columbus rectory here's

There's another church.

Look at that, huh?

Our Lady of Assumption Rectory in Carmichael.

Let's call it a Catholic church.

What do you say?

I say we should do that.

Hang on, folks.

Are they opening on Monday afternoon?

I don't know.

They're up.

Dude, they're partying.

Monday afternoons are like,

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.

They're doing all their work for Jesus.

They're in the office.

They're sitting there taking death certificates

and birth certificates

and baptismal certificates.

They're taking, I don't know, food drives.

and their telemarketing

food donations

you know

from the Persian mart

you know

they call the Muslims

like hey

we're the Catholic League

and you know

we want to foster help

between you and us

so we'll give you some rice

you know

they do back room deals

man these churches

do that for real

all day

they got staff back there

just movers and shakers

I know a lot of Catholic churches

they're bought into

the police department too

and they put out

hits on people

and stuff like that

they plant evidence

and drugs

of Catholic churches

all the time

it's a book about it

It's called My Personal Cross

My Personal Cross

I forgot the author's name

But you look for My Personal Cross

There's a book out there

I'm sure it's on Amazon.com

I heard the audio book version of it

And I recommend it

It's about the Catholic Church

In the Northeast

And how they buy out cops and judges

And they plant evidence to bring people down

And it's all like this whole thing

From the Vatican and Rome

It goes way way back

It's serious stuff

I highly recommend that

My Own Personal Cross is the name of the book.

I'll give you a thumbs up.

Plastic Man says I'm giving away their secrets.

That's right.

I might end up being, you know, out.

Excommunicated.

I haven't had communion in so long, so who cares, dude?

Catholic Church coming up next.

Don't go anywhere, folks.

Enjoy this prank call.

Enjoy this music in the meantime.

Good afternoon, Our Lady of Assumption.

Hello, my child.

How are you in Christ's peace?

Good afternoon.

How may I help you?

This is Father Mercortes.

How are you?

I'm fine, thank you.

Very good.

Do you mind if I speak with the pastor, please, my child?

I'm sorry.

He's in a meeting right now.

Oh, goodness me.

Do you have any Saturday service that perhaps I could partake in the ceremony?

It would be great.

You would have to talk to Father.

We have one at 5.30.

I'm in a wheelchair, and I'm a Catholic priest.

You would need to talk to Father.

If you give me your name and number, I will call you.

Father Markunas.

I met him.

I met Father Markunas.

That's the conference with the Catholic Bishops of America

That was beautiful

Father Marconis gave me a phone number here

For this parish unit

But what I need to make sure is

You have installed a ramp

For me, I am in

Is there a step up to the altar

Because I'm in a wheelchair

A motorized

Father, there is a step up

It's a rascal scooter

So can we fashion perhaps a little ramp

For me to move my scooter up

You know what, Father

I can't help you with that

You would need to talk to

I have the beep

It goes like this

when it goes up right you would have to talk to us our pastor i was in the middle of the mess and

i came up with the chalice and i was holding the chalice up high and it was coming up and i'd used

the horn and i was like and then i took a left turn and they spun up the chalice would fly all

over the altar oh my god do you know how you get that amount of wine out of cloth like that um i

I had to burn...

I'll call back later, please.

I have another call.

I took a sledgehammer to the altar.

I was so angry.

Goodbye, my child.

I apologize.

Please, my apologies.

I've been drinking.

Please apologize to Pastor McConaughey for me.

To place a call, press 1.

Jesus Christ, I'm losing it over here.

What the fuck?

That was fucking retarded.

What the fuck?

Emmy Rose is here.

Emmy, you want to go on?

Emmy.

Enemy.

Don't be my enemy.

Just be Emmy.

You know what I'm saying, girl?

I always want to talk to you, me and you, Emmy.

I'm going to talk to you, Emmy, tonight.

If you want to go on tonight, it's fine.

I understand.

Don't worry.

Let me know if you want to talk, you know.

Discuss if you want to go on or not.

Just let me know.

Break it off a little bit.

Just let me know.

All right, just let me know.

I'm going to have a feeling there for a second.

Yeah, I can jump on if you're ready to get off.

Dude, that's what she said.

Dude, this girl and Emmy.

Emmy, you hear what she said?

to me dude

you know I still got it

look at this

she said I can jump on

if you're ready to get off

that's what I'm talking about

Emi

yeah girl

get on camera real quick

I'm not going on

until Emi gets on camera

I want to make sure

she's ready

you know what I'm saying

let me know

damn I didn't know

that came out bad

yeah it came out bad girl

so get on camera right now

show me

I want to know

I'm just playing with you Emi

I'm not going to make you

do dirty nasty stuff

we don't get into that here

that's just a joke

and I want to thank everybody

for listening on Syndicate

we're going to cut Syndicate off

and stay on the rest

of our networks here

for another, maybe another half hour or so, so, uh, you know, you're gonna miss it, I'm

gonna give out what, I'm gonna tell everybody what I'm, what I'm really gonna do to Emmy

when we come back from this break, just a moment, did they have to, did they have to,

um, blow the leaves now, in the middle of my show, is that necessary, the Mexican guy

outside, the Mexicans outside, they have to blow the leaves, right, yeah, there's a

something can we find a number for um hey hey hey hey listen listen let's complain while they're

there let's complain uh to a landscaping company that they're making too much noise next to the

to my house just at random you know let's see if they you know just make a rude complaint you know

an awful rude nasty complaint let's listen to more of that prank call we're playing the quran

and women's menstrual cycles while i try to find a landscaping place here in orlando that i can

a prank call just a moment.

That's a valid question.

Why can't...

You know, it says

in their Koran of theirs.

Can I help you?

Hello?

Hello.

Who was talking?

That wasn't...

Who was talking now?

No, who was talking before

who was rude to me

hung up the phone.

I don't think

he was rude to you.

He was just trying

to answer your questions.

That was my waiter.

He made bad noises

on the mouth

and he hung up the phone.

He made something

under his breath.

He went like that

and it was a bad...

I think he said

a bad word to me.

No, I don't think he said any word.

I was sitting right there listening to the whole conversation.

When he hung up the phone, he thought it was hung up,

and he muttered something under his breath that was a bad word.

Bad words came out of his mouth.

That's not nice.

Okay, but sir, I was there.

So I understand that you may have thought you heard something like that,

but he didn't say anything.

It was too quiet for you to hear because you weren't paying attention like you should be.

Well, how do you know what I was doing?

I was sitting right there.

Well, I know what I heard.

I know what I heard, okay?

What is it that you want?

I don't know what you want.

This is a restaurant, and we serve dinner.

Stupid.

Pardon me?

You're stupid.

That's what is the problem.

All right.

Stupid.

She is stupid.

I'm going to call her back again and call her stupid.

Can I help you?

That's very wrong.

Shame on you.

You have done the worst thing that any person has ever done to any person on the phone in this place ever.

What is that?

You made a bad noise to me after I complained about the other man.

You made a bad noise on the phone under your breath when you hung it up.

I heard it when you...

I just hung you up.

You called me stupid and I hung up.

Sir, I have your telephone number.

If you don't quit calling here, I will call the police.

It's not fair.

It's not fair that you people are treating me like this.

You're harassing me right now.

You're supposed to accept me.

This is harassment.

No.

No, I don't accept anything.

You're supposed to.

You're under obligation.

I'm going to complain.

I'm not obligated on anything.

I'm going to complain to Mr. Valente.

Sir, I'm not obligated for anything.

I play golf with Jack Valente.

You know who I am?

I don't care who you are.

I'm going to complain to Jack Valente.

You're going to be in the newspaper that you're bad, mean people there.

Complain all you want, sir.

I have nothing to do with you.

I don't even know who you are.

Are you people so clean?

Why don't you stop calling here or I'm going to call the police.

Would you eat food on the floor?

Not your floor.

What about your floor?

I would certainly eat food off my floor, but I would be stupid to do that because I don't eat food off the floor.

No, you would because you're a dog.

That's why.

Go to hell.

Hang up the phone.

I command you to hang up the phone.

You don't command me anything.

and by the way

I'm recording this conversation

you play it back

do I sound good

I don't give you permission

to record this conversation

destroy all copies immediately

I didn't give you

permission to call here

I don't give you

permission to record the call

you're in trouble

I got you too

double jeopardy

yeah

that's right

double jeopardy everybody

better than a technicality

fuckers

I had talked myself

out of that one

you thought I was

going to get arrested

I know Carlitos

and everything in the background

yeah man

not me bastards

you funny Carlitos

that's right

yeah

you safe

alright

that was me

me four days ago in the past communicating four days into the future four days times 24

is 197 so 197 hours into the future i was communicating carlito i with myself right there

we're back um i didn't i didn't find i went to i had to go burn an incense because it smells like

um right now here it smells like a fart inside my inside my office and i had to open up the door

and the window and now it's really loud but it's just gonna work for our prank call i got the

window open so i'm doing prank calls here with the windows open and i'm gonna be talking really

loud i don't care i'm badass like that everybody don't fucking play with carlito man if you don't

believe me look i'll show you right now i'll switch the cameras in a second here and i'll show you

how i am doing it with the windows open but in the meantime let me go ahead and find something to do

let's go to good old google maps.google.com and a good place is going to be los angeles la i'm

I'm going to think here, Los Angeles, California, we're going to search for that city, I've

heard of it, I'm sure it exists, do I mean Los Angeles, California, Google is asking

me, yes, yes indeed I do, Google machine, and now we're going to be looking for, let's

see, show search options, businesses, and we're going to put landscaping, landscaping,

alright, there we go, Los Angeles, four seasons landscaping on World Sharp Boulevard in Los

Los Angeles, California.

Cool.

Awesome, awesome, awesome.

We're going to give them a call here and see if they answer and pray and call them.

Just a moment, folks.

Management, Jack Spence.

Can I help you?

Hi, how are you doing, love?

Good, and yourself?

I'm doing, I could be doing better right now.

I'll tell you why.

Your landscaping gentlemen are out here escaping the land,

and they're being so loud outside my window that I cannot concentrate.

Can you please call them off?

Are we doing your property?

Yes, you're doing the property here, and it's driving me absolutely nuts.

It's too loud.

What is your property?

They're outside my window.

Now, look, right now, you can't hear them because they went down there, but they got a big pile of leaves.

And here he comes again.

Listen.

He's coming again.

Hang on.

Hey.

They're being very loud out there.

Can you please call them off?

Can you call them on?

I see he has a Nextel radio.

Could you call him, please?

What is your property?

I believe his name is Jose or Hector.

He looks like a Hector or Jose.

What is your property address?

It's 743 North Hudson.

And we do landscaping for you.

Absolutely.

I see the big sign here.

It says call these people for seasons.

And when there is a problem with the landscaping,

and I'm telling you that they're being too loud,

they're using loud machines that make a noise.

And they smell like gasoline and the fumes are coming in.

Can you please call them right now and tell them?

What is the phone number for the Hispanic man down there?

And I will tell him myself

I don't know which one you're talking about

I'll have to give it

What is your name and phone number?

What is your dispatch department?

I'm sorry?

What is your dispatch department?

I will speak with him at once

Yes, that's why I'm taking a message

What is your name and phone number?

I need to speak to them now

You will put them on the phone

I am a person who can interrupt meetings all the time

I will be

I can interrupt the meetings right now

There's no, wait a minute

You didn't say a meeting until now

What's going on here?

I caught you in a lie

Is it really a meeting?

Tell me the truth. Is there really a meeting? Are you making that up?

Yeah. No.

What is the meeting about? What's the meeting about?

I don't know. I'm not involved in the meeting.

Would you like to leave a message and I could have somebody call you back?

I need you to give them a message immediately to end the meeting.

What is your name?

My name is Jack Valente and I want them to end the meeting immediately.

And your phone number?

No, no, no. I'm going to hold, you see.

Okay. Well, I don't know if that's possible. Hold on one second.

Okay. All right. Good. We're going to be interpreting the meeting here.

Get down to the bottom of this.

I hope they put me on a conference call in the meeting.

It would be the best thing to do.

Don't worry, we're still here.

I'm just muting that noise in the background.

I'm going to play some music.

And they've stopped.

Is this good news?

Hello?

I think they just hung up on me.

Maybe that was the company.

To place a call, press 1.

To listen to your recorded call...

The lady's just hanging out.

We've been having fun here tonight.

Today.

Not tonight.

Today.

...to add minutes to your...

I never must have released that line.

Jesus.

All right, so what's going on?

3-20, 3-31.

I'm going to leave here in about 15 minutes

I'm going to be heading out to go to class

I got class at 7

I like to get there like 3-4 hours early

Get in my groove, do a little bit of homework

Do a little bit of reading

But we've had a great time here today

Tuck, haven't we? Tuck, are you still around? I forgot about you, sir

Yes, yeah

I'm in the studio working

None of the Mexicans are talking loud

I wish I could put a mic out there

I've had a wireless mic, I could go out there and interview them

I had to hit that fan, fan's a little too

do that yeah uh wow so what have we done today um we um we called for uh jobs right we had some

Hollywood the dead also called in for some jobs and yeah yeah we called that my lady she was weird

um we complained to some business didn't we I don't know what we did I'm gonna have fun I'm

gonna put this right on my iPod motherfucker that's what I'm gonna do I'm gonna put this

episode right on my iPod now and uh send it to uh I'll send it to you and everybody else you

You know what I mean? The inner crowd.

Anyway, so let's wrap it up here, guys.

Let's do one more prank call.

What can we call here?

Well, you got any ideas, Tuck, of a business we could do here?

One last one for the night.

Or for the day.

You know what? You got me.

I'm blank.

Hmm. Well, thank you for nothing, sir.

Let's see what Nunu's sending in.

Depot Diner.

All right.

Depot Diner.

Oh, yeah, he has a webcam he wanted to look at, too.

Let's take a look at the webcam, too, huh?

Let me find it here.

Nunu's away right now.

Yeah.

This is kind of fun, Tuck.

Like, you want to try for an earlier start time next week?

Yeah, well, yeah, if you can get your shit together on time.

Yeah, exactly.

No, the thing is, I went out and I bought a new webcam.

That's why the quality's really good right now.

If you're watching on video, I've got a good quality webcam.

I'm going to start putting these pranks on YouTube now.

And we had a lot of good pranks tonight, so that's going to be good.

And the episodes themselves in full are going to replay on the Madhouse Mogulus stream,

which is mogulus.com.

That's M-O-G-U-L-U-S, mogulus.com.

forward slash

Madhouse Live.

That's what it is.

Let me put it up on the screen.

It's already up there.

If you're watching now,

hit the player and be sure to pop it up big

and get an account or whatever.

Just bookmark it.

It's going to run our shows.

As soon as the show's over,

I'm going to replay it right afterwards.

And I'll probably replay it throughout the day

along with the last Thursday's show.

Automatically done.

And then by tonight,

I'll have the new podcast episode up

and I'm going to have some new pranks up on video as well.

I might do a video prank podcast also, I'm thinking.

It would be really cool.

It would just be me.

You'd just be watching me chilling like this like we've been all day

in the background, laughing in the background or doing the call itself.

And I'm thinking that I think the webcam quality is coming in really good

and good enough now that it's actually doable.

So we'll see.

Maybe the lighting quality needs to change a little bit.

I think that might be a problem here, but we'll see.

We shall see.

Okay, so let's take a look at the webcam here.

This is the Depot Diner.

I can put those up on my blog.

That's right.

Yeah, I'll add them to YouTube,

and I'm going to put them up on the MySpace page.

Here's the thing.

If you're listening right now, if you want to help us out,

I'm going to set up like three or four jobs right now for any volunteers.

We can't pay you, but what we're looking for is anybody out there who wants to volunteer.

We need a person to be our representative on MySpace, on Facebook, on Justin.TV, and on Mogulus.

We're going to have different jobs that we need handled here.

just basically like our MySpace guy

all he's got to do is just keep promoting the show

uploading

whenever we do a podcast update

they'll also do a blog update at the same time

just copy paste it

and make sure a lot of people are getting

ad requests and comments and thanks for the ad

that's stuff that I can't do, it's too much for me to do

but if anybody out there who's good with MySpace

and will like that

I'll set you up with a general password

you can go in there and you can volunteer your time

whenever you get a chance and help us out with the MySpace page

that would be great

Great. I would like to set us up with a Facebook page also.

I'm really excited about that, a legitimate Facebook page.

I'm pretty good with the Twitter account, actually.

Yeah, good deal.

So, hey, man, let me know.

Email madhouseradio at gmail.com.

Let me know, or I'll take a look here at the chat in a little bit.

Email him. Don't tell me.

Yeah, don't tell Tuck.

Or Tuck will just have to pass a message on, and then he'll get lost in the shuffle.

Because Tuck is not responsible.

So people are moving the camera around.

I'm going to ask for my dad.

I'm going to call here the Depot Diner.

Whoever's got control of the camera, if you could put it back on the guy at the counter, that's my dad.

And we're going to see if we can get him to come pick up the phone.

Wish me luck.

I don't know the guy's name.

I just know that he's the old guy in blue.

He looks like he's in blue, right?

With the beard.

He's in blue.

He looks like he's getting ready to check out.

I better hurry up and call.

Hang on, folks.

This is the Depot Diner?

Yes.

Hi.

Can I speak to my dad?

He said he was going to be in there tonight.

I can't make it, and my cell phone is not able to reach his.

What's his name?

Yeah, he's over there right now.

My mom said he saw him.

He was just there.

She just left a second ago, and then his phone isn't answering.

What's his name?

He's at the counter.

No, that's not him.

It's Hugh.

Can you tell Hugh to get on the phone, please?

There's nobody here at the depot.

He's in blue, and he's in a blue shirt.

He's there right now.

My mom just left there and said she saw him there.

No, his guy's name is Ernie.

That's him.

Ernie, my dad, Ernie.

You're Ernie.

Put him on, please.

Hello, Ernie.

How you doing, sir?

Did you pick up my hamburger machines?

Hamburger machines?

Yeah.

Can you ask the guy for two hamburger machines with the cheese, please?

Can you tell him?

Two cheeseburgers, right?

Two hamburger machine burgers.

Oh, two hamburger machine burgers.

Can you ask for that?

Can you please specify the need of hamburger machine burgers?

No, I don't see it.

I don't see the kind.

I don't know.

Can you please bring home, like, some potato chips?

Can you have it make me...

Tell the man to give me potato chips.

Oh.

Where are you going now?

Are you coming home, or are you going where to make...

Are you going to make coffee?

Oh, I'll go home.

You're going to come home?

Yeah.

Will you suck my prick a little bit when you get home?

Is that okay?

The prick, your machine we're talking about?

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, you're going to say, right?

Right.

I'm going to say.

So you can come in, and we'll use the machine together, you know?

Oh, okay.

But do you want the mouth, or do you want, how do you, which one, you know, what part?

I'm on.

The mouth?

Yeah, the mouth.

Okay, so you take the mouth, I'm going to take the ass, okay?

Okay.

But don't tell anybody, all right?

Because remember, last time I almost got caught.

All right.

Do you want to do it?

Do you want to?

You're bored?

Yeah, I'm bored.

I'm bored.

Okay.

You want me to go into your apartment so I can go play the games or eat out?

Yeah.

We'll eat out.

I'll eat you out.

Do you want me to eat your ass out?

Yeah.

Okay.

That's fine.

Will you do it back?

I'll wash.

I'll wash it.

I'll wash it with peroxide.

On betadine, I'll put, you know, the black, the brown stuff, the betadine?

Oh.

That's clean.

It's clean.

It's good, clean stuff.

You know it cleans it out, right?

Yeah.

I have it on a hose, and I squirt it in my ass, the betadine.

It goes in my ass, and it comes out brown, like brown, like a brown milk.

Out of my ass milk, it comes out.

Oh, if you want, I'll do it on top of you.

I'll sanitize my ass with the betadine, like, on top of you.

Oh, it's the game down the mouth?

Yeah, that's the one.

Would you be into that?

Would that be something maybe we could do?

What happened to Carrie?

Carrie didn't talk to you?

Carrie, she found out about what happened with me,

and then ever since then, she didn't want to be with me anymore.

She walked in on me with another, you know,

there was another guy where we were using the machine together, you know,

and, yeah, it was bad.

So now all I have is a machine and me,

but I thought maybe you want to share the machine with me.

Yeah.

All right.

Cool.

So why don't you come right now?

Okay, I will.

Okay.

Okay, will you bring me some, um, will you order me a hamburger?

Okay.

Can you tell him now before you go?

Because I want to tell him, you get him over, tell him you need to order a hamburger for me.

Victor?

Yeah, I'm going to pay you.

Tell the man that you're going to order something to eat.

And the phone?

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

All right, thanks.

It's okay.

Go ahead and put the, uh, the phone, uh, go ahead and just throw it in the sink over there, okay?

Yeah, throw, throw the phone, just throw it over there in the sink if you could, okay?

Please?

Um, this is, uh, a train depot.

Yeah, I know, I know, but you, he, he said.

to put the phone, he's going to wash the phone, so just put it in the sink. No, he's watching

the computer right now, so, you know. Do you see the trash can over there? Do you see the

trash can over there? Trash can? Yeah. What's the, Spongebob trash can? Yeah, do you see

it there? Yeah. Can you go ahead and put the phone inside that, please? Yeah, do you see

it there? Alright, thank you. Yeah. Can you go ahead and put the phone inside that, please?

Okay.

All right, go ahead and just put it there, and don't turn it off.

Just put it inside there, okay?

Okay, okay.

All right, thank you.

He's doing it.

Look, he put it in the trash can.

He put it in the fucking trash can.

Oh, man, I wish you could have captured the webcam.

He actually took the phone and put it in the trash can at the counter.

Who the fuck is that guy?

Did he leave?

Nunu, whoever's got the camera, pan up.

Let's pan up on it.

hang on let's see if let's see i got him on hold like a bus or something like that oh my god i

should have i should have had someone capture the webcam that guy's nutso he left look he left he

was sitting there he got up and he ran away oh man i gotta get over this cold but that is something

look at that huh he actually put it in the damn trash can awesome guys uh good good work all around

effort tonight look there he's coming back hang on hang on the guy's coming back the guy's coming

back hang on let's see i'm trying to see if i get him to hear i got to turn the volume down so it

doesn't blow up your ears he's not hearing it damn it he's walking by but he's not hearing it

get one i want to see if i get him to pick it up like hello i was like yeah that guy threw

he got mad he threw the phone in the trash bag you know it would be really funny i'm sorry guys

it'd be really funny if we kept this on and actually threw the trash bag away with the trash

trash and we're sitting there watching him throw the trash did the phone away we have recording

as it goes out of range as they take it outside or back to the dumpster oh man we're gonna have

to keep watching that see what happens see you guys see if they ever fix it find the phone

like i can't stay on any longer it's almost four o'clock i'm late i'm not late for class but

my class isn't for another three hours and 20 minutes but i do like to get there early and

i got a little bit of homework to catch up i know it'll take me like a half hour so

Well, I'll keep the line open here just in case the guy hears.

If I see him go by, I'm going to yell at him again to see if he hears it.

I'll mash the buttons and see if he'll pick it up.

Hang on, is that some motion?

I saw something move.

No.

Or maybe if a customer comes next door, I'll hit the buttons and see if he comes back.

Oh, my God, that was too funny.

I didn't see the comments in the chat room.

Let me just take a look at that.

Yeah, Oscar the Grouch's phone.

I'll need to use his call back.

Wait a minute, that's right.

Hang on.

it was a cordless phone right so no it won't ring if i if i do that if i if i hang up and i call back

it's not going to ring dude because it's going to be off the hook on that end over there it's not

going to automatically disconnect that's the problem the phone's off the hook you can hear

the back you can hear in the background i gotta turn it up all the way now i don't know unless

i get another number look and see if they have a second line somewhere we can find to the depot

diner it's so funny i love that i think nunu whoever's controlling the camera good camera

Hammerwork, dude.

If it's Nunu or whoever it is,

that's splendid work, sir.

We've got a fix right on the trash bag

where he put the cordless phone in.

You can hear the train going by.

Apparently it's a train stop diner.

I think he had to go get his train.

The guy's like, okay.

He throws the phone in the trash can

and then goes and gets his train.

Catches his train and wherever it is that he's going.

Some crazy mouth breather.

Poor guy.

guy who's apparently

some bisexual hobo

who thinks

some guy that he knows called him over

to come over to share a fake

pussy machine or something. Who knows what

the fuck he thought the machine was.

So we'll see if he comes back, everybody.

That's Adipo done. I'm going to keep it on the background, but we've got to

start wrapping it up here. Anyway,

so in the meantime, thank you everyone for listening this afternoon.

I promise next week we'll start more

early. Earlier, I think, is what

it's really called. Earlier, we'll

start next week, everybody. Oh, yeah.

I want to thank The Dead, Hollywood Vanya, for sending in numbers to Tuck.

Everyone be sure to visit Tuckermike.com.

Tuckermike.

Tuckermike.com.

You got links to your blog.

You got links to the Revoluta Tucker blog there also, don't you, sir?

As far as I understand.

So everyone be sure to...

Yeah, check it out.

Something new every day.

All right.

That's right, sir.

So everyone be sure to visit Tuckermike.com.

It's over there on the internet.

You can visit SyndicateRadio.tv.

Thank you to them for hosting us.

People like all the racism entries lately.

All right.

That's good.

uh syndicate the the soup du jour i got you uh the syndicate radio.tv folks over there thanks

we're going to be back there on on thursday night uh thursday night at 10 p.m eastern standard time

any any word yet on the uh no it doesn't look like anybody's gone by here lately i'm just

taking another game to the depot diner see they got a little uh door there i bet you'll get busier

when the next train comes in and i'll probably get busy and if i could hold on don't figure it out

Yeah, but there it is.

It's right there.

That's the trash can it's in, isn't it?

There you go, folks.

Someone take a screen capture of that.

Yeah, Nunu, take a screen capture.

I tried to call it and make him look around for it.

Yeah, I took a screen capture of him when he was doing it.

I don't know if it came out.

I think the control is, isn't it a control print screen?

You don't know, because you've got a Mac.

But I'm pretty sure it's control or shift control print screen, one of those.

I did both of them.

and hopefully i got a screenshot that i can edit out with with at least a guy while he was he was

getting ready to put it in there is walking towards it and uh if we get a screenshot of

just the trash can there'd be awesome to put together but yeah we'll hold off here and

hopefully this guy will uh will come by i'll keep watching the background and i gotta go take a

shower and all that so anyway let's get out of here folks so yeah i was saying you know

tucker might.com syndicate radio.tv thanks for having us on tonight of course we'll be back

Back on Thursday night at 10 p.m. Eastern Standard Time.

Is that a hat or is that a person?

That's just a hat.

Damn it.

All right, folks.

We'll catch you next week.

We'll catch you Thursday.

Good night.

Calls (20, 1 h 17 min of 2 h 10 min)

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