2008-11-27 Show

listen buddy you don't come to my house and do this kind of shit you want to be civilized fine

if you don't want to be civilized you want to come up here and threaten me i'm going to start

shooting holy shit i survived you know i'm god damn it i can survive this holy shit so if you

want to have a have it out you just come up here and threaten me who the fuck is this

listening to the madhouse radio podcast hey everybody what's going on i am somebody here

here on the mic it is thanksgiving 2008 that would make it november 27th thursday you're listening

to madhouse radio as i said last week we would start late at 11 o'clock and i did deliver we're

here now hope you're all enjoying your evenings hope you all had a happy thanksgiving here with

me tonight is milkman via satellite link up what's up milkman how you doing dude milkman is on mute

let me take milkman off the mute milkman how you doing tonight right here all right good deal

Hey man, hey buddy

Hey stupid, how you doing?

Good deal, awesome to know

I'm doing pretty good, it's been a good Thanksgiving

We'll get to that in a moment

Also here of course is Tuck

Tuck from Tuckermike.com

What's up man

Look at this

Look at this guys

I'm gonna show you something

If you're looking on camera right now

Hold on

Let me put on the music right now

Right here

I don't know if you guys are looking on camera

Right here

Right now

I never had an ingrown hair

After

My first ingrown hair ever

From shaving

And I got it

Oh yeah I see that

Oh my god

That thing was painful

I squoze and I squoze

And I think I had to take

The pliers

Had to take the pliers to it

She had to take something to it

Happy Thanksgiving to you

tweezers yeah you gotta get a pair of tweezers yeah dtt has the same thing needle dtt has a

has a hair problem apparently i ain't growing hair i heard about them i never got one before

because i bought a cheap razor and it screwed things up and i have a cigar one light but i

do not have a lighter one time that katie k had an ingrown what anal hair or something he had a

cyst on his ass or something didn't he he has something like that like a cyst

why bring things down why bring them up god anyway so i hope you all had a happy thanksgiving

i wasn't trying to bring things down anyway moving right along we just i just literally

i sat down to the computer here i got home finally um from thanksgiving for my second

thanksgiving dinner of the day my second thanksgiving appearance and um whoa check

wow yeah baby and uh what happened uh literally just i i almost didn't go on because i thought

man it's late already and i'm not ready made it home later than i thought i would but i

had enough time and i squoze it in you didn't you didn't say no show two seconds later never

mind i'm setting up yeah well i honestly didn't think i didn't think i could set everything up

so quickly but i i'm such a professional that i was able to get it get it down yeah so we uh

We traveled quite a bit.

We spent the night last night at my...

I'll tell you what.

Milkman and Tuck, I don't know if you've ever had this happen before,

but we spent the night at my parents' house last night.

And it's the first time that I ever shared a bed with Athena in my old bedroom.

You know, that I grew up in.

I grew up in his house.

So, you know, we were...

Awesome.

So, you know what?

A little fantasy work going on.

I'll tell you what.

She's not listening now, but we played high school

last night, man. It was fun.

You missed that, Milkman. I'm sorry you missed it.

That was a flop.

Yeah, man.

Playing high school is fun.

It was all about, hey, let's play

high school.

Yeah, it's

It's quite

It was quite the fun, to be honest with you.

You know, all guys have that

I mean, I don't know if all guys have that fantasy, but

You know, I never, to be honest with you

I never ever hooked up with a girl

I don't think I ever hooked up with a girl

No I did I did

I had a girlfriend that I took back to my parents house a few times

Oh my god dude

I got so much trouble for that shit

Girls screaming

Yeah you gotta be quiet

So you gotta be quiet and all that stuff

Oh my god my mom was just so fucking mad

Why

She knew better than to try and break in

Cause she knew I would go off

Yeah well when she caught you with other guys

Like that you know it's a good thing she never did

did because you'd be outed and exactly so that was that i mean it didn't happen on my parents bed

i wasn't about to do that nasty stuff so you know that's that story so i hope as i said i hope you

all had a good thanksgiving you have time to scoot over yeah exactly okay come on move over

i'm trying to get laid over here you got the nice bed on the water the bad bob yeah um someone was

asking if i was drinking i'm not i drank i had two beers throughout the whole day i had a beer

Beer with my first dinner and my beer with my second dinner.

That's it.

Not about to get pulled over on one of the biggest nights for getting pulled over for DUIs.

Now, fuck that shit, dude.

And honestly, I have one empty beer here from yesterday.

I don't have any beer in the house.

I had a Natty Light left over from who knows when.

It was in the fridge, and I grabbed it when I got home from work last night.

And that's it.

So, no, no alcohol, nothing.

Nothing.

And I don't smoke pot anymore, nothing like that.

I might have to get into here a little something-something.

What are you going to get into?

Are you going to huff some paint over there, Milkman?

I know that you're into that.

Lonesome Loser is checking in with some numbers here.

Oh, hell yeah.

Lonesome Loser.

I got a big bottle of sake, man.

I'm going to heat up.

Oh, boy.

That's awesome.

Cool.

You can put it in the microwave.

Good deal.

Sake.

You'll have hot, tight snow, man.

Right in the bottom.

You'll have hot sake.

Yeah, of course.

Just right in your head, man.

It's the only way to do it.

You're going to have sake.

you gotta have a hunt um yeah uh lonesome loser lonesome loser you know we were talking earlier

i wasn't sure about doing this show also because you know we're a prank call show and how did you

prank calls to people businesses and stuff when it's when it's thanksgiving they're all closed

but he does there are places that are open uh we already have numbers here he's uh he said it's a

little more difficult tonight he's not getting responses as he normally does uh but definitely

we do have some people answering so we got some prank calls we're going to do here tonight

night everybody we're excited about that uh starting out here with the grouchy chef the

grouchy chef in washington we also we're going to call some homes today so if you have anybody

you know that you want us to prank call we normally don't call uh individual numbers we

usually call businesses or or or things like that we don't try to bother people at home

excuse me but if um if you do have uh someone you want us to call

We're literally in England at 4 o'clock in the morning.

That's right.

We can, well, I don't have an international phone card, but if we do get one throughout the night, then we can call England.

But if you have someone you want us to prank call for you tonight, let us know.

We'll do that.

We'll keep you anonymous, as always.

We have Harry and Christina Drebin here, a foreign-sounding woman who answered us here in Florida.

We have Dioki Dube in New York.

We also have Goytri Dube.

And running things out here, we've got Bong-Yo-Ha.

the last name is H-U-H

Bong Yul Ho

those are all good choices

and it really makes sense

because they probably are not thinking about

Thanksgiving they might be

thinking about Chow Mein

yeah

Sin Sticks is

talking about call the Butterball Hotline

I was talking to my friend about that

Butterball Hotline

there's 50 people now and they've outsourced

it you know

have they really outsourced those to now

to china india yeah oh god really it was india yeah they was talking about it here on kfi oh

that's fucking horrible why would they do that they don't know anything about that

anyway uh what i want to look up here i don't know if they're open this late but i did i did

it here a rehearsed script well i don't know we'll have we'll take a look maybe i'll be able

to um maybe i'll be able to do that if you want to send me a message you can my uh screen name

You can send it to me in the chat room.

You can also send me a message on Madhouse Radio

if you're using AOL or Yahoo Instant Messenger.

Madhouse Radio is the screen name, again,

for AOL and Yahoo Instant Messengers.

Be sure to get a hold of me over on the screen name Madhouse Radio.

Also, if you're an MSN messenger,

madhouseatlive.com.

Again, that's madhouseatlive.com

if you're an MSN messenger.

You can also join us here on the toll-free line tonight.

Milkman, what is that toll-free line?

Hey, man, we do have a toll-free line.

That number is 888-509.

That's right.

We got the dime.

You just give us the time.

Right.

So, again, that's 1-888-278-8509.

That's our toll-free line where you can reach us here tonight.

I'm trying to get Mogulus to start recording.

How do you do that?

I hit a button that says record, and it just kind of sits here.

It says record, and it says ready, but it doesn't record.

cue a video or camera

to start recording alright well we'll try

cueing this again let's see it's

cued and I do that and it doesn't

do it huh that's interesting it's not working

give me a moment here

I want to make sure that I

make sure that we record this shit

hang on give me a second here I gotta fix

a damn camera now motherfucker

so anyway Tuck what did you do you went out for

you went out for Thanksgiving yourself

yeah kind of a

skier okay cool

Okay, cool, well good

Yeah, we went to the last dinner we just got

The last dinner we just got back from

Was in a brand new house

You know, kind of celebrating their first Thanksgiving

In their new house, shit like that

But I don't want to travel next year, man

I want people to come to my house next time

I'm tired of this

Every year, I travel and this and that

Fuck that

Yeah, that's more better

It's a big deal when we have to go out

Yeah, it is a big deal

It's a big annoying deal when you have to do that

They're all driving and stuff.

Anyway, we also have Batman Grain.

They are answering.

A redneck guy answered.

Let's call the redneck guy at Batman Grain.

Texas Farm.

Someone find me that Butterball hotline number and call it.

See if they're still answering.

I don't know if they are.

Let me know if they're still answering the line.

Dude, what happened in Mumbai?

What's this about?

There's some terrorists in India, and they're all Pakistani?

I was watching this this morning, and my parents...

Radical Pakistanis are trying to start a bunch of shit,

and they've killed like over 138 people already jeez you gotta fill us in on that yeah dtt who

knows he's our muslim correspondent there's no dtt why why did this intifada start and why

why are people angry in india i know pakistanis always got anger dr gorillas is over 100 deaths

probably a couple hundred injured i know a lot of shooting a lot of blowing stuff up uh yeah

Yeah, burning and stuff.

It's not good.

And apparently a threat on the New York subway system.

So if you're in New York, I would recommend you don't ride the subway because apparently the subway is full of crazy people.

Crazier than normal.

They're going to touch you on the subway bus.

When you get in, they're going to touch your bags and touch your person.

So just dig in and touch shit.

The guy that took a shit inside the subway there in England, he moved to New York, actually.

And he's behind that whole thing.

Yeah, that's the bomb.

is gonna lay a turd in there all right cool guys let's do this prank call here let's do the first

call of the night this is going to be the batman grain in a texas farm yeah a redneck man answered

there about six minutes ago so you should be still up here anybody if you have any requests as i said

before please feel free to turn uh shoot them in and uh yeah we'll go on we'll go on from there

hang on folks just a moment you know what's funny just realized something my phone card out of

minutes you gotta buy more minutes so we're gonna have to play a prank call in the meantime and i

I've got to find my wallet.

You know what the deal is?

They've got auto billing now with Spoof Card,

but I still haven't set it up like a dumbass.

So we're going to have to find something to play.

I don't think Hollywood...

We had a good show here on Syndicate

and on the Madhouse stream.

Tuck, you were here for it on Monday.

We're going to start doing Monday morning shows now.

We had a really good one last week.

We did the rounds.

We applied for jobs that were in the Sunday paper,

stuff like that.

Good time, good time.

If you miss it,

It's already uploaded on the Madhouse Live website.

Now, in the meantime, let me take a look here.

Now, we did that one call.

Tuck, you remember the last call of the day that we did to that retarded guy on the webcam that we could see?

Oh, yeah.

Had him throw the phone in the trash can.

Trash can.

Yeah, the trash can guy.

This goofy guy here, we had him on webcam.

He was sitting at a diner.

We asked to talk to him, had a weird conversation with him about having sex in a machine.

You saved those links to that cam, right?

Yes.

Yes, I do have them captured, so we might make a video eventually with it all.

Actually, it looks like Hollywood has uploaded a lot of content here.

Hollywood, I think you have, haven't you there?

You crazy monkey, you.

Yeah, Vault is updated.

Okay, cool.

Crazy monkey.

All right, cool, awesome.

So we're going to play a prank call here while I get my phone card purchased.

So we got telemarketer job.

I think that's the one that I like.

The Dead did a call here for an alarm company, which is pretty cool.

landscaping call

those were average

fax machine

yeah we'll listen to that later here

let's put a telemarketer job first

this is from our show on Thursday

we'll be doing another show on Thursday

I think we're going to start around

you want to start around 10am

that's pretty fast on that modulus

yeah is it

awesome

working on it man

alright so the quote

Carlito is so excited about becoming a telemarketer

or that he just can't wait to get started.

In fact, he wants to skip the hiring process and begin now.

That's right.

This is my tribute to telemarketing, I suppose.

It's going to queue up in a second.

We'll be playing that in a moment, folks.

Listen to the song.

We'll start playing that prayer and call.

We'll be right back, and we'll pray and call the redneck guy.

Got it?

Got it.

Good, good.

Hello, am I speaking to a person?

Hello?

You are speaking to a person.

Wonderful.

How may I help you?

I'm calling regarding your customer service rep job.

Okay, so currently what we have available that we are seeking are experienced telemarketers

to handle our outbound sales calls on several different programs that we have.

All right.

Do you have any experience in that area?

Yeah, absolutely.

I have six years experience in that, and I'm here to grab the tiger by the tail

and grab it by the belt loops and hump it into submission and make those sales.

That sounds great.

So what you can do is go into our Longwood location, fill out an application.

We'll give you an on-site meeting with management

We'll go over your credentials

And see what program works best with your experience

Wonderful, I have wonderful credentials

I am guaranteed

Put me down for an interview and a job offer

I will have my pen ready to send

Okay sir, we don't have

You can go in for an interview between 9 to 1

Or 2 to 4, Monday through Friday

You don't understand, when I come in I get that job

We don't have any set appointments

I get the job

I get the job, I get the job

no matter what i always get the job baby i told you i said i'm gonna grab i'm gonna i grabbed the

job by the belt by the hips and i put it right in it yeah damn with that would you like our address

yeah i'm gonna grab it come here job i've taken the job address sir give me that job yeah give it

come on yeah give me the job yeah it's that six thousand five i don't that doesn't chop uh let

Let me put it in my GPS.

Hang on.

Are you taking down the address?

454-54-SW-7.

I got it.

Okay.

And that's it?

Where is it at?

Please confirm.

It's coming in between 9 to 1 and 2 to 4, Monday through Friday.

Hang on.

So I have you down for a job offer 9 to 1 and 2 to 4, Monday through Friday?

Great.

Yes, sir.

That's excellent.

So I'll take those hours.

I can absolutely work that schedule.

That's fine.

Oh, okay.

All right.

So we'll see you when you come in.

So do I have to bring a copy of my driver's license and social security number?

You'll only need that once they hire you, sir.

Just come in and fill out the application.

You just made me the offer, 9 to 1 and 1 to 4.

You said that was my shift.

9 to 1 and 2 to 4, come in to fill out the application.

I can work that.

That's fine.

I'll take the offer from 9 to 1 and 2 to 4.

Sir, just please come in and fill out the application during those hours, sir.

Sir, we'd be glad to interview you between those hours.

Is that Monday through Friday?

Monday through Friday, sir.

Do you have a shift differential?

Can we change it for a different time?

Sir, you can find out about all that once you come in and fill out the application and meet with management, okay?

What if I come in at 1 o'clock?

Can I leave at 10 instead?

Well, sir, if you come in at 1 o'clock, you will not have an interview.

The interviews are from 9 to 1 to 2 to 4, okay?

I don't understand.

9 to 1 and 2 to 4.

But I want a change for the second shift.

I want a second shift.

John, please.

Please.

To place a call, press 1.

We're desperate.

It's so desperate out there right now with the jobs, man.

That felt good to do.

Oh, my God.

Wow.

Your phone has that weird smell again.

Gotten grained.

Hey there, buddy.

How many grains do you have available right now?

A lot of them.

That's good.

Can you put me in order for about two pounds of your...

During the recent screening...

Oh, fuck.

...notice an issue regarding your account.

Fuck.

For your protection, please have your pin ready and contact our customer support.

Fucking asshole.

I don't know what always happens.

I'm going to call them tomorrow, if they're even open tomorrow,

and they're going to tell me, I don't know why you're flagged.

I just unflagged your account.

Shouldn't happen ever again.

And sure enough, in about two weeks, I'm going to get flagged again for no fucking reason.

God damn it, that sucks.

They got this, I don't understand why this screening, they have this whole,

I just bought the phone card now, right?

They had a whole new verification process with Visa.

And they're still going to cut me off for extra screw...

Why do they always do that?

Damn it, man.

Pisses me off.

So now what do we do?

Anybody want to help out?

Let's try to call the Butterball line.

Let's see if the Butterball line's open.

Hang on, I misdialed it.

Let's see what it is.

Shut up.

1-800-BUTTERBALL

B-U-T-T-E-R-B.

They say there's extra numbers, so...

Welcome to Butterball.

To be connected to our Butterball Turkey Talk Line,

for information on turkey preparation and cooking assistance,

press or say 3.

They're open still.

Our home economists are not in the office at this time.

Please call back Monday through Friday

between the hours of 8 a.m. and 6 p.m. Central Standard Time.

Stay on the line.

Stay on the line for what?

Leave a message about what?

About my turkey?

bullshit i guess it is too late right for people to be sitting there taking calls about turkey

dinners well that is great hollywood's asking did we i didn't use all your time no hollywood um

not sure uh give me the pen again if you want to let us use it sure i can do that

that's something we can do great all right cool this is got 10 minutes right now crazy

fucker happy thanksgiving how are you sir hey bastard how you doing i got yeah like uh i know

You know, you respect this fucking bullshit with Thanksgiving and all that fucking bullshit, right?

You think it's a conspiracy also, like everything else?

Well, it's not a conspiracy, brother.

It's just what you think it is, you know?

It's like whatever creed you give to it, you know?

So what did you do today?

Did you eat food?

I mean, of course you ate food.

No, I haven't ate food today, you know?

I like, I've been, I'm so fucking depressed I've been drinking beer all day here, you know?

What's wrong with you?

Because last week you said I was a fucking Republican,

and that kind of fucking hurt my spirit.

I'm sorry.

I thought that I was the last guy you'd ever think was a fucking Republican.

I know.

I'm sorry about that.

I mean, that was a low blow.

I'm sorry.

That was a low blow.

All right, man.

I won't let that happen again.

I know you're not a Republican or a Democrat.

You're something else.

Well, no, no.

No, I'm not like, I'm just like, I'm a U.S. American citizen there that's got a lot of, you know,

hey, brother, you don't even know me, do you?

You don't even fucking know me, do you?

No, not really.

Well, what about your prison time?

We've talked about, people asking for you to tell us about your prison time.

We've talked about that before.

You were in there with Suge Knight.

Shit, man, I was in prison with Charlie Manson's family.

family, people that, millionaires that were convicted of murder, you know, millionaires,

dude, I've been locked up, dude, get over that fascination with being locked up in prison

and shit.

All right, well, no, it's what the people were asking, was it federal or state?

It was state.

Yeah, because you were...

State of California, dude, I never had a fucking, I never even had a fucking misdemeanor

before I fucking started speaking the truth out against the fucking motherfuckers

that are controlling the state of California there where I live, you know.

So what did you do?

Did you make a threat about the governor or something like that?

What happened?

The governor?

Yeah, what'd you do?

The governor of California is a fucking Nazi piece of shit.

He never bothered me, man, you know.

All right, so what happened?

You've never mentioned before what you got popped for.

What did you get your first time?

Actually, dude, I didn't even have a fucking misdemeanor conviction

until I started speaking out against the fucking fascist police

coming down on my property that I legally owned

and pointing guns in my face.

Why?

Why would they come down?

Who called the cops on you?

What was the deal?

Well, you ever heard of CAMP, Campaign Against Marijuana Planners?

I've heard of such a thing.

I can imagine what that would mean.

Well, they're federally funded pieces of fucking shit parasites

that are feeding off of us American people in this country,

and they get big money there from, you know,

You know, they do not want people to smoke marijuana or grow hemp or anything.

They're the filthy pieces of shit that is in office in the presidency of the United States right now.

The filthy fucking pieces of fucking shit.

All right, so you were growing weed and you got...

No, I wasn't growing weed, dude.

I wasn't growing the weed.

They come down on me.

They come down on me with a helicopter, and I wasn't growing no weed.

Was it a black helicopter?

It was a fucking green helicopter there, motherfucker.

You want to know the name of the motherfucker that was driving the helicopter?

Well, you know, they say the black helicopters, you know, unmarked black helicopters.

Okay, here's the bottom line.

As they come and stuck guns in my fucking face, they didn't find anything illegal,

and they told me that if I knew it was good for me, I'd better forget they was ever there, right?

That's the truth.

Well, I said, fuck you, motherfucker.

I said, you can't come on my fucking land and stick guns in my fucking face

and then tell me that you wasn't even fucking here.

Well, it's eminent domain.

I mean, they have the right to come on your property.

Who's they?

The federal government fuckers that you say to talk about.

Well, dude, dude, are you a federal government motherfucker?

I've been kind of having an affair with a federal girl.

Oh, so you think you've got a right to go on somebody else's land and stick guns in their face?

Well, not stick guns in their face, but you can threaten them a little bit and, you know, go into their house and stuff like that.

Oh, you think you can go into somebody's house?

Well, I mean, it depends on what color their skin is.

I mean, you're like dark skin, right?

Dude, dude, I think you're pranking me right now.

You Republicans think you're always being...

I think you think I'm going to fall for your bullshit, right?

You Republicans with your all my rights.

Oh, all right.

Hey, hey, if I'm a Republican, where's my $100 million in my bank account there, brother?

All right, so here...

Where's my $100 million in my bank account?

I know.

I'm just messing with you, man.

Sorry.

Yeah, I know, and I'm messing with you.

So tell me, so they landed, a green helicopter came out, and some CIA people, I mean, were

they Hispanic-looking, or what race were they?

Were they Americans?

It was a white piece of shit.

And he lives about 50 miles north of me.

All right.

And it's like he's still alive.

So did you have...

All my enemies are still alive.

But anyway, brother, that's not what I called you to talk to you about.

Did you have a lot of acres?

Was there like a lot of land that you had that they suspected you were growing the weed?

Actually, I owned fucking five acres of land.

And it's like legally mine.

They stole from me and put me in prison seven years and eight months, dude.

and you won't think it's funny when it happens to you, you know?

I know.

But you're already a fucking slave of that shit, right?

You support Obama and Bush, right?

You support the authorities, right?

You support authorities.

Look, to be honest with you, as long as they're picking up the trash on time

and keeping, you know, crazy people up.

What do you consider trash?

Oh, my garbage.

You consider it like that.

My refuse.

Your refuse, huh?

Yeah.

What I refuse.

What do you refuse there?

What are you talking about?

You know, like, let's see.

As long as you can go down to your local supermarket

and buy your false fucking protein and shit and your food and shit,

you think that you're free?

You think you're a free fucking motherfucker?

Hey, you're a veteran, aren't you?

You was in the military, wasn't you?

Yeah, I was.

I was on 82nd Airborne, yes, sir.

Well, okay, in my opinion, man, you're a piece of fucking shit, man.

You should go to Iraq and come back in a fucking sack.

That's mad.

You should go to Iraq and come back in a fucking sack.

I almost did.

Yeah, you should.

You should.

Because you're not going to turn my country into Iraq there, motherfucker.

Maybe I do.

You know, I wish I had.

I'm sorry there.

Your nigger Obama might give you millions of dollars,

but, brother, you ain't going to turn my country into Iraq.

You know what?

You piece of shit.

You piece of fucking shit.

If I was still in the airborne, I would fly a helicopter over your house

and I would jump out of the helicopter and let the helicopter, like, crash into your house?

You know what, dude?

Dude, I don't even own a house, dude.

I don't even have a house.

But if you was to do that, I would crash your fucking helicopter there, dude.

I would crash your fucking helicopter before you get within fucking five miles of my house.

Not before I pushed you out.

I got friends out there, man.

Not before I pushed you out of the helicopter first.

Oh, dude, you're like Carlito there, right?

You're like a real American there, right?

You support all the death and destruction in Iraq.

You're a real American.

All right, crazy fucker.

Aren't you?

You're a real American.

Well, I say this, Carlito.

Hey, I'll tell you this, buddy.

All right, buddy.

What's that?

All right, I'll tell you this.

Did you eat some turkey today?

I had a little bit, not much.

I'm not a big fan of the Turk.

You know what I pray?

You know, every day I pray that every...

I pray that George Bush and Barack Obama eats turkey today

and dies of toxic turkey syndrome.

Toxic turkey syndrome.

I got to let you know.

Yeah, I pray that every day that George Bush and all his...

There's probably 25% of the people in this country that need to be murdered,

and they're called the Corporation War Profiteers Defense Contractors.

Yes, they're the parasites that feed off of us American people.

They're the pieces of fucking excrement that wear three-piece business suits

and think they own it all.

Oh, did you, hey, Carlito, before we go there, are you aware that,

hey, Carlito, are you still with me?

I'm here, yeah, yeah.

Okay, are you aware that the latest bankers that picked up their welfare checks for $155 billion,

they flew their private Gulfstream airplanes there for their conclave there?

Yeah, they should have flown it right into your house.

They what?

They should have flown it into your house in a helicopter and then arrested you again.

I'm a Republican.

Oh, no, actually, sir, I'm arrest-proof there, brother,

because I'm not even here when the pigs knock on the door.

I'm not even here, brother.

All right.

That's right, man.

I'm not up there, man.

I'll tell you what.

I got to tell you what, sir.

Hey, you keep sucking their cock there, brother.

You suck Obama's cock, right?

You're a cocksucker Obama fucking faggot, right?

Hey, I'll tell you what there, brother.

Just, just, just, don't, don't, it's like, don't expect me to, uh, when you're falling apart and all your fucking bullshit's falling apart, don't expect me to fucking, uh, pick you up there, brother.

Well, that's messed up.

All right, crazy fucker, you have a sweet night, man.

Hey, hey, hey.

I love you.

You know, you, you, you should take over for Howard Stern's that dirty fucking Jew faggot.

All right.

You should take over for Howard Stern's that Jew faggot.

All right, man.

Take care.

Christ.

I mean, I can understand the Jew part, but not the faggot part.

i would say the guy's married another republican for you crazy fucker everyone so let's get

republican attitude i want to get this right crazy fucker was in his house and a green helicopter

landed and some guy came out and pointed a gun in his face and said if he knew what was good for him

it never happened and then he got arrested somehow one day we'll get to the bottom of that story but

so far that's our investigation as to why crazy fucker was in jail he was on art bell

Cussing and carrying on

With like politicians and stuff

I actually remember hearing him

On Art Bell in the old days

I never knew that he got arrested for all that

So is that what it was?

I heard him on Art Bell

Cause you know I remember Andy

Our old co-host here

I remember him being on Art Bell

He used to call him with some crazy shit

So you think he got in trouble

For calling Art Bell so much?

We better watch out cause next thing we know

He must have made some kind of threat

He was talking about a bunch of politicians and making a bunch of shit on the air,

and he got popped for that's a story that he told a while back.

I was hoping if we talked about Art Bell, we'd hear about it again next time we made an Art Bell show.

Yeah, maybe that's what it was.

That's true.

He did say he used to make several appearances on the Coast to Coast.

What is it called?

Coast to Coast FM?

Oh, yeah.

He would pop crazy shit.

Yeah, it used to be Coast to Coast AM.

but it was with Art Bell, not George Norrie.

Right.

I've been listening for years.

I've caught it here and there.

He doesn't host that show anymore, doesn't he?

Doesn't someone else host it now for him or something?

No, George Norrie.

Somebody else does it.

He only comes in on weekends or special occasions.

I was listening for like a week or so, and he came on once.

He's like, yeah, I have to quit the show.

I can't tell you why.

Some people visited me, but I have to quit the show.

I'm like, wow, what the fuck is that?

And then he came back and he's like, oh, I don't have to quit the show.

Every six months.

Every six months he says that.

I think that was a crazy fucker who had called him up and threatened him.

Probably.

He would quit the show every six months.

So what's our Bill's deal?

He believes in aliens and stuff to extraterrestrial cover-ups and things of that nature?

Is that what it is?

Pretty much, yeah.

I don't think it's so much he believes in it.

He gets people talking about it.

And it's funny because then he'll get people saying all kinds of crazy shit.

He doesn't really like taking an opinion.

You know, he just kind of, like, lets them talk.

That makes them good, entertaining listeners, hearing their crackpots going on all night.

Good deal.

Okay, well, that was Crazy Fucker.

We love him.

You know, he's crazy, and he's, lately, he's been kind of, I don't know, kind of depressed,

and even said to himself, I'm kind of worried about you, Crazy Fucker.

So, if you're listening still, man, don't take, I'm missing, I'm just messing with you.

He didn't get the Republican presidency back.

Exactly.

He's upset because George Bush has gone away.

Yeah, that's right, and because John McCain didn't win.

He's obviously a Republican who's upset, and you guys need to just chill out about that kind of stuff.

Okay.

Okay, so look, we've got a lot of numbers here to call.

Denny's Restaurant, we've got the White Mountain Apache Tribe.

That's right, casinos are open.

What else is open today?

What's open today?

Gas stations, you've got Denny's is open, right, for sure.

You've got some casinos open, I'm sure, here as well.

Yeah, 7-Eleven, Walmart's.

Walmart's open.

Yeah, I went to a Denny's once on Thanksgiving late, and it was packed.

packed like packed every single seat there was a wait to get in went in there and i waited about

15 minutes finally got the waitress she brought our drinks out within another 20 minutes and she

still hadn't come out with our food order we just left we're like fuck this we didn't pay for the

drinks like fuck that shit yeah i didn't want to expect in that big of a crowd all right so we're

gonna do we're gonna call uh denny's in a moment here uh we were trying to call the grain place

but it got shut off lonesome uh lonesome losers confirming away hollywood vanya has sent in a

number a phone card that is so we can use so we're good to go for the night and in the meantime let

me play this prank call it's called fax machine uh hollywood says it's good okay you got it got

it good it'll start playing any second now the bastard yes hello how are you doing let's make

an appointment machine for a application and a instrumental vision of the in an interview

and your name is this is ralph little john and i have four years experience and i'll be an asset

to your organization.

What you're going to have to do is...

Fill out an application.

I got my pen right here in my hand.

I got my pen.

Where do I come?

Excuse me.

Why do you keep interrupting me?

Because you keep interrupting me.

I'm sorry.

Please don't write down bad things on my application

because I did that.

What you need to do is get together a resume

and fax it down to our corporate office.

What's the fax machine?

We'll take a look at it

and see if it might be able to help you.

Okay.

But this is an agency.

I will let you know that if we decide that we can help you, there is a charge of $295.

Well, maybe we can negotiate.

We can negotiate.

$295 to get a job.

What are you fucking doing?

Big John Denny is on half-blows speaking.

How may I help you?

Hey, Beth.

How are you doing, big girl?

Very well.

How are you?

Good.

I want you to make an order here for me.

You've got stuff to write things down.

I'm going to make an order here.

I'm on the toilet.

I'm sorry.

Go ahead and let me know when you're ready.

All right.

I feel ready.

You're a smart ass.

You know what's funny is that you're working at Thanksgiving and I'm not.

Oh, oh, oh, so passive-aggressive.

Do you want some GoFood?

Because I know you've been missing Denny's all day.

No, not really.

I'm calling because the only place that's open in this godforsaken town.

And my wife messed up the turkey, and I kicked her out of the house.

Well, good.

I'm glad you put her in her place.

You know what?

Maybe I'm a little upset, but all you women deserve to be working in the kitchen on Thanksgiving.

She's so lazy.

That's quite a statement, really.

What can I get for you?

Have you been cleaning good the place today?

Oh, scrubbing diligently.

Good.

And do you take care of your man also on lunch break?

Well, we don't get lunch breaks as women.

We just work straight through.

No, but you need to have a sexual break to satisfy the men with your hand or your mouth, preferably.

Not your vagina, because your vagina probably smells because you've been working all day on Thanksgiving.

It's sad.

Very nice.

It's sad.

When are you going to move up in the industry where you get today off?

I'm not quite sure.

Maybe next year.

Maybe next year?

Okay.

All right.

Well, I don't know where else to go with this.

Write down my order, please.

Well, what can I get for you?

I would like, let's see here, any turkey of some sort.

What kind of turkey do you have there?

We have a turkey dinner.

Shut up.

Don't be a smartass.

Seriously, what kind of turkey do you have?

I'm not really sure what kind of turkey it is.

They have butter wool?

No, it's something else.

In fact, let me get somebody else to take care of you.

It's better to be a man, not a woman.

Okay, one second, sir.

All right.

Did they serve Masterson's brand turkey?

Maybe she's just gonna leave us on hold forever and not come back to the phone.

Alright, let's keep her in the background and see if she does come back with somebody.

For the rest of this prank call, I mean, no.

I don't know.

You think she's pissed off that she has to work today?

She probably is.

I'd be pissed off.

I'm pissed off I gotta work tomorrow.

That fucking sucks.

It's bullshit.

She's kinda pissed off that she didn't get a break to give her man a BJ.

That's what it was right there.

Why does this phone smell like fucking...

Excuse me.

Hello.

Who's this?

Good. I specifically ordered that lady to put a man on the phone, not a woman.

I'm the manager. Maybe she thought you wanted the manager.

No, I said a man. I don't speak to women on the phone.

Well, I'm sorry. There are no men here.

Well, I think that's your problem. I think you're always supposed to have a man on staff.

Who makes the decisions there at this time?

Actually, we have men on our staff, but the man that I have on staff right now wouldn't understand you.

Why? Why is that? Because he's Hispanic?

No, because he doesn't hear very well.

Well, I can talk to...

I'd rather talk to a man

because, I mean, you can't make decisions.

You know, you don't have a lot of power and stuff.

I'm a manager.

But you're...

But there's no woman and manager, you know?

It's like a man-ager.

Because it's like a paper title you have, basically.

Because we don't...

I mean, they gave you the title.

If you're going to discriminate against women,

then we can't help you anyways

because Denny's does not discriminate

and we don't encourage it in other people.

So you might want to try some other place that doesn't...

Bull crap.

In 1995, you people discriminated against two Secret Service agents who were African-American.

To place a call, press 1 to listen to your recorded call.

Fucking bastards.

I know, they did.

You remember that?

Those two Secret Service agents that were black, they made them wait like two hours for their food?

I remember that.

They had a whole big shitstorm that happened back then.

That was the famous black and brown incident.

What's black and brown we're talking about?

Okay.

Okay, all right, hang on, let's...

Joe Black and Charlie Brown.

All right, let's listen to the rest of that fax machine prank call.

It's just getting hot, and I'm going to put it back a little bit here

for those of you who are just turning in.

We can't help you.

There is a charge of $295.

Well, maybe we can negotiate.

We can negotiate.

Oh, I can negotiate.

I'm an airline pilot.

I can pay that.

What's the fax number, damn it?

It's 888-7...

Okay, and do I hit pound after that?

No, just fax it down to the corporate office.

Okay, you ready for the fax?

I get it.

Are you ready for it?

Pardon me?

Are you ready for the fax?

No, corporate office is in Fort Lauderdale.

Well, I just dialed the number now, so I'm ready to hit send.

Well, you've got faxed it down there.

Did you get it?

It goes to Fort Lauderdale. Why would I get it?

I just faxed it. Do I need to fax it again to Fort Lauderdale?

That's where you just faxed it to, Fort Lauderdale.

Okay, let me redial it.

Okay, and then send.

All right, did it go through?

No, I'm not in Fort Lauderdale.

Can you put me on hold and talk to the Fort Lauderdale fax department?

Unbelievable.

Fax it down there when they get it.

I'll give you a look, woman.

I will give you the check when I come in.

It's not about the money.

What is it about jobs where they want you to...

You know, who the hell would...

Anybody, and not to sound like an asshole,

but if you call in for a job,

you know, interview, get an interview,

and they're telling you,

oh, you got to pay $200 to come in.

Like, fuck you.

What the hell?

Unless you're giving me some kind of...

$295.

Yeah.

You got to be fucking nuts.

$295 to get a...

That's like, you know,

give us a down payment on your...

We want you to pay for your first month of salary or your first week of pay.

We'll just give it back to you and fire you the next week.

That's something.

Carly, the women hate her calls.

Great pranks.

Keep going.

Good shit.

Thanks, John Rica.

Love it.

Good deal.

What are you wearing over there, John Rica?

What's going on?

Nice smile.

All right, lady.

Let's go with some kind of red blouse kind of thing.

Just throwing up stuff.

Too much top.

Yep.

Cool.

Let's continue.

Whoa, look at that cleave.

That's what I'm talking about.

out gotta get out of this itty bitty titty committee over here in my house you know what i mean

all right so we got more numbers here we got the circle k restaurant stores inc all right good deal

liberty markets checking in here as well we had fun with denny's just a moment ago let's call for

that grain i said we go ahead and go against the grain you know what i'm saying look at dtt's

chiming in about the legs also dtt's a big leg fan you know it's the dark meat dark of the berry

the sweet of the juice that's a good idea for that denny's i'm gonna call him back hey what's

going on is this the circle k yeah awesome hey guys you guys got napkins in there uh i made a

big you know when you get the wow wow that's all i gotta say about that i made a big sopping mess

over here we need one of those heavy duty napkin things we got napkins but how many napkins can

you can you break me off some napkins over there from the hot dog tray uh yeah but i'm not gonna

be making any purchase i'm just coming in for napkins and like a cup of ice or something i

I ain't paying you nothing.

I just need a favor, man.

It's Thanksgiving.

You can break it off.

That's all there is to it, kid.

Well, you're going to have to pay for the chocobites.

What about the napkins?

Can I get some napkins and mustard?

Yeah.

You know, are you going to charge me for the mustard, too?

No.

What else can I get on the lift?

What do you mean?

You got water there, right?

Yeah.

You getting the free water?

No.

Come on, man.

I don't know if you can get it out the toilet.

What, are you disgusting or something?

What, you want me to drink out of the toilet now?

No.

What, are you sick, kid?

What's your problem?

I need water.

You're supposed to give...

You ever heard of the Good Samaritan Law?

If a man needs water, you're obligated to give him a bottle of water.

That's all it is.

So I need you to set aside a bag.

I need you to put in, like, a good fistful of those napkins,

some mustard packets, and a gallon of water,

or your cheapest spring water.

You heard me?

Hello?

Yeah, I heard you, but I'm not actually going to do that.

I expect...

Can you just leave it outside the door?

I don't really want to walk inside with those dirty people that are in there.

How many people...

Is there a lot of people there today?

yeah they're probably dirty right they're the dirty looking people they don't have any family

and stuff yeah probably so come on just give me some water and some mustard packets hey hey chief

chief chief chief chief you're bringing me down okay i need you to perk up just a little bit

here so we get some excitement on the phone you understand i've got advertisers bye sir

whatever that guy sounds like sounds like a fucking loser shut up stupid i'll go over there

what he needs

that was a stupid

prank call

thanks everyone

for that

thank you

whoever sent

who sent that

number

DTT

good work

DTT

you bastard

sent in a

bum number

no serious

that was a bad

prank

look at that

man

milkman

I haven't seen

this movie

in a long time

Porky's

we got a

restaurant called

Porky's

open right now

in Arlington

Washington

that's a classic

Porky's man

awesome

Porky's

good movie

let's call back

the Denny's

I hope to share

something

let's call

Denny's back

here folks if you want to call in the toll free line is open it is 1-888-278-8509 1-888-278-8509

that's where you call us DTT wants to call in but he's tired of shit I'm sorry I don't want to tell

you big uh happy Thanksgiving Earth Dog Earth Dog chicken I haven't seen him in a while on Thursday

night this is Maria can I help you Maria hi I just want to apologize if I was rude to you before

I understand you're probably menstruating and I probably just made you upset um so I can make

make an exception maybe talk to you right now um are you the person that talked to me earlier and

uh that i hung up on well because you were menstruating you got upset and you got angry

and you hung up yeah that's me no it wasn't that i got angry i hung up because we don't

because you're because you're menstruating it's okay if you're menstruating it's i mean as long

as you watch she's menstrual

oh god the tracking bear attracting bears over there folks any women listening to show menstruating

temper one in the chat room right now let us know please warn us before we start trying to make

moves hollywood's menstruating all right chuck blitz john rick is menstruating eight times

jesus christ woman get a tampon up in that you got pills for that now you know god damn they

got a pill right now they instead of having a period once a month they have like four periods

a year but they're huge watch out all right so let's continue moving on here we've got

We've got another Circle K here we can hit.

We've got another Denny's also here we can hit as well if we want.

We've got the White Mountain Apache Tribe Casino, I would like to call that.

Milkman, you've got one of your favorite pranks is the casino.

You remember that?

Maybe we'll play that.

Yes, absolutely, man.

Maybe we'll play that right before or right after.

Hollywood, what's up, man?

That'd be awesome, dude.

So you're menstruating tonight, huh?

I am.

That's not natural, man.

That is not natural, my friend.

There is nothing natural about me to begin with.

Of course, Scott.

A man named Hollywood Vagina.

How was your Thanksgiving, man?

I'm like you.

I have to work tomorrow, too.

Yeah, it sucks.

They better let us go early.

They said we're going to call it as we see it tomorrow.

I have to work until midnight.

Oh, man.

Are you doing the Blockbuster thing tomorrow, too?

Yeah.

Oh, it's going to be packed.

There must be hell right there in Blockbuster right now.

As a matter of fact, at least you had today off.

I think you did.

Did you have?

You did?

Yeah.

I went to Blockbuster last Thanksgiving.

there was like

nothing on the shelves

empty

yeah

we're having

Black Friday tomorrow

so we're opening up

at 8am

what do people

do people actually

want to go in there

and buy

what are they going

to buy

videos

oh dude

we started carrying

those TVs this year

flat screen TVs

HD TVs

and systems

and I mean

we got everything

in there now

I mean

we're like a

Sam's Warehouse

in a

McDonald's

sized building

that you know

no offense

I know you work for them

I know you're probably

not too loyal to them

but this is where

companies start

are fucking up

when they did

they can kiss me

I'm telling you

I'm freaking

I'm sick of it

they're losing

they're losing their focus

now they're going

we're going to start

selling TVs and stuff

yeah

it made sense

I remember

we know back in the day

Blockbuster

they started

you know matter of fact

yeah the last time

I did go to Blockbuster

was last Thanksgiving

and they had like

surround sound in there

for sale

I was like

what the fuck

is this Blockbuster

just rent the movies

sell a movie here and there

maybe sell a

maybe sell the game systems

that might make sense

you know

and the accessories

but how are they

going to be selling

I've read a bunch of their emails they're sending out, and they're fixing to go in a

completely different direction, too.

They're going to set it to where for like $9.99, you can buy 25 movies, and you download

them straight to your computer.

Really?

And you can watch them anywhere in your house, or you can download it straight to your TV.

Well, can you burn them legally and stuff?

No, you don't do that.

Bullshit.

You can actually pause it in one room, go to another room, and start watching it where

you paused it.

Or if your kids are watching a movie, you can pause it there and go to, like, your van and pick it up there.

Right.

That's cool.

Yeah, the technology is here, man.

Here's another question for you.

How does Radio Shack stay in business?

I don't know.

They sell batteries.

Is that at all?

Do you think they're just making batteries and adapters?

I really think that's all they do.

Anything that Walmart doesn't have, they'll have as far as electronics.

Yeah, that's true.

Yeah, because I went there.

Actually, I've got a bag right here next to me from Radio Shack.

I had to buy a soldering iron for my class.

And where else am I going to go to buy that shit except for RadioShack?

Buy a soldering iron and some adapters and some solder and all that stuff.

I guess you can't, that's where you can, but I don't know how they can stay in business just with that.

I mean, they have like TVs in there.

I don't know anybody who's ever said, yeah, I went to RadioShack to buy my new TV.

Never heard anybody say that.

I never heard anybody say they went to RadioShack to buy their surround sound system or their computer.

It doesn't make sense to me.

All I go in there is for cables and adapters for the show and stuff like that.

But they're everywhere, too.

It's not like there are only a few of them.

They're like in every, I don't know, they've expanded.

They're everywhere.

Never anybody in there.

I don't understand it.

All right.

I'm looking at these calls here.

What's another good one you said?

We did the fax machine.

We did, oh, the one, the good one was the trash.

Oh, the dead one.

Was the dead's good?

Security Alarm Company by the dead, okay.

Yeah.

Yeah, that was good, because you hear, you know, the dad with his voice as it is, trying to apply for a job.

Yeah, I, uh, I tried to sell the alarm system.

So, basically, alarm system said, uh, alarm, the dad says that he, um, he got in trouble for selling an alarm system to a woman, uh, because, uh, he told her that a child molester moved into the neighborhood.

Yeah.

I guess that's the premise of the call. Interesting, okay.

Yeah.

Alright, so we'll look.

He always does something original.

All right, who do you want to call now?

Keep in mind, it's Slim Pickens.

We've got a lot of numbers, but, you know, nothing too crazy.

We've got Porky's came in.

Liberty Market is here as well.

Again, a girl named Katie answered there.

I don't know if that's a restaurant or what.

We've got another Denny's.

We've got a casino here.

We've got Batman Grain that we tried to call earlier that cut off.

We've got a Chinese restaurant open here.

I know you love those.

Oh, yeah.

And then we've got some individual people here as well.

Maybe we can call a Chinese restaurant

See if we can get some turkey fried rice

Alright, turkey fried rice, that sounds good

Hey, you know what, actually, I mean, that sounds good

As in I would like to try that one day

Interesting, alright, so

This is the Kung Ho Cuisine of China

I mean

They are from China, there's no joke

It's not like, you know, New York style, nothing

It's from China

And they're in Bellevue, Washington

I'll send you the details in case you need them during your prank call

If you're in front of the chat thing, there you go

All right, everybody, hang on.

Chinese restaurant coming up.

Don't go anywhere.

Hey, Mr. Dean.

I've been working for ATD for a number of years.

This is sales rep, right?

And I think I'm going to leave the company, and I want to work for you now.

So is this a good time?

Say that again.

I've been working for ATD for a number of years.

and, like, you know, selling alarms.

Hello, Guna.

Hello, yes, ma'am.

Can I place an order, please, to be picked up?

Hello?

Yes, hello.

Are you there?

Can you hear me?

Yeah.

I want a place and order, please, ma'am.

Good morning, deja vu.

You hear me?

Well, can I hear you?

Okay, open your ears, then, jackass.

Let me hear.

Listen to me.

I want a place and order to pick up.

Good morning.

Your address is Spanish.

No, we don't have it.

We closed it already.

Okay, can I place an order for tomorrow, then?

For tomorrow morning?

Yeah, what size are your boobies, baby?

Oh, sorry, we closed already.

Can you call me tomorrow morning?

Well, I could do that, but what size are your boobies?

And are you menstruating right now?

I don't understand you.

Okay, sorry, bye-bye.

Hey, ma'am!

What a bitch.

I guess she is menstruating.

She's embarrassed about it.

To place a call, press 1.

To listen...

Interesting, interesting, interesting.

Okay, bye-bye.

Yeah, I love those girls. They're nice and polite.

There's a Chinese restaurant here around the corner from my house.

There's a girl there

She's always so nice and polite

She's kind of cute too

She was pregnant once

I was like

Pregnant once?

Yeah

She was pregnant once

So you know she's sexually active

Yeah

You know she menstruates sometimes

Sometimes she does

You never know

You gotta watch out

For that menstruating stuff man

Big surprise

Alright

Okay so the coffee gallery

Just came in as well

Okay

That one's in

Hilo

Hawaii

That's the right way to say it

To Hawaii

Also Blackbeard's

Family Entertainment

I know we've talked to them before

Very cool place

Dial zero

and we can talk to a woman there.

Awesome.

Good deal.

So I could take the next one.

Do you want to call Denny's for any reason?

Would you like to speak to them?

We can do whatever we want.

We can tag team if you want to.

Tag team.

Yeah.

Tag teams are always fun.

That's right.

All right.

I'll send you the details for a new Denny's,

not the one that we called earlier.

DTT says,

Call a store.

They are open.

Yo, Carlito,

call a store.

They are open.

Call a store.

All right.

Guys, we're going to call a store.

I'm kidding with you.

DTT, keep listening, brother.

And hey, Hollywood, thanks, not only thanks for the pranks, uh, for the help here, um, thanks for the, um, uh, for the phone card, dude, you're saving us again, because for some reason this spoof card, you know, hates me.

I know, they're jacking around.

I don't know.

Need an alternative here.

Are you playing with your cards in the background again?

Yeah.

Alright, sounds like you're doing lines again, that's always fun.

Yeah, keep doing that.

Wear a flute over there.

Alright, guys, don't go anywhere.

We'll be right back.

Hello, this is Ria, would you like to order?

Oh, yes, well, ma'am, is, uh, Jerry there, please?

Yes, all at peace.

Thank you.

During a recent screening, we noticed an issue.

Oh, for your protection.

No, I think I used the wrong one.

Yeah, I hit the wrong button.

Fucking weedy fucking douchebag.

Whoops.

No, it's my fault, Milkman.

I hit the wrong button.

I've got them both on speed dial, and I hit the wrong one.

Force of habit.

Let me block that.

Let me get some staples here.

They're still douchebags.

Yeah, they're still douchebags.

That's right.

Tape it down.

Let's go put something over it so I don't do that again,

Again, because I did this last time like a dumbass.

So we'll have to apologize to her for calling her an accident or hanging up on accident.

Hey, does anybody out there, can anybody recommend a Bluetooth headset?

I purchased one recently, but I would like to upgrade.

Anybody ever try those stereo Bluetooth headsets that, you know, the ones that are actual, you know.

Booyah says Jabo.

Oh, man, I don't want one, too.

Dude, I got this, I got this endurance-proof one, this waterproof one, man, from Plantronics.

Right.

And it's, like, covered with rubber and shit.

And this thing really is nice.

Okay.

You can't even tell I'm talking on one.

Okay, well, I can.

Yeah, it's waterproof, too.

Waterproof Bluetooth.

That's good in case you fall into a river and you're going to drown unless your Bluetooth is safe.

Or you get into some hot and rainy water.

Well, if it's raining or worse yet, if you sweat.

Sweating on it.

Hey, could you make a phone call underwater with a Bluetooth headset?

Think about it.

Yeah, it could come in handy, guys.

Manacana says, I got the Bluetooth in my car and it sucks.

You know, I was going to get this when I bought my new car, got my 2008, 2009 Civic.

I had the option of getting the upgraded model with the Bluetooth in it.

I kind of wanted to do it.

It would have been really cool because I think you could actually give it commands like to change the station and all this and that.

Right from the Bluetooth headset would have been cool.

But it's, you know, I don't know.

I just, it takes up a lot of energy, like a lot of juice.

It kills the battery when you're using those Bluetooth headsets, man.

It's just such a waste.

I've got, I don't have time for that.

All right.

Let's try to call Denny's back.

I promise I will use the right pin this time, man.

Cool.

All right.

Hang on, dude.

Hang on, everybody else.

Don't go anywhere, kids.

Hang on.

Let's play the rest of the dead call while we're doing that.

Since this comes and stuff, I think I'm going to leave the company.

All right.

Hold on one second.

You need to speak to this other person.

Tell him.

Yeah.

Hello?

Hello.

Am I talking to the same person?

No.

This is Mr. Dean.

Um, you're discussing your voice.

No.

What can I help you with?

Yeah, um, I've been working for ADT for a number of years, selling their alarm systems, and I'm taking it, yeah, and, um...

Hey, we're calling Denny's and Grants Pass, this is Jerry, will this be a good order?

No, Jerry, this is Margaret, I'm sorry that I hung up earlier, but I was putting in a, uh, a tampon and my phone fell in the toilet.

Um, I was told to give you a call, though, and ask for your Grand Slam.

Do you have a Grand Slam?

This is Margaret.

And why did you accidentally hang up?

Um, I didn't. It was an accident.

What I was doing was attempting to put a tampon in while on the phone at the same time on the toilet.

Hold on one second, Kay.

And the phone fell.

Hello.

I don't think he's buying it.

Oh, no.

Thank you for holding me to this, Leah.

Leah, I'm sorry.

I was talking to Jerry, but apparently he's not used to talking to someone that's menstruating.

Tell him if he doesn't get back on the phone, I'm going to come down there,

and I'm probably going to rip his freaking eyes out.

Okay, I will tell him.

Directly, I'm menstruating, all right?

You know what that's like, don't you?

Tell Jerry to get his ass back on the phone right now.

Okay, hold on, please.

I'm going to go run and get him for you.

He said he wanted to buy you some more tampons, actually.

I don't need any more tampons. I need a Grand Slam.

Go!

Jerry, can I help you?

About time, sir.

Do you not understand what a menstruating woman can do to you?

I need a Grand...

What are you laughing at?

I need a Grand Slam to go.

You need a Grand Slam to go?

Yes.

Yeah, and may I have your name and number, please?

My name is Margaret.

Uh-huh.

And I'll be there in about 30 minutes.

Can I go ahead and give you my card number?

What's that?

Can I go ahead and pay for it with my credit card?

Ah, okay. You'll have to use your credit card when you get here.

Okay. Well, please have that ready for me.

I'm sorry I got upset.

Can I get your phone number, please?

Yes, sir.

What's your phone number?

407-782-

What's that?

It's 407-

407?

Yes, 407.

407.

Yes, I'm from out of town. This is my cell number.

Who is this?

This is Margaret.

Margaret?

I don't understand what you think. This is so funny.

Excuse me?

Oh, don't know why you think this is so funny.

My number is 407-459-4534.

I'm going to call you back just to verify this is the right number, okay?

That's fine.

Okay, thank you.

Bye-bye.

Jackass.

Shit, how do we verify it now?

I'm going to call back.

Yeah, he's going to get a busy signal.

He's going to go through the Madhouse voicemail.

He's going to be like, you've reached the offices of Jack Valente.

That's right.

Or Jack Masterson.

Oh, damn it.

Oh, well, that was fun.

That was cool.

Uh, what else we got here?

Let me see what I got here.

Look at my G-Talk.

Oh.

Look at your G-Talk.

Oh, I'm looking right now.

Something good.

Just confirmed.

All right, so we got John Provost, who was a kid who played, who was a lassie.

Oh, that's interesting.

Call next.

He's in California.

Yeah, the homo guy.

He's a gay?

I didn't think he was a gay.

Is he really?

Is he?

All right, so Nunu.

Yeah, you got to hear him talk.

You'll hear him.

He's a big fairy.

Uh, okay.

Nunu says accuse him of molesting dogs.

That's a good idea.

All right, cool.

Let me give him a call

See if he'll talk to me

John Provost

And feel free to jump in

Whenever you want

In the background

We'll make a scene out of this

As we're good at doing here on this show

Just a moment

Let's do that

What's going on Provost

How you doing man

Hello sir

Mr. Provost

Sorry

What number are you calling

I'm calling the number

I think it's 6842

Provost

I'm sorry

You've got the wrong number

No this is Provost

I command you to

to acknowledge who you are.

I recognize your humble voice.

I recognize your voice, sir.

To place a call, press 1.

He's been pranked by KDK for like 30 minutes

with very unfunny prank calls,

and he's probably just, you know.

He probably has a code word.

I don't know if you watch the Terminator TV show,

but they've got a code.

Every time you call,

you have to hit a code on the phone

for them to accept your call.

I'm going to call him back

and see if I can figure the code out.

Yeah.

I'll spoof the number or something else.

All right, we'll do that.

Hang on, let's try to call him back.

We're calling, uh, we're calling Timmy from Lassie.

The old, this is the old black and white version of Lassie Milkman?

Looks like it, yeah.

I'm looking at his website right now.

Really?

Okay, cool.

Yeah, I believe it is.

All right, let's try him again.

There you go.

No panic, everybody.

Do some dog shows and shit.

Caller ID says one.

I think I'll pick up.

It was.

I see where, I see right where the next up in January.

Yeah, where?

Gonna be at the Golden Gate Killin' Dog Club.

Uh-huh.

He's a dog.

I'm going to be somebody, maybe somebody named Tim Johns.

That's with the Golden Gate Kennel Club.

Yeah, okay, cool, cool.

And just tell me when I...

Was that him just hitting buttons on the phone?

I don't think he wants to talk to us.

We'll try him again.

Let's see if we can force him to talk.

Well, probably because we only saw one.

Yeah, that's probably what...

Golden Gate, hang on, hang on.

Let me see what the...

Hey, look up the number for the Golden Gate Kennel Club.

Yeah, let's just go there.

Yeah, is there a number for the Golden Gate Kennel Club, Milkman's asking?

Maybe there is one.

Let's try Golden Gate.

That's San Francisco.

that makes sense

of course he's going there

San Francisco treat

San Francisco

the cow place

I saw where he's going to be at

yeah

you got the phone number

I'm going to want

yep

cow palace

let me

copy paste

cool we'll try them again

John Provost

alright guys

hang on

don't go anywhere

listen we're going to

play out this prank

the rest of it

and we'll be right back

with another attempt

at Mr. John Provost

if I could find that

there we go

actually we're going to be

ending the show

in like a half hour

I do have to work tomorrow

so

So, you know, short show today because of the Thanksgiving holiday.

Sorry, I made it as fast as I could, but it's been fun.

I got, like, kind of fired for trying something new.

And I didn't want to.

I got, well, I told someone that, you know,

No, because some child molester moved on the same block as an old woman,

and I was trying to sell her an alarm system,

and I said, will this alarm system keep the...

Well, look, I'll give you the address, and you come down and fill out an application.

You ready?

Yeah.

That guy's just an asshole.

I don't know what he's doing.

Let's try him back.

Oh, man.

We'll try him back in a little bit.

Maybe he'll answer later.

It's not that I'll call you anymore.

It's just too late for him, probably.

Yeah, he's just busy with the dog right now, too.

He's up with his boys.

Yeah, with his boys.

I'm having turkey.

Turkey sandwiches.

All right.

So, let me throw out a big list of numbers here.

You tell me what's good.

Some of them we've called.

Some of them we have not.

My mouse is not wanting to scroll.

I'm thinking that casino.

We should really call a casino here

It's been a while

Casinos are always fun

Absolutely

What about

Do you have the one with

Who is the guy

Is it John

John

Ding dong ding dong

We're always asking to see

The security tape

Oh

That guy's name

Oh what was that

Yeah the black guy answered

What

The guy wearing a suit

The guy wearing a suit right

Who was that

Yeah yeah yeah

Oh the poker room

What was it called

Yeah the poker room

Poker room

Ow

Ow ow ow

He's like poker room

Ow

Alright let me see

I gotta get somebody in a suit

Yeah

Yeah, oh, let me get someone in a suit.

Oh, Lord and Baby Jesus.

He's just laughing.

All right, let me go back to the Lonesome Logs.

I like to call them here.

I'm sure I can find them in a hot minute.

That was in the Hard Rock, right?

The Hard Rock Casino in Las Vegas, the poker room?

Yep.

All right, it's pulling up.

It takes a long time to load Lonesome Losers Log.

That's kind of fun to say.

Long time to load Lonesome Losers Log.

Kind of like saying Sally sells seashells by the seashore.

All right, I'm typing in poker room.

There we go.

Planet Hollywood.

That's where it was.

The Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino in Vegas.

The Poker Room.

Okay, there we go.

Let's see if we can get either of them to call.

I don't remember the guy's name, though, from that last time.

D-Man says there's no audio.

No audio?

The hell you say?

What time is it?

Did we hit the...

No, it wasn't the usual refart.

That's idiot.

What the fuck?

No audio where?

On Syndicate.

Everyone else let me know.

No audio, no audio, no audio.

I'm working on it.

I am restarting the Syndicate chat room.

Don't panic, kids.

All right, let me work on a Hollywood note going in where we're going to call a casino, okay?

I'll be here.

All right, thanks.

Hollywood's the man.

Thank you, Hollywood.

I'm going to try to restart the now live thing here, see if we can get audio back.

Any second now, we'll be back in.

Let me know if you hear me now, motherfucker.

Let me know.

Tell me you hear now.

Please, now.

Can hear now?

If not, then I don't know what happened.

Audio back?

Seriously?

Seriously? Are you lying to me, sir?

You're not Lizar, but you don't like lies.

All right, good. We got confirmations. We got ones.

Good deal.

Yay, I did it.

Okay, let's play the rest of the Dead's Prank, and we're going to call the casino, the poker room.

23.

Okay.

23, 42.

Yeah.

Yeah, but, you know, the lady, the kid, the grand, you know, the lady has a grandkid.

Now, don't worry about that. Don't worry about that.

Just come in for an interview, all right?

I know, the child molester could come in and rape him, you know?

Just come in for an interview, 2342.

Okay, yeah, thanks.

All right, I'll see you then, bye.

Why didn't you drag it out for him today?

Why didn't you drag it out?

Like, that was nice.

That was funny, though.

Oh, my God.

How may I help you?

Yes, sir, is Larry working tonight?

No, Larry's on leave right now.

Is he okay?

He's on medical leave.

Oh, my gosh, what happened?

Is he alright?

As far as I know it's a diabetes problem, but I hear that he's recovering nicely.

He didn't tell me.

I was supposed to talk to him tonight about the security tape.

You're talking about Larry Stevens, right?

Right.

Exactly.

Okay, yeah.

He's the night manager, right?

Yeah, he's been on medical leave.

Okay, can we pray for him right here, right now?

Can we just pray for him right now?

Are you into that at all?

Yeah, we could do that for him.

I think he's recovering nicely though.

Wonderful.

Well, let's pray right now, okay?

You go ahead and start off.

All right, I got to go.

No, no, no, no.

Hey, hey.

To place a call.

Oh, my God.

I'm calling back.

The guy could die.

He doesn't understand.

Maybe all he needs is a touch of Jesus.

Yeah, you never know that.

God.

The guy could die.

He's got complications with diabetes.

Now I feel bad.

That's going to be me.

I hope he didn't do it, just throw his phone in the trash.

Yeah.

That's it.

I worry about myself sometimes with the diabetes, man.

I don't take as good care as I should.

Had cookies this week

And I don't know

Yeah yeah yeah

How are your car tricks

Coming along

Are you learning

Any car tricks there man

Tons

Tons and tons

Did you get a book

I got a whole show

On things I'm starting doing

Awesome dude

Car trick show

That is the whole illusion show

The illusion show

Hollywood Vanya experience

Is what you should call it

Yeah

Alright

I'm going to try to call

The Apache Tribe

Casino

You want to stay on

It still got you here

For a little bit

Yeah yeah yeah

We got about 20

We got about 20 minutes left

Yeah I'll start this one out

And you can jump in

There you go.

All right, cool.

We're going to try to insult here some Native Americans,

although I'm pretty sure they don't really work there.

They just kind of, you know, run the thing.

Kind of cash the checks, basically, as it were.

All right, White Mountain Apache Tribe.

Hey, Marco, sleep good tonight.

All right, I'm trying to find that old prank here.

It was called Poker Room, right?

Let's see if I can find it.

No, you said the C-H word, I think, or S-H word.

The S-H word, is that what I called it?

I think it was S-H or C-H, I can't remember.

Because he was saying shift, and you were saying, no, no, you said something.

Oh, yeah.

He was like, yeah, yeah.

I'm like, no, that is not what I said.

Shift to an F with an F.

Yeah, you were saying the F word to me.

Yeah.

And he starts spelling it, like S-H-I, and I interrupt him.

S-H-I-T, yes, I know how to spell the word.

It means excrement.

Yeah.

C-C is excrement.

Go on.

The word.

I'm trying to, I know I have it here somewhere.

So we titled, goddammit.

God, dammit.

We titled it the, uh...

Carlito calls the hotel, the guy gets upset when he hears the F word,

and then Evil already starts coughing in the background when Carlito...

No, that's a different one.

Uh, let's see here.

Maybe it's called the C-H word, I think is what we called it.

No, C-H word was a different one.

Yeah.

That was a different one.

Let's see if I...

Maybe if I just do Casino.

Let's try that.

I'm gonna look for Casino.

Let me play some background music here.

While everyone's bored out of their mind.

In any second, that'll come up with the Casino thing.

And I do want to play that, uh, that trash thing.

the uh

the trash call

oh that was hilarious

oh those pictures

are gone that you sent

are they really

they're down

yeah

I was going to

actually take each

one of those pictures

and make an animated

gif out of it

oh man really

they're gone dude

damn

damn it damn it

yeah they were up

yesterday so I was

playing with it

yeah I can't find

you didn't save them

by any chance did you

I saved a few of them

but not a lot of them

yeah not like

I didn't get a chance

to do

yeah I was thinking

we could have made

a video like a

still frame video

you know like

where it just went

you know

Yeah.

Oh, well.

Well, whatever.

Can't win them all.

We should try to...

They're probably closed today, but...

Okay.

All right.

Let's call the Apache tribe here, folks.

Don't go anywhere.

We'll probably be the last prank of the night.

Feeling.

Utah.

Who wants to call in?

Oh, cool.

Thing is, I'm getting ready to call out.

I'm getting ready to end the show right now, actually.

Reklu calls in.

You check out.

Yeah.

Sorry, Reklu.

I'll let him call in.

Maybe we'll let him do something real quick.

A little something, something.

Catch up.

Let's see what happened to him in L.A.

Yeah.

For good time.

Hello, Plankton.

stop yelling at me please

may I speak with the pit boss please

to place a call

that's a good question

stop yelling

I'll talk to you later

thanks for everything man

you're the bro

see ya man

I switched him up

I said you're the bro instead of you're the man

and thanks for everything man instead of bro

seriously though Hollywood man thanks

the phone card

checking in with the phone card as I said before

uh and he he cuts up all our pranks is such a it's such a big help for me it would take me

forever to do that on my own that would be impossible he's awesome dude yeah he is good man

and is a good pranker too i'm tired that's why i'm like yawning here so i'm saying i gotta

check out this is reckless calling in yep he's ringing you right now hey what's up what's up

giggity giggity how you doing man yeah doing pretty well awesome how was la bro fucking phenomenal

dude it was just like it was off the fucking chain everything that happened that needed to

happen happen and might maybe be going back it's like somebody's gonna give me a job offer here

and i got work offered there so i'm not sure what i'm gonna do i'd say go with the la thing man

yeah it's so much fun but the thing is dude i'm about to get like i mean this is it's too early

to say but we did a project and we fucking just hit a home run with this shit and it was the

guy that gave us like 15 grand for two songs so what's going to happen is basically if it goes

down basically i'm asking for a salary like 60 g's okay so if that happens i'm not going to la

but i'm going to take a ton of trips there okay okay and just do like club shows and shit right

cool so you won't move out there we're just kind of you know take trips make some money

yeah i mean but honestly dude if it doesn't go down if i don't get the fucking salary dude i'm

moving oh yeah dude that'd be an awesome place to move to i don't know just well i mean milkman

lives out there he could tell you about some of those yeah i mean it's like and honestly like i

mean i got like i wouldn't move out there unless i had like connects and jobs and shit right but

i do dude like i mean mostly like i mean there's one dj broad that fucking loves me up and down i

mean not up and down that sounds horrible she's a real good girl she's got a fiance it's not like

that but loves me through and through or what's a good word to say love you just think some badass

ass, and wants me to be her, like, visual guy, doing, like, lights and video and shit,

because I made a bunch of montages for her, and she fucking loved it, when she came through

the club, so, basically, that was, and then the, you ever heard of Mastercraft?

Uh, no, can't say they have.

Mastercraft's, like, it's electro duo producers or whatever, like, I hooked up with the visual

guys from there, and they took some of my footage that I filmed, and, like, some eye

candy, and they fucking took it around tour.

Cool.

So they, like, decided to set, and just fucking got blazed with them guys.

Awesome, dude.

So you're going to be doing, like, lighting and stuff like that?

Yeah, it's weird.

Like, I was at this club, you know.

That's why I was so busy.

I was working, like, 80 hours a fucking week.

Fuck.

I'm not even exaggerating.

Like, I literally was.

Like, no days off, like, 12 hours a day at least.

Right.

So, yeah, it was, like, fucking...

I started doing lights and fucking just doing shit.

I was, like, collaborating with DJs, and they fucking loved it, and doing, like, VJ and, like, video.

Oh, cool.

And then, yeah, I just got so many connections off of that shit.

Awesome, dude, yeah.

Yeah, well, yeah.

So, yeah, that's what's going down.

I'm just finishing up this music project.

I'll be gone, like, first of the year somewhere.

Cool, man.

So it'll either be I'm staying here,

maybe moving to Cleveland or wherever they're going to base the,

because they're building a new studio just for us.

Just for us.

Oh, that's cool.

Hell, yeah, man.

Well, congrats.

That's awesome, dude.

Well, thanks, man.

It's been a fucking lot of hard work.

Yeah, you deserve it.

You've been working hard on that kind of shit for a while now, so.

Fuck, yeah, dude.

It's a lot of fun.

The whole thing, when you went to New York

To work with Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown.

That was a whole bunch of bullshit.

Fuck those cocksuckers.

I mean, I had so many things like that where I just put everything into it

and it was a fucking sham.

Like, it was just total bullshit.

Right.

Like, it was just, I'm not even going to front and say,

oh, yeah, I worked with these people or something.

No, it's like, that's what was supposed to happen,

but then it was all fucking bullshit.

Right, never worked out.

It was just a bunch of fucking lies.

There was a ton of shit like that, and it's just like, whatever.

Those people are a whole mess anyway.

Anyway, Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown.

I mean, yeah, they're fucked anyway, dude.

I mean, they're fucked.

Yeah, they're not even relevant anymore.

She used to be relevant.

She used to be a diva, now she's nothing.

Yeah, well, it was.

She got all cracked out and fucking, like, because it's all about guilt.

When somebody does that much, you know, she was all, what happened was she was in church,

and, like, her fucking mother turned against her dad because her dad was managing,

and they sued him or some shit, and they wouldn't pay him, and there was lawsuits,

and she didn't even go to her fucking dad's funeral.

Oh, fuck.

So that's where a lot of that comes through, you know what I'm saying?

Because the guilt, she's, like, trying to fucking crack herself out.

I don't know if you heard what happened, dude, but she was, like, fucking herself with dildos and shit and fucking just lost her teeth.

Yeah.

She, like, stayed in a bathroom and kept smoking crack and fucking herself with dildos all day.

I mean, that sounds like a fucking bad joke, like a...

But that's fucking true.

I mean, they had to order...

They had fucking four pairs of her fucking teeth.

Oh, God.

Because she kept on losing them and shit.

They had a fucking FedEx

Oh my god

What a mess

Some shit

It was just like

Wow

Yeah

That's some serious guilt man

Yeah

That's craziness

Yeah I heard her interview

With her once

And she's lost her voice

She can't even talk anymore

Like she's

Isn't that insane dude

Yeah

She used to be such a good singer

And she can't even talk anymore

Her voice is like

She's out of breath constantly

It's

Wow

Hopefully she can either

Get that back you know

Or something

But man

That's like fucked

And then

You know

That show fucking

I mean, that show was the worst fucking PR move I've ever seen.

It's like, why the fuck, if you're going to be a fucking crackhead and ruin lives,

it's like, why the hell would you, like, put that on TV?

She had a reality show?

Yeah, it was a fucking reality show. I mean, they weren't doing crack on there, but it

was like, you could see they were so fucking out of control. Right, yeah. Like, they were

just, I mean, their family was all fucked up, and they were just so, like, I used to

think, you know, when she was doing all the bodyguard and all that shit, it's like, I

kind of had this thing like she was some fucking princess or some shit, you know what

I mean? Yeah, she was. Like, she was all, my God, just fucking beautiful, and, like,

just so like the opposite of fucking ghetto and you know the preacher's wife and all that

shit and it's just like god damn where'd that shit come from man then all of a sudden she's

like you know hooks up with bobby brown who's like you know pissing in the back of cop cars

in orlando here and stuff like that yeah and arty's wearing a banana hammock on the camera

you're not watching this so you don't want to watch it there's a this kid arty he's out there

being very nasty right now on the camera what show on syndicate on syndicate there's a there's

a dude named hardy he's wearing a weird ass fucking shit yeah they're doing some weird

stuff they're good people but this guy already look at him he's got he's he's an overweight kid

and he's wearing he's like half he's naked he's naked on cam let me see this shit let me see this

fucking bullshit he's he's 10 plus only yeah he's a little click on i don't agree no no agree and

then look at you first of all yeah i know i want you no i know that but i want to i want you to

that's why I broke it

Jesus Christ

who we got

I got fucking

look at Cam number one

I use your ass

let's see here

you got some broad on there

yeah look at the broad

is that a real broad

let me see here

that's a real broad

that's yeah

that's alright

giving the horns and shit

what's up bro

that's John Riegel

she's got nice legs

John Riegel

can't believe you got

some hot lips

I thought you had

a bunch of like us

ugly

my mom

look at that right there

alright so I'm starting

to like the syndicate now

I think

holy shit

what is this motherfucker

fucker.

Let me block him.

Yeah, that's what I'm telling you.

How do you block people on this?

Look, he's showing his ass.

Yeah, Artie, I actually had this kid in my house once.

Artie, get up and show your thong again or something.

No, no, no, no, no.

Don't start that.

I've got the broad on here.

I'm not fucking here.

I'm just going to minimize the screen here.

Reckley wants to see this.

Okay.

Now all I see is the broad.

I see you and the small.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

So, let's see.

All right, there we go.

So, it's just the broad and you.

All right, good.

That's how it should be.

You're smaller, so I'm, like, focused in on the broad.

That's good.

There you go.

She blew your kiss off.

I love syndicate.

I'll tell you what, I need to go in there more often.

You should.

And look at broads.

There you go.

I'll tell you what.

Jesus.

You want to do some pranks, man?

Yeah, let's do a couple pranks.

You know what I'm saying?

I'll tell you what.

That broad showed me a nice little leg and stuff.

You know, it's ready to, you know, I wasn't going to.

But now I'm just like, God, I'm inspired.

Yeah.

Now that she's a true loser.

Hold up.

All right.

Hold on a second.

I got to know this is real.

Let's see here.

All right.

Now, listener, what is her name?

Let me pull over.

John Erica.

Joey.

I think her real name was Erica.

Erica.

It's Erica.

John Erica.

Oh, does that mean she has some dude named John?

Yeah, but they're swingers.

They're into the whole thing.

Oh, really?

Okay.

Well, here.

Okay.

If you're real, if you're really watching this, you're not some fucking loop on some

goddamn, like, one of those chats, I want you to hold up three fingers on your left

hand.

There you go.

Jesus Christ.

Time to make some pranks.

Alright, good deal, here we go

Love the syndicate, I tell you what, I'm going to send him a fucking donation

There you go, donate the syndicate

Buy his shirt while he don't show

Alright, good, let's do that

I think your man gave you the finger too

You better watch out, Rick

Oh, is he? Is he in another cam?

Uh, no, I think he's just

He'll pop in in a second, it's all good, man

Don't worry about it

Oh, Jesus Christ, oh, Jesus, alright

Alright, fuck, alright, there we go

Alright, now I'm closing the syndicate

He's like, yo, I'm drinking beer

I fucking totally just, I mean, dude, I totally just went fucking limp.

No offense, dude, but Jesus Christ.

All right, closing the syndicate.

No longer on there.

I'll let you know when he's gone or whatever.

Let me know when he leaves the room.

I'll open it back up.

Good deal.

I'm going to go take a shit.

I'm going to kill my fantasy.

I thought it was supposed to be the internet.

Yeah, sorry, man.

Have it our way.

It happens.

All right, so there's not a lot of places that are open today,

but we've got a place called Porky's, just like the movie.

Porky's?

Classic movie we're talking about.

Holy shit, are you fucking serious?

Yeah, the place is called Porky's.

They're in Washington State.

We also got the coffee gallery checking in here,

Blackbeard's Family Entertainment,

and we got Salvage Yard.

Wait, that's an actual junkyard?

Salvage Yard, junkyard, yeah, same thing.

Okay, well, I want to call them.

Here's why, all right?

So I went to, I'm just going to tell you a real brief story.

So anyways, I went to Thanksgiving with my family, right?

And my cousin, I forgot, like,

Like, my cousin and my aunt could tell, like, the most horrible stories.

They told two stories, one about him having a heart attack

and the other about, like, her father finding him, like, passed on in his sleep.

And they tell stories so goddamn funny that, like, it's like it's a horrible thing

and the fucking family's sitting there giggling about it.

Laughing about his heart attack.

Because they just tell it, like, they tell it like this.

They're like, well, I had, they speak, like, kind of like a slower version,

like Richard on the Stern Show.

Right, yeah.

Like, when he does the hit, he's like, I went down to the ER and it started crawling up my arm

and that nurse didn't want to do anything.

She ran an EKG.

It's like, I mean, it's the funniest thing I've ever heard.

Like, it was just like, and it's like this guy's about to die.

Like, you know what I'm saying?

He's almost died over this.

He was like 99%.

Yeah, it's like.

It's like artery clogged and he's telling the story.

like it's some funny thing while he's feeding his face i'm sure like a bunch of nasty you know

i was like god i mean i wanted to stay like i usually like it's weird around family

because it's like i don't i totally can't go into like anything i do in real life

okay i mean everything i do is i mean except for this project music project everything i do is

like the videos everything's degenerate i'm about to be filming a fucking fetish video for this one

One brought it.

Nice.

What kind of fetish?

And she's fucking banging, dude.

Like a beans fetish?

I'm going to have, what?

What kind of fetish?

Like beans?

She does the fucking, like, she's, like, kind of dominatricus, which I don't, I mean, I

could look at her.

I'm not going to fucking bow down to shit.

I can't deal with that domination shit.

No, fuck that.

I'm the man.

I mean, I'll whip a broad in a second, but, you know, I'm not into that.

But then again, beans.

And then she's, she's, like, foot fetish stuff and all that.

And I'm like, dude, I'm fucking down, dude, because she's going to be wearing, I mean,

I've seen her today.

she was dressed out

and she looked fucking gorgeous

so

nice

like yeah

and she's

yeah she was all

her dude was there

so I was like

not trying to

fuck around

but anyway

so that's what

I'm going to try

to attempt to call

my network

okay

we'll try

fuck it

let's do Richie Randall

fuck it

let's do it

yes

Richie Randall

hope that's true

for Thanksgiving

it's all about family

yeah that's right

our good son

Richie Randall

yeah cool

hey Mr.

you guys want a

salvage yard

pardon

hello you guys

want a salvage yard

out here

with cars yeah okay well listen my girlfriend scene took my car out there we i just got a

divorce from my ex and i think my car's out there i think she was going to put it through the

crusher she was talking about what's going on pardon she was going to put it through the crusher

out there okay so i just want to make sure it's not there you know what i mean because she said

she was going out to season going to put it in the crusher you guys got like a magnet and a big

crusher out there or something maybe she's lying but i just want to make sure because no i have a

crusher come in oh jesus christ when when did it come in last oh it's been a while uh look at the

car was it your oh it's uh it was a buick this guy off my mom and she put that goddamn thing

down there i'll tell you what i just want to come down there make sure it's not there you know i

mean because i mean when's the last time the crusher was here maybe you got it in there in

your lot yeah it's been over a year oh jesus christ okay well that's good i mean it's only

only been a couple weeks but how often do you get cars in there well i get cars in there all the

time uh so i mean you can model what's that what you're viewing your model listen i know you got

it listen i mean i know you're just trying to jerk me around so listen let's get no no i'm not

trying to jerk you around i'm trying to listen whether i have it or not i'm just that's fine

but listen i'm gonna come down because i just opened a door for me you got a geek down there

or something where you guys go i'm not opening it tonight you got a off a highway for where

Where are you guys at?

We're off of Highway...

I'm not opening...

Highway...

Okay, that's close enough.

Well, listen, I'll just stop by because I really need that car.

I mean, she's got...

You know, I...

I know my wife's got it down there.

Well, you'll be wasting your time because I won't let you back there tonight.

What's that?

You come down...

Come around tomorrow in the daylight hours after 10 and I'll...

I can't wait, John.

I got to go to my parents because I'm late for Thanksgiving.

So, I'll be right down.

I'll just...

My name is...

Well, I'm not going to let you in the backfield.

What's that?

that? You're going to be wasting your time because I'm not going to be opening the...

Well, this doesn't matter. I'm going to get in. I'm like my guy. No, you're not. Don't

sit here and threaten me on the phone. I'm not threatening. I'm just going to come in

to my car. It's my car. Listen, it's my goddamn car. I'm going to come get it, and nobody's

going to stop me because I'm Richie Randall. Do you know who I am? Who? You ever heard

of Richie Randall? Yeah, I've heard of you. Exactly. So I'm coming down to my car. But

No, it doesn't matter.

I'm just trying to say that I've got connections with the mayor.

I don't give a damn what connections you have.

I know his street supervisor.

I'm trying to be nice to you now, and now you're starting to piss me off.

Well, listen, I don't have time for this.

I need my Buick, and I'm going to my mommy's house, and nobody's going to stop me.

I'm going to be right down there.

And I'm not trying to get violent.

I'm not a violent person.

What was your name again, Richie?

I'm a musician, and I don't get violent.

What was your name again?

Do you have a junkyard dog in there?

here because my name is ricky randall again what was your name randall god damn it randall and i'll

be right down here and we're gonna get my buick and i'll pay you a hundred dollars and that's final

there's nothing gonna happen then we'll have a problem well that's fine we'll have a problem

when i jump the gate or something i mean i gotta better not have no junkyard dog my daddy's a

lawyer well you better open it you better be worried about me well i tell you what i ain't

worried about nothing because you got a can of mace and i'll if you come after me i'll mace you

and i'm gonna run in your gate i'm gonna get my car i'm gonna bust you in the gate because nobody's

stopping me i'm going home i'm going home he's like don't get what he's saying don't get rude

with me yeah he's like he's like he heard it i must be richie must be famous yeah yeah he knows

you too yeah it's like yeah i know i know you yeah all right all right hang on real quick

Quick announcement, we're going to do, we'll do a little more here, we're going to extra

innings, I'm going to have to sign off on, off of Syndicate right now, because Yoko

the Clown is going, you know Yoko the Clown, right, Reclude?

From, uh, from the Clown, yeah, actually, I'll tell you what, Yoko does some fucking

badass pranks.

Dude, yeah, he does, man.

I'll tell you, dude, he did three pranks when they had that caller contest, for, uh, when

he had that caller contest for, like, uh, the new, uh, replace Jackie or whatever.

Right, okay.

He did three calls to fucking Gary the Retard, and that shit was fucking hilarious.

That guy did great voice impressions.

Right, right.

I was real impressed with that guy.

Yeah, Yoko, dude, and his video stuff is great.

So now, G-Wiz, now tell me the truth.

Did it go on or not go on?

What's going on?

No Yoko or yes Yoko?

Keep me in the loop here.

Give me the final word here, G-Wiz.

Go.

Go as in stay or go as in leave?

Just say, give me a one if I stay, give me a two if I don't go,

because you're making no sense there.

Stay.

So you want me to stay?

I'm kidding

Okay, you said ha-ha

I'm just kidding

Yeah, what's the ha-ha mean?

What's stupid?

Alright, ChuckleFat, thanks

ChuckleFat, I really wanted to hear

DJ Butterface instead of Carlito tonight

Maybe ChuckleFat should just tune out

And never listen until Friday

When his boyfriend Butterface is on again

Maybe we should do that, ChuckleFat

So, what happens when

What happens if Sayaka wants to go on?

Will he just bump you off or what?

I don't know

They'll give me the hi sign

They'll tell me

I don't know, maybe

Maybe he just, you know, I don't know.

I don't know.

When Yoko wants to go on, I would like to hear that, actually, to be honest with you.

So we'll, we're going to do some more.

Don't worry about it.

I want to see what he's up to.

That's pretty good.

All right.

In the meantime, let's do some more calls.

I say we call that guy back later in a little bit.

Dude, we've got to call that guy back.

And I'll try to, like, what I'll try to do, I'll try to, like, I don't know why I'm saying this,

but I want to disguise my voice as Richie Randall.

Like, I'll be doing an impression of an impression.

Right.

Yeah, so Richie Randall, this guy's in his voices.

You know when you did that, you did once, you did a prankmaster call once where you were a prankmaster,

but he was imitating a black guy, which was like the funniest shit.

Yeah, it was like prankmaster doing a black guy, and you were doing the whole, oh, man, it was great.

Something like that might be funny.

That could work out.

Which, you know, if you don't remember, like, Richie Randall, the voice, you started out,

because I told you to try to do your prankmaster imitation, you know.

And somehow it ended up being Richie Randall

This whole other thing

Yeah, them were the coked up days

I'll tell you what

Them were the days where I was fucking having interns

And all that shit, dude

Days are hopefully long gone

Yeah, I know

That's pretty fucking funny

I probably did shit

I don't even remember on your show

I'm sure if I go back through the archives

I'm going to be fucking appalled

Take this out

Alright, Milkman's asking for Bruno Vega

You know him

He's got a thing for the guy

Who's asking?

Bruno Vega

Milkman wants to hear

Bruno Vega

He says

I always want to hear

Fucking Bruno Vega

I know

Fucking

Is he messaging me

About

Yeah of course

Of course

Messaging me

About

Bruno Vega

Let's get one

Let's try one

I can get one

Maybe I get some

Fucking

Alright

Alright so

Yeah

So we got

The coffee gallery

They should be open still

They're in Hawaii

We got Porky's

Also that restaurant

Porky's I told you about

That's fucking amazing

Is that like

I wonder if it's based

Off the restaurant

Probably

probably uh what else we got here we got circle k uh we got the we got a grain store called batman

grain like they they have grain there like you know like wheat and shit i guess i don't know

what they do there's something weird like that what uh yeah that's fine it doesn't i'll tell

you what just uh fire away fuck it that one was good dude i'm so tempted to call and just bust

that guy's balls yeah over and over again because that guy got pretty pissed like the first time

right right okay so we'll do one maybe we'll call him back just keep going and calling him

him, dude. And I say, like, when we end out the night, we just fucking just keep calling

that motherfucker. Keep going and fucking with him and shit. Because that guy's going

to, I mean, if he keeps answering, he's going to explode. Right. And I think he's got to

keep answering because of, you know. They're like on standby. I mean, they're on call or

whatever, you know. They have to answer and shit. Yeah. Right. If somebody needs to tell

or something. Dino says, put my number in the room. Which number? The call? The toll

free number? Dino, is that what you want? Let me know. I'll put it up in a second.

Don't worry about it.

My call-in number.

I can do that.

All right.

Recluse, don't go anywhere.

We're going to call Porky's.

All right?

We'll give it a shout one time.

And then after that, we'll call the salvage yard again, all right?

All right.

All right, cool.

Don't go anywhere, man.

And don't go anywhere else.

Rocky Point Village.

Hey, how are you guys doing there?

I heard you have some good dinner specials tonight.

Yeah, but the restaurant's closed.

Well, that's all right.

But they can probably make an exception for me because I'm a diabetic.

I go over to VA Hospital and take their medicines.

So basically, how late is your kitchen open?

It's closed.

I got some money I can give you.

Yeah, no, everything's closed.

How late could you open it for me?

No, it's already closed.

It's shut down.

Okay, cool.

Well, I heard you guys have good pulled pork over there.

Yeah.

What I'd like is I'd like about, we got a little family and we didn't cook no turkey,

so I'd like about five sandwiches you think you can make

and just some of that special barbecue sauce.

And you guys sell alcohol?

Yeah, but the restaurant's closed.

Okay, what about a case of Coronas?

And if you could throw some lines in, we'd give you a couple extra dollars.

You know, we're not trying to get nothing for free or nothing.

Well, not tonight.

We don't sell beer.

And we'll do that.

And also, we got back from a trip from Mexico.

So if you could throw in, we have a bottle of tequila with the worm in it.

Or if not, that's fine.

I mean, some of that Patron, we'll throw some of that in there.

If you have the Patron Black, that'd be great.

No, we don't.

So what about, I know you guys had, a little while back, you guys had a crawfish special.

Nope.

That's great.

So if you can just do, like, fish and chips or something, that'd be fine.

We don't want to put you out, none, but we're willing to pay.

You know, we're a hungry bunch, starving.

No, the kitchen's closed tonight.

Well, listen, what about Meals on Wheels?

Meals on Wheels.

It's like a charity.

If you donate to them, you know, maybe we can make an exception.

If I can talk to your manager or owner.

I'm using callback tomorrow morning.

Well, no, because there's got to be somebody there.

I know there is.

They just don't have plain workers there.

I know they don't because they've got to be some sort of supervisor because everybody go wild.

There ain't no supervisor and they have people to do what they want to, you know.

I mean, there's got to be some chief there because, you know, if you've got a place, you know,

you can't just run it just to anybody.

You know, you've got to have somebody there to help you.

Yeah, well, I'm the chief tonight.

Okay, cool.

Well, that's great.

You can make it happen.

And basically what I'm looking for is we've got some pulled pork sandwiches.

If you can just get a family pack of that.

And I know you guys, it's Thanksgiving, so you might as well just put an extra tab on it.

And we can do that.

Just have it loads of barbecue sauce and some of them Kaiser buns.

What buns do you guys usually put on them?

I don't know.

Oh, that's great.

Just put whatever you feel is right on there.

You know, we don't have no turkey.

We're not traditionalists, but in case of coronas, and we'll get that.

That would be great.

What's your name again?

Deanna.

All right, Deanna.

We'll be down about, it would take you about half an hour.

We'll give you half an hour, and we'll be right down.

And we can have it to go, so we don't want to put you out none,

but we need some of them pulled pork sandwiches.

Okay, bud.

Hey, listen.

Listen, I know you're getting uppity with me a little bit,

But we just, you know, want something to eat.

I think that's fair, don't you?

Oh, yeah.

My brother's the sheriff.

Really?

Yeah, so, I mean, you know, you mess around too much, you don't get us something to eat.

I mean, we might pull your liquor license.

How about them apples?

You won't be able to sell no liquor anymore, and then people won't get drunk.

They won't eat your sandwiches no more.

You lose customers.

It's all good.

That's what happens with them sheriffs.

I'll tell you what, they have power.

You think it's, uh, you got somebody to run to, like, congressman or something, but I ain't, no.

I'll tell you what, the sheriff don't like it.

All right.

Then, you know, what else you gonna do about it?

Not a damn thing.

Sweet.

All right, so we'll be down in half an hour.

Okay, bud.

Be at the top of the pulled pork sandwiches and, uh, you gonna do that British hip stuff?

She probably hung up.

God damn.

I like the fact that you kept interrupting her like, coo, all right.

Alright, well, like, yeah, we got four forks there, it's just cool, alright, well, hey,

I don't know, man, that was a bonk-ass call, it's, uh, not bad, not bad at all, just, uh,

I got a mullet, too, I just took an Ambien, uh, let's, uh, let's call the, uh, salvage

yard, alright?

Oh, yeah, you took a fucking Ambien?

Yeah, I gotta get to sleep, man, I'm all jazzed up, I got the, I don't know, just a hell

of a, you got recluse, you got broads, and all that shit, yeah, I know, you got all

sorts of fucking things going on, that's right, I'm pantsless, too, like, you can't

I can't see it on camera, but I got no pants on.

We're going to call him.

I'm kidding.

I got pants on.

I got jeans on.

There you go.

There we go.

Shagnassi's Enterprise.

Hi.

Want to give him a call back?

All right, let's do it.

All right, let's do it here.

Shut his guy's voice.

Yeah, see if he falls for it.

He'll be like, motherfucker.

All right, let's see what goes on.

Let me help you.

Listen, I just want to know if you guys got a...

Hello?

Can you hear me?

Yeah.

Have you guys got a Buick in there?

My brother, my brother Richie's got a Buick in there,

and I just want to know if I can come pick it up.

Well, nobody's coming here tonight.

I've already told him that.

I've been really nice, and I'm really...

Listen, listen.

Don't like to threaten me.

It's my brother, Richie.

Well, if he comes up here, he's going to jail.

No.

It doesn't matter.

He can keep his ass away from here,

because if he comes up here tonight, he's going to jail.

Our dad's a lawyer.

It doesn't matter.

Nobody's going to jail.

We've got enough money to pay anybody off.

Well, I don't want him up here threatening me and my dog.

No, I'm not trying to...

We just want to get to the point.

No, no, he lives.

It's okay.

Listen, it's okay.

We're just going to come and get the Buick, and nobody's trying to beat us.

No, you're not coming up here tonight.

It's okay.

I'm telling you, just like I told him, my business hours are from 10 to 12.

Let us in the door.

It's okay.

Just open the gate.

You call up before you come.

No, nobody says anything.

We're just going to open the gate for you.

It's okay.

No.

Everybody be happy.

All right.

Open the gate.

All right.

This is the only way I'll do it.

Are you listening to me?

Okay, yeah.

You call the sheriff's office, and you come up here with a deputy.

They will go into the backfield.

But if you show up without a deputy, somebody's going to jail.

Do you understand me?

Okay, yeah.

We're showing up.

I don't like being threatened.

I don't like my dog being threatened.

My buddy, I'll tell you what.

What about a city cop?

Well, there ain't no city cop that'll come out here because of the sheriff's department.

You'll have to call and make a request.

Actually, my sister is a state trooper, so maybe she can come out.

But listen, it's okay.

Just open the gate for us, okay?

I want a uniformed officer in a patrol car.

It's going to be okay.

If there's not, then I'm going to have my gun in my hand.

Do I make myself clear?

And I will not take any crap.

And I will not be threatened.

I got Kevlar.

I used to live in England.

I don't give a damn what you got, mister.

I don't know what the problem is between your brother and his girlfriend,

friend but it's not something that's worth all this bullshit you follow me listen you come up

here you come up here in a peaceful mood with an officer and i'll go in there tonight and i'm

going out of my way for this it's going to happen but if you don't show up you're going to get

you're going to get turned around or go to jail holy shit no we're not going to jail we got we

got a we got a connection so listen here's let me just spell it out for you buddy let me spell out

for you. What's going to happen is my X and this, all right, I blew my car, but it doesn't

matter. What's going to happen is you're coming down and we're going to get my Buick. I'm

telling you, I'm telling you, that's exactly what's going to happen. I mean, and nobody's

going to get hurt. Okay. I tell you, I got a, I got a Mace and I got a Kevlar. Nobody's

shooting me. All right. And I got a, I got a Doberman pinch or two or something. And

you don't need to see it. It'll be in the car. I'm not bringing it out. You want to

Without driveway, without an officer with you, and I'm going to start shooting immediately.

Do I make myself clear and I don't give a fuck if I kill you or not?

Do you understand me?

What do you want to be angry for?

I don't understand, man.

Want me to be angry?

Jesus Christ, your brother threatened me and now you're threatening me and I'm not supposed to get angry?

Listen, buddy.

You don't come to my house and do this kind of shit.

You want to be civilized?

Fine.

If you don't want to be civilized and you want to come up here and threaten me, I'm going to start shooting.

Holy shit.

I survived here, and now I'm goddammit, I could survive this.

Holy shit.

So if you want to have it out, you just come up here and threaten me.

That's all it's going to take.

I'm a fast runner.

Every vehicle I have on this property, I have paperwork for.

Well, jeez, you say to Christ, you don't have to be an asshole.

No, you're the one that's being the asshole threatening me with mace and a fucking dog and shooting me and shit.

Just like your fucking brother.

I suggest you wait until daylight.

Because you don't want to come up here now.

Now, because I don't give a damn.

No matter how, I don't give a fuck if you bring the whole damn state patrol office

and every officer in the goddamn state up here with you.

You're not going to be allowed to be on this property.

Period.

Well, Jesus Christ.

Did I make myself clear now?

You don't have to be an asshole.

I'm going to come.

You know what?

I think it's bullshit.

I totally think you're bluffing.

I'm just going to go get my Buick, okay?

And nobody's going to do anything.

Try it, because I've already got the sheriff's department on their way up here.

Bullshit.

What'd you do?

Would you instant message them on the internet?

That's bullshit.

Would you get him on the CB?

No, I'd call him.

That's bullshit.

No, I'm not going to.

When did you call him?

If you want to come up this driveway, if you want to come up this driveway, be my guest.

When's your fucking call?

I mean, what'd you call him?

What'd you send him, a telegram?

What'd you sell him, a telegram?

Stop.

Richie Randolph's about to get his Buick.

Stop.

Come soon.

Stop.

I mean, what are you going to do, buddy?

Can you wrestle?

I'm good talking.

State camping.

You're not welcome on this property.

You're not welcome on this property, nor is your brother.

I don't give a shit.

I don't want you to come on this property.

You're going to jail.

And if you come up here tonight, it's going to make it even.

I'll tell you what.

You think I'm leaving without my Buick?

You're crazy, man.

Francine's not doing it to me.

I know you're all in this.

You think I have your Buick?

You wish.

Jesus Christ.

It's St. Seven.

Come up here like a man.

It's St. Seven, asshole.

It's St. Seven.

Don't come up here like an asshole.

Don't come up here like an asshole that's threatening me.

If I have your vehicle, it'll still goddamn well be here tomorrow.

It ain't going anywhere.

Yeah, well, you know what I'm going to do?

I'm going to come as a pizza delivery guy.

That's who I'm going to come as.

You're not going to know who it is.

And then I'm going to run and get my Buick.

No, you're not.

You're goddamn right.

If I have that vehicle back there, it is there tonight.

It will not go anywhere tonight.

I'll guarantee you that.

Shit.

I'm going to get a car here.

You want to come up here with an officer?

Fine.

Fine, but I want that officer's vehicle in front and have them call me before they come up my driveway.

Because if a vehicle comes up my driveway and I don't recognize it as an officer, I'm going to consider it you.

And whoever's in that vehicle is going to have a gun pointed at them.

And I'll be mean in business.

Did I make myself clear?

You just pissed off, and that's bullshit.

You know goddamn well.

I got every right to be pissed off.

You know goddamn well you're not going to shoot anybody.

Well, that's it, Paul.

I called you a bluff.

I got you.

I know you're not going to shoot anybody.

I'm just going to drive right up that fucking shit.

I'm going to open the gate.

I've never even been here.

I don't give a shit.

I'm just going to go, and I'm going to get my car.

I mean, you can't take it from me legally.

I got the tiger.

It's not even in the glove box.

I got you.

You think you can take it from me?

I don't care.

You don't come up here without a deputy.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Right, I'll come there with a...

And you're going to have a gun pointed at you.

If you make any moves that I think is threatening, I will shoot.

Oh, boy, yeah.

Oh, now it's...

First it's coming to the driveway.

Now it's to make a threatening move.

What's next, huh?

You're just being serious.

Hey, just getting out of your goddamn car is going to be enough for me.

That's right.

Just getting out of your car is going to be enough for me.

That's right.

You think you're a tough guy?

Tell you what, why don't you fight like a man?

You have your gun on you.

I mean, seriously, you want to wrestle?

You want to wrestle, buddy?

No, so I'll take you out for that.

I'll just kill you.

I'll just as soon kill you and get it over with.

That's bullshit.

I don't want to be fighting on the goddamn ground with people anymore.

So I'll just kill you.

There ain't going to be no fist fight.

I guarantee you that.

you want to come up my driveway and threaten me?

You know, Kong Fu, I guarantee you don't.

Neither do I.

It's bullshit.

You know what?

Guns equal pussy, other than the army or hunting.

I tell you that.

That's what it means.

Your brother's name is Cliff Randall?

Guns is pussy.

I tell you what.

What's your name?

What's your name, guys?

Bobby Easton.

My name is Grissy Randall.

Cliff Randall?

God damn it, my name is Grissy Randall, and I'm tired of this shit.

I'm getting my car.

I'm just going to drive right up your fucking driveway.

way and if you don't like it you call the cops and they're gonna be right by my side and we're

gonna get your goddamn car we're going home we're going to see mommy and we're fucking 10 hours late

and it's bullshit nobody's getting in my way i tell you what i got a kevlar i got mace i got

place a call press one to listen to oh my god that is the prank of the year so far this is a

great fucking dude

that's a great

Richie Randall

the whole time

he thought you

were still the

brother

cause he was

actually

what a dumb

fuck

he's like

what's your

brother's name

Richie Randall

what a dumb

fuck

all I did was

hey

like

he's like

your brother

oh man

and Dino

and the others

I was thinking

it'd be pretty bad

if we were to

order a pizza

for his house

I was thinking

about that

like I told him

I was thinking

I'm gonna come

up as a pizza delivery guy.

Can you imagine if we did that and the guy gets

shot? No, we can't do that. I feel fucking

horrible. Yeah, no, don't.

I feel so horrible, but

he's out in the country, so I'm thinking...

Oh my God. I can

just see it now. Some pizza

guy just goes up to his house. We'll be in the

news. Holy shit.

We can get some, you know, Dino, we can get

some press for Syndicate. I'll take the hit. I'll take

one for the team. Let's do it next. I'll tell you what.

You get it, yeah. No, no. I don't know.

No, no, we can't do that, man.

Man, that's wrong.

That fucker's crazy.

He's fucking crazy.

I'm so goddamn tempted, man.

Oh, God.

Let me see.

Where's he at?

Where's his place?

He's in, uh...

I don't want to say it.

I don't want anybody to take it upon themselves to start ordering.

It's like 1030.

It has to be Domino's.

Yeah.

All right.

Pizza places will be open.

Dude, I don't give a fuck, dude.

Just for the hell of it.

No, don't ever know.

I'm not going to call a pizza place.

Nobody do that, please.

I just want to know if it's possible.

I'm sure it is.

I don't want to know if somebody will deliver out there.

I'm just, like, really curious.

I don't know.

Well, we'd have to find.

I got to end the show anyway.

It's 1.30.

I got to go to work tomorrow, man.

God damn it.

I know.

I'm sorry, man.

It's late.

I got to be at work at 8 tomorrow, so I got, like, five hours of sleep looking ahead right

now by the time I get up.

Oh, man.

Dude, you want a pizza supreme.

I know.

You want to kill a poor pizza guy just trying to make a few bucks on Thanksgiving.

It has to be Domino's.

Let's make a deal, all right?

Let's call a pizza shop, right?

It has to be Domino's.

If the guy's an asshole.

hole, then we'll send him there.

Okay, is that what you want to do?

Oh, my God.

No, I'm just kidding.

No, that'd be funny, though.

Send him to some pissed-off guy's house and get shot.

Guys, if you get out of your car, I don't give a fuck.

I'm going to be shooting.

We'll have to get it from somebody that doesn't have one of those lights on their car.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Just a regular unmarked car, you know?

What do we call that?

Like, pizza shop.

That motherfucker gets out of his car, bang, bang.

I don't even think they could really, unless some cocksucker in this chat room fucking rats us.

Yeah, which probably would.

God, KDK is probably fucking, let him fucking have the facts.

Yeah, exactly.

He'll probably make the call.

He'll probably call the pizza place.

He'll rat in on us.

He probably will make a call.

That bastard.

He'll rat us out.

It doesn't matter.

This is recorded.

Yeah, we got proof, KDK.

If anything happens to any pizza delivery guys where that guy lives in Washington, we'll know who to blame.

That motherfucker's probably sitting beaten off to this right now.

Yeah, probably.

He wishes.

He quit his show man

He's done

He's dead

It's over

Really

Yeah he doesn't do shows anymore

It's over man

What did he wake

Wake the fuck up

He woke up and realized

He was wasting his time

He realized

He realized that fucking

Trannies isn't a career move

Yeah exactly

He didn't get far with that

That's funny

Well dude

I need those fucking

I need those goddamn

Calls out of the dude

That shit's fucking

Yeah

I would play that

For everybody

Oh for sure

Yeah I'm gonna

Actually I'm probably

Gonna listen to the mic

Right now

As soon as I end the show

Before I'm on the bed

my iPod and listen

to it while I'm

sleeping.

While I'm in bed,

I'm going to plug

it in.

You know, I got

one of those

speaker, you know

those alarm clocks

you can plug in

the iPod into?

Yeah, I'm going

to listen to it

for sure.

Yeah, I'll get

them to you

tomorrow.

I'm sure

Hollywood or

myself, we'll

edit it out.

I'll send you

some links

tomorrow on

email.

Look out for

that, alright

man?

Alright, man.

That's a hell

of an ending

to a show, dude.

Hell yeah, dude.

Thanks, man.

Great prank.

Richie Randall

is a legend, man.

Dude, I'll tell you what.

I'm about to go fucking tomorrow.

Check this shit out.

I'm going to come back from a fucking holiday, a little Thanksgiving, you know.

Picked up some fucking hot little bra and some gas station in the middle of nowhere.

It just happened to be from my town.

Okay.

Dude, so, yeah, I'm going to the DJ show tomorrow.

I'm going to give her a little finger or two or something.

There you go.

See what kind of whore she is.

Yeah, give her the shocker, man.

Yeah, all right, man.

But fucking A, dude.

I can't wait, dude.

Alright man

Good luck with that

I hope it works out for you

Yeah we'll see

I probably have a bunch of dudes

Fucking her

Four finger Freddy

Out there

Probably

Yeah four finger

Probably a fucking six finger

Yeah

Six finger

He's the other hand

Oh shit

Six finger Freddy

Oh dude

Six fingers and a thumb

There you go

Alright dude

Thanks for calling in man

Alright later on

Talk to you soon

Be safe man

Alright peace out brother

Everybody that was fun

Jesus Christ

That was the deep prank of the year

I think man

Holy crap

He is the best

I love him

Oh man that was awesome

I haven't

Laughed like that in a while

Oh my god

I'm glad we didn't end the show

I'm glad we got the chance to do a few more pranks man

Because we would have missed out on that all together

Absolutely

Oh dude that's a classic right there

Alright so I want to thank

There are so many soundbites you can use

Out of that one

oh hell yeah

I want to thank

Reklu for calling in

I want to thank

Lonesome Loser

for sending numbers

thanks man

on a hot night

Hollywood dude

yeah

saved us with

the phone card

as well

some good pranks

as well

and Crazy Fucker

thanks for calling in

man

we love you bro

take it easy man

don't

you got me kind of worried

I'm going to have to

call him off air tomorrow

see how he's doing

I usually talk to him

on Fridays

Republican Party

though

you'll get over it

yeah don't worry

you guys will get back

and this is a cycle man

the Republicans

will end up in office again

Yeah, it's all good.

Milkman, do your formal thing quickly, please.

I've got to get out of here.

What's up, man?

All right, man.

Well, I really enjoyed my Thanksgiving here with the Madhouse,

and I hope you all enjoyed it as much as we did.

I'd like to thank all our friends over at Syndicate Radio and Mr. Dino.

Thanks a lot for the hookup.

We love you all.

Stay tuned for Zolark Party Nation tomorrow, Friday also,

and all our friends right here in the mouth.

The numbers hit, man.

God bless you.

The numbers hit, man.

What will we do?

That's right.

The hero for all of us prank fans.

We love you.

Thank you so much.

And I hope you enjoyed your turkey meal.

And especially you, our listeners.

That's right.

You know what?

We do this every week for you.

The most interactive prank show, comedy show right here on the net.

We offer it to you every week free.

That's right.

All you got to do is invite your friends.

Better yet, invite an enemy.

And we'll call them up and say hi to you.

Madhouse style.

But we couldn't do it without you.

You are fearless.

You're neither the

journalism or the

madhouse, the

militia.

Thank you so much

and God bless you

there, Ed Armani

and so, and thank

you for your time.

Thank you.

Thank you, man.

Thanks, Milkman,

and thank you for

being on the show.

Of course, Big

Tuck as well.

Everyone, be sure

to visit him over

at tuckermike.com.

Tuck, are you still

around?

We didn't hear much

from Tuck tonight.

Uh-oh.

Tuck, are you, did

you upload or are

we uploading?

Uh-oh, did he fall

asleep?

Did he miss a good

show?

Tuck's going to have

a Halloween.

Wow, I'm a month

he's going to have a Thanksgiving show

special uploaded here I think tomorrow

so be sure to check that out

that's going to be at tuckermike.com

the Revolutuck podcast

he's going to have a new episode up

I know he told me about that earlier

be sure to catch that

and also thanks to him

remember last week we were talking about

Amos and Andy last week

and I asked him if he had a source for that

he sent me links to Amos and Andy shows

I finally got to hear

and some of that Amos and Andy stuff.

That's cool stuff.

For sure, for sure.

Everyone, be sure to stay tuned

to SyndicateRadio.tv

and stay tuned to 98.6 The Mouth,

the Madhouse stream.

Thank everyone over at the Madhouse site as well.

Unless a loser was in there, of course.

DTT checking in today.

Kokanee.

Oh, shit, Kokanee.

We didn't get to any of your news items.

Fuck, I'm sorry, man.

No worries.

We'll get to those at a later date.

No worries.

Such a good job, man.

Thank you so much for touching me.

You really do, man.

You do make a good night for us.

All right.

MST3 Clay.

Also, what's up, dude?

How's it going, brother?

I saw Aya was around.

What's up?

Mr. C, the porn director in the house.

You're good.

Right on.

And everyone, of course, I don't want to go through everybody in Syndicate.

Y'all know who you are.

I love you guys.

Big what's up to Dino, G-Wiz, and all those other ladies over there.

I don't know if anybody's next on Syndicate, but they will be if they are.

If not, be sure to stay tuned, and something will happen at some time, somewhere, and it will happen.

Something good.

Always going out to Seneca.

Yeah.

Hopefully, Yoko comes on.

I'm a Puerto Rican, dude.

Yo, hopefully, Yoko goes on.

Seriously, though.

Hopefully, Yoko goes on.

I'll definitely tune in to that.

I haven't heard any of his shows.

That'd be awesome.

He's not on here.

Yeah, Yoko's the man.

Cool.

You know, I'm going to ask for that DVD for my birthday, man.

Or for Christmas, that is.

I really would like that.

All right, we're out of here, folks.

We'll catch you here Monday.

Cool.

Monday morning, 10 a.m. Eastern Standard Time, 7 a.m. Pacific.

Get up for it. It'll be fun.

MadHouseLive.com. Thank you, folks.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Deleted.

Gas.

You better have your pencils ready.

MadHouse Radio is live Thursday nights at 10 p.m. Eastern.

Why don't you shut the hell up?

Fuck you! Fuck you fucking penis shits!

Be sure to visit us online at MadHouseLive.com.

Calls (20, 58 min of 2 h 11 min)

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