MadhouseSearch

2009-07-23 Show

23 Jul 2009 · 1 h 46 min · 17,215 words · source

Calls (14, 32 min of 1 h 46 min)
  1. Dr. Love's Exotic Superstore in San Diego live 2.8 min clip ↓
  2. Calling Levy and Rose French restaurant live 6.9 min clip ↓
  3. Zolar prank call request to Nunu live 1.4 min clip ↓
  4. White boy Walmart prank call playback playback 1.6 min clip ↓
  5. Prank call with 'fuck you bitch motherfucker' live 1.7 min clip ↓
  6. Debit card prank call live 1.7 min clip ↓
  7. Parent calls about son's prank call live 1.9 min clip ↓
  8. Grits Bar prank call live 2.4 min clip ↓
  9. Syndicate player chat live 2.1 min clip ↓
  10. ESO gas station international call ivr 1.7 min clip ↓
  11. Caller leaves voicemail voicemail 36 s clip ↓
  12. Mission View chef prank call live 54 s clip ↓
  13. Claims Jumper restaurant follow-up call live 3.4 min clip ↓
  14. Prank call to UK resident Peter Bath live 3.4 min clip ↓

Transcript

Who the fuck is this?
Listening to the Madhouse Radio Podcast.
Who the fuck is this?
Good evening, everybody.
Madhouse Radio is back on the air.
This is Thursday, July the 23rd of 2009.
2009.
You know, I'm privy to work for a great company
which provides internet services in the South,
including the Carolinas.
And boy, howdy, do I love it
when I get a call from a man
who's just a bright douchebag
and says the number four.
places like Tennessee
where you're from. Hey Tug, you know what I really
hate? I really hate people from the south
from like Tennessee who say
instead of saying the four
they say four.
It's like my phone
number is four. I'm like fuck
you. I hate it when you say it like that. You sound like
such a fucking putz. Four.
You sound like fucking mouth
readers when they say that.
My account number is four.
Four. Oh fuck.
I just want to choke my cock off right there at work
But there's people watching
But I tell you
Motherfucker one of these days I'm going to get so angry at work
I work alone on Saturday mornings
And I'll choke my cock off right there at work
And no one's going to see it
I'll be so angry man
I'll grab my cock right there
My cock and balls are like you motherfucker
You motherfucker you
But then I'll remember to put the customer on mute this time
Unlike the one I did
Two weeks ago
Talk bad news man
Man, you remember last week we talked about I thought that I put a customer on hold at work.
And they went, me, me, me, me, me, me.
Oh, yeah.
Well, guess who called back to complain?
What a faux pas.
I want to tell you that there's audio of this, and I've asked my manager to please let me have a copy of it.
Did you actually tape it for a future reference?
He played it for me.
He played the call, and it sounds very funny.
So that's true.
So I told him, all right, I'll tell you what.
All right, it's cool, you know, boss.
I don't want to give his name, but look, if you need to write me up for it, go ahead,
but can I please have a copy of this?
And he's like, no, I can't do that.
I'm like, oh, please.
Please, please, God.
Because it's basically, she's like, and we need to get our service now.
She has this southern Georgia accent, you know.
You know, she's from Georgia.
She worked for Georgia Power.
She worked for, maybe I shouldn't give out the business name.
Shut up about Georgia Power, man.
No, no, no, it's not Power.
It's not Georgia Power, it's Power.
Georgia Power.
Power.
Oh, that's Georgia, right.
Right, so I thought.
It's a little bit different.
The southern accent is very in different regions.
Anything that's east in the east, like Georgia up through the Carolinas and Virginias and stuff,
has a more of a cultured sort of a southern twang.
More of a yeah, the power, and flowers, and yeah.
And sipping the tea on the pole.
Alright, I don't know, am I, you know, Syndicate here, once again, has migrated over to some emergency network by the name of Live Video, now I'm trying, I don't, I can't confirm, the emergency server is at livevideo.com, and it looks like a quite, you know, sexy little life, little sexy little thing, of a website for video, but I'm here and I'm trying, and I don't know if my video is streaming or not,
No one can give me a response.
So if someone can tell me, you know, if someone can tell me.
You know, let me try to type through these people, everybody.
It is Thursday, July the 23rd.
Now, we have a lot of current call requests.
We have a lot of stuff to talk about.
We'll have a lot of show to do.
Looking forward to being here with your folks tonight.
I got a big board over here.
There's a big board.
But, yeah, seriously, wouldn't it be awesome?
Because, literally, if I can just do a reenactment of this call,
this woman has that kind of you know georgia powell is out and i'm like all right whatever
all right i'm sorry ma'am i'm being empathetic they told me i had to do better my empathy at
work and i said all right i will be and i said well i'm sorry ma'am and i kind of laughed because
of the way she was talking your empathy at work well listen and she goes and we need to get it
back on now and i thought i hit mute but i didn't hit the button all the way and i went
and i instantly looked down and the mute button is not lit red and she took about a week to call
back but after they fixed it she did call back and there's so um i don't i'm not gonna lose my
job but i really want that audio wouldn't it be awesome it sounds funny it sounds so funny
Maybe one day
I'm going to work to get a promotion
Just so I can get access to the archives
To get that download
He was playing it on an MP3
That he got by email
I'm like come on man
Can you just copy
Can you just forward me that email
I was like no
I kind of can't
Because it's not for that kind of use
And what if it gets out
And you're saying the company name
And account number
And I'm like okay fine
Because it won't get out
Oh, because we want to be on here.
They're like, no, no, we can't do that.
I want to be on your message boards and all that.
But, dude, it was funny, and I literally, I went to my car and I laughed quite a bit
after I got to hear that played back for me.
So that was my event of the week.
Tuck, you ever do anything like that?
You ever, like, you know, get caught making fun of somebody?
You ever fuck somebody off and they turned around?
I did that to my mom once.
And she threw a shoe at me, and she threw a Bible.
And it's a true story.
I was hit with a Bible once
When I flicked my mom off
And she turned around and she saw me flicking her off
And she picked up this
Little you know
Little Bible
It wasn't a huge Bible
It was a standard
It was bigger than a paperback size
But it was a pretty big Bible
And she hit me on the back and the head with it
Like five times
She beat me with the Bible
Good times
I'm thirsty
At home all the time
but at work yeah quite uh there's there's a few occasions where i get caught okay you know
people and uh right on man we get caught you know when everyone everyone gets fucking caught
i think i just blocked somebody what did i do let me unblock okay now now i'm ignoring some
guy called rock you i don't know what that's about let me unblock him all right i have stopped
ignoring rock you i don't understand if i'm broadcasting in these people's uh chat room
I'm quite concerned about this, Tuck.
Can you go in?
Are you able to go into this live video?
People are saying they can't hear me.
They can't hear you?
Or one person is.
Well, Chris says they can't hear me.
All right, well, maybe they can hear you now.
I think I figured out.
I got the echo machine turned on incorrectly.
Chris, can you hear me now?
Now we hear two of Tuck.
Chris, can you hear me now, Chris?
All right, sorry, but now you're creeping me up.
Let me check what lonesome moves are in everyone else in the chat room.
Everybody, please be sure to go to madhouselife.com as soon as possible.
Subscribe to our podcast and do other stuff there.
You can download free prank calls and listen to them.
You may enjoy yourself there.
So no one heard me up until now.
Up until now, Tuck, you know, look, bro, you've got to do something.
You and Milkman and Coconini need to help me out because I've got plenty to do on this show.
And you people want and want and want and want, and I keep giving, giving, giving to you people.
and at the very least you can confirm
and let me know real quick hey
no one can hear me on like you should be able to say
hey do something there's got to be a way
this system's got to work better on the show
because I think all of you are slacking
and I think it's too much
I was hearing me back in the echo so I don't know why
that kid wasn't hearing me
I don't understand either
because I'm reaching straight through the stream here
so I don't know what his deal is
god damn it
you know you guys need to meet
you guys got to become more alpha
Not alpha, but you've got to become more, you know, not afraid to take the girl by the horns and just ram it in her.
You've got to see.
I'm beta, man.
How long have we been in here?
Yeah, beta.
How long have we been in here?
No one said, hey, Carlito, by the way, you haven't gone in the chat room yet.
You know?
Someone remind me of that.
It would be nice if you did.
Well, Carlito, I mean, I can't hold your hand.
You go in the chat room when you go in the chat room.
I guess you haven't gone in the chat room yet.
Whatever.
Whatever. Thanks for your help, guys.
Anyway, we're going to play something here that I haven't heard this yet.
You can't hold your hand.
Apparently Zolar, now we passed on the convention last week,
and I think Zolar called us following Friday,
which would have made it last Friday, of course.
Zolar from Zolar Vision will be on tomorrow night,
starting at 9 p.m. Eastern Standard Time.
That's his new one.
It's syndicate radio.tv, where I have no idea if I'm broadcasting right now.
I don't know.
He's the recommend show?
Yes, he is.
He does a very good job.
He's got a lot of people watching him on the Justin TV, on the JTV, as all the cool kids call it.
I understand.
He's doing quite well for himself over there.
Congratulations, Zolar.
No, yeah, of course he is, man.
What's up with him moving to Chicago?
Yes, he did.
He is.
He did move to Chicago.
We broke that news here, I believe.
We were exclusive.
You heard it here at Madhouse Radio.
Oh, that's right.
Bob Morton and the News Solvers checked in with that there about two weeks ago.
when we were the first to announce that, the Zolar move.
And how amazing is it, you know, Zolar, who is like Mr. New York himself.
I mean, he's a whatever.
Mr. New York.
Mr. New York.
Mr. New York Zolar.
And he moves to Chicago.
That's like, you know, what's up with that?
That's like, isn't one of them baseball Puerto Ricans?
It's a lot tougher than New York is.
So, I mean, that's me.
Isn't there some baseball redneck or Puerto Rican who said he was going to retire
and then they made this little bit of thing, yeah, homeboy, old man's gonna retire, and
then he came back for, like, the enemy team the year after that, wasn't that Roger Clemens
or something, didn't he, like, dick over the Yankees or, or the, the, the Whozits, the
Braves, fucking baseball, fucking, fucking asshole sport, that's for assholes, I like
baseball, I'm an asshole, go Yankees, I'm an asshole is what it is, shut up, listen
Listen to this.
This is not prank calls from Zolar.
What are you doing to me?
Why are you derailing me?
I don't understand this.
That was not racist prank calls from Zolar.
We're supposed to be able to hear racist prank calls from Zolar himself.
From, I don't know, whatever.
So go to whatever his website is.
Zolar XY Zolar ABC Zolar X 2592.com
I have no idea what his website is right now.
Ask him.
Email him.
ZolarVision.com
ZolarVision.com
ZolarPartyNation.net
That's where he's at.
Numbers coming in from Lonesome Loser.
Of course, you can send in your requests over at MadHouseLife.com.
We've got the Hotel Elliot.
We've got the Anchor Beach Inn.
Crescent Beach Motel.
Gearheart by the Sea.
Golden Knight Motel.
And we have the Crazy Moose Casino in the state of Washington.
washington we also have a french restaurant called la vie and rose
fucking french i should talk to my i should make fun of their french accents french fucks i don't
know why people don't like their french i don't think the french are pussies necessarily but they
just they're kind of stuck up and it's fun to make fun of the french because it's kind of like
an in thing to do for some reason it's they're fun to make fun of because you're just so
our shit don't stink fuck you fuck you fuck you that's how friends you know
choke the hell you know who i hate man and not that i don't hate but you know who i find very
irritating is a moroccan moroccan man and they're mean to the women i've heard of tons of women who
are white who uh get in relationships with these moroccan men they smack them around they know
No, and they're mentally abusive.
They call them, you know, bad words and bad things.
And they do bad things.
Well, no, they're more like, you know, you got to be here.
You know, you're not a woman if you're not here cooking my food at this time.
You know, it's like a lot of girls get hooked up with Saudi Arabians and then really grow into that afterwards.
All right, Tuck, well, remember, your family was a white slave for a while in Brazil.
So, and from someone from the UAE.
And it was hot.
Dr. Love's Exotic Superstores in San Diego.
Let's give them a call, why don't we?
Here we go.
Fuck, first prank call of the night.
Fuck, we're going in.
Where are y'all?
We're going around everywhere every time, every time.
We gotta go.
We gotta go here.
We gotta go there.
There we go.
Now, now, now, do this.
Now, and do that.
Now, this is new.
This, you know, you know, I don't know if you ever saw, I saw a documentary where they
broke down this man this one time because they kept, they put him in a, put him in
in a room a dark room with not a lot of lights and they would tell them hey you need to go and
wash the dishes and then they come back and say you're making too much noise making the washing
dishes don't wash the dishes and then they come back and i said you're supposed to wash the dishes
you know when you take a dog and you run them around and when you tell him to sit down and he
sits down and you get crazy and yell in his face and go and i said no do this instead you know and
you have the dog goes crazy and he starts chasing his tail and that's where we're at here at this
point you have uh you know the way i'm being treated by a lot of you people is you have me
chasing my own tail like i'm like i'm a dog and in the muslim culture i have learned in islam
uh that to treat a man like a dog is to say you know he is worse than nothing more than a human
the dog is a dirty animal you know he is not down with the sharia law the dog is not they they don't
like dogs a lot some of them yeah right so anyway what i'm trying to say is i don't know what i'm
trying i don't know what i'm trying to say i don't know anyway did someone show you the
some of their shoe we're calling doctor's love exotic superstore in san diego thank you you
missed the best prank call in history is recorded and you'll never hear it again
Send it again.
An ass woman.
Dr. Love?
Yes?
Hello?
Hello?
Yes?
What's the big deal, huh?
I go in there, and you folks refuse me service for the last time.
I'm going to tell everyone I know that you people suck dildos is what I'm going to do.
What's your name?
How did we refuse you service?
What's your name, please?
I'm the only one working right now.
I'm in a store full of people.
So if you just want to call to be rude, then I don't mind.
I have to work.
When?
I said let that out
I'm tired of women
Angry mood against women tonight
Fuck women
No really Tuck
You know screw that
Women go to hell
I'm fighting with the missus over here
I told her for the last time
That when I come home
I want the dinner ready on the table
And she didn't do it again man
And I said no
Fuck that
And I took
She was
She was making a meal
She was halfway through making a meal
I threw it in the trash
I took it out
I can't
I can't
I can't
I can't
I can't
I can't
I can't
I can't
I can't
back from my honeymoon we were going to stay at her parents house one night before we drove back
down south down here to florida again you know and we're gonna spend the night and we were saying
it'd be kind of funny if i started like yelling around the house so thena like yeah go make me
some coffee and her dad would probably be like oh my god what the fuck this guy changed after
the honeymoon and i was like yeah but her dad's kind of intimidating we didn't think it'd be a
good idea but it was an idea nonetheless i really want that audio man i'm gonna try to push to get
that the uh audio man gee y'all hard point get in there and count around and just forward it
yeah well at least at least you know there's a sense of humor and effect here you know i'm saying
buddy with work at least i was quite surprised we were lucky oh i have an announcement to make
we're gonna have something interesting to do tonight i got a i got a new google invite so
so I'm going to set it up.
We're going to work together to pick the name, the actual vanity.
We're going to pick something either Madhouse-related or really funny.
I could set it up to, like, you know, 212 Donkey or something like that for free.
So we're going to choose a new phone number for prank call use here in a little bit.
I'll get to walk you guys through the process.
It's pretty cool.
We're calling Levy and Rose.
Let's see if we get a French woman on the line.
This is Clemmie.
Excellent.
What was your name?
My name is Clemmie.
My name?
Unusual.
What is it?
I'll spell it C-L-E-M-E.
Hang on, let me get it.
Are you ready?
All right, go ahead, one at a time.
C-L-E-M-E-M-E-I-E.
All right, I got it.
Creamy.
Right?
Creamy.
Why would you folks refuse me service sets as you have for several times when I go in there?
If I ask for a Coke event and you people are refusing,
using. What kind of French restaurant is this that doesn't have a Le Coq event? Well, sometimes
we don't. I have a gentleman having foie gras this evening. Well, I was in there and I said
I demanded Le Coq event. Chicken and wine. And then the man's like, no, I can't do it.
I can't do it. Well, I'm so sorry. What was that man's name? I don't know who was here
at the time. Who's that jerk man who works there? You know that guy with that hat? With
up a hat. Well, not a hat necessarily, but he's got that hair. You know what I'm talking
about. You're not, describe him, how he looks. He, I don't know, he was maybe 5'8", dark
hair, dark eyes. Because we have Gerardo that works here. I think that's who it was, Gerardo,
yeah. Does he have a mustache? Yeah. That's probably Gerardo. Oh, yeah. He has a mustache.
So why he got mad, he was like, hey, you motherfucker, motherfucker. I was like, hey, hey, hey. Oh,
Oh, he shouldn't have said that.
No, and then, because, well, you don't have chicken.
So then, listen.
I'm sorry.
You explain.
Hey, well, hang on now.
Ma'am, woman, I'm a man.
I'm the man of the house.
Just a moment, please, okay?
What I'm asking you right now is, do you have white wine there?
White wine?
Yes, do you serve white wine?
Yes, we do.
Do you have chicken?
Any chicken?
Yes, we do.
So what does it take to put, you know, chicken, white wine, and some potatoes, and some adobo?
I understand exactly what you're saying.
Uh-huh.
Unfortunately, if the chef says he doesn't have it, even though we have white wine, we do have chicken,
maybe it takes too long for him to prepare that one serving.
I don't know, but I will bring this matter up to our owner.
How does he dare not to be a man and come out and explain this like a man?
And I demanded, I said, hey, I said, Rodrigo, you tell this man to come out, this chef,
And I'm going to have words with him.
And I pointed, I put my finger on the table really loud.
I said, like that.
I said, you clearing him here now.
And he said, no, sir, that this conversation is over.
And he acted like I wasn't existing anymore.
No more water.
I asked for bread.
No more bread.
And when was this, sir?
This was earlier this week.
But I need to have a fire report against you.
So I'm going to put this in a report to Bob Morton and the news solvers.
and they were interested already in the story.
So, I mean, what does it take?
Can you please?
I know.
Do you have any adobo there?
Do you have adobo?
I apologize.
Who is that?
I demand to speak to the chef.
I demand to speak to the chef.
Right now, at the moment, he doesn't answer the phone.
No.
He's cooking on the line.
Oh, no.
Sometimes if he's cooking on the line, he doesn't come out.
Who is the chef?
I need to speak to the chef, please.
This is, no.
I want to speak to the chef.
The chef is the man who has an explanation for me.
If he's a man, you put the chef on the phone, and he's a man.
If not, he's not a man.
You know what I'll have you do, sir?
I will have him call you.
May I have your name and number, and I can have him call you?
This is Valente.
Valente.
One moment, please.
One moment.
Excellent.
Here we go.
Fucking chef asshole.
My God, what old music is this?
This is French old music.
All right, everybody.
Okay, Valente.
Hello.
No, no.
No, no, wait a minute now.
You said you were going to get the chef.
Why am I talking to you again?
Oh, no, sir.
What I was saying is I was going to get your name and number,
and at the convenience I'll have the chef call you because, like I said, he will not come out.
Like even if a purveyor would call at this time of the evening, he will not take the call.
The convenience, really, at the convenience.
I'm at his disposal.
The great chef, the great chef cannot be named.
Great chef.
If you would like to give me your number, sir, I can have it.
Nah, you have 407-459-4534.
407-459-4534.
And what did you say your first name was again?
Valente.
This is Valente.
That's all you need, Valente.
You tell this man, I want you to write this down.
Are you writing this down?
Yes.
If you are a man, you call back, please.
And then the equal sign and then the right bracket.
Okay, sir.
I will see to it that he gets your message.
Okay, can you please read back the message to me?
I am going to have to put you on hold because I have customers to seat right now.
No, come on now.
You're giving me the runaround.
You're putting in the trash file.
No, I'm not.
Let me put you on hold one moment.
Oh, good.
The chef is going to get on board with this.
What do you think, Ryan?
Should we terminate the call?
Yeah, it's gone.
and nowhere.
Ryan terminates the call, please.
God, that's creepy music.
Fuck, creepy white people music.
White people like that music.
Uh, this is for Nunu.
What?
Please tell Carlos
to send Nover
a corrupt councilwoman
to Mississippi
and quitting a video
of her acting like an idiot.
Okay, so the video he's...
Well, can you please,
Nunu,
would you please send me
these prank calls
that Zolar did?
Somewhere where I can hear
these prank calls
that great Zolar did.
Last Friday,
I want to hear them.
All right?
Even if I don't play them
I won't play him on the show, but I want to hear him in my off time.
Would you send me a link after the show?
I'm not going to play his prank calls on the show.
He's probably going to debut with that.
Hey, motherfucker, I'm Zola.
Zola.
No, listen to him.
That's it to me.
I don't want it.
Zola.
That's his show, Zola.
Zola.
Send it to Carlos.
Send it to me.
Zola, give us a call if you're listening out there tonight.
I don't want it.
Join us.
I was able to catch the end of a solar show last Friday, and somebody phoned in impersonating Nuna.
A Nuna impersonator.
Interesting.
That sounds fun.
I thought it was Nunu at the bucket.
I wish Nunu would call in one day or send us a sound file of him talking on the phone, asshole.
Nunu says he sent the number for a correct politician from Mississippi.
M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I.
That's right.
I know that one, and I wasn't even reading it.
Chris, the white boy.
remember white boy that always talks to us he says hey carlito can you play my walmart call
just so i can see what other people think of it no it was bad i just want to see what others think
of it he has a walmart call he it's bad you want to hear his walmart it's very bad this is white
boy he's a very he's a very pro madhouse and we do it it's cool but uh and i told him i said look
man i think you got some i think you have some you know maybe you might have a future in prank
calls, but at first you got to practice a little bit, white boy. That's what I told
him. I was being honest with the guy, you know? This is true. Let me see if I can find
one of these prank calls that he sent me. It's not too bad, dude. Yeah, I don't know.
It was kind of weak sauce. I don't want to put you in a spot. I'm just saying you might
get embarrassed. When did you send it?
This is something he recorded on his own.
Yeah, he did it on his own. It's his own prank call. It's not somebody else's. He tried.
Let's hear it then. We'll judge and we'll rip it to shreds.
All right, yeah, sure. Hang on. I'm pulling it up. I'm trying to find it. Here we go.
How long are they?
From what I remember, it was short.
All right, let's listen.
Yeah, the other day, I bought some condoms, and I was just wondering if I could return them.
Probably not, but I want to get you customer service.
Okay, thanks.
What's the lyrics?
Hello?
Good job.
I think it's better.
Customer service.
Um, hi, um, the other day...
Customer service.
The other day, I bought some condoms and I...
Hello? Can you hear me?
Hello?
Yeah, I can.
Okay, um, the other day, I bought some...
Can you hear me?
Yeah, I can hear you.
Okay, um, the other day, um, I bought some condoms
and I was wondering if I would be able to return them.
Have they been opened?
Uh, no.
Do you have your receipt?
Yeah.
If you have your receipt and they have not been opened, bring them in,
and it will be up to whatever manager is up here at this time to make the call.
Okay, but say stuff was happening and liquid that wasn't watered,
a little bit of it got on it?
Then we cannot return it.
Okay, thanks.
Okay.
Okay, bye.
I can see that.
I told you, man, I didn't want to embarrass you.
Chuck, what are your thoughts on that?
I saw a lot of room for improvement there.
First of all, a lot of long pauses.
He had a lot of opens that he didn't take.
Exactly, yes.
He dropped the ball.
He got a little tense a few times,
and maybe that's just the son of a young prank caller,
their white boy.
They continued to work on it.
One thing he could have played with
was right when the whole back and forth of,
hello, can you hear me?
Exactly, yes.
But that was bad, too, because...
They're in the middle.
He could have ran with that and just kind of fucked with her
and go, hello, can you hear me?
And just played a little thing on that.
Well, Tuck, you know, I think the bottom line is that I don't consider it a prank call at all.
It was just a conversation.
I mean, come on.
I'm not trying to sound like a stuttered asshole.
It was just a conversation.
It was a conversation.
It was a silly conversation is all it was, at best.
And you even cracked up at the end.
And sometimes it's funny to crack up.
It might add to the humor of an otherwise maybe not as funny prank call sometimes if you crack up.
But it wasn't funny at the beginning.
It was a funny.
Yeah, it wasn't.
There was no reason to crack up.
You called and you said, yeah, I got condoms on return.
turn, I'm like, okay, sure, go ahead, if you've got a receipt, yeah, I know, it's funny, what was
that, coconut, your thoughts, when she said, are they open, are they used, oh, that could have been
a beautiful thing right there, yeah, like, you know, kind of, yeah, sort of, you know, and then
the liquid, why not just, you know, explain further, you had an open, you got to save it right
there, you got to reel it back in, you should say, it's just eggs, some, I don't know, some egg whites,
something silly like that
you gotta kind of steer it into clear waters
you gotta be careful
it's a fine
it's not that easy to do
I'm not saying I'm the best at it
but I do okay for myself
if he wants to call in you can coach him
yeah that'd be fun
that'd be great radio I bet
Zolar's in the house I see
boy howdy
alright Zolar hey Zolar
Zolar vision tomorrow night
tomorrow night 9pm eastern
JoeSanatine only on
CityCritRadio.tv.
Crazy here tonight.
He said to you,
Nunu has sent you
this video
several times.
Oh my God.
Fucking stop the shits.
Let me go to the Nunu machine.
Hang on.
Let's take the Nunu monitor.
Hang on, everybody.
Several videos.
Nunu has sent you
this video several times.
Nunu has sent you
this video several times.
All right.
So, fucking Christ.
Nunu doesn't have it
in all caps.
This is the Zolar call.
All right, let's see.
all right here we go i'm not gonna play the zolark card no i don't want to take this thunder
but everyone be sure to check it's on zolars youtube just go over to zolars youtube and
subscribe to it if you haven't yet i think it is zolar vision all right youtube yeah the real
zolar on youtube youtube.com slash the real zolar and uh right there there it is just do it and then
subscribe to mine also which is youtube.com forward slash madhouse radio and uh fucking
I keep it updated.
I keep my head updated, bitch.
All right, so this is audio of this.
We're going to prank call this woman here.
Apparently, she's some kind of something, okay, in the media.
Not the media, but she's a politician, a local politician, I believe, and she got mad.
There's silence.
I understand.
She was discussing the issue of checks.
She's crawling under the table.
Like the Congress or something.
and this is actual audio of nancy pelosi earlier this afternoon apparently i don't know what the
fuck is this some crazy some black politician that works obviously some local government
some larger of a local government or maybe a small i don't know i don't know her name is
alderman and she acted a fool i don't understand where she was from someone tell me hang on let
me look nunu will tell me myla brooks her mother and her went to some meeting at a casino resort
and spent $12,000 of taxpayers' money
where they didn't have any approval to do so
and they have to pay it all back.
At the local council meeting,
Item 6 on the agenda was discussing
that they should repay the money,
so her amazing plan was to go there
and try to keep them on Item 1
for as long as possible.
Okay, so she's trying to filibuster for herself.
You can't do that, bitch.
If one of their items is to investigate you,
you can't go there and fucking try to filibuster
the first item out of six,
the sixth one being the one that gets your ass in trouble
what the fuck's that about
you can't do that, what are you fucking stupid
of course they fucking went in there and arrested your ass
shut the fuck up, you can't go in there and fill a bus
there's some fucking local shit
stupid ass
so we got her information here, she's in Mississippi
alright, let's listen to the rest of this
now I'm kind of interested, now that I know the story
now that I know there's not some black woman
having a seizure in church
what city town is it?
Leland, Mississippi
now this is freaking me out dude
Dude, I can't hear shit like that.
It's just weird.
I don't know, man.
It's like the girl in the 6th grade
that would disturb our class
like every other day.
Am I not in the fucking syndicate?
I mean, what the fuck?
A black girl who would disturb our class
and just have rants and raves like this.
Gentlemen, why is there some white boy
with a big ass nose
that looks like a Mormon in a polo shirt
on Syndicate Radio and said to me,
what the fuck is going on?
What the fucking fuck is fucking going on
in this fucking place?
What the fucking fuck?
He's doing what?
There's some white guy with a big-ass nose on Syndicate Radio right now instead of me.
How the fuck does that happen?
Who's the horse nose?
I'm going to talk to him on the phone.
What's his phone number?
Somebody give me that fucker's phone number.
You have a horse nose and I'm aware of it.
Who's the horse nose guy on Syndicate?
I swear to fucking God, I want to talk to him right now.
Someone give me his phone number.
I don't know.
What the fuck is going on here?
Give me a second.
I'm going to get that guy's phone number.
I'm going to talk to him.
Motherfucker.
Fucking ass.
Maybe it's you.
Do you have a horse nose?
You know, asshole.
Asshole, that's not fucking funny, all right?
You know what?
You're going to time out now, motherfucker.
How do you like that?
Stupid ass.
Want to be smart?
White guy with a big nose.
You think that doesn't fucking hurt?
You think I don't have feelings?
You too, Coke.
I mean, both of you.
Sit this one out.
No, this won't get me.
What's going on?
Carlito, you're live on the air.
What'd you figure out, too?
Why is there some white guy with a big horse nose on the air?
Who is that?
Is that you?
Who is that?
No, that's Dole off your...
What's his phone?
Can we talk to him on the air?
Yeah, I guess he's back.
back well no no no it's cool i just thought it'd be funny to talk to him in there i don't i can't
figure out dude this this new one you know i went in you know you didn't i didn't find out until
late until late you know i found out late and i fucked it up fucked it up again man i mean
fucked it up again all right so you tell me now hang on now i gotta go to live stream.com
god damn it no we're doing this live on the air move live stream.com right okay all right hang
on we're gonna do this together here man because we need to be on live stream no live video.com
What the fuck?
Oh, man.
God, this is...
Oh, it's another one.
Livevideo.com?
No wonder.
No wonder.
I don't know what livestream.com is.
Dude, you were on the air for a minute.
I don't know what happened.
I don't know...
Honestly, I don't know what happened.
Hang on.
Let's try again.
Livevideo.com.
And what happened exactly?
Can you explain to the listening audience what happened over at Syndicate Radio?
What happened with Stick M again, these people?
Um, well, we, uh...
Well, I'm now live, obviously, and now live became now dead.
He said, well, he went over to Justin TV.
Justin was pretty laggy.
you have to use
platforms
you have to use
FME really
and then we came
over to
Back to Thickum
and the Dirty Twig
show if your audience
is on Monday nights
the Geisha guns
that kind of
awesome
that sounds kind of
fun
Monday nights
at 9?
Monday nights at 10
H2 Flow was on
from 8 to 10
I gotta definitely
check that out
alright
well let me
well apparently
we got a band
there
looks like a pretty
nice platform
I like it
looks interesting
I've never seen it
before
it kind of
snuck up on me
I'm pretty good
with these
He's keeping up on the different, you know, video blogging sites.
This is quite a surprise and quite a good find, Double D.
Awesome.
Well, we did use it once.
It was our backup channel.
It was the Syndicate 2 channel.
We just never really migrated over to it.
Ah, I see.
All right.
So my note to self is to improve my consistency and stability on Syndicate Radio.
I think I owe that to you folks.
And I just want to let you know live on here in front of all the listeners
that we appreciate SyndicateRadio.tv,
and I will make it my effort to personally improve within the next 30 days.
Yeah, well, you do an awesome job, so I wouldn't really worry about that.
Scott, I'm married, so you've had other things going.
Yeah, pussy, man.
Pussy, pussy, every way, dude.
Yeah, it's starting to stretch it out.
That's where it's at, man.
That's where it's at.
When you get past the three fingers, you know what I'm talking about.
When you start getting that fourth one in there, she's ready to make a baby.
That's how I learned.
That's what they taught us in the Catholic Church.
All right, man?
All right, kid, you take care of yourself.
Thanks for being on the air.
Thanks for helping old Carlito there.
All right, buddy?
All right, have a good one, man.
All right, Ben.
Man, dole laugh.
I want to talk to Dolaf.
I just want to ask him, you know, what he thinks.
What he thinks about Madhouse Radio and the situation here,
and the situation with Syndicate Radio, you know.
I think it would be interesting to interview Dolaf, because he looked kind of cool.
I want to know what he's all about.
I think we should, you know, we've got a lot of listeners to the show,
listen on the podcast, and they don't necessarily know about Syndicate Radio,
except for when we give out their site and, you know,
plug the other shows that come on, et cetera, et cetera.
So I think it's respectful if Dolaf should come in and we should give him a plug.
Fuck it, man.
And if he was able to hold it down while our shit was all fucked up again,
then perhaps he should join us and say hi.
Don't laugh.
The number is 407-459-4534.
Again, anybody for the matter, if you want to call in and be live on the air
and do a prank call with us or just talk to us, 407-459-4534.
Have assurances that the toll-free line is supposed to be back by this weekend.
Again, they told me that last week, and it still wasn't working.
So we'll see about that.
Hopefully it works.
All right, so we're done playing the audio, the creepy audio,
of the black woman who got really upset um her name is alderman i guess that's her last name
alderman that's what the deal is i guess she got really upset because she was embezzling money from
the government from the local government she got in trouble she got caught um let's go ahead and
play that uh not when i play the audio we're gonna actually you know do a prank call of this lady
here just give me just a moment we'll be right back for the next prank call tonight thank you
very much i hate this song this fucking song is ass those stupid milkmen they'll put this all
Oh, my asshole.
He's not even here, is he?
Because I fired him.
That's why.
Don't you guys know that Milkman's fired?
He's not going to be on the show anymore, and I'm not going to talk about it anymore.
So that's all you know.
Now that you know it, it's Milkman.
He's off Madhouse Radio officially because he's disrespectful.
And I told him for the last time, don't you do that in the air anymore, and he did it.
And he's out.
He's out of here on his ass.
And that's the last thing I'm going to talk about.
Fuck that song right up his ass.
I'm going to take out every single Milkman song that he ever made me put on.
As a matter of fact, as soon as we're done with the show, that's the first thing I'm going to do.
I'm going to take out every song that he won't make and just put on his rotation.
Duckman's out on his ass, everybody.
And maybe one day I'll be able to tell you the fucking truth about why it happened.
But let's just keep things as they are right now, nice and cool.
Stupid woman doesn't answer.
Of course not, she's afraid.
Scared.
Scared of a real man.
Mike Tyson.
I saw a documentary about Mike Tyson.
What were we playing this fucking song again, asshole?
I saw this documentary about Mike Tyson.
I forgot the name of it.
I think it was, like, Tyson or Mike or Iron or Iron Mike or Mike Irons, Mike Irons, Tysons, something like that.
It was something about Tysons, you know.
Hello.
Awesome.
White boy.
God.
To accept press one.
White boy.
How you doing there, white boy?
Pretty good.
What do you think about, you know, we're not trying to be fucking assholes, white boy, but that wasn't a prank call.
It was a prank conversation, all right?
I mean, I'm not going to.
I know.
Don't call here looking for, I'm going to.
No, it's not like that.
We're men here.
No, I listened to it again on the show, and, yeah, there are so many things I did wrong.
I, yeah, I know.
All right, well, it don't feel bad.
How was your other one?
I heard parts of the other one, and I got to say, what was that about?
Who did you call?
You didn't call Curry in a hurry.
You called somebody else.
That's not Curry in a hurry.
No, that's some, I searched on Google Maps and searched Curry in a hurry, because, yeah.
Curry in a hurry is in the, they're in the UK.
They're in London, I think.
I think it's London.
Yeah, but I searched it in Salt Lake City.
In Salt Lake City?
You found the wrong one.
You gave him shit, man.
That's funny.
But he was angry, man.
I didn't, all I said was, I made a call before that that I didn't record,
and all I said was, can I make an order for delivery?
I accidentally said that instead, and he hung up.
And then I called back, and he got totally pissed off.
Yeah.
Dude, those are animals.
Dude, those people are animals, and they get upset like animals, all right?
Don't you forget that.
I was trying to aim to kind of act kind of retarded there,
so I think they're kind of prejudiced against retarded people.
All right.
All right, boy.
All right.
That's good.
That's good.
That's good.
All right, cool.
So when are you going to have the next prank call for us?
Do you want to do one now?
I'm going to put you on the spot.
Are you doing it?
I think I'll wait until I'm better.
All right.
Well, I want you to practice.
My parents don't condone prank phone calls, so I can't let them.
What are you using to talk anyway?
Are you using Skype on your computer?
Is that what you're doing?
Yeah, I'm using Skype.
Get yourself a burner cell phone, man, all right?
It's like maybe you can get yourself a cell phone for like $20 at the 7-Eleven,
and you'd be totally anonymous, and you'd call it your burner phone,
and that's what you use just for prank calls.
Do you understand?
No, I'm just using Google Voice.
Google Voice, yeah, that's fine, whatever.
Get yourself a burner phone, you understand?
Wait, how do you record calls on Google Voice if you're using just that?
Like a button?
Well, because when I'm broadcasting out, I have a program that whatever audio I'm saying right now,
it's making an mp3 of it, and it's archiving everything as it goes out.
It's a shoutcast thing.
One of the benefits of broadcasting on a shoutcast stream,
which is what we use on the main website at madhouselive.com,
it lets me archive it in an mp3 file, and then that's what I cut that up.
I cut the prank calls up out of that.
Also, you can use spoof cards, spoofcard.com.
There are spoof cards.
They're recording for you.
But it's shitty quality.
It's shitty quality.
I don't recommend it.
Okay, well, I've got a ghost and I just want to ask you.
On Shoutcast, what's the exact name for the station?
What's it called?
Because there are a whole bunch of people broadcasting not live shows.
I don't know.
You just go to shoutcast.com and you search Madhouse Radio.
It'll come up for the first one.
I think we should be the only one that comes up.
I don't know
All you do is put it in Madhouse Radio
We'll be there, you'll see us
Maybe the station was down
The station had some downtime over the week
Will it be down next week
Because I'm going to be gone
And that's the only way I'll be able to listen to the show
I'll do my best
I need you to make sure it's up
Alright, well I'll do my best
Now you're going to call over here making orders
Stupid
You ruined it, alright
All right, so we're coming over making orders.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Fuck you, sir.
I don't care.
I don't care who you think you are.
You can call me and tell me, oh, I've got to do this, I've got to do that.
I don't got to do nothing.
You've got to go fuck yourself.
You've got to go to shit.
Go take a shit.
I'm glad you're leaving.
I'm glad you're not going to be around listening to the show if you're going to be.
You know, I'm going to take the station down just for you.
That's what I'm going to do.
Matter of fact, tonight, talk, remind me.
I'm going to take the station down just for that guy on Monday morning at midnight, all right?
I'm going to take it down.
I'm not kidding you.
Hey, Wootawickedstyle, whatever, Wootang, or Woota.
I hope he's a Wootang fan, because Wootang is good.
Yeah, send me the cell phone number.
Go to manhouselive.com, send it to me, or just send me a message here in the chat.
This is a free call.
Finally, fuck.
I'm so stupid.
You know, I got to stop, do something about consumption.
I was listening to some stuff that Crazy Fucker sent me, and, you know, motherfucker makes sense.
Some of that stuff that Crazy Fucker says, guys, I'm telling you makes sense, and I'm scared.
Fuck you.
I hate that sound.
I have to agree with that about crazy fucker.
Yeah, great.
We lost syndicating a motherfucking meet.
A lot of the stuff he says doesn't make sense.
Yeah, people are still wondering how come you're not logged into chat.
I'm not logged into the chat room?
I am.
Not yet.
No, sir.
I'm in there.
Yeah, I am.
Sup, peeps?
Did I miss any good calls?
Lonesome losers in touch with me.
I'm staying incognito tonight as a matter of fact.
That's what's up.
Give me a second, bro.
I'm trying to fix this shit again.
Give me a second.
Fuck me.
Numbers coming in from Lonesome Losey here at the Grits Bar.
Hey, man.
Remember that guy we talked about, Grits?
Grits Grocery?
Should give them a call one day.
Cock of the Walk Restaurant.
There you go.
Little Rock, Arkansas.
The Big Daddy Casino.
Crazy Moose Casino.
Let's call the, actually, I want to call the Golden Knight Motel.
A guy answered there.
10.05 p.m.
Should still be open.
Reached an Integra mailbox.
Sorry, this mailbox is full.
Oh, boy.
Whoop-de-fucking-doo.
All right, good.
I don't want to like that, man.
Grits Bar, New Orleans.
That's what I wanted to do.
I forget what I wanted to do.
Let's see if that Google Voice thing is what I wanted to do.
We've got to come up with a good number here.
I want to do it live on the air.
We'll play this one here while we do that.
I finally got my invite.
Oh, you did too?
You got one?
Yeah, I finally got it, but it says right at the bottom of the email,
you can't use it in Canada.
Oh, you can't?
Well, you can have a Canadian number maybe,
or do they block it from calling Canadian?
Oh, they probably don't let you forward the Canadian numbers.
Oh, yeah, that sucks.
Oh, sorry, man.
Yeah, I think it's got something to do with the CRTC, Canadian laws up here.
Yeah, I guess so.
Yeah.
Hmm.
Man, what can you do?
Well, I'm sure they'll release a Canadian version at some point.
Maybe it'll be like Google.
Is there a Google.ca at all?
Is there a Canadian version of Yahoo and all the other ones do that?
Anyone else do that that I don't know of?
Does Canada have any of those?
Well, there's...
No, not really.
Even that...
Oh, what was it?
Jaduka?
Used to work for a while, and then they shut it down here.
Okay.
All right.
Well, okay.
We'll make a note of that here.
I'm looking for the Google Voice invite.
I know I had seen it here.
There we go.
All right, so, yeah, I finally got my invite here.
And I want to mention, everybody who listens to this show, if you like prank calls, this is a great tool for doing prank calls.
Just don't fuck it up for people, all right?
You go to google.com forward slash voice, google.com slash voice, and you put in your e-mail address to get an invite.
You'll probably get it within, like, two, three weeks is, like, the turnaround time.
Me and my coworkers and I have noticed.
about two or three weeks you you'll get your response back from your invite and basically
you're going to get in your email like i have here i'm going to click on i'm going to put in my google
like you have to have a google account i guess to do it or i think you just do it by email address
actually so no it doesn't matter you'll sign in with that and then basically when you come up here
this is awesome see right now they've got uh this is choose your number so i can put in uh you know
they can either assign me a number automatically or i can put in an area code and a word or phrase
and they'll try to find a match for it.
So I don't know what I could possibly pick here.
I was thinking it was 407, and I was going to do, like, donkey.
Well, let me see if I can find donkey anywhere available.
I think it would be funny to tell people,
okay, call, you know, blah, blah, blah, donkey or something like that.
No results for donkey.
Okay, there was before.
I remember there was donkey before, but I don't see that.
Let me see madhouse.
I doubt it.
That's too many letters anyway.
Let's see if prank is here.
The mouth.
There we go.
We got 71964prank.
It's out of Pueblo, Colorado.
Let's see here.
There's a number 93721prank.
That would be kind of fun to have.
I think we could do that.
80465prank.
That would be kind of easy to say if I tell people, you know, call in now, 80465prank.
I think that sounds awesome.
That kind of rolls off the tongue nice.
80465prank.
Then you got 71964prank, 66192prank, 2605prank8.
That's too much.
7-0-7-7-9-prank.
That's too hard.
7-0-7-7-4-1-2-4-0-prank.
41-2-40-9.
I'm like 2-0-9-8-7-prank.
2-6-5-prank.
No, I don't like that either.
2-6-0-5-prank-1.
No.
3-1-5-4-D-9-prank.
No.
I still like that first one that we had.
What was that one?
8-0-4-6-5-prank.
I think that sounds kind of...
It just rolls off nice.
8-0-4-6-5-prank.
All right.
Keep that in mind.
I don't know what else, any other phrases we can do.
It seems we got fart.
That's always fun.
765-FART-529.
No, that's going to be at the end.
I'm going to do the prank one.
I think that's the best one.
I'm going to try to get in like an area code.
What's the zip code or an area code we want to get?
I don't know.
90210.
There are no numbers in the 902.
Yeah, I'm sure those would not be available.
Those must be pretty popular.
All right, so we're going to create this one here, the prank one.
804-65-PRANK.
That's 804-65-PRANK.
I like that number.
All right, we're picking that there.
All right, I've got to set up a PIN number here.
I will do that now.
Super secret PIN number.
Enter it.
I agree to the Google Voice terms and privacy policy, and I continue.
And it wants a forwarding phone that will ring when my Google Voice number is called.
So we'll put in the studio line here.
Okay, it says this number is already being used on two other Google Voice accounts.
Forwarding numbers cannot be shared across more than two accounts.
That's fine.
I'm going to have it forward to something else.
It's used as a cell phone on another Google Voice account.
Well, holy shit.
What do I do?
Hmm.
I don't know what I can do.
There
are no options here.
Hmm.
We'll have to do it at a later time then.
I have to set up the forwarding on that.
In the meantime, we're going to continue and actually going to take a break as a matter of fact
because I've got to get myself some water.
I'm quite thirsty.
And I'm also going to get myself some meat.
I'm hungry for meat.
I hear there's a pork roast that we just finished.
gentlemen, and you know me and pork.
I'm Puerto Rican. What can I say?
Gotta have that pork.
When we come back, we'll have more prank calls and more stuff to do.
Hope you're enjoying your evening here with us here at Madhouse Radio.
It's 11.20 p.m. Eastern Standard Time, Thursday, July 23rd.
When we come back, we'll have more prank calls to do,
including the Cock of the Walk restaurant, Grits Bar,
the Big Daddy's Casino, as well as the Crazy Moose Casino.
And we still have the Crescent Beach Motel all on deck.
We also have a prank call request that came through during the weekend
and another one that came in yesterday that sounded quite interesting.
I'll read those out later on, and we'll do that.
You can send your prank request over at the website.
MadHouseLive.com is the site.
Go there, subscribe to our podcast, join our forums,
listen to some prank calls, and fuck, just enjoy yourself, all right?
Don't be an ass, but enjoy yourself.
We'll be right back in a moment.
More prank calls, more stuff.
Thank you.
We'll be back in about five minutes.
I heard a bullfrog there.
Sounds like Milkman.
Baby.
Milkman.
No bullfrogs, bro.
I'm Otto.
We get through it better than that.
Tell me, pals, that people are coming in to you.
How you doing?
Good.
What's up, buddy?
Good.
Are you the guy who said, uh, fuck you, bitch, motherfucker to me last week?
Asshole.
That's a great call.
Yeah, that was great.
That worked out well.
Fuck you, bitch, motherfucker.
That's it?
Fuck you, bitch, motherfucker.
You happy now?
You happy now?
Fuck you, bitch, motherfucker.
Fuck you, bitch, motherfucker.
Okay, that's it?
Yeah, that's it.
Fuck you, bitch, motherfucker.
You happy?
Yeah, that's it.
Listen.
No, listen.
You listen.
You listen.
You listen now.
Why are you chicken?
You listen.
Come over here if you a man.
Don't talk to me like chicken.
Wait, wait, wait.
Listen, listen.
Come over here.
I want to see you.
Listen, listen.
Face to face, motherfucker.
Listen, listen.
You listen.
If you a man, you chicken.
You's not man.
You lady.
You a pussy, motherfucker.
Show me your dick, motherfucker.
You have pussy, motherfucker.
Are you asking me out?
Are you asking me out?
Don't worry about it.
Wait, wait, wait. Hold on, buddy.
Hold on. Hold on. Listen.
Listen. Listen to this.
Fuck you, bitch, motherfucker.
Did you hear that?
So, you happy now?
Yeah, I am.
That's good. That's good.
Are you happy?
I'm happy I was your mom. Yeah, I'm fucking your mom
Yo, what's up kid you again? Yo, I left my debit card. Okay. Yo, did you get my debit card?
My name is Eddie Garcia. Look on a Eddie Garcia. What's your name, Eddie?
Garcia, yo, did it cause let me check for you. I left though. I left my debit card and my military ID
Okay, give me one second. Let me have fun for you. Okay
I don't have any Chris Cox here.
Did you check the bathroom?
Bathroom?
Yeah.
Hello?
Yeah, did you check the bathroom?
I checked the bathroom.
Yes or no?
No.
Fuck you, bitch, motherfucker.
You again?
Yes, right.
Fuck you, bitch, motherfucker.
What do you have to say?
No, no, no.
Did you know me?
What?
What?
No, no, I'm serious.
I'm serious.
Let me tell you.
That's all, folks.
Did you know me or no?
No, we don't.
Okay.
Okay, what?
What?
What the nigga, motherfucker?
What?
Go back to Africa, fucker.
I'm not from Africa, stupid.
Huh?
Stupid, I'm not from Africa.
For what?
I'm not from Africa, stupid.
Mexican?
No.
For what?
Where do you think I'm from?
For what?
For, for, for, from animal zoo?
No, I'm from Scotland, bitch.
Oh, okay, motherfucker.
Do you know, do you know who's you daddy?
No.
No.
Do you know how many guys fucked your mom before you came?
No.
Oh, that's good.
Go ask her.
Tell me.
How many guys fucked her before you came?
Tell me.
Tell me.
That's great.
How you doing?
You again?
No.
Has my son been calling you, sir?
Son?
My son.
Has my son been calling you?
I don't know.
Who are you?
My son is a little upset, and I caught him on the phone with his friend here, spending
the night again like they do every Thursday.
No.
No, because, I don't know, I called 9-1-1 for some people, some guy, he's playing, so I don't know what happened, you know, so just I called 9-1-1.
You called 9-1-1 for a stupid air-rav emergency?
Yeah, for the stupid...
Stupid air-rav emergency?
Mm-hmm.
Is that why you called 9-1-1?
That's good.
And then you said you were going to hurt me, remember that?
And you said you were going to bend his thorax.
I'm going to sue you.
What?
I'm sorry?
What?
I'm sorry?
What?
What did you say?
What?
I said what you just said
You said what you said
What'd I say?
What'd you say?
Yes
You just said something, what'd you say?
What'd I say for you?
You're trying to hurt me, go ahead
I hurt you?
Yeah, you said you were gonna hurt me
Say it again
I hurt you? I don't know you
I'm recording this, go ahead and say you were gonna hurt me
I don't know you, you call always, you call always
Hey, but you understand
I told you, if you man
Listen
I told you, I told you, if you are man
Come here, don't talk, don't talk phone
Come here, face to face, I want to see you
Who are you?
I don't know you.
Who are you?
But if I come down there, what are you going to do to me?
Well, just come down.
Don't worry about it.
My dad wants me to come down.
Listen, listen.
Hold on.
Slow down a second, buddy.
I can't do nothing.
Slow down a second, buddy.
But don't call always, every day, okay?
My dad said I should go down there and apologize to you.
Well, anyway, this is work here.
This is a job here.
I don't want you to joke with me.
If you're going to play, if you're going to play, enjoy yourself.
Because I called 911.
I want to come down there to apologize.
You're not going to let me come down and apologize?
Taking the world on force.
98.6.
No.
1-888-278-8509.
You know what?
I hope that when you die, they put your GPS in your box and a trapdoor at the bottom.
So when you die, you open that trapdoor at the bottom.
You check the GPS, and you go straight to Madhouse Radio.
Madhouse Radio is back.
You are bigger than a woman.
You are better than a woman.
We'll always be behind you.
Do not let a woman ever, ever make you who you are.
What that nigga want, guy?
Word up.
Look out for the cops, though.
Cash, fool.
Word up.
Super 5's over here, baby.
Word up.
Super 5's niggas got garbage down the way.
Word up.
Cash, fool.
Everything around me.
Cream, dude.
Yeah.
Yeah, check this old fly shit out.
Word up.
Cash rules, everything around me.
Queen, get the money, here we go, check this shit.
Yo, time's up.
Hello, people.
What's the video about?
Uh, hello, children.
Hello, children.
Um, Madhouse Radio is back for a few more prank calls.
We're going to call it a night here.
We got the Grits Bar.
Let's see if they pick up.
We're going to use our new prank line.
804-65-PRANK.
You guys got smart balance or that butter?
You got the real butter or you guys use the smart balance?
This is the ballroom.
Yeah, but if you guys had something to use like that,
would you use smart balance or promise or, like, real butter?
Probably real butter.
Fuck yeah, man.
You know why?
Because that fucking smart balance is pussy shit.
My wife tried to buy that smart balance again.
I made her eat the whole thing with a spoon right in front of me.
I said, you learn your lesson, you buy this shit.
My house is nothing but plastics, melted plastics and oils.
Yeah, man.
man. Why would you hear about the chemicals in some of the beers now, man? Like, you know
that MGD, you know what that Miller Genuine draft that's only 16 calories, you know what
I'm talking about? Right. You know how many chemicals it's got in it? It's got like 52
chemicals that aren't in a regular beer. The fuck do you think they... I don't drink it.
The fuck do you think they's putting in you, man? I don't know, man. They're putting some
shit in you, chemicals, and you're over there just selling. You're probably drinking the
chemicals yourself. You probably got chemicals all over there. I will. How many chemicals
chemicals do you think you touch every day? Do you touch a few chemicals? I don't know,
probably. You're afraid you might spill chemicals or something and drink them in an accident?
A friend of mine was mopping the floor, man, and he dumped some ammonia and water in a
mop bucket, and then he mixed it up, and then the next thing you knew, he was drinking out
of the mop bucket. He forgot it, and he got sick. I had to pump his stomach, man. You
know? I mean, anybody can make that mistake. You never know. You can make a mistake right
now and tell me you love me or something. You thought I was your mom or your old girl
Like when you hung up
I did that once at work
It was pretty funny
Alright
Hey um
Why don't you hang up the phone
That asshole
Alright
Alright
Stupid asshole
Thank you
Fucking hell
See that
That was a conversation
Right there
That was one of the things
We said you shouldn't do
White boy
We were just teaching him
We were just looking out
For the white boy
You're right
We're teaching
Exactly
You're instructing
You're showing
The different ways
To do it
Right
Right
Thank you
Thank you
Right
Alright
We were waiting for a video
Motherfucker
Methods
There were methods
Seriously
Seriously, man, motherfuck this, um, the new Syndicate player, man.
What they're using now, it's live video.
It's ass.
It just doesn't let me connect.
It doesn't let me stay connected for more than, like, you know, a little bit at a time.
Oh, crap.
Jeez.
Trying to fix it.
Sometimes all you need is just a little bit at a time.
Yeah, that's nice.
Good.
Thank you.
Next so-called prank call tonight is coming right up.
Where it is, I don't know.
Call from.
To accept, press 1.
To send a voicemail, press 2.
Well, good, man.
Dude, I give up on Syndicate, man.
I don't know what happens.
I just log in and I let it go, and the next thing I know, it says I'm on it.
I don't fucking know with Syndicate.
I mean, everything changes every time I get on.
Yeah, man.
I'm trying to, you know, I'm trying to stay on.
Especially me when it's like I get on, like, once every other week.
Why?
What happened?
You got a real life?
You got a girl?
I know.
I got a girl now.
Where does she live?
Does she live far?
She lives in Georgia.
She's 33 years old.
She's got four kids.
Big leg.
You're fucked up.
Fuck you, you liar.
Where's she?
No, you're already.
Seriously, okay, so who are you dating, an older girl now?
Is she older?
No, she's like 23, I think.
And you're how old, 20?
19 now.
You're 19 now?
I was 20 after 19.
Oh, okay, fuck you.
All right, cool.
Anyway, all right, so congratulations.
Am I on it?
Yeah, you are.
So congratulations, you're with an older girl, huh, 23?
Yeah.
Does she have any kids?
I think I'm immature.
Does she have any kids?
No, no kids.
No?
Did you hit that yet?
No, I didn't.
Why not?
What's going on?
Have you met her?
There's a lot of fucking lag.
Lag where?
One where, exactly.
Like, between what I'm saying.
Where are you listening it from?
Where are you tuning in at?
The madhouse.
Okay, yeah, it's got lag.
Yeah, it's got lag.
You just got to deal with it, man.
Take it easy, okay?
I fucking hate lag.
Well, I'm trying to do a show here, Ash.
I fucking hate it.
All right, Ash, you know what?
Go fuck yourself.
No, don't hang up.
Fucking talk to the guy.
Trying to get him in a conversation and be nice to the guy.
Look at you.
Shut up.
Stupid.
Don't call me, you know.
Talk to you, not listen to him.
I'm calling him.
I'm trying to talk to the guy.
I'm trying to talk shit, and he's like.
He's drinking too much fluoride, that motherfucker.
Seriously, if you're going to call back, you call back, you've got to be on point, kid.
You know, we don't have time.
We've got limited time here.
The Illuminati's moving in on us.
Fuck.
You're the same thing I've been watching on the show.
Like Spider-Man, it's not all victory and pain.
If you're a born loser.
You've reached the office of Valente, Masterson, and Little John.
Our office is currently closed.
Please call back during normal business hours from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Eastern, Monday through Friday.
If this is an emergency, please leave a message at the beep.
Someone from our on-call staff will return your call as soon as possible.
Thank you and we appreciate it.
To access, you have no new messages.
To place a call, please enter the phone number you would like to dial, followed by the pound key.
For international numbers, please enter 011 plus the country code and number.
Name and number at the sound of the tone and I'll be able to get back to you soon.
Ken and thanks for calling.
Do enter your service.
Record your message after the tone.
To send a numeric page, press 5.
5. When you are finished recording, hang up. Or for delivery options, press pound.
If you're not answering the phones, y'all are making me look like a fucking asshole.
This is like a fucking asshole right in front of everybody.
I better not be calling back, motherfucker.
To replay your message, press 1.
Let's listen to it.
To continue recording, press...
This Google voice isn't coming out.
The phones are making me look like a fucking asshole.
It keeps going.
To replay your message, press 1.
To continue recording, press 2.
To delete and re-record your message, press 3.
For delivery options, at the tone, please continue recording your message.
To replay your message, press 1.
At the tone, continue recording your message.
To replay your message, press 1.
Continue recording, press 2.
At the tone, please continue recording your message.
To replay your message, press 1.
To continue recording, press 2.
To delete, at the tone, please continue recording your message.
All right, check this out.
They're not answering their phones at all and making me look like a fucking asshole.
Awesome.
Let's mark it urgent.
To delete and re-record your message, press 3.
For delivery options, press 4.
To cancel this message, press star.
To send this message now, press pound or hang up.
They're going to mark it urgent, asshole.
Your message has been sent.
Thank you for using T-Mobile voicemail.
Goodbye.
that fuck t-mobile they don't let you march to the urgent what the fuck can you what if it was
urgent has anybody ever used that for good use an urgent voicemail no one ever i've never gotten
anybody to leave me an urgent voicemail if someone has it was having an emergency maybe once or twice
in my life of having cell phones and voicemail no one's ever left me and then sometimes it says to
to make private what's that mean to make private whatever madhouse radio thursday night as usual
usual 11 42 p.m we were just living a nice friendly voicemail for zolar we'll be on tomorrow
night at 9 p.m eastern etc etc yada yada fortunately we're not syndicate radio tv anymore we also had
to hang up on evil already because you think he wants to call in here telling people what to do
i don't understand that what's that about calling here like you play the motherfucking rent
motherfucker whatever i am in the chat room i'm in a chat room under the name chichon c-h-i-c-h-o-n
end so tuck you're the only person who has operator capacity so if you know my uh mine
opping me and then if he and also lonesome loser and new new and i don't know zolar's in there
cheech on yeah that's me chichon sean or call sean or cal sean or cal has a g1 what's up brother i
got g1 too motherfucker it's over here my on my side i like my g1 my rooted g1 where would you be
Be in under that name.
Thank you, Tuck, for operating me.
Thank you.
Let me get that Lonesome Loser here.
I don't know.
Obviously, you guys are slow because Lonesome Loser figured it out.
He's been sending me numbers all night.
He's smart enough to look at the IP address and figure it out.
That must be him.
You guys could learn a lot from Lonesome Loser, Tuck and Kokanee both.
No Milkman tonight and no Milkman.
I don't know, to be honest with you.
Honestly, I can't tell you if Milkman will be.
I would like to see him back at some time, at some point.
But I think right now is best that Milkman stay away from Madhouse Radio
and stay away from me and i and several people have asked me here tonight what happened i know
that milkman's out there telling certain people certain things that happened and that's not how
it happened and that's all there is to it so i haven't heard anything about anything well let's
keep it that way we're not going to talk about it anymore and let's say i'm sorry milkman is not
going to be on the show um i would say indefinitely at this point all right and it's fine we'll be
we'll do fine you know it's just all an unfortunate incident that's all it is that's
all it is he's not he's not allowed on here that's all just some old folks right back in the
next part calling on us calling an eso gas station eso the uh international version of exxon they're
in england and bath
yeah whatever what's the worst he'll do care less i don't even i don't even know that he's
the only way i know he's this is that i played a stupid laugh but i haven't even done that tonight
I don't even care to...
He's just been...
He's just so...
He's so...
He's so 2003.
Yeah, it's a guy in Florida.
Someone on Comcast in Florida.
Someone here in Atlanta.
Maybe it's the theme of being a little cunt.
Dirty bitch.
I'm gonna go get a fucker real quick.
I'm back now.
Wrong number.
Fuck.
Sense per minute.
Whoever's in this KDK right on you,
I think it's pretty funny.
Make it...
Have fun with it, man.
Hello, your call cannot be taken at the moment,
so please leave your message after the tone.
What a cunt show tonight.
What a fucking cunt show tonight.
Oh, man.
man. It's all an illusion anyway. It's all an illusion anyway. All right. Continuing
on with attempts at prank calls. This is a slow night tonight, but we're still having
fun. You know what? We're on the air. Fuck it. I don't care. And we've got a new Google
Voice account. That's 804-65-PRANK. I sent you the number and everything with one of
the news stories. I did? Okay. All right. Anyway, seriously, 804-65-PRANK. Bookmark
that. Send us your pranks. Call us if you want. 804-65-PRANK. I love that number. That's
It's awesome.
Everything, right?
Yes.
Worst comes to worst, we'll get rid of the toll-free line.
We'll put in a 804-65 crank.
That'll be our new hotline.
That's been a different line, so hopefully in a month I'll have mine.
Hopefully in a month.
Man, I keep waiting for it.
They said they're going to let current members send out invites again.
You know, they did that once, and I was stupid,
and I didn't send out a bunch of invites when I had a chance
because I didn't realize the potential of it.
Now that I do, I can't wait for them to do that.
But I think I'm going to make a few more Google accounts for the show purposes only
and get some Google Voice accounts, get some funny ones.
Yeah, isn't it cool if they, like, you know, the Gmail stuff,
like in the day where you could send out invites, they have, like, 100 invites?
Yeah, yeah, back in the days when Gmail was really in beta, back in the real beta days.
Exactly.
They used to have that for Google Voice, but you can't anymore.
It sucks.
I used to have 100, and they took them away.
Yeah, it sucks.
Yeah, Maven does say 804-65-PRANK.
The number sounds so professional, it does.
Good point.
804-65-PRANK.
Call the prank lines, everybody.
So when they call you, is it toll-free?
No.
You know what I'm saying?
No, it's not toll-free, but seriously, folks,
does anybody really care about numbers being toll-free anymore?
Except for old people.
Does anybody else?
I mean, everyone has a cell phone.
It doesn't matter.
And a lot of people that do have home phone numbers,
they got free.
I know, but, you know, there's old people around still.
Yeah, they're not calling this show.
Milkman, maybe, but he's got a cell phone.
Milkman actually has a cell phone.
He's the oldest person.
Jonathan has a cell phone.
And that's it.
We're covered.
Everyone either has Skype or to call, or they're going to call on their cell phone,
or if they call from their home phone, they probably have free, you know,
real-on-distance.
I have free-on-distance on the phone here.
I can call Puerto Rico.
I call my family all the time in Puerto Rico.
Say, hey, what's up in Puerto Rico?
Sucks to be you.
They're all telling me that 300 cases of swine flu in Puerto Rico.
Oh, that's funny because I haven't talked about it here in the media.
So either they're lying to you to distract you about something there in the government in good old Puerto Rico
or the U.S. government suppressing the story.
Four to four right in Puerto Rico.
Yep.
This machine, this machine.
Okay, so let's look at this number that I hear from Kokanee.
Kokanee, which of the stories was it, sir?
The 50-year-old man, I see it here.
Man seems eatery after claiming to find a condom in his soup.
The 50-year-old man began and ate his soup and felt what he believed was tough cheese on one side of his mouth.
Motherfuck.
The suit reads,
When he could not chew it into pieces, he commented to his family that it felt like rubber.
He spit it out, spooned it onto a napkin, at which time his wife said,
Oh my God, it's a condom.
Wow.
I think he's just trying to scam something there.
I think it's a big scam.
How does a condom get in that?
Well, you know, a lot of times in the industry, they use those finger condoms.
They're just like condoms, but they're smaller, and you're supposed to use it if you cut your finger.
It's a lot easier to put on, and it'll stay on.
It's a lot more effective than putting a Band-Aid, because a Band-Aid is probably just going to fall off into the food,
and that'll be nasty, but they've got these little mini condoms that you roll on your fingers only.
I've seen them before in the restaurant industry.
They're basically like condoms for your finger.
That's probably what it was.
He was chewing.
Maybe one of those rolled off.
I bet you anything that's exactly what it was.
He's just making a big deal.
He's like, oh, it's a condom.
It's a condom.
He's like, no, it's probably not.
It's probably one of those finger condoms.
That's what they call them.
I don't know.
It was tied in a knot, I think it says.
Oh, God's nasty then.
All right.
It has female DNA on it.
Oh, really?
It's kind of hot.
Like black female or what was it?
Does it say?
Is it Asian?
They can tell.
They can tell these days.
You know, they can look at the semen and the woman, the mucus stuff, the mucus leavings on the condom.
They can tell if, you know, they could see if she was Asian, if she had blonde hair.
Blonde-haired Asians got, you know, blonde-haired Asians with big basketball-sized tits.
Give me one of them.
Yeah, buddy.
That would be kind of rare.
Well, they're out there, and I'll never be with one.
Guess where I'm going to go Saturday, guys.
here at the
Orlando Science Center
this summer
they've been having
and I had no idea
until just a few weeks ago
they were having
this laser show
weekends
and a bunch of laser shows
were in town
they had a
Jimi Hendrix one
they had
a Beatles one
Tuck
they had a Beatles one
I was like
fuck Tuck would have
probably liked that
Sean Ward would
probably dig that
the Beatles one
I missed that
yeah
but
Saturday I'm going to be
seeing a Pink Floyd
laser show
and
and a
a Led Zeppelin laser show on Saturdays.
Yes, well, this one here is going to be at the Orlando Science Center.
I'm quite excited about that.
So if you want to come by and meet us,
Madhouse Radio is going to be live on site with 98.6 The Mouth
at the Orlando Science Center.
That's this Saturday at 8 p.m. Eastern Standard Time.
We'll be broadcasting live from there over at madhouselive.com.
Be sure to tune in, guys, all right?
Don't miss that.
I'm looking forward to another live.
Make sure you request the Pink Floyd ledger show that you request, Star.
We didn't have it.
The phone's ringing.
Call from.
Keep the.
To accept, press 1.
To send a voicemail, press 2.
To listen in on the voicemail, press 3.
At any time, you may press Star to join the call.
Your caller just hung up.
Goodbye.
That's awesome.
They can call in, and we can choose to put in through the voicemail.
Tuck, look at the amazingness of this.
Someone could.
We could prank call somebody.
Oh, amazing.
Oh, big old phone of amazingness.
They call it back, right?
We get the call here.
We pick it up, and we know that it's the person that we prank called.
So I hit three, and it sends in the voicemail,
but we get to listen as they're leaving the voicemail.
And we can even cut in the middle of it.
If they're talking shit, we can cut in the middle
unless they tell them to go fuck themselves.
And we're listening.
You know what I mean?
Oh, we are ready.
You can do that.
Yeah, that's awesome.
Yeah, the abilities that this gives to prank callers,
especially doing live prank calls, is amazing, folks.
folks. Google.com slash voice. Be sure to
sign up for your Google Voice account.
You can read the messages that are being
sent. Fuck yeah, that's so
fucking good. Dude, that is so
fucking right. I got to hit myself
in the head with a microphone. I'm so fucking
excited
about that
that's right
the transcript voicemails
they transcribe the voicemail for you on the screen
email to all the
voice messages you get
guys it's just the guys
the guys
the guys at work today were like
Like, just going off on Google Voice, it's like, oh, my God.
I've started a monster.
They're all like, dude, you can totally do this.
It's going to totally revolutionize.
I'm like, oh, fuck me.
I'm going to block him.
At any time, you may press star to join the call.
Is it already?
It's already in there.
Good.
I'd be able to come back to Madhouse Studios.
Call me back.
Evil Friday.
When you go fuck yourself, Peggy, you go fuck yourself.
I was listening to this conversation the whole time.
You go to hell, you're banned from the show just like Milkman.
You understand?
you understand, you little fuck, you little shit
I hope he heard that, I hope he heard it
I hope it worked, he said I could hit start
he's probably like, what the fuck
that was funny
hey guys, Madhouse Radio's
here, it's almost midnight
it's almost Friday, oh my god
on the east coast at least, on the same coast
Madhouse Radio
MadhouseLive.com
you can imagine all the conversations
and messages, jealous boyfriends
listening in to guys
and breaking in as the
The innocent guy is leaving a conversation.
Right.
So, again, we had a lot of people who were a little upset who heard from Milkman earlier this week.
I do want to let you all know, yes, Milkman has been relieved of his duties here on Madhouse Radio.
He got into an argument with me over the phone, and he made some personal comments about myself and my family.
And I told him that, no, and he apologized to me and said, no, I'm sorry.
that I can't work with him anymore.
And that's it.
He's not allowed on the show unless things...
I would say it's going to be a while, Tuck, to be honest with you.
I can't be amicable around him anymore.
It's between you and him.
I can't say shit about shit.
I'm sorry.
I know there's some people out there upset
and they said they're going to leave, not listen to the show.
Go ahead and not listen to the show.
Milkman is fired because he disrespected me,
Me, the administrator of the show.
And that's it.
I have the final word.
The church organs are ordering a milkman right now.
There you go.
It's funny you mention that.
I'm going to be able to talk about that one day.
One moment, we'll be right back with another prank call on Paul at the end of the show.
Native milkman.
Hi, Mission View.
Team Jumper, this is Kristen.
How may I help you?
Yeah, hi.
I have a suspicion that there's a whole confusion regarding the whole thing that happened with that guy.
I figured it out.
Okay.
You know how you people put those finger condoms on your fingers sometimes when you get cut?
You make the food? Do you know how you have to put finger condoms on?
I don't know. I'm not sure. I've never had to do that.
Is the chef back there?
Uh, yeah.
Put the chef on the phone. I've got to talk to him about this.
Tell him it's Bob Morton from the New Solvers.
Okay, just one moment.
Thank you.
Fucking cunts. She hung up on me. What a fucking bitch.
Did she hang up on me, that little monkey?
Just a moment.
Returning to main menu.
You have no new mess. Please enter the phone number.
This is a free call.
Good evening. Thank you for calling the Claims Jumper in Mission Viejo.
Hello, my name is Mariah.
May I assist you with a takeout order or a reservation today?
What's with you hanging up the phone like that, man?
I'm sorry?
What did you just hang up the phone like?
You just called in and somebody said, yeah, hold the line, and she went quick.
She, like, slammed the phone real hard.
Sorry.
I actually don't know.
I just walked up front.
I'm sorry.
What is so...
I'm not who you talked to before.
I'm sorry.
Who was the girl?
I think apologies and order.
I don't know who it was.
I'm sorry.
She hung up.
She said bad words.
She was like, like that.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Because...
I don't know.
I'm sorry.
Sorry, I don't know who that was.
I just walked up front.
Is there something I can help you with?
I was supposed to speak to the chef.
He's actually not available.
He's with a guest right now.
Can you take a message?
Well, this is Bob Morton.
I need to hold for him.
Okay.
Is there a question I can answer for you or something?
No, it's personal.
I need to speak to...
Tell him it's Bob Morton from the News Solver
that I figured out a clue about it.
Did you know about the case?
The clue that we figured out?
Well, no, because you know how you people
have those finger condoms
you put on those condoms on your fingers
when you get hurt?
When you cut yourself?
They're like condoms, but they're small?
Right.
And that stupid asshole probably was chewing on one of those, right?
Stupid ass.
He's so stupid.
Okay.
All right, I'll let him know you said that.
No, no, honestly, I've got proof of it, though, because he came up to me, this guy, and said,
I said, get out of here.
I'm Bob Morton from the New Solvers.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
You know, all comments and everything with that, can I give you our main office phone
number so you can tell them what you found out?
No, can I give you my phone number so you can call me back?
It's urgent.
He calls me back, please.
Okay.
Are you ready?
What's your phone number?
It's 888-278-8509, and ask for extension 852 if I'm not available.
What were the last four digits there?
888-278-8509.
And what was your extension?
852, Bob Morton, the news desk.
He needs to call me back now because we're trying to get this before the last press.
If it doesn't miss the last press, then it's going to be all over.
Okay.
I'm going to have to go forward with the story.
You know what?
I'm just going to have to submit it.
I can't stay around.
Okay.
How about I give you – I'm sorry.
All right, let me give you the phone number where you can reach somebody.
Well, is someone there now?
I'll have somebody call you back.
When?
I'll go ahead.
I'll call them right now.
I'll have somebody call you back, okay?
Slade, can I give you my cell phone number then?
Sure.
407-459-4534.
All right, I'll have somebody call you right back.
Please do, because really, I've got to go.
I've got to go home.
I've got to get this on.
Either we're going to go with it or I'll just go with the original story,
and it makes you guys sound like crap.
I'll have somebody call you back right now, okay?
It's sweep weeks.
It sweeps.
It sweeps.
Okay, thank you.
I'll call you right back.
Write down that it sweeps.
Okay.
All right, thanks.
Bye.
Thank you.
Bye.
Stupid.
Anyway, I don't know what that was about.
Milkman is too old.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, Mary.
No, he told me now that I'm too old.
Motherfucker.
No, when there was kokanee.
Or faux kokanee, at least.
All right.
Lone Wolf sends in a Chinese buffet.
It's a restaurant over here, apparently, in Fox Lake, Illinois.
Hey, Carlito.
though the other day I was waiting for my girlfriend
in the lobby of a Chinese food
restaurant. The lobby has a little
pond in it and seeing that I'm stupid
I took three cents out of it
and was about to throw it back when the manager
came out and threatened to call the police.
I am now kicked out of my favorite
restaurant. Oh, that sucks, man.
Dude, if that happened to me, if I got kicked out of my
favorite Chinese buffet, I'd be so
fucking bummed. I don't know what you're talking about, bro.
I don't know what that would suck.
Dude, that's not... I'm not going to break.
Bullshit. Anyway,
Anyway, I'm not caked in my favorite restaurant,
and they're in an outlet mall-type thing with a movie theater to the left and a bar to the right.
There is a male cook, a male manager, and two female waitresses.
The pond is loaded with coins and is on the direct side of everything.
The food is shit compared to Panda Express and other local buffets.
And why is it your favorite?
I hope this will work for you, but I will not be offended if it doesn't.
Well, I'll try.
I don't know how you feel.
I went to my favorite Chinese buffet on Monday.
My favorite one.
I have a real favorite one.
It's really good.
I'll take anybody there.
If you come to Orlando, you're a Madhouse fan, you let me know.
I'll take you out there to eat.
Take me to the Lopez's.
Oh, yeah, Lopez's.
Lopez's.
Lopez's.
What is wrong with me?
They know I use pay calls.
We can do those.
Nothing like three minutes of that.
All right, so no buffet.
Moving right along, we have another request.
I can't man, let me see if it's worthy of being prank called.
Just a moment here.
Well, it's from white boys.
I say we don't do it.
Let's see.
This person posted his or her number.
I think it's a girl in the Shane Dawson chat room on Ustream.
Oh, that's Shane.
There's a whole bunch of fucking people.
I'm Shane Dawson on Ustream.
I'm the guy that puts his cats on the air on Just To Know TV.
It's like, fuck you.
Hey, fuck you.
Like, get what the clown would say.
What cat?
Just To Know TV.
What are you talking about?
Fucking Catman.
You know what I'm talking about.
Catman!
Thank you for that.
All right, I'm debating whether or not I do any prank calls.
We got some numbers in the UK that I guess we could hit up here.
I guess I will.
Well, it's been a really slow night for prank calls tonight,
but we're still trying to do the best we can,
and it's, like I said, better than not doing anything.
Why not, bitches?
Red Lose and Loser has sent in a number here,
several numbers for the UK.
We're going to go ahead and start with Peter Bath.
This is Mr. Bath.
Okay, good.
I want you to get up and get out of your bed
and start doing some exercises and some jumping jacks.
Hello, sir.
Mr. Bath.
Mr. Bathroom.
This is my number.
Well, it was a family member,
but he swore me to secrecy that I'm not supposed to tell you who it was.
You know what I'm talking about?
I don't need a phone call, thank you very much.
Well, no, but do you need a...
I need you to do some exercise because I hear you're a fat buddy.
No, you need an exercise for your back, mate.
Don't get off the phone.
You're overweight and you're fat and you might have, you know,
problems with your health if you don't start doing some exercise.
So why don't you get up and start working out, all right?
Please?
Please hold the line.
Remember, they don't hang up on you in the UK most of the time.
They just put you on hold forever.
It's very polite of them.
Please hold the line.
Fat buddy.
hello hello meat man mr bath fuck yourself that was mr bath everybody that wasn't much of anything
but it was still something gary jones he's in boston lincolnshire england wrangle i don't
understand these fucking addresses for these people he's he lives in wrangle boston lincolnshire
england i mean how is what what is what is can we just have a city in a state you wouldn't have to
have the country i guess you have to have the country too maybe that's what's going on but
isn't really necessary it fuck fuck me i want to do people in europe understand the concept of a
state of being in the united states where you have several states inside one big state i think it's
weird for them gary hey gerald how you doing did i wake you up good all right because you know
you're supposed to be doing exercise in the morning so they told me to give you a call make
sure you got up and start doing some jumping jacks and stuff hello what's wrong with your health
profile why don't you do some uh you know maybe uh go do a little walking circles a little bit
and do the washing machines.
You know how to do the washing machine exercise?
Gary, Mr. Jones.
Gary Jones, motherfucker.
I'm bored with this show.
I will terminate the show now.
Thank you, everybody, for listening tonight.
I want to thank Lonesome Loser for being a friend.
Lonesome Loser, thank you for sending us your shit tonight.
I want to thank White Boy for calling in.
I want to thank Zola for trying to call in.
I'm going to go save you on the nasty, weird message.
Kokanee for sending in news articles.
We got to one of them that we got a prank call out of.
I'm sorry I didn't get to the other ones.
Tuck, of course, his website is Tuckermike.com.
And everybody, I just want to say again, you know, about the whole Milkman situation.
If you know Milkman, you know, he's going to explain it to you one way,
and I'm going to tell you the real way and what happened.
The truth about, you know, what happened, I wish I could tell you guys,
but out of respect for my family and for Milkman,
because despite the fact we may not be really happy with each other right now
and not be on the same, you know, side right now, looking eye to eye,
I still have respect for him, and I'm not going to, you know,
make him look embarrassed for the things that he's done in his personal life
that I don't agree with.
But I'm sorry to say, yes, that I don't expect Milkman to be back on the show
for a long time, if ever.
All right?
And just, you know, I would tell you to keep an open mind
if you talk to Milkman behind my back.
We'll catch you here next week.
I've got to go.
Bye.
Thanks, everybody.
Madhouse Radio is live Thursday nights
Be sure to visit us online at madhouselive.com.

Comments 0

Loading comments…