96 Point Mouth

This is Bogdan.

You're listening 96.

You are listening to the Madhouse Radio Podcast.

Remember Paul Bearer back in the old WWE?

Back when it was the WWF?

He'd go, oh, yes.

Right.

Oh, man.

That was so creepy.

Paul Bearer.

He'd come up with the Undertaker.

He's like, oh, yes.

Oh, God.

That was so creepy.

He's a big, fat guy.

He looked like a tick about to burst.

He's all red.

WWF, WWF.

Do you remember Brother Love?

Brother Love was crazy, too.

He looked like he was about to pop every time I saw him.

He had to have been painting himself red or something, man.

Brother Love.

Fucking Bobby Heenan.

A bunch of rednecks wrestling.

Nothing worse than a redneck wrestling than a redneck who doesn't wrestle,

just hangs out and interviews wrestlers all the time.

Runs for mayor.

They run for mayor and they find God.

They become preachers.

Jay Lawler ran for mayor.

Oh, man.

Well, you know.

A Memphis.

I guess the epitome of that would be.

A Memphis, yeah.

The epitome is, what's his face?

The guy, Jesse Ventura, he's the epitome.

He was the governor of Minnesota.

Interesting guy.

Exactly.

He's the one who actually did it.

You know, I don't know.

Maybe some of you audiophiles, milkman, you're one right there.

Like, my microphone isn't loud, but it sounds horribly over-modulated every time I talk into it.

You sound good over here on a team speech.

You are coming in pretty hot.

yeah well it isn't loud it's just very like over modulated like over modulated it's that you sound

good but you're real strong strong strong strong like bull i don't know i'm working on it i sound

strong too yeah so uh we're not on oh see here we go i think this is what i'm looking for

sucks on my phone okay good we got it all right woohoo i figured out the problemation

all right so no we're not in syndicate because the syndicate thing isn't where i haven't i haven't

even communicated with them in like three weeks i don't think i know i can't i have lost my spot

there by now i can't get on their service the whatever they're using the stream shit it does

it's fucked up it doesn't work so we lost that shot uh that show that slot that we had the

zola had to shut down his uh prank call station on uh justin that we were on also

zola isn't even doing shows anymore he just he he said he's done for a while what happened man

What's the story on that?

You know there's that big, ugly-looking, the black deal that looks like Grimace?

Like if you took Grimace from McDonald's commercials and you painted him black,

you dyed the suit black, he was the guy.

The Michelin tire guy.

He looks like a big gorilla.

You know what I'm talking about?

He does prank calls on there sometimes.

Michelin tire guy.

A big gorilla eating up Zolar?

I don't know.

They got into a race war or something, and the N-word got used,

and then justin himself from justin tv found out and i'm not kidding you zola got banned from

justin.tv and he's in zola zola was like fuck this and he just he just lost a jew he's like

whatever i'm just gonna do and i gotta be honest i've been the same way lately myself but

i gotta come back to this shit's fun good to see dr uh lego and yes dr lego bringing up and i

I didn't write it down on the big board, but Captain Lou Albano died, you know?

I don't know.

He's well-known.

You know, he was in the WWF back in the days, back in that era,

and the Cyndi Lauper stuff.

Remember, he was fucking Cyndi Lauper and shit.

Cyndi Lauper videos.

He was in.

Yeah.

I didn't like the rubber band thing, man.

I don't know what that thing was about.

It just worked.

Dude, it worked on Captain Lou Albano, you know?

That Captain, you know, it fucking worked on him.

but the most awesome i thought was awesome man i liked it well you know what he was i think he was

the best person ever ever to play mario for if you ask me matter of fact the best man i ever put on

the uh the plumbers the red plumbers outfit with the hat uh with the m on it is uh luau bano so

dude fucking goes out to you man all right we surely know his rubber band is gonna have to find

The only episode I remember watching of that was one of the blonde girls in it, and they had chocolate cake, and him and the guy playing Luigi the Brother at the end as the credits are rolling are spreading chocolate cake on this very buxom young blonde girl's body.

Really?

Dude, I missed that episode.

I would have fucking jerked off watching that.

That's the only thing I remember from that show at all.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, that show came out when I was like 11 and 12, I think.

Yeah, that's when I was on.

Yeah, you remember the, you know, the dance?

You used to do the dance, right?

Shake your hips from side to side.

Remember?

Shake your hips from side to side.

Do the Mario.

I only remember the blonde and the cake.

That's all I remember from that show.

Yeah, it was on the Independence Station.

that came in kind of weak

in my part of Orlando.

Yes, it did.

It came in,

but it wasn't on the Fox

or, like, you know,

or the PBS.

It was...

Why am I clapping?

Why are we clapping?

Yeah, let's clap.

It wasn't on PBS.

Yeah, yeah, bitch.

Blue Blondes!

Hey, Dad!

Who knows, Dad?

Woo-hoo!

Chocolate.

Fucking, that's the last thing

I want to see is Lou Albano

fucking, you know,

doing a Dirty Sanchez

on a buxom, you know,

the guy was like so grotesque if there's youtube around with that let me know sure there is yeah

dude there's gonna you know i think after the show are you guys sadly on the youtube look look

for that yeah all you youtubers man find out all right so we got some numbers coming in from

lonesome loser we're gonna hit those up see what we got this is the length we got so what happened

i heard i heard the kid got in a balloon right and then he ended up he was hiding in the closet

Was it the whole time or something in the basement?

Then some kid gets in some balloon.

He was in a box in the attic of the garage.

So supposedly this family was put in, wrapped in foil,

and the kid, the brother said, yeah, he crawled in and let it go

and went flying up in the air in the parents' side.

Then the National Guard go up in a helicopter after the stupid balloon

and there was nobody in it the whole time?

Yeah, they were looking for him.

Wow.

That would be awesome if they had, like, a sniper and he shot from the helicopter

copter and shot the balloon and it went down it was like like the whole time

that'd be cool what if you floated all the way like to alaska and it was about to cross in like

over the uh over the bearing straight to russia and they shot it to bring them down before he

went into the russians and the russians would take them if it was like in the 80s they'd probably

take the kid and they make it into like a fucking soviet superman so what's are these kids are

Are these people ethnic?

Including Superman.

If it's a family of science fuckers, I'm presuming they're, like, Indian or something.

Is that the case here?

Was it some Indian family?

That'd be really cool if it was, like, an Indian family that this happened to.

Was it in Colorado or something?

There's a lot of Indians out there, right?

They're everywhere.

Anywhere with a 7-Eleven.

You got Indians anywhere with a Dunkin' Donuts.

You have an ethnic person.

You have a dark sand person.

There's nothing wrong with that.

Nothing wrong with being a little somber.

All right.

Numbers, as I was saying.

And finally, we got some Vietnamese restaurant.

Okay.

Well, wait a minute now.

This is a Chinese restaurant in Vietnam.

Interesting.

We're going to call the rule.

Anyway, so I got a plan here.

I was talking to Lonesome Loser about this, and I discussed it with Nunu.

I don't know if I told Tuck.

Milkman, I don't know if I told you either, but there's a plan here in play.

All right, here's what I was thinking.

You're off the radar, so you haven't told anybody shit about nothing.

No, I haven't told anybody shit about nothing.

I do keep in league with Lonesome Loser.

We're always planning and plotting.

We have an idea to do like the crux of prank calls.

I don't know what I'm going to call the project yet exactly.

But we're going to call the enemies of the United States.

We're going to call the top five countries at odds with the United States.

We're going to prank call them.

So I was telling New New Lonesome Loser that we need to call.

And you people sent your suggestions, but I thought that North Korea is definitely like a good idea.

I think we should try to prank call North Korea.

Also, I would like to prank call Russia.

Now, we prank called Russia once before.

Maybe we could pass on that.

But I think that Iran would also be a good target.

There's a lot of English speakers in Iran.

I think we should try to prank call North Korea, Iran.

I'd say China also we could do.

What are two other countries that are like Venezuela?

We could try to prank call Venezuela.

And Cuba.

There we go.

Those are the five right there.

I say that we aim on the next show to get numbers in print called North Korea, Iran, Venezuela, Cuba, and China.

Good luck on making sure that people on the other end know English.

Well, there's always hotels.

The hotels always speak English.

And in Cuba, you can find people who speak English if you call a hotel.

Iran, we'll be able to find people who speak English.

Let's see.

China, we should be able to in the major cities.

He's like, well, we'll find a city with a Walmart.

We should prank call Walmart China and Walmart, or Walmart and China, vice versa.

Well, the Walmart there is pretty big.

I saw a documentary recently, a follow-up documentary.

MSNBC had made a documentary last, about a year and a half ago, about Walmart.

And they did a follow-up documentary that came out last month,

and they were just replaying it last weekend.

If you get a chance, look that up.

It might be on the YouTube machine that both of them are good documentaries about Walmart

and how Walmart has tried to change their image, you know, by they changed up their

logo.

It's like a blue sunflower star thing.

I don't know.

It's interesting.

Check it out.

So that's it.

That's the plan.

That's the idea.

And we got Vietnam.

Hollywood Vineyard says that there's a great North Korean movie called Chocolate.

Yeah, really?

You know what I'm saying?

Be careful.

There was a huge problem the last time two guys in Florida prank called Cuba.

Big fine from the FCC.

why why we get why you can't it's not illegal to call cuba i was talking i got a co-worker who was

uh he's old school he's like in his 50s late 50s early 60s no he's late 50s i think it was like 58

and he grew up in cuba and he came over like in the early let's say like the early 60s but

all of his family was in cuba like his mom is still in cuba she's still alive and he said he

remembered in the 80s and 90s when they'd call over to talk to her you know call over once a

week and they could hear on the other line the cuban like a cuban intelligence listening into

the conversation because they knew it was coming from the united states so they would listen in and

shit and he was in miami like the little havana areas where he moved to and there was a lot of

dissidents there a lot of uh expats and you all know my uh stance on some of those expatriates

from the cuban island and we'll not discuss that no no no need to be angry dc looks is radio dgs

doesn't make me prank Castro in 2004. I don't know about that. I know that, uh, Hugo Chavez

got pranked. Um, and the guy said he was, he was Fidel Castro. He called like, uh, the,

I don't know, like the presidential palace and got to the switchboard. And the guy's

like, yeah, he was imitating cash. I said, yeah, this is Fidel. I'm calling to speak

to, um, you know, I'm trying to call him to speak to, uh, Hugo Chavez. And she's like,

all right, I'll put you right through and pass it through. And the guy, and then Hugo

Hugo Chavez answers, and, I mean, I would never play it.

I know where the audio is.

I could find it easily, but you guys wouldn't understand that it's in Spanish.

To me, it's funny because I understand Spanish perfectly,

but they call Hugo Chavez a murderer and all this shit like that.

It's pretty interesting.

There you go.

Baz agrees it would be funny to call North Korea and talk shit to some commies.

Yeah, definitely.

I think we should call Russia again.

I'm sure Lonesome probably might have a record of,

I think we called some hotels in Russia,

And it was funny because I was doing the whole oral sex thing that I do when I call Japan.

And the Japanese women, they won't understand anything I'm saying until I say oral sex.

And they're like, excuse me?

You know?

And then the girls in Russia were doing the same thing.

They couldn't speak any lick of English until I mentioned, you know, that I was interested in oral sex with them.

And they would get, like, offended.

I don't know.

Oral sex is like a well-known, I guess, curse in the international vernacular.

Also, they used the recording of Chavez from that prank on Castro.

Okay, that's pretty funny.

Alright, cool.

So they prank called Castro back.

And they got fined for that?

We'll have to look into that.

Maybe we'll have to put these plants on hold then.

What would that one do?

Why would you get fined for prank calling an enemy of the state?

What would they do if that's it?

Oh, no.

Oh, there you prank call.

Did the Cuban government contact the United States government and order a trace?

Fucking whatever.

Okay, let's get pranking.

I'm going to call Vietnam.

What can I talk about in Vietnam?

I guess we could talk about the war.

We got through Vietnam, we got through this, we can give her this.

This is going to be Joe America again.

It's Binh Phuoc, Vietnam.

I have no idea.

It's in the Chan Tan District, Binh Phuoc, on National Highway 13.

Do we have to pay attention to call Vietnam?

I don't know.

Listen to these addresses.

is. Group 2, Hamlet

1, National Highway

13 in the

Chan Phan District

in Binh Phuoc, Vietnam. That's

a fucking address right there. And there's another

one here, actually. Oh, that's a different

address. This

other one here is

in Ho Chi Minh City. Ho Chi Minh City,

now, that was Saigon, right?

Wasn't it Saigon? No, no, no. Saigon was the capital

of the north. Ho Chi Minh City,

wasn't that the capital of the south?

i think right no no saigon was yeah ho chi minh city was saigon until the north invaded the south

after we pulled out correct and they renamed it after the guy who started like the whole vietnam

split who was a ho chi minh and named the city after him so saigon when you hear about saigon

not the dude who comes here every so often but the actual you know city during the war

i'm gonna be calling them okay cool i wonder how far away they're from the embassy i don't think

the american embassy is actually staffed there anymore didn't they like didn't they overrun it

at some point the north korea i'm in north vietnam's capital yes it is is it the is it

ho chi minh city capital of that no it's a city in the north i don't know what it is though i don't

i don't know hanoi hanoi that's what it is right well we'll have to find a number in hanoi all

right so let's play yes it is formerly saigon all right cool i am communicating with vietnam

you have a girlfriend vietnam erano can you see that gtalk i sent you there can i see that gtalk

you sent me there. No, I can't. Where's it at? In the chat. I'll check it in a second. I'm

putting in the other number for Vietnam. Is it Vietnam or Vietnam? I know my uncle was in the

war and he always called it Vietnam. And I think Vietnamese people say Vietnam. Why do I say

Vietnam? The French, of course, used to own Vietnam. They used to call it Indochina.

Indochina. The French. Yeah. The morning of the gesture, Matthew. Hello. Yeah. Yes,

He said, no, I would like to make a reservation.

Do you want to make a reservation?

Yes, for Indo-Chinese food.

Hello, woman.

No, Indo.

Okay, Indo-China.

I am calling Indo-China, am I not?

Ah, you called Indo-China.

Uh-huh, yes.

First moment, sir.

Yes, I am in Indo-China.

I am in the country of Indo-China.

Do you understand this?

Woman.

Woman!

Hello?

I command you to speak.

Yes, hello, sir?

I will make questions, and you will answer.

This is understood?

Yes.

Very well.

Put me down for two spaces, please.

Hello?

Yes, hello.

Hello, sir?

What information do you need?

You make the reservation for tonight or tomorrow?

Tonight.

How many persons, sir?

I need two spaces.

Two spaces.

Yes.

Now, spaces, you understand?

Two spaces.

It's for how many persons?

Two spaces.

I need two spaces.

Do you...

Oh, my God.

Just write it down.

Write it down and make it happen.

You understand?

Two spaces.

Do you need my name?

Sorry, sir.

My name's Nhi.

No, I don't care about your name.

Do you need my name?

Yes, I need your name.

Okay.

I'm Mr. Vagina Jones.

Can you spell your name?

V-A-G-I-N-A.

No, V-A-G-I-N-A.

G-I-N-A.

Yes.

Can you repeat that to me, please?

May I have your phone number?

It's 407-459-4534.

Can you tell me again?

407.

459.

RT.

12.

Yes.

Sir, your phone is not a mobile phone in Vietnam?

No, this is my telephone number that I use, my phone number.

I have satellite phone.

Do you have a phone in Vietnam, a mobile phone, a Sam Vina phone?

This is my phone.

This is a satellite phone.

It works in Vietnam.

I'm from the United States of America.

I'm an ambassador.

My name is Vagina Valente.

I'm an ambassador from the United States of America.

I need free food.

I will sit down, and I will eat, and my bodyguard will eat, and my son will eat, and we will eat for free.

Then I will have sexual relations with a woman from there.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay. Are you interested in citizenship? Would you like to become an American citizen?

I can make a reservation for you.

No, no, but I want to save you from Vietnam. I want to save you, you understand?

Like, I'll let you, we'll go everywhere, and you can spend all the money on clothes that you want and everything.

You can buy all the rights you want.

We can get married, and you'll be an American citizen. You want to do this?

I don't know.

I'm a movie star. I'm a movie person. I'm in movies.

You're a movie star?

Yes.

I'm American.

I'm handsome American.

I have blonde hair, blue eyes.

I look good.

I'm in shape.

I have lots of money and cars.

Do you have a car?

Yes, I, but I just have a motorbike.

What kind of car do you have?

I have just a motorbike, but not have a brand new American car.

Oh, you like, I have a, I can get you a BMW or Mercedes.

What do you want?

No, just motorbike, just two.

No, for you, I'll get you a car.

I want to get you a real car with air conditioning.

My phone?

No, no, yeah, what's your phone number?

Because you want to go on a date, and if we like each other, we'll have oral sex,

and then we'll get married, and I'll bring you to the United States of America.

You ever see that movie with, you know, the guy from Men in Black?

Remember the girl?

Yeah.

They bought a jewelry store together, and then he went crazy,

and he shot himself in the phone booth?

Crazy in the phone booth.

Yeah, he went crazy in the phone booth.

No.

So are you interested in becoming an American citizen or not?

I mean, I'm just calling around.

I want relations with women.

Sir, but can you speak slowly?

Sex.

You say it so fast.

Do you like it slow?

Do you like sex?

S-E-X.

Do you know what that is?

No, no, no.

No, you...

No, no, no, no, no.

Guess yes.

No, no, no.

I know what that is.

Oh, you like that, right?

You know what that is?

No, I don't like this.

You don't do that?

Sorry, sir?

You do? Yeah, you do. I know you do, right?

No, no, no, no, no.

You like to get spanked? You know what spanking is?

No, no, no, no.

Listen, do you know what a spank is? Listen, listen, listen.

I want to do that to you on your bottom. I'm going to spank you.

I don't want to spank the spanky.

Spanking? You don't know what spanking is?

Yes.

Okay, you take your hand and you hit yourself on your bottom really hard. Spank you.

Spanky.

Yeah, Spanky.

Can you spell the Spanky?

I checked the...

Do you have Google?

Computer.

Spanky.

Do you want me to check Spanking?

Yeah.

Can you open a website in the United States?

Does it work for you?

I don't know.

Can I give you a website to open?

My office cannot open the Internet.

No?

Yes.

Oh, it can't?

Go to the Internet.

Can you go there now?

Yes.

I cannot go to Internet.

You can?

Yes or no?

Yes.

They call my office.

Just Internet in the hotel.

Okay.

Can I give you the website?

When are you going to look it up?

Can I call you back now?

You can call.

Call his phone number.

Uh-huh.

What's the phone number?

Sir, but you have reservation for tonight.

You come here to eat.

Uh-huh.

Okay.

Do you want me to spell spanking or no?

No.

You don't want to know?

No.

All right.

Sir, are you sure you make the reservation for tonight?

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

I'm going to come see you.

I'm just coming for you.

What's your name again?

Ni Hao?

My name's Ni.

But, sir, you come here how many persons?

Just myself.

Me and myself only.

And you, me and you, two people, me and you are going to go together, me and you are going to eat.

I'm working and cannot go eat.

When are you not working?

Yeah, I'm working in the Chinese restaurant.

When are you done working? When is work over? No more work, when?

I'm working about 6 o'clock.

And then after 6, are you married? Do you have a husband?

I'm not yet married.

Oh, okay.

Are you sure you know the phone number in Vietnam?

Yeah, I'm in Vietnam right now.

I know, but you know the phone in Vietnam because you give me the phone, cannot call for you.

Oh yeah, dial the code 01144 and then the phone number.

Wait a moment, 0114438.

08

8

in the

phone number

yeah

you call me

you're gonna

call me

if you

not come

I will

call you

okay

what time

you come

at 6

6

6 o'clock

to see you

are you

shooting a

movie

yeah

I'm a movie

star yes

I'm gonna be

shooting a movie

I want to be

with you

I want a

Vietnam woman

yeah

I want

Vietnam woman

sex Vietnam woman I don't know how can for you maybe you look good yeah you got

a nice little thing I don't know how big are your how are your breasts like your

top how is it it's a boo cool is it good I know you know what I know you know I

I know you know.

Okay, bye, Mama-san.

Bye, see you tonight.

Okay.

Oh, my God, did you see that?

Guys, it ain't that hard, man.

I'm telling you, man, if I was young and in Vietnam, if I was 10 years younger and if it was 40 years ago.

Are you fighting the war, fighting the army?

I had all the pussy, man.

Wow.

That's kind of hot.

She's going to tell her I'm a movie star.

She's like, okay, yeah.

Oh, you're really a movie star?

Oh, she got all flirty.

That's cool.

That was Vietnam, everybody.

All right.

the fuck man i have no idea i don't know how long i was talking here it was kind of cool though

all right well cool i definitely think we should try calling north korea next

yeah that was worth it that was kind of cool high five was saying the lady of the manor

oh man bachi trying to get loud dude oh fuck you in the loud fucking loud always loud hang on let's

Let's see, Milkman, what's in the G-Talk?

Sent my ops in IRC, okay.

Oh, yes.

No, besides that, you're hot on the stream.

There we go.

That should be improved now.

Hey, guys, may I help you?

Hey, how you doing?

Ni hao, ma.

Hello.

Yeah, I'd like to make a reservation, please.

Okay.

Shut up.

For how many people?

Huh?

For how many people?

Two people, three spaces.

For two people?

But I need three spaces.

Two people, three spaces.

What do you mean by two people, three spaces?

I want space for three people, not four, three spaces, but only two people are going to come.

But you need to make the reservation for three spaces.

Okay.

So a table for three?

No, two people.

Okay.

But three spaces.

Okay.

What's that?

Are you being rude?

Huh?

Are you being rude?

I'm not being rude.

You're not being what?

You're not being rude.

What?

What'd you say?

Hello?

You said, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speak up.

Come on.

Good point.

Fucking speak up, right?

Shit. That was interesting.

I'm going to call her back.

Let me speak to the manager.

That didn't last long.

What the heck?

I'll call her again.

Yes, I need to make a complaint.

Yeah?

Yeah, there was a woman over there who said bad words to me on the phone

when I made an order, and she hung up the phone, and she made bad words.

Can you hold, please? Let me go to the back office, please.

Who is this?

This is Miguel.

Is Martinez there?

Who?

Martinez.

Martina?

Martinez.

We don't have Martinez.

What's your last name? Gomez? Lopez?

Your last name? Lopez? What is it? Gomez?

Oh, it's not Gonzalez or something like that?

Go to the back room and you're going to have a talk, boy.

Me and you are going to have a talk.

Go to the back room right now and we're going to have a talk. Serious talk.

This is Valente. Go back to the room now and prepare for the talk.

We're going to have a talk. You're going to go to the back room.

You're going to take the phone and we're going to have a talk.

You go back right now.

Let me go to the back office.

That's what I just said.

Hold on.

Yes?

Yes.

I need to make a complaint, please.

Yes.

First of all, what is your name?

Gomez?

Miguel.

Miguel Gonzalez?

Yes.

Miguel Gonzalez.

Is that with a Z or an S?

Z.

Z?

Like zebra?

Yes.

Okay.

And what is your function there?

What's your authority?

Manager.

Are you owner or manager?

Manager.

Who owns this?

I'm part of the family.

Is it a woman or a man that owns the business?

We're part of the family.

Is there a woman involved?

It's both, both, many women.

Oh, my God.

Is it your mother?

Yes.

What is this about?

I'm going to sue you.

That's what it's about.

What happened?

Because the woman said bad words to me.

What woman?

The woman who was talking to me on the phone, refused to take service, and didn't want to write me down for three spaces, and then was rude and hung up the phone.

I'm going to sue you, sir.

I'm going to sue you, personally you.

What are you talking about?

I called in, and the woman was rude to me, and I'm going to sue.

You want to talk to her?

I'm talking to you.

I have to talk to you.

Stupid.

Stupid, man.

Fuck that guy.

What happened to hear that man hang up on me?

Huh?

Excuse me?

Put that man back on the phone right now.

I command you.

Who's calling?

I was talking to a man there who went,

and he thinks he's all this, this, this, this, this, this.

And he hung up the phone.

Can I help you?

You tell me, Ojeda, what's his name, Miguel?

Can I help you?

Yes, you can transfer the call to a man, please, Miguel.

Like, he said bad words to me.

Fucking people.

Hello?

Listen here, what's your name?

Uh, George.

George, listen, I was talking to Gonzalez, and he hung up the phone.

He was like,

And some other woman was there like,

Like that, and what's the problem here?

That people calling in for service, and you people are like,

What is it?

Are you trying to say they don't speak English correctly?

No, because they're talking to me like,

Like that, so listen.

I don't know what that means, sir.

I don't know either.

Are they actually saying they'll use it?

And now you're doing it.

I guess I am.

We'll use...

What's that?

What are you talking about?

Who's going to put me down for the three spaces?

I don't understand.

I've talked to five different people at this point.

Put you down for what?

I'm sorry, sir, what?

Three spaces.

I said two people, three spaces.

God.

Jesus.

Hello?

Christ.

Three spaces.

Three spaces of what?

What are you...

Two people, three spaces.

Reservations.

What's the problem here?

One of reservations.

Is that what you're saying?

Oh, my God.

Yes.

Thank you.

The English speaker finally finds out what's the problem now.

Who is that guy in the back again now?

Is that that guy, Hector?

There was some guy I was talking to.

He said he had to go to the back office.

He was being rude.

He was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like that.

Stupid.

Disgusting, rude person.

Wow.

Let me tell you something.

I come in for these reservations.

You better not do anything to my food, or I'm going to sue you.

You understand?

Okay.

This is understood?

Are you okay, sir?

I want an apology from the woman who answered the phone and from the man who was rude to me.

I don't know if I can help you with that because they are not here, actually.

No, wait a minute.

Just less than two minutes ago, I was talking to a man who was in the back room.

I already sent them home, sir.

No, you go to the back room right now and put them on the phone.

Right now.

I can hold.

That's okay.

Thank you.

I can't help you.

No, please.

Can you please transfer me, ma'am?

I appreciate it.

Thank you.

I cannot do that.

Well, ma'am, I need to speak to whoever's in authority there.

I am the authority here.

I'm the owner of this restaurant.

No, ma'am.

What's your name, ma'am?

My name is George.

That's quite funny, miss.

So I want the name of the gentleman who was rude to me that you sent home.

I can't give that to you, sir.

You gave him five different names already.

I told him that my name is Valente.

I mean, apparently you sound like somebody that doesn't really care for a...

There he is.

Who's the man talking in the background?

Put him on.

It's okay.

Go ahead.

It's okay.

You're not...

I don't really appreciate the way you're talking to me and talking about my employees.

Well, ma'am, you're not in trouble.

You can put him on the phone.

It's okay.

No, I know I'm not in trouble.

I'm just telling you that I don't appreciate the way you're speaking to me and speaking about my employees.

I'm not telling you.

Well, you're not.

Sorry, I really can't help you.

They're not your employees.

You're not the manager there, so, you know.

I'd rather speak.

Oh, I'm not?

No.

And how do you know this?

Because you're a woman.

I'm a man.

I'm talking to you right now.

Ma'am, I've been.

Even if I wasn't a woman.

No, please, yes.

My sister's in this restaurant also.

Very effeminate.

See?

Even still.

Okay.

So you have a good night, sir.

You know what?

I want you to read the book of Leviticus in the Bible, okay?

Why don't you read the Bible, sir?

I've read the Bible back to back, from front to back, twice.

That's probably why there's something wrong with you.

Well, yeah, that's exactly why, you piece of shit.

What happened to this world?

Milkman has said they stopped reading the Bible in school.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, you see how it is?

This is heresy.

And whenever you call people,

stupid.

What the hell is wrong with the person?

I think she had a dick in her mouth or something.

Oh, man.

Wilson Lewis says he found a few numbers in North Korea,

But they're expensive for him to test

And they're 60 cents a minute

And they don't seem to be valid

Wow

Maybe we got a listener in North Korea

I'll send us a phone number

Yes, milkman

I have a special announcement

Oh boy

Okay

Breaking news

Yes, baby puppy cat has had 10 more poopers

Bringing the total up to 40 poopers

That woman is

Can you believe it?

That woman is going to kill those dogs

That female dog that she has

that she keeps breeding, that's horrible.

That ruins the bloodline.

Breeding is for a baby puppy cat.

She's an irresponsible breeder, is what I say, Milkman.

Yeah, but...

It's fucking true.

How long will it take for the local humane-sized children to raid her?

Yeah, that's what I'm waiting for.

Yeah.

You're going to raid her house.

Next day, Milkman, baby puppy cat's house.

You're going to hear this right here.

Search warrant.

Watch.

search for it you got too many fucking dogs your dog's vagina is the size of a human fist

all right guys enough of that i'm sorry that's not true that's that's all tuck that was tuck

segment right there thank you tuck good for you that was all tuck's idea the things i just said

he's the he writes uh he's one of our writers on the show tuck made a nice uh poster there

and i'll tell you what honestly tuck i don't know um i i liked it better when it was just black and

and white i would wear the shirt in black and white but when you added the color looked a little

off it looked really looks really good in the black and white i would wear that shirt it was

a black and white yeah it looks badass in black and white i thought it looks good still though

it looks good but look to me it looks sharper black and white it had that kind of they say

that's what they're they probably they probably like i didn't want color yeah

So are you going to this event?

Are you going to get to meet Cypress Hill?

No.

It's in like, not this week, in the next weekend.

That sucks.

Yeah, I heard.

Somewhere in California.

One of the local radio guys said a few years after the fact that Cypress Hill was playing at the House of Blues.

No, bullshit, at the Hard Rock here in Orlando.

And he was interviewing him backstage, live on the air.

and he rolled a joint with one hand

while he was doing the interview.

I was like, wow, that's fucking talent.

I was talking about Be Real.

It can roll a joint with one hand.

Yeah, that's fucking talent.

Imagine rolling a joint with one hand.

I don't understand.

Pretty interesting.

I can't roll joints with like five hands.

It's pretty, but you could roll one.

Dude.

That's just practice.

Yeah.

May not be the prettiest thing, though.

Yeah, you can get a whole fist up Milkman's ass

these days, man.

Fucking right up there.

Drying, oh, man.

man. Alright, let's call Vic

Pino Fast Food, ladies and gents.

The poster is for

guys that are going to have a booth

up there. Oh.

A booth.

I dig.

I like booths.

So we're going to find some and

Last week I was not doing a show, but

I was in this place. There was a booth and it had a hole in it.

I stuck my penis in it.

More about that when we come back.

Hello, is this Pino's?

What?

We put pineapple on everything.

What's that about?

Huh?

What's that?

What was that?

What did you just do on the phone?

Did you just hit a button on the phone?

Hello?

Hello, is this Vicky's?

Bitch.

I hate him so much.

Baz says...

You hit the emergency security button.

Baz, who's married to one of them, asked for Dinaguan.

It's a Filipino pork stew.

They'd probably take a piss in it.

That's not because you're Filipino, though, Paz.

Hello, please.

Yeah, hi.

Do you have any vinaguan?

Yes, we do.

All right, put me down for one space of vinaguan, please.

Small, medium, large?

Yeah, whatever.

I just need one spaces of it.

What time are you going to pick it up?

Uh-huh.

Can I pick it up today?

Yeah, what time?

Yeah, whenever.

Like, what now?

How soon can it be ready?

It's ready.

Okay, I need some naan bread, please.

What is it?

Naan bread, General Tso chicken.

We don't have soy chicken.

No beer.

Do you have General Tso's?

No.

Do they have balut there?

No, we don't.

Lumpia.

Lumpia?

Lumpia, we have.

Yeah?

How many pieces coming in?

It's a dollar each.

Okay.

I want three of those.

And the stew, the diniguan, how many pieces is that?

We just put it in a small, medium, or large container.

Yeah, but how many pieces are in a large?

We don't count it by pieces.

I don't understand.

It's a small, medium, or large, right?

Yes.

How many pieces are in it, though?

We cut the meat into small cubes.

Uh-huh.

Is this a crank off?

No, how many pieces are in it?

It's pork, right?

Is this a crank off?

I'm sorry, Baz.

I mean...

Baz, it's not that, you know, I'm not anti-Filipino.

As a matter of fact, Baz, I'm going to let you know,

my mom is friends with a Filipino lady at the Catholic Church,

and she has been invited to go out for Filipino lunch on Sunday,

and i have been invited to join along yeah and guess who doesn't get to go milkman doesn't get

to go you know why because she's what do you want baz was it what is it you call me baz

i hung up on baz baz was calling on the google line you two can call him a google line if you

get a chance let's try to call jonathan it did baz is calling it let me try to call jonathan here

yeah oh yeah well it lights up i don't let it ring but it lights up in front of me jonathan

Jonathan, bitch.

Remember we used to have to call Milkman in every show like this?

Hi, Jonathan.

Hey, Carlito, what's up?

Nothing, doing a show.

What are you doing?

I'm just relaxing.

Oh, yeah?

How do you relax?

I don't want to know.

You know what?

Don't answer that.

Look.

What's going on in Syndicate tonight?

Who's on instead of me?

It's some new person.

Is he white?

Yeah.

Fuck that guy.

Is he funny?

What's he doing?

Is he prank calling?

No, he's just sitting there bullshitting with people.

Oh, nice.

That's good.

Good.

Well, I'm glad you found a replacement for me.

I appreciate it.

You tell Dino, really, thank you for all the good times and everything.

And for stabbing me in the back.

You let him know I said that.

Yeah, it wasn't me that replaced you.

I know, I know.

There was trouble.

Does that guy have a phone number I can call and get on the show?

I'm going to call him.

Let me see if I can get it for you.

Yeah, tell him.

Or give him my phone number.

You know my phone?

I'll give you a phone number.

Tell him to call me.

You understand?

All right.

Do you keep tapping on the mic?

Who's doing that?

Milkman, is that you?

you i'm not glad i swear to god he's a he's a retarded penguin sometimes that's a cheese boy

for you i hear you all right i'm gonna send you a phone number and and call me back when you find

something out okay okay all right bye what's the matter milk when you can't hear me when i'm on

google talk maybe that's what the problem is i couldn't hear anything i thought i got muted or

something i can't hear it and no echo anymore i don't know i guess when i use google talk you

can't hear it it takes over the codec i'll just sit there and jesus christ you're like

I took the microphone off his hand.

I was just banging it on the table.

Why don't this work?

He's going to start slapping his computer around.

Got some more numbers here from Lonesome Loser.

Let's take a look-see.

We are the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, North Korea.

All right.

In Singapore.

Close enough.

We'll take it.

All right, everybody.

Breaking news.

Lonesome Loser has confirmed a number.

for the of the democratic people's republic of korea also known as north korea how is it the

democratic people's republic of korea when they're not a democracy why do they say that stupid they're

in singapore i'm gonna give them a call here everybody this one goes out to uh so this goes

out to my grandfather who was in the vietnam war i wonder how much this is gonna cost i'm gonna be

careful this could be the end of old carlito here i'll make the wrong move singapore isn't that the

place they came people at they became that white guy the stupid north korea yeah you're a stupid

asshole hey why do you guys got to be such fucking assholes for huh you guys are a bunch of jerks

you north koreans this is valente i am from the united states of america is this understood

we are i want you to understand i want you to understand that we are a superior nation and

when we order you to do things you will do as you are told this is understood north korea

I want you to write down

That Jack Valenti called in

Representing the people

Of the United States of America

And that we think

That you are assholes

That's what the problem is

You're a bunch of assholes

And the leader of your country

Looks like an overweight Asian Elvis

Asian

Elvis Presley, yes

Like a fat Elvis Presley from Japan

That's what Kim Jong, whatever his name is

That's what he looks like

Like, fat man, Elvis fat man.

So what do you want?

We want you to listen to what the United States orders you to do

and do exactly what we tell you and not question us anymore

because we are a superior race and a superior nation.

How do you plead, guilty or not guilty?

So now you are calling from China or where?

No, no, no, I am American.

American?

Yeah.

You are calling now from the United States?

No, I just, I don't like North Korea.

I think you guys are assholes and I think you're causing a lot of trouble

And I think you should listen to what the United States says that you need to do because we're superior people

That you're inferior to us and that we're superior. You know the email address. Do I know the email address?

Asshole asshole at North Korea that NK key. Yes BP at what?

You don't have internet there is that what the problem is because it's North Korea, right? Yeah, I understand

Hey, man, do you want to get married to me and you can become an American citizen? Would you be into that?

No, no, no, no, no.

You don't like men?

No, but we can get married, and then you can become an American citizen, right?

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Is it because I'm a dude?

It's because I'm Puerto Rican, isn't it?

No.

No?

Have you ever been with a Hispanic man before?

No, if you ever ask the email.

Yeah, and you'll never get it because your internet doesn't work there because it's North Korea.

Hey, listen, man, so are there any black people in North Korea?

No, no, no, no.

I don't think so.

No?

No. If you were in an elevator and then it stopped and then a black guy came in, would you get nervous?

I don't think so.

You're not afraid of blacks?

Yeah. Anyhow, send an email about the problem.

Well, no. Just write down that I think... Can you write down asshole? Do you know how to spell that?

No, no, no.

You want to write it down?

Listen. Listen to me. I command you to stop developing weapons of mass destruction. This is understood.

Yeah.

I command you to surrender. I command you to give it up. Just give it up. Okay, guys?

Guys, just give it the fuck up.

Stop being assholes.

Yeah.

Who do you think you are going around like you own the fucking world?

This is America.

We are America.

If anybody owns the world, it's going to be us.

You understand?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, all right, shut up.

Hang up the phone, stupid.

Okay.

All right, stupid.

Bye.

Yeah.

That's you.

Finally hung up the fucking phone.

Jesus.

That was cool.

North Korean band.

Hey, we got the number from Jonathan

for the guy who replaced Matt Seneca.

Where the fuck is Da Dead, anyway?

I don't know.

Maybe he is Da Dead.

All right.

Where'd they find him?

Gary.

Gary's on.

Gary the retard is on?

What the fuck?

Some dude named Gary is on.

I'll have to find out who it is.

Gary, take over your show, dude.

Wow, man.

That's pretty sad.

They replaced me with a retard.

What does that say about me?

Wow.

What does it say about Hizikid?

This is the real question.

No, no.

That's me.

Obviously, of course.

I mean, you put Gary the Retard up against me.

Obvious choice.

No questions there.

I'm trying to find that episode that I edited this week.

I was going to mention something that I heard on there that made me laugh my ass off,

but I can't remember what it is for the life of me.

Give me a second, folks.

I'm going to play a crap app.

what's that he is our name well then he's he's not the dead he's the alive

yeah good jonathan's calling in jonathan reporter

yo uh did you get that number yes yes i did get the number you sent me thank you very much

who is that who's gary is that gary the retard that took over for me no it's gary garver i think

gary garver whatever his last name is he's some weirdo gary garver from the howard stern show

Yes.

Oh, that dude?

Yeah, he interviews people.

I was actually listening to some of his interviews today.

He was interviewing, they replayed him at the Star Wars convention,

interviewing some guy who was dressed up like Jango Fett or something.

Okay.

Jonathan, thank you very much.

You're a good friend of the Madhouse Show.

We'll never forget you, okay?

So how are your fans and listeners real quick?

I love you all, everybody, and I hope you all have a good weekend.

And I'm going to be listening to the calls.

All right, brother.

Thank you, sir.

All right, later.

All right, cool.

Cool. Jonathan doing the right thing, telling us exactly what happened when it happened.

Thank you, sir.

Gary Garver.

How'd they get a hold of Gary Garver?

Jesus.

Can you guys hear me now? Milkman Tug, do you hear music?

Yeah, yeah, I heard it.

All right, cool.

I've got to take a break.

Yeah, just a minute.

I'm back.

Hello, sir.

Shut up.

Am I calling the Soviet Union?

No English.

Where's Americans at?

Speaking America now.

Hello, stupid.

No, no.

You stupid.

stupid it's the soviet union we we called one and then there was it was like a hilton i remember i

have to look for it that was pretty funny i mean i mean just to call and ask if the soviet union

is pretty pretty wrong i think it's you should be respectful if a country decides to change its

name back to something else and you call back i mean it'd be like calling india and saying yeah

it's just uh i don't know the british empire or something i don't know who cares fucking indians

he didn't go to hell well we lost Hollywood Vanya I'm eating an ice cream thing now Hollywood Vanya

was gonna try to call in tonight but his pain meds kicked in yeah I texted him when I noticed

it was too late though all right so Sergei Shidov confused foreign sounding woman answered

she is 50 okay let's do it where does she live found a new new fantastic all right what's her

her name is shit off sergey sergey shit off okay pod that over to the other one here to the other

computer machine bitch she doesn't like to play anymore man she's got some other dude that answers

the phone we called her in a month yeah because the last time we called her like some dude is

like no fuck you and he just hangs up the phone he didn't say fuck you just hangs up the phone

by now she forgot about it yeah she doesn't forget that's my girl woman never forget man

man hey what's going on woman hello hello woman okay what's wrong with saying woman she's foreign

they're into like they like being called woman i thought at least i thought i don't know what the

hell was the deal there yeah i heard some audio um one of the one of the wrestlers was talking

about the iron sheik and made me kind of mad because he accused the iron sheik of having

molested a kid and i know that's bullshit i don't buy that for a minute like i don't know the iron

sheik personally but you can kiss my ass you think the iron sheik ever molested anybody that

That guy has, like, a daughter and a son, and he's as anti-gay as it gets.

I mean, Iron Sheik might have done a lot of drinking, a lot of drugs,

have been a general asshole, crazy fuck,

but I don't think, you know, Iron Sheik was a faggot, as you would say.

I would believe he would have sex with a Jew.

Maybe that's what he was hearing.

Speaking of Jews, how come we haven't heard from Lego yet?

I don't know. He's in the chat room still.

I'm thinking about the bed.

Yeah?

Yeah.

The phone was ringing.

I don't know if it was him or the other guy or Hollywood.

what i was trying to call in at the beginning of the show but i didn't get a chance to grab it in

time all right we got another another we got a hotel and casino in moscow should these guys

really be messing with casinos that he was doing tim's ass that's awesome man i wish um i bet you

let me have a have a stab at her if i was up there that'd be hot oh yeah

put on video man no fuck that what so you can watch it you pervert

Hey, is this the Soviet Union?

Is this the Soviet Union?

No, but the Soviet Union, right?

What's the fucking deal? Come on.

What's the big deal if I call the Soviet Union?

I'm going to call and complain about the Soviet lady who hung up on me.

Hey, I just called some Soviet lady who hung up on me.

Who am I speaking with?

Who is this?

I command you to tell me who you are.

Night Manager Nikolai.

Oh, yeah, Nikolai?

Yes.

Is this the Soviet Union?

Smith.

When did that happen?

1999.

No, it happened in 1992, right?

You don't even know your history, stupid.

You know why it's not the Soviet Union anymore?

What do you need, sir?

I want to tell you that I'm from the United States and that we're superior

and we kicked your ass in the Cold War and that's why you people are now Russian.

I can't speak to you anymore.

Goodbye.

You're an asshole.

Loser.

I can't speak to you anymore.

I don't speak to you anymore.

I need to go drink vodka.

Oh, man.

Nunu said to say Stalin was a homosexual.

I have to do that.

All right, we're calling back.

Nunu says it was 1991.

Well, it was 91 in the UK, but it was 92.

We're in a different time zone, Nunu.

Duh.

It was 91, though.

Hey, Joseph Stalin was a homosexual.

You know that?

He molested a boy.

It's true.

I read that, too.

It's in a book.

He was an old man's father.

brother him and iron sheik melissa the boy wants backstage at a wrestling event in russia i bet

you anything they did all right there we go that's the soviet union you have no proof of it the

country formerly known as the soviet union i have no proof of it yeah i do you're rich

i say that we um they embalm that guy that stalin guy no who they embalm lenin i said

they should extract lenin's dna and see if any of the dna in it matches the uh homosexual um dna

the homosexual genes the receptors and if he is homosexual there's proof right there that

stalin was gay also did london and stalin did london and stalin ever know each other

did it ever happen they never meet they probably hooked up yeah i think so i think he was like the

vice the vice admiral there was a article once about uh abraham lincoln who apparently might

have been a homosexual they said he shared his bed on several occasions while he was in a white

in the white house with a close friend of his from when he was in his 20s and apparently

That's why he kept his bed in the White House.

But that's just more like the gay agenda, trying to just pull any kind of straw they can to link it for their cause.

Oh, really? So Lincoln was a gay now?

And that behooves a question.

If Bush slept in his bed.

Yeah, exactly, and wanked it.

If Martin Luther King were still alive, do you think he would support the homosexuals because they should be allowed to have equal rights?

or do you think he'd be Christian and be anti-gay?

Good question, right?

Who knows?

He'd be anti-gay.

Most blacks are, dude.

Yeah, they are very anti-gay.

Well, that's what the political polls say, so.

Yeah, I'm not trying to talk bad about black people.

I'm just saying the African-American culture is not as accepting as perhaps the Caucasian.

They're more Christian.

Well, they hold on to those older values and they just, I don't know,

know they get they just get creeped out and and the majority of the african-americans you know

they're they're they're hostile not that like all of america is so accepting of the gay people but

in african-american culture especially and i mean i've heard that several times i've seen

almost empathetic though no yeah exactly speaking

Hey, speaking of which.

Yeah.

Yeah, take the link that I sent you.

You sent the link?

Tuck, what link is this?

Okay, what's the link about?

This is a lot of reading.

Can you give me a Cliff Notes version?

Because I can't see.

I'm trying to see.

What happened in this link?

He's bashing you because we're not as popular as him.

Let's see.

Hang on.

make no mistake i'm not dissing anyone whatsoever for lack of popularity i'm merely crowing about

our own popularity against people who've been known to talk evil shit about us in the past

okay and i fully realize that these numbers may change on a daily basis so don't bother coming

back to me in three years to whine that so-and-so finally beat me i don't think this these talent

hacks ever will beat me in the caps at least not until i'm already dead for a few years as posted

This was dated October 13, 2009.

KDK Prank Calls, 2014, 702, blackout.com, 822,883.

Carlitos manhouse, 6,917,130 cents.

That's right, Carlitos, the backstabbing hack is far more than 10 times less popular than we are.

I'm not good with math.

Isn't Alexa like bullshit, though?

I read a long time ago that Alexa ratings aren't even taken seriously.

They haven't been taken seriously since 1999.

or something they're like really september 10th numbers from what i understand alexa ratings are

like not even really like i i think honestly it stopped being like a good barometer of website

popularity since like 2002 maybe 2003 i don't know where the hell did you see that some post

in kdk i guess this is kdk's blog or something what is this this is forms he has forms i don't

know i don't see it send that talk send to the milkman no this is what we're talking about

How embarrassing for such a homophobic cunt as Carlito.

Why does he always say I'm homophobic?

I don't understand that guy.

That guy is just grasping at straws and throwing rocks.

It's so weird for a cunt as Carlito to try so hard and yet feel so bad,

especially against such a faggot as me.

I had no idea they were so unpopular.

same with like up maybe haps 1950s anti-gay bullshit there's what i don't get it you heard

about his stunt where he told everybody he had anal cancer a while back and told everybody was

dead well he found the cure for cancer is gay sex the number the numbers are taken from alexa.com

which is pretty much the nelson ratings when it comes to websites dude i'm not gonna deny that

your website isn't more popular because you have like tons of prank calls from like whenever like

like forever, and wasn't he like the depositor?

Soundboards and all that bullshit.

Yeah, like he's been a depositor for soundboards forever.

I've never done that.

I've just done my show.

I haven't gone out pimping every single, any prank call you can find

and putting it on my website.

I think he still hosts us.

As a matter of fact, the only reason KDK's website is so popular

is because he has Carlito Prank Calls on there, and that's obvious, so duh.

Of course, and I think it's good.

I think that's a testament right there of, yeah, it's because we're on there.

So obviously it's awesome.

It's not good for renal cancer anyway.

He hates it so much.

Why doesn't he take our manhouse prank calls off of his website?

There's like a shine award and things like that.

Yeah.

Honestly, I don't care that my website isn't number 214,702.

I don't know.

Is that in the world?

Is this website really the 214,000th most popular website in the world?

Because I really doubt that.

The thing about that, it would seem to me like he would have a whole lot of people listening to his show

and shit out of a case.

I know I get a lot more podcast subscribers than KDK ever has.

I know I get just as many live listeners as Key does.

I get the same live listeners.

His live listeners are like the same listeners that we get on our show.

There's no competition.

I don't understand what the competition is.

I'm not concerned with him whatsoever.

Ten times less.

I mean, come on.

You cannot do math.

It's called one-tenth.

No, I don't care.

It's silly.

really i want to look that up i want to look up something some bug is up his ass about us

because isn't alexa just like the numbers that come from people will have like some spam like

some virus where that gets installed when you do like search bars or something double click yeah

it's like some double click shit it's no one even takes it seriously let's see once this

alexa is a subsidiary company of amazon.com that is known for its toolbar and website once

Once installed, the toolbar collects data on browsing behavior, which is transmitted to the website where it is stored and analyzed and is the basis for the company's web traffic reporting.

So basically, anybody who's contributing their votes to Alexa is probably an idiot douche that doesn't know that they're installing fucking bloatware in their web browser.

Yeah, dude, that's spyware.

It is, it's spyware.

It's phoning home.

It's telling you where you're fucking browsing to.

Yeez.

Accuracy.

Alexa ranks sites based on tracking information of users of its own Alexa toolbar, blah, blah, blah.

There is some controversy over how representative Alexa's user base is of typical Internet behavior.

If Alexa's user base is a fair statistical sample of the Internet user population, Alexa's rating should be quite accurate.

In reality, not much is known about the sample and possible sample biases.

Alexa itself notes several examples.

A known source of bias is the self-selecting, opt-in nature of Alexa traffic tracking software installation.

But the significance of the bias, blah, blah, and oh my God, my eyes just went crossed.

Many users report dramatic shifts in their Alexa ratings.

Alexa confirmed this later in the day with an announcement that they had released a new rating system on April 16, 2008.

Claiming they now take into account more data associated sources beyond Alexa, blah, blah, blah.

I don't get it.

I don't care.

The Alexa toolbar is regarded by many vendors such as Symantec and McAfee as spyware.

Symantec classifies the toolbar as trackware.

McAfee classifies it as adware, a potentially unwanted program.

McAfee's site advisor rates the Alexa website as yellow with the following warning.

Quote, in our test, we found downloads on the site that some people consider adware, spyware, or other potentially unwanted programs.

So there you go.

So apparently your ratings are coming from people who have adware and spyware installed on their computers.

They're that dumb.

They have zombie machines that sit in there with some toolbar.

I'll advocate spyware readings and say CoChat is the number one site in the world.

Well, I'm not the same type of website that KDK is.

I'm not a prank call website, Laura.

I'm the repository of prank calls.

It's just Carlito and ManHouse PrankCalls.

It's just a show.

It's our show and our PrankCalls and our podcast.

That's about it.

Okay.

Moving right along.

Thank you for sharing that, Tuck.

You did the right thing.

Thank you, sir.

What's that little clip that you got there?

What's that little clip?

I got a clip.

Thank all the people, all the backstabbing douches of KDK's fans in the chat room that gave it to me.

Yeah, thank you, backstabbers.

You guys are evil.

Don't forget, KDK hates you.

I don't hate you because you listen to KDK.

I don't hate you because I don't care.

You can listen to wherever the fuck you want.

I don't give a shit.

All right.

Thanks, Towers.

He's a family fan, and he's talked for FST and gone over there, too.

I try to listen.

I rarely, like, I think, like, a month ago, I was sitting around.

I was like, let me see what old KDK's got going on.

And he came on, and it was okay, and I got distracted playing a game or something.

I don't know.

It was like in the background.

I wasn't even listening to it.

What can you do?

Boy, you did it on there more times than me, then.

When the guy's on, he's on, I guess.

Whatever.

We wasted way too much time on this already.

Let me see if you're clear.

You're a backstabber.

As a matter of fact, you're banned.

Don't come back.

Backstabbing douche.

Negative little bitch, as KDK would say.

Every year.

That's right.

He doesn't agree with the gay agenda.

He's going to get banned from the chat room.

Hi.

All right, we're calling Godfrey Birch.

He lives in England.

We had fun.

Tonight?

I got to hit the show soon.

It's getting late.

Didn't get a lot of prank calls in tonight.

Just moved slow.

Come here, my man.

Hey, Birch.

How you doing, big girl?

Hello?

Yes, hi, man.

Speak with Godfrey, please.

Pardon?

I want to speak to Godfrey.

He called over here and made a voicemail on the phone.

He was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Man, that guy Godfrey. Put him on the phone.

There's no one here, I'm sorry.

This is the Birch residence.

Godfrey's not here.

Huh?

Godfrey's not here.

Where's he at? In heaven or hell?

Who's speaking, please?

This is Valente from the United States of America.

I need you to take all your doors off your hinges and put them at a 60-degree angle.

I'm sorry, you must have got the wrong number.

No, you need to take your doors off the hinges and put them at a 60-degree angle.

Why?

Well, to shelter yourself from the radioactive fallout.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Mm-hmm.

I'm sorry.

Fallout looks like sand that can be carried by the wind.

Sorry.

Goodbye.

It will penetrate you, Ms. Bitch.

Birch.

I'm sorry, Birch.

I think Granny might actually like that one.

Nina's saying, call the UK, tell people the Queen Mother is visiting town next week,

and they need to make their house look semi-respectable.

God, I can't talk tonight.

Semi-respectable.

Ready for the visit.

Do it next week.

The Queen Mother's coming.

The Queen Mother who died in 2002?

That one's just coming back.

The Queen Mother died.

On Halloween, we should call people as the Queen Mother.

Like the Queen Mother's ghost coming back to haunt them.

That's what we should do.

Oh, there's the Queen Mother.

I don't even know how to do it.

I've got to work on the voice.

You know who could do it is Hollywood.

I bet you could do a good Queen Mother ghost.

And Al Sharp then stuck it to that big fat fuck.

and he wanted to buy a part of the Rams, was it, or something?

Yeah.

Ain't happening now.

I like how Al Sharpton is saying, oh, he's a racist.

He can't own a part of a football team.

I said, no, Al Sharpton isn't a racist guy either.

They're all racist.

Absolutely not.

No, not Al.

I don't mind him.

I mean, he's okay.

I mean, he supports Puerto Ricans a lot.

He's gone to Puerto Rico.

He actually got arrested in Puerto Rico for protesting the Navy base there in Vieques.

He walked on Navy property in the middle of a naval bombing exercise in a demonstration to get them kicked out, which is really a bad idea because, dude, they had a naval bombing base on the island of Yekes, which is in the middle of nowhere off of Puerto Rico.

The Navy has been there since before World War II.

They used it for training to drop bombs on beaches and land invasions for marine amphibious invasions and all fucking shit.

Part of the reason why we need to have training places is it's the kind of place that can't be duplicated anywhere

and that the United States has any military control or jurisdiction.

They don't have the ability to create a scenario where they can test these type of maneuvers and bombing raids and stuff like that.

So the Puerto Ricans got a hair up their ass and they said, well, we want the base closed and close the base and close the base.

So the United States said, okay, sure, we'll close that base.

And we're also going to close this other one in Puerto Rico.

And this Air Force Station closed.

And, oh, yeah, that naval base over here closed.

And this other Marine base closed.

Bye, see you.

So there are no military installations left in Puerto Rico now.

And that's what Bush did.

Bush is an asshole.

He's like, okay, fine.

You want us to take this bombing range off?

No problem.

Well, they pulled every single military base out of Puerto Rico.

And, I mean, if you think about it, what else?

They closed Roosevelt Roads too

They closed Roosevelt Roads, yeah

So a lot of jobs left

In an already sour economy in Puerto Rico

Already hard to find jobs in Puerto Rico as it is

And they got rid of a bunch of

Americans who were living there

Yes, Puerto Ricans are Americans

I'm saying a bunch of

People from the states

That were over there spending money

White people

They kicked the hunkies out

And blacks, there was a lot of blacks

There were a lot of blacks there too

i'll tell you what i had fun um i had my uh when i was a teenager my uh my cousin my my older

cousin she uh she was married she got married to a guy who was in the army whenever i went to i

will go to puerto rico every army yeah i will go to puerto rico in the summer every year and all

the time uh he would take me out to the army base to the air force exchange and we'd fucking buy

shit and they had like an arcade there and it was only like i think you just paid to get in and they

will let you play all you want it for free and stuff like that it was pretty cool so you know

we get to go to the you know he'd go he'd go shopping he'd buy cheap alcohol and fucking

cigarettes and porno not porno but you could you could buy like they had like porno mags and stuff

there he would buy like cheap alcohol and stuff like that and then we hang out we eat there they

They had a pizza hut there, and then we'd go to the arcade and play free games for, like, you know, two hours and shit.

It was pretty cool.

It was a pretty cool dude.

I remember him.

His name was Jimmy.

All right, cool.

That's my story.

Cheap, free arcade games at the Air Force Exchange in Puerto Rico.

We got another hotel in Russia, guys.

We'll call them, too.

Let's call Gerard in England.

We're talking bullshit.

Blah, blah, blah.

Maven's, like, white people's everywhere.

I know, right, Maven?

God.

Smelling potatoes.

Hello?

none of that from then there none of that i'm gonna call wilford instead let's see this one

picks up gotta start wrapping up the show here ladies you know the funny thing what started the

whole nasty mess where kdk considered that i was a homophobic guy was the one time i was doing a

show and and i think i referred to the people in the chat room i think i said kdk and and and the

rest of the ladies in the chat room as into you guys the listeners and he got all up in a tizzy

and upset i'm like really you get you're getting upset because i said on the air you know i made

mention to kdk and the rest of the ladies in the chat room so basically i put down everybody who

was in a chat room calling them a woman and he took offense because i mentioned him aren't you

a prank caller man like fucking seriously like i don't care like he come come on the air call me

spick boy and stuff i'm like oh whatever i mean i'm a prank caller it's not like i'm out here

you know doing politic talks or something i gotta be getting get all upset i don't know

You're a prank caller.

Why are you getting upset?

Because I called you, you know, me and said that you're a gay, that you're a faggot, faggot

gay.

As far as I remember, I never came out back then and would call KDK a faggot.

I would say, hey, everybody, it's Madhouse Radio tonight, and KDK is a faggot.

Thank you.

Good night.

All right, cool.

Let's get out of here.

That was a show.

Jeez.

Anyway, here's another UK fucker.

I'm a biggest fan.

I was talking to Pedge a few weeks ago.

I said, KDK called him crying for no reason one night.

No way, gay crying on air?

No, no, no, just I called him, like, in the middle of the day.

Hello?

Go away.

Fuck you.

Answer my questions.

Listen to me, boy.

Well, sir, I'm sorry I said a bad word.

Can't get anything.

Go away.

Sounds like fucking Domo.

What was I talking about?

What did KDK do?

He did something gay, probably.

Probably something gay.

He called Paige crying.

Yeah, that was it.

Yeah, I was talking to Paige.

I was like, hey, Paige, what's up, man?

Like, I talked to him once in a while.

and he was like yeah dude and i told hey you hear katie has cancer or something he's like really

he's like yeah he called me like he called me like two weeks ago or something and he was crying

about something and he was drunk off his ass and i didn't know what he was talking about i'm trying

to find a good background song here i don't like that one i don't like that one played that already

i don't like that one i don't like that one i like this one okay alan i already called him

All right.

Hotel Lux.

Oh, it's in the Ukraine.

Here we go.

The Ukraine, everybody.

He says to call the Ukrainians Soviets or Russians.

Like a good idea.

I dig that.

Stalin was a homosexual.

He probably was.

He looks like a pervert gay.

Almost a fag.

Well, then, you know.

More ammo against me.

Ten cents to the Ukraine.

What's up with that, huh?

It's only two cents to Russia.

It's not fair.

It should be all the same rate because it's the Soviet Union.

I know.

Hey, all you chicken shit.

How you doing?

Yeah, I'm okay, and you?

I'm good, asshole.

Is this the Soviet Union?

Excuse me?

Is this the Soviet Union?

Yeah, yeah, I know.

Yeah, you're in the Soviet Union, right?

No, no, it's not Soviet Union.

It's Ukraine.

Yeah, but you're Russian, right?

No, we are Ukraine.

But anyway...

No, wait a minute now.

Hang on, asshole.

Listen, you shit.

It says in my book here that this used to be the Soviet Union, right?

Yeah, right.

So then you're Russian.

This is one country of Soviet Union.

Yes, because you're Russians.

Because Soviets are Russians.

That's what I learned in school.

Cool. They said that all the Russians are bad.

They said the Soviet Union, the USSR are number one, they're bad.

Number two, they have no God.

And number three, that they're Russians.

Okay, what?

Why don't you believe in God?

I told you.

My teacher?

You are just a teacher.

No, but this is in 1985.

No.

And Ronald Reagan said that we're going to kill you, but you were bad people.

Yeah, I don't believe.

Evildoers.

I can't believe it.

Yeah, your people are chicken.

Why didn't you ever want to go to war with us?

Why were you so chicken?

Hey, the Ukraine had a lot of nuclear missiles in it, right?

Right?

It's too bad that we didn't go to war because you probably wouldn't be around right now.

I would be here still because we would have won.

Nuclear war, we would have survived.

We would have destroyed you.

You're lucky that Ronald Reagan was a man of God, that he didn't want to do a first strike.

You know that, right?

Because you wouldn't even be here right now.

We would have wiped the floor with you Russians.

All of you Russians will be our slaves or dead, and we are the superior nation.

Do you understand?

It is your position.

No, it's a fact.

It's a stronger position.

It's a fact.

You know, it's a stronger position.

If you see the Russians, the Slovenic people, small power of people,

your country based on one, want to create one nation.

It's wrong.

Wait a minute.

It's wrong for people from many different places to get together to make one nation.

No, it's a good.

No.

It's a good, it's a good, yeah, it's a good.

Yeah.

But people, but it's not true.

They are.

No, that's what they told me in church and in school.

And then Ronald Reagan was on the TV once a week.

He had a fireside chat.

And he would tell all the kids, he said, kids, remember, if you see a Russian, you report them.

And that you can fight them and hit them hard.

And the Ukrainians even worse.

Ukraine even worse?

He said the Ukrainian Russians.

Okay, okay, I can give you one.

I have a head of cheese and a basket.

If the priest...

Back in 1985, it's not like that.

Because if, you know, if the priest is not...

Okay.

He can love God in his heart.

Well, listen, but you Russians...

God is only forever.

Well, you Russians kicked out all the priests

and that you didn't want church, no church,

no religion at all in the country, right?

Okay, have you ever been in Russia or Ukraine?

No, but I...

No, never, right?

Please, come to Russia, come to Ukraine, see how many churches we have, how many...

Now, but before, but 20 years ago, how many churches back then, how many open churches were there?

Where was God then, huh?

Where was your God then?

Go and read the history of Slovenia.

I know, I read that there was a big church in Moscow, and they blew it up, and they made a pool instead.

and then they made the church again now because you what is your name what is your name valente

valente yes i don't want to offend you and i want to be an enemy to please it's true you know

it's not they there was a church there was a church that they blew up with a nuclear bomb

and then they were going to build a big statue of stalin and they didn't you people were so

broke and hungry and so poor because we were better than you that you couldn't build it and

and you made a big pool instead.

And then after the USSR surrendered to the United States in 1991,

then you people made the church again.

That's true.

There's a church like that.

You people blew up a church.

You're so godless.

You know, I can tell you that in any country you can visit, you can find...

Well, if the Ukraine is...

I think that you mostly in your life, try to find a good one.

Good one will not, good one will tell you good about that.

Well, okay.

I don't see people, people that all of them are bad.

Do you think that most of the Ukrainian people are good, strong people?

Yes.

Okay, so then why didn't they resist the Soviet Union?

Ukrainian.

Why didn't Ukraine rebel against the Soviet Union and become an independent democracy?

Well, you know, if you read about, a little about Ukraine and we're trying to get into, we are mostly tick country, mostly democratic.

No, but your people, you people, I know how your people are.

You were so chicken that you let the, you know, Russians come in and tell you what to do, like dogs.

They're against Georgia, too.

No way.

it's if you where did you read the own opinion or it's it's internet or in a new newspaper

it's a fact it's a fact i have i have a solid source the new york times you're telling you're

telling me that our nation ukraine russia are so weak you were so weak that you let the russians

tell you what to do and you didn't stand up to the russians and have a revolution that if you

You know, they're no white.

A country of women.

They're no white.

Women country.

Yeah, they're no white.

What revolution was there?

As far as I know, you people were communists until the Soviet Union collapsed.

In the 1970s, the Ukraine should have had a revolution to get rid of the Soviets.

Ow.

Soviet Union fell out because it was communists.

Okay, anyway.

You know, it's five in the morning, and I just see your call waking me up.

Oh, because you're chicken people.

That's why.

Okay, right?

Yeah, I can tell you.

Okay, I can tell you one thing.

Please, you know our Vladimir Putin.

Are you threatening me?

What?

Are you threatening me?

No, I'm telling you.

Okay, because...

If you see division of boxes...

No, but listen.

Klitschko, Klitschko, first of all, Klitschko is a bum.

Okay?

He loses fights, and on top of that, he was created by the Soviet Union.

Yeah, yeah, I think...

Did you see the movie Rocky IV where he went to Russia and there was that crazy Russian guy that was on drugs?

Remember that guy?

You know, you are an American.

Mostly of your people, you make good movies, no doubt.

No doubt you did.

It's only movies, but not...

What does Ukraine make?

Potassium?

What's your big export there, buddy?

Where do you guys got going?

What?

What is your major export there from Ukraine?

Potassium?

what is it manganese well we oh wow you know who doesn't have sugar what is yeah sure even

sometimes you can find ukrainian sugar on your table i heard you use it i heard i heard that

ukrainian sugar you might as well use sand it doesn't have any flavor uh it's well anyway just

if you want to say me something okay trying why

did the Russians stop importing the quotas of Cuban sugar as they did after the 1991 collapse of the Soviet Union?

Explain.

Well, I can tell you that Russia is another country from the Soviet Union.

But you're Russian.

Why doesn't Ukraine buy sugar from Cuba?

I told you.

Why does Ukraine not support the independent state of Georgia?

What?

No, Georgia.

The independent state of Georgia.

Why do you peep? Why are you people against them? Why do you invade, Georgia?

You know you do you didn't hear me telling you that are you pro?

Friendly, I know what so do you think that they should be free or do you want them to be taken over?

What's your opinion?

You're on the radio right now in the United States of America. I'm in New York City, and I'm Brett

My name is Brad Pitt. Oh really? Where did you get this number? We received it from a source from a source

Yeah, this is very good

it if i say hello i'm on the red key anyway country people if you have forgot in your heart

please leave with the teeth don't in your heart buddy you have it now well you've won five thank

you about listen buddy you've won 500 madhouse radio dollars congratulations okay all right

tell everybody that you're listening to uh carlito on 98.6 the mouth okay how can i get my uh you

You have to tune in to 98.6 of the mouth.

Okay.

You have to say that first.

And what does it mean?

You have to say, I'm listening.

What's your name, Alexei?

No, my name is not Alexei.

My name is Bogdan.

Nikolai?

Bogdan, Bogdan.

E-O-G-D-A.

Okay.

Bogdan.

So say, this is Bogdan, and you're listening to 98.6 of the mouth.

Okay.

No, you're too slow, man.

This is Bogdan.

Oh, you're going to do it.

All right, go ahead.

In the three, two, one.

Can you repeat it?

This is Bogdan in the Ukraine, and you're listening to 98.6 The Mouth.

The Mouth?

The Mouth, like the mouth, like you're talking, the mouth.

Ah, mouth.

Ah, I see.

I think you're joking, you're joking me.

No, no, no, this is 98.6.

Um, this is Bogdan, you're listening to 96.6.

98.6.

Thank you very much, Bogdan, we got you on tape, buddy.

God bless you from the United States of America.

Thank you, you too.

Jesus Christ.

That's the best one I've heard yet.

96 point, Mal.

96 point.

It's a replay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I got a few.

That was awesome.

Hang on.

Oh, fuck.

I lost it.

Thank you very much, Bob.

We got you on tape, buddy.

God bless you from the United States of America.

Thank you.

You too.

Jesus Christ.

There you go, Milkman.

Your instant replay.

awesome dude that was impressive that made up for the whole week ukraine yeah that guy did

take offense every time i called him russian he was like kind of upset yeah

yeah bogdan was quite helpful dc look make it a good point bogdan was quite helpful he did

explain a lot about the godless soviets there was a church that did that too i forgot i think

it's called the our savior's transfiguration or something i don't know it was blown up by the

the soviets like in the 60s petersburg or something like that yeah maybe i don't know

they rebuilt it after the conig or something yeah what was they like there was a plan to

build this really huge statue of stalin holding a star or something and then it was way too

expensive to do so they ended up blowing up the church for nothing and they just made a pool they

they excavated the hole and they made a pool like it was it was like it was the biggest public pool

As a matter of fact, it was the biggest public pool in the world, from what I understand.

Let me see.

Biggest.

It's a big municipal swimming pool.

Hang on.

I'll find out what the name of it is.

It was Church.

I'm going to search Church.

It's a pool with a head start.

Pool.

Soviet.

Let's see.

I can't find it anymore.

I read it once.

Maybe if I do rebuild.

It was like the world's biggest swimming pool ever or something.

Revolution.

Yeah, I can't find it.

Yeah.

Maybe by next week I'll be able to talk about it.

I can't find it right now.

Anyway, I think we're going to call it a show.

Let me see if I got any more numbers from Lins and Lins.

I think we're about done.

No.

Yes, yes, we're out of numbers.

That was cool.

Yeah, I rebuilt this.

Rocks, man.

Yeah.

Cathedral of Christ the Savior.

They go, DC Love got it.

DC Love, you get a gold star, man.

Good work, boy.

Yay!

I know it had a name.

Apparently it was like a really gorgeous church, and they blew it up.

Statue of Lennon on the top.

Yeah, I knew it wasn't crazy.

You guys thought it was nuts.

Cathedral of Christ the Savior.

Let's see.

Demolition.

After the Revolution, the death of Lenin, the prominent site of the cathedral was chosen by the Soviets as a site for a monument to socialism known as God.

Those people, they blew up a huge, beautiful church to make a monument to socialism.

How sick is that, dude?

You just don't do that, man.

That's fucking wrong.

I don't trust them, man.

No offense.

I got a co-worker who I think is really cool.

He's a really cool person.

I consider him friendly.

He's Russian.

but dude like some of that shit that they did back then like i don't get it man like that you

know i don't know whatever if you believe in movie the kite flyer no kite runner uh-uh nope

there's just there's just one guy in there the father in the movie he's afghan he goes

yeah because uh yeah because they tried to invade and they faded uh they they faded right so this

monument was to rise in they fucked up their country yeah it was to rise state where it is

It's now the Taliban.

It was to rise in modernistic buttress tears to support a gigantic statue of linen perched atop a dome with his arm raised in a blessing.

Wow.

On December 5th, 1931, by order of Stalin's minister, the Cathedral of Christ the Savior was dynamited, reduced to rubble,

took more than a year to clear the debris from the site.

The original marble high reliefs were preserved and are now on display.

For a long time, they were the only reminder of the largest Orthodox church ever built.

This was the largest Orthodox church ever built, and they blew it up to build a statue of Stalin, of Lenin.

Wow, that's fucked up.

The construction of the Palace of Soviets was interrupted due to lack of funds,

problems with flooding from the nearby Moscow River, and the outbreak of war.

The flooded foundation hall remained on the site until, under Nikita Khrushchev,

It was transformed into the world's largest open-air swimming pool.

It was called the Moskva Pool.

They put a little sign around the big mud hole.

Yeah, right.

The Moskva Pool.

Yeah.

Russia.

Here we go.

The Moskva Pool was for a time the world's largest open-air swimming pool.

It was built in Moscow in 1958 on the foundation of the abandoned Palace of Soviets,

which was originally one of the Seven Sister Buildings.

Wow, there's a lot of cool stuff about this, about these Russian buildings.

I'm going to check this out.

Construction of the Palace of the Soviets began in 1938, abandoned in 1941,

when steel from the foundation of the building was used for war material during World War II.

So that's what happened.

The empty foundation of the Palace of the Soviets was made into an open-air swimming pool in 1958,

which existed until 1995.

In 1995, Cathedral of Christ the Savior Church was reconstructed.

It was the one that was originally demolished to make way for the Palace of the Soviets.

Okay, well, there we go.

There's your Russian history of the night.

It was built in Moscow.

Shut up, Carlito, you big fat fuck.

Anything else we're going to talk about?

I think we're just about done here.

Milkman, why don't you take us out of here?

All right, I'd like to thank anybody.

All our friends out there, the two of you, man.

Thanks to our big brother and friends.

That's right.

You heard it right here.

The Lonesome Loser.

God bless the Lonesome Loser.

Hey, turn down that music a little bit there, Milkman.

There you go.

Peace.

Thank you.

Yes, God bless the Lonesome Loser, and thank you for our numbers, Hitman.

That's right.

All right, I have to thank all of our friends out there.

Mimi, Dr. Lego, that's right, Tug, D-Rock, Baz, Maven, D-Rock,

and they showed them titties.

All our friends out there, 98.6 the mouth.

We love you.

Yo, yo, yeah, that's right, yo, yo, yeah, that's my brother Tug to rescue.

That's right, and I want to thank you, especially you, our listeners.

You know what?

We love you.

We do this every week just for you.

We don't charge you a dime, but we give you our time.

Why?

Because we love you.

That's right.

So please tune in next week.

The same bat time on the same channel and the same bat cave.

And do not forget, we love our Generalissimo of the Madhouse.

That's right.

Our king, our czar, our prime minister, our Soviet commandant, comrade, Generalissimo Carnito.

Thank you so much, brother.

Back to you, big guy.

Thank you.

Correct me.

All right.

Everyone be sure to visit Tuck's website.

That's tuckermike.com.

This is the ruined colored pictures of mine that I've drawn on this.

There you go.

It looks good, man.

I didn't mean that.

I didn't say it.

Just strike it from the record, all right?

It was, I don't know.

It was my dad talking.

tuckermike.com.

Everyone be sure to check out that website.

You've got to make a picture of Carlito's man holding a Soviet star.

Yeah, there you go.

Out of the Vogue gun.

yeah on top of uh over looking overlooking a big pool there we go that's the cover to the new the

new album yeah that's the new next cd cover there we go it's me holding a russian star

looking over a pool 96 points per mile if you if you see a picture of the like the rough draft

like the sketch uh artist conception or whatever of the of that statue or whatever they're making

it looked really fucking crazy it's like this big stallion with his hand up in the air like

Like, huge, like, bigger than, like, the size, like, bigger than the Statue of Liberty, I want to say it was.

I don't know.

Maybe I'm, the whole thing itself, including the pedestal, I think was as big as the Statue of Liberty.

But the pedestal was really big and very tall.

All right.

Yeah.

All right, well, there we go.

All right, folks, thank you, everyone, who listened tonight.

This has been Madhouse Radio for October the 15th, leading into Friday, October the 16th.

We'll be back next week.

Podcast subscribers, as I said, there are two episodes that have been edited.

And I plan on updating that over the weekend sometime on Saturday afternoon or Sunday morning.

I will flip the switch and we will be pushing two episodes from when we did our first return after the, I guess, the second fall of the Madhouse.

I don't know what you want to call that.

We'll have to talk about that soon, next coming weeks, about what happened.

And, yeah, be sure to visit the Homestead page, madhousesite.com.

Check out the forums.

And there's not much there.

There's a lot there.

I mean, hey, there's a lot of prank calls there.

but it's not as huge and gaudy it's very simplistic very japanese milkman designed

it very feng shui thank you sir we're out of here thank you

98.6 ml

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