Fuh

Man, you're fucking crazy.

I didn't tell you that.

You are a motherfucker, you know that?

No.

You forget me?

I fucked last night with your mom?

Who the fuck is this?

Motherfucker, who is this?

You are listening to the Madhouse Radio Podcast.

Let's hear it for me.

Everyone give me attention now.

He gets some attention himself, apparently.

Hey, we're back, Madhouse Radio.

Thursday, 11-5-09-10-14 p.m.

I'll forget to send out my spam messages

that were coming on the air.

Now no one knows we're on the air.

I gotta do that real quick.

Hey, everybody.

Well, thanks for tuning in,

those who are tuned in right now.

We're gonna be doing a show.

I hope you're excited about that.

I certainly am.

Let's rock!

I heard through the grapevine

that Pindar had died.

Pindar from the old KDK days,

but he's online right now.

That's kind of weird.

I don't think Pindar died.

I heard that Pindar was dead.

Do you think his computer is still on?

Yeah, you think his computer is still on?

What was he doing, Nuon Generation or something for NASA, and he got the cancer?

Yeah, Nuon Generation.

And then, you know, KDK, I heard, you know, our boy KDK announced on air he had anal cancer.

Oh, anal cancer.

He was dead.

Anal cancer or colon cancer?

Are you just calling it anal cancer?

Does anybody get anal cancer?

If I have too many bananas, I've got anal cancer.

I don't know.

That was a story I got.

I ate about four bananas and an orange.

If you run in the back door too many times, you may have to worry about it.

Gentlemen, I recommend if you're ever constipated and you're afraid of taking a suppository,

you go ahead and eat about four bananas and one orange, and you're good to go in about ten minutes.

Eat them in one sitting.

Sit down.

The best thing to do, you microwave the banana.

I don't know if you've ever tried this, but I used to do this when I was younger, when I was in high school.

I used to take a banana, and you cut it into a few pieces, and you put it in a bowl.

You microwave it for a minute, and when it comes out, you mash it with a fork, and it's really good.

I recommend it

try it right now

if you haven't

go right now

to your microwave

microwave that banana

and mash it up

and try it

and tell me

you don't think it's good

and then one time

I actually took it

and I would

for a while

then I would freeze it

after I mashed it

and everything

and then I would

eat the frozen part

it was brown

and then I learned

that you can actually

if you put lime juice

like a little bit

of lemon juice

or lime juice

on top of it

it doesn't turn brown

it kills the

whatever that stuff is

that's in apples

and bananas

yeah

alright folks

Folks, prank calls we're here for, prank calls we shall do.

I can't go on for too late because I have a test that I have to take.

I'm going to try to take it tonight instead of tomorrow because I've got plans for tomorrow.

And it's due tomorrow night by midnight.

I don't think I'll be home by midnight tomorrow.

I'm going to be working all day.

So I'm going to take that before I go to bed tonight.

It only takes like...

Milkman, you're hopping in and out.

Try to redo your connection.

Can you repair?

you need to uh ip config ip uh renew ip config release for slash format wc as quickly as you

can and come back and give me a report we got numbers from lonesome losing here the chuck

wagon restaurant resta you rant uh they're up in sanger i think s-a-n-g-e-r sanger or sanger

california the jackass cafe and convenience store piggy sue's barbecue barbecue barbecue

This is a barbecue restaurant, Wanker's Corner Saloon and Cafe.

There you go, Nunu.

Wanker's Corner Saloon and Cafe.

Barbecue.

Hi, Jinx.

24-hour towing.

I have fun with towing.

Lonesome, not Lonesome, was your reckless when it has fun with towing.

I was talking to him over the week, and he did mention he's been busy,

had an article written about him on the internet.

I'll tell you what he said.

He's a DJ now.

He's doing videos.

Nunu is involved with that whole thing.

Yeah, I heard so, too.

but anyway he likes uh he's going to be joining us in a few weeks he said uh we're going to be

moving the show time milkman did you know i don't know but we're moving the show down to

tuesdays at 8 p.m coming up in a few weeks in a few weeks probably not next week i doubt next week

probably in the next two or three weeks i'll make that we'll make a determination as to where we're

going to do that exactly and this is another is there a better night for you milkman or talk

is this tuesday at eight work for you guys milkman that's 5 p.m your time so um no i'm

right now man i'll let you know there's a i'll have to talk to you a little bit later on here

in the in the back room there but uh on the toilet major big time bite on the line man yeah

i'll meet you backstage after the show but your big time bite on the line bro uh milk doubling

wages man you're going to get a new job milkman getting a new job here everybody thanks to man

house radio all right folks so we got serious stuff to talk about uh the podcast

PrankCast is being redone.

I was mentioning this in the forums, but I've been working on it all week.

The podcast, you're going to be able to go to the website and subscribe or listen to PrankCalls and old episodes and new episodes and three different podcasts, actually.

We're going to promote the PrankCall-only podcast.

I decided to name it the PrankCast.

And I think it's important to know, as far as I understand, we were the first PrankCall podcast out there.

We started doing it around 2005, as a matter of fact, was when I first started podcasting PrankCalls.

and i was laughing at it when i first started it originator i don't remember anybody i don't

remember any other i could be wrong but in itunes at least i was the only if you typed in prank

calls and podcasts and all you got was like madhouse radio so i think but there's a lot of

other imitators out there right now so there's some subpar there's some good ones there's some

good dudes out there like you know phone losers are really cool and there's that one white guy

that looks like he's got herpes he's pretty good and there's a guy with a beard from canada he's

pretty cool but then these other there's these kids it's friday night kids you ever heard of

these friday night kids you ever seen the milkman these for these kids that aren't that funny dude

i don't know but i think we tuned in that one time we called and listened on that like line

and it was just terrible yeah that's what i'm saying yeah milkman i got it was funny i was

watching malcolm x videos today on my google phone on my android phone on my lunch break in my car

while i was eating um i was eating my lunch and uh i just i decided to tune into uh shady 45 shade

45 the m&m's channel on sirius a hip-hop channel and they were talking about some war between jay-z

and beanie seagull or something like that these two cats were like arguing like battling each

other on the mic and talking about doing this and that it's always bullshit that they do to sell

records so i called in and i wish i could have recorded it but i was inspired and i called in

and i started talking like i started quoting malcolm x and i was talking about how jay-z's

a house negro i was like you see the problem is jay-z's a house negro and the house negro used

to come and the house negro lived with the master and the house negro loved the master more than

and they got like all like offended because i called in as bruce and i'm talking you know

white i don't sound hispanic or black so they're like here's some white guys calling it talking

talking about house negro and stuff i didn't say that i didn't say the n word but i was saying

house negro and field negro and i was saying that beanie seagull is a field negro and he hates his

master and jay-z's uh uncle tom house negro and they got upset and hung up i mean they talked

about it for like 10 minutes afterwards how some things are inappropriate and i don't even know

who these cats were they were on there but i think they're rappers i think they're like legitimate

rappers have like an afternoon show but i laughed my ass off and uh i didn't get to record it and

And I don't know if any, probably, I doubt anybody that was listening this afternoon

would have been at around 2 p.m. Eastern time if you're listening to Channel 45 on Sirius.

If you heard the guy calling in talking about House Negroes, that was me.

It was quite an interesting conversation.

They kept me on for like five minutes, and the guy was like chastising me.

What the fuck?

He was saying all this shit.

He was like, yeah, this is what's wrong.

Like, sir, where did you learn that?

And I said, I learned it from Malcolm X.

I was watching Malcolm X videos on YouTube.

And then the other guy started laughing like it was hilarious.

like it's like all right this guy is bad he ain't that bad and the one guy was like no no no this is

what's wrong this is offensive well he's this guy's calling you talking about house negroes

it's not about that and then that's his whole explanation that made no sense and he's a lot

of different vernacular from new york that i don't understand and usually when people in public talk

to me like that like black people african americans when they talk like that i usually just you know

smile and knife you know nod politely nod my head politely like i understand them like i know what

what they're saying usually right i mean that's not bad to do sometimes ask me questions and i

just keep nodding yeah and then i'm like oh they were actually asking me a question oops uh and i

say yeah and i hope that's not a bad thing to say you never know sometimes yeah yeah right right

true speaking of why people talk speaking about uh the uh the house negroes and the house slaves

in comparison to field negros.

Tuck, you're on a

cotton plantation and they just started picking the

cotton, is it? I just got your tweet.

Yeah, yes.

They're all picking the cotton.

Yeah, but you use machinery for your...

They're very jovial as they do it.

They always are.

Isn't it a company that comes out to your land out there

and just does it with these big machines?

Singing hymns.

Singing hymns? The machines act like slaves?

Seriously though, did your

cotton...

Yes, why? What's wrong?

Is it cotton picking season?

It is? Okay.

I didn't know when cotton picking season is.

Well, it's not bad.

It's getting nice and cool,

so it's not that bad for picking cotton.

And you have the pictures up on the blog yet,

but when they do, you get to see it,

and you get the machines running across the fields and stuff.

And, yeah, yeah, it's a good crop.

That's awesome.

That's what they say.

Hopefully, we'll know when they change it.

Check out that cotton gin that the devil white slave master is running it.

That'll be, I'm sure, over at tuckermike.com.

That's Tuck's website.

Be sure to visit that, bookmark that, and subscribe to his podcast, which is non-existent anymore.

I don't know.

Is your podcast still awake?

I haven't heard his podcast for a while, but, man, he's got some really good classic radio stuff, too.

Yeah, he does.

Yeah, Tuck has good spaces over there.

Be sure to visit his web spaces.

Yeah.

All right.

There are good spaces. I updated the gallery to checkermag.com.

You can see the more updated artwork and stuff that I have been doing up there.

Check all that out. It's very 420 friendly, you might say.

All right. Yeah.

Smoke weed every day.

Let's hear that. Let's hear it for that. 420 right there.

um beginning a lot of talk uh another and more madhouse and carlio news uh that guy that came

over here and sold my carpets i forgot his name already what's the name of that that that fat kid

that came over here and sold the carpets already right yeah he says there's some place called the

network he keeps telling me you'll do the network the network i'm like what the fuck is the network

like what's it called like no it's called the network i'm like okay he's like yeah you should

get on there and do a show i'm like all right has anybody heard of the network d network what's

That's the website for the network.

Like, I ask him what it is, he never tells me.

That was a movie in the 70s called Network.

That's right, Richard Biel.

Richard Biel, the mad prophet of the airwaves.

I'm not going to play that, because we've played that way too much in a show in the past.

Fuck that.

Hunan Homes, Chinese restaurants also here.

Noodle Shop from Lonesome Loser, Big Johnson, Highway, and Gas.

Here's a challenge for Lonesome Loser and all our other listeners,

if you want to try to help us out tonight.

find us at the phone number for a

cotton plantation or a cotton growing operation

and we'll talk about how cotton's in season

and ask about their Negroes

see how many house Negroes they have

and how many field Negroes they have

in relation to Eli Whitney

Eli Whitney, exactly, yeah

Brendan's reminding us, yes, Evil Artie

very good, thank you sir, Incredibles in there

he asks if I have a thing against blacks

George Washington Carver

I don't have anything wrong with blacks, I just, I don't know

did I say anything bad about blacks?

no, he invented peanuts

Who, George Washington Carver did invent peanuts and peanut milk also and peanut butter and anything with peanuts.

Like, yeah, he actually invented the peanuts, yeah.

I'll tell you who's really into peanuts is Sean, Crazy Sean up there in Toronto.

Sean Ward?

Peanut Punch.

Peanut Punch, that's right.

Hey, we should do...

Peanut Punch right here, right.

Let's talk later.

Let's do prank calls now, okay?

All right, prank calls now.

Yeah.

Oh, look, we got some Greek...

Oh, is that what we're supposed to be doing?

We got Nico Nico's Greek restaurant also.

Also, oh, dude, let's knock these out of the water, son.

Chuck Wagon Restaurant is going to be the first call of the night.

I'm fucking balls out right now.

I'm so excited about it.

My fucking balls are out.

Listen to my balls.

Hang on.

Those are my balls right there.

That's how excited I am.

Chuck, take your balls off.

You too, Milkman.

Good.

How many house Negroes do you guys have there?

House Negroes or field Negroes?

Do you guys carry house Negroes or field Negroes over there?

Which one?

Which ones do you have?

have the house negroes or the field negroes you have house what dressing with it that's all we

got blue cheese or anything you have a house ran no no is it which kind is it fresh made or is it

like do you have in the little tubs is it ken's and uh ken's brand can you go hey wait hey listen

uh hey listen bring back because i need to know about the gluten content and stuff like that

i'm gluten sensitive all right hurry up around with this man serious serious business well

I've got numbers here.

Let's see for Jackass Cafe and Convenience Store,

which is going to be the next one that I call.

So if you have any ideas for that,

please call Jackass, which is a cafe and a convenience store.

Send them on down right now to me.

If you're on AOL or Yahoo Messenger, you can message me.

My screen name is Madhouse Radio.

Send me a message on Twitter, twitter.com.

My name there, I am at Madhouse.

Madhouse on Twitter.

No radio, that one.

Someone else took it.

KDK took it.

Okay.

Gluten.

Is there a H-C-F-L?

H-C-F-L.

High fructose corn syrup.

H-C-F-L.

What is it?

Is it like a big container you're holding or what do you got?

Open it.

Yeah, open it.

And just like, can you smell?

I mean, do you smell?

Is it sweet?

Or just taste it?

Just put your finger in it.

You're like, I don't know, you can't put your finger in it, right?

Yeah, I know.

Well, you got a spoon?

No, it's sweet.

Taste it.

You got to taste it, though.

Like, I don't know, seriously, because if I put that on my salad, if it's, you know,

If it has gluten in it, I'm in big trouble.

Like, I'd kill me.

On your what?

On my salad.

Oh, salad.

No, no, I'm sorry.

We don't have the salad.

So, what are you going to put this on?

We usually get this for, like, onion rings.

Uh-huh.

Onion rings.

Are they breaded?

Chicken strips, are they breaded, too?

But the onion rings are breaded also, then.

They're breaded also.

What else you got that's fried?

Burritos.

Deep-fried burrito.

Like a bean and a meat burrito.

You fry it?

Yeah.

You dip that in the dressing, though, right?

Uh, you can.

Or eat the bucket.

Taste that dressing real quick.

Just tell me if it's sweet or not

Because if not then

It's not going to work out

It said that you guys

Were gluten friendly

At you know

Glutenmenus.com

Like it had a review

And it said that you guys

Were gluten friendly

So

But

Yeah but I mean

I don't know

If it's the

It said that the

That to check the dressing

That they weren't sure

It said not unsure

Like it has incomplete

On the form

Yeah and here it doesn't say any

I'm serious

I mean too

Could you just taste it

Real quick for me

Yeah I tasted it

It doesn't really taste sweet

No you didn't

Did you taste it

Come on man

Like dude let me hear it

I want to make sure

you know like i'm gonna hear it tastes like salty protein mouth you like it that's you i do that

i've been here touching it you're touching it and making you eat that so i think it's like sperm like

my sperm do you want to order anything or not no because i was touching myself and i'll pretend

like i wanted you to do it so like you can pretend it's like you know i beat in your mouth

all right i do in your mouth i'm like have a good night that's from getting him off the phone

he's like yeah it's a cat thing that's why i took it that way he sent it all like

all right well i am bisexual i'm fabulous take a look here numbers coming in from chris allerbeck

robert for you sending a number for robert l wanker oh my phone off the fucking hook

i gotta turn off the ringer here forgot to turn off the ringer at the beginning of the show

you'll hear the ringer all night if i don't turn it off now

now there we go off okay put some music here put some run dmc uh a number for robert wanker

an adult bookstore and wanker's county store uh coming from chris big chris works i believe that's

a cousin of his actually probably he's from wankershire england you know yeah brendan was

advising us to get in and eat the whole bottle i tried to get in the lead i was trying to get

to make smacking noises on the mouth that was my uh that was my fucking goal there it didn't work

workout see royale just figuring out that i'm puerto rican apparently incredible yes has been

working with apple for quite some time he was advising me on the podcast back when i was having

trouble and i still am having trouble with it but it's just about fixed anyway i was saying like

you'll be able to go to the to the website and you go you'll go to a certain section and right

there every single episode is uploaded automatically with a player right there for you and a link for

you to download it and a synopsis and a special picture for each episode and it's going to be

really easy to do and uh it's basically linked to the podcast it's gonna it's gonna yeah it's

gonna be it's gonna be pretty tight i'm pretty excited about it i haven't like in a in a temporary

link so no one can really find it i'm just fine tuning in and wanted to look good by the time

it's ready so there'll be one for the prank calls only and uh which a lot of people like

and then we're gonna have one for the uh episodes and that's it just episodes no prank calls so

we got people with both flavors or you can have them both or if you just like prank calls a lot

lot of people just like the prank calls we get a lot of people that just want prank calls and hey

that's that's fine that's all the classic podcasts you're not going to be there's going to be a

separate uh feed for it i'm not going to promote or anything but it's going to be on the website

you can go to the website and then the uh i got the hard drive should be i should be getting the

hard drive tomorrow to put the station back up 24 7 the one they're broadcasting on now

and uh once that and then all those episodes will be up back on there too they're going to

to be going back to 2005 like every single episode that we've had so and i'll remove them as necessary

that is sweet yeah and i'm off of the pranks in there and uh a lot of that i got jen stewart

pranks in there also that's that's gonna be in that cool and that's it i could i could take out

the jen stewart i'm gonna see if i can get with hollywood hollywood has a lot of his own pranks

i'm gonna see if i can uh uh get an agree to maybe we can put them on there that might be nice

Heck yeah, that'd be cool.

He's got some good shit, man.

I'll give it to Zolar.

Maybe Zolar will give me a few that he thinks he'd like to be on there or something.

If he wants.

He's a friend of the Madhouse Show.

He's not going to be on until January, of course.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

I've got to take a drink of something here.

Give me a second, please.

Get some tea.

Yeah, much better.

An awesome 24 hours of the Madhouse.

Yeah, I know.

It was fun.

We had quite a few people in the afternoons.

A lot of people were tuning in.

I was quite happy with it.

But, of course, that went by the wayside a few months ago.

Credible likes Crazy Fucker.

Yeah, I was thinking about trying to go in there and just edit out Crazy Fucker audio

and start putting that by itself, because some of that shit's fucking hilarious.

You just see rambles for so fucking long.

Maybe, like, make certain episodes, you know, like, one episode of this week would be, like,

all Crazy Fucker ranting.

Oh, God.

And do it in installments.

Yeah, because a lot of times, the majority, there were times where we'd, he'd be on for

over a half hour.

Like, he'd call in, and we're like, like, half hour later, he's still fucking ranting.

One rant would be, like, a whole episode.

He'd just go.

We could definitely get a whole season of that.

This is a convenience store.

You guys carry toiletries?

No, I like stuff to get clean.

I need something for the bottom of my fingernails.

I got some DNA and stuff in there I got to get rid of.

Yeah, we got some hygiene products.

Touching stuff.

You guys have hand sanitizer?

I believe so.

Rubber gloves?

Well, I don't have gloves, but I know we got them.

You guys don't use, you're supposed to use gloves over there with the food and all that stuff.

Yeah.

All right, so can you hook me up with some of them gloves?

This is Valente.

Look at you.

I really, I need you to hook me up with some rubber gloves and stuff and hand sanitizer.

Because I know you got your own private hand sanitizer in the back, right?

Uh-huh.

All right, so break me off some of that hand sanitizer and some rubber gloves and stuff.

You guys got funnels there to put gasoline in the car?

I don't know if we have any.

Like, what if I need oil and shit in my car?

You guys got a funnel I can use?

What else you got there that's important?

You got a microwave?

Let me get that.

What's that?

Let me get that.

You got a microwave?

Well, I'll just use it for a little bit.

I was going to use it.

Yeah, we got two microwaves here.

I mean, haven't you been here before?

I'm going to put a bowl of water with white rice in it,

and I think it takes like 20 minutes or something.

How many quarts is it?

Is it an 8-quart-sized microwave or 10 quarts?

I have no idea.

Check the ounces on it.

It says in the front, always, by the buttons.

We got Deli Express microwaves here, man.

It doesn't say about quarts.

It doesn't say in the front how many quarts it holds.

How many ounces then, you know?

Any clue?

Why don't you just come on in and use them, man?

I got to know how much rice to want.

I need water and rice.

I got to bring the bowl, too.

The bowl's got to fit in there, sir.

Okay.

Would you let me use the microwave for about 30 minutes in a funnel?

Well, I don't care if you use the microwave.

That's what they're here for.

I'm just saying, it's going to be like 30 minutes.

I don't want anybody giving me any of that stuff, you know?

I don't want to say bad words or stuff.

I don't want any shit.

Well, yeah.

Yeah, I mean, we clean them every day, you know, and they can't stay clean.

No, I know they're clean.

I know your people clean.

I just don't want people over here saying, oh, this guy over here, 30 minutes in the microwave, 30 minutes, you know.

Yeah, I have no problem with you using their microwaves.

Just, you know, come in and use them.

Put a soda can in the microwave, too.

Yeah, go ahead and put a soda can in the microwave.

What do you think will happen?

You think the can will explode?

What do you think will damage itself first?

You think the can will explode?

I'll tell you what, if you put a soda can in there, you'll be paying for the microwave, too.

I'm paying shit.

You said I could use it for 30 minutes.

aluminum or anything in my microwave i'm gonna put a soda can in when you're not looking i'm

gonna turn it on okay go ahead so what are you gonna you think i won't do it i'll do it

too bitch the microwave a soda can you think there's a youtube video that

look for it hang on i'm gonna take a look as a matter of fact now because if i don't do it now

fuck i'll forget about it i'll forget about it and we'll never find out listen to this creepy

message that incredible kid uh left us thank you creepy guy all right we got breaking news i did

I did find a video of a microwave.

I like that, man.

I know this is not going to be good radio, but I really want to watch this.

It's got four and a half stars on YouTube.

It's got 242,000 views.

And it says, is it a good idea to microwave a can of soda?

So I'm going to watch this.

You guys, let's see what happens.

Is it a good idea to microwave this?

That's an awesome show.

All right, and this is five minutes and 59 seconds long, though,

so i hope they get to the action i'll try to i know look guys if it gets boring deal with it i

need to see this i recommend i'm gonna put uh see if i can post a link in the in the chat room for

those of you who are in the chat room if you're not you should be in the chat room right now

yeah yeah well i'm saying i know it's bad radio but guys come on it's a fucking microwave you

know fuck i

had a relative

that did something

like that

I had a relative

that put a glass

jar with the lid

on tight

ooh really

the thing blew up

really yeah

you think

cause a lot of

pressure

the glass came

right out

yeah dude i saw in 20 i'm not i don't make that joke a lot i saw in the side of the microwave

and i'll make that joke a lot all the time oh i saw in 2020 you know when we do prank calls but

literally in 2020 once i saw that uh you could take water and if you boil it if you put in a

glass container that was really clean and you you know it did this thing called flash boiling where

it got to the boiling point but there was never anything on the surface to break it up like an

impurity to break it up to start the boiling process where all the bubbles create so if you

take it out and you stick a metal spoon in it it just explodes right in your face like i i and i

was called flash boil something they they said like the best thing to do is like if you ever

microwave water by itself never drop never put metal or anything in it shake it a little bit

first or it'll you know it could it could flash boil or something that was fucking nuts and

And literally, I saw that on 2020.

We need to get the prank off.

Cans of water.

How long, though?

I don't know.

Let's see.

Microwave steam from a wine bottle.

Someone did it with wine here.

Someone microwaved a sealed water bottle on one here, apparently.

Is it an LED spray paint can?

Gun caps?

A Wiimote?

There's a lot of microwaving stuff in here.

It's like the blending thing.

I never thought.

I'm going to check that out.

That sounds kind of cool.

You can get a microwave for like, you know, I don't know.

You can probably get a microwave for like $20 somewhere, right?

the dollar store i think milkman has a few of them in his house he's gonna build to the walls

yeah let's call piggy sues piggy sues barbecue restaurant i'm gonna try microwaving a 44 ounce

cup of gasoline 44 ounce cup um with gas filled with gasoline i think that'd be kind of cool

i wonder would it explode or just catch fire i wonder i wonder how what what what happens if

you microwave gasoline it's got ignite it gets hot enough it ignites right maybe not yeah i would

I don't know.

You think?

If there's no metal,

was this paper

in the paper enclosure?

Well, yeah,

the paper would burn

and it would catch on fire.

Yeah.

Sean's saying

they catch microwaves on fire.

Yeah, I think so.

All right,

we're calling somebody else.

I forgot who it is.

I just copied the number

and pasted it down

on Google Voice.

Let's see who it is.

It's a mystery fucking call.

Yeah.

Listen,

I had a question.

How many spaces

do you guys have down there

right now?

Spaces.

Like when you come down

and make spaces?

Tables?

No, spaces, sir.

What's that?

No, spaces, man.

How much are your spaces?

It's Wankers, right?

Yeah, so how many...

I'm not sure what you mean by spaces.

You can put somebody else on the phone.

Put your manager on the phone, please.

This is not going to work.

This is the manager, man.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Well, put someone else.

Is there a woman there I could talk to?

She's bartending right now, and it's really busy.

What are you trying to say?

I could hold.

Did he hang up?

Did he actually put me on hold?

She's bartending right now.

Let's call him back anyway and give him a fuck.

You're getting out of the other way.

You might as well harass the guy.

Hi, Winkers and Wilsonville.

This is Heather.

How can I help you?

Yes, ma'am.

I was talking to that effeminate guy over there,

and he, like, refused to put me through

and he hung up the phone.

I mean, he said, like,

I think he said, like, bad words

when he was hanging up the phone.

I'm sorry about that.

I don't know.

Who's the effeminate guy?

Have any effeminate men that work there?

Well, who was this maybe on the phone?

Do you know?

I'm really not sure.

Can I help you with anything?

Yeah, well, I was making a question

about how many spaces you guys had.

How much were your spaces and whatnot?

And you guys acted like

I'm supposed to speak English or something.

These are English words.

Are you meaning...

Do you mean parking spaces or tables?

The spaces, spaces.

No, how many...

How much are your spaces

We don't have spaces in the restaurant.

Yeah, exactly.

That's what I'm saying.

This is Wankers, right?

Yeah.

So I want to come in.

I need to know how much are your spaces and stuff.

I've got a few people who want to come in.

How much do they cost?

How much are they?

Yeah.

How much spaces?

$25.

Okay, it's $25 and that's just something.

Is there a limit?

No, limit.

Like a minimum to at all?

No.

No minimum, no max, just whatever.

Is there a minimum?

We can let you know out there.

Do you guys automatically impose a gratuity on the check after with a certain number of people?

It's really up to you.

But a party of more than 15.

How many spaces can we get, though?

A party of 15 people coming in.

Probably two or three.

Two or three spaces?

Depending on how big those people are.

What do you mean?

You probably need two or three spaces for that many people, depending on how big they are.

Are you being fresh?

No, not at all.

Can you please put the manager on the phone?

Yeah.

Should we hold for the effeminate guy again?

Thank you for holding us, Michael.

Hey, you're the effeminate guy, right, that I was talking to before?

Not a prank call.

No, are you being fresh with me, sir?

I don't understand what's going on here.

because I've been asking you plain English questions for quite some time now,

and this woman in here is, like, you know, catering to me,

pandering to me, like, yeah, uh-huh, uh-huh, like,

you know, at first trying to be all nice,

and then she still doesn't understand what I'm saying, apparently.

Like, why are you people patronizing me?

What's the deal?

What's your deal?

You should call back tomorrow.

I'm going to talk to you tomorrow.

Bullshit.

Call tomorrow.

Call now.

You should call back tomorrow when my boyfriend's here.

This is Molly.

How can I help you?

Yes, sir.

I was calling back to speak to the manager.

Okay, hold on one second, please.

Thank you, sir.

Hey, guys, what does it sound like?

It sounds like a broken toilet.

He won't be back till the morning.

Huh?

So he won't be back till tomorrow morning.

Is he bringing that piece with him?

Because we've got to fix the toilet still.

Toilet?

It's going to call people, tell them the toilet's broken.

More tea in here so I can make that noise.

Oh, guys, I wish I had video.

Shit, there it is.

That's the right mic.

I will totally fucking show you this fucking thing I bought at Big Lost, man.

It's this Rubbermaid pitcher, and the top, it closes down, and it's got an automatic

mixer in there, so.

Why didn't you get them mokers?

I put my water on there.

there i put my water in this pitcher and i drop my kool-aid in there mix man and i put my splendor

in there and then i uh and it automatically mixes it like it's got this thing to mix it you don't

even have to get a spoon or anything you just pump the thing up and down but it's kind of low

right now so if i do it it sounds like a broken toilet that's not like this reminds me of a broken

toilet like you had to fix the toilet yeah yeah what happened to your mogul my ghost i gotta put

the player back up that's all it is and now it's live stream or something ridiculously like

Like, complicated now.

The process to go in there and broadcast is way more complicated than it used to be.

But I was thinking, should we go back to, should we, I want to have one player up.

Should it be JustinTV or should it be Mogulus, known as Livestream now, or something else?

Any ideas, any clues?

Justin seems to have a pretty decent following over there.

Whatever's easier for you.

Yeah.

Yeah, Nunu's saying that we should have said we wanted to come in and have a wank.

Right.

Good deal.

Well, they get that every day.

I'm sure they do.

Hi, Jinx.

If you said that...

Hi, Jinx Towing, everybody.

Hi, Jinx Towing.

It's called by toilets.

I wonder if they can hear it, though.

You've reached Hi, Jinx Towing.

Leave us a message after the beep,

and someone will get back to you as soon as possible.

Thanks. Bye.

Let's see if they call back.

It's always fun.

It's got to be the nasty toilet show.

Let's take a look at the chat room

and see what's going on in there.

Hey, chat room.

Yeah.

white one says to call the escort for great justice the dead's in there saying sex see all

the new people in the chat room lots of new people that's right and i and again i didn't

even promote the show let me do that right now hang on before i forget hey we are live right now

over at xbcp

you know what i heard was doing the live show uh this week was um big neil big evil neil

He's doing a show.

Did you catch that?

He's doing a show now on Twitter.

Yeah, Big Evil Neal doing a show.

Why that?

On what?

Fat.

That's what KDK always calls it.

Frags.

Frags team.

What's it called?

Fag stream?

Fag.

Fag stream.

Frag.

Techno frag.

Yeah, techno frag radio.

Big Fat Zolar is in the house.

Zolar Party Nation will be on January 12, 2010.

2010, 9 p.m. Eastern Standard Time.

Be sure to check that out.

I can't fucking wait.

Ten seconds away from sending out this fucking notice to everybody who I forgot to notify about the show.

We're going to move on with some more numbers here.

Lonesome Loser sending in numbers diligently, like a diligent little number monkey.

You can send in yours, too, if you're using AOL or Yahoo Instant Messenger.

My screen name is Madhouse Radio.

If you're on MSN Messenger, my screen name there is MadhouseAtLive.com.

Our website is MadhouseLive.com.

As a matter of fact, manhouselife.com.

Check out the podcast while you're at it.

Most importantly, subscribe to the forums.

Go in there and post in the forums.

There's naked pictures in there of Milkman.

Milkman's bare ass having raw sex.

Raw sex, everybody.

Bareback Milkman.

Join, join, join.

That's right.

Your special pictures about Milkman's hot ass.

Oh, God.

Hot ass.

Something about this doesn't sound right.

Listen to this for a second.

I've got to post the message on Twitter or else we'll move on with the show.

Actually, I'll have the next prime call here.

Square Apple Casino in Las Vegas.

Square Apple, your only source for live 70s, 80s, and 90s music.

We are located at 1000 East Sahara, just west of Maryland Parkway.

We open daily at 6 p.m.

If you would like a return call, please leave a detailed message along with your name and phone number at the phone.

What's casino about that?

70s and 80s music.

Fuck that.

We talked about BB Smalls the whole time.

Aquarius Resort.

This is Delores.

Hello.

Hello, woman.

Yes.

Yes, hi.

Could you please transfer me to a man?

A man?

Mm-hmm.

Any man?

Just not a woman.

A man op...

No, I mean a man operator?

What do they...

What do you do there?

I'm the hotel operator.

Uh-huh.

And then, what was the...

Take the call.

Huh?

Now, who would you like to speak to?

A casino host?

Well, I have problems with the casino, the pit boss I'd like to talk to.

Okay, so who would you like to speak to?

I'm making a complaint about the hotel operator.

Okay, okay, hold on one second.

Okay, thank you.

About the hotel operator.

This is Vincent, your service.

Hello, can I have your name please?

Vincent.

I'm making a complaint.

The hotel operator was rude to me and declined me to transfer my call.

Okay, what were you trying to do?

I'm trying to get to speak to someone regarding the money that I lost in the casino.

The money that I lost in the casino.

Okay, hold on one second, okay?

What's your name?

What?

Oh, okay.

What's that about?

Motherfucker said all you can drink beer.

And they give you one beer and one wine.

Toilet, toilet beer.

Toilet wine.

Wow, they got an Outback there.

That was fancy.

Listen, is that an Outback Steakhouse or an Outback Restaurant there?

What is it, the Outback Steakhouse?

Like the real one?

It's not like some invitation?

No, it's the actual Outback.

I'm going to look into that, because if it's not, then I'm going to report you and hold you responsible because you gave me the wrong information.

Okay, that's fine.

What's your name?

Vincent.

What's your papers?

What's that?

What's your papers?

Papers?

Yes.

What's that?

Where's your papers at?

What you're talking about?

I'll get it from your manager.

Who knew on the line?

He gets laughing.

Getting cattle.

Choose from over 600 amazing items.

From home electronics to home theaters.

This is going to bounce around.

This is going to be fun.

fun. We got a voicemail.

See if it's from someone angry.

Probably some white kid.

I don't think so.

There was an error with my request.

Fuck you.

Listen, I asked to speak specifically to a man at the beginning of my conversations to your organization.

No, I want to speak to, I only give that information to a man.

Well, who's the highest ranking gentleman there?

There isn't one on duty tonight.

That would be myself.

How long have you been working for the company?

I don't want to work with this, you know, woman like that.

Yeah, I don't know.

I mean, if you don't know what's going on, like, you don't know how to handle situations and stuff.

You ought to go talk to a man.

Just as capable of handling any situation that any man is capable of.

That's nice, honey.

That's nice.

Okay, honey, that's nice.

Should have drugged it out.

I'll call her back.

What was her name?

What was her name, folks?

Does anyone remember?

Kimberly, Jennifer, Jessica, Suzy, Chocha.

Let me see.

I want to say Kelly.

Kelly?

You're working for the Kelly.

I want to work with this, you know, woman like that.

Yeah, I don't know.

And if you don't know what's going on,

you don't know how to handle situations and stuff,

you better talk to a man.

I'm pretty sure it's Kelly.

I'm capable of handling any situation that any man is capable of.

That's nice, honey.

That's nice.

Okay, honey, that's nice.

All right, so what's a good room number to choose?

Should I say, like, 120 or something?

Give me an idea.

We got a voicemail here.

Let's see where this came from.

Hello, this is JR with Hijinx Toll.

Try something in the twos.

If you could, please give us a call back.

We didn't get the whole message.

You have the number.

Okay.

That's the Hijinx place.

Let's try to give them a call back here.

That's the fucking tolling.

I should have drugged it out.

I'll call it back.

Fuck you, Carlito.

Tell me what I should do and not do.

Fuck that.

We'll call the Aquarius first.

I'm going to call them back.

It's Kelly, eh?

Kelly it is.

To the old lady at the front desk.

This is Dolores at your service.

Hey, Big Dolores.

How are you?

What do you say there, tits?

Hey, can you get me through to Kelly?

Is her name Kelly, the polite white manager girl?

Hold on.

Hey, listen.

Yes?

Listen, remember when I told you that I didn't want to talk to a woman,

not that I wanted to talk to a man?

Yeah.

But how come I ended up talking to a woman again?

I don't know.

Who's the man that's the manager?

Tell me, I like you, Dolores.

We're okay, all right?

I'm sorry.

I don't want to give you trouble.

Is there a man that's a manager there?

At the front desk?

Anywhere.

Anywhere there right now.

Let me see. I don't know, sir. I'm, you know, I'll have to find out who's on.

Hold on a minute, okay?

Well, can you give me a name of someone during the day?

Well, that's why I'm trying to, uh, I'm going to find out for you. Hold on a second.

All right, honey.

Okay.

All right, sweetie. All right, good. We're going to find out.

Very important that you know what you're dealing with at all times, kids that are listening.

It's the pit boss.

Vincent the pit boss. It's the kid.

Yeah, we talked to the kid first, right?

And I said I didn't want to talk to him.

He was never a manager. He was just some kid that answered the phone.

and I thought, oh, God, man, I have such a bad memory.

I had the MTHC.

I don't know if I got a ring.

Beverage office, an employee calling off.

Please hang up and call PBX for the beverage manager on duty

or the cafe manager on duty.

Call complete.

Goodbye.

Aw.

Call back and ask for PBX or the, what is it, the beverage manager on duty?

Woman, I made a direct call.

All right, what's your deal there?

I'm sorry, sir.

Is Big Dolores there?

Dolores, may I ask this caller, please?

This is Valente.

She just transferred my call, but I got cut off.

She had someone specific that I needed to talk to, and I got through to the answer machine about if you're sick,

and it said to call back and to ask for the beverage manager.

Okay, so you want a beverage manager?

No, I need to speak to a gentleman, like a man, who's in charge.

I have to make a complaint about two employees now.

Okay, one moment, please, sir.

Hey, listen, who are you transferring me to?

Before, I want names.

Hold on one second, sir.

I want the information.

Busy.

I wish I could smoke a cigar and not have a cigar.

I haven't had a cigar in so long.

This is the fucking tobacco.

Keep drinking Crystal Light.

No, it can't be good for me.

It's going to fuck me up something bad one day.

What was the girl manager's name again?

Kelly?

Kimberly?

That all sounded the same to me.

That all looked the same.

Let me give you security, okay?

One moment, please.

Fuck me.

He heard it.

He heard it all.

Listen, this isn't fair.

This isn't fair.

Keep getting put around and transferred around, speaking to women and all this stuff.

What's going on?

What's your deal?

This is core of a security.

I didn't ask for security.

Why am I talking to you?

Who are you calling for?

This is Valente.

I called to get information about some, you know, money that got misplaced that I lost.

And I got transferred to a woman who shouldn't be very rudely, and I wanted to call back and make a complaint against her.

And then Dolores, who I think is, you know, has got something going on with this old woman.

You know who Dolores is?

No.

Bless her heart.

I mean, she sounds like a nice, sweet old lady, but the woman mis-transferred me and I got hung up on an apparel and I'm supposed to speak to the beverage manager on duty.

Okay.

The first thing I want to ask you is, we have a centralized operator out of the Stratus in Las Vegas.

Which hotel are you trying to contact?

I was speaking with Dolores, and she had all the information all figured out.

We talked for 10 minutes, and she figured it out and everything.

So are you telling me that I have to give you all this information again?

Because if I do, I'm going to have a fight now on the phone.

I'm going to have a fit.

I'm going to get so sick, sick to my stomach.

This isn't fair.

If you're not willing to talk to me, then there's not really any reason for us to talk on the phone.

You have to say.

Which prime to get a hold of?

I'm sure you have the right prime.

The Aquarius.

For the fifth time tonight, you know, can I curse?

Is that okay?

Or should I not curse?

No, because I'm not going to talk with you, okay?

I have a curse.

Don't accuse me of cursing.

I'm just telling you before I do.

No, I'm not going to put up with it.

I'm trying to help you.

You can either cooperate with me or not.

At this point, I'm pairing whether you want to cooperate with me or not.

David.

Damn it.

I'm good.

He was doing good.

You got a little spasm of Tourette's there, Hermione.

He was doing good.

Damn it.

Got a little Tourette's going on there.

That's a caper.

No, but I had him going.

I should have kept stringing him along.

He was totally buying it.

Locking out, clanging sinker.

The Tourette's, Hermione, oh, God.

That's me having a fit.

Oh, shit.

I want to call back.

I just got...

Yep.

Call back.

All right, here we go.

It's on.

This is Chumman.

Did I hear a call?

Can I speak to Dolores, please?

Dolores, who is this?

This is Valente.

One moment.

Hurry up.

She's on a break right now.

It's ridiculous.

F*** security.

You want security now?

Corey for security, yeah.

Because I need to make complaints, and there's no man manager there, is there?

One moment, sir. Hold on.

No, no, wait. Listen. Hey, name.

Okay, you wanted to speak with the security, right?

No, listen, listen. What's your name?

No, what is the problem, sir? Tell me first.

I have to make complaints about employees, and I think I'm going to make a complaint about another one, so what's your name?

Okay, you got to make a complaint with who? With who? In the casino or where?

Yeah, but I've explained my story. Corey's already working with me. He said I could call him back.

Okay, and you're calling him back, right?

You tell Corey that I'm returning his call, is what you say to him. You understand?

Okay, I'll tell him.

What's your name? Because I want to put you down now in the complaint. You're involved in the complaint.

I'm involved now?

Yeah, what's your name?

My name is Jed.

My name is Jed. I'll spell it for you. J-E-D, as in dog.

Where are you from? Philippines?

That's my name. Yes. And my last name is...

I smell that one out. You're Filipino, aren't you?

Yes.

You know how I could tell? I could tell really easily, sir.

My accent, probably?

Yeah, whatever. Go ahead and put me through to Corey.

Okay. Thank you. What is your name, sir?

Valente.

Thank you.

Good.

We have a new character called Fitman. He has fists and he just does that.

Talk to me when you come back.

Corey, security.

Ridiculous, sir. Ridiculous.

this is there an address that i can write to to complain a p.o box somewhere where i can write a

letter and complain about this horrible service that i've gotten from cory from the filipino kid

from dolores from this from the snotty girl that um that answered the phone in the casino when i

made the complaint about the money that got taken from me and there was this other white kid called

vincent or something like that it was a little feminine also it was a little jerk to me well

why don't i do this don't threaten listen to run around the first thing is you don't threaten me

Don't you dare threaten me anymore.

You were never threatened, but I'll tell you this right now.

I'm not going to talk to you.

Continue, okay?

You can change how you want to deal with this by the way your attitude is with me.

You've never spoke with me until the previous phone call, okay?

And I've tried to be polite, and I've tried to assist you,

but I'm not going to if you're ranting and raving and carrying on and making funny noises on the phone, okay?

Now, what I was going to suggest is why don't you talk to my supervisor,

and then maybe he can take whatever complaints you have about the employees that you've dealt with previously.

You know, Corey, what you think are funny noises are not that to me.

It's a problem that I have.

Do you want to talk to the supervisor?

It's a problem that I have.

They're not funny noises, sir.

I've dealt with this since I was a teenager.

What's with the breathing?

Team up there, mana.

It's not Tourette's, it's Fitz.

I got the Fitz.

You know, he just loved it.

When he picked up the phone, it's, oh my God, it's just...

The first thing he hears is...

He's probably like, oh no.

You gonna be calling her

Making fun of noises

I ain't gonna talk to you

Fits are fun that's fine

Watch her ass dude

Nunu says Dolores is okay

Yeah Dolores is a sweetheart

I'm gonna call Dolores back when she's back from her break

We'll wait like 15 minutes

Talk to her about

I gotta feel like she'd be like

She'd be cool with us

We talk to her about Corey

See if she knows Corey

yeah i should have sucked another bark in there incredible says you're right i should have i had

time to do it oh my god i just look at some of the comments about that about fit man fit man

i'll have to call him fit man but the guy's not he's not fit it's not like i'm i'm fit

as in healthy just having psychological fits fitman ralph fitman jack fitman yeah ralph

little john jack yeah we need a better first name than jack it's too generic people hear jack

yeah right cory there we go cory fitman i like it we'll take his name in honor of it

cory fitman guy has fits he gets angry and starts making weird noises the first time i did it the

guy was like what the fuck he heard it was like yeah i'm quiet it's like if you're in that he's

like if you're gonna make fun of noises what did i say to him i think can i curse i asked him first

and being polite can i curse no no no yeah no no no like don't you dare cursing me we'll call

back later and see if we get to cory's manager it's quite a convoluted soap opera now it started

with me losing money talking to the pit boss now we're now we like this old lady dolores

and having fits on the phone with cory insecurity

that's why if we weren't listening that other woman wouldn't answer the phone i probably

I probably wouldn't be bothering them still.

Listen!

What's your name?

Donna.

I asked you that, you know, you didn't even say that when I was, you might have picked

up the phone, so I had to ask you.

No, I said it.

I didn't hear it.

Okay.

Is there a man that I could speak to?

A man.

A man?

Department.

Like, the answers to phones?

There's only one operator.

Is that you?

When is there a man who's the operator?

Like, later tomorrow or something?

No, there's no men here that work in the operator.

I mean, are you good?

How long have you been doing it for?

Eight years.

I mean, you're pretty good?

Did you mess up?

Do we ever do the wrong numbers and stuff?

Sometimes.

Of course, because you're a woman.

Because you're a woman?

No, not because I'm a woman, because we make mistakes sometimes.

Hey, listen, I got a problem.

What?

I came in and I lost a sum of money.

In the hotel?

Mm-hmm, in the casino.

Oh, what'd you put?

Okay.

All right, so I don't know if I should talk to security or the pit boss or what.

Oh, you mean you actually lost it?

Lost it?

Not like in the machine?

No, I lost it.

I lost money.

You know, I lost the money.

Oh, wow.

Okay, no, I'll give you security.

Hold on, okay?

Who's the guy there?

I'm not sure who's in charge of security right now, but I'll turn you over to their dispatcher.

I never got your name.

Donna.

All right, Donna.

Bye, honey.

Okay.

Thank you, honey.

Okay, bye.

She wants it.

She wants it, guys.

Lower your voice, first of all.

What is your deal?

What is this?

Why are you talking so loud?

I'm not.

Lower your voice a little bit, please.

Yeah, I am.

You still haven't lowered your voice at all.

Hello?

Control copy.

Control?

Yeah, we got attacked by the security.

No, no, no.

We lost the stream.

I was like, it's back down.

No, good.

We lost some listening.

us because of that sorry guys or we got it back um if you know anybody who doesn't know about that

let them know chat room etc let them know back back and so i don't know how much of the that

prank call you guys heard it was pretty good another security call talked weird the guy's

got our number and he'll be calling us back apparently and that's fine because we utilize

the google voice system um we got a transcript not available here apparently someone did not

leave a message so still waiting on a call back from this guy uh yeah definitely gonna have to

to try calling back to uh that other casino from earlier also the aquarius mark that down

was it was the aquarius that i was called yes it was the aquarius and then just now we called

fitzgerald's okay and that was fun also we're waiting on a call back from fitzgerald's

all right el dorado casinos next year or we can do greek let's go greek now i don't know

what the casino is right now chris how you doing listen i need to make a complaint order something

specifically and i got something totally different did you order i don't know so my

My friend had told me there was this stuff called malacca,

and I obviously got something completely different.

My friend told me to order malacca.

It was this stuff that was good.

I got something like lamb.

Nothing sweet, nothing like that at all.

So, like, what's the deal?

I get an order for that.

Like, I can't remember, are you still serving food?

Like, can I still order that?

But someone obviously got my order wrong, so.

Who?

It's pretty American.

I don't hear any good Greek music.

Yeah, I know.

Well, before they did, they had something.

Well, that's Greek.

Well, there's some bazookas or something.

No, it's Greek.

The woman singing is singing in Greek.

It's a modern Greek song.

Is this a woman?

No, I'm a drag queen.

What do you want?

Excuse me?

Someone messed up my order, and why are you talking to me like that?

Who messed up your order?

I'm Christian, and I don't appreciate being talked to.

Are you being fresh?

What kind of place is this?

I thought this was, like, you know, a legitimate place.

Who messed up your order?

I don't even know who you are.

Someone just handed me the phone.

Well, I understand why you said you were a drag queen.

Like what's that

What's that about

What are you trying to say

Are you

Are you into this

I was joking

You asked me if I was a woman

Good

I asked to speak to the manager

I'm the owner

Oh my god

No wonder

Oh I'm sorry

What did he say

That got you so upset

I made an order

That got messed up

The man messed up my order

He gave me this lamb dish

Instead of what I ordered

Well my friend told me to order

Honey

What did you order

My friend is from Kos

In Greece

Right

Okay

He's from there

He

He works with me in the pizza place.

He told me to order, and he wrote it down.

Hang on.

He said, sweet, he said, sweet malaka, malaka, M-A-L-A-K-A.

And then what I got was like meat.

He called you malaka?

No, he said that to order this, that it's from his island in Kos, in Greece, that malaka.

He said, sweet malaka.

No, but I don't understand.

I made that order.

I ended up with lamb or something, and this guy's refusing to, he's refusing to, like, you know, take care of the problem.

Like, I want this, to get this straightened out.

Like, I want the food, but I'm not going to pay again.

I'm not eating this.

No, that's fine.

I'll refund your, I'll refund your money.

Well, this isn't what I ordered.

What did you order?

We have nothing on our menu that has that name.

You know.

The name Malacca means something very bad.

It's, I don't mind.

I mean, if it, I don't care that if it's an ethnic food.

you might think that it tastes bad because you may not be Greek.

But my friend is from Greece, and he says that it's a good thing.

So I don't appreciate, first of all, you making presumptions

because things are different, that it don't taste good.

Because you're not, you know, this is not standard American food maybe that you're used to.

My friend's from Greece. You understand?

So are we.

Well, you're obviously joking around. You're making jokes about drag queen.

You asked me if I was a woman.

Well, I mean, obviously you see the situation right now,

the kind of, you know, seriousness that you have on the phone.

When did you come and pick up your order?

Can I talk to the owner or, like, the manager?

You were talking to the manager.

Who's in charge?

I am.

Is there another, like, a man there, like, who's the manager instead of you?

No, you were talking to the manager.

There's someone else I could talk to, like a man that I could talk to, right?

Because maybe he'll understand me better than you.

He doesn't understand English.

Because I can get my friend on the phone. He's from Greece.

What did you order and when did you pick it up?

I ordered M-A-L-A-K-A is what he wrote down here.

We don't have that.

No, because when I called in, the person said, oh, yeah, we got it.

And then I ended up with this.

Not at this restaurant.

It most definitely was this restaurant.

I'm kind of wishing now that it wasn't.

This is a bad restaurant.

It's a bad restaurant.

Bad food and bad people here.

Bad people come here, too, from a bad place.

Okay.

Sorry you feel that way.

When did you pick up the order?

It's a shame that you people are going off like you're Greek food, authentic Greek food, when you're not.

And there's real Greek people out there who are trying to make a living and have their own businesses.

And people like you come from other places and imitate and don't give the decent food and don't give the right food that you're supposed to give.

What are you talking about?

Who's this?

This is Spiro, man.

You see, I've been asking...

Listen, I've been asking to talk to you for quite some time.

I want your name, I want your...

Come over here and see me, man.

Listen...

If you want to talk on the phone, what the hell are you talking about?

Take down my information.

I can't see your face, come over here with me.

You people messed up my order again.

Okay, let me tell you one thing, okay?

If you have a problem, I'll take care of you, okay?

You're threatening me?

Are you threatening me?

No, I'm not on the phone, what the hell are you talking about?

Listen, I made an order and I got the wrong thing.

What's your name?

What's your name this is this is Valente Valente now listen. I made an order for this food

And I got something else name man under what's name you the one I carry home to guy everything so you messed up my shit

What you're talking about you messed up my you messed up my shit you put the wrong food in there listen

Whatever they don't you know what you fed you know where you were supposed to feed me

Okay, that's what you're supposed to do, and that's I think that's what you are malaga. We don't have my what's that mean?

You're a malacca.

You don't know what I got there.

All right?

Pustis.

Crazy.

They kicked you out of the Greek Navy because you're a pustis.

Crazy.

Pustis means gay.

So I told him that he's a gay.

You're crazy, pustis.

You're crazy.

You come over and talk to my face so I could see your face.

I couldn't get to you.

You like making fun of Greek people a lot, huh, Milkman?

You like that?

Do you like that?

No, I like a malaka.

That's a very sweet...

Quiet.

I heard they kicked you out of the Greek Navy because you're a pussy.

What did he say?

You go to Halbaro.

All right.

Malaka, everybody.

Malaka.

The pleasure is to make from the Greek people, apparently.

Did Carlito check his voicemail yet?

I was listening to the big girl prank, the escort.

The big girl.

The big girl prank?

Oh, did we have one?

Yeah.

Yeah, we had one recently where I was like, yeah, I want a big girl.

are you a big girl

you like that

I remember that yeah

you like that girl

that was pretty good

you remember that

it was like a

escort and I was like

yeah I want to talk

to a big girl

she's like well

I'm kind of big

she called back

they got like this

they got their

biggest girl to call back

she's like I'm kind of big

and like she told me

her like dimensions

and she wasn't really

that big

and I started saying

like she was really big

and she got offended

and upset

that's really

fucking rude to her

and then she's like

don't you fucking

waste my fucking time

Why didn't you call back his number?

She said some shit like that.

You need to wonder what Pustis is.

Pustis is gay.

Oh, man.

I would not.

Yeah.

Milkman, stop doing that, please.

Milkman, I'm going to mute you if you do it again.

Okay?

Baz, and you were right.

I should have asked him for a bucket of boners.

I know.

They have a mute button for stuff like that.

Yeah.

Good.

Tuck, you get a gold star for that.

Good point.

That's right.

You listen to Tuck, Milkman.

You don't make fart and you don't make burp on the phone, on the microphone.

fun you can put it in mute and you move your bowels you're the malacca you know i took some

malacca it was kind of creepy you're the malacca new sending in a number he says damn it let's

send in good numbers tonight thanks man we're having fun we're having a good time i might i

might just stay on late motherfuckers i might just do that test tomorrow work on my lunch break

Fuck it, let's keep going.

Yeah!

Yeah.

All right, terrible town.

We got the terrible town, casino, and bowl.

A Latina woman answered there.

But first, I say we should try to call Big Dolores.

You gonna call Dolores back since she's back from break?

Dolores.

You know what Dolores means?

It's Spanish for pains.

I don't get it.

Oh, I thought it was like mouthwash, LaRoyce.

I think it's supposed to be like the pain of Jesus and the crucifixion.

That's where it comes from.

Dolores.

I told her her name was Playa.

LaRoyce.

This is Rose.

How may I direct your call?

Where's Big Dolores?

Pardon me?

Big Dolores.

Big Dolores?

Yeah.

What is that, sir?

There's some woman there named Dolores.

Answers the phone.

Can I have a call right now?

Can I help you with something?

No, go see her.

I'm returning her call.

Okay, hold on, sir.

What's your name?

My name is Rose.

Is this...

You're kind of rude.

Sir.

What?

Pardon me?

I'm sorry.

Okay, hold on one second while I transfer your call.

All right, honey.

She was short with you.

Transfer the beverage station again.

Hotel operator Dolores at your service.

Dolores.

Oh, my God.

I had Rose on the other line, and she was totally bumming me out, man.

Oh, she's ridiculous.

Do you work with her?

What can I help you with, sir?

Listen, you were supposed to get me through before to Corey.

You remember that guy, Corey?

Remember?

You know Corey?

Corey Insecurity.

Yeah, Corey Insecurity.

Hello.

Why are you sounding so far away?

Corey Insecurity.

Yes.

Would you like me to put you there?

No, no, no.

What's his deal, though?

Do you know what he looks like?

No, sir.

I have no idea.

I'm the hotel operator.

I don't see anyone.

He's kind of a jerk, though.

I mean, have you ever had complaints about him before?

No, sir.

I think he is, like, a jerk, right?

He sounds like it.

What can I do for you?

Well, no, because you seem pretty cool.

So, like, I was making these complaints.

I was writing up a complaint list.

Okay.

But, I mean, I'm going to, I'll take you off the list.

I had you on a member.

I told you I was going to make a complaint about you when we first talked, like, an hour ago.

But I don't want you to get in trouble.

So, I'm just saying, I'm not going to put you in the complaints that I'm making.

Okay.

Thank you.

What else can I do for you now?

Are you upset at me?

I thought we were cool.

No, we are cool.

Okay.

What can I do for you now?

Okay.

Where do you want me to send you now?

Where did you go?

What did you do on your break?

Did you smoke?

No, I don't smoke.

Where did you go to?

Did you get coffee?

Hello?

Sir, what can I do for you?

Did you make toilet?

Where would you like to go now?

Did you make toilet?

Sir.

Okay.

Let me talk to Kelly in the casino.

Thank you.

Thank you, sweetie.

Toilet.

Casino.

You sound like a teaching child.

Thank you.

She's Sina.

Sister Mary Elephant.

Milkman, quiet.

Thank you.

There's some talk in the background there.

I was trying to listen.

Hey, Kelly.

Kelly, listen.

I don't want to have to put you in this complaint that I'm making for the company.

You were rude to me.

You were disrespectful to me.

So I'm coming to you and I'm giving you an opportunity as a man to apologize like a man right now

for being mean, for being rude, and for hanging up the phone on me.

Do you know who you are?

This is Valente.

Who?

Valente.

How do you spell the name?

V-A-L-E-N-T-E.

Valente.

And is that your last name?

No, just Valente.

Valente's good.

No, I need to know what room you're in.

I'm just concerned that, you know,

someone could,

people could take it out.

Take it out on me.

Take what out on you?

That I'm making this complaint.

That, you know, I'm so...

I need to know what room you're in

so I can...

Listen, my wife is going to kill me

when she finds out.

Okay, well, I need to know what room you're in, sir.

My money got taken.

But what if my wife finds out?

Then let me call security.

But the guy, I talked to Corey.

You're talking to me.

Corey and security and, you know, can you, can you.

You're talking to me.

Can you conference me?

You're not talking to a Corey.

Do you have conference?

Yes, sir.

Okay, can you conference with Corey and security, please?

Corey and security?

Yes.

Okay, hang on one second.

Charlie's boulder.

There is no Corey and security.

You know, that's a lord of horse.

Because I was just talking to Corey.

I had a long conversation with Corey about some stuff that's going on,

and I don't appreciate it, ma'am.

Okay, well, I'm just letting you know there is no Corey working.

And I can't go by Valente.

I need to know what room you're in.

When you have a computer machine, maybe you don't know how to use it.

Are you insulting me and my capability of this?

Because now you're being rude.

I just, you know, I've been going around and around in circles here,

And I still don't get answers

But I mean you are

You're not giving anybody information

You're not giving me information

As to what room you're in

Or you're just giving me Valente

I can't help you with Valente

I need to know what room you're in

But let's call a spade a spade

How many Y chromosomes do you have?

Okay

This conversation's ending

You can take my name

And you can put it in

Whatever

I can shove it up my ass

How rude of you

I'm writing that down

I didn't say that

This phone conversation's being recorded

I'm recording it too

I have permission

But you don't have my permission

To record a conversation

conversation isn't listening seriously though guys let's call a spade a spade or let's just i

want to hear that line again let's call a spade a spade you're not giving anybody information

you're not giving me information as to what room you're in or you're just giving me valente i can't

help you with valente i need to know what room you're in but let's call a spade a spade how

many y chromosomes do you have okay this conversation's ending you can take my name

and you can put it in whatever i can shove it up my ass how rude of you i'm writing that down

I didn't say that.

This phone conversation is being recorded.

I'm recording it too.

I have permission.

But you don't have my permission to record a conversation.

All right, that's true.

She does not.

Good job, Mr. Fritman.

So is that not the place with Corey?

Was Corey the other?

Now I'm confused.

Now I forget.

Now I don't know what's what.

Imagine that.

Let me go back.

I could have sworn it has to be because remember I was talking about Dolores too.

Unless it was Fitzgerald was the one where the show crashed.

I can't fuck him with a guy.

I was supposed to get a call back from there and I haven't yet.

Yeah, I think you need to call him back. Aquarius or something like that.

Aquarius is the one we just called. Corey's gone.

That's funny though. Don't make Dolores get him upset.

Alright, Milkman sending in a number from his car haul from Richmond Hill.

She's 62 and the worst driver in the world.

What are your sources?

Yeah, from Nunez.

Okay, good.

That's Nunez.

That's Nuna.

Okay, good.

Why is she the worst driver?

Did she have an article that Nuna read?

I don't know.

He didn't give me specifics.

He's been bugging the hell out of me here for a while.

Nuna has a boil on one of his tests on his ball sack he was telling me earlier today.

Yeah.

He said it's Guy Fawkes Day or Night in the UK, and he was a real hothead in the end.

Okay.

All right.

EFES Turkish Cuisine.

Let's call them and talk shit about the Greeks.

They're always up for that.

And we'll get to that milk fan.

Don't worry.

Go find a new new.

What's the

Work. You're gonna fly, bitches.

Okay. Bengal Tiger. East

East Indian Cuisine, Seattle, Washington.

I need to make an order, please.

What do you like?

I like the chicken tandoori.

Yes.

I like, yeah, chicken.

Chicken spaces.

How many spaces come with that?

How many spaces come with the chicken?

How many pieces?

Spaces.

What type of chicken?

Tandoori chicken.

How many spaces are in it?

Tandoori chicken, it has two leg and two thigh chicken.

Four pieces.

Four, four, four.

I need to make an order.

Are you taking on the order or do I have to go through the guy?

I'm going to take an order.

All right, one chicken tandoori, one pho.

I'm sorry?

One pho.

Uh-huh.

What the?

Yes.

Go ahead.

One chicken tandoori.

I got it.

One pho.

Banchot.

You know that?

Forget me?

I fucked last night with your mom?

How many fathers do you have?

You have it.

I'm your father.

Five fathers?

How many?

Yeah.

You're more than I just had possibly.

You know that?

Don't curse.

Please, don't curse.

Okay?

Can I still get that pho?

Banchot.

That was fun.

That was a good one.

some guy's pounding meat in the back

or something

cutting onions

in the back are you like hello

well that was funny he got pretty angry

did you hear that one milkman

oh my god that was funny

it's probably too late to catch up

he hesitated

and then goes you mother fucker

yeah it's way too late

did you hear the music in the background

did you hear the music

yeah

yeah that was good man

Man, we're having a good night tonight.

I hung him up.

Oh, you were listening to the playback.

I was listening to the playback, yeah.

I was trying to get him in time to see if I could get him to see a motherfucker like he did.

But I couldn't.

It wasn't quick enough.

Got a new keyboard I'm using here.

Got it last week.

Two weeks ago, though.

That sounds good, man.

The keyboard sounds good?

Thanks.

Appreciate it.

Man.

Incredible saying, Couscous Almond.

It's like one of those high-level cat ears or something.

Couscous.

Couscous Almond.

That's Arabic for your mother's cunt.

It's supposed to be.

Apparently, didn't we get lectured last week for, like, 10 minutes by some guy from Turkey or something?

Didn't we call somebody and say, Couscous Olmec, it's like, you're so stupid.

Like, you lectured me while Couscous was from Africa or something like that.

I forgot what it was.

Didn't that happen a few shows ago?

Right at the beginning?

Yeah, Couscous is a type of pasta they have in the Middle East.

Yeah, but C-U-S-C-U-S means cunt, and Olmec means your mother.

So, I did have an ex-girlfriend who was from Egypt, and she had told me that.

That was a common curse in Egypt, at least.

It was couscous olmec is your mother's cunt.

You just go up and say, hey, your mother's cunt.

Your mother's cunt.

Alrighty, that was really funny.

I really want to hear that call again.

We had to call him back sometime.

I'm glad we didn't have a crash in the moment.

98.5.

We don't have enough time to call Russia.

We got like 43 cents left of credit.

I could re-up it, though.

Because that 10 bucks lasted me like a month.

We called the shit out of Russia and Vietnam and stuff.

It really wasn't to call Russia.

Well, that guy in Russia was kind of good.

We had a lot of fun with Iran.

Yeah, but last week, actually, Iran wasn't that good.

They had that one hotel where they were kind of funny.

It's a regular answer machine, and when you get those,

you always make that attempt to try to hack into it.

We've done that before several, a few times, and it's been a while, though.

I've always tried to crack.

You do, like, all ones, all twos, all threes, all zeros, one, two, three, four.

Then you start patterns, yeah.

Zero, zero, zero, zero.

And then after you get in, if you're lucky enough that you catch it,

it confirms when it beeps back at you, then you've got to know what the menus are.

a lot of the really old ones don't don't tell you message wrists bother me that means all that's

from basing that turkey earlier wasn't it all right all right this this is one of the songs

it sounds cool at first but it gets to be very maddening after a while let's change that there

we go a little better that one's way too like over and over again pass and indian cuisine let's

see if they're open no that's the one we just tried fuck we'll do the clay oven indian restaurant

around then. Let's try to order pho again.

Someone was commenting

in a chat about your beats

and do you make them

or did you find them somewhere?

Did I make the, uh, the what?

The beats? This is your MF Doom.

I got you now. MF Doom.

MF Doom. Andy, um,

used to co-host a show with me. Good friend of mine.

Uh, he, uh,

had some of MF, he had like a few

MF Doom, uh, regular albums

and MF Doom is like, he makes a lot of

beats and he releases them like in

CDs, he even has a box set of them all

and all his albums, he releases

instrumental versions of a lot of stuff

of all his stuff, and he's got

instrumentals of rap, like songs he hasn't

even used yet, like in two years later

you'll finally hear an album come out with him

with that beat, finally rapping over it with

someone else, like from Wu-Tang Clang or something

anyway, it's MF Doom, he goes

by Doom Only Now

he had an album that came out

in the spring, called

Born Like This, it was pretty good

we played that when it came out that week

I got it

anyway yeah

MF Doom

check him out

his instrumental ones

are the ones that are called

Special Herbs

I think there's up to like

10 albums

right now

I got a torrent

with all his stuff

all of his

you know

instrumentals that he's made

got tons and tons of them

and yeah

I've been playing them

for like since

god

since like 2006

there's so many of them

I just put them in a random loop

and just play them during the show

yeah if I hear a dumb one

I usually

fast forward it

go to the next track

that's when you hear

you hear a song

start like ah god

I'll pass it

see what this is this one is called dragon's blood resin yeah not bad and then the other

ones that i use are from dan the automator uh he hasn't had a lot of stuff come out lately but dan

the automator is pretty good with instrumental stuff and he's a pretty good producer also he's

been involved in a lot of projects at the gorilla tomato dan the automator nakamura i think he's

japanese milkman you might be into him check him out i think he's half japanese all right

turn i said i was gonna call go to bed and the show already but we're having too much fun tonight

hello an order is it too late no no problem to go yeah well i mean do you deliver what would you

like because if you deliver them i'm just a little paranoid that ethnic people come to my house

you know what would you like americans um i'll go there and get it okay to go right yeah sure

what is your phone number 407-459-434 put in a pistachio ice and mango ice cream all right so

So just to recap, so far we got lawn bread, right, from the beginning.

We got the two chickens right now, too, right?

Yeah, that's right.

Okay, well, he wrote that, and let me get this paper here.

He stepped out, but Bhenchod, B-H-N, and then C-H-O-D.

We don't have.

Why not?

No, what is it, Ben?

Yes.

Do you have a website access?

No, no.

You don't have our menu?

Well, he told me what to order.

He said Bhenchod.

No, we don't have nothing like that.

Where are you from?

Excuse me?

Where are you people from?

From Punjab.

No, you're not, because you don't have these foods.

You don't understand the food, because this man said that this is...

He's from India.

No, but we don't have nothing like that.

Can I speak to the manager, or like an Indian person?

Sure.

The Indian. I want to talk to Indians only.

Hey, we lost the stream, but we're back now.

You didn't miss much, guys.

MSG3Clay, I don't know which one it is that you're talking about.

I'm looking at the history of the chat.

70s instructional short opening from AIT in Canada.

One that I don't know.

Let me go through. Let me go to my recently played.

I'll play them now, and I'll tell you what they are.

All right, folks. It is 12.17 a.m.

Should we plod through? Should we continue?

What are your options? I've got the guys on mute.

Oops, I'm sorry. Hang on.

Let me unmute yous. All right.

That wasn't as fun. That Banshee Kobo's not as fun.

We're going to pass on Indians from now.

We've got some Chinese, including the Porto Call Chinese Buffet in Las Vegas.

I'm sure they're open.

Shanghai Garden Restaurant, Big Johnson Highway and Gas.

We talked about those quite some time ago.

go uh we got a lot of numbers here from england that have come through it is nice and early over

there right now voicemail is incredible voicemail from incredible fine it better be good let's see

see if i can get that here

All right, man.

That's cool.

Kick ass.

Yeah, Milkman enjoyed that one.

Milkman's over there right now, like, hi.

Yeah, Milkman, this person's in California.

You might want to hook up.

I mean, hey.

Any port in the storm, eh?

My port in the storm, eh?

Eh?

Yeah, well, it'll be bad.

It'll feel bad.

It's good that he's giving you and Milkman, huh?

Yeah.

Yeah, hey, guys, I got to take a break.

Madhouse Radio is live Thursday nights at 10 p.m. Eastern.

Why don't you shut the hell up?

Fuck you! Fuck you fucking piece of shit!

Be sure to visit us online at madhouselive.com.

Calls (16, 59 min of 1 h 44 min)

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