Honoruru

Do you people, like, urinate and shit in the food or something over there?

Because I got so fucking sick the other day when I ate.

I fuck you, you know.

Fuck you, someone.

Hey, you now call, okay?

I call, please, you know.

Oh, come on, man.

No, dog, dog.

Look, I wasn't being serious.

You understand?

I'm sorry.

Come on.

I'm sorry.

I fuck you, you.

I'm sorry.

Come on, really.

Son of a bitch.

No, no, no.

Fuck you.

How about this?

How about you quit fucking crank calling this goddamn store, bitch?

who the fuck is this

fuck who is this

you are listening to the madhouse radio podcast

the motherfuckers

on the stream the music stopped playing

for some reason it kicked over to the mic

on my webcam for some reason

right in the middle right when I was setting up the show

at what point did it happen tell me please tell me troubleshoot

help me help you good evening

it's madhouse radio I'm Carlito

starting at 10.44pm

not bad huh at least I did it

at least I started I could have just said no

No. No. It started to go to dead about 10.15.

That doesn't help me.

If you want to send your prank request, you can do that by emailing madhouselive at gmail.com.

Also, send me your request on AOL Messenger, Yahoo Messenger.

If you send a message to Madhouse Radio, that's Madhouse Radio.

If you're on MSN Messenger, madhouseatlive.com.

And Twitter, forward slash madhouse.

Thank you everybody who's joining with us tonight.

Tonight, Kokanee and Tuck are both in the Satellite Studio Center, I believe.

You are there, aren't you?

Kokanee's in there.

Hey, Kokanee.

10-4, good buddy.

Thank you.

Tuck's polishing his shoes.

He has a big interview tomorrow.

He's putting the spit shine on the old black shoes tonight.

He hasn't worn in about a year.

It's that funeral he went to.

Tombstone wanted to request a prank.

Send it right now.

Just send it to me.

Just like you're talking right now, you send me a phone number and a name

And some information on it

And what you want

What you want me to do

Who am I saying

What am I going to say to you

You dirty motherfucker

Or something like that

Or should I ask

Is it a woman

Who's going to have

An abortion soon

That'd be funny

Yeah

That'd be a good idea

We could try that

He's having an abortion

Are you having an abortion

No I'm not

No

Hell

I'm not allowed to

I'm a Catholic

Oh okay

It's okay

I'm here now

There's situations going on

Hey

Welcome back

I'm here now

Good

at all. Awesome. I'm glad you're here.

That's Tuck. Tuck from Tuckermike.com

and the Revolutuck show. Tuck, you had

a show earlier today. You had some pretty good

prank calls on there.

They weren't today.

They weren't today? You had good

pranks on there today. I think I heard some stuff that was

pretty funny. You think so?

Holy shit, dude. That was

bombing. I don't know. I was listening with Athena

and we were laughing at a few of them.

You didn't do pranks. You were laughing at me

failing. The only thing that I think is missing

for me shows you need to jump right into the pranks

right when you start fucking just going there.

Jump in there.

Do the pranks, man. Just don't hold back, man.

Just fucking do it live, man.

Live. Live. Yeah, yeah.

That's, uh, I discussed it on the show

today. I'm sort of, this week

it's kind of, uh, I'm not very

creative. I'm not very creative

right now. I don't know. Maybe.

Do you think maybe you got, uh, you need some B12?

Maybe. Something, right?

Right? There might be something lacking.

Maybe.

Maybe? You should look into that.

Maybe get the fucking heat out of the fucking atmosphere would help too.

Yeah, it's hot everywhere.

That's what I'm saying with it.

I mean, I don't understand, man.

I'm watching these people in Russia.

It's 91 degrees Fahrenheit over there, and they're going to die.

15,000 of them are going to die in Moscow or something.

And it's been like 90...

Take off the fucking fuzzy hat, you'll be all right.

Yeah, it's 95 plus here where I live in Florida for like a month probably,

maybe more than that at this point.

And there's nobody dying left and right.

What's wrong with those people?

They're fucking weak.

They wouldn't have survived nuclear war against us because they can't stand the heat.

They've got to get out of the kitchen.

That's what Benjamin Franklin said when he was president.

He was one of our best presidents, Benjamin Franklin.

Well, the problem is here, too.

It's comfortable in here, but what it is, it's upstairs, and the humidity is rising.

And when the humidity pressure rises, I don't care what the temperature is in here, you start baking.

Yeah, hey, Tuck, did you, I sent you that link.

For the pressure.

Tuck, I sent you the link about the story about the gay, imagine, a gay male flight attendant.

I don't think there's such a thing as a straight male flight attendant.

I've never met one before.

Imagine a gay flight attendant.

All right, so the guy, you heard about this, right?

Or you saw, there's no video about it.

I wish, I really wish someone would have recorded that in a cell phone just to see it.

No clue what you're talking about.

All right, so listen.

If this isn't Timmy, I'm...

All right, listen.

The guy goes out with balls, okay?

He's a JetBlue flight attendant.

The flight lands.

One of those up there in New York where all those freaks live.

One of those...

Uh-oh, police is outside.

You hear that?

Police out there.

They're probably pulling over a black.

I live on the edge of in town, if you know what I mean.

So anyway...

No, what do you mean?

JetBlue plane lands.

Woman gets up.

Says it's a woman.

I'm presuming she's African American

And I'll tell you why when I explain the story

But she's standing up

You probably don't go on flying machines

As you call them very often

Living in Tennessee

But I go on occasionally

And there's a very rude thing

Two rude things that people do

Number one, when your plane lands

You're still taxiing and you're right down your cell phone

Calling your people

Oh, I just landed

That's an asshole thing to do

And the second thing is

is to start bringing down your luggage from the overhead compartment

before the plane has even stopped yet, you know.

That's a very rude thing to do.

And from what I understand, they say when they land every time, you know,

they say it like at least twice.

It's the stupid FAA regulation that you're not supposed to stand up

until the plane is done taxiing.

Everyone usually, except for some old person who doesn't get it,

you stay sitting down.

The minute you feel the plane go back a little bit, you know it's stopped

and everyone takes off their seatbelts at the same time so this woman obviously uh she doesn't

understand or she's just uncouth and uh the flight attendant does his job because they're probably

pushing on him because i bet you anything every once in a while in jet blue they have a passenger

on there who really works for jet blue and he's watching out for the flight attendant and not do

his job and not do his stuff so they can give him a bad review and they're gonna deny him his bonus

and give him shit try to fire him so he's gotta go up to this well that's probably how it works

stuck so he tells the woman hey listen sit back down do that she he's like being polite apparently

say listen woman sit back down until the plane stops and she she said you know go fuck yourself

to him and he wasn't having that and he said hey listen you apologize to me and he called and the

reason why no no racism intended but why i presume she was african-american was african-american was

was because she said, call them a mofo, according to the article.

I mean, hey, really, I don't know many white women who are going to say that.

Mofo, really? Like, for real? I don't know.

Unless maybe she might be from like...

Nowadays, you don't know.

You don't know, that's true. Yeah.

You got a point, good point.

Seriously, you really don't know.

Yeah, that'd be funny.

You got to think the whole Bryzilla equation goes into.

Maybe it was, maybe she was pregnant or Bryzilla.

You know what I mean?

I bet you anything it was Flo who was in, hanging out.

But regardless, she kept bringing down the luggage, and it hit the dude in the face.

It's a very, very Springer-y kind of world.

Yeah, but, okay, listen, Tuck.

The dude got hit in the face.

You know what I mean?

He got hit in the face, you fuck, with the luggage.

Right smack in the face, and he fucking had it.

Apparently, he had it, and the guy, okay, listen, and this is how you go out.

This is the way to quit a job.

He got arrested for it, but I think he's a fucking hero.

He's more of a hero than that guy, the pilot that landed the plane in the Hudson.

This guy is more of a hero.

He gets on the intercom system, and he curses everybody out on the plane,

particularly the lady who hit him in the head and the face with the luggage.

So I can imagine he's probably like, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, fuck you, you know, whatever.

I'm out this bitch.

And then he grabbed two beers from the galley, all right?

By this time, the plane had stopped.

He grabbed two beers from the galley.

He grabbed his luggage.

he opened the emergency exit

he throws his luggage down the slide

and slides down and goes into the airport

terminal, gets in his car and goes home

and the police go to his house

to find him and they catch him

and the article says

they caught him in the act of

sexual embrace with his partner

so that only leads you to think exactly what he got caught

in the middle of doing, he was having

homosexual style, he's one of the

members of the homosexual race

Was it Georgia or something?

something no i think it was new york or something or jersey or something one of those um liberal

states you know then what is new york givership uh no he got arrested because it's a felt it's

a federal crime to open up the fucking uh how are you going to open up the emergency exit on the

plane you can't do anything on a plane you can't fart the wrong way on a plane oh yeah yeah he

broke by i mean why was the whole big deal like oh he was committing sodomy too well they added

that at the end of the article thing they will that the article when i first read it when it

it first happened it said it just like i said and by the time i sent a link to nunu and i refreshed

the page just to see if they had added more to the story yet they had changed it from that so

that they found them so basically it's like um he did this they opened up the thing and

yeah basically at the end at the end they said he was having sexual relate they caught him in the

middle of sexual relations so i guess some people complained and they they edited it pretty quickly

to take that part out and that's that's good that's a good thing anyway that's that story

and i thought that's the story of the fucking year i wonder what they were doing zolar says

ask them out maybe oh he's going to jail this evening that's good good for him fuck that but

i think he's a fucking national hero i think he's an international hero and i think they should

interview him on that outq station on sirius with all the queers all right sense brandon's typing

Keep it in red, that fuck hired everybody in the chat room.

Big Zolar from the Zolar Party Nation, which is on hiatus permanently because he ran out of money.

He lost his funding.

Did that happen with that story?

Well, that's, see, remember we used to say Dr. Lego this, Dr. Lego that.

Luckily, unfortunately for Zolar, he ended up getting canceled by Dr. Lego and all his sponsors pulled and he had to end the show.

But he still does stuff on YouTube, I think.

dr lego yeah um the get in space uh get in space incorporated i think was one uh the steel horse

band was uh on there yeah and your money show was uh sponsoring all zola and he lost all all that

this is it's a jewish thing your money show yeah your money show they got the money well what's

the problem it's some it's some new york jews that do a show with dr lego and they talk about money

Imagine that.

Yeah, New York City.

Tell them I give them the money.

Oi, the rent, the rent.

That's all you hear on that show, your money show.

We should call Dr. Leggo.

I think it's too late to call that fuck.

We should wake him up.

Tell him about that.

The rent.

Yeah, sure, why not?

Let's call him up.

Yeah, let's not.

Let's not wake up Dr. Leggo.

I can't wait this late.

11 o'clock at night with this kid sleeping.

What are you like, what, 11 o'clock?

We used to be able to do stuff like that.

He sold out.

He's already half the time.

Zorlo half sold out too. He doesn't want to hang out with prank callers anymore. He doesn't like it. He said okay

He's busy. Zorlo's on disability right now. I don't blame him after the day

All right, let's stop bullshitting. Let's do some prank calls

I got to go into the Lonesome Loser logs because I forgot to tell Lonesome Loser

We're gonna be doing a show tonight. I'm sure he would have made it. He's probably was wanking off right now.

He's got time for us. He's ready.

ready. Motherfucker. I'm gonna go to the network here. I'm gonna log into the server computer

and go into the external hard drive. Find the logs in there. I hope they're there. May

not be. I got your stuff, Tuck. The stuff that I sent you. That's some older stuff.

2007. Were those working out? Were people answering? What do you mean, my stuff? Hey,

can you turn Jimmy Hendrix down a little bit, by the way? Oh, yeah. Is it loud? Fuck,

yeah. There we go. Is that better? Yeah, that's better. Much better. Thank you. That's

That's a little bit of it.

It's overpowering me.

That's the Parliament Funkadelic black people.

It's not the Jimi Hendrix black girl.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just to let you know.

Actually, I knew that, but it's just funnier to say Jimi Hendrix.

No, you didn't know that.

Because you always confuse Led Zeppelin and the Beatles or something like that, I think, too.

Remember, we were talking, we found that out once.

That's you.

That's true, that is me.

That's me fucking with you.

I'm stupid.

Seriously, what is it?

Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd.

For some reason, I always confuse it, too.

I don't know why.

You confused...

Okay, the story goes...

There was an Obama story about the pig.

The pig?

You know, the floating pig.

Okay, but that's Pink Floyd, yeah.

And he had Obama on it or something.

Anyway, the whole show leading up to the story,

so the reason I'm playing Led Zeppelin is to tell you the story,

which had nothing to do with Led Zeppelin.

It had everything to do with Pink Floyd.

What?

Are you serious?

Obama was in a pig?

Yes.

When did that happen?

You know, I'm serious.

What was I smoking?

That's a classic show, too.

Wow.

I must have been smoking something that night.

What was it?

I heard it on the cast every now and then.

Oh, man.

I got to hear that.

You got to find that for me.

Fuck, because I don't know.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, I don't want to hear that.

I don't know.

Someone find out.

I'm sure there's a one.

MSC 3 plays right up that alley.

I remember that very well.

Yeah.

All right.

Dude, I was thinking we could do some conference calls tonight.

That's what I'm going to say when I say that, by the way.

If people are listening that are new and see me saying that, that's when I'm calling back.

Oh, man, I love water.

Water tastes good when it's cold.

Okay, hey, gentlemen, we're going to do a prank call here.

I've got...

Water is good when it's cold.

Yeah, it is.

Water is good when it's wet.

All right, we're going to call the Gay and Lesbian Switchboard.

They're located in Oregon.

This isn't the emergency gay suicide line that we called it.

Got the show rated a few years ago.

I just found that number the other day.

I saw it.

Oh.

Let's not do that.

Let's not give them a call.

Yeah, you don't want to call them.

Let's not do that.

I think the mic's ready for Skype.

We're about to find out.

All right, bitches.

Be quiet.

What the fuck is this anyway?

Why are you asking me?

I don't know.

I'm just listening.

I'm hoping someone picks up.

I'll keep it on in the background.

We'll see if we can call someone else in the meantime.

All right.

Well, I'll call Freddy's Motel.

It's conference time.

Fuck it.

Let's do it.

Multitasking.

What?

Is it hold music?

I guess.

Hello?

Ah, got me.

Maybe it's too late.

Oh, it's not you playing it.

Oh, okay.

No, no, no.

It's the line, the gay line.

The gay line?

The lesbian, gay and lesbian switchboard.

Oh, no.

That's very rude.

I have to call in and I have to get a long time of holding without people answering over there.

That's totally ridiculous.

What?

It's totally ridiculous that I have to call and I get a long time of having to hold on the phone machine.

And no one picks up the phone already to take the information and get in the run around for new people.

I don't appreciate it.

You must have the wrong number.

No, I'm calling the motel, and I've been calling for several minutes now, called twice, the first time I got hung up on, the second time I got put on this long hold.

This is the first time...

No, no, no, listen, I'm telling you, because I've been talking to the motel.

Hello?

What was that?

I don't know.

Is there someone else on the line?

No.

Listen, how many spaces do you have?

Do you want to make a reservation?

I would like, I need spaces for two nights.

starting this weekend.

Do you have refrigerators in all the rooms or just some of them,

or do you have to request it?

Just them.

Is it unlimited use of the hot water?

Pardon?

Is it unlimited use of the hot water?

Yeah.

All right.

You have how many sinks, just one sink?

Yeah, just one sink.

The sink gets hot water and the shower gets hot water?

Yes.

Okay, how many gallon flow, GPF, is the shower head?

I don't know.

You don't know?

What's he hanging up for?

It's important to know.

I thought you were going to say something about having your water truck outside.

She just doesn't know.

Could you fill it up?

Hang on.

I lost the number now.

I've got to learn this Skype shit.

This Skype machine better.

How do I just call one phone?

And I've got to look at the area code now.

Skype is crazy.

Skype works much better for...

I mean, afternoons, I was having problems with people listening to me.

Hey, listen, man.

Can't you run that Windows X emulator, whatever it is, on Mac and run Skype on it, dude?

What's the matter with you?

You should do that.

What's wrong with the women?

Why?

Because you can't do conference calls.

You can't do conference calls, you shit.

Yeah, fuck you, the conference calls.

I figured it out.

Fuck your conference calls.

The conference calls are two people.

Whoa, I'm conferencing with one person.

Yo.

But I'm pushing the conference by.

That old crow ain't going to answer.

Let's try to call RBCP.

Let's see what he's up to.

See if he answers.

He might not have his mic in his computer machine.

Or maybe his kid's sleeping.

Maybe, right?

That'd be funny if he woke up his kid.

Pick up your little shit.

I got a number here saved.

I've been saving the good ones here.

This one's Lord's Indian Restaurant.

What do we call them about?

I wonder.

Let's find out what the deal is there.

No, man, I figured out the conference part.

I have it all set up now.

Oh, good, goody.

I think it runs on.

Well, he hasn't been able to.

It's been nothing but a fight every week.

Can't get the conferences and the conferences, this and that.

Shit's hitting on Mac.

You have to unwind it.

We got a conference bridge.

If you guys wanted to, I'm saying we could all get together now

and get several people on a conference right now

and do some pranks.

I got it set up to do directly.

Well, there's all kinds of people on there.

Who wants to do it?

Give them the information.

Does anybody want to?

And then get on the bridge.

If you guys want to get on the bridge,

I'll set it up.

It'll take me like three minutes to set it up.

I will message me privately in the chat room

or on AOL or Yahoo,

and I'll send you a phone number to call

and the pin and the room number to call in.

Nunu sending in number.

Zolar, that's the traffic outside of the studio.

Madhouse Studios are right there.

You were there.

That's where you got into an argument

with a very overweight security guard.

I was hanging out with Evil Artie the other day.

Evil Artie has lost weight.

I'm not kidding you.

Evil Artie is like, I'd say I put him about a good 30 pounds that he's dropped.

He met a girl, and he dropped some weight, and he's taking better care of himself.

He's trying to find a job, even.

That's good, right?

He's fixing himself up quite a bit.

Oh, real good.

Good for him.

We should call him.

He's probably up.

He doesn't wake up until like 3 o'clock in the afternoon and shit.

We should give him a call.

I wonder if he'll pick up.

I envy him.

All right, send me a message privately, Zolar, if you want.

That'd be cool.

Zolar, if you want.

I'm going to send it to Zolar here.

Let me pull that email.

Tuck, you want to call in?

I can play a song and then we'll set it up.

Let's do it?

Yeah.

All right, let's do it.

All right, everybody, so here's the plan.

Nunu's getting numbers.

I got some older numbers.

If you're going to do it through Skype or phone call it, phone call it.

Phone call it, phone call it, or Skype.

If you can call to a regular number

Well no

I can get you on on Skype I think

I think I can get you on on Skype

I can bridge you on

If you want

Let's fucking

Yeah yeah yeah

Let's try

Drag me on

Try on Skype

On my regular on Skype

I have my Skype up

Alright well

Let's do it

Zolar's checking in

We're gonna do it

Listen to this song

I'll play a prank call

This is a prank call

So we'll play prank calls

Fucker

Let me think of one here real quick

Let me look in the thing

I got some tube bar

That's old as fuck though man

Tube bar

That's classic stuff

I guess played

Quite a bit though

You know

Here's a good one though

Kokanee edited this one for us

Wanda has my iPhone machine

Is that the one?

There we go

Casino

Casino please

Yeah I was listening to

Thank you for calling

Hey quiet

Bitch I was listening

I think I was listening to this

With um

With Athena

This is the one right here

We want to play

I was listening to this

With Athena

We were cracking up

And I didn't even remember

Until I heard it

Right back

Hello

This is Valente Cross

Yeah this is one

You get your grubby hands off of my iPhone machine, all right?

Listen, I got proof I lost my...

Grab your iPhone machine. Listen to me.

I do not have...

I've never owned an iPhone machine, never even seen one.

What you're talking about.

And you need to be just a little bit more damn polite, because I don't have...

Well, listen, I have proof of it.

Unrefeatable proof from the GPS.

You appreciate if you would fax...

What I want, I'm sorry.

I don't believe you know how to operate a fax machine.

You're a common thief.

Proof, but because I...

Phone machine, get it right.

If you have a fax, listen, if you have a fax machine, then what button do you push to send stuff?

No, no, no, no, no, you hit send.

You don't even know how to use a fax machine.

You don't even know.

That's nice, honey.

Okay, listen, so I have proof.

I turn on my iPhone machine.

I turn on the GPS, and I'm telling you signs all over.

over Wanda Nelson this, Wanda Nelson has the phone,

Wanda Nelson made a phone call, phone calls all over the place.

Send me the proof. Send me the proof because I don't...

Listen, and then somebody told me that they saw you eating chicken

and then you weren't cleaning your fingers and you were touching.

All the dirty grease on top of my phone.

That's just... You know what? Just keep it.

If you're so little.

Can you tell me where you are?

Because the 407 is not even a local number where I am.

That's right, yes.

This is the phone that you stole.

I'm having the phones forwarded.

Okay, I was in the casino.

I decided to go out to eat and cool down.

When were you in the casino?

I'm going to speak.

When were you in the casino?

Ma'am, this is getting a little personal, don't you think?

I was at the machine.

Okay, but when did you go out to eat?

The machine, yes, today, the machine.

You know the machine with the lights that goes bing, bing, bing, bing, bing?

You know that one?

I don't have lights that do that.

Which machine were you playing?

The game machine, you know?

We have a lot of game machines.

Which one were you playing?

Okay, you put in the money in it, right?

We have machines that take money.

Yeah, but it has the buttons, and you pull the thing.

It's like, doom-de-doom.

It all has buttons.

Bing-bing, like that.

They all go ding-ding.

It's got numbers on it.

Which one were you playing?

I'm just going to come in for a refund, I think, is what I'm going to do.

You come and see me.

Are you threatening me?

No, I want you to come and talk to me so we can straighten it out.

All right, but if we're going to talk, we're going to talk like men, you understand?

I'm not a man, so that's fine.

Maybe that's the problem.

I'd like to send you my address so that you can send that to me.

That's awesome.

Because you don't seem to think I know how to work a fax machine.

I would like to see the proof of this, because I don't appreciate this.

You didn't do what you're accusing me of.

I would like to straighten it out.

I would hope you would, but...

Give me an address, and I will send you something.

Oh, you're going to send me something?

Send you my address...

You know what?

...so that you can send me proof.

I want proof. I want you the truth.

I don't know where you got my name.

I've never even seen an iPhone.

Listen, I turned it on.

I turned on the GPS on my iPhone machine.

And I'm telling you, it has proof.

It says that the person who accessed it has your name here clean as day on a computer machine.

It says one has the iPhone machine and that you made phone calls.

I did not have your iPhone.

You bought, you said that you bought gas with the phone and everything.

That you were buying gas and you ordered it.

I don't invest with anything except my business.

Yes, but you got to the gas pump thing and you put the iPhone machine, you swiped it and everything and it charged the gas.

Where did I supposedly buy gas at?

It just says Valente and Associates on here.

Valencia Gas, I don't know, some kind of ETC company.

Welcome to the conference center.

A service offered by WWW.

It hasn't even posted yet.

not from listen i've been on vacation in reno we made a trip out

here a special trip to see this casino this big deal that my in-laws keep talking about

out, and nothing but shit is what happens. I'm in Reno right now, and I'm taking a flight

out of Vegas tomorrow. I'm going to be flying back to Miami. But I tell you what, I'm going

to pray for you. I'm going to pray for you that you find, you know, that God doesn't

pay it back to you sevenfold like the Bible says.

Let me tell you what I'm going to do.

No, you keep the phone. You keep the iPhone. I hope you enjoy the iPhone.

You keep the phone. Listen to the local sheriff's office and give them your number.

Madam, quite honestly, you're calling me.

I'm going to call right now and give them your phone number, and you can talk to them if you think I've done something wrong.

Madam, well, I'm sorry, you're calling me, and I order you by the name of the laws of the state of Nevada not to call on me.

What do you say there, guys? You hear me? Anybody in here?

There's supposed to be three of you in here.

Hello? Hey, conference, there's...

Well, it says there's three of them, bastards.

Hello? Is there anyone?

All right, instead of that, then we're just going to do another call, I suppose.

We're going to go here, call...

yeah i've got no skype credits so i don't know if i can get that's good beatles stuff man that's

one of my favorite beatles songs ever man that was on the black album right all right uh nunu

where are you i'm looking for a new news i am he said he sent me and i am i am with uh some stuff

somewhere i don't know where he did it at though nunu where'd you send that at man crazy bastard

all right let me go back to the music then if we're just sitting here i think i know why i got

it on strict mode hello let me unmute the people all right now you guys should be able to talk

Hello there.

What's up?

How are you?

Hello.

Hey, here's Zolar.

What's up?

Zolar's here.

Who else is in here?

Hey, Rad.

Hey.

Come on, dude.

Hi.

All right.

Well, we got three people in there already.

If you want to take it to the fucking conference bridge, just give us a call.

Zolar, what's going on, man?

It's good to talk to you, bro.

How you been?

I'm all right, buddy, man.

Every time I'm home, I try to fucking catch you out there, whether I'm lurking or, you

know.

But I figured I'd come to the chat room and hang out with you tonight a little bit.

Cool, man.

Awesome.

I see some stuff that you send sometimes.

Do you have a YouTube channel, or are you just promoting some stuff for a friend or something like that?

No, my YouTube channel got fucking deleted.

I guess terms of services were broken there, so I went and I just put up that I know is going to be safe.

Okay, cool, cool.

You know, that's not copyrighted or anything like that.

You know, so fucking now the pranks are back up there that people can see.

Because I had hundreds of thousands of views, so I figured people were enjoying that.

Yeah, totally.

So I put them back up.

All right, totally.

All right, so look, Nunu gave us a number here for the Hot Springs Village.

I don't know what it is exactly, though.

She had a good hello, apparently.

Well, it's in Hot Springs.

I'm sorry, Alan and Joe Pink.

You want to give them a call, Zola, or do a prank?

How long has it been since you've done a live prank call in the air?

It's been a while, right?

A couple months, a few months, right?

Fucking maybe even seven months.

Who knows?

Wow, right out of the bat.

Yeah, I'd like to try one.

I'll go to the cold.

All right, that's cool.

All right, Alan and Joe Pink, they're on Sanchez.

the place is called uh well hot springs yeah okay yeah i'll paste it i'll give it to you in the chat

room also here real quick there we go see if this works yeah i was looking to get a room down there

you have availabilities for the weekend i can hardly understand you um this is a private

residence oh i thought it was uh with a hot springs village or something for the effect

my wife yeah there's a number there's a different number for hot springs village

This is a private residence in Hock Springs Village.

But do you have a hot tub in your backyard that maybe my wife can get down in?

Why would you want me to have a hot tub if I have a private residence?

Well, it would be more romantic.

Like, you and your husband could dress like waiter and waitress, maybe, you know, with his cock out.

No, we've been there, done that.

But thank you very much.

We could pay you a good lump of money, you know, maybe.

I thought you were going to go for it.

She could hardly hear me because somebody had their audio on.

Yeah, I figured who it was, and I muted you real quick.

I have that control from my computer.

I can mute people on the conference.

It's awesome.

I love this setup, man.

I'll share it with you, Zolar, in case you ever want to do a conference.

Even not in the air, just to fuck around, get some friends, do some pranks.

Hey, why not?

All right, let me give them a call back.

See if they pick up here again.

That's all right, man.

Hey, we'll just set a rule.

If someone's doing a prank, just try to mute yourself.

Yeah, they're not going to answer anymore.

All right, so that was from Nunu.

Thank you, Nunu.

Good number.

Good on you, sir.

In the meantime, I'm going to try this Wacko's Tattoo.

Zolar, you do tattoos.

I should have had you tattoo me or something.

I don't have any tattoos, man.

Actually, I do piercings.

I had like four artists working for me.

I owned a tattoo parlor, but I don't do tattoos.

I did a few, but not anything great.

Oh, never mind then.

All right, well, you've got to pierce me.

I've got to get a piercing.

All right, we're going to call Wacko's Tattoos here.

All right.

I'll take this one here.

All right, no answer there, unfortunately.

Let me move on here.

We just called Freddy's Motel a little bit, right?

Is it not the one I just called?

Let me give them a call back.

What did I say to them?

I already forgot, gentlemen.

What did I say?

I just fucking forgot already.

Holy shit.

Oh, man, what did I call?

Oh, yeah, about unlimited use of the shower.

That's what it was.

Yeah, now I remember.

The hot water, the hot water.

Yeah, the hot water, the hot water.

do a normal thing

and then ask him

about the hot water

just to see if the lady

gets pissed off

just to fuck with her

or whatever you want

take it away

alright who's going

um

take this one

you take this one

Zolar

ok

J-Red's gonna get the next one

everybody's

so we don't get in that call

yeah I got him

answer

I'm fucking

this is the one

that I'm fucking calling

5 Erica

here we go

I gotta get better at this

I gotta start labeling

these better

ok

I've got a strip liquor

try that

they're in Vegas

they should

hopefully answer

So your liquor store's got to be...

Well, Vegas now, it's only $8.22.

Fuck yeah.

If there are any decent liquor stores, they'd answer now.

Let's give the one to J-Rad.

Whatchamacallit, Zola.

Hang on here, man.

And if anybody...

Okay, I'll be standing by.

All right, J-Rad, you're on.

Nice.

Can I help you?

Can you hear me?

Hi.

Yes.

Yeah, you got some absinthe?

Oh, what happened?

Hello?

J-Rad.

I'm here, man.

Let me call her back.

Hang on.

What the hell?

My bad.

That's my fault.

I'm Lilo speaking.

How may I help you?

there how you doing i'm all right yo you guys got some absolute there yes we do what's the

biggest bottle you got i'm looking to get drunk tonight half gallon you guys don't go any bigger

than that i got a big party going on there manny what are you charging hold on one second let me

look it up you don't know by chance 30 40 hold on one second all right all right i am five seconds

44.99 44.99 can i get a discount if i buy two sorry i don't know store i'm just a little guy

Well, could you hook up a discount?

I can't.

Oh, come on, girl.

I mean, I can invite you to the party, you know.

What time do you get off?

I'm a little guy on the totem pole.

We all are.

What time do you get off?

I get off at midnight, but yet and still, I can't give you a discount.

No one needs a no, man.

What's one bottle out the back?

I'm right.

Come on, girl.

No, I'm sorry.

No, no, no.

Midnight, huh?

So, yeah.

So, if you would like it at $44.99.

$44.99.

How about $40?

And then $30 for the other one out the back, cash in your pocket, and then you roll to

my house?

Come on, girl.

Nope, I'm sorry.

We're good, freaky.

Bye.

No, no, no.

Hey, what are you charging for some Dr. Morgan?

We lost a patient.

If you want, we can call her back.

You tell me, sir.

I'll call her.

Go ahead, dude.

No, no.

Go ahead, man.

You hit the next one, bro.

All right, let's try it.

All right.

J-Red, you sound old, and I thought you'd sound.

David has a Madhouse sticker, the only person with one.

It's Flickr, Lilo speaking. Hold on one moment, please.

Yes, ma'am. Thank you.

Is this you?

I'll take this one.

All right, B.

Where you at, J-Rad? You got, like, a country road and crickets in the background.

You sound like you live in the middle of the sticks.

Oh, bro, I got a freeway right next to me, man.

Nevada, bro.

Nevada.

Parks, Nevada.

Nice. Nevada. Nice and dry.

Long ways, baby.

Hello, yes, ma'am.

Yes?

Yes, do you have any gin there?

Yes, we have gin here.

Okay, now Seagram's gin?

Yes, we have Seagram's gin.

Now, the higher the level of gin you go, I know the price goes up.

I'm sorry, what?

I was reading a magazine, okay, that rates cigars and drinks, alcoholic drinks, okay?

It's called True Man.

It comes from the U.K.

And it said that Bombay Sapphire was the best for the price of the gin that you were paying.

It was the best deal.

So what's the difference between, let's say, a pint of the Bombay Sapphire and a pint of the Seagrams?

Hold on one second.

All right, thank you.

Okay, the Bombay is $16.99.

Uh-huh, that's not bad.

And the Seagrams is $8.99.

Okay, now.

So it's a difference of $8.

All right, now, at the risk of sounding a bit prejudiced,

when an African-American man comes in, a black man, a black,

what does this usually go for, the Seagrams or the Bombay Sapphire?

Are you serious right now?

Because that's a good way to judge if it's good or not.

He goes for the Seagrams.

Really?

You know, and how much is the Seagrams?

What?

How much for the Seagrams?

You said?

$6.99.

And it costs less, right, than the Bombay?

What is it?

You know, most people in general, whether you're black, white, purple, green, or blue,

they go for the Seagrams because it's a better buy.

I know, I know, but listen, all right, the point is the African-American, the black man,

he's choosing the inferior product, right?

I have no idea.

I don't drink then.

But what does it tell you about the African-American, though, right?

He's trying to save money.

And what does that tell you if he has to save money?

Okay.

I have to go now?

But that proves a point.

I mean, have you heard of the Aryan White National Socialist Front?

All right.

I got to go, dude.

Is that a girl or a boy, man?

Seriously.

Joel, you ask him.

I don't know because he says, I'm one of those guys.

I'm one of those small guys.

I think that's like a little kid.

Zola, you ask it, all right?

If it answers.

Okay, hold on.

I'm looking to speak to the lady I was just speaking to about a half hour ago.

I lost my credit card earlier, and I was just wondering if she found my stuff.

Are you from Colorado?

Speaking with Mel, because I'd just like to speak to the lady that I was speaking to originally.

I don't want my card to get lost, but, you know, I don't get it back in my hands tonight.

I'm going to have to cancel everything out.

You can talk to her.

I don't know if she took your card, though, but here.

Hello?

She said you had it in your pocket.

And so the one you said what?

Bottle, credit card.

Do you have my credit card, ma'am?

What is your name?

Ma'am, I'm just asking you right now.

If you've spent anything on my card, I might be able to forgive you if it's a low price.

Excuse me.

What is your name?

And I'll tell you if I have your credit card in my store.

Otherwise, you're calling a place of business.

Just return it to me.

If you return it to me, I'll just consider whatever you charged on it, you know, like a gift or a reward for giving it back to me

instead of me having to go through all this, you know, fee charges and everything

when I have to change my card to a new one and I have to go down to the bank to pick up a new one.

Sir?

Yes.

Sir, I need to know your name.

I need to know your name.

Ma'am, I just want you to...

I cannot send you anything if I do not know your name.

Ma'am, my wife is going to kill me if I lost the credit card because she doesn't know I'm out here.

And I told her I was with my grandmother who's sick and she sees a charge from all the way out where you are.

I'm going to be in trouble.

Okay, sir, nobody's spent anything on your card?

You have called a liquor store.

Ma'am, I know.

I was in there earlier.

Now I see charges.

I called the number.

I see charges on the phone.

There's over $300 worth of charges on my card.

If my wife sees that there's a charge from this state, I'm going to be in trouble.

Okay, well, sir, you have to tell me your name first, and I'll tell you if your card is here.

But I don't think your card is here.

Man, I know you mad at me.

You looked at me funny when I brought the book and you stole it from me.

Listen to me.

I know she had a tight skirt.

Go ahead and tell me.

I'm going to be punished by God.

God is going to punish me.

Listen to me.

If someone has stolen your card, and I don't have it because I don't know your name at all.

You won't tell me your name.

I can't tell you if I have your card or not.

How could you compare if you say you don't have?

And if the card that I have in my store right now is your card,

then there should not be charges on it because it's been in the back locked up.

Man, there's over $300 worth of charges for all kinds of sexual toys like dildos, big black ones.

Okay, sir, I do not know what to tell you about that.

Your card must not be here because nobody around here does all that stuff.

I don't know what type of people you were hanging out with while you were here, but

clearly somebody got ahold of your credit card and it was not us.

I'm sorry, you're going to have to report your card stolen is what you're going to have

to do.

Ma'am, I'm coming back over to the store and I want you to return the big black dildos.

I don't care.

Oh my God, please.

How about this?

How about you quit fucking crank calling this goddamn store, bitch?

she's gone that's pretty good man that was good that's good

you had her going for a little bit there with the crying maybe that was pretty good man

all right cool good deal all right let's do another one all right yeah the chat room what

happened with the chat room uh did it crash no i'm in there uh oh i love it

seems to be okay uh we got a call here let me play that i don't think you guys are going to

to be able to hear it i mean you got 11 seconds long call this a faggot someone in uh 775 area

code i don't know who that was we call it 775 i'll have to look at the logs okay coming up next

clown you hear me bro yeah i hear you which one is this

oh okay are you driving your car i gotta put you on mute sounds like shit

new truck jerry has a truck with a man it tells about the madhouse sticker how'd you make it dude

You used Tuck's picture, right?

I did, man.

I feel bad about it.

Sorry, Tuck, bro.

That's cool.

I need you to spread the word, man.

All right, yeah.

No, it looks good, dude.

I got to tell Tuck to chill the fuck out about that.

He made a new version that has his name on it,

so maybe we can get him to ease up on that a little bit if you give him credit, maybe.

I think maybe that's all he wanted.

I think he overreacted if you asked me.

Yeah, I got a text here.

I got a text here

to the mouth line

from that last person

and they sent the following

what the fuck you bitch

I'm copy pasting their text

that they sent to the mouth line

there for everybody to see

what the fuck you want bitch

Zolar you're still in the chat room

yeah you're still in the chat room dude

I don't know I think you were mentioning

that you were out of the chat room

but you're most definitely in there still

Zolar I see you

no response from the listening audience

oh okay

well they're probably listening and shit

a lot of them went to sleep

This is late.

11.35.

All right, let's do another call.

We've got an Arab guy here.

We've got an Arab-owned liquor store here.

This one's called the Speakeasy.

We're going to give them a call.

They're in Vegas.

I don't know much about Vegas.

Is Brandon Vegas or the person formerly known as Brandon Vegas?

Who else is on the line?

We've got Zolar, J-Rat.

Who's the third person?

If you're listening on the line.

You hear me?

Yeah, we hear you.

I hear you, but I didn't get your name.

Which listener is this?

Brandon.

All right.

Hey, Brandon.

All right.

Cool.

Yeah.

I'm calling Vegas.

You don't live in Vegas anymore, right?

You moved out or you're just going by Brandon now and you're still in that town?

No, I don't live in Vegas anymore.

All right.

Cool.

You don't have to say where you live, Al.

I was just curious as if you do or not.

We're prank calling Vegas right now.

Just thought it would be a nice little queer thing to tell you.

Let me go ahead and get my Skype back in motion here.

This is going to be another liquor store.

I'll take this one the first time.

Got an idea for this.

And after I do it, then we can call back.

You know, we'll just go around robbing.

That'd be cool.

If you want to join this chat conference, you're more than welcome to.

Give me a message privately online.

If you're on AOL or Yahoo, send it to Madhouse Radio.

If you're on MSN Messenger, madhouse.live.com.

Take it easy, looker.

Hello.

Yes, hi.

Hello.

How are you doing, my brother?

Peace be upon you.

Sir, I have a question about the difference between the gins.

Do you have pints of gin there?

Pints?

Pints of gin, you know?

You know how much that is?

Gin, Cigarum's gin, $6.99 plus tax, $7.56.

Do you have anything better than that?

No.

Do you have Bombay at all, Sapphire, Bombay?

Bombay?

Uh-huh.

Yes.

All right, how much is it?

$14.99.

For one pint?

Pint, $14.99 plus tax.

Do you have cigars there, too?

Which one's cigars?

You mean the smoke, the kind you smoke?

Come in here, man. What's the problem?

I'm just asking you, because I have exactly $20, so I want to know how much for Bombay, Sapphire, and one cigar.

Which one's cigars?

Well, what's the cheapest one you got there? What does black people buy?

$3.99 plus tax, Marvel.

What is it, Marvel?

Marvel.

Marvel, Marvel, Marvel 409.

But that's cigarettes, I'm saying like cigar, you know what I mean?

All right, cigar $125.

Which one is it, Black and Mild?

Black and Mild, yeah.

Uh-huh, yeah, okay.

Can I smoke it there, you know?

Is it all right if I come and smoke it?

Yeah, thank you.

Yeah?

Would that be all right with you?

I think we're over there, that was shit.

Let's give a call back.

That was shit

I was not doing much

Sometimes it happens guys

I mean it's like that

I'm not the most perfect

Prank caller

I think I do most

I got a good 70

I think it's hard to get

A 70% achievement rate

In pranks

Especially when they're live man

Whoever wants this one

Call it now

Hello

Oh come on gentlemen

Who's gonna take this prank

I guess I should have

Asked that first

Anybody

Anybody want it

Zolar

J-Rad

Yeah I'll do it

Zolar's gonna do it

See if he answers this time

That was my fault

off for a minute to figure that out get the next number going we have a second drop the conference

call fuck whoops i had to call the bridge again gentlemen hang on made a mistake there with my

clicking fuck anyway you guys still on here can you hear me did i get this right hello there we

go yeah i cut off it happened i cut off somehow it happens sometimes i don't know um wish milkman

yeah what's up disconnected maybe you guys are muted no you guys aren't muted

hang on let me call back yeah i think i logged in wrong let me try it again

Fuck. What call was this anyway? It's called the cuckold.

Excuse me?

Hello.

I have some credits about the Mustang.

Uh-huh, you need the parts?

The Mustang.

You say if I can't get the whole thing, do you have it?

Yeah, well, it depends on a few things.

I mean, you don't want to trade, or you just want the car, the whole thing?

I want the whole thing. I have a trailer, a seafood trailer.

You're going to bring the trailer?

Uh-huh.

Okay, all right. Do you want to sit down in the car and take it for a spin?

A little bit, drive with me?

Yeah, listen, if you want the car, you need to come down, and we need to, you know, walk together.

Hold hands and go in the car together, holding hands, and, you know, try the car for a little bit.

If you like it, then, you know, maybe I'll, you know, you can have it.

You want the, you need it for parts, or what do you want it for?

Well, I see some good parts, like the tires, what I can do.

I have a field trailer system.

Yeah, all right.

Yeah, you want, when can you come?

Okay, I'm back in.

Hope you guys can hear me.

Hello?

Anytime, yes.

All right, good.

Sorry it took so long.

I'm going to turn this off.

All right, cool.

I have the next call here, but instead we're going to try that speakeasy again.

Let's see if we gave him a few minutes, about two minutes here.

J-Rad, you go ahead and take this one.

You're still there, I see.

I don't know if you're paying attention or not.

Take yourself off of mute, whatever it is you're doing.

Get this going here.

J-Rad, you've got to say something by the time the second ring comes,

or I'll take it over.

Thank you.

I'm going to call Milkman in a little bit, too.

Yes, hi.

Listen, I think we were disconnected before, but the Bombay Sapphire said it's $14.99, right?

Yeah.

Okay, and a pack of cigarettes, how much is that?

$3.77.

Can you ring it up for me and tell me how much it's going to be?

Yes.

Okay.

That's it?

Yeah, that and, I don't know, well, give me that total and I'll see how much I got left,

and I might get one more thing.

$19.88.

All right, and I have $20, so do you have candy there?

Okay.

Huh?

Okay, okay.

Do you have, like, little candy at all?

I'm paying with food stamps.

I want to try to use as much of the 20 I can.

No, I'm sorry.

What do you mean?

I'm busy.

Please.

No, I pay with food stamps.

Come on.

Fuck.

Come on, man.

I want to pay with fucking food stamps.

Don't call back about food stamps.

Hang on.

I'm busy.

You took the phone off the hook.

What the fuck?

I'm

going to pick up. Someone's making weird noises.

Did we lose J-Rad? I think we lost J-Rad for a while there, unfortunately.

J-Rad, go ahead. Hello? Hang on. User, go ahead.

Can you hear me? Yeah, who is this?

It's J-Rad, bro. Oh, okay. You're back. What happened to you? Where are you?

I don't know, man. I was muted and unmuted and son of a bitch.

Good to see you again.

All right, cool.

We're going to do the next call.

Anybody want to do this one?

This one's called the Hungry Redneck.

Hungry Redneck.

Where's the bar?

I don't know.

They're in Oregon.

You take it, J-Rad.

You're back.

All right, dude.

All right, cool.

All right.

Zolar is still here, and Brandon Vegas is also on the line.

Anybody else, if you want to join us, you can do so.

Send me a message.

Madhouse Radio?

Yeah, Madhouse Radio on AOL Yahoo Instant Messenger.

MSN Messenger, madhouse.live.com.

I was on the chat room.

Yes, I mean, I am.

I've got a steakhouse instead if this doesn't pick up.

We're going to end that there.

I'm going to dial in the steakhouse instead.

Stand by.

They're in Vegas.

This is Del Frisco's Double Eagle Steakhouse.

Thank you.

I've been there, Zoe.

You were there.

Good evening, and thank you for calling Del Frisco's.

This is Leanne.

How may I help you?

Yeah.

Hello.

How are you tonight?

Good.

How are you?

I'm actually driving, and I should be there in about an hour.

And I'm meeting my fiancée.

What are we going to do tomorrow?

We'd like to come down to Del Frisco's, right?

That's where I'm reaching?

Okay, yes.

Yes, Mrs. Zafreska.

Right, and we were hoping to get the chef to bring out the engagement ring.

My wife is a competition meat eater.

Oh, excellent.

Do you want to speak with a manager about that to set something up?

No, I was just wondering, I mean, you're a waitress or a hostess.

Well, what's the biggest steak you can have so my wife can get a gigantic?

I mean, like, we wouldn't need to have the biggest steak.

The biggest one we have, we have our 24-ounce porterhouse,

which has a 6- to 8-inch T-bone in it, and it comes out in its beauty.

And you could rub the toto sauce on it.

The what sauce?

So you rub your toto sauce on it for me.

The what sauce?

The toto sauce.

I'm sorry, you're cutting out a little bit.

I know, I'm in my car and we're driving through the desert right now.

We're doing about 90.

But anyway, I need you to rub your toto sauce on it.

The toto sauce from Gulfwood.

Okay.

Did you have a reservation?

No, so I have to make a reservation to get your toto sauce rubbed on it.

Let me place you on hold, sir.

Hold on a minute, because I'm going to call a Puerto Rican person for that same thing.

Yeah, what's up?

You like that, right?

I knew you would.

That's funny.

Hello?

Take over.

Take over the call.

Yes, hello?

Yes, hi.

My father was just calling about the special sauce that you're supposed to have there.

He's getting engaged.

Okay.

So, you know, I don't know.

He's been there before.

Is there a chef I could speak with?

Because I've been talking to, I don't know.

Yeah, absolutely.

What do you do exactly there?

What is your business?

I am a hostess.

Oh, okay, honey.

That's nice, honey.

Okay.

So, is there a man I could speak to?

Yeah, absolutely.

Hold on.

Okay, thank you.

I love when you come

and be like that

because you know like

this guy is

remember the Looney Tunes

cartoon where there was that old grandma

chicken and Sylvester would do

something to her and she'd go to the

big guy with the tattoo

the big chicken

and she'd be like

he'd curl up his cuffs

and go after Sylvester

and beat his ass

That's what it's like.

Yes, go ahead, gentlemen.

What is it?

Gentlemen.

Are you rolling in some old lady Zolar's woman?

Is it an old lady Zolar's woman?

Yeah.

Well, you're his brother.

Zolar, is that the truth?

Yeah, yeah.

Zolar's calling.

I'll be his woman.

Go ahead.

Steve Rolling, this is Steve.

How can I help you?

Steve, you're a chaffer there, because I'm trying to talk about this sauce.

I've been talking to waitresses and hostesses, and I'm just trying to speak to a man, you know, who might be running this place.

Hello, it's Phoebe's Sauce.

Okay, what kind of sauce were you looking for?

It's Toto Sauce, is it?

Toto Sauce?

Yeah, I think my father's on the line also.

Hang on.

Okay.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

We're in a car, and he's passing me the cell phone.

We're on our way down to Del Frisco's.

We've been there before in New York and also Vegas.

And we're wondering, can you make the famous Toto Sauce?

I'm not familiar with that one, actually.

What kind of sauce is it?

It's very juicy and runny.

It's a fish-based sauce.

It is a fish-based sauce.

Is it something that they did in the New York Del Frisco's before?

Yeah, they do it for me all the time.

You know, they say they marinate it in the Toto sauce, and, you know, they put the Cricut juice on it.

Okay.

As far as I know, we've never made that sauce here.

I can speak to the chef.

Would it be something that you're looking to do tonight or tomorrow?

It's going to be tomorrow.

I'm getting married this evening when I get there.

I'm rushing there right now.

My father's doing, like, 90 through the desert, and I'm on the cell phone,

so it's kind of hard to have a conversation.

Let me put my father on.

He wants to talk to you.

Hold on.

Okay.

Hello, sir.

Okay.

Can you run through what's in the sauce?

Yeah.

It's usually one of the hostesses help out with the vaginal secretions.

That's it.

We need some women to get up in this thing.

Vaginal secretions.

Yeah, we need some women here.

Jen was on, and I sent her the information to call in.

We need a broad.

They got prank calls.

I don't know.

I've never met a woman who can do prank calls, to be honest with you.

Little Evil Neo.

I had to bring that call to an abrupt ending because I'm being called by my elderly girlfriend.

Yeah.

All right, you're being called.

All right, Zolar, well, if that means you got to go, then go.

Carlito, send me a conference number.

Yes, Tucker, I will.

Lay down some pipe, Zolar.

All right, man.

Thanks for working with me.

No problem.

You see, man, you did not bad.

See, that'll teach you.

All right, see you, man.

Take it easy.

That's Zolar, everybody.

I don't know what his website is.

He's on the Google.

Google Zolar Pranks.

There you go.

That's his website.

Google.

He's doing the Google.

The Google.

All right, we got that kebab place, Brandon, that you sent in from back in the day.

Is that the same one from back in the day?

That place used to be across the street from you?

That place is awesome.

We've had fun with them.

Let's give them a call here.

Let me play some music first real quick.

I got to refill my water and put a little splash of lemon in that.

I'll play a song.

Hey, Carl Ludo.

Yes, sir.

What's up?

We got any stray calls from Lonesome Loser or anything?

Any stray calls from Lonesome Loser?

Is that what you said?

It's a little bassy.

I'm sorry.

What?

Any old ladies or anything?

Any ladies?

Old ladies.

I'm sure we do from the UK.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, I do.

Matter of fact, let me tell you who I got.

I got the Browns.

there was tons of old people and we called these browns here uh early in the year um got the let's

see the reynolds families are in here uh ann marie holmes she's in here yeah all right yeah there you

go all right it's a bunch of british mothers yeah a bunch of british old british mothers

isn't exciting all right give me three minutes people i'll be right back and you uh warm up

your pipes you'll be the wax one then if you got such a big idea about it all right yeah

Roll me one, dude.

Let me get back.

Yes, sir.

Bismillah.

This line is now muted.

Oh, I'm still on 15.

This line is now unmuted.

Old Navy in Honolulu, where right now I believe it is like 804.

They should still be open.

Might be actually 704 still over there, to be honest.

And that was behind me.

I mean that.

It's coming.

Old Navy Alamana, where we're currently having a huge fab fair featuring our famous jeans.

Select styles and adults start at $15 and for kids, $10.

Hurry in while we still have...

Your call is being transferred.

Shut up.

Your call cannot be transferred at this time.

What?

Please try your call later.

Goodbye.

The fuck?

That is some shit.

Where's the number?

Which one's the one I called?

Hang on.

Tomorrow.

Okay.

Got a different one.

Don't worry.

This is a different one.

Nah, this is the same one.

Fuck it.

Not an old Navy.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Not an old Navy.

An old Navy.

I could say old Navy, dude.

Well, old Navy would have been good too.

Fuck.

Nah, whatever you want, man.

I don't think there's any Old Navy's in the open anyway, bro.

I don't know.

Let me see.

You know, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin.

Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, same thing.

Hang on.

I'm looking.

I'm going to start reading shit.

You stop me, damn it.

Steven Peacock, Charles Humphrey.

All right, all right, that.

Steven, that motherfucker, where is he at?

Steven Peacock's in

The guy who played Mr. Humphries

On the old time British TV show

Are You Being Served

He's in California

I don't know man

I'm going to try

Fuck it just do it man

This isn't a serious show

Come on

I love it

It doesn't have to be good

Just try it

If anybody can do this

Let me know if you want to join the prank conference

I'll win people

Hey, thanks again for calling my friend Jay, man.

Yeah, he's full of shit.

He's crazy, bro.

He's crazy when you know him.

Is that live?

Fucking phone.

All right.

Thank you.

Don't leave no messages, bro.

All right.

I got Charlie Humphries.

He's in Colorado.

A place called A Porn Star Experience.

That sounds kind of fun.

An Asian woman answered there.

All right.

Cool.

What's rather Porn Star Experience?

I don't know.

We'll try it.

See where it goes.

These places like this, Porn Star this and Porn Star that, they're usually always all

like fucking...

Yeah, we're going to have a sense of humor.

Tuck, I told you I was going to give you the conference shit.

Holy shit, I forgot.

Good luck.

Bad ass, man.

he's starting

oh my

answer here

I got a donuts place

in Guam

let's see if they answer there

fucking Guam

with a hand dial up though

yeah I can't do

numbers dude

got him

just gotta get it

the numbers split

I know places in my

yeah we'll send him dude

if you got him

send him to me

this one should be connecting

right now

here we go

alright finally

cool

um take it

wait uh

this is called uh

it's a

it's a donut place in Guam

it's like 3 in the afternoon

there or something

it's tomorrow afternoon there

Thank you for calling Wing Chow Saturday.

Good afternoon.

Hello?

Hello.

Where am I calling?

Wing Chow.

Who am I speaking with?

Wing Chow?

Man, I'm sorry.

Yes, I would like cream-filled.

You got 12 cream-filled donuts, please, for me.

A-S-A-P-O.

What's that for?

Hello?

I come chunk on your lips.

Clam chowder?

You take it in mouth.

You in mouth.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Now hold on.

No, no, sorry.

I like what donut you have.

I like 12 assorted.

Hello?

How are you? I'd like 12 assorted donuts, please.

I'm sorry?

Why are you sorry? I did nothing wrong. You did nothing wrong.

I'm sorry?

You have donuts right now? I'd be there 12 and a half, 30 second minute.

Where are you calling at, sir?

I'm calling from 12 minutes down the road. I'm right there.

What do you want to...

I'm standing outside. I'm there. I just don't want to come inside unless I know you have donuts.

All right, we lost a patient. Patient is hanging up.

We will redial the payment.

Stand by.

Patient, rather.

Redial it.

I don't know if I'm doing all right, man.

I don't want to be screwing up your show, bro.

You're not screwing up anything.

The cost of this call is two cents per minute.

Stop being a girl.

Like a man.

Hello?

Yes, hello.

Listen, who is this?

I have calls.

Listen.

Hello?

Who's over there talking to my son on the other line over there?

Because you got him all riled up.

He's autistic.

And you start calling and harassing him.

He's got chemical imbalances.

and he starts hearing echoes and he starts going crazy.

Now I got him yelling in the background.

Who is this?

And why are you calling my son like that

and talking to him like that about donuts?

What is this about donuts?

He can't have donuts.

He's diabetic.

I'm sorry, sir.

I don't understand.

You're calling my son.

You called my son in our house and you woke us up

and you're talking to him.

Your son?

I'm sorry.

Hold on, hold on.

We call you in your house?

He's autistic.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't know that.

Well, and why are you talking to him like that on the phone?

You know it's dangerous to talk to an autistic kid on the phone?

phone you can put ids in it i'm gonna put him on the phone and i want you to apologize to him okay

hang on

you want you want donut i want pp

Hello, can I talk to your dad?

All right, all right, give me the fucking thing.

Hello?

Okay, yes.

Did you, did he apologize?

Did she apologize to you?

What's the story?

Huh?

Well, sir?

I'm sorry, I don't understand.

Do you run the place, or what is your job there?

What do you do?

Do you make donuts?

I'm a clerk here at Twin Shells.

Who's in charge of the shows?

Do you not speak English?

Is there someone who speaks English that you can put on?

You have an accent, I can tell.

It's okay.

Why did you call my son?

We're not calling anybody here.

Well, he got a call about eating donuts or something.

Do you have donuts?

Is this the donut place?

Yeah, I know.

I'm in the dead zone, sorry.

Why are you calling people?

People have words to me, Daddy.

In the other windshield.

You think it was the other one?

There's another windshield.

Do you think it was them?

Maybe on the other windshields were not here.

Plus, I'm working here since morning.

How far away is the other windshields, though?

Gigo.

Maybe Gigo.

I got a windshield small.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, what else you got?

He said bad words.

Yeah, did you say he said bad?

He says he said bad words, but you're saying it's not you now.

Bad words.

That's what he says, that someone said bad words.

Yeah.

Well, maybe not here.

No, I don't know.

I really want to believe you, sweetheart, but the proof is in the pudding.

Okay, I mean, it came up on the caller ID.

It said Winchell's here is who called.

She peed on me.

You're singing with Len.

Huh?

Len.

Len?

Yeah, she laid on my face.

You see?

She leaned on me.

It was you.

I don't know.

Is the other place, are they open still?

Hello?

Is the other place open still?

Is it open?

I don't understand.

I'm calling them right now.

I don't want answers about this.

And you introduce yourself to them, and you let them know what's going on.

You bring them up on the situation.

Make me comment.

Hello?

Yes, hello?

Is this Winchell's?

Yes.

Listen, I got the other Winchell's on the line.

Hey, woman, say who you are and explain what's going on.

Not you.

Woman, Winchell's the other one.

I don't understand the situation, sir.

That's why.

Is this the Mangalow Winchell's?

Is this the one in Mangalow next to the supermarket?

market is this the one or not please tell me hello yes hi what is this well i'm asking is this

winchells yeah okay and then i had the other winchells

what are you saying over there speaking you need to speak in english by law okay okay i will talk

Talk to the Winchell's employee at Mangilaw.

No, but speak in English, and I'm listening.

Yeah, yeah.

No, I want you to explain right now.

What kind of explanation do you want, sir?

I don't understand what happened.

You're the one who called me?

Well, I think you're people calling over here making dirty noises

and calling them and talking to my son who's autistic, I think is what the problem is.

And I got him on the line right now, as a matter of fact.

Okay, one moment.

Janelle, can you just talk to that lady, the other employee?

Tuck, you're on the line.

What's going on over there?

Who called my son and talked to him like that?

Someone called me from windshields.

And you people calling my son over here, making bad noises on the phone, and you scared him.

And he's autistic.

He's drinking Listerine. I don't know what that's about.

never call he's never done this before sir this is winchell's money now we didn't call

well it says we didn't call anybody my phone says winchell's and someone called over there

offering him donuts and he can't have sugar he gets maybe not ask because i because you are the

one who first who called me well you call him here in winchell's the other woman the other

Another woman in Didido said to call the Mangalao one, that it was you.

No, we never called her.

Tell her.

We never called her.

Explain it that you said that it was her, that you knew, right?

Tell her.

She's on my side in Didido.

Tell her.

What do I tell her?

Tell her that you know.

Somebody call her.

You are the first one who called us.

We figured it out.

You didn't call everybody.

We figured it out together.

Don't lie.

Come on.

Tell her the truth now.

Truth.

You know what she did?

She's the one that called and spoke to my son.

You said you have proof.

And now I called her, and now you don't want to admit it.

Why?

Is she going to...

What's going on?

Do you have...

Is there a special thing?

I don't know.

You are the one who called us.

Then you are asking who called your...

What's that?

Your son.

Is the Mangalow one there?

I don't know.

I don't have...

I'm sorry?

Mangalow, are you there?

Who's Mangalow?

Are you from Mangalow?

Are you the Mangalow woman?

No, I'm from Winchell's.

But who's the one from Mangalow?

I don't know. Who's that?

Where are you from? Which city?

I'm from Winchell's, the Dedo, sir.

Not in Mangilaw.

Okay, then where's the one from Mangalow?

We were just talking to her. Where is she?

Oh, I don't know.

She hung up?

Maybe because we're busy. I'm working alone here.

I have a customer also.

But this is serious. What's going on with me?

I don't know.

This is a serious problem.

You are the first one who called us because we don't know.

No, someone called over here

and was very rude to my son.

Maybe I didn't know your number.

And how many of these windchills are they?

Who could it be?

Why don't you check the number

so that you will know who called your son?

He's getting on the phone and hitting buttons.

I don't know where this came from.

He doesn't know how to use the phone.

Even me, sir, I don't know your number.

I didn't use the telephone since morning.

But you sold my son, like, donuts or something.

You gave him sugar.

Donuts?

You gave him donuts without permission.

You're not supposed to give him donuts like that.

Oh my goodness, I don't know.

I didn't serve anybody.

Oh my goodness.

Oh my God, you know, it's bad.

He's out of control.

He gets angry.

And we took him to church the other day.

They put holy water on him.

And the holy water started bubbling up and everything.

And he started talking really deep.

Oh, and it's not my responsibility because I did it, sir.

But I'm worried about him.

Hello, okay, sir, I have a customer.

I'm working alone.

He says these things.

You see what he's saying?

He hits buttons on the phone and he talks in his dirty voice.

And it's ever since you people, you did this to him.

What's that?

Listen to him, my God.

Oh, I'm sorry, sir, I have a customer.

I'm sorry.

If this is a joke, I'm sorry.

Is that Tuck?

Tuck, that's you, right?

That's pretty good.

Yeah, of course it is.

I figured out which one was you.

I didn't see.

I had you muted here.

I unmuted you, so let me mark you.

I unmuted everybody.

I think more people are on the line.

I unmuted everybody now except for J-Rad because he kept talking,

and I figured he sounded autistic.

Someone just hung up.

Who's on right now?

Tuck's here.

J-Rad's here.

I'm here, and there's two other people.

people please share yeah brandon keeps talking man brandon's here come on goddamn ipod all right

what up hey what's going on who is that i had someone else coming in here but uh i guess he

hung up i don't know they'll come back hopefully maybe probably yeah come back everyone come back

new new synth in numbers let's call them you want to do a prank talk we got uh uh we got keith

Keith Martin, apparently he's a dude that wants to teach kids how to be gay, or at least that it exists.

I don't know what city he's from or whatever.

I don't know where this is going to be.

Tuck, if you get that, send it to, I mean, Nunu, if you get that, send it to Tuck directly.

Tuck, I'm going to send you the info in the IRC channel.

Okay, what are we doing?

I wasn't paying attention, sorry.

What's happening?

Look in IRC, IMDU information about our guy.

all right he's he's okay you're right he's marching he says that they should teach the

kids how to be gay because at least that exists according to him uh i guess he's he is not a

creationist i don't know if he's a creationist or not i think that means that he's uh saying that

he's anti-creationist he's uh what is it evolutionist oh what oh okay gotcha because

he's a school board member sir that's who it is right right and he's teaching the kids to be gay

How to be gay or what gay is about.

And he's controversial because he's doing it in Louisiana.

And there's Klansmen in Louisiana.

Yeah.

Yeah, you can spend your time in Louisiana.

That's still, uh, yeah.

Alright,

right we're doing

all right go for it tuck oh god i can be a little gay boy

you have reached the home of keith kathy and katie martin leave a message leave a message

hello hi i'm just uh calling to uh um give my support that uh we just don't do that in louisiana

that uh we're calling okay just love you we're calling you just because we want to let you know

that we uh support that you don't want the gay classes to be in the schools uh we support that

they told us today in church uh we have prayer group today and they gave us a pamphlet about

your information and it said that you were against uh gays uh being in the schools that

that you wanted to get rid of the gays

and we wanted to make sure that you knew

that we support that.

Brother Martin, thank you very much.

And Jesus loves you.

And Jesus does.

And give us your big old hug.

Take a long hug.

I think it ran out, right?

Hang on for a second.

What else we got?

What's going on in the list?

What's going on in the roster?

Good for the next one.

Give me a moment here, Tom.

Cool.

We call some businesses in Honolulu.

Let me see what's in Honolulu.

I'm zooming in on Google Maps.

I'm in the city of Honolulu.

You get close on Google Maps.

you can start seeing stuff i can see oh no man all right let's i got a do drop in there in uh

somewhere in honolulu downtown honolulu

you gotta tell him just like that

oh man good point thanks man another dumbass member of the board named david tate thank you

you new new and kokanee for reminding me god damn it yeah uh unmute everybody someone is online

let me set that uh no wonder i can't see it i forgot to sit with their mouth forgot to set it

to refresh no wonder okay now i see who's in here and who's not good deal it's refreshing in four

three two one nope nobody everyone's unmuted right now if you're in line now you are unmuted

and i can't get this to connect skype is not connecting here we go finally got it

Yeah, hi. Is this the inn in Honolulu?

Who is calling?

I'm looking for the Honolulu Inn. The inn in Honolulu.

This is the Chinese restaurant, Dill Drop Inn.

Uh-huh, yeah. This is the inn, right? In Honolulu?

Yeah.

All right, I want to make two spaces, please.

What would you like it?

What would I like it? I don't want a table shower.

I like it in your Honolulu.

Yes, can you say again, can I help you?

I don't want the table shower, though.

I just want maybe, I don't know, like the back massage, the shoulder blades a little bit.

And then on the flip, maybe you can, you know, give me a little bit of the, you know, massage.

Hello? Massage-y, hello?

Is the dude drop in?

Hello, sir?

Hello?

Yes, hi, how you doing, ma'am?

Yeah, yes, me up here.

Yes, ma'am, I was calling, is this the dude drop in?

I wanted to make sure because I was trying to call him.

Yes, this is the Chinese restaurant, yes.

Yeah, in Honoruru, right?

Yes, may I help you?

Yes, listen, I want to make two spaces over there.

No, this is the Chinese restaurant.

Yeah, so put me down for two spaces.

Say again, say again.

Put me down for two spaces, damn it, Charlie.

You listen to me.

Charlie?

Huh?

Who is that?

That's Charlie there.

Hello?

Hello, hello.

Listen, listen, sir, put me down for two spaces.

I want the, you got the number two?

What is the number two?

This is the Chinese restaurant.

Yeah, give me that and the number two.

Beef and Broccoli, number two.

Okay, and what else then, Bob?

I want two spaces for two nights, Friday and Saturday.

And I want to check in around 7 p.m. in the end for the Honourou spaces.

You understand?

You want a reservation?

Uh-huh, yeah.

You do massages there, right?

What do you mean?

Well.

Yeah.

You do massages there, right?

You do massages, right?

Hello.

Do I have the wrong numbers?

Hello?

Do I have the wrong numbers?

Is that what it got?

You stupid, man.

Really.

Stupid, man.

Hey, come on.

You're stupid.

Why do you keep saying hello, hello?

You don't listen?

I'm talking.

No, this is a Chinese restaurant.

I'm not massaging you, okay?

This is a stupid restaurant.

A stupid asshole.

It doesn't know what to say.

I'll fuck you.

I'll fuck you first.

Ah, bastard talking to me like that, son of a bitch.

I fucking heard a fucking prank call.

Damn it.

Shut up, man.

Jesus, right?

I'm not going out on a limb here.

I'm just asking for a little bit of cooperation.

I guess so.

Right, and?

Yeah, I'm just crazy that they act that way.

We're trying to prank all people.

That's rude.

We're trying to prank all people.

Decorum and decency.

A little bit of quality.

That's what I'm going to ask for.

That's just me, though.

I don't know what everyone else...

That's what I ask for.

I don't think I'm asking for a lot.

What's calling up now?

Hello?

Listen, sir.

Hello?

Listen, I'm just asking for a little bit of cooperation and decorum from you.

and some...

Hey, hey, hey.

Yeah.

Hey.

Listen.

Come on, man.

What?

Don't be like that.

I fuck you, you know.

You understand?

No.

I fuck you, you understand?

I don't speak Asian.

I don't know what you're saying.

Fuck you, you son of a bitch, you.

That's awesome.

Wow.

Awesome.

Pick it up here, Ruru.

I want a Ruru.

Pick it up here, Ryan Ruru.

Did you ever get that guy's name?

No.

That's what I say.

His name's Charlie, remember?

I called him Charlie.

I don't think you like that very much.

If you're listening to this show, let me know if you're only getting one side of audio.

Because in my headphones, I'm not getting anything in the left ear.

I don't know if that's transcending into the whole stream or not.

I think it is.

Oh, shit.

Oh, why do we got to be like that anyway, that guy?

Oh, man.

Trying to call him back.

He won't answer.

Hello?

Yeah.

Hey, buddy.

Look, we don't need to be like that, all right?

I'm sorry, okay?

I'm sorry.

Okay.

All right.

Okay.

Okay, bye-bye.

You stupid donkey ass.

You stupid shit.

Take a dump of your own room.

Yeah.

Why, he said...

I fuck you, you understand?

I don't...

Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.

I'm going to go down there and push you around.

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

Come on, come on.

Enjoy it.

Come on, take it easy.

Take it easy.

Everybody's got something to say.

Hey, hey, hey.

Hey, hey, why, why, why?

Hey, come on, come on, come on, come on.

Hey, hey, you're breaking up on your piece of shit Chinese phone is breaking up to you.

If you're going to curse me out, just get closer to that phone base, stupid monkey.

That's good.

Oh, man, I only get one-sided audio.

Fuck.

Please tell me this is only happening with me.

They're hearing it on both ends.

The stream is fine.

they hear yeah well if it's maybe my headphones you're just probably your your cans are all

wickety-wackety you've been having a wickety-wackety audio tonight i don't know what's up with that's

disrespectful all right uh of myself nice i'll be disrespectful i gotta save that number here

hang on let me add that to my contacts gentlemen yes yeah i forgot the name what was i called the

oh it's an n but it's really a chinese restaurant drop in do drop in yes sir thank you do drop in

restaurant that's a stir fry today was good healthy stir fry just had a little uh spray

olive oil spray on it on the on the wok that was it add a little bit on the base though we're not

gonna make it like that anymore with some lean uh beef uh cut like strips and then we had some

baby carrots uh regular uh had baby carrot pieces uh baby corn and snap peas and broccoli and no

No olive oil has too much sodium, I think.

We avoid it.

And then we just mix some adobo in it, man.

It's good to go.

And some garlic, minced garlic.

And a vote to say yay or nay on the sodium.

Trying to reduce the sodium.

We'll put adobo in it.

That's enough sodium.

Yeah, it's soy sauce, and it's going to be too salty to eat.

Too salty.

He was laughing, though, Sean.

Good point.

Sean Arnor and our Cal, Cal-ness.

Mentioning that that gentleman did laugh.

Thank you.

That was very good.

Asda.

Asda, hey.

I'm probably going to, well, no.

No, I'm going to Aldi.

It's a different one.

I think they're from Europe also.

I'm going to be going there probably tomorrow, Friday.

They got cheap goods.

I don't know if they have those over where you gentlemen live at, but everything's generic.

Everything, fucker.

Everything in that store.

Give me a second.

I'll be right back with the next prank.

To the UK.

We're going to call for leaks.

Mmm, leaks.

Leaks?

What's that?

Fuck yeah.

It's a leak right there.

Can I make an order for pickup, please?

Hold on, pickup, okay?

Wait a minute.

Okay.

Yes, may I help you?

Yes, I'd like to make an order for pickup, please.

Okay, go ahead.

Can I get one large egg drop soup?

What soup?

Egg drop. Do you have egg drop soup?

No, we don't serve egg drop soup.

What do you have, sweet and sour or wonton?

Yeah, wonton soup, hot and sour soup.

Oh, hang on.

Wonton?

Wonton soup, she said.

Okay.

Wonton soup, large or small?

Large wonton soup.

Large.

Okay, do you have any, do you have egg rolls there or anything like that?

Yeah.

Yeah, spring rolls or egg rolls?

Yeah, spring rolls.

Okay, how many come per order? Is it two or four?

Four, four piece.

All right, give me one of those, four piece.

And then do you have French fries there for my kids?

Can I have Wow Men? You never give me my Wow Men.

You always bring back everything but Wow Men.

Do you have French fries for the kids at all?

French fries, do you just do French fries there?

No, no, no.

Okay.

No French fries.

Alright, and pork fried rice at all?

You want a house fried rice?

Yeah, that's fine. Hog fried rice, sure.

Okay, and what else then?

And then, do you people like urinate and shit in the food or something over there?

Because they got so fucking sick the other day when I ate.

I fuck you, you know.

Fuck you, someone.

Hey, you now call, okay, I call, please, you know.

Oh, come on, man.

No, dog, dog.

Look, I wasn't being serious.

You understand?

I'm sorry.

Come on.

I'm sorry, I, I, I fuck you, you, you, I'm sorry.

Come on, really, I'm sorry.

Son of a bitch.

No, no, no.

Fuck you.

I'm sorry, please.

Fuck you, you.

Look, I'm sorry, you asshole shit.

Get out of here.

I'm sorry, asshole.

Get out of here.

Stupid shit, asshole.

Yeah.

Man, that was classic.

I muted you guys, I don't want you guys to interrupt that, because that was, that was

getting great.

Oh, sorry.

Yeah.

I get like that sometimes.

I didn't realize you were calling the same guy back over and over, just caressing.

that guy's funny

that guy's awesome

alright I'm gonna

save his number now

I had to put it in Skype

I figured I'd call him

while I was at it

alright

that's the

you know wait

this might

violate our

three calls

yeah

we'll wait

we'll wait a while

who were we just

calling though

what place

oh yeah the

Dew Drop

that's right

there we go

finally getting to it

Dew Drop

and Restaurant Ruru

that guy's awesome

that guy's our new Sam

we say that all the time

I hope

I hope maybe

Yeah, we'll see, man.

All right, does anyone else, Kokanee, Brandon, and Tuck, or Kokanee dropped the line?

I don't know.

Tuck, who's here?

I got a donut tree in the Juleo Shopping Center.

They're in Guam, if you want to call them.

We can also call Honolulu still.

Let's see, Honolulu.

We got donuts between Guam and Honolulu.

Guam, donuts in Guam and Honolulu.

I got antipastos.

Let me see what that is here.

I think I'm getting sick.

That would suck.

I'm guessing that's like an Italian place, right?

Could be, yeah

Open? Are you open?

Italian restaurant, yeah, they sure are

And they are definitely open, reviews are good

You want great food service and atmosphere

I do, I do

I want great atmosphere, yeah

Insanely large portions of tasteless food

Really nice ambience

A family style local Italian restaurant

They offer traditional Italian cuisine

Generous portions at other prices

Speak to you long and happy meet you.

Happy meet you.

Hey, that's what we need is some fucking happy meet you.

That's what I need to do.

That's what I need to happen.

That's what I'm saying.

There you go.

If you want to join the conference call, let us know.

We're doing prank calls around Robin.

Thank you for calling Manipostos Veritania.

This is Robert.

Hello?

Can you hear me?

I can hear you now, yeah.

Okay.

I have a cell problem.

I tried to take order.

Maybe it's not very good.

I don't know if you understand me.

Uh, I can't very much understand, you know.

I will try to give order as good as me are.

Okay.

Long egg, one happy meat.

Happy meat.

See, happy meat.

You am have happy meat.

No, sir.

One second, please.

Hello, this is Karina.

How can I help you?

Hello?

Hello, yes.

Give to I need, uh, uno, uh, uh, long, uh,

You want to place an order for a steak?

Is that right?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

English horrible.

I need a...

He will help translate.

Go now.

Hello.

Yeah, hi.

Hi.

How can I help you?

Yes, hi.

I'm translating for somebody.

I don't know.

I was connected on conference call.

on Transitor number 992.

Okay.

Have you ever been in a Transitor conference call before?

No.

Okay, the gentleman...

Where's the restaurant?

Is he trying to place an order?

Yes, he's trying to place an order.

He's going to...

He'll say his sentence.

He'll tell me to go ahead.

We'll read it to you in English, and then you just have to respond back and say go ahead when you're done, okay?

Okay.

All right, this is Operator 227.

Senore, senore.

What do you need?

She wants to talk to you.

Big, thick, long, happy meat.

Okay.

Uno.

Gentleman says he's interested in steak meats.

Go ahead.

We have one steak on the menu.

It's an 18-ounce boneless ribeye.

Go ahead.

Maybe you can explain it more to my mother that I don't know.

No, no, no.

If you want to understand my mother, you need to say it together on top of it.

Bogo, bogo, bogo, bogo, bogo, bogo.

Okay, the gentleman says, he's explaining that it's in his trousers, that it goes down to his knees.

Kiss my ass.

Do you need me to translate that, Tucker?

18-ounce river.

All right, let's...

Something else over there.

All right, that was...

Antipastos. All right, moving right along.

Kokanee said this is one of the best...

Awesome, thanks, Kokanee.

Kokanee, we've got Asia Taylor here.

If you want to do a prank, you can.

Let me know if not all connected here.

Here, I'll take this one off the bat.

Asian food trading.

Are you going to take it off the bat?

Oh, you're on Skype.

Okay, my bad.

I'm not paying attention here.

This is right down the street from the place where I'm prank calling.

Police is all in the same area here.

I'm going to tell this guy at the 8 Fat Fat 8 Bar and Grill that I'm calling from the place with that angry Chinese guy that we were just talking to.

What do you say there, you stupid ass?

Hey, listen.

Who is this?

Are you the guy in charge of 8 Fat Fat 8?

Uh, I just work here.

Yeah, listen, who runs the show over there?

Listen, I'm calling from right across the way,

and we got an issue here with someone over there

that has been coming over here taking the milk

that they're leaving in front here in the morning.

He's taking what?

He's taking the milk over here from the front in the morning.

The milk.

Oh, the milk?

Yes.

Oh, okay.

Um, do you have a description?

They found, they, we, no, no, listen,

my son was out watching to see who it is

that keeps taking the milk shipment.

And he watched you people come all the way down the street,

come to the place you took you picked up the crate and you took it with you you went down

the street with it okay um if if it's possible you could give us a description then maybe you

know because i mean there's so many well who's in charge over there all right listen i'm calling

from george's okay okay all right okay so put the boss on the line right now okay hang on yes hey

who is this all right listen this is george from george's across the street listen someone over

whether it keeps taking our milk shipment and my son was out today watching from his car and he

saw someone come that works at your place came over here took the milk crates from in front of

our place and took him back to your place so i want those that's not possible because we're not

even open when nobody's hearing the morning i want them here right now with that stuff i wanted

to bring it back because if not i swear to god i'm gonna call the newspaper i'm gonna call bob

morton the news solvers and tell them how a bad place is that you steal people's milk i'm not

Because I'm a decent person.

Of all the milk that you've taken from us for the last month.

But you bring all that milk back and there better not be a single bottle open.

And I want it back right now.

Now and now is now.

I'm sorry, can I get your phone number, George?

This is George.

George at George Deli.

Why don't you just come across the street then?

Okay, I'll come across the street.

I'll be right here.

Okay.

Hurry up.

All right, thank you.

Hurry up.

Here we go.

Oh, come on, George.

She's going over there for nothing.

Fuck.

Close.

But no cigar.

All right, what do we got here?

What do we got here?

We got the Maikai Market in Honolulu.

I'm just calling that lady back in five minutes.

Maikai Market.

I'm going to hang on.

I'm going to call her back in five minutes and say, well, hey, you were standing behind the door and she wouldn't come in or something like that.

I tried calling her just as she went back across the street.

Yeah.

Come back.

Tell her to come back.

Come back.

Turn around.

No, wait.

Turn around.

Yeah.

All right.

I'm going to call the Maikai Market.

Thank you for calling Alamona Center's Customer Service Center.

This is an emergency.

Shut up.

Let me try this here.

I know, I'm just thinking.

Maybe these places are closed at this time.

I don't know what time it is.

Really in Honolulu?

Hey, it's only midnight here.

And so I can't help it, dude.

Or, you know, in nighttime hours at least.

Yeah, maybe.

All right, let's call FedEx Office.

FedEx Kinko's, as they call it sometimes now.

Excuse me.

I think I am getting sick.

Son of a cuck.

Maybe it was repetitively typing whales.

News typing whales?

Hello.

Office, thank you a lot.

Hello.

Our visits are Monday through Friday, 7.30 a.m. to 9 p.m.

Saturday from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m.

And on Saturday from noon to 6 p.m.

Shut up.

Please try again.

Thank you for calling FedEx Office, Office and Print Center.

Please choose from the following options.

For our fax number, direction, please try again.

Yeah.

Thank you for calling FedEx Office, Office and Print Center.

Please choose from the following options.

For our fax number, directions, center hours, or our web address to place an online order, please press 1.

For FEDEX Express and FEDEX Ground, or to track the status of a package, press 2.

Press 9 to speak with a team member for questions or for information about the products and services provided at this location.

What was I paying attention to?

Thank you for calling FedEx Office, Office and Print Center.

Thank you.

Please keep from the phone.

I was looking at numbers, and I was like, ooh.

Hey, listen.

Hello?

Yes.

This is DeFilippo.

I'm calling from KFC.

I'm the manager here.

You understand?

Okay.

Okay, listen.

You people kept taking our milk, and we found out today my son was watching from the store,

and he saw that you're the people that keep coming and taking our milk order.

I don't know what you're talking about.

You guys, he followed one of your employees, take our milk order,

and take it all the way back to the Kinko's.

They leave milk in front of our store every day.

You understand milk, the milk shipment?

Okay.

Who's the employee that...

How do you know?

Because we followed him.

My son watched him, and he went into Kinko's with a crate of milk.

Do you know...

I don't know.

How do you know it was an employee?

I want...

We need to have this milk back here, because that's expensive milk,

and it comes out of my paycheck if it doesn't show up.

And they took two crates of milk already,

and then this is the third one and i'm not gonna let this happen i because we're because we work

together like this i'm not gonna um tell my boss i'm not gonna get upset about what happened with

the other milk but you need to go ahead and bring that milk back here asap please and please tell

me that it's refrigerated um i have a description of the person or something because we have

customers coming out all the time so we don't know who it is unless you can describe the person who

No, it was.

Is there a man I can speak to there?

Because you sound a little nervous.

I don't know what's going on with you.

Would you be able to identify the person?

Are you okay?

What's the matter with you, honey?

There's nothing wrong with me.

I'm just asking, would you be able to identify the person?

Well, my son could maybe.

It's okay.

You don't have to cry.

Yeah.

No, I'm not crying.

You don't have to cry.

It's okay.

He's on the line now.

You want to know?

I mean, tell him.

Bobby.

How do you know it's an employee?

Because he followed you.

He followed the person employed all the way there.

How do you know?

It's not a customer, though.

Bobby, did he have a uniform on?

Well, you see, they all have uniforms on, but, you know, you don't have to cry about it.

You know, I'm not happy with where I work either.

Yeah, I understand.

I'm sorry?

I mean, if you're not happy with where you work, why do you have to steal your neighbor's milk for it?

That doesn't make any sense.

I'm just asking a question, because right now you're just accusing without proof.

No, we have proof, though.

but my son saw him with a Kinko's uniform on,

and he went into the Kinko's with a blue crate of milk.

Okay, well, if you want to talk to the manager about it, you can.

She's here during the day.

Well, what time is it now?

What's going on?

Am I calling too late for you or something?

No, the manager's only here during the day, regular business hours.

Is there someone else I can talk to there maybe?

Because I understand you.

You know, there's no need crying over spilt milk.

Was it her?

There's nothing we can do about it right now.

You can talk to the manager and see if maybe she can check and see if there's any.

Do you have an epilepsy or something?

Are you okay?

Should we call back later and recompose yourself?

No, there's nothing I can do about it now.

You can speak to the manager about it.

I mean, are you by yourself there?

I don't understand what the big deal is.

We promise we won't have her yell at you if that's what you're afraid of.

We promise we're going to tell her not to yell at you because we want you having a breakdown.

Right now, it just sounds like you're making accusations.

If you want to talk to the manager, you can talk to her in the morning.

I think it was you that took the milk and you're just covering for yourself.

No, I did not take the milk.

I want to speak to an impartial party who's there and can explain.

Okay, yeah, you can speak to the manager about it.

There's no need to cry over spilt milk.

I'm not crying.

Right now, you're just here on the phone insulting us.

You can speak to the manager about it.

He said boo too loud, I think, and just freaked her out.

I think, I don't know.

He does that a lot.

He's a little bit abrasive.

I think, yeah, you have like an epilepsy or something.

Because women, men, and everything, he's a little bit of an ASS, if you know what I mean.

But it's okay.

You said you're the manager over at KFC.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay. The store manager?

Well, I'm the franchise owner.

The owner?

The owner of the franchise.

I own this franchise, KFC. I own five of them in town.

Okay.

When you eat KFC, you're eating my stuff.

The Filippo. You understand?

The Filippo.

Okay. It just seems like you're being a little unprofessional right now.

Do you want to call back later and talk to my manager?

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm being a little unprofessional.

You are being a little bit unprofessional. Let's face it.

Well, listen to the way you're talking, lady.

I mean, look, you're obviously on the influence of some medicine or alcohol or something.

I mean, OK, I'm going to have to hang up right now.

Why do you why do you talk like that, sweetie?

What's wrong?

You just called her and made an accusation.

There's no need to cry over spilt milk.

Yeah, it's OK.

We're not going to we're not.

I'm not crying.

This is not getting anywhere.

So I'm going to hang up now, OK?

Oh, man, that's horrible.

she talks like

um

who's the old lady

she was almost

crying as she

picked up the phone

I was like

oh my gosh

what's going on

she talks like

she's got the

Catherine Hepburn

she's like

yeah I don't know

what

yeah

you're accusing us

I don't know

man that's a

fucking place to live

like it's like

a poor little British

lady you would

call up

and she started

crying

and

that was like

I said okay

Hey! Oh my god, what's going on? It's alright. Don't freak out. It's okay. It's pretty cold. You can go back to sleep.

Don't get sad. Don't get sad. It's okay, baby.

I'm calling non-null-banani-chicken, and I'm going to conference in at the same time the KFC.

Non-null-banani-chicken? What's that?

Banana-chicken.

Oh, fuck no.

Hey, ladies. This is banana-banana-um, uh, non-banana-what is it? Hello?

What is it?

Yes, sir. Is this Null Banana Chicken?

Hello?

No. Hello?

Is this chicken?

Yeah.

Okay. What is your... Do you have number two special there?

Hello? Hello, ma'am? Hello, ma'am?

You're on KFC?

Yeah, hi. Is this KFC?

Yes, it is.

I'm on the line with Null Banana Chicken.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Hello?

I'm on the line with Null Banana Chicken. You understand?

No.

You've never been to Null Banana Chicken?

No, I haven't.

Okay, listen, they were making me an offer and they said that you matched prices over there or something, my son was saying.

He saw on Oprah Winfrey that you guys were offering to match prices, so I don't know if you could help out.

I have no idea. I have no idea on that, sir.

Well, how much is the number two?

Well, we're taking over, basically, what we're saying.

How much is the number two over there?

We're taking it all over.

Hello?

Oh, yes, somebody is talking and you're talking.

I don't know why he's talking. I don't understand why you're...

Can I help you?

Yes, hi, is this the Green Papaya?

Yes.

Yeah, hi. I was just calling the KFC.

They say that you people match offers over there.

Oh, you can go this one block and you see that's the corner.

Uh-huh.

And you see the hot pot.

No, no, no. Listen, damn it.

They say that you match the prices, the deals and everything, that you match your competitors.

Oh.

What's the number two?

What's the number for here?

Number two. Number two special. Which one is it?

Oh, number two. Green papaya?

Yeah.

Just hold on. Just hold on.

Well, what do you have on it?

Hello?

Yeah, hi, what do you have on the number two, stupid?

Uh, what's that?

What do you have on the number two?

Because they told me that you match prices over here, damn it.

What'd you say, number two?

What kind of number two?

The number two's special on your menu.

Do you understand?

Hello?

Number two.

The number two is Summer Royal?

Is Summer Royal?

And does that come with a drink or not?

Does that come with a drink or not, the number two?

Tell me.

Hello?

Does it come with a number two?

Hello, this is Fusion Electron.

Yeah, and I've got Green Papaya told me to call you.

They have him on the phone.

Oh, okay.

Green papaya.

Green papaya?

Yeah, he said that you people had the number two special over there, and I'm supposed to call you.

Hold on a second.

Okay, hurry up.

Hello, can I help you?

Yeah, hi.

Is this Yuzan Chinese Cuisine, Yuzan Bar Sushi?

Yes, it is.

Okay, listen, I'm calling from the green papaya.

Okay.

They said that you people over there took the milk order and sent it over there.

Why did you take it?

Took the what?

The milk.

What milk?

The milk order that we have over here.

Why did you take the milk?

I don't know what you're talking about.

Are you calling the right place?

This is Yuzan Japanese Cuisine Yuzan Sushi Bar, right?

Yeah.

Well, don't start joking around with me, buddy.

This is serious business what's going on here.

And you people taking the food.

What food are you talking about?

You took milk that doesn't belong to you.

And they got paid for by the Green Papaya already.

I'm getting it.

He told me to give you a call.

You understand?

For cosmetics, please remain on the line to speak with a member of our staff.

What's going on?

Is this Yuzan Japanese?

Yuzan.

What's going on?

I'm trying to get as many people on the line as one time as I can.

Talk, okay?

What's going on?

I'm getting people in the same little shopping area, you know, on the same line at the same time.

I'm calling Walgreens.

How may I help you?

Yeah, listen, I'm calling over from the Green Papaya.

You ever been there before?

You know what I'm talking about?

No.

There's a restaurant called the Green Papaya, and you people keep taking our milk order out of here on accident or on purpose.

what a stupid you are let me call you zan again oh tuck i dropped tuck i dropped the

fucking tongue hang on let me hang that up i don't know that i can pick this one up again

shit this has happened before you're there tuck tuck yeah all right good good i figured it out

hey what's going on uh oh hey evil arty's on the line hang on i just noticed evil arty what's

going on evil arty okay how you doing big boy hey man it's a big night we've had a lot of people

I got a little story to tell you, Carlito.

You got a what?

There he is.

You got a what?

I've been talking to this chick online tonight.

Yeah?

And she was like, oh, yeah, you're cute, and I'm trying to get her number.

And you know what?

What?

She had a traumatic brain injury when she was little.

Oh, there you go.

Does she talk funny?

That's what she does.

This is for us, you know.

Does she talk funny?

Yeah, she talks really funny, too.

Hey, can you call her?

Can you conference her?

No, no, no.

I actually kind of like her.

She might, you know.

How does she talk, though?

How does she talk?

Slow or what is it?

What does she have?

It sounds a little funny.

I mean, she's all there, you know?

Yeah.

I think.

I think it's mostly physical.

Okay.

Cool, cool.

So how long...

So she can't run.

She can't run.

Does she have braces when she walks?

She probably does.

That's horrible.

Yeah.

Hang on.

She can't get away.

Dude, that's horrible.

That's fucked up.

I'm going to call a dew drop.

Hey, make an order with a dew drop.

This guy gets angry, okay?

I can't put in kind of kids.

Make an order what?

Hello.

Is this the Chinese restaurant?

Yes.

I'm going to put my son Artie on the line.

He's going to make an order.

Go ahead, Artie.

Okay.

Hey, I'd like to place an order, ma'am.

You hear me?

Yeah, go ahead.

I want orange chicken.

Yes.

You got that?

I want egg roll.

Bruno.

And I want blowjob.

What do you want, Dad?

Yes, I'd like blowjob.

Okay, we don't have that.

Papa, you need to say it to the camera.

I just sent something.

Yes, I'd like blowjob, baby.

Hey, how you doing?

Yeah, may I help you?

Yes, I'd like to play Tota.

Okay, go ahead.

I want orange chicken.

You got that?

Orange pepper chicken?

I want orange chicken, and I want egg roll, and I want blowjob.

And a what?

Blowjob.

No, I don't understand.

Can you say it again?

Blowjob.

I want you to suck my dick.

You have?

Sorry, we're closed already.

You fuck.

Ah, he didn't bite that time.

He's been getting angry at us all night.

He's been getting angry at me.

He's an angry guy.

All right.

All right, so...

Is it?

What is it, George?

It's Honolulu.

All right, I got Jamba Juice.

I'm going to...

Here's what I'm going to do.

I'm going to connect about as many places in the same area at the same time as I can.

They're in the same shopping plaza here.

I'm going to write down a few of them.

Let's see here.

I'm going to tell you what I got already, all right?

I got a...

There's an indoor tanning place.

They're probably closed this late.

Panda Cuisine.

Oh, yeah, that would be awesome.

I'll act like I'm one of the Jersey Shore guys.

There you go.

Jersey Shore.

Dude, Athena keeps watching that show, and it's so sad.

It's funny.

It's sad as fuck.

Get out of here.

It's funny because they're so fucking sad.

Oh, dude.

No, it's horrible, dude.

It is horrible shit.

I don't know how people can watch that.

Hilarious.

You find those women attractive?

You think they're good looking?

They're all right.

You mean Athena?

No, Athena doesn't find them attractive.

And you don't find Athena attractive.

You don't talk like that about my wife.

I find her attractive.

Hey, I got a Ross over here, too.

Hang on.

Ross.

Look, I'm telling you what I'm connecting here.

Here, I got Golden Coin Bake Shop and Restaurant.

I got Ross Dress for Less.

Let's see.

They got to be open still.

I got, here we got Vietnamese restaurants called Pho Saigon.

I'll connect them here.

Oh, shit.

I want to try the stamping, but Nunu wants me to call Wales.

When?

I'm trying to order it.

Wales, he keeps saying?

All right.

I'll throw a Wales number here in the conference, too.

How's that sound, huh?

Sound good?

All right.

I'll go to Nunu's number.

Are we doing them all at the same time?

Yeah.

Yeah, we're going to call Aswell.

All right.

all right here we go let's do it he's he's got an idea um for it he wants to take welsh to a

well that i don't understand because i don't understand you you're not speaking welsh what

the fuck is wrong with you okay i got you yeah i don't know new news crazy idea i don't mind

so we're calling four places in honolulu and we're calling one place in wales england here

at the same time i got a piece i don't know we'll see this this actually works out sometimes

Last time we did a show, we called, what was it, Waffle House,

and they had them reduce the price of the waffles to $1.29 or something like that for a promotion.

Right.

That was good stuff.

All right, let's do this.

Hello, thank you for calling Ross.

Yeah, hello, how are you doing?

Yeah, hi, I wanted to make an order, please.

This is Ross.

Yes, I'm trying to make an order, please.

Do you understand?

Yes.

All right, hurry up and take my order down.

I want a number two.

Hello?

I want a number two, please.

Hello?

Yes.

All right.

You know what, can you call back?

I don't know why I can hear two talking.

Oh, yeah, I hear two, too.

Okay, so now I can hear you now.

Okay.

Hello?

Yeah, I'd like to place an order.

Hey, Duke, I'd like to place an order, please.

I just ordered a number two.

You know what?

One of you, can you hang up?

Can you hang up and call back?

Okay.

I'll hang up right now.

Stand in line.

I'm hanging up.

Hello?

Hi, can I take all your order, ma'am?

Hello?

Yeah, hey, Duke, I want to place an order.

You know what?

I want to blow job.

Do you do full-body massages there, or just, um...

No.

Do you give happy endings?

That was cool.

All right, let's do it again.

Let's call them all again.

Hello?

We're calling Ross Camel.

Are you hearing...

Yeah, you told me to give you a call and make an order again or something.

I don't understand.

I'm sorry?

You said for me to call in and make an order.

Hello?

You told me to call in and make an order.

Yeah, we need a number two.

It's the wrong number.

No, no, no.

This is the right place.

No, this is Ross.

Oh, yeah, Ross.

That's right, yeah.

Yeah.

We're trying to get fitted.

It's the right number.

Yeah.

And then we're just the right 1,000 pounds.

We're registered.

Hello?

Yeah, hi, we're registered over there.

Okay, so what's the problem?

We're registered.

Yes, we know.

We registered at Ross.

I live right close to my father's party.

I'm 400 pounds.

Yeah, Ross Dress for Less.

Yeah, we're registered there for our wedding.

Yeah, number two registry.

Registered.

I'm 1,000 pounds, ma'am.

Hello, sir.

What's going on?

Yeah, hi, I was calling to make that order.

You told me to call back again.

Oh, yes.

Well, this is a Vietnamese restaurant.

You want to order something?

Yeah, yeah.

I'm going to put my son Artie on the phone.

And then Tuck's going to interrupt a few times, too.

All right, stupid?

Yes.

The reason why is we heard a lot of conversation in there.

Yeah, because I don't think you understand how to use the phone, I don't think,

because maybe you're not American.

Maybe you don't, you know.

Yeah, okay.

Because we can't hear you guys very clearly.

Maybe if the numbers are in Vietnamese, you understand it, right?

Yeah, of course.

Okay, Artie, go ahead.

Okay, go ahead.

Hey, sir, sir, what do you have to eat over there, first of all?

Chicken, and now I hear another person talking to me right now.

Since I don't have the menu, since I don't have the menu, could you read it out to me?

I don't have a fax number. I don't have a fax machine.

No, no, just read it over the phone, sir.

I can't understand what you are talking about.

No, listen, Dirty Goop, just read the menu over the phone to me because I don't have one.

I have very long when we can't read over to you over the phone right now.

Hello, hello.

Yeah.

Do you have orange chicken?

No, we do not have orange chicken, I'm sorry.

Okay, do you have egg rolls?

Oh, you have egg rolls and all those, but not orange chicken.

Okay.

Do you have a dish that's really good that I heard about?

I saw it in an ad in a magazine for your store.

It's called a blowjob.

Are you calling Panda Express or Panda Cuisine?

Panda Cuisine.

I'm calling you.

Oh, okay.

And which did you call?

Yeah, it's called a blowjob.

Blowjob.

Can you say that again?

Blowjob.

Did you hear something?

Yes.

Did you make me a blowjob?

Okay, I got a hand up.

I don't think we have that, okay?

Sorry.

Stupid.

Okay, um...

Stupid shit.

Could you give me like a sucky sucky long time then?

What a fucking asshole this guy.

He doesn't even know English.

He doesn't know how to make orders on the phone.

I know.

He wouldn't read me the fucking menu.

Stupid ass.

He's still on the phone.

He's listening.

He's a stupid asshole.

I call him a dirty gook.

What do you want, sir?

What's the problem?

You're being fresh, nasty.

What do you want, huh?

I'm a little lonely tonight, and I'm actually there in Honolulu.

I was wondering if you could, like, maybe come over and keep me some company.

You can listen to these Jonas Brothers CDs I just got.

Maybe just chill there.

No, he hung up.

He just did right now with a bitch.

Oh, okay.

All right, let me try.

I got Oahu Nature Tours here, I think.

Let me see.

Is it Oahu?

Nature Tours.

Hey, Oahu Nature Tours.

They might not be open.

I don't know.

I think they're very baby gorillas.

Baby gorillas.

is on your nature tour?

Hasn't he got any blacks

on a nature tour?

I think if they're

mid-African-Americans.

Are there African-Americans

on your nature tour

in their natural habitat?

I don't want to.

I only want to be

with the white guy.

At the KFC.

I'll tell you what, guys.

I'm going to give you

the opportunity

for anyone else

to come here.

I'm going to

love you.

That's Tuck, everybody.

Tucker Michael,

Tom Revolutuck.

Was Recklood on there earlier?

No, not Recklood.

No, he wasn't around.

I thought I heard him earlier.

Our hours of operation are from

45 a.m. to 7 p.m.

Yeah, we gotta call

restaurants and shit that's still open over there.

I have no idea what time it is in Honolulu.

I think it's six hours earlier.

Yeah, so it should only be like

what, 12, 6, 7 p.m.,

725. It's not late.

It's restaurant time. Yeah, here we go.

Pho Bistro. We're gonna... P-H-O Bistro.

Who's left on the line right now?

Evil Artie, Tuck's still on.

Tuck's gone. And I think Brandon

Brandon is still here, and that's about it.

I don't think anybody else is on.

That sucks.

It's Brandon.

Brandon Vegas.

He's not in Vegas anymore, so it just goes by Brandon now, bitch.

Wait, did you replace me with him?

No.

Are you cheating on me, Carlito?

Is he a lot of the studio and not me?

God, no.

We'll never cheat on you, Artie.

Evil Artie.

Faux Bichot 2.

Yeah, is this faux?

Faux Bichot 2.

Yeah, I want number faux 2s, please.

I'm sorry?

I need faux 2s.

Hello?

Hello, yes.

Yeah, I need faux number 2s.

Four number two?

Yeah, or whatever it is that you have there.

This is the four number two bistro, right?

This is four bistro two.

Yeah, four number two bistro.

Yeah, I want the number two.

One order of summer rolls?

Number two.

Hello, sir.

Yes.

Do you understand?

Hello.

I'll put my son on.

He speaks English.

Go ahead.

Can you put someone in the back of the phone, please, damn it?

Do you speak Chinese?

Stupid woman.

They all speak Chinese.

Don't you know that?

All right, we got the Frog House.

Let's try to call them.

They're right next to the mopeds.

Mopeds Plus

Ask if they're filming Froggy tonight

Frogger

You can ask them

I'll connect

Mechang Chowkow

At the same time

They're right next door

In the same plaza

Two stories down

Do you have anyone

Who speaks Chinese there?

Someone who speaks Chinese there?

Listen to me god damn it

Do you have any

Mandarin speakers there?

You speak the fucking language, you.

Yeah, I ruined it.

All right, we got a Korean place right down around the way.

Give them a call.

Actually, dude, I'm going to get going.

I think I'm going to leave, too, because I think it's time.

All right, you go to sleep.

I'm going to do one last call.

Get out of here, damn it.

See you.

Evil Artie, everybody.

Evil Artie, he's on the, what's your station over there?

What do you get on over there, the YouTube?

I haven't been on in, like, four months, dude.

All right, asshole.

Oh, dude, I forgot.

What?

I got a bit I'm going to do in my next show.

What's that?

I'm going to eat a spoonful of wasabi.

Dude, you ever eat sushi?

Yeah, I had sushi the other day, and it's a little bit fucking spicy,

but I'm going to have a whole fucking spoonful.

My brother dare me.

Hey, what's going on?

I found out this place in town that has all-you-can-eat sushi.

You got anything like that?

No, we don't have the sushi.

What do you do there with your shit?

What, you got kimchi?

Yeah, the Korean food.

Yeah, Korean food.

All-you-can-eat is the barbecue.

All-you-can-eat, what kind of animals you got there?

Canine?

the beef beef canines over there canine yeah it's like a dog you know animals okay

okay you have horse no we don't have okay do you have animals there what about kittens

all right dude i'm gonna do one more i'm gonna do one more you can go if you want that's fine

see ya i'll stay on for a while all right last one of the night i gotta go back to the bridge

bridge line here and drop one or two there you know i found this all you can eat the sushi place

man it's the best it's in longwood i'll fucking take you out there it's the best sushi you can

eat in orlando man you ever been to a mara no you want to go tomorrow what do you do tomorrow

i'm not doing anything tomorrow but i don't have money dude i'll pay for you it's fine dude

it's like it's like i don't have gas i'll pick you up i'm gonna be in daltona i'll pick you up

okay mother not to take it back oh i'll think about it i'll think about it don't put me down

afternoon i gotta take my old man to the hospital uh for a doctor's follow-up all right all right

and then i gotta clean up my place over the next few days because i have a chick who might be

spending the night saturday night nice man you got some pee that's cool all right oh shit i lost

him i wish i could add this guy to this one here can i at least there we go i got it hey man you

can do it man you can do it all right that's it do drop us a picking up already i'm out of here

Hey, man, thanks for joining in.

It was a great show.

Thank you, sir.

All right, later.

All right, everybody, that was Evil Artie.

I'm glad you enjoyed him.

Well, we just about pranked our asses off tonight,

so thank you, everybody, for tuning in.

Cat is trying to break into the room.

That was Madhouse Radio.

Special late night show.

It was a Wednesday night show.

ended up at, wow, how long did we go on for, it's 11, 12, 1, 33, 3 hours, just about 3

hours, not bad, and I'm behind on the podcast, I'll get to them eventually, yeah, a lot of

numbers are waiting, oh, fuck, I didn't do the Aldi, alright, I promised I'd do the Aldi,

now I guess I gotta do it, hang on, or the Asda, Asda, that's what it was, I can't really

once again, this fucking, alright, hang on, let me, this is Asda, like the Walmart of

fucking, whatchamacallit, of Europe, or the UK, one of the two, one of those, one

one of those. I'm going to call them here very shortly,

very shortly.

We are a 24-hour trading

store, open at 8am

Monday morning, closing 10pm

Saturday evening.

Our Sunday trading hours are from 9...

Shut up. Shut up, Davi, you fuck.

Cat. I don't want to say Cheez-Its.

That's what the show needed, it was Milkman.

Extension does not answer.

Please wait. We are transferring you to the

operator. Milkman.

Extension does not answer. Please wait.

We are transferring you to the operator.

I'm going to have to listen to that phone show from last night.

Oh, forget it.

I understand last night's phone show was pretty good.

RBCP was talking to me about it.

There's a website out there with a lot of call-in numbers, a little talk show.

I don't know if they're internet radio shows or just radio shows altogether.

A lot of them taking calls and stuff like that.

I'm going to check it out tonight now that I'm done with the show.

Apparently, they were calling them quite a bit.

So I'm going to check that out.

As a matter of fact, I'm going to go and download that right now.

I should have it downloaded already, my iTunes machine.

I'll play it, you fucks

Hope you appreciate it

Alright, that was Madhouse Radio

I tried Asda, it didn't pick up

All of this luggage is so gay

Yeah

This is the new one from Muck Sticky

Muck Sticky Breath Machine

World premiere here on Madhouse Radio

Hope you all enjoy it

Thank you very much for tuning in to Madhouse Radio

TuckerMike.com

Be sure to visit

PrankCallNation.com

Coming soon

Calls (39, 1 h 43 min of 2 h 35 min)

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