Chicken in the Toilet

are in fact in the store i will go ahead and have my guys find you uh we will call the police

yes you will have to use your attorney you know capabilities to get yourself out of prison today

this evening because it would be property destruction there's nobody's property it's a

it's a chicken it's a living thing it belongs to nature and god i don't give a shit who you are

you're phoning me up from five o'clock in the morning and waking me up from sorrow

you are listening to house radio podcast

free fucking time opening up my mic hey everybody madhouse radio am i audible at all can you hear

me hello hello fucking bitch microphone cunt microphone poor uh hey everybody good evening

thanks for joining us it's madhouse radio we're here with uh milkman and tuck milkman how you

doing yes good sir milkman what you're saying my brother my brother man my nico

How's your week going, brother?

I'm doing all right, man.

I'm getting ready for Thanksgiving.

I'll tell you what.

I was looking at some Thanksgiving Day specials today at the grocery store.

I'm excited about turkey and trip the fan and all that shit that comes with it.

It's coming up quick.

Yeah.

Like way quicker than I expected.

That sounds good.

I haven't had Publix turkey, but I bet it's really good.

Right.

Yeah, you know, and stuffing.

That's always good.

Tuck's here also.

How you doing, Tuck, man?

Hey!

Let's wrap it up.

Hi, y'all.

I'm being.

Ryan, turn the mic off, please.

I'm being.

I don't know what.

I'm being.

I've been doing, uh,

been eating a lot of bananas lately

and doing a lot of cocaine,

so I'm a little hyped up right now.

Okay.

Um, well, you are in, uh, near Miami, so.

Yeah, see, yeah, see,

and I'm getting confirmation.

There's something up with the mic.

I'm gonna have to disconnect, reconnect the mic.

For some reason, it's not sounding loud.

Yeah, I'm sick of it.

Can I hear you or just sort of hear you?

I think it's just the mic cable is loose.

Give me a sec.

Test, test, test.

Is that better yet?

Hey, is it better?

I don't know.

Well, it's not going to be better for you, Tuck.

You're on Skype.

I don't know.

I know.

You sound good to me.

Yeah, I sound good to you.

Of course I do.

I always sound good to you.

I should.

Turn that up.

There we go.

Maybe that's better.

There is that one if you must go there.

All right.

Well, we're here, everybody.

I think the mic situation is resolved.

Be sure to send in your requests for prank calls tonight.

Madhouse Radio and AOL on Yahoo Instant Messenger.

you can also visit our homepage madhouse live.com go to the chat room in there there's a request a

prank form you can use it's free to use anonymous we will not sell you out um you know we uh strictly

believe to the rules here of the streets uh where you don't snitch basically stop snitching and uh

that's how it is finally there is a manifesto there's a manifesto um so again um you know you

You can get them over to us here in the chat room.

You can send me a private message with them also.

I should be able to get those sent to me, prank call requests.

Just tell me how things are going or how they're not doing.

We've got a lot of recommendations here tonight.

Lonesome Losers in the house is going to be sending in numbers.

He had the day off, I believe, for the holiday.

Happy Veterans Day.

Any veterans out there listening?

Good friend of our show.

A lot of good friends of our shows are members of the military.

You know that one guy, Turd Burglar, he's in Iraq still, I believe.

Yeah, what happened to Turd Burglar, man?

I've heard nothing about him.

How's he doing?

Is he okay?

He was stationed in Kirkuk for a while.

I think he's back in Texas now, but I see him every once in a while.

But he says, hey, he's got a kid and all that.

I think his baby's about, well, kid's about two, three years old now.

Yeah.

I'll tell you what.

So, yeah, but he was in Iraq for a while, but he did good.

He took a whole mess of prank calls from Madhouse with him, he said.

We'll listen to him.

So, Turd Burglar, if you're out there listening at some point, if this ever makes the podcast,

podcast uh then uh you have been advised six months from now yeah you know after christmas

no we're only three months behind because uh today i uploaded today is uh october the 11th

no you posted on the room finally november the 11th and uh we just posted the august 11th show

that's over at madhouselife.com be sure to you know add your art at our podcast here ipod itunes

uh however you get i podcast if you do or just go to our site it's all up there in the main

page madhouse live.com and also you finally put the uh hana ruru prank and that was awesome

the first uh that angry ass asian guy that's true we got numbers coming in from baz nunu has been

converging on some information too since i have a prank call he wants us to do i'm sure it involves

calling the uk or something british related you know no no i is you think um and like i said it's

pretty open here oh yeah hey wait a minute before i forget of course we're on cacti radio um cacti

Radio.com. Cactus, cactus, cactus.

That's right. I actually

wanted to mention here, we're going to have a live

show on Saturday

evening.

Conference-style show.

RBCP and I are both going to be

hosting that. I believe it's going to be 10pm

or it might be midnight on Saturday, so

be looking out for that.

Watch out. Again, it's going to be this Saturday

night. We're going to have a live show. Everyone's going to be

invited to join in, and we're going to have a conference

bridge open. We're going to be broadcasting live

and recording it, and everyone's going to get their

a chance to do

pranks so hey

I don't know

what we're going

to call but it's

going to be going

on

what is a

conference bridge

hermanito

it's a bridge

it's a bridge for

a bunch of

fuckers that do

prank calls at

the same time

just a big

conference call

a big cluster

usually feelings

get hurt people

cry they fight

oh it's a good

time and also

wanted to

oh my goodness

wanted to mention

of course we're on

syndicate radio

dot tv for the

first time in like

six seven months

It's good to be back on Syndicate Radio.

Yeah, Dino sent in a donation to Madhouse Radio of $1,250.

And thank you, sir.

That's going to keep us running here for the next year.

Oh, yeah.

You were telling me we're back on Syndicate?

Are we going back to Syndicate?

Yeah.

Are we on it now?

Dino made a donation via PayPal to Madhouse Radio yesterday for $1,250 on behalf of Syndicate Radio.

Thank you, Syndicate Radio.

You guys are on board.

Thank you.

And welcome to the Madhouse Radio Network again.

They are desperate to have you back here.

I'm kidding.

Dino didn't do anything like that

before I got his ass in trouble.

There was a syndicate

right after the

right master and Dino

with a big generous donation.

The syndicate radio treasurer just went nuts.

You don't want his wife to roll

a note to him.

Alright, so Brendan's

also sending in numbers. We've got a Walmart

here in Fort Smith, Arkansas.

so hey there's something but i say we call the um angry guy that we um we're going to play his

prank call here the first one we did to him back in august that's going to be on tonight's break

let me give them a call here real quick before it gets too late that's a dude drop in in honoruru

let's let him hear the conference see if we get him to react he doesn't always react he's there

he's there and his name is yeah hi may i speak with charlie please i'm returning his call

uh who is calling charlie's not here now you can you call back half hour oh what's he doing

Is he in the toilet?

No.

I heard him.

She's outside now.

Oh, okay.

Can you...

Yeah.

I can't call his cell phone or anything.

That wouldn't be okay.

Okay.

Yeah.

Well, tell me.

Do you understand the question or are you confused?

Don't just go, uh-huh.

Just, you know...

30 minutes, I can talk to Charlie, right?

Yeah.

Can you call back half hour?

Half hour?

She's not here now.

Half hour or 30 minutes?

What's it going to be?

5.45.

Oh, you want to leave your phone number, please?

No, I will give him a call back.

I don't like giving out my information like that to women.

Okay.

Because I'm a married man.

okay all right don't get fresh i'll call him back you tell him you tell him patten's gonna be calling

all right okay all right yeah all right tits all right cool ready remind me uh gentlemen 30 minutes

we're gonna call charlie back uh charlie patten get it man i didn't get a chance to eat my rice

and beans before the show started i'm gonna take it oh you're burning it's just smoke it's just

smoke no no i'm just hungry man i didn't get a chance to eat my rice and beans in time

Well, I think we're still on the stove.

I didn't know.

I'm asking.

It's a drug-free show.

Milkman, what did you ever find out about that K2, Milkman?

Did you ever find out anything about that?

You were supposed to do an investigative report on it.

Smoking K2 and synthetic marijuana.

Anything ever come of that?

Shit, I can tell you that much.

I've heard a lot about it.

And basically, this whole synthetic marijuana thing has nothing to do with anything other than it's just got the word on it.

They're just taking any organic material, could be an herb, it's not necessarily specified, and spraying it with chemicals.

They're actually saying that it has nothing really to do with a no guarantee that there's any synthetic THC in it.

You're basically smoking poker.

I don't like what the heck you're doing if you're smoking with that stuff because you don't know what you're smoking.

I've been smoking it for the last two months.

You've been smoking potpourri for the last two months.

I'm fucking crazy.

I'm fucking smoking Nature's Own.

I don't know.

What the fuck?

What's a good potpourri brand?

I don't know.

What the fuck?

Does anyone even use potpourri anymore?

No.

Let's call them away the dodo.

Who burns potpourri?

Potpourri.

That's why you put it on there.

That's the only sound it is.

Thank you.

I don't know who we're calling.

Thank you for calling the Crab Shop.

This is Lindsay.

How can I help you?

Who's this?

Who?

This is the Crab Shop.

Yeah, I'm calling back.

Crab Trap, right?

Yes.

That's good.

Is it one of those seasons with the R right now?

What?

You know, you're not supposed to eat the crabs unless it's a month that ends with A-Y or

something like that.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

Oh, shit.

Yeah, oh, it is.

Er-ver.

November.

Right.

Ooh.

Can't do the er.

Yeah, I don't know what we're going to do then.

Shrimp.

Getting shrimp.

shrimp you got any shrimp hello sir hello yeah hey so we can't have crab crabs out of season right

we have crabs here we're closed though well i want to make an order for tomorrow i'm going to

pick it up steamed crabs oh we don't we don't have king crab they have to be on our special

oh there's got to be something you can do what do you got in the back there's something

got any flounder i don't want i want something shellfishy but i you know i'm not going to have

the crab if it's out of season i don't want to get mess with that nastiness it's dirty right

I gave you an embolima or something in the head.

Hello?

Bitch.

Hangs up on Valente.

No one hangs up on Valente.

Oh, we got a lot of numbers here from Lonesome Loser.

Where's Bangs Burgers?

Hey, I could go for a burger right now.

Bangs Burgers.

Hey, Opme or Mono, Opme or Mono, Opme.

Nope.

Make them green.

Nope.

Make them green.

Nope.

Thank you for calling Cloud Populance.

Been talking to help you.

What happened with the phone hanging up over there?

You guys got problems?

No.

You don't know how to use the phone?

Is there a man I can talk to, maybe?

Sure.

Can I ask who's calling?

Yeah, this is Cross.

Calling about the crab order, and I got some woman over there messed up the order again

and hung up the phone because she's afraid.

I want her written up, and I want you written up, too, for being sassy.

Just hold on one second.

All right, we'll get your papers.

What's that noise?

What's that effect?

That's my phone.

My G2.

It's like astronauts.

Yeah, it's astronaut, baby.

It pisses Athena off every time it goes off.

I love it.

It makes my cat jump.

I love that.

Yeah.

It needs to work that into some bit.

Man, I'm really hungry now.

You guys all right if I eat rice and beans live in the air?

Yeah, go ahead.

Go ahead.

Oh, cranky.

Don't want you cranky on the air.

I'll turn the cow cow cranky.

My sugar's low.

Stab some money.

We appreciate your patience and apologize for the delay.

Oh, fuck.

Hurry up.

Fucking crap.

All right.

Here we go.

We got Ombre Gordito Hideout.

That means the fat man hideout.

That's horrible.

Now I'm upset.

Jack Masterson.

That's true.

Where's my Jack?

Hang on.

Where is it?

Oh, I don't have a Sharpie here.

No, maybe I have one.

Yeah, that's going to help.

Thanks.

I'll put three pens in my mouth at the same time.

There we go.

I'm probably going to choke myself to death.

That's going to help.

I could just do it.

I could just do the...

I don't know.

I'm fine.

Just moan into the fucking microphone.

No, I'll do it.

Ombre Gordito.

Let's try them.

Let me play a song here. Let's play some Ghostface.

Ghostface killer.

Now, you get out of here, I'm warning you.

I don't know anything, these things are just a Ghostface killer.

You bastards can't push us around. You wanna fight?

I'll take you on.

Come on, man.

Hello? Hello? Oh, hi, yeah.

I heard you guys possibly had some kind of

special accommodations there. I had

reservations made, and they're refusing

and to return my deposit hello you're supposed to make huh hello yeah what's your question

you're supposed to make special accommodations for me because of my size i was guaranteed this

place was for people who are large and you have room for size ee handicapped bathrooms

elevator to the first floor hello hello ma'am maybe it's not enough for them to understand

yeah hello calling it back stupid asshole listeners

Come on, man. Get out of this store, man. Get away from this store, nigga.

Stupid syndicate shitheads.

Okay, I know who you are.

Oh, hello.

Yes.

Yes, I was just speaking to a woman over there. I think she hung up on accident.

Did she explain the situation to you?

Okay.

All right, well, listen, I'm a large man. I'm a disabled, handicapped Vietnam veteran.

I was in town today for the Vietnam Memorial viewing, and you're supposed to make accommodations for me here.

How's the bear of this?

I'm a Class 3 diabetic. I weigh 482 pounds and I'm in a wheelchair.

You're supposed to make special accommodations for me. Extra large.

You're supposed to have the one room that's the size of two rooms.

Okay, we don't have that.

Well, no. It says here in the paper that you people signed a contract to do it.

It's supposed to be, you know...

Okay, that's not the case. You have the wrong number.

May I speak to a man, please? Because I don't think that you know how to run things over there.

What's your position there? Do you clean the bathrooms?

You have the wrong number.

It's a great evening.

No, this is Homeboy Gordito.

Calling him right back.

Jack Ronson, number four.

I don't think they're answering anymore.

Great.

I put the marker on the floor,

and now I've got to put it back in my mouth

when I'm going to do the Jack Ronson call.

That was smart.

Good work, stupid.

Alright.

What else we got here?

Oh, hey, we got that liquor store that we've missed

with everybody's favorite liquor store.

I don't know if you have a call that

particular location.

Milkman, you know what I'm talking about when I say this.

That's one of the newer pranks that we've done.

That's one of the syndicate hoes don't know.

Yeah, they missed a lot.

Storylines.

They missed a lot.

They missed me getting arrested again.

Yeah.

They missed Milkman's heart attack.

Right.

Yep.

Talk about knee surgery.

Mm-hmm.

My whole fascination with knee trucks.

Yep.

My trip to Bali.

Canadian whipback saying he'll post a bail if we get arrested.

I don't know if it's a woman or not.

Man, woman, whatever it is.

Taking you up on the offer.

Get with me.

I'm about to go.

Probably going to have to go AWOL here for about 20 minutes.

So I'm going to get my...

Take a shower?

I hear you.

All right.

Wimpy's Liquor is in the entrance.

All right.

Cool.

We'll go do what you got to do.

I'm going to call a chimney sweep place in your honor.

There you go.

All right.

I'm here.

I'm just going to mute it.

All right, buddy.

Smile later.

I'll keep you on.

Milkman, what's the weather like where you're like?

It finally cooled down here in Florida, man, up in Old Town, Orlando, down here, I guess,

not up in here.

It's been in the 60s and 70s.

It's cold as shit here, man, and raining a lot during the last week.

It was out in the hells, 44 last night.

Right now, it's like 55.

Wow.

Dude, and you're in San Francisco.

I don't understand.

I thought California didn't really get cold, but you say it does get cold.

there i didn't realize i thought it was like california is a huge place it's like a country

to itself you got northern california you got southern california southern california is always

nice and warm and dry northern california gets cold and rainy in the winter oh fuck that shit

man i want to do that that's what i'm talking about cold's all right i want to be rainy and

cold fuck that it doesn't snow in san francisco i'd rather be in southern california man that's

That's where the weather's good, that'd be.

Yeah, that's where the Mexicans will kill you.

Lucky Sully.

Yeah, hi, how you doing?

I was getting threatened over there the other day.

Pardon me?

You had some Mexican guys over there threatening me when they came over to look at the chimney.

What's that about?

I ain't got any Mexican guys.

Well, that's good.

That's why I'm calling you then.

Put me down.

I can help you.

Yeah, I need chimney sweeping services.

All right.

Yeah, now is there any danger if I were to try to do it myself with some chemicals?

Like beforehand, beforehand.

Well, there's always the danger of falling off a ladder.

Well, not that, but the problem is I tried to do the cleaning myself with water,

and that didn't work out, and then I put some chemicals down there.

So I don't want your guys going in there causing a fire

because I'm going to hold you responsible, you understand?

They don't know what they're doing.

Well, somebody doesn't know what they're doing, that's for sure.

Well, yeah, I don't know what I'm doing, I'm being honest with you,

but I'm broke, I don't have a lot of money, but this chimney's got to go on,

and I'm afraid that right now if I turn it on, it's going to catch a fire.

It's got flammable chemicals and liquids in there, in the chimney.

Yeah, what all did you put in there anyway?

way uh kerosene uh we were using nitrogen tanks to try to clear it out there's a nitrogen tank

stuck up there somewhere right now i believe also so i need you guys to come clean all that out

where's this at it's in my house it might be my second house that's my house it's on walnut okay

where's it at 212 walnut orange yeah in orange yeah okay very good so um okay um okay now um

well the good thing that is the kerosene will evaporate over a period of time how much kerosene

you need to put down there about good 40 dollars worth 10 gallons yeah just about yeah i mean i

got the stuff i work for ace hardware i got i mean i got my hands on the stuff uh charcoal

briquettes also a few of those up in there what i'm mostly concerned with this is nitrogen tank

you know are you pulling my leg no seriously there's a nitrogen tank up there i gotta get it

out i figure you guys leave it to the profession my wife's nagging at me do this do that don't do

Do it yourself.

Pay for someone to do it.

She doesn't understand that I lost my job two weeks ago.

She doesn't know.

I leave every day.

I go to my mistress' house all day, come back 5 o'clock at night.

She has no idea.

Yeah, we're busy for the next week, you know.

Whenever it is.

I'm going to turn it on here.

And the problem is, you know, I don't want to be held responsible for the house catching on fire.

You understand?

Or do you do what?

Huh?

Yeah, so I want to pass.

I want to pass.

No, actually, you can't pass.

It's a good Samaritan laws and you can't pass.

I know all about all this.

Well, I'm passing.

Have you heard about the Good Samaritan laws?

Yeah, I'm still passing.

You can, because I can hold you liable.

What's your financial ID number?

Who operates their business out of a cell phone anyway?

Milkman does.

Let's give him a call back.

I've been there to cleaning.

Sorry I missed your call.

That guy sounds effeminate, if you ask me.

Chimney sweeper.

He's going to pass.

Mark that down.

That's a good story.

Double Dragon Restaurant.

That was a good game.

What are you talking about?

out fucking double dragon baby has it been 30 minutes yet can we call um charlie yet no it's

only been you got 13 minutes to go hey is it double dragon yes sir hey listen i was there

with my brother billy yes sir all right someone um beat up my uh my brother billy and they punched

my girlfriend in the chest and they dragged her off okay um just a moment let me hand you to the

manager thanks thank you so much for holding me if i can help you yeah hi listen i was there with

my brother Billy and someone punched my girlfriend

in the gut and beat me and my

brother up and then they dragged her off.

These three guys. One of them was black.

One of them was holding a baseball bat also.

Can you hold for one moment?

Hold for one moment, okay?

Could you say it slowly again? What's going on?

Someone beat me and my brother Billy up.

They came from behind.

Someone beat you?

Someone beat you in the parking lot?

Yeah, and then they punched my girlfriend

in the stomach and they dragged her off.

Oh, that's not right.

That's what I'm saying.

Do you want to stop by to see who they did that?

Well, I think I'm just going to go after them and beat them up,

but I want to leave because they were working for you.

I'm very confused.

Did someone else work for me?

Yeah, they had your shirts on.

Double Dragon, it said.

They had the shirts on Double Dragon.

Yeah, so I want to know who they were.

I'm not involving the police.

I'm taking care of this vigilante's justice style.

Right?

I want to see who did that because nobody offered yet.

and they were still working.

One of them was black.

I want to see who did that.

One of them was black.

One of them was climbing up and down the wall.

One of them was just broad.

There was this woman that had a whip.

You know what I'm talking about?

There was this other guy.

There's another big guy who's bald.

I'm not really real what you're talking about.

Are you talking about one of the employees?

Yeah, they all work for Double Dragon, yes,

and I'm bringing them down, me and my brother Billy.

So, can you hold for one second?

All right.

Battletoads, that's a good one, too.

Battletoads was hard as balls, man.

Battletoads was insanely fucking hard.

I hated that fucking game.

I was so angry, I threw my Nintendo controller across the room.

I'm not just about to strangle me with it.

Don't smash it with your hand, whatever you do.

I bit.

I used to bite my Nintendo controllers when I got frustrated at games.

They all had chew marks on them.

I'm not kidding you.

I used to bite them on the corners.

You'd see them.

They're all bit.

Thank you for holding.

What would you like?

I don't want anything.

I'm saying because I came in and someone beat, you know, came from behind and beat up me and my brother Billy.

Oh, my God.

Okay, do something.

oh jesus oh god md never played battle md don't play battle though i hung up you never record a

video stream ah fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck thank you milkman for reminding me at least

thank you i haven't had a sticker on the fucking monitor says record do you think i recorded it

of course not well better late than never now we're recording the video stream shit no the

sticker says where make sure to wear a hat captain's hat no it's right here look like

says right there record what a good that did had it right next to the button that i hit to start

the stream what an asshole i am what an asshole anyway at least we didn't miss the whole episode

good call milkman thanks for reminding me appreciate it i got one-sided fucking microphone

audio what is up with this mic

it's doing that.

Yes, yes, yes.

There we go.

Got it back in the middle now.

All right, new, new, sent in a number.

He reports.

Good, we'll do that.

Mikey129 reminded me that I've been saying I want to get a pop filter here for the studio for the last, oh, year.

Every weekend I forget to get it.

Writing that down, too.

Maybe I'll remember it.

Surprise, Big Outlaw's still in Syndicate?

I thought he was, like, kicked out or something.

Then he, like, tried to stab himself or something.

Then he got all emotional.

Remember that?

I don't know if you guys remember that.

No, seriously, Big Outlaw, he got upset once.

He was drinking.

I think he was doing drugs.

and he started cutting himself live on the camera on the show.

Awesome.

Yeah, then he made, like, a shit mustache or something once.

I forgot.

That guy's fucking crazy.

Wow.

They just got so hectic here towards the end, dude.

I just kind of lost track of it, man.

I don't know, man.

I don't know.

He's into Wiccan or something.

He's into some weird Wicca stuff, too, apparently.

All right, well, that's Double Dragon again.

If you didn't figure out, I was quoting, well,

I was referencing to the beginning of the actual game, Double Dragon.

Oh, that's awesome.

Dude, I love that.

I like that when you keep turning off

and you keep attacking each other

while you were going there.

At the end.

Yeah, at the end.

It wasn't at the end.

It wasn't at the very end.

Like, after you beat the final boss,

you ended up, you know,

the two brothers fight each other

if you had two players.

This is way...

No, you could disable it the whole time.

You could just be, like,

doing the battle from the beginning.

It was one of the options

where you could kill each other, too.

Ah.

What's the fun in that, man?

That was fun as shit.

I would disable it

and I wouldn't tell somebody.

We'd walk by

and kick him in the back

and hit him in the butt.

All right, Milkman, I hear you, bro.

I hear you.

Let me play a prank call here real quick.

Milkman, any suggestions for a prank call?

What's an old one here that we haven't played in a while

in honor of us returning to Syndicate Radio?

Don't say Pasquale for the love of shit.

Oh, you know we love that one.

How about one of the colostomy bag calls?

Oh, dude, I want to know what those are called,

colostomy bag calls.

Yeah, I don't think those ever got isolated.

Hang on.

Oh, I know.

How about this?

We haven't heard anything from Raccoon.

Why don't you play one like the PFA call, or the Foreign Actors call, or one of the rec league calls with CUNY on it?

Oh, that?

I like the Stuhl, Stuhl Sample, Stuhl Sample.

Stuhl Sample, Stuhl Sample.

Oh, that's not regular.

That's me.

But yeah, we'll do Stuhl Sample.

Hang on, let me get that then.

That was me and Ted.

Yeah, it's a carrot, and that's hilarious.

Yeah.

Oh, before, the Stuhl Sample guy, right?

What was that called?

That got a big black gun?

Adolfo or something.

Yeah, something like that.

Adolfo was this guy's name.

Adolfo's Cotton.

If I can find it.

Yeah, hang on.

It was stool sample one, two, and three.

I think you started it, and then one of them left.

It was on there.

But you called back, and she kept trying to hang up.

And you feel like you're the operator.

She was going wild, dude.

Oh, she got pissed, dude.

Let me get back.

Give me a few minutes.

Let me take five minutes.

I got to go take care of something outside here real quick.

I'll be right back.

I need to use the restroom.

I'm going to play a prank call when we get back.

We got more pranks to do, including Rip City Grill,

Die By Dang Restaurant, and the Chief Motel.

Fuck yeah.

Dr. Nargis told me to give him a call with these instructions.

But his doctor is not Dr. whoever you said.

It's the specialist, ma'am.

His physician forwarded the information on to Dr. Nargis

and made the determination of what was going on.

He just wanted to give him a therapy plan he needs to practice at home.

Okay, hold on, hold on.

Hurry it up.

Hello?

Yes, hello, I'm sorry.

I lost my temper.

or did you have a pen and paper who are you talking to I'm trying to leave a

message for the instructions for the therapy plan he needs yes but someone

said hurry it up oh I'm sorry quality assurance thing that we had

supposed something that you're supposed to for the quality of your service is

blah blah okay I'm ready breakfast as much fiber as possible preferably

preferably oatmeals and greens.

What kind of greens do you make, if any?

All.

Cabbage, collards, string beans, the works.

Collards and turnip greens and spinach greens.

Yeah, I do all of those.

Okay.

Broccoli, the works.

And he needs to eat as many oranges as possible.

Okay.

Okay, now what this is going to do is going to be like a natural colonic for a system.

Okay, now he needs to collect a stool sample after every bowel movement.

Got it.

So do you have the instructions there for the stool sample collection?

Do I have any?

Did his doctor give him any?

Well, I'm not certain, so I'm making sure.

I mean, if he didn't mention it to you, perhaps I should.

No, he hasn't mentioned this to me or that someone would be calling.

That's just not natural that he wouldn't mention this.

That's why I'm asking all of these questions, because he never said anything about it.

He just needs to collect a stool sample after every bowel movement, and it's very simple.

He's supposed to have carrots.

Do you have any carrots there now, or do you need to get them?

The long kind, not the baby carrots, the long ones, please.

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Basically, all he does after he has a bowel movement, he's going to take a carrot and

and shove it up as far up into his asshole as possible,

and then put it in a bag and write the date on the bag.

You got that?

Hello?

Did you get that?

No, but maybe you need to do that.

Well, that's his responsibility, not mine.

No, it's my responsibility to tell you to do that,

because this call is not a natural call, so you can just go to hell.

Ma'am, don't speak to me like that, please.

I'm a professional.

Well, you don't sound it.

I'm a licensed male nurse.

Yes, okay.

I believe it, too.

Well, I mean, I'm a smart person, and I command a bit of respect in this society.

Excuse me?

I command a bit of respect.

Well, I command a bit also, and I say that you can go to hell.

Now, did you hear that?

Did you hear that commandment?

Do you know?

Do you hell?

Go to hell.

Do you know what the Bible says about Jesus?

Can you hear me?

Do you listen to Jesus?

Do you listen to him?

I sure am.

No, you don't.

Dr. Nargis is a beautiful Catholic.

Good for him.

And I am ordained through the body and blood of Christ to give you these instructions.

Good for him.

About the stool sample, ma'am.

So I expect you wrote them down because there's going to be a quiz at the end of this conversation.

Go to hell.

Hello?

Ms. Cooley?

Yes.

Did you write all that down?

Did I write all what down?

All the instructions.

Yeah, and I had this call trace also.

How do you have a trace?

Come on.

Excuse me?

Did you turn on your tracing machine?

Tell me this.

What is it that you want?

What kind of nutcase are you?

I'm giving you important instructions.

You know what?

I don't want your important instructions.

I do not want them.

So you take your instructions and give it to somebody else or cram them up your behalf.

Do you want to know the truth?

No, I do not because you can't even tell me anything that's true.

I'm telling you, I'm after you.

Goodbye, asshole.

Ma'am.

Oh, man, I was going to tell her the truth.

She is funny as hell, dude.

That's what they told me.

That's what I did.

Phone company.

Go ahead.

Hello?

Yes, this is the phone company.

How may I help you?

No one has called here, this is the second time, saying stupid things.

And I was told to dial Starfield and to have the call traced.

Okay, just one moment.

I'm going to go ahead and trace that now.

Can you hold, please?

Yes, I will.

Okay, here we go.

Okay, that's coming back negative, ma'am.

Did you insert the carrot all the way up into the anus and then extract it?

Go to hell.

I love you, lady.

I love you.

you are one son of a excuse me identify yourselves i'm tapping into the line

go to this is bubba johnson i'm the operator what's going on on this line right here

hello uh good evening this is bubba from yeah just i was just breaking in on the line there

i won't charge you for the break um normally it's 50 cents when we trace a call and break in on the

call so i'm taking notes here i noticed that you received about three calls this evening from a

number um what is what is it yes so what is what is the content of the calls what was going on

uh the person asked to speak to my husband and he said he was a male nurse and he was he wanted to

give instructions to him he heard some doctor or something told him to call because he

Oh, please slow down.

I'm sorry.

Can you slow down?

I'm typing the same thing.

All right.

You said it was a male nurse.

Yes.

Caught your husband, and then what did he tell your husband?

And you are from where now?

I'm a line technician.

Okay.

And the person said that they needed to give him some doctor's instructions about what is it that he could do

so that his pressure would go down, and they gave him?

Sorry, his what, blood pressure?

Yes.

Okay.

And I said, sorry, but I wouldn't know about this.

I haven't heard him say anything about that.

And he continued and gave me instructions.

And on the end he said, now, do you have a carrot?

Do you know about collecting a stool sample?

And I said, what kind of stool sample?

And he said, well, you need.

This sounds like kid stuff.

This sounds like kids pulling a joke song.

Well, it wasn't a kid.

I mean, I'm, it wasn't a kid.

This was an adult, a crazy adult.

And he said, take a carrot and stick it all the way up his ass.

His what?

You heard what I, huh?

I can't write that, though.

Well, that's what they say.

You said you from bed.

I'm just going to put down said, I can't say harassing, but what would you call it?

I call it harassing.

Harassing, okay.

You said you were a technician, a line technician?

Yeah, I got to take notes because they're going to trace it back to who called you,

and we're going to send somebody out to his house tomorrow.

Okay.

And this is not the first time.

Now, hold on, hold on, hold on.

I got this filled in.

Okay, so what was you going to say before I cut you off?

I'm sorry.

I was going to tell you that this is not the first time.

It happened about a month ago also, and I was able to apprehend a couple of numbers.

And I called the phone company, and I was told to dial this fast, and they would trace the call.

I understand that.

Okay, what I need you to do is rest in peace, Ted.

Ted passing away not too long ago, and that's us.

Sucked

Yeah it did suck

That sucked when that happened

Sad moment

In prank call history

But yeah

At least we still got

Jen Stewart around

Hey everybody

Thanks for hanging in there

I took my break

I got my rice and beans in me

And a little bit of chicken

Now we can go

Let's move on

Let's do it

And where are we going?

We're going straight to jail

Let's commit misdemeanor

All night tonight

Alright

Woo

30 minutes, it's time to call Hawaii

Is it 30 minutes? Let's do it

Yep

It says if I call the dew drop in

If I call the dew drop in

My current call will be put on hold

I don't want that

I want to add it

Why?

I don't want that

That? Fuck.

No.

Try it again.

Eh, doesn't want to add it.

Ah, shit.

I gotta do another one.

They're on to you.

Skype's on to me?

Yeah, the fuckers.

I gotta know.

Aha! Success.

From the wormhole.

Eventually there will be a way for things like this to go away.

People pranking and blocking.

Hello?

Hi, is Charlie available now?

Is he in the toilet still?

Hello?

Thank you, babe.

I was so angry over there.

Hello?

Hey, Charlie.

yes hey buddy how you doing i called you 30 minutes ago you were outside or something

huh what were you doing i called you like 30 minutes ago you were outside or something i

don't understand what was the matter you okay you call from where i'm calling from pepsico

huh i'm calling from pepsico on the 3100 hang on let me see here uh you got an outstanding bill

three thousand two hundred seventy nine dollars 47 cents place an order last week or what you

You placed an order last week for two crates of orange juice, four cases of Pepsi, and two of Sprite.

No, you're crazy, you.

No, no, I got your confirmation number here.

No, no, no, no.

What's your name?

This is Cross with PepsiCo.

Last week, we made an order for your Pepsi order.

Orange juice, Pepsi, and Sprite.

Remember?

No, no, no, no, no.

Cancel, cancel.

No, it's still here.

$3,279.47.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

How are you?

Don't be a jerk.

What are you talking about?

Don't be a shit, all right?

Just be nice to me.

Hello?

Yeah.

Who's calling?

That person is a jerk.

Who is calling?

I'm calling.

Can you leave a message?

No.

I'm...

Call police.

Huh?

Hello?

Yeah, $3,000.

Can you call the wrong number for here?

$3,279.47.

Hello?

Quiet, Tom.

Are you from here?

No, Charlie.

I've got an order here for...

You want to order?

No, it's 30 days.

Okay, can you write down for you?

Okay, you wait like that.

I can take an order for you.

No, I'm not talking about order.

Why are you making?

Is he threatening you or something?

What's the matter?

You want to take an order?

No.

It's a restaurant.

No, you're 30 days past due on your Pepsi order.

Pepsi order?

You're 30 days past due.

30 days past?

No, yesterday I got somebody call.

We order already.

Yeah, I know, but you're 30 days past due,

and that's an order on top of that.

No, no, no, I just call ready. I call order ready.

Well, I don't know if your information is expired, but they're going to shut...

Maybe you call wrong number, wrong restaurant.

No, but we're going to have to shut down your Pepsi machine over there, is what I'm saying.

I don't want that to happen, you know?

No, nothing problem for machine, but we order the Pepsi ready, so you're going to call again?

No, I'm calling to confirm because that order's not going to come.

The order's canceled.

Whatever, man.

He was going off about calling the police or something there for a while?

Geez, wow.

This is me. Not quite.

Yeah, well.

Okay, keep it going, but just say, yeah, whatever.

Well, Charlie, shoot his pants again.

All right.

Yeah, I got to have some sort of foil.

It's called the French gourmet.

All right, what's he do?

What's he do?

It's called the French gourmet.

Why do we care?

We just.

Now Big Outlaws call me a pussy-ass fag because I won't give him the password.

Should I give him the password?

Everyone in Syndicate...

To what?

To Syndicate.

He wants...

Hello?

I don't give...

I don't care.

This is the French...

Hello?

Yeah.

Hello?

Sir?

Oh, it's one of those stupid phone menus.

And we'll call him back.

Yeah, should I give him the password?

I could give him the password.

Does he deserve it?

The Syndicate?

I don't give a shit about Syndicate.

He can do what he wants to do with Syndicate.

Hey, I'm going to send Big Outlaw the password real quick.

Give me a second

He says I'm supposed to

He says I'm

I'm Rev's friend

And I'm supposed to

Give him the password

And I'm a pussy ass fag

If I don't

Alright I'll do it now

Hang on let me send that to him

You are Rev's friend

And

What

No I am Rev's friend

Oh

Wow

Mr. Grace man

Alright told him I'll email him

So let's get an email from him

him. I'll get that straightened out.

No problem, Big Outlaw.

You're right.

I guess I should send you the password.

No one does. Ever.

Not even pussy-ass fags.

I don't want to come off as a pussy-ass fag.

So, Outlaw, you make sure you give me your email address

and I'll get right on sending you that password, sir.

Okay.

Not even pussy-ass fags

want to be pussy-ass fags.

Okay, stupid.

You see like four or five niggas

With half moons and waving sentience

Cause then they would be pissy ass faggots

Okay stupid redneck

I'll send it to you

Moons and waving sentience

What's really good

Let's try the French-Burmanian

I just don't know what the fuck

He's talking about

He's like

Tumor password, bro.

Fresh front password.

Stop drinking.

Stupid ass.

What the fuck you're talking about, you stupid shit?

Shut up.

Stop sending me texts.

Stop chatting with me, stupid fuck.

Fat annoying fly.

Shut up.

Jesus.

Password, password.

Yeah, give me that password right now.

now. Password. Password. Huh? Password. Hello? Yeah, there's some big fat redneck over there

saying that he wants the password. Give me the fucking password. I'm a friend. And friends

give their friends passwords. You hear him? Say something. I don't remember. What are

the codes? Hello? Give me the codes. Right now. Is this the French gourmet? There's two

of you french man

whatever you say stupid

american

we're calling a fucking steakhouse now

i want to listen to ghostface here ghostface no one can tell a

a story in rhyme better than ghostface killer let's all listen to this real

quick one minute ten seconds

speaking of sucking dick dino's calling in big dino hey man what's his big outlaw band he's he's

he says that i'm supposed to give him the password i think it's one of those fishing emails you know

where he's from nigeria he said that i'm supposed to give him the password he's begging for the

the password that's cool all right probably he was cutting himself the other day too he was

cutting himself yeah i'm on air right now do you know thanks for letting us back we love

all right bro yes sir we'll be done thank you thanks for having me dino all right funny story

dino over there called me like nine o'clock in the morning one day when i was i was in the hospital

waiting for my mom was having open heart surgery i don't know where he's like open heart surgery

it was like two months ago i was sitting there all stressed out so that's the thing about this

happening you just at times of stress you just see a friend from like elementary school walk by

and go hey and it's just like out of nowhere yeah sort of weird things happen dino's great

he started praying with me and everything large amount of grams in it rocked up and she pregnant

my little man got her knocked up he popped up i'm like a crooked cop richard get a big smirk on

Man, I was going to say, Dino sounded like he was calling from a prison cell phone.

Or a pay phone, that's funny.

That's what he was saying.

You have a click hole.

Anyway, I want to say a big what's up to everyone who's here right now.

All over our extended Madhouse Radio Network, course 98.6, The Mouth.

Mikey129 is in the house, MST3Clay, a good friend of ours.

Kogan, he looks like he made it.

He had a feeling he might be stuck at work, but he's there.

He's working diligently on editing our August 3rd episode.

The August 11th episode was updated this morning.

Okay, wait until you find out what happened August 3rd.

I tried editing August 3rd, and to be honest with you, I was like, oh, this show sucks.

I don't want to edit it.

And Coco's like, oh, I'll edit it.

I'm like, whew, take it away.

I'll do the 11th because it's a good show.

A lot of people can corrupt corruption.

He actually knows us from back in the old syndicate days.

Wasted

Justin's in the house

Grishnav

Caustic

Bad Boys of Ohio

checking in

we haven't seen them

in a long time

these names

Brendan Baz

Tuck

Tuck's here

hey Tuck

Tuck's here man

yeah

a lot of others

if it ain't catchy

I'm sorry

it wasn't on purpose

and we'll get to our

cynical people in a moment

and I said I wanted

to hear this story

Ghostface is talking

about getting a blowjob

out from his uh son's uh his son's girlfriend and then his son pulls a gun on him yeah let's hear

that

Oh, wow.

Plays to get a $100 steak.

Word up, some bologna on your face or something, nigga

Make sure my 40 cold, too, when you bring it back

When you get back, bag this shit up, nigga

Word up, I don't give a fuck if you 25, nigga

You my son, nigga

Word up, that's why I let you slide, nigga

Alright, let's go

Let's do that call we was talking about, nigga

Sick of hand smoke, Ken, that's right, enjoy that

Sick of hand fake weed

I can smoke it on cam cause it ain't marijuana

Hey man, officer, what you gonna do?

Mikey, yes, we called the guy 30 minutes ago

He said, call police.

Call police.

He didn't call me.

He didn't say, ah, fuck you.

Fuck you, he always says.

Miami Heat are five and four.

Fuck that, man.

You know what?

Fuck the Heat.

You know what pissed me off last night?

Don't get me started.

I can finish up with you.

Shut up, Ted.

I got all the mail.

Hey, listen, guys.

Ted was over there interrupting my phone call a little bit earlier.

Who's this?

Ted.

You know what I'm talking about?

Chad.

Ted.

You asked how I would interrupt your phone call any time I want to call.

You heard him?

Phone.

S-O.

Yeah, anyway, listen, I was in there.

You don't love me anymore.

I got one of those larger steaks, you know, the expensive one.

Are you here now?

Well, no, I'm on my cell phone.

I had a problem over there.

I got a to-go box with over two-thirds of my steak.

That cost me a lot of money.

Okay, what's the question?

Well, it's not a question, it's a complaint.

I went to the bathroom, I came out, and my box was gone, thrown away.

Where were you sitting at?

I was in table four.

Whose station is that?

I want to talk to them.

You want to talk to them?

I want to talk to who's station that is, yeah.

You can talk to me about it.

What do you do there?

Is there, you know...

I'm the manager here.

All right, so?

So how about we work this out?

How about you go ahead and chop up a ribeye steak for me or something like that?

I don't want any sides or anything.

I just want my meat.

I don't think that's fair.

Hold on.

I went up and went to use the bat maker number one and washed my hands,

and the next thing I know, your people throw away my food that I barely ate.

Whoa, man.

That's not cool.

You know what I'm saying?

That's not cool because I work hard for my money.

So hard for it, honey, all right?

Sure, hold on, please.

All right, fine.

You better treat me right.

Anyway, I was going to say the fucking Jazz beat the Heat in overtime Tuesday night.

Then they come up here to Orlando and play my magic.

The fucking magic winning by 18 points, I think, at halftime.

End up losing by 11.

Third quarter collapse, as always.

Fuck me.

Fucking magic every time.

Every fucking time.

Collapse

against the celtics boston beat them the celtics beat the jazz md fuck me fucking celtics

bunch of fucking hooligan monkeys gorillas i hate them so much i hate boston and i'm sorry

if you got any listeners i i don't like i hate red sox fans big assholes boston fan uh celtics

fans assholes the skin sucks colts rocks how are the colts doing this season anyway i'm quite

surprised um fuck lions are actually having a good season didn't they only win one game last

season now they're actually doing pretty good i heard the giants are doing pretty good now

they're starting to pick up a little bit of steam so i caught those volunteers doing you have any

idea i have no idea oh they suck they suck give me yeah my alma mater ucf uh made the top 25 for

for the first time in history this week.

Yeah, that's awesome.

Eagles beat the Colts.

All I know is my fantasy football team kicked ass last week.

That's all I know about.

But I'm still in fourth place in the league.

I lost four straight.

I had a good start, lost four fucking straight.

I had Tony Romo as one of my two quarterbacks on my team.

Fucking he's out.

I forgot who else it was.

He's out for the season, too.

One of my draft picks was Antonio Holmes,

who was suspended the first four weeks of the season, came back, sucked.

finally had a decent game last week

finally that fuck

got your phone number

good for him

I have no idea what you're talking about

hey good for him

did you hear the latest

man the White Sox are going to go to the Super Bowl this year

the White Sox are going to the Super Bowl

one

well good for them

good for them man

we got numbers from Baz and Saipan

we always have fun calling Saipan

I don't want to miss those

let me give those a call here

um he's sending a black adult bookstore hey uh hey day we got a day center colorectal and

proctology clinic all right let's give them a call here all right i lost something in my ass

what did i eat something i i i ate uh i don't know i ate some money i had a quarter i don't know

i had some weed it smoked potpourri for two months chuckle hey chuckle fit man you're cool

cool people thanks for having me back where's big veracity hey hello sir hi buddy how you doing sir

he didn't like that at all let me call it back and apologize i was confused what can you say

went through a bad time that disneyland's girls up on the camera and syndicate she's

got nice pigtails grab out of those from behind

this lady doesn't even want to pick up anymore now after I call her sir wow she really took

that to heart holy shit lady take it easy it was a mistake all right we'll call the

hard rock caffeine side pan which I believe I've called before and I listened to that

prank earlier today that's the one where I like the guy was like don't call me asshole

I'm such an asshole

Here you are

But you know

It's the whole point

That's what people listen to

So

Call an asshole is sweet

Who put him on

Out of nowhere

It's not for anybody

I do

Calls aren't connected

Hey where has Maven been at anyway

Maven is here is that real Maven or not

I was thinking today where the fuck's Maven been

Forever

And Mia it was that other girl Mia

Big Maven

What's up Maven

Maybe she's coming

Let's see

getting pretty close to break time here 11 30 p.m about 15 minutes we'll be taking a break

coming back and rounding out the show first half is almost up um we're always look forward to that

i got that prank call that was isolated today to the honoree we're in the guy we called a little

bit ago here that asian guy the chinese restaurant we got the first uh set of calls we did to him

four in a row uh back on august 11th very funny stuff um i can't seem to set up uh um baz if you

get checked that saipan number i can't seem to set it up to dial in the auto dialer here in uh

skype i don't know if it needs the country code i thought it didn't need the country code but i

can't find saipan as one of the countries listed here oh i'm gonna be a problem well is it called

something else i think it's called something else so saipan is actually something else what is it

is it malaysia i could be wrong it's one of those like a confederated federation of federations or

something it's got like a name like that federation or something he says he called

I'll work on it, man.

Oh, you know, if it's Google Voice, I can do our whitewash here.

I can launder it, as I like to call it.

This is something we do when we call numbers that we really should be careful with.

Make sure I connect that to the studio here.

Let's see if this works.

It's not taking.

It's missing a digit or something.

Check that number.

Did we receive a request to prank on the site from somebody about a gas station?

Let me see.

Let me refresh that.

The new request to prank doesn't automatically update me.

I have to sit there and refresh it.

Let me see here.

Let's see.

Okay.

There's a message here at 98.6, the mouth, that there was one sent in.

How recently?

Today or earlier?

Like back in earlier or something.

Two months ago.

Two months ago?

Oh, shit.

Oh, man.

Juke.

Pranking question.

He said there was no, you know.

I don't know.

Let me see.

Here we go.

Ann Arbor.

Here we go.

So, yeah, I got it here.

Yeah, okay, yeah, I got it here.

What is it called?

I don't know.

It's a restaurant.

We got a Siggo gas station in Ann Arbor here asking a bunch of price of cigarettes, different other items.

You can send a request to prank to listeners if you're listening right now.

Send in your request to prank.

It's over at madhouselive.com.

I'm going to make that more visible on the front page.

But, okay, we'll do it.

Awesome.

You know, Ken is one of our listeners over there in the chat room.

98.6 the mouth, and he sent one in.

I'm doing it now

Listen to a little bit of

J. Cole

Jew boy asking if you guys are watching me

Enter the porn

Yeah you fucking Jew

Fucking bastard

You fucking Jew shit

Controlling the fucking world

With your fucking devil horns

Why don't you get out of Palestine

Dude I'm an American

Shut the fuck up

You fucking Jews going into Palestine

I was born in America

I am American. I am half white

and half black. Stop calling.

Get out of Palestine.

This is owned by an American.

Be quiet.

Palestine for Palestinians.

Holy shit.

Why did we walk into

there? Holy crap.

She's got all types of issues. She's used to that.

Holy shit.

Take it easy, man.

I've got some serious issues.

Wow.

She's one of those

Half black Jews

Like Sammy Davis Jr.

Was that a

Request a prank

Yes

That's funny

Sammy Davis

Was that a

Request a prank

That was the one

From Request a prank

That was a sit go

Do you know who that was

Oh thanks

We can

Half Croatian

Italian

The gold star

For that one

We can

Let me call her back

Let me apologize

i was confused we got off to a bad we got off to a bad foot there with the anti-semitism

hey i love jews i love jesus he was a jew he's a jewish carpenter i like sammy davis jr he's a jew

uh crusty the clown there you go jews like to swallow jew girls do oh yeah

hi i'm sorry sweet i didn't mean you know to get off on the bad wrong foot with you right

right uh-huh all right do you get that a lot about you not being from america i mean i don't know if

you're i mean no if you're an immigrant it's okay i'm sorry i didn't mean to offend you i'm not an

immigrant i was born in livonia michigan that's all right honey if you are i mean don't you not

you know don't be ashamed of your of your religion or whatever it is that you are i'm not

dude i'm american i'm half white and black okay like um you know my parents are like my

My grandparents are Norwegian.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Oh, that's nice, honey.

All right, so.

Yeah, whatever.

Bye.

God damn.

She just needs a good titty fucking or something.

What the fuck?

Yeah.

She's awesome.

She's a good dickin'.

How you gon' look in your son's face and turn your back?

Then gon' start another family, dawg

What type of shit is that?

She said it's okay

She sounds like a fat kid getting picked on at school

Funny Mike at 129

Good point, cold start for that one

Ding

Too late

Dude, the last time you called, it gave me your number

I'm so

No, I'm blocking

I'm blocking my number, so you don't know

Okay, 0123456, what's that?

That's not my number

Oh, shit

Why don't you call it then?

That's mine

Oh, you're right, that is my number, I'm sorry

Okay

okay listen whatever dude i was thinking sweetie sweetie hang on don't you have a better thing to

do don't aren't you in college or high school or something middle school can't you be putting

a project together no i just wanted to call people and torture them i just haven't done

anything hey listen you mulatto listen to me real quick all right i just want to say maybe

do not call back you need a good dickin just let me get my part out there and we'll be all right

She makes a good point though

I should be studying

I am a college student

Yeah I see

She's got a call

I got your number

What is that

What is that number anyway

What's it

Skype

I don't know.

One, two, three, four.

Skype just, yeah, Skype just generates.

It's supposed to show a Las Vegas area code number

and the ID's supposed to say madhouse.radio.

I don't know why it's not coming up.

It probably is.

I don't know why it's not.

No, honestly, I don't know why it's not.

Let me try to call this side pan number here real quick

before we take that break.

Give me a moment.

She's supposed to be cleaning the store now,

according to Kim.

We have fun with the gas stations.

Boy, she's like fired out of a rocket.

That's a firecracker right there.

Yeah.

probably gets on top oh yeah well it's dialing now but it's busy all right we're getting we're

getting there um uh baz good work man i got i think you're missing a number before sir

that's the show title all right chief motel let's call them real quick

i want to mention anybody who likes hip-hop out there check out j cole he's a very good

good rapper uh he's not talking about he's got this he's got that uh he's out of fayetteville

north carolina uh good stuff he's got an album coming out any day now uh called cold world and

he's the first artist uh signed to jay-z's new independent album i think it's called rock world

or something like that i definitely recommend it hello no one is available to take your call

what's that please leave a message to the tone hello hello i think your telephone the telephone

Phone machines on hello. Okay. Yeah, can you turn that off because you're supposed to tell me that you're recording this

You don't have permission record me first. You understand. Who is this? This is cross

I was calling about the spaces

But I'm not gonna be doing this if you're gonna be recording this call without telling me first

So you're recording the call you got to make that statement real quick. Just a house. We run a motel

We're not tape recording your shit. No, there's a answer machine that just picked up stupid fucking dog

What's with all the women all being all cunty and raggy?

Jesus.

Yeah, what has been going on?

This has been going on for like the past week or so now.

I don't know.

What's up?

My wife's been nagging, nag, nag.

Oh, me too.

Do this, do that.

A bunch of rat in the face.

I don't go into what happened with me, man.

Yeah.

I'm a crab.

Dude, child support.

I hear you.

Fuck that shit.

I don't pay it.

I don't play it.

I'm trying to redial.

This is not working.

I'm just going to take that break.

Try to regroup here before we lose everything.

everything that we're made of uh this is madhouse radio it is uh on november almost at october dude

november 11th wrapping up here pretty soon after that's gonna be uh the fucking uh i mean well

next week we got next week nothing special then and after that it's uh fucking um turkey day yeah

next thursday we're gonna do a thursday show yeah we always do a thursday show we're back to doing

shows on thursday now we're locked into the thursday schedule yeah oh by the way speaking

Speaking of turkeys, Nunu wants you to give a call to his number when you get back.

That's true.

Speaking of turkeys and bombs and duds.

All right, Nunu.

I got that one up.

Nunu's sending in a number.

I see it here.

It's on the big board.

He's silly.

Brits.

When we come back, we'll try to call the Chief Motel again.

I just answered there.

It's a house that's a motel.

That means they have prostitutes there.

We've also got the Die Die Dang restaurant.

We've got Wahoo Heritage Inn, Sundown Motel.

We've got a few super stores here.

We've got a few gas stations, Kangaroo Hotel, and we've also got a place called Monkey Mania.

Be sure to send in your requests over at MadHouseLive.com.

Monkey Mania, Monkey, Monkey, Monkey Mania.

MadHouseLive.com if you're using AOL or Yahoo Instant Messenger, MadHouse Radio.

Again, AOL and Yahoo Instant Messenger is MadHouse Radio.

MSN Messenger is MadHouseAtLive.com.

Be sure to subscribe to our podcast if you haven't yet.

A lot of you have, but I'm just saying, you know, if you didn't, you should.

It's a nice thing.

Help us out.

Pay the rent.

And a lot more here.

Call Ms. Mary and get your recipe back.

Ms. Mary Menzies?

Yeah.

Sweet potato pie.

Yeah, wasn't Jesus coming and he ate a sweet potato pie or something?

Something like that, I don't know.

He stole the Bible.

We got that prank call that I mentioned before, the Honolulu Inn, coming up.

And we got to apologize for all that.

Prank call from 2008.

We're right back.

About five minutes.

Stand by.

Please, please.

I have sinned against you, my Lord, and I would ask that your precious blood would wash and cleanse every stain till it is in the seas of God's forgetfulness, never to be remembered against me.

Most mysterious books ever written is the book of Revelation or the Apocalypse.

This book reveals the future of the world and your part in it.

The book of Revelation, the last book in your Bible, features apocalyptic symbols and secrets.

Madhouse, Madhouse, Madhouse Radio, we'll be right back.

Trap door at the bottom, so when you die, open that trap door at the bottom and you go straight down.

Madhouse Radio is back.

You are bigger than a woman.

You are better than a woman.

We'll always be behind you.

Do not let a woman, ever, ever, make you who you are.

Just because it's in print doesn't mean it's the gospel.

People write negative things because they feel that's what sells.

Good news to them doesn't sell.

How has it impacted you?

My album. My album is number one all over the world.

All over the world. America is the only one because...

I don't want to say too much.

But it's not number one in the United States.

It's a conspiracy.

Never stop helping and loving people the way Jesus said to.

He said continue to love.

Always love.

Bring on the children.

Imitate the children.

Not childish, but childlike

It's the return of the Black Moles with no fans

Scary like that documentary

All right, we're back

Welcome back, people

Go heads, knock down the levees

Knock down the projects

Start another project

Madhouse Radio live on 98.6

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98.6

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Madhouse Radio Network

Second half of the show kicking up here

We're going to be going until about 12.30, 1 o'clock or so.

Depends on how things are going.

We've been having a pretty decent night tonight.

Some okay prank calls, nothing too spectacular.

Definitely better than we did last week.

Okay.

Let's call that shit Nunu's talking about.

I'm like Cassius when I blast molasses out the ass of the masses.

Tatiana was charged with retail theft on October 22nd at JCPenney.

What did she do?

She left the store without paying for $8.99 worth of jewelry.

Wow.

She was released and issued a notice to appear in court.

For $8.99 worth of jewelry? Really?

That sounds like some pretty shitty jewelry.

Let's give her a call and see what she says about that.

I had to take that damn hat off.

My head was all itchy and fucking shit.

Don't fucking go.

Fuck me.

I'm going to have to end the show early because Skype is starting to give me a lot of shit.

There we go.

Now it's working.

Hello.

Hello, Tatiana.

How are you doing?

Hey, big girl.

How are you doing?

Hello.

Who is this?

Hey, this is Cross.

I had a question about, it was $8.99 worth of jewelry, right?

I know you didn't do it and all that.

Did I ask not to call anymore?

It's the wrong number.

No, listen.

I know it's really, because I can tell by your...

by her

by her accent

fucking bitch

now she's gonna pick up

now she's not gonna pick up

I had you guys down

I didn't even realize

you guys weren't even on

fuck

oh KDK called her

Saturday really

Brandon

well shit

that will explain it

what

listen I know it was you

because it's Tatiana

and you sound Russian

or Polish or something

it's obviously you

you want me to call the police

they don't care

they're friends

I have bought out

five different judges

and she does want to listen

thank you KDK

for ruining prank calls

for us

Nunu

thank you for sitting

I think the numbers are K to K already called.

Yeah, god damn it.

You're a traitor.

Holy shit, you're awesome.

You're officially an idiot.

I fucked up my...

You've already called on other shows.

Don't give us fucking sloppy seconds

of other shows.

Why'd you save those numbers for us,

Noonoo?

No more Noonoo numbers.

No more Noonoo numbers tonight.

What's with that? Yeah, dude.

Yeah, really. Seriously, you gotta fucking, you know...

get on the home team here uh new new don't be giving out numbers that you think are good prank

calls and doing them yourself giving out to other people to do for us what's that about

get on the fucking home team here you're gonna be madhouse shit because it's already ruined

because they already know what's up and so it just becomes you know it's stop the peer call

anymore they know what's going on now they know what's up they're on us she already said don't

calling her anymore or what's that about yeah exactly nunu all right that's fine he's got this

thing nunu wants us to do something where we ask about something and say it's disgusting i still

don't understand why it's going to be so funny but i'll do it all right all right okay sir

whatever it is whatever you want nunu i got super saver market i'm gonna ask him to have some kind

of chicken nunu that's not the point the point is you were sloppy seconds regardless even if you

You weren't satisfied with the other show that did the call.

The victim still knows.

What's up?

Yep.

Still rooming.

Hello, thank you for calling Super Safer 56 and Highway 2.

This is Lindsay.

God, you talk a lot.

Listen, do you got chicken there?

Or is it just, like, sundries and stuff?

I'm in the store.

Yeah.

Oh, no, we sell everything.

Oh, you do?

All right.

Yep.

Do you have any organic chicken, like, free range?

Is there someone in the grocery department?

yeah we should have some back in the meat department it's smart chicken and it should

be organic i think it's in like a green package as opposed to a blue package oh that's disgusting

that's disgusting stupid shit that's stupid disgusting i obviously understand what i mean

when i say that's disgusting this obviously is some big fucking deal right you understand

when i say that it's disgusting what am i here for to make you laugh is that what it is

when you say things like that you make me want to say things like that am i here am i funny

am i here to amuse you no okay i'm sorry honey but i am all right i think i think that's the

only chicken that we have so that's disgusting i don't want as long as being organic so whatever

whatever all right were you were you looking for anything else no i'm just you know just calling

say it was disgusting that you don't have chicken but i like the chicken the kind that i like you

know what what kind are you looking for is there like a certain brand that you normally get you

know purdue or something like that i'm in the store you understand and i've already got i've

I've got the chicken in my cart.

I gotcha.

And it's disgusting.

Okay, well, I don't know if I have anybody that can, you know, see if we have any more.

Do you want me to check to see if we have a night manager here that can do that?

Yeah, send him to the bathroom for me.

Okay, to the...

Yeah, and I'm going to reject it.

Okay, and you just...

Are you going to meet him at the meat department?

Yeah, I'm going to put the chicken in the toilet.

I think you can do that, actually.

Well, I already started opening the package, so it's practically bought for now.

Well, did you pay for it?

No.

Okay, hang on just a second.

I haven't left the store yet.

Okay, hang on just a second.

Okay.

It's not stealing until you leave the store.

Chicken's so oozy.

It's sitting there.

The chicken is looking at me in the cart.

Wanting to go organic but think you can't afford it?

Look no further.

I guess I go organic.

There you go.

You'll find everything.

There's your proof right there.

Tea and honey to peanut butter, salad dressings, juice, and tortilla chips.

We even have gluten-free organic items, all at a price you can afford and quality you can trust.

Located throughout the store, clearly organic items are here to help you save every day.

There's been no chicken in my cart.

Yeah, disgusting chicken in my cart.

I really don't understand what the fucking funny thing is about.

I mean, I've seen...

It's all too fresh because the chicken took off with the cart while he was on the phone waiting.

Fuck.

It's half alive.

no he's nuna's been telling me for like a month now i want you to do this prank that's like this

video this old guy and the video is kind of funny because the video is like this old guy he goes

around a shopping he goes around a grocery store and like he's got a camera on him like a hidden

camera in his cart or something and he'll be like hey i left my glasses at home you see this package

is this is this vanilla ice cream or butter pecan and the lady or the guy will say oh that's vanilla

he's like oh i don't want this that's disgusting and he puts it in and he puts it in their cart

Like, you know, I don't want it.

And they always get upset.

They're like, well, don't put it in my fucking cart, asshole.

Like, I don't want it.

You know what I mean?

Instead of putting it back where it goes.

Okay.

And it looks funny when you, but I don't understand how that translates to a prank call.

Yeah.

I'm not seeing it.

I'm trying, man.

I don't know, man.

And you got this thing.

You want to do that.

Dude, we're on permahole.

No, just call her back when you're the one.

Are you still there?

Well, yeah, I'm waiting.

You know, I think I'm on permahole is what my friend was saying.

Okay.

Okay, nope, I'm just waiting for him to come up real quick.

Oh, okay.

It'll be just a minute.

All right, thank you, honey.

Are you still a perma-hole, disgusting chicken boy?

See you, milkman.

Man, I wish Big Outlaw was there.

I've got to tell him something.

Big Outlaw, if you're watching or listening right now, get with me.

I've got that password.

Give me a password, you pussy-ass, pussy-ass, pussy, pussy-ass motherfucker, pussy, fag.

Peace.

I'm going to do another call while you wait on this, I think.

Oh, there's a Whole Foods here.

Oh,

she said to wait.

All right, we got to be polite and wait.

I'm just saying on a...

What is this?

...fabric shot or something.

I don't see you on the camera no more.

Just go in the meantime.

There you go.

Join the call together.

Help you.

Yeah, are you some kind of manager or something, woman?

I am the night manager, yes, sir.

All right, so listen, I'm going to, this chicken is disgusting that I got here.

I'm putting it in the toilet.

Okay.

And I'm not paying for it, is all it is.

It's disgusting.

Okay.

Did you keep your receipt, sir?

No, I didn't pay for it.

Didn't pay for it?

No, I'm in the store.

I'm not going to pay for it.

Yeah, I'm not going to pay for it, and it's not stealing unless I leave the store.

But I'm opening the package.

Okay, are you going to put it in the toilet?

I'm going to open the package and stamp on it and put it in the toilet.

Okay, at that point, that would actually be property damage, and you would go to jail for that?

But it's not one of these properties, not yours.

You don't own it.

No one's bought it yet.

It's B&R's.

Not until it gets bought.

No, it's not.

Not until you buy it.

It's a store's property, sir.

Not until you buy it.

You're not a customer until you buy something.

Well, it's not your property.

That's what I'm saying.

It's not your property.

Listen, I'm an attorney, so I know what I'm doing here.

And I think I have more authority over you.

I think it's best you just turn a blind eye and be quiet and not say anything.

I'm going to do this thing.

We're going to do this thing.

Okay.

Okay. Well, if you are, in fact, in the store, I will go ahead and have my guys find you.

We will call the police, and I guess you will have to use your attorney, you know,

capabilities to get yourself out of prison today, this evening,

because it would be property destruction.

It's nobody's property. It's a chicken. It's a living thing.

It belongs to nature and God. You can't do anything about it.

It's the source property.

No, it's not. You don't own animals and property and things like that.

No, it's not. It's disgusting. This thing is disgusting.

You don't know where in the store I am, and you're not going to find me.

Oh, it's not a problem.

I can have my guys find you just shortly.

How many guys are coming?

No, I actually know how many guys.

Well, let me see.

I got about 10 guys in the store right now, so I can blanket the store in probably about

five minutes.

All right, go ahead.

You're on.

I'll stay on the line.

All right, buddy.

Have a good night.

No, I'm going to stay on the line.

Stay on the line.

Wow.

That was a weird conversation.

He's like, he's going to blanket the store.

Right now, he's calling a code red.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, you're a tough guy.

Yeah.

He's calling a code Adam.

Yeah.

Code Adam.

I just hopped the loogie inside of your chicken and put it back in the counter.

Which one is it?

Oh, oh, oh.

Well, that boy's going to be selling proper, so I'm going to fucking...

Whatever, dude.

All right, guy.

I like how he said, you're going to go to prison.

Damn, I did a chicken.

Nino says you're supposed to be the other customer, Tuck.

We're calling a hotel in Australia.

What?

I don't know.

We're calling a hotel in Australia.

Oh, I'm not there.

How can I be the other customer?

Oh, we're in a hotel now?

Am I a customer in a hotel?

I really need to talk to Big Outlaw ASAP.

If anybody out there knows where I can get a hold of Big Outlaw, please tell him he needs to get a hold of me as soon as possible.

Yeah, I need to speak with Outlaw.

Sorry?

Hey, listen, I got a problem with this chicken over here.

Hello?

Yeah, go on.

Yeah, I'm staying in the hotel.

What hotel?

The Kangaroo Hotel.

Oh, no, mate, you've got the Cock and Bull Tavern.

Oh, the Cock and Bull Tavern?

Yeah, well, I'm staying in the hotel, though.

I'm staying in the hotel.

Is that a problem?

Uh, hotel here.

Well, I know.

I'm calling from the hotel, though.

Okay?

But I'm putting this stuff in the toilet because it's disgusting.

Where about you calling from?

I'm calling from the hotel.

The Kangaroo Hotel, right?

Have you come from the Cock and Bull?

Yeah, I came from the Cock and Bull, and all this stuff that you people gave me, I'm putting in the toilet. I'm going to flush it.

What did they give you?

Nasty, disgusting shit. It's just disgusting stuff. Papers that they gave me here, food, fried things.

I don't understand.

Well, I'm putting it down the toilet, and I'm holding you responsible for whatever happens, any damage.

So I was calling to get your papers and your information on that, because I'm reporting you.

For what?

I'm going to damage something over here at the hotel, and I'm blaming you for it.

What are you damaging? I don't understand where you're coming from. What's happened?

I'm putting a damage on the toilet in the bathroom.

Which one?

The one in my hotel room, but I'm blaming it on the Cock and Bull Tavern.

Why? I'm not associated to a hotel, to any rooms.

No, I'm just saying that you people, you know, did this.

That people from where you work did this damage here to the toilet.

Who did the damage?

Well, I am, but I'm blaming you for it.

Why?

Because I don't like you people.

Because you gave me disgusting stuff over there.

It's disgusting. I'm using it to damage the bathroom.

So you've come to the Cock and Ball.

You're telling me you've come to the Cock and Ball, and we've given you what?

Disgusting service.

Right.

When was that?

Recently. About the last hour or so.

Right. So you came here for lunch?

Yep.

And you received what? Bad service and bad food?

Bad food, bad service.

And all the food that you gave me, I'm putting it in the toilet.

I'm going to flush it, and I'm going to break the toilet with a hammer.

I'm going to start hitting it with a hammer.

And why would you do that?

To get you people in trouble.

What's your name?

This is Cross.

I don't understand why you're ringing me and what you're doing.

It just doesn't make...

I'm the general manager here, and I've been a manager here for four years.

Yeah, that's good.

What was your name?

My name's Gary.

Gary what?

But I still don't understand what it is that you're trying to do

and what it is that you're complaining about.

Well, I'm getting information,

because now I'm going to tell them that Gary damaged the toilet.

Gary at the tavern.

What hotel are you staying at?

The Kangaroo Hotel.

And where's that?

On Malden.

In Melbourne?

Yeah.

As in Melbourne, Victoria.

Right.

So how can you be here an hour ago and be in Melbourne now?

Now I'm from Melbourne.

This is not making any sense.

No, I'm damaging the hotel room, you understand?

I'm going to make damage here, but I'm not going to pay for it.

I'm holding you people responsible because I had a bad experience here and I'm upset.

So you're going to damage the hotel room and then you're going to blame us?

Yeah, because I got bad service and I'm going to say that you people literally came here and threatened me in the room.

And you broke things trying to hurt me.

I think you need help.

Well, yeah.

Yeah, I mean, we can sell this right now by you giving me some money.

Is that right?

That's right.

How about you come to the hotel and face me one-on-one, and we'll discuss it,

and then we'll have a look at the situation from there.

Are you threatening me?

No, I'm not threatening you.

I'm asking you to come and discuss it with me.

No, you tell me to come down there so you can hurt me,

and you're threatening me about putting your hands on me and my person.

I'm writing that down, too.

Now I got that on you.

You obviously need some psychological help.

You really do.

So, have a good afternoon, and I hope everything goes well.

And wherever you're from, I really hope that you have a good trip back.

How big a boy are you?

Oh, man.

He's a moron for a while, for even listening to that story.

I don't know why he's still on the phone.

Yeah.

Well, yeah, I know.

He's got nothing else to do, apparently.

I confused the shit out of that phone.

Oh, damn murder.

Yeah.

All right, let's continue on.

What are you doing?

For a number, bitch.

bitch. Let's call the Kangaroo Hotel

which is what I meant to call the first time around.

Milkman, you alright? Milkman?

Breathing heavy again?

Yes, breathing heavy.

Something was happening.

Kangaroo Hotel, Casey speaking.

Hey, how big a girl are you?

How big a girl are you?

How big of a girl are you?

Why's that? Because I'm trying to size up, see if

you're a threat or not to me. No, I'm not

a threat. Oh, you're not? Are you a big girl?

No. Oh, you're not overweight

weight or anything are you sure yes like even 20 pounds or anything like that no oh that's good

listen um i had a bad experience and i'm gonna have to make some damages here in the hotel and

toilet you understand okay um so i'm not gonna be held responsible for this i got a man named

gary's is um responsible for all the damages that are going to happen here in the hotel room

in a little bit because i had a bad experience at the restaurant okay i'm just letting you know now

Now, they're probably going to take a hammer to the toilet, the commode.

Come on, lady.

Well.

Come on, lady, really.

I'm trying to connect them all at the same time again so I can explain this.

She didn't laugh, that one.

She just hung up like a chicken.

Hey, Cocker Motel.

Yeah, hi.

Is this the Kangaroo Motel?

Sorry?

Is this the Tavern or the Motel?

It's Cocker Motel.

Yeah, listen, I was just talking to Gary.

You know what I'm talking about?

That feminine guy?

Yeah.

All right, now, he was threatening me over there to come down,

that he was going to come damage the hotel room, he said.

Okay, I'll just grab him for you.

You guys, yeah, we'll get him.

Afternoon, Gary speaking.

Yeah, Gary, that woman that was just on the line,

she said that she heard you saying all the stuff you were going to do.

She's aware of it.

What was her name?

Look, I don't know what this is about.

I don't know who you are.

I really don't.

If you ring again, I'll involve the police, all right?

Have a good one.

Well, I've got jurisdiction over that now.

What's it called?

Diplomatic immunity?

Shit, that's what I meant to say.

Fuck.

Getting slow in my old age.

They got diplomatic immunity.

Now we got numbers in England. We got my own mark. There we go. Hello. Hey, how you doing there, big girl?

Who's this? Hey, this is Cross. How you doing? Cross? Yeah, Cross. You heard about me?

There was some problems over there the other day. Oh. Now you're supposed to have, you're supposed to have a envelope over there with the information about me.

Now's the time to open it. You people weren't supposed to open it till you got this phone call.

Now is the time to open the envelope. What are you talking about, man?

The secret envelope?

You're supposed to open it when I call in.

It's time for your secret instructions.

Now go open it up.

What's your name?

This is Cross.

And who are you calling from?

I'm calling from the United States International Business Telephone Machines.

Imposter with that one.

Was that a girl or a guy?

Oh, man, I'm all happy.

It was a girl.

The fuck that was?

Try to call back.

Yeah, what's the problem over there?

Were you hanging up the phone without permission?

Hello?

Continuing on with music here real quick while I regroup again.

Trying to see if I can keep the show going until 1.

That seems like a long

Fucking hour from now

It is officially midnight though

So that means it's officially

November the 12th

Officially Friday

TGIF

You know obviously

There are a lot of like

Threatened fucking

Little white

Faggot kids

Over in Syndicate

Who are like really

Fucking concerned about shit

I don't know what the

Fucking problem is

They may do nothing

But hating on me

And the whole show

I don't know what

What's the fucking problem

problem really what's the fucking problem ever since i started doing the shows like oh this guy

here he's doing a show let me sit here and talk shit about him the whole show like it's going to

be fucking productive i'm a fucking jew i'm fucking there's like three or four i don't

understand what the what the big fucking deal is here and you can't give someone a fucking chance

stupid shit what what's the fucking problem i don't understand you know i'm doing the show

as far as you can start i'm doing a show for the first fucking time let's all fucking fuck me

right let's all jump on top of me and being a fucking asshole about it oh yeah that's really

really fate makes fucking sense you're fucking whatever what are you talking about rev anyway

i think rev has rev has like beef with him or something right now

rev fucking sucks if rev sucks enough that beef with them that means they fucking suck

really fucking bad i'll keep doing a show here just to be a fucking asshole i'm glad because

the fucking dude in charge of his dino he said he wants me on 10 to 1 so fucking complain to

Nadine will get me kicked off there.

Fine.

So I'm going to keep doing this show.

I'm going to do the suckiest ass show in Syndicate from now on Thursday nights, 10 to 1.

And I'll do my regular show on Wednesday nights.

How about that?

Just because I'm a fucking asshole, I'm going to do it in fucking sunglasses all fucking night.

What's going on?

Because I'm a fucking asshole.

Wait a minute.

I was in the bathroom.

What happened?

What's going on?

It's like four fucking little white fags over there in Syndicate.

They got some fucking problem.

There's some bunch of faggots or something like that.

ever since i came on the fucking show fuck this fuck that oh you're fucking funny you got a fucking

shirt that says greets the fuck is wrong with you fuck you then fuck all i don't give a fuck

about syndicate city and kiss my fucking ass it's a piece of shit did you yeah i'll keep i'm gonna

keep doing a show until they fucking kick me off fuck syndicate fuck everyone syndicate syndicate

sucks syndicate is a piece of shit syndicate radio is a bunch of fucking uh loser ass fucking

bitches fucking uh punk ass loser fucking bitches that aren't good at radio all right

right there we go you're gonna get it from me now oh you're gonna sit there and talk shit about me

well fucking anyone does a show on syndicate fucking sucks that's what i think fuck fuck

syndicate i'm dino as a matter of fact call me on the phone and beg me to come on syndicate he said

that the numbers have been falling down and he sent me money by paypal so as far as i'm concerned

i'm obligated to do a show on syndicate because dino sent money here for madhouse radio to be on

for the next few months he's paying for our hosting and our skype and our shoutcast shit

So fuck you

You know right

You don't like it

Then fucking tune out

I don't think anybody

Should be watching

Syndicate right now

I feel like you're

Mad at the wrong

People

All 30

You should be mad

At Dino

For putting my

Fat spick ass

On Syndicate

If you don't

Fucking like it

Why don't you

Call Dino right now

Make him kick me

Off the fucking airs

Cause I'm such a

Fucking asshole

I'll continue doing the show

Let's make Syndicate

Happy you ready

Let's make Syndicate

Happy you ready

Fuck fuck fuck

Fuck you

I can't I'm gonna give the password out the big outlaw so anybody big outlaw if you're listening

fuck you fuck you okay big outlaw I'm gonna give the password out to you and Rev I got

Rev's phone number let's just call Rev right now let me get Rev's phone number on my cell phone

as a matter of fact this is a secret plan big outlaw and Rev and I are actually uh counter

revolution where the new world order of um syndicate radio we've taken over we now have

command and control of the password and now we're going to take over syndicate radio and that was

that was the whole plan the whole time

whatever instead of just being instead of you people just being cool and watching a fucking

show or listening to a fucking radio show you just have to sit there and be assholes and be

be fucking nonproductive all right that sounds fun it just it just reminds me why i stopped

doing shows on syndicate with inferior people inferior uh people who aren't really good radio

man milkman what's wrong and katie k and shit like that you know just i thought i just think

that carlito's straight attitude is interfering with their gay porn watching each other

whacking off to their cameras you know what they gotta do what they gotta do

I got confirmation

Big Outlaw is talking to me

I'm sending in the password right now

Big Outlaw

He's going to be calling in here in a little bit

So stay tuned

Big Outlaw and Rev are going to be calling in here

Conference call

And we're going to make the new announcement

About the new direction of Syndicate Radio

Our plan has succeeded everybody

The evil plan has succeeded

The fifth column

At work again

Oh my god

All right, let's get to it.

That's the name of it.

Look out.

Oh, I got you all.

I've got too many cosmopolitans tonight, everybody.

All right, we got numbers in England.

It's just some wake-up calls.

I'm going to talk to the bitch at a sit-go again now that can't say anything.

That lady's funny.

Okay, I've got your number.

and i'm half white half black

it's windy in the uk new zeus busy well it rang at first they got this thing in the uk i think

they have the ability to like pick up the phone and make it busy instantly because this happens

a lot unless it's something with the underground cable or some shit it's a damn shit there's some

talented people on syndicate but they got a lot of um fucking assholes on there that watch it

and want to do shows and they suck at it because they see other people that do and they're halfway

decent so they're like oh man i gotta get a shot i'm gonna do a show i'm gonna sit there and let's

start let's start let's tell my listen to syndicate all i heard was like a couple from

you know new jersey and stuff they're just screaming at each other just the most hateful

shit at each other that was that was the show hello hey big guy how you doing hello hey listen

I said I'm going to make some damage over here.

These syndicate fucks keep fucking around with me.

You understand?

They suck.

You tell them to shut up over there.

What?

You shut up.

You understand?

Shut up.

Say again.

I said I want you to shut up and turn the radio down.

It's too loud.

I keep hearing you and I want you to make so much noise over there.

Pardon?

You make too much noise over there.

I want you to shut up.

Who's this?

This is Cross and I want you to shut up.

Shut up.

You talk too much.

Oh boy, you never shut up.

You get what I'm getting at.

Come on, man.

Just dig with it.

i want you to shut up you know what happened i cleared out every single song out of my itunes

itunes um win app library for some fucking reason i have no idea why anyway same with syndicate they

got some decent people that do shows there some of them all right i guess there's those um there's

those wiggers that are on saturday nights from new york they're pretty cool they seem pretty nice

i don't understand what goes on there anymore i try to watch and it's a bunch of yeah like you

said just people yelling or people playing music sitting down yelling oh she got over it because

again it's more of the bullshit it's bullshit yeah she was back there it was cool yeah there's

still some decent talent on there definitely well remember they started changing all the servers and

everything went downhill after that yeah yeah that's true that's kind of why we uh looked down

that's gonna be such a fucking prick just to be just to do it fuck it i don't know why i even

bother going back to syndicate it just gets worse and worse the pool gets worse and worse every

fucking time i try to come back to it do you know it basically works out you know i won't be on for

a while and you know it was a hey man we got an opening you want to do it and i'll say yeah you

know we used to have some good times let's indicate there's some good people there still

yeah sure and there's some good people there so there's a lot of good people like chuckle fat

people like that i still like them all and i get on there and it's usually usually i think

was big some republican people i know are cool too you know it just you know it happens like that

you know man it's like people don't even know my show and they're like hey it's like dude what

what like what the fuck what's your fucking problem i'm waiting the baby shallow water

for the shallow mind like i never heard of these guys i do all these shows we're at a different

level we get paid i got paid tonight lady that's about that's about it right there i don't even

know who i called i'm just fucking dialing who are we calling who are you calling simon barnes

are you awake

all right let's all be quiet listen to this next verse i dedicate this to syndicate radio

and then we'll do a call here wake up call to brian tucker moving right along we're calling

brian tucker in hampshire england we also got a number here for jennifer lindsey in england

If you got your prank call request, send them in.

We got about 45 minutes left to show.

This is Madhouse Radio.

Started out November 11th.

Now it's November 12th.

Counting down the days until Thanksgiving.

I'm still talking about Thanksgiving, but I haven't had a nice big meal in a while.

And I don't know.

It's hard to believe.

You need to call Miss Mary Menzies and find out about your sweet potato pie recipe.

I don't know the number, Milkman.

Do you know the number?

I don't know it.

All I know is I haven't called.

I'll have to look.

I'll find it again.

I haven't called Mary Menzies since like 2005.

2005, that's all I know.

I don't know where the fuck she's at.

What, are you crazy?

So we're on board.

Are we going to be able to do a Thanksgiving show?

Tuck, you're going to be around?

Because you usually have family over and shit at the big house

with Uncle Tom's slaves serving the whites.

I thought Tuck was leaving.

Why the hell are you leaving?

Hello?

Hey, buddy, how you doing?

You just woke me up.

I had you down here for a wake-up call, sir.

What?

I had you down that you wanted to be woken up.

I don't understand why.

Why? I think it's rather silly if you ask me.

Yeah, I actually think so.

Yeah? So, are you going back to...

Who are you speaking from?

I'm calling from...

Who are you speaking from?

I'm calling from New York.

Bloody hell, we're in England.

Yeah, I know. I was just calling around.

Yeah.

Yeah, I wanted...

Well, that's a bit silly, isn't it?

Well, are you awake?

No, I'm trying to get back to sleep.

Is there anybody else there with you, or are you alone?

I've got my family here.

Do you mind? You're waking us up.

All of them, or just you?

Did they all wake up? Did they hear the phone?

No, you've got all of us here.

Oh, okay.

What, are you going to make breakfast now?

Or are you going to go back?

No, I'm going to go back to sleep.

When do you have to wake up?

What time?

I don't want to call.

No, I'll call you later when you're awake so we can talk a little bit.

No, thanks.

I don't want to.

Thank you.

Now, maybe you have any women there in the family or just men?

Hello?

Oh, buddy, come on, man.

I'll talk to that guy again.

I'll call him back.

Let's let him get back to sleep.

Then we'll call him and wake him back up again.

That's cool.

So you woke up the whole family.

Let's call Jennifer here now.

Sing him a lullaby.

Sing him a lullaby so he can go back to sleep.

I'm not saying.

Milkman, you're on the line.

You want to sing a lullaby.

Goodbye, baby.

Oh, yeah.

Giving nightmares.

I'll call Jennifer instead.

You can sing to Jennifer.

Your call cannot be taken at the moment, so please leave your message after the tone.

Milkman, sing.

Take it away.

Yes, why is it so windy out tonight?

Oops.

I hung up with the wrong person.

I hung up with Milkman and said, oops.

Hang on, let me call Milkman back.

Sorry, buddy.

Give me a second.

Did I wake you up?

Yes, you woke me up.

What the hell is wrong with you?

I hung up on you in an accident, man.

Jennifer didn't pick up.

Yeah, sorry.

We got Godfrey here.

That's a cool British name.

I like that.

Bollocks, bollocks.

I want to mention here that fucker Haydig, he keeps making...

There's an old still shot that comes up in his folder,

the still shots that we got from back when we first started this show,

like six, seven years ago, whatever, which is using the old CRT monitors.

He seems to think that I still have nothing but CRT monitors.

Maybe I'll turn my camera around so you can shut up with your stupid comment that really isn't that offensive,

but just to show that you're a stupid idiot.

Once the camera fits back up.

There's my one flat panel.

Oh, hang on.

Here's another one.

Oh, hang on.

There's my other one.

Okay.

I seem to have nothing but flat panel monitors here.

Nothing but the flat panel monitors here, sir.

Are you done yet?

Did you need me to take the picture out?

Oh, my God.

I'll take the picture out.

He's using the CRT.

Oh, man.

That means this show has to be a low-quality show.

Oh, my God.

All right, continue.

Let's play some more Beastie Boys, though.

Not this song, though.

Electric Worm.

That's one I like.

Oh, yeah.

All right, moving right along.

Lonesome, come on.

More numbers, man.

Come on.

Chop, chop.

I'm calling Godfrey, but you got to send in more numbers, sir.

I'm a prank monkey.

You must keep me entertained.

Welcome to voicemail.

Ah.

Fail.

Now,

i want to call back the grocery store that i said i was going to put the chicken in

the toilet which how do you how do you really take that store looking for you how do you really

take a threat like that seriously i don't understand i worked at a grocery store for

like the first five six years of my professional working life from like 15 on what was like 20 21

i don't think i'd really take a i don't know i understand for the most part at first you know

really i wouldn't care because i ain't the fucking store i don't fucking own albertsons

I don't care.

Do whatever you want.

I remember once I used to work in a liquor store at the grocery store.

They had an attached liquor store.

And I remember once, like, the manager came.

You used to manage the Publix Deli.

No, I didn't.

You used to be the manager at Publix.

No, I didn't.

The manager came over to the liquor store.

He said, hey, man, there's a string of robberies going on this weekend.

They hit three of our liquor stores in town.

They're probably going to hit this one.

You're going to be working all weekend.

I'm like, yeah.

He's like, I want you to know.

You see someone coming in.

Make sure you block that door.

Don't let them out.

Now, I'm like, the fuck you talking about?

That's not my fucking, I don't care if the fucking guy wants to steal a fucking bottle of Absolute.

The fuck do I care?

Let him steal the fucking $10, $20 bottle of Absolute.

I'm going to put my fucking life at risk for fucking Mr. Albertsons.

I don't give a fuck.

The fuck?

I don't own the fucking liquor store.

What the fuck do you think I'm going to risk my fucking ass because a Mexican wants to steal a fucking bottle of vodka?

Let this fucking alcoholic guy steal the vodka.

Go ahead.

Here, let me give you all the lottery tickets while you're at it.

So basically, you know, I told them I didn't care.

they're they took me out of the liquor store after that i guess they thought i was giving the glass

rose holders on those roses you know those glass uh crack pipes that they put roses in

yeah oh yeah right yeah yeah you know what yeah like yeah the rose little roses gets thrown away

they had a grocery store not a grocery was a gas station here in orlando that was selling those

things and for free they would sell you a little piece of chore boy the little um the steel wool

that you use to clean it out at the end there was actually a story uh i think i think it was

It was, like, Arkansas or Alabama or something.

Yeah, Alabama, where a little store was actually selling crack pipes.

Really?

Actual pipes?

A little convenience store.

Yeah, like a little gas station was actually in some small city in Alabama was actually selling actual crack pipes.

Oh, wow.

That's what they called it, anyway.

Do you have to have a special pipe for that shit?

I don't understand.

Can't you just put it in a regular, you know?

That's not how they're building it.

It looked like just basic glass pipes.

I don't know.

But still, you know.

It wasn't a head shop or nothing.

Glass pipe, really.

I don't think anything works.

I think you make it out of a Coke can, dude.

Oh, yeah.

I'm sure Crackhead can make Crackpap out of just about anything.

Make Crackpap out of his dick.

I'm pretty sure, yeah.

You know.

Hello.

Thank you for calling.

How are you?

Have you anything cute?

This is Amanda.

Yes, sir.

How are you doing?

Fine.

How are you?

I'm good.

Listen, do you have those...

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Help me.

What was your name?

Amanda?

Yes.

And what's wrong with your voice?

Are you a little nervous or something?

I have a cold.

You don't usually sound like this?

Like chicken?

No, I have a cold.

Jesus is here, my son.

What is your problem?

Hmm?

You called?

Yeah, you called us.

I said, Jesus, help me.

Amanda, you called?

I'm here now.

No, he's here.

Jesus is online.

Jesus, take it away.

Hi.

I just didn't...

Good work, Tuck.

What the fuck was that?

I don't know.

She's got a cold.

I'm going to accuse her of not having a cold.

Just don't interrupt, Tuck.

Hang on.

What number was it here?

I thought it was like

when the cynic in the ass

is giving you a number.

No.

You thought it was

when the cynic...

I thought it was

when someone was

giving a stupid girl voice.

I thought it was...

Yeah.

I was like,

wait, is this

a high-pitched Eric voice?

I was like,

wait a minute.

Oh, shit.

Something like that.

Or just someone...

I still have voice mail

from high-pitched Eric

calling the mouth line

just cursing me out

for no reason.

He just fucking...

Yo, Colorado,

fuck you.

50, 180,

this is Jennifer.

Hey, listen,

is there that guy

over there

with the funny voice?

Can I talk to him again?

Who?

The guy with the funny voice.

Oh, the guy with the funny voice.

The Amanda guy?

No, she's not available right now.

What's she doing?

Is she in the toilet?

I guess.

Oh, yeah?

You have a nice toilet there?

I guess.

Well, do you use it ever or no?

No, not really.

Do you ever sit down in the toilet there or do you hover when you use it?

Oh, no.

You don't sit down on it?

No.

It's dirty?

You wouldn't want to sit down on it, right?

No.

All right, so you hover?

You do that thing where you hover on top of it?

Yeah.

Do you put your panties to your ankles or do you put them at your knees?

No, what is it that you need?

I'm just trying to draw a mental picture about this thing.

Okay, well, what else do you need?

Is it usually clear or does it come out kind of dark yellow?

No, clear.

Clear? That's good. You know why? That's good.

Do you drink a lot of tea?

No, water.

Water? Yeah, that's why. It's clear. That's good.

That's good. I like that. That's attractive.

That means you're clean inside.

So you don't have a lot of problems with yeast infections and stuff like that, right?

No.

Oh, that's good. That's good.

Yeah, I think you're compatible. I think we should mate.

Okay.

All right, do you want to mate with me in vaginal sex?

No, I'm married.

Thank you, though.

No, I mean, he can watch.

Huh?

He can watch.

No, seriously, we're supposed to be the new progeny or something like that.

There's the Dalai Lama, you know.

Oh, what is it that you call for?

No, it's Top One.

It's a sock or...

Big Amanda.

Oh, yeah, she's in the toilet right now.

Well, how long has she usually taken?

Do you think she's doing number one or number two?

I don't know.

It's a long way back there.

Can I have her cell phone?

Her cell phone?

I don't have her cell phone.

You don't hang out with her after work or anything?

No.

Oh, that's cool.

Do you drink?

Do you party?

Yeah, when I'm not here.

Yeah?

Like smoke?

Yeah.

Do you guys got K2 there at all?

Do what?

Do you guys have K2 there at all or anything like that?

No.

Do you guys have any of those pills, those yellow jackets?

I think so.

Go read one of those for me.

I just want you to read it to me.

I won't waste any time.

Well, I know that, but I have to get back to work.

Otherwise, I'm going to get in trouble.

All right, honey.

Okay.

Well, have a good night, okay?

Can I call you later?

Well, I don't know.

Do you have MySpace?

You're going to get, you're going to, huh?

Are you on MySpaces?

No.

Oh, you don't have Spaces?

Oh, what about Facebook?

No.

You're just going to say no and you really do anyway.

Do you have kids?

No, I don't.

Do you have kids or anything tying to this husband of yours?

No.

Well, that's cool.

So we can, you know, have an affair.

That's cool.

Yeah.

You like ice cream?

Yeah.

All right, so I'll make you some ice cream.

I have an ice cream maker.

I got it for my honeymoon and I haven't used it yet.

So I thought maybe I'll make you some ice cream.

You come over and I'll make you ice cream.

Okay, but I got to get back to work, okay?

Oh, but you're interested.

That's cool.

So, all right.

What was your name?

You're not Amanda then, right?

No.

Oh, who are you?

Are you the other broad?

Are you allowed to tell me your name?

Huh?

Can you tell me your name?

I'm Cross.

How are you doing?

Nice to meet you.

Alyssa.

All right, Alyssa.

We're going to eat ice cream.

Okay.

All right.

Well, I got to get back.

I got to go, okay?

All right.

I think it's better ice cream than what you have there.

Do what?

It's better ice cream than what you have there.

Oh, I'm sure.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Okay.

And you'll eat it together, ice cream.

Okay.

All right.

That's cool.

Thanks, Melissa.

Yeah.

All right, bro.

You have a good night, okay?

All right, sir.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Goodbye.

Bye.

I don't know where to go with that shit.

What a polite little conversation that was.

Never do that to me again.

You got to save that one right here.

Put that one out there for me.

12 30 a.m on the dot we got more wake-up calls here in england let's give them a call wake people

up in england yay yeah who's calling yeah lindsey hello hey lindsey what's up big girl how you doing

good morning hi hey lindsey you'd like lindsey yeah she there just for a moment thank you she's

not here at the moment who's speaking please oh she said she's not there at the moment no he's

speaking please oh this is cross she said i was supposed to give her a call at this time

but it's funny that you asked you asked her first and then all of a sudden she's not there

no because she's not a she that's a he yeah all right well i'm supposed to call about the

financial aid anyway you're supposed to call with financial aid yes she's three months past due he

is three months but it whatever whatever thing it is is lindsey lindsey three months past due i think

i think you must have something a wrong number or something no this is lindsey alicot yeah

I'm sorry, can I put you down an obligation for this obligation?

Hang on a minute.

He's here.

All right, connect me at once.

Hello?

What's going on here that you don't pay your bills?

Huh?

Lindsay?

Who am I speaking to?

This is Cross.

I'm calling you from International Business Machines.

Why do you have a girl's name?

You're a wind-up merchant.

It's very early in the morning here.

Yeah, but you have a girl's name and you're past due 30 days.

If I find out where you live, you wish you had a girl's name.

Good point.

Fuck me.

Do you know it's half past five in the morning?

Not here in the United States, sweetie.

No.

Well, I'm calling for the-

No.

Because you people are skipping out on your bills.

Go have a run.

Go have a what? A run?

Nunu, translate that. What the fuck's have a run?

Like I have diarrhea?

Go get diarrhea!

Alright.

Good point. You're a good fucking man.

Why do they always just tell you what time it is?

Like, you don't know what time it is.

Like, I don't know what time it is.

I know, they always do that.

Every single time I wake them up,

do you know it was half past four?

Everybody's talking England.

They're always like,

you have to, like, take a sample of the Big Ben chimes

or Westminster ding, ding, ding, ding.

Boom, boom.

Every fucking time they do some fucking dumb shit.

All right, cool.

Play the chimes to them, the funky chimes.

It's that time of year.

What time is it?

It's 530 in the mama, dude

I was born in class with the big big brass with Jake

I should call him and say that right at the beginning

Hey, do you know it's 530?

Do you know it's half past five?

That's what they say

They don't say 530

They say, do you know it's half past five?

If I could count them any time

Yeah, ask them what time it is

How many times I've heard that

First thing when you get them on there

Start doing this

Start asking them, what time is it?

Oh, my daughter knows that early

Oh, thank you very much

I need to set my clock back

I forgot to change my clock

talk to him all right girl's name and he said what if he found out where i live he's gonna

i'm gonna wish i had the girl's name and to take a run is that what she said go take a run

what the fuck anyway we're calling the neighbor we're calling somebody else now to wake him up

oh shit my camera's on pointing the wrong way let me fix that whoops can i see your gay porn

gay porn but your files the secret bbw porn hello joseph joseph joseph hung up

Let's call the...

Is it Brian Tucker that we woke up earlier?

That we rang up?

Let's give them a call.

Luke, man, you should...

Luke, man, you call them.

You talk and complain that you got woken up.

And ask how they got woken up also.

I just want to see what happens if you do that.

Nunu says, as of the turn down, they're winning.

Hello?

Who in the bloody hell is this calling me at this time in the morning?

Pardon?

Why are you calling me at this time in the morning?

How can I be calling you when I've answered the phone?

Here.

Your number come up on my telly.

I'm going to write you a letter.

They hung up.

That's pretty funny, though.

How could I be calling you?

Oh, jeez.

Wow.

They really don't like being called.

Here, I got the camera fixed back on my fat ass.

Your Greek ass.

My fat Greek ass.

I want to talk to the guy again there.

Fuck, that's not fair.

Cock blocking us, that woman is.

You have to get the dildo cam out there.

Yeah, we're almost out of show because we're actually almost out of Skype credit.

I don't feel like getting the old wallet.

Right now, it just seems like a lot of work.

oh geez how much you got 24 cents how much does it cost wow fuck damn i haven't noticed i just

looked at it now it's in red except i don't got money just don't want to get the wall it's late

anyway i was out of the right hello yeah hi i'm sorry that i wake you up hello hello yeah hey uh

yes sir what time is it that was milkman's idea what the hell is it yes it is indeed everybody

5.38 a.m.

5.38 a.m. right now where we're calling in the UK

just to wake them up.

Stupid pastime of ours here that we do

sometimes when we run out of ideas

for the show. We just start waking people up

in Europe. I love your glasses

there, dude. Those are awesome, man.

Oh, dude, it's even better to wear them.

Are you crazy? Put the hat back on

and the Elton John thing and the

Captain Tennille all in one.

I'm going to have to put...

Hi, Tanner.

Hey, do you know what time it is?

Hello?

Yeah, it's 5.30 in the morning.

What's going on here with the phone ringing?

I don't even know you.

This is Cross, and the phone's ringing here at 5.30 in the morning.

I don't understand what the big funny idea is over here, you people.

The phone is not a toy, you understand?

Well, I don't even believe now you are, but you keep waking me up.

I'm upset at the moment.

You're upset?

So don't give me all the gobbledygook phoning up in the morning.

You're phoning me, not the other way around.

Nah, I heard a phone ring in, and I got you on the phone talking rude and nasty to me now, sir,

and I don't appreciate that.

I'm a Christian fucking man.

I don't give a shit who you are.

You're phoning me up from 5 o'clock in the morning

and waking me up from SOTO.

From SOTO.

It's going to give you a toss-in.

It's going to toss my salad.

I think you hit on a good way to open up a...

I guess so.

That gets right to the heart of the matter.

That's a nice breaker right there.

Yeah, that's true.

Milkman, you got a good point.

Duck and I are on board.

All right, last call of the night

because this is the last number

and I'm down to 10 cents now.

Yeah, hi, listen, is this Nicola Tanner?

Is that John?

Yeah, how you doing, buddy?

How are you, John?

Hey, I'm good, I'm sorry, I think I'm waking you up early here, aren't I?

Yes, we're both awake anyway, so...

Oh, you're already awake, why do you wake up so early?

Sorry, I can't hear you.

Why did you wake up so early, dammit?

My hearing's bad, I'll pass you over, John.

Hey, listen, why do you have a girl's name?

I was wondering all this time.

Hello?

Yeah, why does Nicola have a girl's name?

This is Cross, and Nicola has a girl's name.

I want to understand why his mother hated him,

that she gave him a name for a girl instead of a boy.

Who are you?

I'm Cross.

I'm a nasty American man.

I'm Cross, too.

Good night.

Bye, Cross.

Whoa, bam.

Whoa, she got me.

She got me.

Yeah.

Stop using that cross name now.

These girls are great with the wit, man.

They're there for the wit, man.

They can outweigh you.

I'm cross, too.

All right, cool.

All right, Milkman, let's wrap it up.

Wrap it up, Milkman.

Take us out of here, please.

What a way to end up a good show.

Wonderful job, Hermanito

I'd like to thank everybody for stopping by

And joining us right here in the Madhouse

That's right, every week we provide for you

The most interactive, crazy, wild

Spillings of entertainment

Right here in the Madhouse

On 8.6 the map

I'd like to thank especially our guests

And masters and friends of the Madhouse

Number one, Mr. Lonesome Luzar

The numbers hit man, thank you so much

May God bless the soul of the numbers hit man

Long shall he live

Also, our brother in arms, Duck

And our friend, Mr. Nunu

Mr. Nunu, the Wankershire, England, County Jester

And some of our other friends at South by

Lifelike out of Australia, Maven

The Hot Girl out of the East

Woo!

Monkey 129, MSC 3, Clayton

So you're kidding, right?

That was Iowa

Billy Harrington

Costing 3,000

Justin

Kristen, Karana, Konda, and Katie Gay also showed up tonight.

We'd like to thank all of you and all of our friends.

And stop by.

Katie Gay?

For sending us the number.

That's right.

Sending us the number for the Request a Prank.

That's right.

You, too, can join the show.

And also stop by and join our mad-ass chat here.

Or send a call in to Request a Prank.

Be looking on the website.

Don't forget our wonderful podcast with the assistance of our great friends and brother-in-arms,

Yes, sir. Thank you so much.

But we'd like to thank you, sir.

That's right.

Our lovely listeners and friends of the Madhouse.

All we ask is that you give us some time.

We drop the dime.

Every week, we just say, hey, bring a friend.

Better yet, bring an enemy.

And let them hear the crazy and saddies of the general league, you know, of the Madhouse.

That's right.

I'm barely a leader every week.

Right here.

Same bat game, same bat channel.

Garneco and Manito.

Thank you, my brother, over to you, sir.

Thank you, Big Milkman.

I want to thank everyone who tuned in tonight.

Of course, personally, talk to your website, suckermike.com.

Everyone go over there and check out that stuff.

Big tug.

Lonesome, personally, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for sending in numbers.

Nunu, for your ideas, which actually kind of worked out.

The whole chicken disgusting thing in the toilet.

I don't know whether I did what I could with it and it worked out.

I guess you're the evil genius.

Kokanee's working on prank call editing and podcast editing.

I wanted to mention, everyone, look out for an update for him on the August 3rd show.

I'll be finishing up the first show of the month of September, probably this weekend, and updating that.

Excited about that.

Everyone else in numbers, Brandon, is that in numbers?

And fucking Bass in numbers, the side pan that I couldn't get to work for some reason,

but i did call your other ones i believe or i tried to at least sorry it doesn't work out sir

you know i'm a fuck up anyway so uh yeah we'll be back here uh next week next thursday 10 p.m

till 1 a.m kisses madhouseapp.com thank you everybody

Calls (30, 1 h 16 min of 2 h 23 min)

Transcript

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