Fake Rubber Boob

It's not.

Who the fuck is this?

You are listening to the Madhouse Radio Podcast.

What the fuck is this?

Good evening, everybody.

Hello.

It is I, Carlito.

Master of ceremonies for the night.

What's up with your fallout, Tuck?

Fell out.

Your fallout.

You fell out.

Fell off.

We're connecting Milkman on the line here.

He'll be here shortly.

It is Madhouse Radio.

Last live show of the year.

First show that we've done here in three weeks.

Hope you all had a great Christmas vacation.

vacation holiday season hello hello milkman merry christmas happy new year

been good thanks for asking bro how you been

merry christmas

got a few here and there one or two good enough

okay i got a bag of coke with mine yeah yeah i'm sorry

Alright, no one loves you, man?

What happened? No gifts? No nothing?

I was being ornery, man.

I got a pile of switches and a bag of coal.

Alright, man. Well, look, you know, you gotta be happy

for what you get. That's right, buddy.

I'm thankful for that, and I'm looking forward

to a wonderful new year,

Hermano, and maybe, you know, you can enlighten

the people of the show going on and all the

wonderful things that we've got up

and coming in this new year, 2011.

Yeah, man. Yeah, we got almost

almost, what we got, what, 25?

Less than 25 hours left in the year.

Maybe we can recap 2010.

What a shit year it's been.

Hey, real quick, before I don't get a chance to say it again there,

welcome back, Sweet Kisses.

You've showed up for the first time for a long time in our chat room.

So I see, so I see.

Hey, Milkman, did a number come up on your caller ID when I called you now?

An actual phone number?

Did it come up?

No, it's anonymous.

Really? Still?

Shit.

Well, it should be coming up with a phone number already.

That sucks.

I don't know.

Well, I guess there's a lot of people off tonight because it is New Year's Eve tomorrow,

so a lot of people are probably tuning in.

We had a great time here.

What, two weeks ago, Brad Carter, RBCP, did a pretty funny show, a fake madhouse.

That was pretty cool.

I had a great time with that.

Crazy.

Actually, it was a really good show.

I listened to it quite a few times, actually.

Those guys were knuckleheads, man.

They had me laughing, man.

I don't know who his helpers were, but they were making me laugh.

Yeah, man. The guy that played Milkman was just...

Oh, God, dude. He sounded like Andy more than he sounded like Milkman.

This guy was just going off the hook, man. He was going wild.

Yeah, Laugh Track Matt was pretty funny.

And then Tombstone was playing a part of Tuck. That was pretty funny.

Oh, yeah.

He kept plugging. He kept going, like, Tuckermike.com. Thank you, everybody.

Rebel Lou Tuck, yeah.

He kept plugging his show.

Yeah, that was funny.

That's on, I think

RBCP posted that for the phone show

podcast, or it's up on the phone show site

or the phone loser site

I'm pretty sure, go check that out

phonelosers.org

Yeah, it was nice too, because they kept plugging the phone show

on the manhouse and talking about how great it was

I thought that was very funny

Yeah, it was

Athena and me were listening to it, it was pretty funny

Athena started laughing, because at some point

I think RBCP mentioned his

wife or his girlfriend, whatever it is

was out at that uh some rap concert or something it was like yeah so-and-so was out at you know

the rap concert and like lucy's out of the rap concert and then uh the fake tuck's like

wait a minute he's gonna be like who the fuck is lucy like he's gonna be pissed off but you

find out you're talking about a girl that was pretty funny i mean i had a great time listening

to that and then uh last week tuck did a show that was definitely true tuck did a show last

Last week, it went pretty well also.

He got yelled at by the UK people.

That was pretty cool.

Brendan wants us to call Debbie again.

I heard part of that.

That was pretty good.

Yeah.

Brendan wants us to call Debbie Mansfield again.

We had a lot of fun with that on our last show.

I think I have that.

We should play that, dude, because I don't think anybody's really heard.

Well, yeah.

It's on the podcast already.

Oh, awesome.

Well, we've got that ready to play.

We might play that in a little bit.

All right.

What else has been going on?

I don't know.

Christmas time.

You've got Cole.

I've got a few gifts.

I've got some family visiting me here right now.

Paul, did you hear about Aretha Franklin, dude?

She's in the hospital with possibly pancreatic cancer, man.

Diabetes?

Or is it pancreatic cancer?

Isn't that the same thing?

Yeah.

Yeah?

Man.

Yeah, something to do with the pancreas, dude.

You know, Aretha Franklin, man, the incredible, incredible Aretha.

Yeah, she is incredible.

Incredible voice on that.

Nice big pipes.

She's like one of my all-time favorites, man.

man. You can't hardly beat her, man.

Oh, dude. Well, that's something.

Well, hopefully she pulls through, you know?

We'll have a... Yeah, well, she's up there

though in age, man, so let's hope.

She is getting old. Well, we got

Lonesome Loser in the house. What's up, man? Good to see

you, bro. He's sending in

numbers for the UK. Yeah.

Nunu's making a suggestion

here that we call the UK Confused about

Happy New Year, that it was tonight.

I had that idea during the day

today. I thought it'd be funny to

call in and call the UK and be like,

like happy new year and they'd be like well you know it's not yours yet i act all confused like

it is you know something like that something in that something of that nature that could be a

thing to do so we got number for milton's well don't they call it yuletide or something some

shit over there in the uk is it yule or yuletide or they'll call christmas do they yuletide yeah

well christmas but new year's is different yuletide is that what they call it i thought

it was christmas over there no they call it yuletide i don't know i thought it was yuletide

Is there anybody out there in our chat room that can enlighten us what the actual name of the holiday is?

Is it Christmas or Yuletide?

Why is it called Yuletide?

I've always heard it was Yuletide over there.

I don't know.

I always said that was just another thing you could call Christmas, like the holidays, Yuletide.

Oh, good.

We'll figure it out.

We've got the information coming in.

A Yule log in the toilet.

Okay.

That doesn't help us out much, but okay.

There you go.

No, that's a good premise.

You'll log in the toilet.

That's a start.

All right, cool.

You can be the plumber.

Boxing Day.

They had Boxing Day over there.

That's cool.

There's something we could talk about.

Big Blizzard, huh?

It snowed and everything, and today came out.

New York City, the transportation or the sanitation department admitted that on purpose,

they held back and purposely didn't do as good of a job of cleaning up the snow and plowing the streets

because they're going through some labor union problems.

They're holding out.

So they decided on purpose not to do as good of a job, and they purposefully acted slow in cleaning up after that blizzard that came through and then marred and ruined New York traffic and stuff.

That's bullshit.

I know Andy works for the union.

We've got a few union players here that listen to this show, but what's up with that, union people?

Why would you hurt people on purpose just because, what, you are upset?

set that well i think what happened was uh they laid off some people some union workers uh but

because new york city is in a budget crisis what do you want you got it you got to cut corners

from everyone we're all you know living like that we're all tightening our belts a little bit we're

all doing without i think every single city and state and uh everywhere in the country we're all

having to tighten our belts the way things are now and i don't think the union uh members over

there in new york have any right to take that out in the local population they have a job to do

and they should do their job.

Maybe they should outsource

their job to India.

Have Indians come in and do it.

Maybe that's what it is.

One little, two little, three little.

And he says we do what we want.

Keep that attitude.

Keep that attitude, union people.

And when they make you illegal,

when they outlaw unions finally,

the way Hitler wanted to originally,

Hitler and his...

Yeah, the Republicans.

That's what they want to do.

Yeah, yeah.

Speaking of Republicans,

crazy fucker.

He's part of that party.

He's involved with that.

He's involved in the anti-union movement.

You're saying it crazy, fucker.

That's right.

The whole anti-union movement.

Yeah.

What are you guys going to do then, huh?

What are you going to do?

Then what?

Yeah.

What's the union about anyway?

What, you pay money and you become, I don't get it, what?

Isn't the union thing like even if there's no work, you still get paid?

That sounds like a pretty good deal, right?

Isn't that how it works?

If you're in the union, there's no work, they still got to pay you, and they got to

always go to you first.

I don't understand.

Well, they got the whole pronunciation thing wrong.

You know, it's actually onion.

U-N-I-O-N

That's pretty bad, man.

Sorry.

Wah, wah, wah.

Even I had to realize that's pretty bad.

Okay, let's call the UK.

Let's just get rid of the pranks here.

Let's shake the cobwebs out, why don't we?

They changed Skype. Skype got updated

and it's all...

I got that off of RBCP's show last week.

Actually, that was one of their

little jokes, so I had to replay it.

I mean, you know, U-N-I-O-N.

Wah, wah, wah.

There was a Skype outage last week too

Did that affect Tuck's show at all?

I think Tuck did have some dialing problems

With Skype and it might have been due to the Skype outage

Lasted a few days

It had some server problems

Came out today, they blamed it on a Windows app problem

Apparently

At least they were trying to blame it on a Windows issue

On one of their servers

But Skype was hosed up last week

For a few days

Skype piss as you like to call it

Anyway, they updated Skype and it's all different now

It's all dark looking and flashy.

Hopefully it isn't shitty now.

Alright, let's see if it works.

Add to call. I don't want to find this person.

Oh, crap. I'm confused.

Alright, let me try to play this prank while I figure out the new Skype where the buttons go.

This prank is called Kiss My Pussy.

You can hear this in the podcast version in there.

The whole podcast episode is updated already over at madhouselive.com.

In the meantime, I'm going to be releasing just a prank call here this weekend.

And this is it.

It's called Kiss My Pussy.

This is our good friend Debra Mansfield from three weeks ago.

We had a great time with her.

She yelled at me and said nasty things.

And I used the N-word.

This is the official submission from Sweet Kisses, actually, from way back in the day.

Hello?

Yeah, Debra?

Yeah.

What's up with them niggas?

What niggas?

That stupid nigga over there.

Who's a nigga?

He stole my bananas.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, there's some black guy.

I'm not even going to say the N-word, but there's some black people over there,

and they stole my bananas.

Fuck, shit, horse.

Horse.

Well, you know why he stole your banana?

Horse.

He heard you was sucking his monkey's dick, you poor-ass piece of white, trash-ass filth.

Don't you call my house no more.

I haven't found out who you are.

I'm going to blow your ass away from you.

You go suck your mama's cock, you nasty fucking ass.

Freaking all you white men ain't nothing but asshole fuckers and lickers and shit.

Don't call my house no more, because I hate you.

You peckle-wood-ass motherfuckers me, and you kiss my pussy.

All right.

Sounds like a plan.

All right.

Cool.

Wow.

I'll go for a call, kid.

Holy shit.

Well, Debra's back.

That's for sure.

All right.

That's that.

That's kiss my pussy.

I'm having trouble here, Milkman.

I don't know how to.

Seriously, it is not working.

How do I just add a caller, like add a call to the conference?

If I do it, in the past, I just pasted the number here and add a call, and it doesn't

come up now.

What the fuck?

No, it's not working like it used to.

Holy shit.

There they go with the clown and the two thugs.

This would suck.

This guy's taking a sip.

What is it?

I don't know.

Hang on, folks.

This is this song while I try to figure this out.

All right.

All right, what?

Okay, I'm back.

All right, welcome back.

Hang on, Milkman.

I'm trying to fix the phone.

All right.

Are you there?

Hello.

Good evening.

How are you?

Good to talk to you.

How you been?

Hello.

Who is it?

Yes, I'm calling to wish you a happy new year.

Who are you calling from?

I'm calling from Los Angeles.

This is Cross.

From where?

Uh-huh.

Los Angeles.

You've got a wrong number, love.

No, no, no.

It's January 1st, and I'm calling to wish you a happy new year.

It's happy new year time, right?

Happy new year to you, too.

What are you playing?

Do you know what time it is?

It's New Year's Eve.

It's New Year's Day, actually, right now.

It's, uh, I don't know, what?

It's New Year's Eve.

No, it's New Year's Day right now.

And it's 3 o'clock in the morning.

It's New Year's Day, not New Year's Eve.

You're behind.

There's 30 days in December.

I don't know who you are, love, but you're very annoying being wakened up in the morning at 3 o'clock.

And I'm 90 years old, so I'm going to put the phone down.

Don't.

And please don't ring again.

Can I ask you one more thing?

And I promise I won't bother you again.

Right.

How many fathers do you have?

How many what?

How many fathers?

I don't understand your question.

You have multiple fathers?

You?

No.

You know?

Your mother was with several men, so there's a question.

No, no, no.

Are you sure about that?

I'm positive.

Okay, so you only have one dad then.

All right.

Do you have a husband right now, or are you single?

Look, I don't want to carry on with this conversation, so I'm going to put the phone down.

Okay.

Please don't ring again.

I'm going to try.

I might call you back on accident.

I don't want calling back at all.

What if it's an accident?

Will you understand?

All the best to you.

Oh, you too.

Thank you.

Have a happy 2012.

Happy New Year.

All right.

Okay.

All right, buddy.

Bye.

Love you.

Bye, baby.

All right, cool.

That's a good start to the show.

Oh, she's awful sweet.

Yeah, she is.

The call circle's already on.

I was wondering if she got laid.

I know.

I'm sorry.

Did I call you back?

I didn't mean to call you.

I'd say it might have been an accident.

I wasn't sure.

I warned you ahead of time, lady, that it might call you an accident.

I can't control the phone.

It's a machine that calls people.

You know?

All right.

It might do it one more time

Sometimes it calls back a third time

If it does, I apologize in advance

Then you just have to hang up again

You understand, right?

Right

Well, you hang up first

She must have got laid because she was in a good mood

Oh, hello, sir

Why isn't he telling me not to mess with white nice people?

What, he's got a conscience all of a sudden?

Isn't he the one that wants to wake people up?

I don't know that guy

I've never had a conscience as long as I can remember

He's been a mean and vicious old

old 87-year-old

putrefied old pensioner.

What's he talking about?

Don't miss the nice people.

She's nice.

Whatever, man.

What, you're losing your,

losing the juice, dude.

We're about to call

one of his relatives

or something.

He's trying to

steer us away.

I guess.

All right, we got

someone selling a TV.

Oh, she, okay, I see.

Because he's not

going to get angry.

Or she's not

going to get angry.

That's why he doesn't

want us to call.

I got it.

I hear you, buddy.

All right, next call.

Calling for a TV

coming in from Big Ken.

Ken, Ken who got really upset and pissed off at RBCP when Madhouse Radio got taken over by the phone show kids.

He really did not take that well, man.

He was fucking pissed.

He was like, fuck this.

That is gold star.

Available right now, but please leave me a message.

I'm going to have to call her back in a little bit.

Big Stephanie over there sitting on the TV.

Ken's girlfriend working tonight over there.

Yeah, right.

Big golden name.

Yeah, she might answer again because we've got a different phone number coming up now.

She knows we're her third.

Well, we haven't talked to her in three weeks either.

She might be like, oh, they stopped.

Yeah.

Because for a while she's like, oh, this is my Thursday night prank call.

How's the video running?

It doesn't look too choppy today.

That looks good, dude.

Thanks, man.

I'm working on my tan.

I am not available right now, but please leave me.

Shit!

She sounds kind of cute.

I like Popeye here for a second.

She sounds like she has a...

She looks like she has a cute little pussy on her.

Nice cute pussy.

What do I like?

Yeah, she's probably just got nipples like size A, you know?

Ew, man.

What's wrong with you?

Fried eggs?

Speaking of size A, where's our girl Maven's at?

Speaking of fried eggs.

Erase your nipples.

That's what I like.

Zolar is checking in on AIM.

Hey, Zolar.

Big Zolarski.

Zolar!

Hell yeah!

I got to change the...

I meant to change it this morning.

I forgot. The poll is way

old right now. The Madhouse poll. I'm going to change

that. I got an idea for it.

It came to me while I was taking a shit in the toilet.

I'm going to be changing that up a little later tonight.

I'm going to be

taking care of that. Nunez mentioning a show. He talked

about this to me last night. Little Britain.

Never heard of it. Although on

the American TV show Arrested Development,

they had a fake area in

the little city called Little Britain. It was like

a little Cuba, a little Haiti.

It was like Little Britain.

No, man. Breast Development.

development arrested development yeah great show yeah development exactly whatever that's like

three tit references in a row for you oh that reminds me i got a christmas gift over here

that's a tit let me show you my tit hang on no man talk about tits for like 10 30 seconds i'm

right back gotta get my tit all right tits nina show us your tits okay he's got man titties so

ken shows some titties all right yeah i got sweet kisses she's played poker this week so she's out

Oh, Jen does it again.

Wow.

Nice titties.

Man titties.

Ooh.

Quiet, Milkman.

You're freaking me out now.

Here's my tit.

I got this tit here at the dollar store.

It's a nice squeezable tit.

Look at that.

It's got like a big cyst on it when you squeeze it like that.

It is awesome, man.

I suck on it.

Oh, there you are.

I want one.

Yeah, man.

Look at that.

Isn't that cool?

Give me one for my Christmas present.

Yeah.

I got two.

I gave one to my dad for Christmas as a gag gift, and I got my other one here that I

keep on the desk.

Oh, hell.

I need one of those.

Yeah.

I was thinking about taking it to work.

I put it on my earphones here.

I put it at work.

I'm going to get that out.

I put little speakers in them.

Yeah, dude.

This thing is awesome, though.

I can't wait to bite into it and make it explode in my mouth.

Look at that, though.

That's a big tit.

Oh, yeah.

Jellyfield or milkfield, huh?

Oh, it's fun.

All I do is play with that tit.

Wow.

Yeah, buddy.

I want one.

I'm sure you do.

All right.

Thanks, Noonan.

Anyway, moving right along, let's get to you with the prank calls.

We've got some more numbers here.

Brendan sending in the number for Big Booty

Brenda. Mentioning she might be working

tonight. Might be nice to catch up with her before the new

year. See how she's doing.

Got a hotel here in the UK.

Let's give them a call. See what's up with them.

I got a little bit of a headache tonight. Feeling kind of loopy.

Malcolm Seltzer for a headache?

What are you talking about? Malcolm Seltzer's for the gas.

Hello, I'm just listening.

Yeah, listen. Listen, man.

I got the gas. Excuse me?

I got the gas.

Excuse me, Sagan, please.

I got the gases. You understand?

The room?

Yeah.

You mean a room?

Yes, we have.

Yeah, I got a room, and I want to use the bathroom in it.

We have a free bed if you want.

A free bed?

Yes, we have if you want, a free room.

Yeah, because I'm in need.

I don't have much money, and I just want to use the toilet.

But I'll take the bed for free, yeah, if you give me the bed, and I can use the bathroom then at the same time.

It's free.

That'd be nice.

Thanks, man.

I'm poor.

Just come to here, okay?

Oh, you let me use the bathroom?

Sorry?

You're going to let me use the bathroom, the toilet, and the room for free?

No, you can't use the bathroom.

No, you said you have a free bed.

You have to pay.

No, you said free.

No, I mean we have a free room.

Okay, I'll take the room for free.

That's okay.

It's free.

Yeah.

All right.

You made the offer.

All right.

I got you.

I got you down.

One free room.

Okay.

All right.

What's the confirmation number?

You fucking hang up.

Turkey.

Hello.

Sir.

Sir, call back.

I'm looking at you right here in the U-screen.

We are in our chat interface.

This is Happy Thanksgiving.

Hello, Shane.

How can I help you?

Hey, big guy.

How are you doing?

Doing very well, sir.

Listen, I was just talking to that gentleman there.

He said you had a free room.

Free room?

That's what he just said.

He had a free room.

I want to use the toilet.

I'm afraid, yeah, we think we have given it away.

away so they're not available at the moment so you can keep uh yeah give it a try tomorrow so

hopefully they would be free what do you mean the guy said you had a free room and now you don't

have a free room why is this no we don't have what do you have a toilet sorry sir could you

please speak a bit slower you you have a toilet toilet yes uh yes we do all right so i would like

to use your toilet.

Yeah, where are you?

Come on in.

No, I'm going to come in,

but I just want free use of the toilet

and take a shower, you know,

take a bath.

Okay, yeah, you can, you can, yeah.

Come on in.

We'll open the doors for you.

Right, sir.

Give us a knock when you're here.

Don't be nasty with me.

I'm being serious.

I need to use the toilet

and take a shower.

Yeah, yeah, come on in.

Okay.

I will give me a confirmation

of some sort.

I want proof that I'm going to

to be able to i want your word uh you you've got a confirmation of my word which is more than enough

yeah i'd be here until uh seven o'clock what's what's your race are you british or something

else uh no i'm not oh then your word is probably shit where are you from um a country which is

better than where you come from sir no i'm from america the best country in the world are you

from uh yeah are you from an eastern country like east asia or you're from a country full of liars

I come from one of the fastest

Developing

Country in the world

Which is quite

Doing better than America

Probably not

You think you can kick our ass

Probably not

I have something to attend

Stupid asshole

Is it India

Because it's fastest developing

You remember Milkman

In school when they had the most

Improved award

award it always went to the retard the most improved award always goes to the stupidest

person who didn't suck like the most improved big shit most improved award you might as well

just realize you're a stupid asshole people just like you you're the best of the assholes

the best of the retards yeah he's just hanging out this shithead all right i'll look there

fastest developing please big deal hope you're all having a good night be honest with you i'm

feeling too good right now but i'm here i'm sticking through and doing a show yeah good

Good evening.

How are you, ma'am?

Who is it?

It's Cross.

That's it.

Seriously, that's it?

That's all I get?

It's Cross?

Who is it?

It's Cross.

Hang up.

Really?

Milkman, are you there still?

Of course I'm here.

Yes, what happened?

Why'd you hang up?

Who is it?

I said it's Cross and you hung up.

What's the matter with you?

What are you looking for?

I'm from Chicago, Illinois.

Why'd you hang up the phone out of the blue like that without, you know, discussing things

with me first?

Don't do it again.

Listen, you do it again, it's going to be double trouble on you, okay?

Don't you...

God damn it, don't hang up.

Listen.

Hello.

Please talk.

Please, I'm lonely.

Oh, what are you doing? He's breathing.

Milkman, is that you breathing or is it him?

I think it was him, dude. I think he was thinking of his boyfriend.

Oh, he's on the phone still. He's breathing

funny. Sir, are you okay? Are you under distress?

Are you choking? Are you masturbating?

He's masturbating. Either that or he's having a bowel movement.

Sir, are you in the middle of a bowel movement?

or are you having sex?

Sexual relations.

The Yule log

is stuck in his toilet.

He's just creeping me out.

The clay was telling me.

He's just breathing.

Wow.

I don't know

if anybody remembers

but a few

over a year ago

we talked about

this rapist

that was around

our side of town

here in Orlando.

They finally caught him

yesterday.

Now it's safe

to go outside again

with the exception

of all the crazy

Puerto Ricans

out there.

Damn!

They caught Andy?

Yeah, they caught Andy

finally.

Oh my God, Andy!

Look, man,

why do you hate Andy

so much, really?

What's the hate about?

Oh, I don't hate him.

I know, I'm just kidding.

I've always got this thing with him.

Why are we so jealous?

Oh, he's okay.

He's the superior radio host.

He's being put in jail now.

Hello, good morning.

How are you?

I'm all right.

Why are you...

I'm across, and I'm calling from Illinois, Chicago, Illinois, for that fact.

Just want to wish you a happy new year.

Want to make sure that you got your income taxes already in order.

Oh, who are you ringing?

I'm calling from the United States.

I'm calling from the United States Income Tax Corporation.

Right.

Were you ringing in at 11 o'clock?

Yeah, I know.

You had to pay your taxes after the new year,

and I just wanted to make sure that we could offer our services to you, sir.

Will you be filing your American taxes this year on time,

or were you needing an extension until October?

Hello?

Hello, sir.

I don't know about this.

I'm Milkman.

This is not going good.

We've got another request to prank we can do here.

You're still too awake in the UK right now.

Why?

It's too early.

I guess.

I'm not in a coma yet.

Hello?

Yes, hi.

Happy New Year.

This is Cross.

I'm calling from the United States Tax Income Corporation.

This is the third time you've run through the night.

What the hell are you doing?

I want you to pay your damn taxes.

It's January 1st, and it's time for you to pay your taxes.

And we need to have down if you're needing an extension or not.

Hello?

I guess you're going to call a fourth time.

Look, man, are you in the shower or something?

What's going on, man?

Yeah.

Oh, really?

Awesome.

I'm naked.

Okay.

And now I'm done with the show.

Hello?

Donkey!

And they're just hanging up.

Beautiful.

Oh, these people.

They think they're loyal to the gang now?

We're the United States, man.

We run the freaking world.

They're Tories, man.

Continuing on.

Yeah.

More pranks.

More people.

Send in your requests if you'd like.

If you're using AOL or Yahoo and send messengers, send me a message at Madhouse Radio.

And if you're using MSN Messenger, Madhouse at live.com.

Or head over to MadhouseLive.com and click on the request a prank form to write over to us directly.

Either way, get it done.

Help us out.

Hey, buddy, how you doing?

Hello.

Yeah, hi, Happy New Year.

How are you?

Yeah, that's great.

I don't understand what the hell you're saying.

I'm calling from the United States Tax Corporation.

Yeah, and I need to get you down for a confirmation

on when exactly you're going to be paying your taxes this coming year.

They're due after New Year's Eve.

You have three months.

No, four o'clock in the morning, no.

Oh, yes, I am, sir.

You're in the call circle.

It'll keep calling you until you put down a commit.

No, it's a computerized system,

and don't threaten me

because I'll put you down

for double calls.

I'll make you pay more taxes.

You understand?

Don't get snippy with me.

Bye.

He asked for it.

Don't call him back.

No.

We'll try to call the first lady

who was nice.

We're going to try to call her back.

Windsors have a first great grandkid.

The Windsors do?

We don't have any Windsors here, though.

There was a baby born

in the British family already.

Really?

That's cool.

Awesome.

Cool.

We got a guy named Tuff.

Let's call that.

Oh, that gives me an idea.

We can call some other numbers here.

Let's go to our contacts real quick.

Let's see.

Law here checking in.

Don't want to give him a call.

Let's call the Jew Drop in.

See what they're up to.

Hello, Jew Drop.

Can I help you?

Charlie, please.

Hello.

Charlie.

Hello.

Charlie.

Call Charlie.

Charlie, yes.

Hello, who is calling?

Uh-huh.

Charlie, this is Tuck.

They will never let me talk to Charlie again because I think he gets just so fucking angry.

Last time we called over, they were just putting us through the music.

Remember that?

They were just, like, putting us on top of the speaker.

Is this the guy that's ordering Pepsi?

Yeah.

The Pepsi order guy.

That guy's really mad.

He says, fuck you.

That guy.

I don't think we're ever going to get a chance to talk to him again.

We're going to have to leave him alone for, like, months,

and then maybe they'll put me through to Charlie again.

I think his wife, I think that's his wife.

She's like, you know, you can't talk to Charlie anymore.

He just gets so fucking angry.

All right, we're calling Hoppy's Food Mart.

You're not allowed.

Not allowed.

Hello, how you doing, Charlie?

Hello?

Yeah, hey, what's up?

Hello?

Food Mart.

Huh?

This is the Food Mart.

Yeah.

Okay, good.

How are the sales doing over there tonight?

Huh?

How's the sales doing over there tonight?

What?

Sales.

Sales. You know, sales. Doing okay?

What?

The sales. How are they doing tonight?

Sales?

Yeah, the sale. How's it going?

So who are you looking for?

I'm looking for prices.

Huh?

You have cigarettes there.

Cigarettes?

Yeah, do you have cigarettes?

Yeah.

How much is a carton of Marlboro Menthol Ultralights?

Six dollars.

Six dollars for a carton?

No, for one pack.

Six dollars even?

Yeah.

All right, so I'm going to start selling them for $5.50.

Just to be cheaper.

I'm going to take away your customers.

No, here it's $6.

Oh, I'm going to sell them cheaper, you understand?

So people don't go there, they come to me instead.

Oh, you call in the morning, talk to the boss.

No, I want you to give me the prices so I know how much they are

and I'm going to steal your customers away.

How much is the milk over there, a gallon of milk?

A gallon of milk? $3.99.

I'm going to sell it for $3.49.

You see what I'm getting at?

But you tell me for what? I don't care that.

I have better prices than you.

I got lower prices than you do.

You call in the morning, talk to the boss, okay?

What's the boss's name?

The boss, Habib.

Habib?

Yeah.

What was your name?

Huh?

What was your name?

My name?

Yeah.

My name, Ivan.

Hey, you want to come work for me?

Huh?

How much you get paid?

Yeah, you.

How much you get paid?

I pay hour only.

But how much?

Like $10 an hour or more?

$11.50.

I give you $13.50 an hour.

You come work for me.

So who are you?

I'm Cross.

I'm calling from Woodman's Food Mart.

So what Woodman?

Woodman.

Huh?

Woodman.

I don't understand.

Sorry.

Woodman Food Mart, you know?

Woodman?

Where?

I'm at 822 Mary Avenue.

We just opened up.

And I'm just, when I'm doing it, I want to get, you know, I want to take you.

How long have you been working there for a long time?

Huh?

How long have you been working over there?

Well, yeah, maybe three years.

You have good experience?

You're good with the register and the people?

Yeah.

Well, you come work for me, I'll pay you more.

Yeah.

Hey, how much for sex over there with you?

Huh?

How much do you give sex out there for?

How much for?

How much what?

For sex.

I don't know.

You don't know?

Five dollars.

How about that?

Five dollars for what?

For sex.

You know, with condom.

Oh, I don't know.

No?

You're not interested?

You ever think about selling your body a little bit?

I don't know.

I don't know you.

You need to come here.

I don't know you, okay?

I'm horny.

Can you come here and show your body?

Okay.

Show your face.

I have three eggs today.

No, no.

I need your...

You come here.

I need to see your face.

You want to look at my body?

Yeah.

See your face.

In the bathroom?

In the bathroom you want?

Me and you?

You come here.

I see your face first.

I don't want to talk with you.

I don't know you right now.

All right.

So we go.

Listen.

We go and we close the store and we turn off the lights.

You know?

Me and you?

No, I'm busy right now.

I don't talk with you

You talk with me

You come here

Okay

Yeah but when I come in

Then you know

I'm thinking

I give you a few dollars

And you know we do it

Do things like that

Okay I need to see you first

Okay but you're interested right

You're thinking about it

Maybe yes

Yeah yeah yeah

But you need to come here

Talk with me

I see your face

See you first

Okay

Don't talk with the phone

Do you kiss the first time

That you meet someone

Right now I'm busy

Okay

With what

What are you doing

Hang up okay

me or you hang up hey who's gonna hang up me or you whatever he wants to see my body he says oh

that's nice that's cool you know what i really would like to do now absolutely now that we got

a now that we got a phone number here we got to get somebody we trust and we got to start making

a craigslist ad i got to give him your 54 inches of lust there armonica 54 inches of gut lust 54

inches of lust right here yeah what prank is that dominatrix you got any restaurants on the list

Man, I have not heard Jack Matheson in a while, man.

I miss old Jack.

I'm starting to wonder if he's okay.

I'm sure we could.

We can get it.

Let's play that prank you're talking about, Milkman.

That's a good suggestion here.

I'm going to go get some water.

Bring it back.

Press 2 for a skilled dominatrix.

Press 3 for a beautiful T.S. with a special supply.

Skill dominatrix.

I got to call the dominatrix, then we're going to call the transvestite.

Hang on.

Hello?

Hey, how are you doing?

Good, how are you?

Good, who's this?

Uh, can you speak up for this really hard?

I'm sorry, woman.

Good, who's this?

It's Ashley.

Ashley, what's going on?

I'm not wearing anything.

What the fuck are you wearing?

I'm sorry?

What the fuck are you wearing?

I'm not wearing much of anything, really.

Where are you?

Are you in a cubicle or are you inside your house?

I'm inside a cubicle.

You're in a cubicle?

Fuck, can you get naked in your cubicle?

How are we going to do this shit, man?

Sure.

Are you a dominatrix for real?

I can be.

Are you going to try to push me around?

You think you're going to get away with it?

Is that what you want?

I want you to get on your fucking knees right now.

That's not really being a dominatrix.

So what? That's how you do it. I'm in charge. You're the dominatrix. Get on your fucking knees, I said.

That's not how a dominatrix...

Yes, it is. I have it right here in the book. Get on your fucking knees, you cunt.

I can talk however I want. You're my dominatrix, bitch. Get the fuck on your knees.

I'm the dominatrix you want. Look it up in the book.

Ma'am, I'm paying for this.

What kind of book do you have?

I pay your taxes, you know that?

What kind of book do you have?

It says right here, the Kama Sutra.

You pay my taxes?

Yes, I do. I pay your salary and your taxes.

You pay my taxes.

Fuck you, bitch. You fucking dominatrix. Get on your knees and suck it.

You're hilarious, mother.

Oh, I'm hilarious, huh? Do I make you laugh with my pathetically small penis?

Oh, God. Is that what your problem is?

Yeah, shut up. Go outside. Go outside. Hang up the phone. I command you.

You're not like a little cock?

I command you. Shut the fuck up. I command you to hang up the phone.

You've got to be a cock, don't you?

No, I don't. It's four.

Oh, wow, what a deal.

I have a 46-inch waist size.

That's really something to be proud of.

My waist size is 46 inches, too, baby.

You want it?

No.

You want my 46 inches of gut?

I don't think so.

I got 46 inches of lust right here, baby.

Listen, listen.

You know what?

You must really be able to see that little orange cockwell with your big-ass...

I have a floor-length mirror, okay?

You're a fucking dominatrix whore.

I'm done with you.

I'm done.

I got off.

Well, hey, you're quick, huh?

Shut up.

Shut up, Mom.

Be sure to visit us online at madhouselive.com.

Thank you, everybody, for tuning in tonight.

This has been Madhouse Radio for December 30th.

We'll catch you next week.

No, I'm kidding.

That song is stuck in here, way up top on the list,

and every week I forget to take it out and save it.

Shit.

Anyway, excuse me, I'm eating a pickle.

Oh, man.

All right, let's move on.

That was the dominatrix, 54 inches of gut, boss, whatever you want to call it.

That was pretty good, man.

You know, Ternini was actually a dominatrix on his second job.

Yeah?

Not on the Madhouse.

Yeah.

Did you put high heels on and step on your nuts?

That'd be awesome.

I'd be into that.

He's got those stilettos on.

That's what I heard, yeah.

He's like a power bottom.

Right, right, right.

Call the Little Johns here.

Still waiting on a restaurant.

Nothing yet.

Little John.

Okay, Robin.

Not again.

Sheriff of Rottingham.

That's a good movie.

Man in Tights.

Prince John's mole keeps moving.

The whole movie, it's like in a different part of his face.

I'm sorry, we're unable to take a call right now.

Whoops.

Yay, yay, five-eighth hour.

Woo-hoo, woo-hoo.

Whatever.

I hate people who talk like that.

I get them at work calling me from North Carolina.

That must have been Maid Marian there.

I guess so.

Anyway.

They say nine.

Nine.

Stupid.

Hey, you're really far away from the audio.

Is there any way you can do one of those noisemaker calls?

You know, where you put it in your mouth?

Like what you do at the cat call?

Wait a minute, where's the microphone?

Oh, shit, it's all the way down here.

Whoops.

I don't know, you're so far away, you're getting even further.

There you go.

I forgot to put it back.

My bad.

Let me turn that camera back on.

Where's the hat at, man?

Captain?

Actually, it's being washed, as a matter of fact, the honest truth.

Oh, my God.

I can't wear it for a few days because I don't want the bill, you know, from the park.

Hello?

This is Little John.

Yes.

What did he say there, Charlie?

I'm sorry.

You got the wrong Little John, I believe.

This is Talmadge.

Who?

This is Talmadge, Little John.

Oh, no.

This is not Talmadge, Little John's address.

Telephone.

No.

This is not.

This is Chrissy, then?

You sound like a woman.

Hell no, I'm not a woman.

Are you a faggot?

What the fuck am I going to say to him?

man i love this fake tip hello yeah this is chrissy that is awesome i'm sorry there's uh

you've got the wrong number why is there confusion here i don't understand why you people are being

so rude and nasty with me well first off it's uh after 11 o'clock at nine was jackie there we have

Who is speaking, please?

This is Cross.

Cross Littlejohn.

I don't know a Cross Littlejohn.

Is this Larry and Jackie, then?

What are you owning?

I'm trying to confirm these papers, sir.

We don't have any papers.

No, no, I have the papers.

That's why I'm confirming them with you.

You seem to be a little confused.

There are two Larry Littlejohn.

What is the middle initial on that Larry Littlejohn's paper?

Let me see if there's a middle initial here.

No, there's no middle initial here.

Okay.

Is this Jackie, though?

Well, this is Jackie that I'm speaking with,

because the computer says his radio string is Jackie.

But they're two Larry and little John.

What about Jackie?

You're ignoring the fact about the Jackie part.

That's not what I'm talking about.

Oh, well, you're ignoring the Jackie part, though.

Is there a Jackie?

Are there two Jackie and Larry still?

What are the papers about?

Huh?

What are the papers about?

Well, as soon as I confirm that I'm talking to the right people,

I can release that information.

Whatever.

I'll bet.

You're in foreclosure.

You probably are.

You need to come out of the house now.

Do a call like that.

Do a call like that in your mouth.

I wonder if I can stick the whole thing in my mouth

Probably kill myself

Let's do it

You gotta send me one of those

And I'm jealous

Can you please leave a message

After the tone

I think it exploded in my mouth a little bit

It's got a weak point in it

When I squeeze it now

It's starting to come up a little bit

Any second

It's gonna blow up in my mouth

In my face

And it's weird

Like inside

It's like

It's like a milky looking

Fluid in there

I wonder if it's water

Or if it's like

Oh wow

Wow.

That's kind of weird.

You guys can't see it on the camera.

No, they can't.

You got to send it to me.

I need to find out.

I'll let you know, man.

Send me it there.

I got it at the dollar store, Milt, man.

Don't you have a dollar store over there?

I'm going to spend $20 sending it to you.

No, we don't got anything that fucking...

No, we ain't got anything that cool.

Hell, if I did, I'd already have one.

You don't have a dollar store in California?

What's wrong with you?

Not that.

They don't have them there.

They don't have tits there?

All right.

No, hell no, man.

All right.

That's so cool.

I know you love your tits.

I know what to get you for next Christmas, Dan.

A big fake tit.

Wow.

Let's call for Big Booty Brenda.

We got a phone call coming in.

Phone call, everybody.

Let's see the area code here.

Number of mine?

I'm looking for Talmadge.

What?

Yeah, that's a girl's name.

That's Talman's little John.

Yeah, it's a girl's name.

No, it's not.

Yeah, it is.

It has Madge in it, like Marge.

Listen, what are you doing calling me here at 11 o'clock?

Who are you?

This is Cross Littlejohn, and I'm friends with Jackie and Larry Littlejohn.

You could call me the wrong fella.

Well, I was speaking to Larry and Jackie, and they said that I was supposed to call you.

For what?

Because you had a girl's name.

I don't have a girl's name.

Look, you have Madge in your name, and any Madge that I know is a woman.

Well, that's all I can say.

You're calling me and being nasty and rude.

Well, you're crazy and calling me here at 11 o'clock at night.

What do you want?

Who are you?

This is Cross. I'm calling from the National Water Association.

National Water Association. Well, go drink it, here.

Why don't you shut up, you son of a bitch?

Well, thank you, you...

Woman.

Same to you, fellow.

Yes, ma'am.

Don't you call here again, because I've got your name now.

I've got your number.

Well, I'm tracing...

I'm going to report to the Public Service Commission tomorrow.

I'm tracing your number right now.

Well, you... I've got your number.

Look, I got your...

I've got yours.

It's coming through right now. I'm tracing it.

Uh-oh. There we go.

I got all your information right now.

I'm reporting you to the Water Commission tomorrow.

We're going to shut your water off.

Well, just do that.

All right, woman.

You stupid idiot, you.

It's not.

I lost Milkman when they called in, though.

Shit, I forgot to add him as a conference.

Hang on, let me go back.

Milkman.

Hang on.

Milky.

Milkman.

There you are.

Did you hear that at all?

I forgot to add you.

I just accepted his call instead of adding you.

The guy, the first.

I flipped over the stream and I heard the end of it when I figured out what was going on.

I'm sorry, dude.

The first little John that we called.

and he's upset that I called him.

You're a stupid idiot, Jew.

You're a stupid idiot.

He called you a stupid idiot, Jew, didn't he?

Yeah.

Did he call me a Jew?

Wow, man.

That's very Zolar of him.

I thought he said you stupid idiot, Jew.

Anyway, yeah.

Zolar is checking us out on his new 4G phone.

I wonder what kind of phone he's got.

Has he got an Android?

He shouldn't be able to.

He says he can't chat.

Wow.

I've got Evo 4G.

Yeah, dude.

I've got a 4G phone.

Did I talk?

I already talked about that.

I've got a 4G G2.

Love it.

Dude, I got this thing rooted now, man.

This thing flies, and I got the extended battery for it.

That's awesome.

I'm drinking the fruits of one of my Christmas gifts.

I got an iced tea maker.

I decided to stop drinking diet soda this year, 2011.

So I don't want to get the aspartame or anything like that in me.

So I had a theme I put down on one of my gifts, my list of gifts for this year.

An iced tea maker.

The thing is great.

It's much cheaper than buying Diet Coke.

and it makes the iced tea for me.

It comes out really good.

And I had Stevia.

I had Stevia to it.

What do you use for a sweetener?

Stevia, man.

It's the natural sweetener, Stevia.

Where the hell do you get that at?

Where do you get it at?

I've been buying it at Sam's in bulk,

but all the grocery stores have it.

Coca-Cola makes it called Truvia,

and Pepsi calls it something else.

Look for Truvia, or there's another one.

I forgot.

The guys in the chat room might be able to tell you,

but it's great.

It's a little bitter, but they're coming out with a new formulation of it that isn't as bitter.

But, yeah, it's a natural sweetener.

It's called Sweet Leaf Stevia Extract.

It's from South America.

They've been using it in Japan.

You have to send me a link on that or something later, man.

That shit sounds good.

I switched back to the pink packet, the saccharin, because I was trying to get away from the aspartame.

None of that is good for you, man.

Put something in you that's natural if you're going to do it.

No, I know.

Yeah, Zolar got a MyTouch 4G.

That's awesome.

My cousin, Valerie, she was here last Christmas time.

She's here, and yesterday we went out to the T-Mobile store.

She wanted to get a T-Mobile phone, and I was working with her

because I'm good with the phones and Android and all that.

We got a MyTouch 4G also for her.

She loves it, dude.

Zolar, I hope you enjoy your 4G MyTouch, man.

It's an awesome-looking phone.

It's got a faster processor than the G2.

It's got a 1 GHz processor running Android 2.2 on it.

Tell him to go ahead and get that thing rooted out, man.

Yeah, dude.

Hang on, let me type here.

Nice.

My cousin and I bought one last night of the same.

Good fun.

Okay, folks, let's continue on.

We're having fun here with Madhouse Radio.

We got a call back, and all of a sudden things are starting to look up.

Got a little bit of tea in me, and I'm doing a little better.

Yeah, I don't know what happened to me last week, dude.

Dude, I was coming home.

I went out of town to work last week.

I usually have Thursdays off, but I picked up a shift.

I was working about 90 minutes out of town.

And on the way home, dude, I got a really bad headache.

And then I was feeling kind of dizzy.

And I got a fever.

And I got home.

And I was like, forget it.

I said, I got home around 8.

And I said, I'm going to turn and take a nap, see if I feel better.

I passed out on the couch.

I could barely make it home.

I don't know how I made it home on the highway.

like it was such a horrible i was just like i was like god i just wish i was home wish i was home

right now just you know sleeping i got home and i got up like in enough time just to crawl over

the laptop and you know let you guys know in the chat room i'm not going to be doing a show tonight

but uh tuck did a pretty good show i heard the replay of it i downloaded on my ipod machine and

i listened to it sounded pretty good thank you tuck for pulling through and of course that thanks

to um rbcp pulled through two weeks ago on short notice and i already mentioned that he did that

fake show that was fun, but

that was pretty cool that we can count on

you guys out there. If I can't

make it, if Milkman and I can't make

it for a show, at least we've got some backup.

That's kind of cool, Milkman, right? And that makes

the kids happy. Yeah, awesome, dude.

Thanks a lot. Thanks, RBCP.

Thanks, Todd. Good

pickups, man. They were funny shows.

I caught a little bit of Todd's show, and

I caught a good bit of RBCP's show.

It was fun just to hear somebody else

having fun and just

I have to get set back and lay down and enjoy it.

Yeah, crazy shit is when RBCP, you know, they call the UK for a wake-up call and it's a girl, a little girl who says she's alone and her parents are at home.

Like, oh my God, of all the things you're taught not to ever say on the phone when you're a kid, you never say you're home alone.

Jesus Christ.

Pretty stupid kid.

Not a smart one.

All right, anyway, Lonesome sending in more numbers here.

I'm going to get to them soon.

I'm going to do a real quick call here.

I meant to call Big Booty Brenda, but we got interrupted by Tile Madge, Little John.

So let's try to call this here.

Big Booty Brenda.

Well, we know the number's working now, Milkman, because that guy did a call return.

We know the number's coming out.

Yeah, awesome.

Oh, wait, Kokanee said he wanted to call in.

Hang on.

Let me give him that number.

He can call in.

I can't call him because it'll cost me minutes to call Canada, but he can call in here instead.

done hey what's going on this is brenda can i speak with brenda please hey brenda how you doing

in fact who is this all right this is cross um i just want to say for uh christmas eve uh dinner

uh we made those collard greens that you and i were talking about a few months ago

wow that was quick doesn't it sound like they say not the right woman when they pick up their

isms but every time they do they pick up i'm thinking they say not the right woman

It got me for a loop there for a second.

Like, oh, wait a minute.

It sounds like that's what they're saying, dude.

Whatever.

Milk?

You there?

All right, there we go.

That was quick, man.

Clunk.

I was being honest with her.

It was good shit.

She was faster clunking than the ba-ba on that one.

Whatever, dude.

Okay.

Let's continue.

Let's take it easy, folks.

Nunu goes to the future to get a 8G5.

Whatever.

That'd be kind of cool.

Yo, I got 5G, yo.

It's just bullshit.

No one knows what 4G is anyway.

Anyway, it's a newer technology.

It's called 4G now, so it looks like it's really fucking better.

Dude, 4G, it started up here in the Bay, man.

We got 4G coverage now.

It's awesome, man.

I had seven down and two up yesterday.

Really?

That's pretty good.

Yeah, that's faster than my internet connection.

That's pretty good.

Are you capped?

You got Sprint, right?

Do they cap you on at all?

They cap, T-Mobile's capped for three gigs now.

No, fuck them.

No, I'm on Sprint, dude.

Dude.

I'm a premier clicker now for like eight years.

They love me, man.

premier i'm a premier all kinds of discounts every time i call t-mobile like oh yeah you know

they'll do anything to make me happy like you've been with us for eight years we love you stay

with us please yeah i'll call in all the time to get a discount like i'm gonna leave the sprint you

don't do this i get 25 discount 25 discount on my uh uh like if i buy things you know like

accessories and stuff i've got like 35 discount on my account now i've got uh free services like

like mobile-to-mobile calling and all that stuff.

Instead of having to pay for it, it all came with it.

I got the 6 o'clock free now.

6 o'clock.

I'm calling it for 6 o'clock.

Oh, instead of 7?

Not bad, dude.

They take care of you after you've been there a while.

That's cool.

I figured out one of these days how many thousands of dollars I've paid them.

They all treat me nice.

Yeah, no kidding, right?

Dude, my cell phone bill, I pay for three lines.

I got my two lines and Athena's line.

It's $215 a month.

Jesus Christ.

That's more than my TV and Internet, dude.

Because we got mandatory data on all three phones.

I got two smartphones that I carry, mandatory data, $30 each on each.

Athena's got her Android phone, $30 mandatory data.

You can't have the contract without the data.

It sucks.

But I got to have the biggest and best all the time, you know me.

All right, dudes.

Let's continue on doing some more pranks here.

We're going to be taking a break here in about 10 minutes.

It is Madhouse Radios.

I've said it about 1,000 times already.

If you haven't figured it out yet, sorry for you.

I don't know if I've called this number already, but we're going to call him now again.

Brendan, send in some more numbers, please.

Please, if you've got any, you always have good stuff.

We've got two requests of pranks here that have come in.

One from Bacon, the other one from Ken.

Let's see what they've sent in.

Matt, a guy named Matt, who we have been challenged to piss off by Bacon.

All right, cool, Mr. Bacon, we'll do that.

I was thinking the other day, we never really did a good anniversary show this year.

We didn't really get into it, huh?

I know, man.

We always used to.

We've got to have to do something, man, kind of refresh for that.

Yeah, it would have been a good night to do, like, at least a Best of 2010, right?

You know, we could have, you know, recapped the year a little bit.

It was a broken-up year for Madhouse.

We only did half a year of shows.

I know.

That'd be nice.

Maybe we could throw something, you know, something small together sometime, you know?

Yeah, we should have thrown something together.

In honor.

Eh, maybe next week we'll recap 2010, just in case something really good happens this week.

Eh, well, I'll think about it.

If you guys have ideas, pass them on.

We'll do it.

All right.

Let's piss Matt off here.

Let's tell him he has a girl's name.

That guy's funny.

Where are our girls now?

That's nothing Milkman would say.

Irish Matt.

He's a message.

Hey, he's on the voicemail there, buddy.

Call him back later.

Who the hell is Irish Matt?

I don't know, man.

Irish Matt?

Jake, 5'6", gay?

You need me in Mexico?

No, I'm just kidding.

I'm just kidding.

I like one of them Irish fairies.

Yes.

Or leprechauns, I mean.

Fairies.

Yeah, an Irish leprechaun is a fairy, isn't it?

I mean leprechauns.

Yeah.

Leprechauns are pretty gay.

All right, we got someone selling a...

Someone's trying to sell a Best Buy gift card

That has $138.89

They only want $130

For it

Alright let's haggle them

Oh my god

Wow big savings

What the fuck is that

Who would go for that deal

That's fucking retarded

That's more trouble than anything

Why would I go out of my way

And it cost $10 for the shipping

Okay so they got a Best Buy gift card

That has $138 and change

They want to sell it to you for $130

So you're going to save $8 and $89.

But it costs $10 for shipping.

Whatever.

You're going to save $8.89 on a $130 purchase.

That's fucking retarded.

But then you add on the $10 in shipping.

They're not charging for shipping, are they?

They're not.

What are you talking about?

You don't have the ad in front of you.

That'd be funny.

It's crazy.

But seriously, though, what kind of deal is that?

I would just fuck that.

I'd just go spend $130.

$138.

That's stupid.

Stupid, what kind of deal is that?

Some people are just Jews.

Give it to me for $120 or something, man.

Jeez.

I used to be a kid, dude.

I was a kid with things like that.

Oh, it's worth it, man.

Jeez.

There's something sticky in my fake tit now.

I don't know where it's from.

It's like you got my voicemail, so you might as well leave me a message or you name a number

and I will call you back when I get it.

That's probably a scam.

Something about the sound of his voice, the ethnicity in his voice.

Oh, thank you.

Anyway, I think I might as well take that break now because I really got to pee.

I know I'm all wishy-washy tonight, folks.

Folks, I'm not feeling all there right now.

You've got to send me a set of those tits, man.

Those are awesome.

I can't stop playing with it, dude.

It's been like this all week.

Every since Christmas Day, I'm like, oh, I'm going to rip the boob.

All right, I'm going to take that break.

I've got the same problem, man.

Yeah?

You can't stop playing with tits?

I hear you, man.

It's fun.

Yeah.

All right, folks.

We're going to take a five-minute, six, seven-minute break or something.

I don't know.

We'll be right back in about five, six minutes.

This is Madhouse Radio.

When we come back, we've got more numbers in the U.K.

in the UK. We've got a macaroni

grill here to call. Cafe Mizzaluna.

We've got a few Italian restaurants. A lot of

stuff to do, Milkman. All your requests

keep ringing in. Yeah! Hopefully we get

some answers on those Craigslist calls.

We're right back, folks.

When you die, they put your GPS in your

box and a trapdoor at the bottom.

So when you die, you open

a trapdoor at the bottom, you check the

GPS, and you go straight

to the hell. Madhouse Radio is back.

You are bigger than a woman.

You are better than a woman.

We'll always be behind you.

Do not let a woman ever, ever make you who you are.

Rapper to rewrite history without a pen.

No ID on the track that the story began.

All right, we are back, Madhouse Radio.

Milkman's got a fire alarm going on out there.

Let's check on Milkman.

Hang on.

Milkman.

All right.

What's going on?

You started a fire?

You were masturbating vigorously

and you caught your pants on fire.

Jesus Christ, Milko.

Seriously, what happened?

Where's the fire alarm coming from?

Is it from your unit or somewhere else?

What are you going to do?

All right, it sucks.

I hate that sound.

All right, cool.

Yeah, I hate it when those fire alarms go like that.

The one here that my work goes off sounds just like that.

I hate that shit, man.

Anyway, well, let's go back to the music here.

More prank calls coming up.

Only Milkman has stuff like that happen to him.

Gotta love the guy, huh?

I'm gonna go kill him.

Look, man, you better hide your weed and stuff, man.

The cop's gonna show up.

All right, man.

Off to time.

Yes, Nunu.

The winches have a great guarantee.

Alright, let's call him about that.

Jesus, finally, shut it off.

What, is he burning butter over there or something?

I don't know, dude.

I think he would have a big smoking party over there next door, man.

There's a lot of weed smell in here.

Oh, shit.

Medical marijuana guy.

They're all over Medicaid, I believe.

Hello?

Windsor?

Mr. and or Mrs. Windsor?

Anybody?

They're not going to talk.

That's fine.

I got another Windsor where that came from.

There has to be some more.

Always is, man.

When we got Lonesome around, there always is more.

My homeboy, Lonesome Loser, man.

The hitman.

I love Lonesome.

He's good people.

The man with the Tommy Gunn number gun.

Yeah.

God, this set's addicting.

It's more addicting than weed.

Dude, you've got to send me a set.

I'll send you the money.

Hello.

I'm going to sit here at the moment.

Please leave a message and phone number.

One of us will get...

What was that?

It sounded like a wee-wee.

Remember?

The cat that was missing?

No, it was a noise.

It was an answering machine, dude.

You probably could have cracked that one.

Either that or McMoses.

Ah, yeah.

First from Cheesy.

I might send this to the mixtape Weezy.

Get somebody from BMF to talk on this.

Get this to a blood.

Let a crip walk on it.

Kokany sending in some requests.

Kokany wanted to call in.

I got to get that number.

Shit.

I don't know what it is.

Fuck.

Why does it say that we're calling Bermuda?

No, we're not.

Bitch.

Back over here.

You better double check, man,

that you're not pre-dialing something from their last calls.

I don't think we've ever called Bermuda,

which is a good idea because Bermuda is an English-speaking country.

You know, that'd be a good target.

But I bet you it is expensive as hell, dude, because it's Caribbean.

Yeah, for some reason it's Caribbean.

Especially the cell phones in the Caribbean are expensive.

Remember we tried to call a Jamaican cell phone once?

It was like $5 a minute.

Fuck that shit.

Right, right, right.

It's different now if you're calling the Virgin Islands

because it's still in the U.S.

But anything outside of the U.S. in the Caribbean is $5.

Yeah, it is.

I don't get it.

You've got to send me a set of those this Wednesday, and I'll send you the postage.

Yeah, hi.

Well, this is Windsor.

This is the Windsors, the House of Windsor.

Oh, my God.

Well, seriously, this is a good question.

Hang on, let's try them again.

Yeah, what happened?

Why did you hang up the phone?

I asked you a question.

It's 5.40 in the morning.

Oh, yeah, so?

I'm seriously ill.

What did you want?

What are you ill with?

Do you have cancer or something less than that?

Why?

What are you going to do?

No, maybe I can pray for you, but what are you seriously ill with?

That's all I know.

No problem.

Huh?

I'm seriously ill.

I'll try one more time.

Well, maybe not milk her, right?

She's seriously ill, right?

It's better to start a conversation.

She probably smoked it.

That's probably what happened there.

She was smoking.

There's a fire alarm here.

That's why we're calling.

There's a fire alarm.

Remember that time that we called?

Yeah, yep.

Remember that time that we called the lady?

We were like, get out, get out, get out.

She's like, okay, I'm going.

She ran downstairs in her underwear.

Like get out

Oh my god

She's like what happened

What happened

Like there's a fire

She's like oh my god

And I called her back

You know 10 minutes later

She's like yeah I was out there

I was the only one out there

Yeah she's like

I was the only one out there

And I'm like

See this is what you do

With the boobs

All you kids out there

Teenagers that watch

Listen to the show

You take the boob

And you smack it

Like that's how girls

Like it

Smack the tits

Wow

That's how they like it

Oh

Feels good

Damn

Makes them wet

Damn

Check it out

It's getting

It's getting red now

I can punch like this, bitch.

I'll teach you how.

You're a punch in the dick, son.

The camera's shaking around your punch this hard.

Yeah, really?

My bad.

I shake the bed.

I shake the camera.

I shake everything, man.

I'm having the sex.

I'm the old lady.

Ted said it's sit-go time.

Have you tried to call Big Brenda yet?

Big Brenda hung up the phone, but yes, it is sit-go time.

Let's try them.

You know what?

Well, let's make sure we give him a call

and he sends in a picture of her tits, he promised us.

Where's Lizard?

Yeah, right?

At least she's got some awesome, a lot of tits,

and we ain't seen nothing.

Andy wants to call in.

How would some dude pretend like her name's Linda?

Dude, for the life of me,

I have no idea how to find out what number it is that I purchased.

How do I find that out?

I guess I could call myself.

Doesn't it tell you in Skype?

You could call my direct number.

Dude, I could give you my direct number,

and you could call it.

Yeah?

You still got it, right?

I don't know.

I don't know if that ever happened.

Hold on.

Watch your beer.

I'll send it to you.

Hold on.

All right.

Yeah, you do.

Hold on.

You got like 10 numbers, Milkman.

I don't know what the fuck.

You got so many numbers.

Dude, I got a shitload of numbers.

I think I got it here now.

But I don't usually hand out the Google number anymore because I've got so many that you

can forward to any of them.

Oh, I got it.

I got it.

Don't worry, Milkman.

I got it.

I'm going to give it to you.

I'm going to send you the number, though, just so you have it.

I'm going to let Andy and Kokanee want to sit in also over here a little bit.

let me uh send this to uh milkman that's the studio number now okay keep a note of that okay

got it okay okay just in case you ever need it when you see this number calling you then that's

that's me all right save it in your evo as uh madhouse studio let me give that send a number

okay definitely andy you know you and uh milkman you and andy are going to be talking together now

first time in years oh boy you're able to hear each other wow that's that yeehaw i mean oh man

Man, great.

Yee-haw.

Yeah.

Sound too exciting.

Oh, yeah.

There you go, Andy.

I'm getting a Woody now.

Wow.

Lost a feat.

No, a feat just...

I want to see if maybe...

If he will get me one of those belts with my name on the back.

Dude, why do you...

Why...

Where did that joke come from?

What is it?

It's an M.M. Love Vandy.

Explain it.

So, what is it supposed to be?

Like, you have a belt on your...

Like, a backwards belt?

Is that what it's supposed to be?

The belt's on your ass?

In the back?

No, no, no.

Okay, truckers always go out to these truck stops, and they've got these great big leather belts about two inches wide.

And somebody takes and pounds, like, embosses images into it, pictures and stuff, snakes, you know, Harley symbols.

And then on the back, I always write their name right in the back between the pockets.

Okay.

So Andy says Andy right across the back.

And the reason you do that is so you know the name of the person that you're fucking.

Dude, this is weird.

Andy was never a truck driver.

Andy mentioned once, once, that he was going to think about driving trucks,

and for the life of you, you keep bringing it up.

Right across the back.

Andy.

Yeah.

What's up, man?

Hold on.

Yeah.

Hold on.

Hang on.

I got you.

I added you wrong.

Call back in.

I'm going to hang up.

I've got to call you back in so I can add you to the conference.

All right.

Should I call or you call?

Let me call you.

It'll be easier that way, all right?

Okay.

All right.

Okay, buddy.

Yeah.

All right.

Let me call him back.

Milkman.

Hang on.

Milkman.

Don't go anywhere.

Milkman.

all right milkman i got you hang on let me add let me add big andy over here he hates it when i

call him big andy okay what are we back all right man we told you i'm burned ah shit wait a minute

how am i gonna get his number okay here we go here we go i can do this dial pad no have people

no oh fuck they changed skype for the worse it looks pretty but it's like so non-fuck call it's

so unintuitive now well they went from being non-intuitive to intuitive so it just makes it

it really weird all right here he goes add to conference this should do it all right cool

that's up all right so milkman you gotta explain this trucker thing andy you were like a trucker

never right no never and also milkman does an awful lot about trucker belt buckles i think

he's taking a lot off in his time he might be a lot looser like that this is very gay

how do you know all this stuff andy uh milkman i mean i don't know yeah yeah

He's like, oh, truckers have their names in the back of their belt buckles.

I'm like, well, you know, I don't know that.

I've never taken a trucker's belt buckle off before, but I'm sure Milkman has many times.

Milkman, are you there?

I had to do research on this once I found out he was going to be a good 10-4 buddy.

You had it at a truck stop and you sucked cock, huh?

He sucked cock.

He drove your asshole scooter to the truck station.

He was like, hey, guys, I got an extra five bucks, so I'll take my old man teeth out.

You fucking head on an Omo.

Gum job.

I'll gum you with my ancient gums, you fucking bastard.

Dude, he's got a point, God.

I call me Gumby.

God.

Hey, I never heard about trucker belt buckles before.

Like, who knows that?

Who knows that?

Yeah, totally, man.

Really?

Yeah.

He just outed himself by accident.

Yep, and I think Milkman was a trucker, and I think he was into the, you know.

No, he wasn't a trucker.

He was just a trucker.

He wasn't a trucker, but he knows a lot about truckers.

He knows a lot of truckers.

He was a groupie.

Trucker groupie.

Good buddy.

He was a good buddy.

That's what he was.

He was a good buddy.

Head full of Breaker 1-9.

This is like old times here on the Madhouse show.

This is like Madhouse 2005.

Everybody's angry.

agree going back to this again yeah i like that i'd also according to rompere i'd like to thank

the 17 people who voted for me in the uh who would you like to see you back on the show

paul you did pretty good i came i think i'm at i'm at fourth place behind uh

zolarn records 200 votes each or whatever yeah because they obviously voted for themselves

over and over yeah yeah you'll want to keep voting for myself yeah who would actually

Was it Reklut or was he on a person?

I think Zola.

Was it Reklut or was he on a person?

Andy, all your votes came from Andy.

Shut up, Melvin.

We thought for everybody.

We thought for everyone.

Was it on a person with like 200 votes?

Reklut and Jim Stewart's got 200.

Where did Jim Stewart get so many votes from?

Where did that come from?

Oh, you're just crazy.

He's awful.

He's like British and stupid.

Jim's got 200 votes.

Reklut's got 199.

Yeah, it's just bullshit, Paul.

Yeah, Zolar came in at 5.

Zolar was 3rd with 25.

Did you make your big announcement, Carlos?

Big announcement?

How about you coming?

Yeah.

Yeah, we had talked about that a few.

Yeah, when you first announced it to me.

Yeah, you're going to be.

Oh, you told all the boys, huh?

Yeah, well, we told everybody on the air.

Okay, my triumphant return.

Yeah, what's, is there a date?

I forgot the date.

Feb, what?

I don't know.

15th, 18th.

February something.

Middle of February.

February.

Yeah.

February 18th and February 20th something.

to show two shows

back to back here.

Yeah, I'll be there

for two shows.

It'll be awesome.

It's going to be awesome.

Yeah, dude,

you're going to do

some prank calls.

You never ever did prank.

All you do is laugh.

No, I probably don't do

prank calls.

You're going to sit here

and drink and, you know.

I only do it when I'm angry.

I get angry.

Yeah, the one time

you did a prank,

it was pretty epic, though,

to the fuck you bitch

monster guy.

He made me mad

because he threatened you.

Yeah, he did.

He was defending me.

See, that's Andy.

He was defending me, man.

I know.

I can't.

Always got my back, you know.

He angered me.

Yeah, man.

Good deal.

Good times.

Yeah, I just figured I'd call in because this is a special, you know, usually I can't stay up and listen to the show because I'm one of your few listeners who has a job and actually works and produces.

Right, right.

That's cool.

So what's up with the union, man?

There's trucks that start early in the morning, you know.

Shut up, stupid.

What's up with the union?

Why would they slack like that?

Are you guys affiliated all together?

Aren't you like, you know.

No, no.

there's two

you know

there's private

and public sector

right

it's the

the public sector

wants to have a lot of

they got the

like if you work

for the government

you can

okay

they would just

you know

we try

they just fire us

so

yeah I can get fired

any time I

oh shit

so what are the

teamsters then

what's that about

I never

you know what I mean

they

yeah

well they

they drive trucks

shit like that

oh okay

alright cool

cool

that's like a

truck driver's union

it's called

teamsters

uh huh

they got them

I support the onions

And they're very angry and surly.

Like, it's different.

Every union's got a different amount of pot, too.

Like, my union doesn't really have much pot.

Right.

We won't mention which one you're in, but, yeah.

In Chicago, the irkers, they drink on the job and, you know, all sorts of shit.

Oh, shit.

Really?

That's awesome.

Yeah, they get away with it.

They don't care.

If someone came up and said anything, they'd be like, fuck you.

They won't make iron anymore.

What the fuck?

What do you need iron for anymore, anyway?

Do people even use iron?

Well, our irkers, they don't, you know, they're the ones who put the steel, so

they're

like the first ones to work.

So they got one because they said, hey, we're not going to work.

That fucks that, you know, no one can work then.

Yeah, because, yeah, because...

So they got a lot of pool.

That's cool.

All right, that's a good thing to know.

Yeah, we don't have shit, you know, what I do, we don't have shit for pool.

Right.

But, like, I heard a story where, like, they were on a job, and, you know, in the city,

and the nearest parking was like $30

and they didn't want to pay $30 to park

every day. That sucks.

They didn't show up until the people decided

to pay for their parking. $30 to park.

Andy, we're going to that Magic game at the new arena.

I forgot to tell you, the parking at the arena

is $20 a car now.

Well, someone's got to pay that.

You can actually, I think,

you can pay $12 if you walk a few blocks.

I guess we're going to be walking or something.

Yeah, that's going to be crazy.

This is not going to work.

There's three of these people going, so we're not going to walk.

All right, I'm thinking we park for $12 and then we call a cab from a few blocks away and get the ride.

Why don't we just park for $20 and we'll be right there?

Yeah, I guess we could just do that.

That's cool.

All right, cool.

Yeah, that's the far way to go.

Awesome.

And another question.

Is it true, like, when you're in a union, don't they tell you who you have to vote for?

Or don't they just give you a message?

No, well, they try to, but it doesn't work.

Do they make you do donations?

Like, they tell you...

Well, because they're like, you know, they go and they, you know, they tell you to vote for the...

But the Democrats, they don't really support the unions anymore.

No, not like they used to, right?

No.

No, in the 60s, like, there was, you know, there was a big infighting,

and instead of going for the working people, they went, you know,

taking care of minorities.

That's what they're talking about.

That's what a middleman loves, because he's a headhunter from the islands of Manuahuha.

Manuahuha, some American Manuahuha.

Manuahuha, and the middleman's got, like, three shrunken heads around his neck.

He's shrunken himself.

Japanese shrunken heads, that's cool

Alright, Andy, it's good talking to you, man

Right, alright, man

Alright, bro, you're off tomorrow?

Yeah, you are off tomorrow, right?

Oh, yeah, I'm off

If I had to work tomorrow, I'd be getting up in like four hours

Oh, fuck that, shit

Alright, cool

Alright, man, well, happy New Year

See you later, man

Fuck you, bitch motherfuckers

Fuck you, bitch motherfucker, man

See you later, good buddy

Fuck you, bitch motherfucker

Alright, everybody, that's Andy

Andy, thanks for calling in, Andy.

Good talking to him.

Now, now, now,

the noise is cleared from the frequency here

to actually do a show.

You guys, man.

Why don't you guys just kiss?

That's what you guys want to do.

Just get over it, man.

Get on with it.

You guys love each other.

I want a set of them damn kits.

You better send me some of them kits.

I'm serious, man.

If I got a set in the money order over there,

I'd want to by PayPal,

but you better send me some.

That's not right.

Right. You're not allowed to have them all

except for the milkman.

Alright, man. You got it.

I'm going to buy you a whole case of these fake tits, by the way.

I want to see a picture of you, though.

I don't give a shit. You better start with...

I'll take a picture of them, actually,

and then post it if you actually do.

If I could find a...

That'd be cool, like Madhouse tits.

If I could get them with Madhouse on them,

I'd autograph them and send them out.

It's getting kind of dirty, though, right now.

I'm looking at it.

Oh, my God.

All you got to do is just take them

them and get get your sharpie and just sign madhouse on them dude yeah and it'd be permanent

man that'd be a hell of a gift yeah permanent marker be permanent good point milkman they

never thought about that that's awesome get the old jack masterson sharpie out hell yeah yeah man

hell yeah that's how we do shit here at madhouse that's right so we get around in the mouth of

jack masterson there we go straight to you all right cool this is some pranks this is a prank

show we're supposed to do pranks here it's called the cafe mezzaluna oh no windsor windsor that's

That's right. That's where we're trying to get Windsor's to pick up.

We're working on that here. Let's do that.

Get some music going here.

I'm feeling a little better now.

Now they got some tea in me.

I'm feeling kind of lightheaded.

You look a little better there. You look kind of funky there.

Have you checked your blood pressure any time recently?

I don't understand, man.

Like, when I go to the doctor, they check my blood pressure,

and they tell me a number, and I don't know what it means.

They're like, it's 120 or something.

something now like okay is that good you don't want to be over 120 over 80 i think is is the

medium line 120 over 80 i think is what's the high and the low like what's what's this supposed to

signify your high and your low like your high is this but your low is this i'm like okay what's it

mean okay the high is when your heart is pumping that's the pressure is called systolic it's when

you're pumping okay it shouldn't be higher than 120 okay and uh diastolic is the one when your

Your heart isn't pumping.

There's still pressure in the vein.

I believe it's supposed to be 80 or lower.

80 or 90, right?

I think 90 is the border, something like that.

Borderline is 90 or something like that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, you got a little, there's a little flexion.

You can look it up.

But I think 120 over 80 is the prime number.

And most of the time, people's top number goes high first.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then the bottom number starts coming up, and that's worse.

Because that means when you're not beating, you're still, all pressure's too high.

Yeah, but I'm usually like, I'm usually, they'll usually tell me it's good.

it's 120 over something or 125 130 they're usually like oh it's not too bad but the thing

is okay here's the thing here's the thing though man that your blood pressure changes all the time

during the day number one number two if you're diabetic it's also a bigger issue because you

have a higher tendency to have what they call hypertension which is high blood pressure and

a higher probability of having a stroke which is a result from uh long-term high blood pressure

which is a bursting of a blood vessel in your brain right so you should have a monitor home

you should technically have a monitor and monitor your own blood pressure periodically especially

if you feel like you're getting a headache or you're sitting around you're feeling busy or

okay you stand because i have high blood pressure i know it's like you stand up and everything kind

of looks like you know kind of like you know you feel like oh my god my head's exploding that's

usually a sign your blood pressure's high sometimes you can't tell but sometimes when it's really high

You can tell.

I take a little bit of medicine, and I don't have any problems anymore.

Oh, really?

Okay.

Yeah, my dad had a blood pressure problem here.

Well, the show that I missed a few weeks ago was because he was in the hospital,

and I had to take him home, and he got out late,

so I couldn't make it home on time to do the show, the show that RBCP did for us.

But, yeah, he had a heart attack recently, and he got dizzy and passed out at a church event.

They were installing a new bishop here in Orlando,

Orlando, and he was over there, and he passed out, like, in the middle, you know, in the

church and stuff like that, had to take him to the hospital and stuff, and, yeah, they

told him, yeah, his, you know, blood pressure is fluctuating way too much, and he had a

major heart attack, you know, so.

Okay, here, sweet kisses, 134 over 80 is a good diabetic.

Is it really?

Okay.

He's diabetic, too.

Yeah, because usually, like, yeah, when I go get my blood pressure done, they usually

tell me, yeah, it's pretty good, it's good, don't worry about it, they either tell me

it's borderline, it's a little high, or it's good.

But sometimes I've gotten it and said it's a little high, but usually because, you know.

I think if you go, like, above 20 points above what your medium is,

I think if you go, like, around 20 points above your medium,

then you start counting which is considered high blood pressure.

But it could possibly be a thing that changes when you're not at the doctor, too, you know.

That's true.

Good point.

All right, cool.

All right, we've got some numbers here.

Let's get to them.

Cafe, let's call the Italian restaurant here first.

For some reason, I'm always intimidated by Italian numbers.

God damn it, I just said I was going to call Windsor instead, right?

Why am I doing that?

Um, it's not letting me conference the number, though.

That's odd.

What's going on here?

Tools?

No, no, no.

Call?

No.

Call?

Yes, no.

Call.

Call a phone number.

I'll clear the old one.

I'll paste the new one.

Where was it here?

R. Windsor.

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

Yeah, it says if I call the number that your call, Milkman, is going to get put on hold.

That's weird.

Uh, Milkman, tell you what, let me, I'm going to hang up our call.

I'm going to call you right back, then I'll do it.

See, I think it might need to be reset.

Because this call here that me and you have got has been going on for an hour.

Call me on your direct number.

Call me on the direct number and see what happens.

Try that one?

All right, cool.

Let me do that.

All right, cool.

All right, let me hang up here.

Give me a second.

I'm going to call you right back.

Hang on, folks.

I'll be right back.

We'll play a little music here.

Seriously, I want to thank you guys for hanging out with Madhouse tonight

and for supporting us all year.

You guys are great.

When I quit the show and all that stuff and it was you guys and girls going into the forums and stuff,

asking what was going on and asking for Madhouse stuff and wanting a show back,

I got me motivated and I talked to

Tuck and Milkman and I said hey you know

we should bring the band back we got a lot of

people that enjoy this show and like to listen to it

it's a fun thing this is a fun thing to do once a week

you know they can't all be good shows

but I do my best I think as long

as we're having fun you know what I mean

it doesn't necessarily have to be like you know epic prank call

every time but as long as we do

our best that's all that matters

oh no wonder yeah dude I've got like so many calls

queued up here no wonder it wouldn't let me

dance anymore move every single call

off on the roof and we do have to call that sid go ken don't worry i'll remember she's there the

girl with the big boobs that you always want us to call she'll be there still says anonymous does

it really yeah i called the number i just sent you or you got my regular number yeah the one

you just sent me the ends in uh six that one oh okay well it came up anonymous really that's weird

yeah okay all right maybe still maybe the caller id maybe the caller id doesn't work completely

on a that's weird maybe sometime who knows dude i get i get weird shit sometimes with caller id

yeah i'm on a mobile so that's why maybe because of the mobile right it doesn't show a number even

it just comes up unknown this is anonymous this is anonymous let me try to call myself i'm gonna

call myself and see what happens thank you for bearing with me here folks hi there while we

test things out hi there hi there how you doing see what happens when i call the cell but the

quality of your call is better so i'm gonna have you call this number from now on on the show

Yeah, on my cell phone, it comes up with the phone number.

Record your message after the tone.

To send a numeric page, press 5.

When you are finished recording, hit...

I hung up on Milkman.

Oops.

I got the wrong number.

I have to edit all this out.

Howdy, howdy.

I got hung up on.

Who is this calling?

Sorry, man.

I called the wrong number.

I hung up on the wrong number.

Hey, what's up, man?

Did it come up now?

Did it come up now or no?

Nope.

Still anonymous.

I don't know.

Maybe it'll take a little bit to come up on there.

Sweet Kiss is posting something about blood sugar here in your chat room.

Calls (29, 1 h 20 min of 3 h 2 min)

Transcript

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