Important Health Update
12 May 2011 · 40 min · 6,266 words · source
Calls (6, 13 min of 40 min)
- Prank call to Heather Gerard about phone number theft live 3.6 min clip ↓
- Call to unknown person about appendix damage live 1.1 min clip ↓
- Call to Charlie's phone line live 51 s clip ↓
- Call to Cindy Maldonado about stolen phone live 1.9 min clip ↓
- Call to Cindy Maldonado after number change live 1.3 min clip ↓
- San Francisco Succulent Cactus Society about cactus article live 4.7 min clip ↓
Transcript
you're on Carlito all right this is Carlito and uh RBCP hey everyone hey folks um yeah I just
wanted to well first of all I'm sorry that I've been missing for so long I wanted to come on real
quick and say hi to everybody and let you know I'm still alive and kind of explain what was going
going on. I thought this would be more of an interview
on RBCP's part. Cool.
I appreciate RBCP for putting me on.
I am curious about things. I would like
to ask you things. And as friendly
as I'm being, I don't think I'm
not going to dock your pay for this.
Okay, that's understandable.
My real boss did the same, yeah.
I've stopped receiving
paychecks a long time ago. I've been out of work
for a month now.
Damn, I was kidding. Now I feel bad.
No medical insurance, man. I got a bill
for $25,000 and I got another one on the way so yeah holy shit things are looking up another $25,000
bill yeah yeah sure another one yeah I got denied for some type of uh wound back medical machine
machine that would speed up my recovery by 50% I got the word today they're going to decline that
because they say I make too much money despite the fact that I'm not working at all so you gotta
love that yeah I love the corporations man thought it was a corporation decision but the fact my
My doctor says it's medically necessary so I can get back to work.
His company says, no, they will not give it to me.
Which is, I mean, that's up to them.
I mean, you know, they're in the business of making money, I guess.
You know, they make this machine and they're not out to, you know, give it away.
But at the same time.
Yeah.
I think the only answer is to sell weed.
Become a drug dealer.
I might, you know, I'm thinking about it.
Yeah.
I'm a part of the whole rule of, you know, never get high on your own supply.
So it wouldn't work out.
Yeah, probably not.
I end up stoned all the time when I'm up in a cell.
Kind of like that movie Friday, the first one.
Ended up like that, like smoky.
Yep.
Have you even been on, have you done a show, like, since you've been sick at all?
Like, I remember you doing one show, I don't know, I'm confused with, like, you being sick
and then you also moving.
It seems like you've been gone forever.
It was the whole thing.
I did one show in January when I was still in Orlando, the holidays.
I did that, and then I didn't do a show until I got into, I moved up to Pennsylvania.
I got my apartment.
I did a week I was in my apartment like it was really bad quality had like no mic or anything
I was talking into the laptop built in mic and stuff. I was stealing Wi-Fi from a neighbor
So I did that and then I did one I did one show the week before I went into the hospital
So would have been let's see. My surgery was on the 14th and only three this whole year so far in 2011 Wow
I'm pretty weak. Yeah
Yeah, yeah, I'm disappointed in you.
Bring everybody up to speed.
Basically what happened was my appendix burst on a Sunday,
and then I've never had a surgery before,
never really been in the hospital.
Pretty healthy guy, I guess, despite the fact that I'm obese.
Well, I'm diabetical, so I guess I'm not that healthy.
But I didn't want to go to the hospice.
I thought maybe it's just something else or something.
I just took the day off of work that Monday,
and then I kept working because I didn't want to not work
because I'm kind of like on a temporary contract.
and I was like, well, if I don't go to work, you know, they'll fire me or something.
So I worked for the next three days with a burst appendix and didn't take it anymore.
I went to the hospital and they confirmed, yeah, that I had a burst appendix for several days
and I was all full of infection and surgery, like immediately, like they called the surgeon,
had him run down to the hospital.
Wow.
You know, they put me into emergency surgery, yeah, and then I had days in the hospital,
which is funny because normally for an appendectomy, you know, you're out the next day.
what does a burst appendix feel like like it was it just a stomach ache or was it like really
intense man like we went out with my family uh my wife's family my in-laws and stuff and
my nephews we went out to the mall and i just they said i started looking like turning green
i just felt like i was full like i thought well maybe i'm just you know i thought i had a stomach
bug or something at first and then that night it was just a whole pain in my whole abdominal region
like the entire thing was just like a pain i was like well maybe i just got a stomach bug maybe
you know probably shit it out in the morning or something and then it's concentrating on the right
side of my my body you know basically where the appendix is so um what i you know i got worried
about it i called up sick and then i started looking up the symptoms in wikipedia like you
know people do these days and the symptoms were falling in line with what appendicitis is so i
was like well if this doesn't go away you know by the afternoon then i'll go to the hospital but
then all of a sudden the pain went away um i still had kind of like tenderness but it went
went away and what the doctor said basically that was the moment that my appendix burst you know
that sure kind of released but over the course of the next three days it just leaked pus and you
know pus and infection and blood into my system and it was it was crazy i was walking around like
a zombie for two or three days i was driving and stuff and i was a little incoherent at work and
they were really concerned about me and went to the hospital so the doctor said had it waited
about 12 or 24 hours more i would have been you know either in icu or dead i'm glad she didn't
die i got there yeah so you can't say i'm not a dedicated worker i suppose yeah that's true so
then um on top of that then i got released i came home i had staples in my stomach and
and stuff came home i was home for a week um over the easter weekend and um started running fevers
started getting sick uh you know took chills and convulsions and stuff and they sent me to
the hospital again ended up safe because basically infection had set in in my body again and it's
It's not like I wasn't clean or something like that.
They just said if you have appendicitis and you just let it go like that,
if you don't get it taken care of quickly, it'll just ravage your body.
Wow.
That's probably what I would do, too.
I'd probably put it off forever.
Yeah, I'm totally like that, man.
It bit me in the ass.
I learned my lesson now.
So now I've got two hospital trips, no insurance, all this stuff going on.
And right now, so basically they put me on this super heavy antibiotic regimen.
then I've got like three different ones that I take pretty strong I've got what's called a
pick line in my arm so it's basically like a wire that goes in my right bicep the vein all the way
into my heart and it's maybe like a I connect antibiotics like basically it's an IV I connect
antibiotics uh times a day into my body they keep me up at night and make me sick maybe have to take
a big shit in the toilet while I'm doing them it's really crazy because it just kills everything in
in your body kills all the bacteria and just comes right out of your out of your system dj scott's
wanting to ask me he's asking me to ask you why the hell didn't athena tell you to go to the
hospital like athena did tell me to go to the hospital the first day um you're like shut up
bitch and backhanded her yeah we yeah kind of told her no you know because you know we
sit with a nurse friend of hers and she said there should be some other symptoms like you know hit
the bottom of his feet see if he has a lot of pain and that didn't happen you know and like for
For the most part, the normal symptoms of appendicitis were gone at that point.
But then Athena says that she probably should have been a lot stronger
and kicked my ass and got me into the hospital.
But I'm hard-headed.
I will not listen to her anyway.
I'm like that.
She knows her place.
Yeah, she does.
She's in the kitchen, basically.
That's what she was doing.
Nah, nothing like that.
You couldn't hear her yelling at you from the kitchen.
Is that what it was?
Nah, yeah, exactly.
With the dishwasher going and all that, it's hard to hear.
That's true.
Yeah, but she's been a trooper.
I think it's brought us more together, actually, throughout this whole ordeal,
because she's been having to take care of me.
Be quite surprised.
And, yeah, I had my staples removed, like, no anesthesia.
Like, the second time I went in, they yanked all the staples out of my stomach,
so I've got this big wound in my big, fat belly.
I have to get, you know, changed at it twice a day and stuff.
It's been a pretty nasty nightmare, man.
Yeah, yeah.
I was on morphine.
I had nightmares on morphine coming out.
I was convinced I was a horseman.
Did I tell you about that story?
No, I don't think so.
I don't know if I told you about that.
Hey, DJ Scott is speculating that Athena probably has a big life insurance policy on you,
and that's why she didn't push it.
I'm sorry.
Go ahead.
Actually, we've joked around about that.
I think you should look into that, actually.
I should.
Shit, I don't know what she's putting in me right now.
She might be poisoning me.
Yeah, they had me in a morphine drip for the pain,
and I used to take it.
I was freaking out on the morphine.
I had to get a dick or whatever.
The doctor was like, well, that's good.
That means you're recuperating.
then i started going through withdrawals and up on a sunday night like sunday at three o'clock
in the morning wait withdrawals of what morphine morphine okay okay i'm sorry morphine like a
little button that i could hit whenever i wanted to well that sounds so nice you know yeah so and
i was having fun with it i got freaked out and stopped taking it and so i started having the
withdrawals eight o'clock in the morning i woke up and all i could hear was voices i don't know
have you played call of duty back about black ops no no never if you nope you haven't well
Well, the whole thing with that, like, it's, you know, there's a main character in the game, like, held in some kind of CIA, you know,
and they're talking to him, you know, like, you know, they got this guy's voice to talk to him and, you know, forces him to spill information.
Anyway, I was hearing the voice, and it was telling me that I wasn't human, basically, and I didn't see anything.
It was dark.
I was like, you know, basically, it was for legs.
Wow, that sounds amazing.
And then I couldn't walk ever again.
Yeah, so I started freaking out.
I started, you know, screaming, like, what am I?
What am I?
and the nurses came, and they're like, who are you?
I'm like, I don't know, I have a horse head or something.
Like, I was freaking out.
That was pretty crazy.
I hope my appendix burst.
I want to have that experience.
Well, appendix burst, everybody.
If you have these symptoms, I highly recommend just go.
Even if you just go to a clinic or something, just, you know, have them check you out.
Because had I gone as soon as it happened, it would have been a laparoscopic surgery,
just one little hole, you know, the size of maybe two inches long,
and then it would have taken it out, and I would have been walking around in four days.
But instead, now it's going to be over a month to some 100%.
So like a month from now, or you've got left, you think?
I've probably got another two weeks.
I've seen the doctor.
The surgeon tomorrow is going to take a look at things
and give me a better idea when I can go back to work.
Ah, okay.
Yeah, and I've got to tell my boss the good news,
and hopefully they let me stay on.
I don't know.
They're offering me a permanent position, which is really weird.
They gave me a call.
My boss gave me a call, and I thought she was going to tell me
they were going to have to let me go.
And instead she said,
well, we'd love to give you a permanent position when you're all healthy.
And I'm like, oh, that's nice.
Oh, okay.
They felt bad for you.
It's a pity hire, I think.
Yeah, I know.
You know, the worst thing is, dude, I was less than a week away from getting medical insurance, like being eligible for it.
Yeah, you should have put it off another week.
I know.
I tried.
Yeah, I was thinking that, too, because, like, when I was at work, they were telling me, why don't you go to the hospital?
Like, my co-worker.
And I said, well, I don't have medical insurance.
They're like, oh, man, that sucks.
So, yeah, I should have put it off a few more days.
But, I don't know.
Three was enough.
Yeah.
Yeah. Anyway, so how are you doing?
Oh, great. I mean, compared to you, relatively. Great. My life is awesome.
I also wanted to mention, I know you're seeing that, but I made a lot of changes to the website this week since I have nothing else to really do.
I've been at home, and I created on the madhouselive.com site, I created a whole archive section now.
And every single prank that we've ever done on Madhouse is up there going back to 05.
Awesome.
And I counted it just before the show.
It's 482 pranks total that are up there for download.
Nice.
So those are individual pranks or those are shows?
Those are individual pranks, 482.
Nice.
That's crazy.
They have to be organized.
I have to listen to them and make a little synopsis, but at least they're up there now.
Yeah, and then all the shows, I'm up to, I just uploaded year 2008.
2005, 06, and 07 already uploaded, and people can listen to them as they'd like.
So there, that's on madhouselive.com.
So I've made a little few, like, mostly cosmetic changes to the site,
but that new show archives section is new,
and I've gotten a lot of good feedback about it.
I'm pretty excited about it.
Yeah, that's cool.
You also let me on your FTP, and I downloaded every show you've ever done.
So I'm going to get those in the rotation this weekend on Cacti Radio
because people were complaining at me
because the same show kept playing every time for them.
Yeah, there's nine shows playing over and over again.
Yeah, I get pretty pissed off at that.
They were, like, at the, he told me, I think he said he was at the gym or something, and
every single night he was at the gym, it was playing that same one, and he's getting sick
of it.
Ah.
Fucking episode.
Yeah.
Yeah, so I took your shows off for this week, but, um, I don't know, in a day or two, I'm
going to get them all up, and there's going to be hundreds, and there'll never be a repeat
again.
So, yay.
Yeah, it shouldn't be.
Yeah, because I think it comes up to, like, something like, if you were to play every
single episode in a row, according to Winamp, it'd be, like, over a week's worth, I think,
and nothing would repeat i think nice so yeah it's a lot of stuff yeah cool and i've got your
show set up to play three times a day i think it plays like three in the morning 11 and seven at
night every night oh i'm working on the schedule yeah yeah all right cacti radio schedule you've
made it big time now yeah yeah play my pranks whenever you want all that stuff you know they're
they're there for you to enjoy and play for all the kids out there cool awesome so that's cool
you do you did a show this week right yeah you said you had a good show this week right yeah
Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, compared to last week, because, you know, the week before was incredibly awful.
And then Roxy's was pretty bad, too. No offense, Roxy.
Yeah, last week was a bad week. This week was an okay week.
Was Rocky the chance to catch?
Yeah, yeah, she was on. She did some good stuff last night.
I'm going to make a better effort to listen to Roxy's show.
I've heard little snippets here and there of her shows, but they're a good thing.
She seems to be a pretty cool checker.
Yeah, she's just great at being completely ridiculous in her prank calls, kind of like you are.
you know just randomness and just just weird stuff she's she's fun uh this this morning uh
or this afternoon we started calling um what we were doing we were calling landlords of apartment
complexes and we were telling them that that we uh we'd we'd put sand all over our floors like
you know thousands of pounds of sand because we wanted our apartment to be like a beach
and then trying to get the landlords to uh to reimburse us for the for the you know renovation
right that's right yeah yeah it's cool we're gonna we're gonna keep doing that until we get
a really awesome reaction you know but we got we got some pretty good reactions today though
cool yeah i was pretty bummed out man because the world wedding happened on a friday so my i had
this plan all along that you know we're going to do the show thursday night you know we always do
those uk wake-up calls so it would have been you know friday morning maybe three or four hours
before the wedding started you know waking people up you know to make sure that they're
watching the wedding coverage it would have been would have been epic but i wasn't said i was on
the hospital uh that would have been great that would have been fun to hear what can you do yeah
yeah you'll never have another chance at that one yeah yeah well brad i don't know i don't think i
have anything else unless you want to try a prank call with me or something like that i don't know
if you have that ability now oh yeah yeah i can make a call right now i don't know who to call
really we have any numbers anything going on anybody quick should go in the chat room yeah
Yeah, people are making comments and stuff.
I don't know how to pronounce this name.
Mr. Clay, the one that's all spelled crazy, says tell Carlito to come back.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, tell Carlito to come back.
Milkman is getting hooked on the 435 ham radio repeater.
LOL.
So apparently that's really funny, but I don't get it.
Let me see.
I need to run Java.
I've always got open book numbers.
Do you know about that?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, it's a site that will look at Facebook posts and let you search for Facebook posts, even if they're private.
So we just search for, you know, new telephone number, and people post their new cell phone numbers on there.
Oh, sounds good.
So you want to call this girl named Heather Gerard, and, like, she says,
Hey, everyone, my new number is 307, and it has a name.
Okay.
Heather Gerard, and then she left.
Give me an idea here.
I'm trying to think what I can do to her.
Okay, hold on.
Let's see if her thing's private.
Evanston, Wyoming.
and she's engaged to ben reynolds and oh she's a cashier she's oh this could be good she's a
cashier at super walmart nice so you know you could fire her or something yeah sure no problem
make it so okay here it goes i've told them before that we're shutting down their facebook
account for posting phone numbers hello hello this is heather big heather yeah you understand
you got the new phone number yes yeah i'm on the line with roy yes i'm roy i'm just the
supervisor i'm just listening in to make sure this goes okay but uh this yeah he's he's monitored
he's monitored the call we're with um with the local radio shack uh the problem is there was
some type of confusion because this phone number is actually supposed to be ours via delivery today
mod 248 repeaters and they said that they called and they spoke to you to make the confirmation
i was wondering if you could at least give us that confirmation number because you accepted
the delivery and we need to call them back to kind of cancel it uh didn't accept any deliveries
This is the only phone call I've had on this phone.
Well, you obtained this phone number illegally, so basically we just need...
If you can help us out, we're going to get us trained out tomorrow with the phone company.
In the meantime, if you can at least give us that confirmation number so we can get it canceled.
I don't have a confirmation number.
Well, who else answers this phone?
Because it specifically said, you know, they didn't make up the name Heather.
I don't know where they got the name from.
I don't know, because I've never...
This is the first phone call I've had on this phone.
I haven't answered the phone.
I have no confirmation number.
I have no idea who you are.
I'm Cross, and Roy is my manager.
And the paperwork shows that Valentin Associates confirmed the delivery of the repeaters tomorrow.
I don't work there.
I just got this phone today from Verizon Wireless.
Brand new line.
See, it's supposed to be our phone number.
Our phone call stopped coming in today.
So we called Verizon, and they confirmed that you had taken the phone number from us without permission.
Ma'am, you're not in trouble or anything.
You don't have to deny it.
We just need that confirmation number.
I don't have a confirmation number.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Well, you can stop lying to us right now.
We're just trying to straighten this out.
All right.
Well, you know what I'm going to do?
I'm going to hang up.
And if you have any problems, you can call whoever gave you this phone number, because
I don't really know who you're talking about or what you're talking about.
So have a nice day.
Don't call me back.
Okay, goodbye.
We got a big fucking problem.
I'm sorry.
Maybe I made her hang up too quick.
Can I do your sound effect so it sounds official?
Yeah.
Oh shit
I don't know if it deserved the healthy applause, but do you want to call her back?
I'll call her back, sure.
Or Nunu sent a number also.
We could try that out.
Oh, in the UK?
No, it's in Hawaii that you drop in.
Is that one of your regulars?
That's the Charlie.
I think you guys have been calling him.
Roxy has, I think, right?
Yeah.
Fuck you.
Yeah, I don't think it lasted very long, but yeah, I heard her call, I think, this
week on our show.
Me too.
Here it goes.
I'll try not to talk beforehand so I don't screw you all up.
This show sounds so unfestive without you doing the soundboard
because, you know, there's no background music or sound effects.
The glue.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm not on my game either.
Yeah, man, these antibiotics have got me all little pieces.
Do you want me to help you?
Yes, hi.
I have to make an order, but before that,
I wanted to collect an order and damage my appendix.
If you had any complaints about probably making damage to the appendix machine at all,
she knows my voice.
She just takes me off.
Hello?
She's there still.
I think she just set the phone down.
Yeah, she just put the phone down and shit, man.
Should I hang up?
Yeah.
She's gone, I guess.
She hung up finally.
Did she hang up or did you?
No, she hung up.
She hung up?
Yeah.
I called back.
Okay.
Hello, can I help you?
Yeah.
Hello, yes, can I help you?
Yeah, you were checking in on something for me and the phone got cut.
I'm going to get the call.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
The call's been terminated.
She knows my voice.
She doesn't let me talk to Charlie anymore.
She'll talk to you guys, not me.
I think we should, let's blame Nunu because he sent it in.
Fucking Nunu.
You know, just hang up now.
I mean, stop listening now, Nunu.
We're sick of your shit.
Yeah, I don't need you anymore, Nunu.
Get out of here, Nunu.
You want to try one more Facebook lady?
Her name's Cindy, and she says,
Hey, peeps, got my phone stolen,
so I had to get a new phone number
and text me y'all's numbers.
Yeah.
Any more info?
Name or anything?
Let me check.
Info.
No, she only shares with her friends.
um it's a 832 number which is oh crap what is that oh that's uh houston i think that's the
houston area and her name okay here it goes her name is cindy maldonado cindy maldonado yeah
that's the one i need to speak with cindy maldonado this the cell phone that got stolen
hello who's this about the cell phone that you had you got stolen that you stole that i saw who
the fuck is this good bullshitting i'm not time for stupid cliche who the fuck is this no this
Mrs. Cross, you see, you've got my phone number right now.
They said that you stole my phone.
I don't have this.
I just got this fucking number.
I didn't steal nobody's fucking phone.
If you're a fucking man, be straight up.
Woman, my phone stopped ringing today, and then I called the cell phone company,
and they said that you had taken the phone from me without permission.
What phone?
I'm calling you first to straighten it out before I have to make a report.
What phone are you talking about?
My cell phone, my Droid X.
Your what?
My Droid X, my Android phone.
Your Android phone.
First of all, I ain't got that kind of phone.
So, is it negative?
No, but the phone.
You don't know about it?
My phone number.
I called my phone and the phone's ringing.
So, she has my phone.
Well, shit.
I just bought this phone right now personally.
And they just gave me this number.
So, somebody else put your number.
That's somebody else's number.
No, how come you have my phone number?
Is it an American I can speak to?
Or someone speaks English?
You speak English.
What the hell are you trying to say?
I have like an accent.
Maybe you don't understand.
Well, you know what?
Fuck you.
You ain't made up without blocking your number.
stupid rice and beans you uh spick shit hello oh he's gone he's gone sorry i didn't see it
should we call right back or are we done with that yeah call him back yeah okay hey you should
uh at some point tell her to shut her kids the fuck up if you can if you can work that in because
that always pisses him off you know what can you grow some balls um block your shit and call me
with your real number all right grow some motherfucking balls hey stupid bitch you have
my phone number i'm calling but you know the number because you stole my phone you understand
understand you stole my phone she's done that at the phone company they have she she left us yeah
i can call her with my real number i can call her from google okay i don't want you to get in
trouble because they sound oh shit i don't care they're ethnic all right oh yeah that's true i
don't know i should be careful okay hopefully google will broadcast on the stream and hopefully
you can hear it i don't know how this works i don't usually do this but oh by the way she's
with um sprint if you want to like you know mention that or whatever okay here you call
call from Sprint. Actually, you call from Sprint
and then connect me on it. Okay.
What kind of confusion? Oh, this is no good.
You can hear it ringing,
but it looks like the stream cannot hear it.
It's just silence for them. That sucks.
At least she didn't answer,
so we didn't waste it. That has been our call.
You got anything else? Do you want to keep going?
Tabachi sent a number
and I'm betting it's going to be closed,
but it's the San Francisco Succulent
Cactus Society.
He says
the name is Helen.
Helen. So, uh, yeah, hold on. Let me, I don't know how to dial phones. Hold on.
So if this sucks, it's all Tabachi's fault. And you're, you're going to talk, I guess, right?
Take this one and I'll jump in.
No, no, no. You can have it.
Okay. Thanks.
You need to experience the cactus. So it's Helen, Succulent Cactus Society. It's probably closed.
Hello.
Succulent Cactus Society.
Yes, I am. I'm Amber Beck.
Yeah, I'm Amber. I'm Ty.
Uh, repeat that again. I have the radio on.
Why don't you turn the radio off, because I'm talking on the phone.
Can you turn the radio off?
I can't turn it down so I can hear.
Oh, I don't know why you have it on like that.
I normally have the radio on to keep myself company in the house.
Oh, okay.
Anyway, what were you saying about pineapples?
Yeah, well, because you people put that article about you slice the cactus long
and you put it on the top of the hamburger like they do with the pineapple in Hawaii.
Right.
Okay.
Who was talking about this?
It was in a magazine. I was reading it.
Well, it got me sick, and I had damage to my appendix.
Well, that's strange.
So I wanted you people to know that.
What cactus was this that you were putting on your hamburger?
It was a California spine cactus.
California spiny cactus.
Spine cactus.
Spine cactus.
The only cactus that I know of that most people eat are the spine-less, thin, prickly pear pads that are called nopales.
and then they're usually chopped up and stir-fried,
or they're made into a relish.
Listen, don't get nasty with me.
No, no, no, no, I'm just telling you.
I don't run around recommending people put cat pee on their burgers.
Who wrote the article?
Well, it said that your society made these recommendations,
and it damaged my appendix, and my doctor said,
at the very least, you people need to apologize and post a retract.
Would you like to send me the article so I can see what you're talking about?
How would you like me to send it?
Pardon?
How would you like me to send it?
Through the mail.
Do you have Western Union there?
Western Union?
Is there a Western Union nearby?
Is there a Western Union?
There's a post office.
You can send it by email or whatever.
No, but I'm just going to like, I'm going to telegraph it.
I want to write down what it said and send it to you.
Okay, that would be great.
All right, but you still need to apologize and I want a retraction.
You can't get back until I see what you're talking about.
I haven't a clue.
Listen, don't get nasty with me.
I mean, you're supposed to be a professional.
Nobody in our society wrote an article about slicing up cacti, spiny cacti, and putting them on...
California spine cacti, if you knew what you were talking about.
See, that's what the problem is.
You people don't know what you're talking about.
You're making recommendations to people that go to the hospital six days.
To my knowledge, there's no such cactus called a Californian spine cactus.
There is. You see what I mean?
How nasty you people are and how dumb?
No, I will take it to my society and have all the experts...
You're not even American.
Just send me the article.
You're not even... Where are you from?
Timbuktu. Just send me the article.
No, seriously, are you from New Zealand, Australia, or the UK?
Getting close. Try South Africa.
Mike.
Oh, it's disgusting. Apartheid.
Damn. She was, like, such a nice, friendly old lady at first.
And then, by the end, you turned her into a bitch.
Getting close. Bye.
She knows her cacti
I felt bad at first
Because she's like I keep the radio on
To keep me company
She sounds so lonely
I don't even listen to the radio anymore
Tabachi
I think it was him that said it
He said she doesn't have a TV
I guess he's been calling her earlier today
She's got a little cacti radio
She's going to listen to the radio
He said something
He says he thinks that cactiradio.com is a cactus-related talk show.
Yeah, that's what he says.
I don't believe him, though.
He's bullshit.
That was pretty good.
If we got anything else, I'm surprised.
Usually by now I'm passed out.
It's the prank calls.
They're keeping you healthy.
You need to do more of those.
Yeah, I'm getting the dark sides coming back in here, man.
Should I play the outro?
Yeah, I should play the outro so it's like a real show.
There you go.
All right.
We need Nunu to call, or whoever does all the announcement things at the end.
Milkman.
Milkman, that's it.
Yeah, he does.
Fucking Milkman.
He's not around.
Can't depend on him for anything.
He's got a broken ankle.
He hurt his ankle, man.
Damn.
It's like a hex has been put on everyone on the show.
Dude, yeah, my house was cursed.
I've got a feeling.
I think I was, to be honest with you, I was out behind my house, and I found two coconuts
wrapped up in aluminum foil.
and I looked it up online
and it was
Sanaria stuff
so I think there might be
someone who's out to get
crap
yeah I'm not kidding
I'm not kidding
I'm pretty sure
I'm just gonna like
stay away from you
from this point on
yeah
oh you're safe
you're alright
I don't need this shit
yeah
voodoo doesn't go
through telephone lines
it's cool
we're alright
alright well
hey uh
thanks for having me on
thanks everyone for listening
go to madhouse5.com
and cacti redo dot
yeah that was fun
dot com
yes yes madhouse live.com and all that yes bye bye everyone oh yeah so uh you know we just came
through to check y'all niggas you know i'm saying to show some love i'm saying us niggas don't know
how long we gonna be here feel me so enjoy this shit and enjoy yourselves and then we out of here
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